She looked at herself one more time in the full length mirror, she liked how she looked but truth be told she wasn’t happy. The wedding dress was beautiful and Sally had done a great job with the makeup. She got closer to the mirror and saw the sadness in her eyes; she took a deep breath trying to contain her emotions. The sadness in her heart was threatening to come out in tears; she didn’t want that to happen. She was abruptly brought back from her thoughts by the knock on her door. “Your not suppose to see the bride before…”

He looked at her and smiled, she looked beautiful, “Shhh… that’s all gibberish. I wanted to talk to you before but your family and mine wouldn’t leave us alone for a second. Rose I love you but not like you deserve and I know you don’t love me to the extent to marry me. I see the sadness in those beautiful brown eyes. So I have come to make a deal with you…”

“What kind of deal?” Rose asked staring at him curiously.

“Well I called Rony and arranged for you to runaway with him. I want you to be happy and I want to be happy. I can only see you as my friend. Rose what do you say?”

******

She couldn’t believe what Nate had told her, she knew he had a heart in there. She straightened her white gown just as she heard a soft knock on her door. She put on her best face and spoke, “Come in.”

“Wow, honey you look gorgeous.” He hugged his daughter as he spoke again, “Rose, you know this is the best for you, the Gellar’s are high class just like us. Nothing compared to Rony and his family. Besides Nate really loves you and his family just adores you especially Mrs. Gellar. I know later on you will thank me, I know you will.” He hugged his daughter tighter but, still he did not get a response from her.

She pulled herself away and spoke, “Let’s just get this over with. It’s apparent that since mom left us your heart has turned to stone. Did you not marry my mother who was poor and a mere flower girl? You both were happy, not because I marry someone rich will it stop me from suffering pain dad. Everyone dies poor or rich.”

“It not about that Rose!” he yelled at his daughter.

“Yes it is about that.” Rose said grabbing her bouquet of roses and stumping to the door. “Come on dad lets go… its my life your ruining not yours. I just want you to know that I am doing this because I just can’t have the courage to leave all this bull and because at the end of the day dad I love you. Too bad you can’t see how this is making me unhappy.”

*******

He watched Rose and her dad walk up the isle; he smiled at his future wife as she looked up at him. Rose was the girl next door to him, but he never looked at her in this kind of way. Both had grown up together in the same community and had gone to the same high school, but never really talked. She was the smart girl always in the library, her nose in a book.

Then he went off to college and she had stayed to go to a local college. After three years in Florida State he had to move back to Dallas due to his father’s condition. Being the oldest of three he now had to care for the family business. He didn’t care much for it, but he did for his father and mother. He gave up his dreams to make sure his dad’s continued.

He was hesitant in moving back to his parent’s house in Highland Park but, his father begged him to stay there till he passed. So feeling guilty he moved back to his old home, he was forced into the world of oil business and he hated it deep inside…he did. Now here he was about to marry this girl. Well, maybe not.

He did like her she was hot, smart and easy to talk to. But, it wasn’t love and after he found out about Rony, the more he came to the conclusion that Rose was his best friend, nothing more. But, Mr. McDonald did not see it that way and basically gave his daughter to him. After many persuasions from him, his own mother and the surprise engagement party they both had arranged without there consent, it was settled they were going to get married whether they liked or not. Rose tried to run away with Rony but, her father caught them and he made sure Rony did not come near her again. He never found out how Mr. McDonald convinced his daughter to go through with the wedding but, she finally stopped fighting for what she wanted and she started planning the wedding herself.

Two months before the wedding he met Kim and he now knew that Rose was just someone he admired and cared for in some way. He started to get serious feelings toward Kim and now he too wanted this charade to stop. He cleared his throat and concentrated on the events that were taking place at the moment. He took Rose’s hand and together they faced the priest that was going to perform the ceremony.

She winked at Nate as she faced the priest. She felt the reassuring squeeze from Nate as she tuned out at that precise moment. She had a profound respect for Nate and his mom was a sweetie but, he was right, he was not her match - Rony was.

Rony the son of Mark McDonald’s gardener and handyman around the house, Rony Casares a smart young man that she met one day when he came to help his father. As her whole life passed through her head, she felt like crying she was an unhappy person, she was brought back by the Priest words. This was it she turned to face Nate and he faced her. She must’ve tuned out longer than she had expected.

He grabbed her hand and kissed it gently as he mouthed to her good luck. The Priest asked Rose the question she was waiting for and with the corner of her eye she saw her cue. “Do you Miss Rose Marie McDonald take Nathaniel James Gellar to be you lawfully wedded husband?”

She held her breath for a few seconds then slowly she looked at the people gathered in the church and then she stared at her father who had a smile on his face. She turned back to Nate and then she turned to the priest for one last time. She then looked straight into Nate’s eyes and got the confidence she needed, “I do….. NOT!” She stepped down, started walking fast toward the exit, she turned around and loudly said, “Thank you” to Nate who was now holding onto to Mark who was up and trying to get to his daughter.

She finally made it outside and there was the light blue mustang waiting for her. Rony smiled as he saw her walk out with her shoes in hand. She ran to him and hugged him not wanting to let go. “Let’s go Rose,” he told her as he opened the passenger’s door for her.

She gladly climbed in and then he made it to the driver’s side and they both took off not knowing where they were going but that they were going together.

AJ drove silently listening to the music going nowhere in specific, but, since his rehab situation he found that driving for a long period of time made him relax. Soon he would join the rest of the guys for the new tour for the Never Gone album and he took every chance he got to do his cruising around the freeways and highways.

Once he had ended up in on border of the US and Mexico and then he returned to his home. Now here he was singing along when he noticed on the side of the highway an old mustang with a flat. He smiled as he saw a young man fixing it as a young woman dressed in a wedding dress sat on the trunk singing to something. He slowed down and just made sure everything looked good he smiled at the young woman. She was gorgeous even though she had mascara stained cheeks and no shoes on. The couple did look a little odd, but he waived it off and then just drove a long the highway….

*******

“Rony I love you,” she said as she saw him work on the flat tire. It didn’t seem like just three days agot she had run away with him. Only passing to Vegas to get married, Rony told her about a friend he knew in L.A. that was going to help him get a job and how he was going to make her the happiest woman alive. They had been driving nonstop for 8 whole hours and now they were close to there new home.

“Ok, let’s go,” he told her as he wiped his forehead. He smiled at his wife of only two days; hey she was already dressed for the occasion so why not get married. He got into the car and looked at Rose, “I love you and nothing will change that.”

“I know that Rony and I love you too.” She kissed him and then let him go so he could start up the car again. The roar of the motor came with the turn of the key, she felt her heart beat faster as she realized this was the happiest she had been since her mother had died. She turned the radio on and laughed as she heard the song on the radio.

Look ahead as we pass, try and focus on it
I won't be fooled by a cheap cinematic trick
It must have been just a cardboard cut out of a man
Top-forty cast off from a record stand

Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.

I don't know could've been a lame jogger maybe
Or someone just about to do the freeway strangler baby
Shopping cart pusher or maybe someone groovy
One thing's for sure, he isn't starring in the movies.
'Cause he's walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., only a nobody walks in L.A.

Walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'

He laughed too as he got back on the highway and drove off. He started to sing along the radio with his wife too. “Nobody’s walks in LA” he sang before he realized an eighteen wheeler was coming right toward them he started honking but to no avail………

********

He had to cut short his drive due to the call he got from Kevin about a meeting. He emphasized that he understood it was short notice but that is was important. So when he came around the first exit he took it to return back to L.A. A few miles into his drive he noticed an eighteen wheeler turned over and he felt his stomach tighten. It was late afternoon and the highway was pretty quiet and lonely only a couple of cars around. He slowed his SUV and that’s when noticed the other car flipped on the side. He froze for a good five seconds and finally he phoned for help. He slowly made his way to the flipped car, getting closer he could smell burned rubber.

He felt a knot form on his throat as he saw a body lying on the grass in a very odd position, he cleared his throat and spoke, “Are you ok…- sir are you ok?” he voice quivered as he took a closer look. Something told him he was not alive…he quickly turned his attention to a moan coming closer to the car. Someone was still alive; he got up and searched for that person. As he turned to the other side of car he saw a woman that looked to be stuck under the car. She was bleeding from her ears and she looked in bad shape, but she was moaning. He got near her and told her the ambulance was on the way, she barely opened her eyes. He looked at her and then it hit him this was the couple he had passed by earlier. Her white dress was torn and dirty with grass stains as well as the blood oozing through her side where a glass stood. He didn’t know what to do and almost broke into tears when he heard the sirens…..

********

“Man I don’t know why I am following you to do this. AJ, you saved her life, she’s doing well, and the doctor’s will make sure they find a family member to claim her. Why are you so worried?” asked a very annoyed Nick. He hated hospitals and he hated doctor’s per say.

“Look,” said AJ as he spun around and faced a much taller Nick. “I told you where I was coming, you chose to follow.”

Nick just grunted and smiled at his friend. “Fine, I understand that but come on you don’t even know her.” He raised his arms in defeat as he saw the glare AJ was giving him “Is she hot?”

Even though AJ wanted to slap Nick on the head for that question he instead laughed. He suddenly stopped and looked at Nick with a serious face. “Do you really think I am that shallow? I am not doing this just because she is hot Nick, she is a human being! She doesn’t remember who she is…and worst she doesn’t remember who the guy with her was. He is dead Nick and it could and most likely be her husband….I did tell she was wearing a wedding dress – right?”

“So you just admitted she is hot and that this is not your first time here since this happened…Interesting…” said Nick as he tapped his finger on his chin. He stopped when he saw anger flash through AJ’s face. “Ok, kidding you’re just trying to be a Good Samaritan.” He gave him a sincere smile and sighed when he saw AJ go back to walking up the stairs.

AJ smiled to himself as he heard Nick trail behind him gasping for air. That’s what he gets for having a perverted mind…thought AJ as he finally made it the 5th floor. “We are here, I think you should wait in the waiting area, I will only be in there for ten minutes max…” he told his friend as he saw him lean against the wall.

After a few seconds and a fast recuperation from the stairs he spoke, “Are you crazy I want to meet her, I promise I will be polite. Besides even I know that your ten minutes can turn mighty long if you are not pressured.” He smiled to his friend as he straightened his shirt.

“Fine, but I warn you Nick don’t start with your stupid comments, understand?” asked a very annoyed AJ.

“Done, Deal, I get it and I promise,” responded Nick as he followed his friend….

*********

She stared at the scratches on her hands and then looked at the surroundings. Blank.. That’s what she felt – blank – the harder she tried to remember the more she felt like giving up. Who was she, who was the man with her and where were they heading? She took a deep breath and tried not to get frustrated. She heard the light knock on her door and gently asked who ever was outside to come in. She smiled at the man coming in, the only man she knew or as least she had gotten to know. The man that saved her life…

“Hey,” said AJ as he made his way inside.

“Hey, for a second there I thought you weren’t coming today,” she said trying not to sound too excited with his visit.

“Yeah, sorry I just got a little caught up with some stuff but, I am here now.” He smiled at her, she looked much better and she had no IV hooked on her hand. “Listen I brought a friend with me and do you mind if he comes in?”

She was startled she hadn’t seen anybody aside from him, the doctors, and nurses that had been attending to her care. “Yeah, it will be nice to meet someone new,” she smiled. She saw him slip back out the door only to return a few seconds later with a man taller than him right behind him.

*****

*song: Missing persons :"Walking in L.A."

Two months had gone by and still she remembered nothing… she was about to be discharged and yet nothing came to her about her past. What she didn’t understand is why no one was claiming or reporting her as missing. Was the guy in the car all she had? She was deep in her thought; she did not hear the nurse come in.

“Sweetie, we have found someone who says that she knows who you are,” said the petite nurse as she walked into the room. She smiled as saw the expression on he young woman change into a happier one.

“Really? Kelly do you realize what this means? I will be able to find out my name and who the guy with me was.” Her expression changed as she mentioned the young man that had died in the crash.

“Yes, sweetie I do. This also means that Dr. Richards will be able to release you from the hospital earlier than expected. Now come here so I can check your pressure dear.” She motioned for her to sit on her bed.

“Where is she? This person that knows who I am, when will I see her?” she asked as she sat on the bed to let the nurse do her job.

“She will arrive tomorrow night from San Diego.” The nurse smiled at the young woman as she continued to examine her.

She smiled as she heard the nurse tell her how fast she had recovered. She watched the nurse leave as she repeated the word San Diego in her head. She tried to think, maybe that way she could remember something. Nothing came to her though and she became frustrated as she repeated the city’s name.

*********

AJ looked out the window and concentrated on the busy streets, he started to count all the yellow cabs he could see. He smiled at how many he could spot from where he was. He usually loved New York but, this time he was not enjoying it at all. He was interrupted by someone’s hand slapping his back. He already knew who it was and to his dismay he was right! “Nick, what he hell do you want?” asked AJ as he turned to face his friend.
“Nothing. I ‘m just bored here waiting for my turn in the studio. I just want to talk with you, that’s all. So what were you thinking about?”

“Nothing. What makes you think I was thinking about someone?” said a very subtle AJ.

“Ah, so you’re thinking about someone. Let me guess, that girl in the hospital?” he smiled slyly to AJ, who was turning different shades of red.

“So what if I am?” asked AJ as he looked at his friend.

“Nothing I guess – but, why are you so interested in this girl?” asked Nick.

“I don’t know? I mean I know what you’re thinking but it’s not like that at all. I just have the urge to help her.” He looked down to the carpet, trying not to see Nick’s face.

Nick smiled as he patted AJ’s back, “Look dude, I understand what you mean and that is something very admirable of you. Your human and it’s natural to want to protect or help someone or something that is vulnerable.”

“Man sometimes you amaze me Nick,” said AJ as he smiled at Nick’s comment.

“I know… it’s the blonde hair, it throw’s people off.” Nick rolled his eyes as he got what AJ was hinting. “I am smart AJ, why do you think I get all the good looking and smart girls…Maybe I should stop dying my hair…” he gave AJ a cheesy smile.

“Whatever dude. I recall someone by the name of Paris – not so smart.” At that moment they saw Brian and Howie walk out and cue them to come in…

*******

She had to admit that she was missing AJ’s visits. She had come to appreciate his company and he gave her so much strength emotionally. He made her feel good even though he did not know who she was. He told her he was going to be gone for a few weeks and she understood him, it was job related.

She smiled curiously as she realized he hadn’t told her what his job was all about. She could tell he must get paid well though by the clothes he wore. She wondered if she had a job or if she was in college. She wondered many things really. She sighed heavily as she realized that she felt lonely and vulnerable, especially now that she didn’t even receive the visits from her new friend AJ.

AJ what a strange man per say, he had the bad boy look yet he was more sentimental than her? He was a great guy actually and she liked his company. She was dosing off when she heard her door open. In came her doctor and an elderly woman in her late sixties. She felt her heart speed up as she could finally see some light in her dark path. Was this the lady who said knew her?

“Doctor this is not my Nicole,” said Janice as she examined the young woman on the bed. She was beautiful and the same age as her daughter Nicole, but it wasn’t her. “I just thought it was her,” she said before she broke into tears.

She looked at the woman with anger and pity. She was angry because she had mistaken her and now she was back into total darkness, not knowing who she was. But, she felt pity for her as she saw the sad face she made as she realized she had not found her daughter. She watched the lady leave her room, she watched her doctor follow her out but, not before giving her a face that said don’t give up. She grabbed the remote and turned on the T.V. just to try and forget what had just happened. She started flipping through the channels, pictures flashing through her eyes. She was angry at herself and suddenly she was angry at the guy that had died, he was the only one that she had. Apparently he was all she had….she started to cry….

**********

He sighed as he finally made it to his house. He started to unlock his door, when he heard a voice call his name. He felt his heart beat faster as he recognized the voice; slowly he turned to face her. “Hi, Sarah…”

“Hey Alex, I guess I came right on time. Listen, I was going through some of my stuff and found this…” she showed him the picture of them together. She took a deep breath and again spoke, “I miss you, I’ve tried to forget about you but I can’t.”

He looked at the woman standing in front of him; he saw the sadness in her eyes. He missed her too, but he was to blame for it. “I’ve missed you to, but I have learned to deal with it. It’s been four years since you broke off our engagement and for a good reason. Yet, sometimes it feels like yesterday.”

“I want you though; I am willing to give us another try. I know we will succeed.” She got close to him, really close she could smell his cologne and the cigarette mixed together. She leaned in and kissed him softly and gently at first. Then she intensified the kiss, she smiled inside as she felt him respond to her kiss. Memories of her and him together flashed through her head as she kissed him.

She tasted so sweet and her smell was just divine, he felt his feelings come back. He had shut them in his heart away from everything, those wonderful feelings he had for her. Sarah his beloved Sarah, he broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. Those eyes that told him she was being sincere. Did he really want to do this? He had loved this woman to no extent and at the first temptation he had cheated on her. Could he really do this again? He smiled at her and asked her to come in.

