“Where are you going? Going to visit your sister for a while?” I asked. She looked up at me with a sad face.

“Yes,”

“When will you be back?”

“I won’t be coming back.” The look on my face must have been a sight to see. She wasn’t coming back? This kind of came out of nowhere. I know I have been on tour and everything, but I thought our communication was a strong point for us.

“What do you mean you’re not coming back?”

“I can’t do this anymore. I thought once we got married people would be more accepting. Everything has just gotten much worse.” She went into the closet and started pulling down clothes from the hangers.

“What in the world are you talking about? Everyone loves you” She looks at me with this glare in her eyes. I hate when she get so serious.

“Please Nick, have you even read what your mother thinks? She wants you to marry Paris Hilton for god sakes! Apparently Paris is better than me.” I sighed. She apparently she had been reading my mother’s lovely Facebook rants again.

“Who gives a flying fuck about what she says. It shouldn’t matter what she says or what anyone else says. I love you. That is all that should matter. We have been together for almost five years now. Now that we have gotten married you just want to walk away from everything over a few little posts? I thought you were stronger than this Lo?” I was upset. None of this was making any sense to me.

“I care Nick. I have to see it all.”

“Ignore it”

“It’s kind of hard to do Nick. Everyone tags me in everything and if they aren’t tagging me they tag you”

“I don’t want you to leave. We can work this out Lo. It’s not worth risking everything we have overcome is it?” Lauren looked at me again with that look again. She meant business.

“It’s just not going to work Nick” she finished putting her last minute things into the suitcase and zipped them all up.

“So just like that you are going to leave? I can’t believe you are leaving. You are only thinking about yourself.” She didn’t say anything she just stood there,” Tell me one thing is there someone else? Have I just been blind this entire time?” she couldn’t say one word. My patience was growing slim to none.

“Nick…I just can’t do this right now. I will send someone for my things by the end of the week” and just like that she rolled her suitcases out the door. I know I am not the easiest person in the world to deal with at times. I am a stubborn pain in the ass most of the time. I tried to be the best husband to her. I did everything she wanted to do. We moved to back out to Los Angeles because she hated the country scenery. I wanted to move to Florida, but she didn’t want to be near my family. I can see her reasoning for that. I wanted to start a family she told me we had to wait a few years. So we are…or well we were I guess. After thinking about it for a few seconds I decided to run after her like in those sappy romantic movies. One problem when I went downstairs. She was already gone. It was all over. Everything was gone like in the blink of an eye. I didn’t know whether to be sad or mad first. I was sad because she was gone but I am furious as hell because I spent a ton of money on the wedding and our new house. I even sold my home in Tennessee and that kind of makes me mad too now that I think about it. I flopped down on the couch. I just felt like crawling into a hole somewhere and never come out. I feel like going somewhere, where no one knows who “Nick Carter” is. I want to be someone who I am not for a change. Nacho came running down the hall with his ball and jumped up onto the couch throwing the ball into my lap.

“I am not in the mood right now boy,” he looked up at me with his big brown puppy dog eyes,” Yeah she is gone,” I sighed.” I don’t think she is coming back either,” I shook my head at him. Nacho cocked his head to the side,” I will be ok boy. I have been through many break ups before. “He crawled into my lap. I am almost sure he felt what I was feeling. We seem to have a connection like that sometimes. I grabbed the TV remote and started flipping through channels. Nothing on of course; I looked down at Nacho who was now snoring in my lap. It was just me and him now.

I drove up to his house and put my rental car in park. Normally I would not have flown all this way, but I was worried. I was worried about Nick. None of us have heard from him in almost two weeks; which was unusual. I got out of the car and shut the door behind me. I noticed while walking up the drive his yard looked like it hasn’t had a good mow in years. I knocked on the door. No answer. I continuously rang his doorbell next. No answer. As I tried to remember where he kept his spare key I decided to see if it was unlocked. I turned the handle and sure enough it was. As I walked in I noticed a terrible smell. This was not looking good.

