I didn't know what I was doing here. I stood at the grave sight once more. What happened was something I have never excepted. I don't know went wrong, and still til this day I regret what happened. I can feel my heartbeat beat slowly, and I looked at the white roses I held in my hand. I can feel myself start to shake. I felt loss and out of placed. I can feel a tear start to gradually go down my cheek. I layed the roses on the gravesight and kneeled down to put them there. I stared intently name on the grave. It only happened a year ago, when she died. Why didn't I reach her in time. All these thoughts and questions started racing in my mind. I looked up watch and I knew that this was the last time I would come here again.

I took sometime to think, just standing there. The time seemed to rapidly go at a slow pace. I was there for a reason and knew that this was my last goodbye. I needed to do something I should of done a long time ago.

I reached into my pocket of my black jeans, and took a letter out that I had written to her after she died.

I read it out loud, meaning to get this out in the open.

Honeybear,

Those years that we have spent have been meaningfull and the memories will be in my heart forever. The first time we met, I never felt with anybody in my entire life. You have completed me . I can't desribe anything about you because you are a beautiful person and my angel. I look back on the years that we have spent time together and I can't help smiling because I'd always look back on what we have shared together. When you wake up in arms, I never felt so happy just to lay with you while you were in the comfort of my arms. Your gorgeous long blonde hair and looking up at those big green eyes. You were full of life and had so much in you. I wake up now, alone but thinking of you constantly. You were my soulmate and my honeybear. I love you babe, I will.

Love,

Nick Carter


I layed the letter next to the flowers, and suddenly I can feel the wind blow. I knew she was here, watching over me. As I did for her. I smiled and walked to my black mercedes-benz and started the car. I drove out of sight, as the sun set.

I stepped out of the classroom, looking towards the rest of the day, just spending time at home. Maybe I can actually get some rest. As Jenn thought to herself.

I can see the brightness of the sun, reflect in my eyes. I slipped the sun glasses off my layered blonde hair and put on face. It didn't seem so bright. It was another sunny day in Tampa Bay, Florida. I attended Tampa University and my major is in creative writing. I just moved out here and I have been living with my best friend Diana for a while. She has lived here for her whole life and I thought it would be a great opporunity to go some where it's sunny. Florida was perfect. I have been born and raised in Michigan and it isn't like Fl. Warm and sunny all the time. I haven't met anyone recently here but have met a couple of people. Diana as one and the closest friends I have is Matt who is a good friend of mine. Also, Julie and Kerri. On the side of what I am doing, am model, been doing that since I was 12.

I walked to my black vw jetta and drove to home which where I wanted to be at the moment. I didn't know that I have ever excepted would happen when I got home.

I hope the front door to condo, and through my keys on the kitchen counter. I look unsuspecting at the pile of mail that was laying there. I grabbed the buddle of mail and went through. Just seemed to be bills and a couple of fam mails. Seems like that always happens. We constantly get bills.

I put the mail down and opened the refrigerator grabbing a Evian to drink. I walked into my room to change into more comfortable clothes. I grabbed a white tank top and black capris. As I changing, i heard the phone start to ring. I pulled my shirt down and quickly ran to the phone.

As I answered the phone, and I replied hello. Just this one call changed my life forever.