Before we begin, let me remind you once again that what you’re about to see is a documented film, a re-enactment of my life as early as Darla showed up. I hope you learn something from it and I hope it somehow change any negative perspectives of this disease that you might have. I ask of you to while you’re enjoying this one hour documentary, that you take heed and realize that this is a true life account, and that when this tape is over, my life is still living the nightmare. So, are you comfortable in your seats? If you’re ready, we shall begin. :~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~: 1998, Ebay Town The room was stuffy and dark, not a single ray of light emits any corners of the small room. The windows were shut and the curtains drawn. On a normal day, he would be suffocated by the atmosphere for darkness is one of his greatest enemies. But today, it hardly bothered him at all. He closed his eyes as he heard the distant roar of a speeding car became louder by the second. It came to a sudden halt in front of his house and seconds later, a slam of what he assumed to be the car’s door broke the silence of the night. Everything became quiet again for a while and he focused on the stillness of the night air as he embraced the eeriness of his room. Uncomfortable as it was, he wished to stay there and do absolutely nothing. His mother’s giggles broke the silent ambience of the house again, joint by another raspy giggling. When that ended, he heard a set of footsteps lightly jogging up the stairs. It stopped abruptly in front of his room and he waited for the person to barge in. But instead of that, soft knockings on the door interrupted his thoughts. The pounding at the door matched that in his head. He cringed involuntarily and brought his hand up to his temple and gave it a little massage. “You in there buddy?” He groaned at the roar of his voice. It hurts his ear drums and ringed in his head like some bad song. “No.” He managed a reply. He heard him chuckled at his attempt at joke and then there was a soft ‘click’ followed by the door creaking open. Soft rays of light invaded the dark room and hurt his heavy-laden eyelids. He moaned softly. “Is this how you’re gonna spend the rest of your birthday like?” “I like it this way.” He replied, still refusing to get up. “Sorry bro, ain’t gonna happen.” The young man replied as he flicked the switch and the bedroom light came to life again. He moaned and dug his face deeper into the pillow. “Get up, we’re going for a ride.” He should have known. His friend is one who party all night and still manage to look fresh next morning. Reluctantly, he retreated from the gallows of the pillow and faced his friend for the first time. It hurt his eyes to have the lights on but giving himself time to adjust to the sudden change. When he finally managed to overcome this, he saw his friend standing at the foot of the bed, grinning. A single tattoo on his left arm caught his attention. “Don’t tell me you just got another one!” He croaked. “Like it? It’s my name spelt in Chinese.” He grinned, showing off his new work. “So, that’s how A and J looks like.” He mocked. “Someone’s peachy tonight.” The smile on his friend’s face faded. “Sorry.” He apologize, deciding that he wasn’t in the mood to argue. “S’kay. Anyway, happy birthday.” He threw the small envelope across the bed and landed perfectly on his lap. He eyed the envelope for a second and opened it up. A blue card with the words ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ emblazoned on its’ cover. He read the content. “HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY. YOU’RE ONE YEAR HORNIER, CONGRATS!” He smirked and looked up at his best friend. He was grinning. “AJ Mc Lean, the only heir to the richest couple in Ebay Town and he gave a card for, only his one true best friend’s birthday. Thanks a lot.” “Damn, you’re hard to please.” AJ groaned as he slumped next to him on the bed. “I did the maths. You’re rich, I’m NOT. I deserve at least a bike.” “What was it again that you want? Three wheelers?” AJ joked. “You know what I’m talkin’ about.” He rolled his eyes. “The rest of your present is waiting at the club, if you want, you have you to get your ass out of bed.” He contemplated on the idea. On an ordinary day, the club would be the perfect place to hang out at night. Being in a town with population of only five thousand, there weren’t much place to find entertainment. Most of the teenagers who hang out there were friends from school. But that night, just the mere thoughts of having loud pounding music blaring the entire packed room nauseate him. Not to mention the suffocation he would feel having sweating bodies grinding against him, shoving him and pushing him as they too tried to get across the room. Those thoughts sent new waves of headaches lashing on his heavy head. “Come on man, I’ve got all these surprises planned, don’t let us down.” “Us?” “Err…I mean, don’t let ME down.” AJ corrected himself. He raised an eyebrow. He knew AJ only too well. He had something huge up his sleeves. “Something tells me I’m gonna regret this.” He got up from the bed slowly. Once the dizziness died down, he head for the drawers. “Trust me bro, you won’t.” AJ said confidently. “That’s the thing, I don’t trust you.” He grinned and picked out a light lime green t-shirt, put it on and grabbed his denim jackets off the chair. He stopped over at the mirror next to the drawer. “Oh man, he’s looking in the mirror. He’s gonna realize there’re a lot he needs to correct and it’s gonna make AJ bored. I’ll wait in the car.” AJ whined and left. He smiled at his best friend’s joke but it quickly disappeared when he saw his reflection. He couldn’t believe at the sight of the young man who was looking back at him. His eyes bore into his sunken eyes and realized that they were one and the same. He reached for the comb sprawled carelessly on the study table and made an attempt to comb his hair. He stopped short and winced when the first brush felt like as if someone had stripped away his scalp and was scraping away at the exposed flesh with a razor. Abandoning the idea of continuing, he brushed his hair through his fingers instead, hoping that the rough look was still the fashion fad. “Happy Birthday Nickolas.” He sighed and took off. (anybody guessed that it was Nick? YOU do? Congratulations!) ***** Nick pushed the automated button and the window to the Mercedes Benz rolled down. He welcome the fresh air that raped his face, robbing away any warmth and replacing it with cold, hard wind. His hair now a bunch of messy blonde flops, his eyelids droop at the sound of the whistling lullaby the wind had flirtatiously whispered in his ears. He let his head fell back to the head seat, secretly thanking his stars for not having AJ bust his stereo system to the fullest. “Guess what’s your birthday present!” AJ almost cried as his eyes stood defiantly ahead, focusing on the stretch of road. It was dark for a night as early as eight. The only source of light was the headlights that stretched out as far as a meter away, where beyond that limit, darkness and the unknown loomed dangerously. “You got me a strip dancer?” Nick asked, faking enthusiasm. “Oh man, why didn’t I think of that?” AJ whined, pretending to sound disappointed. “I wouldn’t expect anything less than that from you J.” Nick smirked. “Ah well, there’s always next year right?” AJ replied positively. “I’m sure there will.” Nick replied, feigning uncertainty. “Of course there will you prick!” AJ laughed as Nick failed to smack the back of his head. In the split second where Nick seemed to forget about his headache and was reaching out playfully to hit his friend, AJ too neglected his concentration on the road, his eyes fully on the hand that was about to smack him. And in that second, they didn’t see the truck that was heading towards them until it was too late. “AJ! Watch out!” Nick screamed. But AJ couldn’t make out the words over the siren of his panic. They saw the light first and wondered why they were suddenly bathed in it. Part of them were thinking that it might not even be real. The truck swerved to avoid them, but the road was too narrow. The siren was drowned out by the sound of breaking glass and bending steel. Lights gave way to darkness. ***** That night, my bestfriend and I got ourselves into a very serious accident. AJ was trapped in his seat and was finally out after a strenuous two hour battle with chains saw against metal. He suffered internal bleeding and a mild concussion. It would take him a long four weeks to recover properly and resume life as normal. Knowing how strong and positive AJ is, I have no doubts about his survival. And so four weeks later, he did. For me, I had a piece of metal rod pierced on the right side of my waist, missing the spinal chord by inches. It was painful, how else could I have describe it. Pure pain that knows no boundaries or limitations. It keeps growing, as if mutating itself in me and spreading sparks of needle pricks to my body that even morphine couldn’t hold down. I lost a lot of blood that night and my life was hanging on a thin line, threatening to snap at any given time. But, through blood transfusion, I survived. Everyone was glad for me, doctors called me a miracle child for my fate was foretold to be facing Mr Death himself. But now, I am beginning to doubt if it was even a miracle that I have lived. For the gift of eternal slumber would be a million times better than what was about to happen to me next.

“Carter, I’ve lost count how many times you missed a pass. And don’t tell me you’re not feeling well coz it’s been two months! Even AJ is jumping around well!” Coach Volante yelled, forcing the training session to stop. Nick hung his head low, his eyes penetrating at his own pair of worn out shoes. There was nothing left to say, no reasons to give except that he was indeed not feeling well. Everyone else was getting tired of his same old excuses. Sometimes, he began to believe them and thought that it was only in his head. But how could he explain the series of mild fever he had been having and the constant headaches that come with it? He knew he wasn’t imagining that. “If you continue like this, we’re going to loose the finals and you’re not going to get that scholarship you need. Do you want to end up like him?” Coach Volante continued, finger pointing witchingly at a framed picture of a young man not much older than Nick himself, entombed in a glass panel with medals surrounding him. They call him ‘The Fallen Star’. Nick had always begged to differ but that day, he wasn’t in a mood to be defending someone else when he’s own life seemed to be the topic of the day. He could feel another twelve pairs of eyes boring into him at that moment. Feeling their anger and frustration at being stopped because of what he did. He could even feel AJ’s eyes blaming him for everything. He was bringing the whole team down. “Take a break boys, I’ll be back. And you Carter, better get yourself straighten up or you can stop dreaming going out there next week with your captaincy intact!” Coach Volante slammed the orange basketball against the wall, the impact deafening the entire indoor sports hall of Ebay Town High School. He remained on his ground as the heavy footsteps drifted away and the sudden banging of a door being open and shut could be heard. He waited for the verbal abuse from his team. He hoped they won’t shout that loud or it would only make the headache worst. “Anyone with a brain knows he’s not a fallen star.” Andrew said, breaking the tensed silence. Nick, upon hearing this, looked up to meet his gaze. “Don’t you think so?” “The guy is called B-Rok for a lot of reasons ya know. And fallen star is not one of em.” AJ agreed as he approached Nick, resting an arm on his shoulder. He knew then that they weren’t mad at him. And yet, the guilt lingered. “It’s not like he took drugs and died in a car accident.” Trevor added, staring at the picture. “He was like the best player ever to play for Ebay High.” Marcus, who was a dead ringer of ‘The Fallen Star’ himself, agreed. “Oh puh-leez!” Nick turned to the voice and raised his eyebrow. He wished the guy hadn’t said anything. B-Rok, as they had nicknamed ‘The Fallen Star’, was the guy who willingly offered to take him under his wings and guided him through his passion. If it weren’t for him, he wouldn’t be the captain of sixth time reigning state champion. “No one ask for your opinion J.” Nick glared at the vice captain. “It’s a free country Nick. I talk when I want.” Justin hissed, bouncing a ball in one hand while his stare locked into Nick’s. A snide smirk appearing at the corner of his mouth. “Ignore him Nick, not worth your spit.” AJ said, trying to break the ice. “Well you whine like an old fart, so spare us all the agony and just shut up!” Nick growled, ignoring AJ. “Or you could just spend the break practicing and spare us the humiliation next week.” Justin retorted. “You know Justin, the only thing that’s keeping all eleven of us from beating the crap out of you is this rule in school.” AJ smiled. “Break em then. Your parents practically own this damn school, they’ll get you out of the mess. But my father will still sue you.” “Stop hiding behind your father Justin, how old are you?” AJ mocked. “Like the way you splash around your parent’s money? I bet you buy your condoms with their money too.” “I bet you sue that red haired chick for not fucking with you last week. Tough girl, knows a wuss when she sees one.” AJ rebutted. Nick wasn’t paying attention at the verbal abuse any longer. The churning in his stomach had started again and he had acknowledged it’s urgency to show him it’s contents. He turned and started to run towards the boys’ shower room, leaving the argument behind. “That’s it Nick, run away! Just like Littrell!” Justin shouted behind him. He heard AJ yelled back a remark and then everything just shuts down on him. All it mattered was to get to the shower room and rushed straight to the toilet stall on legs that threatened to collapse beneath him. Crouching beside the bowl, he let nature took it’s course. AJ decided that it was stupid to argue with an imbecile and decided to catch up with his best friend. He knew that Nick was sick and was always throwing up in between classes. When he reports in late for class, he would be there to cover him up from being mauled by their teacher. It had worried him so much. He tried telling everyone who would listen that Nick needs attention for his health that he had suspected something major, but everyone was quick to dismiss it as a norm after a serious injury that he had suffered. He tried to convince himself that he was just over working his imaginations but seeing how it had badly affected his life, AJ was beginning to have doubts again. When the sensation had passed, Nick sat in the small stall and stared up at the ceiling. He was shaking all over. His face felt hot. His heart was pounding with the force of a bass drum and there was a tightness in his skull that warned of an impending headache. He had no control over his own body anymore. The pain comes and goes as it like, his body was only a host, the core of things brewing evil. AJ moved closer to the slumped figure in the stall. He sat on the tiled floor just outside it, facing Nick. “What’s going on with you?” AJ asked calmly. It took him a while before he turned to face him. His eyes were full of pain and in desperate need to confide but his mouth uttered nothing. Knowing Nick, AJ didn’t press the matter any further. They sat like that for a while, a companionable silence existed between them. “You’re not gonna end up like Rok, if that’s what you’re thinking about right now.” AJ said, breaking the silence. Nick’s gaze fell upon his friend once more. He had been thinking about Brian Littrell. He had been a year older than them and was the captain of the basketball team when Nick and AJ entered. He doesn’t know why but Brian had taken a liking towards him and had personally spent extra time coaching him at being his best. The three of them were very close then until it happen. Brian Littrell ceased to exist. Just like magic, he was gone. No one knew the reason why. Teachers were informed by his parents that he would not be attending school anymore. That there was no need for it. People started throwing accusations, making their own theories about his sudden disappearance. What made it even worst was for the fact that he had been acting strangely days before he left. Now that Nick think about it, he was behaving exactly like Brian was then. People said that he was drinking too much, hence the constant throwing up, linked to a very bad hangover. Brian was very distant then, drawing himself away from everybody and his temper, which was normally hardly flares, became short. He even pushed away from Nick when he tried to understand him, just like what he was doing to AJ now. The lump was back, bigger this time, like a boulder in his throat, blocking the words. He breathed deeply, struggling for composure so that he could tell his best friend what he was feeling right then. “He didn’t even say goodbye. Like both our friendship meant nothing to him. Have you ever wonder where he is right now, if he’s even alive?” Nick asked at last. “Everyday of my fucking life bro.” AJ replied, staring at the floor. “And you know what I’m afraid of?” Nick asked. He didn’t wait for a reply and continued, “I see myself going that path too. I’m becoming him AJ.” “You don’t know what you’re talking about Nick.” AJ said. “Don’t I? Then tell me what the fuck is going on! I’m feeling so sick every fucking day and I’m throwing up what I ate every five minutes! And they don’t even believe me when I say I’m sick!” Nick cried, frustration finally oozing out of him. “And to bag it all up, my back hurts like a bitch but did coach even care? No! All he cares about is to keep that damn trophy!” “I believe you.” AJ whispered. “When will everyone else believe me? When I suddenly disappear without saying goodbye? No reasons at all?” “You’re not gonna disappear Nick. You’re sick and I’m tired watching you like this. Let’s take you to the doctor right now, how does that sound?” AJ asked. “Do I have to?” Nick cringed. “I will drag you if I have to.” AJ replied. “What about practice? What about Coach?” Nick asked as he pulled himself up. He felt the world spinning around him and almost lost his bearing when AJ caught him half way. “What about him?” **************** “Mc Lean! Carter! Where do you think both of you are going?” Coach Volante shouted from across the hall. His authoritative voice like a stereo blast to the fullest. “He’s sick! He can’t practice.” AJ replied. “Since when are you an expert to diagnose people AJ? He’s given the green light to play three weeks ago so don’t try to get away with it! Now get your ass here or you’ll forget about playing next week!” “You don’t really care about winning, do you?” AJ asked Nick. “No I don’t. But I need the scholarship or I’ll never see College.” Nick replied regretfully. “Your health is more important Nick!” AJ pointed out. Frustrated that his friend was about to give in to the Coach’s demands again. “It’s not about me man. I can’t disappoint my parents.” Nick explained. “You know they can’t afford to see me through college and you know how much the scholarship means to them.” Nick sighed. There was no way in talking him out of it. “If you snap your back out there Carter, don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” “Great wish AJ.” Nick grumbled as their reluctant footsteps made their way back to the training ground. “You know I have your back, but I can’t promise you that it’s gonna be enough.” “It’s good enough for me.” *********** So, from that day onwards, for one whole week, my world evolved around school and practice. Sometimes, I amused myself that I managed to pull through undetected. Or maybe people just don’t care. AJ kept bugging me to go for a check up but we were always rushing for practice or other stuffs that it kept me preoccupied all the time. It became a habit of mine to dash out of the classroom in between lessons to empty my stomach and teachers were raising their own suspicions. Alcohol, drugs, you name it. I think the only thing that made them kept their distance was the fact that I was a straight A student, I lead our Basketball Team to three years state champions in my Senior years and I don’t get myself into huge troubles. Mom, apart from AJ, was the only one who really saw the change in me. Dad is a great guy, but his world evolved around slaving himself at work to make ends meet. But just like AJ, I pushed her away too. If I only knew that those one whole week would be the last I’d be spending time with my family, I wouldn’t have pushed them out of my life. ********* “Listen up boys, we have exactly one minute to score or it’d be over. I want you to use the same trick I told you during practice, don’t mess it up!” Coach Volante instructed as the Ebay High team crowd together for a last minute pep rally talk. “We’d be winning if it hadn’t been for Carter.” Justin hissed. “Shut up J. This is team work, you don’t point fingers!” Andrew glared at the vice captain. “Girls,” Coach Volante mocked. “If you mess this up, you will ruin everything. It’s up to you! Justin, don’t try to be hero and stick to the original plan, and Carter, are you sure you can handle this?” “Yeah.” Nick replied, shaking off the headache. He wished he could just abandon the whole game and empty his stomach. It had been grinding and churning non stop but he knew that everyone was depending on him. And he needed the scholarship. “Okay then, bring it on!” Nick got into position, it was their ball and Justin was ready to aim it in his direction as planned. The other team looked set to get disarrayed by the little play in his eyes, eyeing Andrew instead of Nick. AJ passed by his best friend, whispered an assuring ‘I have your back’ and got into his position. The whistle blow. The opposition team quickly made their way towards Andrew while Justin jumped in mid air, hands outstretched as if to pass a high ball towards his direction. But he made a swift turn mid air and slammed it down towards Nick, who was free off guard. He saw the ball coming towards him and was in position to receive it. Dribbling almost two thirds of the court, with the crowd cheering at the back for the home team, he found AJ, already waiting near the hoop. The clock showed they had only ten seconds left. In the corner of his eyes, he saw someone in blue coming up fast towards him, and he knew that it wasn’t friend. He knew his exact moves for he had tried it before himself. He was going to throw a high ball and he knew that the guy in blue could read his game. In that split second, his world came to a stop. AJ was looking on in question, confused of why he wasn’t playing along with the plan. The cheerleaders were chanting ‘Pass it on! Pass it on!’ and he could see his family somewhere in the stand, cheering for him. Their hope for a son to be awarded a scholarship seemed to be coming true right before their eyes. He did the only thing he could, he aimed the ball low, ready for a hard low pass to his best friend. Realizing this, the opponent dive for a low interception, he could see his right hand ready to block the ball. He made a half turn, blocking him with his own body and raised the ball up for a high pass. AJ caught it perfectly, the opponent was deceived and he looked on as AJ slam dunk the ball home. The clock stopped, the home team won. The crowd cheered, seventh championship in a row. The team rushed up to AJ, the man of the match and together, they carried him on their shoulder. The trophy was sailed from one hand to another and finally came up to AJ and he showed it off to the world. Nick looked on from where he was standing, the victory smile on his face slowly fading as he felt a tight sensation growing at the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t the same feeling he had felt every time he had to throw up. This was something else. A whole new set of pain altogether. All at once, the churning emotions crystallized into one intense sensation. He felt like exploding, the pain now spreading in every part of him. He felt the need to breath but it was like as if someone was blocking his air way. His energy finally drained from him, he gave in to the pain and collapsed. It felt like the whole world was celebrating the victory with him but the only thing that he really want was to celebrate it with his partner in crime, his best friend. He searched the entire hall, looking for that one person who had contributed so much to the game. It was to his advantage that people were carrying him on their shoulders, letting him have a bird’s eye view of the whole situation. Then he saw him, standing at the same exact spot where he had passed the ball to him. He could have a clear shot at goal himself but had passed it to him as planned. He could have been the one they were carrying right now but he wasn’t greedy. But it puzzled him that the young man wasn’t celebrating their victory. He didn’t rush up to the crowd and cheered together with them. He was just…standing. He called out to him, shout and scream at the top of his lungs, only to be drowned by thousands more voices like his. And when he saw the figure suddenly came crumbling down, he knew the reason why. In the moment of utter shock, he pleaded with the sea of people to let him down but his cries were left unheard. He had to shout at them, and even yelled until he got their attention. Puzzled at his sudden burst of frustration, they let him down. He pushed through the crowd and his heart sank when he saw no one had even acknowledged his fall. Everyone was celebrating, hugging each other and no one saw his agony. He made a dash towards him. he was lying on his side, his body hunched up into a ball, his forehead covered in perspiration, his eyelids flickering and his mouth forming unspoken words. But you don’t need a genius to understand him. He was asking for help. “Stay with me Nick, you’re gonna be alright!”

