Amelia pulled her hands away from his. She looked him over. Why was
he always around at the weirdest times? It was almost like he was
purposely trying to follow her around just to stir up trouble. Why did
she get the feeling he was up to no good?
"Sorry." She said quickly and made a move to pass him but he caught
up to her.
"That's OK. Where are you going?" He picked up the pace nearly
walking in front of her toward the elevator.
"Out." She replied flatly.
"Oh good. I'm about to head out myself. In fact, we should keep each
other company. It is late; I don't wanna take any risks."
Amelia ignored him and jabbed her finger on the down button. As she
was waiting she blew out a chunk of air. She didn't realize she wasn't
breathing until he started getting closer to her. The gesture made her
hands shake.
She moved further to the left and made a small thank you when the
doors finally opened. She walked in a clipped manner as he followed
right behind. It was unfortunate. He was making her really
uncomfortable now. Plus the way he smelled was getting to her. When she
knocked into him she got a good whiff of his cologne. He smelled like
the ocean. Brought back a lot of memories she didn't knew were there.
"You're gonna be silent the entire time? Well OK, that's great.
Makes things so much easier for me."
Amelia bit the inside of her cheek to keep from speaking. The second
she gave him any attention it would be bad. Nick can't be the boy, he
just can't. Those eyes. Everything about him seemed so far off. So
different from her world. What confused her more than anything was when
did she live in Florida? All her life she was a valley girl. Born in
Hollywood, raised in Calabasas. Not proud of it but those were her
roots. For all she knew she didn't have any immediate family. She was
an only child too. She thought of another theory but quickly brushed it
away. These were just merely hallucinations caused by… she couldn't
think of an answer.
When the elevator doors opened she tried to bustle out of there. The
second she stepped out she knew exactly where she was going: the hotel
bar. Looked fairly quiet and empty. The perfect dive-like atmosphere
that matched her mood. It was just want she wanted. She made a bee-line
for the counter and ordered a drink. She looked back and low and
behold, he was watching her.
She took the drink and moved to sit in the corner booth. She played
with the cherry at the bottom, twirling the red cosmopolitan in a
whirlpool.
"So, how are you doing?" Nick started casually.
She rolled her eyes and took a long sip of the cold drink. The icy
liquid trickled down her throat slowly as she watched him sit on the
other side of the booth.
"OK, fair enough, continue to ignore me. But you know I'm right
about Brian. He's a married man. I don't know what you guys had going
on but I want it to stop. Stop fucking around. Alright? Cause if you
don't then, oh boy, just—leave him alone."
Amelia stopped twirling the tooth-picked cherry and glared at him
hard. "You don't know anything. Stop with the bull shit already."
She downed the rest of drink sucking the cherry off the toothpick.
As she chewed ravenously she felt his eyes on her.
"What?"
Nick shook his head, trying to find another way to approach this. He
rubbed his eyes, tired of the secrets. The trepid ones that haunted him
on tour and whenever he saw Brian lock the door and barricade himself
in his room unless Baylee wanted something. All Nick could do was look
at her and it made him sad. He didn't want to be the bad guy here he
just wanted some things straightened out. If Amelia was still after
Brian then he needed to know. How was he going to know?
"That guy you're seeing… do you love him?"
Amelia narrowed her eyes. "Not that it's any of your concern, I do."
Nick pulled back, thinking of a defense. Instead he blurted out,
"What's between you and Brian?"
"Look, I don't know what your game is but this is getting sick so
you better leave me alone."
"I don't play games. I'm giving you a chance to simply come clean."
He retaliated.
"Go fuck yourself." She attempted to stand up to put the empty glass
on the counter.
After she placed the glass at the end of the counter, she reached
into her pockets trying to locate a bill. Had she taken any? She smiled
when she reached in her jacket pocket but frowned when she found just
the key card. She was certain she left with some security.
"There's something going on with you. Brian's an idiot. Being
separated wasn't ideal for him and he knew it. Whatever happened
between you two was a detour. You and I both know it." He slapped down
a 20 next to her, fixed the collar of his coat and turned on his heel.
"Keep the change darling."
