Chapter 1


Nick came home from yet another long day at work, feeling so tired and drained....but he couldn't sleep until he checked his answering machine. He had been working 14 to 16 hour days to make money for his demo CD. Nick had finally sent it out to all the major record labels he could think of....Jive, RCA, Universal....Atlantic....and Virgin. He rushed home every day from work to check the answering machine for calls, but no record executives had left messages, no secretaries had called with audition times. He went upstairs, hanging his head in defeat again...hating himself for getting even the least bit excited about a call. He checked his email as well, but no messages about auditions. After two months and waiting all summer, Nick was getting impatient. He fell asleep and dreamt about being on a stage....performing for a crowd of thousands, playing his guitar and singing. Nick wanted this more than anything in the world...well, except one thing. Nick wanted to be with Amanda even more than he wanted this singing career. He loved how she smelled, how she felt when she touched him...her voice. Nick thought about her every single day now that she was away at the University of South Florida. He called her when he could, between jobs and before work.

"AJ....has anybody called yet?" Nick asked fervently one morning in October when he came down for breakfast.

"No, sorry buddy. Nothing yet." he replied.

"Joey?" Nick asked the other man at the table. Joey was one of his classmates, and a friend of Lance's from high school. Nick had let him move in over the summer while he went to school and worked part time. Joey just shook his head and stuffed more eggs into his mouth, chewing loudly.

"Nope." he said, spraying eggs onto his own shirt.

"Gross, dude." AJ commented, pushing his chair away from him. Joey simply shrugged and kept eating.

"I hate this waiting...I sent that demo out months ago...you'd think one of them would have called by now." Nick said.
"Don't worry so much, Nick. You're really talented, I'm sure one of them will call any time. Just be patient." AJ reassured him with a smile. He looked at Joey to help him give Nick a confidence boost, but Joey ignored him and kept eating.

"Thanks Jay. I just really want this so bad and its killing me." Nick said. He looked at the clock and jumped out of his seat as if his chair was on fire.

"God, I'm gonna be late and Mark is gonna kill me!" Nick shouted as he bolted out the door. Nick went to work and was a minute late, which to normal standards was ok for any normal job....but not to Mark, the general manager of Game Zone.

"Carter....I expect you to be on time! You are not setting a good example for the employees by being late!"

"Mark, its a minute....only a minute."

"You're a manager...I want you here ON TIME! No excuses!" Mark snapped before sending Nick to the storage room. He hated doing inventory, being stuck in the back room for hours on end. When his shift was finally over at 4, Nick excitedly punched out.

"Carter! Come here for a minute." Mark called as he was leaving.

"Can you close tonight? Ken called out and I can't close by myself." he added once Nick walked over. Reluctantly he agreed, he was never able to turn down extra hours.

"Sure, Mark. I will be back at six." Nick promised with a sigh. Nick drove home and immediately checked his answering machine. There was a message on it for him, and once he listened to it...Nick almost cried. A record label wanted him to audition for them in New York City on Wednesday afternoon.

"AJ!!! AJ!!!!" Nick screamed, running into the other room.

"Where's the fire, Nick?" AJ asked with a chuckle.

"I got great news, but I am gonna go shower and head back to work. I will tell you about it when I get home." Nick said.

"You're going back to work? Didn't you just come home?" AJ asked.

"Mark needs me to close. I hate that damn job. I wish they never made me manager, I can't stand working there." Nick complained.

"If you hate it that much, then quit. Do what Nick wants to do and fuck them. You don't owe that guy shit." AJ said. Nick smiled, he could always count on him for good advice. When he returned to work, Mark was in a bad mood.

"Carter, I need you to count inventory over again because I entered it into the computer and your counts were off." the manager snapped.

"Are you trying to say I cannot count?" Nick said without thinking.

"Well maybe if you had gone to college...." Mark commented. Nick felt angry, more angry than he had felt in a while.

"I had a 4.0 GPA, Mark. I chose not to go to college for a reason." he replied.

"Your made up music career? Heh. That won't amount to anything. You're gonna be stuck working here the rest of your life." Mark said, laughing at him. Nick clenched his fists, his blood boiling.

"Fuck you." he said softly, causing the manager to turn around.

"What?"

"FUCK YOU." Nick shouted, and several customers turned to look.

"You're out of line, Carter." Mark snapped.

"No, YOU are out of line! You don't know shit about me, and I am much better than this stupid job. Close the store yourself! I QUIT!!" Nick screamed, throwing the keys at Mark and storming out of Game Zone, smiling as he went. Who needed a job when you were about to be a rockstar?

Chapter 2

It was a slow day at Oceanview Ink, where AJ worked behind the counter. He ran the shop almost by himself, he enjoyed his work. He was surprised when Nick walked inside.

"Nick, what you doing here?" AJ asked. He knew fully well Nick was supposed to be at work.

"I came to visit you," Nick said with a grin.

"Stop with the ass kissing, you're gonna give me a complex." AJ quipped. Nick shook his head as he laughed.

"Jay, I want a new tattoo." he said after a while.

"What's the occasion?" AJ asked, smiling.

"Its just a really good day, Jay. I haven't felt this good in quite a while." Nick replied as he was led into the back room.

"What was the big news you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh...I got an audition in New York on Wednesday!" Nick said excitedly. AJ got out his tools and put gloves on before getting out the needle.

"That's awesome! So what did you want me to give you this time and where?" he grinned. AJ had already done a tattoo on Nick, a shark on his arm.

"A music note right here....on my shoulder." Nick said, pointing to the back of his right shoulder.

"So you got an audition....how did you get off from work on such short notice?" AJ asked while he began tracing the outlines of the music note onto Nick's bare skin.

"I quit." Nick said simply.

"W-what? You quit?! Nick, you're not supposed to quit a job when you don't have anther lined up!" AJ scolded, sounding like a parent and making Nick laugh.

"I threw the keys at Mark, told him to fuck himself and walked the hell out." he explained calmly, with the attitude that he did not care in the slightest that he was nearly broke. For a few moments, AJ worried they might be homeless now that Nick was out of a job.

"But why?" he asked again, not taking his eyes off of Nick's back.

"AJ, I don't need that job anymore! I'm gonna get that record deal." Nick explained. He knew for a fact he was going to be famous someday, and he was confident that the record company people would like him once he auditioned. Nick had a good feeling about it, and his first instinct was always right.

"Amanda would kill you if she knew about this, you know that?" AJ laughed, and Nick laughed with him.

"She's at school." Nick said thoughtfully.

"So how are you gonna find your way around NYC all by yourself? You are only 18, you have never been to New York before. Are you sure its wise to go on your own?" AJ asked. He really did sound just like a parent even though he was 20 going on 21.

"I didn't think about it." Nick said, as AJ was finishing up. The tattoo was complete, etched into his skin for life.

"Why don't you bring someone with you who knows the area? Do you know someone who has been to New York?" AJ asked while he put a bandage over Nick's music note to protect it. There really was only one person who knew New York, and it was Amanda. She had told Nick lots of stories from when she lived in New Jersey, about going to the city on weekends with her parents.

"Amanda." Nick said with a smile.

"You're gonna ask Amanda? Good luck getting her to leave school to run away with you." AJ laughed. Nick grinned, he knew he could charm her into coming on the trip.

"I will get her to go, all I have to do is go talk to her. Amanda will help me." he said calmly. Nick decided to drive down to Amanda's college the next day, and he couldn't wait to see her again to tell her the good news, that he was about to have his dream become a reality. He just hoped she would say yes and that the audition would go well, because he couldn't bear to think about what would happen if he failed.

Chapter 3

"Help me...figure out the difference between right and wrong, weak and strong, day and night, where I belong..." Amanda sang as she studied in her dorm room at college. Nick had given her a copy of his demo when he sent them to the record lables, and she liked to listen to his music when she did homework.

"Amanda, are you listening to that Nick guy again?" her roomate Jodie teased, laughing as Amanda's phone buzzed on the table.

"He's gonna be famous, just watch." Amanda smiled. She opened the phone to read the new text message.

"What?" Amanda wondered out loud. The text said there was a surprise for her outside of her room, so she ran to the door and opened it.

"Hey," Nick said calmly with a big smile.

"Oh my god!" Amanda exclaimed, practically jumping on top of him. She threw her arms around him and he hugged her, they had not seen each other in nearly four months.

"Well, hello to you too," he laughed as they parted. Amanda looked him over, he looked amazing...he was slightly taller and looking simply gorgeous. Amanda brought Nick into her dormitory and they sat down on her bed, talking.

"Who's the cute guy?" Jodie asked bluntly. Nick blushed and Amanda laughed.

"This is Nick," she said...gesturing towards the cd player. Nick's voice was floating around the room and Jodie stared.

"Oh....wow. Awkward. Okaaay...I will leave you kids alone then." she commented before leaving the room.

"So this is college." Nick said after Jodie had left, looking around the dorm.
"Yep....this is it." Amanda giggled. She was excited to see him again, or that anyone had visited her. Nick and AJ were the only ones she really talked to. Lance, her boyfriend....well, that was another story.

"I guess I'm not missing much, now am I?" Nick teased, tapping his foot to his own music.

"So what brings you to the University of South Florida?" Amanda asked, brushing her brown hair out of her face.

"I got an audition..." Nick said.

"Oh Nick...that's wonderful! I am so proud of you!" she exclaimed, giving him another hug as he blushed.

"Its for RCA in New York City." he continued, not meeting her gaze.

"You're going to New York by yourself? Are you insane?" Amanda asked suddenly. She knew that an innocent 18 year old like Nick would get torn apart in the Big Apple. He was so naïve and shy that he would get eaten alive by the people of New York. Amanda was afraid of what would happen to him if he went alone.

"Actually, I was thinking of asking AJ to come." Nick started. He knew for a fact she would not allow AJ to accompany him on the trip and was using this as a set up for asking her to go.

"Nick, I don't think that is a good idea. You should bring someone who knows the area, that can show you around...."

"You mean like you?" Nick asked with a smile. Amanda suddenly realized why Nick was at her dorm.

"Nick...I can't....I just can't..." she said softly, feeling bad. Nick looked down at his feet.

"Please, Amanda. Please come to this audition with me...I can't go to New York alone." he begged after a few minutes. Amanda shook her head, feeling horrible.

"I'm in the middle of school, I can't miss my classes." she replied.

"Amanda....please help me. I need you." Nick begged again, putting on a pout and looking like a sad puppy. She hated when he did this face, it was too sad and cute to resist.

"Not fair, Carter." she quipped with a laugh.

"Come to New York with me then." Nick said.

"Ok I will try and talk to my professors and see if they will let me off." Amanda told him finally. Nick hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you so much! You won't regret this, I promise!" Nick said before he left. Amanda really hoped he meant that, she wasn't looking forward to begging her teachers.

Chapter 4

"I can't believe I'm going through with this, I must be insane." Amanda muttered to herself as she waited for Nick to pick her up Tuesday morning. She sat outside of her dormitory, leaning on her luggage and wearing jeans along with a college sweatshirt. Her hair was tied up but hung somewhat loose, and she didn't care. Amanda was comfortable in front of Nick to the point where she knew he didn't care how she looked.

"This is crazy.....this is crazy." Amanda mumbled as a beat up car pulled into the parking lot, the muffler making grinding noises as it parked. Amanda laughed at it, wondering what loser was behind the wheel of such a piece of junk.

"Hey college girl!" Nick shouted, waving from the car.

"Nick?" Amanda asked in disbelief. The car was so rusted that she could not tell what color it was even supposed to be, and there was a few rims missing on the tires. The bumper hung crookedly to one side and the windshield was cracked. It was the same car Nick had driven to prom, but now it had gotten worse.

"What the hell are you driving?" Amanda asked in shock. Nick got out and laughed, playfully kicking the car. It started making a ticking noise as she walked closer, and Amanda was having second thoughts. She wanted to turn around and run the other way.

"This is my car...." Nick said.

"No. That is not a car....that is a deathtrap." Amanda commented.

"We will be fine." he promised. They headed to the airport, Nick tapping nervously on the steering wheel.

"How about some music?" Amanda asked, reaching for the radio...but there was an empty hole where it should have been and wires hanging out haphazardly in different directions. She turned to Nick and gave him a bemused look.

"It was stolen....don't ask." was all he would say. The ticking noise grew louder as they drove, the airport was about 20 minutes away and Amanda could not wait to get out of the car. Halfway into the trip, Amanda felt water on her arm and noticed that the roof had a hole in it, a miniature waterfall was forming inside of Nick's car.

"Uh....Nick?"

"Oh....hang on." Nick said casually. He pulled over and reached into the back seat of the car, taking out a large red umbrella and a yellow rain poncho. He put on the coat first as if he had done this a million times before. Nick took the umbrella and poked it through the hole in his roof, then opened it. All Amanda could do was blink at him in shock and amusement. The car then decided it didn't want to run.

"Please....don't quit on me today..." Nick begged, petting the dashboard.

"Really???" Amanda exclaimed in frustration, throwing her hands up in the air. The car seemed to listen to him and it began to run once more, Nick smiling as they got back onto the highway. Once they got to the airport, Nick took their luggage out of the trunk and closed it, but did not lock the car.

"Nick, you're leaving this for 3 days, aren't you going lock it?" Amanda asked.

"If someone stole it they would be doing me a favor." he said seriously. Amanda shook her head and they went inside.

"Nick, wouldn't it make sense to buy a new car?" she asked once they got inside the terminal. Nick had been saving for a car but instead had spent the money on plane tickets, not to mention the money he used on the demo and studio time. To tell the truth, he only had about a hundred dollars to his name, and everything depended on him getting this record deal.

"I used my money for the demo." Nick confessed. Just then an announcement over the intercom stated that there was a car fire in the parking lot. When the license plate number was read, Nick slumped down in his seat and tried to hide, but his tall frame prevented it.

"Way to be inconspicuous Nick." Amanda teased, laughing.

"It was bound to happen." Nick said sheepishly. They boarded the plane and put on their seatbelts.

"Take this." Amanda said, handing gum to him.

"Gum?"

"Chew it...it helps to get your ears to pop during takeoff." she instructed. Nick took the gum and slowly chewed as the plane taxied. Amanda noticed he was tense and his face had grown pale, his hand was shaking.

"Are you ok?" she asked. Nick didn't answer, he gripped the arm of his seat a little tighter. Amanda placed her hand over his and squeezed it gently. Their eyes met and he smiled, Amanda always knew how to make him feel better. As their flight took off, Nick knew this trip was going to be extraordinary.

Chapter 5

Flying deathtrap...this is a flying deathtrap....

Nick was scared to death of flying...he had never been on an airplane before, so when the plane ascended he felt his heart pounding. He dared not look out of the window next to him, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he felt a panic attack coming on. All of a sudden he felt Amanda touch his hand, placing hers on top. He looked at her and she smiled.

"It will be okay, Nicky." she whispered kindly. Nick smiled back, his heartbeat slowing a bit. He definitely felt calmer with her there to help him.

"I gotta use the bathroom." he said about halfway through the flight.

"The bathrooms are over there," Amanda whispered, pointing. Nick got up and slowly walked to the bathroom. He was. surprised how small they were and felt his heart quicken again. Nick usually never closed doors when he went into a room, The fact that the enclosed space was so small was making his heart race.

"Relax, Nick...it will be over soon." he coached himself. All of a sudden the small room began to shake....the plane was shaking. Nick gripped the wall with both hands and slumped to the floor. The shaking was violent. He felt his breath catch in his throat and his chest tighten. Hot tears rolled down Nick's face as the plane rocked and he thought they were crashing. He would never make the audition, he was going to die in an airplane bathroom. After a while, he reemerged... wiping his eyes as he walked back over to Amanda.

"Are you okay?" Amanda asked, worried as she saw his expression.

"I just had a panic attack. Why was the plane shaking?" he replied.

"Just a bit of turbulence." Amanda explained.

"A BIT?" he said a little louder than he had intended as Amanda giggled. She liked traveling with him...he was so new to everything and it made a simple trip to New Jersey exciting again. She was looking forward to being back in her home state...seeing her childhood home. Amanda loved Florida but there was something about Jersey that she missed and couldn't put her finger on.

"Passengers, we are beginning our descent into Newark Liberty Airport. Please fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for landing." a voice came over the speakers. Amanda and Nick got off the plane and went to find their luggage. People gave Nick a funny look as he walked over to the luggage claim because he was wearing shorts and a t shirt.

"What are they looking at me like that for?" Nick asked, feeling self conscious. He didn't like when people stared at him, it made him feel uneasy and nervous.

"Nick, its 40 degrees outside. You look like you don't belong here...Jersey is colder than Florida. Are you sure you paid attention in school?" Amanda teased. Once they got their bags, Nick ducked into a bathroom and changed to jeans and a sweatshirt.

"Better?" he asked, grinning and feeling warmer. Amanda just smiled. The two of them got a taxi and headed out.

"Where are we staying, anyway?" Nick asked, not taking his eyes off of the windows. New Jersey seemed like a whole different world than back home, everything was new to him. There were pine trees instead of palm trees and he couldn't see the ocean. Then there was the cold. It was almost winter and Nick was not used to this cold weather.

"My parents house." Amanda said as they drove into Landing. Nick liked the town, it was peaceful like back home. Amanda's house made him feel safe as they parked in the driveway and got their bags. They went into the house and Nick was greeted with a picture of Amanda on the wall, wearing a frilly red dress and smiling. Amanda blushed when she saw it and turned it so the picture faced the wall.

"Sorry about that." Amanda apologized, feeling humiliated. There were lots of pictures of her lining the walls, Nick stopped to look at each one.

"There are so many pictures..." he muttered.

"My parents go a little crazy with them. This is a bit awkward." she said, her face turning red.

"I like them. It means they are proud of you. My mom never hung up pictures of me." Nick explained, and Amanda felt relieved. She loved how understanding he was and didn't care how many baby photos were up of her. The two of them settled in and Amanda decided that they would take a nap for a bit first and go to NY to check out where RCA was. Nick wasn't tired but he sat in his bedroom....Amanda's old bedroom. He decided to call AJ.

"What's up?" AJ asked on the third ring.

"Just letting you know I landed. We are at her parents house. She said they are away on a trip so we are staying here." Nick replied with a grin.

"Dude, you're alone with her? Now is your shot." AJ said. Nick frowned at his phone. He hadn't been planning anything with Amanda on this trip, they were only there for his audition.

"Come on, man. She has a boyfriend." Nick scoffed.

"Nick...this is your chance to steal her away. Make her see you are better for her," AJ laughed. Nick considered this but immediately got defensive.

"That's not why I asked her to come."

"Just make her notice you. Do little things. Chicks love that crap." AJ instructed as if he were Nick's coach.

"I dunno....I am not good at the romance stuff. If I was, she would be with me already." Nick protested, remembering what had happened at prom. He laid down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling...his feet dangling off the edge of the bed.

"Nick....you got it in you. Just be yourself and screw everybody else. Follow your heart, I know its corny of me to say...but it will lead you right. Make me proud." AJ said before they hung up. Nick closed his phone and sighed, he wished things weren't so complicated. He did like Amanda but he didn't want her to feel like he had only asked her on the trip to seduce her. Even that thought made him uneasy as he fell asleep, dreaming of his record deal and hoping everything would work out.

Chapter 6

Nick woke up about an hour later...remembering that he and Amanda were supposed to be going to New York City. He wandered until he found the room she was staying in. Creaking the door open slightly, he peered inside and saw her sleeping on the bed, her lips curved into a smile. Nick stood in the doorway, watching her sleep. She looked so happy and peaceful....and beautiful. It made him love her more....he knew he would never be with her like AJ thought they should. After a while she woke up and they drove to the city. Nick was fascinated, he kept his eyes glued to the windows the whole time.

"Wait, isn't Manhattan an island? Are we gonna take a bridge over?" he asked excitedly before they approached a sign for the Lincoln Tunnel.

"Lincoln Tunnel?"

"There are tunnels into the city too. We are going under the river." Amanda explained.

"Oh yeah. We learned about the tunnels. They go underwater, I think that's so cool. We don't have anything like this back home." Nick said, grinning. There was a lot of traffic going into the city, it seemed like everybody was going to the same place.

"Wow there are a lot of cars," Nick commented as they exited the tunnel and came out into the city. They parked in a garage downtown on 5th Avenue. Amanda was tucking the ticket into her pocket when she saw Nick walking into the intersection.

"Nick!" she called, but he didn't hear her. There was a crowd of people on the corner near them and the traffic light had changed, but nobody was moving except for Nick. She pushed her way through and managed to grab his jacket, pulling him back just as a truck came barreling through the intersection where Nick had just stood.

"Wow, you just saved my life again." Nick smiled, unfazed that he had almost been made into a road pancake.

"Listen to me, even if the sign says walk, do not cross right away. Wait until everybody starts moving. Some cars don't follow traffic laws in the city. It can be very dangerous, stay by me the whole time we are in Manhattan." Amanda instructed as if she were his mother. Nick just nodded and they crossed the street. Nick was impressed by the skyscrapers and buildings in Manhattan, he had never seen anything like it.

"Wow, the Empire State Building!" Nick said, pointing up. He had never imagined it to be so tall now that he was looking up at it.

"We will be doing some sightseeing after your audition tomorrow." Amanda said, grinning at him. She had been to the city a million times, but it was fun to experience it with someone who had never been there before. Amanda suddenly noticed what he was wearing....baggy jeans with holes and a sweatshirt that was faded.

"Nick...what are you going to wear to your audition tomorrow?" Amanda asked, horrified at the thought he would show up to such an important meeting in a loose fitting shirt and ripped jeans, his hair unkempt and looking like he had just rolled out of bed.

"Clothes obviously." he replied with a smirk.

"Ha ha, very cute." she giggled.

"I try." he said, dodging as she swatted him playfully.

"No, really. What are you going to wear? Did you bring nice clothes?" Amanda asked. Nick shook his head and she stood there, thinking.

"Well we are gonna have to fix that. On our way home we will go to the mall." Amanda said. They stopped at the Rockaway Mall on the way home. It was two floors, and had lots to choose from. They ended up going to Macy's.

"This stuff is expensive." Nick said, looking at a price tag on a jacket. He was used to shopping at Walmart, or wearing his clothes until they had holes in them. He hated to shop more than anything, hated trying on and buying clothes.

"Nick, if you're going to impress those record label people, you have to dress professionally." Amanda explained. She picked out a bunch of dress shirts, jackets and slacks. Nick held the pile of clothes and wandered into the fitting room.

"I don't know about this." he said as he came out in a dark suit with a white dress shirt. Amanda's breath caught in her throat, he was simply gorgeous in a suit, his hair falling in his face, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Wow." she said aloud without intending to do so. Nick blushed and laughed awkwardly.

"I guess we will be taking this one then," he said, and Amanda laughed. They bought a few outfits and left the mall to go home. Nick was quiet as they ate dinner, worried and nervous about his audition the next day. Would they sign him? Was he talented enough to impress them for the record deal?

"Nick, you will be fine. I know you can do this, just be yourself." Amanda said warmly, her hand on top of his and smiling. He smiled back, feeling calmer but still nervous. He went to bed that night dreaming of Grammy awards and screaming fans, performing on a big stage for a crowd of thousands. He just hoped it would soon be a reality.

Chapter 7

Amanda was jarred out of sleep later that night by the sound of heavy breathing near her bed. Her eyes shot open, thinking someone had broken into the house while she and Nick slept. She lay still in the dark, reached for a pillow nearby and hit the shadowy figure as hard as she could. A body landed next to the bed with a thump and Amanda turned the light on to find Nick on the floor, doubled over and wheezing.

"Nick? Oh god...I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, helping him up as he gasped for air. She had knocked the air right out of him. Amanda helped him up and he sat down on the bed, coughing.

"I'm....ok..." he said, his voice breathy.

"You scared the crap out of me, Nick!" Amanda scolded him.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you..." Nick replied sheepishly.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep." Nick said, looking at his feet and blushing. Amanda just smiled at him. He was away from home and in a new house for the first time, of course he would be having trouble sleeping.

"Hop in." she said, pulling back the blankets. Nick stared in confusion.

"Really?"

"Yeah really." Amanda grinned. Nick climbed into bed with her, but kept his distance. Amanda still had a boyfriend, Lance. Lance was his bully as a child and they did not get along whatsoever, so Nick didn't want him to find out he was in a bed with his girl. He finally fell asleep sometime later. Amanda woke up a few hours later feeling Nick's body next to her, his arm draped over her and a smile on his face. She smiled as well, not caring he was in this position. Amanda felt safe with Nick next to her, like he was protecting her even though she protected him more. She awoke at 7 to the sound of running water in the bathroom. Nick was in the shower, steam coming from above the glass door. Amanda peeked into the bathroom, she could see the curve of his muscular back and arms through the glass. Feeling her face flush, her heart began to beat quicker as she saw him turning and washing himself, rubbing his hands all over his arms and chest...the soap sliding down his biceps. She watched him through the frosted glass of the shower for a while before she heard the water turning off. Amanda ran and hopped into the bed as if she was never there.

"Amanda?" he called after a few moments.

"Yeah Nick." she answered, trying to act as innocent as she possibly could.

"Can you come in here? I need help with something." he asked. Amanda was curious...she stepped closer to the bathroom door and saw him standing there in nothing but his boxers...his hair hanging in strings along his face and his skin still damp.

