They stood facing eachother. He was screaming, rage in his eyes. She was crying, begging, so much fear in hers. She saw his rage. He didn’t see her fear. He only saw reasons to cause more pain.

So many harsh words were thrown into the air, along with several objects standing in the kitchen. So many of those objects broke, just like her heart.

She really wanted to scream back, but that would only cause more drama. It didn’t bring peace, no rest. She could only watch him.

“Dirty bitch! Slut! You couldn’t resist, could you?!” he yelled while he grabbed the bottle of beer from the kitchen table and took one long swig. He staggered some after he pulled the bottle away from his mouth. After that, he pointed at her with a disparaging look. “You are worth nothing. Absolutely nothing! The only thing you’re useful for is screwing all men in this fucked up city!” He took another swig. “You will die while screwing a man.” Then he fell unconsciously on the ground.

She looked at his face. His mouth hung open and drool dripped on the ground.

His words shouldn’t mean anything to her. They shouldn’t hurt her. She heard those words so many times before, she should be used to them. But they did hurt, because what he said was true.

She sighed and grabbed his arms and dragged him to the couch. With a lot of effort she lied him down on it. She rushed her hand through his blonde hair. “Still I’m staying with you, I have no choice,” she said and got up to go upstairs. She turned around when he mumbled something. He turned on his side with his back facing her. He wouldn’t be any trouble for a few hours.

When she fell down on the bed, a tear escaped rolling slowly over her cheek.

Every day started like this. After she returned from work in the morning, he was mostly walking around drunk through the house. As soon as he saw her, he started to complain about her work while he was the one who helped her getting this job. Well, he actually forced her to do this.

When he was sober he hit her, other times he was too drunk to do something. Whatever he did, he always ended up on the couch, whether he got there by himself or not. He always says he doesn’t want to share a bed with a woman who carries STD (while he fucks every other woman, as if he doesn’t risk getting STD doing that). Therefore, he claimed the couch because he thinks the bed is her home, where she belongs and will always belong.

While lying on her back, she kicked her high heels off her feet. She didn’t care she was still wearing her skanky work outfit. All she wanted was to sleep so she didn’t have to be in this cruel and unfair world for a while.

“I know what you like,” the black man said while he was busy unbuttoning his pants.

“Oh really? How do you know?” Evelyn smiled teasingly, already lying on the bed in cheap lingerie.

“A big black dick. All sluts like you love that,” he smirked while his underwear dropped to the ground.

Evelyn’s eyes widened. Big was an understatement.

“Make it quick. I have more customers,” she said while she unclasped her bra.

*******************************

“Shit, shit, shit. Why didn’t I send that bastard to Susie?” Evelyn mumbled while she sat on the toilet with crossed legs. Her vagina hurt so badly, she could barely walk.

“Oh well, he did pay me a 100 dollars for the quickie.” She grabbed her purse off the ground, put it in her lap and got the money out. “350 dollars today. Hell yes!” she smiled and, after admiring the bills, she put it back into her purse carefully.

There was a knock on the toilet door. “Eve? Honey, are you in there?” the voice of Susie, her friend and colleague, echoed through the small and dirty bathroom.

“Hold on!” she shouted while she stood up and pulled up her thong and straightened her skirt. She took her purse, unlocked the door and opened it.

“Hey sweetie. Wow, what the fuck happened to you?” Susie asked when she saw the way Evelyn walked out.

“Black man,” she moaned. “Next time I’ll give them to you. You’re a little more… elastic.”

They both laughed about that.

“You know what we should do? Get a surgery for our vaginas so we don’t feel any pain when we’re doing it. Those porn actresses do it too!”

“Susie, are you mad? We can’t even enjoy real sex when we do that,” Evelyn said full of disbelief.

“As if we get real sex. Come on, you know Nick doesn’t want to do anything with you because he’s afraid he’ll get all kinds of weird diseases.”

“No Susie. Do whatever you want but I’m not doing it. That goes too far for me.” She ignored Susie’s remark about Nick.

Susie shrugged. “Whatever. I’m not doing it either, costs me way too much! And Carlos wouldn’t want to pay it either. He doesn’t give a damn if I feel pain while fucking someone or not. Not that it hurts, but if it would…” She shrugged again.

