The idea for this story came from the song "Angel" By Amanda Perez. Read and review! Enjoy!
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Part 1

Love completely sucks. It seems like everytime I find someone that I think is capable of loving me for who I am and not what I do, something happens. I'd hate to think that it was because she woke up and realized that she could do better. I'm a good guy, I try to take care of the people that are close to me. A year ago, you could have asked me what love was and I would have given you some answer that I thought was right, but I really would have been making it up as I went along based on things that I've seen and thought I did know. I would have babbled on, not really knowing what I was talking about. Now, if you were to ask me that same question, I could give you an honest answer straight from my heart. Over a years time, I've loved and lost.

I've heard people say that everyone has a soulmate. That there is someone out there for everyone. I found her. Yeah, I know you're thinking, 'well, what's the problem?' Well the problem is, she's gone. Not gone gone, she dumped me. It came out of seemingly no where. She just said it one day and walked out before I even had a chance to realize what had happened. Werid isn't it? You could go from being the happiest person on the planet to being completely heartbroken in a matter of seconds. I didn't think that was possible in my case. Considering I've never really taken the concept of love seriously, it's strange that I can be so affected by it.

I realize that people change, because I know that I have. This woman just happened to come into my life and changed everything. Things were finally looking up in my life. At that point in my life, I was considerably insecure about a lot of things. Music was my only mean of escape and I think that's what made me the man that I am today and her..... she made me who I am. God, I just can't get her out of my mind. Everything that I think about somehow leads me to think about her again. I know that I should just move on and let go, but I can't. How do you forget almost a year of your life? One of the best years at that?

I've replayed the last few nights of our relationship in my mind over and over again. Nothing seemed wrong. Tara didn't say anything to me that would make me believe that she had something on her mind or that she was about to end our relationship. What I had with her was special, it was unique, unlike anything else I had ever felt in my life. I was consumed by the love that I had for her. I would have done anything for her and I mean anything. I would have taken a bullet for her, anything. Look where that got me.. home alone brokenhearted.

It's been five months since you went away
Left without a word and nothing to say
When I was the one who gave you my heart and soul
But it wasn't good enough for you, no
So I asked God

This was why that I never got involved in the first place. I was too afraid to get hurt. When it comes to my heart and being in love, I'm very vulernable. I'm not quick to let people into my life let alone into my heart. It takes awhile for the trust to build so that we could even just be friends. With Tara that was different. I opened up to her right away. There was just something about her that I knew made her different from every other girl out there. From the second that I met her, I could feel the vibes between us. If that's not love at first sight, then what is? Actually, I really don't believe in love at first sight. How can you love someone by just looking at them? You can't get into the soul of someone by just looking at them. You have to get to know them, love them for who they are so that you don't have a relationship based only on looks. Yeah, that might be good for awhile but then things start to get boring and you start longing for something more. Trust me, I've been there once or twice.

Love was something that I had actually felt before. I've been hurt so many times I've become numb to almost all emotion. It's scary to think that I could have ended up walking around not giving a damn about anything that happened. Never being happy, or anything. What kind of life would that have been? I wanted to feel things, but now I wished that I couldn't. It wouldn't be this hard that way. I shut my eyes as I laid down on the couch and I saw Tara's beautiful face.

God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes

Damn she was perfect for me. Thinking back on the eleven months that we were together, the longest consistant relationship that I ever had mind you, I can't see what I did wrong. We moved so slow because I didn't want her to think that I was using her. Ironic isn't it? I was worried about appearing as if I was using someone. The things love makes us do. It changed my entire outlook on life. I went from fearing the most special emotion to embracing it. All because of her.

You would think that the career that I have would have built up myself esteem. Yeah, sure, I wish it had. I've spent the last ten years of my life wondering about what people really thought about me and who were really my friends. It surprises most people when I tell them that I feel unloved. 'How can someone as popular as you are, go unloved?' they all ask. Easy, all those girls that are screaming my name, they basically mean nothing. If my entire career was to end tomorrow, they would all forget about me. I don't doubt that for one second.

Besides, they can't actually love me. It's impossible. They've gotten to know my stage persona, not the person that really am, the real Nick. He's nothing like the Nick you think you know. he's withdrawn, fearful of what others think. I know that's stupid, but I just can't help it. It really doesn't matter what other people think of me, I understand that, but tell that to my heart. I've had to endore insult upon insult and you know what, it hurts. No matter how hard I attempt to ignore what people are saying about me, it always gets to me.

That's really not the point I was trying to make. I was trying to say how fucked up love is. Yeah, I think it's nothing but a load of shit. I mean if love was so grand, why am I in so much pain right now? Why am I hurting as much as I am? I'll tell you why, it was because I was stupid to believe that I had found a decent person in this world. I let her into my private space. She had complete access to everything that I am. Stupid decision, right? Who knew who she really was. With my luck, she's probably some reporter ready to spill all of the private, intimate emotions that I shared with her.

