Let It Be Me by Mariah
Summary:

LIBM



After 2 years, Amelia thought she had everything set in her life. Then he came along and reminded her of the person she hid inside all her life.

Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: AJ, Brian, Howie, Nick, Other
Genres: Angst, Drama, Humor, Romance
Warnings: Sexual Content
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Completed: No Word count: 50478 Read: 16126 Published: 01/30/14 Updated: 12/16/19
Chapter 2 by Mariah

Nick Carter? Who would have thought?

This surprised Amelia. She hadn't even known the guy since she came here and already he was being a dick. Maybe they were making out a tad too long in the kitchen, but did he really have to draw attention to it?

Will just laughed and dragged Amelia out of the kitchen, but not without her giving a stern look to the tall blond who fucked up her romantic moment. She had a feeling he was always this immature. Even with the overdone she-man he arrived with, he wouldn't know a relationship if it bit him in the ass. Men like him are chasers. It reminded her so much of how JC was. Addicting personalities that will never feel anything but lust. The fact that he couldn't see it with her and Will, proves her point. She can put money on him never doing a nice thing for someone else unless he got something out of it.

When they called her name, she was so nervous. Her mother hadn't come yet and her dad will probably be so late one of the casting agents will feel sorry and drive her back.

"Hey, wait a second. Here you go." The boy gave Amelia back her bear and smiled.

"Thanks."

"Hold on." He said before she could get up.

She held onto her bear so tightly she could feel her face pressing against the soft cotton of the fabric.

She watched him pull something out of his pocket shorts. It looked like some type little silver chain dolphin necklace.

"I carry this everywhere I go. When I first came here, it brought me luck. I want you to have it now. You need it." He held out the necklace to her.

She didn't really understand why he was doing this but she found herself taking the necklace, then looking at him. For the first time she saw his eyes. He looked just like the princes she saw in Disney movies. She looked back at the necklace, examining it.

"Thanks. I hope my mommy comes back. You're nicer than my daddy is." She gave a small smile, trying to keep her head up.

The boy laughed, throwing his head back, "Tell you what, if your mom doesn't come to pick you up then my mom can take you home. I know my mom would be so scared if she left me by myself somewhere. Anyway, good luck in there."

Amelia nodded quickly, holding Penny in her arms along with the necklace "the prince" had given her. For the first time in a long time she felt so happy.

"Baby? What's wrong?"

"Hmm?" She said, slightly spaced out.

She found herself in the living room with most of the eyes on her. It's like they were watching her. Why was she having another flash? She remembered she had the thing happen when her mother died. The day after her funeral she was having these strange flash backs of memories from happy times with her mother. That scared her because her mother didn't have many.

And now it was happening again. She couldn't see straight. Not again. Her body was starting to feel weightless. With all the eyes on her, it was just too much.

"Amelia, sweetheart, what's wrong?" Brian's mother stood up from the couch and went near her.

She barely felt Will's hand anymore. When Jackie came next to her she suddenly pulled out of his grasp. She had to fight through this. She remembered what those flashes did to her. It was emotionally draining. But what was this about? Did that really happen? She never remembered any of that happening and she could remember clear scenes from 3 years old. Why was she all of a sudden getting flashes from an audition? Who was that little boy?

Amelia smiled and held her hand, thanking her sweetly, "I think I just need to sit down for a minute."

"Sure honey, go ahead, would you like some tea?"

"No thank you. I think I'm just going to sit if that's ok." Jackie just nodded and went to the kitchen to get her some water.

She hugged her stomach, going to sit on the empty end of the couch. Just so happens to be next to Brian. Amelia tried to relax by taking slow, calming deep breaths. She looked up and saw Will's eyes on her. The look of concern he held was so painful; she had to look back down.

She felt Brian's knee leaning against hers. Not this, not now. It was his version of asking her what was wrong without her boyfriend staring daggers. She moved further away if possible and kept her head down. She couldn't look at anyone. Not with all this pressure. She knew they all wanted her to say something. She would probably sound like a bumbling idiot. That's the main problem with the Southern crowd: they always have to know your business. Everything was fair game.

