Date: 01/14/08 04:50 am Title: Chapter 3: I'm Not The Girl You Think I Am
great update i love this story update soon
Date: 01/13/08 12:00 am Title: Chapter 3: I'm Not The Girl You Think I Am
wwwwooo hotness that was awesome! great job girl you rock my world
Date: 01/12/08 05:54 pm Title: Chapter 3: I'm Not The Girl You Think I Am
Well I read half of this chapter before, but i actually think that the part I DIDN'T read was like whoa! I LOVED Ali's narration. She really hit on some excellent points and I think its so cute how like even the smallest stupid things turn her on about Nick. It really is almost like they are falling in love with each other all over again.
And then the scene in therapy with Alyssa admitting that maybe she wasn't completely being "herself" in bed but who she thought Nick would want was also REALLY well written. I know we talked about her feelings, but the way you wrote it was really interesting. It showed a side of Ali that we haven;t seen. One that's definitely a lot more vulnerable then we usually see. It was almost refreshing in a way.
Ha and now their homework is to go home and have sex! There definitely could be worse assignments LOL
Date: 01/12/08 08:38 am Title: Chapter 3: I'm Not The Girl You Think I Am
omg omg i so loved it was soo good. and so hot. cant wait for the next chapter. so well done.
Date: 01/12/08 05:14 am Title: Chapter 3: I'm Not The Girl You Think I Am
great chapter please update really sooon. I got to read more......
Date: 01/12/08 04:28 am Title: Chapter 3: I'm Not The Girl You Think I Am
Coming from someone that’s DEVASTATED by the loss of her laptop, I can totally feel for Ali when her laptop dies. I thought it was great that Nick offered the use of his. I know that my laptop is a very private thing and the fact that Nick let her use his laptop is really important. (Oh! And I love that Nick referenced SATC. It shows that he pays attention to things she likes and he’s not just male-stuff oriented. lol.)
I enjoyed Ali’s narration because she’s noticing the little changes in Nick. The list making, the fact that she notices that he’s trusting her totally, the fact that he’s waiting for sex to make it better while she’s going crazy, and the fact that she appreciates him so much more now. They’re all so important!
The fact that she credits Noah for the fact that she and Nick are amazing now is important. It means Noah didn’t die in vain. As much as I don’t like that they lost their son, at least it’s changed your story drastically and it’s finally freeing them to be happy. They’re not constantly dealing with hardcore drama anymore. It’s the day to day relationship dramas. They’re more focused on each other and not all of the tragedy in their lives. It’s great. I hope you keep it up! And not just for your characters… I think it’s important for you as a writer to, well, write it. Write something happy. Create dynamic characters. They’ve changed SO much throughout the series already and it’s awesome that they’re continuing to mature and change and have their relationship become really awesome. :D And it’s not like they weren’t awesome before, but now they’ve grown so much.
More stuff about sex… That’s great. lol. Ali’s going crazy. Nick’s worried about how their relationship will change with sex. And I can feel for both of them. And it’s ALSO interesting that the whole “I’m not as freaky as I thought” came out. I mean, yeah, she definitely had the curiosity there about the sex things they’ve done over the years, but it was all for him. I think that’s really important that it came out before the two of them actually had sex. Because they can begin to understand each other more before they get into it.
Sooo… Ooo la la on the scene where Ali finds the homemade porn. First of all, it’s totally adorablistic that Nick keeps all of that media on his laptop… He brings it with him wherever he goes and he can look at it whenever he wants. Even when Ali doesn’t know about all of it… He has it. That’s so cute.
Aaand… 69! Amazing. I don’t think I need to say anything else. It’s just amazing. lol. Really hot and really great. I think it’s important that they haven’t had full blown sex yet. They’re easing into it and they’re teasing the hell out of each other in the process. It’s great. Seriously.
I’m so enjoying the progression of Nick and Ali. It’s better than Accidentally in Love. And you know that’s saying a lot because I’ve reread that story a LOT whenever I’m feeling down about them or just life in general. :D Sooo awesome job! Seriously, keep it up! You’ve been on a roll lately and I really hope it continues. I know that you think I’ve helped you and I’m glad that I’ve been here for you throughout it all… But dude, it’s you. You’re growing and evolving as a writer and just opening yourself up to new ideas and new themes in your work. It doesn’t make it better or worse… Just adds to your repertoire as a writer. Again, awesome job!!! Keep it coming!
