Guys this is my first attempt at publishing something I have written. Hope you enjoy!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I was standing on the side of a cliff, watching the waves crashing onto the rocks below. It was a scene right out of a movie with the dark skies, the gusty wind, and the black waves meeting their death on the rocks. Lightening burst into the sky, lighting it up with such intensity.

My thoughts came rushing at me like a hammer to a nail. I felt so small compared to the weight being thrust upon me. My mind was spinning, making me dizzy with it’s memories. Had I actually shot my brother? I can’t remember completely, I ran out of there so quickly that my mind didn’t have time to catch up.

The bitter air was laughing at me, making me uneasy.

“Nick! Nick, snap out of it! It’s me AJ! Please Nick! Put the gun down!”

I shook my head viciously, the memory causing tears to pool into my eyes. I didn’t mean to do it.
AJ please forgive me. It wasn’t me. I couldn’t control myself. Please, please be alright.

I fell down onto my knees, my hands coming up to my face in pain. Tears streamed out of my eyes and I couldn’t control my anguish. How did I get into this mess? How did it get this far?

I was desperate to escape what had now become my life. The violence, the disputes, everything. I’m not like this! I’m not! Please AJ be okay. Please.

I frantically looked for a way out. I couldn’t live like this. I couldn’t live after killing my best friend. His fall replayed over and over in my mind’s memory, taunting me. I had to end it now.

I reached into my pocket, where the warm gun rested. The metal glimmered in the flashes of lightening that surrounded me. It was calling me, beckoning me to use it for the greater good. I held the object to my temple, knowing that with one pull of the trigger, it would all be over.

My fingers gripped the gun tightly, pulling on the trigger.

A loud burst of thunder, shook me to death and the world around me immediately went black.

Thanks Tori D for reviewing my story! That totally rocks!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Nick awoke startled from his dream. A cold sweat covered his body and the bed he was lying in. His mind was disoriented, but the dream was as real as the sun shining in the windows around him. He slowly returned to reality, noticing his surroundings.

“Man, that was a weird dream,” he sighed to himself, untangling his legs from the sheets on his bed in Marathon. He walked cautiously into the bathroom, afraid of tripping over the numerous items littering the floor.

He looked at his face in the mirror. The black bags under his eyes, the saddened nature of the blue hue. His skin was turning pasty from lack of sleep and sun. Even his hair had definite signs of depression. He turned away from the image and walked to the shower, letting the water warm, before he stepped in. His boxer-briefs fell to the floor along with his white t-shirt and he slid into the hot water and steam his shower often created.

The dream he had had plagued his thoughts throughout the shower. Most times, it would help to eliminate the problems, but this time, it was almost as it he was supposed to remember it. The dream was so vivid, plotting out exactly what was happening. He could still feel the cold wind against his skin and the soft rain drops that fell every few seconds. The sound of the waves were embedded in his ears. And all that was just the end. The things he didn’t want to remember, the coaxing of a gently female voice, the passionate sex they shared, and the lead up to the death of his band mate, also were a constant reminder of how real the dream was. The sex part wasn’t bad, he convinced himself, but he could feel her raw, evil hatred while he was inside her.

An hour passed before he realized it and he heard his alarm ringing incessantly in his bedroom. He quickly finished up his shower, shampooing his hair and washing his tired face, then got out and wrapped a towel around his waist.

He walked into his bedroom, his body still dripping from the shower, and flicked the alarm off. He needed to hurry and get dressed. His flight to Los Angeles was due to leave at 9:20 sharp, with or without him. He pushed the thoughts of his dream as far from his mind as possible as he set to packing and dressing for the long weekend ahead of him.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Nick stepped out of the plane and walked slowly down the corridor, knowing Jackie, his PR was supposed to meet him. The crowd of people around him were happily reuniting with loved ones. No one giving a care in the world that he was once a world famous musician. For that, he was ecstatic. He was normal.

He gave a smile to Jackie as he spotted her sipping coffee against a wall. She straightened herself when he approached.

“Ready for business, Carter?” she asked, beginning the walk to the baggage claim.

