Chapter 1

 

 

 

Aj stood in the small dinning room of the cabin, his head was spinning, and he watched in horror as Chelsea went flying into the bookshelf.  His lungs stopped, his heart stopped, and he froze for a second as he watched the shelf wobble.  As it tipped forward Aj’s instincts finally kicked in and he dashed for the object falling over.

 

Everything from that point on went in slow motion, him running for the shelf, the arm that came out in front of him and slammed into his chest. As he gasped for air his eyes opened and he saw the shelf coming down onto her.  He heard the thunderous crash as the old trinkets and old books as they fell out of their places.

 

“Chelsea!” Aj called out as his eyes shot open and he sat up just as quick.  His short wavy hair soaked in sweat, his breath was short and quick as he gasped to get his breath back.  He reached for his chest and noticed there was no pain.  Quickly his eyes darted around the room, seeing the large dresser with the generic TV sitting on top of it, the generic table and chairs that sat in the corner of the room, and the small nightstand with a plain black lamp sitting on top of it on his right.

 

“Alex?” He heard Chelsea mumble from beside him and he quickly looked to his left.  His whole body relaxed as he saw her slowly sitting up and gently rubbing her eyes.  “Was that you?”

 

He didn’t say anything as he wrapped his arms behind her and pulled her against him.  Closing his eyes he inhaled the sent of her hair and lightly sighed realizing it was just a dream.  Her hands slid across his back and he felt goose bumps scatter across his arms and up the back of his neck.

 

“Alex, what’s wrong?” Chelsea asked as she pulled away to look at him but he wouldn’t let her.

 

“Bad dream.” He said as his fingers slid through her hair.  A soft moan of sympathy came from Chelsea’s lips, if there was anyone who knew about bad dreams it was her. 

 

Chelsea suffered from bad dreams because when she was sixteen she was taken from everyone by her Father and it wasn’t until a couple of months ago that they got her back.  Aj was on tour in Mexico when Kevin had called saying they had found her dad.  Everyone including Aj thought she was dead, imagine their surprise when the police found her in a small room, in the back of the house her Father was hiding out in.  Even though some people like Tim, Jerald and his Mother thought the best thing for Chelsea is for her and Aj to not be together but Chelsea and her Doctor told Aj something else.  Chelsea needs him to be around him, to feel his love because years of abandonment have left her wanting and that’s what Aj was going to do.  He loved her still after all these years and he wasn’t going to walk away from this one.

 

“It was about the cabin again wasn’t it?” She asked as she slowly pulled away from him and this time he let her.

 

“Yeah” Aj nodded lightly.  “I’m ok now though.” He said as he tried to fake a smile. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t look like it.” She said with a small frown.

 

“Yeah I just need a smoke and I’m good.” He said as she frowned.  “I promise when the tour ends I’ll look into quitting.”

 

“Look into?” She asked as he crawled out of the bed.

 

“Chels” Aj said and looked at her with a don’t start look as he grabbed his black pants.

 

“Fine.” She said putting up her hands.  “I guess it’s better than you not doing anything.”

 

He pulled his pants over his boxers, and then pulled his shirt over his head and down his body. Aj then walked over to the dresser and grabbed his smokes, cell and keycard, putting them into his pockets.  He turned around and walked over to Chelsea’s side of the bed and sat down on the edge.

 

“Wait up for me?” He asked as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

 

“I suppose.” She sighed sarcastically.  He lightly smiled at her as they both leaned in and kissed each other.  When they pulled away he softly smiled at her as he looked into her eyes.

 

“I won’t be long.” He said as he gave her one last quick kiss.  She nodded at him with a smile and he got up from the bed and walked to the door.

 

Making his way down the hallway that their rooms were on, he headed towards the end of the hall where the floors smoking room was.  He opened the door and walked in, not shocked to see there was no one there at three in the morning.  Lighting his smoke he sat down on one of the chairs and pulled his phone out of his pocket.  He looked at the bright blue numbers on the cell phone screen and did the math in his head on what time it would be in Florida.

 

Realizing it was still sometime in the evening there, he flipped his phone up and dialed his friends Chris’s number.  Putting the phone to his ear he took another drag from his smoke and waited for someone to pick up.

 

“Hello?” Said the voice on the other end of the phone.

 

“Hey bitch.” Aj said with a smile.

 

“Hey dude, uh what time is it where you are?” Chris asked.

 

“Like three in the morning, up having a smoke.” Aj said. “Figured I’d call see what you were up too, see if you were already for tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah man all packed at ready to go.” Chris told him.

 

“Sweeeet, did you get that thing?” Aj asked.

 

“Yeah and dude why didn’t you tell me it was going to be like getting it out of fort nox?” Chris said with a light laugh.

 

“Sorry, that’s why I told you to bring ID, they usually don’t let a third party pick it up but I’m out here.” Aj said apologetically.

 

“Yeah it’s cool, no worries though, I have it.”

 

“Awesome” Aj said with a smile.  He took another drag of his smoke and then proceeded to talk to Chris about when he would arrive in Liverpool.  When he finished his conversation he closed his phone and butted out his smoke.  Putting the phone back into his pocket he stood up and walked out of the room.  He made his way down the quiet hallway, everyone in the other rooms fast asleep.  As he approached his room he heard a door open behind him and he turned around.

 

“What are you doing up?” He asked when he saw Nick poking his head out the door.

 

“I dunno ask your Girlfriend, she’s the one who kept calling my damn room and hanging up.” Nick said half asleep. “If I find out Kevin put her up to it, I’m kicking his ass.” Nick sighed as he turned around and closed the door behind him.  Aj laughed and shook his head as he turned around and pulled out his keycard, unlocking his bedroom door.

 

Opening the door he walked into the room and then closed the door behind him, he then made his way over to the long dresser and put his smokes, cell, and keycard down on top.  He turned around and saw Chelsea laying in the bed with her eyes closed, on her side, her arms tucked under her pillow.

 

“Chels?” Aj said as he looked at her.  She didn’t say anything or move.  A small smile crept across his face.  He knew she wasn’t sleeping, not after pulling prank calls on Nick.  Pulling off his shirt and unbuckling his pants he let them fall to the floor and slowly crept up the bed, over top of her.  “Chelsea..” He sang lightly.  “Faker.”

 

“Am not.” She said as she laid there her eyes still closed.

 

“So someone was calling Nick’s room and hanging up, any idea who it was?” He asked as he gently kissed the side of her neck.

 

“Nope.” Chelsea said.  “Did you ask Brian?”

 

“Brian’s sleeping.” Aj said as he kissed her neck again.

 

“Maybe it was Kevin.” Chelsea said as she slowly rolled over.

 

“Maybe, but I think it was someone working under Kevin.” Aj said as he raised his eyebrow.

 

“Who’s that?” Chelsea asked confused.

 

“Don’t make him cranky, he gets cranky we all get cranky.” Aj said with a light smile.

 

“Ok.” Chelsea sighed.  “But you’re costing me free chicken wings.” Chelsea sighed.

 

“Chicken wings? Chels you sold yourself out to Kevin for Chicken wings?”

 

“What can I say.” She replied with a light shrug.  Aj laughed as he laid on his side beside her and slid his hand up her leg and stopped on her hip.

 

“Did you talk to Tim or Jerald today when you talked to Kevin?” He asked her.

 

“No” She said in a tone he had reacquainted himself with.  “Last time I talked to one of them they got mad that we were sharing the same room.”

 

“You know I would never push you.”

 

“I know.” She replied with a light smile and then she sigh.  “I just don’t get what their problem is.”

 

“It’s because of Kevin’s bachelor party.” Aj said.

 

“And I understand that but how long ago was it?” She asked.  “And you’ve proven you’ve changed, it’s not fair.”  Aj smiled at her and then lightly kissed her on the forehead.  “Besides can’t they hear what my Doctor is telling them?”

 

“We have to get up early so let’s get some more sleep.” He said as he crawled under the blankets.  Aj pulled her against him, her back facing him; he wrapped his arm over her and gently kissed her neck.

 

“We can still get you your own room.” He said and she rolled over slightly and looked at him.

 

“No” She replied lightly shaking her head.  “I haven’t really had a bad dream with you here beside me, at least not one that’s going to send me running all over the hotel.”  Aj lightly smiled at her.  “I don’t care what anyone says anymore Alex, my Dad is gone, my Mom is gone, I don’t understand why people want to take you away from me too.”

 

“Well they’re not Chels, I’m not going anywhere as long as you want me here.” He told her as his fingers gently drifted down her neck.

 

“And I do.” She told him.  “For a long time.”

 

“Then I’ll be here, no matter what anyone says.” He replied.  She turned to face him more and then kissed him.  When they pulled away Chelsea rested her head against Aj’s neck.  He closed his eyes as he wrapped her in his arms and let her get comfortable.  It wasn’t long until both were fast asleep again.

                                             Chapter 2

 

 

May 7th 2008

 

Another day another show. 

 

I’m here in Liverpool, England and it’s just about dinner time.  Then it’s off to the arena for the concert.  It’s just me and Chels tonight, figured I’d give her some alone time before Ma and the crew arrived, which looking at my watch should be soon.  Don’t get me wrong I’m glad Ma is coming, I miss her like crazy but I’m worried about how she’s going to be around Chelsea.  She’s made it clear she agrees with Jerald and Tim and in the past she’s always been very vocal in my relationships. Can I blame her? No, I mean I am her only kid so me  loving someone as much as her…I get how it can be hard to swallow.  But this is Chelsea.  I guess maybe it’s my fault, had I told her how I felt about her before, maybe she’d be more understanding now.  I just hope she keeps it too herself, if Chelsea thought she was ever a problem for the two of us….

 

“Alex?” Chelsea said and he looked up from his journal.

 

“Huh?” He replied confused.

 

“Dinner’s here.” She said with a light laugh, pointing to the door as she walked over towards it.

 

“Oh.” He nodded as he closed the book and off the bed.  He watched as the room servant brought in the cart with two silver platters sitting on top of it.  He moved the plates onto the table and then rolled the cart out of the room.  Aj walked over and tipped the man and then closed the door as the servant said thank you and left.

 

“So where did you go?” Chelsea asked as he turned around and walked over to the table.

 

“Go?” He asked as she set his plate of food down.  She nodded towards the bed and he looked seeing the journal sitting on top of the blankets.  “Oh, just thinking while I was writing.” He said with a light smile as he sat down.

 

“Do you write songs in it?” She asked as she sat down.

 

“No, just stuff that’s on my mind.” He replied with a shrug.  “Sometimes I write poems.”

 

“How long have you been writing in it?” She asked.

 

“Few years now on and off, that’s actually my third one.”

 

“Do you still have the others?” She asked before she took a bite of her chicken sandwich.

 

“Yeah at home.” He replied.  “We should get you one.” He said as the idea came to him.

 

“Yeah as if I wasn’t having a hard enough time convincing people I’m not 16 anymore.” She said rolling her eyes.

 

“Are you calling me a 16 year old girl?” Aj said jokingly too her.  She was about to reply when Aj’s cell phone went off.  Pulling his cell from his pocket he looked at the number and a smile etched across his face when he saw his Mom’s cell number.

 

“Hey Ma did you land?” He asked as Chelsea smiled returning her attention back to her sandwich.

 

“Yes, we did and we’re on our way up the elevator.” She replied.

 

“Oh you are?” He said as he looked up a little shocked.  “Ok well I’ll meet you outside the room.”

 

“Ok.” She said and then Aj said goodbye hanging up the phone.

 

“I take it they’re here.” Chelsea said as Aj put down his napkin and stood up from the table in a hurry.

 

“Yep.” He said as he walked quickly to the door and opened it.  “Said they were in the elevator.”  He replied as he looked out into the hallway.  Chelsea laughed at Aj’s excitement as she stood up and walked over to him. 

 

He waited for her to enter the hall and then he closed the door making sure he had his keycard in his pocket before he let it click closed.  Taking her hand in his they walked down the hall towards the elevator.  When they reached about half way the bell rung and they both looked at the doors at the end of the hall as they opened and Denise, Tony and Chris piled out of the lift.

 

“Mommy!” Aj said jokingly as he put his arms out and hugged his mom.  With a laugh she said hello and hugged him back.

 

“Hello Chelsea.” Denise said with a light smile.

 

“Hi.” Chelsea smiled back.

 

“How are you feeling today?” Aj’s Mom asked.

 

“Good.” Chelsea said with a nod.

 

“Oh noes the party crew arrived hid the booze!” Nick shouted as he walked down the hall.

 

“Carter.” Chris said with a nod.

 

“So let me show you to your guy’s room.” Aj said as he took his Mom’s bag and started walking down the hall.

 

“Someones excited.” Nick said as him and Chelsea followed behind everyone.

 

“Just a lil bit.” Chelsea said with a laugh.

 

“So.” Nick said as they stopped outside of Denise and Tony’s room.  “How much is Kevin paying you?”

 

“Huh?” Chelsea said confused.

 

“How much is Kevin paying you?” Nick asked again.

 

“He’s not.” Chelsea answered truthfully. 

 

“So you’re just calling my room at three in the morning for the hell of it?” Nick asked.

 

“No.” Chelsea said shaking her head.  “He’s buying my chicken wings when I get back.”

 

“Chicken wings? All it takes is chicken wings? Or we’re going to have fun.” Nick smiled.

 

“Whats this we? I’m on Kevin’s side.”

 

“Ah, but I can take you for Chicken wings now.” Nick said with a sly smile.  “There’s a place down the street great wings, if we go there I’ll buy you wings.”

 

“And..” Chelsea said waiting for the catch.

 

“And you stop calling me at three in the morning.” Nick said as she walked into the room.

 

“Deal.” Chelsea said with a nod as her and Nick stopped in the room.  Nick giggled as he rubbed his hands together proud that he had deflected her to his side, so he thought.

 

“Well I’ll let you guys get comfy and I’ll show Chris to his room.” Aj said to his Mom and Tony.  He gave them both quick hugs and then walked Chelsea, Nick, and Chris out of the room.

 

“Chicken wings, you..me..” Nick said pointing to Chelsea as he walked away.

 

“You’re walking a fine line my dear.” Aj said as he walked up to her. She laughed at him as he took his head and headed towards Chris’s room.  “Oh, can you do me a favour?” He asked her as he stopped dead in the hall and turned to her.

 

“What?” She asked a little confused.

 

“Grab that T shirt I got for Chris.” He said to her.

 

“Oh, ok.” She nodded and then headed towards their room.

 

“Aww thanks man.” Chris said with a smile.

 

“I just bought it so I would have something to distract her with.” Aj said as he rushed them into Chris’s room.  “Where is it?”

 

“Chill out, it’s in my bag.” Chris said as he walked into his hotel room.

 

“Well hurry before she gets back douche.” Aj said motioning for him to hurry.  Chris snickered and shook his head as he put his bag down on top of his bed.  He reached into it and moved his hand around searching for something. 

 

“Here” He said as he pulled his hand out of the bag.

 

Aj smiled when he saw the small square leather box in his friend’s hand.  He reached out and took it from him, quickly opening it up to reveal the silver ring inside of it.  Gently he took it between his fingers and pulled it from it’s resting place.

 

“Doesn’t look like much.” Chris commented as they both looked at it.  “Doesn’t really seem like something you would buy.”

 

“When you’re 16 with no money it is.” Aj said with a shrug as he looked on the inside of the band.

 

“Huh?” Chris said confused.

 

“It’s a replica of the one I got her when we were younger, but now instead of cheap silver it’s white gold.” Aj said as he turned the ring and read the inscription on the inside of the band.

 

“What does it say in there?” Chris asked.

 

“Just my name, I spent every last cent I had to get it engraved with my name, so that way I would be with her where ever she went, cause she said she always felt with me.” He said as he put the ring back into the box. 

 

“What do you think the Richardson’s will say?” Chris asked.

 

“Don’t see a reason why they should get upset, just replacing something she lost.” Aj shrugged as he tucked the box into his hoody pocket.

 

“You don’t think they might think it’s an engagement ring?” Chris asked.

 

“Pffft fuck that they better not, I hope they think I have more class to get her a better ring than this.” Aj scoffed.  Chris smiled a little and then lightly chuckled.

 

“Well man I need nap before the show, you’re leaving soon right?” Chris asked.

 

“Yeah, Chels and I are going down to the area for all the pre concert crap.” Aj sighed.

 

“Cool.” Chris nodded.

 

“Alright man, have a good one and see you at the show.” Aj said as he opened the hotel room door.

 

“Hey” Chelsea said as she almost slammed into him.

 

“Oh the shirt.” Aj said snapping his fingers.  Chelsea shot him a confused look as he took the shirt from her and went back into Chris’s room.  A minute later he came out and closed the door.

 

“Did he like it?” She asked.

 

“Like what?...oh the shirt, yeah he did.” Aj nodded quickly.

 

“You ok?” Chelsea said with a light laugh.

 

“Yeah, why?” He asked.

 

“You seem a little, I dunno preoccupied?” She said with a light shrug.

 

“Nope, I’m good.” Aj replied with a smile.  “Maybe going over things in my head, concert stuff.”

 

“Oh.” Chelsea said with a nod.  “I can’t believe how big you guys have gotten.” She said

 

“Should of seen it back in the late 90’s.” Aj said remembering. 

 

“I dunno if I wanna if it was crazier than this.” Chelsea said with a laugh.

 

“I’ll have to show you the video library.” Aj told her as he took her hand. “Anyways, let’s go finish eating and then head down to the venu.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 3

 

 

            “Thank you Liverpool, we love you and goodnight!” Aj said as he gave a wave to the screaming crowed and then blew them a kiss.  The guys slowly walked off the stage waving and saying their goodbyes.  Aj was the first one down the stairs and the first one into their change room.

 

“Someone’s in a rush.” Howie said as Aj disappeared into the showers.

 

“He has a date.” Brian said raising his eyebrows.

 

“Ooh.” Howie smiled.

 

“But it’s a surprise so when Chelsea gets here zip it.” Brian said as he moved his fingers across his lips in a zipping motion.

 

“Where are they going?” Nick asked as he grabbed a clean pair of clothes.

 

“Dunno.” Brian shrugged. “Alex just told me they were going out, it was a surprise, so don’t tell her and if Kevin called looking that’s what I was suppose to tell him.”

 

“Anyone else notice the change in him?” Howie asked.

 

“Huh?” Nick and Brian said looking at him confused.

 

“When was the last time he’s snapped at someone, I mean not Chelsea related?  When was the last time he walked around in a huff?” Howie said to them.

 

“Oh I noticed that.” Nick said as he headed to the showers.  “You’d have to be blind not to.”

 

“I thought that girl was going to pee her pants.” Chelsea said laughing as Leigh B, Leigh Anne and Chelsea walked into the room.

 

“Wait till you meet the ones that do.” Leigh B smiled.

 

“You boys aren’t ready yet? I’m tired.” Leigh Anne sighed as she sat down on the couch.

 

“I am.” Aj said as he walked out rubbing the towel around in his hair.

 

“You won’t do me any good.” She pouted.

 

“You could ride back with us?” Chelsea said.

 

“No” Aj said quickly before Leigh Anne could even answer.

 

“No?” Chelsea said looking at him confused.

 

“Yeah, cause uh, she’s tired and I’m starving.” Aj said.

 

“You’re always starving.” Chelsea laughed as she stood up.

 

They said goodbye to everyone and walked out of the dressing room.  Aj’s body guard was standing outside waiting and followed them as they walked down the hall to the car lot.  When Chelsea went to head towards the van Aj took her hand and nodded to their right.

 

“This way.” He said as he walked her over to a black limo.

 

“This is for us?” She asked confused.

 

“Yep.” Aj said as he opened the door for her.  “Thanks man.” He said as he looked at Q.

 

“Have fun.” Q nodded as Aj got in and he closed the door.

 

“What’s going on?” Chelsea asked as the limo backed up.

 

“We’re going to go eat.” He said as he sat back.

 

“What are you up too?” She asked as she turned on the seat facing him.

 

“Nothing.” He replied as he looked at her. 

 

“You suck at lying.” Chelsea frowned at him.

 

“Yeah” He nodded.  She smiled at him and then started laughing.  “How ya feeling?” He asked as he took a piece of her hair in his fingers and started to play with it.

 

“Good” She said. 

 

“Have you felt sick at all?” He asked as she slid over and laid back against him.

 

“A little this afternoon but I lied down like the doctors said and I’ve felt fine ever since.” Chelsea said as he lightly kissed her on the head.

 

“That’s good.” Aj nodded.  “Are you having fun?”

 

“Yeah” She replied with a smile.  “Wish I could have seen it when Kevin was around.”

 

“You didn’t miss anything special.” Aj said as she looked up at him and started laughing.

 

The two sat in the back of the limo, Aj holding her as they drove through the old English city.  When he felt the limo start to slow he looked out the tinted window.  On his right were old buildings tightly sitting side by side, on his left was a park, and he smiled as he slowly sat up.

 

“Are we here?” Chelsea asked when the limo stopped.

 

“Yep.” Aj said as the driver got out of the car and walked over to Chelsea’s door.  When he opened it she climbed out and waited for Aj to come out too. 

 

“Where’s the restaurant?” She asked as he stood up and thanked the driver.

 

“Who said we were going to a restaurant?” Aj said as he put his bag over his shoulder and took her hand.

 

“I’m confused.” She said looking at him as they started walking towards the Park.

 

“Good.” He smiled at her.

 

“You are up to something.” She said as she raised an eyebrow at him.  He didn’t say anything and kept looking forward.  They walked along the stone pebble path that was lit up by the street lamps. 

 

“This place reminds me of the Park from Mary Poppins.” Aj said looking around.

 

“It does doesn’t it.” She agreed. 

 

“Hey look.” Aj said pointing over a play area.

 

“What?” She asked looking to where he was pointing.  He walked her over to the play structure and held out a swing for her.  “Really?”

 

“Sit” Aj said rolling his eyes as she walked up to him.

 

“Ok” She said giggling as she turned around and sat down.  Aj sat in the swing next too her but sat on his swing so he was facing her.

 

“Remember the last time we were in a Park together?” Aj asked as he lightly swung back and forth, not far just the length of his legs.

 

            “I do” She smiled.  “You were so nervous.” She lightly laughed.

 

“I was a dork.” He laughed.

 

“You were not.” She said looking at him as he rocked in his swing.  “You were just nervous.” He lightly smiled as he looked down at the hole that had been dug out from all the kids swinging and dragging their feet. “You’re kind, generous, caring, smart, and so talented.  You’ve done things people never do, only in dreams, even those stupid kids from High School but you still believe them?” She asked and he stopped rocking and looked at her. 

 

“I did until I met you.” He said.  “But then you were gone and it got harder to believe, a lot of things got harder.”

 

“I’m sorry.” She as she took his hand.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Aj told her.

 

            “It just seemed like you went through a lot of stuff alone.” She said.  “What about your Mom?”

 

“Ma?” Aj said beginning to not like where this was going.  “Well she um, she… you know was taking care of my grandparents and she spent a lot of time helping us with the group when we fired Johnny and Donna and… can we not, I mean it’s a really long story and maybe another time ok?”

 

“Ok” Chelsea said but she was a little confused on his answer.

 

“Can I ask you something, like about what happened when you were with your dad?” He asked knowing she might not want to talk about it today.

 

“I guess.” She said not wanting to talk about that time but it was Aj.

 

“What happened to your ring?” He asked her. She looked down at her middle finger and lightly smiled at it, then her face when blank.

 

“I lost it.” She said as she looked at him with a frown.

 

“Lost it?” He said confused.

 

“When I woke up from when he took me from Kentucky, I still had it on; I didn’t want him taking it from me so I took it off.  I would hide it in my pillow case, in my clothes, most of the time I just held onto it.” She told him.  “Then one morning I woke up and it was gone, I don’t know if I dropped it in my sleep or if he came in and finally saw it.  I looked all over but I couldn’t’ find it and it’s not like it could have gone far.”

 

“I don’t know what I would of done if I didn’t have the ring in the beginning.” She told him.  “I was scared and alone, I would just lie there on the mattress staring at your name on the inside.” She said as a tear dripped down her cheek.  He scooted his swing beside her and slipped his arms behind her as he pulled her into a hug.

 

“Do you remember what I told you that night in the park?” He asked.

 

“When you gave me the ring?” She asked slowly pulling away and he nodded.  “You told me that no matter what you’d always be there, you’d always love me, and that the ring was a symbol of that.” He smiled that she had remembered what he had said word for word, at least he thinks so, he couldn’t even remember.  He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small leather box and held it in front of her.

 

“Take it.” He said with a soft smile as she looked at him confused.  With hesitation she took the box from his hand and the lifted the top, opening it.  She lightly gasp when she saw the small silver ring sitting on a velvet pillow. 

 

“Alex is this?” She said a little shocked.

 

“It’s your ring.” He said.  “Well not the old one it’s a new one to replace the old one.” He said as she took the ring out of the box.  “See.” He said as he pointed to the inside. “My name right there.” He then picked up the ring in his fingers and took her hand in his other hand.  “And it means exactly the same thing.” He told her and then he slipped the ring on her middle finger.  “That’s better.” He lightly smiled.  Chelsea smiled back at him as he wiped the tear from her cheek and rested his hand on the back of her neck.

 

“It looks just like it.” Chelsea said as she looked down at her finger.

 

“Looks better cause it’s not silver, it’s white gold now.” He told her.

 

“So is this why we came out here?” She asked with a light smile.

 

“Yeah” He admitted with a nod.  “Also just to get away, so many people around and even now I’m still use to it being just me and you.”

 

Chelsea smiled at him knowing what he meant, the secret they kept all those years ago.  She was glad to be here with him with all of them, to be out doing stuff, but she still had problems handling the crowds of people. Not just the fans, the crew, the staff, and the security.  The only place you could really be alone was in your hotel room and even then someone always ended up knocking, wanting something. 

 

Chelsea stood up from her swing and Aj looked at her confused.  She carefully sat down across his lap and laid her head on his shoulder, resting her forehead gently against his neck.  Chelsea wrapped her arms around his waist as he leaned back a little and started to rock the swing again.

 

“Can we stay here for a little bit?” She asked as they slowly rocked back and forth.

 

“As long as you want too.” He said as he lightly kissed her on the forehead.

 

                                            Chapter 4

 

 

            Chelsea rolled over and her eyes fluttered open.  A smile broke across her face when she saw him sleeping beside her. So many mornings so many times she woke up and he wasn’t there, now he was.  Lifting her head a little she looked past him and read the time on the alarm clock.  There was still a half hour until their wake up call.  She laid her head back down on her pillow.  Her fingers crept along the sheet up to his face and she gently let her fingers trickle down his beard.  It was strange for her to see him with facial hair.  He had changed so much not just on the inside but on the outside.  His face had gotten older, no longer looking like a shy boy but a strong man.  She let her fingers drift down his jaw bone to his chin and as her fingers touched his neck she saw the skully rose tattoo on his neck. 

 

He mumbled and moved his head a little but didn’t wake up.  Looking up she looked at his eyes, the only thing on him that hadn’t changed.  Carefully not wanting to move the mattress to much she scooted closer to him, the tips of her lips and nose a feather width away from his.  Tenderly she pressed her lips to his and he mumbled again, when he did she trapped his bottom lip between hers and kissed him again.  Then she pulled away and opened her eyes to see him looking back at her.

 

“Now that’s a wake up call.” He mumbled sheepishly and she softly laughed. “What time is it?” He asked rolling over and looking at the clock.  “How long have you been up?” He asked as he looked back at her.

 

“Not long.” She replied her eyes still locked on his.

 

“Chels?” He said noticing the look in her eyes.

 

“Alex.” She replied with a small crooked smile as she kissed him again.

 

A knock at the hotel room door broke the two apart and Aj looked at her a little confused, well he wasn’t really confused, he knew what was going on. She hadn’t kissed him like that in a long time. 

 

“I’ll get it.” She said and he thought he saw her pout behind her smile. 

 

Pulling the blankets off herself she climbed out of bed in her tank top and shorts.  He sat up still a little puzzled when he heard the sliding lock and the door open.

 

“Did I wake you?” He heard a voice say and he got up, slipping on his jeans he wore the day before over his boxers.

 

“Nope come on in.” Chelsea said as he threaded his belt under the loops and peeked around the corner.

 

“Hey Ma.” Aj said with a light smile.

 

“Hi.” She said as she walked in.  Aj noticed she looked around the room and stared at the single bed.

 

“Anything you need?” Aj asked getting her attention as Chelsea walked by him.  Just as his Mom was about to answer he saw Chelsea heading to the door.

 

“Where you going darlin’?” He asked.

 

“Ice.” She said holding up the bucket.  “For the Orange Juice.”  He smiled as she opened the door and left the room.

 

“What’s this?” She asked as he looked back at her.

 

“A bed?” He said confused on her question.

 

“One bed?” She asked.

 

“Don’t start.” He said quickly.

 

“And Chris tells me you got her a ring?” Denise asked.

 

“A white gold band, to replace the one I got her when we were younger, that’s all, why do people think I’m gonna pop an engagement ring on her finger.” He said hoping this wouldn’t lead into the same old argument, not now, not with Chelsea.

 

“You got her a ring at sixteen!” Denise said upset.

 

“Mom, I said don’t start, don’t do this not with her.” Aj said as he walked over to his bag grabbing a shirt.

 

“So you’re going to tell me she’s different, she’s special?”

 

“She is.” Aj said as he looked back at her.

 

“They all were Alex.” Denise sighed. 

 

“And here we go.” Aj sighed as he spun around.

 

“You fall head over heals cause it’s new and exciting, you rush into it and you get hurt.” She said to him.

 

“I get hurt cause people can’t mind their damn business.” Aj told her.

 

“Are you talking about me?”

 

“You, the guys, the fans.” Aj said almost shouting.  Just then Aj’s door flew open.

 

“It’s Chelsea.” Chris said quickly and Aj dashed past his Mom.

 

“What’s going on?” Denise said confused but Aj didn’t answer her hearing Chelsea crying as he entered the hall.  He ran down the hallway towards the ice room.  His heart was racing and it wasn’t because he was running as he got closer he could hear crying and it sounded like she was in pain.  When he got to the room he saw Nick on his knees on the floor, he was holding Chelsea in his arms as she cried, covering her eyes.

 

“Chelsea?” Aj said as he took her from Nick.

 

“Her nurse is coming.” Nick told him.

 

“Too Bright.” She whispered as she pulled her face against his chest.  Aj scooped her up and carried her out of the Ice room.

 

“Tell Julia to come to our room.” Aj said to Nick.  He walked quickly down the hall holding her close to him.  Aj was relieved to see his door was still open and he walked them right into his room and laid her down on the bed.  She quickly covered her eyes but he was already on top of it turning off the lamps and the room light, he then walked over and made sure the curtains were closed tight, and then carefully closed the door, not completely just enough to keep out the hallway light.

 

“Better?” He whispered as he knelt down beside her.  She slowly nodded as he pulled her hair away from her sweaty face.  “Another Migraine?” He said keeping his voice low.  Her head slowly nodded as she reached out for his hand.  He wanted to tell her it was ok, that it would pass but he didn’t want to talk and make it worse for her.  He knew what it was like his drinking and drugs brought on a migraine here and there but never this quick.  Her doctors weren’t sure how long they would last or even why they were so sudden but they were improving with the medication she was, so that was hopeful.

 

“Julia’s here.” Aj told her as he stood up and stepped aside when the nurse walked in.  He walked around to the other side of the bed and took her hand again as Chelsea’s nurse started taking her blood pressure, and began a full check up.

 

“Break this and put it on her forehead, it’ll keep her head cool.” Julia said as she handed him an Ice pack.  He snapped the bag in half and instantly felt it getting colder.  Her eyes fluttered as he gently placed the pack of ice on her head.  With his right hand he held the pack gently against her and held her hand with his other hand. 

 

“Chelsea I need to check your eyes.” Julia told her as she grabbed her medical bag.

 

As Chelsea’s nurse pulled out the small pin light Aj felt her grip tighten around his hand.  He pressed the back of her hand to his lips as the light flashed over her eyes.  She flinched a little but it was over quick. As Julia asked Chelsea to answer some questions, Aj called down and canceled the wake up call.

 

“Does she need to go to the hospital?” Aj asked.

 

“No not right now, it was sudden which triggered her panic attack, mind and body receiving so much at once.” She told him.  “She stays in bed as much as possible today, no concert.  I’ll come back in 15 mins and check up.” She explained as she stood up.

 

“Ok, thanks Julia.” Aj said as he walked with the woman to the bedroom door.

 

“She’ll be ok.” She smiled at him and then headed back to her room.

 

“How is she?” Brian asked as him, Nick and Chris walked up to him.

 

“Julia says she’ll be fine, it was a migraine but it came on so quick it threw her into one of her panic attacks.” Aj told them.

 

“Want me to call Kevin?” Brian asked.

 

“Naw, I’m sure he’ll call later, she’s not going to the hospital Julia didn’t seem too worried.” Aj said as he looked back at the doorway.  “Where did Mom go?” He asked looking around.

 

“She went to her room I think.” Nick said with a shrug.

 

“Well I need to get back in there, don’t want to leave her alone for too long.” Aj said as he nodded to his room.  “Thanks man.”

 

“No problem, just glad she’s ok.” Nick said as he headed to his room.

 

Aj walked into the room and closed the door carefully.  He walked over to the bed and leaned against the wall, resting his head on the corner.  She was laying on her side now, the ice pack sitting on the nightstand.  He watched her for a little bit and he started to remember what happened before his Mom knocked on the door.  How he was woken up, the way she looked at him before they kissed, and the way they kissed. 

 

Pushing himself off of the wall he walked over to the side of the bed and carefully pulled the blankets out from under her.  Chelsea slowly rolled over as he slipped in under the covers.  She cuddled herself into him as he pulled the blankets over them.  He reached over her and grabbed the ice pack, placing it back on her head. 

 

“Need to keep this on until Julia get’s back.” Aj whispered.

 

“It’s c-cold.” She forced out in a low mumble. Aj hated when she got like this after her migraines.  Her doctor said the best way to describe it would be like her brain was on over load and speaking was the last thing it was trying to do.  It was like this ever since the surgery, ever since she was almost crushed under the bookshelf. “W-want M-midrin.” She mumbled asking for her medication.

 

“Not yet darlin’ gotta wait to make sure your blood pressure goes down.” He said as he moved the pack to the back of her neck.  “That better?” He asked and she slowly nodded.

 

He laid there with her until Julia came back.  The Nurse gave her another check up and checked her eyes again, she still needed Aj too hold her hand.  He noticed then she was shivering.

 

“Can I have my Midrin now?” She asked

 

“Yes” Julia said.  Aj walked over to her bag and went into the side pocket; it was the only pocket he ever went into.  He pulled out a bottle of red cap pills and brought them over too her.

 

“I’ll grab you some water.” He said as he handed her the bottle.  As he walked to the bathroom someone knocked on his door and he changed directions.  When he opened the door he saw his Mom there.

 

“Is everything alright now?” She asked.

 

“Sort of” He said as he opened the door for her to walk in.  He walked into the bathroom as she closed the door.  He grabbed a glass and ran the water for a second, and then filled the cup.  Passing his Mom as he walked out of the bathroom, he walked over to Chelsea, and gave her the glass of water.

 

“Are you ok for a second? I wanna go to go talk to Mom.” He said as he sat down on the bed.

 

“Yeah.” She said as she lightly nodded.  He smiled at her and gently kissed her on the top of the head as he stood up.  Walking over to his Mom he motioned for her to come outside the room with him and she followed.

 

“So what’s up?” He asked as he closed the door behind them, making sure not to bang it.

 

“Should she be here?” She asked concerned.

 

“Her doctors say its fine, she’d have these whether or not she was here, and there more concern with her mental state and social state.” He told her.

 

“She’s not your responsibility.” Denise told him.

 

“We’ve been through this. I asked you not to start.” Aj said to her.  “What’s so wrong about wanting to help someone I care about?”

 

“Care about; she’s sleeping in your bed.” Denise said both keeping their voices low. 

 

“I’m not getting into this with you.” Aj said as he turned around.

 

“Alex listen to me.” His Mom said stopping him.  “You can’t open yourself up so much, she’s still getting use to a life again, who knows what’s going to happen, who she’s going to be in a year.”

 

“She’ll be Chelsea, she wasn’t dead Ma, she didn’t just sleep for 13 years, yeah ok she has a lot to get over, and it’s something that can’t be done alone, her doctors told me so.” Aj said to her standing firm.  “I’m not pushing her into anything she doesn’t want to do, she needs me, and you know what I need her.”

 

“Oh Alex.” Denise sighed.

 

“Yeah, thanks for the support Ma.” Aj said as he turned around and went back into the room.

 

“When do we leave?” Julia asked.

 

“What?” Aj said still a little heated from the conversation with his Mom.

 

“When do we leave? Chelsea should sleep as much as she can right now.”

 

“Oh, right.” Aj said calming down, he then walked out of the small hallway and looked at the clock.  “In an hour, hour and a half.” Aj said as he looked at Chelsea under the covers.

 

“Alright, let her sleep till then, wake her about 15 minutes before you go, so she has time to wake up.” Julia told him.

 

“Ok.” Aj nodded.  He walked the Nurse out of the room and then closed the door gently.

 

He then walked back into the room and slowly crawled on the bed.  He didn’t get under the covers as he laid down beside her and pulled her back against him. Brushing her hair away he leaned in and gently kissed the back of her neck.

 

“Do you want to go home?” Aj asked.

 

“No” Chelsea said as she tangled her fingers with his, her eyes remaining close.

 

“Just checking.” He said as he laid his head back down and held her until she fell sleep.

