Swollen Issues II - Chapter 56
Nick stared at his face in the steamed bathroom mirror. The warm shower
revitalized his drained body temporarily, but he knew that this would more
than likely only be short lived until mid morning when he would feel so tired
he would need a nap to make it through another part of the day.
That’s the way his life was getting to be. He was sleeping in increments
during the day, like a baby would need. It seemed to be the only way he could
deal with the effects of the cancer and the chemo on his body.
Although he slept practically 12 to 14 hours a day, dark bags hung
underneath his cloudy blue eyes. His face looked thin and haggard, his skin
had dry patchy spots. Scooping up the assortment of ten different meds
that Nick had placed on the bathroom counter, he shoved them into his
mouth followed by a generous swallow of water.
“Yep,” he breathed as he gazed into the mirror, “your life definately sucks,
Carter.”
Padding his way quietly down the hall, he could smell the remnants of
breakfast from a few hours ago still lingering in the air. His mouth started
salivating when he thought about the bacon and eggs they must have eaten.
Nick decided that he was hungry this morning as he walked slowly down the
carpeted stairs, his hand gripping the rail tightly.
“Hey Nick good morning!” Brian called out cheerfully as he laid the
newspaper down onto the coffee table. This spurred a round of greetings
from the rest of the men that were sitting in the livingroom.
“Morning.”
“How are you feeling this morning?” Kevin questioned.
Nick groaned inwardly. This was exactly what he didn’t want to have to deal
with and was part of the reason why he hadn’t shared the news of his cancer
with the rest of the group. “Same as usual I guess, too early to tell.”
“Judas, you should, god it’s almost eleven,” AJ joked with a grin that quickly
left his face when Brian directed a glare at him. “What? What did I do
now?”
Brian only shook his head. “Hey Nick, do you want some breakfast? Leighanne
saved some of it for you.”
“Yeah, I think I might try to eat something this morning,” Nick agreed. As
he started to walk towards the kitchen, Brian walked alongside him. Nick
stopped. “I can get my own, you don’t have to wait on me.”
“Um, well yeah, I know, I, um, I’m going to get a refill on my coffee,” Brian
lied.
Nick looked at his friend’s empty hands. “So where’s your cup?”
“Oh, ah, it’s still in the cupboard.”
Nick grinned slightly. “Brian, you’re a horrible liar.”
Redfaced, Brian clamped a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “I know, I know. I just
thought you’d like some company.”
“Thanks.”
Brian stepped in front of Nick and started pulling plates out of the fridge,
setting them on the counter, never hesitating in his moves, he grabbed a
clean plate from the cupboard and situated two pancakes and several strips
of bacon and placed them into the microwave, punching the buttons.
“Where’s Leighanne?”
“Gone shopping.”
Nick replied with a laugh then stopped suddenly as Brian pulled a carton of
juice from the refrigerator. “Oh, skip the OJ Bri, it hurts my mouth, I’ll just
get some milk.”
“Sit right there, I’ve got it,” Brian directed when Nick started to get up
from his chair.
“I could have done this myself, but thanks, I appreciate it,” Nick smiled.
“I know you could, and you’re welcome,” he replied as he set the glass of milk
in front of Nick along with the jug of maple syrup down, stopping a moment
to look at his young friend’s face. “You still do the peanut butter?”
Nick nodded his acknowledgment.
Brian shuddered. “That grosses me out, peanut butter on pancakes drowning
in syrup.”
“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”
Setting the jar of peanut butter in front of Nick, Brian sighed. “I’m doing
this under protest but only cause I know you’re hungry.”
The mircowave chirped, indicating that the food was heated and Brian
quickly set the breakfast in front of Nick. He pointed at the empty chair
opposite of Nick. “Is it okay if I sit down.”
“Don’t be stupid, yeah you can sit and keep me company.”
Brian sat quietly as he watched Nick prepare the pancakes, spreading a
generous amount of peanut butter across the pancakes. He shuddered as he
watched the process he had witnessed so many times through the years of
touring with him.
“That is so gross, but at least it’s protein, so that’s good I guess,” Brian
pointed out.
Stuffing a wad of pancakes into his mouth, Nick nodded.
“It’s good seeing you eat.”
Picking up a strip of bacon, Nick shook his head. “Ya know, I thought I’d
never live long enough to hear those words come from anyone of you guys.”
Thinking about those words, Brian’s smile faded. “We were mean to you
picking on you about your weight all the time.”
Nick’s eyes locked with Brian’s. “Don’t stress over it, life’s too short, forget
about it.”
“I know,” Brian said wistfully.
“So what did Lee go shopping for?” Nick questioned, desperate to change the
subject.
Brian groaned. “She said she needed to look for more baby things. I swear
that woman is obsessed with shopping.”
“I agree,” Nick grinned.
“At the rate she’s going, I’ll be broke by the end of the month, we’re gonna
have to start touring again pretty soon or I’ll have to file for bankruptcy.”
Nick quickly piled his silverware ontop of the unfinished pancakes and
scooted his chair back on the tiled floor.
“Oh shit, Nick, I’m sorry, I was just joking,” Brian quickly apologized.
“Don’t worry, I’m okay, I’m just done eating,” he reassured.
“Are you sure?” Brian asked questionably. “You barely touched anything on
your plate.”
“Positive.”
