“Claire, sweetie, we need to talk to you. Will you come in here please?” my mother called out.

My brother Jasen was off at school and Amber had taken Tyler and Tristanne to the park.

When I walked into the family room I saw that my Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold were there as well. It was strange that I hadn’t heard them drive up.

“What’s up?” I asked, sitting in my favorite chair.

“Well,” my dad began. “There’s something we need to tell you.”

“What is it?” I was still calm. They were probably going to tell me that they were going on a trip and I was stuck babysitting. Again. Like last time.

“Well sweetie,” my mom always called me ‘sweetie’ when she was about to drop a bomb on me. “Your father and I aren’t your biological parents. Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold are.”

For a moment I thought they were joking, but no one was laughing.

“But…but…” I couldn’t form a coherent thought so, I bolted.

When I reached my car I snatched the key from my pocket and shoved it into the lock. I was glad I hadn’t removed my school bags after class Friday; it made it easier to escape.

I drove around aimlessly for a while and then decided to go to “the spot.”

“The spot” was a place my cousin--no, my brother Brian--had shown me a few years ago. It was nice for when you needed to think.

I wasn’t alone for long.

“Claire?” Brian’s voice called. I was up a tree so he couldn’t immediately see me. “Claire, I saw your car. I know you’re here.”

“Well geez Bri, you take all the fun out of pretending to be a monkey,” I huffed, jumping from my branch to the ground next to him.

“We need to talk,” he said.

“So they told you too huh?”

“They did,” he said, sitting next to me under my monkey tree. “What do you think about it?”

I took a deep breath and hit him with the truth. “I think I’ve always known. Look at me. I look almost exactly like you, only I have great boobs,” we laughed. “But the whole being lied to my entire life? So not cool. And if everyone was happy with the way things were, why tell us now?”

“Well, Aunt Lisa and Uncle Mark are moving back to Texas. Mom and dad want you to stay here in Lexington.”

“When are they leaving?”

“When school gets out.’

“Does Jase know?” Jasen was nineteen and went to the University of Kentucky. I thought for a moment. “How many people and who exactly knew I wasn’t a Shay?”

“Jasen know. Both things. Uh. Grandma and grandpa. Both sets. Our big brother Harold. Family mostly. A few friends. I’m not exactly sure.”

“Well that’s reassuring,” I said sarcastically, while I thought, ‘What if my friends have known our entire lives and NEVER told me?’

“I can’t pretend to understand WHY they did what they did, well, I CAN understand why in the beginning, but I don’t understand why it was left the way it was. But I have to admit, I’m happy they did tell us. I’ve always wanted a little sister.”

For some reason Brian’s statement about always wanting a sister and his subsequent hug made me cry. And the crying made him hug me harder.

“So,” he began after I stopped crying. “Will you stay? Because if you do, I have an idea to make your summer way fun.”

I thought for a few minutes. “What is your idea for my “summer of fun?”?” I questioned.

“I’m not telling until you do,” he teased.

I made my decision pretty quickly. Afterall, I had missed out on a lifetime of knowing my parents. Sure, I KNEW them but I didn’t know them as my parents.

“I’ll stay,” I told my new found brother.

He grinned, grabbed my hand and made me run back to my car.

“We have to tell them right away. ESPECIALLY if you want your summer to be awesome ‘cause we’ll have to convince them it’s a good idea.”

Brian’s “good-idea-for-Claire’s-tons-of-fun-summer” turned out to be fairly easy to convince all parents involved of. They thought it would be good for Brian and Claire to spend time together now that they knew they were siblings.

And that’s how Claire found herself on a tour bus in the middle of Wisconsin. In June.

Aj, one of Brian’s bandmates, was watching Claire closely again. Or maybe ‘staring at’ was a better phrase to use. Claire had noticed him doing so and had begun teasing him that she was writing juicy stories about him so she could sell them to the highest bidder when their band hit the uber-fame they were hurtling toward.

“You’d better not be Claire,” he whined. At eighteen Aj sometimes whined worse that sixteen year old Nick.

“What’s it to you if I AM Alexander?” Claire goaded. She’d found out soon after the tour began that Aj didn’t like being called by his first name which was Alexander. Claire had called him nothing else since that tidbit of info had landed on her ears.

“I told you to STOP calling me that Clarice.”

Claire hated her first name and Aj knew it. “Shut up Alexander.”

“BRIAN! She’s doing it again!” he shouted.

Brian walked forward, coming from the back of the bus. “Don’t make me separate the two of you,” he warned.

“All I was doing was sitting here writing. Aj asked me what I was doing so I told him. It’s not my fault if he didn’t like my answer,” Claire told her brother.

“She’s driving me insane Rok. Why’d you have to bring her? Why?” Aj fell dramatically into the couch cushions, earning a giggle from Claire.

Aj cracked a smile at the sound of the giggle.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Can you two behave for ten more minutes? I’m trying to write a letter.”

Claire and Aj nodded, both having no intention whatsoever of behaving.

Brian, sensing this, said, “At least be quiet if you kill one another.”

As he retreated to the back of the bus once more, both Claire and Aj called out, “Tell Leighanne HI!!” and broke out into a fit of giggles.

After a few minutes, Claire picked up her pen and put it back to paper.

“What are you really writing?” Aj asked quietly.

“An essay.”

“An essay?” he questioned.

“Yes. An essay. My creative writing teacher for junior year assigned it before the school year we just finished ended,” Claire explained.

“So you’re doing homework?”

“Yes.”

“You’re on summer break, on tour with the Backstreet Boys and you’re doing homework?”

“Yes,” Claire repeated.

“BRIAN!” Aj shouted at full volume. “YOUR SISTER IS BEYOND INSANE!!”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Daytime didn’t much bother Claire.; there was always something to do. Whether it be annoy the hell out of Aj, read, work on the essays or watch the scenery go by, she was always doing something.

Nighttime was when it really go to her. She was still having issues with the bombshell that had been dropped on her and Brian not to long ago. Sure, she put on a happy face and acted like nothing was wrong but deep down, the whole thing had her feeling out of sorts.

Claire didn’t like the feeling; she hated when it felt like everything was beyond her control. There had to be something she could control. She’d been thinking about anorexia. Well, not actually becoming anorexic, but the throwing up part. However, Claire didn’t like the sensations that throwing up caused and knowing that she had willingly made herself do so didn’t seem like much fun. Besides, she loved food. Especially when she was eating it.

The thing she had settled on doing was something Claire had sworn to NEVER do. She had a friend in Lexington who did it. And that friend had confessed that she would never stop, no matter how much Claire begged her to.

She didn’t relish the thought of pain but her friend had assured her that the pain didn’t last long.

Claire climbed down from her bunk (why Brian got the actual bed she’d never understand. Shouldn’t she Claire, as the only girl, get the bed?) and crept silently to the bathroom.

She bent and reached under the sink for the box of tampons she had there. Claire believed this was the prefect hiding spot because the guys wouldn’t touch them.

She pulled out the razor blade she’d hidden a few days previously and set it on the side of the sink. Claire then turned to make sure there was a towel nearby; she didn’t want to get blood everywhere.

Claire braced herself against the sink and took a few deep breaths. Then she picked up the razor blade and rinsed it under the hottest water she could stand.

Claire press the blade to the skin of her left wrist and quickly dragged it across.

She whimpered a bit when she bent her head to inspect the cut. It was kinda deep but not enough to where she would have to confess and go to the hospital for stitches.

Claire rinsed the blade once again and transferred it to her left hand. She placed it against her right wrist.

She had barely begun to drag the blade across her wrist when the door flung open.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Aj half yelled, half whispered.

Claire looked him in the face and then down at her wrists. She flung the blade as far away from herself as she could in the small bathroom and burst into tears.

Aj made her sit down on the closed lid of the toilet and grabbed a towel. He wrapped it around both of her wrists and held it tightly in place.

Claire just cried. After a few minutes, Aj gently unwrapped the towel from her wrists.

“Oh thank goodness,” he breathed, sounding relieved when he saw that the bleeding had stopped.