“Nick!” I called. No answer,” Yo, Nick dude this isn’t funny,” I hollered,” I began to worry even more. I decided to investigate. I walked into the kitchen and came to the conclusion where the terrible stench was coming from. The dishes were piled in the sink, on the counters, and even some on the table. Nacho’s bowls looked like they hadn’t been clean in years. He certainly wasn’t taking this break up well, but why didn’t he call and talk to someone? Maybe he was just embarrassed. Investigating more I walked down the hall and into his bedroom. I took a quick sweep around the room I noticed clothes were thrown everywhere. Picture frames of him and Lauren were broken and glass was shattered all over the floor. He clearly had been upset.” Nick? Are you pulling some God awful prank or something? Because this prank really sucks dude,” I was hoping he would jump from behind the curtains or hell even out of the closet, but still no sign of him. Looking into his closet all his clothes were still there, but most of Lauren’s were on the floor like he threw them there. My heart was breaking for him and I don’t even know where he is. He clearly was having trouble and I don’t know where he is. Hell, he didn’t even tell us the full story of what happened between the two of them. I have finally realized though-he isn’t here.

“Maybe he went to the store or something?” I questioned aloud as I walked into his living room. I could not bear to look at the sight of his house any longer. I don’t think I have ever seen it this bad. He was pretty messy on tour, but this was just bad. I moved some garbage from the couch and made myself a spot and plopped down on the couch.

*****

I heard my phone ringing. I looked at the time 2:30.

“Damn I must have fallen asleep,” I said looking at my phone not recognizing the number I decided to answer it,” Hello?”

“Yes, may I speak with Brian Littrell please?”

“This is him. May I ask whose calling?”

“This is Detective Smith from the LAPD.” I was confused and then it dawned on me-Nick.

“How can I help you?”

“I have some bad news to tell you, but I don’t think I should tell you over the phone. If you are in the area do you think you could swing by the station? I have some questions to ask you.” I took a deep breath.

“Yeah I am not too far from there. I can be there in about 20 minutes.” I hung up the phone. I was now confused and really worried.

***

I arrived at the station and was greeted by Detective Smith immediately. He took me into his office and I sat down in the chair across from his desk.

“So what is going on?” I asked.

“Do you recognize this car?” he pulled out a picture from a file folder and showed it to me. It was Nick’s 2013 hummer.

“Yes did something happen to him?” the Detective quickly sighed. I had a feeling I was going to be braced with some news I certainly was not ready to hear.

“We found his car in the Los Angeles River down by Long Beach this afternoon any idea why?”

“Are you sure it wasn’t like stolen and just dumped there?” I questioned.

“We also found a bottle of anxiety pills. When we opened the bottle in the evidence lab there were only just a few in there. The prescription was just filled a few days ago.”

“So what are you saying?” I asked,” Are you telling me Nick killed himself?” I know Nick would not have done this. Even on his worst of days he wouldn’t. He loved the fans too much and we were his family. He had been acting weird lately after the break up. I guess anything was possible.

“We don’t know that, but it’s looking that way. Has he ever been suicidal before?” I shook my head. “Not that I know of I know he has been depressed lately. His wife just left him a couple of weeks ago. He quit talking to us which is why I flew out here. I was worried about him. I guess I was too late.” I felt like this was almost my fault. If I had just flown out here when she left him maybe I could have helped him. I have seen break ups before, but this one was different. He truly loved Lauren. They were meant for each other or so I thought anyway,” Did you find his body? Do I need to ID it or something? Did you contact his parents?”

“We tried contacting his family but no one answered. To answer your question no we haven’t found a body just he car. We are assuming when the car was driven into the river the current took the body with it. The driver’s side door was open as well as the passenger side window was rolled all the way down as well. The chance of actually finding his body is almost slim to none I am afraid. We also found this in the passenger seat” he showed me a dog collar in an evidence bag.

“Nacho,” I whispered,” He took him with him I guess. I suppose you didn’t find any remains of a little pug either?” he shook his head,” None of this makes sense to me. Nick wouldn’t do this kind of thing. I know him. Are you sure there isn’t some foul play or anything?”

“We aren’t ruling it out, but because he car was in the river all evidence has pretty much been compromised Mr. Littrell. Until I can either find a body or he shows up there isn’t much I can do right now other than speculate what happened.” I sighed.

“Thank you Detective for all the information.” I stood up and shook his hand,” I have a lot of people to notify. What do we do next?” “Keep looking for clues. Not much I can do without a body. I will have the force out for the next couple of weeks to look for the body. My budget is stretched as it is so after two weeks I cannot continue the search I am sorry”

“I understand,” I nodded my head,” Please call me if he turns up or if you find anything else out.”

