A.N.: I was listening to Gone Without Goodbye & the story just about struck me down - thank God I was sitting. Enjoy! Disclaimer: Only own Kenzie, firefighters, & story idea. BSB own themselves, as does Leighanne & Kristin. Note: Song is Gone Without Goodbye by Brian Littrell.

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Have you seen my son? Not too tall, 5’8” She held up a colour copy photograph From his wedding day And this is his pregnant wife Carrying his last dream He walked down 46 floors before he felt the rush The rush of gasoline

“Excuse me, Sir? Have you seen this man?”

“Ma’am, I’m going to hafta ask you to get behind the yellow line,” the firefighter told her firmly.

“Please! You don’t understand!” The woman exclaimed. “My son is in that building! He called us and said he was coming here for a meeting!”

The firefighter paused to give her a sympathetic look. “Ma’am, please. We’re trying to do our best to get this fire put out.” He didn’t dare mention that they weren’t succeeding very well.

“Have they seen him?” A blond woman asked, coming up to them.

The older woman looked to the firefighter again, a desperate look upon her face. “Have you seen him? He’s not too tall, about 5’8.” She shoved the wedding photo into his face some.

“Ma’am, I…”

“This is his wife,” the woman went on, signaling to the blond woman. “She’s pregnant with their first child. She needs him to be here, when she has the baby next month. He’s always dreamed of having a family of his own.”

“Everybody out!” The Chief firefighter yelled. “It’s gonna blow!” Everybody scrambled away from the burning building as fast as they could.

The firefighter quickly shoved the two women back, and to the ground just in time, as the building exploded, killing whoever may’ve been left inside. ~~~~~~~~~~

Brian Littrell had come to the building for a meeting, to discuss his plans for a solo album, while the group was on a much needed break. He’d arrived early enough to grab a donut and coffee before the meeting – he’d even had time to call his wife and mother at his house, and told them he shouldn’t be too long if the meeting went well. He’d promised to pick up a few items on the way home as well, so that they wouldn’t have to go out. He’d just sat down in the office, to wait for the executives, when he heard the fire alarms go off.

“What the…?” He trailed off, looking confused. Why in the world would the fire alarms be going off? Was there some sort of fire drill he wasn’t aware of?

He stood up as he saw someone run by the door. “What’s…?”

“FIRE!!!” The man shouted. “FIRE!!! EVERYBODY OUT!!!”

Brian’s eyes went wide, as he glanced out the window. Oh, how he hated heights! He was on the very top floor, as that was where the meetings were to be held for today. And on this floor, there were no fire escapes – they stopped about three floors down.

“Oh, Lord,” he gasped; quickly running out of the room after the man had run by. He had to get out! He had to get back to his wife!

He ran about frantically, trying to figure out the fastest way down and out of the building. He opted for the stairs, knowing elevators weren’t the safest things to use during a fire. He walked down them carefully, trying not to be trampled by others running hastily by.

He’d walked down God knows how many flights of stairs, when he was suddenly hit with a sickening odor – one that made him gag in disgust.

“Oh, God,” he thought, tears filling his eyes. “I’m not going to get out of here.”

He quickly pulled out his phone, needing to call his wife and hear her voice one last time. Much to his dismay, he wasn’t able to get a signal because of the blistering heat. He angrily stuffed the phone back into his pants pocket, and pulled out his wallet. Once he’d had it opened, he pulled out a photo of him and Leighanne that had been taken the month before. The two of them were smiling happily, and he’d his arms wrapped around her pregnant stomach.

The tears in his eyes pooled out and down before he’d a chance to even think of stopping them. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and stared at the photo.

“I love you, Leigh,” he whispered softly to the photo. He kissed her smiling face, then ran his fingers over her stomach. “Daddy loves you too, Baylee.” He kissed the photo again.

He wiped his eyes once more and looked around, deciding his best bet was to go back up a floor or two and look for a fire escape. He’d lived through a rare blood infection and a heart surgery, and he sure as Hell didn’t plan on dying now – not after all he’d been through in his twenty-seven years of life! He held onto the picture tight, as he hurried on back up the stairwell as fast as he could. He wound up on an empty floor – Lord knew where all the other people had gone. Maybe they’d been smart enough to use the fire escapes in the first place.

“Sweet Jesus!” Brian exclaimed, finally finding a room with a fire escape. He was going to make it!

He heard a sizzling sound then, and turned to look behind him to see what it was, instead of running for the window to make his great escape. He felt his eyes widen and his heart drop to his stomach, as he realized the flames had reached the gas. He took one last glance down at the photo clasped tightly in his left hand, as the building exploded and his world went black.

I can feel the pain Looking in her eyes But I don’t know gone without good-bye If I could reach the sky I’d bring him right back to your arms Though I haven’t seen your son, he’s forever in my life

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A.N.: There's more to come! Promise! I just need a few more reviews first! Thanks!