That fateful evening, the victory celebration was cut short by my ‘unexpected downfall’ as they had branded it. I might be the guy who fall from grace. But I was also once known as the guy who ‘has a brilliant future ahead of him. A potential Harvard Grad and most promising to become professional Basketball Player’ as they have put it in my year book. They had once lifted me up like glory, their prized possession. Teachers loved me, everyone wants to be my friend and ironically as that may seem, I found true friendship in a guy I never thought I would even talk to should the circumstances were different. There were mixed feelings going around the campus. While others took pity, wondering what could have triggered my sudden collapse and came up with their own diagnosis, others were quick to slam that I had indeed followed the footsteps of my mentor. I was the reincarnation of Brian Littrell. If that had been the case, it would make it a lot simpler for me. Drugs, alcohol, it’s common tragedy among youngsters like us. But how do I explain what had happen to me when I don’t even know what it is? They kept me in the hospital for three whole days, wasting my father’s hard earned money on hospital bills and then told me that they were still trying to figure out what was it that went wrong. Finally, on the fourth day, they found an answer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ Day Four ~ AJ strolled down the eerie silent hallway towards his best friend’s ward with a heavy, unsettling feeling heaving on his chest. He had had the strange sensation ever since he woke up that morning. Going to school had been uneventful lately and he was getting tired of people talking about Nick Carter. He couldn’t wait for school to be over and then meet his best friend, just like he had done for the past three days, but that day, he felt different. He felt fear, of what, he was still unsure of. As he got nearer to his room, his heart beat raced a notch than normal. What will greet him behind that door, he don’t know. A thousand and one thoughts came invading his distraught mind and none was assuring. He heard voices in the room and stopped. He strained his ears to listen to the conversation, hoping that it wasn’t something that he didn’t want to hear. “You have to stay Nick, the doctors will find out the truth soon. You have to be patient hun.” AJ recognized the voice as Jane, his mother. “Four days is a long time. You guys can’t afford to keep me here.” Nick’s familiar defiant voice protested. “I will get the money, you’re not going anywhere.” His father’s voice insisted. “You have mouths to feed. The twins have to school. I will be fine at home.” Nick reasoned. A smile crept up AJ’s face. It was a typical Nick Carter’s speech. “Yeah, I miss Nicky! When can he go home?” AJ couldn’t differentiate which one of the Twins had said that. “I’m coming home today bro, no worries.” Nick replied. “Don’t give him any ideas Nickolas! And we will be fine. You’re sick, you belong in here.” Mr. Carter stood his ground. AJ wasn’t about to wait for a protest from Nick, he plastered on a smile and stepped in. “Hey everyone!” Nick was about to say something but stopped upon seeing him. The frowned quickly replaced by a relief smile. “Hey man, out of school already?” “Nothing much going on.” AJ replied. “Hi Jane, Bob.” “AJ, you don’t have to come here everyday you know.” Jane said softly. He noticed the eye bags under her eyes and realized that she hadn’t been sleeping much. “We know you’re busy son. And what would your parents say?” Bob added. “They’re out of town, as always, they don’t care really.” AJ replied, a tinge of bitterness in his voice. Nick might have been poor, but he was rich with family love, AJ was the total opposite. “I’m sure they do. Just busy.” Jane replied, smiling at him. “Yeah, I’m sure too.” AJ smiled, trying to be polite. “Hey squirt! How are you today?” AJ diverted his attention to Aaron, one of the twins and ruffled his messy mop of blonde. “Nicky’s coming home today!” He gleamed. AJ stole a glance at Nick, his face troubled. “Oh yeah? That’s definitely good news! Have you been a good boy?” AJ asked the five year old. “Aaron bullies me a lot! I want Nicky back!” Angel screamed at the back, hiding behind her father. “Oh yeah? You know you won’t get any candies if you do that right?” AJ joked. “I did not!” Aaron pouted, almost resembling his older brother. “Okay you two, quiet down a minute, Nicky’s tired.” Jane stepped in. AJ turned to look at his bestfriend. True enough, Nick was lying down on his back again, his eyelids half closed, about to fall asleep. His heart ached at the sight of him. He didn’t know where the feeling came from, but the sight of Nick closing his eyes brought fears in him. Like as if he would never wake up again. He wish he could shrug him out of his slumber but he knew his parents wouldn’t approve of that. Two doctors came into the room all of a sudden, with two male nurse in tow. AJ knew that he shouldn’t be alarm, that they are doctors who will help his friend, but somehow, his heart refused to listen to his rational explanations. It kept on pounding at alarming speed. He sensed something urgent and bad. But it couldn’t be. Nick doesn’t look like he’s dying. He could even hold a conversation with his family just seconds ago. “Move him to isolation, nobody handle this patient until further instruction from me.” The first doctor said firmly. AJ knew him, he was the one who had taken care of Nick when they first brought him there. A very soft spoken, passionate man in his opinion, but right then, he was anything but that. The two nurses quickly made their move, pushing both Mr. and Mrs Carter out of their way without even acknowledging their presence. AJ was getting frustrated by the sudden cold treatment the Carters were getting but was too afraid to speak up. He gathered both Aaron and Angel to a corner and watched helplessly as they removed Nick from the bed to a gurney, dragging along his IVs. Nick woke up from the movement and he saw fear written all over his face. “Where are you taking him?” AJ asked. “M…Mom?” Nick trembled, unsure of what to make out of the situation. “Honey, stay still okay? The doctor’s here.” Jane said from a far, wishing that she could go near and hug her son for comfort, like she did when he was young, but her husband’s firm grip on her wrist made her not to. She was as clueless as her son was, Dr. Riley had been acting very cold towards them suddenly and the other doctor with him wasn’t even doing anything about it. “Where are you taking our son?” Bob asked, trying to get Dr. Riley’s attention. The doctor kept his eyes on the nurse, watching their every move as they shifted Nick out of his bed. “Are you deaf? That man, the boy’s father, is asking you a question!” AJ yelled in frustration. He felt Aaron and Angel trembled behind him and quickly regretted his actions. Dr. Riley glared at AJ but he stood his ground and stared back at him. It was in situations like these that he loves to make use of his parents’ status as the richest family in the town. He was invincible when he wants to. No one could touch him. “We have found the cause of his sickness, right now, we’re putting him in isolation. I will explain it all to you after this is taken care of.” Dr. Riley replied emotionlessly to both the parents. Bob just nodded and turned his gaze towards his son. His first born. What was wrong with him? “N…No!…Don’t let them…what’s wrong with me? Mom?…why are they…isolating me?…DON’T TOUCH ME!” Nick snapped at the nurse who was trying to adjust the IV needle that was starting to pull off from his struggles. Jane was crying, she felt helpless that there was nothing she could do to calm her son. He had grown up to be a very matured, calm young man and to see the state he was in then was something new to her. Isolation…it meant none of them could visit. “Could you…give us some time alone please?” Jane spoke up. “Only you and Mr. Carter. The kids are not allowed near him.” Dr. Riley replied, sounding impatient. Jane moved towards her son and he pulled her for a hug. “Please, don’t let them take me!” She felt the tremble of his body, he was truly afraid. There were times when he was young that she would rub his back and that would calm his nerves but now, nothing she did could soothe him down. “It won’t be forever Nick. I will come back and see you. We all will.” Jane replied, trying her best not to cry for her son’s sake. “I can’t…please, if you love me, you will take me home.” Nick begged. Jane cried. She love her son dearly, but she couldn’t do what he had asked her to. “I’m sorry baby, you know I love you but I can’t take you home, you’re sick.” Nick didn’t say a word and pushed her away. He knew he was losing the battle. They are going to take him away and there’s nothing that he could do about it. He saw his father moved in, wanting to give him a hug. He reciprocate but he wasn’t feeling much. “You’re letting me go, aren’t you?” “You understand why don’t you son? You’re smart enough to think for yourself. And you know we love you no matter what.” Bob replied. “I know.” Nick replied and then laid his head back once again. AJ looked on desperately from afar, wishing that he could go near. He watched as Jane and Bob exchanged hugs and words with their son, wishing he could do something to take away their pain. He saw Nick lye back down on the bed and one of the nurse gave him an injection. Nick shut his eyes but didn’t squirm or tried to resist it. AJ felt someone tugging at his shirt and turned back to find Angel looking up at him. “AJ…I want to hug Nick too.” His heart felt like it had plunged from a high rise building. He didn’t have the comforting words to tell the girl that she couldn’t hug her brother who was about to be dragged into some isolation room, away from the human race. He pulled her close and she wrapped her arms around his waist, buried her face on his side and cried. Rubbing her back hoping that it would somehow calm her down, he turned to look at Aaron. He wasn’t crying, but his deep set eyes was locked on his elder brother, lying helpless as they gave him a jab. “Hey Aaron,” AJ called out. Aaron turned and he saw his eyes glistened with tears. “Nicky’s gonna be alright. He’s a strong guy.” Aaron nodded his head and as a tear trickled down his cheek, he turned back and quickly wiped it off. They were starting to pull him out of the room. Nick had flopped his head to one side, his glassy eyes staring ahead in a daze. It didn’t blink or showed any recognition when they pushed him pass Jane and Bob. He didn’t blink but frowned when he passed by Angel and Aaron and then, his eyes moved up to look at AJ. No expression, no goodbyes and he was out of the room. But again, AJ knew his friend was crying for help. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ AJ waited anxiously for Jane and Bob to come back with news about Nick. It had been too long and the twins had finally given up fighting with each other and were now cuddled next to him on the sofa at the waiting room. He was about to drift off too when he heard the familiar voices of Jane and Bob whispering. His eyes sprung back to life and he stood up, unable to wait any longer. “What did they say?” “It’s not good AJ.” Bob replied. AJ eyed Jane for a while. Her eyes were swollen, obviously she had been crying. How could it be that bad? Nick doesn’t look ill to him, just tired and a little sick, nothing that they haven’t seen before. “It couldn’t be that bad right? What is it? A bug?” AJ asked nervously. He shoved his hand down the pocket of his jeans, trying to warm them up. His eyes darted from Jane to Bob, wishing that they could just tell him the truth. “The doctor said that,” Bob paused, unsure of how to break the shocking news to Nick’s bestfriend without having him freaking out. He realized there is no better way in telling someone a bad news. He sighed and wished that someone else could do it. “AJ, have you heard of Darla?” AJ frowned. “I don’t know anyone by that na-” he didn’t finish off his sentence, he realized what Bob had just said. “No…it can’t be! Nick has Darla? Darla as in the disease?” Jane started to cry softly again. Bob just nodded his head as he too found himself fighting off the feeling to cry. AJ slumped back on the sofa, reality sinking in. The only thing that kept repeating in his head was the words ‘no cure…no cure…’. “AJ, they want to do the same test on you and the twins just to make sure.” Bob said after AJ had regained some of his composure. He nodded his head. He knew he didn’t have to worry. He knew he wasn’t infected. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nick watched as his parents argued with the doctor in his isolation room. He thought that he was not to have any visitors but he didn’t care. He had already begun to miss them. Maybe, he thought, they had a misdiagnosis and everything would be better again. “We want to take him home, there’s nothing else that you can do to him in here.” Bob was saying. Nick didn’t know what to make out of it. They had acted as if he was really sick but his father was saying that he wanted him home. “You’re putting the twins at risk if you bring him home.” Dr. Riley pointed out. “What are you talking about?” Nick asked, unable to be left out of the conversation. “Do you want to tell him?” Dr. Riley asked Bob and Jane. Bob didn’t reply but look over to his son, his face still flushed but alert. “Nickolas, the doctors told us that you have Darla.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My mind went blank for a while after I heard that one syllable word coming out from dad’s mouth. I think my brain was just trying it’s best to ignore the fact and refuse it totally. But after awhile, there was this voice at the back of my head saying ‘I’m going to die, I’m going to die’ over and over and over again like a broken record. It’s like facing death sentence, you know it’s going to happen you just don’t know when. It’s a constant fear of having to close your eyes at night and wondering if you’ll ever see tomorrow. Dr. Riley told me that the best option was to stay at a Home where all the Darla patient are treated and given utmost attention by committed nurses, doctors and caregivers. I would get to share a room with other patients and live life as normal as I could with this disease. My family could come and visit in the weekends. But of course, mom and dad refused to put me in any homes. If I were to die, they want to spend the rest of my life with them. It’s where I belong, they said. I felt really loved and lucky to hear that from them but at the same time, I know that I have to go to the home. It isn’t my choice, but I can’t risk having the twins caught the disease from me. Yes, we could do all the necessary precautions to avoid this, but should I risk it? There were many ‘if’s and ‘but’s questioning the move and finally, I guess, it all comes down to sacrifice. I made a decision to go to the home. That same evening, a caregiver from the Home came for me. He was a soft spoken man who didn’t talk much but when he does, he didn’t look at me and see a dying person. Mom and dad returned with my suitcases. All containing my clothes and some personal items. It’s funny how your life could be so filled with perfection and the next you’re like a dead man walking. I wasn’t given a choice or time to think about it all. There was no time for me to sit back and dwell into my doomed and shed the tears that I desperately need to let go. Other than my family, everyone else are rushing to put me away. It’s like all the compassion in human beings had been ripped off them. I was given fifteen miserable minutes to say goodbye to my family and bestfriend and to go away to a place where I would be spending the rest of my life in. With strangers who face the same death sentence as I do. As I climbed in to the white van with Kevin, my eyes stood fixated on the four figures waving at me outside. A scene that I learnt to still and framed in my mind as my heart cried for leaving my life behind. Now, could you sit and close your eyes, and try to be in my shoes?