Claire didn’t stop to think twice about what she did next and threw her arms around Aj’s neck. She buried her face into his shoulder and cried harder.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. She liked the feeling his arms around her gave her; it made her feel…safe.

“Honey,” he whispered in her ear. “What happened to you? What made you do this? And why didn’t you talk to someone?”

It was a few minutes before Claire had calmed down enough to answer.

“Please don’t tell my brother,” was the first thing she said. “He’ll make me go home and it’ll be ten times worse there.”

Aj squeezed her tight again and then asked, “Why?”

“Because my parents are there. And they aren’t there. What did Brian and Kevin tell you guys about me anyway?”

Claire sat back, removing her head and arms from Aj. She moved her arms to her waist and squeezed herself tightly, as if she were trying to keep from falling apart.

“Not much,” he replied, sitting against the shower door. “Just that you were Brian’s baby sister and that it was a long story and not to ask you about it.”


“Do you want to hear the story?” Claire asked him.

“If it will help me understand why you just cut, then yes.”

“I was born January 29th, 1980. The day before, Brian had fallen off his bike and hit his head. Our mom was eight and a half months pregnant at the time,” jumping right into the story was a good idea. It would help her get it all out before she had time to stop and think about it. “the night Brian got hurt, the doctors told our parents that they needed to prepare themselves for the worst because they didn’t think he’d make it,” she shuddered. “The stress of possibly having to bury her almost five year old son was a bit too much and mom went into labor. I was a bit early but otherwise I was perfect. They tried to keep me at home. But the stress of taking care of a newborn, Harold and having a son in the hospital was just too much. So my mom asked her sister Lena and her husband to look after me, just until things with Brian settled down. Brian got better and was finally able to go home. I was already five months old. I was well adjusted where I was. For some reason, my being well adjusted translated into my being left at Aunt Lena’s with her as my mother and Uncle Mark as my dad. No one breathed a word about this to anyone, to me or to Brian until the February of this year. And they only told us because Uncle Mark and Aunt Lena were moving to Texas and mom and dad wanted me to stay in Lexington. All of my life I was lied to…” she broke off, unsure of how to continue.

Aj got up and hugged Claire once more. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry,” he paused too. “But still, it doesn’t explain-”

“My cutting?” she finished for him. He nodded. “I k now it doesn’t. I’m still having a hard time understanding why they did that to us. I mean, I love that Brian’s my big brother, but I’m still having a hard time with it. I’ve been feeling out of sorts lately because of it. It just feels like everything’s out of my control and I don’t like that. It’s my life and I should be in control. I NEEDED there to be something that I could take control of, and since I don’t like throwing up, cutting seemed like a good idea.”

“Claire,” Aj said, sounding a bit angry. “Cutting is NEVER a good idea. NEVER.”

“I know,” she said, as tears began falling once again. “It’s not like I actually PLANNED on ever becoming a cutter.”

Quite seriously he took her face in his hands and said, “I’m not going to tell your brother, even though I should, but you have to promise me something.”

Claire nodded in acceptance.

“You have to promise that next time you feel this way, like you’re not in control, you’ll come talk to me. I don’t care if it’s three am and I’m sleeping. WAKE ME UP. Just talk to me. I don’t want you hurting yourself again,” he leaned his forehead against hers. “And to make sure you DON’T cut again, you have to show me your arms before you go to bed every night from now to the end of tour. Because if you don’t or if I see a fresh cut, I WILL tell Brian.”

“I promise. I promise both things.”

Claire was glad Aj had caught her before the cutting had become out of control, the way it was with her friend; she was glad he cared enough.

“We need to celebrate,” Aj said, collapsing into the comfy looking chair next to Claire.

“What do you mean?” she asked, looking up from the book in her lap.

“Well it’s been two weeks,” he told her.

Claire didn’t have to ask what he meant of course. She already knew. “But two weeks isn’t anything to celebrate. Not really.”

“Oh but it is Claire,” Aj insisted.

“Not really,” she sighed. “I mean, what I did two weeks ago isn’t something I really care to remember. Even if I did make sure I’d never forget.”

She absentmindedly rubbed her wrists. They were healing nicely but the scars would remain forever.

“Claire, you told me about your friend Ronny. About how she can barely make it through a class period without asking for a bathroom pass so she can go cut. You’ve gone two whole weeks without cutting. And that, my dear, IS something worth celebrating.”

“Ok, ok,” Claire relented, smiling. “Let’s celebrate.”

Aj clapped his hands together once. “YES,” he said. “Be ready tomorrow at six. I’m taking you out.”

And with a brief one armed hug accompanied by a brilliant smile, Aj left the room.
*~*~*~*~~*~*

Claire had no idea where Aj was taking her so she didn’t know how she should dress.

So of course she went with her favorite thing to wear. You could NEVER go wrong with purple and sparkly, ESPECIALLY when it was a sparkly purple sundress and matching sandals.

Her blonde hair was pulled back into a loose French braid that fell over her left shoulder.

Claire had just finished putting on some lip gloss when there was a knock on at the door.

With a last glance in the mirror, Claire smiled and went to open her hotel room door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“You look lovely,” Aj said, for at least the seventh time since leaving the hotel.

They had snuck out. Well, not really. But Claire’s brother and cousin, who were well occupied as their girlfriends had now joined the tour, didn’t know she’d left.

One person DID know they’d gone. Aj had told him mom, Denise, that they were going out just incase someone came looking.

“Thank you…again,” Claire smiled. She was fast getting the feeling that this little “celebration” was a date. A DATE date.
Their cab pulled up to a small restaurant called VILLAS and Aj held her door open before paying the cab driver.

Once inside they were seated immediately and given menus to pursue.

Claire almost squealed when she saw that the entire menu was Mexican food. Her absolute favorite was on the menu.

“I love Mexican food,” she sighed happily.

“I remembered,” he told her. “You mentioned it a few weeks ago.”

That small confession made her smile; she hadn’t thought he’d been listening.

Their waiter brought their drinks and left promising a quick return with their food.

“What’s your favorite Disney movie?” Claire questioned.

“Snow White,” he didn’t look the least bit embarrassed by this confession the way some guys might have been. “What’s yours?”

“Aladdin. And not just ‘cause Kevin played him at Disney World.”

Aj chuckled. The fact that Kevin had played Aladdin just a short time ago still made him laugh.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I’m serious!” Claire laughed. “Those were the best tamales in the world.”

Aj nodded his head, like he wasn’t actually agreeing but more like he was acknowledging her right to make that statement.

They were walking to their second destination which was just down the street from VILLAS.

“Bowling?” she asked, walking through the door Aj held open.

“You’ll see,” he said. “You’ll see.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Ok. This is weird.”

They were at a bowling alley but the way the bowling worked was odd.

Each pin was color coded and whichever color you knocked down first was automatically sprayed on to a small canvas at the end of the lane. Each following color came with a few options such as, did you want to use it? What angle should it be shot from and how much of the paint to use.

“But it’s fun,” she giggled as Aj knocked down his first pin. The base color of his paint splattered canvas would be pink.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Too bad we couldn’t play again. That was fun,” Claire said as they left the bowling alley. They’d tried to play again but the line for the place was out the the door so they hadn’t been able to.

It was nearing nine thirty when Aj asked, “Do you mind stopping for ice cream before we head back?”

“Ice cream sounds good.”

There was an ice cream shop a few blocks from the hotel so that’s where they had the cab driver drop them.

As they sat down at an outside table, Claire spoke.

“I had a lot of fun tonight. Thank you for suggesting we celebrate.”

“You’re welcome,” Aj smiled. “I have a confession to make.”

“Oh?” Claire asked, taking a bit of the rainbow sherbet from the cone she held.

“I suggested we celebrate tonight because I really wanted to go out with you.”

Claire blushed. “Well, why didn’t you just ask me out on a date before then?”

“I tried to. But I could never find the courage to do it.”

“Awww. Well, for future reference, just ask, I’ll say yes.”

“That’s good to know,” he smiled.

They finished their ice cream in silence and rose from the table upon being told that the shop was closing.