“Always,” he replied half-heartedly. Today was the first meeting with the guys and their new management company to negotiate a contract. Everyone was expected to be there. In fact, Brian had taken the Atlanta flight an hour before his.

After grabbing his suitcase, she led him to the awaiting car and they slid in. The driver introduced himself as Henry and was more than happy to be driving “Mr. Carter” around Los Angeles for the weekend. Nick just gave a half-hearted smile in return from the back seat and stared out the window of the all too familiar surroundings.

Thanks SweetAngelic Angel & AJsSweety for the reviews!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I was completely bored out of my mind at the meetings. They ran for five hours, drawing me closer and closer each time to plucking out my eyeballs in sheer boredom. I thought back to the dream, even though I really didn’t want to. I had to try and think about why it was so vivid, so real.

I resorted to doing what I had for so many years as a kid. The legal pad and pen in front of me hadn’t been touched by me in years. I felt like I was 15 again as I began pretending to listen, writing everything on my mind. I wrote everything that came to me from the dream. Beginning to end. From the moment I met this female voice, I still hadn’t seen her face or found her name, until the moment I killed myself, a single bullet through my temple.

I luckily finished just as the man, Robert, finished reading the contracts. Our lawyers stood close by, nodding almost enthusiastically at the requests and pay and everything else that went into our contracts. I honestly couldn’t tell you what any one of them were about.

“What do you say gentlemen?” Robert asked, sliding an official copy in Kevin’s direction, then to the rest of us.

“Mr. Grayson, consider yourself to have a deal,” Kevin replied in his usual “smooth” manner.

I took that as a go on signing the contracts handed to me. If Kevin agreed, then we all agreed. Before signing, I looked over at Brian who was signing his contract immediately. The others were all doing the same. I picked up my pen again and slathered my name on all the x’s. I dotted the I’s and crossed the t’s some would say.

It always was amazing to me that a little piece of paper could hold so many places for signatures and initials and we had 30 pages to go through. Luckily, everywhere they needed my signature, there was an x and a highlighted line. I thought my hand was going to fall off by the time I got to the last page. I handed my contract to Robert and he scooped them all up and placed them into his briefcase.

“It’ll be a pleasure working with you guys,” he said shaking each one of our hands.

After Mr. Grayson left the room, AJ spoke up. “Man, guys, I’m hungry. All these autographs really dug up an appetite.”

It was good to see that nothing in AJ had changed. Unfortunately, something inside of me kept me reserved, almost shy to go around him. I was afraid of hurting him. Even thought it was just a dream, I was scared it wasn’t in some way. Like a psychic vision. It was the most real dream I had ever experienced.

We decided to go to a restaurant to celebrate, Kevin chose, like usual and we all got into his Escalade and headed to the Italian place he knew up the street.

Once we were in the truck, I looked over what I had written. It came out as a story. Maybe it was just some whack job fan fiction I had read online in my younger years. It was so vivid, so familiar. It amazed me that I could write something that well, but I guess, when you have a good imagination, you can do anything artistic. I guess it didn’t hurt that I felt like it all happened yesterday.

“What’s that?” Brian asked, looking over my shoulder onto the yellow piece of paper. Brian always tried, even though everything was so different now, to be my best friend. He climbed over the seat like a child and sat in the empty one beside me, leaving AJ by himself in the back seat.

I handed him the pad of paper and he quickly read over the pages of handwriting. Good thing Kevin’s restaurant down the street was actually in a northern suburb of Los Angeles.

“What is that Nick?” Brian asked, concern written across his face. It was too detailed, to plotted, for him. He was actually alarmed that I might be plotting something against AJ.

“It was a dream. It was so real, so… I don’t know. I just can’t shake it. It’s almost as if I’m being warned that this is going to happen or something.”

“A premonition,” he replied quickly. The all knowing Brian comes up with something that only happens on Charmed.

“Man, do I look like Alyssa Milano? I don’t get premonitions.” I gave him a funny look, causing him to laugh.

“No, no. A premonition is just kind of a sixth sense. It’s just a warning of something that’s going to happen. It’s not a witchcraft thing.”