Baylee with his bouncy curly blond hair came rushing into the room carrying a microphone. "Hey guys! When am I gonna sing?"

The enthusiasm of the little boy reverberated around the room and everyone forgot about the tenseness. Amelia did a silent thank you to the 8-year-old for taking the spotlight off of her just for that moment. It gave her a chance to relax and watch as Brian hooked up the microphone to the karaoke machine behind the flat screen. Baylee was so excited when the intro to ABC by The Jackson 5 cued up. That kid is all Brian. Seeing Baylee was almost like looking at his father, if you put Brian in a dryer. The kid had all the right moves and knew how to entertain an audience. Being around Brian had its advantages. She wondered sometimes what life would be like if she'd said something the night he left. Would it have been the right thing to do? She kicked herself every day for not saying anything. That one month drove her crazy. Maybe she was crazy to think it would last longer than a month. He had so much going on in his life, great career, amazing family and then there were his friends. What did he need her for anyway? Guess that explains why he let her go so easy. It shouldn't have hurt her so much, but it did. She really fell hard and that was where she messed up.

Sometimes it hard to be with someone else entirely when you have some unresolved past that you can't confront. Sometimes she wanted to. There were moments where she stared at the phone just waiting for the call. Just something to tell her that she wasn't alone. But who was she kidding? They weren't really friends. Its easy to come to the conclusion that maybe she fell for the guy she wanted to see. Maybe she didn't really know him. Nothing made her cry more than that night. He really was too good to be true and now he's back where he belongs. She was where she...belongs too.

Amelia's face slowly lit up as she watched the toddler prance around and dazzle the crowd in the living room unaware of Brian sneaking a peek from the corner of the room. He couldn't help but be turned on by her smile; considering he hadn't forgotten. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear so slowly to the point where he ached to have his hands do it for her. She bit her lip when she blushed. Looked down as she giggled. Threw her head back as she let out a loud laugh. What he would trade at that moment to be the guy in her life. Will, too bad he was a good guy. Honestly if she would have shown up with someone like Nick, always juggling and jumping from one relationship to another, he would have said something, eventually. He loves Nick dearly, but the guy still hasn't matured even with the current one he's got. Poor Nick. Nobody knows the real him and probably never well. Unless by some miracle a girl from his past arrives and knew him before all this fame. Brian met Leighanne in 1997, before they were even renowned in the US. That's what Nick needs. This new girl just isn't. He doesn't know what Nick sees in her.

Brian looked over at Amelia, thinking of a lot of things. The short strained time he never forgot. He almost forgot how innocent she was. Extremely sensitive, wears her heart on her sleeve. He could read her better than anyone. He had to look away because he felt her eyes turn his way. He placed his attention back on his son cutting up a rug in front of everyone. Seeing his son so passionate and determined reminded him a lot of himself as a child. He smiled to himself thinking of those times. Everything was so complacent then. Well, perfect in his version. Having a family was something he always wanted. Now that he has everything, there's always something he can't have. Why did she have to come back in his life? She didn't, was it an accident?

As Baylee finished the song and bowed, everybody stood up and applauded. He blew everyone a kiss and smiled real big.

Amelia went over to Baylee telling him what a great job he did.

"Oh I know. I learned it all from Dad. I've been doing it all my life you know?" He raised his voice with the last word.

Amelia looked behind him to see Brian with a content smile on his face. She smiled back and turned her attention back to his son.

"That's amazing. You were so fun to watch. What else can you do?"

Baylee's eyes lit up and grew wide, "Oh yeah! This!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her aside.

She watched as he twisted his elbow so it made a rotation showing how double-jointed he was. Amelia immediately laughed and clapped.

"Impressive. I've never seen anyone do that like that before. What a talented little guy you are." She moved some hair from his face so she can see his eyes.

