September 15, 2012

I stand in front of the long length mirror in our hotel suite analyzing myself thoroughly. It was the night of my 24th birthday, and I was celebrating with my best friend Tina. I stood at 5"1 but 5 inch silver, crystal stilettos made me appear to be 5"6. My long, light brown hair was curled and hung right above my bubble butt. I smoked out my big hazel eyes with eye shadows and black eye liner. I wore a short, fitted white dress that had cuts going along each side. I picked the color white to make my tan skin pop. I was pretty pleased with myself. However, there is more to me than my Italian looks.I accomplished a lot in my 24 years. I am a Jersey girl born and raised. I have had my own apartment since I was 18 years old. I do have a great relationship with my parents, but they were very strict, and a girl needs her freedom. I graduated from FIT in Manhattan, and work as a manager in a clothing store called BeBe. Fashion is my soul. I hope to be a stylist one day. My best friend Tina and I, drove from our hometown of Kearny, New Jersey to Atlantic City, New Jersey. It is a not a long drive, but still out of the way. We are staying at the Harrah's hotel and going to famous Harrah's Night Club. Tina went all out and got us VIP. I love her, we have been friend's since diapers. She is crazy with her long pink hair, green eyes, red lips, and tattoos. We were night and day, but yet so connected.
"Hey you ready?" Tina asked coming from the bathroom.

"Uhh, yeah. How do I look?" I asked spinning myself in a slow circle.

"Gorgeous as usual my Italian Princess!" Tina said rolling her eyes.

"Ok, ok. I'm ready let's go twerk!" I said smiling as I grabbed my clutch.

We walked out of the room, and started heading to the elevators.

"So who did you say was going to be spinning tonight?" I asked as we stepped into the elevator.

"Pauly D from the Jersey Shore" She shrugged.

"Cute" I said.

We both laughed as the elevator went up. This was going to be a good night. I could feel it.

Tina and I walk up in Harrah's Night Club. Guido's already eyeing us like we are prey. The club was huge. There were hundreds of people going nuts to Jay-Z and Kanye's "N***** In Paris". Light's flashing, music pumping, and drinks pouring. Good times. A slutty hostess in what look like a panties and bra greeted us.

"Hi, welcome to Harrah's. Name that your table is under?" she asked not looking up from the sheet full of names.

"Tina Lloyd" replied Tina.

"Ok, right this way, Ladies." the hostess said motioning us to follow her.

We followed her to our VIP section. We had an awesome spot. Tina really went all out just for me. It was only the two of us. Our table was right next to the DJ booth, and waiting for us three bottles of grey goose and all the mixings.

"Here you go, girls. If you need anything I'll be passing by in a bit. My name is Melanie." She smirked and walked away.

I grabbed Tina's arm and squealed.

"Your the best. Thank you!" I exclaimed.

"No problem, boo. Let's drink!" Tina winked as she started to mix us drinks.

Justin Bieber's "As Long As You Love Me" came on, and I heard a "YEAHHHH BUDDY" interrupt the song, and people went nuts. I look next to us and seen a tall, tan, muscular man staring at me as he works the turntables. He smiles and I smile back.

"Here you go" Tina said interrupting my stare down with the sexy DJ.

"Oh thanks" I said taking my vodka cranberry mix from here hands.

"Cheers to my best friend, I love you. Happy motherfucking birthday bitchhh!!" Tina yelled.

I laughed and started drinking my drink, and dancing with Tina.

About 15 minutes later, a chubby bald headed guy came up to us.

"Hello Ladies" he said smiling.

"Hi" Tina and I said in unison.

"I'm Jerry. Nice to you meet you." said Jerry

"Hi, I'm Genna and this is my friend Tina." I introduced us.

"Cool, what brings you girls here?" he asked

"It's my birthday. Are you writing a book or something?" I asked smiling.

Tina giggled.

"Nah, I am actually Pauly's security guard, and he would like to invite you and your friend over to party with us." He smirked.

"Why couldn't he come himself and ask?" I asked.

"Well, as you could see he is at work so he sent me, but his set will be over in a minute, and he would like you to join us." Jerry explained.

"Sure sounds like fun" Tina shrugged as she walked up to Jerry.

