In his eyes his eyes he was just a normal guy, he loves to hang out with his friends, he loved video games, and had plenty of friends and family to go around. He always felt that he was missing something in his life though. It was love.  He hadn’t had much luck in the relationship department he always had an abundance of women flocking at his feet, but none of them meant anything special.  He felt it was hard to maintain a relationship in his line of business when he wasn’t recording a new record he was touring and when he wasn’t touring he was in the studio, which made it hard either way.

 He often wondered when he would find love and where he would find it , that was until he met her in a game.  Would this be a lust, or a love? He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t about to let it slip out of his hands. He didn’t want to sit around and wonder “what if” forever. He made the jump at the first chance he had, will it turn into something?  He doesn’t know, but he will do whatever it takes to see if this is something real.

 

 

He walked into his lonely Florida home and set his keys down on a table that set next to the door. It had been a little lonely these days since him and his girlfriend of three years split. She couldn’t handle the media attention anymore, which unfortunately comes with the territory of dating a famous pop star, but she knew exactly what she was getting into when they started dating in the first place. He walked into the kitchen and there wasn’t anything to cook. His girlfriend did all of the cooking, it didn’t matter how late it was it was always there for him when he got home from a long day at work.  He grumbled to himself as he walked back through his kitchen and grabbed his keys off the little table and got into his car and drove to the grocery store.

He walked down the frozen food isle and grabbed some simple frozen pizzas and put them into his cart, being so late at night he didn’t feel like cooking. He walked up and down all the isles in the store just putting whatever he could find into his cart he was feeling lonely and figured a few snacks couldn’t hurt him. He walked up to the nearest cashier and started putting his items on the belt.

“Hello Sir, did you find everything okay tonight?” she asked.

“Yea, just been a long day is all. I think I am going to go home pop in these pizzas and have a nice relaxing night in front of some video games” he replied as he flashed a smile.

“That sounds like fun! I’m not much of a gamer, but I have four brothers who are always playing some kind of game” She chuckled. He gave her a smile and swiped his debit card.

“Have a good night Stacy” he smiled as he grabbed his groceries and drove home.

XXXXXXXXXX

                Thirty-one hundred miles away in Washington she was trying to settle her children down, but this just wasn’t quite working out in her favor. She had always been a little bit of a pushover when it came to her kids.  She has been a single mother since her son was first born even though she and her boyfriend were “together” they lived in different states. They were together but she felt abandoned by him because he refused to help with the kids financially she had to do it all he just gave up and then a drunken night and before she knew it her daughter was born. She had to live with her parents and three younger sisters until she could get out onto her own, but that was starting to feel almost impossible.

                “Hunter, leave your sister alone” she said raising her voice. Hunter looked at his mother who was giving him a stare down. Hunter just smiled and knocked his little sister in the head with a toy,” Hunter James!” she exclaimed she walked over to the little brown haired boy,” You need to apologize to your sister right now” he shook his head no,” Hunter you have two choices either you say you’re sorry or I will put you into the corner for a time out.”

“I sowwie sissy” he said. She knelt down to his level.

“Hunter, look at mommy. You can’t do that to your sister, you can really hurt her.” She hugged the little boy.” Now, go play by yourself for a little bit.” She watched Hunter run towards the direction of his building blocks. She let out a sigh and walked over to her daughter.

“Its’ ok baby girl, your brother is just having a bad day today” she said picking her up and kissing her forehead where Hunter had hit her. She took her and set her down by her own little pile of toys. She let out another sigh. She went and sat down on her computer and wondered if she would ever find anyone who would love her. Who would want all this baggage?  Their dad doesn’t care about them he just comes and visits when he feels like giving a shit for that month. She has gone out with friends who have attempted to set her up but once they find out she has two young small children they always make up some excuse to leave or they never call again. The whole situation was discouraging to her she was starting to give up on love, her boyfriend didn’t care if he didn’t care then who would? She didn’t want to give up she had two children who greatly depended on her.  She hopes one day she can forget her boyfriend and just find someone who loves her for her and mostly importantly loves her children the way that she does.

 

 

It was a new day in the Johnson household. The day had begun just like any other day she got up with the kids did breakfast, snack, lunch, and then nap peace and quiet at last! Rayna decided to hop onto her computer and check out her Facebook to see if her boyfriend had messaged her, and to her surprise there was nothing.

“Ugh,” she groaned,” It’s like I never exist anymore. Why do I even bother wasting my time? He never answers my phone calls, emails, or Facebook,” she said aloud to herself. She closed out her web browser and then opened up her windows media player and fumbled through some of her favorite song and she came across a song from Blake Shelton.

If we had known our love would come to this

We could have saved our hearts the hurt, of wasted years

Well it’s been fun what else can I say?

If the feelings gone words won’t stop you anyway

If being frees worth what you leave behind

And if it’s too late for love to change your mind

Then it’s goodbye time

Rayna sang along with the song. As much as she wanted to leave him she wanted to make things work between them for the sake of the kids, they deserve a father.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was just another day at the recording studio for Nick, him and the guys were in the process of recording for their latest album “This Is Us”.  Nick was late to the studio he had woken up late as normal. He had a lot on his mind from the night before.

“There he is,” Brian said.

“Yea, sorry I am late my alarm didn’t go off in time,” he replied.

“Which is code for I was up late playing video games all night long” he laughed.

“Whatever Rok, I was only on there for an hour. I had other shit that happened” Nick shot back.

“Wanna talk about it?’ Brian asked. Brian had always been his best friend even when him and Leighanne got married they still remained really close. Nick let out a sigh.

“Do we even have time? I am already late as it is”

“You might be late but look around you bro Howie Is still M.I.A” he looked around and saw Brian was right.

“It’s Kara, she called last night. She apologized about everything and wants to reconcile” he said.

“Dude! You’re insane if you take her back. She isn’t worth it. She’ll just end up hurting you again or worse use you again. Please tell me you aren’t considering this.” Nick ran his fingers through his hair,” What did you do?”

`”Nothing”

“Liar, you can’t lie you have always been a terrible liar. You told her you would get back together didn’t you?”

“Not exactly, I just told her I would think it over and then get back to her. No big deal really bro,” Brian gave Nick a disappointed look.

“I know you don’t want to hear this bro but my advice is don’t do it. I am tired of seeing you get hurt. All of us are just be careful bro, you just need to get back out there, there is someone for you, you just need to go and look for her,” Brian said,” I promise you will know when you have found the right person and it will all be worth it,” Brian walked into the next room. Nick knew he was right , but why did he keep going back to someone who clearly didn’t love him the same as he loved her. Nick pulled out his cell phone

“I’m sorry Kara…I just can’” he sent the text. He felt almost relieved one door was closed and maybe another one will open before he knows it.

"Goodbye Time" By Blake Shelton

As the days passed it turned into months Rays grew more impatient with her boyfriend. He never wrote or called and even when he did it was just for a five minute conversation she felt like they didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can I be completely honest with you?” Raya asked.

“I guess.”

“Why don’t you care for us anymore? You walked out I took you back, you said you were a changed man you said everything would be okay, and yet here I am still sitting here at my parents’ house.”

“I told you this would take some time Raya. This place is in complete shambles. I am not always going to have time for you”

“Well that’s just fantastic John. I practically am raising our children by myself because you can’t get off your ass and find a real job that is actually paying money. You told me when you went down there that this would be good for our family and it wouldn’t tear us apart. I sit here and bust my ass to find a job to provide for the kids. I have to go though I have my kids to take care of” Rayna hung up the phone. Raya sighed,” Ugh! That man makes me so angry sometimes. I don’t understand how hard it is to help take care of your kids. I should have never taken him back. I should have just walked away when I had the chance too.” Rayna thought to herself.

Rayna scooped up her daughter and tucked her into bed

“Good-night baby girl mommy loves you, see you in the morning.” She kissed Olivia on the forehead. Hunter already had himself all tucked into bed.

“Look mama I got myself into bed all by myself”

“You sure did buddy, you are such a big boy, but it’s time for bed now good night mommy loves you. I will see you in the morning” Rayna kissed him on the forehead as well and shut their door. As she walked back to her room she couldn’t help but think of getting out of this place she was tired of living with her parents’ and she was certainly tired of dealing with drama with John.

Now that both kids’ were tucked into bed it was time for Rayna to settle down onto her computer. John had gotten her into World of Warcraft he thought it would make them closer together since he was so far away. She logged onto her account to get ready for her raid. She had a message from her guild master.

“Hey Ther, We got a new healer tonight a couple of friends of mine say he is really good and he knows all the fights. I’d like to try and bring him along tonight; Gramps said he wants to tank so we would be down a healer anyway. His name is IShiftMyself and he is boomkin/resto see ya tonight at the raid sis love ya!”

Rayna quickly looked him up on the armory and was quite impressed with all his achievements and all his gear he had accumulated.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rayna was quite impressed with this healer he explained everything so well that they were actually getting bosses down they had never downed before.

“Alright guys, be back in about five minutes. Excellent job tonight so far” Rob said over vent.

“K, I’ll be back I gotta go and grab something.” Rayna had been paying very close attention to Shift she thought his voice sounded very familiar but she figured it would just be too good to be true.

Shift: Btw, you are one fantastic druid healer ;)

Rayna: You’re crazy! Have you seen your heals?!? They are insane!

Shift: w/e you’re totally kicking my ass also, love your raid music

Rayna blushed on the other side of the computer screen blasting her Backstreet Boys music playlist

Raya: lol, thanks I can’t help it, their music gets me into a good mood to raid and just to lie back, being a mom of two kids’ isn’t easy most days.

Shift: I bed, I have seen first-hand and girl I am not sure if I would know what to do with screaming babies’ lol

Raya: lol, you get used to it ;)

On the other end of the of the computer screen almost 3100 miles away Nick sat there becoming more curious about this raid member. There was just something he wanted to know about her after all she was listening to what seemed their entire music library. He felt like maybe he already knew her in some way it sounded crazy, but yet it felt right all at the same time.

Another month went by and Rayna still hadn’t heard from John, now when she called it would go straight to voice mail and he wouldn’t even talk to her when she knew he was on Facebook. How can that even classify as a relationship? While Rayna didn’t have John to talk to she did have someone however who would listen. Shift and she have gotten closer since she seems to see him a lot more than John lately. Anytime Shift was online they’d talk for hours and run random’s together they almost acted like a couple if people didn’t know any better.

Shift: Rayna can I ask you a serious question?

Rayna: I guess.

Shift: Why do you continue to stick with John? From my point of view he doesn’t own up to any of his responsibility as a father let alone a parent.  I mean shouldn’t he be there helping you?

Rayna sighed.

Rayna: It’s complicated Shift. I love him, but I don’t all at the same time. I mean it is hard yes, but he enjoys doing this taekwondo thing and if he takes over the business for Hunt we will have it made.

Shift: But what if it doesn’t pan out? I am sorry for bringing this up. I shouldn’t have, it’s not my place to discuss your marital status or even give you advice when I can’t seem to keep a hold of my own. I am just worried about you.

Rayna: It’s ok Shift. I understand why you are so concerned and worried. If I was in your position I think I would be worried about myself too. I figured if it didn’t pan out I could always go back to school even though I already tried that and I failed miserably but if I had to I would. I’d go get a degree and provide for my children with or without the help from John, and I am sure your love life is better than mine lol.

Shift: I am glad you have a backup plan in place, and no my love lift sucks. No love for this man but you will always have me :)

Rayna smiled. Shift made her smile quite often. She wished John was more like Shift. Shift cared about her asked about the kids every day. She found herself thinking about Shift and wondered who he was and wondered if he was thinking about her too.

Rayna: Well I am glad I have someone on my side. Any girl would be insane not to love you.

Shift: lol, they sure love me but they use me unfortunately, but that is a story for another time my dear. I have to get ready for work. I’ll be back on later tonight though.

Rayna: You know, I still don’t know what you do. You like refuse to tell me which makes me think you are some secrete agent or something hell maybe even a stripper lol.

Shift: A stripped eh? I could see how you would think that but no I am neither of those, believe me you would probably never guess in a million years. You will know soon enough and don’t think I don’t trust you or anything but it’s hard being me sometimes.

Rayna: I understand. I figured it wasn’t “easy” hell I don’t even know your name lol, but whatever it is your secret is safe with me. Anyway go get ready for work and I will see you on tonight :)

Shift: Hehe good to know

Shift signed off. Rayna was defiantly curious about Shift and what he does it made her wonder if he was famous or something.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nick started to get dressed and thought about Rayna. He knew she deserved to know about him he felt closer to her more than Kara, and Paris hell more than any other girl he has been with. Why was he so scared? Why couldn’t he just say “Hey, I’m a backstreet boy?” but would she believe him? She obviously wouldn’t laugh since she listens to them while she raids every week. Nick sighed.

“I guess I will talk to Brian and see what he thinks. This is killing me” Nick quickly grabbed his keys and headed out the door to the studio. He was the last one there, “Figures I think I am on time and I am late”

“Yo, Nick why are you late bro?” AJ Asked.

“I slept in I guess.”

“It’s noon you cannot lie worth shit you’re terrible at it. Who is the girl?”

“Why do you assume there is a girl?”

“You have that look on your face. You’re beaming like a pregnant lady” AJ chuckled. The rest of the guys came walking in.

“Did we hear Nicky boy is talking to a girl?” Howie asked.

“You know you all are worse than a bunch of teenage girls” Nick said.

“And your point is? Who is she” Brian asked.

Nick sighed.

“You’ll never understand when I tell you this believe me.”

“Nick, I think we have heard it all by now we will find out one way or another” Nick let out another sigh.

“I met her on World of Warcraft,” the guys started to chuckle,” I being totally serious here guys. I got into this guild and we just sort of hit it off. The only downside is, she is engaged and has two kids a boy and a girl. I haven’t told her who I am yet she doesn’t even know my name but I am pretty sure if I tell her she will either a) freak out or b) just not believe me.”

“Why would she freak out?”

“She has like a whole backstreet library playlist thing she listens to every week while we raid,” Nick chuckled,” I know this is crazy and hell I don’t even understand it myself but she makes me happy and this is completely different she lives in Washington, but I don’t know what to do I guess. I am afraid I have completely fallen for this girl who is getting married one day, but I guess I am hoping she feels the same way about me.”

“Well I think we can all say the same thing Nick, just go for it. You will never know unless you just do it. She could be the one and if you never went for it you may regret it, but I would find out if she feels the same since she is engaged in all. Do you think she feels the same way about you even though she doesn’t know who you are?” Brian said.

“I don’t know I just have a gut feeling I guess. I feel like we are a couple without even realizing we are a couple. Its hard to explain, but I will do some thinking and see what I can come up with.”

“As nice as this little therapy session is about Nick’s love life we probably should start getting to recording.” Howie said.

Howie was right. What does he have to lose? If it doesn’t work out they can still be close friends and if it works out he will finally be complete.

Nick often thought to himself about Rayna. He couldn’t help it he was falling for her. He hoped she was feeling the same way even though she was engaged to be married. They both knew it wasn’t a healthy relationship but he understood why she wanted to try and work things out. Nick’s phone suddenly rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey bro what’s up?” It was Brian.

“Not much just sitting here bored in my living room and bored out of my fracking mind.”

“Not playing with your WoW girlfriend?”

“She isn’t on right now the kids were being terrors so she had to get off”

Brian kind of chuckled

“Well kids’ tend to make you kind of busy. You really like her don’t you?”

“Rok, I think I am just completely falling for this girl. I haven’t even seen a picture yet been too chicken I guess, but this is different, this is real”

“Then stop sitting there wondering and just tell her didn’t we just have this conversation last week? You need to tell her. You can’t just sit there and wonder forever if you do that you may lose the one person you will ever truly love”

“What if..” Nick started to trail off but was interrupted.

“Stop! The wondering and the “what ifs” won’t help; you need to understand what I am telling you. I am sure Rayna’s friends are telling her the same thing back in Washington. You just need to go and get off your ass and go for it.” Nick sighed.

“How do I always manage to get myself into these situations?”

“Cause it’s you,” Brian laughed,” But in all seriousness because you get attached and then it’s hard to let go, but you can let go of the past and move on. If this girl is worth it won’t make any difference that you dated Kara, Paris, or all the other girls you have been with because Rayna is the one you truly want and will love forever. You just have to make up your mind and see if this is worth taking the risk. There are a lot of feelings and a ton of stuff to get used, and also think about her kids there are two little ones here and if you’re not ready to go for it you don’t want them feeling abandoned especially if they get attached to you. I am sure your heart has made up its mind but now your head needs to do some thinking. I am here to talk anytime bro. I would talk some more but Leighanne needs some help in the kitchen its family pizza night.”

“Thanks Rok, for everything.”

“Anytime” Nick hung up the phone. Brian was right his heart was in the right place. He loves Rayna but he doesn’t know her children he hasn’t even physically seen her he just knows the heart and soul of Rayna from their late night talks on World Of Warcraft. Nick decided to log onto WoW for a little bit to get his mind off of everything and Rayna was online and within seconds Nick had a message from her.

Rayna: Hey you! Been waiting for you.

Shift: Yeah sorry I was on the phone with a friend.

