Marietta, Georgia
February 2000

Brian pulled the car into the driveway and grinned to himself, imagining the look on his fiancée’s face as he would surprise her by coming home a week earlier than scheduled. As he pulled through the gates, he noticed a taxi sitting in front of the doorway and, giving it a cursory glance, shrugged it off, thinking Leighanne must have had a friend over.

Brian parked his car, got out, and walked to the front door. As he turned the doorknob, the door flew open, and he was greeted by his very rushed-looking fiancée, Leighanne. Her look of surprise would have amused Brian, had it not been coupled with apprehension and anxiety.

“Leigh? Surprise,” Brian slowly started.

She shook her head and ran her hand through her shoulder-length blonde hair.

“Brian, I just—I was hoping I wouldn’t have to explain this to you face-to-face,” she mumbled, twisting off the engagement ring he had given her.

Brian looked from the ring she held out to him to the suitcases sitting behind her in the foyer.

“Leigh? What’s going on?”

“I’m leaving, Brian.”

Lexington, Kentucky
July 2002

Sienna McKinnon hummed along to Norah Jones as she arranged the sunflowers and calla lilies in a vase for one of her favorite customers, elderly Mr. Cannon who often bought flowers to surprise his wife. Sienna loved that the Cannons had been married nearly fifty years and still surprised each other with presents.

“There you go, Mr. Cannon,” she grinned as she tied on the bow with a flourish.

“Ah, Sienna. Maggie will be so happy. She always loves your flowers,” he smiled at her.

“And I’m glad she does. I’m always happy to make a bouquet for her,” Sienna replied.

As Mr. Cannon was leaving the store, the door opened and a man in a University of Kentucky baseball cap held the door open for the older man. Then, he wandered in and headed for a rack of sunflowers at the side of the shop. Sienna frowned, trying to remember if she had ever seen him before. Usually, she remembered most of the customers that came into her shop, unless they came in on Saturdays, which was her day off.

Nope. I’ve never seen him before. Must be new, Sienna thought and decided to see if she could help him navigate through the colorful merchandise of her shop.

Sienna’s Flowers had been in business for three years now, and, in that three years, Sienna was pleased to know that her flower shop was touted as one of “South Lexington’s Best”. Everyone came to Sienna’s Flowers if they wanted quality bouquets and premium flowers. She had a greenhouse behind the cottage where she lived that she had had to add on to when she realized that the produce from her small greenhouse was not going to grow enough to supply the demands of her customers.

As she made her way through the shop to the mysterious, new customer, Sienna stopped to admire the displays of lilies in that corner, the sunflowers and Gerbera daisies in the window, and the traditional display of various roses in the center of the shop. Sure, they could use improvement, but she knew people would buy anyway because what she sold was the best.

Spotting her mystery man, she began to walk through the arbor of zinnias and mums towards him. However, before she could reach him, he turned and pinned her with a lightning blue gaze. Sienna found herself stopped in her tracks and, shaking off the feeling of having had her soul seared, made it to where he stood.

“Hi, I was wondering if you could help me out,” Mystery Man asked before Sienna could introduce herself. She found she liked his voice, which was flavored with the Kentucky accent she had come to adore.

“Absolutely,” Sienna smiled and held out a hand. “Welcome to Sienna’s Flowers. I’m Sienna. Now, did you have anything particular in mind that you were looking for?”

Mystery Man looked around and let out a whistle. “You’re the creator of this flower wonderland? It’s amazing.” He clasped her outstretched hand and shook it. “I’m Brian. And, no, I didn’t have anything particular in mind. Actually, to tell you the truth, I haven’t been in town to see my parents for a couple months, and it’s my mom’s birthday. I thought I’d get her flowers, but everything here is just—wow. I really don’t know what to pick.”

“Well, Brian, that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Tell me about your mom,” she asked. At his pointed look, she smiled. “I’m not a stalker, don’t worry. If I know more about the person who the flowers are for, I can pick out the best flowers to suit them. Flowers have their own distinct personalities, and different flowers suit different people. So, tell me about your mom,” she asked again.

“Well, she’s really friendly, loving. She’s very, very generous with everyone. She works with St. Joseph’s Hospital and the Healthy Hearts Club for Kids. Mom just loves to be around people and helping them,” Brian finished.

“Okay, then. Let’s try this,” Sienna started, then broke off. She walked around the various displays and picked out a flower from here, three from there, a few from here, and then asked Brian to come up to the counter. There, she asked him to pick a vase from the various ones she had set on the counter. Finally, she arranged them into the selected vase and finished off the arrangement with a large bow wrapped around the vase.

“Here,” she said, handing him a card, “write a message, and I’ll attach it to the vase.”

Brian studied the flowers in the vase for a few moments then broke into a huge smile. Sienna decided she wanted him to come back to the shop just so she could see that smile again.

“Damn, that’s incredible! Mom’s gonna love it, and there’s no way I could have done that by myself,” Brian smiled at Sienna. Then he scrawled a message on the card and stuck in the envelope.

Sienna attached it to the vase and rang up his purchase. Once he had paid her, Brian looked around the shop again, while hefting up the gorgeous flower arrangement.

“I’m definitely coming back because you’re really talented at this,” Brian smiled at her gratefully.

“I’d be delighted to have you back, Brian. Any time you need flowers, you know where to go,” Sienna added and watched as he left the store.

Glancing down at her watch, she realized that there was only a half-hour left until closing. Pulling her curling, chestnut-colored hair into a bun, she began wrapping up the flowers to put in the freezer, which would keep them fresh for the next day.

“Si, you have to feed me! I am out of food at my place, and Mom said that if I ask her to cook for me again, she would make sure I moved back into the house! Help!”

Sienna looked into the anxious face of her twenty year old cousin, Faith, who was currently standing at the door to her cottage.

“Faithie, I’m not going to keep feeding you, you know. I was 20 once. I managed to eat,” Sienna sighed, then let her cousin in.

“Thank you so much, Sienna! You know you’re my favorite cousin, right? Besides, you were twenty, five years ago. Things have changed since then. It’s much more difficult trying to live in an apartment and go to school at the same time,” Faith explained.

Sienna laughed as she picked up her sauce spoon and stirred the spaghetti sauce she had left simmering. "Faith, give me a break! It’s not that hard. Besides, I don’t understand why you don’t just live on campus. That way, you’ll have meal plans and won’t “starve”. Ok, whatever,” she added quickly when she saw the look on Faith’s face. “You’re welcome for dinner. It’s just spaghetti.”

Faith smiled and, plopping down on the couch, flicked the television to Access Hollywood. Sienna groaned inwardly and wondered when Faith would get over her teeny bopper phase. Probably never, Sienna thought. Then, she gasped at the image on the television and tried to focus on what the anchor was saying.

“Actress Leighanne Wallace, the former fiancée of Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell, tied the knot yesterday with her longtime love, Daniel Trace, in their hometown of Marietta, Georgia. Trace and Wallace were high school sweethearts until Trace enlisted in the army. Wallace met Littrell at a 1997 Backstreet Boys’ video shoot, and the couple was engaged, when, in February 2000, Wallace broke the engagement to go back to Trace. Trace was honorably discharged from the US army after being permanently crippled by mortar fire in Sudan. The couple is also expecting their first child sometime in the beginning of 2003. Our Access reporters caught up with Wallace’s ex, Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell, in a Lexington, Kentucky airport to discover his reaction to the news of the nuptials.”

The screen flickered and a video of Brian—the same Brian, Sienna realized, that had walked into her shop that day—began to play.

“Actually, I think it’s great that she’s happy. That’s all I’d really ever want for anyone I loved. If she and Daniel plan to be together and happy for the rest of their lives, then I am happy for them. The fact that they’re expecting a child is a double blessing, I think. Children are a gift from God and a miracle. I couldn’t be happier,” Brian finished with a smile.

The anchor switched to another celebrity story, and Sienna snapped to when she realized that Faith was waving her hand in front of her face.

“Hello? Earth to Sienna! Where are you?”

“I met him,” Sienna managed and sank into a kitchen chair.

Faith came and sat next to her.

“What do you mean ‘met him’? Who did you meet?” Faith asked.

Sienna gestured towards the television screen. “Brian, that Backstreet guy. He walked into the shop today and asked for help for a flower arrangement for his mom. It was her birthday today, and he has the most beautiful eyes.” Sienna stopped then, realizing that she was babbling.

Faith sat down next to her and tried not to shriek. “I can’t believe you met Brian from the Backstreet Boys! I’ve lived here all my life, and I hoped that I would meet him or Kevin, but it never happened. And then, one day, he just walks into your shop! How amazing is that?!”

“He said he’d be back,” Sienna said quietly.

“What?”

“He said that my flower arrangements were incredible and that, next time he wanted flowers, he would come to Sienna’s first,” Sienna clarified for Faith, and for herself.

“Wow. Can I take more hours at the shop? Please? Maybe he’ll come in again. You know, he’s only 27. That’s not too much older than me, right?”

Sienna listened to Faith babble on about whether or not she could date Brian because age was a big factor, etc. When she remembered the spaghetti, she moved to the stove and poured the sauce into the pasta and stirred. Faith realized that Sienna was getting things ready for dinner and stopped talking. She pulled out plates and silverware and set the table. Then she looked over at Sienna, who was dishing up the spaghetti.

“What are you thinking, Si?”

“Hmm?” Sienna glanced over at Faith. “Oh, well, I was just thinking that he looked sad.”

“Who?”

“Brian. He looked sad on the interview when they asked him about his ex-fiancée. I mean, he said he was happy for them, but the look in his eyes said something different,” Sienna explained.

“Wow. How could you tell? He was smiling and seemed happy enough,” Faith wondered.

Sienna shrugged. “I met him and saw his genuine smile. It lit up his whole face. It was like watching a little kid on Christmas.” She smiled. “Faith, when I walked over to ask him if he needed help, he looked at me. But not really. It was like he looked into me. Like he could see right to my soul. It was weird. But kind of comforting.”

Faith sat, placed her hand over her heart, and let out an exaggerated sigh. “That’s so poetic. Really,” she added when she saw the look on Sienna’s face. “Okay, so tell me. When he left the shop, did you think, ‘Mmm, I hope that one comes back because I’d like to take a nice, big bite out of him’?”

Sienna laughed. “Of course not. Although, I don’t think I would have said no to a date, either. But that’s never going to happen anyway. So, why bother thinking about it?”

“Oh, Sienna. That’s exactly why it’s not working out for you and Scott. You look at everything so practically. Let yourself fall once. Even if it is just a celebrity that may or may not come back to your shop again.”

Sienna shook her head and bit into spaghetti. “Faith, give it up. I like Scott, we’re working out well, and you should focus on school more than your love life. All will be well.” And then she stopped. “Damn it! I knew I was forgetting something!”

She pushed away from the table and grabbed her keys off the counter.

“Sienna! Where are you going?! Where’s the fire?” Faith called after her as Sienna rushed towards the door.

