Sugar and Spice and Everything Funny

Summary: Fred is going through interesting changes. How would he and others adjust to this sudden change? I always wanted to write a Fred and George Weasley story. (It still needs some editing. I have a form of dyslexia, which is difficult for me to spot the spelling and grammar problems.)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or any thing that is from Harry Potter Books. I just wrote the story.

Chapter 01 * I Will Hex You Into Next Week

“C’mon Fred. Madame Pomfrey said you might not stay this way.” George said to his twin brother as they walked to Hogsmead. It was not very cold out, but Fred was dressed for winter. He had his hood up and his scarf wrapped around his face, the only part of him that anyone could see was his eyes. He walked with his arms crossed in front of him. “You can’t stay hidden like this forever. Everyone will find out eventually.” Fred did not say a word but just look straight ahead. “You’re scaring me can you do something.” Fred unfolded his arms and held up his slender hand with his middle finger up. “I see you’re mad at me.” Fred folded his arms back up. “This is not my fault.” Fred rolled his eyes.

“What’s not your fault?” George turned around to see his younger brother, Ron, with his best friends, Harry and Hermione.

“Nothing. Fred being a bit of a woman.” Fred for the first time since they left the castle finally looked at him, only just to glare at him. To George the glare looked like his mother’s glare more then ever.

“Did you two hear that bang last night?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, it was us. We had a bit of a mishap with one of our inventions. Nothing to worry about.” Fred let out a tiny chuckle.

“What’s with you?” Ron asked Fred.

“Nothing he’s just suffering from the effects of the potion.”

“Let me guess? His face is covered in boils?”

“He wishes those were the effects,” George said.

“What is wrong with him?” Hermione asked.

“You know mood swings, low body image, a bit emotional, and need to share feeling, one of those week out of a month problems.” Fred turned to him pointing at him.

“You are an ass!” He yelled in a high voice before storming off.

“Fred, come back here!” George ran after him along with the trio.

“No!” George grabbed him by the arm. “Don’t you man handle me, you jerk!” Ripping his arm of George’s grip.

“What going on?” Ron yelled. “I’ve never seen you two like this.”

“You’re going to have to reveal yourself soon.” George said to Fred. “You might as well start them.” Fred sighed deeply and turned to the others.

“Any of you starts laughing. I will hex you into next week.” Fred pulled his hood back and started to unwrap his head.

“Oh my god.” Hermione gasped while Ron held back his laughter at the sight of his brother.

“Fred?” Harry asked. Fred was a girl.

Chapter 2 * A Ridicules Craving For Chocolate

“Fred?” Harry asked.

“Actually it’s Winifred.” George said. Ron could not hold back his laughter any longer.

“Oh shut up the both of you!” Fred yelled at both his (should I say her) brothers. (I will refer to Fred as a girl.) Fred looked like what Ginny would look like in a few years. Her hair had been long before but now it’s almost touched her shoulders. She was still tall, her shoulders were slender and she had some curves to her body. Her voice did not sound like a guy trying to sound like a girl but she sounded like an actual girl.

“Fred,” Hermione said. “Why?”

“I didn’t ask to be like this.” She said. Ron finally collapsed to the ground he was laughing so hard. “Last night we were trying to make our fire breathing candy.”

“Didn’t turn out the way it was suppose to.” George said

“He and Lee dared me to test it.”

“And he turned in to this.”

“I thought it would wear off after a while, but…”

“…it didn’t and then I thought he would be back to normal in the mourning.”

“Then this mourning I was like this and I went to Madame Pomfrey.”

“What she’d say?” Harry asked.

“She won’t know if it’s permanent until the test results come back.”

“Dumbledore found this all amusing.” George said.

“He also said that I should get use to being a girl for a while.”

“Mum always said something like this would happen to one of us.”

“I’m also being moved to the girls’ dormitories. Probably for my safety.”

“More like the guys safety.”

“He was asking for it.”

“Who was asking for what?” Hermione asked.

“Tell them what you did to Lee and why?”

“I decked him because he was looking at me funny.”

“Remind me not to get on Fred bad side.” Harry said to George. Ron had finally stopped laughing and was standing up.

“You shouldn’t be doing that.” Hermione said. “Just because you don’t like the way a guy looks at you.”

“I know.” Fred said looking at the ground ashamed. “I just don’t feel like myself in this body.”

“Your still Fred. You just look different.” Fred looked up at Hermione.

“You are right.” Beginning to feel like her old self. “I’m still Fred Weasley, the king, well actually, the queen of pranks. George will still listen to me about ideas for our company. Isn’t that right, George?” She looked at George who looked like he was in the middle of a small conversation with his younger brother.