"Really?" I asked her.

"Yeah, why not? It's Pauly D. Let's party!." She said to me.

"Ok, sounds good. Let's go." I smiled.

"Alright ladies, follow me." Jerry smiled at us and walked with us up the steps to where Pauly and his crew were.

Tina and I followed Jerry up three steps. He led us in the back of the DJ booth where there was 3 other guys sitting at table, smoking cigarettes and popping bottles. They were all cute in their own ways. One guy was tall with dark hair, slim and covered tattoos was standing up yelling and bouncing around drunk. There was a heavy set guy with light blue eyes and a Mohawk sitting down texting on his phone. I pretty boy that was tan with black hair drinking and talking to the crazy tattoo guy. Pauly's back was towards the crowd, so he didn't see us enter. Once we reached the table, the three guys stopped what they were doing and eyed me and Tina.

"Guys, these are our new friends Genna and Tina" Jerry introduced.

"Hey" Tina and I said in unison with a little wave.

"Wow, you are a stunner. I'm Ryan." Ryan the crazy tattooed drunk guy came up and kissed my hand.

"Slow down, Ryan. She's not here for you." Jerry interrupted.

Ryan backed off and then turned his attention to Tina.

"You can call me Jroc" said the dark haired pretty boy.

"I'm Biggie, sorry don't mean to seem rude, just texting my girlfriend." said the heavy set blue eyed guy.

"No worries. Nice to meet you all." I smiled sweetly at them.

Tina was too busy with Ryan, and didn't even pay attention to the other guys introducing themselves.

"Drink?" Jroc asked

"Sure, thanks"

"Vodka and seltzer work?" Jroc asked again

"Yeah, awesome." I smiled

He passed me my drink, and I started sipping. I felt a strong hand on my little shoulder.

"I understand there is a celebration tonight" said a loud, new York accent voice.

I turned to see Pauly standing there with a huge smile on his face. He had great teeth and a great smile. He also smelt so damn good. Pauly's hair was perfectly spiked. There he stood all tan and muscular in his red Armani shirt, jeans, and matching red and black sneakers. Gorgeous, but I watched his shows and he is a player. I have no plans in letting him in my Victoria Secret panties.

"Hi" I said breathy.

"Happy Birthday, I'm Pauly" Pauly introduced himself.

"I know who you are, and thank you. How did you know it was my birthday?" I asked.

"Jerry came over and whispered it in my ear, when you were talking to the guys." Pauly smiled

"Oh" I said.

"Quiet girl I see? how old are you?" He asked smiling.

"I'm 24 now.No, I am not quiet, just taken back I guess. How old are you?" I asked smiling taking another sip of my drink.

"I just turned 32 this July 5." He answered

"old man." I joked.

"Ha! now your loosening up, girl." He joked back.

"Shots???!!! Who wants a shot?!" screamed Ryan.

Ryan handed us shots.

"Let's dedicate this shot to Genna. Happy Birtday, baby girl!"

We all drank to that.

That night things changed. No, I didn't have sex with Pauly. We didn't even kiss, just flirted and talked. We had a lot in common. There was a whole other side to Pauly. A sweet, kind, gentle, and genuine side. He's the type of guy I could give my heart to.

September 16, 2013

A lot of things have changed in a year. Since Pauly and I met we have been inseparable. So inseparable that after 3 months of dating I moved to Vegas to be with him. I transferred over to manger position at BeBe here in Vegas, and I was also Pauly's stylist. Since being with Pauly, I became a bit of celebrity. Paparazzi following me, our pictures in magazine, people asking for my picture and autograph, and I have Play Boy calling me to pose for them. I thought about it but Pauly and my parents would not be thrilled. Tina is back in Jersey, but come one weekend every month to see me, and to bang Ryan. I just celebrated my 25th birthday yesterday. Pauly rented out the whole Nobu restaurant for my party. He flew out my parents, and Tina. Also Jerry, his girlfriend, Jroc, and Ryan were there as well. Pauly and I have been dating for a year. We loved each other, he always tells me I'm his real, first, true love and he is mine. I was waiting for him to come from sound check. I was waiting at the door for him naked. I loved sex with him, I actually made him wait 2 months before our first time together, and it was well worth the wait. The door knob turned, and I already had the lights dim, candles burning, and I had "Gorilla" by Bruno Mars playing in the back round. Pauly enters. He looks stressed, but when he sees me standing in front of the table naked. I had my long brown hair pulled up in a high, pony tail. No make up. I was bared to him. I wanted to be bare to him, give him all of me. He came up to me and started caressing my breasts and kissing my lips gently.