Sienna turned back. “Mrs. Johnson is throwing her daughter a bridal shower. I was supposed to make up five arrangements that she’s picking up at 8 tomorrow morning. Jesus, I’m a moron for forgetting something like this!” She grabbed her keys and called over her shoulder, “Wash my dishes, would you? And, lock the door behind you when you leave!”

The bad day had not gotten better, but, instead, had gone to worse and worst. Brian pressed his fingers over his eyes to try and relieve the pressure from the current headache he was dealing with. He had found out about Leighanne’s wedding this afternoon at the airport when he had been bombarded by reporters (why did they care about him still?!) and had had to wing a statement to appease them. Of course, he had to remember not to let his still-dissipating self-loathing show through. Although the guys had told him that he had not been the one worth leaving, it had obviously been her, he couldn’t help but feel that if he had just been better or more loving, Leigh would have stayed.

So, riding off the self-directed anger, he had pulled up to Sienna’s Flowers to buy his mother a bouquet, and he’d been hit over the head by the gorgeous woman who ran the business. And what a place! It had taken his mind off everything and made him realize that he could actually want a woman who wasn’t Leighanne. He had realized that the instant he had heard Sienna’s footsteps on the floor behind him. When he’d turned and locked eyes with her, he could’ve sworn the ground moved under them—of course, not, Brian thought. Unless, of course, it moved because, Hallelujah!, Brian Thomas Littrell was still a red-blooded, 27 year old man and could find a woman attractive.

But the good mood he had gained after the flower shop had quickly disappeared under the scrutiny of his mother. She had loved the flowers and asked him about everything that he had been up to for the last while since she had seen him. Then, when he had least expected it, over dinner, she had brought it up.

“So, Leighanne called me yesterday to let me know, before everyone else, that she and Daniel were planning on getting married quickly that night. She’s such a wonderful young woman, and Daniel is so lucky,” Jackie gushed.

Brian groaned inwardly, but put on a smile.

“He’s very lucky. I’m glad they’re together, and that Leigh’s going to be a mom soon,” Brian said.

“I thought to myself, ‘What if Brian and Leighanne had gotten married? I would have had my grandbabies by now,’” Jackie said. “Leighanne is going to be such a wonderful mother. I would have loved to have her as my daughter-in-law,” she added wistfully.

“I know, Mom,” Brian said, quietly, “but things happen. Not everything works out the way you want it to.”

“But it should have, Brian. I didn’t want to say this before because you were so distraught, but, really, if you had tried a little harder, Leighanne would never have left you for Daniel. Not that I think Daniel’s a terrible man. But he’s not my son, is he?” Jackie had given him a Look.

Brian steeled himself and looked at his mother.

“Nothing would have changed Leigh’s mind, Mom. And, I think it’s time we drop the whole matter. It’s been two years, and I can’t go back and fix it. I like my life the way it is now, and I wouldn’t change it.”

“Your life? Brian, the Boys are on a break, and you’re lounging around in Atlanta doing charity events and hobnobbing with god-knows-how-many loose women! I didn’t raise you that way, and I can’t watch you destroy yourself and your faith this way!” Jackie cried, indignantly.

Brian stood. “I love you, Mom. I can’t argue with you about this because neither one of us will be happy in the end. I need to leave now before I say something both of us will regret.”

And he left.

God, he should have done or said something differently, he knew. But, he couldn’t sit there and have that conversation with his mother. Ever since Kevin had pushed him into seeing a therapist about his depressingly low self-esteem, Brian had been trying to work his way back up and knew that, if he had continued that conversation, the nearly two years of therapy would have been destroyed.

Brian glanced around at the backyard of his parents’ home. It wasn’t the same split-level he had grown up in. He had moved his parents out of that house and into this larger, more comfortable house when the sales from Millenium had come back ten-fold. He was proud that he could give his parents something when they had taken incredible care of him all his life. Which was another reason he could not argue with his mother.

Shaking his head, Brian decided to go for a drive. Or a walk. Or maybe both. He could park his car somewhere and then walk for a bit. He just needed to clear everything out of his mind—and soon. He would run into the majority of Lexington soon enough, he knew. He wanted to be ready for it.

***

Sienna pulled into the tiny parking lot behind her shop and turned off the engine. She glanced down at the drab, comfortable clothes she wore. The baggy, gray sweatpants were paint-stained and had a hole on the right knee. The tank top she wore was black and old.

“Oh, whatever,” she huffed at herself. “It’s not like anyone’s likely to walk into the shop. It’s closed. It always closes at six PM.”

Shaking her head at herself, Sienna let herself in through the back door and stopped by her desk to find the order form Mrs. Johnson had filled out. Glancing over it and memorizing which flowers the customer wanted, Sienna pulled open the door to the freezer and began to gather what she needed.

As it turned out, he had ended up driving into the shopping district of South Lexington and decided that, seeing as it was about 9 and no one was out, he would walk the streets of his youth. God, what a cliché, Brian thought. Good thing no one’s here to hear me talking to myself in my head.

He had wandered down one street when he realized he was passing Sienna’s Flowers and, glancing in, he saw Sienna creating another fantastic arrangement of flowers. He looked down at the sign on the door that said CLOSED and, shrugging, knocked on the window. When she looked up, he saw the light of recognition and the quick shock on her face before she rounded the counter and walked towards the door. She knows who I am. She didn’t before. I wonder how she found out, Brian thought, a little disappointed that one of the few people he had ever met who hadn’t recognized him now did.

Sienna, panicking a little at how crappy she looked, opened the door and managed a smile.

“Brian? Hi, what are you doing here? I mean, the shop’s closed,” she said quickly.

Brian grinned.

“Relax, Sienna. I’m not the President, I’m still Brian who walked into your shop a few hours ago. No different.”

“Ha! Easy for you to say. You’re the one with millions of fans watching every move you make. You’re used to five star treatment. And here I am, opening up a shop for you after closing, and I’m wearing old sweats,” Sienna paused, then, seeing the ridiculousness of what she had just said, flushed. “Okay, so that was not what I meant to say. Let’s try again. Hello Brian, and good evening to you, too. My shop closed three hours ago, so I’m not quite sure why I let you in, but, now that you’re here, would you like another arrangement? Or would you just like to sit with the flowers? Either way works for me.”

She turned and walked back around the counter to the arrangements and picked up where she had started.

Brian shook his head a little. “Whew, that was a lot! I was just wandering down the street, taking a stroll, and I noticed your light was on. When I saw you, I thought I’d just stop in and say thank you for the flowers. My mother loved them.”

“Then why are you so sad?” Sienna slapped a hand over her mouth in horror. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I just said that.”

“Yeah you do,” Brian smiled. “And, yeah, I guess I am a little sad, or maybe it’s self-pity.”

“Your ex-fiancée? I heard she got married yesterday,” Sienna said. “I’m sorry if you were still in love with her.”

“How do you know so much about my life?” Brian wondered. “Unless you’re a fan.”

“Actually, I had heard of your band because my cousin is obsessed with you guys,” she grinned at his little groan, then continued. “But, I never paid much attention to it, and, I had no idea who you were when you came in here earlier. But, then, Faith—my obsessed cousin—showed up for dinner today and watched Access Hollywood. And, there you were. So, that’s how I now know who you are,” she finished.

“Ahh, it all makes sense now,” he smiled. Sienna really loved his smile and hated to ruin it but curiosity was killing her.

“You’re not elaborating on your ex, Brian,” she said. “Come on, let’s hear it. It can’t be too bad.”

Brian pulled up a chair at the counter as he watched her work and sighed.

“I loved her when she left. I came home from tour three days early and ran into her packing up and leaving. She hadn’t wanted to tell me face to face that she had run into Daniel again—her high school sweetheart,” Brian explained. Sienna nodded and he continued. “They had broken it off when he went into the military. She hadn’t wanted him to go, so she decided that not being with him was best. But, when she found out he was back because he had permanently injured his leg, Leigh went to talk to him. You know, catch up on things. And, apparently, one thing led to another and, well…” Brian trailed off.

“Wait, wait, wait. She cheated on you?! And then she left you to feel like a truck had run you over?! I think I hate her,” Sienna said.

“No, no. She said she realized that she was still in love with Daniel, and it wasn’t fair to me to keep thinking that she was in love with me. So, she broke it off before going back to Daniel,” Brian finished.

“Well, I guess I would have done that, too. But, it doesn’t make it any more fair to you,” Sienna added.

Both of them were silent as Brian watched Sienna wrap up the finished flower-filled, white baskets that Mrs. Johnson had ordered. Then, he helped her store them in the freezer.

Sienna walked into her small kitchen and called out to him. “Want some coffee? I sense we may be here a bit longer,” she poked her head out and smiled.

Brian ran his hands over his face then shrugged. “Oh, hell. I’m probably not going to sleep for awhile anyway. Sure, coffee sounds great.”

“So, do you still love Leighanne?” Sienna asked as she brought out two steaming mugs and set one in front of him.

Brian lifted the mug to his lips and sipped. “This is great coffee,” he said after a moment. Then, wincing at her look, he shook his head. “What is it with women and wanting to know everything?”

“We’re busybodies who need to know everything. Oh, come on, Brian!” she patted his shoulder. “You can tell me. I’m the Great Listener. Ask anybody. I listen to people’s problems and try to help them. Trust me.”

“Fine. Do I love her now?” Brian thought for a moment. “No. No, I don’t love her anymore, but the feeling of not being good enough is a constant wound that won’t go away.” He sighed. “I don’t know what to do, though. I want to be able to see Leighanne and not feel resentment towards her or myself. But I can’t. Kevin made me go to a therapist for almost two years. I still go every once in a while. Apparently, I have self-esteem issues.”

“Do you think you have low self-esteem?” Sienna asked.

“When I get nasty thoughts about myself, I realize that I do,” Brian answered. “So, I still go to a therapist. But it doesn’t help when I see my parents, and my mother makes a big fuss over how she doesn’t have a daughter-in-law yet.”

Ahh, Sienna thought. It all becomes clear, now. “So, you and your mom had an argument tonight, you went for a walk, and you ended up here. Am I right?”

“Yeah. She finally said that if I had simply tried harder or loved Leighanne more, I would have been happily married by now and maybe have a kid or two,” Brian murmured.

“Oh, Brian. I’m sorry. I wish I could fix it for you, but these things just take time. And, yeah, that’s a cliché, but it’s true,” Sienna added, then reached over and gave him a quick hug.

Brian drew in her scent and sighed inwardly.

“Well, this was a great, depressing conversation,” he said. “Let’s hear about you. Your story.”

Sienna waved it away. “Nah, it’s nothing great. Don’t worry about it. Besides, I’m a what you see is what you get girl.”

“Oh, come on. I just told you things I haven’t told my mother or my closest friends, and I’m trusting you with them. I have to know about the person I just trusted my deepest secret to,” Brian gave her a pitiful look and she had to laugh.

“Okay, fine. Where should I start?”

“At the beginning. Where did you grow up because, with that accent, it definitely wasn’t in Kentucky. Let me guess. Pennsylvania?” Brian wondered.

“Yeah,” Sienna said, surprised. “How did you figure that out?”

