Swollen Issues - Chapter 45
“How did the doctor appointment go this afternoon?” Brian asked as Nick
entered the kitchen.
“Like always,” Nick mumbled as he stuck his head into the fridge, fishing
around for a bottle of water.
“That doesn’t tell me much,” Brian sighed.
Slamming the refridgerator door, Nick turned around and walked over to the
table. “That’s cause she didn’t tell me anything except that I have to do
more freakin’ tests.”
Brian’s eyes widened. “More tests? Is something wrong?”
Nick shrugged his shoulders. “No, I-I don’t think so, I mean as far as I can
tell she doesn’t think anythings wrong. I guess it’s just to see how my body’s
responding to the chemo I think.”
“What kind of tests,” Brian pressed.
“Tons of lab shit,” came the mumbled reply. “Next month she’s gonna
schedule a body cat scan and some stupid ultrasound to see if the nodes have
swollen...” Nick stopped for a second and glanced down at his stomach. “Yeah,
right.”
“Nick you’ve gotta stay positive.”
“I’m sick of having my blood taken from me though,” Nick sighed as he
uncapped the bottle of water.
Watching his friend take a generous gulp from the bottled water, Brian
made an observation. “Well, I think you’re looking better.”
Nick rolled his eyes. “Brian, you’re a lousy liar.”
Brian immediately turned red from being caught in a lie. “Well, yeah that I
am, but seriously, to me you look pretty good.”
Nick shook his head. “Wouldja just stop it?”
Brian grinned at his best friend then suddenly his face grew serious. “So did
she have anything positive to say to you?”
“If you count the fact that I gained two pounds since my last visit, I guess
that would be positive in her opinion,” Nick sighed, drawing a hand through
his hair. Something suddenly didn’t feel quite right and he looked at his
hand, his mouth dropped open when Nick saw the clump of blonde hair
wrapped around his fingers. Tears immedately filled his eyes. This was one of
the side effects of the chemo that he prayed would pass him. “Oh fuck,” he
breathed. He looked over at Brian and was met with an ashen face, eyes
brimming with tears.
“Nick, I’m so sorry,” Brian whispered.
Staring at the hair in his hand, Nick let the tears fall. “Ya know, this was
something I was hoping wouldn’t happen,” he stated, his voice breaking.
Brian was at a loss for words. He simply softly replied, “Me too.”
Thoughts of Julie with her sparse red hair popped into Nick’s mind. This was
what was going to happen to him, he kept thinking. He didn’t want this to be
happening to him. How could he hide what was happening to his body from
the guys, his family and friends? How could he hide this from the fans?
Brian was thinking the same thing. “Nick?” He waited for an answer and
after a few moments, Brian cleared his throat and tried again. “Nick?”
“What?”
“You know you’re probably going to have to tell your folks and the guys.”
Scooting the chair back from the table, Nick stood up quickly, walking
towards the wastebasket, throwing the blonde hair away. He then opened
the cupboard that held all of the brown prescription bottles. Nick was
already taking ten different meds, four times a day. “I wonder if this is all
really worthwhile,” he mused, staring at the bottles.
“You know it is Nick,” Brian pointed out.
Shrugging his shoulders, Nick started pulling the bottles down and taking
out the meds he needed. “I really hate my life right now.”
No words were spoken as Brian watched Nick take the medication.
“What time is dinner?”
Brian glanced at his watch. “Um, Leighanne said probably around 5:30.”
“I’m gonna take a nap. Wake me up if I’m not down here by dinnertime,” Nick
announced.
******
Nick awoke to the sound of a telephone ringing. Glancing at the clock on the
nightstand, he discovered that it was a little after 5:00. Instead of feeling
refreshed, he thought he felt more drained.
“That was a waste of time,” he mumbled, throwing the covers off his body.
Yawning, he stood in front of the full length mirror, this time actually
looking at himself. He normally would avoid his reflection but for some
reason he wanted to look at himself. He shook his head after sizing his body
up. “Two pounds my ass.”
