March 21, 2009

Dottie walked into her office, wondering if she would be able to cut out of work early. The girls wanted to give her a birthday dinner, since she denied them the fun of throwing a huge bash. She agreed to dinner because she knew if she didn't, they'd just surprise her with something.

As she sat behind her desk, the phone rang. It was Amy. "Everything's ready, when will you be here?"

Dottie checked her watch, she groaned. It was later than she thought. "Give me 30 minutes. I need to make sure they don't need me anymore."

Amy muttered something nasty under her breath about Dottie's bosses. "OK, but if you are late, I'm coming after you."

Dottie knew she would. She had worked for JIVE records for almost 7 years and none of her friends liked it at all, other than she worked closely with the Backstreet Boys for over 5 of those years. That they were jealous of, but only because they liked the group so much. Her official title was project coordinator, but she did a little bit of everything, which usually meant very long hours and very little compensation. She sighed loudly, pushing all of that out of her mind. Tonight was supposed to be her night and she was going to enjoy it.

As she turned to shut down her computer, the door to her office opened. She looked around to see her boss, Mr. Jake Johnson, come in, followed by one of the night security guards and another man. "That's the woman, Detective Peters. Dottie Morgan."

Dottie gasped. "What's going on?" She was petrified as the policeman stepped closer to her.

"How could you do it Dottie? Did you think we wouldn't figure it out?"

"Figure out what?" She was shaking as the officer pulled out a pair of handcuffs.

Before Mr. Johnson could reply, someone walked up behind him. It was Howie Dorough. The cold fury in his eyes made her flinch. "Dottie, we trusted you. Why did you do it?"

Dottie was crying as her arms were wrenched behind her back and the handcuffs clicked into place. "What are you talking about Howie? I don't understand."

Before he could respond, the detective spoke up. "Dottie Morgan, you are under arrest for embezzlement. You have the right to remain silent." The rest of his words were a blur to her. She couldn't believe what he had said.

Her eyes found Howie again, noticing that he was followed by the other three guys. All of them looked at her with undisguised anger. Her eyes found Nick's, undoubtedly her best friend in the bunch. He just looked disgusted. Tears pooled in her eyes as she realized they all thought she had stolen from them. Her heart broke as she saw that where once was trust and respect for her, all she could see was anger and hatred. She didn't even realize the detective had led her away until she heard him tell another officer to confiscate her computer and search the office.

Three months later...

Dottie sat quietly as the verdict was read. "We the jury find the defendant guilty." Her heart crumbled. They said she was guilty. Guilty of stealing money from the most important people in her life. Her head dropped as she heard them mumbling behind her. They thought she did it. She had told them over and over she didn't do it, but they didn't believe her. Now it was over. And she was going to prison for a crime she didn't commit. They would never trust her again.

CHAPTER 1

March 21, 2010

Dottie thought it was ironic that exactly one year to the day after her arrest, she's back in a courtroom. The past nine months had changed her. No longer was she a shy, backwards girl who never stood up for herself. Prison had made her into a hard woman, determined to never trust again. The only person who had continued to be in her life was Amy Walker. All the rest of her friends had one by one dropped out of sight. She didn't know if they believed in her innocence or not. But she couldn't blame any of them for not wanting to be associated with a convicted felon, all be it an innocent one.

Amy, though, had stayed true. Visiting her often, she had brought magazines and such. Since it was a minimum security facility, the warden had allowed them to do makeovers. Amy even brought all the implements for coloring Dottie's hair, which now hung down to the middle of her back. She never once let her friend feel sorry for herself.

Even now, she sat behind Dottie as the judge made his ruling. "Dottie Morgan, you have been brought here today because new evidence has been presented. It is the ruling of this court that you shall be set free. You are free and your record will be wiped clear of any and all charges." Dottie was stunned, to say the least. Before she could utter a sound, the judge continued. "Ms. Morgan, I feel the need to tell you exactly what this new evidence is because you were unjustly convicted and you have spent time in prison, where you didn't belong. Someone confessed to setting you up. Being an officer of the court, I cannot divulge anything other than that. I can only tell you that I am deeply sorry that this wasn't uncovered before your conviction, and the person responsible will be tried on charges of embezzlement and perjury, among other charges."

Dottie didn't hear much after that. There was a roar in her head as she realized what he said. Free. She was free. Emotionally drained, she slumped down in her seat, not even aware that the judge had dismissed the case.

Amy was there, crying as she hugged her friend. "I told you they would figure out what happened. I wonder who did it? No, I don't. I don't care. All that matters is you can go home."

Dottie looked lost. "I don't have a home, Amy. I don't have a job. I don't have anything." Tears gathered and fell and she cursed herself for the weakness.

Grabbing her by her arms, Amy slightly shook her. "You do have a home. You are staying with me till we get you back on your feet. First things first, let's find out if I can get you out of here." She turned to talk to Dottie's lawyer as Dottie sat, taking it all in.

Feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand up, Dottie knew someone was staring at her. Turning, she saw them. Howie, Brian, AJ, and Nick. All watching her. Not prepared to see them, she almost doubled over in pain. Quickly recovering from the shock and masking her pain, she looked to her lawyer, begging for help. "I can't talk to them. I don't want to see them. Is there another way out?"

Before he could answer, Howie approached them. "Dottie, please, you have to listen to us."

Pure rage swept through her as she turned and faced him. She could see remorse in his eyes, but she refused to acknowledge it. "Listen to you? Did you listen to me when I begged you to? Did you listen to me when I promised you I didn't do it? When I swore to you it wasn't me? How well did you listen Howie? No, I won't listen. Never."

Howie paled at her words, bowing his head and slightly turning. "For what it's worth, Dottie, we did believe you. We tried to prove your innocence, but we couldn't. Not until Jake confessed. I'm sorry for what we put you through. For what we all said and did."