“Easy,” Brian grinned. “When you’ve traveled as much as I have, you can easily place accents. So, you grew up in Pennsylvania, and?”

“And, not much else. I graduated from high school, went to college, decided that botany and English literature were my callings and majored in both. And then, I moved here to be near my relatives and opened this shop. Business has been my life ever since,” Sienna finished.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Come on, Sienna. Let’s hear the details! Where did you go to college? Why did you move here and not stay in Pennsylvania? And where in Pennsylvania did you live?”

“Jesus, you ask a lot of questions! Okay, well, I went to Columbia University in New York City,” Sienna began.

“Whoa! Isn’t that an Ivy? So, you’re a smart woman! Well,” Brian said looking around the shop, “yeah, I believe it. Only a really intelligent person could pull off a set up like this.”

Sienna blushed. “Stop it. Anyone could do it so long as they loved flowers and were at all creative. Anyway, I went to Columbia and, like I said, I majored in botany and English literature. I moved to Kentucky during my junior year because…” she trailed off.

Brian noticed a sad expression flicker in her hazel eyes and laid his hand over hers on the counter.

“Sienna? What happened during your junior year of college?”

She looked up and met his eyes.

“My parents were killed,” she whispered.

Brian felt his heart break for her.

“Oh baby. I’m so sorry. What happened?” he murmured as he put an arm around her shoulders and drew her close.

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. It was so easy to talk to him, she thought. And they’d known each other for only a few hours.

“They were driving home from a restaurant one night. It was their twenty third wedding anniversary, and a drunk driver hit them from the side. My mom was killed instantly. My dad was lucid enough during the drive to the hospital, but, when he heard one of the EMTs tell another one that my mom was dead, I think he gave up. My parents had been a unit since they were six. So, his heart just stopped beating. He never made it to the hospital. It was the worst day of my life,” she murmured. “Sometimes, I still feel them here. I wonder if they’d be proud of what I’ve done every day.” She sighed. “Anyway, I moved to Kentucky, which is where my closest relatives, my dad’s brothers, live. And, after graduation, I decided on this shop.”

Brian sat a moment and took it all in. “I think your parents would be very proud of you. Look at you! You’ve taken a bunch of flowers and turned it into something incredible. I envy you, you know.”

Sienna turned to look at him. “Why? You’ve got fans in every corner of the globe. And you envy me—a flower shop owner in Lexington, Kentucky?”

Brian sighed. “The fans can be overwhelming. I mean, there are days when I wish I were normal and anonymous like everyone else, you know? I always wanted to go to college, and I couldn’t. And, if I wasn’t famous, I’d still have brothers,” he added sadly.

Sienna frowned. “You had siblings? Why don’t you have them anymore?”

“Well, yeah, I have one brother. But I meant the other Boys. I haven’t seen or talked to any of them in three months. Kevin’s spending time with his wife, Howie’s doing something or other with real estate and acting, AJ’s taking time for himself and working on staying sober, and Nick…” Brian stopped.

“And Nick?” Sienna asked.

Brian ran his fingers wearily through his hair. “Nick and I haven’t talked in months. There was a time, less than a year ago, when we couldn’t get away from each other. We spent all our time together, and we were best friends. But, when the rest of us decided we wanted to leave our management company, Nick decided to stay on. He used them for his own solo career. I didn’t even know he wanted a solo career!” Brian stood and began pacing. “For God’s sake, the kid was happy being a Backstreet Boy, and, one day, he says, ‘Well, I think I’ll leave y’all now and go do this on my own.’ So, we argued, and I stormed out of the meeting. I was so angry. Part of me may still be angry, but I miss him. I can’t take back what I said, Sienna. And I wish I could.” He sighed and dropped down into the chair again.

Sienna was quiet for a few moments. “Brian, would it make you feel better to talk to him? I mean, if the two of you were so close, isn’t it possible he might be feeling the same way you are? He might be lonely, sad, and still a little resentful, too. You’d never know unless you talked to him.”

“Maybe. I don’t think I’m ready yet. He’s got too much on his plate right now, too. His album’s coming out soon and then the tour…” Brian trailed off. “I’m just too much of a coward right now to face him.”

Sienna shook her head. “It’s got nothing to do with being a coward. So, you’re afraid to face him, and he’s probably the same way. So, give yourself time. Don’t worry about it right now. If he’s got a lot on his plate, then just give him space. It’ll work out in the end. Stuff like this usually does.”

“I hope so,” Brian murmured. “I really hope so.” Then, he seemed to perk up. “You know, this is gonna sound really weird, but I’ve never talked to anyone about all this stuff, besides my therapist, of course. And the craziest part is that I’ve only known you for about” he glanced at his watch “six hours. I could probably tell you my entire life’s story the way I’m feeling.”

Sienna laughed. “No, I know what you mean. It is strange. I mean, I haven’t talked about my parents for a long time. But it was just easy to talk to you. I like you, Brian. Really, I’m glad you walked into my flower shop.”

Brian swallowed carefully and tried to ignore the bump his heart had felt when she’d said she liked him. “Well, I like you, too, Sienna. And I’m damn glad I walked into your flower shop because I’ve got myself a new friend.”

And then, neither one knowing what to say next, they stared at each other for long moments, until Sienna broke eye contact and looked down at her watch.

“Wow, it’s almost midnight,” she managed to say. “I have to be back here at seven-thirty in the morning, so I’m actually going to kick you out.”

Brian grinned, a little relieved that the tension was broken. “I see how it is. If this is the way you treat paying customers, then I don’t know how you’ve been so successful.” He shook his head. “Some people.”

Sienna smiled then frowned when her cell phone rang. “Hold on a second,” she said to Brian as she dug the phone out of her bag. Glancing at the readout, she realized it was Scott and found that she really didn’t want to talk to him just now. And then felt guilty.

“Are you going to answer that?” Brian wondered as the phone continued to ring.

Sienna snapped out of it and looked over at him. “Huh? Oh, yeah, umm.” She hit the TALK button just as the phone stopped ringing and shrugged. “Oh well. I’ll call ‘em back. No problem.”

Brian frowned. “Was it someone you don’t want to talk to?”

Sienna shook her head. “No, no. It was my boyfriend, Scott.” Because she wasn’t looking at Brian but at the phone, she missed his expression. “It’s just weird because I don’t understand why he would call right now. He’s usually sleeping by now because he works at the military base and has to get to work by four in the morning.” She sighed. “I’ll call him when I get home.” Then she looked up at Brian. “Listen, I hate to run, but it was really great meeting you and talking. Feel free to drop by any time. Oh, and here, I’ll give you my number, in case you ever need anything.” She scribbled her number onto a business card and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” Brian murmured. “So, I’d like to think I’ve made a friend today. Are we? Friends?”

Sienna held out a hand. “Friends?”

Brian shook it. “Friends.”

So, why hadn’t he called? Sienna wondered as she changed out of work clothes into dinner clothes. It had been three months since she and Brian had spoken. He had stayed in Lexington for a week, but he’d never dropped by the shop or called her.

Although, really. What would you have done if he had called? You’ve got a boyfriend. Remember Scott? She chided herself. Although, she was going to break it off with Scott. Things had gotten pretty bad with him ever since he had gotten laid off. The military base was under scrutiny by the treasurer of the Armed Forces. They believed that the base was not as important and, thus, should not be given as much money as it was being given. Because Scott had only been working there for two years and his post was not as necessary as others, they had let him go. He was having a hard time finding a job, and Sienna was trying to help him. But, no matter what she did, it didn’t seem to help him, and he would snap at her. Her patience was running thin after two months, and she had decided that, tonight, she was going to have to break it off.

Sienna frowned at herself as she capped the tube of lipstick. She didn’t love Scott, so, really, it wasn’t going to be that hard for her. She just hoped he wouldn’t take it badly.

The doorbell rang, and Sienna took a deep breath. Here we go.

***

“So, let me get this straight. The security firm in New York called you to let you know they’ve hired you? And you’re moving out there next month?” Sienna repeated Scott’s excited words.

Since he had picked her up, Scott had been bouncing with energy, and, once their meals had arrived, he had broken the news to her.

“I’m just thrilled, Si! I mean, think of the possibilities!” Sienna listened to Scott go on about how he was finally going to start making some sort of living for himself. As he spoke, his brown eyes gleamed from the excitement. His usual nervous habit of running his hands through his blond hair was no longer apparent, now that he had been hired. Suddenly, something he said broke through Sienna’s thoughts.

“Wait,” she said. “Did you just say when we move to New York? Who do you mean by we?”

Scott grinned. “Us, silly. You and me. We’re going to be living in New York City at this time next month. Aren’t you excited?”

Sienna sighed. “Scott, I’m not going anywhere. I have a business and family here. I can’t just pick up and leave. I don’t want to leave Lexington. I love it here. It’s my home.”

Scott’s smile disappeared. “So because of your little flower shop and your family, you won’t come with me? Come on, Sienna! You could build a bigger flower shop in New York, with more customers!”

“But, the thing is, I don’t want to. I’ve been to New York. I lived there for four years. It’s not where I want to be, Scott. I’m sorry. But, I don’t think we’re going to work out, either. I had meant to break it off with you tonight,” she paused, watching his face darken. “Really, Scott. It’s for the best. You can go to New York, and I’ll stay here. We’ll both be happy.”

“But what if I love you?” he asked angrily.

Sienna snorted. “Please. You don’t love me, and I don’t love you. We’ve been dating for a year and a half. If we don’t love each other by now, we don’t have a chance in the future.”

“Fine,” Scott spat out as he stood and dropped his napkin on the table. “Have it your way, Sienna. Have a great life.” And he left.

“Oh Scott. Such a clichéd way to go,” she said, shaking her head. She signaled the waiter and paid for the meals. Then, grabbing her things, she headed for the kitchens.

Scanning the kitchen area quickly, she focused in on the person she was looking for and made her way over to the dessert preparation area.

“Hey, Livvy,” Sienna called out to the dessert chef and the woman she considered her best friend.

Olivia Taylor looked up from the crème brulée she was creating and grinned at her. “How’s it going, Si? Weren’t you on a date with Scott tonight?”

Sienna sighed as she rolled up her sleeves and washed her hands. “Yeah, and he got a job in the Big Apple. But,” she said before Livvy could say anything, “he wanted me to move up there with him. I said no, and that I thought we would be better off apart. He blew a gasket and left me to pay for dinner.”

“The jerk.”

“Yeah, but, seriously? I didn’t mind paying for it as long as it means I don’t have to deal with his shit again.”

“True. Hey, hand me that spatula would you? And then, can you pour the fudge sauce onto that bowl of ice cream?” Livvy gestured.

Soon, Sienna had been integrated into the dessert section, but it was easy for her to do because she had done it dozens of times before. The owner of the restaurant often felt as though he should pay her, but Sienna just laughed and shrugged it off, saying that she already made far too much money. She considered the dessert making a hobby.

