Oh how I wish I could see you Baby your so far away Sometimes I think I feel you What I wouldn't give for a yesterday

Howie paced back and forth around his hotel room awaiting a call from his wife, Jamie. They had left a week today to record their last album in Germany but to him it seemed as though it had been months. Oh how he missed her and the boys. Howie stopped pacing long enough to pull their pictures out of his discarded wallet and smiled sadly. Newborns, they had been blessed with twin newborns and both where proud parents. He sighed again falling to the bed missing that arms of his wife whispering words of contentment in his ear. Missing the feeling of his two boys resting soundly in his arms which now felt tired and sore. For years he'd lived his life looking for love and was fine with waiting for it but everything changed when he found her, his better half as he called her. Howie smiled thinking of the last time he saw her and remembered it as if it happened yesterday. "I love you so much..." He confessed to the warmed over air as the light sound of passing cars could be heard below. He turned to the phone willing it to ring and flow from it his reasons for being kept in sanity.

Seems just this morning I woke up to your face Now I wake up alone feeling out of place When I hear your voice at night It makes me wish I was home The closes I can be is on telephone

As if an unanswered pray came down to him the phone rang all but twice before he grabbed at it, smiling at the first sounds of the babies cooing in his ear. Tears fell from his eyes listing at the two. Howie felt as if his heart was falling in love all over again he listed on feeling he was missing so much time with them by being away. Every night he'd set himself up for this pain but it was never enough to make him stop, never enough to tell her not to call for he found himself living for their sound. Bringing one of the blankets he'd bought them up to his nose he inhaled their sent making him feel a little closer then reality would allow but yet it wasn't enough, it wasn't going to take the place of being with them in flesh.

"How ya doin? Do you miss me?" Are the first things I say You laugh your laugh in a calming sort of way Oh how I wanna kiss your lips and feel you upon me The sensations of you how I long to be

"....yes, we miss you daddy." Jamie's voice came quite and tired. "We miss and love you a lot and can't wait for you to come home to us, isn't that right boys?" Howie could hear the light sound of a baby cooing and smiled. "How are you holding up?" Jamie asked after a while, feeling as lonely as her husband, Howie sighed.

"I could be better you know...being home with you...with my family." Rubbing his red eyes he laid back onto his bed and continued to take to his wife as she told him the new adventure she'd had today with the boys. Howie laughed a few times but felt so far away. "I feel as though I'm missing so much of their life right now and that I should be there for it." He confided to her and she listened without judgment. "There's nothing more then I want to be there with you right now, holding our boys and being normal." He wiped away another tear that dared to fall. "I need to be normal, I can't wait for it Jamie you no ideal."

"I know love, don't worry yourself to much. This is your last album with the guys and after that we will be normal and so will our boys." Howie nodded, one thing he promised himself long ago was when he had kids he didn't want them growing up in the spotlight with hungry sharks ready to attack their every move, he wanted them to be free. "Your not missing much." She laughed.

"What if they start walking while I'm gone?" Jamie found herself laughing a little harder at his question.

"Dear, their barely a month old...I don't think you have to worry about them walking anytime soon."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." She yawned and so did he. "Their asleep daddy." Howie smiled thinking of how peaceful they must look. "I know you must be tired hon, why doesn't daddy catch a bit of shut eye and we'll call you tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess your right." He pulled back the covers getting underneath.

"We love you."

"I love you'll to."

Oh how I wish I could see you Baby your so far away Sometimes I think I feel you What I wouldn't give for a yesterday

It was around six the next night when the boys wrapped up another recording session. They all sat around cleaning up the last two tracks they had made then relaxed and talked for a while till Howie excused himself. Making his way down a short hallway he found a little room next the bathroom and went in. Locking the door behind him to secure some kind of privacy he sled to the floor sighing as he reached into his pocket to find his cell phone. Opening it, he dialed the number all to familiar to him but received only the answering machine. His happiness fell a bit but was thankful that he would at least hear Jamie's voice on the message.

"Hey if your looking for a Howie or perhaps a Jamie, which in my opinion I don't know why you'd want to talk to her." Howie's voice joked and Jamie could be heard in the background. "But for any chance you are..."

"Where not home at the moment,"Came her voice,"that or we don't want to be bothered. You see, Howard and I are engaging in baby making so call back in about....eight to nine hours." They laughed and Howie couldn't help but chuckle. "Till then..." A short beep filled his ear as he laughed.

"We ran out of tape." He laughed upon the message. "This is me love, we've just finished up two tracks and I'd thought I'd give you a call to see how everything's going at home. I miss you so much Jamie you have no ideal." He whispered, waiting a moment before speaking again. "I can't wait to be with you three again, give the boys my love...talk to you soon, bye." He hung up the phone and placed it back into his pocket when he heard a light tap at the door he made his way upon his feet.

"Yo D, you in there?" Alex's voice could be heard.

"Yeah." Howie answered softly and opened the door. "Just checking up on Jamie and the boys." He confessed, "I really miss them J."

