Prologue - February 1996

Jaidyn sat alone in an alley, her back against the wall of an Orlando nightclub. She stared blankly at the dumpster opposite her, her arms resting on her knees, a lit cigarette hanging between her fingers. She makes no motions, except to raise the cigarette to her mouth every few seconds. Breathe in, breathe out.

That’s how she was when he found her. Emotionless and unmoving. The darkness of the night engulfing her, making her seem like a scared child and not the strong 19-year-old young woman that she is and that he knew she could be.

He walked softly and slowly down the alley and stood beside her, awkwardly for a second more before motioning to her cigarette. “That’s a bad habit.” It was the first thing out of his mouth and he could’ve killed himself for it.

She didn’t respond, just took another drag to let her actions speak for her.

Dumbass! he cursed at himself. That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Dumbass! Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass!! He ran his hand through his blonde hair and bit his lip. Do something besides stand there, dumbass! He shifted his weight from foot to foot before sitting down beside her.

It was silent, the only sound being the pounding base that leaked out from the club behind them. He shifts again. It was awkward and uncomfortable alone with her in the dark. Why? Maybe because he had been becoming extremely aware of the four year age difference between them recently. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to make him feel more like a child than he really was. He seemed to always find his words failing him. He never knew what to do or say, but he knew he wanted her to see him as something other than that stupid kid that she was practically attached at the hip with. Say something…Do something… his mind urged. He hesitantly wrapped his arm around her and gently stroked her back. She still didn’t move, which was good—she wasn’t going to lash out—and bad—she wasn’t going to do much of anything. After a short moment of debating he decided to speak. And it wasn’t some stupid I’m-trying-to-be-funny-to-lighten-the-mood-but-I’m-failing-miserably kind of comment like his ‘That’s a bad habit’ bit from earlier. It was something intelligent and wiser than his 15 years.

“Jade…” he began, finally finding his voice. He looked down and nervously picked at his shirt. Why was his heart racing? “I know you’re upset because I wasn’t here and because of what happened, but…but you can either let it bring you down hard, or let it be something that just makes you stronger…”

If he had a dime for every time Kevin had told him that…well he would definitely be a little richer. It was something that the older man had said so many times over the past couple years, when it seemed like the group would fail. All the times when their music bombed on the charts, or when stations wouldn’t pick up their tracks. When they had to cancel their U.S. promo tour because there wasn’t enough interest. When ever they felt like absolute crap…that’s what would come out of his mouth. Ever the optimist. Determined that they would make it. Now Nick was determined that Jaidyn would make it. She would pull out of this funk just like she’s done before.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, huh?” He was surprised to hear her hoarse voice come out of the darkness. His words had brought her crashing back to reality and out of the numb state she had been in. She blinked back the tears that were welling in her eyes. “I just…I feel so horrible for being such a bitch to him…I never got to tell him…tell him that I was sorry…before he…” She bowed her head and he could see her shaking, trying so hard to fight the tears. He instinctively pulled her closer to him.

“Jade…” he gently whispered and reached out to brush a tear away.

“It’s all right, Nick. I’m fine.” She said and stood up suddenly, wiping her wet cheeks. She tossed her cigarette on the ground and smashed it under her foot before outstretching her hand to him. “Come on, Carter.” She offered him a weak smile that he didn’t accept, but he took her hand anyway and she pulled him to his feet. “Let’s get outta here.”

Chapter One

I hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me want to cry…

Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

Christmas 1981

Thunder clapped loudly, startling five-year-old Jaidyn awake.

Biting her lip, she immediately got out of bed and wandered over to the window, excitement rising as she expected to see rain pouring down outside. Something about thunderstorms fascinated her. She always sat and watched them, especially when she spent the summer at her grandparents’ lake house. She loved to watch the way the sky turned weird colors, transforming as the clouds got thicker and thicker before finally bursting and pelting the earth with rain. She would smile and her heart would pound as she sat in her grandfathers’ lap, his arms around her tiny waist, staring at the storm with the same knowing smile and awe in his eyes.