She grabbed the bill suddenly, as if it was the first time she'd
seen it. What did he think she was? If there's anything that irritated
her more it was others footing the bill. He just embarrassed her and
got away with it. The bartender stiffly took the bill and placed it
into the till. Everything happened so fast she couldn't process all of
it at once.
"Shit." She cursed, billowing out of there as fast as she could.
She caught up to him leaning against the lobby wall checking his
Android. He looked up with large eyes. No not again.
"I'm not playing games. I promise, trust me." He whispered, coming
closer to her.
"I don't know that-"
"Come on. The raft's over there. Get it and bring it here." Nick
called to Amelia sitting at the edge of the pool.
Amelia pulled the silver flotation near the diving board and
threw it in the pool. She looked around the backyard and couldn't find
Nick.
"Nick? Where are you? Come on, where are you?" She called out, a
little scared.
"Gotcha!" He came up from behind and tackled her until she fell
in the pool.
When she emerged she started swimming away from him upset that
he could be so cruel as to scare her that hard. She was about to swim
to the diving board when she felt a strong spray of cold water on her
back. She turned around to see Nick in a fit of giggles. He was holding
his Super Soaker Mega. Amelia wasn't going to let him go that easily.
He attempted to spray her again but she made a fast duck under water
and swam swiftly to the bottom of the end of the pool. She didn't
realize she was underneath Nick in a flash.
She pulled both his legs under the water and finally came up for
air. She didn't have time to catch her breath because he was sprinting
after her like an Olympian. When she reached the stairs he grabbed a
hold of her leg pulling her back in the shallow end nearly making her
fall on top of him.
Amelia caught her breath suddenly stopping. Everything stopped
for that matter. She saw Nick. She was bewitched by his mischievous
smile and curiosity.
"Ooh, hold still." He said suddenly.
"What?" She tried to suppress her fear that encumbered her
senses.
He extended his index finger finding a small, bright red ladybug
on her eyelash. It was so small it looked like a red dot. He looked at
the insect then back at her. She was giving him that look again. The
one that lies between trepidation and shyness. He adored that about her.
"Make a wish." He said wistfully.
She closed her eyes but there was only one thing she wanted: she
didn't want him to leave. She didn't like it when anyone left.
"Nickolas, food's ready. Hurry up before it gets cold." Jane
stood outside the screen door and turning to go back inside.
Amelia shunned away as he blew the ladybug off, threw the squirt
gun to the side and swam to the stairs near the shallow end.
They say you're never supposed to tell a wish or else it won't
come true. In this case Amelia might make an exception. When something
good happened it may not last as long we thought. She wanted to know
this for sure. Her father abandoned her while growing up, barely in her
life when she was an infant. Her mother was bordering on following the
same path. Would people stay if you tell them or do you keep quiet? She
didn't know but she was going to find out.
He never knew. And why would she say anything? What would it
help? She was 8 years old and her life was over. He said nothing and
did what he was told to whenever his mother spoke. It was like a dog
trainer calling its pet. Here he was, jumping out of pool leaving her.
Amelia pulled away when she realized she was so close to Nick she
could hear him breathing. It was getting to be too much. She raced out
of the situation and headed toward the stairs of salvation. The stairs.
No. The pool stairs… They really were there. He felt so real.
His amazing eyes made it surreal to comprehend. It's impossible though.
Why didn't she remember any of this before? Why was it happening now?
Nick chased her up the stairs watching her open the door. Going
after her would be a mistake; it'll only lead to more confrontational
discussion. Did he really want to dive into the fire? Did Brian matter
really all that much? This was about Brian? Wasn't it? What the hell
was it about that girl besides being Brian's side order?
His legs moved before he could make a decision. Before she could
close the door his foot stopped the motion. She yelped as he forced his
way inside, not knowing his next moves. His skin was shivering when he
saw the look on her face. She turned away and charged after her phone.
"Why are you doing this?" Nick moved to the bedroom.
She ignored him and found her cell underneath the sheets. She took a
deep breath and rung up Will.
Nick took a seat on the sofa chair silently. He was afraid to leave.
"Will, hey it's me. No, I'm OK, when-what time are you coming back?
The shooting goes passed midnight? Can't you get—yeah I know. No its,
well, OK. Well, I want to wait for you—I see. Will, I just need you
here. No, everything is fine. Nothing is wrong. I love you too. Yes,
I'll figure something out." She hesitated before clicking off the line.