 

 

 

                                            Chapter 5

 

 

            Aj stood at the window looking down the street, no sign of his Mom and grandparents.  They weren’t suppose to be home for another hour but who knows if they will come home early and he was there with Chelsea.  Kevin wanted to go out with Kristin but he didn’t want to leave Chelsea at home so he called asking if she could hang out with him.  Of course he said yes, and his Mom said ok too because she had plans to go out with her parents.

 

            “I’m glad they went out.” Chelsea said as she wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.  “I missed you.”  He turned around in her arms and his eyes locked on hers. He could hear the faint sound of music playing.

 

“I missed you too.” Aj told her and he leaned in and kissed her. 

 

“So what did you wanna do?” She asked as they pulled away.  He smiled at her and she rolled her eyes at him.  “We already did that.”

 

“So” He said as he leaned down and gently kissed her neck. Chelsea lightly laughed as she ran her fingers through his hair, her nails drifted down the back of his neck. 

 

“Oh” She said as he pulled her up and he looked at her confused. “I love this song, dance with me?” she asked.  Aj tried to listen to the song as she laid her head on his shoulder and rested her hands on his back but he couldn’t make out the words, it was muffled.

 

“Hey!” Someone shouted and he looked around.

 

“Hey man wake up!” Brian said shaking him.

 

“Huh?” Aj said opening left eye and looking around tiredly.

 

“We’re back at the hotel.” Brian told him laughing.

 

“Fuck did I pass out?” Aj asked as he sat up.

 

“As soon as we left the arena.” Nick said as he shoved his butt in Aj’s face, getting up to climb out of the van.

 

“Get that fucking toxic thing away from me.” Aj mumbled as he pushed Nick’s ass away from him.  He heard a bang and then Nick shout out in pain.  “Serves you right ya douche, that’s what you get.” Aj spoke before Nick could turn around and say anything.

 

“What did you hit it on?” Howie asked rolling his eyes.

 

“Door frame.” Nick moaned holding the top of his head.  Howie patted him on the back as they walked towards the parking garage elevators.

 

“Tired or something?” Brian asked as Aj pulled his bag over his shoulder and Marcus closed the Van door.

 

“Drained, been a long day.” Aj sighed.

 

“She was looking better when we left.” Brian said as the two walked onto the elevator.  They squished together to make room for the body guards and then waited for the doors to close.

 

“Migraines I can deal with but these, they come on like that.” He said snapping his fingers. 

 

“They hit her hard, she dropped this morning.” Nick said making a dropping motion with his hand.  “I almost broke my neck on all the ice on the floor.”

 

“What did Kevin say?” Howie asked him.

 

“He’s worried.” Brian said.

 

“Yeah I figured he was.” Aj said.

 

“Did he tell you?” Brian asked.

 

“No, but I could tell, I’m trying not to worry cause I mean the last one before this was what, two days ago, so who knows when the next one will hit.”  Aj said with a shrug.  A ding came over the speakers and the doors opened.  Aj felt himself relax when he saw the hotel hallway.

 

            “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Aj said as they walked up to his door.  They all said goodbye to him and he waved as he pulled his room key from his pocket.  Turning the knob he opened the door and went to walk in.

 

“Alex?” He heard his Mom say behind him and he turned around.  “Wonderful show tonight.” She smiled.

 

“Thanks.” He said.  “Did you have a good time?”

 

“Yes I did.  Are you going to bed?” She asked.

 

“Yeah I’m beat Ma, been a long day.” He told her.  “We’ll have breakfast tomorrow before we leave for Scotland.”

 

“Sounds good.” She smiled.  “Will Chelsea be there?” She asked and he closed the door over.

 

“Yes.” He said looking at her annoyed.

 

“I’m just asking because of what happened this morning.” She said looking at him.

 

“Yes she will be there.” Aj said.  “Now I’m going to bed, goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight.” Denise said and then Aj walked into his room and closed the door.  He put his hand flat against the door and laid his forehead on it.  Locking the door he started to lightly bump head, slowly sighing.

 

“Hello?” He heard Chelsea say and he stood up straighter.  Walking out of the small hallway he smiled when he saw her sitting up, the lamp on beside her.

 

“How you doing?” He asked as he set down his bag.

 

“Fuzzy but better.” She said as he crawled onto the bed and then collapsed beside her.  “Someone’s tired.” She lightly laughed

 

“Very” He mumbled into the pillow.

 

“How did the show go?” She asked.

 

“Good.” He replied as he slowly rolled over and yawned.  “So what were you doing just sitting here?”

 

“Yeah” She said as he sat up sluggishly.

 

“Really?” He said as he turned and looked at her.

 

“Leigh-Anne kept checking on me like every half hour; I think she finally passed out.” She told him with a light smile.  “I was just enjoying the quiet time.”

 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” He asked as he walked over to his luggage bag.

 

“Yes, I’m fine really.” She told him as he took off his shirt and dropped it on the floor.  Unbuckling his pants he let them drop to the carpet and then walked back over to the bed. 

 

“You know I had a dream about us?” Aj said as she lifted the blankets for him.

 

“You did, when?” She asked wondering when he slept.

 

“Passed out in the van on the way here.” He said as he laid his head on the pillow.  She lightly laughed as he took her hand in his and laid them between each other.

 

“What was it about?” She asked.

 

“You were at my house, Mom was out; I think it was that time before I went to Sweden.” Aj said with another yawn.  “We started dancing to something, I couldn’t make out the song that was playing.  Anyways Brian woke me up before anything good happened.” He said with a joking smile.

 

“Always.” She said and he looked at her confused.

 

“Huh?” He said.

 

“The song that was playing, it was Always.” She told him.  “By Bon Jovi.”

 

“You remember that?” Aj asked.

 

“Yep.” She said as she looked down at their hands.  “It was one of the last times I saw you, you guys were back a forth from the US to Sweden recording and everything.”

 

“Wow I didn’t realize.” He said as her finger drifted over the tattoo on his middle finger.  An idea popped into his head as he watched her and he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her fingers.  He then pulled the covers off him and walked over to his bag.

 

“What at are you doing?” Chelsea asked him confused.

 

“One sec.” He said reaching into his bag and pulling out his phone.  He flipped through the web pages until he found the one he was looking for; he pressed a couple of buttons and waited.  “Ok” He said as he walked over to her and reached for her hand.

 

“Ok what?” She asked confused.

 

“Come here.” He said with a light giggle as he waved his hand.  She got up out of the bed and took his hand and he walked them over to the open area of the hotel room.  He pressed a button and then set the phone down on the table.  Chelsea was about to ask what was going on again when the music started playing.

 

“Dance with me?” He asked as she looked at him.  As Bon Jovi’s Always played over his phone she didn’t say anything when she stepped into his arms and they started to slowly sway in one spot.  Aj closed his eyes as he felt her hands slid up his back, stopping at almost the same spot they were at in the dream.  Her head laid on his shoulder and they both were swept up in the moment.  The words of the people who thought they shouldn’t be together, the worries and second guesses on if this was the right thing too do, all went away as they danced in that spot. He heard nothing but music and felt nothing but her against his skin. Aj opened his eyes and lifted his head a little as he felt her pull away.

 

It was then he realized the song had stopped playing.  His eyes locked onto hers and he found himself getting lost in them, how blue they were how loving they were.  When her lips pressed against his he slowly reached up, letting his fingers gently step up her neck.  They tangled in her hair and he wrapped his other hand around her waist.

 

It had been a long time the both of them stood in a room like that; it had been a long time since they had both felt the way they did however there was something that was there before that wasn’t there now.  A little bit of fear, the fear of someone walking in on them, someone catching them kissing, someone catching them making love but now, now even that fear was gone.  Their lips pulled apart and they rested their foreheads against each other. 

 

Aj opened his eyes and looked into hers, the longer he stared the more he wanted her, and the more he needed her.  Nothing blocking his mind, nothing telling him this was wrong, except maybe her, maybe she wasn’t ready, maybe she didn’t want this to happen yet. 

 

“Chels…” He started too speak as her arms slid up his back, over his shoulders and down his arms.

 

“Come to bed.” She said as her hands slid over his and she walked them back.  This time he kissed her as he gently laid her down. He lifted the blankets over them as he pulled her into his arms. 

 

Their door never opened, no one ever came in, and there was no need to whisper so no one would hear.  They may have been sixteen when they were first together but with everything they had both been through apart from each other, that night to them it felt like two long lost soul mates finally returning to each other.

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 6

 

 

            Aj stood against the dresser staring at the hotel room bed.  The fresh memories of the night before danced in his head and he was so lost in them, he didn’t even notice the light smile on his face.  He looked down at the phone in his hand and laughed to himself, one little song did so much.  Slipping it into his pocket he reached down and lifted his bag over his shoulder.  Taking one last look around the room he made sure he had gathered all of his and Chelsea’s belongings and then closed the door.

 

            He walked over to their tour manager and handed them his key. Aj then looked around the hallway wondering where Chelsea had gone too.  A smile crept across his face when he saw her; she was talking to Brian as Nick chased Baylee around the hall.

 

            “Why did he even say anything to them?” Chelsea said as he walked up to her.

 

“Well cause Chels they need to know, they want to know, they care about you.” Brian told her.

 

“If they care about me then they’ll just leave me alone.” She sighed.

 

“What’s goin on?” Aj asked.

 

“Just Jerald being Jerald.” Chelsea said rolling her eyes.

 

“Kevin told them about yesterday.” Aj said looking at Brian.

 

“I guess.” Brian shrugged.

 

“They called me on my cell.” Chelsea said.  “Probably didn’t want to talk to you, so they didn’t call right to the hotel.”

 

“And like usual they want you to go home.” Aj said.

 

“Yeah” Chelsea said as she lightly raised her eyebrows.  “Whatever, I’m so over those two.” She said as she fixed her bag and headed towards the elevator. 

 

“What’s that about?” Brian asked as they watched her plop down on the sitting chair by the elevators.

 

“I’m not sure.” Aj said as he headed over to her.  “Hey” He softly as he knelt down in front of her.  “Are you…”

 

“I’m fine.” She said as she looked at him.  “No matter what I say or do, or what you say or do will ever shut them up, so I’m just going to stop trying.” She told him.  Aj was about to say something when his Mom walked up beside them.

 

“Ready?” She asked.

 

“Uh, can I get just a second.” He said holding up his finger.  “I’m talking to Chels.”

 

“Its fine Alex, I’m ready.” Chelsea said standing up.  Aj decided to drop it in front of his Mom.

 

“Alright, then we’re ready.” He said as he looked at Denise.  She smiled and walked over to her husband just as Chris walked up to him.

 

“I’m starving.” Chris sighed.

 

“Me too.” Aj said as the elevator dinged.

 

“Now I know why you guys are such good friends.” Chelsea sighed.  The two laughed as they walked onto the lift Aj’s Mom and his step Dad following behind them.

 

As they rode down to the bottom of floor, Aj looked beside him.  Chelsea was leaning against the elevator wall, staring at the floor.  The lift lightly bounced when they hit the bottom floor and the doors opened.  They walked through the underground parking lot and met up with Marcus who was waiting for them at the van with the other body guards.

 

Everyone climbed into the van and Aj let Chelsea get in before him.  She scooted across the bench seat to the window and sat down as she took Aj’s backpack. When he sat down she handed back to him at he put it down between his feet.

 

“Who’s that?” Chris asked as a cell phone ring went off.

 

“Me.” Chelsea said as he reached into her bag pocket and pulled it out.  “Kevin” She said as she looked at Aj and answered it.

 

“Hello?” She said into the phone and Aj looked out the window as they pulled onto the street.  “I talked to Jerald this morning why?” She asked.

 

“Where’s her nurse?” Denise whispered as she leaned forward.

 

“She’s leaving with the others; she needs to get some things before she goes to the airport.” Aj whispered back to her and even shot her a look.

 

“They what?” Chelsea said and the tone made Aj looked at her.  “Why I’m ok?” She said she then looked at Aj and he saw tears in her eyes and his face fell in confusion.  “Well they can go there and talk to me all they want; I’m not going back to Kentucky.” She said angrily and then she slammed her cell shut.

 

“What’s going on?” Aj asked as he took her shaking hand.

 

“Jerald and Tim are on their way to Scotland, they want to talk to me and get me to go back.” She said not looking at him; she then looked away and looked out her window.

 

            Chelsea sat quiet the whole way to the restaurant and even while they were in the restaurant.  Aj wasn’t going to say anything in front of his family; he didn’t want to upset her in front of them.  He was glad to see that even though she was quiet she ate her food.  She didn’t eat much yesterday because of the migraine.

 

They all loaded back into the van when they were done, all returning to the spots they were in before.  Aj found himself sitting there wanting it to be last night, when it was just the two of them.  He lifted his arm and carefully wrapped it over her shoulder, pulling her against him.

 

“Will you talk on the plane?” He whispered into her ear and she nodded. “Ok.” He said as he kissed her temple.  She laid her head on his shoulder and rested her hand on his stomach. 

 

Aj and Chelsea sat in the Van as everyone else around them chatted it up about what they would do in Scotland on the guys days off.  It was about an hour to the airport and when they got there, Brian, and the others were already in the building.

 

“What’s up with her?” Brian asked quietly as Chelsea talked to Leigh-Anne.

 

“We have company coming when in Scotland.” Aj told him.

 

“Jerald?” Brian asked.

 

“And Tim.” Aj sighed.

 

“Maybe it’s for the best.” Brian said and Aj stared at him.

 

“Don’t say that to me right now.” Aj told him as he turned and handed the woman his ticket.  When they were all through check in they were ushered in to a waiting area.  Fans stopping and said hi, talked for a little bit, and Chelsea stayed in the background, hanging around Marcus most of the time. 

 

“Do you want the window seat?” He asked as they walked down the loading tunnel.

 

“If you don’t mind.” She said as they stopped at the doors and waited for Nick to go through.  He smiled at her as he took her bag and they walked onto the plane.  They walked down to their seats and Aj put their bags in the over hang as Chelsea sat down in her seat.

 

“So talk to me.” Aj said as he took her hand.

 

“About how they’re going to show up tell me that I shouldn’t be with you, how they want me to go home, and find myself.” She said and he lightly raised his eyebrows when he heard her sarcasm.  “I don’t need to find myself I had 13 years to sit in a room and think about me.”

 

“Frustrating when people think they know what’s best, but they care about you Chels they’re worried, you were dead, and I know you know you weren’t but to me or them you were.” Aj told her.  “The last thing they want is for something to happen to you and lose you all over again, they almost did, I almost did.”

 

“So what do I do when they get there, I don’t want to fight with them but I don’t want to hear the same thing over and over.” She said as she laid her head back.

 

“Just tell them what you always do and then let them go home.” He said as he twirled her ring around her finger.  “And let them say what ever they want about me, like you said, they just don’t get it.”  She lightly smiled at him and he kissed her on the cheek.  Chelsea turned her attention back out the window as the stewardess started talking over the pa.

 

“Are you going to take a nap?” He asked as he sat back in his chair.

 

“Maybe.” She replied as she rolled her head and looked at him.

 

“We can take one together.” He said as he slid his head closer to her.  “There’s no one behind us we’ll just lay back, close our eyes and sleep till we get there.”

 

“When this leg is done can I go to California with you?” She asked.

 

“You want to go to come home with me?” He replied a little stunned.

 

“Yeah, just you no one else.” She said.  “I want us to have time, I want to see where you live now, what your place looks like, I want to get to know all of you again and I can’t do that with people always around.” He lightly smiled at her as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. Then he leaned in and kissed her.

 

“We’ll see ok, you have some tests coming up and Kentucky is a much better place to chill out than Cali.” Aj said and she was about to protest but he stopped her.  “I’m not saying I won’t be there, I’m just saying it really is a better place for you right now, especially after coming off of a tour. Ok?”

 

“Ok” She replied and he leaned in and kissed her again.

 

“Hey, since we’re up in the air, wanna take that nap now?” He asked.

 

“Sure.” She nodded as he stood up to grab some pillows and blankets from the overhead.  He gave one to her and then tucked one behind his head as she took a blanket from him. 

 

Lying there he watched her for a little bit, holding her hand and thinking about what she had said.  It wasn’t long before she was asleep and he wasn’t really tired as more he was hoping she would nap.  Carefully he put her hand down and sat his chair up. Leaning forwards he reached into his bag and pulled out his journal.  He pulled the pen from its slot and opened the book to a new page.

 

May 9th 2008.

 

            My life has never been clearer, that’s saying a lot.  But like usual there are people in my way.  People moaning and bitching over shit they know nothing about. Last night I found what I lost, last night I was with someone who wanted me as much as I wanted her.  She didn’t want my paycheck, she didn’t want my fame, she just wanted me. She made me feel like it was just us in the world with her I don’t feel alone anymore. And here I sit here terrified, I’m terrified that I’m going to lose it all again.  I almost did once, and some times because of that I wonder will I lose her again? So I don’t need these outsiders, these people who know nothing, or think they know shit about my life doing something to jeopardize this.  I don’t really know what the fuck they expect outta her, they want her to just sit at home and go stir crazy.  What the fuck don’t they get about her being locked in a room for 13 fucking damn years? I’m scared, I’m really scared I’m going to lose her, and for the first time in I don’t know how fucking long, it’s not me I’m afraid of fucking shit up.  Bullshit.  All of it.

 

            Aj closed the book and slipped the pen back in its spot.  He stared at it for a moment and then put it back in his bag.  Closing the flap over, he reached behind him and grabbed his pillow, and tucked it behind his head.  Pushing back he lowered the back of his seat and closed his eyes.  He rolled his head to the right and opened them again.  His eyes didn’t break from her even as they fought to stay open.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 7

 

 

            “He won’t kick your ass but I will.” He heard someone say.

 

            “Chels shhh he does it to us all the time.” Brian said and it came from above him.

 

“Hurry up and put it in his mouth before he wakes up.” Nick said and he heard him smack someone.

 

“To late douches.” Aj mumbled.

 

“Damn it Howie I told you to hurry up.” Nick said as he turned around and plopped down in his chair.  Then Aj saw a cookie go flying over him and smacked Nick in the back of the head.

 

“Nice shot D.” Aj said as he started laughing with Brian and Chelsea.

 

“Next time do it yourself.” Howie said from behind him.

 

“Where are we?” Aj asked as he looked at Chelsea.

 

“Over Scotland, they said we’re landing in about 15 minutes.” She told him.  “I was going to wake you but then the Stooges here got their own idea.”

 

“Nyuk Nyuk.” Brian said as he did the Curley finger wave over top of them.  Chelsea and Aj lightly chuckled as the stewardess came over the pa announcing they were starting to decline and land.

 

“Did Kevin say what time they were getting in?” He asked.

 

“Not till tonight.” She replied.  “When’s the golfing trip?”

 

“Tomorrow.” Aj said as he checked his watch.  “We’re doing the tourist thing today.” He smiled at her.  “Once we get to the hotel, chill out for a little bit, then we’ll head out.”

 

“Who’s all going?” She asked.

 

“Ma, Tony, Chris, maybe others don’t know.” He replied with a light shrug.

 

“Cool” She nodded.

 

“Unless you want to stay in because of the Kevin’s brothers, I’m ok with that.” He said as he took her hand.

 

“No, your Mom is looking forward to it and…”

 

AJ interrupted her.  “If you’re not feeling well, stay at the hotel, don’t push yourself, and Ma will understand.”

 

“Its fine really, I’m actually looking forward to it.” She said with a light smile.

 

When the plane landed AJ made sure they had gathered everything they brought on board and then exited the plane with everyone else.  There were a few fans at the Airport and like usual Chelsea stayed in the background, not noticing the chatting girls around her.  She watched as AJ and the guys stopped to take pictures and sign autographs and she couldn’t’ help but smile to herself as she watched him with his fans.  Remembering the conversations they had had over if the guys would ever got as big as New Kids, Kevin said they were at one point but that’s where the similarities ended.  She snickered at the thought of how mad Kevin got when she compared them to New Kids.

 

When they finally made it outside to the vans waiting for them, Chelsea looked around for AJ but couldn’t see him.  All the bodyguards were outside, all the guys were outside but as she looked around she noticed that Chris or Denise weren’t there either.

 

“Want me to put your bag in the back?” Nick asked as he reached for her strap.

 

“Sure.” She said to him still looking for AJ.  “Have you seen Alex?”

 

“Uh.” Nick said as he looked back to the airport doors.  “Probably talking to the fans.” He replied with a light smile, she smiled back as he took her bag and walked around behind the van.  When she looked back to the airport doors she saw AJ standing on the other side, talking, talking aggressively.   She could tell he was yelling by the movement of his arm and she became very confused. 

 

“Leave me the fuck alone!” She heard him shout as the door opened and she looked over to Nick to see if he had heard it.  If he did, he didn’t pay it any attention as he closed the trunk door to the van.  When she looked back she saw AJ heading towards her trying to light his cigarette.

 

“Is everything ok?” She asked as he walked up to her.

 

“It’s fine.” He said quickly as he took a drag.  “I’ll get in when I’m done this smoke.” He told her as he nodded to the van.  Looking over his shoulder she saw his Mom and Chris walk out of the Airport doors and over towards them.

 

“Was he yelling at them? At Chris or even his Mom?” She thought as she looked back at him.  He was mad she could tell, his lips tight even when he took a drag of the cigarette.  The way he blew the smoke out of his lungs and the way he would flick the ashes onto the ground.  With a confused look on her face she turned around and got into the van beside Nick.  She was lost in thought and not paying attention as Chris, Denise and Tony climbed into the back of the van. 

 

“Why is he so upset at me?” She heard Denise say behind her.

 

“So is AJ taking you guys to the Tea Room?” Nick asked and she wondered if he said it to distract from Denise comment.

 

“The what?” Chelsea asked unsure what it was.

 

“The Willow Tea Rooms.” Denise snapped sharply behind her.  “They were built by Kate Crantson and designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh, a place where people could go and talk.”

 

“Without the drunk Scottish men bugging them.” Tony joked.  Chelsea lightly smiled and laughed as she looked away when AJ climbed in beside her and shut the van door.

 

Chelsea sat in the van, quiet, as Nick tried to keep conversation going between everyone but it was hard to do when three of them were being stone cold silent. She was wondering when this was going too happened.  She grew up with a single Mom too; she knew how over protective and dare she say how needy they could be, especially if they only had one child.  She wished this wouldn’t happen though. Hoping that Denise would see how much she needed her son.

 

Then there was Tim and Jerald coming tonight and she lightly sighed at the thought.  The fight that was going to happened, what they were going to say, what she would say word for word because it has been the same fight they’ve had with each other since she returned.  Maybe she should just stay at the hotel and relax.

 

“I got the key to our room.” AJ said and she looked up at him. She looked around and realized they were in the hotel lobby.

 

“Ok.” She said as she looked back to the entrance to see the van pulling away.

 

“My bag.” She said turning around.

 

“I got it.” AJ told her as he bent down and picked up both their bags.  “Didn’t you hear me at the van?” He asked.

 

“Oh yeah sorry.” She said lightly shaking her head.

 

AJ cocked his head a little looking at her, she looked a little confused, or lost maybe.  He was about to ask her if she was ok but Nick interrupted them.

 

“We’re all heading up.” He told them as he stopped in front of them.  AJ watched as Chelsea made her way to the elevators.

 

“Did Mom say anything to Chels when I was having a smoke?” AJ asked as he looked at Nick.

 

“No, but when Chelsea asked what the tea room was your Mom got kind of snotty.” Nick said with a light shrug.

 

“Damn it.” He sighed.

 

“Is everything ok?” Nick asked as he followed AJ to the elevators.  “I dunno if she picked up on the tone but she heard you yelling at the Airport I think.”

 

“Mom just being Mom, wants Chelsea to stay at the hotel, she says she hasn’t had any alone time with me.”

 

“You guys hung out the other day together.” Nick said.

 

“Yep.” AJ nodded. “And I want to take Chelsea out, she’s got the guys coming tonight and I want her to have a good time, take her mind off it.”  He said as they walked onto the elevator.

 

“Which room is ours?” Chelsea asked him and he realized she was standing beside him after everyone had bunched up.

 

“506..” AJ told her looking at the key card.  “Figure we’ll get some food and then head out.”  He said as they exited the elevator and headed down their hallway.

 

“Room service sounds nice, I’m starving.” She said with a light smile and he smiled back as he stopped at their door.  Sliding the card in he waited for it to beep and the light to go green and then turned the knob.  He walked into the room, dropped his bag, and then dropped himself onto the bed.

 

“I think I’m going to stay here instead of going out.” Chelsea said and he popped his head up.

 

“What?” He asked.

 

“I know you want me to go and get my mind off everything but I think if I just stay here, I’ll relax more.” She told him.

 

“Then we’ll stay here, I told you that was ok.” AJ said as he sat up on his arms.

 

“But I don’t want you cancelling your plans with your family, they’ve been looking forward to coming here..and..”

 

“And this is because of Mom.” AJ said and she looked at him.

 

“No” She said quickly.  “Maybe a little.” She said quietly.

 

“I knew this was going happen.” AJ sighed.  “I asked her to just wait it out but no, she’s gotta throw her fits and act like a two year old.”

 

“Alex.” Chelsea said.  “I know what it’s like remember.” She told him as he looked up at her and she sat down beside him.  “When we first moved to Kentucky my Mom was always getting upset at all the time I was spending with the Richardson’s and Kevin, and they were life long friends of hers.”

 

“But you’re sick.” AJ said as his eyes frowned.

 

“Yes but I’m not dying.” She said with a light smile.  “Go to the Tea Rooms with your Mom; give her today, its ok really.”

 

“Chelsea..” AJ sighed.

 

“I’m stressing over Tim and Jerald, I don’t want to have an episode in the middle of Glasgow anyways.” She said and he sighed again looking at her.  “Besides Alex, she’s your Mom and as anal as mine could be I’d give anything to hang with her again.”

 

“Anal?” AJ said looking at her.  “Kevin’s going to kill Nick.” Chelsea started laughing and it made him laugh, her smiles and laughs were always like that, contagious.

 

“Oh that reminds me, better call Kev and let him know we’re here.” AJ said as he stood up.  “I’ll go grab us something from the restaurant, burger?”

 

“With Cheese.” She said reaching for the phone.

 

As she punched in the last number she heard the door to the room close.  Sitting up she waited as the phone rang and rang.  Then the answering machine picked up.

 

“Hi.” Chelsea said a little surprised to get the voice mail.  “Umm we’re in Glasgow now our room is 506 and you have the hotel number so call whenever you get in, I’ll be here.” She said goodbye and hung up.  As she stood up from the bed the phone rang and she smiled knowing it was probably Kevin.

 

“Hello?” She answered.

 

“Hey Shorty, I was just going to call you.” Kevin said.

 

“Is that why there was no answer?” She asked with a light laugh.

 

“Sort of.” Kevin said and she heard the tone in his voice and she stayed silent wondering what was happening now.  “I just got off the phone with the lawyer that handled the case against your dad after we found him and you.”

 

“Yeah.” Chelsea said as she began to feel nervous.

 

“It seems Tim and Jerald have been talking to him, and..” Kevin stopped and she waited, waited to long for him to answer.

 

“What Kevin, what did they do now?” Chelsea asked.

 

“They got an injunction against you.” Kevin sighed.

 

“A what?” Chelsea asked knowing the word but not sure on its meaning.

 

“An Injunction, it basically says you need to return to Kentucky, you need to be with your Doctors and within a proper medical facility.”

 

“And Glasgow doesn’t have those?” She asked still shocked and unsure what was going on.

 

“They do Chels but they haven’t dealt with your history and everything and the boys feel you’ll be better treated if you stay here, if something happens then you’re right here by the University.” Kevin told her.

 

“Well I’m not going.” Chelsea replied stubbornly.

 

“Chels it doesn’t work like that, it’s an injunction.  If you ignore it they could arrest you and bring you home that way.” Kevin told her.

 

“Then let them, I don’t care.” Chelsea snapped as a feeling she hadn’t had in a long time came rushing back.  Trapped, alone, and helpless.  She breathed heavily as her lungs started to tighten.  Her hands started shaking, then her body, and she dropped the phone.  Her eyes darted across the room quickly as she ran her fingers through her hair.  A gasping cry broke for her lips and she fought the tears back.  Her anxiety was in full bloom and even though she could hear Kevin screaming for her on the phone, she didn’t move, afraid to, waiting for them to come get her and drag her home.  Waiting for them to take her away from him.

                                             Chapter 8

 

 

 

            AJ stood in the elevator the smell of the burgers rising into his nostrils and the smell made his stomach growl.  He opened the top Styrofoam box and stole a fry from his dish.  As he closed the lid the elevator stopped and a bell went off informing him he had reached his floor destination.  Making sure the boxes were steady on top of each other, he walked off the lift and onto this floor.  Slipping his hand into his jeans pocket he pulled out his keycard and slipped it into the magnetic lock, balancing the boxes in his other hand.

 

            “Ok, one burger with cheese as you asked.” AJ said as he walked into the room and set the boxes down on the table.  He looked over to the bed when he didn’t hear anything.  When he took a step towards the bathroom something hit his foot almost tripping him.  He looked down after he caught himself and saw the phone receiver sitting on the floor.

 

            Picking it up off the floor he put it to his ear and heard a busy single.  With a confused look on his face he hung the phone up.

 

            “Chels?” AJ called out as he headed to the bathroom door.  As he reached for the knob he heard a beep from outside the room and then the hotel door open.  “Chels?” AJ said as he moved towards the small room hallway.

 

            “Yeah” She said as she walked out a bucket of ice in her hands.

 

“Why was the phone of the hook?” He asked.  She looked over and frowned when she saw he had hung it up.  Then the phone rang and she looked back at him. 

 

“That’s why.” She said.  “Is this mine?” She asked pointing to the top box.

 

“Bottom one is.” AJ said looking at her.  The phone was still ringing but AJ ignored it, he was more worried about her than who was calling.  Chelsea took her box and set it down on the other end of the table and then walked over to the mini fridge. She was calm but this calm made him feel a little uneasy.

 

“Better answer that, or take it off the hook again.” She said and his eyebrows fell in more confusion.  Slowly, he walked over to the phone and picked it up.

 

“Chels?” He heard Kevin say on the other end.

 

“No. It’s Alex. What’s going on?” He asked as he looked back to Chelsea.  She sat at the table eating her burger, a glass of soda now in front of her, with ice in it.

 

“Where is she, is she ok?” Kevin asked quickly.

 

“She’s in front of me eating a cheeseburger.” AJ said and she didn’t look at him. “What’s going on?”

 

AJ listened as Kevin told him what he told Chelsea, about the injunction.  He then explained how he spent the past fifteen minutes trying to call.  He got through once but she just hung up, after that the line was busy.

 

“Alright man.” AJ said after Kevin finished.  “I’ll call you later.” And then he hung up.  He looked at her and now her calmly manner really made him uneasy.

 

“Chelsea” He said as he stepped towards her.

 

“I guess I don’t have a choice.” She said to him as she put her burger down.

 

“You have a choice; they can’t run your life like this.” AJ said to her as he sat down in the chair beside her.

 

“Kevin doesn’t think so; he says I have to go home, and that they will arrest me if I don’t.” She said looking at him.  She still showed no emotion.

 

“I’ll get someone..”

 

“No” Chelsea said.  “I’m going back. I don’t want to ruin this trip or tour for you and they are just going to keep pushing and pushing and something bad will happen.” She said as she looked at him.  “I’ll go home, but that’s it.  I’m not going to go stop being with you, it’s not even an option.”

 

He looked away, he didn’t want her to go, and he didn’t want to have to worry about how she’s sleeping at night because he’s not there.  Worry that she’ll have another attack and no one will be able to calm her down.

 

“I’ll be ok, just promise you’ll call every night?” She said and he looked up at her.

 

“Every night” He said with a light smile.

 

 

 

Chelsea sat at the table and stared out the door to the hallway.  AJ was down loading the rental car Tim and Jerald had arrived in and probably having some words with who ever went down with him.  She didn’t know who, she didn’t care, and she really didn’t pay attention when they talked.  She told them she would go home with them, she would leave Alex, leave the only person, and the only place she felt safe.  Taking a deep breath she looked up when she heard someone walk into the room.

 

“Ready?” Tim said as AJ followed behind him.  She said nothing as she pushed her chair out standing up.  “I’ll go let Jerald know we’re ready.” Tim said as he walked out of the room.

 

“Did you have a good time with your Mom?” She asked him finally getting a moment alone.

 

“I guess.” AJ shrugged.  “I wish you would have let me stay here.”  She took his hand and rested her head on his arm.  Chelsea kept quiet, he was right, she wished she would have too but there was no point in hurting him and Denise to just hang with her and sulk all day.

 

Chelsea held onto him all the way the down to the garage under the hotel and she didn’t let go until they reached the car.  She wanted to cry but she held it back.  Pulling away she looked up at him and he lightly smiled as he looked down into her eyes.

 

“I’ll call as soon as I get there.” She told him, hugging him one more time.

 

 

AJ didn’t move as he watched the car pull away.  The taste of her lips still on his, he waited until the car had disappeared and he pulled his glasses from his face, wiping his eyes on his T-shirt sleeve.  Placing his sunglasses back over his eyes, he looked back at the exit on more time, hoping she asked them to turn around but after a couple of minutes and no car, he knew she wasn’t coming back.

 

He looked back at the door to the elevators, and then looked around the parking lot, he was so mad he wanted to send his fist through one of the pillars.  He looked up and took a deep breath trying to calm himself.  Slowly he walked to the garage door leading into the private back elevator entrance. 

 

His finger pushed against the button and he looked up and waited.  He waited for the elevator, waited for the doors to open, and he waited for her to take his hand.  The elevator came, the doors opened and as he looked beside him, no one was there.  Taking another deep breath he pushed back the tears, wanting nothing more than to be alone, in his room.  When he got up stairs he was relieved to see no one hanging out in the hallway.  So he went straight to his room, locked the door, switched to the Do Not Disturb sign and then walked into him room.

 

The room looked empty now, only his bag by the nightstand.  He walked over to the phone and punched in a code which directed all calls to front desk, alerting them he did not want to be disturbed and they would take a message.  Laying down on the bed, he began to think.  What if she tried to call, maybe he should leave the phone on.  Reaching over the other side of the bed, he pulled his cell out of his bag. 

 

“If she can’t get through, she’ll try my cell, and I can screen calls on here.” He thought as he placed the phone by the night stand. Taking his glasses off he placed them beside his cell phone and laid his head on the pillow. His mouth frowned when he saw no one laying across from him.  It was like she was gone all over again, one minute she was here, the next she was gone.  He closed his eyes pushing away the thoughts, she was alive, and just going home to Kentucky, he’d see her soon.  There were only a couple of weeks left on the tour, then a break before the South Africa tour.

 

 

 

Chelsea stood at her door, listening to Kevin rip into his brothers. He had arrived with the family an hour or so ago.  After she had visited with him, Kristin and Mason, she went to bed.  A few minutes later is when she heard them starting to fight.

 

“You guys seriously need to back off now, or you’re going to do more damage than he ever could or would.” Kevin shouted.

 

“Oh and cheating on her..” Jerald started to mumble.

 

“Shut up, you two sound just like a pair of fans. Yappin your mouths off about shit you know nothing about.” Kevin snapped interrupting his brother.  “Keep pushing her you two, keep pushing and watch her walk out that door and not come back.”

 

“Where’s she going to go?” Tim asked.

 

“Where do you think?” She heard Kristin snap.

 

“There’s no way she’s going to live with him.” Jerald said.

 

“You guys don’t know him like I do, he looks at her different, he treats her different, his whole mind set is different with her.” Kevin said.  “And I don’t know what to tell you if you can’t see how much she needs him.”

 

“They were sixteen years old.” Jerald snapped.

 

“So what?” Kevin said.  “That’s how old Liz and I were when we met.” Kevin said with shrug.  “You don’t know when love will happen, you’ve never been through what she went through, what he went through; we had a great Dad.”

 

There was a moment of silence and she strained to hear more.  “You have no right to judge what she needs, to go against her own doctor’s wishes and take her away from him the way you did, and you two are lucky she didn’t have an episode because of it.”  Kevin said.  She sighed as she closed the door lightly, not wanting to hear Jerald or Tim fight that argument.

 

As she laid down on her bed, she looked at the small alarm clock beside her.  She didn’t know what time it was in Glasgow but she knew it was late into the morning and didn’t want to wake him.  Even though she knew he wouldn’t mind.  Her eyes fluttered but a knock at the door forced her to open them.

 

“Go away.” She said loud enough so the person on the other side of the door heard her.

 

“It’s Kev.” He said from the other side.  She waited a moment wondering if he would just leave but she knew better.

 

“Come in.” She said as she sat up.

 

“Sorry if I woke you but I wanted to see how you were before I went to bed.” Kevin said as he walked over and sat down in front of her.

 

“I’m fine I guess.” She said with a shrug.

 

“Did you get to talk to Alex when you got home?” He asked.

 

“Yeah” She nodded.

 

“Good, how’s he doing?” He asked.

 

“He didn’t really say much.” She told him.  “Is that all, because I have a long night ahead of me and I’m pretty tired.”

 

“Long night?” Kevin said confused. She just looked at him and he clued into what she meant.

 

“Night Chels.” Kevin said with a small frown.

 

“Night Kev.” She said as he laid back and rolled onto her side.  Noticing it took him a minute to get up, she closed her eyes and waited.  She waited for Kevin to leave, the door to close and for his arm to wrap around her, like it did every night.  Kevin left, the door closed, but his arm didn’t touch her.  A tear dripped from her eye as she pulled her blankets tighter around her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 9

 

 

 

            “How fast is he going?” Leigh-Anne asked as they tried to follow AJ’s rental car.