"What's that?" she asked, noticing the gauze taped over his right shoulder.

"Oh...can you take it off for me? I can't reach it." Nick begged. Amanda gently removed the gauze and discovered a music note etched into his skin.

"When did you get this? It looks new..." Amanda commented, running her hand across it...making him shudder with excitement.

"AJ did that one....he did the shark on my arm too." Nick explained, grinning as he continued to dry himself. Amanda watched him flex his muscles and was distracted enough to remember that Nick had worked the day he claimed to have gotten the tattoo.

"Hold up. You were working that day. You told me you were working a double that night. And how did you get off from work on such short notice?" Amanda demanded. Nick put a shirt on and reached for his pants, frowning.

"I....I uh...don't work there anymore..." he half whispered.

"Nick stop playing with me. Where do you work now?"

"Uhm....nowhere."

"WHAT?!" Amanda shouted, her brown eyes flaring with anger.

"Amanda, I wasn't happy there. I threw the keys at my boss and told him to fuck himself." Nick said, smiling as if he were proud of himself.

"Nick, you don't quit a job without a backup plan! What are you going to do for money?" she demanded in frustration, forgetting he was still half dressed.

"I'm getting a record deal, why do I need that crappy ass job?" he said, sounding suddenly like AJ. Nick's attitude was shocking her.

"What if you don't get it, Nick? Besides, even if you DO get the deal...you're not getting paid right away. I am so disappointed in you." Amanda said, rubbing her forehead in anger. Nick looked hurt then and it killed her to not agree, but she knew she was right.

"What gave you the idea you're getting the contract? You haven't auditioned yet." Amanda added. Of course, she had faith he would succeed, but she also didn't want to pick up the pieces when he was rejected. Nick had a bad habit of letting himself get excited and setting himself up for disappointment. She suddenly had a vision of him crying histerically after not being signed and giving up completely on his dream. That was the last thing she wanted.

"You're upset with me." he said softly, his head hanging and his eyes towards his own feet. He finally left the room, leaving Amanda to her thoughts. She felt bad for being so hard on him, but Nick had to realize that confidence would only get him so far. Amanda just wanted this day to be over...and she hoped it would turn out well for not only him...but her as well.

Chapter 8

Nick was nervous at breakfast, his hands folded and leaning on the table as Amanda ate her cereal. He had never felt more nervous in his entire life....his dreams were about to come true.

"Nick, you should probably eat something." Amanda suggested as she sipped at the milk at the bottom of the bowl.

"If I ate now...I would end up hurling later in front of those music executives." he said simply, shaking his head. Amanda shook hers at him, not approving of his choice of words. She didn't like who he was turning into....he was not the same Nick she knew in high school.

"I suppose you're right. What are you singing for them?" Amanda asked, putting her bowl into the sink and washing it.

"I think Who Needs The World is a good one to do, it was on my demo." Nick said thoughtfully.

"Oh, I love that song." Amanda gushed. Nick grinned, he had written it for her without her knowing. After breakfast, the two of them drove into New York City. It was a sunny morning, but still cold. The wind whipped their hair as they walked into RCA and Nick set down his guitar case. He was moments away from the meeting...the audition that would change his life.

"Nick Carter...they are ready for you." a blonde woman announced. Nick made a squeaking noise and didn't move, frozen in place like a deer in headlights.

"Go on," Amanda egged him, pushing him gently. Nick picked up his guitar case and walked into the other room, the door closing behind him. Amanda took out some books from her bag, thinking she would get some studying done while Nick was at his audition. Her cell phone rang about five minutes later.

"Hi Jay." Amanda said, once she realized AJ was on the other end.

"How's the trip going?" he asked in a nosy tone.

"He just went into the audition. I got a bone to pick with you AJ." Amanda snapped. She had been planning to talk to him about how he was a bad influence.

"What did I do now? You're always mad at me." AJ said, laughing.

"Can I ask why you told Nick to quit his job? Why you told him he didn't need it?" Amanda asked angrily. AJ's tone changed immediately after this remark.

"Look, I didn't tell him to quit!" he protested.

"You might as well have. What if he doesn't get the record deal? I really don't feel like picking up the pieces when he walks out and tells me he failed....because you made him so cocky." Amanda said. She knew Nick would be devastated if he failed to get the recording contract, Nick had never failed at anything before, and his self esteem was already fragile due to the abuse he endured as a child.

"Cocky? I didn't tell him anything....just that he was talented and he shouldn't worry. Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic over this? Its not like Nick will throw himself over a goddamn bridge if he fails." AJ shouted.

"AJ, you have only known him for a year. I have known him since he was 10. You have no idea what he went through as a kid...this record deal is very important to him. I don't want him to be hurt."

"He will get over it, Nick is a big boy now." AJ said as if it were no big deal that Nick had no job, no car and was almost broke. He was already in a bad place, and Amanda knew that if Nick did not get that record deal, he would be crushed completely.

"You don't understand. This is his life you're messing around with. You have changed him. He is not the same Nick I knew in high school." she said softly.

"Nick is still Nick. He's happier with me than when he was living with Brian's family. They were brainwashing him. What exactly was so bad about his childhood? The fact he was an orphan?" AJ asked. Amanda frowned at the last statement.

"Who told you he is an orphan?" she asked slowly.

"Nick told me that his parents died, that was why he was living with Brian. Brian's parents were trying to make him like Brian."

"I agree with you about that, but Nick's mom and dad are alive." Amanda told him, wondering why Nick would tell AJ he was an orphan.

"It still doesn't change the fact that he has changed since he met you AJ....I do not like this attitude of his.." she added angrily.

"I don't gotta listen to this!" AJ shouted before hanging up. Amanda went back to her studying, annoyed by AJ and his arrogance. Nick was gone for a long time before he came out of the room...his head hanging, looking at his own feet.

"Nick?" Amanda said, putting down her book and watching him with concern. His eyes had tears in them...he was stunned.

"I can't believe it...." he said softly. Amanda put her arms around him and stroked his back.

"I'm so sorry, Nick. I know how bad you wanted this..." she started, trying to give him a pep talk. He buried himself in her arms, sniffing and she felt the teardrops spilling onto her shoulder.

"Its ok sweetheart. You did your best," Amanda whispered.

"I got it...." Nick said suddenly, a hidden laugh playing at his lips.

"What?" Amanda asked in shock, pulling away from him.

"I got it. I did it....I got the record deal..."

"Nick, stop playing." Amanda said, watching him wipe his eyes and crack a grin.

"No, really. I got it!" he said, a genuine smile across his face. He was crying tears of joy, not of defeat. Amanda smiled but hit him upside the head.

"Don't scare me like that!" she scolded as he laughed and hugged her, lifting her into the air.

"I got the record deal!" he squealed happily, kissing her on the cheek and laughing. Nick was overcome with so many emotions at once....he had hardly believed it when the executives decided to sign him to RCA.

"Let's go celebrate, Nick! This is such good news!" Amanda said, as the two of them wandered back out into the cold.

"This is the happiest day of my life." Nick gushed. Amanda heard her cell phone ring but suddenly her face fell. Nick saw the look in her eyes and knew the phone call was not good at all.

Chapter 9

"Hello?" Amanda asked, picking up the phone. Nick was singing, he grabbed onto a light post and swung around it, his arm stretched out. Amanda shushed him, smiling.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" an angry voice asked on the other end.

"Lance?" Amanda asked in confusion. Lance had not called her all summer, she wondered why he would even ask her where she was now, he hardly cared about her when she was at school.

"No its Mickey Mouse. Who the fuck do you think it is?"

"Why are you shouting at me?" she demanded. Nick was staring at her, he looked concerned.

"Hang up on him," Nick mouthed, but Amanda waved him away.

"Guess where I am right now..." Lance snapped. Amanda wracked her brain. He went to school in Orlando....and had an apartment in Miami, not to mention he had a job on top of that.

"I'm at your dorm room. Your roomate said you haven't been there since Sunday night. Where are you?" Lance said when she had taken too long to answer.

"Lance....why are you at my dorm?" Amanda asked, ignoring the fact that he was being a total and complete butthead.

"Its our anniversary...our one year anniversary. I came to take you to dinner." Lance explained. Amanda's hand flew to her mouth in shock. She had completely forgotten about this in the excitement of Nick's audition.

"Well, I'm out of town...I'm sorry sweetheart."

"Don't give me that crap. Why didn't you tell me you were going away?"

"It was a last minute descision. I'm in New York helping a friend." Amanda explained. Nick was busily waving his arms and mouthing HANG UP.

"Why the fuck are you in New York with Nick?" Lance demanded.

"Excuse me, I never said I was with him." Amanda protested. She was getting frustrated to the point she debated on dumping him.

"Well who else would you be with?" Lance shouted.
"Nick had an audition in the city and I'm here to help him out since I know the area." Amanda said calmly. Lance just laughed, a loud sarcastic laugh.

"Oh....I get it. Nicky needs a babysitter while he's away from home." he said in a mock baby voice.

"Shut the fuck up, Lance. Nick can take care of himself." Amanda yelled.

"He has never lived on his own. He can't do anything without someone holding his hand." he said bitterly.

"Lance, you don't know Nick at all. I hate when you berate him like this." Amanda scolded him.

"Sure take his side, you always have. Well I hope you two have a wonderful time together and make sure little Nicky looks both ways before crossing the street." Lance spat.

"You're an ass." Amanda shouted, feeling more angry than she had felt towards him in a long time.

"I'm done with this conversation and I'm done with you, Amanda. Have fun with your precious Nick." Lance said nastily before hanging up. Amanda stood there with her mouth hanging open, Lance had just dumped her over the phone. Not only that, but it was their anniversary.

"Amanda?" Nick asked, slowly walking over to her. She closed her phone and put it back into her pocket, her brown eyes shimmering with tears.

"Where did you want to go to eat, Nick?" Amanda asked suddenly, breathing in and exhaling as if nothing happened.

"I don't know, are you sure you're up to it? You don't look well. Maybe we should go home." Nick offered. He hated seeing her like this, she looked like she was going to cry.

"I don't want to ruin anything, this is your day." Amanda protested, looking at her feet.

"You know what? Um...I'm kind of tired. We can always celebrate another time." Nick said honestly, picking up his guitar case again. They walked back to the car and drove home in silence. When they got to the house, Nick laid down and slept for a while. He woke up hungry and was sure Amanda was hungry too. Nick looked in the refrigerator and found some chicken. He knew her parents were away and it would go bad, so he decided to cook. After cooking the chicken and some pasta for the two of them, he brought it upstairs on a tray to Amanda's room. Before he opened the door, he could hear her crying....it broke his heart to hear her cry.

"Amanda?" he said softly, knocking on the door and balancing the tray with her free hand.

"Yes, Nick?" Amanda replied, wiping her eyes before he came into the room.

"Are you hungry? I brought you something to eat." he said, holding up the tray. Amanda smiled at him. She didn't want to eat but the food smelled so good she couldn't help herself.

"Wow, this is so good." Amanda commented. She was definitely impressed, was there anything Nick could not do? He was always surprising her...she was blown away.

"I'm glad you like it." Nick grinned, taking a forkful of pasta.

"Where did you learn to cook this? Its amazing." she continued as she ate. Amanda felt that if she could take Nick home to cook for her, she would be happy Lance had dumped her and run off with Nick just for his pasta.

"I just kind of picked it up. I had to cook when I lived with my mom...and Brian's mom taught me a lot of things too." he explained, blushing a little.

"So...you want to talk about it?" he added a moment later when they finished eating. Amanda set down the fork and sighed, the tears threatening to come again.

"Lance broke up with me." she explained in a shaky voice.

"On the phone? What a jerk! Amanda, I don't know why you put up with him, you deserve better." Nick said suddenly.

"Someone like you..." Amanda muttered softly as he hugged her.

"Don't let him get to you, you are far better off without a guy treating you like you're some kind of prize. You deserve to be treated like a princess. He's a fool, anybody would be lucky to have someone like you." Nick told her.

"Nick, I know this is awkward, but would you stay with me again tonight? I feel so much safer with you near me." Amanda said, rubbing her own shoulder. Nick put the dishes in the sink and came back upstairs. The two of them laid in bed together, talking until they fell asleep. Now that Nick had his record deal, all he had to do now was show Amanda he could be good for her. Tomorrow would be the day...the day he told her how he felt. He just hoped that she felt the same way.

Chapter 10

Amanda and Nick took the train into New York City the next morning after breakfast. Nick had never ridden on a train before, so he was excited as they pulled out of the Dover train station. They talked softly during the trip, Nick was happy about the record deal....he was a signed artist now. Amanda was trying to keep composure, she still felt upset over Lance but wanted to make sure Nick's last day in New York was a good one. They were going to do some sightseeing, she planned on showing him all the major attractions that she could in a day. It was early in the morning, the train was full of people in business suits and briefcases heading to work.

"This is a great way to see New Jersey..." Nick commented as he watched the world pass by the window.

"Welcome to my home." Amanda laughed. They went through Secaucus Junction and all of a sudden the lights on the train went out.

"What's going on?" Nick asked shakily. His heart pounded in his chest and he closed his eyes, humming softly for a few moments. Amanda realized it was just like on the plane....Nick was claustrophobic. She took his hand in hers and rubbed it slowly with her thumb, his hands shaking.

"We're going under the river. Just relax." she whispered. When the lights came on he smiled at her.

"Thanks." he whispered. They finally reached Penn Station in Manhattan. It was the main station for all incoming trains and the second biggest train station in the city next to Grand Central Station.

"Wow!" Nick exclaimed as he saw the train open and all the people rushing to get off.

"This is Penn Station. Stay with me." Amanda said, grinning. The station was enormous and had little shops and places to eat. Everyone was moving quickly to get to the platforms and catch their trains. They found the sign for the subway and Nick stopped to look at the map. Colored lines marked the subway routes through the city.

"Can you read this?" Nick asked, confused by the pattern.

"Each subway has a number or a letter. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6....A, B, C, D, E, F...and so on." Amanda told him.

"So which are we taking?" Nick asked. The letters and numbers confused him enough, making his head swim and his brain start hurting. He definitely was not in Miami any more.

"We are going to Battery Park...all the way at the bottom here." Amanda said, pointing at the tip of Manhattan.

"What's so special about it?" Nick asked.

"That's where we will get on a ferry to the Statue Of Liberty. There is a tour and everything. Come on, we have to catch our train." Amanda replied, taking his hand. Nick laughed as he followed her down to the train. They reached Battery Park in no time. It was windy and cold by the harbor, the wind whipping their hair in their eyes. Amanda bought the ferry tickets and they got on. Nick was fascinated by everything their tour guide pointed out, but he noticed Amanda was standing by the rail, shivering.

"You look cold." he whispered in her ear with a sly grin.

"Brilliant observation." Amanda chuckled. Nick opened his coat and wrapped it around her. Amanda felt much warmer with his body against hers, feeling his heat.

"That better?" he asked, grinning like the cheshire cat. Amanda was overtaken by his cologne, it was hypnotizing.

"Much." she said, snuggling into him. They rode around the harbor and stopped at the statue, then got back on the ferry. Nick and Amanda rode the subway back to the 34th street station. After waiting in line to to to the observatory, the two of them stood on the Empire State Building, the tallest building in the city.

"This is amazing..." Nick muttered as he looked over the edge. He could see the trees in Central Park, a low fog hung over it and it was beautiful. The his hair into his face They walked around, taking pictures until they saw the Hudson River and the sun setting.

"It's so beautiful." Amanda said, smiling.

"Not as beautiful as you." Nick replied. He blushed immediately, feeling like an idiot for even saying something so dumb.

"That was lame....I'm...I'm so sorry." Nick muttered, practically kicking himself. Amanda surprised him by giggling.

"You think I'm beautiful?" she asked, blushing as well. Nick just smiled, their eyes meeting...before he knew it they were kissing, their lips pressed against one another. Amanda was shocked, it was the most passionate and wonderful kiss of her life.
"Wow," she said when they parted. Nick held her, a look of surprise on his face.

"Is that a good wow or a bad w-" Nick began, but she had ovetaken his lips. He ran his fingers through her soft brown hair and they kissed, kissed like there was nobody else in the world to see them.

"Wow!" Nick exclaimed. He and Amanda laughed and left to go back downstairs, grinning the whole way back.

"This day has been amazing." Nick said happily as they walked up 6th Avenue. The lights of the city were coming on and Nick loved every second of it, he held Amanda's hand and she liked it. She liked being with him, more than she realized before...there was definitely a new feeling she had not felt noticed. Something that had been there all along, but now tt she was completely comfortable with him, her heart was telling her it was ok to show him.

"What's that?" Nick said suddenly, as they came across a large staircase. He wandered up it and they found a large fountain in the middle of a small park.

"This is Bryant Park," Amanda said, pointing out a sign nearby. The fountain was all lit up and the water splashed gently. Nick stood there and watched it, smiling.

"It's so peaceful here," he muttered.

"Hard to believe it, in this city there could be a quiet spot." Amanda agreed. They stood there and held hands, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Come on, I gotta show you something." Amanda said suddenly, pulling him by the hand. The two of them ran up the street, laughing.

"Where are you taking me?" Nick asked, giggling. His mouth hung open in shock...he stood in Times Square. Everything was lit up...it was mind blowing how many lights there were. Nick walked slowly, his head up as far as his neck would allow him, turning in a circle.

"What do you think?" Amanda asked, smiling as she took pictures of him.

"Amanda, this has been the best day ever. Thank you." he replied.

"Thank you for letting me come with you." Amanda said.

"I wish this day would never end." he told her, taking her hand and holding it near his chin, kissing it gently. Amanda smiled, she would not give this day up for anything in the world. As they walked to the subway, Amanda knew this was only the beginning of a magical night.

Chapter 11

Amanda and Nick rode the train home to New Jersey. However, this trip was different. As soon as the train left the station, Nick couldn't keep his hands off of Amanda when the lights went out. She felt his lips upon her own and his hands wander, she loved every minute of it.

"Nick..." she whispered, giggling as he kissed her neck. His mouth felt so good on her skin...he was gentle. Nick moved back up to her face and they continued, she ran her hand through his hair and he held her tight. Every kiss was better than the last, she didn't even notice how long the train ride was. When they got back to Dover, they drove back to Landing. Nick was kissing her neck the whole way back, making it hard for her to concentrate on the road.

"Nick...not now," she whispered. The two of them reached her house and went up to the bedroom.

"Nick.." Amanda said, before she grabbed him and began kissing him once more. Nick smiled and she felt his tongue inside her mouth. Amanda removed his jacket and threw it aside, as he continued to kiss, nibbling on her bottom lip....not noticing she was undressing him. Amanda was now in her bra and jeans, Nick had a button down shirt. She moved to rip off his shirt, but suddenly he stopped and looked at her.

"Wait..." he said softly, moving away from her face.

"Nick?" Amanda whispered. She was a little disappointed that he had stopped, they had a momentum going. She moved to kiss him but he pulled away.

"Should we be doing this? You and Lance just broke up." Nick asked suddenly. Amanda's face fell...damn his conscience. She sometimes hated the fact that Nick, unlike Lance...had a heart. Amanda didn't really care about Lance...he had hurt her deeply and all she wanted to do was forget about him and be with Nick. However, she was now questioning if Nick wanted to be with her.

"I don't care, Nick...I want to be with you." she said, taking his hand. Nick sat there, looking down at the bed. He had Amanda finally, she wanted him and he wanted her...but he was scared. Scared and afraid that he was setting himself up to get hurt yet again. Nick took his hand back and his face turned from her, his eyes searching.

"I just don't know," Nick whispered. Amanda felt hurt....now Nick didn't want her either.

"Just forget it, Nick." she said shakily, laying down and turning to face the wall, away from him. She tried her best not to let him see her cry.

"Amanda..."

"Forget it." she repeated a bit more firmly this time. Nick sat in the bed, feeling awful. He wanted to be with her so badly, but he didn't want to be rejected. Nick also didn't want Amanda to think he was rejecting her. He laid down next to her, leaning on his side and began kissing her shoulder.

"Nick...please..." Amanda begged, her eyes watering as he moved to her neck.

"I want to be with you, Amanda. I want....you..." he whispered into her ear.

"I don't want to pressure you into anything, Nick." Amanda said, finally giving in and kissing him back. He removed his shirt and tossed it, then moved to his pants.

"No, I want this." he said, kicking them off. Amanda smiled and continued to undress herself as they stole kisses, the passion coming right back. She loved how gentle he was with her, he knew just how to please her the most as his hands roamed. They lay together afterwords, her head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I never want this day to end..." Nick said with a smile, his hand caressing her back as he kissed her forehead.

"Me either." Amanda grinned, her finger tracing the outline of his abs.

"This has been wonderful, I wish we could do this all the time, I really love being with you." Nick whispered. Amanda smiled back at him, she realized she did love him...she loved being with him just as much.

"Nick, I don't have to be back to college until Monday, can I spend the weekend at your house? I don't want to go back to school just yet." Amanda asked. Nick thought about it, Amanda spending time with him back home a little longer would be great. He was so excited they were finally getting together, after all the years he pined for her....Amanda was finally seeing he was right for her.

"Sure, you can stay at my house. I will drive you back on Monday." Nick said, putting his arm around her.

"Nick, your car blew up." Amanda laughed, snuggling into him.

"Oh...right. I'm kind of broke...I can't buy a new one until I get paid for the album." Nick said, remembering he had quit his job.

"Nick, I could lend you the money....to buy another used car so you have something to get by." Amanda suggested.

"You're the best." Nick said, kissing her again. They kissed until they were too tired anymore, until they fell asleep in each other's arms. Nick knew he shouldn't get his hopes up about dating Amanda....but even if it was too good to be true, he would make the most of it.

Chapter 12

"Hello lovebirds!" AJ said as he saw Nick and Amanda walk into the house holding hands. Amanda felt awkward as she and Nick were not officially dating yet, they had not discussed becoming a couple.

"Shut it, Jay." Nick snapped, laughing. He was so happy now that he was home and Amanda was practically his. AJ noticed that Nick acted differently with Amanda there. He would call her Baby and be very affectionate, shower her with compliments.

"About time you two got together," AJ said as he walked past her in the living room that afternoon. Nick was sorting out clothes in the laundry room from the trip.

"Who said we were together?" Amanda asked indignantly, setting down the magazine she was reading and raising an eyebrow at him.

"Nobody, but I see a change in his mood. He's happier when you're near him." AJ said. He sat down next to her and propped his feet on the coffee table, something that Nick would normally scold him for if he was in the room.

"He's always been like that, AJ. That doesn't mean we are a couple." Amanda protested. She reached over and swatted him, and he moved his feet.

"You mean he hasn't asked you out yet?" AJ asked, surprised. He figured with all the romantic things during the trip, Nick would have asked the question already.

"No Jay, he hasn't. I don't see why its any of your business." Amanda snapped, getting annoyed.

"Well, if you like him...why don't you ask him out yourself?" AJ asked. Amanda rolled her eyes at him, asking a guy out was just not her kind of thing...she liked the guy to make his move.

"I'm not that kind of girl. If Nick wants me bad enough, he has to ask me himself. After what we did in New York, I'm pretty sure he's capable of asking me a simple question on his own." Amanda said angrily. AJ got up and walked off to find Nick in the laundry room separating darks from lights.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Nick?" AJ shouted, closing the door behind him as he came in. Nick jumped and dropped the pants he was holding.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"I can't believe you're just going to let her slip away in front of you!" AJ whispered angrily.

"AJ, what are you talking about?" Nick wondered, folding shirts.

"Are you that thick? Amanda loves you...and you're basically letting her go back to Lance!" AJ said. Nick scowled at him. He would not let Lance have her back, not in a million years.

"Like hell I would. If Amanda ever went back to him, she is crazy. I could treat her a million times better than that asshole ever could. Amanda deserves better." Nick whispered.

"Then you know what you need to do, ask her before someone else does. She isn't gonna wait for you forever." AJ told him, crossing his arms. Nick nodded.

"I'm gonna ask her."

"When? Tomorrow? Next week?"

"I will ask her tonight." Nick said, closing the dryer and tossing clothes into the washing machine. Later that day, Nick saw Amanda in the guest room watching television when he decided to approach her.

"Amanda?" he asked shakily, standing in the doorway. His heart beat quicker when she looked at him and smiled.

"What's up?"

"I....I...wanted to ask you something." he said in barely a whisper.

"What is it?" she asked....he was adorable when he was shy.

"Would you like to go out with me to dinner sometime?" Nick stammered. Amanda couldn't believe he had finally asked her....she wanted so badly to go on a real date with Nick after she had seen how romantic he could be.

"Yes, I would love to!" Amanda said happily.

"Really?" Nick asked. Amanda walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Of course. Nick, I really like being with you. I would love to have dinner with you...just tell me when." she said with a smile.

"Tuesday, after you're settled back at school." Nick promised as they shared a kiss. Nick was so excited, everything was coming together. He had his record deal...and he was going to date Amanda. Life couldn't be better, but Nick had a sinking feeling he could not ignore....that his happiness with Amanda would not last.

