1994

Previous night was a challenge conquered. To wake up early the next morning was an aftermath of so many things. Pulled muscles; remains of lethargy still hanging around in the system for examples. And then there were the little hints of results from sleeping in a hotel room with a broken air-conditioner. Make that sleeping in a hotel room with a broken air-conditioner in a very warm night in June. Well rested they were not. This was the scene I got from the Backstreet Boys this morning.

I checked out the outfits they had chosen to wear today and nodded my approval to myself. Not the most flattering of clothes but they were neat and that was all that mattered. Neat and well presented. I said my silent prayers for the day, which consist of smooth journey, a calm Kevin, a happy Howie and well behaved Brian, AJ and Nick. Those were a lot to ask but I figured I had a lot in my hands, I deserved to ask for more.

“Did you see what they had on our schedule today?” Oh oh, I hope that’s an excited ‘did you see’ and not the frustrated, this is unfair ‘did you see’ Kevin had just said. I have to keep reminding myself that he’s 24, an airhead most of the time. I decided if they got a decent pay for their performances at the end of the month, I’d like to introduce him to some yoga lessons. How can I not worry, knowing that he would be the one to lead the pack when he had a temper the size of Texas?

“Nope. Can’t you just read it out loud?” Brian yawned from his position on the sofa at the end of the room. Nick was next to him, sitting pretzel style with his eyes stuck to the game boy screen in front of him. Now Brian was simply spoilt when it comes to treating Kevin seriously. I guess that was understandable being that they are cousins. Nick, bless the kid, he could be all over the place and we don’t want that, especially not today of all days. I was only too happy to see him unmoving, with his mind actually concentrating on one thing at a time. I’ve learnt that game boy to him is like a bottle of milk to a baby. If he whines, hand him the game boy and you wouldn’t even know he was in the room with you. Whatever it was that he was playing, I wish him all the best and may he proceed to the highest of all levels and be content. Howie for some reason, was still brushing his hair at the same spot I saw him brushing fifteen minutes ago. Sometimes I wish Alex could take care of himself the way Howie did, other times I wish that I could yank that comb off Howie. Alex, my dear boy, was actually finishing up his essay that he promised he would have completed last night. I would like to point out that it wasn’t by choice that he was stuck doing it right now.

“Lets just say we get barely enough to breathe.” That’s overly exaggerating don’t you think? Obviously Kevin didn’t think that as he shoved the piece of paper into his bag, not caring if it was crumpled in the process.

“Alex are you about done? We’re going in ten minutes.” I said, looking over my son. The quick glimpse I got of that piece of paper, looked like he would be more than likely get himself grounded this Friday. I don’t think my son knew the purpose of the existence of erasers.

“You can’t expect me to score in this paper if you keep pushing me to hurry up.” Not to burst your bubble or anything son, but you’re gonna flunk that paper even if I let you hand that in tonight. Note to self: More self discipline Denise or he’ll con you into not doing his homework in the future.

“You’re supposed to finish that last night.”

“You didn’t really expect me to do any kind of homework with the air-con broken, did you? We were sweating like pigs!”

“Yeah, our room reek! Thanks for letting us get ready in your room Denise.” Howie said, still brushing his hair. He’d improved though, he’s brushing the other portion of his hair now.

“Not to mention, someone ate too much beans last night.” Brian pointed out.

“Cut the crap Brian, your feet alone could kill us all.” Oh dear God, Kevin said crap, there goes the innocence of these young boys. And Brian’s dreams to become a minister.

Nick took this moment to look up from his game boy and glanced around, blinking. “Pigs sweat? Really?”

Oh God, please don’t let anyone reply to that. Please for the sake of my sanity, everyone shut up!

“It’s sort of figurative speech Nick.” Great going Howie! Now you stopped brushing that hair!

“What’s figurative?”

“Wait, I thought that’s a metaphor.” Alex honey, shut up!

“What’s a metaphor?”

