He looked over at her small body and felt the same sadness he had felt since he first saw her. He quickly grabbed a blanket from the back-seat and wrapped her in it.

"AJ?" Her voice whispered, so afraid, so alone.

"Shh, it's going to be all right now, I'm here." He lightly kiss her forehead. His hand drifted to her swollen stomach and sighed. AJ rub his eyes and made his way to the drivers seat. His heart hanging low. He drove her to the hospital, Tyler really had did a number on her this time. Every now and then he would make a quick glance at her to see the pain across her face. Cars honked at him and mutter swears where used as he raced on.

**Flashback**

"Tyler please!" Kathryn cried.

"Tyler please." He mocked her. "What makes you think you don't deserve this!?"

"I love you." She whispered but he just laughed harshly and yanked up her hair.

"That's to bad because you know what!" He yelled into her ear. " I...don't...love...you." His words stung her in places she never knew she had. "You where just a little toy, and I'm tired of playing with you...you mean nothing to me." He threw her to the floor.

"You don't mean that..y-you don't." She backed up into a corner and cried.

"I have never been more serious in my life! You should have known! How the hell do you expect us to have a relationship in the first place when your with that Backstreet boy all the time!" He came running towards her, his fist making contact with her already busied face. He kicked her repeatedly. "And that!" He motioned to her stomach. "Is not mine."

**End Of Flashback**

AJ sat in the waiting room, silently crying as the doctors did all they could for her. She had drifted in and out several times in the car. He wanted to call the guys but was afraid that it he let for a minute he would miss something. He waited a few minutes before rising from his seat, it didn't even feel like he was the one moving till he looked up into a pair of deep green eyes.

"Kev..." He started to say but was interrupted with tears, tears that where his own. "I should have been there for her." He cried. "I should have made her leave him..I should...I should have..." The rest of the guys stood there giving their friend comfort in his time of need.

"She's going to be all right J, you have to look on the bright side...you here now." Brian soft voice calmed AJ's tears but he couldn't help but feel his own burning his eyes. "We know you love Kat, we all do...she needs us...she needs you, she needs our strength." As Brian finished he turned his head to the approaching doctor.

"How did you know?"

"Well," Howie started. "I came over to see if you wanted to do something and when I got there your front door was open."

"He got worried and called me." Nick piped in. "I told him you where probably with Kat."

"I stopped by there and saw...." A stray tear fell down Howie's cheek. "The house was a mess."

"We called everywhere for you guys..."

"Nick used his charm to find out you where here on the secretary." Kevin joked and AJ smiled.

"I-I know you'd be good for something one day Carter." He offered a weak smile.

"Are you here for a..." The doctor looked down at his form. "Miss. Kathryn Donaly?" AJ wiped his eyes and spoke up.

"Yes..is she ok? Can I see her?" He asked in a small voice, hoping she was all right.

"Well, she did suffer a huge amount of blood, we gave her a blood transfusions, she's damaged two of her ribs but they should heal...now...are you aware of Miss. Donaly's pregnancy?" The guys all turned to AJ as he looked back at the other guys.

"Pregnant?"

"Yes," The doctor shook his head. "Eight months...you didn't notice?"

"Tonight was the first time I had seen her in a while." AJ sighed. Pregnant? He thought to himself.

"Did you or are you the father?" AJ shook his head no.

"Why? Is something wrong with the baby?" Kevin asked. "Are they ok?" By then another doctor came up.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Janise." The middle age lady offered a small smile and shook hands with the others. "I take it your Mr. McLean?" She motioned towards AJ and he nodded.

"Good. Mrs. Donaly has been asking for you...please follow me please." She began to walk off. AJ looked at the rest of the guys and the other doctor fill them in on what was happening. He sighed and followed the lady down the hall and to the right. As he passed the doors he saw many people in beds, some laughing and talking some sleeping. He came back to reality when the doctor stopped. "This is it." She said softly. Before she left his side she gave him hand a little squeeze. AJ thanked her and watched her walk off, he then returned his attention back to her door...placed his hand on the knob and turned slowly....

"Kat?" AJ whispered and shut the door. The only light on in the whole room was the bathroom light, with the door slightly cracked.

"AJ?" Her voice carried to him so soft that he almost couldn't hear it. He took a breathe that he had be holding since he saw her back at the house. "Come here, please." She pleaded. AJ took a spare chair and placed it beside Kathryn's bed. Even though it was fairly dark in the room she could tell he was crying.

"Kat...I thought..."

"Shhh..." She comforted him and he laid his head on her as he cried, making sure not to cause her anymore pain.

"Why didn't you tell me...about the baby?" He asked into her gown.

"I'm sorry." She felt the tears start again. "I was scared...I didn't want to complicate your life anymore Alex, you've been through so much the past year with rehab and Sarah..." She drifted off. "I didn't want to be added to you list of regrets." AJ looked up at her.

"The only place your in is here." He pointed to his chest. "My heart...my soul...god my everything." He kissed her cheek.

"I know, but Alex listen to me." She took a deep breath. "I'm not going to make it." AJ looked up at her confused.

"What? What are you talking about Kat? The doctor said..!" Kat placed a soft finger upon AJ's lips.

"I wanted to be the one to tell you." She sighed, her eyes feeling heavy.

"Kat?"

"You have to be strong for our daughter." Kathryn whispered.

"You mean it's..." Kat smiled confirming it, AJ placed a smile on his face.

"I don't understand Kat? why is god being so unkind...w-we have a family now." Kathryn smiled and kissed AJ's lips. "I need you here."

"He's not being unkind Alex, it's my time to go." Her words echoed in him ears. Kathryn closed her eyes for a short while trying to relax. "Your going to find someone Alex trust me."

"I c-can't...I won't!" Kathryn sighed.

"That's exactly what you can't think." She opened her eyes. "I know right now that this seems like the end of the world to you but you still have another woman to live for...two when she comes and she will....she will."

AJ bolted out of his bed, sweat running down his face. "It was a dream." He whispered into the darkness. "You'd think after three years I'd be somewhat over this." AJ mumbled as he looked around to see that he was in his room...alone. He sighed as he pilled the sheet from around him and made his way into the bathroom. He passed the mirror and took a hard look at himself. "It was a dream." He repeated. AJ slowly shook his head and headed out of the bathroom to a room down the hall. He opened the door and smiled as he stepped fully in, shutting it behind him. He walked over to the bed to see his angel, the only one he did live his life for these days. The being stirred and rubbed it's eyes trying to see who the shadow was.