Evelyn turned the tap and threw some water in her face. “Nick wouldn’t do it either. He spends his money on drugs, alcohol and parties. He says he wants to save for a new car but there’ll never be one.”

“Same for Carlos. Especially drugs. That shit costs him a fortune. I would know how to spend the money, not that I’m allowed to keep it, but still. Oh, the opportunities we would have if we could get rid of this shitty job,” Susie sighed.

“Dream on, girl,” Evelyn smiled sadly. “This is our life and nothing or anyone can change that.”

Susie smiled back in the same sad way.

*******************************

It was four in the morning but still very warm. Evelyn walked the street, a trench coat covering her exposing clothes. She grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her purse and lit one. She blew out the smoke and watched how it disappeared into the clouded night sky. When the smoke was gone, she saw she had reached Brooklyn Bridge. She heard someone muttering somewhere in the distance.

Probably a drunk guy, she thought.

She walked further and saw a man standing at the edge of the bridge. She looked around her for a second, suspecting what the man was about to do. He was the one who was muttering.

He stepped over the railing. The ledge he was standing on kept him from falling. He watched how the water of the river streamed under him.

 “Sir!” the man heard behind him.

Ignore it, you can’t go back, he thought.

She stood behind him now, her hands on the railing. “Please, step back over the railing,” she said while she tried to catch a glimpse of his face.

“Go away,” he mumbled.

“Don’t do this,” she pleaded.

“I said, go away,” he said a little louder.

“Why would you end your life like this? There’s so much to live for.”

“Not when it comes to me,” he replied gloomily.

She looked behind her and then back to him. She grabbed his hand that lied loosely on the railing.

He turned his head a little towards her. “Why do you want to help me? You don’t even know me.”

“I want to know what happened that made you want to end your life.”

“WHY?!” he screamed.

Evelyn didn’t even startle. “My life is as fucked up as can be and yet I’m not ending my life because I still hope it’ll get better. I wonder if your life is better or worse than mine.”

“I lost my wife and daughter and it’s my fault,” he sputtered, his voice cracking.

“And?” She kept looking at him.

“I’ve been dealing drugs for a while. Apparently, the drugs I sold him was crap, the quality wasn’t what I had promised. That’s what he said when I spoke to him on the phone. He had broken into my house and slaughtered my family. I wasn’t home, I was partying… while they..” He sighed deeply. Why was he telling all this to a strange woman?

Dark clouds drifted over them while they stood there. There was thunder that shook the ground.

Evelyn felt a raindrop falling on her nose. Then another drop. And another one. Until a downpour fell over them.

But neither of them made an attempt to find shelter.

“How hard it might seem to imagine this, there are more chances at love,” she whispered, her hand still on his.

The man looked up while the rain hid his tears.

“You didn’t lose the greatest love of your life,” he whispered.

“I already lost love. My chances are gone already,” she said in a bitter tone.

“Do you really think- wait, I’m not saying anything more. I don’t even know why I’m having this discussion with you. Just leave me alone. I don’t need your company.”

She felt how his hand tried to move from under hers. But she held her hand firmly on his.

“Fine. But before you jump and you die a slow death by drowning, know that your life will get better if you give it a chance. There are people in this world that have a life much worse than yours. And I’m not talking about myself.” Then she let go of his hand and walked away.

The man looked after her. Who is she? Why did she let herself get soaked just to let a loser like me change his mind?

She didn’t stop, she didn’t look back, she kept walking steadily. What a selfish bastard! He still has a chance to build a new life. She doesn’t even have a life. She doesn’t have any chances at all. Alright, the fact he lost his family, whether it’s his fault or not, is pretty tragic. But he’s not a prisoner. He can go everywhere he wants and start again.

Suddenly she was being turned around and saw two brown eyes looking at her. She could see how he looked like much better now. He was about her age, bald and she also noticed his nose piercing. She saw a tattoo in his neck.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“Does that matter?” she asked back.

“I’m stubborn, not everyone manages to convince me. I wonder why I’m convinced to continue life. How come your words refrained me from jumping?”

She crossed her arms across her chest. “No idea. But I’m glad I was so convincing, because normally I’m not like that,” she said with a small smile.