Brian's curly hair. Brian's eyes. Brian's nose. Brian's smile. Brian's cuteness. Brian's sense of humor. Brian's natural ability to entertain. Brian's hands. She smiled through watery eyes. She couldn't let herself go now. It was too much. Way too intense for her to grasp. She hugged the little boy in front of her and buried her face in his shoulder. When she pulled away she gave him a strong kiss on his cheek.

"Ugh, you kiss me like my mommy does. Why do girls always kiss me?" He frowned.

She honked his nose, making a "beep" sound. "Because you're so cute people can't help it. Just like your dad."

"You like my dad? You know my mom and dad love each other? Do you like my dad too?" He asked innocently.

She smiled, looking down shyly. She knelt down to his level. "I think your dad is a wonderful man. He has a beautiful family. And I glad I came here."

He grinned Brian's smile and leaned his head back, "You're funny."

She giggled and pinched his cheek lightly, "Thank you sweetheart."

Amelia watched him run off and hug himself against Leighanne's leg. She shook her head, laughed softly and stood up. When she turned around, she bumped into Brian.

The way he was looking at her made feel a little weird. Had he heard what she said? How much did he hear?

"Standing there long?" She smirked slightly.

Brian blushed. She'd never seen him turn red to that extent. It was almost like he was the kid that got caught with hand in the cookie jar. "Thank you."

She nodded proudly, "You're welcome."

He tilted his head to the side, taking a hold of her hand. He knew it was a risk, but he had to touch her; in some way. He laced his fingers into hers and knew he was in trouble.

"Brian..." She whispered, trying to move from his grip.

He wouldn't let that happen. He held onto her tighter and pulled her around the corner and to the closet under the stairs. He was sure no one saw them. Thank god he was discreet and didn't rush, that would have been too obvious.

He closed the door so it was dark. This was what he wanted.

"Brian, please, turn on the light, I'm scared." Her small voice interrupted his thoughts of desire.

He was still holding her hand, looking for the light with his other hand. He fumbled around until he felt the space above his head. He reached up higher touching the ends of the beaded cord of the overhead light. When he tugged it down he realized his face so close to hers as he illuminated the closet. He took a deep breath and looked in her eyes. He saw more than he thought he would. He lifted his hand, touching her cheek with his knuckles. He missed the feeling of her skin. It was getting to be too much for him.

"I needed to do that." He wanted to say more, but left it at that.

"Brian, please." She struggled to say, backing as far away the room would let her.

Brian tried to snap out of the trance but he couldn't. He didn't want to anymore. He was controlling himself for too long. Doing the "right" things. Saying the "right" things. Keeping his mouth shut when it came to the mother of his child. His parents were so proud that he went back to his old life. Just giving in. Being the man that everybody wanted him to be. Thinking of everybody else's feelings before considering his own. Truly and completely forgetting Amelia. Nobody knew her. Nobody but him. She was his secret fantasy. Every time he was aroused he pictured her looking back at him.

He didn't ever think that he was going to find anybody in life that made him happy like Leighanne used to. Until that morning 2 years ago in April that he found her sitting alone at the cafe. He couldn't stop himself any longer. It was like a magnet. But he messed it up. He shut her out of his life. You could say he was afraid of what people thought. In a way, he still was or he wouldn't be in the closet looking deeply in her eyes; desiring her all over again. Falling for her was easy. He let what he was getting in the way. He can only hope she didn't hate him still.

She couldn't handle it. She can't be this close to him. Her heart was about to burst out of her chest. She knew she was in the danger zone when she looked back at him. The look in his eyes, telling her it was ok. She didn't want to find out. She just couldn't. Something was pulling her back. She couldn't do that to Will. He is a good man. Will was around when Brian left her. Will called her. Will made love to her every night. Will talked to her when she was having nightmares. Brian never did. He hurt her. That's all that matters. Not the look in his eyes. She told herself not to look.

"What are we going to do about this? I'm having a hard time holding myself back here." Both his hands caressed her face, his thumb brushing her chin.

She didn't want to hear anything else. The more he talked, touched her, the more she didn't care about Will, and that wasn't the answer here.