Rayna: Everything ok? You have been down lately. Are you having girl problems? ;)

Shift: Not really girl problems, but I DID want to talk though.

Rayna: Alright, I am all ears kids’ are napping.

Shift: I think its time for you to know who I am, and what I do I just hope you understand why I haven’t told you yet.

Rayna: Shift, you know I will always understand just like you understand me.

Shift: I am Nick…from the Backstreet Boys and I couldn’t tell you because I was too chicken I didn’t want you to run away or not take me seriously because I really like you and I really care about you. If you don’t want to talk to me I understand completely. My heart has been hurting because I haven’t been able to tell you the truth, and I wanted to tell you so bad, but I just wanted to you know that I care about you very much and I will always be here for you no matter what the outcome of this conversation is.

Nick was relieved to get everything off his chest and out into the open but he was scared all at the same time.

Rayna: Why couldn’t you just tell me? You say you can trust me with everything but you keep this from me? Believe me I get why it is so hard being you, you’re fracking famous! This is hard for me to process right now hell I don’t even know what to think how can I be so sure that his IS you?

Shift: If you have known my track record with girls that is why I didn’t tell you, too scared of getting hurt for the first time in my life I am happy. I enjoy your company I can forget I am a Backstreet Boy and just be normal no talking about where are we going to go on our next vacation or where our new house will be or I need a new car. I got tired of every single person using me Rayna. I couldn’t risk it, my heart couldn’t take it. I can honestly give you proof that this IS me if you want it, just give me a few minutes and check my twitter and Facebook account and you will see the proof.

All Nick saw was Rayna logging off. He felt heartbroken all over again. He let himself get attached to someone he has never met but he still decided to prove to Rayna that his was indeed him whether she saw the photo or not.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rayna had a hard time being able to process it all. It was more of a matter of believing him than anything. If was truly who he was why couldn’t he just say it they were good friends in all. Rayna knew it was him deep down after all he was her favorite Backstreet Boy she decided that she would go and check out this “message” and see if he kept his word. She didn’t have a twitter account so she logged onto her Facebook and sure enough just like he promised he was holding a piece of paper which wrote

“Hi Rayna, Hunter, and Olivia…I hope to see you in the world of Azeroth…and Rayna I’m sorry”

His page was already booming with comments on who is Rayna and why was Nick apologizing could Rayna get used to being under a microscope twenty-four hours a day could she subject her children to this? She was still with John Rayna had a lot of thinking to do.

Nick hadn’t seen or heard from Rayna. He figured she had already made up her mind. He felt sad and just heartbroken. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for himself getting attached when he clearly knew it was just too good to be true. At the same time, she needed to know who he was because he couldn’t just keep it a secret forever. The media was going crazy over the messages he sent via twitter and Facebook. He had yet to explain the message and he probably never would especially if she never talked to him again.

Nick decided to log onto World of Warcraft for the first time in a week. He was getting ready to leave guild when he saw Rayna pop online. His heart sank into his chest.

Rayna: Hey, I wanted to apologize to you for not responding, I had a lot to think about.  I had to make up my mind and just listen to myself. I know you are wondering what my answer is, but I honestly don’t have one right now. I can tell you that we are still friends. I understand why you couldn’t tell me you were a Backstreet Boy. I have followed you for years. I know everything about you, so maybe I just didn’t want to get hurt or get my hopes up and have them come crashing down. I hope you can forgive me, Nick.

Nick just sat there in his chair. Rayna put a smile on his face, despite all the stuff she had just put him through over this last week. She made him happy and was the one he wanted to spend forever with, whether she realized it or not.

Nick: I am sorry too, Rayna. I should have told you. You have no idea how relieved I am that you still want to be friends. I really do care about you more than you probably will ever know. Well... now that we have gotten everything cleared up... is it possible to finally see you? Like a picture perhaps? I noticed there weren’t any on your Facebook page.

Rayna: That’s because I don’t have any of me up there…believe me... I am no super model or anything. I'm just an ordinary girl, but if you really want to see one I will send you one in a few days. I am still in shock mode here, but I promise you will get something... and after all... I know what you look like ;)  But it looks like my monsters didn’t stay sleeping long. I shall be back on later.

Nick: Fair enough see you later then :)

Rayna logged off. It was nice to know she would always be around, but the question of being more than just friends still remained.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rayna had a lot of decisions to make. To leave John or not, was the question that was weighing heavily on her mind. Her kids being around the media all the time, how would everything work when Nick went on tour with the boys? Would he call or would it be like it is now with John? She didn’t really have any friends to talk to about this kind of stuff. Most of them disappeared when she had kids. None of them liked John and didn’t want to deal with the drama. She was so confused on the whole situation. She was thinking of leaving John for good but how would she even determine that? What would just set her off to the point of just leaving? She was pretty sure her mind was made up, but her heart was entirely just not sure yet. It was too afraid of getting hurt.

Rayna awoke from a strange dream, she dreamt of a late friend of hers. She was telling her to “let go” Rayna didn’t quite understand what this meant she almost thought it was some kind of a sign that she needed to let go of the past and move on. John wasn’t any good for her, he wasn’t around raising the kids or helping financially she was doing it all. She wanted some kind of sign to know that it was alright to let go. What would make this worth letting go? Having everything she would have ever dreamed of? Would everything just crash and burn and not work out? Then what would she do? She’d be in the same predicament she was in the first place living with her parents, no job and no money. As Rayna sat there and pondered her phone rang and to her surprise it was John.

“Hey beautiful, I’m sorry I haven’t called you in a while been busy work”

“Mhmm”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means sure you have been “busy” I got tired of calling you I figured you would call at some point to check on us, if you ever did”

“Don’t start this shit Rayna, you know I have been busy all I do is think about you and the kids. All of this work I am doing I am doing for us”

“But you aren’t even getting paid for it John. What don’t you understand about that? I am flat broke, I have no money, no job and my parents have to pay for everything right now.”

“But I will be in time. I have to go and we’ll finish this conversation later”

“You know what? No we won’t be finishing this conversation later. I am just done John I am just done with everything. I cannot deal with it any longer.”

“What do you mean by done?”

“Me, you, your job it's just everything.” All Rayna could hear was the screaming of swear words on the other end of the phone.

“Just answer me this one question, is there someone else?” Rayna was silent she didn’t know what to say,” Well then I am just going to take that as a yes.” John hung up the phone. Rayna sighed that was not how she was expecting the conversation to go was this her sign from her dream? Maybe her heart was finally telling her John wasn’t worth the trouble and heartache, but why did she feel so terrible? A few minutes later her phone rang again.

“Hello?”

“Hey Ray its Hunt.”

“Oh hey, I assume you heard everything?”

“Yes, I did and I just wanted to call and say I’m sorry I feel like this is how some of my fault and I understand why you are so upset with him. He told me he hasn’t exactly been the best at communication for the last few months; he said you were more frustrated than anything.”

“Yes, I am frustrated with him, he keeps saying all these things and then they never happen he expects me to move down there. He doesn’t have any kind of plan on where we will be living, what we will be doing for money since he isn’t getting paid, which I totally understand by the way, I do not want to end up living on the streets with the kids all because he couldn’t get his shit together.”

“He seems to think there is someone else, is there? Please just answer me truthfully.” Rayna debated on whether to tell him or not.

“Yes, but it’s like nothing official or anything it’s not like I am cheating or anything, you should ask him about the cheating if this is what he is assuming. I haven’t even decided anything all I know is I cannot deal with him I just can’t after six years of putting up with his cheating and the verbal abuse I am just done Hunt.”

“Give me a month Ray. I can change him. I know I can, you just have to trust me.”

“No, I can’t do that I’m sorry. I took him back once and this is where it ended up. I cannot put myself through this mess again when it crashes and burns. I am sure this messes with your business Hunt and I am sorry about that.”

“No, I understand Ray. He is pretty upset right now and is kind of capable of anything but I will keep you posted. I don’t think he will hurt anything around here other than himself, but I can straighten him out if needed.”

“Alright,” Rayna hung up the phone and logged onto WoW to find John in the middle of Dalaran yelling obscenities towards her and everyone wondering what in the was going on.

Nick: What in the world is going on Ray?”

Rayna: ugh! That is John pissed off because I told him off just a few minutes ago. He had the nerve to call up and say he was sorry for not calling blah blah blah and I told him off I was just so irritated and I had enough of his shit. It just wasn’t working out.

Nick: Damn and I missed the conversation? I wasn’t really expecting it to happen that quickly I guess so what now?

Rayna: I don’t know, but we should probably give everything a few days to settle down around here because now I have to go and sort out this mess that John caused in the middle of Dalaran and within the guild too, but I think shit just literally hit the fan.

Nick: Alight, but this is a good thing for us isn’t it?

Rayna: Yes, it’s a good sign for us

Nick: :) Well I have some stuff to do, but if you need me you know where to find me.

Rayna: Mk, see you soon! :)

 She saw him log off. Rayna continued to try and sort everything out between all the whispers from guild mates, friends and even random people wondering what in the world was going on. Rayna was starting to question herself all over again wondering if this was a good idea after all.

After the big break up with John things seem to be moving along with Rayna and Nick, but nothing official quite yet. Rayna has yet to open herself to Nick on a personal level there was so much about her but she kept a lot of it locked inside . She didn’t know or understand why, maybe she didn’t understand herself. She still hasn’t even shown her picture to Nick she was too afraid to maybe he would see it and then never talk to her again? She was defiantly not a super model of any kind Rayna had no confidence John took whatever confidence she did have and just flushed it down the toilet. Rayna used to be happy go lucky until John came around and that’s when everything went downhill from there. The cheating and lying it made Rayna feel like he didn’t like her or find her attractive why else would a man cheat? Rayna didn’t know how to overcome this problem of hers. She had lived with it for so long John has been the only man she has ever been with or ever paid attention to her for that matter. She never dated in high school she mostly stuck to herself and just had a few groups of friends. Rayna never fit in either her parents didn’t make a whole lot of money so she was stuck wearing whatever they could afford at the time her friends always had the new clothes, shoes, and backpacks and then there was Rayna the odd ball.

When Rayna met John her senior year she loved that someone was paying attention to her someone noticed her, someone liked her but as the years went by John changed in which changed Rayna too. John wouldn’t allow her to hang out with certain friends and wouldn’t allow certain kinds of music to be played around him, and he actually had felt threatened by her posters of Nick she used to have hanging on her walls before they were even together. He would always say why even bother being together if you have some fantasy man on the side, but that just wasn’t the case with Rayna. Nick wasn’t just some fantasy man she felt connected to him during her teen years they were alike in so many ways. They had the same personality but now Rayna was questioning herself and who she was, and was this teen somewhere inside her? Can she get this personality to resurface? A lot of her hopes and dreams where just shattered by this man that was supposed  to be her protector, her best friend and her lover and he stole everything she had left and threw it out the window it was now time to do things for her and her children. It was time to start thinking about someone else other than John it was time to be Rayna not someone who wants her to be something completely different. Rayna made up her mind she was going to go for it. What did she have to lose? Nothing there was absolutely nothing she had to lose either this would work out or it just wouldn’t and they would just go back to being friends like they were in the first place. Rayna turned on her Pandora and heard.

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

She never knew she had a choice

And that’s what happens

When the only voice she hears

Is telling her she can’t, you stupid boy

So what made you think

You could take a life

And just push it, push it around

I guess you built yourself up so high

You had to take her and break her down

            Rayna sang along with the song. Rayna felt connected with the song. As Rayna sang along it all started to make sense to her John did all of those things Rayna never had a voice of her own she never got to voice an opinion she was mute as far as John was concerned. Rayna heard her phone beep.

“Hey you what are you up to?

Rayna smiled it was Nick.

“Not much just sitting here thinking”

“About me? :)”

“Of course! I have been doing a lot of thinking lately actually”

“Is that so? Good thinking I hope”

“It’s always good thinking when it comes to you my dear.”

“So what have you been thinking about?”

“Me and you, the kids, and how incredibly awesome you are to them”

“But I haven’t even met you yet so how am I incredibly awesome?”

“Well for one you are just awesome to me and to the kids even though you are so far away you already pay more attention to the both of us more than John ever did and two I think I am ready to open up to you and show you everything if you are willing to still have me and the kids.”

Rayna sat and waited patiently for a text. A few minutes went by and there was still nothing from him, “Maybe he is just busy they are still recording the album. I need to learn to be more patient.” she thought and then her phone beeped.

“I am more than willing the question is are you ready to deal with all of this Backstreet stuff? After the album drops in October we will have a tour and then we have other things getting ready to be worked out.”

“Nick, I am just going to come out and say this I love you.”

Rayna sat there in silence again, “I can’t believe I just said that to him. I hope I didn’t scare him off. I can’t believe I did something so stupid ugh I am such an idiot.” Rayna didn’t know what to think she was worried everything was going to start just crashing right in front of her before it even starts, but maybe he feels the same way but just can’t come out and say it?

“Rayna…I love you too. I am sorry it took me so long to say it I wanted to tell you a million times but it never seemed like the right time to tell you. Everything feels right with you even though we have never met or seen each other face to face it all just seems right.”

Rayna felt like her heart was going to explode with all the pounding that was going on inside her chest. She didn’t know how to feel just quite yet but she was relieved that he felt the same way about her. Rayna decided to quickly snap a picture of herself and send it off to him it was now or never if she wanted to make this work she needed to do this no matter how insecure she was.

“You know you are one sexy lady. Why do you say such terrible things about yourself?”

“Lol you’re lying. I am terrible looking”

“Not to me you’re not”

Rayna smiled. She couldn’t help it but why did she still feel so insecure about it?  Nick already loved her for who she was even without seeing a picture of her. Rayna knew she would need to overcome these problems it certainly wasn’t going to be in the way.

“I’ll text you later the guys and I have a new song to get after. I’ll send you a clip when I can I think you will love it.”

“Kk, I’ll talk to you in a bit :)”

Rayna sighed she knew since this thing was official with Nick her life wasn’t going to be the same anymore there was going to be a lot of changing and adapting she was going to have to overcome. It was going to be quite a challenge for her not just for her but for the kids as well.

Song “Stupid Boy” sung by Keith Urban

The album was coming along very well the date was set to launch in October. The guys were in the recording studio getting ready to get at a track and AJ noticed that Nick wasn’t paying attention he was on his phone.

“Yo Nick get off the damn phone. We have a song to record,” AJ shouted from a booth.

“Don’t worry Aje he is just talking to his imaginary girlfriend.” Brian joked.

“She isn’t imaginary you know,” Nick shot back,” She is very much real and I don’t see why you guys don’t believe me”

“None of us have seen her. You keep her so secret it is like she doesn’t even exist.”

“Well maybe you should just ask and you shall receive because this is Rayna.” Nick pulled up the picture that she had sent him.

“Well shit you should have showed us earlier this was becoming a nice little inside joke between all of us” Brian said.

“I didn’t exactly think I would need any kind of proof.”

“Well now that we have finally established Rayna’s existence let’s see if we can get at least one song recorded today. We have a deadline and we are so close and plus I give Nick five seconds before he looks down at his phone again.” AJ said.

“Yeah, yeah I can’t help it so sue me for being happy.”

“Now, now children,” Brian chuckled.

The rest of the guys went into their designated booths and put their earphones on the music started to play.

Some say that love isn’t fair

But they don’t know you and me

And when they tell me, love doesn’t last that long

That’s when I look at you

And it’s alright, just let me lead you

 

It’s ok if you close your eyes

I’ll be standing by your side

I’m gonna love you the best that I can

You’re my heart and you’re my best friend

And I’ll promise till the end

That I’m gonna love you the best that I can

 

Time cannot tear us apart

We’re stronger than yesterday

Though we’ve traveled so far

You’re still close to me

Love changes everything

And know that it’s alright, just let me lead you

 

It’s ok if you close your eyes

I’ll be standing by your side

I’m gonna love you the best that I can

You’re my heart and you’re my best friend

And I’ll promise till the end

That I’m gonna love you the best that I can

 

Threw the peaks and the valley’s you’re not alone

When the worlds upside down

You know I’m there

And anytime I feel afraid

That’s when I look at you

It’s ok if you close your eyes

 

I’ll be standing by your side

I’m gonna love you the best that I can

You’re my heart and you’re my best friend

And I’ll promise till the end

That I’m gonna love you the best that I can

 

“I think this is one of the best songs yet guys,” Brian said.

“Agreed Rok, We still have a bunch of songs though it might not even make the album but we can hope, and now you may talk on your phone I can see that is just absolutely killing you that you can’t answer it.”

Nick just ignored everyone and did his own thing. Nick knew no one understood their relationship. This just wasn’t some puppy love or a crush anymore, this was the real deal now. He would see himself getting married to her and having kids of their own and being a good step father to Hunter and Olivia. Even just thinking about it doesn’t scare him it just puts a smile on his face. As Nick was looking at his phone he was approached by Brian.

“I just wanted to apologize for not believing you. You seemed kind of irritated.”

“No, I am not irritated I am just finally happy and everyone just thought this was some big joke, but it isn’t a joke this is real. It isn’t some puppy crush anymore this is real love, and I know you are thinking this won’t last but you’re wrong.”

