Reviewer: Tri Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/04/07 11:23 pm Title: Chapter 32: You Can Let Go

Okay, let me just say that I am SOOOO glad that Nick is finally getting HIS emotions out. Throughout this series, he’s always had to be the strong one. During trials and tribulations with his family, with Alyssa, with Alyssa’s family, with his career, with his relationships… He’s always made out to be the strong one, the one that holds everyone together, or the bad guy. He’s never looked upon with sympathy and he’s really been due for it for a long time.

I think the poker game was an excellent metaphor for Nick and Alyssa. Even though they know each other well, they can’t ALWAYS read each other and they might be holding different cards than both originally thought all along. Interesting for sure.

Throughout their talking, the two of them realized something that they’ve really needed to all along. They have the same issues and they’re deep down really similar. Hopefully that with that realization, they’ll be able to work through more together.

Another interesting realization is that they’ve always been holding SOMETHING back. When they were friends, they were hiding their romantic feelings. Now, in a relationship and engaged to be married, they’re holding back on their emotions so they don’t hurt each other. Deep down, they’re both afraid of letting go. This chapter really capitalized that problem for them.

Hopefully they’ll learn from their mistakes and their losses throughout their relationship and they’ll grow closer than ever before. Now that they’re finally realizing that it’s not just about Alyssa, I think they’ll be able to do just that. :)

Great chapter. A lot of emotions included in this one. Hopefully they'll continue along in that same vein.

Reviewer: xKiKix Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 12/03/07 12:21 am Title: Chapter 31: Shadow Of The Day

awww... see i know nick wasnt gonna be stupid.. they're SO meant for each other... pls update more...

Reviewer: Anita Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/02/07 10:20 pm Title: Chapter 30: There's No Such Thing As Progress Without A Little Regression

very awesome job with the chapter rock on girl

Reviewer: Anita Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/02/07 10:03 pm Title: Chapter 28: Angst Isn't a Four-Letter Word

well so good so far things are improving slowly i can hardly wait to see where it leads

Reviewer: Tri Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/02/07 09:52 pm Title: Chapter 23: Noah's Arc

Okay... So I read it again. I decided that that's the only way I could try to get over everything. So I'm going to leave you a review like I should have the first time.

The chapter moved so quickly. It was exactly like life is in a hospital from the side of a visitor. You painted such an accurate view of things… From running from floor to floor if you’re unfortunate enough to be monitoring more than one person’s progress to trying to rest and eat to keep your stamina up to the emotional rollercoaster of good news, bad news, and the worst news you could ever hear. So there you are… You're waiting to hear if your loved one is going to be all right and all the while you're completely helpless. It's a horrible feeling. You know you can't do anything and you leave it up to fate. You trust in a higher power that everything's going to be all right and all you can do is sit back and wait it out to see if your trust was in vain or not. Unfortunately, sometimes trust isn’t enough and nobody can change what is meant to happen. You completely showed that with Nick. He was completely helpless with Alyssa, with his child, with everything... He didn't have any control over his life and it all happened so fast. Like everything he wanted and all of the good things in life that he so strove to obtain were in a room behind glass and it was all destroyed while he was standing on the other side, completely powerless and vulnerable to all the pain on the outside.

I feel like I’ve felt like Nick a lot… I’ve never personally been in the hospital for anything, but my family members definitely have. So I’ve always been waiting at a bedside or in a waiting room for hours on end, just hoping good news would come soon. My grandpa went in and out of the hospital countless times in the last ten years of his life. My grandma and my grandpa were actually in the hospital at the same time at one point… It was like Nick running up and down to the different floors each time something new happened. My grandma always had health problems. She was admitted to a nursing home in her early 60s after trying to commit suicide. It came down to watching her die in an ICU unit of a hospital a few years later. It was a lot to handle. Then, a month later, my grampa died. Which was even more difficult to handle because I was extraordinarily close to him. I was the only “normal” pregnancy my mother had. You know about most of it. One of my brothers had an extended stay in the hospital after he was born and my mom was in and out of the hospital for months. She almost died herself, leaving me really confused. I didn’t understand what was going on and I actually was put into counseling through my kindergarten teacher. For the first five years of my brother’s life, he was in and out of the hospital, leaving me with baby-sitters or family, both of whom liked to gossip a lot in front of me. I was always hearing what could happen and I was just a kid… Completely helpless. Not that that matters. I couldn’t save my grandparents at 17 and Nick couldn’t save Noah at 26 (is that his age?). When my other brother was coming, my mom went into labor at the sixth month. Thankfully, they were able to stop it, but I was staying at my aunt’s at the time. I felt helpless and she and her friends weren’t making it any easier, asking me (at age 11) if I thought my mom and the baby were going to die. Two months later, she went into labor again, but luckily, my brother was healthy and so was she. Then Christmas a few years later, he went into the hospital and my brother and I stayed home cleaning and assembling Christmas presents. They told us that if we would’ve waited until the next day, he probably wouldn’t have been helpable.