“Well, what do I do to stop this from happening?” I asked, eager to learn what Brian had to say about this topic. I always did have a deep longing to be him. I always looked up to him, from the time we met. Now wasn’t any different. He seemed to know everything.

“Just do the opposite of everything you do here,” he replied, tapping the paper. “But it was probably just one of those weird dreams that sticks with you.” He passed it off so quickly. Maybe I should, too. Maybe it was just a dream that is stuck in my head because it was so nightmarish.

Guys thanks sooooo much for the awesome reviews! Y'all are so great at motivation! Thanks!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It took me a month or so to finally wash the dream out of my system. During the month following the meeting, I wrote songs. One of them I titled “Premonition” and I was extremely proud of it. If the guys didn’t want it on their album, it was definitely going to be on my solo.

Also, during that month, I met a girl. I literally ran into her. I was pulling out of my driveway before checking both ways and I ran smack into the side of her new Saturn, caving in the back, passenger side door. I knew she was perfect for me the moment she stepped out of her car, recognized me, and proceeded to cussing me out, using every profane name in the book.

I stood there, smiling like an idiot, gazing over all of her features. Her long, straight, brown hair. Her sky blue eyes and the dimple she got every time she spoke. God, she must have thought I was mental or something, because she just kept ranting and raving, more so when she realized I wasn’t listening.

I actually leaned on the hood of my truck and wrote her out a check for $3000, knowing that the damage didn’t exceed $1500. Along with the check, I handed her my phone number and asked her if we could continue our conversation over dinner.

I was completely surprised when she called me the next day and we actually had a two-sided conversation. She told me she put her car in the shop. I told her mine was going in next week. She sincerely thanked me several times during that conversation for giving her such a considerable amount for damage control.

We met up that night for dinner and a movie. It was probably the best date I had ever been on. She was in no way taking advantage of me and flat out told me she was paying for dinner, saying it was the least she could do. Of course, though, I had the waiter slide the bill to me while she was in the restroom and I took care of it without her knowing.

As soon as she found out, she went to fighting with me about it being her responsibility. How she didn’t want to be dependant on a man to pay for dinner. I couldn’t even remember what else she had said in that speech, I wasn’t listening, just watching her, trying so hard not to laugh. She was so pissed, it was really cute.

My phone began ringing and I looked away from what I was writing in my journal. I know, I know, it’s girly for a man to keep a journal, but when AJ was going through rehab, we all took a class on dealing with an alcoholic, and they told us the best way to sort out your feelings was to write them out.

I got up from my place on the couch, wondering who in their right mind would be coming over in this storm. The rain pelted the northern windows and the thunder followed the lightening only a few short seconds behind.

“Erica, what are you doing here?” I asked, completely in shock to see her standing on my doorstep. She was soaking wet from head to toe.

“I had no where else to go,” she replied in a meek voice. I could tell she had been crying.

“Come in. Let me get you a towel.” I quickly walked upstairs to the bathroom and grabbed her a couple towels. When I returned, she was still standing in the doorway, a lost expression trapped in her blue eyes. I didn’t know what to do. I was the last one anyone came to with problems.

“Thanks,” she whispered, her head down as she took a towel from me and began drying herself off.

I ushered her into the living room and made her sit down on the couch. I wasn’t at all concerned about the effect her wet clothes would have on my couch, I only cared for one thing at that moment, and that was her and why she was here in the condition she was in. I knelt down in front of her to try and look her in the eye. She hadn’t lifted her head since she arrived and I was sincerely worried.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I asked, using my hand to push back her hair from her face.

“I- I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, her voice thick with tears. I did the only thing I knew how to do. I sat down on the couch next to her, wrapped my arms around her shaking body, and held her tight as she cried on my shoulder.

After a while, her tears subsided and her breathing evened out. She pulled away from me and looked me directly in the eyes. Even with her make up smeared and her hair messy and damp, she was still beautiful to me.

“Are you okay?” I whispered, afraid of sending her to tears again.

“I don’t know yet.” Her voice was hoarse and almost whispered. “Can we just not talk about it, please?” Her eyes pleaded with me, as did her voice and I could tell, right then and there, that I was completely taken with her. I would do anything in my power to make her happy.