“I will be sure you are notified first,” I shook his hand once more and walked out of the office and back to my car. Nick was gone. He just disappeared. I didn’t even know how to react. I have lost family members in my life, but this was hard. I think I am just more in shock than anything. When it sets in, its’ going to set in hard. I decided to go back to Nick’s house to see if I could find anything out of place. On my way there I wondered how I was going to tell Howie, AJ, and Kevin. How was I going to tell Leighanne or even Baylee? They were best friends. The worst part of this situation was going to be the reaction from the fans. I had so much to do and so little time to do it all in.

I landed in Atlanta just a few hours after I heard about Nick. I would have stayed but what was the point if no one knew where he was? Besides I still have to tell everyone, which was something I am completely dreading. I was thinking of doing some kind of conference call. It wasn’t like I could get everyone to come to our house without telling them what was up. As I got into my car my phone rang. It was Leighanne. I declined the call. I didn’t feel like telling her what happened. She figured I would be out with Nick anyway. As I drove home I couldn’t help but think of everything that happened today. I thought I knew Nick better, but maybe we had drifted apart more than I realized? I felt frustrated, sad, and even angry. I don’t understand why. Why would he do this? The more I thought about it on the way home the more I realized he had no one. No one was there to talk to him. We all were busy. I took the family on a vacation. AJ and Rochelle were having some much family bonding time not to mention think AJ said something about making Ava a sibling. Howie and Leigh went to visit her family back east for a while. Kevin and Kristen just decided to vegetate at their farm in Kentucky. We were all busy when he needed us the most. I almost felt like this was completely my fault. I didn’t pick up the phone when he called. Hell, I didn’t even know what had happened until I saw some twitter posts one day. It was upsetting to me. When I arrived home I walked through the door and was greeted by Willie. I bent down and patted him on the head. I walked around the corner and saw Leighanne in the kitchen.

“I tried to call you,” she said.

“Oh, I guess my phone lost reception somewhere along the way,” I lied.

“So did you talk to Nick? I figured you would have stayed there for a few days for some guy time” I looked at Leighanne,” Bri is everything ok? You look like you are about to cry” she was right I was,” Nick ok?” I shook my head it was the only response I could give,” What’s wrong with Nick?” I sighed.

“When I went to his house it was a mess. A mess I have never seen before Leigh. There was food everywhere broken glass from picture frames all over the floor. Clothes were piled everywhere,” I explained,” Then I got a call from the LAPD. They found Nick’s car in the river by Long Beach,” I took a deep breath,” They found a bottle of pills in the car. They can’t find his body either. They think it floated down the river or something. Right now he is just missing, but it isn’t looking good”

“Are they going to search for him?”

“Only two weeks due to budget cuts,” tears were rolling down her face. I pulled her into a hug. I couldn’t control myself anymore either. I had to let all the pain I was feeling out sometime. It was so sudden I don’t think anyone will expect this, ”I need to tell Bay.” I said breaking the hug.

“I think he is upstairs. He is going to be devastated”

“I know,” As I walked up the stairs I could hear him yelling at his TV. I walked into his room and saw him in his gamer chair that Nick got him for his birthday one year.

“Hey sport you winning?”

“I have a bunch of people who clearly has never played this game before. It just hasn’t been my mine. If Uncle Nick were on we would be kicking some major butt,” I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed.

“You think we could talk for a few minutes? It’s kind of important”

“Yeah sure dad,” he set his controller down on the floor next to the chair.

“I don’t know how to tell you this but Uncle Nick is missing,”

“Missing?” he questioned.

“Yes the police can’t find his body. They found his car in the river”

“You’re lying”

“I wish I were Bay. I just came from the police station before I came home. I don’t want to sugar coat this son but the police found some pills in his car. If they cannot find his body within the next two weeks they will presume him dead.” Baylee came up and gave me a hug,” I am sorry son I know you and Nick were close”

“Dad I will miss him”

“Me too,” I cried with him, but I had a harder job waiting for me. I had to tell Howie, AJ and Kevin.” I have to go tell the guys. We can talk later ok?” Baylee nodded his head. I got up from the bed and walked into my office just down the hall. I sat down in my chair and took my phone out of my pocket. I pushed the conference call button. Everyone answered.

