Introduction

Kim was 27 years old and had hit a slump in her life. Kim still lived at home with her parents, but she didn’t mind as she was well looked after and they were pretty cool so she could come and go as she pleased, because she still lived at home Kim had no financial commitments, apart from the small amount of rent she would leave for her parents each month. Kim had not long come out of a messy break up with her boyfriend of 6years, so to compensate for her broken heart she spent most of her free time partying trying to numb the pain. Kim found it difficult to be stuck in one place for too long she got bored very quickly if she wasn’t kept active or mentally stimulated this caused her to flit from job to job, she just couldn’t cope being confined to one space for too long. The only thing Kim had ever stuck with was her dance classes that she taught a few evenings a week, she had done this since she left school and it was a great passion of hers. It made her feel free and able to escape from all of life’s little dramas. Currently Kim’s main job was working in a clothing store, she hated it so much, the customers were rude, the staff were bitchy, the hours sucked and it was the most mundane, boring thing she had ever done but,,,,,,,,, the pay was good. Kim had enough money to pay her way through her life, party whenever she wanted, treat herself to nice clothes and holidays and still have enough left over to do it all again, so she’d been able to save a fair bit of money for what she called ‘when she grew up’. Kim loved her job when she first started, now all she enjoyed was the end of the month when she got her pay check! Kim had, had other jobs before this one but she never lasted very long in them she always felt like a caged animal being forced to perform the same mind numbing tricks day in day out, she needed to be free and un confined, to have a change of scenery to keep life interesting. But where would she find a job like that?
Who would have known that a rash decision made in a moment of anger would lead to the luckiest break of her life and a possible love interest or two!!!!

Chapter 1

Kim was deep in thought when she was interrupted by her line manger Tina. Tina was only about 5’2 and always wore stupidly high shoes to try and make herself look taller, even in flats Kim still towered over her. Kim was around 5’7 with long brown hair which she always had tied back and brown eyes which were almost as dark as her pupils.The two woman had never gotten along Tina took an instant dislike to Kim as soon as she began working there. It may have been jealousy as Kim was taller and a lot prettier than Tina and she didn’t have to work hard for people to like her, in fact quite the opposite of Tina who was disliked by everyone in the store.

“Are we keeping you from something?” Tina hissed.

“Huh, Err, No, Just thinking.” Kim replied through a fake smile.

Tina rolled her eyes and sighed, “I’ll be off the shop floor for a while I need to get some things ready for this afternoon, It’s your appraisal don’t forget.” she smirked.

Kim watched as Tina waddled off trying to keep vertical in the super high shoes, she shook her head and threw herself back into her mundane task. God she was dreading this afternoon. She had two appraisals each year and they were always the same story, her manager would go on about how she needed to apply herself more and if she did she could go really far in this company. Kim would then promise to strive for constant success and achievement yadda, yadda, yadda! Kim knew this time would be even worse. She’d had yet another difference of opinion with a snotty customer this morning and had already been subjected to the wrath of Tina, now they would be alone away from prying eyes and she knew Tina would not hold back from making her feel like shit.
Her thoughts were interrupted again by an announcement over the intercom the loud voice boomed, “Can Kim come to the office please!”
Her stomach flipped I guess it’s that time again then, she thought letting out a heavy sigh.
Kim made her way up stairs she couldn’t believe the day she was having. As she reached the office door she took a deep breath and paused before lightly knocking.

“Come in!” the voice behind the door commanded.

Kim shuddered, just the sound of Tina’s voice made her want to stick pins in her ears. She pushed the heavy door open to find Tina sitting very comfortably in the store managers chair power trip! Immediately came to mind.

“Take a seat.” Tina ordered as she beckoned to a small chair the other side of the desk.

Kim pulled the chair out and sank into it she knew this was not going to end well. For 20 minutes Kim sat there listening to how worthless and inadequate she was. Then all of a sudden as if a switch had just gone off in her head, she bolted up right in the chair, her eyes began covering every inch of the room as her mind raced. What the hell was wrong with her? Why was she taking this shit, from that woman? This was not who she used to be.
“That’s it!” the words suddenly escaped from her mouth.

“What’s what?” Tina demanded looking rather puzzled and slightly taken back by Kim’s outburst.
“What’s what?” Tina repeated herself looking ever more unimpressed.

Kim half smiled and shook her head, “I quit!” she rejoiced.
Tina’s eyes grew wide as she stammered, “Yyyou what? You can’t qui” but she was interrupted by Kim before she could finish. “

Yeah that’s it, I quit! You can take your crappy job and stick it up your....” this time Tina interrupted Kim.

“You can’t just QUIT!” Tina tried to sound firm and in control. “There are procedures to go through; you have to put it in writing and work your notice.”

That was the final straw Kim could not believe this woman. She had just said she quit yet Tina thought she could still tell her what to do. Kim shot out of the chair like a bullet and leant across the desk till she was face to face with Tina. Her eyes darkened with fury as she coldly snapped,
“Watch Me!” Kim needed to get out of there and fast another power burst from Tina and she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from smacking the bitch in the face. She turned to the door and flung it open beginning to stride down the corridor she heard Tina shout after her,
“Don’t you DARE show your face here again!”
Kim didn’t even turn around, not wanting to waste anymore breath on the evil little troll she just raised her hand and shot her the finger and headed for freedom. As Kim walked out of the building she felt the cool breeze against her warm cheeks, she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a box of cigarettes and searched franticly for a lighter.

“For God’s sake” she cursed “Where is that frickin lighter?”
She felt like she was going to explode. Great she said to herself yet another FAILED job! She finally found the lighter and lit the cigarette, inhaling deeply the harsh reality of what had just happened suddenly began to dawn on her. Kim needed to get to her best friend jaynes house she always made things seem better and if ever Kim needed reassurance and cheering up it was now.

It only took Kim about 15 minutes to get to Jaynes luckily she was in and not out spending all her husband’s hard earned cash. Jayne was 18 years older than Kim and was her old manager from her first job. Jayne was very Slim and quite short she had bright green eyes and a different hair style each week. As Kim reached Jaynes she noticed a few cars parked on the drive. Yes Ash must be home she thought. Ashton was Jaynes son, he was only 2 years younger than Kim but they were like brother and sister. Ash worked away a lot of the time. He worked for a company that supplied lighting and sound equipment to musicians when they went on tour, but he also did a bit a freelance crew work. It was the best job Kim had ever heard of, yeah it was a lot of manual work loading and unloading equipment and the hours were a bit unsociable, but you got to go on tour with all sorts of different artists and travel the world with their shows.

Kim ran up the path and knocked on the door she was soon greeted by Ash and instantly threw her arms around him causing him to stumble back slightly.

“Wow that’s the best welcome home I’ve ever had.” he joked.

Kim felt a bit silly but she was in an emotional state from her day. She pushed him out of the way and walked through the house to the kitchen soon followed by Ash. She found Jayne in there making coffee.

“Just in time did you hear the kettle?” Jayne playfully joked.

Kim let out a fake laugh which instantly caused Jayne to spin around to look at her friend.

“What’s up?” she enquired.

“Err” Kim hesitated “I kinda quit my job.” She sank into her chair feeling like a complete ass.
Jayne dropped her eyes and shook her head, “What happened this time?”

She brought the coffees over to the table and took a seat as Kim began to tell her the story.
The best thing Jayne could say to console her friend was “Well you lasted longer than we expected!” and grinned from ear to ear. The three of them sat quietly around the kitchen table trying to digest what had happened. Just then Ash’s phone began to buzz causing them all to jump.
“I gotta take this” said Ash as he moved into the other room.

Kim broke the silence between her and Jayne “I thought he wasn’t back for another few months what happened?”

“There was some kinda fall out with the bands manager and Ash’s firm, something to do with money I think so they finished early” Jayne shrugged “it’s only a flying visit though he’s off on another tomorrow morning. For 3 months!”

Just then Ash came through the door looking a little flustered.

“What’s up?” ask Jayne concerned.

“I just don’t bloody believe this.” Ash growled getting more and more worked up. “That new lad we hired last month, Jake, he’s just quit, said he can’t travel anymore due to ‘family commitments’!”

“What does that mean for you?” asked Jayne trying to console her son.

“It means I’m a man down so I’m screwed with this new job!” Ash spluttered.

“Is there no one else you could call a favour on? It’s only for a few months isn’t it?” Kim asked trying to help.

He shook his head, “Not at such short notice we gotta be on the plane to France tomorrow morning that’s where this new tour is kickin off.” Ash paused to light a cigarette “What am I gunna do mom? I can’t pull out now their show is in two days they’ll never find author firm in time.”

Kim looked at Jayne she could see her mind ticking over, and then a small grin formed across her face. “KIM!” she screeched.

Kim and Ash both jumped and looked at her puzzled.

“That’s it” Ash sighed “She’s gone mad, Old age has finally caught up with her.”

Jayne jumped out of her seat and slapped Ash across the head. “Watch it boy!” she scolded. “No, seriously, take Kim with you!, she’s just left her job and she’s helped you in the past, so she kinda knows what to do and you’ll be there to help her out anyway. You know she could do it. It’s ideal for her, get her away and you know can trust her not to let you down.”

Kim felt her cheeks getting hotter and hotter as she basked in Jayne praise.

“Mmmmmmmm, I dunno,” said Ash “Her last reference doesn’t look to good. What if I piss her off and she throws me across a table or something?” He playfully joked.

Kim punched him in the arm, “Watch it sonny.” she teased.

Ash took a sip of his drink and mulled over the idea for a few minutes. Kim’s heart was beating so fast. She had always been jealous of Ash’s job this would be amazing if he’d give her a chance.
After what felt like a life time Ash cleared his throat and said “Is your passport in date?”

A huge grin formed over Kim’s face, “Yeah” she coyly replied.

“And, are you free for the next few months?”

“Yeah” Kim answered trying not to laugh.

“And do you think you could handle a lot of manual work, being in a male environment, and seeing all of Europe?” Ash toyed with her.

“Hell yeah!” said Kim “I’d give you a run for your money” she laughed.

“OK you’re hired!” Ash announced in his best Alan Sugar Impression.

Kim screeched and gave Ash the biggest hug, “Oh my God” she gasped. “You’re so not gunna regret this, thank you so, so much.”

“I better not regret it.” Ash joked. “Right then, now for the serious stuff.” Ash’s voice turned deeper. He sat down and spent the next 30 minutes explaining to Kim the ins and outs of what she would be doing, what she needed to bring, how much she got paid and days off. “Any questions?” Ash asked.

“Not at the minute.” Kim answered still showing a wide smile, she was too excited to think straight and there was a hell of a lot to take in.

“Right then I’m gunna pop to the office, get your paper work sorted and put you on the books. We don’t want you doing all this for free now do we?” he winked at Kim, who had gone into shook at the prospect of what lay ahead. “I’ll bring some stuff for you to sign this evening, contracts and what not and then I’ll be back to pick you up at 5.30am to go to the airport ok?”

“Yeah cool” was all Kim could answer.

Ash grabbed his coat and said goodbye to his mom as he reached the door he turned to Kim and said “Thanks for getting me out of a tight spot, it means a lot.”

Kim smiled and nodded at him, she watched as Ash close the door behind him then let out a loud shriek. “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” She turned to Jayne who was sitting very smugly in the chair.

“What’s up with your face?” Kim asked.

“Nothing just basking in my genius” Jayne laughed back.

Kim chuckled, “Thanks Jay, this is gunna be amazing, I best go and sort my stuff out n pack then.”

Kim jumped up and grabbed her coat then her face dropped she turned to Jayne and said,“In all the excitement I forgot to ask who was touring, what if I don’t like em?”

Jayne’s smile was now like the Cheshire cat, “I don’t think you will like them, it’s some old has been from America the Backstreet Boys or something”

Kim let out an almighty squeal “OH MY GOD I USE TO LOVE THEM!” she cried, “I didn’t even know they were still going. This is going to be soooo Cool!”

“I know you bloody did you weirdo, now get outta my house n go pack” Jayne laughed.

Chapter 2

“You all ready for this?” Ash asked peering out from underneath his cap.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Kim joked “Now let’s get this party started!”

Ash sighed shook his head at her trying to hide to small smile that had formed on his lips. “What’s that for?” Kim chuckled.

“My girl you’re about the get the shock of your life once you see how much work is involved.”

Kim screwed her face up at Ash, “Party Pooper” she mumbled.

“Your very chipper considering your about to get on a plane.” Ash raised his eyebrow.

Kim’s face dropped Oh snap! She thought. In all the excitement she hadn’t even given the plane journey a second though. It was a well documented fact that Kim wasn’t a good flyer in fact holidays had been cancelled just before boarding because of her fear.
She took a deep breath, suddenly her throat became very dry, causing her to cough and her palms turned clammy.
“Nah it’s all good” she finally managed to force out, trying to sound calm and upbeat. They soon pulled up to the airport, parked the car and headed for the main building to check in. It was pretty quiet in there only a few people were in front of them waiting to check in.

“I think we got just enough time for a coffee and a cigarette before we gotta board. You in?” asked Ash.
“Of course, but I’m buying.” Kim stated, flashing a huge smile.

Over their coffee they chatted about life on the road, the other guy’s they’d be working with and the day to day routine of things.

“We try to rotate the jobs between us as much as we can so we don’t get bored, but don’t worry whatever you’re doing you’ll be working with me so I’ll look after ya!” Ash explained as he gave Kim a friendly one armed hug. “I’ve told the rest of the guy’s all about you, and they can’t wait to meet you. I must warn you though, being the only girl on the team your probably gunna get some stick, don’t take it to personally and laugh it off ok, otherwise it’ll be unbearable. Oh and feel free to give as good as you get.” Ash asserted.

“Oh I will, don’t you worry about that.” Kim laughed.

On the way to the departure gate Kim stopped off to buy some sweets and magazines to keep her occupied throughout the journey and the next few days, although Ash had done his best to let her know what she would be doing she still didn’t quite know what to expect and because she was a rookie she didn’t want to be spends hours just sitting around bored whilst everyone else ploughed on.
As they boarded the plane Ash continued to fill Kim in on the job, and a few inside jokes so she wouldn’t feel left out when she got there. He also brought her up to speed on a few house rules and tour bus etiquette like always locking the door when you get off so no one can sneak on and hide or steal momemtioms or equipment and sleeping with your feet towards the driver so if he braked hard you wouldn’t end up with whiplash.

Before she knew it Kim was touching down in France, it only took a little under an hour to get there and she didn’t realise how much Ash could talk, but she was grateful it made her not think about the fact she was in the air once. They managed to get through customs pretty quick and outside there was a car waiting to take them to the venue. The show wasn’t kicking off for another two days but Ash needed to be one of the first there so he could check over the equipment and venue and get a head start on things. He didn’t want to mess this up it was his first time running a crew he was super nervous about it and had over planned everything.
Once in the car Ash handed Kim a small gift wrapped up in shinny pink paper.

“What’s this?” Kim asked trying to not sound over excited.

“It’s nothing exciting so don’t go OTT on me but it’s just a little something you might need whilst on the road.” he answered as his cheeks turned pink.

Kim tore open the package to find a small pocket sized tool kit in pink, a key chain with her name on and a small silver torch hanging off it.
She looked at Ash slightly puzzled then smiled as he explained to her that things will break down all the time, so it’s handy to have these basic things on you to avoid a hold up just for a lose screw or blown fuse. Kim hugged Ash. “That’s really kind of you, Thank you so much.”

They after around 45 minutes they arrived at the venue, although the show wasn’t starting yet it was amazingly busy there were people everywhere. They jumped out of the car like excited little kids and grabbed their stuff out of the boot. “I’ll take you to the bus we’ll be living off, we’ll dump our stuff and you can pick a bunk.” Ash grinned. “Sounds good to me” Kim replied.

She really couldn’t believe her luck, she was in awe at her surroundings and she hadn’t even seen everything yet. She knew this was going to be the best time of her life and she just couldn’t wait to get started.
After a short walk they reached their new home for the next few months. There was a row of jet back buses with silver writing on them some were double Decker buses and at the back were a few single ones. Ash went straight over to the first single bus where he began talking to a tall dark haired guy who looked a lot older than them both.

“Kim, this is John. He’s part of our team and a good guy, so if you can’t find me for whatever reason just go to him ok?” Ash told Kim.
“Yeah cool” Kim nodded. She lent in to shake John’s hand, “Hi nice to meet you.”
“Aye nice to have you on board pet, be good to have a woman’s touch around the place” John joked.

Kim struggled to fully understand his broad Newcastle accent. “Hey! I’m not here to mother all you men you know don’t be expecting me to be cleaning up after you all” Kim jested. “I wouldn’t dream of it pet, I can see ya gunna fit in just fine.” he laughed turning back to Ash handing him some papers. “I’ll catch up with ya’s after ya’s ‘av settle in then.” Kim and Ash boarded the buses to claim their beds. Kim couldn’t believe her eyes. The bus was amazing it looked like a shiny palace on wheels, really far from what she expected. She was shocked everywhere was so bright, clean and new looking. There was a seating area with leather seats and a huge flat screen TV was positioned in front of them. You could watch movies, listen to music. It had internet access, a Playstion, small kitchen area, shower and toilet. At the back of the bus were the bunks. It was very claustrophobic down there. The bunks were small and cramped and looked a bit like a futuristic holding cell. Ash soon interrupted Kim’s thoughts,

“Grab a bed quick before the other’s come up.” He yelled.

Kim quickly grabbed the bottom bed closet to the door so she could get out quickly if she felt too trapped. God she was so excited she thought she’d burst, trying to take a few minutes to let it all sink in she jumped as Ash loudly spoke.
“Ok let’s grab a coffee and we’ll have a look around the venue see what it’s like.”
“Sweet!” Kim answered, still unable to remove the crazy grin taking over her face.
As soon as they got off the bus people flooded straight to Ash to see how he was and begin venting their issues, he was trying his best to listen to everyone but he really needed to see the venue. As best he could he gave out quick fix solutions so they’d back off. Kim felt a little sorry for Ash, he’d only been there 5 mins and was already swamped, maybe the job wasn’t as awesome for him as Kim had imagined.
They walked around for a few hours Ash introduced Kim to everyone and was able to talk her through what she’d be doing. It seemed so much easier to understand what he meant with the use of aids and seeing the stuff Ash kept referring to as a solid item. Just then a small stocky man appeared with a clip board and a head set looking rather flustered.
“Oh thank the lord your here!” he said, throwing his hands up into the air.

His voice didn’t match his appearance it was quite feminine, this caused Kim to let out a small giggle. Ash raised his eyebrow at Kim he knew exactly what she was laughing at and now all he wanted to do was laugh too.
“Al this is Kim, Kim this is Al. She’s our new recruit.” Ash announced.

“Lovely!” said Al “and I’m sure we’ll get to know each other well over the coming months, but at the minute we’ve got trouble.”

He showed Kim a quick grin before dropping his face back into serious mode and turning to Ash. Kim didn’t know if he was being funny with her or he was really panicking about something, but she gave him the benefit of doubt.
“What’s up?” asked Ash looking rather concerned.

“I’ve just had a message from the boys manager, and they’ve arrived early they want a full run through tomorrow, they’re on their way here now to sort buses and check out the venue before they go to their hotel. OMG Ash! What are we going to do? Some of the stuff won’t even be arriving till late tomorrow they’ll be so upset with us.”
Kim was locked in a trance as she watched the strange mans hands flying around everywhere whilst he explained the drama of it all.

Ash turned to Kim and whispered, “Drama queen!” shaking his head.

“Oh, I am not you cheeky devil.” the man spluttered as he slapped Ash’s Arm and kept rolling his eyes for effect.
Ash turned to Kim, “Look I just gotta go make a few calls and get sorted will you be ok for a bit?”
he felt bad for having to leave her already but didn’t want her to have to sit with him bored out of her mind.
“Yeah, yeah you do what you gotta do mate. I’ll be fine honest.” Kim quickly reassured him.

Ash handed Kim a walkie talkie which he pinched of the side of Al’s tight jeans.

“If you need me for anything, you can get me on this ok. I promise I won’t be long but it looks like we’re gunna be starting work tonight instead of tomorrow.”

He rolled his eyes trying to make light of the situation but Kim could tell he was getting stressed.

“It’s cool honestly, go and get sorted and I’ll go get another coffee. Looks like I’m gunna need it.” Kim Joked.
Ash nodded and walked away with the funny man. Kim watched him for a bit and laughed at him. Ash had not had time to get a haircut before coming away because of sorting Kim out so he was constantly fighting to keep strands of highlighted hair from falling into his eyes as he tried to calm down the over active man. Kim took a deep breath and headed for the coffee stand she knew it was going to be a busy time tonight and it looked like she’d have to work even harder at keeping Ash de-stressed.
She grabbed a coffee and headed outside for a cigarette before she started mucking in, who knew when she’d get chance for another break if things were so hectic.

Once outside a big black minivan came zooming past her, “Twat!” she shouted out as it nearly sent her flying back inside the arena.
She pulled up an empty box that had been left outside the doors to sit on. She had the perfect view of the entire goings on so she sat there watching the toing’s and froing’s trying to suss everyone out.
The black van came into view again. Bloody idiot! She thought. I don’t know how some people get driving licenses!
She watched as a very large man jumped out of the van and opened the sliding door. Two ladies got out they looked kind of important with big sunglasses, oversized bags and lots of papers everywhere. Then one by one 4 men jumped out, each took a huge stretch and jumped about trying to wake their bodies up.
As she placed her coffee on the floor and lit a cigarette she watched the antics of each man.
The first was a small dark haired man messing with what looked like a phone, he looked quiet tired but kept smiling all the time.
Then she noticed the next guy who was a little taller but she couldn’t really see his features as he was wearing a cap and glasses he looked quite chilled and laid back as he leaned up the black van and lit a cigarette.
Her attention was then caught by the very tall guy and his friend who were messing around pretending to do kung fu moves to each other; she let out a little giggle as the shorter man made some howling noises and adopted a karate kid pose.

Then it suddenly dawned on her who they were,

Frigg me! That’s never the bloody Backstreet Boys, WOW!
They’ve got old but defiantly aged well since I was a fan.
She continued to sit there sipping her coffee fascinated by the 4 grown men playing in front of her occasionally getting scolded by a small, dark haired lady who was trying to make some calls.
Kim soon drifted off into daydreams of her youth and lost friendships of the years she was a fan, until she was interrupted by Ash on the walkie talkie,

“Kim, Kim, come over to the main arena we’re ready to assign jobs now and get started.”

She picked up the black handset and brought it to her mouth.

“I’ll be right over boss.” She replied back.
She took a huge stretch and reluctantly headed off to get her orders for the evening leaving the entertainment she’d been watching to continue.

Chapter 3

Kim was awoken by Ash’s phone continually ringing.

“God dam!” she muttered. “That boy would sleep through the end of the world.”

She dragged herself out of her bunk, gabbed Ash’s phone of the ledge and threw it at him. It landed on his chest causing him to jump out of his sleep and bang his head on the roof of the bus.
“What the f!” he grumbled as it started ringing again.

Kim walked into the next part of the bus and flicked the kettle on, she giggled to herself as she replayed what had just happened in her head. She checked the time on her phone it was a little after 8.30am, as she wiped the sleep out of her eyes she checked her reflection in the mirror.

‘Dam’ she thought. ‘3 hours sleep really doesn’t look good on me, this is gunna take a lot of cover up!’
They had worked pretty much all night setting stuff up in the arena, thanks to the surprise rehearsal. Ash shortly appeared at the door way looking a little worse for wear.

“That was Al; the delivery will be here in within the hour, so it’s all systems go again.” He chuckled.
“How ya feelin?” He asked looking into Kim’s blood shot eyes.

“Could of done with another 10 hours sleep,” she jested “but I’m ok really, apart from some achy arms” she rolled her eyes at Ash.
“Get use to it matey.” he winked at her.
Kim began making them both coffees as she asked “So what’s the plan for today?”

Ash grunted “Well it’ll be another couple of hours before delivery arrives and is unloaded, the boys will be in for their rehearsal around 9.30-10am but I’ve explained to their manager we’re just gunna have to work around them. She seemed pretty cool about it though.”

“Super” Kim muttered.
“Awwwww is someone a little grumpy because she’s tired?” Ash mocked Kim as he patted her head.
Kim just glared at him too tired to retaliate.
“Don’t worry about today, it’ll be an easy one. We should be finished by about 2pm so you’ll have the rest of the day to chill out n sleep. Thanks to the early set up you’ll get most of tomorrow off too, we just have to be here for the last run through which is 2 till 4. Easy!” He laughed. “Lovely” Kim sighed. “I’m gunna go freshen up then I’ll be good to start all over again” She muttered as she gulped down the last of her coffee.
“Cool I just gotta make a few calls then I’m gunna do the same, oh I forgot to tell you your work T-shirts have arrived. I’ll leave them on your bunk for you.” Ash shouted after Kim as she made her way to the shower.


Kim was half way up a ladder adjusting some leads as the Backstreet Boys arrived inside the arena, she hadn’t noticed them talking to Al underneath her. She was trying her best to tear off a bit of duct tape with one hand as she held onto the ladder for dear life with the other. She was getting annoyed with it now and her temper was getting the better of her when it slipped out of her hand. She looked down to see it falling to the floor, she noticed the 6 men standing right next to her ladder, she instantly yelled out

“WATCH YOUR HEADS!”

Everyone looked up at her, with that AJ stretched his hand out to catch the falling tape. He caught it with one hand and looked quite pleased with himself for his quick responses.

Kim held a hand up and yelled down
“SORRY!”
she smiled broadly, hoping she wouldn’t get into trouble for nearly knocking them out.

Al glared up at Kim and tutted as he began faffing around the boys apologising.
“Hey don’t worry about it, better luck next time.” Brian shouted up.

“Dude!” AJ responded back to his friend looking like a scolded puppy.
Kim was laughing at AJ’s sad face as Howie joked “Come on like that would have knocked any sense into you anyway.”
“What’s this lets pick on AJ day?” he retaliated.
Kim was laughing so much she hadn’t noticed Nick just standing there, staring at her, totally oblivious to the goings on around him.
AJ looked back up the ladder and shouted “Do you still need this?”

“Oh, yeah” Kim shouted back “but you can just leave it on the chair there and I’ll come down for it in a minute.”
Before Kim had even finished AJ had whipped his jacket off and was clambering up the ladders to her. He was going rather fast causing the ladders the shake a little Kim grabbed on with both hands to steady herself.
As AJ reached Kim he handed her the roll of tape and said in his best English accent,
“There you go my dear.”
Kim smiled. He was only a step or 2 down from her so they were pretty close. She was immediately entranced by his eyes; they were like magnets drawing her deep into his soul.

“Errr Thank you.” Kim suddenly remembered to speak again as she shot out of her daze.

AJ took hold of her hand and gently kissed the back of it as he said
“You’re very welcome.”
He gave her a cheeky grin and with that he flew back down the ladders jumping off the last few steps.
“You’re a real smooth operator.” Howie teased him as he hit the floor.

Brian shook his head as he dropped it into his hands.

Their manager then called them from the stage to get a move on. AJ took a last look up the ladder and winked, as they walked off Brian saluted up to Kim and Howie waved. She waved back trying to contain her school girl giggles,
she then she noticed Nick who was still just standing there staring at her. She looked down at him and admired the blueness of his eyes. His hair was quite short now she remembered as a kid how much she loved his bright blonde curtains, but wow he was even cuter now. She was beginning to feel a little awkward and wondered why was he staring at her like that? Was he waiting for her to apologise specially to him for dropping the tape?
“NICK!” a loud voice yelled to him from further down the aisle, it was Brian. “Come on man, what are you doing?”

Nick jolted back to reality he kinda looked like he’d had a memory relapse and forgotten where he was. He quickly blinked a few times and headed towards the stage, as he got half way he turned around and looked back up to the ladder he reached Brian who suddenly pounced on him and got him in a head lock. Brian must have been asking him what he was doing but it was out of hearing range for Kim to understand what was being said.
‘How weird’ Kim thought to herself, ‘what the hell was that all about?’
Kim was feeling a little freaked out but she shook it off she needed to hurry up and finish off so she could get back to bed.
Kim carried on with her work but kept an eye on what was going on, on the stage. Every now and then she’d laugh to herself at the guy’s messing around, they were really funny and she was shocked at how good they sounded live, even though they were mostly messing around singing different words.
Although Kim had liked them when she was younger she’d never got the chance to go to one of their shows, but hey, she’d be making up for it now, hell she get to see them pretty much every night for the next few months.
As Kim taped down the last few leads Ash appeared.

“Hey stranger” she said when she saw him.
“Hey to you to,” he smiled back “You nearly done? I think it’s about time we had a break.”

“Yep all finished.” she responded. She kinda wished she had some more to do so she could watch the boys for a bit longer, but hey a coffee and a doughnut were a good substitute for her.

Outside the sun was shining down on Kim as she sat on her box chatting away to Ash.
It was winter time so the air was pretty cold and her grey hoodie wasn’t keeping her as warm as she’d like.
Ash’s phone began to ring again. It was his ex girlfriend. They’d split up nearly 4 months ago but she couldn’t let go and rang him at least twice a day. Ash rolled his eyes as he saw the caller ID flash up.
“I best take this else I’ll end up with 100 missed calls and messages.” He sighed. “You want me to grab you a coat from the bus you look a bit cold?”

“Yes please.” Kim quickly answered before he headed off.
Kim sat there with her arms wrapped around herself, bouncing her knees up and down trying to generate some warmth. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her IPod for entertainment. She flicked through her song lists and came across some power ballads. That’ll do me, she said to herself nothing like some 80’s rock to cheer you up.
She chuckled as she put the earphones in and turned up the volume. As she bopped her head along to the music she tried to light her cigarette but was having no luck with her lighter as the flint had gone.
Suddenly a flame appeared before he face, she jolted back from the shock nearly falling off the box, and looked up to see AJ standing in front of her.

“Need a light English?” he enquired.
Kim smiled and leaned in to light the cigarette. “

Cheers” she said as she blew out the smoke.

AJ walked around the back of her and grabbed a box. “Mind if I join you?” he asked as he sat next to her.
She laughed “Not at all, make yourself at home.”

“Nice spot you got here” he playfully said. “So you managing to stay out of trouble, English?”

Kim giggled “Yeah, for now” She sat there trying to act chilled out and cool but inside she wanted to burst. She couldn’t believe she was sitting next to a Backstreet boy, let alone beginning a conversation with one, who had appeared to have designated a nick name to her.
The pair sat there for about 10 minutes chatting about the tour and Kim explained how she’d ended up with the job. She was pleasantly surprised at how easy AJ was to talk to, it was just like she was talking to Ash. It probably helped that AJ had his glasses on so she couldn’t be sucked in by those eyes again.
“Cool so we get hang for a while then.” AJ grinned.

‘Wow is this for real’ she thought ‘I doubt we’ll hang but it’s nice of him to say it anyway’ her thoughts continued.
Nick suddenly appeared at the doorway. “AJ” he shouted over. “We gotta get started again, hurry up!”
“Yeah I’ll be done in a minute, Hey come over n say Hi.” He yelled back.

Kim watched as Nick headed towards her, she took a deep breath and kept repeating to herself
‘Be cool, stay calm and for God’s sake don’t embarrass yourself.’

“Hey” Nick said as he reached the two of them.
Kim swallowed hard and managed a “Hey” back to him. She pulled her gaze away from him before it was obvious she was staring, but he was so cute. He was wearing grey sweat pants and a white T-shirt. He’d obviously been working out before the tour his arms were very toned.
“So your working on the tour?” Nick asked finally breaking the silence.

Kim was about to answer when AJ interrupted to give Nick a general overview of Kim’s story about how she got the job.
“Pretty cool ay?” AJ questioned Nick.
Nick nodded before saying “Yeah cool.” His answers very quite blunt like he didn’t want to talk or felt uncomfortable. He turned to AJ “Dude we gotta go man else Jenn will beat us.”
“Alright, alright, we’ll catch ya later then English.” AJ said as he got up from his box.

“Yeah, have fun.” Kim smiled at the two of them, looking at Nick she softly said.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, like wise.” Nick responded and flashed a mouth full of pearly whites at Kim.

She felt like she was about 12 again, her heart began to race and she could feel her cheeks getting warmer.
Nick and AJ headed back inside just as Ash returned with Kim’s jacket. He jokingly chucked it at her so it landed on her face.

“Looks like you’ve warmed up” He teased her. “Now don’t go getting all groupie on me Mrs.”
Kim pulled a face at him “As if” she answered and began to laugh.

“Yeah!, Well I got my eye on you; I’ve seen your type before.” He jested.

Ash sat on AJ’s box and began telling Kim about his phone call. She tried hard to concentrate on what he was saying but she couldn’t get Nick out of her head. She just couldn’t work him out. He was all weird by the ladder then seemed a bit reluctant to make conversation, but he seemed really nice when he said bye, and he defiantly looked nice, she knew that for sure. Oh and that smile Wow!
She continued to get lost in her thoughts, she defiantly understood now how and why girls go so crazy for them, and they were all so sweet and talented.
Ash’s voice suddenly came back into her head as he said,

“A few of us are gunna go get a few beers after we’ve freshened up you in?”
“Hell yeah!” Kim chortled. “Just what I need, Let’s get outta here and have some fun.”

Chapter 4


Kim lay on her bunk listening to sounds of snoring and grunting around her, she was glad she’d be working so hard and be so tired by the end of her day else she’d never get any sleep.
Everyone had been able to take the day off yesterday, the boy’s manager had cancelled the rehearsal to give them a break and mentaly prepare for the up coming tour, but it was back to work today. It was the first show this evening so there would be lots of last minute checks and fixing to do, the boys were also holding a sound check and meet and greet before the show, Kim was excited to see how these things worked, she was told they were chaos so it should be entertaining to watch.
Kim rolled out of her bunk, there was no way she was getting back to sleep so she might as well get up and get some fresh air, the sleeping area became very musky when everyone was in there. She grabbed her towel and wash bag and headed for the shower.

Standing in the shower Kim let the cool water rain down on her skin, she thought about how much she’d enjoyed her day off yesterday. She’d spent it with the rest of the crew, they played golf which was hilarious Kim was so bad at it but at least she wasn’t the worst, then they all went out for dinner and drinks together and finished off the evening with poker and beers.
Kim was grateful for that day it had allowed her to get to know everybody and made her feel like ‘one of the lads’ as she was referred to a few times, but she had this strange feeling sitting in the pit of her stomach throughout the day. Although she didn’t want to admit it to herself she knew that she was actually sad she’d not got to see the boys that day, she'd really enjoyed their antics and how much they'd brightened up her jobs.
As the water cascaded over Kim’s head she became more troubled by these feelings, how on earth could she miss people she didn’t even know? AJ had been super sweet on that 1st day and she was so obviously physically attracted to Nick, but she had to get a hold of these feelings and fast. She couldn’t allow herself to get swept up and caught in the Backstreet Boys phenomenon, her job would be on the line as well as Ash’s reputation, she needed to remain professional and keep a good distance from the boys and everything would be fine. After all it was only for a few months and she’d never get to see them again. What’s the worst that could happen? She grinned to herself.

Ash and a few of the others were sitting watching the TV as Kim came out of the shower room. She was glad she’d took her clothes with her and decided to get dressed before she came out now, even though you couldn’t swing a cat in there embarrassment had been avoided. “Morning sunshine” Ash beamed at her “I’ve just made coffee you want one?”


“Yeah thanks” she answered as she began brushing the tangles out of her hair.
Kim tied her hair back, it was still wet but she couldn’t be bothered to dry it. She grabbed her makeup bag and squeezed in beside Ash and the table. As she began lightly applying her makeup she listened in to the guy’s conversation about who was the best golfer and what needed to be done to day.


Ash lent into her and quietly said “I don’t know why you put that stuff on, you don’t need it.”

She felt her cheeks begin to warm and let out a half smile as she whispered back “It’s just to make me feel better.”

Ash looked at her strangely and shrugged “What do you mean?” he quizzed


“Well just because I’m in a male environment doesn’t mean I have to look like one” She raised her eyebrows allowing her big brown eyes to open up even more.



Ash shook his head a little “Women!” he whispered to himself.


They all continued to sit around and chat about the fun of yesterday,


Ash soon interrupted “Ok guy’s and girls” he turned to Kim and smiled. “Time unfortunately is ticking away, so let’s meet outside the main arena at 10.30am for a team talk and you can all get your itineraries for the next week.”

Everyone let out a playful groan “Jeez you’re a slave driver boss” one of the men joked


“Yeah yeah I’ve not even begun yet” Ash jested to the group. He turned to Kim “Wanna get some breakfast before we start? You can help me sort some papers out too if you don’t mind.”
“So I’m your secretary as well am I?” Kim asked
“Well you do wanna still like a girl.” Ash teased as he pretended to flick his hair.

“OI YOU!” Kim screeched as she began the chase for Ash.

--------------At the Boys Hotel-------------------

Nick lay on his bed staring at the ceiling; he’d been awake for hours, in fact he’d not been able to get much sleep at all, he just couldn’t get the girl up the ladders out of his head.

This is insane he thought to himself, why am I so intrigued by one woman? I only seen her for about an hour the other day, I don’t even know her.
His thoughts were interrupted by Howie who had entered his room.
“Hey dude, what’s up?” Howie asked as he spotted his friend slumped on his bed.


“Ah it’s nothing, just getting my head ready for this evening.” Nick responded trying to sound his usual self.

“Yeah, I know what you mean this tour is gunna be awesome.”
Howie played along with Nicks answer but he knew something was troubling him, he was normally as hyper a hell at the beginning of a tour and he was so quite yesterday during their interviews.


“So what time is it now? Are we heading to the venue yet?”
Nick tried not to sound to over egger as he sat up on the bed.

Howie eyed his friend, something was defiantly up but he decided not to push Nick, he’d tell when he was ready, he always did.
“It’s a little after 9am, we’re not going till 1pm”


“1pm!” Nick piped up

“Yeah 1pm” Howie said a little bemused by Nick’s response.

Nick threw himself back down on the bed. He just wanted to get there and get started so his mind wouldn’t be so consumed by his crazy thoughts.


“Are you sure you’re ok man” Howie took a step closer to the bed.


Nick let out a huge sigh “Yeah I’m cool bro, just excited to get out there you know, I hate the waiting around.”

“Look a few of us are going for a swim, chill out a bit before the storm starts, you in? Howie asked.

Nick looked up “Yeah why not, I’ll grab my stuff and be down in a minute.”


As Howie left Nick got up and walked over to the mirror, he took a good, long look at himself. His noticed his hair was growing back nicely, just needed a few highlights put back in, he rubbed his eyes then rested his hands on the counter underneath the mirror.
He breathed deeply trying to compose himself.
Jeez I gotta shake this it’s crazy, I’ll be fine once we get to the venue and start getting ready for the show I won’t have time to think.
He stared hard at the man in the mirror as images of Kim began to make their way back into his mind, then slammed his fists down onto the counter.
Get a fucking grip Nick he growled to himself.
If you think you like her then go talk to the girl get to know her. Yeah she’s cute but she probably got the personality of a dead fish. But she can’t actually be that bad, AJ seemed to like her and he’s usually a pretty good judge of character.
He breathed deeply and turned to grab his stuff then headed out of his room to meet up with his friends.


As he got to the elevator he bumped into Jenn.

“Hey you, you coming for a swim?” Jenn smiled at Nick.

“Yeah just heading that way now” He responded quietly.


“Everything OK?” Jenn question him “You look a little, well, somewhere else.”


“Erm, yeah I’m Cool. Err I was just thinking, is going to the venue at 1pm a good idea?” He looked at Jenn to see her glaring at him.


Although she was one of the best managers Nick had, had, he knew she didn’t really take well to her plans being questioned.


He quickly added “It’s just that, well because we not gotta rush around it would be cool to be able to settle into the bus, you know chill out a bit in my new surroundings.”


Nick stuck a fake smile on the end of his statement hoping Jenn wouldn’t go off at him. She stood there for a few minutes as they entered the lift to his surprise she finally said.

“I guess leaving a little earlier could be an option, might be nice to have some extra free time instead of having to rush around.”

She pondered the idea for a few more minutes then turned to Nick and said.
“Yeah I think that’ll be a good idea Nick” she nodded her head a few times then repeated “Yeah I think we’ll do that.”

“So what you think then we get going about 11ish?” Nick continued to press the matter trying to secure his need to get to the venue.

“Yeah we’ll say ready to leave at 11 then but no rush if it’s a bit later” Jenn replied.


Nick sighed I guess that’ll have to do, it’s better than nothing. He said to himself as he followed Jenn to the pool.

Chapter 5

Where has the time gone? Kim looked down at her watch it was getting on for 1.30pm. It had turned out to become a pretty busy day helping Ash get himself sorted. She headed over to the drinks stand and got herself a bottle of water, as she took a slow walk around the arena she noticed a huge line of girls outside the doors, they must be the sound check people she thought to herself. She scanned the line of girls and noticed a few guys in there to. A few looked like they’d been dragged there by their girlfriends and they weren’t too impressed by the screams every time a member of staff walked past the entrance. As Kim turned to walk away she collided with a bearded, shaggy haired fella and spilt a bit of her water down herself.
“Ah man, I’m so sorry” The guy cried.

“Hey don’t worry about it, it was my fault. I should have been looking where I was going not staring at a bunch of people waiting to get in.” Kim apologized.

The guy looked at Kim before asking “So I’m guessing you’re the girl working with the stage crew?”

Kim looked at him slightly puzzled, what did he mean by that? She wondered.

“I guess I am” she snapped back at him feeling defensive.

Sensing the tone to her voice the guy quickly added
“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude, it’s just well, we never really get girls doing this job so when one appears it kinda gets noticed you know?” he tried to laugh it into a joke but Kim felt a little uneasy.

She began to think she wasn’t wanted there because of her gender, and everyone was talking about her and didn’t think she was able to do the job.
Her eyes began to water slightly it was the first time since she got there that she’d felt so self conscious and out of place.
The guy noticed the look on her face and tried to rectify his comment.

“Hey if I’ve made you feel bad I really didn’t mean too, it was just an observation don’t take it to heart, seriously dude, it’s cool to have a fresh face around the place.”

Kim took a deep breath and pulled herself together, if she was in a man’s world then she couldn’t show a weakness, she needed to well ‘man up’.

The guy stuck out his hand towards Kim. “Hey I’m Justin” he said with a smile.

Kim shook his hand “Hey I’m Kim” she replied with a half hearted smile.

“Wanna see something cool?” He asked her.

