Date: 07/12/12 12:02 pm Title: Chapter 43
Poor Cary and her own internal struggles. She is too many things & needs to just be what she was really hired to be & that's his nurse. It's probably sad that in the end when Nick said what would have happened if you werent here, I was thinking it probably wouldn't have happened at all because you wouldn't have been on tour, but in a hospital where you belong or with a less conflicted nurse who would have made some better decidions lol I'm glad she finally at least threatened to tell the guys! Watch when he finally tells them they'll still let him tour and all this not telling would have been for nothing. Kicks Cary lol it's nice having someone else to kick besides Kevin. I really want to start liking her again. I guess I would kick Nick but he's too sick lol
Author's Response: Yeah, I think that's exactly why this situation has gotten so complicated for her; she's let her feelings get in the way of her professional judgment and is acting more with her heart than her head. If she'd been using her professional judgment, she never would have agreed to this in the first place... but then I wouldn't have had much of a story LOL, so I needed her to be able to be manipulated by Nick. It's that Carter charm; it makes otherwise sensible women do stupid things LOL. You're going to hate her for at least a couple more chapters, bu things are coming to a head, so hang in there! :) Thanks for the review!
Date: 07/11/12 12:46 pm Title: Chapter 42
Well at least it wasn't a life threatening thing. Damn that red bull and damn wussy Cary. You know, I may have to call in Kevin to fire her! Not calling an ambulance. Really Cary? Call a damn ambulance!! Maybe she'll take the opportunity to call the guys and let them know Nick is in the hospital while he's out. She could say he told her she could in his woozy state, he wouldn't even remember. Ugh! She is really bothering me! Sorry, you are probably rolling your eyes at me. You know I love you though and you know me so... lol natural reaction. You really are the queen of medical dramatic situations. You write about this stuff as though it's second nature to you but I know it's because you spend so much time researching all of these details to make it as real as possible. You are fantastic at that!
Author's Response: LOL Thanks! I knew you'd be annoyed with her for not calling an ambulance!
Date: 07/11/12 12:26 pm Title: Chapter 41
The first half of this chapter was incredibly well written. (Not that everything else, isn't. By now you know how talented I think you are as a writer) Nick's thoughts were perfect. I love what he had to say about the effects of chemo. It was so sad and poignant. The suspense girl in me really loved the forshadowing leading up to the second half of the chapter as well. Very Stephen Kingish of you! I LOVE The Show Must Go On! Talk about heart breaking and poignant. The second half, you created a great flow with the concert and how hard it was for him to get through. I actually felt tired just reading how he was feeling. And of course at the end with the heart palpitations very scary. Glad he decided to go to the hospital, something is definitely wrong if HE wants to go to the hospital though! I am breaking my one chapter a day streak and reading one more! lol Go you for the suspense build up! If it's just heartburn I might kill you! lmao
Author's Response: You're reading on?! Whoo hoo! LOL I knew if there was any part that might make you read more than a chapter in a day, it'd be this one. Yay cliffhangers! Thank you so much for the compliments on the writing in the first half of the chapter. Thank you for the Stephen Kingish compliment too LOL - I definitely tried to create the suspense in this chapter. I love The Show Must Go On too; one of my favorite Queen songs. It and the backstory behind it were very inspiring to me when I was planning and writing this story, so I'm glad I could work it into a scene in the actual story. As far as the end goes, yeah, you know it's bad when Nick wants to go to the hospital! I think Cary even thinks that at one point in the next chapter. Thanks so much for this, Mare; I'm glad you liked the suspense in this one and felt like reading on! :)
Date: 07/10/12 11:47 am Title: Chapter 40
Poor Nick & those spinal taps. Ick! Just knowing things he has to endure to fight cancer makes me sad. At least his is fictional though. I couldn't even imagine having to go through a spinal tap so regularly only to then get sick from the effects of the chemo. Cancer sucks! But you write it so well.
Author's Response: Thanks! I know, it sounds horrible; I can't imagine having to go through that on a regular basis either.
