As It Turns Out... by Pengi
Summary:


When I was nineteen, I owned the world... This morning, I woke up under the pier, wrapped in a city-issued blanket. As it turns out, owning the world means nothing when you're stupid enough to toss it all away.

Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: Group, Nick
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Death
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 26 Completed: Yes Word count: 20827 Read: 44122 Published: 08/20/10 Updated: 08/22/10
Chapter Eighteen by Pengi
I could have called Brian to tell him what I wanted to say, but I wanted to see him. And I needed time to clear my head and to shed the past, to leave the fall and the past three years behind me. So, at 4:00 in the afternoon, I started walking.

Every step I took felt as though I were leaving a little piece of it behind me. Each footprint that I left in the dirt on the road felt like it was keeping some of the guilt and shame, some of the pain and humiliation, like I was being stripped of the identity that I'd forged for myself.

Just as shearing the hair had unlocked a part of me, every mile I covered unearthed another layer of my heart that I'd stowed away somewhere deep within. I was rediscovering a man inside me that believed in hope, that believed in love, that believed in life... that believed life was worth living.
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