 

“He’s twenty over the speed limit.” Brian sighed as he kept the proper pace.  “I’m just glad he waited until we hit Aunt Anne’s street and didn’t rip through the city like this.”

 

“He missed her.” Leigh-Anne replied with a light smile.

 

AJ looked in his review mirror and lightly smirked as he saw just a little bit of Brian’s car in the dust being kicked up by his car.  He tried to go slow but his brain knew the harder his foot pushed onto the gas peddle, the quicker he would get too her.  It had been twelve days since she left and all he wanted to do was hold her.  His foot relaxed as he saw the house come into sight and he couldn’t help but smile.  Pulling into the driveway, he had barely put the car into park as he undid his seatbelt.  Quickly he pulled the keys from the ignition and opened the door.

 

“Dude you better hope Kevin didn’t see you flying down the road.” Brian said as he got out of his car.  AJ was about to reply when he heard the side door open and he turned to see who it was.  Another smile broke across his face when he saw Chelsea running down the porch steps.  She didn’t stop running until she reached him and then she leaped into his arms.  He was ready for it too, bracing himself and catching her.

 

“I missed you so much.” She whispered as her arms wrapped around him tighter.

 

“I missed you too babe.” He told her as she pulled away. They kissed and both ignored Brian’s moaning as he walked by.  “So who’s all here?”

 

“Not Tim and Jerald, they left a couple of days ago.” She told him as she took his hand.  He looked down at it for a moment and lightly smiled, his hand no longer feeling empty.  “They’re pretty mad, Dr. Adenhall was not impressed when he found out what happened and the fact the boys went against his advice.”

 

“So no more injunction?” AJ asked.

 

“Nope and I’ve been told from now on to only listen to him, even if there’s another injunction.” She told him as they walked up the porch stairs. 

 

“Noted.” AJ said with a nod and Chelsea lightly smiled.  “So you have anything planned today?” He asked.

 

“Just spending it with you.” She told him as they walked into the house.

 

“Don’t think I didn’t see the dust coming up from your car when you pulled in.” Kevin said interrupting them.

 

“Sorry, just wanted to get here.” AJ said with a shrug.  Kevin laughed and hugged him, then took his seat back on the couch.

 

“Well I’m glad you did, if I had to wait any longer I think Anne was going to kick me to the back porch.” She told him and they both laughed as she lead him upstairs.

 

“How fast was he going?” Kevin asked when they disappeared up the stairs.

 

“Not fast at all.” Leigh-Anne said.

 

“About twenty over the limit.” Brian said at the same time.  They both looked at each other and then Leigh-Anne rolled her eyes.

 

“I’ll give them their time and then I’m kicking his ass.” Kevin sighed.

 

 

 

 

 

            “So what did you do while I was gone?” AJ asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

 

“Besides fight with Tim and Gerald?” She said as she sat down beside him.

 

“Yeah besides that.” AJ said as he turned and faced her.

 

“Anne and I went out to see Mom, went shopping, she basically did everything to keep me away from the guys.” Rayne said with a shrug.  “What about you what did you do?”

 

“Sleep, sing, eat, rinse and repeat.” AJ said with an exhausted smiled. When he looked at her he noticed she didn’t even smile.  Sitting up he put his fingers under her chin and turned her to look at him.  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

“Just tired.” She said looking away.

 

“Tired? Like I need to take a nap tired or the hell with everything tired?” He asked.

 

“Somewhere in between?” She said as she squished her nose a little.  AJ sighed and then pulled himself back against the headboard. 

 

“Come here.” He said as he motioned for her to join him.  Slowly she made her way over lying between his legs, her head resting on his chest, one arm slipped under his back.

 

“So why are you tired, is it just the boys?” AJ asked.

 

“Maybe, I dunno, it’s just that I’m tired of trying to prove to them that I know what I want.” She said as they lied there.  “They don’t want me to rush anything with you, but they’re rushing me in everything else.  Figure out what I want to do, go back to school, find a job, whatever.  They just don’t see or care about what I went through, I feel…” She stopped searching for her words.

 

“You feel what hun?” AJ asked.

 

“I feel trapped again.” She sighed.  “I want to get out, I don’t want to sit here and hide in this house.  I want to move on but it seems the only way I can do that is to find a damn career.”  She then sat up and looked at him. “They want me to be apart of life as long as it’s not with you but, my Mom’s gone, my friends barely remember me, the only life I have is with you.”

 

“But you have Anne, Kevin and even his brothers.”

 

“But they don’t make me feel normal, they make me feel worse, they make me remember what it was like with Dad because they want me here, no where else, all I’m missing is the ankle chain.” She sighed.

 

“Chelsea.” AJ frowned.

 

“Well it’s true.” She said sitting up. “I feel like this isn’t my home anymore.”

 

He sat up and gently kissed her cheek, then pulled her into a hug.  At first he noticed she didn’t return it, and then slowly she wrapped her arms around his back.  AJ didn’t know what to do for her; he wished Kevin’s brothers would back off.  He understood being protective of her but they were starting to take things to far.

 

“I wish I could stay longer.” He said with a sigh.

 

“It’s ok, I know you have things to do.” Chelsea said as she pulled away.  “How did your other shows go?” She asked.

 

“ah, good, good they went good.” AJ said nodding.  His voice showing a sign of a lie but it wasn’t they all went really well, it’s just that there was one show that stood out.  “My Dad showed up at the Paris show.”

 

“Your Dad?” Chelsea replied her voice trailing off.

 

“Yeah, he was standing outside in line, some fans who came to the meet n greet told me he was out there.” AJ said his mind flashing back when he heard the girls telling him.  “I got security to bring him in.”

 

“And?” Chelsea said as she put her hand over his.

 

“We just talked a bit, he wished me luck, I didn’t really have time to talk it was almost show time.” He said as he wrapped his fingers around her hand.

 

“Did you sing Sincerely Yours?” She asked.

 

“Almost didn’t, almost pulled it from the line up but I sung it.” He said as he looked at her.  “After the show he said he had to go, he had an early flight, said he was proud of me, we hugged and then he left.”  He told her.

 

“He came, he heard it, now you just have to let it sink in. He may need to hear it a few more times.” She said with a light smile.

 

“Yeah” AJ said with a small nod.  Chelsea smiled back at him as he brushed her bangs behind her ear.  As they softly kissed AJ’s mind began to remember how much he missed her and not when she was “dead” but just the past couple of weeks.  Finding it hard to fall asleep without her beside him, waking up and realizing she wasn’t there.  They pulled away and he thought about how much he was going to miss her when he had to go back to California and begin rehearsals for the South Africa tour.

 

A knock at the door broke him from his thoughts as Chelsea stood up from the bed to answer it.  “Hey man.” He said when he saw Kevin at the door. 

 

“You guys hungry?” Kevin asked.

 

“Starving.” AJ said as he stood up.

 

“Well let’s go out and grab something to eat.” Kevin said to the two of them.  Chelsea and AJ both agreed and followed him out the door.

 

 

 

June 8th 2008

 

            I’m home now, this place always feels weird after I come home from being on tour. So empty.  Things went well on tour, they went well for my solo shows.  I had a talk with Kevin on my way home.  Him and his family flew back with me since he had some sort of Movie thing he had to look into, I’m not sure.  I still hope he’ll change his mind, but I doubt it.  Anyways he told met that him and Kristin have been talking and they are thinking of asking Chelsea to move in with them if she wants.  It will be a change from Kentucky and she will be closer to me.  I’m fucking ecstatic about the idea.  They said they will talk to her about it when Kevin knows more about that Movie he will be filming.  Anyways I need to get some food and say hello to some friends, let them know I’m back. Like always, See ya!

 

 

            Chelsea sat in the middle of the living room floor.  Anne was across from her in the chair she always sat in watching the late night news.  She brought her legs together and stretched out touching her toes.  Slowly she had started to get back into gymnastics, nothing major just things she would do out in the blue grass fields by herself, helping her relax.  She pulled herself up as Anne walked past her to answer the phone that was ringing. 

 

Pulling her legs apart she stretched out in front of her again, this time her hands slowly creeping across the floor.  She could feel her muscles pulling on her back, pulling under her legs, but she breathed through it and slowly sat back up.

 

“Oh my god Kevin is he ok?” She heard Anne gasp and she turned around.  Chelsea’s face fell in puzzlement as she looked at Anne’s solemn expression.  Anne didn’t say anything more but her body language spoke volumes.  She closed her eyes and put her hand on the table and just nodded.  Chelsea’s heart started to race, something was wrong with Mason.  She waited anxiously until Anne was on the phone.

 

“What’s wrong, is it Mason, is he ok?” She said as Anne hung up the phone.

 

“Mason is fine darling.” Anne said as she walked over and sat down on the couch. 

 

“Then what’s wrong, is it Kevin?” She said confused; maybe she heard the conversation wrong. Chelsea stood up and sat down beside Anne.

 

“No, no Kevin is fine.” Anne said.  “It’s Alex.”

 

Chelsea couldn’t speak, her heart started beating at a racers pace, her hands began to sweat and her body was so tense it started to ache. 

 

“He was in an accident.” Anne said slowly.

 

“What kind of accident?” Chelsea asked her voice weak and shaking.

 

“He was at an intersection, he was stopped at a Red light, Kevin said.” Anne began to tell her.  “Someone rear ended him and his car was pushed into the on coming traffic and..” Anne paused and closed her eyes.  “He was T-boned on his side; he’s in critical condition right now.”

 

“No.” Chelsea said standing up.  “No, no I don’t wanna hear this.”

 

“Chelsea” Anne said quickly as she stood up and went after her but Chelsea didn’t get very far as she collapsed by the stairs crying.  She screamed and pounded her fist against the floor, her anger exploded from her.  Anne’s arms wrapped around her and she leaned into her crying, whimpering.  “He’ll be ok Chelsea, he’s not going to leave you after getting you back.” 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 10

 

 

 

 

            Chelsea quickly wiped the tears away from her face as her and Kevin stopped at a large wooden door.  She took a deep breath as the words Kevin had said to her seconds ago played over in her head.

 

“He’s on a ventilator; you know what that is right?” He asked her as they stood by the nurse’s station.  She closed her eyes and nodded.  “His eyes are bruised from the broken nose and his head is wrapped in a bandage because of the surgery to release the pressure on his brain.” Chelsea closed her eyes tighter as she remembered Kevin telling her he was in surgery before they left for the airport.  “I want you to be prepared to see him.” It was the last thing Kevin said to her before they walked down the hall and arrived at this point, outside of AJ’s hospital door.

 

“Ready?” Kevin asked her as his arm wrapped over her shoulder gently.  All she could do was nod, she wasn’t even sure if she was breathing.  Kevin opened the door and the sounds of the room jolted into her ears. 

 

The beeping of the heart monitor, the whooshing of the ventilator as it pushed air into AJ’s lungs, and hundreds of other sounds from all the monitors in his room.  Staring at Kevin’s back her vision was tunneled and then he stepped to his left.

 

Her stomach twisted as she saw him lying there.  His arms lying at his side, a plastic shell over his finger on his left hand, small plastic tubes draped down from their bags into the back of his right and left hands.  His chest went up as the black plastic accordion pushed down, she watched as his chest went back down as the accordion tube pulled up sealing it to the top.

 

“Kevin” Chelsea whispered as she swallowed quickly fighting to keep her stomach down.  He wrapped his arm around her, giving her something to lean on.

 

“The doctor said that he probably can hear people around him, why don’t you go over and talk to him.” He said as she looked up at him.

 

“He’s in a coma.” She said as the last word didn’t help her stomach.

 

“It’s medical induced to make sure the swelling goes down.” Kevin said comforting her.  “His doctor said they’ll probably wake him tomorrow.”

 

“Where’s his Mom?” She asked as she wiped her eyes.

 

“She went to get something to eat.” He told her.  “Go sit by him, I’ll be outside.”

 

Chelsea lightly nodded as Kevin gave her a hug and then left the room.  Taking a deep breath her eyes locked on him.  She fought back the tears as she stared at him, waiting for his eyes to open.

 

“Come here darlin’” She heard his voice in her mind.  She pictured herself walking over to him as he lifted his arms and she leaned slowly into them.  The sound of people running past his door broke her from the little day dream and reality came crashing back to her.

 

At first her body wouldn’t move, wouldn’t let her take a step towards his bed.  With a soft moan she pushed her body to obey and slowly she walked up to the end of his bed.  The blanket came up to his waist, a hospital gown covering his chest, and by the looks of all the wires going into the neck of his gown; it hid all of the monitor pads. 

 

She started walking again along the side of his bed.  Her hand wanted to touch him but her brain told her no, she might pull out a tube, or make him sick.  A whimper broke from her lips as her eyes looked at his face.  His eyes blackened from his broken nose, which was swollen.  Chelsea tried to pull her eyes away from the tube coming from his mouth but she couldn’t.  She wanted to kiss his lips and tell him it would be ok, but she couldn’t. 

 

Covering her mouth almost like she didn’t want him to hear her cry, she let her pain and anger out.  Her mind raced with her thoughts of what he was going through, did he feel anything, can he really hear her, does he know she’s there.  Her hand reached out and touched his arm, her fingers gently brushed along his mask tattoo.  Slowly she sat down in the old seventy style orange chair.

 

“I’m here.” She whispered and she waited for him to say something but he didn’t.  “I..I..” She stuttered.  “I…I’m ok, I..I just need you to be ok.”  Chelsea sniffed and wiped her eyes. Looking at the ceiling she lightly laughed.  “Kevin’s already driving me nuts asking if I’m ok every two minutes. So I need you to wake up soon and tell him to back off.”  She looked in his eyes, well if they were open.  “Please be ok Alex, I can’t do this without you, I can’t look forward to anything if you’re not there, I don’t want to if you’re not there, I need you, I need to you keep me safe, I need you to remind me what love is, show me what love is, show me I can be loved again.”

 

“You are loved sweetheart.” A voice said from beside her and she jumped.  Chelsea looked up and saw Denise standing at the door; she hadn’t even heard his Mom walk into the room.  “The Richardson’s love you very much and I know Kevin’s brothers are acting like jerks somewhat but they love you, they worry about you and they only want what is best for you.”

 

“What they think is best for me, not what I think.” Chelsea said correcting her.

 

“That’s the thing about family; if they care too much they become blinded and only see one way to go.” Denise said as she looked at AJ.  “When someone you love is in pain you want to make them better, and because you think they are in pain, you think they can’t help themselves.  But they can and if you give them time they will.  The boys just need to see that, and you know what?” Denise said as Chelsea looked up at her.  “If they give you a hard time right now, you send them to me, and I’ll set them straight.”  Chelsea was a little shocked Denise was usually very defensive of her, especially when she was on tour with them. 

 

“Most of the girls, not all I will admit, but most of the girls my son dated, even the ones he almost married, never understood our relationship.  It’s been him and I for so long it was hard to adjust to sharing him, and I just don’t mean with his girlfriends, I have to share him with millions of girls around the world.” She explained.  “I had to fight for my time with him and he made it harder because he wanted to be loved by someone else so bad.  I’m still learning to trust that he won’t shut me out again, I guess whenever he meets another girl I fall into old habits.”

 

Denise took a deep breath.  “I know you would never take him away from me because you know what it is like to lose a parent, you love him and you would never want him to know that pain.” She said a tear dripped down her cheek.  “So, I hope you give me a chance, a chance to get over the old habits.”  Chelsea lightly smiled and nodded, she really didn’t know what to say.

 

“When did you get in?” Denise asked after a moment.

 

“About an hour ago, we came right here.” Chelsea said as she wiped her eyes again.

 

“Why don’t you go and get something to eat and shower, they’re going to do a cat scan in a couple of hours, if all signs are good they’re going to wake him up, you can come back and be a little more relaxed.”

 

“No, no I don’t wanna leave him.” Chelsea said as he eyes went to the tube in his mouth again.

            “Chelsea, if he was awake he’d tell you the same thing, you have to take care of yourself, he wouldn’t want you having an episode from this.” Denise told her.  Chelsea took a deep breath, she knew Denise was right, but she still didn’t want to leave.

 

“Alright.” She said with a light nod.

 

“I’ll call if there’s any update.” Denise said as Chelsea stood up.  For the first time the two ladies hugged and then Chelsea left to get Kevin.  He was standing outside of the waiting room talking to Kristin and his Mom when she walked up to them.

 

“Everything ok?” Kevin asked as he looked down towards AJ’s room.

 

“Yeah, Denise wants me to get something to eat, change into some fresh clothes.” Chelsea said quietly.

 

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want too.” Kevin said and she heard the defensiveness in his tone.

 

“its fine Kevin, she’s right, I need to eat, I haven’t slept at all and I don’t plan to until I know he’s awake.  So I need to eat.” She lightly sighed.

 

“Alright then let’s go so we can get back.” Kevin said to everyone with a nod.

 

The image of AJ lying on the bed, his swollen and bruised face, how robotic his breathing was, even the sound of the ventilator ringed in her ears as she stared out the window.  When she came here she didn’t know what she was going to do, how she was going to act, and she tried her hardest to keep from freaking out.  She knew like Denise said, he wouldn’t want her having an episode because of this but she wondered how she would get through this without him.

 

Chelsea rolled her eyes as she broke her stare from the car window. She had to do this without him, she had to show everyone that she was strong enough to take care of herself, keep herself relaxed so she could handle the stress that was being thrown at her alone.  Her eyes drifted to Kevin’s image in the rearview mirror, she thought about his brothers. 

 

Her Alex was lying in a coma; she almost lost him, never mind him losing her.  For the first time she got a small glimpse of what he must have felt when he heard she was dead.  The pain of your heart breaking, a hole replacing the love that was once there, wondering, wanting to feel that way one more time but knowing it would never be with him, in his case with her. 

 

“Chels?” Kevin said and it broke her from her thoughts and she realized she was still staring at him.  His eyes darted to the front window then back on her.   “You ok?”

 

“Yeah, fine, sorry was just thinking.” She said looking back out the window.

 

When they arrived at Kevin’s house, she helped Kevin bring all the travel bags inside the house and then she took her bag and headed upstairs.  Pulling her bag behind her she entered the room she had stayed in the last time she was here, for AJ’s solo show.  She put her bag on the bed and slowly opened it.  She shifted through the clothes looking for something new to wear, something comfortable because she was going to be sitting in his room for a while. When she had decided on the right outfit she gathered everything in her arms and headed into the bathroom.  Grabbing a towel she hung it by the shower doors and turned on the water.

 

Chelsea let the water fall down her as she tried to relax from the events that had happened in the past 24 hours but it was no use because every time she closed her eyes she saw him, lying there, his chest going up and down, up and down.  If it wasn’t for the fact she had to cover her mouth so the worry ears outside wouldn’t hear her crying, she wouldn’t even know she was.  That was the thing about showers it washed the tears away. 

 

“You are weak and pathetic, no one wanted you, she didn’t love you she felt sorry for you.” Chelsea gasped a little as her fathers voiced echoed into her mind. She shook the words she had heard so many times out of her head, she took a deep breath and composed herself.

 

She let the shower run longer than she normally would, it was the only alone time she knew she would get.  No one asking her if she was ok, no beeps, no whooshing, just the water and her.  When she wiped the fog off the mirror she frowned, her eyes were red and a little puffy. 

 

Drying herself off she got dressed and left the bathroom, walking her way to her bedroom.  She dropped her towel on the floor and slowly slid across the bed stretching out.  Closing her eyes she thought about resting for a moment.  She had a little bit before she needed to be back, maybe a little nap wouldn’t be so bad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>

                                             Chapter 11

 

 

 

            Chelsea slept on the old seventy styles chair, a pillow tucked under her neck, a shuffling sound broke her from her sleep and she sat up.  She looked at the end of AJ’s bed, her heart fluttered at who she saw standing there.

 

“Mom?” She said confused.

 

“Well he turned out to be quite the looker.” Her Mother said with a smile and Chelsea looked over at AJ lying in the bed.

 

“I’m dreaming.” Chelsea said sadly.

 

“Does it matter?” He mother asked.

 

“Yes” Chelsea replied to her.

 

“Why?” Her Mother asked.

 

“Because when I wake up you’ll be gone, and he...” she stopped and looked at him.  “He’ll still be there.”

 

“I’ll still be here; you just won’t be able to see me.” Her Mom told her.

 

“I miss you.” Chelsea said as a tear dripped from her eye.

 

“I miss you too but I don’t regret what I did.” She told her and Chelsea looked at her shocked.  “It let me be with you, it let me sit in that room with you and protect you as best I could.”

 

“But you’re not here now.” Chelsea said as she looked at her.

 

“But he is.” Her Mom said nodding at AJ.  “And he’s going to need you as much as you need him.”

 

A knock at the door made her look at the large wooden door, when know one came in she looked back at the end of the bed but her Mom was gone.  She looked around the room hoping her Mom had moved but she wasn’t there.

 

“Chelsea?” She heard Kevin say and she looked back over to the door as she did, her eyes fluttered and she lifted her head looking around the room.  “Have a good nap?” Kevin asked as he stood at the bedroom door.

 

“Yeah” Chelsea said still confused.

 

“Denise called, he’s back from the CAT scan and everything looks good.” Kevin said with a light smile and it made Chelsea sit up.

 

“Are they going to wake him?” She asked as she quickly got out of the bed.

 

“In an hour but Denise said it could take a bit for him to wake up, so there’s no rush.” Kevin said as he saw her rushing to grab her sweater.

 

“I don’t care I want to be there when they do.” Chelsea told him stopping at the door.

 

“Well have something to eat and then I’ll take you back down there.” He told her.  She lightly smiled at him and left the room; Kevin closed the door behind them and followed her down the hall. 

 

Chelsea ate as quickly as she could without making Kevin yell at her too slow down.  When she was done Kevin helped her gather some things and they both got into his car.  As they pulled out of the drive way she turned to him.

 

“Can you get into his house?” She asked.

 

“Huh?” Kevin said confused.

 

“Do you have a key to his house; he said a while ago he had one to yours.” Chelsea said as Kevin stopped at the stop sign.

 

“Yeah I do, why?” Kevin asked looking at her.

 

“We should get some of his things, like his pajama’s, his IPod, oh the dogs what about the dogs?” She asked.

 

“His Mom said he hadn’t picked them up yet, so they’re ok.” Kevin said with a light smile.  “And I think that’s a good idea.”  Chelsea lightly smiled; it made her feel good she was helping.

 

It didn’t take them long to go through the house, most of his things were still in his bags on the floor in the hallway.  It was a little surreal for her as she walked down the hall, everything stopped in time.  As she peaked into the living room something on the coffee table caught her eye.  She walked over to the book that sat on the glass and picked it up. 

 

“What’s that?” Kevin asked as he walked into the room.

 

            “His journal.” Chelsea said as her hand slid down it.  “It was sitting here.”

 

“Check the last entry maybe he was writing in it when he left.” Kevin said.

 

“Well that’s very Nick of you.” Chelsea shot at him. “And no I’m not reading it, I’ll just put it in his bag incase he needs it.”  She walked past him and over to the bag they had ready too take, slipping the book into a pocket.  “I think that’s it.” She said turning to him.

 

“Alright let’s head out.” Kevin said as he got his keys ready.

 

Holding the bag on her lap she stared out the window, much like she did when she was leaving the hospital.  She was starting to feel a little anxious, waiting for him to open his eyes, so she can look in them again, so he could talk and she could hear his voice again.

 

Kevin took the back way into the hospital to dodge as many cameras’ as he could.  There were only one or two and they didn’t see it was him until it was too late and security stopped them from entering the garage.

 

Lightly throwing the bag over her shoulder she closed the car door, the slamming sound echoed around the cement walls.  She hated the way these places smelled, gas, oil and exhaust all mixed into one big cancer causing cloud.  A small smiled came across her face, she had been around Kevin to long.

 

“I’m going to go check on when the other guys will be here, let them know about the crowed outside.” He said with a light sigh as they stopped by AJ’s door.

 

“I thought they didn’t care about you guys anymore.” She said jokingly.

 

“Not when we’re down.” Kevin said with a hint of anger.

 

“Well, then you know you’ve made it.” She said with a light smile. 

 

He smiled back at her and they hugged.  “I’ll come check on you in a bit.”

 

“Ok.” She said and then he headed down the hallway towards the waiting rooms.  She waited until he disappeared and then looked back at the large wooden door.  With a deep breath she stepped forward and reached for the knob.

 

“You’re back.” Denise said with a smile as Chelsea closed the door behind her.

 

“Yeah, had a shower, took a small nap, and ate.” She told his Mom.  “I also got Kevin to take me to his house and I grabbed some things for him.”

 

“Oh, well you didn’t have to do that.” Denise said as Chelsea handed her the bag.

 

“It’s ok, I didn’t mind.” She said with a shrug as she sat down.

 

“Is anyone else here?” Denise asked.

 

“Kevin is, he’s in the waiting room calling around, checking on arrival times.”

 

Chelsea sat down in the orange seventy style chair and as she looked around she got a weird feeling a déjà vu.  Her eyes drifted over to him, the way he looked less of a shock for her. Both woman sat there quietly, both not wanting to say anything, and both understanding why the other didn’t. 

 

Soon the doctor entered with a couple of nurses behind him. Chelsea stood up and moved to the end of his bed.  The Doctor explained to them what he was going to do.  He was going to turn off the pentobarbital and then they would wait for AJ to wake.  Her heart sank when he told them it would take a few days for the effects to wear off and for him to wake up.

 

“More waiting.” Denise sighed as she sat back down. 

 

The days slowly rolled by, once in a while he would mumble, his finger would flinch, but nothing that would be considered awake.  The doctor said it was normal as the oxygen started flowing through his body more, as his muscles and brain started to wake up.  Seconds, minutes, hours, days rolled by and Chelsea only went back to Kevin’s to eat and shower, sleeping when she could in the uncomfortable chairs.  She would wake up at every little sound, wondering if that was him, when her eyes and mind had shown her it wasn’t, she would switch positions and fall back asleep. 

 

It was the fifth day and she sat alone in his room.  His Mom had gone to his house to shower and freshen up.  She sat writing in her book of Sudoku, something Denise had shown her to help exercise her mind and help keep her mind off of AJ.  Something shook the railing to his bed and she quickly looked up, almost dropping the book.  She sat there staring at him for a moment shocked at what she was seeing, then his hand let go of the railing and reached for the tube. 

 

“Don’t.” She said quickly as she grabbed his wrist and stopped his arm, when she realized he was going to try and pull it out.  His eyes showed fear as he grabbed for her hand when he saw it was her.  “You need to leave that in, just let it breath for you.” She explained to him, repeating what the Doctor had told her and Denise to tell him when he woke up and his eyes fell in confusion. “You were in an accident and they had to put you in a coma until the swelling in your brain went down.”  His eyes filled up with tears and he closed them tight letting everything sink in.

 

“You’ll be ok Alex.” She said as she took his hand and squeezed it.  “You just need to say calm babe ok? Let the Ventilator breath for you.”  She placed the back of his hand against her face, he let go of her hand and touched her cheek, and she smiled at him.  “I need to get the Doctor.” She told him but he grabbed her hand, she could tell he didn’t’ want her to go.  “I’ll be right back I promise.”

 

Hesitantly he let her go and she made sure to hurry down the hallway towards the nurse’s station.  She told the nurse he was awake and the woman had paged the Doctor before she even walked away.  Then Chelsea stopped and turned back around.

 

“Can you call his Mother’s cell and let her know.” She told the nurse and then headed back towards his room.  For the first time she didn’t hesitate when she came to his door and opened it quickly. 

 

“See that didn’t take long.” She told him with a light smile as she took his hand again.  Chelsea noticed his eyes were red and wet from tears and as the back of his fingers touched her cheek, she watched as they fell in pain.  He mumbled trying to talk but the tube prevented him to do so and he almost chocked on it.

 

“I’m ok.” She told him as her hand gently slid down his arm.  “I almost lost it but your Mom’s been really helpful.” He looked at her a little confused and she couldn’t help but smile and lightly laugh. 

 

Just then the door opened and as she turned around she saw the Doctor walk in.  He walked right over to the bed and introduced himself to AJ.  The man asked AJ some questions and told him to answer by blinking.  When the Doctor was done writing he asked Chelsea to leave so his nurses would have room to help him remove the tube and get AJ breathing on his own again.

 

Leaning up against the wall across from AJ’s door, she leaned her head back against it and sighed.  A small smile broke from her lips as the weight lifted from her shoulders.  She had gotten through the first part, waiting for him to wake up.  Her thoughts went to ‘what now’.  Would he have trouble walking, talking, remembering, and how long will it take for him to get back to his old self, if he even could.

 

“Chelsea, is he really awake?” She heard Denise say and she looked down the hall to see the woman walking as fast as she could.

 

“Yeah, he’s awake.” She smiled.  “They’re taking out the tube now.”  The two hugged, holding each other, both crying, thankful he was going to be ok.

 

About fifteen minutes later the Doctor and nurses came out; Chelsea caught a glimpse of him sitting up in his bed, drinking something.  The door closed over him before she could make eye contact.

 

“Is it ok if I go sit with him?” Chelsea asked as the doctor as he opened his clip board.

 

“Sure, I just need to go over some things with his Mom.” The Doctor nodded.

 

Denise and Chelsea hugged quickly and then she turned to the door, opening it slowly.  “Hi.” She said with a bright smile as she walked over to his bed.  He put his water down on the table.  “Do you need anything? I got Kevin to take me to your house and I picked up some things for you.” She pointed to his bag as she stopped at his bed side.

 

He spoke slowly his voice strained and raspier than usually.  “I’m good.”  He took a breath and winced a little.

 

“Are you ok?” She asked quickly.

 

“Yeah, just my ribs.” He said with a light smile to her.  AJ looked at her and then he looked down, she frowned when he started cry and sat down beside him on the bed, the roll bar had been left down by one of the nurses.  She wasn’t sure if she should hug him, not wanting to put pressure on his chest.  So she took his hand but then he lifted her arm and gently pulled her into his arms. 

 

“I don’t remember what happened.” He said as he started to calm.  “I remember leaving my house but that’s it.”

 

Slowly Chelsea pulled away taking his hand in hers, she took a deep breath and looked at him.  “You were at a red light, some idiot was on his cell phone and hit you from behind, it pushed your car into the opposite traffic and you were hit on the driver’s side.”

 

“I got T-boned?” He asked quietly and all she could do was nod. “When did you get here?”

 

“Kevin called Anne that night then got us air tickets and I came right out here.” She told him as a tear dripped from her eye.  “That was about six days ago.”

 

“I’ve been out that long?” He asked a little shocked and again all she could do was nod.  “Are you ok, have you had any episodes or headaches?” He asked and she smiled at his concern.

 

“No, I’ve been keeping it together.” She told him with a small sigh.  “And like I said your Mom has been very helpful.”

 

“Really.” AJ said a little stunned.  Just then the door to his room opened and Denise came walking in, she smiled when she saw him.  Chelsea got up and let his Mom sit beside him.

 

“I’m going to call Kevin and let him know.” Chelsea said.  “All the guys are here.” She told him and he lightly smiled.

 

Chelsea folded her arms around her as she walked down the hallway and into the waiting room.  She stopped dead when she saw Kevin and Nick sitting in some chairs talking. 

 

“How long have you been here?” She asked as the two of them stood up.

 

“We just got here, is everything ok?” Kevin asked.

 

“Yeah, he woke up a few minutes ago, his Mom is with him right now, and I was coming here to call you.” She said and again as she said the words a weight left her shoulders.

 

“Can we see him?” Nick asked quickly.

 

“Yeah sure.” She said with a nod, she then followed them back down to AJ’s room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 12

 

 

 

 

“Well do you need anything before I go?” Denise asked AJ.

 

“Hand me my bag, I wanna see what Chelsea brought me.” He said as he held out his arm.

 

“When is she coming back?” Denise asked as she handed it too him.

 

“I told Kevin not to bring her back until she’s had a good amount of sleep and ate a meal.” AJ said as he unzipped the top part.  “Thank you.” He said as he looked at her.

 

“For what?” She asked a little confused.

 

“For being there for her when I couldn’t be and for not being mean to her.” He said as a small smile broke from his lips.  She smiled back at him knowing he was joking with her.

 

“I’m going to go now and, you’re welcome.” She said as she put her bag over his shoulder.  “I see what you two have now, I get it.” 

 

AJ lightly smiled at her as she left the room, her herself going to have a hot bath, and a long sleep, just as AJ had told Chelsea to do.  He returned his attention back to his bag and opened it fully. 

 

“Sweet.” AJ sighed as he pulled out the PJ bottoms, already tired of the drafty hospital gown.  He smiled when he pulled out his IPod and headphones, as he looked at the books at the bottom of the bag; he realized there was something in the small pocket.  Laying the bag on its side he pulled on the leather buckle and lifted the flap.  A different kind of smile came across his face when he saw it was his journal.

 

He opened the book and flipped through until he found the last page he had written on but when he came to it he notice there was writing on the other side.  He turned the page with a confused look until he saw the hand writing.

 

June 10th 2008

 

            It’s been two days since Kevin called the house and told Anne about the accident.  I miss you, you’re right here beside me but I miss you.  I can’t hug you, I can’t kiss you, and I hate that damn ventilator.  I wish I could talk to you, tell you how much I love you.  Kevin says you can hear us but I dunno.  I guess it’s kind of why I’m writing in here.  I need…something.  I just want to curl up in the corner of your room and just hide, but I can’t.  I don’t want them thinking I can’t handle this because they might not let me be here.  I’ve heard Kevin fighting with them when he thinks I’m napping.  Even now they still fight but I’m done fighting.  You, Alex are my life right now, it’s the only life I know and until I find mine you’re all I have, and I almost lost you two days ago.  That’s not happening again.  So let them say whatever they want to say, let them do whatever they want to do, because when you wake up it will be you and me. Whatever happens, happens, nothing is worse than being in that room alone, nothing. Well maybe the plane ride here.  I hope you wake up soon, love you.

 

Chels. 

 

He stared at her words for a moment or two, then as he closed the book over he wiped his eyes.  His fingers drifted down the dark leather cover but his thoughts were broken by his door opening. 

 

“I thought I said I wanted Chelsea to sleep.” AJ said when he saw Kevin walk in.

 

“She is, out cold when I left.” Kevin told him with a smile as he closed the door.

 

“Good.” AJ said quietly as he looked down at his journal.

 

“Figured I’d come and talk for a little bit, told Kris to page me when Chels woke up.” Kevin told him as he sat down.

 

“She’s been ok?” AJ asked as he looked at Kevin.

 

“You know I really don’t know, she seems ok, I gotta say I’m proud of her but…” Kevin stopped and AJ waited.

 

“But what?” He asked.

 

Kevin sighed and looked at AJ.  “Something inside of me is wondering if she’s on the verge, ya know, one more little thing and snap.”

 

“And your brothers?” AJ asked.

 

“My brothers are my brothers I don’t think they’re going to change their minds anytime soon.” Kevin sighed again. 

 

“I want her to come live with me.” AJ said as he tried to take a deep breath.

 

“Her as in Chelsea?” Kevin asked confused.

 

“Yes.” AJ replied and he couldn’t help but laugh a little.  “You’re right, one more thing and she could snap, and besides this…” AJ said waving his hand around the room.  “The only thing that causes her stress are those two.  If she lives with you they will show up at anytime, she would constantly worry about whether or not they would come by and make her go back.   If she’s with me, she can lock the door and crawl into bed and forget about them.  I am not going to let those two take away or ruined what I have wanted since the day you told me she was dead.”

 

 

 

“So what did the doctor say?” Kristin asked as she sat with Chelsea eating.

 

“His ribs are healing, and they said he’ll start therapy on his legs tomorrow.” She told her.

 

“What’s wrong with his legs?” Kristin asked.

 

“It’s his bad knee; I guess the one he injured on tour a few years ago.  It got pretty banged up, and they said that a lot of times people who have been in Coma’s kind of need to learn how to walk again, his legs are probably stiff.”  Chelsea said as the image of AJ flashed in her head.

 

“Have they said when he can go home?”

 

Chelsea finished the last of the food on her plate before she answered.  “They said probably next week.” 

 

“Well that’s good and you know you can stay here as long as you need to.” Kristin lightly smiled at her and Chelsea tried to return it.

 

“Hello?” Kevin shouted into the house.

 

“Finally” Chelsea sighed as she got up from the stool.  “What is that?” She said as she saw Kevin walking down the hall with a large colourful plastic, thing, in his hands.

 

“I dunno some dude in a Van was pulling in the same time I was.” Kevin said a little confused.  “I signed for them but they’re for you.”

 

“Me?” Chelsea said shocked as she looked at the bag in front of her.  Hesitantly she took it from him and walked into the kitchen.  Setting it down on the table she pulled open the wrapping and lightly gasped as she saw the dozen or so white Lily’s and a small envelop sitting on top of them.  Reaching in she pulled out the little note and opened it.

 

“To: You, From: Me.” Was the only thing written on the card but she knew what it meant, she knew he had read what she wrote and it made her smile through her tears.

 

“So are they from who I think they’re from?” Kevin asked as he walked into the kitchen.

 

“Yes” She answered with a smile.

 

“He’s a sneaky little thing.” Kevin sighed as he grabbed her a vase and filled it with water, wondering how he got the flowers to her so fast.

 

“I don’t mind.” She smiled as she pulled the flowers out and put them gently in the vase of water.

 

“Well I guess you’re ready to go then.” Kevin asked her.

