Summary: Five men trying to fulfill their destinies as they venture from genre to genre hoping upon last hope that one of those genres fits them perfectly...will it be drama? Or perhaps suspense? Maybe sci fi or slash or... "Excuse me, don't want to be a bother but..." Writer: I'm in the middle of our summary what now Nick? "Well it's just that if it were up to us we wouldn't be in this story at all it's you that wants us to find a place not us." Writer: Oh whatever...just read it people or I off the cute blonde! "Hey!"
By the 3 M's
Marina (just marina)
Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters:
Action, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Fantasy, Horror, Humor, Romance, Science Fiction, Supernatural, SuspenseWarnings:
1. 1 by Mare
2. 2 by Mare
3. 3 by Mare
4. 4 by Mare
5. 5 by Mare
6. 6 by Mare
7. 7 by Mare
8. 8 by Mare
9. 9 by Mare
10. 10 by Mare
11. 11 by Mare
12. 12 by Mare
13. 13 by Mare
14. 14 by Mare
15. 15 by Mare
16. 16 by Mare
17. 17 by Mare
18. 18 by Mare
19. 19 by Mare
20. 20 by Mare
21. 21 by Mare
22. 22 by Mare
23. door number one ~ Marina's ending by Mare
24. door number two ~ Mersey's ending by Mare
25. Door number one revisited...it's about time! lol by Mare
26. door number three ~ Mare's ending by Mare
No Howies were harmed during the writing of this introduction…
How long they had been walking no one knew for sure. Kevin went to look at his watch, wiping the sweat off his brow as he did. Why he left his hat in the car was a mystery, but they had walked too far to turn back now.
“How’s everyone holding up?” He asked carefully eyeing each boy as they trotted along the paved road leading to nowhere.
His eyes first went to his cousin, Brian the one who had gone through so much as a child. No one was sure he was even going to live to see ten but yet here he was, a thirty year old father. Brian feeling his cousin’s eyes on him looked up and smiled, it was hard to see his eyes through the tinted sunglasses he wore, but there no doubt was concern etched in his brow.
Next Kevin’s eyes traveled across from Brian over to Howie who was walking oddly slow for the man who they all nicknamed Trump Junior.
“D? You okay?”
“Yeah, I guess I’m letting the sun get to me a little bit.”
“You want some of my water” AJ asked as he quickened his pace to match the Latino’s.
Howie grabbed the water from AJ and took a few swigs, “Thanks J.”
“No problem bro…”
AJ, now there was someone Kevin was fiercely proud of; he had overcome so much over the last few years, 2 ½ years sober, and now a whole new person.
Last but not least hanging in the back, head bowed down to watch his own feet, walked Nick. Kevin slowed his own pace to match his youngest friend’s, “How you doing little man?”
“Good, I’m a little worried about Howie; he doesn’t seem to be handling the sun all that well.”
“It’ll all work out Nicky, how are you feeling?”
“I’m okay but Kevin I’m kind of scared about all of this I mean where are we going anyway?”
Kevin placed his arm around Nick, “Not sure buddy, but we’ll be okay.”
Just as he said that Howie fell to the ground which made all four men run to his aide…
Writer: Okay I’m going to have to stop this here.
The boys reaching down to help Howie suddenly stopped in their tracks. ..Looking around nervous, anxious and confused Brian was the first one to call out to the voice.
Writer: NO you idiot not God.
Brian still confused took a few steps back, “Did God just call me an idiot?” AJ now stood up and walked over to Brian and both men gazed up at the sun.
“AJ am I hearing things or did you hear that too?”
“No I heard…who is there? We need help our friend is hurt.”
Writer: I think that’s a bad idea
“Huh?” Both AJ and Brian said at the same time, now Nick slowly made his way over to his baffled friends.
Writer: It wouldn’t work if Howie is the one that falls because typically in fan fiction situations it tends to be Nick who gets hurt. My characterizations are all wrong.
“What the hell is happening here,” Nick said staring at the tree he was convinced was talking to him.
Kevin who had been ignoring the scene which was gradually beginning to unfold before his eyes left Howie’s side and ventured over to the rest.
Writer: See what happened? Poor Howie just collapsed and already all four of you have left him. It works much better with Nick falling…Nick collapse would you?
“Why is the tree telling me to collapse Kevin? Am I having like a delusion or something?”
Kevin now stood with a protective arm around Nick and one around AJ. He tried to wrap a protective leg around Brian but he was afraid he would fall.
“Uh guys a little help here?” Howie said from his position on the ground as he lay with his arms protectively wrapped around his midsection.”
Writer: Okay you see why it’s not working now boys?
“Who are you?” Kevin asked the air.
Writer: I’m the writer of this story and I’m kind of sad because I don’t want this story to suck!
“Story? What story?” Kevin was now walking towards the middle of the road away from the other boys.
“Guys I’m kind of sick here so if you could help that would be just great.” Howie pleaded off in the distance.
Writer: Didn’t you wonder why you are walking in the middle of nowhere Kevin? Doesn’t that seem odd to you?
Kevin thought about this for a few minutes before responding, “Well a little but our car broke down.”
Writer: So all of you leave the car to go for help? No one brings a cell phone?
“Well, I didn’t really think about it…”
Writer: Exactly, it makes no sense and then Howie collapses? That just seems odd.
Nick walked slowly and cautiously over to Kevin and tapped him on the shoulder, “Kev when you’re done talking to the tree we should probably continue on for help.”
Writer: I’m not a tree…jeez now I know why you are always so stereotypically dumb.
“Wow that tree sure is mean!”
Writer: For the love of God I’m not a…oh never mind you’ll figure it out eventually.
“I think I may be dying people… some help would be just great over here.” Finally everyone turned their attention back to Howie who was struggling to sit up.
“What happened? Why was everyone over there staring up at that tree?” Howie asked once the guys made their way back to his side.
“Because it was talking and telling us to do things.” Nick said once again looking back at the tree.
Writer: I was telling them what a bad idea it was for you to be the one to fall sick because classically no one seems to care about you one way or the other.
Nick moved in to Howie and bent down to whisper in his ear, “That tree is hella mean D, don’t listen to it.”
“Have you all lost your ever loving minds?” Howie asked in disbelief.
Writer: No they haven’t Howie, it’s just that we want this story to be good so we’re kind of experimenting how to make this the best story ever.
“The tree is confusing me.” Nick said to Brian who was grasping a picture of his wife in one hand and his cross in the other.
Writer: I can tell you are going to annoy me by the end of the story I might have to just give you some horrible disease and make you die or something Nick.
“Hey lay off my little brother!” Kevin said now holding a fist in the air at the tree.
Writer: And you know you don’t always have to be so stereotypically heroic Kevin. You’re not everyone’s hero. Just like we don’t need to hear about Brian being a daddy and your cousin and AJ being 21/2 years sober.
“What’s wrong with me being 21/2 years sober? I’m damn proud of that fact.” AJ said walking towards the tree angrily.
Writer: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it…yawn, it’s old and tired.
“So what exactly are you getting at?” Kevin said helping Howie to his feet.
Writer: I am getting at this… an adventure boys where you are the main characters. You’ll jump from plot to plot until we find the perfect fit for you.
“You mean kind of like that three bear’s story?” AJ asked nodding his head.
“Oh yeah Baylee loves that one. He mimics me saying it was just right…and then Leigh and I act out the parts.”
“Can I make a request that Leighanne does not appear anywhere in this story?” Nick whispered covering his face so Brian couldn’t see his lips moving.
Writer: Now that is the smartest thing you have said so far Nick.
“So what happens next then? Are we going to get some help?” Kevin asked still suspicious and why wouldn’t he be? There was an inanimate object talking to him.
Writer: I am NOT an inanimate object I’m the writer!
Writer: Why am I arguing with myself?
Kevin shrugged and ruffled Nick’s hair just as a pinkish car suddenly appeared from over the horizon.
Writer: And this my friends is how your story really starts…
“If this is how it starts what was all that we just went through?” AJ asked accusingly.
Writer: It’s called an introduction if you read more than porn magazines you would know that!
“So no more explanations about why I collapsed then?” Howie asked now standing and feeling fine.
Writer: Nope unfortunately that is what we call a stupid idea.
“Bummer!” Howie sighed as the pink car stopped and out came a beautiful blonde girl…Hope you guys enjoy this! Just Marina will be up next Friday with chapter 2 ;)
T-NieS R Uz
The Teeny chapter
~By (Just) Marina~
The five boys looked up at the blonde girl who had just came out of the car and…pretended to be statues because none of them were reacting.
Writer: Ugh! Come on guys, do something. Don’t stand there like idiots, let’s move on with this story. We have a beautiful blonde woman coming out from a pink car. This story has potential now; you just need to go with the flow.
“Wait a minute.” Nick had not been really paying attention to the road since all that time he had been inspecting the tree looking for some kind of gimmick. “Did you say a blonde woman in a pink car?” he asked running to the other side of the tree and looking at the car from behind its branches “You gotta be kidding me. You are not bringing her here. No way.”
Writer: Her? Damn, you are really dumb, aren’t you? Go and look at her blondie. I said a BEAUTIFUL blonde, beautiful being the key word here. Furthermore, I can’t stand her, I wouldn’t ever bring her here….although, now that you mention it.
“Don’t you dare,” Nick said coming from behind the tree and standing next to AJ. The car wasn’t too close to them and due to the shining sun it was difficult to see the girl clearly. Noticing that the other guys had brought their hands up to their foreheads to shield their eyes from the sun, he did the same.
“Wow she really is beautiful,” he murmured and heard AJ release a soft whistle. The girl was very tall with blonde shoulder length hair. She was wearing very tight shorts and a pink tank top over her very tan body. A very big pair of sunglasses completed her look.
Howie looked back at the tree “Repetitive much? That description was VERY stupid.”
Writer: Do you want to be a part of this story? You know it would be so easy for me not give you any lines, like so many writers out there.
“Do you guys need help?” The girl yelled from her place next to the car before Howie had time to say any other dumb things and interrupt the writer again.
Howie rolled his eyes at the tree but the writer cleverly ignored him and went back to the amazing description of the girl.
“Please! Amazing description?”
Writer: Okay shorty, you are pushing your luck here so shut up or I’ll make you shut up.
“How are you….cough, cough” A coughing fit stopped Howie from bothering the writer anymore.
The blonde girl took a couple of steps toward the guys. You could say she was a little afraid to come any closer. She was already really brave, or really stupid, coming out of her car with 5 strangers out there.
Kevin walked to her. “Our car broke down and we have been walking for too long. Do you think you can give us a ride?”
When she heard Kevin speak she tilted her head to one side, took off her glasses and opened her mouth in awe. Suddenly she started to jump up and down, moving her hands in the air “Oh my God, oh my God.” She wasn’t yelling, she was screeching. “You are the Backstreet boys, oh my good. Alex, the Backstreet boys!”
“Huh?” At the mention of his name, AJ looked at the other guys confused while another girl came out of the car.
She was a stunning beauty too. She wasn’t as tall as the first girl and her hair was very dark, but she was as tanned as the other girl and she could have been in a beauty pageant too, except for one little detail, or more like two, she had a couple of piercings on her face. Her clothes were completely different too, instead of shorts and a cute pink top, she was wearing jeans and a black shirt, one of those that had the name of a band on them, although from his place AJ couldn’t read which band it was.
“Great the backseat boys. Yippee!” she exclaimed completely unenthusiastically making circles with one finger in the air.
“Guys, we are your biggest fans.”
“Talk for yourself Nicole. I don’t like the backdoor boys.” And with that the brown haired girl went back to the car leaving the guys with their mouths hanging open.
“Oh don’t mind Alex. She tries to act like she is all rock and roll but she is a softy inside.”
“Her name is Alex?” AJ asked.
“Alexandra. I’m Nicole.” She said offering him her hand and then shaking hands with the rest of the guys. “But what are you doing here?”
They all looked at each other.
“Is it a secret? It has to do with the release of the new album? It does, right? I know it does. Wow, so exciting. Okay maybe you can’t tell me but if you do you have nothing to worry about, I won’t say anything.” She was speaking so fast the boys couldn’t interrupt and just kept nodding or shaking their heads after every question. “But come on. Climb in the car. I will take you to the next town but first we will have to make a stop. Our friends are waiting for us and if we don’t get there on time they could get worried. But it won’t take too much time to do that so don’t worry. Come on, climb in the car! What you are waiting for?”
“Where are your friends?” Kevin asked opening one of the back doors of the double-cabin pick up truck.
“We are spending some time in this cabin next to the lake. It’s right on the way to the next town so we won’t lose too much time, really.” Nicole answered sitting behind the wheel.
“Okay.” Kevin said at the same time Brian and Howie took a seat next to him.
“Nick come on.” He yelled at the younger member of the group who was looking at the tree again with a weird look on his face.
“I’m coming.” He replied intending to climb into the truck. “Move over Brian.”
“We are not going to fit.” Kevin said closing his door in AJ’s face just when he was about to go into the car.
“Go in the back with Nick.”
“Because I said so. What is that phrase you always use AJ? Beauty before age? Well, let’s say this time its age before beauty.”
“Idiot” AJ said reluctantly climbing into the bed of the truck.
“Isn’t that against the law, Kevin?” Nick hadn’t moved and was still holding onto the other door, not letting Brian close it.
“Just if you are a kid and as much as you two act like kids most of the time you both are legal so hurry up.”
“But what if we get hurt?”
“Come on Nick, you have done things 100 times more dangerous in your life, you are not telling me that you are afraid of riding in there?”
“I’m not afraid it’s just that…” Just then Kevin noticed that Nick was looking at Nicole from the corner of his eye. Great! The kid is about to fall in love again, what’s with him and every single blonde he meets.
“Nick, just go there okay, I’m sure these girls don’t want to lose more time because of us.”
“Okay.” He said finally closing the door.
When AJ and Nick were finally seated Kevin decided to find out more information about the girls that were helping them.
“So, you said your friends were waiting for you in a cabin, right?”
“Yes, we are in a band, and we are practicing for some concerts we have next week. Kelly’s parents, she is one of our friends. Kelly’s parents own this cabin and we thought it would be a cool idea to come here.”
“A band? Let me guess. A girl band, right? And there are five of you?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“Son of a ….” Kevin murmured sticking his head and right arm out of the window to face the tree and give it the finger before the car started. You set us in a stupid teenybopper story.
Writer: You can’t ever lose with one of those stories Kevin. Everybody loves them.
“Fuck you.” He replied aloud without thinking.
“Kevin!” Brian scolded him “There are ladies here.”
The only reply he got was Alexandra’s laugh.
“Do you want some water?” Nicole offered them a bottle, which Howie accepted.
“So your friends are waiting for you?” Brian tried to keep the conversation going. “Were you buying something or just driving around?”
“Oh no. You probably passed Anytown on your way here, right? It’s the last town south, the one we left behind. There was a concert there last night that Alex and I went to. The other girls didn’t want to go but since it would end up pretty late we told them we will be staying in the town for the night. They are expecting us today though.”
“Why are you telling so much to these strangers, Nicky?”
Howie almost chocked on the water hearing this girl’s friend call her Nicky.
“So you are just realizing it, right Howie?” Kevin whispered in the ear of an extremely confused Howie.
“They are not strangers Alex. They are the Backstreet Boys.”
“You are soo naïve Nicky.”
“This is scaring me guys,” Howie murmured.
Behind them, on the other side of the glass, AJ and Nick were fighting.
“Move your feet AJ, they’re in my space.”
“Bite me Carter.”
Brian looked at the girls again.
“This is like the twilight zone.”
“Wait till you met Brianna and Howina,” Kevin added tongue in check.
“Hahaha. Howina!” Brian was trying not to laugh out loud while Howie’s face showed his horror.
“Well, there’s a Kelly, there has to be a Brianna and a…”
“Did you say Brianna?” Nicole interrupted checking them out in the rearview mirror. Howie elbowed Kevin who cleared his throat.
“Isn’t that the name of one of your friends?” Kevin asked a little insecure.
“Yes, how did you know?”
“Oh I did? I don’t remember but I guess I did.” She shrugged, her eyes looking at the road again.
Kevin grinned at Howie. “See, I was right, wait till you meet Howina,” he whispered.
“That’s not even a name.” Howie objected.
“And if it’s a name, it’s the name of an ugly girl.” Brian laughed. He was enjoying Howie’s reaction to all this.
“Oh well, Howina or no Howina, it’s a cabin with five girls, I’m all for it. Besides, it could be worse you know, we could be in a scary story or something.”
The minute he said that they heard a big explosion and the car went off the road. Everyone screamed until Nicole regained control of the vehicle.”
“Did I do that?” Howie asked but nobody replied. Brian was asking the girls if they were all right and Kevin had jumped off the car to check on Nick and AJ.
“Are you guys okay?”
“My head,” Nick complained bringing his hand to the side of his head.
“Nicky.” Kevin was already at his side trying to check if he had an injury.
“This is your fault Kevin, you made us ride here. Didn’t you know how dangerous this could be?”
“Let me see your head Nick and stop talking.”
“I’m okay Kevin” Nick said pushing Kevin’s hand away and standing up.
“Yes, I think I just bumped into AJ’s shoulder and since he is so bony it hurt me but its nothing.” Since he was smiling Kevin was convinced that he was okay and shaking his head he left them to go check on the tire that had exploded.
“What happened?” AJ asked. Everybody was out of the car now, waiting for Kevin to finish inspecting the damage.
“This is weird, there’s a big hole here.”
“Duh Kevin, it just exploded, of course there’s a hole.” Nick mocked him.
“Shut up idiot not that kind of hole.”
“Are there different kinds of holes?” Nick looked at everyone for an answer.
AJ was about to say something but Howie was faster. “What ever you are thinking Jay, don’t say it.” AJ laughed. “And put that cig away.”
“Man you are not funny at all.” AJ said inhaling a deep drag of his cigarette and smiling.
“So what’s with the tire Kevin?” Howie decided to ignore AJ who was lighting a cigarette for that girl Alexandra now.
“Its like someone has cut it”
“Sabotage?” Brian asked.
AJ hummed the theme from Jaws making Alexandra laugh.
“Okay guys I know you are joking but you are scaring me,” Nicole whined and although you could tell by Nick’s face that he was scared too, he put his arm around her.
“Don’t worry. Nothing will happen. AJ is only joking. Right AJ?”
“Of course I’m joking.”
“And it isn’t sabotage.” Kevin added. “So you have nothing to worry about. I’m sure we just drove over something that caused this. Now we just have to change the tire.”
“But we don’t have a spare one.”
“Great.” Rok threw his hands in the air.
“Why don’t you have a spare one?”
“Because we are using it.” Nicole pointed to back right tire. “We had a flat tire on the way to the cabin the first day. We were supposed to go to the station in Anytown but we forgot.”
“Do any of you have a cell phone?”
Both girls shook there heads.
“Is the cabin far?”
“No, it’s like 10 minutes that way.” Alexandra pointed to a dirt road on her right.
“Well, I guess we just have to walk…. again” Kevin released a deep breath.
“Great” Brian rolled his eyes. “Do you at least have a phone there?”
“There’s no phone but Heidi has her cell phone, she doesn’t go anywhere without it.”
“Heidi!” Howie had the biggest grin on his face. Brian and Kevin started to laugh while the rest stared at them confused.
“Okay, let’s move guys.” Kevin clapped his hands and everyone started to walk.
“Why don’t I have a cell phone Kevin?” Howie asked him when they had walked for at least 5 minutes.
“Huh?” He looked at him for a second and then went back to concentrate on the people who were walking in front of him. Nicole and Nick were laughing at something Brian was saying.
“I always carry a cell phone, and I checked but I don’t have one.”
“I don’t know Howie.”
“That’s not what bothers me. It’s the fact that I don’t remember why I don’t have one and I’m okay with it. And for some reason I’m starting to feel really comfortable here.”
“You feel comfortable walking with this heat?”
“Not that but I like this place and these girls are really nice and… I don’t know Kev, I’m just worrying because suddenly I’m thinking about taking a couple of days off and that’s so not me. But then I’m sure I’m not the only one considering it. Check on AJ and Nick, and even Brian. Did you notice how he hasn’t mentioned Leighanne in two hours?”
Kevin didn’t reply and just turned his head around to look at AJ and Alexandra who were walking behind them chatting about something. It was good to see AJ happy with someone and this girl, no matter the tough attitude, seemed pretty nice.
“Don’t worry Howie,” he said patting his friend’s back but suddenly stopped and looked at the sky. “Don’t worry Howie? Don’t worry Howie? Why would I say that? I know what you are doing. You want us to feel comfortable in this story. Well it’s not going to happen and quite frankly you are not doing a good job. This story sucks. You are lacking in the writer department, a lot. Your descriptions are terrible, you are jumping from one situation to another and…” Howie was looking from Kevin to the sky and nodding while Alex and Alex had already passed them by.
Writer: Wow, I didn’t know I had another literary critic with us.
“Well, you have to accept that you are not doing a great job” Kevin kept going.
Writer: I changed genres, Kevin, this is a teeny story now, and you have to give your public what they want. Teens don’t want long and boring poetic descriptions, they want action, romance. I think I’m doing a great job. You know what? I think this story might even get me a fanfiction award. But thanks for your interest. Now keep walking!
Writer: Walk or I’ll try to win an award for most dramatic death of a backstreet boy.
After exchanging a quick glance and showing that they still had some sense in their heads both men quickened their pace and reached the other guys.
Writer: Good boys!
Some minutes later they reached the cabin. They weren’t more than a couple of steps away when the door opened and a petite strawberry blonde walked out of the house. When she saw the girls she ran to them.
“Girls what happened? Wow!” She stopped in her tracks. “The Backstreet Boys?!”
Kevin was the first one to approach her.
“Hello Brianna, nice to meet you.” He said shaking her hand.
“How did you know my name?”
“Intuition.” Kevin answered quickly before turning around to look at Brian. His cousin was smiling ear to ear, and the fascination in his eyes was pretty clear. Kevin’s only reaction to that was to shake his head and roll his eyes.
Hope you enjoy this one! Mersey will be back next Friday with another chapter :)
Disappearing Teenies, an Angry Nick and One Tree Falling Axe Man
(AKA The suspense Chapter)
Ever since we left the boys with a group of Spice Girls wannabes, a lot had changed. For one, Kevin had finally let his guard down and was now locked in a very healthy conversation about trees with Kelly. It made him feel bad for flicking off the tree back there.
“I so did not!” Kevin protested, talking to the roof.
“Were you talking to the roof Kevin?” Kelly asked, weirded out. Kevin, realizing he couldn’t win and was at the whim of the writer, brushed it off and continued his conversation with Kelly.
“I hate staying here, the air is so dry, and it’s giving me split ends! So where were you guys going anyway?” Heidi asked Howie flirtatiously.
“I’m not sure really, before we met Nicole, I almost died! I think my hair is curling up again, I hate it here too.” Howie replied, running his fingers through his hair.
“What? You almost died? Poor thing! What happened? I think I have a straightening cream somewhere in my bag.”
Heidi went through her bag and found the straightening cream. Everything else seemed to fade away in Howie’s eye.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
Meanwhile, somewhere in a corner, Brian was preaching about finding oneself to Brianna while constantly trying to stop her legs from moving too much and showing him more than he should be seeing.
“I’m thinking of getting another tattoo, maybe a star.” Alex said, showing her ankle. “Maybe have it here.”
“Cool! I got a star myself. Least painful of the lot.” AJ replied. “What do you think of skulls?”
“I think they rock.” Alex said as she touched the one on AJ’s neck. “That is one scary neck vein.”
“Girls find that sexy.” AJ pointed out in his husky voice.
“Well…I’m not just any other girl AJ.”
AJ, ever the serial engager, felt that the timing was right to pop the question. “Will you marry me?”
Brianna was bored with Brian’s preaching and felt the change of subject necessary. If only she could convince Brian that she’s the one for him, she’d do anything to marry this Backstreet Boy, the prospect of being in the limelight and having his credit cards was just the thing she needed right now. And she knew that the best way to approach this was to be subtle and win his heart.
“I wonder what Nick and Nicole are doing in there.” Brianna said, eyeing the closed door. The creaking of the bed led to a lot of pictures in Brian’s head.
“Oh great. I worry about him you know? He just met her!”
“I know. I feel the same way about Nicole. I always remind her that as a young woman, we should have some self-respect. I may dress this way but I don’t believe in sexual intimacy when I barely know a guy.”
Brian smiled widely. “You know what, let’s go in there and talk to them. It’s still not too late to save their souls.”
Realizing this is an opportunity to get into his good books, Brianna agreed.
The door was unlocked to Brian’s surprise.
So there they were, Nicole and Nick, doing star jumps on the bed. Fully clothed too [get your mind out of the gutter!]. They were giggling and trying to touch the ceiling.
“Nick, what are you doing?”
“Playing star jumps. Wanna join?” Nick asked, still jumping.
“No I don’t want to join. You should stop; it’s not nice jumping on people’s beds.” Brian pointed out.
“She’s not just some random people Brian, she’s my girlfriend!” Nick grinned.
“You’re what?” Brian almost yelled. “Nick bro, you just met her TODAY.”
“And it’s love at first sight. Right Ni-” Nick stopped jumping, for some reason; Nicole wasn’t on the bed with him. “Where did she go?”
He jumped down from the bed and started looking underneath it. “Nicole?”
“Nick come on, she’s not under there.” Brian said.
Nick looked up, thinking Nicole had jumped too high and shot out of the roof, but the roof was still intact. Meanwhile, AJ, Howie and Kevin came rushing into the room.
“Something’s wrong guys, the girls just disappeared into thin air!” AJ exclaimed.
Brian looked around and couldn’t find Brianna. That’s weird; he swore she was standing right next to him.
“Heidi left with the hair cream!” Howie cried hysterically.
“Man, Kelly was about to sign the save the trees petition.” Kevin sighed.
“Yadayadayada…lets focus on the important thing here, NICOLE is missing! My GIRLFRIEND is missing!”
Kevin, ever the sensible one, realized something was amiss. People don’t just disappear into thin air. After raising about a quarter of an eyebrow, he figured it out.
“I know it! This is the stupid tree’s doing!”
Brian thought his first cousin was crazy. AJ thought all the tree talk was too much. Howie was still missing the hair cream to care much about Kevin’s outburst. Nick cared A LOT.
Nick was about to burst but felt uncomfortable unless he had a tree to yell at, so he surprised everyone when he jolted out of the room, passed the living room and into the woods. It also made Nick a little confused because now, there were too many trees to yell at.
“I’m NOT confused and you know what? I LOVE it! I’m going to yell at every single one of you!” Nick said, waving his finger to all the trees within his vision.
“You want to ruin my life? Sure, go ahead, I’m used to it! But how DARE you take away my girlfriend! How dare you! And…and…in the middle of a freaking star jump!”
The rest of the guys had reached where Nick was by now and everyone was worried by Nick’s irrational behavior. Well okay, everyone except Howie, who was still mourning over the hair cream.
“Nick, come back inside buddy, and don’t talk to the trees!” AJ yelled. “That’s…insane!”
“You KNOW these trees talk AJ, you’ve heard it earlier! I’m not scared of some stupid trees. Now look, bring back my girlfriend or I will not participate in this stupid fiction plot of yours!”
Writer: Okay look, I’m NOT a tree!
If AJ was drinking, he would have spit it out. “Afraid of something that’s not even there? Crap!”
Writer: Right. You can’t see air but damn well need it to live. Same difference.
AJ was too slow to understand.
Brian scratched his head. “Um guys, I’m totally lost. Weren’t we supposed to be somewhere before we even met those girls?”
“I don’t know, I can’t think straight.” Howie grumbled.
“Look, we can’t just let these invisible writers rule us! I want my girlfriend back!”
“Nick, what is it with you and that chick? You’ve only known her for not even a day!” Kevin asked.
“Kevin, it’s called LOVE. I promised her I’d get her group a recording contract so they can open for our shows. And then we’ll get married, have babies and be the most popular celebrity couple EVER.” Nick pointed out the obvious.
Brian frowned. “But Nick, you’ve tried that TWICE, it didn’t work out well, remember?”
“This time it’s different, I knew it! And it’s all the trees’ fault!”
Writer: Okay you know what, you guys just asked for it!
Howie scratched his head but before he could say anything, something, or rather, someone, fell from one of the trees and landed gracefully on the ground. But he was anything but graceful. The axe in his hand was real enough to send fear through all of them.
“Hey, you the axe man? How about chopping down all these stupid trees for us?”
“Do I look like someone who chops trees?” The man growled.
Nick looked at the other guys. They all shrugged in unison. “Well, yeah.”
“Well I’m not.” The man smiled, his yellow teeth alone could blind Nick forever. “But I am your worst fear.”
Kevin held his right hand up and stepped in front of Nick. “Actually, my biggest fear is balding.”
“Yeah, mine is relapsing on my sobriety thing, because I’m 2 years and 7 months sober now.” AJ grinned.
“Good for you AJ.” Brian pat him on the back.
Howie stepped in, momentarily forgetting about the hair cream. “And mine is a-”
“That’s enough! I don’t care what your stupid fears are!” The man roared. “I’m the bad guy in all adventure/suspense fictions. I’m here to kill all of you!” He raised the axe above his head, aiming at Nick.
Brian immediately stepped in front of him and yelled at the man to stop. “Wait! You’re not doing it right! You have to at least chase us around the woods before you kill us! Play fair now!”
The bad guy rolled his eyes and put his axe down. “Ten seconds is all you got.”
“Okay thanks!” Brian said, ever so polite.
The guys backed away slowly, counted to three, and ran into the wilderness, never once looking back.
Howie was leading the pack, something he wasn’t sure he could do. He wished Kevin was in front of him, as always. While running aimlessly in the woods, he recalled what the writer said about them asking for it. He still couldn’t figure out which one of the guys had asked for an axe murderer.
“Guys, I found a cave!” AJ yelled at the back. It got Howie to stop long enough to turn back and find AJ.
“Cave in the woods?” Brian asked, puzzled.
“Who cares, it’s a place to hide!” Howie exclaimed, already making a run for it.
“Wait, what if there are bears?” Brian yelled. No one heard him so he made a run for it too.
Meanwhile, Nick was lagging behind and Kevin was trying to get the young man to fasten his pace.
“Quick Nick, AJ found a cave; we can rest when we get there!”
“I’m running! Go ahead, I’ll catch up!” Nick panted. Truth be told, Nick could outrun any of the guys on his good days, but he had spent his energy on star jumps earlier and his legs were beginning to cramp on him. But if given the chance to turn back time, Nick wouldn’t change anything. Doing star jumps with the love of his life Nicole was one of those precious moments in his life.
Nicole…Nick wondered where that bubbly, sexy girl disappeared to. He missed her so much that it hurt his heart to even think about it. Never mind if running for your life could have done that to his heart.
This slight distraction about his missing girlfriend caused him to miss the huge root of a gigantic tree that snaked underneath overgrown weeds and dried leaves. His left foot caught under it and caused him to fall and kiss the earth. Kevin would have been proud at his loving Mother Nature act.
His head hit a rock, which wasn’t a good thing since he already bumped it when the tire went flat back there when Nicole lost control of the truck. Speaking of Nicole, Nick missed her, SO much.
“I do believe everyone gets that by now, thanks.” Nick said.
Writer: Your attitude needs to be checked.
Everything was blurry to him. He couldn’t hear Kevin or any of the guys and the trees looked like they were falling on him, one by one. Nick also knew his head was bleeding by now and wanted nothing more than to lose consciousness, but he knew he had to get up and run.
“No, I really just want to pass out.” Nick mumbled.
Writer: No, you’re getting up and running.
“I hope you never get any nominations for this story because you’re a very mean writer!”
Nick got up but realized he couldn’t do just that. His foot was still stuck under the huge root!
“Guys! A little help!” Nick yelled. Soon after he did that, he realized he shouldn’t be yelling, the axe man could hear him.
“Damn straight.” The axe man said, jumping down from a tree in front of him.
Nick groaned. “What is it with you and trees?”
“That’s the least of your concerns Nicky. I’m going to hack you to death and there’s nothing you can do about it now! Buahahahahaha!”
“Oh yeah?” Nick yelled defiantly.
“Yeah!” The axe man yelled.
“Well, you can’t kill me!”
Now the axe man was amused. “And why not?”
“Yes?” The axe man snickered, now sharpening his axe.
“Because…um…” Nick tried to find something smart to say but he found nothing. What was stopping the axe man from hacking him into millions of pieces and feeding him off to the birds?
“Because I said so!”
Nick looked up and found Kevin now standing next to him with a gun in his hand. Nick wished Kevin had used it to break the root into pieces and free him. Another minute lying on the ground and he could die from red ants eating his butt.
The axe man stopped sharpening his axe and now looked utterly mad. “What the hell? You can’t have a gun!”
Writer: That’s right; you can’t have a gun Kevin!
The axe man was furious now. “You didn’t even know Kevin had a gun? What kind of a writer are you!”
Writer: Shut up axe man
“Yeah well, I have a gun now, and I’m not afraid to use it!”
Nick looked at the gun in Kevin’s hand. It was green in color, which in itself, was weird. There was a logo at the corner, which for now; Nick couldn’t make out what it was. He blamed this on his blurry vision still.
“I’m not afraid to use this axe too!” And with that, the axe man raised his arm and brought down the axe on Nick.
“Gaahhh!!” Nick screamed.
But the blow never come. Instead, he heard a gun laser shot. The sound reminding him so much of those PSP games. The axe man dropped his axe and fell to the ground next to Nick.
“He’s dead?” Nick asked.
“I guess so.” Kevin said. Now he aimed the gun to the root and took aim before shooting. Nick’s leg was free in matter of seconds. Kevin pulled him up and Nick almost jumped on him, giving him a hug in gratitude.
“Kevin, is that a laser gun you got there?” Nick asked.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Kevin replied. “Cool huh?”
“It is! Where did you get it?”
“I’m not sure. I mean, I just kept searching for something in my pocket and found this.”
“Well, I guess the writer has big plans for us, who knows?” Nick said.
“Maybe she didn’t want you killed…yet.”
“Maybe. But it’s still a little stupid though. I mean, what kind of story is this? All of a sudden, you had a laser gun on you? I bet they faced a block and had no other choice.”
There was lightning in the sky and then claps of thunder, signaling that a storm was about to gather. They could hear AJ, Brian and Howie yelling to them to take cover in the cave.
“Nick please, next time you feel like talking crap about the writers, don’t.”Hope you enjoyed lol i'll be back next week with a slash chapter...yes that's right I said slash and yes I sais ME as in Mare, hehehe
The One with Slash and no not that guy in Guns N Roses either…
Sitting around the fire that Kevin made from scratch, the boys huddled close to each other since the temperature outside seemed to suddenly drop to almost freezing.
“Wasn’t it a beautiful day just a few hours ago?” Brian asked scratching his head in confusion.
“Yes.” Kevin answered without even looking up from the sticks he was throwing into the flames.
“And now it’s almost freezing? I mean I see my breath.”
“Um… don’t you think that’s a little weird?”
All four boys glanced over at Rok and shook their heads but it was Howie who spoke, “Relative to what exactly? Talking trees, random axe murderers dropping from said trees or girls disappearing into thin air?”
Nick let out a sigh to which Kevin was quick to reply, “And don’t even start!”
“Okay but we had a connection you know? I hope you ladies finally get that band together and one day maybe when you suddenly reappear you can open for us.” Nick said glancing up at the cave’s ceiling.
“Why do you guys insist on talking to inanimate objects?” AJ huffed.
“Hey buddy will you come out with me and help me collect firewood?” Nick looked past him to the wall thinking that perhaps Kevin was talking to someone else behind him. Not like anyone could have been behind him but in this story that makes no sense anything was possible right? When he realized that Kevin was giving him that don’t be stupid I’m talking to you look, he responded the only way he knew how.
“Are you talking to me?”
“Don’t be stupid you know I’m talking to you! Now come on let’s go before this one burns out and we all freeze to death.”
“Shh! Kevin let’s not give the writer any ideas okay?” Brian whispered placing his hands just above the flames in hopes of warming them up.
“But I’m injured; I hurt my head twice already.”
“I can really use the help snicker doodle.”
“But I mean there are three other peo…excuse me...did you just call me snicker doodle?”
“What? No I said Nick.”
“No you didn’t you called him snicker doodle, I heard it plain as day.” AJ said tilting his head in amusement.
“You guys are hearing things…anyway are you going to help me or not?”
“Okay fine! Jeez Louise, ask the guy who is injured to help you with stupid fire wood…and if one tree talks to me so help me God!”
So the two men ventured out into the woods, the wind howling as they walked making each breath harder and harder to take. Kevin slowed his pace a bit when he realized that once again Nick was lagging behind.
“You okay my fluffernutter?”
Nick looked up, “Kevin what the hell? Your fluffernutter?”
“Why are you calling me a fluffernutter?”
“I didn’t call you a fluffernutter you called me YOUR fluffernutter just like you called me a snicker doodle before!”
“Nick you are making NO sense…unless… oh my lord is this the chapter where he gets a brain tumor?” Kevin asked the brisk night sky, who rolled its eyes and chose to ignore him.
“Since when do brisk night skies have eyes?” Before the sky could reply Nick suddenly felt his chest tighten as he began wheezing heavily.
Kevin was quick to run to his friend’s side and place his hand on the younger blonde’s back. “Relax Nick; did you bring your inhaler?”
Nick took in as big of a breath as he could manage trying to not grimace as his chest began to burn, “I…don’t…have…one…because…I don’t …have asthma.”
“I guess you do now.”
“Take it easy slow breaths in and out...in and out…yeah…that’s it….that’s what I’m talking about…in and out…in and out…ooh baby yeah…hit me harder…yeah….in and out…in and out…”
Nick stopped gasping and gave Kevin a look to which Kevin finally allowed himself to look up, “What?”
“Nothing…you’re just kind of creeping me out.”
“Sounds like you’re breathing better now.”
“Yeah it does…cool beans…so maybe we should press on…it’s cold as a witch’s teat out here.”
As Nick was about to stand Kevin placed a loving hand on his arm, “Wait a minute baby, you are cold, here put this on.” He said taking off his small jacket and wrapping it around Nick’s shoulders.
“Thanks, but what about you?”
“I’m okay…I’m just…all warm right now for some reason.”
“That’s odd.” Nick said looking at his friend quixotically.
“Nick have I ever told you, that you have the nicest eyes I have ever seen?”
“No, can’t say you have but thanks…anyhoo…maybe we should get going.”
“Yeah you’re right.” Kevin stood up and glanced down at Nick’s butt as he was walking away.
“Excuse you what?” Nick asked turning around and giving Kevin another questioning gaze.
“You didn’t hear that?”
“The brisk night sky saying that I was glancing at your butt?”
“Uh…no, but were you looking at my butt?”
“No, but it was implied I should be.”
“Okaaay then…let’s go get our firewood and get back to the cave, the rest of the guys are probably worried.”
“Okay that’s it! What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“You just called me snookums!”
It was then that Nick realized he had forgotten to thank Kevin for saving his life earlier, so he walked over to his older, muscular and gorgeous friend and embraced him in a hug.
“Was that all necessary? The whole gorgeous, muscular part?”
Once again the writer ignored them.
Nick shrugged the description off and walked over and grabbed Kevin in a hug, “Thanks for saving my life earlier man…you always come to my rescue.”
“That’s what friends do, friends who care deeply for one another.”
“Friends who would do anything for each other because of their undying devotion to one another.”
“Uh huh, I got that the first time.”
“Friends that feel…”
“Kevin, you’re babbling.”
“Sorry. I just am getting such an odd feeling, I’m so hot, I’m burning up…here hold this.” Kevin said taking off his long sleeved shirt to reveal a small black wife beater underneath. His pecks and six pack clearly defined underneath the small layer of cloth hiding his nakedness.
“You going through menopause or something?”
“Guys don’t do that Nick.” Kevin said shaking his head at his friend while he wiped the sweat off his face.
“Are you sick? Should I run for help or something?”
Kevin glanced over at Nick truly taking in his beauty for the first time. The baby face that so many girls had fallen in love with over their time together. The innocent way he stood shifting his weight from one foot to the next as he waited for his answer. Why did Kevin never notice how gorgeous Nick was before? Why didn’t he ever notice how intense his feelings were for the boy?
He felt his loins awaken…
“Okay TIME OUT! This is it I am calling a TIME OUT!” Kevin said standing there with his arms making a T.
“Ewww!” Nick said slowly backing away from Kevin.
“Hello? Anyone there? Yoohoo!!”
Writer: What is it?
“Well hallelujah finally an answer…mind telling me what the hell is going on?’
Writer: It seemed crystal clear to me
“I would NEVER say those things about Nick…that’s just SO SO SO SOOOOO wrong! And I’m a married man.”
Writer: Okay here’s the thing guys, this is what everyone loves to read! Most of your fans tend to think that the two of you would make a great couple.
“Come again?” Nick said sauntering back over towards Kevin.
“I do not saunter!” Nick said trying to walk as manly as possible towards Kevin who couldn’t help but watch Nick’s nether regions as he did.
Writer: What? I’m telling you Kevin. This is the way to go; slash is the new white meat.
“What? That made no sense.”
Writer: I know, just couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Maybe I should go back to the cave and get Howie, he’d be better for something like this!” Nick said getting ready to make a run for the cave.
“Now hang on a minute, I’m the married one. Maybe I should go get Howie and YOU should stay here.”
Writer: As much as I’m sure Howie would be thrilled to hear this discussion it’s not Howie that the readers want in this scenario, haven’t I said that before?
Kevin and Nick looked at each other than quickly looked away.
“What about Brian and AJ? I’m sure people would love to see them getting it on.”
Writer: True, but neither of them flipped me off!
“Oh so this is what it’s all about, revenge! That doesn’t seem fair!” Kevin said rather flamboyantly.
Writer: Kevin, it’s not only that but admit it, some of the things you have been wearing lately, those man Capri’s I mean seriously what is that all about? And do I have to bring up the man skirts?
At that Nick started to giggle almost uncontrollably.
“I’m glad you find this so funny Nick, or should I say my little cupcake?” Kevin said raising one eyebrow at him, loaded with sarcasm.
That made Nick stop laughing, “Oh yeah, right…well what now?”
Writer: Well now you get it on…go to it guys.
Writer: Well now is the part where you both profess your undying love to one another followed by an intense sex scene.
Writer: You have used all your time outs.
“Kevin do you have anything in your pocket to make this nightmare go away? I mean can we have the Axe murderer come back?”
Writer: Nope, once again you guys took care of him without my doing.
“So then we can stop this too right?”
Writer: starts playing porn music.
“Okay that’s enough! I do not find Nick or any other man attractive. I am not gay!”
“You don’t find me attractive? I mean I’m not gay but I think you are kind of…hot.”
“Nick, shut the hell up, this isn’t helping.”
Writer: I am telling you guys, there are full fledged Backstreet Boy fans that live for this stuff. So start riding each other like ponies in heat before this song ends okay? I only brought one song and I don’t want to have to trudge all the way home to get another one.
Kevin and Nick looked at one another once again, “Run!” Kevin said grabbing Nick’s hand in his own and skipping back towards the caves like the girly men they were.
“Hey!” Nick said stopping to further argue with the night sky only to be dragged forward by Kevin.
“Nick hush that’s what she wants!”
They made it to the cave and stopped short before walking inside, “Okay Nick, whatever it was that just happened out here stays out here. We are never going to speak of it again.”
“I’m confused about everything but you got that damn right!”
The two men took in a few soothing breaths before entering the cave where they heard the other three singing campfire songs. Upon their arrival Brian walked over, “Where’s the firewood?”
“Oh…the wood, yeah me and Kevin couldn’t find any.”
Brian looked suspicious, “You couldn’t find any wood in the woods?”
Kevin shook his head at Nick, “It was too cold so we came back. Nick had an asthma attack.”
Now AJ joined in the questioning, “If it was so cold out there where is your shirt Kevin? And Nick doesn’t have asthma.”
Kevin and Nick glanced at each other not knowing what to say next as the other three looked at the two of them amused.
“So nothing happened while we were gone right?”
Howie shook his head at Kevin, “Nope everything was totally fine although I have a feeling with the two of you it’s a different story.”
Nick let out a nervous laugh, “Right…like what could have possibly happened with us? Maybe the two of us hooking up or something? Hahahaha that would be ridiculous.”
Everyone gave Nick a look and Kevin placed his hands on his face just as all the lights in the cave went out.
“Excuse me? There are no lights in the cave…it’s like…a cave!”
Writer: Oh fine AJ, that’s when all of the sudden the fire unexpectedly burnt out leaving all the boys in the dark. Nick and Kevin finding comfort in each other’s arms…
“Stop that!” They both yelled in unison.
“Dudes I SO do NOT want to know…” AJ said as they sat and patiently waited for the next thing to happen.Hope you enjoyed that! lol And as always thanks for the feedback! Next Friday Just Marina shall return with a sci fi chapter ;o)
Is it a rocket? Is it a star? It’s my hand dumbass!
~The Sci fi Chapter by (Just)Marina~
Kevin bravely took control of the situation.
“Brian, go to the window, check what’s going on out there.”
“Okay!” Brian replied following the command but stopped abruptly and looked to Kevin, noticing that they weren’t in the dark anymore.
“The window?” he asked. “This is a cave. Caves don’t have windows.”
“Well, this one apparently has a lot.” AJ pointed over Brian’s shoulder.
Brian looked around realizing the place they were in didn’t look like a cave anymore. This place was full of colorful, almost blinding, lights.
“Brian, I gave you an order.” Kevin’s strong voice echoed like thunder around the room.
“Yes sir,” Brian saluted his cousin and turned around to walk to the window but stopped once again. “Yes sir? Yes sir? What the heck!”
“We are losing power, captain,” Howie said from his place in front of the control panel. “Since when do caves have control panels?” Howie asked the ceiling of the ship.
“The ship? We are in a ship?” Brian was mesmerized.
“Cool!” Nick yelled.
“And who the hell is this captain I’m talking to?” Howie stood up not even remembering having taken a seat there.
“Probably me,” AJ replied noticing he wasn’t wearing the same clothes anymore but something that looked like a military uniform.
“Oh my god!” Brian yelled at the same time trying to hug the wall “We are in outer space. I think I’m getting sick.” At his side, Nick found a helmet and was playing with it.
“Brian calm down,” Kevin said. “You are an expert pilot, you don’t get sick flying.”
“I’m not an expert pilot.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Kevin, I think I would remember something like that…oh wait….Cool!” He said smiling releasing the wall and walking to the center of the room. “Wow, I think I’m pretty good, and some kind of hero.”
“We all are.” Howie added doubting it for a second.
“Isn’t it weird that we have all these memories of aliens and spaceships now?”
“Tell me about it,” Kevin replied. “But at the same time I’m so relieved that the last chapter didn’t come with the memories.”
“Why?” Brian asked.
“You wouldn’t get it.” He looked at Nick who dropped the helmet to the floor nervously.
“Be careful Nick” AJ scolded him. “That’s a flight-control helmet, those are expensive….aren’t they?” He stopped for a minute “What the hell is a flight-control helmet?” he whispered just to give a shrug of indifference a second later as he kept checking his uniform. “Hey guys have you noticed all the cool things these uniforms have? Look, I have a gun.”
“Hey, it looks like the one you used on that axe man Kevin.”
“Yes it does.” Kevin was checking his own gun. “Mine looks bigger now but is still nice.”
“And look at this belt” AJ continued. “It’s full of pockets with really interesting things, some of them I really have no idea what they are for, but they all look cool,” he said taking out a small silver sphere from one of the pockets.
“What’s that silver ball?” Nick came close to him.
“No idea.” AJ put it back in the pocket while Nick decided to check his own uniform.
“Hey I got one too,” he said showing his little sphere to AJ, but AJ wasn’t paying attention to him, having just pulled out a long object from the front pocket of his jacket.
“What the heck?” Everyone looked at AJ and noticed the familiar shape of the object in his hands “Why the hell do I have a dildo in my pocket? Okay this isn’t mine.” AJ threw it to Nick who caught it in the air.
“Why the hell are you giving it to me?”
“Whatever it is, that’s probably yours Kaos.”
Everyone was staring now at Nick and Kevin who happened to just be standing next to each other.
“Why are you looking at me?” Kevin asked.
AJ just shrugged and smiled while Brian and Howie shook their heads.
“Idiots” Kevin murmured taking a couple of steps back to get away from Nick.
“Hey!” Nick said when a light came out from the dildo-shaped object. “Dumbass it is a sword, a light sword.”
“You mean like a Jedi one?”
“Well, it still has the strangest handle ever, so I don’t want it,” the tattooed man replied putting on some shades that he had also found in one of his pockets.
“I’ll keep it. I like it.”
“Figures.” AJ laughed.
“Would you stop with the insinuations, it’s not funny anymore.”
“Sorry bro. You know I’m kidding. Okay give me the sword.”
“No, it’s mine now.”
“Nick, there’s a reason why you didn’t have one to begin with.”
“Yes, the reason is that there’s a crazy jackass writing this story.”
“Nick, don’t say jackass to a lady.” Kevin reprimanded him.
“A lady? Why are you defending her? You gave ‘the lady’ the finger, remember?”
“Well that’s when I thought she was a tree.”
“Either way, are we sure it’s a girl?” Brian asked looking at the ceiling “I have noticed she changes her voice a lot, maybe it’s a guy trying to sound like a girl.”
“Do you know many guys write Backstreet fan fiction Brian?” Nick asked.
“I don’t know anyone who writes Backstreet fan fiction.”
“Well I thought we have already agreed they were different writers.” Nick continued.
“You mean like a collaboration?” AJ jumped into the conversation. “That explains all the stupid ideas and changes of genre. They can’t even reach an agreement.”