Have you seen my little girl? She’s got curly black hair She took this Raggedy-Anne doll everywhere Last I saw her over there Then I heard a choir of screams And a speeding van I watched his tears pour down A father’s last attempt of being a rational man

“Daddy? C’n we go to the park?”

“Sure, Baby,” Kevin Richardson answered, smiling down at his little girl. He and his wife, Kristin, had finally had their little dream come true. She was five, and as sweet as could be. She was also the spitting image of him, with her black hair and emerald eyes – though, where her curls came from was beyond them.

“C’n we go now, Daddy?”

Kevin chuckled. “Of course we can go now, Sweetie. Go get your jacket.”

The little one squealed with delight, running into the house to retrieve her jacket from the front hall coat rack. She returned moments later, with her windbreaker on over her green sundress.

Kevin scooped his baby girl up and gave her a kiss, and a tight squeeze.

The little girl squirmed and giggled, as the hug turned into tickles. “Daddy! That tickles!”

Kevin laughed, and set her back upon the ground.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Baby?”

“C’n I invites Brian to comes play?”

Kevin smiled at the mention of Nick’s two-year-old, that had been named after his beloved cousin. “Sure, Honey. You can go ahead and ask. But remember to look for cars on your way over, okay?”

She nodded, grinning up at her father. He was her hero and everybody knew it; just like everybody knew just how much she loved little Brian.

Kevin stood watching proudly as she stopped at the curb to look for cars. Nicky only lived across the street, so that was the only reason why she was allowed to cross alone after being given permission to go.

She turned and waved to her Daddy, a bright smile upon her face and her Raggedy-Ann doll clutched tightly in her hand.

Kevin chuckled and waved back, unable to help the smile that spread across his face. She was his little Princess, and would always be, no matter how old she got.

He heard people screaming then, and looked just in time to see a speeding van come careening around the corner. He felt his heart stop as he went to move, but was unable to get his feet to co-operate. He watched in complete, utter horror, as his pride and joy was run down by a vehicle that never once stopped.

“KENZIE!!!” ~~~~~~~~~~

Nick came running into the Hospital, as he’d heard Kevin’s pitiful cry from inside his house. He’d been mortified to open his front door and see little Kenzie lying unconscious on the ground, her father freaking out at her side.

“Kevin!” He called out, spotting the man he considered his older brother. Kristin wasn’t there, as she was in New York, filming a T.V. episode. Though, she was trying to find a flight home at that very moment. “How is she? What happened?”

Kevin looked up at Nick, tears in his emerald eyes. “I let her go, Nick,” he said flatly. “I shouldn’t have let her go!”

“Go where?” Nick asked confused.

“She wanted Brian to come to the park,” Kevin answered softly, as a Doctor came out then.

“Excuse me, Mr. Richardson?” The Doctor spoke softly.

Kevin’s head snapped up, as did Nick’s. “How – how is she?”

The Doctor looked grim, as he spoke words no parent ever wants to hear. “I’m sorry. We did the best we could. She’d too much head trauma and internal bleeding.”

Kevin just stared at the man blankly, as he was handed the Raggedy-Ann doll she’d been holding, the last time he’d seen her alive.

“Kev?” Nick said quietly, tears blocking his own vision, though he was trying to be strong for the man that stood before him.

“Why’d you hafta live across the street, Nick? Why?” Kevin cried desperately.

Nick swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew what the older man was indicating, but he also knew he couldn’t blame him for it either. “I’m sorry….”

Kevin let loose a sob, as he collapsed back into the chair he’d been sitting in before Nick had come running to his side. His shoulders shook with each racking sob, as he hugged the Raggedy-Ann doll covered in her blood, tightly to his chest.

Though I can feel the pain Look into his eyes But I don’t know gone without good-bye If I could reach the sky I’d bring her right back to your arms Though I haven’t seen your girl, she’s forever in my life

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A.N.: Reviews are very much appreciated! Thank-you!

Mm mm, Ohh And have you seen my faith? It can run, it can hide Jesus, mend this breaking heart of mine It keeps our love alive Though I can feel the pain Look into my eyes But I don’t know gone without good-bye

“What’s the point?” A dark-haired man muttered to himself, holding the glass of brownish liquid in his hands. He was just about to take a gulp, when a voice stopped him.

“Alex, it’s not the answer,” a shorter dark-haired man spoke.

“Then what the Hell is, Howie?” A.J. demanded angrily. “We’ve seen horrible shit happen to two of our brothers, and all you can say, is that this isn’t the answer?”

Howie sighed, taking the seat next to A.J. and sitting down. “Those couldn’t have been helped. There was nothing we could’ve done.”

“I could’ve stayed sober, so there would’ve been no break,” A.J. stated. “If there’d been no break, Brian wouldn’t have been there to discuss a solo album.”