But the only thing she saw coming down from the sky was the pure white snow that had been falling since the day before. She could barely make out the lumpy form of the snowman her and her father had built earlier that day, the snow was coming down so hard and so fast, and yet so silent.

Then she heard the thunder again. But this time it was inside her house. Thunder did not come inside. She looked out the window once more, utterly confused at what was going on. Sucking on her bottom lip, she listened more carefully, holding her breath. It was now that she could hear the raised voices coming from downstairs. She wondered what could possibly be going on. The last thing she heard before she fell asleep were the melodic sounds of her fathers’ guitar and laughter that drifted up from down below. She didn’t know how much time had passed, but how could things change while she was asleep?

She crept out of her room, her feet instinctively playing with the soft carpet that stretched throughout most of the house. She liked it a lot more than the cold hardwood floor that was in her room. The voices escalated and were followed by a loud crash that ripped Jaidyn out her preoccupation with the carpet. She curiously followed the sound, going down the stairs and ending up in the living room which was, to put it lightly, quite trashed. There were empty glasses and beer bottles littering the floor and the tables and…pretty much everywhere. Wrapping paper and ribbons were thrown where ever, all of it left over from the Christmas party her parents had thrown. The tree which had been propped up neatly in the corner now slumped slightly to one side, and it had been redecorated with bottle cap and beer tab garland.

She gingerly stepped over the trash on the floor, her long nightgown swishing around her feet. She paused by the coffee table and picked up one of the big glasses that had a small puddle of eggnog at the bottom. Bringing it to her nose, she sniffed the liquid and immediately turned her head, sticking out her tongue. Ick. She sat the glass back down and followed the trail of debris throughout the house.

She stopped at the door to the basement. The raised voices were loudest here, and they most definitely belonged to her parents. She opened the door and quietly descended the stairs.

Curiosity killed the cat, or so they say. But then again, Jaidyn was too young to know.

“Corinne, will you just calm down?”

“No I will not, Will! How could you DO this?!”

Her fathers gruff, soothing voice contrasted strikingly to her mothers’ high, shrill shrieks. Jaidyn perched herself on the bottom step and peeked around the corner. Her mother had a black plastic trash bag in one hand and a glass in the other. She waved the trash bag around maniacally each time she screamed as if somehow it could emphasize her point.

“Do what?! Corinne, we’ve being going around in circles all night. Will you just tell me what has got you so pissed off?”

“The record exec!” She replied exasperated, yet still shrill.

“That is what this is about? You’re pissed because I turned down a record deal?”

“Yes! That IS what this is about! How.could.you.just.say.NO?!” She threw the glass she was holding to the ground, as she said ‘no’. Her father was silent for a moment, just staring at her mother. Jaidyn had never seen her mother like this before—her hair was a mess and her eyes were wild—thoroughly scaring the young girl.

“Corinne, you need to calm down. You’re over-reacting.” He paused. “You’re drunk. Why don’t we just go upstairs…” He reached out for her and she swung her arm out of his grasp.

“No! Not after you just threw our life away! What we’ve been working at forever!”

“Excuse me, our life?” Corinne froze.

“…The music, Will.” She said, sounding unsure, her words faltering. “You’re really just going to stop?”

“Corinne, we talked about this! The music stopped being top priority when our daughter was born!”

Corinnes’ eyes widened. She was so angry she seemed not to have a response. Will fixed his glare on her.

“Somehow, Corinne, I think this isn’t about me or the music or even our.daughter. This is about you. You and the money…and…and the parties. For fuck’s sake, look around you, Corinne!”

“Fuck you.” Her mother spat.

Jaidyn backed against the wall, biting down on her lip to keep from crying. Was this fight about her? She had definitely been mentioned…What was going on? She slowly retreated back through her house to her room and curled up under her covers, never making a sound as tears rolled silently down her cheek.

This thunderstorm was not a pleasant one…


Lyrics: Wonderful © Everclear