I guess what I’m saying is that this chapter was more personal that I let on in the beginning. I’m a generally happy, optimistic person. I don’t like to show a lot of emotions and I don’t like it when people know too much about me. I know that I don’t like hearing people complain and obsess over their problems, so why would I want to inflict that on someone else? It’s the same thing with my writing and the things I choose to read. If I’m going to choose something to spend time on that isn’t my normal, everyday life, wouldn’t I want it to be something that brings me joy? I’m aware that the world is a horrible place and that death is all too real. I’m aware that people die, cheat on their significant others, lie, abuse people, etc… I know that it can make people stronger. I know that life can’t just be happy rainbows and sunshine all the time, but in the world I create, I don’t like to concentrate on the big overwhelming drama. So it’s just not typically my style. Not that I’m sayingit bad that that’s what you did.

When it really comes down to it, I’m not pessimistic, but I’m definitely realistic. I always think of what the worst thing is that could happen and I try to prepare myself for it. In my head, I usually know it’s coming, but I keep holding onto that thread of hope in my heart that says that everything could turn out to be just fine. Throughout this chapter, that’s what I kept thinking. I kept thinking that he just had to get better. That he would be a miracle baby and Nick and Ali would use that brush with tragedy as something to build on. Something to learn from. They would care more. They would try harder. But they wouldn’t be punished for not realizing what was happening sooner. The fact that Nick visited the gift shop showed that he had hope. He had hope that he would be able to give the bear to Noah and that everything would be fine. Even though I knew what you’d been planning all along, I had been hoping in the pit of my stomach that you would change your mind. So it was just a huge letdown when I actually read the words. “I’m so sorry honey, we lost him…” As if he was a carelessly misplaced item in a junk drawer somewhere. And I know that’s what people say. “Passed away” or “lost.” I personally hate the terms. They’re supposed to soften the incident? The person died, plain and simple. They’re never coming back and there’s nothing you can do about it. So buck up and move on.

I get now that it was the only option for the story. After all, it’s just a story. And life is a lot crueler sometimes. So Nick and Alyssa will grieve, deal with Noah’s death, and lead successful, mostly happy lives. If Noah had lived, they would have to deal with having another person around to distract them from one another. They have to work out their problems before they can have a happy family. In fact, they’re probably better off that Noah died. That way, they don’t have to worry about being good parents. They can tackle one problem at a time. Their relationship comes first, then their family. If Noah had lived, he would’ve just been a distraction in the way of their feelings for each other. Let’s just hope that they can mature and be able to handle more than just each other in the future. Otherwise, it’ll be difficult to have that family that they both want so much. I know that from what you have planned, they should be fine. They’re some of the lucky ones. Alyssa flat lined, but she was given another chance. There had to be a reason for that. Nick has been the one that people might deem “lucky” because he hasn’t been the one that’s visibly had any pain. He didn’t have a difficult pregnancy. He didn’t have a parent die. He didn’t “lose” the child that he had carried for months. He’s just been along for the ride. Which, in some ways, may be more difficult. He’s just watching helplessly. He’s the one left behind. He’s not the one that is visibly hurting. He doesn’t really have any scars to show for his pain. He has to help Alyssa through her pain first, then deal with his own. He has a career, but he was pushed into it by selfish parents. Maybe Alyssa lost Jamie, but at least she had him in the first place unlike Nick who was never really loved unconditionally by anyone. Maybe Alyssa lost Noah, but at least she carried him and had a bond with him that Nick would never share. Maybe Alyssa flat lined on the table, but she would have been at peace, unlike Nick who would be without his soul mate in everyday life. I’m not discounting Alyssa’s pain because of course it’s appropriate that she has it. It’s just that Nick has to be so strong for her and for his family… For his fans, even. He has to put up a front and hide his pain and emotions for the sake of others. He doesn’t want to scare them with his darkness and he wants to be strong for them at the same time. Hopefully he’ll be able to open up through therapy and a renewed sense of intimacy with Alyssa. And, of course, I hope that Alyssa will open up and confront her pain as well.

Themes? Overall feelings of this chapter and the following chapters? Life goes on. People grow and change. People forget the pain they felt when they replace the holes in their lives with other things. Maybe more children. Maybe a powerful career. Maybe schoolwork. Maybe a hobby. Whatever it is… Time doesn’t stop for anything. If you’re going to make it in this world, you have to go with the flow. Take the good with the bad. Trample the weak and hurdle the dead. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Don’t dwell on the past. Learn from it and take with you what you learned and leave behind the rest. It’s all heading to a better future.

(Or at least let me believe it is…)

Overall, this should all be a humungous compliment to you, my dear. If you can get me to finally admit to my emotions and react like I have been, then wow… You’re really something. I hope that my lengthy explanation let you in a little. I just… I really want to get past this. I really do.

Reviewer: Anita Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/02/07 09:41 pm Title: Chapter 25: The Importance Of Family

can you just  make like one chater where im not bawling? really is that too much to ask? great job though

Reviewer: Anita Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/02/07 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 23: Noah's Arc

really i didnt think i could cry any harder (dryly) but guess what i am gr i hate you!