prologue

A soft knock at the dressing room door announced a visitor. Brian was still angry about what just had happened during the small break after sound check. With a sigh he opened the door. It was Nicky, an employee from the BSB production crew.

“What do you want?” he  frowned as soon as his eyes caught hers.

Nicky stared at the ground feeling guilty for the way she made fun of him. “I want to apologize” she said quietly.

Brian didn’t broke his glaze at her. “ Don’t bother. I’m not accepting your apology. Sometimes you cross lines with these so called jokes. You’ve messed with the wrong person lady” he said resentful.

“Please listen, I want to apologize for my behavior. I’m sorry I shouldn’t make fun of others” Nicky started as her voice trembled while her face turned in a dark shade of red as she tried to look at him.

“I’m not deaf” he interrupted her “I heard you the first time. But knowing you’re not deaf either, tell me which part of I’m not accepting your apology you don’t understand?” Brian’s voice sounded sharp while he still looked at her with resentment.

A tear rolled over Nicky’s cheek. “ Oh you don’t have to cry, Nicky. Seriously, it’s not gonna work this time. Now maybe you can go suck up on someone else”. He said cold and slammed the door in her face leaving her outside in the hallway all by herself.  

Nicky was stunned. It took a couple of seconds to realize what had happened. She turned around and  walked back to the main stage. With her mind still at Brian she bumped into Nick.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. You’re not hurt right?” Nick startled.

“No, I’m fine. I wasn’t paying attention either” Nicky sighed.

“Is everything all right? You look worried”

“No it’s not. I went to Brian to apologize for what happened this afternoon” she paused as she felt a big lump in her throat “and he didn’t want to listen” she gasped for air “he even slammed the door in my face” as tears rolled down her face.

Nick placed his bag on the floor and wrapped his arms around her for comfort “Sssshht, it’s okay” he held her close. Somehow they always seem to burst into tears whenever he was around, so he always ended up trying to comfort them. He wondered why he was the “crying woman magnet”. It made everything so complicated.  “I’m sure that, whatever happened, if you give him some space everything is gonna be okay. His life hasn’t been easy this last year.” he said quietly.

“I don’t know Nick” Nicky sighed as she relieved herself from his wrap. I think I did cross a line this time”.

“Tell me what happened”

“Well, we had a break after sound check. You left to go for the backstage tour and me and the others were picking on each other, just for fun. So I started picking on Brian and I made a, now I realize afterwards not so funny, comment about his religion” she started telling.

“O oh, do I wanna know this?” Nick knew this was bad news. Sure Brian was usually the biggest clown of them all. And when people played jokes on him he was the one that most of the time had the loudest laugh. But when it came down to his religion he was as serious as hell. Jokes about that subject were a big no go. And no one ever tried to make fun of him and his passion for his religion. “What did you say to him” he asked with his eyes closed.

She told Nick that she had said that God didn’t save his relationship so what’s the point in believing anyway.  Nick shook his head in disbelief. “I now understand why Brian reacted the way he did. Maybe you should give it a rest and leave him alone for a while” he sighed “Listen Nicky, sometimes it’s better to swallow your words instead of blurting them out without thinking. Just because you think it’s funny it doesn’t mean you can go make fun of others. You can seriously  hurt other people’s feelings. You might get in big trouble because of this. And I think you’re lucky if Brian doesn’t complain about you to Jenny. This might cost you your job, you know.” He looked worried.

“I know, I’m so sorry and I don’t want to lose my job” she sobbed “It’s the best job I ever had. I really want to make it up with Brian too, Nick. Tell me what to do” she panicked.

“Like I said, leave him alone for a while and show him you’ve changed. That you’re considerate about  someone else’s feelings. Show him your respect by letting him be” he sighed.

“Maybe that’s indeed the best thing to do” Nicky sighed whipping the tears of her face “Thank you for listening”.

 “Anytime sweetie” he looked at his watch and noticed it was time to go “I have to go now” he hugged her.

“Sure, I understand. I see you at dinner” she said quietly feeling all alone. This situation was killing her.

“Meanwhile, try not to think about it too much. Let it go. Brian is not the kind of person to stay mad for long periods of time” Nick tried to cheer her up. He cupped her face with his hands and gave a little kiss on her forehead “Trust me, you’ll see”.

He let go of her and ran off to the rehearsal room.        

 

Brian still felt angry. He knew he had to hurry to get into the rehearsal in time. He went out of his dressing room and hurried to the rehearsal room. While on his way he passed Nicky and totally  ignored her. He shook off what happened in order to focus for tonight’s show.

“Hey bro” AJ greeted him “cooled down a little?” he slapped him on his shoulder.

“Yeah I am” Brian sighed “but I’m still angry at her. She came at my door to apologize but I didn’t accept it. She has to learn to keep her mouth shut. Not everything she thinks is funny can be blurted out like that. It ended up that she started to cry and that’s when I slammed the door in her face. I’m done with her AJ”.

AJ frowned “Really?”.

“Yeah, I’m serious. It’s best for her if she stayed out of my way. But I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. Let’s rehearse” Brian shook his head and dropped his bag in the corner of the rehearsal room.

The other four guys exchanged glares knowing it was better not to push the subject any further today. They practiced the most difficult dance routines and after a small hour they, after they refreshed themselves, where ready to have dinner. 

"Siberia"

When you come back I won't be here
She said and gently pulled me near
If you want to talk you can call
And no it's not your fault

I just smiled and said let go of me
But there's something that I've just gotta know
Did someone else steal my part?
She said it's not my fault

Then my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too

I was drifted in between
Like I was on the outside looking in, yeah yeah
In my dreams you are still here
Like you've always been

Oh yeah, my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too

I gave myself away completely
But you just couldn't see me
Though I was sleeping in your bed
'Cause someone else was on your mind
In your head

When I came back she wasn't there
Just a note left on the stairs
If you want to talk give me a call

My heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
When the one that you want doesn't want you

My heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too

Siberia, Siberia
When the one you want doesn't want you too

 

Brian sat, by his self, at the round table near the buffet with a plate of food in front of him. He thought about how messy his life had been these last couple of months. Especially the situation with Leighanne. They had been married for a couple of years and everything seemed fine. There was absolutely no reason to doubt that anything wasn’t as it was supposed to be.

He remembered that particular day as if it was a movie. He went out with Nick to have lunch and to record some stuff in the studio at Nick’s place. It was a very productive day with a lot of laughter. He and Nick where friends from the beginning of the Backstreetboys. They had been through so much together. Their relationship was based on trust and loyalty. Nick was the little brother he never had and they grew up together. Nick had been telling him about a girl he had been seeing. He wanted to introduce her into the group.

It was a joy for Brian to see Nick this happy. Nick had been in a lot of drama earlier with his little brother and sisters while the recordings of the Carters took place. He had a lot of unfinished business that needed to be taken care off during that time. It was in that time that Nick and Brian got in an argument that almost cost them their friendship and almost was the final end of the Backstreetboys. Nick had been experimenting with drugs and alcohol. He partied a lot and basically turned his back on the rest of the group. When Brian tried to talk to him about his behavior Nick shouted at him that he wanted to be left alone. Nick yelling at Brian that he needed to f*ck of to go read his bible was the final ingredient to almost destroy a friendship that already lasted for years.

 Brian punched Nick on his nose and stormed out.

After being on non speaking terms for a while Nick came back to his senses he approached Brian to apologize and Brian accepted it. This all happened in the last year.

Back to that day Nick showed a picture of his new girlfriend. Her name was Lauren. He told Brian that she was making him happy. A normal girl who loved him for him and not for his status as a Backstreetboy. He even introduced her to his parents and even his mom loved her.

After the lunch and the recordings they drank a cold beer outside in the garden and Brian decided to go home a little earlier than he told Leighanne he would. He wanted to surprise her and spend a romantic night with her. So on the way back home he bought her flowers from her favorite florist and a bottle of pink Champaign.

He came home and noticed that she wasn’t in the living room or in the garden. The tools of the gardener where all over the terrace as if he’d left in an hurry. He decided to talk to him about the next day.

“Leighanne?” he raised his voice in the hallway. Still no sign. That was weird. Maybe she was upstairs. She probably took a little nap before she started to cook dinner. Maybe he could join her. Brian walked up the stairs, silently.

He opened the  Oakwood bedroom door and  found her in bed with the gardener. At first he thought his eyes played tricks on him. Only the moaning from Leighanne and the gardener quickly got him out of that thought. To make matters even worse, she wore the lingerie Brian gave her last month to celebrate the anniversary of their wedding day.

Like a zombie he’d left the bedroom and headed downstairs. He needed to get away from that place.

He vaguely remembered something about her running after him with nothing more than a sheet covering her naked body shouting and crying that this wasn’t what it looked like and begging him to come back so that she could explain. Well the image of her on top of the gardener, partially naked and all sweaty and moaning in the bed that Brian and Leighanne had purchased right after their honeymoon didn’t need any further explanation.

He grabbed his coat and keys from the dining table and rushed outside to his car. On automatic pilot he drove back to Nick’s house.

Nick was in shock when Brian told him what happened.

“Oh my God, Brian no. Tell me your joking”.

“I’m not, it’s done” tears appeared in Brian’s eyes.

Nick prepared a bed for him in the guestroom and told Brian he could stay as long as he wanted.

That first night Brian didn’t sleep at all. Every time he closed his eyes the picture of Leighanne with the gardener.

The next day and the other days that followed brought him a tsunami of text messages and missed calls from Leighanne.

Brian felt like a zombie. Days turned into nights and sleepless nights into blurry days. He felt hurt. How could she. The woman he loved so very, very much cheated on him. The one guarantee he thought he had turned out to be a big lie.

Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night

Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That since I lost you, I lost myself
No I can't fake it, there's no one else

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

 

After a little more than a week he agreed to meet Leighanne for dinner in their favorite Italian restaurant to discuss the next step.

He was busy changing his clothes in the guestroom when there was a knock on the door.

“Hey Bro, do you mind if we talk?” Nick entered the room.

“Sure, I’m just changing my outfit for tonight”.

“Are you going out?”

“Yep” he pulled the shirt over his head.

“Anyone I know?” Nick grinned.

“Yes, it’s Leighanne”.

“Okay, didn’t see that one coming. Are you guys trying to fix what happened?” he carefully asked.

“No, that’s out of the question. I agreed to meet her at Gino’s to discuss what’s gonna happen next”.

“And… have you figured out what that next step’s gonna be?”

“A divorce. I can’t stay married to her Nick. I can’t trust her anymore. She went over that line” Brian felt tears in his eyes again.

Nick got up from the bed and hugged his friend “Listen, I want you to know that no matter what happens I will be there for you.  No woman is worth that kind of pain. I know you love her with everything you have inside and I know this hurts like hell. But I promise you, it’s gonna be better. Believe me”.

“It hurts Nick, it hurts so f*cking bad” tears rolled over his cheeks.

“Shhht, it’s gonna be okay, I’ll promise” Nick comforted his friend. He felt bad for him. “I’ll stay up for you tonight ok. When you get home we’ll talk about your meeting with Leighanne and I think it’s a good idea to get wasted tonight. What do you think?” he smiled.

Brian smiled back through his tears “good idea bro’”.

 

An hour later Brian arrived at Gino’s. The waiter guided him at their table near the window. After ten minutes Leighanne arrived. She wore a Wylee black dress and killer heels. Even though they were going through this mess she looked sexy as hell.

“Hi” she gave him a little smile.

“Hi” he answered and stood up to get her in her chair.

“How are you?”

“Not so well, and you?”

“Me neither”

“You really hurt my feelings”

“I know… for what its’ worth I’m so terribly sorry. It was a mistake” tears welled up in her eyes “if I could turn back time I would”.

“But it happened, and that’s something we both have to deal with”.

“Do you think counseling is an option? I don’t want to lose you Brian” she said with a horse voice.

“I… I don’t think so. You betrayed me baby. I don’t think I can get passed that”.

Brian saw that Leighanne was getting emotional. Right at that point the waiter stopped at their table to get their order.

They ordered a bottle of red wine and a light salad and bread to go with it.

“I’m so sorry Brian, I love you….” Brian stared at the table “ I can’t live without you” she whispered fighting her tears.

“I love you too sweetheart but I can’t do this. The thought of you and that guy kills me” Brian had to suppress the urge to hug her.   

“Are you angry?” a tear rolled over her cheek

“At first I was. But now I’m just feeling very sad and very disappointed. I thought we belonged together you know. When we exchanged our vows in front of God and our families I expected that it would be forever. But unfortunately I was wrong”.

The waiter brought their wine and bread with garlic butter.

“What can I do to make it up to you?”

Brian took a deep sigh. He got emotional “You can’t” His eyes got wet from tears. “I want a divorce”.

“No” she couldn’t fight her tears anymore “Brian please, give me a chance to make up for this”.

“I wish I could” Brian sighed.

“But I love you” she sobbed.