Dottie latched onto that one sentence. "Jake? Jake did this to me?"

Howie sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did when he was stressed out. A habit he had picked up from Kevin years ago. "Yes, he did. He took the money and left the trail on your computer. He finally confessed to it when Nick realized that money was still disappearing. We knew it couldn't be you and Jake never hired anyone to replace you. It had to be him, so we called the police and finally, he admitted he had been doing it. He thought we'd never miss it and that with you gone, there would be no reason to think anything else would disappear. But Nick wouldn't give up. He's the one who figured it out."

Dottie looked up, seeing the rest of the guys had joined Howie. Her eyes met Nick's. His expression was desolate. "Dottie, I'm sorry. I can't take back what's happened, I wish I could. I tried so hard to figure it out before your trial, but there wasn't time."

Dottie knew he meant what he said. Nick could never hide his feelings from her. But she had turned her emotions off a long time ago and swore she wouldn't let anyone close again. "Thank you for figuring it out. I owe you that. But I never want to see any of you again. When I truly needed you, you deserted me."

AJ swore under his breath. "We tried to be there for you, but they wouldn't let us near you. You have to know how we begged to get in to see you."

"No, AJ, I don't. The last time I saw all of you, Howie was accusing me and all of you were backing him up. You weren't very supportive of me then."

Brian broke in, "But we were told there was iron clad proof you did it. We were shown the computer records and everything pointed to you. It wasn't until after your arrest that we figured out things didn't add up. But you refused to see us. We did try."

Howie reached out to grab her hand, but she jerked it back. "We never deserted you; we've been fighting this battle for months, trying to get anyone to see what was happening. Finally, Detective Peters agreed to meet with us and hear what we had to say. He re-opened the case and helped us figure out what Jake had done. We know you hate us, but hopefully someday you can forgive us."

She looked them each in the eye, wanting so badly to forgive, but feeling so hurt she couldn't do it. Her gaze locked with Nick's. "I can't do this now. I can't see you because I don't trust you. I don't trust any of you. Leave me alone. Go back to your music and let me start over."

A tear slid down Nick's face. "I've missed you Dottie. You always were someone I could depend on, and I'll never forgive myself for letting you down. But please, don't shut us out. Don't shut me out."

Dottie steeled herself against the feelings he evoked in her. "You shut the door Nick, slammed it right in my face. I can't open it again. Good bye."

She walked out of the courtroom that day with her head held high. But she left her heart behind. No one had ever known just how deep her feelings had been for Nick. And now it was too late. He'd never know how much she loved him and she was going to make damn sure no one else knew either. It was time to start over.

CHAPTER 2

"It's been four months Amy. I love staying here, but don't you think I can make it on my own now?" Dottie was pacing back and forth. She knew Amy wanted her to stay, but she wanted her life back. She wanted to move on, but living with Amy seemed like a weakness. She long ago gave up feeling weak. She had to prove she was strong.

Amy had hoped to keep Dottie living with her. She had seen her friend’s vulnerable side over the past few months, but only occasionally. Dottie wanted to be a hard ass now, not letting anything bother her, but deep down, she was still hurt. Amy didn’t know what had caused such a deep pain in her friend’s heart; she just wanted to try to heal it.

“D, come on. Don’t move out. I love having you here and it’s nice to have someone to talk to in the evenings.”

“Yeah, like I’m such great company. A, I know you are trying, but I can’t do it. I’m not the person I was before and if I stay here, I’ll end up making you hate me.”

Amy sighed. “Listen to me. You are the same person. You have the same heart, the same soul, everything. You’ve just buried it underneath a lot of anger and hurt. I’m going to help you dig that person back up. I love you no matter what, but it’s time you came back to the living and realized life is here to live.”

Dottie felt tears gather in her eyes. Tears she didn’t want to let fall, but she knew they would. “A, I don’t know if I can be that person again. It hurt too much.”

Amy hugged her friend, helping her sort through all the pain. “You can be that person and more. I know how hurt you were. But you have to forgive to heal. I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t think you were ready. I’ve been talking to Howie. They want to talk to you. All of them are miserable because of this. They miss you.”

Dottie felt the familiar tension around her heart at hearing this, but she didn’t feel the anger she thought she would. She felt sadness. “I miss them too, A. Oh God, how I miss him.”

“Him? Howie? I didn’t know there was anything between you and Howie. Isn‘t he married?”

Realizing her slip, she knew she would have to explain what she meant. “A, no, there is nothing between Howie and me other than a friendship that used to be. It was never anything more. Yes, he‘s married…at least he was when I left.”

Amy knew she was hiding something. She had found a crack in the armor her friend had built up around her. “Come on, tell me. What’s going on? Who do you miss so much?”

Knowing there was no way out of it, she replied, “Nick. I miss Nick.”

“Nick? Nick Carter? I didn’t realize there was anything…” Amy trailed off as the truth dawned on her. “You love him, don’t you, D? And he doesn’t know?”

Dottie dropped her head to hide her tears. “Yes, I love him and no, he doesn’t know. Are you satisfied now? Amy, you can’t say anything, promise me you won’t.”

“Girl, you know I won’t say a thing, but I think you should. You and Nick were always so close. I bet he cares as much for you.”

“No, you are wrong, A. He and I were just friends. Nothing more. He wouldn’t love someone like me.”

“Someone like you? What do you mean someone like you? You are the most wonderful person I’ve ever known, D. You’ve been the one person I could always turn to.”

Dottie felt the tears clog her throat as she fought back a sob. “No, you have been the only person I could turn to. Through the whole mess with Jake, you never once abandoned me, like so many people did. Like Nick did.”