“Yes they suck. Especially whoever is writing this part. Jackass!” Nick yelled to the ceiling.
Writer: That’s it! No reason to insult me blondie, you better watch your words or I’ll make you meet the Howl crawlers sooner that I have planned it.”
“Great Nick. I don’t want to meet any Howl crawlers.” Howie elbowed him.
“I don’t even want to know what a Howl crawler is.” Brian added when suddenly the ship got hit by something and the explosion that followed the crash made them fall to the floor.
“Too late” AJ replied trying to get up but another hard shake from the ship stopped him. “Shit!”
“Okay everyone to their positions,” Kevin managed to reach the captain’s seat and take control of the ship.
AJ took the seat at his side. “We were hit cap… cap… okay there’s no way in hell I’ll call Kevin captain so stop trying!” AJ shouted to the ceiling. The rest of the guys were already in their seats.
“We need to make an emergency landing.” Kevin continued, ignoring AJ. “Nick put the RP3 system in full rotation and clear the range path for the stabilizers.”
“Done… I think.”
“Howie, full emergency speed, and don’t forget to check the attitude inertial reference unit.”
“Brian…Brian?” Kevin said noticing Brian’s seat was empty and turning around just to find Brian hugging the table in the middle of the room. “What the hell are you doing there?”
“I don’t care what kind of memories or experiences they put in my mind. I’m not flying this thing.” Kevin sighed and shook his head and went back to concentrate on the controls of the ship.
“AJ they are still behind us. You have to launch the missiles.”
“I just did it and I missed.”
“Damn! Then little planet in the middle of nowhere, here we go.”
“Did you say something Howie?”
“Gesundheit?” AJ replied.
“I didn’t sneeze. I said that the planet’s name is Alfpron, according to my navigation maps.”
“Okay, then Alfpron here we come. Everybody fasten your seatbelts.”
“Hey I don’t have a seatbelt here” Brian panicked.
“Then hug your table Rok”
The landing was extremely dangerous. They hit land so hard that some apparatus and systems stopped working and for a moment it looked like they weren’t going to survive the impact, but thanks to Kevin and Howie’s amazing pilot skills the ship was finally stabilized.
“Are we alive?” Brian asked opening his eyes.
“Yes we are Brian and we need to leave the ship. We are a clear target here.”
“Everybody take their emergency backpacks.” AJ said already adjusting one to his back and walking to the gate of the ship. “You know, this could be the chapter were our bus breaks down and we get lost in the woods, except instead of a bus we have a spaceship and instead of the woods….” The gate opened revealing nothing more than sand surrounding them “the fuckin’ alien Sahara desert.” He took a deep breath. “Shit and I didn’t bring my sunscreen.”
“Lets go” Kevin passed him by taking the lead of the group.
“Man this place is hot. I want to go back to Earth.” Brian complained taking off his jacket and running to catch the others guys when he noticed they had left him behind.
Our heroes hadn’t walked more than 10 minutes when a bright light illuminated the horizon.
“Nick would you stop giggling every time she call us heroes.”
“Sorry but it’s funny. And what did she say about a bright light? Everything is already lit.”
“I think she is referring to that line over there.” Brian took Nick’s face in his hands and made him look to the right pointing to a silver line in the sky.
“Oh, okay I get it, but you have to accept it wasn’t the best description, considering this place is so damn bright. Does this place have two suns or something like that?”
“Yes.” AJ replied pointing to his left where Nick saw a second sun.
“Okay that was done before. Tatooine has two suns.”
“Yes I noticed that.” AJ smiled.
“What is Tatooine?” Howie asked.
“Anakin and Luke Skywalker’s planet, Howie.”
“Everybody knows that. Another planet with two suns is lame. This writer has no imagination; she is stealing George Lucas ideas.”
“Shh Nick. Don’t make her mad again, I don’t’ want to see those… What did she call them? Brian asked nobody in particular. “Night crawlers?”
“Would you stop chatting and walk faster?!” Kevin ordered them from his place in front of the group. “In case you didn’t notice that silver line in the sky was made by a Howl crawler ship landing. They are following us now and they have land vehicles so we need to reach the mountains before they track us.”
“Why don’t we have a land vehicle, aren’t we rich?” Nick rolled his eyes at his own comment. “Okay I’m really not that dumb this writer hates me and is giving me the most stupid lines.”
“Yeah right Nick.” Brian patted him on the back.
They kept walking faster and once they were about to get into the rocky side of the planet, just on the base of the mountains, they noticed a vehicle approaching them.
“That vehicle is tiny. I don’t think there are many Howl crawlers inside.” AJ pointed out shielding his eyes from the suns with his left hand.
“Maybe the Howl crawlers are all Howie-size.”
“Ha ha Nick” Howie rolled his eyes.
“You think we should fight?” Kevin asked AJ, giving Nick a threatening look at the same time, a look that would tell Nick to stop joking around.
“Well, we are five and we are armed.” AJ replied.
“Yes, I guess you are right, but better climb a little, those rocks will give us an advantageous position.”
They had just begun to climb the mountain when the shots started.
They all jumped behind the big rocks trying to protect themselves from the lasers.
“Nick, are you okay?” Kevin yelled since he had lost sight of his little brother.
“I am.” Came Nick’s reply. “And I think I could hit them from here. I have their vehicle right in my sight. We won’t have a better opportunity.”
“Great, then do it.”
Nick only needed one shot and the land vehicle blew up in the air.
“Wow! That was great bro.”
“Great shot Nick.” AJ said taking off his glasses to take a better look at the destroyed vehicle. Brian stood up shaking off the dirt from his clothes, he and Howie had literally dived in the sand behind some rocks when the shots first started and they were now covered in the yellowish soil. They put off their guns and were on their way to Nick when they heard the distinctive sound of guns getting ready to shoot.
“Drop your weapons!” someone yelled.
They all turned around to find 20 Howl crawler soldiers behind them. A creepy laugh emerged from the group sending shivers down the boys’ spines. A couple of soldiers took a step to their sides and in front of them appeared the dark figure of Lord Nohajevian
“Darth Vader!” Nick exclaimed.
Writer: That’s not Darth Vader, that’s Lord Nohajevian.
Nick: That’s Darth Vader. The black suit, the helmet. You are not very original, are you?
Writer: That’s Lord Nohajevian. Are you accusing me of ripping off someone else’s story? I’m not even a Star Wars fan.
“Well, that’s Darth Vader.”
Writer: That’s not Darth Vader!!!
“Okay he isn’t Darth Vader; he is his long lost twin brother Varth Daver”
Writer: You….you….ugh! Now you will see.
Lord Nohajevian took a step closer and looking at Nick raising his hand.
“Let me guess? He is choking me to death with his telepathic powers?”
“Nick, shut up!” Kevin hit him on the head.
“You are coming with me kid” Lord Nohajevian told Nick. “You will come with me or your friends will die.”
“He isn’t going anywhere.” Brian said defiantly putting a hand in front of Nick in a defensive gesture. Kevin’s hand was over his gun holster.
“Don’t even try it boy. I’m faster than you. And didn’t I tell you to drop all your weapons?”
“Yes, Kevin don’t try anything stupid.” Nick released himself from Brian and stood beside Kevin. “He was faster than Han Solo and Han Solo is like the fastest shot ever. You won’t have a chance.”
Writer: He is not Darth Vader!
Nick rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
“You are not taking him with you.” Kevin ignored Nick’s words. “You will have to kill us first.”
“Kevin, don’t play hero, okay? Kaos got himself into this situation.”
“Thanks AJ, I love you too bro.”
“Who made you fight with the writer? Didn’t you learn anything from the previous chapters? She can make us go through hell here, bro.”
“Sorry, but I hate to see her stealing ideas from one of my favorite movies ever. You love Star Wars too, doesn’t it annoy you too?”
“Sometimes I worry about you Nick” AJ shook his head
“Okay kid come with me.” Lord Nohajevian kept insisting after taking Kevin’s gun away from him.
“You are not taking him.” Brian’s voice sounded stronger than ever. “Why do you want him anyway, are you some kind of pervert?
“Eeeeekkk!” Nick tried to hide himself behind Howie. “Why is that all the maniacs and perverts are always after me?”
“I’m not a pervert. You know what I want. I want the key to Lunia’s treasure and the kid has it.”
“Nick?” Kevin raised his eyebrows at the kid.
“Why are you all looking at me? I don’t have any key.”
“Are you sure?”
“What do you think I am? A kleptomaniac? I would remember if I had some key.”
“When did you learn what kleptomaniac means?”
“Okay, you are making me lose my patience.” Lord Nohajevian pointed his gun at Brian “So either he comes with me or you all die.”
“Okay I’m going.” Nick walked to Lord Nohajevian. “Even if I have no idea what key you are talking about.”
“Good. Tie him up” Lord Nohajevian ordered to a soldier and once they had tied Nick’s hands he added. “Now kill them all!”
“What? No!” Nick yelled “You promised.”
“Yes, and I’m the bad guy. Don’t you know anything about bad guys? We don’t keep our promises.”
“Nick. Down!” Kevin suddenly shouted and Nick, without hesitation, threw himself immediately on the ground.
In a matter of seconds Brian, Howie, AJ and Kevin managed to shoot all the bad guys including Lord Nohajevian.
“Wow! That was great!” Nick stood up. “But where did you get the laser guns? I thought they had taken all our weapons away.”
“We all had guns hidden in the sleeves of ours jackets, they have some kind of mechanism attached to our arms that makes the laser jump right into your hand like in action movies.” AJ explained showing Nick his.
“Cool! Hey look, I have one too!” Nick said playing with his hidden laser. “But how did you find it at the same time?”
“AJ told us.” Kevin replied.
“He did it? How?”
“Yes he did, it looks like we all have telepathic powers.” Kevin said to Nick without opening his mouth.
“Wow. You just…? Wow! Hey, wait a minute, so you can read my thoughts, that isn’t right, isn’t that like ….” He stopped talking for a second and started to laugh. “Okay who is thinking about porn?”
“AJ!” Brian yelled.
“I needed something to relax myself guys, that was a pretty scary situation right there.” AJ laughed too.
“Yes, it was, poor Darth Vader is dead.” Nick gave a last glance to Lord Nohajevian’s body.
Writer: He is not Darth Vader!
“Nick, why don’t you just keep your mouth shut?” Brian scolded him. “And AJ stop with the porn!”
“Wow” Nick said closing his eyes and tilting his head to one side. “I have never tried that." Hope you enjoyed! Mersey will be back next week with the visual chapter hehehe
12 Inches Full of Confusion
(aka The Visual Chapter)
When Nick opened his eyes, the grin still intact on his face, he found himself in a strange room. The walls are painted deep red, there were scented candles lit everywhere. The bed was made of dark rosewood with four pointed poles (I’m not sure how to describe it, lmao). The bedspread was of black silk with blood red rose petals strewn everywhere. That in itself felt inviting. But he knew something was terribly wrong with this picture.
“Guys?” He called out. Turning around, he noticed that the room was heavily draped in black curtains. He also noticed that he was no longer wearing a uniform, in fact, it had turned into a silky gray button up shirt and black pants. He was barefoot and his hair, even though a little spiky, felt like he had just had a shower. Everything just felt so comfortable, it almost lulled him to sleep.
“Wait a minute, is this a vi-”
He felt a pair of hands hugging him from the back, encompassing his waist. Before he could even turn around, he felt her chin resting on his shoulder, her warm breath sending chills on his neck. He felt her body pressed against his, as if their curves were meant to complete a puzzle.
“Make love to me.” She whispered, before nibbling on his earlobe and then proceeded to kiss the length of his neck. He felt her fingers now brushing through his damp hair, giving it a little massage.
He knew then that this was too good to be true.
It was late into the night when Nick woke up with that sudden urge of excitement. Everyone was asleep, at least he hoped they were, because there was no way in hell he could put this on hold any longer and he surely didn’t want to be caught doing it, especially not in a spaceship where you can’t just up and leave them for a few days and let the matter die down on its own.
Realizing he couldn’t walk out of the room without hiding his ‘problem’, he grabbed his pillow to hide the bulge. Praying one last time that no one heard him and ruined his plans and worst, to be caught in the situation he was currently in.
Tip toeing his way out of the room, he made a beeline to the bathroom, which was thankfully, spacious enough for him. He’d rather do it in the living room and especially while watching something good on television, he found that to be more relaxing and enjoyable at the same time, but this had to do. This also made him missed home. Back there, if he was lucky enough, he might end up bringing a girl home and instead of doing this on his own, he could have just sit back and watch her do it for him. It always feel better anyway.
Locking the bathroom as quietly as he possibly could, he dumped the pillow to the side, and quickly stripped off his pants. The sight of the bulge brought a huge grin to his face. How long had he not done this? It should be a crime. He was a healthy 25 year old man with needs, but the guys always thought he needed to learn some self-control. He figured it wasn’t his fault that he grew up too close with AJ.
Almost too excitedly, he pulled all 12 inches of it out and put his hand firmly around it. He must have been too excited because he realized now he had spilled some, and his pants was wet. He knew he had a lot of explaining to do if someone woke up and found him exiting the bathroom with a wet pants. And bringing a pillow into the bathroom doesn’t help either.
He brushed those thoughts aside, knowing he had to do this first.
“Nick, you in there?”
Nick rolled his eyes. He knew this was coming. He looked up to the ceiling, furious as ever. “You just HAVE to do that, don’t you?”
Writer: Do what?
“Nick? Are you talking to yourself?”
“Can’t a person do his business without being interrupted?” Nick yelled.
“I need to use the bathroom!” Kevin yelled. “And who’s there with you? I heard you talking!”
“You’re hearing things Kevin, I talked to no one!”
Writer: Yeah right.
Now it was Kevin’s turn to look up at the ceiling. “What’s going on?”
Brian appeared from the bedroom, yawning and scratching his head. “Hey, what’s going on?”
Kevin looked annoyed. “How would I know? Nick’s in the bathroom talking to someone and he refused to come out. I really need to pee.”
Nick was panicking. How would he explain himself? He had to get rid of his problem first and think of something else for the pillow and his wet pants. But he knew he couldn’t do it with Kevin and Brian talking just right outside the bathroom door.
“Not to mention you.”
Writer: Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Please, don’t let me stop you.
“I can’t do it while you’re watching.”
“Nick, do you have some chick in there with you?” Brian knocked.
“You know I don’t Brian! Now can I get some privacy please?”
Writer: But you definitely have no problems watching while someone else do it.
“That is totally different okay?”
Meanwhile, Howie and AJ had woken up from all the drama that went on outside.
“Actually, I’m all for sleep.” Howie said.
Writer: Well, too bad then.
“Hey, what’s going on out here? It’s freaking late at night, can’t we just go back to sleep?” AJ said.
“Nick’s in there talking to someone.” Brian said.
AJ frowned. “Wait a minute…there’s no one else in this ship except us five.”
“We were also in a cave before we suddenly became some kind of space heroes.” Kevin pointed out.
Now AJ was grinning. He went for the bathroom and started knocking on the door. “Yo Nick, you got a chick in there with you?”
Now Nick was sitting on lid of the toilet bowl with his head on his heads. All he wanted was some privacy.
“Why the heck are you guys hogging his space?” AJ asked. “Let the kid do what he gotta do, jeez guys. You know it’s been awhile since he got some!”
“It’s nice to know you’re talking about me out there!” Nick yelled.
“No problem bro.” AJ replied.
Nick rolled his eyes. “Great.”
“Come on Nick, if there’s suddenly a girl in the bathroom with you, chances are, she’s bad.” Kevin said.
“And why is that so Kevin?” Nick groaned.
“Because you know we’re trapped in some weird fanfic with a writer with all sorts of weird sense.” Brian explained.
Writer: Brian, you’re about *this* close to become extinct.
Howie walked a little closer to where everyone was. “Unwillingly too, if I may add.”
Writer: No you can’t add.
Howie walked closer, clearly annoyed that he was awoken from his beauty sleep for something as trivial as this.
“Nick, Kevin has a point. For all we know, the chick you’re with is an undercover alien.” Howie said.
“Is that you Howie?” Nick called from inside.
“Okay, don’t come any closer Howie! Stay where you are!” Nick said, starting to panic. Kevin, Brian and AJ, he could handle, but definitely not Howie. Especially not in this situation!
But Howie just moved closer, now more curious than he had been. Once he was close enough, his sleepy eyes suddenly almost pop out of his sockets.
“Well hell, Nick, I can’t believe you!” Howie yelled.
Kevin frowned. “Hey, relax D, it’s not his fault he ended up in a bathroom with an alien.”
“He’s NOT in there with some chick!” Howie frowned. “Nickolas Gene Carter, you have a 12 inch of-”
“Whoa Howard censor!” Brian cut in. “We really don’t need to know all that!” Brian said and then immediately turned back to face the door. “12 inch Nick? Damn!”
“Must be some kind of dream you got going on there bro.” AJ added.
“What kind of dream did you put my brother into?” Kevin asked the ceiling. Since ceiling don’t talk, Kevin found his question left unanswered.
“Can you please not interrupt me?” Howie groaned. “I was going to say, Nick had all 12 inch of Subway’s Tuna sandwich with him in there and he’s going to eat it all by himself! I know a Subway’s 12 inch Tuna sandwich when I smell one!”
Nick stared at the sandwich still firmly gripped in his hands. “I guess we’re never meant to be, you and I.”
“Okay that’s it! You get out from there Nick Carter! I need to pee and after that, you and I are gonna have a long talk!”
“This is all your fault!” Nick stared at the ceiling. “You made me hold this sandwich only to take it away from me! You’re mean!”
Writer: It’s suppose to be a visual, but whatever.
“Fine, I’m coming out!” Nick yelled. He was about to unlock the door when the entire spaceship trembled and shook uncontrollably. He felt as if he was sucked by a giant vacuum. His head hit the ceiling and before he could fathom what was going on, his body was slammed against the porcelain sink.
“WE’RE CRASHING!” Howie yelled.
Nick desperately tried to get out of the bathroom but the door was jammed. He tried holding on to the sink as everyone else started screaming out there. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable. Hope you enjoyed! Mare will be back next Friday with the adventure chapter! Til then as always thanks for the awesome reviews!
And one two three….Action!
They all laid on the floor of the umm…spaceship, the crash temporarily knocking them out. It was AJ who opened his eyes first, his back and head ached and his legs were stiff. Sitting up slowly he looked around not knowing where he was. He seemed to be lying in the middle of a flower patch.
“I was what now?”
At first he thought he was all alone, and then he remembered that all the guys were with him at the time of the bus crash.
“I thought it was a spaceship”
Writer: Yeah, I changed my mind…so shoot me!
“But the bus crash thing is so overdone don’t you think?”
Suddenly a coconut fell from a tree and hit AJ over the head knocking him out again because he was ruining this writer’s flow.
“What the hell? A coconut? That makes next to no sense...ouch!” AJ said rubbing his head then falling to the ground unconscious.
It was Howie who woke up first, Howie the non argumentative and easy going Backstreet Boy. He slowly opened his eyes, his body achy and he had a dull throb in the back of his head, which he rubbed as he sat up.
“Where am I?” He asked himself allowing his eyes to adjust to the daylight. The last thing he remembered was smelling a tuna sandwich, that thought suddenly had his stomach grumbling.
“I’m hungry and confused.” He said before seeing Brian lying further down the field.
“Oh my God Brian!!” He said standing up and trying to steady himself before taking off down the small hill to his friend.
When Brian heard his name he slowly opened his eyes, quickly closing them again when he saw two of everything. He felt a hand on his head, “Brian can you hear me buddy? It’s Howie.”
“D? What happened?” He asked now opening his eyes once again and this time, with the aide of Howie, sitting up.
“I wish I knew, I think we had some kind of crash.”
“Crash? Where’s our car? Weren’t we in a car?”
“I don’t remember.”
“I thought we were in a spaceship.” They both looked over at Kevin who was slowly walking up hill rubbing the back of his head as he made his way over to the other boys. His small limp signaled that he had hurt his foot on the impact.
“I think so, I mean at least I think so or this is some crazy ass dream! Are you both all right?” He asked looking Howie and Brian up and down to make sure everything was okay with them.
“Yeah we’re good…” Brian stopped when he heard a groan coming from the flower patch across the field.
“AJ!” They all said in unison as they slowly made their way to their friend who was waking up with no memory of waking up before.
“I remember everything thank you very much.”
Writer: Do I need another coconut to fall on you?”
“Where did the coconut even fall from there’s not even a single tree anywhere around here.”
“AJ are you okay?” Kevin asked kneeling down to look his younger friend over.
“Yeah Kev, I think so…how is everyone else?”
“We’re okay…J you have a nasty bruise on your forehead there.”
“It’s from the coconut.”
“What coconut?” Kevin asked looking at his friend as if he had five heads.
“Never mind…where’s Nick?”
The four boys looked at each other…that was a good question, where was Nick? They looked all around the field and even went back up the hill but there was no sign of the youngest Backstreet Boy anywhere.
“Guys he has to be here somewhere, I mean he couldn’t just disappear into thin air could he?” Brian asked the other three who shrugged at him.
“Brian, it seems like anything can happen, I mean I was hit in the head with a coconut that fell from the magical sky” AJ put his hands up in quotation marks when he said the word magical to further add to the tinge of sarcasm in his voice.
Writer: Enough about the coconut!
Kevin looked up at the sky, “You!!” He said pointing up, “Where is Nick? What have you done to him?”
“Yeah give him back to us!” Brian said standing behind his cousin.
“Look a bear!” Howie said pointing over the horizon at a huge grisly bear charging at them ferociously.
“Wow that was random!” AJ said looking up at the sky and rolling his eyes.
“Run!” Kevin said, pulling AJ by his shirt to get him to move faster.
The bear was gaining on them very quickly now, his growling almost freezing the boys in their tracks. It swiped at Howie barely missing his head by inches. He could smell the raw meat it had earlier for breakfast as he ran. It smelled rancid like whatever it was had died a horrible, ugly death.
“Well there goes my appetite,” Howie said trying to control his urge to vomit.
The thing was getting closer and angrier as it just kept missing Howie’s head.
“Why my head?”
“Howie shut up and run!” AJ said. He was ahead of everyone now flying through the thick grass and jumping over fallen logs in his way. “I see a cave!” He pointed at a small opening at the end of the clearing, “He’ll never be able to fit in there let’s go!!”
The boys took off towards the cave with Kevin quickly catching up to and then bypassing AJ as the bear still growled behind them as they ran. When they got closer to the cave a burst of lightening shot across the sky accompanied by a boom of thunder so fierce the boys almost fell to the ground.
“Great...just great!! What else can possibly happen to us?” Kevin shouted up as he approached the mouth of the cave. Just as he said that large droplets of rain fell on them.
“I had to ask…”
Kevin stopped momentarily before entering the cave, it was dark and he was afraid of what might be inside.
“Keep running ….keep running, why did you stop running?” AJ chanted as he caught up with Kevin.
“Because we don’t really know what’s in there AJ.”
“No we don’t but we know there’s a huge ass bear out here that will eat us Kevin!”
“Okay good point! But let me go first.”
“Pffft! Like I’d want to go in there first.”
Now Brian and finally Howie, caught up to the other two guys and they all dove into the cave just as the bear lunged at them. He growled at the cave and tried to bang his way into it but fortunately after a few minutes he gave up and walked away.
As they lay in the dark, cold cave trying to slow their heartbeats, Brian finally was the first one to speak, “What the hell was that all about?”
“Good question Rok.” AJ said poking his head out of the cave to see if the bear was gone.
“And lookie we’re back in a cave. Yeah rah!” Kevin said standing up and trying to find something to light the cave with.
“I would still like to know why the bear kept almost eating MY head.” Howie asked the ceiling of the cave.
“I think we should get out of here and go look for Nick before it gets dark.”
“But it’s pouring outside right now and besides we don’t know how far away that thing is.” Kevin answered Brian upon returning with some sticks for firewood.
“Guys you don’t think that the bear…kind of sort of like….ate him do you?”
The boys all looked over at Howie who continued, “I mean we can’t find him anywhere and well he did piss the writer off a bunch.”
“No way! You wouldn’t do that would you?” Kevin asked once again looking up.
Writer: As much as it would have pleased me to do that there is no way I’d kill off Nick, he’s too important and besides it’s only chapter 7.
“Why is Nick so important?” AJ pouted.
Writer: Well he’s the most popular guy in fan fiction, too important to be eaten. Now Howie on the other hand….
“I think I may cry.” Howie said which had AJ go and hug him.
“So if the bear…which I think was a dumb idea to begin with by the way…I mean a BEAR? You could have been a little more original… Anyway, if he wasn’t eaten then where is he? Is he hurt?” Kevin was annoyed and was about to continue his rant when suddenly off in the distance all four boys heard a faint cry for help. It was very faint and distant and was definitely coming from outside of the cave. They all looked up and then said “Nick” at the same time.
“Okay guys I know it’s raining and there is a huge grisly bear out there but we have to go find Nick.” Kevin took the lead once more as he slowly ventured out of the cave. When there was no sign of the bear anywhere, he motioned for the rest of the guys to join him outside.
“elp.” They heard very weakly.
“Nick! Is that you?” Kevin asked walking closer to the sound of distress. Another loud boom of thunder clapped followed by a zigzag of lightening.
As they made their way up the steep hill…
“Wow there sure are a lot of hills in this chapter. We have walked up a hill and down a hill and up another hill and down…”
Writer: Are you finished Brian?
“Nope…and now up again. There now I’m finished.”
As the boys made their way up a very very VERY steep hill…
They had a hard time keeping their balance. The rain was making the rocks beneath their feet very slippery and quite a few times they almost lost their footing. Kevin was maintaining the lead, carefully using his hands to help him anchor the rocks more successfully.
“Nicky! Can you hear me?” He asked once he reached the top.
“Kevin…is that you? Help me please…I’m trapped.”
That got Kevin moving a little faster as he managed to finally look down and see his young friend lying at the bottom of the cliff under a few rocks as a duck paced back and forth beside him.
Writer: Yes Kevin a duck.
“A pacing duck?”
While Kevin pondered about ducks his poor friend was grimacing in pain…
“Fine okay, I’ll drop the duck thing.”
“Kevin help me!”
“Hang on, I’m coming little man.” He turned to the other three guys who had joined him at the top of the hill.
“Is he okay?” AJ asked trying to get a good view of Nick but the rain pounding down onto the ground was making it next to impossible.
“For now, but we have to get him out of there. I need to find a way to get down to him, anyone have any ideas?”
“Well we can use our belts and socks to make a kind of sort of rope type thing?”
“Howie that was a brilliant idea.”
“Thanks, I saw it on an episode of the Brady Bunch once.”
“Hang on Nick I’m coming down buddy.”
“Kay…but Kevin be careful of the duck.”
AJ leaned into Brian, “Did he just say be careful of the duck?”
“Oh my God, you need to hurry up cousin; I think he may be hallucinating.”
Kevin looked over at his cousin and shook his head, afraid to mention the duck, he motioned for the boys to hurry and take off their belts and socks.
*starts porn music*
“Hey!” Kevin said looking up into the air.
Writer: Kidding….please continue.
Soon Kevin managed to make a long rope entwining socks and belts. It didn’t exactly look sturdy but he hoped it would be good enough.
“Okay Brian go tie this end to that tree over there and make sure it’s sturdy…Nicky I’m coming.”
“Hurry…the duck looks mad.”
What the fu…I mean okay I’ll hurry.” Kevin wisely said.
Howie came running back towards the boys, “Okay I tied it to the tree.”
Kevin nodded and flung the other end of the rope down the hill, “You guys are going to have to pull us up once I get him okay?”
“Okay just be careful Kevin.”
Kevin grabbed the rope and slowly made his way down the steep hill. “Careful Kev…” He heard his cousin say when he got about half way down. It wasn’t that hard, not as hard as he thought it would be so he managed to get down to the bottom rather quickly. The rope wasn’t long enough so he had to jump about 3 feet from the bottom, and in so doing he landed on his back and rolled right to Nick.
“Hey there I thought I’d drop in and see if you needed anything.”
Nick tried to smile but the pain running up his back and his head hurt too much, “I’m glad you found me.”
Kevin walked closer to Nick now and crouched down beside him, “Me too buddy although I have no idea how you got here. I mean we were way over that way…” Kevin said standing up and pointing westward. “That must have been some horrible crash…”
“Can you get these rocks off me Kev, and try not to move too quickly,” Nick motioned over to the duck that seemed to be watching the two men carefully.
“It’s just a duck Nick.”
“It’s mean Kev, just don’t move to quickly.”
“Okay buddy whatever you say…” He placed a hand on Nick’s forehead to make sure he didn’t have a fever and then slowly moved away the rocks that were restricting his movement.
“How’s it going down there?” Howie called from the top of the hill.
“We’re doing okay we’re almost ready for you to hoist us up,” He said as he grabbed Nick in his arms and tried helping him stand. This agitated the duck which moved closer and started ferociously quacking at them.
“Okay hold up a minute…I’ve been patient, I didn’t say anything when out of nowhere a bear came to chase us and I kept my mouth shut when we ended up finding Nick in a completely out there location too far away for him to have just fallen here, but the ferocious duck? Come on now…give me a break.”
“Uh…Kev maybe you should just…”
“No Nick, let me finish, I mean this has got to be the stupidest chapter you have written so far don’t you think?”
“Kev...I really think you should…”
“I mean I understand that action is kind of like that. One wrong move and something good can turn stupid but a duck? I mean…OW…AHHHH!” Kevin stopped mid sentence when the duck bit his ass. He jumped and once again Nick fell to the ground, grunting as he did.
“QUACK QUACK QUACK!” The duck growled as he kept pecking at Kevin. Who tried kicking at it to get it to stop.
The sudden screaming and commotion alarmed the other Backstreet Boys who were waiting for the all clear to hoist Nick and Kevin back up the hill.
“What’s going on down there? Is that a duck attacking Kevin?” Howie asked AJ who seemed amused by the entire scene.
“Why yes I do think that’s a duck.”
“AHHH get this thing off of me!” Kevin howled as the duck continued biting at his butt and his legs.
“He thinks I’m his mommy.” Nick said trying to sit himself up.
“Well then do something dammit! Do ducks carry rabies?”
“Quack quack quack.” Nick said in a baby duck voice which had the duck stop mid bite and waddle over to Nick.
It calmly lay down next to him giving Kevin a look.
“Guys what the hell is going on down there?” Brian asked ready to climb down the rope himself.
“Wait, you need to stay to hoist us up.”
“Kevin that is a retarded idea, I mean this isn’t a hole. Why can’t we all just come down and then keep going?”
“Okay good point, guys come down here.” He yelled up to the other guys who made their way down the rope.
“Slow and steady guys we don’t want him to attack anyone else.”
“Are you okay cousin?” Brian asked slowly making his way toward Kevin as he bled from all the duck bites.
“Do ducks even have teeth?” Brian asked looking up at the sky.
Writer: You know… I have no idea.
“Well can I make a suggestion then?”
“Just quit while you’re ahead I mean no offense but damn…”
Writer: Okay well…hrmm
“Uh can you figure out something fast please? I don’t like the way the duck is looking at me.” Nick said as the duck continued to coo next to him.
That’s when Nick awoke with a start. The tuna sandwich he was eating lying on the floor next to him as the other boys frantically were banging on the door to make sure he was okay.
“Hey good recovery…the ‘it was all just a bad dream’ thing. Me likes.”
Writer: Thanks Nick.
Nick slowly and shakily stood up and walked over to the door totally shocked when he saw what was on the other side…
“Oh great another cliff hanger…”
Writer: Oh hush!
Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone! (Just) Marina will be back next week with the good old fashioned drama chapter lol see ya then!
As the world turns the days of our lives go by
The Drama chapter
~By (Just) Marina~
Nick stood there in awe. What was waiting for him on the other side of the door wasn’t what he was expecting at all. The room was completely dark and cold, which sent a shiver down his spine.
“Okay, you just contradicted yourself.” Nick walked into the room trying to avoid the uncomfortable hunch he had just gotten and still not getting used to the darkness surrounding him. “Didn’t you say before that I had seen something? I can’t see a thing.”
Writer: Well, you saw the darkness. Just keep walking and stop talking to me.
*Bump* “Ouch! I just slammed my face into the wall. Why is there a wall in here?”
Writer: Watch your step.
“Ha ha” he wanted to roll his eyes at the writer but his whole face was aching. “Where the hell am I anyway? This doesn’t look like the spaceship anymore. And where are the guys?”
Just as he stopped talking he heard someone crying in the room. It sounded like a muffled sob, a familiar one.
“AJ? Is that you?”
“Nick why did it take you so long to get the medicine?” AJ’s voice came from somewhere in the room.
“Medicine? You mean, you wanted me to get some medicine from the cabinet in the bathroom?”
“What are you talking about? Bathroom?” AJ turned on the lamp that was on the table to his right. The dim light allowed Nick to see him sitting on a couch, just in front of him. The younger man turned around and realized that the door he had just crossed wasn’t the bathroom door but the main door. He noticed also that he was completely wet and decided to take off his raincoat that was soaked with water.
“Why am I not surprised?” He said to the ceiling noticing that he was holding a paper bag in his right hand. “Is this what you wanted?” he asked AJ opening the bag and discovering it had some kind of medicine bottle inside.
“It’s too late, bro.” AJ was crying again and shaking his head. That’s when it hit Nick. It was too late.
“Too late for what? And where are the guys? Don’t you dare kill one of my brothers.” He yelled to the ceiling.
“They are with her.” AJ said looking at Nick like he had grown another head. “You don’t want to go there bro. Howie is… this is too much for him.”
Ignoring AJ’s words, Nick ran to up the stairs to one of the bedrooms and found the other guys in there. A girl was lying in a bed. She was really beautiful but extremely pale and it looked like she wasn’t breathing. Howie was crying hugging her with Brian and Kevin standing at his side. After a moment Kevin looked up noticing Nick at the door and walked directly to him
“What took you so long?”
“There was an accident in the road… I think.” he made a pause while tapping a finger on his chin. His memory was playing tricks on him. “Yes, there was an accident, now I remember it. I had to make a detour. The streets are flooded and everything is total chaos due to the storm.”
A boom of thunder roared and a bolt of lightning smashed down from the sky, illuminating the room.
“Nice touch.” Nick grinned looking to the ceiling again.
Kevin hugged Nick and started to cry on his shoulder.
“I’m sure that’s why the paramedics haven’t arrived yet” Kevin said between sobs.
“I guess.” Nick was looking at the girl from over Kevin’s shoulder trying to remember where he had seen her before. Suddenly realization hit him.
“Heidi!” he exclaimed. “She’s one of the girls from the cabin, right? How did she get in here again?”
“Do you have a fever?” Kevin put a hand on Nick’s forehead. “She is Howie’s girlfriend. They have lived together for a couple of months already.”
“No they haven’t.”
“Yes, Nick they have.” Kevin replied with his hand still on his baby brother’s forehead. Nick fought to release himself from Kevin’s grip and when he finally did it he looked around recognizing the place where they were. It was Howie’s house in Florida.
“Okay what kind of story is this one?” he asked walking to the bed. Kevin was already grabbing a thermometer from the bedside table. “Put that away Kevin. I’m not sick. I think I know what’s happening. Is this a dramatic story?”
Everybody was staring at him with worried looks. Everybody except Howie, who was still crying and holding the girl’s hand in his.
Writer: Nick, shut up and go on with the story.
Now everybody was looking at the ceiling with frightened looks on their faces.
“So we are in a drama now? Fantastic.” Nick rolled his eyes and kneeled down in front of Howie. “Howie, bro, stop crying. She is not your girlfriend.”
“Nick!” Brian scolded him. “How can you say something like that? Don’t you see that D is suffering?”
“Come on guys, don’t you remember?” Nick insisted.
“Stop it Nick. This is not time for one of your jokes.”
“It’s not a joke. That girl isn’t Howie’s girlfriend. You have to remember. This is the writer’s work. Don’t you see that someone is playing with our minds?”
Writer: Why does one of you always give me trouble? It’s not like I’m being mean to you. I’m killing Howie’s girlfriend not Leighanne or Kristin or someone that already exists. I’m even creating some new girlfriend to do it.
“Hey!” Brian pointed to the ceiling. “I remember you!”
“Me too.” Kevin said in an annoyed tone. “So what the heck is happening now?”
Writer: Okay blondie, you win. I hope you are happy with what you just did. But let me warn you, you are so not going to like what’s coming next and you will have no one to blame but yourself. You will wish I had killed Howie’s girlfriend instead.
Nick was about to say something but he didn’t have the chance.
“Guys why was I crying outside?” AJ came running into the room just to be received by a big hug from Kevin.
“I love you man and I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you.” Kevin was bawling.
“Kev, man, I love you too but you are wetting my shirt.”
“But I’m proud of you AJ.”
“Is this your idea of drama?” Nick asked to the ceiling smiling. “Kevin cries every day. And I really don’t want you playing with our minds and making us say the things that you want, so stop doing it right now, thank you very much.”
“Dude, who is the chick?” AJ asked “Is she dead?”
“It’s Howie’s girlfriend…. well, not really”
“Poor girl. Damn Kevin let go off me. I can’t breath.” Kevin stopped hugging AJ but he kept one hand on his younger brother’s neck. He was still crying and giving AJ one of his ‘I’m so proud of you’ looks. AJ shook his head. “So why is the girl dead?” he asked trying to ignore Kevin.
“I have no idea. Is there a fatal illness that can get cured by this medicine?” Nick took the bottle out of the paper bag and showed it to his brothers. “Who sends someone to buy medicine when someone else is dying by the way?”
“We called 911” Howie said.
“Oh right!” Nick put the bottle back into the bag and placed it on the table behind him.
“Okay so this is the drama chapter?” Brian asked still confused by what had just happened.
“Yes, but it seems like it’s going nowhere now.” Nick replied.
“Then why do I feel the sudden urge to cry?”
“You always cry Kevin.” AJ made Kevin release him. “By the way, you are already crying man.”
“No, I’m feeling it too.” Brian said approaching AJ and Kevin. Nick and Howie followed him. “I really need to tell you guys that I love you and I will always remember you.”
“Are you going anywhere, Brian?” Nick asked already shedding a tear.
“We are breaking up.” Brian said aloud what they all were thinking. Tears were running down his face.
“No! I mean, yes, we are… but why?” Nick looked at the guys, one by one, in search of the answer that he already knew.
“I don’t want to break up” Howie started to cry again.
“It’s time for us to do it guys.” Brian patted Howie on the back comfortingly. “We had already agreed that the time had come.”
“I’m gonna miss you guys.” Nick bit his bottom lip trying to control himself. “You are the best thing that happened to me. I mean, you know my family… if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have known what a really family was. I never counted on my parents. You guys were my parents. Kevin, you were always there for me and ….” he chocked on the words and couldn’t finish. Kevin was rubbing his back trying to calm him.
“It’s okay little man. I love you to Nick. I love you all, guys. You are my little brothers. And…and I need to tell you something. I want to apologize for all the times I wasn’t the big brother you needed. I know I have been an ass sometimes but you have to know that I always cared about you guys.”
“Of course we know it Kev.” AJ’s voice was cracking and he was about to cry. “I mean, sometimes I have been an idiot too, telling you to mind your own business when in reality I did like the way you got in my business. It showed me that you cared and it’s good to know someone cares about you the way you do.”
“Yes.” Nick was able to speak again. “It’s horrible to think that no one loves you, that no one cares about you.”
“We do care about you Nick.” AJ hugged him. “We are brothers. I know I don’t always say this but I want to say it now. I love you guys. Without you, I don’t even want to think where I would be.”
“Well, I know where I would be without you.” Nick kept wiping his tears with his sleeve. “I would be lost. Because you are the best thing in my life…”
“No, let me finish. For the past 10 years I’ve had the best family that anyone… What AJ?”
“12 years Nick, 12 years.”
“Oh right. For the past 12 years I’ve had the best family that anyone could ask for. You have been my fathers, my brothers, my mentors, my everything. You have taught me how to value life and I have a little bit of each of you in my blood.”
When Nick ended his speech the other guys were looking at the ceiling.
“What?” Nick asked.
“Nothing bro.” Brian said after a couple of minutes. “That was beautiful. It was really nice of you to say something like that. I want to thank you too, all of you guys. Part of me knows this is the right thing to do, that we should part our ways, but I can’t stop thinking that my life will be incomplete without you.”
“Guys, are we sure about this?” Howie asked. “I know we have agreed to do it, but I don’t see me keeping on with my life without you. You have always been there for me, especially you.” he said looking to AJ. “Yes, especially you Jay, you have always been my brother, you have always been family to me, always since day one when we met at the orphanage….what?!” Howie looked at the ceiling. “Okay that’s it. I’m not an orphan. What orphanage?”
Writer: Sorry, I just got carried away by the moment.
“Well your moment sucked.” Brian was now the one showing his annoyance. “And what’s with the whole quote from NON? You have no right to use it. Those words came from Nick’s heart and I don’t want you making fun of them in your dumb story. Those words are too important for me.”
“Thanks bro.” Nick smiled.
“Your welcome.” Brian smiled at Nick but the next second he was yelling at the ceiling again. “And your story is not even believable. We’re breaking up? No way! That will never happen.”
Writer: Oh come on. You have to accept that you looked so cute hugging each other and saying all those things. Some of them really came from you. And I wasn’t making fun of Nick. Not this time.”
“Well the breaking up part surely didn’t come from us.”
“Of course not” Kevin said. “We are not breaking up.”
“Never.” Nick added. “You think we would give that satisfaction to the haters. No way Jose.”
Writer: But I need something really sad and that scene with the dead girl didn’t work the way I expected.
“By the way.” Nick whispered to Brian. “Am I the only one who feels weird still having that dead chick in the same room?”
“Don’t say chick to refer to a dead girl Nick. It’s disrespectful.”
“She doesn’t even exist Brian. Oh look, she already disappeared.” Nick pointed to the bed.
Kevin clapped his hands together. “Stop discussing guys. We need to solve this situation.”
“Can’t we just say that this was just another one of the writer’s bad ideas and go to the next chapter already?” AJ suggested.
“I don’t know if I want to do that.”
“Do you think it could be worse than this Nick?”
“Have you ever read BSB fanfic Brian?”
“Have you?” Brian asked tongue in cheek.
“Well I have checked some things here and there” Nick’s face blushed red all over. “It’s not like I do it all the time. I was really bored one night and…You know what” his voice got stronger. “I won’t explain my reading habits to you guys, the thing is that we could end in something worse, like a vampire story or in angst or…”
“Slash?” AJ interrupted him.
“The one where we all are gay and in love with each other? No way!” Brian was shaking his head frantically.
“Don’t worry we already had that one, I don’t think the writer will repeat genres.” Kevin said without thinking and not even looking at the others, his head down, still wiping his tears away.
“I knew it!” AJ yelled pointing to a ‘caught in the act’ Kevin who was looking back at him with his mouth hanging open.
Howie, Brian and AJ started to laugh while Nick blushed. Kevin, nevertheless, after some initial hesitation regained composure and walked to AJ taking him by the shirt.
“That never happened. Understood?” he barked through clenched teeth.
“No! Don’t say a word Jay. It never happened. I don’t want to hear you mentioning it again or I will give the writer the sad scene required for this chapter.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that for the next chapter there would be only four backstreet boys.”
AJ gulped. “Jeez Train, you aren’t funny.”
“So?” Howie asked after a while still trying to control his laugh. Kevin had released AJ but there was still tension left in the room.
“So what?” Kevin grouched.
“So what’s happening now?” Nick intervened guessing what Howie meant to say. “Are we just staying here waiting for something to happen? Because I’m hungry and we could take advantage of the fact that we are in Howie’s house and eat something while waiting for the next genre. There has to be food here and for all we know in the next scene we could be in the middle of nowhere. Besides, it could take time for the writer to decide what to write next considering…”
Nick was still talking when the lights went out again and a strange noise made them jump.
“Or...” he kept going releasing a deep breath. “It could happen right now. Damn! I was really hungry. Won’t you ever give us a break?"Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Mersey will be back next Saturday with the horror/supernatural chapter. :O)
Machetes, dead girl, what's that under your bed and in your closet plus 5 scared shitless Backstreet Boys
The Horror Chapter
“Did you hear that?” Brian whispered his eyes wide in horror. AJ nodded, afraid to even make the softest of sounds. He felt the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck standing on end, a sign that fear was slowly creeping.
The temperature in the room dropped drastically, it was so cold that AJ could see vapors as he breathed. The –
“Oh come on! It’s Flori freaking da! It’s never THAT cold!” AJ grumbled.
“I…don’t know…about that…J.” Howie stammered, his entire body trembling.
The cold seemed to seep from the floor to his toes and spread to his entire body. A streak of lightning tore from the sky, giving the room the light they desperately needed for a second, before darkness loomed once again. A clap of thunder followed soon after. AJ felt it tear the earth and shake the very ground he was standing on.
“Is this house safe Howie?” Kevin whispered.
“Of course! The foundation is built six feet under; this baby is hard as a rock.” Howie prided in himself.
Writer: okay you know what guys. I’m tired of all of you going out of character. You’re supposed to be scared, so act like it! If you’re really good actors, this is the time to shine!
“Shh! Did you guys hear that?” Brian whispered. “There it goes again; tell me you guys heard it too!”
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
Writer: Okay Nick, I know you’re blonde and all, but I’m sure you know there is no giggling in horror flicks!
“I’m sorry, but ‘thump’? I’m just seeing two thumbs running around the house!” Nick giggled, again.
Writer: I can assure you it’s not two stupid thumbs you’re about to see. So I suggest you pick your choice of words carefully the next time or I might just let you stay here on your own while the other guys move to another genre in about another five pages from now.
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
“I heard it too.” Howie said. “You’re not imagining that Brian.”
“Yeah, I heard it too.” Kevin nodded. “And I think it’s climbing up the stairs.”
“Towards us?” AJ shivered. Kevin nodded, his finger on his lips, motioning the guys not to say another word.
AJ felt his shirt being tugged. He turned to his left and tried to figure out who it was in the dark.
“Don’t worry AJ.” It was Nick, whispering right into his ear. “When I’m scared, I count to five, it usually works.”
“What happens by six?” AJ whispered.
“I don’t know. I’ve never gone that far.” Nick whispered back.
AJ nodded even though he doubted that Nick could see him. He closed his eyes, breathed slowly and started counting.
The thumping stopped.
AJ smiled and decided it was safe to open his eyes now. “Hey Ni…GAAAHHHH!!!”
The room was still dark, the guys were nowhere to be found and staring at him, just inches away, was a huge silhouette of a man. The only thing visible was the fiery red eyes, and the machete he was now raising above his head, aiming for AJ.
“Oh COME ON! You’re not gonna leave it at that and move on, are you?”
Writer: As a matter of fact, I am.
“That’s too clichéd. Besides, we already have an axe man, now we have what, machete man? Give me something more…challenging.”
Writer: *thinking* Hmmm…you know what, I think you’re right. Just this once.
AJ nodded. “Damn straight. Now, show me what you’ve got baby.”
“Um, for the record, I didn’t say ‘baby’.”
Writer: I know.
The only thing visible was the fiery red eyes, staring back at him.
“You can’t be Darth Vader; we’ve already covered his ass in that sci-fi chapter.” AJ said.
Writer: Darth Vader doesn’t have red eyes.
“Are you sure?” AJ asked the ceiling.
Writer: That’s the Phantom Menace guy, with red eyes and the ugly, ugly face.
“Oh, I guess you’re right. All these Star Wars Episode things are very confusing.”
Writer: Tell me about it. Not much into Star Wars, I’m more a Lord of The Rings kind of person.
“Yeah, hello, if you two don’t mind, we have a chapter to finish and I don’t have all day.” The black figure with fiery red eyes interrupted.
Writer: AJ, stop distracting me! Sorry fiery red eyed guy!
AJ wanted to protest but decided against it.
“I’m not Darth Vader.” The fiery red eyed guy said with a growl.
“Yeah, I kinda found that out earlier. Remember the whole chat with-”
Writer: *clears throat*
“Never mind…so who are you? And why are you here? Are you the one who was making that thump thump noise? Cause if it was you, I’m going to have to smack Nick upside the head. He promised you’d be gone by the count of 5.”
“Nick’s wrong. You can’t get rid of me by counting to five.” The fiery red eyed guy said.
“I’ll say.” AJ mumbled. “Oh no, are you the boogeyman? You’re him, aren’t you? You came out of that closet when I had my eyes closed!” Now AJ was really afraid, but he still managed to move farther away from the boogeyman, inching towards the door.
“I’M NOT A BOOGEYMAN!” The fiery red eyed guy roared. “I am your biggest nightmare AJ.”
AJ had to laugh, which he did, out loud. “That’s what the axe man said. Kevin killed him, with a laser gun.”
“Well Kevin’s not around is he?”
AJ let out a nervous giggle.
The fiery red eyed guy reached for the switch. “I’m a…” the switch was flicked and the room was once again, filled with light. “CLOWN!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” AJ screamed. Damn his childhood fears! And this wasn’t just any other clown. This was a clown with red contact lenses!
“You know, I don’t understand why you’re afraid of me. I’m a clown for crying out loud. I go to kids’ birthday parties and do silly stuff! You do realize Ronald McDonald is a clown right? That didn’t stop you from eating there.” Now the clown was inches away from AJ’s face, wondering why this 27 year old man was still afraid of a freaking clown.
The clown rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll get right down to it.” He turned around for a few seconds, leaving AJ still screaming his head off. And then he turned back to face AJ, this time, grinning as wide as he could, showing his razor sharp teeth and scissor sharp fingers.
“You’re mine now.”