 

“Let me put this in my room and then yep.” She said with a nod and it made Kevin laugh.  It was weird how the flowers had brightened her up.  As he waited for her to come back down he wondered what exactly AJ wrote on that card.

 

“You know you could learn a thing or two from him.” Kristin said as she walked up to him.

 

“Yeah I know you tell me…” A loud thud stopped his words dead and the screaming that followed made them both run up the stairs.  They ran into her room and stopped dead when they saw her on the floor, in a fetal position, holding her head.  Kevin quickly knelt down and picked her up, taking her over to the bed.

 

“Get me ice and a face cloth.” He said quickly to Kristin, she nodded and headed to the main bathroom and then ran downstairs.  “Chelsea, Chelsea look at me.” Kevin said as he tried to pull her hands away.  Her moaning was loud and she cried between each one.

 

“Here” Kristin said as she handed Kevin the cloth and ice packs, she started to turn out the lights, close the door and shut the curtains, and tried to make the room dark as possible.

 

“You need to calm down Chels, relax, it will pass.” Kevin said to her as he held the ice pack to her head.

 

“It hurts.” She whimpered.

 

“I know.” Kevin frowned as he looked at Kristin.

 

“Should I call Home Nurse?” Kristin asked talking about the emergency nurse line that would send a nurse if she needed one.

 

“No” Chelsea whimpered.  “They’ll tell me to stay here.”

 

“Well yeah.” Kevin said a little stunned.  “Wait, no Chels you can’t go to the hospital now, you need to relax.”

 

“I need Alex.” She moaned with a frown, her eyes fluttered and Kevin knew it wouldn’t be long until her body did the natural thing and made her go to sleep to rest.

 

“I’ll call Alex and let him know, he’d want you to rest.” Kevin said to her, she didn’t say anything she just lightly moaned.  He kept the ice to her head until she was fast asleep.  Kristin handed him a blanket from the closet and he put it over her.  Grabbing the cordless phone, he dropped the ice into the sink and dialed the hospital number.  He asked for AJ’s room and waited for him to pick up.

 

“Hey man it’s me.” Kevin said as he dried off his hands.  “Yeah, she got them.  I’m actually calling because before we left she got hit with one of her headaches, yeah, yeah man she’s fine now she’s sleeping, I’m sure she’s going to want to come down when she wakes up, so I just wanted to let you know we’ll be there later tonight.” He paused as AJ talked.  “Ok I will, I promise if she’s not feeling well I’ll make her stay.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 13

 

            AJ moaned as his head tossed to the left, his nightmare making him very uncomfortable.  His leg jerked, his head turned again and then it jolted him from his sleep.  He looked around quickly making sure he wasn’t in his car anymore.

 

“Hey.” Chelsea said and he looked at her shocked.  She sat down beside him on his bed, he was surprised to see her there, he was up earlier for breakfast and she wasn’t there.

 

“When did you get here?” He asked calming himself.

 

“An hour ago.” She said as she took his hand.

 

“How are you? Kevin called last night said you had an attack, I called this morning but he said you were still sleeping.”

 

“I’m ok now.” She replied with a light smile, her eyes drifted down to their hands.  He knew something was wrong, he wondered if it was the headache she had last night, and then he remembered his journal.

 

            “Come here.” He said as he lifted her arm and gently pulled her towards him.  He noticed she hesitated but she gave in and carefully slid beside him.  She rested her head on his shoulder and laid her arm gently on his stomach.  “Mmm, that’s better.” He sighed as his fingers drifted through her hair.  “Did you like your flowers?” He asked as he looked down at her.

 

“I did, thank you.” She said as she looked up at him.

 

“I think you were right about what you wrote in my journal.” He said as she sat up a little and looked at him.  “I think we need to decide where we want to go and the hell with everyone else.”

            “You do?” She asked.

 

“Yes and in fact I’ve already told Kevin that I want you to come live with me.” He told her and her eyes widen, he was shocked to see a small hint of relief or maybe even hope in them.  “With what you said in Kentucky, I want you to feel at home, safe, and normal.  If you stayed in Kentucky or even moved to Kevin’s those boys could just walk in at any minute, but at my place you can just let the bell ring and not think twice.”

 

“Alex are you sure?” She asked a little shocked he wanted to do this.

 

“I’m sure, as long as you want to.” He said as he brushed his fingers down her cheek.

 

“I want to I do, I want to get away and just have it be us for a while.” Chelsea said “I don’t ever want to feel like I’m losing you again.” She said as she started to cry.  AJ frowned and slowly sat up wrapping his arms around her.

 

“I’m ok now Chelsea.” He said as he held her letting her cry.  “I’m so proud of how strong you’ve been, it makes me feel better knowing that if something does happen you’ll be able to handle it.”  She pulled away and looked at him.  “Three months ago you wouldn’t have been able to handle this.” he lightly smiled as he brushed her tears away, he looked into her eyes, and then he leaned in and kissed her.

 

Their lips pulled apart but their foreheads remain touching.  “I love you Alex.”

 

“I love you to Chelsea.” He replied as his hand rested against her neck. “You think Anne will be ok with it, Kevin wasn’t so sure.”

 

“She will be, I think she’ll understand and Kev’s probably hesitant because of the drama it’ll cause with Tim and Gerald when they find out, plus what his Mom will say.” She tilted her head, thinking.  “She’ll understand.”

 

AJ smiled at her as he sat back easing the tension on his ribs, and it also eased the pain.  He motioned for her to lay back down and with a light grin she slid beside him again.  Closing his eyes AJ took in the moment, the smell of her hair, the way she held him, even if it wasn’t as tight as usual, and how he felt.  Before the accident he did have what some would say, second thoughts about him and Chelsea but he pushed them away, working and focusing what was best for her. Was it worth what it was putting her through, putting the Richardson’s through or even him?  Then he woke up with a tube down his throat, pain all over his body, and when he was ready to freak out, she was there.  He remembered her touching him, telling him not to touch the tube, telling him he would be ok.  He remembered how he felt when he woke up, fear, panic, the un knowing, and that was the feeling he hated the most but it went away when he saw her, he knew, as long as she was there he would be alright. 

 

“Hey Chels?” AJ said quietly.  When there was no answer he tilted his head to look down at her.  “Out cold.” He smiled and lightly kissed her forehead. Laying his head back against his pillow he closed his eyes and joined her.

 

           

 

June 14th 2009

 

            I’m awake and able to concentrate enough to write.  It’s been a wild week.  It’s hard to grasp the fact I almost fucking died, sometimes I think it was just a dream and then I look around.  I see the monitors, the wires and tubes coming from me, and I remember how it felt to wake up.  Not knowing what was going on, having this thing down my throat and then I saw her, like the Angel she use to be.  I guess it took mass head trauma to knock some sense into me but I get it now, want I want and she’s the only who can give it too me.

 

            I’ve talked to Kevin and I’ve even talked to Anne.  I told them both how I felt, that the way Tim and Jerald were acting was not good for Chelsea.  I told them I already talked to Chels about it and she wants to move too.  I don’t want her to have to worry about anything; I don’t want to worry about this shit anymore.  

His door opened and he looked up from his journal.  He frowned a little when he saw it was his Doctor and not Chelsea back from breakfast.  Closing the book he set it beside him as his doctor walked over too him.

 

“How would you feel about going home today?” The Doctor said as he sat down.

 

“Seriously Doc?” AJ said shocked.

 

“Your CAT scans came back and everything looks good.  I’ll send you down to the therapy room; you can do all the exercises at home. While you’re down there I’ll write up your papers and you should be able to leave when you get back.” The Doctor told him.  “But there are some rules we need to go over.”

 

“No problem.” AJ said nodding quickly.  He thought for sure he would be stuck here a few more days. 

 

The Doctor told him walking was to be as minimal as possible for the next week or so, do his exercises three times a day and refrain from going up and down the stairs, stay on the couch all day and go upstairs to sleep.

 

“No worries here.” AJ said with a smile when they had finished talking.

 

“Alright.” The doctor smiled.  “The nurse will come get you in a couple of minutes.”

 

AJ smiled and rubbed his hands together with excitement at the realization he would be going home.  Home to his bed, with no beeps, and no people walking or running by his door.  Right away he started packing up what he could.  He thought about writing in his journal some more but figured he’d save it for when he went home.  A smile broke across his face again.

 

“Home” He sighed.

 

 

 

“Are you sure you wanna stay down here?” Kevin asked as he helped AJ sit down on his couch.

 

“Yeah, I’ll go up when I want to crash, he said I could I just can’t go up and down.” He told his friend.

 

“We’re back!” Kristin shouted.

 

“Did you get everything?” Kevin asked as he walked out of the living room.

 

“Yep” Chelsea said as she dropped her bag on the floor.  “Where is he?’

 

“In the living room.” Kevin said with a nod.  She smiled at him and then headed down the hall.

 

“Have you talked to your Mom yet?” Kristin asked.

 

“Yeah, I talked to her when we were having lunch back at the house.” Kevin said.

 

“What did she say?” His wife asked as she wrapped her arms around his waste.

 

“She’s a little upset, I think it’s more that she couldn’t provide Chelsea someplace where she felt safe but she understands why their doing it and she hopes Chelsea can finally move on.”

 

 

“Do you need anything?” Chelsea asked as she sat down beside AJ on the couch.

 

“I’ve got everything I need right here.” He said with a smile as he wrapped his arm around her.  She lightly smiled as they both leaned in and kissed.

 

“Damn you two we haven’t even left yet.” Kevin said as him and Kristin walked into the living room.

 

“Well what are you waiting for?” AJ asked after they had pulled away. 

 

“We’re going.” Kevin said rolling his eyes as Chelsea stood up lightly laughing.  The two hugged and she walked them to the door.  “If you need anything call, if you have a headache call, if you…”

 

Chelsea interrupted him.  “I know I know…call, I’ll be fine.” 

 

She closed the door and locked it after Kevin and Kristin left.  Taking a deep breath she let everything sink in.  He was home, he was relaxing, and he was very much alive.  Walking down the hall she went into the living room and sat on the couch.

 

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

 

“Little stiff and sore in the chest, head still hurts a little, but either than that I’m good.” He said with a light smile.  “How are you doing?” He asked in return.

 

“I’m good.” She said with a light nod.

 

“Really? You’re not just saying that so I won’t worry?” He asked.

 

Chelsea lightly shook her head.   “No, I’m ok really, I’m here with you.”

 

AJ smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, gently pulling her closer to him.  She laid her head on his shoulder as he took her hand into his.  “So this is it, this is the point where we say good bye to all of the sounds, and all of the sites. We’ve both have had enough heartache to last us three lifetimes, this is the point where we move on, with or without them, and this is the point where we both become happy.”

 

“You and me.” Chelsea said with a light smile her lips drifted a feather width from his.

 

“It’s going to be hard.”  AJ told her their eyes locked onto each other.  “Tim and Jerald are going to keep pushing and not to mention the baggage that comes with me.”

 

“And like I said, I don’t care.  They want me to get a life, well I had one and it was taken away from me.” She told him.  “I spent thirteen years accepting that, that life was gone and then out of no where I get it back, nothing and I mean nothing will take it away from me again.”

 

“Well Doctors orders, I’m not going anywhere.” AJ joked and they both laughed.  When their laughter stopped they hugged.  “I love you Chelsea.” He lightly smiled as the words flowed from his mouth with no hesitation and no second guessing.

 

“I love you too.” She replied.

 

June 14th 2008

I’m home, no longer in that fucking room with the machines, no people running down the hall as I sleep.  It’s funny; I’ve wanted to get home, into my bed and sleep.  Without people running passed my room, coming into my room to check on me, and without the noise and the beeps of those fucking machines but I can’t sleep.  I get up and walk over to my closet, I look inside and beside my stuff is her stuff.  I look at my dresser and no longer do my sun glasses, jewelry and hats sit by themselves.  I stare at my bed and see her sleeping.  I still wonder if it’s a dream.  After everything I’ve been through, after all the people I hurt, what have I done I wonder, to deserve this second chance.  Why were my wishes and prayers answered?  I may never know but I won’t take it for granted.  Maybe I needed to go through everything so I could be ready for her.  Be the strong person she needed, that she still needs to help get her life back.  If you had asked me a year ago if I was that person, I would have told you no but now I know I am and I will be.  I don’t know what the future holds, maybe this time next year she won’t be sleeping next to me, maybe she will be, I don’t know, no one does. I try not to go there when I think about our future.  I’m just glad I can think and dream about a future for the two of us.  I’ve never wanted to protect someone so much, I’ve never wanted to love someone so much, and I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with her. Maybe this time next year I can say, “This is my wife, Chelsea.” I guess only the Sun, the Moon and the Stars truly know what lies ahead, but I know I’m ready for anything.

 

Alex.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 14

 

 

AJ sat in the back of the limo with Chelsea’s legs draped over his lap.  His hand lovingly slid up her inner thigh under her skirt but only going far enough to make her think he was going there and then he slithered his fingers back down.  They erotically flicked their tongues against each others as their lips caressed with tenderness.  They were in Kentucky for Kevin’s Birthday and everyone was there.  AJ had been out of the hospital for a few months and his health was back to normal; well accept for his knee, which aggravated him more now and then there are the nightmares. Jerald and Tim had gone from bitching to not saying anything at all. They had flown out yesterday and had a huge get together tonight at Kevin’s Kentucky home, now they were on their way from there to the hotel more specifically the room. Through out the entire party Tim and Jerald acted like Chelsea and AJ didn’t exist and it had been like that since she had everything moved from Kentucky to California a couple of months ago.

 

Their tongues retreated and their lips pulled apart. AJ’s eyes drifted as his fingers did the same along the top of her chest.  Her jacket hid the baby blue bustier but the lift it gave her chest tantalized him, the short pin skirt didn’t help much either.  “Did I tell you how fucking hot you look tonight?” He whispered as he teased her mouth with his and his hand slid back up her thigh. 

 

“A few times.” She whispered back with a soft sensual smile.

 

When the limo came to a stop the couple composed themselves and exited the car.  AJ took her hand in his and they walked into the hotel and straight to their room.  He dropped the key onto the dresser and kicked off his shoes, eyeing her as she walked towards the bed.  Making sure she didn’t remove a single piece of clothing without him he hurried over to her and wrapped his arm around her.  Her hair hung loosely around her neck and his fingers lightly brushed away a couple of strands so his lips could return to her skin.  Chelsea softly laughed as she reached behind her and ran her fingers through his hair.  Slowly he turned her around his lips tenderly pecking along her collar bone as he pulled her jacket out of the way.  His fingers trickled down and began unbuttoning the grey suit jacket.  Like a feather he dragged his lips up her neck and back to her lips as he gently dropped the jacket to the floor.

 

Drifting his fingers up her arms he gently wrapped his hands around her shoulders, then up to the sides of her neck, and then rolled her head back slowly as he guided his lips down her neck.  His tongue gently licked the dip between her collar bones and neck.  Her hands began to tug and pull at his shirt as his fingers unclasped the bustier.  He let his soft kisses tumble down between her breasts as her top began to loosen.  Letting the baby blue clothing fall to the floor as he slid his hand around her waist and grabbed her ass, he squeezed it as he pressed her lower body against his.  Returning his hands to her hips he unzipped her skirt and picked her up as it hit the floor.  She crawled backwards up the bed, the couple passionately kissed as AJ quickly undid his pants. 

 

Standing on his knees he lifted her leg and unbuckled her shoe and the switched to the other leg and did the same.  He let it hang loosely over his shoulder as he slowly leaned down and began kissing her stomach.  A soft moan broke from his lips as he kissed around her hip bone when her nails skimmed across the back of his neck.  As he traveled back up her body he slid the rest of her clothing off and laid between her legs.  He kissed along her neck and behind her ear as they both helped in taking his tight black pants off.  Their naked bodies entangled on top of the blankets as they kept their love making to a slow steady pace.  By the time the couple succumbed to their desires they both laid on top of the mattress sheet, the blankets near the bottom of the bed. 

 

Chelsea was on her stomach her left arm on top of her pillow her right arm under it as she slept soundly.  AJ lied awake on his side, the white sheet hung loosely around his waist and draped over hers.  He walked his fingers gently up the middle of her naked back as he kissed tenderly up her side.  She mumbled as the sensation started to wake her and he slipped his hand into his pillow case pulling out the item he hid in there before they even left for the party.

 

His lips caressed up to her shoulder and he whispered. “Chels” She mumbled as her eyes fluttered and he slowly rolled her over pressing her lips to his.  As she began to wake she started to kiss him back and then he pulled away, just a little.  He lowered them and brushed them past her ear as he whispered again.  “Chelsea?”  When she answered in a tired and semi groggy voice he spoke again.  “Marry me?” He asked his voice still sustaining a soft low tone and then his fingers slid down hers, slipping a white gold ring onto her left finger. 

 

Chelsea jolted up and looked at her hand.  The ring sat perfectly on top of her ring finger the emerald cut diamond sitting square in the middle.  She looked back at him as he slid closer, sitting up straighter and lightly kissed her shoulder, taking her hand.

 

“I don’t want anyone else, I don’t need anyone else I’m ready to start our lives together.” He told her as she still looked at him with mystified.  “So I’m asking you Chelsea Stanley, my best friend, my lover will you marry me and become my wife.”

 

“Yes, Yes Alex I will.” She replied with a smile through her tears.  AJ quietly cheered through his as he leaned in and kissed her.  He slowly fell back onto his pillows letting her climb on top of him and letting her intimately over take him.

 

When she collapsed with exhaustion on top of him AJ lied on his back, panting as he caught his breath.  Her lips brushed along his sweaty chest, searching finding their way back to his lips and he quietly sighed as her fingers tickled his beard.  Chelsea pulled her lips away slowly as AJ wrapped them in the blankets, their eyes locked and he adoringly smiled at her.

 

“Love you” He said as she laid her head down on his chest.

 

“Love you too.” She replied as she brought their hands up and laid them on his chest.  With his free hand he slid his fingers through her hair as he laid with her.  Closing his eyes he felt himself falling asleep and he rested his head against hers where he drifted off into dreamland.

 

 

 

            The next morning AJ woke up to Chelsea laughing.  His eyes fluttered opened and he looked over to her side of the bed, she was sitting on the edge in her robe talking on the phone.  Lying there not wanting to move and let her know he was awake, he listened and figured out she was talking to Kevin; he wondered if she told him.  AJ prowled over behind her and gently laid his lips against the back of her neck. 

 

            “Ok we’ll see you in a little bit.” She replied into the phone, then she said goodbye and hung up.

 

“Did you tell him?” AJ asked softly as he pulled the collar to her robe down and kissed her shoulder.

 

“No, figured we’d go over there.” She answered with a light smile tilting her neck as his lips skimmed up it.

 

“Breakfast? AJ asked as he looked at her and she replied with a nod.  AJ ordered room service and watched her get dressed. When he hung up the phone he got dressed himself. “So what did you want to do today besides go to Kev’s?” He asked as she walked passed him towards the bathroom.

 

“I’m not…” He waited but she said nothing else.

 

“You’re not what Chels?” He asked and as he said those words he heard her cry out from the bathroom and then he heard a crashing sound.  Quickly he jumped from the bed and ran into the bathroom; he knelt down beside her as she laid unconscious on the floor.  “Chels?” AJ called out to her but she didn’t responded.  He looked up and looked around realizing she must have had a migraine episode and hit her head as she fell.  In a flash he ran out of the bathroom and grabbed the hotel phone calling down to front desk for emergency service, knowing they would send up their first aid team and call 9-1-1 for him.  When he hung up he ran back into the bathroom, kneeling beside her again.  “Cheslea?” AJ spoke his voice filled with worry and fright.  “Come on darling wake up.”  He got up again when he heard a commotion outside his door, leaving the bathroom AJ opened his hotel room door to see the first aid people coming.

 

“She’s in the bathroom, she suffers from flash migraines, I think she had an attack and hit her head during it some how.” AJ told them as they walked through the door.

 

“What’s her name?” The woman asked him. 

 

“Chelsea” AJ told her. 

 

“Are you related?” The woman asked.

 

“Fiancée.” He replied.

 

She turned to Chelsea as she knelt down. “Chelsea can you hear me?”  There was a pause and silence.  “Do we have a pulse?”

 

“Yes.” The man replied.  “Checking pupils, the paramedics should be here soon.”

 

“Fuck Chels be ok…” AJ thought as he stared at her.  As the attendant shone over her eye she mumbled and his heart skipped a beat.

 

“Chelsea can you hear us?” The woman asked but Chelsea didn’t say anything as she reached for her head.  She started moaning in pain as the attendants tried to keep her calm.  AJ wanted to go to her but there really wasn’t any room.  His ears perked up when he heard something being rolled down the hall as the first aid attendants got the call the EMT’s were on their way up.  He opened the door wider and ushered them into the room.  They took over as the attendants backed away.

 

“We’re going to take her in, get her on a drip with some migraine medication and get some x-rays.” The paramedic told him after they moved her to their stretcher in the hallway. 

 

“Ok” AJ said as he closed the door to his room and tucked his key away. 

 

“A-Alex?” Chelsea mumbled as she reached for his arm. 

 

“I’m right here.” He said taking her hand and it seemed that was all she wanted.  With his phone in hand he speed dialed Kevin’s number and waited.

 

“On you’re way?” Kevin asked as he answered.

 

“Not exactly.” AJ said as he looked over at her.

 

“Migraine?” Kevin asked.

 

“Yeah and she hit her head as she fell.” AJ told him.

 

“Is she ok?” Kevin asked his voice filling with panic.

 

“She’s passed out, called down to front desk, she came too when the first aid guys  showed up and then the Ambulance came, they’re taking her in for a drip and take some x-rays.” AJ explained as Kevin listened.  “I’m with her now we’re on our way down, I’ll meet you there?”

 

“Yeah, yeah man we’re on our way.” Kevin told him and he said a quick goodbye.  They entered the Elevator and went out the emergency exit.  AJ climbed into the vehicle after the paramedic and took her hand back into his as he sat down.  He was relived to see by the time they got to the hospital she was semi coherent and talking a little more.

 

Sluggishly he sat in the chair beside her bed, he held gently onto her fingers as her hand hung over the side of the bed.  His head laid on its side, his eyes staring at her, watching her as she stared back at him.  The medication was making it better and it kept her from falling asleep until her x-rays.

 

“I’m going to go see if Kevin’s here.” AJ told her as he kissed the back of her hand.  “I’ll be back.” He said as she nodded. 

 

Leaving her small room in the ER he headed down towards the waiting room.  When he got there he was surprised to see more than just Kevin there.  Anne, Tim and Jerald were all there and then something unexpected happened; Jerald lunged at AJ and began cursing up a storm.  He jumped back, almost falling as Kevin grabbed his brother.

 

“Fiancée?!” Jerald yelled his face red and full of anger. “Over my dead body.”

 

“I said calm down!” Kevin shouted at him as he shoved him away.  “He probably just said it so he could stay with her.”

 

“No I didn’t.” AJ said as he stared at Jerald.  “I asked her last night at the hotel.”

 

“What?” Everyone in the room gasped.  Including Kevin as he spun back around.

 

“No” Jerald said shaking his head.  “No way, it is not happening.”

 

“Well thankfully it’s not up too you.” AJ snapped at him.

 

“She didn’t say anything this morning on the phone.” Kevin said as he held Jerald back again.

 

“We were going to tell you at when we came over.”

 

“Can I see her?” Anne asked.

 

“Yeah I’ll take you to her room.” AJ said as he started to walk Anne down the hall.  He could hear Jerald and Kevin yelling and if the two didn’t quiet down he wondered if they would be gone when he got back, getting kicked out or something.  “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you, I just decided I didn’t want to put you in that position, with Tim and Jerald, not sure how they would react to you knowing and all.”

 

“It’s ok Alex I understand.” Anne smiled at them.

 

“She’s in there; tell her I went for a coffee?” He told her as he pointed to her curtain.

 

“Sure” She smiled and walked into the room.

 

Chelsea lied in the bed as the curtain to her room opened and she turned her head expecting to see AJ walk in, instead it was Anne.  “Hi”

 

“Hello” Anne said as she sat down.  “How are you feeling?”

 

“Better” Chelsea replied. “Where’s Alex?”

 

“He went to get a coffee.” Anne told her with a small smile. “You caused quite a commotion with my sons.” Anne told her.

 

“I have?” Chelsea said confused.

 

“Let me see it.” Anne said as she motioned for Chelsea to show her the ring.  She lifted her hand and Anne leaned in looking at it.  “Simple yet stunning, just like you.” Anne smiled.  Chelsea blushed and smiled.

 

“How mad are they?” She asked her voice still a little weak.

 

“Pretty mad.” Anne sighed.  “Your Fiancée almost got hit.”

 

“By who?” She asked shocked.

 

“The eldest.” Anne sighed again.

 

“Figures. I’m sorry.” She frowned.

 

“Don’t be as long as it’s what you want and he makes you happy.” Anne told her.

 

“It is and he does.” Chelsea told her as she looked down at her ring.  “I just wish they could see that.”

 

“Someday they will.” Anne replied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 15

 

 

            “Just wait there.” AJ said to her as they walked into the hotel room.

 

“I can walk to the bed Alex.” Chelsea lightly laughed as she started to make her way over.  “You’re cute when you worry.” She smiled as she sat down on the edge and shifted up to her pillows.

 

“Well then I must have been adorable this morning.” He mumbled as he sat his stuff down.  “These migraines aren’t going away Chels and they’re becoming more random which is starting to scare me because you could be anywhere and have one hit, or have something like this morning happen and no one will be there.” He told her as he walked over to the bed.

 

“They can’t find anything.” She replied as he laid on his side beside her.

 

“And that’s another thing that terrifies me…why can’t they find anything? Obviously something is happening so, what the hell is going on?”

 

“I know it’s scary I’m the one that goes through them and maybe they are becoming more random and maybe they’re not going away but I’m having them far less then when I first started getting them.” She told him.  Chelsea tucked her arm under him and he slid in close beside her and burrowed his head between her neck and shoulder.  Her fingers glided through his hair as he played with her ring.

 

“So what is this I hear about Jerald almost hitting you?” She asked changing the subject.

 

“Almost, way to slow though.” AJ joked with her.

 

“So he did try and hit you.”

 

“Yeah but now he’s back to not talking and I’m ok, so don’t worry about it.” He told her as he looked up into her eyes.  “And besides, Anne approves, so screw them.”  She laughed at the look on his face, her hand gently drifted down his check.

 

“I never got a chance to tell you this morning how wonderful last night was.” Chelsea told him as he sat up on his side.  “Even though I can’t really tell everyone how you asked me.” She smiled with a smirk on her lips.  “I like that.”

 

“You do?” He asked.

 

“Yeah,” She nodded.  “Kind of like when we were younger and the secret we kept.”  AJ lightly smiled at her and leaned down tenderly kissing her.  “What do you think your Mom will say?”

 

“She’s ecstatic.” AJ smiled.  “Already told her, I knew there wouldn’t be any drama there since you’re her new best friend.”

 

“Well almost loosing someone we both love very much brought us closer.” She told him as her finger danced around his skullirose tattoo.

 

“What happened to Kevin?” AJ asked as he looked at her confused.

 

Chelsea rolled her eyes and gave him a light smack on the arm.  “Shut up.” She sighed and giggled at his joke.  Her laugh made him laugh glad to see her in a much more up beat mood since this morning.

 

There was a knock at the door and AJ crawled from the bed confused on who it could be.  He looked through the peep hole and saw Kevin and Kristin on the other side.  Opening the door he invited the couple in and then went back over to the bed.

 

“What’s up?” He asked as he sat down.

 

“Just came by to see how you’re doing.” Kevin said nodding to Chelsea.

 

“I’m better.” She lightly smiled at him.

 

“Are you hungry we could go grab something?” Kevin asked.

 

“No thanks, I’d just rather stay here and relax.” Chelsea told him.

 

“You should really eat something then.” AJ told her as he looked back at her.  “I can go downstairs and grab you something.”

 

“Sure as long as I don’t have to leave.” She told him.

 

“I’ll go with you.” Kevin said and the two left the room.  “So how is she really?” Kevin asked as they stood at the elevators.

 

“She’s fine Kev really; think she’s just pissed about Jerald and me.” AJ told him

 

“I can’t believe he went at you like that?”  Kevin replied shaking his head.

 

“I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.” AJ shrugged.

 

“So you asked her last night, where did you go after the party?” Kevin asked as they walked onto the elevator.

 

“Back to the hotel, we had a nice quiet night and I asked her.”

 

“How long you been planning this?” His band mate asked.

 

“A few weeks, went out and found a ring a couple of weeks ago, and decided I’d know when the time was right.” AJ told him as they headed to the first floor.

 

“And I guess that was last night?” Kevin said looking at him with a sly smile.  AJ nodded and Kevin knew he had something on his tongue but wasn’t saying anything.  “So how did you ask her? Were you in your room or down at the restaurant?” He asked.

 

“In our room.” AJ answered as the elevator stopped on the bottom floor

 

“And?” Kevin said wanting to know more as he followed AJ off.

 

“And it’s kind of private so we’re keeping it to ourselves.”

 

“Is that what your gonna tell your Mom when she asked?” Kevin said jokingly.

 

“Can’t really tell Mom either.” AJ said as they walked into the restaurant.

 

“You can’t?” Kevin replied a little befuddled look on his face.

 

“Like I said, it was private.” He told him as they stopped at the bar to order food.

 

“Now see that makes me want to know but the fact that it involves Chelsea, the woman who is like my sister? Yeah I don’t need to know now.” Kevin nodded.   “I’m glad it was special for her, after everything she’s had taken away she deserves you and you deserve her too.”

 

“She knows who I use to be so she understands what I have become.” AJ said as he looked at Kevin, his friend smiled at him.

 

“Well I’m happy for the two of you.” Kevin told him as he put his hand on AJ’s shoulder.  “I know you love her very much and you’ll take good care of her, you already do.”

 

“Thanks Kev, means a lot.” AJ smiled as he walked off the elevator.  “Just wish I could have talked to your Mom first, but I didn’t want to involve her, put her in that position and after the way Jerald acted I’m really glad I didn’t.”

 

“Honestly I’m glad too.” Kevin sighed.

 

 

“God Chelsea that ring is so pretty.” Kristin said as she looked at it again.  “It’s so not him.”

 

“What do you mean?” Chelsea asked with a laugh.

 

“I dunno when I thought about AJ asking you I always pictures this big huge ring, you should of seen the one he got Sarah Jo.” Kristin replied raising her eyebrows.

 

“He didn’t get that one for her.” Chelsea smiled and Kristin looked at her confused.  “The one he gave her, she thought it was too small, so they went back and that’s the one she picked out.”

 

“That does sound like something she would do.” Kristin replied.

 

“But I love mine, so I’m not changing it.” Chelsea smiled as she held out her hand.

 

“You would have been happy with a twist tie.” Kristin giggled.

 

“Ok, I’m not that bad.” Chelsea said rolling her eyes.

 

“So how did he ask you, where did he ask you?” Kristin inquired with slight excitement.

 

“Well I can’t say it’s private.” Chelsea replied.

 

“Private?” Kristin said confused. 

 

“Private.” Chelsea said eyeing her. 

 

“Oh” Kevin’s wife said raising an eyebrow.  “Interesting.” She nodded.  “Now I kind of wanna know.”

 

“Kris.” Chelsea said rolling her eyes.

 

“Please between AJ’s mouth and touring…” Kristin shot jokingly at her.  “Leave it to Alex to do an erotic proposal.”

 

“It wasn’t erotic.” Chelsea said quickly.  “It wasn’t like we were in the middle of it when he asked.” She rolled her eyes.  “It was after.” She added quickly.  “And I’m not saying anymore.”

 

“Fine” Kristin replied.  “Well Kevin and I will be there.”

 

“I hope so; I want you to be my maid of honor, I mean when ever it happens.” Chelsea told her.

 

“Really?” Kristin replied a little surprised.

 

“Well if I consider those three my brothers I certainly consider you my sister.” Chelsea told her. 

 

“Food’s here.” Kevin shouted into the room as him and AJ walked in.

 

The couple sat at the table eating and talking, they talked about what happen in the Bathroom that morning and what the doctors said in the hospital.  They didn’t talk about what happened in the waiting room or how the two men reacted to the news of AJ and Chelsea.  Kevin and Kristin stayed for a while longer after they ate and talked about what they would do tomorrow before Chelsea and AJ went home.  By the time the two left it was late in the evening later than Chelsea wanted to be up, it didn’t help that the pills she took knocked her out.

 

“Hey” AJ lovingly whispered kneeling beside the bed. She mumbled as he eyes opened.  Don’t you want to change first?”

 

“To tired.” She whimpered tiredly.

 

“Come on, I’ll help ya,” He replied as he stood up and went to her bag, she moaned as she began to take off her shirt and he sat down beside her handing her the PJ top. His finger slipped under her bra strap and he slowly pulled it down as his lips followed behind. 

 

“Alex.” She mumbled as she turned her head and looked at him.  “Doctor said at least two days.”

 

“I know.” He muttered back after his kisses left her back shoulder.  His fingers snapped and unclipped the back of her bra.  He helped her dress into the PJ tank top and bottoms and then changed himself as she slid under the covers.  By the time AJ had crawled into bed she was fast asleep, with only the night lamp on beside him AJ opened his journal.

 

 

October 4th 2008.

 

            It’s been a couple of days since I’ve written in here, I’ve been busy.  I asked Chelsea to marry me and she said yes.  I’m fucking dancing on the ceiling well I was until this morning.  She had another attack and this time she hit her head, knocked her out cold, she went to the hospital and everything, hopefully she’s fine now.  I hate them and every time she has one I hate them more.  I’m scared, really, really scared there’s something more too them. I’m trying not to dwell on it especially now that we’re engaged…wow engaged…I know there are people out there who think that word meant nothing to me by now or ever did but it did and it does. That’s why when it came down to it, the weddings didn’t happened.  It needs to work, I don’t want to end up like my Mom and Dad, I don’t want to become my Dad, I want a family, my family and I know with her it’ll happen.  Her reaction was priceless the way she shot up, never seen anyone sit up that fast. 

 

            So what lies ahead? Well the tour starts up again soon, Nurse will be there so if anything happens which I don’t think it will but if it does, there’s someone there, I think I’m ready to go again, and Chels is coming with too.  Then Christmas and more touring to make up for time loss, oh and I’m sure some wedding planning in between.  One thing I know, I’m going to find out what’s causing her these migraines, and I need to get her into some hard core specialist, if there’s any out there.  Till tomorrow, or whenever.

 

Alex.

                                             Chapter 16

 

 

            AJ sat on the couch of the hotel room in a little bit of astonishment, Chelsea had just finished screaming at him.  He told her he found a place in Chicago where they have a new CAT scan machine that concentrates more on the nerves of the brain.  They had been on tour for a couple of weeks now and we’re going to be there in a few days. 

 

“Chelsea, it was just a suggestion.” He said still a little frazzled.

 

“Well I don’t need your damn suggestions.” She shot back and disappeared into the bathroom behind the slamming door.

 

“What the fuck.” He said to himself staring at the bathroom.  Standing up from the couch he walked over to the door and knocked on it.  “What the hell is your problem?”

 

“My problem?!” She shouted from behind it, then it swung open and she stood staring at him.  “My problem is people won’t stay out of my business, that’s my problem!”  Chelsea stormed passed him.  “It’s bad enough I got Tim and Jerald hiring doctors behind my back now you are too?”

“I didn’t hire anyone.” AJ told her.  “And if you’d calm the fuck down…”

 

“Don’t swear at me!” She snapped back.

 

“Well then chill out!” He shouted back.  “All I said was it’s something you should think about or at least check out when we go, sorry for caring.” He replied bitterly.  “I’m gonna go for coffee I’ll be back later, hopefully by then you will have calmed down.”

 

His bodyguard tagged along and they made their way down to a local coffee shop.  He thought he better get her a hot chocolate, if anything it would hopefully make her feel better.  Getting Marcus to hold Chelsea’s drink as they walked down the street towards the hotel, AJ lit a smoke and puffed on it as they walked back.  When he got to his room he carefully balanced the cup on top of each other as he slid his keycard through the door and opened it.  He walked in and saw her sitting on the couch.  Putting his key and wallet down on the table he walked over to her and sat down beside her.

 

“Here.” He said as he handed her the cup sitting down.

 

“Thanks.” She said quietly as she took the paper cup from him.  He set his down on the small table in front of them and pulled back the lid, he then picked it up and took a sip.  “I’m sorry.”

 

AJ looked at her as he set the cup down; she was playing with the plastic lid, staring at it.  “I didn’t do this behind your back; I just thought it was something we could check out, I’m sorry for swearing at you, I know you don’t like it but you just started screaming at me.”

 

“I know I’m sorry.” She replied still staring at her cup. Reaching for her hot chocolate as he slid over to her, he set it down on the table and took her hands.

 

“What is it Chels, what made you snap like that?” He asked.

 

“It’s Jerald.” She said quietly.

 

AJ sighed, trying to hide the anger that started to rise in him.  “What now?”

 

“He stopped talking to Kevin because he’s supporting us getting married.” She told him and he could tell she was fighting back her tears.

 

“What about Anne?”

 

“He’s still talking to her, for now.” She replied.  “I’m tired of him thinking he knows what’s best for me and when you started talking about Chicago, I lost it and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

 

AJ lifted her legs which were curled under her and draped them over his.  He slipped his hands behind her, sliding them across her back as hers did the same.  “It’s ok.”  She laid the side of her head on his shoulder as her hands wrapped around his shoulders and she held onto him tightly.  “I wish there was something I could do, I don’t want you worried or stressing about him, you’ve got more important things to think of.” He said as they slowly pulled away and she lightly smiled as she quickly entertained the thought of her wedding day.