“Oh sorry Fred, did you say something?” He asked.

“Just say yes.”

“Yes.” Then went back to talking with Ron.

“Don’t worry they do that a lot to me.” Hermione said about Harry and Ron.

“I don’t like that.”

“Neither do I, but that is what it’s like to be a girl.”

“Wow this is going to be hard to be a girl.” She looked at Hermione. “Can you be my mentor?”

“Sure I can teach you the basics.” Fred rushed up to her and gave her a big hug. “But I think we’ll need help in hair and make up.”

“Make up? Hair?”

“Yes, but first we’ll need to get you a few bras.” She said as she pulled Fred toward the town George, Harry and Ron fallowed them.

“Wow my first bra.” She said sarcastically. “Never thought I’d say that.”

“You’ll also need a sports bra for Quidditch.”

“They have a special bra for sports.” Fred said in awe.

“Speaking of Quidditch.” George said. “Wood was the only one who saw him-I mean her today. I think he knows she’s Fred.”

“How could you tell?” Ron asked as he got a Chocolate Frog out of his pocket.

“I heard him mutter something about having to get new beater.”

“He’s not going to have to get a new beater.” Fred said. “I’m the same Fred just with boobs and,” She looks at Ron’s Chocolate Frog. “A ridicules craving for chocolate.” She snatched the Chocolate Frog out of Ron’s hands and bit into it.

“Hey, that’s mine!”

“You have another Chocolate Frog in your pocket.” She said with mouth full of chocolate.

“How do you know?”

“It’s sticking out of your pocket.” She shoved the rest of the chocolate in her mouth.

(Author's note: I know what I am going to for Oliver Wood and Snape but I do not know what I will with the others.)

Chapter 03 * I Always Wanted a Sister

“You can stop that any time?” Fred said as she watched her only little sister cackled away. “Now would be nice.” Fred had hid out in her new room for the rest of the weekend. Then Monday morning she got George to get Ginny so she can tell her, if Ron’s big mouth had not told her first. Ginny clutch her stomach and wheeze for air. “I know this is tearing you up inside but you really shouldn’t hold your feeling in like this. It’s just not healthy.”

“I’m sorry.” She giggled.

“You don’t seem sorry.” Ginny stood up straight.

“I’m sorry, but this is all to funny to me. I never thought one of you would actually turn yourselves into a girl.”

“Neither did I.”

“I have to admit you look pretty good for some one who use to be a boy. I’ve seen pictures of people who have had sex changes. Most of them never look this good.” She took Fred’s chin and lifted her head. “You don’t even have an Adam’s apple.” She then moved Fred’s head to the side. “Your nose has gotten smaller and your eyes are a bit narrow. You don’t even look like you any more.” She let go of her former bother’s chin. “So you’re a full girl, parts and all?”

“Pretty much.”

“Wow. Does Percy know, yet?”

“No.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“You know what, Fred?”

“What, Ginny?”

“I always wanted a sister.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get to use to it.” Fred spotted Wood leaving the Great Hall. “Hey Wood!” Fred said waving to him. Wood looked at her then walked away mumbling to himself.

“What’s with him?” Ginny asked.

“I think he maybe under a little pressure this year.” Ginny left with her friends for their first class. Fred waited for her brother and friends to leave the Great Hall. Her friends had not see this change yet except for his room mates, who she threaten to hurt them very badly if they told anyone. She told them after she beat the crap out if Lee. The first one to see her was Lee, who hid behind Angelina. Then George was the next to see her.

“Here I got you a muffin.” He tossed it to her.

“Thanks, that is really sweet of you.” She started to walk with them as if nothing had changed. Everyone was looking at them weird. Alicia was the first to break the silences.

“So George, are you going to introduces us?”

“Why would I need to do that?” George asked clueless.

“We’ve never met your friend here?” Angelina said.

“Friend? Who? Her?” Pointing at Fred. “I don’t need to introduces her to you. You already know her.”

“No, we don’t.” Angelina said.

“I can’t believe you don’t remember me.” Fred said pouting. “I’m so hared to forget about.”

“Who are you?” Alicia asked.

“Since you don’t know I’ll give you a couple hints. We’ve been on the same Quiddtich team for um…four years now. And I’m the other red head on the team.” Both their eyes got wide.

“FRED!” They yelled at the same time.

“In the flesh.” She said before turning into the classroom.

“How’d you do that?” Angelina asked.

“I have no idea.” They put the stuff down at their desks.

“No really, how you do it?”

“That’s the thing you see, I haven’t got a clue how.”

“You are able to turn back?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I wish I was.”