When Nick heard AJ softly counting to five, Nick decided to close his eyes and counted along with him. It had been a long time since Nick did this. He figured nightmares and ghostly encounters only happened when you were young, when your overactive imagination tended to take control. He found himself shrinking back to the old boy he once was, scared and lonely in his bed as the boogeyman creaked open the closet.
The thumping stopped.
When Nick opened his eyes, he found himself in the kitchen, all by himself.
He looked around, trying to find the switch. Outside, the trees swayed with the rhythm of the ferocious wind. It made that eerie sound ‘woooo! Woooo!’
Writer: What now?
“Woooo! Woooo!” Nick giggled, louder.
Writer: What sound would you make then?
Nick tapped his finger on his chin, thinking.
Writer: Don’t hurt yourself Nicky.
“How about, whhhheeeeee….wwwhhhheeeee….”
Writer: As I was saying, outside, the trees swayed with the rhythm of the ferocious wind. It made that eerie sound ‘woooo! Woooo!’
Tiny branches from trees nearby started tapping on the window, like claws making their way into the house.
“Kevin! Brian! Where are you guys?” His voice echoed against the walls and bounced back at him.
No one answered.
Nick found the switch and flicked it on, but no lights penetrated into the kitchen. The lightning struck again, as if to mock him.
“Stupid lights.” Nick mumbled. He was brought back to when he was ten. He had woken up in the middle of the night to one of Florida’s worst storms ever. He had cried out for his parents but no one came looking for him. He thought for the longest time, that the evil boogeyman had eaten his parents up.
Of course in reality, longest time was actually less than a minute. His dad had come barging through his room and swept him off his feet and carried him down to the basement, where his mother and his sister BJ had taken refuge.
“Damn, that is actually nice. I wish that really happened.” Nick said, looking up at the ceiling.
Nick went to the fridge and opened it. Weird enough, the electricity was working fine for the fridge. He found a few slices of chicken, salami, slices of cheese, tomatoes, smoked turkey bacon and a bottle of mayonnaise and preserved pickles. He brought them all out and placed them on the table.
“Time for a sandwich.” Nick grinned and started piling everything up in between 2 slices of bread. Once he was done, he licked his lips once more and brought the homemade sandwich to his mouth.
The sandwich disappeared before Nick could get a bite of it.
Writer: You were going off topic! You are supposed to call out for AJ and Howie!
“You know, you can take away my girlfriend and my subway tuna sandwich, but NEVER, NEVER take away my homemade sandwich!”
Writer: The bread has mold on it. You didn’t see it, it was too dark.
“Oh really? Why thank you then.”
Writer: Sure thing. Now how about that call?
“AJ? Howie! Are you guys here?” Nick yelled, hoping that this time, someone would answer him other than just his own voice echoing back.
The curtains started to sway, the kettle on the stove started to whistle and chairs started to move around on its own.
“Fuck this!” Nick started to run, wanting to make his way up to the very room he was in before his little countdown had transported him to the kitchen. But just as he was about to make his move, he heard something that stopped him.
It sounded like a little girl.
“Maybe it’s my girlfriend Nicky!”
Writer: Your ‘girlfriend’ wasn’t a little girl.
Writer: Can we continue now?
“Yeah sure, whatever.”
It sounded like a little girl. Her voice was soft and breezy like the wind. But there was no comfort to be found in her voice.
Nick felt the tremble back on his body. The fear. You’re NOT gonna pee! No way!
Nick turned around quickly as he heard a set of footfalls running across the kitchen, followed by a childlike giggle. But there was no one there.
“Guys! This isn’t funny anymore!” Nick yelled.
“Hey Nicky, over here!”
Nick turned to his right, trying to find the person behind that voice, and again, he saw no one. He turned to his left, about ready to flee the scene, when there she was, standing at the very doorway of the kitchen – Nick’s only way out.
She couldn’t be anymore than five years old. She had a white gown that reached past her toes. Her golden locks looked frail and almost white. Her eyes pale, her lips blue and where her eyes should be, there were only dark sockets, with maggots coming out of them.
That was the last thing Nick said before he blacked out.
“I demand a better ending!”
Writer: that’s not an ending you goon
“Still! That made me looked like a wuss. She’s only a 5 year old girl!”
Writer: She’s a five year old DEAD girl, who will cling on to your neck and never let you go if you don’t shut it, right about now.
“Yeah…ok, so, faint it is then.”
Kevin, ever the smart one, realized something was amiss when the dark room was suddenly filled with light and he was alone, in a totally different room. In fact, it was a nursery.
“I really think this should be Brian’s scene.”
Writer: I really think you should stick to being scared.
“I sense something unpleasant in this room.” Kevin said to himself. The nursery was filled with everything pink and lacy. Somewhere in the distance, an instrumental lullaby song was playing softly.
Out of nowhere, an apparition of a woman in a white nightgown came approaching the crib. Kevin could hear a baby crying now, wailing for some kind of attention. The window started to open on its own; the soft pink curtain looked like flailing arms as the ferocious wind started blowing in.
The rocking chair started to rock. Things started to move on their own.
“It’s just the wind.” Kevin told himself and started for the window, fighting with the wind to get it closed.
The baby had stopped crying. The woman was making cooing sounds as she stared down at the crib. Kevin approached her with caution, not wanting to make any noise and risk waking the baby up.
“I didn’t know Howie was married with a kid.” Kevin said. “This must be some alternate universe thing going on.”
Writer: Not really, we haven’t reached that genre yet.
“Excuse me miss, can you tell me where I am right now? I mean, do you live with my friend Howie? Cause last I checked, we were in his house.”
The lady said nothing, still cooing at the baby crib. Her hair was a mess, and her downward gazing eyes weren’t helping Kevin any.
“Miss?” Kevin asked as he reached the crib. He looked down and gasped. There was a baby all right, but there was also a pillow on top of the baby.
“Damn, you’re SO mean!”
Writer: It’s supposed to be scary Kevin!
“Still, that’s mean!”
Writer: Mean would be having this woman strangle you. Now, carry on please.
“She won’t cry anymore…” The lady whispered. “Everything will be all right.”
Kevin felt like throwing up. “You…you…”
She looked up for the first time, smiling at Kevin but there was no comfort in that smile. Kevin also realized he could see right through her.
Writer: This would be the best time to start screaming.
Howie was running in the dark. He wasn’t sure where he was going, or what he was running from, all he knew was, he had to run. The thumping of someone, or something, hadn’t stopped ever since they heard it back in his room. He also figured somewhere along the way, everyone freaked out and started running in different directions. So much for staying together through thick and thin, he thought.
But something finally made him stop running. And that something came in a form of Kevin’s voice, calling for him.
“Screaming more like it.”
Writer: I’ve decided screaming is too girly for Kevin.
“But you wouldn’t have any problems if it were me.”
Writer: You bet.
Relying only on his hearing, he decided to run towards Kevin’s voice.
“But what if that’s not Kevin.” Howie said, immediately pausing in his track. “What if it’s that thing trying to lure me out?”
Howie waited, weighing his options. Meanwhile, Kevin’s calls for help were becoming desperate.
Writer: For goodness sake, just go!
“This is important! And you could help by telling me if it’s really Kevin or not. You wrote this damn thing!”
Writer: Play fair. AJ didn’t even complain and he’s facing a fiery red eyed clown with razor sharp teeth and scissor sharp fingers for crying out loud.
Writer: Kevin is in danger Howie.
So Howie started running towards Kevin’s voice and found himself climbing up the flight of stairs and facing the door to the attic.
“Great.” Howie muttered. “I don’t even have an attic.”
Writer: You don’t? You’re weird. Would you prefer the basement? I can always rewrite you know.
“After you made me climb these stairs? Heck no. I’ll just go check this out.”
Howie reached for the knob, twisting it painfully slow, as if to drag the suspense further.
“Howie…help me, please!”
“I’m coming Kevin! Hold on!” Howie yelled through the door as he twisted the knob and pushed the door ajar. Rusty hinges creaked and the opening was finally big enough for Howie to squeeze through.
“Hurry D!” Kevin pleaded.
The urgency in Kevin’s voice only scared Howie even more. Something wasn’t right with him.
“I’m here! I’m here! Where are you Kevin?” Howie asked, looking around the dark attic. He tried looking for the switch but found none.
“Kevin?” Howie asked again when he got no response. “Nice Kev, call me out to hurry and now that I’m here, you’re hiding.”
Howie tried adjusting to the dark, trying to find where Kevin had hid himself. Perhaps Kevin was too hurt to say anything now. Maybe some huge old trunk had dropped on him.
“Kevin? It’d be really awesome if you could just yelp a little ‘I’m here’ and help me find you.”
The temperature started to drop. His body started to tremble. The attic didn’t seem like a good place to go to when there’s something out there ‘thumping’ to get to them all.
The door to the attic slammed shut.
“Guys are we playing hide and seek?” Brian asked out loud as he realized none of the guys were there in the room with him anymore. The scary thumping sound had stopped and the lights were back on in the room. Brian was truly impressed with Howie’s deco.
“Howie? Are you sure you want to play this game? I throw stuff around during hide and seek, you know that right?”
The curtains that reached all the way down to the carpeted floor, started to sway gently. Brian felt himself grinning. He tip toed his way closer, carefully navigating his way without being caught.
“Sometimes I drop stuff, breakable stuff.”
He grabbed a fistful of the material and counted to three before yanking it away. “GOTCHA!”
To his disappointment, there was nobody hiding behind the curtain. That was weird, he thought. He could have sworn he could make out the figure of someone about his height.
“Fine, you guys want to play dirty, I’m up for it!” Brian yelled. “Nick, I can’t believe you joined them in this! I thought you were my partner!”
Brian looked around the room. There weren’t too many places for a Backstreet Boy to hide, yet, now there were four of them hiding somewhere in that very room.
He looked behind a bookshelf and under the study table and found no one. Brian started to scratch his head.
“You know, there is NO way you can hide all four of them in this room now.”
Writer: That’s for me to worry about Brian. Now shoo! Keep looking!
He went for the laundry basket next. It was big enough for at least one Backstreet Boy, and a pile of smelly Howie clothes.
“What the heck is a laundry basket doing in his room?”
Writer: You have got to be kidding me! Didn’t you know Howie learned to do his laundry while on hiatus? Come on, you guys should be tight. You should know this! Shame on you Brian.
“That still doesn’t explain why there’s a laundry basket in his room.”
Writer: I don’t have to explain anything to you. Now go on, check that basket.
Brian grumbled but did as told. He opened the basket and yelled ‘GOTCHA NOW!’
Still, there was no Backstreet Boy there.
“This is beginning to feel like ‘Where’s Waldo?’”
That was when he heard it, someone giggling coming from under the bed!
Brian smacked himself on the forehead. “Stupid! Of course, under the bed! That could fit all 4 Backstreets.”
Slowly making his way there, he grabbed for the bed cover and pulled it up. On his knees, Brian ducked his head down there to surprise the boys.
“Yoohoo!” He cried, grinning as widely as he could. But there was no one there.
Brian jumped on the bed as fast as lightning. Fear clearly in his eyes. “No, they have to be down there. I heard someone giggling!”
The thumping was back and it sounded louder and nearer than before. Brian could feel the ground shaking as it made one huge thump after another.
Out of fresh ideas, he made a grab for the blanket and covered himself with it. Perhaps whatever it was that was definitely coming towards him wouldn’t notice the bulge under the blanket. Perhaps whatever it was, was exactly what Nick had thought it was, just two harmless thumbs searching for a pair of thumb less hands.
It was in between saying his prayers and almost peeing in his pants that Brian heard someone knocking urgently. Upon better inspection, he realized that the knocking came from inside the room, not outside.
He pushed the blanket off of him and sat on the bed, listening carefully.
The thumping had just passed the room, making its way to the room next to Howie’s. And to his surprise, the knocking came from the closet.
“Oh my God, maybe it’s the boogeyman!” Brian cried, unsure of what to do.
“I’m not the boogeyman! Hurry open up!” A voice whispered from in the closet. It didn’t sound like any of the guys. In fact, whoever it was trapped in that closet, had a British accent.
Curiosity won him over. He went running for the closet, and swung the door open.
Brian’s eyes grew wide and his mouth fell frozen in the shape of an O. Hey all! Mare will be back next Wednesday with the crossover chapter
So A Wizard, two Hobbits, a gremlin, and Justin Timberlake walk into a bar…
The Crossover chapter
“Uh…hello there, I am sorry to give you such a terrible fright…you look a little peeked is there something I can do to help?” The boy asked with his crisp English accent, not knowing why he was being stared at the way he was.
“Seems like you have had a little bit of a problem with the lights? I can fix that, if you would be so kind as to let me out of the closet.”
Brian still stared at the boy in the black robe with matching black rimmed glasses, noticeable zigzagged scar on his forehead. “Okay….let me think of a perfect spell to cast, obviously I’m not as good at this as Hermione.”
Harry closed his eyes and took his wand out of his robe, “Sufficus….luminous…maximus,” He said twirling about the wand in small circular motions. When he was done with the chant the lights went on and Brian looked at Harry and smiled a half smile.
“Oh I apologize how silly of me to not introduce myself…Harry Potter.”
“Riiight, I knew that and I’m Brian…um…Harry so you live in my friend’s closet?”
Harry laughed, “No…Ron told me this would lead me to the bank, he’s such a dreadful kidder that Ron.”
“Okay…well, this makes no sense.” Brian said rolling his eyes.
Writer: I don’t think you have time to worry about that right now, can’t you hear Howie screaming?
“Excuse me chap…but do you hear the ceiling talking to you as well or did my head not adjust to the new environment yet?”
“Never mind Harry…” Howie’s screeching from up above made the two guys look towards the ceiling, “We have to go help D.”
Brian grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him along as they ran through the never ending long corridor and up the stairs to the attic. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“AHHHHHH” Howie screamed once again for no apparent reason since nothing at all scary was happening to him at that moment.
“Well excuse me for being scared, you locked me in a dark attic in a creepy chapter with things thumping and bumping all around me, what the heck else am I supposed to do?”
Writer: Okay well whatever you do, don’t look behind you.
“Okay now you’re trying to freak me out aren’t you?” Howie said biting on his bottom lip and trying to control his shaking. He felt a presence behind him, he knew something was there. He heard it slowly scratching at the wood as it got closer and closer to him.
He turned slightly off to the side just as a flash of lightning illuminated the attic; the shadow the thing behind him cast was enough to give him fifteen heart attacks on the spot as its huge wings spread behind him, looking as if it was ready to consume his entire head.
“Howie are you okay?” Brian asked from the other side of the door, banging furiously to try to be heard over Howie’s desperate cry for help.
“Brian help it’s going to eat me!!!”
Brian glanced down at Harry, “You think you can get us in there?”
“Of course…open dooricus!”
“Open dooricus?” Brian said rolling his eyes at the writer.
Writer: So sue me!
The door suddenly swung open and there was Howie batting at a huge white owl. “Get away from me….Ack!! Help me out Brian.”
“Hedwig stop it this instant!” The second the owl heard Harry’s voice she calmed down and flew to her master, landing on his shoulder like a pro.
With another chant, the lights magically went on leaving a very baffled Howie shaking his head. “Is that who I think it is?” He asked Brian who nodded and shrugged.
“Harry this is Howie, Howie this is Harry.”
“And that was some tongue twister, Harry, Howie, Howie, Harry; pffft try saying that ten times fast.”
Writer: Brian, you’re going off on a tangent again.
“I see you gents are in a bit of trouble. Is there anything else I can do for you? If not my owl and I will be on our way.”
Howie and Brian looked at each other, “No, you should go because…well frankly this is weird.”
“Yup I agree with Brian but thanks for helping us.”
Harry nodded and once again waved his wand as the window in the attic suddenly flew open, “Not a problem men…good luck to you!” His Nimbus 2000 magically appeared and all at once he jumped on it and flew out the window as the orchestra blared in the background.
Writer: Yes I love the Harry Potter score, John Williams is a genius…lovely just lovely.
“What the heck was he doing here anyway?”
Writer: You haven’t figured it out?”
“Figured what out?” Brian said walking over and closing the window just as Harry was doubling back to make an entrance again. He crashed into the window with a giant thud and slid down the side of the house before Brian even had a chance to turn around to see what the noise was.
Writer: This is the crossover chapter.
“What does that mean exactly? Are we going to start talking to the dead or something?”
Writer: No Brian…that’s the show, this is a chapter that means that we can use other characters from other stories and genres at our own free will.
“Like Harry Potter?” Howie asked rubbing his neck.
Writer: Yes like Harry Potter, but we should really stop chit chatting, remember why you were up here to begin with Howie.
“Yes that’s right; I was in my attic that doesn’t really exist because I thought I heard Kevin screaming.”
As if on cue, they heard Kevin’s voice booming down from below.
“So let me guess, now we have to run down the steps to help him?”
Writer: Wow Howie you are a very smart guy, I think I shall give you a gold star…NOT!
“You know you could try to be nice every once in a while.”
“AHHHHHH!” They heard once again ring out from below.
“Come on let’s go Brian, it sounds like he’s in my nursery…wait my nursery?”
Writer: Just GO!
Brian grabbed Howie’s arm and pulled him out the door and together they ran down the steps to help their oldest band mate. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Kevin backed himself up against the wall as the ghostly apparition floated towards him, her socket less eyes wide as she held her hands out to him. “Okay there’s no such thing as ghosts….no such things as ghosts…this is just my freaking imagination.” He said, willing himself to open his eyes and when he did…the ghostly figure was gone.
“Well thank the lord God!” He took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down and as he was just about to turn the knob that led out into the main hallway he saw the silhouette of two men standing in the corner. From their size he breathed a sigh of relief, “Brian and Howie thank God…you will never believe what I just went through in here.”
The two figures didn’t say anything but were whispering to themselves, “Do you think he is good or evil?” one asked.
“No idea, he seems nice enough…perhaps he will help?” The other answered.
Now Kevin, realizing the two short men were not his friends at all he allowed himself to slowly and cautiously walk towards them. “Who are you and why are you in my friend’s house? Are you robbers?”
“He thinks we’re robbers Sam…he has no idea.”
“I think he is okay than mister Frodo.”
“You know I can hear you right? You’re not doing a very good job at whispering.”
The electricity in the house suddenly went back on and Kevin had a chance to see who he was conversing with. Sam and Frodo sat arms wrapped around each other in the corner of the room; their tiny little bodies not even coming halfway up the dresser they were cowering by.
“Excuse me…I’m having a problem here.”
Writer: Oh now THERE’S a huge surprise.
“Aren’t there all sorts of copyright issues going on right about now?”
Writer: Kevin this is fan fiction…I doubt I am going to be sued by JRR Tolkien’s people.
“Please sir…” Now the red head said making his way slowly towards Kevin, waving an itty bitty white flag.
“Red head? Was he red headed in the book?”
Writer: I have no idea, I never read the book. I only saw the movie.
“Okay then, yes?” Kevin said dropping down to the floor to be about the same height as the little troll.
“I’m a Hobbit…”
Writer: Hobbit, troll, it’s all the same.
“Well actually there is quite a difference see a Hobbit has big hairy feet like this and…”
“I wouldn’t argue with her if I were you…”
Sam nodded and continued to walk closer to Kevin. “We were wondering if you have seen our ring. We seem to have misplaced it when we ended up in this very strange place.”
“No, I’m sorry I haven’t. Wow I guess that’s not a good thing to lose huh?”
Both of the Hobbits nodded, “I’d say we aren’t going to fair very well in the rest of our tale if we can’t locate that ring Mister Frodo.”
Kevin stood up, “I’m sure it’s here some place…let’s see,” he looked all around the room, including the crib that once housed the scary baby, but yet he saw nothing.
“Gandalf will not be happy…I have let all of our people down…the Ring was our last hope.” Frodo said now running over to Sam and embracing him in an everlasting hug.
“Seems like this is where you should have put the slash in,” Kevin said chuckling as he watched the two mini people hugging.
The tender moment was broken abruptly when Howie and Brian came crashing through the door, “Kevin!! Are you okay?” His cousin frantically yelled.
“Shhh! Keep your voice down and yes I’m fine.”
“Hey guys look what I found outside the door, it’s a tiny little ring, I wonder if it belonged to that owl from hell.”
“Owl from hell?” Kevin asked Howie with a raised brow.
“Yes, stupid Harry Potter’s stupid owl gave me a heart atta…wow… hello.” Howie said stopping mid sentence when he saw the two Hobbits staring up at him.
“Our ring…you’ve found our ring…thank you SO much!” Sam said running over to Howie and putting his hands out to catch it.
“Are those the Lord of the Rings guys?” Brian asked now joining Kevin and Howie as they stared at the two mini men doing a happy jig to celebrate getting their ring back.
“Their dancing is just….hypnotic…” Brian said after watching them dance for what felt like an eternity.
“We don’t know how to repay you kind sir…” Frodo said placing the ring back around his neck, tucking it safely under his shirt.
Howie bent down to shake the Hobbits’s hand, “No problem…my name’s Howie.”
“Ooh and you must be Brian than.” Sam said making his way next to Frodo and once again wrapping him in a hug.
“Yup, that’s me.”
“This nice fellow thought we were you when we first met.”
Both Howie and Brian looked over at Kevin a little annoyed.
“What?” The oldest band member asked not knowing why he was receiving such nasty looks.
“You mistook two gnomes for us?”
“We’re Hobbits…See trolls are just a little shorter than humans and are usually fat…well I mean I’m kind of a fattish Hobbit but that’s besides the point…They have long hair and long beards and…”
“I don’t think they care Sam…let’s just keep doing a jig.”
“Okay.” The two little Hobbits continued to dance as the two bigger Hobbits argued with their friend.
Writer: Well you guys are kind of tiny.
“Sorry guys it was dark and I thought it was the two of you, I mean from a certain angle you kind of could pass for…”
“AHHHHHHH!!!!” Another scream sliced through the air stopping Kevin mid sentence.
“AJ!” All three said at the same time and went running out of the room leaving the two happy little gnomes dancing away.
“We’re Hobbits! See gnomes are…”
Writer: Shut up and dance.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*
AJ screamed once more, closing his eyes and hoping the clown wouldn’t break him into 3 and juggle him to death, although if he was broken into three technically he’d already be dead…
“Now’s not the time to start babbling!”
Writer: Sorry I tend to think out loud sometimes.
“Just do something that doesn’t involve IT eating ME!”
AJ said, now allowing himself to open one eye. The scary clown with the razor sharp teeth had now transformed into a more familiar character.
“What the heck? Dude you cannot be in this story.” The masked man holding the machete looked at him confused and grunted.
AJ took a few steps back, “Man I am a super huge fan of your movies dude. I can’t stand the way the chicks always scream and fall to the floor, no wonder you hack them to bits.”
Jason stood there grunting and nodding at the same time.
“It must get old for you dude…running after people as they scream, I mean people scream in our faces all the time but at least ours is AHHHH we love you AHHHH come have our babies AHHHH you are so cute. You get the whole AHHH please don’t kill me thing.”
Once again Jason nodded and put his head down as he lowered his machete. “It’s so stereotypical you know? They should judge you for YOU not because you’re some machete wielding psycho…” He said placing his arm around Jason trying to console him.
“Help me!!!” AJ took his arm away from Jason when he heard the faint cry for help.
“Nicky is that you man? You will never believe who is in here with me bro!”
“No it’s not Nick…help me.”
AJ stood up, “I’ll be right back Jason…try not to kill anyone while I’m gone okay?”
Jason nodded and gave a thumbs up as AJ ventured out into the hallway only to find Justin Timberlake on the floor, wooden beam on his ankle preventing him from moving.
“What the heck?” AJ looked up at the ceiling, “Why is HE here?”
Writer: I can’t believe you were all but rubbing Jason’s back with not so much as one question as to why he was there but now you see Justin and you are appalled?
“Well it’s just that whenever we do any little thing he seems to pop up…no offense dude.” AJ said peering down at Justin as he struggled to break free.
“AJ, I’d appreciate some help please?” AJ bent down and removed the beam from Justin as he wriggled his way free.
“How did you get here?”
The brillo headed man bit at his bottom lip, “I was in the studio with Snoop Dogg when all of the sudden I fell through the floor and ended up…here.”
“Oh, do you think you can stand on that thing” AJ asked helping the man up.
“Yeah I don’t think it’s broken.”
“Where is everyone else? Or are you alone? You know I tend to do everything alone now since I was such an incredibly successful solo artist. In fact I need to get out of here soon because I’m scheduled to meet with Coldplay so I can get something set up, they are going to work on my next solo album.”
“Nice dude…” AJ said only half listening, looking around for the rest of his band mates.
They walked through the huge living room and dining room areas as Justin prattled on and on about himself, “And I can’t even tell you how cool it was to win a Grammy, it’s just the most awesome feeling to know that your fellow musicians love what you do.”
“Guys?” AJ yelled in a near state of panic when he thought he could no longer take hearing Justin talk about himself any longer.
“Cameron is SO fine…we’re probably going to get married and then I’m going to ask her to collaborate with me on my next album, you know I think I have asked just about everyone except you guys.”
“Anyone?” He yelled again as he made his way back towards the kitchen.
“The Black eyed peas are going to work on another song of mine as well as Janet and Michael Jackson, and the Osmond’s we mustn’t forget them oh and Eminem…”
“I don’t know where everyone is Justin.”
“And I am making ten movies…did I tell you about my movies?”
They stopped short when they saw Britney standing in the doorway leading into the kitchen. “Hey ya’ll what is HE doing here?” She asked pointing at Justin who rolled his eyes at her.
AJ pushed past Britney and back into the kitchen where Jason sat tapping his hands on the kitchen table trying to keep himself entertained. The two blonde, self absorbed bimbos followed.
“Wow judging by that description I’d say you’re not much of a fan?”
Writer: That is correct AJ…anyway…
When Jason saw them he grunted and stood machete in hand.
“AHHHHH!” They both screamed.
Jason remembering what his new friend had asked him looked over at AJ for permission to chase, “Eh, do what you gotta do bro!”
Jason nodded and grunted holding his machete in the air and running at full speed towards both pop stars as he did.
“Please don’t kill us, I’ll let you work on my upcoming album…it’s highly anticipated.” He heard Justin plead.
One more grunt was heard as the trio ran out of the kitchen.
Kevin, Brian and Howie were running down the stairs when they heard the two blondes screaming as Jason ran after them and out the front door.
“Hrmm that was interesting…” Kevin said, now directing his eyes at AJ who came walking out of the kitchen smoking a cigarette.
“You okay AJ?” Howie asked looking his friend up and down.
“I’m okay, you guys okay?”
“Yeah…have you seen Nick?” Brian asked as AJ stamped on his cigarette.
“God AJ use an ash tray this IS my house remember?”
“Sorry bro…and no I haven’t, why is it always Carter that stays missing?”
“He probably walked into a closet and can’t find his way out.” Kevin said which caused the rest of the boys to laugh.
“Okay I guess we should go look for him…let’s go.” Brian said leading the pack. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*
Nick lay on the cold, hard floor trying to will himself awake. Giggling as he felt the fur on his neck. “Quit it!” He said batting at what he thought was one of his cats.
“What?” Nick said slowly opening his eyes as he felt small hands petting his hair.
At first his vision was blurry, the thing standing before him a big brown blob. It wasn’t until he blinked for the fifteenth time that the creature came into his view. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes as if doing that would make the thing go away.
“What in the holy hell!”
“Doooo doooo dooooo” It sang and smiled, wiggling its ears and crawling into Nick’s lap.
“What happened to the little girl ghost thingie?” He asked the cute little gremlin.
Gizmo shrugged at him and opened his tiny arms to hug the blonde.
“Whoa this is SO cool! I have ALWAYS wanted one of these things!!”
Writer: Nick don’t get excited you won’t be keeping him.
“Bright light.” Gizmo exclaimed shielding his eyes from the harsh fluorescent light above.
“Cool, I guess the lights came back on at least. Come on Gizmo we need to go find the others.
“Doooo doooo doooo” The cute furry creature sang as Nick scooped him up and placed him in his jacket to shield his eyes from the bright light.
In front of Nick there stood a multitude of doors, none marked but all leading to somewhere. “Seems like we have to pick one of these if we are ever going to find our way out of here little guy.”
He walked closer and carefully examined each door, “Why do I have a feeling that if I open the wrong door something is going to eat me?”
Writer: You’re just paranoid.
“Gee, wonder why,” Nick said under his breath which caused Gizmo to let out the cutest little giggle.
Writer: See? Be happy I gave you the best scenario; all you have to do is try the doors.
“Okay fine, here goes nothing…” He said walking over to the first door and turning the knob.
“Luke…I am your father….” Darth Vader said in his menacing James Earl Jones voice.
“Okay not Luke….sorry.”
“My mistake.” Darth said as Nick closed the door.
“Okay it wasn’t that one…let’s try this one shall we?” He said to Gizmo as he poked his head out to see what was going on, now wearing a pair of mini sunglasses to help keep his eyes from hurting.
“And where did the mini sunglasses come from?”
Writer: His pocket
“He’s not wearing clothes,” Nick said looking down at the Gremlin surprised to see that he was wearing a little jumpsuit complete with pockets.
“Hey you cheated he wasn’t wearing that before.”
Writer: this chapter’s getting a little long blondie…just open another door.
“Okay but I’m watching you!”
Nick approached yet another door and pulled it open, “Eeee Teeee phooone hooome.” The alien said extending his finger towards Nick.
“AHHHH!” One of Nick’s biggest fears was ET ever since he was a child, so he slammed the door, not realizing poor ET’s finger was in the way.
“Oooouch.” The alien said as he quickly pulled his finger away.
“Sorry…okay trying this one now.” He said moving to the door next to it only to be faced with a chorus of “We’re off to see the Wizard.”
“Okay Toto I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” He said making Gizmo giggle as he slapped him a high five.
“Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone…”
“Okay that was weird…what about this one?”
“I vant to suck you’re blooood…”
“Sorry I gave at the office,” he said slamming the door on Dracula.
He tried door after door….
“Can you tell me how to get…how to get to Sesame Street.”
“Help us we were in a plane crash and now we’re…Lost.”
“The tribe has spoken…”
Nick’s head was spinning from opening door after door only to keep finding more useless characters behind each one. Just when he was about to give up, he opened a door but this time Howie, AJ, Brian and Kevin were behind it.
“Nicky, thanks goodness we have been calling you for a while now…are you okay?” Kevin asked tousling Nick’s hair.
“Now, I am…you wouldn’t believe all the weird things that just happened.”
“Pffft kid you don’t know the meaning of the word weird…” AJ said rolling his eyes and lighting up another cigarette.
“Yeah we still have little Hobbits doing a jig upstairs.
“Look what I have here…” Nick said carefully opening his jacket to show them Gizmo.
“What do you have there?”
“Giz…AWW now where did he go?”
Writer: I told you, he wasn’t yours to keep.
“You are SO cruel; first you take away my girlfriend now you take away my gremlin!
“Guys I think we should get out of here before anything else happens.” Howie said giving each of the boys a warning look.
“Or worse yet if Timberlake comes back.”
They all nodded in agreement and went for the last door, the only one that Nick hadn’t opened.
“You guys realize this is probably the end of the chapter right? And when the door opens something else is going to happen.”
“Probably D, but we need to go.”
“But what if we just decide not to open the door? Wouldn’t the story just have to end?”
Before anyone had a chance to answer that they heard a huge growl come from the end of the room where something was batting at the door it was trapped behind, desperately trying to break through.
“Guys, I suggest we go NOW! That was the Jurassic Park door!” Nick said growing antsy.
“But Nick didn’t you just hear what I said?” Howie asked just as a huge Raptor came charging through the door.
“AHHHH!” They all screamed as they opened the door and flung themselves through. Hope you enjoyed! Maria will be back next week with the Alternate Universe chapter! :O)
Next Stop, the Twilight Zone!
The Alternate Universe Chapter
~By (Just) Marina~
They ran through the door and found themselves in the middle of a frantic scene. There were doctors running in every direction, nurses pushing stretchers, people yelling in pain. Quickly they realized where they were, it was an emergency room, a very busy one.
“I thought we had left the crossover chapter already?” Nick, who had taken a couple of steps ahead, turned around to face the other guys.
“What makes you think we haven’t Nicky?” Howie asked him trying not to get run over by an old man in a wheelchair.
“Because we are in ER.”
“Duh! We know that already dumbass. Of course we are in an ER.”
“Not AN ER, AJ…ER, as in the show.”
“The TV show?” Brian exclaimed while the others looked around after hearing what Nick had just said looking for a familiar face. “Great, I like that show.”
“Are you sure Nick?” Kevin asked. “How do you know we are in ER? We haven’t seen any of the main characters yet. Isn’t that the purpose of a crossover? Having us interacting with other famous people.”
“Just wait a minute and we will see one of the main characters.”
“Again, Nick” AJ was starting to get exasperated; he really hated emergency rooms and couldn’t stand to be among sick people. “How do you know that?”
“Listen guys.” Nick brought his hand to his ear in a gesture that told them to pay attention.
“Dr. Carter, calling for doctor Carter. Dr. Carter you are needed in the ER,” a voice was repeating through the speaker system.
“That’s that Noah Wyle guy, right?”
“Yep” Nick replied. “Very cool name,” he added smiling without noticing that a nurse who had come into the building pushing a stretcher together with two paramedics, had given Nick a strange look and was now coming directly to them.
“Dr. Carter. Don’t you hear them calling you? Why are you standing here?” She asked Nick pulling him by the arm. “Come on doctor.” She kept pulling him but stopped when she finally acknowledged the other guys behind Nick. “Doctor Littrell? Doctor Dorough? I didn’t know you were on duty tonight but it’s so good to have you here. There has been a big MVA on the highway and they are bringing lots of people. We need you all right now.”
“Huh?” The boys’ faces were of complete confusion.
“MVA?” Nick asked Brian “That isn’t some Music Video Awards thing, is it?
“I think it means motor vehicle accident,” Brian whispered while the pushy nurse kept talking about a terrible accident using lots of medical terms that in their heads sounded all like gibberish. Suddenly she made a gesture to the paramedics that had entered the hospital with her and were still working on their patient. “This way guys please. The place is full; we will have to take care of him right here.” The paramedics brought the stretcher closer for the guys to see a man completely covered in blood.
“Doctor Littrell, do you think we should give him more saline? He is bradying down.”
Brian nodded not knowing what else to do.
“We would need another large-bore IV,” she kept talking. “You can leave guys,” the nurse told the paramedics. “We can take it from here, and you still have a lot to do out there. AJ, I need you to help me to stop the hemorrhaging.”
“I think I’m going to puke,” AJ said.
“I think I’m going to faint,” Howie replied falling to the floor.
“What the hell?” Kevin said noticing for the first time the clothes they were wearing while running to help Howie. They were all on white robes except for AJ, who wasn’t wearing any robe over his green scrubs, and for him, who was wearing a business suit.
With AJ frozen in one spot and Howie still on the floor, Brian had jumped immediately into the situation. Nick nervously had followed him still not sure what to do. After a minute Howie woke up just to see a bloody hand grab for him asking for help and fainted again.
“Okay I think we have stabilized him,” said the nurse who had done the entire job practically alone. “We should take him to surgery now. Dr. Dorough are you okay?” she asked Howie who had woken up again.
“Yes, I am. Don’t worry.” He stood up.
“I think one of the other doctors should check on you.”
“I am okay.” They were all walking through a hallway helping her to push the stretcher to one of the elevators.
“Why I am not wearing doctor’s clothes?” Kevin suddenly asked the nurse. “I am a doctor right?”
“Sorry sir I don’t know you.”
“You don’t know me? How can you know them and don’t know me?”
“Do you think he escaped from the psychiatric floor? Maybe we should call security,” the nurse whispered to Nick who started to laugh.
“You really don’t know Kevin,” he asked once they reached the elevator doors and were waiting for it to come down. The nurse shook her head.
AJ, who had been walking behind them the whole time while hyperventilating, had already controlled himself a little and hearing Nick’s words, came closer to him and the nurse.
“You mean Kevin isn’t the ER chief, nor the best surgeon ever or a director of the hospital?”
“Of course not AJ,” the woman replied.
“Man, I think I like this chapter.” AJ grinned just before a group of doctors and nurses passed them by pushing another bloody person in a stretcher. “Except for that.” He pointed to them. “That of course is still gross.”
“AJ, we would need to talk about what just happened. I know you are new here but these last two months you have shown us what a great nurse you are. We never had problems with you before but you standing there not helping us was completely unacceptable.”
The doors of the elevator opened and the nurse went in with Brian at her side. None of the other boys made an attempt to get inside and Brian, noticing they were leaving him alone, grabbed the one who he was closest too, who happened to be Howie, and yanked him into the elevator before the doors closed again.
“A nurse? I’m a freaking nurse?” AJ couldn’t believe what he had just heard.
Kevin and Nick were laughing at AJ’s shocked face. “You are an ugly nurse, bro.”
“Well at least I have a role in this story Kevin.”
“Shut up AJ. I have a role; I just need to find it out. Come on!” he said to the ceiling. “If I’m not a doctor what the heck I am?”
“I don’t know…a patient?” Nick guessed since ceilings didn’t speak and the boys couldn’t get that into their big heads.
“Are you feeling alright?” Nick asked Kevin who was still looking to the ceiling.
“Of course I’m feeling alright.”
“But you look kinda pale, Kevin.” Nick continued. “Let me auscultate you.”
“Why doesn’t it surprise me that you wanna auscultate him Nick?” AJ moved his eyebrows up and down in amusement.
“Moron” Nick told him bringing his stethoscope to Kevin’s chest.
“Let go of me Nick.”
“Kevin, let doctor Nick examine you.” AJ chuckled. “You know, you really look all stressed out.”
“I AM stressed out and it’s because of you two idiots. And it doesn’t matter that people are telling me that Nick is a doctor, I’m not letting him examine me.”
“How rude.” Nick crossed his arms over his chest pretending that Kevin’s words had hurt him.
The door of the elevator opened again and off came Brian and Howie.
“He will be okay. Our best surgeon is working on him” Brian said trying to sound nonchalant.
“What’s wrong with you now Brian?” Kevin asked him suspecting something.
“With me? Nothing.”
“I know you and you are hiding something. Did something happen?”
“Brian is mad because they didn’t let him operate on that man.”
“Brian are you crazy?”
“I wasn’t going to operate on him, I just wanted to help but Howie here ruined it. He started to talk nonsense and scared them.”
“I scared them? You are the one who started to talk to the ceiling.”
“Well you made me go for it when you mentioned the writer. I only said that if she gave me those memories in the sci-fi chapter she probably made me an incredible doctor here and now they probably think we are crazy.” He took a deep breath before going on. “So… do we know already what kind of chapter this is? Is there something like medical drama in the fan fiction world?”
“Considering that we are other people now, I think this is AU,” Nick explained to them.
“You know it’s kind of sad that you know that much about fan fiction Nick” AJ was in a very weird mood and was searching his pockets for a cigarette. Nick rolled his eyes and tried to ignore him.
“Alternate Universe, Howie.”
“Other people?” Brian brought his hands to his face feeling it. “Still me here.”
“I mean we aren’t the Backstreet Boys, we are doctors… well AJ is a nurse and Kevin…we are still trying to figure out what he is.”
“You mean he isn’t an ER doctor?” Brian asked in awe.
“Nope” Nick answered with a smile.
“Surgeon on a day off?” Howie tried to guess.
“Chief of Staff?” They both asked at the same time.
“Wow” both mouths hung open in disbelief. “I think I like this writer.” Brian let out a little giggle.
“I said the same thing.” AJ laughed.
“Hey! What’s wrong with you Brian? You are my cousin. You are supposed to be at my side. From the dumbass here I can understand it, but you…”
“Ouch” AJ said since Kevin had accompanied the ‘dumbass’ remark with a smack to his head. “Why are you hitting me?”
“Because you are getting on my nerves and instead of helping me to find out my role in this stupid story you and Nick are making fun of me, and now you too Brian.”
“Sorry cuz but you have to accept that sometimes you are a little too bossy. It’s good to know that you won’t have the chance to boss us around now.”
“Well maybe I’m your boss in some other way so don’t call it a victory yet.”
The boys shook their heads trying not to laugh at Kevin’s frustration.
“In what way could you be our boss if you don’t work here Kevin?”
“Who knows, maybe I work for the government and I’m carrying out some kind of inspection here. Or I’m someone really important like the president of the United States.”
The other boys exploded into laughter. “The President?” Nick rolled his eyes.
“Nah, I say he is a patient” AJ said starting to get impatient since he couldn’t find a cigarette and this place was making him more than nervous.
“And I told you already that I would never go to a hospital were you are doctors.”
They were still discussing the situation when a doctor who was passing by, smiled at Kevin and started to walk in their direction.
“Hey I think that guy knows me, I guess we will know who I am soon.”
“Good morning Doctor Richardson. Gentlemen,” he greeted them.
“Doctor Richardson? YES! I am a doctor! I knew it.”
“Beg your pardon.” The red haired doctor looked at him bewildered.
“Eh… nothing.” Kevin composed himself and put on a serious face.
“I see you already met part of our staff. Doctor Littrell and Doctor Dorough are some of our best practitioners. And of course Doctor Carter who I’m sure you have heard about.” The doctor said totally ignoring AJ’s presence.
“Go ahead; ignore me, after all I’m just a nurse. Asshole.” AJ whispered being elbowed by Brian in response.
“I’m glad to have you as part of our medical team now, Doctor Richardson. But what brings you here today? You weren’t supposed to start here until next Monday.”
“I… eh… I was... walking by?”
“Well it’s a really busy day but in a way we can say that you could not have chosen a better day to see how things work here. I really wasn’t expecting you today though and I have to go back to the surgery floor right now but I’m sure Dr. Carter here as our Chief of Emergency Medicine will help you with everything you need. Good night doctors.”
“Chief of Emergency Medicine?” Kevin repeated the words that the doctor had just pronounced still not believing them.
“YES! I’m the boss!” Nick said mimicking Kevin’s previous gesture of victory with his arm.
“You can’t be the boss.”
“Well, you are too young… among other things”
“Haven’t you heard of Doogie Howser?”
“Haven’t you heard of IQ tests? Doctors are supposed to be intelligent.”
“Hey, that’s rude Mr. 360 degrees.”
“You are always repeating that AJ is completely recovered and how much he has changed because he has made a 360 degree turn. 360 degrees takes you back to where you started Kevin. That’s what people call a full turn!”
“Talking about AJ,” AJ interrupted them. “Why the hell I am the only nurse?”
They all gave him a quick glance but a second later Kevin and Nick were back to fighting, ignoring him completely.
“I’m not working for you Carter.”
“You are, Kevin. I’m so loving this story.”
“Well I’m not,” AJ said. “You know what? This story is boring and I don’t like sick people. I really think we should leave this place.”
“For once I agree with AJ.” Kevin nodded.
“Oh come on, don’t be such babies”
“I’m not a baby. I simple don’t like this place. Give me something else because this sucks.” AJ started to walk towards the door.
“Where are you going, Bone?” Brian asked and decided to follow him. Soon enough all the other boys were walking after them too.
“I need a cigarette and I guess I can’t smoke in here.”
AJ crossed the door again but instead of ambulances or another hospital scene he found a classic car from the 60s in front of him, in the middle of a dark street.
“Wow, Look at this baby,” he said approaching the old automobile. “This is really a classic, a 1964 Pontiac Bonneville in perfect condition. It looks beautiful in this color.” He kept walking around the red convertible. “1964 was the last year for this body on the full size Pontiac.”
Kevin, Brian and Howie followed him looking in awe at the scene surrounding them. After a couple of minutes Nick emerged from the building too, eating some Jello that he had taken from a patient’s tray.
“Nick that food isn’t for you,” Brian said.
“I’m hungry,” he shrugged filling a spoon. “Oh shit,” he said looking around before bringing the spoon to his mouth. “Are we back to being ourselves? Great AJ! You had to ruin my opportunity to be the boss.” He directed his attention to his Jello again but it magically disappeared from his hands. “What the hell! You really hate me right?” he yelled to the night sky full of stars. “First you take my sandwich, then my gremlin and now my Jello!”
“You were going to eat a gremlin?” Howie asked scared.
“No! But…you know what? Forget it.”
“AJ!” Brian called the tattooed man who had already climbed inside the vehicle. “That car isn’t yours. You can’t go in there. Kevin, say something!”
“Huh?” Kevin was busy walking the street trying to figure out where they were.
“Nothing” Brian answered. He wasn’t in the mood for more fights and decided to let AJ do whatever he wanted, focusing his attention on his other younger brother. “And what makes you think that we are back to being ourselves Nick?”
“Because this look like we are shooting more pictures. Check out the old car and the suits we are wearing now.”
“It looks more like we went back in time,” Kevin said walking back to where the others were standing next to the car and pulling Nick’s jacket sleeves so the others would look at it. “The car, the clothing style, everything is very 60s.”
“So was our last photo shoot.” Nick shrugged again.
“60s or not I think this car is ours,” AJ said from his place in front of the wheel.
“Because I had a key chain in my hand and it looks like this particular key is for this car,” he said putting the key in the ignition and turning on the car. “See,” he said turning it off after a while.
“So if this is the 60s, what are we now?” Nick said feeling his body.
“What are you doing? Are you looking for something?” Brian asked him.
“I took some crackers from that patient’s lunch tray too. I know that I’m not wearing the doctor’s robe anymore but maybe they are in these clothes…” He stopped talking abruptly and his face went pale.
“Nick? What happened?”
“What the hell,” Nick said pulling a gun out of his jacket. “Why do I have a gun in my jacket?”
“Probably for the same reason we have machine guns in the back seat of the car,” Howie replied looking inside the car. Maybe we are robbers.” He gulped. “Yes, I think we are robbers getting shot at…did I say getting shot at?” he asked just when he felt a bullet whistle past his ear. “Oh my God we are getting shot at!”
“Get in the car!” AJ yelled while turning it on again.
A police car whipped around the corner. AJ tried to accelerate the car but ended up with the car making a weird noise and stopping.
“Move AJ, you can’t drive stick!” Kevin shouted taking the wheel. AJ got into the passenger seat while the other boys piled up in the back seat.
The pursuit was insane. They drove around the dark city going into alleys and almost running over a couple that was crossing a street, the whole time with the police officers shooting at them. After some minutes they managed to lose the other car and parked in a dark alley where AJ thought they wouldn’t be found.
“Howie get off me. I can’t breath,” Brian said from the backseat where he had jumped in with Nick and Howie, or more like where Nick and Howie had jumped over him.
“Guys, why were the police chasing us?” Nick asked going down into car. “Do you really think we are robbers or some kind of mobsters? Maybe we are part of Al Capone’s band or something like that.”
“Considering that we are in the 60s and Al Capone is from the 20s I doubt it Nick” AJ said climbing out of the car too.
“And the writer chose you as the chief of ER?” Kevin rolled his eyes.
Nick gave him the finger.
“Guys please don’t fight” Brian intervened. “You are right about something Nick. It looks like we are some kind of criminal band,” he added finally being able to move when Howie left the car. He had found a suitcase on the floor of the car and was carrying it down. After placing it on top of the car’s trunk, he opened it.
“Wow, that’s a lot of money.”
“We are rich!”
“Weren’t we rich already, D?”
“Well, not here, I think.”
“Either way, that’s probably stolen money and I don’t want it.” Brian was about to close the suitcase but Howie stopped him.
“Speak for yourself Bri, I want it.”
Nick took a glance at the contents of the suitcase for the first time. “It’s old money, we can’t use it.”
AJ hit him on the head. “It isn’t old money, dumbass. We are in the past.”
“Well then can we use it to buy some food? I’m really hungry,” he whined. “Have you noticed that people in stories never eat? If only I could find those crackers.” He started to check his pockets again when he felt something hard.
“He he,” he giggled
Writer: Not that.
“Sorry but that sounded funny.”
“So there you are!” Kevin looked to the sky. “Why did you take us from the ER to get chased by the police?”
Writer: I remembered that there are too many hospital stories out there already. Let’s just call it another bad idea.
“You keep having those.”
Writer: Shut up Kevin. I decided that I want an AU with more action. I guess AJ saying he was bored made me realize that.
Nick was still checking his pockets and he pulled out the hard thing he had felt. A tape recorder?
“AJ” he whispered while Kevin kept fighting with the writer.
“Why do I have this?” he asked showing the big machine to AJ.
AJ’s eyes grew bigger and for a moment Nick thought he had seen anger in them.
“You were recording us? Check your other pockets!” he ordered him.
Nick checked his right pocket and pulled out a police badge.
“I am a cop? Wow! Nice!”
“Traitor!” AJ yelled pointing his gun at him, making Nick throw everything to the floor and put his hands in the air.
“What the hell is happening?” Kevin asked.
“Nick is a traitor. He is a pig!”
“Hey don’t you dare to call him a pig. You don’t want me talking about you AJ!”
AJ rolled his eyes still aiming his gun at Nick.
“Pig is a term we use to refer to police officers Kevin,” Howie explained to him. “We are bad guys, remember?”
“Oh okay then… So you are a cop? Not cool Nick” Kevin aimed his gun at him too shaking his head.
“I didn’t know. I would never betray you guys.”
“Okay Kevin he didn’t know,” Brian tried to intercede.
“It’s not that simple Brian. He is a cop, a traitor.”
Brian took a deep breath. “Yes, I guess you are right. Does it mean that we will have to kill him?” Brian pointed his gun at Nick too.
“What? Brian! You can’t do that! It’s me, your Frack.”
“Sorry Nick but you have to die.” Kevin said taking a step ahead. “Put your guns away guys. I’ll take care of this.”
“No! You wouldn’t do it. I’m your baby brother.”
“This is the mafia Nick. I have killed two brothers already.”
“Yes. Sam and Charles who used to be in the group.”
*Music theme for bad guys in movies and close up to every pair of eyes*
“Huh?” Kevin looked up.
