Date: 06/15/13 05:53 pm Title: Chapter 16
Yay for the metaphorical ending! My favorite is that of Howie as the sponge. Very appropriate. I kind of wish there were a little more to the ending. More discussion among the guys about how and why they're going to stay together, but this ending works, too.
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to read this, especially since you enjoy the more fast paced type stuff. I know this one is anything but. Your feedback has been great and really insightful. I tend to like open type of endings so that's probably why I didn't go too much into detail in the last chapter. Thanks again, Emily! It's been fun! :O)
Date: 06/15/13 05:50 pm Title: Chapter 15
Beautiful chapter. The writing style changed a bit here-- a little choppy, but almost poetic. I liked how he was looking over at the houses and imagining normalcy, then there's the mention of purplr poop from eating crayons and he realizes normal isn't going to be possible. haha! There goes Nick being all deep again.
Author's Response:
I actually remember the purple poop! Weird what our brains choose to remember. That's very Nick of me lol
Date: 06/14/13 01:32 pm Title: Chapter 14
Nice scene here with the sunset at the picnic table and the memory of when Howie and AJ first met. "The waiting place" is a pretty hard place to be sometimes.
Author's Response:
I agree!
Date: 06/13/13 02:39 am Title: Chapter 13
Oh, this chapter made me so sad! But out of all the guys I think this attitude about the group fits Brian the best. I mean, we know Kevin left for a few years, but I still think there were deeper reasons for it. Otherwise, I nearly peed my pants when Howie said "piss" and they all started harping on him for it (no pun intended). He says "piss" in the next chapter of Forever that I'm putting the finishing touches on, though it's in a completely different context. Still, there's a mention of how out of character it is for him. Great minds??
Author's Response:
lmao yes, must be great minds thinking alike there! I bet Howie just runs around his house yelling the word "piss!" all day long in real life!
Date: 06/12/13 03:20 am Title: Chapter 12
Love the "Will you hand me a soda?" bit, and I like how you threw in the pop vs. cola vs. soda thing. I can tell you that kev probably calls it pop? Because he grew up less than a hundred miles away from where I live. I liked AJ paralleling this situation with rehab. Though, I have to admit, I'm missing the metaphors. Still some use of literary devices, though! Not sure if that's intentional or not, but I like it. I'm more of a narrative writer, and I think throwing in more literary techniques would definitely make me a stronger writer.
Author's Response:
We just call everything Coke here lol l As much as I would love to say it's all intentional, when I wrote this I had no idea what I was doing and just kind of went with the flow. Apparently I was being very metaphorical. I should really go back and read this just to see how much, if at all, I've grown and you my dear, are already a pretty strong writer. :O) in fact, off to go read another chapter right now while I have some free time!
Date: 06/08/13 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 11
Way to go, Kevin!
Author's Response:
No clue, but yay Kevin lmao
Date: 06/06/13 12:39 am Title: Chapter 10
"I am saddened by all of the things I have missed just because I never bothered to look."-- Me too, Nick. Me too.
Author's Response:
And same here lol he's very deep!
Date: 06/05/13 09:42 pm Title: Chapter 9
Again with the metaphors-- I like what you did there with the walking in a line thing. Sounds like Howie. My favorite line in this chapter: "The youngest is not as dim witted as everyone thinks." I love seeing how much Nick has grown over the years.
Author's Response:
I know! I am so proud of Nick! I really do think he's always been a lot smarter than he tends to act when the cameras are on. I must have been in a metaphorical state when writing this one. LMAO Thanks, Emily!
Date: 06/03/13 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 8
I can definitely see Brian as a homebody. I think that's part of why he settled in Georgia as opposed to LA or Florida. As an aside, I wonder how often he actually gets back to Kentucky (Kevin, too). I can remember going to Lexington or driving through Irvine as a teenager and having that tiny sliver of hope that I'd see one of them. Never happened of course! I'm interested to see where this Nick/Brian storyline goes.
Author's Response:
I bet Kevin gets home a little more frequently than Brian does, but I think home is important to Brian too. Thanks, Emily! I'm curious where the Nick/Brian storyline is gong to since I don't remember lol
Date: 06/02/13 10:07 pm Title: Chapter 7
I can see Howie being extremely intimidated by Kevin, too.
Author's Response:
He has that way about him, definitely! Thanks for all the feedback, Emily! :O)
Date: 06/02/13 10:03 pm Title: Chapter 6
I really like how metaphor-driven this story is. First, the blurry dull trees, now the
"static," even the story title itself. Well done. I had to laugh at how Kevin is talking about not being able to get the plumbing to work right the older he gets. LOL. Again, the mark of a young Mare. I, too, thought Keivn was ancient when he was what? 31? Now here I am knocking on 30's door and think, man, they're all still so young! haha
Author's Response:
Thanks! I think Kevin's personality in general always makes him seem older than he is. I bet when he was 12, his friends talked about him like he wasa grandpa! LOL
Date: 06/02/13 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 5
I love that Brian's simple attention to Nick by asking him to finish his thought totallly seemed to turn around his day. Nick has always intrigued me. We all know there's more there than what meets the eye, but of all of them, I'd bet Nick's got the biggest story to tell.
Author's Response:
That's why even though Kevin is my favorite, I tend to write most about Nick. I find him the most layered out of them all. I kind of can't wait for his autobiography to come out!
Date: 06/01/13 11:40 pm Title: Chapter 4
Aww...Loved it! Good way to end a chapter that started out really depressing! Haha- I can totally see Brian doing the thumb-sucking thing witn AJ.
Author's Response:
LOL I wish I could remember what you're talking about. It's been such a long time since I've written this and I haven't read it since then. I might have to g back and re read this one.
Date: 06/01/13 01:17 am Title: Chapter 3
Love the imagery of the "dull blurry trees" here.
Author's Response:
Thanks! :O)
Date: 06/01/13 01:06 am Title: Chapter 2
"Silence. Should be comforting, even golden, but seems oddly misplaced in here." Love that line! Good theory on why Howie and Brian aren't getting along. I can totally see that happening. Your inclusion of AJ's alcohol cravings makes it seemmore real. I'm sure it's a still a daily struggle.
Author's Response:
Thanks, Emily! And I agree, I am sure it's a constant struggle for AJ. I can only imagine.