“What’s your favorite movie?” I asked, immediately changing the subject for her benefit. I knew with my movie library, that I most likely had the movie she loved the most.

She smiled slightly at me, knowing that I was trying. “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

“Good, I have that one. Have you eaten anything lately?” She shook her head, no. “What would you like? I’ve got hamburger helper, some frozen chicken thingys, some frozen dinners, cereal, eggs, pancake mix…” I stood up, ready to get anything she requested. “We could always order pizza or Chinese or something.”

“Pizza’s good,” she replied with a small smile. The sky blue was returning to her eyes, replacing the dark, troubled hue she had possessed upon arrival.

I walked out of the room and ordered pizza from my favorite pizza place, then returned to her side. “Pizza will be here in about 30 minutes, is that ok?” I asked, making sure she wasn’t extremely hungry. I had spoken to the delivery boy that would deliver my pizza and told him if he brought it before the 30 minutes were up, I’d throw in a $20 tip. When she nodded, I went to my television and fumbled with my DVD player until I finally got it working, then put in the movie of her choice.

We spooned on the couch, my arms wrapped securely around her. The doorbell rang a few minutes after we got settled and Erica was already asleep. I cautiously climbed over the back of the couch and ran to the door, paid for the pizza and the big tip, then went back into the living room.

“Erica,” I whispered, moving some of her now dry, blonde hair out of her face. “Erica, sweetie, the pizza’s here.”

She opened her eyes and looked at me, slightly confused at her surroundings. “Oh, pizza. Thanks.” She sat up and gave me another half smile.

We ate in silence, mostly I was afraid of bringing her to tears again.

After that day, we were inseparable. I asked her to move in after finding out that her aunt, whom she was living with, had passed away, leaving her with nothing, besides her unbearable younger cousins. I went with her to the funeral and immediately following, we moved all of her things to my house. I was so excited to have her there with me. It was going to give me a lot more opportunities to get to know her better. I didn’t even think that she could be the cause of my downfall.

Thanks guys again for the awesome reviews! Enjoy!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Nick,” she called, tears filling her eyes. “He was hitting on me. He wouldn’t stop grabbing me.”

My face flushed in anger towards the man I had called my brother for so many years. I couldn’t believe he had crossed the line with her. My anger was evident as I continuously clenched and unclenched my fists. “I’m going to kill him,” I whispered, eyeing the door down the hall.

“Nick, please, not now,” she rushed, her eyes growing wide at discovering how much control she had over me. She stepped towards, me and placed her hands on my shoulders, turning me to face her. “Please, leave it alone for now.”

My eyes dropped to hers and they softened as I hid the anger I was feeling. She was right. I couldn’t do anything now. It would have to wait, but I swear, if he ever lays his eyes on her again, he’s going to wish he hadn’t.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I woke up, anger overcoming my senses. Another dream, this time, it ended so quickly that I didn’t see AJ being killed by my hand, but I was so overpowered with anger towards him that I was just about ready to kill him.

What’s wrong with me? I can’t think like that. Maybe Brian was right and this is some sort of premonition. This is the third night in a row that I’ve dreamt of being angry towards AJ. This time, I found out why I had such a strong hatred towards the man.

I thought back to the girl in my dream. She still was a fuzzy memory, but the voice was becoming a little clearer, a little more familiar, but I was still unable to put a face to it.

Erica stirred beside me before falling back asleep. I pulled the comforter around her bare shoulders and kissed her sweetly on the cheek before getting out of bed. I needed to do something to clear my head. This dream seemed to consume me and I had gotten to the point that I wanted to kill my best friend. That’s not the realization you want to wake up to in the early morning hours.

I padded down stairs and flipped on the television. It always worked before. I had to stop myself from thinking these thoughts. Brian’s words echoed in my head. Do the opposite of what you did here. Do the opposite. What was the opposite? I wasn’t sure anymore. Was I living this event now? Or was it decades in the future. How are you supposed to tell that kind of thing?