“Hey I never said it wasn’t going to last. If this is real than its real you just have to be careful and make sure this isn’t some scam or something. I don’t believe that this is something real though. I don’t think I have ever seen you this happy or at least in a while anyway. You just have to make sure you are up for the challenge of two young kids and a very angry father who is probably going to try and push every button Rayna has and as well as you. So what I am saying is be prepared.”

“I am fully aware of the situation none of this scares me. I am content I have never been so content in my life. I can’t help but smile every time I think about the kids or about Rayna and I knew she feels the same way.” Brian patted Nick on the shoulder.

“Well I am glad, and don’t forget to tell me when the wedding is,” Brian laughed.” But you will have to let me meet her and approve first,” he smirked,” If you ever bring her out to LA or happen to be in my neck of the woods in Georgia we will all have to go out sometime.”

“Believe me you’ll be the first to know about anything bro I promise. I was thinking about going out to Seattle in a few days when we get a few days off it will be good to get to know each other a little better”

“I’d offer to go but I haven’t seen Leigh in a month and she would probably kill me if I went to Washington instead.”

“I don’t think I would want Leigh coming after me either,” Nick laughed,” it looks like AJ wants to get one more song done today before we quit for the day. I shall see you in a booth.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rayna heard her phone beep.

“Hey I am sorry I have been busy today in the studio but I have a surprise for you. I have a few days off this week and I was thinking of coming out to Seattle to visit you and the kids if you aren’t too busy that is and also check your email.”

Rayna’s mouth about hit the floor she couldn’t believe it. She then decided to check her email Nick had sent that song that he had promised a couple of weeks ago.

Sorry it took me so long to get this to you. It has been a crazy few weeks I hope you like it. I sent the chorus and then a little solo part of mine.  Talk to you soon. Love you!

-Nick

Rayna downloaded the clip onto her computer and opened up her media player.

 

I could be the one

Give you all my love

Forget what he has done to you

I’m here now

Open up to me love will set you free

If ever you believe

Then please believe in me

This is us, this is us, this is us

Let the world know baby

This is us

 

If I could show you

There’s no risk of being left alone

Would you let your past go?

I’ll take it slow

Cause there’s no rush

When I know

 

Rayna quickly texted Nick.

“This song is amazing! I cannot wait to see you in a few days xoxo”

Rayna was super excited to see Nick. What will they do while he was here? Rayna can’t remember a time when she was this excited about anything. They were finally going to meet it was finally happening.

"The Best That I Can" By Backstreet Boys

"This Is Us" By Backstreet Boys

It was going on ten o’clock and Nick was getting ready to land in Seattle and then he would grab his rental car and head on over to Rayna’s. Her parents agreed to let him stay there even though he could afford the hotel they insisted so they could get to know him better. As Nick was landing he snapped a picture and sent it off to Rayna. When he got into his rental car and started to head down the highway his heart was pounding so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He was nervous more nervous than he has ever been before, and even though he has been performing on stages since he was 13 this was different, this was the girl he wanted to spend forever with. He wished he had gotten an earlier flight so he could meet the kids he was just glad to be there in the first place.  He didn’t know when the next time he would be able to get out here was with the hectic recording going on. He didn’t even know if he was going to get the time off since they were so close to completing the album.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rayna was watching the clock she knew Nick’s plane was getting ready to land she wondered if he would be on time or if he would be late.  She decided to check on her phone and realized she had gotten a picture message from Nick about twenty minutes before her kids must have put her phone on silent without her knowing about it. She opened the message

“See you soon!” it was a picture of him landing in Seattle. Rayna became nervous. She has been waiting for this moment since 1997 when she heard “Quit Playing Games” for the first time. She felt like this was some dream that she would wake up from any moment. “He should be here soon” she said aloud just then a car pulled up into the driveway. Rayna walked over to the window and it was him, he was here. Her heart started pounding rapidly. After all the phone calls, skyping, and the text messages he was going to be in front of her full in the flesh. Rayna ran downstairs and walked out her front door and went over to his side of the car. Nick opened the door and stepped out and pulled Rayna in for a kiss. Rayna wanted someone just to pinch her. “Did this really just happen?” she thought. It was like no one else existed for a moment in time it was just them.

“I have waited so long to do that.” Rayna smiled. He pulled her in for a hug,” I’ve been waiting a long time to do that too” he chuckled.

“I am just glad you got here safe there are some crazy drivers in this neck of the woods”

“Psh, it cannot be any worse than LA”

“True, well lets go in my parents have been waiting to meet you.” Nick walked into her home and was greeted by her two dogs who were both carrying  tennis balls in their mouths wanting to play,” Go lay down you two we will play in the morning,” Rayna said, but that didn’t seem to bother them they wanted to play now. Nick gave them a pat on the head as Rayna led him into the family room where her parents were waiting. Nick held out his hand to give himself an introduction but was interrupted.

“No need to introduce yourself we have heard and seen your posters since she was 13”

“Dad!” Rayna exclaimed.

“What? It’s the truth I already know who he is. By the way I am Kurt.” He shook Nick’s hand.

“And I am Debbie it’s nice to finally meet you. Not only does she talk about you all the time but it’s the only music we hear in the house”

“What is this? Embarrass Rayna day or something?” Nick laughed.

“You know I get the same thing from the guys. They get after me when I am on my phone too long or something. I got in trouble the other day as a matter in fact.” Everyone laughed.

“Well I think your mother and I are going to head to bed. You two should probably do the same thing I am sure Nick is exhausted from the long flight. See you in the morning.” Rayna and Nick headed upstairs.

“You know you are adorable when you get all embarrassed” Rayna blushed.

“Your funny” Rayna started to get their bed ready,” I am sorry about this bed Nick it’s all I have I am sure you are used to something better” she said putting some clean sheets on the mattresses that were stacked up on the floor.

“It’s ok. All that matters is that I am here with you I could care less where we sleep,” Nick pulled Rayna in for another kiss when Olivia woke up.  She looked at Nick for a second and bought him her blanket.

“Daddy?” Rayna’s mouth about hit the floor it was hanging down so low. She couldn’t believe that just happened. They had never discussed anything about Nick becoming a “daddy” maybe Olivia knew something that that Rayna didn’t. Rayna watched Nick scoop up little Olivia and sat down in a nearby chair.

“Yes, I am here baby girl. It’s time to go back to sleep now” Rayna smiled,” What?”

“Nothing, you’re a natural at this, and I am amazed she just crawled right into your lap she has never done that to anyone before, not even John.”

“Maybe she is just comfortable”

“I’d say she likes you”

“Well I’d say she called me daddy”

“I didn’t see you object to her.”

“That’s because I am here for the long haul Rayna. I am not going to go anywhere. I will be by your side forever and for always” Rayna walked over to Nick and planted a kiss on his lips.

“I love you, and will you please tell me your secret on how in the world you got her to sleep”

“That is for me to know and maybe for you to find out” he smiled,” Here take a picture and send it off to Brian he will never believe this.” Nick handed her his phone and she quickly snapped a picture and sent it off to Brian,” Well we probably should be getting to bed I imagine they will be up early”

“That they will.” Nick slowly got up and put Olivia down in her bed and Rayna slipped into her pajamas and crawled into bed and Nick followed. Rayna curled up next to Nick. She knew this was real. Olivia was already comfortable with him this was the right decision she was making for her family. This was the beginning of one wild ride.

Nick woke up the next morning with Rayna peacefully sleeping. He couldn’t help but put a smile on his face. He was glad to be here with her he wished he didn’t have to leave so soon. He wished he could stay there with her forever. He wanted to ask her to move in with him so bad but he didn’t want to move too fast and scare her off he wanted to make sure they were both ready to make a move in commitment considering Hunter & Olivia and they would be quite a ways from family. Nick rolled over and looked at the time on his phone it was only 7am and even the kids were still sleeping. Nick was just about to roll back over and cuddle with Rayna when his phone rang it was his mother.

“Why in the hell is she calling me this early for?” Nick thought. Nick got up and got dressed,” I’ll be back in a few minutes love you,” he whispered in her ear and got up and went downstairs and walked out the door,” Hey mom what’s up? Its kinda early over here.”

“Yeah and its 10am in Florida, a little birdie told me you are visiting that girl from the internet this weekend.” Nick sighed Aaron must have snitched.
“Yes you would be correct was there a point to waking me up so early?”

“Well I just figured you could use the wakeup call after all I am sure her kids are up by now.”

“No, mom they are still sleeping please tell me the real reason why you are calling.”

“I just want you to be careful is all honey. I am just trying to look out for you.”

“Don’t even try and pull that shit mother. If you were really watching out for me you would have known all the shit that was going on behind my back. Need I remind you about Aaron and Paris? Or what about Kara when she was cheating right under my nose? You didn’t seem to be looking out for me then so why all the sudden are you wanting to “look” out for me now?” Nick questioned his mom. He was angry she always pulled this when she didn’t like who he was seeing.

“Because she has kids’ Nickolas”

“And your point? You think she is just after money or something? Well you have it wrong mom I don’t know what Aaron or whomever is feeding you this bullshit but she is an amazing person and I don’t give a shit about what your opinion is because you don’t even know her. You always do this every time I get into a serious relationship with someone. I am a big boy now I think I can take care of myself now especially when it comes to dating. What if we all fly down there to Florida the next time I have some time off from recording and touring and you can meet her and the kids. I think you will really like her she isn’t like Paris or Kara she is different you’ll see.” Nick was just tired of the drama with his mother it wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t do this on a regular basis it’s like she didn’t want him to be happy or something,” Mom you still there?”

“Yeah, sorry I am still here I will meet her but I am not going to guarantee you anything Nickolas.”

“Don’t start again mom. I love her and I love the kids you can just get over it. If all you are going to do is say negative things about her before you even meet her than you can just forget it all. I have to go.” Nick hung up the phone. His first real day with Rayna and the kids and his mother just had to practically get him into a bad mood right from the start. She just knew how to get under his skin she had always been good at that. He always wondered why no one would ever stick around his mother had never approved of anyone he has ever dated other than Kara and that was just a bad situation altogether. Nick walked back into the house and saw Rayna and the kids in the kitchen eating breakfast.

“Good morning dear how did you sleep?”

“Pretty good it would have been better if I didn’t have to get up when my phone rang. I was hoping to cuddle with you before the kids got up.”

“Who is calling this early in the morning?”

“My mother.” Rayna could tell Nick was annoyed.

“Oh? Everything ok?”

“It will be eventually but I don’t want to get into that stuff right now all I want to do is have some fun today. How about we go and do something today. I am sure you know a few places to go around here”

“Well it’s a nice day outside so we can go to the big zoo in Seattle there is also an aquarium and the science center out that way too. It all depends on what you want to go. But I do have question though how in the world are you going to go unrecognizable?”

“I brought a hat”

“A hat?”

“Yes, a hat I do it all the time” he said,” You aren’t buying it are you?” Rayna shook her head,” Well that’s all I’ve got unless you have a better idea in mind.”

“I can’t say that I have anything better. I have never dated a super star before but if you think a hat will work go for it skippy”

“I am sure it will work,” Nick smirked,” So how about the zoo?” Rayna nodded,’ it’s a plan then I love you” Nick leaned in and gave Rayna a kiss.

“I love you too. If you want to finish giving the kids’ breakfast I will go upstairs and get ready and get their clothes ready.” Nick nodded his head the kids’ were done with their breakfast just a few minutes later and he took them upstairs to get dressed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a tiring day at the zoo they went back home. Rayna’s parents were going to watch the kids so they could go out and see a movie. As Rayna was getting ready Nick’s phone rang. It was Brian.

“Hey bro what’s up?”

“What did you do today?”

“Went to the zoo in Seattle why?”

“Leighanne saw you all over TMZ tonight with Rayna and the kids apparently some fan recognized you.”

“You’re kidding me?”

“I wish I was dude. I thought you were going to lay low?”

“I was until my mother called me this morning feeding me her normal bullshit so I said fuck it I am going to go out and enjoy the day”

“I understand but dude her kids hell we didn’t even take Bay out in public until he was almost a year old. You just started this relationship everyone is curious now I suggest is talk to Rayna and tell her what happened because these are going to spread like wildfire if they haven’t already.” Nick heard the concern in his voice.

“I will talk to her I really didn’t think anyone would find out.”

“Dude your hat disguise never works you should know this by now,” Brian joked,” But I guess it was some fans that took the pictures with their phones or something Leighanne didn’t really give me any details other than she saw you, Rayna and the kids all over TMZ and she rambling on about it after I got out of the shower. Well I will let you go I will see you in a day or so”

“Alright see ya bro” Nick hung up the phone he didn’t know how to talk to Rayna about the photos but he knew he needed to before she found out herself.

“Who was on the phone?” Rayna asked as she walked in the room in a pair of capris pants and a white tank.

“Brian”

“Calling kinda late isn’t he?”

“Yeah apparently we were spotted today at the zoo by some fans and they sent everything they had into TMZ so the cat is out of the bag now I guess and now they are starting to ask questions and all of that fun jazz. I am sorry Ray I thought we could have a nice day without anyone knowing who I was for once I guess I just wanted to feel normal or something I don’t know but I certainly didn’t want to ruin the day.” Rayna walked over to kids and kissed him.

“You didn’t ruin the day we still had fun and who cares about the pictures. They probably would have seen us out in public at some point and I am perfectly prepared for all of this. I figured it came with the territory of dating a famous super star” Nick leaned in and kissed Rayna.

“You know I love you” he kissed her again

“And I love you too you still wanna go out?”

“How about we just stay in and watch a movie or something I would much rather cuddle up on the couch or the bed than in a movie theater anyway.”

“I think I like that idea.”

“You sure you aren’t afraid of this whole picture thing because if you are I completely understand”

“Nick I can honestly tell you it doesn’t bother me and I am not afraid of it I’d say bring it on. I love you and if they don’t like it they can kiss my ass we are happy and that is all that matters to me. Let me go tell my parents we decided to stay in for the night I will be back in a few” Nick was relived how could anyone be so calm? Hell the first time he saw himself all over a magazine he flipped and started paying closer attention to what he was doing out in public he just hoped she wouldn’t get sick of it one day and run off.

Nick was packing up his things into his suitcase he had to leave. He was sad he wanted to stay longer with Rayna and the kids, but the duty of the backstreet boys was calling. They only had just a few tracks left to record. The kids ran to Nick with pictures they were holding up to him even though they were just a bunch of scribbles it put a smile on his face.

“Awe thank you” Nick said giving each of the kids a hug. Nick turned to Rayna,” I really don’t want to go”

“None of us do hun, but you’ll be back soon enough in a month.” Rayna said.

“But that seems so far away”

“I know but you’ll be back before you know it. We will be here waiting your return.” Rayna smiled. Nick couldn’t stand the thought of having to leave he wanted to stay just the thought of it was making his heart want to break into a million pieces.

“Come with me Rayna.”

“What?”

“You heard me…come with me the kids and you come with me.”

“Nick I don’t know.”

“What is holding you back?” he questioned.

“Nothing is holding me back we can wait until after the album is done recording. I know you are going to be busy in the studio and I would hate to be a distraction to you. I want you to be able to focus instead of thinking of us being cooped up in your house for three days .We have survived the last few months we can do it again for a month.” Rayna saw the disappointment on his face,” Nick please don’t be sad I can tell by the look on your face. I want you to have your full attention on this album and don’t think it’s because I don’t love you, but I DO love you with all my heart but I think it would just be best if we wait until the album is done.” She gave Nick a kiss, he sighed.

“I know, I thought I would just throw it out there I knew you were going to say that, and I am sure the guys would be quite upset if I didn’t have my full attention but I hope you know you can’t run away every time we record a new album,” he chuckled,” You will always be on my mind no matter if there is an album or not you will have to come and visit me in LA though we can take the kids to Disneyland or something.” He said loading his suitcases into the car,” But I probably should get going I still have to return the car and get my bags checked in,” He pulled Rayna in for a tight hug and gave her a kiss good-bye and gave the kids another hug,” I’ll be back I promise kids I have some work to go and do take care of your mother for me.” He told the kids,” I love you all and I will see you soon.” Nick got into the car and started it up.

“Please call me or text me when you get home so I know you got home safe”

“I will I promise I love you”

“I love you too” Rayna gave him one more kiss good-bye. She watched as drive drove down her driveway and off he went. Rayna started to cry she was sad he had to leave she didn’t want him to go she felt so empty without him there even though he had only been gone just a few seconds. She saw the look on the kids’ faces and she even knew from that moment the kids loved him like a father whether they knew it or not she did she knew everything was going to be okay they weren’t going to have to worry anymore about anything. Nick was always going to be there for her and the kids.

“Come on kids lets go upstairs Nick will call in a couple of hours and you can talk to him then.” That seemed to lift their spirits up a little bit. She took their hands and they walked back into the house and upstairs. She put the kids down for their regular nap time and noticed a little black box on her computer desk. She sat down in her chair and opened the box there was a ring with a note attached.