***************

She opened her eyes and screamed as she heard the roaring storm outside. She knew who she was….and she was in pain. Emotional pain her husband was dead – Dead. She started sobbing as the pictures of her past came to her. She was a widow, she was alone. Why him, she should’ve died not him. God must not love her, she felt neglected. Maybe there was no god. All this time she believed in a higher power and now she was sure there was none. She was interrupted by a nurse coming in to check on her. She looked up at the familiar nurse she had during the night and spoke, “I know who I am, I remember.”

It had been a wonderful night for him. Even though a roaring storm was causing chaos last night, he was too happy in the arms of his love to care. Sarah was back and this time it was for good, because he loved her right? He cleared his mind as he came to the door of the room he wanted to enter. As he walked in he saw her dressed in clothes and the bed made she looked like she was ready to go. “Hey, I just got back from New York last night and so I had to wait to come see you till today.”

“Hey AJ, I am glad to see you so I can say goodbye and thank you for being my friend.” She sighed as she wiped her tear stained eyes.

“What they released you? That’s great!” said AJ as he looked at the young woman and without hesitation hugged her.

When she felt his strong arms wrap around her she felt happy. His cologne invaded her nostrils as she returned the sincere hug. He was too much; he was sweet and a great friend. He had made her feel good during her obscurity. “Yeah, I was released and now I am heading somewhere don’t know where yet. But I am.”

“Hey, don’t you worry I told I could help you till you can remember and even then I got your back,” said AJ as he saw the tears coming down her face again.

“I know who I am. I woke up last night from a nightmare I was having, but it turned out to be the real thing. It was my past, I know who I am.” She said as she wiped her tears again.

“Well that’s great,” said AJ as he handed her a tissue.

“NO, it’s not because I have no one to go to. The one person I could turn to was….Rony and he is dead. I have nobody; god must really hate me! Now that I know who I am all have is this huge dagger in my heart.” She plopped onto the chair as she began to cry more.

“Don’t cry, god does not hate you and you’re not alone what about me? I am serious I want to help you and I want to be your friend. Now come on you can stay with me.” He pulled her up the chair and helped get the few things she had out.

***********

She was in awe, as she looked around the huge house. Something told her AJ was very rich and a shop-aholic…she smiled at the well decorated living room. She was interrupted by AJ clearing his throat. “This house is beautiful AJ.”

Thank you, I am very proud of this house. So I have made some calls and may have you a job.” He smiled as he gave Rose the news. Rose, - she did look like a Rose, she looked tormented. “So are you going to tell me why you think God does not love you?” He sat on the plushy couch as he asked the question.

Could she really trust him? He was so sincere to her and she had to admit she felt some type of attraction toward him. She smiled and spoke, “yeah, I suppose I should tell you but you must tell me more about you.”

“Deal.” He said as he watched her take a seat in one of the other couches.

She sighed and began her story...He listened intently to her, as she told him why she had no one left in this world to go to. He looked at her natural rosy lips open as she spoke, she was different. He liked her, as a friend right?

*********

She was in her room, putting away the clothes she had bought thanks to AJ of course. He had insisted in going shopping for clothes and she agreed as long she would be able to pay him back. She had also tried to get into the bank account her father had for her, but it had been closed. Her father had left her with no money. She sat on the huge bed and just closed her eyes thinking of Rony.
Rony was dead and now she had to find his family and let them know. She had so much to do in the next few days she was glad she had AJ for support. She smiled as she thought of him, AJ what a nice guy. To bad he had a girlfriend, she thought, she could be more than friends with him. She cleared her throat and tried to forget about that, she was a widow and that should not be in her thoughts at the moment right? It was late and she got the craving for a coke, she slowly made it down the stairs and towards the kitchen. She opened the fridge looked at what it contained. She suddenly heard the front door open and shut. She smiled; AJ was back and early usually he came back later than ten o’clock. She quickly grabbed what she wanted and sped to meet AJ.

She smiled as she put the key in her purse; God was Alex going to love this surprise. She had called him and told him she was on her way to his place. But, what she didn’t tell him was that the other night she had taken the extra key and now she would surprise him. She started on her plan; she only had a few minutes before he would arrive. She started by spreading the rose petals on the floor making a trail to his room. She was busy doing this she did not notice a woman staring at her from the hall way.

Rose had stopped in her tracks as she found a woman throwing rose petals on the floor. Without asking she knew who she was, that was Sarah. She stepped back into the dark hallway and watched her walk toward AJ’s room and disappears into it. She slowly walked to the kitchen and sat on a chair as she sighed. She shouldn’t be jealous right? The fact was AJ was just her friend and that’s all but, she had to admit she did feel a little jealous.

Sarah fixed the room with candles, petals and she had bought some ginger ale to drink. She had to get some glasses, she stepped out of the room and walked toward the kitchen and was about to enter when she heard someone trying to open the door. She swiftly made it back toward the door and waited for it to open.

He hurriedly opened the door, he had to beat Sarah and take her somewhere else. He walked in and froze when he saw Sarah standing there with a beautiful smile on her face. “Sarah? How – did you get in?”

“Is that how you greet your girlfriend?” she said as she discarded her robe and let it drop to the floor. She walked to him and gave him a passionate kiss.

So she had not seen Rose, he thanked god for that. He hadn’t told her about Rose and he knew if she found out about her like this it would ruin the chance of rekindling what they had once.

She saw AJ and his girlfriend walk into his room, she felt sad he didn’t even go check on her or at least go up to tell her he was back. She walked back to the kitchen and cleaned the area she had sat in; it was time for her to call it a night. As she threw away the can she felt a tap on her shoulder. She held her breath thinking it was AJ’s girlfriend, but as turned around she saw AJ standing there. She had a lost of words as she saw him, he was in his boxers only. God was he hot. She cleared her throat and whispered a hello.

“Hey, did you just come down? I am sorry didn’t I didn’t get to tell you I was home but, my – girl is here and well you know right?” he gave her a smile as he grabbed two wine glasses.

“Yeah, well good night,” said Rose as she made it to the exit of the kitchen.

“Rose, hang on I want to ask you for a favor? See I haven’t told my girlfriend about you yet and well I don’t want her to see you, until I tell her. You know? I explained to you what happened last time right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry AJ; she won’t know I am here. I will leave early tomorrow and you know take a walk and get to know your neighborhood. I will call you before I come back.” She smiled and walked out of the kitchen.

**************

He sneaked out of his room and made to the guest room where Rose was staying. He tapped the door quietly; when he didn’t receive an answer he knew she was gone. He felt relieved as he went back to his room to get dressed. She was still asleep and she looked beautiful in his shirt. He just felt so happy, Sarah was back and he was going to make sure this time he made it work. He stood there watching her sleep her steady breathing, it was like a dream to him. He smiled as he saw her open her eyes slowly. “Morning dear, sleep well?”

“Better than ever,” she said as she stretched on the huge bed. She looked at him standing there looking at her making her feel more attracted to him. She really did love him; he was just it for her… had she done the right thing? By giving another chance? She smiled at him as she stared back at him.

She hung up the phone quickly as she heard Luisa’s voice. She missed her nana; Luisa was the best nana she could have ever had. Did her father know about the accident but, refused to speak or accept her back? Most likely that was it. She looked around the busy Seven Eleven as she dialed into the payphone one more time. She was doing great till she heard the raspy voice on the other side of the phone speak. She had to struggle with herself to answer back to him. “AJ, it’s me Rose is it ok to go back?”

“Hey, Rose yeah of course. I’ll see you here ok, I have to go I was just about to go into the shower.” He hung up and headed for his room.

She hung up the phone, smiling she left the store and started jogging back to the house. There was definitely something wrong with her, but she felt like it was ok to feel like she did. She wanted to feel guilty all the time but, she couldn’t Rony was now dead for almost three months; there was nothing wrong with thinking her roommate was hot right? She shook her head and again reminded herself that AJ had a girlfriend. She made it to the house in less time because she had run and jogged all the way home. The security people already knew her and just let her into the community of houses.

*********

She quickly drank the cold clear liquid she held in her hand. That’s when she noticed a very clean AJ come into the kitchen dressed casually. “Hey you look good,” she said as she looked at him.

“Thanks, so how was your walk?” he sat on a stool as he grabbed a banana from a fruit basket. He was about to ask her something more when he heard the doorbell, he was about to get up when he heard Rose say she would get it. “Thanks, its Nick you remember him right?”

“Yeah,” said Rose as she walked out the kitchen and left to answer the door. She cleared her throat and opened the door and almost lost her breath when she saw AJ’s girlfriend standing there. “Hi,” she said in a small whisper as she saw the look on her face.

“I’m sorry and who are you?” she did not want to sound rude but, why was she there. AJ wouldn’t do this again would he? She took a deep breath and asked for AJ.

“Just one second let me go get him.” She knew she was blushing with a embarrassment, she was gorgeous no wonder AJ was so close to marrying her and had not forgotten her after their split. She bumped into AJ and slowly whispered, “It wasn’t Nick, it’s your girlfriend.”

“Shit, Shit, Shit,” said AJ as he ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t tell her yet, shoot ok, I can handle this.” With that he walked toward the living room where an impatient Sarah stood.

“Hey,” said AJ as he went to hug his girlfriend. “I thought we were going to meet at the restaurant.”

“Yeah we were but, I forgot my phone in your room so I came back to get it.” She told him with a questionable face. She wanted an explanation right away. Who was that girl and why was she in this house with her boyfriend.

“Well I am glad you’re here, I want you to meet someone.” He turned and called out to Rose. He smiled at the shy Rose that approached them. “Sarah this is Rose Casares, the groups new planner, Rose, this is my girlfriend Sarah.”

She smiled and went along with what AJ told Sarah. Why was he lying? What group was he talking about? She knew he worked in the entertainment business, was he in a group? She felt deception inside, but she realized she shouldn’t after all she was nothing more to AJ than a stranger he helped out and now called her his friend. Friends, that was all she was to him, she shook Sarah’s hand and returned her attention to AJ and what he was going to say next.

“Sorry, I didn’t tell you till now Rose about the job, but I found out last night and well I couldn’t tell you then. See Sarah, Rose has been my roommate since she got out of the hospital. Let me tell you how I met Rose, a good friend of mine now….”

******

She sighed heavily as she sat on the leather couch in the lobby. Today she was going to meet the rest of the group, the rest of the Backstreet boys. She was nervous and she felt nauseous, she had read a lot of articles on them in the internet about their success, so she had the right to feel so nervous. She was more of an eighties girl, so she blamed that to her not knowing them.

She had just come back from Texas, where she gave Rony’s family the bad news. She had considered keeping her husbands ashes, but after seeing how devastating the news was for his parents she agreed that it was better for them to have them. This was no time to think about Rony, she was about to have a job interview with a famous group, it would not be good idea to be crying. She cleared her mind and tried to remember AJ’s suggestions regarding each guy. Just then the door opened and out came AJ.

“Ok, come on they are ready to meet you.” He smiled at her as she made her way toward the room.

Shyly she greeted the other three men in the room; at least she knew one of them. She smiled at Nick, as she shook his hand. Boy did he have some intense eyes; she felt a little flushed as he gave her a smile. She had to admit the few times she had been with Nick she was always laughing, he made her laugh and forget how lonely she felt. She looked away from him, so he wouldn’t freak out or think anything out of it. She didn’t like him like that right? Nope. She answered to herself when she heard the voice that made her stomach fill with butterflies. She shook away the feeling she was having and concentrated on what AJ was telling the other men.

“Ok, so we thought it was only fair that we all meet you and get to know you as well as these two have,” said a sweet Howie.

“Relax we wont bite, well maybe Nick,” said Brian as he looked at her. She looked sweet and after hearing her story from AJ, she had his respect. Something told him Nick was getting a little too infatuated with her. He definitely was feeling something more than friendship for her.

They were exactly like AJ had described them. “Someone is missing though right?” she turned to face AJ questioningly.

“Yeah, Kevin he couldn’t make it his flight got delayed so he is still in New York. But, your not missing our on anything he is so boring, take it from me, I am his cousin. Just kidding he is awesome guy,” he said after he saw the look on her face. He looked at Nick just as he tried to look somewhere else; he smiled and made a note to himself to talk to Nick later.

“I don’t know about all of you but I am hungry!” said Nick as he walked to the door. “Even I would have preferred Pizza.”

The rest of the guys just laughed and AJ explained it to Rose….

She was alone in the big house again, god this house reminded her of the hell hole she had lived in for many years. She wondered where her father was, she had called his house and finally spoke to Luisa.

Luisa told her about her father being to angry with her that he had her room reconstructed and her stuff thrown away. He even had his lawyer come and go over the will, Luisa didn’t know what he had changed but she was sure he had cut her off the will. “Oh, honey he is very angry at you, I don’t think he will forgive you. He is so mad he left to Europe and did not give me a date on his return.” She wiped her tears and sighed, god she wished her mother was alive. She was lonely her father had disowned her.

She finally made it to the big pool and with out hesitation stripped down to her bathing suit. “AJ said I was welcome to do what I want so I will,” she said as she took a dive into the pool.

The cold water made her feel alive; she swam with no care in the world. She used to be in the swimming team in high school and had actually won in some occasions. Finally she felt wrinkly enough and decided to sit in the room for awhile. She grabbed her towel, ipod and took a seat in one of the chairs. She turned the ipod on with all the volume it gave; she closed her eyes for just a little bit. But, she was so tired apparently; she fell into a deep sleep.

“I won’t take long; just let me change into something more suitable for this occasion. Cause I will be whooping you’re ass!” yelled AJ as he disappeared into his room.

“Yeah sure you will AJ,” said Nick as he took a seat in the living room. He started humming to himself, he hated to wait for to long. He sighed and yelled out to AJ, “Yo, AJ I am going to grab a drink ok?” he didn’t even wait for his answer he was already up and walking toward the kitchen.

He grabbed a bottle of water and started to walk out the kitchen. He saw the door that led to the pool was open, he decided to just take a look water was his element. As he made it in he distinctly heard music playing not loud but he could still recognize the song. Lithium, from Nirvana nice he thought as he saw Rose on one of the chairs. He walked toward her and spoke, “You have a good taste in music.” He giggled as he saw that she was fast asleep with the music was merely a lullaby for her.

She looked hot in the white bathing suit. She was still wet, and her skin still had water drops. He felt a lump in his throat as he saw her; he didn’t quite understand what was happening to him. He just couldn’t help staring at her; she was just so enticing to him. He suddenly felt so thirsty he unscrewed the cap from his bottle and drank the complete bottle. “I wonder how she would look with a two piece,” he whispered to no one in particular.

He grabbed his keys and called out to Nick. He looked in the kitchen for him but he was no where to be found. He saw the pool door ajar and put one in one together. He walked through and there stood Nick looking at Rose. “Dude, what are you doing?”

He felt his face turn red when he heard AJ just behind him. He cleared his throat and just walked back into the house. He knew AJ was right behind him and he was making fun of him. “Look, she’s pretty ok, now let’s just forget about it and get this pool game over with.” He hoped that his words would work but, knowing AJ it wouldn’t.

“Sure, we can but I just have one thing to say, it seems like someone else has the crush on her” he smiled with satisfaction.

**********

Whoosh! The ball went right through the hoop making Nick very happy. He had been at the court all afternoon; he needed to clear his head. He needed to get something straight he could not feel anything for Rose. She was in mourning right? She had so much to get through with, after loosing her husband. He was sure she was not looking for romance right now, she just needed support, friendly support right? There was something about her though, he didn’t know what but something about her really attracted him. He sighed heavily and called it a day.

He would have to wait and see how things went. Besides he could handle being near her and not show his interest in her right? “Piece of cake” he said out loud to reassure himself. God this was going to be one long and hard tour.

*********

“Wow, this was the best Mexican food I’ve had. So you know how to cook really well, what else can you do Miss Rose,” he asked the petite woman that sat beside him.

“Well, I can draw with ink and water colors. I used to do that a lot with mother; she was the most amazing artist ever. Then just like that, god took her away from me…” her faced turned to a sad expression.

He felt a lump form in his throat, but what could he do? He instinctively hugged her and just let her recline on him. The sudden silence was awkward to him, but he knew it was the best for her at the moment. He held her in a friendly embrace; somehow it felt right for him to want to make her feel loved.

She inhaled his smell, so masculine. She shivered inside as she realized that she had fallen for a man that was not available. AJ was so enticing and his grip on her only made her realize she wanted him. She only met him three months ago and not in the best situation, now here she was falling for him.

Her guardian angel, she could’ve died just like Rony, but her angel protected her. She knew she should stop her thoughts; AJ did not want her like that. She cleared her throat and broke away from his grip, with a shy smile. “I am so sorry AJ; I’m just a wreck lately. Thanks for the hug I needed that.” She quickly and swiftly got up and starting cleaning up the area they had used. She had to do get away from him if not she would have committed something she would regret later.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for,” he told her as he got up and tried to help her. Only to be stopped and told to sit back down. He watched her closely as she threw away the leftovers and moved around the kitchen swiftly. She was cute, of course he had always seen that but, now he was starting to see other things about her that were an asset to her personality.