Kim nodded feeling she needed a cheering up.
“Watch this” Justin beamed.

He turned around and headed towards the door taking some keys out of his pocket. As the girls noticed him they let out an almighty roar. Justin stopped just before the door and pretended to mess with his keys before looking up at the crowd and signalling he’d not got the right key for the door.
Kim burst out laughing at the crowd’s reaction. Justin headed back towards Kim laughing at himself.

“Oh man, that’s just mean” She said between the giggles

“You wanna know the best bit?” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

Kim nodded.

“I don’t even have the keys to this place. I work for the guy’s, I co-ordinating the meet and greets” he added trying to catch his breath from the laughs.

Kim threw her hand to her mouth
“Oh them poor girls” she gasped but soon began laughing again as Justin headed back out into the foyer only to turn around half way and come back.
The screams were deafening.

Kim shook her head “That’s just, just mean, funny, but mean”

“It’s all good fun get’s them ready for when they come in” he laughed. “Well I best go and get a time check off the guys” he added.
“Are they already here?” Kim asked her stomach began to feel funny again.

“Yeah, we’ve been here for a few hours now. They’ve been hiding out in their buses out of sight from the crazies.”
“Cool, well I’ll see ya around then, hope you don’t get beat up by angered fan when you let them in” Kim taunted.
“Yeah I’ll get beat on one day” he joked back, “well if you get bored over the coming weeks n wanna play make the fans scream you know where to find me.”

He flashed a smile at Kim as he headed off out the back.
“Thanks, I might just do that” she yelled after him.
Chuckling to herself Kim made her way around the arena to the sound desk to find Ash, she was glad that guy didn’t turn out to be a jerk and he seemed kinda cool, she soon pushed the feelings of being an outcast to the back of her mind, as she pulled herself up to the platform the sound desk was on and found Ash and John checking the stuff over.

“Can I do anything?” She asked
“Nah not at the minute just hang around in case there’s any problem with the mic’s when they start n you can change them for me” Ash told her still engrossed in what he was doing.

She sat herself down on the edge of the platform and let her legs swing down.

Ash looked down at her and smiled as he watched her examining her surroundings looking like an excited little child.
Kim turned around to catch him watching her causing him to blush for getting busted.
“Sound check should last about an hour” he informed her “then we’ll go grab a burger or something before the show starts and we’re back to work.”
“So where do you want me this evening?” she enquired,

Ash n John let out a little laugh

“Ergh you guys are gross that didn’t even sound dirty!” she tutted at their behaviour.
Ash was still chuckling as he answered, “you can just hang about for the first few shows see what’s what and how things work, the more you watch the more you’ll learn then you can take on specific roles.”
“Great another lackey role” she huffed causing Ash to role his eyes at her

“You’re not a lackey you’re learning the ropes, we’ve all been there mate.” he protested.

“Yeah I get it, I’m just messing with ya” Kim explained.

She didn’t mind really, it meant she got to watch the show’s more closely.
Ash’s face suddenly screwed up and he cursed. “

What’s up?” Kim asked.
“We gotta lose wire somewhere, wanna come investigate with me?” He grinned.

“Yeah sure” she said getting to her feet, “So where do you think it is?”

Ash smiled at her as he pointed up, Kim looked up to see lots of lights attached to metal frames. She swallowed hard before asking the dreaded question,

“So how do we get up there?”




The next thing Kim knew she was strapped into a harness and making her way across the arena some 30ft in the air. There was a small ledge which they used to get around to the lights they needed to check, as Ash sifted through endless wires Kim watched as hoards of people entering the arena and being ushered into seats, after a few minutes the boys appeared on the stage the screams were so loud it made Kim wince.
“Crazy in it” Ash looked down at the goings on.
“Yeah crazy” Kim muttered as her gaze fixated onto Nick.

She watched as the boys played the fans up jumping off the stage and sang a few songs.
Kim quickly forgot she was up so high and meant to be learning stuff for her job as she lightly lent on the safety bar to watch the guys showing off below her. Next up was a questions and answer session, Justin appeared again and was going around with a microphone to each person picked to answer a question,
As Kim was laughing at Brian’s answer to the last question she noticed AJ had spotted her and was waving franticly in her direction. She felt extremely embarrassed as everyone below began turning to look up at her.

“Oh great” she said to herself but the words escaped a little louder than expected causing Ash to take notice of the situation.

AJ got off his stool and spoke loudly through the microphone.
“Hey everyone say Hi to English, she our newbie.”

Like a sea of robots below her 90% of the crowd waved up to her and shouted Hello. Her face felt like it was on fire and she shyly waved back down. She looked at AJ and shook her head as he fell about in a fit of laughter.
Brian quickly brought the attention back to the boy’s by singing lots of hellos in strange voices; Kim smiled back down to him and nodded her head acknowledging his way of taking the spot light off her. Brian then nodded to Justin to get the meet and photo’s underway.

“Fuckin idiot!” Ash suddenly blurted out.
Kim spun round to see Ash glaring down at AJ “What’s up?” she asked.

“Who does he think he is? Ash snapped back shaking his head in disgust.
“What’s your problem man? He was only joking around, it’s no big deal, and he’s cool.” Kim tried to defend AJ’s actions, but couldn’t believe Ash’s reaction.
Ash’s eyes narrowed as he looked down on Kim.
“Yeah well the joke will be on you when you got a 100 girls bitching about ya and he’s still a fuckin God!”

Kim was shocked she’d never seen Ash this way before, he was freaking out about nothing what AJ did really wasn’t a big deal to her. She stood there open mouthed just staring at her friend. Ash’s face suddenly softened as he looked into Kim’s worried eyes and he dipped his head feeling slightly remorseful.
“Look I’m sorry” he finally said “I shouldn’t have snapped like that, I just don’t want you to end up getting into something that’ll either hurt you or you’ll regret. I’ve spent time with guys like these before there’s always another city with another girl in it. Just be careful ok.”

Kim shook her head at him not knowing what to say. Ash knew she wasn’t the kind of girl to just jump into bed with any guy so what was his problem and even if she did it had nothing to do with him, she wasn’t stupid.
Ash let out a heavy sigh “I’m sorry”
Kim rolled her eyes but no matter what she couldn’t stay mad at Ash.
“Thanks for looking out for me n all but seriously Ash it’s nothing, a joke to pass sometime. I’m really not looking for, wanting or expecting anything and I get the ‘being on the road’ thing ok.”

She smiled at Ash and gave him a hug trying to make him feel better but underneath she was still a bit freaked out by his OTT rant.
“We all done?” she asked desperate to get out of there.
“Yeah! Let’s get outta here a bit ay?” Ash smiled back at her.

Down on the floor Nick found it hard to concentrate on his work once he spotted Kim. Whenever he thought no one would notice he kept glancing up at her. He could see she was talking to someone and it looked a little heated, like the guy was telling her off.
Was that her boyfriend or just her boss? Whichever it was it looked like she was in trouble for something. He wondered to himself. Either way he shouldn’t be talking to her the way he was,
he could tell she was uncomfortable by whatever was going on up there.
Nick felt like he wanted to just go up there and tell the jerk to back the fuck off, just then he saw her hug him.
He instantly looked away, like he couldn’t bring himself to watch,
Guess it is the boyfriend then! He said to himself, he tried to take a last look at her to see if things we’re ok but they’d both disappeared out of view, he wasn’t given the chance to continue with his thoughts as his fans were being sent towards him and crying his name in frenzy so he put on his happy face to welcome them trying to push Kim’s image to the back of his mind.


Kim and Ash headed towards the food stand, both trying to keep off the subject of what had just happened.
“Oh crap I can’t find my phone” Kim complained “It must have fallen out my pocket when we were inside.” She began patting herself down hoping she’d come across it.

“I have to go back and check” she continued.
“You want me to come with you and help you look?” Ash offered.

“Nah, I’ll be fine, you go get the food before the queue’s start I won’t be long it’s gotta be by the sound desk where i was sitting.”

She began to jog back over to the arena.
Just as she arrived to the sound desk the last of the fans were leaving for their backstage tour with Howie. Kim searched frantically around where she had been looking for her phone. She bent down to look under the seats by where she was sitting earlier.

“Yes” she cried as she spotted the phone on the floor.

She soon jumped as she felt a hand on her back.

“Are you ok?”
she looked around to see Nick standing behind her. She instantly smiled as she saw him.
“Yeah fine thanks I thought I’d lost my phone, but here it is” She let out a little school girl giggle as she waved her phone at him.
Nick held out his hand to help her to her feet, never removing his gaze from hers.

“Hey, I’m sorry If AJ got you in trouble with your boyfriend earlier, he just likes to mess about and sometimes forgets it can have implications.”
He explained but he was soon interrupted by Kim’s burst of laughter.

His looked at her a little confused as well as embarrassed.
“What?” He questioned.

“Oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh in your face but that’s just too funny, my boyfriend” she continued to howl.

“Am I missing something?” Nick chuckled as Kim’s laugh began to infect him.

Kim finally pulled herself together and wiped away a little tear that had formed from the laughing.

“Oh, Oh, Oh, boyfriend!” she began again.

Nick was now laughing with her even though he didn’t get what the joke was, but her laugh was to infectious to just ignore.

“Ash is not my boyfriend.” She soon managed to explain.
“He’s my best friend’s son, kinda like a brother but so not a boyfriend.”
She abruptly stopped laughing and then continued
“That’s actually quite gross now I think about it.”
“Oh man I’m sorry” Nick said sliding his hand up the back of his neck.
“I just assumed because he looked so pissed earlier.”
“No it’s cool he was just doing the brotherly duty thing.” she smiled back.

“So, erm, is there a boyfriend back home?”
Nick screwed his face up feeling a bit silly for asking but it just kinda slipped out.
Kim flashed a wide smile at him. “No, no boyfriend, I’m err, riding solo as they say.”
Nick beamed as soon as he heard she was unattached.

“Cool, me too” he exclaimed.
Oh NO! Real smooth Nicky he said to himself like she cares anyway!

“So will you be watching the show tonight?”
he asked trying to quickly change to subject and not feel like a dork any longer.
“Yeah I’ll be around” she answered.
“Not sure where I’ll be yet, but I’ll defiantly be here” she smiled.
“Cool, I best get back to work then, the fans will be looking for some autographs and photos about now. I’ll probably see you later then”
his eyes sparkled at Kim.

“Err, Yeah! I’ll see ya later then.”
She repeated as she walked away unable to remove the smile from her face.
Was that a little flirting? She thought. No it couldn’t have been, I’m just reading too much into it he was just being friendly. Gosh he’s so cute though I’m gunna enjoy watching him.

As she reached Ash the huge grin was still glued to her face.
“OK?” Ash asked passing her a burger box and a drink.
Kim nodded “Yeah, it’s all good, found the phone.”

She bit her bottom lip still thinking about the handsome man and the possibilities of what was around the corner.

Chapter 6

It was nearly a week into the tour, it was going amazingly. Each show the boys did just got better and better and there hadn’t been any major problems with the equipment up until now, so it had been a pretty easy run.
Kim’s relationship with the boys was growing stronger by the day, each time they saw her they would go out of their way to speak to her and have a laugh and a joke. Although she would never admit it as she’d sound like a crazy woman, she would sometimes take a longer route or try and time her break so she could bump into them.
She never really got to see Howie and Brian as much, they spent most of their spare time in contact with their families back home, but Nick and AJ would sometimes come sit with her whilst she took a cigarette break or try and get her to join in with their games. Their work schedules conflicted a lot of the time so she couldn’t stop for long, sometimes fans would appear from nowhere and the boy’s would have to go into hiding leaving Kim to fend for herself. She didn’t mind though she quite enjoyed getting to meet so many different people with different stories they needed to share about the boys, the majority of the people she came across were really pleasant and she would end up with her arms full of gifts they wanted her to pass on. One or two of the fans were quiet rude to her and would throw a few insults but she just shrugged it off she felt kinda sorry for them she’d never seen jealousy as a nice feature.
A week on the job had felt like a life time thanks to how well she got on with everyone, she was having so much fun; she never wanted it to end. It would be the last show in France that night and they would be going to Germany next but they had a few days off in between to rest and allow for travel. Kim wanted the next 2 days to go fast, she wasn’t looking forward to not getting to see Nick and AJ, she liked them a lot and loved how they would never make her job feel boring she was always excited to see what each day would bring with them, although she could never admit it to anyone for the drama it would cause Kim knew her feelings for Nick were developing into a crush, but he was so cute and funny and he always made her feel like a woman, which she needed in these surroundings.

Ash watched as Kim was enjoying yet more attention from AJ and Nick. Their manager and another woman and a few security guys were also standing with them all laughing and joking. Kim was spending less and less time with Ash, he kinda hated how well she’d just been able to fit in with that group of people. He’d been doing tours for years and sometimes never even got to say hello to the stars of the show. He quickly shook it off as he saw Kim heading towards him.

“Hey” she said with a huge smile attached to her face.

Although he longed for more attention from Kim he was grateful to the guys for how happy they made her look, she always glowed after being with them.

“Hey you” Ash smiled
“Erm, I’ve just been chatting with the guys and a few of us have decided to fly over to Germany after we’ve finished tonight and stay in a hotel for the next few days. I hope you don’t mind but I put you on the list, I thought you’d prefer a huge warm bed and proper running water instead of the two days cramped on the bus travelling.” He continued.


Kim squealed and threw her arms around Ash,
“OMG your amazing!” she screeched.
Ash’s face lit up in the knowledge that he’d pleased her. That was until he looked up to see Nick jogging towards them.

“Your boyfriend’s coming.” he pretended to tease but harshness in his tone cut through.

“Huh?” Kim spun round to see Nick closing in on her.

She noticed he was messing with something in his hands.
“Hey” he panted, as he reached her “You left this over there.” Handing her, her phone

“Awwwww thanks” she swooned, “I’d lose my head if it weren’t screwed on” she jested.

“No problems,” he flashed those pearly whites again before turning to Ash,

“Oh hey man, we’ve not really had chance to meet, Ash isn’t it?”

Ash eyed the tall man standing in front of him “Yeah, hey” he muttered back

“So,” Nick took a short pause as he tried to think of something to say to Ash,
“you’re doing a great job, the show and the flow of everything is just, great.” Nick awkwardly continued.

“Yeah we do our best” Ash bluntly answered back


“Kim we gotta get stuff sorted you coming” he turned to his friend trying his best to get away from the conversation.

Nick piped up “Yeah I gotta split to, busy, busy!” he looked to Kim and winked
“I’ll see ya around then!” and sprinted off to catch up with his band mates.


Ash never took his eyes of Nick until Kim interrupted him,


“So we gunna get moving then?” she punched Ash in the arm and ran off checking back to make sure he was going to chase after her.



Kim and Ash were staying by the stage for this show so they could get packing stuff away quickly. They needed to be at the airport by 2am so it was important they worked quickly setting down.
Kim hopped up onto a trunk left at the side of the stage,
the view is good considering it was free I’ve never been paid to watch a show before! She laughed to herself.
There was only 10 minutes left till the boys took to the stage, the whole arena was packed out.
Ash came out from behind a curtain separating backstage from the front; he threw Kim a bottle of water and hopped up beside her.
They chatted for a while making sure each knew what they had to do as soon as the last song finished.
Then the lights went down and the crowd went wild, Kim and Ash chuckled to each other and pretended to scream as the boys burst onto stage.
The show was brilliant and the atmosphere was electrifying, even Ash got in the groove and sang along to the bits of songs he knew.
Nick was on fire, the girls were going crazy for him, but he kept moving over to the side of the stage Kim was on and gave her the occasional wink.
She felt very privilege even if there were thousands of girls giving her death stares, she didn’t care at all.

At one point in the show when AJ was speaking to the audience Nick walked over to the edge of the stage, he noticed his towel had fell off and signalled to Kim to pass it up.
Without any hesitation she jumped of the trunk and grabbed the towel, as she passed it up her hands connected with his but neither of them moved from the touch.
Kim’s heart was racing; her whole body became tingly as she looked up into his baby blue eyes. They were so beautiful they sparkled she actually felt her heart skip a beat.

Nick let his finger slide off Kim’s hand as if to give a gentle stroke and mouthed the words “Thank you” as he jumped up.
He wiped his face and threw the towel into the crowd causing a hoard of girls to rush into each other and scream.
Kim turned and headed back to the trunk, she felt like her heart was beating so fast it felt like it was about to break out of her chest. She jumped back up she tried to compose herself as if it was no big deal.
Ash stared at her, because he was so close he’d seen what had just happened. He leant into Kim and whispered

“Please be careful.”

Kim pretended not to hear what he had just said she didn’t want to get into another row about how untrustworthy Ash thought they were and how it was all an act and they were only after one thing.
The show finally drew to a close and Kim and Ash darted off the trunk began working to dismantle attached cables. It didn’t take long at all to get set down, packed away and make sure the buses set off ok.

As soon as the last bus left Kim, Ash and 4 others jumped into a taxi and headed straight to the airport. Kim climbed into the back of the 7 seated cab trying to claim some space for herself but a quiet guy called Andy followed her to the back seat. He kind of made her feel uneasy when he was around he never said much but Kim always felt like he didn’t like her as his dark eyes would always stare straight through her. She uneasily smiled at him then tried to blot him out by listening to the guys chatting away about their plans for the next few days.
Kim’s phone made her jump as it buzzed, she pulled it out of her pocket, there was a message an unknown number,


Thanks for the towel earlier, sorry i didn’t get to see you after but we had to shoot straight off. Nick x

Kim’s eyes grew wide as she read the message over and over, this had gotta be a joke. She scanned the cab to see if it was one of the guys messing with her. She couldn’t see anyone with a phone so she text back,


Anytime! :P No worries I’m sure I’ll see you in Germany LOL BTW how did you get my number?


There was a short pause. Kim tried to get her head around what was happening, her phoned beeped again, causing Ash to take notice.

“Everything alright?” he asked.
“Yeah fine, just a friend checking in” she smiled back at him. She opened up the new message


Oh sorry, I swapped numbers when I found your phone earlier, hope its ok? X


This has gotta be a joke but she instantly replied playing along.

Yeah that’s cool, don’t worry :D Show was great tonight.


Beep, Beep, her phoned sounded.


Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. I gotta go now but looking forward to seeing you again in a few days, have a safe journey over. X


Her heart was pounding as the excitement of what was happening built inside her.


Yeah and you, see you soon, don’t have too much fun without me lol x


Kim sat in awe of the exchanged messages, Wow I can’t believe this, it’s just crazy. She contemplated the events of the past week it’s like a dream she told herself, shit like this just doesn’t happen in real life!
Her thoughts continued as they arrived at the airport. It was a haze as they dashed through it trying to make it to the plane as the last boarding call was made.

“Phew” Ash sighed as he threw himself into his seat. “That was close!”
He looked over to Kim who was still in a daze, “you ok? You’re very quiet!”

“Yeah, fine just a little tired.” she lied. She’d never felt so awake.

“Is everything OK at home? You can tell me if something’s up you know.” Ash persisted.

“At home?” Kim looked at him a little puzzled then remembered what she’d told him in the taxi.
“Nah all is well, I’ll be fine after a good sleep.” she smiled.

Ash let it go he obviously wasn’t going to get it out of her.
“Alright then, we’ll reach the hotel in a few hours, then you can rest up for 2 whole days!” he laughed.
Kim smiled back at him and adjusted herself into her seat; she continued to spend the remainder of her journey lost deep into her thoughts and feelings.

Is something going on here or is all this in my head?
Maybe it’s just a fake feeling; Justin did say being the only girl in my job gets noticed so it’s probably just some kinda fascination to keep him occupied on the road.
I really can’t get swept away by something that’s not real and I mean come on whenever does a famous person fall in love with a roadie, what are we gunna do run off into the sunset and live happily ever after? Oh come on Kim it is what it is a growing friendship just heightened by the surroundings get a grip!

As Kim walked through her hotel room door she threw herself face down onto the huge double bed waiting for her, she rolled onto her back and promised herself that she would just pack these thoughts of crushes and anything other than a friendship to the back of her mind and enjoy the next two days as much as she could. Who knows what would be just around the corner.

Chapter 7

Kim was woken by the hotel phone ringing. She sleepily lifted her head off the pillow and stretched out her arm to grab the phone beside her.

“Hello” she croaked.

“Hey sleepy head” she instantly recognised Ash’s voice.

“Oh hey what’s up?” she threw her head back down on the pillow and let the receiver rest beside her ear.

“We’re going down for breakfast soon, you comin?” he asked.

Kim let out a huge yawn, “yeah give me 10 mins and I’ll be ready”


“Ok we’ll knock your door as we’re passing in 10 MINUTES” he shouted down the phone to make sure she stayed awake.
“Yeah, yeah 10 mins I got it!” she replaced the receiver and rolled herself out of the comfy bed.

She made her way to the bathroom and turned the shower on and began to undress she’d feel asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow so she still had yesterdays clothes on.
She stepped into the shower and let the cool water drench her skin causing Goosebumps to appear and smiled to herself as thoughts of last night’s encounter during the show and the texts after engulfed her mind again.
The cool water rained down on her face while she stood there trying to wake up, but all she really wanted to do was sleep through the next few days so she could see Nick again.
She turned the shower off and hunted around with her hand for a towel. There was a loud knock at the door,
that’s never 10 minutes already! She muttered to herself.
“COMING” she shouted out. She quickly dried herself off and dug her hand deep into her oversized bag mooching around inside for clean underwear and clothes.
The door banged again “2 Minutes, I’m just putting my shoes on” she yelled as she tried to untwist her underwear which had become tangled from her still wet skin.
She franticly searched for clothing she noticed a pair of black skinny jeans which she slipped on and a white vest, she ran a brush through her hair then tied it up in a messy bun.
She opened the door trying to get her UGG boots on.
Ash and the others were standing there looking a little unimpressed by their wait.
Ash shook his head as she appeared.

“Girls!” he uttered.

“Sorry guys.” Kim pouted showing off her best sorry face, looking like the cat in Shrek as her eyes got bigger and bigger.
The guy’s just laughed at her and headed for the elevator.



Kim was shovelling bacon and eggs into her mouth as fast as she possibly could, the food was so good. She was in mid mouthful when she heard a loud screech,

“ENGLISSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!” A voice boomed from across the room.

Kim turned around to see AJ, Brian, Howie and their entourage standing by the breakfast counter, her face soon lit up as Nick walked in behind them.
Nick stopped in his tracks as he saw her and instantly beamed that amazing smile.
The whole group headed towards Kim’s table with AJ in front leading his troops.

“Oh great!” Ash muttered under his breath.
Kim didn’t acknowledge his comment; she was to in shock that they were there.
Brian and AJ pulled a few empty tables over to join Kim’s and everyone squeezed round.

“Excuse these fools.” Jenn spoke through the mayhem they’d caused,
“Do you mind if we join you?” she continued.

“No not at all.” Kim smiled back at her.
As the crowd went to get their food Kim glanced around the table to see if her co-workers minded that they had been joined.
They didn’t seem bothered at all they just continued with their food, Ash however looked a little displeased.

“Did you know they’d be here?” Ash snapped.
Kim shot him a glare, “How could I have known where they were if I didn’t even know where I was? What a coincidence ay, there all really nice and friendly though, this could be fun”
She was trying to put a positive spin on the situation.

I guess Ash really wanted a break from his work she thought to herself.
They all came back from getting their food and both groups sat around their tables chatting and joking. Kim glanced around to check on the atmosphere, it was nice to see everyone bonding so well and talking to each other like they been friends for years, even Ash was glued to an in depth conversation with Brian about guitars or something.

Nick caught her eye and smiled at her causing her heart to flutter, she smiled back before dropping her eyes to her coffee cup. Nick giggled knowing he’d caused her to blush and leant back into his chair.
He didn’t get into any ones conversations, just spoke when spoken to but he was happy enough to just sit there and pretend he wasn’t watching Kim who seemed to be getting a grilling about her life from Jenn and the other two ladies with her.
“So what have you guy’s got planned for the day?” Howie asked through a mouthful of cereal.

Kim looked at her colleagues and shrugged her shoulders.

“I dunno, we’d not really made any plans had we?” she gestured to her friends.

“Cool, you can hang with us if you want, the hotel have closed off the indoor pool for us for a few hours, if you fancy a little water sports? Howie offered.

The rest of the guys nodded, but then looked to Ash for approval.


“Yeah sounds cool” he finally answered looking a little more comfortable with the situation.

Kim sat there quietly, she loved swimming but felt a bit self conscious about being in her bathing suit around everyone.

At least there’ll be 3 other girls there she said to herself.
“What about you, you in?” Nick asked Kim across the table.

She pulled down her top lip with her teeth as she gave it a little more consideration,
“Yeah why not” she finally answered, at which point AJ jumped up.

“Woo hoo, party at the pool” he jokingly shouted as he raised his two hands into rock signs.

Everyone finished up their food and drinks and agreed to meet down at the pool in half an hour.


Kim was the last person to arrive at the pool and was greeted by AJ shouting,

“Hey English is here!”
She smiled and looked around the room, everyone was spotted in and around the pool either in a conversation or playing a game of catch.
She felt a little self conscious as she placed her towel down on an empty lounger, her back suddenly became a little wet, she spun around to see Nick had come to the side of the pool and was flicking water at her.

“You getting in? We’ve been waiting for you!” He said through a smile.

She let out a nervous fake laugh, worrying that now she would have to take her sweats and T shirt off with everybody watching.
Nick swam to the other side of the pool so she didn’t feel uncomfortable with him so close, he leant against the side and watched as she removed her sweats and carefully folded them placing them on the seat, he knew he shouldn’t be watching but he couldn’t peel his eyes away as she slowly lifted her T shirt up to uncover a tattoo sitting at the base of her back, it was quite a large tattoo but looked very pretty on her.
Nick suddenly felt himself becoming aroused as she removed the T-shirt to expose the rest of her back.
She was wearing a plain black halter neck bikini with boy shorts.
Nick continued to explore her body with his eyes noticing 2 more tattoo’s a small symbol on her shoulder and something around her ankle that trailed off onto her foot, as she turned around to face him he admired her physique, she was well toned but curved in all the right places, defiantly in good shape for the job she was doing.
He desperately tried to think of something else as she made her way to the side of the pool he couldn’t risk getting caught with an erection in the pool there were too many people around.
Kim knew he was staring at her but ignored it hoping to avoid any embarrassment between them both. She entered the water like an elegant swan and made her way over to Nick, as she passed AJ he shouted out,

“looking good English!” and gave her a huge smile.

Her face instantly went bright red but she tried to forget about it by laughing at him as he tried to play catch but couldn’t see properly because he still had his sunglasses on.

As Kim reached Nick she was about to talk to him when one of the guy’s began trying to get a game of water polo going with everyone, they were all beckoned over to the centre of the pool.
Teams were quickly picked by captains AJ and Brian, Kim and Nick ended up on opposite teams but Nick didn’t mind this it meant he could mark her and be able to stay close to her.
The game commenced and Kim couldn’t stop laughing as the testosterone levels quickly soared and the boys became really competitive attempting to get points. AJ threw the ball towards Kim, she tried to leap out of the water to reach it but was pulled back down by Nick allowing the ball to carry on over her head and get caught by Howie.
Kim flicked water in Nick’s face

“Oh you’re in for it now” She joked and tried to dunk him under the water but he was a lot stronger than her so he ended up putting her under water instead.

As she surfaced Nick grabbed her around the waste feeling how her wet skin glided through his hands he became aroused again but he just didn’t wanna let go of her. Thoughts of what he wanted to do to her filled his head, he watched tiny beads of water trickle down her chest till they got lost behind her top.
Kim splashed him with water again and pulled a face at him, he wiped the water from his eyes and looked at her pretending to not be amused by her antics.

“Don’t think I’m gunna let that go” he promised squeezing her tightly and pulling her close into him, he put both hands on the side of her waist, lifted her up and threw her across the pool.

Kim pushed her wet hair out of her face and raised an eyebrow as she shook her head at him still not letting the smile slip from her face.
AJ shouted over to them “Come on you pair, knock it off now and Nicky stop harassing my team mates”

everyone laughed as Nick shrugged his shoulders, raised the palms of his hands to the ceiling and pouted like a naughty school boy protesting he'd done nothing wrong.

The game continued for what seemed like ages and Kim and Nick both found any reason they could to make physical contact with each other but were finding it more and more difficult to let go of each other.
Jenn’s phone began buzzing franticly, “Right, times up guys” she announced from her lounger.

They all looked over to her and scrunched their faces up not wanting to stop the fun.

“Do you have to go now?” Kim whispered into Nick’s ear from behind him.

He tried to quickly compose himself and not concentrate on the fact her breasts we’re pressed against his back.
He took a deep breath. “Erm, yeah we gotta do some phone interviews this afternoon, shouldn’t take too long though.”
They both swam over to the steps to get out of the water; Kim wrapped her towel around herself and sat on the edge of her lounger.
Nick did the same but took his time as he pretended he was looking for something.
The pool empted pretty quickly leaving just them and Andy in there, Kim picked her stuff up and headed towards the door but was stopped by Nick who stood in her way.
“Erm, I don’t know if you have any plans for the rest of the day, but I’ll be finished by 3pm if you wanna hang out after?” Nick nervously asked hoping he wasn’t crossing any lines.
A small smile formed across Kim’s face, “Yeah that sounds cool.”

“Ok, cool so I’ll meet you in the lobby at 3pm then, there’s a nice little area only about 5mins walk away with some cool shops, you wanna take a walk there?” Nick swallowed hard as he gazed into her deep brown eyes.
“Yeah cool” was all Kim could manage to say through the sheer disbelief of what she was being asked.
Nick let out a laugh “Cool” he mimicked “I’ll see you in the lobby at 3 then” Flashing a smile he headed out to catch up with his band mates.
Kim held back and breathed deeply as the butterflies swarmed around her stomach.

So I’m hanging out with Nick this afternoon then, that’s not at all weird is it? Now stop it you’re over thinking again and your making it more complicated than it is. Your gunna get carried away then it’ll get confirmed he’s not interested that way and you’ll feel like a dick for spending far too long worrying about stuff. Go have a good time with your new friend.
After Kim had spent about 10 minutes telling herself off and wondering whether to cancel, she finally snapped back to earth when she noticed Andy was still in the room with her. He was laying on his lounger and looking at her funnily, he really creeped her out and made her feel uneasy, but she half smiled at him trying to be friendly before darting for the exits.

Chapter 8

It was just after 3pm and Kim made her way down to the lobby, filled deep with anticipation about what this would be like. She walked out of the elevator true to his word Nick was there waiting for her.
She smiled as soon as she saw him, he was wearing dark jeans and the bottoms of the legs were half in and half out of the black undone boots he was wearing. Moving her eyes up his body she saw he was wearing a black Jacket which was open showing a white V neck T- shirt on with a grey round neck one underneath and a thin grey scarf hung round his neck. She felt a little under dressed in her black leggings, UGG boots, white vest and long cardigan. Although she had made an effort she felt he was completely out her league.
His hair was longer now than when they first meet and he’d had a few highlights put in which made the colour of his eyes stand out even more. He looked so handsome, cast under his spell Kim forgot to move, she just wanted to stare at him for as long as she possibly could.
Nick soon noticed her and got out of his seat to great her with a sexy smile.

“Hey.”
she said as he reached her.
“Hey to you too.”
his smile still firmly in place
“I wasn’t sure if you were gunna show, you look really nice by the way.”
he added.

Kim let out a small laugh her stomach was doing flips inside her,

“Of course I’d show, how could I let you miss out on hangin with this.” she cheekily winked at him.
He let out a loud laugh “OH I get it, like that is it” he teased and gave her a gentle push. “Come on girlie, let’s get goin.”
“Girlie!” Kim gave him a death stare.
“I’m only messing with ya, come on I wanna show ya this place, it’s so cool.”

The two of them headed out of the hotel and walked for about 15 minutes due to Nick stopping every so often to point things out to Kim and tell her stories about them. Kim loved hearing him speak so passionately about the things he showed her and his past experiences.
Nick then pulled her down a small walkway as they got to the end they were in a courtyard full of little boutique shops.

“Wow!” Kim gasped.
“I know its cool right” Nick triumphantly declared,
“Not many people know about this place so it’s always been pretty quiet whenever I’ve came.”
“It’s beautiful!” Kim wispered as she admired the pretty architecture.


The buildings were like little stone cottages, a golden glow shone out of the wooden windows from the lights inside the shops.
“Watch the floor though, it’s a bit uneven.”
Nick advised as he began to lead Kim across the cobbles.
“There’s a few more shops through there.”
he pointed to an archway.


Kim could see that it lead to a tiny street with the same design of buildings. Nick grabbed a hold of her hand causing her to jump a little and took her into the first shop having to duck his head to clear the doorway.
It was a cute little shop full of hats and accessories, Kim scanned around instantly noticing some of the more outlandish designs.

“I always stock up when I come here”
Nick explained and let her hand go as he made his way round the shop picking out an array of hats and scarf’s.

Kim stopped in front of a selection of knitted berets. She picked a black one up and examined the fine grey stitching on it.

“Try it on.” Nick whispered into her ear.
“Oh I don’t know.” Kim hesitated.

Nick took the hat off her and gently placed it on her head slightly tilting it to the side.


“Perfect!” he nodded and turned to a small elderly lady behind the till,
“We’ll take this one too” he shouted over.

Kim tried to protest but he put his finger up to her lips to stop her.

“I want to.” he softly spoke, looking deep into her eyes.

Kim was becoming increasingly confused by what was happening, as Nick went to pay for his new items she began to try and make some sense of what was going on.
She had so many thoughts and feelings rushing around inside her it made her feel slightly sick, she had only known Nick for a week now and still not fully understood or knew everything about him, but to her it felt like he’d never not been a part of her life.
Every touch, smile, glance, gesture and word they shared became increasingly meaningful to Kim, heightening every sense in her body.

This is absolutely crazy she said to herself.
You need to get a grip on reality.
Knowing full well she was quickly becoming lost in this guy’s world.
But was it something she actually wanted to resist?

They continued to slowly walk around examining the contents of the shop windows and swapping stories as they were reminded of times in their youth from the items.
They stopped in a quaint little coffee shop but Kim insisted she was buying as a thank you for the hat.
They continued to talk with ease and Kim was fascinated by Nick’s stories of his travels around the world although she felt a little silly when she shared hers. They were nowhere near as exciting to her, but Nick loved them and quizzed her endlessly about her life and family, hopes and dreams.

It had begun to get dark now and the golden glow from the shops lit up the cobble stones of the street creating a wet look to the floor.
They walked through the archway and visited a few more shops; Kim couldn’t take her eyes of Nick as he bent down to see through the windows of the shops better, the soft glows of light danced around his face making him look almost angelic.
They turned the corner of the street and heard music playing, there was a small wooden raised area set up in the middle of the street.
It was decorated with a few tiny fake green trees and fairy lights that twinkled like tiny stars in the evening sky were entwined around the barriers.
A few smartly dressed men were sitting beside it playing local instruments.
Kim smiled as she saw four elderly couples, dancing like young lovers, embracing their partners as if taking a trip down memory lane.
“Wow” Kim softly rustled.
“It’s just like something out of a Disney movie” she sighed.

A cheeky grim formed over Nicks face.
“Would the princess like to go to the ball?”
he asked taking a step in front of her and offering out his hand.

Kim blushed and showed a shy smile as she accepted his offer by placing her hand in his. Nick escorted her over to the stage and led her into a space, he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling in her close. Still holding onto her hand he rested them on his chest, she allowed her head to follow and listened to his heart beat through his chest as they swayed in unison together to the subtle music.
Kim took a deep breath and closed her eyes wanting to make sure her mind savoured every thought, every feeling, every smell, touch and sound of that moment so she’d never forget.
Nick rested his head on top of hers feeling a little shaky from all the emotions suddenly swarming around his body, he began thinking to himself trying to understand what was happening to him, he knew he was falling for her but it was scaring the crap out of him, he’d never fell for someone so hard and so fast before and the last thing he wanted was to end up pushing her away by coming on to strong.
He inhaled deeply and caught the faint scent of the fruity shampoo she used. He lifted his head off hers.

This is becoming unbearable, I’m gunna friggin burst in a minute. He said to himself.

Feeling his head sharply lift up Kim raised hers to see if he was ok.
The two looked deep into each other’s eyes both feeling and wanting exactly the same thing, but scared the other didn’t feel that way and would get freaked out if they made their move.
Before Nick could think his head began ever so slowly to dip towards Kim’s.
Kim slowly parted her lips, never once removing her eyes from his. He moved closer and she closed her eyes feeling his warm breath on her as he hovered over her lips causing her to yearn for him even more. Their hands were still in place on Nick’s chest and their closeness allowed them to feel the increase in the others heart beat.
As their lips were about to connect Nicks phone began to buzz pulling them out of their trance.

Both parted and let out small sighs and uneasy smiles, Kim’s eyes fell to the floor and breathed out allowing heart rate to return to normal.
“Timing ay!”
Nick finally said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and trying to break the awkward silence.
Kim raised both eyebrows and showed a fake smile as she tried to make out it was no big deal.
Nick flicked through his phone and tutted,
“It was just Bri wondering where I was, there having a pizza and movie night and wanted to know if I was gunna be there.”
He looked to Kim trying to find some kind of inclination of what she was thinking but he got nothing as she was sporting her best poker face.
“So” he paused “You wanna join?”
Kim so badly wanted to stay with him but the awkwardness of what just happened over beard her.
“Err, I kinda thought I’d check in with Ash n the guys” she quickly responded
“You know what it’s like, gotta keep a good rapport going, don’t want em thinking I’ve deaf’d em off!” she tried to make light of the situation but felt bad as she watched Nick’s face drop.
“Sorry” she quickly added “I’ve really had the best time ever today and I so hope we get to do it again.”
Nick nodded “Yeah me to.”
Kim felt slightly more at ease as she saw a smile creep across his face.

“I guess we better get you back then” he said as he placed his hand on the small of her back to guide her off the platform.


They made their way back to the hotel admiring the scenery around them, the city looked so beautiful as shadows from the street lights danced across it. They didn’t speak as much as on the way there and the atmosphere felt a little edgy.
They made it through the walkway and Kim’s hand brushed with Nicks, he instantly caught a hold of her little finger and wrapped his own around it.
Kim’s heart skipped yet another beat and she looked up to him but he was focused, staring forward. She bit the inside of her mouth gently and secretly smiled, she wished this didn’t have to end why did she think it was a good idea to say she couldn’t have pizza and movies with him. Stupid, stupid, stupid she tortured herself.


They reached the hotel and like the perfect gentleman Nick walked Kim back to her door.

“So, this is me.” she smiled.
There was a small silence between the two as they both wondered if they should bring up what nearly happened in the town.
Kim was the first to break. “I really had an amazing time day, thank you so much for showing your secret place to me.”
Nick smiled down to her but still said nothing.
“So I guess this is goodnight then.”
Kim said trying desperately to stop the silence.

Nick’s face scrunched up to the side as if he was deep in thought.
“Have you any plans for tomorrow?” He finally spoke.
Kim shook her head,
“Nope, just chillin before the madness starts again I guess.”

“Well the guy’s are going to pick up their families tomorrow from the airport, so I don’t have any plans if you wanna hang again?” he hopefully asked.
Kim smiled broadly, “Yeah sounds good.”
Nick took a step closer to her “I really had a good time today too.” He whispered “So I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

He looked over Kim’s head to make a note of what room number she was in. She swallowed hard as he got a little closer.
“Yep see you tomorrow then.” She croaked.
Again their eyes collided and all the feelings from earlier came flooding back to the surface.
Nick bent down slightly and kissed her on the cheek, a loud sigh escaped from Kim but Nick didn’t move far from face as he took another look into her eyes. The scent from her perfume was intoxicating and he felt the world beginning to swirl around him as if he was being sucked into another dimension.
Both inhaled deeply as their body temperature began to rise and their stomach’s bounced around. Kim moved her head slightly and with that Nick gently placed his lips on hers.
Kissing her once, then twice on the third time Kim’s lips parted and Nick gently let his tongue slip inside her mouth.
Kim let out a small moan as she succumb to him, he pulled her tightly towards him leaving one arm wrapped around her waist as he let the other hand slide softly up her side and into her hair.
The kiss became more intense as they explored each other’s mouths with their tongues.
Kim wrapped her arms around his neck wishing to never have to let go of him or this moment.
As they parted Nick gave a last peck on her moist lips.
It would be so easy to open the door, take him inside and release all this tension inside me.
Kim thought to herself.
No I can’t! I need to express some self control here, and it’s only been a week.
Her thoughts continued to play on her mind; she took a deep breath and blew out. Nick let out a small chuckle as he watched her.
“I better let you go then. Your pizza will be getting cold” Kim softly spoke.

Still not taking his eyes off her Nick pulled her in close “but I don’t want to.” and gently kissed her again, cupping the side of her face.
Kim pulled away “I know I don’t want you to go either but” she paused. “But you have to it would” Nick interrupted her “I know and it’s cool. It’s all a bit crazy at the minute.”

Kim felt like she desperately needed to ask what they were doing and where this was going but she was a little scared of what response she might get and didn’t want to ruin such a perfect day so she kept quiet.
“OK so tomorrow then.” Nick said letting out a painful sigh, he looked at her for a response.

Kim smiled back and nodded “yep tomorrow.”

She didn’t want to keep talking as she knew her thoughts and questions would come out so she fumbled around in her bag looking for her key card whilst Nick still hovered over her.
As soon as she found it she looked up to him.

“Tomorrow then.” She repeated.
Nick lightly laughed getting the hint it was time to go.

“OK, sleep well Princess.”
He kissed the back of her hand trying to act chivalrous.
Kim blushed and watched as he headed off for the elevator blowing a kiss as the doors closed.

Chapter 9

Kim was sitting on the end of the bed brushing her hair she hadn’t slept much due the excitement and disbelief of yesterday’s occurrences. Everything had been so perfect and just like a dream a smile formed as she relived the kiss in her mind, he was so sweet and tender. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply remembering the taste of him and a faint hint of his scent came back to her memory.

Kim reached over the bed and grabbed her phone off the table she desperately needed to talk to someone about what was happening and get it straight in her head, but who to call she thought. I can’t exactly phone Jayne in case she says something to Ash it wouldn’t be fair to ask her to keep secrets from her son. She flicked through her phone book looking for some inspiration, being a delicate situation she couldn’t just blurt it out to any Tom, Dick or Harry, that could cause all sorts of problems if word got out, so who could she trust? She stopped on her cousin Grace’s name and paused for a second.
Maybe I just shouldn’t tell anyone as soon as I put it out there its real and what if it ends up as nothing and I look like a fool? Oh fuck it if Grace can’t help me then no one can! And she pressed the call button.