 

“Will that help get him off your mind, wanna talk about wedding stuff? We still got an hour before we need to leave for the venue.” He asked as he brushed her hair off her shoulder.

 

“I’m fine.” She lightly smiled.  “As long as you’re not mad at me anymore.”

 

“I’m not” He replied as she embraced him again but there was something different about this embrace, something a little erotic.  Then he felt her lips press pleasingly against his neck.

 

“Are you sure?” She quietly asked as they drifted behind his ear.

 

“Very” He replied his voice quaked a little as he closed his eyes and tilted his head.  A sigh broke from his lips when her lips trapped his earlobe and she gently sucked on it.  His eyes opened as he felt his ear slip from her mouth and she slowly sat back up.  Her fingers skimmed down and up his jaw line, which was covered in facial hair and her eyes watched dotingly.

 

“Do you remember our first time?” She softly asked as her eyes drifted to his.

 

“Yes, it started out a lot like this if I remember correctly.” He said as they cuddled on the couch.  “I think…” He began to speak as he leaned towards her.  “It started with a kiss.” He snagged her lips with his, their mouths opening slightly and their tongues yearned to touch each others.  Her fingers tenderly sagged down his neck as his hand slid up the side of her arm. When their mouths opened a little wider their tongues escaped and slithered around each other as the couple slowly laid on the couch.  Then like on cue, like it happened back then, Chelsea took AJ’s hand as it gently grasped her breast, and leisurely slid it down her body.  A small erotic smile escaped his lips as he kissed her remembering what came next.  He unbuttoned her pants and slithered his hand into them. 

 

When a soft erotic moan eluded from her lips as they parted AJ opened his eyes watching her for a moment, and then his eyes drifted her neck, followed by his lips.  The motion of her hips were infectious and caused him to rock his lower body against her, she felt his erection against her leg through his pants and slowly turned herself to face him.  Reaching for his belt she unbuckled it and unzipped his pants.  Her hand slipped inside and as her fingers wrapped around him, he returned his lips to hers. 

 

It was like déjà vu as the couple laid on the couch fondling each other like high school kids and maybe in their minds right now they were, reliving a moment that happened long ago.  AJ moaned pulling his lips from her but kept them a feather width away.  He stared at her as she looked back at him her eyes full of lust.  Pulling his hand from her pants as she continued to slowly twist her hand around in his pants, he pulled hers off and then worked on his.  She wrapped her leg around him tighter and guided him into her.  He pulled her lower body against him as he rolled her onto her back, making sure they stayed in the middle of the couch, it went a little smoother than the first time.  Chelsea folded her arms around him as their lower bodies pulsated against each other.  Her back arched as a soft cry escaped her lips and he slipped his arm under her.  Holding himself up with his other arm, sweat starting to gather on his forehead, he watched her, watched her body as she reacted to him.  She grabbed the arm of the couch, clutching it tight as her body tensed and began to tremble around him.  Chelsea whimpered his name as he lowered himself down, resting his head beside hers and brought her moans closer to his ear.  As she tightened around him he hit his peak, his body began to quiver and he moaned telling her how she felt. 

 

They laid in the same spot not moving as their lungs struggled for air and their body tried to find a calm.  Slowly he lifted his upper body up, his lips sluggishly drifting along her neck, over her chin to her lips.  “I love you.” She whispered her breathing still deep and staggered as she hazily smiled at him, her right arm slipping from his shoulder. 

 

“Ok, don’t remember it being quite like that.” He muttered as her fingers lovingly raked through his hair.  She smiled at the comment.  When he started to get up she stopped him.

 

“Stay.” She whispered before her lips took his and she kissed him with delight.  His hand slipped down her thigh as he pulled her leg against him.  Her tongue interweaved with his and he squeezed her leg as she moaned pleasingly in his mouth.

 

A loud banging on their hotel room door sent both flying from the couch and they ran around the room like chickens with their heads cut off as they scrambled for their clothes.  They soon found out thirteen years and their knack for dressing on the fly hadn’t wane at all.  AJ stood at the door in seconds, breathless, and double checking his pants were on.  He looked back and saw Chelsea sitting down on the couch and then opened the door.

 

His feelings went from panic to anger when he saw Nick standing at the door, his face red, his breath none as he laughed in front of AJ.  “Did I disturb you?” Nick asked as he gasped for a breath.

 

“What do you want?” AJ asked controlling his anger knowing now Nick probably heard them and waited for the right moment.

 

“We’re going in like fifteen minutes, thought I’d come and let you know.” He then looked back at Chelsea and then to AJ.  “But looks like one of you already…”

 

“Don’t finish that sentence or you’ll be singing Howie’s parts tonight.” AJ gritted through his teeth.  Nick didn’t say anything as he giggled mischievously walking away and he closed the door with a sigh.

 

“This…” AJ said as he pointed back at the door.  “This is why I miss Kevin.” He sighed as he sat down beside her.  “Are you ready to go?” He asked her as she giggled.

 

“Yeah” She replied as she stood up.  AJ gathered up his key and wallet as Chelsea waited with the door open.  When he walked beside her, her wrapped his arm around her back and led her out of the room.  The door automatically locked behind them as they met with the others in the hallway.  “Can I see your phone for a second?” She asked AJ as he talked to Howie.

 

“Sure” He replied as he pulled it from his sweater and handed it too her.  “Checking in?” He asked jokingly meaning she was calling Kevin before he called and bugged her. 

 

“Yeah” She smiled as she gave herself some privacy.

 

“Hello?” Kevin said into the phone after the third ring.

 

“Hi, it’s Chels.” She greeted him.

 

“Hey sis are you ok?” He asked.

 

Yeah I’m fine, actually I kind of need some advice?”

 

“About AJ?” Kevin replied and she could hear his smile.

 

“Actually it’s about Nick.” She spoke as she looked over at the blonde hair man.

 

“…Nick?” Kevin said confused.

 

“Yeah he’s being an ass.” Chelsea sighed.

 

“Oooh Nick” Kevin repeated a little relieved.

 

“Yeah…what did you think I meant?” She paused and thought about it.  “Geez Kev thanks.”

 

“No, No Chels I didn’t mean it like that just confused me.” Kevin said trying to recover.

 

“Mmmhmm.” She muttered into the phone, she wasn’t mad at him she was just going to make him sweat a little. “Anyways can you help me out?”

 

“How?” He asked.

 

“Something a bit more annoying than three in the morning phone calls.” She replied with a sinister smile on her face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 17

 

 

            AJ sat on the couch in the guys green room waiting for their show to start.  Chelsea sat between his legs, leaning back against him, her head resting on the couch and his shoulder, his arms wrapped around the front of her as their fingers tangled between each others.  They could hear the crowd getting restless waiting for the guys to come on after their opening act.  When their manager came in AJ got up, gave her a kiss and then left the room with the guys.

 

“We’re going to grab something to eat, coming?” Leigh Anne asked Chelsea.

 

“Nope I’m good, going play some Tetris.” She smiled waving AJ’s phone.  Howie’s wife and Brian’s wife left the room and left Chelsea alone.  Waiting patiently she played a couple of rounds of the puzzle game and then made her move.  Grabbing her bag, leaving the green room, Chelsea walked down the backstage halls and snuck behind some curtains. She entered a small room behind the stage and looked around as the pounding bass hit her chest.  Looking, she eyed the shoes that were on the ground.

 

“Big feet, big feet, haha, here they are.” She said as she walked over to Nick’s shoes.  Quickly she knelt down as she opened her small backpack and reached in.  Chelsea giggled as she pulled out a tub of Vaseline. “Oldest trick in the book but he won’t see it coming.” She lightly sung as she scooped a glob up and stuffed it carefully into the end of the shoe.  Doing the same to the other one, not sure which pair he was actually going to wear next she decided to do the rest of them too. Chelsea smiled proudly at herself as she put the jar back into her bag and left the small backstage changing room.  When she got back to the green room she walked into the bathroom and began to scrub her hands.  One thing about Vaseline it was a bitch to get off.

 

When she returned to the couch her hands still felt greasy.  She sat quietly, patiently, and let the time roll by.  Chelsea lied on the couch listening to her music when the door to the green room opened and Leigh Anne and Leigh B walked in, she lightly smiled giving them a wave and went back to her music.  When the door opened again she saw Brian walk in, then Howie, then Nick and then Alex.  Nick walked right into the bathroom, his shoes in his hands as he hit the tiled floor with his greasy Vaseline feet they slipped but Nick grabbed the wall stopping himself. He shot her a look but she was ready for it and looked at him confused.

 

“What’s up with him?” Chelsea asked sitting up as she pulled out her ear buds.

 

“Like you don’t know?” AJ said smiling at her as he sat down beside her.

 

“You…should follow him in there.” Chelsea said to AJ joking at his sweaty smell. 

 

“Awwww am I too sweaty for you?” AJ said as he wrapped his arms around her and she squirmed to get away.

 

“Did you talk to her?” Nick yelled from the bathroom.

 

“Ugh” AJ moaned rolling his eyes.  “Why did you put Vaseline in Nick’s shoes?”

 

“What?” Chelsea said putting on her best acting role.  “I’ve been here, playing Tetris and listening to music.”

 

“Chels.” AJ sighed.

 

“My ass you were.” Nick said as his head popped out.  “All of them Chelsea? Seriously those are my stage shoes; I have to wear them, ALL OF THEM!!” He yelled and then disappeared as Howie began to giggle under his breath.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Nick, I’ve been right here.” Chelsea said back to him.

 

“It’s War!!” Nick shouted.

 

“Oh no it’s not, you can’t start a prank war there’s no proof it was her.” Brian shouted quickly. “Kevin may not be here but the rules stick.”

 

“Oh, I’ll get my proof.” Nick grunted as he walked out of the bathroom.  “And when I do you won’t be able to hide behind him or Kevin.” Nick said pointing to AJ.

 

“Uh no leave me out of it.” AJ said shaking his finger at Nick.  The blonde member of the band said nothing more as he left the green room. When the door closed everyone looked at her.

 

“Nice one Chels.” Howie smiled.

 

“Well played.” Brian nodded.  “Went old school on him.”

 

“I swear guys it wasn’t me.” Chelsea said looking at them. 

 

“You don’t need to lie Chels we’re all friends here.” Howie said smiling as he packed his things up.

 

“A magician never reveals their secrets so she ain’t gonna budge.” Brian sighed.  “But I warn ya, it’s going to get ugly.” He told her before him and Leigh Anne walked out the door.

 

“So are you hungry?” She asked AJ knowing the answer.

 

“Starving.” He sighed.  “Order when we get back to the hotel?”

 

“Sure.” She replied as they walked out of the green room and headed to the van.

 

“So tell me it was you wasn’t it?” AJ asked.

 

“Pfft, who else would it have been?” Chelsea smiled at him.  AJ laughed as he wrapped his arm around her back.

 

“It leaked into my socks, my toes are all greasy, damn it.” Chelsea heard Nick yell as she climbed in.  “I had to wear those on stage you know, you know how hard it is dancing with Vaseline in your shoes!?” Nick squeeled.  “Kevin put you up to it didn’t he?”

 

“What makes you think it was me anyways? What proof do you have?” Chelsea asked looking behind her.

 

“You’re marrying AJ that proves you’re not mentally stable.” Nick replied looking at AJ

 

“Hey” AJ pouted looking back at Nick. 

 

“You’re so paranoid.” Chelsea rolled her eyes.

 

“PARANOID, you put Vaseline in my shoes!!” Nick yelled.

 

“It wasn’t me” Chelsea said calmly as the entire van was already laughing.

 

“Oh my gawd!” Nick growled in frustration that she just wouldn’t admit it. Chelsea shook her head but she was dancing on the inside at her first victory.  When they got back to the hotel the couple went right to their room and closed to door as Nick bitched his way down the hall.  AJ took a shower while Chelsea ordered them food.  They sat and ate and quietly discussed how Chelsea pulled of the shoe prank.  After the food was gone and cleared from the room they got dressed or undressed for bed.  Both of them far to tired after a long day for anything fun.

 

 

 

            The next morning AJ was woken by the hotel room phone ringing.  Lying on his stomach he tucked his arms under him and sat up, sluggishly he reached for the receiver almost dropping it on the floor and answered the call.

 

“I swear Nick if this is you I’m kicking your…”

           

“Good Morning this is you’re wake up call as per ordered…” The automated voice said after it kicked in.  AJ hung the receiver up and moaned as he buried his head into his pillow.

 

“Is it time to get up already?” Chelsea mumbled from beside him.

 

“Yeah” He yawned.  “But at least we can crash on the bus.”

 

“Do we have to share one with Nick?” She asked.

 

“No, not this time, Leigh-Anne’s going home this morning so Brian’s staying on that bus.

 

“Damn.” She sighed sitting up.

 

“I know put a kink in your plans huh?” AJ smiled as he sat up.

 

“No biggy, didn’t have anything planned for a day or two anyways, adds to the paranoia.” She smiled.

 

“Remind me never to prank you.” AJ sighed as he tossed the covers from himself and climbed out of bed.  She watched him adoringly as his naked body disappeared into the bathroom.  Playing with her ring she looked down at it and softly smiled and when AJ walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans that hung low around his waist.

 

“Have you thought about when?” She asked as he lifted up his bag.

 

He looked up at her “When what?”

 

“When you want to get married?”

 

“I dunno.” He said reaching into his bag.  “Next summer, next fall or next year.” He told her as he pulled a T-shirt out.  “But it depends on where you wanna have it too, cause if it’s in Kentucky, then Summer but if we have in Cali, then whenever.”  He put his T-shirt over his head and lightly tucked it in.  “Have you thought about where?” He asked as he crawled close to her on the bed.

 

“Maybe in the blue grass fields behind the house.” She told him.

 

“I was thinking there too.” He said as he lightly kissed her cheek.

 

“Really? You don’t think its tacky cause of Kevin and Kristin?” she replied as he kissed her neck.

 

He kissed her neck again. “No, they got married at...umm...”He stopped and pulled away, a look on his face that meant I’m thinking.  “Cathedral Domain, that’s the name.” AJ replied remembering and then went back to kissing her neck. Chelsea chuckled as he laid her back onto the pillows and then brought his lips to her kissing her lovingly.  When he let go of her lips his eyes locked onto hers.

 

“What?” She asked softly.

 

“I can’t believe I’m marrying you.” He told her.  “I thought I’d lost you forever.” Chelsea frowned and laid her hand on the side of his face.  She lifted her head and brought her lips to his and kissed him.  AJ sighed as he let his body relax on top of her, letting one arm slide under her neck as her hand slipped from his face and drifted to his back.

 

A knock at the door broke the two apart. AJ groaned as he got up from the bed and headed to the door.  “Yes?” He asked looking at Brian on the other side.

 

“We’re starting to pack up if you guys are up and ready.” Brian told him.

 

“Yeah, we’ll be out in like ten minutes.” AJ replied.  When he turned around he pouted as the door closed behind him to see Chelsea getting dressed. 

 

“Are you sure you have everything?” She asked giving him a light smile at his sulky attitude. 

 

“Yes, but I’ll double check right now.”

 

With everything in order and all their bags collected in the hall, AJ put on his wool hat, sunglass and zip up hoody.  Taking one last look around the room before he left he shut the door and it locked on its own. 

 

“Here.” Chelsea said handing him her keycard.  He kissed her quickly and then walked over to the manager giving him the keys.

 

“He’s already down on the bus, he doesn’t want to talk to you.” Brian said chuckling as AJ walked up to him and Chelsea.

 

“Baby” She replied rolling her eyes.

 

“Just let me know ahead of time on your next attack, I gotta share a bus with him.” Brian sighed.  “Don’t make me collateral damage, please.”

 

“I’ll try” Chelsea said smiling.

 

“Sorry dude but I don’t even think I’m safe in this one.” AJ said to Brian as he put his hand on his friends shoulder.

 

“What did he do to piss you off?” Brian asked with a light laugh.

 

“He knows what he did and that’s all that matters.” Chelsea replied as they walked into the elevators.

 

 

 

 

 

>

                                             Chapter 18

 

 

            The music flowed in his ears, the small soft white lights hung around the trees and white daisies with baby breath hung from the lines, lighting the field of blue grass and trees around them.  His head rested against hers as they slowly danced in one spot.  Their hands clenched together against his chest, his other hand lying on the bottom of her back as he held her close to him.  The image of Chelsea in her wedding dress floated through his mind and he smiled.  She wore an A line, white, strapless, Tulle dress with a dropped waistline.  Her veil hung loosely down her head it reminded him of a veil that maid Marion would wear.

 

“Alex?” He heard her whisper and he lightly smiled.

 

“Yes darling?”

 

“Alex?” She repeated but this time he heard a whimper in her voice.  Then her hand squeezed his hand tightly and he felt her slipping in his arms.  Quickly he wrapped his arm tighter around her and stopped her as he looked down.

 

“Chels?” He asked as he looked at her, her face was buried in his chest, her hands grabbed the front of his tux and he felt her pulling on it, pressing her head harder against him as she wailed in pain. 

 

“Chelsea” He gasped breathless his voice scared and panic.  Suddenly he wasn’t in the blue grass fields anymore but in the back bedroom of their tour bus.  A little breathless from the scare he just had, he took a deep breath and that’s when he heard her moving.

 

“Alex, are you alright?” She asked tired and groggy.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, go back to sleep babe.” He said before he lightly kissed her and watched her lay back down.  She fell back to sleep pretty quick and after a couple of minutes he got up from the bed, grabbing his robe and Journal.  Wrapping his robe around him he opened the door and walked down the very small hallway.  He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of juice, sitting down with it at the small booth.  With his head in his left hand, elbow on the table he stared at the surface, recalling the dream that had woke him.  It confused him a little, starting out so wonderfully and then turning into a very frightening nightmare.  He could hear her screaming, almost feeling how tight she had grabbed onto him and the panic and helpless feeling he had in the dream remained with him out of it.

 

His heart went into his throat and he fought back the tears that rushed into his eyes but only for a moment.  Grabbing his journal he opened it and pulled the pen from the middle.

 

 

 

October 12th 2008

            I don’t know what to do.  I can protect her from Tim and Jerald, I can protect her from my Mom but I can’t protect her from these damn headaches.  It worries me and I hate worrying, I hate feeling anxious, I hate the unknown.  I don’t know if I can keep pretending they don’t bother me, I don’t want to upset her and I defiantly don’t want to pressure her but I’m scared.  I don’t want to be scared because when I’m scared I run.  I don’t wanna run from her.  No, fuck that I can’t run from her…but I just dunno what to do…

 

“Everything ok Alex?” Chelsea asked and it scared him a little.  Quickly he looked up and saw her standing by the booth. 

 

“Thought you were sleeping?” He asked as she slid into the booth beside him.  “I’m fine.” He told her, closing his journal.  “Just a nightmare.”

 

“About the accident again?” She asked as she watched him wipe his eyes.

 

“No, just a regular old nightmare.” He replied with a light smile.

 

“Wanna talk about it?” She asked as she took his hand.

 

He gently wrapped his fingers around hers, her scream of pain still echoing in his mind.  “Just me worrying I guess.” He replied with a light smile.

 

“About?” She asked.  When he didn’t say anything she slid closer and laid her head on his shoulder.  “Tell me Alex.”

 

“We we’re in the bluegrass field, and it looked like it was all done up for our wedding.” He told her as she listened.  He told her how beautiful she looked and how wonderful everything seemed in the dream, and then told her what happened next.  Her saying his name, her body falling, and the wail of pain he heard before he woke up.

 

He was done talking and took a sip of his juice as he wiped his eyes again.  “It’s really bothering you huh?” Chelsea said.

 

“I’m not Tim or Jerald, I’m not going to push you into something you don’t want to do, but yes, it is worrying me.” He told her as he looked at her.

 

She took a deep breath and then replied.  “Then I’ll go see that doctor in Chicago.”

 

“Chels, you don’t have too…”

 

“I know.” She replied with a light smile.  “But you’re right, they’re not going away and I want to worry about flowers and bridesmaids dresses not when the next time I’m going to have an attack is.”

 

AJ smiled at her and then leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.  They sat around the table talking a little bit more, AJ filling her in on what this doctor specialized in and how he might be able to help her.  About a half hour after he woke up the couple returned to bed, and fell asleep holding each other in their arms.

 

 

 

The next morning Chelsea was the first one to wake up.  She noticed the bus was stopped and looked out the window, the hi-way in the distance and a parking lot around them, she realized they were parked at a rest stop.  Deciding to let AJ sleep and would grab him something, she got dressed and headed off the bus.

 

“Hey kiddo.” Brian smiled at her as she walked up to Howie and him.

 

“Hey Baby duck.” She smiled back sarcastically; Brian got a quick look of disgust on his face.

 

“Where’s Alex?” Howie asked as they walked inside the rest stop.

 

“Sleeping.” She replied.  “Where’s Nick?”

 

“Why?” Brian asked quickly.  “What do you have planned?”

 

“Nothing” She replied with a giggle at Brian’s paranoia.

 

“He’s sulking cause we could only find a McDonalds and he wants to watch his weight and all.” Howie told her as they waited in line.

 

“I’m sure he can eat a McMuffin or something.”

 

“Not when he still has another three hours to sit on the bus, I dunno something about his metabolism.” Brian shrugged and Chelsea snickered. 

 

“He’ll be out when we start heading back to the buses.” Howie smiled.

 

When Chelsea had gotten food for her and AJ she returned back to the bus, putting the bags down on the table she walked into the back room.  He was still sleeping, wrapped up in the blankets, on his back, one arm over his head and the other draped across him.  Slowly she crawled up the bed and laid beside him but before she could get close to him, his arms shot out and wrapped around her.  Instantly she was rolled onto her back and looked up at him shocked.

 

“Morning.” He smiled at her.

 

“Morning” She replied with a laugh.  “I got breakfast.”

 

“I can smell.” He said with a smile and then kissed her.  “Was Nick out there? Did he give you a hard time?”

 

“No, he’s pouting.” She told him.

 

“Still?” AJ laughed as he got up from the bed.

 

“Well this time it’s over McDonalds.”

 

“He can eat the damn pancakes, he gets it every time.” AJ sighed rolling his eyes.

 

Chelsea lightly laughed as she sat down at the booth with her food.  “So this thing in Chicago, what are they going to do?” She asked.

 

“They told me just some background info, talk to you, and find out how they’re affecting you.” He told her as he walked out in a pair of jeans.  “If they think they can help then we’ll make another appointment and go from there.” AJ looked up at her as she poked at her hash brown. “I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

 

“I know.” She said as she looked up at him. “I told you last night why I wanted to go.”

 

He lightly smiled and returned his attention back to his food.  Just as he finished eating the bus drivers returned and everyone started rolling down the hi-way again.  AJ made his way to the back of the bus and pulled out one of his bags and began to get dress. 

 

“Every thing’s clean.” Chelsea said as she walked into the back room, closed the door and lied on the bed.

 

“I wonder if Nick ever ended up eating.” AJ asked with a light laughed as he took a shirt from his bag. 

 

“Who knows?” Chelsea sighed

 

“Are you thinking about what you’re going to do next?” AJ asked as he pulled his shirt over his head and crawled into bed next to her.

 

“Actually I was thinking what we would do for the next couple of hours.” She smiled as she raised her eyebrow slightly and he chuckled as her lips pressed against his.  His cell phone started to ring and he went to reach for it but her hand beat him to it.  He felt her hand slip into his pocket and pull the phone out as she rolled him onto his back.  AJ was about to pull his lips away but then he heard the thud of his phone hitting the floor and felt her hand slide under his shirt after it had discarded the cell. 

 

Chelsea moved her kisses down his neck and onto his chest as she slid his shirt up.  She pecked her way down the middle of his torso as she began to unbuckle his pants.  His fingers slid through her hair as she moved her lips down further.  As she pulled his pants off he felt her soft lips brush along his hip and he lightly sighed as he felt her hand wrap around his growing erection.  His fingers tangled in her hair tighter as she slipped him into her mouth.  He lied on his back, his mind a dizzy with pleasure, when she let a soft moan escape her lips it sent a shivering sensation through his body.  Slowly he sat up on his right arm, his fingers still tangled in her hair, he watched as her head bobbed up and down between his legs.  His body started to tense and he felt himself reaching the top of his climax but just as he got there she pulled away.

 

AJ grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head as she straddled over him.  Her lips pressed against his and they kissed aggressively as he unsnapped the back of her bra and tossed it to the floor.  Returning his hands to her body he slid his fingers down her stomach and unbutton her jeans, pulling them and her underwear off her.  Still sitting up on his right arm, he slid his left hand down her side, letting it rest on her hip as he watched her slide down onto him.  He thrusted against her grinding hips, his eyes floated over her body as he watched her.  She bent down and brought her lips to his as he let a small moan escape.  He could feel a small smile break from her lips as she kissed him, pushing him back against their pillows. Chelsea slid her hands up his chest and up his arms, pinning them over his head as she clasped her hands around his.  She moved her lips from his and slithered them down the side of his neck, stopping at his skulleerose tattoo.  Gently she brushed her lips along his neck and up to his ear so he could hear her gasps and moans as he reached his climax.  His eyes rolled back into his head as her voice echoed in his ears and he grabbed her hips pushing her down onto him harder as he bucked against her.  He could hear and feel her hitting her climax and a small sigh departed from his lips.

 

AJ laid still, his hand across her bare sweaty back as she laid on top of him, both of them trying to catch their breath.  He let his fingers trickle along the back of her neck, under her semi damp hair as she lifted her head and looked at him.  She brought a smile to his face as his fingers drifted down the side of her neck and rested there.  He pulled her towards him and kissed her, letting his tongue slowly snake into her mouth and then he rolled her over onto her back.

 

“What are you doing?” She asked with a light giggle as his lips pulled away from hers and turned their attention to the small dip between to collar bones and neck.

 

“We still got an hour and twenty minutes.” He replied softly as he pecked his way down the middle of her body.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 19

 

 

            AJ sat in a large Doctors office and he looked to his right at Chelsea sitting beside him.  He watched her as she picked at her nails; he knew that meant she was worried and nervous.  Reaching over he took her hand and she quickly looked up at him.  He smiled at her and she lightly smiled back as he brought the back of her hand to his lips and kissed it.  When the door to the office opened her hand gripped his tighter as the Doctor walked over to his desk in front of them.

           

“Well I can honestly tell you Chelsea I don’t think you need us to run any tests.” The Doctor told her.

 

“What do you mean?” She asked as she looked at AJ and then to the Doctor.

 

“I’ve seen this behavior before, in patients that have had a lot of trauma in their lives.” He spoke.  “It could be a couple of things causing it, it could be the stress you’re under because of your brothers or it could be your memory is blocking something, something you’re not ready to deal with, so it sends you into an episode.”

 

“Blocking something, like what?” AJ asked as he sat up a little.

 

“Most likely a memory from when she was with her father.” The doctor told her.  “We can run some CAT scans just to make sure but I really think the best thing for you Chelsea is to talk to a psychiatrist and see if they can help you get to the bottom of it.”

 

“What about the stress from her brothers?” AJ asked as he snuck a look over to Chelsea.

 

“Well if it is the stress from them, the only thing she can really do is talk to them with the help of a councilor.” He told them.

 

“We’ve tried that, they don’t listen.” Chelsea sighed.

 

“Then maybe for right now the best thing to do is disconnect yourself from them, at least until they realize you do know what is best.”  He said as Chelsea let go of AJ’s hand.  “But they are family so maybe go to a psychiatrist first; they can help bring out hidden memories, like with hypnotism.”

 

The Doctor told them he would send them a list of Psychiatrists in the California area that could help her with her memory, to dig and see if there was anything there.  He took down a couple of more notes and then the couple headed out of the office and down to the streets.

 

“So.” AJ said as they waited for a cab.  “What do you think?”

 

“I dunno.” Chelsea said quietly.  “Just need time to think about what he said.” She replied as she stared across the street.  The cab pulled up and AJ opened the door and let her climb in first.  He told the cabbie which hotel to go to and then the couple left the Doctors office.

 

“Hey dude we need to talk business for a sec now that you’re back.” Howie said as AJ and Chelsea walked off the elevators. 

 

“Sure.” AJ said as he turned to Chelsea.  “I’ll meet you in the room.” He told her with a light kiss on the cheek.  She lightly smiled and walked down the hall.

 

“Did everything go ok?” Howie asked.

 

“The Doctor said they really don’t need to do tests, he’s seen episodes like what she has before, he wants her to go to a psychiatrist try some hypnotism.”

 

“Why?” Howie asked.

 

“Because her memory might be suppressing something.”

 

“Like what?” Howie asked as they walked into Brian’s hotel room.

 

“That Howie is what scares me.” AJ told him trying not to loose all control and let his mind wonder to bad places.  Howie patted AJ’s shoulder with a light smile.  “So what’s going on?” AJ asked as he saw Nick and Brian sitting on the bed.

 

“Just some business we need to go over before we finish up this tour.” Brian said as AJ sat down in a chair.

 

AJ had stayed longer than he wanted too; the talk took about an hour.  Everyone discussed what shows they had left, wondering if AJ and Chelsea had decided on a date for their wedding and they talked about what they wanted to do after.  When he was finally allowed to leave he went right to his room.

 

“Chels?” He said as he closed the door behind him.  When she didn’t answer he found the usual nervousness come over him and he walked into the back room that was their bedroom.  “Chel…” He stopped when he saw her lying on the bed, fast asleep. 

 

AJ walked over to her and lifted her legs, sliding the blankets from under her, and tucked her into bed.  He walked around to the other side and stripped down to his boxers, thinking a nap would be a good idea.  He slipped in beside her and carefully wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him and nestled his head against hers.  His eyes started to get heavy and he realized he was sleepier than he thought.

 

 

A noise echoed in the other room and he lifted his head, he looked around sluggishly and saw an image of an unfamiliar room.  Sitting up AJ looked around as he sat on a mattress in a dirty old room, the walls looked like they were made from hard, packed sand, the windows were dirty and dusty and he couldn’t see out them.  Confused on where he was he stood up and looked down at the clothes he knew he didn’t go to sleep in but for some reason it wasn’t much of a concern to him at the moment.  He heard a scream and dashed at the room door swinging it open. AJ scanned the living room in front of him.  A broken couch, an old TV showing nothing but snow, dirty dishes and food everywhere as flies buzzed around the room.

 

“Alex!” He heard a voice scream from his left and he looked.  “Alex help me!” Chelsea shouted as her Dad dragged her down the hall.  In a milla second he had shock go through him, shock that she was there, then fright as he realized her Dad was there too, and then panic as they both disappeared around the hallway corner.

 

“Chelsea!” AJ shouted as he started running after her, his voice loud but it was shaky.  He bolted down the hallway almost slamming into the door in front of him when he reached the end.  Looking down the other hall, he saw Chelsea’s Dad standing in the doorway staring at him.  His eyes dashed and looked behind the man and he saw Chelsea on a mattress, chained. 

 

AJ took off down the hall at the man, the closer he got the more rage pushed him faster but then he was stopped cold as the door slammed almost in his face.  He reached for the knob but there wasn’t one.  His eyes dashed around the door frame, around the door as he looked for something to open it. 

 

“Chelsea!” AJ yelled as he pounded on the door.  Her screams had turned into wails and she shouted for her father to get off her.  “No, no no.” AJ’s voice was panic stricken as he stepped back making sure there was no knob to open it.  He grunted as he slammed his shoulder into the door.  “Chelsea!” He shouted as he slammed into it again.  The frustration of the door not moving or breaking at all started to build up inside him and he began to kick at the door hard.  “Cheslea!!” AJ screamed as tears rushed down his cheeks. 

 

He started flinging his arms when he felt someone touch him.  “Whoa, Whoa.” He heard Chelsea say and he looked at her.  His face soaked from his tears, his lungs gasped for air, and weirdly his throat hurt.  Her hand gently cupped his face as he looked at her confused and then looked around at the hotel room in more confusion.  When he realized it was all just a horrible nightmare, he pulled her into his arms and held her tight, maybe a little too tight at first.

 

“It’s ok.” Chelsea whispered as he felt her hands slide up his back.  He rested his head on her shoulder when something caught his eye and he looked up to see Nick standing in the door way.

 

“You ok man?” He asked staying put. 

 

“Yeah” AJ finally spoke as his body and mind began to calm.

 

“Are you sure?” Chelsea asked as she pulled away and looked at him with worry.

 

“Yeah” He replied again with a light smile.

 

“Was it that wedding dream again?” She asked.  He looked at her as the nightmare quickly replayed.

 

“No, it was just about the accident.” He said lying.

 

“You’ve never reacted that way.” Chelsea replied.  “You were screaming in your sleep.”

 

“I’m fine really.” AJ said to her trying to smile.  “So what are you doing here?” He asked looking at Nick changing the subject and cleaning his face.

 

“I busted him trying to hot pepper my food.” Chelsea said looking back to Nick.

 

“I was not, I just wanted to see what you were eating since it was outside the door.” Nick huffed.  “You started freaking out just after that.”

 

“Well I’m fine now.” AJ replied faking another smile.  “I’m gonna go hop in the shower and then I’ll come eat.” He told her as he got up.

 

“Ok.” She replied as he walked into the bathroom.

 

When he walked out into the living area, freshly cleaned and dressed, brushing the towel across his head drying off his wet hair, he saw Chelsea sitting at the small table poking at her food.  “Hey” He whispered as he bent down and kissed her cheek.

 

“Feeling better?” She asked as he sat down across from her.

 

“Yep, much.” He said still lying.

 

“I didn’t know what you wanted so I just got you a club.” Chelsea told him as he lifted the lid to his good.

 

“Sweet.” AJ said with a light smile, he scoped through the sandwiches like he was looking through some papers.

 

“What are you doing?” She asked.

 

“Making sure Nick didn’t touch my club.” He said as he lifted a triangle shaped toasted sandwich to his mouth. 

 

Chelsea chuckled.  “I already checked for you we’re both safe.” She smiled.

 

“I was thinking we could go out tonight, if you wanted, maybe to a club or something?” AJ said as he grabbed a glass of soda.

 

“Are you sure, we could just stay in, maybe talk about what happened.” She told him.

 

“Oh at the Doctors office, yeah that sounds good.” AJ nodded.

 

“No, I mean with your dream, or nightmare, what ever the hell it was.” Chelsea said as AJ looked at her.

 

“I told you I’m fine sweetheart.” AJ said.

 

“Are you sure? Because I’ve never heard you scream like that before, sleeping or not.” Chelsea replied as she looked at him.  He took a deep breath trying to find the right words, lie or not.  “Why won’t you tell me?”

 

“Cause there’s nothing to tell Chels, really it was just a nightmare about the accident.”

 

“Then why were you screaming my name?” Chelsea asked.

 

“I dunno, I was still sleeping.” AJ said almost a little sarcastically.

 

“Alex this isn’t funny.” Chelsea said with a hint of anger. 

 

AJ looked up at her.  “I swear to you sweetheart just a bad nightmare about the accident, I don’t know why I yelled your name but I’m fine, really.”

 

“Why don’t I believe you?” Chelsea said and little did she know the firestorm it would set off.

 

“I don’t fucking know!” AJ shouted as he slapped his hand on the table.  He pushed his chair away from the table and stood up.  “But I’m not sticking around for twenty questions, I told you I was fine, you don’t wanna believe me that’s your problem.” He said angrily as he walked out of the hotel room leaving Chelsea at the table, stunned.

 

“Hey where’s Chels?” Brian asked as AJ came out of the room.  AJ ignored him as he walked right onto the elevator as the door opened and a couple walked out.  “Alex?” Brian called after him but he still didn’t’ answer as the doors closed over him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 20

 

 

            AJ stood in the elevator as it lifted up to his floor, he was on his way back to his room after spending a couple of hours walking around the downtown area.  He now felt bad for snapping at her the way he did but she just kept pushing and he didn’t want to tell her what he saw.  The door opened and he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his key card when someone grabbed him by the arm.

 

“Hey.” AJ said a little shocked at who ever it was spinning him around.

 

“I know you have a temper dude and sometimes you need your space but if you ever take off on her like that again, Tim and Jerald will be the last two people on your mind.” Brian said angrily through his teeth as he stared seething at AJ.  “Two hours Alex? Two hours you were gone and you couldn’t even answer your cell when she tried to call you.”

 

“Is she still awake?” AJ asked not fighting what Brian had just told him.

 

“No, she passed out about a half hour ago, so I left and let her sleep.” Brian told him.  AJ didn’t say anything as he headed down the hall again to his room.  He slipped the key into the small card hole and waited for the green light to come on.  AJ quietly opened the door and walked in.  Setting the key card and his wallet down on the small table he heard footsteps and looked up at the bedroom door way.  He saw Chelsea standing there standing there looking at him so he walked over to her.

 

“Did I wake you? Brian said you were…” His sentence was stopped as she wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tight.  “I’m sorry.” AJ sighed when he realized she was crying.  “I should know better than to take off on you like that.”

 

“No” Chelsea said as she pulled away a little.  “I’m sorry; if there’s someone who knows about being pushed to talk about something you don’t want too it’s me.  I should have dropped it.”

 

He pulled her into his arms again and rested his chin lightly on her head.  “Then we’ll call it even.”

“Where did you go?” She asked as the stepped back from him.

 

“Just for a walk around downtown, sat at a coffee shop for an hour or so.”

 

“You could have answered your phone.” Chelsea said as she walked into the bedroom.

 

“I know I’m sorry I get retarded when I get mad.” AJ said as he followed her. “I hope I didn’t wake you coming in.” He told her as he sat down beside her on the bed.