"Daddy?" Her little voice asked.

"Yeah it's me sweetpea." AJ sighed and sat on the bed next to her.

"What's wrong? Did the monsters wake you up to dada?" He smiled.

"No...how many times do I have to tell you?" He smiled and motioned for her to come closer. "I sent all the monsters to Uncle Nicky's house." The little girl let out a small giggle and shook her head, letting out a small yawn. AJ held the little girl in his arms till she drifted back to sleep. He tucked her in, kissed her forehead and made his way downstairs.

The cool wooden floors greeted AJ as he reached the bottom of the stairs, light rain could be heard tapping against the kitchen window. AJ slowly reached and opened the closet door picking up an old dusty book. Sighing he closed the door behind him and made his way to the kitchen. Without turning on the light he sat in any emty chair tracing the desings of the book that held so many lost memories, ones he'd kill to forget and yet those he struggles to remember.

"I need you." He whispered, the rain falling was his only answer. He slowly opened the book only to be met by her smiling face. "Kat.." Each page reminded him of what he could never have again, or so he thought. "I'm n-not strong enough to do this and I should be." He thought to himself as he turned the page. "What I wouldn't give for a drink right now." He mumbled and felt guilty as soon as it left his lips. Slaming the book close in anger he threw it back into the closet along with all her other memories he couldn't excape. He sat on the floor staring at the closet door for the longest time letting his tears consum him. After pulling himself together he climed the stairs once more stopping by Jenna's room to find her sleeping peacfully he sighed, she had no memory whatsoever of her mother, nothing but pictures and stories where given to her. AJ stepped into his room leaving the door a jar so he could listen for Jenna and laid across his bed.

~*~*~*~*~

"Holy..."

"Well good morning to you to." Kayce laughed as AJ mummbled something about coffee. "Downstairs on the table." She ploped down on the bed. "Ya know, you should really get up." AJ uncovered his head causing Kayce to laugh at his wild hair.

"Give me one reason why?"

"It's such a pretty day out!"

"That's nice." He re-buried his head in his pillow.

"AJ!" She wined.

"Kayce!" He mocked. He waited for a minute or two before he sat up. "Happy?"

"Very." She beamed.

"You dropped Jenna off at school right?" He slowly rubbed his eyes.

"Jenna?" AJ froze and looked at her.

"My daughter?"

"I was supposed to take her today?"

"Yes! God Kay, I asked you yesterday..and now.."

"I didn't know you signed the poor thing up for class' on a Saturday, what kind of father are you?" She laughed.

"It's Saturday?" AJ sighed relief as Kayce nodded her head in amusment.

"Shocking isn't it?" She joked and AJ went to kiss her cheek but she pulled back.

"What?" He asked puzzled.

"You...toothbrush...now!" She giggled and AJ laughed, getting up he streched and made his way to the bathroom. After a shower he came out freah and dressed.

"Kay?"

"Downstairs!" She yelled in mid-giggle. AJ came down the stairs to find Jenna sitting on the floor playing with her leapfrog books.

"Hi daddy!" She smiled and ran to AJ. He kissed her forehead and gave her a hug.

"Morning sweets....did you sleep alright?" He asked as he put her down and she ran into the kithen.

"Yep yep!" She stopped and looked back at AJ with thougth. "But i'm not sure I can say the same for Uncle Nicky." The little girl laughed and hugged Kayce, who was on the phone, then ran back into the living room singing. "Leapfrog...leapfrog..."

AN: Thanks Sassy for the reviews :-D More to come soon!

"Yeah I'm sure." She said to the person. AJ smiled and went to pour himself a cup when Kayce pointed to one sitting on the counter. "Yep." AJ kissed her on the cheek and she smiled, giving him the thumbs up, he then got his cup and sat down at one of the stools while Kayce wraped up her conversatin and came to sit down next to him.

"Who was that?" He asked playing with his spoon.

"Your mom, she just called to check up on ya." She smiled.

"Woo! I got another one!" Jenna yelled, excitely from the living room.

"What would I do without you?"

"Your own laundry." Kayce joked and they laughed.

"True." AJ half smiled at her, she reminded him so much of Kat it wasn't even funny. Not her appearence but her spirit. They had met eighteen months after Kat's death, Kevin had tried to set them up but AJ wasn't ready to start a relationship and Kayce respected that, so they evoved into friends. Jenna was far to attached to Kayce for her to leave and AJ liked having her around so she moved in as kinda his live in babysitter. Kayce didn't mind at all for she to found herself in love with Jenna...who wouldn't be?

"So what's on the agenda today?"

"Nothing to stressfull." AJ sighed and grabbed a muffin. "Can you pass me the..." Kayce passed him the butter. "Think you know me pretty well do we?" AJ smiled, spreading the contents on the muffin.

"Ugh! More then I want to sometimes." She giggled.

"Yeah..yeah." AJ smirked and took a sip of his coffee quickly spiting it back out. "You didn't put anything in it." AJ wiped his mouth.

"Now I told you coffee was downstairs, that it was on the table...no where in those two senteses did I mention fixing it for you." She giggled.

"Your evil...just plan evil." He smiled.

"Spank you!"

"Later." AJ joked and fixed his coffee. He looked back and saw Kayce taking a peice of his muffin. She was beautifull, no argument there. She was 5'5, gray eyes and raven hair, she was a little over adverage weight for a woman. "More cushion for the pushin." She'd always say. She always made AJ laugh even when he felt he couldn't, she was a great friend.

"Kay?" Jenna came bouncing into the kitchin with her book.

"Yeah?"

"Are we still going?"

"Going where?" AJ asked and placed his empty cup in the sink.

"Nope, we no tell you daddy." Jenna giggled.

"And why not?" He smiled.

"Because we're having a girls day daddy." Kayce laughed.

"Yeppers! No boys allowed."

"Fine." AJ laughed. "I can tell when I'm not wanted." Jenna studied him for a minute and ran into his arms.

"Don't worry daddy, I still love you." She opened her little arms and wide as she could. "This much.."

"Ditto." Jenna hopped down from AJ's arms, slipped on her sandels and waited for Kayce.