"You have to. I'm sorry; I need to get back to Will. He's looking for me I'm sure." She didn't move for 5 seconds, flailing around for the will to the leave.

"God, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. You're obviously happy with him. I'm making things worse am I?" His voice dripped with remorse.

She said nothing. "I should go. Please, don't make this hard Brian."

He searched her eyes. She was doing this for him. It was all for that guy. But doesn't she realize she doesn't have to do anything just because that's what people expect from her? That was his problem too. If it weren't for all those people out there, he would carry her upstairs and make love to her all night and forever.

"I'm not meaning to. Really, it's just-you're so... I want you so bad."

"Brian that was more than 2 years ago. I've moved on. Now please, let me go." She tried to move past him, her hand on the handle.

She paused for a second looking at her hand. Her head was starting to pound. The loud drumming increasing by the seconds. She could feel her eyelids getting heavy. Her entire body was shivering. Her hand on the handle shook violently. She didn't expect to feel so lightheaded. Why did he have to be so close? She kept picturing that boy. He was haunting her. If only she could remember what he looked like? His eyes, what color were they?

"Penny?" She whispered the last word as her body gave out.


Amelia came out of the audition room feeling proud. The necklace really brought out her confidence, she didn't care if her mother came or not. She knew calling her dad would make things worse so she grabbed her plastic Rainbow Bright bag back and went to the main lobby. Being in this place was scary. It was an empty waiting room with no signs of life. She was completely alone. She knew waiting here was better than wondering around the building.

"There you are! Mom, she's here." Amelia turned around to see the boy in the cap with a smile on his face coming toward her.

"Your mom not around huh?" He asked her sadly.

She shook her head and looked down. "No one is coming. I didn't want to call my daddy either. He doesn't care."

He took her hand in hand, "I care," he smiled warmly at her. "Come on, we'll take you back, are you close to Ruskin?"

"Yes. I live with my Auntie. She lives in a small house but it's pretty and by the water." Amelia replied softly.

He tugged on her hand, pulling her closer to the exit. "Mom's waiting outside. Come on!"

Amelia wiped her tears on Penny and joined him outside. It was like a fairytale and he was a prince.

He led her to a silver van parked near the side of the building. His mother poked her head out of the window.

"Let's go."

"Mom." He looked back at Amelia and laughed. "You get used to her after a while."

Amelia smiled a little which made him smile wider. She liked his smile a lot. A lot of people told her she has a pretty smile. This boy had a better one. It was just perfect. Its one of those smiles you'll never forget.

She climbed in the back and buckled her seat belt. She couldn't believe she was leaving. She knows she should be scared but oddly, not of this terrified her. It was his smile. Something about it made her trust him. The color of his eyes reminded her of her light blue dress she wore at her piano recital. He was so...

"Perfect, god, you're beautiful..." She whispered as her eyes were closed.

Brian, Leighanne and a few family members stood outside just staring at Amelia as she shifted in the guest bedroom. Brian tried hard to figure out what she was talking about. When she fainted in his arms, he didn't know what to think. He knew things were just weird between them but this just took things to a new level. One he couldn't quite wrap his mind around what was going on. Why was she moving around so much? She curled up, almost like a baby. A couch cushion clung to her arms as she periodically whispered the name Penny.

"Brian are you sure she isn't sick? Maybe we should be sure. We can call Dr. Roy. Maybe he would know what's going on." Leighanne suggested, sitting next to Brian, taking his hand, squeezing it gently.

Brian didn't want to involve any professionals and at the same time if it's an emergency it was the right thing to do. He was torn just looking at her. He knew he didn't want to move her; selfishly he didn't want to create a kerfuffle with this matter in case it was pressing. He didn't know what to think. Leighanne squeezed his shoulder waking him from the confusing daze he was under.

"I think it needs to be handled when she wakes up." Brian covered his face with his hands and rubbed his face.

Nick suddenly came near the room and poked his head inside wondering what all the commotion was. A few of Brian's family members were in the guest room as things were starting to dwindle downstairs. He noticed Brian sitting on the stool near the head of the bed. He had his face in his hands sighing loudly as if he was stressed out. What Nick wanted to know was who was behind all this? That was when he saw her.