"I love you" Pauly whispered in my mouth.

"I love you too." I whispered back as I started to peel off his shirt.

His mouth then moved to my nipple and he used his mouth suck and nibble on it. I groaned as I struggled with his jeans. He pulled away and helped me with his jeans. He dropped his boxers for me. In front of me he stood lean, tan, and hard. His penis thick, long, bulging, and pierced. I smirked and sat on the table. I spread my legs and arched my back. He wasted no time, and entered me slowly. I moaned at his entrance. Each stroke became faster and harder. We were panting and screaming. We both climaxed at the same time. I fell back on the table, and he leaned on top of me. Never pulling out, he just continued to kiss me.

"I could stay like this all day" He smiled seductively.

"So can I" I kissed him.

Suddenly his cell goes off.

"Fuck" Pauly cursed and pulled out of me slowly.

He picked up his jeans and pulled his cell phone out. His face darkened.

"Um, I am going to go take this call in the other room, shower, then we will grab dinner before we head to Ghost Bar." He said grabbing his clothes and hurrying upstairs.

"Ok, I will be getting ready." I said confused.

I have been worried lately about Pauly. He seems to have some much on his mind lately. Always taking private calls, heading out to meetings. He is still being super sweet, but something is off. He seems worried. So now I am worried.

October 23,2013
I had just finished a long, grueling day of office work at the store. I didn't even have time for lunch. I finally took a seat in the driver's seat of Pauly's Cadillac that he insists I drive. I took off my midnight blue blazer and threw it in back seat. I started up the car, but wanted it to warm up so I decided to check my phone. I had 20 missed calls, and 15 text messages between my mom and Tina. First I called my mom but she didn't answer, so I call Tina instead.

"Genna, Are you ok?" Tina answered the phone.

"Yes, I am fine. Is everything okay with you and my parents?" I ask nervously

"Yeah, we are all just fine." Tina answered.

"Ok, so then why are you calling me like maniacs?!" I asked.

"You don't know do you? have you listened to the radio or went online?" Tina asked.

"No, I have been busy all day." I said with concern.

"It's Pauly. He fathered a child with another woman. DNA already taken and proves he is the dad, and his rep already announced this to the press." Tina explained.

My heart broke, and fell in to my stomach. My throat got tight, I could barely breathe. I felt my body go limp and pale.

"Let me call you back." I choked out and hung up.

I pulled out of the parking lot like a mad man. I was blowing red lights and driving way over the speed limit. I reach the Palms hotel where me and Pauly lived in their penthouse. As soon as I stepped out of the car and handed the keys to valet guy, cameras went flashing and paparazzi were yelling. They ended up surrounding me and couldn't even more, I could barely breathe as it was already. I suddenly felt strong hands around my wrist pull me towards safety. I was Jerry. His larger body covered my petite frame. He hurried me into the elevator.

There was silence between us as the elevator went up.

"Thank you for saving me back there." I said breaking th silence.

"Of course" he nodded.

"Is it true?" I asked softly.

"I shouldn't answer that.." Jerry went on to say

"Is it true?!" I interrupted him raising my voice.

"Yes" he said quietly.

We reached my floor. I took a deep breath and started walking out.

"Gen" Jerry called behind me.

I turned around.

"Hear him out. He didn't cheat on you. Don't make any hasty decisions." he said.

I nodded and kept walking to my door.

I walked in to our apartment to find Pauly sitting on the couch with his hoodie over his head. It was as if he was waiting for me, for my wrath. He stood up and reached for me as I stepped before him.

"Don't touch me" I hissed at him.

"Genna..." He sighed.

"What's going on? Is it true? Is true you have a baby?" I asked.

I was hoping it was a bad joke someone made up.