"Don't worry yourself to much daddy." Kayce joked. "We'll be back around lunch or so and we'll pick up your favorite." She smiled, kissed his cheek and was out the door. AJ got up and watched them till they where out of sight. He sighed...the happy mask was down, he didn't have to pretend anymore. The past months had been total hell for him. The ablum and a unfinished tour where breathing down his back and being a parent was stressfull, not that he didn't love Jenna, he did but sometimes he wondered if he was good enough for her. To the public he was fine, he was better. He had gotten help and solved all his problems and that was true for a time but after Kat died he fell apart but not enough so anyone would notice. He knew he had to keep it together but it was getting harder everyday.

"Live for Jenna..." He whispered. "Live for Jenna."

AN: Please leave a review, the ones I've gotten have been wonderful *grin* thanx you guys! :-D More to come soon!

"You know it's times like these where I'm reminded that you are very much your father's daughter." Kayce giggled as she lead a hyper Jenna through the front door while trying to carry a few bags.

"And that's the way...un huh un huh I likes it un huh un huh." Jenna sang off-tune."

"Yep, no doubt in my mind your Alex's spawn."

"What's a pawn? Like on a checker board?" Jenna asked causing Kay to laugh.

"No sweets, don't worry about it." Jenna looked at her for a minute as if in deep thought then ran to the living room.

"Daddy!"

"In here sweetpea." AJ called from his spot on the couch, he quickly turned off the T.V. "Hey." He greeted the tiny child, opening his arms to her.

"Are you okay dada?" Jenna asked holding what she could of Alex's face in her small hands. "You look sad." Kayce stopped in the door and watched the two. He did indeed look sad and she wondered what had changed his mood in the last few hours.

"Naw, I'm okay love...just a little tired." AJ faked a yawn. "Did you eat yet?" He asked begging the subject to change and she allowed it.

"Yep! Kay took me to Mickey D's and looks!" She pulled out a toy barbie. "They gave me this." She smiled proudly.

"Wow!" AJ studied the doll for a moment trying to look interested which brought a smile to Kayce's face. "What did you name her?"

"Kayce."

"Kayce? Are you sure you want to name it that!" AJ joked.

"Hey!" A whine came from the door. "I resent that!" She joked and came to sit with the pair.

"I'm sure you do." He poked her side.

"Look at ya! Always got something to say right Jenna?" And she nodded. AJ looked between the two in disbelief.

"Double teamed today am I?"

"Hon, try everyday." Jenna giggled at the two. "We just like to pretend you win sometimes so you won't feel so bad." She winked at Jenna.

"Well, aren't you two angels." He smirked.

"And don't you forget it mister!"

"Yeah...yeah...I can take a hint." The three laughed. "Now if you ladies are done shooting my horse I think I'll go find that Mickey D bag." He kissed their cheeks and headed to the kitchen.

"Daddy I didn't know you had a horse?" Kayce giggled.

"Let's go and hang up you new clothes ok?"

"Okay, on one condition though..."

"And that would be?" Kayce gathered up the bags from the doorway.

"Piggyback ride!" She grin and Kayce looked at her scared.

"Sweets I don't think she can give you one right now, with all those bags in her hands, unless we promise to take her to the hospital afterwards." AJ laughed at the site, chewing on a fry.

"I'm glad you find this ever so funny McLean."

"Well, if your glad then I'm glad." He smirked.

"Charmer."

"Why of course." He placed a giggling Jenna on his back, grabbed most of the bags from Kayce and they headed upstairs. After hanging up clothes and putting toys away Kayce laid Jenna down for a nap. After about a half hour of laundry she went to find AJ in his room deep in thought.

"Hey you." She whispered, half smiling as AJ turned to greet her.

"Hey." He sighed.

"What's up?" She absently played with one of his rings on his night stand.

"Nothing just racking my brain on this song I've been working on."

"Can I hear it? Maybe I could help."

"Naw, not that I don't want your help it's just a tune I've been working on...I can't seem to put it into words."

"I'm sure you'll get it soon." She pecked his cheek causing him to smile.

"Your wonderful you know that?"

"Duh! This is me where talking about." Kayce joked and AJ rolled his eyes.

"Cocky are we Kayce Ann?"

"Well,..." She sighed and headed for the door. "I'm proud to say I've learned from the best."

"And what does that mean?" AJ called to her but was only answered by her floating laughter. "Woman." He smiled and placed his notebook back on his desk. It didn't seem as though he would have anymore lucky then he normally had. "Tomorrow's another day J." Kat's words floated through the air. AJ rubbed the back of his neck in frustration, was it ever going to get easier?

AN: Please leave a review, thanks! :-)

"Daddy...daddy!" AJ cracked one eye open to find Jenna holding up a paper. "Looks what I made dada!" She beamed while AJ smiled, yawning a bit.

"Let's see." He rubbed his eyes, trying to get a good look at the drawing. "And who would this be?"

"It's you!"

"Me?" Jenna nodded causing AJ to chuckle. He studied the drawing for a while and kissed Jenna's forehead. "Beautiful sweets."

"Looks daddy." She pointed out all his tattoos. "I even drawed all your paintings."

"Your mean drew hunny."

"Like I said...drawed." Jenna playfully rolled her eyes. "You need to get out more." Her little hand poked AJ's side.

"Hey!" He laughed. "in less you want the tickle monster to come out..."

"Otay." She giggled and headed downstairs. AJ shook his head and stretched, he couldn't believe he had fallen asleep there on his desk all night. As he stood he felt a blanket fall off him, attached to it was a short note.

Hey sleepy head, I came back in here last night to check up on ya and you where already knocked out! I would have moved ya to the bed but your to heavy, never thought anyone would say that! I'm just playing...night love."

AJ placed the note on his desk and made his way to the shower. Coming out he heard laughter like he did every other morning. This was one of the things that always started his day off right.

"Fighting crime, trying to save the world...here they come just in time, the Powerpuff Girls." Jenna bounced in her seat eating Apple Jacks.

"Morning all." AJ beamed but was quickly shh'd by Jenna. "Morning." He whispered, grinning, heading into the kitchen. "Hello gorgeous." AJ kissed Kayce's cheek and sat down at the table. "You must be in one of your moods." He smirked.

"One of my moods?" She asked and set two hot plates of breakfast on the table. "How so?"

"You seem really quite that's all." He turned his attention back to his food. "No one can cook like you Kay." He said, placing a mouth full of eggs in his mouth. Kayce smiled a bit when he realized that they where still hot, she handed him a cup of OJ to help it down. AJ thanked her and he wondered why she was being so distant all of a sudden.