Amy lightly shook her friend. “How can I make you see that they didn’t abandon you? I wasn’t going to throw this on you now, but you have to know.” At Dottie’s questioning glance, she continued. “They all tried so hard to get into see you. They came to me day after day telling me they needed to see you. I told them that you were so hurt, I wasn’t going to mention it to you, about them wanting to see you, until I thought you were ready. I think you are ready now. Dottie, if it hadn’t been for them, the truth wouldn’t have come out. Nick figured it all out and Howie is the one who weaseled a confession out of Jake. The rest of the guys had a hand in it, but those two really out-did themselves in trying to free you. They knew you were innocent, girl. They knew.”

For the first time in over a year, Dottie cried. Really cried. Amy held her friend tightly as she let all her pent up emotions spill out. When Dottie finally calmed down, she pulled back, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “I have to see them, A. I have to see Nick.”

CHAPTER 3

Dottie held out a week before she gave in and agreed to meet with the Boys. She wanted to, but she was so afraid. She knew she owed it to them and to herself. She had built a safe world in her mind by turning off her feelings. She knew when she met with them, the walls would crumble, and they would be able to hurt her. She had to figure out a way to keep them at arms length.

She talked Amy into going with her. Amy had agreed because she was afraid Dottie would run if she had the chance. The meeting was set up in a private dining room at a local restaurant, which happened to be one of Dottie‘s favorites. The girls arrived first and Amy was giving her a pep talk when the guys walked in.

Dottie's breath caught in her throat. She couldn't take her eyes off Nick. He locked his gaze on hers, giving her the briefest hint of a smile.

When they reached the table, there was an awkward silence. Not knowing what to say, Dottie just glanced at each of them. They all looked as uncomfortable as she was. Howie cleared his throat, breaking the tense silence.

"Dottie thanks for meeting here with us. We really wanted to talk to you."

She almost didn’t find the strength to respond until she got a nudge from Amy. When she spoke, her voice was just barely audible to them. “It’s ok, I think I owed this to you and to myself.”

Before any of them could help her with her chair, she had seated herself at the table, motioning Amy to sit beside her. With a wall on the other side of her, she felt she had put as much distance between her and them as she could physically. Mentally was a different story. She could feel the butterflies swimming in her stomach as they all quietly studied their menus, deciding what to order. She could feel Nick’s gaze on her, but she didn’t dare look up from her menu. If she had, she just might have sailed across the table and into his arms, begging him to never let her go. He sat down straight across from her and it was making her even more nervous.

The waiter arrived to take their orders. Since Dottie hadn’t been paying attention to the menu, she decided to play it safe and order what she always ordered here. “I’ll have the grilled shrimp platter, with a baked potato and iced tea, please. Sweetened, with lemon.” Catching Nick’s glance, she caught the hint of a smile. She always ordered the same thing here and he always managed to eat half of her shrimp. It was almost like a game back then, only now, it wasn’t a game anymore. She almost changed her order, but she realized how childish that would sound, so she sat back listening to the rest of them place their orders. She wasn’t a bit surprised that Nick ordered sirloin tips, with fries and tea. He always ordered the same thing too.

As the waiter walked away, Brian decided to get the ball rolling. “Dottie, first of all, we wanted you to know how sorry we all are about how all of this happened. When we were first told that someone had stolen from us, we were so angry.”

Howie picked up the story there, “Yeah, but when they told us it was you, we didn’t want to believe it. None of us. Not until they brought out the computer records. You see, Jake told us no one used that computer but you. We didn’t realize he knew the passwords and everything as well. What he showed us looked pretty solid, but we still didn’t want to believe it.”

AJ chimed in, “Yeah, we told them you couldn’t possibly do it, and then we were told they had other proof. That other proof being all the new clothes and expensive jewelry you began wearing. Not to mention the diamond watch. No one knew where that money came from.”

At the mention of the watch, her gaze collided with Nick. Only they knew where the watch had really come from. It was a gift from Nick. He had said he saw it and decided it would look good on her, so he bought it. She fought with him about it, telling him it was too much, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He had told her it would hurt his feelings if she didn’t take it. In the end, she agreed, but only because she knew how stubborn Nick could be. But secretly, she had loved the watch, and to this day, she cherished it. Even though it was packed away and she hadn’t worn it since before her trial.

Before she had a chance to respond, their food arrived. As the waiter gave them all their plates and refilled their glasses, she watched Nick. Looking at him, it felt like old times. He hadn’t changed. If anything, he was better looking. Gone was that eager look of innocent youth, replaced by something more powerful. The past year had changed him almost as much as it had her. He was truly a man, decisive and determined, but she could still see traces of the carefree soul she fell in love with.

After the waiter moved away, Nick cleared his throat. “Fellas, I think you should know that I bought that watch Dottie has. You do still have it, right? They didn’t take it away?”

She shook her head. “No, I have it.”

Brian glanced at Nick, shaking his head. “Man, why didn’t you tell us you bought it?”

Nick shrugged. “Because she asked me not to. You guys know how close we were. Hell, she knows things you guys don’t know about me. I just bought her a gift, it was no big deal. Besides, none of you mentioned all of that to me, I didn’t think you noticed.”

AJ piped in, “Oh, we noticed, Nick. But you were so mad at us after her arrest and the trial, we couldn’t talk to you.” Seeing the confused looks Amy and Dottie gave him, AJ blushed. “Well, it took Nick about a week to show us how pigheaded we were being. He never believed you did it for a second. Finally, we did listen and we believed him. We began working to free you, but Jake kept throwing up road blocks. He knew we were looking, and he tried to cover himself, but he failed.”