Writer: Just go on, Kevin.
“Help!” Nick yelled.
Kevin pulled the trigger back. Behind him, Brian, Howie and AJ were smiling witnessing the scene.
Suddenly Kevin turned around.
“Why the hell are you smiling?”
“He is your brother. Aren’t you supposed to defend him?”
“Well you are the one who wants to kill him.” Brian answered.
“And he isn’t really my brother.”
Kevin seemed to consider what AJ had just said and turned around to face Nick again. He lifted his gun and aimed it at his heart but didn’t shoot.
“Time out” he shouted putting the gun down again.
Writer: Ugh! You and your times out. Why don’t you go with the story for once? Is that too much to ask?
“Of course not.” He brought his hand to his heart. “You are so right; forgive me for being so thoughtless. Let me kill my little brother so you can keep on with your story. ARE YOU INSANE? I’M NOT KILLING NICK!” Kevin was beyond mad now.
“You aren’t?” Nick said taking a seat on the floor. “Thank God.”
“Of course I’m not little man.”
“Well you fooled me for a moment. What the hell was all that?”
“Sorry Nick, you know it wasn’t us saying those things.” Brian said walking to him and after taking a seat at his side hugging him.
“Well he really isn’t my brother.”
“Shut up AJ!”
“I’m tired of you playing with us. This has gone too far. You made me point a gun at my little brother.” Kevin was still yelling at the sky.
Writer: Yada, yada, yada. And you ruined it once again. All you do is complain and not collaborate with me.
“How do you want us to collaborate if you keep writing us in the most horrible situations?”
“Yes, since we are in this I think we should choose the scene for once.”
Writer: Since when do the characters choose the story AJ?
“Since the author can’t come up with a single good idea.”
Writer: I have great ideas but you keep ruining them. Okay, you think you can do a better job? What do you want? Give me a good AU.
“How about firefighters?” AJ said the first thing that crossed his mind.
Writer: Not that bad. I can do that. Have a big explosion. One of you can die saving the others.
“Wait! Did I say firefighters? I meant accountants.”
“Can you think of anything less dangerous?” AJ whispered to Brian
“But I don’t like math,” Nick complained
“Okay firefighters and he is the one dying.” AJ pointed to Nick.
Writer: You are kidding right? Who wants to see you as accountants?
“Well I’m sure no one has done it before, you would be the first one. Don’t you want to be original? Get recognition?”
Writer: I don’t know, unless… Yeah that could work.
“Unless what? What could work?”
Writer: I think I have an idea.
“I usually don’t like your ideas,” AJ said already regretting having said accountants.
Writer: I could have one of you going to jail for defrauding a client. Yes! That definitely could work.
“Okay wait. I’m too pretty for going to jail.” Nick growled.
“And isn’t that Shawshank Redemption?” Kevin asked.
“How about gardeners?”
Writer: Now you are just saying the first thing that comes to your head Brian.
“No, really, a gardening story would be good.”
Writer: I think I prefer the accountant in jail one or the firefighters one or… yes I have another idea.
“Great another one of your ideas.”
“What?” he asked before everything got dark.
“Thank you very much AJ” Kevin said. “Why did you had to start giving her ideas?” They were spinning in the air like they were in the middle of a hurricane.
“You think she is bringing us to Oz?” Nick yelled watching a blurry new scene emerging in front of them.
“Ahhhhhh!!!!!” They fell to the floor really hard and as soon as they looked around Brian and Nick started to laugh hysterically.
“Damn! A circus? You are fucking kidding me! A circus?”
“Look at your red noses.” Nick was laughing so hard that tears were falling down his face.
“No, look at Kevin’s pants. And Howie shoes!” Brian was practically rolling on the floor laughing. Howie, Kevin and AJ on the other hand, were looking at them annoyed in their clown outfits. “Hey Nick” Brian managed to say roaring with laughter. “Why don’t you have a red nose? We all have those.”
“I don’t know but I’m happy not to be a clown like you guys.”
“How is that even possible?” AJ complained pointing to Nick. He was so pissed off. “He is already the biggest clown.”
Writer: I have another job waiting for him… He will be the lion tamer.
“What?” Nick stopped laughing immediately. “No way!”
Writer: Yes way. This is perfect and nobody has done it before. See we have humor, drama, suspense, everything.
“A fucking circus! Where’s the drama or the suspense in a fucking circus?”
“AJ, calm down” Brian placed a hand over AJ’s shoulder. He wasn’t laughing anymore and was worried at what could happen if AJ and Kevin kept insulting the writer.
Writer: You will all be hiding your real personas under the circus façade. I’ll give you troubled pasts. Someone could be an assassin, someone else an undercover cop investigating a crime. At the end the murderer would end up in jail and…
“There’s the jail mention again.” Kevin covered his face with his hand and shook his head. “I give up.”
Writer: Okay give me a better idea.
“You are the writer. You are supposed to have your own ideas.”
Writer: If I change the story you have to promise me that you would accept whatever I choose.
“Anything will be better than having this red nose on my face” AJ shouted. The next thing he knew he was alone in a dark room.
“Another dark place? What’s with you and dark places?” AJ said to the ceiling noticing for the first time the horrible smell surrounding him. He heard a sound in the corner and pointed his lantern to it.
“Well at least I have a lantern,” he said directing the light to the exact place where the sound came just to see a rat looking at him.
“Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!! A rat! Okay I take it back. I prefer the red nose and the circus.”
Writer: Too late. You are such a coward.
“I am not.” He was trying to calm down breathing in and out. After a couple of minutes he directed his lantern’s light to his own clothes trying to find out a little more about the story.
“Okay where I am? CSI? Cool, I guess. But where are the other guys?”
Writer: You think I will have you together all the time in this AU. To tell you the truth I’m really getting tired of you so I’m thinking of making a story with just one of you from now on. Maybe two instead of the whole group.
Writer: Watch me. I don’t know maybe I’ll let one of the other guys play the murderer or the body.
“Where are my brothers? Bring them back right now!”
“Or I will sit here and won’t do anything.” He was about to sit down when he not only noticed that the entire floor was dampened and dirty but remembered the rat too. “Yes, like I said, I will stand right here and won’t do anything. It will be a very boring story”
Writer: I can make you dance if I want. *Starts to play N’Sync music*
“Ahhhhh! Not that! Okay, maybe you can make me do whatever you want, but you know I’ll keep complaining.”
Writer: You are so annoying. I guess I can always keep writing a group fanfic.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!” The other four boys fell to the floor with a very big thud.
“Was that necessary?!” Kevin yelled.
“Having us fall to the floor every time. You never did that before this chapter.”
Writer: No, it’s not necessary but its fun.
“Eeeeek a rat!” Howie jumped into Nick’s arms.
“D we are CSI detectives. You can’t be afraid of a little rat.” AJ said to Howie who was now on the floor kicking Nick’s legs for throwing him there.
Write: Well didn’t you…
“Did you say CSI detectives, AJ? So we went from injured people to dead people? I don’t think I can stand it.”
“Come on guys. This can be good. Those CSI shows are great. Let’s try to have fun.”
“AJ, the word ‘fun’ never goes together with the words ‘dead people’. And I can’t have fun with a rat looking at me. I think it winked at me.”
“Howie stop complaining or she will change everything again and I really don’t want to risk us going into another AU. It could be much worse than this, I’m sure. So start working.”
“Okay. Whatever you say.”
“Now, we will separate ourselves to look for clues. Brian and Nick you go to the first floor. Howie and I will check the next room.”
“Are you the boss now?”
“You know what? I think I am. And I like it.” AJ grinned.
“What about me?” Kevin asked.
“You,” AJ said pointing his lantern to the door. 5 pairs of eyes followed the light to a man’s body lying right in the entry of the room. Not having seen it before all the guys almost yelled at the creepy crime scene, but quickly regained composure getting into their CSI roles. “You will check the body Kevin. Haven’t you noticed your tag?”
“My tag? Kevin asked looking down and illuminating it with his lantern so he could read it. “Kevin Richardson ME,” he read aloud.
“Yep, you are a medical examiner not a detective like we are.”
Writer: Didn’t you want a doctor’s robe Kevin. A nice white one is waiting for you in the laboratory.”
Kevin’s face got red from anger hearing the others laugh but he tried to control himself.
“Well, he said walking to the body. At least I’m part of the CSI team and considering that CSI is one of my favorite shows, fine with me.”
“CSI is one of your favorite shows?” Nick stopped laughing.
“Well, that’s not fair.” They all looked at him. “First Brian and ER and now you. Why can’t we do my favorite show?”
“Which is?” Brian asked.
Writer: Hey, I like that idea.
Next thing they knew they were in the Wild West riding horses and wearing cowboy suits.
“Great Nick” AJ rode next to him and hit him on the head “Why can’t you just keep your big mouth shut! You have to… Damn, I just remembered something.”
“I can’t ride,” he yelled trying to control his horse with the other boys laughing at him.
“I won’t survive here,” Howie suddenly said once AJ managed to make his horse stop galloping.
“Are you crying Howie?”
“My hair. They didn’t have real bathrooms in the Wild West, nor toiletries. My poor hair. How am I supposed to survive in a time where there was no hair cream or blow-dryers?” he sobbed. “Please,” he said to the sky. “Can we just go to the next chapter? This has been already too long and I don’t think my hair can take this dry weather anymore.”
The sky ignored him because, like ceilings, the sky didn’t speak.
The other guys let out chuckles just when they were entering a town.
“Is it me or people are running after looking at us?” AJ asked.
“Well maybe your face scares them.”
“Ha ha, Nick. Okay did you hear that?”
“I swear someone yelled ‘the Carters are coming’?
“The Carters? Okay the only Carter is me, that makes no sense.” Nick smiled at a little girl who was waving at him but the next minute her mother picked her up and ran into a house. “Why are people acting that way?”
“Its like they are afraid of us.”
“Let’s stop here” Kevin said dismounting in front of the typical western saloon in a corner of the town. It had the swinging doors and a big window that let them see a lot of people looking nervously at them from inside. Kevin walked calmly to the bar, his gorgeous face hidden under the cowboy hat he was wearing to protect himself from the midday sun. It was a very hot day so he unbuttoned his shirt a little, showing part of his big, strong sweaty chest. The shirt was black too, same as the tight pants that let everyone appreciate his muscular legs and his…
“Excuse me!” Kevin had stopped and was looking to the sky.
Writer: Cough, cough. Sohekeptwalkingtothesaloon.
“Take care of the horses, Nick,” Kevin said after shaking his head to the sky.
“Because I say so.”
“Is he the boss again?” Nick whispered to AJ.
“Well this is the wild west. Back there age was really important.”
“Hurry up Nick!” Kevin ordered.
“Damn! And then he doesn’t understand why we are happy when he can’t be the boss.” Nick muttered under his breath walking back to the horses. He was about to take care of them, even if he didn’t have a real idea of what that meant, when he heard steps approaching.
“Are you the Carter brothers?” Nick looked up to find a blonde guy who couldn’t be older than him. He was really skinny and wearing very dirty clothes and a brown cowboy hat.
“Carter brothers?” Brian asked.
“Nick don’t laugh.”
“Well I guess you just accepted it” the guy kept talking. “He is Nick Carter and you are Kevin Carter. And I am challenging you to a duel.”
“Me?” Kevin asked and the guy nodded.
“We are brothers now?” Howie asked.
“I guess since it’s an AU anything can happen.”
“Aren’t we too different to be brothers? I mean, we don’t look alike at all.”
Writer: Have you stopped to think that maybe you had the same father but different mothers. Besides, you don’t look so different now that you all have dark hair.
“Dark hair? What do you mean by that?” Nick asked taking off his hat and trying to pull his hair to his eyes so he could see it. Just then he noticed Brian taking off his hat too to reveal very dark hair under it. “Ahhhh! Is my hair that color? I had just dyed it again! Do you have any idea the work it takes to keep my hair blond for my fans?”
“Relax Nick, you are acting like Howie.” AJ told him.
“Why Carters?” Kevin asked.
Writer: You don’t look like Kevin Dorough.
“I look like Kevin Richardson. I like my last name.”
Writer: Howie Richardson? Sorry but it sounds too funny.
“Howie sounds funny with any last name the problem is not the last name there but the first name.”
“Sorry bro but it’s the truth.”
The guy was getting nervous watching the brothers discuss. Some of them were talking to the sky like there was someone there. Maybe that’s why they are so dangerous. They are all crazy. “Okay,” he spoke up again “Are you accepting the challenge or maybe you aren’t as brave as people say?”
“Aren’t you the oldest one? The boss?”
“Yes! He is the boss; good old’ Kevin here is the boss.” AJ patted him on the back.
“Right” Nick started to laugh. “He is our big bro. He is the boss.”
“Idiots.” Kevin told them, but not seeing another option he took a deep breath and walked to the center of the dusty street with the skinny guy behind him.
“Guys” Nick said. “Do you think Kevin can win? I was just joking. I don’t want someone killing him.” Nick was panicking watching the two men taking their positions for the duel. He looked at Brian, AJ and Howie and knew that they were thinking the same thing… should they intervene or just wait for something unexpected to happen like so many times before? Be back next saturday with the lyrical chapter by Mersey
Screenplay, Suicidal Challenger and the Return of the Poster Girl
The Lyrical chapter
When we left them in the AU chapter, Kevin was about to face the duel. The boys, knowing that there wasn’t much they could do to help Kevin, stood their ground and watched nervously. This was also the time for Kevin to realize that unlike the previous chapters, he wasn’t blessed with the 101 skills to fire a gun.
They were living on borrowed time now, hoping that time would stand still, if that was the only way not to lose Kevin in a show down.
In a last ditch effort, Brian gathered the guys in a circle as Kevin stood still.
“Close your eyes,” Brian told Howie, AJ and Nick. “make a wish, this could last forever.”
The guys nodded and did as told.
“I wish it’s me instead.” Nick cried as he felt up his own tight jeans. It looked like he was pinching his own butt, which got AJ curious.
“No, it’s not your fault.” Brian said, patting his shoulder. Nick just shook his head while still struggling with his own pants.
AJ intervened and bravely moved forward. “I would take the fall!”
Kevin turned and looked at AJ. He held his hand out to prevent him from coming any nearer. “No, I can’t let you!”
Howie pushed AJ aside, his hair already in a mess. “Take my life!” He said dramatically. Life would mean nothing without hair cream anyway, he thought. “Cause I’ve got nothing left!”
Kevin looked up to the sky. “Hey, can I take a break?”
Writer: You know what? Be my guest.
“Thanks.” Kevin said and then walked away from the duel to touch Howie’s shoulder like all big brothers do when their little brothers were feeling down. “Hey, never give up,” He said and then touched Howie’s grisly hair. “and don’t let it wear out.” This, for some reason, annoyed AJ, who had taken his cowboy hat off and began to scratch his head.
Howie grabbed Kevin in a hug. “I can’t ever let you go.”
“Don’t say a word.” Kevin said as he looked over to his brothers, tears now threatening to spill. “Sure part of this place would cheer if I die, but don’t let them take away your beautiful smile.”
The mushy conversation riled the challenger. He was fed up with having to wait for them to say their never ending goodbyes.
“That’s it!” He said as he drew his gun. “I’m not waiting for this crap! It’s already so sad that you’re talking in lyrics now!”
“So that’s what you’ve been up to!” Brian yelled at the sky. “No wonder we were barely making sense!”
“I think I’ve got a wedgie…” Nick said as he struggled with his pants. He almost shoved his hand down his pants when kids who were hiding started to giggle and stopped him from doing so.
AJ went to Howie and made him look at his head. “Do you see any rash up there? It’s itching!”
“Oh my god!” Howie panicked, running his fingers through his own hair.
Writer: You’re not allowed to talk unless they are your lyrics so shut the hell up!
“No no, uh uh!” Brian protested, almost singing the lyrics out. “I don’t wanna be part of your screenplay!”
Writer: It’s the LYRICS chapter, jeez! Screenplay will come soon.
Kevin looked at his challenger and drew his own gun but paused to look up at the sky. “Gimme the story, who’s to win, me or him?”
Writer: Well…it’d probably be you who wins.
“I got a feeling you ain’t true to me.” Kevin said.
Writer: Oh well, your loss then.
Kevin was about to take his shot when a girl appeared out of nowhere. Nick was hoping that it was Nicky but was upset when this girl turned out to be a brunette and adorned in a cowboy suit, a sexy cowboy suit.
“Jodie?” Nick asked as he pulled on the waistband of his underwear.
“Poster Girl?” Brian asked.
“I’m falling in love.” AJ salivated although still scratching his head like a monkey. This turned Jodie off, so she turned to find Howie.
Howie wasn’t paying her much attention; he was still touching his hair. “I’m DYING in this hell!”
She shook her head and went back to look at Brian, who seemed to be the only one who was acting normal. Kevin was out of the question. Men with guns didn’t attract her attention. Men with money, now that was her cup of tea.
“So why the heck am I here anyway? I was riding through alphabet city minding my own damn business!”
Writer: Sorry, you’re a last minute back up plan and I put you in a sexy cowboy outfit. Anyway, work your charm and no complaining!
“Hello boys.” Jodie cooed as she smacked her long whip. AJ almost dropped to his knees and proposed but he was still scratching like a mad man to go that far.
“Who are you?” Kevin asked, again stepping out of the duel.
The challenger gave out an exasperated sigh. He hated to have to wait on people which was why he quit his job as a waiter in the first place, plus, the tips were bad! He got so tired and frustrated by the whole thing that he shot himself in the head and died.
Nick walked forward awkwardly, as if there was a huge rock stuck in his butt and tapped Kevin on the shoulder. “Jodie, the right now Poster Girl.”
Kevin offered a handshake and then studied her closely. “Are you still the same, or did you change somehow?”
“I don’t know Kevin,” Jodie said. “I’m just here to save you all.”
“There’s no where left to run.” Kevin told her as he looked around them. People were all coming out of their hiding spots, each with looks of hatred on their faces. Whatever it was that they had done, it was definitely not a good thing.
“Yes there is.” Jodie said. She pointed to something at their back and the guys turned around quickly.
It was a door with a sign that said ‘Place to Hide’.
Howie grabbed Jodie in a hug, pleased to know that he wouldn’t be stuck in a Western flick forever and suffer bad hair days. “I wanna thank you for what you’ve done!”
“The Perfect Fan!” Brian cheered as he went for a hug as well. Jodie didn’t have the heart to tell him that she wasn’t a fan.
AJ put on his charm and sashayed his way to Jodie. Scratching his head, he bowed. “B is for beautiful as the sunshine,” AJ said. “I wanna thank you, my beautiful woman.”
Jodie saw the flakes that were falling off AJ’s almost non existent hair and cringed. “That’s nasty AJ.”
AJ smirked. “That’s the way I like it!”
Kevin gave Jodie a hug and was glad that for once, the writer was good to him and didn’t kill him off.
Kevin looked at the sky and whispered, “Forgive my honesty, but you’re no good for me.”
Writer: So you want me to kill you instead? I can always rewrite this and cancel Jodie off you know…
Kevin gulped, offered a smile and said, “I’m sorry…over words I said…can you forgive me?”
Writer: *Yawns* Be thankful that I still need you (writer goes weird cause she just quoted a lyric), so I won’t kill you off. Besides, the tall blonde one will not stop sulking if I kill you off.
Kevin released Jodie from his hug and walked over to the door; letting Nick say his goodbye to Jodie. This was rather difficult to do as the index finger of his left hand was now entangled with the waistband of his underwear.
“Even though for now we have to say goodbye, I will see you somewhere down the road again.” He tried to hug her but his finger was in the way.
“Aww Nicky, come here you.” Jodie said and gave him a huge hug. Nick almost melted in her arms. “And I’ll take you on a ride through alphabet city when we meet again.”
Nick nodded and was now almost crawling over to the guys. Cowboy outfits just weren’t cut out for him.
Once Nick had reached them and AJ was less annoying with the scratches, they all looked at each other, wondering if they should really go through that door, not knowing what would greet them there.
“Gotta take the chance while we can.” Brian shrugged.
“We got to understand the plan,” Kevin said as he pointed towards the sky as a hint. “Everything must change.”
“It’s a weird world.” AJ scratched.
“Don’t you know it.” Nick said in a very high pitched voice. He had pulled on his pants too tight and too high.
“So…just get to moving on.” Howie said as he reached for the doorknob and turned it. The door creaked open. Closing his eyes, he took the first jump, knowing the other guys would jump right along.
Sorry no picture to this one :O( lol Mare will be back next Saturday with the musical chapter
The Hills are alive….and it’s terrifying…. with penguins and Gus and Howie who wants to sing….
~The musical chapter by Mare~
Kevin: (shaking the dirt off of his now normal looking pants) Well that was interesting…for a minute there I thought I was a goner.
Nick: (Squatting trying to adjust himself in his jeans) I knew she wasn’t going to actually kill you off; I’ll miss Jodie, too bad she couldn’t come with us.
AJ: So where the heck are we? (Walking around still scratching his head)
Howie: Not sure, it kind of looks like…
Brian: Maybe we’re back home?
Howie: (looking over at Brian annoyed for being interrupted) Why would you say that?
Brian: Because it seems normal enough, looks like we’re in a park or something.
Kevin: (walks over and sits down on the bench) Yeah but Bri, by now we have to realize normalcy isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.
Nick: Whoa Kevin…you just totally rhymed dude.
AJ: (Speaking to Nick) It really doesn’t take very much to amuse you at all does it?
Nick: Nope….ooh a yellow string! (Nick bats his string and walks away)
Kevin: (stands up and in one leap jumps up on the bench) Now why did I just do that?
AJ: Where is that music coming from? You hear that?
Nick: (Looking up at the sky) Lord not the porn music again!
Nick: Nothing…never mind…yes AJ good question where is that music coming from?
AJ: I have an even better question, where did Kevin get the top hat?
(Everyone looks over at Kevin who is now wearing a top hat and tuxedo)
Normalcy ain’t what it’s cracked up to be
As sung by Kevin
Do chickens have wings?
Does Tinkerbell sing?
Do pigs play ping pong in a hall?
Do elevators ding?
Do telephones ring?
Normalcy is the answer to them all.
(Starts tap dancing with a cane that flies out of nowhere)
Normalcy ain’t what it’s cracked up to be…
People will think it’s a boring place you see
Normalcy…ain’t what it’s cracked up to be…
Ask that chinchilla swinging from a tree.
(Chinchilla comes down and lands on AJ’s head.)
AJ: What the fuck? Get this stupid thing off of me!!!
Do little girls play with dolls? (Brian jumps up on bench on one side of Kevin)
Brian: Yes they do
Do beavers build things with logs? (Nick jumps up on bench on the other side of Kevin) Nick: you know it’s true
Do fairytales ever come true? (All boys look at Howie) Howie: Um…I have no idea?
AJ what about you? (Everyone looks at AJ who is still fighting with the chinchilla.)
AJ: Do these fucking things bite?
Normalcy ain’t what it’s cracked up to be….
People will think it’s a boring place you see?
(Kevin jumps off the bench and walks over placing his hand on Howie)
So here’s the deal oh Howie woo woo woooooooooo
(All the boys except AJ gather around Howie)
Backstreet Boys and normal…do not dooooo
Gus: At the end of the song everyone looked at Howie who seemed really confused about what was going on.
Howie: Kevin what in the holy hell was that all about?
Kevin: I have no idea, but it was cool.
Howie: It made no sense (looks up at the sky) That song made no sense.
Writer: Howie have you ever been in a musical before?
Howie: Of course I have.
Writer: Good then you realize that sometimes people burst into songs that sometimes make no sense; I mean seriously do you not realize how some of your lyrics make no sense?
Kevin: So this is a musical chapter then?
Kevin: Cool! Thanks for giving me the first song!
Writer: No problem.
AJ: Fuck it all to hell! Is that damn thing going to give me rabies?
Gus: AJ said when finally the chinchilla jumped off his head and climbed back up the tree.
Brian: J all the cussing isn’t really necessary.
Kevin: Yeah seriously AJ
Nick: Yup not appropriate at all.
AJ: Nick what the hell are you talking about? You fucking cuss as much if not MORE than I do!
Brian: Seriously AJ…enough.
I can cuss if I want too
As sung by AJ
AJ: cool! Now this I like…cue music!
I can cuss if I want too…I can leave all cares behind
Because If I don’t cuss that would really suck and knock me on my behind…
I can cuss if I want too…because I have my own will
And if you don’t like it… well then you can all go straight to hell
I Can say shit
I Can say damn
It’s all under control
I Can say fuck
I Can say shmuck
Go suck on your big toe
I can say shit
I can say damn
No one’s gonna care
I can say suck this
I can say fuck this
I wish I had hair!
Writer: Well you do don’t you?
AJ: I guess…Anyway where was I?
Writer: You can cuss if you want to.
I can cuss if I want to so you all need to back off!
If I want to cuss then I’m going to cuss you can’t tell me off!
I can cuss if I want to and that’s the final word
Give me some guff and I’ll tell you off and then flip you the bird!!!!
Nick: That was a great song AJ
AJ: Fuck yeah!
Brian: Enough with the cussing!
AJ: Did you not just listen to the song? I mean I can sing it again if you want?
Kevin: So…two odd songs later and we still don’t really know what’s going on here. I mean do we leave and move along? What do you guys think?
Howie: I’m not sure…maybe we should wait for some kind of sign?
Brian: What kind of a sign?
Howie: (Jumps up on the bench) well let me tell you…cue music (points to the air)
Writer: um…Howie, you don’t have a song.
Howie: But…I thought that if…I mean I can sing a song about a sign from above?
Howie: But Kevin got a song.
Writer: Step away from the bench.
Howie: (Sighs and jumps down off the bench.) This isn’t fair.
Nick: (walks over to Howie and puts an arm around him) Awe D, don’t be sad let me cheer you up.
Kevin: Nick what the heck are you wearing brother?
Brian: Oh this should be very interesting.
Nick: (looks down to see he is in a penguin costume) Um…I’m about to sing a cute song aren’t I?
Gus: Nick said rolling his eyes.
Howie: Now wait a minute how come Nick gets a song?
Writer: Would you rather be dressed like the penguin?
Howie: Okay good point…Nick sing away…go ahead cheer me up I’m waiting.
Time to laugh and smile with glee…
Sung by Nick
Nick: Okay I’m not singing a song with the word glee in it.
Writer: cue music!
Nick: perhaps you didn’t hear me the first time...but I’m not singing a song with the word glee in it.
Writer: What word?
Glee….glee…glee, it rhymes with tree tree tree
My cup of tea tea tea…makes me ha pee pee pee
Nick: Quit that! You totally just tricked me into singing that!
Brian: Nick that was nothing you were also flapping your wings and spinning around in circles.
Nick: Okay that’s it a quit!
Writer: Oh don’t be a party pooper you enjoy laughing don’t you?
Nick: Yes I love to laugh
Getting down on one knee knee knee…
Nick: Ahhh stop doing that! And for your information, Penguins don’t even have knees! And now that I’m down here I can’t get the hell back up again! A little help!!! Guys stop laughing and help!
Kevin: (runs to help Nick up but still laughing as he’s rolling back and forth) I’m sorry little man, you just look…
AJ: Like a drunk penguin (AJ and Brian high five as Kevin gets Nick back on his feet.)
Nick: Thanks Kevin, it’s nice to know someone cares. (Gives the rest of the guys a look)
Gus: Nick waddled back to the bench and sat next to Howie…feet sticking in the air as Howie tried his hardest to control his laughter.
Oh Howie D…can’t you see...all I want to do is make you smile
So please cheer up, give me a wink and will you sing with meeeeeeeeeeee….
Nick: I’m not going back to the glee thing again. Not gonna do it!
Writer: Do what?
Nick: sing with…
Glee glee glee…it rhymes with tree tree tree
It’s my cup of tea tea tea oh can’t you see see see
(Stands up with trouble until Howie steadies him)
Life is just a bowl of cherries; everything should be all happy and merry
So next time when you’re down sing with me…
Everything should be filled with glee…(Fireworks go off behind him as his little wings go up on the air)
AJ: (to writer) Dude… I will pay you like a million bucks if you make him sing that again, or better yet if you give ME the power to make him sing that when he is acting like a little butt!
Kevin: Okay as much as we’d all enjoy watching Nick make a fool of himself once again…
Kevin: There are more important matters at hand.
Brian: Maybe if we just start walking that way?
Gus: Brian said pointing towards the direction of the sun, waiting for everyone to answer him one way or the other.
AJ: Sounds like a good plan Rok
Brian: Thanks man, I was always told by my parents, when in doubt follow the sun.
Howie: (pouting) Why do I feel another song coming on?
Follow the Sun
Sung by Brian
Brian: cue music!
Howie: See? I knew it! SO unfair!
When I was young and thought that life was so simple
Minutes seemed like hours to me….
I’d lay under the shade of big oak tree
And daydream of how life’s supposed to be.
Closing my eyes I saw pictures
Of the way my life used to be.
I never thought that this would happen
To me………to me
(Squirrels, bunnies, and the chinchilla all come from behind the bench and start singing background ooo’s)
No matter what direction you may be going
Just follow the sun and you will reach your dreams
Chorus of animals: Reach your dreams….
AJ: If that chinchilla comes by me again someone’s turning into a coat!
Chinchilla: (Shows teeth) hisssssss
(AJ hides behind Kevin)
Kevin: (To writer) You have NO idea what a chinchilla is do you?
Brian: (annoyed) Do you mind? I’m singing the meaningful ballad over here!
Howie: (muttering under his breath) Of course YOU are.
Life can really hit you hard sometimes
Animals: Yes it can…
But how you choose to deal is up to you.
Animals: You know it’s true…
So keep your eyes always on the prize…
Nick: eyes on prize….
Brian: What the heck? Why are you singing with me now?
Nick: I’m still dressed like a penguin dude…speaking of which (To writer) when is that going to change? Hello? Hello?
And make sure you follow through
All animals and a random Nick: Follow through…
No matter what direction you may be going
Just follow the sun and you will reach your dreams
Chorus of animals: Reach your dreams….
Kevin: That was beautiful cousin.
Nick: I’d still very much like to remedy the penguin situation.
AJ: (finally coming from behind Kevin once the chinchilla climbed back up the tree) yeah that was really sweet and all but it didn’t really make sense OR answer our which way do we go question.
Kevin: AJ you idiot…we are supposed to follow the sun!
AJ: Was the name calling really necessary?
Brian: Well the sun is pointing that way (points west) so I say we head that way.
Nick: I’m not going anywhere until SOMEONE let’s me get out of this penguin costume! You know it would have made more sense to have Brian in this outfit since he sang with the animals.
Kevin: Nick stop being a baby and just deal with it!
Nick: Oh it’s easy for you to say! Maybe she should make you be a cactus then you’ll know!
AJ: (to Nick) well at least she didn’t have a chinchilla attack your ass!
Nick: He was probably afraid of the costume…maybe you should put AJ in the penguin get up.
Writer: Fine enough with the penguin costume there ya go!
Nick: (looks down to see his clothes again) Thanks!
Gus: While the boys argued they didn’t notice a very quiet and sulking Howie D remaining on the bench.
Brian: oooh right, hey Howie what’s up with you now?
Howie: I am feeling left out.
Kevin: Why D?
Howie: Because everyone got a song but me and that always happens.
Brian: (to writer) can we get rid of the awwwing animals? It’s kind of creeping me out.
Howie: Hello? We were focusing on me and why I’m sad remember?
Brian, animals and writer: awwww
Gus: (walks over to Howie and sits down) Howie, sometimes not everyone always gets what they want. You know the road is hard and long but you are appreciated by so many people.
(Orchestra starts to play and Gus stands up as a spotlight shines on him)
You are loved
Sung by Gus
Howie: Okay wait a minute now this is getting ridiculous (orchestra gets louder) AHH stop playing I’m trying to talk over here! (Orchestra crescendo’s once again and Gus opens his mouth to start singing) Okay quit it!! (Howie takes off his shoe and throws it at the conductor’s head so he puts down his baton and the orchestra stops abruptly)
Conductor: That hurt!
Gus: I was just about to sing my song.
Howie: Uh…I don’t mean to be rude or anything but who the hell are you anyway? I mean it’s been almost an entire chapter you have been here with us and no one has even asked what you were doing here.
Gus: I’m Gus.
Howie: Yeah that part I get but why are you here?
Gus: Well someone has to narrate the chapter, that’s my job.
Howie: Fine but then why do YOU even get a song when all you should be doing is narrating?
Gus: (getting defensive) You know, when I took this gig, I didn’t think I’d have to deal with all this animosity….it’s not easy being a narrator, no one cares about the narrator. (Starts crying) Know what I’m outta here! I hope you’re happy now! (Gets on a chicken and rides away)
Nick: I really think this writer has an unhealthy bird fascination.
Brian: Why do you say that?
Nick: Dude…attack duck ring a bell? Me dressed as a penguin…riding off into the sunset on a chicken?
Brian: True…good point, but now what?
AJ: Where the hell did the damn chinchilla come in then?
Kevin: I don’t think she knows what a chinchilla is.
Howie: Well now that Gus is gone there still needs to be a song sung right? (Staring up at the sky to answer him) Well?
Writer: Fine…now that you have hurt Gus’ feelings go ahead and sing his stupid song.
You are loved
Sung by Howie
(Howie excitedly stands up on the bench as the orchestra starts to play)
You are loved…
Kevin: Hey guys I found another door!
AJ: It’s about Fucking time that chinchilla was giving me looks again!
Nick: All right back in business let’s blow this taco stand.
Howie: Damn! (To writer) You think you’re really funny don’t you?
Writer: I try.
Nick: Let’s go D…I think I see a beautiful woman waiting for us.
Kevin: Oh no not another lyrics chapter.
AJ: Is she riding a chicken?
AJ: Well at least we know it’s not this one again.
Howie: (As he’s being pushed through the door) I wanted to sing that damn song!!
Hehehe, poor Howie I heart him but i'm being SO mean to him in this one. ..anyway, Marina will be back next week with the romance chapter lol Thanks as always for the great reviews! We appreciate it!
Love is in the air… *Sprays Lysol*
~The Romance chapter by (Just) Marina~
“So, where’s the girl?” Howie asked when AJ closed the door, finding himself in a dark place again. “Great, another cave!”
“No, it’s not a cave. I think it’s a tunnel.”
“Yes,” Kevin pointed at something and Howie realized the place wasn’t so dark since he could see… hmmm Kevin pointing at something. “See, there’s light on the other side, just the way the girl went. I saw her too. We have to go after her. We just have to get there.”
“Okay” AJ shrugged to Kevin’s insistence, but then it was Kevin, he took everything too seriously.
“I don’t take everything too seriously, AJ.”
“I didn’t say anything man, it was the writer.”
“Come on guys, no time for fighting,” Nick interrupted. “Let’s check what’s on the other side.”
They started to walk in the direction of the tunnel’s exit.
“Ahem hmmm Kevin? Why are you holding my hand, dude? Wait! Brian? Okay what’s going on here? Why are you guys holding my hands?” AJ was trying to release himself from his brothers’ grip.
“Because we can do this together,” Brian replied matter-of-factly.
“Yes, we have to do it together.” Kevin added starting to jump in a way that reminded AJ of Dorothy and the other dumb characters from that Oz movie. What was worse is that now he was jumping too since all the boys were doing the same.
“We have to reach the other side together,” Nick singsonged.
“Yes, we can do it!” AJ shouted out, suddenly embracing the happiness of the moment too.
“I’m not embracing anything, but if don’t jump I will fall to the floor since these idiots are yanking on me.”
Writer: Oh hush and sing.
“Sing? So there’s one more song left?” Howie was ecstatic. “Yes! I will have another chance to sing.” Song: We can do it together
Sung by all
Kevin: We can do this together
We can reach the other side
We can do this together
Leave this nightmare behind
Brian: Hand on hand we will do it
Nick: Like the brothers we are
AJ: Hand on hand we keep walking
Nick (talking and interrupting the song): Are you sure that’s a light?
“Noooooo!!!!” Howie screamed. “Why did you have to ruin the song just before my turn to sing, Nick?!”
“Sorry Howie but it went dark for a second and I got confused.”
“Someone walked in front of the tunnel’s entrance that’s why it went dark, Nick.” Brian explained to him.
“It was my turn to sing.” Howie sobbed.
“Oh stop complaining D. Look we reached the entrance, exit or whatever you call it.”
The sound of claps took the boys by surprise.
“Who is clapping?” A scared Brian asked looking around.
“It sounds like a lot of people doing it.” Kevin was looking around too, trying to find where the sound was coming from.
“Guys we are still on the musical chapter? You know what this could mean?”
Kevin looked at AJ and immediately understood what he was thinking.
“Yes! If people are clapping now it has to be the end, right?”
“And look at this guys,” Brian called to them. He had walked to the side and was now in front of some kind of climbing plant that seemed to be on every single wall.
“What is it, Brian?”
On the wall, next to the entrance, which was partially illuminated by the light coming into the tunnel, there was a pink thing covered by all kind of flowers and leaves. The flowers didn’t let the boys see the sign clearly at first but when Brian pulled out a rose two words became exposed.
“Does that sign say ‘the end’?” Nick asked.
“Yes, it does” Kevin smiled.
“So this could be the end?”
“Lets find out!” AJ was the first one to cross the gate, followed closely by the other boys. The first thing they noticed was they were in a parking lot, in front of a big building and the tunnel had suddenly disappeared. “Oh my god we are back again!”
“Great another song where I don’t have a solo,” Howie complained.
“I’m not singing you idiot. I’m saying that we are back.”
“What do you mean?”
“We are at Jive’s headquarters.”
“Yes, we are free.”
“And check it out!” Kevin pointed to the blue BMW minivan next to them. “That’s your car, Brian. I remember we were driving it before this nightmare with the tree on the road started.”
“Yes, I remember it too.” Brian said hugging his car.
“So it’s over? Did she let us go?” Nick asked.
They were still debating when they noticed a man approaching to them.
“Johnny! Johnny!” They yelled and ran to their manager to hug him. “We missed you man. This crazy writer or writers kidnapped us and made us go from one genre to another.”
They were all talking at the same time so it took Johnny some time to calm them down.
“Guys, are you okay? You are not making sense at all. You didn’t make up this weird story just to have more free days, right?”
“Of course not. We can’t wait to go back to work.”
“Great, because that’s exactly why I called you here.”
“You called us?” Brian stared at him confused.
“Yes, this morning.”
“I don’t remember it.”
“Me neither,” Nick shook his head.
“Maybe that’s another sign that we are back.” AJ gave Kevin a hopeful look.
“Yeah, that’s it. So why exactly did you call us Johnny?” Kevin asked with a smile on his face. They were all so happy thinking they had left that weird story behind.
“I wanted to introduce you to someone. Come with me.”
They walked after Johnny and entered the building talking about the next dates of the tour and other business matters.
“Guys this is Miss Lewis,” Johnny said opening the door to one of the conference rooms once they had reached the second floor. Inside the office a girl with dark hair was waiting for them. She had been writing some notes when she noticed the door open and looked up. A pair of hazel eyes met Nick’s blue ones and he felt an instant connection to the girl. She was very pale but he saw she had blushed a little when they had exchanged looks. Her shoulder length dark hair was wavy and when she stood up Nick noticed the stylish blue jacket complemented with a gray skirt that, although it wasn’t too short, it was short enough to reveal a beautiful pair of long legs.
“You know what’s funny? I usually don’t like brunettes but I feel a weird attraction to this girl,” Nick whispered to Brian after they all shook hands and taken seats again.
“Sorry guys but I didn’t join this work team to have fun so I would prefer to go directly to work,” she said making Brian blush since he was the one who had been laughing at Nick’s comment.
“A badass. Me like” Nick muttered under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Guys you need to check these forms. I’m adding some notes to them and then I’ll make more copies,” Johnny trid to divert their attention with business noticing some kind of tension in the air.
“Hey Johnny is there something wrong with your hand?” Howie asked him.
“Nothing” the Latino replied still looking at Johnny’s right hand.
“What is exactly the work Miss Lewis will be doing?” Kevin asked checking one of the forms he had taken from the pile of papers in front of Johnny.
“She will be a PR person. She will replace Linda Perkins who resigned yesterday.”
“She did? Why?” Nick pouted.
“She made the decision not to work anymore.”
“That’s sad. I’m gonna miss her.”
“She wanted to spend more time with her family Nick,” Johnny tried to cheer him up.
“Oh good for her then.” Nick finally smiled.
While Nick and Johnny were talking about Linda, the other boys were looking at Nick bewildered.
“Nick, who the heck is Linda Perkins?” AJ finally asked.
“I have no idea”
“Then why did you say all that?”
“It looked like the right thing to say” Nick shrugged making AJ smack him on the head.
“Oh no!” Kevin exclaimed while the other boys were shaking their heads at Nick.
“What?” They all asked at the same time.
“We are still in the story.”
“How do you know?”
“Because there wasn’t a Linda Perkins working for us. It’s just the writer creating a name.”
“Damn!” AJ stood up mad.
“That makes sense” was Brian calmer reply.
“So that’s why Johnny is writing with his left hand when he is right handed?” Howie asked while Johnny changed the pen to his right hand smiling and taking a sip of his orange juice.
“And that’s why the walls are blue when last time they were white. I thought they had painted,” AJ pointed to the wall at his side with his thumb.
“And I was starting to think it was weird that Johnny was drinking orange juice since he is allergic to oranges.”
Johnny spat out the juice all over the table hearing Nick’s words.
“You could have told me Carter” He scolded Nick while cleaning his mouth with a napkin.
Writer: So sue me for not knowing the names of everyone that works with you nor the color of Jive’s offices walls. I’m a writer not one of your stalkers.
“Great! There you are again,” AJ yelled to the ceiling. “So what chapter is this?”
Writer: Since you are such good detectives find that out alone.
AJ mouthed something under his breath that lucky for him the writer didn’t hear because she was already very tempted to make him the main character in an angst chapter.
“What the…” Brian quickly stood up and placed a hand over AJ’s mouth and the other over his arm, trying to calm him down before he could say something else.
“Guys can we go back to business?” Johnny spoke up.
“Okay let’s move on with this. The faster we find out what we are facing in this chapter the better.” AJ said taking a seat again, being followed by Brian who did the same.
“Well, as I was telling you Miss Lewis here…”
“Please guys call me Dawn,” she interrupted Johnny.
“That’s your name? Johnny, dawg, thank you man for bringing another Dawn!” Nick smirked.
“Wrong chapter Nick. We left the lyrics one behind” Brian laughed.
“Right” Nick winked at her and she giggled. “Okay how about a cup of coffee Dawn. I was thinking of going to the cafeteria.”
“Good idea Nick. I’m starving. Let’s go to eat something.” AJ said standing up receiving a pissed off look from Nick who was thinking about being with Dawn alone.
“But we haven’t started yet” Johnny complained, but all the boys ignored him walking to the door.
“Johnny is right boys. We need to work.” Dawn backed up the manager but Nick was already taking her by the hand.
“You don’t mind if we keep talking there?” Nick smiled at her again and she blushed.
“Oh, why not?” She stood up.
All the way to the cafeteria Nick and Dawn were laughing and talking about themselves. They were walking in front of the other guys and looking into each others eyes. It was like Dawn had only eyes for Nick and it didn’t take too much for her to share with him lots of facts about her life. They felt connected in a way, and Nick realized that they both had a lot of things in common listening to all the anecdotes she was telling him.
“Wait.” Nick stopped and looked to the ceiling. “I wanna have that conversation and hear those anecdotes. Why are you going so fast?”
Writer: Sorry but I have been writing too long chapters and need to end this one quick for a change.
“So what brings you back here?” Nick said once in the cafeteria pulling a chair back so Dawn could take a seat. “Where exactly in Europe were you living the last two years?”
“Cool, I love Spain”
“Yes I know” she rolled her eyes.
“Did you just roll your eyes?” Nick asked confused.
“Me? No, of course not.”
Nick looked at the ceiling again not sure what was happening, but thinking it was just the writer playing tricks on him so he went on with the conversation.
“Were you in Barcelona?”
The other guys had taken seats at another table not wanting to interrupt them. Kevin had taken a menu and was inspecting it, passing a hand through his short hair from time to time. Dawn couldn’t stop staring at his gorgeous…
“Excuse me!” Nick decided to interrupt again and looked at Dawn who was blushing again. “Okay something isn’t right. Why are you staring at Kevin if you like me?”
“I’m not staring at him, you silly boy.”
Her beautiful eyes and smile made Nick forget everything else and once again he found himself being happy just to be at her side.
“So you were telling me that you like movies a moment ago?” he asked sighing of love.
“Yes I love good films. Do you like good movies too?”
“Of course The Goonies…”
“That’s not a good film, blondie”
“What did you call me?” Nick eyes were wide open and Dawn started to cough.
“Honey? Yes, I said honey.” She smiled.
“You really remind me of someone but I can’t put my finger on it,” he said half-closing his eyes trying to analyze her.
“Why don’t we go to a place where we can be alone without Kevin’s amazing body *cough* I mean *cough* a place where I can be alone with you, my love.”
Nick was about to say something but she just had to smile to convince him once again. He stood up quickly, took her hand and walked with her out of the restaurant.
“Who wanna bet that this is a romance chapter and Carter just fell for it?” AJ said and all the boys laughed.
“Well if it’s a romance chapter, I think I’m really happy for the first time in the whole story” Kevin replied.
“Why is that?” Howie asked him.
“Because those stories just focused in one of us, in other words Nick, and forget that the rest of us exist.”
“And that is good because…” Brian wasn’t sure what Kevin was trying to say.
“It’s good because it means we can rest from that dumb writer for a while Bri”
Writer: I heard that Kevin!
“Nick and Dawn just left. Hurry up or you’ll miss them.” Kevin pointed to the door smiling.
Writer: Argh! Don’t get too comfortable guys. I’ll be back.
Nick and Dawn kept walking till they left Jive and reached a little park. It was a beautiful morning. Birds were singing, the breeze was blowing the trees’ leaves and the sun was shining. They took a seat on a bench still holding hands and kissed each other passionately.
“I love you sooo much.”
“I love you too honey.”
“How are we going to survive this?” Suddenly she became a little uncomfortable.
“What do you mean?” Nick asked worried.
“We have so many things against us.”
“It doesn’t matter our love will conquer everything,” Nick assured her gently stroking her soft hair.
“But my father hates you,” she confessed him.
“Why? I don’t know him. Why does he hate me?”
“He just does. He hates celebrities, especially young ones and pop stars. And you fall in both categories.”
“I will get him to like me. Besides my mom hates all my girlfriends so I guess we are even,” he said giving it a shrug and kissing her again.
“Well yes, but then there’s my ex husband.”
“You were married?” This time the news really shocked Nick.
“Of course. You didn’t think this would be easy, right. Relationships are not kisses, bonbons and flowers. We need to fight for this love”
“Right.” He doubted for a minute. “Let me see… he is your ex husband, so that means he is out of the picture.”
“Is not that easy.”
“He is still in love with me.”
“Hello! Have you looked at me? How could someone not be in love with me? I’m beautiful, intelligent, adorable….”
Writer: Jeez Nick. She is the lead female character. She is almost perfect.
“Oh Right. Sorry. Okay just tell him that you don’t love him.”
“I tried but….”
“He is abusive,” she admitted shedding a tear.
“I’ll kill him!”
“Yes you will. And you will end up in jail for that.”
Nick looked at the sky “I told you I don’t wanna go to jail!”
“We can run away together,” he practically yelled thinking he had found the perfect solution.
“But how about your career, the boys?”
“They won’t understand at first but then… screw them.”
“Right! Because you are so in love with me and nothing can’t separate us.” She clapped in excitement.
“Of course. You are more important to me than them, no matter that they are my family and I’ve known them for so many years while I’ve known you only since this chapter started what? 4 pages ago?”
Writer: Nick you are not supposed to talk about chapters or pages. Time! Talk about time!
“Okay. 20 minutes?”
Writer: Yes, that probably is correct.
“See honey nothing will keep us apart I love you.” Nick said cupping Dawn’s face in his hands and giving her another tender kiss.
“I love you too I love you sooo much but… what about Demi?”
“Moore? Isn’t she with Ashton?”
“Not Moore, you silly. Demi Reinolds.”
“Who is that?” Once again Nick was terribly confused.
“I have an assistant? A girl?”
“Yes, and she is gorgeous. Tall, blonde, the body of a supermodel.”
Nick was grinning from ear to ear hearing the description. “Great,” he said almost clapping.
“Sweetie I was just kidding.” He said winking at her. “You know I only have eyes for you”
“Yes, but she is in love with you and she is evil. She will try to separate us.”
“She won’t be able to do it”
“She will tell me that you love her and forge letters making me believe that you are cheating on me”
“Then just ignore her. Man, it’s really hard to have a happy ending in romance.” He stopped for a minute realizing what he had just said. “Romance? Hey! Is this is the romance chapter?”
Writer: And it took you only this far to figure it out.
Nick stuck his tongue out at the sky once again acting like a dumbass because the sky has no eyes so it could care any less about Nick’s insults. But then some of the birds flying by could always think Nick was mocking them and decide to poop all over…
“Eeeekk!!! Okay I’m sorry. See I’m not sticking my tongue out anymore. And I was just only complaining because it looks like we won’t ever have a happy ending.”
“We will sweetie” Dawn assured him placing a hand over his chest. “Don’t worry, we will. Just after your surgery”
“My what?” He jumped up frightened.
“Well, one of us has to have a near death experience so we can come back together after such an emotional moment and have our happy ending. ”
“Why not you?”
“Because the writer likes me.”
“Well, she has to like me too, right?” He looked at the sky. “Tell me I am your favorite and you don’t wanna see me suffering. Don’t you write romance with your favorite guy?
