Chapter 1 – Devastating Aftermath

“Mr. Dorough? Excuse me, Sir. We really need you to cooperate at the moment. The more you cooperate, the sooner you can get out of here.”

Howie Dorough blanked for several moments, just staring out at the ocean where large pieces of wreckage were tossing about the heavy waters. The officer’s words just lurked within the depressing heat and salt of the Floridian air, stinging sharply against the cut along his cheek. As much as he wanted to pour his soul to the facts of the horrendous accident, his tongue was thick with regret. The sky was mixing with the beautiful hues of nature’s glorious palate, signaling the end of an old day and possibly an old life. His large brown eyes widened in further disbelief as he ran his battered hands down his aching face. His entire body tensed with anxiety, feeling as if every muscle fiber might actually snap from the unbearable pressure. His heart hammered like a wild beast running across the desert plains, ready to fly into the thin air for any means of escape. A cool sweat broke out along his chilled body, mixing another salty sting to his various cuts. He was just unable to believe how he had just possibly escaped a near death experience. Only, others hadn’t been so fortunate.

“Please, Mr. Dorough?”

“Are they going to die?” Howie questioned blankly, turning his attention back to the two bloody gurneys being loaded into opposite ambulances. Within the soaked sheets mixed with a splatter of red lay two mysterious women. Neither was responsive to anything the paramedics were hollering around their battered forms, but the copious amounts of blood tainting each victim would keep Howie from receiving any form of good night’s rest for many years to come.

“I don’t know—”

“Are they going to die?” Howie repeated, unable to focus on anything further. His mind would not be eased by the fact that he had dove into the deep seawaters from the unharmed speedboat when the women’s boat had been obliterated by the boys’ grand fortunes. He had grabbed the first body submersed beneath the heavy wreckage, tugging her to safety. She had been deadweight in his arms, but Howie was assured she had some kind of feisty life in her soul. Now, she and her friend were just the wreckage behind Nick’s foolish behaviors. He just shouldn’t have been steering the expensive boat after those two beers. His blood may have been under the legal limit for the state of Florida, but not for his already tampered judgment...

“Mr. Dorough, the women are in the very best of hands right now. We’re getting them to the hospital as fast as physically possible. Now, please, can you tell me what happened?”

“No—”

“Officer, our friend was driving our boat and didn’t really see the women in their boat until the last minute. He attempted to swerve to miss the boat, but it was too late. We did our best to get the women to safety as fast as possible and then called for help... It was the best we could do at the moment…” Kevin Richardson, Howie’s companion and band-mate, interjected. He had quickly stepped to intervene, noticing Howie struggling to figure out which facts to present.

“Our friend? There are only two of you…”

“Nick Carter, Sir. He sustained some injuries and our other friends, Brian Littrell and Alexander McLean, rushed him to the nearest hospital. We couldn’t wait for the ambulances to arrive. He was such a wreck from the accident. He needed to get away. But, you have our numbers and information in case you need us for any other circumstances. So, are we done?”

“I suppose so…”

“Thank you,” Kevin quickly answered, grasping Howie underneath the arm. With a large jerk, Kevin moved Howie away from the accident scene and toward their car. Kevin was placid about the entire situation; his face seemed to be engraved in the toughest of stone compared to Howie’s trembling form. It was as if he had dealt with this type of situation before. His dark emerald eyes were clouded with fury, though Howie didn’t know if it was because of the accident or his inability to answer the questions that the authorities had been firing.

“You lied to the officer, Kev,” Howie finally spoke, collapsing against the side of their vehicle. He unconsciously ran his hands through his dark, unruly curls in attempts to calm himself, but it seemed like a waste. Even at thirty-one years of age with a fantastic career as a leading musician with large massive of popularity spurting from every country across the world, Howie really didn’t know how to handle the situation. For that moment, he just wanted to curl into his mother’s arms for the ultimate protection from the nightmare.

“What did you want me to say, Howie? That Nick was plastered beyond belief and refused to let any of us drive his expensive boat? We screamed for him to turn the boat around, but he insisted no one was there. Then, collided with another boat, probably killing those two women?” Kevin fired in a harsh whisper, unable to believe Howie’s stupidity. Their careers and futures were on the line the second Nick’s expensive boat collided with the girls’ boat, blowing them from the wreckage like they were insignificant pieces of paper floating with the dark winds of devastation. And, for once, Kevin was thinking about himself. He had worked too hard and couldn’t afford to find a new career at thirty-three years of age, especially when he had fallen in love with the music career.

“No—”

“Do you have any idea what that would do to our reputation? Especially when we have a new album being released in a few short weeks? God, Howie, think about it! Our entire career could be blown to bits if the media gets hold of this nightmare. We’ll be the Blundering Backstreet Boys! Nick could get thrown into jail for drinking! We’re damn lucky that AJ and Brian managed to get him home before anyone came to the scene.”

“Kevin—”

“We’ve got to protect our own, Howie.”

“But I didn’t even know their names…”

*~*~*

“Savannah? Savannah Lorden?”

“I’m decent if that’s what you’re asking,” Savannah mumbled from her hazy slumber of medicated morphine. Slowly, she parted her beautiful jade eyes that caused an outpouring of pain to flow from the follicles of her honey blonde curls to the very tips of her bruised toes. Her eyes were blurry with unshed tears, though she managed to see the dimmest outline of a muscular man standing at the side of her hospital bed. She blinked rapidly to clear the tears, not wanting to startle him into pity. Carefully, she brought a trembling hand to her cheeks to wipe away the wetness, only wincing when she hit the tender bandage covering a severe laceration across her right cheek. It seemed truly impossible that she could move without intensifying the pain radiating from every portion of her battered body. The doctors continued to stress the gravity of her condition, saying that she must rest and not move an inch otherwise face permanent paralysis. Though, half the medical terms slipped around her head like a film of evaporating fog. She hadn’t the patience to sit through their speeches, nor the ability not to concentrate on the severity of her pain. Though, despite her grave condition, she still managed to be quirky with a warm sense of humor that many loved to observe.

“How are you feeling, Ma’am?”

“Like I got hit by a huge speedboat,” she stated plainly, shifting against the air mattress only to muffle a whimper of pain. Within a second, her entire body tensed to alleviate the pain, causing her to sink deeper into the pillows and mattress. It seemed as if the doctors were hell-bent on torturing her. As if being in a significant accident wasn’t enough for God, He had to punish her further.

“Should I come back at another time?”

“No, who are you?”

“Jordan Fitz, I’m one of the managers for the Backstreet Boys—”

“Well, it’s so nice to see that you care about their line-up of dancers for the next tour—”

The man looked thoroughly baffled. “Excuse me?”

“I was set to audition for the new concert as a backup dancer. My instructor spoke with Fatima and was very excited, because Fatima adored my work and was excited to mold me to her specifications. Y’know, until my entire right leg was shattered by a little bump in the water—”

“I… Miss Lorden, I didn’t…”

“Then you’re really here about the whole boating accident thing?”

“Yes…”

“What do you want to say about it, then?” Savannah questioned openly, leaving no room for trivial thoughts. Her mind may have been clouded by the morphine, but she lived that devastation every day in the pitiful Intensive Care Unit of the local hospital. She had just hoped to spend a relaxing day on the beach with her best friend, Rhiannon Clark. They wanted to get away from the stressors of their lives, until they heard the distant shouts of men from a speeding boat. Savannah closed her eyes from the memory to see the dangerous collision. She still heard the sound of the metal crunching and Rhiannon’s shrill scream as she was propelled several feet away from the accident. Savannah then remembered being plunged into the iciest water as something sharp smashed against the side of her face. It was an explosive pain that led to a long darkness only to be roused in the distant hospital with a list of injuries.

“The boys would like to apologize—”

“For their idiotic behavior that pretty much ruined our lives?” Savannah interjected, letting her sharp tongue slip from its bed. She felt the anger pulsate through her veins, aggravating the pain surging through her broken body. She attempted to press the button for more morphine to be released into her IV, but she was shaking too fiercely. “Do you have any idea what they did to us? My entire right leg was practically crushed from the boat pinning against me. I’m stuck in this traction until my surgery, which can’t be done until I get a nice boost of antibiotics to cut the chance of infection in my leg. I also dislocated my shoulder, which needs repaired. Not to mention the severe cuts all over my body that needed to be sutured. I’m a dancer, Mr. Fitz. Do you have any idea how much physical therapy I’m going to need just to get back to half of what I once was?”

“Miss Lorden—”

“And Ann. My poor Ann suffered a massive blow to her head. She was knocked completely unconscious and started drowning in the water. She developed pneumonia and barely stays away to say three words. And, I’d love to mention the severe burn along her shoulder from God knows what—”

“I don’t—”

“My mother was a nurse, trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“That’s not—”

“They weren’t even hurt we’re they?”

“No, they were lucky—”

“Bullshit! I’d let you get the second set of facts from my friend, but she’s currently being run through a CT Scan to make sure there isn’t any permanent brain damage.”

“Ma’am—”

“I don’t want their apologies. They can burn in Hell for all I care.”

Chapter 2 - Coming to Grips

Howie sighed a long, ragged sigh as he stared off into the darkness. The water from the black, murky body below him splashed up alongside the docks getting his feet wet as they dangled over the edge. In the light it looked so much different. He couldn’t seem to tear himself away from the scene near where the accident had been. The others may not care, as he could tell that they really didn’t. They were going about their lives as if nothing had happened, Kevin doing his best to protect their image by any means possible, which meant lying through his teeth to any officer who had further asked questions. Jordan had taken it upon himself to apologize to the still nameless women without even being asked to try and save the Boys’ name before they possibly pressed charges. No, none of them even cared that they’d almost taken two innocent lives because of Nick’s once again stupidity and lack for common sense. But he did care for some reason. He didn’t know if it was because he felt guilty or if it was simply because he couldn’t sleep, just as he’d predicted he wouldn’t be able to earlier. Pretty much the only thing he’d found out was that one of the women was alert. As for the other one, she hadn’t been mentioned. He hadn’t decided yet what that small fact meant.

It had been two days since the accident. Nick was still pretty shaken up over the small chance that he could end up in jail and the fact that is expensive boat, his pride and joy, had some very minor damage to the front of it which was hardly visible unless one really looked hard for any imperfections. He hadn’t touched a drop of any form of alcohol since to try and clear his system of it. Howie had a feeling that Nick was safe from the press and that they were all safe from having their reputation smeared through the mud.

Sometime during his deep thoughts, Howie felt something brush up against his shin. He looked down distracted, seeing a medium sized piece of something floating along with the now gentle waves. He felt his stomach churn as he became physically ill, deciding that it was a piece of debris from the other small boat that was finally washing up to shore. Most of the pieces were lost at sea forever; some of them had been cleaned up. This piece had found him and he thought it to be a sign that he was supposed to be tortured and reminded of what had happened. He felt as if for some reason, he was now being punished, and all he’d done was wonder if the women were okay.

“Why are you such a moron, Nick?” Howie questioned aloud, confused about how he felt. This whole mess had even him worried and as much as he wanted to think that he cared about the anonymous women, Kevin had his stomach in turmoil about the five of them. He wasn’t sure if he was worrying for the right reasons or not, which left him angry and extremely confused.

“Figured I’d find you here,” a voice called out behind Howie. He looked back and saw Kevin standing there. His eyes had adjusted to the dark enough to be able to tell that there was something on Kevin’s mind, “I’ve been wondering the same thing about Nick,” he chuckled bitterly, “Why’s he such a moron.”

Howie shrugged, turning back to the deep waters. Kevin came closer and sat down next to him. He didn’t say anything for long moment and neither did Howie, who was wondering what was going on. He knew that it was something, or else Kevin wouldn’t have searched for him. After a few minutes of complete silence, Howie couldn’t take it any longer.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

Kevin sighed, “We’ve got a problem,” he sounded more disgusted than anything else. Howie looked at him expectantly, waiting for more of an explanation, which Kevin was hesitant to deliver. With one last sigh, he finally began to speak, “Nick received some photos in the mail…or rather photo-copies of photos. They’re of the collision…Nick stumbling out of the boat, obviously plastered with his bloodshot eyes. AJ and Brian helping him to the car. The list goes on, including one of them arriving back at Nick’s home.”

Howie’s eyes widened in disbelief, “How did…what…how…?” he stuttered, trying to make sense of it all.

Kevin shrugged, shaking his head in annoyance, “I guess someone else was out there on the waters and decided to take advantage of the situation. There’s always someone else out there. We must have missed them.”

“So now what?” Howie asked

Kevin shrugged, “Management believes it would be best for us to visit the women in the hospital…to suck up and make nice with them…get on good terms…to try to save us.” His lips were set in an unpleasant scowl. It was all that they needed to get into tabloids and big name magazines with the ordeal. That, he knew, was the point of the photographs. If they visited the girls before too much time passed, he knew that there was a chance they could still save themselves.

“You’re joking,” Howie stated as his naturally tanned face turned pale, his stomach becoming sick at the thought of coming face to face with the women. He wasn’t sure if he could do it…see what they’d done to them. He figured that there was really was no getting out of it though, and he now shared Kevin’s same worries, as well as the rest of the group, about their reputation. He knew that they were all down to earth, but they loved their careers, and their careers were on the line.

“It’s the last thing that I want to do, too,” Kevin sighed, misreading Howie’s intentions, running a hand through is dark hair in distress. “We know they’re alive, that, I believe, is enough. I wish could just move on and forget the whole thing ever happened and put it behind us.” But now they had to kiss ass to save their reputation, even though it may already be too late. It didn’t hurt to try though if it even made a difference, before the world found out everything.

*~*~*

Savannah winced in excruciating pain as she was put back in to her regular hospital bed in her room. She’d just returned from a series of x-rays to see where her condition stood. As soon as she was situated in her bed, she was left alone after being given another small dose of pain-killers to cut down on the aching of her body from the events from the past hour. Savannah sighed, trying to get herself situated in a comfortable position without moving too much. It wasn’t working, as another series of harsh stinging shot through her entire body. She tried to muffle an intense scream she could feel coming, but it still escaped her lips in a pitiful cry. This was torture. It was beyond cruel punishment and didn’t know what she or Rhiannon did to deserve this.

“I wish I could personally torment each and every one of those five cowardly assholes.” Savannah mumbled to herself bitterly. “They deserve to suffer slowly…” her voice trailed off as her breath caught in her throat as another jolt of throbbing soreness shot through her. She continued to think of ways for them to die, unable to even tolerate the music of her once favorite vocal group. It made her ill and caused her to hate the selfish, unfeeling men even more.

Savannah sat still however, too afraid to move. It had only been three days since what had happened, however things were not getting any easier. If not, they were getting harder, as she was beginning to realize she was completely helpless, and would be for who knows how long. She still wasn’t suited enough to have the multiple surgeries she’d learned that she needed, and she was getting the impression that there was more to things than what the doctors were telling her.

With a sigh, Savannah reached for the remote, which was right at her fingertips. She stretched them out, finding victory with the small task when she barely grasped it. Flipping on the television, she flipped through the channels before settling on the movie Pearl Harbor. She wished she had her notebook and a pen so she could write, but didn’t have either. She was so bored without Rhiannon to talk to, but she didn’t know when or if that would be happening.

Rhiannon was still unconscious most of the time and barely spoke when she was awake, which was probably for a total of a half hour per day if the mere minutes were all added up. It was obvious by the way she breathed that she had severe pain in her chest. She was experiencing chills and suffering from high fever. She was being treated with antibiotics, but Savannah had learned that the pneumonia was the least of her friend’s worries.

The CT scan had found some swelling in her brain and was being monitored around the clock to insure that it did not turn serious and was being given several medications to try to keep the swelling down. If things got too serious, surgery would be necessary to remove some of the fluids. It wasn’t known yet if that would be necessary. As for how severe the brain injury was, it wouldn’t be known for at least a few more days, if not weeks or months. The only answer she could get was “We’ll have to wait and see.” No matter what, she’d be recovering for quite some time…years to come even. She was attached to several machines including an Intracranial Pressure Monitor.

It was not known if a shunt would have to be inserted, however it was looking as if that were likely to. The only positive thing about the injury was that it didn’t appear to be life threatening or a type of severe brain damage that would leave her a vegetable for the rest of her life. Rhiannon should be able to recover to almost one hundred percent of what she once was. It would just take a lot of time. As for the severe burn on her shoulder and arm, it turned out to be a second-degree burn that also needed treatment to minimize the scarring as much as possible, although it was still unknown of what had caused it.

“My poor Ann,” she mumbled, shaking her head sadly. She still hadn’t seen her friend, but was told about her condition every so often whenever she would feel it was necessary to ask. She needed to be updated to keep her mind at ease, if that was even possible.

Savannah looked down at her scared arms and legs from all of the cuts she’d suffered from. She could tell that the majority of them would not scar badly, but there were a few that would leave nasty permanent gashes as a reminder of this whole thing. She was bruised on top of it over a lot of her body, however at least those would disappear completely with a few weeks time. The doctors were still waiting for the swelling of the complete shoulder dislocation to go down before they could relocate it. Once she was ready for the procedure, she would be given a dose of anesthesia. She’d learned that because of the injury, she’d be prone to future dislocations because of the ligaments healing too loosely. It hurt like hell though and the muscle spasms she was experiencing were not helping at all.

After the procedure was all said and done though, she’d have to go through rehab to get back the range of motion in her shoulder. Yes, it was definitely easy to say that she and Rhiannon both had a long road to recovery ahead of them, and that neither would ever be completely normal again. They may be close, but impossible to go back in to time and make either of them what they’d been less than a week ago. The thing was, Savannah was beginning to have negative thoughts, thinking that the long recovery would never bring either of them anywhere, and it hadn’t even really begun yet.

“If I could make them hurt just a quarter of what I am feeling, I will have completed my goal in life.” Savannah said to herself, knowing that her friend would feel the same if she was awake and able to comprehend what had happened to her for more than three minutes at a time.

Then there was Mr. Jordan Fitz. She was beyond angry with him too, as she’d dismissed him from her hospital room without allowing him to really say anything more after her telling him that the Boys could “burn in hell”

She hadn’t changed her mind, and as far as she was concerned, Mr. Fitz could go right down and burn with them. He’d had some nerve traipsing in to her room as if a simple apology she knew none of the Boys had even thought about delivering could make everything all right. She wasn’t planning on pressing charges anyways, but knew that rightfully, she could. She knew that karma would come back and bite them in the ass at some point in their life as payback. She personally couldn’t wait to hear about it when it hit newspapers. She’d be waiting, grinning and enjoying every word of what had happened to them.

Shaking her head, Savannah turned her attention back to her movie that she’d been sidetracked from in her thoughts. The Backstreet Boys were the absolute last thing that she wanted to be thinking about. She needed her strength and positive energy focused on getting better. She didn’t need to wear herself down with negative thoughts on what might have been if they hadn’t made a stupid judgment and destroyed her life.

Savannah figured she must have fallen asleep, for she found herself awakening in a hazy fog as she attempted to come back to earth and reality. There was a doctor standing before her with a grim look on his face. Her heart hammered in her chest as she stared at him, expecting to hear bad news about either her or Rhiannon.

“You’ve got visitors,” he explained, his expression never changing, “If you’re feeling up to it, would you like me to send them in?”

Savannah gulped and nodded slowly as her heartbeat slowly returned to normal. Visitors…she couldn’t believe it. She was however excited, expecting to see her Momma and stepfather. She put on the happiest face she could muster up, knowing that if they weren’t going to worry too much, she’d have to pretend everything was okay and that she was fine.

The doctor disappeared for a second, although she could hear him talking lowly to the people in the hallway, most likely preparing them for what they were about to see. Her heart hammered in her chest, wanting to see the familiar faces of her family. The people who walked through the door just moments later definitely were familiar faces, but they were the five familiar faces that she wanted to see least, if ever again in her entire life.

Savannah’s smile fell and turned into a sour scowl as they entered further with nervous looks on their faces. She wondered what they were doing there, but knew that it had to have been because they were forced into it against their will. It sickened her to see them all walk in completely unharmed other than a scratch or two on a couple of them from their body’s falling to the floor of their boat when the collision happened, which was probably hardly a small jolt to them. God was definitely in favor of the rich and famous in this situation.

“Oh damn,” Savannah muttered, although her voice came out crisp and clear, although dry and full of venom, “I guess my prayers weren’t answered. You didn’t die tragically after all in the past few days since you ruined our lives.”

Chapter 3 – Cold Realities

“Miss Lorden,” Mr. Fitz laughed nervously, obviously never expecting such an explicit sentence of death would erupt from Savannah’s usually humorous and carefree persona. Everyone within the room had immediately grown deathly silent as if every morsel of oxygen had been sucked away by Savannah’s alarmingly poisonous words. Even the doctor had become uncomfortable with what he thought was a pleasant surprise, so he quickly excused himself to attend to other patients along that wing of the hospital. Savannah briefly glanced to each of the five, unable to even produce a quarter of all the animosity she felt for each and every one into a single sentence. It just seemed surreal; they had completely destroyed her life, whether or not they realized such events. Though, it looked as if they were clueless or maybe completely heartless as Mr. Fitz pushed them closer to the bedside. He offered yet another high-pitched, nervous laugh, attempting to soothe the tension of the hospital room. “The Backstreet Boys are extremely sorry for what happened the previous day. They were insistent upon coming down to see you. That’s why they took a trip away from all the promotions and whatnot to the hospital just to make sure that you were okay—”

“Well, I’m not okay. I’m laying in a hospital bed, forbidden to move even an inch in either direction. Not that it matters, because I couldn’t move if I wanted. So, sorry to disappoint the Kings of Pop, but I’m not okay,” Savannah interrupted, tilting her chin downward to avoid the blistering gazes of the five men that caused so much destruction within a moment’s passing. She hadn’t the heart nor the courage to gaze upon the faces she once dreamed of working so closely with. Savannah released a painful breath of remembrance. Her dream of working with them was why Rhiannon had rented the boat for the afternoon – to celebrate Savannah’s audition for the Never Gone 2005 Tour. They had already known that she would achieve one of the best dancing positions, because Fatima, the boys’ choreographer, had looked into Savannah’s techniques several days in advance. Fatima promised that Savannah would work intimately with whichever man suited best with her. A large lump formed in the middle of Savannah’s throat as she brushed away the memories, making it impossible to swallow the revulsion building against her bruised heart.

“Miss Lorden,” Mr. Fitz sighed, pushing the boys forward yet again when her passion died into a sad silence. “I’d like to present Nick Carter, AJ McLean, Brian Littrell, Kevin Richardson, and Howie Dorough. Boys, I’d like to introduce you to Savannah Lorden. She’s—”

“One of the women you almost killed by being such selfish bastards,” Savannah breathed, unable to hold a verbal filter against her vicious thoughts. Though, she found herself startled with the force of her objections, because she never remembered being so cold and cruel. At twenty years of age, Savannah’s personality had crafted into a rare jewel that was prized by all her friends. She was silly and outgoing, always playful and willing to become involved in the craziest of schemes. She had a sarcastic tongue that tucked inside her cheek, but that fire and anger usually stayed subdued. Her sunny personality always shined down and warmed the hearts of many. She loved people and loved to interact. But now it seemed that the depression was adding dark clouds to the mixture, dampening her optimistic attitude into a flood of pessimism. But, no matter how much she hated the change, she couldn’t let them get away with what they did to her much less what they did to Rhiannon.

“We weren’t selfish bastards,” AJ attempted to defend, immediately stepping toward the young woman with a pained smile. AJ hadn’t spoke much about the accident, simply sitting in silence whenever management or the boys mentioned it. Yet, he was the first to speak to Savannah, which startled the others. “Nick was the dumb-ass that thought he could drive while—”

“Shut up, AJ,” Nick hissed in horror, throwing a sharp elbow into AJ’s thin gut.

“Damnit, Nick—”

“Miss Lorden,” Brian was quick to interrupt as Kevin yanked both AJ and Nick backward into the small huddle. He stepped toward the bed to kneel, reaching to vigorously rub her left shoulder with comfort as he forgot all of the doctor’s instructions about Savannah’s highly delicate situation. Only, Brian’s comfort elicited a sharp scream of pure anguish, causing him to fall backward. There was a hideous crunching sound as her shoulder moved without warning from its splint, causing yet another huge bulge to form just beneath the skin. Brian paled with disgust, watching as Savannah just screamed for some type of help. Only, he was horrified to find that she couldn’t move anything to fix the issue. She was paralyzed by the lacerations, bruises, and various breaks, unable to do the littlest of things for herself. Immediately, Savannah started to tremble violent from the large spurts of pain attacking her shoulder like a thick butcher knife stabbing into her fragile flesh.
“What’d I do?!” Brian hollered in dismay.

“Her shoulder’s dislocated, Jackass!” a nurse huffed in sheer disbelief, hurrying into the room at the sound of Savannah’s tortured screams. She instantly pushed Brian away from the bed, hovering over Savannah’s jerking body. Frowning at Savannah’s pained state; she did her best to stabilize the shoulder again. She reached into her pocket to withdraw a needless syringe, shooting several grams of morphine into Savannah’s system. It took only a few minutes for Savannah’s screams to die into soft moans of awful pain. Cursing softly, she gently rubbed her fingertips over Savannah’s clammy brow while turning back to the men, obviously overhearing everything from the hallway.

“Get them out of my room. Please, Tracy, I don’t want to see them anymore. No more visitors unless it’s my Ann,” Savannah heaved, struggling to hold her splinted shoulder with her weakened left side to alleviate the sharp pains. She wanted to shift in the bed to lessen the pain, but the thick traction securing her shattered right leg into a straight position prevented her from doing anything.

“I think it’s time for you to leave,” Tracy commanded.

“Let’s go,” Brian murmured, being the first to rush away from the horrific scene.

Nick swallowed hard, unable to look at Savannah again. “Kevin, let’s just—”

“Hell no! She can’t just kick us out of here.”

“Yes, I can,” Savannah breathed.

“No, I came here to say something!”

“Kevin—”

“Look, Lady, we’re really sorry for what happened. It was a seriously freak accident that none of us can possibly begin to explain. We’re willing to offer you some money for your trouble. Hospital stays are expensive nowadays, but we’re willing to pay. Because, we just want to forget that this ever happened and move on. Will you just take the damn money and stop giving us such a guilt trip?” Kevin boomed as he moved to the front of all his band members, unable to take any more of her truth. His dark emerald eyes narrowed in disgust, hating that she was able to hold such a powerful judgment over their heads like a wet chew toy. She acted as if they were a bundle of the devil’s advocates instead of good-hearted men that had established several successful organizations for those less fortunate. The way her jade eyes narrowed against them like they were decaying pieces of trash made Kevin’s stomach churn with guilt.

“You don’t think that I’m wishing for the same thing?” Savannah spat with hurt, unable to keep the tears from prickling behind her burning eyes. The nurse tried to silence her, but Savannah seethed with rage. She took several deep breaths as the pain dulled into a throbbing ache from Brian’s obvious mistakes. She blinked rapidly to clear the tears forming because of Kevin’s hateful words, refusing to let him see her cry. “But, the difference between you and me is that I can’t forget what you did to Ann and me! It doesn’t matter how many zeros you pile onto the end of that check, because it doesn’t erase what happened! Every time I look at myself, I’m going to see those disgusting scars that you caused because you were too narcissistic to realize that maybe the world doesn’t revolve around you. My entire right leg is completely shattered beneath this blanket and for some reason they’re waiting for the surgery. Until then, I have to have my bleeding leg wrapped in this machine that pulls my bones apart to keep them from shutting off my blood supply. My shoulder was completely dislocated, but I can’t even get that fixed until all the swelling goes down. I have over two hundred stitches in my body from all the broken glass and shit that cut my body underneath the water. I’m lucky I didn’t get a severe infection yet, but anything’s possible at this moment—”

“Savannah,” Tracy tried. “Please just—”

“Not to mention my Ann. Do you realize that you almost killed her, too? She’s laying in an ICU bed right now with no freaking idea where she is or what happened. She can’t even stay awake for more than half an hour in a day! Her entire arm has second degree burns, which are the most painful, but she really wouldn’t know because she’s inches away from slipping into a permanent coma as they try to get all the swelling away from her brain. The fact is, Mr. Richardson, you can’t turn back time no matter how much money is bundled in your bank account. Because, any time Ann and I look into a mirror at the scars, we’re only going to be able to think of your hideous faces and what you did.”

“I said we were sorry—”

“Sorry doesn’t fix what happened, just like money doesn’t fix what happened. We were actually stupid enough to enjoy your music. But, now I see what type of men you really are. Callous snakes that work under the table to make sure that dirt isn’t smeared on their perfect reputations. I’m not planning on pressing charges if that’s what you worried about. So, please, go away from my hospital room knowing that your asses have been saved yet again because of your popularity. But don’t come back – ever.”

“You heard her!” Kevin hissed toward Mr. Fitz, storming out of the room without a second thought.

“Let’s go, Howie,” Mr. Fitz heaved with regret as Nick and Brian fought their way from the threatening room.

“Um… One minute…” Howie trailed, unable to leave when Savannah looked so broken and useless in the bed. He waited for Mr. Fitz to nod with acceptance, cautiously stepping toward the bed holding a woman he had almost ruined. His heart hammered violently against his ribcage as his intestines’ coiled into sharp knots of regret. He went to reach out to touch her, but quickly remembered Brian’s mistake. So, he stepped back to push his hands into his pockets. His mouth sudden dried as a scratchy voice projected, “Miss Lorden?”

“I told you to leave,” Savannah whispered, her voice cracking.

“I just wanted to tell you that I was the one that… I just wanted to…” Howie swallowed the pain building in his heart, dropping his gaze. “I… I was the one that pulled you from the boat—”

“You should have let me drown,” Savannah interrupted before breaking down into painful sobs that Howie would never be able to forget.

*~*~*

“Howie? Hey! We’ve got the pizza inside and if you don’t hurry, Nick’s going to devour your sausage and pepperoni slices!”

“They were best friends, y’know?” Howie murmured, completely changing the subject that AJ had initiated. Howie briefly glanced back to see AJ standing behind him on the dock, just staring at him with confusion. However, Howie really didn’t care. He released yet another painful sigh, turning his gaze back to the glossy magazine he had positioned on his lap. It had taken only three days for the tabloids to uncover the Backstreet Boys’ horrifying mistakes. When Howie was instructed to pick up the soda for their evening at Nick’s home, he had noticed the first magazine blasting the boys’ accident on the front cover.

“Who were best friends?” AJ questioned in confusion.

“Rhiannon Mackenzie Clark and Savannah Grace Lorden,” Howie announced, gazing down to the photographs of the once beautiful women the boys had completely tarnished. It was horrifying to recall Rhiannon and Savannah after gazing at the photographs their families offered to the tabloids for justified purposes. “Apparently, Rhiannon moved to Orlando, Florida with her family during sixth grade. Savannah was a precocious bundle of joy that immediately welcomed the family into her heart. They’ve been best friends ever since that first day of sixth grade. They love each other so much that they insisted on sharing a condo by the beach together.”

“Howie…” AJ trailed with uneasiness, not understanding why Howie was taking this the hardest out of all the boys.

“Rhiannon Clark is twenty one years old and she’s a cosmetologist at the ritzy Charlez Penzone for the best of the best. But, her best work can be seen in the various blockbusters lighting up the screens while her favorite customers walk down the red carpets! Her family describes her as a real sweetheart who absolutely loves romance movies. She’s just downright adorable and absolutely loves a good home cooked meal, but she has to work off all that good food with miles of jogging,” Howie read from the magazine, holding it up slightly so AJ could view the photograph. He thought it was important for them to realize that these women they hurt weren’t just incomplete humans pitched into the nearest hospitals, but beautiful women with what they thought were perfect lives.

“She’s pretty,” AJ murmured, glancing down at the photograph of Rhiannon outside Charlez Penzone. She exuded such a sweet persona as she smiled toward the camera, barely reaching the middle of the logo on the middle of the clean glass window with her small height. But, what she lacked in height she made up for in slender curves, which were accented by the khaki Capri pants adhering to her widening hips and the light blue button-up wrapped around her impressive upper torso. Her long dark curls were swept into a fancy bun as her brown eyes warmed with excitement. But, better yet was a headshot that revealed her beautiful brown eyes to have flecks of dark green pooling within the puddles of darkness.

“Quite a different from the woman in the ICU, huh?” Howie agreed, remembering when they glanced into the ICU. Thankfully, the doctor had forbidden them to enter her room with her unstable condition, allowing them just to peer through the glass walls. She was attached to various tubes as the color drained from her warm caramel face as a rosy hue flamed from her cheeks. She was covered in a damp sweat from the ravaging pneumonia as her chest heaved faintly with each troubled breath. The doctor even had to shave a square shaped piece of hair away from her scalp to insert a monitor to check for her cranial pressures.

“Howie—”

“And then we have Savannah Lorden. She’s the younger of the two girls at just twenty years of age. Her family tells us that she’s their only ‘wild child.’ She has the energy of several men put together and always willing to help others with her heart of gold. She’s also the comedian of the family. But, interesting enough, she’s a popular dancer circulating around the music business’ leading musicians. She was actually scheduled to work on the Backstreet Boys’ new tour, Never Gone, planned to launch in the spring of 2005. Fatima, the boys’ choreographer, told us that Savannah was one of the most talented dancers of this generation and beyond. She was looking forward to pairing the exuberant girl with one of the boys for the most fantastic duo on the tour,” Howie read with a melancholy tone to his voice.

“Are you serious?” AJ breathed with regret, glancing down to the beautiful photograph of the devastated woman they had barged in upon today. She looked like a completely different person standing in the middle of an expensive dance studio. She looked like the perfect image of a dancer with light blonde curls clipped at her shoulders and secured into a graceful braid, accenting her heart-shaped face and even the light splash of light freckles across the bridge of her nose as her jade eyes glittered with a mischievous flare. She was offering a goofy thumb’s-up sign to the photographer, but her body was still poised like a graceful dancer. She was slender from the years of dancing with enticing curves to round out the swell of her breasts and hips. She looked to be every man’s fantasy.

“Tima said that we were going to meet her next week…”

“She’s gorgeous; I wouldn’t have minded dancing with her…”

“But you can’t, J, remember? We broke her leg into so many pieces that she’ll be an entertaining jigsaw puzzle for the surgeons to deal with,” Howie seethed with remorse, unable to block the sound of Savannah’s pitiful sobs. After visiting the hospital, Howie’s concerns had shifted from outward to inward. He actually cared for the woman behind the layers of gauze, knowing he was part to blame for her suffering. She had been so weak and helpless in the starch white hospital bed, covered with thick layers of bruises and lacerations. It was almost impossible to imagine her as the independent woman in the photograph ready to take the music business by a powerful storm. However, it was still a balancing act in his mind. Because, Kevin was right, they did have to protect their own.

“Howie, don’t—”

“Don’t what? Do you realize what we did? Remember when Kevin screwed up his knee? We had heart-attacks because he had to have arthroscopy to fix the torn ligaments. That was just an itty-bitty surgery compared to what Miss Lorden is going to have. Her entire leg is shattered and she was a dancer no less. Do you realize—”

“Howie,” AJ sighed heavily, unable to even begin to answer his plaguing question. “This is insane, okay? We’ve got a lot of planning to do, so you’ve got to keep a straight head! Kevin’s waiting for us inside. Nick managed to pay off the asshole that snapped the photographs of our accident. He’s got all the negatives and stuff inside already. We’re just looking for a place to stash them. Plus, Kevin wants us to work on schedule for the hospital. He thinks we need to keep visiting the girls since the tabloids are obviously just starting to get wind of the accident. He’s afraid that if some jerk got clips of the accident that others might have, too. So, he thinks if we have a few key photographs of us at the hospital leaked to the presses that we might be able to salvage something. Just a few weeks then we can forget about this mess.”

“But they’ll never forget...”

Chapter 4 - Slow Improvements

Howie still couldn’t get the girls out of his mind, nor the last comment that Savannah had said to him. The chilling words of “You should have let be drown” echoed throughout his brain constantly, haunting his every waking moment as well as when he slept. Her violent, hurting sobs would ring in his ears throughout the day. The others still didn’t understand why he cared so much and was so affected by this, but the fact of the matter was that he was and he couldn’t change that. He couldn’t change it no matter how hard he might want to. He was cursed by being a sensitive, compassionate person, which had always won him the label of having nothing but good in him.

This was why he was on his way to the hospital to try again with Savannah and hopefully to get the chance to meet Rhiannon. It had been seven days since their first and only visit. He was willing to give things a try again, hoping that Savannah had had a change in heart over the past week. They had, after all, visited barely two days after the accident. All of her pain and anger was still new and fresh and they hadn’t given her a real chance to cool off and think rationally. He figured that the logical reasoning would have taken over her hostility by now, making his visit safe.

“You sure you wanna do this?” AJ asked, distracting Howie from his thoughts, “I mean, the chick did say for us to never come back, ever.” He recalled, quoting Savannah’s harsh words, “Shouldn’t we at least grant her that wish? I mean if she wants to be left alone, we should leave her alone, and get on with our own lives. I don’t understand why you are making so much of this anyways.”

Howie looked over to his own best friend whom he’d conned into going with him that very day. He shrugged and gave a nervous smile, his confidence slowly fading with every step that he took in the direction of where the girls were in the large hospital. He could feel his body trembling beneath his clothing, hoping that he didn’t come off as insecure to the girls.

“I want to visit them. I have a feeling things will be different,” Howie stated with a confidence he really didn’t feel. “Besides, Kevin did want us to visit taking turns to try to save our reputations,” he spat the word out as if it were venom. “Whatever Lord Kevin says, goes,” Howie added, trying to hide the fact that Kevin was not the reason he was going. He was sick of the Boys giving him so much crap over the whole situation. If he just went along with things, for the most part, for a little bit, it would save a lot of breath for him.

AJ snickered. Sure, Kevin was their good friend, but that didn’t change the hierarchy of their group. Since he was, in fact the oldest, they usually did have to listen to him unless they wanted a grudge held against them for days or even weeks at a time.

“I still can’t believe that Nick was such a fucking idiot, driving a boat under the influence. I mean, a car is bad enough…but a boat…” AJ shook his head and rolled his eyes, “If he hadn’t been so stubborn, one of us who was sober would have been driving and none of this would have ever happened. Then again, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.”

Howie raised an eyebrow. He didn’t know how any of this could be taken as a blessing in disguise, but decided not to argue. His views were obviously miles apart in every aspect of the situation.
Turning a corner, Howie and AJ found themselves face to face with a large familiar room, which was labeled ICU in bright red lettering. Howie took a deep breath, pausing at the doorway. Why he’d decided to give this one a shot first, he did not know, but he was there and something was drawing him in to the room with AJ behind him.

“May I help you?” a nurse behind a desk asked almost as soon as they were on the inner side of the double swinging doors. Howie looked right at the woman who looked to be in her mid thirties, black hair swept out of her face being held back with a banana hair clip. She looked to be friendly, assuming she’d almost have to be to be working with Intensive Care patients.

“Um, actually, yes,” Howie spoke up, giving her his smile that melted many hearts into a pool of mush. He hoped that she had the information he wanted and needed, “Is there a Rhiannon Clark here?”

The nurse smiled warmly, letting Howie and A.J. both know that she recognized the name and knew exactly who they were talking about without a second thought. They took this as a good sign.

“Yes, there is. She’s such a sweet girl. She’s got a lot of fight in her,” the nurse told them, “Such a shame what happened to her and her friend.” She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she shook her head sadly.

“But she’s okay?” Howie pressed, hoping that the he’d get the answer that he was hoping to. He couldn’t stand bad news. All of the negativity from his last visit had him worried that this one would bring on the same suddenly.

“Yes and no,” the nurse replied, causing her to get a couple of confused stares.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m really not authorized to share that information with you.”

Howie grunted in annoyance. He personally felt he had every right to know, beings it was partly his fault that she was there in the first place. He was trying to figure out what to say as the nurse studied him and AJ cautiously as if analyzing them. Then the look of recognition came over her widening dark eyes as if she were just putting two and two together.

“It’s you…” she spoke softly, shaking her head again as if trying to keep her views neutral. Nobody said a thing for a long moment, but eventually the nurse spoke again, offering a small smile, “Well, I do give you credit for coming to check up on her, so I guess I can deliver some sort of information.” She paused, “Rhiannon suffered from head trauma, which alone is pretty serious. She’s coming around though. Things were shaky for the first few days, but I think that there’s a good chance she’ll make a near full recovery. There’s still some pressure build up on her brain, but it has been going down slowly. I can see her being released in another two to three weeks.”

Howie listened intently as the nurse explained the young girl’s delicate condition. He was glad to know that she was improving, although the nurse was right. Any type of head trauma would opt for a long mending process. Then Savannah’s words came to mind of her saying that her Ann was moments away from slipping into a permanent coma. He wondered if that were still a possibility, or if the girl was at least out of the woods for that road that life could have chosen for her.

“Can we see her?” AJ found himself asking before Howie had the chance to, not wanting to seem like a tagalong heartless bastard who’d just come along for the ride and fresh air.

“Ummm,” the nurse hesitated as she bit her lip.

“Please?” Howie asked quietly, needing to personally put closure to his worry on the girl who’d been to unstable for him to visit the first time around. It would ease his mind somewhat knowing that she was at least alert.

“I suppose a moment wouldn’t hurt,” she finally agreed, her heart going out to the two men, “But just a quick visit. If she’s asleep, don’t disturb her rest. She needs it. If she’s awake, go ahead and talk gently, but she will be groggy and slightly disoriented… Just a forewarning.”

Howie gulped and nodded as the nurse led the two back to where Rhiannon was. She stepped aside and let the two men take over, telling them she’d be back in ten minutes, which was all the longer they would have with her. At first, the girl appeared to be asleep. Her complexion had a little color back in it, but her cheeks were still a rosy red from the pneumonia. Her once dark, full head of curls were matted down and flattened from lying under the weight of her body. She had various cuts along her face that were able to be seen from close up, but she still was quite pretty despite all the destruction that had been done. Her chest rose and fell in labored breathing under a thick blanket and ever so often she would shudder slightly. Howie stared, unable to think of anything to say. He was face to face with girl number two and suddenly was afraid to be, knowing he’d seen enough and feeling as if he’d made a mistake by visiting the seriously injured female. But before he had the chance to quietly walk away, dragging AJ behind him, the girl spoke without opening her eyes.

“Who’s… there?” she called weakly, calling out a familiar name when she got no answer for a couple of moments, “Savannah?”

Neither boy said anything, freezing in their tracks. Rhiannon, or Ann as Savannah called her, coughed softly, groaning in pain as she did so. The two’s hearts hammered in their chests even harder. A.J. elbowed Howie in the ribs, not knowing what to do or say or how to react in general. Howie just shrugged in response, for neither did he.

Rhiannon slowly opened her eyes to nothing more than a squint, her vision hazy. She could barely make out two blurry figures, but her reaction wasn’t what they expected. She closed her eyes again and moaned quietly as a pounding in her head came on. She scrunched her face up in agony as the two men watched helplessly and clueless as to what to do.

“Oh, just you,” she finally spoke, her voice barely a whisper. Neither said anything, surprised that she’d spoken, and more or less that she somehow knew obviously of what they’d done, “Savannah…told me…” her voice trailed off as if she wanted to say something more but hadn’t the energy to.

“We’re very sorry,” Howie spoke immediately to defend them, “It…things…we…” he sputtered before just finally saying, “We wanted to tell you in person.” No matter what excuse he made, things wouldn’t change.

“I wish you…hadn’t.” she spoke, sadness in her voice. It wasn’t angry like Savannah’s, then again, Rhiannon would probably yell herself into a coma if she got herself worked up, “’Cause…I didn’t…want to believe it. Now I...have to.”

Howie sighed. He never thought a single comment could make him feel so guilty, and neither did A.J. Her softness tore at their hearts like nothing else. But Howie just kept reminding himself that if she was as alert as Savannah, she’d probably be yelling and cursing at them just the same.

“We’re sorry…” AJ said lamely, not able to find any other words within himself. He scanned his brain for something more to say, however nothing came. His mind was blank…completely and utterly blank.

“I’m sorry too,” Rhiannon stated sluggishly, making the two Boys think that she was going to be rational, but the next words out of her mouth stung them like pouring alcohol over an open wound, “Because although my friend and I are… ruined physically, you all will be… ruined mentally. I hope…it eats away at you…forever.”
Howie tried to speak to get in some words, but the girl struggling to stay conscious spoke before he had the chance to.

“Savannah was right…you’re low life,” she stated with tears falling from her eyes, “We did nothing…it should have been you all to get injured…or worse, ‘cause…it was all…your…fault.” Her breathing became far apart and her eyelids stinging although she never once opened them to look at the men she’d used to look up to as role models. She never would again see them in the same good light, “Now leave me the hell alone…before I…press charges.”

The words that Rhiannon spoke made Howie ill, and made him believe that it was true. It should have been them, and now the two weren’t even allowing them the honor of their forgiveness. Not that he blamed them. He started to say something else to her, but found it useless, for she’d tilted her head away from them to let them know that they were no longer welcome.

“C’mon, D…let’s get out of here.” AJ stated, tugging at Howie’s arm.

Howie took one last look at Rhiannon before willingly following AJ’s lead just as the nurse from the front came by to escort them out herself. Whether it was because of Rhiannon or the 10 minutes they’d been restricted to, either way their time was up. The girl in the room was nothing like the bright, sunny, honey-sweet girl he’d read about in the magazine. Howie hoped that their next stop went smoother, but had a feeling it wouldn’t. He knew he couldn’t leave without trying though, so off they went to destination two for the afternoon. Howie was crossing his fingers that he didn’t get a bedpan thrown at his head this time.