Chapter 04 * You Drove Me To Do This

“How do I look?” Fred asked when she came in to the common room with Katie, Alicia and Angelina. Harry, Ron, Hermione and George looked up at Fred.

“Like you did all week, a girl.” Ron said.

“That’s not what I meant.” Fred narrowed her eyes at him.

“You look nice.” Harry said.

“Thank you Harry.” Fred went over to Ron and smacked him up side the head. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

“Why are you all dressed up for?” Hermione said. “I thought you had Quidditch practices.”

“It’s not Quidditch practices.” Angelina said. “It’s an emergency team meeting.”

“It’s about my future on the team.” Fred said.

“What does this have to do with what you’re wearing?” Ron asked.

“I wanted to handle this whole thing in a very mature manner. So I wanted to look decent”

“You couldn’t of found a shorter skirt?” Ron said. Hermione hit him.

“This is the shortest skirt Angelina had.” Fred said. “And Wood would never notice I have nice legs.”

“You know what Fred I’m proud of you.” Hermione said. “You are handling this whole thing very professionally.”

“I know what you mean. Ever since I became a girl I’ve been able to approach problems in a completely new way.”

“So are you going to cry?” Ron asked. Hermione shot him another dirty look.

“No, I’m going to talk to Wood in a very calm manner.”

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!!!!” Fred yelled as the rest of the team stood around and watched.

“There goes calm manner.” Harry said to George.

“Can you please lower your voice?” Wood said.

“Lower my voice?! Lower my voice!? There is not reason for me to lower my voice! WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PITCH!!!!” Those words echoed through the empty stands, causing a huge flack of birds to fly out of the stadium. “And I was just told I’m being replaced!” She never hated Wood she rather liked him. He let her and George get away with murder on the team not like the captain before him. But right now Fred was resisting all urges to punch him. She would if her last resort does not work.

“It’s for the good of the team.”

“Good of the TEAM? If it were for the good of the team you would let me stay on the team. That’s what a good captain would do.”

“Fred, you have been through a very drastic change.”

“Yes, my muscle mass went down but I can still play!”

“I’m sorry, Fred.” Fred sighed. George patted her on the back.

“Have any thing up your sleeve?” He asked her.

“Don’t I always?” She gave Wood a glare. “You drove me to do this.” Before anyone realized it Fred threw herself at Wood’s feet and grabbed him around his legs. “Please let back on the t-t-team! I ha-ha-have been through a-a-a big ch-cha-change. My-my-my clothes don-don-don’t f-f-fit right. I ha-ha-have been mo-mo-moved to a new-new-new room all alone. Every one lo-lo-looks at me we-we-weird. I-I-I have been very em-em-emotional lately. I’ve been go-go-going through a ha-ha-hard time! Th-th-this is all-all I have le-le-left of my ol-ol-old liffffeeeee!” She buried her face into his pant leg.

“Man, where’s Colin when we need him?” George said looking around for him.

“You know Oliver,” Angelina began. “Girls have better upper body strength then guys maybe this change will probably make her swing a lot better.” Fred stopped sobbing and looked up at Wood, giving him her best puppy dog eyes with a quivering lip. This use to work on girls and his mother hopefully they’ll work on boys now. Wood looked down at Fred. I’ll punch you in your pretty face if you say no. Fred thought. Did I just say Wood was pretty? I need to get back to my body.

“Okay, you can stay on the team.” Fred jumped up and threw her arms around Wood.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She gave him a kiss on the cheek before jumping up and down with the others. She stopped suddenly but still smiling. “Did I just kiss Wood?”

“Yeah, you did.” Katie said.

“Ah!” She spit at the ground and whipping her mouth. “I really need my body back! Ack!”

(Author’s note: I’d liked to hear some suggestions for this story.)

Chapter 05 * I’m Just a Little Girl

“You know what I’ve been wondering lately?” Angelina asked Fred during potions.

“What is Snape like drunk?” Fred said. “Is he a friendly drunk or a violent drunk? I put all my bets on friendly drunk.”

“No, that’s not it,” She paused. “Now I am, but I was wondering if you still like girls or do you like guys now.” Fred thought for a while.

“You know I don’t know.”

“You’ve been a girl for two weeks and you don’t know?”

“Well, the thought just never crossed my mind.”

“Mr. Weasley and Ms. Johnson stop talking and do your work.” Sanpe said from behind them.

“Sorry Professor.” Angelina said as he walked away.

“It’s Ms. Weasley, you slimy git.” She grumbled. Snape turned back around.

“10 points form Gryffindor for talking back, another 10 points for insulting me and another 10 points for correcting me and 20 points for being the wrong gender.” Fred started at Snape mouthed open. She looked at Angelina, who restrained herself from laughing.