Aj transferred his bowling alley painting to his right hand. He grabbed Claire’s hand with his unoccupied hand and laced his fingers through hers.

They both remained silent until they got on the elevator.

“I like you Claire.”

“Well I like you too,” she replied.

“You don’t understand Claire. When I say I like you, I REALLY like youClaire was watching him silently. She sighed contentedly when she felt his lips against hers.

Aj leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, “will you be my girlfriend?”

Claire smiled. “Of course,” she answered.

Her reward was another kiss.

When the elevator doors opened, Brian was waiting for them. “Where have you been?!?!”

“Relax Bri,” Claire said, discreetly dropping the hand she held. “We just went to dinner and then bowling. If you would have asked Denise you would have known.”

“Next time, tell me or Kevin you’re leaving.”

“I will. Promise.”

Brian gave Aj and Claire one last glance and trotted back to his room.

Claire and Aj walked the opposite way down the hall from the elevators to Claire’s room.

Once inside, Aj kissed her as he had in the elevator.

When they broke apart, Claire sank to the bed and Aj took the chair.

They both started talking at the same time. “You go first,” Aj insisted.

“Ok, I don’t think we should tell my brother, or my cousin for that matter, about us just yet.”

Claire was looking him straight in the face to judge his reaction.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “I was going to suggest the same thing.”

“You’re not mad?” she asked.

“Goodness no. why would I be? I do think Brian and Kevin would come unglued on me if they knew.”

Claire smiled, relieved. “We WILL tell them. Maybe when this leg of the tour is over. But for now, I’ll stay a secret. IT’LL stay a secret.”

Aj chuckled. “You’re an “official” Backstreet Girl now. A Secret Backstreet Girl.”

Claire laughed at that. “You make me sound like some sort of secret agent. I like that.”

“Isn’t your mom right next door?” Claire whispered.

“Yeah but she’s out for the night,” her boyfriend whispered back.

Claire and Aj had been dating, albeit in secret, for three weeks now. They actually managed dates out a few times a week without anyone but Denise getting suspicious. Most nights though, they spent in Aj’s room (or Claire’s, it just depended on if Aj was sharing a room) watching a movie, playing cards or just talking; it was rather nice.

This particular night was movie night and they were both sitting cross legged on Aj’s bed.

“I am NOT watching Mega Sumo Wrestling!” Claire stated.

“But it’s funny!” Aj told her.

She crossed her arms. “Nope.”

“Fine. What do you want to watch?”

She surfed through the menu and asked, “L, C or A?”

“C. Why?”

“Cinderella it is!” Claire squealed and Aj groaned.

“Aw come on! Not Disney.”

“Have you ever watched Cinderella?” Claire questioned.

“”No.”

“That settles it. We’re watching Cinderella.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man. There was an earthquake. And it wasn’t stopping because Claire kept shaking.

“Claire sweetie, wake up,” the earthquake said.

Wait--earthquakes didn’t talk. She opened her eyes to find Denise, Aj’s mom, shaking her shoulder.

“Denise, what’re you doing in my room?” Claire asked, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

She saw Aj sleeping beside her and groaned. “Oh man,” she shoved Aj sideways. “Why’d you let me fall asleep?!”

“Wassgoinon?” Aj mumbled through his rude awakening.

“You let me fall asleep!” Claire whined. “Brian’s gonna be PISSED.”

“He doesn’t know, he asked me to tell you he and Leighanne were going for an early breakfast and that they’ll stop by when they get back,” Denise told Claire.

Claire sighed. “That’s good. I’m going back to my room.”

She got out of bed and put her slippers on. “I’ll see you guys later.”

Denise stopped her at the door. “Why don’t you and I go out today?” she asked. “We’ll have a girls day while the Boys are doing today’s interviews.”

“That sounds like fun,” Claire told her. “I could use a girly day. I’ve been around the guys too much.”

“Ok, we’ll meet in the lobby at noon and go for lunch first.”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then. ‘Bye J!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Claire and Denise were seated in a little restaurant called “La Beya” going over menus.

“Diet coke please,” Claire told the waitress when asked for her drink order.

“Make those two diets please,” Denise said.

“Sure thing. I’ll be right back with them.”

They sat in silence while waiting for Mona, the waitress, to bring their drinks. Claire got the feeling that there was something Denise wanted to talk about.

They placed their food orders and drank their soda slowly while looking around the room.

Denise still looked a bit troubled so Claire asked, “Denise, is there something you want to talk about?”

Denise swallowed and sat her glass back down on the table. “Actually,” she said. “There is.”

“What is it?”

Before Denise could elaborate, Mona returned with their food.

After a few bites, Claire said, “You were saying?”

“Oh. Yes. I wanted to know why you were in my son’s room this morning.”

Claire was almost certain this wasn’t what she really wanted to say. “We were watching Cinderella last night. I guess we fell asleep.”

“But why were you with him in the first place? I’ve noticed you two spending a lot of time together lately.”

“Well, it was kind of…a date,” Claire confessed.

Denise’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Claire nodded.

“Are you dating my son?” she asked.

“Yes, but my brother doesn’t know and I’d rather he didn’t find out just yet if that’s okay with you.”

Denise nodded, saying, “You guys will tell everyone when you’re ready to. How long?”

“Three weeks and thank you.”

They finished eating and headed to the mall.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They were resting and drinking Starbucks in the food court when Claire noticed the look Denise was giving her. She’s only seen the look twice before, once when she was eleven and had started her period and then right before she left on tour. Claire hoped it didn’t mean what she thought it meant.

Denise took a deep breath and began, “Claire, I don’t know if your mothers (Denise knew Claire’s background) have talked to you about this so I’m going to.”

Claire thought about interrupting Denise but thought it would seem rude, so, even though she’d already had “the TALK” twice before, she let Denise continue. Hopefully, there’d be an opening for Claire to say that she’d already heard this.

“You’re at the age when you’ll start feeling different about boys. You’ll want to do things you never thought you’d ever want to do. And it’s quite possible that boys will try to get you to do things with them; if you don’t want to do those things, don’t. Make sure that you don’t let them touch you inappropriately, because, if teenage boys are still the same as they were when I was a teen, they will try,” Denise paused and took a breath. “But if you become,” it looked like the next word was painful for her to say. “Sexually active, make sure you protect yourself. Use condoms and birth control if you have it. If you have neither, no sex.”

Claire was sure her face was redder than a brand-new crayon, even if said crayon had never left the box.

“Denise,” Claire said, unsure of how to continue. “I probably should’ve told you this when you started talking but my mom, both of them, have already had this chat with me.”

Denise looked a bit relieved. However, she added, “Just one more thing and we’ll get back to shopping. If you and my son, um, sleep together, please make sure you’re safe. I don’t want to have to explain to your parents why their sixteen year old came home pregnant.”

“We’re not sleeping together. I promise. I don’t plan on having sex until I’m married. So we don’t have to worry about any surprises,” Claire told her.

Denise got up to throw their trash away and Claire said aloud to herself, “Nothing could possibly be more embarrassing than getting the sex talk from your boyfriend’s mother now could it?”

The banging on the door woke Claire up. She snuggled in closer and felt the arms around her tighten. She kept her eyes closed and tried to go back to sleep.

Then she heard the voice. It was Brian and he sounded beyond angry.

“Brian, hush,” it was Howie. “You’ll wake them.”

“That’s the point Howard,” Brian sounded like he wanted to hit someone.

The door handle rattled and Claire opened her eyes and looked at the door. Then she glanced at Aj next to her. She didn’t see how he was still out because her brother was making a lot of noise.

A new voice joined the two outside the door. “Here’s the key.” Nick. The traitor had probably told Brian about catching her and Aj kissing before the show a few days ago. Man, the kid was gonna get it.

Claire snuggled in even closer, closed her eyes and willed her breathing to slow so the men who were about to come in wouldn’t know she was awake.

Brian, Howie and Nick stopped just inside the door. “Aw. How cute do they look?” Howie stated.