“I love you too, with all my heart. But what you did is unforgivable. You ruined our marriage Leighanne. Can’t you see?”.

“But true love can overcome anything. Please give me a chance. I beg you”.

“I can’t”.

Silence fell for a little while. Both Leighanne as Brian had to digest what had been said.

A text message came in on Leighanne’s phone. As she picked up her phone to see who it was Brian couldn’t help it “So is that gardener boy?”

Leighanne turned red as a tomato “No, it’s mom asking me how I’m doing and if I need anything”.

“Oh” despite everything that she’d pulled him he felt embarrassed for his comment.

The waiter came back with their food.

During dinner they hardly spoke to each other.  It felt awkward.

After dinner he paid for the bill and they left the restaurant together.

“Leighanne, do you mind if I stopped by the house tonight to get some of my clothes?”

 “No of course not. You can come with me right now if you want. And to tell you the thruth, I came here by cab so if you could give me a lift home that would be great”.

“Sure, why not” he mumbled.

While driving home he turned on the car radio so that they didn’t have to talk.

As soon as they arrived at the house Brian quickly ran inside to the bedroom to pack a suitcase. While busy packing he felt Leighanne’s arms and hands wrapping around him from behind. She turned him around to face her and before he knew it they were wrapped up in a passionate mind blowing kiss.

She pushed him on the bed and positioned herself on top of him continuing the kiss.

Brian interrupted her by grabbing her wrists. In a smooth move he changed position and came on top. “What are you doing?” he whispered, overwhelmed with what happened.

“What does it look like? I’m trying to fix my mistake baby. I am gonna let you forget everything that happened.” she smiled sensually and tried to continue the kiss.

Brian pulled back from her and got up from the bed. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this” he walked away from her to get his suitcase.

“What do you mean you can’t do this?” Leighanne rushed up to him and grabbed his arm. “I’m your wife damn it. Of course we can do this.”

Brian pulled himself loose from her. “Let’s see, how can I make it clear to you? You should’ve thought about this before you jumped in bed with bush boy. It’s too late Leigh. You’ve had your chance. It’s over”.

 “Nooooo” a loud scream and an even louder sound of a smashing door behind him gave him the confidence to do what needed to be done. He walked downstairs to the cabinet and got some other personal belongings like his passport, check book and credit cards and a picture of them together. It felt strange but for some reason he felt he needed to.   

 

He walked out of the house and drove back to Nick’s.

When he came through the front door Nick walked up to him whit a bottle of beer. “Before you give me all the details what happened I suggest we toast on your new found freedom and drink this beer to celebrate” he smiled.

“Great idea bro” Brian smiled back.

One beer became two, two became three, three became six and before they knew it they were completely wasted.

On Youtube they searched for Carly Ray Jepsen and imitated her. After the original they searched for all the parodies made on her song and they laughed until their cheeks hurt.

After a couple of more beers Brian started telling about his relationship. Nick listened to him and every now and then blurted out a funny comment.

“I still love her bro’.” Brian laughed.

“Then get her back” Nick giggled.

“No I can’t”.

“Let me imitate someone for you ‘Yes you can’” he laughed with low voice.

Brian literally rolled over the coach laughing. After he was done laughing “No seriously, it’s over”

“Then, since your back on the market, we are gonna find you a nice lady. It’s party time”.

They fell asleep on the coach, completely wasted. After a couple of hours Nick woke up in the middle of the night feeling hungry. He got inside the kitchen to bake some hamburgers. The smell of the cooking woke up Brian too.

They ate a couple of burgers and went to their own rooms to get some sleep.

Oh oh oh oh,
Oh oh oh oh,
Oh,
Yeah,

You had me waitin even on the second date,
I picked you up I took you to your favorite place,
I saw you flirtin but I looked the other way,
Away, away, away, hey,

You pulled me up and said you had a place to go,
Just grabbed my keys, you took my car and stole my phone,
I know I shouldnt but I let you get away,
Away, away, away,

But Im not a player,
Im not a clown,
I wont be a puppet,
Just hangin around,
You need another man to put diamonds on your hands,
And let you take his car,
I found out who you are,
I finally figured you out,

Oh no,
I should've seen it comin you were just pretend,
You just took my credit card and maxed it til the end,
I wish Id known before I hit the ATM,
Oh no,
It happened again,
(Oh yeah)

Im not a player,
Im not a clown,
I wont be a puppet,
Just hangin around,
You need another man to put diamonds on your hands,
And let you take his car,
I found out who you are,
I finally figured (I figured you out),
I finally figured (oh figured you out),
I finally figured (oh yeah) you out,

Im goin away (far, far away),
Im goin away (so far away),
Im goin away (far, far away),
Im gonna pack your bags and kick you out,
Im sorry but I figured you out,
(Figured you out, yeah),
So long, so long,
Farewell,

(Cause) Im not a player,
Im not a clown,
(I wont be) I wont be a puppet,
Just hangin around,
You need another man (diamonds on your hands) to put diamonds on your hands,
And let you take his car,
I found out who you are,

(Im) Im not a player,
Im not a clown,
I wont be a puppet,
Just hangin around,
You need another man to put diamonds on your hands,
And let you take his car,
I found out who you are,
I finally figured (I figured you out),
I finally figured (oh figured you out),
I finally figured (oh yeah), you out.

 

The divorce quickly followed and he learned that this incident was just a small part of the long affair she had been in.     

Unexpectedly though the divorce went smooth. Leighanne probably felt guilty for cheating so she didn’t cause any trouble when the properties, belongings and assets were divided. Brian immediately sold his properties afterwards because he didn’t wanted to be remembered to Leighanne anymore. The sooner she disappeared out of his life the better.  As for Brian this affair did came out of the blue. Apparently he either had been blind for her lies or she kept it well hidden but he never noticed anything different in their relationship. He always had strong faith in their marriage but after he caught her in the act with Jim, the Robbie Williams look - a - like gardener, he felt  heartbroken and betrayed.

After the divorce Brian moved to his apartment in the city and decided to first go on tour before buying a property in the countryside near his family. The furniture and all the other belongings he couldn’t take with him to his apartment where temporarily stored in a container.

 Brian had shown interest in a property ten miles from Kevin’s place and  fourteen miles from his parents house. The property was situated in a lovely little county where he and Kevin had grown up and therefore reminded him of his wonderful childhood. He had asked the real estate agent to ask the owners to take the property off the market for the six weeks he was on tour because he definitely wanted to buy it. The tour started within four days and there was just too little time to arrange the legal aspects of the purchase. Just when Brian feared that the property would slip through his fingers he luckily found out that the owners where  long – time friends of his parents. These friends had their own house close to his parents.  Not so long ago they inherited this property from an old aunt. But since there was just the two of them they didn’t need it. Brian’s mom contacted their friends and they immediately took it of the market.

Knowing the house would be his felt good. It was a big step in the right direction. He needed rest and regularity to stabilize his life again and living close to his relatives and in a house with no painfull  memories of Leighanne  would definitely help him reach that goal.

Caught by his thoughts he opened a bottle of water when AJ joined him “Hey, you’re already here! That’s quick”.

Brian frowned and made a goofy face “I was hungry” he looked at AJ’s plate which was overloaded with vegetables, rice and fried chicken and chili sauce “but it looks like I’m not the only one with appetite tonight” he smiled.

“You don’t have a clue how hungry I am” AJ sighed “I didn’t had much for lunch so I definitely need food NOW” and sat down.

“So where are the others?” Brian looked over his shoulder as he saw some crewmembers entering the room.

“Dunno” AJ answered while chewing. “Nick and Lauren wanted to call home before dinner and Howie and Leigh where playing cards. Howie was losing so I guess they’ll be here soon haha. And Rochelle was on the phone with her sister so that’s probably gonna take a while. You know…. women” he grinned. 

Just as he spoke those words he startled as he heard Rochelle behind him “Ooooh, look who’s talking” she slapped his arm “you are the one talking for hours on the phone like a girl, not me. And did I mentioned you stealing my make – up?” she teased him and sat down next to him.

AJ smirked as he wrapped his arms around her for a hug and kissed her cheek “You’re gorgeous when you’re mad. I love you. And I don’t steal your make – up, I only use your nailpolish”.

Rochelle shook her head pretending to be annoyed “ooooh, seriously…. Men!” and looked at Brian.

Brian smiled “Don’t look at me. I’m a guy too, last time I checked. Hey, what are you eating?” as he glared at her plate.

Rochelle giggled and blushed a little “I asked the cook if he could make me a couple of pancakes with fresh fruit, whip cream and chocolate sauce”.

“Wow, that sounds like desert though” Brian laughed.

“I know, but hey I’m pregnant” she giggled “I’m allowed too”.

Nick and Lauren walked up to their table. “Ooooh” Lauren’s eyes grew big as she looked at Rochelle’s pancakes “I want it too”.

Brian busted in laughter “Why? Are you pregnant too?”.

Lauren slapped his arm softly and smiled “No, but I am a girl and I love pancakes”. As she turned her head to Rochelle “Where did you get these? I didn’t see them at the buffet.”

“You’re right” Rochelle smirked “I asked the cook to make me pancakes. My latest craving”.

“Oh my God, do you think he wants to make me some too?”

“Sure, come on, let’s go we’ll ask him together” Rochelle smiled “That way he can’t refuse”.

“Oh oh, girls on a mission. The cook can run but he can’t hide” Nick raised his voice and shook his head with a smirk on his face as he watched them run to the kitchen like a couple of kids on a birthday party.   

Nick walked over to the buffet to get his dinner when he saw Nicky leave the room with a plate of food. Apparently she followed his advice to stay away from Brian for a little while. Maybe that was for the best. At least for now.

When he got back to the table everybody was there and ready to eat.

“Nick, I already asked the others. We wanna go to Aquaworld tomorrow. You wanna come too? Kristen asked.

“Sure sounds like fun, at least if Lauren feels like it too” he nodded.

“I’d love to” Lauren smiled.

“Q, Justin and Jenn are also joining us” Kevin spoke as he tried to cut the fried chicken.

“Well, we did ask the other crewmembers but they had other plans” Kristen yawned “I’m sorry! I am a little tired today”.

Kevin gave her a kiss.

Right after dinner the guys had to prepare themselves for the show. Lauren, Leigh and Kirsten were going to watch a movie together, in one of the busses. Rochelle decided to take a nap. The pregnancy went well but it made her tired easily.

After a full hour of sleep Rochelle woke up and refreshed herself. She walked into the venue to take a peek at the running show. “Hi” she smiled as she saw Nicky. “I didn’t see you during dinner. Is everything okay?”

Nicky didn’t knew if Rochelle knew what happened “Oh, I’m fine. I wanted to eat by myself tonight. A little quiet time, you know”.

“I know, life on the road can be pretty stress full. Listen, about tomorrow, would you like to come to Aquaworld with us? It’s gonna be fun” Rochelle glared hope full.

“Sure, I’d love to” Nicky smiled.

“Cool! I see you tomorrow okay? Meet us after breakfast. We’ll wait for ya” Rochelle smiled and continued her walk in the direction of the stage.

"Close my eyes"

My feet on the ground but I can't run
Drowning the noise inside my head
Who is this man that I've become?
It's killing me to see myself
How do you learn how to forgive
When deep down inside you can't forget
With all that I regret
And I pray for the first time in a long time
The lies fade away..

Finally I'm waking up
I feel like I can let you go
Say everything I wanted to say
I'm okay with being alone

When I close my eyes
When I close my eyes

I'm alive

I never was sure but now I am
This was the choice I had to make
Maybe I'll never understand
Sometimes you got to make mistakes

Finally I'm waking up
I feel like I can let you go
Say everything I wanted to say
I'm okay with being alone
Finally I'm facing up
I feel like I can let it show
And know I can walk away
I'm okay with being alone

When I close my eyes (close my eyes, close my eyes)
When I close my eyes (close my eyes, close my eyes)

When I close my eyes
How do you know where to go when you go away?
When I close my eyes
How do you know that you know when it's over?

I see for the first time in a long time
Believe in me when I say..

Finally I'm waking up
I feel like I can let you go
Say everything I wanted to say
I'm okay with being alone
Finally I'm facing up
I feel like I can let it show
And know I can walk away
I'm okay with being alone

When I close my eyes (close my eyes, close my eyes)
When I close my eyes (close my eyes, close my eyes)
I'm alive

I'm alive

 

The show went well that night. Brian's voice sounded clear and strong again after suffering from flu the week before. He hadn't seen Nicky anymore that night. He noticed that she didn't showed up for the "after show" drink at the venue. An hour later the crew and the guys went back to the hotel.

During the one hour drive to the hotel Brian fell asleep.

It felt like only minutes later that Lauren gently tried to wake him up
"Brian, time to wake up. We're at the hotel" she softly pushed him.

He stretched out and yawned "thank you sweetheart" and got up from his seat to leave the bus.