She was short but it fit her quirky and emotional life. Her plump pink lips and her big eyes just made her face very admirable. She oozed with the girl next door vibe, a true good friend. He suddenly caught himself and realized he was staring too hard and that was not good. She was just a good friend and besides he loved Sarah. Sarah, good idea he needed to get out of the kitchen. “Thanks, for dinner again, I just remembered I was supposed to call Sarah, so I will talk to you later ok? Hey and make yourself at home.”

She saw him leave and felt her heart sink. Was she imagining or was he checking her out? She sighed and continued on with her task at the moment.

********

She was sitting in the patio, admiring the beautiful night. California was gorgeous, she loved the breeze and the ocean was just the best.

He watched her from inside, he felt for her she had lost everything. Her story was a true genuine love story, the only problem it ended with a sad ending. He slowly walked out to and smiled as she turned around. “Hey do you mind?” he said as he showed her his cigarette in hand.

“No, its fine” she said as she smiled at him. He had on a wife beater and boxers and looked groggy. He must have been asleep; she felt her stomach flutter as he sat right beside her. She watched him carefully as he slowly devoured the cancer stick. Usually she would’ve of mind, but now she just did not care.

“Did I tell you, Sarah will join us for a few weeks on tour.” he asked as he finished his smoke.

“NO, but it’s nice, you will have more time with her.” She said more like it was a bad idea than a good one. She did not want to see them together; it only made her more jealous. She didn’t want to feel like that but that feeling just kept coming in every time she saw them together. She was now more than willing to ride along with the tour manager; she could not be in the same bus as AJ and Sarah. She quickly started to plot in her head how she could do it. It was the best for both right?

“I hope you two can be good friends.” He smiled at her and when he saw her smile back he felt a hole right in the pit of his stomach. He quickly looked away and tried to find explanation to his feeling. He finally came up with a lame excuse and went with it. He took a deep breath and faced her again. “So, I think we should get you a new look for your new job. Something more edgy.”

“What do you mean? I don’t know how to dress? I think I look fine the way I am.” she pretended to be offended. She stood up and twirled around showing off her PJ’s.

“N…no not at all, I just think you should do a little change though,” he noticed his palms were sweating as he told her that. He smiled at her as she trotted around the patio in her PJ’s like she was on Project Runway.

She took a seat next to him again and sighed. “I guess it would be nice to get a new look, maybe a new hairstyle?” she looked at him questionably.

“Yeah definitely I can get my hairstylist to do one for you.” He got up and turned around to look at her one more time. “I will make an appointment for you. Now I got to get back to bed I have a big and long day tomorrow.”

She watched him disappear into his house. He was so hot he oozed sexuality, she sighed as she caught herself drooling. “I don’t know if I can do this.” She said to no one in specific. Oh, yeah Rose Marie McDonalds was falling head over heels for this man. She had to make sure she did not spend so much time around him, maybe if she did that she could get him out of her head.

“Good morning,” said AJ as he saw Rose up and around the kitchen.

“Good morning,” she told him as she handed him a glass of orange juice. “So today is a big day isn’t it. I mean we will be leaving on tour, are you nervous?”

“No this normal to me,” he said as he put his glass down on the kitchen counter. “I have to go, I told Sarah I would help her pack. I will arrange a cab to come pick you up and take you to the airport, you have everything ready right?”

“Well, yeah I am just waiting on the stylist. Uh, AJ I actually made plans with Nick. He is going to pick me up and I will ride with him to the airport. So you don’t have to worry about getting me a cab.” She smiled at him as she spread the jelly on the bread.

“Oh, ok well then it’s settled, I will see you at the airport then. Josie my stylist will be here in exactly an hour, I told her she had to be here early. She knows you are leaving with us on tour. Oh, and be careful she’s quite fond of women if you know what I mean.” He raised his eyebrows at her and with that he left laughing lightly at the startled look on Rose.

*********

She waited patiently for Nick; he told her he was on his way. She looked at herself on the mirror again, she saw someone so different to what she knew. Josie was truly a good stylist; she made her feel more confident about her new life post Rony and her father. She was in her own little world thinking about her life, when she heard the doorbell. She sighed and went to get the door.

He had been outside the door for over five minutes just trying to figure out how he would greet her. Finally he had rang the doorbell and patiently waited for her to open. She had called him a few days ago asking him how she could arrange to ride along with management instead of AJ on tour.

She had explained to him that Sarah was going to be going on tour with AJ for a few weeks and she didn’t want to be the third wheel. He was going to help her out and talk to Johnny about it, but he instead told her she could ride with him in his bus. She did sound hesitant at first but she finally had agreed. He heard the door open and there stood Rose smiling. She looked hot, she had a new look and it fit her. “Wow, you look good,” he finally got out from his mouth.

“Thanks I was a little concerned about, it is very different to what I get.” She smiled at him and shook his hand. “So, how are you?”

“Good, I am ready to go on tour. I have missed this part of my career. And then we get to start our tour in my hometown even better!” he said as he went into the house.

She giggled at his excitement for this tour. “I am glad you’re so excited, would you like something to drink?”

“Nah, we actually should get going.” He told her as he stared at the two suitcases that stood right by the door.

“Oh, ok well let’s go.” She grabbed a smaller bag and grabbed one of her suitcases in the other hand. “Would you help me with the other suitcase please?”

“No problem,” he said and got the one suitcase, he then took the one she had away from her. He carried both suitcases out to the car.

She made sure everything was off in the house and walked out locking the door as she walked out. This was going to be a fun job right? She hoped so; she sighed and hopped in the car.

*******

“So is Nick here already?” AJ asked as he and Sarah walked to the waiting area where Brian and Howie already sat.

“No, not yet,” said Howie as he turned to face his friend. He winked at his friend and then started to laugh with Brian as they figured out what had happened and why they had gotten there late.

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” he raised his eyebrows at his friends. As he realized that they had put one on one together on his tardiness.

“Complaining about what?” she asked as she stood beside AJ. Sarah pretended to not understand but lately she couldn’t keep him off her, but she too wasn’t complaining. She was happy again, she loved him. She winked at her boyfriend as she intertwined her hand in his.

Brian cleared his throat and spoke, “Nothing, its just tour stuff that’s all.” God he wished his wife could be on tour with him. He was going to miss her and his son; the good thing was they would join him in a few weeks. He smiled at the couple, he was glad AJ got another opportunity with Sarah she was a great gal.

Howie stared at her carefully; something told him she was back just to make him pay for what he had done to her. She was good though, apparently he was the only one who saw it that way. God, he hoped it was just him but, something told him to keep an eye on Sarah though. She looked genuine but, her eyes deep inside her eyes he saw revenge…he quickly moved his stare to Nick who was walking in with a woman by his side, a good looking woman to be exact.

******

She squeezed her eyes shut to the point where she felt pain, she hated the lift off. She hated planes but, it was not like she couldn’t handle it though. She was used to flying all the time, when she was younger she would always go to Paris with her mother for the summer. Italy in Christmas and she loved those days, the days when her father was a normal one. When all he cared was to make his wife happy, her father, she wondered what he was doing at that exact moment.

She loved her father, but he had morphed into a greedy old man. He had lost his warmth and love for what other people felt including her. He had come so low, that he had disowned his only daughter, her. She took a deep breath and tried to think of something more pleasant, like her childhood. She still didn’t want to open her eyes just yet, she would just not yet.

He watched her from the corner of his eye, she had her eyes shut and looked like she wasn’t enjoying her flight. Man Josie had done an excellent job, Rose looked hot, not that she wasn’t before. Was Nick pursuing her? Not that it mattered; it would actually be cool right? He was a great guy for her, especially with all that she had been through; she needed to get over Rony and all the issues with her father.

He wanted to tell her how good she looked, but she had been so distant from him at the airport. It almost felt like she was avoiding him? Why? He felt a familiar touch on his leg and turned to face a happy Sarah sitting right beside him. He would have to talk to her; maybe he accidentally had hurt her feelings. He turned his attention to his woman, yeah his beautiful woman.

She felt his stare on her; she knew she was a little cold with him. But, she had to in order to survive this chaos that she had gotten herself into. She was falling for AJ, even though all he had offered her was friendship. She didn’t know if it was because he was the only she had known for two months when she didn’t know who she was. She felt attached to him and she knew it was not right he was happily in love and she? She had no one; Rony had left her to fend for herself.

He was just different; he was like Rony in a way. She had finally opened her eyes and was much more confidant, she just had to stay busy thinking of things. God she hoped that when she told him she would be riding with Nick instead of him and Sarah he didn’t ask to much details. She didn’t want to tell him anymore lies. She looked at the front row and there was Nick peacefully asleep, his lips were in a smile. She smiled at him and wondered what he was dreaming.

Nick was such a goof ball, but she had to admit she liked him he was a great friend. She knew she was going to have a blast with him; he was not the kind to be bored. She needed this wild, crazy, and impulsive infusion from him, she needed to get all her pain away. Erase all the events from the past and just keep the beautiful memory of Rony her husband.

She touched the ring on her left hand, it was simple and small but it meant the world to her. Rony had bought it with his hard owned money; she smiled as she remembered that day when they arrived in Las Vegas. “I will get you a bigger one; with the most beautiful diamond I can find I promise you that!” She didn’t need a bigger diamond she wanted him back. She wanted to wake up and find herself in Rony’s hands. She realized she was crying when she felt a teardrop on her hand. She wiped her eyes and tried to think of something happier.

******

He looked closer and heard her steady breathing. He smiled at the beauty beside him, but he had to talk to Rose so after he double checked that she was asleep he stood up. He sat beside her, put his hand over hers. She was intently looking at the floor, probably deep in her thoughts. “A penny for your thoughts,” he said as he smiled at her.

She had seen him stand up from the corner of her eye; she had just hoped it was because he was going to the men’s room. But, she didn’t have such luck he sat right beside her, putting his hand on top of hers. She smiled as she heard him talk. “Nah, I don’t think so they are worth much more than that.” She switched her body in the seat to face him and so cautiously moved her hand away from his.

“I have money so tell me the price.” He said as he stared at her, he knew she had been crying.

“Sorry but my thoughts are not for sale,” she smiled at him and then she cleared her throat. “But, I do have something to tell you. I have decided to ride with Nick for now; I know you and Sarah need your space. I already spoke to him and he is ok with it. I just don’t want to feel guilty for not letting you enjoy the time you have free with Sarah. I mean for god sakes I have found out it is rare to find such time.” She finally took a breath; she had to say it all fast so she wouldn’t chicken out.

What? He was in loss of words; she was going to be in the same bus with Nick. He felt mad and felt betrayed somehow. She was his Rose, he had found her not Nick. But, he knew it was for the best that she did, she was right she was going to be the third wheel if she did stay with him. He just made a mental note to speak to his buddy Nick later. She just wasn’t ready for any romancing. “Hey, I totally understand its cool.” He smiled at her and gave a warm hug.

She returned the hug and felt better somewhat anyway. He was so nice to her and she had no right in ruining his dream, which was Sarah. She let go of him and pulled herself away gently, “I knew you would understand, AJ. Ever since the first day I met you back in the hospital, I was so hysterical and scared because I didn’t know who I was. But, you knew the exact words to say that I for a second felt safe.” She gave his hand a squeeze, as she stared at him.

His eyes were so warm and said so much, he sincerely did care for her. She just wished she could see in them a different kind of care, a romantically one. She couldn’t help the feeling she got when she saw his lips, they were so tempting and she wanted to so badly kiss them. She quickly kissed him on the cheek and smiled at him, “thanks for everything AJ, I don’t know how I am ever going to pay you back for it all. You are my guardian angel, you saved my life.” She stood up, excused herself and ran to the restroom. Panting for air she closed the door to the small restroom, and quickly splashed water onto her face.

He felt her soft lips on his face and he couldn’t help the feeling he was having. It was something different from anything he ever felt. There he was sitting alone just holding to the feeling he had after that sincere and sweet kiss on his cheek. He couldn’t stop his head from thinking, how it would have felt had she kissed him on the lips. No, she would never do that she was not like that, besides he was just her friend. He loved Sarah anyway; yeah he was just caught off guard that’s all. He got up and walked back to his chair by Sarah.

The first concert was horrible she was running around, making errands for the management. She finally got a chance to breath, “I thought my job was to make sure the guys knew where they were suppose to be, take care of their schedule.” She said to no one in particular she leaned against a wall and closed her eyes for a few seconds.

“Well that’s your title but, you’re the new girl, so you are getting tested by management. See if you can handle the pressure, eventually you will only schedule us and get a coffee here and there.” He smiled at her as he saw that he had surprised her. “Sorry didn’t mean to catch you off guard.”

She smiled at Nick, “its ok, do you need anything?” she asked.

“No not really, well maybe I do. Do you want to join me after this whole mess for a drink at this really cool club? I know the owner; he’s a good friend of mine and AJ’s. We can drink and dance,” he gave her wide grin.

She hadn’t done that in a long time, she knew it was better to say no, but she couldn’t say that to Nick. “Ok, but I have to warn you though I haven’t danced in a long time, and it’s been even longer since I actually had a drink.”

“Hey, don’t worry you got the best teacher to teach you how to dance.” He said proudly and mocked some ballet moves for her.

“Oh, my I think you need to go on Dancing with Stars so you can get some lessons.” She laughed at Nicks moves.

He was about to return her comment with one of his own when he heard Johnny screaming Rose’s name at the top of his lungs. “I am guessing you are needed, so I will see you after the meet and greet. Don’t forget your going with me, oh and dress to impress,” he winked at her and made his way to the dressing rooms.

“Ok, I will. I’m coming she yelled back to Johnny.”

******

“Hey, Nick can I speak to you for a sec.?” said AJ as he saw him walk into the dressing rooms

“Yeah, just let me change real quick, if not management will kill me for not being ready.” He smiled at his friend; only to see a slight flash of anger from him. Why was AJ mad? Wasn’t he doing him a favor by taking Rose with him? He got to be with Sarah alone for almost a whole month. He should be thanking him right? Or maybe he was imaging what he saw. He shrugged it off and quickly changed, so he could get this over with.

AJ watched Nick run into his room and he waited patiently outside his door for him. He wanted to talk to him alone and for that he preferred his room. He saw Nick’s door open and quickly pushed him back in, closing the door behind him.

“What, was all that about,” asked Nick as he looked at his friend.

“I just don’t want anyone to listen in. Look I just want to warn you, don’t hurt Rose. She needs time Nick, just be a good friend. Don’t rush things, be patient.” He cautiously said as he took a seat on a chair.

He couldn’t hold it and started laughing. “What are you talking about? Rose is my friend and yeah I may think she is hot. But, I would never do anything she doesn’t want to do. Dude what is up with you; you should know me by now. Are you Jealous?” he asked as he cautiously looked at him straight in the eyes. “Oh, my god you are jealous.”

“NO, I…am not – ok maybe I am but not because you like her, I just think she was my friend first. Now she only wants to hang around you and well that kind of made me mad.” He answered to Nick’s question.

“AJ, she is your friend, she is always talking about how great you are and how you saved her life. She is very grateful for what you did for her; she will never stop being your friend. She doesn’t want to be the third wheel while Sarah is on tour with you. Now the truth is I really like her and when I think she ready to date I will definitely ask her out. She needs to start new and forget about her husband. But, trust me I won’t do it till I know its ok, right now I am just being a friend to her.” He patted AJ’s shoulder as he stood up.

“Ok, I trust you,” said AJ as he opened the door to the dressing room. “Now let’s go meet the fans,” he smiled at his friend and walked out. He friend was right and he was stupid for thinking wrong about him. Then why was he still feeling mad about the situation?

********

She put on her shoes and looked at herself in the mirror, she looked good. The black dress she had chosen was good, it was black just like her soul felt at the moment. Or at least most of her soul did. She applied some lip gloss on her lips and with that she was ready. She was really liking her new hair the auburn red was just nice. She was looking at herself on the mirror when she heard a light knock on his door, thinking it was Nick she went to answer.

“AJ,” she said as she saw him in front of her.

“Hey, wow you look good,” he said as he made his way inside her room. “I just wanted to stop by your room and just see if everything was ok.” He said as he stared at her in awe.

“Yeah, everything is great. I was just going to go actually, Nick invited me to join him at this Club.” She started to blush as she told him.

“Oh, well that’s great. I think I know where he’s taking you. I should go then so you can finish getting ready.

“Oh, its ok I am done.” She smiled proudly as she saw him stare at her.

“Good because you look good like that, you don’t need anything more,” he said as he twirled her around. She was gorgeous and her hair just fit her perfectly. He had the urge to touch her face and he did by pulling a strand of her hair to the back of her ear. He tried to come with an excuse as he saw Rose’s face of surprise. “I just think it looks better like that.”