As she worked, she watched the competent, artistic way Livvy worked with the dessert. With her jet black hair piled on top of her head, which was sometimes bent over a pie and sometimes over a meringue, and her emerald eyes narrowed, Livvy looked like a an artist. Which, Sienna supposed, she was. A gorgeous, bohemian artist, Sienna remembered watching Livvy paint when they were younger. Olivia had always lived in Lexington, and they had met when Sienna had been visiting her uncles during the summer before second grade. They’d instantly hit it off and been best friends long-distance ever since. Sienna could not imagine a life without her best friend, and she knew Liv felt the same.

At the end of the night, Livvy gave her a ride home, and Sienna sighed as they pulled up to her cottage.

“Liv? I was thinking about him again,” she murmured.

“Oh, honey. Maybe he’s a bastard just like all the other celebrities out there, you know?” Livvy replied, trying to make Sienna happier.

“Oh, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. He was so candid, so real. How could he seem so real and not be?” Sienna wondered, then shrugged. “Oh well, I’ll get over it. I mean, really, I don’t know if I’m even romantically interested in him. I think it’s more of a I want to be his friend because I haven’t been able to talk to a guy so openly—ever.”

Livvy shook her head. “Obviously, I’m not a good enough friend if you’re cheating on me behind my back. Except you told me about him. Never mind.”

Sienna chuckled. “Relax, Liv. Your friendship’s safe with me. I’d better go. Another day at work tomorrow.”

Jackie Littrell was scheming. She was scheming up a huge birthday bash for her younger son. She wanted to see him smile again, and she had planned out the who, where, and how of the surprise party. She simply needed help with decorations. Which is why she found herself pulling up to Sienna’s Flowers. One of the women she worked with at St. Joseph’s had recommended the business to her, and she was here to inspect. While she had thought the flower arrangement Brian had bought her for her birthday was quite lovely, she wanted to make sure.

Sienna looked over at the woman, who walked in, while she put out the fresh daffodils she had managed to procure from another, more successful greenhouse. Just as she dismissed the woman, she caught sight of her face and froze. It had to be her. It couldn’t be anyone but her. Brian’s mother.

“Hello, may I help you?” Sienna asked cheerfully as she walked over to the woman.

Jackie looked at Sienna and smiled approvingly. “Actually, I came in to ask if you made special arrangements for large banquet halls. I’m planning a party and need someone to decorate for me. With flowers.”

Sienna frowned. “I’ve never decorated a venue before. But I’m not averse to trying new things. Tell me about the place.”

Jackie began to explain that she had booked a hall in The Gardens, an exclusive club whose uniqueness came from the fact that each hall was full of grass and lovely Grecian columns. All that was needed was the flower arrangement that a renter would provide. So, in this case, Jackie needed someone who would know which flowers to use and be able to twine arrangements around the columns and on every table.

Sienna listened with growing interest. The place sounded interesting and could prove to be a challenge. She had always loved challenges.

“Yes,” she said immediately, when Jackie asked if she would be interested in decorating.

Jackie smiled. “I was hoping you’d agree because I absolutely adored that arrangement my son bought from you several months ago. And, I like the variety you have. It’s incredible.” She leaned over to smell the scent of the honeysuckle bush sitting next to the counter. “Like I said, I like your variety.”

“Thank you,” Sienna replied. “If you need an estimate, we can visit The Gardens together. I can pitch you ideas on the flowers I could use, and you can give me feedback. From there, I can give you an approximate estimate of how much this will cost. Oh, by the way, when is this event going to happen?”

“February 20,” Jackie replied. “I was hoping that, since I’m telling you a month and a half in advance, you’ll still be able to do it.”

“Oh no, that’s no problem. I just need to check my schedule,” Sienna replied as she dug out her planner and consulted it. She looked up at Jackie and smiled, “Nope. February 20th will be no problem.”

“Wonderful. Let’s get started, shall we?”

***

February twentieth had arrived. After a month and a half of working with Jackie on flowers and flower designs, the two women had bonded. Jackie had surprisingly good taste for a woman who rarely puttered around the garden, as she had put it. She had also informed Sienna that the party was to be a surprise birthday bash for Brian. He would be coming home for the first time since July, and she wanted to see her son happy again. Sienna agreed that it was a good idea, especially as most of the people invited were close family and friends. She had wished to be invited, then realized that it would probably be a bad move, so decided against it. Until the week before the event, when Jackie called her.

“Sienna, darling,” Jackie greeted her. “I nearly forgot to tell you! I want you to be there next week.”

Somewhat confused, Sienna had replied, “But I will be there. I’m decorating, Jackie, remember?”

“No, no, no! I mean, I want you there at the party. You’ve been such a help, and I think I’d like you to properly meet my son, too,” Jackie was enthusiastic. Sienna had finally worn down and agreed to come.

Which was why she was pulling on the quiet green dress and pinning on jewelry, while muttering about not wanting to see Brian.

“Oh, buck up, pal,” Livvy grinned. “You’ve been wanting to see him again. Admit it. You really didn’t need all that cajoling, did you?”

Sienna sighed. “Okay, no. But still. He probably won’t even remember me. Last time he saw me, I was wearing a tank top and grungy sweatpants. Now look at me.”

“He’ll remember you,” Livvy said definitely. Then pushed Sienna out the door. “Don’t come back until after midnight, Cinderella!”

***

Brian picked up his bags from baggage claim and made his way towards the exit. He sincerely hoped this trip would be better than the last one. He didn’t want to hear about how he lost Leighanne and could have done better. Relax, he told himself. Mom won’t want a repeat, either. Don’t worry about it.

Spotting his father, Brian made his way through the flow of people to where his father stood.

“Hey Dad,” Brian greeted him with a hug. They pulled back to look at each other.

“My goodness,” Harold said, “each time I see you, you seem to get younger, while your old man gets older.”

Brian grinned. “You just can’t see my anti-wrinkle device. It’s hidden really well.”

Harold shook his head then swung an arm around his son’s shoulders. “Let’s get going. Your mom’s anxious to see you. I just have to make a quick stop first, though.”

“Oh, yeah? Where?” Brian wondered.

“Oh, The Gardens. Your mother wants to have the next St. Joseph’s fundraiser there, and I need to stop by and pick up some information,” Harold replied nonchalantly.

Brian nodded. “Sounds good.”

He settled down in his seat and closed his eyes, as he listened to his dad hum along to the oldies station. And, suddenly, the past seven months of hell disappeared.

When he had left Sienna’s Flowers that night, he had gone home and found his mother waiting for him. They had talked about the situation and agreed to disagree. The rest of his stay, he had run into old family friends, then his own friends from high school. He had spent a couple nights at the bar, desperately wanting to get drunk but not being able to because AJ would pop into his mind and stop him. When he’d left Lexington, he’d felt better about his life, but then, everything went downhill.

Watching Nick’s album release and the not-so-great reviews and sales from it had depressed him, so he had tried to call Nick, only to find out that the number had changed. He had tried calling AJ to get Nick’s number, but AJ had been out every time he’d called. He and Sarah, his fiancée, had been busy with wedding preparations, and then they’d postponed them, although Brian had no idea why. Howie had been busy when Brian tried calling him, and the closest he’d come to talking to him was Howie’s office secretary.

His life had crashed sometime in October when he’d finally realized that he had just failed at life. God had given him an incredible family, and, through his selfishness, Brian had destroyed it. He had spent hours talking to his therapist, who had finally thrown up his hands and said, “Brian, you need to give everyone time and space. The five of you lived in each other’s pockets for ten years! Time is the best answer I can give you, right now.”

But, he couldn’t live with that, and he’d stopped going to his therapist in December. Christmas had been hard because he had decided to stay in Atlanta, and he’d seen Leighanne at the mall when he’d been shopping. She had been with Daniel and looked radiant—and very pregnant. He had envied them and all the other families he’d seen around him. When was he going to find his? Brian often wondered. Then, he figured God was going to punish him for quite a while, and he’d just have to deal with it.

He’d also spent several nights thinking about Sienna, the flower shop owner he’d spent hours talking to on the day he’d met her. He’d worn down the paper that held her number and often contemplated calling her. Then, he’d remember she had a boyfriend, friends, family, and a business, and he didn’t fit in there with any of it, so he hadn’t called her.

Brian opened his eyes when the car stopped. They had arrived at the Gardens. Harold insisted that Brian come inside, too, but Brian shook his head and told Harold he was too tired, but Harold insisted, and Brian finally relented.

As they walked towards the entrance, Harold pulled out his cell phone and called Jackie.

“Hey hon. I just wanted to let you know that Brian and I are about to walk into The Gardens. We’ll be home in a bit, okay? Uh-huh. Okay. I love you, too,” and he hung up.

As Harold led him down a winding corridor, Brian had to ask, “Dad? Where are we going?”

“Here,” Harold answered, pushing open a door and nearly shoving his son in first.

“SURPRISE!” close to a hundred people shouted.

Brian simply stared for a few seconds, then a smile broke out on his face. Jackie smiled as she saw it and hurried forward to envelop him in a hug.

“Happy Birthday, little duck,” she whispered in his ear.

Brian pulled back and grinned. “I love you, Mom. This is incredible!”

He looked around at all the decorations and the people that were coming up and congratulating him. There were friends he hadn’t seen in a few years, cousins, Aunt Anne, Kevin’s mother, and several others. Then, he noticed Kevin standing with his wife, Kristin, in a corner.

Kevin. The one person he felt he’d let down more than any other was his cousin, Kevin. Kevin had been there for him and the other Boys, even at times when he’d been going through rough things. Kevin had stuck Brian into the therapist’s office after listening to Brian wrestle with his pain for months. He had broken down AJ’s hotel room door in order to stop AJ’s drug and alcohol addiction. He’d put his everything into the Boys, and then Brian had wrecked it all in one, single hour. Shaking off the burgeoning depression he turned back to the people who were talking to him.

“Excuse me,” he said to one of his father’s friends, “I need to go see someone real quick. Thank you for coming!”

He made his way over to where Kevin and Kristin stood.

Kristin stepped forward and hugged him. “Happy Birthday, Brian! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you! You look good,” she added.

“Thanks, Kris. Thanks for coming. Both of you,” he added with a grateful look directed at Kevin.

Kevin shrugged. “I thought it might be a good idea to come and see everyone. Plus, Kris had a break, so we decided to show up.”

Kristin glared at him, then shook her head. “We’re thrilled to be here. It’s been great seeing everyone.”

“Yeah,” Brian agreed, a bit disheartened by his cousin’s mood. Then again, he reminded himself, it’s not as though he had done anything to elicit a better response. He had pretty much, single-handedly, broken up the group. “I’ll be back to talk to y’all, but I have to go see some other people, too.”

Kristin nodded while her husband simply shrugged and disappeared into the crowd of cousins.

“Don’t mind him,” Kristin murmured, apologetically. “He’s just been going through some stuff. He’ll come around.”

Brian nodded then made his way through the crowd to see his brother and sister-in-law.

“Brian,” Jackie called out, while Brian was talking to his brother, Harry, and bouncing Harry’s ten-month-old daughter on his hip. “I want you to meet someone who was a big part of this whole setup.”

“I’ll be right there, Mom,” Brian turned to Harry. “Can I take her with me?” he asked gesturing to the baby he carried.