"Did something happen?" That was all it took, Kayce took her untouched food and placed in on the counter, anyway to get away from him at the moment. "Kace?" He slowly stood and went to her. "What's wrong?" He turned her around but she refused to meet his eyes for if she did he would see nothing but tears. "Hey." He said gently and raised her chin to look at him. Deep...dark brown eyes, the kind you seem to lose yourself yet find yourself it. "Kayce what's wrong?"

"Your going to think this is really really stupid and that I shouldn't be getting upset over something like this." She tried to move but AJ held her, wiping away stray tears he gave her a soft smile.

"Nothing that makes you cry is stupid...everything about you is important and you should know that." He kissed both of her eye lids. "Now." He sighed. "Tell papa bear what's wrong." He joked and was pleased when she cracked a smile.

"Elmo's here." Kayce couldn't help but giggle at AJ's face.

"Elmo?"

"Elmo." She stated matter-of-factly. "You know that thing every one of the female population gets once..."

"Ok!" AJ held up his hands causing Kayce to laugh. "No further details are needed."

"I'm very touchy and emotional, you should know that by now Alex." Kayce smiled.

"Yeah." He laughed. "I'll have to stay clear of ya." He ducked as Kayce threw the dish towel at him. AJ stuck his tongue at her playfully causing Kayce to roll her eyes. "You know you want this." He laughed.

"Ha! That's a good one." Kayce turned her full attention to a smirking AJ.

"Denial, my dear, is not a river in Egypt."

"God your unbelievable."

"Most women seem to say that but with a slight high pitch in their voice."

"Wow. Your mother must be very proud." Kayce laughed and made her way around him. "Jenna?" She looked in the living room but the small child was no where to be found. "Jenna?" She asked with more alert in her voice. "Where are you?"

"Jenna?" AJ called as he to walked into the living room. "Sweetpea this isn't funny where are you?" Kayce took the stairs with AJ close behind. "Jenna?"

"Jenna?" They searched every room, including hers. "God." Kayce sighed entering her room. She looked puzzled for a moment and slowly made her way to her bed.

"Kayce...."

"Shh..." She pointed and AJ followed her gaze to the small body laying in the comfort of the blankets. "She couldn't hear us, she's sleep." Kayce smiled, gently caressing the child's hair. AJ smiled in content at the scene, to anyone else it would look like mother and daughter. He was lucky to have these two and he thanked god everyday...but he wasn't all right...and deep down he knew it.

"Well, well, look what the cat drugged in." Kristen smiled as she opened the door for Kayce.

"How's it hanging." Kayce hugged her old friend. "Is he still getting it up?"

"You already know it." She joked.

"Will you two quit it already! Your making me sick." AJ hoffed and made his way to the living room.

"No one forced you to come, hell no one asked you to."

"Can it barbie!" AJ threw at her.

"Yeah, nice to see you too freak!"

"Bitch!"

"Slut!"

"You should talk!" AJ laughed and Kristen flicked him off.

"I will never understand for the life of my why you and Alex hate each other so damn much." Kayce laughed and followed Kristen into the living room.

"Ah, he's just a little sore I got to Nicky before he could." She smirked at the death glare AJ sent to her. "You know, all that time on the road and he gets a little lonely."

"Ain't nothing little over here sweetie." AJ muttered and Nick appeared in the door way, a playful smile drew his lips. "One word Nick and I swear..." Nick held his hand up in defense, taking a chair by the window.

"Hey where's Jenna?"

"School." AJ laughed as he remembered this morning. "She was excited about finger painting today in art class." Nick shook his head. "She's growing up so fast Nick...it seems like it was only yesterday I brought her home..." His voice drifted.

"Doesn't it though." Nick smiled. "If my memory serves me right I said hi to the little butterball and she..."

"Threw up on you." AJ finished laughing.

"I still can't get the stain out." Nick joined him.

"Just something to remember her by."

"Something to remember her by." Nick softly repeated. "That's the last of that little ones worries, to be forgotten, for once she's touched your life your captivated by her."

"Hmm." AJ sighed playing with his rings. "Besides you guys and music she's the only thing in my life that's worth something. After Kat that it..."

"Yeah." Nick felt bad for his friend. "You want to talk about this J?"

"I guess I should, Dr. Young told me that I should try to talk about it." Nick nodded. "It's just...some days I'm ok but others I feel like I'm going in every direction, that my skin is the only thing keeping me in tack, it's exhausted." AJ rubbed the back of his neck in frustration.

"What about Jen and Kay?" Nick asked after a while and watched sorrow wash away from his brother's face.

"Two reasons why I'm still here Nick."

"You haven't been thinking about..."

"Nick it would be so damn easy to pick up that bottle again and drown this pain, it really would." Nick looked at his friend in disbelief. "Old Jack was calling to be a couple of nights ago and I mean really calling but I stopped myself, I stopped myself from making the same mistake I've been through times and times again."

"I'm proud of you man." Nick offered a small smile. "I'm glad you where stronger then those demons."

"I wish I could say the same." AJ hoffed. "You remember when I was about to marry Sarah and I started drinking again?" Nick nodded.

"Yeah why?"

"That was around the time Kat and I started....'being together' and stuff. She would always beg me to stop and to go back for more help but I was convinced that they couldn't, hell if they couldn't fix me the first time why even bother with a next?"

"What about..."

"She was born with a high tolerance of alcohol and it's all my fault."

AN: And there you have it, ch. 6. ch. 7 will be along soon! so please update and review! Thanks!

"Daddy!" Jenna yelled as she spotted AJ. He smiled and scooped her up in his arms.

"Did you have fun today sweetie?" He asked as he kissed her all over her face causing her to giggle.

"That tickles dada."

"It does?" He mocked shocked.

"Yeppers." Jenna beamed and put her forehead to his. "Don't be sad, I still love you dada." AJ smiled and sighed.

"Good." He opened the door and locked her seat belt. "You had me worried for a second there." He made a goofy face and Jenna poked him in his side.

"Hey." AJ laughed closing the door and making his way to the divers side.

"Where's Kay dada?"

"She's at home helping Kevin with some tour business sweetie." He answered and pulled into traffic.

"Ohh." Jenna sat for a minute. "Does that mean your going to go back on that gray bus again?" AJ laughed.

"Yeah but not for sometime now."

"Why?" She asked turning to him, her brown eyes reflected his own as he stole a quick glance at her.