"Nick, hi, I'm Amelia. You know that already." She giggled really high and smiled.

Everybody turned around and stared at Nick. Talk about the one time he didn't want the spotlight on him. Nick opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. People all around were still gawking at him and he remained stoic. Nick looked at Brian who was supposed to be his friend and brother for some help, though he looked more like he wanted to take him outside. He didn't understand any of this. Suddenly this was his fault she said his name? He didn't even know this chick, never seen her before in his life.

He scoffed and waved all the eyes off him as if swatting a fly, "She says my name and it's my fault? This is fucking crazy."

Thank god Baylee wasn't in the room to hear Nick's foul mouth Brian thought. The last thing he needed was to have a talk with Baylee about certain words. Leave it to Nick to cause some more trouble. The nickname Kaos does him justice.

Amelia moaned, slowly moving her eye-lids up; a calm relaxed look on her face. She stretched out her arms above her head yawning softly.

She blinked several times until she noticed she wasn't alone. She shrunk her body, sitting up and gasped. "What's going on? Why's everyone staring at me?"

"Join the club." With that, Nick left the room to grab another beer. Drinking was how he handled pressure. He almost didn't care about his limit, but right now he just didn't give a shit.

Amelia sat up straighter, her back slightly rigid from the position she had been in. She didn't even know she had been sleeping. The last thing she remembered was..? The closet. Temptation. Brian's eyes, his lips. Giving in. But no, she didn't, did she? She couldn't remember. Everything was foggy. That flash really drained her extremely short term memory. She buried her hands in her face and said the only thing she could think of.

"I'm fine. Can everyone please go back to the party?" She looked up and caught Brian's eyes quickly.

Leighanne was the first one to react and stand up to lead everyone out of the room. As soon as Brian's parents had gone she came over to the bed smiling sympathetically.

"Do you need anything? Are you going to be ok?" Leighanne asked, trying to offer something.

Amelia shook her head, trying to rid herself of a headache that just wouldn't leave. She attempted to calm down her beating heart. She was sure they heard it too.

"I think I should be going home. I'm sorry for making a scene, to be honest I think I should just leave."

"You sure about that?" Brian inquired.

She had a feeling he would try to convince her to stay and she knew that wasn't the best idea. Being around him was adding to the craziness. If there was a way she could tell him what she saw. He wouldn't understand. Not even Will would. This was something she had to deal with alone.

"Yes, where's Will?" She asked sitting up swinging her legs around with her head down.

"Right here." She felt the bed shift and her hand being held.

After a few soft grunts she made herself stand up, holding onto Will. She looked in his eyes. This was where she belonged. She needed to go back. Hopefully those flashes won't come back anytime soon.

Amelia and Will went to get their coats and made small goodbyes to Brian's family. Amelia couldn't look at him. She insisted on making eye contact with Leighanne only and graciously thanked her for everything. They walked over to the car without looking back and Will went to the driver's seat.

As she settled in on the passenger side her head stopped hurting. He drove off and her mind started to clear. She could remember some things. In all honesty she wanted to forget them. Coming wasn't the brightest idea. She thought she could handle it. But really, she expected the stuff with Brian to be there. Those flashes were what puzzled her the most. She sighed looking out to the scenery around the Pacific Coast Highway. He was driving a little fast so it was hard to focus on anything. She felt she needed to relax. Just lie down and not do anything. Her eyes drifted off despite all the bright shore light beaming on the highway.


"Amelia? You alright?"

After a few seconds, Mia turned to Will, smiling gently. "Yeah, I think the headaches left so that's good."

Will turned off the radio and adjusted the heater. "I think you need to just take it easy. You looked a little out of it over there. I don't know what was going on. I really thought it was Brian."

Mia looked over at him, having her full attention, "What does that mean?"

He made the noise he makes when he's annoyed that bothered her, "Amelia, you guys have a history. I wasn't born yesterday."