Have you given it a thought? Could you really imagine how it feels like to be me that time? I hope that it scares you, because that’s the purpose of it all. To be scared of Darla. Now, brush all those thoughts to the back of your mind. Don’t erase them, just don’t think about them right now. There are more where those thoughts come from and the more you continue to watch this documentary, more knowledge will be stored in you. Knowledge that might just save your life, and hopefully, if it’s not too late, my friends and I. The Darla Santuary, as they put it in the pamphlet Kevin had given to me while on our way there, was situated at the deepest south of Ebay Town. The outcast area, we had referred to it. The place had mysteriously been left undeveloped by the government. There were hardly any residential estates built up and it had been a place where runaways took solace without being chased away by the man in blue. However, all these, I didn’t get to see for the van was an enclosed one, with no windows at the back. The Home itself was situated right on top of a rather high hill. It’s exterior was painted dull white, I remembered coming out of the van and thinking I was about to enter an asylum. This is my home now. Like it or not, I will eat, sleep, live and die here. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The alarm clock rang, screaming throughout the entire room, automatically awakening the occupants sleeping in it. It felt like being in boot camp, he thought to himself. No matter how many times he had been through the routine, it never felt belonged. He had always regarded it as an intruder, an invasion into their private world. He wished for sleep, as only being in that state of mind would he get freed from the burden of enduring the constant pain raging his body and stopping his mind from thinking about dying. Or when it will finally be his turn. Someone had switched off the alarm, he silently thanked whoever it was who had done it. He sat at the edge of his single bed, dropping his legs to the ground, searching blindly for his slippers. Finally securing them in place, he willed for the room to stop spinning and then pushed himself up from the bed. It wasn’t as bad, he could still do it on his own. No need for help. “Kevin shouldn’t have bothered.” His roommate groaned. He turned to face him. There were three more beds part from his. And two of them were empty. Of course, he had forgotten again. The two beds had remained unoccupied for quite some time now. Jamie had left them first, peacefully, in his sleep. He just didn’t wake up one morning and they took him away. Then it was Mike’s turn. They were playing cards one night and his heart just stopped. “He’s just doing what’s best for us.” He reasoned, hoping that his friend would start the day afresh and not having a bad mood all day. “What best could come out of it? We are going to die in the end.” His roommate argued, already stepping out of bed himself. “Argh! I’m not even going to start arguing with you about that.” “Why not? We’ve only been through the same argument for like forever.” He replied sarcastically. He didn’t mean to be hard on his roommate. He had been there for him the very first time he stepped into the home. He had found valuable friendship in him after he had lost all his friends when he disappeared from the face of society. Did they even think of him or wonder where he had gone to? He had no idea at all. All he knew was he was trapped in a prison cell, hidden behind so called righteous propaganda. If only they knew the things that were going on in this place… “Are we not going to talk to each other the whole day again?” His roommate sigh as he flopped himself back at the edge of the bed. “Your session’s today isn’t it? No wonder you’re all grumpy.” He smirked. “Laugh all you want man, it’s gonna be your turn tomorrow.” His roommate reminded him. “Just try to be nice today k? We have a new roommate coming in today. The first few weeks would be the tough to handle.” He reminded him. “Why should I even care? I’ve been through it three times with you, Jamie and Mike.” “Because that’s just you bro. You care for people. This damn thing stole everything from you, don’t let it take that away too.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Once he set foot into the huge building, a lady who was dressed in a nurse uniform greeted his caregiver, Kevin. The entire trip to the home, Kevin had been very helpful. He talked about what to expect once they reached there but at the same time, would give him his space when it looks like he needed to space out. “Jessica, this is Nick, he’s going to be in my floor.” Kevin introduced. “Well, you’re one lucky fella Nick. All the guys on Kevin’s floor are a happy bunch coz Kevin spoils them.” Jessica said, offering a handshake. Nick smiled and took it. Jessica sounded genuinely nice but he was feeling a little discomfort to be talkative. His heart was still yearning for home. Where the place is smaller compared to this but filled with people whom he loves. His heartbeat was beating too fast for his own liking. He had been too worried about blending in with the people there. There would be no Mom when he felt too sick to make it to the bathroom. There would be nurses instead, people whom are caring enough yet strangers in his eyes. Surrounded by sick people like him, the whole place would just be filled with identical sufferings and longings. How could they expect him to adjust to this? A man, a little shorter than Kevin but held the same dark features as him came from behind one of the corners and offered to take his luggage up for him. There were only two of them and Kevin had already taken the other one. “It’s okay, I can carry this. Thanks.” Nick replied politely. This is not a hotel, he reminded himself. He have to learn to take care of himself. “Okay then, let me show you to your room?” He said. Nick looked at the name tag on his white uniform. Brandon. “The guys are ready for their new friend right?” Kevin asked as they took for the stairs, making sure that he matched Nick’s slow strides. “Yeap. They’re thrilled. The beds had been empty for far too long.” Brandon replied with a light chuckle. “They must be getting tired of each other.” Kevin smirked. Nick’s strides became slower and heavier every second. Not only climbing the stairs were getting to him, he was too anxious to find out about his ‘roommates’. What if he couldn’t fit in? It had taken him months to get comfortable with High School and AJ had been friendly enough to talk to him. AJ…Nick missed his best friend very much. “Nick, don’t get me the wrong way, but you’re tired, so let me take that bag for you okay?” Brandon said, interrupting his train of thoughts. Nick held on to the railing as he tried to get take off the bag off his shoulder. He had been thinking too much, too many things had happened in a day, none of which are good. He needed to just sleep it off. He wanted to muttered a thanks but was too tired even for that. He nodded instead. “You’ll have all the rest you need after this and we’ll just talk more about this place another time okay?” Kevin said as they continued climbing up the stairs. “I’m just sorry you have to use the stairs. The lift in this place had been stalled for months now.” Brandon apologized. Nick couldn’t think of anything to say at that point. How could a home with sick people not have a use of the lift? Don’t they get someone to repair it for them? Nick tried his best to put on a smile as they reached the door to his room. Tired as he was, he wanted to greet his roommates in a positive note. Not just another guy with the deadly disease. “They’re nice kids, I’m actually glad you get to have this room.” Kevin assured him once more as he knock on the door. A doctor who happened to pass by at this moment, saw them. “You could just go in there you know, there’s no need to knock.” “It’s called privacy Matt.” Kevin replied, not even looking at him. The doctor scoffed and walked passed, not even acknowledging his presence. Nick wondered if that doctor will ever attend to him. He hoped he don’t have to. The door opened slowly and a sleepy head greeted them. While he was still busy rubbing his eyes, Nick was wide awake. The smile on his face gone in a flash of lightning. “Brian?” Brian recognized that voice. Had missed that voice. Had miss the person behind that voice. He looked up instantly, the blurry vision now clear as daylight. True enough, the young man standing next to Kevin was indeed Nick Carter himself. The smile on his face faded when he realized the purpose of his appearance that day. He wasn’t there for a visit, he was there as a roommate. A roommate with the same death row. “Nicky?” “Oh good, you know each other.” Kevin smirked. “What are the odds?” Brandon chuckled. “You’re here all these time? They said stuffs about you but I never believe them…you…I missed you so much bro!” Nick stepped in and they were both locked in a hug. “I’m sorry you have to be here.” Brian whispered. “I’m not anymore.” Nick smiled as he pulled back. “If I were to die, might as well be with a friend.” “Not just a friend. We have another guy. He’s sweet, you’ll like him.” Brian said as they walked in the room. Kevin and Brandon stepped in with the bags. “Which bed would it be?” Kevin asked. “The one facing mine?” Brian asked. Nick looked around the room. There were four single beds, two next to each other and the other two facing each other in the opposite direction. He assumed the bed that Brian was sitting on was his, and the one next to him looked occupied. The room left little for any more space but was compensated with the large window that emit enough light into the room, adding color to the dull white. “That’d be fine for me.” Nick smiled. “Where’s D?” Kevin asked, looking at the empty bed. “Session.” Brian replied dreadly. “Oh…not good.” Kevin chuckled. “Tell me about it.” Brian sighed. “Okay guys, I have to go now, Nick, you take your rest, maybe Brian could fill in more details about this place,” Kevin said, throwing a knowing look at Brian. “We’ll talk more once you’re rested.” Nick nodded his head and watched as Kevin and Brandon left the room. For a few seconds, he just sat at his new bed, staring at Brian who was staring back at him. Identical sorrow eyes feeling sorry for the other. “All these time…I really don’t know what to make of your disappearance. You didn’t even say goodbye.” Nick said. “That’s how it works Nick. When you get into an accident, did you know it before hand? Then you might prevent it or the least you could do is say goodbye to your loved ones. Same thing happen to me.” Brian explained. “I know…I didn’t even get to hug my sister and brother for the last time.” Nick sigh. He felt the tears coming but choose to ignore it. “Ah, the twins, how are they? And everyone else at school? You have to tell me everything, I miss the outside world.” Brian chuckled. “Come on, it’s not that bad right? I mean, we still get visits on weekends, I’m sure your family are more than happy to cover it all up for you.” Nick smiled. “We’ll go to that later, now tell me first, did you get to be captain when I left?” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ “Wow…things definitely change out there…” Brian let his words lingered, he honestly did not know how to end it. Nick look on at his friend. The information he had told him were nothing extravagant, things that happen in school, what happened to the Mayor and why he was replaced shortly after Brian had left and how AJ and him had met with the accident. Small things that he could have read in the news or watch on TV. But Brian seemed awed by it all, as if he had been totally severed ties with his family. “I tried calling your mom…you know, to ask her about you? But she never wanna tell, said I’m better off not knowing. Did she visits you a lot?” Nick asked. “How is she these days?” Brian asked, his eyes showing signs of the incoming tears. “Does that means she never comes for visit?” Nick asked, sympathy clearly in his voice. “No one comes for visit Nick, and I know it’s not her fault.” Brian replied regretfully. “What do you mean?” Nick asked, puzzled. No one comes for visit? How could that be? “Kevin haven’t told you? I don’t blame him…when I first got here, I was just as confused. But you’ll learn. You’ll be fine Nick, I’ll help you pull through.” Brian smiled. “Why are you talking in circles Bri? I don’t understand you.” Nick groan. “Well-” Brian didn’t get to finish his sentence. The door to their room was slammed open, the sudden noise startling both of them. Nick looked at the guy who had just made his entrance. He doesn’t look too good. His eyes were swollen and red and he was struggling just to stand, let alone walk, and yet, he saw no nurse or caregiver helping him. Brian had seen this before, had even been in the same situation countless of times himself. He got to his feet and quickly helped his friend to his bed. As always, Howie would be cursing and refusing help but Brian had learn to ignore it and help him either way. He stole a glance over at Nick, worrying if Howie’s condition scares him but Nick has problems of himself. Maybe Nick had wanted to help too and had stood up too fast. He suffered from that all the time, but after having the disease for almost two years, he knew how to control them. Nick is just learning. He saw him holding on to the bedpost, legs threatening to collapse any moment now. “You okay Nick?” Brian asked as he struggled to keep Howie’s hands from pushing him away. Nick doesn’t seem to hear him. “Quit pushing D!” “I can walk on my own, stop treating me like a god damn baby!” Howie slurred as he slumped his head down on the waiting pillow.” “Stop acting like one and maybe I would!” Brian said firmly. Howie stared at him for a second and then succumb to the fatigue that had taken over his entire body. “Leave me, I wanna go sleep.” “When you’ve decided to wake up, be nice.” Brian said casually and went over to Nick who had managed to sit himself back down on the bed. “Dizzy spells huh?” “Yeah…I’m getting used to it already.” Nick groaned. “Some days are worst than others, it will pass.” Brian assured him. “I’m okay. So, that’s Howie?” Nick asked, looking over at the figure lying on the bed. “Yeah, sweet D himself. Don’t mind his bad mood, he’s been through a lot. He’s a nice guy once he’s decided to open up.” “You were talking about ‘session’ what’s that all about?” Nick asked, yawning. “You’re too tired bro. Why don’t you sleep over it and we’ll talk again later. Hey, we have only until the end of our lives right?” Brian joked. Nick wondered if he could ever turn out like Brian, taking the deadly situation into a joke. “Yeah, we do.” ~*~*~*~*~*~ AJ climbed up the grand stairs, the main decoration of the house, to his room in a daze. His thoughts keep repeating the same old question, ‘What happened?’. It had taken him by surprise, maybe, he was in shock. Is that the end of it? Nick Carter will not be around anymore? He’s only best friend? Mrs. Carter said that he could still come for visits on weekends but that’s not how he want it to be. A friend should always be together. Go shopping together, pick up girls together, be jerks together, hang out together. It’s not something to be done on weekends only. Will they allow him to get away from the home and spend a few hours somewhere else? It began to sound like a custody battle. It is just wrong. He walked past his father’s study room, too distraught in his own thoughts that he failed to see his father sitting on his reading chair. “Alex?” AJ stopped and walked back a few paces. It was strange to hear his father’s voice in the house in the afternoon. Him and his mom would normally returned late at night and besides, he thought they were supposed to be overseas right now. He peered his head in the room. “Dad? When did you get back?” “A few hours ago. Turns out we managed to complete everything earlier then scheduled.” His father replied as he folded the newspaper he was reading in half and placed it on the coffee table next to him. The room was heavily decorated in rosewood furniture. The walls covered with dark green, pink flower printed wallpaper and the ceiling high windows hidden behind heavy set of dark red velvet curtains. Soft rays of light penetrated from the small window panes high above, enough to emit light for one’s reading pleasure. The room itself was heavily filled with the coolness of the air conditioner. AJ hardly ever come to this room as it was where his father often would stay and hide from the rest of the family, immersing himself with work. “Oh.” AJ replied short, unsure where to stand or what to do. He had grown up knowing that his father and mother could never be with him most of the time and this had slowly build invisible wall between them. Nevertheless, AJ always tell himself that they love him so much. “I heard that you score the winner for your team a week ago. Congratulations.” AJ’s eyes beamed at the mention of the match. His father had made an effort to keep up with his life. “Yeah, we get to keep the title for another year.” AJ smiled. “How’s Nicky doing?” “Huh?” “I heard he’s been sick for awhile. I was thinking that once your mom get back from her trip, we could pay him a visit together. He’s in the General Hospital, am I right?” AJ studied his father’s features for a second. They had been away for too long, that sometimes, he would wake up wondering how he’s father looks like. Did he cut his hair today? Or was that beard always there all the time or did he just start growing them? He didn’t inherit any of his father’s features, mostly was taken up from his mom, but he’s father definitely had that same raspy voice he had. “Er…he’s been shifted dad. To a home.” AJ replied uncomfortably. “A home? Why? Is he okay?” The crease of lines on the old man’s head showing concern that was hardly visible for AJ to see. “He’s suffering from Darla, dad. They took him away and we can only visit on weekends.” AJ replied. The expression on his father’s face changed. It had turned into a frown. AJ couldn’t understand the sudden change in his father. He had kept quiet for a while after he had told him about Nick. He stood there not knowing what to do. His eyes darted around the room, settling for the wall high of racks of books collecting dust. He wondered if his father really read all of them. He had never touch any himself. Most probably the books being everything about business had never caught his interest. “You’re not planning on visiting him, are you?” His father finally speak out. “Of course I am. He’s my friend no matter what.” AJ replied. “You can forget about that Alex. You are not to visit him ever again, you hear?” His father said firmly. “Wassup with you? He’s my friend, I can visit him anytime I want! I’ve never said anything when you disappear almost half of the year all the time, so you have no rights!” AJ shouted at him. “I have every right because you’re my son! Don’t you go there ever again Alex! My decision is final!” “I’ve always made decisions by myself coz you’re too busy to decide for me, don’t start now dad. I will visit him on weekends, no matter what you say!” AJ stormed out of the room, ignoring the yelling of his father demanding him to stay put and listen to him. His vision became blurry as he disappeared behind the door to his room. Remembering to lock it for privacy, he slump his body down on the king size bed, feeling the warm tears of frustration wetting his cheeks. In his troubled mind, the same question keep repeating in his head, “What had just happened?” ~*~*~*~*~*~ “Come on Aaron, you have to go to sleep now.” Jane said tiredly as she tried her best to put the twin to sleep. It had taken her the whole night to get Angel to sleep. In between her sobs and cries for her big brother, she had slipped into unconsciousness, but Aaron refused to budge. “No!” He whispered a loud defiant protest, knowing very well that he shouldn’t disturb his sleeping sister. His arms folded across his chest, he glared at her and let out a frustrated sigh. “You have to honey, Mummy’s too tired for this. It’s already two in the morning Aaron. You have to go to school tomorrow.” Jane replied patiently, her heart willing her not to start crying now. How she wish she could just disappear from there for a while, abandon her responsibilities as a mother and just cry her heart out. “I don’t want to! I don’t want to go to school!” Aaron whined. “Honey?” Jane turned to the figure standing by the door of the room. “I’ll be back in a minute baby, I just need to get Aaron to sleep.” Jane replied. “I tell you what…why don’t you head back to our room, and I’ll try to persuade this little monster to sleep?” Bob said as he approached the room. For the first time, she noticed the glass of milk and a chocolate cookie in his hand. “Bribery…not fair.” Jane smiled. “Just this once.” Bob smirked as he shrugged his shoulder. Her heart almost stop beating. Nick always do that when he had nothing left to say. Smirk and shrug. She nodded her head, not trusting her voice to reply without cracking up and left the room. Bob looked down at the five year old and smiled. Aaron didn’t return the smile but eyed the cookie. He couldn’t help noticing how much similar he is to Nick. “Don’t tell Angel, but I have a cookie for you. Can you make this our own little secret?” Bob asked as he sat on the empty chair next to his bed. Aaron nodded his head and took the cookie from him. He watched in silence as Aaron munched on the cookie hungrily. Reminiscing on the past when he used to do this to Nick. Their first bundle of joy. He was very proud to call himself a father then. No matter how small he managed to bring back home, they were always happy. It’s just the three of them for the whole of three years before Aaron and Angel arrived. “Ready to sleep now?” Bob asked as he watched the young one finished off the glass of milk. “No.” Aaron whispered, his eyes dropped to the blanket that was covering half of his body. “You have too AC or you will get sick.” Bob coaxed. “That’s okay, I want to be sick.” Aaron replied bluntly. “Why would you want to do that? I thought you hate being in bed all day.” Bob mused. “I want to be sick so the doctor will let me stay with Nick.” His heart sank at the words. So innocent and simple, it speaks honest truth about the five year old. He couldn’t afford to loose another son to the disease. It had already tore him apart inside to know that he’s first born is going to die. A father shouldn’t bury his son’s grave. That is just wrong. Willing himself not to cry, he got up and motioning Aaron to move a little, he slid himself next to his son on the single bed, careful not to make too much noise for his only daughter who was sleeping on the bed next to them. He draped his arm protectively around his son and let his head rest on his chest as he pulled the blanket high up to his neck. He felt his small arm hugging him back, holding on to him as if he doesn’t, he would disappear too. “AC, you cannot get sick, Nick won’t like it. He won’t be living here with us anymore but there, where he is living now, they can take care of him and make him get better. You want him to get better don’t you?” He felt his little head nodded. “So you see AC, you cannot get sick or Nick will get worried and he will never get better. Besides, we’re going to visit him this weekend, you will still see him.” Bob said. “Promise?” “Promise. Now, will you sleep?” “Will you sleep with me tonight?” Aaron asked. “Of course. I will be here.” Bob replied, ruffling his son’s blond flocks. “Okay, I will sleep.” She turned on the tap and splash the cold water to her tear stricken face. Finally alone, she had taken solace in their bathroom, crying her eyes out. How can she not? Her first born child, the baby she had carry in her for nine months, the one who lightens and complete both her and her husband’s life, making them a family, are separated from them overnight. Living in a house and taken care by strangers until he finally sleep and never wakes up again. How could a mother live with such an arrangement? Drying her face, she took another last look at her swollen face and feeling exhausted, walked out of the bathroom. Passing by Nick’s room, her mind kept saying over and over again that he’s in there, sleeping; nothing has changed. It’s like any normal night, the Carters are sleeping. Not allowing herself to dwell into it, she walked pass the twin’s room. The door was slightly ajar and she took a peek inside to see if her husband had succeeded in getting the young boy to sleep. It warmed her heart to see both father and son sleeping together. She used to sneak into Nick’s room when he was around Aaron’s age, to find her husband sleeping in that same position. Her heart ached again at the sudden flash of memories. She looked over at her daughter sleeping alone in a fetal position and a sudden yearning to be beside her surged through her tired body. She crept inside the room and slowly, climbed into bed with her daughter, her body as if a missing puzzle that fit perfectly with hers. Her back to her husband and son, she took in the strawberry scent of her daughter’s hair. “He will be alright Jane. We all will.” bob said out loud, knowing that the twins were too deep asleep to hear him. She didn’t say anything, just willing for the fresh warm tears to wet her cheeks again. She closed her eyes and tried to find solace in sleep that just refuse to come.

