All the Right Reasons by CelestriaStar
Chapter 1 by CelestriaStar
Author's Notes:

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“I’m sorry, Ms. Raine…18 months at the most is what he has, without a stem cell transplant that is, I’m so sorry there isn’t better news, we’ve exhausted all other options.”

I looked down at my sleeping angel.  He had been through so much.  For a year we had been fighting this damn disease.  Leukemia.  Only 7 years old.  God, I wish I could trade places with him, I’d do it in a heartbeat.  Even through it all, he still looked like an angel.  His blond hair had grown back after the last round of chemo, his blue eyes, the color of the ocean – still sparkled.  Nothing could kill this kid’s spirit.  “Just like your dad,” I whispered.  He began to stir.

“Hi mommy,” he smiled as he looked up at me.

“Hey, pook,” I said, as I leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.  “How you feeling?”

“Tired, do I get to go home today?” he asked me, looking up with those big, blue eyes that melted my heart.

“I think Dr. Glassman is going to let you go home tomorrow, but you’re going to have to listen to what he tells you okay?  No going out to the park, or anywhere for awhile because you know that you can get really, really sick, right?”  We had been through this so many times.  My adorable, rambunctious, 100% wild and crazy little boy had to grow up so fast over the last year.  He knew medical terms most grown adults wouldn’t have a clue about.

“Is Aunt Lila coming to see me today?” he asked as he began to sit up.

“Did I hear my name?” my best friend breezed into the room.  “Hey, big man” she said sitting down on the bed giving Jackson a huge hug.  “How’s things these days?”.

“I get to go home tomorrow,” he said and Lila looked at me.  I motioned towards the door with a nod of my head.

“Jack Attack, I need to talk to Aunt Lila outside, okay? You can play Wii!” he smiled and turned towards his game.

I walked outside and leaned up against the wall outside his room.  I’d held it together the entire time I was in there, not wanting my adorable little boy to see me upset.  But once I was outside, I let my emotions take over.  Tears streamed down my face as I silently tried to put into words what I had just been told.

“Not good news, I’m assuming,” Lisa said softly.

“No, Li…not at all, nothing has worked – they only expect any treatments to be effective for 18 months at the most.  No cure – unless there’s a bone marrow transplant,” I softly sobbed.

“So what does that mean? Can’t you do that?” She asked.  Lila was a take-charge kind of girl.  My best friend since we were teenagers growing up on the Jersey shore.  Nothing stopped her.  Looking at her, you’d never know she worked for one of the top Public Relations firms in New York City.  She’d come here straight from the gym, her long blond hair pulled back in a pony tail.  Without any makeup, she still had that natural Noxema girl look.  She pulled me into a hug.

“They’ve looked all over the country for a donor, he’s in every registry imaginable – no one’s a match, not even me…” I cried.  “I don’t know what to do…”

“What about….,” she looked at me.  I shook my head.

“Doctor said it’s not very likely that his biological father would be a match, our only  hope at this point would be a biological sibling, something Jackson doesn’t have…” I put my head in my hands as I sunk to the floor.  Lila sat down next to me and grabbed my hands. 

“This is not the Whitney Raine I know,” she said looking me in the eye.  “The Whit I know would already be figuring out what to do.  You know what to do!” She said firmly.

“What?  What can I do?” I asked trying to figure out where she was going with this.

“Give him a biological sibling,” she said simply.

“Li…you’re crazy, how? What?  Are you kidding?” I stammered.  “You know he doesn’t even know about Jackson.  We haven’t seen each other in seven years, how is that even possible? What should I do – just call him up? Say, hey – I need to borrow your sperm?  Oh, and by the way, meet your son….” 

She put her hands on her hips and looked at me.  “Has there ever been a challenge you haven’t met head on?  I’m talking to Whitney Raine here.  World renowned fashion designer!  You worked your way through Parson’s School of Design from nothing.  You are one of the most sought after designers right now.  You did it all yourself.  You’ve raised an amazing little boy. Is it really so hard to believe that you could figure out a way to do this. What’s the alternative?”

There wasn’t one.  A plan started to form.  I realized maybe Lila’s idea wasn’t as crazy as it sounded.  If the stars aligned correctly, that is.  If I could pull this off there was nothing I wouldn’t be able to do.  My heart started beating quicker just thinking about it.  About him.  So much had been left unsaid.  Such a huge divide.  He’d called several times over the years.  But I’d never taken the calls.  We’d had a couple of close calls as well, at different events, however I’d always managed to avoid him. I’d run into some of the other boys from time to time and always heard the same thing.  “He still talks about you, Whit…”, “You were the best thing that ever happened to him,” and my favorite “He still loves you…”.  Yeah, right.  Did they realize the depth of his deception?  What he had done to me? To us?  To our son?  The tears had started again.  I walked back into Jackson’s room.  Lila had left to go home. He had fallen back asleep. 

I listened to the steady beep of the monitors and sat down next to him and watched him breathe softly.  I thought of all the nights that I would walk into his room and silently watch him sleep.  He was so innocent.  He had no idea what I had gone through for him and I wanted it to remain that way.  As the sun started to go down, and the room began to grow dark, I leaned back on the small couch and shut my eyes and let myself remember the simpler days, the days that brought Jackson into my life…



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