“Sure, bro,” he grinned. “Just don’t drop her! I know how clumsy you can be!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re still jealous that I could make thousands of females scream around the world. The only ones who scream for you, scream at you. Your poor wife and child,” Brian said sadly, shaking his head. “Anyway, gotta go. I’ll bring her back, I swear.”

“Yeah, sure,” Harry answered. “You’d better go before Mom has a cow.”

Brian grinned at his brother and made his way over to his mother, who was talking to a woman with her back to Brian.

His mother spotted him and smiled. “Brian, sweetie, I want you to meet the woman who turned this place into a masterpiece! Sienna, Brian. Brian, Sienna.”

Sienna turned and managed to steady herself, especially when she saw the shock in his eyes. He looked tired and had lost weight since she had last seen him. She wondered what had happened in seven months to make him look so miserable even when he was smiling.

Brian realized that his jaw had dropped, but he couldn’t believe she was here. Within touching distance. She looked incredible. Her chestnut locks curled halfway down her back and around her face. Which was, to Brian, amazing all by itself. Her eyes were the pure hazel that he’d seen in dreams for the last seven months and her lovely mouth (again, the one he’d dreamed of) was starting to form a smile. Brian snapped himself out of it.

“Sienna! Hey, I should’ve known this was one of your deals when I saw how incredible the flowers were,” Brian said, pulling himself together.

Jackie looked at the both of them. “You two know each other? I mean, I know you bought flowers from her, Brian, but I didn’t know you were friends. Or are you?”

Sienna shook her head. “No, Jackie, we only met that one day. But, we did get to talking for a bit. So,” she said turning back to Brian, “I suppose I should wish you a happy birthday. Happy Birthday, Brian.” And glancing at the baby in his arms, she looked up at him, “Are you going to introduce us or am I going to have to do the introductions myself?”

Brian seemed confused then, remembering the toddler he carried, laughed. “No, no problem. This here is Miss Abby, my brother Harry’s daughter. She’s almost seven months old. Abby, baby, meet Sienna. She made all these pretty flower designs.” He plucked a lily out of the arrangement at the closest table and handed it to the baby, who proceeded to clutch in her fingers and squish it.

Sienna laughed. “Cute, she’s very cute.”

Jackie smiled, “I’m glad the two of you have met. Brian, do you want me to take Abby, or did you want to hang onto her for awhile?”

Brian shook his head. “Nah, I’m going to hang onto her for a while longer. I don’t get to see her as much as I want to, so she’s staying with me.”

Jackie nodded. “All right, well, we’ll be cutting your cake soon, okay? So, don’t run off anywhere!”

“Aww, Mom! I was thinking about leaving all these great people and going home and sleeping in about fifteen minutes. Gosh, you’ve crushed my dreams!” He stopped, then chuckled. “Don’t worry, mom, I’ll be here talking to Sienna.”

Jackie nodded then went off.

Brian looked over at Sienna. “So, I’d offer to sit, but this one won’t let me or she’ll start screaming. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, it’s not a problem. So, how’ve you been since we last met?”

Brian sighed. “I’ve been better, but I’m trying to be happy and positive right now, you know?”

Sienna frowned. “Is everything okay? Did you manage to talk to any of the guys? I mean, I only saw Kevin here tonight. Even though your mother invited the other three, too.”

“She did?” Brian’s face fell as he realized that three of his brothers hadn’t shown up. “Goddammit! I might have been a bastard, but I can’t believe this! If I had been angry at any of them, I still would’ve shown up!” He handed the baby over to Sienna. “Here, if you see Harry or my mom, pass her onto them. I need space.” And he strode towards the exit.

Sienna looked down at Abby, who gurgled and smiled up at her. “You know we have to go after your Uncle Brian, right? He can’t leave yet. And he can’t feel sorry for himself, either. Even if the situation sucks,” she muttered. And she began to wind her way through towards the door Brian had disappeared through.

***

They looked like a little family, Kevin thought as he watched his cousin holding the baby and talking to the pretty brunette. Even as he thought it, Brian passed Abby to the woman and stormed out. Kevin wondered what had caused the problem and decided to go over and talk to the woman, but she disappeared out the door, too. He thought about his options.

So, Brian had been somewhat of a bastard at the last meeting the Boys had had, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still his cousin, his brother. Worse yet was the fact that he couldn’t even talk to Brian. And, apparently, neither could the other guys. He had gotten calls from Howie and Nick wondering if they should go to the birthday bash. Jackie had sent them invitations, and they had been leery of seeing Brian, especially Nick. Kevin sighed, not wanting to think about the mess they were in.

“You should see what happened,” Kristin murmured.

Kevin turned to look down into his wife’s grim face. “And what? Get yelled at for interfering in his life? No thanks. I don’t need to handle another bratty outburst from him.”

“Kevin! He’s your cousin. He’s gone through some rough shit in the last couple years. Do you really think he meant to break up the group?” Kristin asked him, annoyed. “Just stop being a baby and go talk to him. He probably needs a friend as much as you do.”

Kevin raised his brows. “I am not a baby. And, I don’t need a friend. Baby, I just got hired by the Chicago company. I’m going to have all the friends I can handle, thanks.” Then, seeing her look, he winced. “Okay, okay. I’ll go talk to him.”

“And find out who that woman is,” Kristin called after him.

Kevin strode out the doors and spotted his cousin and the mystery woman talking outside, sitting on the steps. Brian seemed angry, and then he buried his face in his hands. Kevin felt a twinge of regret and made his way out the doors.

“Brian?”

Brian’s head shot up and he watched Kevin warily. “Hey Kev. How’s it going?”

The woman sitting next to him shook her head. “Honestly, Brian. Talk to him. You’re not going to feel any better until you talk to all of them. I’m going to head in because it’s too cold out here for Abby.” As she stood, Brian grabbed the hem of her dress.

“Sienna, I need to talk to you, too. Can I drop by the shop tomorrow?”

“Night?” Sienna asked. At Brian’s nod, she replied, “Actually, come by my house instead. It’s out on Thatcher Road. Your mother knows where it is. Ask her.” And then, she turned to Kevin. “I’m Sienna McKinnon. You must be Kevin. I am the florist who decorated for tonight. It was nice to meet you. Now, talk.”

Kevin watched her go inside, then dropped down onto the steps next to Brian and stretched out his legs. “That’s quite a woman you got there, Brian.”

Brian rubbed his eyes wearily. “Not my woman. She’d probably beat me if she knew you called her that. She’s just a friend. I think.”

“Why do you think she’s your friend? Either she is, or she isn’t.”

“Kev, I met her once before today,” and Brian explained about meeting her when he’d gone in for the flowers then seeing her later that night and talking to her. “I told her that you guys were angry with me for destroying the group, and that I deserved every ounce of anger you feel towards me. But, uh, I haven’t talked to her since July. I don’t think she’s happy about that because she definitely gave me her number.”

“She a fan?” Kevin asked. “Because she didn’t act like one.”

Brian grinned. “She didn’t know who I was the first time I walked into her shop. Then, her cousin was watching some show and I was on with an interview I did at the airport the day Leigh got married.”

“And then she figured out you were a celebrity,” Kevin finished.

“Yeah, except she doesn’t give a damn, and I really don’t know why I’m talking about her,” Brian shook his head.

“Is she the first woman you’ve been attracted to or thought about since Leigh?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah, yeah, she is,” Brian sighed.

“You okay about the whole Leighanne and Trace deal? I heard about it from Mom who found out from Aunt Jackie, when, apparently, Leigh called her. I also heard she was pregnant. I saw the interview you did after a while,” Kevin added. “You didn’t seem happy.”

“I am so screwed up, Kevin. I felt like kicking myself for letting the news make me feel like a failure. And then, that night, Mom told me that if I had worked harder or made Leigh feel more loved, she wouldn’t have left. I couldn’t handle that. And. I’m terrified of you and the others. Sienna told me you all got invited, but, obviously the others didn’t come. I guess it makes me a little resentful, too. And, I have no right to be resentful because of what I did.”

“Brian?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and listen,” Kevin said. Brian sat up and looked over at his cousin. “First, Leigh was not worth your time, energy, and money. Or love. You loved her more than anyone I know has loved his wife, including me. Kris always yelled at me for not loving her like you loved Leigh. She married someone else, who’s not you. She obviously didn’t deserve you.” Kevin took a breath. “And secondly, I’m not gonna lie and say that you did everything wonderfully by yelling at Nick because, really, you broke the kid’s heart. However, I’m here, and I’m tired of blaming somebody for us not working out. We didn’t work because we were tired. We needed time away from each other. You yelled at Nick partially because you’d spent ten years with him. All of us were antsy by that point what with AJ in rehab and you still in therapy. So, you cracked. And then we did. It happens. I’m ready to forgive you, Bri. I’m tired of the blame.”

Brian swallowed the tears that had risen in his throat. “Kevin,” he managed in a choked whisper. “I am so sorry. I wish I could go back and change it.”

Kevin shook his head. “No, don’t think about going back. We just have to think about moving forward. You have to talk to the other guys, you know.”

Brian nodded. “I tried calling Nick, Howie, and AJ sometime in October. I wanted to talk to Nick, but his number had changed, so I called AJ to see if he had it. AJ was busy with wedding stuff, and, when I called Howie, he was busy, too. I fell apart, Kevin. I had no right to because I caused all the trouble. But, not being able to talk to them, I realized how badly I had screwed up.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I was scared of you the most. You were the one who got all of us through everything, and I let you down. I was afraid you’d just say, well, tough. You got yourself into this mess, now you have to get yourself out of it. Which is true, Kevin,” Brian added.

Kevin sighed. “I should have called you. Checked up on how you were doing because, no matter how angry I may have been, you’re still my brother, Brian. And I shouldn’t, we shouldn’t have abandoned you. I’m sorry the others didn’t come. They should be here.”

Brian shook his head. “I don’t care. I’m just glad you’re not angry with me. God, Kevin, I just want to pinch myself sometimes to make sure that everything is really this messed up or if it’s a dream. I want to wake up one day and be able to walk into Nick’s room and jump on his bed, or some other stupid shit, you know? I want to be able to sing again.”

“I was cast as Billy Flynn in Chicago on Broadway,” Kevin blurted out.

“What? Kevin! That’s freaking awesome! Imagine that,” Brian wondered, “my cousin on Broadway. Broad-freaking-way! And in Chicago! Holy shit, Kevin!” And he threw his arms around his cousin, thrilled.

Kevin hugged him back, thanking God that they were able to have any sort of contact with each other again.

Brian settled back. “I have to talk to the others. I have to make it right, again. I don’t want this to be the end of the Backstreet Boys. We need to sing again, prove that we’re better than *N Sync. That we’re not a flash in the pan act, you know? We’re brothers, we can do this again. And, in order to do this again, I have to fix it first.”

“Yeah, but we have to work together again, too,” Kevin admitted.

The door behind them opened, and Kristin stepped out.

“Hey, you two. I’m hoping all is mostly well,” Kristin began, “because your mother, Brian, is about to have multiple cows. She’s been looking all over God’s green earth for you. You have to cut the cake.”