‘I wanted to give you this in person but the coward that I am I couldn’t find the right words nor the right time to do it. This is my promise ring to you I know this is going to sound cheesy but I thought of these lyrics I promise you from the bottom of my heart, I will love you till death do us part, I promise you as a lover and a friend, I will love you like I never love again with everything I am. I told you cheesy but I am sure you have a smile on your face right now. I love you and I will see you soon.

-Nick

Nick was right there was a huge smile on her face as well with a tear rolling down her cheek she missed him already she slipped the ring on her finger and texted Nick.
“I found your little black box…I love you so much see you soon. Have a safe flight.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nick arrived at his home in LA just a few hours later. He missed Rayna and the kids he wished she had come with him to LA but understood why she didn’t. Nick sat down on his couch and felt just a whirlwind of emotions just come over him. He flipped through some of the photos that Rayna took on his phone of him and the kids and before he knew it he was crying. He just couldn’t help himself he had never been so sad before. He texted Rayna and let her know he was home safe and sound. He decided to take a nap before having to go into the studio that night. He was happy to be home and in his own bed but sad all at the same time he hoped the next couple of months would fly by.

A few months have passed and the album was finally completed and now came the tour rehearsals for their big tour. Rayna and the kids had come to visit just as she promised but her visit unfortunately was shortened due to her grandpa becoming ill. Nick wished he could have gone with her but due to the schedule it just wasn’t possible for him he wondered if he would ever get just a day to spend with them without having to schedule everything around a rehearsal time. Nick heard his phone go off Rayna was calling.

“Hey what’s up? Everything ok?”

“Yeah I just miss you and I wanted to hear your voice it’s been a rough day” He could tell something was wrong

“Ray, are you sure you are ok?”

“I got some papers in the mail today. John is going after custody of the kids he is trying to prove that I am an unfit mother because I keep going from state to state with the kids. He is claiming I ripped them from him ever seeing the kids. He is just threatened by you is all. I am sure most of this has to deal with because I have no job and I live with my parents. I am just scared I guess.” Rayna explained.

“He does know who you are dating right?”

“Of course whether he believes me I am unsure. I don’t even see why he is even bothering with this whole thing he will lose those kids have no fucking clue who he is I bet you if someone were to ask them who he was they wouldn’t even hesitate to point to you. John has never been there and even though you have only been here for a few short months they see you more of a father than they ever did of John,” he heard Rayna start to cry.

”Please don’t cry I am not there to hold you it hurts me to hear you cry.”

“I’m sorry to put this all on you Nick you have a tour and stuff to get ready for.”

“Hey listen to me we will fight this and get through it, it is just an obstacle and I am pretty sure I can solve all of our problems right this second.”

“And how is that?”

“Marry me”

“What?”

“Marry me…I have this big ole house all to myself and we could always sell it and move somewhere else it would solve everything. You wouldn’t be living with your parents anymore and you’d be in a different state.” Nick felt his heart just pounding he wasn’t sure what she would say would she say yes? Would she say no? this wasn’t the way he had planned to propose in any way he had a whole shebang planned out but this felt right this was the right time. He had never been so sure in his life.

“Yes” she responded.

“Yes to move in or yes to getting married?”

“Both,” Nick did himself a little happy dance on the phone she said yes,

” You have a huge tour coming up are you going to be able to plan a wedding on top of all of this too?”

“I am sure I can work around it and besides we can always go to Vegas” he laughed.

“Very funny and I don’t want you to sell the house I love that house”

“I love it too but I don’t find it quite kid friendly and it isn’t very big what if we have more kids”

“Kids?” she questioned

“Of course”

“So is this what you day dream about when I am not around?”

“Maybe”

“No wonder the guys get mad at you” she giggled.

“Haha very funny, how about next week I come out that way and I will come and get you and the kids. It’s the soonest I can come cause after that it could be a few more months, and that way everyone can adjust and what not.”

“Okay I can work with that but it doesn’t give me very much time to pack and Hunter’s birthday is next week too I could invite my family out to my parents’ house to say good-bye with a BBQ or something,” Rayna suggested. Nick sat there and thought about it for a second.

“Yeah I like that idea and when we get down here we will have a lets meet Rayna party!” Rayna laughed,” I can BBQ some burgers or something and that way everyone can meet you and the kids and everyone can become acquainted and I know everyone is just dying to meet you.” Rayna laughed again.

“I am sure they are well let me get off of here and I will tell my parents although I am pretty sure they already have somewhat of an idea anyway but I will call you later. I love you”

“Love you too give the kids big hugs for me”

“I will” Nick hung up the phone this was a huge step forward to the beginning of the rest of their lives. He decided to send out a massive text message to everyone letting them know of the party next week and this even included his family whether or not they showed up would be the question

‘Come to the let’s meet Rayna party! BBQ will be at my house on August 29 I hope to see y’all there-Nick’

Now that it was sent it was time to start preparing everything he felt like he had so much to do and practically so little time to do everything in and he couldn’t believe he asked her to marry him and she said yes. He was getting married he wanted to scream it from the roof tops but it would probably be best to keep it on the down low for now but he knew it would only be a matter of time before everyone and their brother knew. He knew this would be a huge adjustment not only for him but for Rayna and the kids too. Now it just became a waiting game until next week when everyone would finally be living under the same household.

The party was a huge hit with everyone coming out to meet Rayna and the kids which included Nick’s mother, but he has yet to hear back from her since then he hoped she had changed her mind about her. Nick walked into his bedroom getting ready to leave when he saw Rayna lying in bed he walked over to her side of the bed with a warm washcloth

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? You know they will understand.” Rayna shook her head.

“I am fine Nick. I have been sick a million times on my own.” She stated.

“But you aren’t alone anymore babe you have me now let me take care of you” he said wiping her forehead with a warm washcloth.

“I don’t want you to miss anything I will be fine I promise,” Rayna lied she knew what was wrong she just didn’t want to admit it to herself

“But..” he was quickly interrupted by Rayna.

“You will go I will be just fine. The kids can watch some movies and TV today and I will rest if anything happens or if I get worse you are the first person I will call” Nick sighed and brushed a few strands of hair out of her eyes.

“Fine, I won’t be long,” Nick grabbed his keys and gave the kids hugs,” I will be back in a bit I have to go to work be sure to take to mind your mother today she isn’t feeling well.”

“Ok daddy” he never got tired of hearing that word “daddy” it was almost like music to his ears someone was calling him daddy for a change he had been hearing “daddy” for years from Baylee to Brian he always hoped he would experience some day and now he has and he can’t help but smile. Nick walked out the door and locked it behind him and got into his car and headed down towards the dance studio. He was worried about Rayna though something just wasn’t right this wasn’t like her. He picked up his phone and called Leighanne who was out visiting Brian for the week.

“Hey Nick what’s up?”

“Can you do be a favor please?”

“Sure I guess”

“Can you go over to my house and check on Ray today sometime? She is sick and she practically kicked me out the door she didn’t want me to help her but I am just worried I guess. She just doesn’t seem like herself and then I just have this gut feeling the kids are going to do nothing but cause trouble for her” he explained.

“Sure Bay and I can stop by there and visit her awhile”

“Thank you so much Leigh I owe you”

“No worries Nick. I’ll talk at you later if anything happens he was relieved she had agreed.

“Alright thanks again Leigh.” Nick hung up the phone. He needed to clear his head before he got to the studio he needed to be focused today but it would be hard when all he is doing is worrying about Rayna and the kids. He felt he should have skipped today he knew the guys’ would have understood he thought maybe Rayna was hiding something from him but what would she hide from him? Nick pulled into the studio,” Just breathe there is nothing wrong everything is ok it’s just all in your head just get in here get done and get home,” he said aloud to himself as he opened the door and stepped out of the car and headed towards the studio locking his car behind him.


-----------------------
Meanwhile back at the house Rayna couldn’t keep anything down she felt like she was going to die between her in the bathroom every few minutes to the back and stomach ache it was almost unbearable for her even the kids were becoming concerned.

“Maybe Nick should have just stayed home maybe I should call him.” Just then Rayna heard the front door open.

“Rayna?” It was Leighanne Rayna was relieved she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Yeah I am back here Leigh but beware it’s not a pretty sight,” she warned her. Leighanne and Baylee walked in and there was Rayna lying in bed with a bunch of tissues surrounding her a bucket next to her bed in case of emergencies,” Told you it was bad.” She sniffled.

“Bay why don’t you go and take Hunter and Olivia into the play room,” Baylee took a hold of Hunter and Olivia’s hand and led them out of the room.” Nick called me he was worried I see why. Do you know what’s wrong?” Rayna looked at Leighanne and nodded her head,” What is it?” Rayna hesitated and pointed towards the bathroom Leighanne thought it was odd so she walked into the bathroom and saw what looked like a pregnancy test sitting on the corner of the sink. Leighanne popped her head from the bathroom,” Have you seen this yet?”

“No, too scared too but I have a feeling its positive.”

“Oh yes a big positive the lines are extremely dark.” Rayna sighed.

“I figured I just didn’t want to accept it.”

“I take it this is our little secret until you can tell Nick.” Rayna nodded,” When are you going to tell him?”

“Tonight maybe? I don’t know with the tour coming up and everything else I just wasn’t expecting this we are trying to plan a wedding and now a baby in the mix? I feel so overwhelmed.” Leighanne walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Well sometimes things just happen in mysterious ways I know he will be thrilled he can’t stop talking about Hunter and Olivia he has been amazing with them and to be honest we all we kind of hesitant at it because well its Nick,” she joked. Rayna smiled,” But I know he is happy with you and with the kids he would give up his life for you and for the kids. I have never seen him so worried about before,” Leighanne reassured her,” And as far as the tour goes you will be fine most of us wives gather in the same city or go on tour with them for a while we are always around to keep each other company.” Rayna started to feel less stressed it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Leighanne got up and gave her a hug,” You should get some rest I will stay here for a bit with the kids until Nick gets home.” Rayna smiled.

“Thanks Leigh.” Leighanne nodded her head and walked out of the room. Rayna laid there thinking about everything from what would Nick think to how would he feel would he be happy? Would he be sad? And how on earth would she deal with three kids under the age of five was she even ready for this? More importantly was Nick?

-----------------
A few hours had passed and Nick came home and saw Leighanne playing a game with the kids.

“Thanks again for coming over how is she?”

“I think she is still sleeping she has been for a couple hours now. Well I think you got it from here Nick if you need anything else don’t hesitate to call. Say goodbye to the kids Bay we will see them soon.” Leighanne gave Nick and the kids hugs.

“Bye guys see you soon” Baylee said waving to the kids.

“I will be right back guys.” He said to the kids as he walked back to their bedroom and sat next to Rayna. He leaned over her and gave her a kiss. Rayna slowly opened her eyes and saw Nick,” Hey there sleepy head. How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Ok I guess thank you for calling Leighanne today she was a big help. I was literally just getting ready to call you to come home when she walked through the door. I guess sometimes I do need a little help.” She said.

“I was just worried was all I hated seeing you so sick like that. Have you figured out what this is? Do I need to quarantine you until you get better?” he joked.

“Oh I know what’s wrong.” The smile that once was on his face now grew into a concerned face,” Don’t worry its nothing scary or bad I promise just go into the bathroom I think it’s still sitting in there on the sink.” Nick raised his eye brow and got up and walked into the bathroom and saw what looked like a test on the sink. A smile appeared on his face he walked back into the bedroom.

“This isn’t come dirty trick is it?”

“Nope not a dirty trick I promise this is a real test. I didn’t think it was possible myself to be honest until I took the test this morning after you left for rehearsals.”
“How did this happen?”

“I think you know how it happened,” she laughed,” But as for when did it happen? I’d say when I first moved down here and our first night together in the house and I am sure you remember that night quite well,’ Rayna smiled Nick gave her a quick wink.

“Oh I remember, so now what?”

“I guess call around for a doctor. Leighanne was going to look up some stuff for me I think but I was so worried about the tour coming up and you are going to be gone but I was reassured that someone would always be here and they usually congregate in the same city I think I was kind of dozing off, but I am pretty sure that’s what she said,” Nick leaned down and kissed Rayna.

“I love you”

“Love you too” Nick was excited he wanted to tell everyone in the world, but he knew doing that wouldn’t be the safest idea right now. He looked at Rayna and smiled knowing that growing inside of Rayna was something they made together he was ready for this. He was ready to experience everything the doctor visits, the name picking, the baby showers and even the staying up late for feedings. He had always wanted this he has waited so long for this moment and now it was happening.

“You need some rest now I will come and check on you in a bit. Love you” Rayna saw the excitement in Nick’s eyes and became excited herself but she was completely terrified at the same time. She couldn’t help but think was this the right time for a child? But then again was there ever a right time for a child? Sure they can complicate things but just as Leighanne said earlier sometimes mysterious things can happen and they usually happen for a reason.

It was the first doctor visit for Rayna since she found out she was expecting Nick was able to tag along he was able to get a rehearsal day moved he wanted to be there and luckily Leighanne agreed to watch the kids for them. When they arrived at the doctor’s office Rayna saw Nick pull out a hat.

“Seriously, a hat Nick? Remember the last time you tried to disguise yourself with a hat?” she joked.

“I wasn’t putting it on for that I..I just didn’t want the sun in my face” he said.

“Yeah ok,” she laughed,” You waited until we got here to put it on when it’s been sunny the entire time we have been driving from the house and not to mention I haven’t seen anyone following us so I think we are ok.” She stated. Nick kind of shrugged his shoulders and opened the door and got out. While walking up to the building he couldn’t believe he was at this point in his life he was having a child with the woman he loved and was getting married he never thought in a million years this would be happening to him he always thought he would be the only person in the world who wouldn’t ever get married.

“Can I help you?” the receptionist asked.

“Yes I am Rayna Johnson here for Dr. Bensen” Rayna responded the receptionist looked at her computer screen.

“Alright all checked in just have a seat and she’ll be with you soon.”

“Thank you.” Rayna and Nick sat in a couple of nearby chairs. Nick looked to his right and saw a bunch of pregnancy magazines Rayna saw Nick fumbling through them,” You know reading those will only make you paranoid,” Rayna smirked,” I did the same thing by reading those and I think my doctor must have thought I was crazy cause I asked like a million questions.” He seemed to shrug it off and continued flipping through the magazine and came across some pictures.

“Is this what the baby will look like in you?” Rayna nodded,” Freaky… and what about this?” he pointed to a picture of a woman with her legs up about ready to give birth,” Rayna again nodded. The look on his face was almost priceless he was lost for words he just sat there and stared at this picture for a few seconds.

“Well that is only of course if you can have the baby natural…in some circumstances there is always a C-section.”

“And those are?”

“Well distress for one either baby or the mother and then if a baby is breach and they cannot turn the baby before the woman is fully dilated and before you ask what breach means it means when the baby is coming feet first instead of head first, but you will learn so much along the way just sit back and enjoy the ride,” she said taking a hold of his hand.

“Rayna Johnson?” the nurse said Rayna and Nick stood up and walked through the door and into the back,” Please take off your shoes and step onto the scale,” the nurse weighed and got her height and then handed her a cup.

“Yay me I get to pee in a cup.” She said sarcastically,” I will meet you in the room.” The nurse took Nick to the room while Rayna into the bathroom. While waiting for Rayna Nick started looking at all the posters on the walls some had pictures and some had information that he didn’t really want to see or know right now. He started to wonder what he had gotten himself into. Rayna came back into the room and the nurse was right behind her and took her temperature and then her blood pressure.

“Dr. Bensen will be in, in just a minute,” she said shutting the door.

“You looked at the pictures didn’t you?”

“Nope”

“Liar,” she giggled,” You must be wondering what you have gotten yourself into. It can be scary but it is all worth it though,” then there was a knock at the door.

“Hello I am Dr. Bensen,” she said shaking their hangs,” So from what your hormone levels are saying right now it looks like you are about 12 weeks does this sound about correct?” she asked.

“Yeah”

“Well let me go and get my cart and we will see what we can see today. I don’t think we will be able to see the sex because it is a little too early but sometimes they surprise us, but I will defiantly print you off some pictures to take home,” she said.

“Alright I can’t wait.” Dr. Bensen walked out of the room and brought in her cart with the ultrasound machine.

“I was reading and it says you have two other children were there any complications with any of those pregnancies?”

“Nope everything was normal.”

“Alright lay back for me and let’s see if baby decides to cooperate with us “Dr. Bensen squirted the cold jelly onto her belly and took her little Doppler and there a picture showed on the screen,” There we go,” Rayna looked at Nick who had been quiet for quite some time and his face was just beaming with excitement, but he was defiantly nervous all at the same time,” Here we have the head, chest, legs, feet and all ten fingers and toes and it looks like there could be two in there.,” she explained moving the Doppler all around her belly and then she turned a little knob on the machine and put the Doppler back up towards the chest of the baby and there was a heartbeat it was like music to her ears once again Rayna looked over at Nick he was still starting at the screen lost for words he was unsure of what to say.” Yea I think it is safe to say there are two little ones in there” she said

“You ok Nick?” she asked.

“Yeah I am fine I just can’t believe that’s our children right there, there are two tiny little people growing in your belly.” Rayna smiled the doctor was measuring and then suddenly stopped.

“Everything ok?”