She had had enough. It was almost like she had to defend herself to him every time Brian was mentioned. Why? She deserved to be treated better than that. How was anything going to last if there wasn't an understanding? She took her hair out of the clip and ran her fingers through the tangles.

"Sometimes I really feel like you don't trust me. What do I have to do to make you see that?" She sighed, frustrated at his arrogance.

"I don't know what was going on outside, I just know I didn't like what I saw. He had his hands on you. If I didn't come out in time, I thought he was going to do something. I can't help it. Its not you, trust me on that." Something about how he said that irked her. It didn't feel sincere, least for her.

"I don't wanna talk about it OK? I'm done trying to convince you of anything. Believe whatever the fuck you want." She said, frustrated with this whole thing.

She was ready to change out of her clothes and go to bed; hopefully in peace. The crazy dizziness she was feeling had finally surpassed so that's one less thing to worry about. She was not going to let him win this one. He was in the wrong.

"Fine. I'm not going to ask you about it." Will pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine abruptly.

Amelia pulled the lever of the door nearly yanking it off its hinges and slammed it shut without looking back. She didn't want to be angry. She doesn't get angry. Nobody hurts her. The last person to get away with that was JC. Thank god he was no longer in the picture. Maybe putting some distance between her and Will seemed like the right thing to do. She hated long drawn out fights because it reminded her of when she and her father would come to verbal blows. Will had never become that extreme and she wanted to keep it that way.

Hopefully he can put aside his jealously and be a man for once. She wanted to say that but she thought it would only make him more aggravated. When Will gets jealous, it's almost unbearable. One of his worst qualities; he knows it too. The best thing to do was to be as far away from it until it dies. Somehow, strangely, he was making it all her fault what happened in the backyard. If only he would have heard her out instead of jumping to conclusions like he tends to do, she wouldn't be fleeing out of the car at a rapid pace.

She turned the key in the door and jerked the handle. This was so stupid. She pushed the door open wide and snapped on the light that illuminated the living room. She was blinded by it for a minute. Her eyes got used to the dimness from the ride back. All she just wanted to do is run upstairs and go to bed. Sleep off the stress. That was until her eyes veered around. She noticed something and stomped across the room to correct it.

"Haven't I told him a million times to turn this thing off?" She shut off the TV, her last nerve nearly crumbling.

She heard the door close behind her but it didn't stop her from tidying up the room. He's known to do this. He can't stand it when she avoids him, it's worse than arguing to him. She didn't turn back. She wouldn't. Any sign of giving in would make her feel bad and none of this was her fault. Men and their stupid predatory ways. Both men in this sense. She blew a big chunk of hair out of her eyes and scooped up the nick knacks lying near the couch.

She was huffing and puffing until she finished. He didn't say anything when he put away his coat in the side closet. They rarely fought, that was true. Ever since Jennifer, he was turning into that guy again watching his girlfriend's every move. Jennifer was different. He fell in love with her at a weird time in his life. American Dreams was just starting to take off. His life wasn't as stagnant as he thought it would turn out. He had a lot going on 6 years ago. Then when Jen met Ross, it was like they never existed. He didn't think it was possible for a couple as crazy they were to just drift away. The words that scared him the most was falling out of love. Amelia didn't want to hear about his past so he never brought it up. This trust thing was eating at him and he really didn't know how to control himself. Being aggravated was not how he wanted to handle it.

Amelia was used to this behavior but it really wasn't her fault. He still has trust issues. Maybe being away from her was the best. He swung around to the bedroom, taking off his shoes and collapsed on the bed. He folded his hands and brought them behind his head. He hated this. He hated himself for being so suspicious. He stared at the ceiling with unabashed tension on his face. He couldn't relax. He sprung up from the bed when he heard a loud crash coming from the kitchen.

Something could be happening, he felt it. He didn't care about leaving her alone. Something could be really wrong.

He made his way out of the room and caught sight of the swinging door with no handle still moving. He charged forward pushing open the door.

"Ow! What the fuck?" Amelia doubled over in pain holding her face in her hands.

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