Writer: Well…. Not really. I chose you for this chapter because you are probably the most popular backstreet boy, and then you have a lot of teeny fans and they seem to love romance. I do like you and find you cute, and of course you are a nice guy most of the time, but then writing this story I have realized that sometimes you are… you are just annoying, blondie.
“Blondie?” Nick looked at Dawn in awe since the truth had just hit him “I knew I have heard it before. You remind me of her.”
Writer: Haven’t you heard that female characters are an extension of the writer?
“Eeeek, so she is like you?”
Writer: Not completely but in a way. And what’s with the eeeekkk? You wish you could be with someone like me.
“Let me guess, you are a brunette.”
Writer: And people say you are dumb.
“I knew it! I have always preferred blondes. You should have made AJ fall in love with her.”
“You don’t like me?” Dawn pouted.
“Of course I love you sweetie.” Nick took a seat at Dawn’s side again, hugging her. “You are perfect and… No! No!!!” He pushed her and walked away from her. “I need to find the fellas. You are nothing but trouble. I don’t want surgery nor going to jail just to end up with someone who can’t keep her eyes away from Kevin.”
He ran as fast as he could just to bump into the boys that were already looking for him.
“We weren’t looking for him.” Howie said to the sky.
“Yes, we were having a great time in the cafeteria until you brought us here.” AJ complained.
Writer: I told you not to get too comfortable.
“Guys, lets go out of this place.” Nick begged.
“That girl wanted me to run away with her and leave you,” he replied hugging them.
“Get away from me Carter” AJ said pushing him. “Just when I thought I was missing you.”
“Awww you missed me” Nick gave him a sloppy kiss which only made AJ get even more pissed off. “Ugh Kaos why do you have to kiss me all the time?”
“Because I love you man.”
“And you were just running away from a woman, right bro? And then you wonder why people start rumors about us.”
“Hey guys. Isn’t that the same tunnel that took us here?” Howie asked pointing to an entrance in the middle of the parking lot where they were once again.
”So? Should we go inside?” Kevin asked.
“Why not? It can’t be any worse than everything we have already experienced,” Brian replied.
“Do you think there’s a chance this will take us back to the musical chapter? Howie was walking in front of them but noticing nobody was replying he turned around to see the boys standing in front of the same place where Brian had found the sign at the beginning of the chapter. “What are you doing?”
“Brian wants to check the sign again.” Nick replied once Howie was at their side.
“So, is still saying ‘the end’?”
“In a way” Brian replied.
“What you mean, Brian?”
“Well there’s something more here.” Brian pulled out a big branch showing the guys the rest of the sign.
‘The endearing romantic chapter. Step in because love is all you need.’
“Great! We got all excited for nothing. Great work Brian, making us think it was the end.” AJ threw his hands in the air, frustrated.
“Hey it wasn’t my fault it was Howie’s.”
“Yes, aren’t you the business expert?” Brian said tongue in cheek. “You are always telling us to read the fine print in contracts but you didn’t think about reading the whole sign.”
“Yeah right, it’s Howie’s fault.” AJ laughed, allowing himself to relax a little.
“Oh shut up. First you don’t let me sing and now you want to blame me for this.” Howie said getting mad at the joke and walking away from the boys just to find another door at the side of the road.
“Yippee, another door,” he said sarcastically rolling his eyes. “Why am I not surprised? You and your thousand doors. Of course you can’t be original and not have a door. Now THAT would be a surprise, a chapter ending without a door,” he continued his diatribe against the writer while reaching for the door’s knob.
Writer: Look at the ground.
Howie did it just to catch out the precise instant the floor started to disappear from under his feet.
“Oooops!” Was the last thing he said before going down. Mersey will be back next Wednesday with the Fairy tale chapter! *so far my favorite in the enitre story lol* ;O)
Ghetto Pigs picking up sticks and Howie falls from the sky
The Fairy Tale chapter
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a village called PimPigStyIt (that's short for Pimp Pig Style It). In the village, there lived a 25 year old pig named PigDiddy. He was collecting sticks in the woods to make a new and bigger house with his 2 older brothers. It was while he was busy picking up the last batch of sticks into his mini truck, that a human being fell from the open sky with a huge thud.
Writer: I said a HUGE thud.
"Oww!" Howie yelled as he fell flat on his face into the slightly muddy ground.
"I know I walked in by a door, how can I possibly drop from the sky!"
Writer: The door was up there.
"In the sky?"
Writer: Yeah, you got a problem with that?
"As a matter of fact, I do! How come I....”
As Howie started yapping his negative thoughts away and began to verse in Spanish and confuse the poor writer, Nick, Brian, Kevin and AJ walked out of a tree trunk.
“Whoa, tree trunk! Awesome!” Brian cried as he looked back from where he came from.
“I think the author has a fascination with trees.” Kevin said.
Writer: I thought you like trees, Kevin
“This is borderline obsessive.” Kevin said. “I mean, walking out from a tree?
Writer: I’m sorry your imagination is limited.
“Well, your imagination is too-”
“There’s a pig, in overalls.” AJ said, frozen on the spot. Nick, who was also frozen next to him, nodded. “And he’s walking, with two legs.”
Kevin, losing his concentration, decided to stop arguing and look over where Howie was standing next to the pig in overalls.
“Holy doo doo, you’re a pig!” Howie said, surprised.
“I think we’ve established that.” Kevin said in utter amusement.
“Sup. The name’s PigDiddy, you dig?” PigDiddy said as he offered a, er, handshake.
“No, not Dig, I’m Howie D.” Howie said as they shook hands.
“Say what?” PigDiddy asked, confused.
“Er, D, I think that was ghetto slang.” Nick said, still afraid to move.
“Dude, like, PDiddy?” AJ exclaimed.
“Who’s PDiddy?” PigDiddy asked.
Brian grinned and readily approached the pig. “Hi, I’m Brian, nice to meet you.”
Meanwhile, Howie was checking the pig out discreetly –
“Okay, that’s just GROSS! I’m NOT checking a pig out! Especially if it’s a ghetto pig!”
“Watchu’ tryinta say? You got a beef with me dawg? Just cuz I’m ghetto and shit?” PigDiddy said as his, er, hands, started flying around ghetto style.
Writer: Ok, first of all, you have a dirty mind Howie! And second of all, if you would only let me finish my sentence, you’ll know that I didn’t mean it that way!
Kevin meanwhile, went over to Nick and whispered, “Why is this pig reminding me of someone?”
“You’re crazy Kevin.” Nick scoffed.
Meanwhile, Howie was checking the pig out discreetly, convinced that it was a man in a pig suit.
“So what’s crackin’ man?” PigDiddy asked Brian. “Watchu doin’ comin’ outta from dat trunk? Dat phat yo, didn’t noe you culd do dat, yanno?”
Brian grinned even wider, unsure if he got all that was said. “Yeah…”
Kevin and AJ looked at each other and then at Nick.
“What’s up with the looks?” Nick asked uneasily.
“Nick, PigDiddy sounds like you!” AJ cried.
“Dude now you’re just begging me to kick your ass.” Nick grunted.
Meanwhile, Brian was still doing his best trying to understand PigDiddy. “Just wondering PigDiddy, where are we?”
“Dis the woods dawg. Been pickin’ up sticks. Makin’ a new crib with my brothas, it’s gonna be whack yo!”
“You have brothers?” Kevin asked.
“2 brothas fo life yo! We gonna hook up some kick ass deco and shit. Pimpin da lifestyle yanno?”
Kevin nodded. “Right…yo.”
Nick looked at PigDiddy, trying to understand why everyone else seemed okay that a talking pig was standing right in front of them. At this rate, Nick was sure that the only sane one left besides him, was AJ.
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean!” Brian said, looking at Nick, who was currently shocked that Brian could read his mind. “I can read minds?”
“That’s not cool.” Nick shook his head.
“Cool!” Brian grinned. “And I’m just friendly!”
Friendly my ass, Nick thought.
“Brian! Stop reading my mind!”
“Stop calling me your ass!”
Yeah cause my ass is prettier.
“Whoa, dude Brian, you remind me of my brother dawg.” PigDiddy said, breaking up the fight. “But he cant read minds and all that shit.”
AJ giggled. “Why am I not surprised?”
“At what?” Nick asked.
“Nothing.” AJ said, even though he really wanted to say that PigDiddy reminds him of Nick, so if there is a Nick Pig, there should be a Brian pig somewhere.
“I heard that.” Brian said.
“Stop reading my fucking mind!” AJ groaned.
Howie, after much convincing that it was indeed a real life pig in overalls standing next to him, decided to step in and calm things down.
“Okay guys listen. We’re obviously in another stupid genre-”
“Howard, don’t censor your own words man.” Brian laughed.
“You were going to say the F word.”
“Interrupt me one more time and I will.” Howie smiled. “Anyway, we’re in another stupid genre and for some reason, this writer thinks it’s ingenious to let Brian have this ‘gift’ of mind reading!”
“And made pigs wear overalls!” AJ pointed out.
“And trying to be ghetto.” Nick added.
“Nick bro, you have no place to talk about that one.” Kevin smirked.
“You’re supposed to be on MY side.” Nick pouted.
“Dude what’s your effing problem?” PigDiddy called out to Nick, which surprised the blonde one.
“I don’t have any problems.”
“Yeah you do dawg. You got beef wit me, sup wit dat?”
Nick rolled his eyes. “You just called me a dog, said I have cow meat with you and you’re a PIG, that TALKS. Of course, everything’s fine and dandy!”
“That ain’t fair dude. I was just reading the storyline that the writer made for me.” PigDiddy defended himself.
Howie snorted. “Of course, the writer always doesn’t make much sense.”
Writer: I can bring back the bear that I remember fondly, was going for your head Howie.
Howie looked at Kevin, who had been rather quiet throughout the entire ordeal. “Kevin, are you just going to stand there and not say something? I mean, where do we draw the line anyway? When she turns all of us into different poultries?”
Writer: Hey, that’s an idea…
Kevin scratched his head. “I don’t want her to bring back the angry duck. I think a talking pig is okay.”
“You’re just scared of the duck.” Brian laughed, which got a kick out of Nick and AJ. And dare this writer say, the pig.
“You’re really getting to piss me off Cousin!”
AJ rested his hand on PigDiddy’s shoulder. “There he goes again, the big C.”
“I’ve been told that Kevin here is very fond of letting everyone know Brian is his cousin.” PigDiddy said.
“He does.” Nick giggled.
“Hey,” AJ said as he started feeling PigDiddy’s shoulder.
“That’s borderline slash.” Howie interrupted.
Writer: Howie, stop with the slash talk!
AJ was still feeling PigDiddy’s shoulder. “I didn’t know pig skin was smooth dude.”
“I moisturize.” PigDiddy said.
Before AJ could comment on it and wonder what kind of moisturizer a pig would use, another voice was heard from a distance in the woods.
“PigDiddy where the heck did you go boy?”
Nick’s eyes grew wider as he looked at AJ. “There’s another pig that talks out there.”
“And I bet he talks like Brian.”
Nick frowned. “AJ, you’re seriously scaring me.”
“Dude, get a clue. This writer is making the pigs resemble all of us. We have PigDiddy, the frustrated ghetto wannabe, now, if that doesn’t ring Nick Carter, I don’t know what will.”
“But I’m NOT ghetto! I’m a rocker!” Nick argued.
For some reason, AJ had to laugh at that. “Nicky, Sphynkter isn’t real.”
Writer: Which the video rocks, by the way
“Aww, why thank you writer!”
Writer: You’re very much welcome Nick. You look so stupid with that mullet, but oh so hot as a rocker.
“Aww that’s because I’m both stupid and hot.”
Writer: Aww I know!
“Wait, I didn’t say that! You made me say it!”
Writer: I’m just quoting you on the stupid thing. You said so yourself in some interview.
“Well I wasn’t thinking then.” Nick said.
Writer: And that means you’re kinda stupid right?
PigDiddy scratched his head. “Yo, watchu lookin’ at? You talkin’ wit trees man? Yo I think your friend here is crazy dawg!”
“It’s not the trees, it’s the damn writer!” Kevin huffed. “Speaking of which, I’m sure it’s all nice to have your little conversation with the blonde one, I’m sure he’s your favorite and all-”
Writer: You are my second favorite though.
“That’s nice to know,” Kevin replied sarcastically. “But we are in the middle of a…chapter, here, and you’re not going anywhere with it.”
Writer: God Kevin, you can be SO uptight sometimes. Fine, let me go back and see where I left this story at.
While AJ and Nick were arguing, PigDiddy did a shout out to his brother to let him know where he was. Before long, the boys found another walking, talking pig coming towards them.
Now this pig, despite being as blonde as PigDiddy, wasn’t wearing overalls. He was wearing a basketball jersey complete with a visor on his head and the hugest grin ever.
“Dude, you got some humans wit you Diddiyo!”
PigDiddy went over and rested his arm on the pig’s shoulder. “Everyone, dis my goofball bro, PigDaddy.”
Kevin bent sideways a little and whispered to AJ, “You know the next one will be PigDuddy right?”
AJ nodded. “And I fear that Duddy will sound like me.”
“Good thing there’re only 3 of them.” Kevin smiled.
“Yeah, writer, can you please bring back the angry duck and that bear?”
Writer: Don’t worry AJ, all in good time.
Meanwhile, Brian was introducing himself to PigDaddy…
“Hi I’m Brian, I’m a daddy myself.” Brian heard AJ and Nick burst out laughing at the back but ignored them.
“Good to see ya dawg,” PigDaddy said. “watchu guys doin’ her?”
Brian quickly waved his hands in the air and shook his head. “Oh no, we’re not doing any girl. I’m married.”
This time, it got a laugh out of Howie.
“Shame on you Brian, even Howie knows what that means.” Kevin said.
“What?” Brian asked.
“He said ‘here’, just in that…slang.” Nick explained.
“Like, hot in heerre? You know that Nelly song?” AJ explained.
Howie was still laughing.
“Fine!” Brian pouted. “And to answer your question PigDaddy, we have no idea. I supposed the writer is giving us another genre but I still have no idea if there’s any plot so far.”
“Maybe she’s still thinking of one.” Kevin said. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Writer: Or maybe you’re just too damn slow. There’re 3 pigs, 2 are talking and picking up wood to make a house, where do you think I’m going with this?
“I hope not the slaughter house.” Nick said. “That would be mean.”
Writer: Anyone else besides the blonde want to make a smart guess?
Howie raised his hand. “I’d go for a fairy tale and the whole 3 little pigs, but this one is just stupid.”
Somewhere out there in the woods, a hungry bear started to growl. It was so loud that everyone could hear them. If one would listen really carefully, the bear was actually growling HHHOOOOWWWIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
“Okay okay, I’m SORRY! It wasn’t stupid okay?”
Writer: Good, cause it IS a fairy tale, only with a twist.
“How come you didn’t go for the obvious ones, like Cinderella?” Nick asked.
Writer: Because I’m tired of writing female characters that you will fall in love with Nick.
Nick’s lips started to quiver. “I miss Nicole.”
Kevin shook his head and turned back to look at the two pigs. He noticed that PigDaddy had a huge bling hanging around his neck. It was diamond studded and with the letters P and D on it.
“Wait, time out.”
Writer: You love those time outs don’t you?
Writer: Okay make it quick, you’re disrupting my flow here and I’m in danger of missing my deadline!
“Wow you have deadlines?”
Writer: Why yes Brian, I do. I cannot run on Backstreet Time you know.
“Can I have my time out now?” Kevin whined. “I did NOT whine.”
Writer: You just did. So, what’s your time out about? You have 10 seconds.
“Okay see, I find this stupid. How can a pig afford diamond studded blings around his neck, and is picking up sticks to build a damn house? You’re not really good at writing are you?”
Writer: Great, 10 seconds is up.
While the boys plus the two pigs were still explaining to each other why they were there, they heard another voice yelling from a distance.
“Holy mother fuckin’ shit where the fuckin’ fuck did you two go to! Diddy! Daddy! Where the fuck are you, you mother fuckahs!”
Brian, who was at first so alarmed, stopped in his tracks and shook his head. “Oh wow…whoever is out there…he’s um…very…colorful.”
“Shouldn’t this chapter be PG13?” Howie asked.
Writer: Howie, please don’t pull a Kevin and interrupt me.
“That’s our brother dawg, PigDuddy.” PigDaddy said.
AJ shook his head. “Nothing can surprise me anymore.”
Writer: I bet you’re wrong.
So walk in PigDuddy, in black shirt and a pair of jeans that is torn in many places. He also had eyeliner under his eyes and tattoos all over his arms. Unlike PigDiddy and PigDaddy, PigDuddy is the Goth of the family.
“Okay, wasn’t expecting that.” AJ said.
“Get yo ass here FOO!” PigDiddy yelled at PigDuddy.
“Yeah dawg, watchu yellin’ fo’ man? You gotta get it crunk man!” PigDaddy said.
“I never knew what crunk means.” Howie said.
Writer: Me neither, I’m not ghetto. Now can you please not interrupt!
“What’s rawkin’ humans!” PigDuddy yelled in his rockish voice.
“Not much.” Brian smiled ever the friendly one. “We’re still waiting on some kind of a plot.”
“I thought you can read minds...you should know what's going to happen next." Howie said.
"It's kinda limited. Writers are beyond my boundary." Brian explained. Howie nodded as if it made sense when it didn't.
"So..." PigDuddy started as he took out a pack of cigarettes. AJ looked on, salivating. Nick was close behind him. "We juz stand here and wait for a fuckin' plot?"
"It's so fawkin' hawt dawg...we should go somewhere and chill." PigDiddy pointed out.
Kevin immediately interrupted. "Wait! We can't go anywhere...what if the writer can't find us? She needs to finish off this stupid chapter so we can find another door and move on!"
"Can I have a stick?" AJ asked PigDuddy.
"You smoke dude?" PigDuddy asked. AJ nodded. "You're so cool!"
Brian shook his head. Kevin was utterly disgusted. Howie was checking out the tree that the other guys had came out from. He was still very unhappy that he had to drop from the sky alone.
"Can I have one too?" Nick asked.
"Nicky you really shouldn't." Brian said.
"Aww why not?"
"Haven't you noticed something bro? You're always the one that the writer loves to hurt. I can only imagine what a cig will do to you in this forest." Brian explained.
"You could start a forest fire and ruin Mother Nature." Kevin pointed.
Nick pouted. "I was thinking if I lit a stick, it'll scare the mosquitoes away, they seem to be everywhere and I'm already itching!"
There was silence for about five seconds before Brian shrugged. "Can I have one as well?"
"Yeah me too." Howie said.
While they were busy passing out cigarettes, Kevin noticed a small person walking towards them. It looked like a little girl, but it was difficult to tell behind her red cloak.
"Hey, you pigs know who that is?" Kevin asked as he pointed to the figure.
PigDaddy nodded happily. "Oh she our homie dawg. She's so phat yo! She mah girl that red riding hood!"
"Red Riding...oh!" Kevin caught himself.
"Yo Riding Hood, wassup shortie?"
Red Riding Hood skipped along towards them and waved to everyone. "Hi my favorite piglets! I see you have company!"
"Yeah, dis my friends! Brian, Howie, Nick, AJ and that hot ass right there is Kevin."
Nick looked at Brian and mouthed out 'hot ass' before they both cringed.
"How do you do boys!" Red Riding Hood greeted them.
"We're good, thanks!" Brian cheered. "So where are you heading to Red Riding Hood?"
"Duh Brian, even I know how this fairy tale goes." AJ pointed out. "You're on your way to meet Grandma aren't you?"
"Why yes! She's sick and I must hurry with her lunch! Catch you guys later!"
They waved as she skipped along.
"Nice kid." Kevin said.
"She da bomb!" PigDiddy said.
"Rawkin' ma sack!" PigDuddy yelled.
"DUDDY!" PigDiddy and PigDaddy exclaimed. "Dat's not cool yo!"
While the pigs were busy arguing about their ethical issues, AJ suddenly turned alarmed.
"Guys...if there's Red Riding Hood, then there should be a wolf on his way here!"
"A what!" Nick yelled.
"Yeah...like in the story!" Brian gasped.
"Calm down," Kevin said. "This writer always has twists; I bet there's no wolf in this one."
And then, there came a wolf.
"Kevin you suck!" Brian cried.
"So much for a twist." Kevin mumbled.
The wolf looked like any other wolf, except that he was wearing a black sweater with a hood, black jeans that had a long chain on it. He had a spiky belt and necklace.
"Are you going to eat us?" Nick asked. "Cause if you do, you might want to go for Howie, he's Puerto Rican Irish, very yummy."
"Gee thanks Nick." Howie grumbled.
"No problem D!" Nick smiled.
"Humans are yuckky." The wolf said cooly.
"Yuckky?" AJ made a face. "Who says yuckky anymore?"
"I do," the wolf said. "I just said it didn't I? You got a hearing problem baldy?"
"Brian!" AJ yelled as he made Brian hold on to him. "Hold me back now or I swear I'll go slaughter this wolf!"
Brian looked at AJ who kept shoving his arm at him and decided to take it. "Okay...I'm holding you back...I think."
"Good, cause I can really do a number on this asshole!"
"Right." Brian snickered as he felt AJ kept shoving his arm at him, wanting him to hold him back.
The wolf ignored AJ and looked at the three pigs. "Where the fuck is your house porky!"
"It's still not built yet!" PigDaddy explained.
"But you three fucks promised me a fucking house with jacuzzi and all that shit! I told my guys the party's on tonight dude!"
Nick went near Kevin and whispered, "I don't think this fairy tale is for kids Kevin."
"Yeah...and the wolf is friends with them? What the heck!"
"But it does look like you Kevin." Nick pointed out.
"What? Like ME?"
"Yeah, look at those eyebrows! A baby elephant can get lost in there!" Nick exclaimed.
"Stupid bitch, she made the wolf looks like ME?" Kevin growled.
"Kevin, you're cussing...like him." Nick said.
Meanwhile, back with the pigs....
"Aight man, it better be done by tonight aight? I gotta go catch up with Riding Hood now." The wolf said as they did their secret handshake.
Once the wolf left, Howie was left puzzled with the things that had just transpired. The writer lied when she said she had a twist, she had tons of them and none were making any sense.
"So...the wolf is your friend?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah." PigDuddy nodded. "You sayin' he shouldn't be? What, you're pickin' out our fuckin' friends now?"
Kevin backed away. "No no...all's cool...yo."
Brian shook his head. "No! This is wrong. That wolf is BAD news!"
PigDuddy glared at Brian. "Listen here you mutha*bleep*! You got no right tellin' us dat you human!"
"Wow...she's censoring them now? Too late for that don't you think?" Howie said to Nick.
Writer: My boss passed by, so I have to write nice. He was already asking who PigDiddy was earlier today.
"Oh, okay." Howie nodded. "Careful now, you might get caught at work."
Writer: I will thanks!
"You have to believe Brian, he can read minds!" AJ pointed out.
"Says who!" PigDuddy yelled.
"Says the writer." Kevin said. "She said it earlier when you weren't here."
"I don't believe it!" PigDuddy said.
"They're telling the truth, Brian can read minds and that wolf is bad news!" Hootie the owl said from a branch of a tree.
"Hootie the owl?" AJ cried. "Who the fuck is Hootie?"
"Whoa! Hootchie? What? Where? Where?" Nick asked excitedly, already looking behind a tree.
"Not hootchie you horny person, hootie!" AJ said.
"Oh," Nick said, rather disappointed. "Hey, he looks like you Howard!"
"Shut up Nickolas!" Howie grumbled. Hootie the owl has big brown eyes and a flock of curly...hair....on his head. Hootie the owl also...winks.
"Hey Hootie, how do you know Brian isn't lying?" Nick asked.
"Cause I'm an owl, I'm supposed to be wise, dumbass."
This time, it was Howie who was laughing.
"Well then," PigDuddy said, brushing Brian's shoulders. "Do tell me why the wolf is bad news for us."
"Well see, he's pretending to be your friends, but all he wants is to wait for you to build that house and he'll huff and he'll puff, and he'll blow your house down! And then...he'll EAT all of you! He'll have you in bacon PigDiddy, and BBQ for Daddy and roasted for Duddy."
"Wow...I thank the Lord fo' yo' gift! It's the shit!" PigDiddy said.
Writer: You can thank me, actually, but whatever.
"Well, I guess there is a plot afterall." Kevin said.
"Yeah...I think we saved a fairy tale." Howie agreed.
"I wonder what happened to Red Riding Hood and her grandmother though." AJ pondered.
"We gotta get goin', we gotta boil some water and cook da wolf before he got us yo." PigDiddy said.
"Yeah...and I guess we have another door to open." AJ said.
"I'm gonna miss my mind reading ability though." Brian said as they opened the door in the same tree they came from.
"She better not drop me from the sky again on the next one." Howie whined.
"She better get her act together and write a damn logicical fanfic!" Kevin huffed.
While the pigs left and the guys were going through the tree door, Nick waited in line and picked a large stone and aimed it high up the tree. It hit Hootie the owl right between the eye and it fell on the ground with a huge thud and a rather loud 'ow!'
"That's for calling me a dumbass!" LOL! I love this chapter :O) I'll be back next week with my medical drama chapter because we all know every good BSB story has at least one medical crisis :OP
Broken, swollen and bleeding and that’s before noon!
The medical drama
They all made it through the door unscathed, well at least almost all of them. It was Howie who landed on the ground with a huge thump as his head was bleeding from being hit with a rock.
“Ouch and why the heck did that even happen?” Howie asked lying on the ground holding a hand to his bloody face.
“I’m so sorry Howie, but when I hit that owl with a rock, I think maybe because we were leaving, you were the one that got injured, since you kind of were Hootie and all.” Nick said feeling incredibly guilty for his friend’s injury.
“Nick its okay, you didn’t do it on purpose,” Kevin said moving Nick out of the way, ignoring his weird explanation and examining Howie’s head.
“Sure you say that because it’s not YOUR head he hit!”
“I’m sorry D.” Nick said again as he backed away so Kevin could get a better look.
Kevin helped ease Howie to a sitting position while Brian and AJ scurried to find something that could be used to wipe the blood away. Brian came back a few seconds later, “How about this?” He asked handing Howie an old glove.
“Where did that come from?” Kevin asked suspiciously looking around only to see there was nothing but grass and trees.
“It just happened to be in my pocket.”
“A glove just happened to be in your pocket?”
Kevin shook his head and looked up at the sky, “Are you even trying anymore?” he asked the sky just as a huge cloud formed and a lightning bolt…
“AHH okay never mind I take it back.”
The lightning bolt went away and suddenly it became bright and sunny again.
“I think you might need stitches bro,” Kevin replied pressing the glove close against Howie’s head to stop the bleeding.
Nick looked up at the sky, “Is there a hospital that we can take him to? That doesn’t involve us as the doctors?”
“Hey look guys!” AJ said pointing at the sign that said hospital one mile ahead.
“Wow, look at that, it’s a random hospital sign in the middle of the grass and what’s with you and grass anyway? Every time we get to you, we are always on the grass or in a cave.” Nick made sure to point out.
“Oh wait did I say one mile? I meant five miles.” AJ said in disgust trying his hardest not to let those words come out.
“Nick when are you going to learn to keep your damn mouth shut? Now I’m going to bleed to death and it’s going to be all your fault!” Howie said holding the glove against his head feeling slightly dizzy.
“I think its best if you help me walk Howie there Nick since the two of us are about the same size.” Kevin said hoisting Howie to his feet.
“Are you sure we don’t want to get the hobbits again since you seem to think that Howie and I are that small.” Brian rolled his eyes trying to sound as sarcastic as possible.
“You are never going to let me live that down are you?”
“Never!” Brian harrumphed folding his arms in front of him.
“Harrumphed?” He asked looking up.
Writer: Yes you know kind of like a cross between a pffft and a hmph.
“Oh I gotcha! Harrumph.”
Writer: Very good!
“Thanks, you know I do take direction well.”
“Hello? Band mate bleeding to death” Howie gasped out.
“Sorry bro,” Brian said walking over and trying to lend a hand to the much taller men.
“Hey! And you stop laughing Kevin.”
And with that being said they eventually made their way to the hospital. By the time they got there all five were hot and very tired, only stopping long enough to rest and make sure Howie was feeling okay which he wasn’t. He felt dizzy and Kevin was beginning to worry that maybe it was a concussion that his friend was possibly suffering from.
The hospital seemed to be pretty barren with an ambulance parked in the back with a few doctors hanging around smoking and talking. They didn’t even seem to care that there were five guys walking towards them with one very injured one in the middle.
The sliding doors opened and the five men staggered in all but dragging Howie who was barely conscious. “We need help over here please!”
The woman behind the reception desk called for an orderly who placed Howie carefully into a wheelchair. “Someone will be right with you.” The receptionist said handing Kevin some fresh washcloths to help with the bleeding.
“How are you feeling buddy?” He asked when Howie closed his eyes and looked very pale.
AJ placed a hand on Howie’s shoulder, “It’s okay D, help is on the way and it’s about time you had me say something, I’m feeling invisible in this one.” AJ pouted.
Writer: I’m sorry did someone say something?
“Oh you are a real riot.”
Writer: I know I’m hilarious, now why don’t you go try to reset that ‘head in bucket of ice’ record and let me get on with this chapter.
“That was pretty funny.”
Writer: Thanks Nick.
A moaning Howie brought the conversation to a halt, “What’s wrong Howie?” Brian asked now crouched down next to their friend, but he was met with silence as Howie’s head hung down. “Oh my God he’s unconscious we need help now!” Nick screamed to the receptionist which had someone run out to help.
A nurse rushed Howie to a room and closed the curtain as she and an orderly placed him gingerly on the bed. His moaning came as a welcome sign to everyone since that meant he was waking up.
AJ grabbed Howie’s hand and held on as his friend opened his eyes. “Welcome back Howie.”
“Where was I?”
Before he could answer a young doctor walked into the room, “Hello I’m Doctor Lewis,” She said walking over and checking out the clipboard at the end of the bed.
“What seems to be the trouble?” She asked walking over to Howie and shining a light in his eyes.
“Well he got hit in the head with a rock.” Kevin responded.
“And how did that happen exactly?” All five boys looked at each other not quite sure or willing to explain that it happened because one of them hit a talking owl while running away from a band of ghetto pigs.
“It fell from a tree.” They all looked at AJ as did the doctor rather suspiciously.
“Okay well I’m going to order a whole slew of tests for him and he’ll be back to normal in no time.” She said walking past the boys and stopping in front of Nick.
“Are you feeling okay?” She suddenly asked the blonde who looked confused.
“Because you just look a bit pale.”
“Yes, but we won’t worry about that. I’ll be back.” She said walking out of the door.
“That was weird.” Nick said as he ran a hand through his sweaty hair and walked over to sit next to Howie.
“Did you say sweaty hair?” Nick asked even more confused then a few seconds ago.
“Eww Nick you are kind of sweaty.” Brian said walking over to Nick and feeling his head.
“No way, I see what you’re doing here; I’m the one that’s hurt not Nick! I got hit in the head with a rock.” Howie said from the bed.
“I think he has a fever Kev,” Brian said alarmed and quickly Kevin was up and moving towards the youngest band member.
Howie once again moaned, “You’re going to be okay Howie.” AJ reassured as he got up to see what was going on with Nick.
“Damn!” Howie said frustrated.
A few minutes later another doctor walked into the room with her assistant. “Hello, we’re here to take Mr. Dorough down for his CAT scan.” The doctor whose name was Kristof said. She was about to help load him onto the gurney when she looked over at Nick, “What’s wrong with him?” She asked as she made her way over.
“We think he has a fever.”
“He does not like right in his eyes,” She said bending down to take a closer look.
“I’m ready to be moved now.” Howie said as Kristof’s assistant Jenkins walked over to see what was wrong.
“Is it your stomach?” Kristof asked, carefully feeling his stomach and noticing he didn’t flinch at all.
“Maybe it’s a migraine? Do you get migraines?” Jenkins asked to which Nick shook his head.
“Don’t mind me I can get myself on the gurney.” Howie said standing up and walking over to the stretcher.
“How do you feel?” Jenkins asked Nick as Kristof took his pulse and his temperature.
“I feel fine; I mean we’re here for Howie not for me.”
“Thanks Nicky.” Howie said from the gurney he put himself on.
“Even still, I think it’s best if we run some blood work on you.” Kristof replied calling in a nurse and giving her Nick’s vitals.
“You know I guess I can wheel myself down to x-ray, don’t mind me.” Howie said sounding mad and a little annoyed.
“I think you guys are seriously wasting your time, I’m fine.” Nick insisted as both doctors started working on him. One taking his blood pressure and the other checking his heart beat.
In the middle of all the commotion an orderly came in for Howie, “Okay going for my tests now…” He said when finally Kevin looked up and then walked over to his friend.
“Want me to come with you?” He asked as the two doctors continued to poke and prod a very unhappy Nick.
“No that’s okay; I guess you should stay with Nicky.”
“Thanks D…” and before Howie could say another word he was wheeled out of the room.
“Can I at least sing a song as I go?” He begged as he was turning the corner.
Once Howie was gone Kevin made his way back over to Nick who seemed even more flushed than before. “I am fine! Is pinching me there really necessary?” He asked as the doctors escorted him to the bed Howie had just vacated.
“Now, you need to relax yourself Mr. Carter, we need to figure out exactly what’s wrong with you.”
“I’m fine I told you for the thousandth time! I’m not sick at all!”
Dr. Kristof pat his shoulder, “Sometimes we think we are healthy but there’s always something wrong with us. I just hope it’s serious.”
Brian interrupted, “You hope it’s serious?”
“I mean not, I hope it’s NOT serious.”
Dr. Lewis came in with a chart in her hand and med student, “Well seems like this is quite the busy bed isn’t it?”
“I’m not sick.” Nick said folding his hands in front of his hospital gown.
“Hospital gown? Since when am I wearing a hospital gown?” He asked looking down at the gown that was now covering his body.
“I have to say it’s really cool when you do stuff like that.” AJ mused, taking a seat next to the bed.
Writer: Thanks AJ; I promise you’ll get a bigger part in the next chapter.
“AJ stop sucking up to the writer.” Kevin rolled his eyes and watched as Dr. Lewis felt under Nick’s neck, nodding and whispering to her intern. “Is he okay doctor?”
She looked up from her writing, “Well it’s hard to tell, we should do some tests.”
“We already ordered a blood work up.” Dr. Kristof said.
“And I think he also needs an MRI of his stomach.” Jenkins added.
Dr. Lewis turned to her student, “What do you think Jennifer?”
Her med student walked over to Nick and smiled at him as she poked him on his stomach and then proceeded to run her hands up to his chest. “I think he has cancer.” She bluntly stated.
“WHAT?” all four Backstreet Boys gasped out at the same time.
“How can you even say that? All you did was feel my stomach then my chest which by the way, made me feel violated thank you very much.”
Kevin’s face was pale and none of the other boys knew what to say, “How can that be?” Brian asked confused and to the point of tears.
“Brian! Duh! She has no idea what she’s talking about, can’t you see that?”
“But she’s a doctor Nick.”
“Actually she’s an intern.” Dr. Lewis was quick to point out.
“See?” Nick tried to get out of the bed, “Where’s my pants?” He asked swinging his feet over the side.
“You shouldn’t go anywhere little man, not until we know for sure what’s going on.”
“Kevin, I know what’s going on, these people, all four of them, are going to submit me to tests which will hurt I’m sure only to tell me that I’m fine.”
“Hopefully not.” Kristoff said while jotting something down on her pad.
“Hopefully not fine?” Brian asked her once again confused she would say something like that.
“No, I meant hopefully not too painful.” She replied.
“Why do I need four doctors anyway?” Nick rolled his eyes and harrumphed.
“But he didn’t harrumph as good as me though, right?” Brian asked smiling up at the ceiling.
Writer: Of course not.
Dr. Kristoff, Dr. Lewis and their two assistants gathered around each other to have a conference during which several medical terms went swirling over everyone’s heads. Brian walked over to his friend and covered him up placing his hand gently on Nick’s forehead to wipe the sweat away.
“I am fine!! Is everyone out of their minds or something?”
“Frack, keep this blanket on you because we don’t want you to get cold.”
“Frack? Did you just call me Frack?”
“Yes, do you not remember that’s your nickname?”
“Well yes I do from ten gabillion years ago.”
Kevin then walked over with a stern look on his face, “Don’t worry baby, we’ll get through this okay? We will be here for you for anything you need.”
“Oh no, you don’t want to cuddle with me again do you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You just called me baby, this one is calling me Frack…what about you AJ what are you going to call me?”
“Hrmm, how about jerkass?” AJ shouted from across the room.
“Well at least one of you is acting normal.”
“Nick, I can understand what you feel. I remember when I was in the hospital I was scared to death.”
“But Brian when you were in the hospital you were SICK! There’s a difference!”
“Mr. Carter…” Dr. Lewis said walking over towards the bed and sitting at the edge, “We need to discuss your condition.”
“Condition, what condition?”
“It seems we have found a lump on your leg.”
“Lump on my leg?”
“Yes, while my intern was examining you…”
“You mean fondling me?”
Dr. Lewis ignored his comment and continued, “She found a lump on your leg, I’m afraid it’s going to have to come off.”
“What’s going to have to come off, the lump?”
“WHAT!” Nick’s eyes grew wide as did everyone else’s in the room.
“Is it that bad?” Kevin asked looking back from Dr. Lewis to Nick.
“I’m afraid so…”
“I tend to disagree with the amputation…” Dr. Kristoff added.
“Thank God it’s about time there was a voice of reason!” Nick sighed as he leaned back into the bed.
“I think he needs extensive radiation and chemotherapy before we take the leg.”
“WHAT?” Nick said, sitting up once more.
“Oh my God.” Brian started crying.
“Okay what is wrong with you people? They haven’t even done one single test on me yet! They haven’t taken blood or done any x-rays but yet they want to take my leg off? Okay I am SO done…I quit!”
Writer: You quit what?
“This chapter, I quit!”
Writer: You can’t just quit a chapter.
“Nicky you should lay back down, all this screaming isn’t good for you.” Kevin said attempting to push Nick back onto the bed.
“Kevin!! Don’t you find it weird that no one took any tests?”
“Mr. Carter, your friend is right…relax and we are going to start the treatments stat.”
“I really think the longer we wait the less chance he has at surviving this thing.” Dr. Lewis said shaking her at Jenkins, “Chopping that thing off is the only way.”
“Nick stop screaming, it’s okay baby hush.” Kevin tousled Nick’s sweaty head as he sat on the bed.
“I think we need to have him run through a series of treatments Dr. Lewis, before we consider taking the leg off. I am ordering them now…” Kristoff turned to Jenkins and said, “Order a trisodium phosphate niacinamide with a thiamin mononitrate and a knbt stat!”
“What in the world did all of that even mean?” Nick asked looking even more confused then he did earlier, if possible.
“Those are just medicines that will help you feel better,” Jennifer the intern said winking at the blonde.
“Medicines?” Now it was Kevin that sounded confused.
“Yes now we suggest you leave us to our business and wait outside the room.” Jenkins said trying to usher the boys out of the room.
“Wait a minute, those aren’t medicines…” Kevin glared up at the ceiling of the hospital.
Writer: *sigh* I know what’s coming next.
Writer: Yup, that…what’s the matter now Kevin?
“Nick is right, I mean to be diagnosed with cancer you need some tests.”
“Thank you!” Nick said nodding his head relieved.
Writer: do you have any idea how hard it is to write a medical drama in one chapter? Most go on for about 100 or so.
“Have you ever written one before?”
Writer: No, medical is not my cup of tea. I don’t really know much about medicine.
“Wow I think I might die from surprise.” Nick said sarcastically.
“So all those things you had the doctors order?” Kevin asked with one eyebrow raised.
Writer: Oh all right, I read them off a box of Golden Grahams! Happy?
“Tsk tsk, I’m so disappointed.”
“You are disappointed that I don’t have cancer?” Nick asked Kevin as he once again sat up, placing his socked feet on the cold floor.
“Well at least you’re not calling me baby again.”
“I’m disappointed that our writer didn’t take the time to properly research medical terms.”
Writer: I never have the time to do that. Besides who will ever know the difference?
“What’s knbt? That was the last thing you said.” AJ asked.
Writer: Oh that’s the name of my bank.
“So what’s the deal with the lump then?” Brian asked, still not exactly sure if Nick was out of the water yet.
AJ walked over and examined Nick’s leg himself, “Son of a bitch…it’s a huge mosquito bite!”
Everyone looked over at Jennifer who blushed, “Well, I’m sure that’s a mistake a lot of people make.”
“Maybe a lot of…STUPID people.” Nick said rolling his eyes. “But you are kind of cute though…”
“All right, seems like we have done all there is to do with this chapter don’t you think?” Kevin said getting in between Nick and the intern before the sequel to the teeny bopper chapter happened in front of their eyes.
“I wish you the best of luck,” Dr. Lewis said shaking Nick’s hand as did the other three doctor type people.
“Maybe we can chop off the guys’ leg in the next room.” Dr. Lewis said to Jenkins as they walked out of the room.
“So, I guess we can leave then?” Brian asked scratching his head.
“I guess, but how?”
“I’m not going anywhere until I find my pants.” Nick said as he exposed his buttocks to the world.
“Here they are, you big baby.” AJ threw the pants at Nick who missed them completely.
“Great aim you got there Boner.” He said bending down to pick up his pants only to see a hole under the bed.
“Guys there is a hole under the bed.”
All three men walked over to take a look, “Do you think this is what we have to do? Go down the hole?”
“Maybe J, before it was doors but maybe she wants to be different.”
“I’ll go first, just in case.” Kevin said moving the bed and jumping down the hole. They heard a thump followed by a few choice expletives before they got the all clear.
One by one they jumped down the hole with Nick bringing up the rear…
“Oh very funny ass joke there.”
Writer: thanks I try.
Shaking his head he pulled up his pants and jumped into the unknown using a few choice expletives himself.
“Hey guys, I’m back…turns out that I didn’t need stitches, one doctor insisted I had a brain tumor but…hey…where did everybody go?” Howie asked looking around confused to see the big gaping hole in the middle of the floor.
“Guys?” I had to just say thanks to Julie for letting me have a little fun with Broken in this one. ;O) You’re awesome! Marina will be back next with with a very funny fantasy chapter lol
Mr. Stokowski! Mr. Stokowski! or The One where Mickey Lost his Baton
or (yes another ‘or’) The Fantasy Chapter
~By (Just) Marina~
The five inseparable friends stood up after a well deserved rest and in the middle of the Cuernava field. The trip from Glorinas had been long and full of mishaps but the reward would be worthy since they were pretty confident about saving Endelemira’s region from the terrible hands of the Limuets.
“Say that in English again,” Kevin frowned at the green sky. “Green sky? Where the heck are we know?”
“Have you noticed that the grass is purple?” Howie elbowed him.
“Great another wacko world!” Kevin threw his hands up to the air frustrated. “Didn’t we have a sci-fi chapter already?”
Writer: This isn’t sci-fi.
“What the heck is it then?” AJ asked from the place where he, Brian and Nick had taken a seat again. “And how did we get here? I remember going under a bed and nothing else after that.”
Writer: Well maybe if you let me finish the narration…
“Go ahead” Kevin took a seat next to the others, followed by Howie.
And so the five valiant warriors…
Writer: Can you please not roll your eyes Kevin. If anything you should be grateful for the way I portray you. There are stories that have you as the villain, you know?
“Me? A villain?”
“It’s the eyebrows.”
“Shut up AJ.” Kevin admonished the younger man who was laughing.
Writer: AS I WAS SAYING…
“Jeez no need to scream. Go ahead with your narration” Brian said lying back into the purple soft grass. “Yes, very soft indeed. Me like it.”
*Silence and crickets chirping*
“Aren’t you going to keep up with the story?” Nick asked.
Writer: I don’t know, maybe someone else wants to interrupt and I don’t want to be rude and tell my story while we could talk about Kevin’s eyebrows or how soft the grass is.
“Oh just go on with the story would you” Kevin growled.
And so the five valiant warriors prepared themselves for the hardest part of the trip.
“Harder than what we already experienced?” Nick interrupted again, pissing off the writer even more.
“Shut up Nick” Brian’s quick intervention calmed the writer a little so she went on with the narration ignoring Kevin’s and AJ’s rolling eyes.
The five men suspected the kind of terrible experiences that would be waiting for them in Lundicum valley but they also knew that they could acquit themselves well if they stood together.
Kevin, the keeper of the blue medallion, representing the last human warriors, would lead the group. The best with the arch, he had been on this side of Timura before so he knew the way to Lundicum.
“The best with the bow?”
“Hey look, you have a bow and arrows” Nick pointed to Kevin’s back
“And you look like Robin Hood” AJ started to laugh noticing Kevin’s new outfit.
“I don’t wanna wear tights!”
Writer: Too late. Besides you look great in them.
“Why do I have the feeling that you are looking at my butt?”
Writer: Because I am…ahem… I mean, of course not. And don’t listen to AJ, you don’t look like Robin Hood, your clothes aren’t green.
“Yippee” Kevin rolled his eyes again.
Writer: I’m so ignoring you. I’ll keep going with my story.
Nickolas, the oldest son of King Deluphos had never been so far from his country, the Kingdom of Lugaros, before…
“I am a prince? Great! Where is Lugaros? Is that in Europe?”
Writer: Yes it is. Used to be part of Sweden, it was the second-largest city after Norway of course.
“Are you making fun of me?”
Writer: You are so easy. Don’t you know already that I name places and characters with the first things that come to my head? Why do you ask if it’s in Europe?
“I didn’t want to. You made me.” Nick whined.
Writer: Yeah right. Keep using that excuse. Now if you excuse me, I’ll try for the umpteenth time to finish my story.
AJ, the nomad. The last survivor from the Nilimitas race, inhabitants of the Great Lake. He had been the last to join the group but the others quickly realized what an incredible tracker he was so they were trusting his opinion about climbing mount Lirayo.
“You are really making me dizzy with all the weird names. And did you say a nomad?” AJ inquired.
“I don’t think she is replying to our questions anymore” Brian whispered to AJ.
Brian, the gnome…
“The what? Are you crazy? I’m not a gnome” Brian spat out having a tantrum and throwing his funny little red gnome hat to the floor.
“Ugh!” Brian kept stepping on his had with his cute little red gnome boots.
“I soo hate you now,” Brian said still a little aggressively but regaining some composure and dusting the hat he had already picked up from the floor.
And finally Howie…
“That’s it? Brian the gnome? You don’t have anything else to say about me. That’s not even a whole sentence.”
Writer: Dude, you are a gnome. What else do you want me to say?
“I so hate you” Brian stuck his tongue out at the sky.
And finally Howie…
“Why am I always the last one?”
Writer: Do you prefer a story about four brave warriors?
Howie shook his head vigorously.
Writer: That’s what I thought.
And finally Howie, son of Luminares, from the Tamaras group. A race known for their beautiful voices…
*Howie’s eyes lighten up.*
The Tamaras would only communicate through songs. They wouldn’t talk but sing the things they wanted to say….
*Howie was ecstatic, grinning from ear to ear.*
Sadly Howard was mute.
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” he yelled, and his eyes went so wide that they looked like they were about to pop right out of their sockets.
Writer: I’m kidding. *laughing* You should have seen your face.
The other guys were laughing now too.
“I’ll give you this,” AJ said. “That was funny.”
“So is he going to sing the whole chapter?” Kevin asked a little worried which brought him a glare from Howie.
Writer: Are you crazy? That was part of the joke too.
Howie was beyond mad now. “You are all a bunch of…” He didn’t have time to finish the sentence since Nick interrupted him.
“Again Nick?!” Howie spat out.
“I didn’t say anything man.”
Writer: Well, say it then.
“Say what?” Once again Nick was confused.
Writer: Look at the sky Nick.
“Wow, anyone else thinks those birds coming are really big?”
Writer: Good boy, that was your line.
The others turned around and followed Nick’s gaze.
“Oh freaking shit, those aren’t birds.” AJ screamed. “Those are dragons. Run!”
But AJ couldn’t move since Kevin grabbed him by the shirt.
“Don’t run AJ. Those are Limuet’s messengers and they have already seen us. They will catch us either way. We will have to fight.”
“Okay you finally went completely crazy bro” AJ replied back but didn’t have any other choice than to unsheathe his sword. Kevin was already firing arrows at them.
The dragons were closer now, and the five brave warriors could see they weren’t alone, riding them were Limuet’s soldiers, the most ugly looking creatures, and there were a lot.
“I don’t think we will be able to defeat them. We are outnumbered.” AJ showed his concern to the sight of the dragons landing, which made Kevin put his bow away and unsheathe his sword too. Like AJ and Nick, who had already killed some Limuets, Kevin was an amazing swordsman. Brian pulled out his sling and proceeded to help his friends in defense from the Limuets and their dragons.
“A sling?! They are armed and you give me a sling?!”
Writer: You are a gnome.
“No, I’m not.” He said hopping around the bad guys smiling and hitting them with stones from his cute little sling. “Well, at least I’m good with this thing. But please, stop saying ‘cute little’ before every single thing related to me.”
Writer: But you are such a cute gnome.
Brian shook his head at the writer and kept killing bad guys with his cute… with his interesting weapon. Howie, on the other hand, waited till some warriors were closer to him then screamed till he knocked them.
“That’s my weapon? To scream?” He couldn’t believe it. “Okay confess it, you think I’m gay, right?”
Writer: What? Of course not. I just thought your screeching would be an original form of fighting the enemy.
“Can I have your sling Brian?” Howie asked ignoring the writer.
“No way man, sorry.”
“How am I supposed to hurt someone screeching?”
Writer: Hmmm, have you ever heard yourself?