Brian jumped up. “Crap. Mom told me not to disappear. Great, I’m not going to hear the end of this one.” And he hurried inside.

Kristin slipped an arm around her husband’s waist. “Feel better?”

Kevin sighed and kissed her. “You have no idea. He’s been a mess, thinking all of us hated him when we really didn’t know if he wanted anything to do with us. Apparently, he tried calling the others and didn’t get any return calls. And he was afraid of me! Imagine that.”

Kristin shook her head. “Imagine that…being scared of Kevin “If you don’t do it, I will beat you with a cane” Richardson. Huh.”

“Shut up.”

“Let’s eat cake, Kevin,” Kristin smiled.

Sienna yanked off her shoes and resisted the urge to throw them at the wall. The nerve of the man! She’d been working up a good steam, and he’d looked at her with those anguished, blue eyes, and she’d melted. Why the hell did he have to be so goddamn flawed? She’d always had a soft spot for flawed men.

“Yeah, and look where that’s gotten you,” she said to herself. “Nowhere. That’s what. Idiot. Flaming, fucking idiot. In capital letters.”

She shrugged off the dress and pulled on shorts and a tank top then walked around her house, watering the plants. As she watered, she turned on the Save the Last Dance soundtrack and danced.

“Hello, Viola,” she murmured to the African violet on her mantle. “How are you doing? I hope you like this water.”

She had just finished up watering the plants when her doorbell rang. Wondering who the hell could be ringing her doorbell at—she checked the clock—one in the morning, she cautiously opened the door.

“Hi,” Brian said, shivering on her porch. “How’s it going? Mom told me where you lived. I came to get my birthday present.”

Sienna’s brows lifted. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I went through every present in the last hour, and I didn’t find a single one from you. I thought you might have forgotten it at home, so I came to get it,” Brian explained.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, right?”

Brian shook his head. “Nope. Pay up.”

“Okay, first of all, I wasn’t even planning on going tonight, but your mom insisted. And, second of all, I thought, why bother getting the guy, who can buy himself everything, a present? I mean, seriously. So, no, there really is no present,” Sienna finished.

“Fine, okay, that’s fine,” Brian said. “Then I have a request. There is something you can give me that doesn’t require buying anything.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“One night.”

“Excuse me?” Sienna felt outrage bubbling inside her.

Brian grinned. “Stop being so dirty. I want one night to talk to you. Just talk. I feel this incredible connection to you, so I want to develop it.”

“Well for God’s sake, come inside, before I freeze standing here,” Sienna grumbled as she let him in and hung his coat on the coat rack.

He wandered around the living room and looked at everything. Then he turned back to her.

“Wow, this place is gorgeous. It’s very you. All the flowers and colors.”

“Yeah, I personally like the red, yellow, and orange, too,” Sienna muttered, then yanked a robe out of her closet and pulled it on, so she wouldn’t feel naked around him. The man had a way of doing that to you when he looked at you. Especially if you were only wearing a tank top and shorts.

She watched Brian plop down onto a couch and grin at her.

“Well? Talk,” she said, irritated. “Honestly, I don’t know what to do with you! Jesus. Did you want something to drink, too? Water, soda, cocoa, coffee, alcohol?”

“Nope, just you. Sit, sit,” Brian patted the couch next to him. “Let me just say first that,” he winced at the look she gave him as she sat next to him, “it takes me a lifetime to be comfortable around a woman. It takes me six months of dating to be able to feel comfortable enough to kiss her. But, since we’re not dating and don’t plan on it, I feel like I can talk to you.”

“Wait. Who said we couldn’t date? Or is this a rule you just made up?” Sienna wondered, irritated with herself for asking the question.

Brian looked surprised. “Well, I thought—don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“No,” Sienna felt more annoyed thinking of Scott. The bastard. “We broke up in October. He’s in New York.”

“Oh, well, then, I mean…if you want to date, I guess we…” Brian trailed off, confused. “What the hell is going on? I mean, seriously, I think you’re attractive, but, I, well, I like what we have. I like being able to just talk to you like we did the last time.”

“We’re not the same people we were seven months ago,” Sienna murmured. “It’s okay, Brian. I’m just cranky. So, tell me,” she began. “How did it go with Kevin?”

Brian brightened instantly. “Everything is fantastic! Seriously, I just groveled, and we talked through a lot of what we were feeling. A lot of it is misunderstanding, and, now, we just have to work our way back. I have to talk to all the guys. I think I’m going to start with Nick. I really need him back. Then, I’ll find Howie and AJ.”

“Good,” Sienna smiled. “I’m glad it’s all going to start working out. I told you all it would take is time.”

“Yeah,” Brian said. “I wanted to thank you for talking to a complete stranger for three hours when you really didn’t have to.”

Sienna shook her head. “Brian, seriously. If I hadn’t wanted to talk to you, I wouldn’t have. I felt like talking to someone, too. And, if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have made a new friend,” she added.

“Uh, about that,” Brian began. “So, I know you gave me your number, but, umm…”

“You didn’t call. Ever,” Sienna finished for him. “Don’t worry, Brian. I only wanted to hurt you a few times for not calling. It’s all right. Besides, it’s not like we’d known each other very long either.”

“I know, but I’ve never been able to talk to anyone that openly in a long time,” Brian said. “So, I thought it was unfair to not call you.”

“Why didn’t you call? Or drop by the shop?”

Brian resisted the urge to squirm. “I didn’t think I would fit into your life anywhere.”

Sienna seemed confused. “What? Why not? It never hurts to have a new friend.”

“Yeah, but it’s not friends I wanted to be,” Brian muttered. Then decided to bite the bullet. “I was attracted to you, and I still am. But, at the time, you were with someone, and I was an emotional wreck.”

“And now?”

“Huh? Oh, um,” Brian bit his lip. “Sienna, I’m still attracted to you, and I wouldn’t mind having a relationship with you. But only if you wanted to, of course,” he added in a hurry.

“Brian, I’m not going to lie and say I’m not attracted to you, too. Or that I haven’t thought about you. A lot,” she admitted. “But, the thing is, the more I think about it, the more I don’t want to date you.”

“Wait. What? Why the hell not? If you’re attracted to me, and I’m attracted to you, I don’t see what the problem is,” Brian wondered.

“I like challenges. I’d rather be your friend than your girlfriend, even while I’m attracted to you. Besides, you live in Atlanta, which is a ways away. I don’t do long-distance relationships,” Sienna added.

Brian mulled it over. “So, we’re still friends? How about friends with benefits?”

“Nope. It would ruin the friendship angle because one of us would want more, and it’s exactly what I don’t want happening. To be frank, I just got out of an eighteen month relationship. The last thing I want to do is get into another one,” Sienna explained.

“Okay,” Brian said. “I can deal with that. So, friends.” He held out a hand.

“Friends,” Sienna replied, and shook his hand.

Brian smiled. “Well, friend, what shall we do now?”

“We aren’t doing anything anymore, tonight,” Sienna answered. “I’ve got to be at the shop in six hours. So, I need to go to sleep. Soon.”

Brian shrugged. “Well, some other time, then. Do you want to have lunch sometime? I’m going to be in town for a while.”

“How long?”

Brian sighed. “I’m thinking about moving home because Atlanta has bad memories. I mean, I’m keeping the house I’ve got down there. But, I want to spend the next couple years, or more, back in Lexington.”

“Huh. So, are you planning on buying a condo or an apartment?”

“Probably. Unless I find something cozy or whatever,” Brian replied.

Sienna nodded. “Well, if I hear about anything, I’ll let you know.”

Brian stood. “Thanks. Really. I appreciate it. And the fact that you let me in after one in the morning,” he added with an apologetic smile.

“No problem,” she said. “I’m glad to see you again, Brian. Seriously. We should do that lunch sometime soon. You’ve lost weight.”

“It’s been a long seven months,” he answered simply.

“You don’t have to explain,” she told him.

Brian shook his head as he grabbed his coat and pulled it on.

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s that I do and will, but over lunch sometime soon.”

“Okay,” Sienna agreed. “How about the day after tomorrow? Are you busy from noon to one?”

“Nope,” Brian answered. “My days here are a blank slate. I can do whatever, whenever. So, noon on Saturday works. Do you want me to meet you at the shop?”

“No, I don’t work Saturdays,” Sienna explained. “Just come by here around noon.”

Brian nodded. Then opening the door, he turned back to her.

“Good night, Sienna.”

“’Night, Brian.”

And the door shut behind him. As it shut, Sienna wanted to kick herself. She had spent four months thinking about dating him, and, when he said he was attracted, something in her said no. She realized that she didn’t want to date him—or not yet. She liked their current relationship and imagined it would only get better. After all, now that they both knew how they felt about the other, they’d probably work extra hard to decrease the tension. It would be a fun friendship, Sienna imagined. Then, remembering that she really did have work in the morning, she turned off the lights and music and crawled into bed.

Lunch went smoothly, and over the next few weeks, as spring bloomed, so did Sienna and Brian’s friendship. He had explained to her about the doubts, fears, and unanswered phone calls he had endured and had told her about seeing Leighanne. How he hadn’t felt desire for her but for the family she had. When news came, in March, about Leighanne giving birth to a daughter, Brian came to realize that he felt nothing at all. Just a sense of satisfaction that someone he’d cared about was happy.

In late March, Faith had finally run into Brian when he was at Sienna’s house. Her ear-splitting shrieks had made Brian laugh and Sienna wince. After nearly fainting, Faith managed to have a normal conversation with Brian—one that didn’t involve asking about the other Boys too much. Brian had decided he liked her.

Later, when Sienna was weeding out the winter flowers and planting new ones for spring in her greenhouse, he hung around and learned the different flower names and when to plant them. He would ask her about her opinions on different homes, condos, and apartments. Once, he managed to drag her to see a condo, which both of them hated at first sight. Finally, after a month and a half of searching, Brian settled on a place, but he wouldn’t let her see it.

“Not until I move in,” Brian promised. “I want to get it all fixed up, and then you can come over. It’s got a great flower bed area, and I wanted to ask your advice about it, too.”

“Brian, if you want to plant flowers, you’re going to have to do it soon,” Sienna told him. “Which is why I should see it as soon as possible. So I can help you out with it, you know.”

“Uh-uh. Nope, not yet. Give me two weeks, Sienna. I promise you’ll see it soon,” Brian repeated.

So, two weeks later, he blindfolded her and drove her to his new house. Once he helped her out of the car, he untied the blindfold and waited for her reaction.

Sienna looked at the house he had bought and took in the pretty, two story, cottage structure with its white, stone walls and blue shutters. There were definitely flowerbeds in need of flowers and a lovely wraparound porch where a large porch swing sat. Slowly, she turned to face Brian.

“Did you do this on purpose?” she asked.

Brian was perplexed. “Do what on purpose?”

“Buy a house not a half mile down the street from where I live! What are you trying to pull, Brian?!” Sienna was practically screaming.

“Nothing,” Brian shouted back. “I liked the house. I thought it was cozy, and it feels like my house. That’s why I bought it! Not to be closer to you! I hadn’t even realized that until I bought the house and looked at the street name on the form. Okay?”