She was feeling a little dizzy as she felt his touch on her face. His touch was electrifying and she was having trouble breathing. She smiled as she heard him tell her she looked better like that. “Thank you for you advice,” she told him. She then took off his sunglasses and spoke, “and you look better like that.” His brown eyes penetrated hers and she felt shivers on her spine.

He needed to leave, “I have to go, but, have fun. Nick knows how to have fun, I showed him how.” He went for a quick hug.

She closed her eyes as she gave him the hug. His arms were so strong, “Ok, I will,” she answered. He wouldn’t let go of her though, he held her in his arms. She finally pulled herself away and looked at him straight in the eyes.

He stared at her and for what seemed forever they just stared at each other. He didn’t know what was happening but he leaned in and kissed her.

She closed her eyes as she felt his lips on hers, it was a peck only but she grabbed his face and deepened the kiss. To her surprise he accepted and that was all she remembered before she felt fireworks in her stomach. He was a good kisser and he just made her feel like fire.

What was happening, what was he doing? He just couldn’t help it, he was enjoying this kiss. Finally he realized it wasn’t right, Sarah’s face came in his head. He pulled himself away and looked at her with embarrassment. “I’m sorry I – don’t know what happened I am so sorry,” with that he walked out of her room. Leaving her standing there looking at him leave, he felt horrible what had he done?

*******

On the ride to the club she had been very quiet and now here in the club she had been drinking like crazy nothing to strong but she was mixing her drinks. He could tell she was having too much fun and she was inevitably drunk. Something told him, that something had happened to her right before he arrived to her room. He shrugged it off and joined Rose to the dance floor, he was with her that’s all that matter.

She had forgotten how good Appletini’s tasted. She finished her martini and ordered another; she was in pain why had AJ kissed her and then leave her there with so many questions. Was he just playing with her? He apparently must’ve remembered about Sarah, he all of sudden pulled away and ran like he had seen a ghost. Maybe it was just a mistake, for him and she should let it go but the truth was she loved him. She suddenly felt someone behind her and turned to find Nick dance behind her. She pushed aside her thoughts just started to dance. God, she loved New York City it was an amazing City to bad they would head out to the next City tomorrow.

He was crazy or something but he had seen the looks Sarah was giving him since… she had arrived. Something told him she had something up her sleeve and he was going to find out. He opened the door to his hotel room and there stood Sarah smiling at him.

“Hi, can I talk to you Howie?” she asked him in the sweetest voice ever.

“What’s the matter Sarah?” he asked in an annoyed toned. He saw her stare it was very uncomfortable and he didn’t like it.

“Well I would like to know what your problem is? I see the way you look at me… I don’t know what is the matter with you. I demand an explanation,” she said as she stood up and walked up to him.

Howie shrugged his shoulders, “I just don’t believe all this crap. You were pretty devastated with AJ and all of a sudden you’re back saying that you want to be with him again its crap.” Howie said.

“I was devastated Howie but I do love him and never really stopped loving him. How dare you think all this is not real your insulting me!” Sarah said raising her hand and was about to slap him when he took a hold of her hand. She was surprised, but again she raised her left hand only to have him grab it too.

“No you don’t” Howie said smiling at her. “I am merely giving my point of view. Not everyone has to agree with AJ’s decision to take you back. I know there is more to this and until I can get proof that I am wrong I will continue to believe it.” He let go of her and turned to open the door. “Now get out of my room.”

“You bastard,” Sarah said launching herself at him hitting him.

“What in the world is your problem?” Howie said annoyed yet laughing at her stupid tantrum.

“You don’t know me,” she told him as she continued to hit him. She was so angry and for an instant wanted to kill him. She did love AJ and maybe he had every right to think what he did but she was not going to leave him this time.

Howie grabbed her and pinned her down. “Look relax ok. You don’t need my approval so stop sweating it.” He stood up and cleared his throat.

“I can’t believe you!” she said as she stood up and went to hit him again. She was angry and before she knew what she was doing she crashed her lips to his.

Howie was startled as he felt her lips on his. His first reaction was to push her away and he did but this girl was something else. She clung to him and before he knew it he had surrendered to her kiss.

********

He had lied to Sarah and here he was room 205. He knocked softly and waited patiently for the door to open. Two weeks ago he had kissed her and since then he had avoided her like a disease. It looked like she was ok with it too. Why wasn’t she answering her door? He knocked a second time more loudly.

She stepped out of the restroom and heard a knock on her door. She told Nick she wanted to explore the town on her own today. Was he going to persist again? “Nick, I really can’t join you toda…” she shut up as she saw AJ standing there. She walked away and left the door open for him to come in.

“Uh, Rose I wanted to talk to you. Give you an explanation for my slip in New York. I will understand if you don’t want to hear me or if you never want to speak to me again.” He said as he looked at her again, he had not noticed she was only wearing a bath rob. She was barefoot and her hair was wet, but she was still cute.

He had gone through that situation in his head for over a week and he just couldn’t explain the attraction he had for her. She was young and gorgeous. She was funny and poised. She still had that innocent look in the outside, yet when you looked into her eyes you could see the wild and controversial side. She was an amazing cook and a great listener. She was Rose one of a kind. She was what his dream girl would be like, except it was suppose to stay in his dreams. He loved Sarah and his intentions were to be with her forever. Sarah was the woman; she was sweet and knew exactly how to please him. She was hot and dominant most of the time. She was a wild exotic animal and her voice was just divine. She knew him like the palm of her hand. Familiarity was good and that’s why he loved her.

“Look AJ I am not asking for an explanation ok,” she said as she brushed her hair.

“I know but I must. I love Sarah with all my heart and I love you but, not like that. You are my friend and my roomy. I don’t know what got to me, well I do, I mean you’re hot, super hot and well I just couldn’t resist your lips. I am sorry and I know you might hate me for it. It won’t happen again, but I need your friendship. I need you to be my friend and confidant for as long as I live. I want to be your friend and your confidant too.” He looked at her and saw the tears forming in her eyes.

He was just so romantic, she had to take a seat on a chair due to all he had said, and she felt weak in the legs. She wiped her eyes and even though she wished he would say he loved her as more than friends, she understood him. Sarah was his first true love – just like Rony was her first true love. He would always have a special place in her heart. The only difference was she had lost her first love and now she had fallen again for him for Alex. He was not available for her though he still had his first love…she smiled and spoke, “I understand and I guess I too wanted to see if you were a good kisser.” She started to laugh, trying to lighten the situation. She cared enough for him to pretend like she really didn’t feel anything more than friendship and gratitude toward him.

He laughed at what she said; she was such a great girl. That’s the kind of stuff that made her unique, she understood him. It was just a very weird moment that they both could forget about and continue to have a great friendship.

********

“To life for giving me another chance and live,” Rose said as she downed her tequila shot.

“Man your pretty wasted Rose,” Nick said laughing at her.

“I am not just a little bit,” she told him as she looked around the busy club. “Want to dance?”

“Ok,” Nick said as he took her hand and guided her to dance the floor. “Where’s everyone else?” she asked as she began to dance.

“They are around here, maybe not AJ and Sarah…” he said as he looked around.

“We should go,” Sarah told AJ as she took a seat next to him. “I am ready to go,” she whispered into his ear.

“I am not,” AJ said taking another sip of his water.

“Well I’m heading out,” Howie said as he looked down onto the dance floor catching Nick and Rose dancing. “At least Nick is having fun,” he said as he patted AJ’s shoulder.

“Hey Sarah why don’t you head out with Howie. I’ll just stick around for a little bit more. I’ll see you in a little bit. You don’t mind do you Howie?” AJ asked as he looked at the couple dancing on the dance floor.

“Are you sure?” Howie asked. He had been trying to avoid her since that incident and now here he was about to leave with her.

“I’ll just wait for you,” Sarah said looking at Howie with a smirk.

“I’m fine just go babe your tired and I’ll see you in a little bit.” AJ said patting her leg.

“Ok,” Sarah said leaning in to give him a kiss.

Howie rolled his eyes, “I’ll wait for you in the car,” he said walking away.

“I’ll see you,” Sarah told AJ as she walked away.

The song finished so he finally made it to where Nick and Rose were sitting. “You two are having fun,” he told him as he took a seat.

“Yeah,” Rose said laughing.

“Crap I have to go the Lou… I’ll be right back.” Nick said as he left.

“Where’s everyone else?” Rose asked as she looked at AJ.

“They left already.” AJ said looking at Rose in the state she was. “You’re in for a big hangover tomorrow.”

“I’m not that drunk,” she told him. “Fine no more drinks only water.”

“So you and Nick are getting along quite well.”

“He’s a great guy, I can never be bored with him around.” Rose said as she jumped of her chair and looked at AJ. “lets dance this is my song,” she said pulling him to the dance floor.

“You sure are drunk,” AJ said laughing at her as they began to dance. Why was he doing this? He knew it was not a good idea to be this close to her and not want to do more with her. He knew he should be with Sarah right now especially knowing she soon would be leaving the tour.

***********

Soon Sarah would be leaving and heading back to California. She was devastated and didn’t know how to explain what had happened. She couldn’t stop thinking about him – he was in her head and she couldn’t control her feelings. Everything she had planned had gone awry. She checked again to make sure he was asleep and sure enough he was gone. She slowly and quietly left the room she shared with AJ and walked to another one.

How could this have happened? He was supposed to take care of AJ not ruin him. He was in big problems, but how could he help it. He was falling in love with his best friend’s girl. He heard the knock on his door and ran to open it.

As soon as he opened the door she ran in and shut the door. She ran into his arms and gave him a kiss. Which he gladly returned, she wasn’t suppose to feel like she did but, Howie was so sweet. She knew deep inside this was killing Howie and she didn’t know how to make it better for him. “I am going to miss you so much,” she said between kisses.

“Don’t leave,” he said as he caressed her neck. He needed her with him.

“I don’t want to, but I don’t think I can stand another night with Alex,” she told him. “Unless we tell him, I know he will understand,” she looked at him questioningly.

“NO – not yet I don’t think I can face him yet. He’s like my brother Sarah and this will hurt him, he still loves you. You are his everything; we are just going to have to keep seeing each other in secret. We will call each other every night and will figure it out. Just give me time to confront AJ.” With that he grabbed her and kissed her passionately.

“Las Vegas here we go!” said an excited Nick as he took a seat on the couch.

“Did I tell you how much I love this bus? It’s so comfortable and spacious it almost doesn’t feel like a bus.” With that she put the popcorn in a bowl and went to sit with Nick.

“Yeah, it’s nice but I still love my home better. So what movie are we watching?” he asked as he grabbed the DVD’s she had chosen from where she had put them. “Gone with the Wind, you’re kidding right?”

“NO, have you ever seen it?” she asked him as she took it away from his hands.

He was mute and started thinking, “I guess not but it looks boring!” He looked at the other option she had brought out. “I think I prefer this one,” he said as he waived Wedding Date in front of her, “it’s shorter and looks more interesting.”

“Ok fine, but you will have to sit down with me one of these days and watch Gone with the Wind,” she hit him playfully on his leg. “It’s actually really good,” she went ahead and put the DVD player to work.

He watched her every move, all these weeks he had so much fun. Rose was an amazing woman he really loved her company. He didn’t know how to ask her to stay with him and not leave him for AJ’s bus. If true be told these past weeks with her had made him realize, he had fallen in love with this woman. He smiled as he saw her put some popcorn in her mouth. He listened to the movie and the noise from the bus riding along the road.

She had to admit she was feeling some attraction toward Nick. She also noticed the way he looked at her, he was sexy and fun. But he wasn’t AJ; he was more like a good friend. Yeah he was hot, he had his charm and once in a while she felt like kissing him. But, AJ had her heart, AJ; she was now going to be able to ride along with him Sarah would leave the tour. She was hesitant though and she would have to think about it hard, she didn’t want to do something she would later regret. She suddenly felt hot and the need to get away from Nicks side. “I’m thirsty you want something to drink?”

“Yeah sure, a coke would be nice.” He smiled as she left, was it him or was she blushing? He needed to make a move; something told him it was the right time. She had told him she was having a blast with him. She returned with two cokes in hand. She handed him one and he delicately took it away from her hand, he then grabbed her hand and pulled her on top of him.

She was caught off guard and was now top of Nick. Even though she knew she should get away she couldn’t his blue eyes were so irresistible. She let him touch her face and then he pulled her face to his. His kiss was soft and caring, she didn’t know what got to her but she returned his kiss and she let go of all her worries, she tried to enjoy the kiss.

*********

He looked at her sleeping on his arm; he was also wondering how they were able to fit in the bunk. Man she was everything he had expected. So were they an item now? He hoped so, that would make him the happiest person alive. He kissed her bare shoulder blade, “Good morning Rose,” he said as he saw her open her eyes slightly.

She felt his lips on her and she opened her eyes, she smiled as she heard him greet her. “Good morning,” she said as turned to him. “Are we there yet?” she asked him.

“We should be arriving soon,” he answered and kissed her forehead. She was gorgeous even after just waking up.

“What time is it?” she asked him as she sat up. She was well conscious of what had happened. But, she wasn’t complaining it was an amazing night with Nick, he was such a gentleman. After this though, what was next? She liked him a lot she did, but she kept thinking of AJ. The feelings for AJ were stronger. Was she even ready to move on? She had to admit that she felt good, he was giving her attention. He had given her affection and made her feel wanted, something she needed after loosing… Rony. Maybe she should give this a try, she was sure there was no chance of ever having an opportunity with who she really wanted. She could love him, he was nice and cute. He was a gentleman and he liked her, it could work.

“It’s only five in the morning,” he said as he kissed her neck. He just couldn’t believe he was with her, “we should go to sleep again, god knows we both need the rest,” he said.

She giggled as he kissed her neck and shoulders. “Well if you keep doing that it will be hard to get some sleep,” she said as she stopped him. He faced her and just stared at her brown eyes, she traced his lips with her finger. “Nick, what does this to our relationship?”

“It only makes it better,” he said as he kissed her finger. He grabbed her hand put on his chest, “you feel my heart?” He smiled as he saw her nod, “well that is the effect you have on me, since he first time I saw you at the hospital. I am attracted to you and I would love for you to be my girlfriend.” He kissed her lips feverishly.

He liked her; she smiled inside as she heard him. He was so sweet; yeah he could help her forget about AJ. She kissed him and spoke, “Ok, we can give it a try, it will be hard because I have bad luck in love…” she was stopped by his finger on her mouth.

“It’s not going to happen again Rose, I promise you that.” He kissed her again.

**********

AJ threw himself on the huge bed and closed his eyes. He sighed with relief, Sarah was on her way home and now he could get his mind straightened out. He would also be joined by Rose on his bus; he was actually looking forward to it. He had noticed the fun Nick and her were having together, he also wanted that.

It was early and he could use a smoke, maybe even breakfast. He walked out of his suite and walked down the hall. “Hey Howie, wait up,” he yelled as he saw Howie walking into the elevator.

He closed his eyes as he heard his friend call for him. He couldn’t handle this right now, but it was too late. He felt the pat on his back from AJ. “Hey you’re awake early,” he smiled to his friend.

“I have no comment about it,” said AJ as he smiled back.

***********

“I guess your right; we will keep it between us for now and – the guys. They have to know babe.” He smiled at her as he saw the face she made after hearing him.

“Its just I don’t want to make you get to emotionally attached and excited, Nick. What if it doesn’t work out?” she asked him as they walked down to the breakfast table.

“It will, don’t worry we will explain it to them. If you’re worried about what they will think about you don’t worry. They will be very happy for you and me.” He gave her a smile and he stared at her with his beautiful blue eyes.

She sighed and could not argue no more, if he only knew that she just didn’t want AJ to know. She started walking and felt Nick’s hand intertwine with hers. She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze; yeah she could make this work.

Her confidence turned into squash as she saw AJ sitting at the table with the rest of the guys. She wanted to run the other way and never come back. She saw him drink his tea and laugh at whatever Brian was saying. She was literally being dragged by Nick who was holding on to her hand.

“Good Morning people,” said a happy Nick. He on propose showed off his hand intertwined with Rose’s. He wanted the whole world to know, but he had promised Rose he would take it slow.

Everyone grew silent as they saw Nick and Rose holding hands. Finally, Brian cleared his throat and smiled, “Good Morning.”

“SO do you have something to tell us?” asked Kevin as he looked at him. It was obvious but, he had to reassure himself, because if he was correct Rose definitely had the hot’s for AJ. She might have fooled everyone else, but he had seen right through her, she had fallen in love with her “guardian Angel.”

********

She looked out of the balcony, at the wonderful lighted city. Las Vegas, where she had married Rony only three months ago and now here she was again, without him. She must’ve been in her own little world for a while, because she had not noticed the knock on her door. She unwillingly went to answer it, hoping it wasn’t Nick she needed some alone time. She froze as she saw Kevin standing there. “Kevin,” she said as she allowed him inside.

“Yeah, I needed to talk to you,” said Kevin as he gave her a smile.

“Sure, if it’s about Kristin joining the tour next week, it’s settled I already made the flight arrangements. She will join you next week without a problem.” She smiled as she saw his eyes light up at the mention of his wife.