“Everything is fine I didn’t mean to alarm you or anything I just happened to notice the babies was in the right position if you guys want to know the sex.” Rayna looked at Nick and they both nodded,” Well I am almost 100% that they are girls but I cannot be certain as it is really too early to tell but we will know better at 20 weeks and get a better picture.” Inside Nick did a little happy dance but then also knew what came with having a girls-boys he didn’t even want to think of every way he would hurt a boy if he messed with one of his daughters hell he doesn’t even want to look forward to it when Olivia gets into her teenage years.,” Here are your pictures and I will see you in a month they will start to flutter soon so be looking out for that and start keeping track of when it happens”

“Will do. Thank you” Dr. Bensen walked out of the room and Rayna handed the pictures to Nick,” Now you can show them off to everyone tomorrow,” Rayna smiled. Nick was still in the state of shock that he was holding pictures of his child in his hands.” You sure you are ok?”

“Yes I am fine,” he reassured,” I just can’t believe it I guess it’s all surreal, and twins? And both girls? Boy she will never ever get to leave the house when they turn into teenagers they can just forget it I know what teenage boys are thinking these days and it will not be happening to any of my daughters. It all just now clicked in that we will have two teenage daughters ugh” Rayna laughed,” What?”

“You are so cute when you are ranting”

“Very funny how about we go home I am starving!”

“Good idea” Rayna couldn’t help but smile all the way home everything was going to work out maybe this baby was the right timing or was it?

Nick was packing his suitcase for the long tour he was about to embark on for the “This Is Us” album. He had to leave later this afternoon he didn’t want to leave Rayna and the kids she would be alone and pregnant he didn’t want to miss any doctor appointments and possibly the birth of their daughter if she decided to arrive early. He was so overwhelmed with emotion he sat down on the edge of the bed and tears just came rolling down his face.

“Nick?” Rayna called she was looking for him he quickly wiped away his tears.

“I’m in here” he called back. Rayna came walking in

“Everything alright? You have been back here for a while”

“Yeah just finishing up the packing I just wanted to make sure I had everything since I was going to be gone for a while. The last thing I want to do is to forget something, and I really don’t want to leave you I am just kind of depressed since I will be missing pretty much the entire pregnancy.”

“I know but I’ll be sending you pictures and we have Skype and you will have your lap top so we can still play World Of Warcraft together when we are bored out of our minds. It will be rough on everyone, yes but we will make it through this.” Rayna comforted him.

“Pictures don’t beat being here though i wish you guys could come.”

“You will be home in plenty time of the due date that is the most important thing is being there for the birth everything else is just a bonus.” Nick sighed he knew Rayna was right witnessing the birth of their child would be the most rewarding thing there was.

“Yea, I guess you are right but it still breaks my heart I won’t be here to feel her kick for the first time or see her on the screen at the doctor’s office”

“I know hun, but you will be home before you know it. I will let you get back to packing though I will make you some lunch before you leave.”

“Alright, I love you”

“Love you too.” He watched Rayna walk out of the room he put a couple of pictures of the kids his wallet and two more in his suitcase that they drew for him, as well as the ultrasound picture of their daughter. This pregnancy is no longer a secret though they had been spotted at a local Starbucks and it really wasn’t that hard to tell Rayna was expecting. They were hoping to keep it that way for a little while longer they enjoyed the peace from the media. They both knew it had only been a matter of time before the cat would be out of the bag eventually. After he had gotten done packing he walked into the kitchen and Rayna had made him a turkey bacon cheese melt with some tomato soup on the side.

“Bacon!” he exclaimed. Rayna laughed.

“Not the best meal or the healthiest but it will do,” she smiled,” I am sure you won’t be getting a whole lot of home cooked meals on the road.” As Nick chowed down on his sandwich his phone rang it was Brian.

“Yo what’s up?” he said with a mouth full of food.

“I just called and wanted to let you know they moved our flight until tomorrow morning some kind of a storm system or something was moving in our flight is scheduled for 10am.”

“Awesome!” Rayna had overheard the conversation and quickly wrote out a note and passed it along to Nick,” Hey Rok, Rayna wants to invite everyone over for dinner tonight for one last home cooked meal she is making chili personally I think that’s a big mistake with a bunch of men but what the hell her chili is awesome!”

“Alright, that sounds good I will tell the other two since you were the first person I called, what time?” Rayna held up her handing indicating five.

“She said five”

“Alright we shall see you then,” Nick hung up the phone.

“Girl you are one brave woman serving chili to a bunch of men,” he joked.

“Not my problem after 10am tomorrow,” she giggled. Nick smirked.

“Do we need to go to the store for anything?”

“Nope I got everything here I was planning on inviting the girls over later this week for chili but I figured why not have everyone over tonight,” she said getting everything out onto the counter.

“I am not sure how the passengers on the plane will appreciate the chili tomorrow,” he laughed while bringing his plate into the kitchen.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Everyone had arrived right on time and the chili was ready to go.

“Thank you for inviting us over Ray,” Brian said eating a big spoonful of chili.

“Oh you’re welcome we would have had tons of left overs and no one to eat them all,” she smiled.

“Well I have to say it is some of the best chili I have ever had who taught you how to make it?”

“Paula Deen,” she laughed,” But I just add my own flare to it I guess but that’s where I got the recipe from.”

“Well I am sure she would be mighty proud if she tasted this.” As everyone conversed around the dining table in the dining room there was a knock at the door. Rayna looked at Nick and they both were thinking the same thing who could it be? Everyone was here. Nick walked over to the door and opened it and there stood his mother with two suitcases.

“Mom what are you doing here? Why didn’t you call?”

“I heard you were going on tour and having a baby that I didn’t even know about”

“Yes, I leave tomorrow but you still didn’t answer my question on why you are here and why you didn’t call first” Rayna walked over to Nick and placed her hand on his arm.

“Why don’t we talk about this later Nick we have company over. Come in Jane I made some chili. Nick please take your mothers suitcases into the guest room” Rayna said. She could tell Nick was upset about his mother just showing up out of the blue no one was expecting her but why was she here? It’s like she knew Nick should have been gone by now she looked almost just as surprised as Nick was when he answered the door. As Jane got some chili and sat down with everyone else. Nick came back from the quest room and pulled Rayna aside.

“She can’t stay here Ray”

“Why not? Obviously she came to help me Nick.”

“Ray it’s a bad idea you have to understand you don’t know her like I do” he pleaded.

“Nick you are being ridiculous! Maybe this is our chance to get to know each other better” Nick just shook his head.

“And I am saying it’s a bad idea Ray please just freaking listen to me for once,”

“I think you are acting like a fucking two year old right now maybe if you gave her a damn chance instead of judging her right off the bat I don’t feel like fighting right now I would rather spend the time with you and everyone out there right now since you have to leave in the morning.” Rayna stormed off. He knew having his mother hear was nothing but bad news was he the only one that saw this? The more he thought about her being here while he was gone the more he could feel his blood start to boil he walked back into the living room and everyone was getting ready to go.” Ugh this whole fucking night is just ruined.” He thought to himself.

“Hey Nick I am sorry we are cutting this so short but we have to get going we will see you in the morning and thanks for the chili we will need to come back and do this again when we get off the tour,” Nick just got even more aggravated.

“Alright, I guess I will see you guys in the morning.” He said giving everyone a hug.

“Thank you guys for coming.” Rayna said smiling as everyone left there in the corner was Nick just stewing over the recent events.

“You know this is your fault right” he angrily said towards his mother.

“Nick. Don’t start” Rayna begged.

“Ray stay out of this” he raised his voice.

“No! You stop this right now give her a fucking chance to explain herself here you go acting like a child again.” Rayna raised her voice back.

“Fine! Please so kindly explain as to why you are here and don’t give me any bullshit because clearly I am not in the fucking mood to deal with it.”

“I came to help out since I had to find out from a television show that you are having a baby and now you are touring overseas. I didn’t call because I knew this is the reaction would get from you. I know I should have called and I am sorry I didn’t “Nick didn’t believe her.

“Whatever mom you haven’t spoken to me in almost three months and now you just expect me to let you stay here in my house and help Rayna with her doctor appointments and the kids you are out of your fucking mind mother! And I didn’t tell you about the baby because we wanted to keep it a secret for a little while longer and enjoy the moments we had together but we were spotted the only reason why everyone knows right now, but I don’t want you staying here it’s the end of this discussion. I will put the kids to bed tonight.” Nick picked up Olivia and took Hunter by the hand and took them upstairs.

“Good night guys I love you see you in the morning before I go to the airport.”

“Night, night daddy.” Nick was furious with Rayna for sticking up for his mom how dare she do that? She doesn’t even know her and know what she is truly capable of. Rayna maybe on her good side for now but eventually she will show her true colors she can only be nice for so long.

Nick boarded the plane that morning without saying good-bye to Rayna or his mother. He couldn’t get over the events from the night before. He knew what was going to happen eventually whether anyone wanted to believe him or not. He felt bad for not saying good-bye though he wasn’t even going to be able to get back home until almost December just in time for Christmas. Howie saw Nick just staring at his phone.

“Just call her I am sure there was an argument of some kind last night after we left it is written all over your face just apologize and get it over with”

“D, it isn’t that easy you know. I yelled at her we have never gotten into any kind of an argument before until my mother showed up.”

“You were just angry with your mom it will all blow over just let her know how you feel you still have a lot to learn about these kinds of things Nicky. Just take my advice and just call her or text her instead of sitting here for the next fifteen hours staring at your phone wondering who is going to call who first.” Howie was right there wasn’t any use and being angry at Rayna she didn’t do anything,” So why did she come out to visit anyway?” he asked.

“She wanted to help Rayna with doctor appointments and the kids I guess.”

“What’s so bad about that?”

“She hates her D that’s the problem she really hate her. She told me a while back that she would never approve of her because it was silly to fall in love online and she has two kids. She thinks Rayna is just out for my money or something I don’t know it doesn’t make any sense to me. If she would just get to know Rayna the real Rayna instead what everyone else has told her she would like her.”

“Is there any kind of a possibility she is changing her tune since this baby is your baby?”

“Doubt it. I just have a very bad feeling about all of this. I tried to tell her but she didn’t listen. She just kept calling me a child and to give her another chance ,” Nick shifted in his seat to get more comfortable,” I hate to tell her I told her so when shit really hits the fan because it will its only a matter of time before my mother shows her real colors”

“I wouldn’t say you are being a child you are just acting cold towards the whole situation but then again there are a ton of issues with your mom, but honestly Nick I wouldn’t read too much into it just focus on what’s going on right now. I am sure it will all work out in time” Nick just ignored him and put his headphones on. Why does everyone keep thinking he is the bad guy? Does no one truly understand what she has done to him? History will always repeat itself with her it always has and it certainly always will.

……………………

Back at the Carter household Rayna woke up alone and it was almost 10am. She felt a little heartbroken that he had left without saying good-bye. Was he still mad? Or was he running late this morning and didn’t have time? She didn’t know. When she saw that it was 10am she got up and went downstairs and saw Jane playing with the kids,” I knew Nick was wrong about her,” she thought,” she is playing so well with them why does he keep saying she is so bad?”

“Good morning Jane did you sleep well?” she asked.

“Fair I guess these kids never sleep do they?”

“I guess it depends. Did they wake you?”

“Yes they did I didn’t see you get up so I figured since I obviously wasn’t going to be getting to go back to sleep I would just get up” Rayna was quite taken back by her attitude.

“I’m sorry” she apologized,” Come on kids let’s give Jane some time alone and for the record all you had to do was come and wake me up and I would have gotten up.” Rayna shot back. Rayna took both of the kids to the play room,” Maybe Nick was right? She said she didn’t get a good night’s sleep maybe she is just cranky and not a morning person?” she thought as she watched the kids play when Jane came into the room.

“I’m sorry. I was out of line to speak to you like that. Its been a long time since I have been up at five am.”

“It’s alright I understand. I appreciate you letting me sleep in, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to do everything with the kids I can handle them most of the time sometimes I just need a break every once in a while.”

“Well you need plenty of rest because once this baby is born you’ll practically be on your own since all Nick does is tour”

“We will be fine I am sure. I don’t get why you think I will be alone its no worse than people who are in the trucking business they are gone for months or can be anyway and its almost the same thing with Nick except he is touring the country,” Rayna felt herself starting to become angry.

“Nick has a lot of growing up to do and I don’t understand why he chose someone with two kids to settle down with.” Rayna’s feelings were suddenly hurt.

“We fell in love I wasn’t some prize he just picked out of a prize machine. We fell in love over months at a time. So what if I had two kids from a previous relationship he has been more of a father to them than their biological one. If you would just open up your eyes and see that. The kids and I are going to go to the park for a while. Come on kids lets go and get your coats.” Rayna scooped up the kids in her arms and toted them downstairs and put their coats on and out the door they went to the park. Rayna was starting to understand why Nick was so upset with her. She doesn’t even like her she hates her she hates the fact she has two children and even though she was pregnant with Nick’s child she didn’t seem to care it didn’t even faze her. While watching the kids Rayna received an email from Nick.

I would have just texted you but this is long. I am sorry for yelling at you last night. I am also sorry for not saying good-bye I feel so bad about it especially since I won’t be around for the next month or so I won’t get to wake up to you lying next to me. I am truly sorry about it. My mother can make me go kinda crazy sometimes I hope you can forgive me. I will see you real soon I love you.

Rayna texted Nick

“And I am sorry too. I love you talk to you soon.”

Rayna wasn’t planning on telling Nick about this little incident today. It will all just blow over soon enough-she hoped!

Rayna woke up to crashing dishes in the kitchen. It was only seven am and the kids were still sleeping and Rayna didn’t get a whole lot of sleep due to the little terror inside of her that decided to be a night owl and not to mention Olivia was up all night with a cough. Rayna walked downstairs into the kitchen and saw Jane putting dishes into the sink.

“What in the world are you doing?” Rayna asked.

“Cleaning I went to get a cup and there was still stuff in them.”

“That’s impossible I did them all last night before I went to bed”

“Well there was I don’t see why you just don’t have a maid or something or at least get yourself a dishwasher maybe the dishes would actually get cleaned.” Rayna grumbled.

“I can do all of this myself I don’t need to spend a bunch of money on stupid stuff…yes a dishwasher would be nice and yes we can afford one but I don’t mind doing it by hand and as for a maid I would rather clean myself cause I am perfectly capable of cleaning my own house.” Rayna shot back. She needed to calm down before her blood pressure went through the roof.

“Its not just the dishes its everything…the floors, the laundry, and I don’t even want to get started on your room.” She said as she started to sweep the floor,” You do realize most of the dirt comes from the corners?”

“Yes I know this you try getting on your hands and a knee five months pregnant to get the corners one little spec of dirt isn’t going to kill us you know.” Rayna raised her voice.

“Listen number one don’t raise your voice at me and number two you will never be good enough. I have seen the way you have been cleaning for the past month and I just couldn’t take it any longer,” she raised her voice right back.

“This is my house and I should be able to keep it the way I want to. So it isn’t spotless sue me and if you don’t like it Jane there is the damn door don’t let it hit you on the way out”

“Correction this is Nick’s house you just live in it”

“This is both of ours we live in it together. Both of our names are on the deed to the house not just his. We sold the other one and moved so the kids could have a better life instead of being in the heart of Los Angeles, and I am not just some “guest” living here I am his fiancé and I don’t think any of us give a shit whether you approve or not because we love each other” Rayna didn’t understand why she was being so hostile towards her and all of this just over cause there was a stain in a cup? She was pregnant and her doctor ordered her to be on light duty which meant she needed to stay off her feet. It seemed like every other week she would fixate on something else and turn it into something bigger than it didn’t need to be. Everything was just starting to get out of hand,” Not to mention Jane you were there when the doctor ordered me to go onto light duty which means I can’t stay on my feet for long periods of time. I don’t get why you don’t see this.”

“I think you have a lot of life lessons to learn starting with raising your children. They are out of control all the time”

“They are only three and two Jane…what do you want me to do beat them?”

“Well no but a good spank will do every once in a while.”

“They do get spanked Jane just because I don’t leave a mark doesn’t mean it doesn’t get the point across. I am not perfect and nor will I ever be perfect”

“Sometimes that’s the only way to get your point across to them Rayna, and also I don’t hate you I just think he could have done better.” That was the final straw for Rayna.

“I am done Jane you need to leave I can’t take this anymore get out,” she demanded,” Go and pack your stuff and get out of the house” Rayna had enough why couldn’t Jane see that her and Nick were happy together why did she always have to be so hateful?

“If you make me leave I will tell Nick that the baby you are carrying isn’t his”

“Blackmail, really Jane? Nice try “Rayna was growing impatient with her.

“He will believe me you know. I am his mother”

“He won’t believe you he isn’t stupid. Please leave before I call the cops” Jane walked upstairs and grabbed her things. A few minutes later she was back downstairs

“This isn’t the end Rayna. I hope you know this”

“Don’t you threaten me get out!” Rayna shouted. She needed to calm down the stress was getting to her and picked up the phone and called the one person who could calm her down.

“Hey babe what’s up?”

“We gotta talk” she said.