My first night in the Home was as unbearable as I'd expected it to be. After talking to Brian and the brief meeting with Howie, I fell asleep. It had come so easily for me since I was physically and emotionally drained by then. When I woke up, total darkness greeted me. Not a single ray of light in the room except for the dim glow of the street lamp that had faintly made its presence known from the window. My visibility was minimal but I saw no point in being able to see what was surrounding me since I don't even want to know it. In that split second, my thoughts went back to my room. But then I realized that I had been spending the last four days in the hospital. And then remembering what happened there and finding out I had Darla, I realized I was sleeping for the first time, here, in this Home. Reality sinking in, I realized that I'll be spending the rest of my nights alive in this place. I was, for the first time, truly scared; of what was now, what was then, and what as to become of me in the future. Do I have a future? I felt my stomach churned, then remembering that I had not had anything to eat and had most certainly missed my first dinner there. Hungry and alone, I wondered how my family were doing back at home. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Nick cursed himself for sleeping that afternoon, now he found himself wide awake in the middle of the night. His thoughts were of his family and AJ. The center of his life, now gone. How was he to stand alone all of a sudden? He willed for sleep to come but instead, he heard someone whimpering. Shocked, he stayed still and listened as the whimpering became more audible. It was Brian. He was tossing and turning in his bed, calling out for his mom. Nick realized that his friend was having a bad dream. "Momma…come back…don't…leave me…I don't want to die…I don't wanna die…I don't wanna die…" Hearing Brian cried out like that scared Nick. Brian was so positive when he met him earlier that Nick was beginning to have faith that one day, he would be able to accept his misfortune and embrace it and live the rest of his life being happy. He definitely wasn't counting on Brian to fall. He saw Howie slowly crept out of bed, still weak from the 'session' he had that morning. Nick saw that he was holding on to anything that could support him until he reached Brian's bed. "Brian…wake up…wake up buddy, it's just a bad dream…come on now…" Howie's voice so soft and calm that Nick had trouble making out what he had said. Brian however, kept squirming in his bed as his sobs died down. "Hey, there you go…it's all right Rok, all a bad dream…" Howie coaxed as Brian pulled himself up to a sitting position, composing himself. "I can't take this anymore D…I want out…I don't want to stay here anymore!" Brian cried as he willed his tears to stop. Nick laid very still, closing his eyes yet listening to every single word uttered. "Calm down…you're not thinking straight." Howie coaxed. "Aren't I? What are we here for D? What are they doing to us? It's my turn tomorrow and you know what they're gonna do right? It's not helping us D, I don't want to be used like this!" Brian cried in frustration. "Remember what Kevin told us? We can't ruin this for him." Howie reasoned. "Screw Kevin! He's not the one going through the torture! He's not the one dying!" Brian protested and he ran his fingers through his sweat stricken flocks. "But Kristin did and you know he's hurt like any of us here. We can't do this to him, not now." Howie pointed out. Nick couldn't help frowning. He couldn't understand what they were talking about. Why was Brian so upset? He was so cheerful earlier on. He even offered to help him survive in this place. "Why are you still here D? After what happened, why didn't you try to get out?" Brian asked, ignoring his reasons. "And go where Bri? No one's waiting for me out there. They're all in heaven…I'm just waiting for my time, and then I'll be reunited with them." Howie replied sadly. "D…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up." Brian apologized, regret evidently clear in his voice. "It's okay, I know you didn't mean it. Look, we have to get some sleep, you especially need a lot of rest for tomorrow. Just hang in there all right? It won't be this bad forever." Howie replied, sounding genuinely positive. "I don't want to die." Brian said all of a sudden. "Then you won't. You will get well and see your family again. I will take the dying part from you, there's nothing more I want in this world than to die, so let me be the one. You just worry about getting well." Howie giggled. Nick didn't find anything amusing, in fact, he got scared. "I'm going to be very crappy tomorrow." Brian whined. "I know. Been there done that," Howie joked. Brian chuckled. Nick was even more confused. "Come on, lets go back to sleep, I don't want our new friend here to hear this, he's gonna be shock if he do." "Yeah, poor guy, it's gonna be tough for him." Brian sighed. "It's always tough when you're the rookie." Howie agreed. "I'll introduce him to you properly tomorrow." Brian said. "Cool. I will be nice again by then." Nick listened as the bed sheet rustled loudly in the stilled room. Both boys now settling to go back to slumber land. What had just happened? Were they keeping something from him? Why didn't Brian's mom came for visits? Why does he sound like he was totally deprived from the society? Nick closed his eyes, blocked everything away. He tried to remember and pictured his room, imagining he was in his own bed, in his own room. Nothing had change. The twins were sleeping and both mom and dad were just two doors away from him. He pulled the blanket up to his chin, pretending to smell the same comforting smell of his room. The tears had started to fall, feeling lost for the first time. Darla- somehow, the sickness buries more than just death upon its' victims and Nick was determined to find out what they were exactly. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Are you going to stand there forever or wake him up?" Howie asked as he watched Brian stood at the foot of their new room mate's bed, doing nothing. "You remember about that guy I talked about a lot from school?" Brian asked, his back still facing Howie. "The one you play bball with?" Howie asked, wondering why it had anything to do with not waking up the young man. "Yeap, that's the one." Brian replied, nodding his head slightly. "Okay…" Howie replied, unsure where the conversation was going. Brian moved to the side of the bed and placing a hand on his shoulder, shook it gently. He watched as the serene face contorted into that of pain. "It's okay…time to wake up now…" Brian whispered softly, not wanting for him to wake up startled. His eyes opened slowly, squinting as if trying to adjust to the surrounding all over again. "Rise and shine bro." Nick woke up to a fully blown headache pounding in his head. He quickly acknowledged it as a sign of lack of sleep. He was only able to find slumber somewhere at five in the morning. Brian sounded like nothing he was last night, but now, he was determined not to be fooled. "Can I wake up later? I'm too tired." "No can do Nick. Rules. We have to be down for breakfast in fifteen minutes and you've not taken your shower yet." Brian explained as he waited patiently for his friend to get up. There were so much needed to be explained and taught or the circumstances would be ugly. Nick frowned and pushed himself to a sitting position. His world was surrounded in darkness immediately and he felt his body slumped to the bed once more. He was in a lot worse condition than he thought. And it was only supposedly to be the start. "Try getting up slower this time." Nick felt a hand rested on his left shoulder, encouraging him to get up again. He opened his eyes and found Howie looking down at him, a small smile carved on his lips. His brown caring eyes boring into him. This was the Howie he heard comforting Brian last night. "Come on, we'll help." Brian said, offering a hand. Nick took the offer while Howie gave a light push from the back. The dizziness never left him and he felt himself blacking out for the second time, but the hand that had pushed him never let go. "Just close your eyes and breathe slowly. It will pass." Howie advised. Nick listened and did as was told and found the dark spot that had formed in front of him disappeared. Finding his composure again, he opened up his eyes. "There ya go, all brand new!" Brian giggled. "Thanks." Nick croaked as he rubbed the back of his neck from the displeasure of the stiffness. "Just doing what we can to help." Howie replied. "D, this is him." Brian said all of a sudden. Howie frowned. "I don't get you." "This is him, this is Nick Carter, the guy I told you about." Brian explained. "Oh." Howie's eyes widened in excitement, finally getting to meet the guy that Brian had praised a lot. Then the excitement changed to that of sorrow, finally realizing that he was here because of Darla. Poor boy. "I've heard a lot about you." Howie smiled, shaking his hand. "Oh really? Don't get offended coz I never heard him talk about you, but that's just because he disappeared one day and we never talk again." Nick joked. "Yeah, and he could have the decency to mail you a letter huh?" Howie chuckled. "I'd rather email but since we're not allowed to use one…" Brian added. Nick shook his head, maybe, the day wouldn't be as difficult. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "How come Brian couldn't come with us?" Nick asked as he followed Howie down to the kitchen. He saw a few other boys with identical white scrubs walking down the same path. They all looked the same, Nick thought-pale and very sick. "He has his session today, he can't eat before the session." Howie replied as he eyed the people. "Oh." Nick replied, unsure of what to say next. He needed more than that, he was still in the dark. He wasn't told about going for 'sessions' before. "Look, I know you're still confused. But I promise I'll tell you everything after breakfast okay?" Howie said when he realized he had been ignoring his new friend. "It's okay. You seemed distracted, why?" Nick asked. "What? No…I'm just looking for a friend, he's been sick for the past few days, I just wanna know how he's doing." Howie explained. Nick just nodded. They arrived at the kitchen area, about a dozen rows of long tables stretched in the room, each table could accommodate about fourteen boys. Howie motioned him to the one right at the back and he sat next to him. "Now we wait until they serve us." Howie informed and Nick once again just nodded his head. At least, they were served and not made to line up a long queue to get their food. He doubt he would be able to stand that long. Soon the seat next to him was quickly occupied and by seconds, the table was filled. Everyone was either talking to each other or withdrew into their own little world. The boy next to him was amazingly bubbly. "Hey, you're the new kid right?" He was spotted with the same messy bangs as him only that his hair was almost red. His eyes were of grayish green and his skin was definitely paler than his. "I guess so." Nick replied, smiling a bit, remembering his mother's advice about how the first impression mattered the most. "I'm Brad Pitt." Nick took his offer for a handshake. "You wish Brad." Howie scoffed as he shook his head. "Hey, he was taking my bait!" Brad pouted. "That's just coz he thought you're crazy." Howie smirked. "This, Nick, is Bradon Warsley. Never, and I mean NEVER take him seriously." "Nick Carter." Nick introduced himself. The smile on Bradon's face disappeared. "THE Nick Carter? The one Brian had been talking about?" Bradon exclaimed. "Seems like I'm very well known in here." Nick joked. "Yeah well, Brian said you could take any of us in bball." "Brian ain't lying." Nick giggled. "We'll see about that Carter, we should have a game one day." Bradon said seriously. "Yeah, you wish Bradon." Howie rolled his eyes. Nick had wanted to ask why was that so farfetched but decided not to when a boy slumped down facing Howie. He was about as tall as Nick and had dark crew cut hair. His features were dark, well shaped arched eyebrows shielding deep ocean blue eyes and cheeks that blushed above pale skin. Nick figured that he was handsome before Darla took him in. "Hey, I almost give up on you." Howie said to the boy cheerfully. Nick figured he was the friend he had been looking for. The boy looked up to meet Howie's and then to him. "Is he the new guy?" He asked. "Yeap. Nick, this is Mark. Mark, Nick." Exchange of nods followed. "Do you have a room yet? I could use a roommate right about now." Mark asked out of the blue. Howie was puzzled. Mark already had one. "Markus, you know Shane is gonna be so mad at you if he heard that." Howie chuckled. "Yeah man, he's gonna be so hurt that you wanna kick him out." Bradon added. "How is he anyway? Still sick?" Howie asked. Nick listened to the conversation attentively. So the sick friend was called Shane. "No…he's just tired of me I guess." Mark replied, still staring down at the table. Howie wanted to ask more when the familiar ringing of the bell rung through the room. Kevin was standing in the middle of the room, seeking attention from them. The buzz quieted down and then total silence. Nick searched for the sound of the bell and found Kevin. He was awed by the sudden deafening silence. Everyone seemed to be paying attention to him and Nick figured that would be the best thing to do. "Can I have your attention please?" Kevin cleared his throat. Normally, he would started breakfast with a few jokes and then a prayer but today, he was the bearer of bad news. It wasn't the first time that he had to break the news to them but no matter how many times he had done it, the ache only grew bigger. "Shane Roysten passed away last night in his sleep." Kevin announced grimly. Gasped were heard through out the room. Howie was looking at Mark with questions in his eyes. When realization sets in, it turned into that of sympathy. Mark had his head bowed, the expression on his face hidden, but the wrecked of his body told everything that needed to be said. Nick looked at Howie, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Nick had never met Shane and the sudden pang of pure sorrow and sadness that he was feeling surprised him. Then it dawn upon him. Shane was just one of the hundreds in that room. He was just another casualty to Darla. And now, he had paid his sentence and death had come for him. Soon, it would be another one of them. Different boy, different name, but of the same fate. Kevin waited patiently for the crowd to settle down once again before continuing. It pained to see them cry. The group that he was in charged of was not younger than sixteen and not older than 24, and yet, they had cried so openly for the lost of this boy whom they had considered a brother. "As you all know he had been sick for quite some time now…the outcome is inevitable…but Shane had left peacefully in his sleep. He is no longer hurting." Mark was in a wreck. His cries were silent and lonely and Howie got up and squeezed to the little space next to him and pulled him in a hug. It helped. Mark felt safe once more. He had woken up at one in the morning last night to remind his room mate to have his medication but he never woke up. His pale face felt cold to the touch. It had taken him fifteen minutes to realize that his friend was dead and that he needed to alert one of the volunteers. They had taken them away immediately and was to never be heard of again. No service for this young man. No proper burial. No final goodbye. The silent, lonely cries now turned one of true desperation and lost. His wailings could be heard across the room. That one voice of pure sorrow was enough to make everyone else in that room to shed their tears. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ And so that was how I started my first morning. Like Bradon had told me later that day, the Home was where 'one comes in and another goes out'. That day, I came into their life and was accepted into the brotherhood, while Shane Roysten left only his friendship behind and never to return. ‘Truth’ Things were bad back in our room. Howie was too busy mourning for his friend and I was left confused. When things hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up, right? Well, that day, I found out that there was no bottom to hit. What we suffer just goes on. We were at the edge of the cliff and a hand pushed us down and we fall, and fall, and fall. ~*~*~*~*~*~ Kevin entered the examination room and as expected, found Brian struggling to put his clothes back on. The 'session' had been tough on him lately. Sometimes he wondered why he had even bothered to be there and witnessed unjust. It started out as volunteering, helping the sick and giving back something worthy to the public. Besides, life wasn't a bed of roses for him out there. There was no one to call family and the house that used to sheltered him was taken away from him, leaving him homeless. At least at the Home, he had a roof over his head. Perhaps, if things didn't get so complicated, he could just close both eyes and ignore the sufferings and just do what he was suppose to do there. But who said Life was ever fair? He had to fall in love. And she had Darla. "What did he do today?" Kevin asked as he distanced himself from Brian to give the young man some privacy. "Same stuffs." Brian whispered faintly. "It won't be long B, I will get to the bottom of this." Kevin replied, disappointed that he couldn't do much for the boys under his care. "So you said." Brian replied coldly. He was tired. After the pain he had went through that morning, he doubted if Kevin would ever get to the bottom of anything. "You don't trust me?" Kevin asked, hurt. "Let's just face it Kevin, we're going to die. There's nothing you can do to change that." Brian replied. "That doesn't mean they can treat you like this! They are watching my every move B, I can't risk it right now. I will have to come up with something tight." Kevin explained, wishing that he could pour out everything right then and there. Brian sighed. He wished he could believe the man. But reality was something that kept him grounded. Kevin had been like God's sent to ease their problem and brought a new ray of light in times when all they ever think of was death. However lately, those hope that he had clung to for so long seemed to fade. You don't have to risk anything Kev. You don't have to do anything." "You know I do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Howie had been staring out of the window for almost an hour and Nick was getting restless. He doesn't know what to do or what could have been done to comfort the young man. He wished for Brian to come back soon, maybe he knew what to do. The door swung open minutes later, Brian entered with Kevin and as expected, Brian looked as sick as Howie had been the previous day. Nick shuddered at the thoughts that his turn would come soon. Brian immediately made his way to Howie. Kevin had explained to him of Shane's death as they walked back to the room and Brian knew how close Howie was to him. They had been neighbors since they were kids and after what happened to his family, Shane was the only link to his childhood left. Now, he was gone too. Without saying a word, he rested his hand on his shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. Howie turned to meet his gaze, eyes swollen and red met the dazed blue ones. "At least, he's free from torture now right?" Howie asked, as if to console himself. "The lucky bastard." Brian joked. Howie smiled. Kevin went over to Nick who was sitting on his bed, looking lost and confused. The poor boy, Kevin thought. He hadn't found time to explain everything clearly to him. The Management at the Home had made sure that he was occupied with other areas of his job to prevent him from getting acquainted with him. But Kevin was unfazed by it, he knew somehow, that he could get through the young man and get him on his side. "Are you okay Nick?" Kevin asked, sitting at the edge of the bed. His thoughts interrupted, he blinked and looked at Kevin. Recalling the conversation he overhead between Brian and Howie, he made it a point to remember to ask him about Kristin when the time was right. Somehow, there was something that Kevin was hiding. "Hmm?" "Are you okay? You seemed.spaced out." Kevin smiled. "Just thinking." Nick replied short, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. He hadn't had much for breakfast, probably to uncomfortable to feel an appetite when everyone else was mourning. "I know it's kinda confusing right now, but I will explain to you what you need to know okay?" "Can you tell me now? I really need some answers." Nick asked as his fingers went up to the temple and subconsciously massaging it. "Are you getting the headaches?" Kevin asked, concerned. He noticed that some of the color on the young man's face had gone. He was slowly but surely turning like everyone else in the Home, pale and deathly. "Yeah." Nick replied, brushing it off as nothing serious. "Well Nick.what I am about to tell you might sound.shocking.and you might not believe me.but I tell the truth and I mean no harm." Kevin started, unsure of where to start. "Ever wonder why my mom never come for a visit?" Brian asked as he and Howie approached his bed. Nick just looked at him expectantly for an answer. "No one ever gets visit here Nick. No one." Howie said, his eyes bore sadness and yet Nick could detect a hint of frustration in it. "What do you mean?" Nick asked, already feeling like as if his head was about to explode. How could his parents not visit? He needs them so much. "Nick, what the brochures said, the ones I gave you in the van yesterday.they are true.but what people don't know is, there are two such Homes like this one. Both look the exact replica of the other. You can't tell which is which basically." Kevin explained. "You point being?" Nick asked. "One of the Home is at the other end of the town, up North. Over there, patients are treated with kindness, they get to go out in the courtyard and play a game of bball or two. They get to watch tv, hang around with other patients.basically, living as normal as they can be.friends, relatives, families, come for visit every other weekend." Kevin continued. "How come we get no visits here?" Nick asked. "Because, this Home.prison.is a cover up. To everyone else out there, this place never exist. There is only one Home for Darla and it's not here." Brian replied grimly. "What are you talking about? I don't understand. What the hell is this place then?" Nick asked, already feeling the throbbing of the headache getting worst. "When they found out we have Darla, they did some tests and they rate your chances of survival. The not so lucky ones will be sent here.made into lab rats.guinea pigs.whichever you want to be called.and for the sake of all mankind, they try to find a cure by studying us. That's what the sessions are for." Howie replied. Nick shook his head, willing for the nausea to disappear. "You're kidding right? What is this? Some fucked up Disturbing Behavior re-enactment?" "I know it's hard for you to accept this Nick.but it's the truth.I've been trying to expose them for the longest time but I think they know I am up to something. They watch everywhere I go, who I talked to.I was almost caught once and I can't risk it again. But I will get them exposed." Kevin declared, his thoughts already on Kristin. "How.how did you know about this other Home?" Nick asked, still unconvinced. "They made me go there once by mistake and I found out the truth. The made me sworn to secrecy or they will kill me. You know I'd rather they kill me than living in this lie but I figured, if I stay alive, I could end this once and for all." "Why can't you go to the police?" Nick asked, unsure of what to expect. In his head, he kept telling himself that he was dreaming, that he would wake up and everything would be normal as normal could be in that Home. "They have the Mayor supporting this, that's how high this syndicate is. They have all the rich people to fund the experiments. You trust no one but the people of this town and they are whom we have to expose this to. But like I've said, they are watching me, I can't do this as open as I damn well pleased." Kevin explained, his voice turned hard and desperate. "Who else know about this?" Nick asked. "Only those I trust to keep this a secret. You will know them as you get along. I figured, since Brian knows you so well, that we let you in on this." "This can't be happening to me." Nick cried, head hung low, his fingers dug deep on his scalp. The door swung open suddenly but Nick didn't bother to look up and see who it was. He felt Brian and Howie moving away to their own beds and Kevin stood up. "What are you doing here Kevin?" "He's not doing well, I came in to take a look." Kevin replied casually. "Next time, just call the nurse, they know what they're doing." "I was about to. Why are you here anyway?" "I'm taking Nick Carter. The session will begin this afternoon." Nick looked up for the first time. The man was dressed as a doctor with his white long jacket and stethoscope hung across his shoulders. The name tag spelt "Dr. Kroeger". "What? He can't