“No it’s not about her, but thanks I appreciate your great work. I wanted to talk to you about you.” He said looked at her straight in to her eyes.

“Ok,” said Rose as she looked at him with a confused look on her face.

“I am sorry let me explain,” said Kevin as he saw the look on her face. “Nick is a great friend of mine and he can get pretty attached to someone. You know since he started dating many years back, he has fallen in love with many girls. But today in the morning when I saw you two together I saw a different spark on Nick. Like you are it for him,” he looked at her and saw her look turn sad as she heard him.

“I like him to and I can definitely see myself with him.” She told him as she looked away trying not to look into his intense green eyes.

“But, what about AJ?” he asked her subtly.

“That’s my problem I like Nick, but I fell in love with…- AJ,” she said slowly as she realized that Kevin knew. “How did you,” she sighed and covered her face in shame.

He felt sad as he saw her crumble by his knowledge on her situation. He gave her a hug and spoke, “oh, Rose don’t feel bad your secret is safe with me. Just don’t do something you will regret later, if you don’t love Nick don’t give him hopes.”

“But, I do like him a lot and I believe I can fall in love with him. He has been so good to me and besides AJ will never be with me romantically.” She sighed and walked to the balcony again, she looked out to the city.

“I am not so sure about that,” said Kevin as he walked to the balcony also. “When Nick told us this morning about you two, dating. I saw anger flash through AJ’s eyes. He is more attracted to you than what he leads on; AJ is a very complicated guy. But, AJ doesn’t love Sarah like he pretends to; he just likes the familiarity she gives him. He is now afraid to give his heart out and try to be with someone new. So he prefers someone he already knows.” He turned her around and smiled, “just do the right thing.”

“Thanks, I needed to talk to someone.” She smiled back at the tall man, he was somewhat right but, she was sure AJ did love Sarah. He had told her so, after that kiss. “I will do what I think is best.”

********

She was tired, but she needed to clear her mind the talk with Kevin the night before really had her thinking. AJ had not spoken to her since he find out about Nick and her. Was he right about AJ? She cleared her throat and saw Nick walk in, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her softly on the cheek. “HI,” you were awesome for the second time in Vegas.”

“Thanks, talking about Vegas, this is our last night here so I say we go gamble a little before we leave. Have some fun and dance all night till we can’t no more.” He gave her a smile as he pulled her out of her room. “In the next city, we have to ask to stay in the same room,” he said as they made it to the elevator.

He just made her feel good and she put away her worries. She was going to enjoy her night with Nick. She was feeling more attracted to him, as she saw how much he cared for her. “Ok, we will have fun, but we have to make a promise before we do that,” she told him as the elevator doors closed. “No matter how crazy we get tonight we can’t, be too crazy and do something stupid like get married or something of that nature.”

“Ok, deal but how about a tattoo?” he asked her as he raised his eyebrows at her.

“Hmmm…ok it all depends because I hate needles.”

***********

It was only six in the morning, and he was awake. He grabbed a cigarette and turned on the T.V. anything to try and get him to sleep again. Why was the news of Nick and Rose together make him mad? He knew it would have happened eventually after the talk with Nick while back. He should be happy for both but, all he seemed to think about was the kiss he had shared with Rose weeks ago.

[T.V.]
“On other news, we have now received the exclusive pictures of Backstreet boy, Nick Carter walking out a chapel with the woman he allegedly married last night here in Vegas. We have contacted his rep. for further details but yet have not received an answer. Well congrats to the couple and we will keep you posted if there are any changes. Now, let’s go live with…..”

He muted the T.V. and sighed, trying to understand why Rose would marry Nick so quick. He couldn’t take it and walked out of his room. He didn’t have to think about it he knew exactly where he was going. He turned around the corner and saw Johnny coming the same direction he was, he did not look happy.

“AJ, you’re up early,” said Johnny as he passed him.

“Yeah couldn’t sleep and now it’s going to be harder after the news huh?” he said as he followed Johnny right to Nicks room.

“So you saw that too,” he said more as a statement than a question. “At least you haven’t been on the phone with every type of media available, trying to explain something you didn’t even know about,” said an annoyed Johnny as he knocked on Nick’s door.

**************

Her head was pounding and god did she feel heavy. All she remembered is partying with Nick and some of his friends. She felt someone’s hand wrap around her waist. Slowly she turned her head and barely opening her eyes saw the blond haired man laying there. She smiled; she really did have fun with him. She couldn’t handle it anymore and she was finally giving in to sleep….When she heard knocking? Who could it be at this time she thought? The knocking wouldn’t go away so with hesitation she pulled herself away from Nick’s grip and tried to make way to the knocking. She tried turning on the light, but that did not help her headache, she carefully and holding on to everything on her way finally made it to the door. “All right, I’m coming please stop the torture,” she said as she started to open the door. She winced as the light from the hallway hit her barely opened eyes.

“Oh, god Rose you’re a mess,” said Johnny as he turned away and walked in. “where’s Nick?”

“He’s sleeping,” she said as she looked at AJ standing right behind Johnny. What in the world were AJ and Johnny doing here? “What time is it?” she asked as she finally tried to adapt to the light coming from the hallway.

“Six in the morning,” said AJ as he closed the door to the room and switched the light on. He saw the look on Rose’s face as she ran to the bathroom. He didn’t want to laugh at her but; it reminded him of those days.

“I think you should go check on her, I’ll go wake up sleeping beauty” said Johnny as he walked toward Nick’s bedroom. Boy was he in for a surprise when he woke up thought Johnny as he realized that most likely Nick had not been fully aware when he married Rose. “NICK, wake up!” he grabbed the covers and began to wake Nick.

********

He had taken her to her room, helped her get in the shower. He waited patiently laying on her bed. She had a mighty big hangover, so he had everything ready for when she came out aspirin, cold water, and a red bull. That always helped him after a hangover. He heard the door to the restroom open and out came a very pale Rose.

“Hey, thanks for the help,” she said as she sat on her bed by him. She rubbed her temples; the headache still did not leave her.

“Hey, here take this,” he handed her the aspirins and water. “Your going to need this for what is about to happen,” he said as he put the glass down on the end table.

She looked at him questioningly, “what’s going to happen?” she asked as she closed her eyes waiting of the aspirins to kick in.

“First drink this,” he said as he handed her the red bull.

“I don’t drink red bull,” she said as she saw the can on his hand.

“Well if you want to get rid of the hangover quick, you should take this.” He handed her the can and tried to smile at her.

“Well in that case bring me more,” she said and took the can from him. She drank the liquid slowly and was surprised to find out it didn’t taste that bad. “So why were you and Johnny up so early in Nick’s room?” she asked as lay down on her bed right beside him.

“You honestly don’t remember?” asked AJ as he faced her. She was wearing shorts and tank top making her show more skin than he needed to see. She had her eyes closed and he could not stop staring at her. Even with the hangover, she looked good. He shook his head and tried to concentrate on the matter in hand. “Your marriage,” he said in an accusing tone.

“My marriage? I am widowed now, but what does that have to do with Nick?” she asked as she opened her eyes, after the tone she heard from his voice. It sounded like he was mad at her.

He looked at her straight in the eyes and without realizing he grabbed her by her arms, “Not that marriage Rose, I am talking about the marriage to Nick. You two got married last night and it’s all over the news!” he saw the scared look on her face and realized he was being rough, he let her go and stood away from her. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you…” he looked at her with hurt in his own eyes.

She hadn’t noticed the fact AJ was showing jealousy toward her actions, the words married Nick kept playing her head. Suddenly the Aspirins she had taken were not enough and that was it for her…she lost conscious of her whereabouts.

She still couldn’t believe she had agreed to stay married to Nick. She did lov-liked him a lot, but she could not be married to him, not yet. She just couldn’t say no when he asked her to give there marriage a try. So, far there were no troubles but they were bound to happen. It was too soon for them to tie the knot. She sighed heavily as she sat on plush couch.

“Mrs. Carter what are you so worried about?” asked a cheerful and quirky Nick. He took a seat besides her and gave her a peck on the lips.

“Nick, we need to talk,” she told him as she faced him. She had to do the right thing; she smiled and spoke again, “I think we should file an annulment.”

“What, why? I thought we had already agreed to give this marriage a try.” He looked at her and tried to read her. Why was she doing this now, he had always felt like she was hiding something. But what?

She stood up and with tears threatening to come out she spoke, “because Nick, I am not ready to be in another marriage. Especially when….I –“ she paused and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that were turning darker with the sadness she was causing right at that moment. “I don’t think I can love you, like you deserve to be loved.” She wiped away her tears and turned to walk away.

He felt his heart stop as he heard her tell him why. He just couldn’t let it go; he was willing to take risks. He saw her turn to walk away, instantly he stood up and grabbed her by the arm. “No, don’t walk away. I knew that since the first time I kissed you on the bus, I knew that it was going to be hard for you. I know that it will be hard for you to forget your ex-husband, you loved him. But, I am willing to have only the little piece of your heart you are willing to give me. With just that little piece I will win the rest of your heart. I know I am not like him, but I will be a good different I will make you fall in love with me. Rose give yourself that chance, I will do my best to be the most caring husband available.” He kissed her tenderly and held on to her like she was all he had. He also couldn’t handle another media interrogation about the annulment or to be compared to what Britney had done. He genuinely willing to give this marriage a try it was not like he didn’t have feelings or Rose.

His words kept running through her head as she felt his lips on hers. He was so adorable; he was showing her the romantic side of Nick. He was prince charming, with the blue eyes and everything. Well except for the horse, but he could get one if wanted to. Those words made her stomach flutter, could she do this? Could she fall in love with Nick? “Ok Nick, please understand me and be patient with me. I will need time and patience. It’s not because I am not attracted to you, because I am. I just have some issues to workout, but I will try really hard to be a good wife to and hopefully with time I will love you like you deserve.

************

“How many years has my father tended to your family? So please don’t tell me that your ok with what you’ve done,” said Joel Brown as he looked as his patient. Joel was a third generation doctor in his family and since he was young, he would always remember his father talk about Mark McDonald, his best friend and patient. Now Mark was his patient and his health was not good, his dialysis was no longer enough. “Mark your hopes are not high, if we can’t find a kidney for you soon you will – look your kidneys is starting to show problems due to your diabetes problems…your having acute renal failure.” he looked at the elder man sitting down just digesting what he was saying.

“You can say it Joel, if I don’t find a kidney I die,” he said subtly. He had hidden his illness from everyone except Luisa; she was the confidant of the McDonald’s family. Two years ago he had gotten the news from Joel’s father and his best friend. It felt like only yesterday he had gotten that horrible news. He was doing well with the dialysis, but he knew that sooner or later it would stop working for him. He had tried to find a kidney but, there were so many kids and other people ahead of him in the List. That List, that life giving list, he had thought about telling Rose about it but, they were always arguing so he preferred to keep it to himself. He deserved every bit of the anger and anguish he felt toward himself. He was the one that had cause the distancing between him and his only daughter. He had gone so low, that he had tried to force her into an arranged marriage and even worse he had taken her off his will. He had disowned her, all because of his vanity and greediness. What had happened to him? Joel was right; he should make peace with Rose. Before it was too late, he needed to find her and ask for her forgiveness. But at the same time his pride just wouldn’t let him.

***********

Everything was going smooth per say, but AJ was not the same with her. He was different and she felt horrible, but why was he so mad about her decision? She felt someone behind her and wiped away her tears.

“Hey could you do me a favor?” he asked her as he noticed her wiping her face. She looked unhappy and he knew why. “Are you ok, or do you want to talk? I will gladly listen.”

“NO, its ok Kevin I was just remembering my past. I miss my nana and I just miss my friends.” She tried to play it off, she just hope Kevin would fall for it.

“Ok, if you say so,” he said as he looked at her questioningly. “Well I needed you to make arrangements for me for AJ’s Birthday. We want to make a big bad ass birthday for him, he deserves it. You can call Sarah for help and any questions you have you can ask me or the rest of the guys but, what ever you do you don’t tell AJ! I think we should do it in Orlando this year.” He smiled at her as he finished his sentence.

“What are we doing in Orlando?” asked AJ as he came in the same room Kevin and Rose were in.

“Uhm, well Kristen and I are planning our anniversary party; we want to do it in Orlando this year. I was asking Rose to please help me find a place for it,” lied Kevin as he looked at Rose, who was very quiet at that moment.

“Ok, but your anniversary isn’t till June,” said AJ looking a little curious

“Its better to plan early, besides it’s a surprise actually, Kristen doesn’t even know about it yet. Anyways I have to go, I have a lot to do, Rose remember what I told you,” he smiled at her and with that he left.

“Ok,” she told him as she saw him walk away. She was now alone with him. She could feel him staring at her she finally turned around and faced him. “Do you need anything?” she asked him in a hurt tone.

“I came to apologize for my weird behavior lately. I am an idiot and I guess I kind of got jealous because of Nick, I mean not because you married him or that kind of way. It was more because now you would spending more time with him since well you know, and that meant I wouldn’t get to spend enough time with you. And – well I would miss the long talks we had.” He smiled at her as he saw her face turn slight red.

“Its ok, I am still trying to get comfortable with this and I guess it all went to fast. But, to tell you the truth, we really stop having those talks since I got out of the hospital AJ,” she said that to him instead of admitting to him that since he had gone back with Sarah he had completely stop having those conversations with her.

“I know and I guess I have no right in thinking that you are only my friend. I really am happy for you and Nick.” He didn’t even believe it himself but, what could he say to her? Dump Nick and be his mistress? He was just a big confusion lately, but if true be told he was feeling something more than friendship for Rose. “Are you happy?”

She was surprised by his question. Why did he want to know that for? “I am, Nick is an incredible man and husband, I am the one that is lacking. I guess I just need time, to forget…-,” she quieted down as she realized she was talking to the one she must forget.

He looked at her and felt bad, all this time he was mad about her and Nick. He had forgotten the promise he had made her. He was her friend and he hadn’t been that lately, and it looked like she needed it. He walked up to her and forcing his own will not to kiss her, he gave her a hug. A hug that he could turn into something more, but he couldn’t do that to her, Nick, or Sarah. Sarah, why wasn’t he missing Sarah like he thought he would?

**********

If she could describe the past weeks she wouldn’t be able to. It was chaotic and very tiring. Christmas was her favorite time of the year but, at this moment it didn’t even felt like Christmas. She looked at the beautiful lights that adorned the huge Christmas tree in her suite. This would be the last concert and they would get a good break before heading to Europe for tour.

She was happy with the great friends she had made, and she had to admit she was starting to feel attached to Nick. He was so sweet and very affectionate. She was starting to get comfortable with him; he didn’t push anything on her and was super attentive to her. She was starting to miss him if he was gone for more than expected. She was making progress, she was thinking less of AJ in a romantic way, but sometimes she could see his sad face. It broke her heart to see him like that; she had noticed that when he talked to Sarah on the phone they only seemed to argue. It was something very odd, because she had seen how they were in the beginning. She was interrupted from her thinking by Nick’s lips on her neck, “Hey, I thought you were at the meeting with the guys.”

“Yeah, I was but Howie didn’t show up,” he said as he turned her around to face him. “So they postponed it, till they can get a hold of him, it’s weird for Howie to not show up.” In fact it was hard to believe it, he was now worried. “Maybe I should go see if he’s ok, I am worried. Maybe he is really sick,” he said with a worried expression on his face.

“Wow, Howie not showing up to a meeting is very weird. I think you should go and check on him,” she gave a little push toward the door.

*********

“Jason! What do you mean you don’t know what happened to him? You were the in charge of him,”said Kevin as he looked around Howie’s empty suite. “Where the hell is Howie? He never leaves without security anywhere.” He sighed and looked at Jason again.

“Kev, man I swear he never told me anything about going out,” said Jason Howie’s body guard.

“He’s been acting a little weird lately too,” said Brian who was in the room also.

“Yeah, sure has always on the phone talking very quietly and discreetly. I bet that has do to with this,” said Nick as he took a seat on the plush couch.

“I don’t know but we need to find him, lets just hope he’s ok,” said AJ. “I have called him over 20 times and have not gotten an answer.”

“Ok, enough we will give him till six to show up and if he doesn’t show up by then, I will alert the authorities about his disappearance!” said a very stressed Johnny.

“Thanks for coming,” he said as he kissed her.

“I couldn’t say no, I love you and I can’t take this anymore we need to tell him.” She stood up from the bed and started to get dressed.

“Give me a little more time Sarah, it’s a little hard for me,” he sat beside her and kissed her cheek.

“NO! Howie, he expects me to be with him during the break. Do you really want me to spend all that time with him? Have him caress and touch me…” she looked at Howie as she spoke.

“No, it’s just hard I don’t want to loose his friendship,” he looked down at the carpet. “I knew you would tell me this, that’s why I subconsciously disappeared from the hotel today. I am sure by now they are all aware of my disappearance. When I get back I will be asked every imaginable question available, and I will tell them all about us. I just need you to be there with me, I need you to hold my hand and by my side when I confront him. Especially him, he’s like my brother and I know he will want to kill me.” He sighed and looked into Sarah’s eyes with care and concern.