“Hey Kimmy” the voice on the other end of the phone said after a few rings.

Kim smiled happy to hear Grace’s calming voice.

“Hello, are you OK?” Grace asked slightly concerned by the lack of response coming from Kim.
“Kim are you there?”

“Hey you, yeah I’m here and fine. How are you?” Kim finally spoke.

“Oh you know same old working hard whilst your swaning off around the world” Grace joked.
“So how’s it going? What do you have to do? What’s the bus like? Are you getting much free time? What are they guy’s your working with like? Any cute ones? Your mom said you were with the Backstreet Boys, so what are they like is that Brian still a cutie?
Grace fired question after question as if Kim was in a hot seat.

Kim laughed as she tried to take all the questions in.

“Yeah, it’s going really well, everyone has been super nice.”

“That’s it! That’s all you got to tell me! It’s going well!” Grace didn’t sound too impressed by Kim’s lack of enthusiasm.
“Is something on your mind Kim? Are you not happy there?”
Grace pressed for more information, not understanding why Kim was not bouncing off the walls with excitement at what she was doing.

“No really I’m having the time of my life, I really am. It’s just.” Kim paused as she quickly debated with herself if she should confess to her cousin.

“Oh come on girl, something’s up with you so spit it out, I’ve known you all my life not only as my cousin but my best friend to so don’t think I can’t tell there’s something up. You know you can tell me anything.”
Kim took a deep breath.

Grace was right, Kim knew she could trust her with this and she was going to explode if she didn’t tell someone soon.

“I kinda kissed a guy last night and well I’ve only known him for a week but have an overload of feelings for him.”

Kim let out a heavy sigh as she threw herself backwards onto the bed she was beginning to feel slightly foolish now she’d said it out loud she realised how crazy she sounded.

Kim spent the next 40minutes bringing Grace up to speed on everything that had happened since she got there and how she didn’t know whether to trust the feelings she was having for Nick, were they for real or was she just getting swept up in a fantasy she was creating for herself.
Grace soon interrupted Kim’s confession.

“Look Kim you know I love you but this is kinda surreal, I’m so pleased you’re into some finally after the way that jerk treated you but please be careful I can’t mend another broken heart for you.”
She took a slight pause.
“I’m not trying to put a dampener on this cause it is kinda cool, all a bit forbidden love like but,”
Grace took a slightly longer pause this time.
“Ok Kim here’s my advice, Just bloody go with it, you only live once hey, just take each day as it comes and have as much fun as you can, but just do keep in mind it’s not gunna be a long term arrangement. He’ll be off around the other side of the world soon and you’ll be back here in the rain. So go, have some fun while it lasts but be cool about it and don’t fall too hard to fast OK?.”

Kim’s phone buzzed, she took a quick look to see it was a message from Ash but she ignored it to carry on her conversation with Grace.

“Yeah you’re right I’m glad I told you now and you’ve pulled me back to reality, gosh what was I thinking like we’d live happily ever after or something?”
Kim let out a slightly nervous laugh trying to make light of the situation.

“That’s my girl, You’ll be fine, it’ll all be fine, just do what makes you happy and you know I’m always here for chats or sleep over whatever”
Grace jested.
“Sweetie I really sorry but I gotta get back to work now, my boss’ll go ape if I’m still on the phone when he gets back. I love you OK and please phone me later or tomorrow to keep me up dated on developments and what not.”

“Ok Gracie, will do have a great day and thanks again for listening, I’ll call tomorrow k”

Kim ended the call and checked the message from Ash.

Hey we’re gunna hit the golf again today. Maybe a few beers after
Let me know if your in we’re off in 30mins x

Kim thought about it for a few minutes she really just wanted to chill out but decided it was probably best to spend the day with the guys and it would keep her mind of Nick for a while, she’d be catching up with him later anyway. She quickly texted Ash back and grabbed her coat and bag and headed for the door.
As she opened it she was greeted by Nick who was just about to knock the door.

“Hey” she said slightly startled by her unsuspecting visitor.

Nick instantly smiled when he saw her. “Hey to you to, I hope you don’t mind me dropping by I just kinda needed to talk to you about last night.”

Kim bit her lip as the words instantly caused her heart to drop into her stomach. This is it she thought.
This is where he tells me last night was a big mistake and should never have happened.

“Err I was just kinda on my way out to meet Ash n the guys.” She mumbled.

“Oh, well that’s cool but this won’t take long and it’s kinda important, just a few minutes I promise.”

Kim hesitated for a moment dreading what was about to be said but she moved as side to let Nick walk past her into the room. He glanced around room before perching on the edge of her bed.

“So what’s up?” Kim softly asked.

Nick let out a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his hair. Kim could see he looked distressed she hated that she had let that kiss happen and now it would be awkward between them. Nick look up at Kim who was franticly biting what she had left of her nails, he quietly looked into her eyes before a small smile formed over his lips.

“OK you’re kinda freaking me out a little now. What’s the matter?” she asked.

Nick took a hold of her hand and gently stroked the back of it with his thumb. He pulled her slightly so she would sit next to him on the bed. As she sat down her heart was pounding causing her breathing to increase. Her eyes were glue to his trying to read him for any signal that would help her figure out what he was thinking.

“OK I can see you’re having trouble here so I’ll say if for you. Last night was a mistake.” Kim blurted out.

Nicks face suddenly changed, his eyes narrowed and he let go of her hand.

“What do you mean a mistake?” He finally said.

Kim’s eye’s dropped as she felt them begin to sting.

“Do you think it was a mistake?” He pressed with a slight annoyance to his tone.

Nick looked at her trying to read her face.
Shit I knew this would happen, she doesn’t like me and I’ve pushed her too soon.
He thought to himself as he inhaled deeply.
“I just, well,” Kim was finding it hard to find the right words to use without sounding like she was some insane crazy leech.
“Go on.” Nick prompted her.

“I kinda have all these crazy feelings flying around inside me and although I like you I, well I just don’t wanna jump in too deep with someone I’ve only known for a week and well I was hurt pretty bad not long ago and don’t wanna have to be going through that again in a few month and I know we’re not in ‘normal’ surroundings but,”

She was interrupted by Nick who had begun laughing.
She looked at him puzzled.

“It’s not a game you know, what’s so funny?” she demanded to know.
“I feel the same, I thought it was just me and I was going crazy” he chuckled.
“That’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. Look I really don’t wanna rush you into anything you’re not comfortable with. I feel I like you at lot and it kinds scares me that I’ve only just met you but I feel like this already and I know I’m gunna like you even more as time goes on. I didn’t want you to think I was some insane crazy fool or something, I had so much fun yesterday but I just needed to know you felt it to.”

Nick smiled brightly at Kim as a wave of relief washed over her face. He took a hold of her hand again.

“I tell ya what, How about we agree to well, just take it day by day and see what happens?”
Kim smiled feeling relived they were on the same page.

“Yeah, sounds like a plan to me but can I just make a small request?”

Nick looked at her and reached his hand out to push a stray piece of hair out of her face; he uncontrollably smiled at her shy reaction then nodded his head for her to continue.

“Well I just think if we’re gunna take it slow and just get to know each other better, well then maybe we should just keep this between us. I think if people know then they get in the way and it gets complicated. What you think?”

He mulled it over for a few seconds then said
“Yeah I think your right, it’ll just blow up and people will interfere and.”

Kim placed her finger on his lips to stop him continuing further. The urge to kiss him like last night was becoming unbearable. The two of them were locked into each other’s gaze both wanting the same thing but were trying hard to stick to the plan.
Kim finally looked away

“Look I was just gunna go meet up with the guy’s play a bit of golf, why don’t you come with, we were gunna hang later anyway and I know the other’s won’t mind?”

“Yeah why not sounds cool.”

Kim laughed at his enthusiasm “So you’re golf pro as well?”

“Some might say.” He playfully toyed with her.

“You ready to go or do you need a few minutes?” she asked

“Nah I’m good to go can I just use your bathroom first?”

“Yeah sure it’s just through there.” Kim gestured towards the bathroom.

As the two stood up they knocked heads causing them to both rub their bumps.

“OUCH!” she cried.

Nick chuckled then lent over her and placed a gentle kiss where she got knocked.

“All better now” he grinned.

Kim coyly smiled at him then playfully pushed him down onto the bed as she headed for the door.

“I’ll wait out here for you.” She said opening the door and entering the corridor.

Outside she pulled her phone out of her pocket and quickly text Ash.

Hey on way now. Would it be OK if Nick came? He kinda at a loose end the others have gone to pick up relatives from the airport.

Within seconds her phone she had a reply.

Yeah cool. Taxi just arrived so hurry. X

Nick appeared shortly after,

“All set?” Kim asked.

He beamed back at her “yeah all set to beat your ass.” He joked as he playfully pushed her towards the elevator.

Chapter 10

The journey to the golf course was quite pleasant Kim was glad that Nick and Ash finally had something to talk about and without a cloud of tension hanging in the air.
Once inside the reception area they all sorted out their hire equipment Kim was tying her shoe laces as she noticed Nick and the guy’s talking about the golf clubs causing her to smile, she loved how he seemed at home with everyone and got in on the group jokes.
Nick soon caught Kim’s eye and beckoned for her to come over and pick her clubs she walked over and started rummaging through all the different types she didn’t have a clue what she was looking for they all did the same thing in her mind.

“You want some help picking?” Nick said as he moved around to the other side of her.

Kim pulled one out it was quiet long with a small strip of metal at the end of it.

“Nah I guess this one will do.”

Nick let out a loud chuckle.

“What?” Kim looked at him surprised by his reaction.

He shook his head and took the club of her.

“This will do for when you need to putt but it won’t get you around a whole course.” He continued to laugh.

Kim felt her face go red. Although she’d played before Ash normally just handed her the type of club she needed when it was her turn.

“Look let me show you.”
Nick pulled out another club and stood it next to Kim. He pulled a thinking face before putting it back and getting another.
“Yeah that’ll do, Look see how big the bottom is?”

Kim nodded.

“That’s called a driver, you use this for T ing off, you know when you need to hit the ball hard and far, use this.”

Kim smiled enjoying her lesson on golf clubs as Nick took her through everything she needed and when to use them on the course.

“I think that’s just about it then.”
He said putting the last club into her golf bag.

“T off in 10 minutes” Ash shouted from the doorway.

“I best head to the bathroom before we start.”
Kim announced to Nick who was still checking out golf equipment.

“Yeah K, I’ll meet you by the exit then” Nick replied not moving his gaze from some hi tech ball retrievers.
“You want me to get you a drink?”

“Yes please just a bottle of water will do. Thanks” Kim shouted back as she skipped off to find the restroom.

Out of the golf shop she looked around for some inclination as to where the loo’s where but couldn’t see any signs. She spotted Ash through a glass partition and waved her arms to get his attention. He laughed when he spotted her and she mouthed the words Toilet to him and did some irrelevant gestures with her arms.
Ash asked the guys if they knew where the toilets were then Andy began to make his way towards Kim.

“Down here.” He said in stern tone as he walked past Kim not even making eye contact with her.

“Oh Thanks” Kim said as she started to follow him.
“You can just tell me where they are, save you the trouble of walking all the way there.”
Kim continued feeling increasingly uneasy having to go off alone with Andy.

“I need to go to.” He snapped back.

Kim just quietly followed keeping her eyes glued to the floor. Occasionally she’d peep up but the sternness of his face made her not want to for long. Andy was a very tall guy with dark hair and even darker eyes. He was well built Ash had told Kim that Andy use to be an armature boxer for a few years but a bad car accident left him unable to continue. Apparently the woman driver he collided with was drunk and ended up killing his best friend.
Ash thought he just couldn’t let go off it that’s why he was moody looking and quiet.

Kim tried to think of something to say to Andy to break the ice a little but soon walked into the back of him as he abruptly stop in front of her.
He looked over his shoulder and down at Kim then nodded his head towards the ladies toilets.

“Thanks” Kim nodded as she went to make a quick exit.

Kim walked quickly down the narrow corridor to the end door where the toilet was as she reached the door she felt a strong tug on her arm. She spun round to see Andy towering over her.

“Yeah?” She shakily asked.

Andy glared down on her his eyes piercing her like she was the most disgusting thing he’d ever seen.
Kim swallowed hard as her throat became dry and her palms were sweaty.

“Is there a problem?” She asked trying hard to hide the tremble in her voice “Your kinda hurting my arm there.”

Andy breathed deeply and flared his nostrils. Kim was getting angry with him now he was gripping her tighter but still wouldn’t explain himself.

“Well?” Kim tried to yank her arm out of his grasp but he dug his fingers in even harder.

“You shouldn’t be here you know.” Andy finally broke his silence

“What?” Kim looked up at him puzzled

“You shouldn’t be here; this is a man’s job not a little girl’s, especially not one who likes to put it about a lot.”

Kim’s jaw dropped “What the fuck are you talking about? How fucking dare you say that to me, I have just as much right to be here as you and I work just as fucking hard and I do not ‘put it about’ at all, you don’t even know me how can you say that?.”

Andy pushed Kim against wall “I’ve seen the way they all look at you and I know what their all thinking they wanna do to you and don’t play all sweet an innocent with me you fucking love it, all that attention from men, leading them on knowing full well they have no chance with you cause your too busy fucking that gay boy.”

Kim felt her eyes begin to sting but rage was building up inside her. Luckily the sound of voices began to fill the air causing Andy to release his grip from Kim’s arm, as he turned around to see who was coming Kim shot into the bathroom and locked herself in one of the cubicles.

Her heart was pounding and the tears soon began streaming down her face she sat down on the toilet and threw her head into her hands and sobbed.
After a few minutes she took a deep breath and tried to pull herself together, slowly opening the cubical door she went over to the sink and splashed some cold water on her face.
Kim stood there in silence every time she thought she’d gotten control of herself Andy’s face would flash back to her causing her to break down again. She couldn’t think straight she was so frightened of what could have happened to her if those people had not of arrived when they did.
Suddenly a flush of anger engulfed Kim’s body.
How fucking dare he think he can speak to me like that fuckin loser he needs to get a life if he ever comes near me again I’ll fuckin.
Kim’s thoughts were interrupted as the main door opened and a little old lady appeared.

“Kim?” she smiled.

Fear flooded back over Kim as she thought Andy had sent the poor lady in to get her out, but a wave of relief soon arrived as the lady moved out of the way to reveal Nick standing behind her.
Kim let out a huge sigh of relief followed by happy chuckle at the sight of him.

“Everything OK?” He asked concerned as he peered through the doorway.

The sight of Nick became too much for Kim and she burst into tears again. As unexpected as it was for Nick to see her like this he instantly barged passed the lady and threw his arms around Kim to try and comfort her.

“What’s happened baby?”

Kim didn’t answer she couldn’t speak through the sobs.

“Please tell me what’s the matter with you I don’t know what to do.” Nick’s voice began to break as he spoke.

The lady still stood in the doorway not knowing what to do for the best, the tall man shouldn’t be in the Ladies room but the girl was to upset. She cleared her throat.

“Excuse me miss, I know the young man shouldn’t be in here but would you like me to give you both a few minutes to sort yourself out?”

Nick looked over to the lady and nodded his head.

The lady didn’t move though she continued to look to Kim for approval that it was ok for her to leave her with the man.

“Miss” she said again “Do you need a few minutes?”

Kim looked up through her blurry eyes and half smiled to the woman as she nodded.

“OK Miss I’ll be right outside but I can only give you a few minutes Ok.” The lady smiled to Kim as she shut the door behind her.

Nick grabbed Kim’s face and tilted it up towards his so he could look into her eyes. His heart began to ache at how upset she was and that there was nothing he could about it.

“Please Kim tell me what’s made you this upset, I can’t help you if I don’t know.”

Kim pulled out of Nicks hold and turned away from him, she took a deep breath as she wiped her face with the back of her hand. He watched her through the mirror, he felt himself beginning to get annoyed now that she wouldn’t open up to him and he knew it must be pretty bad for her to be as upset as she was.

“Please.” Nick tried again

“Nick.” Kim snapped at him. “I can’t do this right now.”

“You have to Kim I can’t make it better if you don’t tell me.”
He grabbed a hold of her arm causing her to wince in pain. He looked hard at her as she tried to pull her arm back but he looked down in time to see the red bruising that had formed.

“How’d this happen?” He instantly questioned.

Kim yanked her arm away from him trying to hide it and tried to head for the door.
Nick stood his ground in front of her

“Kim.” He sternly said. “Who the hell hurt you like that?”

Kim closed her eyes as she tried to fight back the tears.

“I can’t.” She muttered.

“You can and you have to.” Nick took a step closer to Kim.

Kim broke down again then confessed to Nick what had just happened with Andy.

“That fuckin son of a bitch.” Nick barked “I’ll fuckin kill him.”

“No” Kim shouted “You can’t this is my fight and I’ll have to deal with it, you gotta promise me you say or do anything I’ll deal with it. Promise me Nick.”

Nick let out a heavy sigh as he pulled Kim close to him.
“How can I just let some asshole get away with making my girl feel like this.”

Kim looked up at him “Your girl?”

“Yeah MY girl.” He smiled down to her, gently kissing her on the forehead.

The lady suddenly appeared in the doorway again.

“I’m sorry but people need to come in now so I’m going to have to ask the gentleman to leave.”

Nick looked down to Kim, “What you wanna do get a drink or go back to the hotel?”

“Err didn’t we come here to golf?” Kim joked.

“Yeah but I didn’t know if you’d still be up for it after you know.”

“Come on Tiger show me what you’ve got.”

As Kim and Nick left the toilet they thanked the lady and Nick handed her a huge tip for her trouble.

The two headed to the course hand in hand Kim felt a little uneasy around Nick half of her didn’t know how he felt about what she’d told him and the other half was scared he’d cause a scene when he met up with Andy. Kim had never imaged Nick would become that angry she thought he was going to explode, the last thing she wanted was for him to do something silly and get into trouble for her.

As they reached the first Tee Kim looked around for the others but they were nowhere in sight.

“You’d been gone awhile so I told the others to carry on n we’ll catch em up.” Nick finally said.

Kim was so relieved that she didn’t have to walk round with Andy now she could relax a little safe that it was just her and Nick.

About an hour into the game Kim and Nick had still not caught up with the rest of the group. Kim pretended to play exceptionally bad so she could keep a good distance from the others she still wasn’t ready to have that first face off with Andy. Although she had wanted to show Nick was wasn’t that bad she didn’t mind really as he kept putting his arms around her trying to show her how to hit the ball properly and giving her little hints and tips. Kim was enjoying this time alone with Nick it was just what she need after what had happened she felt safe and happy again. Kim tried hard to put the ordeal to the back of her mind but she just couldn’t, she’d drift off into daydreams about having to tell Ash and the effect this was going to have on everyone. Nick interrupted her thoughts by placing a kiss on her forehead.
“What’s that for?” Kim asked

“Just felt like it.” Nick smirked back.

Kim threw her arms around his neck and went up onto her toes to place a kiss on his lips.

“What’s that for?” Nick grinned

“Just felt like it.” Kim shrugged and turned to take her shot.

Another hour flew by Kim and Nick soon caught up with Ash and the guy’s. Kim quickly scanned the group but Andy was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Andy?” Nick asked straight away.

Kim looked at him and gave him a warning look.

“He didn’t come out with us, when he got back to us after showing you the toilet he said he felt sick and wanted to go home.” Ash answered
“Hello nice of you to catch us up though.” He added

Kim faintly smiled

“How you got on?” Nick asked moving around to look at Ash’s score card.

Kim was glad she didn’t have to deal with Andy she was still pretty shook up but she was also pissed that the coward had just ran away after what he did to her.

“Where gunna go get some food and maybe a few beers after this last stretch, you joining us Nick? One of the guy’s asked.

Nick nodded “Yeah sounds good. What we having?”

The guys and Kim all shouted at once “PIZZA!”

Nick laughed and shook his head at them.

They made their way up to the next whole leaving Kim and Nick trailing behind like naughty kids pushing each other and trying to trip the other over.

Chapter 11

The next weeks flew by; Kim decided to put what happened at the golf course to the back of her mind. Andy had kept his distance and since he didn’t feel like a threat she decided to let it go and not mention it to anyone else even though Nick hated her decision and pleaded for her to at least tell Ash so he could watch out for her, it enfuriated him that he couldn't be there to protect her all the time.

Kim threw herself into her job to help her forget what had happened that day, she was amazed by how much she had picked up over a short space of time and thanks to her sudden and over keen interest in everything she had been given solo responsibilities throughout the show.
Things with Nick were evolving nicely too, they would hang out whenever they had a chance and we’re getting to know each other really well although Kim sometimes found it hard to divide her time equally between her new love and her colleagues.
As much as he hated it Nick understood they had to spend time apart as their relationship was a secret but both would just spend most of their time apart pinning for the other and counting down till their next meeting. Kim was having the time of her life and couldn’t ask for more.
It was now the last show in Spain they had the next three days off the get over to England for the UK shows. Kim was excited to be able to see her family and friends, she’d missed them so much but after the UK there were only 6 more shows left till the European leg of the tour was over. Although this had been playing on Kim’s mind for a while she’d not mentioned it to Nick as she didn’t want to seem to be coming on to strong after they had agreed to take it day by day, she felt uneasy not knowing what lay in store for them. She desperately wanted to stay in touch but the saying out of sight out of mind kept haunting her and it sadden her to think this was just a good time for him when her feelings were becoming so strong towards him.

Kim fought her way through the curtain that separated backstage from the front and checked her watch it was 4.00pm the sound check would be starting soon.
As she walked past the side of the stage to see who was about and if there was anything else left to do she tripped over a lose wire and felt herself go red from embarrassment.

Thank God no one saw that.
she sighed to herself she grabbed a small roll of black duct tape out of her work mans pouch and began securing the wire to the floor so no one else could trip on it, as she stood up she felt a hand slide around her waist and a voice whisper into her ear.

“Guess who?”

She instantly recognised the voice and beamed from ear to ear she spun round to see Nick smiling at her.

“Hey you, you already for sound check?”

“Yeah I am now I’ve seen you.” Nick winked.

Nick quickly scanned the arena checking who was about, when he saw the coast was clear he pulled Kim into a gap between the tiered seating and the backstage curtain.

“What are you doing?” She gasped
“What if someone sees us?”

She franticly looked around checking the area for anyone who may catch them. Her heart was pounding hard into her chest.

“What if they do?” Nick toyed with her.

She shook her head at him and flashed a smile.

“You’re a very naughty boy Mr Carter.” She seductively said

Nick grinned at her and licked his lips; every time he saw her he wanted her more and more he was finding it hard to control his thoughts of all the things he wanted to do her and how much he wanted to feel himself inside her.

“C’mon Nick stop foolin around we’ll get caught.”

He looked so hot in his tight white T shirt and slightly baggy jeans. Kim was finding it harder and harder to resist him.
All the time they had spend together over the past months had just confirmed Kim’s initial feeling for Nick she knew she was going to find it difficult to say goodbye to him in a few weeks even though she tried so hard to suppress her feelings.
Nick took a step closer to Kim forcing her to back up against the barriers on the seats, he placed one hand either side of her so she had nowhere to go and moved his head down towards hers.

“Nick” Kim gave him a warning look.

He ignored it and moved a little closer till his lips hovered just above hers.

Kim’s heart skipped a beat as she inhaled the sweet scent that came from him.

If we get caught all hell will break loose.
She thought to herself.
God I wanna kiss him so bad.

A cheeky grin formed over Nick’s lips as he looked deep into Kim’s eyes he was mesmerized by their dark chocolate colour yet they were able to sparkle so brightly.

“Nicky someone will see us sound check is any minute.” Kim gasped.

“I know” he smirked back.

Kim looked back at him a little shocked by his response and cocked an eyebrow.

“Do you wanna get caught?”

Still smirking he shrugged his shoulders.

Kim looked back at him trying not to laugh, she’d not yet experienced this naughty side of him and she quiet liked it.

“I think I’m losing this battle.” He softly said as he placed his lips on hers.

Feeling her not pull away he kissed her a little stronger causing her to groan slightly, enjoying the sound she made he moved his hand down to her side and placed it on her hip and pulled her into him.
Kim locked her arms around his neck and continued to kiss him passionately.
Nick gasped lightly as he felt himself getting more and more turned on from the kiss, he pressed himself against her and she could feel his stiffness against her, knowing how turned on he was getting made her even more excited as she gently flicked her tongue against his.
Nick let his hand slide up her waist and under her T shirt; he let his hand glide around to her back and up her spine causing her to shiver.
A loud voice in the distance caused them both to jump and part from each other, they both giggled and looked away from each other feeling a little embarrassed that they got so carried away but the adrenaline of maybe being found made the encounter even more exciting.
Kim heard a lot a voices talking at once and looked over her shoulder to see the crowds being lead in.
She smiled and looked back at Nick.

“I guess its show time.” She said as she caught her breath.

Nick let out a sigh, gutted that they had been interrupted.

“Yeah guess so!”

“You best get going then your fans a wait you” Kim playfully teased.

Nick looked at her, his cheeks beginning to grow a bright shade of red.

“I kinda can’t at the minute” he hesitated.

Kim looked at him puzzled. “And whys that?” she questioned.

He shyly giggled and looked down towards his bulging jeans, Kim’s eyes followed causing her face to match the colour of his as she realised what his problem was.

“See the effect you have on me?” he joked.

With that Kim went up on to the tips of her toes and quickly gave Nick a peck on the lips. He inhaled deeply as he watched her playfully skip off and leave him to readjust himself and change his thoughts to something more suitable for the occasion.


Kim hopped up onto the control area where Ash and John had just arrived.

“Hey” Kim cheerfully said.

“Alright, where ya been?” Ash inquired.

“Just around there were a couple of stray cables by the stage which needed seeing to.” Kim informed them both as she pulled up a stool to watch the sound check.

“I bet he did.” John quietly said causing Ash to burst out laughing.

Kim thought she had heard correctly and instantly felt her face flush.

OMG did they see us?
She thought. Her mind began racing.
Oh please, please, please, don’t have caught us that’s too embarrassing.

She began to feel slightly sick at the thought of being caught out, she turned her head to look at Ash and John who were both still looking at her and laughing.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked getting defensive.

The two men looked at each other then burst out laughing again.

“Well?” she demanded becoming increasingly impatient with them.

John held his laughter in as he managed to say
“Nothing so did HE? I mean it get dealt with ok?”

Kim shook her head and inhaled deeply as the two men fell about laughing again.

“I don’t have the foggiest what you’re on about and I don’t find either of you very funny. Whatever it is!” she snapped feeling increasingly silly.

“Ooooooooooh” both men mocked.

Kim glared at them both then turned around to look at the stage.

What am I gunna do now?
She thought.
Everyone knows about us and its gunna wreak everything, it’s over.

She felt a wave of sadness come over her as she explored her nonexistent future with Nick in her mind.
As Nick finally took to the stage there was a loud scream from the crowd and John and Ash began making kissing noises behind Kim.

“Looks like you got a bit of competition there pet.” John shouted through his laughs.

“You’re not funny, so a girl can’t be friends with a guy without it meaning she’s fuckin him?!” Kim snapped back as her sadness began to turn to anger.

The two men continued to make kissing noises and through their heavy laughs happy in the success of baiting Kim. They began to sing a rhyme

Kim and Nicky sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Kim jumped up off the stool she was so annoyed and needed to get away from them quick. Ash saw Kim was getting upset by them so he gave John a huge elbow in the ribs and went over to Kim.
Putting his arm around her he said

“C’mon John enough now.”

Kim shrugged him off she was so pissed off with him and John she just wanted to get away from them both.

“C’mon Kim it’s just a joke we know your just friends” Ash air quoted “with them all and not in some kinda sex party.”
he tried to smooth things over as best he could.

Kim still glared at him and John was still in a fit of giggles.

“Ay Kim we’re just pullin ya leg pet.” John said as the giggles began to subside.

A huge feeling of calm and relief swept over Kim as she realised they were just winding her up. Oh shit maybe my reaction will now cause them to suspect something really. She thought.

Ash placed his arm around Kim again but this time she let it stay there.

“You OK? Really we just winding you up, chill OK.” Ash tried to comfort Kim.

“Yeah it’s cool, sorry for snapping must getting to that time of the month or something.” She said through a heavy sigh, hoping that would account for her unusual erratic response to their joke.

John pulled a face as she mentioned time of the month.
“And that’s the end of this convo for me.” He joked.

“Wanna come get some coffee’s with me?” Ash asked Kim

“Yeah, I could do with some fresh air.”

Chapter 12

As the two of them headed off Kim’s phone went off, she pulled it out of her back pocket and instantly smiled at the sight of Nicks name next to a new message.

- Hey need to speak to you, my bus 20 mins. X -

Kim screwed her face up as she re read the message.

What’s that gunna be about then? She wondered.

Ash handed her a coffee

“OK?” he asked.

“Huh?” Kim suddenly came out of her thoughts.
“Oh yeah cool.”

She smiled and took a sip of her coffee but it was boiling hot causing her to spit it out and curse as pain began to cover her tongue.

Ash winced feeling her pain.

“Ouch!” he said handing her a napkin to wipe the dribbles.

“Tar, man I hate it when that happens, its gunna hurt for the rest of the day now” she spat.

“Why don’t you go get a cold drink off the bus, I’ll take this to John n you can come back over when you’re ready?”

Kim was about to protest when she remembered she needed to meet Nick soon anyway so it was a perfect excuse to disappear for a while.

“K thanks I won’t be long promise.” She smiled at Ash and walked slowly towards her bus.

As she reached the bus she took a quick look around, when she saw the coast was clear she ran round the back of her bus and made her way through the maze of buses till she reached Nick’s. She still had a few minutes till he finished sound check so she sat on the curb and lit a cigarette.
Kim inhaled as she tried to figure what could be so important Nick needed to see her straight away, surely he could have said something at their encounter earlier.
A huge smile formed over her face as she remembered the steamy make out session. Nick soon appeared he shook his head when he saw the cigarette in her hand which made her put it out and feel like a naughty school girl who’d just got busted.
Nick grabbed her hand to pull her to her feet and after a quick glance around dragged her onto the bus.
Kim looked around the bus it wasn’t to different from hers just a slightly different layout as it was a double decker so there was a bit more room to manoeuvre. Nick ushered her into a seat and squeezed in close next to her.

“So what’s up?” she nervously asked.

“You want a drink or anything?” Nick smiled.

Kim shook her head.
“No what’s this about?” she asked again trying to hide her uneasy feelings.

Nick turned into her slightly and rested his elbows on the table in front of them.

“I was just wondering what your arrangements were for the next few days?”

Kim shrugged “I’m not sure to be honest I haven’t even thought about it why?”

“Well do you know if you got the next few days off or do you have to stay with the crew?”

Kim looked at him trying to understand what he was getting at.
“No Ash said I can carry on home if I want he’s staying with the guy’s though.”

Nick nodded his head liking the answer he heard.
“Cool, well I don’t wanna seem to forward here and I really hope you don’t mind but.”

Kim’s eyes narrowed as she watched Nick struggling to get his words out,
she smiled at his endearing ways as she rested her elbows on the table in front of them and rested her head onto one of her hands.

“Well I kinda went ahead a brought you a plane ticket, if you don’t want it that’s cool, I just well, you know, whatever.”
He continued as he chewed on his bottom lip.

Kim leant over and gently kissed him on the cheek,
“That’s really sweet of you Nicky, Thanks.”

Nick bashfully smiled.
“The ticket is to Heathrow though, plane leaves at 3.30am.”

He pulled an envelope out of his pocket which contained Kim’s ticket and placed on the table in front of her. As she went to pick it up he placed his hand on top of hers.

“I don’t know what your plans are but we’ll be staying in London for two days we got a few interviews to do, do you have to go straight home or can you hang?”

Kim looked back down at the ticket and inhaled deeply.
This is so sweet of him, it would be amazing to have a few days with him and not be worrying about the crew seeing me or what they’re thinking. She thought to herself.

Nick moved his arm so it rested on the back of her seat and shuffled in closer to her.
“If this is too much Kim just say and I’ll back off. I just thought it would be cool to hand out and it seemed like a good opportunity.”

Kim knew straight away what her answer was going to be but held back trying to be cool and not seem desperate to be with him. She turned her head away from him slightly and coyly smiled.

“Yeah I guess I can hang.”

Nick smiled widely and took her hand in his and began playing with her fingers.

“Cool I guess I can let you hand with me.” He jokingly said.

Kim looked back and playfully punched him in the arm.

“Ouch!” he cried grabbing his arm and rubbing it franticly.

“Oh come on that was only a tap.” Kim laughed back.

“No seriously I have a dead arm woman.”

“WOMAN!” Kim huffed

A cheeky grin formed over Nick’s mouth.
“Yeah woman!”

“Oh no you didn’t?” Kim protested.

Nick began to laugh loudly and grabbed her around the waist causing her to fall into a fit of giggles from the tickles.

The feeling from earlier’s make out session came flooding back to the surface and Kim couldn’t stop herself from jumping up onto Nick’s lap and straddling him in his seat.

“Ooh I like this game.” Nick jested.

Kim hovered over his slightly parted lips feeling his breathing increase she softly said.

“Your gunna like this one even more then.”

Nick’s eyes grew wide with anticipation he swallowed hard unable to form a sentence to respond to her.
Then he felt her lips upon his, he closed his eyes and allowed her tongue to explore every inch of his mouth he let out a small gasp and let his hand slide up her back into her hair cupping the back off her head so the kiss deepened.
Nick pulled away from her mouth to catch a breath and began to kiss her jaw and down her neck.
The base of her neck was a soft spot for Kim as she felt herself become increasingly turned on she let out a little cry.
Nick slowly lifted her T-shirt up and over her head causing her hair bobble to fall out and waves of her soft brown hair began to cascade down over her shoulders,
Kim then removed his and allowed her fingeres to flow over his sculpted torso. The pair met again for another intense kiss she ran her fingers through his hair gripping it slightly. Nick’s hands softly glided up Kim’s back as he kissed down her neck, he slipped her black bra strap of her shoulder as he kissed along her collar bone. Kim could feel him growing underneath her knowing how turned he was getting made her enjoy it even more, she let out more soft groans as he cupped her breasts and gently kissed the top of them. As Nick was about to slide his hand under her bra they heard the door being messed with.
Kim jumped off Nick’s lap and as he got up he quickly pushed her inside the toilet which was next to them, just as the door closed the bus door opened and AJ appeared.

“Sup dude?” He asked instantly noticing Nick’s ruffled hair.

Seeing him looking Nick quickly tried to flatten it.

“Nothing, just chillin, why? what you doing? Nick nervously answered back.

AJ eyed his flustered friend knowing full well he was doing more than just chilling.

“OK if you say so. Jenn wants us over in the arena in 5 mins for a quick meeting.”

“Yeah cool I’ll meet ya over there then.” Nick said trying to quickly get rid AJ who was picking something off the floor.

AJ nodded at Nick still with a smirk on his face.

“You might wanna do your hair before you come over.”
AJ joked as he flicked Kim’s hair band at Nick and winked shutting the door behind himself.

Nick felt himself go bright red as he finally breathed out. He opened the door and smiled when he saw Kim leaning up the wall biting her nails.

“It was just AJ” he said as he held up the bobble.
“I’ve gotta go to a meeting now.”

Kim pulled a face at the bobble “Busted?”

“Yeah” Nick nodded.
“It’s OK though AJ will be cool he knows the score.”

Kim grabbed the bobble and began putting her hair back up using the mirror in the toilet. Nick stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“I’m looking forward to London” he smiled and started kissing down the back of her neck.

“Yeah it’ll be nice to be able to relax for a few days”
Kim added as she felt herself burning up from Nicks touch.

“Yeah” Nick sighed backing off.

Kim turned to look at him “what you thinking?

“Nothing, just wish we were there now” he smiled and kissed the top of her head.

Kim found her T-shirt and slipped it on as nick pulled a new one out of his bag and made himself look presentable.

“So how will this work?” Kim asked

“What do you mean?” Nick looked at her puzzled.

“Well like, I can’t just leave with you straight after the show I gotta help set down and pack away and where will I stay while I’m in London?”

“If you want I can talk to Ash and see if he’ll let you off the night?”

Kim shook her head “No I can’t just bail that’s not fair on Ash.”

Nick thought about it for a few minutes.
“OK so if I get one of our drivers to come back for you at 12.30, then he’ll bring you straight to the airport, we’ll fly over n well I hadn’t gotten further than that I didn’t even know if you’d accept the flight, but it’s cool I’ll get you a room in our hotel or” he paused.

“Or what?” Kim eyed him knowing full well what he was about to say but looking forward to hearing it.

“Or you could stay with me?” Nick bit on his bottom lip waiting for his answer.

Kim let out a little laugh. “OK Romeo we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it but for now a driver at 12.30 sounds good. Thank you.”

Kim gave him a small peck but Nick pulled her into him turning it into another passionate kiss.
Kim pulled away and looked up into his beautiful blue eyes.

“You better get going then you’ll be late for your meeting.”

“It’s getting harder to leave you, you know.” Nick kissed the top of her head again.

Kim smiled he was so cute when he was being sweet she felt her heart melting.
They made their way to the door stopping after every step for a quick kiss.
Nick opened the door and jumped down then held his hand out for Kim to hold on to as she made her way down the few steps. After a quick scope of the surrounding the pair quickly kissed again.

“I’ll see you at the airport then.” Nick smiled.

“Yeah, have a great show although I can’t wait for it to be over.” Kim winked at Nick.

Nick smiled and stroked the side of her face.
“OK I really gotta go your gunna get me in trouble.”

“OK get going, See later alligator.”

“In a while crocodile.” Nick shouted back as he ran towards the arena.

Chapter 13

Kim sat there watching the guy’s around her eating burgers and chatting away about football.
Going off to London with Nick was playing heavy on her mind, she felt bad towards Ash like she was just bailing on him after he had been so kind to her by giving her the job and supporting her so much whilst she had been there.
As she looked up Andy walked past her he didn’t make eye contact but the sight of him still made her stomach churn. She spun around on the bench she was sitting at so she had her back to everyone and lent back resting her elbows on the table behind her. She felt sick inside from not only the sight of Andy but also this constant feeling that she was betraying Ash somehow. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and breathed out heavy causing her lips to pout.
Considering it was the middle of winter the weather was pretty mild, although it was chilly the sky was clear so the sun shone down on her. As she basked in the sunlight a shadow cast over her face she opened one eye to see Ash about to sit down next to her, she let out a half smile at her friend.

“You OK?” He asked, “You look a little pissed today.”

“Yeah fine.” Kim said as guilt caused her to look away from him.

Ash turned into Kim.
“That’s not the face of someone who’s ‘fine’.” He said air quoting again.

Kim hesitated for a few minutes before screwing up her face and turning back to Ash.

“Ash, I kinda need to talk to you.” She quickly glanced around at the other guy’s sitting by them.
“Alone.” She continued.

“OK, are you OK? He asked in a concerned tone.

“Come on lets go over there for a cigarette.” She said getting off the bench.

As the pair walked around the other side of the building, they picked up a couple of crates to sit on.

“So you gunna tell me what’s up or have I gotta stay worried about you?” Ash said as he handed Kim a lighter.

“Is it one of the guy’s? Have they upset you? Is it me? Have I given you too much to do?” Ash pressed desperate to know what was going on.

Kim smiled Ash was cute when he was worried and was unsure of what to do. She gently squeezed his knee for reassurance.

“No it’s not you, you’re great.” Kim smiled
“This whole experience has been amazing and I have you to thank for bringing me here and being so good to me.”

“So what the hell’s up then Kim?” He interrupted.

Kim paused for a second; she bit her bottom lip as she tried to think of the right words to use.

“Ok” She sighed.
“I’m so, so grateful that you let me come here really I am and I don’t want you to think badly of me for this but, well I kinda.” She paused again feeling terrible having to say this.

She did not know how Ash would react or even if there would be any implications for him or her in what she was about to say.

Ash’s eyes opened widely trying to prompt her to continue.
“Your kinda what?” he pushed.

Kim thought again if telling Ash was really the right thing to do but it was too late to go back now. It’s better to just come clean and face the consequences. She thought.

“I’m kinda seeing Nick.” She finally blurted out, and then began muttering.
“Well I don’t know if it’s seeing or, well you couldn’t call it going out or dating, or could you? I don’t know whatever it is something’s going on with me n Nick.”

She began to confess all to Ash, leaving out a few of the steamier parts for obvious reasons. Ash never said a word throughout Kim’s confession he just sat there and listened.

“Look I’m really sorry and I know this is probably gunna cause you loads of trouble but it just kinda happened and I didn’t wanna make a big deal out of it cuz you know our work on this tour is nearly over and nothing more will come of me n Nick once he leaves. I’m really sorry Ash.”
Kim’s eyes began to sting as the full force of her guilt hit her.

“Hey” Ash said moving closer to her to put his arm around her.

“I’m so sorry, I know you had a lot riding on this job and now I’ve let you down and gone and caused you a load of trouble that you don’t need.” Tears began to roll down her cheeks.

Ash squeezed her tightly. “Look you bloody moron, there’s no problem here. I won’t lie to ya Kim I really don’t think getting involved with someone like him is a good idea but you can’t help who you fall for, believe me I know!” he looked away and ran his hand through his hair.

“ Look at me Kim, I kinda guessed something was up but I just couldn’t put my finger on it; don’t think I can’t tell when you’re up to something I’ve known you to bloody long. To be honest I’ve not had to deal with work romances before but I can’t see a problem as long as it’s not affecting your work, which it’s not.”

Kim looked up and smiled at Ash she was so relieved to hear his words.

“I’m guessing you still wanna keep it quiet though?” Ash continued.

Kim nodded. “Yeah it’s just easier that way.”

“Ok you’re secret’s safe with me as long as you promise to be careful.”

“Thanks Ash.” Kim threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

“Now is there any more drama I should be aware of?”

Kim pulled down her top lip with her teeth. “Kind of.” She said scrunching her face up.

“What?”

“Erm, well Nick kinda brought me a ticket to London.”

“That was nice of him.” Ash huffed.

“It’s for tonight well earlier hours of the morning.”

“and you want the night off?” Ash hastily enquired.

“Oh God no.” Kim instantly replied.