“Aje, you can’t blame yourself for that,” Howie told him sincerely. “It wasn’t your fault. And who’s to say we wouldn’t have had the break anyway? We were all worn and sick of touring by then.”

A.J. fiddled with the glass of Jack Daniels in his hand. “What about Kev, huh? He didn’t do shit to nobody. Hell, he saved my ass even. All he did was let his little girl cross the street to get Nick, and the next thing he knew she was gone – just like his cousin.”

“The man was drunk – though that doesn’t excuse him in the least,” Howie reminded his troubled friend. “Kevin will never forgive you, if you start drinking again now.”

“Who the f*ck says I even care, Howie!” A.J. snapped.

“If you didn’t care, you would’ve drank that long ago,” Howie pointed out. “I know you Alex. We’ve been best friends all these years. I know what you think and how you work.”

A.J. sighed heavily, shoving the glass away from him in frustration. “I just – I don’t know what to do anymore, D. I feel so helpless being unable to do anything to make it the way it used to be, before that fire.”

“Just have faith in God,” Howie replied. “Only He knows why these things happen. Things don’t always happen, for us to sit here and dwell on why they happened.”

“I don’t think I’ve any faith left.”

“Why not?”

“Rok had faith, and look where it got him!” A.J. exclaimed. “He got blown up like a mound of dirt that’d been hit by a land mine!”

“But look at all he’d been through before all that,” Howie reminded his troubled friend. “His faith is what kept him going. He knew God wouldn’t take him while he still had work left to do here.”

“He never even got to see his son!” A.J. snapped. “All he ever wanted was a family, and soon as he got one, he got taken away from it before he could meet his son! All he ever talked about was how happy he was they were having a boy. How he couldn’t wait to meet his little Bayster. And yet, God couldn’t even grant him his last wish, dammit!”

“Alex, we’re all only here for a short time – some longer than others, some shorter,” Howie said. “It’s not up to us when we go, or who goes. That’s left in God’s hands, and if He didn’t think we’d be able to handle it, He wouldn’t have let all this happen.”

“F*ck this shit!” A.J. growled, getting up and grabbing his jacket.

“Where are you going?” Howie asked.

“Away from here!” A.J. yelled, storming out the front door.

“Please Lord, don’t let him do anything stupid,” Howie pleaded. “I don’t think we can handle it.” ~~~~~~~~~~

A.J. sat in a church pew silently, before speaking aloud angrily. He was alone, and he was mad.

“You know, the least you could’ve done was let Rok meet his son,” he said bitterly. “That’s all he ever wanted, was to meet his son.”

He sighed, jamming his fists into his eyes, as they teared up with unwanted tears. “I know You got reasons. I ain’t a stupid man. I’m just so angry, that Brian didn’t get to see Baylee.”

He paused a moment. “Rok, I know you’re probably listening to me an’ shakin’ your head. But da – ang. You shouldn’t have been taken away so soon – not like that. You didn’t deserve that. Heck, nobody does. I can’t even fathom just how scared you must’ve been, to know that you weren’t gonna make it outta there alive. I know for sure I would’ve pi – peed my pants!”

He gulped, taking a moment to breathe.

“Baylee, he’s the spitting image of yah,” he continued. “Heck, he even acts like you. He loves to make people laugh and smile, and drives us all nuts – but in a good way. He asks us about you lots. His favourite story is about how excited you were to tell everybody you were having a son. I think we’ve all told him that one at least a million times.”

He gave a soft chuckle then. “An’ I know you’re frowning down on what I almost did earlier. An’ Rok, I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t drink, even though I was tempted too – especially not after what happened to poor Kenzie. An’ you know I still got faith an’ all that, though it’s kinda run off on me right now. But I gotta blame somebody, and God’s easiest to blame ‘cause I don’t gotta see the hurt in his eyes. ‘Sides, if I didn’t have faith, why the heck would I be sitting here talking to yah, huh?”

He swallowed again, desperately trying to hold back the sob that wanted to be released.

“You know I miss yah, Rok,” he went on. “You were my best friend during the worst of it all. Just – don’t tell Howie that. We’ll keep that our little secret. An’, if yah can, take care of Kenzie for Kevin, okay? He sure misses her, more than even you know. I never thought I’d see the day where Kevin of all people fell completely apart. But, I’ve seen it, and wish to never see it again. Please, help him through this as best you can. He needs you more now than ever before. Just, I wish I could bring yah both back – so Baylee could meet you, an’ Kev could hold his baby once more, you know?”

“An’ Rok…” his voiced cracked. “I love you….”

He let his tears fall then, now that he felt as though he’d said everything he needed to say. He felt at peace, sitting there in the Church where he’d last seen Brian sing. He smiled somewhat through his tears, remembering the smile his friend had given him that day, as he had stood watching his friend and everyone else sing the hymns.

If I could reach the sky I’d try to turn the world around So that we could see the face And forever stay alive

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