Claire wanted to laugh. She cracked her eyes and watched. Brian looked really angry, Nick looked unconcerned and Howie looked bored.

They stood in the doorway, just watching until a fourth person joined them. Claire’s brother turned to face their cousin.

“I told you Kev. I told you.”

“Brian, calm down. I’m sure there’s a reason for this. They probably just fell asleep watching a movie.”

Claire watched Brian open his mouth to speak but Kevin held his hand out.

“Go,” he said. “We’re ALL going to go. I’ll come back in a little while and talk to them.”

Kevin stayed behind, watching the others leave. He then turned back and said quietly, “There HAD better be a good explanation for this Clairebear.”

Claire shut her eyes tight until she heard the door click closed. How had Kevin known she was awake?

The shirt she was wearing she’d stolen from her brother Andrew. It was big and comfy to sleep in. Claire was a bit shocked to find her pants off. But when she looked over the edge of the bed, they were sitting on the floor. She must’ve gotten up in the middle of the night and taken them off. Claire grabbed them and hurried to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, she emerged, fresh faced and wearing pants. She again marveled at how Aj had been able to sleep through the noise.

Claire did what anyone would’ve done; she lay on the bed on her stomach and stared at Aj until he woke up.

“Geez Claire,” he laughed, leaning over to kiss her good morning.

She backed away. “We had company a few minutes ago.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Aj said, in lieu of offering a ‘good morning’. Then as if barely realizing she was there he added, “Why ARE you in my room?”

“We fell asleep watching the movie.”

“So who was the company you speak of?”

“My very angry big brother; Kevin promised he’s come back to “talk” to us. He’ll probably be here any minute.”

As soon as the words left her lips there was a knock on the door. Claire whispered to AJ, “You go put some clothes on and I’ll stall Kevy.”

As Aj walked into the bathroom with his clothes, Claire got up and looked out the peephole.

“Yes?” she said aloud. “Who are you?”

“Cut it Claire and open the door,” Kevin sounded a bit mad.

“Fine. Don’t play along then,” she sulked as she opened the door.

Kevin practically shoved her aside and started pacing. “Where’s the weasel?”

“Don’t call him a weasel!”

Kevin opened his mouth to reply but the bathroom door opened and he turned to it.

When he saw Aj he stopped mid-pace and stalked over to him.

Aj was pretty tall but her cousin was taller. Claire silently walked over and placed herself between the two men.

Kevin absolutely towered over her but Claire wasn’t intimidated. “I won’t let you hurt him Kevin.”

“Claire,” Aj said quietly. “Maybe you should go back to your room. I can handle Kevin.”

She turned to look at him. “No,” she said. “I’m not gonna leave. He might hit you and I like you too much to let him do it.”

Turning once more, this time to face her cousin, Claire said, “Go sit. Then we can talk,’’ she pointed to a chair across the room.

Kevin reluctantly went to sit down and watched like a hawk as Aj and Claire sat next to one another at the head of the bed.

To goad her cousin a bit, but mostly because she liked doing it, Claire grabbed Aj’s hand and laced her fingers through his. The look on Kevin’s face said his suspicions were now confirmed.

No one spoke; the phrase ‘if looks could kill’ pretty much defined the moment.

Aj bravely cleared his throat. “So,” he began.

That was all it took for Kevin to explode. He started yelling.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO THINKING?!” he started pacing again. “HOW THE HELL CAN YOU EVEN THINK OF SLEEPING TOGETHER WITH BRIAN RIGHTEXT DOOR?!”

“We didn’t sleep together!” Claire defended. “Well technically we did. But SLEEP is ALL we did. We conked out watching James and the Giant Peach.”

“Claire’s right Kev,” Aj spoke. “I wouldn’t do that, not to you, not to Brian and not to Claire. I like her too much.”

Claire smiled. “I promise Kevvers. We didn’t do a thing aside from watch JGP and fall asleep.”

Kevin looked like he didn’t believe a word out of their mouths. “Are you sure?” he asked, sounding a bit defeated.

“Believe me Kevin. I would know if I had had sex last night or not,” Claire told him.

Aj snorted and Kevin glanced at him with a semi-murderous gleam in his eye. Then he looked at Claire and seemed relieved.

“What’s the story behind this?” he asked, pointing to the two of them. “And why do you keep hiding your arms?”

“Well,” Claire said. “Do you want the whole story or do you want the short version?”

“The whole story. And again, what’s up with hiding your arms?”

Aj was smirking; Claire hadn’t told anyone about what she had done. He knew she didn’t want to tell anyone but didn’t see a way out of it.

“It’s part of the story,’’ Aj told him.

“Start talking Claire.”

“So at the beginning of the tour I was still having issues with the whole “you’re-really-Brian’s-baby-sister” thing,” Claire began. “And I felt like everything was out of control so I did something really stupid. I didn’t know Aj was still awake and I definitely didn’t know he was watching me. I guess I didn’t shut the bathroom door all the way because after I cut my right wrist the door flew open…”

Claire stopped talking when she saw the look on her cousin’s face.

“You cut yourself?!” he half-shouted.

She showed him her wrists. Two long, thinish, jagged pink puckered scars ran almost from the inside of her elbow to her wrist. She usually kept them covered with her liquid foundation so no one could see them. “I only did it once. And you guys don’t see the scars because I use make up to cover them.”

Kevin looked livid. “Back to the story,” he demanded. “We’ll discuss the cutting later.”

“Well Aj was freaked out. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around both my arms. Then he drug me to the lounge on the bus and made me tell him everything. Which I did. He made me promise that if I ever felt out of control again I’d talk to him. And he makes me show him my arms every night so he can make sure I haven’t cut again. The reason I came to his room last night is because I couldn’t sleep. Aj’s a great person to talk to when you need it. I guess the bond we’ve formed because of what happened is pretty tight. To me, it only seemed natural that it would lead to the two of us dating.”

Kevin looked at Aj and said, “Thank you for helping her.”

To Claire he said, “You know your brother is not going to be happy about this. So please, don’t,” he seemed to be searching for the right word. “Flaunt it in front of him.”

Claire and Aj both assured him they wouldn’t.

Kevin’s parting words, “Just be careful ok?” seemed as close to a blessing for them to continue their now not-so-secret relationship as they were going to get.

Claire missed her boyfriend, which was a bit weird because they were still spending plenty of time together.

 

 

 

At least they were spending plenty of time together in company of others. Brian had mad e it difficult for them to have any alone time. But when he got to be too much Claire would appeal to Kevin, who would tell Brain to cool it and let them go off on their own for a bit.

 

However, Brian would soon get his wish for them to be separated. The Boys would be heading to Europe soon to continue their tour and would be gone until Christmas and Claire was going back home to Kentucky.

 

 

 

Claire wanted to go to Europe with them but everyone was against it, even Aj. One of the main reasons they didn’t want her to go was school.

 

 

 

They had all told her, “You have to go to school Claire,” except Nick. He wasn’t going to school himself so her skipping didn’t bother him.

 

 

 

Another strike against her was her parents. They were really the main force behind her not going. And the last thing against her was that she didn’t have the time to procure a passport. So Claire was going home and back to a “normal” life. Or a life as normal as she could manage being the sister of a Backstreet Boy and the girlfriend of another.

 

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

 

“I’ll hide in your suitcase,” Claire declared. “I think I’ll fit.”

 

 

 

Aj laughed. He was packing, they would be setting off for California and the last three shows of the tour in a half hour.

 

 

 

Claire silently piled the folded clothing on the bed and sat cross legged in the suitcase.

 

 

 

Aj came out of the bathroom, took one look at her and laughed.

 

 

 

“I told you I’d fit,” she said, spreading her arms out.

 

 

 

He walked over to her and put his hands on her cheeks and said, “Sweetheart, you know I’d love for you to come along to Europe. But you also know you can’t. You have to go home because you have to finish school. Your parents need you at home. We’ve e gone over this before. And besides, if you don’t go I’ll just have to get you awesome presents wherever we go.”

 

Claire was about to reply when there was a knock at the door. Aj went to answer it and Claire stayed where she was, moving only to cross her arms.