 

“No I was awake.” She replied.

 

“Brian said you were sleeping.”

 

“To him I was, just trying to get him to leave.” Chelsea said with a light smile.  AJ lightly laughed as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and leaned in, gently kissing her on the temple.  Before he could pull away she turned and wrapped one arm around his neck and the other around his lower back. 

 

“You should get some sleep, it’s late.” AJ said as he held her.

 

“You’re not coming?” She asked as he helped her tuck her legs under the blankets.

 

“I had a couple cups of coffee; I can stay until you fall asleep though.” He told her and kissed her.  She smiled at him as he pulled away, then she laid down onto her pillows as he snuggled in behind her. 

 

AJ waited until she was fast asleep, staying next to her more for him than her.  Before he got up he softly kissed the back of her shoulder.  He walked over to his bag and pulled out his journal, then headed into the other room.  Sitting down at the table he opened his book and grabbed his pen.

 

 

October 15th 2008

 

            Well I had one hell of a nightmare this afternoon.  You’d think I’d be happy, Chelsea’s Doctor doesn’t think it’s physical but the other out come is just as horrible.  I tried not to go there all the way home, I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t that, that it was something else but what the fuck else could it be.  Is it wrong to not want her to remember, to have her go through these headaches because what’s worse, the headaches or her father…FUCK! I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM! He took her away, he took her from me, he took her away from the Richardson’s, from her Mom, and he took her Mom away from her.  The man hit her, his own fucking daughter and he tossed her around like a rag doll, and now I know he hurt her in the worse way imaginable…I really don’t want to sleep tonight, I don’t want to go back into that nightmare.  Think I’ll hit up the coffee machine and see what’s on Pay Per View tonight.

 

Alex

 

 

He stayed up all night, quietly leaving for the coffee machine when he needed too, and watched movies until the sun broke through the curtain.  With a yawn AJ looked at his watch and realized their wake up call would be coming soon, so he got up from the couch and walked into their bedroom.  Kneeling down beside her as she laid sleeping in the bed, he reached up and brushed her hair from her face.

 

“Sweetheart.” AJ said as he gently put his hand on her shoulder.  Chelsea mumbled and slowly opened her eyes.  “Time to get up.”

 

“Already?” She asked as she sat up on her side.

 

“Yeah” He replied with a light smile.  “Pancakes?”

 

“Pancakes.” She smiled as AJ stood up so she could get out of bed.

 

As AJ walked over to the phone it rang and he picked it up knowing it would be the wake up call.  He let the automated voice machine pick up and then he put the receiver back down.  Sitting down on the bed he waited a minute and then picked the phone back up and called down to room service.  As he hung up the phone he heard the water start to run in the shower.  He thought about joining her but then figured he’d give her some alone time and let her wake up.  Picking up his bag he grabbed onto the zipper and opened it, searching for some fresh clothes to wear.  By the time Chelsea got out of the shower AJ was dressed and waiting in the living area for their breakfast.

 

“So what time did you come to bed?” Chelsea asked as she sat down beside him on the couch.

 

“Fell asleep watching a movie.” AJ said with a light smile, Chelsea lightly smiled back.  When there was a knock at the door AJ stood up and answered it.  He rolled the cart into the room and inhaled the bacon and eggs as the aroma filled the room.  When AJ sat down to eat there was another knock at the door.  He sighed getting back up and walked back over to the door.

 

“Hello” AJ said as he stood at the door looking at Brian.

 

“Came to check on Cheslea.” Brian said and AJ could tell he was still pissed.

 

“She’s eating.” AJ told him as he took a step back and let him walk in.

 

“Hey Brian.” Chelsea said before she put a piece of pancake in her mouth.

 

“Just came to see how you were doing.” Brian said to her as he quickly looked back at AJ who just rolled his eyes a little before sitting down.

 

“I’m fine.” Chelsea replied as she dipped a piece into some syrup. 

 

“Are you coming to the promos?” Brian asked.

 

“Yeah” She nodded her mouth a little full.

 

“Ok well I’ll see ya there then, don’t forget to call Kevin and let him know what the Doctor said yesterday.” Brian told her before he left the room.

 

“Great now I gotta deal with Brian being pissed at me all day.” AJ sighed as he sat down at the table.  He poked at his eggs and then looked at her.  “I promise I won’t do it again.”

 

Chelsea put her fork down.  “I don’t mind if you need to take off, I get it, really, trust me I do.” She said with a light smile.  “Just answer when I call so I know you’re ok, I promise I won’t bug you, just want to know you’re ok.”

 

“I can do that.” AJ said with a nod as she reached across and took his hand.

 

“Then don’t worry about Brian, he’ll get over it.” She told him.

 

“And if he tells Tim and Jerald?”

 

“I’ll kick his short little ass all the way back to Kentucky.” She muttered as she picked her fork back up.  AJ smirked to himself as he returned his attention back to his breakfast.

 

 

 

AJ sat on the corner of a table as a reporter talked to Brian.  His friend hadn’t said two words too him all day but he was use to it, he was somewhat of a prick, when he was mad anyways.  He had just finished talking to the same reporter; they did a group interview and now were doing a separate one with each, no doubt the media trying to get something good about Kevin being gone.

 

“Dude, he’s pissed and you.” Nick said as he popped an orange slice in his mouth.

 

“No shit Sherlock.” AJ said looking up at him.

 

“What was up with that dream anyways?” Nick asked.  “You were freaking out.”

 

“It was nothing.” AJ sighed not wanting to get into it again.

 

“Dude.” Nick said and AJ rolled his eyes towards him.  “That was not nothing.”  AJ sat there quietly but he could feel Nick’s eyes burning into him.

 

“You know what the Doctor said right?” AJ blurted out with a sigh.

 

“Yeah”

 

“Well I’m worried about what her mind is hiding and I had a nightmare about it, that’s all.” AJ told him.

 

“You think it’s that bad?” Nick asked.

 

“What else could it be, she remembers some pretty horrible stuff but that…” AJ said as he began to get a little choked up.

 

“Rough” Nick said sadly. “Where is she anyways?”

 

“She said Leigh wanted to go check out some stores around here.” AJ said with a shrug.

 

“Dangerous.” Nick replied eyeing him.

 

“She don’t have my card, she’s got Kevin’s.” AJ smiled.

 

“She’s got Kev’s card? She should take us to dinner he owes us a couple.” Nick joked with a smile.

 

“Amen to that.” AJ sighed as a woman called for Nick to go over.

 

“My turn.” Nick sighed.  AJ lightly laughed as he watched Nick walk away and then saw Brian walking over to him. 

 

“Fuck” He sighed under his breath.

 

“Where’s Chelsea?” Brian asked.

 

“She went out with D’s woman.” AJ said nodding to Howie.

 

“And destroying my bank account no doubt.” Howie sighed as he approached them.  “So when is Chelsea gonna hit up Nick again?” He asked with excitement.

 

“I’m not sure.” AJ said with a laugh.  “Might be soon, she caught him trying to put hot pepper into her food.”

 

“Oh snap.” Brian said nodding his head a little.

 

“His feet flopping on the floor like big foot probably gave him away.” Howie said shaking his head.

 

“I hope we’re done soon, I need a nap before sound check.” AJ yawned.

 

“You do look tired did you sleep at all?” Brian asked.

 

“No but don’t tell Chels, I told her I fell asleep watching a movie.” AJ said too them.  “I just want to forget about the stupid nightmare and move on.”

 

“I’m sure it was a one time thing.” Brian told him.

 

“Yeah, exactly.” AJ said with a nod.

 

“Oh crap.” Howie sighed and AJ and Brian looked at him.  He stared off in the distance and AJ turned his head, following his stare.

 

“Nice.” AJ nodded as he saw Leigh walk in with hands both full of bags.  “Ha, and Chelsea has two bags.”

 

“Well yeah, Leigh bought everything else.” Brian said as him and AJ started laughing.

 

“Shut up assholes.” Howie sighed as he walked away from them.

 

“He’s so cute when he’s angry.” AJ laughed.  He caught his breath when Chelsea walked over to him.  “Did you get me a present?” He asked.

 

“Maybe.” She replied with a smile as she pulled the bags away from him.

 

            “Oh” AJ replied raising his eyebrows wondering what she was hiding.  Chelsea laughed as AJ tried to sneak a peak into her bags as Nick walked over.

 

“We’re done.” Nick told them.

 

“Sweet.” AJ sighed as he jumped down from the table.

 

“Anyone going for lunch?” Brian asked.

 

“Not me, I’m going to go take a nap.” AJ said with a yawn. 

 

“What time did you fall asleep?” Chelsea asked as they walked out of the interview room.

 

“Dunno” AJ said with a shrug. “I guess it was late.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 21

 

 

           

 

“You know it makes me nervous she didn’t come tonight, I swear AJ if she did something to my room.” Nick said as he leaned over the bench of the van from the back.

 

“Don’t blame me this is between her and you.” AJ told him.

 

“What did you do anyways?” Brian asked looking at Nick.

 

“I have no idea.” Nick sighed.

 

“Oh you know.” AJ said looking at him, remembering the interruption he gave them a week or so ago.

 

“What?” Brian asked looking at AJ and Nick.

 

“She’s mad about that!?” Nick squealed.  “It’s not my fault you two chose to do it on the couch.”

 

“WHAT?!” Brian yelled spinning around.

 

“Dude.” AJ scoffed at the look on Brian’s face.

 

“Then why aren’t you pissed at me? Sounded like you were having as much fun as her.”

 

“Oh Nick come on!” Howie shouted nudging him.  “We don’t need to know.”

 

“I don’t need to know.” Brian exclaimed back at all of them and it made AJ giggle.

 

“I am pissed at you, why do you think I haven’t stopped her from doing what she’s doing?” AJ told him as he looked at him.

 

“Bri, I’ll give you fifty bucks if you go and check out my room.” Nick told his friend as they all climbed out of the van.

 

“No way” Brian sighed as he headed to the door.

 

“D?” Nick asked raising an eyebrow.

 

“A hundred.” Howie bargained.

 

“What?!” Nick replied.  “Ugh fine, a hundred.”

 

“Nope sorry going to bed.” Howie said with a shrug and headed to the door as Brian held it open for them.

 

“Howie you’re an ass.” Nick replied as he followed him.

 

AJ shook his head as he listened to Nick moan all the way up the elevator.  By the time they got to his floor, he was ready to tell Chelsea to do something soon so Nick would stop bitching.  He put his keycard into the door and it unlocked, noticing as soon as he got in the room was pitch black.  A frown came over his face at the realization she was asleep already.  Emptying his pockets onto the small table, he set down his backpack and headed to the bedroom.  Opening the door the room began to flicker in a soft glow and he looked around seeing candles scattered across the room.  He looked at the bed and saw she wasn’t there but the sheets were drawn.

 

“Chelsea?” AJ said into the room as he looked over to the bathroom, the door was opened but the lights were off.  Then bedroom door closed behind him and he turned around.  “Hello” AJ said as the air rushed from his longs at the image of Chelsea standing in front of him.  His eyes scanned her as she leaned against the door and he wondered what was under the soft yellow silk robe.  Her hair was up in a loose pony tail and a couple of strands hung down around her neck.  “What’s this?” AJ said finally being able to speak.

 

“You’re present.” She lightly smiled as her fingers tangled around his shirt and she pulled him towards her.  He put his hand on the door beside her head for some balance and bent his head down, kissing her.  Her hands drifted around his waist and then she slowly pulled him against her as her tongue played with his.  The couple kept kissing as AJ picked her up and carried her over to the bed.  Carefully he climbed onto it and laid her down as her lips broke from his.  Sitting on his knees he sat up, his eyes fixated on her.  Taking her robe belt into his fingers he gently pulled and watched as the silk material unraveled.  The robe unwrapped and revealed the lingerie she wore underneath.  The bra was a soft satin yellow with black satin ribbon weaved around the outside and the very short; two tier skirt she wore made her legs appear longer than they really were.  

 

“Wow” AJ whispered as his eyes studied her lying in front of him, the soft, dim lights of the candles flickered off her skin.  “Too bad I have to take this all off now.” He sighed as he placed his left hand beside her head and leaned down, kissing her.  When he felt his shirt being pulled up, he moved his lips from hers, and began to descend down her neck.  His lips pecked softly down between he breasts as his shirt came over his head but he didn’t stop until he reached just above the skirt.  Slowly he sat up; his lips followed the skirt as he pulled it off her and then returned his lips to her inner thigh.  His kisses drifted down her leg and he let it lightly drape over his shoulder as he lowered himself between her legs.

 

A soft erotic moan escaped from her lips and she lightly pulled his hair as his mouth tenderly nursed her clit.  Slowly he slid his first two fingers inside her and she arched her back a little as a whimper of pleasure echoed around the room.  AJ felt himself getting hard and the harder he got the more uncomfortable his jeans became.  He pulled his lips away and began to ascend up her body again; leaving her wanting more like she left him wanting more on the bus.  His lips traveled up the middle of her body, retracing the steps they took to get down.  Her chest went up and down as she breathed heavily.  His eyes locked on hers as he hovered over top of her.  Their eyes didn’t break as she reached down and unbuckled his pants and helped him slide them off.  At this moment a quick thought went through his head, glad he went commando today.  His lips reconnected with hers as he lowered himself down, their naked bodies pressed together as AJ slipped his hand under her back and unsnapped her new satin bra.  He grabbed the material from the middle and pulled it off her, tossing it to the floor.  Drifting his hand down her side, around her hip and over her upper thigh, AJ lovingly wrapped her leg around his lower back, and slowly pushed himself inside her as he brought the blankets up around him.

 

Their bodies gently rocked against each other in a slow tender pace, his head rested beside hers and he watched her.  Her eyes were closed, the expression on her face made him smile to himself as he sat up, still keeping the slow pace. His lips brushed passed hers and he could tell they wanted to be kissed but he waited.  He pulled her other leg around his back and then gently took her arms and raised them over her head.  Their fingers locked together as she lifted her hips and bucked against him.  AJ lifted his lower body up just a little as he felt her body tightening around him.  Her moans were loud each time he thrusted into her and he finally returned his lips to hers.  When she tried to pull her hands down, wanting to touch him, to hold him as she hit her climax he wouldn’t let her, keeping them pinned against the pillow.  She moaned in his mouth as her body began to tremor against his, her arms still trying to pull away.  It sent him into his peak and he let go of her lips, resting his forehead against hers moaning her name as his body quivered. 

 

He sluggishly lowered his head beside her and let go of her hands as he gasped for air, waiting for his body to calm from the sensation that just over whelmed him.  Her arms wrapped around him, holding his body against hers.  His neck tingled as he felt her lips press against his skin.  When AJ lifted his head her lips followed around his neck, under his chin and then were trapped by his in a kiss.  He didn’t want to stop kissing her, touching her, he wanted her to be touched in a good way, wanted her to feel the way he could make her feel, even if it was for his own satisfaction. 

 

AJ rolled onto his side as his tongue took its turn to play with hers.  Her left leg trapped under him he grabbed her other leg and wrapped it around him.  Sliding his hands up her back grasping her shoulders, he held her against his chest and pushed her down onto him. She buried her forehead into the side of his neck as she grinded against him and the couple began a second round of love making.

 

 

A ringing sound semi broke him from his sleep and he lifted his arm which felt heavy and weak, pulling the phone off the receiver but it slipped from his fingers.  To tired to pick it up he left it on the floor and fell back asleep.  The next thing he heard someone was pounding on his bedroom door.  He popped his head up and looked around his eyes half open.  Looking down he saw Chelsea’s arm slung across him, her naked body still half laying on his and he smiled as his eyes drifted down the middle of her back, remembering the night before.

 

“Alex!” Someone shouted behind the door and pounded again.  He climbed out of the bed, not caring he was still naked himself and walked over to the door. 

 

“What?!” He asked as he opened the door a crack hiding behind it.

 

“Hello! We were supposed to leave a half hour ago!” Nick said half yelling.

 

“Huh?” AJ replied confused.  “What time is it?”

 

“Six o’clock dude, come on, Brian’s pissed.”

 

“Damn, must have slept in.” AJ yawned.

 

“Just hurry up.” Nick said rolling his eyes and walking away.

 

AJ closed the door and turned around surprised to see Chelsea still sleeping.  He walked over to the bed and sat down, his pointer finger slid down the middle of her back until it reached the blanket that hung over her waist. 

 

“Chels?” AJ said as he gently shook her.

 

“Hmm?” She mumbled as she rolled over.  His fingers followed along her skin stopping on her stomach.

 

“I think we missed the wake up call, gotta get going everyone’s waiting for us.” AJ told her as she sat up.

 

“Crap.” She sighed as she slipped from the bed.  The couple quickly got dressed and ran around the room making sure they had everything.  AJ made sure she had collected his “gift” from last night so she didn’t forget them.  When they had everything the couple left the room and not a moment to soon for Brian.

 

“About damn time!” Brian huffed as he headed to the elevators. 

 

“Says the cousin of the man who sleeps like he’s dead.” AJ mumbled making a crack at Kevin.

 

“Did you guys go out last night when you got back?” Nick asked as Chelsea yawned.

 

“No” Howie said looking at AJ and then rolling his eyes.  AJ couldn’t help but smile, he didn’t even realize it was Howie and Leigh’s room beside them.

 

“Sorry” AJ apologized as Brian groaned at the thought.

 

“It’s ok we ended up drowning the two of you out.” Leigh said as she wrapped her arms around her husband.  AJ, Chelsea and Nick started laughing and Brian just shook his head.

 

“It’s ok B, couple more days and Leigh Anne will be back, ya nympho.” AJ sighed as him and Chelsea exited the elevators.

 

The couple walked onto their bus and he followed her as she walked right to the back room and flopped onto the bed.  He put their bags down and crawled next to her as she laid on her stomach.  His fingers gently pulled back her hoody off her shoulders and he pressed his lips to her skin.  She lifted her head a little as his kisses reached her ear.

 

“Thank you.” He whispered.  “It was the best present ever.”  She smiled lightly as she rolled over and his lips met hers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 22

 

 

           

 

“There she is!” Anne said with excitement as she walked up to Chelsea and hugged her.  “Look at you.” Anne spoke with a smile.  “You’ve been taking very good care of her.” She said to AJ as she looked at him and hugged him at Kevin’s door.

 

“I try my best.” He smiled as he looked at Chelsea and Anne.

 

“I’m glad you came to Cali for Christmas.” Chelsea said with a smile.

 

“Me too.” Anne smiled as they sat down on the couch.

 

“Uh oh there’s trouble.” Kevin said as he walked down the stairs with Mason in his arms.

 

“There’s my favorite person in the whole world.” Chelsea said standing up as she walked over to Kevin.

 

“Awww Chels, I love ya too.” Kevin replied.

 

“Not you, the cute one.” Chelsea joked as she took Mason from him.

 

“Burn.” AJ laughed as Chelsea, Mason and Anne walked into the kitchen and joined Kristin.

 

“Shut up” Kevin replied rolling his eyes.  “So how are things, I hear you have a nice long break coming up.”

 

“Yup, off till February, well not really off we’ll be recording.”

 

“Already?” Kevin asked.

 

“Yeah, try to get it out in the summer, fall but you know Jive.” He sighed.

 

“What about the wedding?” Kevin wondered.

 

“What about it?”

 

“No date yet?” He asked.

 

“No, we’re in no rush, we’ve thrown dates around but nothing is in stone yet.” AJ told him.  “Besides, I want her to see one of the psychiatrists Doctor Anuld from Chicago reference to us.”

 

“Has she seen any of them?” Kevin asked.

 

“No we agreed to wait till January, after the tour and holidays.” AJ replied. 

 

“How have her headaches been?”

 

“Same, just as painful, makes me think it’s not stress but her mind suppressing something.” He sighed.

 

“How often are they now?”

 

“About the same, she’ll have one once a week, sometimes twice a week.” He shrugged. 

 

“You’re worried about something.” Kevin said and AJ looked at him.  “You don’t hide worry to well.”

 

“Watch me when Chels’s around.” AJ replied with a light smile.  “What she’s not remembering just scares the crap outta me, like really fucking scares me.”

 

“Is that why you’re having those nightmares?” Kevin asked and AJ looked at him a little confused. “Chelsea told me about the one you had a couple of months ago, she says you haven’t been sleeping well, and she thinks your having more nightmares but not telling her.”  Kevin told him.

 

“Did she get you to talk to me or something?” He asked getting a little defensive.

 

“No actually she asked me not to say anything, she told me you’d talk to her about it when you’re ready, she’s not going to push, but that’s Chelsea.” Kevin replied. “Not me.”

 

“I’m fine really, like I said scared of what she doesn’t remember.” AJ said as he looked down at his nails.

 

“Alex.” Kristin said as she walked into the living room holding Mason.

 

“Yeah?” AJ replied as he looked at her.

 

            “It’s Chels.” Kristin told him.  Quickly AJ got up and Kevin followed as they rushed into the kitchen.  When he walked into the room he didn’t see Chelsea in her normal fit of pain, instead she was sitting on the floor against one of the island cabinets as Anne knelt beside her, her head in her hands, whimpering. 

 

“Chels?” AJ said as he knelt down beside her and reached for her arms.

 

“Don’t!” She snapped quickly and pushed his arms away.

 

“She wouldn’t let me either.” Anne told him.  When he looked back at Chelsea she had started to shake.

 

“Sweetheart what’s going on?” AJ asked her.

 

“Leave me alone.” She whispered.

 

“No, I’m not leaving you alone, what’s wrong?” He asked again and not thinking he reached for her arm.

 

“Don’t!!” Chelsea hollered as she swatted his arm away, she scrambled to her feet and started pacing around the kitchen, like she was lost and didn’t know where to go.  Everyone, including AJ looked at her shocked and confused, and then in the middle of a step she dropped to the floor and grabbed her head in pain. He ran over to her, picked her up and carried her into the hallway. 

 

“Take her to one of the guest rooms.” Kevin said as he followed behind them.  AJ walked up the stairs and down the hall till he got to the first guest room.

 

“Here are her pills.” Anne said to him as he laid her down on the bed.  “Kevin’s getting her some water.” She told him as he took the pills from her.

 

“What happen?” AJ asked when Kevin handed him a damp cloth and a glass of water.

 

“She was talking to Kristin at the island and she just froze up, we thought she was going to have another attack but she just started crying and wouldn’t let me go near her.” Anne told them.

 

AJ looked down at Chelsea as he placed the cloth across her forehead and she whimpered trying to move her head away.  Kevin and Anne left the room and left AJ to tend to her.  Slowly he reached for her hand and carefully wrapped his fingers around it.  His eyes fell in pain as he watched her softly cry, her hand squeezing his as tight as her weak state would let her.  Carefully he sat her up and she was still pretty out of it.

 

“Time to take your pill sweetheart.” AJ whispered to her.  She took it from him then put the pill into her mouth and he helped her with the glass of water.  Gently he laid her back down onto the pillows and slipped her underneath the blankets.  He lightly kissed her forehead before putting the cloth across it again. 

 

“Don’t.” She whispered as she grabbed his hand before he walked away. 

 

He looked at her a little stunned. “Don’t what Chels?”

 

“Don’t go.” She muttered and as he sat down on the edge of the bed she slowly sat up.

 

“Chels lay down.” AJ said with concern as her arms wrapped around him.  She didn’t reply as her head rested on his shoulder.  His shirt tightened around him as she grabbed the cotton tightly in her hands, clinging to him.  “Want me to lie down with you?” He asked and she slowly nodded.  He moved into a better position on the bed and laid down, letting her nestle against him and apparently as close as she could. 

 

His fingers slowly drifted through her hair as she laid against him still quietly sobbing.  He didn’t know what was wrong; she hadn’t really acted like this before.  Knowing there was no point in trying to get anything out of her right now, he did what she wanted.  Eventually she fell asleep, he wasn’t sure if it was exhaustion or if she cried her self too sleep but he was glad she was resting.

 

AJ slowly got up careful not to wake her and headed down stairs.  When he walked past the clock in the hallway he saw that he had been up there with her for a couple of hours.  He walked into the living room and saw the three of them sitting there staring back at him.

 

“She’s finally asleep.” AJ sighed as he sat down.

 

“Was that normal?” Kristin asked.

 

“No, she’s never acted like that before.” AJ said shaking his head.

 

“You guys should crash here tonight, who knows how long she’ll be out.” Kevin said and AJ nodded in agreement.  “Are you hungry?”

 

“Starving.” AJ sighed and Kevin rolled his eyes knowing he should have known the answer. 

 

           

 

            Chelsea didn’t wake up until the next day or if she did she just stayed in bed and didn’t let anyone know she was awake.  She was quiet and withdrawn but she clung to AJ like she was a five year old and he was her blanky. But when they got home he noticed she started to separate herself from him, staying in the living room and not even sitting by him.

 

“Chels?” AJ said as he walked into the living room, she looked up at him, her head not moving from the back of the couch. “My Mom and Tony are here.” AJ told her as Denise walked into the room.

 

“Hi Chelsea” Denise said with a light smile.

 

“Hi” She replied a flash of a half smile and then she just stared at them.

 

“We’ll be in the kitchen ok sweetheart?” AJ told her as he motioned for his Mom to go there.  She nodded and then went back to the solemn state she was in before.

 

“You look like you haven’t slept much.” Denise said sadly as she looked at her son when he sat down at the kitchen island.

 

“I haven’t been, first the nightmares now with what happened last night, I got maybe a couple of hours.” AJ sighed.  “At least she’s been sleeping.”

 

“You think you should get her to talk to someone?” Denise asked.

 

“I dunno.” AJ replied with a light shrug.  “I’m really worried she remembered something, this is the first time she’s been away from me since we got home, hell since she woke up.”

 

“She won’t talk to you about it?” Denise inquired.

 

“No” He shook his head, she hasn’t really said anything just nods or shakes her head.” He sighed.  “I asked her to talk to me a couple of times today but she wouldn’t even acknowledged I asked her.”

 

“What are you going to do about the party tonight?” Tony asked.

 

“I hope she’ll be ok, it’s just the guys and you two plus Anne.” AJ replied.  “Speaking of which I need double check the food is coming.”

 

“You ordered out?” Denise asked.  “It’s Christmas Eve.” She sighed shaking her head as AJ picked up the phone.

 

 

AJ walked up the stairs as the people in his living room erupted into laughter; he walked down the hall and opened the door to his room.  Chelsea laid in their bed, the lights off, only the pictures on the TV screen illuminating the room.  Quietly he closed the door, walked over to the bed and crawled on top of it.

 

“Hey” He said quietly. “You wanna come down for a little bit?”

 

“No” Chelsea replied.  “There are too many people.”

 

“But you know everyone.” AJ told her.

 

“So, I just don’t want to be around anyone.” Chelsea replied a little sharply.

 

“What’s going on Chelsea?” AJ asked.

 

“Nothing.” She mumbled.

 

“Bullshit.” AJ countered.  “You haven’t been the same since we got home and I want to know why.”

 

“Well I don’t want to talk about it.” She shot back not looking at him.  “I told you I’m fine.”

 

“Chelsea” AJ sighed.

 

“Look I agreed to back off when you had that nightmare, why can’t you do the same for me?” She asked as she sat up.

 

“Because this is more than some fucking nightmare.” AJ snapped at her in frustration.  “First you were all over me wouldn’t leave my side, wouldn’t let me leave you, now you’re up here while your family and friends are down stairs and you won’t talk to anyone, even me.”

 

“All I want is to be left alone, why is it so damn hard for you of all people to comprehend.” Chelsea yelled as she climbed from the bed and out of the room slamming the door behind her.  AJ sat there stunned as he stared at the door.  Slowly he climbed from the bed and walked out of the room, he listened when he got to the top of the stairs and heard people talking.  As he walked down the steps he heard Chelsea go off.

 

“Well I was told all my family and friends were here and I should be down so here I am!” She shouted.  He heard Kevin mumble something. “No I won’t calm down, I didn’t even want to be here I was happy up in my room watching TV but somebody won’t take no for a fucking answer.”

 

“Chelsea!” He heard Anne snap as he walked into the living room.  AJ looked at her as she sat on the couch, everyone else staring at him.

 

“I’m sorry I thought it would make you feel better to be down here with everyone.” AJ said quietly as he looked at her.

 

“Well you thought wrong.” She snapped back and then huffed as she stood up.  “I need air.” Chelsea muttered as she walked passed AJ and Kevin and out the back door.

 

“What the heck was that?” Nick asked looking around.  “What just happened?”

 

AJ looked at everyone as they looked at him waiting to answer.  “I dunno she’s been like this since we got home.”

 

“Are you going to go talk to her?” Denise asked.

 

“I’ve tried you saw what happened at my last attempt.” AJ replied about what had just transpired.

 

“I guess I’ll try.” Kevin said looking at him.

 

“Go for it.” AJ sighed as he sat down.

 

Kevin left the room and walked out to the back doors.  He stepped out into the cool California December air and closed the door behind him.  Looking around AJ’s back yard he saw Chelsea sitting on the other side of the yard at the patio table.  Slowly he walked over and sat down in front of her.  He looked at her as she cried, her hand resting on her forehead as he elbow leaned on the arm of the chair.  Kevin looked up at the back doors and saw AJ standing there watching them, he lightly flashed his friend a smile.

 

“Chels?” Kevin spoke.

 

“Can I go home with you tonight?” She asked as she looked up at him. “Stay for a couple of days.”

 

“What? Why?” Kevin asked a little stunned.

 

“I can’t stay here right now.” Chelsea told him as she wiped her eyes.  “I can’t…” She stopped fighting back more tears.

 

“Don’t you want to be here with Alex?” Kevin asked.  A few seconds past and then she shook her head no.  “Chelsea, what’s going on?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it, please Kev don’t make me.” Chelsea replied as she started to cry again.

 

“Chels this is going to hurt him.”

 

“I know!” She shouted.  “Don’t you think I know that but I just can’t…” She stopped again like she was catching herself, stopping herself from saying something.

 

“Well if you’re not comfortable here I guess, go pack some clothes; I’ll go talk to Alex ok?” Kevin told her and she nodded.

 

When Chelsea and Kevin walked into the house they both saw AJ in the kitchen.  Chelsea looked away quickly and headed up to her room.  Kevin took a deep breath and looked at AJ.  “She wants to stay with us for a couple of days.”

 

“What?” AJ replied stunned, his face falling in confusion and a little in pain.

 

“Look man, don’t take this personal something is really, really wrong and we should just go with the flow for now.” Kevin told him as AJ sat down at his kitchen island.  “I’m gonna go tell Kris we’re leaving, I’ll call later let you know how she’s doing ok?”

 

“Yeah” AJ replied quietly and nodded. “Sure” He spoke quietly as Kevin left the room.

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 23

 

           

 

AJ walked down the stairs groggy from the previous night’s broken sleep.  He walked into the kitchen and saw his Mom and Tony drinking a coffee.  They said good morning and he lightly waved.  He grabbed a mug from the shelf and poured a cup of coffee for himself.  As he sat down he thought about waking up and seeing her spot empty.  He rubbed his head as he felt a headache coming on.

 

“Has Kevin called?”

 

“No” Denise replied. 

 

“I’m going to call him.” AJ said as he got up and grabbed his home phone.  He let it ring and waited for Kevin or someone to pick up but he hoped Chelsea would see the number and answer.

 

“Merry Christmas.” Kevin said into the phone.

 

“Huh? Oh yeah Merry Christmas.” AJ replied, not very merry.  “How’s she doing?”

 

“Quiet, she sat down here with us this morning and watched Mason open his gifts; she’s been up stairs in her room since and that was about an hour ago.”  Kevin told him. “I asked her if she wanted to go home and spend Christmas with you but she said no.”

 

“She doesn’t want to see me?” AJ asked as his stomach turned. 

 

“I tried talking to her last night and I tried this morning but she wouldn’t say anything, she got mad at be for bugging this morning.” Kevin explained.

 

“I don’t understand what I did.” AJ told him as a tear dripped.

 

“You did nothing, we’ll find out what it is what she remembered.” Kevin replied.  “I’ll try again after lunch.”

 

“Alright.” AJ replied in a mono tone.  They said goodbye and AJ hung up the phone.

 

“Alex?” His Mom said and he turned around.  “She’ll come around.”  AJ lightly smiled at his Mom’s effort to comfort him.  “Do you want to open presents?” She asked.

 

“Sure” AJ sighed as he walked out of the kitchen and into his living room.

 

 

 

“Knock, Knock” Kevin said as he lightly knocked on Chelsea’s half open door.  He saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, her body rocked back and forth and she was sobbing.  He walked around the bed and knelt down in front of her, she was staring at her engagement ring, spinning it around her finger.  “Chels?”  He put his hands on her arms and she looked up at him, shocked like she didn’t know he was there.  “What happened, what do you remember?”  She shook her head, still crying and still rocking even though Kevin had her arms.  “Tell me Chelsea, I don’t care what it is you need to tell someone and you’ve pushed Alex away.”  When he said his friends name she started to cry harder and fell into Kevin’s arms.  Slowly Kevin wrapped his arms around his sister and held her as they sat on the floor.

 

“It’s too hard.” Chelsea whimpered.

 

“I know its hard hun but you have to tell someone, look what it’s doing to you, look what it’s done too you and Alex already.” Kevin told her still holding her.  

 

“I didn’t mean to push him away.” She whispered through her sobs.  “It’s just that when I look at him I see…” Chelsea paused and Kevin felt her hug him tighter.

 

“What do you see Chels?”

 

“I see her.” She spurted out before she began to cry again.

 

“Who?” Kevin asked, slowly he pulled her away and was able to make eye contact with her.  “What do you mean when you look at Alex you see her, her who?”  Chelsea’s breathing began to get heavy like she was starting to panic.

 

“I…I didn’t know.” She sobbed between breaths. “When my Dad took me, I didn’t know.” He realized the heavy breathing was her trying to calm herself so she could speak.  “I didn’t know.” She told him again her eyes etched in pain and almost a little guilt.

 

“You didn’t know what?” He asked her as he gently rubbed her arms.

 

“I was…” She stopped and looked at him.  Kevin looked at her waiting for her to finish as his mind began to put the pieces together, what she said about looking at AJ, who the she was that Chelsea was seeing.

 

“Oh god Chelsea.” Kevin said as it all came together.  “When did you find out?”

 

“I was late, then I started too get sick…I don’t know how long it was.” She stopped and closed her eyes before breaking down again.

 

“You said her, so you had the baby?” Kevin asked and Chelsea nodded.  “Where is…” Kevin paused.  “Where is she Chels?”

 

“I don’t know.” Chelsea blurted out. “I had her for a couple of days and then one night he came into my room and just took her.  When he came back and she wasn’t with him I freaked out and he just started hitting me and telling me if I survived he might tell me where she was but when I came to...”

 

“You didn’t remember.” Kevin said as the final piece clued in.

 

“I don’t know how long I was out for; I still can’t remember where we were hiding, I have no idea if she’s alive or…or…I don’t know.” Chelsea explained to him as she started crying again.  After a moment her head snapped up and she looked at her brother. “You can’t tell anyone Kevin, I don’t want to hear about how young and stupid we were, I don’t need Tim and Jerald finding out, and I couldn’t take what your Mom would think of me.”

 

“You need to tell AJ hun.” Kevin told her.

 

“I know.” She replied fighting tears.  “I just…”

 

“What?” Kevin asked.

 

“What if he wants to find her, I don’t know what happened to her and I don’t think I could take it if I found out…” She stopped. 

 

“I’m sure if you tell him that he’ll understand.”

 

“Kev, this is Alex we’re talking about.” Chelsea said as she wiped her eyes.

 

“Chelsea I’m sure he’ll understand.”  She took a deep breath and exhaled.  “He’s really worried about you.”  Chelsea looked at him and sighed.  “I can call him, tell him you want to talk, we’ll entertain Denise and Tony, you two can go out to my studio and talk there.”

 

Chelsea sat there for a minute picking at her nails; she took a deep breath and then nodded agreeing.  Kevin stood up, kissed her on the top of her head and left the room.  He walked down the hall into his bedroom and picked up the phone, dialing AJ’s number.

 

“Hello?” AJ said and Kevin could tell he was hoping it was Chelsea.

 

“Hey it’s Kev.” He replied.

 

“Hi” AJ said his voice dropping.

 

“Can you come over; you can bring your Mom and Tony.” Kevin said.  “She needs to talk to you.”

 

“She does?” AJ said a little stunned.

 

“Yeah man, I finally got it out of her and got her to talk to you about it.” Kevin said with a small sigh of victory.

 

“Is she ok, what happened?” AJ asked

 

“She’ll explain it all when you come over.” He told him. 

 

“Ok, ok I’ll be right there.” AJ said and then he hung up the phone.  Kevin couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he put the receiver down.  He walked back into Chelsea’s room and saw her looking out the window.  “He’s on his way.”

 

“Ok” She said as she looked back at him and then looked back out the window.  He stared at her for a moment and then turned around.

 

“Kev?” She said quickly and he turned around.  “Are you disappointed in me?”

 

“No Chels, not at all, maybe back then I would have been a little, only because you’re a smart girl but none of that matters now, no matter what anyone says.” Kevin told her and she took a deep breath as she turned looking back out the window.

 

 

AJ sat in Kevin’s studio, Chelsea sat next too him wiping her eyes, he was in complete shock at what she had just told him.  He ran her words over and over in his head making sure he heard her right. His whole body had gone numb and he wasn’t sure if he was breathing. 

 

“I didn’t mean to push you away Alex, it’s just that when everything started to sink in and I looked at you, I saw her.”  Chelsea told him and he looked at her.