Ash paused for a second and looked into Kim’s dark eyes,
“It’s Ok you can go if you want to, we’ll manage.”
Ash half smiled at Kim, he was somewhat sad he knew they had not spent as much time together as he would have liked but he really felt like he had lost her altogether now.

“No, no way, I can be picked up at 12.30 so I’m staying to do my shift.”

“It’s”

“It’s not up for discussion.” Kim interrupted. “You said this was cool as long as it didn’t interfere with my work and it’s not. Nick knows I’m here to do a job and so is he, I’m doing my shift.”

Ash smiled and shook his head.

“You’re a gudden you know, I hope Mr Carter appreciates what he’s been lucky enough to find.” He said as he ruffled her hair

Kim pushed him off and blushed at his compliments.

“Thanks again Ash.”

“No problem, right we best get you sorted for tonight so you can jet off undetected. Come on last one to the bus has gotta make the tea.” He said as he legged it around the corner.

Chapter 14

Kim arrived at the airport just before 1.20am, Ash had been great giving her the quick jobs so she could get out on time they had told they others that Kim had managed to get a cancellation flight so she could deal with a family matter. She did not like that she had to lie to all the guys but she knew it could cause some problems for Ash and her if they thought she was getting special favours.

As she walked through the doors of the departure area she was surprised at how busy the airport was, there were so many photographers hanging about and quite a few young girls.

Why are they not at home tucked up in bed?

Kim thought to herself, as she looked a little closer she noticed a few of them holding signs and instantly recognised some Backstreet Boys song titles that had been magically worked into the girls messages of love.
Kim laughed to herself;
well that explains it then, there here for the Backstreet Boys Derr!
She chuckled as she scanned around for her check in desk.
Gosh I’m so glad Nick left me with my own tickets he’d have been mobbed if he had to wait around for me, I best text him and let him know I’m here.

Kim made her way over to her check in desk and pulled her phone out of her pocket. As she was about to text Nick she noticed an odd looking guy sitting on his own, she was instantly drawn to the fact he was wearing dark glasses not only in doors but during the middle of the night too. He had a dark Nike cap on and a quite expensive looking camera hung around his neck.

If he’s meant to be a secret photographer he’s not doing a very good job. She thought to herself.

The lady at the desk then called her to come forward, just as she’d finished checking in she heard loud screams which made her jump with fright, she spun round to see a man who looked like the guy’s security trying to clear a pathway through the crowds.

They must just be arriving, their very late. She said to herself.

Just then she felt someone grab her arm, fear engulfed her as thoughts of Andy grabbing her came flooding back she was about to scream out for help when she looked to see the strange guy with the camera next to her as he pulled his glasses down slightly she caught sight of his eyes, it was Nick.

“What the f” she gasped as it began to sink in who it was.

“Ssssshhhhhh.” We gotta get through quick whilst their distracted.

Nick lead her through a door and removed his glasses as soon as he was through.

“What on earth are you doing?” Kim questioned
“You scared the bejebbers outta me when you grabbed me like that.

“Sorry babe, I just wanted to wait for you to make sure you got through OK n when we got here n saw all the pap’s n fans it kinda messed my plans up So AJ said he’d wait for you to get here then come through so I could get ya, hence the dodgy disguise.”

Kim burst out laughing. “You do look kinda ridiculous Nicky.”
She shook her head. “You shouldn’t have gone through all this palaver for me though I could have phoned you if there were any problems you dumbass.”

Nick pouted and showed his puppy dog eyes. “I sorrwey.

“Come on lets go get a drink.” She chuckled.

As they walked through the duty free shops, Kim stopped in her tracks.

“What’s up?” Nick asked looking back.

“I just thought, I know AJ kinda knows but how do we explain my being here to the rest of your posse?”

“Don’t worry knuckle head, I’ve took care of it.” Nick began to walk off but stopped when he saw Kim wasn’t following.

“You wanna elaborate on that duffus?” Kim asked as she made her way over to him.

“Sure, I just told em all about you.” He answered with a huge grin.

Kim stopped again. “Sorry you what?”

“Look I know we said it was just us” Nick said as he made his way to join her. “But I can trust these guy’s with my life, I can promise they won’t get in the way and if we need any help like just then out in the front they can do that for us. Besides I kinda liked telling them about you.”

Kim gave him a puzzled look.

“Look I get to spend a lot of time listening to how wonderful, funny and great Leighanne, Leigh and Rochelle are an, well it felt good to be able to join in n say Oh Kim said the funniest thing the other day. You know what I mean?”

Kim smiled as his kind words swirled around her head.

Nick stood next to Kim and wrapped his little finger around hers.

“Please don’t be mad I had to tell them, their my family and it is easier if they know, and they do really like you.”

Kim felt her cheeks begin to glow. “They do?”

“Yeah of course they do and why wouldn’t they.” He winked “come on lets go get them drinks.”

Kim followed him nervously, she couldn’t be mad she did tell Grace and Ash and at least now they wouldn’t have to come up with some half assed story of how she just so happened to be on the same flight and in the same hotel.

As they came out of the shop Kim instantly saw everyone taking up one corner of the departure lounge. Brian and Leighanne were reading to Bayley, Howie was half asleep on Leighs shoulder as she read a book and rocked James’s carry cot. Jenn was having a heated debate with someone on the phone and AJ, Rochelle and the rest of the guy’s were in the arcade racing each other on motorbikes.

Kim took a deep breath as Nick led her over to the seating area.
Kim instantly felt uneasy as everyone’s eyes clamped on her and they were all smiling like Cheshire Cats.
Kim slightly smiled back as she tried to hide behind Nick for safety.

“Hey.” Leigh quietly said “You get here ok?”

“Yeah, no problems thanks.” Kim felt her voice croak as she answered back.

Jenn looked up and waved whilst she was still on the phone and Kim shyly mimicked back, she couldn’t get to grips with this bizarre feeling she was having. How could she have spent the last few months with these people and feel so comfortable and at home and now she was suddenly scared stiff of them all?

A loud whistle came from the games area causing Howie to jolt out of his nap, he looked disorientated until he realised Leigh was next to him then he relaxed again.

Nick nodded over to AJ who was beckoning him to go over and join in.

“You comin over?” Nick turned to Kim n asked. “You can leave your bag with these.”

Kim smiled at her audience and placed her back pack next to Nick’s then followed him over to the games room half running as she tried to keep up with his gigantic strides.

“Sup, English?” AJ shouted as Kim lent up a slot machine. “Wanna play?”

Kim eyed up the huge motorbikes. “Errr I think I’ll pass thanks.”

AJ began to make chicken noises but was shut up abruptly by Nick who playfully pushed him into one of the bikes.

“Come on then J it’s time to settle an old score.” Nick said as he hopped on the bike.

Rochelle made her way round to Kim,

“Hey, it’s a good job it’s not too long till the flight else these pair would be here forever.” She joked.

“You play?” Rochelle asked signalling over to an empty pool table.

“Yeah but not very well.” Kim confessed.

“Me neither come on it gets a little boring watching these boys.”

Kim followed Rochelle over to the table.

“So how long you been working on the road?”

Rochelle enquired as she set up the balls.

“Just since the beginning of this tour, it was kind of a favour for my mate?” Kim explained as she chalked her cue.

“Awesome, is that the blonde guy your always working with?”

“Yeah that’s Ash, he’s a cool guy.”

They both chatted away and played a few games until they were interrupted by AJ and Nick

“Time to go ladies.” AJ announced as he gave Rochelle a huge bear hug.

“OK?” Nick nodded to Kim

“Yeah” she smiled back

“COME ON GUYS N GALS THE PLANE WONT WAIT FOR YOU” Jenn shouted from across the room.

The four of them sheepishly headed over to pick their bags up. Nick grabbed his then picked Kim’s up.

“It’s Ok I got it.” Nick said as Kim tried to take it off him.

As Kim got on the plane she soon found she was seated next to Nick.

“How did you manage to get seats together at such short notice?” She asked.

“It’s a little of what you know but mostly who you know.” Nick laughed back.

Kim shook her head at him as she moved into the window seat. She watched Nick as he fidgeted around in his seat and fumbled with his seat belt.

As they taxied around the runway Kim watch the bright lights on floor begin to whizz passed her. There was a sudden jolt as the plane began to leave the floor causing both Kim and Nick to quickly grab onto the armrests of their seats. They both looked at each other and started to laugh.

“Scared of flying?” Kim asked

“Yeah a little, you?” Nick asked back trying to take deep breaths.

“Yeah a lot. I wouldn’t think you’d be scared of flying the amount of times you’ve been on an aeroplane.”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Remind me to tell you about why I’m scared when were back on the ground.”

As Nick relaxed a little he began to tell Kim about some of his future projects, Kim was amazed at the amount of stuff he had on the go and how he was able to juggle them so well.

“How do you fit it all in?” She enquired.

Nick shrugged. “I dunno, you just do I guess. I mean I’m so lucky to be where I am and I just wanna make the most out of it you know. I have great opportunities in life n I don’t wanna just waste them and get to the end of it all n wish I’d done something or tried something I hadn’t. It’s better to have tried and failed than have never tried and regretted.”

Kim nodded and smiled widely at him, she lifted her coke can and said.
“To always trying.”

Nick smiled back and did the same
“and never regretting.”

They soon touched down at Heathrow and quickly made their way through the huge airport and into mini vans that were waiting for them.
It took a little under half an hour to get to their hotel everyone was super tired so the journey was pretty quiet.
Kim and Nick were the last ones to get checked in, Kim decided to sit down with their bags while Nick sorted the rooms out as her back was aching from sitting so tensely on the plane. She scanned around the hotel lobby it was so beautiful better than anything she’d ever stayed in.
Even through the middle of the night the whole place looked so bright and welcoming. The floor was a grey marble there were brown leather seats spotted around the lobby and the welcome desk was a dark brown colour which matched the seats. Lots of abstract pictures hung around the walls and although it looked quiet posh and grand there was also a kind of contempary feel to the building.
Nick soon can over to and grabbed his bags.

“Ready?” He said as he headed for the lift.

Kim quickly followed him into the elevator after a very short ride the doors opened and Nick lead out along a long dim lit corridor.
As Kim trailed behind she noticed there weren’t many rooms on this floor. I wonder if that is because the inside of the rooms are so big. She imagined what they would look like until Nick stopped and turned to her, he held up two room keys.

“So this is you.” He said handing her one of the keys.

“You managed to get 2 rooms then.” She sleepily asked.

Nick just smiled at her.

“I wouldn’t have minded sharing you know, it’s only for a few days.” She continued as she rubbed her eyes.

“Good job.” Nick said as he stuck his key card in the door.

Kim looked at him puzzled.

“They didn’t have a spare room so I said they could just put us together.” He winked.

Kim looked at him surprisingly. “Well that’s a risky little game you’ve just played.”

Nick continued to grin as he opened the door and allowed Kim to enter first. She walked in and let her tired eyes quickly explore the room.

“Wow, it’s so nice. I don’t think I’ve ever stayed in a room this big it’s nearly as big as my house. She joked. “Only one bed though?”

“Yeah but you don’t mind sharing remember.” He threw his bag down and flopped onto the king sized bed.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhh that’s good.”

Kim chucked a cushion at him from the huge grey sofa next to her.

“I’m just gunna freshen up a little before I sleep.”
She grabbed her back pack and hunted around for the bathroom.

After a quick wash and brushed teeth Kim emerged from the bathroom she looked over to see Nick still sprawled across the bed but he’d fallen asleep. She looked at him a little and smiled at his little snores escaped. He was taking up most of the bed but she did not want to disturb him as she guessed he needed the sleep after the show and journey straight after,
So she carefully removed his trainers and threw a little blanket which she had found in a cupboard over him.
There was an extra blanket left and some spare pillows so used them to turn the sofa into a bed, she didn’t mind though as she knew she’d be asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.
She lay on the sofa staring at the ceiling wanting desperately to replay her day in her head, but her tired eyes wouldn’t let her as they slowly closed and she drifted off into a deep sleep.

Chapter 15

Kim woke up with a sharp pain in her neck from how she had been sleeping on the sofa. As her eyes adjusted, she looked over to the bed but it was empty, she shuffled up on the sofa so she could sit up and faintly heard the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. She smiled to herself in the knowledge that Nick was still around, the pain in her neck was getting worse so she slowly rolled her head back and forth and squeezed her neck trying to relieve the pain.

I had better tell my mom I’m back in the UK and safe. Kim said to herself.

She scanned the room and spotted her phone laying on a desk the other side of the room, she scrunched her face up at the thought of having to get out from under her warm blanket and face the cold.
Kim sat there quietly for a few seconds then decided to count to three, then she could jump up grab the phone off the side and dive back under her blanket before the cold could claim her.

1-2-3.

She threw the blanket off her and jumped up the cold air instantly hit her skin causing her teeth to chatter as Goosebumps appeared on her arms and legs.
Passing the bathroom door she could hear Nick singing in the shower.
Kim quietly giggled as she pressed her ear up against the door to try and hear what he was singing.

- Hey where did we go,
Days when the rains came
Down in the hollow,
Playin' a new game,
Laughing and a running hey, hey
Skipping and a jumping
In the misty morning fog with
Our hearts a thumpin' and you
My brown eyed girl,
You my brown eyed girl. –


As she heard the water stop running, she jumped away from the door and ran over to the huge bed, she climbed across it and crawled underneath heavy duvet, snuggling in to get warm. Nick was loudly pottering around in the bathroom so Kim quickly text her mom put her phone on the bedside table and picked up the TV remote, she switched the TV on and began to watch GMTV the clock in the corner of the screen said 7.58am Kim sighed and threw her head into the bouncy pillow.

I really shouldn’t be awake at this time Eurgh!!! She huffed.

Kim flicked through a few channels she found Everybody Loves Raymond so stopped to watch it. Nick shortly appeared out from the bathroom she felt her body begin to tingle as she eyed him standing there in just grey sweat pants.

“Hey you.” He said as he ruffled his wet hair with a towel
“So you finally decided to get into bed then?”

Kim shyly smiled as Nick approached the bed and jumped onto it to lay beside her.

“If you don’t wanna share a bed I’ll take the couch you know, it’s cool I don’t mind.”

Kim rolled onto her side so she could look at his face better.

“Nah it’s cool, me on the couch wasn’t my plan but when I came out of the bathroom you were sparked out in the middle of the bed n I didn’t wanna wake you to tell you to move over so I just used the sofa.”

Nick kissed Kim on the nose.

“What you watchin.” He asked as he crashed into the pillow behind him.

“Everybody Loves Raymond.”

Nick pulled a face.

“What you don’t like it?” Kim asked.

“Errr Nope.” Nick instantly replied.

“How can you not like this? It’s funny.”

“It’s not that funny n man that dudes voice gets on my nerves.” Nick tried to defend himself.
“Daytime TV sucks anyway I’m glad I don’t get to see much of it.” He continued.

Kim knew she wasn’t going to win this one so she decided to change the subject.

“So what’s on the agenda for today then?”

Nick stretched his arm out and placed it around Kim pulling her close to him. She placed her head on his chest and he began to curl a loose strand of her hair around his finger.

“I gotta a TV interview then a radio one then I’m done for the day. I think I may be coming down with something though.”
He let out a fake cough.
“I may have to stay in bed today.” He joked.

Kim titled her head to look up at him; she winced as the sharp pain returned to her neck.

“You’re going to work Nicky; I’ll keep the bed warm for you though.” Kim cheekily winked.

“I like the thought of that.” Nick pretended to be imagining Kim in bed waiting for him to return.

Kim went to give him a playful dig but her sore neck stopped her.

“What’s the matter is your neck hurting you?”

“Yeah it’s nothing though I just must have slept funny, it’ll go away soon.” Kim rubbed her neck again.

“Come here you.” Nick said.

He shuffled up the bed and sat up, parting his legs he signalled for Kim to sit in the gap. Kim reluctantly from the cold moved to sit between Nicks legs, she got comfortable and he began to gently rub her neck using his thumbs to apply pressure where she said the pain was.

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH” Kim groaned.

“I take it that means you like it then.” He began to giggle.

“MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”

Nick moved Kim’s ponytail out of the way so her neck was fully exposed to him, he spread his hands down to the base of her neck then started to rub along her collar bone softly kissing her neck.
Kim dropped her head forward and moaned slightly as he kissed her soft spot. Her head rolled back as his lips made their way around her neck, his thumb traced her jaw line till it reached her chin she opened her mouth slightly and stuck her tongue out to push his thumb inside her mouth where she gently sucked it. As she reached the tip with her tongue, she pushed it back out of her mouth then closed her eyes as she felt his moist thumb slide down her neck.
Nicks fingers traced the neckline of Kim’s vest then he slowly slid his hand inside her top.
Kim moved her head so she could kiss Nick but just as their lips met the hotel phone began to ring, she pulled away but he followed her.

“Answer the phone.” She said between kisses.

Nick grunted not happy that he had to stop and reached out for the phone.
Kim hopped up and straddled Nick as he answered, she began to repay the favour by kissing his neck and chest whilst he talked on the phone he tried not to giggle as her soft touches tickled him.
Nick put the phone down and looked into Kim’s eyes he pulled a disgruntled face.

“I gotta go baby, cars comin in 10 mins.”
He planted another kiss on Kim’s lips then threw her onto her back as he got off the bed.
Kim propped herself up on her elbows and watched him as he quickly changed into jeans and a hoodie and grabbed a cap. He turned back to Kim.

“What you gunna do? I’ll be back before 2pm.”

Kim smiled. “I’m just gunna chill here maybe try n get a little more sleep. I get bad headaches when I’m tired.”

“Cool I’ll be as quick as I can, my laptop is in my bag if you wanna use it or you can order some food or a movie whatever.” He leant over and gave her a kiss.
“I gotta go Jenn hates me when I’m late.”

“OK have fun, Oh what show are you on I’ll watch.”

“Erm I think it’s This Morning or so something like that but I’ll text you to let you know when I get downstairs.”
He ran back over to her for another kiss.

“Ok I really gotta go.”

As the door shut Kim collapsed into the bed her whole body was burning with desire, she had never wanted someone as much as she wanted him and she hated how she constantly found herself fighting every thought and emotion inside her so she would not let her head run away with her and have to deal with such heart ache once this was over.

Gosh I’m so gunna bust if this carries on much longer.

She ran her hands over her face and through her tangled hair.

I gotta take a shower n cool off a little.

Chapter 16


Nick was bouncing off the walls throughout the two interviews he was like a little kids overflowing with excitement on Christmas Eve, filled with the anticipation and hope of what the next day would bring.


Back at the hotel he darted out of the elevator and quickly made his way along the corridor to his room, juggling what was in his hands he fumbled around trying to release his key card from his wallet.
As he entered the room, he could hear the TV, sounded like Friends was on.

What’s with all the re runs? He said to himself.

Due to his hectic schedule he never watched much TV he preferred films or sports, something he could just pick up whenever he had some time out.

As he peered around the corner of the room he saw Kim fast asleep on the bed, she looked like a little angel resting on a white fluffy cloud.
He threw his stuff on the side table then knelt down beside the bed and rested his head on his folded arms as he watched her softly breathe in and out. A small curl had fell onto her face, he’d not seen her curly hair before and smiled as he pushed the damp curl from her face not being able to wait any longer he began to gently called her to wake up.

“Wakey, wakey sleepy head.”

Kim began to stir but kept her eyes closed.

“Good afternoon.” He whispered again.

She rolled onto her side so she became face to face with him but still kept her eyes shut.
Nick was fast losing patience; he found it difficult to have to wait for things so he playfully flicked her on her forehead then quickly returned to looking at her angelically.

Kim opened one eye and pulled a cross face.

“Finally!” He chuckled.

Kim kept the one eye on Nick and began to smile, she ran her tongue over her teeth and licked her dry lips before croaking.

“Hey you.”

Her heavy head sank further into the oversized pillow so only half of her face could be seen now.

“Miss me?” Nick instantly asked.

“Yeah like a whole in the head.” Kim playfully retaliated.

Nick looked at her puzzled not fully understanding what she ment.

“I got you something.” He beamed.

Kim raised her one free eyebrow as a way to ask what it was. Nick looked down to his side then as if by magic produced a large Starbucks cup.

“White chocolate mocha.” He grinned.
“With cream and cinnamon dusting.”

He held up the container looking increasingly pleased with himself.
That was Kim’s favourite drink although she tried not to have it too often, as it was so sweet but she could never resist.

“You remembered.” She gasped as she quickly shuffled up the bed so she could sit up and drink it.

“Of course I did.” He still grinned as he lent on the bed to get to his feet.

Kim began to sip the coffee as she watched him remove his jacket.

“So I know how to get you out of bed, it’s just how to get you into it now.” Nick smirked as he hung the jacket up.

Not expecting to hear a comment like that Kim’s coffee went down the wrong way causing her to cough and splutter. Nick spun round and laughed as she wiped her mouth and caught her breath.

“Oh my god I can’t believe you just said that.” Kim said as her cheeks began to flush.

Nick pulled his best I am innocent face. “What, what? I didn’t say anything.” He toyed.

Kim shook her head and chuckled. Nick took a run and jump onto the bed, collapsing next to her.

“So what you wanna do then?” He asked. “A few of them were on about goin to a club or something tonight, but I don’t mind staying in it’s up to you.”

Kim thought about it for a few minutes. “A club could be fun, I’ve not been out for ages, who’s goin?”

“Cool, erm AJ n Ro, Q obliviously. Erm, Jenn n the girls and Justin, pretty much everyone except D n Leigh n Bri n Leighanne and the kiddies.”

Kim took another sip of her coffee n nodded in acceptance.

“I got nothing to wear though.” She screwed up her face. “I’ve only got my work bag with me.”

“That’s not a problem Oxford Street is only around the corner we’ll go find you something.”

“OK I’ll just finish this up then.” Kim said trying to gulp down her coffee.

Nick lay there watching her as she let out little laughs every now and then at what was on the TV. Just as he began plotting how he could smoothly achieve another kiss there was a loud knock at the door.
Nick sighed displeased at yet another interruption; he reluctantly rolled off the bed and headed for the door where more loud, impatient knocks were being made.
He flung the door open to see AJ n Rochelle standing there.

“Yeah?” he asked resenting his friends call.

“Yo bro, were heading out to do a bit a shopping n wondered if you two wanted to come?”

Nick expressionlessly looked at the pair of them.

“Yeah I guess,” He rolled his eyes. “we were headin out anyway, Kim needed something to wear for tonight.”

“Super! We just gotta wait for Q then we can go, we’re gunna head down for a smoke, I can’t frickin believe you can’t smoke in this place. Who fuckin chose this place? Heads are gunna roll man.” AJ mellow dramatically joked as Rochelle gave him a gentle push to get over himself.

“OK you go smoke before the world ends, we’ll be down in a minute.”

“Righty Oh governa, Come on wench.” AJ said in his London accent as he turned to Rochelle and playfully slapped her on the ass.

Nick let the door shut as he turned and headed back to Kim who had begun to get ready for the shopping trip.

“Ok so shoppin n coffee get you moving.” He jested.
Kim looked up to him and smiled.

“Coffee yeah but shoppin NOOOO!”

Kim grabbed her makeup bag and headed for the bathroom. Seeing she had left the door open Nick went over, lent up the doorframe, and watched as she began to apply the make up to her face.

“So you don’t like shopping? I thought all girls loved shopping.” He queried.

“Erm, I do like shopping a bit but clothes shopping kinda does my head in, you know?”

Nick shook his head not understanding what she was getting at.

Kim saw him through the mirror and continued.

“I like buying things but with clothes it just annoys me after a while. You have to search through the shop, then when you do find something you like they either don’t have your size or have to go out back and locate it. Then you have to try it on and it very rarely fits properly so then you have to go back out find a few different sizes, go back n try them on, they’ll either be to tight or way to big so you’ll just end up with the first thing you picked anyway. It’s just all a bit of a chore.”

Kim began to laugh as she saw Nick’s lost expression.

“O Kay.” He puffed as he turned to escape from the mad woman.

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled out his phone as he decided it would be fun to leave some cryptic message on his twitter page for people to try and decode.

Kim emerged from the bathroom a few moments later and grabbed her bag and coat, double-checking she had her phone and purse.

“Good to go?” She asked as she checked her reflection in the mirror.

Nick looked up to see Kim in grey skinny jeans a long white top hung from underneath her fitted black jacket. She had tied her hair up so her curls were hidden again.

“You ever just wear your hair down?” Nick got to his feet and stretched out.

“Sometimes but it’s a bit wild so it’s very rare.” Kim responded.

“I like the curls, there cute.”

Kim stared at Nick. “I hate them.” She huffed as she headed for the door.

A few hours had passed as they trailed the streets being mid week it was pretty quiet out there so they were only stopped a few times mostly by tourists who instantly recognised AJ and were then even more pleased when they realised Nick was with him too.
As the two of them stopped for a few photo’s and gave out a few autographs Kim and Rochelle took the opportunity to get some quiet shopping done in a nearby store.

“You know what you’re wearing tonight?” Kim asked Rochelle hoping for some inspiration.

Rochelle held up several dresses against herself.
“I’m not too sure there’s just too much to choose from.” She laughed “You?”

“I dunno I’m still looking for inspiration.” Kim answered as she examined a super high pair of black shoes.

“OOOh there hot.” Rochelle said joining Kim at the shoes. “You should so get them.”

Kim looked at them a little more. “I dunno they seem a bit high for me, I’m more of a trainer’s girl.”

“You know we should get ready together to night It’ll be fun. AJ can go n hang with Nick n leave us to it.”

Kim smiled a little unsure. “Yeah OK.” She finally gave into herself.

“Cool, I’m pretty stoked about tonight now.” Rochelle flashed a huge smile as she headed off to the changing rooms.

Kim looked around a little longer then decided to just grab a few different outfits, she was getting bored of it now and would end up with nothing if she didn’t hurry up.

The two soon emerged from the store with several bags. AJ and Nick were still talking to fans where Kim and Rochelle had left them.
A few fans recognised Rochelle and asked for pictures with her.

A girl looked over Kim. “Are you Nick’s girlfriend?” She asked politely.

Kim glanced at Nick and smiled. “No I’m just a friend of Rochelle’s.” She quickly answered

“Oh.” The girl looked at Kim coyly then turned her attentions back to AJ and Rochelle.

Nick stayed the other side of Q and began playing with his phone.

Kim felt her bag vibrate and pulled out her phone to see a message from Nick.

Hey girlfriend! X

She burst out laughing as she read it causing everyone to look over in her direction. She felt herself go red then quickly put the phone back in her bag.

“OK guys we better get going now, say bye ladies.” Q boomed as he began to lead the boys away.

Knowing all eyes were on the group AJ, Nick walked slightly ahead as Q hung back with Rochelle and Kim.
AJ turned around waving his phone and shouted to them,

“Jenn’s just around the corner you guys wanna get food?”

All of them yelled back “Yeah” as they followed AJ lead the way round to Jenn.

After a lengthy walk, they reached a place called Cape Town Fish Market. Kim followed Nick over to the conveyer belt where Jenn and the others were sitting.

“Hey you found us then.” Jenn beamed as soon as she saw everyone.

Nick signalled to Kim to sit in a seat and hopped up on the stool next to her.

“So you like sushi?” He asked grateful they finally had the opportunity to sit and talk.

Kim curled her mouth up. “It’s ok, I eat it but I’m more of a steak n chips girl, I like some think I can sink my teeth into.”
She began to laugh as Nick flared his nostrils and cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Howie n Bri have gone to a bar n grill place around the corner if you wanna go somewhere else?” Jenn butted in from overhearing their conversation.
“Baylee was buggin Leighanne for a burger.” She continued.

“Nah this is cool.” Kim smiled back.

As she picked up a bowl containing Californian rolls one of the girls with Jenn called Nicole began asking Kim a series of questions about her background. Nick sat there silently picking at his food, Kim saw he looked a little pissed so she placed her hand on his knee and gave it a gentle squeeze.
As soon as Nicole gave Kim a break from the interrogation, she turned to Nick and softly asked.

“Are you OK?”

Nick smiled again as soon as she spoke to him and his mood began to lift.

“Yeah I’m fine, Just hate that every time I think I get to spend a few minutes with you there’s an interruption or something. At least we get a few hours before we have to go out tonight.” He smiled.

Kim bit her bottom lip. “I guess this would be a bad time to tell you then that Rochelle wants us to get ready together later?”

Nick placed his head in his hand and let out a heavy sigh, he opened one eye at peered out from behind his hand at Kim beginning to smile.

“We’re so not coming outta that hotel room tomorrow.” He jested.

“English coming out for a smoke?” AJ shouted from across the other side of the conveyor belt.

Kim and Nick both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Yeah come on then.” She shouted back hopping off the stool.

“You coming with or you waiting here?” She asked turning to Nick.

“I’ll wait it’s too cold out there.” He joked.

“OK be right back.” Kim grinned as she just about stopped herself from planting a kiss on his cheek.

Nick watched as she followed Jenn, AJ and Rochelle out of the restaurant, he could still see her through the huge glass windows that surrounded the building.

Q shuffled around to Nick. “How’s it goin buddy?”

Nick nodded his head and took a sip of drink as he looked over his shoulder again to check Kim was still outside.

Q smiled to himself it had been a long time since he’d seen Nick this way about someone but then remembered how badly that had ended.

“So how’s it going with you and Kim? She seems pretty cool.”

Nick smiled at the sound of her name. “She is man, It’s going well I think. It’s just a ball ache that I never seem to have enough time alone with her you know, if I’m not busy with work then she is or when were both free someone always interrupts.”

Q nodded his head fully understanding Nicks complaint, he paused for a second before asking.

“So have you two talked at all about what’s gunna happen after this leg ends?”

Nick sighed and played with the label on his water bottle as he took another glance over to Kim. This time she spotted him and widely smiled through the window as he winked back.

“No, I’ve not mentioned it to her but it’s driving me mad. I really can’t see how I can just let go of her and that’s the end of it. I know it’s been pretty intense and I just keep thinking I’ve only known her for a few months but I really can’t imagine any time without her.” Nick signed as sorrow came over him.

“You need to have this talk with her dude, see what she’s thinking and try and sort something out.”

Nick shook his head. “I can’t Q, we both promised we’d just see what happens n be cool about the whole situation. I can’t now just turn round n be all Hey I can’t live without you.”

Q stroked his chin with his hand as if he was deep in thought.

“You know it’s a real shame there’s no way she can work on the next leg of the tour. Maybe the extra time together could help you both finally admit to how you really feel about each other.”

Nick stopped pulling the label from his bottle and turned his head to eye Q.

Q smiled back broadly and shrugged his shoulders.

“But hey what do I know I’m just the security guy.” He winked at Nick as he got up from the seat leaving him to ponder what he’d just said.

Kim came back shortly after and was about to sit down as Nick stopped her.

“You wanna head back to the hotel or you got more shopping to do?” He asked counting out some money to settle the bill.

“Yeah lets go back I’m bored with shops now.”

Nick grinned thankful for Kim’s answer.

“Jenn we’re going back now I need to send a few emails n that, so we’ll catch up with you guy’s at the club yeah?”

Jenn nodded to Nick as she looked at her watch she gasped. “Is that the time already? Where has the day gone? We’ll come back with you I need to start getting ready soon anyway.”

They all exited the sushi bar and headed down the now busy evening London streets back to their hotel.

Chapter 17

Nick had spent most of his time since he got back either on the phone or on his laptop. Kim had gone over to Rochelle so AJ had been banished to Nick’s room and had sprawled out over the bed watching Family Guy.

“You better get ready soon dude, it’ll be time to go shortly.” AJ looked over to Nick.

“Yeah, yeah al – most - done.” He answered back as he taped the last key on his keyboard.

Nick took a huge stretch back and closed his laptop he jumped out of his seat and headed towards the bathroom.

“What you been working on?” AJ asked as he watched Nick grab some stuff off the side table.

Nick’s face lit up as he winked and tapped his nose at AJ.
AJ rolled his eyes and went back to watching the TV.

15 minutes later Nick emerged from the bathroom in just his boxers and socks looking clean shaven, he pulled on a pair of dark jeans and eyed up a few T-shirts before deciding on a dark grey V neck and a black jacket. He checked himself over in the mirror and adjusted a few strands of hair before picking out some grey canvas pumps.

“You ready Jizzle?” he said turning to AJ.

“Yeah let me just check on Ro.”

AJ picked up the hotel phone and dialled his room number. Nick lent up the wall and rolled his eyes as he listened to AJ making soppy baby noises to Rochelle over the phone.

“They’ll be ready in about 5 minutes.” AJ announced as he replaced the receiver then made his way to the mirror.
Nick headed to the door and entered the long narrow corridor, AJ soon followed letting the door swing shut behind him.
The two men waited in the corridor as 5 minutes turned into 10 Nick huffed and rested onto the wall, he pulled out his phone and began checking messages laughing occasionally at AJ who had become increasingly bored and began to struggle with the wait for his next cigarette.

The door to AJ and Rochelle’s room finally opened, Nick never noticed as he’d become so engrossed in is phone but AJ who was squatting on the floor shot to his feet and beamed as he caught sight of Rochelle in a white dress with brilliant bright pink lilies spotted around it. Her shinny black hair sat nicely on her shoulders and accentuated the blueness of her eyes and the redness of her lips.
AJ instantly went to her side and squeezed her tightly liked he had not seen her for a many years.

“Missed you monkey.” AJ said in between kisses from Rochelle. “You look amazing.” He continued.

“Wait till you see Kim.” Rochelle whispered to AJ.

She called out to Kim you was reluctant to leave the room as she felt extremely self-conscious and over dressed.
Kim stood behind the door for a few seconds trying to compose herself then took a deep breath as she stepped out into the corridor.

“Wow.” AJ gasped.

“I know right?” Rochelle beamed with pride at her marvellous work.

The voices finally caused Nick to lift his eyes from his phone as he did he spotted a pair of extremely high black shoes standing in the doorway, his gaze slowly move up a pair of long exposed legs.
Nick forgot to breathe as he saw Kim standing in front of him wearing a sexy short, black off the shoulder, goddess style dress, her wild curls had been tamed into glossy waves that hung over her shoulders.
Nick continued to examine her with his eyes, all he could do was smile as she swallowed hard feeling increasingly uncomfortable from the silence and stares.

“You scrub up well English.” AJ said finally breaking the silence.

“Thanks” Kim shyly smiled dropping her eyes to the floor.

Rochelle gently nudged AJ to look at a still silent Nick mesmerized by the vision in front of him. They both quietly giggled with each other causing Nick to snap back to reality. Remembering his manors, he quickly cleared his throat.

“Hey, you erm,,,,, You look amazing!” he stumbled.

“Thanks” Kim repeated as she began biting the bottom of her lip. “Rochelle’s a very clever lady.”

“Oh please I hardly had to do anything.” Rochelle burst.

Kim shot her and embarrassed smile.

“Shall we get going then?” AJ interrupted.

AJ and Rochelle lead the way to the elevator singing ‘Let’s have a party’ with Kim and Nick slowly following behind them, shyly glancing at each other and smiling nervously like it was some kind of first date.


When the four of them reached, the club they were able to go straight through, Jenn was good friends with the owner so she had been able to arrange for them all to have a VIP section of the club so they could relax away from crowds.
The club was pretty vibrant for mid week as Kim followed Nick up the stairs to the VIP area she could feel the loud music pounding on her chest, they were lead into a little cordoned off area which overlooked the main dance floor below.
Kim scanned around the club trying to familiarise herself with the surroundings, there were two levels to the club the down stairs had a bar a huge dance floor a slight raised level for the DJ and a few seating areas.
There were two sets of stairs either side of the club which lead up to the VIP area, it was a pretty open plan up there with a huge bar that ran along the back wall and several area’s which were separated with glass partitions and thick red ropes. There were security guy’s positioned at the top and bottom of each staircase and each section had its own waitress.
The VIP area was quiet, there were only two other groups up there but Kim did not recognise any of them to be celebrities and they did not take any notice of Nick or AJ.

Once Kim had got through the initial attention and compliments from everyone in the group she felt herself begin to relax a little, the waitress came over and asked Kim what she wanted to drink, she ordered a rum and coke and watch as girls began to rush the stairs in the hope of a glimpse of a Backstreet boy.
Nick and AJ decided to hand out a few autographs and take a few pictures with the girls in the hope that they would be left alone to enjoy the rest of their evening.
Kim sat down on a huge leather chair and took sips of her rum and coke as she people watched over the balcony.
The atmosphere surrounding the girls who were hanging around Nick and AJ differed from earlier it was no longer happy and exciting but rather dark and catty.
The few girls that wouldn’t leave AJ or Nicks side were obviously out to bag themselves a celebrity and showed no shame in being overly seductive and flirtatious, they would even throw up the odd dirty look to Kim, Rochelle, Jenn and the other girls with them.

Kim quickly finished her drink before ordering another one from the waitress, she felt herself becoming more and more pissed off with the girls trying it on with Nick and AJ, both guys were obviously not interested and deflected every advance that was made but the girls still kept going.
Jealousy soon began to spread through Kim she could feel her body becoming hotter and hotter with rage, she hated how the girls kept touching Nick like he was their property, as she ordered her third drink she looked over to see Rochelle happily dancing away on her seat, smiling and just enjoying herself as much as she could. Kim moved over to sit by Rochelle.

“Hey sweetie, how’s it going? This place is amazing isn’t it, you look awesome tonight.” Rochelle shouted through the music.

Kim smiled back feeling a little less angry with the groupie girls.

“Yeah its cool here and thank you again for helping me get ready.”

Kim started her next drink and watched as AJ finally caught Rochelle’s eyes and mouthed I love you to her causing her to instantly mouth it back. Kim sighed and took another sip.

“How do you it Rochelle?” Kim finally asked.

“Do what?” Rochelle looked at her puzzled.

“How do you just not let all those girls acting like that around your man bother you?” Kim re questioned.

Rochelle gave her a sympathetic smile and turned into her.

“It’s difficult to watch the first few times I know, but it’s all part and parcel of his job and I have to accept that, else ‘WE’ don’t work, I mean what kinda girlfriend would I be if I started stropping every time a girl looked at him? There not all skanky hoes, you’ll soon get to identify the sweeties from the nasties believe me.”
Rochelle paused to proudly look over at her future husband.

“It’s just about trust honey and I know I can trust AJ with my life, the way I see it is, take a look around, out of all the girls across the world he could have, he chose me and while he’s over there with them who does he keep looking at? ME! That’s big you know. I love my baby and he loves me and if I’m honest with you well, I kinda find it a compliment that so many others wish he was theirs.”

Kim smiled as Rochelle’s words of wisdom created an instant calming effect over her, she looked over to Nick who was looking straight back at her making her whole body feel warm and fuzzy as Rochelle’s words still swirled around in her mind.

Q soon brought the surprise meet and greet to an end to the boys could get back to their party. Nick sat down next to Kim and ordered them both a drink,

“Phew, it never stops.” He joked as he ran a hand over his face.

The waitress soon returned with the drinks he took a few gulps to quench his thirst and placed his bottle on the table in front of him.

“So you ha,” his words were interrupted as Kim was snatched from her seat by Jenn and Rochelle and pulled up to dance with them.

Nick threw his hands up in the air as they came crashing back down he dropped his head back into the oversized leather sofa he was on and blew out.

“For fucks sake” he cussed.

He leant forward and grabbed his bottle taking small sips then slouched back into his chair, he watched Kim dancing in front of him, he soon began to feel himself being turned on from how she looked on the dance floor. Every sway of her body made him want to hold her and touch her more and more. He loved how happy and content she looked whilst she danced, he continued to admire her from his seat until he was distracted by AJ’s crazy dancing to the side of him.

The club stayed open till the small hours of the morning Kim had danced most of the night away and although Nick had really enjoyed himself he had spent most of the night counting down the hours till he could finally have some alone time with Kim back at the hotel.


As the elevator doors opened Rochelle jumped onto AJ’s back moaning that her feet hurt too much to walk to the door.
Kim had linked arms with Nick and was carrying her shoes with her free hand.
Each couple said their goodnights as they reached their rooms, AJ and Rochelle were in a fit of giggles as a sleepy AJ tried very badly to negotiate the door way with Rochelle still clinging to his back. Nick shook his head then opened the door as Kim silently walked passed him throwing her shoes up the corner of the room as she entered. Nick locked the door behind him and smiled happy that they were finally alone and wouldn’t be disturbed for once.

“So did you have fun?” Nick asked trying to make a little small talk as he removed his jacket.

“Yeah I had a really fun night except.”

“Except what?” Nick quickly interrupted.

Kim looked over to Nick “Well it just sucked that I didn’t get much time alone with you.”

Nick made his way over to Kim smiling then threw his arms around her waist pulling her into him.

“Yeah I know I was feelin the same, but,”
He cheekily grinned and looked around the room.
“Theirs no one else around now.”
He whispered as he gave up fighting his urges he had been suppressing all night and threw his lips onto hers.

Kim closed her eyes and kissed him back as hard as she could, her whole body tingled as his hand slid up her back and into her hair making sure she had nowhere to go.
Nick groaned lightly as passion and desire engulfed his body, he squeezed Kim a little tighter and gently lifted her up, she instantly wrapped her legs around his waist and continued to explore his mouth wildly with her tongue.
Nick spun around with her still attached to him and backed her up against the cold wall next to their bed, he parted from the kiss to quickly catch his breath then began to kiss down her neck and along her naked shoulder.
Using her back Kim pushed into the wall causing Nick to stumble backwards onto the bed where their lips met again.
They were like wild teenagers lost in the moment trying to soak up as much of each other as they possibly could, Nick flipped Kim so she was pinned underneath him then gently slipped the strap of her dress off her shoulder and kissed along her collar bone until she abruptly stopped him. He stroked a stray piece of hair off her face and looked down on her as she radiated back to him, her eyes began to grow wide causing Nick to suddenly feel concerned that he’d hurt her or done something wrong.
Kim continued to look deep into his eyes.

“Are you OK?”
Nick asked as he pulled back slightly.
“Did I do something wrong?”

Kim smiled then took a deep breath.

“We both know where this is heading right?”
She softly spoke.

Nick looked confused. “Hmmm.”

Propping herself up on her elbows Kim took yet another deep breath.

“Nicky, I want this really I do but.” She hesitated.

“Kimmy, just say whatever it is please.” Nick huffed.

“Ok but don’t think I’m a dork when I say this ok.” She looked at Nick for reassurance.

“Well it’s just I’m a little drunk and I really don’t want our first time together to be just some clouded memory, you know what I mean?”
As the words escaped her mouth Kim felt herself burn up with embarrassment.

Why do I have to have such high bloody morals? She thought to herself.