 

 

 

When he returned, Aj was followed by Brian’s girlfriend Samantha, who giggled when she saw Claire.

 

 

 

“Come on dear, Brian wants to go down to the bus already.”

 

“Ugh,” Claire said, finally removing herself from Ad’s suitcase. “I guess I have to go.”

 

 

 

She put the clothes back, hugged Aj and set off with Samantha.

 

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

 

The buses had stopped to refuel and so everyone could grab food and stretch their legs.

 

 

 

They still had a lot of ground to cover, most of which would be gone over night.

 

 

 

The bus Claire was on had become really crowded. Not only were Brian and Samantha on it, but Kevin and his girlfriend Kristin had joined them. Claire had a plan to escape the monkey cage though.

 

 

 

“Oh Brian, my dear brother,” she called from the door of the bus.

 

“Yes Claire?” he asked.

 

 

 

“I have a question for you.”

 

 

 

“Yes?” he repeated.

 

 

 

“Is it ok if I ride the rest of the way to California with Howie and Aj?”

 

 

 

“No.”

 

 

 

“Brian, come on! Do you really think Howie will let Aj and I do anything? Besides Kev, he’s the most responsible person on this tour!” Claire whined. Brian knew she was right and she wasn’t going to shut up until she got her way.

 

 

 

“No Claire.”

 

 

 

“But Brian!”

 

 

 

“Claire, I said no!” Brian said rather sharply.

 

 

 

Claire huffed. Kevin would be on her side. She only had to wait for him to come out of Taco Bell.

 

 

 

When Kevin returned to the bus, he found Claire and Brian giving one another death glares while Samantha and Kristin watched from a window and giggled.

 

 

 

“Alright,” he said, slipping to “dad” mode. “What’s going on?”

 

 

 

Claire turned, “I asked Brian if I could ride the rest of the way to California with Howie and Aj. He’s being a giant weenie and said no.”

 

 

 

Kris and Leigh laughed the hardest yet at Brian being called a weenie.

 

 

 

“Well he does have a point. You’d be on the bus overnight.”

 

 

 

“I know that. Like I told my brother, do you really think Howie, who’s just as responsible as you, would let us get away with anything?”

 

 

 

Kevin turned to Brian and said, “She does have a point. Howie is responsible enough to watch h them.”

 

 

 

“Kevin, Aj is her boyfriend,” Brian shuddered when he said ‘boyfriend’, “Do you really think it’s a good idea for them to be alone? Overnight. On a bus?”

 

 

 

“Brian, we’ve been alone together at night plenty of times the entire tour. If we haven’t done anything by no, which we haven’t, I highly doubt we’d manage to with Howie watching us like a hawk,” Claire told him.

 

She looked at all of them, Kristin and Samantha included. “All I want to do is spend a little time with him. You guys are leaving for Europe soon and I won’t see ANY of you for MONTHS. Please?” She was pleading now.

 

 

 

Brian and Kevin looked at one another, having a silent, private conversation. They looked at Claire, who was now close to crying, and then at their girlfriends. “Ok, you can go with them.”

 

 

 

“Thank you. Thank you.  THANK YOU!” she squealed.

 

 

 

Claire ran onto the bus and grabbed her backpack, as it held things she would need, hugged Brian and Kevin and bounded down the bus stairs and ran over to Aj and Howie’s bus and climbed aboard.

 

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

They were getting ready for their flights the next day. Everyone was doing laundry and running around for last minute items, Claire, on the other hand, was crying again.

 

 

 

Brian, Kevin, Kristin and Samantha had all tried calming her down but nothing they did worked. Aj was taking his turn now.

 

 

 

Aj and Claire were in his and Nick’s hotel room and he had his arms wrapped around her.  “It’ll be alright Claire, I promise.”

 

 

 

Claire shook her head. “You’ll be in Europe. Everyone there is going to be so much more beautiful than I am. Someone else will turn your head.”

 

 

 

“How can you say that honey? Especially after a few nights ago?” he was referring to, of course, the night that he and Claire had spent alone on his and Howie’s bus. Nick had, at last minute, asked Howie to come play video games on his bus and Howie agreed, leaving Claire and Aj alone. “Do you really think I’d even want to look at another girl? And do you honestly think your brother and cousin would let me get away with it if I did? They’d pound me into the ground and you know it.”

 

 

 

Claire giggled feebly. It was true. Brian and Kevin WOULD go after him if he so much as THOUGHT about cheating on her.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry,” she said, sitting on the bed. “I just don’t want to go home. Aside from the fact that I’d get to be with you longer, I’ve never been to Europe and I really wanna go!” Claire was whining (which made her sound childish) but she didn’t care.

 

“Well then,” Aj said. “I’ll just have to take you another time because you have to go home.”

 

 

 

Claire pouted. “I know I do. But I don’t have to like it.”

 

 

 

“I know you don’t,” he said, kissing her forehead. “But you’ll be glad you do.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Everyone had agreed to go out for dinner that night. Three people had voted for a fancy restaurant, but everyone else had been against it; they’d wanted something “fun”. They ended up at a place called In-N-Out.

 

 

 

Claire watched as Nick silently loaded a fry with the sauce from his cheeseburger and launched it a table away from him.

 

 

 

It landed right smack between Brian’s eyes. Michelle and Nick cracked up. It took everyone else a few seconds to realize what had transpired, but then they too joined in on the laughing. 

 

Even Brian laughed.

 

 

 

“You have got to torture Brian for me when you guys are in Europe,” Claire told Nick.

 

 

 

“Oh, don’t worry,” he told her. “I will.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Claire’s flight left an hour and a half before everyone else’s. She wasn’t looking forward to it.

 

 

 

They had been at the airport for an hour now. Claire’s bags had been checked, as had everyone else’s, and they wren waiting together for their flight’s boarding calls to be issued.

 

 

 

Claire and Aj were huddled together, as far away from the others as they could manage.

 

 

 

“I really don’t want to go,” Claire said for what seemed like the millionth time that morning.

 

 

 

“I know sweetheart. I don’t want you to either. But we don’t have a choice in the matter. We both have things we’re off to do. But Christmas and New Years will be here before we know it and we’ll be together again.”

 

 

 

“I guess,” Claire said. “Your mom know’s my parents agreed to let me come visit for New Years doesn’t she?”

 

 

 

“She does. And she can’t wait to whip out all the embarrassing baby and beyond photos,” he laughed.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Claire,” Brian said. “They’re calling your flight.”

 

 

 

She sniffled, she’d been crying again.  “I’m coming,” she told him.

 

 

 

She and Aj had listened when Kevin had told them not to rub their relationship in Brian’s face and hadn’t so much as kissed in front of him (well, not THAT much anyway).

 

 

 

Claire was now fighting the urge to grab hold of her boyfriend and not let go. He was her first serious boyfriend and she’d gotten attached to him rather quickly.

 

 

 

She started to walk to her gate but stopped and looked back at Aj. He looked sad.

 

 

 

“What they hell,” she thought. Claire turned and ran back to him and kissed him in front of everyone. He squeezed her tight and kissed back.

 

 

 

After a moment, Claire let go. She said goodbye to everyone once more and boarded her plane home.

 

 

Claire walked into her first period American History class and was immediately tackled and knocked to the ground.

 

She heard squeals of, “IT’S CLAIRE!!!” before she saw her four best friends.

 

Jenna, Aria, Megan and Stephenie all climbed to their feet and grinned down at her.

 

“A little help would be nice,” she told them, returning the grin.

 

A male hand shot out and Claire grasped it and was hauled back to her feet.

 

“Well Claire, I must say, you look fantastically gorgeous today.”

 

“Thank you Sam, but I’m afraid it still isn’t going to happen,” Claire told her classmate.

 

Sam had been crushin’ on her since their first day at Tate’s Creek as freshmen.

 

“Can’t blame a guy for trying, even if it never works.”

 

“No Sam, you can’t. Did you have a good summer?”

 

“You know it Clairebear.” Everyone called Claire ‘Clairebear’.