"Yeah, I miss mine to." Alex sighed thinking of his own family waiting for him at home. "Seems like time is really going slow huh? Especially when you will it to speed up a bit." Howie nodded in agreement as they made their way to find the others all ready to go.

"We were beginning to think we lost you guys." Brian's smile had tired written all over it. "Kevin was about to send out the search party." They laughed and got into the waiting van heading back to the hotel.

"I can't wait till this is over." Nick laid his head on the window closing his eyes to get some sort of rest.

"Wait till this is over or we're over?" Kevin looked at his younger band mate who he had watched grown the last few years.

"You know what I mean Kev." Nick whispered and fell into a light sleep but was awakened as they approached the hotel. "Thank god." He muttered and pulled his cap further over his eyes as his bodyguard helped him safely into the building as the others did with theirs. When Howie made it to his room he took a quick shower and laid across his bed exhausted. Don't think for one minute that they didn't love what they do but there comes a time in everyone's life where old dreams just don't cut it anymore and get in the way of new ones in your life.

"It's far past time to let this go..." He whispered to the room and his eyes jerked open as a voice replied to him.

"You can say that again." Alex walked further into the room closing the door, explaining it was unlocked and sat in the chair across from Howie's bed. After a while of silence Howie noticed the cell phone stuck to Alex's hand.

"Waiting?"

"You to?" He sighed and they both laughed. "Calls every night just to check in with each other..."

"Same here." A small smile claimed his face. "You know the funny thing J? Being who we are it always seemed so hard to find someone who would look at us for us and not as some god."

"Your telling me D, never thought I'd find someone like Lynn and Jamie is wonderful to."

"We're all getting older, wiser and having kids..."

"Except Nick..." Alex joked. "I'm sorry but in till that boy can learn to except the fact that Brian can beat him at video games he has problems." The two laughed thinking of their younger brother.

"True." Howie rubbed his eyes smirking. "The thought of him multiplying is more then I can handle."

"That's exactly what the world needs, more blonde haired, blue eyed heartbreakers..."

"If I recall you've broken some hearts to J..."

"...and gotten mine tossed a few times...but that's all in the past now. What Lynn and I have is far more then I've ever asked god for and to top things off he blessed us with a wonderful daughter." Alex smiled thinking of Anna.

"I feel the same way, I don't know if I could ever put into words how much Jamie and the boys mean to me."

"Twins..." Alex gasped. "The thought of you having twin boys still escapes me...your really lucky."

"You'll have boys Alex, just give it time." Howie assured him and laughed as Alex told him that Anna wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend in till after she got married. "That defeats the whole purpose though."

"I know." Alex smiled happy with his fool proof plan. "Saves me the headaches and buying the shot gun I know I'll need for those hormone driven teen boys." Howie laughed at his friend.

"You have a while to worry about that J, Anna's only four."

"All the more reason to start now." Howie shook his head in amusement. Alex began to say something else but was interrupted as his phone rang, he then excused himself and went back to his room. A few minutes later Howie found himself listing to the sound of his boys breathing as Jamie explained they had a tough day and the boys where tuckered out.

"Mother was over taking pictures today and fawning over us." Jamie laughed as she tucked Chris and Sam into bed. "I'll send them to you once we get them back, your going to love them daddy."

"I'm sure I will." He played with the bed covers he found himself under. "How long did she stay? I hope she didn't worry you to much."

"No, I love your mother Howie you know that." Jamie stated. "Between your mom and mine I don't know who's nutter over our boys." She laughed, lightly placing a kiss upon both babies warm cheeks and Sam wiggled a bit.

"A little longer babe...." He answered without having to hear the question. "I wish you guys could come out here."

"Me to but the doctor said it would be best if we don't expose them right now, in till they get their shots."

"Your right, don't want them catching god knows what." Howie agreed with their safely. "The last thing I want is you or the boys getting hurt, I'd rather you stay where I know your ok." A few tears escaped Jamie's eyes as she listen to her husband's voice. Every night when she called she would close her eyes and picture him being right in front of her...close enough to touch...close enough to love in ways no other man could dare love her.

"When you get home I'm going to love you silly."

"That sounds great, then we can work on baby number three..." The two laughed, thinking of all the things they would share as soon as he came back home. "I love you."

"I love you to babe."

"For some reason it doesn't feel like I tell you that enough." Jamie laughed at his sweetness.

"How can that be so when you tell me that everyday and you tell the boys, how can that not be enough?"

"It just doesn't so I'll have to tell you twice a day." He laughed with her. This was the part of his day he longed for, the part where he was stripped of being a Backstreet boy and was reduced into being nothing more but Howard. One of the many reason's he knew Jamie was the one was because of her love for him before they we're together. They had been close friends for a while and she helped set him on dates which never seemed to work for they where all missing something that Howie most desperately needed...her. He realized that the woman he had been waiting for wasn't real, she wasn't perfect as he dreamed her to be...she was real...she was Jamie and that was more then he had hoped for in the first place. "I thank god for you guys everyday, without you I'd be lost."

"This is hard." Jamie sighed.