“Aghhh,” someone screamed in pain and Howie turned around to find a Limuet pulling his sword out of Kevin’s arm which was bleeding profusely. Kevin had released his own sword and had been able to duck away a couple of times but he had finally stumbled and fallen to the floor which made the enemy immediately start to charge again. Howie panicked witnessing the Limuet about to swing the deathly blade to Kevin one last time, but Nick was faster. Running to his friend’s defense he just needed a couple of quick movements to kill the enemy. It gave Kevin time to recover himself and less than a minute later he was launching such a hard attack on another Limuet that the other two left ran to their dragons and flew away. A group of dragons had already left the scene after AJ had killed the first one, but there were still a couple there who kept their attack after their riders died.
“Are you okay Kevin?” AJ yelled rolling down the floor with amazing agility avoiding one of the dragon’s flames aimed at him.
“Yes I am,” he replied running from the other side to the dragon. He knew he had to take advantage of the dragon’s concentration on AJ. The animal wasn’t paying attention to anyone else so the minute he charged toward AJ again, Kevin climbed fast to its back and killed it with a well-aimed sword blow.
Howie and Brian exchanged a quick look with Nick, after witnessing Kevin’s victory, and the first two started to run around the other dragon yelling and jumping, trying to call his attention, while Nick, copying Kevin’s movements, killed the dragon.
Writer: Wow that was good guys.
“What, having us as human bait?” Brian asked recovering his breath.
Writer: Hey you were fantastic there, must be proud of yourselves as much as I am proud of this little action scene. You know, I think I’m going the right direction adding more action to this.
“No, you are not.” Kevin’s rage exploded. “What the hell was that and why did you let them injure me?”
“Well I was getting complaints about lack of realism….”
“Right because dragons and purple grass are so real,” Kevin rolled his eyes.
Writer: I didn’t want to have the typical good guys vanquishing all the bad guy without getting a tiny scratch; and you have to admit it was exciting, you were so good fighting.
“I didn’t like it,” Kevin kept growling. “Ouch Nick,” he complained to his friend who was cleaning and bandaging his arm with part of a shirt he had ripped into strips.
“Sorry bro but we need to stop the bleeding. You should try not to move that arm for a while.”
“Well that will be impossible” Kevin said pointing to the sky and shaking his head.
“You got to be kidding me!” AJ yelled watching another group of dragons coming in their direction. “Couldn’t you give us at least five minutes to rest?”
Writer: I really like to see you fighting. You look so cool, so athletic, so brave.
“Come on give us a break.” AJ continued. “Kevin is injured, he can’t fight anymore. It will be just two men against a group of bad guys and dragons this time.”
“Excuse me!” Brian interrupted him. “Two men?”
“Okay two men, a gnome and Howie, whatever he is in this chapter.”
“What the heck is this, the ‘lets make fun of Howie’ chapter?” Howie asked the same instant the dragons were landing in front of them.
Writer: Okay you win guys, maybe you were right and you have fought enough already, at least for now.
Suddenly a weird and loud noise could be heard from one of the sides of the mountain behind the boys. It sounded like an stampede or avalanche. Nick was the first one too look up and his eyes met thousands of gnomes running their way. They were yelling and kept appearing from behind rocks and trees, armed with stones, sticks and even some swords and axes.
“Look Brian, your family is coming to the rescue” Nick grinned from ear to ear in amusement.
“Yay” Brian hopped with happiness since it had been so long since the last time he had seen his relatives.
“Yodelaheee yodelaheeeheee” Howie greeted them.
“Wow that was really gay Howie” AJ laughed.
“Shut up!” Howie softly pushed him. A big group of gnomes were surrounding them while the majority were already fighting the dragons and Limuets.
“You need to hurry up guys” A taller than average gnome with a very long white beard advised them after shaking hands with AJ and Howie who were the ones closer to him. “Enter that tunnel behind you and…”
“Tunnel?” Kevin asked turning around and noticing it for the first time. “Okay that so wasn’t there before.”
Writer: So? Sue me.
“You will be received by the unicorns once you get to the Maldaran region.” The gnome kept explaining them. “They will help you. Now let us take charge of this and run. Good luck kids, and take care, especially you Brian.”
“Thanks uncle Phil,” Brian hugged the older gnome who patted him on the back.
“Thank you sir,” Kevin said shaking his hand and taking the lead to the tunnel.
“Take care,” Nick waved at them.
“See you another time.” AJ picked up his bag and ran after the others.
“yodelaheee yodelaheeeheee,” Howie winked at them. “Why you keep doing that?” He whined to the sky hearing the other four guys laughing.
Writer: I love to hear you yodeling. Too funny.
Howie rolled his eyes and crossed the tunnel after his friends. It wasn’t as long as he was fearing but what he found on the other side caught him completely unaware.
“It is snowing.” Howie said in a such a surprised tone that one could think he had never seen snow in his life.
“Duh! Of course it’s snowing” Nick replied jokingly although he was amazed by the magnificent scene too. A fantastic white landscape was extending in front of them and as far as Nick’s eyes could reach the snow was covering every single rock and every single tree, including the extremely tall pines from a near wood. The sky was blue now, not an average blue though but a magnificent intense one, and the wind was blowing in almost a musical way.
“Okay, yes, it’s lovely but now I’m freezing.” AJ said buttoning up his coat. “Why did you do that?”
Writer: I think it looks beautiful and we haven’t given enough importance to the weather in this story. I’m just changing that little detail. Besides I saw the trailer from that Chronicles of Narnia movie in the theater the other day and it looked so cool.
“In other words you keep copying ideas from others,” Nick winked at the sky.
Writer: Shut up or I’ll bring another dragon.
”I’m too cold.” Brian said putting his hands in the pockets of his red and green vest to keep them warm.
“Lets keep walking.” Kevin ordered. “I remember this place. The Mordana castle is just ahead of these woods.”
“Who are we rescuing again?” Nick started to walk after Kevin.
Writer: Mordana’s princess Nick. You are supposed to marry her.
“What? Why am I always the one getting married? I’m the youngest. I don’t want to get married.”
Writer: Too bad because you are doing it.
Nick stuck his tongue out at the writer.
Writer: Very mature.
“Exactly. I’m not mature enough so I’m not getting married.”
They hadn’t walked more than a few steps when a splendid white unicorn came from behind a tree in the way and approached them.
“AJ glad to know you are okay. We were worried about you.” The animal greeted the nomad warrior.
“Yippee another talking animal” AJ said and the others frowned their eyebrows at him.
“What are you talking about?” Howie was the first one to ask. “The unicorn didn’t speak.”
“Of course he did.”
“No Jay, he didn’t.” Kevin was worried now.
“Hurry up AJ, you need to follow me,” the unicorn spoke up again.
“Please tell me you heard that. How come you didn’t hear it?” AJ started to freak out since the others kept shaking their heads at him.
“Are you getting sick?” Kevin asked him. “It’s probably the cold. Let me take off my coat. We need to keep you warm.”
“I’m not sick,” he growled in frustration. “The horned horse is talking.”
“Is he delusional Kevin?” Nickolas asked the oldest man. “He probably is seeing mirages due to the weather.”
“That’s the sun that makes you do that, you idiot. And this unicorn greeted me.” The whole situation was exasperating AJ.
“You must follow me now.” The unicorn was now next to AJ. “Your master the great wizard will encounter us in the middle of the wood.”
“My master the wizard?”
“Your what?” Kevin put a hand over AJ’s forehead.
“I’m not sick Kevin!” AJ yelled completely annoyed now and that same moment a thunder boomed over them.
“What was that?” Nick asked looking at the other guys.
“I don’t know,” Kevin replied. “I guess a storm is coming.”
“Come on follow me,” the unicorn kept insisting
“Okay he did it again.” AJ pointed to the unicorn with his thumb.
“Has anybody considered that maybe AJ has powers and he can talk to animals?” Brian suddenly asked.
“Or maybe he is loony,” Nick laughed.
“Shut up Nick!” AJ yelled and another thunder boomed even louder.
“Do thunders boom every time you get mad?” Nick asked bewildered.
“It looks like it. You know, the unicorn did mention something about my master the wizard. That would make me a wizard too, right?”
“Like the ones living in bottles?”
“Those are genies, you idiot.”
“Oh right and we know you are no genie.” Nick giggled.
“Okay lets focus people.” Howie interrupted them. “AJ try to do something so we can be sure you have powers.
“Make it stop snowing.” Brian suggested.
AJ closed his eyes and suddenly the snow stopped
“Wow Cool!” AJ grinned.
“Cool? Cool? I’m hurt because I fight dragons and a bunch of ugly guys and you were a wizard all this time. Why didn’t you use your magic before?”
“Because I didn’t know I was a wizard. Why don’t you yell at the writer instead of me Kevin.”
“You know” Brian stated. “She probably just came up with that.”
Writer: Of course not, I had it planned all the way. You know I’m a very organized writer.
“Haha. Now that is funny”
Writer: Shut up Nick.
“Hey! AJ’s eyes brightened up. “Guys I think I have an idea.”
Writer: Why are you whispering there?
“Whispering? I’m not whispering.” AJ smiled and turned around to face Kevin. “I’m a wizard, lets get out of this while we can.
Writer: No, you wouldn’t dare.
“Watch me. Come on guys hold my hands.”
Realizing what AJ had came up with, the other guys held hands immediately.
“Hey this is like Star Trek episode,” Brian started to hum the theme from the show.
“Or Charmed” Howie added, which made the other guys look at him smiling.
“Charmed Howie? You watch Charmed? Are you planning another guest role in the WB?” Brian raised his eyebrows mockingly at him.
“Oh shut up, I do it because of the hot girls.”
“Yeah right,” Nick laughed out loud while starting to disappear with the rest. AJ had managed to teleport them somewhere else…. or so he thought.
“Hey!” AJ yelled but it was too late.
Writer: What? You think you will win? Hope you enjoyed that one, Mersey will be back next Saturday with the evil twin chapter Muahahahahaha!
The Evil Twin chapter
The moment Howie opened his eyes again, he realized that AJ had teleported them out of the fantasy chapter. He figured the other guys were not there yet so he decided to look around and hopefully figure out what the next genre would be. It was just a tiny room with nothing else but another door to go through.
Howie sighed. “I guess I’ll just have to wait for the guys to show up. I hope we’re not staying in this tiny room for this chapter, I’ll die being cramped in this tiny place with those four.”
“But that’s where you’re wrong Howie!” Bob the Roadie said.
“Holy cow! Where did you come from?”
“I have no idea but does that really matter?”
Howie shook his head. “I guess not?”
“You guessed right!” Bob the Roadie cheered and a buzz went off, signaling that Howie was correct. “Now listen carefully Howie, this is what you’ve won!”
Howie scratched his head. “I won something?”
“Yes you did!”
“Wow, this must be a really good chapter.”
“Now pay attention to this box right here.” Howie turned and found a mailbox that was decorated with purple fluorescent bulbs that blinked every two seconds. “In this box, you’ll find 2 envelopes, the first one is the magic words to send you back home and escape the wrath of the writers.”
“I’ll take that one!” Howie cried.
“But you don’t know what’s in envelope number two!”
“I don’t care! I want to go home!” Howie said excitedly. Free from the writer’s wrath, who wouldn’t want that?
“But I have to-”
“You don’t have to do anything, I chose this!”
Writer: Will you please just let him read that out loud? Obviously Bob is excited to be part of this great adventure unlike you guys.
Howie grinned. “You know what, since I’m in a good mood, why the heck not. Go ahead Bob, read the second envelope.”
Bob excitedly tore the second envelope, adjusted his hat and then read, “Your second choice is going through that door and having control over what happens in this chapter.”
That got Howie’s attention. “You mean you don’t have any control over anything?”
“I don’t know, I’m just here to read these to you.” Bob the Roadie said.
“I wasn’t talking to you Bob; I’m talking to the writer.” Howie explained and then looked up at the roof. “Well?”
Writer : Well, yeah, I guess.
“This is a tough decision.” Howie said. “I really am tired over searching for plots that fit us. I don’t think we’ll ever find one anyway. I think we should just go home.”
“But what about revenge Howie? What about getting back at them for making your life miserable?”
Bob scratched his head and started to back away slowly. Howie was being weird.
“I don’t know, I guess it doesn’t really matter since we’re going home.” Howie said. “But think about it! If you chose that door, you’ll get to boss them around and make Nick yodel!”
“Okay you’re scaring me.” Bob said. “Stop talking to yourself.”
“Who’s talking to himself?” Howie asked. “Yeah, who’s talking to whom?”
“Alrighty then, I’m out!” And with a click of the fingers, Bob was gone and Howie found himself holding hands with Brian to his left and AJ to his right in a circle.
“Woah, that’s some teleporting going on!” Nick said as he shook the dizziness away. “That was fun!”
“I’m sure it is for you Nick.” Kevin grumbled.
“Why does Kevin always have to grumble?” Nick asked.
“Why does Nick always have to whine?” Kevin asked.
“Why don’t the both of you just shut up?” Howie asked.
“Okay.” Both Kevin and Nick replied.
“Wow, that’s weird.” Brian said as he scratched his head.
“So where are we going?” AJ asked, absolutely bored now that he no longer possessed those powers of a nomad warrior.
“Through that door.” Howie pointed.
“Are you sure?” Brian asked. “Maybe we should just stay here for a bit, I’m still tired.”
“We’re going through that door now.” Howie said.
“Okay Howie, lets go.” Brian said as he approached the door. “Can I open it now?”
“Yes you may.” Howie replied. He waited for everyone to walk through the door before entering it himself. “This is not good. They’re my friends! But they made our hair purple Howie! And they laughed when we yodeled! Hmm…you’re right; I guess a little bit of payback wouldn’t be bad.”
Writer: Can we just move along now? God, you’re worse than me.
“Shush Writer! We’re controlling this chapter!”
Writer: So you said. Now move!
The moment they entered the door, the boys were greeted with the woods.
Kevin gasped. “Wow, how original.”
Writer: What? I –
“Kevin we’re on to chapter what now?”
“Do I look like I’m keeping count?” Kevin rebutted.
“Well, you are the anal one.” Nick pointed out as he tried to chase after a butterfly.
“We’re on to chapter eighteen now, should it really amuse you that woods seems to be the place of interest of these writers?”
“Well, not if the woods have a freaking SPA in it!” AJ said excitedly as he found an area for manicure and pedicure.
“Woah!” Brian cried excitedly. "There's a freaking SWING and a JACUZZI!"
“What? Where?” Nick asked as he stopped chasing the butterfly that was now trying to land on Kevin’s nose.
“There, look!” Brian pointed out excitedly to the swing. “Hurry, we can swing off that thing and hit the jacuzzi!”
“Great,” Kevin grumbled. “I guess I should just go over to that massage lady and get myself a good massage.”
When everyone was deep in their own leisure, Howie had dilemmas of his own…
“I don’t think I can go through this, what do you mean you can’t? Don’t you want your little payback? Well, but they’re our friends…yes, and they also made fun of us! We want this Howie, trust me!”
Writer: Um, okay, can I have time out?
Good Howie and Evil Howie stopped talking and sighed at the sky. “Why don’t you take a break and go drink some coconut juice?”
Writer: Is this the good Howie or the bad Howie talking?
“Does it matter?”
Writer: *shrug* I just thought I’d ask.
“Bad Howie here, sup bitch?”
Writer: Nothing Satan just thought I’d point out that you’re supposed to be vengeful; why in the world did you create a spa in the middle of the woods?
“Why not? They’re our friends, they deserve some rest after all the poop you threw us into!”
Writer: Okay, I know this is ‘I’m such a wuss I’m not putting my head in that bucket of ice for Nick’s Corner’ Howie talking. But being an experienced writer, I just want to say that you’re not doing all that great in your vengeful task. I can still take over you know.
“I don’t give a doo doo if you think I’m a wuss, I’m smart!” Howie said. “Look, we know what we’re doing okay? Now go scram witch.”
The writer, seeing that the evil Howie was taking too much control, decided to just shut up and drink her coconut juice and put on some Hawaiian music.
“Woohoo! Brian look! I’m COOOMMMIIINNGGG!!” And whoosh! Nick was hanging by a rope and swinging back and forth until he let go and dropped into the huge Jacuzzi, where Brian was shampooing his hair.
“Scrub a dub Nicky!” Brian said in his sing-a-long voice.
“I don’t know about you Brian, but I think the writer is finally out of plots to write and she’s giving us a break!” Nick said as he scrubbed his body clean.
Writer: Woah, there’re topless Backstreet Boys in this chapter? Damn, I want to look! I promise I won’t get in your way Howies.
“Oh my God you’re such a slut.” Evil Howie said. “As long as you stay quiet writer, I’m okay with it.” Good Howie said.
“Wishy washy wash her clothes and squish squash she goes!” Nick sang as Brian whistled along.
Meanwhile, the goth looking nail painter was attending to AJ. “Goth Chick, why are you painting my fingernails with clear polish? I said black!”
“This is natural polish. It’ll go black once it's dried up.”
“Really? What brand is this? It’s so cool!”
“D Meister.” The Goth Chick replied.
“Eh? That’s odd.”
Not far from AJ, lies a half asleep Kevin, having a facial. A beautiful woman was massaging his face, promising him free of wrinkles and thinning eyebrows.
To say the least, everyone was enjoying themselves.
“Great, we can have our little own party Howie…yes I agree, lets do something special for us! Great, how about…hair moisturizer! Yes, that’s what we need! Going through 17 chapters of torture and stupid cheesy plots made our hair curl up much!”
“We heard that!” The Howies hissed.
Writer: Like I care.
And so it went on that way for a few hours. Everyone was truly happy, especially Howie. The last thing Howie remembered doing was caressing his silky newly trimmed hair and having a great conversation with his evil twin that no one else seemed to be able to see, when they heard AJ's blood curdling screams.
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" AJ screamed. "I'm BLEEDING!"
"I don't think that is what we want Howie," Howie said to his evil twin. "What? That's EXACTLY what we want! AJ looks good in red anyway."
Howie shook his head. "No no no, I just meant that as a way of speech, blood curdling screams, it doesn't really have to have blood, it's just gross!...it's NOT gross Howie, it's very, artistic, we like this!...No Howie, we have to cut that back from this scene, plus, blood means gory, kids under 16 aren't allowed to read our chapter that way, it's not good for publicity!...Ugh, okay fine, you win this one my good self!"
AJ stopped screaming long enough to notice the blood that he was bathing in magically disappeared. "Thank God, I thought I was pulling a Carrie there!" AJ said and then continued on screaming.
"What? What?" Kevin came rushing towards him. "Why are you screaming?"
"Look! Look at THIS!" AJ said as he pretty much shoved his fingers at Kevin's face. "It's PINK! My fingernails are PINK!"
"Man, just have them repainted!" Kevin winked. "Wait what?"
"I'm NOT letting that demented Goth chick come anywhere near my nails again!"
"Stop being over dramatic AJ." Kevin said and then winked again.
"Dude, what's up with all the winking? You're making MY eyes twitch!" AJ groaned.
"I don't know but it's NOT funny!" Kevin yelled at the sky.
Writer: 'SORRY, WRITER ON VACATION'
"What the hell! How can you be on vacation! What did you do to us?"
Writer: I did nothing
"I'm WINKING for Christ's sakes!" Kevin cussed.
"And my NAILS...ARE...PINK!" AJ interjected as he waved his newly dried nails to the sky.
Writer : Aww, I LOVE pink! Looks good on you AJ.
"Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!" Brian screamed as he jumped out of the jacuzzi and ran towards the guys.
Writer: Is he naked?
"No he's not witch."
Writer: Stop talking to me evil one.
"Brian! What happened to your-"
"HAIR!" AJ cried. "It's PURPLE!"
"I KNOW!" Brian yelled. "Whatever is in that shampoo turned my hair into...into...THIS!"
"Okay that's IT! I've had enough of this! You've gone too far now!" Kevin yelled.
Writer: *sigh* I told you boys, it wasn't me!
"And my hair's not purple!" Brian retorted.
"Um guys?" Nick said as he reached where the guys were standing. "Am I...purple?"
AJ started to laugh uncontrollably until he was heaving. "We have Barney!"
"Shut up AJ!" Nick yelled.
"Ok what chapter is this supposed to be?" Brian asked.
"I don't know but I bet Howie will come running soon enough with something purple on him."
"Well, he won't be complaining." AJ said. "He freaking loves purple."
"And he...winks." Kevin said. "Is this an ode to Howie chapter?"
"Dude there is NO such thing. Howie's the forgotten one in fanfics remember?" Nick said as he studied his new purple hands.
"Hey Nick!" AJ said.
"I love you! You love me! We're one happy family...."
"AJ, run." Nick said, as he started to go after him. "I'm going to KEEEELLLL you!"
Kevin shook his head. "He's sounding like Howie too."
"Something's not right cousin. I'm not going anywhere until I find out what it is." Brian declared.
"Hey guys, nice hair Bri." Howie laughed.
"Shut up Howard." Brian snapped.
"Oh come on, you've been suffering for one chapter and you're complaining already? We've been ignored and bullied throughout, did you see us complaining?" Howies said.
"Actually, you have." Kevin pointed out. "And why are you referring to yourself as us?"
"What do you mean?" Howie asked. "Yeah, what the fuck are you trying to say?"
"Woah." Brian blinked. "Something's wrong with Howie."
"Nothing's wrong with US!"
"Who's US?" Brian frowned.
"Brian just leave it." Howie said. "Yeah, leave us the fuck alone."
"Okay Howie you're not making sense." Kevin said. It was during this time that Nick and AJ came back, with Bob the Roadie in between them.
"Bob the Roadie?" Brian asked.
"Who the heck is Bob the Roadie?" Kevin asked.
Writer: He's the guy who is always on the road with you guys.
"Really? How come we never knew about this?" Nick asked. "I just found him walking around in the woods."
Writer: Well, he only exist in fan fiction, he was once only a smiley with a cowboy hat though.
"You lost me." AJ said.
"Let me explain." Bob the Roadie said as he tipped his cowboy hat.
"Please." Kevin said.
"Well, this is the evil twin chapter, and Howie had an evil twin with him."
"So you mean, this is all Howie's doing?" AJ asked.
"Okay that's IT. Writer, you HAVE to make a door here so we can go to the next chapter. I am NOT going to wink anymore!" Kevin ordered.
"I don't want to leave!" Howie said.
"Evil Howie, shut up!" Brian yelled.
"Hey, don't talk to me like that!" Howie scolded.
"Sorry D, but your evil twin is getting on my nerves."
Howie moved to give Bob the Roadie a slap on the back of his head. "You just HAD to spill everything, didn't you?"
"Somebody ought to," Bob the roadie said. "Or we'll never see the next chapter."
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a door appeared, much to the joy of the four guys. Howie was still pouting. "I'm NOT going into that...AHHH!!"
Nick cracked his knuckles as a sign of victory after kicking Howie's butt through the door. "That feels good!"
"And with that, we have come to the end of the Evil Twin chapter. Till the next update, we say good bye and goodnight!"
Writer: Bob seriously, now you're just showing off. I'll be back next Saturday with the Sequel/recap chapter lol ;O)
Everything but the kitchen sink, but only because we never mentioned it before or
The Sequel chapter aka catch-up time!
When they got through the door, Kevin made sure to take a quick head count, “Okay let’s see…Nick?”
“Still a gnome?”
“Ha ha very funny…and no.”
“What’s crack a lacking?”
“I have no idea what that means but okay…Howie?”
“Just one of you right?”
“And are you the good Howie or the bad Howie?”
“I’m all good.”
“Because the good Howie would have never turned against us in a chapter like you did…”
“Look, I had my reasons okay? Ever since this stinking story started it’s all been about you guys and the writers have been kind of well, jerkish to me. I got my revenge.”
“On us not the writers.”
“Well yeah, but still it was worth it to see you turn purple Nicky!”
“Anyway, where the hell are we now?” Kevin said, bored with all the Howie centered talk.
“See what I mean? The abuse starts again!”
“But that’s not my fault it’s hers!” Kevin said pointing up at the writer.
Writer: Okay maybe I wrote it but that doesn’t mean you weren’t thinking that does it?
“Hey! I’m not boring!” Howie said placing his hands under his arms and doing the chicken dance.
All the guys laughed.
“You suck!” Howie said pointing his finger up at the writer.
Writer: Relax; I was only joking…besides I won’t make fun of you at all this chapter okay?
Nick leaned over and whispered into Brian’s ear, “I think it’s the poultry obsessed one again.” Brian nodded but then quickly stopped when he saw someone slowly walking up the hill towards them.
“Oh my God…it can’t be…” He said in shock.
“It’s Nicole!!!!” Nick finished when he saw his long lost love in full view. She looked beautiful as ever with her long flowing blonde hair and her gorgeous buxom body. The sun seemed to be following her as suddenly everything became brighter as she walked by. Birds began chirping, dead flowers began to bloom and…
“Okay don’t you think you’re overdoing it a bit? Nick’s happy we get it…” AJ said rolling his eyes.
Writer: I just wanted to make it clear, jeez relax.
Nick ran to meet his girlfriend and grabbed her in a tight embrace, picking her up and twirling her around as he did.
“Oh my God Nicole I have missed you SOOO much!! You have no idea. My life has been Incomplete with you!”
She began to cry as she gently caressed his cheek, “I have felt the same way sweet heart.”
“So where are the others than?” AJ asked walking up to meet the cute couple.
Once again Nicole started to cry, leaning into her boyfriend as they all sat down on a log. “It was horrible…just horrible.”
“What happened?” Kevin asked in a soft voice, hoping that the others were okay.
“Yeah the last time we saw you we were frolicking outside that cabin in the woods.”
Brian smirked, “AJ did you just say you were frolicking?”
“Actually I said WE were frolicking dumbass!”
“I do not frolick.”
“You’re right, gnomes tra la la they don’t frolick!”
AJ turned to Howie and gave him a high five, “Wow, good one D!”
“Well I might have tra la la’d but at least I didn’t yodel!”
“Guys ENOUGH!! Can’t you see my poor girlfriend has been through hell?” Nick said placing his hands protectively around Nicole, “go ahead sweetie, you were saying?”
“Well we were doing those star jumps on the bed remember Nick?” Nick nodded, “The next thing I knew I was outside with the rest of the girls, you guys were nowhere to be found. It was so weird, like you know what I mean?”
Once again Nick nodded but was kind of confused.
“Well Alex said we should go back and try to find you, you know because maybe there was a chance you guys would still let us be your opening act…”
“Oh lord, I forgot about that.” Kevin grunted but was quickly hushed by Howie as Nicole continued.
“And then all of the sudden this weird guy fell from the tree.”
“The Axe man!” All five guys said at the same time.
She nodded, “Yeah he had an axe and before I could say anything to Alex he kind of well…kind of chopped off her head!”
“Shit!” AJ said with his eyes wide.
“Yeah, it sucked.” She answered looking down at the ground and popping her gum. “Anyway…so Heidi, Brianna, Kelly and myself looked at each other and didn’t know what to do, so we ran!”
“You would think so, but then all of the sudden…Kelly lost her footing and fell down a hill.”
“Is she okay?”
Everyone looked at Nick when he asked that question as if he was the dumbest kid in the universe.
Writer: well sorry but that was a dumb question, she’s obviously by herself Nick.
“But you made me ask it!”
Writer: I know you are but what am I?
Writer: Turkey butt!
“Ookay then…” Nick said turning his attention back to his girlfriend.
“She was eaten by a duck!” Nicole screamed out grief stricken. All the boys started laughing at that point except Kevin who shuddered at the memory of the scary duck that had attacked him.
“The duck ate her ass?”
“Well he ate all of her actually.”
Brian shook his head, “Honey, AJ was just using an expression.”
“So what happened after the *giggles* duck ate your friend?” Brian asked but it was getting harder and harder for the boys to keep a straight face now which was further agitating Nick who couldn’t believe how heartless these people could be.
“Well, after that happened Heidi, Brianna and I continued on looking for you guys when all of the sudden we got really hungry. So we stopped at a Subway…and….and…” She started bawling her eyes out at this point, “And Brianna, well she chocked to death on a tuna Sub!”
“What? How the hell? It’s tuna! Did she forget to swallow or something? How dumb do you have to be to choke on TUNA?” AJ looked up at the end of his tirade to see everyone staring at him.
“Well it’s true!” He added.
“So what happened next Nicole, I know it’s hard but you can tell us.”
“There were these talking pigs…”
“Oh God…” Kevin said placing his hands on his head to rub at an oncoming headache.
“And well they didn’t like us very much because we were making fun of their accents.”
“Yeah those pigs kind of had anger management issues.” Nick said stopping momentarily and shaking his head at how stupid that sounded.
“They kind of beat us with sticks and Heidi well she got hit repeatedly in the head so I brought her to a hospital and we thought we were going to be okay but they said she had cancer and one doctor insisted her leg be chopped off. She died on the table.”
“Oh, sorry to hear that Nicole.”
She nodded and blew her nose on Nick’s sleeve.
“Ewww!” Nick said in disgust.
Writer: Oh like you wouldn’t do that to one of the guys.
“So, I have been roaming around ever since and then luckily I found you and the rest is history.”
Nick hugged his girlfriend tight to his chest, never wanting to let her go. “Now you are here with us and you are safe and sound, we’ll never let anything happen to you ever!”
Just as he said that, a dark cloud formed right over their heads and the wind started to howl with increased intensity. “You had to say that Carter didn’t you?” AJ said as he looked up to see a huge spaceship fall just below the clouds.
The wind was now blowing so fiercely the boys could barely stand and they all went falling to the ground, Nick never letting go of his long lost love as they lay side by side. The spaceship landed with a huge thud which made the earth quake and some of the trees surrounding it fall.
“Okay raise your hand if you think this is getting weird?” AJ said from the ground as the huge doors to the ship opened and out came Lord Nohajevian.
“Hey I thought we managed to shoot you!” Brian said standing up and walking over to join the rest of the boys who were now grouping into one cluster all protectively wrapped around each other.
“I got better!” Nohajevian said walking down the ramp with a slight limp.
“Shucks” Brian said, disappointed that he hadn’t killed the dark and evil Lord.
Scratching his head in confusion, Kevin whispered, “Guys isn’t this a little strange?”
“A little?” Howie asked as the gimpy evil guy walked closer to them.
“Excuse me I’m an EVIL LORD! Gimpy evil guy doesn’t have the same effect.”
Writer: Well excuse me...
“And I might not be evil, you know I’ve had a hard life…it’s not easy being a dark Lord. None of you have ANY idea…cue music!” It’s not easy being Evil
Sung by Lord Nohajevian
My life hasn’t been easy I can tell you this….
Killing and slaying people in my wake…
All I want is love and just some tenderness…
Why do I have to burn people at the stake?
It’s not easy being evil
No it’s not
It’s not easy when you hear people scream your name…
Nick: Wow they scream your name? I can barely pronounce your name.
Lord Nohajevian: Interrupt me again and I’ll kill you!
Nick: Okie dokie…sorry keep going. It’s not easy being evil…
It’s not nice being dark all the time
I want light in my life yes its true…
So please think about it, next time you call someone a villain…
Evil people have feelings too
“Oh my God! You even gave the Dark Lord a song? But not me? How fair is that?” Howie asked, now walking back to the log and sitting down.
“I’m sorry to hear that so many people misjudged you Lord Nohajevian, does this mean you are changing your ways and plan to be good?” Brian asked now placing his hand on the evil Lord’s shoulder.
“Oh goodness no, I just came to kidnap the girl.”
“Oh, never mind then.”
Nick stood in front of his girlfriend, “You can’t take my girlfriend, I just got her back!
Nohajevian walked closer to Nick now and held out his hand, “Come to me Princess Nicole and I will spare your boyfriend.”
“Like Oh my God did you just call me a princess?”
“Yes I did, if you come with me I will treat you like royalty I promise.”
“Nicole don’t listen to him, he is lying to you, he’s going to bring you back to his planet and then kill you!”
“But he called me a princess Nick and well, since my band mates are all dead, I have nothing left for me on Earth.”
“But what about me?”
“You are cute and all but, I think I should go with him besides…maybe he has a band!”
She walked over and took Nohajevian’s hand who kissed it and together they both walked back into the spaceship. The boys watched as it zoomed into the night sky and disappeared.
“Well that didn’t go like I expected it would.” AJ said now placing his arm around a love lorn Nick.
“Oh Lord and we were just getting over all the ‘where’s Nicole’ talk every five seconds.” Kevin said walking over and hugging his friend.
“My life can’t go on without her Kevin…she was my one love…” He said sobbing into his big brother’s shoulder.
“Aww it’s going to be okay little man…hush…come on and take a walk with me.”
Nick stood up and blew his nose on his sleeve, “Where are we going?”
“Into the woods.”
“Okay.” Nick followed Kevin as they walked down the small hill and into the woods, leaving the other three boys standing around the log confused about what was going on.
“This has been a weird little chapter hasn’t it?” Brian said taking a seat next to Howie who was still bitter he wasn’t able to have his own song.
“Damn right I’m still bitter!” Howie said bitterly.
“Redundant much?” AJ said looking up at the sky and winking.
“So chickie, are you going to tell us what genre this is?”
Writer: Excuse me, but I do not like to be called a chick AJ.
“Oh, sorry ma’am.”
Writer: That’s better.
“So what’s the genre? Hello? Hello? Where did she go?”
“Maybe she is following Nick and Kevin now.”
“Maybe Rok, So does that mean we are on our own?”
“I have no idea AJ, it’s not like this stupid story came with an instruction book or anything.”
“It should have though.”
“Amen to that Howie!” Brian said looking out to the woods to see if he could see his friends. “Why do you think they went out there?”
“Maybe Kevin is going to do us all a favor and kill the kid and put us all out of our misery from hearing him whine.”
“You know what’s weird?” Howie and AJ looked over at Brian who was now pacing back and forth. “That all these people are suddenly showing up again, I mean Nicole then that Evil guy and then she mentioned the pigs and the duck…”
“Oh my God you don’t think that damn chinchilla is around here do you?” AJ said suddenly looking up at the tree.
“Wait a minute guys; you don’t think this is some weird kind of recapping chapter? Like a ‘very special’ episode on good TV night?” Howie asked both boys who looked at each other and shrugged.
“They don’t do that in stories do they?”
“Not usually but they do sometimes bring back characters in…oh of course! This is some weird sequel, like a continuation!”
“Oh, shouldn’t one story end before the sequel starts?”
Writer: Do you have any idea how hard it is to write with two other people? How much planning it takes? We are lucky if we even finish this one.
“I’m just asking, now who needs to relax… jeez louise!” AJ said shaking his head at the writer.
Writer: Okay sorry, I’m just in a bad mood. Yes you are correct, this is a sequel and yes you are also correct, most sequels happen after the first story is finished but that will not happen for this one so we are just kind of throwing it here.
“Is that how this story is working? Are you just randomly throwing things together?” Howie asked as the other two laughed.
“Duh D have you been keeping up with this stupid tale?” AJ asked just as a chinchilla…
“AHHH! Okay I take it back…I take it back!!!” AJ yelped out like a scared five year old, looking up at the tree in horror.
“She did say she was in a bad mood Bone.” Brian said trying his hardest not to laugh at his wussy friend.
“Okay enough with the name calling!”
Writer: Anyway, that is why you have all of your ‘old’ friends coming back to see you this chapter.
“But why did Kevin and Nick go out into the woods?” Howie asked innocently.
When all of the sudden, “Hey where is that music coming from? I know that music…that sounds like…like…PORN music!” AJ said highly amused.
All three boys suddenly turned their heads to look out into the woods, “Oh my God you don’t think they are…they wouldn’t be…would they?” Brian asked just as he saw their two friends walking back up the hill towards them…well Nick was sprinting up the hill, Kevin was walking, with his shirt off and his broad shoulders and muscular build showing.
“Okay that description was totally unnecessary,” Nick said shaking his head and looking a little pale.
Brian’s head went down as did Howie’s but AJ couldn’t seem to wipe the smirk off his face, “So…Nicky…what were you two doing in the woods?”
Before Nick could answer Kevin finally reached the top of the hill as he was buttoning his shirt. “Uh…well…we kind of…”
AJ was just about laughing now, “Yeah?”
“Let me explain Nick.” Kevin said walking over and taking a seat on the log, “We were out there and all of the sudden Jason showed up out of nowhere.”
“Jason?” Brian asked confused.
“Yeah the Friday the Thirteenth dude, it was SO cool!!” Nick replied.
“Oh yeah…him, he’s a nice guy.” AJ said taking out a cigarette and lighting it up.
“Oh yeah real nice AJ, he just about killed the two of us!” Kevin scowled sounding exasperated.
“Yeah J, I was all like whoa dude can I have your autograph! And he was all like…I’m so going to kill you man! And I was all like shit and he was all like chasing after me…”
“So…” Kevin said wisely interrupting the blonde so this way everyone would get a REAL account of what happened, “I saw Nick being chased by this guy and I didn’t know what to do so I started throwing rocks at him.”
“Yeah, and he got pissed.”
“Well I would too if you were throwing rocks at me!”
“Whose side are you on AJ?”
“I’m sorry, go ahead…”
“Thanks, so he started coming after me but my shirt got caught on a tree branch just as he was about to attack me! I tried to unbutton it but I couldn’t break free.”
“And where were you when all this was happening?” Brian asked Nick who still was pale as he heard his older friend explain what had happened.
“I was hiding, dude he had a friggin machete!”
“Nice…” AJ said rolling his eyes.
“Kevin told me to stay hidden, didn’t you Kev?”
“Yes I did.”
“See?” Nick said sticking his tongue out at AJ.
“So what happened next?”
When Brian asked that question both Kevin and Nick looked at each other before Kevin continued, “Well…suddenly we heard a familiar voice humming a familiar tune and we looked up to see Justin walk by. At first I thought he was on a cell phone but he actually just had his hand up to his face talking to himself about all the people he was going to work on his next album with.”
“I don’t think that guy is all there personally…” Nick said twirling his finger around by his temple.
“Anyway when Jason heard Justin humming he stopped and turned towards the sound of his voice…”
“It was like he was in a trance or something.” Nick added.
“Well, Justin waved at the guy and said something like don’t worry I didn’t forget, I’ll have my people call your people, thanks for not killing me again dude.” Kevin continued.
“And then out of nowhere we heard porn music and well…let’s just say I guess Jason really REALLY likes Justin and leave it at that.” All five boys shuddered.
“So wait! You guys weren’t out there doing the nasty then?” AJ said kind of disappointed.
Writer: See? I told you guys, everyone wants the two of you to get it on!
“When did you tell them that?” Howie asked innocently once again.
“Not important.” Both Kevin and Nick said at the same time.
“So can we go yet? I mean I think you just about covered everything there was to cover in this chapter.” Brian started listing all of the genres that this chapter covered so eloquently I might add and finished with, “And don’t forget about Nicole.”
“Oh Nicole, I had almost forgotten about her” Said Nick, while scratching his butt.
“Wow dude, she’s been gone for about ten minutes and you already don’t remember her?” AJ shook his head.
“I bounce back fast.”
“Wait what about that never ending chapter where we all became cowboys and stuff? That was pretty cool.”
Writer: Oh that’s the AU chapter Nick.
“Yeah that one!”
Just as Nick said that a bullet flew by his head as a stampede of horses with cowboys on them came charging out of the woods.
“Oh yeah that was brilliant Nick!” Kevin stood up and motioned for everyone to follow him as they ran trying their hardest to avoid the cowboys.
“Where are we going now?” Howie huffed trying his hardest to keep up.
“I’m hoping we’ll find a door or something along the way…” Kevin yelled back to the guys.
“I’m hoping the next chapter will be about us finding a restroom because I have to pee like no one’s business!” AJ added.
“That would be a Weird World…don’t you know it?” Nick sang out of the blue.
Writer: Had to get at least one lyric in there!
“Oh I get it!” Kevin said just as he fell into a hole.
All the other boys tried to stop before they met the same fate but their momentum was too great so all of them went tumbling down…
“At least it wasn’t a cliff!” AJ bellowed before hitting the ground with a thud. Thanks for reading, we have fallen behind on this one but we will try our best to get the next chapter up to you by next Saturday. Stupid real life!! lol
And Then There Was Pepe… Say What?
The Foreign Language chapter
~ By (Just) Marina ~
Nuevamente Kevin no tenía idea donde estaba. Cuando abrió los ojos se encontró en el medio de lo que parecía una habitación de hotel pero no recordaba cómo había llegado ahí. Por supuesto ya nada le sorprendía en esta historia. Miró a su alrededor y se dio cuenta de que sus ‘hermanos’ no estaban con él. “Genial,” dijo en voz alta. “Otra vez nos ha separado”. No había terminado de hablar cuando la puerta se abrió y los otros cuatro entraron apurados.
“No entiendo nada de lo que está pasando,” le dijo Brian mostrando gran preocupación. “Okay wait.” Brian said to the ceiling. “Since when do I speak Spanish?”
“Spanish? So that’s it” Nick brought a hand to his chest. “Man, I thought I was going crazy since I couldn’t understand a single word,” he added after releasing a deep breath.
Writer: Sorry, English isn’t allowed now. This is the foreign language chapter so if you want to say something say it in Spanish.
“Pero yo no hablo español” Nick whined, then looked in astonishment to the other guys and gave them a big grin “Cool!”
“Okay muchachos esto no me gusta nada.” Howie comentó sintiéndose más nervioso que de costumbre en esta historia.
“Sí, entiendo lo que estás diciendo D. Es horrible no saber que es lo que uno está diciendo. Qué pasa si la escritora decide hacernos pasar por otra de sus locuras ahora que estamos medio mareados con este nuevo idioma?”
“Te refieres a alguna nueva tragedia. Ni lo digas Brian, ya sabemos que siempre soy yo la víctima. Ahora si que estoy asustado.” Nick comenzó a temblar. “Y por si fuera poco creo que estoy enfermo.”
“Cálmate Nick” Kevin le dijo acercándose a él y colocando un brazo sobre sus hombros. “No te preocupes, todo va a salir bien.” Hizo una pausa antes de continuar. “Hold on. Time out.”
Writer: You are obnoxious.
“Why am I hugging him? I don’t understand anything. For all I know this could be another slash chapter”
Writer: Jeez don’t be paranoid. You are hugging Nick because he is nervous and not feeling okay, nothing else. But if you want….
“No! Don’t you dare.”
Writer: Okay then let me go on.
“Why am I not feeling okay? I was feeling great. What’s with you girls wanting to get me sick all the time?”
Writer: Shut up Nick.
“With fans like these…” Nick rolled his eyes and took a seat on a couch deciding to ignore the writer who was already ignoring him.
Writer: Very mature Nick. Mimicking me while I’m talking.
“¿Alguien sabe dónde estamos?” AJ preguntó acercándose a una de las ventanas.
“Creo que estamos en Latinoamérica.” Brian contestó luego de acercarse a la misma ventana y tratando de reconocer exactamente en qué lugar estaban.
“Reconoces algo?” Kevin preguntó.
“No en la calle pero creo reconocer el hotel de alguna de nuestras giras,” respondió su primo alejándose de la ventana y tomando asiento en el sillón junto a Nick quien estaba jugando con un cenicero.
“Sí, creo que es muy probable que estemos en Latinoamérica.” Kevin seguía tratando de encontrar algo que les permitiera saber dónde estaban exactamente y daba vueltas por la habitación revisando todo mientras hablaba. “Porque si es un fanfic en otro idioma lo más probable es que quiera acercarnos a otra cultura. Quizá ella es argentina y quiere un fanfic en el que uno de nosotros conoce a una chicha argentina y se enamora o algo así.”
“Pero ya pasamos por el capítulo romántico.” Brian le recordó.
“Claro, pero también pasamos por el médico y ahora resulta que me quieren enfermar de nuevo.” Nick susurró mostrando en su rostro su desagrado con el capítulo y sin levantar la mirada del cenicero.
“Exacto.” Kevin le dio la razón. “Nunca se sabe con estas escritoras. Lo único que me atrevería a asegurar es que estamos en un país donde se habla español.”
“Brasil?” Nick trató de adivinar dejando el cenicero nuevamente en la mesa que estaba frente a él.
“Nick, en Brasil no hablan español.” AJ lo corrigió sonriendo.
“Estás seguro?” Nick preguntó mirando uno a uno a los otros cuatro quienes al notar la confusión en su rostro empezaron a reír.
“Why are they laughing at me?” he pouted.
Writer: Because you said something dumb.”
“How could I say something dumb when I DON’T SPEAK SPANISH!”
Writer: There’s no need for yelling Mr. ‘people in Spain speak Spanish’.
“See, that proves what I’ve been saying all the time. That you are the one making me say stupid things.”
Writer: Whatever. Can I go on?
“No! At least let D translate it for us.”
Writer: You might end up more confused if I do that. No offense Howie, but sometimes it looks like Brian understands more Spanish than you.
“I’m just half Latin.” Howie defended himself.
Writer: Either way. And stop interrupting me. Where we were?
“We were just coming to the conclusion that this chapter sucks. But then there’s nothing strange there, considering your previous chapters.” Kevin was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed in front of him, looking at the ceiling. “They all suck, it’s just that this one is the worst” he had time to growl just before he started to unbutton his shirt.
“Muchachos hace mucho calor acá creo que me voy a la piscina,” dijo desvistiéndose súbitamente frente a la mirada atónita del resto del grupo. “Time out. What the hell am I doing?” he yelled picking up his shirt from the floor where he had throw all his clothes and covering himself.
“Jeez, have some decency Kevin, what’s with the sudden striptease?” AJ was laughing as much as the rest of the guys.
“I think she mentioned something about a pool” Howie said not really convinced of what he had heard and still confused by Kevin’s strange behavior.
“Nude?! I usually use a swimsuit when I go swimming, thank you very much. Or this is a nudist hotel?” Kevin’s face was red but more from anger than from having taken off his clothes in front of everybody.
“See, maybe we are in Rio. There are a lot of nudist beaches there” Nick grinned.
“And that of course you know.” AJ said taking a seat next to Nick and playfully smacking him upside the head. “You don’t know the capital from any country but of course you have to know which places have nudist beaches.”
“It’s a gift.” Nick grinned, eyebrows waggling.
“So are you going to tell me what that was?” Kevin kept yelling to the ceiling now fully dressed. “Why did you make me take off my clothes?”
Writer: That was for saying that my chapter sucks.
“But it does,” he said and her hand went immediately to the buttons of his shirt. “Wait! Wait! Okay sorry. It doesn’t suck…”
Writer: Much better.
Writer: I’ll ignore that last remark but just because I want to finish my story fast.
“So how about writing the rest of this thing in a language we know?” AJ interrupted them.
Writer: You all? That’s impossible. Not even if I make it in English considering Nick’s vocabulary. ‘I resign in Florida’ anyone?
“Haha. Very funny…NOT!”
“Come on. Drop the Spanish please.” Kevin tried to convince the writer with a smile.
Writer: Okay, I’ll do it. Sprichst du Deutsh Kevin?”
“Ein bisschen,” he quickly replied but regretted it the minute the words left his mouth. “Please not German.”
Writer: Oh come on, nur ein bisschen? Well, it doesn’t matter either way because now I really think I should write this chapter in German. It’s not only that I like the language but we have to consider that you have lots of German fans, which could bring new readers to this story.
Alle nickten zustimmend.
“Du hast recht,” sagte Brian.
“Das ist mir egal. Ich bin eigentlich besorgt, Brian. Was sollen wir jetzt machen?” fragte AJ.
“Villeicht sollen wir raus gehen” Brian antwortete.
“Hey, Ich finde die Idee nicht schlecht.” Kevin näherte sich der Tür. “Halt, I mean, stop!” He shouted realizing what he was doing. “Where are we going? I’m not leaving this place without knowing what’s going on.”
Writer: Well I changed it to German for you to understand.
“The only thing I understood was the word Tür and just because I was walking to the door. I’m not German!”
Writer: Stop yelling at me. And how come you don’t speak German after all those years in Germany?
“I told you I speak some, not enough.” Kevin was completely exasperated now.
Writer: So that’s it. Am I supposed to forget about my foreign language chapter because you don’t know languages? You have an idea how much this chapter meant to me? No, of course not. All you care about is you. You don’t care that for once I was happy thinking that I could finish my chapter on time since it would be easier for me to write it in Spanish or German. I could put the things I really wanted without getting a headache.
“I’m the one having a headache” Brian complained.
Writer: See, you keep interrupting me. You don’t care that I’m having the hardest time trying to keep on with this story *cries*
“Sorry. Go on,” Brian blushed hearing the writer cry.
Writer: No, it’s too late now. The moment is gone. I lost the flow and now I’m probably getting another writer’s block.
“Como on, you can do it,” Howie tried to cheer her up feeling sorry for her.
Writer: No, forget it. And it’s your fault. Because of you guys this chapter once again won’t be finished on time.
The boys looked at each other not knowing what was happening since it seemed someone else that they couldn’t see was laughing. Nick and AJ exchanged a look fearing that the writer was pulling a Howie and showing her evil twin personality or something.
Another Writer (still laughing): Come on. You won’t have a chapter on time no matter the language.
Writer (or Writer Number 1 if you are confused): What are you doing in my chapter?
Another Writer (Writer Number 2 for the confused peeps out there): Just pointing out the obvious.
“I think is the crazy duck writer. You know, the girl that loves poultry.” Nick whispered to AJ.
Writer: Yes, I know, I’m taking too much time to write my chapters but…
Another Writer (interrupting her): Yes, and that’s not good for the story. And I’m not sure if I get this chapter, considering that I didn’t understand half of it.
“You too,” Nick exclaimed. “Great at least one of you is not completely crazy.”
Writer: Excuse me. She is the poultry lover.
“Oh right” Nick bite his bottom lip.
Another Writer: Hey, leave my poultry alone.
“Are they fighting?” Brian asked Kevin in a whisper.