She was expecting this to happen.
Nick sat still and watched her every move like a cheetah, conniving
and cunning. She was becoming really unpredictable and it was confusing
the hell out of him. His eyes followed her as she sprung up from the
bed and pulled open the door of the mini bar. She grabbed a few choice
bottles and went to the balcony, shutting the screen door abruptly.
Amelia decided it was time to drown. She didn't care anymore; she
wasn't going to tell Will the truth. Why was she always holding things
back? She cast aside the question and opened another small bottle of
vodka peach and chugged most of it in one swing. She managed the bitter
taste in what little feeling she had left.
She heard the screen open slightly but didn't turn around.
Nick sat next to her and stared at her. There was no way he was
going to leave now. She was sad now; maybe she might open up and talk.
Maybe about Brian. He tried once again to get through to her. She just
moved to the corner as far as she could.
Amelia barked at him again telling him to just leave her alone. She
didn't want to talk and she didn't want him to see her like this, or
anyone for that matter. She just wanted to wallow the rest of the
night. Doing whatever she could to numb the isolation she felt. Be
invisible.
Nick thought for a moment and took the initiative. He couldn't take
it anymore. At this point it was beyond a buzz she would be
experiencing. He knew this personally. But with a girl, any girl,
anything more than 2 mini bottles is a red flag. He grabbed the last
bottle out of her grasp and held it above her head.
"Hey asshole, that's mine." She grabbed above slipping on the chair
when she made another attempt.
She was sloppy. He held the bottle higher when she climbed on the
chair to match his height.
"Not anymore. Come on… were you planning on cleaning out the fridge?
You don't wanna do this. Whatever happened on the phone can't be that
bad." He maneuvered the bottle from his left hand to the right one.
"Oh yeah? I wouldn't be stuck with you if that were true."
He rolled his eyes and threw the bottle down to the street letting
it smash to pieces.
She pushed him, her face contorting in a frown. "You're going to pay
for that you know?"
She pushed him again only to move away. No she wasn't going to lose
it.
"I just wanna talk." His sincerity threw her for a loop.
She looked at him and scoffed. "And I don't give a fuck."
She pushed him away and stomped out in a huff staggering; her body
swaying. There was no getting away from him since he was hot on her
trails.
"You're clearly not all together. Just sit down and take a second.
You know the headaches come first—"
"Can't you just stop already? Stop following me and stop it with the
memories!" She yelped, it was too late to save herself.
He pulled back and raised his eyebrow at that. "What are you talking
about?"
Her eyes widened and she pulled back, her body staggering against
the end of the couch. "Nothing, forget it."
He got fed up and stood her up. Lowering his voice this time, "What
do you mean memories?"
When she looked back at him she couldn't help it. A few flashes from
childhood came in a blink and she was overwhelmed with the power they
held.
How could he possibly understand these flashes? His eyes were
triggering them. It was something in his gaze that awoke them out of
nowhere. She felt weak, almost like she'd fall over any second. She
looked at him with glazed eyes and fell against the wall in the living
room.
Nick caught her and looked in her eyes. This time, he had a flash of
a small one of a brunette little girl playing a video game with him. He
never noticed her before until now. Her eyes, they were these wide
green and butterscotch color. She had a big stretched smile on her face
and a twinkle in her eyes.
He shook his head and stared at Amelia. No way was that her. No way
any of this was true. They were the exact same eyes.
"I think this must be a dream." He whispered not believing what just
happened.
She looked away, anywhere but his eyes. "I should go." She looked at
him briefly. "Let me go."
He moved away, she was finally leaving. As he was watching her walk
away he had another flash. This one was about Nick in a car riding in
the back as he was leaving his home. Out of the corner of his eye he
spotted the small brunette staring at him as the car was pulling away,
tears burning her eyes. She left the window and he turned around. It
was the first time he cried that much. He was trying to keep it in but
his mother was saying it was going to be OK.
Nick pulled out of the flash. Amelia and this girl… They can't be.
No it isn't. There's no where she was the girl he left years ago when
he was 12. One thing was certain he concluded.