Chapter 13

"See you on Tuesday." Nick said as he gave Amanda a quick hug and drove home. He had a smile on his face....everything he wanted was coming true. He was so excited for the record deal and being able to make his music career...and he would have Amanda. Whistling as he walked in the door, he answered the phone.

"So soon? I just got signed....okay, if you want me to do that....I will. Thanks for everything." Nick said after a few moments, hanging up the phone as AJ walked in the door.

"What's wrong, Nick? You look like your dog just died..." AJ commented.

"I am being sent to LA to record," Nick replied, sitting down at the table and sighing.

"That's great news!" AJ said, patting him on the back. Nick shook his head, looking defeated.

"AJ...I'm leaving on Friday." he replied. He felt frustrated, he was excited about the record deal but now it felt like he had made a mistake. Nick always followed his gut feeling, and it was always right...but now he wasn't sure what to believe or even do.

"Why do you look so upset? Isn't this what you wanted?" AJ asked.

"I was supposed to go out with Amanda on Tuesday...I can't go out with her if I'm leaving for three months. Its not fair to either of us." Nick replied.

"You're right. I think you know what you need to do." AJ said, patting him on the back before leaving the room. Nick drove to Amanda's college, The University of South Florida on Tuesday afternoon, when they were supposed to be going on their date. He was a little disheartened when he saw how beautiful she looked.

"Hello, Nick...come in, I just have to get my purse." she said with a smile. Nick stood in the doorway, searching for the words. Sure, he could take her out anyway and tell her the news at the end...but he was afraid the date would go so well that he wouldn't want to leave Florida, that he wouldn't want to go to Los Angeles.

"Nick, are you okay?" Amanda asked, noticing his expression.

"I gotta talk to you about something." Nick said softly. The two of them sat down on her bed and he took her hand in his, feeling rotten even though he hadn't spoke yet.

"What's going on?" she asked. Amanda was confused, he looked like he was going to cry...she wondered what he was about to tell her.

"I...I can't go out with you." he said in half a whisper, not meeting her gaze. Amanda's face fell. She had been looking forward to going out with Nick for a long time...she liked him as much as he liked her if not more. Amanda was hoping tonight Nick would tell her exactly how he felt about her now that he had gotten the courage to ask her out on a date.

"What do you mean? Why not?" she asked.

"I got a call from the record company yesterday." Nick explained with a sigh. Amanda looked at him with a confused expression. She had kind of been expecting this would happen, just not that soon. Now that Nick's career was about to take off, he would be traveling all over the country.

"That was fast." Amanda said, her last words trailing off as she looked away from him.

"I know. I'm leaving for LA on Friday." Nick replied. Amanda looked at him, she could see his eyes watering but he wouldn't cry in front of her. She was trying not to cry herself.

"LA? For how long?" she asked.

"Three months..."

"That's a long time, Nicky." Amanda said. Nick almost broke when she used the nickname she had given him.

"I can't go out with you because it wouldn't be fair if I left for three months. Its not fair for either of us, Amanda." Nick explained, his hand on her face.

"You're right. It isn't fair. Your career comes first. This must be a record to be dumped before the first date." Amanda joked, laughing softly.

"I'm not dumping you. Think of it as a rain check. When I come back, we will pick up where we left off." Nick promised, smiling. Amanda looked away, feeling her heart breaking and wondering why she let herself fall for him.

"We will see." was all she could say.

"I guess this is goodbye for now, Amanda. I leave on Friday morning." Nick said as they hugged in the doorway. He leaned in and kissed her gently.

"Goodbye." Amanda said, watching him leave. She closed the door and laid down on her bed. A picture of her and Nick sat on her night stand...she picked it up and looked at it before holding it to her chest and starting to cry. She let the tears flow, the realization that it was over before it had even begun washed over her. She knew it just wasn't meant to be.

Chapter 14

"Amanda you have to come down here. We have a problem." AJ said over the phone. Amanda was on her way back to her dormitory, it had been a long day of classes and she was in a bad mood already.

"What is it, Jay? I'm tired. I just had a test and I have a bunch of homework to do." she said, sighing as she walked into her room that she shared with her roomate, Jodie.

"Nick doesn't want to go to LA...he's moping around the house." AJ explained.

"What? But he told me he's going there to record his album! He can't just not go." Amanda shot at him.

"He says he's making a mistake by leaving." AJ replied.

"Look, I'm an hour away, I don't know what you want me to do. He won't listen unless I'm in front of him....you know how Nick is. " Amanda snapped. She did not want to drive all the way to Miami to talk to Nick, but she also wanted to make sure he didn't throw away his dreams of being a singer. Nick had worked too hard already to stop now, all for what? Because they couldn't go out? She was not happy at all to hear about Nick being depressed.

"Okay, fine. I'm on my way." she said finally, heading back out the door. When she arrived at Nick's house, AJ said he was in the kitchen. She was shocked to see Nick sitting at the table, with a bunch of junk food spread out in front of him. He had a carton of chocolate ice cream in his hand and he was eating it with a spoon. Nick looked as if he hadn't slept since she saw him last...his eyes had dark circles under them, his hair was messy.

"Amanda?" he asked, looking up in surprise. his eyes were bloodshot as well.

"What the hell are you doing? Do you want to get fat? Look at all of this crap." she snapped angrily. She grabbed the ice cream carton out of his hand, the spoon clattering on the floor.

"What's the point? Nothing I do is right, Amanda." Nick mumbled, looking at his feet in shame. He felt nauseous from all the junk he had been eating.

"Nick, you are very talented and I would hate to see you throw it all away...over what? Me? I will be here....but that music career won't if you don't go to LA Friday." she shouted. He didn't look at her, he wanted to hold her and kiss her...he wanted to stay with her forever.

"I don't think its a good idea....why can't I stay in Miami and record? Why California? I can't live on my own...I..."

"I never want to hear you say you can't do something, Nick....you're wrong. YOU CAN. This is a good experience for you..." Amanda said. Nick's eyes were watering and he looked at his feet again.

"I'm making a mistake." he whispered.

"What makes you think this, Nick?" AJ asked, crossing his arms.

"Something seems fishy about this whole thing. If I'm so talented...why did only one label call me? Why do they have to send me away? Doesn't that seem weird to you?" Nick asked. He had been thinking about it for a while. Even the guy who shook his hand and gave him the paper to sign had looked familiar...as if he knew his face from somewhere before. Nick did not have a good feeling about California one bit...he was afraid to live by himself. He felt it wasn't time to do that yet.

"Nick, the other labels probably didn't look at your demo yet. Aren't you happy you got signed to RCA? Not many people get this opportunity. " Amanda told him in exasperation.

"I'm telling you, it's not a good idea." Nick protested. Amanda winked at AJ, who nodded and smiled.

"You don't want to go? You want to give up everything you've worked so hard for, Nick? Well, I guess this is goodbye." Amanda snapped. Nick looked up at her, his eyes watering as she left the room.

"Goodbye? What do you mean?"

"The Nick Carter I know wouldn't quit. Let me know when you see him." Amanda said, heading for the front door. She and AJ stood there, whispering.

"Wait for it..."

"Okay...I will go..." Nick said suddenly, standing in the hall. Amanda grinned knowingly at AJ, her plan had worked perfectly.

"Well, get packing then!" AJ laughed as Nick smiled at them. Nick walked up to her and gave her a small hug.

"I'm sorry you came all the way down here, Amanda....but I'm glad you did." he said softly.

"Me too, Nick. Knock em dead out there." she replied.

"I'm really gonna miss you...I will call every day." Nick said, holding her hand. She smiled at his soft hands touching her.

"You better. See you in three months." Amanda said, her eyes growing damp. She hated saying goodbye, it was like when she had left during their time in school....back when they were ten years old. He leaned in and kissed her gently, she didn't want him to stop. Amanda would have preferred to freeze time...so he would never have to leave.

Chapter 15


AJ went into Nick's room on Friday morning....it was about 7:00 am....his alarm clock had been buzzing since 6:30.

"Nick, time to get up! We gotta get to the airport!" he shouted impatiently, standing in the doorway.

"Dude, I don't feel so good." a soft voice came from under the blankets. Nick coughed weakly to add to the effect.

"Oh no....you're not pulling that shit. Get your ass up." AJ snapped. Nick threw the blankets off, he was fully dressed under the covers.

"It was worth a shot." he said sheepishly as he stood up and looked for his suitcase. The boys drove to Miami Internatinal Airport, it didn't take too long to get there. Nick got himself checked in and his luggage checked. He held a carry on bag and still looked nervous, his face pale and looking tired.

"You okay, Nick?" AJ asked as they sat down at a table by the Mc Donalds. Nick sighed, picking apart his hash browns absentmindedly.

"AJ, I'm scared to death. I'm going to a new place where I don't know anyone...to live there for three months." he said softly.

"California can't be any different than Miami. Sure there will be a lot less old people and Cubans....and you will meet a lot of celebrities in LA, but I think this will be good for you. Give you a chance to grow up a little." AJ told him with a warm smile.

"I guess you're right. I just hate leaving Amanda. I wanted to go out with her so bad, Jay." Nick said, looking down at his feet.

"She will be here when you get back. Everything works iteself you, you'll see."

"I hope you know what you're talking about. I'm gonna marry her someday, you know." Nick grinned. AJ stared at him in surprise. Nick had never gone on a date with Amanda except to their prom, and he wanted to marry her. In a way it was cute, but AJ thought it was a little crazy.

"How do you know that, Nick?"

"Because I know I'm meant to be with her....she understands me, Jay. Really understands me." he explained, gazing off and smiling as he daydreamed. He dreamt of a dinner on the beach under the stars, and her telling him how much she loved him....him finally confessing his love for her. He had the dream often enough to smile whenever it came into his head. He snapped out of it when he heard his cell phone ring.

"You're still the one I run to...the only one I belong to..." Nick's ringtone was the song he and Amanda danced to at prom, he knew right away who was calling.

"Amanda!" Nick exclaimed, a grin spread from ear to ear across his face.

"I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye." Amanda said, with a sad laugh.

"I'm at the airport now.....I wish I could see you before I go....and give you just one last kiss." Nick said, pacing.

"Turn around." Amanda said. Nick's phone slid out of his hand and clattered to the floor as his breath caught in his throat and his heart skipped a beat. Amanda stood in the airport, smiling as Nick ran to her and lifted her into a hug.
"You just saw her the other day," AJ scoffed, rolling his eyes. Nick glared at him as he let go of Amanda and grinned.

"I had to say goodbye to you, Nick...three months is a long time to be going away." she said, looking into his eyes. His arms were wrapped around her waist and she didn't want him to let go. If she had her way he would never go to California, but she wanted him to have his dream of singing.

"I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to say goodbye too...I wanted one last kiss..." Nick whispered, blushing slightly.

"That can be arranged." she replied with a smile. He returned it.

"Just one kiss....." he whispered as his face grew closer to hers. He could hear the plane being announced over the loudspeaker.

"Flight 28 to Los Angeles is now boarding...."

Nick didn't care, he pulled her in and overtook her face with his, his soft lips touching hers. Amanda felt her knees go weak and held him.

"Nick...they're calling your flight to board." AJ said suddenly, tugging on his denim jacket. Nick ignored him and pushed his tongue into Amanda's mouth. AJ scowled and tugged harder.

"NICK! Let's go..." he said, pulling him off of Amanda. Nick wanted to just keep kissing her, but AJ wasn't having it.

"Okay, you lovebirds. Break it up."

"Nick, you have to go." Amanda said, tears forming in her eyes. Nick looked at her....it was the saddest look she had ever seen as he picked up his carry on bag and headed for the terminal. He stopped to blow her a kiss and she pretended to catch it...waving goodbye. He turned and walked onto the plane, Amanda finally feeling the tears flowing down her cheeks. It was breaking her heart to see Nick go off without her...completely on his own. She and AJ watched the plane take off.

"There he goes." AJ whispered.

"He'll be back....." Amanda said with a smile. AJ nodded and put an arm around her as they walked.

"It's like watching your kid go off to college or something like that." he said.

"Jay, that's just weird."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah......you think he will be okay without me?" Amanda asked. She had been there to protect Nick for most of his life, and now he was on his own. She didn't realize how hard it would be for her to see him go.

"He will do just fine. Nick will come back a whole new person." AJ pointed out.

"I just hope he's still my Nick." Amanda said wistfully. She didn't want him to change too much.....but she knew he had some growing up to do. With or without her.

Chapter 16



Nick landed in LAX airport that afternoon, it was a five and a half hour flight from Florida to California. He was confused and lost on his own there, it wasn't like the Newark Airport in New Jersey at all. Everything was different than back home....but AJ was right about the palm trees as Nick looked out the windows. He found baggage claim and a limousine was waiting for him, sent by the record company. Nick was amazed at the size of his apartment, it was large and completely furnished. He called Amanda once he was somewhat settled into the apartment.

"Its so nice...and everything is close by....there is a supermarket up the street. I'm going to try and look for the recording studio tomorrow, I start on Monday." Nick told her, smiling as he sank into his couch cushions.

"I'm happy for you, Nick. Give me a call tomorrow, I have to go to class." Amanda said before they hung up. Later that night, Amanda was woken up by her phone ringing.

"Amanda?" a scared voice whispered on the other end of the line. She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, it was around 2 in the morning.

"Nick...do you know what time it is?" she hissed angrily. She was horrified to hear gunshots in the background as Nick talked.

"I want to come home..." he told her.

"What's going on over there? Are you okay?" Amanda asked, fully awake now. It sounded as if Nick was hiding, his voice a bit muffled. More gunshots and the sound of broken glass broke the silence.

"There's a fight outside. They just broke a hole through my window." Nick said nervously.

"Get low to the ground and away from the windows. Did you call the police?" Amanda asked, yawning. She had class in a few hours and was already dead tired, but Nick needed her.

"The police should be coming...Amanda I don't like it here. I want to come home." he repeated.

"Nicky, you have to give it more than one day. I am sure things will be better tomorrow." Amanda said, smiling. The two of them talked until he finally fell asleep about 5:30 in the morning.


"Excuse me, could you tell me where Moonshine Studios is?" Nick asked the cashier at Whole Foods the next morning. He was scouting out the recording studio, but having no luck whatsoever.

"I'm sorry, sir...I don't live around here. I just got transferred." the lady behind the counter explained. Looking defeated, Nick turned around to leave. He walked right into someone, causing them to drop their groceries.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" Nick said, helping to pick up the bread and cereal that had fallen. He looked up and gasped as he stood, it was JC Chasez. He knew of JC because Amanda was a big fan of his for a long time. She always said he was an amazing singer and Nick had become a fan as well.

"You're...you're JC..." Nick muttered, trying to keep his composure. He had never met anybody famous before in his life. Nick remembered JC from Amanda's bedroom back in New Jersey...she had pictures of him on the door. He was a successful solo artist, something that Nick dreamed of becoming.

"Yes, I am. I couldn't help overhearing you...may I ask why you're looking for Moonshine Studios?" JC chuckled with a warm smile as she shook Nick's hand. He was handsome, dark hair and blue eyes, designer clothes. Nick felt embarrassed wearing his worn out jeans and baggy shirt, his hair in disarray.

"I am a bit lost, I'm supposed to be recording there on Monday, I just got signed last week." Nick explained nervously.
"Really? That's great! What label?" JC asked. He seemed interested in what Nick had to say as they talked.

"RCA. I had an audition in New York last week and I got signed." Nick told him. JC paid for his groceries and they walked outside. It was a warm day, considering that it was nearing the end of fall. Nick was impressed with JC's car, it looked expensive. Nick thought of his clunker back home and blushed.

"Well, I'm on the same label as you. Guess I will be seeing you around, then. What's your name?" JC asked.

"N-Nick Carter."

"Have you been in LA long? I can show you where the studio is if you like."

"I just moved here yesterday, I'm from Miami originally." Nick explained.

"Wow, Florida. I used to live in Orlando. Come on, I can help you find Moonshine Studio, its not far." JC offered, opening the car door for Nick and smiling.

"Hey, would you mind taking a picture with me for my friend back home? She's a big fan of yours." Nick asked nervously. JC grinned at him.

"No problem. Is your friend good looking?" he asked. Nick didn't really feel comfortable telling JC any of this, he loved Amanda and knew she was beautiful.

"Yes she is." he said shakily. JC stood next to him and they snapped a picture with his camera phone. Nick sent it to Amanda, excited to see her reaction. Nick rode in the car with JC all afternoon, as he showed Nick all around the neighborhood and asked him all kinds of questions. Nick asked him about performing, about recording...everything he could think of. JC didn't seem to mind all of the questions, in fact he offered to help him any way he could. Nick was blown away by his kindness, he was beginning to love LA.

Chapter 17

Amanda was falling asleep in class....unable to focus on anything her professor was talking about. She was exhausted beyond belief from being on the phone all night before with Nick. When her phone vibrated in her pocket, she looked at it sleepily before her eyes snapped open. It was a photo of Nick with JC Chasez....her favorite singer and crush.

"Nick, what the hell is that picture you sent me?" Amanda asked, after she had gotten out of class. Nick was sitting in JC's silver convertible, the warm LA breeze running through his hair. He wished he had a car like this...a nice sports car was at the top of his list to buy when he got his first paycheck.

"That's JC.....I met him today." Nick replied, eating a bite of the taco he was holding. He and JC had gone to the drive thru of some random Taco Bell and were heading to his apartment.

"No you didn't. I'm calling bullshit." Amanda snapped. She did not sound amused, she was very cranky and annoyed as Nick laughed, licking the sour cream off his finger and grinning.

"Amanda, I'm in the car with him right now." he said.

"No you're not Nick, stop messing with me. This isn't funny...I'm very tired." she protested.

"Hello, Amanda!" JC said into the speaker.

"Nick....come on. I'm not in the mood for this crap." Amanda said angrily. Nick and JC laughed.

"No, it really is him! I'm sitting in his car right now....we're eating Taco Bell." Nick said. He didn't know why she chose this time to stop believing him when he had never lied to her.

"He's not lying, I'm JC."

"I'm hanging up..."

"Amanda, ask him to sing for you....have I ever lied to you before? EVER?" Nick begged. He did have a point. Amanda privately agreed that Nick was always 100 percent honest with her all the time.

"Never, Nick...never." she said in barely a whisper. JC sang into the phone and her heart skipped a beat, she could hardly contain the small excited squeal that escaped her lips.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" Amanda said rapidly...feeling like an idiot. JC chuckled.

"It's all right. Nick told me that you were a fan. Nice to talk to you...he speaks highly of you." he replied warmly.

"JC showed me where the recording studio is, we are on the same label." Nick explained happily. He knew that JC would help him with more than that, he had offered Nick help with anything he needed while he stayed in Los Angeles...JC knew how hard it was when he just started in the music industry.

"Well, I'm glad Nick has made a friend....I hope you take care of him." Amanda said, making Nick blush.

"He's a good guy. I think Nick is very talented and he will go places, mark my words." JC said wisely. Nick blushed redder still and smiled.

"JC said he would help me in the studio if I needed an opinion." he replied.

"That's awesome...but I'm very tired....I gotta get some sleep. Take good care of my Nick, JC.... There are a few people prepared to kick ass if Nick isn't happy out there." Amanda laughed.

"No problem, Nick is a cool guy." JC said. Amanda said goodbye and hung up.

"Sorry about that, she's always been sort of protective of me since we were kids." Nick explained, sipping his soda.

"Oh, I think its sweet that you have so many people supporting you....that's very important as a solo artist or even as a musician....having that support can mean a lot. As long as you don't forget who your real friends are and keep your family close, you will be just fine. Remember that, Nick...and mark my words...you will be successful." JC told him as they pulled into the driveway of Nick's apartment building.

"That's really good advice." Nick said.

"Stay true to yourself, Nick....its the best advice I can give anybody. Have a good night....I will see you in the studio in the morning and we can see just how good your songwriting skills are." JC smiled. Nick walked up the steps and grinned in amazement at everything that had just happened....his career was just starting, but JC had given him amazing advice. He would always be the same Nick....and never forget where he came from. He couldn't wait to get started and went to bed that night with a smile on his face....tomorrow, it would all begin for him tomorrow.....

Chapter 18

It had been a few weeks since Nick left to go to Los Angeles and Amanda was getting ready to go to his house for Thanksgiving with AJ. She had invited Brian as well to come....but wasn't sure how things were going to go. Lance would be joining them. She had gotten back together with her ex boyfriend after Nick left....he showed up at her dormitory and came every day until she accepted his apology and they had dinner. She finally agreed to let him back on a trial basis, and so far he had been good to her.

"Hey college girl." AJ said with a big smile when he saw her. Amanda hugged him and looked around, half expecting Nick to come around the corner. When he didn't....she sighed. Nick was unable to come home for the holidays because he had no money to do so.

"Hi Jay. How have you been?" Amanda asked. Brian was already there when she walked into Nick's kitchen...he and AJ were cooking the dinner.

"I'm doing fine, and you?" AJ replied, looking at her tired expression.

"I have been studying so much, its nice to have a break. I miss Nick tutoring me in school, it helped a lot." Amanda explained.

"Turkey's almost ready." Brian said as he checked the oven for the tenth time that afternoon.

"Where's loverboy?" AJ asked, looking for Lance who was nowhere to be seen.

"He's on his way. Thanks for letting me bring him, I didn't want him to be alone either." Amanda said gratefully. AJ gave her a smile but she knew he couldn't stand Lance at all after what he had done to her. The three of them sat at the table together and Brian cut the turkey. He led them in a small blessing and then they began to eat.

"I feel so bad Nick couldn't make it for the holidays. He must feel so lonely." Brian commented.

"I doubt it, he is probably at some party." Lance sneered. Everybody looked at him in surprise.
"What's that supposed to mean?" AJ asked darkly, his eyes narrowed. Lance stabbed at his turkey and smiled.

"He has all these new friends....living in LA and everything. He's best friends with JC Chasez now....I'm sure he's having the time of his life and forgotten Florida by now."

"That's not true. Nick wouldn't do that." Brian piped up.

"He's going to be famous, he doesn't need any of you anymore." Lance replied, not looking away from his plate as he smirked. Amanda shook her head at him, he had been acting so nicely to her and now he was being a jerk like before.

"Nick told me he was staying home and having a tv dinner tonight for your information." AJ snapped. He looked pissed off.

"Guys please don't do this, its Thanksgiving." Amanda pleaded, noticing the tension in the room.

"So? He is in Los Angeles. That's where all the other famous people are, he is probably getting himself acquainted." Lance continued.

"Shut up. That's not true." Brian protested, his attention back to his dinner.

"I'm just preparing you for the day when he drops all of you for better friends."

"What the fuck is your goddamn problem?" AJ shouted, slamming his fists on the table and making the plates clatter.

"AJ, don't." Amanda begged.

"I don't see why the three of you baby him so much. Boo frigging hoo he is all alone. Nick is an adult now. I'm sure he can take care of himself-"

"Lance! That's enough...." Amanda interrupted him. She took him by the hand and they argued before Brian and AJ heard the door slam shut and Lance's car pulling out of the driveway.

"I am so sorry you guys." she apologized as she sat back down. AJ and Brian had been whispering when she came in the room and stopped.

"You deserve better. Why did you take him back?" Brian asked. Amanda privately agreed with him, she often asked herself that question but it was better for her to be with Lance than alone. She was still hoping that Nick would come back andage could leave him.

"I love him." was all she could say.

"He's an asshole." AJ commented, ignoring her.

"Is Nick really alone for Thanksgiving, Jay?" Amanda asked. She hadn't talked to Nick that day yet. He had texted her and told her he was having a friend over.

"Yeah he is. He said he was working late tonight and hopefully the record would be finished by his birthday." AJ replied.

"I miss him. I'm usually in training when he calls me. He wouldn't forget us for real, would he?" Brian asked, his eyes fearful. Amanda hugged him, and hoped Lance was wrong but at the same time she wished Nick had someone to spend the holidays with, it was his first time living on his own. She couldn't wait to have Nick back in Florida and everything would be right again.

Chapter 19

Nick had been in LA for almost 2 months now. Even for December it was quite warm, but still somewhat cold. He was on his way to the recording studio again....the album would be done in about a month. Nick was hoping he would be home for his 19th birthday at least. Living on his own was something he had come to enjoy, but he missed home once in a while. Everything was happening so fast...but he liked that the record company was being so understanding about his feelings as well. Nick was seeing a therapist twice a week to deal with his emotional problems....he was getting help with his self esteem and confidence. The record company told him there was a lot he needed to do with himself before he was ready for touring, and Nick agreed.

"I will do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be, I want this music career and I want this album to be perfect." Nick had told them. The executives liked this about Nick. They knew he had talent and the drive. JC was helping him a lot as well, and Nick felt this was the best he had been his whole life. He felt that the new Nick he was seeing was how he was meant to be. As he got out of the car, he balanced his coffee in hand and locked it before walking up to the door of the recording studio.

"NOW!" someone shouted in a gruff voice. A net fell on top of Nick and he dropped the coffee, the contents spilling over the pavement. Nick toppled over and someone moved to grab him.

"Help!!!" he screamed, unable to break free. He managed to throw off his attacker and tried to run, but got tangled in the net and fell over.

"Grab him! Grab him!" one of them said. He noticed that one of the men was tall and thin and the other was short and muscular. They both wore ski masks. Nick screamed, but nobody came to help as he was carried off to another car waiting nearby. They tied his feet and hands before putting a blindfold over his eyes and putting him in the car.