"Well..." He thought putting his words together. "Something's happened and we wont finish this tour but on the next we'll go see the ones who missed out first."

"Do they get their moneys back?" AJ smiled at his daughter.

"Yes hun, they get their moneys back." Jenna sighed and looked out the window. "Sweetie what do you think of Kayce?" He asked after some time.

"I love her lots daddy." Jenna beamed.

"Yeah, me to." AJ smiled and pulled into his driveway. After gathering up Jenna and her book bag they made it to the door and inside. "Kays?" AJ called, placing his keys on the hook. Jenna took for the stairs.

"I go do my homework daddy." AJ smiled.

"Kays?" He looked around and found her laying on the couch fast asleep. A smile played on his lips and he gently brushed wild strains of hair away from the silk that made her face. "She looks so cute." He thought to himself and removed her glasses. She stirred a bit but didn't awaken, he moved some of the papers from her lap. "For the tour." he thought. AJ sat there for an hour and he wasn't sure why. He loved being around Kayce, she brought a silent peace to his life as well as Jenna. Granted she was far from being a super model he found all her imperfections beautiful.

"Hey." A soft voice broke him from his thoughts and he looked down at Kayce's once sleeping form.

"Hey." He returned her tone. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay." She slowly rubbed her eyes. "I should get up anyway." She looked at the clock and it read 4:15. "I have to start diner." She went to get up but AJ stopped her.

"Let me." He smiled and Kayce looked at him weird. "What?" AJ grinned at her expression. "I can cook."

"Alex..."

"What? I can." Kayce shook her head with a slight laugh. "I might burn something on occasion but I'm a good cook."

"Sweetie you burn everything."

"Noo..."

"Yes..." She mocked him causing him to pout.

"Cajun food is good for you." Kayce laughed.

"Are you serious? You are aren't you?" He just stood there. "Oh Alex." She got up and made her way to the kitchen, laughter still playing in her voice, AJ soon joined her.

"It's wasn't that bad." She stopped ant looked him dead in the eye.

"You burnt water Alex." She laughed and so did he. "My god, you and only you can find a way to burn water." AJ swatted her with the dish towel but she ducked, sticking out her tongue in victory.

"I didn't burn it, it evaporated." AJ stated, only causing them to laugh harder.

"Sure whatever you say." Kayce took out the required pans and made her way to the pantry.

"What are we having tonight "Martha?" AJ joked.

"Well, I'm sure that Martha will be having whatever the inmates let her." AJ laughed. "But where having pasta."

"Oh...should I break out the wine dear?" He just loved messing with her.

"Why? So you can get me drunk and have your way with me?" She called back, joking.

"You and I both know I don't need wine to do that."

"Sure Age, whatever you say." AJ smiled and played with his rings.

"I'm trying Kat...i'm trying."

"Hey Kacy." Jenna beamed, coming into her room. "What ya doin?" Asking as she played with the ruffle of the bed cover.

"Nothing much sweetie." She offered a small smile. "Are you all set for school?" She asked and Jenna nodded, her eyes got wide as she remembered something. She ran back into her room causing Kayce to laugh.

"Woo..." She heard AJ say. "Where's the fire?" He laughed at the puzzled look Jenna gave him.

"I don't know dada." She slid under his legs and continued to her room.

"Hey you."

"Hey you." She repeated as he kissed her cheek. "Look at you, your looking spiffy." Kayce smiled and gave him the once over.

"When don't I?" He laughed but quickly stopped. "Don't answer that."

"Yeah." She smirked.

"What are you writing?" He asked trying to get a peak but she pulled it to her chest.

"Nothing."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really?" She laughed and Jenna came back with her book bag. "Now what is it that you wanted to show me love?" AJ smirked and whispered into her ear.

"But I can't show you that now love," He laughed. "Jenna's here." Kayce pushed him away rolling her amusement filled eyes.

"Yeah, sure." Kayce waved him off. "Whatever floats your boat."

"You know you want this." He smirked, that tease always got to her. "What's this?" He turned his attention to Jenna who had hopped on the bed spreading out the picture for all to see.

"Looks!" Her little hand touched the drawing with such pride. "There's you, me and dada." She beamed, not knowing that she was the only one who made sense of it but it was adorable nevertheless. "The sky was a pose to be blues but Eric used it all so I made mines purple."

"How dare he!" AJ smiled and tickled her.

"I must say you did a wonderful job on your father Jen." Kayce chuckled at the fiery red tips.

"Hey, let's have a day where daddy isn't being ganged up on by his two best girls." Jenna and Kayce shared a glance.

"But then where's the fun in that." Kayce laughed.

"Yep daddy, where's the funs in thats." Jenna mimicked.

"You two will be the death of me someday." AJ laughed and placed Jenna on his shoulders. "Ready sweets?" Jenna bent and kissed Kayce on the cheek beaming.

"I's ready dada." Kayce laughed as she watch AJ and Jenna's descending form from her bedroom door. She sighed and laid back in bed finishing up what she had written. She was going to be a lone for most of the day since Jenna was in school and AJ was off to Kevin's to work things out for their next album. Sighing she looked at the clock and it read 10a.m. Getting herself out of bed she took a quick shower, grabbed an apple a headed out of the door.

"Hey Jamie..." Kayce called her sister. "Is the studio open?"

"When is it ever closed." She laughed.

"Great I'll be there in a few."

"Sure thing." She hung up and Kayce backed out the driveway. It took her about twenty minutes to get there and when she did Jamie was outside heading for the garden. "Hey you." She smiled and Kayce returned it. "Ready to go at it again I see." Kayce smiled taking her bag out the trunk.

"Yeah, it's about time I try again."

"What made you change your mind about it." Kayce shrugged.

"To tell you the truth I really don't know, but all I know is that I woke up this morning and I had this urge to paint." Jamie shook her head in understandingly. "It's about time to I guess."

"It's what he would want Kay, dad knew how much you loved to paint and it would hurt him to see you this way."

"I know." They made it inside. Kayce slowly looked around, so many memories lied within these walls it was amazing. "It's just like I remembered it." She chuckled as Jamie showed her the paint spill they had made as children. "Dad never could get that out." Jamie smiled.

"He could have, if he had wanted to..." Kayce laughed and continued to walk with Jamie, reliving the past and looking at paintings that her father had made in his time. The girls where really close to their father, their mother had died when they where young in a car accident, they where far to young to understand. There where many paintings hung around. Some where sill life, other's of animals and such. Some of Kayce and Jamie as kids playing at the pond.