Nick’s heart began to warm as her words became clear in his head, he looked down into her eyes and smiled. If he was asked to explain how he felt at that moment he would have never found the right words but to him it all made sense and was as clear as day, he knew he was falling in love with her and comments like that just confirmed his feelings even more.
He softly kissed her forehead and although every inch of him wanted to say the words ‘I love you’ he fort back the urge.

“That’s ok, I don’t mind waiting and I want you to be 100% sure and comfortable with any situation, but.”

He planted another kiss on her then a cheeky grin formed across his face.
Kim cocked an eyebrow desperate to know what he was thinking.

“But what?” She quickly inquired.

“But that doesn’t mean we have to stop foolin around.”
He still looked like a cheeky devil as he pushed Kim down into the bed and began engulfing her with kisses again.

Chapter 18

Kim woke the next morning a gap in the curtain allowed the sunlight to beat down on her face, turning her head she smiled to see Nick still asleep next to her.
She got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom still smiling from thoughts of last night’s make out, checking her reflection in the bathroom mirror she scrunched her face up at the sight of her dark eyes from smudged make up and her tangled hair sticking up.

“Eurgh!” she muttered, then ran her tongue over her teeth as she reached for her toothbrush.


About 20 minutes later she emerged from the bathroom feeling fresh and clean with a towel wrapped around her body and her hair dripping wet, she looked over to the bed to see Nick had woken up and was watching a show called Jeremy Kyle although he didn’t look to impressed by it.

“Morning” she said with a huge smile.

“Hey you” Nick instantly beamed back.

Kim ran a comb through her hair then tied it back in a messy bun as she made her way over to the edge of the bed. Nick shuffled over then pulled back the heavy duvet as a signal for her to get in beside him. Kim hesitated for a second she didn’t want to make the bed damp from her wet towel so she back tracked and quickly slipped on a pair of clean underwear and one of Nicks old T-shirts that was laying on the side. As she jumped in beside him he quickly wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

“So what’s the plan for today then?” Kim asked as she gently rested her head on his chest.

“I dunno, I’d quite like to just spend the day chillin out and relaxin, how bout you?”

Kim lifted her head and smiled. “I like the idea of that.”

Getting a little over excited she jumped up to her knees.

“We could watch movies and eat sweets all day.” She beamed.

Nick chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“OK so I’ll go n have a quick cigarette and grab us some supplies from the shop and you can decided what you wanna watch while I’m gone.” Kim continued.

“Sounds like a well thought out plan to me.” Nick laughed.

Kim dashed over to her belongings and quickly slipped on a pair of black combats and her trainers, leaving Nicks T shirt on she pulled an oversized hoodie of hers over the top.

“Any requests from the shop?” she turned to Nick who was still smiling at her.

“Erm no, just surprise me, do you want me to come with you?”

Kim shook her head, “Nah it’s ok, it’s only across the road and I’ll be quicker on my own.”

Kim made her way back over to the bed and softly kissed Nick, as she went to pull away he quickly wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her back into him.

“OK Romeo, hold that thought and I’ll be back soon.” Kim breathlessly said as she finally managed to break away.

Nick pouted not wanting to let go and if it wasn’t for the fact he was desperate to use the bathroom he would have held on for dear life.
Quickly pecking his cheek Kim then jumped up and headed for the door.

“Be quick.” Nick shouted after her.

“I will.” She shouted back as the door began to close behind her.

Nothing could have been able to remove the smile from Nicks face, it was the most content he had felt for a long time. He jumped out of bed and switched his laptop on as he made his way over to the bathroom.


20 minutes later Kim arrived back at the hotel she decided to have another cigarette as she didn’t see herself coming back out of the room any time soon. Just as she inhaled her phone began to ring, she dug deep into her pockets trying to locate it as she pulled it out of her pocket she saw Ash’s name flashing up on the screen.

“Hey you.” She answered the phone.

“Hello, how’s London looking?” Ash answered back.

“Pretty grey as always.” Kim jested. “So how’s the trip over going?”

“It’s been ok nothing exciting to report back, we should be in Calais in a few hours.”

“Wow so soon.” Kim asked surprised.

“Yeah, the trips been pretty quick, we missed a few stop over’s so we could get over quicker.”

“What’s with the rush?”

“Well I’ve been summoned to a meeting with the Backstreet’s management as soon as we reach Manchester and they want you to come to.”

Kim’s heart dropped feeling a sudden panic wash over her she tried to speak but kept stuttering.

“Wwwhat’s it about? It’s because of the whole Nick thing isn’t it? I’ve got you in trouble now haven’t I?”

“I honestly don’t know Kim, I didn’t get a reason all they said was that they needed to speak with me and that I needed to bring you to. I don’t think it can be bad though, if it was I’m sure they’d have us in an office before then and anyway your over there with them and their manager so surely you’d pick up on anything if it was bad news”
Ash tried comfort Kim but no words would be able to stop her from feeling so crappy.

“So what should I do then? Should I make my way up to Manchester now?” Kim muttered.

“Nah, our crossing is not till late afternoon, we couldn’t get on an earlier one so we won’t make it up to Manchester till late evening so you may as well just head up 1st thing in the morning.”

“Are you sure? I feel really shitty now like I’ve got you in trouble.” Kim softly spoke.

“Don’t be silly, you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.”

“So what the hell is it about then Ash?”

“Kim you need to calm down seriously if these guy’s don’t want you around they don’t let it linger they just get rid of you, believe me, I put money on it just being some kind of wind down meeting, it’s nearly the end now so they’ll pro bust wanna say thanks and well done for your hard work.”

“But why would they need me there then?”

“I don’t know Kim, maybe because your female and they just want to know how you found it or something like that. Look if you’re that worried ask Nick to find out for you.” Ash was becoming a little impatient with Kim now.

“Ok Ok I’ll calm down, I just don’t want you to be in trouble for something I’ve done.”

“I won’t be, like I said if we’d done anything wrong they would have just got rid of us instantly. Ok.”
Ash still tried to reassure Kim but inside he was just as worried he not been called to a meeting like this before.

“Ok” Kim exhaled deeply allowing her blood pressure to slowly return to normal.

“Cool so ring me in the morning when you get on the train n I’ll come get you from the station OK.”

“OK thanks Ash.”

“No problems, now don’t spend your day stressing over it. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye Ash.”

Kim slowly made her way into the hotel and up to her room as she reached the door she could hear Nick shouting in the room as quick as she could she opened to door and flew inside to find Nick sitting at his laptop cursing because he couldn’t pass the level he was on in his game.
She shook her head and threw her carrier bag onto the bed causing Nick to jump when he noticed her.

“Hey you’re finally back.” He smiled trying to hide his embarrassment from being caught over reacting to his game.

“Yeah.” Kim quietly answered

“Is everything Ok?” Nick asked getting up from his chair.

Kim slumpt down onto the bed and rested her head in her hands.

Nick immediately went to her side,
“Baby’s what’s happened?” his voice was filled with concern.

“I think I’ve got Ash in trouble and I feel super shitty for it.” She answered as she lifted her head to look at Nick.

Nick moved to sit beside her.
“Why would you think that?”

Kim paused for a second.
“Well he just phoned and said he’s been summoned to a meeting as soon as he gets to Manchester and I have to go with him and I just have this horrible feeling that it’s because of me and you.”

Nick placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head so he could look into her eyes.

“What are you like?”

Kim look back at him puzzled.

“No one will be getting into trouble because of us, do you not think that if this were a problem I’d be made aware of it and have said something.”
Nick began to smirk.

Kim’s eyes narrowed as she stared back at him. Something’s up she thought to herself.

“Are you sure?” She finally asked.

“Yep.” Nick began nodding his head.
“So don’t stress ok it’s probably just some kind of end of leg meeting so they know how you felt it went then they can fix any problems for the next part of the tour.”

A wave of relief came over Kim as she began to accept the possibility that Nick and Ash were right and she was freaking out over nothing. Nick lent in and kissed her on the head.

“Now are we gunna get some of these films I’ve found watched or what?” Nick laughed

“Yeah let’s do this.” Kim beamed as she leant back pretending to stretch out but grabbed a pillow from behind her and playfully hit Nick with it causing all hell to break lose as he retaliated and pillows began to be launched across the bed.

Chapter 19

By 8.50am Kim was on her way to Manchester, she hated that she’d had to leave Nick behind in London but the sooner that meeting was over the better, then she could get back to enjoying her time with him.
It took a good few hours to get to Manchester but her memories of the previous day kept her well entertained, she could not have asked for a better day with Nick they had spent the whole day locked away in their room hardly watching the films Nick had picked but just talking about their lives.
Nick was fascinated by the difference between his and Kim’s way of life, although Nick’s life had been pretty well documented Kim loved hearing all the unknown things about him like how he spent his days off and all his childhood memories and the hot make out sessions in between made it all even sweeter.


As the train finally pulled into the station, Kim could see Ash waiting for her on the platform she quickly gathered up all her belongings and headed for him.

“Hello stranger.” Ash greeted her with a huge happy smile.

Kim gave Ash a hug. “So anymore ideas on what this is all about?” she immediately asked.

Ash shrugged his shoulders as he took her bag off her to carry and turned towards the exit.

“I dunno Kim but like I said it can’t be bad else they would have insisted on seeing us sooner.”

“Yeah I guess you’re right, what time we gotta be there?” she continued to be uneasy about the situation.

“2pm” Ash sighed.
“I was gunna head straight there and maybe grab a coffee while we wait?”

“Oh yeah coffee sounds good.” Kim smirked.

“So how was London?” Ash tried to change the subject although he didn’t particularly want to talk about Nick.

“Amazing.” Kim beamed
“Although I didn’t really do much just hung out really.” She shrugged knowing full well Ash wouldn’t want ALL the details.

After a short ride they reached the arena, Kim was surprised by how happy she was to see the row of black buses again. She was really going to miss life on the road and even though Nick had made it even more interesting for her she loved the job and the travel and the people, she knew she was defiantly doing the right thing with her life now.
As Kim reached her bus she was greeted by an array of happy faces and welcomes by the guys. Leaning up the bus she lit a cigarette and caught up with everyone although it had only been two days since she saw them all she realised she’d missed them deeply and easily got back into to being around them.

Ash interrupted a few minutes later looking rather dapper in his light coloured jeans and red checked shirt,
Kim let out a whistle causing him to blush.

“I didn’t realise I had to dress up.” Kim teased him.

“You look good in whatever you wear.” He winked back.
“Come on then we better head on over to the meeting room.”

Kim sighed as she pushed herself off the bus and followed Ash over to the arena.

The pair walked in silence to the meeting room as they got closer Kim could see three men dressed in snappy suits sitting behind a long desk.
Ash lead the way to the open door and lightly knocked on the wooden doorframe. All three men stood up and a short man with light coloured hair beckoned for them both to enter.
Ash and Kim entered and sat in the two chairs positioned the other side of the desk.

“Hello and welcome to you both.” The man said.
“I’m Matt, this is James and on the end is Josh.” The man signalled down the line.

Kim felt her mouth dry up as she fidgeted in her seat.

“Now I can see you both look a little uneasy so let me just say there is no need to be your not in trouble.”

Everyone in the room let out a fake laugh. The man sitting in the middle shuffled forward in his chair and adjusted his glasses as his peered over the rim.

“Basically we just want some feedback on how you think the technical side of the tour has gone, you know, if there was anything you needed that you couldn’t get, what worked well or not so well. OK?”

His gaze then turned to Kim.
“Miss we’d like to know how you got on as well, just what you liked and how you found working with the others, if you were accommodated well.”

All three men then smiled at Kim making her feel extremely uncomfortable.
Ash’s face screwed up as he repositioned himself in his seat.

“Excuse me, can I just ask what this is really all about? In all the shows I’ve worked on so far I’ve never had to go through one of these so called meetings.” His voice shook slightly as he spoke.

“There’s nothing to worry about Mr Smith this is purely market research for ourselves so we know where we can improve for the future.” Josh grinned from the end of the table, but Ash wasn’t buying it he knew there was something else underneath but he politely nodded back.

“Ok let’s get on with it.” Matt spoke up.
“Firstly we’ll just have a general chat together whilst we get you to fill in these questionnaires then if we could speak to Kim for a few moments then you after Ash, is everyone OK with that?”

Kim looked to Ash for reassurance that it would be Ok but he was too busy eye balling the three men in front of him. Kim could see he was trying to work them out and suss their hidden agenda.

After what felt like a lifetime Ash was then asked to wait outside whilst they spoke to Kim. She nervously fidgeted around as she watched Ash leave.
The three men fired several questions at her but just like they said it was all work related asking how she found working in a male dominated environment, was she ever uneasy, did she think any improvements could be made to make her feel more comfortable.
Although she held back everything that has happened with Andy she answered truthfully and explained that she’d never felt more at home. It wasn’t long before she was asked to wait outside whilst they talked to Ash, it felt like he had been in there forever as she nervously sat opposite the room every now and then she could see them all laughing inside the room through a gap in the blind.
This made her feel a little more at ease,
if their laughing then Ash can’t be getting into trouble. She thought to herself.

The time seemed to move so slowly as she sat their waiting for it all to be over, suddenly she jumped as the door opened pulling her out of her daydream.

“Kim”

She looked up to see Ash in front of her, she tried to read his face but it was expressionless.

“Yeah” she answered jumping to her feet dreading what bad news was about to arrive.
“What is it Ash? What’s the matter?” Her voice croaked

Ash took a deep breath as he stepped closer to Kim, he now towered over her.

“Take a seat we need to talk.”

“Just bloody tell me Ash, I don’t wanna friggin sit down.” Her voice was shaky with emotion even though she didn’t know what he was about to say she had convinced herself it would be bad and her eyes began to water.

Ash took her hand,
“Well they only bloody want us to come back and work on the rest of the bloody tour.” He screeched.

Kim’s eyes grew wide as she began to take in what Ash had just said.

“OH MY GOD, What?” She stuttered

“I know it’s freakin crazy right? They want me to carry on and manage the Asia leg and the US leg of the tour with you as my assistant.”

“SHUT UP!” was all Kim could sentence together.

Ash burst out laughing.
“How cool is this, apparently we’d done such a good job on this it had been noticed and we’d been recommended to stay on. We’ll have to work with whole new teams but a jobs a job right.”

As the realisation that she would get to spend even more time with Nick dawned on her Kim let out a loud scream as she jumped up to Ash wrapping herself around him.
Although a little taken back he held onto her as tight as he could and smiled to himself.
Matt soon appeared at the door.

“I take it she has accepted the job then.” He chuckled.

Kim quickly let go of Ash and smoothed down her T-shirt as she smiled to Matt.

“Oh thank you so, so, so much. I can’t tell you how happy I am right now.” She beamed.

“Don’t worry about it, you were both highly recommended and that’s just what we need to keep things running smoothly.”

“Thanks again.” Ash grinned as he shook Matt’s hand again.

“Your very welcome, now get outta here and go celebrate you two.” He ordered.

Kim and Ash thanked them all again as they headed off towards the exit. As they reached the door they both jumped up and down with excitement like little kids.

“Can you believe that?” Ash puffed.

Kim shook her head then screamed again before throwing her arms around Ash.

“We so deserve a celebratory beer me thinks.” Ash chuckled.

“Oh yeah defo.” Kim smiled back as Ash carried her out of the building on his back doing a little conga dance.



Unbeknownst to Kim the Backstreet Boys had left London not long after her and had arrived at the arena, they had headed straight to their buses to keep out of sight from any fans.

Nick had stood at the end of the corridor and watched as Kim laughed and hugged Ash, he could feel a fire burn in the pit of his stomach as he watched Ash’s every response to Kim’s excitement and touch. All he wanted to do was go to Kim and share in her happiness, to be the one that she threw her arms around and to tell her that he made this happen, but his stubbornness kicked in and he allowed the image of Ash holding her to consume him as he took a deep breath and headed in the other direction.

Chapter 20

Nick lay in his bunk staring at the ceiling of the bus, feeling extremely sorry for himself. His phone buzzed and he slowly reached into his pocket to retrieve it, he looked down to see a message from Kim.

Hey baby, got some great news.

He managed to let out a small smile.

So I hear, congratulations. Looks like I get to keep you for longer. X

How did you know so quickly?

Like I’ve told you before, it’s not what you know it’s who you know. X

You did this?

Yeah, but I’m guessing it’s ok tho as you’ve accepted the job?x?x?x?

LOL OMG u r amazing xoxo

I know lol x

I going out to celebrate with Ash tonight, wish you were here and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow xoxo

Nick lay there silently and toyed with the idea of telling her he was only a bus away, maybe then she would not go out with Ash and she would stay with him. After a few minutes, he could not wait any longer so he replied.

Can you do me a favour I think I’ve left my watch on my bunk. Could you check for me I’m kinda worried I may have lost it? :)


Yeah K I’m just passing it now so I’ll pop in n check. x


Nick quickly adjusted himself and flattened his hair then pulled the curtain across as he lay there waiting and giggling to himself. A moment later, he heard the door swing open and footsteps scurrying across the deck. He held his breath trying not to laugh as the curtain whooshed back.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” Kim’s scream was piercing as the shock of her discovery hit home.

“You fucking ejit.” She continued to wail,
“You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack.”

“Surprise.” Nick cried through his heavy giggles.

Kim lashed out and playfully punched him in the arm but adrenaline caused the contact to be a lot firmer than anticipated.

“Ouch!” Nick began rubbing his sore arm.

“Well that’s what you get for tricking me.” Kim huffed.

“Awwwww, poor baby.” Nick pouted then began laughing again as the image of Kim’s shocked face came back to him.

“Don’t you poor baby me!” Kim tried to look cross but Nick’s infectious giggles began to take over her.

Nick grabbed a hold of the bottom of her T-shirt and pulled her down on top of him, a moment’s glance into each other’s eyes was all that was needed before their lips interlocked into a passionate kiss.

Nicks hands began to wonder wildly around Kim’s back as his tongue firmly snaked around hers.

Kim pulled away to catch a breath, “Mmmmmmmm I could do this forever.” She smiled.

Nick smiled back, his eyes twinkled as he looked lovingly into her eyes. He loved how every time he looked at her it felt like the first time he saw her and how every time they kissed electric sparks would fly through his body like it was the first time he kissed her but he also hated how 10 minutes apart would feel like an eternity.
He was dreading the end of this part of the tour and having to leave her behind, the only comfort he could take from it was that at least they would be reunited for the rest of the tour and if he worked hard on his solo projects when he got home time would hopefully fly by.
He continued to smile softly as he traced her jaw with the back of his hand.

“What you thinking about?” Kim questioned, her eyes narrowing.

Nick just shook his head and widened his beautiful smile.

“Some things up, your looking at me weirdly.” She continued.

“You calling me a weirdo?”

Nick gave Kim a warning look before he pushed her back down into the bed and proceeded to dig his fingers into her ribs causing her to scream out from the tickles.
The more she tried to break free the quicker he tickled until she couldn’t take no more and began to cry with laughter.
Laughing himself, he soon let up so she could catch her breath, kneeling over her he began to trace patterns on her now exposed stomach as she wiped the tears from her eyes still laughing.

Nick jumped as Kim’s pocket began to vibrate, she pulled out her phone to see Ash’s name flash up, Nick caught sight of the name and rolled his eyes at yet another unwanted interruption.

Kim answered the call as Nick slid half out of the bunk and began gently stroking and softly kissing Kim’s stomach, secretly hoping that she would quickly dismiss Ash for him but the more she laughed down the phone with Ash the more pissed Nick was becoming.
Nick’s nostrils flared and he gritted his teeth as he pushed himself off her and headed across the bus to get himself a drink, sensing the sudden change in Nicks temperament Kim quickly excused herself to Ash and went off to find him.

As she made it to the end of the bus she found Nick lent up the counter swigging from a bottle of Bud, her eyes narrowed as she tried to work out what had happened.

“Nick.” She softly said but he kept his eyes glued to the floor.

“Nick” she spoke a little louder as she took a step closer to him but still no response.

“NICK” she then shouted.

He looked out of the corner of his eye but still said nothing.

“Nicky what the fuck is the matter with ya?”

Sighing aloud he shook his head.
“Nothing I’m just being stupid, I guess I just don’t like sharing ya.”
He tried to make light of the situation but Kim knew this ran a lot deeper than he was letting on.

She walked up to him took his bottle off him and took a sip before placing it on the counter behind them then wrapped his arms around her waist, as she looked up into his deep blue eyes and saw they were watery.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have threw my toys outta the pram an stormed off like that, it’s not your fault I lo,” Nick stopped himself mid word.

“You what?” Kim pressed.

Nick hesitated for a second as his mind raced for a new ending to his sentence.
“I lose my head.” Then he kissed her forehead.

“What reasons do you have to lose your head though?” Kim asked confused.

Nick really didn’t want to give his answer but he knew there was no getting away from it now.

“It just kinda gets to me the way you and Ash are together, and before you say it, I know there’s nothing going on but I’ve seen the way he looks at you and the way he is around you.”

Kim shook her head in disbelief. “Seriously Nicky, your worried about Ash?”

“I’m not worried about HIM.” Nick suddenly became very defensive at Kim’s response.

“OK then I’m even more confused.” Kim shrugged her shoulders not knowing what to think.

“Just forget about it, I was being silly, it’s over now OK.” Nick tried desperately to shut the conversation down as he felt a little foolish for storming off.

“Fine but just for the record, you have absolutely nothing to be worried about OK I only have eyes for you.” She said with a wink and a smile.

“So what did ASH want?” his tone mimicked that of a stubborn child.

“Just said that he’d told the others about the job offer and they’d took it well and wanna celebrate with us but were just gunna have a few beers on the bus with em instead of all going into the town. Why don’t you come over now your here, you should ask the others too now were only staying in the car park?” Kim grinned.

Nick let out a loud laugh. “I don’t think everyone will fit comfortably in your bus.”

Kim stuck her tongue out. “There’s more than one bus here dumb ass, and most of the smokers will end up just sitting outside anyway.”

“OK, OK, well I was gunna ask you to come out for dinner with me and my guys but how about I pop over and see you when we get back?”

“Sorted.” Kim beamed finishing off the last of Nick’s drink.

Nick shook his head at her cheeky ways.
“So I gotta go in about half hour, what you wanna do till then?”

Kim bit her bottom lip and pretended she was thinking, a cheeky grin formed over her lips as she lead him over to the couch then pulled him down and firmly planted her lips on his.

“I like this plan” Nick said as he pulled away to reposition himself.

Kim took the opportunity to quickly remove his T shirt then began to kiss his neck moving slowly and seductively down his chest, hearing him groan made her smile to herself. She moved back up to his mouth sliding her hand back down his bare chest till she reach his waist band, she slipped one finger just inside it and slowly traced around it back and forth.
Nick groaned again so she took her cue and began to unfasten his belt then the buttons on his jeans to her surprise he’d gone commando and she could instantly see she was doing the right things for him.
He lifted his hips so she could easily slide the jeans off him then she returned to kissing his torso and softly stroking his inner thighs.
Now kneeling in front of him she began to kiss where she had been stroking, Nick swallowed hard as the build up of excitement was becoming too much for him. Kim continued to tease him by kissing stroking closely to where he wanted her the most, she could feel his breathing dramatically increase and quickly looked up to see both enjoyment and desperation in his face.
Nick then threw his head back into the couch and cried out with pleasure as he felt her moist lips finally around him. He knew this wasn’t going to last long every move she made was making him want to cum even harder. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on making it last but as her tongue softly glided over him it became too much, then the feel of her hand gently caressing his balls as her mouth slide up and down his shaft, he screamed out her name and exploded into her mouth.
Feeling all the blood rushing around his body he held onto the back of her head as she finished off.

Nick lay back on the sofa, body still shaking as Kim went off too quickly wash her mouth out. She came to find him still lying there with his hands over his face, she rested against the wall sipping from a bottle of Pepsi she found in the fridge.
Nick peeped through his fingers to see she had returned, he smiled widely as she began to pull himself together and get his jeans back on.

“That was.........” he finally said as he adjusted his jeans.

“I know.” Kim cheekily smiled back and fluttered her eyelashes in jest.

Nick walked over to her and now pinched her drink and began to swig from the bottle, he then put in on the side table and pressed himself up against her.

He desperately wanted to tell her he loved her at that moment but the fear of her not saying it back was a little over bearing for him so he held his tongue and went in for a kiss instead.

The was a light knock at the door then it opened and Howie quickly appeared causing Kim and Nick to jump.

“Hey you to.” Howie happily chirped.

“We must remember to keep that door locked.” Nick said under his breath causing Kim to laugh out loud.

“Hey D sup?” Nick quickly responded to Howie.

“Just got sent over to see if you were ready to go to dinner yet? You coming Kim?” Howie smiled.

“No not this time, I said I’d stay and have a few celebratory drinks with my fellow colleagues tonight.”
Kim grinned back at Howies infectious smile.

“Oh right yeah, hey congrats on the job extension. Your gunna love Japan it’s awesome really, you should come with me and Leigh to see the.”

“OK How, give me 15 mins n i’ll be ready go.” Nick began ushering Howie off the bus as he was still trying to tell Kim about places to visit.

“Ok I’m going.” Howie looked up to Nick finally getting the hint.

“See you later maybe.” Howie looked over to Kim and smiled before joking pulling a face to Nick.

“Bye Howie” Kim shouted after him as he made his way down the steps.

Nick made his way back over to Kim still laughing at Howie.

“I best get outta your way then so you can get ready.” Kim walked over to put her bottle in the bin but as she passed Nick he grabbed hold of her pulling her into him.

“You’ve only got 15 minutes to get ready.” She smiled.

Nick nodded his head “Yeah 5 minutes to shower and get changed and 10 minutes to kiss you some more.”

Kim felt her heart melt as she beamed up into his sparkling eyes.
“You think of everything don’t you?”

“Yeah.” He giggled back.

“OK Einstein, you go get ready and let me know when you get back if you want me to come get you otherwise just come straight over.”

“Yes Ma’am Nick saluted to Kim showing he understood his instructions.

“Alright cheeky, I’ll see you soon K.” Kim tip toed up to give Nick a goodbye kiss.

Chapter 21


The UK tour had gone by a lot faster than Kim had wished, Nick and the boys had been super busy working nearly every hour God had sent either doing the concert or TV and radio appearances plugging the new album.
They had just got back from a quick stop over in Germany for the European Music Awards and although Nick had begged and begged for Kim to go with him she declined wanting to use the free time to check in on her family.
The boys were back today and it was the penultimate show that evening.


Kim was up in the ceiling of the arena doing some maintenance on a few of the lights. She had her Ipod on and was humming away to a song when she was interrupted by loud screams, she looked over the safety rail to see the hall had filled with people and the boy’s were on stage she sat down and dangled her legs off the side of the platform as she watched the boys goofing around.
It was nice to see how happy Nick was when was playing with his fans jumping off stage and causing mayhem as Q tried to shield him from a stampede of over 100 girls. All of the boys were just as energetic and as funny as the first time Kim had saw them nearly 4 months ago.
After finally remembering she was meant to be working Kim quickly fixed the last light and made her way down to the floor but stopped in her tracks as she overheard a question one of the fans had asked.


“So Nick do you have a girlfriend yet, or are you still looking for that someone special?”

Kim held on tight to the ladder her heart pounding into her chest as she waited for Nicks answer.

‘Why is this bothering me so much?’ She asked herself.
‘Why do I feel like my heart will drop out of my chest if he says no?’

Kim breathed deeply as the silence seemed to last forever, then he finally spoke.

“Yeah I have someone special.”

Kim closed her eyes and didn’t even try to hide the huge smile that had formed on her face.
She made her way down the rest of the ladder and happily skipped out of the arena to take her break.


About half an hour later Kim was greeted by some familiar voices, she looked up from her box to see Nick, Brian, Howie, and AJ standing around her.

“Hey guys” Kim broadly smiled.

“Hey” They all sung together.

“Good day at work English?” AJ asked

“Not too bad, how’s yours going?”

“Well we’ve just heard some breaking news during sound check.” Brian joked.

“Oh yeah, what’s that then?”

Nick pushed Brian aside. “Ignore them.” He snapped.

Howie burst out laughing. “It appears that our Nicky has just broken a few hearts by finally confessing to the world he’s in looooooove!”

Nick shook his head feeling extremely embarrassed.
“I did not say I was in love.”

Kim looked over to Nick feeling a little hurt by his quickness to deny Howies comment.

“I didn’t say I loved you honest, I would say that.”

The more Nick tried to not make a big deal out of what he said, the bigger the hole he dug for himself and the more he sounded to Kim like he was embarrassed by their relationship.
Although she had fully heard what he had said inside the way he was now back tracking and trying to deny his feelings to her in front of his friends made her feel extremely foolish. Her eyes soon began to sting and she quickly jumped up from her box, pushing through the group to get away before her tears began to fall.

The boys stood there and watched as she ran towards the bus, Nick let out a very heavy sigh feeling like shit knowing that his words had caused her to feel bad, but he never meant for them to sound like they did and the more he tried to make things better the worse he sounded.

“You dick!” He turned to Howie trying to blame someone for his mistake.

“What did I do?” Howie looked around the group for back up.

“Nick chill out man, it’s not Howies fault.” Brian’s calming tones had no effect on Nick as he became even more pissed off with himself.

“Grrrr!” Nick pulled his hands threw his hair.

“Seriously Nick what did I do, I only said you love her, everyone can plainly see that you do so what’s the big deal?”

Nick spun around and glared at Howie.
“The big fuckin deal Howie, is that I’ve not even told her that yet.” He took a pause and dropped his eyes to the floor in shame.
“Now she’s gunna think I’m a dick, because I panicked and made it sound like I really don’t. I gotta go fix this.”

The group fell silent as they watched Nick storm off after Kim.

“Kim its Nick.” He called out as he knocked the door to her bus, but there was no answer.

“Kim I need to talk to you.” Knocking a little louder.

“Kim please open the door.” Still there was no response but he was fast losing patients.

“KIM I KNOW YOUR IN THERE I FRICKIN SAW YOU GO IN NOW OPEN THE DOOR!” He shouted through the open window.

“FINE!” He huffed. “BUT I’M NOT MOVING TILL YOU OPEN UP SO IF THE SHOW’S DELAYED THAT’S YOUR FAULT!”

There was a little rustle behind the door then it opened to reveal a red eyed Kim standing behind it.

Nick quickly made his way up the few steps and threw his arms around her.

“I’m sorry.” He practically pleaded.
“I honestly didn’t mean for my words to sound like they did, but I seemed to have misplaced the ladders I needed to get out of that big hole I was digging for myself.”

Another tear fell from Kim’s face as she looked up to Nick.

“It’s Ok.” Her breathing stammered.
“I’m not expecting you to shouting from the roof tops that you love me or anythin, but just now in front of your friends that made me feel a little worthless to you.”

Nick kissed the top of her head.
“Baby that couldn’t be further from how I feel about you, I’d never want you to feel worthless to me or anybody else in the world because you’re not.”

They both held onto each other tightly and in silence as Kim pulled herself together.
Again Nick wanted nothing more than to tell her how much he actually loved her, but he knew if he did it now she would think he was only saying to try and make her feel better.

Nick pulled away and stroked her cheek with his thumb.
“I have a little surprise for you after the show, so as soon as you finish there will be a car waiting for you outside OK?”

Kim looked up at him puzzled.

“Don’t ask me any questions cause you won’t be getting any answers, just get in the car.”

Kim nodded and smiled.

“You want me to stay with you a while?”

Kim shook her head.
“It’s ok I’m fine n I gotta get back to work else I’ll be sacked and won’t be able to come on the rest of the tour.”

Nick chuckled “Ok I don’t wanna get you sacked. I’ll see you tonight then?”

“Yeah I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Nick leant in and softly kissed her lips dying inside that he couldn’t say those three little words to her.


That night the show was amazing there were no major technical hic ups, however Brian did get a little over excited and forgot the words to All I have to give. Kim sat by the stage for the show ready to jump straight to work so she could get away quickly.
As soon as the boys finished her and Ash instantly began dismantling the staircase they used in the show it took quite a few of them to do it but they worked well together so it was done in no time. As Kim began wheeling the heavy trunks out to the buses Ash signalled to her that she could go straight after.
It had played on her mind all night what Nick had in store for her, she knew she wouldn’t be going to far as the last show was tomorrow but she decided to pack a little overnight bag with some essentials just in case.

Once outside she spotted the black car waiting for her at the end of the car park, she ran over and threw her bag in the back as she climbed in after it.

“Good evening Miss.” The elderly driver kindly said as she closed the door.

“Hello.” Kim smiled back.

“Good show tonight?” The man questioned trying to make small talk with Kim.

“Yep it was another good one.” Kim answered as she pulled her phone out her pocket to text Nick and let him know she was on her way.
“So where am I going?” she asked the driver.

The man laughed.
“I was warned you would be insistent on knowing where you were going but I’ve been told to tell you that.” He hesitated for a second.
“I can’t tell you.” He began to laugh.

Kim’s face scrunched up not impressed by the man’s answer.

“I will say this though; the young man’s gone to an awful lot of trouble for you this evening.” He glanced at Kim through his rear view mirror.

Kim smiled to herself and lent back in the seat watching the world go by through the window.

A short ride later the car pulled up outside a very old looking building with huge flags sticking out of the wall and huge golden double doors sat in the middle of the building.
A young man in a long coat opened the car door and assisted Kim out of the car.
She took a look around but it was too dark to see most of her surroundings, she was then lead up a few steps lined in red carpet and through the doors where she was then greeted by a pretty blonde lady who handed her a room key with the number 440 on it.

“The elevator to your right Miss, top floor.” The woman quietly spoke.

A little in shock Kim did as she was told, when the doors opened on the top floor Kim was expecting to see a long corridor like in most hotels but instead she was greeted by a set of huge double doors across the way from the elevator.
She stepped out thinking there must be some mistake but she checked the numbers and they matched. She hesitated for a few minutes as she stood outside the enormous white and gold doors in front of her, then breathed deeply as she popped the key card inside the handle and waited for the click.

Chapter 22

Kim peered around the huge white door the place was in darkness apart from a soft orange glow coming from the rear of the room, she headed towards it to find a huge bathroom filled with tea lights.
Looking in Kim could see a massive white bath standing alone with gold taps and gold feet, overflowing with bubbles she smiled to herself; feeling a little overwhelmed but was still not sure what was going on. She called out to Nick but all she got was silence until her phone buzzed. It was a message from Nick saying.

Enjoy your bath x

She shrugged her shoulders she was not going to fight it, it was just what she needed after lugging all that heavy equipment around. She dropped her bag by the doorway and headed towards the luxurious bath removing items of clothing as she moved.
She sighed loudly as she slid down into the warm water allowing the bubble to surround her, closing her eyes she heard soft music beginning to play, it was a song called, I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You. It was the Bon Jovi cover. Kim smiled as she sank further into the tub this was one of her most favourite songs.
As the song finished her phone buzzed, again it was Nick.

Do you need your back washed? X

Yes please. She text back with a cheeky grin.

Within a few minutes, Nick appeared at the door holding two glasses of champagne. Her eyes grew wide with disbelief as he made his way over to her and perched on the side of the bath handing her a glass.

“What’s all this in aid of?” She questioned.

Nick leant closer to her, “Just wanted our last night together to be special.” He smiled before kissing her softly on the forehead.

“Wow! is all I can say, this is unreal. Thank you.”

Nick flashed his famous smile at her and winked.
“It’s OK, you deserve it. Is the water warm enough for you?”

Kim closed her eyes and nodded. “This must have took you ages, you really didn’t have to go to all this trouble Nicky.”

Nick shook his head at her.

“Just shut up and enjoy OK!” He ordered her.

Kim let out a little giggle at him.

“You hungry?” Nick asked as he playfully scooped up some bubbles and blew then into Kim’s face.

“Starving.” Kim instantly replied.

“Good, I’ll go do a few last minute preps an you can finish up in hear then come through.” He nodded towards a set of double doors the other side of the bathroom.

“Ok, thanks again.” Kim finished off her drink as she watched Nick disappear through the doors.


About 30 minutes later Kim emerged from the bathroom, the doors had lead into the master bedroom. She could see a black shorts and vest PJ set laid out the bed ready for her with a long stemmed red rose on top of it. Kim dropped the towel and slid on the silky PJ’s, checking her reflection in the mirror she noticed another rose wedged through the door handles of another set of big white doors.

I guess I go through there then. She said to herself still grinning.

Removing the flower and opening the doors she found herself in a large open plan seating area with a fire crackling away in the background, the golden glows from it lit up a small table with two chairs, a tall candle in the centre of the table and another rose on the seat.
Smiling to herself Kim made her way over to the table and sat down. More music played faintly in the background sounding like All my life by Kci and Jojo, yet another favourite of Kim’s.
A few moments passed until Nick appeared pushing a large gold coloured serving trolley crammed full of various covered plates.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d want so I just got a few different things.” He smiled.
“You OK?” He asked as he sat down.

“Yes thank you, this is really amazing, I just can’t believe it, but you didn’t have to go to so much trouble Nicky.”

“For you it’s no trouble.”

Kim felt herself blush slightly, he was only being modest but this must have taken him ages to organise, and so much thought and detail had gone into it.

Nick removed a few plate covers, there was so much on offer, Kim helped herself to a pile of pasta and some chicken as Nick poured her another glass of champagne.

“OH MY GOD, this is soooo good, you gotta try some.” Kim said as she shoved a full fork in Nicks face.

Taking a bite, he began to nod his head as he chewed.
“Yeah that’s good.”


As they finished their food, conversation was minimal. Nick offered Kim a choice of deserts but she was to full so she just picked at some strawberries whilst Nick devoured a huge helping of chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream.

“Wow that was good.” He rubbed his stomach as he lent back into his chair.
“You all done?”

Kim nodded “Yeah that was amazing thank you.”

Nick leant on the table looking hard at Kim as he removed bits of cake from his teeth using his tongue.

“What’s the matter?” she asked

Nick paused for a while as he tried to carefully pick his words.
“Look I know you said No but I just gotta ask again, Will you please come back to the US with me?”

Kim sighed and leant in towards him.
“Nicky don’t do this, you know I can’t leave my family over Christmas especially whilst my Nan’s not very well. I need to be here with them, but it doesn’t mean I don’t wanna be there with you.”

“Well come out the week after then.” Nick pleaded.

“Nicky I can’t and anyway I have to go out a week before the tour starts anyway to meet the new crew and I can’t let Ash go out there on his own that wouldn’t be fair.”

Nick rolled his eyes at the sound of that name yet again.

“Nicky It’ll so go quickly, you’ve got lots of work to be getting on with any way, you don’t need me hanging around getting in your way and we can phone, text, email, video chat, tweet, I’ll even send you a hand written letter.” Kim smiled trying to ease the pain in his face.

Admitting defeat Nick reached out to hold Kim’s hand and managed a small smile even though inside his heart was bleeding.

“Oh wait there.” He said as he jumped up excitedly from the table.

A couple minutes later he re appeared from the bedroom, sitting down he handed Kim a package wrapped in gold coloured paper.

“What’s this?” Kim asked as she tried to hold back an over excited smile.

“Open it.” Nick casually instructed trying to pretend it wasn’t a big deal to him but inside he was about to burst.

Smiling she tore off the paper to revel a green velvet box about the size of the palm of her hand. She looked over to Nick who beckoned her to open the box.
Taking a deep breath she opened it to see a gold St Christopher pendant attached to a gold chain.

“It’s a St Christopher. It’s to keep you safe when I’m not around.” He proudly declared.

“It’s beautiful, thank you.” Kim grinned from ear to ear.

Nick moved around the table to kneel next to her, he flipped the pendant over to reveal a small inscription on the back of it.

To always trying and never regretting. NC

She looked down into his eyes as hers began to fill up.
“You remembered on the plane.” She let out a shaky laughed.

“I remember everything.” He replied a little bashfully.

Kim looked back to the necklace, smiled as she placed it on the table and pulled Nick close to her taking a moment to look into his eyes before gently placing her lips onto his.
Emotions soon began to get the better of them as they hung onto each other for dear life, Nick got to his feet then pulled Kim to hers before kissing her again this time lifting her up, as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist he carried her over to the bedroom not breaking from the kiss.
Once inside he kicked the door shut behind him and headed towards the enormous queen sized bed,

Kim briefly opened her eyes from the kiss but could not see much. The room was in darkness apart from some small scented candles dotted around the room, the flames flickered causing the soft glows to dance elegantly along the walls.
Nick sat down on the bed with Kim still wrapped around him never wanting to let go. She began to slowly and softly kiss around his neck, running her hands up into his hair as his hands explored around her back.
Briefly, breaking from the kisses Kim pulled Nicks T shirt up over his head and tossed it on the floor behind her, Nick quickly copied her actions and did the same with her vest, fully exposing the top half of her body.
Sliding his hand up to her head he gently tugged at her hair bobble untill it came lose allowing her long wavy hair to fall down her back, pushing a few stray strands over her shoulder he began to kiss her neck and chest as her hands caressed his back.

Holding onto her tightly with one strong arm Nick picked her up again then turned and made his way to the middle of the bed laying her on her back as he hovered over her.
He looked down into her eyes his body beginning to almost ache for her, to him she looked angelic as the soft glows from the candles gently illuminated her features. Not wanting to dwell on the pain he was enduring by having to leave her tomorrow, he began to kiss her again.


Kim lightly groaned as his soft kisses made their way from her lips down her neck, over her chest and carried on to her navel. Moving his body in between her legs he continued to kiss just above her waist band as a free hand moved tenderly up the inside of her thigh, leaving a trail of tingles as it finally reached the top. His finger slipped inside a gap between where her shorts met her leg and gently swept over her woman hood causing her to jolt slightly.
Kim bit down on her bottom lip as he soon removed her silky shorts and began to massage between her legs constantly teasing her before eventually allowing himself to taste her.
Every hair on her body stood up and every inch of her tingled as he gently flicked his tongue over her clitoris.

Taking a breath she pulled him up and began passionately kissing him again as she awkwardly removed his sweat pants, once free he lay over her again supporting himself so she didn’t have to take his full weight he took a moment to look into her deep chocolate brown eyes before yet another kiss.


His hand slid down her body to hold her waist, they both gasped as he lovingly pushed himself inside her. Kim arched her back as he began to slowly thrust causing him let to moan out with pleasure.
He gently caressed her breast as his pace began to quicken, holding on tightly Nick flipped over so Kim was now on top, she teased him slightly by building up momentum then slowing right down. Nick held onto her hips tightly but their bodies were like magnets drawing the other one back to it, using one arm he propped himself up as his lips met with her hard nipple she threw her head back and moaned out.