“Can he do that?”

Fred stormed in to the Gryffindor tower with her friends.

“I can’t believe he did that?” She yelled.

“You had points taken away,” Alicia said. “It’s never bothered you before.”

“Yeah those were for more reasonable reasons.” She threw herself into an armchair and then swung her legs over the arm of the chair. “You know I could try and get him fired for saying that. I could say that the sexes remark hurt me deeply and I’ll be emotional scared for the rest of my life.” She said it in a very dramatic voice.

“Fred, do you think they would believe you?” George said. “We’ve tried getting him fired loads of times.”

“Yeah that’s true.” She said sadly. “Now I’m going to be depressed for the rest of the day.” Just then Ron along with his friends walked in. Just seeing Ron with his goofy hat put a sinister smile on her face. “Then again.” The trio sat down at the table near the window. Fred swung her legs off the arm of the chair so she can see
Ron. “Hey Ronny, what are you hiding?”

“Hiding what?” He said. Fred got up from her chair and walked over to him followed by George with an evil grin on his face (But not as equally as sinister as Fred’s)

“Under the hat? What are you hiding under the hat?” She said darkly.

“Nothing!” Ron pulled the hat down tighter on his head. “And it’s none of your bloody business.”

“‘None of our bloody business’ he says.” George said.

“Sound to me like there is something.” Fred said. Both twin leaned down on both sides of Ron so they were all at the same level.

“So what is?”

“Your hair turn blue?

“Have horns?”

“Lose your hair?”

“Hair turn pink?” They both stood up straight.

“Or perhaps he’s got cute little kitty ears.” Ron spun around in his seat to look at the twins, who were now giving him their tread mark wicked smiles.

“Bingo.” They said together.

“You did this to me!”

“My brother why would I do that to you.” Fred said innocently. “There is no way I could go up into the boy’s dormitories, sneak into your bathroom, and switch your shampoo with that potion that gave you the cat ears. I’m just a little girl remember. I’m not aloud up there.”

“That’s right,” George said. “But I would.”

“C’mon Ronny,” Fred talking to him in a baby voice. “Take off that hat so we can see your cute little ears.” Ron folded his arms.

“No.” He pouted.

“If you don’t, we’ll make you.” George threatened.

“I’m sure Hermione would love to see them.” Fred added watching her brother get pink in the face. When Ron did not move to take the hat off Fred hand kept slowly to the hat. Ron sensed her hand moving to the hat that he grabbed that hat and pulled it down harder. Both Fred and George grabbed a hold of the hat and pulled their little brother out of his chair.

“Let go of the hat!” George yelled.

“The embarrassment will be over sooner if you just let go of the hat.” Fred added.

“NO!”

“You know it could have been worse! George wanted to also give you a tail but I wouldn’t let him!”

“Don’t I feel special!” The struggled like this for a while longer until the entrance to the common room opened again and a girl cleared her throat. Fred and George had Ron in an awkward headlock. They looked up to see it was the girl Prefect from their year, Nicole Fox. She was nothing like Percy. She let everyone do what he or she wanted as long as no one got hurt or broke anything. She was born in Ireland and lived there till she was 2 where her family moved to America where she grew up. Her parents wanted her and her 5 other siblings to go to Hogwarts. So a year before she and her twin brother were to start Wizarding School they sent her and her twin brother to move back to Ireland with their grandmother so they could go to Hogwarts.

She stood before them with one eyebrow raised.

“What is going on?” She asked. George let go of Ron and stood up straight.

“Um…we…we…were just.” He stuttered. He was never shy in front of girls but when it is Nicole Fox he becomes a complete idiot.

“We were just playin’ around with little Ronny here.” Fred said, before her brother made more of a fool of himself.

“Alright be careful then.” She walked towards the girl’s dormitories. “See you all later.” She disappeared up the stairs. George had a bit of a delayed reaction and was waving to where Nicole was.

“See you.” He said dreamily.

“Your pathetic.” Ron said from the headlock Fred had him in. “Can’t even tell the girl you like you fancy her.” This snapped out of George out of his daydream.

“Pathetic!?” George glared at Ron. “This coming form the guy with the same problem.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh you know exactly what I’m talking about. You haven’t stopped arguing with her since we got to school. Everyone knows you both fancy each other.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“You know who? Oh forget it!” He grabbed the hat off of Ron’s head at the same time Fred let go of Ron. Fred let of a squeal of delight at Ron’s cat ears.

“Oooohh.” She said. “Their so cute.” She reached up to feel them. “They’re so soft too.”

(Author’s note: Should Fred stay as girl? And should Fred like guys?)