“Hey Rok what’s up?” AJ asked.

“Not good,” I replied.

“Did the visit with Nick not go as planned?” Howie asked.

“It was a mess. It’s still a mess just a bigger one.” I responded.

“What do you mean?” Kevin asked.

“He is missing. I got a call from the LAPD saying they found his car in the river by Long Beach,” I said,” They also found a bottle of pills. It had been filled just a few days ago. They are going to do a two week search for his body, but after that they will presume him dead.”

“Are they sure it was even his car?” AJ questioned.

“Positive. I saw the pictures. I don’t know what to do. I tried to call Jane but she didn’t answer of course. Do we tell the fans he is missing?”

“He is just missing right? They haven’t found his body correct?”

“What I think AJ is trying to say is I think we just keep this a secret for now,” Howie said,” Maybe he just disappeared for a while you know to clear his head.”

“D, it’s very unlikely”

“I am just trying to keep optimistic. It’s Nick after all you never know what he is going to come up with”

“How about we wait until after the search? If they don’t find anything we tell the fans. The last thing we should do is tell them he is missing or dead and then he shows up. Then we might look like a bunch of assholes.” Kevin said.

“Sounds reasonable” I said.

“Did you go to his house?” AJ asked.

“Of course it was trashed. I mean like completely trashed worse than his tour bus”

“That is almost hard to believe”

“I know. I almost felt like this was my fault” I said.

“Cus, it’s no one’s fault. Nick needed us and we were all busy. Let’s just wait and see if he shows up. If he doesn’t then we will go from there” Kevin said.

“Alright, I am going to try and call Jane again. I will keep in touch and I will call if I hear anything else”

“Alright Rok just keep us updated” AJ said

“I will.” Everyone hung up at the same time. That was hard. I can only imagine what they are all thinking on the other end of the line now. I imagine AJ is breaking down or attempting to punch something. It probably won’t hit Howie for a while I imagine Kevin has broken down. He has tried so hard to be that father figure to Nick but this time I am sure he feels like he failed that role. None of this made sense to me still. I just hope that he comes home. I really hope Howie is right and maybe he did just disappear for a while.

“Hello?”

“I am sorry to wake you up Mr. Littrell, but I am calling to inform you that it’s been two weeks.” I sighed once more.

“I know.”

“I wish I could continue on with the search. My men have looked everywhere. I had them go up all along the coast and I had divers in the river. We couldn’t find anything.” He said.

“I understand. So what happens now?” I asked.

“Basically the case will just hang around until either he turns up, or new evidence comes into the office.”

“Are you saying there is a slim chance he is alive?”

“That is correct. I am deeply sorry Mr. Littrell. I know you wanted to find Mr. Carter. Without any evidence to prove otherwise my hands are tied.”

“Well thank you for all your help Detective. The guys’ and I appreciate all what you have done. I guess it’s time to start releasing information.”

“If we find any more information we won’t hesitate to call. I also wanted to mention that if you can remember anything about any conversations about anything that you might think could be important. Please don’t hesitate to call as well. It could be the simplest thing, but sometimes it makes a difference.

“Will do; thanks again.”

I hung up the phone. I was devastated. I had a gut feeling, but I didn’t want it to be right. I wanted it to be wrong. Now all I can do is get together with the guys and figure out how we would tell the fans. This was not going to be an easy task most of them adore Nick. I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen and went straight to the coffee pot. I poured me a cup. I was certainly going to need it. I needed a plan of action.

**

The next day the guys and I were getting together. We all flew out to Los Angeles. We had a lot of stuff to get done and go over. As I reached AJ’s house I was late, which just isn’t like me. It was always Nick. I parked my car and got out and walked up to the house. I was just about to ring the doorbell when AJ opened the door.

“I think this is the first time you have been late for anything Rok,” AJ teased.

“My flight was late getting in,” I replied.

“Come on in. Everyone is in the living room” AJ and I walked into the living room. Everyone looked so serious. I haven’t seen anyone this sad since we had the meeting about AJ going into rehab. I sat on the couch next to Kevin.

“So what do we do now?” Howie asked.