Wandering down the stairs towards the kitchen, Nick could hear Brian
talking on the phone and cupboard doors opening and closing. His eye caught
the answering machine and saw it flashing, indicating that there was a
message. Thinking that maybe Julie had tried to get ahold of him, Nick
pressed play. Instead of a message playing, Nick listened to Brian answering
the phone after the greeting played on the machine:
Brian: “Hello? Hello?”
Julie: “Hi, Brian? Is Nick there, this is Julie.”
Brian: “Oh, hi! He’s laying down. Can I give him a message?”
Julie: “No, I’ll talk to him later I guess. How’s he doing?”
Brian: (sighs) “Um, he’s tired I guess....he’s supposed to be having blood
tests, I’m hoping nothing’s wrong.”
Julie: (laughs nervously) “Well, that’s all part of chemo and cancer, endless
tests.”
Brian: “So how long before you finally got the news about your remission?”
Nick’s eyes widened. Remission? Julie’s in remission? His mouth
dropped open when the next realization hit him. Brian knows!
Julie: (giggles) “I don’t remember to be honest with you. But hey I showed
Nick that my hair was growing back and he told me to leave the scarf off.
He was so sweet about that.”
Nick narrowed his eyes.
Brian: “I bet Nick will be happy to hear about the remission when things
wind down for him.”
Julie: “I hope so, I just don’t want to show off about feeling so good when I
can tell he’s getting so sick. Um, I better let you go. I’ll call Nick later. Bye
Brian.”
Brian: “Bye Julie, take care.”
Nick could feel his face heat up and his heart beating faster. As he pressed
his index finger onto the red delete button on the answering machine he
debated about confronting Brian about Julie’s remission and why he hadn’t
been told. He quickly decided to wait and see when anyone would tell him
about this. He felt betrayed by Brian and by Julie. Why didn’t anyone want
to tell him about the remission?
Being filled with so much anger at the moment, Nick bounded up the stairs
as fast as he could, closing the bedroom door softly.
Stripping down in front of the huge mirror in his bathroom, Nick glared at
the port that was visible under his collarbone. “Who the fuck are you
kidding?” he sneered.
Turing on the shower as hot as he dared, Nick allowed the water to flow
over his body. It felt good and relaxing. After lathering up and rinsing, Nick
stepped out of the shower and grabbed a thick, green towel. Ignoring the
scent of dinner, he grabbed some of his favorite “club wear” and got dressed
quickly.
When the time came to brush his hair, Nick gingerly combed through the
blonde mop ontop of his head. His efforts were successful and he ditched
the comb into a drawer and shut the lights off in the bathroom.
He met Brian on the stairs.
“Hey bud, I was just coming up to tell you dinner’s ready,” Brian smiled.
“Go ahead without me,” Nick called out over his shoulder as he passed Brian
on the stairs.
“Where are you going?”
“Out,” Nick grunted.
Concern washed over Brian as he followed Nick. “Out? Where to? Something
wrong?”
Shoving a ballcap on and grabbing his wallet and car keys Nick mumbled, “I
just hafta go out, okay?” Quickly closing the door that led out to the garage,
Nick didn’t bother looking back and opened the door to the Mercedes and
climbed in.
******
“Hun, come on up to bed, it’s getting late,” Leighanne begged.
Brian shook his head as he sat in the chair that gave a view of all the
possible entries into the livingroom. He wanted to make sure he saw Nick
when he came home.
“But we were going to watch that movie in bed,” Lee remarked in a hurt tone.
“I’m sure Nick is just fine, you know Nick.”
“That’s why I’m not going to bed,” Brian replied.
Leighanne opened her mouth to say something to her husband when the
doorbell chimed. She locked eyes with Brian and quickly tightened the sash
on her white robe as Brian walked towards the door.
“Kevin.... AJ... Howie?”
Leighanne paused for a moment on the stairs when she heard Brian announce
the guests standing at the front door. She knew that no one had told them
about Nick’s condition. This was all going to be a tremendous shock for them
as well as for Nick when he came home. How would Nick react to the guys
being at his house?