Wanting to be back in control Nick shifted again and placed her back down on the bed. Nick pushed deeper inside and began moving quickly, as much as Kim wanted this to last forever her throbbing body was telling her it would be much longer.

“OOH Nick.” Kim moaned a little too loudly.

The sounds of her pleasurable tones were adding to Nick’s excitement, he was trying his hardest to hold back but it was no use, he dropped his head down next to Kim’s and quietly whispered in her ear.

“I Love You.”

The words were the final straw for Kim, her whole body shook and she screamed out with satisfaction as they both climaxed together.

Nick’s sweaty body crashed down on Kim’s as they both fort to catch their breath. Each one was numb with pleasure, unable to move. Nick finally found the strength to roll off and collapsed in the bed next to her.
Still panting away they both turned heads to look at the other and let out a little giggle.
Nick stretched out his arm around Kim and pulled her into him to cuddle her. Not needing to say a word to each other they just lay there in each other’s embrace untill they finally fell asleep in the other’s arms.

Chapter 23


Kim awoke the next morning to a very loud buzzing from her alarm, as she rubbed her sleepy eyes she felt Nick beginning to stir next to her. He instantly shuffled closer and wrapped his heavy arms around her as she snuggled into him.

“Good Morning.” He croaked.

Kim smiled as she pressed her dry lips against his chest.

Nick sighed heavily as sadness swept over him, remembering he had less than 24 hours left with Kim he held her a little tighter.

“I guess we should hurry up and get on our way else we’ll be late for work.” Kim softly whispered to Nick.

Looking at each other, they could see the pain building in the other’s eyes, trying her hardest to be strong Kim took a deep breath as she forced herself to break from Nicks embrace and reluctantly roll out of the bed.

“I’m just gunna take a quick shower, its gunna be a pretty hectic day.” Kim managed to smile as she headed towards the bathroom.

As the door closed behind her Nick threw his hands over his face and continued to lay there in silence as he tried to compose himself.


Kim stepped into the shower and emerged herself in the rain of steamy water, breathing increasingly heavily she felt her eyes begin to sting. The sorrow quickly turned to rage, she hated how they had become so close, so quickly and now it’s was all going to be taken away from them.
Her heart was telling her that it was ok they would be reunited soon enough but her head was telling her a long break like this after such a short time together would most likely push them straight back to square one.

“HUHHH” she shouted out as her fist uncontrollably flew out to the side of her and sharply made contact with the tiled wall.

“Ouch!” She muttered before beginning to laugh at herself for her foolish little tantrum.

There she made a promise to herself. To fully enjoy every minute of this last day together, even though they were both going to be super busy the day was too short to spend it wallowing in self-pity, she would make the most of what she had and be grateful for it.

Turning the shower off she heard a light tapping at the door, she grabbed a towel and carefully stepped out making her way to the door.
Opening it, she was greeted by Nick who was looking a little worried.

“What’s up?” She asked smiling.

“You OK? I heard a bang.” Nicks eyes scanned her checking she was fine.

“Yeah I just slipped and knocked the wall but its OK I’m fine.”

Nick took a step closer to her moving a wet strand of hair from her face, as his face moved closer to hers he parted his lips slightly.
Kim moved her head back and threw her hand up to her mouth.
Nick looked at her a little hurt by her obvious pass on his advances but she began to laugh.

“Sorry, I’ve not brushed my teeth yet.” She said with her hand still over her face.

Nick cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Morning breath!” She quickly explained.

“I don’t mind.” Nick moved closer again.

“Well I do.” Kim winked as she quickly turned on her heels and headed towards the sink leaving Nick to fall forward slightly.

Nick followed her over to the sink and mimicked her every move as they brushed their teeth together. As soon as they finished he placed his hands on her waist pulling her into him.

“Now no excuses.” He smiled as he lifted her chin with his finger and softly kissed her.

Kissing him back every feeling she just had suddenly vanished leaving her just stuck in that moment right then. She loved how he could make her feel like that, how nothing outside of their little bubble could get them, how all that mattered was just them two right then, right there.

Kim broke from the kiss as she felt her towel begin to slip; securing it back around herself she looked back up into Nick’s ocean blue eyes and widely smiled. Nick ran his finger along the top of where Kim’s towel met her chest.

“I think we got a few minutes to spare.” His eyes twinkled as he whispered down to Kim.

Kim chuckled. “Oh yeah Romeo”

Kim slowly walked her fingers up Nick’s bare chest and went up onto her tip toes, her lips seductively hovered over his. Feeling Nicks breathing rapidly increase Kim moved her lips round to his ear letting them softly glide over his cheek. As Nick let out a little gasp Kim wickedly smiled to herself in the knowledge, she had successfully turned him on.
Biting on her bottom lip she finally whispered into his ear.

“and I think you have just enough spare minutes to go and get yourself a shower and be down in the car ready to go.”
Kim tapped his chest and winked as she left him to watch her exit the bathroom. Nick rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth as he headed for a cold shower.


Before they knew it, it was already time to leave; Kim threw her bag over her shoulder and headed to the door as Nick performed a last sweep of the room making sure he had not left anything behind.

“Oh Nick.” Kim shouted from the doorway. “I’ve left my present on the table will you grab it for me please?”

“Yeah.” Nick shouted back as he ran to the other side of the room.

He found the velvet green box still on the table where Kim had left it the night before and quickly shoved it into his backpack.



Three hours later Nick and Kim pulled into the car park of the venue for the final show of the European tour, closely followed by the last of the buses. Although the journey had been quiet between the two of them, they were both grateful that they were just able to be next to each other. Kim let Nick catch up with some work he had to do for his new album so she did some reading, occasionally offering up some alternative words or suggestions to Nick when asked.

As the car parked by the back doors to the arena Kim and Nick continued to sit there in silence for a while.

“So what’s the plan for today then?” Kim finally asked.

“I guess its business as usual.” Nick did not make eye contact with Kim he knew as soon as he looked into her eyes he would lose control and his heart would begin to ache again.

“Business as usual.” Kim repeated.

Sensing the unhappy tone to Kim’s voice Nick forced himself to look over to her.

“I know we still got jobs to do Nicky and I promised myself I’d stay chipper about today but as the time is ticking away it’s getting harder and harder to not feel so sad.”

Nick stretched his hand out to hold Kim’s.
“I know and I feel it too, but unless you change your mind and agree to come back with me there’s not a lot we can do about it is there?”

Although Kim knew, Nick was right she did not like his response and pulled her hand away from his touch.

“What?” Nick snapped at her actions.

Kim shook her head. “Nothin, I just don’t wanna feel sad about today so let’s shake it off and get on with what we gotta do.”

Before Nick could answer Kim was making her way out of the car, he quickly followed her then met her by the boot of the car and helped lift her heavy bag out. Kim threw the bag over her shoulder and turned to walk off but Nick grabbed her arm stopping her.

“Kim” He sternly said.
“Please don’t make this harder than it is, you’re not the only one who’s hurting here so don’t push me away.”

Kim kept her eyes firmly glued to the floor until Nick’s feet became in her gaze.
He wrapped an arm around her neck and pulled her into him then gently kissed the top of her head.

“I meant what I said last night.” He whispered.

Kim lifted her head slightly revealing a puzzled look.
Looking down into her watery eyes Nick swallowed hard.
“I love you.”

A small tear slowly fell from Kim’s eye; Nick wiped it away using his thumb before kissing her gently.

Kim pulled away and smiled back at Nick. “Ok Mr fix it, your work here is done.”

Nick smiled broadly.

“So we best go and check in with everyone and get started on the day, I’ll meet you for my break just before sound check OK?” Kim quietly said.

Nick nodded. “OK sounds like a plan, text me or something if you get bored before then.”

“Will do, I’ll see you in a bit.” Kim gave Nick a quick peck on the lips before heading off to check in with Ash

“See ya later alligator.” Nick shouted after her.

“In a while crocodile.” She beamed back.


After getting her itinerary for the day and having a quick coffee and a catch up with Ash, Kim began her duties. Everything that could have gone wrong was going wrong with the equipment.

“It’s a bloody good job this is the last show.” Ash huffed as he began changing yet another fuse.

Kim checked her watch again as she switched another set of cables over.

“You got somewhere you need to be?” Ash joked.

Kim rolled her eyes. “I told Nick I’d meet him for my break before sound check but it doesn’t look like I’m going to be getting one at this rate.”

Another 20 minutes passed Kim and Ash’s patients with the equipment was fast disappearing.

“Gosh I really need a cigarette.” Kim shouted as she threw a broken set of wires over her shoulder.

“Will a coffee do for now?” a familiar voice said from behind Kim.

Instantly recognising it she smiled, and turned to look over the barriers on the platform she was working on.
Nick was standing below looking very pleased with himself as he showed off the large coffee containers he had brought with him.
Kim jumped down and squeezed Nick nearly causing him to spill the hot beverages.

“Oh you’re the best.” Kim kissed him on the cheek.

“Yeah a real fuckin, knight in shining armour.” Ash sarcastically muttered under his breath.

Nick faintly heard what Ash had said and glared up at him.

“Oh I’m sorry dude, I forgot about you I’m afraid I didn’t get you one.” Nick’s eyes narrowed as he fake smiled to Ash.

Ash jumped down from the platform.
“No worries BRO, I fancy an ice cold coke anyway.” Ash patted Nick on the back but it was a little harder than just a friendly tap.

Nick’s nostrils flared as he chewed on the inside of his mouth, trying his best not to cause a scene in front of Kim.

“Yeah NO WORRIES!” He snapped back.

Feeling the sudden surge of testosterone Kim intervened.

“So is it ok if I take my break now?” She turned to Ash.

“Yeah its cool, we’re done here anyway.” Ash threw his tool kit onto the platform then walked off leaving Kim and Nick behind.

Nick handed Kim her coffee then placed his free hand around her waist as they began to walk towards the exit.


The rain was beating down heavily outside, Nick and Kim sheltered in the doorway. Nick removed his jacket and placed it over Kim’s shoulders as she was only in jeans and a thin white T-shirt.

“So I gotta go as soon as the show ends tonight.” Nick said.

Kim nodded her head.

“Will you be able to wait backstage for me so I can say bye? I’ve literally gotta get off the stage and on a plane.” He sighed.

Kim nodded again. “Yeah of course I’ll be there.”

“Man this sucks I can’t believe I have to go so soon after the show.”

“I know baby, it’s so shit.” Kim spoke softly as she stretched her hand out to feel the rain.

“You’re getting my coat wet.” Nick joked.

“Oh well.” Kim joked before pushing Nick out into the pouring rain.

Nick screwed his face up as the rain pounded down even harder on him.
“Thanks.”

Kim laughed at him. Within seconds, Nick was soaked through.

“Oh you think it’s funny do you?” Nick wickedly smiled as he quickly moved towards Kim picking her up and sticking her in the middle of a huge puddle that had formed.

“Oh” she gasped as the cold water hit her skin.

“It’s not so funny now is it?” Nick laughed back at her.

Kim kicked the puddle so the water splashed up over Nick. His eyes widened with disbelief as the water hit him.

“Oh no you didn’t,” he laughed.

The pair then began chasing each other around the car park finding the biggest puddles they could to splash the other.
A loud whistle from across the car park interrupted their game. They looked over to see Brian standing in the doorway of one of the buses waving two towels at them.

“Come on now kids, come on in else you’ll both end up with pneumonia.” Brian hollered through the heavy rain.

Like a pair of naughty children, Nick and Kim both headed towards the authoritative figure sneaking in the occasional splash on the way.

Chapter 24


The show kicked off with a bang, there was an amazing atmosphere and the boys were giving a performance of a lifetime.
Kim sat at the side of the stage again her eyes were glued to Nick as he worked the crowd sending the girls crazy with his provocative moves.
Each time he glanced over to her, she felt her heart melt like it was the first time she had ever seen him. As the final song began, Kim jumped off the trunk she was sitting on and headed backstage to wait for Nick.

Resting her head against the wall all her memories from the past 4 months came flooding back. Everything from that first meeting when she thought he was a little weird, to the night in Germany where they danced in the moonlight then shared their first kiss in the hotel, all the way, up to how Nick had surprised her last night and they came together for the first time.
Every thought, feeling, encounter, touch and word swarmed Kim’s head like a plague of wasps buzzing around her. Her eyes began to fill up and she swallowed hard trying desperately to suppress all her feelings of sadness, the last thing she wanted was for Nick to come off the stage hyped up and her to bring him crashing down by crying.

The music finally ended and there was a loud rattling from the stairs as the boys came flying down them.
A huge crowd had gathered now and Kim could not see over them to find Nick, panic began to set in as she thought he would be whisked past her and she would not get to say her goodbyes. Suddenly Q appeared through the crowd, took hold of Kim’s hand and led her through to the dressing rooms at the back.

“He’ll be in, in a minute.” Q’s voice boomed.

“Thanks” Kim smiled back.

Q lent in and gave Kim a hug. “I guess I’ll be seeing ya in a few months then. Have a great Christmas and try not to miss us too much.”

Just then, the rest of the boys spilled into the room closely followed by their partners and the tour team. Everyone cued up to say his or her goodbyes to Kim and to wish her a Merry Christmas, as the room slowly emptied Kim finally saw Nick leaning up the wall waiting patiently to get to say his goodbye.
As soon as Kim saw him smile at her, she felt her eyes begin to sting again, Nick mad his way across the room and threw his arms around her. Kim closed her eyes and buried her face into his chest. There was a deafening silence as the two of them just stood there; holding each other, afraid to speak in case it broke them.
A wave of calm and serenity came over them and for a brief moment, everything was OK. Finally, Nick took a deep breath a spoke.

“God I’m gunna miss you so much.” He bit down on his lip trying to force back the tears.

Kim still could not speak she just looked up to Nick through her blurry eyes.
At the sight of her being upset, he instantly placed his lips on hers and kissed her with everything he had in him.

They were interrupted by a loud knock at the door. They both laughed as if it was almost expected.

“5 mins Nick” someone shouted through it.

It was no use; Kim could not hold it in any longer, the tears fell from her eyes one after the other.

“5 minutes? That’s not long enough, it’s not enough time.” She cried.

The pain in Nick’s heart was unbearable he felt his chest closing in as it pained him to breath.

“I know.” he whispered. “I know.” He softly stroked her cheek trying to comfort her.

“I knew this was gunna be hard but I really didn’t think it would be this hard.” Kim sobbed.

Nick could not say anything; he just held onto her and kept kissing the top of her head.

“Nicky it’s time.” The voice came back to the door again.

Nick shook his head. “Fuck.” He shouted. “I fucking hate this. I can’t just walk away and leave you this upset.”

Kim hugged him a little tighter.
“It’s Ok, come on we can do this Nicky we’ll be back together before we know it.” Kim tried to be brave for his sake.

Nick kissed her on the lips as he whispered.
“I love you.”

It suddenly dawned on Kim that this was now the third time Nick had said those words and she still had not said them back to him.

Nick pulled away as the voice behind the door returned this time a little more irate.

“Nicky come on we’re gunna miss the flight.”

“OK, OK I gotta go.” He said between kisses.
“I gunna miss you loads and I’ll call you as soon as I land OK, even if it means I have to wake you from your dreams of me.” He laughed.

“Ok.” Kim responded through her tears. “Have a safe journey, I’m missing you already.” She kissed him again.

Nick reluctantly let go of Kim and picked his bag up, he turned to go to the door but spun back round to take a final kiss before his departure.

“Ok I’ll see you soon then baby.” He turned and headed for the door as strong as he had tried to be, a single tear fell from his eye as he walked through it.

Kim took a deep breath and ran to the door she watched him walk to the end of the long corridor and shouted after him.

“I LOVE YOU TO.”

Nick turned around a huge smile spread across his face and he blew her a kiss before disappearing through the fire exit.

Kim took a deep breath and composed herself knowing she still had work to do. She slowly headed back into the main arena, dragging her feet as she walked.

The arena was now completely deserted, wiping her eyes she called out to Ash but there was no answer so she began to dismantle some wires while she waited for his return.



*********************************************************************************************************

As Nick reached the car, his heart was heavy with sadness. AJ appeared behind him and placed an arm around his shoulder.

“It’ll be OK bro; you’ll be back together before you can say Backstreet Back.”

“Alright” Brian chipped in from the backseat of the minivan causing Nick to smile.

As he opened up his backpack to get his iPod out Nick saw the green velvet box sitting on top of his stuff.

“Oh crap.” He mumbled feeling his heart sink even lower.

“Sup?” AJ asked.

“I forgot to give Kim back her present.” He paused for a moment, just staring at the box.
“Can I have 5 minutes just to run it back to her?” He said turning to Jenn and pouting.

Jenn looked down at her watch.

“Please Jenn, it’s important.” Nick begged.

Jenn sighed. “OK but hurry up and you got 3 minutes.” She shouted after him.


*********************************************************************************************************


Ash still had not arrived back into the arena so Kim had started dismantling the speakers. It was so quiet inside the arena Kim had not even noticed the tall figure standing in the shadows behind her. She pulled her IPod out of her pocket and popped the headphones into her ears as she pressed the play button.
Kim hummed away to the music as she tried to concentrate on her work instead of Nick but Here Without You by 3 doors down came on causing her to fill up again.
A cable had become tangled in the speaker so Kim leant back to find her tool bag but instead found a pair of feet standing behind her causing her to jump. She got to her feet and looked up to see the feet belonged to Andy, instantly she felt uncomfortable, so she took a step back but as she did he followed her.

“Can I help you?” her voice shakily asked as she pulled the earphones out of her ears.

Andy’s nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed into those little black dots. Kim cleared her throat.

“Well do you want something?” Kim tried to read his face but she got nothing but coldness from him.

Seeing she was getting nowhere she tried to step past him but he moved into her way, again taking yet another step closer to her.

“What the fuck Andy, I can’t be arsed with your bullshit so fuck off. It’s really not the best time for you to continue to be a dick!” Kim growled at him.

Andy took another step to Kim causing her to become backed up against the wall.

“A dick? I’ll show you what a fuckin dick is.” He hissed.

There was an almighty smack, which echoed through the quiet arena as Andy’s hand made contact with the side of Kim’s face. Her hand instantly went up to hold her stinging cheek but Andy knocked it down as he grabbed hold of her face digging his fingers into her cheeks.

“You just don’t get it do you?” his voice was deep and gritty.

Kim could not speak as her mouth was squashed by Andy’s hand but the fear in her eyes told Andy everything he wanted to know.

“You just fucking appear here, taking up some other hard working man’s place. You lead poor Ash on to get a fuckin job here, then you fuck him off when that backside boy shows you a little fucking interest and now he’s gone and your calling out for Ash again. Fucking slut!”

Andy laughed a little but it freaked Kim out even more at how menacing it sounding.

“You know some people have worked this job for nearly 20 years, your here 20 minutes and you get a fucking extension on your job. What the fuck, it just don’t add up sweet heart maybe I should have sucked Nicks dick then I would have got a nice job out of it. Huh?”

He slapped her face again this time the ring he wore caught her just above the eyebrow and cut it, she cried out from the pain but this infuriated Andy even more so he lashed out again.
Kim fell to the floor, afraid to move she lay there listening to Andy spewing venom about how hard done by he was and how worthless she was.
The blood from her cut seeped down into her eye, she did not know if she was imagining it but she thought she heard voices across the room. Andy however was too far into his hate campaign to notice that Ash and John had arrived just in time to stop him from laying into Kim again.

Ash instantly darted up onto the stage as soon as he saw Kim on the floor and threw Andy a right hook causing him to stagger backwards into some speakers. Ash instantly jumped over them and began to lay into Andy, each punch clouded by the vision on Kim lying helplessly on the floor.
John soon intervened pulling Ash off telling him to go and see to Kim.
The noise had caused the other crew members from outside to run in to see what was happening, John shouted at them to help him restrain Andy and get him out, as he was dragged outside he continued to curse Kim with all he had left in him.

Ash’s face was blood red with anger; he knelt down beside Kim and gently put his hand on her shoulder.

“It’s OK.” He whispered.
“He’s gone now, for good.”

Kim lifted her head to look at Ash her eyes were stinging from the tears and she could not see properly from the steady trickle of blood that had gone into her eye.

Ash gasped as he saw her face for the first time. Her cheek was bright red from where Andy had hit her and the side of her eye had already started to bruise.

“What the fuck was that about Kim?” Ash shook his head as he placed his hand over his mouth.

Kim cried as she gently felt the side of her swollen face and winced from the pain. Ash shook his head again not knowing what to think but just grateful he had gotten to her in time.
Ash tried to help her to her feet but she was to shook up so he just sat down next to her trying not to cry himself as what had just happened slowly began to dawn on him.
Kim's sobs became heavy again so Ash put his arms around her, pulling her into a safe embrace and held her tightly.

“Sssshhhh, sssshhhh.” Ash gently rocked Kim as she buried her head into his neck.

Ash knew nothing he could do or say what make her feel any better at this time, all he could do was stay with her and try to make her feel safe again.


*********************************************************************************************************


Nick paced down the never-ending corridor, his smile getting bigger and bigger, picking up speed as he finally came closer to the stage entrance. Bursting through the back door, he came to a halt as he reached the end of the stage only to find Kim sitting in Ash’s arms.
Her head was snuggled into his chest as Ash softly kissed the top of her head and stroked her back. Nick’s smile soon faded, his arms dropped to his side and he felt his heart plummet to the bottom of his stomach as he stared on at the woman he loved sitting cosily in the arms of another man only minutes after they had said their goodbyes.
Nick felt his eyes sting like never before and his dry throat made him unable to speak, he swallowed hard and slowly placed a hand over his mouth.
A wave of sickness came over him, he could not bare it any more the pain he felt was cutting into him like a dagger. Fighting for breath, Nick couldn’t look on any longer he needed air so he dropped his head and darted out of the main arena.
The corridor seemed even longer on the way back to the car, not even attempting to make any sense of why Kim would do this to him the vision of her and Ash stuck strong in his head. The pain soon turn into disbelief then rage, not saying a word to anyone as he entered the car he slammed the door shut behind him and buried his head in his jacket as it sped off to the airport.


*********************************************************************************************************

Chapter 25



Kim stood staring at the floor not even acknowledging her dad’s touch as he guided her into the house.

“Thank God we can now put this all behind us.” Kim’s mom softly spoke as she threw her keys on the side table.

Kim still focused solely on the floor. Ever since the attack she had become half the woman she used to be, she could not eat, could not sleep and very rarely left the safety of her bedroom.

“I’ll put the kettle on then.” Kim’s dad said, as he looked helpless at his daughter. His heart bled, knowing there was nothing he could do to help make his little girl feel better again.

“Kimmy go on up and get changed and I’ll bring your tea up to you. OK?” Kim’s mom tried to prompt a movement from her.

Like a robot, she followed her mother’s instructions and turned to make her way up the stairs leaving her parents looking on as her mom quietly shed a tear.

Once in her room Kim quietly traded her black suit for her comfortable PJ’s, she caught sight of herself in the mirror, hardly recognising the woman looking back at her she continued to stare.
Every spark and twinkle had just disappeared from her. She had become very numb inside, not feeling anything or even wanting to feel anything anymore. Her greasy hair was scraped back into a tight ponytail causing her almost skeleton like features to be magnified, her complexion was pasty and her eyes were always bloodshot from the lack of sleep. Yet she still felt nothing, like an empty vessel she had no desire to continue.

Her gaze was pulled away from the mirror by the sound of the phone ringing; it was quickly answered by the sound of her mother’s voice. Although she did not care, she still listened on to one side of the conversation.

“Yeah we’re not long in. The bastard got 3 years although knowing our justice system he’ll be out in 18 months.”

Kim could just about make out what her mom was saying then threw herself onto her bed as she realised the conversation was about Andy.

They had been to court this morning for Andy’s sentencing.
It turned out that Andy was no stranger to taking out his rage on women a few other women had come forward in the past about him attacking them but the police did not have enough evidence to convict him, but now thanks to Kim and Ash they were able to put him away.

Ash had been a great support to Kim since the end of the tour, he had popped round to see her every day even though he was lucky if he got two words out her, but he being there was actually helping Kim more than she realised.
Ash had gone to court with Kim and held her hand throughout the whole hearing, even though she had zoned out he never left her side throughout it all.

Every day since the attack was just a blur to Kim. The only vivid thing she could remember was her goodbye to Nick.



The days had quickly turned into months and Kim still had received no contact from Nick.
Throughout the whole ordeal, all she needed was to hear his voice, which she knew, would instantly pull her out of this slump, but the fact he had ignored and not responded to any of her calls or emails made her fall into an even deeper state of depression. Never before had so many friends and family surrounded her, showing all the love and support they could, yet she felt so alone.

Kim sat up on the bed she took her phone off the side table, as she expected there was still no calls from Nick.
She let out a heavy sigh then pulled her laptop towards her; she needed to try him again.
Once the computer had loaded up, she opened several windows and began logging onto an array of different sites in the hope he would see at least one of her messages and finally get back to her. She had reached the point now where she did not even care why he had not contacted her she just needed to hear from him.

After sending her last email Kim sunk back into the bed, she hated how she could not feel anything anymore. She wanted to cry but there were no tears, she wanted to shout and scream but she had no rage, most of all she wanted to smile, but she had no comfort. It was a dark place she had entered in her life and having no emotions inside her should have scared her more than anything in the world. Closing the laptop Kim shuffled down into the bed and closed her eyes.


It didn’t take Kim long to nod off although she wasn’t asleep long before her bedroom door came crashing open startling her out of her nap.
Kim’s eye adjusted to see a blurry vision of Grace standing over her, before she knew it Grace had hooked her arms around Kim and was dragging her out of the bed.

“What the fuck are you doing Grace?” Kim hollered at her cousin.

Grace said nothing but continued to drag Kim out of the bedroom as she kicked and screamed.
For a small person Grace seemed to have super human strength now matter how hard she struggled Kim couldn’t break free from her hold.
Before she knew it, Kim was sitting on the cold shower floor as water from the shower head pelted down on her. Kim sat there panting trying to catch her breath from the initial shock of the cold water hitting her.

“What – the – fuck- Grace?” Kim repeated through deep breaths.

“I told you Kim, I told you I couldn’t help you mend another broken heart. Now you can hide behind this Andy bullshit as much as you want, but we both know it’s Nick that is making you feel and look like this. Now scrub up cuz you look like shit.”
With that Grace calmly left the bathroom leaving Kim to pull herself together.


An hour or so later Kim emerged from the bathroom looking fresh and feeling a little better. Swapping her damp towel for an oversized fluffy dressing gown, she began to make her way down stairs to face the music with Grace.

Walking into the kitchen, Kim found a sandwich and tall glass of orange juice placed on the table. Looking around the corner, she saw Grace putting some cups and plates away.

“Hey.” Kim softly said.

Grace turned around and smiled at the site of Kim looking a little more lifelike.

“Sit down and try to eat something please.” Grace nodded towards the plate.

“Where is everyone?” Kim asked as she took a seat.

“I told your ma n pa to go out n get some lunch. They need a break from you.” Grace eyed Kim waiting for a response but she got nothing. Instead, Kim just stared unwillingly at the cheese sandwich in front of her.

Grace sighed and shook her head; she made herself and Kim some strong coffees then headed over to the table and sat down beside her cousin.

“Kimmy, you gotta shake this babe; you go on wasting your life waiting for some dickhead to call you. If he has not done it by now, he is not going to do it at all sweetie and you need to face that and accept your both from such different worlds it was never gunna be a magical happy ending was it?

Kim looked up to Grace although she was not expecting that outburst she knew Grace was right. In fact she had known this from the start but was just scared to admit it to herself. She had wanted so much for it to be her who ended up with a fairytale happy ending but who was she kidding whenever did the scully maid end up with the handsome prince?

“OK.” Grace tapped the table with her fist.
“It’s enough now I’ve only got three weeks with you before you have to go back on the road. Even though I think that is the worst idea ever, but I know you’re faithful to Ash and wouldn’t wanna hurt his career. So tonight, you and me are going out for a few cocktails and maybe even a little dancing then I’m booking us a last minute week in sun away from everyone and everything. Then at least you can make Mr Carter jealous of your awesome suntan when you get hold of him to tell him what a fuck wit he is.”

For the first time in 2 months, Kim finally managed to smile. Grace was amazing at putting her in a better mood. It was just a shame she only just had back from some studying she had been sent to do over in America and was not here at the beginning when Kim could have done with her the most.

They heard the front door slam shut and a familiar voice shouted hello through the house. Kim smiled as Ash walked into sight.

“Hey you, it’s good to see you up and about. WOW and a smile to.” Ash joked.
“and what’s put you in such a good mood?”

Ash walked into the kitchen area and saw Grace sitting at the table.
“Ahhhh, might have known you’d have something to do with it.” He joked as he coolly leant against the wall.

Graced blushed a little, Kim had not noticed before but there was a definite spark between Ash and Grace.

Maybe a little matchmaking is just what I need. Kim thought to herself as she raised an eyebrow.

“So what you got planned for tonight Ash?” Kim quietly asked.

Ash shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing was just gunna see if you wanted to watch a film or something.”

“Well me and Grace was gunna go out for a few drinks, why don’t you come?”

“mmmmmm, I think I’ll pass on girls night out, you only talk about boys and periods, neither of which I’m interested in.” Ash screwed his face up.

“No we don’t.” Grace protested as she got up and put her cup in the sink.

“Look have a ring round n see if anyone else is up for it, we’ll just go down to the pub and have a few beers. It could be fun if there’s a few of us going.” Kim almost pleaded with Ash.

“Errr is my company not good enough for you? You wouldn’t get out of your bed an hour ago!” Grace scoffed.

Ignoring the comment Kim pouted to Ash.

“Alright I’ll see what I can do. What time about 7ish?” Ash asked.

Kim and Grace both looked at each other and echoed. “Six!”

“Alright, alright.” Ash rolled his eyes.

“You want a coffee?” Grace asked Ash.

“Yeah I’ll take a quick one before I go.” Ash mad his way around the table to sit down.

The three of them sat around the table chatting about old times, each being careful to steer clear of anything that could be related to Nick or Andy.
Kim’s mom and dad returned a few hours later allowing Grace and Ash to feel able to leave to go home and change for their evening at the pub.
Kim’s mom instantly began fussing around her causing her to retreat into her previous ways.

As Kim began to get ready, she thought to herself that maybe getting back out onto the road would be the best thing for her, although her mom was trying her best she was becoming more and more suffocating, and she would finally be able to get some closure on Nick.

Chapter 26

The following few weeks flew by, Kim was slowly returning to her old self.
The holiday she took with Grace had been a real turning point for Kim; it had allowed her to push Nick to the back of her mind. She had now accepted her fate with Nick and stopped chasing him, what they had was amazing, but it was obliviously not meant to be, so she decided to fix up and move on.


As she packed the last of her bags, her dad appeared in the doorway.

“Is that the last one?” His voice was heavy and husky.

“Yep, I don’t think I can pack anymore if I tried.” Kim smiled.

Her dad stepped further into the room then sat on the edge of the bed.

“Are you sure about this Kim? You don’t have to go you know Ash will understand.”

Kim smiled. “Its gunna be fine dad, I promise and beside everything else I feel I need to go so I can put it all behind me.”

“You’re a brave little solider you know and I’m very proud of you, not many people would be able to go back like you are.” Kim’s dad almost whispered.

Kim smiled at her father’s words.

“Although I gotta admit I kinda want you to stay just so I don’t have to deal with your mother’s constant worrying.” He joked.

Kim let out a little giggle and hugged her dad.

“OK then I’ll take the rest of your stuff down, you best come and have a cup of tea with your mom before you have to leave.”
Her dad picked her bag up and headed down stairs leaving Kim so scour the room with her eyes as if it was the last time she would be back there.



Downstairs Ash had arrived a little early to pick Kim up so he could spend a little time reassuring Kim’s mom that she would be safe this time.
Kim entered the kitchen to hear Ash repeating himself for the hundredth time.

"I promise, I promise, she will be safe, I will not take my eye's off her for even one minute OK."

They were not leaving for Tokyo until tomorrow evening but they had to travel down to London to catch their flight so they were leaving a day early to avoid a rush.
Kim sat down and began sipping her cup of tea, her mother instantly turned to her.

"Now you promise me you call every single day, don't worry about the cost we can sort it when you get home. Promise me Kim, non of this a call here or there or every other day after that." Desperation filled Kim's moms voice.

She looked over to see her dad leaning up the kitchen counter rolling his eyes, but still knowing it would be a losing battle to chip in.

Kim finished her drink as quickly as she could, the pain behind her mom’s eyes were becoming too much for her to watch anymore so she signalled to Ash that it was time to leave.

It took Kim a good half an hour to break free from her mother’s goodbye, she felt really bad for leaving them both to worry but she had to be selfish and leave otherwise she knew a heavy depression would set back in and she needed to feel free.
She said her final good byes and made her strict promises to keep in touch this time.

As soon as her and Ash hit the motorway Kim let out a huge sigh of relief, she was on her way now and even the impending doom of having to spend so much time in the air couldn’t knock her out of her happy mood.
Ash turned the radio up as loud as he could and the two of them sang their hearts out for most of the journey and joked about the pranks they could play on the new crewmembers.
The motorway was clear so the journey did not take as long as expected although Kim took over the driving halfway through as Ash kept getting cramp in his foot.
They pulled into the car park of a small hotel situated just behind the airport, it wasn’t much to look at compared to the last few Kim had stayed over in but they were only there for one night and they had paid a little extra for their direct flights knowing Kim struggled so much with being in the air.

It had taken them a little over 3 hours to arrive at the hotel and it was beginning to get dark now.

“How about we dump these bags then go get some dinner?” Ash enthusiastically asked as he tried frantically to shove his driving licence back into his wallet.

“Yeah sounds cool.” Kim answered even though she was not hungry.

Kim picked up her bag and followed Ash upstairs to their room. As he reached the door, Ash fumbled around to get the card in the lock then kicked the door open with his foot as it clicked open.
Kim followed him into the room, it was a basic room with two single beds, a small TV and coffee and Tea area and a tiny bathroom just off to the side of it.
Throwing her bag on the bed Kim headed over to the bathroom to wash her hands before they went down to the hotel’s restaurant for their dinner.

Downstairs was quiet not many people were about but Kim sat and watched as a steady stream of business men and holiday makers poured in through the main doors, then just as quickly disappeared up to their rooms.
The waiter was quick to arrive at their table to take their orders. Ash being as hungry as he was, ordered the biggest steak dinner he could, followed by a pint of larger, Kim followed suit with the larger but just ordered a small chicken salad to keep Ash off her back about not eating enough.
They both continued to people watch as they waited for their food, making up the most outrageous stories that they could think off as to where and why these people could be going to a different place. Some they decided where secret lovers off for a dirty weekend, others were on the run from the mafia and some where even aliens who had infiltrated the governments and were now posing as secret agents gathering evidence, ready to extract vengeance on the world.

The time pasted quickly in the restaurant, they had spent a long time in there just chatting away and enjoying a few too many beers. Before they knew it they had gone into the early hours of the morning, feeling quiet tired Ash decided to call it a night as there was no way he would be able to manage the long flight with a hangover. Kim quickly finished her drink and followed him over to the elevator.

They silently made their way up to the room but Kim knew Ash well enough to know when something was playing on his mind.

“Come on then, tell me what’s bothering you.” Kim sighed as the door opened.

Ash looked at her a little puzzled.

“I know when you’re thinking about something or plotting something. You can’t hide from me so spit it out.” Kim pressed.

Ash just shook his head; she was right though, he was troubled about something but was not sure of the reaction it would cause if he brought it up.
How could he tell her that he worried that after what she went through with Andy then Nick not contacting her, he feared as soon as she saw Nick she’d just forget everything and go running back to him only to let it happen again?
How could he tell her what a dick he thought Nick was for treating her that way?
How could he try to prepare her for how difficult this leg of the tour would be with those memories fresh in her mind?
How could he tell her how amazing he thought she was and how she deserved a man who truly knew how much she was worth?
He finally felt like he had the old Kim back and feared bringing up his concerns may cause her to back track.

Kim raised her eyebrow as she waited impatiently for Ash to confess.

“It’s nothing.” Ash lied.
“I guess I’m just tired and trying to prepare myself for the next leg of this insane tour.”

“I don’t buy it.” Kim eyed Ash again looking for clues.

Ash just shook his head “That’s all it is.”

Trying desperately to think of a way he could change the subject he did the only thing he knew how to do well and pushed her then ran off.

Kim laughed at his childish antics, she knew he was holding something back and one way or another she would get it out of him, but for now that extra beer she had was not sitting to well in her stomach so she needed to go sleep it off.


The next day they both woke early afternoon with hazy heads. They only had a few hours to kill before check in so they freshened up and got their stuff together ready to depart after they had tried to eat something to line their stomachs.

The airport was hectic when they arrived.

“Thank God we opted for a direct flight.” Ash said as he perched outside the airport and puffed away on a cigarette.

“I know its pandemonium. How’s your head now?”

“Not too bad that sausage egg and chips cleared it right up.” Ash joked.

Kim felt her stomach churn. “Ergh I dunno how you can eat that shit for breakfast.”

Ash laughed as he patted his satisfied stomach.
“Come on then chicken; let’s get you to Tokyo where you can finally get down to some hard work!”

Kim churned her face sarcastically as she followed him into the warm airport.

The flight over was straightforward other than a small amount of turbulence.
Ash watched on as Kim quickly sunk one alcoholic beverage after the other.
The alcohol soon made her tired so she shuffled down into her seat and quickly fell asleep.

She is obliviously not coping as well as I thought she was.
Ash thought to himself as he watched over her.


Ash spent most of the flight just watching over Kim, he tried hard to concentrate on whatever movies were playing, but he had a bad feeling about how the next few weeks would pan out once the Backstreet Boys arrived.
It played heavy on his heart that Kim would be swept back up in the ever-growing hurricane of devastation that was Nick Carter.

Chapter 27



After a somewhat reluctant start by Kim, she soon found the strength to push past her initial fears. Ash was great and seemed to understand just by looking at her what he needed to do so he kept her working close with himself.
The new team were amazing there was even another female member of the team who Kim instantly found a friend. The new crew made sure Kim and Ash felt right at home. They were hard workers, eager to get their jobs done and to such a high standard, Kim and Ash would sometimes feel like they were slacking off.

As always Ash had suggested and early set up so he could iron out any creases in the work or team, but to his surprise it took half the time he expected so everyone got to hang out and get to know each other better. The night before the boys were due to arrive the crew took Kim and Ash out for dinner and then to a karaoke bar to celebrate the start of the tour, it was the most fun Kim had, had in ages she couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard.


Kim awoke early the next morning as Ash had set out a full day of last minute checks before the first sound check started. She sat on the edge of her bunk, as the reality that she would soon be seeing Nick again began to sink in, a mix of emotions swarmed around her muddled head. It was not long before nerves soon got the better of her and she began to cry, she had tried so hard to push Nick to the back of her mind and accept the hand she had been dealt, but it was no use she was clearly not over him.
This realisation could not have come at a worse time, Nick could arrive at any time and she did not feel ready for that first encounter.
There was a loud knock at the door; Ash’s voice crept through it.

“Are you ready Kim?”

Wiping her face with the back of her hand, she took a deep breath.

“Yeah just give me 5 minutes k.”

“Yeah no probs I’ll go make us a coffee.”

Kim stood up and checked her reflection in the mirror; her eyes were red and puffy.

“Ergh, I need to fix up, I can’t walk around the place looking like this.” She quietly spoke to her reflection.


10 minutes later, she emerged from the sleeping area looking rather radiant in tight blue jeans and a fitted white T- shirt, she had tied her hair back in a messy bun, allowing stray strands of curls to fall loose and her makeup was subtle but brought out the deepness of her eyes. Ash handed her a coffee trying hard to hide the smile that had formed on his face.

“Cigarette?” He asked.

“Defiantly.” Kim beamed as she headed out of the bus with Ash closely following behind her like a little puppy.

It was pretty cold outside; Kim danced around for warmth as she tried to light her cigarette. Across the way, some of the crew had started a little game of football. Kim sat down on the bottom step of the bus to watch them hilariously trying to outdo each other with football tricks.
Ash hovered around Kim as he tried to find a good starting sentence in his head.

“What’s up lad?” Kim raised an eyebrow as she looked up to him.

“Huh?” Ash snapped out of his thoughts.

“You’re hovering around me like a crazy Nat, so what’s up?”

“It’s just, well I’m just a bit worried about you, that’s all.” Ash half smiled as he waited for Kim’s backlash.

“You’re worried? Why? Have a done something wrong? Am I not working hard enough?” Kim looked at Ash a little worried herself now.

Ash began to laugh. “No you nana, your work is fine, in fact your one of the best employee’s I’ve had. It’s just I was wondering if you have given any thought on what your gunna do or say when you see Nick?”

Kim shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno Ash, I guess I just stay outta his way and carry on with my job. I’m not here for Nick anyway; I’m here for a job I love to do and for you. Besides if I wasn’t good enough to talk to over the past few months when I needed him the most I guess I’m still not good enough now. So I’m afraid Nick Carter has missed this bus.”

“Do you think he got your message about what happened with Andy?” Ash instantly regretted asking the question.

Again, Kim shrugged as she inhaled deeply. “I dunno, I kinda hope he didn’t to be honest cuz if he did and still never responded then that makes him even more of a jerk than he already is.”

Ash gently rubbed the top of her head. “You’re a funny little thing.” He joked.
“Kim, if today or the next few days do get a little too much for you then please tell me and don’t hide from it. You can take some time off if you need to, I’ll cover for you.”

“Thanks Ash, I’m glad your with me and don’t worry OK, Nicks not my life so I won’t be wasting my time not living it just because of him.”

Kim stood up and stamped out what little was left of her cigarette.

“C’mon then lad we best get crackin, else we’ll be put to shame again by all these hard workers.”

Kim placed their cups inside the bus and grabbed her tool kit before heading over to the main arena with Ash for their morning briefing.


Ash’s briefing was pretty quick and straight forward he handed out everyone’s itineraries for the week and then sent them off to begin their day.

“Kim I just gotta make a few calls and get back to some emails, will you be ok to just over see till I get back? I won’t be long about an hour maybe.” Ash handed Kim a walkie-talkie.

Hesitantly Kim took the radio and nodded to Ash.

“If you need me radio through, ok.” Ash smiled, then headed back towards his make shift office on the bus.