Sienna blew out a breath. She was being unreasonable and knew it. It scared her to know he was so close. Something was going to go wrong, and she didn’t want him close enough to be tempting. It was bad enough that he would drop by to see her every day. And he brought her things. Little doodads and tchochkes he’d seen and thought she might like. Now, she had dancing frogs as wind chimes, a stuffed penguin plopped on an armchair in her bedroom, and a bobble-head dog that sat on her dashboard and nodded to her all day—among other things. She had to admit she secretly liked everything, but it still bothered her that he would just bring her things.

“Yes, okay, that’s fine. I’m sorry, I don’t know what set me off,” Sienna apologized. “Brian, the house is amazing. And the flowerbeds have so much potential; we could do so much with them! Can we see inside?”

Brian nodded and led her up the steps into the house. The first floor had a small den, a living room, dining room, and a cozy little kitchen. He had placed the biggest, most comfortable couches in the den and streamlined beige sofas in the living room. The dining room had a lovely mahogany dining set. Sienna loved the fireplace in the den and told him that, when he had kids, he should read to them in front of the fireplace because it was the perfect place to sit and dream. She missed the pained expression on his face as she moved up the stairs. The second floor had three bedrooms and a study. The study was full of books, but, against one wall, Brian had hung all the album awards, pictures, and memoirs from the ten years the Backstreet Boys had been together. Sienna walked over to look at some of the earlier photos and laughed.

“What?” Brian asked.

“Nothing. It’s just, well, look at you!” she tried hard to stop laughing as she pointed to the picture of the Boys on the stoop of a Disney World set.

Brian shook his head as he realized which picture she was giggling over.

“Okay, yeah, I admit it. The hair, the clothes, and that expression were the coolest thing to me ten years ago. I was eighteen, and we all do stupid stuff when we’re younger,” he tried to explain. Then gave up and laughed with her.

When he had shown her the entire house and they were moving back down the stairs, they heard a scratching sound from the back of the house.

“Brian? What was that?” Sienna asked, a little wary of the kinds of wild animals that could possibly scratch on doors.

“Oh, that’s just my dogs,” Brian called over his shoulder as he walked to the back door. When he opened it, two little Chihuahuas darted in and began to jump up and down around his legs. Brian lifted them up and walked towards Sienna.

“Sienna, these are my dogs—Tyk and Litty Leigh,” he held them out so she could pet them, and they could sniff her hands. “They usually like most people right away. And, look, they like you!” he congratulated her as both dogs tried to leap into her arms.

There was a meowing sound as Sienna took hold of the two yapping pups, and Brian began to look under the table for something.

“Missy? Baby, where are you?” he called. “There you are,” he exclaimed as he reached into a cupboard and pulled out a cat that rubbed against him. “And this is my cat, Missy,” he introduced the cat to Sienna.

“You’ve got a regular old menagerie here, don’t you?” Sienna wondered, amused.

Brian grinned. “I love these guys. They’re fantastic!”

“Why Litty Leigh?” Sienna wondered. And then she wished she hadn’t asked the most obvious question when she saw Brian’s smile disappear.

“Leighanne and I bought the dogs together, and I named Litty after her,” he explained.

“I’m sorry,” Sienna began.

“No, don’t be. My life’s an open book to you, and all you have to do is ask,” Brian told her.

Sienna managed a smile while mentally kicking herself. “So, now that I’ve seen your house and met your pets, what’s next?”

Brian smiled mischievously. “Lunch!”

***

The door jingled open, and Sienna glanced up from the bouquet of daffodils she was tying together with a bow for elderly Aislinn Gaiman. Brian walked in with a grim expression on his face. Uh-oh, Sienna thought, but smiled as she rang up Mrs. Gaiman’s purchase.

When Mrs. Gaiman turned away from the counter with her daffodils, she spotted Brian.

“Brian Littrell? Is that you?” she called.

Brian frowned and walked closer. Then, the frown cleared, and his face lit up.

“Mrs. Gaiman! How are you? I haven’t seen you since the fifth grade!” he exclaimed, giving her a careful hug.

“Well, that’s probably because I retired the following year, and you went gallivanting off around the world with that angel voice and face of yours,” she answered, giving him a fond smile.

He had been one of her favorite students because of his angelic behavior, although she had seen the humorous side of him multiple times, too. Like the time he’d put a frog on her desk, and she hadn’t seen it until it had ribbit-ed at her. He’d laughed hysterically as she had scolded him. Then, she couldn’t help but laugh, too.

Brian spoke with her for a few minutes then helped her to her car, while Sienna cleaned up. When he came back in, she came around the counter.

“I never thought I’d see her again,” he said. “She told me you’re a ‘good girl’. And then she said if I knew what was what, I would beg you to marry me!”

Sienna smiled. “Every young, eligible man that comes in here is treated to that same lecture. So, what’s wrong?”

Brian sighed. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” Sienna shook her head. “Okay, well, I have a flight to the Keys in about two hours. I’m going to see Nick.”

“Good,” Sienna said, even as she wondered what it would be like without him for a few days.
“Yeah, I think it’s time to face my demons and find my friends again,” Brian said. “I just wanted to let you know. I mean, you’ve helped me work through all this stuff that’s been going on in my head.”

“I’m glad I could help,” Sienna replied.

Brian shuffled his feet. “So, I guess, this is goodbye for a few days.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then. Goodbye, Sienna. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Sienna smiled. “Good luck. I’m sure everything will work out.” And she hugged him.

Brian hugged her back then turned to walk out the door. And stopped with his hand on the door.

“Sienna?”

“Yeah, Brian?”

“I know it’s only a few days, but I’m going to miss you.”

Sienna tried to stop the frantic rumba her heart was doing and said, “I’ll miss you, too, Brian.”

He looked back at her with impossibly blue eyes and smiled. Then he pushed open the door and walked out.

Nick Carter fidgeted with his keys, his cell phone, and anything else he could get his hands on. He wished furiously for a cigarette but knew it wasn’t the way he wanted to see his best friend for the first time in a year. If they were still best friends, Nick thought. Last time he’d seen Brian, they’d fought about Nick’s solo career, his arrest, and the fact that he was abandoning the band to further his own glory, as Brian had put it. Then, he’d stormed out of the meeting room. Kevin had told him to let it go, but Nick had been angry and sworn to never speak to the brother of his heart again.

The plan had been working pretty well, except that Nick had found himself desperately wanting to call Brian whenever anything important happened. When he’d heard about Leighanne’s wedding, Nick had picked up the phone only to get Brian’s answering machine. His nerve failed when he had thought about calling Brian’s cell. The day Now or Never came out, the day he found out how badly he’d failed, BJ’s arrest with marijuana, and the day he’d found out about AJ’s relapse, Nick had itched to pick up the phone and call Brian. Until he remembered that Brian hadn’t called him. Obviously, Brian was moving on and didn’t need Nick in his life. So, he hadn’t gone to Brian’s twenty-eighth birthday bash he’d gotten the invitation for. If Brian didn’t need him, then he most certainly did not need Brian.

Nick had been surprised when he’d received a call from Brian, two weeks ago. Brian had asked him how he was and if he was going to be home during the third week of April. Nick’s schedule had been depressingly empty, but he’d tried to make it sound as though he was busy. When he heard the saddened note in Brian’s voice telling him that it was okay, he would try some other time, Nick had told him that he could make room.

Now, Nick stood outside the Marathon airport waiting for Brian to walk out. He still didn’t know what he would say but hoped that he would say the right thing. He’d called Kevin, asking if it was a good idea to see Brian. Kevin had laughed and told him to go for it, that maybe he’d be in for a surprise. Nick sincerely hoped the “surprise” would not be painful.

“Nick!”

He looked around to see who was calling his name. Then, he spotted Brian and waved back. He watched Brian as he walked towards him. He’d lost weight, was the first thing that popped into Nick’s mind. The guy had been skinny to begin with and now looked downright sickly.

When they were face to face, they stood awkwardly, until Brian reached out and hugged Nick. When Nick hugged him back, Brian felt an ocean of relief flood away his anxiety.

“How have you been?” Brian asked.

“Not bad. You?”

“I’ve been better,” Brian answered.

Nick shook his head. “I’ve seen junkies with more meat on their bones than you, man. Let’s get you some food.”

“I’d rather just talk,” Brian began.

“Dude, we can talk while we eat. I feel like I’m looking at a poster child for the Sudan or something,” Nick muttered. “You are going to eat everything we get.”

“What about you?”

“I’m trying to lose weight,” Nick grinned over at Brian as he unlocked the doors to a dark green Jeep. Brian just shook his head.

“You’ve still got this old heap?” he asked, amused that Nick had so doggedly hung onto his first car.

“Yeah. Are you laughing at me?”

“Nope. I think it’s nice that you hold onto your old treasures,” Brian answered soberly.

Nick shook his head and pulled into traffic heading to town.

***


Fifteen minutes later, they walked into a restaurant that looked the equivalent to a beachside shack. It advertised “The Best Shrimp and Lobster in Marathon” and smelled like heaven to Brian.

They settled into a booth in a corner and a waitress came over to take their order. If she realized who they were, she didn’t say. Nick ordered a small basket of shrimp for himself. Brian ordered the same, then, seeing the look on Nick’s face, ordered a large basket of shrimp, breaded cod, coleslaw, and french fries.

“So,” Nick began, leaning back in his chair, “you came all the way from Atlanta to talk. About what?”

Brian sighed. “I’m living in Lexington, right now. I bought a cottage. I still have the place in Atlanta, but I needed to be out of it for a while.”

“You should have sold that place three years ago, Brian. It’s not helping you to stay in the house you and Leighanne lived in,” Nick said.

“I know, but I still love it. Anyway, I wanted to see you. To apologize,” Brian added.

Nick leaned forward. “Brian, I—why now? Why not months ago?”

“Because I wasn’t ready. I thought I was in October, so I tried to call you but found out your number was changed. I couldn’t get a hold of Howie or AJ, either,” he added. “I’m sorry about the things I said a year ago, Nick. I was still bitter over Leighanne, worried about AJ, and I didn’t want us to fall apart. The Backstreet Boys was all I had left, and I couldn’t handle losing that because you wanted to go out on your own. So, I lashed out and said things I ended up regretting. Your album was amazing, and I was angry with myself for not being there with you when it came out,” Brian finished.

Nick blew out a breath. “I don’t know what to say, Bri. All this time, I’ve wanted to call you, but I didn’t because I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. If I had known you didn’t have my number, I would’ve called you. I did call you once, but you weren’t there.”

“When?”

“The day after Leigh’s wedding. I called you at home and got your answering machine. I was too nervous to call your cell. I guess I chickened out,” Nick admitted.

Brian sighed. “If I had known…I would’ve tried harder to find you sooner. I really am sorry, Nick.”

They stopped talking while the waitress delivered their food. Brian looked from his pile of food to the single bucket of shrimp that sat in front of Nick.

“Are you sure you don’t want any of this, Nick?” he asked.