 

Before Claire could answer Sam, she was sitting in a desk chair and her friends were claiming her attention.

 

“Where’d you go this summer?”

 

“Why do you look so fantastic?”

 

“How come you have a gorgeous tan?”

 

“Why didn’t you tell us you were leaving?”

 

Claire took a deep breath and answered, “I was travelling with my brother. I always, well not ALWAYS, look fantastic. I was in the sun a lot. Outdoor venus are good for something. And I don’t know. Brian didn’t specifically prohibit me from telling anyone, I just didn’t tell anyone.’

 

All of her friends knew what her brother did for a living but Jenna’s eyes lit up when Claire mentioned Brian. She’d had the biggest crush on Brian ever since Claire’s seventh birthday party when he’d kissed her on the cheek.

 

“YOU WENT ON TOUR WITH THE BACKSTREET BOYS?!?!?!” they shouted as their teacher, Mr. Edwards walked in.

 

“Well, it’s nice to see that the Gorgeous Girls are finally back together, but we need to start class now.”

 

Claire didn’t like Mr. Edwards very much. He was kinda creepy. Plus, he looked at her and her friends (most girls in general really) rather oddly. Claire didn’t like it.

 

Mr. Edwards walked to his desk and said, “I’m sure you were all fascinated by Claire’s summer but it’s time for American History.”

 

He began talking and as he did, he walked around the room. Claire noticed how uncomfortable all the girls in class, Aria in particular, looked as he passed them.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“I love having my mother work in the office,” Stephenie said.

 

Steph’s mom did work in the school office. And every year she managed to have Claire, Aria, Steph, Megan and Jenna in the same classes. Having them all together was actually safer for the students and teachers because if they were in different classes, they tended to get a bit crazy.

 

“Is it just me or did Edwards get uber creepy over the summer?” Claire asked.

 

The girls were sitting at their usual lunch table, discussing their summers and morning classes.

 

“He’s definitely gotten creepier,’ Megan said. “I don’t like him.”

 

“So,” Aria said. “Tell us more about touring this summer.”

 

Claire smiled, this was an easy subject. “What do you want to know?”

 

“Did you have fun? What was your favorite stop? Least favorite stop? Did you kiss any of them? Did you do more than kiss? Who did you kiss? Did you perform with them> did you shop in good places? Where are they now?”

 

Claire took another deep breath and answered her friends as rapidly as they had fired questions at her. “Yes I had fun. My favorite stop was,” she blushed. “Well technically it wasn’t a stop but it was on the way to California. Oakland was my least favorite stop. I did kiss on of them and yes, we did more than kiss. Of course I shopped in good places and they are in Europe getting ready to start the European leg of the tour.”

 

“Who did you do more than kiss with? Tell us woman!” Megan demanded.

 

Claire blushed. No one, not even Brian’s girlfriend Samantha whom Claire was pretty close to knew she had slept with Aj.

 

“Aj,” she answered quietly.

 

The girls whistled. “You lucky bitch. He’s gorgeous.”

 

“I know,” she said. “He also happens to be my boyfriend.”

 

There was more squealing than there had been in the classroom that morning. Heads in the cafeteria were starting to turn to them. They weren’t known as the loudest girls in school for nothing.

 

“Hush, I’d rather not have the entire school find out I’m no longer a virgin just yet.”

 

They instantly shut up. “Tell us more!”

 

“Well,” Claire began. “I talked Brian and Kevin into letting me finish the ride to California on Aj and Howie’s bus. Last minute Nick asked Howie to come to his bus and play video games and Howie went. AJ and I had the bus to ourselves for the night. It was…”

 

She didn’t finish the thought, there really wasn’t a way to describe it.

 

The bell rang, signaling an end to free time and told them to get their butts to class.

 

“You WILL give us more details later,” Aria said as they headed off to gym.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Can I come over?” Aria asked.

 

“Of course. My parents are working so we’ll be alone. You should stay for dinner.”

 

“I will Claire, but first, I really need to talk. I’ll be there in ten okay?”

 

“Sure,” Claire was nervous. Something was really wrong with Aria.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“WHAT?!” Claire yelled. “HE WHAT?!”

 

“he told me to see him after school was out. I told him I had practice so he said to meet him after that. I went to the meeting because I thought I was in trouble,” Aria was balling. “Well, I WAS in trouble just not the kind I thought I was. He made me have sex with him. I told him no and he didn’t listen. And now I think I’m pregnant. I don’t know what to do.”

 

Claire hugged her friend and her mind went to work. There had to be something they could do.

 

“You know,” she said. “Principal Robbinsen lives  next door. We need to speak to him.”

 

“But what if he doesn’t believe me? What if I get in trouble?”

 

“Aria, honey, you won’t be getting in trouble. Edwards will. I know for a fact that Robbinsen has gotten complaints about him before.”

 

Aria shook her head. “I’ll go,” she said. “But I’m not telling him I think I’m pregnant.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Claire led the way next door and knocked. Aria was still crying and Claire was close to it herself.

 

“Claire?” the principal asked, opening her door.

 

“Ma’am, I know you don’t like when students drop by unexpectedly but I figured you wouldn’t mind in this case because it involves a teacher at school.”

 

“A teacher? Miss Mayne are you okay?”

 

Aria, who was now sobbing loudly, shook her head.

 

“Come in, come in. Miss Littrell, I believe you will have to tell me what’s going on. I gather it involves Miss Mayne and she seems unable to talk at the moment.”

 

They sat down in the principal’s living room and Aria attached herself to Claire who hugged her back.

 

Claire watched Principal Robbinsen’s face as she recounted Aria’s story to her. It was very troubled.

 

Principal Robbinsen spoke to Aria, “Miss Mayne, we must call the police. Do you think you can talk to them? It’s very important that you do. Do you wish for your parents to be called?”

 

“Yes. Please call them. I will be able to speak to the police.”

 

Claire heard a change in Aria’s voice. She knew her friend would do what was necessary to get Mr. Edwards in trouble for what he’d done to her. And who knew, he may have done it to other girls who were just too afraid to come forward.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Hey hon,

 

I know I said I’d write before this but it’s been crazy lately. One of our teachers at school now resides I a prison cell. I call him Mr. Creepy Teacher Man. He was just odd and made all the girls in his classes, all the girls he came in contact with actually, extremely uncomfortable. He did something he shouldn’t have to one of his students who happens to be a friend of mine. I think my brother had him as a teacher when he was here. You should ask him. But anyhoo, how’s the tour going? Tell everyone I say hello and sing a song for me. I’d love to write more, but I’ve got a ton of homework to catch up because of what recently happened. So good luck with the rest of the tour.

 

Love ya, Claire.

 

Claire read the letter over and packaged it. Her mom was going to drop it off on her way to Aunt Ann’s. Claire, as she had just written, was staying home to catch up on the zillion homework assignments she’d put off during the recent trial. It was going to take her forever.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“CLAIRE!!!”

 

Claire turned away from her  open locker and saw Aria was running to her. Aria had been seeing a therapist and was making a good recovery.

 

“Yes?” she asked, smiling. Aria was obviously happy about something.

 

“GUESS WHAT!” Aria screamed inches from Claire’s face.

 

“Um. Those flying pigs finally descended from Mt. Olympus and turned your backyard into a zoo full of other worldly creatures?”

 

“No. But that would be so COOL!”

 

“Tell me then.”

 

“I’m not pregnant,” she whispered in Claire’s ear.

 

“That’s awesome.”

 

The friends squealed. “We must celebrate,” Aria said.

 

“Of course. It’s time for our slumber party. We’ll turn it into a celebration.” The friends always had a back-to-school slumber party the end of the first month of school but it had been pushed back this year for obvious reasons.

 

“Awesome. It must be something fun.”

 

“Of course. We always do fun stuff. Well, except for that one time in seventh grade.”

 

They giggled and blushed. “Oh yeah. That was definitely NOT fun.”

 

Jenna, Megan and Steph joined them and the five girls linked arms and skipped of down the hall singing, “We’re off to see the wizard…”

 

 

"So, are you going to prom?" Aria asked.