He smiled back with a full smile.

They both stood watching eachother in the rain.

“Go home,” she finally said and turned around to walk away. He grabbed her arm, turned her back around to him and kissed her.

At first, she didn’t know what happened to her. She didn’t know what to do. Unsure of what she did was right or wrong, she put her arm around his neck and kissed him back.

The kiss was short. Abruptly, she pulled back. “If you think that I’m your new love, you’re entirely wrong. I’m too risky for you,” she said and ran away.

He stood there, dumbfounded. He was wondering the same thing again.

Who is she?

Evelyn carefully closed the front door behind her. She took off her shoes and sneaked with both shoes in her right hand through the hallway. She looked into the living room but only the tv was on. The room was illuminated by the tv screen.

“Where the hell is he?” she whispered to herself.

She tiptoed into the living room and headed to the kitchen to check there. She stopped before she even touched the door handle. Before she even moved her hand forward. The moaning and pounding made her stand rooted to the ground.

“Who’s the slut now?” she mumbled and walked to the front door. Before she walked outside, she took a purple umbrella that stood leaning against the wall next to the door.

She wanted to slam the front door behind her but still closed it silently. She could slam it, Nick would probably be too busy to care about a slamming door. On the other side, you never knew what he would do. He could also be storming out of the kitchen and then he would scream at her. That was the last thing she wanted.

The rain decreased a little, but it was still raining too hard to walk without an umbrella. She unfolded the umbrella and held it above her head. She stood staring at nothing in particular for a few seconds.

She tried to think of someplace she could go to. Susie was no option, she would have Carlos on her hands. Of course, she had other friends in New York but she couldn’t go there at night. Her female friends were in the same business so they were either still at work or sleeping. Her male friends were either in jail or in such a deep trouble that she could barely hang out with them.

At that moment she realized how lonely she was. She hung her head down and tried to hold back a sob.

Don’t cry now, Eve, she thought. You have to dance it off of you. Everything. Like you did before.

She took a deep sigh, looked straight forward and started walking.

She had just enough money for a cab to Club New York, the entrance costs and one or two drinks. She knew she could get a guy to pay the rest of her drinks. Plus, she could save more money because it was Saturday night. And on Saturday night the ladies only had to pay 10 dollars to get in.

Being a woman has its advantages eventually.

After she dropped off her coat and umbrella at the wardrobe, she walked inside the room. The club had been open for a while, it was 2.30am. In half an hour it would close already. But that didn’t matter to Evelyn. She just had to dance.

When she went to the dance floor while dancing, Miami 2 Ibiza by Tinie Tempah and Swedish House Mafia thumped through the enormous speakers. Everyone danced even more. Girls started grinding against the crotches of men, men groped women’s asses and barkeepers started giving out more shots.

She stood on the dance floor for barely five minutes when a man came from behind her and rubbed his crotch against her ass. He placed his hands on her hips. She didn’t refuse, this is what she came for.

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the music that tingled her ears.

***

“Wake up.”

Why should she? She was having the most amazing dream.

Stubbornly, she kept her eyes shut. Go back to the dream.

She felt a hand shaking her shoulder carefully. A voice whispered close to her ear, “Wake u-huuuup!”

She screamed in her mind. Out of annoyance she waved her arm through the air and felt it connected with skin.

“Hell!” a raspy voice screamed. “The fuck! Why did you do that?!”

Her hand tingled from the slap. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder to see a man covering his cheek. “Damn woman, what was that for?” he said, half laughing, half annoyed.

It was no use to pretend to be sleeping. She stretched her arms and laid her hands under her head. “You deserved it. I don’t like to be waken up like that.”

He rolled his eyes. “Well, thanks for letting me know this way.”

She just shrugged.

“At least you’re awake, finally. I almost thought you were in some sort of coma.”

She recognized the man now. It was the man from last night, the one who tried to commit suicide. Two familiar brown eyes looked back to her. Wrinkles formed at the corners of his eyes as he smiled. She didn’t know why he smiled but it was contagious, she smiled back.

“I thought you would never wake up. Maybe in a 100 years just like Sleeping Beauty,” he smirked.

That was pretty cheesy, she thought.