The others left the bus quietly, feeling tired themselves.

Brian felt a headache coming up. As they stood in the lobby of the hotel he decided to head off to bed while the others stayed up for a last drink at the bar.

He made his way to his room and sighed as he opened the door. He dropped the keycard on the table, kicked off his shoes, took off his clothes until he was only in his boxers and brushed his teeth. He peeked at the alarm clock and saw it was 1:30 pm. He then fell on his bed with a deep sigh and turned down the lights.

"I'm sorry for what happened" Nicky cried. His heart broke by the sad look on her face.

Brian gently wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair. "It's okay baby" he shushed her and kissed her forehead. With his hand he lifted her face and looked her deep in her eyes. He felt such a strong love for her. He kissed her softly. Nicky eagerly answered his kiss.

Brian woke up the next morning and rubbed his eyes. The first thought that came up to him was the memory of the dream he had last night. He remembered it vividly. This was weird. He never felt attracted to her. So why this dream? He decided not to worry about it anymore.

He did his morning prayer, packed his bag for the aqua park and went downstairs to the restaurant for breakfast.

The others had already started breakfast without him. The floor was filled with traveler bags. Brian got his breakfast and a cappuccino and joined the group.

"Everything okay? You look tired." AJ mumbled while the others were occupied in their own conversations.

"I'm fine. I didn't sleep too well. I don't know why but I hope tonight will be better" Brian yawned and took another bite of his croissant with marmalade.

"I know how it feels. I hate broken nights" AJ reached for his orange juice and took a sip. "I'm gonna go get some milk with cereals. You want some too?".

"Yeah sure! Oh and can you bring me another cappuccino?" Brian picked his cup for AJ to refill it.

"Hmmm, only because you slept so bad" AJ grinned and took off to the breakfast buffet.

After breakfast they took off to the aquapark. Brian drove one of the mini vans and had Kevin, Kristen and Mason and Howie, Leigh and James. It was a fun drive with laughter and goofing around.   Brian felt a lot better than he did this morning. Today was going to be a great day.


In the other minivan that left a little later Nicky stared out the window. She'd talked to her mom this morning and found out that her brother didn't do too well. He was sick for quite a while now and his health didn't seem to improve. Yesterday the doctor ordered him to go to the hospital to run some regular tests. Her brother is the kind of guy that always was very active and involved in sports. Knowing he was down for so long made her feel sad.

"A penny for your thoughts" Rochelle tapped Nicky on her shoulder.

Nicky smiled sad "Oh it's nothing. My brother is having some tests done today in the hospital and I was thinking of him".

"I hope it's nothing serious?" Rochelle looked at her worried.

"I hope so" Nicky answered. She looked inside her purse to see if there were any messages but there weren't any.

"Were at aqua park guys, it's time for fun" AJ smiled. "I see the others have arrived too".

He parked the van next to the other one. Everybody got out of the vehicle and bags where loaded off.

While everybody got their bags both Brian and Nicky where the last ones to get theirs. Brian did noticed that she avoided him. She quickly grabbed her bag and turned away from him. Before he could say something to her Howie came rushing back to the car.

"I think I left my cell in the car" Howie said as he walked back and opened the door of the passengers side.

Nicky made advantage of the situation to hurry herself to the entrance of the park. Brian turned away from the car just in time to see a glimpse from her as she went arround the corner of the building.

"Hola mi amigo, earth to Brian" Howie slapped him on the shoulder "is there something going on between the two of you?".

"No" Brian blushed "just a silly argument, that's all".

"Are you sure that's all?" Howie grinned.

"What do you mean" Brian's face turned a little more red.

"Oh nothing, but for a moment I saw you staring at her so I figured....." Howie paused "you know what, never mind. Lets go inside".

Brian was relieved that Howie left the subject to rest.

They both walked to the entrance of the aquapark when they noticed everybody already went inside.

"So nice that they waited for us" Howie said grumpily.

"You bring my thoughts into words" Brian slapped him on the shoulder.

"Why can't they wait for us? Is that really too much to ask" Howie looked upset.

"I don't know bro. All I know is that people, even in groceriestores, can't stand to wait these days. I guess we're getting old" Brian smiled.

When he looked at Howie he noticed that Howie didn't laugh at his joke.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Howie sighed "well Leigh and I.... Things aren't going well lately. We.... we fight a lot about small things and somehow… I don’t know… it’s like we can’t stand each other anymore.  

"Seriously?" Brian was shocked. They had been together even before he and Leighanne got together and they’d always seem as the picture perfect dream couple.

“Yeah, really”.

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“I tried to bring it on a couple of times but every time I do that we get in huge fights. She blames me for not putting enough effort in our relationship” Howie looked down.

To complete the setting of the conversation rain dripped on their heads and within seconds it started pouring heavily down from the sky.

“Shit” Brian and Howie rushed to the entrance, almost soaking wet.

They went inside.

“Stop by my room tonight okay. We’ll have a drink and continue our conversation” Brian gave him a soft smile.

“I will, thanks bro” Howie returned the little smile and hugged him. They walked up to the reception and bought their tickets. They walked towards the dressing rooms to get their swimwear on.

*****

Meanwhile Nicky already had entered the park with the others. She decided that today would  be a relaxing day. That moment where she’d been standing at the car, all alone with Brian, was quite awkward. Fortunately Howie had came to the rescue.

Nick had been right. It was best to leave things to rest. She and Rochelle where now in one of the herbal Jacuzzi’s. They were both enjoying the sound of the bubbling water.

 *****

Brian walked into the pool area and noticed a sign which offered the possibility to get a massage done. That was exactly what he needed. He told Howie his plans and walked to the desk to get himself on the list.

 “You can come with me right away” the blond older lady said to him.

“Oh, that’s great” Brian, wrapped up in his trunks and bathrobe  followed the lady in the massage room.

“My name is Lillian and I’ll be the one performing the massage on you” she smiled.

“Okay, my name is Brian” he smiled.

“ Well, nice to meet you Brian”.

 After she’d closed the door behind him she invited him to lay down on his chest on the massage table. He could leave his trunks on and that part got covered with a towel.

“Do you have any issues with your back or maybe other areas on your body that is painful?” she asked while preparing the treatment.

“No, not that I know off”.

“That’s good. First I’m going to explain the treatment to you. This treatment will specifically be for back side of your body. First I’ll start with the back of your head. Then the back of your neck and shoulders, your arms, then your back, the back of your legs and I’ll end with your feet”.

“Excellent, I can’t wait” Brian smiled.

“Great, let’s get started” Lillian smiled and started the massage “and if there’s anything you find uncomfortable or hurting please let me know. This massage is not supposed to be hurtful or unpleasant”.

In the back ground soft pan flute music came out of the stereo.

She placed her hands on the back of his head and started the massage. Her hands gentle massaging his head caused shivers on his spine and goose bumps all over his body.

“Wow, that’s amazing” he moaned with his eyes closed.

She moved to his neck and shoulders and Brian sighed. This was a good thing. He really enjoyed the massage.  

When the massage continued he noticed a slight change of massaging style. The hands softy stroked his spine and even though he couldn’t see her, he could feel her bending over him.   

 Her mouth kissed his back and soon her mouth and tongue took over from her hands. Brian moaned by that feeling. Being shocked that the masseuse would do that he lifted his head to look over his shoulder as he saw Nicky. Apparently she took over from Lillian.

She smiled “You like that?” she whispered in his ear.

“Yes” he whispered.

She continued kissing his back and used her tongue to make circles up and down his spine. She lowered to the edge of his towel and softly licked his beltline. That move drove Brian insane. He felt his manhood rising by her touch. He wanted to turn around to face her but she forced him to stay where he was. She slowly removed the towel from his trunks and softly massaged his ass. Knowing they where her hands completely set him on fire.

Just before he wanted to turn around to her to make love to her, he softly got tapped on his shoulder.

“Brian wake up, the massage is over” he heard a voice from far away.

Brian opened his eyes and needed some time to realize where he was.

“I noticed you falling asleep during the massage” Lillian smiled.

“Yeah I did, didn’t I” Brian got up and stretched out. He felt embarrassed about having that dream in the presence of Lillian and crossed his fingers that she hadn’t noticed him dreaming about Nicky. “I didn’t snore right?” he blushed.

“Don’t worry. You slept real calm and didn’t make any noise” she smiled.

“Thank you so much for the massage” Brian gave her a hug, said goodbye and walked out of the room. He held the bathrobe in one arm.

When he went through the door, back to the pool area, he bumped into Nicky. Brian felt his cheeks turned red. “Hi” he smiled shy. She looked so freakin’ hot in her purple and black colored bikini.

“Hi” she responded shy and turned red also. “I… eh.. have to go. I have a massage scheduled” she tried to avoid him.

“Really?  I just came out of one myself. It is awesome. Enjoy okay” he smiled at her.

“Thanks, I will” she was confused. He had first been yelling at her and now he was all nice to her. That was strange.  

“See you later” he smiled and continued his walk to Nick and Lauren. He felt his stomach turn. Was he falling for her?

“Yeah, maybe later” she mumbled and went on to the massage room. Brian looked so hot in his black trunks, his strong muscled arms and his gorgeous looking six pack that she felt mesmerized. She tried to push away that thought. It would never work between them. She wasn’t the kind of girl he would fall for. Hell he didn’t even like her as a person. He made that very clear the other day. He could easily date models or other extremely beautiful women so no need to fantasize about something that would never happen. Not worth falling in love when you don’t stand a chance she thought.      

"Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon"

How come I was the last to know
Took the stage then you stole the show
Another unsuspecting sunday afternoon
I was captured by that stare
Now I'm shattered, but I don't care
And the people walking by don't have a clue

That I kissed your face
Till the sun was in our eyes
Till the afternoon arrived
And I can't explain
Last night I saw the fireworks
The kind of pain that never hurts
The one you hate to love is made for you
Another unsuspecting Sunday afternoon

Monday is a funny thing
Still waiting for the phone to ring
Will my imagination take it slow
After Saturday, my life is changed
In a moment it was rearranged
Strange how easy it is letting go
And I miss your face
Like the sun was in my eyes
And now I'm running blind

And I can't explain
Last night I saw the fireworks
The kind of pain that never hurts
The one you hate to love is made for you
Another unsuspecting Sunday afternoon

This sweet relief
Unexpected things
Is this the end or only the beginning

I miss your face
Like the sun was in my eyes
Like the afternoon
Now I'm running blind (running blind)
I can't explain (can't explain)

Last night I saw the fireworks
the kind of pain that never hurts
The one you hate to love that's made for you
Another unsuspecting Sunday afternoon
Another unsuspecting Sunday afternoon

 

Nicky enjoyed her massage. The woman who performed the massage on her was definitely a professional.

She got her towel, wrapped it around her and walked outside the massage room. She walked over to a herbal bath and let her body slide in the hot water.

“Nicky, we are going to drink some coffee in the dining area. Are you joining us?” Kevin asked with Kristen standing next to him.

“No I’ll skip this one, I just got out of the massage”.

“ Okay enjoy your bath than. We’ll see you in half an hour” he blinked at her and walked away.

After staying in the hot water for ten minutes she decided to go to the outside pool. She felt the cold on her skin while swimming outside to the integrated build in Jacuzzi area. She laid down in the water resting her body on integrated under water benches. She closed her eyes to enjoy that relaxing moment. She nearly fell asleep as she felt a presence next to her.

She opened her eyes and noticed it was Brian. “Oh eh… hi”  she blushed.

“Hi yourself” he smiled “so are you enjoying the pool all by yourself?”

Nicky smiled shyly “well I’m not by myself anymore. Shouldn’t you be drinking coffee with the rest of the group?”

“No, didn’t feel like it. Maybe later”.

They both sat down for a while without any further conversation. The tension was slowly building between them.

Just as Nicky wanted to ask him something Brian started to talk.

“Oh sorry, you first” Brian said

“Oh, eh no you first” Nicky blushed.

“I eh… I want to apologize for my behavior the other day” Brian blushed.

“Oh eh… wow, didn’t see that one coming” she frowned “Apology accepted I guess”. Nicky felt a little confused with what just had happened.

“I was a bit hard on you and you didn’t deserve that”.

“Yeah but I shouldn’t have said what I said. I really regret what happened Brian”.

“I know. I do too” He smiled at her.

She smiled back feeling relieved.

Brian wrapped his strong masculine arms around her for a hug and Nicky answered that gesture. He held her for while and when she pulled back a little to say something to him there faces where so close together that they almost touched each other. The tension between them was almost visible.

“I eh….” Nicky started but before she could finish her sentence Brian kissed her with all the tenderness he had inside. Nicky’s heart melted by the feeling of his soft velvet lips on hers. She kissed him back and wrapped her arms around him so that their bodies where as close as they could be. Brian repositioned himself so that he came in front of her. That made it possible for Nicky to wrap her legs around his waist under the water. The kiss seemed to last forever and even though they heard someone swimming behind them, who soon seemed to be leaving the outside pool, it didn’t break the kiss.

