Empty spaces fill me up with holes 

Distant faces with no place left to go 

Without you, within me I can’t find no rest 

Where I’m going, is anybody’s guess…

 “Jeez, Samantha…” I thought to myself.  “You could have picked a little more upbeat song to get you in the mood for the concert tonight.”  I still couldn’t believe that my best friend from high school had talked me into going to the NKOTBSB concert tonight.  Un f’ing real. 

 I heard the familiar tone from my Iphone indicating a text – “be there in 10 minutes – DC traffic SUX!” I smiled to myself and put the finishing touches on my make-up.  Not bad for 31 years old, I thought.  Running some shine oil through my auburn hair, I walked over to make the dreaded decision on what to wear.  Casual sexy or flirty and fun?  I pulled a cream colored lacy camisole over my head and slid into a pair of tailored faded jeans.  Casual sexy it is, I thought to myself as put some large, silver hoops in my ears.  One last run through of my hair and I was ready to go.  Or was I?  You know when you get one of those feelings – like somehow, something’s going to happen and things will never be the same?  Yeah, one of those.

 Walking out into my living room, I looked down at the love of my life.  “Hey bud,” I said as I tousled my little man’s hair.  “How was school today?” 

 Barely looking up from his video game, he replied “fine, no homework this weekend – how cool is that”.  The doorbell rang.  “Get that for me, please – it’s either Miss Jenny or Aunt Kendall.” I said as I went in the kitchen to make sure there was something in the fridge to feed a very hungry 10 year old. There wasn’t. 

 “Hey Jenny, here’s twenty bucks for a pizza – there’s nothing in here that Grayson will eat.” I said pulling a twenty out of my purse just as the front door burst open.

 “I’m here, let’s get the party started”, my friend Kendall screamed as she burst through the door.  Never a dull moment with her, I laughed.  One of my best friends in the world, Kendall had been there through everything with me.  Ups and down, thick and thin, she couldn’t have been closer to me if she was my sister.

 “Sorry, I’m late.” Kendall sighed.  “Between getting two kids fed, pj’s laid out and making sure Eric had everything he needed, it’s always a production getting out of the house.  When’s Payton going to be here?” 

 “We’re meeting her downtown at the venue.  She’s got some crazy client that she’s dealing with right up until I talked to her about 15 minutes ago – I told her we’d hit a happy hour before going to the show.  You KNOW I’m going to need to knock a few back if I’m really going to get through this night!” I looked at her with a knowing glance. 

 Kendall nodded.  “You’re going to be fine. This is going to be FUN!!!  Look at you, you look A-MAZ-ING”.

 “Ha!!  I tried – I don’t get out much!” I said as I grabbed my purse.

 “Be good for Miss Jenny tonight, Grayson!” I said as I kissed him on the forehead.  “I want to hear good things when I get home!”  “Okay, mom have fun!!” he replied.

 “Looking pretty sexy there tonight, Mama”, Kendall kidded me as we got into the elevator.  “Are you serious,” I laughed.  “I don’t get out much, this is NOT anywhere close to sexy,” I laughed. 

 “Oh sure, Ms. Stylist to the Stars, whatever…” Kendall sniped.   “You make it look so easy.”

 “Don’t I wish Kendall, maybe someday, now I’m just content to working with the ladies here in DC – don’t get me wrong – there’s plenty of money around here to work with – but you know my dream is to get out to LA someday, who knows maybe after Grayson goes to college – I’ll still be young,” I smiled.

 “I STILL cannot believe you talked me into this,” I said as the taxi driver started heading into DC. 

 “Okay, seriously Sam get over it! This night is about reliving the glory days – who could forget that summer!  You, me, Payton and….”, “Them….”, I said finishing her sentence.  “Who could ever forget!” she sighed.

 “Not me, obviously…” I said as the cab arrived.  As we got out of the car, the streets of DC were as crazy as could be expected for 6:00 p.m. on a Friday night in Chinatown, the heart of DC and right where the Verizon Center was.  Young professionals having a last Happy Hour before the weekend, combined with 25,000 people arriving for the concert that evening made for a very busy scene.  The Times Square of DC this area was known as. 

 I texted Payton that we had arrived, and told her where to meet us.  Working with a lot of high profile clients in the DC area, I knew the hot spots and I also knew the places to avoid.  “Let’s hit Zenga,” I said to Kendall as I motioned in that direction.  One of the quieter and lesser known places, but still a place to see and be seen.  We’d probably see a few familiar faces from the DC scene – young staff directors for congressman, maybe a couple of Top Chef’s, who knew.

 “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyy Gooooooooooooooooood,” I heard someone scream and grab me from behind in a huge bear hug.  “You BOTH look PHENOMENAL!” our friend Payton explained throwing her Chanel purse on the bar and ordering a Cosmo as she sat down gracefully on the bar stool.  Funny how the bartender already knew what she wanted.  “Is this night going to be FAB or what?” Payton said excitedly.  Her energy level astounded me.  From what she had told me she had been in meetings since 8:00 that morning, and yet still managed to look like she had just walked off the pages of Vogue in her short black skirt, and sky blue tank top.  Thigh high boots and silver jewelry completed the look.

 “My ass you were in meetings until just now,” I said.  “How do you always look like you’ve just walked off a fashion shoot?”. 

 Payton laughed, “Day to night chic, tell me you don’t know that, you’re a stylist – I hate to run back to my condo so I throw the shoes and jewelry I want in my bag and, VOILA!!!” she exclaimed as she ran her fingers through her straight, blonde hair.  Payton the golden girl, we’d always called her.  She was the one all the boys always wanted.  When we were freshman in college, she was our ticket to the senior parties.  So unassuming though, she couldn’t see how beautiful she really was.

 “So ladies, I have a little confession to make…I sold our tickets!!”, Payton said as she looked at us with a sly smile. 

 “You WHAT?,” Kendall shouted as she started to lunge at her.  There’s more to this, I thought as I looked at Payton’s face. 

 “Yup, sure did”, she said with a smug look on her face.  “Because my boss gave me THREE FRONT ROW TICKETS!!!  Ha ha ha ha!!”.  Kendall pretended to faint.  “Oh wow!!  It really will be like old times,” she laughed.

 That feeling was coming back into my stomach again.  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something, definitely something there….

 Where I’m going, is anybodiy's guess... 

As I sat there finishing off my martini, I stared into the candle flickering on the bar and thought back to that crazy summer so many years ago.