Kim looked around the quiet arena she walked towards the stage, her eyes glued to the centre of it as flashbacks of that night with Andy vividly played out. She turned her head to look away as the pain became too much.

“You OK Kim?” A voice from behind startled her, she turned to see one of the crew members standing behind her.

“Yeah I’m fine thanks, just zoned out there for a sec.
You OK do you need anything?” Kim smiled back.

“I ran out of duct tape do you have any on you?” The man unconvincingly smiled back.

Kim fumbled around her tool belt untill she found a tiny roll of black tape.

“It’s all I’ve got on me at the minute but use this and I’ll run out to the truck and grab you some more ok”

“Thank you very much Kim.” The man gratefully smiled as he turned to head back to his station.
Kim took a last painful look at the stage, a faded memory of Nick danced around on it. Her eyes fell to the floor before she headed out of the arena to restock her tool belt.

Outside Kim lit another cigarette before mooching around in some boxes for fresh tape and screws and anything else she deemed fit to carry.

Making her way back across the huge car park, Kim saw the side gates begin to open then two enormous, jet-black minivans came speeding through.
Jogging over to a part of the building, which protruded out slightly Kim, hid behind it.
She knew exactly who was in the vans and her heart began to beat a million times per minute. Peeping around the corner, she saw Q jump out of the first van and head around to the side door to open it, as soon as it slid open Brian jumped out. Baylee and Leighanne quickly followed and Kim smiled to herself as she watched an over excited Baylee run rings around Brian.

Next AJ emerged with his trademark hat and sunglasses looking ever much the rock star. Kim laughed again; he was only person she knew that would still wear sunglasses in the freezing cold middle of winter and get away with it. AJ grabbed a bag out of the car threw it over his shoulder before lighting a cigarette, a very happy looking Rochelle then left the car to brave the cold and huddled up to AJ as they took in their new surroundings.
Leigh was the first person out of the second van holding on tightly to a sleeping baby James, Howie quickly followed and loaded himself up with several different sized bags before joining up with the rest of the group who had congregated in the middle of the car park.

Kim took in a deep breath as she waited for the final missing piece to appear from the car. Then within the blink of an eye there he was, looking as tall and handsome as ever, Kim gasped lightly, all feelings of sadness and disappointment suddenly left her all she could now feel was how much she had actually missed him.
Nick turned and flashed that heart melting before ducking down slightly to speak to someone who was still in the van.

Kim snapped back to reality as she quickly scanned the group to see whom he could be talking to, but she could not work it out. Jenn and the rest of the team were now all standing talking to the rest of the group.
Her eyes quickly darted back to the van to see a pair of long leather black boots appear attached to an even longer pair of legs. A tall woman with long glossy black hair finally appeared, she was nearly as tall as Nick and although Kim was a fair distance away, she thought the lady looked extremely pretty.

I wonder who she is? Kim quietly said to herself, still looking on intensely.

A moment later Kim’s question was answered, she watched in horror as Nick threw his arm around the mystery woman and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

Kim’s mouth dropped open in shock, her whole body froze as the woman snuggled into Nick and slide her hand inside his coat. Kim looked on like it was a bad accident she should not be looking at but was unable to tear her stare away.
As it finally hit home what she was looking upon her heart sink deep into the pit of her stomach, she slid round to the hidden side of the wall trying her best not to throw up. Her hands quickly went up to her face as the tears began to escape.

How can he do this? She asked herself.
How can he just switch off from me like that then move straight onto someone new?
What did I do that was so bad he felt the need to treat me like this?
Why the fuck didn’t I listen to everyone who said it was a bad idea?

Kim continued to quietly question everything about herself and what she thought she had with Nick.
The pain in her chest was becoming immense as she struggled to breath; she threw her head back into the wall as the tears flowed more freely.

It had started to rain heavily now and she instantly became wet through, but she did not move, she could not feel it, all she was aware of was the painful pieces of her shattered heart digging into her fragile soul.
She slid down the wall sobbing into her hands as her body shook from the shock and the cold. Kim stayed there for a while, totally unable to function untill she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her and pull her up, she looked through her misty eyes to see an outline of Ash, again he had come to her rescue.

He knew exactly why she was in the state she was in, he’d been over to greet Jenn and let her know how things had gone when he caught first sight of Nick and his new girlfriend and instantly gone to find Kim to try and prepare her for the shock, but he was obliviously to late.

Holding onto her as tightly as he could he lead her out of the rain and over to the shelter of their bus.

Chapter 28

Nick sat quietly staring out of the window of the moving van, watching the world whizzing past him. Everybody else was chatting away excitedly but Nick continued to let their conversations sail over his head.
He looked up to the sky, there was a dark cloud hanging over the city of Tokyo, pretty much like the one that had been sitting heavy over his heart since that last day of the tour.
Tokyo was one of Nick’s most favourite places to visit, rich with culture and not to mention some of the most craziest horror films he’d ever come across, so why did it feel like it was the last place on earth he wanted to be?

“You Ok baby?”

Nick snapped back to reality as the soothing tones of his new companion reached his ear.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine honey. Just getting ready in my mind, you know.” Nick smiled as he linked hands with his latest squeeze.

Nick’s eyes slowly left her gaze and retreated to the window, he began to replay the last few months repeatedly in his mind.


*********FLASHBACK*************


BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ BUZZ.


Nick opened a sticky eye to see his phone going off yet again, his dry lips cracked as he tried to open his even dryer mouth. Swinging his legs out of the bed, he sat up and winced at the pain in his head, this was becoming a regular occurrence for Nick as he spent most of his time shut away from the world, drowning his sorrows.
He stood up and entered the bathroom, letting the cold water run he rummaged around in the medicine cabinet looking for some kind of painkiller. Nick pulled out a box of Tylenol then found himself a glass and filled it with water.
Nick sighed as the phone began to buzz again, he gripped the basin tightly as he fort with himself not to scream out.
The noise soon subsided and he slowly let go of the sink.

Heading back into the bedroom he grabbed the cleanest T-shirt he could find from under the rubble of dirty clothes left in the corner, then made his way down stairs to fight another day.

As he reached the bottom step there was an almighty thud at the front door, Nick could see through the frosted glass in the doors the outline of a man that resembled AJ’s stature.
Nick rolled his eyes as he pondered the idea of just ignoring the door and going back up to bed.

BANG, BANG, BANG.

“I know you’re there Nicky, I can see your shadow on the stairs.” AJ hollered through the doors as he pressed his face up against the glass panels.

Nick exhaled a long breath as he reluctantly made his way to door knowing the best way to get rid of AJ would be to act as if he wanted to see him.

“Hey, s’up?” Nick tried his hardest to smile as he opened the door.

“What’s up?” AJ announced as he quickly barged past Nick to get in before being shut out.

“What’s up, the boy asks me what’s up?” AJ continued to mumble as he scanned the house looking for any clue as to what Nick had been up to over the past 3 weeks.

“Come on in.” Nick sighed as he began to shut the door.

AJ made his way into the kitchen area, his eyes still frantically scanning everywhere.

“So, you gunna tell me what the hell’s goin on Nick?” AJ pulled a half-empty carton of juice out of the fridge and began to pour himself a drink.

“Well?” AJ paused again and cocked an eyebrow to let Nick know he would not be giving up.

“Nicky no one has seen or heard from you in nearly three weeks, you look like shit, you smell like ass, and your house is a state, so talk to me bro.” AJ took a sip of juice but started again before Nick could even begin to gather an answer.
“Oh and don’t even get me started on Kim, why are you ignoring her? The poor girl is leaving message after message with Ro trying to get in contact with you, apparently she has something really important she needs to talk to you about, but she won’t tell us till she’s told you.”

Nick rolled his eyes and screwed his face up at the sound of her name.

She only wants to tell me it is over between us and that she is into Ash. Nick said to himself.

“Well? What are we meant to say to her? Do you even know why you are not talking to her? Nicky if you don’t want her the least you can do is let her know, it’s out of order if you’re just leaving her hangin cuz your to chicken shit to tell her the truth. Don’t forget you gotta see her again in a couple of months when we’re back on the road.”

Nick’s eyes fell to the floor, unable to look at AJ. The pain in his heart returned with a vengeance.

“Dude, talk to me. Tell me what is going on in your head. I’m worried about you; we’re all worried about you.”

“Nothing AJ, there’s nothing to tell and there’s nothing I wanna talk about OK, Sometimes in life things just don’t work out and you have to get on with it.” Nick coldly snapped.

AJ eyeballed Nick. “I know only too well how something’s just don’t work out, but Nicky your really not coping with whatever it is, so just let me help you.”

Nick shook his head, “Bro, this is not something I want us to fall out over but if you keep pushing me then were gunna, so just let it go. Please!”

Seeing Nick’s eye’s fill up, AJ agreed to back off.
“Ok bro I’ll back off, but you gotta show me that whatever it is that’s gone on, or going on between you two, you can handle it. So go get yourself a hot shower and fix up, then tell me that your gunna come out tonight with me and Ro.”

Nick looked over at AJ pulling an ‘I’m not impressed face’.

“I dunno man; I’m not feeling a night out in a club.” Nick moaned.

“Good cause we’re not going to a club, we’re going to a house party of a friend of Rochelle’s.” AJ beamed as if he had one over on Nick.

Nick nodded silently as to not get himself in any more situations he did not want to end up in.

“Sweet, me n Ro will be back about 8 to pick you up. Now are you sure I can’t help in any other way?”

Nick shook his head.

“What shall I say to Kim if she calls again?”

Nick’s eyes narrowed. “You say nothing, in fact you should just do what I did and block her number, and delete her email address and be done with it.”

“Jeez Nick, that’s fuckin harsh man. What did she do that was that bad?”

Shrugging his shoulders Nick stood up. “I’m going for that shower then, shut the door to on your way out.”

AJ watched in shock as a broken man, he never knew exited the kitchen and disappeared upstairs.



True to his word, later that evening AJ and Rochelle picked Nick up and headed off to the party.

“Hey Nick, how you feeling?” Rochelle beamed as Nick climbed into the back of their car.

“Fine.” Nick coldly answered.

He did not mean to be rude but he just did not want to be going out tonight, or any other night for that matter.

AJ turned his head and glared at Nick, letting him know he needed to snap out of his mood and quick.

The three sat quietly for the duration of the journey to the house party. They soon pulled up to a huge house situated up in the hills; Nick could instantly hear music blasting from the building and the screams of young girls having fun. His face screwed up again at the thought of how long he would have to sit out this ‘frat style party’.

Inside the house, Nick moved through each room, making sure he stayed close to AJ and Rochelle. He looked around, scoping out who was who, recognising a few faces and gave a slight nod of the head to acknowledge them. Nick stood behind AJ and Rochelle like a spare part as they indulged an influx of ‘so called’ friends.
Feeling out of his comfort zone Nick signalled to AJ he was going to get a drink and sulked off in search of the kitchen.

Nick walked from room to room instantly catching the attention of many of the girls there, very oblivious to any advance made he soon found the kitchen and grabbed himself a bottle of Bud from a box of ice on top of the counter. As he opened the bottle he looked around to see a large group of over easy girls had followed him, he made a quick exist out into the garden making sure he slid the door shut behind himself in the hope the girls would get the message and stay away.

It was a nice refreshing evening and the garden was quite empty in comparison to the mayhem of the house. Nick noticed a path heading down towards the rear end of the garden; it was beautifully illuminated by tiny lanterns so he decided to make his way down to see what lay at the end.
Plodding down the path, Nick soon came across seating area with huge oversized chairs and a large oval shaped sofa; he took a step closer and turned around to take in the breath taking view of the city below.
Nick sat down on the edge of a seat to gather his thoughts but was soon interrupted, the sound of rustling to the left of him which made him jump. Looking around he could just about make out the silhouette of a woman sitting alone on some steps just below him.

Nick cleared his throat, not wanting to startle the girl and cause a scene he softly spoke.
“Hey, I didn’t realise anyone else was out here.”

The young woman turned around and smiled. “Oh hey, me neither. I just needed a few minutes away from the madness, to clear my head. It’s been a tough week.”

Nick quietly chuckled. “Huh, yeah it’s been a tough few weeks.” He made he was towards the woman, and then sat down on the step next to her.

“I’m Nick, by the way.” Nick extended a hand out towards the girl.

“Nice to meet you Nick, I’m Lauren.” Giving Nicks hand a firm shake Lauren flashed a huge smile, which instantly made Nick smile back.


************END FLASHBACK************


As Nick came back to reality, he turned to look at Lauren sitting next to him. Her brilliant bluey, green eyes sparkled with excitement as everyone in the van spoke loudly over each other, telling her tales of past tours.

Although Nick had found a slight comfort from Laurens Company, it nagged him that something was missing between them. Sure she was smart, sweet, funny, caring, beautiful had an amazing body and would do absolutely anything for him, all the traits Nick liked and needed from a woman, but the chemistry between them just seemed to lack something.

As the car made its way even closer to the venue, dread and anticipation crippled Nick, now it was about to happen, the thought of seeing Kim again filled him with fear.

Maybe I have been a bit of a jerk about all this. He silently thought to himself.

Suddenly, wave guilt swept over him, it did not stay for long though as the vivid vision he had created in his head of Kim and Ash together slithered back to take its place at the front of his mind. Nick clenched his fist tightly and chewed on the inside of his mouth until he felt Lauren rest her head on his shoulder, then calm was restored inside him.

From Nick’s first meeting with Lauren, she seemed to instantly fit in with his life, and straight away became a permanent fixture in his world. Nick obviously had her there for all the wrong reasons but blinded by hate and jealousy over what he thought he saw between Kim and Ash. All the people around Nick had instantly liked Lauren, even more so that she seemed to be the only one who had been able to pull him out of his slump.
On the run up to this leg of the tour, many people had asked if Lauren would be coming with them. Nick was a little hesitant, he wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do, it kinda made their relationship seem a little more serious, but feeling the pressure from everyone Nick had asked her to accompany him on the tour.

As the sweet scent from her hair filled his nostrils, he began to feel he had made the right decision in keeping her around. He gently kissed the top of her head and rested his chin on her as he finally tuned into what was going on around him.

Chapter 29

Kim sat down in the bus, still shaking as Ash wrapped an oversized towel around her.

“Can I get you a drink?” Ash softly spoke as he hovered over her not really knowing what to do.

Kim stared on in disbelief and shock, still sobbing to herself.
Ash decided he was going to make a drink anyway regardless of if she really wanted it or not.
He flicked the kettle on, and then began preparing two cups as he waited for the kettle to boil. Ash leant over the counter top and inhaled deeply as the sound of Kim’s sobbing filled his head, he could feel the blood pumping around his body as anger consumed him.

Fuckin prick. Ash cursed to himself. I should just march straight over there and knock him out, and then I can take Kim home, far away from the fuckin loser.

The click of the boiled kettle drew Ash from his thoughts; he quickly finished making their drinks then went back over to Kim, squeezing in beside her he placed the cup down on the table.
The pair both sat there quietly for a few minutes as Ash mustered up the courage to speak.

“Look Kim I know this is like the worst thing that could have happened for you at the minute so if you don’t wanna stay I understand OK. I’ll get you outta here as soon as I can.”

Kim looked up to him with her blood shot eyes and shook her head.
“I wanna stay.” She quietly mumbled.

“Are you sure that’s the best thing to do Kim? You’ve been through an awful lot these past few months; I wouldn’t want this to break you.” Ash placed his arm around Kim and rubbed her shoulder.

Wiping her face with her sleeve, she sniffed and shook her head again.
“No, I wanna stay. I’ll be fine in a bit; it was just the initial shock. I can carry on Ash, I promise, please don’t send me back, it’ll drive me mad if I’m stuck at home.” Her face pleaded with Ash as fresh tears began to fall.

Ash pulled her in tight and hugged her with all his might. “I could kill him for this; I told you he was bad news.”

Not needing another ‘I told you so’ lecture Kim buried her head into Ash’s chest and kept quiet. Ash gently stroked Kim’s hair as the two sat there in silence listening to the heavy downpour outside.

Ash’s radio began to crackle, and then three different voices came through, one after the other wanting to know where he was.

“Ash I’ll be fine here, you need to get back to work though else your get yourself in trouble.” Kim whispered between sobs.

“I can’t just leave you here like this on your own.”

“I don’t need a babysitter Ash! I’m a big girl who made a silly mistake now I have to get on with it.” Kim instantly snapped.

Knowing she was in pain and angry ash let her outburst fly over his head. “OK, I’ll let you have some space then and I’ll be back to check in with ya as soon as I get a free minute.”

Kim nodded her head. “Kay, I’ll just take a shower and sort myself out then I’ll get back to work.”

Ash raised his eyebrows in disbelief at what he just heard. “Errr, I don’t think so Kim, speaking as your boss now, I’m telling you, you need to take the rest of the day off and if I catch you in there I’ll say you’re sick with some majorly contagious bug so you’ll be made by higher up than me to take the rest of the week off!”

Kim gave him a dirty look and barged past as she made her way down to the sleeping area, slamming the door shut behind her.

Ash took a deep breath and let it go. “Women!” He huffed as he sullenly grabbed a coat and left the bus.




“ERGH, MEN!” Kim screamed as she threw herself onto her bunk. She sat there in silence shivering as her damp clothes clung to her skin.

“Great, next thing I’ll end up with phenomena.” Kim screwed her face up, the pain in her broken heart was fast tuning into a venomous rage.

She shot up from the bed ready to go take a warm shower, as she did she caught sight of herself in the mirror. She looked like a drowned rat; hatred filled her eyes as she stared at the figure in the mirror.

“For fuck’s sake.” She loudly cursed, then turned away and stormed out of the sleeping area.



40minutes later she emerged from the steamy shower cupboard, her eyes were still blurry, as she had cried again. Her head was pounding from the tension of crying so much, reaching her room she sat on the bunk, she knew if she took a nap she would feel better but she was to restless to stay still, so she quickly dried herself off and pulled out some clean underwear, jeans and a top. Throwing her hair up into a messy bun and applying a little make up to hide the blemishes from all the crying, Kim decided she needed to get away for a couple of hours.
It wasn’t too far to get to the shops and Kim thought the walk would do her good so she grabbed her parker off the peg and got her purse, then disappeared off the bus and out onto the streets of Tokyo.




Ash wondered around the arena, not really taking in anything that was going on or what was being said, all he could think about was Kim sitting on the bus alone crying.
I should be there with her. He kept telling himself.

Ash plodded over to the sound desk and checked his watch; there was about 40 minutes until he had to back for sound check.

“Yoshi, everything OK here?” Ash shouted over the sound desk to a tall, young person.

“Yes, Ash, everything is fine, no problems.” Yoshi smiled back.

“Good, I’m just gunna pop back to the bus for a few minutes then. I’ll be back before sound check starts
OK?”

“Yes, Yes. You go. I’m fine, thank you.”

Ash smiled as he jumped down from the small platform. He ran through a set of exit doors and across the car park to Kim’s bus.

“Hey, how you doing?” Ash shouted down the bus as a gust of wind blew the door shut behind him.

The bus was in silence.

“Kim its Ash, you OK?” He shouted out again, but still no answer.

Maybe she’s asleep? He said to himself as he made his way to the other end of the bus. He gently pushed the bedroom door open but it was empty inside. Looking a little confused, he shouted out again.

“Kim its Ash where are ya?” still nothing.

Ash quickly looked around for some kind of clue as to where she could be, but nothing pointed him in the right direction.

“I swear, if she’s gone back over to work after I specifically told her not to, I’m gunna put her on a plane home myself.” Ash huffed as he jumped out of the bus and jogged back over to the arena.



Ash marched around it looking for her for a good 30 minutes, as he finished his fourth lap he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“You lost something?”

Ash turned to see a clean-shaven Justin.

“Dude, how are you?” Ash smiled as he and Justin playfully shook hands. “Good Christmas?” Ash asked.

“Yeah, yeah it was pretty epic, to be honest. How bout you?” Justin nodded his head in pleasure.

Ash’s face instantly curled up at the question. “To be fair, I’ve had better.”

“Really? What’s happened?” Justin asked concerned.

Not wanting to say too much, Ash tried to change the subject. “Ah you know, just one those ones. So you all set, glad to be back on the road?”

“I guess so, so what you looking for? I watched you pace this place for ages now.” Justin laughed.

“Oh, I can’t find Kim anywhere. She seems to have gone AWOL.”

“Oh wow, she came? We didn’t think she would.”

“What do you mean?” Ash quizzed. “Why would she not come?”

“Well cause her and Nick are over.” Justin paused. “She does know their over right? Cause he’s brought a new girlfriend with him.” Panic began to set in as Justin thought he had said too much.

Ash shook his head. “Yeah she def knows it’s over. Fuckin dick that boy is.”

“So what happened between them? I mean it must have been something really bad cause Nick was a mess for weeks, I’m talking proper heart ripped out his chest mess.” Justin animatedly explained to Ash.

“What?” Very confused Ash looked at Justin as if he had grown a second head.

“Yeah, seriously the boy was a wreck.”

Ash shook his head frantically as he interrupted Justin. “What?”

“So what happened between them?” Justin continued completely oblivious to Ash’s confusion.
“Nick won’t tell us anything, but like I said he was out of it man.”

“I don’t get why he was so ‘cut up’ it was his entire fault.” Ash blurted out.

Justin shook his head. “Woo it gets crazier man, someone must have done something bad. Kim really not told you anything?”

“Yeah, but.” Ash began to stutter as his head swirled.
“Look, I dunno man, if you do see Kim around tell her I need to speak with her, this is crazy. I gotta go sound check is due to start any minute.”

“Oh shit yeah sound check.” Justin laughed. “No probs bro, I’ll keep my peepers open for her. I gotta go too; girls will be sprouting hairs n stuff from waiting.”

Ash laughed as Justin skipped off to usher the crowds in.

Ash scratched his head as he tried to make sense of Justin’s words. As he made his way over to the sound desk he pulled his phone from his pocket and called Kim but it went straight to voice mail.


Ash spent the whole of sound check either texting or phoning Kim trying desperately to get hold of her, but it was no good. The sound check was very lively, the boys were on form whipping the crowd up into frenzy, each time ash heard Nick speak it made his blood boil, and he could not bring himself to look up at the stage yet, through fear any eye contact from Nick could send him over board.

As soon as sound check finished Ash left the building and ran back over to the bus desperately hoping that Kim would be in there.

Once on board he scanned the bus but there was still no sign of her, he was getting a little worried now and he could go running around the place causing a scene as it could get them both in trouble.

He left the bus to go for a cigarette and tried to rack his brains as to where she could be, and then his heart sank at the thought of her going off site on her own, in a huge city she never knew, anything could happen to her.
He threw his half, smoked cigarette on the floor and rushed off back into the arena to look for Yoshi.

“Yoshi, Yoshi.” Ash called out.

“Yes, I am here.” The faint sound of Yoshi’s voice came from behind the sound desk.

“Oh good, Yoshi, I need a favour. I think Kim has gone off into the city and I don’t know my way around to find her. Could you have a look around some places you know and see if you can find her please? I’m really worried she will get lost on her own.” Ash desperately pleaded with Yoshi.

“Yes, yes of course I will go and look, Ash. It is a very big place though but I will check the main tourist route for you.”

“Oh thank you Yoshi, it’ll mean a lot. Take Jun with you OK and I’ll cover you both.” Ash panted.

“Yes, we will go now. Do not worry Ash, we will find her.”

Ash sighed as he watched Yoshi rush off to get Jun and find Kim.




The time moved slowly as Ash waited for any news on Kim, he tried to keep busy but he felt sick to the stomach that she was out there alone and it was now dark.

I should never have left her. He told himself off repeatedly.

It was not long until the start of the show; Ash had no Kim and was down two technicians.

I guess I had better go tell someone I have three missing people on my hands. Ash sighed.

Just then, Yoshi appeared at the door looking flustered and out of breath.

“We came back for show, but we could not find Kim anywhere. We’re sorry Ash; we looked everywhere we could think of.”

Ash smiled gratefully. “Thanks guy’s, I really appreciate it. Look I’ll get you both started off then I’ll have to go and report her missing to someone.”

“We’re very sorry; we tried hard to find her.” Yoshi still panted.

“Don’t worry guy’s it’s not your fault, you done well to try and the main thing is you came back in time for work.”

Ash made sure the guy’s we’re ok with the job then headed out the back of the arena to go and report Kim missing.

As he plodded through the dark car park, he could see a figure staggering about in the distance.
He instantly ran over in the hope that it would be Kim and to his relief it was. He threw his arms around her and squeezed her as hard as he could.

“You fuckin bell end. Where the fuck have, you been? I’ve been worried fuckin sick about you, I was just about to call the police and report you missing.” Ash was almost crying with relief as he scolded Kim.

“Seriously Kim what the fuck are you trying to do to me? I swear I’ve gone grey over the last 6 hours.”

Totally oblivious to the trouble she could have caused or the worry she had put Ash through, Kim continued to sway about, telling Ash to ‘Ssssshhhhhh’

Ash took a step back. “Kim are you drunk?”

Kim began to giggle ‘Ssssshhhhhh’ she continued.

Ash closed his eyes this was truly turning out to be his worst nightmare.
“Kim, you stupid girl. Why? Why would you take yourself off in a strange city and get off your face drunk like this? Anything could have happened to you. Where’s your phone? I’ve been calling and texting all day.”

Kim just giggled again, as the music seeped through from the inside of the arena Kim began to sing along.

“Ieeee wannnnnn it thata waaaaaaaaaaay, tell me whyeeeeeeeeeee Nick Carter is a dick head, tell me why, he thinks he’s bloody god’s gift, tell me why, Ieeeeee never wanna see him agaaaaaainnnnn ooooh I wan it thaaaata wayeeee.”

Although Ash found her rendition extremely funny, he knew he had to cut her short and get her out of sight before all hell broke loose.

Bundling her up into the bus he noticed she looked really different, her hair was lose and dead straight with a side fringe which sat prettily over her right eye.

“Kim have you cut your hair.” Ash gasped as her once almost waist length hair now sat at her shoulders.

“Yeah you like it?” Kim almost screeched as playfully twirled for Ash.

“Yes it’s very pretty.” Ash smiled as he tried to coax Kim to sit down. “You need to drink some coffee, then have a long sleep.”

“Boooo, I need some more of them nice blue drinks I had earlier and a good old dance.” Kim tried to get up but was intercepted by Ash so she fell back into the seat in a fit of giggles.

A few moments later Ash handed Kim a hot cup of coffee, then sat down next to her.

“Kim you can’t do this, it’s dangerous, I was really worried about you, anything could have happened and I wouldn’t have known.”

“Oh don’t be such a Joy Kill, you need to live a little old timer.” Kim laughed into her cup.
Not rising to Kim’s taunts, Ash took a deep breath.
“Kim I think you should sleep this off, hopefully tomorrow will look better for you.”

Kim felt the sadness return as she looked to Ash for comfort.
“Why did he just ignore me Ash? What did I do that was so bad?”

Ash threw his arm around her and pulled her close to him.
“You didn’t do anything, this is his fault and it’s his loss.”

“Ash, am I that horrible? I just don’t get what I did wrong?”

Ash let out a heavy sigh; he placed a finger under Kim’s chin and tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes.

“Kim listen to me OK, you did absolutely nothing wrong and Nick Carter is the biggest dumbass I have ever come across, to let someone as sweet and funny and caring and beautiful as you go, well he didn’t deserve you in the first place did he?”

A single tear fell from Kim’s cheek as she let out a tiny smile. Ash gently wiped it from her cheek, then without thinking, Kim lifted her head up and pressed her lips onto Ash’s. Slowly parting her lips to deepen the kiss Ash suddenly pulled away.

“What, I’m too good for Nick but not good enough for you?” Kim harshly snapped.

Ash shook his head. “No, no, it’s not like that. I want to, it’s just.”

“It’s just what?” Kim barked feeling a little embarrassed.

Ash stood up and rubbed his face.
“Kim.”
He slowly walked over to the sink and rested on the counter, keeping his back to Kim as he searched for the right words.

“Look, I can’t tell you how many times I watched the way you looked at Nick and just wished it was me you saw, how many times I fantasised about the day you kiss me for the first time, and.” He took a deep breath.

“Kim, if I thought for one minute that you’d wake up with a smile on your face tomorrow because it was me that was lying next to you, then believe me I would be kissing you right now.” Ash turned around to see what reaction was waiting for him as he moved closer to the sofa, he rolled his eyes at the sight of Kim passed out.

“Oh for the love of God.” Ash began to laugh. “You would have to fall asleep now wouldn’t ya.” He shook his head as he bent down next to her, he threw a blanket over her and gently kissed the top of her head.
“I love you.” He whispered before creeping out of the bus and heading back over to the arena to catch the end of the show.

Kim awoke to a tiny ray of light sneaking through a gap in the blind, wincing from the sharp pain in her head she pulled herself into an upright position. Inhaling as deeply as she could she ran her hands through her tangled hair stopping at the ends as she remembered stupidly getting it cut to short yesterday.

Hearing the door click behind her Kim quickly tried to wipe the smudged mascara away from under her eyes in a desperate bid to make herself look a little more alive.
Slowly looking over her shoulder Ash came into sight, he was wearing only a pair of light grey sweat pants, his well sculpted torso instantly gained Kim’s attention.
Making his way round to sit in front of Kim she refused to make eye contact with him as the doubt of how terribly she acted last night played on her mind.

‘How’s the head?’ Ash broke the silence.

Kim chewed her bottom lip and shook her head which made the level of pain increase even more.

‘Coffee?’ Ash asked before sliding off the chair to put the kettle on.

Kim still said nothing but just smiled to signal that she would like a cup.

Watching Ash like a hawk Kim admired how the muscles in his back seemed to dance even as he did as mundane a job as filling the kettle with water, she’d not noticed before but all of a sudden he seemed to have grown up.
Ash took his time as he sifted through some washing up left on the side in search of a clean cup, he really wanted to get to the bottom of what happened yesterday and find out if the ‘kiss’ had effected their friendship, but the more he searched for the right words to use, the more uneasy the atmosphere was becoming.

The pain in Kim’s head was making her feel sick now, she swallowed hard trying to keep the vomit sitting on the top of her stomach down, taking a heavy breath she decided to break the silence.

“Ash.” She paused for a second or two.
“I’m so, so, so sorry for my behaviour yesterday.” She paused again.
“And I’m so, so, so sorry if I did anything stupid to embarrass you.”

Ash slowly looked over his shoulder.
“So you don’t remember anything about yesterday?”

Kim shrugged, “I know I’ve done something stupid, but it’s all very hazy at the min.”

Ash placed two cups on the table not sure if he was upset or relieved.

“I’m just gunna grab a T shirt it’s pretty chilly in here.”

As Ash disappeared into the back, Kim grabbed her bag and began rummaging around in search of some pain killers for her head, as she did her hand fell on a large bottle of vodka, she pulled it out and placed it on the table in front of her before going back into the back for the pills.
Once located she popped two out of the packet and let them rest in her hand, Kim looked over to the tap before returning her gaze back to the half empty bottle, as she stared a pain shot through her chest, she quickly grabbed the bottle, unscrewed the cap and swilled the tablets down with a few large gulps of the vodka, wincing slightly at the after taste.


Hearing the door creek she quickly replaced the cap and stuffed the bottle into the bottom of her bag.

“So you gunna talk me through what the hell happened yesterday or am I just gunna carry on guessin what the hell’s goin on in your head?” Ash questioned as he slammed himself down into the seat.

Kim looked up a little shocked by his tone, but knowing full well she had been an idiot yesterday she didn’t argue back. Instead she just sat in silence feeling so ashamed of herself.

“Well?” Ash pushed.

Kim slowly raised her head and peered at him through her blood shot eyes.

“Look I know your feelin shit and I hate that this has happened, but yesterday you acted so stupidly Kim, just going off like that and getting wasted in a strange place, anything could have happened to you and nobody would have known.”
Ash’s tone was harsh and to the point. The more he had run things through his head the more pissed he became with Kim.

Kim’s eyes grew wide, feeling sorry for herself she snapped back.

“Ok I know I was stupid for just going off alone, but for fucks sack Ash, you’re not the fuckin boss of me, and I was upset.”

Ash through himself back into the chair and began to nervously laugh.

“Seriously Kim your gunna try and argue this with me? If you hadn’t have come back do you know the implications that would have had for me, not only job wise but how do I explain to your mom n dad that I let you go missing in a foreign country and didn’t keep my promise to look out for you?”

Kim wasn’t in the mood to hear Ash’s little rant, her head hurt and she felt stupid enough without some kid rubbin it in her face.

“Jesus Christ Ash I know OK, I fuckin Know. I don’t need this right now.”

Ash stood up his face was almost glaring at Kim.
“You don’t need this right now hey, Kim I don’t need this right now, I’ve got enough shit to be dealing with and worry about without having to babysit you, as your friend I’m sorry this shit went down and you have to go through this, but as your boss if you can’t cope or do you job, well then I need to let you go.”

Ash instantly regretted saying that, but not only did he have to think about what was best for his career, his pride was slightly dented by last night and he always felt like it was one step forward three steps back with Kim.
Ash looked to the floor feeling a little ashamed of him, he kind of hoped now he had, had this rant it would pull Kim back to herself.

Kim said nothing to Ash as she took a deep breath and slid of her seat; she quietly made her way to the end of the bus and disappeared into the sleeping area.
Ash slumped back into his seat and threw his head into his hands.

There was an eerie quiet around the bus, Ash has spent the last 25 minutes toying with weather he should go and apologise to Kim. As he finally decided it was better to stand his ground and take the rough love approach, he heard the door click down the other end of the bus.

There was a lot of fumbling around as a bleary eyed Kim appeared struggling with a large holdall.

“What are you doin?” Ash laughed from his seat.

Kim said nothing but carried on trying to make her way through the cramped bus to the exsit.

“Seriously Kim what the hell are you doin?” Ash began to panic a little now, but still Kim didn’t respond.

“KIM” Ash shouted as he jumped from his seat.

“You don’t want me here, I’m too much agro for you, so I’ll just get out of your hair so you can happily carry on without the worry of me getting in your way.” Kim began to cry as she stuttered the words.

“Kim what the fuck? You’re actin like a little spoilt brat, you’re still drunk, now stop being stupid.” Ash was getting cross now.

“See!” Kim was uncontrollably sobbing. “You’re just being horrible.”

Ash stood there in disbelief. “Oh My God!” Ash placed his hand over his mouth in shock and began shaking his head.
“I can’t do this.” He finally muttered as he threw his hands up in the air.
“You know what, just go. Go on!” He shouted as he barged past her to open the door to let her out.
“Get the fuck outta here!”

The pair stared at each other in rage before Kim stormed out onto the cold car park.

As Kim made her way to the large cast iron gates at the end of the car park, she began to wonder what her next move would be once she reached them. Although she was certain she didn’t really want to go home, she knew she wouldn’t be able to put up with Ash and his attitude towards her a minute longer.

Stopping half way across the car park Kim let her bag slide off her shoulder then began hunting around in it for her cigarettes, soon locating them she popped one in her mouth, lit it and inhaled deeply, as she blew out the smoke a familiar voice sounded in her ear.

“Going somewhere?” it said.

Kim smiled instantly as the gruff tones of AJ’s voice crept into her ear.

Stepping into view AJ playfully pinched one her cigarettes from the open box.

“Well?” he questioned again as he proceeded to take the lighter off Kim.

Kim felt her lip quiver as warm drops of tears rolled from her cheeks.

“Dude.” AJ’s tones changed to an almost unrecognisable soothing melody, as he threw an arm around Kim hugging her as tightly as he could.

“What’s up English?” he pressed. Kim managed a small smile it was almost comforting to hear him call her that again.

“Is it Nicky?”

Fresh tears fell from her tired eyes as she shrugged her shoulders.
AJ gripped his cigarette firmly between his lips as he used his now free hand to carry Kim’s bag, slowly guiding her out of the rain and under a small bus stop like shelter.

Kim perched on a ledge trying desperately to compose herself, smoke from her cigarette wafted up in her face causing her eyes to sting even more.
AJ stood helplessly in front her not quite sure what to do, he didn’t like the feeling he was getting from seeing her in this state, it was almost as if he was watching his own sister crumble before him, anger and frustration soon began to set in.

‘C’mon English, talk to me dude. What’s goin on in your head?’

Kim kept quiet, taking another drag on her cigarette.

‘Kim!´AJ snapped. ‘Seriously girl, I really wanna help you but you gotta help me out a little to, by tellin me what the hell is goin on in your head.’

As if AJ had asked God for a little help, Kim’s shoulder bag dropped to the floor and out rolled the half empty bottle of vodka from the night before.

AJ instantly picked it up before Kim could and held it out in front of her face.

‘So this is the road you’re going down?’ AJ sternly asked.

Unable to look AJ in the eyes, Kim kept her eyes on the floor.
Shame and embarrassment swarmed her body causing her cheeks to turn a bright chrism shade.

AJ stomped out the nub of his cigarette and gently sat next to Kim.
He instantly knew where she was and what she was feeling, he’d been there so many times before and knew if he didn’t intervene and get to the bottom of it she was going to go further down before she rose back up.

‘Kim’ he almost whispered.
‘You really gotta tell me everything, I so wanna help you and trust me when I tell you I’ve walked this road many times before and it never leads anywhere good.’

Kim looked up into AJ’s deep set eyes; they were almost as watery as hers now.
Knowing she couldn’t speak, she hoped her eyes would signal to AJ that she wanted his help and she was in pain.

Sure enough he got the message.

‘Look, come back to my bus Rochelle is over there to, get dry and warm and talk to us OK?’

Kim silently nodded and let AJ guide her over to his bus.

As soon as the bus door opened Rochelle came into view, seeing the state Kim was in she threw her arms around her and held her tight.
Kim bravely fought back tears trying to get a grip of her situation.

‘Awww honey, what’s the matter?’ Rochelle cried, she looked up to AJ who just shrugged his shoulders.

Rochelle patted Kim on the back then led her over to the sofa, instructing AJ along the way to make them all a coffee.

Kim nervously perched on the edge of the seat, not looking forward to the prospect of having to spill her guts.
Looking up Rochelle had now joined AJ in the kitchen and they were whispering to each other, AJ obviously filling Rochelle in on what just happened. Kim’s emotions were flying around inside her like a roller-coaster, she hadn’t known these people for very long and it confused her as to why she felt closer to them than some of her own family members.

It wasn’t too long before AJ was back, tray in hand with coffee and biscuits for all.
AJ and Rochelle sat either side of Kim causing her to feel a little claustrophobic.

‘Whenever you’re ready Kim, we’re here to listen ok?’
Rochelle softly spoke as she gently patted Kim’s knee.

Kim managed a smile to Rochelle, she was such a calming influence.

‘I honestly don’t know where to start.’
Kim whispered as she took a small sip of coffee, hoping it would somehow prevent her from crying again.

‘Well the beginning is normally the best place.’ AJ chuckled, causing Rochelle to scowl at him for his inappropriate laugh.

‘Honey why don’t you start with what happened with you and Nicky? I’m just second guessing here but I kinda feel like that is where all this started.’
Rochelle was trying her best to just get Kim to open up.

After a deep breath and another sip of coffee, Kim began her tale, everything from her first day on the job, Andy, Nick, Ash, everything right up to present moment.


A good few hours went past, as Kim brought the story to a close everyone just sat back in their seats.

‘Holy shit, Kim.’ AJ finally brought the uncomfortable silence to an end.

‘You poor girl.’ Rochelle wept as she flung her arms around Kim embracing her as tightly as she possibly could.

‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell Nicky though Kim, you know he would have totally stuck by you and you guys would still be together now!’

‘I know maybe I should have, but I was just so upset and embarrassed by the whole ordeal. I was really ashamed and I guess I couldn’t deal with him feeling that about me too!’
Kim hung her head in shame finally realising she had done wrong.

AJ let out a huge sigh. ‘So what do we do now? You should speak to Nicky Kim.’

‘I can’t yet.’ Kim immediately snapped.

AJ looked at little hurt by her tone.

‘Sorry AJ, I didn’t mean to snap.’ Kim apologised with a smile. ‘I’m just not ready to go there yet.’

‘It’s OK, you gotta do what you gotta do, but in my opinion Kim he should know and it might change things for you both.’

Kim furiously shook her head.
‘No, I can’t go back there AJ. I get I have done wrong by not telling him, but he did wrong to by getting with that girl and not even trying to talk to me! I just don’t think I can forgive or forget something like that AJ, it really hurts you know?’

‘Yeah I understand.’ AJ nodded in agreement.
‘look just do me one favour and don’t totally right Nicky off just yet ok, just think about it ok?’

Kim reluctantly nodded just to please AJ but deep down knew the bridge between her and Nick couldn’t be mended, her heart just hurt too much and she wasn’t totally to blame in all this.

‘So what you wanna do honey? Rochelle asked trying to lighten the mood.

Kim shrugged her shoulders. ‘I dunno, I guess I should try and figure out a flight home or,,’

‘WHAT?’ Rochelle loudly interrupted.
‘You can’t just go home, you love this job. I’ve seen how happy it make you.’

‘Yeah but I had a huge reason to be happy then and besides, were you not listening to the story? Ash and I had a fight I have to go now, he doesn’t want me here.’ Kim sighed

‘Phfffft’ Rochelle huffed.
‘It would crush that boy if you left. Come on lets get you cleaned up, change of clothes and a little TLC from MAC, then you can go tell Ash you’re an idiot and get back to work!’

Kim smiled as Rochelle dragged her of the sofa and headed towards the sleeping area.

‘I’ll just go have a cigarette then shall I?’ AJ shouted after them

‘Yeah, whatever!’ Rochelle shouted back.

AJ shook his head in disbelief that he’d just been ditched.
As he hunted around for a dry box of cigarettes he was knocked forward as a pair of arms flung around him and held him tight.

‘Thank you!’

He looked over his shoulder to see Kim clinging onto him.

‘Hey English, it’s nothing. Just wish you’d spoken up sooner, y’know!’

Kim nodded.
‘Yeah sorry, I kinda fucked up didn’t I?’

‘Yeah, just a little.’ AJ laughed ‘but don’t worry k, it can all be fixed.’

‘I’m glad you found me AJ, I know how this is gunna sound but I can see clearly again now and feel a hell of a lot better, just hope I can patch it up with Ash.’

‘Don’t worry bout Ash, I doubt very much he actually wanted you to go, he loves ya English, we all do! And hey if his an jerk and won’t take ya back I’ll fire his ass n give you his job!’ AJ joked.