have it today Charles, he's sick!" Kevin protested. "They're all sick Kevin, that's why they're here in the first place." Dr. Kroeger replied. "Give the guy a break Charles, he's new and it's only his first day today." "Look, you're just a volunteer here, you know nothing about this okay? The session will only help him to live longer. "Please, I really am not feeling well, can I have it another day?" Nick begged. He was afraid. He had seen Howie and Brian went through the 'session' and he knew that it wouldn't be pleasant. And he knew, that whatever it was they were going to do to him, it will not make him any better. "It's not my shot Nick, come on, we have to go now." Dr. Kroeger approached the bed and Kevin moved away reluctantly. Brian and Howie looked on helplessly knowing there was no way their new roommate could ever escape. Nick got out of the bed and the wave of nausea hit him like a brick. Before he knew what was happening, he felt Kevin's strong arms pulling him up. Everything else went in a blur. The next thing he knew, he was in the examination room and Kevin had left him there to face the nightmare. ~*~*~*~*~*~ A tight slap landed on his face without warning and in his daze, landed on the cold floor with only his boxers on. They had made him stripped off his clothes for a full body examination. "Let that be a reminder that no one here, and I mean NO ONE go against the rules of this Home. When we say you have a session, you damn fucking go for it. You DO NOT give some lame excuses of being sick, understand!" Dr. Kroeger yelled, wagging his finger in his face. Nick nodded in fear. His head throbbing even harder now after the hit. He felt the tears coming but forced them in. God knows what will happen if he started crying. "Get him started." Dr. Kroeger ordered his two assistants. Both men literally picked him up from the ground and lay him on a metal table. Something was stuck to his middle finger and connected to a machine and as soon as it was switched on, it read his heart beat. Different joints of his body was pasted with white circle pads that was linked to what looked like thin wires and they too were connected to a machine. Once everything was done, they left. Dr. Kroeger returned soon after and went over to the machine. "Just breathe as normal and we will get this over and done with in no time." Nick nodded, scared to disagree with the man any more. He saw him turned a button and immediately, he felt small, faint tingling sensation throughout his body. It was almost ticklish and yet it felt static. Nick closed his eyes and tried to breath as calmly as he could. "Good.now we'll get the show on the road." Every few seconds, people passing by the examination room would hear the screaming of a young man getting louder. The screams would turn to desperate pleadings and begging for someone to stop what he was doing. And then, it would turn to soft whimpering and ultimate surrender. If they had heard carefully, the could hear his haggard breathing filling up the entire room, fighting for dear life, wishing not for himself to stop breathing. Unfortunately, no one passing by that room even cared. ~*~*~*~*~ AJ couldn't contain his excitement any longer. Just the sight of the five year old reminded him so much of his purpose being in the Carter's household that Saturday morning. Everyone was hyped, a very contrasting atmosphere than a few days ago. Today they would be reunited, even if it was for a mere hour or so, it would mean everything to see his bestfriend again. After the argument he had with his father, their relationship had turned for the worst. AJ knew that his father was only trying to do what he felt was the best for him but nothing, not even a deadly disease, could separate him from his bestfriend. "What do you have there squirt?" AJ asked as he eyed the young blond from the corner of his eyes while trying his best to braid Angel's hair. Nick had been an expert at doing it and was damn proud of it too. "I got something for Nick." Aaron smiled, hands on his back, hiding something from view. "Oh yeah? Wanna show it to AJ?" He asked, eyes concentrating on the winding braids of hair, careful not to miss a step. "Angel sweetie, could you not move so much? AJ is really bad at this." "Nick do it better!" Angel laughed, shaking her head again, much to AJ's distress. "Nick does it perfect, that's why you can't mess this up for me okay? I don't want to spend my time listening to him bugging me off about it." AJ sighed as he secured the braid with a pink fluffy hair band. Aaron shoved the piece of paper just in time after he was done securing both braids. It was a picture of the Carters with a small blond boy hugging the tall blond one. It was simple, nothing artistic about it, but it caught his breath nevertheless. Will Nick be able to hug the twins ever again? They were the most vulnerable to the disease, he doubt they would even be let in to see him. "It's the best drawing you've done so far! I'm sure Nick is gonna love it." "He can paste it up in his new house." Aaron smiled. A simple line that caught his breath yet again. "This will always be his house Aaron, always." He saw the rim of tears glazing over his eyes and yet the young boy smile. "I know." "Aw, AJ, did you do those braids?" Jane exclaimed as she entered the living room with Bob. Somewhere deep within her, a faint voice was saying 'that could have been Nick' but she brushed it aside. "You think it's good enough? I could do it again-" "It's perfect." Jane cut in, eager to release the young man from the tension. A smile played around the corners of her mouth, somehow AJ being nervous was a rare opportunity not to be missed. "Seriously?" AJ asked, still unconvinced. His eyes studied the dark brown braids in suspicion. "If it makes you feel any better, I do worse than yours." Bob assured as he approached Aaron and ruffled his hair. "That's good enough for me." AJ claimed, sighing a sign of relief. "What have you got there AC?" Bob asked as he took the piece of paper for a better look. "I drew all of us, Nick too." Aaron beamed. Jane looked at the picture and couldn't trust her voice to say anything without quivering. What if the twins were barred from seeing their brother? How would they explain it to them? "It's very nice AC, I'm sure Nick will love it." Bob replied, handing the drawing back to his son. Putting on a smile to hide the bitter taste of sadness away, he quickly shifted his attention to Angel. "And you my little princess, looks lovely this morning. We will have a good time today." Bob exclaimed. "Okay then, since we're all ready to go, I would like to suggest that we have breakfast at Mickey D's before we head there; we still have an hour to waste." AJ declared, looking at them with expectant eyes. "That's a good idea, I just have to grab the keys and we're off." Bob disappeared into the kitchen. The telephone rang as Jane was about to walk out of the house, the twins and AJ had already made their way to the old Honda parked outside. After debating with herself if she should answer it, she let out a tired sigh and reached out for the receiver. "Hello?" "Good morning, can I speak to Jane or Bob Carter please?" "I'm Jane." "Mrs. Carter, I'm Doctor Bernette from the Home for Darla." "Oh yes, how are you Doctor? We are on our way there to see our son." Jane smiled, forgetting that the doctor couldn't see her. "I am fine, thank you for asking. I know you're not due here for another hour or so, but something came up and I need you and your family to come down immediately." "Is something wrong Doctor?" Jane asked, her palms felt clammy and she felt sick all of a sudden. What could be so urgent? Was Nick having difficulties adapting to the home? "Unfortunately, yes. Nick's condition is rapidly getting worse and we're worried for him." Jane's heart almost stop. "What.what could we do to help?" "Just be there for him. That's more than enough." ~*~*~*~*~*~ Well, if you've been paying attention, you know that I didn't die on that examination table. If I had, this video wouldn't be made, you wouldn't have heard my voice and our story might never have been told. If fear is what you're feeling right now, then half of my mission is achieved. Perhaps, you might want to take a quick breather. For I'm afraid, you might be unable to take in what I have in store for you next.

That unsettling feeling he had on the pit of his stomach was back again. The last time he had one of those, he had learnt that his best friend had Darla, only the incurable disease that ends with death. So what could be worst than finding out Nick had Darla? He refused to acknowledge it but he knew at the deepest corner of his mind, a nagging voice kept repeating itself. The worst would be facing Death itself. It had been almost an hour since Bob and Jane had disappeared into the Home, looking for a certain Doctor Bernette. As expected, both Aaron and Angel weren't allowed entrance and AJ had to leave behind and take care of them. A few meters away, a group of teenagers around his age were shooting some balls. He leaned his back against the car and let his thoughts lingered. What would they say to the Twins when they woke up and realized they weren't allowed to see their brother? How does it feel to be forced to live in a Home and cut away from family and friends? How does it feel like to know that your days are numbered? How does it feels like to constantly live in fear, not knowing when Death decides to pay a visit? A sudden shot of pain that ran up his left leg broke him away from his thoughts. He looked down and saw the orange ball spinning next to him. He bent down and picked it up. Ever since Nick left, he had never touched a basketball again. The team not only lost Nick, they lost AJ too. "Sorry about that. Are you okay?" AJ looked up and his heart nearly stopped. He had blonde messy flops that tousled in the warm wind. His eyes piercing blue and that trade sly smile on his face. He thought it was Nick. "It's nothing really, I'm fine. I believe this is yours." AJ smiled, returning the ball. "Yeah.our bearings not that good as it used to be, ya know?" He smiled. "Are you here for a visit?" "Yeah. It's our first time here so we're kinda nervous." AJ replied. "Oh, you're here for Ben?" "Ben? No.I'm here to see Nick, he just came in a week ago." AJ replied. "Nick?" "Yeah. Looks like you actually. Blonde, blue eyed." "What's his last name? Maybe I know him." "Carter." "Carter? And you said he came in a week ago?" "Pretty much, yeah." AJ replied. "But we only had two new comers here and both came in two weeks ago. Tracy James and Ben Anderson." "Oh?" AJ raised his eyebrow. How could that be, he wondered. Before he could ask any further, he saw Jane and Bob coming out of the Home. Jane had to be supported by Bob as she limply walked towards them. Something's just not right and AJ could feel it in every bone of his body. "Oh no." AJ turned towards the boy, he suddenly looked so sad. "Why 'oh no' ?" AJ asked. For the first time, he realized that his face was pale. Could Nick look this sick? "Can I ask you something?" The young man asked. "Sure." AJ replied, although his eyes were still studying at the wrecked figure of Jane and Bob. What was wrong with Nick? "Did you by any chance know the name of the Volunteer who took your friend?" AJ couldn't be bothered about the young man, his mind was too distraught to think. Whatever it was that had shook both Bob and Jane that badly, he knew it would be really bad. "Er.Kevin.I think.Kevin.something." "Kevin Richardson?" "Yeah, that's him. I think." "Then your friend is not here." "What?" AJ turned to look at the young man. Now he could really see how sick the boy look. And he wasn't making sense. "Look him up in the hospital." He smiled and left with the ball. AJ wondered why he had left so sudden but found out that Bob and Jane were already behind him. A whole new world greeted him there. Both Jane and Bob wore matching red, swollen eyes. AJ stared at them expectantly, waiting for them to say something. "Well?" AJ asked. "Oh Alex." AJ's heart stopped beating. They never call him Alex unless it was bad news. None offered more than that. They started crying again. "What's wrong? Tell me!" AJ begged. Bob revealed the urn that he had been hiding behind his jacket. He held it close to his chest and started hugging Jane even tighter. AJ stared at the urn and shook his head. It couldn't be happening. His worst nightmare had just turned true. "Oh God no." - Kevin almost flew up the winding stairs, careful not to hit anyone on his path and rushed straight to the first room on the third floor. The door was slightly ajar and from where he was standing, he could hear someone vomiting faintly. He pushed the door opened and let himself in. "I got here as fast as I could, what happened?" Kevin asked as he saw Howie standing at the entrance of the small shower room. "We don't know what to do." Howie stammered, pointing towards the room. Kevin took a peek inside and saw Nick lying on his side on the cold floor, his body was shivering and the empowering smell of bile filled his nostrils. His head was propped up on Brian's knees, who was pulling back whatever strands of hair off his face, wiping the cold sweat in the process. Brian knew how much it had hurt him when he had his first ever session. He had came back to his room throwing up most of the time and feeling very sick. And after being in there for almost two years, he had never seen anyone suffering as much as Nick. This had him and Howie went into panic attack. They had simply threw him into the room and Nick had pulled himself up and went straight to the shower room. He was throwing up wildly and as expected, he and Howie had rushed by his side, giving him the support that he needed. But Nick never get better. He kept throwing up even when there was nothing to throw. And then came the shock. His nose bled. That had never happened to him or Howie. And from what they had heard from friends on their floor, none had ever complained of a nose bled. It wasn't one of the side effects. When he had collapsed on the ground, Nick wouldn't let anyone touch him. When Brian tried to move him away to a better ventilated area of the room, he had screamed and begged him to stop. He was hurting and Brian doesn't understand where the pain had came from. Howie was too scared to do anything. He had watched too many of his friends died because of Darla. Although he liked Nick, he had not yet had the opportunity to get really close to him and he figured that would be the best way. He figured if he knew little about him, it doesn't have to ached so much when he died. Although he'd rather prefer to die himself than watch anybody else die. Kevin went into the cramped shower room and saw for the first time the trail of blood on the floor. "He's bleeding!" "His nose bled and we can't stop it since he didn't let us touch him." Brian replied. Kevin shook his head and placed his hand on Nick's shoulder and attempted to pull him back so that he would lye on his back. But Nick flinched at the touch and groaned loudly. Nick was indeed in pain. "What did they do to you Nick?" Kevin whispered as he carefully inspected his face. The right side of his face was swollen and slightly bruised. He accidentally touched the back of his shoulder and he felt Nick flinched. "It hurts when I touched you?" Kevin asked. Nick nodded weakly. "I have to see what it is that's hurting you. Try not to scream okay? I can't afford to have the doctor find me here." Nick nodded. He untie the draw strings that held the hospital gown together. Normally, they would let the boys change into their own clothes first before leaving the session. Kevin bet they were getting tired waiting for Nick to get dressed. As soon as the garment was opened, he saw patches of red circles on different parts of his body. In the middle of the patches the red was darker and he could see the glint of fresh blood that was beginning to ooze out of it. "Oh God! What is that?" Brian asked. "I've never had those!" Howie gasped. "What did they do to you? This is horrible!" Brian fumed. Kevin shook his head. They had began to treat them like animals. How much longer could they suffer like that? He shuddered at the thoughts of what they had done to Kristin. What they had done to female patients living on the other wing of the Home. "Nick, I have to carry you back to your bed. This place is not a good place for you to sleep. Can you bear with it for a while?" Kevin asked. Nick bit his lips and nodded in agreement. Brian watched as Kevin lifted his friend up and instantly, the young man started pleading to be put down. He couldn't watch the scene any longer. Every part of his body was telling him to run away, to get out of the room and shut the pain behind. But he knew there was nowhere to go out of that room. Nothing good ever awaits for him out there. This room had been his prison. Yet this room had also been his only solace. "Please, put me down! I will walk to bed, please, just put me down!" "You can't even stand up on your own Nick. I'm sorry, I can't put you down." Kevin replied calmly as he fastened his pace towards his bed. Howie shut whatever emotions he had left opened. His eyes locked on a branch of leaves out of the window. Like a finger tapping on glass, telling him to jump off and follow it to freedom. Maybe, someday, when he couldn't take any of it anymore, he would. But not just yet. He turned to look at the figure lying on the bed now. He was so helpless. The skin around his eyes were swollen and flushed. His lips dry and parched. The blonde flocks now limped and soaked in his sweat. His body showed signs of shivers, almost lifeless. All these he swallowed in without having to feel anything. His emotions were securely sealed. He watched as Kevin attempted to undress him and the shock reaction he saw on both his face and Brian's. He saw it too but his face was expressionless. He felt the stake going for his heart but he broke it in two before it managed to pierced right through. Nick had patches of red circles on his entire body like the ones they saw on his back earlier on. But Howie couldn't cry or try to understand his pain. He froze himself off emotions and retreated from everything else. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "How could they burn his body without your consent!" AJ cried at Jane and Bob. The service for Nick Carter's funeral ended five hours ago. It had been two days since their trip to the Home. Two days since AJ found out that his best friend had died. Jane and Bob had explained to him time and again what was told to them but none of it seemed to convince the young rebellion. "AC, are you awake?" Aaron squinted his eyes and found a pair of large brown eyes staring back at him. He had tried his best to pretend to be asleep because his dad had told him that he needed Angel to have some rest. He assumed he had done a bad job at pretending. "Go to sleep Angie." Aaron whispered as he closed his eyes again. "I can't." Angel replied as she moved her body closer to her twin. She felt cold all of a sudden. Like as if she was alone, too free for a target to cause harm. She felt insecure and scared but being only five, she couldn't understand any of the emotions she was feeling. "Close your eyes and sleep." Aaron replied, sounding a bit irritated. "AC?" "Hmm." "Is Nicky really dead?" Aaron's eyes shot open at the mention of Nick. His eyes welled up in tears and soon Angel's features were just blurry images in his eyes. "I.I think so." Aaron quivered. "How could you be so sure?" Angel asked calmly. "Because Mom and Dad said so. Because we just buried him today." Aaron cried. Angel nodded her head. Of course Nick was dead. Dad had explained to them time and again. How Nick was so sick and couldn't get better as they had expected. Dad said he had sleep and just never wakes up anymore. Dad said Nick is in heaven, waiting for all of them. Dad said they will all meet him again one day. Angel wanted that one day to be that day. She missed him so much. "AC?" "Yeah." "Who's going to tie my hair up when mom's busy?" "I could learn.I want to be like Nick." Aaron smiled. Angel giggled. "Yeah.and I will learn how to play basketball with you." "That would be great. I'm sure Nick will help us." Aaron smiled. Angel nodded her head and closed her eyes. Aaron watched as her sister drifted into a peaceful sleep. Aaron turned to look at the picture of Nick and him together on the bedside table. They could never have one of those days again. Never would they run in the park and just fool around. Never would they have their big brother taking them to the fair and show them around when everyone else his age would be embarrass to be seen with their baby brother or sister. Nick had been one of a kind. Aaron wondered if he could give all that to his sister. "I could try Nicky.I could be a good brother to Angel. But who's gonna be my big brother?" Aaron whispered. Nobody answered. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "AJ please, don't make it any harder on us. You have to let go." Jane cried as she tried to calm the young man down. "Let go of what? Those ashes you had kept stored in some mortuary?" AJ asked. "How could I let go when they don't even let us say goodbye?" It was heartbreaking. Jane and Bob had entered the Home with spirits so high. That day, they will be reunited again with their son. The son who will flourish the Carter's name. The son will see through College and led a good life. A son whom they could be proud of. All those dreams shattered when they were told that their son's condition had gone from bad to worst in a matter of two hours. That he had breathed his last while they were on their way to see him. The doctor said that Nick had told them that he couldn't wait any longer. That it was hurting him so much to hold on. He told them to tell his parents and family how much he loved them and appreciate everything they had given him. Their son had died in the arms of strangers. In a stranger's bed, in a stranger's room, in a strange place he couldn't quite call home. Was he happy while it had last or was he in constant pain ever since they took him there? Was he suffering too much? Was he unhappy and depressed at being so lonely that had drove the disease to work rapidly against his body? They would never know. And what frustrated them was for the fact that they had incinerated his body without their consent. That their reason being such a diseased corpse should not be left unattended for long. That it was risky to the health of everyone else if he were to start to decay. She couldn't see her baby's face for the last time. She couldn't run her fingers through his hair and whispers him comforts in times when he was in pain. Pain. How her baby had battled and suffered the pain of Darla alone that Home. He had held on to his least breath, hoping and waiting to see them for what would be the last time and they were too late. How much had he suffered that he couldn't hold on a little bit longer for their arrival? Sending her son away to the Home was the stupidest decision she had ever made. "Forgive me Nick." Her heart kept crying out over and over again. Now, looking at how angry AJ was, she could only see Nick standing in his place, yelling and pointing his finger towards her, blaming for everything. ~*~*~*~*~*~ By now, you are beginning to despise whoever they are who supported this little propaganda. You wish you could do something but you're helpless. You feel sorry for what they did to me. You feel sorry for the web of lies they spawned for my family and friends. You started asking questions of how this could have go on and you had not known of its existence. Realization doomed upon you that all these time, while you were living your lives like everyone else, where this town seemed to be like any other normal place to call home, that there are others who were being tortured and left to die. You begin to question the people who run this town. The people you trusted upon your safety and well being of your family. And at the end of the day, only one thing remained. Whatever it was that had happened and whatever that is now, you felt helpless. What you just saw was just the tiny cracks on the wall, the beginning of how Darla and what these heinous beings had done to me and my family. I have four hundred of such friends battling the same war as I am right now. Thousands more had lost their lives towards something that held no meaning nor purpose to them. And only God knows how many others might fall victim in the future. And let me remind you that this is just something that happened in Ebay Town. The same thing is happening in other towns in this country. If you do the maths, that would be countless of people like me suffering and millions of families had their lives shattered. But that's too big for you to even begin to imagine. Let's start small. Let's start with YOU. What would have happen if YOU had Darla? Or your loved one had Darla. Would you still say that I'm starting this small? No. Because as much as it pains you to see others suffering, nothing else could ever shatter your hearts into pieces more than when it hits close to home. For my family, I died. But in the Home where I had learnt to call prison, death was something that was zooming in closer everyday.