“I know everything will be ok. I know AJ; he will be ok with it. It will take him a while but he will accept it, he will,” she repeated trying to stay positive about this situation.

“I hope your right,” he sighed and looked at his watch. “We should get going then.”

***********

He took a deep breath as he saw the big crowd of fans outside the hotel room. He asked the taxi driver to please wait while he made a call. Three minutes later he spotted Jason and Marcus come out and toward the taxi that was now surrounded by fans. He saw the not so happy look on the body guards as they made way for him. He was able to smile as he saw Sarah walk into the hotel unnoticed. Finally after several pulls and grabs he made it inside the hotel safely.

“Howie what the hell were you thinking?” asked Jason as he looked at him.

“I know, it won’t happen again trust me,” he told him with a stern voice. “I’m sorry I know you don’t deserve me talking like that but, you will see why I am like this in a little bit.” With that he walked toward the elevators where Sarah waited hidden in between some plants. He spotted her and smiled at her, “let’s go get this over with.”

“Ok,” she said and both walked into the elevator slowly. She was able to see the surprised look on both Jason’s and Marcus’s face when they saw them holding hands. She knew they had figured it out.

The elevator doors open and Sarah stepped out waiting patiently as she saw the trouble Howie was having. “It will be ok,” she went back into the elevator and with care pulled him out.

*******

They all saw the door open and saw Howie come in. “I know you all have questions, and I will answer them but right now I just want to talk to Kevin outside please.” He looked at all of his friends; all of them had a worried face on them. He saw AJ look hurt after he heard he wanted to talk to Kevin instead of him.

Kevin walked to him and both left the room in silence. “What the…-” said AJ as he got up and pointed to door that had just closed. “Now, I know something is wrong with him.”

“Calm down AJ, he said he would tell us all. Be patient,” said Brian. Was it him or was Howie acting weird literally. He was a totally different Howie to the one they all knew, and they were about to know why soon.

Ten minutes had passed but it felt like forever to all of them. They finally saw Kevin come in with a serious face. “I know everything and I want to tell you guys that, I believe every bit of it and Howie has my support. This is something very shocking and it will definitely shock some of you more than others.” He said as he stared at AJ in particular.

Howie came in and stood by Kevin as he spoke, “I know I have been acting weird lately and have been a little annoying. I am very sorry but, I have a reason for all this. I don’t know how to say it, but I know I have to – I have found someone special in my life. In the person I less expected to find it in…” he sighed and tried to find air. He felt Kevin’s hand on his shoulder giving him the support he needed.

“That’s great,” said Brian with relief as he heard Howie. “You have my support too.”

“Yeah, mine too,” said Nick with a smile on his face.

“NO, its not! It’s not great!” he said fast before anyone else spoke. “It’s not because I am going to hurt someone I love so much with this! AJ I am so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen…” he looked at AJ with concern as he spoke again. “I know you will hate me after this, but please try to understand me.” With that the door to his room opened again and in came Sarah.

She slowly walked up to Howie and intertwined her hand with his. “I said I would be by your side to confront this together. AJ I am sorry also, but it happened I fell for Howie and he fell for me. I think he actually hated me at first but it just happened.” She looked at AJ with sadness in her eyes.

Everything turned mute as he saw her hold his hand. What was wrong with this world? The words what goes around comes around kept playing in his head. “What goes around comes around right? Well, thanks Sarah I got the message but why Howie??? I love you, Dammit!! I will not tour with you guys, if this piece of shit continues to be part of this group… I need to get out here this room is starting to feel like hell!!” he looked at them all and walked out of the room shaking off Brian’s grip.

***********

She felt happy inside as she heard the news, Nick had been very vague and was seriously worried about AJ. He had told her he was very devastated and was not going to sing with them unless Howie left. But he was not opening the door to his room to anyone. “Maybe I should try,” she said as she sat beside Nick.

“Actually that doesn’t seem like a bad idea.” He smiled at her and spoke, “go to him, he needs a friend to talk to. Do you think you can convince him to perform tonight???”

“I don’t know, but I can be a friend and hear him out. I would be mad too if the love of my life dumped me for my best friend.” She told him as she stood up.

“You have nothing to worry about, I am not going to do that to you,” he told her as he wrapped his arms around her. He gave her a kiss and smiled as she pulled away.

“I better go and check on him.” She smiled as she walked out the suite.

**********

“AJ, it’s me Rose open up!” she yelled from outside his door. She put her ear close to the door to try and hear, but it was all silent. Then she was surprised as the door finally opened and he pulled her in quick.

He locked his door again and turned around to look at Rose. He wiped his red eyes and spoke, “It’s over for me Rose.” He took a drag from his cigarette and held it for a long time before letting out the smoke.

His room was dark except for the light in the restroom and the dim light from the windows. “No, it’s not AJ. I actually think that stuff happens for a reason.” She sat beside him on the bed and slowly took the cigarette from his hand. “You know I always wondered how this felt; I mean you know what was so cool about smoking.” She looked at him as she put the cigarette to her mouth. She slowly took a drag and quickly started coughing.

He couldn’t help but laugh as he saw Rose in hysterical coughs. “Just the first time you get the coughs then it’s the best part of you daily routine, just taking a smoke. It calms my nerves” he said as he took the cigarette away from her and putting out in the ash tray. “But, I wouldn’t recommend it, especially for you.”

After coughing forever it seemed she spoke, “oh my god how can you do that to you lungs everyday! I will never smoke ewww.” She began to laugh as she realized she had made a fool of herself in front of AJ.

“So, what do you think about my situation now?” he asked her as he faced her and looked straight into her eyes.

“Well besides the torture you give you lungs everyday with that,” she pointed at the box of Marlboro lights on his nightstand. “I think it’s pretty good, you have experienced so many things that are good for you to focus on the bad ones. I think that you should be happy and glad to have found out now than later. I personally think you can’t stop from falling in love, even if sometimes that person already has someone.” She smiled at him as she finished her sentence.

“Like you,” he said in a soft tone as he got closer to her face.

“Like me what?” she asked him as looked away from his stare.

“Like, I am glad I met you, you’re a good part of my life. Can I be honest with you?” he asked her as he grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly.

She felt her stomach flutter as she felt his touch and only managed to nod as she looked at his hand holding hers.

“I am not as mad as I thought I would be, I think I have realized something during this tour… I have realized that I fell in love with someone else.” He said to her in a whisper as he inched even closer to her face.

“I am happ-y for you,” she managed to say as she looked at him with anticipation.

“You should be,” he said as he leaned and kissed her mouth softly at first and then she actually intensified the kiss. He put his hand behind her head and softly laid her down on the bed. “I love you, Rose,” he whispered into her ear as he kissed her soft neck. He smiled as she responded with a soft moan.

“We – can’t do this AJ,” she was able to say before she lost control of her own will…

************

“She’s in there with AJ, hopefully she can get him to come to his senses,” said Nick as he plopped on the couch near Brian.

“Well I wished she hurried up, we have delayed the concert an hour in half already, if not we will have to cancel. I really don’t think that will make our fans happy.” He smiled at Nick as he spoke.

“Oh, god this is my entire fault,” said Howie as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Enough, everyone everything will be all right, I know AJ he just needs time. I already told Johnny to cancel the show, we will recompense our fans with another show the day after tomorrow,” said Kevin as he walked into Nick’s suite.

*************

She was looking at the clothes that was spread out on his suite. She was in heaven at the moment and a smile was spread on her face. She didn’t want this moment to ever go away, when she saw her pants vibrating. She realized it was her phone and with hesitation, she knew she had to answer that call. “Hello,” she whispered as she made it into the bathroom for privacy.

“Hey, babe how is it going? Hey don’t worry about today’s concert it’s been postponed… How is he?” questions kept flying through his mouth. He bit his lip as he heard her sigh on the other side.

“Well, it’s a little better but, I don’t think he wants to see anyone for today. I will talk to you later I have to go, I don’t want him to see me talking to you or anyone else,” she said quickly and hung up the phone. She just couldn’t talk to him at the moment. She looked at herself in the mirror. What had she done? She was a mess and now she just couldn’t go back to Nick and pretend nothing had happened between AJ and her. Had AJ meant what he had told her? Had he fallen in love with her? Or was he just getting revenge? Had he used her only? She sighed and quietly went back to the bed where AJ laid. She rested her head on his chest and just listened to the soft beat of his heart. She closed her eyes and relived this moment again in her head. She smiled as she felt his hand rub her back. “Are you awake now?” she asked as she looked toward his face.

“Well, I guess it was real you are here with me. I for a second thought I had been dreaming,” he said as he opened his eyes. “What time is it? Please tell me I only dozed off and that I will make to the concert,” he rubbed his eyes as he reached for his cell phone on his nightstand.

“They postponed it. I guess they couldn’t have you sing after what happened,” she told him.

“Oh, well good,” he said as he put his phone back down, after a quick glance at its screen. “Fifty four missed calls, wow that’s a new record for me,” he said as he kissed her forehead. “Rose…- I meant what I told you earlier.” He said as he kissed her passionately. “I have always had a crush on you; I just didn’t want to admit that I was opening up to feeling again like that. So I ignored it and then Sarah came back, made me remember the great times I had with her. I forgot for a while about the feelings I was feeling for you, and then I find out that Nick was after you. I thought he would get over it and leave you alone, because you would not take him seriously. I was proven wrong when you guys told us you were officially dating. I want to know what I am, for you Rose. Where do I stand in your life.” he looked at her with anxious eyes.

Those words made her realize she was not single and that she had committed a terrible sin. She looked down not wanting to see him, “I woke up in a hospital bed not knowing who I was, and the first person my eyes met was you. Since that day I felt a special bond with you and for two months you were the only one I knew. I can’t deny that my feelings for you have always been as more than just friends. I always felt jealous when you talked to me about Sarah, but I didn’t care because all I cared for was your happiness. Then Nick came and made me feel wanted in that kind of sense. At first I just thought he was hot and cool to hang around with. He persisted in being more than a friend and that’s when I started to feel differently toward him. Then one thing led to another and we became a couple…- you know the story. Right now I think we are both very confused and what happened is part of that confusion. I have to admit I love you but, Nick won part of my heart with his affection… and I can’t tell you that I don’t love him,” she said as she wiped her eyes.

He was trying not to sound hurt with what she had just told him. She had every right to feel that way; he had only offered friendship to her till now. “I fucked didn’t I?”

She was caught of guard by his comment. “No, why?” she asked as she looked at him.

He sighed heavily and spoke, “Because this wouldn’t be happening if I would have asked you out when I realized I liked you as more than the girl I saved from dying.” He finished his sentence and pinned her under him. “Rose you’re a dream come true to me, you body under mine feels so good. Let’s enjoy this night and not think of the consequences or betrayals we are causing. I want you to experience my love and then you will have to choose Rose. I will be praying for you to choose me.” He smiled and caressed her cheek.

She felt like butter as she lay under him, his way of touching her and kissing were so different to Nick’s. Nick was the pretty boy with the blue eyes, but once you got to know him he could be very wild and inspirational…AJ in the other hand was a very sexy emotional type of guy and boy was he hot with the tattoo’s and his sexy raspy voice. Her conscious demanded her to get out of there and forget about him, that Nick did not deserve this…but her heart told her to let go and be loved. She had to close her eyes and think. She was too late; she had lost all will power as she felt AJ’s lips on her body.

**********

It was almost one in the morning and Nick laid awake in bed waiting patiently for his beloved Rose. Why was she taking so long, why did he have a bad feeling? He shook his head and tried to think of something more pleasant.

He was really happy that Rose was finally giving in and he definitely liked the idea of her now wanting to spend more time with him. She was definitely becoming attached to him just like he was to her. He looked at his cell phone, like that would make Rose call him. He was worried for his friend and the stupidities he could commit if he didn’t get over the fact that Sarah did not love him.

He sighed as he remembered the look on Howie’s face when AJ told him he would never sing with them if he continued to be a backstreet boy. His eyelids were getting heavy all this stress wasn’t helping. He tried to stay awake and wait for Rose but, his body could no longer obey him and he fell asleep.

********

She was wide awake thinking about what had happened not only had they talked but they had sinned several times; she was in a stage of euphoria and confusion. She looked at his head resting on her chest as he breathed silently. It was three and she was wide awake thinking how she was going to explain this to Nick. Who did she love more? So many questions and no time to think, she carefully moved AJ’s head to a pillow and slid out of bed. She got dressed and walked to the balcony. She had to dissect her heart and find an answer to this situation.

He watched her from far; she was busy searching for something on the internet. She had been different with him since the time she was with AJ in his room. He wondered how disturbed AJ had made her feel. The good thing was she able to get to him; he had forgiven Howie and Sarah.

AJ was a different person; he had a smile on all the time. He was now anxious for life and he had admitted to Sarah that he had only gone back with her because of the memories he had of her. Did that mean he was now ready to open his heart to someone else? If so, had he found that someone? He shook his head and walked up to Rose, “I was thinking we could go to New York for a few days, then head to Orlando for AJ’s party. What do you think?”

“I think it’s a good idea,” she said not really hearing what he was saying. She had postponed opening her emailing for three days and now she needed to see if her cousin had answered her email. She was in a terrible state of mind lately; she had only one thing in mind. Who did she love? Who should she choose? Finally pushing inbox she smiled as she her cousin’s response.

“Rose, what’s wrong with you?” he said as he saw the way Rose was ignoring him basically. He sighed heavily as he saw her watching the screen as she opened her email. He was starting to get mad at her; lately she evaded him like he was a pest or something. He was her husband and he had thought they had progressed in this relationship. But, now it looked like they had hit an obstacle. “ROSE!! Did you even hear what I told you?” he covered his mouth with his hand as he realized he had exploded and had screamed at her.

She had completely blocked Nick from her mind as she read the email that was putting her up to date about her family back home, but she was brought back when she heard Nick raise his voice at her. She turned to face him and for once felt anger toward him. “You can’t talk to me like that,” she told him.

“I know I’m sorry but, lately you’ve been ignoring me and we have not had any physical contact. I want to know how I can help you,” he told her in an apologetic tone.

She felt a stab in her heart as she saw his beautiful blue eyes fill with water. He was about to cry for her, he loved her. She did the only thing she thought she could to show him she did care for him. She touched his face and softly kissed his plush lips. “I’m sorry,” she whispered she wanted to tell him everything; she knew he would understand her. But, she wasn’t able to as he kissed her back with passion.

**********

“Hey, I just wanted to say bye. I am leaving tonight and I heard you were leaving at four.” He was lying; he just wanted to see her.

“Thanks AJ,” said Nick as he wrapped and finished tying his robe.

He felt anger as he saw Nick with a smirk on face. He tried to control his emotions and spoke, “Are you going straight back to L.A.?”

“Nope, I know how much Rose enjoyed New York when we were on tour. So I told her we would go there for Christmas and then join you all in Orlando for the New Year’s party Johnny wants to have with us.” He told AJ as he looked back into the room.

“Oh ok well, have fun,” he said as he walked away. Had he seen right? Was Rose playing with his emotions? She never told him that he was the one she had chosen. But she shouldn’t because she liked him first. Nick could find someone else.

*********

Christmas came and went…but for him it was loneliness. He couldn’t stop thinking of her; he had no right his conscious would tell him. Its just he couldn’t forget her…he had the chance to have her but he preferred someone he thought he already knew. He still couldn’t handle that she was in New York with Nick though. Tomorrow he would see them again in Orlando. Could he handle it? He was desperate and had dialed her number a few times but had chickened out at the last moment, hanging up before she answered. Was she going to choose Nick?

**********

She looked at him fast asleep on the bed. She played with his blond hair, she smiled she couldn’t deny that this Christmas was one of the best she had had. Nick was a child in a man’s body she had never laughed so much. But then sadness struck her heart…she remembered the past events with AJ and realized she had to make a choice. Slowly and with out waking up Nick she got dressed. Writing a small note she walked out the suite and into the busy street.

She had so much to think about; so many feelings drowned her heart. She walked the streets just looking at everything in detail. She even prayed for guidance and even asked her mother for help…her mother was close enough to god to ask him for her, what to do? Time went by and before she knew it was getting dark. She started to head back to the hotel and as she walked she made a decision. She made a pit stop on a phone booth and dialed the familiar number.

“Hello?” she answered as she continued to apply her nail polish.

“Romey?” she asked knowing exactly it was her.

“Yeah, Rose?” she asked with a smile forming on her face.

“Yes! Oh my god, how are you? I miss you…” she told her cousin.

“Oh I am good…I am sorry about Rony…” she said getting sad as she mentioned his name. She hadn't had a descent talk with her cousin since her departure that day in the church and the one email a few days ago.

“I am too…I loved him I did.” She said to emphasize to her that she did love Rony.

“I know I have nothing to argue there. But tell me how does it feel to marry a Backstreet boy…and not just any Backstreet boy but Nick?” she asked smiling again.