"She has her eyes."Amelia laid in bed wrestling with sleep. She
wasn't thinking of anything in particular but one thing just wouldn't
leave her thoughts. If there's anything she didn't want to confront:
those flashes. Nick was the boy who left her in Florida.
There was no hiding it anymore. The truth rang out so loud she thought
she would be going deaf from the harsh reality. Now all she needed was
concrete proof but there wasn't any. Another misshape formed. Only one
problem remained: she didn't want to believe it. How could she have
known Nick growing up? Surely he would have recognized her but he just
looked at her as if she were crazy.
She reached over and checked her phone for the 13th time in the last
30 minutes. She sighed and slammed the mobile on the cushion of the
comforter making it bounce. Will's not listening, what's the point? She
picked it back up starting to flick around her address book and
scrolled down the name list. A lot of people she rolled her eyes on,
wondering why some of these people mattered. She froze when her finger
stopped on Brian's contact information. She'd received two missed calls
earlier from him and no message. She knew he was around even if she
didn't see him. NKOTBSB was sort of hard to ignore. The promos for the
performance were everywhere. It was part of the reason why she wouldn't
watch TV. That would mean Donnie was with the guys probably and hanging
out in clubs after rehearsal. No doubt they would be staying in the
same hotel.
She knew it was just unforgivable. It was so wrong that everything
inside her screamed to remind her how downright evil it was. Will
is a good man. Don't do this. You can't do this to him. You love him.How
often did she listen to that voice controlling her every move? Every
time. Now her heart was speaking. Her conscious was non-existent.
She grabbed her phone and texted Brian. She wasn't going to regret
this, was she?
Room 213, come alone. -Amelia
She pounded the back of her head on the pillow. There was no turning
back. She did it. She's going to this. Can't back step anymore.
The knock on the door pulled her into reality. Wow, that was fast.
She was suddenly terrified. Her hands shaking from the thought and
reality of it all.
She slowly moved to get up, taking her time walking to the front of
the door. She took a deep breath and placed her hand on the handle. She
closed her eyes and reopened them when she opened the door.
She pulled his face close to hers. She looked directly in his eyes
taking in the dark patience in his stare. Her lips barely brushing his.
"The bed?" Brian breathed out, just barely.
She answered him by shutting the door, locking it and backing him
against it.
She moved closer, her lips lingering over his, waiting for him to
sing her song. Did he know it? Did he know how she felt?
"Make love to me. Make love to me now—" She was cut off by his lips
brushing over hers fervently.
He's never kissed her with such passion and a crazy desire that
would make her fall against him for support. Until she was about ready
to melt right then and there they moved to the bed, unfastening and
discarding every piece of clothing they had. Her breathing sped up at a
glorious rate and she wondered if he could feel her body shake under
his.
She closed her eyes. Making sure this wasn't another dream. Then she
was sure she wasn't when she heard her name being called.
"Look at me Mia. Open your eyes." He whispered gently.
When she opened her eyes, she could feel him begin to enter her. He
was just brushing the tip over her. He pulled back and kissed the
corners of her legs so slowly she thought she was being kissed by a
feather. His lips trailed to the sides of her hips setting her nerves
on a high she didn't know existed. She forgot what it was like to feel
this good again, about everything. Taking in the moment as it comes.
She closed her eyes when she felt his tongue slip inside.
She grabbed the pillow in a balled up fist and pulled the pillow
over her mouth. She wasn't going to take the chances on letting anybody
know what's going on.
When she felt him slide two fingers inside. She screamed her lungs
out directly into the pillow. She yelped his name and started heaving.
When she came he took all of her in. She tangled her fingers in his
hair and pulled his eyes to slowly meet hers.
"I love you so much."
"I love you back." He said against her lips before melting into
another passionate kiss.
Their hands linked as he pushed her legs apart. He pulled from her
lips, planting a small sweet kiss before looking into her sedated eyes.
He stared hard and deep as if confessing his secrets. The ones only
she could know. The ones that irritated him every time he did what he
was told. Followed the rules. Swallowed his pride and dragged his soul
along once again. But now, the dream is no more. She was his fantasy
for many years. Now she was a reality.
She brought him back when she moved her hips to meet his. Granting
him passage in her own way.