*~*~*

A week passed without any more bitterly sour visits from the spineless bastards Savannah and Rhiannon had used to admire. Savannah was glad for this, because if she ever saw them again, she wasn’t so sure she wouldn’t attempt to leap from the bed and strangle them. She needed to keep herself calm though, for her surgery was scheduled for the following day to reconstruct her leg, or rather the first of a series of surgeries to reconstruct it. After the surgeries would more than likely come physical therapy for her poor, damaged leg. But as she already knew, none of that would make her become what she once was again.

She’d been able to speak to Rhiannon for a split second just the day before. Their conversation had been kept minimal because she was just beginning to make headway in her recovery. She sighed, wondering what her best friend was up to…if she was awake, or still in a deep sleep.

Their conversation had been basically over phones, as neither one of them could be moved to the others location for a real visit. Savannah had cried tears of joy when she’d heard her friend’s voice. She’d been worried that she never would again. As small as it had been, it was there and that was enough for her under the circumstances.

Rhiannon still had no recollection of what had happened and was confused about where she was, so Savannah had filled her in the best she could. Rhiannon had been frightened and on the verge of distraught, but she’d been able to soothe her friends worries. She’d even told her about the Backstreet Boys being at fault, which Rhiannon’s reaction was just as expected. Furious. She too, no longer claimed herself to be a fan of the Boys.

They nauseated her just by thinking of them, as she’d told Savannah, and couldn’t believe she once thought them to be worth and down to earth.
Savannah sighed. She was still in a significant amount of pain, but was growing used to it by the hour. She was beginning to wonder if she’d ever know what life without it would be like again. It wasn’t seeming likely. She knew that the surgery would cause her leg more pain, and she’d probably be given a nice dose of Oxycontin as a pain killer as well as Perkasets.

“Stupid Jock-straps,” she muttered under her breath in reference to the men. As much as she tried to forget them and what happened, it just caused her to think of it more. The only time she hadn’t thought of it had been when her Momma had called her, saying she’d be in with her step dad in a few days. She couldn’t wait to see her parents and hoped that there wouldn’t be any unpleasant interruptions while they were there.

Upon thinking of the men that left a pungent taste in her mouth, two of them appeared in her doorway slowly. She rolled her eyes she scrunched up her nose in utter disgust. They obviously hadn’t gotten the hint the first time around. It was just like a man to not know how to listen.

“Hi,” Howie stated nervously as he welcomed himself in, A.J. following him.

“Where’s the Ringleader of the Ass Squad?” Savannah quipped sarcastically, “Or is he currently stuck so far up his own, he couldn’t make it to torture me along with you?”

Howie tried to suppress a laugh he could feel coming at the mention of Kevin being called the Ringleader, but it died when he saw the harsh glare that he was being shot. If looks could kill, he’d be chopped up and given as puppy chow by then.

“The others are um, at their homes…beings we do all have homes in Florida.” AJ shot back.

“That’s where you should be too,” Savannah told them, out of my sight, out of my mind. They were smart not to show. You two are obviously the dumber ones…well, other than Nick.”

Howie shook his head and looked to AJ for help. AJ backed away though, not wanting to be a part of the whole thing. It was Howie’s idea to come, so he was leaving the small Latino to fend for himself on this one.

“We wanted to see how you’re doing,” Howie explained, “To make sure you’re okay and all.”

“What do you think?” Savannah asked, “Do I look any better?” She didn’t give either the chance to reply, “I’m the same, although thank God my surgery is tomorrow so I can start healing properly. I’d advise you to stay away though…or else I won’t mend as quickly as I should because I’ll be stressing too much.”

“Um…good luck with the surgery,” Howie stated lamely, his eyes darting around the room for he was so jittery with nerves he couldn’t focus.

“Psh,” Savannah snorted, “I’ll need all the luck I can get. Pray for me to get better, and I’ll pray for you to not come back…then maybe yours will come true. You may let yourselves out now. I’d personally kick you out…literally, but I can’t.”

“Real sweet,” AJ muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Just a forewarning,” Savannah seethed, “You’d better stay away from Ann…or else I’ll make sure you pay. She doesn’t need your faces in her line of vision right now…or ever. Just like I don’t. Now leave…” her voice trailed off, not really giving them much choice to argue, just as Rhiannon had done not even half hour earlier.

AJ was the first out the door, flying out in a stormy heat of anger. Howie left slowly behind him, his shoulders slumped, realizing that Savannah was in a stubborn mood and still extremely angry with him and the others. He decided it was best if he went without saying he’d already paid Rhiannon a visit, and her reaction had been nearly the same as Savannah’s. It would only add to the problems, which he knew weren't near over yet.

Chapter 5 – A Chance for Hope

Howie swallowed hard as he approached the Nurse’s Station in the center of Savannah’s hospital floor, wondering yet again what he was doing at the hospital. As much as his brain told him to stop interfering in these women’s lives, his heart wouldn’t let him rest that easy. It never failed that he awoke during the night, drenched in sweat as he dreamed of the girls’ screams when the boats collided. Even when he closed his eyes now, he could see the splintering wood as the girls were literally thrown into the concrete-like water as if they were rag-dolls. He could still feel the warmth of Savannah’s blood coating his hands as he struggled to fix her mangled leg on the gritty beach land. He even remembered glancing up to find Kevin pulling Rhiannon from the wreckage, starting CPR to remove the water from her lungs. But, the sound of an ambulance pulling into the hospital shattered his memories. So, he quickly shook those thoughts away, knowing he had to focus.

“Excuse me?” Howie called softly, shifting the small basket of gifts in his arms. He leaned against the desk to draw the attention of the chattering nurses, who seemed to jump at the interruption into their personal lives. Each pair of eyes held a melancholy sadness for the woman that Howie was known to always visit. They knew he was one of the five at fault for putting their favorite patient in such serious condition. It hadn’t taken long for papers to get hold of the story, sharing both the bad images with the better images. Almost everyone in the hospital staffing had come into contact with Rhiannon and Savannah at some point during their stay and fully enjoyed each woman’s bright personality – until the boys started coming for visits. “I just went down to Savannah Clark’s room and she wasn’t there…”

“She’s still in surgery,” a young nurse piped. “It takes more than a few hours to fix the damage you did to her leg. We’re talking massive rods, screws, and bolts just to hold all those tiny bits of bones together—”

“You really don’t have to go into detail for someone that was involved in the accident,” another voice announced from behind Howie, causing him to stiffen dramatically. He turned to face the voice, instantly recognizing the woman as belonging to Savannah’s family. It didn’t take a genius to recognize Savannah reflecting from this older woman’s features.

“I… I’m—”

“I know who you are,” she replied coolly, moving to walk down the hallway.

“Wait!” Howie instantly cried in surprise, never expecting the woman to leave as abruptly as she had entered. For some reason, he desperately wanted to speak with her about Savannah. So, he stumbled slightly on the slick linoleum tiling as he increased his pace. And, despite his mishaps sliding about the waxed floor, he managed to reach the woman before she disappeared into the nearest elevator. He held the basket higher against his broad chest as he collapsed backward into the side of the elevator, panting heavily. “You… You’re—”

“Savannah’s mother.”

“I’m—”

“Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys,” she answered. Her voice was void of any emotion as she depressed the button for the surgical floor. She even made an attempt not to glance at the man that had trashed her daughter’s vibrant life. “You were in the other boat that hit Rhiannon and Savannah. Trust me; I know everything I need to know about you, Sir.”

“I—”

“Do you have any idea what kind of impact you made on my daughter’s life before this accident?” the woman instantly exploded, stepping into the somewhat vacant waiting area. She immediately turned on her heel, obviously waiting for Howie to step off the elevator. He seemed to oblige her quiet anger as he stepped off, noticing a dark haired man step behind her with a large bag clutched in his hands. She looked determined to continue, so Howie remained quiet. “Savannah was absolutely one of the best dancers ever to have existed in your line of work. And it’s not just a mother’s pride that tells me that. You just ask any one of the top choreographers around Orlando and they’ll recommend Savannah over every single other dancer along these parts. She has this presence on the stage that just draws everyone into her dancing and makes them connect with the lyrics in a way they could never imagine.”

“I read that she was a good dancer—”

“And I’m telling you that she was a fantastic dancer. She was so fantastic that your choreographer signed her for your recent tour after seeing only five minutes of her dancing in a private studio. And she couldn’t have been more excited to dance behind your band. She adored your music and always danced around home with it plugged into her ears. She would have made your tour fantastic,” Savannah’s mother interrupted, reaching into the bag her husband was holding to withdraw several videos. She then pushed them into Howie’s hands. “I was going to give these to Savannah when she got out of surgery. They’re filled with her various video shoots and performances. I thought they’d cheer her up, but I think it’s more important for you to see what you really tampered with instead of just assuming she was a good dancer.”

“Okay,” Howie obliged, actually curious to see what she was like before the disaster. He took the videos into his arms, slightly toppling with the basket in his hands. Frowning, Howie reached to give the Get Well Basket to Savannah’s mother. He had decided to try once more to reach Savannah’s bitter heart. After reading various articles, Howie discovered that Savannah’s favorite animal was a dolphin and actually worked at the local aquarium between dancing gigs. So, he went out to purchase a variety of beautiful trinkets that had anything to do with dolphins or involved her favorite color purple. He hoped it might cheer her up after the surgery, but it was obvious her mother didn’t want him waiting around. “Can you at least give this to Savannah when she gets out of surgery?”

“We will,” the man answered from behind his wife, taking the basket. “And, thank you.”

“No, thank you,” Howie whispered.

“Mr. Dorough!”

“Yeah?” Howie called hopefully, turning back to the woman.

“This doesn’t erase what you did to her. There’s a good chance that she’ll never be able to dance again because of the trauma to her leg. And as much as it might kill a mother to say this, I wish you would have killed her instead, because the life you left her with won’t be much of a life at all.”

*~*~*

“What are you doing here?” Rhiannon was quick to comment as a tall figure shadowed her ICU doorway. It took her only a moment to realize that someone was staring at her. So, slowly, she opened her eyes to reorient herself. A wave of pain flushed over her body as the throbbing resumed in the back of her skull, reminding her of just why she was still stuck in the hospital. She could only be thankful that the fever was dissipating and the mucous from her lungs was surfacing as antibiotics continued to flood through her system at a rapid pace. Briefly, she raised a hand to gingerly touch the gauzed portion of her head, wincing at the tenderness of the wounds. Finally her periods of consciousness were growing longer than before with the increase of steroids to drop the swelling in her brain. Though, like always, she still managed to tire easily and always drifted into a light slumber. That’s why she had been dozing with a pen gripped tightly in her hand. She had been working diligently to finish a letter to Savannah, hoping that a nurse on night shift would deliver it.

“Glad to see that you’re feeling better,” Kevin murmured, obviously not swayed by Rhiannon’s soft voice of criticism. Instead, he just shut the door behind him and took the respective seat next to Rhiannon’s bed. He didn’t even attempt to glance at the broken girl, promising himself that he would not feel guilt for Nick’s stupidity. He was only there to visit to soothe management’s hysteria over Nick’s mistakes and provide the right type of coverage for the media to find.

“I’m sure you’re ecstatic,” Rhiannon answered meekly, slowly flexing her fingers to work the cramp from the center of her palm. She wanted to hurry and finish her note to Savannah, hoping that maybe her best friend would be able to reply by tomorrow. She was aching for further news on Savannah’s condition, because her friend’s golden heart always made it difficult to judge whether or not she was hurting. Savannah always took care in hiding her pain from others, not wanting them to worry about her. Only, Rhiannon knew something was terribly wrong with Savannah, even if she wouldn’t admit it.

“I am ecstatic,” Kevin promised, though his voice was dry and callous. He made no attempt to gaze into her dark eyes, simply snapping open a recent magazine to see what the media was saying about his band’s predicament. Sure enough, dozens of pictures littered each page with various images from the scene of the accident, but slowly more pictures of the boys visiting the hospital were starting to creep into various magazines. They were starting to regain their title as the Golden Hearted Boys of Pop, which just caused relief to course through Kevin’s body. He figured a couple more visits while “pretending” to be furious with the paparazzi hording outside the hospital would cause the entire mess to crumble. Then he could get on with his life.

“You obviously don’t want to be here,” Rhiannon yawned, bracing her arm against the tray to finish crafting her note to Savannah. She glanced sideways at Kevin’s profile, noticing the anger and frustration rising from his tough aura.

“You’re right, I don’t.”

“Then why come around?”

“Because—”

“Did you visit Savvy yet?” Rhiannon interrupted, scrawling her name across the bottom of the note. She really didn’t want to hear his excuses as to why he deserved to be visiting the hospital instead of residing in one.

“Savvy?”

“Savannah Lorden?”

“You’re obnoxious little friend?”

“She’s not like that with people she actually enjoys.”

“Pardon me if I find that hard to believe.”

“So, you have seen her?”

“In so many words.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s in the hospital. What do you think?”

“Mr. Richardson—”

“She’s just a pissed off chick jacked at the world because she has a few broken bones and a couple of scratches on her pretty face—”

Rhiannon’s breath caught with distress at Kevin’s bold statement. She stiffened dramatically, resting a hand against her chest to aid her breathing. “What bones did she break?”

“She crushed her leg or something...”

Rhiannon released a painful sob of disbelief. “Oh, God, Savvy…”

“What’s that about?”

Rhiannon shook her head, knowing that Kevin couldn’t even begin to comprehend the devastation circling around Savannah. Everything that the younger woman had worked so hard for rested in her ability to dance like a graceful angel. It seemed so hard to believe that Savannah hadn’t revealed that startling piece of information, but Rhiannon’s throbbing headache shifted to a stabbing pain. With that revelation, it seemed that Savannah needed Rhiannon’s note more than she had anticipated. Savannah had to know how much Rhiannon loved her and was thinking about her. Shivering from the fever, she swallowed hard to compose herself as to not make her head injury more severe. “Can you give her this note? Please?”

“Does it say Postal Service across my—”

“You owe me this, okay?”

“I don’t owe you—”

“Just act like you have the tiniest piece of a heart and deliver the note for me. I promise I won’t bother you again and might even be persuaded to let you get a couple photographs of us together for your pathetic publicity stunts.”

Chapter 6 - Guilty Reminders

Howie stared in awe as he watched the graceful Savannah Grace Lorden dance across the full length of the television screen. He was speechless with his jaw hanging ajar, hypnotized by her movements and the swaying of her hips. She was definitely what one would call phenomenon, or rather had been. And she would have been touring with them, dancing behind the scenes with one of them. One way or another, they would have met, only the other option was on good terms in just a couple of weeks with her still being a huge fan of their music and of them as human beings, not by a sick coincidence of fate which had caused both girls to despise everything that had to do with them...and he did mean everything.

Howie continued to watch Savannah as the scene changed on the tape he’d been given. This one obviously had been a home video of her dancing to their music, an enormous grin on her face which was big and bright enough to light up a room. She dipped her body low in a sexy, seductive move that would be enough to drive any man wild. He felt a pang in his heart at the sight of the carefree, upbeat, confident girl in the video when she turned towards the camera and jumped and began to giggle lightly, her beautiful face blushing, but she continued on dancing, waving to the camera. He felt remorse when once again he realized that this was what would have been an addition...the perfect addition, to the Never Gone tour, in both personality and with her talent. She was nothing like the girl that lay in the hospital bed, for that girl was sad, somewhat negative and had a chip on her shoulder holding a grudge against the world. And he didn’t blame her. He understood all the more now where everyone was coming from with her talent. Her parents must have been so proud, and him and the Boys had taken that away. He felt as if he were going to throw up and wondered if Mrs. Lorden had actually brought the tapes intended for him to see, knowing that he’d be there.

Followed by that stream of thoughts, he wondered if Savannah was out of surgery yet. She’d just been going in when he’d arrived, and an hour later when he’d left, she was obviously still in the surgery. It was expected to last between eight and twelve hours, depending on just how much damage had been done. It was a good nine hours later. He couldn’t help but wonder how she was doing, and wanted more than anything to go to the hospital and visit, seeing for himself. He deemed that a bad idea and out of the question though with her parents around. They didn’t want her there, so he figured he’d go in a few days and check her out for himself. His mind wouldn’t be at ease until he did.

He continued to watch her dance, each video in chronological order getting better and better. The one he was currently watching had the date of July 27, 2003...she would have been eighteen. Her talent continued to grow through the months and years, making her angelic posture and gracefulness break his heart all the more.

"Damnit," he murmured, turning the video cassette off, staring at the now blank screen of the TV. He couldn’t bear to watch any longer, for the guilt as building up at an impossible rate. He bowed his head low, putting it in his hands. He shook his head sadly as he let out a muffled scream of frustration.

The nurses, doctors, Savannah and Savannah’s parents were all right. He had destroyed her. They had destroyed her. Both of the girls, for that matter. There was no turning back time, and now Savannah’s talent had gone to waste in a single accident that nobody had seen coming on that bright, sunny Florida day out on the water. Something both parties had loved had turned in to a nightmare in an instant. It was funny how things worked out...sometimes not even for the better.

Howie was distracted by a knock on his front door. He sighed and got up, going to answer it. He was surprised to find Kevin on the other side. The older man looked distressed and troubled at mind. His dark hair was disheveled as if he’d not combed it for some time and his clothing wrinkled as if he'd slept in them. Kevin was usually a neat freak, so his appearance was both startling and disturbing.

"Hey Kev," Howie greeted, "C’mon in."

Kevin entered Howie*s home without a word, making his way in to the living room where Howie had been watching the videos just minutes before. He sat down on the couch, Howie following and plopping down on a reclining chair caddy corner from him. They stared at one another for a moment, Howie finding Kevin’s attitude odd.

"So, what are you up to?" Kevin asked casually.

"Watching some videos Savannah’s mother gave me of her dancing." Howie replied, seeing Kevin roll his eyes, "She was...incredibly amazing. Want to see them?"

"No, I’d rather not." Kevin replied, his body tensing at the mention of it, his features hardening and darkening. He’d come to hang out and forget everything, not be bothered with it first thing in the door.

"I really think you should..." Howie boldly countered, "You all should..."

"Howie, just drop it, okay?" Kevin snapped, interrupting the younger man, his eyes blazing in Howie’s direction.

"What’s your problem?" Howie questioned, "Did I tell you what her mother said to me?" he didn’t wait for a reply, for he was irritated and thought Kevin should know the true effect they’d had on the girls as well as their families, "She said that she wished we had killed her daughter, because the life we left her with isn’t even a life at all. Dancing was her life and we took that from her. Doesn’t that make you feel bad at all?"

"No. And to answer to her mothers comment, maybe they should have died then," Kevin retorted grumpily, "It would have been better for everyone. We wouldn’t have to kiss ass to get back our reputations, which by the way the fans are already turning their noses up. We have to work that much harder now to gain back what we lost, and it's not going to be an easy task as it is."
Howie shook his head in utter disgust by the older man, eyeing him up and down as if he had a contagious disease that could be spread by being in the same room. This was not the Kevin that he was used to and had grown up with. This man was a monster. An unfeeling, spineless monster. It was obvious that they just didn’t understand each other, which was driving a wall between the group.

"How can you be so cold?" Howie asked, his cheeks flaming up from anger, "How can you act like you don’t care one bit?"

"Because I don’t. Did you hear about what that stupid bitch Rina, or whatever the fuck her name is said to me?" Kevin asked, his voice loud and thunderous, "She treated me like a post man...a low life mail delivery person. I am not a fucking labor worker. I am a leading musician in the entertainment industry who has spent blood and tears getting to where I am today. I don*t appreciate being treated like a common blue collar worker who just gets up in the morning and goes."

Howie rolled his eyes. Kevin’s comments had been beyond low. He didn’t understand how he could be so heartless to hourly employees, and knock them down as if they were dirt in between the grooves on the bottoms of his expensive shoes. What he really didn’t understand was why Kevin was being such a pig about the women. They’d done nothing wrong. He didn’t know if it was a pride thing, or if Kevin felt so guilty that it was turning him in to this un-emotional rodent. Either way, it was not appealing.

"Whatever happened to the Kevin who had a heart of gold...what ever happened to all of us that did. Am I the only one who still has it? Has fame really affected your heads along with your wallets?" Howie asked incredulously, "Tell me, Kev...because up until now, I felt we’d all stayed down to earth and level-headed."

"Don’t you dare call me stuck up," Kevin seethed, "If it weren’t for their boat being in the way...how can I sympathize with that?"

"You don’t own the water, Kevin. You’re not God, by far, and quite frankly, if you were, I’d be losing my faith mighty quickly. So quit acting like you‘re better than the rest of the world. They had every right to be there, and if Nick hadn’t been so hammered, his judgment would have been clearer. If anything, it is..." Howie’s voice trailed off, "You know what? Screw it. Never mind. I’m not going to repeat myself to you again. It’s useless."

Kevin crossed his arms over his chest and fumed. If it had been a cartoon, Howie would have seen steam coming from the man’s ears. He could almost picture horns and a devils tale attached to him. That’s exactly what Kevin was to him right then...Satan’s Advocate.

"They’re bitches who expect the world to end just because they got a couple of boo-boo’s. Cry me a river." Kevin spat, "And now we have to pay because of it or else they’ll go crying to the press that the Backstreet Boys gave them a headache and a broken leg."

Howie looked at Kevin in complete disbelief. He couldn’t believe the words he was hearing, nor did he want to. He shook his head. It was more than just a broken leg and a headache, and Kevin knew it. He was just too much of a prick to accept it and take responsibility for all of their faults and be compassionate, as were Nick, Brian and A.J. He wanted to do physical damage to Kevin more than anything at that moment, but two things held him back. One, he wasn’t the violent type, and two, Kevin was twice his size and could quickly take over and murder him if he really wanted to. At that moment, Howie wasn’t so sure that Kevin wouldn’t do just that either.

"Don’t speak to me right now. I’ve lost all respect for you." Howie stated, getting up and walking away from a man he*d used to admire. He wasn’t going to kick Kevin out of his home, but he’d assume not be in the same room as him.

“That’s just fine by me," Kevin shouted after him, "Because I never even asked for it."

*~*~*

Dear Savvy

Hi, it’s me...Ann. I*m still stuck in ICU. Howie came to visit me yesterday with A.J. I kicked them out. They’ve got nerve...thinking an ‘I’m sorry’ can make everything all better. Oh well...its all for publicity. I’m sure they were just as thrilled to be there as I was to have them...sarcasm, by the way.

Excuse my poor handwriting, as I have to do this one handed. My one arm is on fire from the burn...it*s wrapped in gauze and all that jazz. I’m afraid to see what it looks like and I am groggy all of the time. It really sucks, which is why I am trying to get this written quickly...because I’ll likely be asleep again in another hour or so tops.

I miss you tons, girl. I wish I could see you, and we could be there for each other...other than just through notes and short phone conversations. I wish you would tell me what’s going on with you...cuz I know its something. I care about you so much and even though you say it’s nothing, I can hear in your voice it is. I*ll be there for you every step of the way...we’re gonna need the support of each other.

I’ve been wanting to tell you for some time now that I am really sorry for everything. It is my fault that you’re going through whatever you are, but I hope that whatever it is isn’t life-altering. But it really is my fault and I feel so guilty, because if I hadn’t rented the boat for the day in celebration of your accomplishment, it wouldn’t have happened. So please don’t be mad at me, but if you are, I don*t blame you. I luv ya...again, I am so unbelievably sorry.

I’m going to go now...please write me back. I’d give you a hug and all if I could, but this is all I can do for now.

Oh, Kevin is here...he told me he doesn’t even want to be. Real sweetheart, huh? What I wonder is why he even bothered to show up. Oh well...probably best I don*t know the answer. I can’t believe I ever thought he was true and the most amazing man ever to grace the planet. Guess it*s good I am seeing him for his true colors...and all of them. Just kinda sad...one of the huge things that made us so happy turns out to be nothing but a fraud. Oh well...shit happens. Well, feel better soon, Savvy. I’m thinking of you.

Love, Ann

Tears welled in Savannah’s eyes as her mother read the note to her from her best friend. She was just beginning to become somewhat alert again from the anesthesia that had knocked her out for so long. It was the day after her surgery and she was in more pain then she could ever say. Thankfully, she was given morphine as well as a couple of other prescription pills.

"Ann cares about you so much, honey," Mrs. Lorden said with a light smile, "I’m glad you’re friends."

"Me too, Momma," Savannah replied, "I need to write her back..." her voice trailed off. Rhiannon had no clue that she’d had surgery, so if it took her a few days to reply, Savannah knew that her friend would jump to conclusions of the absolute worst possible scenario.

"She’ll understand," her mother stated as if reading her daughters mind, "You’ll probably be feeling up to it by tomorrow."

"Probably," Savannah winced, a frown set upon her face, "I can’t believe Kevin actually admitted to not wanting to be there with her..." she shook her head in disgust. So much for get well visits.

Mrs. Lorden shrugged, "Don’t let it stress you." she told Savannah, then her eyes lit as she bent down and picked up something large filled with gifts wrapped in tissue paper, "That Howie wanted me to deliver these to you...he was here, but left." she paused, "I’m still angry with him for what he took part in, but I do think he is sorry."

"It’s all part of their publicity plan to keep up their good image," Savannah muttered, taking the basket from her mothers arms, "He doesn’t mean it."

She slowly picked up the gift on top, staring at it blankly for a long moment before slowly unpeeling the violet tissue paper off of it. She gasped as she found herself staring at a snow globe with dolphins swimming around on the inside of it. The water was a light tint of blue with small sand grains as the snow as well as some tiny sea shells. Along the base were diamonds...real diamonds, she could tell, for they sparkled in just the right way by the way the light hit it, reflecting off of them.

"How did he know?" Savannah whispered, wondering how he'd figured out her love for dolphins and the marine life. Her eyes turned dark though, remembering that it meant nothing. She placed it back in the paper and crinkled it around the globe, stuffing it back in to the basket forcefully. She handed the basket to her mother, "Put it somewhere...where I don*t have to look at it."

"Savvy!?" her mother exclaimed, "I understand you’re upset, but..."

"But nothing, Momma," Savannah cried out, "Don’t you get it? He doesn’t care about little ole me or Ann. He’s just doing it in hopes to get a pretty picture of him in a magazine...to save his own ass. They’re obligation gifts. Just...put them in my closet back home and I’ll look at them on a rainy day when I’ve got nothing better to do. But for right now, I don’t want any of it. Yes, it’s beautiful, but it came from a pig. Somebody I want nothing to do with who keeps prying his nose in where it doesn’t belong because him and the band just don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. God forbid they lose a fan or two. How could you even begin to defend them after everything?"

Mrs. Lorden sighed. She figured that Savannah was right. Her daughter had always had a knack for seeing people for who they truly were. She tried to see good in everybody, but obviously there was no good in these five men. She reached out and rubbed Savannah's hand, seeing her trembling form. She too hated the men with a passion for doing this to the two best friends, and if Savannah wanted to be ungrateful for the gifts, then she had every right to be.

"Calm down, honey. You just had surgery and probably shouldn’t be getting so worked up. It’s not healthy."

Savannah took in a few deep breaths as she slowly eased down her anxious heart beat. A few tears fell from her eyes. She hated feeling sorry for herself under normal circumstances, but these definitely weren’t what one would call normal circumstances. She missed her best friend, she missed her part time job she had outside of dancing, but she missed her old life more than anything because that was something that, no matter how hard she tried, she’d never be able to get back.

Chapter 7 – Taking a Stand

“I’m thinking I look damn good in this photograph. This absolutely has to be submitted with the package of goodies to the media! Every Nick Carter Fan needs to see this beautiful face at this exact profile!” Nick announced with a whistle of approval, waving a photograph toward Kevin as if he were a child showing his parent an excellent paper.

“We’re supposed to be finding photographs proving that we’re actually visiting the girls at the hospital. Not photographs that enhance your conceitedness,” Kevin scowled, throwing the photograph back at Nick with a shake of his head. The boys were currently closed off Jives headquarters, reviewing the various photographs their chief publicists had accumulated of them visiting the Orlando Hospital. They were asked to decide which photographs reflected the best on their statements that they were doing everything in their power to assure the women were well taken care of. Only, the boys were having trouble finding proper photographs of themselves in various portions of the hospital that would prove they were actually visiting. Though, needless to say, annoyance rose amongst the guilty four as a plethora of photographs surfaced with a compassionate Howie switching between each hospital room.

“You know, you’d have an easier time finding ones of yourselves if you actually tried to visit the girls,” Howie murmured, noticing a pile of his individual photographs growing thicker as the others’ piles waned pathetically. However, Howie felt no empathy for the men growing irritated with their lack of false evidence. They deserved the anger and discourse developing in their physically able bodies, because they still felt nothing for the women they had nearly destroyed. If anything, the boys were still more concerned about their careers than helping others which was what their music was about in the beginning. If anything, their drastic change with success had drastically thrown Howie into an upheaval against his best friends and band-mates.

“Sorry that we’re not trying to attain Sainthood by way of these women unlike you, Howie,” Kevin was quick to counter, throwing a sharp glare toward the second oldest man. If anything, Howie’s subordination was beginning to aggravate him more than the unappreciative women. Since the accident, Howie had been quick to withdraw from any activities that had been considered joyous when the boys gathered together as friends. If anything, Howie just made his appearances for the various events that were deemed necessary to their careers and even then his facial features displayed his displeasure prominently. It was only a short amount of time before the media caught hold of the band’s rift by means of some silly accident, which caused Kevin a severe amount of distress. He was doing everything in his power to keep his career afloat and would be damned if Howie ruined all his planning because a sudden growth of his conscience.

“I’m not trying to attain Sainthood! I’m trying to do what is right for these women!” Howie finally exploded, unable to shield his disappointment and frustration and further. He had done his best to keep away from the men for obvious reasons, knowing that his hatred and disappointment continued to grow with every meeting. Instead, Howie focused all his attention on the women resting in the two separate hospital rooms, hoping somehow that they would come to accept his help. He felt obligated to ensure their safety and well being because of his moral background, not because of his bank account. Yet, each time he glanced to his longtime friends, he could only see their manipulation and scheming to keep tight hold on the purse strings of their fans. And that cold calculation in their eyes was causing Howie to honestly rethink his relationship with each and every man.

“But not what’s right for your friends and band-mates?!”

“What do you guys actually need?! What could I possibly do right by you? Last time I checked every single one of us came away from that crash without a scratch. We’re all perfectly healthy and living our lives like nothing even happened. Hell, Nick even managed to avoid jail! What could you possibly need from me?!”

“We need your commitment to this group!”

“I have been nothing but committed to this group from the day we started!”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Then why haven’t you accepted one damn invitation we give you to come over to our houses to actually enjoy ourselves before any obligations we might have to the business?”

“Why should I?! We almost killed two people, Kevin!”

“Because you owe us that much!”

“And what do we owe those women that have been lying in a hospital for over two weeks?!”

“Nothing!”

“How can you honestly say that? Have you all finally grown into heartless bastards with the last increases in our paychecks? What happened to actually caring about the world and people who were in need of our help? When did we get so much better than two women who had everything going for them before Nick decided to be an idiot—”

“Look, guys, this isn’t about who has the bigger angel wings!” Brian exclaimed in surprise, not really expecting the peacemaker of their group to explode violently at the fatherly figure of their group. He became dangerously aware of Kevin’s hands contorting into sharp, powerful fists as Howie’s body tensed with disgust and possibly an urge to bolt from the entire situation. Trying to make peace as Nick and AJ remained dangerously quiet; Brian flung a few photographs toward Howie and Kevin. “See? These ones are perfect to submit. We have Nick walking into the hospital. We have AJ and Howie actually talking to a nurse. We have me sitting in the waiting room. We have Kevin sitting in the Clark room while she’s sleeping. And, the final photograph that will win everybody’s hearts is Howie giving that basket of goodies to the Lorden Mother—”

“Fuck it,” Howie actually cursed, reaching to yank the photograph of him and Savannah’s mother from the table. Without any regard for the group, he hurriedly ripped the photograph to shreds, throwing the remaining pieces around the room. He then boosted himself from the mahogany table at such a speed that his expensive chair crashed heavily into the wall. That had been the final nail in the coffin of Howie’s friendship with the men. The very idea that they would subject his heartfelt gesture to the mockery of the media tore large chunks of muscle away from his golden heart. He couldn’t stand to let Savannah think that his intentions were nothing but genuine.

“Sit your ass down, Howie,” Kevin demanded.

“No!” Howie growled, moving toward the door in a stalk of disgust. “I’m not going to be a part of this. You submit the photographs to the magazines, but don’t you dare submit a single photograph of me! I don’t want to be part of this lie. It’s not fair to Savannah or Rhiannon. They’re human beings for God’s sake!”

“That’s suicide, Howie,” AJ breathed in dismay. “The media murder you alive if they get photographs of us at the hospital and not any of you. They’ll blame you for everything—”

“I don’t care! I honest to God don’t care what they say about me. The only thing that matters is what Rhiannon and Savannah think about me. I’m not doing it for the publicity. I’m actually doing it for the right reasons,” Howie growled, throwing a video tape marked Savvy 2004-2005 onto the table. “I suggest you watch that and then try to call me and say we don’t owe that girl a damn thing.”

*~*~*

“I promise I’ll be okay. Just at least give me a half hour to visit with her,” Rhiannon begged softly as her nurse helped her from the wheelchair, allowing her to stand just in front of Savannah’s hospital room. She took several deep breaths, somewhat relieved that the expansion of her lungs didn’t hurt significantly. Two weeks had passed since the accident and Rhiannon’s increased cranial pressure had stabilized to normalcy with the aggressive IV medications. Since the decrease in pressure against her brain tissue, Rhiannon had experienced a momentous increase in her alertness, finding that she wasn’t dozing off as quickly during the day. Though, Rhiannon was quick to remind herself that she wasn’t cleared from the woods just yet. She still experienced severe nausea, terrible headaches, personality changes, and long periods of confusion after being roused from sleep. And her left arm was still extremely tender with the burns and became more painful as she was thrown into a lengthy program of physical therapy to assure that there would be no permanent disabilities as the skin began to regenerate.

“If either of you need anything, make sure to hit her call bell,” the nurse warned.

“Of course,” Rhiannon promised, clearing her head of depressing thoughts. She had been making such a significant recovery that her doctor had finally permitted that she could visit Savannah for a short while. And that small allowance was like a field trip to Heaven for Rhiannon, because she was missing Savannah terrible. She had also been so fearful of Savannah’s condition since Kevin’s nasty comments, realizing that something indeed wasn’t right with her friend. And, unfortunately her fears were confirmed as she stepped into the dim room, bracing herself against the nearby wall for support. “Savvy…”

Savannah jerked from her troubled sleep at the sound of Rhiannon’s voice, which only intensified the pain expanding from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. The doctor had just popped her shoulder back into place a few hours ago, giving her a mild sedative to make the transition easier. Only, when she roused from her slumber, the reminders of the procedure were quick to announce their presence. Her lovely face contorted into a look of sheer agony, doing her best to hold her right arm which had been settled into a sling for proper healing. Only, that didn’t even seem to alleviate the pain as her leg was quick to remind her of the second surgery attempted on her battered leg the previous evening. Again, Savannah wished to God that she could just stay the darkness of slumber permanently without ever having to feel this type of misery.

“Savvy, please,” Rhiannon was quick to beg, moving to the chair that had been placed at Savannah’s bedside. Her hands trembled as she reached to smooth away the light blonde curls that had fallen away from Savannah’s braided pigtails. Heavy tears started to fall down Rhiannon’s cheeks as a hard throb invaded the back of her skull from the intense emotions. Savannah’s appearance was startling for Rhiannon, especially since she hadn’t been fully informed of Savannah’s injuries. The younger woman looked like a map of a vicious war. Various shades of bruising covered her body to compliment the various lacerations and brush burns from the deadly collision. Her right arm was wrapped tightly within a sling to prevent another dislocation of her shoulder. And the bulky remains of her graceful leg were hidden beneath a heavy immobilizer that stretched from her ankle to where her leg connected with her thigh. It was hard for Rhiannon to connect this wrecked woman with her memory of a vibrant and energetic Savannah. Yet, despite her disbelief, this indeed was her Savannah.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t see me like this,” Savannah confessed after several moments of silence, trying to grapple with the intensity of her discomfort before attempting to speak. Slowly, she allowed her heavy eyes to part to glance toward Rhiannon. For a moment, relief washed over her aching body as she was actually able to look into Rhiannon’s dark eyes, remembering the small flecks of green that always shimmered within the lighting. Savannah actually managed a smile, thankful to see her friend sitting at her bedside despite her injuries. Though, it was obvious that Rhiannon was using all of her energy just to remain in Savannah’s room. Her eyes seemed darker with the heavy bruising beneath them that indicated her head injury while her cheeks still flushed with the fever remaining from the pneumonia. Her left arm was wrapped lightly in gauze to prevent any infection that might occur with the burn exposed. But most significant was the fact that the older woman had hid her long, beautiful, chocolate locks back with a bandana to conceal the shaved portions of her scalp that the doctors had needed to insert her intracranial monitor.

“Did you really think that you could hide this from me?” Rhiannon choked, reaching to grasp Savannah’s left hand.

“Like I said, I was hoping, but you’re too damn nosy,” Savannah teased lightly.

“Does it hurt?”

Savannah grimaced with a soft laugh. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

“No…” Rhiannon blushed. “Sorry, Savvy. I was just so worried…”

“I’m fine. I was honestly more worried about you.”

“But your leg…”

“I’m going to dance again, Ann.”

“But…” Rhiannon let the rest of her sentence drop from her mouth, unable to crush any remaining strength that was left in Savannah’s vivacious personality. Instead, Rhiannon shifted her gaze downward as Savannah released her hand to clear away the tears from her bruised cheeks without fear of humiliation. Savannah had always done her best to remain strong in front of Rhiannon, even when her entire world was falling apart. Rhiannon knew that Savannah was trying to save as much of her dignity as possible, so she continued to attempt to glance around the room while Savannah composed herself. And, while glancing at the piles of flowers and cards from their friends, family, and various loved ones, Rhiannon noticed a large gift basket. Carefully, she rose from her seat to inspect the beautiful basket.

“I don’t even know why Momma kept that here,” Savannah announced, noticing Rhiannon’s curiousness over the assortment of gifts.

“Savvy, it’s gorgeous,” Rhiannon breathed, reaching to withdraw a soft, stuffed, chenille dolphin that she immediately placed to her cheek for the lovely feeling of the fabric. “Who—”

“No one important.”

“Savvy,” Rhiannon chided, locating an unopened card within the beautiful gifts. She traveled back to her seat with the card and stuffed dolphin. Settling the dolphin into her lap, she opened the card to read it aloud. “Savannah, I know I’m not exactly your most favorite person in the world at the moment, but I refuse to let your sour disposition keep me from what I think is right. I’m extremely sorry for what happened to Rhiannon and you. Words cannot even begin to describe the guilt I feel about what happened… But, I doubt that’s exactly what you want to be hearing at this moment… So, I hope that you’re not thinking I’m trying to buy your silence with this basket. I simply wanted to get you something that you’d enjoy and I hope that your surgery was successful. And please let me know if you need anything, I’ll surely deliver. Sincerely, Howie.”

“What a load of sh—”

“Savvy,” Rhiannon interrupted, holding out the beautiful dolphin for Savannah to cuddle. “I think he might actually be really trying here.”

Chapter 8 - Angry Accusations

“She is pretty good...” Brian’s voice trailed of softly as he watched the video with the other three Boys, “In fact...she’s extremely good.” His words lingered in the air with a sense of regret that was causing discomfort amongst the others.

It was three days later and, out of nowhere, AJ had decided they should take a look at the Savvy 2004-2005 video that Howie had thrown in their direction like an obligation they owed to the girl. Howie wasn’t around at the moment though, in fact, he really hadn’t been around at all since the large argument that they’d had and the harsh words he had exchanged with Kevin. It was safe to say that the band versus Howie were not on good terms at all. None of them looked overly pleased to be actually watching the video, though. And it was obvious that AJ regretted putting it in to the VCR by the look on his face, for none of them still cared all that much, if at all. They were just humoring themselves.

“Was good,” Kevin corrected harshly before any of the others could comment on the once talented young woman. “She was good... Past tense... Remember, she can’t dance anymore because of her little broken leg.” His words were like venom and his tone sarcastic as if not fully grasping the seriousness of what had happened to Savannah. “I don’t know what the point of this is anyways...to make us feel guilty and like scum? It’s useless...pointless... I don’t want to be a part of it.” He growled lowly before adding, “These women are ruining our lives because Howie just can’t let it go and try to move on like the rest of us are doing. Another couple of visits to them with forced smiles on our faces and we’re going to be home free and will have our respect and good name back...if Howie will agree to that and stop being so fucking nice. If not, we’ll have other problems on our hands. But seriously, that’s all I want...is to forget and he’s making that impossible. He’s wrong... We owe them nothing... If anything, they owe us.”

Kevin’s ranting caused the others to become deathly silent, knowing that if they spoke too soon, they’d be next in line for their own personal ass chewing. Especially if they said something that Kevin disagreed with. The man was extremely temperamental at the moment and nobody dared mess with him.

“I will admit this is making me feel like scum,” Nick muttered finally, deciding to take his chances. “But only because she was good...and Howie is rubbing it in. I’m with Kevin though. I just want to move on and forget everything...the girls, the accident, this chapter of my life.”

Brian pursed his lips together as he continued to watch the tape. Savannah had definitely been elegant. They’d taken that from her. He by far didn’t want to go to the extremes that Howie had taken upon himself to do, but he did feel bad enough to wish that none of it had happened so that Savannah and Rhiannon could get back the lives that they’d been forced to leave behind... Unharmed and scratch-free. Something they were before running into the boys. Brian sighed, Howie definitely wasn’t making this easy on any of them, for his caring nature had the rest of them stressed with worry about themselves more than ever.

“You know,” AJ stated after several minutes of silence, debating whether or not he should speak any further. “I’m caught in the middle of not giving a shit and actually caring slightly.” He shook his head in disgust with himself as if he couldn’t believe he’d said those words aloud and really couldn’t believe he was actually feeling this way.
“Not you too, J...” Kevin groaned. “We don’t need another one of us straying away due to sympathy and being whipped into women.”

Nick snickered at Kevin’s last comment indicating that the second eldest man’s heart had turned to mush. He got a funny image of Howie wearing a wig, lipstick, and a padded bra while dressing in drag. This caused him to laugh even harder out loud. He got several dirty looks in his direction - Kevin’s being the worst - for his inappropriate timing to find humor in what was definitely a serious situation.

“Just what the hell do you find so funny?” he asked the blonde roughly as he grabbed the remote control and violently turned the TV off so none of them could watch any further. “It’s your fault that we’re in this situation.”

Nick’s smile slowly faded into a hurt frown as he looked away from the man who was nearly a decade older. It went without saying that the accident was slowly tearing the band apart, and only coming to some sort of understanding between each other would stop the downward spiral of destruction from happening.

*~*~*

“So, why exactly did you want me to meet you?” Howie asked Rhiannon as he looked nervously around her hospital room. “So you can accuse me and yell at me some more about being a shallow low life?”

“Surprisingly, no,” Rhiannon said softly, a small, sweet smile forming on her lips, “Although I probably should be,” she joked, but when Howie didn’t smile, hers faded, “I wanted to talk to you...tell you...discuss something with you, I guess.”

“Umm, okay.” Howie stated, still afraid of what would come of this conversation. Every time he’d talked to her in the past, she’d kicked him out without a single friendly word.

“Honest,” Rhiannon promised, “Nothing but good this time.”

Howie raised an eyebrow as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He slowly walked towards Rhiannon as if he were unsure of her true motives. He half expected her to reach out and hit him over the back of the head with a bed pan, knocking him out cold as soon as he was right up to her beside. He was shocked to see that she did no such thing, however she kept her calm, cool composure.

“So, um, what did you want to talk about?” Howie asked her wearily.

“Umm....well,” Rhiannon began, “This isn’t easy for me to say...beings I’ve treated you like shit...but, um, I am sorry for that.”

“E...Excuse me?” Howie blanked, looking at her as if she’d grown a second head.

Rhiannon laughed, “I’m sorry. You’ve been nothing but kind...and honestly, you’re the only one. The others have been either rude or their niceness forced. I ummm, I can tell yours is sincere though...now...although before, I thought it was all fake from you too.”

Howie looked dumbfounded. He was completely speechless, as Rhiannon’s words had not been expected at all. He just stared at her for a long moment, trying to decide if it had been real or if he’d blanked out her yelling at him some more.

“You can talk, you know,” Rhiannon laughed, “I’m not going to bite,” Howie still said nothing, “The gifts you got for Savvy were gorgeous. It was really sweet of you.” she smiled warmly at him.

“So she liked them?” Howie asked hopefully.

Adverting her gaze away from him, Rhiannon nibbled on her bottom lip before looking up at Howie with her eyes, “Not quite...ummm...” she paused, “She refused to look at them. Savvy still thinks you’re full of shit...and pretty much hates all five of you’s guts,” Rhiannon grinned devilishly, “I just hate four of you’s guts.”

Howie laughed at her attempt to joke. “Think she’ll ever give me a chance? Since you’re her best friend and all...maybe you’d know?”

Rhiannon shrugged, “I don’t know. Savannah can be pretty stubborn...if she does, it will take awhile and you’ll really have to prove to her you are not some sleazy creep who’s just after good publicity. I’d honestly be willing to bet though that in a couple weeks time, you’ll be irresistible to her. You were, after all, her favorite...before all of this.”