After what seemed to be forever in a different world together Brian stopped the kiss and pulled back still with his waist between her legs. He smiled.

Nicky opened her eyes and took a deep breath “Wow” she whispered.

“That was amazing” Brian’s eyes pierced hers. He bended forward and gave her a small kiss on her mouth.

“Yes, it sure was”  Nicky smiled.

"Beautiful Woman"

How can I begin to
Tell you what you do to
Me every time I hear ya
More willing to wanna see ya

I know that there's no use in
Tryin' to explain the confusion
But still I'm not complainin'
'Bout my situation

Let's not talk about a
Possible ending

The very first time that I
Was lookin' to be your fella
I found my inspiration
Hidin' in your expression
So I put myself forward
For your consideration

[Chorus:]
Let's not talk about a
Possible ending
Let's not think about it
Every day
And I know
I'm so
In love
With you
I'm finding it harder and harder to breath
Every time I hear
My beautiful woman

And so we put the top down
To take you drivin' downtown
I guess we'll know just what to do
When you're lookin' to fool around

It's too late to stop me
I know we're gonna get down

[Chorus]

My beautiful woman
My beautiful woman
My beautiful woman

B is for beautiful
As the sunshine
E tells me everything is feelin' alright
A goes to you and me swingin' it down
T is two
I want you, You've got me actin' like a
Fool

[Chorus]

 

“I have to go to the bathroom, are you staying here or are you going inside too?”

“I have to go to” Nicky giggled.

“You go inside first than okay? People might insinuate things seeing us coming back inside together and following each other near the toilets” he grinned.

Nicky couldn’t help but laugh “Sure, whatever”.

 

She swim back inside and made her way to the women toilets. While on her way she had to suppress the urge of looking behind her whether Brian followed her or not. Butterflies were racing through her body. She never expected this to happen. Of course, she had felt attracted to him since the beginning she started working as a crewmember. Because let’s be honest, Mister Littrell is a gorgeous looking man with a great personality. But she never had the illusion that he would fall for a plain girl like herself.

She got in the toilet, did what she needed to do and after she washed her hands, she fixed her wet hair a little in the mirror.

With a big smile on her face she left the ladies room. Right when she stepped out of the ladies room Brian took her hand and gently pulled her with him to follow him to the locker area. In the background they heard the voices of Nick and Kevin coming closer. Brian looked at her over his shoulder and placed a finger on her lips as a gesture that she had to stay silent. They had to rush to  get  behind the first row of lockers to prevent that they were being seen by Kev and Nick. Just in time they made it.

Out of breath Nicky leaned with her back at one of the lockers “Wow, that was close” she sighed.

Brian didn’t answer, instead he looked at her with a sensual glare in his eyes. Him looking at her like that made Nicky feel weak in her knees and mind. He placed his both hands gently on her face and kissed her. Still a little breathless she did manage to keep up with the kiss. He pressed his body against hers an moved his hands to her back into a tight wrap. His soft lips and tongue gave her a mind blowing kiss that again seemed forever. It took every inch of self control she had inside of her not to rip of his swimming trunks. Wow, that man turned her on like nobody has ever done.

Brian broke the kiss to look at her with that same sensual glare. Nicky returned that look and this time she was the first one to respond to that. She gave him little kisses, teasingly biting his upper lip, until she couldn’t hold it back anymore. She kissed him aggressively and sensually. He answered her with all the lust he had inside. She stroked his masculine upper body and his hands slowly slid down to her booty.

Unwilling to break the kiss and with their eyes closed they tried to get in one of the dressing rooms. They seemed to manage to get in one without falling and when the door was locked behind them the make out session continued.

 Her soft hands on his body made him crazy. His hands slowly slid to her breasts as he kissed her again. The sexual tension between them was almost touchable. A soft moan escaped from her mouth. To Brian it was an invitation that he could continue the what he was doing. One hand reached behind her back to unwrap her bikini top.

Nicky pressed him away from her “No Brian, stop” she whispered.

It took a second or two before Brian realized what she said. He immediately stopped. “I’m sorry” he said a little startled. “I guess I lost control a little”.

“You don’t have to feel sorry, really, It’s not that I don’t want it, but maybe we… should slow down a little” she said as she stared to the floor. “I do like you, a lot” she whispered.

“I do like you too, a lot” he said tenderly. “I’m really sorry if I crossed your boundaries. And of course we can wait and take it slow. We have all the time in the world. I was just caught up, I guess, by the kissing and all” he wrapped his arms around her for a hug and kissed her forehead. “I’m thirsty. How about we got back inside and get something to drink” he smiled.

“I think that’s a good idea” she smiled back. “But Brian?”

“Yes?”

“What does this mean?’”

“I don’t know, what do you want it to mean?”

“I eh… have no idea. But I do like what happened” she blushed.

“Me too” he whispered.

“Shall we take it slow, like one step at the time?”

“To get a little used to this, you mean?”

“Yeah”

“I think it’s a good idea” he smiled.

“ And how about the others?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s best if we waited a little and figure out where this is going to take us”.

“I agree. Now let’s get inside for some coffee okay” she smiled.

“After you gorgeous” Brian opened the door.

While passing him he slapped her teasingly on her but.

“You pervert” she laughed.

“I slap a fine booty when I see one” he grinned.

“Not to every woman right?” she acted quasi startled.

“No don’t worry, just yours”.

The rest of the day went by quickly. There were no encounters like this with Brian for the rest of the day but the secret looks they gave each other, and the secret teasing caressing or touches under water whenever he was near sure kept the sensual tension between them. Nicky felt like she was blushing all day but it felt good.

At five they went back to the hotel. Nicky went to her room to refresh herself and to take a hot shower. She dropped her key card on the table and her bag on the floor. She undressed herself and got in her soft white bathrobe. Just when she wanted to take a shower somebody knocked on her door. “My god, great timing” she sighed and got to the door.

When she opened she found Brian in her doorway. “Hi” he smiled.

“Oh eh hi” Nicky instantly blushed “come in. Brian entered her hotel room. “Nice room” he grinned as he looked around “it looks a lot like mine”. Nicky laughed “you want something to drink?” “No I need to shower before dinner, I only wanted to ask you if you’d like to come to my room tonight. You know have some wine and maybe talk a little. Getting to know one another” he asked a bit shy. “Howie wanted to talk to me after dinner but I guess he and Leigh have some business to work out so he coming by tomorrow”.
“Yes, I would like that” she answered shy.

He came a little closer and both of them felt the tension building up between them. Nicky lost herself while looking into his sweet puppy eyes. Slowly Brian motioned to her. He then cupped her face in his hands and softly kissed her. His hands slowly slid under her bathrobe. Nicky’s heart missed a couple of beats. She wrapped her arms around Brian and answered his kiss. He slowly guided her to her bed and while kissing they laid down. He tenderly positioned himself on top of her. She took off his shirt and without stopping the dazzling kiss she massaged every piece of his masculine chest. Her touch turned him on. He laid on top of her and kissed her neck. She moaned softly while her hands were all over his chest. The touch of his soft lips over her body made her wild. She felt his hands sliding under her bathrobe to her breasts. She was surprised how soft his hands were. Brian was completely mesmerized by her. He couldn’t stop kissing her. Damn she was hot he thought. His fingers gently massaged her nipples. “Oh Brian” Nicky whispered.

Suddenly they heard knocking. They both freezed “Fuck” Brian whispered.

“Nicky” that was Nick’s voice “I have your wallet here. Lauren forgot to give it back to you” they heard from behind the door. “Wow great timing Nick” Brian mumbled softly and stood up from the bed.“Oh eh ok” Nicky raised her voice “give me one minute ok” she rushed to the bathroom and gestured Brian to get in there so that Nick wouldn’t see Brian. She quickly made sure her bathrobe was covering everything and with red cheeks she opened the door.

Nick looked curious “am I interrupting?” “Oh eh no, I eh was just about to get a shower” she felt her cheeks becoming red again. Nicky hoped Nick wouldn’t notice it. He gave her the wallet. “Thanks” she smiled. “Yeah I thought I’d bring it by right away. I don’t like it when I have someone else’s money you know” Nick answered.

BANG! They heard a loud noise coming from inside the hotel room. Nicky almost jumped to the sealing. “What was that?” Nick wanted to step in the room. “Oh eh… I think it’s my toiletry bag or something. It’s nothing really” Nicky wished Nick would leave. She didn’t knew how to keep him further on distance so that Brian wouldn’t get noticed. “Oh ok, well see you at dinner ok?” he smiled. “Sure, see ya” Nicky smiled back and Nick left.

She closed the door and took a deep sigh. She went to the bathroom where Brian immediately apologized for letting the toothpaste fall on the floor. “That was close” she sighed. “I know, I’m sorry” Brian felt a bit guilty. He didn’t want her to lie just because he couldn’t control himself.

“I don’t want to but I’m going back to my room. I really need to take a shower” Brian sighed. “I know, me too” Nicky sighed. “How late are you coming by tonight?” Brian pulled his shirt over his head. “How about nine?” “Sure, nine is good” Brian buttoned up his jeans. He gave her a last kiss and left.

Brian:
I snuck out of her room and managed to get into my own room without being seen. I laid down on my own bed to chill for a couple of minutes. It had been an awesome day. And Nicky is just…. Awesome. Thinking about everything that happened made me excited. Butterflies ran through me. I was falling in love again. In a way it felt strange. The last time I’d felt this way was with Leighanne. It didn’t had anything to do with Nicky but all these intense feelings also kind of made me scared. Was I ready for this?

I closed my eyes for a couple of minutes but instead of resting a little all I could think of was her hot steaming body and our make out sessions earlier that day. I decided to take the shower at that moment. If we wanted to keep this thing a secret for now it was important for me to learn to hide my feelings in public. The only problem was that I was not able to do that.

I showered, got dressed and spend more time than usual in front of the bathroom mirror. Thinking of seeing Nicky in a couple of minutes made my heart running wild.

Speaking of my heart I knew I really had to make a doctor appointment to get my check up. I haven’t told anyone but I noticed my condition wasn’t as good anymore as it used to be. I pushed away the thought. Next week, when I’d get home I would call for an appointment. In the mean time I’d had to make sure nobody would figure out what was wrong.

I checked my phone for messages and there was only a message from Leighanne. She apparently had a letter for the both of us regarding taxes that had to be paid over last year.

A flash of pain struck my heart. No heart attack but caused by the memories I used to had with her. I still hadn’t dealed with everything that had happened. A lot had been dealed with but still… I texted back that I was on tour and that the payment would follow next week. Within a minute another text came in “how are you? Xx”
Reading that text made me confused. What was it that she wanted from me. She was the one that cheated on me. She obviously had feelings for that other guy so why connecting with me again?

“I’m fine. I hope you are too. Have to go now. Talk to you next week” I texted back.

I took my key card, phone and wallet and went downstairs for dinner. When I got into the dining area Nicky was already there. My heart took a little jump as soon as I caught sight of here. She sat at the table with the other crewmembers. I really wanted to sit next to her but we agreed to keep things silent for a while. So to show my respect to her I decided, with a fresh dose of unwillingness, to sit and have dinner with the guys at the other table. I did manage to take a seat that made me able to look at her without making it too obvious. Nick and AJ began talking to me about random things but I really couldn’t care about it. I actually wanted to be left alone with my own thoughts or left alone with her. ‘Get a grip on yourself Littrell’ my mind yelled to my heart. ‘You’re a grown man for cryin’ out loud. Try to control your feelings a little”. I took a deep breath and tried to mix in with the conversation.

We got our dinner from the buffet and went back to our tables. I really had to supress the urge of looking at her too often. At one point I looked at Nicky and there was a guy sitting next to her. That guy, Jason, acted a little too happy and nice to her if you asked me. The worst thing was that Nicky smiled back and laughed about his dumb jokes. At least, that was what I could make up simply by looking to them. My inner lion started to roar and I felt jealous. That asshole needed to get away from my woman. I wanted to punch him in the face but of course I didn’t because we agreed to keep things secret. Lousy deal. I was definitely going to talk to her about this secret thing. I hated that guy. I really needed to talk to the management about him. He needed to go.

