I don’t know when it started. Really, I blame myself. I was the one on the health kick, and hell, I wanted everyone else in on it too. How was I supposed to know what would happen? No one could’ve predicted the future. We were on the “Phoenix” tour, for the latest album of the same name. Kevin returned, people were talking about how we rose from the ashes of the 90s to revive our career on our 20th anniversary. The single that was released caught a lot of attention, we surprised people. Really, we were on top of the world.

Until the day we were supposed to perform in Las Vegas. We were almost at the venue, but we’d stopped for some food. Well, for the others. Me, I was pretty set on that end.

But everything changed in a moment of time.

“You must kill them.”

Four words, barely audible, but I heard them. How could anyone not hear something like that?

“Howie?” I called out as I walked down the aisle of the bus. We decided to share one, just like we did in the beginning, a back to basics sort of thing. So far it was pretty cool. Sure I was driving Kevvy-Kev crazy, but that’s something I just always had a talent for thank-you-very-much. I thought the bus was empty, the others all went to KFC’s to grab some food. I stayed behind in the bus to eat some of the food I’d bought at the grocery store a couple stops back. I was craving some fruit.

Grapes, specifically.

“No. Not Howie.”

There was that voice again.

“Hello?”

“Over here on the counter dumbass!”

I whirled around, all that was there were the grapes. I rubbed my eyes, trying to come to my senses. I was tired from the nonstop tour. That had to be it right? Food doesn’t talk. I can’t be hearing voices. That would be just be insane. And I’m not crazy. I can’t be crazy.

I’m not crazy.

“You must kill them Nick…”

I should’ve ignored it. I should’ve just walked off the bus then and there. Gone to find the others. To ask for help, to find a way to wake up from this new living nightmare. An escape from the voices that have to be in my head. Not these god damned grapes staring me down. That’s not what I did. I didn’t even attempt to walk away. I should have.

Instead, I simply asked. “Kill who?”

*****

I was walking up the steps to eat with Nick. Kevin, Howie, and AJ were all eating inside the empty fast food place, but I brought my food with me. The two of us had really connected on this tour, in a way we hadn’t done in years. It almost felt like the old days, back to Frick and Frack truly, instead of just saying we were. It was really amazing, seeing my best friend finally have his life back on track. He was so happy, so carefree, and had beaten the demons that had chased him for so long. I opened the door, only to hear a conversation going in full force. I was about to back out, assuming it was Lauren. We had all vowed not to bring the families or significant others this tour, which was definitely hard for me. Yet, we all kept our word. Phone calls were pretty frequent as a result, and I wanted to give him his privacy.

“I can’t kill them…”

Wait, what?!

That was when I walked in. “Nick, you have to.” An unfamiliar voice replied calmly. “You all do.”

Nick whirled around as I approached. His face was white as sheet, his eyes wild. “Brian I…”

“Brian, you must help Nick kill them.”

I turned; trying to find whoever it was saying that. The voice, it was so soothing, so hypnotic. Not that I was listening. That was crazy. I couldn’t. Killing is wrong. It’s a sin. Why would any of us even be talking about killing anyway? The idea itself was just horrific. I looked at Nick, who kept staring at me, gauging my reaction.

“Brian, it must be done, you must kill them…”

“Nick, who’s saying that?” Stay calm Brian, stay calm.

He licked his lips, looking like he didn’t want to answer. I couldn’t blame him. I don’t think I would want to either. His eyes were skipping around unfocused, harried. His hands kept moving. All in all, he looked on the verge of losing it. I felt a chill run down my spine. I was never afraid of any of my band mates, they were my brothers. Not even when AJ was at his worst, was I ever afraid.

I was now.

“Here Brian, we’re over here this time.” Multiple voices, yet all the same. I glanced at the source. No. That couldn’t be possible. I couldn’t even let myself think of the reality before me. Was it reality? I stared down at the counter, at the grapes. At the tiny faces upon each and every one of them. I had to be dreaming. Yes, that’s it. It was a dream. This couldn’t be real. If it was real, I’d be certifiably insane. I can’t be crazy. I don’t feel crazy…

“You must kill them all…”

I didn’t want to listen. But the voices, the way they soothed me, washed over me…

Impossible to deny.

Even as they sent you into eternal damnation.

*****

I followed Kevin and Howie back to the bus. The driver had gone on ahead. It felt great, having Kevin back. I knew I’d been the one missing him the most. I was the one who couldn’t accept it. Kevin wrapped his arm around me with a smile. He had this way of making us all feel stable, even at our worst moments. He saved my life so many times. It was amazing he still had so much faith in me. How many times had I fallen? How many times had I let myself go back to drowning inside a bottle of alcohol that called my name?

Still he stayed.

“Penny for your thoughts Bone?” I think he’s the only one who still calls me that.

“Shit they ain’t worth that much, just thinking about how far we’ve come.”

Howie glanced back at me and winked, causing me to laugh. His old trademark had gotten to be joke within the group a long time ago. It was something Lou had come up with in the beginning days. It was just so cheesy and over the top. And that was even for D’s standards.

“Well, I-” Howie never got to finish his thought as his words were cut off by a terrifying scream that cut through to my soul. It came from the bus. We rushed forward, thinking the worst, thinking of Nick, thinking of Brian.

I wish we hadn’t.

It was Kevin who took the lead, as always. It was something he couldn’t help. He was the “daddy”, he was “big bro”, and he was the one who always kept control, or took it back if control was lost. He rushed inside; I could just see it through the open door. An axe, probably one of those “in case of an emergency” ones found in random places, slicing through the air. Into Kevin’s neck. The force coming from it was immense. Enough to decapitate him. His head flew through the air, his head. His eyes were open, caught forever in what Nick always dubbed as the “dirty brow” stare.

I wanted to vomit. Puke my everlasting fucking guts out.

Howie ran through the doors next. I was only steps behind him. Enough time for the shots to miss. Not enough time to miss being sprayed with the blood of my best friend as he fell back into my arms. I caught him in the doorway, staring down at him in shock. His face bloodied and forever marred by the bullets that had slammed directly into his forehead, one of his eyes. No longer would he be alive to give us that wink. That goofy grin. Tears fell as I stared up at the men who murdered them.

Nick.

Brian.

Two men I’d known for practically my entire life.

Epilogue

Now I sit in a padded cell. They say I’m crazy. I ain’t crazy. It’s not my fault. I know it wasn’t. I was manipulated I tell you! Those grapes, those damn grapes. I know what they said. I know. Why won’t anyone believe me? I’m a singer, an artist, a performer. I’m not a killer. I don’t even remember it really. It was all a blur. I remember hearing the grapes, and seeing Kevin’s head lying on the floor. I had fallen to the ground, sobbing. I kept crying as AJ screamed at me. At Brian, who couldn’t take what we had done.

I don’t remember what he said.

Brian shot himself, screaming at the grapes as he did. He screamed out prayers to God as he did it. I don’t know why. Isn’t suicide a sin too? I can’t remember. I just remember him shooting himself, bits of his brain hitting the ceiling. Blood was everywhere, on me, like a sick paint spill. His body crumpled like a rag doll beside where I was. I was caught between the two dead cousins. I was screaming. I couldn’t stop. Even after my voice was gone. When the police came, I tried to tell them. I tried. All they did was laugh and go “what grapes?”as they pointed at the counter.

There weren’t even any grapes there.

I’m telling the truth. I know they are out there, waiting, maybe destroying some other poor soul’s life.

I’m not crazy.

I’m not crazy.

I’m just me.

It wasn’t my fault.

It was those grapes!

Those fucking grapes!