“The only thing left,” I said,” We need to tell the fans”

“Ever get a hold of his family?”

“No,” I said shaking my head,” It’s like they didn’t care figures though we have been his family since he was just thirteen.”

“How do we want to do this?” AJ asked,” Do we do a video stream? Go onto GMA or something?”

“Video I guess?” I replied,” This is really hard to comprehend. I can’t believe we have to do this. We had a hard enough time when AJ went into rehab.”

“This is nothing compared to be going into rehab Rok. I came home. Nick is just gone”

“I know; Bad comparison.” I looked at the other guys and they looked just as dumbfounded as I was. How do you tell millions of people that someone you love and admired is just gone?

“How about we post a video on our site? It’s the only thing I can think of” Kevin leaned forward in is seat.

“No, we do it live,” he looked at me,” We will call GMA and we’ll do a live video feed from here. It’s more personal that way. It’s what Nick would have wanted” Kevin was right.

“Good idea Kev. I don’t think we all are thinking properly. I know I am not. I think this is going to take a few days for everything to really sink in,” I explained,” But D if you want to get a hold of GMA and see if they can squeeze us in tomorrow. Kevin and AJ will get a hold of management, and I am going to attempt to try and call Nick’s family. If I cannot get a hold of them by phone I will see if Aaron still lives here in LA. The Carter’s just didn’t disappear either.”

“Alright, I will get right on it,” Howie nodded as he took out his cell phone. We all went our separate ways on our cell phones. All I know is tomorrow is going to suck.

I woke up around eight am in my hotel room. I almost forgot what it was like waking up early. Every day I have been patiently waiting for some news. I figured someone would have been by my house by now or at least found my car. Maybe they really didn’t care? I was going to disappear within that first week. I wanted too, but I felt like I had to stay just to make sure. I have already been missing in action for a little over two weeks now. I had this all set up too. I emptied out my bank account. I surely wasn’t going to use my debit card for anything. I thought this plan out quite well. I figured I had seen enough CSI so why not try and pull it off. I bought an old mustang and put it up in a storage building under a fake name of course. Even the room I am in now is not even under MY name. I feel kind of proud of myself really. The pills that I had left in the car though were actually an accident. I was clumsy and dropped them maybe they will think the worst has happened to me? Maybe that is why I haven’t heard anything on the news? Maybe they are trying to find my body or something? All I wanted to do was escape. I needed to escape from life from everything really. Everyone had their own things going but me. I was just starting to feel like my married life was going good. That even back fired on me. I just want to be able to do something else. I want to be someone else. I am just tired of the same ole stuff. I felt like when our break happened Lauren and I could reconnect and maybe talk of starting a family but she was off doing her own thing. I did however find out that she was running around though. Some guy she met at the gym I always wondered why she would go there at such odd hours during the day. I thought she was different than the rest of the girls. I guess I thought wrong. He was just lucky I was in my hide out mode or else I would have probably beaten the living shit out of him. No true love for me there maybe she is still out there somewhere.

I grabbed my TV remote from the bedside table and turned on the TV. I flipped through some channels and found the local news channel with ‘Good Morning America’ on. It was on commercial so I took out my new phone and started playing around with the settings. I glanced up and I saw the fellas. They were on and they seemed to be streaming live from AJ’s house?

“Maybe they did care?” I thought to myself. I turned up the volume on the TV.

“Good morning guys.”

“Good morning Robin.” Brian said.

“So I hear you guys have some news this morning. I see that you are missing a band mate” I watched as Brian sighed. I watched all of them. They looked so sad. I immediately started to rethink this whole disappearing thing.

“Yes we are.” Kevin replied. I watched as Brian tried to desperately to hold back his tears.

“So what is this news?” Robin asked.

“This is very hard for me to say,” Kevin responded,” We are sad to report that our band mate Nick has been reported dead. He has been missing for almost two weeks now. The LAPD has found his car near Long Beach but with no body. They searched for a couple of weeks but nothing turned up. They didn’t have any choice but to report him deceased until they find a body or he shows up” I watched as the tears rolled down their faces. How could I do this to them? Even Robin was trying to hold back her tears.

“So where are you guys going to go from here?”