"Where are you taking me?!" Nick demanded, unable to see anything from the backseat of the car. His cell phone was ringing but he couldn't answer it...it was Amanda calling.

"Let me go!!" Nick begged as he began to cry. He knew that if he couldn't answer his phone that Amanda would be worried. Trying not to think about it, Nick fell asleep after what seemed like a few hours.

"Get up...." the voice said suddenly, nudging him. Nick was paralyzed with fear, but his body was shaking. He sat up and the man untied him so he could get out of the car, but not his hands.

"Where are you taking me?" Nick whispered, his heart beating so hard he thought it might jump out of his chest. The man didn't answer him, he pushed him along. Nick couldn't see anything, the man just kept holding onto his arm and leading him forward.

"Keep walking." he told him. Nick started to cry again...wondering where he was and what would happen to him. It was just before Christmas....why was this happening? They went inside of a building and Nick felt his legs give out from underneath him as he fell to the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" someone shouted before running out of the room.

"Help...." Nick sobbed weakly, the blindfold covering his face.

"Oh my god....Brian? What the fuck did you do to him?" Nick's head shot up when he heard her voice. Amanda was there. He moved his head in confusion and the blindfold was taken off of his face.

"Surprise...." Brian said as he removed the ski mask on his head.

"You fucking asshole! I thought....I thought..." Nick stammered while Brian untied his hands.

"I brought you home for Christmas." he explained. Amanda saw how upset Nick was and walked over to Brian.

"Why did you tie him up and blindfold him?!" she demanded, smacking him upside the head.

"I wanted it to be a surprise....I didn't think he would fight back so much, honestly." Brian said sheepishly, shrugging. Nick looked mad but when he saw Amanda he was happy, happier than he had been in a long time.

"Wait...who was that other guy?" Nick asked, remembering the tall man who had thrown the net.

"That was JC..." Brian explained. Nick walked over to Amanda and hugged her as AJ came back into the room. Amanda was so shocked at how Nick looked....his clothes were different, his hair had gotten shorter and he was taller than she remembered. She found herself getting lost in his eyes again, all of her feelings for him coming back in the one moment he held her.

"You guys need a minute?" AJ asked, smirking.

"If I did, it would be more than a minute," Nick chuckled as he winked.

"Oh....I missed you so much, Nick. We all have." Amanda said when it had calmed down a bit. They ate dinner together....the four of them reunited.

"I missed you guys too. So much is happening....the album is almost finished and JC wants me to open for him on tour...they are still talking about it." he rambled. Amanda was surprised at how confident he sounded. After dinner Nick and Amanda sat on the couch, talking. She thought about not telling him at all....taking him back and dumping Lance. She was falling for him all over again...Nick was so good to her.

"Amanda, I have to be honest with you....after this album is done I'm going to be busy." he said suddenly. Nick had been about to kiss her but pulled away.

"Your career comes first....I don't want to get in the way." Amanda told him.

"I have worked so hard, but you can never get in the way. I like you a lot..." there was that word again. Amanda almost wanted to hit him, she wished he would just tell her how he really felt. Who was she kidding? Nick didn't love her.

"I'm going to Germany most likely....JC's tour is a world tour." he added.

"Nick, I have to tell you something." Amanda said, putting her hand on his knee. Nick sighed, he had felt this coming but hoped he was wrong.

"You're back with him, aren't you?" he whispered. He was disappointed in Amanda for going back to Lance after everything they had been through, but he guessed she just wanted someone to be with.

"Yes, Nick....he begged me for 5 days to take him back. Stood outside of my dorm room every day." Amanda laughed.

"Persistent little fucker, isn't he?" Nick commented with a smile. Amanda buried her head into Nick's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry. I wanted you and I to work." she whispered. Nick smiled but didn't say anything, he simply kissed her forehead as she rested on his shoulder. The day after Christmas, Nick said goodbye to his friends as Brian was to drop him off at the airport. JC paid for his plane ticket back to LA.

"See you in a month." Amanda said, hugging him. Letting him go was even tougher this time.

"Amanda...I know you're with Lance, but can I have just one more kiss? So I have something to remember what we had?" Nick asked. Amanda smiled, tears in her eyes as she nodded. Nick leaned in and kissed her, her lips tingling. She wanted to pull him back into the house and keep him there, but he had to go. Watching him leave, she realized how much she really loved him.

Chapter 20

Amanda was just finishing up classes for the day when she got back to her dorm and saw a brown package. Nick had sent her a gift from Los Angeles...she had a feeling about what it was. Grabbing it, she ran excitedly to her car and drove to Nick's house....he wasn't home but AJ was taking care of the place while he was recording.

"AJ!!" Amanda shouted happily, walking into the house. Nick had given her an extra key and said she could come in anytime. AJ rounded the corner in nothing but a pair of SpongeBob boxer shorts. Amanda stood there in surprise, holding back a laugh.

"Uh....don't you knock?" AJ asked, holding a plate with a sandwich on it.

"Don't you wear pants?" Amanda giggled.

"Not when there is nobody here but me..." AJ replied, sitting down and propping his feet on the coffee table. Amanda took his feet and let them drop to the floor.

"Nick would kill you if he saw footprints on his coffee table." she commented. AJ scowled and set down his sandwich.

"What brings you here anyway? Don't you have something....ah...what was it? Oh yeah....college?" he teased.

"Look what came in the mail today!" Amanda squealed happily, holding up Nick's CD. He was on the cover, standing barefoot on a beach with a sunset behind him.

"I got one too," AJ said as he pointed to the brown package on the coffee table. Amanda was so proud of Nick, holding the CD in her hands and looking at his picture....he looked so professional and happy.

"Wanna listen to it with me?" she asked excitedly. AJ laughed and agreed.

"Go put some clothes on first." Amanda teased as she got Nick's stereo ready. AJ returned with pants and a tank top on. He sat on the floor cross legged next to the stereo as Nick's voice came out of it.

"Help me....figure out the difference between right and wrong, weak and strong...day and night, where I belong." AJ said after listening for a bit.

"He wrote all the lyrics....that's unheard of for a solo artist just starting their career." Amanda pointed out. Nick was only 19 and had written almost the whole album. She took out the lyric book and read his thank yous.

"What?" AJ asked when he saw her tearing.

"Listen to this..." she said before clearing her throat.

"I have been through good and bad times....high points and low ones...but you have been there through them all. A....you are my best friend and I could never repay you for all you've given me. This album is dedicated to you...143."

"What does 143 mean?" AJ asked in confusion.

"I don't know, but its so sweet of him to say. He thanks you and Brian too, but wow..." Amanda said. She wanted to know what 143 meant, Nick was funny like that when he wrote in code.

"So do you guys like it?" a voice said behind them. Amanda turned around to see Nick standing there holding his bags, grinning at them.

"Nicky!" she squealed, running to hug him. He laughed and held her, but his heart broke a little knowing she was not his.

"The prodigal son returns....for good I hope?" AJ asked.

"No, just for a little over a week." Nick said. Amanda was a little shocked by this because she had been wishing he would come home, but she knew with his career that he would be busy and away a lot of the time.

"That's not very long." Amanda commented. Nick looked down at his feet and put on a smile for them.

"JC asked me to open for him on his world tour. I'm going to Germany next week." he said.

"Wow, that's awesome....you're legal to drink over there." AJ laughed. Nick laughed too, he knew this but he was not looking forward to going away. This time was different, there would be an ocean between him and amanda instead of one country. Amanda was concerned, Nick had never been out of the country before, but she knew JC would take care of him.

"I wish you could go to my first show," Nick said several days later when he was leaving for Germany.

"Me too...but school calls." Amanda told him sadly.

"flight 562 to Germany is now boarding." came the message over the loudspeaker.

"I have to go." Nick said tearfully. Amanda hugged him and held him tight, his long arms wrapped around her. She almost wouldn't let him go as she started to cry.

"Call me when you land, Nickolas Gene." Amanda said, smiling as tears ran down her face.

"I will...." Nick said, laughing. When he landed in Germany, it was very cold. He shivered as he waited for JC to meet him, who had taken a different flight but was landing not long after him.

"Hi, Nick. You okay? How was your flight?" he asked after they collected their bags.

"Not really....I wanted Amanda to come to my first show..." Nick started, stopping to yawn from the jet lag.

"So invite her, I will pay for her ticket." JC offered.
"Good luck getting her to leave school, college is important to her and I don't want her to fail." Nick laughed.

"I can fix that." JC muttered as they walked out of the airport and into the waiting limousine.

Chapter 21

"Hello, Nick. How was your flight?" Amanda asked when Nick called late that afternoon.

"This is JC...."

"Okay, but why are you using his phone? Is he all right?" she wondered, knowing that JC had her phone number and could call her.

"He is just nervous about his first show...how would you like to come?" JC asked brightly.

"I would love that but I have school. I'm in college right now, and I can't afford to fly off to Germany whenever I feel like it." Amanda explained. She felt horrible missing Nick's very first performance and wanted to be there, but school was important to her.

"I can pay for your flight." JC offered, his tone determined.

"JC, it's not that simple. I have school." Amanda laughed. She got off the phone with him and went back to studying. Later that day, she was called down to the Supervisor's office. Amanda was nervous, she had never been in there and wondered what she had done.

"Amanda? Take a seat." Miss Garth said, smiling.

"You asked me to come down here?" Amanda replied shakily, sitting down.

"We would like to offer you our study abroad program. You have been doing so well that you were chosen for it." Miss Garth told her. Amanda just blinked in surprise.

"M-me?"

"Yes. You are going to Germany on a study program, you may stay there for one semester. The expenses have been taken care of." Miss Garth said.

"Really? This is amazing...thank you so much." Amanda replied happily, hardly able to contain her excitement.

"Oh don't thank me. Thank your friend Joshua Chasez for his generous donation to our school." Miss Garth smiled as she let Amanda out of her office. Amanda grinned, she would be seeing Nick after all.



"I can't do this, JC...." Nick said as he sat down on the edge of the stage, his long legs dangling over the side.

"Of course you can, I have seen you sing, Nick. You can do it." JC smiled. Nick twirled the microphone in his hands, feeling uneasy.

"It's not that, I just...I..I have never....well..." he said sheepishly, blushing.

"Wait, don't tell me you've never performed before. Are you serious?" JC asked. Nick looked down at his feet and nodded, his stomach churning from stage freight. He had never performed in front of a crowd before and wondered why the record company was throwing him into it all of a sudden.

"No I haven't." Nick replied in barely a whisper.

"Oh wow. Okay, well we are gonna have to work on a few things then. I want you to have a great first show." JC smiled. Nick grinned, he could count on him for anything, he was glad JC was there to help. He just wished Amanda was there too.


Amanda was brought to the venue from the airport, her luggage as well since she would be staying on Nick's bus. She went back stage to find JC talking to his manager.

"Amanda! How was your flight? So nice to meet you!" he said, hugging her. Amanda wasn't prepared for this and let out a little squeak of excitement.

"N-nice to meet you too, JC. I'm a big fan." she managed to get out once she had calmed down a bit. She could hear Nick's voice drifting in from the other room and he sounded amazing.

"He's been so nervous about this show, I thought he could use some support from home." JC smiled as they watched Nick from backstage.

"Nick is shy...this tour will be good for him, I know it." Amanda said. Nick was finished singing and turned to walk towards her. When he saw Amanda, he dropped the microphone and ran to her, picking her up.

"You're here! How did you...." he stammered excitedly.

"Thank JC for getting me out of college...sort of. I'm studying abroad, just for the semester." Amanda replied. Nick was overcome with emotion, he was sure that his first show would be good...but he couldn't help but think that Amanda being here would start trouble.

Chapter 22


"I can't....I can't do this....look at all the people out there." Nick stutterred nervously as he looked out from behind the curtain backstage. He was wearing jeans and a light blue button down shirt, a white tank top underneath. His hair was done up nicely, his stylist had cut it that morning. He had stage makeup on and looked very professional, but to Amanda he was the same Nick she grew up with. He was shy and nervous, pacing the floor backstage as he patiently waited for his turn to go out. The small arena was packed with JC's fans. Nick hoped they would like him....he wanted this to go well...it was his first time performing for a crowd and his nerves were shot. He took a breath and shook it away but it was still there, the knot in his stomach. Amanda came over and put an arm around him, rubbing his back gently.

"You will be okay, Nicky." she whispered, using the nickname she called him. She had been calling him Nicky for a long time, she was the only one who used it. He smiled at her, his eyes looking wearily at the curtain again.

"You're up in five minutes, Carter." a stagehand said, running past them. Nick squeaked and beads of sweat formed on his face.
"If you get nervous, just look at me. I will be front row, center. You will be okay, just be yourself." Amanda coaxed him before heading to her seat. Nick stood at the edge of the stage, hearing the crowd outside as his heart began pounding under the tank top. He wiped his clammy hands on his jeans and took another breath, but before he could exhale a hand pushed him out onto the stage. He was met with silence. Blank stares from thousands of eyes looked at him...and he heard them whispering. Nick froze on the stage like a deer caught in the headlights of an on coming car. Amanda stood in her spot near the stage watching him. He was pale and she could tell he wanted to run.

"Come on, Nicky...pick up the guitar." she thought, watching as he strolled over to the microphone stand. He found the stool and smiled nervously.

"You gotta be kidding me." one of the girls nearby whispered, and they laughed. Some of the crowd was laughing at Nick as he then knocked over the mic stand, causing it to screech with feedback.

"Sorry." he said nervously as he picked it up and sat down on the stool, balancing the guitar on his knee.

"Well, he is hot...I will give him that." another girl sneered, looking at him as if he didn't know what he was doing at all.

"Uh....hi..." Nick said nervously, adjusting himself on the stool and trying to calm himself.

"I'm Nick Carter....I'm going to sing a few songs if that's okay with you." he added. Amanda grinned, he was cute when he was shy. Nick held the guitar and began strumming the first few bars of his song "Help Me".

"I wish I could define...all the thoughts that crossed my mind." he sang. The girls in the front row started dancing after he was halfway through the song. The rest of the crowd began cheering. He smiled and kept playing, closing his eyes as he got into the music. The last song he played was "I Need You Tonight". He walked along the edge of the stage, belting it out as JC had taught him....stopping to make eye contact with girls in the front. Nick knelt down and took Amanda's hand for a verse, looking into her eyes and singing passionately. The final note of the song, Nick belted it out louder than Amanda had ever heard him sing before. He held the note so long she was worried he would run out of breath, but he didn't. His audience screamed with delight as he bowed and walked off the stage, grinning.

"Good job out there tonight." JC said once they had gone off to their buses.

"Thank you." Nick said meekly.

"You did so good out there! I'm so proud of you." Amanda told him as he smiled, looking down at his feet as his cheeks turned pink.

"Th-thanks Amanda." he mumbled. The two of them walked to his tour bus, which was smaller than JC's. Amanda was impressed by how luxurious it seemed to her, like a home on wheels...bunk beds built into the wall and a kitchen, a large bed in the back and a television.
"You must be tired." Amanda said, noticing his solemn expression.

"Yeah, I'm beat." Nick told her, yawning. Performing was not easy, as he had realized tonight.

"You did great up there, I mean it, Nick. I told you....you are a natural performer." Amanda said. She moved to the back of the bus as it began to move to their next stop. Amanda looked at the bunks and put her suitcase in one of them. Nick came out of the small bathroom brushing his teeth.

"Oh!" Amanda exclaimed when she saw him, he was only wearing his jeans and nothing else. He didn't say anything, didn't look at her. He simply grabbed a towel and headed back into the bathroom, closing the door but not shutting it all the way.

"Tease." Amanda mumbled to herself bitterly. He had been working out....his arms were more toned than last time they had been together in close quarters.

"boyfriend back home...you have a boyfriend." she thought as those feelings for Nick came rushing back. The man in question came over wearing a t shirt and boxer shorts.

"Amanda?" he said, startling her.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you want to sleep in that small bed? I have a big one in the back of the bus and there is plenty of room." Nick said. She wanted to kill him for suggesting it. Amanda looked at how his shirt clung to his body in the right places...she did not trust herself alone with him.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Nick." she said softly, backing away from him.

"I won't do anything, I swear. I will lay on the other side of the bed." Nick promised, feeling slightly hurt by the sudden coldness she was showing. The two of them lay in bed together, Nick was as far away as he could get from Amanda, not facing her.

"Good night, Nick." Amanda whispered, closing her eyes and wishing she was near him, but hating herself for it.

Chapter 23

Amanda felt safe and warm with his body next to her, snuggled under the blankets....until she woke up. It was late...she wasn't sure of the time but it was probably three or four in the morning. Nick lay next to her but she had somehow moved near him as she slept. She was practically kicking herself for letting him so close to her. Amanda knew how much she liked Nick....even loved him...but she would never betray Lance. There was one thing Amanda prided herself on and that was her morals when it came to relationships. She got up carefully so she did not disturb Nick's sleeping. He was curled up on the bed, his arm resting under his head, his blonde hair partially covering his face. It had grown a bit since he had been in Florida, but it wasn't too long. He looked so peaceful, a small grin spread across his face as he slept. Amanda crept towards the hallway where the bunks were and chose one, not liking the cramped space...but it would have to do. She couldn't trust herself with him sleeping in the same bed with the history they had. Nick never pressured her but his mere presence was intoxicating to her. It was like he cast a spell on her, all he had to do was look at her and she was done. She loved it but at the same time, Amanda hated herself for even considering being with Nick. His career was just taking off....there would be no place for her in his life once he became famous.

"Amanda?" he called some hours later. She lay still in her bed, ashamed that she had gotten out of his bed and did not say anything.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked as he moved towards the bunks.

"I'm fine, Nick. I don't think its a good idea for us to sleep in the same bed. I have a boyfriend." she replied finally. She rolled over to face him. Nick looked a little disheartened as he peered down at her.

"I understand." he said before walking away. Rehearsal ran a bit long that day and Amanda went to use the bathroom as Nick finished up.

"Is Amanda seeing anyone?" JC asked when Nick walked off the stage. Nick felt his blood boil at the question. In his mind he knew how much Amanda had liked JC growing up, how she had posters of him in her room as a teenager. He felt slightly threatened by JC....because Nick knew he was more talented and more handsome than him. He liked JC as a friend but knew his place. There was simply no catching up to his mentor.

"Well....I'm not sure." Nick lied. He wanted to say Amanda was his, but fell silent and looked at his feet. Nick could barely compete with Lance, how was he supposed to compete with a famous singer?

"Ah, you like her don't you?" JC observed with a sly grin.

"I....I guess."

"No need to be ashamed, I think she's perfect for you. You and her seem to get along really well."

"We do?"

"Sure. I can see it....you make her happy. She makes you happy too, I notice a difference when you're with her and when you're with me." JC pointed out.

"No offense, but you're not my type." Nick laughed, holding up his hands in front of him.

"I'm being serious, if you like her you should tell her. Waiting too long will only hurt your chances. Amanda is a beautiful lady, I'm sure lots of guys are dying to snatch her up." JC said with the air that he was one of them.

"That's what I'm afraid of....I am afraid she doesn't feel the same way, you know? She has history with me but she keeps choosing this guy back home."

"Does he treat her well?"

"No. He hates me....used to pick on me when we were kids. He's not good for her. I don't know what to do about any of this, JC. I think she likes me but she won't let me see that she does....she keeps pushing me away." Nick replied with a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. He hated having feelings for someone that didn't know it....it killed him but he was afraid to tell Amanda. He knew he was good enough for her, but he was determined to prove himself worthy.



"SHE WHAT?" Lance shouted, jumping up from his seat on the couch. Joey looked at him timidly, cringing.

"She....well...Amanda is in Germany with Ni...with him." he explained. Lance's face flushed with anger, his green eyes narrowed.

"Son of a bitch. She fucking lied to me again. Amanda told me she was studying abroad this semester. How did you find out?" he demanded.

"I overheard her talking to AJ on the phone. She's touring with him and that Chasez guy. Someone paid for her to fly out there to be with him." Joey replied, picking at a hole in the couch cushions. Sure Nick had given him a place to live....and he was very kind to him...but Lance was his best friend. Joey harbored no ill feelings about Nick...he just felt that it was his job to let Lance know what was going on between him and Amanda.

"I can't believe this. After all I did to make sure he was as far away from her as humanly possible...she goes on fucking tour with the bastard. How can she do this to me?" Lance fumed, pacing the floors.

"I thought your uncle was taking care of the whole thing?" Joey asked. Lance practically growled at the thought of his uncle.....the person managing his enemy.

"Well if he thinks life on the road is so cozy...one phone call and it will be a living hell....I promise you that." Lance sneered.
"Nick's in love with her, Lance....you can't change that." Joey told him meekly.

"I can make sure he won't be able to go near her. Just wait until she comes back....I will take care of everything....don't you worry. Nick Carter will regret ever laying eyes on my girlfriend."

Chapter 24

Amanda was loving life on the road with Nick and JC. She was learning a lot from the cities they stopped in, Nick would try to come and explore with her when he was free, but she had noticed they increased his work load. Interviews, television appearances and rehearsals clogged up all of Nick's free time. He was becoming tired and she cold tell he was not happy. Nick acted like everything was fine but one night Amanda heard him crying in the bathroom as he talked to AJ on the phone.

"I want to come home." was all he could say though tears. In front of Amanda and JC he simply carried on like nothing was wrong, but the dark circles under his eyes and his worn expression said it all.

"Nick?" Amanda asked one morning about three weeks into the tour. He was usually up before her but this time he lay in bed with the covers over his head.

"Uhhhhnnnn" he moaned, not moving from his spot at the back of the tour bus. Amanda got up and walked to the bed, he was very pale.

"Nicky? Are you okay?" she asked. He gently pulled the covers off his face. His eyelids were half open and his face was flushed, sweat on his forehead. Nick coughed and moaned again. Amanda moved towards him and gently touched his forehead, he definitely had a fever.

"I'm cold." he said softly, coughing. Nick looked at his watch and then started to get up from the bed, but he felt dizzy.
"You shouldn't get up." Amanda scolded him in a motherly sort of way.

"I have reh-reh-ACHOO!" Nick sneezed. He sat up and held his stomach. He felt so nauseous it was like his stomach had gone inside out.

"Nicky, please don't get out of bed. You are obviously sick. How are you going to sing?"

"I....I can...oh god." Nick protested. His hand flew to his mouth and he stumbled to the bathroom where Amanda heard him vomiting.

"You're not going!" she called to him, walking to the bathroom. Nick lay crumpled on the floor, leaning on the toilet...his tousled hair laying in damp strings around his sweaty face. He sobbed as he held onto the toilet.
"Amanda....I have to go to rehearsal....don't let Adam see me like this..." he begged. Amanda helped Nick back to the bed and covered him up.

"You're staying in bed and I mean it." she instructed.

"Carter! You're ten minutes late....what are you doing? Get a move on!" Adam's voice shouted from the front of Nick's bus. He was an older man with bright green eyes...Amanda thought he looked familiar but shook it off.

"I'm....I'm coming..."

"He's not going, can't you see he is ill?" Amanda pointed out.

"I don't give a rat's ass what he feels like. The show must go on." Adam snapped, pushing her out of his way as he walked to Nick's bed.

"Adam, I..."

"No excuses, get dressed." Adam told him. Nick's eyes widened a bit and he threw the covers off himself, shivering.

"How can you do this to him? He's been tired for the last few weeks and you're running him into the ground! He's only 19!" Amanda said exasperatedly.

"When he signed that record contract he agreed to comply with our rules and regulations. Most performers sing even when ill. Carter is no different from them. He will be on that stage and that's final." Adam shouted. Amanda shook her head at him and stormed off the bus to find JC, who was inside the arena doing a soundcheck.

"Where's Nick? Is everything okay?" JC asked when he saw her.

"How can you let them do this to him? I thought you were his friend?" Amanda shouted, an inch from his face. He backed away, a little intimidated by her.

"I am not in control of Nick, talk to Adam. He is his manager." JC explained.

"Bullshit. Nick has the flu and Adam is making him perform. Haven't you noticed Nick is being overworked? You promised me he would be taken care of!"

"Amanda...you're overreacting a bit, aren't you?"

"Not in the slightest, JC. Aren't you the headliner for this tour? You're as much at fault as that asshole of a tour manager he has!" she screamed.

"Look...I have performed when I was sick too. It comes with the job. Surely Nick knew what he was getting into when he signed those papers in New York." JC said calmly.

"I don't care what you did. Nick is very ill. He has his fucking head in the toilet and you expect him to sing? I thought you cared about him, but obviously you don't. Now go and talk to Adam or you will not only have one less fan, I will tell the tabloids what kind of people you have working with you." Amanda demanded, crossing her arms. JC finally followed her to the bus where they saw Adam yelling at Nick.

"Carter, if you don't get to that stage you will be dropped from the label. You will never sing another song, I can make sure of it..." he shouted.

"But....you don't..." Nick protested weakly.

"ADAM!" JC screamed. They heard Nick sobbing in the bathroom as he emptied his stomach once more.

"What do you want, Chasez? This doesn't concern you or her. She has no business being here anyway, this is no joy ride." Adam sneered, looking at Amanda. She pushed past him to console Nick, who was saying how sorry he was and don't fight over him.