Nicky finally looked at me. It seemed like forever since my eyes finally caught hers. She gave me a stunning smile that made me weak. God that woman sure knew how to make me crave for her. “Hey B, how about eating your food. You haven’t touched it. It’s gonna get cold” AJ tapped me on my arm. “Yeah man, pay attention if else we’ll eat it for you” Nick joked. I shook my head and pretended a yawn. “Sorry I’m tired” I lied. I was a lousy liar. I could feel my cheeks turn red from telling this lie. “Ok, is that what they call it these days?” Nick laughed. I frowned “what are you talking about?”. “Well, I did saw you in the pool today with that girl” AJ smirked. Fuck, they found out I panicked. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “No just kidding” AJ and Nick laughed. “Fuck you” I slapped him on his arm. Nick and AJ looked at each other with a frown and smirked “you look guilty bro. Do you have something to confess?” Nick brought his fork with some French fries to his mouth and chewed while waiting for an answer. “No of course not. Stop picking on me you morons” and I took a bite from my cheeseburger. “Ooooh looks like somebody is grumpy” AJ teased. Rochelle gave him kiss on his cheek “Stop it Alex. Come on let the guy eat for a second” AJ turned to Rochelle and kissed her back “Ok love of my life. I’ll do anything to make you happy”. Nick made a gagging sound “Oh my god, you guys are gross. Get a room and do whatever you want but do it somewhere private. I’m eating dinner. Ugh” he faked a shiver. Lauren laughed “come on babe, they just had their wedding. Let them be in love ok”. “Nick don’t act like you and Lauren didn’t do that. I remember the days that you just got together and we hardly got any word from you ‘cause your lips where sealed with Laurens” Howie laughed. “We still have problems with that sometimes” Kevin laughed. Brian felt relieved the attention changed from him to Nick. He relaxed a little.
The laughter at their table caught the attention of Nicky and the other crew members. Nicky smiled shy to me. I wanted to be alone with her ASAP.

Dinner went by and so did desert. Of course Jason kept playing mister nice guy to Nicky. It was so obvious he had a thing for her. Asshole. He even had the nerve to come to our table to talk to us. I ignored him. The way I see it he was really full of himself. I didn’t understand why Nick and AJ invited him over for a drink tonight.

Around 8:30 I went back to my room. It was a bit messy. I quickly cleaned up a little (you know, stuffing everything in the closet to hide all the clothes that sort of “fell out” my suitcase). I didn’t want her to think that I was an untidy person. Butterflies raced through me and I ordered two bottles of wine together with two glasses. I didn’t know if she’d like red or white wine so I ordered both of them. I decided to brush my teeth again and put on a little of my favourite fragrance ‘Aqua di Gio’.

I heard a knock on the door at 08:50. My heard jumped. She was early, awesome. I opened the door to find Nick behind it. Fuck. Doesn’t this guy understand the meaning of privacy or what? “Hey I was wondering, we are gonna grab a beer in the bar downstairs. Are you coming too?”.

“Nah, don’t think so. I’m tired, rough night. I’m gonna stay at the hotel room tonight. Watch a little TV or something”. I tried to get rid of him but it was like, you know, you want to hide something and it’s like there’s some force of nature, or maybe even God himself, that is doing everything to make your secret leak out. What happened next could easily be a part of a low budget comedy movie. Just when I thought I had it all under control and Nick was about to leave, a ping sounded and the door of the elevator opened. A guy in hotel uniform stepped out of the elevator with my requested order and two glasses. He saw me and I tried to make him understand (without saying a word but by using facial expressions) to take a hike and come back a little later. Nick turned around to face him and the guy walked up to us, completely ignoring my ‘take a hike’ moves. He was probably very slow in understanding. “Your order sir” the guy smiled and handed me my order. Nick looked at me and the bottles of wine “Wow, you are definitely having plans tonight” he smiled. “Plans on getting wasted?” he grinned. I sighed “oh no, just felt like having some wine tonight. I just couldn’t make up my mind whether I wanted red or white” I lied, again. I also tried to hide the two glasses. I saw Nick’s eyes resting on these two glasses for a second. But he decided not to mention it anymore. “Anyway, I have to go. I promised the guys to be down at nine. Have a good night bro”. “See you tomorrow” I swallowed and sighed. “Wow, that was close. He walked to the elevator and pressed on the elevator button. The ping sounded again and the doors opened. He stepped in. Before the doors closed I saw Nicky entering just around the corner. I tried to warn her with my eyes to be careful. She thankfully got what I was trying to make clear and she waited a couple of seconds behind the corner. The elevator doors finally closed and the elevator was going down.

Finally I could relax. I took a real deep breath and was relieved. “Hi babe, my goodness that was so close. I’m telling ya I really suck at lying to people” I softly kissed her on her beautiful mouth. I took her hands in mine and guided her inside my room. Before closing the door I made sure that nobody else could’ve seen us. The corridor was empty.

Brian closed the door behind him and when he came back in the room Nicky already sat down on the beige couch. Brian lit up the candles that stood on the table. “Do you want red or white wine” he spoke soft. It took a second or two before she became aware he’d asked her a question. Nicky secretly enjoyed the sight of Brian’s back while he was taking care of their drinks. His ass was so well formed. And the masculine form of his upper body combined with that fine shaped ass and him dressed in his dark blue jeans and black sweater….. naughty thoughts came up to her that made her blush “I’d like the red wine” she replied waking up out of her thoughts. He poured in two glasses of wine and handed her a glass. She looked at him and almost drowned in his eyes. My god, how can a man be like this, her inner woman sighed.

He sat down next to her. The couch was not a really big one so they sat close together. Brian took a sip from his wine and smiled “I had an awesome time at the pool today”. “Me too” Nicky smiled “I didn’t expect it to happen but I think I like it what’s happening”. “Me too” Brian took the remote control from the table and turned down the TV. “You want to listen to some of my new music?” he got up from the couch. “Oh yeah, sure I’d love to” Nicky stood up too to pull down her short red skirt a little and then sat down on the couch again. “You look stunning by the way” Brian’s glare went from top to bottom.

Nicky quickly changed clothes before she went to see Brian. She chose a black top with a red short skirt and a pair of black killer heels.

“Thank you” she answered shy. He got on his knees and turned on the cd player and made her listen to a couple of new songs. “Wow I like it Brian. That is good stuff!”. “Thank you. It took a little while but I’m finally happy with the results” Brian felt proud. Creating new material is always a challenge so he was glad she liked it.
They talked about several subjects and had a really good time together. He played an acoustic song for her on his guitar and she told him about her past and her family. Brian told her some of his personal stuff and the wine taste good that evening. They really connected.

Another bottle got ordered and by the time the clock turned midnight Nicky felt tipsy and comfortable enough to have taken of her shoes and laid down on the couch with her head resting on his lap while he softly caressed her hair. He bend his head towards her and kissed her softly. The inner (slightly drunk) woman did a happy dance and Nicky cupped his face with her hands to intensify the kiss. Brian stopped for a second to look at her “You are such a beautiful woman” he sighed “You make me crazy, you know that?” and he kissed her again. Nicky smiled while kissing him back. He suddenly placed one arm supporting her back and the other under her knees and stood up lifting her in his strong arms. He moved over to the bed and softly laid her down. All Nicky could do was smile. Butterflies racing through her body and even though she said she wanted to take things slow she knew she didn’t had the strength anymore to reject the longing to be intimate with him.

Outside in the corridor they heard footsteps and laughter, probably from Kevin and Kristen.

Brian blew out the candles, closed the curtains and turned on the light on the night stand. “I probably should be going to my own room” Nicky hesitated. Why else would he be closing the curtains or turning of the cd player. Brian turned around to her “If you really want to…. But I actually was hoping that… you’d stay tonight” his voice was soft and his pleading puppy eyes made her drowning in her feelings for him. Her heart jumped and she kissed him “yes, I want to” she whispered “But I do have to get some stuff from my room. You know, toothbrush, birthcontrol pills” she whispered. So Nicky went down to her room to get them. Luckily nobody saw her.

When she came back in Brian’s room he immediately kissed her and took off her top. With his soft hands he softly massaged her booty while kissing her with passion. They laid down on the bed and while they kissed they undressed each other. Brian tenderly took of her bra and his hands found their way to her breasts. He softly massaged them with his soft warm hands while his lips were still sealed with Nicky’s. She moaned of pleasure. Her hands were all over his chest and Brian searched his way down with his mouth to continue the breast massage with his tongue. Nicky went wild. That feeling of his tongue circling around and over her nipples made her nearly reaching her edge already. That man knew what he did. She couldn’t lay still. Yet Brian repositioned himself on top of her to make sure she didn’t go anywhere. All she could do was surrender herself to him. She tried to stay as silent as possible but given the ‘royal treatment’ he gave her remaining silence was hardly undoable. She needed to do something in order for her not to lose her mind and scream out of pleasure. The walls weren’t very thick in hotels. She pressed her jaws together and went through his hair with her hands while moaning. Brian looked up to her to see her facial expression and was visibly proud to see that he was the one responsible to get her in that state. He grinned and continued with pleasuring her. Her nipples where stiff and she moaned for more. Brian kissed his way down to her panties and teasingly licked the line of her underwear thereby gently touching her skin. “Oh god Brian” she sighed. Brian helped her out of her underwear and gently massaged her thighs and purposely stayed away from her hotspot. He knew very well Nicky was completely on fire and one touch there would help her cross the edge. He didn’t want that…. Yet. “Turn around on your stomach” he whispered in her ear. She obediently did what her was told to do. She laid flat on her stomach. He then started to massage her shoulders while kissing the back of her neck. By that time every part of her body was sensitive for his touch and Brian knew that. He softly licked the line of her spine from top to bottom and back. His warm hands softly carressed her booty and began to massage it. Every once in a while he let his hand slip between her thighs to playfully touch her hotspot followed by bringing two fingers inside of her 'accidentally'. Nicky screamed of pleasure every time he did that. “Please take me” she panted “I can’t take it anymore. I beg you”. Brian smiled “Patience baby” he whispered. He then made her spread her legs and worked his tongue to her hotspot. Nicky went over the edge. When he also slid two fingers inside and trusted her combined with the licking she went over the edge for the second time. This time the orgasm was even more intense than the first one. By that time Brian couldn’t hold back any longer. He made her turn on her back so she would face him. He looked at her and enjoyed her horny, ecstatic facial expression and loved the sight of her beautiful naked body. He placed his knee between her legs which made her spread her thighs one more time and this time he entered. The feeling of him filling her deep inside caused a loud moan from her mouth and also Brian moaned as he felt her warm thighs closing around him. He began to trust her slowly but after a short while he sped up the pace. His trusts went faster and harder and so were the moans that came from Nicky. Brian couldn’t hold back any longer. He trusted her aggressively and moaned load and Nicky went over the edge with him. With hard trusts and loud moaning they both reached their orgasm at almost the same second. They reached heaven together.
Brian stopped trusting her and rested on top of her for a couple of seconds more to catch his breath. Nicky had her eyes closed and was still enjoying the tingle she felt inside of this make out ‘deluxe’ session. “Oh My God” she sighed “Damn Brian that was….. WOW”. He softly went out of her and placed himself next to her. “Wow” he sighed “that was indeed…. Wow”. He wrapped his arm around her body. “You were fantastic” he whispered in her ear. Nicky smiled “Thank you but I didn’t do anything. You did all the work” she whispered. “Did you like it?” Brian laid the blanket on over them. “Are you kidding me? Haven’t you noticed how I reacted to every single thing you did?”. “I did” he grinned.

After a little while they brushed their teeth and made themselves ready for bed. They got in their pyjamas and went to bed. They quickly fell asleep laying in each others arms.

The next morning Nicky woke up feeling soft little kisses in her neck from Brian. “Good morning princess” he whispered. Nicky smiled “Good morning my prince” and kissed him. “Did you sleep well?” he asked while laying against her. “I did actually. But I’m a bit sore down there” she giggled. “You are? Really?” he grinned. “Take that grin of your face mister Littrell” Nicky slapped his arm. “I take it as a compliment” he smiled. “What time is it?” Nicky yawned. Brian got his watch from the nightstand “It’s 9:30”. “I’m hungry” Nicky stretched herself out. “Me too. I’m going to order room service” Brian yawned too “what do you want to eat?”. Nicky stepped out the bed “Ehm I want pancakes and fruit. And coffee. I really could use some coffee”. Brian smiled “Me too”. He picked up the phone and dialled the number of the reception.
Nicky made her way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Her body was sore from last night and she hoped the hot shower would help her feel better. She then heard the shower door and seconds later felt Brian’s hands sliding softly over her body. She leaned at him and he wrapped his arms around her and they both stood there for a couple of minutes. He then kissed her neck and her shoulders “room service will be here any second now” he made her face him and brought his face to hers to kiss her one last time before he got out of the shower. Nicky smiled when Brian stepped out of the shower. She washed her hair and then turned the shower off. She felt happy. Although she didn’t knew how the relationship would develop she was happy with everything happening in her life right now.

She got out of the shower and put on her clothes. She then walked back in the room and Brian had already took a bite of his toast. She took a pancake and the mixed fruit on her plate ate. “So what are your plans today?” Brian asked while chewing on his toast. Nicky swallowed her bite of pancake “I need to help the others at the venue. And you?” she then took a sip from her coffee and looked at him. “We are going to two radio stations for promo and eh… of course the soundcheck. We’re not going to see each other much today” he looked sad. “I know” Nicky sighed. “Do you have my phone number?” Brian asked. “No, I don’t “. They exchanged their numbers.