“We haven’t figured out all the details just yet,” AJ said,” We are hoping that he turns up somewhere. This is probably hard to say. We just want him home whether he comes home in a bag or shows up. We want to be able to mourn without wondering. “

“Did something happen to trigger this?” they all looked at one another.

“We are assuming he was depressed,” Howie explained,” They found some anti-anxiety pills in his car when they found it. We don’t know what was going on with him. We were all busy with other things when he needed us the most,” Howie said. Howie was right they weren’t there when I needed them they most. I understand family things but just simply ignoring you is another.

“Lauren left him,” Brian interjected,” It was hard on him. He loved her very much. When I went to his house and found it the way I did I couldn’t believe this was the Nick I once shared a bunk with. He was in pain and I didn’t pick up my phone when he called,” Brian sobbed,” I just wished I had gotten to him in time,”

“This is so heartbreaking and sad to hear. Any plans for a memorial in his honor?”

“Not at this time Robin. We will make sure to make an announcement on our website as soon as we figure some things out.” Kevin said.

“Well we thank you for coming to Good Morning American first for this sudden tragic news of Nick. Please keep us updated with any new information that you guys may obtain.”

“We sure will Robin.” That was painful to watch. Brian is blaming himself. I would have never figured him to come to the house first. He has drifted away so much over the years. He didn’t approve of half the stuff I have done in the past. He just distanced himself from me. It only got worse when Lauren came into the picture. Was he having a change of heart? Was he now realizing that I am gone that he still needs me as much as I needed him when he wasn’t around? As much as I wanted to call them up and tell them I am still very much alive. I couldn’t. I had to get away. I need this break. No one may see it now but they will understand someday.

It has been a few days since our GMA appearance. The fans have been pouring condolences left and right all over social media. My twitter has been flooded. It has been a hard few weeks for all of us. I think the hardest was telling fans especially on live TV. I am sure most of the world was just in shock. This happens all too well these days unfortunately. Depression is a hard thing to overcome when you have no one by your side to help you. We all didn’t realize the extent of his problems until it was too late. To be quite honest I was surprised with Brian’s reactions to everything. They haven’t been close in so long. They may goof off on stage and in interviews but off stage they are two completely different people. It makes my heart ache. They were such good friends before wives and children came along. I looked out the window and saw the mail lady drop off the mail into my box and drive onto the next house.

“Leigh I will be right back mail!” I hollered as I walked out the door. When I got to my mailbox a nearby neighbor waved so I waved back. I opened my box and took out my mail. I noticed an unmarked letter. My gut was telling me I needed to read this as soon as possible. I quickly walked back to my house and set the remaining mail on the side table next to the couch. I walked into my office and sat down in my chair. I tore open the letter.

Please don’t tell the other guys. You have to promise me D. I saw your appearance on GMA the other morning. You guys looked so upset. I am sorry I have put all of you through this. It was the only way I could escape. I need a break D. I need to get away for a while. If I just said I was going to go away someone would have told me to “suck it up” but I can’t do that. I need to get away to clear my head, my thoughts just everything. This was the only way I knew I could get away with it. I probably shouldn’t even have written you. I just felt heartbroken watching you guys on GMA. Believe me D this was hard enough to do this. I just wanted to let you know I am ok. I am not hurt or anything. I am perfectly fine. Also, don’t come to try and find me. Nacho and I will come back when I am ready too.

-Nick

I let out a heavy sigh of relief. I was happy he was alive, but at the same time I am sad because everyone still thinks he is gone. I really had my doubts there for the longest time. He went through such a dark period during the Black and Blue days you never know what would come back to haunt you later on. Why would he write me and not Brian? I imagined it was because I tend to keep my promises when asked and I never break them. I sat there and thought of all the possibilities in my head. Should I tell them or should I not was the question. I leaned back in my chair and put my hands on the back of my head and just thought. I let out another heavy sigh. I will keep this promise to myself. I think it will be in Nick’s best interest. He obviously wants to work something’s out on his own. I won’t stop him. He doesn’t want to be stopped. If he wanted to he would have asked or come home. I got up from my chair. I folded up the letter and tucked it a way in a random book on the shelf. Out of sight and out of mind. Lord help me if someone ever found out that Nick was alive and I didn’t tell anyone.