"Remember this day?" Jamie nodded. "It was the day we went fishing." She giggled.

"...And we fell in..." They laughed in unison, Kayce glanced out the window and in the distance saw the water of the pond mixing with the sun.

"The good old days."

"Yep, the good old days..." Kayce's voice slowly drifted away as he eyes made contact with her father's last painting. "I never saw this..."

"I tried to get a hold of you after the wake but I couldn't." Jamie said in a whisper. "He wanted us to have something to remember him by." Kayce stood frozen looking upon the painting. On it showed the three of them hand in hand heading towards the pond. "That was our special place." Jamie nodded with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to come back, I just didn't know if I could."

"It's ok." Jamie held her sister, she felt her tears on her shirt. "What's important is that you here now." Kayce pulled back and wiped her tears and so did Jamie. "Come on, let's go find us some lunch and catch up shall we?" Kayce looked at her sister and smiled.

"On one condition?"

"What's that?"

"No mud pies."

"Deal." The two laughed and made their way into the kitchen. Kayce stopped at the door glancing at the picture again smiling.

"Yeah.." She whispered. "It's far past time."

AN: Thank you all for the reveiws! More to come soon!

"Kacy are you home?" AJ called coming in with Jenna who was fast asleep in his arms. "Kace?" He called once more after putting Jenna down. He sighed and placed his keys down. The meeting with Kevin had gone pretty well it was just time consuming. AJ went in the kitchen and fixed himself a glass of OJ, not what he really wanted though. He was craving the sweet taste of JD to ease his nerves but he fought against it. suddenly hearing a car pull up in the driveway he made his way to the living room, looking out he saw Kayce getting out with a pizza box and he open the door, taking them from her and gave her a light peck on the cheek. "Hey you."

"Hey." She closed the door behind AJ and followed him to the kitchen. "How was the meeting?" She sighed and took a seat on the counter.

"It went pretty well, better then I had thought it would."

"That's great." She smiled. "How are all the guys? Happy and well I hope?"

"Yeah and can't wait to see you and Jen." He opened the box offering the first slice to Kayce but she declined. "They all had some really good ideals for the next album..." He said in between chews. "Where going to try some different things this time around ya know? Take our time, but it will still be backstreet."

"I'm sure the fans can't wait." Kayce smiled.

"So how was your day?"

"A day I never expected to come." She muttered.

"Why? What happened?" He asked concerned. "Did someone hurt you?"

"No." She smiled. "You look cute when your worried." He stuck his tongue at her.

"Blah." He joked. "Now tell daddy what happened?"

"There are something's I need to tell you about Alex, things about me that no one knows."

"Are they bad?"

"To you? No. But I've had to live with this a very long time."

"Go on." He smoothed her hair gently with his hands.

"Remember when we first met and you had asked me about my family?" He nodded. "Well, here goes, my mother died in a car accident..." His face fell with sadness. "...when Jamie and I where about two."

"Jamie?"

"My sister."

"You have a sister?" She nodded. "Is she hot?" he tried lighting the mode and was happy when she glared at him.

"How would I know?" Against her better judgment smiled, him and women. "She's my sister."

"Aww don't worry hun, you know there's only three women in my life, mom, Jenna and you Kat." She looked at him in disbelief "...I meant..."

"It's ok." She had suddenly lost her voice.

"No, it's not Kacy I..."

"Where's sweetpea?" She asked changing the subject and AJ knew it.

"Upstairs sleep." He studied her as she processed the information.

"I think I'm gonna hit the sack to." She rose and made her way towards the stairs.

"What about what you had to tell me?" He heard a faint never mind as she reached the top of the stairs. He placed his face in his hands. "Good one McLean." AJ sighed and glanced down at her bag and noticed a slight stain of blue on it. "Why is paint on your bag Kace?" He asked himself trying to put two and two together. He smiled after a while. "I'll make this up to you, I promise." AJ put the rest of the pizza away, turned out the lights and went to bed himself. On the way he pasted by Jenna's room to check on her and found her still asleep. "Goodnight Angel."

~*~*~

AJ blinked twice as the morning sun beamed on his face. He rolled over a growled, he was so tired.

"Jenna?" He remembered and jumped up, running around the room throwing things on. He ran to her room but didn't find her. "Kayce!!" He yelled coming down the stairs to find a note on the table closes to the stairs.

Alex, You slept late and I didn't want to wake you so I took Jenna to school today. Don't worry I'll pick her up to, she's on my way. See you tonight, Kayce

AJ sighed and felt his mussels relax. "Their fine." He rubbed his tired eyes and looked in the mirror, slightly laughing at his appearance. He was wearing leopard print pants with one of Kayce's shirts that read diva. "Wow that's tough." He shook his head heading back to his room to get ready.

"Hey guys." AJ sighed and sat next to Howie. "What's on the agenda today?"

"Same as yesterday bone, we need to come up with songs for the album." Brain took a sip of his coffee. "Any ideals?"

"None lately, I've been having writer's block for a while now...I don't know what's up with me." Brian nodded.

"That's understandable."

"I've been writing a bit." Nick piped in. "Nothing much just a little something."

"Same here." Kevin smiled as he walked into the room. "But the major thing is not about the songs it's about you guys..." He shot a look at AJ. "Are we ready to go back out there and do this again?" They nodded. "Because it you aren't it's okay and you shouldn't feel pressured." Kevin offered AJ and kind smile and he returned it. It might be said that Kevin is the big brother in the group, the perfectionist but when it all comes down to it he tends to be soft at heart.

"Fella's you made it." Shay beamed, walking through the door. "I was worried out of my mind." She placed her paperwork down and looked at the group.

"You know we'd never disappoint you." Nick smiled, winking.

"Cute." She laughed.

"Aren't I always?"

"Do you really want her to answer that Nicky?" AJ smirked. "I don't think she wants to hurt your feelings." Shay winked at AJ.

"Whatever." Nick muttered. "Let's get on to business."

"Nick want's to work? Are you feeling ok buddy?" Brain joked, laughing at the death glare Nick sent him.

"All right now leave him alone." Shay laughed. "It's time to talk about the next level of BSB, where do you see your self's going with this album? What do you want to accomplish?"

"Well, Shay that's one of the things we wanted to talk to you about." Brain started.