“You think?” Howie asked, his brown eyes lighting up and sparkling. It was obvious that he had some sort of attraction towards Savannah despite her coldness.

“Sure.” Rhiannon smiled at him, “You’ll just have to do whatever it takes to prove that you’re not an ass clown like the rest of the pod.”

“I think you’ll both see that in a few days after seeing the magazine headlines,” Howie muttered under his breath, knowing that the other Boys would do just as he asked and submit their Godly photographs minus his own.

They were right. He was destroying himself, but he didn’t care.

“What was that?” Rhiannon asked, puzzled.

“Oh, um, nothing.” Howie replied, “Well, thanks for giving me a chance.”

“No, thank you for being so honestly kind...and not giving up. You’re one of a kind...especially for being a celebrity,” Rhiannon frowned, “If only Kevin was as nice as you...cuz then I could still like him.”

“Kevin’s an asshole.” Howie spat, “They all are. It just took me twelve years to see it, unfortunately.”

Rhiannon was about to reply when an image appeared in her doorway. She looked to see that it was Savannah, slowly creeping just inside the doorway in a wheelchair, her leg propped up in what looked to be an uncomfortable contraption. She eyed Rhiannon cautiously before looking Howie up and down as if he were a walking disease.

“Want me to kick him out?” Savannah asked.

“Actually....I asked him here,” Rhiannon stated, “I wanted to talk to him about something.” she smiled in Howie’s direction, hoping that
Savannah might be decent towards him for the time being. Savannah was less than pleased though with the gesture.

“Oh, so now you’re going behind my back and talking to him let alone being nice?” Savannah cried out in frustration as well as intense anger, “I thought you were my best friend and would be there for me. But I guess it turns out you’re a back-stabber and just go along with everybody to get them to like you, no matter what. You’re making a huge mistake, because Howard the Great,” she spat the last word out in sarcasm, “Will screw you over again and you’ll have nobody.”

Savannah spun around in the wheelchair she was in with a quick motion and rolled herself out of Rhiannon’s room without another word before either had the rightful opportunity to stop her. Howie and Rhiannon stared at the now empty doorway speechless. Not one thing came to mind, for her reaction wasn’t expected, and had stung Rhiannon. She’d never hurt her best friend, but apparently she had without that intention. She turned to Howie and bit her lip nervously, her eyes holding worry.

“You might want to rethink that bet.” Howie stated, his voice holding the same note that the girl’s facial expression did. Rhiannon nodded. She’d possibly lost the best person to come in to her life. She hoped that Savannah would give her the chance to explain and forgive her. Until that happened though, she had a feeling that both her and Howie would have something new on their minds that would add stress to their lives.

*~*~*

‘Sweet D’ Backstreet Boy Really a Hoax?

Backstreet Boy With Soft Heart Nowhere to be Seen.

Injured Women Without Visit from Mr. Dorough.

Howie sighed as he continued to read the bashing headlines against his reputation in the news stand, each accompanied with a photo of him alone, most of which were from previous photo shoots. After all, he was ‘nowhere to be seen’ lately. He’d known that they would come, and he still didn’t care, other than he was giving the others the satisfaction that they wanted. For him to fail miserably and fall on his face. They were waiting for him to come crawling back, begging for forgiveness and for them to help him get back his good name. That wouldn’t happen though. He’d already told them that he’d rather have the respect of the girls that had been injured on their behalf than the public’s approval, and he was sticking to that.

Howie stood in deep thought for a moment. What had once been his four best friends were now four complete strangers whom he’d rather not know. They were without sympathy, only caring for themselves. Howie wondered how they’d gained the reputation of all being ‘Golden Hearted’. He found it ironic, and as a result, he was left to walk alone.

He must have been dozed off staring at the magazines, for he was distracted by something out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head and saw a group of three teenage girls staring at him with scowls on their faces.

“PIG,” one of them chided, as another spit on him. The third girl glared at him with fire in her eyes as if he didn't deserve to live.

Howie just turned and walked away, figuring it was no use to argue against them as he wiped the wad of saliva off of him. He could feel their eyes burning in to the back of him. It was his word against the media’s and he knew that this was just the beginning of the kinds of reactions he’d get from all kinds. Nobody would believe that he was the good one and the others were frauds. He knew in his heart what the truth was and that would have to be good enough. He hoped with time that things would be set straight, but if not, at least he would know he’d made a difference to two women, and at the moment, that was all he cared about.

Chapter 9 – A Step in Blind Faith

Rhiannon was hesitant as she rapped lightly upon Savannah’s hospital room door, wondering if she should even risk the chance of her best friend’s volatile temper. After all, Savannah had been so furious that Rhiannon had purposely invited Howie into her room for a tenderhearted chat and demanded that Rhiannon never look upon her again. Though, as much as it hurt Rhiannon, she understood that Savannah’s temper was displaced against her as a protective measure for Savannah’s gentle heart. It was obvious that something else was troubling Savannah more so than Rhiannon’s choice to invite Howie into her hospital room. Not to say that Savannah wasn’t displeased with Rhiannon’s choice of trusting Howie, but it had merely been a catalyst for the real cause of Savannah’s anguish and hysteria.

But, despite the knowledge of Savannah’s quirks, Rhiannon had followed Savannah’s wishes, deciding it was best to let her vent alone for the time being. And after a week of avoidance, Rhiannon was finally allowed to be discharged from the hospital. She was still considerably weak from the mending pneumonia and only walked a few feet before bracing herself against a wall to catch her breath and the headaches were tremendously unbearable at points. She had also actually considered just leaving the hospital without a word to Savannah, but quickly decided against it once she heard Savannah was due for yet another surgery the following evening. Rhiannon didn’t exactly understand the entire process of fixing Savannah’s mutilated leg, but knew it was terribly frightening for Savannah. So, she decided to visit in good faith, hoping that Savannah would be the bubbly ‘Savvy’ that Rhiannon cherished so.

“Savvy?” Rhiannon called finally when she received no answer from Savannah. Thinking that the girl must have dozed off from the high doses of pain medication, Rhiannon carefully slipped through the door as she made sure not to bump her burned arm that had been splinted with a special device that would protect her and prevent her skin from healing in such a way that would freeze her shoulder in a locked position for the rest of her life. But, Rhiannon hadn’t been prepared to see Savannah sobbing openly, her left arm resting neatly in the sling as her right hand covered her already mottled face with extreme depression. It was a hard shock to absorb against Rhiannon’s faithful heart, because Savannah was always careful to hide the most sensitive portions of her emotions. It was a defensive mask that she used to conceal herself even from Rhiannon when times were rough. She thought that it was a sign of weakness and hated to have people worrying about her. Only, this time, she was caught in the act. “Savvy—”

“What are you doing here?” Savannah sniffled sharply with surprise, fumbling to reach her remote control. She hurriedly clicked off the video tape her mother had sent, but Rhiannon had already seen what it was. Thinking that it would help, Mrs. Lorden had dropped off a recent video of Savannah’s professional dancing. The first video was Mariah Carey’s ‘It’s Like That’ video. Savannah had been the prized background dancer portrayed throughout the entire video, almost as if she were best friends with the popular singer. Mariah Carey had praised Savannah the entire shoot, demanding to send her out to all her friends currently working on various music videos. And, no one had ever thought to bad mouth Mariah Carey’s praise because Savannah had a rare talent that no one else could possibly exhibit. Despite all the hard work she folded into dancing, she made the act look easy with a beautiful flawlessness that couldn’t be matched by any dancer. But most important was that Mariah Carey’s video was what made Fatima decide without a doubt that Savannah was to be included in the Never Gone Tour without evening having to audition.

Only, to see the tape again was just a bitter reminder of what she had lost in such a brief moment of happiness. Everything she had worked so hard to accomplish in life was shattered along with her painful leg. It was a hard concept to absolve, because Savannah centered her entire identity on her ability to dance. When anyone spoke of her, she was known as the ‘beautiful dancer.’ Now, when they would refer to her, she would be considered the ‘crippled dancer that could have been something special.’ To see her life placed in past tense was terrifying, especially since she was only twenty with an entire future ahead of her. She was scared. And she couldn’t keep her composure any longer, just breaking down with heavy sniffles and painful sobs before Rhiannon had interrupted.

“I came to see you before I got discharged,” Rhiannon answered, quickly realizing that Savannah’s disability was plaguing her more than she had originally thought. Savannah had been so determined that she’d dance again when Rhiannon had first visited. Her confidence had led Rhiannon to believe that it wasn’t impossible, so she hadn’t worried about the injury. Though, now she was starting to realize that the mangled leg was more serious than Savannah had originally stated.

“Then you should be home. I don’t want you here—”

“You don’t want anyone here, but you need people here, Savvy.”

“Ann—”

“I know you’re going to be able to dance again, Savvy,” Rhiannon blurted, seating herself at the bedside again as dizziness attacked. Carefully, she gripped the side-rails of the bed, hoping that Savannah would take her words to heart. “Don’t let them tell you otherwise. You’re too special and too talented to believe these idiotic doctors. It’s going to take awhile just to get back to walking. I’m not dumb, I understand that much. But, that should just make you more determined to go back to what you were. To prove them wrong. To prove that—”

“Kevin was right when he said I was just a little cry baby upset that I might not be able to wear a miniskirt to show off my cute legs for awhile?” Savannah interrupted with a bitter tone of sarcasm.

“I wasn’t exactly thinking that, Savvy…”

“He sent me more flowers and junk.”

“Kevin?”

“No,” Savannah laughed, obviously amused with Rhiannon’s devastated face. She slowly motioned toward the gifts practically exploding from every corner of her lonely hospital room. “Howie sent me some more junk. He thinks if I start totaling up the bills that I might be able to forgive his sorry ass for what happened to me.”

“It’s not like that, Savvy.”

“Then what’s it like?”

“He honestly cares about what happened.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Savannah scoffed, obviously over her spat with Rhiannon. Instead, she focused on the music group that she had hoped would boost her career higher than ever. They would have been her first extended tour around the country, but they had robbed her blind of everything. It just seemed typical of a man. “He’s just working another angle. I don’t know why you’re starting to fall into his pathetic lies, Ann—”

“Because they’re not lies, Savvy. It’s his honest-to-God heart and I wish you’d believe me,” Rhiannon answered, plopping several heavy magazines onto Savannah’s tender lap for proof, finding it slightly astounding that she was defending a man that nearly killed her a few weeks ago.

*~*~*

Exhaling sharply, Howie eased himself down onto his king-sized bed as he stared at the small scrap of paper holding Rhiannon and Savannah’s home number. On a whim, Howie searched through the phone book after he learned of Rhiannon’s discharge from the hospital. Surprisingly, he had located both of the girls’ numbers, which ended up being identical. Though, Howie wasn’t surprised to find that the girls shared what he assumed was a beautiful home together. The magazines had indicated that they were the best of friends and did absolutely everything together. Rhiannon had even been known to get a lot of the make-up gigs with the music videos Savannah danced in. It just seemed natural that they would love to live together in what AJ might call a constant ‘sorority party.’ But, staring at the slip of paper that held what he thought of as a life-line, he became unsure of his purpose. He had hoped to have the courage to call her, knowing that Savannah was still furious with what she considered his missed intentions. He hoped that he could continue to make peace with Rhiannon, figuring that Savannah would hopefully follow suit. Though, now he began to wonder if he had made the right choice by finding the phone number. Maybe she just wanted to be left in peace.

“Hello?”

Howie squeaked in horror when a soft, feminine voice projected into his ear without the slightest bit of warning. He hurriedly glanced down to see the phone already off its base and attached between the crook of his neck and right ear. Howie then reached to give a hard pinch to his skin to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, only to elicit a sharp twinge of pain. He had dialed while weighing the possibilities, making him believe yet again in a higher power that wanted him to continue on this road. “Rhiannon?”

“Yes… May I ask whose calling?”

“Howie…uh… Howie Dorough?”

“Oh! Hi, Howie,” Rhiannon instantly replied, obviously smiling at the other end of the phone.

“I hope I’m not bothering you—”

“No, of course not! I just got home a few hours ago.”

“I heard.”

“Just checking up on me, then?”

“It’s not like that—”

“It wasn’t meant to be critical.”

“Oh…”

“Are you always this nervous on the phone?”

“Only when it comes to two certain women.”

“Yeah, but I already apologized—”

“I know and I was checking up on you. I wanted to know if you needed anything and if—”

“Savvy hasn’t had a change of heart yet.”

“Oh…” Howie trailed again, feeling his ego deflate heavily. He had hoped with the last batch of gifts that she’d understand his tenderhearted nature. Only, it seemed to escalate her furiousness against him and his fading friends. He had even stopped by a few times, but she either berated him with a series of hateful words or feigned a sleeping state. It was frustrating to say the least, but Howie continued pursuing the cause for forgiveness and another emotion that he hadn’t placed just yet.

“She’s having another surgery tomorrow. You could visit again and see if there was any change.”

“Why would there be any change?”

“Because she’s drugged?”

“Rhiannon…” Howie sighed, trying to fight back on a small laugh. He had found that in a week of peace that he had developed a kindred bond with Rhiannon. She reminded him of his sisters, only far younger version of a sister since all his sisters were older than him. She was kind and considerate with just the smallest hint of sarcasm that Howie found warm to his soul. It gave him hope that all had not been lost with the terrible accident.

“Okay, so maybe it’s because I gave her all the magazines that were trashing you mercilessly without even knowing the full story…”

“You gave her…” Howie couldn’t even tempt himself to finish the sentence, knowing exactly what had been spilled out into the press. Every day the headlines worsened as more dirt was dragged away from the previous headlines. It just seemed ridiculous at some points, even if it hurt his pride immensely. But, Howie continued to remind himself that he was taking the higher road in the situation and didn’t need the media’s approval. He only needed the approval of Rhiannon and Savannah. He couldn’t live with himself if he followed in the footsteps of his former friends.

“What happened? If they managed to sneak that many shots of the jerks, how come they could get one lousy shot of you?”

“Because I told them not to…”

“Why?”

“It wasn’t right to make publicity off something that was clearly our fault. It wasn’t fair to exploit you girls just to make ourselves look better to the fans. So, I asked that my pictures be excluded from the layout, no matter what the cost.”

“Oh, Howie…”

“What?”

“I can’t believe you…”

“I know… But, it doesn’t matter, honestly. I know what I did was right, despite what the other guys did,” Howie explained, hoping to take the conversation elsewhere. “And, I honestly wanted to call to make sure you had everything at home. I know you’re not feeling a hundred percent yet, so, I wanted to offer my services.”

Rhiannon was silent for the longest moment, obviously still awed by his princely behavior. But, finally, she spoke. “Is there any way that you can pick me up some cat food for my kitten and Savvy’s kitten along with a good pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? That way you can visit me before you visit Savvy?”

“Sure, I can do that,” Howie agreed, knowing it was the absolute least that he could do for this woman.

*~*~*

“Miss Lorden?”

Savannah lazily glanced up from the local music magazine that had been bashing Howie so critically over the passing days, noticing a balding man standing just inside her doorway. Exhaling at the sharp pains that invaded her body daily, she folded the magazine closed and purposely tossed it against the floor with a hard slap. At first, Savannah considered Howie’s M.I.A. in the magazines as a plot to win her appreciation. But after she passed through the variety of magazines, she quickly began to understand that Howie hadn’t done this for his pride. Instead, he had sacrificed himself to the public as an apology to the girls. He honestly hadn’t wanted them to be used for manipulation of his popularity. Though, as much as she wanted to believe in the golden honesty that seemed to exude from Howie’s heart, Savannah refused to let his career be ruined like hers. She knew that no matter what her thoughts on his personality that he honestly loved performing for others. Music was his life just as much as music was a part of her life and she couldn’t let that be ruined for both of them. So, she had convinced herself to take a step in blind faith, calling the first magazine that published anything having to do with Howie’s so-called selfish behavior. “Are you the guy bashing Howie Dorough left and right all over the tabloids?”

“Mr. Joseph Wright, Miss Lorden,” the man answered, snickering nervously as he withdrew a tape recorder.

“Uh-huh…” Savannah trailed, wondering how the media could be so deceitful in the first place. The other Backstreet Boys had purposely doctored photographs to prove that they were still the mighty golden boys, but when Howie offered no proof of his whereabouts he was immediately condemned to Hell.

“You wanted to speak with me, correct? About the Mr. Dorough situation and how he’s been mistreating you?”

“He hasn’t mistreated me,” Savannah groaned, glancing around to all the lovely gifts Howie had been delivering daily with little notes and phone calls. “If anything, he’s probably one of the best in that damn group. He’s visited me every day in this hospital, no matter what is going on with his job, and he’s bought all of these flowers and gifts in this room. So, I want to make a deal with you, Mr. Wright. You give me a solid promise that you will print my story word for word, no matter what the content says, and I’ll give you the exclusive to what Howie Dorough’s really been doing for Rhiannon and me. And, I’ll even let you get some quotes from the letters and take pictures of the gifts.”

“Miss Lorden—”

“Do you want the story or not?”

“Of course!”

“Then do I have your word?”

“You promise this is one hundred percent accurate?”

“You can check the signatures on the letters if you’re that skeptical. But, do I have your word that my story will be told in my words and no one else’s?”

“Yes, Miss Lorden. Let me go get my photographer.”

Chapter 10 - Changes of Heart

Rhiannon slowly made her way to the door upon hearing the loud doorbell ringing, echoing throughout the quite house.

“I’m coming,” she called, laughing softly to herself.
She was embarrassed that at the young age of twenty-one, she was moving like she was more like seventy-one. She couldn’t help it though, for if she got up too quickly or walked too quickly, she became dizzy with a splitting, pounding headache that made her wish she could lie down and die. She got those at least twice a day when the aspirin wore off and she forgot that she still wasn’t capable of certain things. Slow was the way to go though if she were to survive the day without much complication.

The doorbell sounded again and Rhiannon picked up her pace a little, already regretting it. She stumbled over her own feet, causing her to fall into the wall, lightly banging her injured arm into it. The slight bump was enough to cause immense pain to radiate from her arm throughout her entire body.

“SHIT,” she cursed loudly before regaining her balance, continuing to walk back at her slow pace to the door. “Hold on…I’ll be there sometime this century…promise.”

Not too long after, she finally reached her destination of the front door. She unlocked it and opened up to find Howie - just as she’d anticipated. He was holding a small plastic grocery bag containing the items she’d asked for.

“Special delivery.” Howie grinned, holding up the bag.

Rhiannon laughed, “C’mon in.” She held the door open for the older man as he stepped through the door. She closed it behind him, trying to peek through the thick double bagged items, “Didn’t happen to buy any alcohol, did ya?” she asked, staring up into his eyes.

“I didn’t know I was supposed to?” Howie asked more than stated. His chocolate eyes held confusion, wondering if he’d done something wrong.

“Need it to ease the pain,” Rhiannon stated, sticking her lip out in a pout.

Howie’s eyes widened in surprise, his mind going back to AJ’s incident just a couple of years before. He’d never suspected Rhiannon to be the type to turn to alcohol to drown away her physical or emotional pain. He opened his mouth to speak, but found himself speechless with worry for this girl he barely knew.

“Kidding,” Rhiannon laughed, and she saw Howie exhale the breath he’d been holding in relief. “You should have seen the look on your face though.”

Howie blushed, humiliated that he’d even thought that the sweet, young, small girl before him was capable of alcoholism. “I see we’ve got a jokester,” he observed, and Rhiannon grinned proudly, “But that wasn’t funny.” Howie couldn’t help but smile despite himself though. There was something addicting about her personality. He only hoped that Savannah was the same once she warmed up.

“Thanks for picking up this stuff though,” Rhiannon stated, taking the bag from his hands. He followed her into the kitchen, where she sat the bag on the counter, peeling it open and pulling out a five-pound bag of IAMS cat food. The two cats came running upon her opening up the back as the sound of food pouring in to their bowl called to them like music to their ears. “There ya go, Skylar and Sun Kiss,” she laughed as they both ate out of the bowl at the same time as if they hadn’t been fed in weeks.

“What do you do, starve them?” Howie asked, watching in amazement.

“No!” Rhiannon defended, alarmed that he’d suggest such a thing. “They just eat like, ten times a day.”

Howie laughed, “Kidding. They’re adorable though.”

“They’re our babies.” Rhiannon smiled proudly, “Sun Kiss is Savvy’s…she’s the Himalayan one. Skylar, obviously the Siamese looking one…Tonkanese actually, is mine.”

Howie continued to watch, amused, as Rhiannon dug out the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream from the bag. She was surprised to find four pints of it, each a different flavor. She put three of them in the freezer, keeping one out, Caramel Sutra for herself. She got a spoon out of a drawer, prying the cardboard lid off of the small container. Howie looked back to her just as she dove in to the ice cream, shoveling a huge spoonful in to her mouth.

“Mmmm,” she closed her eyes, taking in the sweetness. “Sugar… The ultimate cure for anything.”

“Damn…how do you keep your figure doing that?”

“Running five miles every morning?” she stated. She reached in to the drawer again, pulling out another Howie, handing it to him, “Help yourself.”
Howie shook his head and laughed. He dug his spoon in to the small carton, bringing up a glob of the creamy goo.

“So anyways…” Rhiannon said through a mouth full, swallowing it down with a wince, “OhhAhhh… Brain freeze.” She pressed her palm to her aching forehead as she squeezed her eyes shut until the numbing freezing pain eased into nothing slowly.

“You’re something else,” Howie shook his head. He paused, wanting to ask the girl something in particular, but was afraid to bring it up. He found himself asking anyways though before he had the fair chance to stop himself, “Have you talked to Savvy since you gave her the articles?”

Rhiannon shook her head, “No…I haven’t. I honestly believe though that her reading them will make a difference.”

Howie shrugged, his face falling slightly. He was impatient to find out whether or not Savannah forgave him yet. He kept in mind that it had been less than a day though…three hours, to be exact, since Rhiannon and he had spoken on the phone. Rhiannon had visited Savvy just hours before that, so in all reality, it had been eight hours tops since she’d been given the articles. Howie figured since Savvy’s surgery wasn’t until the following day during the early afternoon, he’d visit her in the morning to try again and find out herself.

“At least you’re talking and best friends again.” Howie commented, glad that the duo hadn’t been kept mad at one another for long.

“For the most part, anyways…” Rhiannon’s voice trailed off. “She’s still a little irritated that I’m speaking to you, but…I’m thinking my Savvy is gonna start warming up a little bit…towards you at least.” She saw Howie’s face brighten at the sound of that, “Don’t expect miracles first off though.
A ‘hi, how are you’ without you being booted from the room will be warming up.”

Howie smiled, ideas running through his head already. The next morning would be yet another attempt to get Savannah to speak to him. There was a feeling inside of him that said that this time would be different. He’d already gotten one of the women to see the pure good in him and put her trust in him. There was one left to go, but he had a strong feeling that the task wouldn’t be as challenging as it had been during the first seventeen days.

*~*~*

“So that’s the real story?” Mr. Wright asked as he quickly scribbled down the last of what Savannah was saying.

Savannah licked her top lip as she raised her eyes upward in concentration, thinking to see if there had been anything she’d left out. She slowly lowered her eyes back to the older man before her and nodded her head slowly. “Yes, that’s the story,” she told him, seeing his eyes glowing. “You reporters are like hungry dogs…ready to catch anything that comes along without probably cause or with…just attacking, attacking, attacking.”

“Just doing my job, Miss,” he replied, not taking any offense to her words. They were along the kinder things that had been said to him in his years.

“Would you mind repeating to me what you’ve written? To make sure you haven’t twisted my words to get across the point that you want?”

Mr. Wright snickered, letting Savannah know she’d caught him in his plan. He looked down at his pad of paper, his eyes moving back and forth across it reading what he’d put down before reciting it aloud for Savannah to hear.

“You had just found out that you’d made it as a dancer for the Never Gone tour and your friend, Rhiannon rented a house boat for the day to celebrate your accomplishment. Not too long after, a boat comes crashing in to you.” He looked to Savannah, who nodded in approval at what he had so far before he continued. “You suffered from a severely damaged leg, dislocated shoulder among other minor injuries, while Rhiannon had head trauma, pneumonia, second degree burns along her one arm.”

“Blah, blah, blah,” Savannah interrupted, “Everybody knows all of that junk…it was the beginning of the headlines. Get to the stuff that is important…that’s been lied about.”

Mr. Wright nodded, “You say that Howie has visited consistently, bringing gifts, friendly, genuine smiles and nothing but good to the room while the others were obviously just doing it for reputation purposes. They were rude and seemed obligated to even be in your presence. They’ve done nothing in your favor, have not exchanged one kind word and have been greedy, caring only about their reputation…which has driven a barrier between Howie and the other four. The reason Howie’s photos are not in the magazines, including the one I write for, and the others are in there with you, is because Howie asked to be excluded to prove to you and Rhiannon that he is not like them and to gain your trust and respect. The other photos had to be bribed to be taken, but are all a setup?”

“Sounds about right to me,” Savannah informed him, and then smiled sweetly at the man, “However, when I read the article, and find anything misconstrued and twisted, I will come find you and personally kick your ass with my good leg.”

Mr. Wright laughed nervously, seeing that the young, petite girl meant business, and knew if she had the right buttons pushed, she probably would live up to that promise quite nicely. “Don’t worry, Miss Lorden.” He stated, “I don’t think that’ll be necess—you wont be disappointed.” He sputtered, backing slowly out of the room, “Thank you for the story.”

Savannah rolled her eyes, watching him walk from the room. “I better not be,” she muttered to herself. She found his attitude unprofessional, however as long as the truth got out to the world… She didn’t care if he was an immature dimwit. Howie may have still been on her ‘bad’ list, but he didn’t deserve his name to be undeservingly smeared through the mud. Where had all the justice in the world gone?

Though, it hadn’t crossed her mind that ironically, she wasn’t being fair to Howie though.

*~*~*

Howie closed his eyes and took in a deep, hopefully calming breath as he stood outside the doorway of Savannah’s hospital room. Her surgery was scheduled to be in approximately four hours, which gave him plenty of time to talk to Savannah and attempt to win her over once again. He paused for another second before pushing open the door, stepping inside.

“Well look who decided to grace me with his presence,” Savannah stated, not coldly but not enthusiastic either.

Howie laughed nervously, “Well, I, um, wanted to wish you luck with your surgery today in person.” He told her honestly.

Savannah nodded as if she accepted this or was trying to, “I’m kinda glad you stopped by. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about anyways.”
Howie’s brown eyes widened in surprise. He definitely hadn’t been expecting the response, but was happy with it. He hoped it meant that she had forgiven him, but wasn’t going to cross his fingers just yet at the small possibility of that.

“You never give up, do you?” she asked him, amused. Her tone was somewhat kind and soft.

“You’re not going to yell?” Howie asked. Savannah shook her head, “I was, um, kind of hoping you’d forgive me.” Howie fidgeted nervously with the hem of his collared shirt he was wearing.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t?” Savannah challenged, intending to make this torturous and uneasy for him.

“Because I’m sorry?” Howie announced lamely, not knowing why this girl had this power over him. It was uncanny.

Savannah eyed Howie skeptically and he adverted his eyes away from her, knowing his response wasn’t what she’d expected nor wanted to hear. A simple I’m Sorry wasn’t good enough, that much was obvious.

“That’s all you have?” Savannah challenged him, “That’s all you could come up with?”

Howie could feel his normally tranquil temper rising drastically. He wished that the stubborn twenty-year old could be like Rhiannon and see through the mistake that had been made over half a month ago and forgive. He wasn’t asking for her to forget, because that was impossible. But forgiveness was necessary to him, because he was really trying to get through to her that he wasn’t messing around.

“Listen,” Howie began, his tone firm but not loud and angry. “I don’t know what you want from me. I’m truly sorry for everything…for what happened, for Nick’s stupidity, for your injuries. I’m sorry on behalf of the others for being such unbelievably assholes. But mostly, I’m sorry that you can’t see that I am and truly do care about you and Rhiannon. I care about your well-being; I care about what happened to you and your recovery. I just plain care, and if everything that has happened recently doesn’t prove that to you, then I honest to God don’t know what will.” Howie took in a ragged breath, running a hand through his dark curls. He looked in to Savannah’s eyes who still looked amused, but there was something else mixed in with the look. Was she impressed?

“Wow...” she stated. “This is difficult for me to say, but I’m sorry for being so hard on you. I kinda realized when I read the magazine articles and saw the missing photographs, and talked to Ann about it, that you aren’t screwing around like the other Ass Clowns who haven’t shown once since their names are glowing in gold.”

Howie stared at the girl in disbelief. He’d just poured his heart out, saying everything to her, and she’d already known.

“I just wanted to hear you say it...everything,” she admitted as if reading his mind, “And it did come from your heart…surprisingly. Who on earth would have ever thought?”

Howie shrugged, unable to think of anything to say. He hated that because of the others selfishness, he’d been grouped in to the same category as them in Savannah’s heart and mind. It wasn’t fair, but he guessed he really couldn’t blame her all that much.

“Thank you…for all of the gifts.” Savannah said, “They’re all lovely…now that I’ve finally actually looked at them.”

Howie looked around the room, which was lavishly decorated with all of the goodies he’d sent. It looked like a gift shop in itself, brightly decked out with stuffed animals, balloons, cards, snow globes, books, movies, jewelry along with other gifts. He’d certainly gone all out for her. He chuckled to himself, eyes widening. Seeing it all put together made him realize that he must have seemed desperate, but in a way, he had been. He’d desperately made a fool of himself to get a point across, but it had worked its charm after a much too long time.

“You’re welcome.” Howie smiled

Savannah’s gaze darkened though suddenly as if topics could change within her mind like the shifting of a Floridian rain storm and he immediately knew that now the reason she’d wanted to speak to him was coming. Their getting along was over. She was going to start yelling and accusing, ending with him being escorted from the room by a nurse.

“Why the hell would you purposely destroy your image though?” she asked, obviously angered and passionate. “Do you know how stupid that is? Do you know what people are saying about you?”

Howie nodded, “I’m fully aware of that, and I honestly don’t care what they say. The worst insult in the world is still better than the joke of being along side the others in faked good intentions.”

Savannah sighed, not knowing where to begin. She could see he was being honest to her and Rhiannon, but couldn’t see why he was ruining a twelve-year friendship in defense of them.

“You don’t, huh?” Savannah asked, and Howie shook his head. She could read his eyes and see that he truly didn’t, “So you purposely had your photos with us excluded to show us that you didn’t do it for publicity, even though the rest of the world thinks you’re the one and only asshole, when in reality, the other four are?”

Howie nodded, “That’s right. I haven’t spoken to them in days, nor do I really want to. They are nothing I want to be a part of. As far as I’m concerned, Backstreet Boys are officially down to four.”

“Don’t do this, Howie.” Savannah warned, “I’m asking to not to do this to yourself. You’ll regret it in a few months when you no longer have anything to do with us and then will end up hating us for causing your temporary stupidity.”

“No, I won’t have any regrets.” Howie assured her with a half smile, “Never any regrets. It’s what’s right, and I know it with all that is in me.”

“Okay then,” Savannah paused, before adding, “This doesn’t mean we’re best friends or anything, but I suppose I can at least tolerate you, since I know your true bright colors now.” Savannah said with a soft smile and a wink.

“I think I can live with that.” Howie replied, smiling back. He was finally getting through and making the progress he’d been hoping for all along.

Chapter 11 – Starting Anew

“Looks like Howie’s work finally paid off. He’s cruising on easy street with these chicks,” Nick mused with interest as he plucked one of the magazines from the center of the oblong business table. The boys had been scheduled for yet another Emergency meeting with their producers and other bigwigs, though they were slightly confused about the necessity. AJ had concluded that Howie had drawn official papers to dismiss himself from the band permanently, but Kevin had practically slapped him for such a stupid statement. Though Howie had parted from the group, Kevin was still convinced that he would come crawling back with his tail hidden deep between his legs as a sign of submission. Nevertheless, no one was prepared for the titles flashing across all the latest magazines.

“It wasn’t work. Howie actually cares about those girls,” Brian quickly scorned, frowning toward Nick’s obnoxious blurbs of stupid commentary.

“More than us, apparently,” Nick sighed, missing the second eldest member more than he realized. Tormenting the others with his childish behavior just didn’t hit the correct spot in his heart like when he tortured Howie.

“He doesn’t care about us any less, Nick… He’s just frustrated with us and I don’t blame him,” Brian concluded after several moments of silence between the three youngest members.

“Excuse me?” AJ laughed, reaching for another magazine.

“C’mon, you have to admit that we’ve been acting pretty asshole-ish since everything happened… Besides, Howie’s always been a great judge of character. He probably sees something in those girls that we didn’t care to see.”

“One in particular,” AJ snorted, tossing the last magazine toward Brian and Nick with a smirk. The largest headline read: Howie Dorough Smitten with Beautiful Victim. Immediately, the boys snapped open the magazine to pour over the photographs encasing Savannah’s personal words about how caring Howie had been through the ordeal. And the photographs seemed to explain everything about Howie’s obsessive behavior over the broken woman. Her entire hospital room was covered with various trinkets just sparkling in sheer delight underneath the lighting. It was amazing to see such a display for a woman they didn’t even know. “And here I thought I’d be starting the torrid love affair with her. She’s really hot. Or at least she was—”

“He’s not dating her,” Kevin snapped as he walked into the boardroom, overhearing the younger band member’s conversations. He was growing tired with all the rumors circulating, especially since Howie had betrayed them so harshly. And, Kevin meant business as he slammed his hands against the table before seating himself beside AJ. That seemed to draw the boys’ attention, causing a hush to quiet over the eerie boardroom. “The managers just got hold of some interesting news. Seems Miss Lorden wanted to make sure that the record was made straight. She told a reporter that Howie has been the only one visiting and showing any kindness out of the group and refused to have his pictures submitted to the magazines for publishing out of some moral high-ground. But, if the sleazy guy got paid enough, he’d lose a portion of the article and make sure to say that Howie’s pictures were somehow ‘recovered’ from the paparazzi. Needless to say, management is pissed.”

“So glad that you’re their official mood ring, Kev—”

“For once in your life, AJ, hold that smartass tongue of yours and just listen,” Kevin growled, causing Nick to actually stiffen in surprise. AJ seemed to control his temper for that moment, allowing Kevin to proceed with his plans. “Management is insisting that we see Miss Lorden when she’s discharged tomorrow afternoon. So, one of us has to go to see her discharged and the rest of us have to manage to throw some sort of get-well party or something.”

“Why?” Nick scowled.

”Because if we don’t make peace with Howie and the girls, then we’re going to be thrown off the label — Permanently.”

*~*~*

“What are you doing here?” Howie questioned boldly, unable to hide his frown as he watched AJ approach the hospital parking lot. Needless to say, AJ looked to have not a single care in the world, simply waving toward the paparazzi huddling across the street for a few sideways photographs. Only, that seemed to set Howie’s usually placid temper into overload. Savannah was just signing the necessary paperwork to officially release her from the month and a half long stay at the hospital. She had a long and agonizing rehabilitation ahead of her journey with more than four months of immobilization before being allowed to have the slightest stress of weight against her battered knee.

And, surprisingly, Savannah had actually personally called Howie to ask him to be there when she was released. But quickly she covered her emotions by saying that he’d have to drive all the beautiful ‘junk’ he had bought her back to her home since she had to fit her completely immobilized leg into Rhiannon’s already cramped car. Howie had quickly obliged, finding it sweet that Savannah was still acting tough despite her sweet inner core. It had hardly taken any time for Savannah to quickly warm to him and Howie was learning the unique quirks to her personality. She was an extremely bright woman with a quick tongue and bubbly personality. She always seemed to have a smile on her face despite the grave situation. But, Howie kept it simple, never denying nor confirming his belief in her golden heart, because he absolutely enjoyed spending time with her. If anything, his goal was to make her feel better and forget about the pain. She deserved that much, if not more.

“Just wanted to see how you were and since the media is about my only life line to you at the moment, I thought it’d be nice to come out and see you and the new girl in your life,” AJ called, holding his hands up slightly as if he were being ordered out of the car by police. He offered the sly smile that he was infamous for, but it never elicited a warm smile from Howie. So, AJ’s face quickly fell with hurt, just stepping to wait on the curb beside Howie and the two cars.

“Excuse me? New girl?”

“Savannah Lorden? Haven’t you been reading the magazines?”

“Not especially…”

“Howie, she polished your name until it was shining with gold, silver, and expensive gems. Now everyone’s saying that the infamous Sweet D finally has his Sweet Little Lady—”

“It’s not like that,” Howie found himself laughing, not that he was on any better terms with AJ, though. It just seemed typical that the media would look for another headline to attach to the boys’ names. If Howie wasn’t the scallywag they had originally thought, then of course he would have to be romantically linked with one of the victims. It just seemed typical for his lifestyle. “She’s just a really sweet kid, but definitely not my type.”

“That’s a damn shame, Howie,” AJ breathed after several moments of silence between them.

“Why’s that?”

“Because she’s fucking hot,” AJ spoke liberally, nodding toward the doors to the hospital sliding open for a wheelchair to exit. Sure enough, Rhiannon was carefully wheeling a gorgeous woman within the wheelchair, someone completely different from the disheveled woman Howie was used to seeing in the hospital bed. Most of the bruising along her face had disappeared, though the faint remnants of the laceration along her left temple remained. Rhiannon had allowed most of her blonde curls to fall against her face with a graceful layering of a golden halo to conceal the first scar. Her jade eyes were brighter than when she was in the hospital as a playful smile curved against her pale rosebud lips from whatever Rhiannon was saying. She then wore a light green baby t-shirt that revealed just the tiniest portion of her pierced belly button and abdomen, but Howie could already tell that she was perfected after years of dancing. Finally, the loudest signal was the baggy sweatpants clinging to her hips, doing their best to conceal the heavier scars below and the huge immobilizer that kept her leg completely straight. Though, that was harder to hide than anyone could anticipate and it would probably be months before Savannah would let anyone see the more private scars.

“AJ, you have no right to comment—”

“Because you were thinking the same thing?”

“Damnit, just get lost, alright—”

“Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!” Savannah cried emotionally when she reached the cars, not really paying attention to the two men waiting for her. Instead, she pretended to sob openly in her hands as if she had been cured from a horrible disease. Pathetically, she popped her crutches onto the ground, boosting herself as she were a lame beggar just recently touched by Jesus’ miraculous hands.

Rhiannon snorted with amusement at Savannah’s priceless antics, though she slightly feared Savannah using the crutches when her right shoulder was still extremely tender. “Alright, Moses, no need to be too cute for the paparazzi. Just get your ass into the car—”

“Alright, Mom, no need to ruin my Miracle Network Day,” Savannah pouted, attempting to shift on her crutches. Only, she wasn’t as quick to recover as when the nurses were behind her in the hospital. A sharp pain invaded her healing shoulder, causing the crutch to slip from beneath her armpit. With a violent snap she lost all footing and started to fall hard on her painful leg.

“Savvy!” Rhiannon yelped in horror.

“Woah! Easy there!” AJ blurted in surprise, reaching to grasp her underneath the arms to prevent any more serious complications with her condition. He held her entire body weight as if she were nothing but a simple feather floating from the sky, helping Rhiannon stabilize the crutches back beneath her armpits. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Savannah lied, though her confidence had been severely rattled. The nurses had insisted she stay at least another week to recuperate, but Savannah was tired of the hospital. She just wanted to get back home into a somewhat normal lifestyle. Besides, she had missed Rhiannon terribly. But, she wasn’t even half a mile away from the hospital doors when an accident threatened to shatter all the progress she had already made in such a painful month.

“Looks like you could use a good bodyguard, huh?” AJ chuckled.

“Yeah…” Savannah trailed, glancing toward AJ with a blank look. She acted as if she might fall for his seductive charms, but quickly glanced toward Howie. “And I couldn’t think of a better candidate. Can you give me a ride home, Howie?”

“Me?” Howie squeaked in surprise.

“No one else is worth their weight in gold here, besides Ann.”

“Then I’d be happy to take you home,” Howie approved, gently pressing his hand against the small of her back to lead her toward the car. Rhiannon seemed to have anticipated Savannah’s needs, already loading the expensive gifts into her car instead of Howie’s car. But, Rhiannon said nothing as she moved to help Savannah further, allowing Howie to glance back at AJ with a dark scowl. It was pitiful that AJ thought he could fix things in such a sharp snap.

“D—”

“It’s a little too late, J.”

*~*~*

“I think you truly missed your calling, Savvy,” Rhiannon announced with amusement as she slowly walked back into the living room with their remaining box of pizza. Savannah was staring intently at the TV, watching Law & Order: SVU. It was one of Savannah’s favorite TV shows, so Rhiannon made no objection when it was turned on. If anything, Rhiannon was just grateful to have Savannah home. It had been so lonely those passing nights without Savannah to keep her company. She had done her best to keep in contact with their other friends, but no one compared to Savannah in the least.

“What calling?” Savannah murmured, not even bothering to glance away from the pixels emulating her favorite show.

“Your hardcore, gory self that could have made a seriously awesome Crime Investigator,” Rhiannon approved, slowly easing her body back against the couch. She made sure not to disturb a single entity, knowing that shuffling the pillows beneath Savannah’s outstretched leg could cause tremendous bouts of hot, throbbing pain for the younger woman.

“Yeah, I would have kicked ass.”

“No doubt and I might be looking into another career if—”

“Savvy…”

“I know, wait and see how the physical therapy goes in a few months. Nothing is definite,” Savannah exhaled a depressed breath, finally glancing away from the TV screen. She caught her bright jade eyes against Rhiannon’s light brown eyes, realizing that Rhiannon was fretful over the depression threatening to rear with the terrible accident. Every day Rhiannon continued to probe into Savannah’s thoughts, just waiting for the trigger signs that the physicians warned her about. Only, Savannah knew what Rhiannon was looking for and promised to make sure that everything would be okay. Rhiannon already blamed herself too much for the accident. “I’m fine, Ann. I promise.”

“I just worry about you, Savvy.”

“I know,” Savannah answered, offering a sly smile. “That’s why I live with you. So I can get pampered to my heart’s content while I’m officially crippled.”

“You’re horrible, y’know that?”

“Of course I do, but you love me anyway.”

“Not as much as a famous certain someone,” Rhiannon teased, tossing Savannah a fresh magazine that had been sent to their home. Savannah was already furious that the reporter hadn’t printed everything they had discussed during her interview. Instead, he chose to say that Howie was indeed a bright shining star and couldn’t imagine how the photographs had been misplaced in their offices. Then, of course, he had to take a spin on all the beautiful gifts in Savannah’s hospital room. It just seemed surreal that Savannah would get linked with Howie because of his good deeds.

“You know that’s a bunch of bullshit, Ann.”

“I don’t know about that…”

“Excuse me?”

“I got a few presents from Howie, but nothing that could possibly compare to the luggage we loaded into your room today!”

“Oh, please, you’re just too damn gullible and didn’t hold out long enough.”

“Just because you had a crush on him to begin with—”

“When we were teenagers!”

“You haven’t even been out of teenager range for a year yet, Savvy.”

“Just get the thank you cards out of my backpack would you?” Savannah sighed, knowing there was no way to really change Rhiannon’s mind over the situation.

“What for?”

“I wanted to end whatever the Hell it is that I started while I was in the hospital.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Backstreet Boys ended up paying for every single cent of our medical bills. We don’t have to worry about anything and they’re making sure that our bills are paid and all our physical therapy is taken care of—”

“Woah, where’s this coming from?!”

“Don’t even read anything into it,” Savannah grimaced. “I don’t forgive them for what they did or how they treated us. They acted like scum, but nothing is going to change how the media view’s them. And… Howie deserves something better when all this chaos stops. He has to have his friends and career to go back to. As much as he wants to do the right thing, I don’t want him to ruin everything he’s been working so hard for. After all, whatever he’s doing with us isn’t going to last long. Once we’re back to normal, there’s nothing left for him with us, so he’s going to have to go back to having his own life. I just don’t want to see him regretting what he did. Y’know?”

“And you keep denying there’s nothing to those magazines…” Rhiannon teased, delighted with Savannah’s sweet nature. It was hard for others to really get a glimpse into the inside of Savannah’s heart unless she was volunteering at the Children’s Hospital or dancing. But, Rhiannon knew that Savannah honestly cared about Howie, even if she refused to admit as much.

“Is there a method to your madness? Or do you just like killing me?”

“No, I just find it sweet.”

“Sweet, huh?”

“Oh, yes, because there’s no way that we’re getting rid of Howie that easily. I don’t care what you say.”

“You know something I don’t…”

“Of course!” Rhiannon giggled. “Howie knows that you’re pretty much flat on your back while your leg is healing. There’s no way that you’re going to be able to take care of yourself without a lot of help, especially with her shoulder being delicate, too. And, since I’m having my own troubles just walking, Howie volunteered to be our nurse… Well, more like your nurse… He’s starting tomorrow and even got Sun Kiss to purr for him.”

Savannah immediately made a playfully disgusted face at Rhiannon’s confession. “Dear Lord, don’t let him show up in one of those kinky nurse outfits from Spencer’s. He might set our house on fire if he stands to close to one of our lamps…”

Chapter 12 - Attempted Peacemaking

Howie smiled to himself as he walked up to the front door of Rhiannon and Savannah's condo. He dug around in his pocket, pulling out the key that had been given to him to use by Rhiannon. It was so he wouldn't have to ring the doorbell or knock every time he arrived at their home. He had argued, saying it would be too awkward to barge in on the place as if he lived there too, but Rhiannon insisted. And he found it impossible to argue the woman when she was in her stubborn, determined mood.