Dottie wasn’t sure what to say. She believed them. In her heart, she knew they were telling her the truth. Her heart, though, what little there was left, was in definite danger here. She laid her fork down, finally meeting their gazes, one at a time. “I believe you guys. I do. But so much has happened; I’m not sure what to say. What you want me to say. I don’t think going back is possible. Going forward would be nice, if I just knew how. I have to find who I am again, and I’m not sure I can do that here. I think I need to move away for a while.”

After saying that, she picked up her purse, made her way from behind the table, and before anyone could stop her, she ran for the door, almost knocking down the poor waiter. Amy watched her leave, the shock clearly evident on her face. “Did she just say she was moving away?”

Brian sighed, “That’s what she said.”

Amy grabbed her purse, jumping to her feet. “Oh hell no. She is not leaving. I just got her back to her old self, for the most part. I’ll be damned if I let her move away.”

Nick asked, “Got her back? What do you mean Amy?”

Amy sighed, sitting back down. “It’s a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?”

AJ grabbed her hand. “Amy, we have to know. What happened to her?”

CHAPTER 4

Amy settled back in her chair, realizing just how much these four men cared for her friend. She had never gotten very close to any of them, but she was seeing them now, in a new light, for the first time. AJ, happy-go-lucky rebel, but deep down, a caring friend, wanting to make everyone happy. Howie, faithful and sweet, wanting to make the pain go away. Brian, sensitive and charming, willing to admit he's wrong and try to make up for it. Nick, wonderful, dedicated Nick. It was easy for Amy to see why Dottie loved him. The look on his face was enough to convince Amy he loved D just as much. She couldn't believe the rest of the group didn't see it.

Brian began by saying, "Amy, what happened to her? She seems so different."

Amy looked at Brian, taking in his handsome features. In the back of her mind she was thinking, 'His wife was crazy for leaving him.' But she knew now was not the time to indulge in her fantasies. She had to help get Dottie back to being the person she used to be. The person she had buried deep inside.

"Brian, I don't know where to begin. Basically, D taught herself in prison not to care for anyone. Everyone turned their back on her. And on me. I never believed she was guilty, but all of our friends fell into the trap of the evidence. Guys, I don't blame you for believing the evidence. But I know her. I've known her for so long, we could be sisters." Moving her gaze to Nick, she continued. "Nick, I know you were close to her and you believed in her. But your hands were tied. Your management company made your statements for you. I know that now, watching you with her today. But she doesn't. She spent the time she was in prison, building up her defenses. Putting up walls around her heart that no one could penetrate. I almost didn't. But I didn't give up on her. She's opened up to me in the past couple of weeks, but I never knew she planned on leaving. This is the first time I had heard about it."

By now, Amy had tears in her eyes and a little catch in her voice. Brian reached out, taking her hand. The electric current that ran between them was a shock to them both. Their eyes met, and if they had been alone, there was no doubt in Amy's mind Brian would have kissed her. But now was not the time. Besides, she didn't even really know him. How could she be feeling this way?

Brian held her hand as he spoke. "Amy, we know we can never make up to her the time she was in prison. But she has to know how much we care about her."

"Brian she does. And it's got her scared. She feels that if she doesn't let anyone close, she won't get hurt. She has to heal in her own time, but if she runs off alone, she won't ever heal. I have to stop her."

AJ set his glass down, sliding back his chair. "No, Amy, WE have to stop her. We have to let her know we won't hurt her again and that we care about her."

All of them agreed with AJ and began to rise from the table. Amy sat for a second, amazed by them. She knew they cared, but they were willing to help her break Dottie out of her shell. Things just might work. If they catch her in time.

Dottie was throwing clothes into her suitcase. She knew they would follow her. She had to get out before they got there. All of the sudden she stopped. 'Where will I go?' she thought. 'I have no money, no friends.' She stopped on that thought, her eyes misting up. 'I have Amy. How can I keep taking from her when there is nothing left of me to give?' The sobs racked her body as she dropped to the floor, desolation and loneliness overtaking her. She wanted to get back to who she was. Get a job, live her life to the fullest. Be the kind of person she could be proud of. She wanted to be the kind of friend Amy deserved to have. She knew in her heart what she wanted most was Nick. Nick to come and hold her, tell her everything would be ok. She didn't think he could ever love her the way she loved him, but she wanted her friend back.

This was how Amy found her. Lying on the floor curled into a ball. She had convinced the guys to wait while she checked things out. Now she was glad she did. Sitting down beside Dottie, she could see she wasn't sleeping, just worn out from crying. Squeezing her shoulder, Amy just waited.

Dottie rolled her head over to look at Amy. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her head throbbed. "Amy, you've done so much. You cared when no one else did. You've taken care of me. I can't keep taking from you."

"D, don't you say that. I want you to be the wonderful person you are. You aren't taking a thing from me. Don't you get it? You have always been here for me. Through all my troubles, you were there. This is my chance to do for you what you did for me. I don't want you to ever feel like you take anything from me. Friends take care of each other and now it's my turn."

Tears spilled out of Dottie's eyes, as well as Amy's. They shared a lengthy silence before Amy stood up. "I know what you need, girlfriend."

Dottie didn't move as she watched her leave. She felt too drained. She closed her eyes, thinking Amy was heading for the kitchen to get ice cream. That was their comfort food.

The door opened again, but she didn't open her eyes. She was exhausted. Nick took one look at her and almost cried himself. Amy said she was in bad shape, but she just looked so small and fragile. Nick quietly crossed over to her, dropping down beside her.

She knew it was Nick, but she couldn't move. She knew Amy had sent him. Nick gently reached over, stroking her hair back off her face. Her eyes slowly opened, locking with his. Fresh tears flooded her eyes when she saw the tears in his. He whispered, "Let me be here for you Dottie. Don't make me leave."

She crawled to her knees, sliding onto his lap and into his arms. Nick wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight as she cried.