She sighed heavily before responding… “That’s why I am calling you…I need your help. My dad doesn’t want to hear from me ever again…you’re all I have.”

**********

He heard the door open and quickly went toward the entrance. “Hey I was getting worried, I called your cell phone but I got no answer?” he asked as he hugged.

“Yeah it’s off, I haven’t charged since we arrived to New York. But, I am here now did you get a good rest?” she asked as she caressed his worried face.

“Well I was resting well till I woke up and found out you weren’t in bed with me. I found you note and I understood you needed to have time alone so I played some video games. I have had a pretty lazy day…but now that you’re here we can go out to dinner or something?” he asked as he changed his worried expression to a happy one. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he saw her sad expression something was bugging her.

“Nothing,” she said as she turned her stare away from him. If she was going to do what she planned she needed to pretend to be happy just for this one more night.

*******

She held tight to her cousin, so many memories flooding her mind. “It’s so nice to see you Romey…” she began to cry as she continued to hug her. She took a deep sigh as she the huge airport… DFW airport it was still just like she had seen it.

“I know Twinkles its nice seeing you too…” she laughed as she saw her cousin laugh at the mention of her nickname. “Come on let’s get you home…”

Home, what a scarce word to her, to her knowledge she had no home. “Yeah home,” she said with a low voice.

She didn’t know how to break the news to her about her dad. The drive to her house was pretty silent. Finally she broke the silence and spoke, “Twinkles I a have to tell you something,” she finally said.

She didn’t like the tone of her voice, “what’s wrong Romes?” she asked now worrying.

“Its uncle Mark he’s not doing so well…Louisa called me and told he is in desperate need of a kidney transplant but he’s afraid of contacting you because he feels guilty. He has acute renal failure.” She finished as she parked into her home.

“No, then what are we doing here? Take me to him…I want to see him.” she said tears rolling down her face. “You know I don’t hate him…” she said in a sad tone.

*******

Again he woke up with her not being there; he sighed and called her name. After realizing she was not there he hesitantly stood up. Searching for her everywhere in the suite he came back to the bed and saw the envelope with his name on it on the night stand. As he reached for it he saw there was one for AJ also…he was confused why would she leave a letter for AJ here? He carefully opened the one for him and pulled out a letter…causing the wedding band she wore on her finger fall out too. He slowly picked up the ring and quickly began to read the letter…

Nick,

I don’t know where to start. I am confused, distressed and full of guilt. I can’t continue to hurt you and pretend that my heart belongs to you…I have deep feelings for you and I really enjoyed our time together but, at the same time I couldn’t completely give in. I don’t know how to say this to ease the pain I am sure I will cause you. I can’t love you Nick like you deserve, you deserve someone better than me. I am no good for you…because my heart belongs to someone else. I really am sorry and for that reason I prefer to leave and never see you again. I couldn’t live with myself if I continued to hurt you…please we tried, I tried but I can’t lie. I just don’t feel the charm I feel for someone else. Please forgive me and please sign the divorce papers you will receive from my lawyer. I promise that after that you won’t hear from me again. I want to thank you for the wonderful times I did pass with you…I love you but not like you deserve.

Rose

PS. Please give the other envelope to AJ for me please. Please tell the rest of the guys that it was honor to have such great friends and talented too. You now have one more fan to add to you list. I have sent Johnny my letter of resignation as well… so he is well aware.

He couldn’t understand why. He reread the letter several times and knew he had lost. Rose didn’t love him and yet it hurt so bad…he wanted to shout and go find her convince her he understood she needed time…She had to let Rony go. Then he froze what if it wasn’t Rony?

“Wait Rose wait you can’t just walk in,” Romey told her cousin but was unable to stop her.

“No he will have throw me out himself!” she told her cousin with tears in her eyes as she reached the front door to the house she had once claimed hers. “Nana?” she called as she walked in.

“My dear Rose,” Louisa said as she came into the foyer. She hugged her and quickly pulled her to the kitchen. “My child you can’t scream your father will hear you.”

“I want him too…” Rose said out loud. “Why didn’t he tell me he was sick? Where is he?”

“I am right here,” Mark said as he walked in a cane on his left hand.

“Dad?” Rose said in a whisper as she covered her mouth. She began to cry and without a warning went to hug her father.

He held to her like he had when she was younger and she had hurt herself while playing. “Rose I am so sorry honey, I don’t know what came in to me? I love you sweetie I do…” he told her as he kissed her forehead.

“I’ve already forgotten daddy. Let’s just focus on getting you better now.” She told him as she began to cry more.

“It’s a little more complicated Rose,” he said. “I have to find a donor and well it’s a long wait, not even my money can help me buy one I have to wait on list like anyone else.” he said as he smiled wryly.

“You do have a donor… me,” she said she wiped her tear stained face. She hugged him and spoke again, “I am sure I am compatible I am your daughter.”

When Mark heard her he started to cry, “How can you offer yourself after all I put you through?” he said hugging tightly again.

“Simple daddy… you’re all I have left and no matter what I love you.”

********

He arrived in Orlando in a very somber mode. He still didn’t understand why she left, he had tried his best to give her space and not make her feel obligated to anything. Maybe she was right, she was not for him. It was just too hard to understand that, when you feel like she was it for him. He heard his name being called and looked up; he was surprised to see AJ standing there. “AJ?” he said questionably.

“Hey Nick, I arrived here earlier. So I thought why not come and pick you guys up. Where’s Rose?” he asked as he saw that he was alone.

“Uh,” he rubbed his neck as he tried to speak again. “She not here, she left me…she just disappeared leaving me a letter and I actually have a letter for you too. She wants you to read it I guess.” He finished as he took out the letter from his pocket, he knew the faster he gave it to him the less the temptation to read it he would have.

“What? What did you do?” he asked in confusion. His heart sinking as he saw the envelope on his hand.

“Nothing she just told me she couldn’t continue to lie to me and pretend to love me,” he said as he looked down to the floor. “Look I’ll just grab a cab…I am not feeling well,” he finished as he walked away not waiting for his response.

*******

He read the letter and reread the letter. He didn’t understand why she ran away. She just kept repeating that she didn’t want to ruin a good friendship. Yet she wasn’t thinking about him and how he felt. How she felt, he had felt her tremble at his touch. She felt something for him. He wanted to go after Nick and tell him it was his fault, ask for his forgiveness. Then hope he would be ok with him going after Rose. But yet he felt compelled to listen to Rose’s plea. She had asked for him to not tell Nick anything. She had asked him to try and find someone better. Time that’s what she asked for…could he do it?

******

She looked at her home, many memories. Her home in Madrid was her favorite…she thought about how abruptly she had left. But she couldn’t live with being the culprit in the separation of two good friends. Besides now she had her father to care for. In two days she would begin her preparation for the surgery to save the man that once disowned her. She had so many things to think about and most of all she had to mourn the loss of Rony. The truth is she wasn’t sure if she even felt like she was ready to be with anyone else. She still felt like Rony was alive and one of these days show up at her house with his beautiful smile.

“Why are you so thoughtful?” he asked his daughter as he sat beside her in the bench looking into the garden.

“Daddy you shouldn’t be up…here let me take you to your bed. Enjoy your bed for one more time, because after today you will be stuck in a hospital bed for quite sometime.” She told her father as she kissed is forehead.

“I’m fine Twinkles; I want to talk to you actually. I don’t know where to start…but if something happens to me everything is yours you understand?” he hugged her. He was scared yet he knew his daughter loved him. He loved her too and he was very sorry for the pain he caused her. If he would’ve of let Rony date her she would be happy at this moment.

“I don’t care for that dad...I want you. I don’t think I can live if I loose you too…” she told her father as she hugged him. “Everything will be fine and once your ok we are going to travel like before you understand?” she said putting a smile on her face.

*******

He pretended to be honored and happy with his surprise birthday party slash New Year’s bash. But the truth he was still trying to understand why she had runaway. Was he going crazy for nothing? What made him feel like he needed to find her and tell her that he wanted to be with her. Then Nick’s face came up and instead he felt like it was better to let it go.

“Yo, Aje you look like your not here, man enjoy your freaking party…” said Brian as he handed him a gift.

“Thanks Rok,” he said as he hugged his friend. “I love my party it’s just a little surprising,” he managed to say before he spotted his younger friend sitting alone with the look of worry. “I’ll be right back,” he told Brian as he walked toward Nick.

“Hey,” he said as he took a seat next to him. “You look like your having a blast…” he said with sarcasm.

“What do you want me to say AJ? Happy birthday? Or more like now that your birthday is here it only means mine is a few days away and that means I am getting old.” He smiled weakly at AJ, “Can I tell you something? Or ask you something?”

“Yeah sure what’s up?” AJ asked curiously.

“Well when I got to my hotel yesterday I began to think and it hit me… why Rose could never really feel love toward me… she loves you. Now I am just wondering why you didn’t tell me, since she preferred to walk away.” He said finally letting it out. He had gone to his hotel and just thought about it all and had finally seen the light. Rose was in love with AJ. There was no denying it.

He felt like a cold bucket of water had been thrown on him, “What do you mean?” he asked still trying to make it sound like he didn’t understand what Nick was saying.

He rolled his eyes, “come on AJ I may look stupid but I’m not!” he said now facing his friend. “You knew I liked her lot!” he said putting his hand into a fist.

“Fine, I love her and I think that I felt something for her since I met her. I think she was my first love at first sight. I am sorry man; she didn’t want to hurt you so she chose none. I know you think you love her Nick, but I do love her I can’t stop thinking about her and its killing me to know she is not here. There I said it, but for you I am willing to let it go, I could never live with myself if I did something like what happened to me with Sarah.” He finally stopped talking and sighed heavily feeling remorse.

He laughed lightly and spoke, “I knew there was more to your Good Samaritan thing…” he said as he patted AJ’s back. “But I can’t make her love me, she loves you man. I don’t want to be the culprit of your unhappiness. Just promise that you will love her with all your heart.” He said resigning for good on his Rose.

He looked at his friend in bewilderment, “What are you talking about?” he asked with a lump forming on his throat. He knew exactly what Nick was doing…it just hurt him to see his friend give up.

“Just what you heard, I give her up go find her stupid. By the way happy birthday,” he smiled but it was a sad smile. He knew it was the best choice though.

“So are you ready?” Joel asked Rose as he looked through all her tests. “I have to admit that I am surprised you’re doing this Rose after what he has done to you.”

“Well he is all I have left and if I don’t do it no one will.” Rose said staring at her long time family friend and doctor. “I am just glad you were able to come down here to Madrid to perform this surgery for him. Dad was not going to let just anyone do it you know.”

Joel smiled at her and sighed, “I’m going to do my best Rose for both of you.” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Now just follow the nurse’s suggestions so you will be ready for tonight.”

“Ok,” Rose said her nerves clearly getting the best of her. But she was not going to change her mind tonight she would give her father another chance at life.

“I’ll be right by your side when you wake up,” Joel told her before he walked out of the room and into the hallway of one Madrid’s best hospitals.

********

“Nick this came in for you,” Jen one of the staffs told Nick as he prepared himself for an interview.

Nick sighed as he saw the big yellow envelope and without taking time to think about it he tore the envelope. He read what it said or more like skimmed through and signed on the read ex. This was it he was officially single again. “I hope you’re happy wherever you are.”

He sighed remembering the past few days and AJ’s attempts on finding her. He had even gone to Dallas only to find out the house where she used to live was put on sale. AJ had to stop his search quickly though since now he had to join them all in the European leg of the tour.

“Hey Jen,” Nick said walking out of his dressing room. “Can you sent this back to the lawyer?”

He smiled politely as Jen did as she was told. Now he sighed as he walked to his one on one talk with People magazine. He by now had resided what he would say when asked about his marriage and his decision now to separate.

*******

“Sarah you have to understand me,” Howie yelled into the phone as he prepared his luggage for the next part of the tour. Sarah was not taking it so well, since she was not welcomed on tour for obvious reasons.

AJ may have forgiven them but the ambience would not be right if she were there with Howie. So that’s why Howie had decided not to bring her along or to even fight the other guys about bringing her abroad.

Now here he was upset at both of the scenario’s maybe he should have really thought more about everything before getting into this mess. But it was to late to regret it because he did have strong feelings for Sarah.

*******

She awoke with a slight headache. She tried to put a smile on her face when she saw Joel by her side, “How is he?” she asked him.

“The surgery was a success Rose he is in recuperation; you are going to heal faster though. Now just rest and I will see you tomorrow,” he told her as he squeezed her hand to reassure her everything had come out fine.

“Thanks for everything, especially flying all the way to Spain just cause dad wanted to have his surgery here,” she told him as he squeezed her hand.

“You know I would do anything for your family,” he said as he walked away. “I’ll come tomorrow to see you again,” he said to her as he exited her room.

*******

Days passed and nothing he couldn’t find her. From what she had told him when she had recovered her memory she lived in Dallas, yet she was not there. It was like she had vanished into thin air. “Rose where can you be?” he looked out of his hotel room in Sydney. They were back on tour and even though he had tried to find her he still couldn’t help feeling bad for his friend he couldn’t help it.

“So any luck?” he asked his friend as he walked into his suite.

“No none Nick, I think its best if we leave it at that. Maybe she never had any feelings for me either; maybe we both were her rebounds.” He said in a sad tone turning to look at his blond friend.

“No AJ I am telling you she has feelings for you I know it,” he said trying to assure his friend that he should not give up.

He smiled and looked toward the door, “Maybe your right, I’m just tired of not finding her,” he said.

“Sarah and Howie are not doing to well,” he said trying to find a different subject.

“What? Why?” asked AJ more concerned for his life time friend than her…to him all she had become was a whore. He hated to call any woman that but, that’s how he felt about her.

“I don’t know but I think Howie could use a friend and we all know who he considers his best friend,” Nick said as he looked at him straight into his eyes.

“I don’t hate him,” he felt like he needed to say that. “I’ll talk to him, I think we need to have a long well thought conversation,” he said starting to walk out his suite.

*******

****** A month later******

“You look so good dad,” she told her father as they entered the coffee house.

“Well it’s all because of you,” he answered.

After ordering there drinks, they took a seat… “So now that Joel has assured you that I am fine, as long as I take my meds and take care of what I eat I – want to talk to you Rose.” He told his daughter that tried to look happy but, he could tell something was definitely not right in her head.

She sighed and smiled to her father. “It’s nothing daddy I just realized that life can suck all your will to live sometimes. But, then I see you and I realize that I am going to be fine.” She said as her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, sweetie you know very well that’s not what its killing you inside…Now are you going to tell me about that Backstreet boy you married? Do you love him?” he asked a little too harsh but he knew his daughter and he needed to use that tone so she could open up.

She was surprised yet she wasn’t Nick was pretty famous. “You knew about that?” she asked.

He laughed and spoke, “Honey he’s famous it was all over the news. I was here when I heard it,” he said as he looked out the window of the coffee house.

“It was a big mistake and I was drunk…I don’t know how to explain it really. He told me he loved me and that felt so good at that moment daddy because I felt so bad because of Rony. The few months that I stayed married to him I did come to feel affection toward him. But not love daddy that’s why I had to get out…” she sighed not telling him that she felt love for Nick’s friend and band mate AJ.

He just stared at his daughter; he saw the doubts and sadness through her eyes. “I know it’s late to tell you this but…you should follow your heart Rose. Sometimes even after loosing someone you love, you are blessed to find someone new to help you forget about the feeling of loneliness.” He told her as he caressed his daughters tear stained face.

Her father seemed to be reading her thoughts. Because that’s what she thought AJ was, her relief. He was so sweet and the fact that he had helped her when she didn’t know who she was made him even more interesting. Then him realizing he felt something for her after all made her suffer more. But she had kept her promise…she choose none. By now she was sure they both had found someone and were good friends like always.

********

Europe was a change for them and things seemed to be back to normal per say. Howie was single again and back in good terms with him. Nick was now single also legally and had gone out on a few dates.

It was just him; he couldn’t get over the idea of not being able to even tell Rose that he had fallen for her. He just kept hanging on to the great night back in the hotel. She was something and then the memories of her not knowing who she was making her more vulnerable. He was there through it all…he felt like he knew her the best. He had seen her cry for help and was there when she cried till she could no more when she found out she was a widow.

“Hey man, cheer up we are in your favorite place…” Nick said as he patted his friend. He now realized that AJ really did have it for Rose. He smiled as he remembered something he hadn't shared with him.

“Yeah London is a good place but, right now I’m just not in the mood. You go on and enjoy your exploring Nick.” He told his friend as he watched him take a seat next to him. “What?” he asked as he saw the grin on Nick’s face.

“Well when I got my final copy of my divorce papers from Rose…I kind of found out where she was. I kind of flirted with the girl that brought them to me,” he said turning shades of red. “She was a fan and I thought maybe if I flirted a little she was willing to tell me a little more about my ex-wife’s whereabouts. Like always it worked.” His grin got bigger as he told his friend this.

“What? Really and your telling me this till now?” he said as he faced his friend.