Sticking the key in to the lock, he turned it. Much to his surprise, it opened with ease. He half expected the key to be a fake. But he turned the door knob and walked inside the now slightly familiar home. He breathed in and could sense something different. It smelled like Savannah, and it was obvious that she was now home, and had been for nearly a week already. This was his first time over to fulfill his job as her personal nurse. He felt privileged to have been honored the position.

"Who's there?" he heard a familiar female voice ring out, recognizing it right away as Savannah.

"Nurse Howie," he joked, walking in to the living room portion of the condo, finding the two best friends lounging out on the couches watching a movie. Savannah smiled up at him as did Rhiannon. "Did I come at a bad time?" he asked.

"Nah, the movie will be over in like, twenty minutes," Rhiannon patted the seat cushion next to her as she uncurled her body and got up in to a sitting position. "Sit and enjoy the end of it with us."

"Then you can give me my sponge bath," Savannah stated, looking at Howie with all seriousness loaded into her facial features and warm eyes. Howie's head turned in her direction quickly, his eyes widening in surprise. There was a slight discomfort in them, as he felt awkward at the thought of seeing the woman in the nude, helping her to bath. Savannah's mouth started to twitch in the corners as her eyes turned mischievous. He looked at her in confusion, wondering what her intensions were. "I'm joking." she assured him as he breathed a sigh of relief, "Although, the offer is always open..."

"Savvy!" Rhiannon exclaimed with a laugh, throwing a pillow at her best friends head, “Quit trying to run off Nurse Howie with your sick humor!"

Howie stood in the entry way to the living area, shifting from one foot to the other in awkwardness. Savannah stuck out her tongue playfully at him and Rhiannon just shrugged apologetically in his direction. He slowly made his way over to the couch, sitting cautiously next to Rhiannon where she'd made room for him.

"What are you watching?" he asked.

"Pearl Harbor," Savannah replied, "Action for me, and romance for the little love addict over there." She nodded in Rhiannon's direction. "Such a sap, she is!"

"Hey!" Rhiannon exclaimed defensively.

"So, um, can I get either of you anything?" Howie interrupted before an argument started, remembering that was the main reason he was there. To help them out and get them what they needed.

"Could you please get me a pillow to put under my leg?" Savannah asked him, "And a can of Pepsi, please."

"I'm good," Rhiannon told him with a smile, shifting her eyes back and forth between him and Savvy. She could see the certain twinkle in his eye when he looked at Savannah, even though he denied through his teeth that there was any interest other than friendship.

Howie nodded, getting up and making his way around the house to search for and collect the items Savannah had asked for. The youngest girl watched Howie leave, not turning back around until he was out of sight.

"As much as I hate to admit it, he has a nice ass." Savannah stated bluntly.

"Savvy!" Rhiannon laughed, "Wow...it took you nearly a month to speak to the man and now you're checking him out...only you."

"One, he has always been my favorite, even though the attraction is on a more mature level now, and two...he's proved himself. The others, however, are still on my shit list."

Rhiannon shook her head, laughing softly to herself. Savannah was definitely one of the most stubborn people she knew and her humor mixed with sarcasm kept things interesting. She didn't know how the girl had decided to give Howie a chance, but she knew that it was a good thing that she did.

"Okay, pillow and Pepsi coming up," Howie announced, walking back in to the living room ten minutes later. He walked over to Savannah and handed them out to her.

"On second thought, the pillow isn't really necessary and I'm not all that thirsty."

Howie stared at her for a second before just setting the two things down. He had a feeling that she wasn't going to hand him the nursing job of a golden platter. She was going to make things difficult for him, but that was okay, because he was just glad to be getting to spend time with the women and getting to know them for their true selves.

*~*~*

“Why don’t you just let it go?”

Savannah sighed. She’d gone over this at least a dozen times with Rhiannon, but her easygoing friend just didn’t seem to see where she was coming from. “I want to know why that blood sucking rodent twisted my words around. He promised he wouldn’t, but did it anyways...I feel I deserve to know why. Besides that, I promised him if he did lie, I would personally beat his sorry ass.”

Rhiannon chuckled and shook her head in amusement, “He’s part of the press... What do you expect? The truth?”

Savannah glared at Rhiannon playfully before breaking into a smile. She just couldn’t stay mad at her best friend and she knew that Rhiannon couldn’t stay mad at her either. She was slightly irritated though, looking up at the digital clock display on the front of the cable box. Mr. Wright was already half an hour late. She was beginning to think that he wasn’t going to show, and if he didn’t, he was in for it worse than ever because for Savannah was determined to get the facts set straight.

“So, um, what exactly are you going to say to the man when he gets here?”

Savannah shrugged. To be honest, she wasn’t entirely sure. She pretty much just wanted a truthful answer as to why. There had to be something...some sort of motivation...that pushed him to lie and twist everything so that suddenly Howie was kind hearted like the others instead of him being the one and only. In the middle of her thoughts, the doorbell rang.

“Could you get that please?” Savannah asked, starting to feel bad that she still really couldn’t do much of anything for herself.

Rhiannon smiled and nodded, disappearing. Seconds later, she’d reappeared with the man that Savannah had met with not all that long ago.

“Good afternoon, Miss Lorden.” he greeted.

“Likewise,” Savannah replied coolly, trying to keep calm. She knew she’d get a lot further if she did. “Have a seat.” she motioned towards a small chair. Rhiannon took a seat next to Savannah, curious as to what this man was all about.

“Glad to see you’re home and feeling better.” Mr. Wright stated, his beady little eyes looking Savannah over.

“Eh, as good as can be expected,” she paused, “Okay, lets get right to the chase. I’m sure you know exactly why I asked you here, right?”

Mr. Wright nodded, laughing nervously. It came out high pitched and reminded both girls of a hyena, “Ah, um, yes, Miss Lorden. I’m very sorry about that...” he didn’t get the chance to finish before Savannah was already interrupting him.

“Why did you do it then? If you’re sorry, why didn’t you just keep your word to me? The world deserves the truth...not some pitiful lie.”

“I can explain...”

“Then do. Enlighten me,” Savannah challenged.
“It’s rather complicated, Miss Lorden...” Mr. Wright tried, knowing he needed to choose his words carefully. This girl could either be your friend or enemy...she didn’t take any bull shit from anybody.
“Um, well, you see...” Mr. Wright started.

Savannah and Rhiannon listened, amused with the words the man was rambling, his eyes darting back and forth, unable to focus on one thing. He was talking quickly, obviously talking out of his ass. Savannah had yet to hear one word of what she felt was the truth or even remotely close to it. But, finally, Savannah just stared at him, unable to believe the excuses the man was coming up with. When she’d finally had enough of it, she held her hand up, motioning for him to stop.

“You sound like a robot... A blubbering idiot… How about telling the truth for once in your pathetic career.”

Mr. Wright sighed. He looked at each woman once over before opening his mouth to speak. Savannah wondered what he would come up with this time. “The truth is, Miss Lorden, that I was paid to keep things clean on the Boys names.”

“Paid?” Savannah choked out, “Who and how much?”

“The Boys as well as their management,” Mr. Wright replied, “They found out about our previous interview and called, wanting to make sure I didn’t have printed that they were scum. So they bribed me with a significant amount of cash…”

“But they are scum.” Rhiannon reminded him, speaking for the first time, coming to her friend’s defense.

“Exactly how much did they pay you to keep their ugly names shiny and bright?” Savannah spat sarcastically with a heavy sigh.

“Two-hundred thousand in cash...”

Both girls eyes widened at the large sum of money he’d been offered. The Boys were definitely desperate, but that still didn’t give any excuse for the reporter to do what he had. Savannah figured she had all the answers she’d be able to get that would tell her anything. The rest would have to come from the Boys, whom she had no intentions of ever talking to with the exception of the sweet Howie.

“You know, it’s snakes like you that make celebrities run from the media.” Savannah seethed even though the Boys had conned him in to doing it, “You may leave now. I believe you’ve overstayed your welcome.”.

Mr. Wright didn’t reply as he let himself out of their home just as Howie was walking up to the doorstep for his daily visit to the girls.

*~*~*

"To be honest, I'm actually looking forward to this." Brian stated, walking up the driveway to the girls’ condo.

Kevin rolled his eyes, crossing his muscular arms over his chiseled chest, just wanting to get this over with. It was another day of faking caring, although up until that point, he felt he'd done a pretty good job of showing that he honestly didn't, bribing the girls, especially Rhiannon, in to getting what he wanted without being kind.

"Me too..." Nick agreed, "And I believe AJ is anxious to try to charm Savannah some more and win her over." he wiggled his eyebrows at AJ.

AJ actually blushed, walking ahead of the others quickly before they could see his shameful guilt. He hoped that Howie wouldn't kill them for just showing up, but the man still wasn't speaking to them, so they'd had to take matters into their own hands and play detective to find out where the women lived. He looked behind him at Howie's BMW parked in the driveway.

"Think enough time has passed though?" Nick brought up, "They've only been home for like, ten days, right?" he got several nods, "Sooo… What if it is too soon to be traipsing in to their home?"

"I don't think there will ever be a good time..." AJ muttered, "We just have to hope for the best and grow from there." He balanced the cake that they'd bought at the local grocery store. It was a sheet cake to feed between twenty-four and twenty eight, on one hand as he rang the door bell with the other. It wasn't long before the front door was opening.

“What are you doing here?"

"C'mon, Howie...we came to visit the chicas," Nick smiled, "Ya know...see how they're doing."

"You're unwanted here," Howie replied darkly, but Kevin was already moodily pushing his way past Howie into the condo unwelcomed, followed by the others. "You shouldn't be here." he tried, but it was no use. He closed the door, following them to where the girls were, waiting for their less than pleased reaction he was sure would come.

"Get the holy hell out of my home."

He smiled at Savannah's voice, always telling it how it was. He heard Nick's attempt to make things right with the cake he'd seen, written in a light blue script on top, GET WELL SOON, SAVVY AND ANN. He cringed. Only those who knew the women well and were close to them could call them by the nicknames. The four definitely did not fall into that category for qualification.

Seconds later, Howie was with the rest of the gang, four men standing awkwardly on one side of the room with the two women on the other, glaring at them as if they'd trespassed on private property, which they had. He joined the women, just staring at what had once been his best friends in total disbelief. He first looked to AJ, who was practically drooling over the radiant Savannah. Nick looked lost and confused, most likely thinking of something completely off the wall. Brian just looked uncomfortable and Kevin looked stone cold and annoyed. They were quite the sorry looking bunch.

"I told you to get out," Savannah said lowly, "Do you not know how to listen?"

"Yes, but we choose not to," AJ replied, "We came to see you and throw you a get well party... Kinda…"

"We're moved." Savannah dryly stated, "Thank you ever so much for your sudden consideration...but truthfully, we won't be getting well soon...it will be slow and painful."

Rhiannon sighed. "Have a seat...on the floor, on a chair…" she then muttered, "In the fire place..."

The words were just audible and clear enough to be heard by the entire party. Howie snickered, One point for Rhiannon. The Boys did not look amused though as they carefully sat on the floor, minus Kevin, who was leaving the room, making his way to the back of the condo into the den. "Nothing like acting like you own the place, you stuck up prick," she grumbled, eyeing him as he sat down forcefully with attitude in the computer chair, glaring out the doorway at the rest of them.

All was silent for a long time. Savannah, Rhiannon and Howie wanted nothing to do with the other three in the room and didn't even want to attempt to make conversation. AJ spoke though, breaking the peacefulness. "You look lovely, Savannah."

"I can't say the same for you." she shot back, causing AJ to wince.

One point goes to Savvy! Howie thought with an inward smirk. He was enjoying seeing the two girls shoot down the men who thought they were so witty.

"Not one of my good days," he quickly recovered, trying to hide his hurt pride. "But hey, how are you feeling?"

"Like crap, but it's an improvement from plain out shit," she stated.

"Ditto," Rhiannon replied, "Sore, woozy, but better than feeling like I am being tortured by a slow death."

The three men laughed at this, "Glad to hear that..." Brian said softly, his accent trailing off. "Sorry we didn't come sooner...sorry for everything actually. Lord Kevin has made things rough..."

"I can see..." Rhiannon stated, seeing Nick look down at the box full of frosted sugar and sweetness. She looked back up at the others, "He definitely is quite the jock strap...fuck stick, ass wad..."

"Woah, woah, we get the point." AJ laughed.
She smiled and even Savannah cracked a small one despite herself. All was quiet for another few minutes. Things were slowly declining in intensity, but there was a long way to go before comfort was an appropriate way to describe the setting.

"Let's cut the cake!" Nick exclaimed, lifting the lid to the large box. Everyone laughed at his eagerness and the way he'd chosen to break the silence. Leave it to Nick...

Rhiannon laughed, getting out of her seat. "I'll be right back." she said, feeling since everyone was starting to take with somewhat of an ease, she could excuse herself for a few minutes. She made her way to the back of her home, stepping in to the Den and starring at Kevin, who was still scowling evilly at everyone else.

"Hi," she stated, taking her chances at possibly breaking his steel hard shell.

Kevin didn't move an inch, looking past her at everyone else. She heard laughter, glad that they were getting alone, although she wasn't sure if it would be a one time gathering or not. In a sense, she hoped it wasn't, for she wanted the best for everyone. She wanted Howie to have his friends back, but for him to stay in touch with her and Savannah too and keep the almost daily visits.

"The others are trying...and I'm actually starting to see that they're somewhat of decent human beings. Why can't you do the same?" Rhiannon asked him flat out when she didn't get an answer.

"They see Howie's genuine kindness is doing wonders and they hate that Howie has alienated himself from us. They miss him. They're hoping their charms will work like Howie's." Kevin replied honestly, "I don't care to make nice with you and Savannah for any reason. There really is no reason to, right? What ticks me off is that they aren't even fucking faking it any longer, It's all actually starting to come from their hearts slowly. They're betraying everything too...including me" His voice trailed off lowly.

Rhiannon shrugged, looking away from Kevin. He was growing uglier by the second to her, both physically and personality wise. He seemed to be selfish, and like it was his way or no way. Kevin continued to scowl in the direction of the others talking and laughing, obviously disgusted by it all. Rhiannon suddenly wished she would have stayed with the others rather than stray away to sit and talk with the alienated Kevin clear on the other side of the condo.

"Well, we're not going to forgive ya'll too easily," Rhiannon joked, "It's gonna take time and effort to rid of the two months of what ya did. Even then it wont be forgotten, but for the most part forgiven, if you play your cards right. Then again, I'm a little easier going than Savannah, but she'll come around too if all goes well."

"Peachy."

Rhiannon rolled her eyes. Kevin honestly wasn't making any attempt whatsoever to be nice and she was running out of things to say. She scanned her brain for something, anything to come up with but was falling short of anything worth conversing over with Kevin, for he was man of little words.

Finally she just started speaking, for the silence was too awkward for her to be able to deal with. "So..." Rhiannon stated, looking at Kevin , "I'm wondering...if Howie dove in to search for and save Savannah, obviously someone else saved me from drowning." she paused before sighing, "I'm just wondering who it was."

"Why does it matter?" Kevin grumbled.

"So I can thank him?"

"It was me"

Rhiannon drew back at this confession, not really expecting it. Kevin had by far been the most conceited and rudest of them all. She'd expected maybe some witness or maybe even one of the other Boys, but definitely not Kevin. She wondered if maybe he had a heart beneath all of the stone he'd built up around him after all.

"Oh," she finally said, "Well...thank you." she offered a smile but didn't get one in return. Instead, she got a deep set scowl and furrowed eyebrows. Rhiannon sighed, "Why did you save me?" she boldly asked, "I mean, if you're so dead set against making any sort of peace with us...or even being civil...why did you even bother saving me? Why didn't you just let me drown. Just two more minutes and I would have been toast."

“Oh yeah, those headlines would’ve been real cute, “Howie Dorough Pulls First Girl to Safety While Other Boys Watch Second Victim Drown From the Sidelines. Like I really had a fucking choice in the matter.” Kevin growled, "The press would've had a field day with that, destroying us in one large swallow. Like I said, there was really no other option."

"I should have known," Rhiannon stated simply, "It's all about your careers. God forbid you actually do something out of goodness. It's all for good publicity and another gold star stuck next to your pathetic name."

She shrugged it off as if it wasn't really that important to her, but on the inside she was crying and hurting. She was sitting in the same room as a man she'd once idolized and had tried numerous things to get to meet backstage after the dozens of shows her and Savannah had run off to. She'd hoped that he would turn in to the man she'd once pictured him to be, but was beginning to see that it was a false hope that would never be. She was starting to think that this ferocious monster was the real Kevin Richardson.

"I'm outta here." Kevin growled, getting up and walking quickly from the room to the outdoors, the front door slamming loudly behind him. Nobody seemed to notice he was no longer with them, and with the way his attitude was, Rhiannon seriously doubted anybody would even miss the man.

Chapter 13 – Chances Are

“Guess we took up enough of your time tonight,” Brian decided, finally standing from the couch as he gathered their messy paper plates from the coffee table. After Kevin’s hauntingly dark presence lifted from the rest of the group, the visitation actually managed to turn into an enjoyable experience for all involved. The boys were wholly honest about the seriousness of their commitment to the girls. They apologized for their past mistakes, hoping that the girls would understand. Savannah had first thrown some heated comments in their direction, but they maintained truthful openness that actually caused her to calm considerably. Savannah had always been a good judge of character when she wasn’t allowing her stubborn nature to block her sensibility. So, when Savannah eased, Howie and Rhiannon followed.

“Are we supposed to comment on that open statement?” Savannah was quick to ask, tenderly attempting to lift the footrest of the Lazy-Boy to elevate her leg. Only, Howie seemed to understand what she was trying, moving to help her before she sustained yet another injury to her delicate leg. She smiled toward Howie with thanks, causing him to shrug innocently before moving back to cleaning up the living room from the miniature party.

“I was kind of hoping that we might be passed all your little comments,” AJ laughed uneasily, obviously infatuated with the woman sitting before him. Even with the faded bruises and healing lacerations along her face, she remained absolutely radiant with a beauty that no one could hope to ever contain. And AJ had been tripping over the most suave statements he could muster from his overactive brain, but Savannah always seemed to have a quip to knock him back into place. Howie had been grateful for Savannah’s quick tongue, because he couldn’t stand the thought of Savannah being with a man and assumed that AJ was just looking to conquer Savannah’s sexuality for another notch on his intimate belt of affairs.

“You’ll never be passed her little ‘comments,’ trust me,” Rhiannon warned with a snicker of laughter.

“Then we better go while the getting’s good,” Brian decided, pushing the last of the plates into a trash bag Howie was holding. Seeing that the room was in top condition, Howie tied the trash bag and tossed it toward the front door to discard before leaving for the evening. He then glanced back to see all the boys standing to follow Brian’s actions to stand before the girls. “It was a pleasure to actually meet you both, Savannah and Rhiannon.”

“Likewise,” Rhiannon agreed with no contempt in her voice, reaching to shake Brian’s hand.

“Same goes for me!” Nick was quick to announce, reaching to peck two quick kisses to the girls’ cheeks.

“You can take the rest of the cake with you, trust me,” Savannah grimaced, reaching to wipe her now wet cheek.

“He’s more than happy with that,” AJ laughed, reaching to shake Rhiannon’s hand. “Thank you for letting us into your home. It’s gorgeous.”

“Thanks to me it’s gorgeous. If Savvy would have decorated, you would have been blinded—”

“By her amazing ability project her radiant beauty onto your home?” AJ was quick to finish.

“Not exactly…” Rhiannon snorted.

“AJ…” Howie warned with a slight growl, causing the feisty man to glance up from the women. He frowned momentarily when he noticed that the others were already vacating the premises, knowing he had to hurry. So, AJ was quick to grab Savannah’s hand, layering it with a charming kiss before stumbling out. Howie glanced toward the girls with a shake of his head, starting to follow AJ. “I’m just going to walk them out.”

“Well, aren’t you such a sweet date!” Nick cooed, pinching Howie’s cheek as the door shut behind them. Only, he immediately jumped behind AJ when Howie offered a dark scowl of contempt. Swallowing hard, Nick held his hands up in defense and forgot about the leftover cake in his hands, which Brian managed to save with a quick dive.

“D, we didn’t come here to start trouble,” AJ was quick to interrupt as Brian shoved the cake back into Nick’s hands with a mutter of what AJ assumed was a clean version of curses. “We came to make amends. We were stupid to think that the band was more important than our friendship, because it turns out that our friendship is what keeps the band.”

“Without you, there is no band. Without you, there is no circle of friendship,” Brian interrupted.

“And without getting too mushy, we want you back,” AJ finished plainly.

“…I don’t know what to say…” Howie sighed.

“Don’t say anything!” Nick blurted, which only caused sharp glares to turn his way. He narrowed his eyes with disgust, puffing his chest in defiance. “I’m having the guys over for a BBQ next Saturday. We’re just going to hang out and act like assholes. We want you to come and bring the girls.”

“Can I think about it?” Howie asked.

“Yeah, no doubt,” Brian agreed.

“You just can’t say no!” AJ called.

Shaking his head, Howie waved the boys off. Watching for a moment as the walked down the driveway, Howie then turned to enter the girls’ condo for his own proper goodbyes. He moved to walk toward the living room, but found Savannah and Rhiannon eagerly waiting in the threshold of their foyer. He immediately arched his dark brows in question. But, Savannah didn’t wait long to ask Howie his opinion when the boys had left. She shifted carefully to look at Howie, arching her light brows. “So, what’s your verdict?”

“On what?” Howie laughed in surprise, still accommodating himself to her bluntness.

“On your friends.”

“What about them?”

“Are they still your friends? Or am I still allowed to think that they’re a bunch of arrogant assholes looking to cover their own asses from a severe butt-raping—”

“Good Lord, Savvy! Can’t you just ask him if we’re supposed to take their apologies seriously?” Rhiannon gasped in horror.

“Well, that, too…” Savannah decided quickly, glancing to Howie.

“I think that the three of them are finally acting like the men I became best friends with,” Howie confided with a soft smile. “I have no doubt in their sincerity.”

“Neither did Kevin,” Rhiannon murmured.

“What?” Howie questioned in confusion.

“Nothing, I’m just happy that you’re going to be maintaining your friendships!” Rhiannon recovered.

“Well, yeah…”

“And, we want to help seal the deal,” Savannah concluded, extremely thankful that Howie was making amends with the men. And, since Mr. Wright had been so gracious as to not include her dirty material, Savannah assumed that she and Rhiannon could seal Howie’s friendship permanently with the thank you notes that had previously written for just this type of occasion.

*~*~*

“Damnit all to Hell!” Savannah breathed in disbelief, just staring at the bottle of Pepsi that she desperately wanted to bring back into the living room to drink. It seemed like such a simple problem, but the task was utterly impossible given her healing dislocated shoulder, crutches, and thick brace strapped hard to her right leg. And, she refused to ask for help because Howie was with the band for the day and Rhiannon was currently dozing in her bedroom. She had woken with a terrible headache from the severe concussion, so Savannah ranted until Rhiannon agreed to lay down for awhile to see if the headache would dissipate for awhile.
Not that Savannah even really wanted to ask for help in the first place. She was growing tired of being so feeble and helpless. Not being able to do anything on her own was frustrating, because she had been so independent before the accident. She hated to rely on others, because it made her nervous. Humans were known to make errors, so it was easier to rely on her own intuitions to spare herself the pain of a dangerous folly.

And deciding that she had to learn to fend for herself while healing, Savannah narrowed her beautiful jade eyes on the soda, conjuring some sort of plan to get her back into the living room. Her leg was already starting to burn from the increase in gravity upon the tender staple lines as she stood. It would be hours before the aching would even lessen one degree and she was becoming exhausted from the exertion. So, growing with contempt at the cylinder of carbonated liquid, she hurriedly tucked it underneath her chin and started into the living room.

Only, she wasn’t prepared for the bitter cold of the bottle against her skin causing a slippery surface. And, without warning, the bottle rolled away from her neck, crashing down hard against her delicate knee. The burst of hot pain zoomed along her spinal cord as she lost her footing with the crutches. The left crutch jammed hard underneath her healing shoulder as the other slipped away from her grasp. It cluttered to the floor as the left sent her back against the wall with a sharp slam. One picture fell from the wall, crashing down heavily on tender leg again.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Savannah screamed in agony, pitching the left crutch as hard as she could across the hallway. “NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF—“

“HOLY SHIT!” AJ’s raspy voice screeched as the front door was opened just in time for him to catch the sailing crutch. He stumbled back against the heavy door from Savannah’s wicked throw, just staring at her in sheer disbelief. He had come over to invite Savannah on a date with a surprising amount of confidence radiating from his persona. Only, things seemed to change when she almost killed him with a flying crutch. “Next time I promise not to walk into this house without knocking! Damn, the front door was open and I figured you’d be resting, so—”

“I wasn’t aiming for you!” Savannah hissed in pain.

“Then what were you doing?” AJ questioned.

“Letting my frustrations explode about being a damn cripple!”

“Well, that’s not good,” AJ frowned, carrying the crutch back to where Savannah was propped against the wall. He tried to offer it back to her, but she violently pushed it away. AJ’s frown deepened as he watched her bowing her head in shame. He could heard the hot sobs starting to choke against her throat, warning him that something had happened to cause Savannah a tremendous amount of pain. Concerned, AJ reached to just place a gentle hand on her right shoulder for support. “Are you okay?”

“I haven’t been okay for awhile,” Savannah choked, blinking back her tears.

“Well, here, let me help you—”

“I don’t want help!”

“You don’t have much of a choice, Savannah,” AJ grunted, reaching to loop his arms around her waist to hold her away from the wall and assure that she was indeed okay.

“Savvy! What was that crash?!” Rhiannon interrupted with a deep bellowing of sheer panic, rushing down the stairs after the loud hysterics. She had been roused from a sound state of sleep by Savannah’s painful cry. Worried that Savannah had caused herself a severe injury because of her foolish stubbornness, Rhiannon was hurrying down the stairs without any concern for her throbbing temples and aching arm.

“That would have been crutches hitting my skull,” AJ ruefully replied, continuing to hold Savannah as he reached for the other fallen crutch.

“Then it would have made a hollow echo, pussy,” Savannah breathed back, although she was offering a small smile of appreciation for his concern.

“Do you think this is the appropriate time to be tormenting your savior—“

“Savannah Grace, answer me!” Rhiannon screamed.

“I’m fine!” Savannah finally hollered back as Rhiannon rushed into the foyer.

“What happened?” Rhiannon blurted.

“I fell into his arms again…” Savannah trailed with a shrug as AJ finally helped her stabilize with the crutches.

“And you had no sarcastic comment to add?” Rhiannon questioned incredulously.

“He saved my ass from getting yet another useless surgery, so I figured I might have to be nice the second time…”

“So nice, in fact, that she agreed to go out to lunch with me,” AJ tried.

“I did?” Savannah murmured in sheer surprise, arching her light brows with question.

“Well… I was hoping…” AJ grinned wickedly. “That’s why I came over in the first place.”

“Is this like a date?” Rhiannon mused.

“It’s whatever she wants to call it, really.”

“You mine as well go, Savvy. You’ve been bitching that no one lets you out of this house anymore—”

“You mean I’m actually allowed back into this conversation about my social life?” Savannah sarcastically quipped.

“Savvy…”

“Further more, my mother is actually allowing me to leave the house unchaperoned? What happened to all the shit about wanting me to stay home and rest? You’re so worried that I might get hurt if I go out and I get too tired on my crutches and what would happen if my shoulder suddenly dislodged again and I fell on my leg?” Savannah questioned with a mock of horror.

“I think we can trust AJ to take care of you for a few hours...”

“Why’s that?” AJ laughed, glad that Rhiannon was actually talking Savannah into the date.

“Because Howie would probably kick your ass if you got Savvy hurt again.”

*~*~*

“And what the Hell are you doing here?” Kevin questioned bluntly, opening his door to find his least favorite person of the moment standing at the threshold. He just didn’t believe that Howie would actually have the gall to be standing on his doorstep, especially after their last altercation before a management meeting. He had never butted heads with Kevin before. Howie was always docile and reserved when it came to the boys arguing over any type of concerns. He weighed each side of the argument carefully against the other, never speaking out until he was convinced with his decision. So, to have Howie irrationally throw a temper tantrum over two mysterious women had hurt Kevin’s pride more than he cared to admit. The boys always respected his decisions as if they were written in stone and Kevin refused to have it change so quickly. What he said went – no ifs, ands, or buts.

“I have something you want.”

“Well, it sure isn’t your shining face that I’ve been longing to see.”

Howie sighed heavily, “Please stop acting so childishly, Kevin.”

“You–”

“I don’t want to fight,” Howie quickly interrupted, offering the stack of thank you letters the women had written especially for them to release to the media. He had spent several hours with the other boys, toiling over what to do exactly with the letters. Everyone had agreed it was best to pass them onto Kevin, allowing him to make the final decision about their destiny. If anything, they were just hoping that Kevin would see the importance of the cards and realize that the girls weren’t just unimportant nuisances on his career path. Because it was obvious that these women were so much more.

“What’s this?” Kevin snapped, reaching to actually take the cards.

“Thank you notes that Savannah and Rhiannon wrote for us.”

“And what do you want me to do with this bullshit?”

“Read them and then you decide what we should do. It’s in your hands, Kevin, just like you wanted.

Chapter 14 - Swallowing Pride

The letters stared up at Kevin as if they were taunting him to read them, laughing in his face, disgracing him. They were antagonizing him, screaming up at him to pick them up, and read their contents against his will. It was all Kevin could do not to do just that, as he kept his hands to himself in antsy apprehension, glaring at them as if they contained poison and upon opening them, he would be contaminated with death. He wanted no part in this, however he knew that he had to read them, for they contained information that could be used to shower the group’s name with golden trim even further once turned into the media. A little more showering definitely wouldn’t hurt, and these letters very well could be their very last tie with the women. Everything could go back to normal, the whole accident forgotten. That would be the best thing in the world to Kevin at the moment. He couldn’t wait. The end was oh so close, yet so far away.

Taking a deep breath, Kevin decided it was time to just get it over with seeing what the two annoying girls had to say and see what parts should be deleted for the media’s sake. He shook his head in disgust, reaching over and plucking them up as if the envelopes contained anthrax. He scrunched his nose up and dug the first letter out of the envelope, opening it up to read it.

AJ, Brian, Howie, Kevin and Nick-

I just wanted to thank you all for coming to visit while I was in the hospital and not doing well. Being cooped up sucks, but having visitors helped....especially visits from those who truly wanted to be there.
Kevin shook his head with a grunt, knowing she was referring to Howie and no one else. He knew that, the other Boys knew that, but the media wouldn’t know that, which was the way it was intended in the letter. Putting his concentration back on the letter, he continued to read.

Bright genuine smiles and gifts from the heat made all the difference in the world and although I am not glad that this happened ( I mean, my dancing career is over and I have many surgeries ahead of me to fix my mangled leg), I suppose the end result wasn’t so horrible after all. It could have been a lot worse, and I guess I’ve made a few new friends out of it...even if it did take others of you a little longer to come around. But hey, no hard feelings any longer, right?

Thanks again. I hope once this is all said and done, you won’t forget about Rhiannon and me. I can’t believe I am saying this, but at least keep in touch.

Savvy

P.S. You don’t have to include this in the version you submit to the media...like you would anyways, but Kevin...I am sorry we were such burdens to you. You didn’t have to show it though. Yes, you’re an ass, but that doesn’t bother me as much as it does Ann. At least we both know where the world stands if it gets in the way of your music. I guess in every group, there is one heartless bastard. You are the Justin Timberlake of BSB. I just hope that with your egotistical ways, you won’t keep your ‘Posse’ from speaking to us.

Kevin rolled his green eyes, folding the letter back up and placing it atop the envelope. He sat back, almost afraid to read Rhiannon’s letter as he thought about what Savannah had written. She sure did have a way with words to make the intended party see past the simple words that most outsiders wouldn’t even think anything of. And in the last part, what did she mean by that his attitude didn’t bother her as much as Ann? It definitely brought up some unanswered questions in his mind that he wished wouldn’t have surfaced and assume not have answers to, but couldn’t help but want the answers.

“Stupid woman,” he mumbled to himself, leaning forward, “Has to make me read in to everything... probably brainwashed the other pansies into turning sweet towards her to get her own selfish, whiney way.”

He shook his head in disbelief, his mind set that his thoughts were the way it was as he picked up Rhiannon’s letter. He opened it up, starring at the soft, playful curves of her handwriting in the aqua blue pen she’d used.

Dear Kevin, Howie, Nick, AJ and Brian~

Hi. How are you all? Well, I hope. I’m doing okay, given the circumstances, but just glad to be alive. I’m very thankful for that, as well as for your caring nature towards Savvy and me. It’s good to know that you didn’t turn your backs and run, leaving us for long, painful stays in the hospital, or worse yet, flee the scene and let us drown. That in itself shows that you’re genuine, loving people. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I really don’t know what else to say...I’ve never been good with words really, for I feel I ramble, so I am just going to leave it simple. Thank you for your visits, cards, flowers, gifts and get well wishes. If it wasn’t for that, who knows if I’d have had the strength to get out of ICU so quickly, and Lord knows Savvy would still be a complete mess. She still is somewhat, deep down, but won’t admit it. She tries to act brave and strong for everyone. Either way though, both of us have come a log way in a lessened time period knowing we had people there for us. I guess it is true that something as simple as that can come a long way.

Love, Rhiannon

Kevin finished reading the letter, almost feeling guilty as he lowered it down to his lap, staring off in to space. The letter said exactly what he would want it to, yet most of it had been a lie. He’d feel bad publishing it knowing not one increment of it was the truth for any of them but Howie. They’d both made it seem like all five took equal part in the visits, but Rhiannon’s wasn’t blaming anybody at any point. She didn’t hold grudges, that much was obvious.

Looking back down, he noticed that there was another piece of paper behind the letter he had just read. Curiosity got the better of him as he put the top sheet behind the bottom, reversing them so he could read what was on the hidden paper:

Kevin~

This one is for you, as you probably have noticed. No publicity intended for this one, just for your eyes only. As we all know the other letter was a lie and, while in the hospital, Howie was the only one who lived up to what I described. No need to go in to any further detail. We all already know what happened, right? AJ, Brian and Nick though...then at least started to try once Savvy and I got home. I mean, really try...and meant it, just like Howie did all along. What I don’t understand is why you couldn’t do the same. That makes me sad.

See, I used to look up to you. You were my role model because in every interview and TV special you Boys were in or on, you always seemed so true and centered on the ground. It seemed that you didn’t let fame and millions of dollars affect you. You were an average person like everyone else, only you were popular by entertainment. That was the only thing that separated you from ninety-nine point nine percent of the population. You didn’t act like you were better than everyone else. You seemed truly sincere. You all did, but something about you seemed...real. This whole situation has made me feel like that was all a publicity stunt as well on your part, fooling everyone, however the others really were being themselves. They’ve already proved it. It hurts because I feel as if I have lost what I had believed in most. I guess life is just that way though, huh? Maybe eventually we’ll get along...but until then...

Kevin felt a gnawing at his heart as he read the letter personalized to him. The letter ended right there, leaving the rest to him, as he assumed. When, where and if he decided to get along with her was in his hands and on his time. One thing he knew for sure though was that after reading her letter, he couldn’t possibly turn them in for publishing to grace his and the group’s name. That would just be proving her point right in her eyes. Besides, suddenly, with a few simple words, Kevin didn’t really care much about the good publicity. He for some reason wanted to make things good and do them the right way like he should have been doing all along instead of being so stubborn, paranoid and anxious about losing reputation and money.

Those, in the end, didn’t matter much. These women’s lives, which he had treated as if meaningless and insignificant, did matter to him now. Kevin buried his head in his hands and shook it in disgust with himself. How could he have screwed up so bad and been so wrong?

He didn’t know why, but until that moment, he hadn’t realized what a complete and utter prick he had been. He hadn’t noticed that he’d been coming off so strongly selfish and strong willed against them. Or maybe he had realized it, but didn’t care until that moment. Something about Rhiannon made him want to go back to being the person she’d described in the letter...the person he knew he was deep down. Now all he had to do was swallow his pride and make an effort to show her that he wasn’t some scum. Kevin just hoped that he could prove it to her and it wasn’t too late.

*~*~*

“So, where to, ma’lady?” AJ asked Savvy once he’d helped her in to his black Convertible, “Today is all yours.”

Savannah rolled her eyes at AJ’s attempt to be charming. Sadly though, he was winning her over as much as she hated to admit it. That was just it though...she wasn’t going to admit it for awhile to come yet, hoping she could contain her female hormones enough to keep her thoughts inside.
“Don’t even try to be a suck up,” Savannah snorted with a small smile,
“We’re going to lunch...nothing special. This is not a date.” But she felt her stomach butterfly despite herself, hoping that her face didn’t give away how she really felt.

AJ chuckled, watching Savannah blush slightly. He put his eyes back on the road, driving away from the condo. Just by looking at her face, AJ knew that she felt the same way about that afternoon as he did. She wasn’t fooling anybody. This was a date and they both knew it. That much was obvious. AJ found it cute though how the young, gorgeous girl was trying to convince him as well as herself otherwise despite herself.

“Thanks for coming out with me today,” AJ said after a few moments of silence, “I’m glad that you said yes.”

“Like I really had a choice.” Savannah joked, “All y’all ganged up on me,” she stuck her tongue out playfully.

AJ shook his head in amusement, concentrating on driving before he got into an accident by being distracted by her beauty and spunk. Savannah just smiled softly as she leaned back, her leg stretched out as she let the wind whip through her hair, tussling it around. The breeze felt good and refreshing in the hot air.

AJ continued to drive, and what Savannah didn’t know was that the man already had planned out where he was taking her. He thought it to be somewhat sweet and romantic. He only hoped that Savannah would feel the same. The absolute last thing that he wanted to do was piss her off and get back up on her shit list when he’d finally just gotten off of it. He was making slow but sure progress and wanted to keep on that steady track, hopefully all the way to her heart. He wanted to be hers, for he’d grown attached to her and loved everything about her. There was something special about this woman, and he’d seen it the first time he’d laid eyes on her after he’d unburied his head from the deep layers of his ass.

Minutes later, AJ was pulling into a near deserted parking lot. Savannah got goose bumps as she felt slightly uneasy by stomach. She tried to hide it though, figuring she was just nervous as she waited for AJ to take care of some business. She wondered where he’d taken her and what he was up to, as he was gone for nearly ten minutes. When he finally did return, he opened up her car door, scooping her up in to his arms as she wrapped her own around his neck.

“Aren’t you little Mr. Romeo,” Savannah joked as he carried her down a small, sandy hill down close to the water. AJ chuckled, not speaking until he was setting her down gently atop of a blanket. Savannah looked around as AJ sat next to her. Her breath caught in her throat.

“Oh, AJ…” she muttered, seeing the picnic he’d set up for her by the shoreline of the ocean, a small vase of daisies. She’d never been one for sappy, girly romance stuff, but what AJ had done was truly sweet and she couldn’t help but be taken over by it as much as she wanted to act all tom-boyish and like it didn’t affect her in the least.

“Do you like it, Savvy?” AJ asked huskily.

Savannah nodded her head, but she got the feeling again...one that something wasn’t quite right. She recognized this place. She did, but couldn’t quite place where from.

“Something wrong?” AJ asked her, worried suddenly.

“Ummm...hmmm...uh, yeah.” Savannah mumbled amidst her trance, “I mean no...I don’t know.”

AJ looked at her with concern as she continued to look around her, the sick feeling becoming stronger. Why was this beautiful beach and surrounding having this effect on her? What was with it? Then suddenly Savannah had it. The memory struck her like a bolt of lightening, like the boat hitting her full force as she was thrown from her own. She jerked, wincing in agonizing remembrance.

“What?” AJ asked, reaching over to wrap an arm around her visibly shaking body, “What’s wrong?”

“Why....why would you...take me here?” she rasped, wishing that she could get up and run away. That was impossible though, for if she even tried....She shuddered at what would happen if she tried. “Are you trying to torture me?”

“Huh?” AJ blanked, not understanding,

“The place that...this is approximately where....the accident...when...” she sputtered, unable to get the words out in her fury.

AJ’s eyes widened in surprise as he drew back. He hadn’t expected such a harsh reaction. He truly had thought he’d been doing a good, kind thing by bringing her there. Kind of to show that he cared about her and remembered where it all happened. That the incident wasn’t insignificant and he hadn’t forgotten as if it was all nothingness. AJ hadn’t seen anything wrong with it, but apparently he had been mistaken. He told her just that, though.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I didn’t realize it was so...sensitive...I truly thought...”

Savannah held up a hand to stop her as she took in a few deep breaths to calm herself. It was a typical guy thing to think he was being sweet but it be to totally wrong. His intentions had been good, but the actual idea had been bad. She knew she couldn’t blame him for it....he was a guy. It was in his DNA not to know any better.

“Do you want to leave....go somewhere else?” AJ asked

“Nah...it’ll be fine.” Savannah replied somewhat unconvincingly.

“Are you sure?” he pressed, “We can leave...I don’t want to stay if you’re uncomfortable here and it’s making you sad...”

“No, it’s fine.” Savannah swallowed, forcing a bright smile, “I can’t avoid every beach now just because of what happened, right?” she laughed forcefully, “It’s fine, I promise. Just brought back some bad memories, but its okay.” she looked in to his eyes, knowing she should at least try to appreciate what he’d done for her, “Thank you. It’s nice.”

AJ looked at her skeptically, but shook it off, knowing the girl was going to be stubborn and never admit that it bothered her again. He had messed up, his good intentions anything but, as hoped that it wasn’t going to make her hold a grudge.

*~*~*

Kevin hesitated as he turned off the ignition to his red Dodge Stealth. It was two days later since he’d read the letters and he had come to the final decision that he needed to go to the condo and try to make things okay with Rhiannon. It was time he acted human, and Rhiannon, he knew, would be the easiest obstacle, so she was first. After he broke through Rhiannon and apologized, getting her to believe him, he would try for Savannah, who’d be a much tougher path to cross. It was the perfect day too because Savannah was out for her lunch date with AJ. As for the others, he wasn’t sure, and he hadn’t spoken to Howie again since the younger man had dropped off the letters.

Taking a deep breath, Kevin took a quick look around before getting out of his car, pushing the door shut and locking it with the car remote as he walked up the driveway and to the doorstep. He paused again for some reason though, knowing that with his big ego, he’d have to swallow a lot of pride in order to admit that he was wrong. He didn’t know if he could do it, but somehow found himself ringing the doorbell to the cute, tidy home that the girls lived in. A minute later, it was being opened to a bright faced Rhiannon, who’s smile fell when she looked up at him.

“Oh,” she muttered, “Here to bitch at me some more...probably for the letter that I wrote to you...even though you deserved it.”

Kevin winced, stung by the soft words of the girl. She wasn’t angry, but rather in a sarcastic, smart ass mood. He swallowed, smiling weakly at her as his heart hammered in his chest, nervous about admitting that for almost three months, he’d been wrong. Dead wrong. It was making him ill thinking about it.

“I guess I deserved that.” he admitted with a small chuckle, figuring it was a smooth start for all that he wanted to say.

Rhiannon paused, eyeing him up and down skeptically with a little confusion mixed in. Had Kevin actually just admitted in so many words that he’d been a jerk? It sure sounded like it, and for some reason, Rhiannon was interested in what more the man had to say. She opened the door wider, stepping aside.

“Come in...” her voice trailed off as if she weren’t sure if she was making a huge mistake or not. He was already walking into her and Savannah’s home though, so she figured that there was only one true way to find out. So after closing the door, she followed Kevin to the living room, where he’d already taken a seat. She found his ‘take charge’ attitude slightly annoying yet impressive. Taking a seat on the same couch opposite end as him, she stared at him for a moment, seeing he was uncomfortable before asking, “So, what brings you here this afternoon if it isn’t to torture me some more with your sour ways?”

“Um...well...” Kevin paused, not knowing quite how to word what he was wanting to say, “I read your letters...”

“Ah, here we go.” Rhiannon quipped, interrupting him, “So, you going to use them for publicity...want me to rewrite it to kiss up even more and lie even stronger. What is it you want, because you don’t have to suck up to get it...”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Kevin cut her off, making the young girl draw back in surprise, “In fact....I’m not going to submit them at all. Your second letter...did something to me.” Kevin admitted, “It made me see that the real Kevin wasn’t being shown at all. He had been put on temporary hold...misplaced, so to speak.” he looked in to her eyes before looking back down, realizing for the first time that this girl really was attractive. She was beautiful in her own delicate way. It was hard to describe...but he was seeing now what he had refused to see through his own stubborn blindness before, “What you saw for the past three months...I’m really not like that...I promise. Some other force took over my body, but your letters made that monster leave...they gave me my heart and sensitivity...rationality back.”

Rhiannon just stared at him, unsure of what to say. He had left her speechless because this was the last thing she expected. She’d been preparing for another lecture...another blow-up, another time of him screaming at her as if she was useless and a nuisance. She wondered how he had the nerve to just walk up and act so casual, then again, it was obvious that this was taking a lot of nerve and bravery for him to do this.

“I guess what I am trying to say...” Kevin paused, really looking up and in to her eyes for the first time, “Is...I’m sorry. Especially for how I treated you...I’m sorry for that.”

He had said it...had gotten the words out, and it actually felt good, even if he had come off like a rambling idiot. He saw her smile at him unsurely, wondering if she should trust him or if this was another ploy to get what he wanted for his own selfish reasons. She saw in his eyes that hew as being honest. His facial expression, as handsome as it was, was nervous with sweat of anxiety perspiring across his forehead.