"Shhh, its ok...nobody is mad at you." she said kindly as she rubbed his back. Adam and JC argued in the hallway.

"Nick is tired. You don't see that?" the singer admonished.

"I want to go home." Nick whispered, clinging to Amanda like he was ten again. He looked awful, like death warmed over. Amanda scooped him up, his arm around her back for support....leading him back to the bed again.

"Carter is overreacting." Adam said, completely ignoring Nick's coughing fit.

"He is sick. He is not singing today....this is MY tour. So unless you want me to go to Dante about all of this..I suggest you back the fuck off of him." JC said, his finger in Adam's face as he pushed him into the wall.
"Get out." JC finished before the manager could say anything. Amanda decided to take care of Nick that night instead of studying. She felt horrible for him to go through all of this for a record deal, but was proud of Nick for being strong and enduring all of it.

"Thank you JC. I really appreciate what you did and I'm sorry."

"Its okay, Amanda. That guy has had it in for Nick all this time....I will talk to Dante, Nick's manager. Adam is just the tour manager, he can be replaced, I will see to it. Just have Nick concentrate on getting better, he looks awful." JC replied before leaving. Amanda heard Nick vomit again.

"Glamorous life of a rock star..." she sighed as she headed to the bathroom with a towel, not wanting to trade this trip for anything.

Chapter 25

Amanda had been on the road with Nick for almost two months. After the incident with the manager, Everything seemed to work out just fine. Nick was happier. Amanda said goodbye and flew home to Florida. Since she had come back early, Nick said she could stay with AJ until she went back to school. On the second day back...Lance showed up at the house with a bouquet of roses for her. He knew exactly what he was doing. Lance wanted Amanda for himself.


Nick and JC were in Japan on tour. He had fallen in love with the country almost at once....it reminded him of New York. Nick had been on tour for a while now and it was almost over. JC was in talks with his management to maybe get Nick to open for the US leg of his tour as well. Nick liked the idea but he missed his friends and especially Amanda. It was her he missed most and being away from her....Nick realized he never wanted to be away from her again.

"JC? Can I ask you something?" Nick said one morning when they were sightseeing in Tokyo.

"Sure, Nick."

"What do you think of Amanda and me? Do you think she's good for me?" Nick asked. The two men stopped in front of a jewelry store. Nick looked at the rings in the display case and his eyes fell upon a silver band with a diamond in the middle. It was perfect.

"Amanda's a great girl and I know she makes you happy. You two would be perfect together. JC watched Nick as he looked at the ring in the window.

"You're not thinking of asking her to marry you are you?" he asked. Nick smiled, nodding slowly.

"I'm in love with Amanda. I can't imagine her not being in my life...I'm gonna tell her how I feel when I get back home." he explained. Nick had been planning the moment for the last week and a half, rehearsing the speech he was going to make. He wanted it to be perfect. Nick knew Amanda would be happy once she heard him say the three magic words.

"That's great, Nick."

"I think she loves me back.....I gotta tell her."

"So when did you realize how you felt? I know you and her have known each other for a long time." JC said. He knew Amanda and Nick would end up together but now did not seem like the right time. Nick's career was just beginning...everything was happening all at once.

"Amanda was my first kiss......and she....she chose me to be her first." Nick whispered. He smiled as he remembered prom night...he had a history with her. Lance couldn't compete with that.

"You slept with her?" JC asked. Nick grinned again.

"She's wonderful....I want to ask her to marry me. I love her." he replied.

"Nick...that's really sweet and all....but you never went on a date with her. Maybe you should stop and think about this first." JC said as Nick went into the jewelry store.

"No, I know what I'm doing. Amanda will be so surprised when she sees this." Nick said. JC couldn't help but think he was making a big mistake.


The next morning Lance and Joey were playing basketball, they tried to hang out once in a while. Joey debated about what he was going to tell him...but he decided he had to.

"Lance...how are things with you and Amanda? Did she agree to move in with you?"

"It went so good. I got her wrapped around my finger. She will forget about him when I am done." Lance smiled, going for the rebound.

"I don't know. I heard AJ talking to him on the phone. Nick's going to propose." Joey said. Lance stopped mid jump and missed the basket completely.

"WHAT?" he said, lunging for Joey's shirt.

"Hey....don't kill the messenger. Nick told AJ that he's proposing. He bought her a ring, bro." Joey said, his brown eyes wide and fearful. Lance let go of him and practically growled with anger.

"How could this happen?" he said shakily. Joey set the ball down and ran a hand through his hair.

"I told you he loves her. He won't stop until he is with Amanda. Got to admire his spirit." he said with a smile. Joey didn't want to be a snitch but Lance was his best friend.

"Well, I will take care of his spirit, don't worry. When I'm done with Nick Carter....he will never go near her again." Lance snapped. He had a few more tricks up his sleeve. After all, all was fair in love and war. Amanda did not have a ring on her finger...and Lance was determined to make sure he beat Nick to it.

Chapter 26

Amanda wasn't sure what to expect from this dinner with Lance, but she agreed to it anyway. He took her to the Olive Garden...not exactly a fancy place but it was better than nothing. Lance hated to spend money. He was always very careful how much he spent on Amanda, always going with the cheap way out. She didn't mind this, as Amanda didn't care about money...but she wished he put a little more effort into impressing her. Amanda had grown to not expect much at all in terms of romance with her boyfriend. He worked long days at the computer software company in Miami....he fixed computers and built them, and sometimes did technical support as well.

"Amanda, we have been together for almost two years, haven't we?" Lance said suddenly. Amanda had been zoning out, barely touching her pasta.

"Hmm? Oh yes. Yes we have." she said, pretending to be interested. Lance smiled at her and took her hand in his.

"I love you, Amanda. I think it is time to make the next step..." he continued, getting down on his knee in the middle of the crowded dining room. People were staring as Lance took the ring out of his pocket and held it up to her.

"Will you marry me?"

Amanda was silent for a few minutes, blinking at him in surprise. Lance was looking up at her expectantly, still smiling.
"I....uh...this is kind of sudden, honey." she whispered.

"I love you...I think it is time we took the next step." Lance told her. He saw her eyes searching and knew she must be thinking about him.

"Yes....yes I will." Amanda replied shakily as he placed the ring on her finger. People were clapping and Amanda had never felt more awkward than she did now. She was not smiling and Lance picked up on this so he kissed her. That night when she got home from the dinner, Amanda looked at the ring and cried. She cried until her phone rang.

"Hey, Nick." she said. Lance stood in the other room listening, wanting to burst into the room and yell at her for talking to him.

"You're coming home? That's wonderful news." she said, a smile appearing on her face.

"Yeah I'm flying home from Japan. I can't wait to see you." Nick told her. Lance frowned, listening on the other phone.

"I can't wait to see you either. I missed you." Amanda said.

"Can you pick me up from the airport? I'm flying in Friday morning." Nick asked. Lance did not like the sound of that at all. If Nick had Amanda alone at the airport, he would surely steal her away.

"Sure I will. Just call me and let me know your flight information so I know where to pick you up, okay?" Amanda offered. Lance felt his face flush with anger at this. He did not want her anywhere near that airport. He didn't want her anywhere near Nick either. Lance hung up the phone and smiled. If that was the way Nick wanted to play, so be it.


Nick couldn't be happier as he got off the phone with Amanda. Twirling the ring in his hand...he let the diamond catch the light and grinned as it glittered. He couldn't wait to see her again.

"She will love it." he told himself as he put the ring back into its little velvet box. He was packing to go home to Florida after a few months of touring with JC Chasez. Nick would miss performing every night, but he was happy to be going home for a while and seeing everyone. He had called Brian that day as well. Brian was at the police academy...he was doing well by the sound of things. Amanda was doing well in college. AJ had become manager of the tattoo place where he worked. Nick looked around the bus for anything he might have let slip.

"You okay?" JC asked, appearing behind him.

"I am not sure about telling her how I feel....do you think I'm doing the right thing?" the younger of the two men said, sitting on the bed.

"Of course you are. I think its a great idea....but you shouldn't propose....especially since you never went on a date with her."

"Isn't love enough? JC, this is the only girl I have ever been in love with. She completes me in a way nobody could understand...we are meant for each other. I'm telling you...one day I will marry her." Nick said, sounding much older than he was. At nearly 20 years old, he felt it was the perfect time in his life.

"That's great and all, but as your friend...I feel like you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Just wait a bit before doing something so drastic. Trust me." JC replied, a hand on Nick's shoulder.

"I know what I'm doing. I'm gonna tell her everything....you will see. I am not like Lance....I'm so much better for her and I will prove it to her." Nick said. He felt confident that everything he had planned would win Amanda over...as he continued packing the suitcase he called her and left her a message.

"I'm coming into gate 26. 9:00 Friday morning, Terminal C. I can't wait to see you again...I have so much to tell you." he said before hanging up and zipping up the suitcase. It was going to be a long flight and he hoped everything would be worth it in the end.


The answering machine was blinking when Lance came home from work and Amanda was taking a shower. He played the message and laughed.

"I don't think so, Carter." he muttered before walking away. He couldn't wait to see what would happen tomorrow morning....when his plans finally went into action.

Chapter 27

Nick was whistling as he got off the flight from Tokyo and walked from the terminal to the baggage claim. He stopped and sat down to wait for Amanda, grinning and taking out the velvet box from his carry on bag.

"Today's the day." he said as he looked at the ring again, feeling nervous but excited all at once. On the flight home he had planned out exactly what he would say to her, down to the last detail. It was going to be perfect.


Lance hovered over Amanda in the bed and smiled as he kissed her gently. Amanda returned it...she felt so comfortable at that moment.

"I love you." she said, touching his face with her hand.

"I love you too." Lance told her as he lay next to her and they cuddled and kissed again. Lance looked at the clock on the wall and smiled.


"Where could she be?" Nick wondered aloud. His flight had been on time and Amanda didn't answer his phone calls. It was going on 11am and she had not come to pick him up. When noon rolled around, Nick called Brian to come get him.

"Thanks for picking me up, I have been here for almost 4 hours." Nick said softly, his voice worn. Brian saw his red rimmed eyes and knew something wasn't right as he helped Nick with his bags.

"Nick, what's wrong? You seemed so happy when I talked to you last night."

"Amanda was supposed to pick me up but she never came to get me." Nick said sadly. They got into the car and Brian didn't ask where he wanted to go, they simply sat there in silence. Nick looked gloomily at the road in front of them, he was tired from the flight and grumpy but wanted to see Amanda more than anything.

"What do you have there?" Brian asked after Nick had made him stop at the florist to buy a bouquet of flowers. Nick was holding the box and looking at the ring, sighing.

"I am gonna ask her to marry me." Nick said. Brian almost went off of the road and had to regain control of the car.

"What?"

"Brian, don't kill me before I get home." Nick laughed. His friend blinked at him.

"You are asking her to marry you? Nick, I don't think that is a good idea, let's be reasonable here." Brian said, trying to keep his eyes on the road. Nick closed the box and put it in his pocket.

"Why not? I love her.....I am just going to tell her how I feel....find out if she feels the same about me." he explained. Brian didn't know what to say, he had talked to Amanda the other day....he knew she was engaged to Lance. In his opinion, Nick's plan was a heartbreak waiting to happen.

"That's great, Nick...but I think you should stop and think about this, you know? You have never been on a real date with her...you never lived together....what makes you think you are ready for marriage? You're only 20." Brian suggested. Nick nodded, he privately agreed....but he knew what he wanted. He saw no harm in trying anyway, he was determined to tell Amanda how he felt while he had the courage to do so.

"Take me to Amanda's place." Nick said after a moment of awkward silence.

"Are you sure?" Brian said, raising an eyebrow. Nick had no idea that Amanda and Lance were living together, he was asking for trouble.

"Positive. I don't care if she is dating him, I'm telling her how I feel." Nick replied sternly. Brian shook his head and made the turn for their street.

"What about your bags?"
"Just bring them to my house. I will be by there later. I gotta talk to her." Nick said, picking up the flowers and heading towards Amanda's house. Nick walked to the door and before he rang the bell, it opened.

"Lance..." Nick said timidly as he stood there, smiling. Lance came out onto the porch and nudged Nick away from the door.

"What are you doing here, Nick?" he asked, his eyes narrowed as they fell upon the flowers.

"I want to talk to Amanda." Nick said, staring back at him. He knew Lance was trying to intimidate him, but it wouldn't work this time.

"She doesn't want to see you. Why do you think she never picked you up?" Lance told him, an arm around Nick's shoulder. Nick wriggled out of it and stared at him.

"But how do-"

"How do I know? Ah, Nicky....Amanda lives with me now. I know everything. She doesn't want to see you...she wouldn't come to the door, she sent me to talk to you." Nick frowned at Lance using his nickname.

"Well I want to talk to her anyway." Nick said defiantly, heading for the door again. Lance stepped in front of him.

"Awe. Are you gonna tell her you love her? Is that it?" he asked. Nick was silent. He wondered how Lance knew everything before he said it.

"Yeah I am. So get out of my way." Nick snapped.

"Go ahead...but you are going to wish you hadn't."

"What do you mean?" Nick asked, turning around. Lance grinned. Nick had overstepped his bounds....he was going down.

"Tell me something, Nick. How are you going to take care of her? You are famous....you will be traveling all the time."

"She can come with me." Nick said. He hadn't thought about this at all.

"You expect her to give up her dreams? Her career? To what, travel around in a tour bus for the rest of her life? What about children....that is no way to raise kids." Lance continued. Nick was silent....looking at him and feeling lost.

"Come to think of it, Nick....you can't even live on your own without help. How would you provide for Amanda when you are emotionally unstable? Look at you...you're going to cry."

"I love her....I can take care of her. I damn well could treat her better than you." Nick said, fighting the urge to shed tears.

"Nick, your own parents did not even love you. What makes you think anyone would love you....Amanda sure as hell doesn't, or she wouldn't have agreed to marry me." Lance sneered. Nick's heart sank at the word "marry". It couldn't be possible....he had waited too long.

"I want....I want to talk to her." Nick said softly, looking at his feet.

"Bro, I told you....she doesn't want you. She wants me. Give it up." Lance replied, placing a hand on Nick's back.

"You will never be good for her, Nick. She needs a strong man....you're weak. You can't take care of yourself, how would you support her? Just save yourself the embarrassment." he added. Nick felt his eyes watering. He knew Lance was right....he was not strong enough to take care of Amanda.

"Nick....you're home..." Amanda's voice came from the door.

"Hi honey. We were having a little chat." Lance said, walking to her and kissing her cheek. Amanda looked at Nick, concerned as Lance went into the house.

"Are those for me?" she asked, noticing the flowers.

"Y-yeah." Nick replied, noticing the ring on her finger. He felt his heart drop completely and fought off the urge to cry in front of her.

"They are beautiful...thank you." Amanda said. She moved to hug him, but Nick backed away from her.

"Nicky..."

"I have to....I have to go." he said shakily....turning and walking away from her....she never saw him cry. Nick had never felt so awful in his life....but now he knew what a broken heart felt like.

Chapter 28

Amanda watched Nick leave and was dumbfounded. He had not looked at her that way since he was 15....since he was afraid to be touched. She went into the house and put the flowers in a vase before finding Lance in the kitchen, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"What did you talk to him about, Lance?" she asked, her hands on her hips.

"Talk about what, baby?" Amanda rolled her eyes at him as her house phone began to ring.

"Hello?"

"Brian? Why are you calling the house phone?" she asked when he started shouting into the phone.

"Your cell is off. Did you forget something this morning?" Brian asked.

"What are you going on about? I have been home all day...."

"Uh, gee...I think you forgot something at the airport....you know...6 feet tall, blonde hair....answers to Nick.." Brian snapped.

"Nick never called me to pick him up. I never got his message." Amanda said in disbelief. She looked at her answering machine and there were no messages on it.

"Did you check your cell? Nick always leaves messages when he calls, you know that, Amanda. I think something fishy is going on here. Nick looked upset when I picked him up at the airport....he was there for 4 hours!" Brian told her.

"I'm telling you, I never got a message." Amanda turned her cell on and sure enough there were 3 text messages and a voice mail from Nick. She looked into the kitchen again...Lance was way too happy. Something was wrong, she thought back to the night before. She and Lance had slept together...he was so wonderful and gentle with her. Was it all a distraction?

"Brian I have to go." she said before hanging up. Amanda would never forget how Nick looked at her....he was hurt and she wanted to know why.

Nick got home and closed the door behind him. He felt sick to his stomach.....his chest tight and his head pounding. He fell to the floor, his back sliding down the door as he began to cry....he knew Lance was right....he knew that he was not good enough to be with her.


"Lance what did you say to him?" Amanda demanded, crossing her arms.

"We were just talking about his trip." he replied.

"Don't give me that bullshit. What did you talk about?"

"I put him in his place, that's all. You're my fiancé now....he needs to move on." Lance said finally.

"Lance, you had no right telling him anything. I was going to tell him myself." Amanda replied, practically shouting. Lance got up from the kitchen table and began walking away, rolling his eyes.

"Don't walk away from me."

"He needs to learn he can't always get his way. You all baby him....especially you. Nick needs to learn to be a real man." Lance told her. Amanda blinked at him...she thought he had finally changed, but it didn't seem like it. She wanted to throw his ring back at him and tell him to fuck himself.

"Nick is more man than you will EVER be, Lance." she said without thinking. He turned around and looked at her, hate in his eyes.

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?" he asked incredulously.

"He is a real man, not you.....he knows how to treat a woman." Amanda snapped. Lance boiled with anger inside....Joey had hinted at something like this....he knew that Amanda and Nick had slept together, he just didn't know when.

"How could you lie to me like this? I thought you weren't involved with him?" Lance demanded.

"I am not involved with him, but maybe if you hadn't been dicking around and being sneaky....you would have had me first." Amanda said before walking away. Lance was shaking with anger as he watched her leave the room. Nick had taken her virginity....this was war.


Nick was headed for his bedroom when he heard a knock at the door, more like pounding. He knew it was a bad idea but went to answer it. When Nick opened it, he was grabbed by his neck.

"You fucking bastard. You couldn't stay away from her, could you?" Lance barked at him....tightening his grip. He threw Nick into the wall and held him there. Nick gasped for air and shook his head in protest.

"I....but....I-"

"You're going to wish you never looked at my fiancé."

"Let....let me..." Nick cried, struggling.

"Let you go? I'm going to let you go all right." Lance shouted. He let go of Nick's neck and punched him square in the face. Nick fell from the force of the blow and got back up in an attempt to defend himself. He tried to tackle him but Lance punched him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him as he fell down.

"Someone help me!" Nick shouted, and Lance laughed.

"None of your friends are here now, Carter. Its just you and me." he sneered, hitting him again.

"Stop.....please..." Nick begged, trying to stop his bloody nose. Lance laughed, kicking him in the side. He lifted Nick by his shirt so that their faces met. Nick's good eye was swimming in tears....the other was black and blue.

"Stay away from her or you will get worse than this....I guarantee it." Lance whispered. Nick stared at him and simply nodded, blood dripping down his face and onto his clothes. Lance let go of him and he fell to the floor again in a heap by the staircase.


"No....stop..."

"Nick...come on..." a voice said softly. Nick felt a hand on his shoulder as he opened his eyes.

"Jay..." he whispered...everything hurt. Nick couldn't figure out how he ended up on the floor, but his head ached. AJ knelt on the floor near the stairs, trying to help him up. He felt so dizzy...he smelled blood.

"What the fuck happened to you?!" AJ demanded, looking him over. Nick's face was bleeding and his left eye swollen shut. Nick just looked at him and began to cry in heaving sobs...AJ didn't know what else to do but hug him. After he helped Nick clean up in the bathroom, AJ calmed him down a bit.

"Who did this to you? What happened?" he asked. Nick looked away from him, his face swollen and bruised.

"You can tell me, Kaos."

"Lance attacked me."

"That son of a bitch. We gotta tell Aman-"

"NO!" Nick shouted suddenly.

"Why not?" AJ asked, frowning at him. Nick began to cry again, the pain coming back once more as he remembered what Lance told him. Amanda would never love him like he loved her...

"It's over, AJ. There is no me and Amanda...and it's going to stay that way." he said tearfully.

"You can't just give up. I thought you loved her." AJ said...hugging him again.

"I have to let her go. It's over....I was only fooling myself. She will never love me. It will be better if I stay away. Please don't tell her anything...." Nick begged.

"But Nick-"

"Promise me."

"I promise I won't tell her." AJ replied...he knew Nick was making another mistake cutting himself off from Amanda, but he would have to figure it out on his own. AJ just hoped that this phase he was going through was only temporary.

Chapter 29

A few weeks went by and Amanda wondered why Nick stopped calling her. He cut off all communication, he wouldn't answer texts or emails, facebook messages...phone calls were sent to voice mail or the answering machine. She had to follow him on twitter to keep up with what he was doing.


Posted at 8:25pm

@nickcarter: sometimes letting go is hard but its part of life. 143.


Amanda teared up, knowing the message was for her. She had no idea what caused him to just shut her out completely. All Amanda knew was the day he came back from Tokyo and how he looked at her, it made her sad thinking about it. She scrolled more through Nick's twitter as she heard Lance come home.

Posted at 5:00pm

@nickcarter: about to begin rehearsals for my US tour with @JCChasez Can't wait!

Nick was going on the next leg of the tour with JC....Amanda felt hurt that he didn't talk to her about it. She remembered long conversations about his music...how he would tour and get famous...how he would never forget her. All that seemed like a lie now. Amanda slowly became more depressed as the days passed. Lance didn't seem to notice or care at all. He was too busy with college and his internship at a computer company. One day, Brian showed up on her doorstep. Amanda smiled at him, but he reminded her of Nick.

"What's up? How you been doing?" he asked brightly.

"I miss him, Bri."

"I know you do....but I don't know what is going on. He hasn't talked to me much either. Did you try calling him?" Brian asked as he came inside the house.

"AJ always says he is out. I don't like not having him around." Amanda said with a sigh.




"Hey why the long face? US tour starts tonight." JC laughed as he came across Nick laying on the couch in the dressing room, his hands folded behind his head as he looked up at the celing and sighed.

"I dunno." he mumbled softly. He sat up when JC walked over, looking at him and sighing again, running a hand through his freshly cut hair. He was not used to it being so short...nor spiked slightly with hair gel.

"Why don't you call your friends and invite them to the show?" JC asked.

"She won't come."

"I thought you proposed to Amanda."

Nick pulled the silver chain from underneath his shirt. A small silver and diamond ring hung there. He held it tight in his fist and put it back, his eyes watering.

"You didn't?" JC asked in surprise. Nick shook his head and JC patted his back.

"Why not? I thought you loved her?"

"She is engaged....she and I can't be together....she doesn't love me." Nick said softly, wiping his eyes.

"So? Tell her anyway. Steal her away." JC smiled. Nick looked at his feet, thinking. Sure it sounded good now...but he thought of Lance attacking him and decided it was not a good idea.

"I can't. Amanda and I won't ever happen." he replied. JC had already sent tickets to Brian to get Amanda there, he knew they needed each other.



"So what are you doing tonight? Feel like going to a concert with me? I got front row center." Brian asked, holding them up.

"What concert?" Amanda asked, feeling a bit better.

"That JC Chasez guy you like. He sent me tickets to the first show of his tour. Amanda seemed angry....Nick would be there and she wanted to see him, but he wouldn't want to see her and it hurt.

"No way."

"Amanda, the two of you need to talk." Brian said, tucking the tickets into the back pocket of his shorts.

"He doesn't want to see me, Brian. Nick and I are over." she replied. All of a sudden she felt cold metal on her wrists, when she looked down...Brian was placing handcuffs on her.

"What are you doing?" Amanda demanded. Brian led her outside to his car and locked her in as if she was being arrested.

"You two need to stop avoiding each other and talk. You're going to see him whether you want to or not, and whether he wants to see you or not." he said as he slammed the door behind her.

"This is an abuse of power! Let me out of here!" Amanda screamed as Brian pulled out of the driveway. She yelled at him the whole way to the arena where JC and Nick were playing. Brian led Amanda backstage as she protested. She saw Nick near the curtain, he had gotten a hair cut and was wearing a t shirt and jeans. He looked very grown up and she stood there, gawking at him until he noticed her.

"Let me go, Brian....please...." she whispered, her eyes tearing. Nick came towards them and his eyes fell on the handcuffs.

"Brian...what the hell did you do? Let her go." Nick asked, frowning at him. Brian unlocked them and Amanda rubbed at her sore wrists.

"I will get you back for this." she said. Nick rubbed the back of his head, trying to figure out what to say to her.

"Hey."

"That's all you have to say to me, Nick? You avoid me for weeks and all you say to me is hey?!" Amanda shouted as Nick cringed.

"I didn't have a choice..." he said, shrinking back from her.

"What the hell do you mean by that? We have been friends for 10 years and you just stopped talking to me. Why?" she asked, her voice full of hurt. Nick felt horrible as she ranted....he knew every word was true.

"You're engaged now, there is no place in your life for me." Nick replied.

"Did Lance tell you that?" Amanda asked, remembering what Lance had said the day Nick returned from Tokyo.

"Lance attacked me." Nick admitted in a small voice.