To the rest of the world, we were long dead. Buried deep six feet under, nothing was left except perhaps framed pictures of us hanging on the walls of our houses. Perhaps the pictures in itself stirred distant memories that no one could quite reach anymore. Who knows? In our world, where we were forced to live in, the struggle continue. For me, it was the beginning to understand my purpose of being there in the first place. The struggle of learning the secrets and keeping them, hoping that one day, I could break it to the world. Hoping that one day, to the rest of the world, I would live again. ---------- The Black Mustang glided through the deserted road early dawn, sending dead leaves that had carpeted the molten mortar road to disperse itself once again. The smoothness of the engine making it impossible to leave any skid marks on the road as the tires burnt under pressure and gravity. The young man behind the wheel not giving a second thought about how dangerously fast he was going, stepped on the gas; his thoughts far from concentrating on the road. Eyes hidden behind dark shades, he had opted to pull up all windows and let himself suffocate in the coldness of the air-con instead. The stereo was uncharacteristically silent that morning. He found it pointless to blare the system up when he found no joy in it. He used to scream along to the music and made fun of himself but that was when he could share it with his best friend. What's the use in doing that alone? He jerked a little, realizing that the ringing of the car phone had startled him back to reality. Shaking his head to brush off the sudden wave of dizziness, he clicked the 'answer' button. "Talk." He said. "Mc Lean, you drive like a pussy." Automatically, his eyes went up to the rearview mirror and as expected, he saw a white Mercedes Benz driving not far behind. "Tell me then Timberfake, what the fuck are you doing back there?" He asked sarcastically. "Coz I don't wanna shock you and get you in an accident if I just speed ya know? And AJ, get the name right for once will ya? It's getting old." "I really wanna call you Timberfag, but that would only insult the gays." "Awww...wassup Bone? You need some chill out session man, Nick's dead doesn't mean you have to act dead too. Honestly man, how long can you keep up this mourning period huh? Sooner or later, you have to drop the act and get on the booze again." He halted the Prowler to a stop immediately and from the view of his mirror, Justin did the same. "Hey Timber, look out your window." He waited till he could see his curly top out the window of the Mercedes and then bringing down the window to his own car, showed him the finger. "Daddy's boy, race me if you're man enough." Not giving the young man any chance, he stepped on the gas pedal and sped away. School had meant nothing to him lately. Everywhere he went, people looked at him in sympathy, some even offering him companion, wanting him out of the dark and embracing life again. But he could never trust anyone like he had trusted Nick. Making up his mind, he took a swerve to the left instead to the right, where Eastbay High School would be. He smiled, knowing that he would not have to face the faceless crowd in school. And a pissed Justin Timberlake for his little stunt earlier. ~*~ His younger twin might not have realize it but he did. It was so obvious and up until then, he still had no clue what had been the cause. He wished he could be as oblivious as Angel was. Mrs. Bently had been called for an immediate meeting and they were left with Miss Casey, who had been so fun as to let them play around instead of making them sit obediently. And as he sat at the furthest corner of the room alone, he watched Angel approached a group of girls with a doll in hand. The moment she had settled within the group, the girls left her. And Angel didn't care, she played by herself, talking to the doll and dressing her up. He too had gathered with the boys right after Miss Casey gave them the green light. They were planning on a game of 'Police and Thief' and suspiciously, he was left out of the game. Then he tried chatting up with one of the boys who was taking a rest and the boy had told him that he wasn't suppose to talk to him. He had wrecked his brain, wondering what he could have possibly do that had gotten them so mad at him and Angel. He couldn't find any. He went up to his sister and sat facing her, trying to read the expression on her face. She seemed fine to him. "Hey," He said, unsure of what to say. Sitting cross-legged, his gaze fixed to the tiled floor. "Hey." Angel replied as she continued brushing the doll's blonde hair. "The boys are ignoring you too huh?" His head shot right up and he met Angel's stare. Unshed tears welled up her brown eyes, threatening to slide its way down her blushed cheeks. Silently, he prayed that he wouldn't crumble in front of her. He had to protect her. "They're being a big jerk. Ignore them." He reasoned, shrugging his shoulders as he did so. Looking at Aaron, Angel couldn't help being reminded of her big brother. Nick always shrug his shoulders when he wasn't certain about something. And as much as she appreciates Aaron trying to put a brave front whenever she was around, she knew that he missed him as much as she was. Often at night, she would wake up and heard him sobbing in his sleep, hugging on to his picture and crying out for their brother. She would lay in her bed, watching in silence as her brother drifted back to sleep. And it hadn't been easy to find their mother, who was normally a very chirpy woman, always gazing into nothingness. Her eyes were always swollen and red and dinner time was a solemn affair. Their father had busied himself with more work and when he was home, he would play with them but often, she felt that he wasn't really there with them. They needed Nick back, and that was something even a five year old knew they could never get. "I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW SELFISH AND THOUGHTLESS YOU PEOPLE ARE!" Aaron jerked, not from the yelling but from the familiar voice that it had came from. "AC." Angel whispered, unable to finish her sentence. Storming in their class was their mother, red faced and obviously furious over something. Mrs Bently followed closely behind, looking lost. Jane found the twins seated near a corner, playing by themselves. Other kids were mingling around together and it ached her heart to see the prejudice her children had to endure. For a split second, she wondered if they even knew what was going on around them. "Come on sweethearts, we're going home right now." She said softly as she picked their bags and reached out her hand for them. Angel took her hand and said nothing. "Aaron, take your sister's hand, we're going home." Jane said calmly as she saw the hurt in his eyes. "Why? School is not even out yet." Aaron asked. "We're not coming here again, I will find you another school okay? There'll be better friends there, I promise." Jane said as she pulled Angel along, ignoring the looks everyone around them were giving. "No one will be your friends. You will kill them." A young boy said suddenly. "I DO NOT!" Aaron yelled, wondering why his friend would say something like that. "You will too. My mom said you would! You and Angel!" A girl shouted. "It's because of my brother, isn't it?" Aaron spat all of a sudden. "He died and you think you will die too if you get near us!" Jane closed her eyes for a moment, willing for herself not to break down. No one ever did tell the twins about Darla or that their brother had died because of it. She wished they didn't have to know. Now, she wasn't entirely sure. "Aaron please, let's go and mummy will buy you an ice-cream." Jane said, her voice already shaky. "I HOPE THAT YOUR BROTHERS DIE TOO! AND YOUR SISTERS! I HOPE YOUR FRIENDS LEAVE YOU LIKE YOU LEAVE US!" Aaron yelled. "AARON, THAT IS ENOUGH!" Jane cried. "Honey, if you love mummy, we will go home now." Aaron wiped the tears that was now trickling down his cheeks furiously and ran out of the classroom. He had held back so much for too long. He was angry at the world for taking his brother away from him and for stripping his family off their happiness. He was angry at himself for not being able to do anything about it. ~*~ Nick woke up to the feeling of something cold and wet on his forehead. Shivering a little, he forced his eyes to open, knowing that he would be greeted to the same dull ceiling. "Hey, you awake man?" Nick found the voice familiar but he knew it didn't belong to neither Howie nor Brian. He adjusted to the scene ahead of him until the dizziness dissolved to the back of his head. Focusing on the figure standing next to his bed, he saw Mark. "Hi." Nick pulled himself up from the bed with startled gasps as the pain shot fresh waves of what felt like needle pricks to his body. "Here, let me take that for you." Mark reached out to something on his forehead and Nick found out the cold feeling he had felt earlier on was the wet cloth. He decided he must have had a temperature. "I wish I could do something to help but Howie warned me that I will only hurt you more if I touch you." Mark said as he cautiously studied every movement he made. "Thanks.I'm okay though." Nick assured him. Mark smiled and nodded his head and slumped tiredly on the edge of the empty bed next to him. "I...er...I'm sorry about your friend Shane. I didn't get to tell you that earlier." Nick offered, unsure of what to do. "Thanks... I guess it was for the best though.he was suffering too much." Mark replied softly. As if realizing that he was about to go down that road again, he shook his head and smiled. "So, I heard what they did to you. I bet it's a new thing they're trying out." Nick cringed at the thought. He hated to relive what he had gone through and the conversation was making him nervous all over again. A voice in his head kept telling him that it would happen again, soon. Over and over and over. "How long have you been in here Mark?" Nick asked as he absent-mindedly touched one of the dried wounds on his arm. "Three." "Years?" Nick gasped, his eyes shot back to the pale looking young man whom Nick considered was once full of color and vibrant. Just like he used to be. "More so. I'm not quite sure though, we don't have leisure such as calendars here." Mark replied casually. Nick looked around the room, adjusting his sleepy eyes to the surrounding, trying to kick the drowsiness away. Brian's bed was empty while a mound on the next bed suspiciously looked like Howie. He was covered under the blanket, only the mess of curly, dark locks could be seen. "Did your family know you're still alive?" Nick asked. "I mean, they never get to visit right? What do they tell your family anyway?" "I don't think I'm in the position to answer that right now. We're having what I'd like to call our own secret meeting tonight in my room, Kevin will be there, he will answer all your questions." Mark replied softly, careful not to let anyone hear their conversation. He knew very well that walls have ears in that home. "They told me stuffs about this place too. I.I still can't believe it's all happening though. I feel so helpless." Nick sighed. In his frustration, he peeled one of the dried wounds on his arm and a tiny dot of fresh blood resurfaced. "I'm in here for years now Nick, and I'm still helpless. Howie said it will go away, that we get detached from our emotions and just live out our days till we...die...but I'm still feeling things. Sometimes I truly believe that I've gone crazy." "Howie said that? He seemed detached..." "Before he gets misunderstood, you need to know something about Howie." Mark smiled as he climbed out of the bed and sat on the chair next to Nick's bed. He had not had any session for the past five days and walking had been easy again. "About Howie?" Nick asked, confused. Mark nodded. "When I came here, he and Shane and er, Brad, you met him in cafeteria." "Brad Pitt?" Nick smirked. "Yeap, that one," Mark giggled. "They welcomed me to their little 'circle'. We became very close friends, helping each other out you know.and one night, while I was really, really sick after my session, I woke up and found him sitting on the chair next to my bed, taking care of me. Shane was already asleep and he decided to open up to me for the first time." Nick shifted on his bed, trying to find that perfect position so that it wouldn't hurt so much. After a number of tries, he decided that there would be no comfort as long as he was in that place. "He told me he had a brother and three sisters and that they were all sent to this Home. Can you even begin to imagine that? All of them sent here to suffer and die? I can't even begin to understand how his parents must have felt to loose all their children in a single day. He didn't know what happened to his parents after that coz they weren't allowed to see them either. God knows what they had told them." Mark sighed heavily as his firm gaze was set on a tiny hairline crack on the wall next to Nick. Thoughts of his own family was haunting him. How he had missed them all. Three years was a long time. Three years he had been dead to them. "Six months after they were brought here, his brother died. And to make things worse, his first sister died two months after that. A week later his second sister followed. I have to tell you first that the girls are separated from the boys and he was never allowed to see them but through Kevin, he learnt of his sisters plights." Nick was close to tears. His thoughts were of the twins. Will they torture young kids like them too? His eyes wandered to the hidden figure on the bed opposite him. Now, he had looked at Howie differently. He found inspiration in the young man. He doubt he could survive what Howie had went through. "Please tell me his third sister is still alive." Nick said, almost begging. "Well, after that, a month later, he received news from Kevin that his parents died from a car crash. Pollyanna, that's his youngest sister, died a week later. He said she was too distraught by their deaths that her health deteriorate and one day, she just didn't wake up. All these happened in a year Nick, so you gotta understand his position." "God...I'm not even sure if I could be as strong as him if it were me." Nick cried. It was too much for him, Howie's history only made him yearn for his own family more. "If you think that's the last, think again. His cousin died just two weeks before you came." Mark replied. "Did...did his cousin used to occupy this bed?" Nick asked. "Oh no...Kristin would be at the girls' wing section." Mark replied. "Kristin? Is she...er...somehow related to Kevin?" Nick asked. "Where did you hear that?" Mark smiled. Nick shrugged. "Not many knew about this, but Kevin was in love with her. So you understand now why he's so into this plan to tell the whole world about us." Nick nodded his head. Perhaps, he shouldn't have known about all these. It only made him feel a million time worst than he already was. "Hey, don't dwell too much into it okay? The more you think about it, the easier you'll loose control of yourself." "How can I not?" Nick sighed. "I'm not sure if we should count ourselves lucky or not, coz we got Kevin. You know how he is planning to bring this whole secret open to the public right? Well...tonight you're gonna find out just who are your friends and who are your enemies in here. That way, you can prevent yourself from getting into trouble. We know what is happening in here Nick, but most the guys here, they're totally in the dark. They keep asking themselves why their parents didn't come and visit and why they were tortured so much. We know. And I don't know if that's a good thing or not. But at least we have a purpose to hold on you know...if this thing do get known to the public, we could save ourselves. Hey, we could see our family again, who knows? But for now, you have to be strong. Not just for yourself, but to the guys around you. You lift up each others spirits, that's how we survive here. Brian's having his session right now, he will need all your support when he gets back. I know you're not better off yourself but you stay strong for your brothers and they will do the same to you." Mark said. He watched as the blonde tried to take all the information in and decided that he needed his space to think about it. He stood up and started for the door. "I'm going back to my room now, just take it easy okay? You'll be alright, you have these guys." Nick looked up at Mark, who was already standing in front of the door. "How about you Mark? Who keeps you up when you get back to your room?" Nick asked, knowing that after Shane's death, he was left alone in the room. How could someone sleep in the dark in a room not their own, accompanied with nothing but their own disturbed thoughts? "There'll always be new ones coming in Nick. They never stops." ------------- I hope you understand Howie more now. For he was one of the reasons why I live to tell this tale today. When I first met him, he was one of the many kids who wanted nothing more but to die. And ironically, it was in him that I find strength to go on. I'm not expecting you to cry for what fate had done to him and his family. Just feel. For I need you to get in touch with your emotions before I could share with you the secret that I've been dying to tell the world.