 

“S-s-she looked like me?” He asked.

 

Chelsea nodded.  “She had your nose and your eyes and I’m sure she would have had your smile if…” He put his hand on her shoulder; she looked at him and then wrapped her arms under his pulling herself against him.  AJ didn’t hesitate to fold his arms around her as she started to cry again.  “I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect her.”

 

“No Chelsea.” AJ said as he pulled her away.  “Don’t you dare blame yourself, this was your Father’s fault all of it.” He told her as he pulled her back against him.  “I know you did all you could.”  And now it was his turn to cry, they both cried as they sat on the leather studio couch. 

 

“If you need time to deal with this I can stay here with Kevin.” Chelsea told him breaking the silence. 

 

“What I need is for you to come home with me.” AJ said as he pulled away and placed his hand on the side of her face.  “So we can deal with this together.”

 

“Where’s your Mom and Tony?” She asked as he wiped her eyes.

 

“They went to visit some friends they have out here, say hello.” He told her.

 

“Please don’t tell her.” Chelsea asked him and he looked at her a little confused.  “The only ones who know are us and Kevin, well I’m sure he’ll tell Kris but that’s ok.” She said.  “I don’t want Tim and Jerald finding out, I don’t want Anne finding out so the less who know the better.”

 

“What…what about if we look for her?” AJ asked.

 

“No, Alex no I can’t.” Chelsea shook her head.  “I know that’s asking a lot from you but I just can’t deal with finding out that she’s not with some family some where.”  She told him as a tear dripped from her face. 

 

AJ slowly nodded.  “I understand.”

 

“You do?” She replied.

 

“Yes I do.” He told her.  “Not going to lie I want to know but after everything you’ve been through I wouldn’t want to put you through that too.” The couple embraced again and held each other for a while.

 

“So can I take you home?” AJ asked as he slowly pulled away from her.

 

“Yeah” She nodded as she brushed her bangs behind her ear. 

 

They went back into Kevin’s and Chelsea went to get her bag from upstairs as AJ told Kevin she was going home.  He could tell Kevin wanted to say something but his Mom was there.  When Chelsea came downstairs she said goodbye to Kevin, Anne and Kristin and then left with AJ too go home.  As he pulled into the drive way he was glad to see his Mom and Tony weren’t home yet.  He met her in front of the car and wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked to the door.  They were greeted by the dogs and they jumped like crazy at Chelsea.

 

“Think they missed you.” AJ said with a light laugh.  Chelsea smiled as she gave the dogs some love.  “Why don’t you put your bags away while I let them out?”

 

“Ok” Chelsea nodded as AJ headed down the hallway with the dogs.  He opened the back door and let them out, stepping outside with them.  They took off and started running around the yard.  He threw their ball around figuring they had been by themselves for a couple of hours a good run would do them good. His mind over whelmed at the thought that he had a daughter and the thought of what happened to her, the only reason he hadn’t spazzed out yet was because his body was still numb. Opening the door AJ walked into the house and the dogs followed, they even followed him to the stairs.

 

“You two stay down here.” He said pointing his finger at the dogs and they sat on the floor looking at him.  AJ continued up the stairs and walked down the hall to their bedroom.  When he opened the door he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, he walked over to her and sat down beside her.

 

“What’s up?” He asked as he turned and faced her, taking her hand in his.

 

“Still trying to take it all in.” She said as she looked at him.  “Small pieces keep coming back.” 

 

Wrapping his arms around the front of her and behind her, AJ pulled Chelsea against him and cradled her in his arms.  The couple sat quietly both having thoughts about their daughter.  He closed his eyes as he started to think about what Chelsea went through, alone, young, pregnant and with her Father.  He thought about what she endured during the delivery and thought it was a miracle both of them survived. 

 

“Hey Chelsea?” AJ said breaking the silence.  She lifted her head and looked up at him.  “Did you get to give her a name?” He asked.

 

“Nadia.” She told him as she looked back down and nestled into him some more.  “It’s Russian for hope.”

 

“Beautiful” AJ whispered as he lightly kissed the top of her head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 24

 

           

 

December 25th 2008

 

            I have a daughter. Somewhere out there is my blood, my eyes, my nose, my smile, somewhere there is a piece of Chelsea and me but where I just don’t know.  Is it wrong to believe she’s still alive?  My Nadia, my hope, hope that Chelsea’s Father isn’t as cruel and heartless as I thought.  Did he drop her off at a police station, a hospital, someone’s door step?  He took her away from her mother, was that not enough to fuel his black heart, or did he…Why wouldn’t he, he tried to do it to Chelsea when she was a baby, when her mother carried her he tried to take her life before it even started so why would he think different about his granddaughter.  Is it wrong to believe that I got her Mother back so I’ll get her back too?  I want to know if she’s out there, if she’s happy, healthy…God she would be fourteen years old now.  I have a teenager…her life is truly just beginning at least I hope it is…Hope, that’s what Nadia means, and that’s all I have of her right now.  I understand why Chelsea doesn’t want to look for her.  I mean I know deep down inside she wants too but right now I don’t think she could handle hearing that her daughter is dead…I don’t think I could handle hearing it either as much as I want to know.  It all makes sense now though, why Chelsea clung to me the way she did when they found her, when she came home to us, she needed more than just love, she needed the connection we had, the connection only we shared because of that little baby girl..  Something in the back of her mind, deep inside her knew everything. I have a feeling I’ll be writing in here a lot more.

 

            Alex.

 

            AJ put the pen down along the inner spine of the book and sat back on the couch, laying his hand gently on Ozzie’s head.  He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath.  The floor creaked above him and then he heard his bedroom door open.  The steps moved across the hallway and started down the stairs.  The dog under his arm got up from the couch and headed into the first floor hall.  He heard her mumble something as she walked down the hall to the living room.

 

“Everything ok?” He asked as she walked in.

 

“Can’t sleep.” She replied as she sat down beside him.  “You too?” She asked nodding to his journal.

 

“Yeah” He said as she laid against him.  Laying his head on top of hers as she played with his fingers, his eyes drifted to the tree still lit up, presents still sitting under it.  “You wanna open presents?” Chelsea sat up and looked at him.  “I just opened the stuff from Mom and Tony this morning.”

 

She lightly smiled and nodded. “Ok”

 

The couple sat on the floor by their tree and they started trading gifts.  Chelsea bought him some new belts, a few vintage t-shirts, a couple of new hats and a new watch.

 

“I hope it fits ok.” Chelsea said as he fastened the strap.

 

“It fits great.” AJ replied with a smile as he looked the watch over as it sat in his wrist.  “It’s sweet the way the skull fades into the background like that; do you like your necklace?” He asked as he lied on his side, on the floor.

 

“Yes, it gorgeous.” She replied with a smile.  He smiled back as he picked up the white gold Aquamarine Birthstone Claddagh Necklace that sat around her neck.

 

 “I wanted to get it for you when we were in Ireland but then Jerald and Tim made you come home, so instead I ordered it for Christmas.” He told her as he let it gently fall against her chest.

 

“I wonder if I’m going to have anymore headaches.” Chelsea spoke up.

 

“We should call Doctor Anuld.” AJ said as he rested his hand on her leg.  “He might have more suggestion on someone you can talk to, help you deal with what happened and help you find the pieces that are still missing.”

 

“I’m so confused.” Chelsea spoke and AJ saw the agony as her eyebrows frowned.

 

“Well hopefully talking to a Doctor will help that.” AJ told her as he sat up.  “Until then you got me and I’m not a shrink but if you need to talk I’m here.”

 

“What about you?” She asked.

 

“Don’t worry about me.” He told her as he pulled her into his arms.  “You’re the one who went through it all; right now my concern is getting you through this, helping you to move forward.”

 

There was a moment of silence before Chelsea spoke.  “I hate him.” She muttered and AJ wrapped his arms around her a little tighter.

 

“Me too sweetheart, me too.” He sighed and then kissed her on top of the head.

 

 

The next few of days went by pretty smoothly compared to how eventful the previous days had been.  The hardest part for him was watching her, he’d walk into a room and she’d be there crying, or she spends all night tossing and turning, and was still pretty quiet.  His Mom went home so she and Tony could spend New Years with some friends in Florida. AJ told her that Chelsea had remembered some things but right now they were staying private, his Mom understood. They hadn’t really made any plans for that night, he figured they’d just go out with Kevin but now he decided they needed a night to themselves, alone, just them and no one else, no interruptions. So they thought.

 

“Uno I win again!” AJ cheered as he tossed down his card on the table and raised his arms in victory.

 

“You cheated.” Chelsea sighed.

 

“How do you cheat in Uno?” AJ asked with a laugh as his phone started to ring.  “I’ll get it give you a chance to fix the cards in your favor.” He told her getting up.

 

“Bite me Mclean.” Chelsea mumbled.

 

“Later!” AJ shouted from the hallway.  He walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone.  “Happy New Year now what do you want?” He answered.

 

“AJ its Kristin.” Kevin’s wife said into the phone.

 

“Hey Kris what’s up, wanna talk to Chels?” He asked.

 

“No, no, look…” Kristin stopped and it sharpened his attention to her.  “There’s a problem.”

 

“What kind of problem is Kevin ok?” He asked lowering his voice so Chelsea didn’t hear.

 

“Kev’s fine, well sort of, see my idiot of a husband got drunk and Jerald over heard him crying about Chelsea.”  She told him.  “Now I think he’s on his way to your house.”

 

“What?” AJ said as his face and voice become stone cold.

 

“He’s an idiot I know.” She sighed.

 

“I gotta go.” AJ said hanging up the phone.  He stood in the kitchen for a moment.  “Fuck, fuck.” He said to himself as he began to panic.  Calming himself or at least trying to he walked into the dinning room.

 

“Change of plans.” He said as he walked over to her.

 

“Huh?” She asked as she looked at him confused.

 

“Grab a sweater, we’re gonna go for a walk.” He told her as he put the cards away.

 

“A walk?” She asked still confused.

 

“Yep.” AJ said hoping she would hurry.  “Maybe down at the beach or something.”

 

AJ walked down the hall and grabbed his jacket as Chelsea put on her sweater.  “Alex what’s going on?”

 

“Nothing.” AJ replied shaking his head as he grabbed his keys.  “Just had the idea it would be nice to take a walk down at the beach or whatever.” He told her as he grabbed the knobbed and opened the door.  Quickly he hit the alarm and locked the house up as she headed to the car.  As AJ pulled out his car key the sound of someone flying down the street made his heart race.  Just as he got his door opened the car squealed to a halt and Jerald came flying out. 

 

“Jerald?” Chelsea said confused when she saw him get out of the car. 

 

“Chels get inside.” AJ told her as he quickly looked over to her.  She looked at AJ confused and then her eyes went wide.

 

“How did he?...” She started to say.

 

“Just get inside.” AJ told her.

 

“She’s not going anywhere.” Jerald shouted as he approached them.

 

“Jerald stop.” Chelsea said as she hurried around the car but she was too late. She rounded the corner of the car just as Kevin’s brother slugged AJ and he dropped to the ground.  “Jerald!!” Chelsea shouted as she shoved him.  “What the hell is wrong with you!?”

 

“Him, He is, I’m tired of this Chelsea.  He’s bad news and if getting you knocked up at seventeen wasn’t bad enough.”

 

“How?” She asked looking at Jerald confused.

 

“Kevin.” AJ mumbled and Chelsea turned around.  He was standing again; hand over his lip which was now bleeding.  “That was Kris on the phone, Kev got drunk and let it out I tried to get you out of here before he came.”

 

“Ugh” Chelsea moaned as she stood between Jerald and AJ.

 

“You’re nothing but a punk, you use woman, just like your Father.” Jerald snapped at him.  AJ went to lunge at Kevin’s brother but Chelsea beat him too it as her opened hand went flying across his face.

 

“First don’t you ever compare him to his Father!” Chelsea yelled at Jerald as both him and AJ looked at her stunned.  “He is nothing like him. Second I was there too ya know, it was just as much my fault as it was his but you know what Jerald, it’s none of your business, it’s between Alex and Me and no one else.”  She took a breath and then pointed to his car.  “Leave.”

 

“Chelsea he’s not good for you.”

 

“I said leave!” She shouted at him again louder than before.  “Leave, don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, I never want to see you again, ever!” Kevin’s brother took one last look at AJ and then grunted as he headed back to his car.  Chelsea waited until Jerald was in the car and then she turned around heading to the house.  AJ walked over and unlock the door, letting her in first and then shutting off the alarm.  He closed the door and then locked it. When he turned around Chelsea was gone but he heard her footsteps thunder up the stairs.  Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and then let it out with a sigh.

 

He walked upstairs and into the bathroom off of the hallway, he turned on the water and then grabbed a cloth from the towel cabinet.  He ran it under the water and then pressed it to his lip, wincing in pain at the sting.  The blood started to wash away as he stared at himself in the mirror.  He dropped the cloth into the water as he heard Jerald’s words playing back in his head. “You’re nothing but a punk, you use woman, just like your Father.”  His eyes closed as his head dropped trying to push the words out.  They opened again when he felt a hand slide over his; he turned his head and looked at Chelsea standing beside him.

 

“You ok?” She asked with a frown as she looked at the cut on his lip.

 

“Yeah” He said with a light smile.  “Kevin hits much harder than he does.”  Chelsea lightly laughed as he picked the cloth up out of the water.  “Are you?” He asked.

 

“Besides the ass kicking I’m giving Kevin tomorrow, I guess I’m fine.” She told him as she hopped up onto the bathroom counter.  “I don’t know why I cared so much about what he thought.”

 

“Cause he’s like your brother and you love him.” He touched the cloth to his lip again.  “I hate fat lips.” He sighed.

 

“You know it’s not true right?” Chelsea said and he looked at her unsure what she meant.  “You’re not like your Father and despite what you say you never were.”  He lightly smiled at her as he emptied the sink.

 

“Come on.” He said taking her hand.  “I don’t know about you but I’m ready for bed.”  AJ slung her arm over his shoulder and scooped her up in his arms.  She lightly laughed as he carried her out of the bathroom and into their bedroom, kicking the door closed with his foot behind them.

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 25

 

           

 

AJ sat on the couch watching Chelsea as she sat on the floor playing with the dogs.  He was glad to see what happened with Jerald didn’t really affect her this morning. When the door bell rang the two dogs started going crazy and took off for the door.  AJ got up with a laugh as Chelsea was almost bulled over.  He walked up to the door and looked out the peep hole. There on the other side of the door was Kevin, his eyes shielded with sunglasses, Kristin and Anne stood by him.

 

“Is it Kevin?” Chelsea asked noticing AJ’s long pause at the door. 

 

“And Anne.” AJ told her.  Chelsea sighed as she sat down on the couch and AJ opened the door.

 

“Hi” Kevin mumbled. “Whoa, what happened to you?”

 

“Did my son do that too you?” Anne asked interrupting anything AJ was about to say to Kevin.

 

“Yeah but I’m ok.” AJ replied as he let them in.

 

“What about you hun?” Anne asked as she sat down next to Chelsea.

 

“I’m fine.” She replied as Kevin walked over to her.

 

“Chels I’m really, really, sorry.” He told her as he sat in the chair across from her.  Chelsea didn’t say anything as she got up from the couch and went into the kitchen.  Kevin looked at AJ who didn’t know what to say, what could Kevin expect, even he was a little pissed at his band mate.  AJ looked back up at the door way when he saw Chelsea walk in with two frying pan lids and slammed them together next to Kevin’s ear. 

 

“Owe!” Kevin groaned as he grabbed his head in pain.

 

“I feel better, we’re even now.” She told him as she turned around returned the pan lids to their proper place and came back to her seat on the couch.

 

“Aspirin?” He asked looking at AJ.

 

“Kitchen.” AJ lightly laughed as him and Kevin got up from their seats.

 

“So how is she doing?” Kevin asked as AJ handed him a glass of water a couple of Aspirin.

 

“Better than I thought she would be after last night.” AJ said as he sat across from Kevin at the island.  “Dude seriously…what happened?”

 

“I had way too much to drink last night.” Kevin sighed.

 

“Ya think?” AJ replied.

 

“I thought Kris and I were alone but I guess he walked by the room and heard me talking to her.” Kevin said with a sigh.  “He then proceeded to grill Mom on whether or not she knew, that’s when the two of us got into it.”

 

“So now who all knows?” AJ asked.

 

“Mom, Jerald, I’m sure he’ll tell Tim, Brian, Leigh-Anne.” Kevin told him as AJ sighed.

 

“Damn it Kevin” AJ moaned. 

 

“Like I said I’m sorry.” He replied with a mumble.  The two sat there for a moment and AJ spoke up.

 

“Well I can’t be that too mad at ya, not like I’ve never done anything stupid while drunk.” AJ told him and Kevin lightly smiled.  “Fuck that means I gotta tell Ma before she finds out through the grape fine.”

 

“How you think she’s going to react?”

 

“No idea” AJ replied lightly shaking his head.  “What about your Mom?”

 

“She’s worried, very worried, that’s why she came with us, she probably understands more about what Chels went through and is going through better than us.” Kevin told him as he brought his glass of water to his lips.  “I tell ya that was some hand print she left on his face.”  He said as he nodded towards the living room.

 

“He deserved it.” AJ muttered.

 

“Did she slap him because he hit you?” Kevin asked.

 

“No, he said something that pissed her off.” AJ replied.

 

“What was it?” Kevin wondered.

 

“He told her that I use woman that I was like my Father.” AJ told him.

 

“Yeah cause he knows exactly who you are.” Kevin mumbled rolling his eyes behind his glasses.

 

The two band mates sat and talked about AJ’s up coming birthday and some new news on the new album they would be working on.  About an hour after they arrived everyone left and the couple was left alone again.  AJ closed the door after saying goodbye and headed into the living room where Chelsea still sat on the couch.

 

“Anne thinks we should try and find her.” Chelsea said as AJ sat down.

 

“You don’t need to decide right now, you can talk to a Doctor and take all the time you need until you’re ready.” AJ told her.

 

“They’re just going to tell me the same thing Anne did.” She said as she sat back wiping her eyes with her hand.

 

“Which was?” He asked.

 

“I need to do it so I’ll have closure, we’ll have closure one way or another.” She said as she picked at her fingers.

 

“But if you’re not ready Chelsea.”

 

“Will I ever be ready?” She scoffed running her fingers through her hair, pulling it away from her face she sighed.  “This is why I feel so confused, one minute I think about her and I want to know and then the next I just break down at the thought of her…” She stopped herself and closed her eyes for a second.  “Plus what about her Alex? She’s fourteen, if she has a family and it’s the only family she knows, is it fair to her, to tell her how she came into this world in some shack somewhere.”

 

“Chels” AJ sighed taking her hand.

 

“It’s the truth, how would any fourteen year old react to that.” She said as she looked up at him.

 

“I know you’re scared sweetheart and there’s lots of scenario’s that we could sit here and drive ourselves crazy wondering but the truth beneath it all is, she’s ours Chelsea and we deserve to know if she’s ok.”

 

“Where would we start?” She asked him.

 

“We start with the Doctors and see if they can get you to remember anything else, maybe you do know where you were, maybe you over heard your Dad, or a TV, or radio or something and you just don’t know yet.” He told her as he cupped his hand to the side of her neck.  “We’ll get through this and if the outcome isn’t what we want, we’ll get through that too because we have each other.”  She closed her eyes as his thumb gently brushed along her jaw line; his eyes darted to hers when he saw a tear drip from the corner of her eye. He pulled her into his arms and gently laid them down on the couch.  Her head rested against his chest, her arms wrapped around his waist and she pulled herself close to him as she quietly sobbed.

 

AJ hated seeing her this way, this all so much harder on her than him.  He wasn’t there, he didn’t know, it’s almost not real to him yet, and he knew that.  Knowing his time would come when or if they ever found her, the realization that it was real.  But for Chelsea it was real, very real, and having her daughter taken away like her Mother had hers was taking its toll on her.  

 

His hand lovingly and lightly rubbed her back and every once in a while he would kiss the top of her head.  He lied there with his eyes closed, thoughts running through his head about Chelsea and thoughts about Nadia when he felt something gently touch his neck.  It began to pull him from his thoughts and then he felt it again.  AJ realized it was Chelsea’s lips as she softly kissed his neck.  Her hand slipped under his shirt and her fingers gently brushed along his abdomen.

 

He lowered his head and looked at her but before he could say anything her lips pressed against his.  Slowly their lips opened and slowly they closed as the couple lied together holding each other, loving each other.  AJ pulled away his lungs needing air; he opened his eyes and looked into hers.  As her hands explored his bare stomach and back he saw in her eyes what she wanted and what she needed.  Her lips trapped his as she began to kiss him again, her nails slid down his back and around his waist.  She began to tug and pull at his belt as she unbuckled his pants.  When his pants were loose she slipped her hand down into them and wrapped her hand around his semi erection.

 

The sensation of her hand stroking his shaft made his hands and body tingle as he began to pull her pants off.  Her kisses tumbled down to his neck as she pulled his jeans down and wrapped her leg over him.  They both lied on their side, their bodies tangled around each others as he slid himself into her.  He rolled her onto her back, making sure they weren’t close to the edge, as he felt his shirt go over his head and her lips returned to his neck.  Resting his left hand on the couch cushion AJ hovered above her, his lips explored her neck as he slipped in and out of her.  His right hand wrapped under her and pulled her hips against him when she reached behind her grabbing the arm of the couch.  She tilted her head and his lips climbed up her neck stopping at her ear.  A deep soft moan escaped his from his lips as he felt her lower body tighten around him.  He could tell this aroused her more when she bucked her hips against his. 

 

Their lips brushed over each others and she breathlessly moaned his name before he grabbed her lips in a kiss.  When his body began to tremble he lowered himself down and held her leg around his lower back.  She pulled her lips away and moaned in pleasure as she ran her nails down his sweaty back.  As her body tightened around him AJ hit his climax, grunting with each thrust into her and collapsed onto her when it was over.

 

When his strength and breath started to come back to him he slowly lifted his upper body.  She swallowed hard still some what out of breath and he couldn’t help but let a small smile escape from his lips before he brought them down onto hers.  Like a feather his lips drifted down the side of her face, to her neck and then her shoulder, lightly pecking the skin as they went by.  He sighed to himself when he felt her fingers glide through his hair and down the back of his neck. 

 

After a few more minutes of lying together on the couch the couple got up and got dressed.  They then returned to the position they were in when they first laid down.  Both on their sides, Chelsea lying against him, her head resting on his chest and their legs tangled around each others.  Calmly AJ laid there lightly rubbing her back like he was before and almost hypnotized at the sensation of her hand slowly sliding around his chest.

 

“Alex?” She whispered breaking the silence.

 

“Yeah sweetheart?” AJ replied.

 

“I want to find our daughter.” She spoke quietly not moving.

 

AJ wrapped his arms around her tighter, pulling her as close to him as he possibly could.  “Then we’ll find her.” He told her quietly before kissing her forehead. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 26

 

           

 

Chelsea stared back at herself as she looked in the tall floor to ceiling mirror.  The very white satin wedding dressed poofed out around her as the bustier top clung tightly to her upper body.  The lady around her fidgeted with the bottom of the dress as Anne, Kristin, and Denise praised the wedding uniform.  She saw the looks on their faces and sighed.

 

“I don’t like it.” She told them.

 

“What? Anne lightly gasped.

 

“How come?” Denise asked.

 

“It’s looks…” She looked back at herself, at the dress and frowned.  “It looks like it’s eating me.”  Kristin started to giggle and it made Chelsea smile.  “I don’t like the bottom part, don’t like the satin, I want something softer.”

 

“So you’ll probably want an A line its slimmer from the waist down and for fabric we have dresses from a Tulle material.” The dress maiden told her. 

 

“Ok” Chelsea nodded.  She went behind the changing wall and got out of the dress and put on the robe they gave her before walking back out to the small viewing room.

 

“You certainly know what you’re looking for.” Anne said jokingly.

 

“I kind of do.” She replied with a shrug and her mind went back to the night on the bus and AJ’s nightmare.

 

When the woman came back she handed Chelsea the new dresses and she went back and started to change again.  There was one large mirror behind the wall so she could see what she looked like first.  She turned around and as her eyes scanned the dress a small smile came across her face.  The white Tulle dress hung tight to her upper body, strapless, loosely bunched, the pieces of the material wrapped around the dropped waistline and fell down the back with the rest of the dress.  The garment hung close yet loose down her legs and just covered her feet. Chelsea started to giggle to herself a little excitedly as she found the dress she pictured when AJ described what he saw to her.  Well maybe it wasn’t the exact dress, this one was better. 

 

“If you don’t like this one…” Kristin sighed as both Anne and Denise smiled brightly.

 

“No, I think I like this one.” Chelsea smiled.

 

“Really?” The woman said.

 

“Yeah.” She nodded as she looked at herself in the three sided mirror.  “Definitely”  

 

 

 

 

“So where did Chelsea and them go?” Nick asked as him and AJ walked out of the restaurant.

 

“She went to New York with Ma, Anne and Kristin.” AJ told him as they stopped at the valet. “They’re coming back today, soon actually.” He said looking at his watch.

 

“Wedding stuff?” Nick asked.

 

“The dress.” AJ said as he raised his eyebrows.

 

“Oh, I see” Nick nodded back with a light smile.  “I guess it is almost that time.”

 

“Couple of more months.” AJ smiled.

 

“Were Jerald and Tim pissed you guys decided to get married so soon?” Nick asked.

 

“So soon? The wedding is in May.” AJ lightly laughed.  “And it’s small, in Cali, it’s not taking two years to plan.”

 

“I know, I’m just asking.” Nick replied at AJ getting a little defensive.

 

“Sorry, just tired of explaining.” AJ sighed.

 

“So I take it that’s a yes?” Nick said.

 

“Yeah but not from those two, she hasn’t seen or talked to them since Jerald showed up at our house New Years Eve night.” AJ told him. Nick looked at him confused.  “Kevin’s been a little pushy on the fact he wants us to wait.”

 

“Why?” Nick asked.

 

“Because of Nadia.” AJ told him as they reached AJ’s new Porsche.  “He thinks she’s using the wedding as a distraction and we should just take our time, see if we find out anything more but of course he harps on me not her.”

 

“How are things going with the Shrink?” Nick asked.

 

“Nothing new.” AJ said shaking his head.  “But the Doctor told her it would most likely be like that, she could remember during a session, or when she’s at home.” He said as he opened the door.  “Hypnotism is more like jarring the memory; some memories are easier to get out than others.”  AJ stopped and then sighed.  “But on the plus side her headaches have gotten better.”

 

“That’s good.” Nick said nodding.

 

“They don’t drop her like they use too, still pretty painful from what I can tell but she’s not so out of it when she goes through them, her Doctor even lowered her medication.” AJ told him.

 

“Well man it’s not like you can rush finding anything out on Nadia, so why put everything else on hold, and worry about it when or if it happens.” Nick said as AJ fidgeted with his keys.

 

“Yeah, that’s what Chelsea and I think.” AJ replied.  “Anyways dude, my lady has been gone for three days and she should be on her way or home by now so…” AJ said nodding to his car.

 

“Nympho” Nick sighed shaking his head.  “I’ll see ya at Chels’s Birthday party, thanks for dinner.”  AJ waved goodbye to him and climbed into his car.  As he drove home he began to run over the things he needed to do tomorrow for Chelsea’s birthday party and this one was a special one, her first one since she had been back.  Hard to believe she had been back for a year now but he was finally starting to get use to seeing her face again.  He smiled when he thought about the other things he had gotten use to seeing again, what a woman she had grown to become.

 

When he pulled into the drive way his heart fluttered and his stomach flopped when he saw the lights were on.  He got out of the car and headed to the door.  When he walked inside he was greeted by hyper dogs.  Showing his boys some love he stood and the door, wrestling with them a little bit.

 

“Chels?” He shouted as he stood up and headed down the hall.

 

“In the kitchen.” She replied and he smiled at her voice.

 

When he walked into the room he saw her standing at the island shaking up a salad, she put the container down and smiled as he walked over to her.  Without saying a word he took her in his arms and kissed her.  She gently placed her hands on the side of his neck as the couple made up for three days apart.

 

“I missed you.” He said as they pulled away.

 

“I missed you too.” She replied with a light smile.

 

“Did you find what you were looking for?” He asked as he continued to hold her.

 

“Yep.” She replied with a nod.

 

He raised an eyebrow. “Really? Is it here?”

 

“No, it needs to be altered a little bit; they’ll send it when it’s done.” She told him.

 

“Aww I wanted to see it.” He pouted as he let go of her waist.

 

“You can’t.” She replied looking at him with shock.  “You know the rules.”

 

AJ rolled his eyes as he sat down at the counter.  “So how broke am I?”

 

“Haha” Chelsea replied and he giggled.  “So what did you do when I was gone?”

 

“Hung out with Kevin, hung out with Nick, went to Tyler’s played some poker.”

 

“Did you win?” She asked.

 

“No”

 

“Shocking.” She sighed as she opened the fridge door.

 

“Hey” AJ pouted.  She pouted back as she kissed his temple.  “So how’s Ma?”

 

“She’s good; we actually went out for lunch together while Anne and Kristin went shopping.” She told him as she sat down at the island ready to eat her salad.

 

“Well good, I’m glad my two favorite ladies are getting along so well.” AJ said with a smile.

 

“So what time are we having dinner tomorrow?” Chelsea asked as AJ pulled a leaf of lettuce from her bowl.

 

“Seven.” He told her.  “I gotta go check emails; I’ll be in my office.” He told as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.  She lightly smiled with a mouth full of food as he walked out of the room. 

 

AJ sat at his computer typing out an email to Chris.  The sound of water running in the kitchen made him stop his fingers and listen.  He lightly smiled; it was nice having someone in there, slowly starting to live the life he had hoped for, one that started even before the thought of just wanting to be married, a life with her.  It’s funny the way Tim and Jerald acted you’d think they thought Chelsea and AJ wanted to get married at sixteen but that wasn’t it at all.  Sure he thought about it and she thought about it and yeah they did talk about it a couple of times but it didn’t mean they were planning it. They could just feel there was something special between them and the only ones who could find out what it was were them.  Now knowing they had a child together he found a new kind of love for her, a new kind of adoration for her as the mother of his child, even if they didn’t know who or where she was.

 

“Alex?” He heard her holler from the kitchen and it broke him from his thoughts.

 

“Yeah sweetheart?” He shouted back. When she didn’t say anything he took that as a sign and quickly got up from his desk.  He sprinted into the kitchen and found her sitting on the floor, leaning back against the cabinet.  “Chels?” He said as he knelt down beside her.

 

“I’m ok.” She said quietly as she placed her hand on his arm.  “Just need to sit until it passes.” 

 

“Do you want your meds?” He asked and she nodded.  AJ stood up and went to the cupboard where they were kept when the couple was home.  He grabbed a glass of water and then handed her the medication. 

 

Chelsea sat there for a moment with her eyes closed as he held her hand.  “Help me too the couch?” She asked.

 

“Of course.” He told her with a light smile.  Carefully he helped her stand up and he wrapped his arm behind her, around her waist.  They walked slowly into the living room and he helped her lie down on the sofa.  “Do you need a cloth?” He asked her as he sat on the edge of the couch, still holding her hand.

 

“No I’m ok.” She told him with a light smile.  “Just need to relax right now.”

 

“Oh they came to measure the pool for the cover for the wedding; they’ll be back in a couple of weeks to see if it fits and make adjustments.” He told her as he sat beside her.

 

“Good.” She replied with a light smile her eyes still closed.  “We still need to find some flowers.” She told him.

 

“We can do that some time this week.” He replied.  “How about I kick the dogs outside for a little bit and you take a nap?”

 

“Sounds good.” She replied and he could tell her pill was kicking in.  AJ stood up and pulled the blanket that sat on the back of the couch over her.  He leaned down and gently kissed her lips.  “Love you.” He whispered to her as he pulled away.

 

“Love you too.” She replied with a soft smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 27

 

           

 

            “Hey” AJ said as he held his front door open, looking at Kevin.  The cool breeze blew past him into his house.  “What’s up?” He asked letting Kevin in wondering when he’d start the wedding talk.

 

“Kristin and Chels left to go do wedding stuff and Mom took Mason out so figured I’d come over.” Kevin said as he closed the door behind him. “Do you have everything?” Kevin asked.

 

“Yeah Ma took everything to the restaurant already and is setting up the private room now.” AJ told him as he sat down on his couch.

 

“So I hear Chelsea found her dress.” Kevin said and AJ looked at him, waiting.

 

“That’s what she told me.” AJ replied back.

 

“Is she going to let you see it?” He asked.

 

“Nope.” AJ replied with a slight frown and Kevin smiled.

 

“I talked to Tim last night.” Kevin said and AJ didn’t say anything as he continued to look at Kevin.  “He wants to know why California.”

 

“As if it’s any of his business.” AJ replied sharply.

 

“Alex.” Kevin sighed.  “I told him I wasn’t sure why.”

 

“Cause we want it to be small, private, and we have special memories in Kentucky and Florida so we wanted to start some here.” He told his friend.  “We’re not rushing this.”

 

“You got engaged in October.” Kevin replied.

 

“And it’s a small, fifteen person wedding right there by my fence.” AJ said pointing out his window.  “What is there to plan?”

 

“She’s still dealing with a lot AJ.” Kevin said.

 

“And I’m not?” AJ told him.  “I’m the one she talks too, I’m the one that is around her, and I’m the one she shares the empty hole with.  I know what she’s dealing with and this wedding is something that we both want.  We just can’t sit around and wait for her to remember because right now we don’t have anything to go on.”

 

“But what happens when the wedding is over and all she has is waiting?” Kevin asked him.  “I’m not trying to come at you like my Brothers dude but you have to seriously think what is she going to do when this planning is over, when the wedding is done?”

 

“If you’re not trying be like you’re Brothers than stop acting like the only way she can be in this world is with some kind of damn career.” AJ shouted at him.  “She wasn’t chained to the wall in some room somewhere thinking, ‘oh geez I’ll never be this or I’ll never be that’, no she thought about not being able to get married, to have children, to just live, to be able to go out to dinner, to leave her fucking room.”

 

“What’s going on?” Chelsea asked as her and Kristin stood at the door.

 

“Thanks.” AJ sighed looking at Kevin before heading into the kitchen.  He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water as he heard Chelsea go off on Kevin.

 

“What did you say?” She demanded.

 

“I was just talking; I’m just a little worried Chels.” Kevin told her.

 

“Worried about what?” She asked then she grunted and rolled her eyes.

 

“That this wedding is a distraction.” Kevin replied.

 

“Here we go.” AJ whispered to himself as he listened.

 

“A distraction?” Chelsea replied angry and stunned.  “A distraction from what, from the fact I have a daughter out there some where?”

 

“Chels.” Kevin said hoping she would calm down.

 

“A daughter that may not even be alive.” She ignored him and continued.  “Is that what I’m distracting myself from Kevin, the thought of her every day, what she looks like, is she happy, what her dreams are, does she even know about me or Alex or does she think the people she’s with now are her real parents, the thought of walking into her life and ripping all of it away from her? Is that what I’m distracting myself from?” Chelsea yelled as she stomped her foot.  “Because I can tell you Kevin there is nothing that can distract me from that!”  She looked at him, seething, and angry.

 

AJ got up from his stool and walked out of the kitchen.  He walked down the hallway into the living room and for the first time seeing how mad Chelsea was.  “You should go man.” AJ told Kevin when he walked in.

 

“No” Chelsea snapped quickly.  “I’m not done.” She then looked back at Kevin.  “What do you think I should do? Sit around the house? Play with the dogs? Go back to school? Find this oh so wonderful career that I wanted. Umm, hello? I didn’t have career picked out, I was focused on Gymnastics, that was my life Kevin and it’s not like I can just jump back into it.”

 

“I just thought…”

 

“Exactly everyone keeps thinking for me, like I can’t do it on my own.” She said as she threw her hands up.  “I’ve had a long time to deal with myself, thirteen years to think about me, I think I can pretty much figure out what I want and who I am in that time.  I don’t need no damn school to tell me that, I don’t need you and I sure as hell don’t need Tim or Jerald to do it.” She took a deep breath and then sighed.  “Now you can go.” She told him pointing to the door.

 

When the door closed and Kevin and Kristin left the house Chelsea looked at AJ.  “What did I walk in on?” She asked.

 

“Just Kevin running his mouth about how we should wait, that you’re using this as a distraction from Nadia and what would happen when the wedding is over.” AJ sighed as he sat down on the couch putting his bottle on the table.

 

“What did you tell him?” She asked.

 

“How much of my yelling did you hear?” He asked back.

 

“No much.”

 

“I just told him there was no point in waiting cause we just don’t have much to go on right now and he started in the Jerald and Tim shit about how you should think about your life and what you want to do, that’s basically where you came in.” He told her as she sat down beside him.

 

“I get that they care but seriously it’s getting old.” Chelsea sighed.  “I already have two of them not coming to my wedding because of this I don’t want him to be a third.”

 

“Well I think you scared him enough that he’ll shut up now.” AJ told her as he put his arm across her shoulder.  She looked at him and lightly smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder.

 

 

Chelsea fixed the silver baby doll, empire waist dress she was wearing as she waited for AJ to hand the keys to the valet.  He took her hand and they walked into the restaurant together.  When they got to the host AJ told them his name and the man began to walk them into the dining area. He looked over at from the corner of his eye wondering what she was thinking.  AJ had told her they were going to dinner but he didn’t tell her everyone would be waiting for them.

 

“Right in here” The man said with a smile as he pointed to the back room with the large purple curtain hanging across it.  When AJ walked her inside everyone who was there shouted surprise at her and she froze in her spot.