Amy, Brian, AJ, and Howie had followed him and watched as he gathered her into his arms. Amy quietly led them away, letting Nick take care of her. She knew in her heart if anyone could get through to her, it was Nick.

CHAPTER 5

Amy led the guys back to the kitchen. She didn't know how, but her hand had ended up in Brian's and if felt good. She looked at him, smiling slightly when he grinned at her. They settled in the kitchen, Brian finally releasing her hand as she made them all something to drink.

Howie finally broke the silence. "I can't believe how hurt she is. She always seemed so strong. I guess prison was worse than we all thought it would be for her. I guess we didn't want to realize how bad it must have been. Damn, how insensitive can we be?"

"D-Man, we weren't thinking,” AJ says. “Not really. I guess we wanted to believe there wasn't any after effects of what happened. We're just dumb men."

Amy was shocked at what AJ said. "AJ, you aren't dumb. Any of you. You want to make things right for her. She's good at hiding what she's feeling now. As well as I know her, she hid it from me. You couldn't have known."

Howie spoke up quietly. "What can we do for her Amy? We want to help you find your friend. Find our friend. What should we do?"

"Howie, I think the best thing for her is if we don't crowd her. Let Nick take care of her. You all know how close they were. I think he is just what she needs. He can help her more than I can."

Brian could sense her sadness at that statement, and he reached over to hold her hand. "Amy, you have spent the past months pulling her out of her shell. I can't read her mind, but I bet she feels like she's a burden to you. She used to be very independent. It's hard to give that up."

Amy sighed, looking at their hands joined together on the table. "Thanks Brian, I know that. It's just, she's my best friend. If I can't help her, what good am I?"

None of them saw Nick and Dottie come into the room. Dottie heard what Amy said, and she felt really bad about what she had made her friend feel. She broke the tense silence by saying, "A, you never gave up on me, how could you think you haven't helped me? I depend on you to keep me sane, and it isn't really fair to you. It's time I got back on my own two feet."

Nick slid his hand around her from behind, resting it on her stomach. "Amy, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have Dottie back the way she is now. She would have shut us all out." Dottie leaned her head back on his shoulder as he continued. "Today was just the breaking point. She's finally realized she needs us in her life, whether she wants to admit it or not. And, I don't know about all of you, but I'm not letting her shut herself off from me. Not again."

AJ was quick to jump in. “No, none of us are letting you shut us out. We made that mistake before; we aren’t going to do it again.”

Amy stood, walking over to Dottie. The two friends hugged as Amy promised, “I’m not going anywhere, D. You’re stuck with me.”

Dottie choked back a sob as she hugged Amy. “A, you’ve never given up on me, and I love you so much for that. But I think I need to be alone for a bit. Just to get my bearings for myself. I won’t shut myself off, I promise, I just need time. Time to figure out what I’m going to do with my life.”

Howie stood up, moving to put his glass in the sink. “Dottie, that’s easy. You’re going to do what you do best, run our lives. When you’re ready, we want you back. Not affiliated with the record company, but just for us. We’ve never been able to handle things with another assistant. No one understands us the way you did. We won’t push you, but think about it, ok? We want you back.”

She looked around the room at all of them. Nick sensed her uneasiness and wrapped his arm around her waist. Leaning down, he said, “Dottie, we know you aren’t ready, but we want you to know that when you are, you have someplace to go. It’s where you belong.”

Amy gave her friend a watery smile. “Where do you want to go D? I know you need time, but I want to know where you are going.”

Nick piped in then, shocking them all. “She’s staying at my house in Florida while we are on tour. She’ll have her privacy and we can all get in touch with her.”

All of them seemed shocked, but Brian recovered first. “Well, that’s great. Yeah, you’ll have all the privacy you want. Nick’s house is definitely secluded. It’s the only one the fans can’t find.”

“They still haven’t found it?” Dottie’s question caught them all off guard as she watched Nick.

Nick blushed, looking around the room. AJ found his voice first. “She knows where your house is doesn’t she? You swore us to secrecy, we couldn’t even tell our families.”

Dottie popped in, surprising them all. “I helped him find his house guys. We spent two weeks shopping for it.”

Amy was shocked. “Two weeks? And you didn’t tell me what was going on?”

Dottie blushed. “Amy, it’s no big deal, just house hunting. He wanted seclusion, we found it.”

Amy knew there was more to it than that, but she kept her mouth shut. She had a feeling that was when her friend fell for Nick. “Oh, ok. I’m sorry. I just never realized you helped him out. You know, that sounds like a good idea, D. Just to get away. But you do know I’m always going to be here if you need me.”

Dottie hugged Amy’s neck. “I know that, Amy. I just have to be by myself while I figure out what to do. How to move on.”

CHAPTER 6

"Nick, I promise, I'm going to be fine. You've showed me where everything is, twice. I know all the cell phone numbers by heart, and Amy is a phone call away. You're gonna be late meeting the guys to begin this around the world trip. You have to go." Dottie was doing her best to convince Nick to go ahead and leave. She had been at his house just a few hours and already she felt like she had come home. The past month with Amy had been easier. Their friendship had grown stronger than ever, and Dottie had finally been able to talk about her feelings for Nick. She couldn't believe how much better it felt to have someone to talk to about this.

Nick brought her back from her reverie. "Dottie? D, where are you?" He was standing in front of her holding her shoulders. She kind of liked it that the guys picked up on her and Amy’s nicknames. And they used them a lot!

Dottie smiled. "I'm here Nick, wondering what Howie is going to do to you if you are late."

Nick groaned, "Don't remind me. Are you sure everything is ok? Do you know where everything is? Is there anything you need?"

Dottie placed her hand over his lips, silencing him. A jolt of pleasure swept through her at the contact. "Nick, umm, I'm fine. You need to leave. I'll be ok." Without thinking, Nick kissed her fingertips, causing her to shiver. She moved her hand down to his shoulder. "Nick, I'll be ok. You can call me every ten minutes if you need to, but you have to go."