If you were diagnosed with Darla and you were still under the care of your parents, they would be informed by your doctor that they had two choices. One, was to take care of you by themselves and two, was to send you to the Darla Home. And it doesn't matter which choice your parents made, because at the end of the day, they would end up saying goodbye to you as you reluctantly stepped into the white van and head for the Home. It if wasn't for the worry of having your siblings' health at risk with you around, it would always be someone. A neighbour, a cousin, a friend. In the end, you were the one they had to part with. Now if you were diagnosed with a higher chances of surviving this illness, the ride on the white van would take you up north, where stood proudly on Nothern Ebay Hill, the Darla Home. The kids you would find there were mostly your age, for they housed you according to your age difference. The kids there had your identical pale face, your slow struts and the constant coughs, but just like you, their laughter reached their eyes. Because in a way or another, you will learn to accept that you could possibly die from the illness but you had friends and were allowed to do absolutely anything that you wanted to. You would wait in anticipation for the weekends because those were the days where your family, friends and relatives could come for visits. They would cook your favorite dish and you would share it with your friends and it would be like one huge picnic outdoor, under the smiling sun. Never mind if the field were surrounded by fences with barbed wires on top. Everyday, you would be able to do your favorite activities. They even had entertainers up to the Home and entertained you with their acts or music. If you were lucky enough, reporters would be there first hand to catch the artists in action and you might just have your picture taken with your favorite idol as he signed your CD collection. Why, you could even surf the internet and found these pictures somewhere. These celebrities would be touched by what they saw and would donate a large sum of money for your Home, where you were promised better accommodities and the high possiblity for a cure. Not all was lost and the hope for some genius to find that cure and make you better again never fade away. For someone who was terminally ill, life was perfect as perfect as it was allowed to be for you. However, if you were diagnosed with Darla and your immune system weren't strong enough to fight even the smallest of bug, you will find yourself taking a drive to the Darla Home down South. Your parents would be assured of your safety, brochures would be given out so as to let them understand more of what you, their child, would be going through at the Home. Your parents would be fed with promises of better living arrangements and complete health care for you. They could see from the brochures, how huge and welcoming the Darla Home was. They too, were promised of better chances of cure thanks to modern science. Faces of the rich and famous could be seen in these brochures, quoting them for their support in finding the cure. Meanwhile, you would be on your way to the Home no one knew or spoke about before. The Home down South where once you stepped inside, no doctors would welcome you and explained to you about everything that was expected of you when you joined them. You would notice immediately that none of the elevators worked. The sick would have to climb the stairs and you could hear no laughter, except the heavy silence that hung around the corridors to your assigned room. You found yourself roomed with people whom as you began to notice as the days went by, looked like a walking corpse. Soon, you felt like one too. And then you learned of the sessions and how cruel life in there would be. You would be told that your parents would not be visiting. It doesn't matter what the reasons were, you will never see or heard of them again. They, would be told of your untimely death and soon, for everyone else outside this Home would come to terms and accept the fact that you were dead, just another victim to Darla. If you were taken under the care of a volunteer who went by the name Kevin Richardson, and you trusted your life upon him, you would be let in to this sinful, deep truth of what went on in this Southern Darla Home only to learn that this very truth was to be kept secret. He and those who kept this huge secret would tell you of how they had been secretly, gathering information to find out the mastermind behind this propaganda. You will learn that the very same group of people you used to put your trust in to run the town was the same group of people who were killing you. You would feel lost in the beginning, wondering if these friends of yours were thinking straight or if they were serious about it. You knew that everything would be cleared once you learn of how they had decided to go about revealing this ugly truth, but for now you were feeling confused. Right now, you would be in my shoes. *~* Back in the safety of their room, he pulled the thinned blanket and tucked them under his chin, taking refuge in whatever comfort he could find there. The warmth was still a chill but it had helped a little. His pale blue eyes were staring ahead into nothingness, the thoughts that were swirling furiously in his throbbing head were anything but the peace he desperately seeked. Howie watched silently from his bed as the hunched figure made his way in the dark. The street light that had invaded through the room cast an eerie shadow on his otherwise white face. It made part of his body bathed in light while the other blended with the dark. As he approached slowly with unbalanced rhythm towards Nick's bed, it felt like as if he was watching a horror flick; The Death approaching it's next destination. He studied Nick's face, unable to read the expression there. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts but somehow, he thought he could see a little confusion and fear drawn somewhere in those eyes. He wondered if his brothers and sisters had looked like that on the very last seconds before they drew their last breaths. But The Death had now sat himself next to Nick on the bed, his face was nothing like he had imagined Death should be. In fact he had readily carved a smile for the blonde, his face a matching pale of his own. He knew it was Brian but a part of him was wishing that it had been The Death and he had made a wrong stop. He should be in the room looking for him instead. How he longed for Death to come for him. The things he would do to see that happen. Brian placed his left palm on Nick's forehead and tried to figure out if he was sick. Those things that they had revealed to him that night in Mark's room was too much for him to swallow. He had warned the young man of the consequences of knowing the truth but he had kept assuring him that he would be all right. Looking at him now, he knew he shouldn't have believed Nick. "Your forehead's too cold Nick, are you okay?" Nick blinked once and turned to face his friend. Brian looked much paler than him and Howie combined. He learnt that sessions do that. He raised his right hand and placing it on top of Brian's hand that was still on his forehead, pulled it away and held it in his grasp. "I think your hand is too warm. Are you sick Brian?" Brian swallowed the lump that had been growing like a malign tumor at the back of his throat. Session had been hard on him lately. He was expecting to get the same 'treatment' as Nick but was surprised that it was the same routine. But having thought that, it wasn't any easy for him. As expected, they had increased the dosage of whatever it was they had injected in him and then it was hell from there. They made him run on a treadmill that was going too fast for him and if they weren't satisfied with whatever it was they were reading on the monitor, he would be push to do more. After what felt like hours, he was freed from the treadmill and the effect of the poison they had injected him with earlier would surface. With cramps invading his entire body it was difficult for him to move and his torturer -the term he had personally given to the doctor since he felt he wasn't qualified to be helping people- had innocently told him that it was all in the name of finding a cure. It nauseate him just thinking about it. Vomiting had been a norm lately and through the pain and suffering, he had took it all in silent. And he wasn't oblivious to the fact that walking was a chore for him lately. His only wish was to die before he was rendered helpless in a wheelchair or worst, lost his sights and just lay in bed. His biggest fear was to finally find himself actually welcoming Death in warm embrace. And yet, he wasn't complaining. No one had ever heard Brian complained. "I think you're the one who should take it light Brian." Nick said as he pushed himself up to a sitting position and heavily rested his back against the hard steels of the headboard. Nick was beginning to worry about his friend. He was showing signs of fatigue. He wondered if that was normal too. Brian shifted uneasily at the edge of the bed, Nick had been right. He looked up to meet the gaze of his friend and even in the dark he couldn't have mistaken the pain he saw in them. "This is nothing new to me Nick, I can handle it." Nick shook his head lightly and smirked, his mind tracing back the path of yesteryears when he had first met Brian. It was a typical Brian Littrell trait, always putting others first before himself. "Can you really Brian? Cause I'm not gonna lie to you, I can't handle another session and I just only had been to one." "No one here is perfectly healthy Nick, everyone is sick. I think it's a waste of time asking if someone is okay huh?" Brian whispered. He forced a giggle and shrugged his shoulders just so Nick would know that he was still able to joke around. "It's never a waste of time to worry about someone." Nick replied as he stifled a cough. His throat was dry and every now and then, he could feel the tingling chill, the effect of the session. "But if you really want to see this plan of ours turn out a success, you have to take care of yourself." "Strong will, I like that." Brian remarked as he straightened his back and looked at Nick admiringly. "Don't ever loose it, we need to see that to keep us going." Brian said and turned towards the dark figure cuddled at the corner of the bed., " Right D?" Howie sighed softly and closed his eyes. All he wanted to do was be the spectator, not join in what he had decided was a very emotional day time soap drama. He combed his fingers through his curls and forced the tears not to fall. So quickly, his life had changed so very quickly, and irrevocably. When he had finally recomposed his position, he forced the heavy laden eyelids to open and the dizziness attacked like swarm of bees. The two dark figures now swirling with each other, like a live abstract art, he willed for the image to stop. "D, you awake?" Brian's voice lingered in the dark and when it reached Howie, it sounded like a broken record. And like everything else, the dizziness subsided and the two figures came into focus again. "Going where?" Howie asked, dismissing Brian's guess that he was asleep. Brian grunted loudly and tilted his tired head to one side. "You know what I'm talking about." Howie sighed loudly and started to lye back on the bed, eyes now focused on the dark ceiling. Often, the rays of light would make out patterns there and he had often found himself totally immense into it. It always felt much better to pretend that you were somewhere else, far away from this hell hole. "Yes Nick, we need it." Brian turned his attention back to Nick, the frown on his forehead still visible. He hated it when Howie treated everything so negatively. He knew about his past, he was there to witnessed it first hand and it pained him to see the once positive-thinking young man changed so drastically. If it wasn't for Howie, he would have feel lost in that Home. Howie had welcomed him with so much love, treating him like his own brother. He would share wonderful memories of his family, especially his siblings with him and Brian had always envied him. He was an only child brought up by a single mom. His dad had long passed away and it had been only him and his mom ever since he was five. And it pained him to think of his mom all alone, thinking that she had not only lost her husband, but now her only son. He might be suffering, but he had friends in the Home, his mom had no one. He wished that Howie could see that he wasn't alone. "Well, I think we should just go to sleep now, who knows what tomorrow has in store for us." Brian sighed and got up from the bed. The dizziness came but was gone in a split second. "Good night Nick." He turned and headed towards his bed. "Brian?" "Yeah?" "Will Kevin be here tomorrow?" Nick asked as he painstakingly slid himself back to bed. Brian stopped on his track and turned back. "Yeah. Why?" "Nothing…actually, I think I have an idea how we can make this plan works faster for us." Nick said as he pulled the frail-looking blanket up, making sure not an inch of his body from shoulder down would be exposed. "You do? I can't wait. Goodnight Nick." Brian said and continued his way back to the bed. He wanted so much to ask him of his idea but realized he had bugged him for too long. "Good night Brian." Nick yawned. "Good night Howie." Howie closed his eyes and smile, he wondered how could he ever avoid this boy? "Goodnight Nick," he paused and opened his eyes, staring into darkness in front of him. He knew he shouldn't have been so hard on Brian. "Goodnight Brian." *~* Kevin sauntered into the room with so much ease that it had began to bug Brian. He was the only one who looked tanned around them and after getting so used to it, it felt like they were meant to look all pale and Kevin was the one with a skin problem. But battling soar aching muscles that just wouldn't go away, it choked him to see someone else walking around parading their perfect muscles. "Have you taken your pills Bri?" Kevin asked as soon as he entered. It made Brian felt guilty for thinking the way he did. Kevin had suffered too and as much as he loathed the way he looked then, Kevin was like a Saint to all of them. To him. He was their only hope. Through him, they learnt about life outside of the Darla Home and it was through him that he secretly learnt of his mother's welfare. "Yes doc." He smiled, knowing that Kevin hated being teased like that. "So, I heard you wanna see me?" Kevin asked as his gaze fell on the empty bed next to him. Howie was in session, he noted. The gleam in his eyes immediately faded. Poor Howie. The sudden urgency that was ramming his heart made him felt lost again. How long would it take until everything was out in the open? How many more lives would be lost until he finally did something right? "Actually that blonde kid over there does." Brian said, pointing towards Nick. Kevin nodded and walked over to the new kid. He had his pair of glasses on and was reading a book intensely that he didn't noticed his presence. He took note of the title 'Tell No One'. He thought of the irony of reading that book. "Is it any good?" Kevin asked as he sat on the empty bed next to him. Nick looked up and was surprised to find Kevin there. "Hi, I didn't know you're here." "I know. That book must be really good." Kevin replied as he eyed the book once more. He was searching for the author's name but couldn't find any. "Something I didn't get to finish back then. It's a good thing I decided to bring it with me, this place is so damn boring." Nick replied and placed the book carefully on the side table. He took his glasses off and placed it on top of the black, paperback book. "Tell me about it." Kevin smiled. He turned to Brian and saw that he showed no intentions of trying to hide the fact that he was listening to their conversation. He smiled and turned back to face Nick, who was already sitting up straight on his bed, legs dangling as he swung them lightly back and forth. "So, what is it you want to tell me?" Nick nodded and started to rub his palms together. He had been thinking about it for awhile and although a part of him was saying that it was a stupid idea, the other part was giving him a mount full of reasons why he should voice it out. "You said this whole conspiracy thingy has the rich people supporting it right?" Nick asked for assurance. "Yes." Kevin replied. "Government bodies, police department practically all of them." "Well, if we really want to know what was going on over there, we need someone from the inside." Nick started. He looked at Kevin's expression, hoping that he got his attention. The frown that creased his forehead said that he had. "You have someone in mind?" Kevin asked. "Actually I do. And I can assure you that he will never say No." Kevin studied the young man with interest. Not even a month in the Home and he was already making a difference. He wished that he wouldn't lost his hope, like everyone else gradually did. "So…you want me to talk to this guy?" "Yes. I know where he will be at the exact time when you're supposed to make your rounds at the hospital. Just approach him, he will listen." Nick replied. Brian listened with renewed interest. He wondered if Nick had ever considered the consequences of bringing an outsider into the secret. He wondered if Nick had ever thought how it would affect this someone. He would have probably moved on with his life and accept the fact that Nick had died and now he was about to find out that he was still alive and he would die if he didn't help them all to reveal this truth. Would this certain someone be able to carry the secret if he met up with Nick's family and not tell the truth when he faced the pain suffering of a mother that shouldn't be? "Very well Nick, if you're confident enough about this person, then I'm willing to take the risk." Kevin said softly, suddenly aware that their conversation might be overhead by someone not Brian. "Who is this guy?" "His my bestfriend. You might have heard of his family. AJ Mc Lean." *~* When you make a decision, you weighed their pros and cons. I made up mine and decided that AJ could help us. And true to my word, AJ did help. In fact, it was because of him that we made it this far. It was because of him that I have live long enough to make this documentary. But in doing so, I paid a heavy price for it.

*Ps: How old is a child if he/she is in Grammar school? Ah well, we have different educational system everywhere, so excuse my ignorance. Tell No One is a novel written by Harlan Coben. It tells a story of a couple named David and Samantha Becks. They had gone for a vacation and to put it simply, Samantha died in an accident. David Becks picked up the pieces of his life and moved on. Years later, he received calls, letters and even met a stranger who hinted that Samantha might be alive. Following these clues and the love he had for his wife, he went searching, only to find his own life placed in danger. Someone was trying to tell him of what happened to his wife while another was hunting for his life. Something was wrong, someone was hiding secrets and despite knowing all these, he found himself trapped, forced to keep it a secret. All he wanted to know was the truth. The way I look at it, AJ was about to become David. *~* Being promoted to Principal at Ever Green Grammar School after Mrs. Pauline stepped down a few months ago, was an honour to Jackie Littrell. She took pride in her job and since it was the only thing that had kept him going, it had became like an outstretched arm that she needed to hold on to. Letting go would mean losing all purpose to live. But lately, she wished that she had remain a regular teacher. Being a principal meant that she had to take care of the administrative side of things and what she thrived in doing was to be where the children were, where the laughter could be heard. There, she could push the picture of her husband and her son to the back of her mind. To give her that temporary state of nothing but happiness. Shaking the weariness off her face and putting on a smile, she turned the doorknob and opened the door. “Julia, can I see the next appointment please?” The middle-aged receptionist nodded and turning her attention over to the parent who had been waiting with her two children, said, “Mrs. Carter, you’re next.” Jane Carter acknowledged the receptionist with a smile and got up from her seat. Taking the twins by the hands on each side of her, she approached the principal. “Oh my goodness, Jane, is that you?” Jackie Littrell cried, hardly able to content her excitement. Jane frowned a little, trying to remember if she had seen the principal somewhere. Upon closer inspection, recognition dawn upon her. “Jackie?” Jane cried. “This is a great surprise!” Jackie beamed. “Why, you brought the twins! Oh dear, they’ve grown so big now!” “Well, that’s my purpose of being here actually.” Jane replied, her smile disappeared right after. Jackied nodded her head and from a mother to another, she felt her sadness even before she knew her plight. “Come on in then, we’ll have a talk.” Closing the door behind her, Jackie showed Jane to the yellow sofa at a corner of the room. Her eyes danced, her heart flutter at the sight of the twins struggling to get up on the sofa. Once settled, she sat on the single sofa facing them. “You’re registering the twins here?” Jackie asked. “I am hoping so. I know it’s already middle of the term but this is kind of short notice to me too.” Jane replied, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice. “What happened?” Jackie asked as she offered a bowl of sweets to the young boy and he had timidly took two and passed one to his sister before whispering a ‘thank you’ to her. She whispered her ‘welcome’ and when his blue eyes literally smiled back at her, she sensed the incoming wave of memories of her son and immediately tore her gaze to Jane. “I don’t know how to even begin this…” Jane replied, her eyes already burning with the sensation of the approaching tears. “Jane,” Jackie paused, waiting for her friend to look at her again. “you know you can tell me anything.” Jane nodded her head and felt the tears trailed down her cheeks. She laughed it off and wiped them quickly. “I’m such a mess.” “Hey, it’s okay.” Jackie consoled. “Listen, honeys, I have some wonderful toys next room, would you like to go there?” Jackie asked the twins. They nodded their heads and smiled expectantly at her. “Mom, can we go?” Angel asked as she tugged at the sleeve of her shirt. “Yes baby, you can go.” Jane smiled. “But behave yourselves okay?” “I will take care of her.” Aaron assured her. Jackie opened the door and motioned for the receptionist to bring the twins to the playhouse next door. Once the twins were safely brought there, she went back in. “There’s a teacher to look after them, you don’t have to worry about their safety.” Jackie said as she sat next to Jane. “I’m not.” Jane smiled. “I’m sorry, it’s just that a lot of things had been going on lately and I don’t know if I can go on like this.” Jackie frowned and placed a comforting hand on her arm, squeezing it a little. “What’s wrong? You know you can tell me.” “You’ve always been nice Jackie. I wish you didn’t push me away after Brian’s death.” Jane smiled. “I wish I hadn’t too, I missed you.” Jackie replied. “Did you ever tell Nick what happened to Brian?” “I never did, although I wish you’d tell me why you didn’t want me to.” Jane replied, holding back her tears. It had been awhile since someone mentioned Nick. Even the twins had stopped referring to everything that they do with their elder brother. “It’s a long story Jane.” Jackie smiled before continuing, “So, what is Nick up to lately? The last I heard, he helped win the trophy.” She didn’t want to, but she found herself taking that winding steps back to that evening. Nick scoring the winning goal and then watching by the stands, her son collapsing to the floor. It didn’t stop there. The steps brought her back to the night when she opened the front door to find two police officers telling her that her son was involved in an accident. It was supposed to be his birthday celebration. He had woke up with a slight fever and had spent the entire day in bed. Bob and her had felt guilty because they couldn’t do anything grand for him. He had told them that he did not want a birthday cake. Nick was eighteen and it was time that he had his own car. Being hardly with any financial stability, Bob had told her the night before that he wanted to hand over their family wagon to him while he would take the company’s truck that wait for workers at the junction not far from their neighbourhood. But Nick had got into that accident and he was never totally cured from the backaches. Nick may not have told them but they knew what was going on with their son’s life. He had gradually lost his appetite and the slightest work had got him tired. Jane was looking forward to the day when her son would bounce back to his normal self, dying the way he did at eighteen was something no parent had expected. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this but it’s been rather difficult to contact you these days,” Jane hinted playfully. Jackie had laugh softly and nodded her head. “but…Nick passed away a month ago.” “What?” Jackie gasped. “But…how…why?” “He…the doctors said he had Darla…and we sent him to the Home and he…he died…” Jane cried. Jackie pulled her into a hug, tears paving down her cheeks. The memories of being informed of her son’s death played in her mind. “Jane, believe me, I know how you feel right now.” “I didn’t even get to see him for the last time Jackie…he died alone…he knew no one there…” Jane sobbed. “I know honey, Brian died the same way too.” Jane pushed herself away from her friend. “What do you mean?” “You want to know what happen to Brian, I’m telling you now.” Jackie cried. “He had Darla too Jane. I sent him to the Home and he died there. I didn’t get to see him before he died, just like you.” *~* Something had been troubling him for awhile now. The same voice kept repeating itself in his head; he didn’t know what it meant then and no matter how he had defiantly tried to push the thoughts away, it stuck to him like a bad song. His heart was telling him that there was something more to it and that he should do something about it. The long passage way of the hospital was suffocating him with memories of his last visit there. If given a choice, he wouldn’t want to step in there again. But there are questions needed to be answered and if he had been paying attention to the right voice, he would get it there. He found the waiting area with no difficulties at all. It was rather busy, families were occupying the seats, waiting for news of their beloved ones. Taking a seat at the further corner, he reached out for a magazine and started reading. Some time soon, he will find him. He had to. *~* Every day, without fail, he would receive at least a call from the hospital. Another victim waiting to be transported. And every time, he had prayed that the call would be to the Nothern Ebay Home. Things had been looking up for quite some time. The last few weeks, all calls had required for him to send the victims to the one up north. But he knew very well that although things were smooth for him, other volunteers were bringing victims back home down south. “Hey Kev, good news for you.” Ashley, a volunteer, said as he approached him across the corridor at the Isolation level. “Yeah?” Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow. “The patient is a girl. You know what that means?” Ashley asked. “He’s yours.” Kevin replied. “Right. And the two boys next room, they’re going with Josh..” Ashley said. “Josh is gonna take them there?” Kevin asked as he watched the volunteer about to enter the room. “Yeah. Said you could do with a little rest. You’re free today man.” Ashley exclaimed. “I guess so.” Kevin nodded. “Poor girl though.” “I know.” Ashley frowned. “We just lost a girl two days ago.” “You know how it is right?” Kevin replied sadly. “I know…one comes one goes.” Ashley sighed. “Look, I’ve got to run man, see you later right?” Kevin nodded and watched as his friend entered the isolation room. From where he was standing, he could see the girl’s family crowding her bed. If they only knew the truth. He saw Josh coming out of the room and upon seeing him, he waited as the volunteer approached him. “I’m going north.” Josh said. “So I’ve heard.” Kevin replied. “Damn that fast mouth!” Josh groaned, glaring inside the girl’s room, knowing that Ashley was inside. “Hey, it’s not like he knows where you’re really heading to. When he told me that you said I need some down time, that just give it away man.” Kevin smirked. “Yeah well, if I didn’t ‘offer’ I wouldn’t be able to get the job done.” Josh shrugged. “So, you know what to do right?” Kevin asked, turning serious. “Yeah, considered it done.” Josh replied. “Eric would be expecting me right?” Kevin nodded. “I’ve told him you’re coming this time. You have exactly fifteen minutes, not a second more. You get the hell out of there after that no matter if you got it or not. Get that?” Josh rolled his eyes. “Yes Kevin, I know. Stop being so uptight, this place is too tense, we need to cheer up.” “Nobody’s perfect like you Josh.” Kevin joked. “I know.” Josh shrugged and smiled. “You know, sometimes I wish I were Ashley. Not knowing the truth is something I don’t really mind right now.” Kevin shook his head and snickered. “We’re doing something right, Josh. Doesn’t that count for anything?” “It does,” Josh sighed. “and that’s why I’m gonna get my hands on that thing no matter what.” “I have no doubt about you my man.” Kevin patted his shoulder encouragingly. “I’m out of here. Good luck.” Josh waved and walked back into the room, ready to get the boys. Kevin stepped into the elevator, his heart tensing as he realised he would be making his way back to the home. Mark, Brad and Nick would be having their sessions that day. They would be busy that night, considering the fact no one would be looking after Mark since he would be alone and even with Nick and Brad being looked after by their room mates, he had to be there. Brian wasn’t looking very well for the past few days even though he was free from session for almost four days and Howie had not been himself lately. And then there was the big ‘mission’ of how he would handle approaching the Mc Lean kid. He had done some homework on the young man and had even studied his daily schedules. He was pretty much a loner, often he would see him stopping by the park, feeding the ducks as his mind trailed off. From what Kevin had observed, AJ had not taken his best friend’s sudden death very well. The elevator opened too soon and he was already on the first floor. Passing by the waiting area, silently praying that none of them waiting down there had a relative with Darla, he walked away. But something caught his sight then that made him stopped. AJ was staring at him, as if calling for him to come. He sighed, wondering if he should approach the young man. He wasn’t even sure if AJ remembered him but the way he was looking at him, it was like as if he had been waiting. “Now is the best time than any other.” Kevin told himself and silently made his way through the crowd and found the seat next to AJ, empty. “How convenient.” “You’re Kevin Richardson right?” AJ asked. “That’s me.” Kevin replied. “What are you doing here AJ?” AJ frowned. He didn’t remember telling him his name. Their last meeting had been brief. He was there to take his best friend away from him. “How did you know my name?” “Nick told me.” Kevin replied. AJ nodded. “And again, why are you here?” “I’m looking for you.” AJ replied. “Me?” Kevin frowned. “Why?” “I kinda bumped into this guy at the Home where Nick was supposed to be and he told me to look for you. He said Nick wasn’t there, that I got the wrong Home. What’s that suppose to mean? I thought there’s only one home in Ebay.” Kevin frowned. “Who is this boy that you saw?” AJ shook his head. “I don’t know man…he didn’t tell me his name…he’s got blonde hair and blue eyes…he reminds me of Nick.” “Oh…” Kevin nodded in acknowledgement. “That’s Eric.” “Okay, thanks for the name, but you still haven’t tell me what’s up with that guy. He said Nick wasn’t there but we came back home with his ash that day. He died. Some Home you guys have…” AJ replied, a tinge of anger edged in his voice. “AJ, I’m sorry to pull you into this but we have no choice.” Kevin replied, his voice dropping a few notches. “First of all, Nick is not dead; and second, we need your help.” *~* “Carter, it’s time for your session, let’s go.” Dr. Kroeger said even before he stepped into the room. His footsteps and authoritative voice boomed loud and clear at the corridor. Howie watched his new friend as his name was being yelled. No matter how long he had been there, it never failed to make him flinch every time the voice boomed for him. And it was probably because of that, it had surprised him when Nick’s reaction was to sit up on his bed, placed the book that he had been reading on the side table and taking off his glasses, placed it on top of the paperback. It was a scene Howie and Brian would see often after that. Slipping his feet into his sandals, he got up from his bed with no difficulties at all and waited for the doctor to appear. There was fear in his eyes, that much Howie could tell, but if they hadn’t paid much attention to it, and just look at the calm surface of his face, they couldn’t tell. “Are you ready?” Dr. Kroeger asked. “We can never be ready for what we’ve to go through, but will that stop you?” Nick asked. Howie almost choked. No one had ever talk back to any of the doctors. He turned towards Brian, he too, was frowning at Nick. “No, it will not.” Dr. Kroeger replied, smiling. “Then, what’s the use in asking me right?” Nick replied, returning the smile. “You’re right Carter, next time, I won’t ask, I’ll just tell you to.” Dr. Kroeger smiled cynically. “By the way Littrell, you’re up too.” Brian froze. “He wasn’t scheduled for today, we saw the list!” Howie argued. “He was told to lay off the session for a week.” Nick added. “Change of plans. You’re coming with us Littrell.” Dr. Kroeger simply replied. “Don’t feel neglected Dorough, your time will come soon.” Howie ignored the sarcasm and watched helplessly as Brian slipped into his sandals and joined Nick. His movement wasn’t as smooth as Nick had been and it worried him a lot. Brian wasn’t at his best and it had been that way ever since his last session. He feared for his safety, the one thing they don’t need right then was another death in that room. But death wasn’t such a farfetched reality. “It’s okay guys, it’s all in the name of finding a cure right?” Brian faked a smile. Nick and Howie knew he didn’t mean it but it wouldn’t make any difference. “That’s the way Brian! If only all the kids here understand this just like you, my job will be easier.” Nick rolled his eyes when the doctor was too busy singing his instructions, walking down the familiar path that would eventually stop in front of one of the many ‘restricted area’ doors. They stopped at a door marked ‘Level 2’ and Brian was told to enter. Nick managed to caught the stare in his friend’s eyes. It was pure fear that dwelled in them, nothing else. He heard a stern voice calling out his friend’s name and the door slammed shut. Pushing his emotions aside, he continued to follow a few steps behind his torturer. They passed by a room marked ‘Level 3’ and he flinched as a shrilling scream came from there. He knew it belonged to a girl and it only made his heart ached more. The sudden image of Angel appeared across his eyes. He felt the stung in his eyes and sniffed, trying his best not to break down right there. There was nothing much to see as they walked on, it was a hollow pathway with nothing but walls on both sides. They finally stopped in front of the door marked ‘Level 4’ and before entering, he saw that next to the room was an exit route for emergency. He took note of that and entered to face his doom. It was the same room as the first session only that this time, he was alert enough to take note of the surroundings. His eyes immediately fixated on the metal table at the furthest end of the room. He would do anything as long as he didn’t have to lye there, but he knew nothing will help him now. A sudden push from the side caught him off guard. He was practically flung to the other end of the room; hitting a round metal table, instinctively he pulled at the white cloth for support, only to find that he was dragging down some apparatus and landing it on the floor, broken into pieces. He felt his head spin for a while and reaching a finger up to touch the bump, it came away with his blood. “You have got to learn that when you try to talk smart, good things never come out of it.” Dr. Kroger sneered as he took great pleasure in watching Nick struggled to stand on his feet again. When he was half way up, he approached the young man and grabbing him by a fistful of his hair, pulled him up and slammed his head against a cold table nearby. His excitement grew at the sound of the boy’s cries. “You’re trying to look cool in front of your friends Nick? Is that it?” Dr. Kroeger whispered harshly in his ears. “You’re going to die, face it Nick! Don’t make it any harder on yourself!” Nick had his eyes closed all the time, willing his mind to detach himself from the pain that was searing his body apart. He must have hit his back pretty badly because he could feel the strain of his muscle working against him now. He was pulled back to reality when he felt his body being yanked away from the table and his gaze met with a burly man he had never seen before. He stood on his feet, fighting with his every ounce of energy left not to fall. He stood there helpless as the man stripped him off his clothing, like the last session, he was left with his boxers on. He was pushed to the metal bed that he had dreaded so much and found Dr. Kroeger already fiddling with the buttons, never once acknowledging his appearance there. “Clean him up and get him ready, I’ll be back in a minute.” Dr. Kroeger said without even looking at the burly man. But that was enough an order for the man to start forcing him to lye back on the cold bed and he felt his rough hands handling the cut above his eyes. Too scared to do anything, Nick had closed his eyes and laid very still. The burn as he felt an odourless liquid being dabbed on the cut kept pulling him back to reality, to feel the pain that he desperately wanted to run away from. It seemed to take forever and it was getting painful to lye too still when his back was aching. “Are you done?” Dr. Kroeger’s voice filled the room again. The burly man replied a short ‘yes’ and left the room. Nick felt aware of his surroundings again. His mind fearing of what was to come. “Sit up.” Nick didn’t have to wait for a second reminder. He forced himself up and helplessly tried to hold in the sudden urge of throwing up everything he had eaten that morning. Not that he had a lot to eat, but the thought of what he would be ‘awarded’ with for throwing up at his torturer was enough to have him not show his stomach’s content. “I read your report Carter and it said you were in some road accident about a month before you were diagnosed with Darla.” Nick nodded, not daring to look at the doctor in the eyes. “It says you had a piece of rod pierced through from the back.” Nick didn’t move as the doctor walked behind him. Nick could feel his cruel eyes staring at him from the back, probably looking for the scar. “Lost a lot of blood, almost killed you, right?” Nick nodded, blinking the painful memory away. “Wish you had died then Nick?” Nick didn’t dare to reply. Fighting himself from loosing consciousness, he let out a startled gasp as a pain shot right up his spine. “You never did get over it, did you? Headaches, backaches…the hospital made a very fatal mistake that day Nick. They gave you a blood transfusion and the donor was infected with Darla. That was careless of them.” Nick froze. His life was a waste, because of a mistake. “But you see…in this home, we try to find cures for your ailments. Today Carter, is your lucky day.” Dr. Kroeger smiled as he made a full circle and stopped in front of Nick again. “We have something to take that pain away. You want that Nick?” Nick looked up, his gaze fell short at the doctor’s coat. He nodded nervously, fearing the man who was standing threateningly in front of him. “Sure you do. Be proud Nick, it has never been tested before.” *~* When Brian had entered the room, he didn’t made it to the bed and collapsed in the middle of the room. It was too late for Howie to come to his rescue and kneeling down next to his friend, found that he had lost consciousness. Somehow, in his weak state, Howie had managed to carry his friend back to his bed. Fifteen minutes later, as he was placing a towel on his friend’s forehead in hope to simmer down his sudden fever, Brian had woken up. As a memorised routine, Howie reached for the silver bowl under his bed and positioned it in between his friend’s legs. Not sooner had he placed the bowl, Brian had hurled into it. The entire procedure of watching someone throwing up, the smell, the sight of it had been a part of Howie. It took a lot to make him run away from such a situation. He massaged Brian’s neck as he continued to throw up painfully. It took Brian the next hour just to calm his nerves down and to finally stop throwing up and as he laid on his bed, having small talks with Howie, their roommate had yet to make his appearance. “What’s taking him this long?” Brian had groaned. “He’ll be back soon Brian, don’t get worked up.” Howie consoled. He might have look calm but the nerves that was brewing underneath was only his to know. Brian pushed himself and propped himself up right on the bed. “He didn’t get into Level one D, and he definitely didn’t get to Level two with me, it means he went to level three or four. I can’t even stand level two D and I’ve been here longer than him!” “Brian please, don’t worry yourself like this. We just have to wait okay?” “Where’s Kevin? Didn’t he know anything about this?” Brian asked. “He’s in Mark’s room.” Howie replied. Brian nodded in understanding. “At least we have each other Bri, I don’t know how Mark handled it alone.” Brian went quiet, drowned again in his own troubled thoughts. Howie stood up to stretch himself. His eyes dropped to the book and the pair of rimless glass lying on the side table next to Nick’s bed, waiting for its’ owner’s return. Tell No One. Howie’s gaze was torn away rudely by the sudden slamming of the door. Kevin had swung open the door with one huge force that it slammed against the wall behind it. The figure that he was half supporting against his weight made Howie rushed to him for aid. Nick was a mess. He was not covered in small spots of dried blood like the last session, in fact, other than the small cut above his eyes, he was free from open wound. But Nick had looked twice as pale as Brian if that was even possible to begin with. He was semi-conscious and looking at the tear-stricken face, he had went through a session that neither Brian nor Howie had been through. “What happened?” Brian asked worriedly from his bed. He had tried to get up but the drowsiness stopped him from doing so. “I have to do something drastic soon, they’re starting phase four.” Kevin said sternly as he placed Nick gently on the bed. The young man immediately turned side way and coiled himself into a cocoon. “Four? You mean…” “He was in level four. That place is restricted even for me!” Kevin whispered angrily, aware of the surrounding. “How are you by the way Brian?” “Same old stuff, I’m hanging.” Brian dismissed, still worrying on his friend. Howie wanted to throw something sarcastic at Brian. He was not ‘hanging’ and Kevin needed to know that. Not wanting to upset his friend any further, he decided that he would have to tell him another time when the opportunity strike. “What did he do to him Kev?” “I don’t know, he can’t even talk! Hell, he can’t even walk!” Kevin cried. Kevin’s anger left when he heard Nick groaned. He turned his attention back to the young blonde. Nick was coughing and it sounded dry and forced. Every small move that he made, Nick would winced in pain. Kevin felt lost, he had nothing to offer to ease the pain. Tearing his gaze away from the suffering man, he turned to face Howie again. “He was coughing blood when I got there. I don’t know how much more of those tests he’s gonna stand.” “He shouldn’t have talk back, I know this is gonna happen.” Brian sighed softly. “They let you in the room?” Howie asked. “No. He was in the nursing room.” Kevin replied. “On drip.” “How did you-” “Lisa told me.” Kevin cut in, knowing what Brian had intended to ask. He had decided not to tell anything further judging by how distraught Brian and Howie had reacted. Phase four was introduced at about the same time Nick was brought in. According to Lisa, Nick was the second patient brought to her attention who was sent to Level Four. The other patient was Jordon, a twenty-seven year old man who was under Josh’s care. Lisa had been a volunteer in the Home long before Kevin even knew the place exist. Like him, she was a runaway with no place to go. And just like him, she was manipulated into becoming a volunteer there. Now, they were caught in the deceit of lies and was forced into keeping the truth a secret. There were only two people whom Kevin trust with his secret. Lisa was one of them. Just like Kevin, Josh was asked to send a patient over to the Northern home by mistake and he had came back looking pale and troubled. Kevin had eventually found out the truth from him and knowing how his life would be in danger if Josh decided to report the matter to the very people who supported the secret, Kevin had led him in to their plan and trusted him with his life. “What do we do?” Howie asked, his concerned eyes never left his friend. Kevin sighed. Subconsciously, he started massaging his temple, feeling the soft pounding of an incoming headache. When he was called over to the nursing room, he was expecting to find Mark there since Lisa knew that the young man had no roommate to take care after him. But Mark, he learnt, had just went in to his ‘session’ fifteen minutes ago and wouldn’t be expected out for another hour. Nick was lying on his side, cuddled up like a foetus. One hand outstretched underneath, with an intravenous drip intact. The blanket was only raised to his waist level. He saw the cut above his eye first and even after realising that it had been tended to, found no comfort in knowing that he was hurt in ways he shouldn’t be. As he was told, Nick couldn’t tell her what was wrong with him, that he couldn’t talk. She had tried persuading him to lye on his back but he had refused. He’s in pain and I don’t know how exactly, she had told him. The next shock was to find out that the bed was stained with a small spot of blood. Lisa had told him then that he was coughing exactly that. “They didn’t let me have an X-ray of him so I can’t really tell you what’s wrong. Just check for any swelling in the next twenty-four hours and get back to me if he gets any worst.” “Isn’t there anything that you can give him?” “I don’t know what sorts of test he had been through Kevin, I can’t risk giving him anything that might make it any worse. I’ve given him glucose though, he should be okay. But like I’ve said before-” “You’re the first to know if he gets worse.” Nick didn’t even make a single noise when Kevin had reluctantly pulled him away from his rest. He was oblivious to his surroundings and for the first time, Kevin was actually relieved. Drawing his thoughts back into the solemn room, he said, “I’m afraid there’s nothing that we can do, D. Let’s just hope he will get better in the next hour.” *~* Life is unpredictable. You could live it to your old age, all the while blessed a happy and healthy life, and when suddenly you found out you were stricken with cancer or any deadly disease, you cursed your fate. You often ask yourself, have I been a bad person to deserve and suffer like this? But what happened to all those times when you were healthy and happy? Your entire life living those wonderful moment forgotten because of a setback in your older years. You begin to tell yourself that life is unfair. Is that really true? I was only eighteen when I had Darla, but that aside, I had lived those years with a roof under my head, a family who loves me and friends I could count on. It was a tragedy that I had my life turned upside down because of the carelessness of the hospital staffs. But I believe things happen for a reason. I believe that each and everyone of us who ended up in the Southern Ebay Home had a purpose to be there. Yes, most of us suffered and died but the sacrifices that we went through would eventually be paid. The pain that they made me went through lived with me to this day. Even now, I would find myself shiver involuntarily. I would be sitting and reading a book or just engaged in a tensed conversation and the shiver would hit me without warning. I remembered that night, as I lay in bed trying to hold on to the pain that refuse to go, I promised three things to myself. Not to have Kevin’s efforts go to waste. Be there for my brothers. Don’t die until we get the secret out. And having you watch this right now, you know I kept my promise. And I know why things happened the way it did.

ok that's it for now ladies, I'll be back soon with more chapters, hope you like! :)