Date: 07/09/12 11:54 am Title: Chapter 39
I loved the beginning of this chapter. Cary's description of the hotel room and then the reality of the coffee table. Once again, this chapter made me mad lol but not really at anyone else except Cary. She came off as dumb in this chapter. I'm just hoping that I don't start losing my faith in her the longer this secret goes unrevealed. Maybe because once again it was in her point of view? But to me I feel like since she's the only one with a smart head on her shoulders she should have done something to change this situation or bailed out by now. Especially that we're so close to the midway point. I have a feeling he's going to get news after Thr first leg that makes him have to tell the guys for the second one, but for my sanity, I need AJ to barrel in & find out sooner then that! The fact that I am worked up just shows you what a great and well layered story this is though. Even though you're driving me nuts with the boys not knowing yet. I'm sure you have your reasons. I'll be curious to see what happens when they do & I'm happy we're back to Nick tomorrow. I think I need a Cary break lol
Author's Response: LOL Cary's a pushover. I don't think she would ever have told the guys because it wasn't her secret to tell; all she could do was keep trying to convince Nick to tell them. Maybe bailing would be the better choice, but I think she's too involved at this point to do that to Nick. She's kind of stuck and doesn't have the balls to make a move. But you're right, it's like Nick's stupidity has rubbed off on her LOL. I think that's all I can say without giving anything away, but I will say that the part you're waiting for is coming... give it a few more days! :) Thanks for the review, Mare!!
Date: 07/08/12 12:07 pm Title: Chapter 38
I was looking forward to meeting Jess & I'm so glad we did. I really liked her and it was great seeing Cary interacting with her best friend. I loved Jessica's reaction to seeing Nick & wondering if the others were going to pop out lol I'm not sure I'd be able to drive either with him in the backseat. Also glad to know that keeping this secret is weighing so heavily on her. Maybe she'll finally convince Nick to say something to someone and stop this torture. Oh, loved the whole fanfic part as well, very clever. :)
Author's Response: Thanks! I realized in rereading this that all of my "best friend" characters act exactly the same LOL. But I'm glad you liked Jess! That type of character is fun to write. I don't think I'd be able to drive with Nick in my backseat either; I'd probably veer off the road every time I saw his face pop up in my rearview mirror LOL. I had to go back and find the fanfic part you mentioned to refresh my memory, but haha, yeah, I couldn't resist, considering this story does start out like one of those cheesy opening at stories, not to mention the whole terminal illness cliche. Yeah, I think this part really showed the toll all this secret-keeping is taking on Cary. It would be a huge relief to her if he'd just cave and tell them! Thanks again, Mare! :)
Date: 07/07/12 12:02 pm Title: Chapter 37
OKay, so this chapter was a tiny bit cheesy lol but not in a bad way. You needed this filler chapter just to lessen all the intensity surrounding his cancer. Loved the old man who said "Who?" when the nurse introduced Nick lol I was able to see that entire scene so well with the two of them singing! Also the end was so depressing. Thanks for taking us right back to that place! :OP It was nice hearing more about Cary's Mom and how heartbreaking it must have been for her to lose her mom when she was so young. Great job!
Author's Response: LOL Oh yeah, this was the cheesiest chapter of the story! I think... There may be a couple of others, but the opening scene of this chapter was the one that stood out as being cheesiest in my mind anyway. But it's one of maybe two or three sections of this story that is actually halfway happy, so like you said, I guess it was a nice little break from all the depressing stuff... oh, until the end of the chapter, anyway LOL. I had fun writing the nursing home part; my great grandma was in a nursing home for years, in the Alzheimer's wing, so between going there to visit her, helping with church there, and performing there with my junior high chorus, I collected a lot of funny old people stories. I like how they just blurt out whatever, either because they're too senile to know any better or just don't give a shit anymore, but either way, it's good for a laugh in a sad kind of way. Thanks for the review!
Date: 07/06/12 12:59 pm Title: Chapter 36
Once again, I have to say I love Cary's dad and got a kick out of the whole Kool Aide, root beer thing lol and of course the return of Hambelina, I want one of those tea cup pigs!! Nice job describing the house and I loved the part with the frames and that dad removed the second wife one off the wall. Did you describe your old bedroom? lol and is that poster one that really exists? I was trying to picture it in my head but couldn't recall it. Should be interesting to see what Cary's friends think about having Nick with her lol if I were her I would plan a huge high school reunion just to flaunt him around! Hehe
Author's Response: Aww, thanks! Pigs have never been one of my favorite animals, at all, but I will say, I watched a couple videos of tea cup pigs on YouTube, and they are super cute!! There was one that did tricks like a dog! I'm glad the picture frame part wasn't too cheesy - thanks! LOL I did not describe my old bedroom, although I did have posters of Leo and that BSB poster. It's this one: http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Backstreet-Boys-23x35-Group-Poster-3496-/03/!B59EZIwBGk~%24(KGrHqUOKi8EyuFhS3YQBMvmuoVf5w~~_3.JPG Although I think the one I described, with Nick doing jazz hands, was a different pose from that same photo shoot. LOL I love your idea of planning a reunion just to flaunt him around; she should have done that! Thanks for the comments, Mare!