After a little while Nicky took off to her own room to get herself ready to go to work. Brian quickly went to the gym in the hotel to do his work out. He had to rush a little because they had to leave in an hour to go to the radio station. He grabbed his towel and went to the gym. He entered the gym and started his work out with a ten minute run on the treadmill. He then began lifting weights doing several kinds of exercises. After half an hour of intense weightlifting sweat dripped of his body. His muscles were pumped up and Brian felt the high he always got from these exercises. He loved working out. Too bad he couldn’t do it a little longer. He went back to his room, showered and made himself ready to go for the promo events.
The guys had agreed they’d wait outside of the hotel to leave to the stations. Brian walked through the lobby and saw Nicky with her colleagues. He immediately saw Jason standing next to her. Brian was not amused. He was jealous. Nicky looked in his direction and a big smile appeared on her face. Brian smiled back and blinked at her. He made a “I’m gonna text you” gesture and Nicky nodded that she’d understood him.
Nicky took off to the venue with the others. Her task was to make sure the boys clothes were stalled out ‘ready to go’. Each of the racks had one of the boys name on it and Nicky had to make sure the outfits, in the right size for each man, were hanging in the right order The same was with the shoes. They had to change quite a lot and do it quickly during the concert. All of the outfits where numbered. Brian, Howie and Kevin were clean and basic when it came down to the outfits. Although Brian wanted to stand out with his sneakers. Nick and AJ liked to create their own personality on stage by adding accessories and little twists to their outfits.

Nicky arrived at the venue and began unloading the boxes with clothes. Jason helped her carrying everything inside. “So where were you last night? I was hoping to see you in the bar” he smiled and his eyes pierced hers. Nicky’s cheeks were red “I eh wanted to have a little quiet time so I stayed at my room” she answered while walking to the room where the clothes had to be sorted. “Too bad” he sighed “it would’ve been fun”. They chit chatted about how drunk and goofy Nick and AJ had been and how they both enjoyed working with them. They had to go back to the truck a couple of times to unload it all and when that was finally done they sat down to have a little break. Jason was a good looking guy, thirty one years old. He looked a lot like the soccer player Christiano Ronaldo. Nicky had liked Jason since day one. He was always very nice to her and helped her in every way he could. He was a genuine friend. She never had felt romantic feelings for him although she had to admit he was really handsome. She always felt he was out her league, even though he was single for quite some time now. And now the situation had completely changed since Brian came into the picture.
“How is your brother doing?” Jason asked. Nicky shamefully had to admit to herself the she’d forgotten about her brother “Ehm.. that’s a good question” she mumbled “I haven’t called my mom yet. I’m gonna do that tomorrow”. Jason looked at her with sympathy “You let me know ok” and smiled. Nicky sighed and returned the smile “I will”. He’d loved having her around. She was down to earth and above all sincere. He secretly began to develop feelings for her. He didn’t know if it was mutual but he didn’t had the guts to tell her. Well of course having the Backstreetboys running around all the time didn’t help either.
“Jason, can you give us a hand with the stage?” Ethan’s low voice came from behind. Jason first looked at him and then at Nicky “Are you sure you’ll manage?”. Nicky smiled “Sure I will, thank you though”. Jason got up and hugged her. He then took off with Ethan. Before Nicky continued with her work she quickly checked her phone if their where any messages. There were none. She felt a bit disappointed. She knew he’d probably be busy right now giving interviews or singing at the radio station. Just when she put her phone back in her pocket she felt the phone buzzing with an incoming text. She grabbed the phone in a hurry to see who it was.

Brian: Hi babe, can’t get you out of my mind. We’re up next in five minutes and I wanted to let you know that you were amazing last night J. You have a permanent stain in my heart!

Nicky had the biggest smile on her face ever. Her heart jumped and she read the text again. Butterflies flew up and down her body.

Nicky: Me too. I miss you. I secretly hope I can steal a kiss from you later today. Can’t wait to feel your soft lips on mine.

She pressed send.

Within twenty seconds her phone buzzed again.

Brian: Stop it !!!! You’re turning me on. Not good (well usually it’s a great thing) I still need to function “normal”.

Nicky: LOL Ok, ok I’ll stop. But I wanted you to know when I close my eyes I still feel you inside me. Like last night, remember? Sigh, wish you were here.

A minute later her cell phone blurted. She picked up “What are you doing?” she heard Brian. “Sorry” she answered shy and felt guilty for distracting him “I shouldn’t be distracting you like this”. It stayed silent for a couple of seconds “seriously Nicky, you don’t know how much I long for you. If I was there with you right now, I seriously would lock the door and take you so hard you’d beg me to stop” he whispered. Lust ran through Nicky’s body hearing him say things like that to her. “I’d like that” she blushed. In the background she heard a men’s voice. “Listen, I have to go. I don’t think I’ll be able to call. You know, the others are going to be around from now ‘til we get back. I’ll see you in the venue ok”. “Sure”. “Bye gorgeous”. “Bye handsome”. And the connection went down. Nicky needed to speed things up a little to get everything ready in time. She had to be ready by 2 o’clock to help Kylie organise the merchandise stand.

Meanwhile:

The guys were live in the radiobroadcast answering fan questions. Most of these question were asked many times before but Brian never mind answering them just as spontaneous as he always did. It was part of the job and this job paid pretty darn good. Besides he loved the fans. They were the ones that kept the Backstreetboys going for twenty years.

Ok, it wasn’t as crowded outside the station as it used to be in the nineties but still there were always these
Die Hard fans that waited for them in the pouring rain, storms and even blizzards to get picture or an autograph. It made sense of course. Most of the girls back then were grownups now. Most of them had jobs and families to take care of. But still, some of them even travelled the world to see them. The lack of privacy wasn’t always something Brian could handle but he learned to deal with it. After answering some more questions they performed “In A World Like This” live and “Madeleine”.

Because of the tight schedule they didn’t had enough time to get a proper lunch. After the broadcast Jen rushed to the nearest McDonalds that luckily was a crossed the road to get some food for the guys. Brian wasn’t that hungry. In fact he didn’t feel well at all. The feeling came up to him during the performance. It was a feeling he, unfortunately, became familiar with. Most of the times it lasted for fifteen minutes, maybe half an hour tops. He made a mental note to call the doctor as soon as he got home. Another six days had to be doable. Kevin stared at him “Are you ok?”. Brian looked up to him “Who me?”. “No Santa. Yes you, you idiot” Kevin grinned. “Oh I’m fine. Just a bit tired, that’s all” Brian brushed his eyes. “Tired? Again?” Kevin frowned “That doesn’t sound healthy bro”. Brian sighed annoyed “Come on Kev, I’m fine really. Just haven’t slept to well last night. That’s all”. “Ok, fine. Whatever. I just wished Jen would hurry up with the food. I’m starving” Kevin stretched out and brushed his hands through his hair. AJ and Nick where outside the bus waiting while AJ smoked a cigarette. Howie went for a little walk to call Leigh. Howie didn’t look too happy today. Brian made another mental note to talk to him as soon as he could. Luckily the sick feeling faded away. Jen returned and they quickly ate their lunch while driving to the next station.

Meanwhile:

Nicky was ready preparing the clothes and the shoes and walked to the other side, to the entrance of the venue. She crossed the main area where most of the other colleagues were building up the stage and installed all the equipment and lights. She loved the excited atmosphere on the day of the show. It got her pumped up and full of energy. Suddenly out of nowhere Jason surprised her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up. A scream escaped from her mouth. She knew Jason was just goofing around but deep down she knew Brian probably would be jealous. She pushed that thought away and giggled “You are such a tease” and slapped him on his arm. He gave her a hug “I’m sorry, did I startle you?” he smiled and looked her deep in her eyes while holding her. Nicky got shy “I don’t know, maybe a little” she blushed. She blushed a lot lately. She hated it because it made her feel like a little girl. Jason’s smile got even bigger “Ah, I’m sorry” and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. Now this freaked Nicky out. Like what the f. was this all about? She was confused. “Are you ok?” Jason looked worried. “Yeah, sure” she faked a smile “I need to go see kylie to help her build op the merchandise stand”. “Sure, go” Jason smiled “see you later babe”. “Bye” Nicky walked further. That really was awkward not to mention lousy timing. She used to have a crush on Jason until about six months ago. She’d accepted the fact that they were just friends and a guy like him would never, ever, be interested in a girl like her. She told herself like a million times that it was just impossible. She was glad the friendship between them was close and that she could trust him. But the way he had been acting today was strange. She didn’t know Jason like this.

Jason continued his work building up the stage. They had to rush things because within two hours the Sound check party started and everything had to be ready. He felt guilty about what he did to Nicky. Last night he’d been drinking with AJ, Kevin and Nick and the conversation somehow got to love and relationships. Jason had been a little drunk when they’d ask him if he had a girlfriend. He answered that he didn’t. The guys were shocked. They compared him looking like Christiano Ronaldo, the famous soccer player from Portugal. He knew he looked a lot like him and getting girlfriends never was an issue. But Nicky was something else. She never tried to get his attention that way. She was beautiful, cute, sweet, honest and always fun to hang around with. Being drunk he told them a little more than he’d usually would do and told them about his feelings for Nicky. They advised him to take things to the next level. Nick told him to be playful and gave him a couple of tips of how to do that.

Nicky got to Kylie and decided to keep things to herself. There was no need in making this a bigger deal. They made everything ready for the show. They talked about random stuff like fashion, make up, music, stuff like that.

After a while the guys came back from promo and walked inside the venue. While passing Nicky Brian gave her a big smile. Nicky lost all focus on her job. That guy really knew how to sweep her of her feet. “Nicky come on tell me” Kylie giggled. “Tell you what?” Nicky didn’t knew what she was talking about. “About this thing with B” she looked directly into Nicky’s eyes. “There’s nothing” Nicky blushed. “Yeah really. Hmmmm last time I know you were in a huge fight and I could’ve sworn you guys would never speak to each other and now he’s looking at you as if you’re the love of his life” Kylie smiled “You know I’m good at keeping secrets. You can trust me.” Nicky sighed “All I can say is that we made up”. “Hell yeah you did” Kylie still had that meaningful smile on her face “tomorrow we are having lunch and then you are going to tell me everything that happened”. “Fine, whatever. But you have to swear to keep things to yourself” Nicky gave in. “Of course, like I said you can trust me”.
They got interrupted with an incoming text on Nicky’s phone.

Brian: In 5 minutes u + me outside x

Nicky smiled

Nicky: finally xx

“I have to go see Jen about something” she smiled. “Sure you do you Liar” Kylie smiled “you go girl, have fun and tell B I said hi”.

Nicky quickly made her way outside and the second she stepped outside Brian took her hand and guided her around the corner of the building. Her heart raced through her body longing for him. He pressed her gently against the wall and cupped her face and brought his face close to her. He looked her deep into her eyes. His lips found hers and for a while they were caught up each other. Both Brian as Nicky lost themselves in this kiss. Nicky wrapped her arms around Brian’s neck and Brian’s hands explored Nicky’s upper body while their kiss lasted and lasted.
They suddenly heard footsteps just around the corner from where they were standing.

Brian and Nicky instantly froze. Brian brought his index finger to his mouth and Nicky nodded that she’d understood what he was saying.

A raspy voice sounded “Seriously, you have to promise me not to tell anyone ok” this was definitely AJ. The clicking of a cigarette lighter sounded. “Sure dude, you know you can trust me. Now tell me” Q answered and lighted his cigarette. AJ took a deep sigh “well, it’s kind of awkward you know. So embarrassing. I eh I can’t sorry”. “Come on” Q growled “it can’t be that bad. Spit out. I can see it’s bothering you”. AJ coughed and took a deep breath “well, remember I told you about the rash earlier?”. “You mean the rash you had on your back?” Q asked. “Yeah, that one. Well It’s extended” AJ told him. “Ah man, that sucks. You need to go the doctor as soon as you get back” Q blew out the smoke of the cigarette. “Yeah that’s the first thing I’m going to do as soon as I’m back home, it’s really fucking bad. It’s all red and it burns like hell. I can’t even sleep because of this fucking shit” AJ sounded frustrated. “But you say extended. To where?”. “Promise me that you’re not going to make fun of me” AJ begged Q. “It’s good man, I’d never do that” Q slapped him on his shoulder. “It’s extended to my ass as in the crack. It itches and burns and I can’t even perform on stage. It drives me insane”. Q couldn’t help but grin a little “Seriously that sucks”. “Oh come man, you promised not to laugh” AJ really felt embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to” Q quickly tried to stay serious “you can trust me man. It’s sucks”. “Yeah it really does. The cream I got at the pharmacy isn’t working very well” AJ sighed.

Nicky and Brian really had to supress the urge to laugh out loud. “OMG” Nicky whispered without making a sound. To make matters worse Brian imitated AJ as if he had to scratch his behind and Nicky had to force every inch in her body not to burst out in laughter.