What if Erica is the girl that keeps taunting me to stick up for myself? I shook my head at that. She was too perfect, too kind. There was no way her sweetness would be able to coax me into murdering somebody. Besides, she loved the guys. She loved my family. She loved everyone she came in contact with. There was no one person she didn’t like. I then ruled out Erica as being the girl in the dream. So it couldn’t have been now. I could relax.

I had sat silently for three hours coming up with that. By the time I told myself to relax and forget about it, the sky outside was becoming lighter. I still couldn’t help but wonder, though, why was I getting these dreams?

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, I've been extremely sidetracked with the whole Superbowl/Tom Brady/Playoffs thing. I can't believe I met him! Anyways, thanks guys for the reviews and I hope you like the new chap!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I stared blankly out of the plane window, unable to sleep in fear of having yet another dream. Every night in the past month, I had a dream. This time, it was more in actual time, playing out until the end. One night I would dream a whole day’s worth of events, the next would be yet another day in the dream world.

I looked beside me. Erica was sound asleep, using one of the airplane pillows. That was reason number two that I couldn’t sleep. I had no idea how the guys were going to react to me bringing Erica with me to Sweden. We always had an unspoken agreement that no girlfriends or wives were allowed to accompany us to the studio, but right now, I had to have her. I needed her. She was my lifeline in so many ways at the moment. Even though, she had no clue about my nightmares, she also had no clue that she was the only reason I would go to sleep at nights. She was my security blanket.

If anyone would understand that, it would be Brian. I’d have to speak with him first, before the other guys saw her. He’d stand up for me.

The moment we stepped off the plane, I felt a strong urge to kiss the ground I was walking on. I always hated flying. I was so stricken with jet lag that I felt as though I was going to throw up. I was exhausted from staying awake for 16 hours. My head felt fuzzy and I felt like I was spinning in circles.

Thankfully, Erica held onto my arm the entire walk through the airport, keeping me standing upright. It had to have been the worst jet lag I had ever experienced in all my years traveling. I looked through the crowds until I finally spotted my body guard, Rick. I almost didn’t recognize him. I hadn’t seen him since my pre-solo years. I high-fived him, introduced him to Erica, and we were on our way to the baggage claim. For once in my lifetime, I was informed that I was the first one to arrive in Sweden. Yes! Victory!

We got to the hotel and almost the second I laid down on the bed, I fell into a comfortable sleep, all the while, Erica bustled around the room, hanging clothes and putting them in drawers.

After what seemed like five minutes, a knock sounded on the door, waking me up and leaving me groggy. I hugged the figure next to me, then got up. I peeped through the hole and smiled when I recognized Brian’s goofy face staring back at me.

“Hey man,” I smiled, letting him into the room, telling him to be quiet. We walked across the room to the couch and we sat down.

“Who’s the girl?” Brian whispered, gazing at Erica asleep on the bed.

“That’s Erica, my girlfriend. You remember that dream I told you about?”

“Yeah. Is that still bothering you?” His eyes grew wide with concern. It had been 3 months since I had the first dream.

“Well, for a while they stopped, but now, I have those stupid dreams every night. I don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore. Before she moved in with me, I wouldn’t go to sleep, I couldn’t make myself. She’s the only reason I go to sleep now. I know Kev and the guys are gonna be pissed at me for bringing her, but do you think you could maybe legitimize her staying?”

“Legitimize?” He looked at me like I had grown another head. I was beginning to rethink my choice of words. I knew better than using a word like that around him. “You want me to explain to the guys that she helps you think?”

“Yeah, something like that. Thanks Bri.” We continued to talk quietly for a while longer, updating each other on our lives.

As he left, he reminded me about our group dinner in the hotel restaurant taking place in two hours. He left it up to me whether or not I wanted to bring Erica.

“Good to see ya again,” I said, walking him out the door. “I’ll see ya in a few hours.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to the guys. See ya later.”

I closed the door behind him and went to lay back down beside Erica, hugging her close to my body. I twisted her hair around my fingers and rubbed circles across her back. I knew I had fallen head over heels for her and I would do practically anything in my power to ensure her safety. I hoped and prayed that the guys would accept her into our circle. Especially since I was breaking one of our rules by bringing her with us.