“Okay kids, lets get moving now, ten minutes up.” I grabbed my keys and headed straight for the elevator, with the boys quickly rushing out behind me.

“So which is it? Figurative or metaphor?” I can do this.

“Is there like, scientific proof that pigs sweat?” I wonder what he’d say if I said ‘when pigs fly’.

“Did you watch in on National Geographic? I love that channel!” And he’s still talking.

“Nick honey, did you lost your game?” He shook his head. “No, I paused it.”

“Well, you might want to play it while you still can, I don’t think you’ll be able to play it once we get the show on the road today.”

“Yeah, I’m a level away from breaking my previous record.”

“Great, good luck on that-”

“If only I could get that master key, I could have skip all the other tasks and go straight to the next level but that would require me to go through the firewall and if I don’t do it the right way, which is difficult, trust me, I’ve tried like a gazillion times, it’ll eat my remaining lives which I have…two more left by the way, which isn’t really that much considering that I still have a few more obstacles to go so I don’t think that’d be the wisest of choice but I could always do the manoeuvre, we have that option once we’re in level 6 you know, which I am on now, but I also don’t want to waste it this early on the game so I-”

First floor, great. Straight to the parking lot where the van is. Dan the driver is already waiting for us. He opened up the back door and I paused and let Brian hopped in first, followed by Howie and then…

“…don’t think that’s a good move either, but I REALLY want to get this right you know? Or else I have to go through all the levels all over again and that will take a LOOONNNGGG time to finish and not to mention, boring cause I’m already good at those levels…”

Oh, still talking I see. I nodded and smile. I should be thankful, he’s cheerful this morning, unlike last night. He was not only whining, he was complaining of a stomach cramp and I was worried sick that he wouldn’t be able to make it today of all days. So Nick talking non stop is really, a good news. No really!

I hopped in last and was met with the glares of my son. Kevin, who was sitting next to Nick, was staring at the kid, wishing that he could punch a hole in that boy’s face but kept his cool. Brian was grinning, I swear everything is funny to Brian. Howie was too busy trying to straighten a crease on his shirt to notice. I groaned inwardly and slumped next to Alex.

“You just have to start it, don’t you?” Alex whispered in my ear. I know, my bad.

1995

I figured since for once, that Jane decided to stick around, that I would at least have some of the weight off my shoulder; apparently, I’m not just a mother who got conned daily by her own smart son, I’m gullible too. What luck.

Lou figured it would be for the best interest of the boys that they undergo a workshop about body language and social etiquette. I was too confused to think if I should take that as an insult, being a parent and all. Jane doesn’t seem to be offended by it so I figured it was just the silly me again.

There’s a room in TransCon called the Interview Room, it pretty much served just as that. There was a raised platform with a long table and five swivel chairs behind it. The boys were asked to take a sit and immediately Nick took the seat at the end, Alex filled in next to him, Brian in the middle, Howie and then Kevin.

Immediately, Ron, the guy whom Lou felt was more fitting to lecture our sons about social etiquette than us, their mothers, [who carried them in our womb for 9 months by the way], shook his head in disapproval.

According to him, this would be the right feng shui for them. Brian at the end, followed by Nick, Kevin in the middle, followed by Alex and rounded up by Howie.

“I think he could foretell it’s a disaster waiting to happen if AJ, Brian and Nick sit next to each other.” Jane laughed. “On an interview no less.” Oh, I got it now. Ron must have studied the boys for quite some time to know that. It also pissed me off that Jane caught that first.

“I don’t think our sons like where they’re sitting right now.” I chuckled.

“Kevin has quite the effect to shut them up.” Jane agreed.

The rest of the workshop consisted of them being asked a ton of questions and being corrected after they made their answers. Often Ron would interrupt Joy, the fake interviewer, to point out things they shouldn’t do when answering a question or how they should not slouch. Altogether, they changed chairs five times. The swivel, the plastic hair back, the open up metal chairs, stools and a long couch. They would take the table off the platform in certain cases or placed tablecloth in another and changed the position of the interviewer several times as well. I have to admit, I learnt a lot too.