I should have never let her into my heart. That was my original intention. It always is. No woman is worth having to go through this pain for. Something made me change my mind and now I regret it. I regret being so stupid. I actually loved this woman. It was the first relationship that I was in the I could have honestly said that I loved the person I was with. It tears away at me to think that she didn't feel the same way. I could have sworn she did.

And I know it might sound crazy
But after all that I still love you
You wanna come back in my life
But now there is something I have to do
I have to tell the one that I once adored
That they can't have my love no more
Cause my heart can't take no more lies
And my eyes are all out of cries

The way she looked at me... touched me. Probably imagined it all. She couldn't have loved me if she willingly walked out on me like she did. What I thought I felt between the two of us must have just been my imagination running wild. That was it... I convinced myself that it was real so that I wouldn't have to deal with the fact that in reality, she didn't care about me. I've always created these imaginary worlds in my mind.

It started when I was younger. An idea would come to me and I would carry it out, no matter how strange everyone around me thought it was. I'd always found peace in doing this. It like was I had found a place that was just for me and no one else was allowed to enter it and shake the balance. I was safe from criticism. When I was in my peaceful place, criticism didn't exist. There was really no need for it because everyone was accepted for who they were.

Innocent wasn't I? Those days have long left me. I've grown and learned the ways of the world. As the years went by, I learned just how farfetched my dream world was. People became corupt. I had convinced myself that there were hardly any people out there worth caring for. Decentcy was slowly diminishing. Then there was Tara. She sparked a new hope inside of me. Hope that there are still good people in this world and I shouldn't give up. Look how that went. I'm right back where I started. Lonely and cynical.

My eyes shot open when I heard the phone ring. Had Tara decided to return my countless phone calls finally? I jumped up from the couch and ran towards the phone. I'll be damned if I missed the phone call that might bring the love of my life back to me.

"Tara?" I answered hopefully.

"No, it's AJ," was the answer. Damn AJ, I thought. Why couldn't he just leave me alone right now. The only one that I wanted to talk to was Tara but she obviously didn't want to talk to me.

"What do you want?" I asked bitterly as I made my way back to the couch and dropped down onto it. I wanted this phone call to be a quick one.

"Still bummed huh?" he asked. No fucking duh AJ. It's not like I'm jumping for joy over here. How the hell else would I feel??

"What do you think?"

"Nick, I need to tell you something..." AJ said as he trailed off. My heart stopped. What could be possibly need to tell me? I swear if he was sleeping with Tara or was the reason that she broke up with me, I'll kill him so fucking fast he won't know what hit him.

"Okay," I answered. I waited but he didn't say anything. Definately not a good sign. "AJ I swear to God if you had anything to do with our break-up....."

"That's not it Nick," he interupted me. I was somewhat relieved, even though I didn't let AJ know that.
"Then what is it?" I asked hastily.

"I shouldn't have done this cause if Kev finds out I got in the middle of this he'll be pissed but I called Tara. We talked for a little while. She brought a one way ticket to California. She leaves in two days. Her flight's at noon and she'll be leaving from Gate 27."

"She's.... leaving," I stuttered. I only had two days to make her fall in love with me again. I would do anything that it took to bring her back to me.

"Yeah," AJ answered reluctantly. "I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that you have to do what is right for you. Whatever that is for you. Just make sure you know what you're doing."

"Is she staying at her place?" I asked egarly.

"Yeah," he answered quietly.

"AJ... did she...." I started, I took a moment and then started again. "Did she tell you why she broke up with me AJ?"

"No, she wouldn't tell me. Sorry."

"No, it's okay AJ. Thank you," I replied. He was giving me another chance.

"Good luck man. Let me know what goes down," he said.

"Yeah, sure," I answered. "Talk to you later."

"C ya Nicky," AJ answered as he hung up the phone. Now what I did from here was up to me.

Part 2

I didn't sleep at all last night. No matter what I did, I just couldn't seem to relax. Maybe it was the fact that I knew I only had days left to convince Tara not to leave me forever. That would put any guy on edge. Everytime I walked past the phone, I picked it up and started to dial her number, but before I could finish, I slammed it back down. I had dialed the whole number once but hung up after the first ring. I had no idea what I was going to say to her.

Should I tell her that I knew about the plane ticket? Or should I wait to see if she tells me herself? I knew she wouldn't tell me though. She would have just left without saying anything. I know that much because if she had any intentions of telling me, she would have called. I sighed as I saw the sun started to peak up from behind the hills. It was morning already. She was going to be leaving tomorrow afternoon, walking out of my life forever.

The more that I thought about it, the harder my decision became. Surprising huh? Wouldn't you think that going after her would be the only thing that I wanted to? Well it was for awhile. Then I really thought about it. Isn't a part of love letting the person that you love more than anything do what they want to be happy? Tara always supported my music career, so why shouldn't I support her? True, I had no idea what she was doing but I knew that she had to be doing it because something in her heart was telling her to.

God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes

I don't understand why she just couldn't tell me what it was. That really would have made a huge difference. I wouldn't be sitting here right now wondering what was going through her mind. Where she was going or what she was going to do when she got there. Questions I wasn't sure if I was ever going to have the answers to. Tara was the only one that could answer them.