“Change it to a 1000 years. Sleeping Beauty woke up by a kiss from a prince. I don’t have one,” she said and yawned.

“You actually beat Sleeping Beauty. You woke up after,” he looked at his watch, “10 hours.”

“That’s not fair. I woke up because you.. you.. just woke me up! She woke up by a kiss. Sorry, but she still wins, even if she waited a 100 years for it.”

“Well, go to sleep again, then I’ll make sure you win.”

She looked surprised at him. “What?”

An awkward silence filled the air. They looked at eachother. Suddenly he burst into laughter.

“Why the hell are we talking about Sleeping Beauty?”

She crossed her arms. “You started it.”

He just laughed. “You had a rough night, girl,” he said while he walked out of the living room.

“Rough? What do you mean rou- ooow!” Evelyn put both hands on top of her head and fell back into the huge blue pillow. A massive headache pounded, like the music of the night before, through her head and it seemed like it made her brain shake. As if someone tried drilling through her skull.

“Make it stop,” she groaned. Short after, a glass of water and 2 aspirins were being shoved in front of her.

“Take this,” the man said and gave the glass to her. She quickly swallowed the two pills, hoping they would do their work soon.

When the glass was empty, she gave it back to the man. “What happened last night by the way?” she asked.

“I watched how you were grinding against some pervert. I recognized you and kept an eye on you because I didn’t trust that guy at all. You already had a lot of drinks when I saw you. You probably received most of the drinks. Then all of a sudden you sunk to the ground and I ran to you. I took you to my home after that and lied you down on the couch. Then I went to bed,” he explained.

“I barely remember anything. The only thing I remember is when I walked to the dance floor and started dancing. From there my memory is a blur.”

“They put drugs in your drinks. You’re lucky you didn’t get an overdose or else you would’ve been lying somewhere else,” he said grimly. “Anyway, you want something to drink? Juice or something?”

“No, thanks. The aspirins were all I needed,” she said.

Evelyn looked around when a silence fell between them. She let her eyes rest on a wedding picture that hung on the wall.

She saw him, dressed in a white suit. Next to him stood a woman. She was very pretty. She was dressed in a black wedding dress. Her hair was held up with white roses. Her smiling lips were decorated with bright red lipstick. Evelyn thought the clothes were very odd, she never saw a bride in a black dress. The dress didn’t even look like a wedding dress.

She rather looked like someone out of Moulin Rouge.

Evelyn looked at the next photo. A cute girl of about four years old smiled back at her. One of her braided brown pigtails was pressed against a dark brown teddy-bear which she held firmly against her.

The next photo was a family portrait. The man together with his pretty wife and his cute daughter. They looked so happy.

“And then he broke into my house and slaughtered my family.”

Evelyn sighed shakily and felt a lump in her throat. She started to understand why the man wanted to commit suicide. She didn’t know what it was like to be married, or to love someone unconditionally. Neither did she know what it was like to have a child. But she did know what it was like to lose a loved one.

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

She startled from her thoughts. She just nodded. She noticed she had been sitting straight up and had her arms wrapped around her knees.

He kept staring at the pictures for a while, she couldn’t see which one of the three. Evelyn looked at her feet and started to feel uncomfortable. She should leave, back to Nick. If he finds out that she’s not at work she’ll get in trouble.

Before she wanted to speak, he said, “My name’s AJ, by the way.”

“Evelyn,” she said.

Another silence fell, but it wasn’t awkward. She thought about the kiss. It definitely wasn’t just a kiss. She remembered how her fingertips tingled, her heart pounded in her chest. 

She wondered if he was thinking about last night and desired for that kiss too.

She blushed as if she was afraid he knew what she was thinking about. She bit her bottom lip as a giggle escaped her throat.

Shit, what’s wrong with me?

“Ehm.. Maybe I should go. Thanks for saving me and taking care of me and.. stuff,” she said and got up.

He grabbed her hand. She looked at him in surprise.

“Please stay, I could use the company,” he whispered with a pleading look in his eyes, then he let go of her.

Evelyn sat down. She really had to go home, take a shower, get dressed and go to work. Before Nick would find out she was way too late.

But she’d feel guilty if she would leave now.

She could stay some longer.

Just a little longer.