Nick sighed, pulling her into his arms for a tight hug. "You're right. It's just, you look so happy, I don't want to leave. I want to stay and talk with you, like we used to talk."

"We will, Nick, but right now, you have a tour to start. And I have to find myself." Without thinking about it, her arms tightened around his waist as she buried her head in his chest.

Nick felt ten feet tall as she stood in his arms. He wanted to conquer the world for her, give her the moon. And she was almost ready to let him. Pulling back slightly, he placed a kiss on one cheek, then the other, then on the tip of her nose before covering her lips. Dottie felt weak as his lips sealed over hers; gently teasing them with his tongue. Before she knew it, she had deepened the kiss, taking Nick's tongue inside her mouth. Nick moaned, holding her closer as their mouths devoured each other.

When she finally pulled back, Nick looked into her eyes. Both of their faces were flushed, and she could see a look of desire in his eyes. "Nick, umm, what was that for?"

Nick sighed, pressing his forehead to hers. "That was because I can't resist you, even though I know you aren't ready for it. I've wanted you for so long, but I don't want to mess up our friendship. I don't think it will mess it up, but I don't know what you think, what you feel, what you want. I‘m sorry if I offended you, D."

Dottie sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "Nick, please don’t be sorry about kissing me. I’m not sorry. But I'm not sure I'm ready. Can we take it slow and see how things go?"

Nick held her close, placing gentle kisses on her forehead. "Yes, we can take it slow. I'll call you tonight from the plane. Remember, if you need anything, call. And I showed you where the emergency cash is. Anything else?"

Dottie looked into his eyes, knowing with all her heart she loved him, and wanting to tell him so. "Yes, Nick, you have to go. Call me and I'll call you, and everything will be ok. I'll miss you."

Nick stepped back, holding her hand as he grabbed his suitcase with the other hand. "I'll miss you too. Behave yourself. No wild parties, no orgies in the kitchen."

Dottie laughed at his list as she walked him to his car. "Have fun, Nick. And stay safe."

Nick hugged her quickly, dropping a quick kiss on her lips. "For you, Baby, I will. I'll call."

Dottie waved as he pulled out of sight, and then hugged herself, dreaming of the feeling of his arms around her, his lips on hers. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe. Happy. Secure. Running inside, she grabbed the phone to call Amy.

CHAPTER 7

The next 4 months passed in a blur for the guys, but time just dragged along for Dottie. She was alone and for the first few weeks, she loved it. She watched movies, listened to music, and she cried. She cried the kind of cry to heal her soul. Now she was lonely. She called Amy everyday. And Nick called her every night. Every time she heard his voice, she fell deeper in love with him.

She watched MTV when the boys made it back to the US in early November. They all looked so tired and weary. Her eyes watched Nick as he walked off the plane, wishing he could just come home to her. Home. Nick's house felt like home to her. Like she had always belonged there.

After the commercials, she watched the interviews. They sounded whipped. Nick's voice sounded raspy, almost as if he had a sore throat. Without realizing it, she had moved to the floor in front of the TV, her hand reaching out to trace his face on the screen. Her feelings shook her to the core as she realized that without Nick, her life meant nothing. She had to tell him she loved him.

She picked up the phone and dialed Amy, her eyes never leaving the screen. When Amy picked up, Dottie fell apart. "Amy, you have to help me. I need to get to New York before the guys leave."

Amy knew she was upset. "Calm down, D, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you ok?"

Dottie took a deep breath to calm down. "I'm fine Amy, it's just Nick is in New York and I need to be there. I saw them on TV and he’s so tired and I need him to know…I need to tell him that I…"

When she trailed off, Amy understood. "Let me make a call, D. I'll call you right back. Get packed girl, you're going to the Big Apple!"

Amy hung up the phone, and then picked it right back up, dialing Brian's cell phone. She knew the interview was over, she had been watching too. When he answered, her heart skipped a beat. "Brian, this is Amy."

Brian was shocked she called. "Yeah, I recognized your number. How are you, A?"

"I'm good Brian, but I need a favor." She paced around her living room as she told Brian what was going on. "Brian, we have to get her to New York. She's falling apart now. She needs Nick."

Brian pinched his nose, trying to fight away the tiredness. "OK, Amy, I'll get some arrangements made. Call and tell her I'll have a car pick her up and get her to the airport. Do you need a car to pick you up or will you make it ok?"

Amy gasped, "Me? I'm not coming. She is."

Brian whispered, "Don't you think she'll need someone with her? I mean, we're all wiped out. We planned on staying in New York for three or four days, just to recover. Nick will sleep for 24 hours, if we get him to the hotel."

Amy realized in horror he must be dragging. "Oh Brian, I didn't even think about how tired you must be. I'm so sorry. Don't worry about it, I'll figure something out."

Before she could rush on, Brian stopped her. "It's ok, Amy. I'm glad you called. Nick's been a real pain behind the scenes. Moody. He needs this. And to be honest, I kind of wanted to see you myself."

Amy was glad Brian couldn't see her mouth drop open. "Me? You want to see me?"

Brian didn't mean to blurt it out like that. "Yeah, I do. So will you come with her?"

Amy thought for a minute then whispered, "Yes."

Brian heard her and sighed in relief. “OK, someone will call you in a few minutes with details and you can call D. I won't tell Nick, she can surprise him."

Amy giggled. "That sounds wonderful, Brian. Thank you."

"No, thank you Amy. We lost something precious to us a long time ago. You helped us get it back, plus we got you too. That’s a bonus! Get packed, someone will call you shortly. Have a safe trip and I'll see you soon." Brian hung up feeling refreshed. Calling Howie, he explained what was going on. Brian knew he had slept on the plane. He would do this. When Brian explained what was going on, Howie said he'd take care of it and Brian went to crash. He needed some sleep before seeing Amy again.