"He what? Amanda asked, her eyes wide.

"He fucked me up. I had to get stitches in my lip....AJ found me and I made him promise not to tell you...Lance told me if I went near you or talked to you I would get worse. I am so sorry...I want you in my life." Nick told her, his eyes watering. Amanda couldn't blame him for this so she embraced him. Nick put his arms around her and they stood there in silence, their mistakes forgiven. Amanda watched Nick's performance a while later, cheering him on. Nick wasn't nervous as he had been in Germany...he had grown as an artist.

"The world on the outside is trying to pull me in....but they can't touch me cause I got you...." Nick sang as he took Amanda's hand. She smiled at him...they would always have each other.

Chapter 30

Now that Nick was back in her life, Amanda was a bit happier....but as the weeks passed...as she and Lance planned their wedding....they realized that they couldn't afford much. Now that Amanda and Lance lived together she was starting to see his true colors. He acted as if the woman took care of the man....as if she was his housewife. He expected dinner on the table when he came home from work, her to do laundry and clean the house....and if it wasn't, he would shout at her. Amanda was not happy at all...she wanted to cancel the wedding and tried many times but Lance always talked her out of it.

Nick was supportive of the wedding...he had tried several times to help pay for it but Lance turned him down. Finally he had purchased Amanda's wedding dress to her surprise. It was a beautiful gown....scooped low in the front with plenty of white lace and a long train...it was her dream dress. It broke his heart to give her to Lance, but Nick wanted nothing more for Amanda to be happy. On the outside she was....but on the inside she was screaming.

"What am I doing?" she asked herself one day as she drove home from college. The wedding was two days away and all she could think about was Nick. How she felt about him....the way he held her....he was slipping away and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Amanda didn't even go home...she just sped down the road...not sure where she was headed but knew one thing was for sure...she was getting the hell out.



"Amanda?" Nick said as he saw her speed through the intersection in front of them. He followed, the old car was protesting at the increase of speed....but he punched the gas.

"Holy shit!" he shouted as he nearly went off the road. Thinking quickly, he turned the wheel and stopped two feet in front of a tree. Breathing hard, Nick tried to collect himself as he saw a police car in the rear view mirror.

"Not now..." Nick begged softly as an officer stepped out and walked over.

"License, registration....oh, it's you." Brian said, poking his head in the window and looking amused. Nick was frustrated, he wanted to catch up with Amanda's car.

"Brian, I don't have time for this right now. I really have to-"

"Excuse me? I don't like your tone. You almost ran into a tree....and you were speeding...you ran a red light.." Brian rattled off, ignoring him. Nick punched the gas pedal and went speeding down the road....leaving Brian in the dust.


Amanda parked her car at the Miami International Airport....she ran inside and saw a line at the ticket counter. There were two people in front of her when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Nick asked, his face full of concern. Amanda looked at him, her eyes swimming with tears...ashamed of herself for running. She knew she should talk to Lance, but felt that there was no convincing him to call off the wedding. Invitations had been sent out....everything was ready to go, except for her.

"Anywhere but here." Amanda said, holding back tears. Nick looked at her, never seeing her as miserable as she appeared at this moment.

"Why? Why are you going.....the wedding is in two days." Nick said, not letting go of her. Amanda tugged her arm back and stepped away from him.

"I have..I have to go, Nick. Don't ask why...I just have to. I can't do this." she whispered. Nick stood there and just put his arms around her, thinking as she cried softly.

"I'm coming with you." he said suddenly.

"What?" Amanda asked, looking up at him in awe.
"You're not going alone....but where were you planning on going?" Nick asked. Amanda was blown by this...Nick wanted to run away with her...she liked it but at the same time it confused her.

"Nick..."

"Somewhere tropical?" he suggested brightly. Amanda decided as long as Nick wasn't fighting with her to stay....she might as well go along with it.

"Let's do it." Amanda said with a smile. If she was going to run away, she couldn't pick a better person to go with. Nick walked up to the ticket counter to buy their plane tickets, knowing this was not a good idea and that he should be talking Amanda out of the whole thing...but it seemed he was running on autopilot...he just went with it. Nick still wanted to be with her....but he didn't want to steal her away. He wanted to get Amanda fair and square.

"Where do you two think you're going?" a stern voice said....Nick and Amanda turned around in surprise to see Brian standing there looking angry.

"Not now, Brian. We have a plane to catch." Nick said, heading towards the ticket counter again.

"I don't think so. Where are you going? The wedding is two days away." Brian said, crossing his arms.

"Anywhere but here." Amanda replied softly.

"You're running away with Nick?" Brian asked, looking at him. Nick simply grinned at him.

"Yes. I can't marry Lance. I have to go...." Amanda said defiantly, holding onto Nick's arm. As the conversation went on, Nick realized what a mistake he was making...Amanda didn't want to be with him, she only wanted to be away from Lance.

"You're not going." Brian told her.

"Watch me."

"Nick can't go.....I didn't dismiss him. He was speeding....almost hit a tree....ran a red light...disobeying an officer..." Brian rattled off. Amanda raised an eyebrow at Nick and he just shrugged.

"Nick just apologize so we can go." she said.

"I'm afraid I can't let him off." Brian replied, taking out a pair of handcuffs. Nick's eyes went wide as Brian came over with them and put them on Nick's wrists.

"You have the right to remain silent..." Brian said as Amanda watched in shock...Nick was getting arrested in the middle of the airport. She listened to Brian, hoping there was something she could do to change his mind.

Chapter 31

Nick's eyes were fearful as Brian continued to read him his rights in the middle of the crowded airport terminal.

"Brian, please be reasonable. People are staring..." Amanda begged. Nick broke free and Brian jumped on him, tackling him to the ground as he cried out in pain.

"Stop this.....let him go!"

"He broke the law. I gotta take him in." Brian said as he cuffed Nick's wrists, one knee holding him down as Nick began to cry.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Brian?! Nick is your friend. This is not about him is it?" Amanda asked, frustrated with him. Nick looked at her, trembling.

"I might change my mind...if you promise not to leave Florida..."

"Amanda...." Nick said as tears fell down his cheek. Brian kneed him in the back and he cried out in pain.

"Please don't do this." Amanda whispered. She never meant to drag Nick into this at all. He struggled under Brian's weight, looking terrified. Amanda didn't want to marry Lance...she wasn't sure what she wanted.

"Let's go, Nick." Brian said suddenly, picking Nick off the floor and pushing him towards the door.

"No! Brian! Let him go..."

"Please..." Nick begged, sobbing. Amanda watched Nick being dragged away by Brian, thinking.

"Wait.."

"Yes?" Brian said as Nick struggled again.

"If I don't stay and I leave....what then?" Amanda asked.

"Nick has a nice cell at the station waiting for him-" Brian smirked.

"This is fucking bullshit!!!" Nick interrupted angrily.

"You are only making this more difficult for yourself." Brian told him calmly.

"No, Brian. Don't do this to him....this was my idea not his." Amanda said, feeling guilty. She was not about to let Nick go to jail for her own agenda.

"How would you feel if Lance ran off on your wedding day?" Brian asked.

"I would be pissed at him for not talking to me....but I tried so many times to break it off and each time he talked me out of it..." Amanda explained. Nick looked at her in surprise. He secretly wished that she would dump him and they could be together.

"You need to talk to him....I'm serious. Running away with Nick is not the answer." Brian told her.

"Why not? It seemed like a good idea to me." Amanda joked, but it fell flat. Brian uncuffed Nick's hands and laughed.

"I won't take him in, but if you so much as leave Florida....I will change my mind about arresting Nick." he replied. Nick rubbed at his wrists and wiped his eyes, feeling relieved.

"Deal." Amanda said, watching Brian walk away.

"Thanks for that..."

"Nick, he is right. I need to talk to Lance. What do you think?" she said, the two of them walking out of the airport.

"I....look, I just want you to be happy. Do what your heart wants...I always follow it. Lance is a jerk but he deserves to talk at least." Nick replied, though it was difficult for him. He wished they had run away together, but deep down, he knew it wasn't their time.

Chapter 32


AJ watched Nick pace the floor in his tuxedo...he was deciding whether or not to go to Amanda's wedding.

"Dude she will be upset if you don't go." AJ reasoned. Nick held the chain in one hand....the one with the ring on it. He closed his eyes before stuffing it back into his shirt and sighing.

"Okay....let's go."


Amanda flattened down her dress and looked in the mirror, sighing. Half of her still wanted to run...half of her wanted to run and find Nick....tell him how she felt. The wedding was in her backyard. Amanda and Lance couldn't afford a real wedding and she hated that nothing went right. She had dreamed of her wedding day for quite some time and never imagined it to be like this. Her father hated Lance. Amanda's parents did not support the wedding at all and made her finance it herself. After saving and a little help from Nick, she had enough to make something reasonable. She hated it.




"Hey....you over there. Come here."

AJ turned around in surprise at the voice calling to him. He saw an older man gesturing and walked to him, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Are you one of Amanda's friends?" the man whispered. AJ listened in confusion and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah. Why?" he asked.

"You don't want her to marry Lance any more than I do, right? If you object to the wedding..." the man continued in a hurried whisper.

"No way, bro. Amanda would kill me." AJ protested, backing away.

"I will give you 100 dollars if you stop them from marrying each other."

AJ smirked and shook his hand. Amanda maiming him was worth 100 bucks any day. He hated Lance and didn't want them together, everyone knew Nick and Amanda belonged together.


Lance and Amanda stood at the altar about an hour later, locking eyes with each other. He smiled, knowing in a few minutes he would win. He liked Amanda....even loved her, but his hatred for Nick surpassed it. All he cared about was crushing Nick Carter's spirit.




"If anyone should object to this union, speak now or forever hold your piece." the minister said softly. People looked around anxiously....Nick shifted in his chair. He was about to stand when AJ stood up, looking angry.

"I OBJECT!!!" he screamed, walking up the aisle.

"Oh, dear lord." Amanda said, turning pink as Lance scowled. People were looking at AJ in surprise and Nick turned red with embarrassment.

"You shouldn't marry him, Amanda....someone else lo-" AJ ranted until a hand stifled him.

"AJ, you idiot! Sit down!" Brian scolded as he dragged him to his seat while he struggled. Amanda glared at Nick and he looked away in shame. The minister continued and Nick teared when Amanda said her I do's. He felt his heart break when the music played....she walked down the aisle with Lance hand in hand...a fake smile plastered on her face. He knew she wasn't happy at all. All Nick could think about during the wedding reception was how he should have told her he loved her, the things he would have said. Amanda and Lance had their first dance and she saw Nick sitting by himself, nursing a glass of champagne.

"Hey."

"You look beautiful." Nick blurted out when he looked up at her...his cheeks flushed red.

"Thanks, Nicky. Are you okay?" Amanda asked.

"I am never going to be happy. All I want is someone to love me." Nick sighed.

"Nick...you will find her. In fact, I know someone perfect for you. Hang on." Amanda said, walking away.

"You're the one I want..." Nick whispered as Amanda brought over a shy looking woman that appeared to be their age. She blushed and smiled at him, looking down at her feet when Nick grinned at her. She was pretty, dark blonde hair and green eyes.

"Nick, this is Tracy....she and I went to school together in Jersey." Amanda explained. Nick smiled at her and she blushed redder, staying silent. He was attracted to her, but he felt so attached to Amanda that it canceled his feelings out.

"Hi." Tracy said, as Amanda nudged her to move closer. Nick stood up and shook her hand, he didn't think Tracy would ever replace Amanda, but it was a start.

"Hello, nice to meet you." he said kindly as they sat down at the table. Tracy blushed and looked at him with the kind of glossy eyes he got from his fans.

"Same. I like your music....Amanda told me you were a really nice guy too. I wanted to meet you since she told me about you, Nick."

"I saw you during the ceremony." Nick smiled, not sure if he wanted to get involved with a fan. Sure she was pretty and intelligent, they had some things in common as they got to talking...but Nick's heart was in another place.


"They seem to be hitting it off." Lance commented when he saw Nick and Tracy dancing together later on. Amanda watched them but had to admit she was a little jealous. Nick had never had a girlfriend beforw and Amanda didn't like that he was about to date someone that wasn't her, best friend or not. Who cared if she was married? Nick would always be hers no matter what.

Chapter 33

Nick walked up to Amanda's house and rang the doorbell, feeling tense. His nerves were shot, he was about to go on his first date at nearly 21 years old. He waited for a few moments, tapping his foot nervously on the wooden deck before the door finally opened.

"Oh, hi...Tracy's on her way downstairs." Amanda said. Tracy was staying with her for the time being while she looked for a place to live in Oceanview. After meeting Nick at Amanda's wedding, she decided she wanted to get to know him more and move to Florifa from New Jersey.

"So how's married life?" Nick asked, following Amanda to the living room.

"It's going fine." Amanda lied. In reality she was regretting marrying Lance in the first place and wondering why she hadn't run off to Hawaii with Nick.

"I'm ready to go, Nick."


Nick turned and saw her standing there across the room. He smiled, taking in her appearance. She wore jeans and a tank top...simple makeup and a bandanna in her dark blonde hair. Nick liked this about Tracy....she didn't like to show off. She was similar in personality to Amanda, however more reserved like he was.

"All right...let's do this." Nick said, taking her by the arm. He drove a little outside of Miami...just about a half hour or so away.

"Where are we going?" Tracy asked, smiling at him. While Amanda was thin, Tracy was a little fuller figured. She wasn't fat...she just had curves. She was a bit shyer and more soft spoken than Amanda as well.

"You'll see."


Nick brought her to a go kart track not far from Miami. He had no idea if Tracy would even like this, but it was something he liked to do.

"I don't know if you're into this sort of thing-"

"Go Karts! I love go karts, Nick! How did you know?" she said excitedly. Nick smiled at her and they went to the track. They had a fun day....going to an arcade afterwards. Nick really enjoyed himself, he hadn't had time to relax since he worked so hard. Nick brought pizza to their table and Tracy smiled at him, she thought he was such a gentleman.

"Thanks for taking me out today, Nick. I am having a great time with you." she said, taking a bite of the pizza and grinning.

"I'm having fun too." he told her. He was really enjoying her company but all he could think about was Amanda. He drove her back to Amanda's and they sat in the car for a while, talking.

"So have you had a boyfriend before?" Nick asked. Tracy was the same age as Amanda, they had been friends a long time. Nick didn't really want to come between the two girls but he was attracted to both of them.

"I had one back home but it wasn't a serious thing. I like spending time with you, Nick." Tracy replied, taking his hand. They looked into each other's eyes and before Nick knew what he was doing....he kissed her. She deepened the exchange, sucking on his bottom lip slightly as he held her and kept going. Nick couldn't believe he let it go this long, but she didn't seem to want to stop. She continued kissing and Nick thought back to when he went to New York with Amanda...the kiss they shared in the hotel room. All of these things ran through his mind and he finally pulled away from Tracy, backing up.

"What's wrong?" she asked, blinking at him. Nick looked away and blushed...he felt as if he had cheated on Amanda letting himself falling for another girl.

"Nothing. Want me to walk you to the door?" Nick asked, clearing his throat as she looked at him skeptically.

"No...but I had fun tonight, Nick. I'd like to see you again sometime if that's all right." Tracy said, holding his hand. He looked uncomfortable and she wished she knew what was on his mind at that moment.

'I'd like that too." Nick said. He kissed her hand gently and watched her walk into the house.

"Fucking hell." Nick muttered, slamming his fist on the steering wheel in frustation. Should he keep holding on for Amanda or pursue his interest in Tracy?

Chapter 34

Amanda was miserable. Being married was not what she thought it would be. Nick and her were still friends but she thought every day about how it could have been. She dreamed of what it would have been like married to her best friend, longing for his arms around her...

"Where is my dinner?" Lance demanded, breaking the silence. Amanda sighed as she went into the kitchen where Lance stood wearing a dress shirt and dark slacks from his day in the office. He had come home late and was now demanding that she cook.

"Sorry, honey....I will get right on it." she replied although she wanted to slap the scowl off of his face. Amanda often daydreamed of stealing Nick away from Tracy, her best friend. She moved down to Oceanview after Nick offered her a place to live since she couldn't find one. Amanda was jealous when she saw them kiss and hold hands, things she wanted Nick to do to her. Hell, at this point she'd let Lance do it....all she wanted was to feel loved and not treated like just a housewife.

"AMANDA!!" Lance shouted, jarring her from her thoughts.

"Coming, Lance." Amanda said. As she carried the food into the kitchen she wished she had poisoned it.




"You want to cook tonight or should I?" Tracy asked from the kitchen as Nick messed around on his keyboard. He saw her in the doorway and smiled, watching.

"I got it, I will be in in a few." he said. Life was going pretty well for him....he had a good relationship with his girlfriend, a successful music career....but something was missing. Nick picked up the keyboard and carried it into the house before setting it down on the couch. His eyes fell upon a picture frame on the coffee table....him and Amanda at prom. Nick picked it up and closed his eyes....remembering the kiss. Amanda was what he wanted more than anything, more than all the platinum records in the world.

"Hi baby," Tracy said, putting her arms around his waist and kissing his cheek. He smiled and returned it.

"Hey." he said softly. He set the picture frame down and held his shirt, where a ring on a chain lay hidden. 143.....

"You okay, Nick?"

"Yeah, just thinking about some stuff." Nick replied softly. He was happy but he still loved Amanda. Tracy was good to him and he felt he was cheating her, she wasn't getting his full heart. He thought about coming clean but another kiss jarred him from his thoughts.

"I know what would make you feel better." Tracy grinned. She lead him to the couch and began to massage his shoulders, rubbing him gently. He sighed with pleasure. He felt turned on but it wasn't the same....he didn't feel that spark he did with Amanda as he kissed his girlfriend. Tracy didn't seem to notice his mind was somewhere else. She finished kissing him and walked away, Nick looking at her in confusion.

"You know my beliefs." she replied, wagging her finger at him playfully. Nick sighed. Tracy wanted to wait until marriage to go any further than kissing. He was a little disappointed but respected her wishes. Sitting on the couch, he longed for Amanda's body to be close to his once more....to feel her hands in his hair. As he got up to cook supper, he sighed and wished Lance hadn't gotten in the way. After dinner Nick decided to visit her. He tried to hang out with Amanda every chance he could. She was still in college but on winter break so she was home.

"Want to see what I am working on for business class?" Amanda asked as he sat down next to her. He was proud of how she was doing in school, he knew how much she wanted to graduate and finish.

"Sure."

"You like it? It's a business proposal for a nightclub." Amanda said, beaming. As he read it...Nick smiled. It was well written and presented professionally.

"Wow, its amazing. Is this what you want to do after school?" he asked, setting the folder down.

"I always wanted my own business....to be my own boss and have things my way for a change. This is my dream." Amanda explained, sighing. Nick grinned....he knew just how to make it come true, but it would take a lot of money and time to put it together.

"I hope you get it someday." he replied. He looked over the blueprints Amanda had drawn up, it was time to pay her back for helping him.

Chapter 35



"Nick, I am telling you...I don't need a new car. This one runs just fine." Brian said as the two of them played basketball in the driveway during one of Brian's rare days off. He was working for the Oceanview Police Department with his father and had long hours that left him tired.

"Dude, your damn hubcaps are missing." Nick pointed out. Brian's car reminded him of the one he had owned before he became famous. The bumper hung lazily off of the dented frame, one of the windows was missing and there was nothing covering the seats in the back but an old blanket. When they rode in it, the car made an eerie screeching noise as if the car was dying a slow and painful death.

"I can't afford one right now. My dad won't loan me the money because he wants to teach me the value of a hard earned dollar." Brian said moodily, throwing the ball in anger. He and Nick watched it bounce off of the backboard and hit the car, cracking the windshield. Brian sighed and kicked at one of the tires, aggravated with everything.

"The car is a deathtrap." Nick pointed out, laughing.

"I will figure something out." Brian said. Even Amanda was concerned, she remembered the sounds Nick's car had made before it burst into flames.


"Can't you ask someone for money? What about your parents?" Amanda asked him a few days later when he pulled up to her house.

"I just got assigned to the station....I won't have much money until I get paid and that won't be for a while. I am barely making it on my own as it is with the bills and food. Nick had to buy my groceries just so I could eat." Brian said, leaning on the car as they talked in the driveway.

"Ask Nick to help you. I helped him with his car..." Amanda started, but Brian shook his head at her.

"I don't want him to think I am using him for his money." he said.

"Brian, he doesn't think that at all. Your family took him in when he needed help, I am sure he wants to repay the favor."

"I wish it were that simple. I wish a new car would just appear in my damn driveway." Brian said, sighing.



A few days later....Brian called Amanda to come over to his house, he lived in his parent's home which was across from hers.

"What's all the excitement about, Bri?" she asked, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the blue sports car in the driveway. It had white leather seats and a convertible top, brand new.

"Where did this come from?"

"I have no idea, but isn't it amazing? I can't wait to take this on the road, Amanda! How do you think it got here?" Brian said with excitement. He and Amanda sat in the front and he turned the car on, listening to the engine run. Amanda laughed when Nick's voice floated through the speakers, his album sat on the floor of the car.

"How did that get there?" Brian asked, watching her pick it up. A note was inside....


"Brian, you have helped me through so much....now its my turn to pay you back. You've earned this."

"He bought me a damn car?" Brian exclaimed as Nick walked over, grinning at them.

"Nick, if you're looking to get one for me, I want it in silver." Amanda joked. Brian threw his arms around Nick and hugged him, tears in his eyes.

"Glad you like it," Nick chuckled.

"It's wonderful, I can't believe you did this for me..."

"Brian, you deserve it.....you'd do the same for me. As for Amanda...you will get your gift soon....I am sure you'll love it." Nick smiled. Amanda looked puzzled as Nick and Brian went to check out the car, she just wondered what Nick had meant.





"Happy Birthday to me..." Amanda said with a sigh as she folded Lance's laundry that morning. Lance had gone to work early without sitting down to breakfast, no birthday wishes or good morning kiss....nothing. Amanda had spent a good deal of that morning crying, wishing she had never said yes to Lance...wishing she had never set Nick up with Tracy. The two of them just seemed so happy and perfect....Nick was a good boyfriend and she hated herself for turning him away so many times. Amanda just wanted to forget it was her birthday all together and call the whole thing off when the doorbell rang.

"Oh....Hi Nick." she said, wiping her eyes and trying to look happy.

"Happy Birthday." Nick grinned. He held up a cupcake for her, with buttercream icing and a candle sticking out. Amanda laughed and let him inside.

"What brings you by, Nick....I mean besides bringing me a cupcake?" she giggled.

"I would be a horrible friend if I forgot your birthday." Nick said, fishing a lighter out of his pocket to light the candle. He held it out to her expectantly.

"Make a wish."


Amanda stared at the candle, there were so many things she wished for....but the one thing she wanted was right in front of her....the one person she realized she wanted to be with was staring her in the face. She smiled and closed her eyes, before blowing out the candle.

"Come with me. I have a present for you..." Nick said, still grinning.

"I don't feel like going out, Nick. This has been a shitty day." Amanda protested, shaking her head. Nick frowned at her and picked her up, putting her over his shoulder. Amanda was shocked....when did he get so strong.

"I beg to differ. Come on." he said.

"Put me down!" she yelled as he carried her outside, wondering what he was up to.

Chapter 36

"Put me down!!!" Amanda shouted as Nick carried her to his car. She calmed down once he got down the road from the house.

"You okay now?" he smirked at her as she scowled at him, her arms crossed.

"Nick where are you taking me? I'm not in the mood for this today."

"Don't you trust me?" he asked as they parked in front of an old building downtown, not far from where AJ worked. It looked decent but as if nothing had inhabited it for quite some time, like an old warehouse.

"You're not going to murder me here, are you?" Amanda asked as she cautiously got out of Nick's car and stared up at the place. Nick winked at her and took a key out of his pocket, unlocking a door.

"Please tell me what this is about." she said, following him inside. It didn't look as bad on the inside.....it almost looked as if it had been a nightclub at some point.

"So....what do you think? Pretty cool, isn't it?" Nick asked. Amanda walked further inside, squinting at the dust covered floors and old countertops.

"It needs a lot of work. Why did you bring me here?" she asked again. Nick held up an envelope and smiled, handing it to her.

"Happy Birthday." he said. Amanda opened the envelope, it was a deed to the building and a key along with a check for 500,000 dollars. Her mouth fell open as she looked at the check.....Nick had given her half a million dollars like it was nothing.

"You can't be serious, Nick. This is a lot of money. Why are you giving this to me?" she asked, still looking at the deed.

"Amanda, you helped me with my dream. You gave me the push to go and record that demo, to be a singer like I wanted to. Now it's your turn. This nightclub is your dream." Nick explained. Amanda put the papers back into the envelope and hugged him, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Nick this is wonderful, but I'm still in college. I don't know if I can run a business on my own...." she began but Nick interrupted her.

"You told me that if I wanted to do something, do it. I know this club will be successful, I saw your business plan." Nick said. Amanda smiled as she remembered the business plan she had drafted for her college assignment.

"Really?"

"I showed it to my manager and he said its impressive for a college student. That's how I knew you were ready, you're ready to take this on. I know you have the talent to make it happen." he told her. Amanda hugged him again, kissing him on the cheek. It felt good in his embrace....she almost wanted to throw the ring back at Lance and run off with Nick, to hell with their marriage.