“That is never a good line what’s wrong?”

“Well I kinda kicked your mother out” she said,” For the past month all she has done is bitched, moaned and groaned at me for the stupidest stuff. When she damn well knows I am on light duty for the remainder of this pregnancy. Don’t say I told you so either cause I know you are thinking it right now”

“Why didn’t you just tell me sooner?” he questioned.

“Because I thought I had it under control until this morning when she went all super bitch on me. She started throwing dishes into the sick cause they weren’t clean enough some of those dishes had stains but she mistook them for dirty ones then started complaining that we didn’t have a maid, or a dishwasher. The straw that took me over the edge was she said I wasn’t good enough for you and I never will be good enough for you and that you could do way better because I had two kids.” She started to cry.

“Please don’t cry I wish I could do something but I am so far away right now. She has been like this my entire life every girl that has ever walked through my door has been judged and ridiculed for stupid shit the only girl she never did that with was Kara and maybe that’s because they were so much alike in a way I guess, but to her no one will ever be good enough.”

“She was going to try and blackmail me too. She told me if I made her leave she was going to tell you that our daughter wasn’t yours.” Nick laughed.

“And she thought I would believe her? She is crazy! I wish I could stay on the phone longer but I can’t I have a sound check I have to get to and then a CD signing and well then the concert. I miss you and I will call you later ok?”

“Love you”

“Love you too” she hung up the phone Nick usually can calm her down but this was different she still felt the same. She started thinking about how she used to calm herself down when she was just having a bad day and then realized her playlist.

“Hey kids want to hear daddy sing?”

“Daddy sing! Daddy sing!” they chanted. She turned on her computer and put on “All I Have to Give”

I don’t know what he does to make you cry
But I’ll be there to make you smile
I don’t have a fancy car
To get to you
I’d walk a thousand miles

Every time she played this song it seemed like everything that she was feeling would just disappear.

“More Daddy! More Daddy!” the kids chanted again. Rayna smiled and put on “Safest Place To Hide”

You see colors no one else can see
And every breath you hear a symphony
You understand me like nobody can
I feel my soul unfoldin’ like a flower bloomin

“More! More!”

“How about we go to the park!” she quickly changed the subject.

“Park! Park!” they shouted. Rayna got the kids dressed in warm clothes and off to the park they went. Rayna could only imagine how Nick must be feeling about this mother more than likely angrier than when he had left for the tour

The tour was almost over now. Rayna’s last doctor appointment didn’t go as planned. She learned that the twins were trying to arrive early and she was put onto strict bed rest which meant Rayna needed help, and help wasn’t really available 24/7 Leighanne had Baylee, Leigh just had James about six months ago. So she had to suck it up and call the one person she didn’t want to deal with- Jane. Jane agreed and apologized for making such a huge stink just the month before. Nick didn’t like it either but what choice did they have other than to hire a nanny. Leighanne was coming over for the day so Rayna told Jane that she could have a day off from playing grandma and have a day to herself.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Eh I would rather be doing something else than sitting in this bed I am so bored!”

“I can only imagine have you tried doing something you have never done before?”

“Of course, but it doesn’t keep my interest for long. Plus I am so used to dealing with kids all the time I guess I just never picked up a hobby. I even tried playing WoW and that even got boring there is only so much I can do and I hate playing it without Nick so I gave up on that too”
“I wish I could keep you from your boredom what about kitting?” she suggested

“Yep didn’t go so well”

“Reading?”

“Yes, and I haven’t been able to find anything to keep my interested” Leighanne sat there and thought for a second.

“I know this is going to sound crazy but I think I just might have something to keep your interest.”

“Oh really?”

“I read it every once in a while myself when I am just plain bored. Nick found it a while back and told everyone about it. I am the only one that didn’t forget about it. I read it especially when Brian is gone for on tour or something”

“Well spill the beans woman what is it?”

“Fan fiction” Rayna smiled

“Oh yes the joys of fan fiction. I used to write it,” she chuckled,” I haven’t read any in a long time though I still have some sites saved onto my computer under favorites. I haven’t thought about that in a long time. “

“They can get kinda crazy but they always peak my interest. Well I think I am going to go and make the kids some lunch and then maybe go to the park if it doesn’t get too chilly outside. You need to get some rest though” Rayna sighed,” I know it’s hard just being stuck in a bed all day long but just think they will be here soon enough and you will be able to stay out of bed”

“That’s ten weeks away though! And I am so worried that they will just show up at any moment”

“Don’t worry yourself to death just try and stay calm”

“Nick keeps saying the same thing to me”

“Well you should listen to him. Well I will see you in a bit” Leighanne walked out of the room and shut the door behind her. Rayna laid in bed getting ready to drift off into sleep when all the sudden she was hit with a sharp pain.

“No this can’t be happening,” she said out loud,” Maybe it’s just Braxton hicks “she laid there for a few more minutes and then it happened again, but this one was stronger than the first. She knew she was going into labor,” Leighanne!” she yelled there was no answer so she decided to get up from the bed and call out from the door way, “Leigh…:” and as Rayna opened the door there was Leighanne

“What’s wrong?”

“Babies we need to go now”

“What?! It’s too early”

“I know the doctor told me though it could be anytime whether or not I had best rest that they would be ready to come when they wanted but if we don’t hurry up we might be having some babies on the side of the road, but I will explain more when we get to the hospital”

………..

At the hospital Leighanne was able to get a hold of Jane to come and get the kids while she stayed there with Rayna. They said her labor was progressing and that it was likely the babies would be arriving today and there wasn’t anything they could do from keep it happening. They gave her a shot to help the babies lungs develop but whether it would help or not they were uncertain. Rayna had tried to call Nick but there was no answer

“Have you tried calling Brian or any of the other guys?” she asked Leighanne

“Yes and no one is answering. I even tried to call Leigh too and nothing from her either. My guess is they are in an interview or something”

“Nick promised to always answer”

“We all know how that goes though,”

“I just wish he was here now”

“I know hun I am here I know I am not Nick but I am here to help you”

“I am so glad you are here I don’t know what I would do if I was alone and no one at the house”

“I would have panicked! I am glad I was there too” she said and then the phone rang, it was Nick Leighanne answered it

“What’s going on? Is everything ok?”

“Well hello to you too Nicky.” Leighanne said,” But she is in labor Nick and there isn’t anything they can do about it at this point. They will be born about 10 weeks early”

“Do they know why?”

“No it could be a number of things but as of right now everything is ok there is no distress or anything but here is Rayna” Leighanne handed her the phone

“I wish you were here” she said

“Me too I can’t believe I am going to miss the birth. I already had to miss the doctor appointments and everything else” he sadly said

“I know I am sad too”

“I am getting ready to hop onto a plane I will try and get there as soon as I can honey I promise”

“Don’t you have a show to do?”

“I said fuck it you are in labor and I am leaving the guys understood and so should the fans.” He said. Rayna’s doctor walked in to check on her and notice the heartbeats were becoming irregular with the twins

“I am sorry Ms. Johnson but we are going to need to take you in for an emergency C-section”

“Wait what?” Nick asked

“I have to go Nick I am sorry something is wrong I am going in for a C-section I love you and I will have Leighanne call as soon as the babies are born. I love you”

“I love you too I will be there as soon as I can” She knew Nick wouldn’t be there in time if only she hadn’t worried herself into pieces the babies would have stayed in there a little longer. She felt like this was all her fault. As the nurses quickly prepped Rayna for the OR she couldn’t help but wonder what was going on and why she was going in for an emergency C-section.

“Leighanne please stay with me I don’t want to be in there by myself” she pleaded Leighanne took a hold of her hand and nodded her head,” Thank you” They wheeled Rayna into the OR and Rayna was quickly numbed up. She was still looking for answers on to what could have caused this to happen.

“I had to make a quick decision for this C-section because the babies heartbeats were starting to become irregular and become faster and I didn’t want to take the chance of them going into distress because I am almost certain that’s what would have happened, but this won’t take very long Ms. Johnson” Rayna didn’t know what to think or what to feel she was excited but also worried all at the same time. Rayna felt the doctors tugging and pulling on her skin Rayna looked at Leighanne, Leighanne gave her a soft smile to try and comfort Rayna and then all the sudden she heard a cry. She felt relieved there was a cry. One of the nurses held up the baby and Leighanne quickly snapped a photo. Rayna watched the nurses clean up the first baby and weigh her Rayna looked back over at Leighanne and all she saw was sadness across her face.
“Leighanne what’s wrong?”

“I am not sure it looks like she wasn’t breathing they quickly took her out and put her over there on the other scale and they are attempting to get her to breath”

“Was the cord wrapped around her neck?”

“I didn’t see anything like that. I am not sure what’s wrong Ray but it isn’t looking good” Rayna started to cry she couldn’t imagine losing one of her children. Rayna heard another cry it was baby number two,” They got her breathing it looks like but they had to put a tube down her throat, but it looks like they are going to take them to the NICU where they both can be monitored” moments later the doctor came and sat down by Rayna’s head

“You had some bleeding but we were able to stop it, baby number one looks healthy she is breathing just fine her lungs and heart sound good but baby number two is having some problems. I am sure you heard the cry but she isn’t out of the woods yet she can’t seem to breathe on her own right now so we had to put a tube down her so she could breathe. Her lungs were severely under developed right now we are unsure if she will make it. So they will stay in the NICU until they are about 5lbs and then they can go home so for now I am going to wheel you up into recovery and then into your room and when are feeling up to it your friend here can take you down to see the babies” Rayna didn’t know what to say how do you deal with news that one of your children might not survive? Rayna looked at Leighanne who was in tears herself

“Go with the twins and please take pictures and send one to Nick he needs to see them and I will call and break the news to him” she softly said.,

“Can you also please call Jane for me?”

“Are you sure Ray?”

“Yes, I have to call Nick please just go with them they need someone there with them and if someone asks for their names baby number one is Madison and baby number two is Melissa” Leighanne nodded her head in agreement and walked out of the door heading towards the NICU with the twins.

……..

Rayna was finally in her room resting and decided to pick up the phone and call Nick.

“Is everything ok?” Rayna didn’t know how to tell him,” Ray? You are scaring me what’s wrong?”

“We have one healthy baby she was 2lbs 8oz and 15 inches long but I have some bad news,” Rayna started to cry,” Melissa, baby number two, has a rough road ahead her lungs were severely under developed and as of right now she cannot breathe on her own. She was only 1lb 5oz” she choked out. She could hear Nick start to cry on the other end of the phone,” They said sometimes these things just happen and there is no rhyme or reason to why they happen, they just do. I hope Leighanne took some good pictures and sent them to you I haven’t brought myself to go down there just yet I am waiting for you. I just hope she makes it, but I don’t know”

“Don’t say that she’ll make it she is a fighter we will all make it through this we will have two beautiful babies to raise”

“I wish that too Nick but my heart is telling me different. My heart is telling me that this is the end”

“Rayna stop thinking like that! For once please just think positive and be optimistic”

“I don’t want to fight about this Nick.”

“I will be landing in a few hours. I was going to be surprising you tonight we called the tour off a day early something about the government or some shit I can’t really remember what was going on but the point is I will be home soon and I will be able to see you, Hunter, Olivia, Madison and Melissa and everything will be fine”

“Alright I love you and will see you soon”

“Love you too” Rayna knew she was thinking the worse with Melissa but her heart was saying to let go, but maybe Nick was right and it would all work out, but why does she have this feeling? It doesn’t make any sense to her she knows something is wrong but everyone seems to be in complete denial over it but her Rayna decided that it would be best if she got some rest before Nick got there so they could go and see the twins together for the first time.

Nick drove as fast as he could to the hospital. He was sick to his stomach he didn’t know what to feel or how to cope with it all. His daughter was dying and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. When he arrived at the hospital he ran up seven flights of stairs he didn’t want to wait for the elevator nor wait for a million stops. He just wanted to be with Rayna and to see his daughters. When Nick got to Rayna’s room she wasn’t there,” She was supposed to be waiting for me” he thought he walked up to the nurses’ station.

“Hello my fiancé Rayna Johnson was in room 266 and she isn’t there”

“Yes sir she told me to tell you that she went to go and visit the twins the doctor came in and got her just a few minutes ago. The NICU is just up one more floor.” He could only imagine what was wrong now. He was starting to think Rayna was right about Melissa. He ran up one more flight of stairs to the NICU when he got there he saw Rayna and Leighanne in a private room.

“I’m sorry sir I cannot let you in there”

“I am Nick Carter their father”

“Oh I am sorry Mr. Carter Rayna has been waiting for you” the double doors opened and he walked through the doors.

“I am so sorry it took me so long to get here I went to your room and you weren’t there.” He said out of breath,” And Brian is on his way to the airport getting out of New York he should be back in LA later tonight sometime.” He said still trying to recover from all the running he had just done.

“I am sorry I didn’t wait for you Nick the doctor came in and said something was wrong with Melissa so I came up here as fast as I could”

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“He said her organs are starting to slowly shut down organ by organ”

“And there isn’t any medicine or anything they can give her?” Rayna shook her head.

“They have done all they can for her we just have to pray that her body will start responding, and there is one more thing. If by some miracle she does start responding she still has a long road ahead of her she has some kind of a chromosome anomaly and she would require a ton of attention and doctor visits and this anomaly is why her organs were so poorly developed.” Nick didn’t know how to handle the news he wished he knew he couldn’t make his daughter better but he sure wished he could. He felt like maybe he was being punished for something he did or maybe this was just some cruel joke but he knew this wasn’t the case. Nick walked over to Melissa’s bed and took one look at her with all the tubes that surrounded her tiny little body she looked just like her mother brown hair in all even though there wasn’t much of it you could still tell the color. Nick noticed that she had a birthmark on her ankle it almost looked like it was in the shape of an angel he had to take another look at it.

“I just wish there was something I could do did you notice this birthmark?”

“Yes I did and I wish there was something we could do too, but she is comfortable and isn’t in any pain, I promise. All I want to do is just cuddle her and tell her everything will be ok but we can’t hold the babies right now we can only touch them. They have to be about three and a half pounds before we can hold them and five pounds before they can come home with us” Rayna explained,” And then over here we have Madison who seems to be doing just fine. She is eating and going potty regularly so they have hopes that she will be coming home with us in the next month or so.” Nick walked over to Madison’s bed and saw that she too looked just like her mother they were identical twins,” Here is a gown and some gloves if you want to hold her hand she is starting to respond to touch” Nick took ahold of the gown and put it on along with the gloves. He put his hands through the little holes in the incubator and took ahold of her hand his emotions got the best of him and a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Hey there little girl I am so glad you finally made it into this world we cannot wait to take you home with your brother and your sisters.” He said

“It’s amazing isn’t it?” Rayna said.

“Yes it is, we created these two little people. This is all surreal to me is there any way I can touch Melissa or is she too sick to be touched?”

“Your fine” Nick walked back over to Melissa’s bed and once again reached his hand through the little holes and grabbed her hand.

“Hey there Melissa you need to be a fighter we all need you to pull through we all love you very much” Melissa slowly opened her eyes for a split second.” Did you see that? She opened her eyes at me.” Rayna smiled.

“I Saw it she must like her daddy”

“Of course she likes her daddy who doesn’t like me?” But as Nick was enjoying his moment of fatherhood it all came crashing down once Melissa’s machines started beeping the doctors and nurses’ came rushing in.

“What’s going on?” Nick asked in a panicked voice.

“It looks like everything is starting to shut down. We have done everything we can. I am sorry to inform you but without this machine right here Melissa will not be able to breathe on her own.” Rayna walked into Nick’s chest and just cried. This was the end for Melissa Rayna knew this was going to happen but maybe she was just in denial like everyone else and maybe if she had higher hopes and was more optimistic maybe the outcome would have been different?,” She is stabilized for now but you have to consider your options at this point in time. This is a very difficult decision you have to make so I will leave you two alone until you have made your decision. I wish I had better news”. Rayna cried harder. Rayna looked to her right and saw Leighanne in tears and then looked up at Nick who wasn’t crying but just had this sad look on his face maybe he didn’t want anyone to see him cry or maybe he just hasn’t come to terms with her dying? After the doctor walked out of the room Nick and Rayna walked over to Leighanne and went into a group hug.

“I feel like this is my fault” Rayna cried.

“Honey this is no one’s fault there wasn’t anything you did wrong.” Leighanne said trying to comfort Rayna.

“You heard the doctor there wasn’t much that could be done. She cannot stay on life support forever that wouldn’t be fair to her. We would never get to see her crawl, walk or say her first words she would always just be there lying in bed hooked up to machines.” Nick broke the hug and looked at Rayna,” Look at me Ray this is not your fault do you understand me? This is not something that could have been prevented this just happened. We have one beautiful daughter who still need us and two other children at home who need us too. I know this is difficult and it will take some time to get over but we are strong and we will make it through this Ray I promise you” Rayna felt so empty inside she had to pull the life support plug on such a small little child it was hard enough watching her breathe off a machine but having to watch her just slip away?

“I don’t know Nick I knew in my heart this was happening but now that reality is hitting me I don’t know if I can do this” she said sobbing,” How do you just pull the plug on a little baby?” Nick pulled Rayna in close and rubbed her back.