“Well I wasn’t sure if you wanted to know or not. I do remember you telling me once that she was to hurt and vulnerable from her husband’s death. So I had to really think about telling you or not. But now seeing just how much you miss her…I will tell you I mean if you want?” he said looking at his friend with a curious face.

“I – don’t know what to say? I want to, but then I don’t, I still feel like I did wrong in getting involved with her when you two were married.” He said in honesty.

“Well you can’t force someone to love you AJ and I know she definitely doesn’t love me. But, think about it and let me know if you want the information,” he told him as he stood up. He had resigned on Rose’s love and now he was moving on. One thing he had learned from all this was never go too fast.

“Wait,” he told him. “Where?” he said as he sighed.

He giggled at how quick he had made his mind up…yep that man was in love. “Here in London they just settled here not to long ago, apparently she’s rich and has a flat here. Well her daddy does,” he told him. With that he walked away.

He knew she was rich she had told him, right after she recovered her memory. So had she reconciled with her father? He smiled for once and now had a mission he was going to find her… he needed closure. Even if it was to hear her say she was not going to ever date him.

“Well good morning Ms. McDonald,” said the doorman.

“Morning Henry, do you think it will rain today?” she asked laughing at her own question. Most likely it would.

“I guess you answered your own question there,” he told her as he opened the door for her.

“Yeah I guess I did…listen Henry if my father asks just tell him I went for a walk and maybe some shopping.” She told him as she began to walk. She smiled as she walked on by people. She had to get over everything; she was going to start fresh. “Yes Rose you can do this…London will be your new life. Forget Dallas and LA.” She said as entered the first store.

********

He finished his cigarette just outside his hotel, “Ok well let’s see where would I live if I was the daughter of a rich American man. A cowboy per say,” he asked himself as he just began to walk.

“Oh my god your AJ!” she told the man she had just bumped into. “I am a huge fan…could I have an autograph?” she asked excitedly.

“Sure sweetheart what’s your name?” he asked in his best accent.

“Wow you really do sound from here, its Isabella.” She told him as he grabbed the paper and pen from her.

He posed for the picture she took and with that she was on her way. This was going to be harder than he thought. He just hoped he didn’t get stopped to often. He had to be back for the concert.

******

She answered her phone, as she continued to scan the rack of old records. “Hello?” she answered as she took a record from the rack.

“Twinkles?” Romey said as her cousin answered.

“Romey…please stop calling me that.” she said as she smiled.

“Ok fine, but where are you? I just arrived here and my uncle says you left since early morning? Well, where can I meet you, I want to go shopping with you.” she told her excitedly.

She laughed, yeah Romey was the shopaholic. “Look I am at this vintage record store…why don’t we meet at the coffee shop near my flat?” she told her cousin as she walked to the cashier to pay.

“Deal see you in fifteen,” she told her cousin.

*****

She began to walk to the coffee house where she would meet with her cousin Rose. She was going to enjoy her stay in London; she looked down for a second and with out notice bumped into someone. “Fuck, the first day back in London and already I’ve turned into a clumsy woman.” She said as she hit the ground bringing the tall man down with her.

“Are you ok?” he asked her as he quickly got up and helped her up.

“Yes, I’m fine sorry I wasn’t paying attention there.” She told the man and then realizing he wasn’t from here either, he had an American accent. She finally looked up and was met with the most beautiful blue eyes ever. She knew who he was and felt her body stiffen he was hot. How could Rose not love this man was her question, finally realizing she was staring too hard she looked away.

“No I’m sorry I wasn’t looking either, I am sort of lost actually.” He told her as he checked her out, she was cute. “Maybe you can help me find my way?” he asked as he realized she wasn’t from here at all, in fact she had a southern accent. “I’m Nick by the way,” he said as he extended his hand to her.

“Romey…” she said as she shook it. “I know who you are…” she said when she saw him staring at her.

“Yeah, I get that a lot…so then I guess I am right when I suspect your not from here are you?” he asked.

She laughed, “Me from here oh no, just visiting family. I wish I could help you find your way back but, I wouldn’t be any good. I must go nice meeting you.” she told him as she smiled one more time to the blond man. Making a mental note to smack Rose, that man was divine.

He watched her walk away and just couldn’t stop staring at her. She was quirky and somehow made him smile. He watched her walk across the street and go into the coffee house; he just couldn’t leave like that…so with out thinking it twice he walked toward the coffee shop. He had time right? Then he could ask someone there for directions back to his hotel.

*******

“Oh my god Rose…you’re not going to believe who I just bumped into literally.” She told her cousin who was already inside.

“It’s nice to see you too,” she told her as she laughed at the look of surprise her cousin had.

“No seriously Rose…I just bumped into Nick Carter!” she said as she hugged her cousin.

Suddenly she felt her heart stop, “What? Here?” she said with a panicked voice.

“Yes, he is lost. Do you think he is here looking for you? I mean he did give you the divorce right?” she asked her as she grabbed her cup of coffee. “This one is mine right?” she asked after already drinking from it.

“Yes,” she said nervously. “Why would he be here? Wait, he’s here on tour. Crap.” She sighed now remembering that, from when she was working for them.

“By the way…what the hell are you looking for? He is so hot and those eyes…” she said sighing as she remembered there encounter.

“Yeah he’s hot. But AJ is – so much better.” She sighed as she remembered AJ’s naked body that night. “Wait, you didn’t tell him that you knew him from me right?” she asked.

“No he just assumed I was a fan I guess.” She told her as she continued to drink her coffee.

******

He had gotten close to opening the coffee house door when he saw her. In there sat the woman he had once thought he loved. Rose was sitting there, he couldn’t walk in anymore. Then he saw the girl he had bumped too, go straight to her. Romey was related to Rose. That explained her accent…he watched the two talk from outside, till he couldn’t take it anymore. Finally he decided to leave and find his way back. Without wanting to he had found Rose, while the one that wanted to find her couldn’t find her….

******

“Romey, can I speak to you alone?” he asked his niece.

“Sure, what’s up uncle?” She said as she kissed her uncle’s cheek.

“Could you shut the door please,” he asked as he pointed to the door. He smiled as she obliged and closed the door.

“Ok now you’re scaring me?” she admitted to him as she stared at him curiously.

“Don’t get all worked up Romey, I’m fine but I need a favor from you, see that box over there bring it to me please.” He ordered as he smiled to his niece assuring her he was fine.

“Ok,” she did as was ordered handed him the box.

“Now you more than anyone else knows how much I’ve hurt Rose since, my wife passed away. I guess in a way I wanted to protect her and instead I hurt her, but now I want to make it up to her. Now I know you know about this whole Backstreet boy thing and its fine I don’t expect her to trust me so quick. But, I am a father none the less a littler wiser, so I know she has some feelings for him…so I-…” he paused and pulled out two tickets from the box. “I went ahead and got front row tickets to there show here in London,” he finished as he handed her the tickets.

She grinned at him and spoke, “You know you’re just like mom, your bad,” she laughed as she looked at the tickets. “There’s just one problem with this, I don’t think she will go willingly.” She said as she began to think on how she would get her to go.

“Well that’s your problem Romey, I got the tickets. I know you also want her to be happy right? She deserves it you know,” he said as he touched his scar.

“Yeah she does, now just to give a you the heads up uncle. It’s not Nick that is driving her to insanity,” she told him. He had to find out sooner or later especially if she did bring AJ to meet him. AJ definitely wasn’t the type of man he would see his daughter dating, but he had changed so who knew.

********

“Ok seriously where are we going?” she asked her as she allowed herself to be dragged out of the cab. The blind fold was a little to much, “can I at least take this is off, I having a feeling I am going to fall!” she said as she tried to remove it only to get smacked on her hand.

“No I said it was a surprise,” she told her as she continued to drag her down the sidewalk. Smiling as she saw the O2 arena, “we’re almost there,” she finished.

Few steps later and she felt like she was no longer outside, “Where are we Romey, you’re scaring me…” she said as she heard screams.

“Ok you can take this off,” she had to scream into her ear as she removed the blind fold. She watched Rose look around at first trying to figure out where they were, but then she saw the look of anger and surprise when she heard the music.

“NO you didn’t, Romey!!” she was starting to back away but was surprised by Romey’s strength. “No Romey, please lets get out of here,” she begged.

“No we are doing this, I didn’t get front row for any reason,” she smiled at her cousin. “Besides I think you should talk to both of them, really a letter is not closure at all!” she said as she pulled her down the aisle to there seats.

She had stopped talking as she saw him, he was so enticing and his voice was all it took for her to just watch. “Isn’t he gorgeous?” Romey whispered into her cousin’s ear.

“Well I hate to break it down to you but, they are all hot.” She smiled at her cousin’s face.

*******

He was singing like always just minding his own business, when he saw her. He had to breathe and missed his part of the song, “sorry,” he mouthed to Kevin who looked at him with an angry face. After he sucked it up and just continued to sing. What was she doing there? He tried to out do his performance and impress her. But he didn’t even know why she was there. Was she here for mere entertainment or was she there to talk?

*******

All of a sudden she was last in the crowd; she searched for Romey with no luck. She began to be scared, “Romey!!” she screamed. She was beginning to worry as she made it to the outside of the venue, but she couldn’t leave with out her cousin. She still didn’t remember how she lost her. Hesitating not wanting to face AJ or Nick she turned back around and returned her steps back to where they had been sitting. By the time she had reached the chairs most of the arena was empty…

“I’m here!!” she screamed to her cousin. Smiling as her plan had worked, “Come on Rose…let’s go.”

“Oh my god Romey, you freaking scared the crap out of me…Where were you?” she asked stopping as she saw who stood behind her. “Johnny?”

“Hey Rose,” he came up to her and gave her a hug.

Rose returned the hug while giving Romey the look of death. “So how are you?”

“Me…good still can’t find someone who can get me my coffee like you did.” Johnny said as he smiled at her. “Now come with me you know you can’t leave here till you talk to someone. I had to come out here personally to get you…”

She tried to resist but she couldn’t it was Johnny. Rose took a sigh of defeat and followed him to the back part of the arena. She could still here the rush of the men at work taking apart the equipment they had used for the concert. “Ok this is where I stop and let you continue on your own,” Johnny told her and Romey who had also followed.

“You know you have become one of my most hated family members” Rose told Romey as she took a breath looking around the lounge area.

“You know you will regret saying that one of these days…” was her response.

“Well I think you should hate me more,” Nick said as he came in. He smiled as he saw Rose looking down to the floor. “I feel like I was a bad husband now? With you averting my face, I don’t hate you.”

“You should,” Rose said finally staring into his blue eyes. She felt relieved as she saw no anger toward her.

“Well I have to admit I am a little disappointed knowing that I couldn’t win your heart. Any who, I am man enough to understand and let you be happy again.” Nick finished saying that as AJ walked in slowly. “Now Romey how about you join me, I will have you meet the rest of the guys as we let these two talk.” He finished as he pointed to Rose then AJ.

“Ok,” Romey said as she gave her cousin a small hug. “Just call me if you need to go…but please do the right thing.”

He just continued to watch her silently; he wasn’t sure why he had Nick do this. He still felt like this was wrong, but his heart kept telling him it was ok.

“You know you staring at me like that doesn’t help this situation,” she said barely making herself be heard.

He cleared his throat, “I’m sorry but I just can’t stop staring at you, you look beautiful like always. I can’t help myself…I’m sorry about this but, Nick insisted.”

“So you told him?” Rose asked as she finally looked at him.

“God no, he figured it out on his own. I promise I didn’t have anything to with him finding out.” He felt bad as he saw Rose blame him.

“How did he find out?” she asked more to herself than to him.

“He didn’t tell me much he just told me to make you happy…and I want to really do that. I can’t stop thinking about you Rose. I am in love with you…” AJ said as he finally closed the space between him and Rose.

“I – don’t…” Rose tried to finish her response but was cut off by AJ’s lips. She felt overwhelmed but welcomed his lips with the same hunger he came on to her. She felt her tears come down her face as she kissed him back. But just like that her remorse returned and she pulled herself away from him. “I can’t I just can’t…” she repeated as ran out leaving AJ looking sad and baffled.

Rose never looked back after she ran out leaving AJ standing there. Now here she was sitting on a bench in a park, just thinking on how her life was a big mess. She hated that her heart could move so quickly from loving Rony to loving AJ. She hated that amongst that she also happened to fall into the likeness of the one and only Nick Carter. Could she find a solution and not feel so guilty? She felt her lips as she remembered the kiss between AJ and her. “What do you want Rose?” she whispered to herself.

“Can I sit?” Nick said as he walked closer to her.

“Nick…how did you find know I was here?” asked a baffled Rose.

“Well let’s just say someone really close to you cares about your happiness,” said Nick as he took a seat beside her. “After you ran out, Romey was leaving and I kind of followed her while pulling AJ along. Then your awesome dad told us where you might be,” he smiled as he patted her back.

Rose just stared at the pavement not wanting to look at Nick. “I’m sorry,” she told him as she felt tears start to come out.

“For what? You did what your heart told you to do, you didn’t love me. Now it did hurt yes it did but, I realized that I can’t force you into something you didn’t want. I also was able to learn from this, not because of who I am I should feel like I should get everything I want.” Nick turned and made her look at him, “What do you want Rose, because I can assure you that AJ is crazy over you. He’s a little slow in finding out his own feelings but the truth is he is in love with you. I know for a fact right now he is dying to know what you feel for him, if I am stopping you please don’t. I am ok with it, I want to see you happy as well as AJ.”

“I appreciate your honesty Nick, but it’s not just you that’s stops me. I just feel like I didn’t honor my love for my husband Rony. I don’t know anymore…” she wiped her tear stained face.

Nick sighed as he heard her… “I think Rony would love for you to be happy.”

For once she heard him and realized that Rony loved her as much as she did him. She realized that if it would have been her to have died she would have loved for Rony to find someone to be happy with. “I still am really sorry about all I’ve caused you.”

He laughed a little, “Well I know how you can repay me,” a grin spreading on his face.

*********

“It’s nice to meet you AJ,” said Mark as he looked at him. He was very different from Rony yet this time he was not going to judge Rose’s taste in men. Besides so far he seemed like a descent man.

“Its Alex,” he correct as he smiled to the man. He could see the worried look on the man’s face he had the same little worried look Rose had.

“Alex it is,” he smiled at him. Just as he was running out of things to talk to him about, the door to his flat opened and in came in Rose followed by other man that come with Alex and Romey. “Rose, are you ok?”

“I’m fine…” she kissed her father. “Where’s Romey?” she asked as she looked around the living room.

“I believe she is in the kitchen, why don’t Nick and I go look for her?” said Mark as he tried to stand up, smiling when both Alex and Nick helped him up. “Thanks guys, now come on you,” he patted Nick on his back.

AJ watched Nick and Mark leave. He turned and saw Rose looking at him, “I’m sorry for just showing up here like…” he was stopped by her lips on his. He smiled as he kissed her back, “I don’t want to ever loose you again,” he told her as he kissed her again.

“You won’t, I am totally in love with you AJ.” Rose smiled at him as she removed his glasses from his face. “I like you like that better,” she tossed the glasses onto the floor.

******

****Six months later****

Rose smiled as she heard the priest ask her the question, “Yes I do,” she said not taking her stare away from AJ’s. This time she was more than willing to marry the man that stood beside her.

“Man and wife…” was all AJ heard as he was lost in Rose’s eyes. His smile widened when he heard the priest say he could kiss the bride.

Rose was so into the kiss that she hadn't realized that everyone was clapping. Finally after breaking the kiss she gladly walked with AJ down the isle….She had made the right choice…

******

“May I bud in?” asked Nick who escorted Romey to the dancing pair.

“Yeah,” AJ said as he allowed Nick to dance with Rose and he gladly took Romey.

“So Romey??” asked Rose as she eyed Nick.

He turned red and smiled at Rose, “She is a very interesting gal actually…”

“Oh I know I am her cousin,” said Rose as she continued to dance. “Thank you,” she finally said it again and kissed Nick’s cheek.

“For what? Taking Romey off your hands?” Nick asked pretending to not to understand what Rose was talking about. “Just kidding,” he said when he saw the look on Rose’s face. “I only did the honorable thing…I care for the both of you.”

*****

“I want to make toast to the new couple…” Howie said as he cleared his throat. “I’ve been AJ’s best friend for what? Forever I think…and I have to say about time man, you deserve this. Rose welcome to the family, I love you both.” He raised his champagne glass.

Rose eyes filled with tears as she saw the crowd of people toast for them. In that crowd stood her father and he was actually smiling. She had to go through so much but at the end loved prevailed her father was in good health and she had the man she loved beside her. Maybe god did exist and after the storm came the calmness. “I love you…” she whispered into AJ’s ear.

“I love you too…” he told her too and leaned in and gave her a kiss. He couldn’t believe he had finally done it found his other half. He was so overwhelmed by everything and now he finally felt complete… “Want to get out of here?” he asked grinning at her.

“We can sneak out,” Rose said smiling back at him.