Nick brought Amanda home and she was greeted by what she thought was an empty house....



"Where the hell have you been? How come my dinner isn't ready?" Lance's voice boomed in the dark living room.

"I was out. You know how to cook, don't you? I have work to do." Amanda said, walking past him. Lance's eyes followed her, scowling.

"What work?" he asked.

"I have my nightclub, Lance. My dream is coming true. I need to start planning if I want to open it." Amanda said, holding up the deed so Lance could read it. She was so happy but Lance didn't seem to agree.

"He gave you a nightclub? For what? It's not like today is your...birthday..." he said, realizing his mistake. Amanda gave him a look that burned through him.

"Nick knows how much this means to me, it wouldn't kill you to be more supportive of it like he has been." she hissed, tossing the envelope on the counter. Lance's eyes narrowed, he hated being compared to Nick more than anything and now here he was again. Lance didn't hate Nick but the jealousy was overpowering his respect for the man, especially since it seemed his wife would rather be with him.

"Excuse me but you're still in college, what makes you think you can do this on your own? Running a business is a lot of work." he said.

"I understand what the job entails, Lance. Nick showed his manager my plan and they both think it will be a success."

"Nick doesn't know anything about running a night club either, and his manager isn't much better. It must be nice to have so much money you don't know what to do with it." Lance snapped. Amanda was so angry her body was shaking, tears threatened to spill down her face but she held it in.

"Nick knows what he's doing. He's not flaunting any money." she said, her voice shaky.

"He's throwing his money away by investing in someone with no experience." Lance replied.

"You....you don't believe in me..." she said tearfully.

"Baby, I am being realistic here. You don't have a degree, you're not even out of college. What if you fail? Nick will have wasted all that money on you, money that he can't get back. Money that he will regret giving you." Lance said, putting a hand on her shoulder. Amanda stared at him in shock, her eyes watering. If her own husband didn't believe in her, how could she accomplish anything? She was tired of all the fighting and tears, tired of trying to please Lance....trying to make herself happy.

"Amanda, wait...." Lance said as she ran past him, her hands covering her face....running out the door and regretting what she was thinking of doing next.

Chapter 37


Amanda hated herself for what she was about to do....she hated Lance for making her so worked up. She stood in front of Nick's blue house, staring at the gate to the beach and sighing. Clutching the envelope with one hand, she walked towards Brian and AJ, who were laying in beach chairs on the deck.

"Hey, birthday girl." Brian grinned as Amanda walked up to them. He and AJ were both shirtless and tanned....but it was obvious who spent more time in the gym. AJ was muscular but thin and covered in tattoos, whereas Brian's arms bulged, his stomach defined. He definitely had a police officer's physique.

"Is Nick around? I saw his car out front." Amanda said, trying not to make it obvious she was checking anyone out. Brian pointed to the ocean and Amanda's mouth fell open....Nick was surfing.

He weaved in and out of the waves like a professional....water glistening on his damp chest, his hair flying around his face. Nick was blowing her away. His body was perfect.

"Amanda? What are you doing here?"

Amanda had zoned out and blinked to find Nick standing in front of her, water dripping down his bare chest and over his abs...glistening on his biceps and shoulders.

"Ummmm...hi..." she said breathlessly, smiling like she'd won the lottery. She almost had forgotten what she came to do, clutching the envelope in her hand. Nick saw it and his eyes narrowed, recognizing his own handwriting on the front.

"What is that?" he asked in a hollow sort of voice. Amanda took a breath and handed him the envelope, her hands shaking.

"I came by to drop this off." she said slowly, the air around her cold. It was a warm day, but Amanda felt all the warmth sucked out of her when she saw the look on Nick's face as she returned the present.

"I....I thought you wanted this. I gave this as a gift." he whispered. Amanda wanted nothing more than to turn and just walk away before he could say anything else, but she saw that he was hurt.

"I can't take it, Nick. That is a lot of money.....you spent so much on my dream, what if I failed? It would all be a waste...."

"It's not a waste. You wanted to own a nightclub. Amanda, you helped me with my dream, remember? You pushed me to sing and I did it. I got that record deal because you told me you believed I could do it. Well, now it is your turn. I know you can run a successful business, you have the intelligence and drive to make it happen." Nick protested, trying to give the envelope back. Amanda felt her eyes water, Nick's words filling her with joy but incredible sadness. Lance was right, who was she trying to fool?

"I can't take this from you. Please understand." Amanda whispered. Nick shook his head, his damp hair falling across his face.

"Why don't you think you can do it? Is it because of Lance?" he demanded angrily. Amanda was trying to fight off tears, she hated the fighting and the coldness Lance gave her. Nick's heart was in the right place, but Amanda doubted herself.


"What is going on?" AJ asked, walking up to them.

"She wants to give up her dream of owning a nightclub." Nick said, waving the envelope.

"Amanda, come here." AJ told her, putting an arm around Amanda's shoulder and leading her away towards the house.

"I feel horrible doing this to him. I know Nick put a lot of thought and money into that present he gave me." she said softly.

"Don't kick yourself over this. Lance doesn't control you...we all believe in you."

"That's not it, Jay. I'm tired of fighting with him. He's so jealous of my friendship with Nick. When he found out Nick gave me this present he went ballistic. I can't do this anymore. He wants a housewife, I will give him one." Amanda said tearfully.

"You're not meant to be someone's housewife. Marriage is supposed to be equal, he treats you like a slave. He's just unhappy because his job won't give him a promotion. Do this for yourself, and prove him wrong. The Amanda I know wouldn't let Lance have his way." AJ protested, his hands on her shoulders as he talked.

"I don't want to fight anymore."

"Even if you give up this club, Lance will find something else to bitch about. I'm telling you, you're making a big mistake."

"Marrying Lance was a mistake, AJ. I should have said no....I should have waited for-"

"Don't say that. You need to do what you want, not what he wants. Ask yourself, would he give up his dream for you? I think we both know the answer to that." AJ said.

Amanda thought about it....she knew Lance wouldn't do that for her. She nodded and walked back over to Nick, sighing.

"I can't force you to take this, but you shouldn't let him tell you what to do. The Amanda I know wouldn't just give up." Nick said calmly, a towel around his neck.

"Nick, I changed my mind...you're all right. This is about what I want, not what he wants. I'm gonna do it." Amanda said with a small grin. Nick grinned back and handed her the envelope....knowing this was what she was meant to do.


Amanda went home to find Lance smirking at her as she closed the door, stopping in her tracks.

"Where did you go?" he demanded, his eyes like ice.

"I don't have to answer you....I have a lot of planning to do right now." Amanda said. She moved toward him, cornering him by the sink. Lance's green eyes narrowed, surprised by her attitude.

"For what? I already told you, you're wasting Nick's money on that club." he snapped.

"I'm not fighting with you. Either you're with me, or you're against me. Lance. I am doing this without your support. You're my husband, we should be helping each other, not fighting all the time. If all you want to do is fight, I'm filing for divorce." Amanda told him. Lance softened when he heart the word divorce, he wasn't expecting any of this.

"I will support you but I don't agree with it." he said softly before walking away. Amanda smiled, that was one hurdle to get over. She had a long way to go before everything in her life could be completely perfect. She just wished Nick could be a part of it, but he had his own life....she had hers.

Chapter 38



Nick had been on the road since Amanda's birthday.

"Honey, you okay? You look deep in thought." Tracy said as she walked up behind him, draping her arms around him. Nick sat on the tour bus, staring intently at the window with glossy eyes.

"Nah, I'm just tired. Thinking about some stuff though." he replied, kissing her cheek.

"Like what?" she asked as she sat down next to him.

"I miss being home. I mean, I love performing and seeing all my fans, but I don't really like touring. Wish I could perform but be home more too." Nick said.

"I'm sure something will come up." she replied. Nick looked out the window again, wondering how things were back home and how Amanda was doing with the nightclub.

"No....I asked for the bronze ones...okay, thank you." Amanda said as she got off the phone, walking into her partially furnished nightclub. She smiled at the ladders and paint trays lying around the floor....the smell of primer and new furniture in packing boxes. Things were slowly coming together and she couldn't have been more pleased. Amanda walked up to her office at the top of the stairs....her name on the door in gold letters. She smiled at it and went inside to sit at the desk, a large stack of papers waiting for her.

"Hey, how are you?" she said as her phone rang. Nick was on the other end, sounding tired but happy.

"I'm good. How's the club?"

"Doing fine. Just trying to sort everything out for the opening. Need to book a band, finish decorating, hire employees, train them....get supplies...it's a lot of work but I love it." Amanda gushed. She had spent every day arranging everything but was so pleased with how it was coming together with Nick's help. Nick had helped her financially and now she was on her own, even though sometimes she would call and ask for his opinions.

"I can't wait to see the place when it's done." Nick smiled into the phone before hanging up, feeling Tracy massaging his shoulders. He squirmed a bit, trying to let her know without words he didn't want to be touched.

"You've been avoiding me...what's going on?" she asked, her green eyes watchful as she brushed some hair out of her face.

"Nothing, honey. I am just tired. I think I will go lie down." Nick lied, getting up and walking towards the bunks. To be truthful, Nick had been acting somewhat cold towards his girlfriend since the tour started....feeling awkward with her around. He was starting to feel like he didn't belong with her after all.




Nick came to Amanda's house as soon as he was home about a month or two later. He was glad to be home, Nick didn't like living out of suitcases. After taking a much needed nap, he walked over to her house and rang the bell. Lance's car wasn't there, he was at work and Nick was glad for that.


"Hey, Nicky. I missed you. When did you get back?" Amanda asked, smiling at him. Nick felt his heart flutter and smiled back.

"I missed you too. I came home yesterday....tour was great. Wish you could have made it to a show." he said as she let him inside. Amanda had papers all over the coffee table, pictures of bands. Nick frowned....she was looking to hire live music for the club.

"You look busy, is this a bad time?" Nick asked, watching her sit down.

"No, not at all. I've been auditioning musicians all week...but none of them seem to fit. Opening night is coming and I have nobody to perform. Do you know anybody who can help?" Amanda said with a sigh. The auditions had been wearing her down, a lot of them were stuck up or demanded special treatment...some of the bands weren't very good either. She wished someone like Nick would come along.

"Sure....me." he said, chuckling...his hand rubbing behind his head.

"Nick, I can't ask you to do that. Aren't you busy?" Amanda protested.

"I'm never too busy to help you. I can perform opening night for you, no problem." Nick grinned.

"I need someone a bit more permanent though. What would I do after opening night? I need a live act. People like live music, I can't just have a DJ all the time." she pointed out. Nick nodded, she did make a good argument.

"You're absolutely right. Look....I'm tired of touring. I mean, I want to perform but I'd like to be more local so I can be near my friends. Tracy doesn't like road life much anyway. I could play at your club." he suggested.

"What about your management, Nick? I am sure they won't agree to letting you perform at some dinky little club." Amanda said.

"First of all, it won't be a dinky little club. Second....I will talk to them. Everything will work out, you'll see." he said with a wink, nudging her as she laughed.

"I can always count on you." she said, smiling at him.

"Of course. You're my best friend." he replied. Nick went to talk to management and they agreed to let Nick play at Amanda's club.


"This is gonna be so weird Nick. I mean....I will be your boss." Amanda said once he told her the news.

"Yeah you're right....but we will work through it. I know boundaries and all that." Nick said.

"I will draw up your contract and we can meet later this week to discuss your days off and everything else, okay?" Amanda replied, smiling. Nick walked away, feeling good about the whole situation....but deep down he wondered, could he work for someone he was in love with?

Chapter 39


Nick was nervous. Well, he wasn't sure why he had been nervous....but Amanda was coming over to discuss his position at her nightclub.

"Stupid contacts." he muttered, seeing his bloodshot eyes in the mirror. Nick had been wearing contacts ever since he lived in LA.....his management saying it would improve his image to wear contacts. Nick wasn't fond of them, he preferred glasses.

"Well....looks like today is a glasses day." he said to his reflection. He finished dressing and went downstairs to find AJ watching TV, his feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Hello, Clark Kent. What's with the glasses?" AJ joked as Nick swatted his feet off the table.

"Contacts crapped out on me. Hey...my new boss is coming to discuss some things so I suggest you clear off for a while."

"Your boss? When did you get a regular job? What about your music?" AJ asked.

"I am still doing my music..." Nick said before walking towards the kitchen to make coffee. The doorbell rang and AJ went to answer it...surprised to see Amanda standing there. She was dressed in a skirt and blouse, looking very professional. Her brown hair was pinned up tightly with a clip.

"Well hello there," AJ smiled, lowering his sunglasses to look at her.

"Nick and I have a meeting, is he here?" Amanda said stiffly.

"Don't tell me you're his new boss. He was babbling about a job."

"I'm afraid so, Jay."

"Hey, you're here! Come on in." Nick said suddenly, appearing behind AJ. Amanda smiled as she saw he took the meeting seriously like she did.

"I have some documents for you to go over if you don't mind." Amanda said. She followed Nick to the living room, feeling AJ's brown eyes on her as she walked.

"AJ, we are in a meeting...." Nick said, looking over her shoulder. AJ looked slightly offended but simply raised his hands in front of him as he backed out of the room.

"Would you like some coffee?" Nick offered, waving his hand for Amanda to sit down. He looked at her clothes and smiled, she looked so grown up. He felt grown up. It was perfect.

"I'd love some, thank you." she said. Amanda took out her briefcase and opened it while Nick got two coffee mugs and placed them on the table, coasters underneath them.

"You look different."

"Oh...I had to wear these...my contacts were bothering me." Nick said, his hand shaking a bit as he poured the coffee.

"I didn't know you wore contacts." Amanda said, looking on in awe.

"I got them because my management thought it would improve my image." Nick said, his ears turning pink. Why did he always feel self conscious around her?

"Well I think you look good with glasses." Amanda said before clearing her throat.

"I'd like you to read over these contracts with your manager or your lawyer and give them back to me to make everything official. Then we can discuss your schedule and other things like that. I'm surprised you don't have your manager here with you." she added, not commenting on his appearance anymore....but did Nick dare to feel her eyes travel across his body?


"Okay." he muttered, taking the documents. Nick looked them over as she watched him, unaware that she was staring.

"What are you doing?"

Nick blinked.....he saw his signature on the paper before he realized what he was even doing....now the contract was in effect. Amanda was now his boss.

"Nick, are you sure.....your manager didn't look at that paper first." she said in surprise. Nick gulped, setting down the pen and looking at her nervously, flattening down his pants along his thighs.

"I....I trust you. I trust you to do the right thing, Amanda." he whispered. Amanda raised an eyebrow then wondered if she should have put in a clause for Nick to perform shirtless one night a week.


"So what are we going to do about wardrobe....what days am I working?" Nick asked, catching her attention.

"Ah...yes. Well, that is all up to you."

"I'd like two or three days off a week, depending on the week and what I have planned career wise. As for wardrobe....do I have to provide my own or will it be supplied?" Nick asked.

"What clothes do you have?" Amanda asked, grinning before catching herself. Nick smiled back, looking at his feet.

"We could check out my closet if you like."


Amanda followed Nick to the closet in his bedroom, surprised to find it was a walk in. Shoes and sneakers lined the wall, racks of hangars filled with suits, dress pants...clothes protected by plastic wrap.

"Nick, where did you get all of this? Your closet is bigger than mine. I hate to say it, but I'm jealous." Amanda commented, running her hand along the hangers.

"I get clothes given to me all the time. It just kind of accumulated over time. I don't even wear half of this stuff." he said. Amanda went deeper into the closet and her eyes caught a pair of pants in plastic.....she felt them, they were black leather. Nick would look stunning in them if she could get him to try them on....

"I've got it!" she said, holding them up so he could see.

"Those? Um...I don't know...." Nick said, his ears turning pink. He didn't like the idea of wearing tight clothes in front of all those fans, having them look at him like a piece of meat. It was one thing that annoyed him, that some fans would never see him for the intelligent person he was and just see him as eye candy.

"Nick, sex sells. Give them what they want, these girls want something to look at." Amanda giggled, tossing the pants at him. He nodded and left the closet to change, leaving her to her thoughts for the moment.

"These are tight as hell." Nick said as he walked back into the closet. Amanda's mouth hung open slightly....the pants were flattering on him.


"That's the idea. Here, put this on." Amanda said, tossing him a black tank top. He pulled off his baggy shirt and put it on, his muscles flexing. Amanda felt a yearning within her....why did her heart hurt so badly when he was near?

"Are you sure about this? I never dress like this for shows." he said, walking towards her to put a hanger back on the rack.

"Just trust me. You look great! They will love you."

"You look great too." he said before he could stop himself. His face was near hers, she could feel his breath on her skin. He leaned closer....his lips hovering.....


"Oh, there you are!"

Nick jumped back, startled as Amanda blushed. Tracy bounded into the closet, smiling.....Nick coughed awkwardly.

"We were choosing an outfit for opening night. Nick's the headliner, isn't that great?" Amanda said.

"You look great, baby!" Tracy exclaimed, kissing him on the cheek. Nick didn't seem happy as she put her arm around his waist and he smiled weakly.

"Thanks." Nick muttered. He looked down at his feet, listening to Amanda and Tracy talk about the upcoming show, about him....he wasn't sure how this was going to work. How was he going to keep his emotions in check in front of his girlfriend when the person he loved was in the room?

"I'm glad you hired Nick, he can be home more now....isn't that what you wanted, sweetie?" Tracy asked, her hand rubbing his back.

"Yeah, it is. I'm gonna go change." Nick said, kissing her on the cheek before leaving the closet to use the bathroom. Amanda watched him go, but she couldn't help wonder what was going on in his mind. Something was definitely off and she knew it would all come to light soon.

Chapter 40


"You're home late." Lance scowled over his Easy Mac that night, his attitude had gone sour once he saw the note Amanda had left him on the fridge.

"I was talking things over with my new musical act I hired for the club." she snapped coldly, setting down her briefcase and getting a bottle of Pepsi out of the fridge. Things with Lance weren't as cozy as they used to be, he had gone cold again.

"Really? Who did you get?" Lance asked. He really wasn't interested in what she had to say about the club.....the man was supposed to be the breadwinner, not the woman. How dare she steal his thunder?

"Nick's gonna be a great asset. Opening night is going to be a smash." Amanda smiled as she sipped her soda. Lance scowled and proceeded to stab the macaroni. Amanda was relishing every moment. She loved to piss him off lately....she didn't know why, but part of her liked to know she had hit a sore spot.

"I thought he was touring or something....with that JC guy..."

"JC's tour has been long over. I needed an act, and Nick offered to help me." Amanda told him. She left Lance and went to the office, briefcase and Pepsi in hand, smirking as she heard Lance mutilate his dinner.

It felt good to be in charge.





"Baby we can't have this same fight. I told you I cared for you, isn't that enough?" Nick asked. He and Tracy hadn't been doing as good as he let on to everyone else. Ever since she moved in, she'd been trying to get Nick to settle down and tell her his true feelings.

"I love you, Nick. Don't you love me back? I just want to hear you speak those three words. It isn't hard to say them...." Tracy said, flipping her dark brown hair out of her face with her hand.

"You don't understand, baby." Nick whispered. Tracy walked out of the room in a huff, leaving him to his thoughts. They had been arguing most of the afternoon and his mood had already gone south by the time he went to rehearsal at the club. Opening night was just under a week away and everything was finally coming together.

"Nick is everything okay? You're looking a little down." Amanda asked him during a small break. She and Nick had been working on some gimmicks for his show, including possibly taking a fan up onstage for a serenade.

"Well, it depends....I guess." Nick said thoughtfully, sitting down on the stage and letting his legs dangle.

"What is it?"

"Tracy and I have been talking about our relationship." he replied. Amanda wasn't looking forward to this conversation. Secretly she wished they would break up....Amanda didn't think they would last as a couple but stayed supportive of them as friends, she couldn't do anything since she was married.

"Everything has been going fine until recently. We started discussing our future....settling down and kids...that kind of stuff." Nick said with a sigh. He didn't look pleased and Amanda stayed silent as he talked.

"You want to marry her?" she asked once he finished.

"I don't know anymore. We want different things." he replied.

"Nick, what do you want? What is important to you in a relationship?" Amanda asked, noticing his expression. Something was really troubling him, and she knew it wasn't a matter of simple differences.

"I want a family.....I want to have kids, be a father. I've wanted a family as long as I can remember." Nick told her, a genuine smile on his face, his blue eyes twinkling.

"You want kids? That is a big step, Nick. Are you sure about that?" she said. Deep down, she was extremely pleased to hear this response. Amanda also wanted a family of her own, her secret dream was to become a mother.

"I definitely want kids. Maybe a boy and a girl....I want a small family. Something I can come home to, provide for them. I want to give those kids what I couldn't have growing up. It would mean so much...."

"You would make a great daddy someday, Nick. I really think you can. I would love children....Lance and I have been trying for one." Amanda confessed, blushing slightly. Nick looked at his feet as she told him this, not wanting to hear anything about her and Lance reproducing. He knew it was horrible of him but Nick did not want Lance to have kids with Amanda, it would tie her to him forever.

"Another thing has been kinda on my mind for a hot minute...." Nick said, shaking off his feelings.

"What's that?"

"I'm not in love with her."





Lance smiled as he walked up to Nick's house....he was hoping she would be home. This would definitely secure his plan to stop Nick from stealing Amanda from him.

Ever since Amanda had told him Nick was performing at the nightclub, he had been looking for something to help him. His only other option was to get Amanda pregnant....and if the news his doctor had given him was correct, this would never happen. Lance was desperate.


"Nick's not home." Tracy said, her green eyes narrowed. She didn't like Lance. Although the two of them hadn't talked much, she had seen how he treated Amanda and that was plenty.

"I came to see you." Lance replied. Tracy was hesitant but let him into the kitchen, she knew Nick would pitch a fit if he saw him here.

"Why? We aren't friends. I know how you treat Amanda....what are you up to?" she asked as they sat down at the table.

"I'm only concerned for your feelings. I don't want you to waste your time with someone who doesn't love you," Lance said, his expression solemn.

"Get out of here....you're trying to screw up my relationship." Tracy snapped, pushing him towards the back door.

"No, I'm trying to save you from getting your heart broken. Nick loves someone else." Lance said. Tracy stopped and looked at him, thinking about what he was telling her. There couldn't be any harm in listening to what he had to say, could there?

Chapter 41




"What do you mean, he loves someone else?" Tracy asked. Lance sat down at the table again and continued the conversation. Part of her wanted to throw him the hell out and tell him to fuck himself, but the curious side of her wanted to know why Nick was being so distant to her.

"He's been in love with Amanda since as long as I can remember." Lance replied, folding his hands together, tapping his thumbs on the table top.

"How do you know this?" Tracy asked, her back facing him as she poured herself a cup of tea. She was so much different from Nick, he liked coffee....she didn't. He liked to clean up, she was a little messy. Maybe there were too many differences, just too many differences....

"Nick and Amanda have history together. He was her date to prom, he was her first kiss." Lance said. Now that he thought about it....Nick had taken so many moments he didn't feel important.

"That doesn't mean he loves her." Tracy said, rolling her eyes.

"They've slept together. Quite a few times....she's cheated on me with him, and you know what they say- once a cheater, always a cheater." he told her. The expression on her face said it all....she was falling for it. Hook, line and sinker.

"He slept with her? You mean he's not a virgin? Nick said he was waiting until he got married like I was."

Virgin? Lance almost laughed but disguised it with a cough. Nick was FAR from being a virgin.

"I'm afraid not.....I don't know why he'd lie to you like that. Especially when Nick is usually so honest. Amanda, on the other hand, well....she's keeping a lot of secrets. I'm shocked that someone claiming to be your best friend withheld this information from you." he said softly, a hand on Tracy's shoulder as she looked down at the table, her green eyes glistening.

"So that's why he won't say he loves me. He's in love with her....why isn't he with her then?" she whispered.

"Because she's married to me. If you want Nick's attention you need to fight for him. Mark your territory and show him who's in charge. He's been using you as a consolation for not being with my wife. I'm so sorry."

He smirked a bit when she wasn't looking, that was a great lie....even for him. Lance knew damn well Amanda wanted to leave him. He'd been trying for a baby to cement their marriage. A baby would tie them together forever. Lance sat with Tracy for a long time, pretending to console her, but in reality he was feeding her anger towards Amanda and Nick. Now that his plan was in action, all he had to do was let nature take its course.



"Again, from the top, Nick." Amanda said as Nick's band finished playing.

"I'm getting a little tired." Nick said, drinking from the water bottle resting under his stool and wiping his forehead.

"Opening night is tomorrow. We have to be ready, I want everything to be perfect."


"Amanda? Do you ever get the feeling that your life isn't going how it is supposed to be?" Nick asked.

Amanda looked at him, trying to think of a good answer for that but it never came.

"I don't think so. Do you feel that way?"

"Kinda. Like something is missing." Nick said. Did she dare to think he meant her? Or that she felt the same about him? Amanda often thought she made a mistake marrying Lance and wished for a way out....but she knew her and Nick wouldn't happen. She wasn't bold enough to steal him away, especially from Tracy. Amanda and Tracy had been good friends for a long time....she couldn't hurt her like that.