 

“What’s going on?” She asked looking at AJ.

 

“Just a little surprise.” He replied with a smile.

 

“I thought you went home?” She said looking at Anne and Denise.

 

“No, we hid in the airport and took a different flight.” They told her smiling.  She rolled her eyes and looked at AJ.

 

“What?” He replied with a light laugh.

 

The couple said hello to everyone.  Howie, his wife Leigh, Brian and his wife Leigh-Anne, Denise, Anne, Nick and even Kevin and Kristin but Chelsea wasn’t really talking to him.  Soon after the couple arrived the food started to hit the table and the room was filled with talking and laughter.  When the food was gone the presents came out and when they were gone the cake came out.

 

It was almost one o’clock in the morning by the time Chelsea and AJ left the restaurant and headed for home.  The sky black but giving off tints of blue as it blended with the stars. The streets were silent beside just a few cars that would past them here and there.  With no traffic on the streets their time home arrived quicker.  They both got out of the car and met each other at the front, AJ wrapping his arm through hers and walked her to the door.  With the dogs at a ‘sitter’ for the night the couple got inside the door trip and stumble free.  AJ helped her take of her jacket and then hung it up for her as he hung up his. 

 

“I’m going to go changed.” Chelsea said as they walked down the hall.

 

“I’ll meet ya up there, going to check messages.” He told her before giving her a quick kiss.

 

AJ walked into his office and over to his desk, he skimmed through his emails, and listened to the messages on the phone, nothing major.  He then leaned over in his chair and reached down to the lower drawer in his desk.  Pulling it open half way he reached in and pulled out a white box about the size of a book, wrapped in soft purple paper with a soft purple ribbon crisscrossing over it.  Closing the drawer he smiled as he stood up and headed out of the office.  AJ walked right up stairs and into his room.  Chelsea was sitting on the bed rubbing her feet.

 

“I hate heels.” She sighed.  “Maybe I shouldn’t wear them for the wedding.” She looked up at him as he walked over to her.  “What are you hiding?”

 

As he sat down beside her he pulled the box from behind his back and handed it to her. “Your last present.” He told her.  “I wanted to give this one too you in private.”

 

She put the box on her lap and looked at it for a moment.  Slowly she started to open it and when she removed the paper it revealed a white box.  Pulling gently on the lid she lifted it off and pulled out the light purple leather covered book.

 

“It’s a journal.” He told her.  “You can write to Nadia and then maybe if we find her you can give it too her.”

 

Her hand drifted across the cover and then looked at him.  “Thank you.” She said with a light teary eyed smile.  Wrapping her arms around his neck she hugged him and he slipped his arms around her.

 

“Did you have a good time?” He asked as they sat embraced in each others arms.

 

“Yeah” She replied as she pulled away.  “It was fun and nice to see everyone together.”

 

“You barely said two words to Kevin.” AJ said with a light frown.  “I know you’re mad at him but this was your first birthday back with us.”

 

“I know” She sighed.  “I feel bad but when I saw him…I just got so mad again.”

 

He placed his hand over hers as it sat on the purple journal. “Maybe call him tomorrow?” 

 

“I will.” She replied with a light nod.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 28

 

           

            AJ leaned over the long wooden table, lining the long stick in his hand up with the white ball in front of him.  He concentrated picturing which of the stripped balls he wanted it to hit and ricochet into the whole at the other end of the table.  When he thought the two were lined up perfectly he pulled back on the cue and thrusted it forwards.

 

            “Ok I got a question and since Kevin’s not here yet I’m going ask.” Nick said as AJ sunk the ball into the side pocket.

 

“And that is?” AJ asked as he stood up and studied the table for his next shot.

 

“What was the sex like?” The youngest member of the band asked.

 

“Dude.” AJ replied mono tone and staring at him.

 

“No no, no disrespect man but I mean, she was sixteen you know and at sixteen she hasn’t really…she hasn’t…” Nick thought about his words.  “Well there’s a hell of a difference between the body of sixteen year old and one who’s thirty.” Nick asked honestly.  AJ sighed shaking his head.  “I mean wasn’t it weird, did you have to teach her stuff?”

 

“Carter” AJ sighed again as he leaned on his cue.

 

“I’m just wondering, don’t answer I don’t care.” Nick replied with a shrug.

 

He stared at his friend for a moment and then… “It was a nice surprise and I definitely don’t have any complaints about the sex.” 

 

“It would be weird for me, having all that experience.” AJ shot Nick a look.  “You got experience and don’t be a pussy and deny that.” Nick said quickly when he saw AJ’s look.  “But you got all this experience and the last time she did anything she was sixteen, I remember sex at sixteen and it wasn’t like it is now.” He let slip a crooked smile almost like he was remembering something. AJ rolled his eyes a looked back at the table.

 

“Ok fine but how long did you guys wait?” Nick asked dropping the subject for now.

 

“A while.” He replied as he leaned down onto the table again.

 

“Really?” Nick answered back a little shocked.  “After all that shit went down in the cabin, in Kentucky?”

 

“When we were on tour, in Europe.” AJ told him.

 

“On tour?!” Nick replied almost spitting out his drink.  “That long?”

 

“Ahh she had be held captive by her Father for thirteen years, don’t you think the last thing she’s thinking about is sex?” AJ asked as he stood back up.

 

“No” Nick replied.  “I mean the way she was acting around you I figured you two would have jumped at the chance.”

 

“Well we didn’t.” AJ said as he started to lean back down.  “Can I take this shot now?”

 

“Fine” Nick answered.  Leaning down again AJ lined up his shot like he did previously and pulled back on the cue but now his mind was cluttered.  Cluttered with thoughts of him and Chelsea that night in the hotel room, the way she felt against his skin, the way she touched him, kissed him and the way she made him feel that night.  He had to admit he thought their first time would have been very weird, like it was their first, first time all over again but it wasn’t.  In fact he had never had an experience like it before.  She may have been out of practice to everyone else but that night something told him she spent many nights thinking about them together like that.

 

“Hello!” He heard Nick say and he looked up.  “Shoot the damn ball.”  AJ quickly pulled on his cue and it smacked against the white cue ball and completely missed its intended target.

 

“Fuck.” He sighed.

 

“What the hell was that?” Nick asked standing up getting ready for his turn.

 

“You’re distracting me running your mouth.” AJ sighed. “Where the hell is Kevin?”

 

 

 

 

Chelsea sat on the couch flipping through a wedding magazine.  She was slowly learning how to enjoy being alone again; AJ went out with Nick and Kevin.  She wasn’t sure if it was the fact she was moving on from what happened with her Dad, or if it was the fact everyone seems to be in her business so it was nice to not have to deal with twenty questions.  Then the doorbell rang, sitting for a moment as she pondered who it could have been.  Getting up from the couch she walked to the door and looked out the peep hole.  A confused look came across her face as she began to unlock the door.

 

“Kevin?”

 

“Hey, can I come in?” He asked.

 

“Sure but I thought you were out with Alex and Nick.” She replied as she stepped back so he could enter.

 

“I’m meeting up with them in a bit.” He told her as they both walked into the living room.

 

“So what’s up everything ok?” She asked as she turned to look at him that’s when she saw the other two.  “What the hell are they doing here?” Chelsea said quickly as she pointed to Tim and Jerald.

 

“They want to talk.” Kevin told her.  “We all need to talk and sort this out.”

 

“I’m not the one who has to do any sorting.” Chelsea snapped as she stared all three men down.

 

“You’re getting married in a couple of weeks Chels don’t you want them to be there?” Kevin asked.

 

“No” She replied and she saw the hurt on all their faces.  “They haven’t supported this since day one why start now?”

 

“Why did you have to hide your relationship with AJ?” Tim asked.

 

“Because of the group, we saw what it did to Kevin and Kristin and we didn’t want that to happen to us.” Chelsea told them.  “Besides if you guys are this supportive now I could only imagine how you would have been back then.”

 

“Well back then he wasn’t…” Jerald started to say.

 

“Jerald.” Kevin said quickly stopping him.

 

“No Kevin.” Chelsea replied and then looked back at Jerald.  “Wasn’t what a former drug addict? Alcoholic? Cheater? What?” Chelsea demanded.

 

“All of the above.” Jerald answered sarcastically.

 

“I see” Chelsea said nodding.

 

“What about the baby?” Tim asked. 

 

“Don’t bring her into this.” Chelsea snapped defensively.

 

“You got pregnant at sixteen.” Jerald replied.  “If your Dad didn’t take you, you would have ended up ruining your life a whole lot sooner.”

 

That sent Chelsea on a tirade, she lunge at Kevin’s oldest brother and she almost made it too him if Kevin hadn’t of stopped her. “Maybe I would have, maybe I would have lost my Gymnastics career, maybe he would have been kicked from the group, and maybe I would have been disowned by this whole family but you know what Jerald?” Chelsea screamed at him.  “At least I’d have my daughter here with me!” She screamed at him and she jerked away from Kevin.  “But it didn’t happen like that!” Chelsea wailed at them.  “I was taken by him, I went through everything alone, hoping and prying that my baby would make it through, hoping and praying he wouldn’t hit me or do something to me to make me loose by child, only to have her ripped from me by him…” She stopped as a flash memory jarred into her head, it made her feel a little dizzy and she quickly sat down.

 

“Let’s go.” Kevin said pointing to the door.

 

“I’m not done.” Jerald replied.

 

“Yes you are, and I’m done too, it’ obvious the only out come that will work for you Jerald is for Chels and Alex to be apart and I’m sorry but while you were busy bitching I was busy watching two people love each other and help each other through a very difficult time.” Kevin told him.  “Since she’s been back he’s done nothing to make us think he would hurt her like you said he would, in fact if anything she hurt him when she broke up with him because of you two and his Mom.  All I’ve seen is a man take care of someone he loves very much, and if you’d stop bitching and acting like a little girl who got her dolly taken away you’d see it too.”

 

As Tim left the house with his brother Kevin turn around and looked at Chelsea sitting on the couch sobbing.  “Chels?”

 

“Just leave.” She whispered through her sobs.

 

 

 

“Well it’s about damn time.” Nick said as he opened the door and let Kevin in.

 

“Yeah, sorry I’m late.” Kevin replied walking in. 

 

“Getting some from the Mrs.?” AJ asked when he saw Kevin.

 

“I wish.” Kevin sighed as Nick handed him a Pepsi.  “Didn’t Chelsea call you?” He asked.

 

“No, why would she?” AJ replied with a confuse question.  Kevin sat there a moment and picked at the can tab.  “Damn it Kevin what did you do now?”

 

“It wasn’t me it was my brothers, well more like just one of them.” Kevin replied back a little defensive and he looked at AJ to see the man staring back at him, a lot like how Chelsea was looking at him.  “They wanted to talk to her so I took them over there.”

 

“Both of them?” AJ asked and Kevin nodded.  “Well for fuck sakes why don’t you just ambush her then?” He snapped as he put down his drink and stood up.

 

“Where are you going?” Nick asked.

 

“Home” AJ replied quickly as he grabbed his jacket.

 

“She’s our family too ya know!” Kevin yelled at him and AJ turned around.  “And I just wanted to get them talking again ok? I thought we were going to go over there and talk it out but I was wrong ok? So sue me for trying.”

 

“Not everything has to be so fucking perfect.” AJ snapped back at Kevin and then left Nick’s house.

 

He got into his Porsche and peeled it out of Nick’s driveway.  His hand tapped against the stirring wheel as he ran the image of Jerald and Tim “talking” to Chelsea and the more he thought about it the angrier he got, when he stopped at a light he picked up his phone and dialed his home number.  After a couple of rings she picked up.

 

“Hello?” She answered.

 

“Are you ok?” He asked without saying hello.

 

“I take it you talked to Kevin.” She replied with a sigh.

 

“Yes, I’m on my way home now.” He told her as the light turned green, he waited a moment for her to say something but she didn’t.  “Are you sure you’re ok?”

 

“Yeah, I just…” She stopped and he heard her take a breath.  “I think I remembered something.”

 

“I’ll be home in like fifteen minutes ok?” He told her when he hit another red light.

 

“Ok.” She replied and they said goodbye.

 

AJ walked into his house and saw her sitting in the living room with both dogs around her as they sat on the couch, he walked over to her and the dogs got up and left.  She looked up at him as he sat down.

 

“What happened?” He asked.

 

Chelsea took a deep breath and then answered.  “I was just sitting here and the door bell rang, I checked it and I saw Kevin standing outside.  I let him in and walked into the living room when I turned around Tim and Jerald were with him.” She explained as he took her hand.

 

“You didn’t see them at the door?” He asked.

 

“No” She replied knowing now they were staying out of view so she would at least open the door for Kevin.  “I asked why they were here and Kev told me he wanted the three of us to sort things out. I then told him I wasn’t the one who needed to do that, he then asked me if I wanted to work it out for the wedding and I told him no, what was the point they haven’t supported me or us up till now why would they want to start now?”

 

“What did they say to that?” He asked.

 

“They asked me why I didn’t tell them about us before, why we kept it hidden; I told them why and asked them what would have been the difference in the way they acted.”  She told him.  “That’s when they brought up the drugs and drinking.” AJ sighed, she squeezed his hand and he looked at her.  “I don’t care about that stuff you know that, I know what you’ve been through, I know what you were feeling, I know why you went there and it shouldn’t matter who they think you are, I know who you are.” She told him, he lightly smiled at her.

 

 

“What else happened?” He asked.

 

“They tried to bring Nadia into it.” She told him knowing it could make him snap.

 

“What?” He asked, his face an eerie calm.

 

“Well it was Jerald that brought her up not Tim and he just started spouting off about what things would have been like if my Dad hadn’t of taken me, and that’s when I lost it on them because…” She stopped and he could tell she was starting to get upset.

 

He closed his eyes as he pulled her into a hug.  “Because everything may have gone to hell but we’d have her.” AJ replied for her and all she did was nod as she wrapped her arms around him tighter.

 

“That’s when I had the memory.” She said quietly and he pulled away a little.  “I was so mad after yelling at him I thought I was going to have a headache but then it just started coming to me.”

 

“What did?” He asked her.

 

“I don’t know her name but I saw a woman, she had red hair, and I think green eyes. She was short and chubby.” She told him thinking.  “She helped me, I remember her helping me just before I had Nadia and I remember her being there when I had her.” 

 

“Like a nurse?” AJ asked.

 

“I’m not sure, I didn’t see a uniform.” She told him shaking her head lightly.

 

“We’ll call Doctor Zimmerson tomorrow and make a Hypno appointment ok?” He told her as he lovingly rubbed her arms.

 

“Ok.” She nodded with a light smile, a little more calmed and relieved he was home with her.

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 29

 

           

 

            AJ sat in a leather chair as Chelsea sat on the couch to his left.  He had just been asked in to the office by Doctor Zimmerson after Chelsea’s hypnotism session.  He wasn’t allowed to be in the room when it was going on but everything was recorded, it was basically for Chelsea’s sake, no unnecessary outside noise that could confuse her while she is under the effects.  AJ looked at her and he could tell she had been crying and he wanted to hug her but the Doctor told him on the first visit that she would need a few moments after she had been hypnotized to collect her thoughts.

 

“This woman that you saw definitely sounds like she was a nurse.” The Doctor spoke as AJ listened intently.  “So I’ll just give Alex a quick run down on what you remembered and saw.”  AJ took a deep breath, he wondered if she knew who this woman was, was this going to be it, was this the missing piece that would lead them to Nadia.  “Chelsea gave a very good description on what the woman looked like once she was under hypnoses. Red Hair, Green or Hazel eyes, short, chubby, and she said the woman had a little bit of an accent.”

 

“Accent?” AJ wondered.

 

“Sounds like a Northern accent perhaps, Minnesota, North Dakota, maybe even Canada.” The Doctor told him as he looked at his papers.  “And if this happened about eight to nine months into her captivity, they could have very well been in that area.”  The Doctor tapped his pen against his note pad.  “I will place a call into the Detective from the FBI that handled the case, see if I can get any information on what kind of time line they put together.  It could be helpful to them as well.”

 

“Ok” AJ nodded in agreement.  “Do you think this nurse took her?” He asked after a moment of silence.

 

“It would be nice to think so.” The Doctor replied. “But Chelsea isn’t sure if she was there the night Nadia was taken.”  He then wrote something down and then looked at Chelsea.

 

“I will make another appointment and have my assistant call you Chelsea but if you remember anything else please don’t hesitate to call.”

 

“Alright.” Chelsea replied with a nod.  It was the first time AJ heard her talk since he came into the room.

 

All three of them stood up and said goodbye.  As with most of the time after a session Chelsea was quiet but he understood, couldn’t have been easy reliving things again. Plus he had a lot on his mind, who was this woman and he started to wonder how many times he was in the same city as Chelsea and didn’t even know it.  Especially if she was in Canada, the group had a strong fan base up there and they toured a lot in that country when they first started.  How many times did he walk past her dad, how many times did she lie on a mattress trapped, missing him, wanting him, needing him, and he was twenty or so minutes away from her. The thoughts continued until he pulled into the driveway.

 

“So usual bath and nap?” AJ asked as he held the door open.

 

“Bath sounds good but I’m not that tired.” She said as she took off her jacket and hung it up.

 

“Ok, why don’t you go get ready and I’ll start the water for you.” He told her as they walked to the stairs.

 

“Will you join me this time?” She asked as she took his hand.

 

“Sure” He smiled at her and kissed the back of her hand.

 

AJ prepared the bath for them and joined her in the warm water.  He laid back against the back of the tub, letting her rest against his chest and they both began to relax from the stressful day.  His arms wrapped around the front of her as her head rested against his.  It was calm and peaceful just them, just like it use to be.

 

“Remember we use to joke about when we got older we wouldn’t be able to do this.” Chelsea said like she was reading his mind.

 

“I don’t think we could have, I just got a bigger tub.” He replied with a smile and she replied with a giggle.

 

“Only a couple of more weeks left.” He said in reference to their wedding.

 

“Yeah” She replied with a light smile.  “Is Kev still going to be your best man?”

 

“I dunno he really pissed me off with that stunt he pulled yesterday.” AJ told her but he knew he still would, he just wanted to make a point.

 

“They probably ambushed him too.” Chelsea said.  “And after what he said yesterday I’m pretty sure he’s over it too.” She told him as she played with his fingers.

 

“What did he say?” He asked.

 

“It was after I went off on Jerald, he told them he had had enough and if they would stop bitching they would see how much you love me by the way you’ve taken care of me since I came back.” She told him. 

 

“Well maybe I won’t fire him just yet.” AJ sighed as he lightly kissed her temple and she lightly laughed.  The couple feel quiet again both enjoying each others company.

 

Then Chelsea spoke up. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course.” AJ replied as he looked at her.

 

“What would have happened if my Dad hadn’t of taken me and then we found out I was pregnant.” Chelsea asked.  “They probably would have kicked you huh?”

 

“Maybe.” AJ said with a light shrug.  “But like you said none of that matters, that’s not what happened and we’re stressing over enough as it is to worry about the what if’s sweetheart.”

 

“Yeah” She agreed with a sigh but he knew like him she couldn’t help but wonder from time to time. 

 

“Besides let’s look at the up side, you remembered something and might have pin pointed an area to start looking.” He told her. “And maybe the FBI can piece something together.”

 

“I hope so; they’ve been pretty quiet about everything even to me.” Chelsea said.

 

“They probably have to cover their asses because they said he wasn’t a threat to begin with.” AJ replied remembering the phone call with her the night she found out.

 

Chelsea sighed.  “Mom was pissed.” She fell silent and AJ wrapped his arms around her a little tighter.  “You do know you haven’t told me where we’re going for our honeymoon.”

 

“I know” AJ replied with a light smile as he kissed behind her ear.

 

“Are you going to tell me?” She asked with a soft giggle.

 

“Not until that night.” He replied.

 

“Sometimes it’s a curse the way you are.” Chelsea smiled.

 

“Don’t I know it.” He replied before he leaned in and kissed her.

 

The water started getting to cold for the couple to be in it any longer so they both climbed out of the tub.  AJ drained the water and wrapped a towel around his waist, when he walked out to the bedroom he saw Chelsea lying on the bed, sleeping.  He walked over to her and pulled the blankets over her as she laid sleeping still wrapped in her towel.  Bending down he lightly kissed her forehead and then got dressed, quietly making sure not to wake her.  As he walked down the stairs the doorbell rang and he walked over to it checking to see who was outside.

 

He opened the door. “Hey”

 

“Hi” Kevin said with a light smile. “Is it ok if I come in?” He asked.

 

“Sure” AJ replied as he stepped back.  “But Chels is sleeping; we just got back from her appointment a half hour ago.”

 

“Appointment?” Kevin said confused.

 

“I booked her an appointment because of what happened yesterday, turns out it jarred something in her memory.” AJ told him as they sat down in the kitchen.

 

Kevin replied hopeful.  “Like what?”

 

“First.” AJ said quickly.  “I want to know why you let them come here yesterday.” Kevin sat in silence and it was a good thing because AJ wasn’t finished.  “I trust you Kevin; she trusts you and you just bring them here to ambush her like they did.”

 

“I didn’t know they were going to do that.” Kevin replied.  “Jerald said he was going to talk to her and apologize.”

 

“Well I hope they realize they are pushing her further and further away.” AJ said to him as he uncapped the lid to his bottled water.

 

“I don’t know what they’re thinking right now.” Kevin sighed. “But I wanted to come by and say I’m sorry, I should have known better, I just wanted them to work things out before the wedding because if they miss it they’ll regret it and I didn’t want her regretting it either.”

 

“I don’t think she will Kevin; she knows this on them and not her fault.” AJ told him.

 

“How mad is she at me?” Kevin asked.

 

“Not that mad.” AJ reassured him.  “She figures they ambushed you too and she knows you just want the fighting to stop.”  Kevin lightly smiled a little relieved to know Chelsea wasn’t too upset with him.

 

“So” Kevin said after the room went silent and AJ looked at him.  “What did she remember?”

 

He set his bottle down and took a deep breath.  “A woman.”

 

“A woman?” Kevin replied confused.

 

“She remembered that there was a woman helping her or her dad, what she looks like, and how she sounded, she remembers her being there and she remembers that the woman was there when she had Nadia.” AJ told him.   “Her Doctor thinks because of how the woman talked they may have been somewhere up in the northern states, maybe even Canada.”

 

“Wow” Kevin replied.  “When did it happen?”

 

“Yesterday she said she was yelling at Jerald and then she felt like she was going to have a headache but then she started seeing the woman and remembering.” AJ told him.  “I called her on my way home to see if she was ok and to let her know I was on my way, that’s when she told me.”

 

“Well it’s something.” Kevin replied.

 

“Yeah” AJ nodded.  “Her Doctor is going to talk to the FBI maybe they can help with some missing pieces.”

 

“So are we good?” Kevin asked as AJ downed the last of his water.

 

“We’re good.” AJ nodded.  “As long as this shit ends with Jerald and Tim, it’s on them now.”

 

“Done, over it, they need to grow up.” Kevin replied.

 

AJ was about to say something when Chelsea walked into the kitchen.  “Hey sweetheart everything ok?”

 

“Yeah” She replied as she sat down beside him.  “How long was I sleeping?”

 

“About twenty minutes.” AJ replied as he kissed her on top of the head and walked over to the recycling box.

 

“Oh my god he used it.” Kevin said shocked.

 

“Bite me Captain Planet.” AJ sighed as he returned to his seat as Chelsea laughed.

 

“So what are you doing here?” Chelsea asked looking at Kevin.

 

“Came to say I’m sorry and it won’t happen again.” Kevin replied hopeful.

 

“Better not.” Chelsea mumbled. “But I get why you did it.”

 

The couple sat in the kitchen talking to Kevin about how they hoped the day would go.  It was small and simple in the backyard looking out to the Hollywood cliffs.  He’d never thought he would see the day when he would have a small simple wedding but having Chelsea stand next to him made up for anything big he would have planned with someone else.  He use to only dream about the day that was coming, usually passed out some where after an all night binge.  A small smile crept across his face as he watched Chelsea and Kevin talk.  This was how it should be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                             Chapter 30

 

           

 

           

            May 13th 2009

 

I am sitting in my office behind my desk wearing the tux I picked out for this day.  We never really had a colour scheme; black and white was good enough for us.  Today is more about the day than anything we planned, that’s why today is a simple day, just our friends and family here to wish us well.  I can here the footsteps above me and sometimes I can hear the laughter of the woman upstairs.  I’m not allowed seeing her today, which was hard considering this was my house, well our house.  I was at Kevin’s for the night got ready there this morning and have basically been camping in my office since I got here.  Chelsea is upstairs getting ready, I know she’ll look amazing and beautiful and even right now it’s hard not to write without tearing up.  This day couldn’t be any more perfect.  Well it could, maybe if Nadia was here.  I think I am starting to feel what Chelsea feels.  At first it didn’t really hit me, but now as time goes on, I think about my little girl out there somewhere at least I’d like to think of her out there.  She should be here with us, to help her Mom and Dad celebrate this day, a day which has been a long time coming.  When I was at Kevin’s Anne and I had a talk, I guess she told Chelsea Tim and Jerald were here in California, and wanted to know under her supervision would they be allowed to come.  Chelsea told her that she was ok with it as long as I was.   I don’t think I would have said no, they are like her brothers, so if she wanted them here for it than that was fine.  But it’s kind of sad they need they’re Mom to make sure they behave.  Maybe they finally got it through their heads, then again maybe not and they’re just here to appease their guilt…

 

            “Alex darling?” Denise said as AJ looked up from his journal.  “Time to go outside.” She told him with a bright smile.

 

            “Ok, I’ll be right out.” AJ replied smiling back.  As she closed the door he looked down to his journal.

 

…Well it is time for me to go, time for me to see the most beautiful woman who has ever graced my life, well next to Ma.  I always tried to look for a woman who knew me, understood me, someone I could joke around with, have fun with, get mad at and not worry about her leaving me, but I would have to sacrifice one thing for another.  I always thought it was her, even when I believed she was dead, it’s why it hurt so much.  Now as I get ready to see her walk to me and we take our vows, I know why I went through so much pain.  When you share a soul with someone and the other half is taken away it hurts, it hurts like hell but now we’re whole again and the pain is gone.

 

“So are we ready?” Kevin asked as AJ walked out the back door.

 

“Very” AJ replied with an excited smile.

 

He looked around his back yard which was beautifully decorated with lilies and daisies.  Howie, Nick and Brian all sat in their seats with their significant others.  The sun had started to set and it splattered the yard with light.  The pool had been covered by a wooden platform where the altar stood.  He followed Kevin up there and said hello to the minister.  When he turned around he saw his Mom taking her seat beside Tony and she smiled at him.

 

This was it, soon Chelsea would be coming out the back door and his life with her would truly begin.  He felt his heart jump into his throat when the music began to play, nothing special just the soft sounds of a piano playing the classics.  His hands started to get sweaty when he saw Baylee come out of the back door and everyone giggled at his cuteness as he walked towards Kevin and AJ.  Then a second later Kristin walked out and he looked over at Kevin quickly who had a large smile on his face.  When Kristin started to walk down the small aisle towards him, everyone in their chairs stood up and looked over at the doors.  He stopped breathing, he stared, he waited, and then he saw her.  The dress flowed around her as she stepped outside and he smiled to himself when he noticed the similarities in her dress to the one he described to her that night on the bus.  Her hair which was down and lightly curled was adorned by a lace veil that hung down over her hair but didn’t cover her face. When she walked up to him and handed her bouquet of three Lilies to Kristin, she took his hands and all he could do was smile.  He wanted to tell her how beautiful, amazing and hot she looked but he couldn’t, the words just wouldn’t come out.

 

The Minister greeted everyone and began the traditional wedding ceremony.  AJ made sure he stared at the man standing in front of him; his brain didn’t seem to be working to well right now with all the emotions of the moment.  The realization that he was here and not just with her but the fact he was here at all, that he had found someone to share the rest of his life with and he told her just that when he read his vows to her.  When Chelsea read hers AJ found himself tearing up, the fact he made someone feel safe and loved was almost a little mind blowing to himself remembering how he could barely take care of himself not to long ago.

 

“Do you Alexander James Mclean take Chelsea May Stanley to be you lawful wedded wife?” The Minister asked him.

 

“I do.” AJ replied.

 

“And do you Chelsea May Stanley take Alexander James Mclean to be your lawful wedded husband?” He asked.

 

“I do.” She replied with a smile.

 

“Then by the powers invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The Minister announced to them and everyone else.  The family around them started to clap and cheer a little as the man looked to AJ and said.  “You may now kiss your bride.” 

 

Chelsea smiled lovingly at him as he leaned in and kissed her.  It was soft but passionate and when they pulled away both had tears falling from their eyes. 

 

“I love you.” AJ whispered as they rested their foreheads against each other.

 

“I love you too.” She replied with a light smile.

 

They turned to look at everyone who were now standing and clapping for the couple.  His Mom was the first one to come up to them and hug both, followed by Anne and Kevin then Kristin.  They made their rounds thanking everyone for coming and then the couple headed into the house for some private time while everyone else set up for the party.  AJ closed the door behind him as they walked into their bedroom and he walked up to her as she turned around.

 

“I must say you look stunning Mr. Mclean.” Chelsea said with a soft smile as he wrapped his arms around her and she adoringly ran her hands down the front of his jacket.

 

“And you Mrs. Mclean look absolutely beautiful.” He replied before they both kissed each other.  Gently his hand cup the side of her neck as their tongues tangled together.  When they pulled apart they wrapped their arms around each other and held each other as they stood in their bedroom.  “That dress looks awfully familiar.” AJ said as they pulled away.

 

“I saw it and thought it was perfect.” She replied as AJ’s eyes drifted down the wedding gown.  “So are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” She asked as he took her back into his arms.  He lightly smiled as his lips drifted down her neck.

 

“Nope.” He replied as he lightly kissed her skin.  “Not yet.”

 

“Tease.” She sighed.  He smiled back at her satisfied at the fact she didn’t know where they were going bugged her so much.  There was a knock at the door and AJ answered.

 

“Ready?” His Mom asked as she looked at the couple.

 

AJ nodded as he took Chelsea’s hand and they headed downstairs to the backyard. The sky was now dark but the yard was lit up by small hanging lights, almost like in his dream.  When they walked out Kevin announced them as Mr. and Mrs. Mclean.  The backyard had been transformed into a little reception area.  The Bride and Grooms table now sat where they had stood only moments before but before they could take their seats the couple had to have their first dance.  The song that played as they danced may have been a song playing in the background when they were young but it was also the song that reconnected them that night on tour.  As Bon Jovi’s Always flowed from the speakers the couple held each other as they swayed dancing to the song.  AJ couldn’t help but softly sing the song to her in her ear as their heads rested against each other.

 

When the song was over the couple sat down at their table and listened as family and friends talked about the couple.  Kevin told stories about Chelsea that AJ had never heard and made sure to mental note them to tease her later.  He talked about how surreal this day was for him and his family when only a little over a year ago, they thought Chelsea wasn’t with them.  Denise returned the favor by telling stories about AJ when he was younger and she talked about the times she thought her son would never live to see this day.  Soon everyone was enjoying themselves dancing to the music, laughing with each other and celebrating this very happy day.

 

AJ walked into his house and through the kitchen.  He walked down the hallway and turned up the stairs. It was time for him and Chelsea to leave for the airport.  The limo was here and all they needed to do was bring down their bags, Chelsea had gone up earlier to change.  All the guests were starting to gather outside the front of the house waiting for one last goodbye to the new married couple.

 

“Hey Chels the limo’s here.” He said as he opened the door and walked into the room.  She looked up at him a little startled and that’s when he saw she was crying or had been very recently.  “Hey you’re not supposed to be crying those kinds of tears today.” He told her as he walked over to her and sat down.

 

“I know, I’m sorry.” She replied taking a deep breath.

 

“Is everything ok?” He asked.

 

“I just got thinking about Nadia and how I wish she could be here.” Chelsea told him with a sigh.  “And then it got me thinking about my Mom and how she’s not here.”

 

AJ frowned and pulled her into a hug.  “I know I wish my grandparents were here.”

 

“Do you think we’ll ever find her?” Chelsea asked as she squeezed him tighter.

 

“Someday we will.” AJ told her as he gently pulled her away.  “I don’t care if I go broke hiring PI after PI to retrace everything your Father did, we’ll find her.”  She lightly smiled and then kissed him.  “Go freshen up, I’ll get the bags and we’ll head out.”

 

“Will you tell me where we’re going?” She asked with a small pout.

 

“When we get in the limo.” He replied with a smile and he could tell it wasn’t what she wanted but it will do.

 

When she went into the bathroom he picked up their bags and brought them downstairs.  He handed them off to Kevin and he took them down to the car that waited for them.  A couple of minutes later Chelsea came down and the couple started to say their goodbyes. After AJ said goodbye to his Mom he looked for Chelsea and saw her talking to Tim, Jerald, and Kevin.  He took a deep breath hoping everything was going ok.  A moment later she walked over to him and his Mom.

 

“Everything alright?” He asked as he watched Tim and Jerald get into a car and leave.

 

“For now.” Chelsea replied.  AJ was going to inquire more about it but decided to drop it and walked her over to the limo.  They said goodbye to everyone one more time and AJ reminded everyone not to party to hard in his house once they left. When they climbed into the car they both waved out the window as they pulled away and headed down the street.  AJ rolled up the window and took a deep breath and then let it out as the whole day sunk in.  He looked over to his wife who was staring at him and it made him smile as he took her hand.

 

“First we’re going to spend the next three days at the Peninusla in Beverly Hills and then on Saturday we leave for LAX and go to Italy for the week.” He told her as the smile on her face got brighter.

 

“Italy?” She replied a little breathless.

 

It made him smile and lightly laugh.  “Yes Italy.” He knew she had always wanted to go there.  “We’ll be staying in Rome and we can stay in our hotel all week or we can do the tourist thing.”

 

“Oh Alex.” She replied with a smile and hugged him.

 

“Words can not describe how happy I am that you came back to me.” AJ told her as he held her. “All I wanted was to have one more chance to tell you how I felt, how happy you made me, and now here we are, married and starting a new life together.”

 

Chelsea cupped her hand against the side of his neck as they pulled away.  “I love you.” She whispered as her eyes drifted around his face.

 

“I love you too sweetheart.” He replied and then leaned in and kissed her.

 

 

 

 

 

                                            Epilogue

 

           

 

            May 19th 2009

 

            Hi…I’m Chelsea and I’m your Mom, well your biological Mom.  Your Father gave me this journal so I could write to you.  This is the first time I’ve actually written something down.  I’ve tried many times late at night when I wake up from one of my nightmares but it’s just too hard.  What do I say; I wasn’t some young girl who didn’t know what I was getting into…Maybe I should start from the beginning.  Before I was even born my Dad went to jail, when I was sixteen/seventeen he was released.  He came after me and took me from my family and your Father.  I didn’t know at the time that I was pregnant but I found out while being held captive, your Dad didn’t know about you until I remembered years later.   I thought I would lose you before you were even allowed to take your first breath but you were strong and held on.  A couple of days after I had you my Father took you away from me and because of this I suppressed my memory about you and what had happened.

 

I hope you don’t think I abandoned you or forgot about you because that’s not true at all.  When the police and FBI found me thirteen years later I was a mess.  I could barely function and all I wanted to do was to curl up somewhere and go to sleep, forget about everything that had happened to me.  Then I saw your Father.  His name is Alex and you’ve probably heard of him, he’s in the group the Backstreet Boys, I heard they were pretty big and still are in a lot of places. When we were younger we loved each other very much and when I saw him sitting on the edge of my bed in the hospital I could still feel his love for me.  He helped me a lot; I don’t even think he knows how much.  Your Dad showed me what it was like to love again, to be loved again, he helped me see that there was a life outside of the rooms I was held in, and when I remembered about you he showed me that there was still hope. 

 

Hope…I named you Nadia, although I’m sure that’s not your name now but back when you were born I named you that because it was Russian for hope.  Hope that some day someone would find us, hope that someday I’d see your Dad again, that he would see you and hope that some day I would see my family and my Mom again.  When my Father took you away I had lost all of that, in a way I lost my hope but Alex brought it back to me and I know that someday, he’ll find you, we’ll find you, and I will see you once again.  Right now we’re waiting for the FBI to come see us when we get back, I’m hoping we get some sort of time line, maybe a place to start looking.

 

I’m sorry I guess I’m kind of all over the place. There’s so much I wanna say.  I can’t sleep and that happens a lot, usually I’m at home some place familiar but right now your Dad and I are on our honeymoon in Italy, so I’m finding it a little hard to sleep.  I get like that when I’m some place new. I guess for now I just want you to know how much I love you and how sorry I am if any of this is hurting you.  I just want to know you’re ok.  I would love nothing more than for you to be my daughter but I do know you have a Mom, who loves you very much I’m sure, at least I hope.  You have a family already and I’ve already seen you get ripped away from one; I don’t want to see it happen to you again.  Like I told you I don’t really remember, I remember days, some weeks, I remember when you were born but I don’t remember where we were or where you went and my father wasn’t going to tell me and he didn’t tell me. So I really don’t know if you’re alive or dead right now but I choose to believe you’re alive.  I just want to know you’re ok, happy and loved.  I know I speak for your Dad when I tell you that’s all we want.  I think Alex is waking up so I better stop here, not sure what else I can say right now.  Thanks for taking the time to read this if you are, I hope I can get to know you and find out the person you’ve become but if not that’s ok too, like I said before, I’m just happy you’re ok.

 

Love, Chelsea (Mom)