“I don’t know. It certainly looks like it. Hey maybe they’ll fight and leave us alone.”
Another writer: And you know my poultry makes people laugh. You are making them speak Spanish when they don’t understand that language.
“Well, I have to confess that I do know some Spanish.” Nick interrupted her. “See I have this friend Pepe and we always…”
“Oh oh. I think that’s the third one.” Brian said looking at the ceiling.
“Why is she laughing?”
And Yet Another Writer (yes...you got it...that would be Writer Number 3): He said Pepe. *laughs even more*
The boys looked at each other extremely confused.
“I think this is the craziest one.” AJ said lighting a cigarette.
And Yet Another Writer: Hey!
Writer: Okay, what the heck are you both doing here?
Another Writer: Well, you didn’t seem to be finishing this chapter in this life time so I had to come here to make sure you are working on it.
Writer: How about you?
And Yet Another Writer: Me? Well he said Pepe. *giggling*
Writer: Is not like it’s the first time. He had said Pepe before.
And Yet Another Writer: Not in front of me.
Writer: He didn’t say it in front of you BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSE TO BE HERE!
“All this just because I said Pepe?” Nick asked to the ceiling.
“Somebody called me?” A funny extremely short guy with a green, yellow and red Mexican mariachi hat and a trumpet in one hand asked entering the room. “Oh wait. I should speak in another language, right? Alguinski calli mio?”
“Who are you?” Nick asked him taking a couple of steps back till he was standing behind Kevin. This little guy was making him nervous.
“No, you are not.”
And Yet Another Writer: Pepe! Okay, it's bad enough you keep us waiting with your chapter, you HAVE to steal Pepe away from me! You KNOW he's my source of inspiration! My funny muse! My THING to make sure I'm NEVER late, just *almost* in time from my deadline. My damn MOJO! How can you even play with the idea that it's OKAY to take Pepe away from me?"
And Yet Another Writer: That's right, you're lost for words now! I'm taking back your 1 month supply of cookies and your life size pin up Kevin poster!
"Excuse me?" Kevin interrupted.
And Yet Another Writer: Not now Kevin, you're NOT getting a time out!
Another Writer: And that battery operated chicken, take that away too!
Another Writer: What?
Writer: You know you are the only one that has one of those, right?
Another Writer: Oh right. I got carried away by the moment.
“Am I the only one who doesn’t understand a thing of what’s going on?” AJ asked to the other boys.
“Man I think I understood more when this thing was in Spanish.” Kevin replied.
And Yet Another Writer. How dare you to take Pepe.
Writer: May I speak now?
And Yet Another Writer: What do you have to say? Are you giving us another excuse?
Writer: But I didn’t bring Pepe here.
And Yet Another Writer: You didn’t? Then who..?
*Sound of foot tapping*
Another Writer: Okay, I’ll admit it. It was me. I thought your chapter was lacking some emotion. Especially because… I can’t understand half of it! So it was Pepe or a chicken in a mariachi hat.
Writer: I should have suspected it the minute Pepe spoke up. What language is that?
Another Writer: The language you should have used in this chapter so you could have finished it 7 weeks ago like you should have.
And Yet Another Writer: I’m taking Pepe with me.
Writer: Wait mers…
“Wait! Did you just call her mers?” Howie asked to the ceiling practically pointing a finger to it. “Is that her name?”
Writer: Mers? No,…of course…of course not. I said… I said merci. Yes! Merci, that’s what I said, as in thank you for coming *whistles* It’s French you know, which takes me back to foreign languages…. which takes me back to my chapter that you are interrupting. And… you know what… *whispering* stop looking at me girls. It’s your fault for coming here* *whistles even more* Look a door!
Silence and confused faces
Writer: Didn’t you hear me? There's your saving door right behind you. Go on guys! I give up.
The boys looked at each other, looked at the door and ran to it trying to escape from the crazier than ever writers.Thanks for reading! Mersey will be back on Saturday with a new chapter!
~ Chapter 21~
Cookies...cherries...Ding Ding Tap Tap Ring! aka The Superhero chapter
~ By Mersey~
The moment the boys entered another chapter and started to look around for clues of what genre they were thrown into this time, the writer called on her muse and said this to him:
Writer: I can almost smell it Pepe.
Pepe: Smell what?
Writer: The end of all things.
Pepe: Really? What does it smell like?
Writer: Like the end of all things, God, pay attention!
Writer: Are you done with that letter? I need to start my chapter now.
Pepe: I’m almost done.
Writer: Make it quick, I have a deadline.
Pepe: So you said all the time it was your turn.
Writer: Two days have gone by and I keep deleting what I have for this chapter cause you were being a very useless muse. Come on now, get that letter done!
Pepe: Okay, okay I’m done! Jeez woman!
Meanwhile, the boys were, you guessed it, in the woods; tired of looking for a damn clue. A hint. A riddle. A joke –
“Or a lizard with a letter tied to its back.” Kevin cut in.
“Oh my God the poor lizard! He’s been turned into a slave!” Brian raged.
“We should bring this matter to PETA!” AJ, the ever animal loving guy in the group, exclaimed.
“Isn’t Peta that actress who acted in that Le Femme Nikita series? She’s HOT. Why are we bringing this animal abuse case to her? Can I go?” Nick asked, getting excited by the second.
“Dude she’s like 40 and like 10 years your senior. What’s wrong with you?” AJ asked.
“Age is nothing but a number.” Brian defended himself.
“And besides, if she’s really forty, that would make her 15 years his senior, not 10.” Howie pointed out, ever the accountant of the group.
“The lizard doesn’t mind at all, he likes being a post lizard.” Kevin said.
Everyone looked at Kevin as if he had grown another head.
“Did you say the lizard talked to you?” AJ asked.
“No dumbass. Lizards don’t talk, what are you on?” Kevin groaned. “It said so in the disclaimer section of this letter.”
“The what now?” Brian asked, scratching his head.
Dear Backstreet Boys,
You’ve been chosen, by the 3Ms, to be the chosen 5 that will
ultimately save this fanfiction. Everything fanfiction wise is at stake
and the fate of everything fanfiction is now in your hands. Save the fanfiction
world means saving yourself, cause well, you’re in it right now, if you fail you’ll
cease to exist, bwahahahahaahahahaha! So yeah, good luck and may you find that
ever precious door at the end of this chapter!
You wish I left a name don’t you?
NB: this letter is written by Pepe the muse and most probably will be edited, along with the entire chapter, by the 2nd writer, otherwise known as the one who loves poultry also known as ‘the other writer’ from the previous chapter.
Disclaimer: The lizard that will be delivering this letter will do so by no force/threats from the writer. The lizard is also a male, with its head a diameter of 1cm and length of 10 cm. In lizard years, this lizard is an adult equaled to 34 human years. The lizard doesn’t mind the little labor and had been a dedicated post lizard for the last fifteen years of his life. The letter weighs 0.5 grams and the lizard weighs 0.1 grams and by lizard standards, is middle class heavy. Please feed this lizard some grass before letting him make his way back to the lizard post central.
Please also note that any wear and tear of the said letter should not be blamed on the lizard. He’s just a lizard.
Oh, and we have no idea what lizards eat, so we hope he chokes on grass.
Ps: measurements are in centimeters and grams because the writer doesn’t grab the concept of ounces, feet or lbs. In fact, the writer has no clue what lbs. stands for.
“Okay wait; was that a typo or does the writer really hope that lizard chokes on grass?” AJ asked after reading the disclaimer.
“Well, if the writer isn’t lying and said this chapter is edited by the other writer, then I don’t see why that is a typo.” Brian said as he studied the letter. It should be let known that Brian was also responsible for detecting the ‘fishiness’ that was in their contract with Lou Pearlman.
“Gee, thanks for saying that.” Brian grinned.
Writer: No problem.
“So this writer hates lizards?” Nick asked.
“I think we’re missing the bigger picture here guys.” Kevin claimed.
“And what would that be?” Howie asked.
“We’re chosen to save the fanfiction world or it’ll cease to exist, along with us in it.” Kevin pointed out. “Did you guys not read the letter?”
“You told us to read the disclaimer.” Nick pointed out.
Kevin rolled his eyes. “Okay fine. So the letter said we are chosen to save fanfiction. It didn’t say from who or what, but yeah, we need to focus on that.”
“Be careful guys, these woods might be full of booby traps; it’s going to be one huge obstacle course to go through.” Brian warned.
“Did I hear someone mention boobies?” AJ perked up.
“I need to feed the lizard before sending him off to the lizard post central! Go ahead, I’ll catch up.” Nick said.
“Okay, make it quick Nicky.” Howie said. “We must stick together.”
As the rest of the Backstreet Boys made their way carefully into the dense woods, Nick plucked some grass and placed a blade near the lizard’s mouth but pulled it back when he remembered what the letter said.
“I’m not sure if you eat grass post lizard and I don’t want you to die. You’re 35 already, you should work hard and earn your pension and live comfortably in your old age before you die.” Nick said.
The post lizard, its eyes wide and staring back at Nick, just blinked once.
Nick looked around and smiled when he found a bush of berries.
“Okay, that sounds SO wrong in so many ways.” Nick giggled.
Writer: Oh get your head out of the gutter Nick!
Nick giggled some more and plucked a baby berry.
“Here post lizard, I’m sure it’s huge enough for you.” He placed the berry near the lizard and after waving him goodbye, ran back to join the guys.
Little did Nick know that the berries were poisonous. That was the end of the lizard’s life.
Meanwhile back in the woods…
The boys were almost huddled together, walking in unison, afraid that something would drop from the trees when they least expected it.
“Like that axe man.” Brian said, as always, interrupting the flow of the chapter. He shrugged, “I’m just saying.”
“Fine.” Brian harrumphed and moved along.
“That’s it guys, I’m tired of being afraid of something that we don’t even know what. For all we know, there’s nothing out-”
Out of nowhere, a deafening alarm started to go off and a billboard appeared before them with blinking lights and the words ‘Level 1’.
“Oh my God! What’s happening!” Nick cried.
Kevin smacked AJ upside the head. “Next time, just shut up AJ!”
“What did I do?” AJ exclaimed.
“Guys, guys, look!” Howie cried as he kept pointing towards something not far from them.
“What the…” Brian couldn’t finish his sentence. In the middle of the woods, there stood a boxing ring.
“With Mike freaking Tyson in it.” AJ said.
“Wait, so we’re expected to fight Mike Tyson?” Brian asked.
“What does Mike Tyson have to do with saving fanfiction?” Howie asked.
“That’s it, we are so dead.” Nick shook his head.
“Ya’ll are hopeless.” Kevin shook his head and before you knew it, he was down on one knee shouting, “POWER UP!”
By some unseen force; Kevin was pulled into mid air, as if he could fly. His body started to spin a few times and when he came back down, landed straight on his feet, he was adorned in nothing but silky black boxing shorts with boxing gloves on his hands.
“Oh my God, you’re like, Rocky, Kevin.” Nick said.
“I’ll be back in a minute. Let me kill this son of a-”
Nick started to rub his back and placed the mouthpiece he found out of nowhere, into Kevin’s mouth. He proceeded to pour water all over Kevin’s face, making him not only hot, but wet, oh so wet…
“Stay PG please.” Brian cut in.
Writer: You’re seriously a party pooper Brian.
“You can do this Kevin!” Nick encouraged, giving Kevin his not so much needed pep talk. “You’re going to eat lightning, and you’re going to crap thunder!”
“Is this the Backstreet Boys parody a movie chapter?” Howie asked.
Writer: Nope, try again next time.
After much talk, Kevin did another high jump and landed in the ring with Mike Tyson.
“Rocky doesn’t jump like that.” AJ noted. “This can’t be a movie chapter.”
“Guys, my cousin is about to get kicked by Mike Tyson, pay attention!”
Suddenly out of nowhere, there were buckets of popcorn, so the boys took one each and started munching on them.
“Go Kevin! It’s your birthday! We’re gonna party like it’s your birthday!” AJ sang.
“Go Kevin go Kevin Go!” Cheered Howie.
“Mmmmm…yummy.” Nick said in between munching.
Meanwhile, back in the ring, Kevin was doing moves that he never knew he could do. He was doing well until Tyson grabbed a hold of his head.
“Hey! No biting! Play nice!” Kevin warned.
“You’re no fun Kevin.” Tyson whined.
“Oh my God, you’re like Nick! Stop whining and play fair!”
“But I NEED to bite you! It’s my trademark!”
“Well you can go bite someone else because this ear is not going anywhere pal!” Kevin yelled.
“You know, you’re always SO strict Kevin, you’re beginning to sound like a dad!”
“Fine then. As a dad, I’m sending you off to your corner until you know how to play nice!”
“I have NEVER in my boxing career faced someone like YOU! I QUIT!” Tyson announced as he walked to his corner and sulked.
There was a loud TING TING TING sound and confetti started raining on him. “Oh my God, you guys, I won!”
A gnome dressed like a referee came into the ring and handed him an envelope. “Thank you little man.”
“Bite me.” The gnome said and left.
“What crawled up his ass?” Kevin wondered but was too happy to be mad. He started climbing down the boxing ring and looked for his friends.
“Will you two stop it? You’re just a few feet away and there’s NO ONE stopping you from getting to each other, God!” AJ complained.
“But it’s my favorite line in Rocky.” Nick shrugged.
“Except Rocky called on Adrian, who by the way, happens to be a woman and his LOVER.” Howie pointed out.
“Dude, I’m just saying whatever the writer wants me to say, I’m too tired to even argue with her anymore. Anyhoo, we got another letter.” Kevin said.
“Great! Read it cousin, I’m still confused by all this. We’ve yet to find out what genre this is.”
“Okay, here goes.”
YOU WON THIS ROUND AND HAVE GAINED ALL 1001 FANFIC GENRES POINTS!!
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE!
“We gained what?” AJ exclaimed.
“I almost got my ear bitten cause of fanfic genres? Nice.” Kevin rolled his eyes.
Writer: Or you could give up and just kill fanfiction along with yourselves.
“Yeah whatever. Let’s continue walking guys.” Kevin said.
“Wait Kev, you’re still in your boxing shorts.” Nick pointed out.
“Oh yeah. Hey, change me back!”
Writer: You look fine to me
“I’m sure I do you perverted person. But I’d like my clothes back please.”
Writer: *sigh* Fine.
Kevin found himself fully clothed once again and the boys went deeper into the woods…
“Isn’t it random how Mike Tyson just appeared in the woods?” Brian said out loud.
“We had a freaking post lizard in this chapter Brian; I think boxing with Mike Tyson is to be expected.” Howie laughed.
“I’m just glad it was you in the ring with him and not me Kev.” AJ said.
“He’s such a pussy.” Kevin groaned.
Out of nowhere a hairy yellow THING appeared in front of Kevin. “Ahhhhhhh!!”
“Man Kev, that’s the girliest scream EVER!” Howie said while shaking his head.
“What the heck is THAT!”
“Oh no, it’s the monster from Pac Man!” Nick cried.
“A WHAT!” Kevin cried.
“I’m going to EAT YOU!” The monster from Pac Man yelled.
“AHHHHHHHHHH!!” The boys screamed.
“GUYS GUYS!” Nick yelled, trying to make them stop. “It’s just the monster from Pac Man, chill!”
“It’s going to EAT US!” Howie cried. “How can you ask me to CHILL!”
“But I hold the record for Pac Man, I can do this!” Nick convinced them.
“Do what?” Kevin asked as he kept kicking at the hairy monster that was trying to climb up his leg.
“This!” Nick said, pointing at the maze in the middle of the woods.
“That wasn’t there earlier.” AJ said.
“And that’s supposed to surprise you?” Brian said, rolling is eyes.
“I’ll take one for the team this round!” Nick said as he turned around and around 3 times and found himself wearing a yellow body suit with a huge yellow smiling Pac Man head.
“Whoa there Nick.” Brian giggled.
“What a big head your have.” AJ laughed.
“So I can eat more cherries and win this game!” Nick said dramatically. “Come on hairy monster, catch me if you can!”
Nick went running into the maze and started eating the yellow cookies.
“Yo Nick! To your LEFT! LEFT FOR THE CHERRY!” Brian yelled from where he was standing.
“Oh no, there are 2 more hairy monsters out for him now!” Howie exclaimed.
“WATCH YOUR BACK NICK!” Kevin yelled. “NO, NOT LEFT, GO BACK! GO BACK! RETREAT!”
Nick was full from eating all those cookies but he had to win this challenge. The moment he saw a cherry, he went straight for it and ate that too.
“AHA! Now I can eat a hairy monster!” He turned back and found one that was backed into a corner. “You! You green haired monster, I can eat you! Mwahahahahaha!”
“No! Please, don’t kill me! I’m a good monster!”
“The heck you are! You were trying to kill me!”
“For the love of God, what the heck is he doing?” Kevin asked.
“He’s talking to the monster!” Brian said excitedly.
“This cherry thing won’t last long!” AJ warned.
“NICK, STOP TALKING TO YOUR FOOD! EAT HIM!” Kevin yelled.
“Wow, that friend of yours sure is mean.” The Green haired monster said.
“Shut up, he’s just looking out for me.” Nick defended Kevin.
“Ok well, don’t eat me please!”
“Fine. But only if you promise to get the heck out of here. Bring your gang of hairy friends too. Or I swear to God the next time I get a cherry, I’m going to roast you till crisp and then eat you hair by hair.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll tell them to get lost. Thanks Nick, here’s your next letter and bye!”
Nick watched as the five hairy monsters, Green, Yellow, Pink, Blue and Red, ran away from the maze and got lost in the wilderness. Smiling widely, he walked back to the guys and took off his huge yellow smiling head.
“Does this mean I’m headless?”
Writer: No silly. That’s just your mask.
“Oh. Just so you know, I’m okay with being headless and carrying my head.”
Writer: Aww I know hot stuff, but we live on your handsome face and it needs to be on your neck.
“That was one INTENSE match!” Brian declared. “You almost got chewed!”
“I can’t believe Kevin is all up on Tyson’s face but screamed like a girl at a small hairy monster.” AJ said.
“That happens to want to eat us, not just bite on our ears!” Kevin pointed out.
“You’re such a pussy Kevin.” AJ said.
“Shut up AJ.”
“Nick, just read the damn letter.” Howie said.
YOU HAVE WON THE 2ND CHALLENGE!
YOU GAINED BACK ALL 100001 FANFICTION PLOTS!
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE!
“Well, I guess we should keep on walking.” Kevin said.
“Yeah, I wonder whose next.” Nick said.
“Next for what?” AJ asked.
“Well, I think I see a pattern here. Kevin had a challenge, I got one, and so there must be a challenge each.”
“Do we know yet what genre this is?” Howie asked.
“It’s the stupid genre.” Howie said. “I’ve never seen or heard or read any fanfiction where we go into random boxing matches with Tyson or be a Pac Man. It’s ridiculous.”
“I just want this chapter to be over.” Brian said. “We should just keep on walking and keep our eyes open.”
“Yeah, maybe bring back some girls in this story. We’re lacking girls.” Nick said.
“Hey Nicky.” AJ called.
“You look so sessy in that yellow bodysuit.”
“Fuck off AJ.”
While they were busy arguing, an unseen force made them all run into an invisible wall and they bounced back and fell hard on the ground.
“Shit!” Kevin groaned.
“I think I need a hip replacement.” Howie declared.
“What just happened?” Nick asked.
“I think we hit a freaking invisible wall.” AJ said.
“What the heck is that?” Howie pointed out.
Writer: That’s an obstacle course. You have to take all those rings and avoid some creatures to get this invisible wall to disappear.
“And how do we do that if we can’t get through this wall genius.” Kevin said.
Writer: It takes a speed of lightning to go through this wall, nothing your old body can handle.
“Tyson feared me.”
Writer: Cause I had to pay him to do that, now shut up.
“I can do this one guys.” Brian voiced out. Everyone noticed how Brian’s hair was now in a Mohawk.
“Oh man, don’t tell me you’re sonic the hedghog!” Nick said.
“Who?” Howie asked.
“Man Howie, you need to like get a hooked up on video games crash course 101.” Nick said.
“Is this the video game chapter? This is not making much sense at all!” Kevin complained.
Writer: It’s not. Try again.
“Fine. Well, go ahead Brian, do your thing and try not to hurt yourself.” Kevin said, already bored.
Brian grinned. “Be back soon guys!” And off he went. ZOOM! The effect was so great that the boys found themselves rid of their clothes. Torn by the force of Brian’s lightning speed.
“Oh please, you just want us naked. Now give back our clothes!” Kevin rolled his eyes.
Writer: I should have let Tyson bite your ear off!
The boys were fully clothed and cheering Brian on.
“Very. Thanks.” Kevin smiled.
Brian ran through the wall and found a row of golden rings floating in the air. He smiled and ran along, jumped and hit a ring and it disappeared with a TING!
“Hehehee..this is fun!”
He jumped and hit another ring and did this until he reached the last ring before speeding off again. He saw a cave and –
Decided to walk in and see if there were any rings to jump on.
“I’m going in to see if there are any rings I can jump on!”
He found some and started doing the same thing, jump, ting, jump, ting, jump, ting, jump, ting.
“and I jump! TING! And I jump! TING! And I jump! TING!”
Writer: I swear Nick is rubbing off on you.
“Hey, can you get him here too? This will be so much fun with him!”
Writer: Aww sorry, Brian, I can’t. You know, he was supposed to do this stunt but I changed my mind.
Writer: Well, because we’ve been hurting him a lot in this story, remember he almost got his leg chopped?
“Oh yes, that was scary.”
Writer: Yeah see, I decided that it wouldn’t be realistic if I make him run at the speed of lightning with the kind of injuries he’s suffered in this story.
“Ah, the key word there is realistic.”
Writer: Are you mocking me?
“What? NO! Whatever gave you that idea?”
Writer: You ARE mocking me!
A villain came with his floating boat and hit Brian out of nowhere. Brian lost a lot of his rings that he needed to get through this challenge.
“You have 30 seconds to kill me or you’re out!” The Villain said.
“What do I do to kill you?”
“Just say the magic word which is dumbledeedumbledoo followed by pra pra pra pra pra pra pra and tapping your left foot 5 times and your right 3 times, which I’m not telling you, so ha!”
Brian scratched his head. “Dude, you already told me.”
“What!” The Villain cried. “Oh crap, I did, didn’t I?”
“Yup.” Brian grinned. “Dumbledeedumbledoo! Pra pra pra pra pra pra pra!” Brian finished it off with 5 taps of his left foot and 3 taps of his right.
And the Villain died.
The Villain evaporated into thin air and left an envelope behind. “Awesome!”
The invisible wall was gone and the guys cheered. It was getting way too boring just waiting for Brian to finish his task.
“Dude, what took you so long man?”
“Sorry. I had to kill a Villain.” Brian said as he flattened his Mohawk do.
“Wow, yours actually didn’t quit?” Nick asked.
“Yeah. But then, he’s also stupid.” Brian laughed.
“Okay chat time is over. Read the envelope.” Kevin, ever the anal one, ordered.
YOU HAVE WON THE 3RD CHALLENGE!
YOU GAINED BACK ALL 1000001 FANFICTION CLIFFIES!
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE!
“Did anyone figure out what genre this chapter is?” Kevin asked.
“Who cares? This is actually fun.” Nick laughed.
“This is like Nick’s fantasy chapter.” Brian giggled.
“If it’s not game characters, I wonder what genre this could be.” Howie wondered.
“It can’t be game characters, Kevin was Rocky.” AJ pointed out.
“Well, I think we can stop figuring that out for now, seems like there’s a guy with red hair waiting for either AJ or you Howie.” Brian said.
“And I think his hair is on fire.” Nick said.
"Okay, I don't play with fire; this one is not for me." Howie declared.
AJ laughed. "Don't worry about it D, I got this dickhead...BRING IT ON!"
Suddenly, AJ was no longer AJ. Well, he was still AJ, except that he was in some kind of a ninja outfit and it was blue. His hair was blue and it was...cold.
"I have no comment." Kevin said, shaking his head.
"Adios! Remember to reward me finely after I kick this red head's ass."
"Spoken like a true hero." Nick said sarcastically.
"I guess it's waiting time again." Howie said.
"I hate waiting. It's so boring." Brian agreed.
"Anybody have a deck of cards?" Howie asked.
"Nope, but I have Lego’s." Nick announced as he took out a box of Lego’s from his jacket. "2000 pieces should be enough."
While the boys were playing Lego’s, AJ confronted his match...
"Don't talk, let’s just fight." AJ said and started to do some series of air kicks and hand maneuvers and occasionally going HHHIIIYYYAAA!!
"It's too hot to fight. My hair is burning too much." The red ninja said as he stood his ground, watching AJ makes more stupid ninja steps.
"Dude you sound like Howie, come on, FIGHT ME!" AJ said.
"Hey, wanna see my medallion?"
"Your what?!" AJ yelled. "I don't care about your medallion, FIGHT!"
"You can say its diamond and I won't give a fart." AJ said.
"It's also one of a kind."
"Yeah? I can give you my one of a kind neck snap if you want."
"With those maneuvers? Dude do you even know what you're doing?"
"Shut up ninja boy and fight!" AJ challenged.
"It has skulls on it."
AJ stopped mid way, one leg up in the air and body bent sideways. "A skull you say?"
"Skulls, as in 3 of them." Red Ninja said.
"Now we're talking." AJ said as he stood up and went nearer. "Is this a trick?"
"No it's not."
"That thing won't blind me with some huge light and kill me right?"
"Heck no, that's so predictable." Red Ninja said.
AJ seemed to be thinking it over before nodding his head. "True, true...nothing in this story is ever predictable."
"Exactly." Red Ninja said. "Look, truth is, I just got my hair done and my gas filled up so it'll go fiery on me. I seriously don't want to mess it up from fighting you."
AJ nodded. "You're right. But I have to kill you in order to get an envelope which will let me and my friends go on to the next level."
"Oh, you mean this?" Red Ninja took out a yellow envelope from his Ninja suit.
"Yes, that one!" AJ exclaimed.
"Then why didn't you say so? You can have it." Red Ninja said as he passed the envelope over to AJ. "All you have to do is ask, no point in killing over an envelope right?"
AJ smiled. "Right." But inside, AJ thought this was the silliest chapter he had ever come across. "Hey I didn't say that, you wrote that."
Writer: I know. Now shoo! Go tell your friends to read the damn letter, we're running out of time!
AJ, sensing the urgency in the writer's voice, now waved the Red Ninja goodbye and went back to the guys, who had, the whole time, managed to make a huge bone from the Lego set. Complete with red Lego blocks to make a bow in the middle too.
"Hey!" Nick said excitedly. "Look what we got you for your victory!"
"A bone?" AJ said.
"Yeah, like BONE, your nickname, geddit? geddit?" Nick giggled.
"Er...yeah, I got it. Thanks guys!"
"It was Kevin's idea." Brian said.
"It was not! It's so lame!" Kevin protested.
Writer: I’ll damn write what I want to, Kevin!
"Aww that's nice Kev. Now we have a letter to read!"
YOU HAVE WON THE 4th CHALLENGE!
YOU GAIN BACK ALL 10000001 FANFICTION WRITER'S BLOCKS
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE!
"Jeez, I don' think writers like that." Kevin said. "I can't believe we just brought that back."
"I can't believe I didn't even have to kill that red head." AJ said.
"I can't believe we're even having this conversation." Brian said. "Come on, let’s go. Howie needs to find his challenge now or so help me God if I start yelling to get me out of this place!"
Before they could even walk any further, zombies started to come out from their hiding behind trees and bushes and had surrounded them in seconds.
"Oh my God, we're gonna DIE!" Nick cried. "I'm gonna freaking die in this ugly yellow bodysuit!"
"Man they stink like Nick!" AJ said.
"I do not stink AJ, shut the hell up!!"
"D, you gotta do something, this is YOUR challenge!" Brian panicked.
"Yeah D, anytime now would be greatly appreciated!" Kevin added.
Howie nodded in determination. "Okay, stay put, I’ll handle this."
In an instant, Howie was holding a gun in each hand and was aiming at random zombies and shooting at them. Howie also had a long ponytail and -
"HAHAHHAHAHAHAH!" AJ laughed.
"Howie's...a....he's...Lara...Croft!" Nick gasped from too much laughing.
"Aww, you're so sessy D!" Brian mocked, batting his eyelashes in a girly way.
"Hey, take it back! I don’t have a ponytail!" Howie said.
Writer: Not now you don’t, but you used to have one, although not as long as Ms. Lara, a ponytail still.
"Howie forget about that, SHOOT NOW!" Kevin reminded him as more zombies made their way towards them.
BANG! BANG! BANG! Howie went bullet crazy, leaping from one tree to another, killing at least 2 zombies at once.
"TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT!" Howie yelled as he planted a bullet into the zombies' heads and it burst into nothingness. It went on this way until one of the zombies said,
"I bet you can't kill me because I have the envelope and it'll disintegrate along with me if you do."
Howie sighed. He was seriously tired. "Then give the envelope to me."
"Okay." The zombie gave the envelope to Howie.
"So now I can kill you."
The zombie nodded. "Sure you can."
"Thanks!" Howie pulled the trigger.
A loud alarm went off and a billboard announced that Howie had won. The remaining Zombies started to straighten their backs and made their way back to where they came from.
"Yes! We've finished all the challenges!" Howie said excitedly.
"Hurry hurry, open up the letter D!" Brian encouraged.
"Okay, okay, here goes!"
YOU HAVE WON ALL 5 CHALLENGES
YOU GAIN BACK EVERYTHING THAT IS FANFICTION
INCLUDING YOURSELVES! NOW PROCEED TO THE DOOR THAT WILL
TAKE YOU TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!
"Door, what door?" Kevin asked looking around, not finding a door.
"Never mind a door, what the heck is this chapter all about?" Brian demanded.
Writer: It's the superhero chapter slow brain.
"You call being a Pac Man a superhero?" Nick complained.
Writer: Pac Man is so underrated and overlooked. Before there was Nintendo, there was Pac Man, he's like, The Legend! He was the superhero to a lot of kids! If it wasn't for him, kids would be bored with nothing to do on a rainy day!
"What about Rocky? He's not a superhero!" Kevin demanded.
Writer: He was a hero in that movie wasn't he?
"But he's not super. He doesn't have a super power!"
Writer: Gah I know! I don't really like that movie! But they made Rocky into a video game and he had super strength in it, he can keep on kicking without getting tired. He's a superhero!
"So I'm guessing Sonic the Hedgehog is a superhero too?" Brian asked.
Writer: It's SUPERsonic the hedgehog Brian. Plus, I think, on his good days, he could give superman a run for this money.
"And I guess ninjas could be superheroes." AJ said.
Writer: Well duh. That’s how ninja turtles came about. And we all know Ninja turtles were everyone's favorite hero once.
"I have no comment about Lara Croft." Howie pouted; still mad he had to play a female character.
Writer: Fine then! Now that I've explained myself, go find that door.
"It's not here." Nick said as he looked around. "Did you forget to draw it?"
Writer: Oh, I forgot to tell you guys that the door is right under your feet.
Howie gasped. "Under waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
Writer: No lizards were harmed before, during and after writing of this chapter, thank you.
I'll be back with the Angst chapter next Saturday lol
This is the end…my friend…well almost anyway!
Time for a little bit of Angst
They walked through the door, happy to be out of the Superhero chapter once and for all.
“Hey speak for yourself! I loved that chapter, it rocked!” Nick said stopping short and looking upwards with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Yeah, actually out of everything we have been through that was the most fun I think.” Brian agreed with his friend who suddenly felt inclined to give each other a high five.
“So where are we exactly? Looks kind of like a tunnel, wait let me guess…it leads into a cave doesn’t it?” Howie shook his head thinking he was right when he was really oh so wrong, but of course he should be used to that by now.
“Okay so, if this isn’t a tunnel that leads to a cave where does it lead to, a forest?”
“Hey Rok maybe this is your little gnome families home. Gnomes live in tunnels don’t they?”
“Enough with the gnome thing! That was two or three chapters ago! Good Lord AJ let it die already!”
“You know what’s weird? I said that all on my own. The writer didn’t make me say that this time.” AJ responded curiously.
“WHAT! So that means you insulted me without her doing?”
“Okay well you suck then! Wow you’re right…I was thinking that and I said it. What’s going on?”
Now Nick decided to get in on the fun, he walked over to Kevin and stepped on his foot really hard!
“OUCH!! Why the HELL did you just do that?”
“Ask me why I like giraffes!”
“Nick, what the hell are you on?”
“Just do it Kev…come on…ask me why I like giraffes.”
“Okay fine, Nick why do you like giraffes?”
Nick stood there keeping his mouth closed; just waiting for the words to spill out, but nothing came except silence. Finally he looked over at Kevin and said, “Because they’re quiet, calm and shy and have knobby knees.”
All four boys stared at Nick as if he had fourteen heads, not sure of where this whole giraffe thing was going exactly. “I just made that up off the top of my head! The writer didn’t have anything to do with it! Oh my God you guys, I think we lost them all!”
“Why the hell did you stomp on my foot?” Kevin asked walking over to Nick as if he was about to slap him.
“Oh…I was just testing to see if I would be able to I guess. Sorry, I mean if that one writer who’s obsessed with you was writing this one she would have never let me do it.”
“That’s bull and you know it, you just wanted to step on me!”
“Now Kevin why on earth would I want to do that?”
“Because…you are a bonehead!”
“I am not! Take that back!”
“I will not take that back at all not until you say you’re sorry for stepping on my foot.”
“Jesus why are you being such a damn baby? If roles were reversed you’d be yelling at me and telling me I was over exaggerating! Why is it when you do it, its okay?”
“Guys! Quit the fighting, you might make her come back.” Brian whispered as he covered both of his friend’s mouths.
Writer: I’ve been here this entire time.
All five boys looked up at the roof of the tunnel, “You have?” Brian asked confused.
Writer: *sighs* Yes I have.
“I’m confused, how come you are letting us say whatever we want then? Is this some kind of trick or something? We are going to explode aren’t we?”
Writer: No AJ, you are not going to explode. Truth is, this story is just about done and I’m kind of sad about it. *sigh*
“It is?” Howie asked a little too happy.
Writer: Yup, actually this is the second to last chapter. There’s only one more and then we are all done. I hate saying goodbye to one of my stories.
“Don’t be sad, I mean all good things come to an end right?”
Writer: Thanks Howie, I appreciate that especially after we were so cruel to you during this entire story.
“Yeah you kind of were, but I didn’t say I was sad this is coming to an end did I?”
“I hate to break this up and all but where are we supposed to go exactly?” Kevin asked looking at his watch and growing ever impatient that they were being held up.
Writer: All you have to do is travel all the way down to the end of the tunnel and then go through the door and you will be out.
“Really? That’s all there is to it…really?”
“No offense or anything but that kind of seems anticlimactic. I was expecting some kind of big finish, maybe fighting off sharks or being chased by wild boars or something. Walking through a door seems a bit boring.”
“Wild boars? Nick when will you ever learn to shut the hell up! If I get chased by a wild boar because of you I am going to kick your ass!” Kevin scolded.
“Aww look, maybe you’ll feel better when this ends? I mean this has to take up some of your time right? I would hope you have more to do in your life than sit there at your computer and write about us…at least I hope so.” AJ said trying his best to console the writer but failing miserably.
“Well gee, I’m sorry. I was only trying to help.”
Writer: That’s okay, really I’ll be fine.
“Are you sure…um…writer person?” Nick asked tilting his head as if he was a confused puppy.
Writer: I’m not sure why we felt the need to be so secretive with our names, it’s not like you’d have any idea who we were anyway. My name’s Mare. Do you have any idea who I am?
“Um…no? But I’m sure you’re a very nice person.” Howie said quickly when he heard the writer sigh once more.
“So, you are which one then? The writer or the other writer or the other other writer?” Kevin asked while once again looking at his watch, not understanding why anyone would care about a writer or HER feelings I mean after all she is just a writer!
“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t care, it’s just that I’d kind of like to get out of here and get back to my life. I mean my wife must be wondering where the heck I’ve been.”
“Are you the one obsessed with Kevin?” Nick asked giving Kevin a stern look.
“She sounds like she’s obsessed with you Nicky.” Howie answered giving him a wink.
Writer: I am not obsessed with anyone thank you! But no, I’m not obsessed with Kevin, that’s Marina the one who takes fifteen years to update.
“Oh. Marina, I like that name. It’s very nice.”
Writer: I’ll be sure to tell her that Kevin.
“Why didn’t she run right in here and that other girl as well?” Brian asked now curious as to know more about the people who have been writing about them this whole time.
“Yes, which one is she?”
Writer: She’s the one who has a fear of lizards.
“Oh, where are they?”
Writer: I’m hiding you in this tunnel; they don’t know we’re here.
“Why?” AJ asked now taking a seat on the ground and lighting up a cigarette.
“Must you smoke in here? I mean there are no windows or anything.”
“Kevin, when a man has to smoke, a man has to smoke…anyway, why are we hiding?”
Writer: Because I was hoping that if I hid this chapter we could keep the story going on and on forever.
“Wow! That’s intense, oooh you are the intense one huh? The one who always nags and edits and all that stuff?”
“Oooh I get it now! The 3 M’s all of your names start with an M! Mare, Marina and Mersey! Ha ha ha cool!” Everyone looked over at Nick as he made that brilliant deduction and shook their heads as they once again focused their attention on the poor, sad writer.
Writer: Well, you better get going; I know Kevin wants this to be over with. It’s been fun guys…*sigh* really a lot of fun.
“Yeah a blast, okay guys let’s get going!” Kevin said as if he was a man on a mission. That mission was to get out of the tunnel and back to his life.
They all waved to the writer and made their way down the tunnel, but stopped when they heard the sad writer crying as they went away.
“Aww, we aren’t really going to just leave her here are we?” Howie asked, looking back towards the sound of crying.
“Howie, we should get out of here, we don’t know if she is going to change her mind. This could just be a trick to keep us in here longer until her crazy friends show up. I know I’m not willing to find out!”
“Kevin have a heart, do you hear her? She is crying her eyes out. We can’t leave her here.” Nick, the sweetest guy in the universe said as he joined Howie and started walking back towards the writer.
“I know you are sad and all, but I was the one that suggested we don’t leave first. Why is Nick the sweetest guy in the universe?” Howie, the second sweetest guy in the universe asked.
“Okay I guess I’ll take that.”
“Wait! Guys this is the same person who almost chopped your leg off Nick! And she has done so many horrible things to you Howie. She barely lets you talk Brian, AJ one word for you…chinchilla and me? Well she let an angry duck bite my ass!”
“It always comes down to the angry duck doesn’t it?” Brian said shaking his head.
“Well, it hurt!”
“I agree with Kevin, let’s blow this taco stand! If I had realized this was the chinchilla chick I may have kicked her in the shin.
“Wait!” Everyone turned to Nick who was just standing there with his arms to his side, suddenly looking very sad himself, “Maybe we shouldn’t leave, I mean it’s been kind of fun hanging out with you guys. I haven’t had to worry about things you know?”
“Nick, we have had to run for our lives in almost every single chapter!”
“I know AJ, but still…”
“But STILL? But still what?”
“It’s better than going back to real life and seeing my name in the tabloids and hearing people discuss my family and how messed up everything is. I kind of like being fictional because, real life sucks.” Nick sat down with his back against the tunnel’s cold wall. The other boys looked at each other before approaching but when they did it was Brian who took a seat next to his friend.
“Nick,” He paused for a second and wrapped his arm around his little brother, “Don’t worry about all of that stuff because in the end that is more drama than being in some stupid story you know? All that matters is what’s inside of you kiddo, not anything some stupid magazine or some stupid fans say about you.”
“But here at least we’re safe. I mean so far we have had to deal with some stupid stuff but nothing life threatening and in the end we are always fine and together.”
“Nick…” Now it was Kevin who moved towards the young blonde and squatted next to him, “We will still all be together out there as well.”
“But…you guys have your families and your lives and I have…”
“Nick you have a life too kiddo.” Howie said joining in now.
“I know but…”
“Hello? Voice of reason here…you see what she’s doing? She’s making Nick all depressed so we will stall and talk to him instead of walk on to the end of this damn story.”
Brian looked up at him with contempt in his eyes, “Come on AJ, you know as well as I do that Nick really feels those things.”
“No, AJ’s probably right…” Nick said wiping away a tear as he stood up, “She is making me say those things.”
“See?” AJ stood with his arms crossed in front of him with a smug look on his face.
Mersey: There you are! We were looking all over for you! What on earth are you doing in this tunnel?
“Damn! We are too late!” Kevin shook his head and kicked the wall, which hurt…almost as much as being bit in the ass by the duck.
“Very nice.” He replied while biting on his bottom lip to refrain from saying anything nastier to the writer.
Mare: I put them here so I can buy myself time.
Mersey: Mare Mare Mare *shakes head* how many times are we going to go through this with you?
Mare: Sorry, I get attached.
Marina: See? I TOLD you that they would be in a tunnel didn’t I? Well didn’t I?
Mersey: *rolls eyes* yes Marina you did.
Marina: I said when in doubt check for a tunnel.
Mersey: Yes you did.
Mare: I just didn’t want to let this story go you know? I mean we have worked so hard on it.
Marina: Well we wouldn’t be letting it go if you weren’t so persistent with deadlines. If we left people hanging for more than a week at a time we’d be going long into the next year with this one.
Mare: Yeah I know but still…
“Hey guys…” Brian whispered to the other four boys as the writers were pre occupied, “Maybe we should make a run for it while they aren’t paying attention to us.”
All the boys looked at each other and started tip toeing down the tunnel and closer to the ending of the story as the three writers continued to talk in the background.
Mersey: You know I get sad when I finish a story too, it’s a little depressing, I mean you get so into your characters you just don’t want them to go away.
Mare: Yes exactly.
Marina: Aww girls…group hug.
Mare: Wait! Where are the boys?
“Uh oh, better run guys I think we have been discovered missing.” Kevin said grabbing Nick by the collar and scooting him along as the boys headed for the light at the end of the tunnel.
“Wow I always thought that was just a corny expression…” Howie said stopping and staring at the bright light coming from just up ahead.
“Yeah or just an over done description in stories.” AJ added as the light got brighter and brighter.
Mare: There they are…guys wait up!
“Crap! Let’s get out of here!” Brian said when he suddenly stopped short of falling into a pit.
Marina: Yes, a pit in the middle of a tunnel?
Mare: So sue me, it’s the first thing that came to my head!
“So what is it you want from us? You said this story is coming to an end, can’t you just let us leave already?” Kevin asked protectively shielding his brothers from the pit and the writers.
Marina: That is so sexy when you do that Kevin.
Mersey: You know maybe we can each take three more chapters or something, I mean there is still…*pulls out list of genres*….The boys as animals.
Mare: Kind of covered in the Fairy tale Chapter.
Mersey: Right, yes of course…well there’s the psychological thriller chapter.
“Hey that sounds like a good one.”
“Nick shut the hell up!” AJ said slapping Nick on the back of the head.
Mersey: Then there are vampires, mystery, and of course we could always throw in a good old M preg one.
“Do I even want to know what that is?” Kevin asked leaning into Nick.
Mare: Probably not.
“I thought you said you guys were done…I mean…I have a baby to get home to and I miss him a lot you know? I could be missing out on things he’s doing, things I’ll never get a chance to experience as a first.” Brian let out the saddest sigh ever and Nick gripped him in a huge hug.
“Brian, its okay…they won’t keep us here for much longer, right ladies?” AJ asked the writers who were all looking at each other unsure of what to do next.
Mare: Fine…you guys win. You can go for real this time. Sorry about all that, so be on your way through the door where your final chapter awaits.
Mersey: And who is writing that exactly?
Marina: Well it is my turn. I usually go after Mare.
“AHHH then we’ll never get home!” Brian cried.
Marina: Excuse me?
Mare: He does have a point.
Mersey: I kind of have a great idea for an ending but I don’t want to tell anyone. You guys will love it though.
“Does it involve anymore Post Lizards or talking pigs?” AJ asked hesitantly.
Marina: Well I have a good idea for an ending too, it involves Kevin and spandex…lot’s of spandex!
“Hey! I’m a married man!”
Marina: Not if I write an alternate universe chapter!
Mare: I have a great idea for an ending too!
“Let me guess, it will involve poultry in one form or another!”
Mare: No…well okay maybe.
“Guys look! It’s the end of the tunnel.” Howie said pointing to the light that was almost blinding in its brilliance.
“Wait a minute, we were just blocked by a pit, how did we end up here?” Kevin asked looking at all three writers.
“I walked around it and you all kind of just followed me.” Howie said shrugging.
Mare: Okay…well that works for me I guess.
“I never thought the light at the end of the tunnel would actually be a neon light, that’s kind of disappointing.” Nick said, sounding confused by the whole thing.
“And I also didn’t think it would be blinking with the letters CYOA” Howie added as the lights blinked in front of them all.
“Hey guys…what does CYOA mean exactly?” Brian asked pointing to the blinking sign which was above three separate doors one with each of the writer’s names on them.
“Excellent!” Everyone glanced over at Nick.
“Because Kevin, that means bring your own booze!”
“Nick you dumbass that’s BYOB this is CYOA, good God is it possible for someone to get stupider as a story goes on? You only got one damn letter right!”
“Okay well you don’t have to be so hurtful!”
“I’m sorry Nick; it’s just been a very long story. I just want to go home. So what do we do? Why are there three doors?”
“Oh look at this one, there’s writing on it,” AJ said as he moved closer to the door marked Marina, “it says pick me! If you go through this door you will be on the other side…duh!”
The boys all looked at each other more confused then when they first saw that pink car at the beginning of their journey.
“What does that one say Howie?” Brian asked as D walked closer to the door marked Mersey.
“It says pick me! If you go through this door you’ll never know what’s on the other side because I’m spontaneous like that.”
“And what about that one Nicky? What does that one say?”
Nick walked closer to the door marked Mare, “You better pick me! You have no choice go through this damn door or else…Wow you really are a control freak aren’t you?” Nick asked the writer who shrugged innocently in return.
“So CYOA means?” Kevin asked still unclear.
Mare: Choose your own adventure. Each one of those doors will bring you to three different endings. Pick carefully, you only have one shot. Good luck and for the record, I’ll miss you guys!
“Do we all have to go out the same one?” AJ asked eyeing each door up and down carefully looking for hidden messages and clues.
“Okay well ladies; see ya on the other side!” Kevin said opening the door and walking through, followed by the rest of the guys with Nick the last one to go.
Mare: Hey Nick!
Mare: How come you lied to the boys before? You said I made you say those things. You know I didn’t.
“Because…sometimes it’s better that way.” He smiled at the writer and waved goodbye as he stepped through the door into the final chapter.
Well guys since the last chapter(s) will be a choose your own adventure, you won't have an update on this one for a few weeks since all three of us have to be done before I post the last chapter. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. We'll be back in a few weeks with the end.
door number one ~ Marina's ending by Mare
Just When You Thought The End Was Near
~Marina's Ending...kind of ...sort of ~
"Why are we going this way Kevin?" AJ almost stumbled, still a little blind due to all the bright lights that had welcomed them at the other side of the door. He had been about to enter Mare's door when Kevin opened this one.
"Because as dumb as the 'duh' joke sounds I'm trusting it. If at the other side of this is the end, then I'm taking this way."
"Wasn't the end at the other side of every door?"
"Okay, it's the one I was closest to." Kevin growled.
The others shrugged and followed him when suddenly everything went dark.
"What's with you and dark places?" Kevin asked just when a pale light filled the room and allowed them to know where they were.
"Much better, thank you."
"Wow, are we where I think we are?" Brian asked approaching five stools in what looked like a small stage complete with a piano.
"Yes, it looks exactly like the scenery from 'A Night Out'. I remember this carpet. It was my bright idea to put it here." Nick smiled taking a seat next to the piano.
"So we are going to sing something for an ending?" AJ took a seat too.
"Great." Howie smiled looking around for some white roses.
"Howie is thinking about showing his chest" Nick snickered.
"Shut up, Nick. I'm not."
"Where are the fans?" Brian asked remembering some of his favorite old songs. "AJ what do you say about singing 'Like a Child'?"
Writer: Guys, sorry to ruin your plans but this isn't what you think.
"What you mean?"
Writer: I just wanted you to be comfortable and this place came to my head. Seems like a great place to wait.
"Wait for what?" five annoyed voices asked at the same time.
A deep voice began to give them the answer:
"NO!!!!!!!" Kevin yelled. "You can't do that."
Writer: Why not?
"Because this is a story, not a TV show."
Writer: Excuse me. Since when are you a fan fiction expert?
"You don't need to be an expert to know that you can't do this."
Writer: Watch me.
TO BE CO...
"Who's voice is that? It sounds familiar."
Writer: I hired a professional TV announcer. I think he has worked for a couple of awards shows.
"Nice. I knew I have heard him before."
Writer: Yes, he is awesome. Now let the man do his job.
TO BE CON...
"Do you want to make me deaf? Stop screaming like a girl Kevin"
"What do the other writers think about this? I'm sure they don't want it either." Brian still had hope that they would be out of this story soon.
Writer: Well they aren't happy, of course, especially Mare since she is all anal, like someone here who I'm not naming, but then, she understood because she rocks. And I haven't talked to Mersey in the last couple of days but I'm sure she will understand, not only because rocks but because she has been really busy too.
"But I bet she finished her chapter on time."
Writer: Well you should have chosen her door then Kevin. Now be a good boy and take a seat till I have time to finish this story.
"Great! Now our fans will have to wait another five years for a new album and this time it won't be our fault." Kevin spat out.
Writer: Haha, very funny.... not! Mmmhh. Although, now that you mention it...
A beautiful Christmas tree appeared behind them.
"What's that for?"
Writer: In case I'm not back before Christmas 'Happy Holidays, guys!'