I was officially out on the open road. It was just me and my most trusty side kick Nacho. I figured I would risk sending Howie that letter. The way the fella’s looked on Good Morning America practically broke my heart. I figured I could trust Howie. I know he is incredibly good at keeping secrets. There are so many things that the other guys don’t even know that only Howie knows and to this day only Howie knows. I know he is good for his word. I didn’t exactly know where I was going all I know is I wanted to go. I probably will most likely stick to the country. I loved Tennessee everything about the country made me happy. Lauren couldn’t stand it. I loved the peace and quiet it gave me. It made me able to think a lot clearer. I don’t think I would go to Tennessee though. They would look for me there; maybe a surrounding state? I knew once I got to where ever I was going I had a lot of steps to take. I need to find somewhere to live. I have to change my name. Saying hello my name is Nick Carter would just raise too many eyebrows and believe it or not there are not a lot of Nick Carter’s in the country. I need to blend in that’s for sure. I needed to be a regular down home person. I was bound and determined to be normal. I wanted to be treated different. I wanted to struggle like every other American out there. I have struggled but nothing like what I have seen. This seems crazy but people don’t realize it isn’t easy being famous either. There is always someone taking pictures and asking for autographs. I love the attention but after a while it just becomes annoying. I felt like I have been missing something. I have been in this business since I was just thirteen years old. I didn’t really have any kind of teenage years. Maybe I am just at a point in my life where singing wasn’t who I was anymore? I love my brothers and I love my fans dearly but I needed to find myself. I needed to become a different person. I feel this is the only way I can do so.

I looked over at Nacho who was sitting contently looking out the window. I saw a sign for a rest stop and I flipped my blinker on and got over in the next lane. I figured it was time for a potty break. We have been driving for quite some time now. I hadn’t quite figured out this whole unrecognized thing. So I just put on a hat and pray no one would see through me. I parked my car by the nearest dog area and shut it off. I grabbed his leash from the center console. “Alright boy lets go potty and get back out on the road,” I said to him as I clipped the leash to his collar. I got out of the car and Nacho followed on his leash. We walked over to the doggie area. Nacho seemed to be taking his sweet time of course,” Come on boy just go potty. We don’t have all day.” I probably looked like some crazy weird dude talking to my dog. He looked back at me and just gave me a look,” Fine just don’t take too long. I have to go as well.” Nacho pottered around for a few more seconds and went potty,” You’re such a good boy let’s go back to the car.” I patted him on the head and picked him up. I put him into the car. I headed up to the bathrooms so I could use it myself.

Upon walking out of the bathroom I saw a young woman trying to flag people down. As much as I didn’t want to stop I did.

“I am so sorry to bother you. I need some help with my car. I have been trying to flag someone down for the last few minutes but no one wanted to stop” I flashed a smile.

“I will try to help. I am not real car savvy” I explained.

“I just need a jump. It decided to die on me,” she explained.

“Sure let me go swing my car around,” I walked back over to my car. My good manners must be kicking in. This may sound terrible but I used to be one of those people who would have ignored her. I hate that person. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be the person just because I am famous I can do what I want. I want to be the person I was before I was really famous. I have done a lot of stuff in the past and I will be dammed if I go back to doing it now. I swung my car around and parked it next to hers.

“Thank you so much,” she said,” My name is Michelle by the way,”

“It’s not a problem. My name is Mitch” I think I have to contain myself from my laughter for a moment. Where in the world did I come up with that name? I went into my trunk and pulled out my jumper cables and proceeded to jump her car. The look on her face when her car started was priceless. She looked so relieved.

“Thank you again Mitch. I appreciate it. I am so late picking up my kids from day care it isn’t even funny. I am very glad you stopped.”

“Well you are very welcome.” She looked straight at me.

“This seems like a crazy question but do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar” I froze. She recognized me didn’t she?

“I get that a lot,” I replied,” I am just passing through on my way to visit my sick grandma in Tennessee. I was going to fly but it was cheaper for me to drive,” I lied. I just hope she bought it.

“Awe, I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope she gets well soon.”

“Me too” I smiled.

“Well I will let you get on the road again. You have a lot of driving a head of you. Thank you again”

“Again you are welcome. I hope your daycare center cuts you some slack.” She smiled as she got into her car. I got into my car and started it up. I looked at Nacho,” Boy that was close. We need to come up with a new game plan.”