"Let's get back to work." Nick said shortly after, picking up his guitar again and leaving her to her own thoughts.




Amanda was nervous.

Opening night had finally arrived, all that she had been preparing for had come together. Nick arrived early that night holding the clothes she had picked for him in a plastic clothing bag....seeing her running around.

"You ready for tonight? Today's the big day." he smirked as he handed her the coffee he brought her.

"Mmm. Thanks, Nick. I really needed this, I've been here all day setting up for tonight. We are expecting a big crowd with you being here." Amanda said, taking a grateful sip. She had named the nightclub The Blue Banana after a club she'd seen in a movie.

"Go on and get ready. You know where your dressing room is." she smiled.

"Tracy was excited for tonight, we went shopping for dresses last night. She can't wait to see the place."

"That's nice of her. Lance is coming too. I hope he doesn't try to start anything....he's not happy I hired you." Amanda pointed out. She watched Nick go to his dressing room and continued to watch her employees set up for the night.



"Where is Nick, anyway?" Tracy asked once she had arrived backstage. She wore a blue dress that sparkled and simple shoes. Lance stood nearby, wearing a dark suit and white buttoned down shirt.

"Must be getting ready for the show." Lance muttered. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Amanda, wearing a long black dress....she looked stunning.

"You look nice tonight." he commented as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you, so do you. Did you see all those people out there? Business is booming already." Amanda beamed. Nick strolled out in the middle of their conversation, and Lance stopped talking to look. Nick's hair fell in strands framing his face, he wore black leather pants that accented his body....and a white shirt with a black tank top underneath.

"Nickolas, what did I tell you about covering up? The whole point of this outfit is showing off." Amanda said, leaving her husband to scold him. Lance's eyes narrowed as he watched Amanda's hand moving across Nick's chest, smoothing his shirt and opening it slightly.

"Amanda, come on...." Nick blushed. Lance noticed Tracy was looking at them, as if she was remembering what he had told her. Her arms were folded across her chest, Lance could tell she wad definitely thinking about it.

"Well, I guess you could leave it on to take off later. The crowd should enjoy that." Amanda laughed. She was so nervous that she began to adjust Nick more without meaning to, tugging at his shirt and pants....moving his hair. Nick smiled when her hand grazed his thigh but quickly changed his expression. Unfortunately, the slight bulge forming in his pants said otherwise.

"I seriously doubt that it mentions groping your employee in his contract." Lance commented.

"I am not groping him.....get that idea out of your head." Amanda said, her hands on her hips.

"Then what would you call it? In front of his girlfriend too, you should be ashamed of yourself."

"Lance, this is a big night for me. Don't ruin it." Amanda hissed. Nick opened his mouth to speak but Amanda rushed him towards the stage.

"You'd better go, it's show time. Break a leg." she said, patting him on the butt as he walked. Nick hurried off, his ears tinted pink.

"How could you do this to me?" Lance shouted. The two of them were face to face, screaming at each other.

"I don't need this shit from you. GET OUT!!!" Amanda snapped, throwing her hands in the air. She was so tired of Lance accusing her of cheating, but could she blame him for thinking it?

"You wouldn't do it." Lance laughed. He was surprised when Charlie, her bouncer came and escorted him out as he screamed at her.

"Can you believe him?" Amanda asked, turning to Tracy. Tracy shook her head and simply walked away to watch Nick's show....leaving Amanda to herself.

What was going on with everyone?

Chapter 42




Nick felt a lump in his throat during the entire set. He felt Tracy's eyes on him the whole time, watching him especially when Amanda was near. He wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and just die there, he never wanted this to happen. Why couldn't he just be honest? Why did things have to come to this?


He braced himself when he walked into the house, seeing Tracy sitting there on the couch....her eyes burning.


"When were you going to tell me? If you had just told me, I would have understood....." she snapped as soon as his foot stepped into the room.

"Baby-"

"Don't you 'Baby' me. You told me you would wait until marriage like I was. You lied."

Nick slowly made his way across the room and they sat across from one another, Nick not meeting her gaze.

"I didn't lie. I said I would wait because you wanted to. All I said was I respected your wishes." he replied.

"So what is going on with you and her? Do you love her?" she sneered. Nick didn't like this at all, he felt like he was being punished. Maybe he wasn't meant to be with anyone.

"I don't know what my feelings are at this point, Tracy. I care for her deeply....she's my best friend, and I happened to be her first. This doesn't change anything between you and I, I mean I like you a lot...."

"Nick, come on. I know you. You can't say you love anyone.....all I want to know is if you love me."

Nick rubbed the back of his head with his hand, he was in deep this time and he wasn't sure how he would get back out.





"How could you throw me out like that in front of everyone? I'm your goddamn husband!" Lance yelled, as Amanda strode past him towards their bedroom. She began removing her jewelry, still fuming at him.

"You KNEW this night was important to me, and you still behaved like a jealous teenager. I have never been so humiliated in my life! Of course I would throw you out!" she hissed. Lance followed her to the bathroom, still red in the face as she slammed the door.

"You can't hide in there forever! I am tired of being second to that.....that..."

"Go on.....say it."

"Celebrity." Lance said, his voice dripping with hatred.

"I don't give a fuck if you don't like us working together. Nick is what will make or break this club right now. He appeals to the demographic." Amanda replied, opening the door. She was now dressed in a silky pink lace top and pink underwear.

"What demographic, Amanda? You? Stop living in denial. You've wanted to be with him since you fucked him in high school. We are adults now......face it, he's moved on. Nick's not a teenager anymore and neither are you!" he said.

"Nick and I are friends, nothing more. Stop over analyzing everything." Amanda yelled. She decided to sleep in the guest room that night, her and Lance were at odds and she didn't even know how to stop it this time.




Nick and Tracy walked into the bedroom in silence. He knew she was annoyed but she wouldn't stay this way for long.

"I told you how I felt about you, isn't that enough?" Nick said as he removed his pants.

"Look, all I want is a little honesty. Do you love me or not? I want to know if I am here wasting my time."

"Wasting your time? Is that how you feel? Look, if you feel that way then leave." Nick hissed. Tracy put her arms around him and kissed him, but the kiss left a sour taste in his mouth. They kissed for a while but she stopped when her hand felt a lump under his shirt.

"What is it?"

"What's that?" Tracy said. Nick's heart began beating faster....it was the necklace he always wore....her hand had found it underneath his shirt. She reached in and pulled it out, her eyes narrowed.

"Baby, I-" he began, but she stepped back and put her hand up to her face, her eyes filling with tears.

"You....and....and her-" Tracy whimpered.

"I can explain..." he said, but she backed away.

"Nick, I don't know what you're trying to pull but....I'm not..falling for it anymore." she sobbed.

"WAIT!!!" he said when she turned and walked away, her sobs echoing in the hallway. He found her slumped on the floor, sobbing into the wall. Nick tried calming her but she began punching him.

"You're an asshole!!!!!"

"Baby, calm down. Just listen to me..." he said, her fists landing on his chest and arms. He felt his own eyes water, bringing back memories of his childhood.

"Nick, I have nothing to go back to...I left everything to be with you. What is gonna happen now? I wanted us to be happy..."

"You're not going anywhere. We can get through this....I'm so sorry." he whispered gently.

"Marry me, Nick."

"What?" Nick said, looking into her green eyes.

"I can give you what you want."


Nick's heart was going a mile a minute, his brain on overdrive. How could she possibly want marriage? They had talked about it....she had clearly said she couldn't have children and didn't want them.

"I thought you couldn't have kids." he said, stepping away from her as she got up.

"We can adopt. A boy and a girl like you want. We could be a family."

"I don't know about this. We need to sleep on it." Nick said softly. He walked to the bathroom and shut himself inside, sitting on the carpet. He tucked his knees behind his arms and sat there, thinking with his head down.

What was he going to do?

Chapter 43


"Hi, Amanda!"

"Hey, what's up?" Amanda smiled, seeing Tracy on her porch.

"I came by to tell you the good news." Tracy said brightly. Amanda looked puzzled until she saw the ring on her finger.

"You're kidding." she said out loud without intending to. Tracy seemed slightly annoyed but kept on with her story anyway.

"Nick and I are getting married. Isn't it wonderful?" she gushed. Amanda nodded but she felt sick. Nick had told her he was breaking up with Tracy....,nothing made sense. That afternoon at rehearsal Amanda waited for Nick to tell her the news, but he didn't mention it. Finally, she got frustrated and slapped him on the back of his head.


"What the hell was that for!?" he hissed, rubbing the bruise that was forming. Amanda had never hit him before and this left him in complete shock.

"When were you going to tell me? Tomorrow? Next week?"

"Excuse me?"

"I thought we told each other everything, Nick! You're my best friend and you weren't going to tell me?" Amanda said, almost in tears.

"I always tell you everything. What are you talking about?" he asked. Amanda realized then that either Nick was playing dumb....or he really had no idea.

"Your engagement?" Amanda offered. Nick's eyes went wide, his face pale....something was definitely off.

"I'm not engaged. Did she tell you we were? Goddamn it. I fucking told her to sleep on it." he exclaimed, sitting on the edge of the stage and groaning.

"Nick, how did this happen?" Amanda asked, sitting next to him. She wasn't angry anymore, her expression softening. Nick shook his head, chewing on his bottom lip.

"She asked me to marry her, but I'm not ready for it. We don't know each other well enough to be thrown into marriage." he explained. As Amanda listened, she hoped there was something she could do....wished Nick would break things off so she'd finally tell Lance to screw himself.






"I think a beach wedding would be so romantic, don't you, Nick?"


"Huh? Oh yeah....that's great, baby." Nick mumbled a few days later, not really paying attention to what Tracy was saying. She didn't seem happy that he wasn't interested, but kept going over wedding ideas anyway. The wedding was being moved up and was a few weeks away.....and all Nick could think about was Amanda.

He knew she was unhappy with Lance, he could see how he treated her like a maid, like hired help and not his wife.


"Nick? Are you listening?"


Nick's mind went back to New York....how Amanda had made him feel as they had lay in bed together....when they were both single, when nobody else in the world mattered. He smiled but Tracy snapped her fingers, startling him.

"Sorry, baby." Nick said sheepishly, grinning at her. He couldn't ignore the growing sick feeling in his stomach.




Amanda wanted to pull her hair out.

"Babe, I told you before- my work pants don't go in the dryer! They get wrinkles! Now what the fuck am I gonna wear?" Lance shouted from the hall, standing in his underwear. Amanda peeked out from the laundry room, rolling her eyes at him. There once was a day where she found him attractive....he was in shape and good looking, but his attitude and cockiness ruined it for her.

"Why don't you wear clothes, Lance? I'm sure you own more than one pair of pants." she hissed, throwing clothes into the dryer. She often wondered what it would have been like if she married Nick, what life they'd have. Amanda liked that Nick wanted children, she dreamed of a small family like he did. Lance had only recently been pushing for a baby, and he was the last person on earth she wanted to do that with. To her a baby with Lance meant she'd never be able to leave him. Once Lance left for work, Amanda went about doing things around the house....wishing there was a way to stop the wedding.



"Dude, are you okay? I've never seen you so down before." Brian said as he and Nick walked into his house. Nick had been spending the afternoon avoiding Tracy, he just didn't want to go over any more wedding plans. Just thinking about being married made him sick to his stomach with doubt.

"I don't think I'm ready for this. I'm gonna call it off." Nick said, sighing.

"Talk to her, I'm sure she will understand. Don't string her along if your heart isn't into it." Brian replied.

Nick nodded in agreement....but would it be that easy?





Amanda was surprised to see Tracy visiting the next day. The two friends had not spoken since Tracy told her she was engaged.

"Hi, Tracy. What's up?"

"Nick wants to call off the wedding." Tracy said, looking at her feet. Amanda smirked but quickly changed her expression.

"Oh wow. What are you going to do?" she asked softly.

"I've promised him we could adopt a little boy...I think that will change his mind, don't you? If all else fails, maybe you could convince him....since he always takes your advice." Tracy replied. Amanda stared at her. She hoped Nick would not fall for this ploy....he was being rushed to the altar and Amanda didn't like it one bit. Tracy had become so competitive, it was like she was a whole different person. Nick had become a trophy.

"I thought you didn't want children." Amanda said, looking at her in disbelief.

"He doesn't need to know that. I can tell him anything and he eats it up." Tracy snapped. Amanda's mouth dropped open. How did she get this way?

"So what do you need me for, if he bought that already?" she asked.

"You can help me convince him to go through with the wedding....you know, push him in the right direction."

"Like hell I will. I am not lying to him for you.....Nick wants a family more than anything, how can you promise something like this if you don't mean it? I thought you were above that, Tracy." Amanda hissed, her eyes narrowed.

"You're just bitter because you passed him by and I got him. It isn't my fault you married Lance, you picked him." Tracy shouted.

"Get out of my house.....I won't help you rush Nick into something that is a complete lie."

"How dare you talk to me like that!"

"Get out and STAY OUT! Nick doesn't deserve this. You've changed, Tracy....and I hope to God Nick sees it and leaves you. When that day comes, don't come crying to me!" Amanda screamed, slamming the door and leaning on it with her back.


It was then that she began to cry....she felt so betrayed by Tracy, so guilty that she had set her up with Nick....and there was no way to warn him without hurting him. Amanda cried for a few moments before drying her eyes. It was then that she realized she had one card left to play.

The only question was, would he listen to her? Amanda hoped this would make things right again. She knew Nick deserved better, they both did.

Chapter 44




Amanda was alone in the house for the night, Lance had gone on an overnight trip for work. She sat in her kitchen, listening to the clock ticking as she made some popcorn to watch a movie. It was getting late but she couldn't sleep....her mind was on Nick. She had been thinking of him all day....ever since Tracy had gone home that day. A few weeks went by and as Amanda watched, Nick was more and more miserable. Amanda's relationship with Lance was so rocky because nothing they tried produced a baby. He was really pushing for one and this worried her.

"I have to talk to him." Amanda said out loud, forgetting she was alone. Several times she stopped herself from going over to Nick's. The movie on television that night was Titanic....she loved it but once the scene came where Jack confessed his love for her....all she could think of was Nick. Leo even looked like him which made it hard for her to finish the movie. She heard a rumble of thunder as she ran out the door, she didn't care....Nick had to know everything.



Nick was almost asleep in bed next to Tracy, her body close to his. They had just recently began sharing a bed together although he had not slept with her formally just yet. He wanted to respect his fiance's wishes.


Fiancé.

The word made Nick's mouth go dry and feel like cotton.....he was to be married in a short amount of time and there was no convincing Tracy to call it off. He had tried but both times she had talked him out of it. Nick opened his eyes when he heard the boom of thunder outside of his window....followed by hail.

"Huh?" he muttered when he realized the soft tapping against the glass was not hail, but small pebbles. The rain came down in sheets, lightening flashed. Nick was surprised to see Amanda standing under his window in the downpour, her brown hair plastered to her face. He took the steps two at a time, throwing on a tank top as he went.

"Amanda?" he called over the storm. Amanda stood there, blinking through the streams of water running down her pale face.

"Nick? I need to talk to you." she coughed.

"It's 2 in the morning....what are you doing here in this weather? You're soaked. Come inside." he said, putting his arm around her. She brushed him away as the thunder crashed again. Nick was drenched now, the tank top clinging to him and his arms glistening......his hair hanging in strands along his face.

"Nick, I need to talk to you. Please hear me out." Amanda repeated, breathing heavily. She shivered, soaked to the bone but didn't care. If she didn't talk to him now she'd never have the nerve to again.

"I'm listening."

"Run away with me, Nick." Amanda begged, taking his hand. Nick stared in disbelief....was he dreaming?

"What about Lance?" he whispered, the storm nearly drowning him out.

"I don't want to be with him. I've had feelings for you for a long time, Nick. We could be together.....I can give you a family."

"Tracy said we could adopt a boy. She promised me a family too." Nick said, looking at his feet. The truth was that he didn't believe her....but he wanted a family so badly he didn't care. Amanda was happily married. He didn't want to be alone.

"She only said that to get that ring on your finger. I am being sincere, Nick. I want us to be together...I want to be a family, have your children...." she continued, smiling. Nick blinked through the rain pouring down his face....he couldn't believe this was really happening. Amanda wanted to be with him, wasn't that what he wanted?


"I..."

Amanda grabbed Nick's face and kissed him as the lightening flashed. Their tongues intertwined, dancing with one another as she sucked on his bottom lip....his breath taken away. They broke apart, both of them breathing heavily as Nick blinked through the raindrops.

"Let's do it. Let's go and not look back." he said. Nick pecked her on the lips again quickly before running back into the house, tripping as he went up the stairs. This was crazy....but it felt right.

He hobbled into the bedroom, wiping his soaked body with a towel before grabbing a duffel bag and piling random clothes in it. Nick grinned, he was finally getting what he wanted.


It was then that his eyes fell upon Tracy sleeping in the bed, her mouth curved into a small smile as she slept. Nick stopped packing and watched her, shivering from his wet clothes....the lightening flashing through their bedroom window. It was then that Nick thought about what he was going to do....he set the bag down and sat on the bed, putting his head in his hands and sighing.


Amanda stood under the awning of nick's roof...even though it wasn't a proper shelter from the storm. She didn't care that she was drenched head to foot or standing in an ankle deep puddle.....she was happy. She couldn't wait to run away with Nick like she had wanted before her wedding.

"Amanda..." Nick called from the doorway.

"Are you ready?" she asked with a smile. Her expression faded when she saw that he wasn't.

"I can't do this." Nick whispered, touching her face and caressing her cheek with his thumb gently.

"Can't decide what to pack? Come on, I will help you. We could go to Hawaii like we were gonna do before..." she said. Nick slowly shook his head, his eyes watering. He took her in his arms, thunder crashing around them.

"I'm sorry." he said into her ear, his face buried in her neck.

"What?" Amanda said, pulling away.

"I can't go with you."


The words hit Amanda like a ton of bricks. Nick loved her, didn't he? Or was everything Brian had told her a lie?

"What do you mean, you can't? Nick, I can give you what she won't. I want to be with you!" she shouted over the clap of thunder.

"I can't leave her like this. I need to talk to her." Nick said. All he kept thinking was that Amanda didn't want to be with him....she just wanted to get away from Lance and he was her way of escape.

"You're making a mistake, Nick. This is the only chance I'm giving you.....after that.....it's gone." Amanda snapped. The rain was beginning to let up as Nick looked at her, feeling incredibly stupid. He knew she was possibly right, but he didn't want to abandon his girlfriend. A proper breakup would be better. As Nick thought, he saw Amanda running away.....he swore he could hear her crying.


He would have rather faced another rainstorm than be responsible for her tears. She was right, his chance was there and he didn't take it.

Now he would have to live with his decision.

Chapter 45


After Amanda had shown up that night, Nick began to really regret telling her no. Tracy was obsessed with the wedding, wanted everything a certain way. She asked for a small wedding on the beach behind the house. Her parents didn't like him very much and Nick just felt like everything was going wrong. He wanted to escape....just run away and leave everything. He couldn't just leave but it was becoming overwhelming for him.



The day had finally arrived....the backyard wad decorated with bright flowers in orange and pink....flower petals littered the small platform that held the wedding guests. Nick stood inside the house, looking at himself in the mirror as he dressed and thought about being Tracy's husband. His stomach had been doing backflips all morning and he had thrown up at least twice since breakfast.

"Dude, you're just nervous." AJ had said as he observed Nick hugging the toilet seat. Nick looked at him, his face pale and sweaty.


"I don't think I can do this. Something bad is gonna happen...." he muttered.

"You're just getting married. It's not the end of the world." AJ laughed. As Nick slumped to the floor shaking....he highly doubted AJ knew his world was crashing down.





"Come on, baby. We are gonna miss the wedding if you don't get dressed soon." Lance called from the doorway. He was dressed in a suit, his blonde hair spiked with hair gel. Amanda stared at the blue dress hanging up by her closet and sighed, wiping stray tears from her eyes. There was no way she could do this, no way she could watch her best friend get married.

"Amanda I thought you said you were going. Come get ready." Lance said again.

"I'm not going, you go ahead." she replied coldly, her arms across her chest. Amanda's eyes fell upon the picture of her and Nick as children hanging on the wall and she teared up again.

"Look, Nick needs his friends there to support him. I think you ought to go." Lance said, walking towards her and rubbing her back. Amanda hated how happy he was.

"I don't feel well." she lied, although she actually felt sick to her stomach with stress. Lance wouldn't have any of it, he dragged Amanda off to the bathroom to get ready for the ceremony.

Amanda knew she would make sure to take extra aspirin that afternoon.




Nick stood in the mirror, looking at his reflection as he got ready. He was sweating bullets, feeling very nervous. As he walked around the room he sat down on the bed and took a box out of his night stand, opening it.

"Amanda..." he whispered, his eyes watering with regret. The ring was meant for her and he'd saved it after fighting with Tracy. Part of him still loved Amanda, still believed that they'd marry one day. Nick put the ring back and wiped his eyes, licking his lips. He knew what he had to do.

He took the steps carefully, walking down the halls of his house very slowly. He passed by the room where Tracy was and saw her in her wedding gown. He silently cursed himself, he knew it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Nick looked around the corner, saw nobody was there....then made a run for the door. His hand was on the door handle when he heard footsteps.

"Where you going, Nick? The wedding is gonna start in like an hour." AJ said, startling him.

"Um....I just needed to run out for a bit." Nick laughed, but AJ wasn't buying it.

"I don't think so." he said, holding the door closed. Nick felt his heart race. He couldn't go through with this wedding, not after the dream he'd had the night before.

"Let me go AJ!"

"You can't take off now....NICK!!!"

It happened so quickly AJ didn't have time to grab him. Nick plowed through, knocking AJ to the floor.

"NICK!"


Nick ran and ran, taking the stairs two at a time until he reached a bathroom in the hallway. He slammed the door shut and locked it, AJ banging on the other side.

"Open up, Carter! You can't stay in there all day!"

"I don't plan to..." Nick muttered as he went for the window.



"What the heck is going on? Tracy said she heard some commotion up here." Brian asked a few minutes later, coming upon AJ banging on the bathroom door.

"Nick's locked himself in and refuses to get married. He said something about bad luck." AJ explained as he jiggled the doorknob.

"Okay, so he's got a case of cold feet."
"Cold feet? Brian he tackled me as he was running away! What gave you that idea?"

"Nick? It's Brian. How about you come out of there and we have a talk?" Brian said calmly, standing in front of the door.

"He's not answering. What the hell is he doing in there?" AJ mumbled when they heard some scuffling.

Brian and AJ realized the situation was getting serious.

"Time for our backup plan. I'm getting Amanda." Brian said, running down the stairs.



Amanda was debating on leaving when Brian came running up to her, his face flushed and out of breath.

"We have a problem.....oh my." Brian started, but Amanda saw Nick's legs dangling from an open window. She raised her eyebrow as they stared in disbelief.

"Do I wanna know?"


"Nick's got cold feet. Can you help me talk to him? He'll listen to you-"

"No, I won't. Nick chose where he wanted to be and I will not have anything to do with this wedding." Amanda snapped coldly. Her mind flashed back to that night, rejection still in her head. Nick didn't want her anymore. It was over.

"I don't know what you're talking about...." Brian mumbled.

"Honey I think you should help them. Think about Tracy, she doesn't deserve her wedding day ruined. If Nick doesn't want to get married, he needs to talk to her." Lance suggested to everyone's surprise. Amanda almost laughed at Brian's dumbfounded expression but decided to follow him into the house.

"Nick?" Amanda said, standing in front of the bathroom door.

"I'm not coming out." he replied bluntly.

"It's me."

"Why are you here? I thought you didn't want me to get married either."
"Nick, just open the damn door." Amanda hissed. She hated when he was stubborn. Nick opened the door and she stepped into the bathroom, noticing the shower curtain on the floor and the window open.

"Don't ask." he said, sitting on the toilet and sighing.

"You realize everyone could see you from here?" Amanda asked....her eyes boring into his red rimmed ones. He didn't reply, just shifted uncomfortably.

"So are you gonna tell me why you were dangling from a window?"

"I can't do this." Nick mumbled.

"You had the opportunity to leave her, Nick. I would have left Lance for you. You chose this....we both know you don't love her." Amanda replied.

"I have a really bad feeling about this. Like I'm making a mistake....like something bad is gonna happen if we get married and go to Aruba. She picked Aruba, I wanted Hawaii." Nick confessed. He also couldn't help thinking about seeing Tracy in her dress....it was bad luck.

"Nick, you're my best friend and I want you to be happy. She has been rotten to me for a few weeks now but she doesn't deserve you running out on her. Like you told me when I wanted to run away....we can't run from our problems." Amanda said, sighing.

"I guess you're right. Do you think I am ready for this? You know....marriage?" Nick asked.

"You will make a wonderful husband and a great father one day. I think you're just scared." she smiled. She didn't realize she was tearing up....it was like letting him go.

Nick nodded and stood up, fixing his jacket.

"Okay.....if you think so then I'm ready. Thank you Amanda....I needed this. I just hope I won't regret it." he said, hugging her. She felt tears spill down her face as he held her for a moment before running out of the room.


As Amanda watched him go, she couldn't help think that maybe Nick was right.