“Just like that,” Rhiannon stated, raising an eyebrow, “You think you can make it all better just like that...”

“I don’t...I um,” Kevin cleared his throat, “I don’t know what else to say, Rhiannon. I’m sorry.”

Rhiannon considered this. He was so cute, and she couldn’t help but put her guard down just a little bit. The visit hadn’t reversed things completely, but he was making headway a little bit at a time.

“Well, that’s a start.” Rhiannon told him, smiling completely, letting him know that she wasn’t going to hold a grudge for long.

Chapter 15 – Questionable Relations

“So? Am I just supposed to pretend that nothing happened yesterday?” Rhiannon finally asked, glancing away from Savannah’s walk-in closet with some articles of clothing that she knew the younger girl would approve of. She arched her dark chocolate brows with interest, just smiling at the blank look that had crossed Savannah’s angelic face. Yesterday had been Savannah’s date with AJ, but she hadn’t spoken a word about the rendezvous since returning. In fact, Savannah had actually gotten in pretty late the previous evening and begged just to crawl into her bed without complaint. So, Rhiannon had followed orders, knowing that Savannah’s strength drained much easier since the accident. But now, as they prepared to go to Nick’s BBQ Party, Rhiannon was aching for answers, more so hoping to reveal her own secret rendezvous with Kevin, though it hadn’t been much more than a simple chat after his apologies.

“Nothing happened yesterday,” Savannah lied, fidgeting to secure the straps of the heavy immobilizer. Somehow, she always managed to move while sleeping, so the brace was always loose in the morning and her leg always agitated with pain. Grimacing, she held her throbbing shoulder as she glanced up at the choices of clothing Rhiannon selected. This probably was the most frustrating point of Savannah’s day – had to find help to get dressed and washed in the morning. Her shoulder was still healing slowly, so it was impossible to lift her arm very far to shrug on a top and just as impossible to stand and slide on her choice of bottoms. So, she waited like an infant for her ‘mother’ to help.

“You know you want to tell me,” Rhiannon pressed, holding on the variety of tank tops for Savannah to select from. She didn’t know exactly what they were to wear to Nick’s BBQ, but she assumed it would be light cotton clothing because of the heat. She was actually going to be wearing a bikini beneath, just in case the men decided to take a dip. But, Savannah would be left out of that equation, again, because of her severely battered leg.

“Not really, because there’s nothing to tell,” Savannah repeated, although her glowing dark jade eyes advised Rhiannon of other thoughts. Even though the date had started off really shaky with AJ’s missed intentions of taking her to the scene of the accident, the rest had been quite peaceful. Surprisingly, she and AJ really had a strong connection to one another. So many times during the day, she had slipped into letting him almost kiss her, but her judgment quickly pulled her back. Though, now she was actually starting to think she should have let him. The very idea of his soft lips against hers sent excited shivers down her spine, especially remembering the faint scent of his sweet cologne and the tones of his raspy voice. But, she shook her head and began blushing furiously when Rhiannon caught her thoughts, she glanced down to yank free a tank top.

“You are such a liar, Savannah Grace! Just tell me if he’s that rough and ready, dangerous man that he loves to project during his concerts. Y’know, pelvic thrusts, throwing you down to the floor to make wild and passionate love, licks on the face, tongue dances—”

“Good Lord, do you need a good porno or what!” Savannah snorted with amusement.

Rhiannon blushed with an embarrassed smile. “I just—”

“He’s romantic, okay?”

“AJ McLean - Romantic?”

“A sweet romantic at that,” Savannah sighed, rolling her eyes.

“But—”

“SAVVY? ANN?” Howie suddenly called following the loud slamming of their front door.

“Fantastic! He can help you get ready!” Rhiannon breathed with relief, wanting to select her own perfect outfit for the BBQ. She had the smallest expectations that Kevin might actually show up to the BBQ and her contempt from the man had slowly died since he came over with his heart sewn against his sleeve. Not wanting to be obvious, however, Rhiannon stepped out into the hallway just as Howie reached the top step.

“You’re not ready?” Howie guessed, arching a dark brow.

“Well… Yes…” Rhiannon laughed softly, glancing down at her t-shirt filled with holes and fraying jean shorts. She had attempted to clean some of the house before a massive headache had attacked earlier that morning. And, with her arm still tender with the severe burns and physical therapy, not much had been accomplished. “But, Savvy needs help. So…”

“She’s not in the shower, right?” Howie blurted.

“No…” Rhiannon trailed, clicking her tongue at Savannah’s luck. “But, she’d like to start taking them soon. There’s only so much I can do with her hair while her head’s propped in the sink. The doctor gave her permission to take off the brace just for a shower, but can’t even think of stepping on her right leg… So, she’ll need assistance in and out… And with my arm and uneven balance…”

“Okay,” Howie squeaked.

“We can talk about that later though,” Rhiannon laughed, noticing the color considerably pale in Howie’s face. Gently, she reached to rub his shoulder with her good arm, knowing Savannah would absolutely be delighting in the fact that Howie had to help her, only because she loved to torture him relentlessly. It amused her impish natures, which probably made it easier on her pride to accept such help with intimate needs.

“…Looking…” Howie swallowed hard to finish, “…forward to that…”

“I’m sure,” Rhiannon laughed, moving toward her bedroom doorway. Only, she paused for a moment, turning to catch Howie before he rapped on Savannah’s bedroom door before entering. “Howie?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you suppose that Kevin will be at this party?”

Howie’s dark eyes immediately widened in surprise at her question. He never expected that question to pop from her glossed mouth with such ease and hopefulness. “Do you even want him there?”

“Yeah, maybe, I mean, he stopped by last night…”

“Really? He stopped by?”

“Yeah… So, do you think he’ll show?”

“I…” Howie exhaled slowly. “I really don’t know if he’ll show or not.”

“Oh…”

“Not because of you… Or… Well, maybe…” Howie sighed heavily, leaning against the wall for a moment to think. He wanted to just call Kevin a useless slime-ball and be done with the situation, but it was complicated. Kevin was still one of Howie’s best friends. “You remember his divorce right?”

“It was three years ago…”

“Right, but Kristen took absolutely everything from him. She was extremely vicious when it came to their lives being torn apart. It… I mean, he can tell you about it. But it was nasty and he hasn’t really been the same since then. The only thing he really looked forward to was our tour and success with the new album. It was the one thing that Kristen couldn’t take away from him. She couldn’t take away his music. But, when everything happened with you girls, I think he was worried that our success and wonderful careers were going to be taken away by women, too. Not to say that I agree with—”

“I understand,” Rhiannon was quick to interrupt with a sad smile, actually understanding Kevin’s state of mind for a moment.

“Okay…” Howie trailed, just watching Rhiannon disappear in thought. Once her door closed, Howie finally turned back to Savannah’s door. Clearing his curious thoughts about Kevin’s meeting with Rhiannon, Howie rapped on the door.

“Don’t mean to be such a burden,” Savannah murmured when Howie entered, just staring at the articles of clothing she selected. It was useless for her to even attempt to muster the strength to stretch the clothes in hope that they might settle appropriately on her body. If anything, it would just cause more pain.

“You’re not a burden, Savvy. I’m supposed to be your nurse, remember?” Howie answered, lingering at the doorway nonetheless. He couldn’t peel his eyes away from the beautiful woman perched upon her luxurious bed. Her lengthening golden curls bounced lightly below her shoulders as she sighed, concentrating on the floor with her gorgeous jade eyes, concealing the lovely profile of her face and the light freckles that danced across the bridge of her nose. But her body looked absolutely perfect, lean and toned from years of dancing with the added feminine features of her beautiful youth, which was exposed in just a lavender bra and a matching pair of striped lavender, bikini underwear.

Slowly, Savannah glanced upward to catch Howie’s stunned gaze. She finally smiled ruefully at his shock, not exactly offended by her somewhat seductive appearance. She changed in front of men frequently with the dancing career, especially when it came to changing various costumes through low profile shows. “It’s just like seeing a girl in her favorite bikini, Howie.”

“I—”

“Can you help without fainting? I’m sure you’ve seen better looking women than me.”

“Uh… Okay…” Howie murmured, licking his drying lips as he finally stepped into the bedroom. Trying to conceal the trembling of his hands, he reached for her purple tie-dyed, string tank top. Carefully, avoiding as much body contact as possible, he pulled it gently over her head, allowing her to adjust it along the swell of her breasts and fall in against her slim abdomen. Sighing with relief, he stepped back in triumph, only to have her reach for her shorts. Howie stared at the article with a blank expression. “How?”

“Hold them so I can slip my legs into them, then when I stand, you’ll have to pull them up and button them,” she explained, unable to shrug her shoulders with rectifying her pain. So, without any words, Howie quickly kneeled to get the situation over with, helping her into the shorts. Then, as he helped her hold onto him while standing, he started to pull the shorts upward against her lower body.

Howie tried to ignore the feeling of his hands moving against her soft curves and sweetly defined body to pull up the short khaki shorts, feeling his body heat with extreme delight. It had been awhile since he felt the suppleness of a beautiful woman. And never had he met such a woman as Savannah. Swallowing hard against the lump growing in his throat, he carefully buttoned the fly with every attempt to remind himself of the obvious. She’s just a kid, Howie. Way too young for you. And even if you think that age has nothing to do with love, you still can’t date her! You two are nothing alike. For Goodness Sakes, you almost killed her! You’re not interested… You can’t be interested… Because… Well, she’s not interested… Right?

But, concentrating on the feeling of her arms looped around his neck for a steady hold, he had a feeling that even he couldn’t convince his heart otherwise of his developing emotions.


*~*~*

“You can’t be serious!” Nick exclaimed with an obnoxious laugh that chortled like a wild hyena, just staring incredulously at the slightly older man before him. Tossing the last row of burgers on to the expensively large grill built into his backyard, he turned to make sure he had the others’ attentions. He had invited AJ and Brian over early to help set up for the party, but each man had his own degree of laziness, so the party was halfway made. But, Nick was more amused with AJ’s confession, anyway, not really worrying about the finishing touches. Folding his arms across his chest, he glanced over to Brian to confirm what he heard. But, when Brian nodded, Nick just glanced back at AJ with disbelief. “You did what again?!”

“I told you,” AJ grunted with distaste, seating himself at the outdoor lounge area with a cold can of Pepsi in his hands. He didn’t seem to understand what was so hilarious about the issue. He had a fantastic time with Savannah yesterday or at least he thought so. There was a raw passion between them that sparked wildly within each encounter. All he could think about was making her his lover forever. The idea sent shivers down his body with a sheer delight. AJ had even dreamed about his near miss kisses with the gorgeous woman, only to awaken with a dreading thought that maybe Savannah didn’t feel the same. She had been so obvious about resisting each kiss, which made him decide that today he had to try again. “I took Savannah out for lunch.”

“On a date?” Nick continued.

“I believe that’s what ‘out to lunch’ means, Dumbass.”

“Well…” Nick frowned. “I knew that.”

“Did you tell Howie about the date?” Brian was quick to ask, glancing toward the second youngest with honest question in his light blue eyes. Brian had probably been the only keen observer during all their encounters with the women and Howie. Mostly because Nick was brain-dead when he came to observation and AJ had invested interests in Savannah. But, it didn’t take much talent to recognize Howie’s investments in Savannah, whatever he said they may be. The fact was that Howie deeply cared about the women, which made it extremely important for AJ to work through Howie while trying to date Savannah.

“No, why the Hell would I tell Howie about the date?”

“Because Howie has a hard-on for Savvy!” Nick interjected.

“You’re such an asshole, Nick,” AJ quickly scorned. “Howie looks at after her like a little sister. I would know if something was there. I mean, I asked him flat out when she was discharged from the hospital. He said they were just friends and that she’s a good kid.”

“Well, whatever he feels for her, you still should make sure he approves,” Brian suggested.

“He’s not her father—”

“Yeah, because he’d tell her to get the Hell away from you, then!” Nick cackled.

“Nick—”

“I’m just in shock! I mean, the one woman that has resisted your charm since the beginning—”

“Yes, Nick.”

“She acted like you were the bubonic plague—”

“I know, Nick.”

“Actually, she acted like you were bubonic plague on Richard Simmon’s ass—”

“Okay, that’s enough, Nick.”

“She said she wouldn’t even have cyber sex with you if you and her were the last ones on Earth and responsible for saving the human race—”

“Shut up, Nick!” AJ finally hollered with contempt, jumping up from the table to throw the youngest man into the oversized, in ground pool. Once the man surfaced, AJ chucked a hamburger bun at his sopping wet head. “I don’t give a damn what you think, alright?! Just shut up about this! What happened between Savvy and me stays between Savvy and me! I don’t need you blabbing to Howie! Got it?!”

“Did we miss something?” Rhiannon laughed, slowly descending the patio toward the backyard with Howie following carefully in front of Savannah’s crutches. She glanced quickly around the backyard, obviously in search of Kevin’s presence. But, when she only found Nick, AJ, and Brian, she faked a happy smile toward the others and remained interested in Nick’s sudden dip inside the cold waters.

“No, we were playing chicken…” Nick sputtered, launching himself out of the pool and shaking himself like a dog.

“How come you’re the only one soaked then?” Rhiannon laughed, accepting Brian’s welcoming hug before seating herself.

“Because… I wanted to ask Savvy what her favorite music video was to work on! We’ve seen all the videos, which are kickass, but… Which was your favorite?” Nick blurted, unable to even cover his tracks as he reached for a towel. He attempted to glare at AJ, but ended up smiling goofily when Savannah caught his gaze while gingerly seating herself in between Howie and Rhiannon.

“That’s a complete change of topic, Nick,” Howie chuckled, not really understanding what happened before, but watching Savannah carefully for any signs of distress.

“Yeah… But an interesting question, nonetheless,” Brian saved, offering each girl a soda while AJ practically leered at Savannah.

“I loved working on ‘Dirrty’ with Christina Aguilera. The choreography was original and the song is one of my favorites. The beats of the music are so sensual… It just makes you fall in love with the raw animal aggression,” Savannah admitted after a few moments of silence. She glanced up from the glass table with a soft, but sad smile. “I’m going to miss it…”

“Savvy...” Howie whispered sadly, reaching to rub her back.

“Wait! You didn’t ask me! I loved working on the make-up in ‘Dirrty,’ too!” Rhiannon announced, saving Savannah from a tearful moment of remorse. Reaching, she gently squeezed Savannah’s hand while continuing. “I actually got to help select costumes and was allowed creative freedom over the make-up. It was amazing to be on that set, especially when Christina was giving Savvy all this wonderful praise. And, God, Savvy was so gorgeously hot in that video!”

“She’s always gorgeous…” AJ murmured, swallowing his emotions to lamely join the conversation until he could find the means to get Savannah alone.
*~*~*

“So, I think you might be enjoying this BBQ more than our date yesterday,” AJ ruefully announced, closing the freezer door after locating the large ice pack Nick had received after one of his awful stunts that cost him a broken leg. But, AJ wasn’t reminiscing about such events, more concerned about the woman attempting to relax at Nick’s kitchen table. It was obvious that the pain medication had started to wean away from her system, causing massive amounts of discomfort. So, in an attempt to get her alone, AJ suggested that he’d take her inside for another dose and ice for her bound leg. And he could feel the tension rising from their bodies, confirming his desire to take another step in the right direction. Simply put – he wanted her.

“Excuse me?” Savannah breathed in surprise, glancing up from her large brace to catch AJ’s soulfully dark eyes. She naturally arched her light brows in question, biting down hard on her bottom lip with contemplation. She hadn’t said much after their date ended yesterday, just that she enjoyed the time together. He had tried for another kiss, but she purposely stumbled on her crutches much to the displeasure of already damaged leg. She knew it was stupid to risk her leg, but she was scared.

“Well, you’re smiling more today, joking around with the guys, laughing hysterically at Nick’s stupidity… Yet, on our date, you were so quiet and reserved—”

“Only to start out—”

“And to end,” AJ finished, seating himself beside her at the kitchen table. He offered her the glass of soda and then moved to apply the large ice pack to her tender extremity. Though, his burning eyes never left hers as he held the ice pack in place, rubbing the brace affectionately with her finger. “I know that I fucked up with the whole beach incident, but I didn’t think I was that horrible of a date…”

“AJ!” Savannah groaned with contempt, hating that she even had to start this kind of conversation with him. Her life was already so complicated from the accident. To possibly add AJ into the mix was a dangerous combination. No matter how much she longed for some kind of comfort from her already cold world. “It’s not that I didn’t enjoy—”

Only, Savannah was stopped halfway within her fumbling words by AJ’s warm lips. It took her a moment to register the ramifications of his actions, but her heart slammed wildly against her ribcage as the excitement rose within the room. Finally releasing her control over the situation, Savannah reached to wrap her good arm around his warm neck. Pulling him close, she captured his lips again and again, unable to wipe away the erotic qualities of the affair. Slowly, she enhanced the kiss with the slow roll of her tongue against his. And nibbling against the bottom of his lip, she heard him moan with pleasure, just causing her body to tingle with approval.

“Holy shit! Wrong room!” Kevin suddenly blurted in a horrified surprise, accidentally walking in on the passionate moment.

“Damnit, Kevin,” AJ groaned against Savannah’s lips, quickly withdrawing as a sharp blush of furiousness and embarrassment crossed her light caramel cheeks. He refused to pull away from the closeness of Savannah’s gorgeous body, just flicking his annoyed gaze upward. “You just—”

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me!” Kevin murmured with a devilish amusement, quickly crossing the length of the kitchen to exit onto the patio and into the backyard before witnessing anything else from the couple. He just shook his head at the very idea, knowing AJ had lived up to his trademark of exploiting women. But, his mind traveled elsewhere when he arrived at the backyard, his presence suddenly stopping every portion of the friendly BBQ. Everyone looked toward him in shock, causing him to just offer a sheepish smile and shrug. He didn’t want to explain himself, but he was looking for Rhiannon mostly. And, there she stood with Brian, involved in some kind of conversation. She never looked lovelier in a pair of frayed jean shorts and a butterfly printed peasant top. She had touched his heart yesterday in ways that he couldn’t explain, especially since he wanted to swear off women completely. “Am I not allowed to stop by, Fellas?”

“No… I mean…” Nick just shook his head to clear his thoughts. He shrugged helplessly. “We’ve got leftovers…”

“Thanks,” Kevin answered simply, crossing the yard to grab a soda from the cooler Howie was near. He felt the tension rise between them, but shrugged it off nonetheless. “I’d like to talk to you privately, Howie.”

“Now?”

“Later, I mean.”

“Oh, alright…”

“And…” Kevin couldn’t hide his smile. “Do you know where AJ is?”

“He took Savvy to get an ice pack for her leg...”

“Oh… You think it’s safe to let your favorite patient out to play with him?”

“Excuse me?”

“I just think you should talk to AJ about Savannah,” Kevin stated simply, taking a long swallow of his soda before moving to take Rhiannon away from Brian.

Chapter 16 - Confessions and Competitions

“Hey!” Rhiannon greeted, turning away from Brian when she saw Kevin coming towards her, “I’m glad you decided to come.”

She walked over to him, forgetting that Kevin’s younger cousin was even there, giving the older man a hug. Kevin just smiled faintly and shrugged. He was slightly embarrassed to show his presence there, being that he hadn’t really spoken to or was on good terms with any of the other Boys for around a week. The main reason he’d shown up had been to see Rhiannon. Although, now that he was there, he was glad to see all of the others as well and now had the opportunity to apologize to Savannah, who he had yet to see since the kitchen interruption, along with AJ too.

“Yeah, well...decided to come and check things out,” Kevin stated simply,
“Sorry I’m late.” He smiled when he saw Brian finally walk away after lingering around for a few seconds like a lost puppy. He didn’t know why, but his cousin caused him to feel threatened when it came to Rhiannon and he wasn’t about to lose such a sweet, great girl to him. Since he’d gotten to know her the day before, he felt a huge connection between them. He didn’t feel he was ready to take on another relationship yet, however in the near future, he could see one developing. Possibly sooner than he intended.

“No biggie,” Rhiannon replied, waving his apology off. She would never admit that she’d been searching for him and had an unnerving feeling fluttering around in her stomach at the thought of him not showing.
The two smiled at one another. Rhiannon had learned that she’d been right about Kevin once speaking to him after his apology. He was sweet and kind with a hint of sensitivity. He knew what he loved and would do anything for whatever that was or anything to get what he wanted or at least not give up without a fair attempt. He was serious with a maturity that she’d only dreamed for in a male, yet knew when it was an appropriate time to be funny and joke around. He seemed to respect and to be truthful. In so many words, he was everything she’d ever hoped for in a man and nothing like the one she’d met first off.

“Have I missed anything?” he asked her, wanting to keep their conversation going strong before he bored her. It was the first time he’d ever really put thought into impressing a woman. Usually, he was so confident in himself, he didn’t feel the need to, but she made him nervous.

“Nothing really...” she replied, then laughed, “Nick making an idiot of himself...but that’s about all.”

“Ah,” Kevin replied knowingly, “So I’ve heard.”

Rhiannon giggled, looking at Kevin, trying to read in to his thoughts. She wanted to know more about and wondered what the whole story behind his ex-wife was and what all she had taken away from him. What had she done to him to make him so insecure and afraid? Rhiannon wanted to ask, but was afraid to, feeling it really wasn’t her place to ask just yet. They had, after all, only been on good terms for a day.

“I’m sorry again for the past couple of months,” Kevin brought up as if reading her mind, “I ah, um...there was a lot going on in my life that contributed to it.”

“Yeah, um...I heard somewhat from the others about that...” Rhiannon’s voice trailed off, “I understand.” And she did. She felt sorry for him. She still didn’t like how he had treated her and her friend, as well as his own, but at least there was a logical explanation for it all.
“She just hurt me so badly, ya know?” Kevin asked, as if she needed some further explanations, “She really screwed me over.”

Rhiannon was silent, and as much as she figured he was trying to hide it, the pain in his eyes was evident. She had a strong feeling that Kevin was for the most part over his ex, being that the divorce had happened a decent time period ago, however the things that she had done to him stuck.
“She took absolutely everything....the house, cars, all of my possessions...half of the money...” he sighed, “I pretty much had to start over from scratch, living in with Brian until I had a new home of my own built to go back to. Music was...is the one thing in my life I thought to be untouchable...and then with the accident...I kind of got scared and lost it. I thought that if I let my guard down, I would lose the last thing in my life important to me, because it was the one and only thing she couldn’t get anything out of.”

Rhiannon smiled a sad smile at Kevin, upset to hear the details of his messy divorce for the second time that day, “No need to explain...” she paused, “I guess it is human nature to hold on to what you have and love...which was exactly what you were doing.”

Kevin smiled at her, thankful that she was trying to understand. He didn’t know how she wasn’t completely bitter and angry towards him, but somewhere in her good heart, she’d found room to forgive him without much of a fight. He wanted to tell her so much more about his bad relationship and the things that led up to the divorce...and the blackmail his now ex had tried to tie him down with if she didn’t get her way, but Kevin figured that there was plenty more time for that.

“Well, um...thank you...for listening,” Kevin stated, “Now hopefully Savannah will be half as rational as you.” Rhiannon laughed and shrugged, “I’m going to go talk to the others for a little bit. I’ll be sure to catch up with you later though.” He gave Rhiannon a quick hug before turning and walking away.

Rhiannon stood and watched him leave, leaving her all alone in the backyard of Nick’s mansion. She suddenly felt naked and lonely...exposed to all. Looking around, she wondered where exactly her best friend was, realizing she hadn’t seen her since she’d left the girl alone with AJ to help her.

“Hey,” Rhiannon called out, causing Kevin to turn back around, “Have you seen Savannah?”

Kevin smirked, “She’s with AJ in one of the bedrooms...” his voice trailed off, “Might want to go check it out...” he finished off with much room for imagination, causing Rhiannon to wonder what exactly he meant. She had more than enough time to get answers though from her best friend...detailed answers and this time, her dear friend wouldn’t be able to escape so easily.

*~*~*

Howie continued searching for Savannah, figuring after Kevin’s comment he was sure to find AJ with her. He’d been walking around the yard as well as the inside of Nick’s mansion for around twenty minutes now, searching for either one or both, though he wasn’t exactly sure why if he was to be honest with himself. All he knew was that he had this feeling deep in the pit of his gut giving him the determined motivation to keep searching.
“This is stupid,” Howie muttered in disgust with himself, continuing to walk around aimlessly despite his thoughts. Something inside of him wouldn’t allow him to just lay back and relax, “Completely, utterly stupid.”

He didn’t understand what Kevin had said...or why he’d said it even, but for some reason, Howie felt some sort of urgency to find the two friends of his and find out what was going on. He’d obviously missed something and been too blind to see it with his own two eyes. Something was going on...and both of them were hiding it from him, for it was obvious that everybody else knew. He continued to mutter incoherent things to himself as he wandered around, still unsure of what he was even doing.

Finally, he found himself ending up in one of the guest bedrooms. The door was closed to all but a crack. He knocked with one finger to make his presence known before pushing open the door. He found Savannah and AJ both sitting on the king sized bed casually, doing nothing more but talking. They looked up and he received a small smile from Savannah and a short wave from AJ. He smiled back, walking in further.

“Hey guys,” he greeted, “What’s going on?”

Both shrugged, Howie sensing that they were uncomfortable with his presence for some reason. Savannah gave a small blush that colored her cheeks with the palest shade of pink. He raised an eyebrow, really having an intense growing interest with what was going on. There was obviously something...he just had to get his friend AJ alone and inquire as to what it was. Howie couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous, but tried to tuck the awkward feeling in the back of his aching heart.

“Just talking,” AJ mentioned, “Savannah’s leg started to hurt, so I was helping her um, get an...ice pack for it...to make it feel better.”

“It’s working too,” she smiled, “Although another pain killer would work wonders...but my dumb ass left them back at home.” she sighed before brightening again though, “Oh well...learn from my mistakes...but talking is taking my mind off of it...” her voice trailed off and she laughed nervously.

One of Howie’s perfect eyebrows arched, wondering what that was all about. He had a growing suspicion that the couple had done a lot more than just ‘talk’ Now, he really needed to get AJ alone, wanting to know what was going on. He deserved to. He was, after all, the first of the five to really care about the girl.

“Hey, J...could I um, talk to you for a moment?” Howie asked.

“Sure,” AJ replied, not even making an attempt to move, “Shoot.”

“Alone...” Howie embellished, his voice trailing off.

AJ sighed, getting up since it was obvious that Savannah couldn’t exactly vacate the room on her own. He gave Savannah a sideways glance and a halfway smile before following Howie from the room and in to the hallway. Howie closed the door behind both of them so that Savannah couldn’t hear their discussion.

“What is this all about?” AJ asked with slight impatience in his tone. He crossed his arms over his chest, giving Howie his expectant look, just wanting the man to hurry up with whatever he wanted.

“Well...um, is Savvy okay?” he asked lamely, losing his nerve to bring up what he really wanted.

“Um, yeah...she’s doing fine.” AJ responded, “I’m taking care of her...don’t worry ‘bout it, ‘kay?”

Howie sighed, agitated with AJ’s impatient, superior attitude. He was getting the impression that he was no longer needed due to AJ being there. More jealousy bubbled up for he liked being there for Savannah and helping her out. He had even enjoyed dressing her, as awkward as it was and perverted as he sounded.

“Oh, umm, okay...” Howie’s voice trailed off, his eyes unable to focus on AJ for more than two seconds at a time. When he finally did focus though, he got the impression that AJ wanted to say something too but was holding back.

“Anything else?” AJ asked, hoping that it would be the end of the conversation and he could get back to Savannah. They’d already been interrupted from their make-out session by Kevin. He hoped that Howie would be the last inconvenience.

“No...that’s it,” Howie said after a slight hesitation. There was no need to push AJ into confessing anything if he obviously wasn’t ready to or close to doing so.

“Alright then...” AJ paused, not moving. Howie got the impression that he wanted to say something again but was holding back. He bit his lower lip nervously, “Say, um...what would you say if...um, would you care...I mean, I really like Savvy...a lot. If we dated...would you have a problem with it?”

Howie blanked for a moment, surprised that the topic came up even though he’d been expecting it. AJ and Savannah made about as much sense as Kevin and Paris Hilton...totally mismatched. He regained his perfect composure though almost as soon as he’d lost it, making the temporary chance unnoticed.

“I suppose not...” Howie’s voice trailed off, not sounding too sure of himself, but AJ was too into getting the answer he hoped for to notice this too, “I um...just treat her good...hurt her, and I’ll come after you.”

“Oh, wow...” AJ’s eyes widened, “Really...., you um, sure?”
Howie sighed, thinking about it. He wasn’t sure. He liked Savannah too, but they were way different in so many ways...compared to the kind of couple he and her would make, Savvy and AJ were relatively alike. He wanted her to be happy...and he supposed if she would be happy with AJ, his best friend, he would have to step aside and watch with the heavy-weight feeling on his heart wishing it were the other way around. He would have to keep his feelings inner and continue to hide and deny. It was for the best...

“Yeah, fine...she’s a great girl and deserves to be happy. Go for it.” Howie stated with fake enthusiasm.

“So you don’t have a thing for her?”

“Nah...we’re good ...friends, nothing more.”

“Great!” AJ grinned, “Thanks....I just wanted your approval but since I have it....wow...”

Howie smiled back a fake smile. AJ was so happy that he didn’t see the sadness and longing in Howie’s eyes or chose to look past it to forgo his own pleasure. He didn’t see the fact that his good friend was denying what was already so obvious to everybody else.

*~*~*

“You know what I find disgusting?” Nick asked through a mouth full of hamburger.

He got several groans and eye-rolls, wondering where this topic was going, almost afraid to find out. It was a little later in the day and everybody had finally met up together to eat their mid-afternoon barbeque meal. Nick had burnt the first two batches to a pile of black, crisp ashes, making third time a charm. Savannah and AJ had eventually come down on their own, joining the rest of the crew casually.

Nick’s eyes held bright hopefulness that somebody would enquire as to what he was thinking about. Nobody really wanted to know, however with Nick, he would tell them anyways at one point or another. The blonde preferred it to be like somebody cared though, getting his feelings hurt when nobody did.

“What do you find disgusting, Nick?” Brian finally asked after nobody else volunteered.

Nick’s face lit up like a Christmas tree as Rhiannon and Savannah both looked around the picnic table with worried expressions.

“What I find truly disgusting,” Nick stated, taking no time, “Is that hamburger comes from cow, right?” He got several nods, “Cows walk around all day in their own shit...which is smushed through the grass that they eat...”

“NICK,” Kevin grumbled “We are trying to eat here.”

Nick ignored Kevin, continuing on, “So we are eating...”

“NICK,” Kevin warned, already losing his appetite along with everybody else at the table. That was, everyone except for Nick, who was still eating away at his burger.

“Cow meat, which has had cow shit going all through it and lord knows what else....”

“Nick,” Kevin yelled, throwing the food he had still been attempting to eat down on his plate, fully repulsed by the sight of it now, “For the love of GOD, please be quiet.”
Nick stuck his lip out in a pout, wondering what he’d done wrong. He was finally quiet though, but it was too late. Rhiannon shrunk back slightly, wondering if there was some cause for Kevin’s drastic mood change, for when they’d been talking only twenty minutes before, he was in such a good mood.

“So, J, Savvy...you two were gone for awhile...” Nick perked up, taking notice of something everyone else had hours ago, “Whatcha two doing up there?” he wriggled his eyebrows, “Doing a little booty callin’?”
Savannah blushed furiously, dipping her head low so that her long hair would cover her reddening face and AJ shot Nick a dirty scowl for drawing attention to it. Howie had jealousy shooting through his chocolate eyes at the mention of the two, but nobody had noticed for their own attention was elsewhere...

“Talkin’...” AJ muttered, “Is that such a crime these days?” he glared at his younger friend, hoping he would just let it go with the hint he felt was so obvious. No such luck.

Nick smirked, which eventually turned in to a full out snorted laugh. His ocean blue eyes sparkled with mischief, ready to take on yet another round of tormenting his friends. It was, after all, his house. He was, therefore, free to do whatever he wanted. Before he got the chance to, Howie spoke up loudly.

“Nick...let it go...” he stated with a tired sigh, not wanting to hear about Savannah and AJ and what was obviously a relationship blooming. He’d seen AJ grab the girl’s hand, holding it softly underneath the table, “Just...be mature.”

Nick was about to protest, but another topic of conversation had already been started by Brian, with the others joining in quickly. Howie half listened, but every once in awhile would sneak a glance over at what looked to be turning into a new couple. He saw the way that they looked at each other and it was obvious that Savannah held no grudge towards the younger Latino man any longer. He felt as if he was going to be sick when he saw AJ lean in and give her a soft, light kiss on the corner of her mouth, her lips turning upward in a shy smile. Denying that he liked Savannah was turning out to be a much harder task

Chapter 17 – Avoiding the Denial

“Why is it that you need so little help getting ready for bed but a big strong man to get dressed in the morning?” Rhiannon quipped in attempts to lighten the situation of Savannah’s painful routine of rounding for bed. It seemed like hours since they returned from Nick’s BBQ ruckus, but mostly because it took Savannah so long to get prepared for bed with her heavy injuries. But, Rhiannon tried to ignore that thought as she poked into the room in time to see Savannah collapse heavily against her large bed, grimacing just at the slight movement of her still painful leg. Usually, most victims of femur fractures would be asked to start putting minimal weight bearing upon the afflicted leg after four months. But, because her leg was completely shattered from her hip to her toes, longer healing time was necessary. It was hard to help Savannah through the days, because the pain on her face was unbearable to watch. Tears would flow freely when no one was around and the depression ate at her soul. Rhiannon knew and absolutely hated to see Savannah in so much pain, both physically and mentally. But, Savannah didn’t want to talk about it, so Rhiannon didn’t push the issue. So after she was ready for bed each night, Rhiannon stepped out of the room, wiped away a few tears, and prepared to go to bed herself. Sometimes she wished Howie was there permanently, because he had such a way of making Savannah forget the pain for even just the tiniest moment and replace that old flicker of fire in her eyes. Rhiannon didn’t know what it was exactly, but it was a gift. A gift she cherished and wished that Howie could see.

“Because it’s easier to get clothes off than on, Ann. God wanted to make it somewhat easier for the opposite sex to get laid once in awhile,” Savannah was quick to retort, shrugging her healing shoulder carefully to slip the bra strap down her arm. She already had Rhiannon undo the hooks of the bra before even attempting to trudge upstairs with the heavy crutches. It was such a painstaking process that Savannah wished she could avoid. Every day of her helplessness seemed like an eternal prison, but she couldn’t let Rhiannon know. She remained cheerful and bright, hating to see the pity radiating in Rhiannon’s beautiful brown eyes.

“Is that the reason?” Rhiannon chuckled, reaching to gingerly pull the bra away from beneath Savannah’s tank top and waiting for her to lower her Capri pants. They said little about the help Rhiannon offered, trying harder to concentrate on other topics. Mostly, Rhiannon wanted to know about the kisses AJ had been giving Savannah during the ending portions of the BBQ. Nick had really been the only one to comment openly about the change, but that’s because Nick really had no class when it came to relationships.

“Well… That and the look on Howie’s face,” Savannah confided with a soft impish smirk. “He looked like he was about to pass out.”

“Well, you’re a beautiful girl, Savannah Grace.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Savannah laughed, finally managing to remove her pants and boost herself back onto crutches to lower the covers of her bed. She was exhausted from their exciting day with the Boys and just wanted to sleep forever. Perhaps, dream about AJ. He had stolen her heart in a matter of moments, which seemed surreal in other instances when she considered her tomboyish charm.

“So… It took awhile for Howie to help you get ready today?” Rhiannon repeated, hoping to lead herself into the correct conversation.

“He’s just a really big gentleman when it came to the whole procedure. He was so proper and formal about the whole ordeal. Like he was dressing a little sister,” Savannah laughed softly, for a moment wishing something more had happened with Howie at that moment. But, instantly, a guilty pain attacked her heart, because AJ had actually asked for permission to date her regularly. So, the thought of Howie was brushed away into a dark corner of her heart and the excitement of AJ’s passionate kisses focused into the center.

Rhiannon paused for a moment, waiting for Savannah to get situated with her heavy immobilizer before pulling up the blankets. “Then how long did it take AJ to get your clothes off?”

Savannah snorted in surprise, “Excuse me?”

“Kevin mentioned that he saw you and AJ upstairs in one of Nick’s bedrooms.”

“So?”

“So?!” Rhiannon gasped in shock. “You were caught sneaking up to a bedroom with a sex legend in the pop industry! Don’t be so offended when I ask whether or not you had sex! It was obvious that something was brewing between you two. I just—”

“Can we go back to the time where we didn’t talk about my sex life?”

“That’s because you had no sex life!”

“And I still don’t!”

“Still? After being in a bedroom with—”

“You already mentioned that, Rhiannon Mackenzie!”

“And you’re absolutely flustered with it! So, something had to happen!”

“We just talked!”

“Talked?!”

“Okay, more than talked, but less than having sex!” Savannah grimaced, watching Rhiannon eagerly plop on her bed for more important details. Her cheeks were practically crimson as she did her best to push the stray curls falling against her face behind her ears. “We were in the kitchen to get my ice pack and he was talking about having lunch together. He mentioned that I might have been enjoying the BBQ more so than lunch. I tried to tell him otherwise, but then he started kissing me.”

“Kissing? Plural or singular?” Rhiannon gushed with approval, knowing it was time that Savannah had someone to channel all her energy into. Without dancing, Rhiannon knew that Savannah was lost. She needed something… Or someone…

“Very plural.”

“Oh my—”

“Then Kevin interrupted us and AJ wanted to make sure that no one else did. So, he invited me upstairs into one of Nick’s guestrooms to prop my leg. It hurt so badly that I really didn’t think twice. He’s just a really great guy underneath. Romantic and so passionate…”

“So, upstairs you really did—”

“I can’t believe you think so little of me, Ann.”

“Don’t start that, Savvy—”

“But I’m serious,” Savannah answered softly, finally glancing back into Rhiannon’s light brown eyes. “I’m still a virgin. A twenty year old virgin. And I’m waiting for that perfect someone, y’know? I don’t want it to be meaningless sex. I want to have that connection, so I can actually feel the fireworks. I want it to mean something. I want it to be a gift to the man that I adore and love. Hopefully the man I end up marrying in the long run, but I won’t be skeptical. I didn’t think that a few hours away with AJ for some privacy was going to erase twenty years of conviction.”

“And is AJ that perfect someone?” Rhiannon whispered, admiring Savannah’s strength and the power of her beliefs. Yet, finding it adorable that Savannah became so shy when speaking about AJ.

“I don’t know yet…” Savannah answered, her lips curving into the sweetest smile. “But I’m willing to take the chance.”

*~*~*

Savannah honestly couldn’t stop laughing.

“Okay, I give up!” Howie finally exhaled loudly, turning from the double sink to catch Savannah’s profile at the table. He arched his dark brows in immediately question, shaking the thick layer of soapy foam from his hands. He had just made her a large breakfast and was cleaning up the kitchen since it was impossible for her to do so without causing any serious injuries. Just when he had filled the sink with warm water, the giggles had started. And, with Rhiannon at physical therapy for her burned arm, Howie was left to fend with Savannah’s bright mischief. Not that he minded. He was overjoyed with the fact that he had Savannah to himself and AJ was no where in sight. But, he refused to admit why he was so delighted with that fact. “What’s so funny, Savvy?”

“Nothing…” she trailed, spearing a piece of sausage before hunching with another snort of laughter.

“Pardon me if I think you’re full of—”

“Shit?” she laughed.

“No…” Howie chuckled. “Full of…it…”

“It being shit?”

“Savannah,” Howie groaned, turning to reprimand her cheekiness. Only, he halted within his groan, just staring at the beautiful woman propped at the kitchen table. Despite the faded scar along her cheek and immobilized right leg, Howie couldn’t help but admit how radiant she looked. Even in a loose gray t-shirt and baggy Capri jeans, she looked as if she could jump off the pages of a latest fashion magazine. He didn’t have the heart to chide her, more so, he had the heart to soften a kiss against her lips instead. But, furiously brushing those thoughts away, he plunged his hands into the soapy water to grab the first plate. “You drive me crazy, y’know?”

“Sorry…” Savannah answered, muffling a laugh against her hand as she reached for her glass of orange juice. “I just never imagined that I’d have a Backstreet Boy doing my dishes while I sit at the kitchen table enjoying a fabulous breakfast. I mean, you’re a multi-million dollar group, you could pay someone to do this for you and enjoy breakfast with me! It just seems...surreal… It’s funny…”

“Well, you have a Backstreet Boy as a…boyfriend… So, why should another Backstreet Boy cleaning your kitchen be any different?” Howie questioned, swallowing a heap of pride in order to spit out the declaration of Savannah and AJ’s budding relationship.

“He’s not my boyfriend—”

“He’s not?” Howie blurted, immediately whipping around, practically begging to hear that she turned down AJ’s offer to date regularly. But, with AJ’s increasing affection toward her the previous day, Howie’s brain told him to slow down. But his heart was hopeful. Extremely hopeful.

“I… I don’t really know…” Savannah stalled, slightly surprised by Howie’s stumble to catch her jade eyes while she spoke. She arched her light brows in question, finally leaning back against the chair to stretch her aching back. “He asked if we could see each other regularly and I said that I would enjoy that very much. I really enjoy my time with him. He’s really great and… He’s amazing… So, maybe he is my boyfriend?”

“It sounds like it,” Howie sighed, depressed with her answer and reasonable logic.

“Kind of new at all this junk,” Savannah admitted, pushing around the leftover bites of pancake. “I mean, I’ve dated and I’ve had my fun with guys. But, a serious relationship is new to me. I’m just such a tomboy that I never really checked on my emotions as a female. And I never really had the time to care about starting a relationship. Now it seems like I have too much time.”

“He doesn’t seem like your type, though,” Howie blurted without thought.

“And exactly what is my type?”

“Huh?”

“Well, you think AJ isn’t my type. So, what is my type?”

“Shit…” Howie muttered beneath his breath, knowing he had finally gotten himself into trouble. Turning again, he reached for a dish-rag to wipe the soap from his hands and seated himself beside Savannah at the table.
“You’re such a sweetheart, Savvy. I mean, you’re sweet and wholesome once you break into your hard core. You protect yourself so you won’t get hurt, but you’re filled with so much love for those that actually get inside your heart. You’d walk through the hottest fires for your family and friends. Sacrifice everything for them just to see them smile. You need a guy that respects that wholesomeness and a guy that would sacrifice everything for you. A guy that understands just because you act like a tomboy doesn’t mean that you don’t want the romance and the sweeping passion… Not the…wild bad boy…”

“Howie…” Savannah trailed, not really understanding the deep confession within Howie’s words. Instead, she processed the information into a playful jib, reaching to brush her fingers playfully underneath his chin. Seductively, she answered with a purr, “Every good girl wants the wild bad boy.”

“Damn straight!” AJ suddenly called, popping into the kitchen without warning. He offered a devilish smile as he bent over Savannah, pressing a heated kiss to her lips. He didn’t even seem to realize that Howie was present, intensifying the passionate kiss into a swirl of delight in Savannah’s fluttering heart. Gingerly, he brushed his hands down the sides of Savannah’s sweet face, admiring her as he looked down at her. “How you feeling, Savvy?”

“Mmm… Better…” she admitted with a bashful smile, realizing that Howie was still present. Usually she wasn’t so shy, but outgoing and affectionate. Yet, something about Howie knowing about her relationship made her uneasy.

“I know we were going out tonight with Rhiannon’s permission and all… But, I thought I could come over with some movies… She had something to do today so you’re all alone…”

“She’s not all alone…” Howie murmured.

“Oh, D!” AJ blurted in surprise, not even realizing that Howie had been in the room. He had been so intensely focused on finding Savannah that day that his surroundings were a mute point. He only cared about getting Savannah alone. Their passionate kisses the following day had stirred something deep inside him that he couldn’t let go. “I didn’t see you…”

“Obviously…”

“Well, you’ve got the day off, man. I’m taking care of the beauty,” AJ announced, lavishly reaching down to sweep Savannah into his arms. Pressing stirring kisses against her throat, he carried her into the living room with a deep appreciation for his newfound love.

“What a vulture…” Howie scowled as AJ disappeared with Savannah in his arms, her amused laughter trailing as Howie suspected AJ growled seductively into her ear.

“Who’s a vulture?”

“Rhiannon!”

“I’m the vulture?” Rhiannon laughed, already passing AJ and Savannah as she returned from her physical therapy. She had been delighted to see the smile on Savannah’s face as AJ gingerly placed her to the couch with several heated kisses. But, the delight dissipated when she entered the kitchen to find Howie’s forlorn face. He looked as if his best friend had passed away, just staring at the leftover breakfast he had so painstakingly made to please Savannah.

“No…”

“Then who’s the vulture?”

“Do you think now that Savannah is dating AJ that I’m somewhat obsolete as a nurse?”

“Howie, you’re our best friend, we need you,” Rhiannon assured, reaching to brush an affectionate hand in Howie’s thick dark curls. She didn’t understand the depths of Howie’s despair. “Just because AJ offered her his heart doesn’t mean that you can just disappear. She’d be so upset if you quit on us. She looks forward to when you come and gets this sad pout when you leave for the night. You’re way too important. Probably more important than AJ at this point. So, no, you’re not obsolete. You’re far too important and have a large chunk of Savvy’s affections. Besides, she said you’re the only guy that she wants to bathe her.”

Howie sighed softly, ‘Then why do I just wish that AJ and I could change places?’