And before anyone else had a chance to say something, Randy, the cool TV announcer did his job just in time to go and try to find a job at the Oscars or the Emmys or anything that would look better on his resume.
TO BE CONTINUED
Get ready to enter door number two next....
door number two ~ Mersey's ending by Mare
DOOR NO. 2: IS NOT DOOR NO. 1 OR DOOR NO.3
~ Mersey’s ending~
“Everyone, please welcome, the BACKSTREET BOYS!”
Howie slammed into Nick’s back and almost toppled over when Nick had suddenly stopped in his tracks.
“Ouch! Nick, why did you stop?”
“Because…we’re in a talk show?” Nick said.
“A what?” Brian exclaimed.
“Why do you always go ‘what’ when you know you heard it the first time round?” Kevin asked.
“It’s for dramatic purpose Kevin. Like, WHAT?!” Brian said, this time making a shocked Jim Carey face.
“I’m sure that helps a lot.” Howie winked sarcastically.
A random guy tapped Nick on the shoulder and said, “Guys, that’s your cue to come out!”
Nick looked around; trying to see the crowd but it was too dark. “Um, out there?”
“Yes out there. Please don’t mess up; Mersey will fire me for sure.”
“Why does that name sound so familiar?” AJ wondered right behind Nick.
“I think it’s one of the writers.” Kevin said.
Meanwhile, Mersey, obviously agitated, announced again, “Everyone, please, ONCE AGAIN, welcome the Backstreet Boys!”
Random guy was shaking in fear. “Please guys, just go out there before I get into trouble!”
“Okay fine!” Nick grumbled. “I thought we’re finally going home.”
“Home? In this story? What bullocks!” AJ said.
“You’re going English on me AJ, don’t go English on me!”
“Okay sorry, can’t help it.”
The crowd cheered and Mersey showed them to their seats.
“This reminds me of the set of Oprah.” AJ said.
“It does, doesn’t it?” Mersey admired the studio. “I was on Oprah once too you know, at Brain Candy Fanficfun.” Mersey said before turning towards a camera, smiling, and saying, “That’s triple W, dot groups’ dot yahoo dot com slash group slash brain candy underscore fanficfun for you out there.” Making sure to add in a wink and a thousand watt smile, she turned back to the guys. “It was fun to rule for once. And I got a Tiara to wear for an entire month!”
“Brain what?” Brian asked.
“Tasty.” Nick chipped in.
“That I am.” Mersey winked flirtatiously at Nick, who immediately stopped his candy cravings.
“Right okay boys, enough chit chat, we’re here because we’ve finally come to the end of this story, so this is like a discussion, like Oprah’s book club.” Mersey explained.
“Interesting…now what do we have to go through in this book club?” Kevin asked, feigning interest.
“Discuss, Kevin.” Mersey said, obviously holding herself back from strangling the hot one. “That’s what we do in book clubs.”
“Man Kev, that’s really a blonde question.” AJ said.
“And it’s funny cause Kevin’s not blonde.” Nick said.
“Wow, now I get it.” Howie rolled his eyes.
“Okay so, where do we start?” Brian asked. “I’d like for this to finish as fast as possible. I want to get back home to my family.”
“Yes Brian, I know you’re the only one here who has a family to go back home to, so let’s move on.” Mersey smiled. “Now, as a whole, what is your opinion on this story?”
“I think it sucks.” Kevin said immediately.
Mersey nodded. “How very…insightful.”
“Well, I don’t think one needs to have a brain to go through this story honestly.” Kevin defended himself.
All of a sudden, Kevin was pelted with rotten tomatoe and a series of BOOs! From the dark crowd.
“Oww! What’s that for?” Kevin grumbled as everyone distanced themselves from Kevin.
“Well you must realize that you’ve just insulted not only us writers but also everyone who has read this story.” Mersey said.
“Okay I’m sorry. I didn’t mean the readers, I meant the writers.” Kevin said. “You don’t need to have a brain to write a story that sucks.”
“I think it’s brilliant.” Nick countered. “I mean, sure we had to go through the axe murderer and the killer clown-”
“Not to mention having Justin.” AJ added.
“And howl crawlers.” Brian chipped in.
“And almost getting a limb chopped off.” Howie chimed in.
“And almost making us make out, you remember that Nick before you start saying this story is ‘brilliant’.” Kevin said.
Nick nodded. “Yeah okay, so the slash chapter was a little weird-”
“I wrote that chapter by the way.” Mersey cut in.
“Did I mention lovely as well?” Nick said. “A little weird but LOVELY overall. I mean, if I were gay, I’d SO do Kevin first.”
“Wait, Mare wrote slash, not me.” Mersey grinned.
“Oh well, in that case, then I’d like to-”
“BUT it’s still very nice of you to say that Nick.”
“I can’t believe you said that Nick.” Brian laughed.
“Hey can you write a sequel to that one? We SO want to see Nick SO do Kevin.” AJ laughed.
“You guys need to stop interrupting him, besides; the sequel had its chapter already. Go on Nick, you were about to praise this awesome story.”
“Well yeah…I mean, it takes a genius to constantly come up with all these funny things every single chapter.” Nick smiled.
“You just made him say that, didn’t you?” Kevin accused one third of the geniuses who wrote this story.
“No, and it takes 3 geniuses to write this story Nick, but obviously you think I’m the only genius, so thank you!”
Nick’s eyes grew wide. “But I-”
“But I’d like to call out our first guest of the evening. Random guy, bring him out!”
The audience applauded and out came random guy holding a very snappy duck in his arms.
“Kevin, why are you so stiff?” Howie, who was sitting next to Kevin, asked.
“You can put him next to Kevin, thanks random guy.”
The duck stared at Kevin and didn’t move a feather. Kevin just looked ahead, refusing to meet its glare. This made the writer of this chapter very happy.
Mersey rubbed her palms together and smiled happily. “Well guys, are you ready for the next guest to come out?”
“Depends, does this guest hate us?” AJ asked.
“Well…I can’t really remember.”
“You can’t remember?” Brian gasped. “What if it’s the axe murderer? We’re going to die before we end this story!”
“You need ginko biloba. It helps, A LOT, trust me.” Howie winked.
“Thanks Howie, but I can’t help but forget because well, I didn’t write the chapter this guest appeared on.”
“Can you please just bring this guest out?” Kevin said with gritted teeth when the duck snapped, almost biting his neck. Kevin was forced not to say another word.
“Okay then, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my next guest, Lord Nohajevian!”
Lord Nohajevian came out with his trademark black outfit complete with that mask and his breathy accent.
“Please, take a seat anywhere you like.”
Lord Nohajevian almost sat next to Kevin but saw the duck and decided to sit next to Brian instead.
“Now, you’re a very interesting character, aren’t you Lord Nohajevian?”
Somewhere out in the audience, someone shouted. “I WROTE HIM! HE WAS IN MY CHAPTER!”
“Maria, get out of my chapter and WRITE!” Mersey said before looking at the camera. “I want that cut out from the final tape okay?”
Meanwhile, Brian was bonding with Lord Nohajevian…
“So you’re really not Darth Vader?” Brian asked.
Lord Nohajevian sighed. “No, for the last time, I’m NOT him.”
“You’re not Dader Varth either right?” Nick asked.
“Who the heck is that?” Lord Nohajevian asked.
“His cousin, I think.” AJ answered for Nick.
“Yeah, like Kevin and I. We’re cousins.” Brian grinned.
“Oh, is the duck a second cousin?” Lord Nahojevian asked Kevin. “He has your eyebrows.”
“And his personality.” Nick joked.
“No, the duck and I are NOT related whatsoever.” Kevin grimed.
“Really? Coulda fooled me.” Lord Nahojevian said.
“Just like you and Darth Vader I guess.” AJ said.
“Ugh, please, I have no relations whatsoever with that person.”
“While we’re still on topic Lord whatever, can I just say it’s been a pain to type your name every single time!” Mersey complained. “I don’t know what possessed Maria to make up such a name! I keep typing it wrong.”
“Aww, you can call me Jevvy for short.”
“Are you serious?” AJ laughed. “That’s so…”
“FUNNY!” Howie laughed.
“Yes it is, and you might want to not bring that up if you want to go home by this chapter.” Lord Jevvy said.
Everyone went silent. Kevin smirked but went back to his straight face when the duck snapped at him again.
“Well, Howie, what do you think of your adventure in finding a plot so far?”
Howie, finally glad that he was asked a question, answered. “Well, to be honest with you Mersey, I have to say that you girls are biased. You always bully me the most and I’m constantly made fun of and if not, forgotten.”
“AJ, what do you think of the Crossover chapter? I personally thought it was the best of the lot.”
“Um Hello? Did you not listen to what I just said?” Howie asked as he waved his arms wildly to get the writer’s attention.
“Howie please, AJ is about to say something.”
Howie rolled his eyes and sank deeper into the couch. “Happens, ALL the time!”
“I thought it was funny too! I mean, when I started to talk to…who was it, Jason? The killer guy? Yeah, that was deep.” AJ said.
“Aww yes, Mare did very well to reveal another side of that evil person. Deep down inside, he actually seems kinda nice, doesn’t he?”
AJ nodded, wondering what had happened to Jason, whom he considered his friend. “I’m still unsure if his name is Jason though. I think that’s it.”
“Yeah well, Mare wrote that one and you didn’t go through Mare’s door so you can’t ask her so I guess you’ll never find out. That’s what happens in a choose your own adventure story.”
“But you’re one of the writers. How can you not know?” Kevin smirked. The duck climbed up and settled on his lap. “Oh great.”
“I can’t remember EVERYTHING Kevin, how many times do I have to say that?” Mersey the awesome-est writer said.
“Gee I don’t know, until you remember?” Kevin spat. The duck quacked at him ferociously and bit his finger. “OUCH!”
“See Howie, I’m mean to Kevin in this chapter, not you.”
“I can see that. Thanks Mersey, perhaps you can let me sing in this chapter? Mare never lets me sing.”
“Okay guys, our very last guests are fans of you guys.”
“Does this mean I get to sing?” Howie asked.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the Ghetto Pigs!”
The three Ghetto Pigs came out giving peace signs as they made their way to the seats. Howie was still trying to get the writer’s attention but was ignored totally.
“Wassup homies!” Pig 1 said.
“DUDE, DIS PLACE RAWKS MAN!” Pig 2 said.
“Dawg, dis place is CRUNK!” Pig 3 yelled.
“I never understand what crunk means.” Kevin said to the duck. The duck waggled its tail and raised an eyebrow. “I know, what’s up with that?”
Meanwhile, the rest of the guys were giving handshakes and some ghetto greetings before making some space on the couch for the pigs.
“ah` miss ya` guys!” Nick said as he hugged Pig 1.
“Aww we miss ya` too! So what's new?”
“Well nodin` much, we're waitin` fo` dis chapter to finish so we kin go crib. What's new wid ya` guys?” Brian said.
“Well, we finally built a crib we love and we gots party all night. Hey, ennyone gots a cigarette?” Pig 3 asked.
“Yeah ah` do.” AJ said.
“Oh grfeed, ah` need to smoke.” Pig 3 said.
“Wow, that's a big ass necklace ya` have dere!” AJ exclaimed.
“Damn right! Ice all ova in dis one brotha.”
Hey Nick, ah` saw dis hot blonde babe backstage, said her name be Nicky, man, she's da bomb! ah` asked fo` her number and she said ring her sometime. ah` dink I'm in love man.” Pig 1 said.
“Oh God not again. I can’t I even understand what’s going on right now.” Kevin grumbled. The duck quacked her agreement.
“What? Nicky told ya` that? da Bitch!” Nick yelled.
“Nick dis be a family show man.” Brian reminded him.
“Oh yeah sorry. da bitch!”
“Okay, okay! Look man, she's no phat dude. You're better uhf widout her.” Nick said.
“Hey ah` also saw a kid wid a broom that fly backstage too. And dis two hairy midgets lookin` fo` da Precious. What's that about?” Pig 2 asked.
“ah` dink that's Frodo and Sam dawg. They were in da Crossova chapter ah` dink.” AJ replied.
“Ah ah` see. Well, they're all better den dat Justin dude. He raps about himself non stop, ah` almost kill him.” Pig 1 said.
“Wait, ah` thought Jason went uhf to kill him and Britney?”
“Jason got sidetracked ah` dink, he's back dere as well, playing wid his saw. ah` thought he was goin` to make ham out uh us but he's cool.” Pig 3 said.
“Wow, nice convo going on. I love how I have no part in it whatsoever.” Howie winked at Mersey.
“Well Howie, it’s hard enough to write a convo between 3 pigs and 3 Backstreet Boys as it is. Kevin doesn’t whine, so stop it.”
“He’s got a DUCK to talk to!”
“So you want an animal yourself?”
“Well, not really.”
“Gosh Howie, you’re giving me a headache!”
“I think that’s from writing ghetto.”
“Not really. I found this cool website that translate normal English to ghetto slang.” Said the smart writer. “But you’re right Howie, listening to them gives me the headaches. I don’t think I want to bring out Nicky and her dumb friends at this rate.”
“Well, you could end it here you know. I mean, we’re happy to finally go through that final door and you will finally have another story done. You do realize you have tons others that you need to update?”
“Thanks for reminding me Howie, now I really have a headache!”
“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help. I really think you should end it.”
Mersey sighed because she really loved writing this collaboration. “Well Howie, you’re not the group’s negotiator for nothing.”
“Damn straight!” Howie winked.
“Well, okay guys, sorry to break this ghetto party but I’m going to end this story right here.”
All the lights in the studio went on and for the first time, the guys get to see the audience. It was filled with all the characters that appeared throughout the story. It was heartwarming to see The Chinchilla and Mike Tyson hand in hand and Justin with Britney, slapping each other.
The boys each received a hug from the writer who rocks before they waved goodbye and a door appeared at the end of the stage.
“Ladies and gentlemen, animals and axe murderers alike…THE BACKSTREET BOYS!”
The boys took one last bow and Nick had a tear in his eyes. A part of him really didn’t want to leave the awesome writer behind. But alas, all good things must come to an end; he stepped through the final door, the cheering from the crowd the last thing he heard.
Hi guys! I would like to personally thank all of you who have been there since day 1 and read this little collaboration of ours. Sorry if it made you feel dizzy and think we’re crazy. Well, the crazy part is somewhat true. It’s a dream to write with these two girls and it wouldn’t have come true if it hadn’t been for our friendship. So thank you muchly Mare and Marina for jumping into this idea and going through it. We’ve had ups and the downs and I apologize if I ever come off too strong that I hurt your feelings throughout this entire process. I love you both!
Stay tuned for door number three...
Door number one revisited...it's about time! lol by Mare
The Writer's Back...Alright!
or I Did it My Way aka Maria's ending
SOME DAYS LATER
"Did you hear that?" AJ looked up the second he heard the voice over. "It's Randy! Randy my man. Does that mean your crazy boss is back?"
Writer: Who are you calling crazy, AJ?
"You!" Kevin was beyond mad. "Have you any idea how horrible it was to spend all this time here with them blaming me for choosing your door?"
"It was your fault Kevin," Brian whispered.
"Shut up Nick!"
"I didn't say anything. It was Brian. But since you came back Marina. Did you bring something to eat? I'm hungry."
"Oh, yes, add that too." Kevin continued his discourse to the ceiling. "Do you have any idea how terrible it was to spend all this time here with Nick whining?"
"I don't whine." Nick whined.
"Nick SAID," he corrected the writer. "I didn't whine it because... I do not whine!"
Writer: Okay Nick, if you say it. I really don't want to fight with you anymore. You are too cute and this is the last time we will be in this story. Forgive me for all the silly lines I gave you.
"You think I'm cute?" Nick grinned. "It's already forgiven."
"Thank you. And Kevin, why are you still talking to the ceiling? You know all this time we had corrected you over and over, telling you that the ceiling won't answer you back but you keep doing it." Maria said entering the room and leaving Kevin speechless.
"Yay! You are speechless. Good, because your constant whining was giving me a headache. And you can stop complaining now because I'm back and the end is near. Why do I feel like singing a Sinatra song? Never mind. What matters is that I'm back and now you will have your chapter."
"Great!" Kevin stood up still a little surprised that Maria had appeared before them and it wasn't the ceiling talking anymore.
"It never was the ceiling!"
"Whatever," Kevin shrugged. "And who is Maria?"
"The description, it kept saying Maria. I thought you were Marina".
"So who's Maria?"
"Me. That's my name, well, quoting Mare...kind of...sort of...," Maria giggled confusing the boys even more.
"Are you Maria Marina?"
"Of course not," she made a face.
"Then?" Howie waited for an explanation.
"Long story boys. Let’s just save that for the next fan fiction."
"There won't be another fan fiction if I can avoid it." Kevin shook his head.
"Good you can't then." Maria stuck her tongue out at Kevin and gave him a 'Kevin's look'.
"So we are getting our ending?" Brian interrupted Kevin who was about to start fighting with Maria again.
"Yes. You are, follow me."
"Where will we go?" Brian asked.
"Just around that corner."
Kevin hesitated, which caused him almost being run over by the other guys.
"Be careful," he complained. "And wait for me," he added finally following them.
They went around the corner really fast just to find themselves once again in a deep tunnel.
"I'm telling you, this dark places thing is getting annoying." Kevin addressed to Maria who was walking after them.
"What the hell!"
"Is this a wall? You made us walk directly into a wall?"
"Oh yes, that's why I was walking after you and not beside you" Maria chuckled to herself. "So are you ready for the big ending?" she asked while the boys rubbed their foreheads and noses.
"I guess." AJ was the one who put in words the boys' doubts.
"Then, here it is...tadaaa!" Maria said and a big colorful billboard appeared on the wall.
Brian was the one who read it aloud 'THE END'.
"That's the big ending?" They were all extremely confused.
"Yes. Isn't it big enough?"
"Is this a joke?" Kevin stared at Maria.
"You mean...that's it?" Howie was trying to find something on the other side of the wall.
"Yes, that's it. There's a door to your right. You can leave now guys. This is the end."
"That's lame," Nick complained. "Are you telling us that there's no more to this chapter?"
Maria didn't reply this time, just looked at the boys and bit her bottom lip.
"Tell me you are joking, you have to be joking." Kevin started to approach her.
"Come on Kevin, let go." Brian pulled his arm noticing Kevin was raising his voice.
"No. You made us wait this long for THIS? You were mentioning a good idea in the angst chapter. What happened to that?"
Maria looked down.
"It's over Kevin. Let it go." Howie intervened noticing how sad Maria was.
"Yes Kevin, you were the one who wanted to leave so much and now you want to stay."
"It’s not that, is just that..."
"You are unbelievable Kevin." Maria told him off looking up. "You know how hard this is for me? A part of me doesn't want it to end. You are not helping me."
"But this is not a chapter. You know that by now Mare probably has us being chased by a humongous chicken, and that’s just in the first 5 seconds of her chapter, and Mers has probably already written a lot of those funny weird things in her chapter that always leaves us really confused."
"Well, I made the billboard colorful; I was going to make it plain and simple black over white."
"Okay now you are really joking, right?" Kevin asked in astonishment and Maria smiled.
"What were you expecting?" she let out a giggle. "Spandex? Okay we need to make this clear. No matter what Mare and Mers say, I don't like you in spandex Kevin. I prefer you naked..." *cough* "I mean. No, really, you look awful in spandex. Which is weird because you always look great, well except when you are doing the weird free style dancing or when you are wearing those awful white shoes, or when you make that strange face when you laugh, or..."
"Wow. You really like me, don't you?"
"I love you, really. You are adorable, except when you are a jerk, of course."
"And people say I have the crazy fans," Nick whispered to AJ who laughed out loud.
"Well Nick, in defense of the people who say that, I'm a Nick fan too. I'm a big fan of all of you boys." Maria moved her eyebrows at Nick.
"Can we go back on topic?" Brian took a couple of steps until he was next to Maria. "Are you really going to end the story this way?"
"Why not?" Maria released a deep breath. "Look guys, its not that I don't enjoy writing this story. I love doing it but I'm tired and I need to go back to another story that has been waiting for months."
"I'm curious about that. Do you girls really write all those genres in your stories?"
"You mean slash, Kevin?" Maria elbowed AJ and both laughed at Kevin's face. "Of course not, which made this story even more of a great experience since we tried genres you would never catch us writing. Mare and Mersey are fantastic drama and adventure writers with a bit of hilarious comedy here and there."
"How about you?"
"Well, I'm kind of new to this fanfic world so I don't have many fan fictions except for a couple of short stories and the story I mentioned which is a sci-fi."
"Nice! But you are not stealing ideas from Star Wars for that one too, are you?" Nick asked tongue in cheek.
"I do not steal ideas from...Ugh! You know what... forget it."
"I was kidding." Nick put his hands up. "The sci-fi chapter was good."
"Thanks. It's good to hear that someone likes it because I don't have too much to compare it with. I really don't like sci-fi that much. I don't even read it."
"Then why are you writing it?"
"Because I'm weird that way?"
"Really? You weird?" AJ brought a hand to his chest in mockery. "We haven't noticed."
"Oh shut up AJ. Like you are normal."
"Okay either way, I refuse to finish this story this way." Kevin went back to complaining. "This is a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' chapter, right? But there's no adventure, no action, nothing."
"Hey, I did have an idea now that you mention it. Maybe we can try...."
"What?" Brian asked giving Kevin a stern look thinking that he was pushing too hard and they will probably end up regretting it.
"Well, I always wanted to do an action chapter," Maria confessed. "You know maybe having you be stunt men, being chased, jumping from helicopters, fighting with sharks."
"Next." Brian shouted out.
"I think it's a good idea." The writer defended herself.
"How about not," AJ shook his head at her.
"Then go through the door because that's the only idea I had." Maria frowned and folded her arms in front of her. "Well, the only one we can use," she pouted.
"Then you do have another?" Howie asked.
"Yes, but it's silly."
"Sillier than having us fighting with dragons with the help of a bunch of Brians... I mean gnomes."
"Ha ha Kevin" Brian rolled his eyes.
"The gnome thing was cute and creative," Maria kept pouting.
"Stop pouting and tell us what was this idea." Kevin let out a deep breath.
"Oh what the heck. You are right. We can't lose anything and I really have been having this image in my head for the last chapters. I will love to see it happening. Come with me."
Maria opened another door and the boys entered a recording studio.
"So we are going to sing after all?"
"Yes, how can I have an ending and not have you singing when your voices are what I like the most about you. You are incredible singers."
"Thank you." Nick gave Maria a kiss on the cheek.
"What's with the gallery and all the mics? Aren't we singing alone?" Kevin inquired walking into the room.
"No, you aren't. Please stand up in the first line and welcome the guy who will conduct this recording."
The door opened and Quincy Jones entered the room and greeted the guys. AJ smiled at Maria already guessing what she was planning while Kevin took a sheet from a music stand and read the title of the song.
"'We are the World'? Why this song?"
"It’s the perfect song for a big group of people. Not only has it proven to work marvelous for several types of voices but it allows to show love and... Who am I kidding? The truth is I just thought it would be funny."
"Do we want to know who are joining us?"
As if on cue the door opened that minute and every single character from the story entered the room one after the other. The TeEnybOper Girlz with Nicole in front, the chinchilla, the three ghetto pigs, Lord Nohajevian, the little dead girl, the axe man, Justin Timberlake, a gremlin...
"Gizmo!" Nick yelled running to hug the friendly gremlin.
Next came Harry Potter, the doctors, a nurse, the cowboy that challenged Kevin to a duel, Poster Girl, the wolf, Gus, Randy, who the boys didn't recognize at first because they had never seen him before, Jason, the gnomes, the howl crawlers, two hobbits and... okay, you get the picture... every single character from this story.
"I am going to sing, right?" Howie asked thinking that with so many people the chances wouldn't be too many.
"Of course you are Howie," Maria assured him. "Now please welcome the most important guests of this chapter." The door opened one final time and Mare and Mersey entered the room.
"Bravo!!!!" Every secondary character applauded. "Go mare!" the duck whistled. "That's ma gurl Mers!" one of the pigs cheered.
"Come one guys, assume your positions, you will find a music sheet in front of each place." Maria explained while everyone took their place in the gallery. "To make it clear, lets do a test. Just read your lines when you see your name. Nick you will start with "There comes a time" and then you and Brian can sing together the second line."
Nick and Brian decided to sing their part instead of read it. They where smiling and their arms were resting on each other's shoulders.
"Just read it boys, we will sing it for the great ending. AJ you will be next."
AJ read his line getting a little nervous by the proximity of the chinchilla who read the next line, followed by the duck.
"Did they always talk?" AJ asked staring at the chinchilla.
"Just for the purpose of this chapter AJ. After the duck, Lord Nohajevian and the pigs will join; each of them will sing a line and then will be time for the chorus. I want everyone singing, so gnomes don't disappoint me, I know you have great voices." Maria saw the gnomes nod so she continued. "Kevin will be next. Kevin, can you read the next line please?"
Kevin kept silent and everyone looked at him. The duck gave him the sternest look.
"Kevin please." Maria pleaded.
"Oh what the heck," he said throwing his hands up surrendering himself to the moment and hugging Brian and Nick before singing his part.
"Wow Kevin, that was great!" Maria blew him a kiss. "Then it will be my turn. I'll sing the next line and then you and I will have a duet, Kevin. And stop looking at me people; you knew I had to have a duet with him."
Laughs were heard in the gallery.
"Then it will be time for another duet but this time it will be Nick and Nicole."
"Wait a minute." Mare exclaimed. "Why are you singing with Kevin but I'm not singing with Nick?"
"Or me!" Mers looked annoyed.
"Well, exactly because of that. I didn't want to decide between the two of you but you will have a little surprise later. Trust me."
Mare and Mers looked at each other and decided to wait so they nodded to Maria who nodded back.
"After that our great tenor, the axe man will sing, then Mare, then Mersey and then Kevin again."
"Which part?" Kevin asked looking for it on his sheet. "The 'its true' line?"
"Yes, 'it's true we'll make a better place, just you and me'."
"Wait!" Howie interrupted her. "Kevin has lots of lines and I haven't sung so far. How fair is that?"
"Yes" Pipo supported him. "That's not fair at all. I don't have a solo either."
"And who the heck are you?" Howie asked him.
"I'm a howl crawler. Normally known as howl crawler number 1. Nice to meet you." Pipo offered him a hand.
"Okay if you give him a solo and don't give me one I'm making a big scene." Howie said pointing out to Pipo. "No offense to you man," he added shaking Pipo's hand. "You are probably a great singer."
"No offense taken." Pipo shrugged. "And I know my voice is not the best."
"You will have a solo Howie. And Pipo, you do have a great voice but I thought we have discussed this already. You are singing the chorus, which is really important. We need good harmonies there."
"Frodo and Sam, you are next and then..."
"Well, well, well lets realize" Gus sang. "That was my part right?"
"Wow Gus, great Cindy Lauper impersonation."
"Yes nice work Gus, and yes it was your turn. You do the whole Cindy Lauper part and then Nick, Mers and Mare will have the next part," Maria said winking at Mare and Mersey.
"Yay!" Mers and Mare applauded and ran to stand next to Nick who hugged them.
"Of course we are," they replied hugging Nick back and receiving a kiss on the cheek. Mers of course tried the old trick of turning around the moment he was kissing her, so the kiss landed on her lips. "Thank you Maria," both said kissing and hugging Nick non stop.
"And we are out of lines." Howie mumbled "Where I am?"
"You will sing alone the last part of the chorus, Howie. We will sing the chorus just one more time at the end of the song but it will be all of us singing the first part and then you will sing the last lines alone." Maria gave him the news.
"I will?" he asked not really believing it.
"Of course. Let’s try reading it."
Everyone minus Howie (and minus Mare and Mersey who were still too busy kissing and hugging Nick) read the first part of the chorus and Howie read the last part. When he finished everyone was clapping and cheering.
"Yay! We got it!" Quincy congratulated them. "I know you will do a fantastic job guys. Now to sing it for the great finale."
"Yes, but before doing that, remember that when the song ends the boys will be leaving" Maria pointed out. "So let’s give them another round of applause." Everyone clapped and cheered as loud as possible. "Guys," she went on when the applause finally stopped. “When the song ends you can leave through that door which will take you to your normal lives. It was a pleasure to have you in this story."
"Believe it or not girls, the pleasure was ours," Kevin told them and the other guys nodded.
"So Quincy whenever you are ready" Maria told the famous producer wiping the tears that were coming to her eyes. All the characters hugged and hand in hand started to sing.
'We Are the world' by the characters of '5 Backstreet Boys in Search of a Plot'
Nick: There comes a time, when we need a certain call
Nick and Brian: When the world must come together as one.
AJ (feeling the love and hugging the chinchilla): There are people dying.
Chinchilla (hugging AJ back): And it's time to lend a hand to life.
Chinchilla and duck: The greatest gift of all.
Lord Nohajevian: We can't go on pretending day by day.
Pig 1: That someone, somehow will soon make a change.
Pig 2: We are all a part of God's great family
Pig 3: And the truth
Pig 1 and 2: You know love is all we need.
Kevin: We are the world, we are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving.
Maria: There's a choice we're making. We are saving our own lives
Kevin and Maria (looking into each others' eyes in love... yes, I said in love because this is my chapter and I rule): It's true, we'll make a better day, just you and me.
Nicole: Well, send them your heart. So they know that someone cares
Nicole and Nick (with Mare and Mersey still glued to him and not allowing him to look at Nicole): And their lives we'll be stronger and free
Nick: As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
Axe man: And so we all must lend a helping hand.
All: We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving. There's a choice we're making, we're saving our own lives. It's true we'll make a better place, just you and me.
Mare: We are the world, We are the children
Mersey: We are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving
Kevin (hugging the duck): There's a choice we are making. We are saving our own lives. It's true will make a better day, just you and me
Frodo: When you are down and out, there seems no hope at all
Sam: But if you believe, there's no way we can fall
Gus: Well, well, well lets us realize, that one change can only come
Nick: When we
Nick, Mare and Mersey: Stand together as one.
All: We are the world, we are the children, we are the one who make a brighter day so lets start giving.
Mare, Maria, and Mersey (while Howie was tapping his microphone because it wasn't working): There's a choice we are making. (Howie was now hitting his microphone which still wasn't working) We are saving our own lives. It's true we'll make a better day just you and me.
Everyone was clapping and all the characters were still exchanging hugs. Howie, on the other hand, having a fit, was stepping on his broken microphone.
"Great job people" Quincy cheered.
"Hey. You three stole my lines" Howie pointed out to Mare, Mersey and Maria.
"Sorry Howie but since this was our story, I thought it would be the right thing to do to sing the end of the song."
"Besides that joke never gets old," Nick said laughing but he stopped when he noticed the door was open.
Everyone was laughing at Howie's face of disappointment but they were patting his back too, showing him that it was a simple joke.
"Good bye boys, we will miss you," Maria said after following Nick's gaze to the door.
The five backstreet boys exchanged some looks and nodded. Immediately, after saying goodbye to the secondary characters and kissing the writers, they walked to the door feeling extremely sad for leaving this incredible story behind. Nevertheless, not wanting to make the writers unhappy, they kept smiling in their way through the door, all except Howie, of course, who was still a little pissed off by the singing joke, but when he was about to exit the room, he turned around and gave everyone a cute wink and the most beautiful smile of all.
When I posted my first fan fiction I remember mentioning that meeting Mare and Mersey was the best example of the great things BSB music brings. I keep thinking the same... You girls rock! Especially for bearing with my late updates (Sorry again lol). It was a real pleasure to write this story with you. Love you both!
And again, thanks to all the readers for the reviews and comments :)
be back later with door number three lol
door number three ~ Mare's ending by Mare
And the Winner is…
~Mare’s last chapter heeheehee~
The boys were suddenly blinded by a magnificently bright light as they walked through the door marked Mare.
“Great…just terrific, so we enter the anal retentive one’s door and end up dead?”
“Um…Kevin why on earth would you think we are dead?” AJ asked placing his sunglasses on.
“And how on earth can you of all people call someone else anal retentive?” Nick was quick to add.
“Well think about all the symbolism for a moment guys. We walked through a tunnel only now to get to the end of a tunnel where a bright light is waiting for us.”
“But…but…I am too young to die!” Nick stammered as they continued on into the very bright light.
Mare: I can assure you that you guys are not dead. I have a rule that in all of my fanfics I never kill off anyone.
“Um…didn’t people die in this story? I distinctly remember Alexandra having her head chopped off.” AJ said giving the author a questionable look.
Mare: Right…what I meant was I don’t kill off anyone that is important to the story. All of the non you types are fair game I’m afraid.
“So we aren’t dead then?”
Mare: Nope Nick...not dead.
“Non you types? Wow that is horrible grammar.”
Mare: Thanks Kevin, I’ll remember that when I decide to write my next story. I think I’ll call it The Unfortunate tale of Kevin and the Cactus.
“Okay I get the hint.”
“Okay so if we aren’t dead, what’s with the light?” Just as Howie asked that, clapping was heard in the distance. All the boys looked at each confused by what they were hearing. The sound of The Elephant Walk playing in the background did nothing to help them in their confusion.
Writer: Keep walking guys, you’ll figure it out soon enough.
“Okie dokie…” Nick said taking the lead and walking towards the clapping.
“Guys this is strange.” Everyone looked at Howie like he was an idiot.
“Well it IS!” He said in defense of his stupidity.
“Guys I see blinking lights up ahead.”
“Can you make out what they say Nick?” Kevin asked as he jogged to catch up with the youngest member of the group.
“This reminds me of Christmas, with all the blinking lights, very shiny and Christmassy.”
“You’re a weirdo AJ.”
“Shut the hell up Brian.”
“Well you are!”
“Oh crap on a stick!” The two boys stopped arguing when they saw the sign that had Kevin let out that great proclamation.
“What the hell do you think that means?” Howie asked Kevin, but it was too late. Before anyone knew what was happening, someone grabbed Nick by the arm and started running him towards the stage.
“Here we go.” Brian said under his breath as they all were quickly escorted to the stage where in front of each one of them was a podium with their name on it in small blinking lights.
Mare, the witty and vibrant writer walked out wearing her Sunday best and stood at a podium of her own amidst a room full of cheering. The boys continued to look at each other a bit confused by what was going on.
Mare: Yes Howie…a bit, now excuse me while I start this show.
The music went on full blast as the audience cheered uncontrollably. Once again the boys looked at each other and shook their heads.
Mare: Welcome everyone to The Backstreets Boys play… *crowd says in unison* Hope you were paying attention.
“Ugh, I suck at these things.” Howie grumbled under his breath.
“Don’t worry D; I’m sure it’ll be nothing.” Brian reassured as the theme music finally stopped.
Mare: Welcome boys to the final chapter of your story. It has been quite an adventure plagued with mystery, suspense, laughter and tears. You are going to be answering questions to make it out of this story by trying to recall what has happened to you while you were here. So I hope you have been paying attention.
Everyone instantly looked over at Nick who seemed to be intrigued by his buzzer, hitting it on and off, trying to see how fast he could get it to go. When he realized all eyes were on him, he looked up and shrugged, “I’m sorry…did you say something?” He asked.
“Great…we are SO dead!” AJ said while letting out a sigh of disgust.
“I’m ready to play, I pay attention to everything so let’s get it on now baby! I have a wife to go home too!” Kevin placed his hand about an inch over the buzzer, anticipating the question.
Mare: Not so fast Mr. Richardson, of course this would be easy if it was just the five of you playing. Now where would the fun be in that? So I searched long and hard for five people to play this game against you. You have to beat them if you want out of this fanfic.
The music started to play again as the five people who the boys were competing against made their way out on stage and stood behind their podiums.
Mare: Let me introduce you to your competition…first we have Carrie. She is a super huge fan not only of you guys but of this story. She does not want it to end and will do anything to stop it.
Carrie: You are right about that Mare! I love you guys SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. Can I have a hug?
Mare: Not now Carrie, they are your competition, be fierce…be strong!
She said to the camera but then she made a little heart with her fingers and mouthed the words I love you to Nick who smirked at her.
Mare: Oookay then…next we have Sabina. She is well… interesting.
Sabina: Whatever *shrugs*
All the boys looked at each other and shook their heads.
Mare: Next up is Britney; she frankly doesn’t want you guys to make it to the end because that would make you happy.
Britney: Just so you know you all suck ass!
“Um…thanks?” AJ whispered.
Mare: There was going to be another player Melissa, but she kind of had a melt down so in her place is one of my own partners in crime…Mersey!
Mersey: I am SO going to win this you have no idea! I mean I wrote this thing!
Mare: Yes…oh and last but not least, Maria…Marina…whatever you would like to call her.
Maria: Call me a winner!
Mare: Okay here are the rules…I will call you two at a time to come up to answer a question. First one to buzz in and answer correctly wins. You are playing to 10 points so good luck to all of you!
Sabina: Yeah whatever…*shrugs*
Mare: Okay so let’s have Kevin up first and…
Before Mare could even finish her sentence Maria barreled past her team mates and ended up next to Kevin where she very uncompetitive like, laid her head on his shoulder.
“Uh…a little breathing room would be great.” He said slinking away from Maria who stuck her tongue out at him in return.
Maria: Just so you know Kevin, I am very good at these things and you do not stand a chance against me.
“Well, considering you wrote this story and all I would hope you get things right. Good Lord please explain to me how that is fair?”
Mare: Kevin stop complaining. Do I need to call the Waahhmbulance?
“That was funny! You are a funny girl Mare.”
Mare: Thanks Nick.
“Please spare me…” Kevin said rolling his eyes as the cactus loomed in the background.
Mare: Okay here is your first question…in the Teenybopper chapter…
“Hang on Time OUT”
Mare: Here we go…what’s the problem Kevin?
“Didn’t’ she write that chapter? I mean can’t you at least ask her about a chapter she didn’t write?”
Mare: I’m sorry Kevin, the questions are already prepared. Too late to change them around.
“This isn’t fair.”
Maria: Okay ask away Mare! Let’s go….!
Mare: What was the name of the girl who hit it off with Brian?
Maria: That would be Brianna!
Mare: You are correct! One point to the fans!
“So not fair!”
Maria: I’m sorry Kevin but I know a lot.
“You WROTE it!
Maria: That’s just a small technicality.
Kevin walked away from the buzzer in disgust as Maria hopped by high fiving her team, except for Sabina and Britney who would have none of that.
“So unfair…” Kevin grumbled one last time as Howie slowly made his way up to the main podium.
Mare: Okay who wants to compete against Howie?
She looked up and down the row of females and the rest of the guys snickered while Howie turned and gave them a look. “They just know they don’t stand a chance against me, that’s all.”
“Yeah D, that must be it brother.” AJ said trying not to laugh.
Sabina: You know what? I’ll go I mean…you don’t really look that good today or anything, no offense but at least you look better than the other guys. Nick does not look good at all in my opinion.
“What does that have to do with the game?” Howie asked innocently as the crazy girl made her way to the podium.
Sabina: It’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it.
“Okay then…” Howie shook his head at Mare who shrugged at him.
Mare: Okay here is the second question….IN the Suspense chapter, where did the Axe man fall from?
Sabina: Hrmm….well I don’t really read fan fiction because frankly I mean it’s kind of weird that you all would be writing about things happening to real people. So I think it’s weird and not right. I mean it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it. *shrugs*
Mare: So is that your answer then?
“Oh I know…I know!”
Mare: Okay, Howie what’s the answer?
Howie: Is it a tree?
Mare: Yes you are correct! It’s a tree…one point for team BSB!
“Oh yeah…It’s my birthday…we gonna party like it’s my birthday…”
Sabina: Whatever *shrugs* I mean it’s not like it was a fair question. I mean Fan fiction is just wrong and weird in my opinion.
Mare: You said that already.
Sabina: Just stating my opinion…which I’m entitled to by the way.
Everyone shook their heads as Brian came bounding towards the podium, now confident that if Howie could answer a question right they all could.
“Okay which one of you is going down?” Brian asked still bouncing like a little puppy dog at the first sight of snow.
“Aww what a cute little description.”
Mare: Thanks…so who is coming up here? Mers?
Mersey: I wanted to compete against Nick.
Mare: Mersey why don’t you let Carrie compete against Nick since you have gotten to pretty much do anything you wanted to the boy for the last 20 chapters or so.
She walked towards the podium and gave Carrie a glare and rolled her eyes at the incredible writer known as Mare.
Mare: Okay here is the next question…in the slash chapter which two characters got it on?
Mare: Kevin I believe you have nothing to do with this question.
“I wanted to say that nobody got anything on in the slash chapter. Nothing happened. NOTHING!
Brian was grinning wide at his cousin’s expense and then he buzzed.
Mare: Yes Brian?
“Kevin and Nick got it on!”
“We did not!!”
Mare: You are correct! That’s two points for team BSB!
“We did not get it on!”
Mare: Kevin enough, you know you wanted too!
Mersey: I knew the answer but I was too busy watching Nick blush…he’s so cute when he blushes with his little red, flushed cheeks.
Mare: Go back to your team.
AJ was the next one to walk up to the main podium. Not watching where he was going, he accidentally tripped on a glow stick that was thrown on stage and fell to the floor.
“Excuse me but that actually happened at one of our shows.”
Mare: I know this AJ, sometimes writers like to add things that have happened in real life to make the entire story more real and bring it to a whole other level.
“Oh, well couldn’t you pick something else, because that hurt like a bitch!”
Mare: Sorry I would have but Britney threw the stick at you.
Britney: Got that damn right…I got this bitch! Let’s go and by the way please stop wearing those damn skull caps. You look a fool in those things.
Mare: Okay…so here is question number four…In the Sci Fi chapter...
Maria: I wrote that one!
Mare: Yes we know…anyway…in that chapter, what was the name of the creatures that attacked the boys?
“I believe they were the Howl Crawlers?”
Mare: You are correct! Three points for team BSB!
Maria: Well actually it was the Howlcrawlers…one word but when you edited it you made it two words.
Mare: Because they are two words.
Maria: But it’s Sci Fi so it should have been one.
Mare: And I would have known this because?
Maria: Because that’s how I wrote it!
Mare: But you asked for me to edit it!
“Uh…so am I right or not?” AJ asked confused.
Britney: I should get the point since AJ is wrong and his album flopped just like I said it would because I am right ALL the time!
“Our album didn’t flop.”
Britney: Yes it did.
“No, it didn’t.”
Britney: Yes it did.
Sabina: I agree with Britney and I’m entitled to, because it’s my opinion.
Mare: The point goes to AJ because frankly you annoy the crap out of me Britney!
“Yes! Thanks Mare!” She nodded at the Backstreet Boy as he tagged Nick on the back to take his place.
Carrie bounced over to the stage and jumped up and down holding her hand to her mouth in disbelief that Nick was standing right in front of her.
Nick smiled at her as she bounced, “Hey there.”
Carrie: I love you….you are the best.
“Would you like a hug?” Carrie nodded and started to cry as Nick walked over and embraced her in a huge hug while the entire audience awed.
Britney: Damn teeny bopper. Nick is a fool and a jerk; I can’t believe you guys can’t see that!
Sabina: I can’t believe he is hugging her and not me. I’ll never get to meet Nick.
“But you just said you don’t think he looks good in YOUR opinion.” Kevin said raising his eyebrow at the incredibly all over the place girl.
Sabina: He doesn’t *shrug*
Mare: Okay you two, you need to break it up so we can get on with the game.
The incredibly talented and awesome writer gently pried Carrie’s arms off of Nick and walked her back to the podium as she continued to bounce.
Mare: Okay here is question five…the boys only need two more to win.
“Wait…I thought we were playing for ten points. If we got two more that would mean only five points.” Brian made sure to point out to the person who wrote that in the first place and would know what she wrote.
“Okay no need to get defensive, I’m just saying.”
Mare: Brian I changed my mind. Honestly this is already going on its eleventh page and my other stories aren’t going to write themselves.
“Brian hush! The quicker we win, the quicker we get out of here!” Howie whispered.
“Okay good point, sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
Mare: Okay question number five…in the action chapter what attacked Kevin?
Carrie: A duck!!!
Mare: You are correct very good… the fans have two points!
Kevin walked back over to the podium as did Maria who winked at the tall, handsome brunette as she grabbed his hand in a shake.
Mare: Okay question 6…in the horror chapter what terrorized AJ?
Maria: That would be a chinchilla Mare.
Mare: Actually you are wrong.
Mare: You’re wrong.
Maria: No I am not, I distinctly remember in that chapter that AJ had a chinchilla fall on his head a few times and I remember almost peeing myself.
“Oh I’m so glad my misfortune made you so happy Maria!”
Maria: Sorry AJ but its true. That was pretty funny.
Mare: That wasn’t the horror chapter that was the musical chapter.
Maria: Oh of course it was! Ugh I can’t believe I said that!
Mare: You are correct! That is Backstreet 4 and fans 2!
Maria: I can’t believe I got that wrong.
Mare: That’s okay we still love you.
Howie walked up to the podium, “Okay I’m ready to win this thing for us so let’s get going miss sunshine.”
All the boys laughed at that as well as the three nice, normal fans and the outstanding writer Mare.
Sabina trudged up to the podium rolling her eyes the whole way.
“I’m confused about these two people who are our fans. What is the deal? I mean couldn’t you find better people than these two?” AJ asked pointing over to Sabina and Britney who was kicking a small child to make her feel better.
Mare: That is another writer thing, sometimes we put people in our stories that tend to annoy the crap out of us, where we can use them in an open forum anyway we want. This case to mock them, although I’m sure in real life they are not bad people.
“Wow so these are real people?”
Mare: Yes although their names have been changed…slightly.
“SO Britney wouldn’t really be kicking a small child in real life?”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
Sabina: Can we get this over with? I mean no offense but I really feel creeped out being in a fan fic. I think they are kind of dumb and pointless in my opinion.
“And Sabina wouldn’t really keep repeating herself endlessly?”
Mare: Um….sadly she would.
Sabina: I don’t care what you guys think of me, I’m entitled to my opinion.
Mare: We know this! Anyway onto the last question…in the musical chapter…
“I hated that chapter.”
Mare: I don’t really care Howie; this is the question…who didn’t get their own song?
Mare smiled wide at Howie as he pounced on the buzzer. “Me!!!” He said proudly hopping up and down like a happy little fairy.
“Happy little fairy?”
Mare: How about a cute little kitten?
Mare: I aim to please and congratulations you have won the game! BSB 5 and fans 2.
The crowd roared with applause as the Elephant Walk played in the background and the boys all hugged each other and high fived. They all seemed so relieved and happy as the three writers walked over and joined them.
Mare: Well boys congrats! You have earned the right to leave this story once and for all. Thanks for being a part of this with us.
Maria: Yes, it’s been fun.
Mersey: We’ll miss you!
They all nodded and hugged as they made their way to the final door waving at everyone as they did. “All right let’s get out of here once and for all!” Kevin said grabbing onto the door marked Exit only to let out a frustrated sigh when it wouldn’t open.
“What in the holy hell…son of a Bit…”
Mare: oops yes I forgot, this is my chapter so of course we have to end with a song. Once the song is over the door will open!
“Did someone say song?” Howie asked standing in front of the door as a spotlight zoomed in on him.
This is Howie’s Song
Sung by Howie and company
Brian: This is Howie’s song….he’s been waiting to sing it all story long…
AJ: He is patient as a saint, but he also likes to color and paint!
Kevin: He has waited so looooong!
Nick: So here he comes to sing…his song
Brian: He is so strong of heart and he doesn’t really fart.
Kevin: And he is great with kids and money and one day he’ll have a honey
AJ: Wait and see
Nick: Oh Howie…oh Howie D!
Mare, Maria and Mersey: Howie you are so sweet and kind, Howie you are a friend of mine…Howie we love you yes we do…Howie you are the great Emu
Howie: You know you don’t always have to rhyme and I’d really love to sing now.
Sabina: Oh I love Howie now…he used to be my least favorite guy. But now Nick doesn’t look good in my opinion he’s skinny, thin and sly...
Carrie: Oh please just shut the heck up…and go so far away. Nick looks just fine and I’m sure he doesn’t care what you say!
Howie: Um...this song is about me and I still haven’t sung.
Britney: That’s because you suck…monkey dung!
Everyone: Monkey dung….
Howie: You just had everyone harmonize monkey dung?
Brian: So Howie…you know we love you!
Kevin: Even more than you love your own shampoo
AJ: Because you are the way you are and do the things you do….
Nick: Howie we really really really really really really really really…
Howie: really what?
Nick: I have no idea the lyrics just kind of stopped.
Mare: Oh…hrmm let me see that please *examines lyrics and then finishes phrase and hands it back to Nick.*
Nick: Really really really….loooooooove….you!
When the song hit its final chord the big door burst open and all of the boys waved as they walked out.
“Hang on a second! I’m not going anywhere until you let me sing! That was bull! I mean you give me a song and then you don’t let me even sing it?”
Mare: You got to sing I a few times.
“So not fair!”
“Um…Howie you are in the Backstreet Boys dude…you get to sing all the time” Nick said patting his friend on the back.
“Oh yeah, you have a point there Nicky!”
Mare: Bye guys!
All the boys waved one more time before walking out the door.
“I still can’t believe we didn’t get attacked by a single shark or anything and not even one plane crash or anything?”
“Nick shut the hell up!” AJ said as the door closed on the story forever.
Just a note…I’m sorry if I offended anyone in the last chapter but it was my opinion and I was entitled to it. Tee hee hee
And on a more serious note, just wanted to thank everyone for reading this and for Mersey and Maria for writing this. LMAO when you think about how it all started about a psycho fan, thriller and how it ended up, that alone makes a pretty good story. I am not big on collaborations because of my anal retentiveness but I’m glad I got to do this one with you.
Love you both!
And again thanks everyone for reading and enjoying this story!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.