“They might as well just make them memorise their lines since their own opinions doesn’t really matter.” I said. You can tell I’m pissed. That and the fact Ron loves to correct my son’s ‘mistakes’ the most.

“Who speaks proper English all the time anyway?” Jane agreed. “You can’t end your answers with ‘stuffs’ Nickolas. And it’s ‘stuff’ minus the ‘s’ even in its plural term. Where did he get off calling my son Nickolas anyway?”

“You gotta admit it was funny seeing Ron scolding Kevin for not keeping still on that swivel chair.” 25 and was reprimanded by some random guy who was probably the same age as him. Ouch for the ego and that was clear for everyone to see. If this had been a year ago, Ron would have a bloody nose by now.

“Or how many times he told Howie not to wink at the interviewer if she’s a woman and worst, if it’s a man.” What? It WAS funny! And apparently, Jane thought so too, so there!

“I know, and the poor kid, it’s not his fault he couldn’t help the winks.” That took awhile to calm us back down. If Ron and his people were annoyed at us, they didn’t dare show it.

“Brian, you have to stop that.” Next target, Littrell. They were on the stool and Brian kept moving his right leg up and down, really fast.

“Sorry, I’m just nervous.”

“And you can’t show it to them, they’ll taunt you even more if they see you nervous.” Who is ‘they’ anyway?

The only highlight of the entire workshop, in my opinion, was when Jake, another fake interviewer, requested that they sang something acapella for them. Don’t ask me who ‘them’ is.

They did Just To Be Close, and it was beautiful.

-

There was a half an hour break before they proceed to the next task at hand – a meeting with the big man himself, Lou. There are a lot of context to the word big when it comes to Lou. Have you seen the size of his house?

You know what I don’t understand? The fact that they kept on whining about wanting a break, that they’re tired, the threats of some parts of their anatomy about to fall off, and then when they were actually granted that rest, they went straight to the basketball court.

Nick was missing though, so was Jane. It had became a pattern that I observed. Whenever Jane was around, Nick would be stuck next to her. We had lunch together earlier, but somewhere along the line, they managed to untangle themselves from us and I saw them sitting at a corner. Jane spent most of the time holding a fries and talking, probably telling Nick some stuff [notice no ‘s’ there]. The kid would just sit there and play around with his food.

“Ten minutes left kids, better cool yourselves down or you’d stink in that meeting!” I yelled from across the court. You’d think they’d at least stop playing and acknowledge me, but no, someone’s team is winning and the losing ones were not about to give up.

I went back to the building in hopes that maybe, I could find a room where I could rest and not have people around you all the time. That was when I heard them, okay well, mostly Jane’s voice, in one of the conference rooms. The door wasn’t all the way shut, so I just stood there, out of sight. And I’m not eavesdropping, mind you. Jane’s voice was so loud, I bet if I were next door, I could hear her.

“You were slouching most of the time and I saw you whispering with Brian, you KNOW you shouldn’t do that!”

“It was a JOKE okay? And it wasn’t even real!”

“It’ll become a habit if you continue doing that and then there’s no stopping you! What did I say Nickolas huh? CONCENTRATE! This is our only chance, if you screwed up, we’re finished!”

“You mean I’M finished?”

“No, US. I invested so much on you because I know you can do this! You think I’d stay around here if I think you don’t have what it takes to do this? I have four other kids at home who need me too you know.”

“Then go home. You don’t have to be here, I can take care of myself.”

“Not if you plan to screw up like you did today.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Good. Now, I know this is hard on you, but if they see you’re serious about this and if this group didn’t make it, they’ll still offer a solo for you baby. You have what it takes.”

“I don’t want solo. I’m a Backstreet Boy!”

“You’re nothing right now. But soon, it’ll change. I really hope the group will take off, I’m just saying if it didn’t-”

“It will! I won’t be nothing forever, me and the guys will make it happen, just you see.”