Date: 07/05/12 12:10 pm Title: Chapter 35
I didn't really watch too many videos of the guys performing at sound check or their concert clips, but I remember watching this Michael McDonald one and cracking up. I love how you put all the real events into this story and weave them so well with his fictional cancer. I bet most people who read this & go back and watch some of these old clips can't help but think how Nick is keeping such a brave face considering what he's going through! lol you're fault for being such a good storyteller!
Author's Response: I've had people tell me that before, or that they watch him for a limp after reading Broken LOL. I take that as a compliment, but it's a really weird thought to have put into people's heads. =/ That was the fun challenge of writing this story, trying to weave the fictional stuff into the real events as much as possible to make it seem almost too realistic. I would read concert reviews for each show I wrote to see if there was anything interesting I should include (like the egging outside that NYC show - I'd forgotten all about that) and look at soundcheck pics to see what Nick was wearing that day or try to include things that he tweeted during that time, like going out for lobster when they were in Boston. What was really creepy was how well most of it fit. The real tour schedule worked so well with the chemo schedule, which was a real regimen that is used, as far as their days off coordinating with "chemo days," that it almost seemed like something he could have actually pulled off. Anyway, thanks so much for the compliment, and I'm glad you enjoyed the Michael McDonald thing - that video still cracks me up! It was fun to include it in this chapter. Thanks, Mare!
Date: 07/04/12 12:36 pm Title: Chapter 34
Great job with describing Mass general. I have been there more times then I would like to remember between escorting people there as an RA and for myself way back when I had my MS scare lol just reading that brought back those icky memories! I'm glad Nick wasn't ill enough to be hospitalized but I was kind of hoping he would be because then he'd have to let the guys know! I was also hoping that this was the chapter they would find out finally because of AJ's love for shopping. Ah well... Hopefully soon! Happy Fourth!!
Author's Response: Thanks! The internet is a wealth of information LOL. I know what you mean; it would have made things much easier if he hadn't had a choice about telling the guys! It's coming, though... eventually. :) LOL Happy Fourth to you too! Thanks again!
Date: 07/03/12 11:39 am Title: Chapter 33
This may sound sad, but it was really nice to see the boys concerned over Nick's health and wanting to keep an eye out after the heart problems he had because in reality, I don't think I ever heard the real them even bring it up once. It's really one of the things that started to disconnect me from them, their seeming lack of interest about Nick or each other in general. So, it was nice reading a brotherly bond, especially between Nick & Brian. I do think Howie might have been like that with Nick in real life. I don't know, just my random thoughts on that, but you gave me a sense of peace by creating those scenes, so thanks for that! lol and you made MY throat actually hurt at the thought of all those soars in his mouth. Poor guy! :(
Author's Response: Aww... your review made me kinda sad! LOL I can't imagine that they don't care in real life, but you're right, I don't think any of the other guys have ever talked about that publicly. Now that I think about it, it does seem kind of weird, considering how much they always talked about AJ's issues. But maybe it's just that they haven't been asked in interviews or anything. I'm sure they care, but they're all grown men with their own families and separate lives and stuff, so as long as Nick's doing well, I don't think it's something they'd worry too much about. It'll be interesting to see if we notice changes in the group dynamic when Kevin comes back, though. I'm like you and want to see them being brotherly to each other, so as hard as it was to write Nick hiding his illness from them this whole time, it was even harder to make them so oblivious to it - like, c'mon, how could they not notice something's wrong?! LOL At least it was acknowledged in this chapter that he looks/sounds "like shit." Duh!! Nick really was sick with something non-cancerous at this particular soundcheck, which made it convenient to torture him here LOL. Wow, that was a long response, but as always, I enjoy reading your thoughts - thanks, Mare! :)
Date: 07/02/12 12:04 pm Title: Chapter 32
This was a very special chapter, Julie. Of course I loved the beginning with Cujo! Wow, I could see that happening lol Really really happening. What I especially loved about this chapter was the simplicity of it. You have said more than once how you wish you could write something as simple as Fly Fishing and keep it compelling enough to keep people's attention, but in this chapter you achieved just that. The storytelling between the two of them and just the comfortable vibe they have with each other was awesome to read. We learned so much about Cary, but also about Nick. I loved how he took the time to listen to her and realize to this point it's all been about him & how scary the idea of dying is after realizing how many people he has known battling and losing their lives. Wow, this was a long review lol
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!! You should see the smile on my face right now! =D I had to go back and read this chapter to see which one it was, and yeah, the conversation between the two of them at the end was just one of those that came together really well when I was writing it. It really is kind of a turning point for Nick, him realizing not only how self-centered he's been, but also how serious his situation really is. I can't thank you enough for the comparison to Fly Fishing; I'm not sure it deserves such high praise, but I appreciate it anyway! And I'm glad you liked the beginning... I could see that happening in real life too! =P Thanks, Mare!!!