"As much as we love what we do we have other responsibilities we have to take care of." Kevin cleared his throat.

"What do you mean?" Shay took a seat next to AJ. "You don't want to do another album?"

"No, we're going to do another album but this one may be are last." Kevin sighed. "We're getting older and having kids and we all feel it's not fair to our families or to us."

"What about...?"

"We love our fans don't get us wrong, we really do...it's just time to put BSB to rest." Nick smiled sadly. "We know how much this is going to hurt them but there's no other way."

"We'll always be the Backstreet boys." Howie tried to lighten the mode. "It's far past time to close the door on this project and venture to the new ones laid out before us."

"Brian and I are married, he has a kid." Kevin listed. "Alex has Jenna and is one foot out the door from marriage himself." Kevin picked at him, laughing at his expression.

"Looking to settle down are we AJ?" Shay smiled and he nodded slowly. "Who's the luck girl?"

"Ah, don't know yet...but whoever she is you can bet she'll have a heart of gold." His face fell thinking of his words, Kat's face appeared in his mind for she was the only one he had ever really whole heartily considered marrying after Sarah. Howie read the look on his friends face and redirected the conversation.

"That's why its' important to come up with a good tittle, something that symbolizes all the roads."

"Yeah." Brian agreed. "Exactly."

"I understand." Shay nodded. "This turned out to be quite a big meeting huh?" She offered a soft smile and the guys returned it.

"Yeah, but it's better late then never." Brian patted her back.

"Well," She started to get up, gathering her things. "I'll go run this by Jive and let them know what's up so we can start your farewell album."

"Thanks Shay." She nodded at the thank you's going around.

"No problem guys, I'll be right back." Making her way out the door and down the hall the guys sat there speechless.

"It's really going to happen huh? BSB coming to an end." Howie sighed.

"Everything must end and beginning again, it's a way of life." AJ closed his eyes. "No matter how unfair it seems..."

"Are you ok A.."

"I'm fine, just tired." The truth of the matter was he was not okay, deep down he was a time bomb ready to go off. He had been trying to focus on things happening now then what had happened in the past with Kat but he couldn't...it didn't help that the aniversury of her death with next week. AJ seemed untouched by his groupmates conversation till he was brought back to realitly.

"Isn't Jenna turning four on..."

"The 14th." He finished. The night his love was lost and born over again. It's hard to lose someone close to you, someone you've grown accustomed to holding, loving just living each moment for a different reason. She was his connection to himself.

"You know Leigh and I would love having Jenna over tonight, that is if it's okay with daddy." Brian offered, he know somthing was up with AJ and if he wouldn't share it with them then maybe he would to Kayce.

"She has school tomorrow..."

"I could take her, plus we still have some of her things from her last visit so it's quite all right." AJ nodded.

"Ok, I'll have to called Kacy and tell her."

"It's ok, I'll do it." Brian took out his phone and called Kayce, after about twenty or so minutes he hung up and smiled at AJ. "She sure worries like a mom." He laughed. "Call me if anythings wrong, I don't care what time it is!" He mocked Kayce, making a small smile appear on AJ's face.

"She's a good woman." AJ played with one of his rings. "Don't know what I'd do without her." A minute went by and AJ laughed thinking of her responce. "Your laundry."

"You know you can make almost any woman a wife, but ones like Kayce..." Kevin smiled. "They make wonderfull moms too...you'd be a fool to let her get away."

"I don't plan to."

AJ walked through the door and was greated with the smell of Chicken and rice. A smile slowly formed on his lips as he closed the door and made his way to the kitchen. There he found Kayce picking at bread and reading a magazine. He stopped and took in the picture before him, the guys where right...he was lucky. "Hey." Kayce looked up at him and offered a small smile.

"Hey...how was your day?" She patted the seat next to her and AJ took the hint.

"It's not that important..."

"Yeah it is...what happend? Why do you look so down tonight?"

"We told Shay about this being our last alblum..."

"What did she say? Was is that bad?"

"Well Jive was kind of expecting us to soon anyways so they all give us their support." He smiled a little.

"What about...what is it you call her? Oh yeah...sex on a stick?" Kayce giggled. "What did she have to say about it?"

"Ahh, Shay was shocked."

"I bet she was, now she has to find another excuse to do the monkey dance." She joked and AJ stuck his tongue at her. "You'll miss it no doubt."

"Not true..." He smirked. "I still have you."

"Keep telling yourself that McLean."

"You know you want this." He joked.

"Yeah, badly." She laughed and checked on the rice. "Give it about three more minutes and we'll have grub as you call it." She shot a look at AJ, amusment writen over her face.

AN: Please Review! Chpt 11 is waiting to go up! :-D

"Look Kay about last night..." He started when she returned to him, she placed a finger on his lips.

"No apologies needed, a long dialogue of it?" She shook her head and smiled. "Not needed." AJ nodded and noticed paint stain at the bottom of her jeans. He got up suddenly remembering something and opened the bag he had with him. He smiled when he found it and made his way back to her.

"Maybe a long dialogue is not needed...but.." He smiled. "A make up gift is a very big must...only when I'm in the wrong you see." He handed it to her before she could say anything. "Take it..." He beamed. "A way to show that I'm sorry and you are one of the women I keep very close to my heart." Kayce broke into a big smile and took the gift into her hands.

"How did you know I like to paint?" She asked referring to the professional paint set he had gotten her. "I never told you..how...?" She stood there tracing the engraved wood that had her name imprinted on it.

"Yesterday when you came home from your sister's and you had paint all over your bag." He motioned to her bag which indeed had paint over it. "You said your father was a painter so I took a shot in the dark and guessed you did to."

"That was a very good shot Alex." She smiled.

"Well, I try." He sighed. "So you really like it?" Kayce gently placed the set down and wrapped her arms around AJ.

"Thank you Alex." She kissed his cheek. "You'll never know how much this really means to me." She wiped a tear from her eye.

"Tell me Kayce, tell me everything..." He sat her down and fixed their plates. "I want to know the real you that you keep on lock." He poured her drink, then his.

"Well, after my mom died my father was left to take care of two girls and at first he didn't know quite what to do but his 'guardian angel' as he called her, Chelsea found him they became friends and she helped him get off the that right road to rasing us." She smiled. "She was nice and the only real life memory Jamie and I had of a mother so we clinged to her." Her face fell. "When my dad died Jamie and I where about nineteen...just heading off to collage. She was the only one who ended up going, I couldn't...I didn't have the strength left in me when he left."