I laid down on my bed... the bed that Tara and I had shared so many nights. I swear I could still smell her. Her vanilla perfume was still present on her pillow. A scent that I hoped would linger there for a long time. It helped some of the loneliness subside. It was really all that I had left of her. I shut my eyes and let the scent take over me. When I opened my eyes again, hours had past. It was four in the afternoon. Less than a day away from watching Tara walk out of my life.

Quickly, I jumped out of my bed. While I was asleep, I had dreamed of what life for me would be without her. To say the least, I was miserable. That was all the convincing that I needed. I couldn't let her go. Not this way, not like this. I ran out of the house, only stopping to grab my car keys. I was driving so fast that everything seemed as if it were a blur to me. Not that anything mattered to me. I just wanted to have Tara back and I would stop at nothing until she was mine again.

It wasn't long until I pulled into the familar area in which Tara lived. I let out a long sigh when I saw drops of rain starting to hit the windsheild. Rain wasn't going to stop me nothing was. Shit, I thought when I heard these strange noises coming from my car. Then suddenly, it just stopped.

"Shit," I cursed to myself. Tara didn't live too far from here. If I ran to her house I shouldn't get too wet. Powered by my love, I hurryedly abandoned my car and started to run down the streets. I was getting soaked but I didn't care. That was the least of my worries. Honestly, I can't tell you what kept me moving. I was so exusted before I was even half way to her house but my pace never slowed.

There was no way that I was going to miss Tara. I know I had all day but I wanted to spend as much time talking to her as I could. Hoping that I would be able to stop her powered me. My feet were pounding the pavement as I ran. Tears began to build in my eyes. It was at that point that I realized just how scared I was to lose her. Everything seemed so clear to me. This was my destiny. Tara was my destiny.

My heart was pounding as I neared Tara's house. This was it, whatever happened from here would determine the rest of my our lives. Never had I been faced with such an important decision. Sure the group was a major thing but that would all end one day, but what I have with Tara will never fade. It will always be there. I just hoped that I would be able to talk her into staying.

I ran up the steps of her pourch and then pounded on her door. I was panting and my clothes were clinging to my body, and I was cold, but I didn't care. I felt the cool water run down my face as I waited for Tara to come to the door. When she opened it, she froze. She hadn't expected to see me.

"Tara..." I whispered.

"Nick, you're soaking wet," she said, "come in, let me get you a towel." I smiled as I looked deep into her eyes and stepped into the house. God, I missed her so much. Silently she walked down the hall and returned with a towel for me.

"Thanks," I said. She looked at me for a minutes before saying anything.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I had to see you. I had to talk to you," I said despirately. I didn't care how I sounded. She had to know how I felt. She took a deep breath and shut her eyes. "Why? Why did you leave me?" She looked at me and considered my question for a while before answering.

"Nick please don't do this to me."

"Do this to you!!" I yelled, for some reason I was angered, "do you know how much I've been hurting since you left. How could you do that to me!?"

"Look, our lives are going in different directions," was her answer. I stared at her. "I don't know where I stand with you any more."

"How could you not know? I love you more than anything," I answered, shocked by what she had said. I loved her, I thought she knew. "You were what kept me going."

Now you had me on my knees
Begging God please to send you back to me
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep
You made me feel like I could not breathe
Now all I wanted to do was to feel your touch
And give you all my love
But you took my love for granted
Want my lovin' now
But you can't have it
God

"Things have changed since we first got together," she explained as I kept my eyes locked on her. "I'm not the same person that I was."

"Neither am I. Tara you taught me how to love. You made me a better person," I said to her. I'm sure she saw the pain in my eyes because she looked away from me. I felt tears starting to build again. Tara was the only girl that I would let see me cry like this.

"Look Nick, you were my real first love. I want you to know that," she stated. "You mean so much to me."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because I can't handle it."

"Handle what?" I asked as I moved closer to her. She looked up at me. Her eyes were beginning to fill with tears as well.

"Being so much in love and not knowing what to do," she confessed.

"It's alright to be scared baby," I said, "because I know how you feel. The thought of finding the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with scared the shit out of me too at first, but it's going to be okay, I promise."

"I love you Nick," she whispered before she kissed me. Damn I missed her kisses. They were so loving and gentle. Before either of us could think, we were in the bedroom making love.

God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes

When I opened my eyes and looked around the room, I saw no sign of Tara. I grabbed my boxers and started to walk through the house. "Tara?" I called but recieved no answer. As I walked into the kitchen, I found a note : 'Thank you for one last night. As much as I love you, I don't think that I can be with you right now. I promise when I'm ready, I'll be back. Lots of Love, Tara.' The note fell from my hand. She'd left.

Oh God, send me (God send me an angel)
An angel (wipe the tears from my eyes) Oh baby
Send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel (God send me an angel)
From being in love (send me an angel)
Oh God, send me an angel
Send me an angel (send me an angel)
Ooohhhh..

*Song Lyrics By Amanda Perez "Angel"