Amy sat waiting on Dottie's plane. She had been there for about 20 minutes when the announcement was made that the plane had landed. She stood at her seat, her suitcase by her feet. She saw Dottie coming toward her and she felt like crying. The shadows were gone. Her friend had finally come back.

Dottie saw her and they laughed, hugging each other as if they had been apart years, not months. Amy stepped back, looking at Dottie. "Girl, you look wonderful. Are you ok, D?"

Dottie felt herself blush as they started toward baggage claim. Outside the airport was a long black limo. The driver held a sign with their names on it. He opened the door for them, helping them inside before depositing their bags in the trunk.

As the car moved off, he closed the divider window. This was the break Amy needed. "OK, girl, spill it. Why did you have to come to New York? What's going on, D?"

Dottie was expecting the questions. She just wasn't expecting her reaction to them. Instead of the familiar need to withdraw into her shell to hide, she felt her heart expand with love. Amy could read her just like she used to. She really was herself again. As she fought off the tears, she whispered, "A, I have to tell Nick how I feel. I can't wait."

Amy grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly. "How do you feel, D?"

"I love him A. I love him so much I ache with it. I've always loved him." The tears spilled down her cheeks as she told her friend everything.

CHAPTER 8

Amy and Dottie made their way through the lobby of the hotel, almost skipping they were so excited. Carlos met them at the front desk. Carlos and Dottie had been good buddies before everything fell apart. She was hoping they could be again. She couldn't believe how happy she was to see him, and even more than that, she couldn't believe the hug he gave her.

"Girl, it's about time you got here. You have to do something about Nick. He's driving us crazy." Dottie could read through the rough comment. She knew he was happy to see her.

"Carlos, I love you too, and I'm glad to see you again." He blushed at her comment causing her to laugh.

"OK, ladies, let's get you to your rooms. All the guys have crashed. All but Howie and you know how he is. Making sure everything is working." The weariness in his voice didn't go unnoticed.

"Carlos, Howie isn't the only one. You look exhausted." Dottie touched his arm and whispered, "Thank you for taking care of us, now you go get some sleep. We're ok. We can get to our rooms fine. Although…” As she trailed off, Carlos gave her a curious look. "Can I go to Nick's room, Carlos? I won't wake him. I just want to be there when he…”

Carlos sighed. Then he smiled. "Yes, you can. I got the key already because I knew you'd want to go to him. Amy, I'll see you to your door, and Dottie I’ll leave you with Nick. He's going to be mad that we didn’t tell him you were coming.”

Amy laughed, "No, he won't. He won't think about it at all. He's just going to be ecstatic to see her." As Dottie blushed, Amy laughed harder.

Carlos smiled. “Come on girls, I need sleep. Your rooms are on the same floor as the guys. It’s easier.”

As they walked off the elevator on the 7th floor, Dottie felt the butterflies in her stomach. Carlos placed something in her hand. It was a key. “Here you go. He’s at the end of the hall. Room 742. If you decide to leave him alone for a while, you and Amy are in 740, right next door, ok?”

Dottie shook her head yes and started down the hall. As if in a daze, she turned back, hugging Amy then Carlos. “Thanks you two, for everything.”

Amy watched her make her way to Nick’s door. She whispered to Carlos as Dottie opened the door. “She’s ok. She’s finally back to her old self.”

Carlos agreed, walking Amy to her door. “Nick won’t hurt her, Amy. He cares too much.”

Amy kissed his cheek then stepped into her room. “I know Carlos. They love each other.”

Dottie stepped inside Nick’s darkened room, letting her eyes adjust before she moved away from the door. She stepped quietly inside, listening to his deep, steady breathing. She walked further into the room and her heart melted. He lay on top of the bed, still dressed. Tears gathered in her eyes because she knew how very tired he was.

She walked over to him, reaching down to slide off his shoes and socks. He never moved. She pulled the blanket from the other bed in the room and spread it over his sleeping form. He mumbled something she didn’t understand. She slid down to sit on the edge of the bed, her eyes on his face. She reached up gently pushing the hair back off his forehead before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on it. He sighed deeply, shifting slightly on the bed. Without being able to resist, she stood, quickly shedding her coat and kicking off her shoes. Very gently, she lifted the covers and slid onto the bed beside him. As if on instinct, he curled her into his body, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She sighed, placing her head on his shoulder and snuggling in closer. Now she felt she was where she belonged. If only he feels the same way.

CHAPTER 9

Nick couldn't understand why he couldn't roll over. He felt like something was holding him down on the bed, but he just couldn't figure out what. He tried to move again, only to realize someone was laying with him. Forcing his eyes open, he tried to focus on who was with him. His eyes grew wider when he saw Dottie sleeping in his bed, her head on his shoulder, and her arm around his waist. He was holding her close to his body. One of her legs rested on his.

His eyes misted as he realized what this meant. She wanted to be with him. Now if only she loved him, things would be perfect. He gently kissed the top of her head. She moved in her sleep, snuggling closer. He just held her, not believing how good it felt to have her here. Looking down, he saw her looking back at him with a sleepy smile on her face. "Hi Nick."

"Hey D. How did you get here?"

Dottie pulled back a little, looking up into his face more fully. "By plane. And you?”

“OK, Miss Smarty-Pants, you know what I mean. Why are you here in New York?” His question seemed innocent enough, but inside he was hoping for one specific answer.

“I wanted to see you, Silly!” was her reply. She was stalling for time because she was so nervous.

Nick looked a bit confused. "You wanted to see me? Is everything ok?"