Date: 01/12/08 03:44 am Title: Chapter 2: Return To Normalcy
Okay, I love how you started out with therapy. I think it was really important to see how much they’ve progressed, even if it is in a controlled environment like that. I like that things like Nick overhearing the “girl talk” is coming out now. It’s just helping Nick and Ali live in that little bubble like they are… You know, they’re just becoming so close to each other and they don’t need anyone else to feel complete. It’s great. :)
As far as the new house goes… I like that it’s a fresh start for them, but their current house is also important to them. As much as their relationship is renewed, their house will be new, too. They’ll have a new foundation laid, brand new rooms without any memories, and it’ll be awesome. They’re really planning their new life – literally and figuratively. Their rebuilding process is so conscious. They want to be strong. They want to build a house and they’re going to build a great custom house that represents both of them. Their relationship is finally becoming two equal parties coming together to build something really strong and awesome.
OH! I LOVE how Ali stands up to Lori about the Noah issue. She’s gotten SO much stronger! I think it’s really important. I think it’s also great that she’s not treating Kellie and Lori as gods. She’s trusting herself more and Nick more. It’s great that she went right home and vented to Nick. Instead of fighting with Nick and running to the girls, it’s the other way around.
I really enjoy the romance that Nick and Ali have going on lately. It’s so… Romantic. God, I suck at vocabulary, eh? lol. But anyway. I can see that Nick and Ali are getting antsy about sex, especially Ali. But the slowness of it all is great. And… LOL “Bitch routine.” That’s hilarious. It’s great that they’re calculating things this time around. They’re consciously growing closer and they’re consciously working on building a great relationship. It’s going to make an amazing difference this time around and it’s great. Sooo yay!
Great job, sweetie! I told you that you can write happy stuff! Just like Nick and Ali are taking their relationship slow to make sure it’s perfect, I think you’re taking this story a bit slower to make sure it’s exactly how you want it. And, dude, it’s working fabulously! I can’t wait for more. :D
Date: 01/11/08 03:51 am Title: Chapter 2: Return To Normalcy
sorry it took so long to read the chapter i was gonna hold out so i could read chapter 2 and 3 but i couldnt hold out it was too temping.
really great job, i feel bad for alyssa and what shes gone through of course it still hurts and you have really shown that well. Keep up the great work
Date: 01/09/08 01:20 am Title: Chapter 2: Return To Normalcy
Finally a update I've been waiting around just wanting an update but finally one came lol. Great chapter can't wait for more. Please whatever you do don't wait to long for the next one please please please!!!!
Date: 01/08/08 11:48 pm Title: Chapter 2: Return To Normalcy
yeah an update it's great keep it comin
Date: 01/08/08 11:30 pm Title: Chapter 2: Return To Normalcy
Ok... *organizes notes lol* (Ok there's not THAT many hehe) But there are a few little things I wanted to comment on between this chapter and the last one.
First off I'm really impressed with the way that Ali seems to be growing up so much in this story already. Just in chapter one I noticed a big change in the fact that she didn't really gush to the girls about what's going on between her and Nick in the bedroom. Although I myself enjoy some good girl talk every now and then, by not directly telling all to Lori and Kellie, it shows that Alyssa is way more serious about her relationship with Nick at this point. I also am liking how the other girls are beginning to see the change in her. Hopefully its not going to make their friendship drift apart now that Alyssa seems a lot more mature.
I also find her reluctance to let go of the house in LA very sympathetic. It's very symbolic because there was so much history in that house, but I think moving will be a good thing for her and Nick. They have a new chapter in their life that they're looking to start and new memories to make.
Now I'm on to read the snippet you sent me of the next chapter!
Date: 01/08/08 10:24 pm Title: Chapter 2: Return To Normalcy
Yay! Teri, I'm so glad you're back, I was dying for an update!! Poor Alyssa, I know Lori didn't mean to hurt Alyssa but it's totally understandable that she went off on Lori because I don't think Nick and Alyssa are ever going to get "over" Noah and it is so much easier to keep busy with other things than to spend every second being depressed over their loss, Lori's comment was just out of place...I love how Nick is being so romantic with Alyssa, it'll be really good for their relationship, plus holding out on the sex (or as Nick would say, the "bitch routine" and it is what he's doing no matter what he argues with Alyssa) will also help the relationship plus make it so much more special when it actually happens(BTW can't wait to see what you have in store for us when that occurs)...Awesome chapter, can't wait for more!
Date: 01/08/08 08:12 pm Title: Chapter 2: Return To Normalcy
i so loved it. cant wait for the sex that they are going to have the frist time they do it again hehe. so good cant wait for more.
Date: 12/27/07 04:07 pm Title: Chapter 1: The Turn Of The Tide
need more update
Date: 12/27/07 05:13 am Title: Chapter 1: The Turn Of The Tide
So far so good:) Can't wait to read more!