“Brian how the hell are ya? And where the hell is Carter?” AJ boomed as he
entered the house.
“How come you guys are here?” Brian questioned as he watched each of the
men file by and take seats in the livingroom.
“We’re here because of him,” AJ gestured with a nod of his head towards
Kevin.
“Oh?” Brian asked innocently, casting a quick nervouse glance towards his
wife as she walked into the room.
“Hey Leigh,” AJ smiled.
Kevin drew in a quick breath. “Yeah, well, you know all the bad media that
Nicky’s been getting. I guess I was just a little concerned.”
“Bad media? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian remarked
casually.
“Well, it’s kinda obvious when Nick is spotted puking his guts out on the
street, and then there’s the rumors about his health...”
“His health!?” Brian cut AJ off, jumping on the question a little too quick for
Leighanne’s sastifaction, she was afraid Brian was becoming too obvious.
“Just the usual letting himself go bullshit and too much clubbing,” AJ
replied. “Nothing too devastating but you know how Kev gets his panties in a
bunch.”
Kevin shot a glare at AJ’s remark and Howie snickered at the mental picture
of Kevin standing with underwear stuck up his butt.
“Nick’s managing just fine,” Brian stated with a sigh. He hated all the
secrecy he had been sworn to and the lies were slowly building up and the
guilt on his shoulders felt like a lead weight.
“How about some coffee?” Leighanne offered, trying to get off the subject
of Nick.
“Sounds good, thanks,” Howie answered.
“I take it by the looks of the carryon lugguge you brought that you hadn’t
gotten a room at a hotel yet?” Brian observed.
“Damn hotel by the airport was booked solid for some freakin car show
thing,” AJ rasped.
“We’ll find a place after we see Nick,” Kevin said as his eyes looked around
the sparsely decorated room. “God, Nick really lives like a bachelor.”
All the men chuckled at Kevin’s remark about Nick’s lack of interior
decoration except Brian. He glanced at his watch, worry in his eyes. AJ
picked up on Brian’s expression immediately.
“Where is dumbass?”
“I-I d-don’t know for sure,” Brian stammered. “He just mentioned that he
needed to go do something and left. I’m assuming he went to visit a friend.”
Kevin raised an eyebrow as he studied his cousin’s face. Brian looked away
from his gaze, not trusting himself to keep Nick’s problems under wraps.
“Here we are, hot, black coffee,” Leighanne announced as she carried a tray
into the room.
Brian gratefully jumped up and helped his wife serve, thankful that the
interrogation had ended for the moment.
******
Minutes turned into hours as the time dragged out while the foursome
waited for Nick to return home. Calls made to his pager went unanswered
and they finally stopped when Leighanne came downstairs to tell them that
Nick had left his pager in his room - she kept hearing the loud chimes go off
everytime they paged him.
The sunlight filtered into the room where Howie and AJ were half sitting
half laying on the couch. Only Brian and Kevin were still awake, dark circles
were starting to develop under Brian’s eyes. It was a battle of wills for both
of the cousins as they sat and waited for their younger brother to return
home.
Brian was scared to death of what happened with Nick. This had been so
unpredictable. Usually when Nick would leave like this there was a solid
reason that anyone would know but there was nothing that Brian could tell
that had been out of the ordinary. Nick was due for another round of chemo
this morning, how was he going to get out of the house without the guys
questioning him on it? As he thought, Brian shifted nervously in the leather
recliner causing that “you-sounded-like-you-farted-but-you-really-didn’t”
noise.
“God Littrell, use the freakin bathroom,” AJ mumbled. Kevin grinned and
shook his head at Brian’s red faced glare towards AJ.
“What time is it anyway?” AJ asked as he stretched his arms.
“Six fifteen,” Brian announced quietly as he glanced at his watch.
As if on cue, the front door banged open with drunk Nick leaning heavily onto
an obvious prostitute.
“Yo Nickster!” AJ grinned sizing up the young man.