"Yes, Nick, everything is fine. Don't worry. I just wanted to see you. I needed to talk to you about something." She was moving her hand lightly up and down his chest as she spoke. He couldn't believe how good her touch felt, even through his shirt.

"Tell me what's going on, D. What's on your mind?"

"You are on my mind, Nick. I missed you so much. I wanted to come and be here for you. I saw you on TV. You looked so tired. You sounded so tired."

Before she could go on, Nick leaned down, covering her mouth with his. His tongue gently licked her lips, begging to move inside her mouth. She hesitated for only a second before her lips parted, allowing Nick's tongue to touch hers. All thought left her mind as he deepened the kiss, rolling over slightly to partly cover her body with his. His arms pulled her closer as her free hand moved to his head, tangling in his hair pulling him even closer.

He moaned in pleasure, his lips devouring hers. When he finally pulled back, they were both flushed with excitement, knowing this was a turning point in their relationship. Nick placed his forehead on hers, staring into her eyes. "Baby, that was incredible. What brought all of this on?"

Dottie knew this was the moment of truth. "Nick, I was just…I wanted to…" When she trailed off, Nick leaned in and kissed her lightly. When he pulled back she whispered, "I love you Nicky. I wanted to tell you I love you. That's why I'm here."

Nick seemed stunned. For a minute she thought he didn‘t hear her, and then she saw the smile begin to form on his face. She used her finger to trace his lips. He kissed it lightly, then whispered, "I love you too, D. I've always loved you."

Tears formed in her eyes and rolled down her face. Nick leaned in, kissing them all away. He pulled her closer to his body, as close as he could and held her. She knew that this was right. This was where she belonged.

CHAPTER 10

They spent hours laying on his bed. Sometimes talking, sometimes sleeping. Nick's weariness was evident to Dottie, so she told him she was as tired as he was, having been awake for most of their trek around the world. Keeping track of where they were and what they were doing. Nick never let her go, holding her close as they lay on the bed.

The following afternoon, the phone rang, waking them from another nap. Nick rolled over and sleepily answered it. "Hello?"

"Nick, this is Amy. I'm sorry to wake you, but can I talk to D? Is she awake?"

Nick looked down seeing Dottie looking back at him. He sort of grinned, "Yeah, Amy, she's awake. Hang on." He leaned down and kissed Dottie softly on the lips before handing her the phone.

Dottie watched Nick make his way to the bathroom as she put the phone to her ear. "Hey girl, what's up?"

"You're asking me? Girl, do you realize how long you and Nick have been locked in that room? What have you been doing?" Dottie could hear the laughter in Amy's voice and she smiled, so glad her friend couldn‘t see her blush.

"Amy, we've been talking and sleeping. I've never seen Nick so tired. Where are you?"

"We're in the dining room. Are you guys coming to eat with us?" Dottie could hear Brian in the background asking what was going on.

Dottie blushed again. "Yeah, we'll be there. I need to get some clothes. Could you come up for a minute and bring me a key?" She was hoping Amy would get the hint she wanted to talk. She did.

"Yes, I'll bring you the key. See you in a few minutes." Amy hung up. Dottie leaned over and hung up the phone, sitting up on the bed.

Nick came out of the bathroom, wearing clean shorts and a tank top. He looked so good, Dottie almost lost her breath. "Hey, Sweetheart, what did Amy want?"

Dottie found her train of thought after about 10 seconds. "Umm, they wanted to know if we were coming down to eat with them. They are waiting in the dining room. I told her we would, I hope you don't mind."

Nick could see she was still not sure of where their relationship was heading. He sat beside her, taking her hand. "It's ok, Dottie, I promise. We'll go as fast or as slow as you want. I'm not going to push you and if I ever do, tell me to back off. OK?"

"Nick, I'm just so unsure of how to act, what to say. I want to be everything you want, everything you need." She was wringing her hands together. Nick reached over and captured them.

"Baby, it's ok. You are everything to me. I love you. I'll always love you. That is never going to change. I promise, Dottie." He kissed her gently, lightly grazing her lips with his.

Dottie burrowed her head under his chin, breathing in his scent. He held her close till she pulled back. "Nick, I have to go. Amy is meeting me so I can get some clothes."

Nick laughed, kissing her one more time. "OK, Baby, I'll meet you in the dining room. I love you."

"I love you too, Nick." She hugged him tightly before he opened the door.

He walked with her down the hall to Amy's room. He kissed again after she knocked and was still kissing her when Amy opened the door. Dottie pulled back when Amy cleared her throat. Blushing, Nick chuckled and hugged her. "I'll see you in a bit, Beautiful. Hi Amy, how are you?"

Amy smiled, "I'm fine Nick. We'll be down in a few minutes."

Nick put his hand on Dottie's face, lightly caressing it. "I love you lady. Remember that."

CHAPTER 11

Dottie stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Amy just smiled and both girls started laughing. Amy hugged her friend, sharing in her joy. "Girl that was some kiss. What have you two been up to?"

Dottie blushed but answered her questions. "We didn't do anything but lay on his bed and talk. Of course we slept a lot, but nothing else happened."

Amy stopped her before she kept rambling on. "I believe you girl, I was just teasing. It's just so good to see you happy. You and Nick. I can't believe none of us saw it before. How close you two were. You're perfect together."

Dottie wiped her face, the tears pouring out of her eyes. She couldn't stop them. Amy just hugged her friend, letting her cry. When she finally calmed down, Amy pulled back, giving her a watery smile of her own. "You ok now, girl?"

"Yes, A, I'm ok. Just overwhelmed, I think. I know in my heart I've always loved Nick. I just never believed he would love me back. Not after all that happened."

"Dottie, all that happened was NOT your fault. You were a victim, the same as them. But it's over. Everything is over now. And you've got Nick. Can it get better?”