"Make love to me Brian." She held on tight when he entered her
strongly.The sun shined through the silvery silk curtains that next
day. Amelia stirred and shifted in his arms. The more she moved and
squirmed in place the tighter his arms secured around her frame. She
felt so warm. So protected. She had put on her clothes since last
night. Her thoughts were muddled but it's was all real. The night. How
she felt when he wanted her. Finally, it wasn't a dream. She shifted
around holding onto his hand as she tried to get more comfortable and
didn't feel like a contortionist.
"Quit moving, you're waking me up." Amelia's eyes came into focus.
That sounded an awful lot like—
"Nick?" Amelia scooted away as if she were burned by him.
Nick in all his tired glory sat up on his elbows with one eye
closed. His bed head prominent and obvious enough for anyone with eyes
but she didn't seem to notice.
He groaned, rubbed his eyes, slowly reanimating, "Good morning."
Amelia realized she was still in her clothes and breathed a sigh of
relief. Then she realized this was Nick. What was he doing in her bed?
More importantly, why was his arm around her like they just-
She looked around the room. Everything seemed quiet, shaded and
peaceful; she was feeling anything but. She kept looking from him to
her body, wondering, just what the hell happened last night.
She sat at the edge of the bed with her face falling in her hands.
"Where's Brian?"
She felt him kick off the covers and move closer. "He couldn't make
it."
She pulled back and looked at him strangely. "What does that mean? I
asked for him."
Nick whistled and stood up next to the bed. "I know that. He never
got the message."
"Quit fucking around, what happened? Why are you in my bed?" She
stood up and charged toward her demanding answers.
"You sent him a message. But I got it when he wasn't looking,
deleted it and found you here nearly half awake. You looked like me 2
years ago."
Amelia scrunched up her face as if she were back handed. "What?"
Nick rolled his eyes, straightened his clothes and grabbed for one
of his shoes. "Don't worry. Nothing happened last night. Brian doesn't
know anything. I'm actually surprised your boyfriend didn't come back.
I half debated coming to your room."
Amelia harshly pulled her hair up with one of her butterfly clips
and fastened it out of her eyes. "Wow. So none of it happened? Jesus.
But why didyou come?"
Nick laughed despite pulling back what went down. He'd barely had
anything to drink so he remembered everything. Even when she thought he
was someone else.
"Because I didn't want you doing something you'd regret. And quite
frankly, it was wrong to leave you to get all liquored up. I was sort
of afraid you'd contact him. Knowing he'd jump at the chance. I gotta
say though, you're pretty tough when you're sloppy drunk." He secured
both shoes on and stood up to make some coffee.
Amelia was left still confused. Her ears started ringing as if she
heard a freight train coming closer. She was glad it went away and
looked around for her cell. She reached under the pillow, her usual
hiding place and came up empty. She checked the night stand drawer and
still nothing. She felt underneath the bed and frowned when she ducked
her head under to find nothing but empty space.
She stood up and walked to the kitchen, watching as Nick made
himself right at home. "Where's my phone?"
The coffee drip started and he grabbed two mugs setting them on the
counter near the machine. "Oh, its safe don't worry."
"Why do you have my phone?" She asked with attitude.
He turned his body to her, looking at her with a lopsided grin. "I
had to take it away. Brian has his phone on him 24/7. I got lucky when
he walked away from the charger."
Amelia fake smiled and stuck out her hand. "Give it back."
Nick debated whether to succumb to the request. Then he thought of
her strength and went to his jacket on the balcony, pulling the mobile
from the inside pocket. "No more calls to Brian."
He dangled the device in front of her face and rose it up. Clearly
his 6'1" frame was no match for her meek stature. She held up a silent
fist and he relented. He remembered she could punch the air out of him
if she wanted and he didn't want to be the brunt of the unnecessary
violence.
She noticed her phone was completely dead. There was no way to know
if Will or anybody called to leave a message. She sighed and plugged it
into the charger hoping she could bring some florescent life to the
screen for a few seconds. When it came up, she noticed the screen was
blank. Nobody called. She looked at her phone in disbelief nearly
squashing the compact mobile as if it was Will's head. All this
worrying and he didn't care to let her know if he was coming back or
not. Did he stop caring when she came to New York? It was like he was a
totally new person.