"I know, but it's the last time babe then I'm all yours." He comforted her. "I'm going to get going, I'm dead tired from recording today."

"Ok, get some rest and take care ok?"

"Ok hun and give the boys my love."

"Will do, I love you..."

"I love you to." After listing to her hang up the phone Howie laid back onto his bed and closed his eyes willing some sort of sleep to calm him and in about an hour it did. Within his dreams where his family and him getting back to them safe and sound. It may have been the end of the Backstreet boys but believe me when I say that every road must come to an end, every door must close but with it a new is born.

"So where you guys expecting the fans to act in this manner? What has been the hardest part of giving what you love up?" Katie from News Today asks.

"I think that I can speak for the rest of the guys when I say that enough is enough, we've lived our dream as far as we wanted to take it." Kevin smiled at the older lady. "As for our fans we're extremely happy that most of them have taken the news and supported us through our decision."

"Yes, and I for one hear that some fans are disappointed in your leaving as well as this being your last album...what words do you have for them?"

"It's not the we don't love what we do or that we've lost faith in the fans," Brian started, "but we all have families now, children to think of and it's not fair on our wives to have to raise them alone...we want to be there to watch them and give them a normal family."

"I really miss my wife and boys...and I want to be there with them..." Howie chipped in and Brian nodded.

"Same here," He laughed, "I can't wait to see Lee and Bails...and the new arrival to the family." Brian beamed.

"Grandpa Kev's becoming a dad so you know it's time." Nick Joked. "It's time to put The Backstreet Boys to rest and become men, not that we aren't men being BSB it's just hard finding time for the family."

"This way they will have us all the time...might get sick of us though." Kevin stated, making the group laugh.

"Nick, being the only one not married what are your plans for your future? Are you planing on going solo?"

"Well, nothing will ever be able to replace the memories I've built with these guys over the last couple of years but yes, I am thinking of doing a little something maybe later in next year...nothing is final yet."

"I see, but your taking time off right?"

"Oh yeah, after this good-bye tour I'm going to be taking a nice break from the spotlight." He laughed playing with her shirt.

"We're all getting to old to strip on stage." Alex smirked at the young girls in the audience. "Before you say it, yes, who would have thought that I'd settle down after the Sarah issue four years ago but I have! I stand here today sober, married and a pretty good father to kids who deserve to have all of me and not a ten minute phone call."

"Recording this album will be hard, with knowing it's the final project but AJ is right, they do."

"I understand...family is very important and is the number one of most people's list.." Katie smiled at the group. "So what kinds of songs can we look forward to hearing on your last LP? Many have wondered will you end with your pop songs, edgy like your last or end of a different note all together."

"I think it's safe to say a bit of all, going old school and new just to bring it all together."

"Ah I see and have you came up with a title?"

"As of now? No, we're still waiting for the name to come to us but I'm sure it will come in due time, before the tour we hope." Brian laughed. "It most likely will be titled after our first single, which we're going to sample for you today."

"Bittersweet Symphonies...very different then what we normal see in a title but interesting nonetheless...may I ask why that name?"

"How me feel leaving this world we've known for so long as pop stars and becoming some form of normal...we must give it up in order to raise a family so it's bittersweet and Symphonies symbolizes our music, which we hope will last way after the final BSB tour."

"And the tour ends in Florida...."

"Well, we started there...got to end there to." Kevin nodded sadly. "There will be times where we'll miss it but I'm sure as well as my brothers that we're doing the right thing."

"Indeed you are...that's all the time we have today folks...stay tuned for one the last times The Backstreet Boys will perform on...News Today..."

"That was weird..." Brian commented when they had all reached their break room. "It's weird talking about it...it makes it seem so real now."

"I know what you mean Rok, it seems so final." Alex offered a small laugh. "We never thought it would end...but it has...or just about." Kevin nodded as a stage hand came in to tell them of the time.

"Five minutes guys, lets get you ready to roll." The group got up and headed to the stage hearing their fans already going wild. Sadness filled the guys as they came to think of this being their last time on the show but dismissed it thinking of the tour. AJ was the first onstage and smiled at all the 'I Love You Alex' posters.

"I think they might have a thing for you bone." Nick laughed and made his way on stage along with the rest of the guys behind him.

"I think it's safe to say that I'm the favorite now Nicky boy." AJ made a joke.

"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

"All right you two," Kevin turned to the crowd, "I swear you can't take them anywhere." Flashing a smile they all took their respected places and waited for the first few bars to play.

If we could leave this world With one thing to remember it'd be... Time will change everyone Including you and me So just keep on moving towards the sun With you eyes on the sky This isn't see you later it's goodbye

Those bittersweet symphonies Will play loud.... When they sing their song From one to another your not wrong Cause those bittersweet symphonies Can break down Don't let them phase you Long as the worlds round

The fans sung along with them, never missing a beat. This made the guys more at ease on what they were doing and gave them the support that they had been looking for since the begging of the end and here it was...love from them and the complete feeling they received from the fans grew with every note of the song. THE END