Q and AJ threw the remains of the cigarettes on the ground and went back inside. After the door slammed behind them Brian carefully looked around to corner to make sure nobody was outside. He noticed the coast was clear “That really was too much information” he grinned. “It sure is” Nicky giggled. “It’s sounds like diaper rash for grown ups” Brian joked. Nicky couldn’t help but smile. “Anyway, I know what might help him. My dad used to have it when we were younger” Nicky continued. “You should tell him”. “Yeah? Hmmm AJ I overheard you, the other day, you know, when you talked to Q about your ass. I think I might know something” Nicky grinned “don’t think that’s going to work”. “You’re probably right. But you might try talking to him and let it slip during the talk” Brian suggested. Nicky brushed her neck with her hand “I’ll see what I can do” she smiled. Brian softly kissed her again. When he stopped he looked her deep in her eyes “I have to go back for sound check” and gave her another kiss. “Ok” Nicky sighed and kissed him back “any chance I’m going to see you tonight?”. “It’s going to be late tonight. I’m hosting the after party together with AJ and Kev” Brian frowned. “That sucks. I’m gonna miss you” Nicky sighed. “Same here” Brian gave her another kiss. He looked at his watch “Shit” he mumbled “I’m already late. I need to go inside”. They kissed one last time and Brian rushed inside. Nicky went back also.

From that moment on Nicky had to work non-stop. The only break she had was during diner. The boys ate dinner after sound check and by that time Nicky had to rush things in order to get everythings ready for the show in time.
About two hours later the fans were let inside the venue.

The show was about to begin and Nicky made her way to the dressing area. Nick came in first and Nicky quickly helped him in his outfit. “I haven’t spoken to you the last couple of days. How are you?” he asked while buttoning up his shirt. “Oh I’m fine. Brian and I made up”. Nick lifted his brows “really?” he asked surprised “when did that happen?” Nicky blushed “Oh a couple of days ago we talked and now we’re good. I’m glad.” Nick put on his shoes and tied the laces “Me too. I don’t like it when people fight, especially when they are close to me” an came upright. “Ah, thanks Nick. That’s sweet”. Nick hugged her “I mean it”. “I know you do” Nicky smiled.

Kevin and Howie came in and Nicky helped them get dressed too. Howie seemed to be in a good mood today. Brian told her a little bit about the troubled relationship he was in with Leigh. Kevin was joking the entire time she was busy with him. At one point she couldn’t stop laughing anymore. Most of the fans knew Kev as the serious one of the group but insiders knew the guy was just as goofy as Brian was.

Brian came in with AJ. Nicky’s attention was drawn to Brian when he shot her a secret seductive look as he took off his shirt. She had to push herself to not to get all over Brian. AJ undressed himself and Nicky looked at his back “Oh my goodness AJ” she was shocked “that looks nasty”. AJ hadn’t been overreacting when he told Q about the rash. “I know” he sighed “it f#cking hurts”. “You should see a doctor for this” Nicky took another look at the rash. Brian and Nick both wanted to take look too “Great” AJ sighed “let’s all stare at AJ’s back folks. Please stop it, it’s awkward” he turned around to face everybody. “Gee man, that looks painful” Nick looked worried at AJ. “It is, it itches and burns like hell. The cream I got from the drugstore doesn’t work. It drives me f#cking mad”. “I might have something for you back at the hotel that might help” she said. “Really? What is it?” AJ buttoned up his shirt. “Well, my dad used to have rashes like this a lot when we were younger. He used a cream he got from the doctor and a separate cream that’s also used for diaper rash. I have a jar with me. It worked for him so it might work for you too”. “I hope so” AJ was thankful “I’ll pick it up tomorrow” he hugged her. “Sure” she smiled.

After about ten minutes the boys where all dressed up. The guys left to go on stage but Brian stayed behind pretending his shoe lace was loose. He made sure the guys where gone and that no one could see them. “It looks like everybody is able to hug you in public except for me” he softened his voice and cupped her face with his hands. Nicky was mesmerized by Brian’s stare. He brought his face close to hers and kissed her deeply. She couldn’t think anymore and drowned in this kiss. She wrapped her arms around him and he pressed her close to him and then stopped the kiss. He looked her deep in her eyes “I’m glad I had the chance to have a little moment alone with you tonight”. Nicky nodded “me too” she whispered. “I really have to go now” he sighed. A last quick kiss and off he went.

The guys went on stage and an ear blowing noise sounded in the venue. Nicky smiled, these fans where so loud it gave her goose bumps every time it happened. The music of “Trust Me” began and Nicky couldn’t help but smile. She definitely could relate to this song. Unconsciously she moved by the rhythm of the song and hummed with the lyrics. She heard footsteps and voices coming near. Jason and two other crew members came around the corner. As soon as Jason saw her he couldn’t help but smile. He was falling for her, big time. “Hi” Nicky smiled. Gosh she looks stunning, Jason thought. While the music of “Love Somebody” began he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “I’m so in love I could die right now and be fine, I need you tonight” he lip synced to her. Nicky felt redness coming up from her neck. Suddenly she felt her phone vibe in her pocket. She pulled the phone out and saw on the screen it was her mom calling. “Hi mom” she picked up while taking off to a more quiet place to talk to her. Jason watched her as she walked away.

“Hi sweetie” her mom replied. “Everything ok?” Nicky asked worried. “Yes and no” her mom sighed. Nicky went inside one of the dressing rooms and sat down on bench. “The test results came back and the good news is that your brother doesn’t have cancer”. Nicky let out a sigh of relief “Thank heavens” she replied. “The bad news, however, is that he’s suffering from a severe lung infection. Because it’s been neglected for so long the doctors don’t know how much damage the infection has caused already. There might be scar tissue in his lungs which eventually can lead to other serious problems but they can’t tell yet”. Nicky was quiet for a moment. “And now? What’s going to happen next? She asked. “He’s immediately hospitalized and he’s now on an infusion with fluid and antibiotics 24/7 to fight the infection” her mom swallowed down the tears “he looks so weak Nicky. Really it’s….”. Nicky felt a big lump in her throat “I know” her voice was thick. She swallowed “Well maybe we should see it from the bright side mom” she started “at least it’s no cancer. That’s a big relief” she tried to cheer up her mom. “Yes that’s true. But it’s not that he’s out of danger yet” her mom replied “He still has this high fever and… I don’t know I eh.. I’m just so tired. It’s draining all my energy. I know I’m supposed to stay strong but it’s just” she sighed “hard”. “I wish I could be there with you” Nicky felt tears behind her eyes. “I know sweetie” her mother’s voice sounded on the other side “anyway you have to get back to work”. “They can wait” she replied. “No Nicky, seriously I don’t want you to get in trouble with your boss” her mom insisted “I’ll give you a call within a couple of days”. “Ok sure” Nicky gave in “I love you mom, give my little brother a big hug and a kiss ok?”. “I promise” her mom responded “I love you too baby. “bye”. “Bye” and the line went down.
Nicky sat there for a little while crying in silence. The fact that her brother still wasn’t out of danger made her scared. She’d hoped that along with the test results the light-hearted happiness would return within the family. But that still wasn’t the case yet. Time had to tell whether or not her brother would completely recover from this infection. She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. She stood up from the bench and took a quick look in the mirror. Her eyes where a little puffy from crying but she had to get back to do her job.

When she walked back inside she avoided to look anybody in the eye. She was almost back at her spot when she heard Jason’s voice behind her “Nicky”. My God, why now? She thought and turned around and faked a smile when she faced him. Jason came up to her “Are you ok?” “Yes, yes, I’m fine” she tried to give him a convincing smile. He didn’t believe her “come on Nicky. I know there’s something bothering you. You can tell me, what’s wrong” he looked her deep in her eyes. Nicky looked at the ground “I don’t want to talk right now Jase. I’m sorry. Maybe tomorrow. I just…”she rubbed her hand over her forehead “I need to get back to work” she sighed. Just as she wanted to step away from him he grabbed her by her wrist and pulled her into a hug. Even though Nicky was never going to admit it she’d really could use that hug at that moment. They stood there for a couple of seconds when Brian and the others came off stage. Brian’s eyes caught sight of them and his heart froze that very second. He was angry and all he wanted to do at that point was to beat the crap out of that asshole. Within a split second Nicky pulled herself from the hug, turned around and faced Brian. Her eyes widened when hers met Brian’s. “I’m sorry I….” she wanted to apologize to him. “No don’t” Brian interrupted her “You don’t have to answer to me. Just do whatever you think you have to do” he answered cold and turned his back at her. Jason stood there and watched what was happening with astonishment. “Sorry, did I miss something?” he stumbled to Nicky. Nicky sighed, this was getting out of hand “Jason, I’m sorry. I’ll explain it later ok?” she looked at him almost begging him to let her go. “Ok, sure. I eh have to go back too” he answered confused. “Ok. See you later” Nicky quickly made her way to see if she could catch up to talk to Brian. By the time she got back she realized he was already gone.

Nicky pulled out her phone and called Brian but she immediately got his voicemail. “Shit” she mumbled. She quickly typed a text:

‘Brian, please let me explain. It really is not what you think that happened.’

She pressed the send button. She immediately typed another text:

‘If you really care about me, like you said earlier, you let me explain. You are jumping to the wrong conclusions here. I’m not your ex. I’d never ever do something like that to you. Please give me a chance to explain!”

She tried calling him again but she got his voicemail again. “Please call me Brian. It’s not what you think” she spoke before she hung up.

Tears welled up in her eyes. This couldn’t be happening. She’d hoped that he would comfort her after she told him about her brother but now everything seemed to be ruined because of something that she hadn’t even done in the first place. Hell, she didn’t even had the chance to tell him about it.

‘You know what Brian, Fuck you. You said you cared about me but you don’t. Since you are ignoring me I’m going to, sadly, tell you by text what happened. My mom called. My brother is very ill and hospitalized since this afternoon. Doctors don’t know if he’s going to be alright. He has a severe lung infection and is very weak. They first thought it was cancer but thankfully it isn’t. Jason saw me shortly after that conversation and wanted to make sure I was ok. But you don’t care anymore right. Think whatever you want. Fuck You!’

And she pressed send. Wow, that where about 5 text messages. But it didn’t matter. She was angry at him and she felt sad and miserable and lonely. All at the same time.

She quickly finished her job and left to go back to the hotel.

When she returned to her hotel room she kicked her shoes out and dropped down on her bed. She still hadn’t heard anything from Brian. She cried her eyes out for a while and really felt miserable about all that had happened. Eventually she’d fell asleep.

Meanwhile:

Brian took a seat in the van. He put on a smile and pretended nothing happened but deep down he felt miserable. And of course, like it couldn’t happen at an even more lousy time than this, the battery of his cell died. And, to make it all a little more annoying, nobody had a phone charger with them. He felt guilty for how he’d acted to her tonight. But he couldn’t help it. These things were still a little sensitive since it all happened with Leighanne.

He stared out of the window where the raindrops danced over the glass. The radio played “She’s like the wind:

She's like the wind through my tree
She rides the night next to me
She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done

Feel her breath on my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind

His mind wondered off to Nicky. He was going to make it up to her. He sighed and closed his eyes.

After a short while he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and noticed that Howie had taken place next to him. He rubbed his eyes and sat up straight. “Hey” Brian sounded a little hoarse and swallowed to get his voice back. “Hey, you ok?” Howie looked at Brian. Brian nodded “yeah, I’m ok”. “Care to tell me what’s going on between you and Nicky?” Howie softened his voice so that only Brian could hear him. “I guess there’s nothing to tell” Brian sighed. “ What happened?” Howie asked. “I don’t know. I screwed up” he rubbed his face “I made up with Nicky after our fight earlier remember?”. Howie nodded. “Well, we” Brian paused for a second “let’s say things got a little romantic between us”. Howie’s eyes and eyebrows lifted “really?”. “yeah” Brian nodded “but, she has a male friend, you know Jason right”. Howie nodded while listening. “Well I have the feeling he has feelings for her and I eh…. I’m jealous. He hangs around her a lot and ... I don’t know. When we got off stage I saw her hugging him and I basically freaked out”. “Geez” Howie sighed “so you have something to do tomorrow, don’t you think?”. Brian nodded “I guess so. But how?”. “Well, maybe flowers and a sorry note? Or chocolate. Woman go nuts over chocolate” Howie smiled. “I’m going to have to think about it”. Howie slapped him on his shoulder “It’s gonna be ok bro”.

“What’s gonna be ok?” Nick’s head appeared over theirs as he leaned over their chairs “Nothing, you nosy brat” Howie pushed him down on his own seat. “Nosy brat? I only try to be sensitive here. Come on Bri you know you can tell me everything” Nick goofed around. “Leave him ok. Maybe he’ll tell you one day. You know, when you’re grown up and stuff” Howie laughed. “I feel left out” Nick pouted. Brian laughed “Ahhh, well too bad little one, this is grown up talk.”.