"I'm so sorry." He took her hand in his and kissed her palm.

"I wanted to remember him like he was...full of life and laughter...and a love to paint." She smiled slightly and AJ wiped the tears clouding her gray eyes. "As you can see he pasted his love of art to me."

"That's a good thing thought right? I mean now you have something that will constantly keep you in touch with him, through you expression."

"Yeah, Jamie told me the same thing, yesterday was the first in years that I had talked to her. I didn't blame her I told her that I just couldn't go back, I felt trapped...I had to get away."

"I know that feeling far to well." He wrapped her in a hug.

"That's why I'm with Jenna the way I am, I know what it's like and how important it is to have a strong mother figure around...every girl needs that." She sighed. "I don't know what I'd what have done without Chelsea."

"What happened to her?"

"She left, her family needed her."

"Your not going to leave us are you Kayce?" AJ and Kayce turned to the kitchen doorway to find Jenna, Brian appeared a second later.

"No." Kayce wiped her tears and Jenna ran into her arms.

"She played with Bails for a while but she missed her parents." Brian smiled and watched the three. Jenna had her tiny arms around both Kayce and AJ.

"Thanks Bri." AJ moved to get up but Brian placed his hands for him to stop.

"It's ok." He placed his spare key back in his pocket. "I'll see my way out." He smiled and left.

"Is something wrong babe?" Kayce asked and brushed her fingers through Jenna's hair. The little girl played with her necklace. She slowly looked up to meet Kayce's gray eyes with her blue.

"I just missed you." She confessed. "Bails started crying for his mommy and...I wanted mine." She hugged her. "Plus Aunty Leigh is nice and all buts I want's you." A yawn escaped the small child and he eyes fell heavy.

"I'll be back." Kayce moved to get up and AJ watched as she carried Jenna with great care up the stairs and to her room. He lightly heard her singing along the way, he just smiled slowly at the love that had been bonded by the two.

When the world seems cold You feel that all of your strength is gone There may be one tiny voice Your reason to carry on But when I'm not close enough To kiss the tears you cry Sing for me our Angel's Lullaby

"Is this the woman you where talking about Kat?" He muttered to himself. "If so then I have no problem falling in love with her, I already am...I just don't know how to give my heart." He sighed and brushed invisible lint from his pants as Kayce returned.

"How is she?"

"Went out like a light." She smiled and the two ate their meal. After AJ insisted on doing the dishes, after asking him if it was okay that he be left with the dishwasher Kayce permitted it. When everything was all cleaned and cleared away the two made it upstairs, Kayce laid across AJ's bed and a grin.

"Smartass."

"What can I say? I learn from the best." They laughed.

"Hey, that's my line."

"Tough love baby." He smirked and dodged the flying pillow coming towards him.

"Why do I deal with you? Your a pain in the ass."

"Aww I'm sorry." He place his hand to his heart. "Next time I'll go slower." He joked and Kayce threw up her middle finger. "Later..." AJ whispered, laughter written all over his face.

"Oh bite me already!" She waved her arms around.

"Damn girl calm down, I had no ideal you like it violent." AJ laughed.

"Yeah.." Kayce played along.

"Ah, you know you want this...."

"Like a heart attack." AJ laughed, he really enjoyed there little flirt session they have everyday. She made him laugh which let's face it no one really could after Kat.

"Well, I'm not trying to brag but I've been known to speed up heart waves." She just rolled her eyes and changed the subject, not that talking about him speeding up her heart waves was a bad thing, she laughed to herself.

"Anything good on? And no spice channels." Kayce smirked, reaching for the remote but AJ stopped her.

"Alex..."

"Listen..." The light tapping of rain could be heard outside the window. "Come..." He said softly. "...watch the rain with me." He took her hand in his and lead them to the window. As they looked out across the darkness they saw the rain fall by the dim light of the stars that fell across the sky. AJ took two pillows from his bed and laid them on the carpeted floor. "Here." He helped her and they both laid on the softness of the floor. Even with that lack of light in the room they could make out each others faces, a small smile appeared on both. "Kat and I used to do this when we were together." He said after some time. "Watch...just listen to the rain fall...something about it just washes the day before away you know?"

"I know how you feel."

"She holds a big piece of my heart and she always will..."

"And that's normal Alex." Kayce assured him. "She was your love and the mother of your child, it's only natural you love her."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed. The coming weeks are going to be hard for him and he knows it. The 14th kept playing over and over in his head. How was he going to do it this time? Before he didn't have these feelings for Kayce so it wasn't as hard but a year later it's a whole different story, he's in love again. A feeling that scared the hell out of him, one that he had been so long without he wasn't sure he could recognize it anymore. "No way.." He told himself, "I'm just a mess right now, why ruin a great friendship on mixed emothions?" He sighed and looked over at Kayce who was trying to read his eyes. "I want to say these words...three little words...but I don't know how. I fear that I shouldn't say them till I learn the meaning, I don't want to hurt her...for hurt is the last thing she deserves."

"What are you thinking?" She pulled him up from the floor and they laid side by side in the comfort of his sheets. The rain continued to dance on the window. "What's going on up there?" She asked as they once again where facing each other.

"How lucky I am." AJ answered after some time. "The many things I've been blessed with...that after all the rain has fallen on my life..." He paused. "You complete me." He thought. "I don't feel so lost." He cursed himself for lying. He felt as lost as a child right now who desperately needs guidance. He was trying so hard to force out the past and live here and now but Kat still plug his heart, his dreams...his memory. "I could use a drink.....where did that come from?" He wondered and tucked a stay hair from Kayce's face. She let out a content sigh and fell into a peaceful sleep, AJ on the other hand watch the rain from his spot. "I don't want to wash away my love for you Kat I...just need to deal without it." He sighed and against his better judgment slid away carefully not to wake Kayce and made his way to his office. Once inside he locked the door and opened his journal only writing down two words. He unlocked his top desk draw and pulled out an old friend as lighting now light up the room and thunder bellowed throughout the walls. He discarded the top and took a mouth full, the contents burn his throat on the way down, he fell to the floor griping the bottle and knocking over his journal...crying from everything, he thought he could fool himself into thinking he was better but the truth was he wasn't and now he had proof of it, he was a failure....no better then he was before. Old habits die hard.

June 10, I'm sorry...