*~*~*

“I’m just asking if Howie’s there… I need to tell him about the tour meeting on Tuesday… That’s why I’m here… To see if Howie’s there… He’s always there…” Kevin continued to tell himself, slowly walking up toward the girls’ condo with his hands stuffed firmly in his front jean pockets. He was hoping to convince himself that he was just looking for Howie, but Rhiannon was on his mind instead. After seeing AJ so swept up within Savannah’s life, Kevin had longed to be the same way with Rhiannon. He had tried telling himself that he wasn’t ready to get involved with a woman again. To offer his everything with the chance that Rhiannon could take it all away like Kristen. But, she made him want to take the risk. He wanted to love her like she was meant to be loved. So, that’s why he was waiting at the girls’ condo door with his hands stuffed in his pockets, praying that his cover wasn’t as weak as he originally thought. But, all confidence was erased when Savannah answered the door with a surprised smirk. And, Kevin stumbled with his words. “…Uh…Is Howie here?”

“Is his car out front?” Savannah quipped, smiling sweetly as she pushed the door open further with her crutch. Only, Rhiannon was quick to catch the door from opening all the way, hiding behind it. She chewed sharply on her fingernails, just praying that Kevin would disappear, even if she was screaming for him to stay.

“No…”

“Then I guess you have your answer?”

“I—”

“Savannah!” Rhiannon hissed loudly from inside, causing Savannah just to smile broader.

“I’m supposed to be nice to you,” Savannah sighed playfully with irritation, though she really didn’t mind Kevin’s presence. Rhiannon had been explicit with the details of Kevin’s past relationship. And, surprisingly, Savannah understood and promised not to harbor an edge against the eldest Backstreet Boy. Mostly because Rhiannon was obsessed with Kevin and wanted to form a relationship with him. And, Savannah knew that if Rhiannon was preoccupied, then she would have more freedom.

“Who’s orders?” Kevin asked, trying to peer inside to catch a glimpse of Rhiannon.

“Who’s orders would you like them to be?”

“Savannah!” Rhiannon hissed again, poking Savannah hard in the backside.

“Damn, this isn’t fun anymore,” Savannah groaned, arching her back slightly with the invasion of Rhiannon’s persistence. But, she grew tired of Rhiannon’s poking and knew it was impossible to fight the inevitable.
“Look, Rhiannon really likes you and I really don’t have the patience to deal with her nonsense. She thinks you’re probably the best man that ever walked this Earth. So, AJ’s coming over to take me out for the evening and if I wasn’t nice to you, then Rhiannon was going to make me stay home and chain my bad leg to a bed or something. So, why don’t you do us all a favor and take her out, too? That way I don’t have to be punished for her lack of a love life—”

“SAVANNAH GRACE—”

“I’d enjoy that,” Kevin interrupted, causing the door to yank open to reveal Rhiannon’s shocked face.

“Really?” she squeaked.

“Really…” Kevin agreed with a small smile.

Chapter 18 - First Dates and Mixed Signals of Attraction

Rhiannon sighed as he took of yet another outfit, throwing it aside. She was due to go out with Kevin in twenty minutes now, and in the hour and a half she’d already been trying to get ready, she had yet to be satisfied with anything. She wanted to look perfect, fabulous…she wanted him to find her attractive. Putting on just anything just wouldn’t do for that night. It had to be special.

Rummaging through her closet, nothing seemed to jump out at her. She growled in disgust, wishing that this dating thing wasn’t so hard. She hadn’t dated since she was just nineteen and her long time boyfriend had broken up with her. Heartbroken and sad, she’d never found it in her to date again, until now. She wanted to dazzle Kevin and make him realize that them going out was a good thing. She didn’t want to regret putting her heart out on the line again.

“If you throw one more outfit on the floor, it’s all going to the Good Will.” Savannah laughed, watching from Rhiannon’s bed in amusement, “Is there anything even left in the closet or is it all in a heap surrounding your feet and myself?”

Rhiannon scowled at her best friends sarcastic remarks. She looked back, trying to look mad but couldn’t hide the laugh that was surfacing from her throat. Savannah had at least four pairs of pants and six tops on top of her lap, keeping them there to prove her point. The floor was a disaster. Rhiannon blushed.

“I need to look perfect.” She defended herself, pulling up a pair of flared khaki pants over her lean hips, buttoning them up. She then put on a collared, tight fitting button up shirt in a hunter green color. She looked in the mirror, her eyes narrowing at the sight. Nothing was looking just right to her. This was driving her crazy.

“You do realize that if the doorbell rings with you in just a bra and panties, I can’t exactly run down the stairs and cover for you until you’re dressed, right?” Savannah’s eyes glowed mischievously.

“Savvy!” Rhiannon groaned with a laugh, “Only you. God, I am nervous enough as it is…” her voice trailed off.

“Just letting you know,” Savannah informed her with an impish grin, “Besides that, every single thing you’ve put on so far has looked great on you. You’re the only one who is being overly judgmental on yourself.”

Rhiannon shrugged, glancing at the clock on her nightstand. Ten minutes. She felt her heart accelerate, knowing that she had to hurry. Her stomach was in knot. Looking in the mirror again, she did a long run over her entire attire. She cocked her head to one side, taking everything in. Her hair was down, spilling over her shoulders in long curls. She had on minimal makeup, deciding to let her natural beauty shine through for the night. Then there was her outfit…

“Doorbell,” Savannah announced upon hearing the loud chime of the door coming from downstairs just as Rhiannon was sliding off her pants to change again.

Rhiannon quickly buttoned them back up, mortified. She slid on a pair of slide on heels, picking up the pile of clothing quickly to dump in to her closet, closing the door to hide the mess and ran down the stairs. Savannah laughed when she heard a loud THUD, knowing that Rhiannon had fallen.

“I’m coming!” she yelled, and seconds later the door was opening.
Savannah couldn’t make out what the two were saying, but she figured it wasn’t much when a minute later, the duo entered the room. “We’re gonna head out now, ‘kay?”

Savannah shrugged and grinned, “Fine…but, um…AJ will be here in like, half hour. Kevin, think you could manage to carry me down to the living room to wait? Beings the big, strong man that you are and all…”

“Savannah!” Rhiannon groaned, blushing at her best friend’s boldness.

Kevin just laughed as he gingerly picked Savannah up, slowly carrying her down the stairs, Rhiannon close behind. She hoped that her friend wouldn’t say anything to completely make her look like an ass in front of this man. The man she’d liked for nine years, hated for a few months and now as falling for all over again on a more personal level. She didn’t want to seem obsessed, and knew that if given the right opportunity, Savannah would make her look like some sort of freak all out of fun.

“Rhi-Rhi was really looking forward to tonight,” Savannah informed Kevin on the way down, “She took like, two hours to get ready…she really has it bad for you, Kevy.” Savannah looked back, pleased to see that her task was working in humiliating Rhiannon. She figured it would make for a good conversation piece later in the evening for the two.

Kevin chuckled at this, “I like her too.” He stated simply, gently placing Savannah on the couch, “Do you need anything else before we go?”

Savannah shook her head, “No…my JJ will be here soon. Just go out and have fun.”

“Think we can manage that,” Kevin laughed.

“Bye, Savvy,” Rhiannon hugged her friend, “See you in a little bit.”

Savannah smiled as she waved the couple off, hoping that for Rhiannon’s sake, this would be the first date of many for her and Kevin. Now all she had to do was wait for AJ’s arrival to build on her own blossoming relationship.

*~*~*

AJ made his way to the front door of the two-story condo, wondering if anybody was home. There was no car in the driveway and all the lights were out with the exception of one dimly lighting the living room. He sighed, ringing the doorbell, hoping that he wasn’t about to be stood up. He wondered if Savannah’s acting like she was in to him was just a game to get back at him for being such an asshole in the earlier months. His doubts were lifted though when he heard Savannah’s melodious voice drifting through the condo in a sweet shout, telling him to just “come on in”.

AJ unsurely turned the doorknob, slowly opening the door and slipping inside. He smiled to himself, walking softly across the floor and in to the living room to find Savannah sprawled out on the couch watching A Walk to Remember.

“Hey Sexy,” Savannah greeted, attempting to make room for AJ on the same couch as her. He sat down willingly next to her.

“Hi,” AJ huskily replied, kissing her softly on the lips before turning his gaze to the movie, “I thought you weren’t into romance stuff?”

“Not really…but it was either this or some really sappy movie that would make me wretch all over the place…” her voice trailed off.

AJ laughed, taking her into his arms and holding her there, letting her head rest upon his shoulders. He buried his nose in to her hair gently, breathing it. It smelled heavenly to him, turning him on a great deal. He loved everything about her, but knew he had to take things slow for her sake, respecting her and her privacy, wishes and way about relationships. He knew he’d have to take things at her pace.

“So,” AJ said after a minute, “You about ready to get out of here?”

Savannah looked up in to his eyes, biting her lip nervously. She was so comfortable where she was at. His eyes urged her to respond though, waiting for her speak her answer.

“I’d like to stay in tonight, if you don’t mind.”

Savannah could have sworn she saw disappointment cross AJ’s face, however it passed too quickly for her to really tell. Instead, he smiled at her, running his fingers through her hair gently as he stared in to her eyes.

“That’s perfectly alright,” he told her. “As long as I’m with you, that’s all that matters.”

“Aren’t you quite the charmer,” Savannah said softly. She couldn’t believe that she was letting herself fall so easily for AJ, but something about it just felt so right. Normally, she wasn’t one to let a guy affect her like this. Then again, for the first few months of her relationship with AJ, they’d been enemies pretty much.

The couple continued to watch the movie, Savannah nestling her body in to AJ’s comfortably. Something about the way they fit together felt perfect. They were a perfect match. He understood her wants and needs. He respected her without asking questions. AJ just sat there, perfect gentleman that he was, holding her gently in his arms as if she were a precious gem.

So when he started to kiss her, Savannah thought nothing of it. She welcomed the warm, tender kisses openly, giving in to them eagerly as well as paying him back with her own. AJ repositioned himself on the couch to make it more comfortable for the both of them as they continued to show their affection for one another with the passionate lust of their lips and tongues. AJ brought his hand up, caressing her face with his hand, rubbing her cheek tenderly as Savannah ran her fingers through his short, dark hair.

So when AJ’s hands started to wander, Savannah was surprised as he started to caress her breast. She felt slightly uncomfortable, shifting in her seat to knock his hand away from her private area, hoping that it was enough to let him know politely that he’d begun to violate her.

“Sorry,” he whispered huskily.

“Kay,” she murmured as he kissed her neck, trailing upward until he reached her mouth again.

Savannah thought he’d gotten the hint by the way he kept his hands clear of her more personal regions for a while. He just kissed her, his arms wrapped around her again in the position they’d originally started in. Everything felt wonderful again until AJ’s hand started to find its way down the front of Savannah’s loose pants. She gently pulled it away, but seconds later, it was back, reaching further down. Savannah froze, pulling his hand away as she broke free from the kisses.

“Wha…what’s wrong?” AJ asked, truly baffled by her reaction.

“I’m just not…ready for this…” she told him sternly, knowing if she was too kind, he’d only try again. He was of the male species, after all. They thought with their dick most of the time.

“I’m sorry,” he smiled apologetically, hating the thought of going against her wishes her in any way. He looked sincere enough, “Forgive me?”

Savannah nodded slowly, an unsure smile appearing on her mouth. She shifted her body upright though, telling him that the magical mood had been broken by his persistence.

“Let’s just watch some TV.” She suggested, not really giving him the option to recommend anything else.

Savannah leaned back in to his chest, placing his hands wrapped around her abdomen, her arms on top of his to ensure they didn’t move as they watched TV. She was slightly stiff and nervous now, wondering if he’d try anything again. She was there alone with him, and she knew Rhiannon wouldn’t be back for hours. The thought frightened her, then she remembered it was AJ.
He was sweet and kind. Savannah eased a bit as she remembered this. She had nothing to worry about. The night wasn’t going nearly as either had planned thought. In fact, it was far from it.

*~*~*

Kevin. He looked so perfect sitting there, his dark hair spiked up slightly, his green eyes glowing. He was dressed in black dress pants and a collared green shirt that matched his eyes. He was gorgeous, and sitting there with her, of all people. Rhiannon didn’t get it, for she really wasn’t anything special. She was just like any other average twenty-one year old girl. She had to work many hours to keep up a decent living and came home to crash or go out with Savannah for the night. She didn’t have a glamorous lifestyle. Hell, the glass of wine she was drinking cost more than an entire bottle of what she normally kept stocked in the fridge at home. The dinner would probably be costing her half of the rent for the condo.

“What are you thinking about?” Kevin asked, distracting Rhiannon from her thoughts.

She looked up at him, staring at her so patiently, even after she’d zoned out on him. She could tell that he’d been talking to her about something, and she’d completely dismissed all of it, not even hearing him. Rhiannon took in a deep breath, confused. With what, she didn’t know. Possibly this whole evening. She still didn’t understand completely why he was out with her when he had hundreds of thousands of other women after him.

“This...” she finally spoke, “What made you decide to, well, be nice to me? What changed your mind? You were so angry and...rude...and...” she thought, “You were just a completely different person from who you are now.”

Kevin smiled at her, reaching across the table as he took her hands in his, holding them lightly. He stared in to her chocolate eyes, finding her insecurity adorable. She needed somebody to love her, protect her. He could tell that she was naive and had a warm, light heart.

“That wasn’t really me,” he told her, “I...I explained before that I was just afraid. Then I started to see that you weren’t out to hurt me. You and Savannah were genuinely kind and...I...I don’t know.”

He sighed, unable to explain himself. He felt guilty inside for the months that he brushed off their injuries as if they were insignificant and minor. He knew now the severity of things since he’d become open minded to it all. Once he’d actually gotten to know the women, seeing them as beautiful people inside and out. He should have seen that when Howie had started to become friendly and sincere with them. Howie was an excellent judge of character. That should have been a sign to all of them that the girls deserved a chance and a genuine apology.

“You...you tried to talk to me too...you were sweet towards me, and even when I was an extreme asshole, you didn’t get all bent out of shape. And, well...you gave me a chance.” Kevin continued to explain when Rhiannon didn’t say anything.

“Well, I’m glad for all of this,” Rhiannon told him, “I’m really glad that you proved me wrong. For awhile, I was beginning to think that jerk-off, self centered, head up his own ass Kevin was the real you...not this version, which I thought before...everything. Kevin laughed, telling Rhiannon that he took no offense to her thoughts and views. It just made him want to be a better person. He wanted to be all he could plus more for her. She deserved that much. She deserved respect, understanding, romance and affection. In his eyes, Rhiannon deserved everything good that could come her way.

“I really like you a lot.” Kevin told her, “Just something about you...I feel myself falling.” and even as he said this, his heart fluttered lightly in his chest. She made him feel so alive inside. She made him feel a sort of happiness he never had before.

“I really like you too, Kevin.” Rhiannon replied

“I’m happy to hear you say that,” he replied, easing up a bit now that it was out in the open, spoken aloud, “You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that.” he couldn’t wait to start to get to now her. Really get to know her, inside and out, all aspects of her life.

“So is this the start of a relationship...like, just us?” Rhiannon asked Kevin, staring in to his eyes to try and read what his thoughts were. They’d gotten off on such an awful start that she was afraid that mean, hostile Kevin would come back. That seemed impossible though as she looked in to those gentle eyes, incapable of hurting anybody. There was another pause before Kevin spoke.

“Yes, I believe it is.” he told her softly, leaning to seal the evening with an affectionate kiss.

Chapter 19 – Helping the Competition

“You know, you really didn’t have to walk me to the doorstep,” Rhiannon announced softly, glancing up at her tall suitor with an adoring smile. She had been truly enchanted during the course of their first date, seeming to fall harder for him than any man in the universe. But, she decided not to make a fool of herself and admit to that small fact. She would wait for him to say it first, just so she knew that her previous idolization of the man hadn’t heightened her need to fall into some romantic fantasy. But, she had to give herself some headway and the evening with Kevin had been absolutely perfect. She truly regretted having to release his hand in order to find her keys as they settled onto the porch of the elegant condo, their bodies basked in the warm yellow lighting.

“My mother would slap me silly if I didn’t walk a beautiful lady to the door. We believe in the truth southern hospitality of Kentucky and we have a whole list of dating rules,” Kevin explained with a shake of his head and warm smile. “Besides, how else would I get my good night kiss?”

“A good night kiss?” Rhiannon questioned with a happy sigh, leaning on the door as her heart actually fluttered with the soft tune of his voice.

“Was it a good night?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Then I believe a good night kiss is in order,” Kevin insisted, bending down to her five feet, four inch stature to capture her lips in a passionate kiss that seemed to cool the muggy night air. Gently, he cupped his large hand underneath her chin, tipping her slightly to deepen the kiss before even attempting to pull away. She had cast a truly dazzling spell over him in a matter of moments. He was convinced that she would be unlike any other woman he had ever met. A woman that could never compare to his horrid ex-wife and hopefully erase the pain she had caused in her wake.

“I will never question another good night kiss,” Rhiannon breathed with a faint blush teasing her cheeks.

“Good, but what’s your take on good morning and afternoon kisses?”

“It’ll be the same for any kiss you offer,” Rhiannon promised, popping onto her tip-toes to kiss underneath his chin.

“So, I can come over tomorrow?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Great,” Kevin answered with what he assumed was his lamest grin, but it seemed to do wonders as Rhiannon beckoned him down for another kiss.

“Good night, Kev,” Rhiannon whispered, disappearing into her house as he skipped down the steps of her porch and to his car. She leaned against the back of the door till she heard the soft purr of his engine. Sighing with delight, she kicked off her heels, and sauntered into the living room in search of her best friend. Only, she ended up finding Savannah lying against AJ, between his legs, with his arms wrapped around the lower part of her abdomen. Not used to seeing her younger best friend in such a charged position, Rhiannon naturally gasped in shock. “I thought you guys were going out!”

“Ann’s home!” Savannah announced loudly when she heard Rhiannon, her voice coated with true relief. She shot up from the couch like lightening and away from AJ, looking fully prepared to leap to her feet if it wasn’t for her broken leg. But, instead, she started pushing her slightly unwelcome visitor off the plush couch. AJ had been quite sexually aroused that night, his hands seeming to slip lower and lower on her bare abdomen even with her hands grasping his. Savannah had found herself irritated with the prospect, just wanting him to leave for the evening. “Time to go, AJ!”

“You don’t need help up to your bedroom?” AJ drawled in confusion.

“God no!” Savannah blurted without thought, causing her dark jade eyes to widen when she realized the mental words had formed into her public voice when AJ visibly winced. She felt a slight guilt wash over her body, but she couldn’t imagine AJ whisking her up to bed after their night had gone completely haywire. She just wanted to escape in hopes that it was all a horrendous nightmare. But things seemed to be getting worse as she struggled to grasp her crutches. “I meant that Ann can help me up the stairs—”

“Are you sure—”

“Yes, AJ,” Savannah insisted as he stood from the couch. She crutched toward the door and motioned for him to follow.

AJ just glanced at Savannah with confusion, utterly perplexed as to what he could have done so wrong. He wanted to reach out and kiss her goodbye, but she pulled away the second his hand landed gently on her bare shoulder. His throat constricted with pain, knowing the night had gone terribly wrong, but wanting to fix it quickly. “Savvy—”

“I’ll see you later, AJ,” Savannah interrupted, leaning to peck a quick kiss to his cheek. Though, it was evident that Savannah felt forced to do so and made it as friendly as possible. Her entire posture had stiffened dramatically when AJ neared her. She even refused to make eye contact, making no future plans for dates as he simply shuffled out the door like a dog with his tail between his legs. But, Savannah didn’t seem concerned as she immediately turned for the stairs, having no qualms about whether he called or not. She was foolish to think that a man so sexually geared would be able to handle himself properly when she insisted she was ready for sex.

“What the Hell was that about?” Rhiannon instantly fired.

“Why is it that when men hear that a woman is a virgin that they immediately make it some goldenly dickheaded conquest to deflower her by any means necessary in the shortest amount of time possible?” Savannah retorted with a grunt, doing her best to concentrate on the steps so she didn’t fall and injure herself again.

“You told AJ you were a virgin?” Rhiannon squealed from behind her friend, instantly following Savannah into her bedroom for the necessary details. She had been best friends with Savannah long enough to read into her rhetorical questions that were charged with a sarcastic venom.

“Why the Hell wouldn’t I tell him that I was a virgin? I wanted everything out in the open. I’m not ready for sex and I didn’t want him jumping into this relationship thinking he could tap my ass whenever he felt like it,” Savannah admitted frankly, falling back onto her thick bed and reaching for her boxers and tank top that were thrown on the edge. She grunted in frustration when she couldn’t reach, but Rhiannon followed suite and handed them over. Growling with frustration at her situation, Savannah snatched them and attempted to undress herself for the evening.

“And he was okay with that?” Rhiannon breathed, pitching in when necessary to help her friend.

“He said that he would take it slow and respect my wishes. God, what kind of asshole am I to think that he would actually listen? Women must have constantly been laying down for him for years. He probably can’t take no for an answer, right?”

Rhiannon paled for a moment. “He didn’t…”

“No! Lord, no! I stopped him before anything could start. But then I had to keep stopping him throughout the night. I think he wanted to go out tonight and I suggested that we stay in to watch a movie. I had the lights off and… Do you think I sent some kind of wrong message? ”

“Since when has Savannah Grace ever doubted herself?”

“I’ve never really been in a strong relationship before. I don’t know how this shit works.”

“Do you want to have sex with AJ?”

“No, not yet.”

“And you told him?”

“Yes.”

“Then, trust me, you didn’t send any kind of wrong messages,” Rhiannon assured as she helped Savannah into bed while propping up her delicate leg. Then, when Savannah seemed situated, Rhiannon undressed, clicked off the light, and moved to crawl in bed with Savannah. It was obvious that the younger girl needed comforting and Rhiannon didn’t want to leave her alone.

“Well,” Savannah drawled into the darkness of her room with a sigh, not wanting to dwell on her frustrations. And, quickly, Savannah seemed to remember what the purpose of the evening had been. “How was your date with Kevin?”

“Fantastic!”

“Oh really? Just fantastic?”

“Savvy, I think I’m in love!”

*~*~*

“What are you doing here?” Howie questioned in surprise, watching AJ storm into his home with a dark cloud of depression lingering in his slumped posture. It was obvious that Howie didn’t expect to see his best friend and confidant, especially after AJ had made an official serious status of his relationship with Savannah. If anything, AJ was always swarming Savannah and Rhiannon’s home in what Howie thought was an almost obsessive love affair. That’s why he was even more surprised when Savannah called, asking if he would take her to the orthopedic surgeon appointment. Howie had quickly agreed, despite his surprise, to remain her knight in shining armor and escort her to the appointment. And, truth be told, Howie had first been excited when she asked, thinking that she was starting to see him as more than just a simple best friend. Yet, he quickly remembered that AJ wasn’t exactly the doting boyfriend that would take Savannah to various appointments. If it didn’t involve having fun, then AJ would become easily bored and irritated. So, Howie soon realized he had been second choice in her heart.

“Do I have to have a reason for coming to see you?” AJ quipped back, though the sarcasm was hardly apparent as he wilted into a nearby recliner. He had been miserable since Savannah bluntly pushed him out the door after an extremely awkward date. He couldn’t imagine what had gone wrong so quickly, but realized something was wrong inside her heart. And, when she never bothered to return his phone calls, the realization sunk quickly. He felt his heart practically shatter into pieces, knowing he had done something foolish to cause her pain. And, he could only figure that Howie would have the quickest way to her heart, because he was like an older brother to her.

“Not usually, but you’ve been so caught up with Savvy that—”

“I need your help, okay?”

“Need my help with what?”

“With Savvy.”

“Why would you need my help when it comes to Savvy?”

“Because you’re like a mix of a best gay guy friend and big brother. She tells you every little single detail in her life. Stuff that a boyfriend isn’t allowed to hear. Stuff that I need to know to fix things.”

“Thanks, J,” Howie sighed.

“So will you help?” AJ questioned, subconsciously ignoring whatever might be wrong with his friend as he focused on his own ordeals.

“Well…” Howie trailed for a moment, not really sure if he wanted to help. If AJ and Savannah were already having problems, there was hope for him still. But, he had to act as if he cared, so he swallowed any gleeful smiles, seating himself back on the couch. “What happened, J?”

“We had a date planned the other day, so I came over to pick her up. Only, she was sitting on the couch in the dark watching a movie. She invited me to sit down and suggested that we stay in for the night. I was all into that, y’know, but I have that ADD-shit or something… So, I started kissing her and she was enjoying it. I moved so we could get more comfortable and—”

“You guys…” Howie couldn’t even find the courage to finish his sentence. It truly felt as if his heart had been ripped away from his body. And AJ was the bastard holding the beating heart just out of Howie’s grasp for a sadistic torture.

“No, that’s the problem!” AJ burst, frowning at the thought that he wasn’t able to go as far as he was longing to go. “We were enjoying ourselves and she just sends this huge block of ice at me. She stops everything and says she’s not ready—”

“Dear God, J, she’s still a virgin, y’know?”

“Of course I know she’s still a virgin—”

“So what made you think that she would be willing—”

“I don’t know okay?”

“She’s not like those other girls you’ve dated before—”

“I know, okay?” AJ practically growled. “I fucked up, plain and simple. But now she won’t answer any of my phone calls, she won’t call me back, and I’m going insane. I need your help to think of some romantic way to say I’m sorry. Please?”

“I don’t know how you want me—”

“Howie, you’re the most romantic idiot I know. Please? The last time I did something romantic for her it blew up in my face. I just get so nervous because she is different like my other girlfriends. She’s special and someone I can see spending the rest of my life with.”

“J, this isn’t my place—”

“Please, Howie? God, I’m begging you here!”

“I know, but—”

“I love her, D.”

Howie immediately broke eye contact with his best friend, overly ashamed with himself for being so selfish. The rules of dating had played fairly in this love triangle. AJ had asked Savannah for a date first, so Howie should back down gracefully. If anything, he should have been grateful that AJ found such a wonderful girl compared to all the mishaps he found at dingy bars in the past. And, AJ had admitted that he loved her, which had attacked Howie’s heart like a lethal bacteria. So, he caved, “Savvy told me that she loved playing board games when she was little and when she was in the hospital, I brought some games and we played all night long. So, go buy the game Sorry for her. Attach a red rose and an apology letter onto the box, telling her to call when she’s ready for a game.”

“God, D, that’s brilliant!” AJ perked immediately. “She’s going to love me forever!”

“That’s exactly what I was hoping for, J…”

*~*~*

“Damn, Savvy! You’re about twenty pounds lighter without that heaping mound of metal wrapped around your leg!” Howie teased brightly, boosting Savannah gingerly onto his back as she requested. They had just returned from a somewhat hopeful doctor’s appointment, so Howie demanded that he make her a fancy feast for a celebratory dinner. Savannah had no reason to oppose, simply wrapping her arms around his neck from behind as she demanded a piggyback. Howie had cheered her up immensely since the disastrous date with AJ. She honestly couldn’t have asked for a better friend or companion, besides Rhiannon of course.

“Glad to know that I’m not classified as a porker anymore,” Savannah chirped back, causing Howie to laugh with approval. “But, thank you so much for going with me today. It means—”

“I wanted to come and wouldn’t ever think about letting you go with anyone else,” Howie interjected, popping open her front door and stepping inside. He instantly pushed her crutches into the corner, fully content on carrying her everywhere she needed for the night. So, refusing to let her slip from his back and making sure to hold tight to her still painful leg, he walked into the living room. He turned his back to the couch, preparing to let her down, but she yelped with a screech of laughter.

“DON’T PUT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT MESS!”

Howie jumped in surprise, whipping around with Savannah still clinging to him. His dark brown eyes widened in shock to find Kevin and Rhiannon wrapped in each others arms, obviously having been interrupted from an entirely too private moment. Howie’s cheeks immediately blushed crimson despite his dark features as Savannah laughed hysterically into his back.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t know that you were – well I didn’t even know that you two – Er – I am so sorry—”

“It’s okay,” Kevin assured with a soft chuckle, helping Rhiannon sit up as she covered her face with obvious humiliation. “We were waiting for you two.”

“That’s what you call waiting for friends?” Savannah quipped, pulling herself up on Howie’s back to peek over his shoulder.

“Nice to see you again, too, Savvy,” Kevin greeted, “I see we might have to invest in saddles for us boys when we come to visit. You seem to like riding us around.”

“If you’d help break in the leather with me,” Savannah approved, obviously not bothered by his quips.

“Savannah!” Rhiannon groaned in mortification.

“Sorry, Ann,” Savannah snickered, allowing Howie to settle her onto the opposite couch before taking a seat beside her.

“How was your appointment?” Kevin asked, allowing Rhiannon to gather herself as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“It was okay, I guess. I got the immobilizer off and everything seems stabilized. The bone is actually starting to grow and heal, but I still have to stay completely off the leg. Crutches for another few weeks and if everything goes okay, maybe, just maybe, we’ll start physical rehabilitation afterwards,” Savannah sighed, glancing down at her propped leg. The doctor had suggested keeping a tight sleeve of fabric over the leg from high thigh to foot, explaining that it would keep the swelling to a minimum. Savannah didn’t mind too much, still highly self-conscious about the surgical scarring and where the bone had been popped out from the skin. She was still obviously stressed with the idea of being bed ridden for several more weeks. She had been so active with dancing and it seemed like a waste not being able to move without fiery pains.

“What’d he say about dancing?” Rhiannon questioned softly, swallowing her embarrassment as she glanced to her best friend.

“I’d rather not talk about that,” Savannah quickly replied, averting her gaze. The doctor had been extremely blunt about her career, mostly stemmed with the idea that she should look elsewhere for financial support. It had hurt worse than the original accident, because dancing had been her life. She felt at peace whenever she expressed herself through dance. It gave her confidence and the passion she put behind it could never be matched by any other dancer. And to have it taken so quickly was heart wrenching.

Rhiannon sighed softly with disappointment, “Savvy—”

“What are you two doing tonight?” Savannah rounded, stressing the point that she refused to talk about that subject.

“Staying in, I suppose?” Kevin murmured, glancing to Rhiannon.

“Sounds good to me,” she agreed.

“Then you should spend the night!” Savannah announced quickly, glancing back to Howie with a broad smile. She patted his knee with delight, causing him to furl his dark brows in confusion. “I really don’t want to be alone tonight with these two. And, I’d actually like to try to take a bath tonight, but there’s no way that Ann can support me with her arm still being sore. I’ll even let you stay in my room and even sleep in my bed. It’s not like I have to worry about some virgin sacrifice with my best guy friend—”

“Oh! AJ stopped by and put something in your room, Savvy.”

“Thanks…” Savannah trailed, not really knowing why Kevin picked that moment to announce AJ. She brushed the thought off, glancing back to Howie with hope. “So, will you spend the night?”
“Sure…” Howie agreed, never letting Savannah see the longing radiating from his dark eyes when he realized that what he felt for her would probably never be reciprocated.

Chapter 20 – Love in the Air

Savannah smiled as Howie left her room, wondering if she even deserved a friend who was so sweet and supportive of her needs. Here he was bending over backwards to make sure she was comfortable and had not only everything that she needed, but wanted as well, but he had never once frowned at any of it. He’d never once made it seem like an obligation, always catering to her with a smile. She knew that he had his own things to take care of, but he never once let on to it, acting as if his own duties could wait indefinitely until she was better. This time, he’d left to make them something to eat, wanting to do it himself rather than call for carryout, delivery or even have Rhiannon and Kevin do it.

Looking around her room, Savannah spotted something sitting on her dresser. She raised an eyebrow, wondering how she hadn’t noticed the medium-sized box before. It was right there, so obvious and in clear, plain view. Curiosity getting the better of her, Savannah scooted herself carefully downward to the edge of her bed, reaching across the two foot gap and pulling the box off with her finger tips. She grinned triumphantly when the box was in her lap, scooting herself back up to her pillows, leaning against them in pure bliss and comfort.

Once positioned, Savannah looked down at the box, seeing it was neatly wrapped with a bow tied around the top. Attached to the box was an envelope with her name scrawled neatly across the center. She arched an eyebrow, remembering now what Kevin had said about how AJ had been in her room to drop something off. She wondered what it was as she gently peeled open the envelope, pulling out a card with a bull dog on the cover, his head drooped low. He appeared to be pouting. Savannah looked at the dog for another moment before opening the card. It was blank other than what AJ had written out himself, filling the card with his own words.

Savvy,

I just wanted to apologize for the other night. I will admit that at first, I didn’t realize what I did wrong, but after talking to some people, they helped me to realize that I was an ass with hormones on overdrive. I didn’t mean to invade you in any way. I care a lot about you and would never hurt you on purpose. Please forgive me and lets try things again. I promise that I’ll be good. I just want to see you again. You make my world go round since I met you. Please, just at least consider giving me a chance.

Love,
AJ

Savannah couldn’t help but smile despite how upset she still was with him. He sounded so sincere and pathetic. A small chunk of ice she had built around her heart towards him melted slightly, the rest of it melting slowly around the edges. Savannah knew she couldn’t give back in to him so easily though. It would ruin everything and AJ would go on thinking he could get away with whatever he wished with her and she’d always keep on taking him back as if it were nothing.

Keeping this in mind, Savannah placed the card back in the envelope before starting to peel the ribbon off of the package, tearing off the paper carefully. The box was folded shut, making her access easier. Unfolding the flaps, she peered inside, first brining out a single red rose, the end placed inside of a small water tube to keep it alive. She brought it to her nose, taking in the sweet scent of it before placing it down beside her, diving in to the box for the next gift. She pulled out the board game, Sorry, brand new and wrapped in the cellophane plastic. On the top was a post it that matched the writing in the card: I know you love board games…give me a call if you need a rival to play against or just feel like talking. You have my number.

The last bit of ice was completely gone by now, her heart a pool of liquid. AJ definitely knew how to win a girls heart over with unique, original romantic ways. He held her in the palm of his hand, and although she was afraid to give in to him for fear that he’d try something again, it was something she was willing to do, feeling as though she could have something very special with the man if the relationship was given the care and nurturing that it needed with patients and sincerity.

Listening carefully for any signs that Howie was returning, she carefully packed away the gifts, dropping the box on the floor next to her before picking up her cell phone, pressing in the speed dial for AJ.

She brought the phone to her ear, listening to it ring six times before there was an answer.

“Hello?”

Savannah froze, her mouth suddenly dry upon hearing his voice. What was she going to say to him? She’d treated him like a leper the remainder of the evening and had avoided him with all she had in her ever since. Here she was, calling him up and her mind was blanking out in a serious way.

“Hello? Anybody there?”

Savannah took in a deep breath to calm her nerves down before finally answering, “He…hello…AJ? It’s me…Savvy.”

There was a long pause and Savannah wondered if he’d hung up on her. Or maybe she should hang up on him and continue the silent treatment. Savannah was confused. All she knew for sure was that she was falling for this man, and despite how much he’d betrayed her trust and hurt her the other day, nothing could stop her feelings from growing stronger. Seconds later, he spoke again
“Wow…um…wow…hi Savvy.” He sputtered, obviously a little bit baffled, “I um…I wasn’t thinking you’d call…especially so soon if at all….” His voice trailed off, “Um, how’ve you been?”

Savannah smiled to herself, glad to know that she obviously held some sort of power over him as well. He was like jello at the moment speaking to her, and it gave her some sort of satisfaction to know that he wasn’t entirely confident. Maybe her blowing him off for a while had been a good thing, forcing him to think about what he’d done wrong and come to his senses.
“Decent,” Savannah replied, “I just called to thank you for the gifts and apology. It was very…noble of you.”

There were a few minutes of silence. Savannah didn’t know if she’d offended him or both were just feeling awkward, unsure of how to communicate with one another after the most recent events of their relationship. It was as if his perverted actions had created a barrier between them that would be almost impossible to break down unless given the proper care and cautions.

“Listen, Savvy…I’m so sorry about what happened,” AJ said, “I…I don’t know what came over me. I…you’ve got to realize I’m used to the kind of girl who is more than willing to jump in to bed with me…she’s the type that normally makes the first move. It…I’m sorry. You’re much more special than any of them and I want to make it up to you. You deserve respect and I didn’t show you that. I’d like to prove that I can give it to you, if you’ll let me.”
Savannah paused, not sure of how to react. She really did like AJ a lot, and with time, she felt she could even love him. He’d hurt her though, and she didn’t know if she could fully trust him. She wanted to give him the chance though. The question was, could she? Savannah bowed her head, truly confused with her mixed feelings of emotion. She didn’t know what to do, but knew she’d have to make up her mind.

“AJ, it’s fine,” she finally sighed, feeling that he was sitting there on the other line, anticipating her response, “I’d like to meet you somewhere…um, so we can talk?” she offered lamely.

“How about tonight?” he eagerly asked.

“Tonight is no good,” Savannah told him immediately, “Howie is here spending the night with me…we’re hanging out. So…”

Her voice trailed off as an uncomfortable silence fell between them. For some reason, Savannah sensed that AJ was jealous of the fact that Howie was there. He had no reason to be though. For one, her and Howie were just good friend and two, neither man owned her, therefore…

“Oh, well…I’ll call you tomorrow then and we can make plans, aight?” AJ asked, interrupting her thoughts. He was hoping that she would agree.
“Sounds good,” Savannah agreed, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs, knowing that Howie was returning, “I gotta go though, so I’ll talk to you later, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” AJ stated, sounding reluctant to get off of the phone, “Goodnight.”

“Night.” Savannah replied, hanging up the phone just as Howie walked in to the room, “Welcome back!” she smiled brightly at him.

“Thanks,” he set down a tray of deluxe nachos with cheese, smothered with melted goo, meat, and lettuce, “Food is served…sorry it took so long,” he apologized, “I was having a hard time finding everything and Kev and Rhiannon are at it on the couch again…so, I decided I would find it all eventually…” his heart swelled when Savannah laughed, then his eye caught the box in her lap, “What’s that.”

Savannah looked down as Howie sat next to her. She looked back up at him as she picked up the box, dropping it down on the floor next to her. “Just some stuff that AJ dropped off for me…” she stopped, “An apology thing for being human’s biggest asshole towards me,” she sighed, “I think he’s sorry.”

“I know he’s sorry,” Howie told her, forcing what he hoped to be a convincing smile, “Let’s turn that movie on now.”

Savannah agreed, her and Howie getting cozy under a warm blanket. The movie started and Savannah rested her head on his shoulder. Howie felt tingles going up and down his body, as Savannah thought about nothing other than AJ’s sweet, kind gesture. Little did she know, it was Howie who had so selflessly given AJ the ideas to win her back, wishing that it were he himself who had her heart.

*~*~*

Kevin held a goofy grin on his face as he stepped in to Brian’s home. They’d agreed to have a meeting that morning to discuss some issues with their upcoming tour. Even though it was still a few months away, there was a lot to get done. His mind wasn’t even close to being on the meeting though.
Rhiannon consumed his every thought, and the night before had been incredible. He felt like he was falling in love. It scared him, yet he knew that the sweet, innocent girl wouldn’t hurt him.

“Uh-oh, Kev’s got himself a sweet little lady to love on,” Nick laughed, the first to notice Kevin walking around in a daze. It wasn’t long before the others eyes were on their oldest friend, seeing that Nick was right.
Kevin though, was completely oblivious to all existence. In fact, he couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten to Brian’s. His car was outside, he had driven himself, but the steps he’d taken to get there weren’t memorable. He’d been in a trance, his instincts and well knowledge of he area leading his way there.

“He’s gone,” AJ chuckled, watching the tall, dark man mechanically make his way to the living area, sitting down on one of the couches. The other four watched in amusement, Kevin still unaware of his surroundings, “He’s completely gone.”

“So, anyways…” Howie asked, giving AJ an evil sideways glare before looking around the room, “What’s this all about?”

“I feel we should wait until Kevin comes back to us until begin,” Brian laughed, looking at his cousin. He was still smiling, a far-away look in his green eyes. They seemed brighter, more full of life, than they’d been in a very long time, “So he’s clued in on it all.”

Brian received several nods, everybody agreeing with this. Kevin had kind of fallen in to the position of the unwritten authority of the group.
Sure, they all had equal say, but Kevin had a strong influence on the others. If he was zoning in and out of reality, then chances were, the rest of them wouldn’t be able to focus. Kevin was the one who helped them keep their ground…other than Nick, whose attention span was as long as a gnat. They needed to focus on this issue though. Time was running out.

“Kevin!” Brian said sharply, drawing Kevin out of his daydream of the previous night with Rhiannon. He was still smiling, but the hazy look in his eyes was clearing, “What’s up with you? Everything peachy?”

“Huh?’ Kevin asked, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, “Oh, yes...everything is great.”

Snickers and chuckles filled the room. Their friend, normally so mature and on top of things, was acting borderline giddy. It was rather comical in their eyes to see the man they looked up to acting like such a fool in love.
It was like watching some sort of comedy from the front row, amusing and just too good to look away from and miss. It was one of those things that
Kevin would never live down for a long time, for he was the one with the least group blackmail against him. This little incident would be perfect to add to his personal collection.

“Care to share the details of your evening with the lovely Ann?” Howie asked.
Kevin just smiled so wide, it couldn’t be peeled off with a tow truck, thinking back to the night before, “It was perfect. She is the sweetest, most sincere person I know. She made me a great dinner. She was going to school to be a chef at first, but decided that cooking was more of a leisurely thing for her rather than a profession. After dinner, we just sat on the couch and watched a chick flick…which was actually very good…”

“Did you really even watch it though, Kev?” AJ raised an eyebrow at the older man.

Kevin blushed, “I…yes, some of it!” he said defensively, “What we saw was good…” his voice trailed off, “Looking at her was good…and the kissing was…”
“Ah-ha!” all four cried out at once, causing Kevin to hide his humiliated face. He wasn’t used to feeling this way. It was something new, but it felt great. He was on cloud nine, his heart fluttering at every thought of his Rhiannon.

“So, everything is going good, I take it?” Nick asked, smiling on the inside. If it hadn’t been for him being drunk and the accident, Kevin would still have the stick, or rather tree branch, shoved tightly up his ass. It seemed everything was fate, working out for a reason in some weird way.

“Perfect.” Kevin said, “It honestly couldn’t be better.”

Howie, Brian, AJ and Nick all looked at their friend, happy that his life was finally taking a turn for the better. Kristen had robbed him of nearly everything, but now he had Rhiannon, who was making him see life in a positive light again. She was good for him, and he was good for her.
They clicked so well, anybody could see it. Their relationship was something special, even as new as it was.

“I hate to break up the happiness, but we are hear for a reason,” Brian reminded them all, “So now that that is all off of your chest, think you can focus?” he asked, looking directly at Kevin.

“Yeah, sure,” Kevin replied.

Brian smiled, happy that things were finally turning around smoothly in every ones lives, “Okay, now lets get down to business…”

*~*~*

Savannah shook as Howie left the small coffee shop. The plan had been that Howie would drop her off, helping her to get settled inside, and then he would disappear, waiting in his dark-window tinted car for her to finish talking with AJ. After that, she would call him on his cell phone to come back and get her. The plan seemed foolproof…perfect. That way, if Savannah started to get uncomfortable, she could speed dial to Howie, and it would be his signal to get his ass back to her.

So as she sat waiting for AJ, Savannah wondered if this had been a mistake. Was she ready to face the man who’d tried to literally get in her pants yet? She wasn’t sure, wondering if she should just leave, placing a note on the table for AJ apologizing, telling him they’d meet another time when she felt she was more calm and stable. Just as she was about to phone for Howie though, the slim, muscular Latino came through the doors, taking off his dark sunglasses as he did so, placing them atop his head.

“Sorry I’m late,” he stated, sliding in to a chair across from Savannah, who had her bad leg propped up on the chair next to her, “Traffic was a bitch coming from my direction.”

“I…it’s okay.” Savannah replied meekly, feeling like a caged animal being cornered, “I wasn’t waiting long.”

AJ gave her one of his famous smiles, it making her knees weak and her heart melt. Why was he doing this to her? He made her so uncomfortable yet so happy all at the same time. She felt like she was falling in love with the man, even though he’d almost hurt her…several times.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet me,” he stated, “I don’t think that you’ll regret it at all.”

Savannah just shrugged her slim shoulders, hating the way he was staring at her. H made her so paranoid after their last encounter. Savannah knew that she should give him the benefit of the doubt and trust he wouldn’t do anything again until she was absolutely ready, but she just couldn’t. He’d have to prove that to her. It would take more than one measly cup of coffee to show her that too.

AJ looked at her oddly, sensing that she really didn’t want to be there. He was at loss for words, wondering what to say, nothing coming to mind. What he hoped was still his girlfriend just sat there, looking so vulnerable and beautiful. She was his angel, in so many words. He had messed up in almost the worst way possible, and he wasn’t sure if anything could make her want him again. This thought made his heart swell in pain, hoping that wasn’t the case.

“So, how’ve you been?” he finally asked lamely.

“Okay, I guess,” she said softly, “Just getting by in life, ya know?” AJ nodded, knowing what she was talking about more than she might have realized, “Trying to heal and get better…it’s a damn slow process.”

“I can tell you’re feeling better though,” AJ offered, hoping it would open her up a little more, “You don’t seem to be in as much pain.”

“Either that, I’m just getting used to it,” Savannah gave a small laugh, “I haven’t decided which it is yet.”

“You still look lovely though,” AJ complemented. Savannah bowed her head, avoiding his eyes. She shifted uneasily in her chair, her leg crying out as a pain shot through it. Savannah winced, but didn’t let it show, knowing she’d have to be more careful, “Listen, Savvy…you do realize how sorry I am, right?”