‘Thanks again AJ’ Kim tip toed up and planted a kiss on his cheek before heading back to Rochelle.

AJ watched as she disappeared into the back, feeling pleased with himself he began to whistle as he continued his hunt for the cigarettes.

Nick peeped out the window of his bus at the sounds of Brian and Howie playing with their sons in the car park, he smiled as he watched Baylee getting frustrated with baby James for not being able to catch a ball and Brian trying to unsuccessfully reason with him.
Spotting Nicks face in the window Brian beckoned for him to come out and play with them, Nick instantly accepted the offer and jumped off the bus, grabbing a light teal jacket on his way.

‘Uncle Nickyyyyyyyy’ Baylee shouted as he ran over to him.

Nick instantly swiped Baylee up into the air and spun him round and around.

‘You wanna play ball with us Nicky?’ A now green looking Baylee asked between deep breaths.

‘Yeah sure, I’ll show ya how to play properly.’ Nick playfully winked at Brian.

Taking a step back Brian stood by Nick and watched on as Baylee ran about trying to make sure he caught Nick’s throws.

‘So how’s it goin bro?’ Brian quietly asked.

Nick shrugged his shoulders instantly getting defensive.
‘What you mean?’

‘Nothing just touching base ya know, doesn’t feel like we talk as much as we used to.’ Brain said trying to keep it calm.


Nick knew Brian was right they use to be so tight, not just the best of friends but brothers too, always on the same level.
That changed after Brian got married and began his knew family. It wasn’t that Nick didn’t like Leighanne in fact he knew how good she was for Brian, but he did quietly resent the fact that she took him in a totally different direction to where Nick was heading and they kind of lost their closeness.
These days Nick found himself a lot closer to AJ, they were closer in age and kind of in the same place of life juggling a career, a girlfriend, a million adoring fans, stilling enjoying nights out and burning the candle at both ends.
Nick still enjoyed acting a kid and was nowhere near ready for as big a commitment as marriage and children, things were kind of good and he was having fun doing things his way.

‘Things are cool Bri, feels good to be back on the road doing our thing.’
Nick flashed a huge grin but Brian wasn’t buying it, he knew Nick better than Nick knew himself.

‘Oh right’ Brian paused.
‘And how things working out with Lauren?’

Nick looked out of the corner of his eye. ‘Fine, why?’

Sensing Nick’s unwilling to stretch to a decent conversation Brian didn’t push any further.
‘Nothing, like I said just touching base!’

Nick repositioned himself to throw back to Baylee, as he looked up he caught sight of AJ running across the car park to the workers buses.
Softly he threw the ball to Baylee and watched on to see who would answer the door. ‘I

wonder if it’s Kim’s bus?’
Nick thought to himself just as he felt the sharp pain of the ball connecting with his crotch.

‘Sorry Nicky!!!’ Baylee shouted over midst a fit of giggles as he watched Nick drop to one knee.

‘Oooooooh You ok dude?’ Howie winced as he bounced James on his hip.

Nick closed his eyes and held a thumb up as he tried to compose himself.

Feeling his pain Brian gently patted Nick on the shoulder. ‘Sorry Bro.’

‘It’s cool, it’s cool.’ Nick panted as he began to stand tall. ‘I gotta sit down for a minute.’

Nick hobbled over to the steps of his bus, slowly followed by Howie and Brian who were trying desperately not to look at each other so they wouldn’t break out into laughter.
Nick slowly lowered himself down as Howie and Brian gathered round him, Howie placed James on the floor so he could run round in front of them whilst he talked to Nick.

‘Can I get you a drink or something?’ Brain asked trying to take his mind off wanting to laugh.

‘Nah, Nah. It’s all good in da hood.’ Nick blinked profusely trying to remove the water from his eyes.

‘So have you spoken to Kim yet?’ Howie questioned, taking Nick by surprise.

‘Erm, no. I’ve not even seen her to be honest. Did she even come?’
Nick felt his stomach flip, he didn’t know if it was nerves, guilt or just an aftershock of his accident.

‘Yeah she’s defiantly here.’ Brian chipped in.

‘You think she might just be purposely staying outta your way?’ Howie asked.

Nick shrugged his shoulders; he didn’t care for this conversation or the way it was suddenly making him feel like shit.
‘I don’t know and I don’t care to be honest with you, I’ll be staying outta her way so it’s for the best if she stays outta mine too.’

‘C’mon Nick you were besotted with her a few months ago, how things just change that quickly?’ Brian asked totally confused.

‘They just do OK!’ Nick snapped.
‘All you guy’s need to know is she’s a lying, cheating whore and I wish I’d never laid eyes on her!’

‘You don’t mean that Nick, I know you don’t. Kim was a lovely girl who made you happy.’ Brian contested.

Nick shook his head and let out a fake laugh. ‘NO, she was a good fuck and a great liar and that’s ALL there is to her.’

Howie and Brian both glanced at each other taken aback by the hostility Nick held towards Kim.

‘Does Lauren know about Kim?’ Howie asked, instantly wishing he’d never.

‘Yeah she knows, she knows I got lonely on tour and when I needed a lay there was a girl available to care of it!’ Nick let out another fake laugh.

‘Nick!’ Howie scowled. ‘What the hell is wrong with you? That’s not Kim your trying to describe there and you frickin know it. Seriously dude, that’s not cool!’

There was a creak from inside the bus, causing the three men to jump. Someone had obviously been listening to the conversation.

‘Well’ Nick said breaking the silence.
‘Speaking of my needs there’s a pretty woman in here that’s more than ready to meet them, so I think we’re done here guys.’

With that Nick stood up and dashed inside the bus egger to make sure Lauren hadn’t heard too much.

Brian and Howie both looked at each other in utter disbelief.

‘What’s goin on in his head?’ Howie muttered as they began to move away from the bus.

‘I dunno’ Brian shrugged.
‘but I can see it’s not gunna end well, the kids practically unrecognisable.’

‘I know, I’ve never heard him speak about women that way either.’ Howie sighed.

As they reached their original spot they saw AJ coming out of a bus, closely followed by Ash. Both men shook their heads.

‘I guess it’s not gunna be an easy tour.’ Howie groaned

‘Is it ever?’ replied Brian.

They rolled their eyes as they grabbed their boys and headed back to their buses for some peace.



Back on the bus Nick found Lauren pottering around in the kitchen.

‘Hey doll’ he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

‘Hey.’ Lauren quietly whispered back.
‘So where did you go?’

‘Nowhere I was just outside with Howie, Brian and the kids playing a little ball.’ Nick squeezed a little tighter.

‘Have fun?’ Lauren freed herself from Nicks hold.

‘Yeah kind of.’ Nick answered.

‘Kind of?’ Lauren repeated.

Sensing something was wrong Nick began to tread very carefully.
‘Yeah I wasn’t paying full attention and Baylee threw the ball straight into my crotch.’ Nick winced again as he remembered.

‘Why were you not paying attention?’ Lauren snapped.

‘I spotted AJ across the car park and wondered where he was going.’ Nicks eyes narrowed.

‘and where did he go?’ Lauren continued.

‘I dunno that’s when I got hit. Look is everything ok I’m sensing a little tension here and I don’t know why?’ Nick carefully egged a little closer to Lauren.

‘I heard you conversation.’ Lauren finally snapped.
‘I was on my way outside to come see you and I heard you all talking.
Why did you not tell me you were sooooooooo in love with this girl who USED to work on your tour but now all of a sudden is STILL working on your tour?
Seriously Nick what the fuck is going on here? Did you just bring me to make some ex-girlfriend jealous cause that’s really shitty if you did Nick, I thought we had something here.’

Nick stepped in and grabbed Lauren to calm her down, he felt so terrible inside.
Was Lauren right, was she just his rebound, but he thought he had pretty strong feelings for her, she couldn’t be just a rebound.

I should have thought this through better. He said to himself.
I’d not think about how Lauren would feel in all this, I should have known my little story about Kim wouldn’t have held up for long once we arrived. As he breathed out he felt extremely nauseous.

‘Look Lauren, I’m so sorry if you feel I’ve misled you in anyway.’ He looked into her eyes and could see they were beginning to water. He felt like such an ass.
‘Maybe I wasn’t 100% honest about my relationship with Kim, but that’s not me hiding things from you I guess I wasn’t 100% honest with myself about it either.
Look the main thing is I love having you in my life and I love that your here with me and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Whatever you wanna know about my relationship with Kim I will tell you ok and I’ll tell you the truth. I’m so sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings or made you feel unhappy, it was never my intention, and I’m sorry Lauren.’

Lauren took a deep breath as Nick removed a piece of hair from her face; she looked into his amazing blue eyes and felt herself instantly melt.

‘You’ll tell me the whole truth Nick?’ She asked.

‘The whole truth and nothing but the truth.’ He replied.

He was feeling so bad inside and wanted desperately to quickly fix this feeling of uneasiness he was having so without even thinking Nick opened his mouth and whispered to Lauren.

‘I love you.’

He just couldn’t stop himself from saying it, the words just fell out of his mouth he even repeated himself.

Lauren began to cry as she heard those words roll off Nicks tongue and a huge smile beamed across her face spreading her luscious tender red lips.

‘Oh my god Nick, I love you too, I’ve wanted to say it for a while but just thought it was too soon.
I love you, I love you. She repeated over and over before gently kissing him and leading him through to the bedroom.

Chapter 33

Kim sat up at the table slowly sipping her coffee, feeling a little more optimistic about what lay ahead.

‘It’s amazing what a wash and a little Lancôme can do for you.’ She joked to Rochelle.

‘I know right!’ Rochelle flashed her enormous sexy smile from across the table.

‘In case I’ve not said it enough already, I can’t thank you and AJ enough for this. I know your loyalties should lie with Nick so it means a lot for you both to offer your time to me so kindly.’
Kim quickly lowered her eyes towards the rim of her cup.

Rochelle stretched her hand out and placed it on Kim’s.

‘Look Kim, me and AJ are so fond of you, you have a beautiful inside and out and I’m so sorry you have to go through all this shit.
If I’m 100% honest then yeah I think you and Nicky should be together, you were good together and I hate that you’re not, but Lauren is a nice girl and none of this is here fault, so I’m not going to meddle with her and Nicky’s relationship. That’s a choice and decision he has to find and make on his own OK, but I don’t want that to affect our friendship.’

Kim smiled, even though her heart was falling out, just as she did there was a rattle at the door and AJ appeared looking slightly anxious, as he pulled himself up onto the bus.
Kim spotted a shadow behind him, continuing to look through AJ, Ash soon came into view.
Kim took a deep breath and felt her face flush with embarrassment.

‘Lookin good English’ AJ tried to enlighten the tense atmosphere, causing an echo of fake laughs to ring through the bus.

‘So Rochelle, shall we go grab something to eat and let these pair talk?’ AJ continued.

‘Yeah sure, I’ll just grab my jacket and purse.’ Rochelle instantly replied as she slid out from the table.

As the two made a swift exit Ash manoeuvred his way around the table to fill Rochelle’s spot.
There was an humiliating silence as they both sat there trying to think of the most appropriate way to start their conversation.

‘You’re a dickhead.’ Ash finally muttered.

Kim looked up slightly in shock from the abrupt outburst, as she did she caught a slight glint in Ash’s eye.
Seeing her worried face Ash coyly smiled to let her know everything was ok and Kim instantly returned the gesture.

‘I’m sorry Ash.’ Kim felt her eyes sting a little.

‘Don’t worry about it OK, it was a shitty time and we both were way harsher than we needed to be.’ Ash paused.
‘Look I don’t see why if you willing to work WITH me and LET me help you we can’t just move on from this and get an awesome job done whilst having an awesome time. What d’ya say?’

‘Sounds bloody good to me.’ Kim beamed.

‘So we cool then?’

‘Yeah we cool, I promise not to be a pain in the arse anymore and from now on it’s all about the job!’ Kim smirked.

‘Well not ALL about the job, we gotta fit some fun in there too, but on a more serious note what are you gunna do about this whole Nick thing? I know it’s hurting you and you don’t need to be ashamed of that, it’s a pretty shitty situation.’ Ash messed uncomfortably with his hair.

‘I dunno Ash.’ Kim shrugged.
‘but your right, I’m not gunna pretend it doesn’t hurt I don’t know where it went wrong or that he found someone new but there’s nothing I can do about it, he has clearly made his choice and I’m not a part of that anymore, so I just gotta keep goin n doin my thing till it doesn’t matter anymore.’

‘Well’ Ash let out a heavy sigh.

‘Well what?’ Kim looked on intrigued.

‘You could fight for him and get him back?’ Ash narrowed his brows and he waited for a response.

‘Again WHAT?’

‘If you want him then play the game and get him back, you have a guy on your side which I believe could give you an angle you know, I could read the situations like a guy and give you a kind of advantage.’

‘Ok at the risk of turning into a parrot WHAT?’ Kim was struggling to comprehend what Ash was playing at.

‘Look I know this may seem a little unorthodox coming from me and yeah I’m not Nick Carters biggest fan, but I am yours and well not having Nick has not worked out for ya has it, so try something different and give in to what you want and fucking get it!’
Ash took a breath as Kim tried to make sense of Ash’s ludicrous idea.
‘Look I know I’m never having you, but I want you happy and if that jerk off makes you happy then let me help you get him back, that is if you want him back – although I dunno why anyone in their right mind would.’

Kim shot him an even more confused look.

‘Look I dunno ok, maybe I’m just rambling and going way of course but I just wanted you to know if you wanted to go that way then it could be an option and I’m here to help you ok with or without Mr Carter, it’s your call so think about it ok.’

The vibration of Ash’s phone interrupted his stride,
‘Sorry Kim, its HQ I really gotta take this, be right back ok?’

‘Yeah, yeah, sure, go for it.’ Kim smiled.

As Ash made a quick exit from the table Kim began to ponder he idea.

Could that seriously work? She thought to herself. Do I actually want him back after the way he has treated me? Kim began biting her nails, a thinking past time of hers.
As she thought even harder a sinister smirk spread across her lips. Her thoughts became more vivid, that’s it.’
She almost shouted out ‘REVENGE! I make him want me back then break his heart right back’ Kim sat back smiling all short of an evil laugh.

Kim snapped back to reality as she heard Ash saying bye on his cell.

‘Everything Ok?’ she smiled as he slipped back into his seat.

‘Yeah fine, just a general check in n what not.’ Ash chewed on his bottom lip. ‘So where were we?’

Kim laughed. ‘You were just cooking up some hair brained idea to get Nick back.’

‘Oh yeah, so how’s that working out for ya?’
Kim shyly shrugged.
‘I dunno Ash it’s a pretty out there plan, and I dunno if I even want him back.’

‘Well just remember it’s an option if you want it, but maybe just concentrating on you for a while wouldn’t be such a bad thing.’

‘Mmmmmm, maybe, I dunno. Maybe a little project like that could be fun though and pass some time.’ Kim waited, hoping Ash would get on the same page as her.

It’s not really a project Kim what are you getting at?’

‘Err nothing, I dunno, it doesn’t matter.’ Kim quickly answered.

Ash eyed her knowing full well she was concocting something.

‘No, I think you were right about the time to me, for now anyway.’

‘Kim’ Ash knew there was more going on in her head.

‘What?’

‘You’re thinking something and I wanna know what it is.’ Ash pressed.

‘It’s nothing honestly.’

‘Yes it is, I know you all too well, now what are you plotting?’ Ash continued to fight against Kim’s facade.

‘Alright, I just had a little thought that maybe your plan to get him back wasn’t completely fall through, maybe it could be tweaked a little to accommodate a little revenge?’

Ash instantly shook his head. ‘No Kim, don’t even think about that route, it’s too risky, for us both. either want him and go for it or don’t and leave him well alone.’

‘But’ Kim tried to protest.

‘NO!’ Ash’s tone was force enough to let Kim no it was a no go with him.

‘OK, it was just an idea, forget it!’ Kim fake smiled, although the idea never truly left her head, if she was going to do this she would be going it alone, or maybe she would unknowingly to Ash call on his advances for just a little help!

‘Ok, that sounds like a plan to me, so shall we face the world and get some work done?’ Ash almost squealed, thankful he had dodged that bullet.

‘Yeah let’s do this’ Kim sprung to life ready to face the world again and sus out her first move!

Chapter 34

Waking to the warm caress of the morning sunlight beaming on her face, Kim smiled to herself.
Today was officially the first day of the new and improved her, after a long soak in the hotel tub and one hell of an amazing night sleep, Kim was refreshed, renewed and rewired and after delving deep into the second hour of her bubble bath Kim had decided to make a pact with herself.
There was to be no more destructive behaviour, her body was her temple and she was going to look after it by eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, which ment laying of the excessive alcohol consumption and finding the time to tone and get back into her dancing.
After toying with the idea of giving up smoking too, she quickly made her excuses of too much to soon and opted to stick with it for just a little while longer anyway! Everyone needed a little sin to keep them sane!
The second part of her pact was that there was to be no more whining, moping, sulking or time wasting about men. From this day forth it was all about enjoying an amazing opportunity, making new friends and having a bloody good laugh, wanting and worry about life wasn’t making it interesting or successful, it was just wasting it. Destiny was now being left to run its own course and situations would be dealt with as and when needed.

Kim had been grateful to Ash for allowing her to not work last night and stay in a hotel ready for the long haul move to the next destination. It was a bit of a tight schedule because it meant by the time they had set down and travelled to the next venue they would have to set up again straight away just in time for the boys next show, there was no room for any hiccups and Ash needed Kim on top form so he had given her the night off to get her head in the game.

With this fresh in her mind Kim dived out of her bed, switched the TV on to some obscure morning breakfast show.

‘I guess I should have enough time to hit the gym, have a swim and grab some food before I need to get back.’ She said counting round the minutes on her watch.

Kim turned and picked up her back pack from the floor then began routing around for something she could wear in the hotel gym but the only thing she could locate was a pair of old cotton shorts which she used for bed.

‘Ah who cares, it’s only me that knows.’ She muttered as she went back in the bag in search of a vest of some kind.

After talking herself into the shorts for the second time Kim quickly threw on the ad hock outfit, got a hand towel, iPod and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before darting out the room.



Back on site everyone was nursing pretty bad hangovers, not having to pack up after the show everyone had decided to go out after it and sample the local nightlife. Ash pottered around the arena after telling the 100th group of girls that the Backstreet Boys were not around and had gone off to do TV and radio promos.
Pulling up a couple of boxes left by the door of the bus Ash carefully plonked himself on one then used the other as a make shift table as he began tinkering around with some wires and fuses until he was interrupted by a large American football bouncing of the back of his head.

‘Ouch’ he cried as he spun round in search of the culprit.

‘Hey sorry Mr, may I have my ball back please.’

Ash smiled at the sight of the small boy stood before him. Instantly feeling at ease the boy took a few steps closer to Ash and dropped to his knees.

‘What ya doin?’ He inquisitively asked.

‘Just seeing if I can repair these broken things.’ Ash instantly responded a little taken back by the confidence of the young chap in front of him.

‘Why don’t you just buy new ones? That what my dad does, if something’s broke he just buys replacements, but sometimes I try to fix the things ya know.’ The kid rambled on as Ash chuckled.

‘So where are your parents, I don’t think they’d be too happy about you disappearing off. I’m sure they’ll be looking for you won’t they?’ Ash cut the boy off as he scanned the car park but no one was in sight.

‘Yeah, momma gets pretty worried if she doesn’t spot me straight away. It’s kinda annoying ya no especially when there’s cute chicks about, I’m like jeez Mom I’m 7 years old now cut me some slack.’

Ash burst out laughing. ‘Are you sure you won’t get in trouble for talking to strangers then?’

The boy looked at his feet a little embarrassed. ‘Hey I’m Baylee.’ He finally said stretching out his hand towards Ash.

‘Well Baylee, I’m Ash and I’m very pleased to meet you.’ Ash took Baylee’s hand and gave it a firm shake.

‘Yeah I know you.’ Baylee smiled.
‘I’ve seen you in the sky messing with the lights, it looks pretty scary all the way up there but I bet it’s a great view, like being a bird or something. I’d like to be a bird that would be pretty cool.’ Baylee started to ramble again.

‘Wow you can talk some.’ Ash joked as Baylee’s eyes dropped to the floor again.
‘So Baylee, who’s 7 years old and wants to be a bird who fixes things, wanna give me a hand with these wires?’

‘Yeah, I guess that’ll be cool.’ Baylee shifted onto his bottom as he kept one eye on Ash subtly mimicking his mannerisms.

The two sat there in the cool breeze for a good 20 minutes as Ash taught Baylee a few tricks of the trade when it came to rewiring and they chatted about everything that popped into Baylee’s fascinated mind.

‘Baylee, Baylee’

The frantic tones came from the other side of the car park as Leighanne stepped off the bus, eyes scanning everywhere for her young son.

‘I’m here ma.’ Baylee called over from where he was eagerly perched helping Ash.

Leighanne elegantly glided across the car park to Baylee.

‘What cha doin mini man? Her voice was soft and soothing as she ruffled her son’s hair.

‘Ma’ Baylee protested as he smoothed down his tussled curls.
‘This is Ash mom, look what he’s taught me to do.’

He waved a few cables in his mother’s face pleased as punch with his accomplishment.

Leighanne flashed a huge smile full of prise as she looked clueless at the wires.
‘Well done you.’

Leighanne turned to Ash and offered her hand.
‘Hi I’m Brian’s wife Leigh and I see you’ve meet our son Baylee.’

‘Hello I’m Ash.’ Getting to his feet he took her hand and shook it.
‘That’s quite a kid you have there.’

‘Yeah he can be quite full on at times, I’m sorry if he’s held you up I’ll get him out your way now.’ Leighanne smiled.

‘Oh no, he’s been no trouble at all, really helped me out actually.’ Ash turned and winked at Baylee who was looking a little upset at the thought of having to leave.

Leighanne too spotted Baylee’s reaction to having to go, so she pulled up another box and sat herself down next to Ash’s seat.

‘Well if that’s the case then maybe you could teach me to?’ She smiled broadly as an excited Baylee began pulling a handful of wires from a tub.

Leighanne turned to Ash and whispered,
‘Maybe now I’ll understand what he just showed me.’

Ash laughed as he took his seat and let Baylee conduct his master class for his mother, every now and then Baylee would look too Ash for reassurance he was doing the right thing.

‘He’s a cute kid.’ Ash turned to Leighanne

She smiled proudly ‘Yeah he’s amazing, a bit full on at times but amazing. You know he’s been in awe of you guys up in the celling he thinks your all super heroes like spider man.’

They both chuckled.

‘Well I’ve never been likened to a super hero before, I could get used to that.’ Ash joked.

‘I hope you don’t think I’m outta line here, but do you mind me asking what happened with Kim and Nick? I know I never really got a chance to get to know her but the few times I did get to say Hello she seemed like such a nice girl, just what Nick needed in his life but then it all just stopped and nobody seems to know why.’ Leighanne uncomfortably repositioned herself on the tiny box.

Ash shook his head. ‘I honestly wish I knew and so does she. It’s hit her hard you know.’

‘What do you mean and so does she? Please tell me she knew they had split up before she saw him with Lauren, please.’ Leighanne interrupted, as she pleaded with Ash.

Ash shrugged. ‘I guess she knew it was over when Nick never bothered to contact her after he left Europe.’

‘That was it? Nick just left Europe and left her behind, no explanation?’ Leighanne stared at Ash confused.

‘Yep pretty much.’

‘It just doesn’t make any sense though.’ Leighanne continued to try and piece the puzzle together.
‘From the way Brian spoke about their relationship it was like Nick was head over heels, you know Brian even said it looked like Kim could be ‘the one’ and Nick was, well. I just don’t get it!’

‘You and me both.’ Ash chipped in.

There was a prolonged silence as the two adults pondered what went wrong.

‘Kim has another boyfriend.’ Baylee sharply broke the silence.

Ash and Leighanne both jolted out of their thoughts.

‘What you say baby?’ Leighanne asked.

‘Nicky said Kim has another boyfriend and that’s why they can’t be friends anymore. I like Kim she’s pretty and she knows loads of jokes, she’s funny.’ Baylee’s thoughts went back to his wires as Ash and Leighanne stared at him.

‘Baylee I don’t understand what you mean honey. When did Nick tell you this?’ Leighanne knelt next to her son.

‘The other day, I was playing Mario with Nick and I asked him if he would bring Kim to play cause I don’t like Lauren she doesn’t talk to me she only talks to the grown-ups and Nick said that we can’t play with Kim anymore because there not friends anymore because she has another boyfriend. I got loads of boyfriends and girlfriends so I don’t know why Kim isn’t allowed lots to.’

Ash almost laughed at Baylee’s naivety.

Ash turned to Leighanne and shrugged raising his palms to the sky.

‘Baylee did Nicky say anything else to you about Kim or her new friend?’ Ash leaned forward to get closer to Baylee.

‘Nope that was it, he got cross then because I’d distracted him from the game and won.’ Baylee continued with his task.

‘It just doesn’t make any sense.’ Leighanne stood up
‘what does he mean Kim has another boyfriend Ash?’

Ash stood up and stepped away Baylee so he was slightly out of hearing range, Leighanne followed him.

‘Leighanne she honest as I stand here before you has not even looked at anyone other than Nick.
Maybe Baylee has misunderstood.’

Leighanne shook her head causing her soft golden hair to ripple.
‘No, no that boy’s got some kind of photographic memory never forgets a dam thing, believe me.’ She cocked an eyebrow.
‘Nicks seen or heard something from somewhere and got it into his head that, that’s the case.’

‘So why did he not confront Kim about it? Why just skulk away without a word?’ Ash chewed his lip as he processed Baylee’s information again.

‘He wouldn’t.’ Leighanne sighed.
‘Whatever he thought he seen or knew he’s just shut it out to protect himself.’

‘Shit’ Ash muttered.

Leighanne looked at him sternly.

‘Oh sorry’ Ash apologised as if his mom had just scolded him.
‘So what now?’ He asked.

‘I don’t know.’ Leighanne stroked her chin in thinking mode.
‘Look we have an appointment to view some dogs soon so we’re gunna have to go, but see if you can find out any more from Kim and I’ll speak to Brian and if anyone gets any further in the rabbit hunt we’ll let the other know.’

‘Ok, sounds like a plan but,’ Ash stopped.

‘But what?’ Leighanne stared at Ash.

‘Well, I think Kim may just be starting to put it behind her and well I don’t wanna be pushing her back to square one.’ Ash softly said.

‘Ok well it’s entirely up to you how you wanna play it, if that’s the case then maybe hang on till we find out some more information.? Leighanne softly smiled

‘Ok cool, let me know then as soon as you find anything.’

‘I will.’ Leighanne smiled again before turning to Baylee.
‘Baylee honey, we’ve got to go now and look at the doggies, say thank you and goodbye to Ash for letting you help him out.’

‘But I’ve not finished yet, I don’t even wanna go look at the stupid dogs, there for babies not roadies.’ Baylee huffed.

Ash took a few steps towards Baylee then knelt beside him.
‘Look fella if you behave for your mom and be a good boy then maybe when you get back she will let you come and help me in the celling, You know a big part of being a roadie is being able to follow orders.’

Baylee’s eyes lit up like giant stars. ‘Oh ma can I, can I please help Ash when we get back Please?’

Leighanne smiled grateful to Ash for the persuasion.
‘Ok as long as Ash doesn’t mind.’

‘Thanks mom, thanks Ash.’ Baylee beamed as he hopped to his feet ready to follow his mothers instructions.

‘No problem mate, see you when you get back ok.’ Ash squeezed his shoulder.

‘Thanks, I guess I’ll be in touch.’ Leighanne whispered to Ash as she held Baylee’s hand and began to lead him back across the car park.

‘Oh and don’t forget to be good else the deals off!’ Ash shouted after them.

‘Will do Ash.’ Baylee shouted back before waving.

‘Cute kid.’ Ash chuckled to himself as he settled back down to clear the mess before it was time to get back to the day job.

Chapter 35



As the taxi spun round the corner the huge venue came into view, towering in all its magnificence above the small buildings that cowered below it.
Kim inhaled deeply then softly blew out as for a brief moment anxiety crept in ready to consume her, bravely she fought it off and lifted her head high allowing her new found confidence to regain its rightful place.

‘This is it.’ Kim said to herself as the large cast iron gates of the loading area appeared in the front window.
‘You’re a strong, confident woman without worry or regret and you’ll get what you want from this new journey.’
She continued to prep herself in her head sounding more and more like some whack self-help recording until the taxi pulled to a halt.

Opening the door she slid off the back seat and out of the cab, quickly stepping round to the boot of the vehicle, Kim thanked the driver and hauled her bag over her shoulder.
It looked pretty busy considering Ash said there wasn’t much to do till after the show that evening, everybody seemed to be rushing around with their hands full.

Kim took the warm blast of heat on her shin from the taxi exhaust as her cue to get moving and headed straight for her bus.
As she crossed the car park a few of the crew shot her uneasy smiles but she kept her head up and smiled back.

No one was on the bus when Kim got on there so she quickly dumped her bag on her bunk and decided to go off looking for Ash, grabbing a can of sprite as she passed the fridge.

Stepping off the last step Kim dug in her jacket pocket and pulled out her cigarettes and lighter quickly flicking the bottom of the pack one stick rose above the others, Kim pulled it from the box using her mouth and lit it before putting her lighter inside the cigarette box and shoving it back in her pocket.

Taking a slow stroll towards the building Kim continued to watch the army of workers running back and forth with different wires boxes and tiny leads.

‘YO’

Looking ahead Kim beamed as Ash appeared in the doorway.

‘Yo’ Kim shouted back laughing.

Ash walked forward to meet her halfway.

‘It looks pretty busy round here, thought you said it was lazy day till after show?’ Kim raised an eyebrow.

‘Ah it’s nothing just thought we could do our checks earlier so everyone can have a longer rest ready for tonight, the travel and then the next mammoth set up. I tell you, I never been on a schedule this tight before and I’m proper shitting it!’ Ash screwed his face up.

‘Well it’s a bloody good job I’m back then isn’t it!’ Kim joked.

‘Sure is.’ Ash smirked.
‘So you ready to get started? I could do with you helping me check those moving heads and I’m not sure about them PAR 64’s on the right.’

‘Yeah, Yeah sure.’ Kim smiled before taking another drag on her cigarette.

‘Cool, so give me the rest of that.’ Ash pointed to what was left of the cigarette.
‘Then you can go grab me some C clamps and a couple of yoke’s just in case and I’ll meet you up there.’

Looking highly unimpressed Kim handed to cigarette over to Ash and screwed her face at him before heading off to perform her duties.


A short while later Kim found herself standing at the foot of the enormous stage staring up at all the lights above her head, she was fighting her hardest to hold back feelings of doubt and uncertainty that were clawing away at her trying to break her spirit.

‘NO’ she shouted in her head but it was with that much force sound actually surfaced.

‘Hey’ a voice echoed the almost empty arena.

Kim looked up and spotted Ash up in the rigging.

‘Come on up with them clamps you waster.’ Ash flicked a tiny ball of rolled up gaffer tape down at Kim as she tried to dodge it she embarrassingly fell head first over the row of seats at the side of her causing her backside to become marooned over the top of the seats for the world to see.

Hearing the rumble of several fits of laughter Kim quickly got back to her feet and began smoothing down her clothes and hair.
Looking back up to Ash who was now lying on a tiny platform holding his stomach through laughter an unimpressed Kim flipped him the finger.

‘Fuckin knob.’ She cursed up to him but this just made him laugh even more, beginning to see the funny side Kim to let out a little snigger as she walked over to the ladder and hooked herself up to the harness.

‘That’s not funny Ash.’ Kim huffed as she reached the top off the rigging and shuffled across to change harnesses.

‘Yeah it bloody was your face was even funnier though.’ Ash began to crack up again as he impersonated Kim’s facial expressions in slow motion.

Kim shook her head and sharply slapped Ash across the top of his head.

‘Loser’ she muttered jokingly.
‘Here take your dam clamps you Muppet.’

Ash clutched the bag to his chest and tried to compose himself, but it was no good every time he looked back at Kim it triggered his giggles.

‘Alright, alright, get a grip now, Kim fell over and it was so, so funny, let’s move on shall we?’ Kim rolled her eyes.

Ash tried to instruct Kim through the laughing but he was failing miserably, it wasn’t long till their attention was brought to the sound of over excited girls giggling and chatting away.
Kim looked down at her watch.

‘Sound check time already?’ She turned to Ash.
‘bit early aren’t they?’ she continued.

‘Yeah they decided to open the doors and get them in early because it’s a big crowd today but the official start time is still the same. You wanna get out before it starts? Ash asked.

Kim paused for a moment to think about it then shook her head.

‘Nah it’s ok, I’m not hiding away any more and it can only get easier after this one right?’

Ash smiled and gently rubbed his friends shoulder.
‘Cool, lets crack on then.’

Kim watched over the banister as 100’s of girls poured into the arena and rushed to get as close to the stage as they could, occasionally passing Ash bits and bobs as he requested.
There was a crackle over Ash’s radio as his name was called through.
Ignoring his conversation Kim continued to watch the antics of the girls below, admiring some of their outfits and trying to make out what some of their banners said.

‘Yeah get everyone in place for sound check, good to go in the next 10 to 15 minutes, I’ll be up in right side rig if anyone wants to know where I am but radio through if I’m needed over.’

Ash conversation began to filter through to Kim’s radar.

’10 minutes’ she thought.
‘If I go know I can get down and out before it starts’ she toyed with the idea for a few minutes but then it was too late as the crowd roared and Brian had snook out on stage early with Baylee.

‘Here sort these.’ Ash interrupted her thoughts as he fisted a handful of blue and red wires in her face.
‘He’s a cute kid.’ Ash smiled as he peered over the banister towards the stage

‘Yeah he is.’ Kim smiled in agreement.

‘Boy can do some bloody talking though.’ Ash chuckled.

Kim looked at him as if to say how do you know?

‘He came over the other day after he hit me with a ball, then just stayed.’
He laughed as he read Kim’s face.
‘His mom’s pretty cool to.’

Kim’s eye’s nearly popped out of her head.
‘So what now you’re all best friends?’ her tone was slightly harsher than intended but she didn’t understand how Ash seemed to have gone from not really liking any of them to thinking there cool.

‘Nah chill out man, she came over to fetch Baylee when he was talking with me, then we just started talkin n she seemed a really nice person.’ Ash tried to be blasé about yesterday’s encounter.

‘So what did you talk about?’ Kim had to shout the roar from the crowd below began to drown her out as AJ now appeared on stage.

‘Nothing, just Baylee and what he had been doing.’ Ash shrugged.

Kim looked straight at Ash filled with suspicion. ‘and the rest.’ She shouted again as Howie took to the stage.

Ash innocently raised his palms to the ceiling. ‘I dunno what else you want me to say, I got hit with a ball, I got talking to Baylee, he wanted to help me with the wires, his mom came looking for him, we started talking they went off to look for dogs, what else can I tell you?’

The screams below were almost deafening as Nick finally took his place on stage.

‘I know there’s something else you must have talked about Ash because I know you and I know when you hold back, so you can tell me the truth.’ Kim was almost screaming to be heard above the noise.

‘The truth!’ Ash bellowed back
‘The truth is you need to get the fuck over Nick Carter!’

The two froze as they both realised the whole arena was silent.
Kim closed her eyes and took a few steps right to get out of sight.
Ash bravely looked over the banister and winced at the sight of hundreds of set of eyes all looking up in his direction. Ash embarrassingly smiled before shimmering back out of view to hide with Kim.

Luckily enough down below had only heard Nick Carter being screamed so Brian did his best to smooth it over and made jokes about the crew being in love with Nick, but Nick couldn’t take his eyes away from where Kim had stood, his facial expression was hard and unwarming as he perched on the edge of his stool.
Brian began to take requests for songs to move things along and Nick finally snapped back to reality as Incomplete began to filter through the speakers.


Back up in the rigging Kim threw her head into her hands and shook it.
‘Oh My God Ash, how friggin embarrassing.’

Ash was bright red and slumped down to his knees.
‘Shit’ he looked up to Kim.
‘It could only happen to us couldn’t it?’

Kim shook her head then crouched down to sit next to Ash; she stretched her legs out in front of her so her feet hung off the end of the ledge.

‘Yeah it could only happen to us.’ She repeated before beginning to laugh.

Ash soon joined in, Kim rested her head on his shoulder. ‘I guess we’re stuck here now till down there clears.’

She felt Ash’s head nod.
‘Sorry again, I’m not doing well am I, how long have I been back?’ she joked.

‘It’s ok’ Ash paused. ‘You were right though.’

‘What you mean?’ Kim asked tilting her head to look at him.

Ash took a deep breath before informing Kim on everything Baylee had told him and Leighanne.

Kim sat up straight as she processed what Ash had told her.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you straight away, I just didn’t know what to do.’ Ash looked doe eyed at Kim who just shrugged.
‘You Ok?’ he asked

‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ Kim softly spoke.

‘So what you gunna do about it?’ Ash questioned.

Kim shrugged again. ‘Probably nothing.’

‘What?’ Ash shook his head confused.

‘I just dunno how I feel about it at the minute.’ Kim paused.
‘Part of me understands why he never called and now has a new girlfriend so I forgive him, then another part is kinda pissed he thought I could do something like that and I wanna know what made him think that and then I wonder why he just let it go with question or fight. So yeah, I’m not sure, we’ll see.’

‘You sure?’ Ash pressed not quite comfortable with her response.

‘Yep.’

‘You not gunna mention it to him at all?’

‘Dunno? Maybe if the time or place calls for it, but for now I won’t stress, let’s just see what happens.’
Kim looked over the edge to see how far along sound check had gone as she looked down Nick looked up and the two locked gaze immediately.

For Kim it felt like time froze for that split second and morphed into an eternity, her heart pounded heavily into her chest as she remembered how engaging those angle blue eyes were.
As Nick broke the gaze she remembered to breathe again and inhaled deeply, she quickly sat back licking her dry lips.

For Nick his heart sank, for that brief moment in time that feeling of butterflies in his stomach, his heart beating double time and that ball stuck in his throat returned. He’d forgotten how exciting and euphoric that feeling felt but then he remembered the final scene of that last day and a pain shot through his heart.
Nick couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the sound check he was completely off and kept forgetting words, although his audience found it quite cute he was struggling to keep up the façade the pain of missing someone who was now that close was worse than he had expected, he continued to glance up to where she was every chance he got but she never looked back over.


‘You Ok there bro?’ AJ danced around Nick as they made their way to the side of the stage for the photos.

‘HUH?’ Nick responded.

AJ stopped. ‘You OK bro?’ he asked again.

‘Nah, Erm can you do me a favour bro and take my backstage tour today? I’m not feelin too good.’ Nick quietly spoke turning his back to the crowd so they wouldn’t know what he was saying.

‘Yeah sure, no problem. You get checked out though you looking a bit grey and out of it.’ AJ smiled.

‘Yeah will do I’ll be fine in a bit.’

As the boys smiled and posed for their photo’s Kim and Ash shimmied down the ladder as fast as they could laughing as they made a quick break for freedom without being spotted.



Once outside Kim and Ash laughed again at their misfortune, they each lit up a cigarette and listened as the buzzing of swarms of fans making their way towards the arena filled the air.

‘Its gunna be a good show tonight.’ Ash said as smoke filtered out of his mouth.

Kim cocked an eyebrow at him. ‘And what brings you to that conclusion oh wise one?’

Ash shrugged, ‘You can just kinda tell, there’s an atmosphere you know something in the air.’

‘Oh well that explains it then.’ Kim laughed.

‘Yeah yeah. Well you know the drill I got calls to make, people to track down and last minute adjustments to make before the show begins.’ Ash stubbed his cigarette out.

‘So I’ll go get myself a coffee and we’ll meet for briefing in 30 minutes outside bus.’ Kim mocked.

‘Yeah you got it sparky. See ya in a bizzle.’ Ash winked and headed back inside leaving Kim to make her way back over to the bus.

As she put her cigarette out she spotted Ash’s radio on the box next to where he was standing.

‘Dam fool, he’d forget his head if it wasn’t screwed on.’ She laughed and picked the radio up ready to chase him down.

Back inside she couldn’t spot him, he was like a whippet once he got going. Kim thought.

Looking around she could see AJ and Josh talking to a crowd of girls who hung on his every word and headed down in that direction.
As she passed she gave AJ a quick wave before disappearing behind the stage.

There was a lot going on people wondering around with clothes, guys performing security checks and dancers stretching up walls.
As Kim delved further into the circus she spotted Jen and Q talking on their phones, she waved over and they both smiled and Jenn waved her over.

Jenn hugged her as soon as she reached them and Q went in for a high 5.

‘Where you been hiding?’ Jenn asked hanging up her call.

‘Nowhere it’s just been so busy hasn’t Kim.’ Kim lied hoping Jenn didn’t know the full story.

‘It’s good to see you, we wasn’t sure if you’d come back after, you know.’ Jenn smiled.

‘Yeah its good be back doing it all again.’ Kim lied again.

‘So I’m guessing you and Nick haven’t spoken?’ Jenn’s tone had changed to a soft and light one rather than her usual loud out spoken way.

Kim shook her head not wanting to go any further with that conversation.

‘I’m sorry.’ Jenn grabbed Kim and pulled her in for a tight hug.

‘It’s Ok honestly, I’m fine.’ Kim continued to lie.

‘Oh you’re so brave; I honestly don’t how you’re doing it.’ Jenn continued to warble on but Kim’s attention was drawn to the end of the corridor where Nick’s girlfriend was loudly giggling with Howie and his wife.

Both Howie and Leigh spotted Kim with Jenn and smiled and waved but Kim could tell they were uneasy as Lauren looked at her then turned to Leigh obviously asking who Kim was because she instantly looked back with a narrowed I’m watching you kind of look on her face.

Nick then walked through the door instantly feeling the tension as he spotted Kim down the corridor and everyone looking at her.
Nick swallowed hard trying to clear his dry throat and embarrassingly smiled down to Kim.

Like a hawk Lauren spotted the smile and wrapped an arm around her man, stating her claim.

‘Well, this is awkward!’ She spoke with a high pitched strong LA accent like everything rhymed.

Kim turned back to Jenn. ‘So I gotta go find Ash and Erm, give him back this,’ she waved the radio in Jenn’s face. ‘So Erm. Yeah, I’ll see you around then.’

She smiled at Jenn and Q and as quick as she could turned on her heels to get the hell out of there.


Nick chewed on the side of his check beginning to feel like a complete ass as Lauren pulled him tighter into her body.