“Rayna this isn’t easy on anyone right now not me, not Leigh, not you or even the kids. I know you don’t want to hear this from me or anyone else but do you want to see Melissa just always lying there helpless?” Rayna shook her head.” Then this is the right thing to do Ray none of us want to do this Ray but this is the way it is and nothing will change.” Rayna knew Nick was right but she was in denial just yesterday she wanted to say good-bye and today she didn’t want to let her go. She wanted everything to be ok. Why did this have to happen to her family? Why did she feel like this was all her fault? Rayna walked over to Melissa’s bed and watched the machine breathe for her. The tubes that surrounded little baby made her heart ache all she wanted to do was to pick her up and hold her and tell her that she was going to get better.

“Mommy loves you Melissa you’ll be in a better place where your aunt can take care of you and where you can always look down on us” she sobbed once more,” We will miss you dearly” Rayna stepped away from the bed and Nick was the next to step up to the bed.

“I love you very much baby girl we will see each other again someday your sisters, brother and mommy and daddy will miss you very much” Nick started to cry he knew this would happen when it was time to say good-bye he never expected to have to say good-bye so soon. Nick walked over to a nurse to tell her to bring in the doctor they all knew this was the best option even though they hated it within minutes the doctor came walking in.

“Once I unplug this machine it will only be just a few minutes and she will be gone and then she will go down to the morgue in the basement until you can make funeral arrangements” the doctor slowly walked over to the machine and unplugged her breathing machine. Rayna couldn’t watch so she buried her face into Nick’s chest and just like that Melissa was gone. This was the most painful experience anyone had ever had to deal with,” There is a Chaplin available if anyone needs him I am sorry for your loss” Rayna, Nick, and Leighanne just hovered over Melissa’s bed and just cried.

“I wish this didn’t have to happen Nick I wish everything was different” Rayna cried.

“Me too but she is in a better place now”

“I know Nick I just didn’t think this would be happening this fast. I guess I will make arrangements tomorrow. This is just so hard for me.” Nick pulled Rayna in for another hug.

“I know it’s going to be hard on everyone and I know I sound like a broken record right now but we will make it through this we will never forget her she will always be in our hearts forever and for always.” Rayna knew this would take some time to deal with the loss of her child how will she do it without Nick by her side? He will be heading back out onto the road soon and she will be with no one but two kids and an infant. Maybe this would be harder than she thought maybe she isn’t ready for any of this after all.

Said good-bye turned around
And you were gone, gone, gone
Faded into the setting sun
Slipped away
But I won’t cry
‘Cause I know I’ll never be lonely
For you are the stars to me
You are the light I follow

Six limos pulled up to the cemetery the day has come to bury Melissa. Rayna and Nick never thought in a million years that they would have to bury one of their own children so soon. Her sister was going to get to come home in another week or so. Nick and Rayna decided to sell their house and move to a smaller city somewhere, where they could raise their kids without the life of the city they both wanted a change.

I will see you again
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me
Til I see you again

Everyone opened their doors at the same time all stepping out of the cars. Kevin and Kristen flew in from Kentucky the night before to be there for Nick and Rayna all of Nick’s family were there too including his brother and sisters everyone wanted to support them in this time of grieving. As everyone walked up to the burial site there was just an overwhelming look of sadness across everyone’s face no one was quite prepared to deal with this. When they walked up to the tent the chairs were already set surrounding the hole in the ground.

I can hear those echoes
In the wind at night
Calling me back in time
Back to you
In a place far way
Where the water meets the sky
The thought of it makes me smile
You are my tomorrow

Everyone took their seats the service was ready to begin Nick had asked Brian to help with the casket to put it onto the lift Brian agreed. He couldn’t imagine what Nick was going through but he imagined that Nick felt like there was a piece of him missing a void of sadness that no one would ever be able to explain. As they carried the casket of Melissa Brian looked around at everyone who was now sobbing including his wife. He couldn’t imagine himself going through this. How would he have felt if he lost Baylee this young? When they put the casket onto the lift he and Nick took their seats but as they were walking he noticed that Rayna wasn’t crying not even shedding a tear. He couldn’t help but wonder why.

I will see you again
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me
Til I see you again

As the priest said his words everyone was still in tears-except Rayna. She couldn’t even understand why she wasn’t she was burying her child. She knew she was sad but maybe she had cried to much over the last week she was all cried out? Her heart was filled with nothing but sadness and it was breaking but still there were no tears she even tried to cry by thinking of something sad but what could possibly be sadder than losing your own child?

Sometimes I feel my heart is breaking
But I stay strong
And I hold on ‘cause I know

Nick noticed that Rayna wasn’t crying like everyone else he grabbed her hand she squeezed it back reassuring him that she was ok but he wasn’t convinced. This is supposed to be a day of sadness and a day to grieve but she wasn’t grieving maybe all of this hasn’t hit her yet? Maybe she is still in denial that this has all happened? Maybe she still thinks Melissa is going to come back to life somehow?

I will see you again
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me
Till I see you again

It was time to bury Melissa into the ground. Everyone got up and proceeded to pick up a rose at the end of the isle. Fifteen rose’s total lay on Melissa’s casket. Nick nodded his head and they started to lower the casket into the ground once it was lowered the grounds men started covering the casket up with dirt Melissa was officially buried. Everyone turned around and started heading back to their limos but Rayna and Nick they stuck behind for a moment and placed two more rose’s on her headstone it read

Melissa Jane Carter
one too soon born
December 10, 2009 died December 11, 2009

Nick and Rayna were now heading back to their limo and now it was time for the healing process to really begin and to grieve and get back to their daily lives though it would be rough for a while they knew that they would make it through this.

,b>Said good-bye turned around
And you were gone, gone, gone

Song: "See You Again" by: Carrie Underwood off the album "Blown Away"

A lot has changed in the last month in the Carter household they finally moved out of their city home and settled into a smaller town on the outskirts of Los Angeles. They even managed to find some land about five acres or so which was hard for the state of California, but Rayna always wanted to raise her kids on a mini farm. Jane even moved herself into a small trailer on the property to help out with Rayna whenever she needed it. They decided to put their differences aside and try to get along with one another. Nick’s management company wanted him to start working on a new solo album even though the last one didn’t do so well they thought that since Nick was older and his voice has matured that it was time to put out another one but he only agreed to it as long as he had full control over the album. Their management team also decided to go ahead and cancel the rest of the “This Is Us” tour to give Nick sometime home with the family as well just as a small break before hitting the studio again.

Everyone seemed to be adjusting well to Madison being home the hardest thing they have had trouble with was the late night feedings Rayna decided to take that shift while Nick took the day shift dealing with Hunter and Olivia so Rayna could get some well-deserved sleep. Rayna had awoken from her nap and went downstairs to find everyone fast asleep on the couch Olivia on one side of Nick, Hunter on the other side and little Madison on his chest. Rayna grabbed Nick’s phone and snapped a quick picture which woke up Nick.

“I wasn’t sleeping I swear” Rayna giggled

“Yes you were”

“Was not” he protested.

“I beg to differ I have proof!” she said showing him the evidence. Nick looked at the photo

“Yea my eyes were just shut you can’t prove that I was actually sleeping,” he smiled,” Anyways did you have a good nap?” Rayna nodded,” There is some lunch in the kitchen and this also came for you today” he said handing her the envelope

“I could get used to this not cooking this” she said opening the letter

“Well I didn’t cook today mom told me I wasn’t allowed to do it today that she was taking over for today. “ Nick looked at Rayna who was intensely reading her letter,” Everything ok?”

“Just more bullshit from John he is officially seeking custody of Hunter and Olivia”

“Why this time?”

“Same reasons as last time and now apparently I am endangering my children because Melissa died”

“He has no clue what happened. I can’t believe he is even bringing this up. Melissa and Madison aren’t even his children I don’t understand the whole endangering part of this whole thing. He must be an idiot or something; does he think you are just going to give in?”

“He is just trying to hurt me for taking the kids away from him, but I don’t think he can even touch us I mean he hasn’t even attempted to bother with getting to know the kids or anything he abandoned them.” Nick grabbed the piece of paper from Rayna and looked it over.

“I will have my lawyer take a look at it this doesn’t seem fair to me why bring an innocent child into this situation when he doesn’t even know what truly happened”

“I know which is why I am calling bullshit why does someone or something always have to do fuck with me? Doesn’t anyone want us to be happy anymore?” Rayna was upset and she just couldn’t take it anymore. First she had to deal with the death of Melissa and now her idiot ex is trying to take Hunter and Olivia too when will this ever calm down?

“Ray you are reading why too into this”

“No I am not Nick! It’s like no one wants us to be happy” she snapped

“I do!”

“Why? All we have been through is hell we lost a child and now this jackass of an ex is trying to take Hunter and Olivia from us”

“Why? Because I love you and because we are meant to be together Ray life isn’t meant to be easy. John cannot touch us I can guarantee that he cannot prove anything” Rayna threw her hands in the air and started to walk towards the front door.

“I need some time to think I will be back in a little bit” and Rayna walked out the door Nick had never seen Rayna so upset before he didn’t understand what was going on with her. Jane came walking into the living room from the kitchen.

“What’s going on? I just saw Rayna walking out towards the field”

“I think she is just having an emotional breakdown. Her ex is trying to take full custody of Hunter and Olivia with saying we are endangering them because she caused Melissa’s death or some kind of bullshit like that and of course she didn’t cause her death because it had to deal with a missing chromosome he is just an idiot.” He explained,” She will be back though she just needs some time to cool down and think it all through. Things have been kind of crazy since Madison has come home and knowing I have to get back into the studio soon I don’t think it helping either” Jane looked at Nick.

“Nick I think Rayna needs a little more time than just a few hours to cool it off”

“She will be fine”

“Nick listen to me please she needs more time to cope with Melissa I don’t think she fully grieved her death I noticed she didn’t cry at her funeral and I am sure everyone else did too. I think she is depressed and I think she needs to go to a facility that will help her”

“No, I am not just going to send her away mom. She will be fine” Nick was in denial was his mom right? Was Rayna really this depressed and unhappy that he didn’t even notice? And if she was depressed why didn’t she come to him?

“Fine, don’t listen to me Nickolas but when she leaves next time and she doesn’t come back I will stand here and tell you I told you so” Jane walked back into the kitchen to continue to prepare for dinner. Nick moved the kids into their beds to finish out their nap and then he went and sat down on the front porch in the swing to wait for Rayna.

.........

Hours had passed and Rayna still wasn’t home he was beginning to worry. He tried to call her cell-nothing. He started thinking the worse until he saw her finally walking down the driveway. Nick walked off the porch and met her half way

“Why didn’t you answer your cell?”

“I didn’t take it with me I told you I was going out”

“You have been gone for four hours Ray”

“I lost track of time”

“Look I don’t want this to turn into some fight or anything so I will just come out and say it” he ran his fingers through his hair he couldn’t believe he was going to say this” I think we need some time away”

“What?”

“You have a lot on your mind Ray. You haven’t been focused and you are so unhappy I want you to be happy”

“So breaking up with me is the way for me to be happy? I don’t understand it is this like another one of your blonde moments or something?”

“No, I am talking about going to a facility to help you with your depression” he stated

“I am not depressed Nick, and sending me away isn’t going to solve anything was this your mother’s idea?” Nick nodded,” So now you are taking her side all the sudden?” Nick shook his head.

“I am not taking her side I have noticed it too and I am just really worried about you why can’t you see this?” he questioned.

“Because no one has ever cared about me before Nick; no one! It seems like every time I become happy and everything starts to go right it all gets fucked in the head”

“That’s life you can’t expect it to always be sunshine and rainbows as much as I think we all would like it to be it doesn’t always work that way.” Rayna gave Nick a hug and started to cry.

“I am so messed up Nick I don’t know what to do”

“Then let me help you. I can help you I want you to be happy again I love you and I don’t want to lose you” Rayna closed her eyes and sighed.

“Alright but are you still going to send me away?”

“I think a facility will be better for you I know you don’t want to go away but I think its best they can help you with your depression it will be better than having to deal with everything here at least there you can start getting help and then work on it when you get out. You have so much to worry about here”

“Fine, I am willing to do whatever it takes but please get John off my back he will never ever get custody of the kids”

“Already done Robert said the best thing to do was to get married since the kids have your last name they would just transfer I guess”

“You sure?” she questioned.

“Positive, that’s if you will still have me”

“Of course I love you. So what now? Do we just go elope in Vegas?” Nick laughed.

“Good idea! A shotgun wedding we could always do something bigger later” Nick suggested.

“Very true so a shotgun wedding it is!” Nick smiled Nick kissed Rayna he was glad that they had worked everything out but was Rayna going to hold up her end of the bargin?

Nick came home from a day of recording and didn’t see Rayna’s car in the driveway he thought it was odd. He parked the car and got out and then locked it behind him. He walked through the door and was greeted with screaming kids.

“Oh thank goodness you are home” Jane said walking into the living room and handing him Madison.

“Where is Rayna?” he asked.

“I don’t know Nick” she replied

“You don’t know? What did she do just get up and walk out the door?”

“Yes, its like she vanished I was in the kitchen looking for something to make for supper and all I heard was the door shut and her driving out of the driveway in her car. She has been fine all day.” Nick was worried about her Rayna had refused to get help for her depression even though she promised she would go through the process. She felt that she could deal with it on her own and with no one else’s help. The depression has only gotten worse after the court date with John and after they presented all the evidence on what happened with Melissa the judge still resided with John for 50/50 custody. The only good thing that has come out of this was he would need to pay for any plane tickets for them to come to him or he would have to move down to California and that wasn’t an option since he didn’t have any money. It still made her depressed none the less since he could come in any time and just take them whenever he wants.

“Did you try her phone?”

“All day and all it has done is rang and rang and rang but no answer”

“Call the cops?”

“They won’t do anything until she has been missing for twenty four hours.” Nick sighed he wondered where she could have gone he wondered why she would have just up and left like that this wasn’t like Rayna.

“Not much I can do then I guess I don’t know what to do”

“You have done all you can right now Nick. Tomorrow call the police and see what they can do” Nick sighed once more he remembered when he was at this stage of depression a few years back he did everything he could to numb the pain. The drugs and the drinking and not to mention getting the DUIs and almost overdosed at one point. He prayed Rayna wasn’t starting to go down this same path of destruction.

-------

Rayna was on the road and just kept driving she didn’t know where she was going but all she knew is she just wanted to go and escape for a while. She couldn’t handle it any longer and even though she had help twenty four seven she still felt like she was alone most of the time Nick hadn’t been home much and when he was home he was sleeping or doing something else. There had been days where she felt underappreciated for everything she does not only by Nick but some days by Jane too. She knew she was depressed and at times unhappy and she knew she had broken her promise to Nick but she wanted to try and work this out on her own first. She wanted to feel independent without the worries of children or a man she wanted “her” time. She saw her phone buzz again for the millionth time but she would always just silence it. She wanted to be alone she didn’t know when she would be going back this was her time to figure out who she really was and what she really wanted to do and who she really wanted to be. She also had to figure out what to do about John she didn’t want him to have any custody the children she was going to plan to appeal the courts somehow and someway. She didn’t want him in their lives in no shape or form especially after learning he fathered her best friend’s son.
The sun was starting to set now and Rayna pulled into a little motel and decided to camp there for the night maybe even for the week if she liked it. Rayna got out of the car and walked into the office.

“One room please”

“Cash or credit card?” the receptionist said as she snapped her bubble gum.

“Cash”

“35.38” Rayna handed her two twenty dollar bills.

“Just keep the change” Rayna smiled as she was handed her room key.

“4G is your room and check out is by noon”

“Thank you” Rayna parked her car and grabbed her bag from the back seat and walked up to her room she unlocked the door and walked in for a little motel room it was quite cozy and clean she almost expected it to be kind of dirty but you can never judge a book by its cover. She set her bag down over by the bed and decided to go to bed and get some much needed rest, rest she hasn’t had since Madison was born. After getting all settled into bed Rayna sat and thought about what she wanted to do tomorrow and where did she want to go and then it dawned on her-the beach! She hadn’t been to the beach in years and even though she lived by it there hardly was enough time in the day to travel 40 miles to the beach, but tomorrow was another day and for now all she wanted to do was get some sleep.

Rayna was now in Florence, Oregon where her grandparents used to take her as a child to the beach, and even though it was quite cold and chilly this time of year she still wanted to feel peace with the rushing waves across the sea. She found a nice little hotel along the beach and went ahead and rented it for the week. Rayna carried her bag up to the fourth floor and unlocked her door and walked in and set her bag down next to the door. She walked throughout the room she had never been in anything quite so fancy even when she was with her grandparents. She walked out onto the balcony and heard the rushing waves and the smell of the sea she was starting to feel bad that she abandoned Nick and the kids and wished Nick could be there with her. She decided to go ahead and text Nick and let him know that she was ok and that she would be back soon. She didn’t want him to worry.

-------------------

Nick heard his phone buzz and he prayed that it was Rayna.