"Just call him. I'm sure his phone died too. Donnie and AJ said they
all went clubbing after the restaurant. I didn't feel like going since
those rehearsals were a bitch."
Amelia calmly turned the phone over and yanked the coffee pot mid
drip. She poured it into one of the cups and set it down almost
soundlessly. She couldn't believe the nerve of Will. This was just like
him to do this whenever he parties with Turtorro. Sometimes she really
doesn't trust him. He didn't once bother to call her just to check on
her or anything. She thought the drinking would make her forget all
that. But it led to other things: blond things.
She lifted the mug attempting to drink but put it down without
feeling. No, she wasn't going to crumble. Hold it in. Just hold it
in until he leaves. He doesn't care. Nobody really cares what she
does, who she does it with.
"You OK? Hey, Amelia?" He caught her up before she fell on the tile.
"Yeah, sorry. Think my head. Oh shit!" She covered her mouth and ran
out making a straight head on to the bathroom and closed the door.
How embarrassing was this? After she finished coughing up an organ
she slumped her head against the cool wall. This was the worst she's
ever felt in her life. The dry itchy feeling she got in her throat
irritating her to the brink. She needed to regurgitate but hated the
residuals that came after. She flushed the toilet looking anywhere but
the slimy remains of what she ate last night. Did she even eat
anything? She had to stand up, the smell was getting to her. That
rotten egg citrus aroma was burning her nostrils above anything else.
She picked herself up slowly and washed her face. Everything in her
stomach hurt beyond belief but she felt a little better.
She didn't notice the water was running until Nick swung the door
open. She looked at his hands: glass of water in one, aspirin in the
other. He seemed to know this move all too well.
He set the water and aspirin near the tissue box. "How are you
feeling?"
She was surprised at how gentle he sounded. Nobody ever spoke to her
in such a hushed tone. Nick turned over the toilet lid and helped her
sit on it.
"I didn't see which organ I lost. Felt like all of them." She said,
gruffly.
"Well, good to know you're coherent. Maybe you should take this." He
handed her the antihistamine and the glass of water.
When she took them she leaned back and titled her head against the
wall, closing her eyes.
Nick got down on his knees and looked at her. She barely opened her
eyes when he glanced at her. She felt above her head for a wash cloth
and wiped her face. She straightened her body so she was sitting out of
the slump. She noticed Nick looking at her. She blinked twice and
balled the cloth.
"Stop."
"What?"
"Looking at me like that."
"I'm just glad Brian wasn't here."
"Why do you even care what I do? I still lov—I don't know what I
want with him. I just know I want him. I miss him. You have no idea
what happened 2 years ago."
"Sure I do. And I know how you feel about him but I guarantee he
doesn't feel the same. You still have your boyfriend. If you're unhappy
then tell him. Don't sweep things under the rug before it gets worse."
He put his hand on her knee gently.
"Nick, it's not your place. I know how he feels. I don't need to
hear this when I know the truth."
Nick looked at carefully. Was she? Those flashes were really messing
with his train of thought. But he needed to do one thing at a time.
"I think you should lay down. Just rest. You look like you haven't
slept much. Come on." He held out his hand in front of her.
She groaned deeply and tried to move her feet but it felt like they
were on ice or stuck on glue. She looked around with an odd expression.
"I think my legs have given out. Shit, I think they're asleep." She
banged on her knee for a response.
Nick bit the bullet and slowly scooped her up in his arms. "This is
probably from the headache. I used to get weird shivering feelings when
I threw up too. It'll pass soon."
As he carried her to bed she held onto his neck tightly. He was
warm, it relaxed her. His body, all of him was comfort. She never
noticed this before. She almost forgot about her legs falling asleep
when he brought her to her side of the bed. He pulled the covers
halfway over her body. The trick to rid temporary paralysis is to keep
warm. He learned this from AJ.
As he was tucking the covers she was looking at him. He was a
mystery. Did she want to know what the hell that meant? How curious was
she?
"Why are you doing this?" She asked sternly.
"Because you asked me to." He said, simply.
"When?"
Nick sighed. It was going to be near impossible to dodge these
questions when she's wide awake. He opted for the terse version.
"In your memories." He leaned over to kiss her forehead.
Her lashes weighed down slowly and she sunk into a deep peaceful
slumber, completely letting go.