Savannah didn’t do anything for a second. She kept her eyes down. She shrugged slowly, her head lifting bit by bit until she was finally looking at him. She bit her lip, not knowing how to answer. None of this made sense.
If he was so sorry, why had he done it in the first place? There were so many questions swirling around in her head, none of which she had answers to, other than that AJ was trying awfully hard to win her affection back. A little too hard, maybe.

“I never meant to heart you, Savvs,” AJ finally sighed, “I know you don’t know what to say, or even how to react…I know that I am the last person that you want to see. You don’t have to say anything though. Just think about this. I don’t know what to say other than I am sorry and want to show you I can be the perfect boyfriend to you. So please, will you give me the chance to do that.”

Savannah again said nothing for a very long moment. She wanted to give him this chance so badly, but then again, she was terrified to. Could she trust him? Should she? Savannah honestly didn’t know. It all seemed so surreal to her. Never in her life did she ever think she’d have these feelings for somebody. Here they were though, and as hard as she wanted to, Savannah knew she couldn’t just erase them without giving them a real try.

“Okay.” She finally whispered, watching the smile spread across AJ’s face. The smile that had caused her to fall for him in the first place.

Chapter 21- He Loves Her

He really didn’t know what he was doing as he slumped further into the driver’s side of his expensive car, just staring across the somewhat busy street toward the overpriced coffee shop. After all, it had been over two hours since he positioned Savannah comfortably in her seat and gave her a vote of confidence about the meeting. She said that she would most likely be calling him any moment, but those moments passed with a painstaking slowness that just seemed to make Howie’s heart ache further. He should have just driven away, knowing she’d decided to give AJ another chance. After all, Howie had given AJ the keys to Savannah heart. There was no doubt in his mind that his best friend would be forgiven. But, he waited nonetheless. Maybe it was just another hope upon hope that his phone would chirp and her melodious voice would beg him to rescue her away from the disaster…

Just a few more minutes…

She would need him…

However, the more he waited, the worse he seemed to feel about the situation. He now found himself to just be another sleaze. As if he was a tainted private eye attempting to score priceless photographs for a devious blackmailing plot. Exhaling loudly, Howie slipped all the way down into his seat to hide, though his windows were darkly tinted to prevent anyone from seeing inside. He was just trying to hide away from those taunting words in his heart - the words that seemed to replay during every passing moment of the day. The words that had attacked his heart when he lay curled next to a sweetly slumbering Savannah beneath her expensive comforter after an evening of movies:

You love her. There’s no way that you can possibly deny it. You’ve been with her for how many months and the feelings haven’t really changed. They’ve only gotten increasingly stronger. Why let AJ win? Are you that scared of your feelings? AJ can have any woman he wants and they’ll never be like Savannah. And he’ll never appreciate Savannah the way that you do. You know he’ll use her and abuse her heart. Never in your life would you think of doing those things. You just want to love her unconditionally, because, face it, she’s probably the only perfect match waiting for you in this world. Yet, you’re too scared to step up to the challenge. Too afraid that she’ll reject you for the bad boy... But if you feel so terribly inside, what could it hurt? After all, you love her—

Suddenly, there was an annoying chirp in his ear, causing him to spring to alarm. He jumped from his stooped position, only to connect his head with the top of the car hood. He hissed in pain, fumbling to reach for his small cell phone. Quickly, he flicked it open and peered out the window to catch a glimpse of Savannah.

“Hello?” Howie murmured softly, his heart seeming to pop as he caught Savannah and AJ outside the coffee shop. They were nestled into the little alcove, AJ’s arm wrapped delicately around her slim waist. He was holding her upright while she concentrated on the cell phone, never letting her injured leg even dare to touch the ground. And, she didn’t seem to be fighting the hold, allowing AJ to nibble privately on her neck while she communicated with her best friend. It looked like nothing had happened between them.

“Howie! Hey!”

“Hey, Savvy—”

“I just wanted to tell you that…” her voice trailed as she actually giggled softly. Howie squinted his eyes to find AJ working his ‘forgive me’ kisses up the side of her jaw. “…Tell you that AJ’s going to take me home.”

“Everything’s fixed then?”

“Yeah, thanks so much, Howie.”

“No problem, Savvy. I’m…” Howie swallowed the pain. “…Happy for you.”

“Me, too,” AJ’s raspy voice chuckled in the background, obviously listening in on the conversation.

“I guess I’ll see you around?” Savannah trailed.

“Yeah, I’m still your nurse, right?”

“The best nurse I’ve ever had,” Savannah agreed as AJ mumbled something against her neck, causing her to laugh again. “I better go. Thanks again, Howie. I love you!”

“Take care, Savvy,” Howie whispered, dropping his cell phone onto the leather seat. He watched with a heavy melancholy as AJ whisked Savannah into his arms, carrying her back to his car. And, instantly, Howie revved his engine. He had seen enough, knowing that the ‘I love you’ he dreamed about was nothing more than friendship. So, he sped down the small intersection, heading toward a place where he knew he’d be accepted. A place where he hopefully could get his mind off Savannah.

But he was wrong.

“What are you doing here, Howie?” Rhiannon laughed in slight surprise, glancing up from her lunch to see him standing just beside her leather chair. She tossed her fork back into the somewhat fresh salad, standing to hug him gently. She had just gotten back into the swing of working, because she needed to scrounge the payments for the condo since Savannah was still on a limited disability check. Though, it seemed tight because Rhiannon had to take enough customers to insure an easy living, but still make enough time to take care of Savannah when the boys weren’t available. It seemed stressful until Kevin had stopped by earlier with her lunch and promises to meet her after work. Now she considered the day extra special because Howie had shown.

“Are you busy?” he questioned, glancing into her cinnamon eyes with a painful apprehension. He had driven like a banshee to her place of employment, hoping to escape from the heartache. But, glancing around her working area, he was brought instantly back into Savannah’s life. Dozens of pictures of the girls littered the cleanly area, many of Savannah in a skimpy bikini. She looked so radiant in each photograph, her somewhat long curls tossed into a messy bun, her perfectly toned and lithe body radiating from the limited amount of clothing as she made funny faces to cause Rhiannon’s pictures to tilt slightly with her laughter. It caused his heart to flip as his stomach knotted.

“No, it’s my lunch break. Need a haircut?”

“You—”

“It’s on the house,” Rhiannon quickly promised, picking up Howie’s need to speak. She found it easier for her clients to speak about intimate details when they were in her chair. Her focusing on their follicles gave them a chance to speak freely for some unknown reason. So, gently she pushed Howie into her chair, draping the necessary cloak over his good clothing. She ran her fingers through his growing locks, leaning down to smile at him in the mirror. She instantly remembered that Savannah loved his curls slightly shorter and tossed messily around with a touch of control gel. “You could use a quick trim to help those curls.”

“Help the curls?”

“Or help your heart, whichever you prefer,” Rhiannon suggested softly, reaching for the water bottle to layer Howie’s curls in a wet film for easier cutting.

“Did Savvy show you the ‘I’m sorry’ gift from J?”

“The Sorry game with all those sweet notes?”

“Yeah…” Howie trailed, jealous of the coo Rhiannon gave toward the mere mentioning of the gift. It was obvious that both girls were enchanted with AJ after his romantic gesture. More importantly, Howie’s romantic gesture. And, Howie couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to confess to someone. A somewhat neutral party. Rhiannon. “I gave him the idea for that.”

Rhiannon brushed away the trimmings from Howie’s shoulders, stopping when she realized the confession Howie made. She turned him away from the mirror to meet his smoldering gaze. In that instant, Rhiannon’s mind was overcome with a tidal wave of information. She suddenly realized why Howie had been so troubled over the passing months. Why he cringed any time anyone suggested the relationship between Savannah and AJ. Because Howie loved her first and put himself into an undoubtedly awkward situation. “Why did you do that?”

“He told me he loved her, Rhi,” Howie sighed, “How can I compete with that?”

*~*~*

Rhiannon stepped inside the sweetly cool condo with an anxious flitter in her step. After speaking with Howie at the salon, Rhiannon was absolutely aching to find her best friend. He had been so jaded that afternoon and Rhiannon felt somewhat helpless. Howie hadn’t said it in so many words, but it was obvious that he cared deeply for Savannah. A care in his golden heart that went far deeper than any friendship that Savannah spoke of. Yet, he was afraid to reveal his true feelings after AJ spoke to him about seeing Savannah. Howie believed he couldn’t compete with AJ for Savannah’s heart, which seemed to fall into an understanding that he believed he couldn’t ruin his friend with AJ nor was he good enough to win Savannah from AJ. He seemed to believe that AJ had far better qualities, but Rhiannon took an understanding that maybe Howie feared Savannah wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings. It was a twisted love circle, but what made it somewhat more amusing to Rhiannon was the fact that her gorgeous blonde friend was completely oblivious to any details.

So, Rhiannon was somewhat relieved to find Savannah dozing alone on the couch. Her right leg wrapped in a delicate sleeve to reduce swelling as several layered ice packs were propped from her thigh to her ankle. Since the accident, Savannah had refused to show anyone, except Howie, the extent of the damage ranging across her battered leg. After being able to remove the immobilizer, she constantly kept the sleeve and ace bandages wrapped to shield the damage. But, that thought was furthest from Rhiannon’s mind as she noted the bad leg propped straight on the couch while the rest of Savannah’s body was contorted into various positions. She actually looked to be resting peacefully for once, making Rhiannon feel guilty for wanting to rouse her.

But she didn’t have to, because Savannah seemed to sense her presence. Slowly, she blinked to clear the sleepiness from her beautiful emerald eyes, glancing up at her friend leaning on the back of the couch. “How was work?”

“Interesting to say the least,” Rhiannon mused, smiling. “But how are you?”

“I’m okay…”

Rhiannon resisted the urge to frown, knowing that phrase had about a hundred different meanings when it came to Savannah. She hated to have anyone worrying about her, so she feigned perfection. It was a nasty habit, but Rhiannon had learned to maneuver around it. Somehow. So, gingerly, she sat herself on the couch as Savannah forced herself into a seated position. “Howie stopped by the salon today. He said you went to see AJ.”

“Yeah…” Savannah trailed with a silly smile that Rhiannon had never seen before. “He’s coming by later to pick me up.”

“You’re going out again?”

“Yeah, I think it’s better than staying home, otherwise I’d have to invest in some cases of duct tape.”

“That’s great, Sweetheart,” Rhiannon chuckled, chewing on her bottom lip in a soft contemplation. The entire day at the salon, Rhiannon had been thinking about the choice Savannah could possibly have to make before Howie sent himself into a deep depression. It was baffling to figure which man was better for her. If anything, with Savannah’s wild streaks of impishness and playfulness, Rhiannon would naturally lean to assuming AJ would make the perfect match. But then there was that unique quality of Savannah’s golden heart. She was so pure with a unique innocence and loving, making her further suited for Howie. It was baffling to say the least, but Savannah didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

“Yeah, I think I might love him—”

“Honey! I’m home!” Kevin called loudly with an interrupt, sauntering into the girls’ living room bearing an abundance of gifts. Leaning down, he kissed Rhiannon softly with a handsome smile. When Rhiannon giggled, he offered a thick bouquet of red roses, causing her heart to flutter. Red roses were Rhiannon’s absolute favorite flower.

“I’m very glad you’re home,” Rhiannon breathed with delight, bringing him back down for a lovely kiss. “And thank you.”

“You deserve the best, Rhi,” Kevin stated as Savannah snorted, causing him to arch his thick black brows in question.

“Do you remember what an asshole he was a few months ago? It’s just a complete three-sixty that I find hilarious,” Savannah attempted to explain, but she elicited no smiles from her friends. Pouting slightly, she batted her long, light brows. “I’m sorry?”

“Good thing, because I brought you this,” Kevin explained, pulling out a long rectangular sheet of blue plastic. Rhiannon immediately furled her brows in question as Savannah’s emerald eyes seemed to dance with relief. “I got this when I snapped my ACL and had to have it repaired. This ice pack is probably the best of the best. And, it’s long enough that you don’t have to strap twenty of them to that leg of yours.”

“How romantic,” Savannah breathed with delight, reaching to take the already icy item that Kevin had obviously frozen before coming. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Savvy,” Kevin laughed, pressing a quick kiss to the side of her face before seating himself to wrap his arms around Rhiannon. “And I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Rhiannon was quick to agree, running her hand against his chest. She had already moved to place the roses in the elegant vase on their kitchen table. She thought they looked absolutely gorgeous with the light yellow tones of their kitchen. Of course, anything Kevin gave her would have been beautiful anywhere in the house.

“I brought good news though.”

“You had a vasectomy?” Savannah quipped. “Because you two populating would be—”

“Savannah Grace!” Rhiannon growled.

“I love you,” Savannah repeated, a smirk growing on her face as she quieted.

“The guys and I were talking about our tour—”

“You leaving is good news?” Rhiannon instantly frowned, the first since she had Kevin had committed to one another. She knew that they were working furious to launch their Never Gone Tour before the accident, but never realized that they’d continue once the girls were healed.

“Not in a million years, because I would miss you too much,” Kevin quickly explained, refusing to let her believe for a moment that he was disappearing. He brought her closer to his body, gently kissing her forehead. “I want you to come on tour with me. Technically, we need another stylist on staff to help with costume changes, but I just want my good luck charm near. So, it’s technically win-win situation for me.”

“Really?” Rhiannon breathed in disbelief.

“Is that a yes?”

“Oh my God, yes!” Rhiannon squealed, tackling him with excited kisses.

And, Savannah’s heart dramatically fell into the pit of her stomach as she watched the two fall into a romantic stir of lust over the news. It was already apparent that Savannah wouldn’t be joining them on the tour. And, not only would she be missing out on one of her biggest opportunities, but she would also be left behind by her best friend and lover. It killed her to know that another dancer had taken her place - a dancer that could never compare to her past dancing ability. But that was insignificant. After all, her doctor had given her a grim reality at the last appointment. He stated that when they started physical therapy that she shouldn’t be too hopeful of regaining her previous capacities. She might have a severe limp even with strenuous rehabilitation, maybe even need an assistive device to help her walk. But, they would do their best to help her into peak physical condition. No promises. But she didn’t reveal these likelihoods or secrets to anyone, however, fearing the worst as a bitter depression over never being able to dance seeped into her heart.

*~*~*

“Didn’t we already try the romantic beach date, J?” Savannah questioned softly as she wrapped her arms tightly around AJ’s neck, feeling his feet shift somewhat unstably on the cooling beach sand. After being depressed by Kevin’s news, Savannah hoped that AJ might be able to cheer her up. She did her best to push the tour from her mind, focusing her intention on the rapid beat of AJ’s heart against her own body. He had insisted on carrying her to their romantic setting and was extremely cautious about not hurting her leg. He seemed to be putting forth an abundant amount of effort to prove himself. But, for that moment, Savannah considered what happened in the past insignificant. Especially compared to her other woes. And, deep within her aching heart, Savannah hoped that he could make her pain cease.

“Savvs, haven’t you heard that second time’s a charm?” AJ retorted with a grin, gently easing her down onto the soft flannel blanket. He had taken the time to plan this romantic adventure after some coaxing from Howie. He nestled vanilla scent candles around the blanket, brought a CD player to play her favorite romantic country songs, and an extra tidbit that Howie forgot to mention. So, taking charge, he grasped the pillow he had brought and helped nestle it underneath her pained leg. Then, he leaned back on the blanket to snuggle close with her underneath the faint light of the moon and stars. She looked absolutely gorgeous in the light, not that she ever looked terrible in any type of lighting. But the moon’s soft glow seemed to enhance the pureness of her heart and soul, causing AJ’s heart to accelerate with several flutters.

“Yes…” she mused with a laugh, reaching to brush her fingers down his shaved head, enjoying the feel.

“Good, because if that didn’t work, I was going to argue and say that this is a romantic moonlit beach date!”

“You’re something else, JJ.”

“Does that mean I’m completely forgiven?”

“What do you think?”

“Well…” AJ trailed deciding to take his chances. It seemed impossible to stay close to her body without reaching to touch, hold, and caress her. The passion flowing from his body was unimaginable, but he knew he had to maintain his needs. He would allow her to follow through with her own wants. If she decided to press forward, then he would oblige. But, he needed her and couldn’t live without her. So, leaning, AJ cupped her face and gently started to work his kisses against her soft lips.

“Mmm…”

“Mmm?” AJ grinned.

“Never said you weren’t a great kisser,” Savannah tempted, leaning for another kiss in hopes to forget her pain.

“Wait!” AJ quickly interrupted, reaching into the backpack he brought. He rummaged through the various materials, finally retrieving the item of what he considered great importance.

“Should we have gone to a more public place?” Savannah quickly questioned, arching her light brows when she eyed the duct tape AJ had revealed.

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Should I trust you?”

“I think that’s why I brought the duct tape…”

“What the Hell are you talking about?”

“I figured we could duct tape my hands so I don’t get too eager when we do whatever you want to do. That way you’re in total control and—”

“You’re such an asshole,” Savannah laughed with amusement, bringing him close for a fiery kiss that would keep them warm throughout the nigh

Chapter 22 - Hidden Disappointments

Savannah let out a long, sad sigh as Howie helped her out of her bathtub. He wrapped his arm tightly around her waist to keep a firm grip on her while she got up, picking her up completely to carry her in to the bedroom so she could dress. She was used to him seeing her in the nude now, and no longer felt it necessary for her to blush as a result of it. It was natural to her now, and she knew by the way he’d never once tried to take advantage of her that she could trust him completely.

“How’re you feeling today?” Howie asked kindly as he set her down softly on her bed. He could sense a certain distress about her that day, and as a result felt a deep concern lifting within him for her, “Is there something wrong?”

Savannah looked up and her eyes gave it all away. All that had been on her mind ever since her doctor’s appointment was his dark words chilling her right down to the core of her bone. She would never dance again. It was pretty much impossible. She may never even be able to walk again without assistance. No matter what, she’d have a slight limp, and that would be getting out lucky. The words kept echoing throughout her brain, disturbing her and brining her intense sadness that she was trying with all of her might to hide.
Every time these thoughts game up, she remembered why she was in the condition that she was. It was because of five men who were now five of her best friends, and one of which was her boyfriend. She sometimes wondered if she were crazy for breaking her hard shell and letting herself become close with the people who had hurt her. Shouldn’t she be furious that they’d taken away the one gift she had that had made her unique and that she loved more than anything. Sure, she had other talents, but her dancing was what had made her stand out other than her personality. The Boys were kind and sincere though, honestly wanting to help in any way that they could. So despite everything, Savannah simply couldn’t be angry with them, even if in her mind, it still was their fault…

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Savannah lied, refusing to tell even Howie the absolute truth, “I’m just a little tired.” she gave a small smile hoping that she was convincing him.

Howie eyed her suspiciously, not buying it as well as she’d hoped for. He didn’t argue though. Savannah was the type who didn’t want to let people in on her problems, feeling she would be burdening them. When she wanted to talk, she would on her own time. Pushing it would only make her clam up and keep things in even longer, possibly forever. He wanted her to talk to him though. Especially since he couldn’t have her in the special way that he had been dreaming of for so long.

There were a couple of moments of uncomfortable silence as Savannah dressed herself in to the clothes that were in a neat stack next to her. She just kept thinking of everything that was happening lately. What was going to happen to her? She was afraid to know, however wished she could look in to the future so that she could be better prepared for whatever it was. At least then, there would be no more unexpected turns or surprises.

“So, I guess you’ll be leaving on tour now soon, huh?” Savannah finally asked once she had her attire on, smoothing down her shirt. It was the only topic of conversation she could think up at the moment.

“Yeah,” Howie smiled, “We’ve been working hard...I can’t believe we’re about to go back. It’s exciting.”

“Yeah,” Savanna replied, smiling weakly, “It sure is.”

She should have been out there with them dancing. This should have been the most exciting time of her life, taking a step forward in her career. The huge step, able to show off her talents with a reputable group. Now, that wouldn’t happen. Savannah growled inwardly at herself, telling herself to stop this torture. Nothing could take back the past, no matter how much she wished for it. What was done was done.

“I um, I was wanting to ask you about that,” Howie said softly, suddenly turning a little shy on her, “About the tour that is,” he paused as he saw Savannah looking at him expectantly. He paused before taking a deep breath, continuing on, “What do you think about coming on tour with us?”

Savannah froze upon hearing his request. Hadn’t this been what she wanted? Rhiannon had jumped at the chance of going with Kevin, not even thinking about what would happen to her. Savannah knew that she shouldn’t hold that against the excited, love-struck girl though. Kevin was amazing and treated her like gold, Her friend deserved that after her past failure relationship with complete idiots. Savannah wanted to go too, so why wasn’t she more excited or also taking advantage of the invitation?

“I...I don’t know,” Savannah replied, her face scrunched up in to a look of adorable confusion, “I...I don’t know what I think about it.”

Howie could tell that she wanted to, but there was something deeper than what she was saying. There was one little thing holding her back from giving in to what she wanted. He really wanted her to go with them though. He wanted to be able to see the girl every day, knowing that she was alright and able to look at her and take care of her. He didn’t want anything to change. Even though they would be on the road, nothing had to if she would just give in.

“What is it?” he finally asked, “You can tell me.” He sat down next to her, taking one of her hands in to his, hoping the gesture would help her to open up. And God, how he loved the feeling. If only he could intertwine his fingers with her own, holding her hand the way that AJ was able to.

Savannah let out a dramatic sigh. How could she explain her hesitation? There were many reasons, however there was one main thing. One thing that worried her more than anything else. It went without saying that it would hurt her pride, or to term things better, make her feel extremely guilty.

“It’s not that I don’t want to go,” she finally admitted, looking deep in to his gorgeous chocolate eyes, “I do more than anything...” she laughed bitterly, “Trust me, I do. But the fact of the matter is, how will I get around? I can’t walk....I can’t put any pressure on my leg at all still. Who knows when I will.”

“I’ll get you one of those wheelchairs so you can prop your leg up,” Howie eagerly offered, “That way, you’re comfortable and you’re following doctors orders...and you’re there, part of the action...watching and all.” Howie knew he was rambling, but he was desperate to get Savannah there. He knew that it was wrong of him to be so smitten with his best friend in the whole world’s girlfriend. It was very wrong and went against all of the rules of true friendship. Especially when that friend was crazy about the girl. He didn’t care though. He was determined to get the girl to go with them, “Everything will work out great. I can still be your special nurse, you’ll have Rhiannon and...your boyf...AJ...” he finally managed to get out, unable to say the complete word ‘boyfriend’

“That’s a lovely thought,” Savannah smiled in appreciation to his kind offer, “But you’re going to have so much work ahead of you. You’re going to be extremely busy. None of you will have time to even think about me or my needs. Everybody will be so caught up in the excitement of touring again and your own thing...” her voice trailed off as she gave her friend a sad smile, “It just...wouldn’t work out. It would be best for everybody if I stayed here.”

Howie stared at her in bewilderment. She didn’t know where the look was coming from or even why. She’d just proved many valid points. Many points that she knew her friend should take in to consideration. Then there was the big thing. The huge disappointment that she could never let on to Howie about. She was afraid it would hurt him and didn’t want to cause the sensitive man any kind of pain. She couldn’t tell if she’d done that or not anyways though by the look he was still giving her.

“Savvy,” he finally said softly, “I know you think you’d be in the way...so don’t even deny those thoughts running through your head. I want you there and I will have time for you. Everybody will. It will be fine. You’ll have a great time. I promise you that. Please, just agree to go. If nothing else, I want you there.”

Savannah sighed. True, she did feel she’d be in the way. The comment that sunk in the most though was Howie saying, “If nothing else, I want you there.” What if nobody else did want her around? Would she be a nuisance to them? She didn’t know, but looking in to Howie’s eyes again, seeing the pathetic, sweet puppy dog look on his face, she knew what her answer would be.

“Okay,” Savannah agreed, “I’ll go with you guys.”

“Great!” Howie enthused, a wide smile forming on his sweet lips, “You won’t regret this, Savvy! I’ll make sure of it.”

Savannah smiled, although it was forced. True, she was glad to be going with everybody, but it didn’t stop the sadness within her from staying present. Going with them was what she’d wanted to do all along, but the way it was happening wasn’t.

*~*~*

“...And then he led me to his room, which was candle lit with vanilla scent candles and entirely scattered with rose pedals,” Rhiannon gushed, the smile on her face huge, “I mean, pink, red, peach, white, yellow...just, thousands of rose pedals scattered everywhere. The floor, the bed, the dresser, atop the TV, the nights stand. It was the most beautiful thing ever,” she closed her eyes and breathed in a dreamy sigh, letting it out lightly, “And he...he surprised me with this.” she pulled a small pendant out of her shirt, letting it fall over her clothing. It had the daintiest silver chain, so thin the slightest tug would break it. The pendant was a small heart with tiny diamonds outlining the bottom right side. In the center was a diamond in the prettiest shade of blue Rhiannon had ever seen, cut in to the shape of a heart. Savannah had to admit it was gorgeous, “It was the most romantic night ever.”

It was a week later. A week since Rhiannon had been asked to accompany Kevin on the tour and be his ‘good luck charm’ as he’d called it. They’d been pretty much inseparable since then. In fact, they’d been inseparable since they’d started dating, but it had only gotten worse. The night before was the one in which Rhiannon was explaining to Savannah. They hadn’t spent any girl-on-girl time lately at all. In fact, Savannah couldn’t even remember the last time they’d actually spent a day alone together just doing their girl stuff.

“He sounds like a keeper,” Savannah stated half-heartedly, but tried to sound happy, “He definitely turned out to be a great guy.”

“Yes, he did,” Rhiannon replied, “He’s my perfect match.”

Savannah rolled her eyes. How many times had she heard this before? But by looking at her best friends face, she could see that something was different this time. Kevin had gotten to Rhiannon’s heart like no man ever had before in all her life. She found it to be incredibly sweet and was happy for Rhiannon. She knew that this time, she wouldn’t have to warn Rhiannon to protect herself from getting emotionally hurt again. Kevin was there to stay. That much she was sure of.

“So, did you guys...do it?” Savannah asked.

“SAVVY!” Rhiannon squealed, blushing slightly, “Really now.”

"Well, did you?”

“No, not yet...” Rhiannon hesitated, looking to Savannah with a confession to make, “Although, I really think that we’re going to, you know, soon...” her voice trailed off, “I think I’m ready to take things to the next step.”

“Kevin hasn’t been pressuring you, has he?” Savannah asked, becoming protective of her friend suddenly, “He isn’t guilting you in to having these feelings, is he?”

“Oh god no,” Rhiannon stated, “Not at all...he’s never pressured. He’s asked what I thought of the idea...but it never went beyond that. He told me he respected me and that when I’m ready, making the move is up to me.”

Savannah smiled a little, but was slightly jealous. AJ either tried to get beneath her clothing without asking, just assuming. Or worse yet, duck taped himself so he couldn’t, trying to make light of what was a serious matter. She loved AJ with all of her heart, but wished that he could value her wishes as much as Kevin did Rhiannon’s. Then again, Savannah had been fully aware of what AJ was like going in to the relationship. It had been a risk she had been willing to take, so she knew she shouldn’t compare.

“That’s great,” Savannah said meekly, “That’s very noble of him.”
Rhiannon raised an eyebrow at Savannah’s lack of enthusiasm. It was as if for the first time she was noticing the girls somber attitude, too wrapped up in her own love life to observe something wasn’t quite right. She had now though suddenly, a worried frown taking over her big smile and bright eyes.

‘What’s wrong?” she finally asked softly.

Savannah shrugged, “I don’t know,” she forced another smile. She’d been doing that a lot lately, “Howie asked me to go on tour with everyone.”

“What did you say?” Rhiannon asked.

“I told him yes.” Savannah sighed.

Rhiannon looked at her friend in complete confusion now. Her friend’s behavior was completely strange lately. Her usual upbeat, quirky personality had been absent for some time now, and Rhiannon was slightly worried. She hoped that the Savannah she’d been best friends with for nearly half her life came back.

“You don’t sound too happy about that.”

“I am,” Savannah replied a little bit too quickly to come off as convincing, “It’s great...its just...I was hoping that AJ would ask me.” she sighed, forcing a smile to try and play it off as no big deal.

The truth was, the fact that AJ hadn’t asked her first was the main thing bothering her. He was her boyfriend, after all, and Howie had beaten him to the big question. Howie had asked her three days after Kevin asked Rhiannon. She’d gone out with her boyfriend that same exact night. He’d had plenty of time to ask, letting it be known that he wanted her there with him. Was she just some fling to pass time until he was gone again for months on end? Savannah didn’t know. She just felt certain sadness at heart that the person she’d long to ask still hadn’t thought to do so. That hurt more than she’d ever admit.

“Savvy,” Rhiannon sighed, “I’m sorry he didn’t ask you, but you were invited. Shouldn’t that be all that matters?”

Savannah shrugged, “I guess so. I just wonder if his feelings for me have changed...like, he is having second thoughts about me.”

“That man is insane for you,” Rhiannon laughed, hoping she was reassuring her friend. Normally, paranoia was her own best virtue, “He loves you more than you know, girl. Trust me. He’s a man...he probably just didn’t think about it since the tour is still a ways off. He probably figured he’d wait until the last minute, like a typical man.”

“I guess,” Savannah replied, “It doesn’t help though that my best guy friend begged me to go....practically got on his knees crying for me to agree to join everybody, but my own boyfriend hasn’t even mentioned it.”

Rhiannon smiled, sensing that Savannah didn’t want to talk any more about the subject. She kind of didn’t blame her, deciding not to press the issue. Instead, she changed the subject to one of a more positive note, telling her friend all about one of her customers from that morning who’d caused major problems, actually getting a genuine smile out of Savannah.

*~*~*

“I can’t believe the tour is just around the corner...” Howie stated, “All we have left are recitals and some management meetings and business and then we’re off on the road again.”

Kevin smiled, unable to believe it as well as he and Howie sat in Howie’s home, just talking about the upcoming events. He would have liked for the others to be there, but Brian and Nick were off at a basketball game and AJ was on a date with Savannah. Rhiannon was working, so he couldn’t exactly see her at the moment. None the less though, it was all unreal. Sure, the recent events had set them back slightly, but not significant enough as to put a damper on their original plans. It just meant they had to work a few extra hours each day to catch up. None of them had any problems with it.

“I have a feeling that this will be the best tour yet,” Kevin stated simply, attempting with all his might to wipe the grin off of his face.

“Yeah, cuz you have your little woman going with you,” Howie replied, seeing right past the sorry effort, “How can anything go wrong when for the first time in years, you have a woman that drives you crazy?”

Kevin didn’t know how to reply. The meeting up wasn’t going nearly how he’d originally envisioned. In fact, his original plan had been to not talk about the girls at all. Just strictly talk business and then catch up on everything in everybody’s lives that had been missed. Here it was though, only twenty minutes later, and Rhiannon was the topic of conversation, or rather his relationship with her.

“Well, you have Savannah there.” Kevin reminded him, a knowing smirk on his tanned face.

Of all people, Kevin and Rhiannon were the only two who really knew how Howie felt about the other girl. The others had small intuitions, but didn’t think enough about it or read in to it enough to see the true deep meaning. Kevin took the time to look for it though and Howie had told Rhiannon flat out his feelings. None of it had done any good though. He still didn’t have the nerve to confront the woman with how he felt. It was mostly because she was happily content with how things were and he didn’t want to mess with fate or how God had decided to make things happen. He and Savannah just weren’t in the cards obviously.

“True, but not in the way I want,” Howie admitted, “I asked her so I could be with her still, and nothing would change...but I want things to change. I want her as my girlfriend. I could treat her so much better than AJ.”

Howie felt guilty saying this about his best friend, but it was true. He could give her all that AJ was plus so much more. He could adore her, respect her, give her piece of mind that he could be trusted. He could give her everything in the world, and if given the chance, he would. He honest to God would go to the moon and back for her if she asked that of him.

“I have no doubt in my mind that you could,” Kevin sighed, “I know that you could treat her better...you just have to wait for her to realize that on her own though.”

“But I don’t want her to get hurt,” Howie said pitifully, “I want to protect her from getting hurt. Especially since I know it is going to happen at some point.”

Kevin didn’t know what to say. Savannah was a big girl and would have to learn herself. He hated to be like that, but it was true. He could see the sparkle in Savannah’s eyes around AJ and when his name was mentioned.

He had no doubt in his mind that their relationship to this point was pure and great. AJ could only stay patient for so long though. He knew that the mans intentions were good, however he’d known him for twelve years. He knew what he was like and what he could do and couldn’t do.

“Rhiannon is one lucky girl though,” Howie said, “You take care of her, are constantly romancing her. Show her affection left and right...so much that it is nauseating sometimes. You’re patient with her. You have the perfect relationship. You’re a poster couple for what relationships should be like.”

“I do all of it for her because I want to. She's everything to me. I love her, D...plain and simple,” Kevin replied with a grin, “You of all people should understand that feeling.”

Unfortunately, Howie did.

Chapter 23 – Man to Man

“Hey, Darling! Where’s your kid?” Kevin questioned with a bright smile, sauntering into the girls’ condo with a flush of adrenaline. He always became quite excited when visiting Rhiannon and couldn’t wait to jump onto the couch and bring her into his arms. Leaning over the back of the couch, he smacked a warm kiss onto Rhiannon’s slightly flushed cheek. He then laid a sweet bouquet of bright peach roses into her lap, deciding that every day that he saw her, he would deliver a gift. It wasn’t that he wanted to prove his wealth, but more so because he loved her dearly and wanted her to have the best of everything. And to see that bright smile on her face because of him did wonders for his previously bruised heart. She gave him hope for a romantic future, not one just filled with simple pleasures of fame and fortune.

“My kid?” Rhiannon questioned in surprise, holding up the roses to inhale softly. She then leaned over the side of the couch to the end table, placing the flowers delicately in an expensive vase handed down through her generations of family. She then quickly straightened to deliver Kevin another thankful kiss, absolutely adoring the flowers.

“Yeah, y’know, the one you’re watching on the boob tube right now,” Kevin attempted to clarify, motioning toward the girls’ new flat screen television.

“Oh! She’s out with Howie,” Rhiannon answered, glancing back to the television as Kevin wrapped his arms around her waist. Sure enough, Rhiannon had been viewing a few of Savannah’s latest dance videos. The one currently showed was Mariah Carey’s ‘It’s Like That,’ which had been her last video before the accident. And, it had most definitely been Rhiannon’s favorite video shoot out of them all. Working with such a talent like Mariah Carey, knowing that she had created her beautiful looks for each shot was an amazing boost in her pride. Not to mention the fact that Mariah Carey still kept in touch with the girls, considering Savannah to be one of the absolute best. She had even sent a beautiful gift basket when she learned of the accident, making her a strong advocate in Savannah’s struggle to get back into the music business. That was, if Savannah ever wanted to get back into the music business…

“With Howie?” Kevin questioned, making sure he heard right. It was uncomfortable to say the least whenever anyone discussed the oblivious love triangle brewing between AJ, Howie, and Savannah. And, since AJ and Howie were two of Kevin’s best friends, it made it nearly impossible to take a side without causing pain.

“Yeah, AJ went to some debut for a new dance club. He invited Savvy along, but she didn’t have the heart to go. And I can’t blame her. She would have had to sit in a little corner all night, nursing a soda while AJ had all the fun on the dance floor. So, she declined and told him to just have a lot of fun. He bounced out of the house like it was no big deal and didn’t even seem to notice her... Well, anyway, Howie swooped right in and invited her to a movie… That seemed to cheer her up…”

“Howie has a good way of doing that—”

“It’ll be more like a pseudo-happiness… ”

“Huh?”

“I know that AJ is crazy about her… But damnit, he’s so insensitive to what she needs.”

“Rhi, Darling—”

“I’m scared,” she quickly admitted, not being able hide away her flood of emotions as easily as Savannah could. She leaned into Kevin, burying her face softly into the crook of his neck. “Savvy isn’t what she used to be. She’s extremely depressed and I can’t do anything about it. She says she’s fine, but she’s falling apart on the inside. She has these fake smiles that she gives, like someone ran over her kitten… Do you know that she doesn’t even listen to music anymore? A girl that couldn’t live a day without music refuses to even glance at her CD player. She’s in so much pain, physically and mentally… I’m afraid she’s going to do something stupid…”

“Something stupid? Like what?”

“I don’t want to jinx myself, because there’s no way that I can live without her,” Rhiannon gasped softly, refusing to even utter the word ‘suicide’ for fear that Savannah might muster the gall to do so.

“I’m sorry that you’re so scared for her, but what does AJ have to do with that?”

“He’s making it worse!”

“What–”

“First he tries to force her into sex, accidentally or willingly, I’m not sure. Then he doesn’t even ask her to go on tour with him—”

“Rhia, wait—”

“And Howie is the one that puts the pieces back together. He gives AJ the brilliant idea to get back into Savvy’s heart after the sex mishap. He invites her on tour with him, saying that he needs her there. And now he’s there to salvage her broken ego when AJ insists on going to a dance club knowing very well that Savvy isn’t anywhere near being able to dance again! It’s—”

“A conversation that I really don’t want to get into,” Kevin gently finished, reaching to just rub her shoulders. “Howie and AJ are both my best friends, Rhia. Them both having feelings for the same woman is extremely dangerous. I mean, it’s happened in the group before, but that was with AJ and Nick. They had a fist-fight over the woman, drew some blood, and then decided just to let it go. But Howie’s a lot more sentimental than Nick… He really believes he loves Savannah. And, Savannah is actually doing something good for AJ. Do you know he quit smoking because Savannah gets sick from the smell? I just, I can’t root for one or the other. I can only hope that Howie never comes out with his true feelings, otherwise there will be Hell to pay. And, if Savvy is oblivious to his feelings anyway, why push it?”

“Because I just want what’s best for her…” Rhiannon trailed softly, feeling just as conflicted with the situation as her lover.

*~*~*

AJ whistled happily to himself as shut the door to his newly bought range rover, depressing the button on his keyless entry and shoving the keys deep into his baggy, black jeans. He had spent a wild night at the newly opened dance club, enjoying the thrills of fresh scene and change of faces. Only, with every beautiful girl that came slinking into his small area of personal space, the more he longed for Savannah. No woman had competed with her beauty and she seemed to outshine the others. Many offers were made to make him a ‘lucky man,’ but surprisingly, he had declined that evening. But, declining the flings had made him far more passionate to find Savannah for attention. So, stopping by his home for a quick shower to cleanse away any remnants of other women, he practically danced up the steps toward the condo, anxious to find his adoring girlfriend ready to be whisked away into eternity with him.

“AJ!”

Frowning at the intrusion into his thoughts, AJ turned slightly to catch Rhiannon a few feet behind him. He naturally arched his dark brows in question, allowing the woman to catch up to him just near the threshold of the front door. He was anxious to get inside, but offered a smile to Rhiannon nonetheless. “How was work?”

“I have enough hair on my clothes to cover the world’s obsession with receding hairlines,” Rhiannon laughed, glancing up toward AJ. She didn’t know exactly why she called out to him. Maybe it was because Howie was inside with Savannah, having spent the night to keep her happy. Or maybe it was to call attention to his faults. She wasn’t exactly sure, but found herself fighting with every possible scenario as she struggled not to save AJ from another horrendous mess.

“Sounds like you’ll make some good money,” AJ chuckled, reaching to brush away a few curls that rested on her shoulder.

“Yeah, how was the club last night?”

“Absolutely fantastic! The scene was hot. The music was hot. The girls were hot—”

“AJ,” Rhiannon interrupted. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“No, that’s why I stopped by without taking a nap. I wasn’t doing anything stupid with those girls, Ann,” AJ defended, instantly frowning with slight annoyance. Why did everyone expect him to do the obvious? He had turned away temptation like a prince, because he loved Savannah and couldn’t imagine hurting her with such disrespect. He had previously pledged to be a perfect boyfriend to her and that’s what he intended to do. That is, if everyone would stop harping on him. “Don’t you have any faith in me?”

“Actually…” Rhiannon trailed with a pitiful sigh. AJ shouldn’t expect Howie and Rhiannon to save him each time he screwed up with Savannah, but Rhiannon couldn’t handle seeing Savannah so miserable on his part. Savannah was placing her heart on the line for this man, allowing herself to become vulnerable in the chance of finding completely and total happiness. But, the way AJ was moving, Rhiannon honestly feared the consequences of Savannah’s vulnerability and depression.

“Rhiannon?” AJ questioned, feeling his stomach start to tighten in knots at her silence. He didn’t like the mournful gaze she was giving him that tinged with disgust around the speckles of green in light brown eyes. Immediately, almost like a trained dog, he knew he was in trouble. “What’d I do now?”

“You can’t expect us to always bail you out from Savvy’s wrath—”

“Rhiannon, what did I do now?”

“Howie invited her on tour because you conveniently forgot.”

“I—”

“Did you just expect her to stay home while you had a great time out on tour? Is it your way of breaking away from a new serious relationship. Some free play on tour because technically you’re in a different state and it isn’t considered cheating then? Some stupid guy’s rule about having the best of both worlds. Because that’s really disgusting—”

“Never in a million years would I hurt Savvs like that! I love her!”

“Then if you don’t like her, fine. But don’t play with her heart and keep on breaking it. She really likes you and is putting her heart out on the line. She’s never really had someone take such a deep interest in her that she wanted to reciprocate. And, having her best friend invite her on tour instead of her boyfriend was a lousy blow. Not to mention your little escapade into the club. You’re lucky Howie spent the night to—”

“He spent the night in her bed again?” AJ interrupted with a dark growl of jealousy. He hated the fact that Savannah practically begged Howie to cuddle next to her in bed while her own boyfriend was practically kicked out every night to ensure her virginity’s safety. It drove him insane to know that Howie was nestled comfortable with Savannah beneath the covers, curled in what most would consider a romantic embrace.

“Because you couldn’t be bothered with the fact that Savannah can’t dance let alone go to a club and watch you grind against other nasty women—”

“Damnit, Rhiannon—”

“I’m asking you to make a choice. Your old life or Savannah. Because Savannah isn’t like those other girls that you loved to date. She’s not a dime a dozen that’s willing to corrupt her morals so you can have a good time with her body. She has a golden heart and can show you a paradise you’ll never want to leave. But, if you break her heart, you’ll end up taking away something so special that God wouldn’t have the heart to create again for this abusive world.”

*~*~*

“Howie, it’s official, you absolutely spoil me rotten,” Savannah sighed dramatically as she forced Howie to sit on the couch after bringing her the necessary items needed for her lounging. Mostly the items needed were her long ice pack, pain medication, pillows, the proper remote controls, and an icy Pepsi. And, once he was comfortable, Savannah naturally made herself comfortable against him. Leaning back against his chest, she allowed him to loops his arms around her waist as he plotted an affectionate kiss against her cheek. She felt her cheeks slightly flush from the kiss, but neither said anything. It was a strictly platonic love that they expressed toward one another. Especially when he rescued her from a lonely hell when AJ insisted he was leaving to attend a club opening. He had come like a knight in shining armor to save her heart from being broken by her boyfriend. Howie always seemed to anticipate her wants and needs, making her extremely grateful for his company when she was feeling the lowest the past few days.

“You think this is spoiling you rotten?” Howie actually laughed, patting her stomach with his hands. It amazed him how perfectly she always seemed to nestle into his embrace, especially when they fell asleep after watching movies upstairs the previous night. For being so hard and callous when they had first met, it was surprising to find that she was actually quite affectionate and cuddly. When she cared for someone, she made sure to express it not only emotionally, but physically as well. Only, her touches represented a kinship where Howie did everything he could not to make his sensual. “Sweetheart, you have no idea what I have planned for you when we get on tour.”

“Huh?”

“The guys aren’t even really thinking about getting started on tour, well, except Kevin. But, I’ve been making calls and perfecting everything so this will be an absolutely wonderful vacation for you.”

“Howie—”

“I don’t want to hear any disagreements!” Howie instantly chided with a warm smile. “I rigged my tour bus to make sure it has two king sized beds and a full fridge stocked with Pepsi. Not to mention that I’ll have all the equipment you need for your leg. And, when we go to the concerts, if you feel like going, we’ll have a special box up in the top of each concert for you to rest while you watch. I have the best of the best wheelchairs being ordered along with a whole other mess of stuff. And, if you don’t want to come, that’s fine, because I’ll prop you up in bed with the best of room service at the hotels. Also, I talked with Fatima… She said that if you were willing, when you’re allowed to weight bear on that leg, she’d be pleased to work with you and a physical therapist to incorporate your dancing back into the therapy to make it easier for you. We both agreed that we couldn’t possibly let your talent go to waste while we’re on tour.”

Savannah blinked back a flush of warm tears, immediately glancing down at their hands wrapped around her abdomen. She couldn’t even muster the feelings swarming against her aching heart. Since the accident, she hadn’t the heart to actually listen to music. Yet, Howie was offering her the chance to go back, which seemed to smart worse. “Howie—”

“That’s strictly only if you want to,” Howie quickly reminded. “No pressure and we’ll never speak of it again unless you bring it up.”

“Okay, retraction! That will be spoiling me rotten!” Savannah groaned in awe, truly amazed at what he would do for her to ensure her happiness and safety.

“I spoil you rotten because I love you so much, Savvy,” Howie answered, making sure his voice was light and teasing so she wouldn’t suspect anything different. All his words seemed to fall into twisted contexts whenever he spoke to Savannah. He loved her so deeply, yet had no way of telling her such things. Especially when his best friend was continuing to pursue a permanent relationship with her. Howie didn’t want to cause trouble for Savannah. She didn’t need anymore heartache or chaos.