“I am okay I won’t be gone long I promise tell the kids I love them. Love you”

Nick was relieved that she was ok but he wondered where she was. Nick set Madison in her playpen and walked down the hall into the playroom where Jane was keeping Hunter and Olivia occupied.

“I just got a text from Rayna I don’t know where she is but she is ok” he said.

“Can you trace the text?”

“I can do that?”

“Oh Nicky I am surprised you didn’t know that you can trace just about anything these days. Just take it down to the police station and they can find out what cell tower it was sent from and bam you have at least a city.”

“Do you mind watching them? Madison just ate so she should be napping now.”

“Go sweetie I got this if I need anything your sister Angel is in town today”

“Thanks mom” Nick gave Hunter and Olivia hugs and kisses and walked out the door. He drove quickly to the police station and he got out of the car and walked in.

“Hello I am hoping you can help me” he said walking up to the nearest desk.

“Sure what can I do for you?”

“Well you see my fiancé left yesterday and I have no idea where she is but this morning I got a text and I was hoping…”

“We could trace it for you?” Nick nodded and brought out his cell phone,” Normally I wouldn’t do this but I think I can make an exception” he smiled.” Wait here and I will see if Officer Owens is in today.” Nick sat and waited by the desk for a few moments and saw Officer Weltch come back to the desk,” Follow me” the officer led Nick to a small room,” This is officer Owens and he will be able to help you today”

“Thank you so much” Officer Weltch nodded and walked out the door.

“Here take a seat.” Officer Owens pulled out a chair for Nick and he sat down.” Now all I need is her number and we can ping the nearest cell tower it came from and it will only take just a few minutes” Nick gave the officer her number and like he said just within a few minutes he had a location,” Looks like she it was sent from Florence, Oregon” Nick was confused,” Not go to Oregon much I take it?”

“She hasn’t been there since she was a kid her grandparents used to take her there. I guess it makes sense the ocean always calmed me and helped me think through some tough times. Thank you so much officer Owens” Nick stood up from his chair and shook his hand.

“No problem” Nick walked out of the tiny room and proceeded to walk out of the station and now it was time to hunt Rayna down this wasn’t going to be easy but he was going to go and find her he just had too. He was afraid of losing her and he certainly didn’t want that.

Rayna sat on her balcony enjoying listening to the wave’s crash against the rocks by the hotel and the seagulls squawking above the water looking for their next meal. It was 10am Rayna enjoyed getting up at a later time and even though it was a cool morning she was enjoying the peace and quiet none the less, she missed everyone back home though she even considered cutting her trip short just to head back home, but she figured since she paid for the room she might as well enjoy it. Rayna heard a knock at the door.

“I wonder who that is. I don’t think I ordered any room service,” she said aloud walking back into her room. She walked to the door and looked through the peep hole and she couldn’t believe who was standing on the other end. She unlocked the door and opened it and there was Nick standing there thankful he had found her at last,” How did you find me?” she asked.

“After calling over a dozen hotels looking for Rayna Johnson I remembered what they used to call you in high school and then bingo I found you” Rayna sighed.

“ I didn’t exactly want to be found Nick which is why I used that name and I was meaning how did you even know I was here in Florence?”

“Easy, I traced your text”

“Figures”

“What? Do you not want me here? Are you not happy to see me? I was worried as hell about you Ray. Can I at least come in?” Rayna moved aside and let Nick into the room.

“Of course I miss you and I miss the kids but I came here to think all of my thoughts through. I didn’t even think about this place until last minute I was just going to say in California but I decided here would be the best and I knew you used to think along the ocean beaches and I thought what the hell”

“Why did you just leave? I don’t understand that part of everything. Mom just said you just got up and left it worried me and worried the kids have been asking for you nonstop and Madison doesn’t really like mom so she isn’t cooperating with her right now. It has been very difficult.” Rayna went and sat down in a nearby chair and looked at Nick.

“I was just tired Nick. I had a long night with Maddy and then when I woke up that morning your mother was on another one of her rampages about the house looking like a tornado went through it. Hunter and Olivia were on one that morning as soon as they got up so I just said fuck it all and left probably not the smartest thing to do but I was just so fed up with it all” she explained,” And the worst part of it all is that she doesn’t even care how she treats me. Everyday its something different and you haven’t been home enough to see it all. Once you come home you hide out in your office or you go to sleep” Nick went over to Rayna and took her hand and pulled her up from the chair she was sitting in.

“Come here,” he said pulling Rayna in for a hug, “I’m sorry,” he apologized,” You should have come to me I would have taken care of it running away doesn’t change anything,” he said,” And I know you still have been depressed about the whole court thing, but I promise we can try and work that out we can appeal it somehow I am not sure how but we will. When you ran off I was so worried about you I was worried you weren’t going to come back and I would have lost you forever” Nick started to choke up a bit,” I don’t want to lose you because me and you we are meant to be together and I believe it in my heart that we were meant to go through all of this bullshit along the way to be tested somehow. I wish I can explain it but I can’t” He pulled Rayna in for another hug and gently kissed her lips.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I wanted to call you a million times but I needed to think I needed to gather my thoughts before I just couldn’t take it anymore,” she said as tears started to form in her eyes,” You know I am not the best when it comes to talking its just something I have had trouble with my entire life I feel so bad I made you worry I just wanted to get away,” a tear rolled down Rayna’s cheek.

“Baby, please don’t cry I understand everything I have been down that path believe me. It was not pretty the only difference is you have me. I didn’t have anyone I was alone. Everyone was married well with the exception of AJ but he still had girlfriends and I feel like I wasn’t important anymore, and my family didn’t seem to care they weren’t around for me. I had to go through my darkest days alone even when I almost overdosed,” he hugged Rayna again,” Look I promise I will try and pay more attention at home to what is going on around me and I will try not to work so hard either. I know I haven’t been the greatest man for you and for the kids but I will try harder and we both need to communicate more,” Rayna looked at Nick, and Nick wiped away her tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

“I guess we both have a lot to work on,” Nick nodded his head in agreement.

“We still have kinks to work out but we will work them out together as a team. We have only been together for eight months but known each other for over a year no one is perfect,” Nick kissed her once more,” Why don’t we go and do something today we have no kids, its just the two of us and I took the rest of the week off”

“You did?”

“Yes I did mom said she would watch the kids for me and we can always go home though,” Rayna shook her head.

“No I think we should take this time alone before you knocked on the door I was going to go for a walk on the beach.”

“See we think alike already I was just going to say we should do that and even though it is not as warm as California at least you will have me to keep you warm.” He winked. Rayna smiled.

“Let me go and get dressed and we can go for a walk.”
Rayna was dressed just a few minutes later and out the door they went down to the beach. As they were walking down the beach Rayna noticed that there was just an arch in the middle of the beach.

“Awe how romantic someone is getting married” As they walked closer Rayna noticed a smile on Nick’s face,” What are you smiling about?”

“Nothing”

“Something is up when are you going to learn you are just a terrible liar,” she playfully hit Nick in the arm, but Nick wasn’t going to budge this was his surprise to Rayna. When they got to the arch Brian, AJ and Howie came walking out of the middle of nowhere,” Nick what in the world is going on?”

“I know we were just planning on getting married in Vegas but I didn’t want to wait anymore and since we already did all the paperwork for the courthouse I was able to get it transferred rather quickly to the state of Oregon. I just want to be your husband now and I know it may not be your dream wedding or anything but I just wanted this so bad and we can always do something else later” Rayna smiled at Nick.

“What would you have done if we hadn’t taken this walk?” Nick shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know” he laughed,” Probably would have drug you down here but my question is will you still have me even though I am a pain in the ass?”

“Of course this is perfect Nick. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Nick and Rayna walked up to AJ, Howie and Brian and exchanged hugs,” I am so glad to see you guys, but I do have a question where is the minister?”

“I got that covered,” Brian said as he got in front of Nick and Rayna. He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket,” I took one of those online minister class things and I know this little piece of paper may not be a bible but it will due for now,” he chuckled. A smile ran across Rayna’s face this whole thing was perfect it was the best surprise anyone could ever ask for,” I have never done this before so please forgive me “As Brian started the ceremony Rayna couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear she was excited to finally become Mrs. Carter she dreamt of this as a teenager but didn’t think in a million years it would ever actually happen.

“I do,” Rayna said. Brian looked at Nick and started talking. Nick smiled at Rayna he would have never thought that he would ever be in this position of getting married let alone meeting someone on World of Warcraft. It was the last place he would have thought to look for love. He knew Rayna was his soul mate and he was glad he was finally getting married to her.

“I do” Nick said with a beaming smile on his face.
“With the power invested in me though the lovely World Wide Web I can now officially announce you husband and wife and don’t forget to kiss her” Nick and Rayna shared a kiss. AJ. Howie and Brian all clapped and congratulated them.

“Thank you guys so much for being here I cannot thank you enough” Rayna said.

“Well you are welcome we are happy to have you in the backstreet family. I would say let’s all go out and celebrate but its only like 11am and I think we have a plan to catch back to LA so we shall let y’all go on your honeymoon” Brian said giving out last minute hugs AJ and Howie followed.

“Congrats Nick and Ray “Howie said giving each of them a hug.

“Thanks D,”

“We will see you in LA next week. Rochelle and I want to have to over for dinner,” AJ said giving Nick a big hug.

“Sounds like Rok may be doing another wedding soon,” Nick chuckled.

“Hey man you never know. We well don’t want to keep you any longer see you soon,” Rayna and Nick watched the guys pile into their last minute rental car and drive off down the road. Nick took a hold of Rayna’s hand

“What about the arch?” she asked.

“Eh don’t worry about it they will come and take it down later.”

Rayna nodded and they slowly walked back to their hotel room now as Mr. and Mrs. Carter

Rayna suddenly woke up from her deep sleep in pain she switched sides in hoping to relieve the pain, but it just wasn’t getting any better. She started to shake Nick and he opened his eyes.

“Everything ok?” he asked

“Call your mother we have to go now” Rayna replied.

“Do I need to call 911?”

“Only if you don’t call your mother” she snickered.

“Alright, alright I am calling her now” Rayna walked into the shower and hopped in for a quick shower hoping to calm the contractions down a bit. She heard Nick walk into the bathroom,” What in the world are you doing?”

“What does it look like I am doing? I am trying to get these damn contractions to slow down so we can get there in time. Is your mother here yet?”

“Yes,” Rayna quickly hopped out of the shower and threw on some pajamas and grabbed her bag and out the door they went. They really weren’t expecting another baby so quickly but they assumed their little honeymoon in June contributed to this little miracle thankfully Rayna’s entire pregnancy was smooth this time around. It was hard for Rayna to accept another pregnancy at first with what happened with Melissa in all but she prayed every day that this baby would be healthy. She knew she couldn’t take another heartbreak.

Rayna and Nick arrived at the hospital just moments later the nurse handed Rayna a gown to put on once she did that she hopped onto the bed and the nurses hooked up all the necessary machines and then she saw the on call doctor walk in.

“Hello Mrs. Carter I am Dr. Cooper. I see you were scheduled for a C-section next week, but I am pretty positive this baby has other plans,” he said.

“Other plans?”

“Yes, you are in full on labor Mrs. Carter”

“Is that even possible? I mean I had a C-section with my twins in 2009”

“Yes its possible it’s done all the time I will check you but I am almost positive he is already descending down into the birth canal but I will be back in a few minutes to get a better look.” He said as he walked out the door.

“Eager little bugger isn’t he?” Nick said as he pulled up a chair and sat next to Rayna.

“I guess so but why does everyone assume it’s a boy?”

“Cause that’s what he is silly” Rayna smiled at Nick.

“Pft you don’t know that unless you went behind my back but we all think it’s a girl”

“All girls want girls just like all boys want boys but we will see who wins after tonight,” Rayna gave Nick a glare

“You betted on our unborn child?”

“Not exactly there wasn’t any money involved I promise. The guys and I were talking one day and the subject came up and Brian and I said boy and AJ and Howie said girl so we want to prove them wrong,” Rayna just shook her head.

“Men” she said as she shook her head some more. Rayna could feel that her contractions were getting closer and more intense now one of the nurses notified Dr. Cooper and he came in and gave Rayna a quick check.

“Just as I suspected Mrs. Carter the baby is in the birth canal and is ready to make his or her appearance so I am going to count to three and I want you to push Dr. Cooper counted to three and Rayna pushed as hard as she could,” That was fantastic Mrs. Carter let’s wait for the next contraction and we will do it all over again,” Just minutes later another contraction hit and Dr. Cooper once more counted to three,” Mr. Carter if you could hold onto her other leg there it might help the process a little better,” Nick did as he was told to do and was now holding Rayna’s other leg in place. He was glad to be here for the birth of this child but he was also kind of scared all at the same time he had never witnessed a birth before.

“You are doing great Ray,” Nick said with a smile all Rayna could do was give him a slight smile trying to hide the pain that she was in.

“Almost there just one more big push and the baby will be here,” Rayna pushed as hard as she could and at last there was a cry.” Rayna looked over at Nick who had tears of joy rolling down his face.” I now introduce you to your little baby boy,” Dr. Cooper put the little bundle of joy onto Rayna’s belly,” Would you like to cut the cord Mr. Carter?” Nick nodded his head and cut the cord while Rayna got all cleaned up the nurses took the newest edition to the Carter clan to get weighed,” Congratulation’s guys I have another patient who is about to give birth the nurses are going to take it from here. I will come back in and check on you once you have gotten settled into your new room.” Dr. Cooper shook Nick’s hand and walked out the door.

“Does he have a name?” one of the nurses asked.

“Darren Gene Carter” Rayna replied.

“Well we will take little Darren here to get a nice bath and get all snuggled in and a nurse is going to come in and wheel you off to your suite” Rayna kissed Darren on the forehead and the nurse carried him out of the room.

“Go ahead and say it” Rayna said looking at Nick.

“Say what?”

“You know you want to gloat about it so do it”

“I am not going to gloat but I will say I knew it” he smirked,” I am going to go and text everyone and make an official statement cause I am sure everyone is just dying to know right now. I will see you back in your room. I love you” he said giving her a quick kiss.

“Alright, I love you too” Nick walked out of the room and down the hall to the nursery he looked through the window at all the other babies looking for Darren but then he saw the nurse with him wrapping him up like a taco. Nick peaked his head in.

“I am sorry to bother you but would it be a problem to get a picture?”

“Sure” the nurse finished wrapping him up and then put a blue knitted hat onto his tiny little head. Nick snapped a quick picture

“Thank you so much!” he smiled.

“No problem Mr. Carter” the nurse smiled back. Nick walked out the door and sat down on a nearby bench. He brought up the picture of Darren and decided to send out a mass text to everyone.

Meet Mr. Darren Gene Carter born on May 19 at 4:45am weight in at 8lbs 5oz and 20 inches long Rayna is doing awesome can’t wait for everyone to meet him tomorrow…and sorry for this being so early in the morning!

Nick pushed the send button. He was excited for everyone to meet him. He was almost a spinning image of him he was full of excitement to go onto this journey once more with Rayna, but he knew their hands were going to be full; Madison was starting to run all over the place and getting into trouble and Hunter is going to be starting pre-school in the fall and his new album in a few months and then a tour ahead. It was going to be one crazy year for them but after what they went through last year he knew that they were going to be able to get through anything that came their way this year.

Rayna and Nick arrived at home with Darren in tote when they pulled up there were welcome home signs and big blue balloons galore. Rayna looked at Darren and smiled and then looked at Nick who also had a big ole smile on his face. Nick stopped the car in the driveway and the doors unlocked Nick stepped out shut the door behind him and then opened the door for Rayna. She unhooked Darren from his car seat base and walked up to the front door. Nick opened the door for her and when they walked in it was silent.

“Daddy!” Madison screamed running in from the kitchen.

“Pumpkin!” Nick exclaimed as he scooped her up into a hug.

“Uncle Bri!” she pointed towards the back door.

“Well then I guess maybe we should go and sneak back there.” Madison led Nick through the kitchen and he saw his mom started to get the burgers all prepare,” Hey mom,”

“Oh Nick I didn’t hear you come in. I wasn’t expecting you guys for another hour or so. I was just getting these burgers ready for Brian to start grilling,”

“Well we were a little eager to come home I am surprised you didn’t hear Maddy screaming for joy in the living room.”

“She has been doing it off and on all day long with everyone here I just assumed that someone was out there with her I guess. Well everyone is in the back. Be a dear and take these out to Brian please.” She said handing him a plate full of uncooked meat. Nick and Rayna walked out onto the back porch with Darren. Nick walked over and handed the plate to Brian.

“Oh my goodness isn’t he just the cutest little thing I have ever seen” Leighanne said getting up from his seat.

“Nick you are going to have your hands full when he gets older,” AJ said Rayna giggled.

“Yeah its going to be one crazy ride I am sure”

“I agree,” Nick chimed in,” But I think we are up for the challenge” Nick smiled at Rayna.

“I know I am” Nick just kind of stood there from the distance just looking at everyone around him he was just looking in amazement at everything he has had to go through this last year. He was lucky to have everyone in his life. Backstreet was better than ever right now he had a wife who loved him to pieces and he had four beautiful children who thought the world of him he couldn’t ask for anything better; now let the real journey begin.