"I want to but I don't think Alex will be able to," Claire confessed. She didn't like calling him Aj so she called him Alex just like his mom did. She and Aria were hanging out in her bedroom working on a project.  

"Why wouldn't he?"  

 "Tour starts two days after. If I do go to prom I won't be going to Jen's after party because I have a VERY early flight the next day."  

 "You're so lucky," Aria complained. "You get to go on tour. Again."  

 Claire smiled. It had been pretty easy to convince her parents, brother and cousin to let her go again. She'd told them that she planned to keep a diary of things that happened on tour and use the stories as part of her senior project.  

"AND  you get all that alone time with your boyfriend. You officially suck Claire."  

 "You're still coming to the show at Rupp aren't you?"  

"Duh. How could I pass up the opportunity to ogle Nick in person?" Aria laughed.  

"Well then, I'll sneak you backstage and you can ogle him up close and personal." Aria had had a MAJOR crush on Nick ever since she'd answered the phone at Claire's and he'd been the one calling.  

"SERIOUSLY?!?!?!" Claire nodded. "I take it back. You don't suck. You're the most AWESOME friend EVER."  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 "I know I said I'd be able to go with you but I'm just not going to be able to make it," Aj said. "They've scheduled all sorts of extra rehearsals and junk. I'm sorry."  

 Claire was lying on her bed talking to Alex on the phone. They were, of course, talking about prom.  

"It's ok. I kinda figured you'd be really busy and wouldn't be able to go. It's okay, it really is."  

 "You're not mad?"  

"No. Why would I be?"  

 He laughed. "I don't know. I was just worried. You are still going right? You can't miss prom."  

 "I want to. But I don't know who I'll end up going with."  

"I'm sure you'll find someone," Claire could hear the grimace in his voice as he said this.  

 "Whoever it is will be a friend."  

Claire was about to say more but a person shouted in the background. "You'd better go. Whoever just yelled sounded angry. You're probably breaking into rehearsal time. I'll talk to you soon. I love you and have fun."

  "Love ya too."  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 Immediately after hanging up with Alex, Claire had called Aria. They were talking about who Claire could go with when Aria's brother Joey had interrupted them.  

 "Ari, let me talk to Claire."  

 Aria hung up her extention and Joe said, "Hi.

  "Well hi Joey. What do you want to talk about?" Claire asked; she knew that Joey, even though he was a year older, had always had a crush on her. And she may have had a teeny tiny one on him too.  

"Well, I heard my sister's end of the conversation. And I started wondering if you'd go to prom with me?"  

 Claire smiled. "I'd love to," she told him.   They talked a while longer, Aria now forgotten, and worked out the details. They only thing they'd left out was the color of Claire's dress.  

 "Wait!" Joey said, before she hung up. "What color is your dress going to be?"  

"Orange." Besides purple, orange was Claire's favorite color. She had no idea why but she loved it.  

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

"Ok Claire," Jackie, her mom said. "You've literally tried on EVERYsingle dress this place has. This is THE very last one."  

Claire stuck her arm out and her mom draped the dress across it.  

 "Goodie! It's actually orange!" Not many of the discarded dresses had been orange and Claire didn't want to have to send her dress to be dyed.  

 She threw the curtain aside when she had the dress on. "I LOVE IT!! she declared.

 The dress fell to her knees. The bottom hem was studded with rhinestones, as was the rest of the fluffy skirt. The halter style top was outlined with rhinestones. It might look weird to some people, but Claire loved it.   "Alrighty then. Let's get it."  

 

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 "Are you sure you can't stay?" Mrs. Nielley asked. "You're always such fun in class."  

 "Sorry Mrs. Nielley. You're an awesome teacher and all but that tour bus is calling my name," Claire laughed. "But don't worry. I'll be back for senior year."  

 Claire and her parents had set it up with the principal, who was rather fond of both Kevin and Brian, so that she could take her finals two weeks early and leave on time with the tour. She'd just finished the last final which was Mrs.Nielley's history exam. It had actually been sort of fun.

Mrs. Nielley had taken the vacant history teacher position right when the Edwards trial had begun. And like Claire had told her, she was an awesome teacher and everyone loved her.  

"You'll have to share stories with the class when you get back." Claire already knew that Mrs. Nielley would be her Civics/Econ teacher for Senior Year.  

"Oh I will," Claire hugged her and set off for home. Tomorrow was prom and she had a bit of day-before prep to do.  

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 Aria, Jenna, Megan and Stephenie had spent the night at Claire's and now all five girls were in various stages of prom-readiness.

  "Claire your hair is gorgeous."  

 "Thanks." Claire had spent days going through magazines looking at hairstyles before she'd decided to improvise and create one herself. Her hair was parted on the right side and pulled together in a ballerina bun behind her left ear. When the guys showed up she was g oing to put the orange Alstroemeria in it.

  *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  "You look amazing," Joey said, slipping the corsage onto her wrist.  

She smiled. "Thanks. You look pretty good yourself."  

 It took thirty minutes before the moms were satisfied that they had enough pictures.

  "Be careful and have fun!" The five mothers called after their children.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 "Time for the last dance," the lead singer called out.

  The opening notes of "I'll Never Break Your Heart," came through the speakers.

   "I'm surprised," Claire said.

  "Why?"  

"Because they just released this song a few weeks ago and they were able to learn it quickly."  

 "But isn't it one of the songs they sang last summer?" Joey asked.  

"Well yeah. But that wasj ust a teeny promo tour before they released their first album. This summer's the BIG tour. I won't be home until two days before school starts."  

 "Sounds like you've got a busy summer ahead."  

"Oh I do," she told him. "But I'm really looking forward to it. It should be a blast."  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  "Come on Clairebear, it's time to go."  

Claire rolled over. "Five more minutes. Then I'll go to school."  

 "If I give you five more minutes you'll miss your flight," her dad said.  

She bolted right out of bed. Claire'd chosen her travel clothes (sweat pants and a hoodie) the night before and had been packed for weeks.  

"You get dressed. Luggage is already in the car. We'll stop somewhere for breakfast on the way. Mom and I'll wait in the car."  

 Pulling the hoodie over her hair (which was still prom ready) didn't mess it up and that made her laugh. She must've used a ton of hairspray; a shower was the first item on her agenda upon landing in Texas.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

Claire was happily munching on a giant cinnamon-sugar pretzel as she waited to go through security. Her parents had said goodbye after she'd checked her bags and made the promise to call immediately upon spotting the first phone after landing.

  She was excited to be back on tour, and was determined that this one wouldn't be marred by her doing something stupid (like last time) or a very overprotective older brother.  

 Claire was only dreading the plane ride; it was the longest she'd ever taken (on her own) and had decided to pass the time by reading IT by Stephen King.  

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

   Claire had always been a fast reader, she thought this was because she loved reading so much.  

She was almost finished with IT by the time the pilot turned on the 'Fasten Seatbelts' sign and announced their descent.  

Closing the book, she said,"You know, I wasn't afriad of clowns before. But now that I've nearly finished this book, I think I am," to the person next to her.  

The grandmotherly woman chuckled. "Clowns aren't the problem with that book honey. That Stephen King has a twisted mind. But that's what makes him such a GOOD storyteller."  

 Claire laughed and tucked the book into her bag and prepared herself to land.  

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

   Once the plane actually landed, nerves hit Claire again, making her antsy to be off the plane and with everyone who was sure to be waiting.  

She heard them before she saw them.  

 "CLAIRE! CLAIRE! CLAIRECLAIRECLAIRE!!!"  

Someone must've given her brother large amounts of sugar. When they saw her, they all rushed her and she got one helluva group hug. Claire thought she would be permanently squished.  

 "Hi doll," Alex kissed her. "Are you sure you're ready for this again? It's bound to be a whole lot crazier than last time."  

 "Well now that you mention it...." Claire teased. "Of course I'm ready. This is going to be awesome!"  

Once they had her luggage, Brian and Nick (who, apparently, also ingested large amounts of sugar) led the wayout of the airport singsing, "TOUR! TOUR! TOURTOURTOUR!" at the loudest volume their lungs allowed.  