“I wasn’t thinking when I said touring--”
Nick sighed as he scraped his plate and quickly rinsed it off. “Brian, would
you stop it? It’s okay. I’m planning on working again when I can.” Mumbling to
himself, he added “if I live long enough.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” Nick lied. He turned and leaned against the counter. “I talked to
Howie last night.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “We talked about the old times together and then touring
and I started to wonder if I could ever do that again,” Nick said pensively. “I
kinda lost it and bit his head off at first, I hope he didn’t get hurt by it.”
“Nick, I’m sure Howie’s okay. God, what you’re dealing with you have the
right to fly off the handle from time to time.”
“I guess I really need to talk to all of them about this, don’t I?”
“You do,” Brian agreed. “But only when you’re ready and only on your terms.”
Nick pushed himself away from the counter. “It’s now or never, I guess.”
Brian followed Nick into the livingroom where the rest of the guys were
setting. AJ and Howie were on the couch watching tv while Kevin sat in a
brown leather recliner chair, reading a novel.
“Gilligan’s Island? God you guys must really be bored,” Nick joked as he took
a seat on the couch.
Howie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, that’s what I get forced to watch when
Bone has the remote.”
“Hey, it’s classic television,” AJ defended, laying his prize ontop of the
endtable. Howie reached over in front of the man and snatched the
controller.
“It’s mine now!” he whooped.
“God no!” AJ rasped, fighting Howie for the device. “There’s no way I’m
gonna sit here and watch Wallstreet Week!”
Kevin lowered his book, eyeing the two men that were wrestling on the couch
like two teenagers. “Guys,” he growled a low warning.
Nick shook his head, grinning. Kevin was always the parental one of the
group. The guys respected him but they also feared him. Although Kevin
never showed any violent side to his personality, there was always that
chance that it could show up and no one wanted to be on the receiving end of
it when it appeared.
Nick’s face suddenly grew serious. “I think we need to talk about what’s
going on with me.”
Howie immediately switched the television off, Kevin laid his book down. It
was a subject that hadn’t really been openly discussed yet mainly because no
one wanted to address it. They all had their own feelings about what was
going on with Nick, but kept them inside.
Running the palms of his hands back and forth on the tops of his thighs,
Nick sighed nervously. “This is kinda hard to talk about.”
Brian patted Nick on the shoulder. “Just take your time.”
“Well, I guess you probably know that I’ve been sick since we were in Japan,
and that doc over there said I had the mumps, but I guess it was the real
first time that the cancer symptoms were in full force and I was ignorning
them. I told the guy what he wanted to hear I suppose and he ran with that.
I was being stupid--”
“You weren’t being stupid Nick,” Howie interrupted.
“I was,” Nick continued. “To be honest with you, this has been going on with
me much longer than Japan. I just ignored the warnings that something was
wrong. You guys were always saying I was a hypochondriac so I just pushed
away a lot of what was going on with me.” Nick paused, looking at the faces
of his friends. “But I’m not blaming you,” he quickly added.
AJ cleared his throat before asking hesitantly. “So, what exactly is going on
then? Like what are the docs saying?”
“Well, I had tests done after I came back from Cali being at the AMA show
with Kevin. I had surgery--”
“You had an operation and no one was told about it?” AJ snapped
incrediously.
“It was a scope thing,” Nick explained. “Nothing major. Anyway, they said I
had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, stage 3, high grade. It means I have an
eighty-five percent chance of beating this within a five year time frame if
my body responds to the chemo and radiation therapy.”
“And it is, right?” Howie questioned.
“Well, yeah and no, they started doing chemo quicker than Dr. Andersen
wanted to because the tumor was growing a little faster on the spleen I
guess. That explains why I my stomach looks fat. Once it shrinks I guess she
wants to take my spleen out. It’s infected.”
“It’s working though, right?” AJ pressed.
Nick managed a tight grin. “I hope so.” He paused again as he took in the
expressions of his brothers. AJ and Howie sat on the couch, looking stunned.
Brian had already known a little about what was going on with Nick but he
was still fighting tears in his eyes. Kevin had a stoic look on his face. He
looked unattached from the situation, but Kevin usually had a habit of hiding
his feelings. Nick theorized it was because of the cancer and that Kevin
could relate to it from his own father. He quickly pasted a broad smile on his
face. “It’s going to be okay, let’s just take this one day at a time.”
AJ leaned over towards Nick and wrapped his young brother in a tight hug.
“I’m here for you Kaos.”
“Thanks.”
~*~*~*~*~
Nick was laying on the couch after taking another one of his daily naps. The
guys had told him they were going out to check up on a few friends since
they were in the area but Nick knew that wasn’t the truth and he wasn’t
going to press them for the answer. He knew they were going to discuss
what was going on with the stall in recording with management.
All Nick had asked of the men once he talked to them was to keep the
cancer quiet and not to discuss it with anyone. They gave him their word and
he trusted them.
Other than feeling drained, today was actually a good day for him. He had
been able to eat a little breakfast and he kept it down and the mouth sores
weren’t plaguing him like they had. Tomorrow would be another chemo day
and Nick dreaded that. He wished all of this was over - one way or the other.
The doorbell chiming pulled Nick from his thoughts.
“Who the hell could that be coming here unannounced?” Nick wondered
outloud to himself. He quickly smiled when he decided it was Leighanne
coming back from her shopping trip.
He slowly raised his body off the couch. Grinning he started to pulled the
door open. “Did you forget your key again?”
His smile dropped from his lips when he was met face to face with the last
person on earth he expected to see standing at his front door.