"Yeah, it is. Umm, back in August 2012 before I met you I slept with this girl. About two months ago her lawyers got in touch with me and my people. I finally took a DNA test and the baby is mine." Pauly explained.

I started to cry. I tried, but I couldn't hold back. The passed two months I was concerned about him. Never would I think this was situation that has been concerning him.

" You lied! This whole time you lied!! Why didn't you tell me when you found out? Why did you let me find out with the rest of the world like I did?" I asked screaming.

"I didn't want to hurt you." he whispered as he ran his hands through my hair.

"too late" I closed my eyes and whispered back.

"It was one time. She's nothing to me. I want you. Only you." Pauly pleaded.

"How old is the baby? What's her name? are you going to be in her life?" I asked ignoring what he had just said to me.

"Her name is Amabella, and she is 6 months old. Yes, I am going to be part of her life. Me and her mother will never be a couple, but I will respect her for being Amabella's mother and I plan on loving my daughter and giving her the best life possible which I hope you will help me do." he responded.

My heart stopped once again. The words "loving my daughter" shot through me like a bullet. His alarm on his phone went off. He looked at it.

"I have to go to sound check. I will be back, and we will continue this. Don't move." he said as he kissed my forehead, and walked out the door.

Once I knew for sure he was gone, I ran to his laptop, and booked the first flight to New Jersey. I had to get out of here, but I couldn't let him see me. He will make a scene. I can't survive like this. He is a liar. He embarrassed me.

I undressed, and pulled out my luggage and threw in all my belongings as quickly as possible. I grabbed a pair of clean jeans and t-shirt and ran into the shower. I still had time before he would be back, and I will be gone. In the shower, I scrubbed my body red, I erased him and my memories of him. It was done. I was done.

After my shower, I dressed quickly and grabbed my bags and walked out. I press the down button on the elevator. The elevator "dinged". When the doors open, there was Pauly. He looked surprised, and hurt. Shit. He is back early.

"What are you doing?" he asked stepping off the elevator.

"Going home." I said.

"You are home" He said stepping close to me.

"No, this your home. I don't belong here. Never did" I scoffed.

"Stay with me. We can make this work. Please, it will be okay." Pauly begged.

"I can't. It's for the best. Let me go. Let us go. For your daughter's sake, work it out with her mother. You lied to me. You made me like I was a fool. I can't survive like this. I'm jealous, I'm hurt. It's done. We are done." I cried.

"No..Don't...."Pauly continued to say.

"Good bye, Pauly. Good luck, and congratulations." I said stepping into the elevator. Doors closed. I left him standing there.

I stepped out of the elevator. Jerry was standing right there, he just hung up his cell. It must of been Pauly. I walk pass Jerry.

"Where are you going, Gen?" Jerry asked chasing after me.

"Home" I replied.

"Don't go. Stay with him, don't make it harder on him than it already is." Jerry stopped me trying to take my bags from me.

"Hard on him?! Fuck him! I am the one who got lied to." I snapped back as I snatched my bags away from his grip.

"Gen..." Jerry started to say.

"Good bye, Jerry. I will miss you." I said.

I walked away. Paparazzi were gone now. I got into the cab, and drove away. I plan to never look back or see Pauly again.

February 1st, 2014

It had been just a little over 3 months since I walked away from Pauly. So much has changed. First off, it was the hardest 3 months of my life. All I did was cry, lay around, mope, and was very depressed. I had to move back in to my parent's house back in Jersey. I love my parents, and they have been real supportive but I need to get out. The past few weeks have been a huge turn around in my life. I have been keeping busy in the gym, hanging out more with Tina again, helping my Mom with chores, and applying for jobs. I obliviously lost my manager job at Bebe once I moved back. Believe it or not, it was hard to get a job because everyone new my story, and paparazzi still try to take some snap shots of me. I'm not famous, but I guess some time it's fun to check in on "Pauly's D heart broken lover". Pauly did try to call and email me when I returned back to Jersey, but I changed my number and email my address. I worked real hard to get out of my rut, and I deserved to be where I am at now.