“I love you, too, Howie,” Savannah answered lightly, patting his hands that fit so perfectly around her waist. “You’re definitely the best of the best when it comes to friends... Well, except Annie, but that’s seniority and all that jazz that means she’s been here longer.”

“You’re something else,” Howie chuckled. “But, I appreciate your natural flare for flattery.”

“Thank you much! And, trust me, I can’t wait to spend all my time with you—”
“Savvs! Baby girl! I missed you!” AJ suddenly hollered, obviously overhearing the entire conversation. His blood boiled with animosity toward his best friend, doing his best to remind himself that Howie was no threat. But, it seemed impossible when he heard of the things Howie was willing to do for Savannah. Especially the mentioning of her in bed with him. It blew his mind to know that someone was stepping into uncharted territory with his girlfriend and had no qualms about squashing his friend quickly to assert his dominance.

“AJ, hey,” Savannah brightened, obviously not expecting to see him so soon. She squealed in a slight surprise when he hoisted her from Howie’s arms, helping her gently wrap her good leg around his waist and support her bad leg against his hip. Quickly, he brought her in for a stirring kiss that caused her heart to flutter with a course of heat racing down her spine. “What was that for?”

“Because I missed you so much,” AJ rasped, kissing just underneath her chin as he held her closer to his body. He glanced sideways for a moment, making sure that he held his best friend’s attention, too. He wanted everyone to know that Savannah was his. Loud and clear. “The dance club was just shitty without my beautiful girl on my arm.”

“Awe, AJ…” Savannah actually blushed furiously.

“And, I have an important question to ask you.”

“Oh? Isn’t a Vegas Wedding a little out of the question?” Savannah teased.

“True… But what about going on tour with me?”

“Tour with you?”

“I would be absolutely miserable if I couldn’t have you by my side for those long months of touring. No woman can compete with your charm and beauty. None of them can match you and wouldn’t be able to satisfy me like you can. And I get so lonely and I need someone to cuddle with when I get homesick. I need you.”

“But I thought that you wanted to get rid of me—”

“Damnit, Savvs, I love you.”

And, with that confession, a piece of Howie’s heart died.

Chapter 24 - Desperate Attempts With the Wrong Intentions

Rhiannon sighed in content happiness as she leaned in to Kevin, shivers going up her spine as his arms enveloped her. It was easy for her to say that it was getting harder and harder for her to not to tell Kevin she was ready for and give in to taking more intimate steps in their relationship. If Rhiannon really admitted the truth to herself though, she knew that she wasn’t ready quite yet, knowing that if she did give in so soon, she’d end up regretting it later on. By the feeling that was in her though, she knew that the right time was nearing quickly.

"You’re so wonderful to me," Rhiannon softly told him, repositioning herself so she could look in to his eyes. The green eyes that made her knees grow weak every time she saw them, "I don’t know what I did to ever deserve a guy like you."

Kevin chuckled, kissing her softly on the lips. He didn’t understand Rhiannon’s insecurities. She was always down on herself, feeling as if she was inadequate. She was always feeling that he was way too good for her. Whenever he gave her a compliment, she got all awkward, telling Kevin that she didn’t believe him. He thought that she was radiant though. She was gorgeous and perfect, making is life happier than he’d ever known it possible to be.

"I love you, that’s why." Kevin told her, his heart hammering in his chest as he told her this out loud for the first time. He wondered how she would react to it, but it was out in the open now.

"Wha..what did you say?" Rhiannon asked softly, pulling away to get a full profile view of her boyfriend. She had a somewhat startled look in her eyes, telling him that his confession had definitely been unexpected.

Kevin took in a deep breath, wondering what the meaning behind the reaction he got was. It wasn’t exactly what he would call positive. He was letting his deepest, strongest feelings out and Rhiannon was just staring at him blankly like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I um...ah, I said that…I love you, Rhiannon." Kevin repeated more nervously this time. He stared deep in to her brown eyes, hoping to get a response...any kind of response as opposed to the blank stare he was receiving at that very moment. He was beginning to feel sick, wondering if he shouldn’t have expressed his feelings quite so soon.

Rhiannon just stared for another moment, many thoughts running through her head. Had she heard him right? She didn’t want to risk making an idiot out of herself telling him she loved him too, if he’d said something entirely different. That would be humiliating. But by the hurt look in Kevin’s emerald eyes, Rhiannon had a feeling that he really had confessed those three romantic words, and she was ruining things.

"I...I love you too, Kevin," she finally said, and giggled when his eyes lit up like Christmas tree lights, "I’ve been wanting to tell you for awhile...but...I was afraid of how you would react..." her voice trailed off.

Kevin chuckled, "I know the feeling..." he smiled at her warmly, "You are without a doubt the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me, darlin."

"Likewise," Rhiannon said softly.

Without warning, a sharp pain suddenly shot through her head as soon as she said this, radiating around it in a circle. She whipped her head around quickly so Kevin wouldn’t see the fierce wince that set upon her face. He caught the pained expression though, gently taking her and turning her around again to look her in the eyes. A couple of tears had formed and he wondered if he had said something wrong. It didn’t make sense after they’d just shared somewhat of an intimate moment.

“Rhi, honey, are you okay?" he asked her, looking her in the eyes to try and read her expression.

Rhiannon started to nod, but then the pain shot through again, only more intense this time. Her breath caught in her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to make the pain go away. Nothing was working though as she let out a soft yet agonized moan. The headaches had been happening for around a week now, bad enough to make her wish she could die whenever they surfaced. Thankfully though, they hadn’t come around when she was with Kevin...until that moment.

"What is it?" Kevin asked, truly concerned over what was happening to his girlfriend, "Please, tell me?"

"Just a headache," she managed to wheeze out, opening her eyes once the shooting pain passed. All that was left was a throbbing ache, "I...it...it happens from time to time." Kevin looked her, the worried expression still not leaving as he ran his fingers through her dark curls, "I was told this would happen...because of the brain damage from the accident...it is one of the side effects. Just took a few months to catch up...but..." her voice trailed off, almost afraid to tell him that another side effect would be mood changes, which would probably start up soon. She didn’t want to lose him because he thought she was unstable, "I’m fine..." she gave him a small smile, knowing she wasn’t quite convincing him.

Kevin’s eyes still held anxiety as he drew her in to his arms, bringing her in close as he placed a delicate kiss on her forehead, leaving his lips there as he had flashbacks to many months before. They’re bitches who expect the world to end just because they got a couple of boo-boos. Cry me a river." Kevin closed his eyes, tightening his grip on this girl who meant so much to him, trying to block out his own tears, hating to see and know that she was in so much pain and had been before, and he’d shrugged it off. And now we have to pay because for it or else they’ll go crying to the press that the Backstreet Boys gave them headache and a broken leg. A few more tears formed as Kevin recalled his visit to Howie that day and the harsh, cold words he had spat out. How could he have been so heartless? How could he have honestly thought that Rhiannon’s only injury was a small headache? He could see now that it was so much more than that. So, so much more. It killed him to remember how much he’d tried to despise her and found it ironic that he’d fallen in love with her after everything he’d done in the beginning months.

"I am so sorry, Rhi," he whispered, his voice quavering, "I never in a million years meant to hurt you," he stated, knowing in the beginning, he had, "I’m sorry for everything. What we did to you...I just feel so guilty. I’m so sorry."

Rhiannon pulled away, seeing the tears in his eyes, smiling softly as him as she brought her thumb up, brushing them away. This was the Kevin she’d believed he was all along. Just so caring and sensitive and sentimental. This was the Kevin that Rhiannon had seen in the interviews on TV and read about in magazines.

"It’s okay..." she told him, wondering inwardly how many countless nights he’d sat torturing himself on the inside because of how he’d acted and what had happened, "I’m fine...everything is okay now. No need to feel guilty."

"It’s not okay though. It’s obvious that you’re still hurt. But because of us..." his voice trailed off, "I treated you so poorly...I can’t believe I treated you like worthless shit. I’m just beside myself over it."

He thought to the time when Rhiannon had thanked him for saving her live, and all he’d had to say was that he’d had no other choice or else his reputation would have been ruined. She’d tried so hard to get him to open up and had been kind to him through it all, with various words of sarcasm. He’d pretty much told her though that he didn’t care about her at all and if he hadn’t had his career at stake, he would have let her drown. Kevin winced again, wondering how he could even begin to have put his career in front of this precious girl’s life.

"Kevin, baby, please don’t beat yourself up over this..." Rhiannon stated, the pounding in her head going away slowly. She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips, "Please don’t...I’m okay now."

Kevin offered a slight smile, admiring her trying to be so strong and assuring him that it wasn’t his fault, "How can you be so good about this?" he asked, "You’re so forgiving and kind. How could you even want to speak to me? How could you not hold a grudge the size of the Atlantic Ocean? What made you decide to give me a chance?"

Rhiannon shrugged, laughing, "You proved that you were ready to be your true self, so I decided to give you a chance. I felt you deserved a second chance." she told him, "And I’m glad that I did give it to you. How could I even begin to hold a grudge against you when you’ve been trying so hard? You have been the most amazing boyfriend that anybody could ever ask for. You are the most incredible person that I’ve ever met."

Kevin just looked in to Rhiannon’s eyes for a long moment, taking her all in. He could read in her eyes that everything she’d just said had come straight from the heart. She hadn’t sugar coated anything. She had honest to god meant every single word she had said. There were no grudges being held anymore.

"Well, thank you," Kevin finally said, speechless as to what to say. There really was nothing he could say to express his gratitude towards this woman whom he’d grown to love so much over the months, "And to show you how much I appreciate you, I’m taking you out to a nice dinner tonight."

"You don’t have to do that," Rhiannon told him, "It’s unnecessary. You’ve already done so much for me."

"But I want to, so go get changed and we’ll be off." Kevin insisted with a laugh, kissing her again. By looking at her face, he could tell that she felt bad, or like he felt he owed it to her, "Please, darlin?"

Rhiannon sighed, smiling slowly, "Okay..." her voice trailed off, "Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be right down."

She laughed when Kevin’s face lit up, wondering why this was so important to him. Or maybe this was just how their relationship was going to be. He would constantly pamper and spoil her. God, how she hoped it lasted. She felt in her heart that they were perfect for one another. They had like personalities, and he understood her. He took the time to get to know her and understand her, flaws and all and accepted them. Rhiannon didn’t know what, but she knew she’d be figuring out something special to do for him in return for everything. Something very, very special that would show him just how much he meant to her.

Getting up, Rhiannon raced up the stairs, suddenly in a huge hurry to get changed and go out with Kevin. Any moment spent with him, she treasured and didn’t want to keep him waiting long.

Shaking his head as she ran, Kevin laughed in amusement. She sure was something else, but it was her sweetness with a certain energy that magnetized him to her. She brought out the absolute best in him, and for that he was thankful. For the first time since his divorce, he was happy. True, the end of his marriage had been rocky and he’d known that there was somebody better out there for him, but he didn’t know if he would ever find her. He’d spent his days in darkened sadness, feeling lonely. Then when he’d least expected it, and with the one person he expected least to fall for, something had happened. He was happier than he’d been in many, many years.

While he waited, Kevin picked up a small photo album off of the table next to him, casually flipping through it to pass time. He smiled, stopping on one of Rhiannon in the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her. She appeared to be singing in to her hair dryer. It was obvious that she hadn’t known that the picture was being taken, but those were sometimes the best ones. Caught off guard and looking cute.

Continuing to flip through, he noticed that each photo held some sort of special memory or comical moment. Some were of just Savannah, others of just Rhiannon. Then there were the majority of them where the two best friends were together, growing up throughout the years. It was easy to see just how close that they really were. They’d been best friends for ten years...almost as long as the Boys had been a group.

Kevin didn’t realize how much time had passed until he closed the album and caught a glimpse at the clock radiating off of the cable box. Rhiannon had been gone for half hour already. Listening carefully into the quietness of the condo, he didn’t hear a thing. All was completely silence. Worry started to grow in the pit of his stomach, wondering if something had happened to her. Had her headaches returned, causing her to pass out from the intensity of the pain? Had something else happened?

At the thought of his Rhiannon being hurt, it took no time for Kevin to get up from his position on the couch, quickly making his way up the stairs. His heart pounded in his chest, unable to find his voice to call out her name. He still heard no noise coming from anywhere, truly terrified that something really had happened to her. He searched every room frantically, flinging himself in to each one, looking behind each doorway, in to each possible small crack she could have collapsed in to, not even stopping to think that some of them were possibly ridiculous. He didn’t care though. He knew he had to find her.

Then he came to one last door. The only room he hadn’t ventured in to. The door was closed to all but a crack, and Kevin knew that she had to be in there. He was terrified at what he would find, slowly bringing his hand to the door and pushing it open. His heart felt as if it was going to pound its way out of his chest and his throat was clogged with worry, his mouth dry and feeling and thick, still unable to speak, calling out for her as he stepped in to the eerily silent room. He gulped, still not seeing any sign that she’d been present except for a light shining dimly out of the bathroom. There was still no noise though, which only drove him to go closer and closer until he was standing right in front of the bathroom doorway, forcing himself too look inside, preparing himself for the worst.

What he saw wasn’t what he expected at all. Rhiannon stood, appearing to be perfectly fine. She just stared at her reflection in the mirror though, wearing a knee length light pink skirt and a matching bra. She had on no shirt yet, and he was mesmerized by the beauty of her body and her slender curves and perfect proportions of her body. She was gorgeous and he couldn’t help but stare, just taking her all in. But what was she looking at, seeming to be in a daze? There was absolutely nothing wrong with her.
That’s when he saw it though, causing him to flinch slightly. Seeing it in the reflection of the mirror, he saw her shoulder and upper arm. It was an angry, fleshy red, severely blistered and obviously burnt badly. The skin was peeling in places and he knew by looking at it that there would be severe scarring even after it was healed. He wondered what it had come from, and he could tell that she was self conscious of it and felt ugly. Although the burn was definitely an eye sore, he wouldn’t even think that it was ugly.

"What happened to your arm, honey?" he asked aloud without thinking, his voice coming out calmly and sweetly, full of concern.

Rhiannon whipped around, and when she saw him, she searched for the closest thing she could find to cover her up, feeling paranoid and panicked. She found nothing though, feeling exposed and humiliated and completely disgusting. She wondered how long it would be before Kevin ran, finding her repulsive. There had been a reason why she’d constantly hid herself from him, never getting in to a swim suit around him. She didn’t want him to see a part of her that not even she herself could stand to look at. She looked down, ashamed, unable to look in to his eyes, seeing the expression telling her that he wanted a way out right then, but didn’t want to be impolite or rude.

"I...um...I don’t know where it came from," she murmured, lifting her gaze only slightly, but not enough to see his face.

Kevin was silent and she wondered what he was thinking. What was running through his mid at that moment while she stood there frozen in to place, unable to move to cover herself. Was he thinking up desperate excuses to just get out as quickly as he could? If she moved, his eyes were sure to follow, but only because it was just disgusting enough to not be able to tear ones eyes away from.

"It’s from the accident, isn’t it?" Kevin finally asked softly, slowly making his way towards her, but stopped a few feet short when he saw how withdrawn she’d become, afraid of making any wrong move or causing her discomfort.

Rhiannon didn’t reply at first, turning her head to look at the scarring, red shoulder. She then turned her head away, looking up at Kevin nodding slowly after a slight hesitation. A few tears formed in her eyes at the reminder of it all, and before she knew it, she was enveloped into the loving arms of her boyfriend.

"Yes....it’s from the accident..." her voice trailed off as she took in a deep breath to steady her voice, "But I don’t know what the burn is...from...maybe the motor or engine or..."

She looked in to Kevin’s eyes for the first time and saw nothing but caring and sympathy. He just held her, rocking her back and forth slowly in attempt to calm her trembling body. He said nothing for a long moment. He just let her cry on his shoulder, or rather in to his chest due to her short stature, kissing her over and over on the top of the head, burying his face into her hair.

"I’m so sorry," he said, finding out something new about her that night. Even though Kevin knew it wasn’t his fault, he had in a way contributed to it...all of it, "Does...does it hurt?"

Rhiannon hesitated before nodding slowly, "Yeah...hurts like hell. I’m on a strong pain killer to keep the burning feeling down."

Kevin leaned down and tenderly placed a soft kiss upon her shoulder, rubbing it gently. Rhiannon pulled back at first, tensing, but realized that the sensation of his gentle touch was actually helping it to feel just a little bit better. As he continued to softly massage her shoulder with the lightest touch, Rhiannon caught him staring down at her, his eyes every now and then shifting to the huge burn.

"I look hideous." Rhiannon sniffled, "You must want to throw up looking at me."

Kevin shook his head, giving her a small smile as he took his hand away from her shoulder and traced his thumb along her jaw line, just staring to her eyes with so much love to show in them, "I think you look absolutely gorgeous, Rhi. I think every single part of you is absolutely gorgeous."

*~*~*

Howie scowled as he sat down forcefully. This was all just becoming too much for him and he didn’t know how much more he could take or keep his feelings buried inside of him away from Savannah and AJ. As it was, he had the feeling that AJ was beginning to suspect something, but AJ couldn’t outright accuse his best friend of anything unless he saw some sort of affair going on between himself and the radiant Savannah. By the way AJ watched him though, Howie knew that he wasn’t trusted. It was as if the thought of the two being together drove him insane, even though he and Savannah were at this point just best friends.

Savannah Grace...the name was like music to his ears. It was like whenever he heard her name, everything became a little bit brighter. The skies lightened, even in the middle of a storm. The room lit up. His life lit up. Every time he saw her, it was like everything was going to be okay in his life just by her being a part of it. If only she saw him in the same light before he made a complete fool of himself in front of her. Which was why he needed somebody else’s insight on the situation. Somebody’s advice who was wise and would listen. Somebody who wouldn’t take sides, but would give their honest opinion. Somebody he could actually converse with and be taken seriously.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Brian asked Howie, sitting down across from the agitated Latino, "You seem pretty perturbed."

Howie huffed, "Perturbed, irritated, angry, hurt..." his voice trailed off, looking up at Brian who sat looking amused yet patiently waiting for his friend to go on, "I need your advice on a problem I’m having. Maybe you can help, maybe you can’t..."
"Sounds like you just need to vent more than anything else," Brian chuckled, but it died down when he saw the less than pleased glare Howie was shooting him, "Okay, okay...so I’ll stop with the smart ass comments."

"Would be appreciated," Howie countered, "Beings that’s the reason Nick wasn’t an option to talk to. He can’t take anything seriously."

And didn’t Brian know how true that was. No matter what, Nick found a way to turn anything in to something stupid or silly. During interviews, he said the most off the wall things at the most inappropriate times or just randomly said something that made no sense when somebody else was already talking. Even during shows, his attention span caused him to do crazy things that caused the whole audience as well as the Boys to just shake their head in amusement, trying their hardest, and not quite succeeding, not to laugh.

"Sorry," Brian stated, "So...what’s this that’s on your mind?" his Southern accent was thick as he said this.

"I’m sick to death of AJ..." Howie started, knowing he sounded rather harsh, "I wish he would screw up with Savvy to the point that they are over...for good."

Brian looked at the man who was usually the equalizer, the peace maker of the group, in astonishment. Here Howie was, hostile and actually wanting a good relationship to end. Brian wondered if his friend would go as far as to want AJ dead, but decided it would be better for him not to ask, for the answer may not exactly be what he’d want to hear. So instead, he just waited for more to come before speaking his input.

"He keeps messing up and hurting her as it is..." Howie’s voice trailed off, "He...you should see the look on her face every time he leaves her behind to go out and party, or go do something else. She looks so pathetically sad and left out. He didn’t even invite her on tour for Gods sake...until after I did. It’s like, because she has a broken leg, she is a burden to his good time and party life. She isn’t even a party girl. She’s a sweet, kind-hearted, gentle woman. I could treat her so much better...I love her," he stopped to take in a deep breath, "She keeps forgiving him for everything...he tried to practically rape her and she still took him back after not even that long, forgetting everything."

"I think you’re over exaggerating now, D." Brian stated, and when Howie gave him a strange look, he added, "About J practically raping her. If he did, you would have murdered him by now...as protective as you are over Savannah."

"Well, maybe...but that isn’t the point!" Howie stated in exasperation, "He wouldn’t let up...and...will she put up with absolutely anything from him?! I just...nothing he does phases her."

"We all knew you liked her from the beginning..." Brian brought up, "Everyone could see it and you denied it and even told AJ it was fine for him to go for her when he asked your permission. You wouldn’t be in this mess if you’d been up front and honest from the very beginning."

Howie sighed miserably. He knew that Brian was right. He had lied to everybody because he hadn’t wanted to get in the middle of falling for the girl. He couldn’t even remember the reasons why now, but it all seemed so stupid. If only he’d been up front about everything from day one. He had, after all, been the one to jump in to the icy water and save her. Shouldn’t that count for anything at all?

"I know," he finally said aloud, "But like the other day, she was so depressed about AJ leaving her to go to a dance club, of all places, so we hung out and I could tell that her mind was off of him and she was genuinely having a good time...and we were hanging out, laughing and then he shows up out of nowhere, proclaiming his love to her and asking her on tour. I think that Rhiannon went and flipped out on him, telling him he’d better straighten up. You should have seen Sav’s eyes though...they just lit up when he said all of this...it was sickening..." he paused before saying, "I told her I loved her too...but she doesn’t even know that I said it from the heart and not just as a best friend kind of thing."

There were a few moments of silence and Howie wondered if he was being stupid even asking Brian to meet him to ask for advice. Maybe he was over-reacting to a situation that just couldn’t be changed, no matter how hard he wished for it to. His wishes were evil and not very well intentioned, however at this moment, he didn’t care, for he was stuck in a love triangle that he wanted to push his best friend out of.

"Savannah is a sweet girl," Brian finally said, "If I were you, I’d keep doing what you’re doing. Aje may be one of my best friends, just like the rest of you, but...she I know what he looks for and she isn’t his type. I think he’s more in to her for her looks than anything else. .He may be telling himself there is more there than physical attraction, but I honestly think if he looked deep in to his true feelings, he’d see that there really isn’t. He’ll mess up at some point again, only she won’t be there when he tries to fix it.."

Howie shrugged. He didn’t know what to think anymore, and part of him didn’t even believe that Savannah would him even if he cheated on her and she caught him red handed. AJ’s smooth charm obviously had a strong grasp on the girl. He wanted the chance to prove that he could be so much more and give her so much more than AJ ever could. He’d even told her all that he would do for her in attempt to persuade her to lean more in to his direction. What he’d already done was just a preview of what dating him would be like. Howie knew he was stooping to desperate levels of bribery, but wanted to prevent Savannah from being hurt if at all possible before it happened.

"I know...." Howie said, his voice trailing off slightly, knowing that they really weren’t right for each other, "I just wish I knew when and what it was going to be so I could be there for her..."

*~*~*

AJ watched Savannah glow from across the small table. She’d been smiling, radiating beautifully since a couple days before, when he’d asked her on tour with him. He’d never known that a simple question could mean so much to somebody, and chance their entire attitude. He was so glad that he’d asked though, taking Rhiannon’s advice seriously. He was going to do this. He was going to give up partying and going out clubbing so that he could focus all of his attention on Savannah and making their relationship work out. He was going to be patient and kind, taking things at Savannah’s level. He’d come to find that it was something he needed to and even wanted to do just to make things work.

"What?" Savannah questioned, scrunching up her nose when she caught the way AJ was just taking her all in.

"You’re amazing, that’s what," AJ told her seriously, causing Savannah to blush slightly, dipping he head low to hid her reddening face, "Hasn’t anybody ever told you that before, Savvy?"

Savannah raised her head and shrugged before shaking her head slowly, "No...I mean, I’ve had boyfriends before, but nothing this serious. You’re the first I’ve allow to get in...and trust. You know?" she smiled faintly, "I figured that when the perfect guy came, I would know it and let myself fall completely."

And that’s exactly what she’d done. She’d fallen completely for him. He was everything to her, which was why she’d kept giving him chance after chance after chance. Sure, he’d hurt her, even though she’d never admit that. Savannah figured that it was worth it though, because the times that AJ wasn’t screwing up, he was one of the most perfect guys. She honestly didn’t know if there was anybody better for her out there in the large, wide world. Here AJ was though, perfect as he could be, sitting there acting like the perfect gentleman. Just gazing it to his eyes gave her shivers of excitement radiating up and down her spine, arms, legs and body, a tingling sensation taking over her completely.

"I’m glad that you let me in," AJ told her, reaching over to brush a strand of hair out of her eye, "You know I’d never hurt you, right?"

Savannah paused for a second before nodding her head, "I know..." her voice trailed off. Biting her lip nervously, Savannah hoped that he wouldn’t hurt her. He seemed genuine to his words, but anything could happen. Shaking her head, Savannah tried to rid her brain of those negative thoughts. For the past three days, AJ had turned in to the kind of man she wanted. He’d given up his old life, and was really trying. She couldn’t help but think that this AJ was there to stay.

"Oh, I got you something!" AJ suddenly exclaimed, startling Savannah out of her thoughts. Savannah eyed him curiously as he reached down to a backpack he’d been carrying, unzipping it. Seconds later, he pulled out a short, rectangular box that had a small bow on top. He looked in to her eyes as he handed her the box, "This, m’lady, is for you."

Savannah eyed AJ suspiciously as she slowly took the box from him, looking at it for a moment as she turned it around in her hands, feeling that the box was leather. Not imitation leather, but real leather. She looked back up and saw her boyfriends smiling face staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to open the box. She looked down at it for another second before slowly sliding the bow off and opening the box. She gasped at what was inside, gently undoing it from the small clasps in the box. Gently taking it out of the box, Savannah fell in love with the white gold bracelet immediately. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, the chain so dainty and thin. It was perfect, sparkling in the light at all the right angles.

‘What do you think?"

Savannah looked up in to AJ’s eyes, a few tears forming in her own. The gift had been completely unexpected. AJ hadn’t really showered her with gifts. Definitely not how Howie did for her or Kevin did for Rhiannon. AJ had always been simple, so the gift, she knew, came straight from the heart. Savannah never thought that she’d ever get so emotional over something so sentimental, but she was.

"It...it’s the best thing ever to be given to me," she said softly.

AJ smiled warmly at her, "Here, let me help put it on you."

Savannah held the bracelet out to him and he slowly took it from her palm in his fingertips. Savannah held her wrist out an she watched as he wrapped it around from the underside, clasping it in to place firmly. She looked at it, loving how the white gold looked upon her tanned skin, adding some character to her otherwise plain, unjeweled body.

"Thank you," Savannah whispered.

"This is just a small increment of what I’m going to give you, Savvy Grace." AJ assured her, taking both of her hand in to his as he leaned in to seal the well-intentioned promise with a kiss.

Chapter 25 – His Heart Was In The Right Place

“Savvs?! Savvy?!” AJ called brightly, dancing into the girl’s house with an excited chirp to his usually raspy voice. He could hardly contain his excitement as he attempted to locate his lovely girlfriend. Today was the first scheduled rehearsal for appropriately planning the tour, so the boys would be unattainable for the entire day. Adrenaline flowed through his veins at the thought of getting on the road again with Savannah curled sweetly beside him. That’s why he stopped off before the rehearsal in attempts to sneak some affection from his girlfriend first. Of course, he was running late as usual for the rehearsal, but he couldn’t go very long without having a taste of Savannah’s physical presence. She was an obsession that AJ refused to give up. That’s why he was forcing himself to become more tuned into Savannah’s wants and needs. And, the previous dates had been magical, ending with a slight upgrade in their physical boundaries. And, knowing that last night had been exceptionally lovely, he half expected her to come crutching straight into his arms as he popped into the living room. But, unfortunately, he found the room uninhabited by either girl. Frowning slightly, AJ thought about going upstairs till he noticed a tall figure from the corner of his eye. Whirling, AJ came face to face with his eldest friend, causing him to snort with surprise. “Shouldn’t you be at rehearsal Mr. I-Show-Up-At-The-Butt-Crack-Of-Dawn-Just-To-Make-The-Others-Look-Like-Unprofessional-Assholes?”

“Well, if you would show up on time for once, maybe you wouldn’t look like such a sleaze?” Kevin prompted, arching his thick, dark brows in question. He couldn’t help that he was a stickler for promptness. It was an inherited trait of being the oldest man in the group and pseudo-father-figure.

“This is a valid tardy though, Kev, I’m in love!” AJ protested. “And I’m trying to be an excellent boyfriend.”

“An excellent boyfriend, huh?” Kevin mused for a moment with question, unable to believe those chief adjectives would ever consume any portion of AJ’s romantic life.

“Of course!” AJ snorted.

“I did see that little piece of jewelry you wrapped on Savvy’s wrist. She’s fallen in love with that bracelet. I almost thought that Howie got it for her, because it didn’t have your flamboyant style—”

“Don’t underestimate me,” AJ interrupted with a slight growl at Kevin’s suggestion that Howie bought Savannah a gorgeous piece of jewelry. Howie’s behavior with Savannah continued to plague AJ’s mind, but he brushed that backward as he glanced to Kevin, knowing best not to start a fight just before a long practice. “I knew exactly what I was picking out. She has such a natural beauty; she doesn’t really need anything flashy to make her pop out from the woodwork. When she walks into a room, it lights up, regardless of the expensive jewelry she’s wearing. A simple white gold bracelet compliments her exotic beauty far better than anything.”

“Always had to hand it to you when it came to picking out the right jewelry for the right girl…”

“Besides, that’s one piece of a set I purchased. I just figured I’d give them individually when the time is right. More loving for the money,” AJ grinned wickedly with his confession. “The white gold necklace has this awesome pear shaped emerald that matches her eyes.”

“You’re such a devil,” Kevin chuckled, rolling his own light green eyes in amusement.

“I’m really trying though,” AJ confessed, turning serious for a moment. “I love Savvy and I’m going to do right by her. I’ve got everything planned perfectly for the tour. I’m going to make sure she has a special physical therapist while we’re rehearsing and every night she’s going to get the absolute best room service if she doesn’t feel like attending the concert. I’m even asking about any special products that’ll make it easier for her traveling on my tour bus… I’m in love, Kev… Honest to God in love with a perfect woman…”

Kevin looked like he might argue that point of AJ always assuming he was in love, but found himself smiling instead. He was completely oblivious to the fact that AJ had taken several ideas from his interruption into Howie’s night with Savannah, more so infatuated with the depths that AJ professed to go for Savannah. It was hard to deny AJ that little tidbit of security, especially with the way his little brother’s dark eyes glittered at the proclamation. There was a bounce to AJ’s step that Kevin had never really seen before. Instead, AJ had always ridden an emotional rollercoaster filled with wrong choices and haphazard mistakes. To see him fixed into a healthy relationship with a beautiful woman (inside and out) did Kevin’s heart wonders. Sadly, Kevin found himself wanting to steer Howie away from tearing apart this relationship, no matter how badly Howie was infatuated with Savannah. It was easy for Howie to find healthy permanent relationships, but nearly impossible for AJ.

“Sounds like she’s got herself a real good man taking care of her,” Kevin finally answered with a smile.

“Thanks…” AJ beamed, obviously proud that his only father-figure would offer such a monumental comment without prompting. But, like Nick, AJ’s mind quickly trailed from topic and he glanced to see if Rhiannon was nearby. When he was unable to find her, he glanced back to Kevin with confusion. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Waiting for—”

“Kev! I told you that you didn’t have to wait!” Rhiannon instantly chided, sauntering down the stairs as she gingerly fixed the collar of her robin blue button down shirt that complimented the creamy camisole tank and black pants. Kevin had actually spent the night because Rhiannon was getting persistent headaches more than usual. He had even insisted she call the doctor, but he assured them both it was just a part of the healing process and normal to have a relapse several months after the initial head injury. So, when the initial crisis had been averted, Rhiannon had to get ready for work and push Kevin to the door. Obviously, he didn’t leave.

“I wanted to wait to make sure you didn’t need anything,” Kevin insisted, leaning to kiss her softly. Gently, he ran his fingertips against her forehead, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. “And tell you that you looked beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Rhiannon grinned with a blush.

“And, I’m just looking for Savvy Grace,” AJ interrupted, slightly disgusted by the display of affection.

“Oh, she’s upstairs napping,” Rhiannon answered offhandedly, slightly unsure of her assessment. Today had been one of the worst days for Savannah, her depression deepening as a terrible bout of pain surfaced in her tattered leg. She hadn’t slept the entire evening, just moaning softly as tears slipped down her face. Rhiannon had attempted to soothe her, but it was an impossible task. Savannah actually trembled with the freshness of the pain and had a slight fever. Rhiannon was truly at a loss as to what to do, especially when Savannah refused to visit a doctor. She could only impress upon the fact that Savannah continue to take high doses of her pain medication and pray that nothing serious was developing.

“Does she need a kiss from her prince charming to wake up?” AJ asked with another wicked grin, preparing to rush up the stairs. But, Rhiannon quickly caught him with her good arm, practically yanking him downward. “What?”

“Please don’t wake her up right now, AJ.”

“Why?”

“Because she just finally got to sleep…”

“What do you mean?”

“Today isn’t one of her best days. She’s in a lot of pain,” Rhiannon confessed softly, reaching to gather her purse and other items. “She even has a fever… I don’t know what’s happening to be honest and she doesn’t want to see a doctor again. So, I can’t really do anything about it right now… But I really don’t want to leave her alone…”

“Why don’t you call off work?” Kevin suggested softly, noticing the distress in Rhiannon’s light brown eyes.

“I can’t, we need the money.”

“But—”

“What are you guys doing today?” Rhiannon questioned immediately.

“We have our rehearsal all day today,” Kevin informed, watching Rhiannon’s face crumple dramatically. It actually caused a sharp pain to invade his heart, so he quickly reached to cup her face. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to leave Savvy alone… I thought maybe…”

“We’ll take her to rehearsal,” AJ instantly intervened, knowing he’d be the savior in the situation.

Rhiannon glanced up in shock toward the feisty man. She instantly started to chew on her lip, not knowing if that was the best choice for the situation. Savannah may not have talked about it exactly, but Rhiannon knew that Savannah held a dark grudge against her music that followed a mournful depression. It was as if she completely severed the ties in her heart that related to music. In her room, Savannah had removed everything that ever stood to remind her of music. Each CD was packed away into her closet, along with her expensive music system, autographs and personal photographs from her career as a dancer were filed in a box underneath her bed. She refused to even listen to the radio before drifting into slumber. So, going to watch a rehearsal that she was initially supposed to be involved in didn’t sound so brilliant. “I don’t know AJ—”

“She’ll love it!” AJ insisted, refusing to be budged on the issue. He was finally starting to concentrate on what was good for Savannah. And, he couldn’t think of a better way for her to spend a painful day. Getting her to the rehearsal to see all the formalities and excitement of preparing for a popular tour was the ticket. Her heart would be soaring by the end of the day and all her aches and pains magically healed. “She’ll see her man in action! What could be better for her?”

“AJ—”

“I insist,” AJ finished the conversation, never bothering to consult Savannah on what he thought she wanted.

*~*~*

“Figures he was always late before, so what would keep him from being late now?” Brian questioned openly toward Nick and Howie with a lopsided grin, bouncing on his heels with an excited spurt of energy. Four of the Backstreet Boys had already arrived for their first tour rehearsal after a five year hiatus and were anxious to begin the proceedings. Only, they were prevented doing so by their constantly late companion. So, instead, the three attempted to stretch out their warming muscles as Kevin spoke with their management crew and choreographer.

“He stopped off for a quickie! Y’know, that extra spurt of energy for dancing!” Nick announced with a manic grin, obviously far too energized for this rehearsal.

“Somehow, I doubt it,” Howie snorted, pushing Nick’s forehead to cause him to stumble backward. Howie didn’t even want to begin to think of the possibility that Savannah might become so love struck that she’d give up her principals for something AJ would consider meaningless sex.

“Howie!” Nick yelped in shock as he tripped over his own two feet from the push, landing sharply on his backside. He stared at the older Latino in bewilderment. Howie had never forcefully reprimanded him for his outrageous behavior. He was used to the deliberate pushes and slaps from Brian, Kevin, and AJ. But, to have Howie physically quiet him was almost mind blowing.

“Nick…” Howie trailed in immediate guilt, bending to help the young man up. He had been so agitated and aggressive since AJ started dating Savannah. And, since he couldn’t properly vent his frustrations, Howie found himself acting out against the innocents in his life. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey, Savvy’s here!” Nick interrupted, brushing away the abnormality in Howie’s actions as if he had the memory span of a retarded goldfish.

“Huh?” Howie questioned in shock, dropping Nick back to the floor as he turned toward the doors. Sure enough, AJ was entering the building with Savannah at his side. For that first moment, like always, his body reacted with an intense excitement, causing his palms to grow sweaty, his blood pressure to raise, his body to flame with heat, and his heart to accelerate. Savannah was radiant as ever as she concentrated on the placement of her crutches and AJ’s voice instead of looking ahead. She wore a simple pair of faded, low-riding, boot-cut blue jeans to match her denim jacket that layered her creamy red rib-knit tank. A portion of her toned abdomen was revealed from the shortness of her tank, revealing a ruby bellybutton ring. Her blonde curls were pulled into two low pigtails with free curls framing her face. She looked so perfect, even if she was hobbling with crutches.

“God, she always looks hot,” Nick announced from his slumped position on the floor, obviously reading Howie’s mind. “Remind me to nail some of my dance moves.”

“Some being the key word,” Brian chuckled.

“But what’s she doing here?” Howie finally voiced, clearing his fantasies away to assess the situation. An immediate worry started to plague the pit of his stomach. Savannah had been adamantly against involving herself with music again, so why would she want to come watch a rehearsal that she had been stripped of by Nick’s stupidity?

“She’s here to watch AJ,” Kevin announced somewhat stiffly, finally joining up with the boys. He glanced toward Howie, hoping he wouldn’t cause any serious problems. The tension was rising amongst the group members, mostly because of Howie’s insistence in hoping for AJ’s destruction. “And Rhi’s coming a little later after work.”

“That just doesn’t make sense,” Howie disagreed after another moment of deliberation, watching AJ slip Savannah a passionate kiss and motion toward a seat before scurrying off to speak with some old friends. Savannah eased her body down into the chair, but immediately reached to grasp her leg as it barely touched the ground. Howie watched her beautiful face contort into a look of agony as her skin seemed to pale except for a strong flush in her cheeks. Frowning, Howie glanced to see that AJ was occupied, and then slipped over to Savannah. “Hey, Sweetheart!”

“Howie?” Savannah laughed with surprise as the man bent to hug her. She forced a delighted smile, patting his back as he affectionately kissed her cheek. “Shouldn’t you be warming up?”

“I had to see you first and I think you’re warm enough for the both of us,” Howie commented, reaching to feel her flushed cheek. “You okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Savannah lied, brushing his concern away. “It’s just hot as hell outside.”

“Oh…” Howie trailed, already knowing that she was hiding away the truth of her condition. But, he said nothing damning, just sitting down beside her on the other folding chair. “So, what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to watch JJ shake his stuff,” Savannah answered brightly, hiding the fact that she hadn’t even been given a choice in the situation. Rhiannon didn’t want to leave her home alone with her serious injuries, so AJ took her to the rehearsal as if he were babysitting an infant. It was infuriating and saddening in the same instant, causing a sour disposition to bubble in Savannah’s already broken heart. But, she acted as if she wanted to be there just so she didn’t disappoint AJ and his attempts to become a loving boyfriend. His heart was in the right place.

“And shake it for you, I will!” AJ announced brightly, approaching the twosome like a whirling tornado. He had been talking casually with a group of people until he noticed Howie approach Savannah with a hug and kiss. After catching Howie and Savannah’s conversation the last time they were alone, added with the constant sleepovers Howie invited himself to, AJ couldn’t help but keep a tighter guard over his girlfriend. He didn’t want to think that his best friend could be capable of such treachery, but he didn’t want to take the chance with such a wonderful woman. So, it took only a spare moment for AJ’s rage of jealousy to ignite within his whole body. Tensing, he hurried over to the scene to establish dominance like a wild animal.

“As long as it’s for me only,” Savannah laughed as AJ turned to offer a wildly feminine shake of his backside. He then turned as if he might give her a lap dance, but leaned down to brush a passionate kiss to her lips. And, with the heated embrace initiated, AJ brought Savannah’s arms around his neck, making sure Howie could see the delicate piece of jewelry wrapped on her dainty wrist. “Mmm…”

“Remember, I love you?” AJ whispered with a rasp as he let their lips linger just inches apart.

“I’ll remember,” Savannah promised with soft sigh.

But Howie found himself wondering if the sigh was of contentment or, hopefully, of hidden sorrow.

*~*~*

Just a few more hours… You’re doing okay… It’s not so bad…

Savannah exhaled slowly as she continued to subconsciously encourage herself for maintain normalcy while watching the boys’ rehearsal. She had to admit when AJ roused her from an exhausted nap and told her of the plans, she was furious. No one had asked her what she wanted. They didn’t take into consideration the fact that she had been robbed of this very opportunity. Nor did they consider that it would be torturous to force her to watch from the sidelines. Much less did they seem to understand the tremendous physical pain and sickness was being inflicted on her body that day. Instead they insisted that she should be thrilled with the opportunity, but it was just another wound to inflict in her already shredded soul.

She initially wanted to tell him to go to Hell, but the excitement gleaming within his dark brown eyes had caused a wave of guilt to perplex her heart. AJ’s love of music still thrived deep inside his heart and she should be supportive of that. A relationship wasn’t one-sided and she continued to remind herself that as she watched the boys working so diligently on stage. Besides, the rehearsal hadn’t been so horrible because they practiced their slow ballads first. That gave AJ an opportunity to sing the worth of his entire heart and soul to Savannah. And she had to admit that his voice invested chills down her spine. So, swallowing her pride, she attempted to focus back on the show.

This is for AJ…

“Well, if it isn’t the charity project of the Backstreet Boys,” a somewhat nasally voice announced, breaking into Savannah’s thoughts. She immediately glanced up to catch a somewhat anorexic woman that looked to be far older than the young Savannah. She was short and lean with no real curvature to her childlike body. Her hair was bleached into a white straw color with dark roots slightly peeking along her hairline. Her dark brown eyes seemed to glow with the wrath of jealousy. “I’ve got to tell you, I find it really clever that they decided to invite you to watch the tour… Poor little girls don’t ever bite the hand that feeds them.”

“And you are exactly?”

“The overqualified woman that took your place in this fabulous tour,” the woman insisted, extending a deadly manicured hand to clutch Savannah’s delicate hand. Her acrylic nails pressed hard into Savannah’s flesh, hoping to elicit a howl of pain. But, Savannah remained silent as she stared upward. She didn’t know what to say. Usually, she would lash out with her overextended vocabulary and hash the woman into nothingness. “You must feel like complete shit, knowing that you missed out on this huge chance. Most girls would kill to reach the level of professionalism here. I heard you were in a few silly music videos, but a well-publicized tour is where you make your huge break into the business—”

“Your point?” Savannah interrupted curtly, feeling her stomach twist with nausea.

“It’s just a really bad break… Y’know, with what happened to that leg of yours.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you feel for me…” Savannah answered dryly.

“But, maybe it was a blessing. You couldn’t have been that talented for God to just take away something so special.”

“You freaking—”

“Rest assured, the best dancer got your position,” she cattily purred as the dancers were called to their positions. Sure enough, she sauntered straight over to AJ, seductively reaching to hug him tightly and kiss his cheek.

Savannah just stared at the woman in shock, wondering how God could allow such hate and offensiveness to settle into one woman - especially a woman who was given such tremendous opportunities in life. She was fully prepared to use her crutches to beat the woman to a bloody pulp, but the music and chorography quickly started. So, Savannah slouched back into her chair, just staring lifelessly at what should have been an electrically charged dance. But, she was able to quickly access the laziness and damage the haphazard dancers were bringing to the dance. She continued to assess the damage, noticing missed beats and unsynchronized steps. It looked like a mess as Fatima immediately started to holler corrections.

Savannah knew she could do much better. At the tender age of five, Savannah could have danced circles around these ‘professional’ dancers. She had the talent of _expression heartfelt emotions within each move and articulation of her body. She felt the music on a molecular level, making the music exude from every essence of her being as she danced. She could provide a passion for the dance that no one could ever attempt to top. She would mesmerize the crowd.

Nevertheless, she’d never be given the opportunity to create such beauty again. The doctor had already made it quite clear about her predicament. He had undoubtedly stressed the point that she would be extremely lucky just to walk away from the accident with a profound limp. So, her talents had been stripped away from her for something that wasn’t her fault. It was extremely unfair and she finally lost control of her emotions.

Unable to stand watching the disaster in front of her any longer, Savannah boosted herself upward. It hurt too much to keep silent and she was finally breaking down. She moved toward the exit as tears started to flood her vision. She didn’t want to disturb her best friends’ work, so she attempted to be quiet. But, without clear vision, she stumbled slightly in her attempt to escape. She dropped her crutches and she didn’t care, proceeding to push out the door despite the extreme agony tearing through her broken leg.

But Howie seemed to care as he watched her practically crawl out the door without her crutches. His heart lurched in shock, realizing the damage she could do to her already injured leg. He jumped from the stage without much consideration for anything, proceeding toward the exit to claim Savannah’s crutches and soothe her aching heart.

Nevertheless, the perfect boyfriend, AJ, didn’t care, much less notice, as he fell into the deeper concentration of his dancer’s off balance, yet extremely seductive, rhythms.