“No baby, it’s Lou, the Wrights and this company, that will make you and the guys into somebody, and that’s why I’m telling you, listen to them, take this seriously and we’ll go far.”

The conversation stopped when someone called out my name. Ick! It had been a long time since I was busted for playing hookey in school. And Alex CANNOT know about that or my credibility as his mother would go down the drain. There was silence in the room and I just knew, with my luck, that I was busted.

“What is it?” I said as I walked away [very quickly] and approached Brian. He looked…panicked? “What? What is it Brian?”

“It’s AJ!”

I didn’t think I had it in me to run the way I did. Now my Supermom criteria is complete. Alex would be so proud. So what if Jane thought her son could be the next teen heartthrob? Over my dead body if she thought she could use these boys as a platform for her son’s future to go solo. She can’t even outrun me, take that!

“Oh my God! Is your nose broken? Baby?” Alex was a bleeding mess and it was almost scary that Kevin and Howie didn’t know any better what to do. Lou should really spend his money on teaching these boys first aids rather than that stupid workshop. It could get handy when the fans start to grab for them. Not that it was happening now since they’re virtually unknown, but that would change soon, very soon.

“No, he just started bleeding.” Kevin said, seeing that Alex wasn’t in any position to talk. He couldn’t stand blood, especially if it was his.

“Oh thank God!” I exclaimed. “It’s the heat, come on, hold this under your nose and lets walk you back inside.” I gave him a towel I found nearby, I hope it wasn’t already stank of someone’s sweat. I heard Nick running at the back, followed by Jane.

“Oh God, what happened!” Jane cried. Her voice alone could pissed me for weeks. “He bled his nose, heat I think, no worries.” I said. By the time we got back inside the building and led him to the restroom, Lou and his people had arrived. He was kind enough to let me tend to Alex while the rest would wait in his office. Howie came with us.

“Just stay that way for a while.”

“You’re hurting my neck.”

“Either that or see your blood again Alex, pick your choice now.”

“Fine.” Yes, Supermom is in full mode.

“Here, I got your shirt, you can change into that later.” Howie said as he handed him the shirt.

“Thanks man.”

“Next time I told you to stop, you very well do what I said!” All I got was a rebellious grunt from him. Teens. “Are you alright? Dizzy? Sick? Anything?”

“No. Just a little headache.” He did look a little bit worn out. I wish I could just wrap him up in my arms and bring him back home but I couldn’t. I knew this was something he had to eventually learn on his own. Sacrificing certain things in life in order to live your dream.

“Okay, if it gets worst, tell me.” See, I only allow my son to take penicillin when he really needs it or he would get very dependent on that drug. He really didn’t look very well but knowing Alex, he would push that away and still go out there and have fun. “I think the bleeding has stopped. Why don’t you wash your face and then we’ll get back to the others. It’s not good to have the big man waiting.”

Kevin and Brian looked guilty, as if what happened to Alex was their fault. I don’t believe in blaming someone else’s child for my son’s stupid actions. Jane actually looked terrified, I wondered if it was because she decided she couldn’t trust to leave her son with these boys or that she figured out I was listening to her mother and son conversation earlier.

Nick was visibly shaken. He was never a fan of blood either. “Are you okay?” He asked loudly when AJ sat next to him. I saw Jane nudging his side, like as if showing concern to his friend was a sinful act in front of the big people. As if blurting it out loud like that would have her son cut out of the contract. Some people.

“I’m okay dude,” Alex said. I really wished he would stop saying dude. “did you see the blood? I thought I was gonna faint dawg!” I wished he would stop saying dawg.

“I thought you’re going to need blood transfusion, you lost like buckets!” Brian and Kevin were smirking at this moment. Howie was winking, no surprise there.

“Okay, how about we get this started? I’m sorry for the delay.”

“That’s quite alright Denise,” Lou said. “These are my golden boys, their safety and health are very important.” I smiled at him. Nice man he was.

-