I now sit in the little restaurant in Jersey waiting to be interviewed for a stylist position. Tina's Aunt Jen is the manager of the Backstreet Boys. They need a stylist, and that's what I am so they are giving me a chance to interview for the spot. One of the guy's is flying out here to interview me. I was so nervous. I drummed my perfectly manicure nails on the table. I hope I looked professional. I wore a nude colored pant suit with a matching jacket, a white silk top underneath, nude colored stilettos, and a chunky gold, statement necklace. My makeup was done to a T as usual.

"Ms.Rizzo?" a male voice asked behind me.

I stood up and turned around to see a tall, slim, blonde hair, blue eyed man. He was dressed in khakis, buccaneers t-shirt, and sneakers. He need some fashion direction, but definitely very very cute.

"Yes, that's me. You can me Genna. And you are?" I smiled putting out my hand.

"Nick. Nice to meet you, Genna." Nick said taking my hand and shaking it.

"Nice to meet you to." I smirked again.

"Let's sit, and talk." He motioned to the chairs.

We sat. I passed him my resume and portfolio.

"So your a Backstreet Boy, Nick?" I asked.

"Yes, I am. Impressed?" He asked smirking.

"Very, especially when you flew to Jersey just for an interview." I said.

"Well, I live in Tennessee. So the trip was long, obviously fashion is important to us while we tour and go to award shows. Even though I do look like a hot mess now." Nick joked.

Nick flipped through my portfolio for a bit, and then looked and stared at me for a second.

"Wow" He said.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Your beautiful,smart, and talented." He complimented.

"Thanks, but I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't appreciate you saying that." I blushed.

"What girlfriend? I broke off my engagement a long time ago. I'm a single man. What about you? A boyfriend?" Nick winked.

"Wow! this some intense interview." I laughed.

"I feel like I seen you before." Nick pondered.

"I use to date Pauly D. He had a baby with a one night stand he met before me. But he knew about this baby for a while and he let me know last. He lied to me for months. I hate liars." I rolled my eyes.

"I agree. I hate liars too." He nodded.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Ready, for some questions and answers. I ask the questions and you say yes or no" He said breaking the silence.

I nodded.

-----

Nick : Are you willing to travel around the world?

Me: Yes

Nick Are you ready for a hetic schedule and running around like a chicken without a head?

Me: Yes

Nick Can you handle 5 crazy guys?

Me: Yes

Nick: Can you promise that you will do me the pleasure of having breakfast, lunch, dinner with me every day?

Me: Yes, I think I can manage.

-----

"Then you got yourself a job. Welcome to the Backstreet team, Genna." Nick said smiling.

I took a deep breathe and smiled back. Everything seem to be falling in place.

May 12th, 2014

I am backstage in the boy's dressing room. We were in Barcelona. It was the last night for the European tour. I am in the room preparing all the guy's outfits for the after party. As I am putting sticky notes on whose outfit belongs to who, I look up at the tv. It's showing the concert. I laugh to myself seeing Nick dance sexually and teasing the girls. I knew it was all in good fun. Nick and I started dating not too long after we met. The tabloids went crazy when they seen Pauly D's ex was not Nick Carter's arm candy. I have to say I often wonder what Pauly thinks or if he thinks at all when he sees me and Nick together on the red carpet or having dinner. From my reading on Pauly, him and his baby mama never got together, infact they hate each , but share custody of their child. Of course, Pauly is back to his old ways and surrounded with a different bimbo every night. Creep. Suddenly Nick calling my name breaks my thoughts. I look around, and lastly look up at Nick on the tv, looking in the camera and calling my name.

"Genna??!!! Genna can you come on stage please?" Nick called.

I was confused. What the hell was he doing. Before I went on stage, I looked at myself in the mirror. I had my long dark hair in long spiral curls. A dark purple maxi dress, that showed a little too much cleavage, and silver gladiator sandals. As usual I had make up on, but it was a natural, bronze look today. I took a deep breathe and left the room and started walking to the stage.

"Genna, Genna, Genna" I hear the crowd chanting my name.

I reach the stage. All the stage managers are patting me and on the back and smiling. Weirdos.

I walk on stage, and the crowd goes nuts. Camera's flashing. Nick is in the middle of the stage, holding out his hand to me and smiling. The boys are standing a little off to the side, smiling at me. Then, they start singing acapella.