Date: 07/01/12 12:14 pm Title: Chapter 31
If I had known it was because of the cancer plot you didn't think i'd like this, I probably would have read it when you posted it! I thought this was going to be a total romance. Cancer doesn't scare me as much as romance does! lmao I can see why you'd think that though, so thank you for being so considerate of my feelings. To make it a real challenge, I should have picked Undead because of my dislike of zombies, gore and AUs. Okay, now onto the chapter...
LOL Nick feeling 'pretty shitty' And those canker sores just sound awful! Again I kind of get why he wants to do this, but an amusement park with rides, Nick? Really? Once I saw where this chapter was taking place, I knew there would be a 'special guest' I wonder if there was an emo Nick didn't marry me so I just want to disappear and die tweet afterwards? :OP although most likely there was a wedding planned.
Author's Response: I could have sworn you made a comment once about not wanting to read something that hit so close to home after what you went through with your friend Jean, but I'm either remembering wrong or just read too much into whatever you did say. Anyway, I'm glad I haven't scared you off with either cancer or Cary yet! LOL Undead has a little post-zompocalypse romance in it too, so I guess that really would have been the bigger challenge, but I'm glad you chose this one - now I can hog your feedback all to myself! =P LOL I couldn't wait for you to read this chapter because of the special guest star! =D It was nice to throw in some comic relief. I'm sure that emo tweet did happen at some point! LOL Thanks for the review!
Date: 06/30/12 03:07 pm Title: Chapter 30
Another weird moment! I actually heard "Eye of the Tiger" in my head before reading that was the song he was playing lmao I was thiniking to myself 'he's having a real "Eye of the Tiger" moment right now!'
I was so anxious for him in this chapter. I'm glad to see he made it through the show with no big problems. I find I get less annoyed with him when it's in his point of view then I do when it's in Cary's. I don't know if that was your intent while writing this but it's just something i've observed over the last set of chapters. It's like we feel her added frustrations which lead to more anger on the reader's part. With Nick, since he's the one going through it, you tend to get a better sense of how he's feeling and his justifications however STUPID, seem to make more sense lol
I didn't think you were cheesy at all. If you had them kiss, yes it would have been extremely cheesy but the whole eye thing was just playful and cute. I could see that scene with no problem at all. Great job describing it. I admit, i'm probably the only one reading this that hopes they never hook up and become and couple. I'm not entirely sure if they do or not, but I pretty much am sure they do because of you continually tellling me I wouldn't like reading this one lol I think the prospect of the special friendship they have makes both characters really compelling and believeable.
Author's Response: Haha, that's funny!! I used to listen to Eye of the Tiger while I was writing the physical therapy parts in Broken, when he was learning to walk again, because amused me LOL, but I don't think that song ever made it into the actual story, so I threw it into this one. I love what you said about getting less annoyed with Nick when you're reading the parts from his POV. It was a challenge to justify all the dumb decisions he's been making, but if your annoyance fades when you're reading it through his eyes, I guess I pulled it off! Cary knows how dumb he's being and what a sucker she is for going along with his little scheme, so I can definitely understand you being frustrated in her parts LOL. I'm glad you didn't think the last part was cheesy! No, no kissing LOL. As far as romance goes, I really didn't know when I started this story if they were going to hook up or not... I decided to let the characters decide and go with what felt right as the story unfolded, and I think what they decided worked out well. I'm not going to say what that was, but for the record, the reason I thought you wouldn't enjoy reading this one was because of the cancer thing, because of your friend, not because of any romance. I really thought you'd go with Undead, but now that you're reading this one, I'm glad you picked it; I'm enjoying your reviews on it! Thanks for this long one and for reading my equally long reply! LOL
Date: 06/29/12 03:39 pm Title: Chapter 29
Easy solution for Cary. If Nick asks do I look okay? Go to tuck in his shirt and accidentally leave it out so the chemo pump is showing then lie and say yes. Problem solved and Mare wanting to kick them both chapter after chapter over! lol this chapter made me want Applebee's! And also made me want to pinch James cheeks!!
Author's Response: LMAO!!! Love it! Thanks, Mare!