 It was going to be an awesome summer alright.    

 

 “Can we just stay here forever?”

 

Stretched out next to Claire, who had just spoken, Aj answered. “I think your brother would send a search party after us.”

 

Claire giggled. “I suppose you’re right. But I can dream can’t I?”

 

He leaned over her, Of course you can my dear,” he said, dropping a handful of cold sea water on her face.

 

She started. “You jerk!” she ran after him into the waves.

 

When Claire reached Aj, he picked her up and tossed her in the water.

 

She came up spitting salt water. “You’re dead Mclean,” she shouted and launched herself at him.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

This time, they both came up spitting salt water.

 

They were also laughing.

 

Aj kissed her. The combination of being in the sun, in Hawaii, in salt water up to her waist and being with her boyfriend made Claire dizzy. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

 

Next thing she knew, she was lying in the sand as Aj untied her bikini top.

 

Claire stopped him before he got it completely off. “Aj, stop. We can’t,” she whispered.

 

“Why the hell not?”

 

“Sex on the beach is a drink. Not something I want to experience just yet. And ESPECIALLY not when my brother, cousin or your mother could sneak up on us at any second. It just isn’t a good idea.”

 

He groaned and rolled onto his back. “You’re killin’ me Littrell,” he said, watching as she sat up and retied her top.

 

“Surfing! Surfing! Surfing!”

 

Claire and Aj turned toward the oncoming chant. “See?” she whispered as Brian, nick, Howie and Kevin walked toward them.  “They totally would’ve caught us. Howie would’ve been grossed out, Nick would’ve run away screaming and Brian and Kevin would now be in the middle of…” she turned. “Hi guys!”

 

“Hiya sis,” Brian said. “We’re gonna go take a surfing lesson. Do you guys want to tag along?”

 

“Sure! Aj,” she turned again. “Do you?”

 

“Not this time. I’ve already filled my sun quota for today. But you go and have fun. I’ll see you later.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“You should’ve gone surfing with us. It was fun,” Claire whispered.

 

“I wasn’t exactly in a state to stand up in front of Bri and Kev. They would’ve smushed me and you know it.”

 

“True. They would have,” she giggled.

 

“Oh you think it’s funny do you? You wanna laugh?” Aj turned and started tickling her sides.

 

Claire was most ticklish on her sides and she was soon out of breath from laughing.

 

“Stop…please…can’t…breathe!”

 

“You’re laughing, of course you can breathe. And anyway, you know the price you must pay to get me to stop,” he laughed back. They’d played this tickling game once before.

 

Claire shook her head. “We can’t!” she hissed, still laughing. “Brother’s next door.”

 

“So we’ll be quiet,” he kissed her.

 

Most kisses-while-laughing weren’t sexy, but somehow, the kisses-while-laughing Claire had shared with Aj were. They were Claire’s most favorite kind of kiss.

 

“When are we ever quiet?” Claire surrendered. “I give up. You win.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Stay here,” Claire heard. She turned from tying her shoes. “You know I can’t. Brian would have a cow. So would just about everyone else. Not your mom though, she likes me.”

 

“So do I. So stay with me.”

 

‘Sorry hun, we’ve both got big days ahead of us,” she leaned down and kissed him. “And we can use the sleep. So Good night my love. I shall see you tomorrow.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Are you sure we’re gonna get away with this?” Claire whispered.

 

“Of course we are,” Nick replied. “We always play pranks on each other.”

 

“Well, I don’t think anyone’s gonna like this one.”

 

Nick had come up with a joke for Claire to help him with and now she didn’t know what on earth made her agree to help. She was having second thoughts about it now.

 

“Lighten up Claire,” he scoffed.

 

“Brian doesn’t like heights. Telling him I’m stuck up here and that he has to come get me isn’t gonna make him happy.”

 

Nick ignored her and Claire thought about backing out. But then she had an even better idea.

 

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. I need the bathroom,” she said and trotted off to find her brother.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“CLAIRE!!!” Nick yelled. “I am SO getting you back!”

 

Claire just laughed. “I’m sure you’ll try Nicky.” She had found Brian with the others and told them of Nick’s plan. They had quickly come up with a  way to turn it around and now Nick was hanging in a net that was dangling fifteen feet above the stage.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“It was bound to happen,” Claire said from under her blanket. Only what she said sounded like, “Eeetasoundoooappen,” because of her stuffy nose.

 

Leighanne shooed Brian out of the room. “You guys have a show tomorrow night. You don’t wanna get sick. Go.”

 

“Thanks for taking care of her,” Brian said as he left the room.

 

“Yeah Leigh. Thanks for staying with me. I know taking care of your boyfriend’s little sister while she’s sick can’t be fun.”

 

“On the contrary. It’ll give us a chance to get to know one another better. And,” Leighanne smiled. “You can tell me all the embarrassing stuff Brian doesn’t want me to know.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Chicken pox? What the hell? I thought you had them when you were six,” Aj said.

 

“I did. Sometimes you can get them twice. And apparently the second time is WAY more itchy,” Claire replied.

 

“Don’t scratch.”

 

“Thanks genius, I kinda figured that out for myself.”

 

“Calamine lotion,” Aj stated.

 

“Yeah, it’s not working. Which really sucks.”

 

“Still, NO scratching.”

 

“Yeah yeah. You’re not the one who’s stuck inside with the chicken pox while you’re in freaking Hawaii. I’ll scratch if I want to.’

 

“There are hundreds of Hawaiians who get stuck inside with chicken pox every day,” he laughed.

 

“If you’re trying to make me feel better it’s not working. And besides, the Hawaiians who get stuck inside are FROM Hawaii. And me? I am NOT Hawaiian. I’m a Kentucky girl and I HATE being stuck inside when I really want to go surfing.”

 

All she heard was laughter. “Tell the guys I said ‘haha’ and I hope someone throws banana peels on stage and they slip.”

 

Claire was just a bit miffed that everyone found her discomfort funny. Once they got back to the mainland she’d be confined to her bus because she refused to go home. The only people allowed on the bus would be those who’d already suffered chicken pox, which meant no Howie and a new driver until the doctor declared her cured.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“I’m so coming back here soon,” Claire said. “Maybe for spring break.”

 

“Oh no you won’t!” Brian said. “Definitely NOT for spring break. Haven’t you ever seen how crazy things get on MTV? It’s worse in real life.”

 

Claire was covered from head-to-toe while in the sun and now she was mad at her brother. If they weren’t in the airport waiting to board their plane to Washington, she’d be screaming.

 

“Uh Bri? You’re not mom and dad. They already promised I could go on a spring break trip with Ari, Megs, Steph and Jen. Plus, I’ll be eighteen anyway and will go if I want to.”

 

“Sounds like Claire needs a little nappy,” Nick commented.

 

“Shut it Nick. I’m not really in the mood to go all slappy on people.”

 

Brian spoke, “Claire’s always been grouchy when she’s sick. I think she always will be. But Nick,” he turned to his friend. “I really, REALLY wouldn’t mess with her right now. She’s liable to take your head off.”

 

Claire nodded in agreement.

 

Kevin cracked up. “Bri, do you remember when we had to replace the Professor?”

 

“What do you mean REPLACE him?” Claire demanded. “He’s the same bear he’s always been.”

 

“No he’s not,” Brian laughed. “You got sick when you were four and everyone went on vacation without you. So you stayed with us. Me and Harold found you crying over Professor’s decapitated bear body. You said he was making fun of you and laughing because you were sick so you ripped his head off to shut him up.”

 

“Maybe I WILL leave her alone,” Nick muttered.

 

Everyone, even Claire, laughed.

 

“Man, I was a mean little kid. But why didn’t you guys just sew his head back on?”

 

They (Brian and Kevin, mostly Brian) told more embarrassing stories of Claire’s childhood. Aj learned stuff she never intended him to know.

 

Claire decided as they boarded the plane that payback sucked. She was never going to tell her brother’s girlfriend embarrassing stories about him ever again.