"I'll be the one
I guess you were lost when I met you
Still there were tears in your eyes
So out of trust and I knew
No more than mysteries and lies
There you are, wild and free
Reachin' out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night'

I am no holding Nick's hand. Confused and lost about why this was happening. Then the singing stops, and Nick get's down on one knee. Uh Oh. The fans are going insane.

" Genna, I'm sure with me down on one knew you know why you are here. I just want to tell you, that you are my future. When I think of anything happy, I think of you. So Genna Rizzo, will you marry me?" Nick asked sweetly.

My heart dropped. This was crazy, risky, yet romantic. This is really soon, too soon.

"Yes" I whispered without even really thinking.

Nick smiles and puts a huge square diamond ring on my finger. This ring weighs more than me. Nick picks me up and kisses me. The guy's come over and hug and congratulate us well. Fan's are chanting and crying. I give Nick one last kiss and wave to fans as I walk off stage so they can finish the show.

I step off stage and the whole BSB team is congratulating me. As I am embracing this moment, in the back of my head I am still thinking "Choke on that Pauly D".

June 4th, 2014

I had just finished going for my jog. I was hot and sweaty, I went to the refrigerator to grab a drink. I move to Tennessee with Nick. It's so beautiful here. I start drinking my water when I feel a strong wet body grab me from behind. It was Nick of course. He was wet from just showering. I turned to him to see him wearing a devilish smile and a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Wow what did I do to deserve this welcome?" I asked with a sly smile.

"Just because your the most sexiest fiancée ever and I love you." Nick said kissing my neck and laying his hands on my bubble butt.

"Hmmm sure" I muttered

"I have to talk to you about something." He whispered in my ear.

"Hm later. I don't think I'm done doing my cardio yet" I said raising my eye brow.

Without another word, Nick picked me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel this penis bulging through the towel on my sex. He carried me to the our bedroom. He laid on top of me, and used my free hands to remove his towel. Nick stop kissing me just to remove my sports bra, and yoga pants. Nick used his hands to rubbed my swollen breast. I spread my legs to let him know I was ready. He entered me slowly. Every stroke was slow and steady but enough to make us both orgasm in minutes.

We laid in bed, under our sheets. Nick cuddling next to me.

"Ok, now I really got to tell you something." Nick said seriously.

"Ok go ahead" I winked.

"So you know next week we go on our American Tour again?" Nick asked.

"Of course" I said.

"Well, Jen booked our opening acts. Austin Mahone and ummmmm Pauly D." Nick said nervously.

"What?! No!! How?! How are you okay with this?!" I yelled

"Gen, I just found out yesterday. They were confirmed. They asked him to come back due to popular demand. Jen isn't too swift you know. I am not happy with it trust me, and I know tabloids are going to talk shit, but you know what I know us, and it's time to move on. Fuck him." Nick said

"Your right." I said annoyed.

"Don't worry, I'm your present, he is your past." Nick said getting up and throwing on some boxers.

I nodded.

"You want me to make you anything to eat?" Nick asked.

"No, Thanks. I need to shower." I said quietly

"Ok, I will be down stairs." Nick said walking away.

I grabbed my cell off the night stand, and went into our master bathroom. I turned on the shower water, and called Tina. Tina answered.

"Guess WHAT?!!" I hissed.

"Well, hello to you too." Tina joked.

"No time for jokes. Pauly is one of the opening acts for the tour." I said.

"Oh shit. What Nick say?" Tina asked.

"He was like fuck him. It's over, it's the past. We are in love now." I said feeling defeated.

"Nick is right. What happen with you and Pauly is old news. Grudges need to die. Your getting married. Your going to be a wife and mother. Move on. Simple. Unless you never really moved on from Pauly and your lying to yourself and Nick." Tina explained.

"Whatever, Dr.Phil. I need to shower." I said annoyed.

"Don't bite my head sheesh...bye." said Tina.

I hung up. I was annoyed. Tina is my best friend, but thinks she knows it all.

I stepped in the shower, and let out a sigh when the hot water hit my body. I thought maybe the reason why I was so mad with Tina was because she is right. I maybe I never moved on from Pauly. Hopefully this summer I can get some closure.