By that time they arrived at the club for the after party.
The rest of the night went by pretty quickly. The club was loaded with fans and Brian had obligations he had to fulfil to the crowd. During the party he was too busy to worry about Nicky. But when they were on their back to the hotel he secretly hoped Nicky would still be awake so he could make it up to her.

Back at the hotel Brian pretended he had to tie his shoe lace in order to be alone when he’d walked by Nicky’s room. The other guys already took the elevator and Brian was glad they did. He then took the elevator and went upstairs himself. When he stepped out into the corridor he quickly walked to Nicky’s room. He softly knocked on the door. He waited and knocked again but she didn’t opened. She must’ve been fallen asleep already. He left to his room feeling disappointed.

At his room he recharged his phone. He read the texts Nicky had send and felt even more like a jerk than he already did. That night he had trouble sleeping.

Jessie J: Nobody’s Perfect

Im Not a saint no not at all, but what I did it wasn't cool
But I swear that I'll never do that again to you
I'm not a saint, no not at all, but what I did it wasn't cool
but i swear that ill never do that again to you.
I hate that I let you down, and I feel so bad about it
I guess karma comes back around cause now I'm the one that's hurting yeah
And I hate that I made you think that the trust we had is broken
So don't tell me you can't forgive me
Cause nobody's perfect, no


The next morning Nicky woke up with a big headache. She apparently had fell asleep with her clothes on the other night and felt pretty bad. She sighed and got up from the bed. She dragged herself to the shower and got ready for the day.

Meanwhile Brian left his room and knocked on her door. She didn’t opened. Disappointed and a little anxious that she wouldn’t be able to forgive him he went downstairs for breakfast. Not being sure if he’d see her before they left for the next location he became nervous.

He took some scrambled eggs, toast and coffee from the buffet and sat down with Kevin “Good morning”. Kevin looked up at him and smiled friendly “Good morning” and continued reading his paper. He immediately saw there was something going on but he didn’t want to interfere. He knew Brian well enough to stay out of his business. If he wanted to discuss it he would bring it up himself. “Where did you get that?” Brian asked. “They are at reception” Kevin pointed. Brian quickly went to the reception to get one too. When he came back there still was no sign of Nicky. He began reading the newspaper and although he wasn’t that interested in the content of the paper it kept him occupied.

After what looked like eternity Nicky finally walked into the dining room. Brian immediately noticed her but she completely ignored Brian and sat down at the table with the other crewmembers.

After a while Brian couldn’t focus on the paper anymore and decided he was going to talk to her. He shoved his seat backwards and stood up. Kevin looked up to see what his cousin was up to and saw him walking up to Nicky. A little smile came on his face and he continued reading the article he was reading before.

While eating her bagel she suddenly felt a hand on her back “Nicky, can I talk to you?” she heard Brian’s soft voice and she froze. She turned around and looked into his guilty face. Nicky wanted to say no. At least, that’s what she’d promised herself before she left her room. But when Brian really came up to her table to ask her to talk to him she couldn’t refuse. Deep down she was glad he did because it meant he did care. She didn’t plan on making it easy for him though. She felt redness crawling up from her neck to her face as she stood up and followed Brian to the lobby of the hotel.

Jason watched it all from a distance and wondered what was going on. He felt a little jealous and insecure. He knew he had zero chance if he had to compete with Brian.

Brian scanned the lobby for a suitable quiet spot to talk. He walked all the way to the back and chose a table in the left corner. Nicky followed him. He shoved her seat backwards so she could sit down. “Thank you” Nicky mumbled. Brian sat down and an awkward silence fell between them. He looked at her and took a deep breath “I’m sorry” he said hoarse. Nicky didn’t respond and just looked at him. “I acted like a jerk yesterday. I came from stage and saw you with Jason and I” he paused for a second “I guess I overreacted. You know what I went through with Leighanne and seeing you with Jason really freaked me out”. Saying these words made him feel even more embarrassed about last night. He noticed the tears that welled up in her eyes and in an impulse he grabbed her hands. Now he really felt like a jerk “Aw, I’m sorry baby. I really am”. Tears rolled down her face and it took a moment before she was able to speak. She rubbed the tears away and cleared her throat “Did you read my text?”. Brian blushed “Yes. I did”. She sighed “Jason and I are close friends. It’s been that way practically since day one. You know how life on tour can be and Jason has always been there for me you know.” she looked up to him and Brian nodded. “my mom called me yesterday to tell me about my brother” she continued “Jason knew I was waiting for the call and when he saw me coming back afterwards he wanted to comfort me. So I guess that’s all” she shrugged. She swallowed “Listen, there’s nothing going on between me and Jason. I understand how you must have felt seeing me hugging him but you have to know that I’d never do something like to you”. He nodded and looked down at the table “I know, but it’s just… I’m scared” he softened his voice. Hearing him saying these words really made her feel bad for him. When he looked back up
to her she saw tears in his eyes. She got up from her chair and stepped to the other side where Brian was sitting. He looked at her and when she sat down on his lap he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry too” she whispered and kissed him. Brian squeezed her tight and answered her kiss. After what seemed like forever they pulled back and smiled to each other. “You asshole” she smiled. “Stupid woman” he smiled softly placed a kiss on her hair. After a moment of silence and him caressing her hair he asked her “Do you still want to keep things a secret? It’s pretty annoying to lie and be so secretive all time”. Nicky smiled “But you where the one who said we had to keep things quiet”. “I did, did I?” he frowned. “I’m fine if we’d open up to the others” she shrugged. “Thank You Lord” Brian sighed. Nicky giggled “No, I’m Nicky nice to meet you”. “Oh you think you’re funny hey” he smiled “You are sooooo gonna regret that” he said with a wicked grin and tickled her until she begged him to stop.

Brian heard Nicky’s stomach rumble “you should eat something sweetie”. Nicky tucked a string of hair behind her ear “Yeah, that would be nice” she smiled. They got up and Brian held her hand while they went back for breakfast. When they came back into the dining room Nick and Kevin where the only ones really paying attention at them, and Jason of course. Brian felt Nicky hesitating a bit and squeezed her hand to reassure her. He smiled into her eyes and Nicky couldn’t help but smile too. “So what do you say babe, you want to go sit with the crew or are you joining me for breakfast?” he asked. Nicky smiled “If you get me some coffee I’ll join you ok”. Brian smiled and pulled her close to give her a little kiss on her cheek.
Nick and Kevin watched it all happening and grins appeared on their faces. Brian and Nicky walked up to them and Brian couldn’t help it that his smile grew wider and wider as they came closer “What?” he pretended nothing had happened. Nick played innocent too “Nothing bro”. “Good! Anyone wants some coffee?” Brian smiled. “Sure” Nick and Kevin answered at the same time. “I don’t I join you” Nick stood up and gave Brian a meaningful look. “Sorry Nicky, how do you drink your coffee?” Brian turned around to her and waited for her to answer. “Oh just coffee with milk” she smiled. He smiled back and blinked at her.

Nicky sat down at the table with Kevin. “So you guys made he up?” Kevin asked curious. Nicky blushed “Yeah, I guess you can say that”. Kevin smiled “good to hear that”. “Thanks. So what are you guys doing to do today?” Kevin shrugged “we’re going to next location and this afternoon we have to show up in a radio show and right after that we have to do a foto shoot and a interview for a magazine. Oh and tonight we’ll be in a tv show” he took a bite from his croissant. “Wow, talking about a tight schedule” Nicky said. Kevin nodded while chewing.

She looked up behind her and saw Brian and Nick coming back with a tray of cups. When they entered the table he put the tray on the table so everyone could pick their own cup. “In case the Backstreetboys quit one day you always have a chance to get a career as a waiter” Nicky joked. Nick and Kevin laughed. Brian pretended to be insulted “Whoa, stop it young lady. Show a little respect hey”. “Haha, just kidding” she giggled. He placed his arm around her shoulder “you are so going to punished for that tonight” he whispered in her ear. Nicky cheeks turned red while Brian gave her an evil grin. OMG what did she get herself into?

Jen came up to the table to make sure the boys would leave in time. Later Nicky and the others would follow them to the next hotel. Brian said he’d call her later today if he could and they took off. About an hour later she and crew left too and after travelling to the new hotel and getting checked in Nicky had the rest of the day off. She made a quick call to her mom and heard that her has been stable through the night. He still had the fever but it fortunately didn’t get any worse.

After she unpacked she went for lunch with Kylie. They took a cab to the city centre and ended up in a lunchroom. They ordered and enjoyed a nice cappuccino as they waited for their food.

“So tell me, what’s going on between you and Brian?” Kylie asked she took a sip from her coffee. Nicky told her what happened at the pool the other day, told about Jason, she also talked about her brother, the things that happened yesterday and this morning. When she was done filling her in they had finished their food and Kylie couldn’t believe what she’d heard. “Wow Nick, but about Jason how do you feel about this all?”. Nicky shrugged “I don’t know. It’s weird. A couple of months ago it was all I’d ever wanted but now everything’s changed you know. I finally had peace that me and Jason would never, you know, would date and all $and now this” Nicky sighed ”I don’t know what to think of it honestly”. Kylie took her wallet and paid the bill “Maybe you shouldn’t worry so much about. Just let it happen. It’s all been a little too much action the last couple of days. Just relaxed a little”. “Maybe you’re right” she sighed and took her bag. They went back to the hotel.

Kylie had booked herself a spa treatment earlier and Nicky spend the afternoon reading a book and listening to some music. So every once in a while she looked at her cell to see if she had a message or maybe even missed a call but nothing came in.

Just when Nicky wanted to take a shower before dinner she heard a soft knock. She opened the door and was surprised to find Jason behind it. “Hi” she smiled surprised. “Hi” Jason returned the smile. “You want to come in?” Nicky asked. “Sure” he stepped in her room. He carried a grocery bag and sat down on the couch. He took out two cans of coke and bag of potato chips.

“So you talked to your mom yesterday, tell me, how’s your brother doing?” he asked while he ate some chips. Nicky told him all and took a hand of chips out of the bag. “Ok, so he’s stable now” he asked. “Yes” she nodded while she chewed. “I’m glad for you Nick. I know he isn’t there yet but still” he looked at her with his beautiful brown eyes and for a moment she was caught by his stare. It made her feel confused not to mention guilty especially since she had made up with Brian this morning. Besides they were only friends and it bothered her that she all of a sudden felt like this again. She forced herself to ignore her feelings at that point and continued the conversation. “I’m glad it’s just the infection and not something else” Nicky sighed. “Same here” he took a sip from his coke.

For a moment there was this awkward silence between them. Jason finally took a deep breath “And do you” he paused for a second “want to tell me what’s happening between you and Brian?”. Nicky’s heart skipped a beat and redness crawled up from her neck “eh…” she didn’t knew exactly what to tell him “what do you want to know?” she asked hoarse. Jason played with his can and looked up at her “everything” he answered. All she could do was tell him. They’d been friends for so long and lying to him simply felt wrong so she told him everything.

Jason wasn’t amused with what she’d told him but he chose not to let her know that. Deep down he knew a girl like her would never fall for him. He knew that very well. He only wished that it wasn’t Brian Littrell she had feelings for. That was like playing a game of darts as an amateur against a champion like Phill Taylor. Destined for failure. She also told him about what happened yesterday. A part of him just couldn’t stand Brian. The way, he heard, Brian treated her yesterday made him angry. “Just promise me one thing ok?” he asked her as he laid his hand on hers “that if you ever need someone to$ talk to, or a shoulder for that matter, you come to me, ok?”. Nicky nodded and smiled shy. He stood up “I should go”. Nicky got up from the couch too. She brushed the crumbs of chips from her jeans and followed him to the door. Before he stepped out her room he turned around to her one last time “Nicky, I promise you if that guy ever does something to hurt you he’ll have to answer to me. He’ll better be good to you” he cupped her face with his hands and pierced her eyes with his stare “You only deserve the best Princess” he bended over to her and before Nicky realized what had happened he gave her a small kiss on her forehead and left.

She closed the door and was bedazzled. She didn’t knew what to think anymore. She was falling head over heels for Brian but there was still a part of her that had feelings for Jason. “aaaaaahhhhhhh” she growled out loud feeling frustrated. Instead of taking a shower she decided to put on her gym clothes and headed off to the gym of the hotel. She had to take her mind off of it for a moment. She had the gym all for herself and for forty five minutes she ran on the treadmill, she then lifted weights, trained her abs and spend half an hour on the cross trainer. Out of breath and soaked in sweat she went back to her room and took a hot shower. When she was done her mind was clear again. She wanted Brian and that’s it.

After dinner Brian called her. They were probably coming back late so they agreed he would stop by her room tomorrow.

She then went over to Lauren and Leigh where Kylie later joined them too and played cards and board games in the hotel lobby. After a couple of hours they all went back to their rooms and went to sleep.