“Uh-uh. It’s all yours, man. You need it much more than I do.”

“Jerk.”

“Hey! I’m trying to be the good best friend by feeding my starved pal, okay? That does not qualify me for jerk status,” Nick tried to sound offended.

Brian simply watched him.

“What?” Nick asked after a minute.

Brian shook his head. “I’m just wondering if we are still best friends, or friends at all.”

“Well, of course we are! Why else am I letting you stay at my place for three days, Brian?” Nick wondered.

“I just—well, I just thought that after everything I said, you might not want to be friends,” Brian explained.

“Nope. As soon as you called, I knew it would be okay. It’s always been okay between us, Frick. When we weren’t talking, I was scared. But, now, I know we’ll be okay,” Nick replied.

“God, Nicky,” Brian felt overwhelmed, then laughed when he saw Nick’s pained expression. “Sorry, I forgot. I promise I’ll never call you Nicky again.”

Nick reached across the table and grabbed Brian’s hand. “I’m so glad I’ve got you again. I’ve been on unstable ground for a year. The album tanked, the tour tanked, my life tanked. I just need to know I’ve got you still.”

“Yes,” Brian promised. “I swear to you, I am going to be the supportive friend. I promise.” Then he pushed back from the table. “I cannot eat anymore, Nick. Not even if you give me the evil glare. It’s too much.”

“Dude, give me a break,” Nick rolled his eyes. “You ate like half the shrimp, half the coleslaw, a teeny bit of that fish, and, oh look, no french fries. Seriously, hasn’t anyone been feeding you?”

“Yeah, but I have all this nervous energy and work it all off,” Brian answered.

“So, you’ve been eating your mom’s food, and it hasn’t stuck to you. What have you been so nervous about?” Nick asked.

Brian looked over at him. “Seeing you, Howie, and AJ again. It’s scary not knowing if you guys will take me back or leave me in the dirt. And, for the record, my mom has not been feeding me,” he added.

“Can I just say that Howie, AJ, and I have been really leery of seeing you again because we’re afraid we might get yelled at again?”

“Yeah, Kevin said something like that when I got around to talking to him on my birthday,” Brian answered. “I’m sorry I made you guys think I wanted nothing to do with you. Honestly, you guys are the closest friends I have, or had, and I’ve been floundering without you. I’m glad we’re okay, now.”

“Yeah, me too. Hey, let’s go get some ice cream and hang out on the beach!” Nick suggested, excitedly.

“Pal of mine, it’s dark out. Why do we want to go to the beach in the dark? We are not on a date,” Brian reminded him jokingly.

“No, seriously. The moon’s supposed to be full tonight and the stars’ll be out. It’s the most amazing thing you’ll ever see,” Nick promised.

“All right, you win,” Brian threw up his hands.

“Awesome.”

***

“So, who’s been feeding you the past couple months?” Nick asked, as he and Brian wandered along the beach where the waves barely lapped at their bare feet. Brian carried a cone topped with strawberry shortcake, while Nick’s was Rocky Road.

“Huh?” Brian asked. “Where did that question come from?”

“Well, earlier. You said that your mom hadn’t been feeding you, but that somebody had been feeding you,” Nick explained.

“Yeah, well, it’s this woman I met last July,” Brian began.

“Hold up. You’ve been dating a woman for almost a year, and it hasn’t been in the newspapers yet?” Nick wondered. “What is the world coming to?”

“No, I haven’t dated anyone since Leigh,” Brian explained.

“So, you’ve been celibate for three years? Wow,” Nick said admiringly.

“Shut up and let me finish,” Brian retorted. “So, last July I walked into this flower shop to buy my mom a flower bouquet or something for her birthday because I was back in town. The woman who runs the place, Sienna, she built it from the ground up. And she’s gorgeous. I talked to her about everything that night. But, we didn’t sleep together,” he quickly added before Nick could ask.

“I know. You’re Brian. You never sleep with a woman until you’ve been dating at least a year,” Nick reminded him.

“Oh be quiet. Anyway, I was attracted to her and still am. But, last summer, she had a boyfriend, so it was a no go. I saw her again in February because my mom hired her to decorate for my birthday. She made Kevin and me talk. Since then, we’ve been hanging out, and she’s been helping me plant my gardens at my house,” Brian finished.

“Ah,” Nick said. “It makes sense, now. She must be a strong and smart woman to hold against the Brian Littrell charm for so long.”

“She’s amazing, and she is attracted to me. She told me, but then she said she just wanted to be friends because it would be more challenging to be friends knowing that we both wanted each other,” Brian defended himself.

“Crazy. I think I want to meet her,” Nick replied.

“Drop by Lexington and meet her.”

“Maybe I will, Bri, maybe I will."

Sienna dug up another stubborn weed and gritted her teeth as it came out of the ground. She imagined it was Brian, Mr. “I’ll be back in three days” Littrell. It had been a week, and she’d heard no word from him. And then, to add insult to injury, she couldn’t believe she was sitting here in his neglected flowerbeds, fixing them. The bastard. He was probably off playing with next-to-naked women in the Keys. She imagined the next weed was him and nearly ripped it to shreds. Wiping the sweat off her forehead, she began to laugh at her reaction to everything.

A car door shut and she heard the jerk’s voice call, “Lucy, I’m home!”

She lay back in the grass and stared up at the blue, blue sky and the hot, hot sun and wondered if hearing voices was a side effect of sunstroke. Then again, who heard of getting sunstroke in late April?

Brian freaked out when he watched Sienna fall back onto the grass next to the large pile of weeds. He ran over to where she lay and leaned over to look at her.

“Sienna? Baby, are you okay?” he asked.

Sienna waved her hand at his face and realized he was really there.

“Huh, I guess I don’t have sunstroke,” she murmured. When she tried to stand up she swayed. “Whoops! I think I got up too fast,” she said, mostly to herself.

Brian hooked an arm around her waist and helped her up the stairs as he scolded her.

“What were you thinking weeding when it’s ninety degrees out today? Have you no sense?! Did you drink any water while you were out there? How long were you out there? What were you thinking?”

Sienna shook her head as she sat down in a kitchen chair. “Too many questions, Brian. One at a time.” She sighed hugely when he set a large glass of water in front of her. “Thank God. One second,” she murmured as she drank down the glass in less than twenty seconds. “Okay, so, your questions,” she began when she had downed the glass. “I told you I would help you weed today, so here I am. So you weren’t here. That doesn’t mean I would break my promise. And, I forgot my water bottle at home and didn’t want to waste time going all the way home to get it.”

Brian held up a hand to stop her, then disappeared out of the kitchen. When he came back, he put a key in her hand.

“There. Now, anytime you need anything, you can come in and get it here,” Brian explained simply.

“Brian, I can’t take this key,” Sienna said while trying to hand it back to him.

Brian shook his head. “Nope, I gave it to you. It’s yours. And, I’m sorry it took me a few days more to get back home. Nick and I had a lot to catch up on. And, you were right again,” he added.

“Well, of course, I was right. But, I still can’t have your house key,” Sienna replied.

“Fine. Give me a key to your place, too,” Brian said. “We’ll be even.”

“Fine. And, yeah, I was a little mad that you weren’t here, but I don’t have any other time to weed your beds because there is a rush at the store this time of year,” Sienna explained.

“I’m sorry,” Brian apologized.

She waved it off. “Don’t worry about it. It’s done. You’re here, now. Let me show you how to do it really quickly.” She glanced at her watch. “I have to go home, wash up, and get ready for a date tonight. So, I have to teach you how to weed on your own in twenty minutes.”

Brian nodded and followed her out even as he thought, A date? She’s going on a date?! Who the hell is the guy? It doesn’t matter because he doesn’t deserve her. Although, lying to yourself is a bad idea. Just admit it. You’re jealous because it’s not you.

He shook of the bad mood and concentrated on the right way to pull out a weed.

***

Over the next month and a half, Brian flew to Los Angeles to see Howie and came back thrilled that everything was looking fantastic. Except that he now knew what had been going on with AJ in the last few months. Sarah had broken their engagement because AJ had gone to an AA meeting, then ended up getting drunk with a fellow alcoholic and slept with her. AJ’s world had crashed, and he’d lost his sobriety and his fiancée in a few short days.

Currently, according to Howie, he was working on the sobriety issue by spending time with his mom in West Palm Beach. Brian hadn’t felt up to seeing AJ, yet. But, he had managed to call AJ and invite him to spend some time with him in Lexington. AJ had been excited to come, and they’d decided that he would come during the second week of June.

Sienna had heard this tale nearly a thousand times, and today was no different.

“He’s coming tomorrow! Can you believe it? What am I supposed to say to him? ‘Gosh, AJ, I am so sorry I was such a jackass that I couldn’t be bothered to check up on you? I’m sorry I wasn’t there when everything terrible happened to you?’ I can’t say that,” Brian lamented.

“Brian?”

“Yeah, Sienna?”

“Shut up. I think you’re scaring away my customers,” she told him. Then she began to laugh at the look on his face.

“Seriously, Brian, I think you’ll know the right thing to say. Besides, if he’s anything like Nick, he probably won’t know what to say to you, either,” Sienna reassured him.

Nick had dropped by for a week in mid-May and met Sienna. She still remembered the way he had whistled at her appreciatively. So, she’d hammed it up a bit, and he’d tripped over his own two feet, while Brian roared with laughter. She’d liked him, and, later, he’d confessed that he had been terrified to see Brian again and hadn’t known what to say. But, somehow, everything just seemed to work out naturally.

“Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine,” Brian began to mutter to himself as a mantra.

“Brian, you’ll be fine! I promise!”

“Okay, okay. I was just kidding. You know, to see how you’d react.”

She threw a rose stem at him.

***

AJ McLean had not been to Lexington, Kentucky in nearly four years. The last time they’d been here, it had been on the Black and Blue tour. And we all know how badly that ended, AJ thought.

He was driving a rental sedan through South Lexington and laughed when he thought what all of his old coke buddies would think if they could see him now. But, he realized he didn’t care what they thought because they hadn’t been true friends. What he was driving towards was the real deal. He needed his friends, his brothers back. They were his family, his roots, and he’d been withering without them. He’d lost Sarah through his own stupidity, but he knew if the Boys didn’t work out their problems, he would lose everything.

When he found Thatcher Road, he turned on to it and had driven about a quarter mile when he saw a cottage. Brian had told him that he lived in a cottage, and AJ figured this must be it.

He pulled in and got out of the car. Brian had surely come a long way if he was living in what was a shack compared to the estate he had outside of Atlanta. AJ climbed the steps and rang the doorbell. When the door opened, he felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

“So, you’re not Brian,” he said. “I’m sorry, I got the wrong house. Sorry for bothering you. Have a great day.”

“Wait,” Sienna stopped him. “You must be AJ. Brian’s been freaking out over your arrival for the last couple days. It’s been impossibly annoying.”

“How do you know Brian?” AJ wondered.

Sienna shrugged. “We’re friends.”

“Oh,” AJ said lamely. Damn, Brian hit the jackpot with friends, AJ thought. Then remembered what Nick had told him. “You must be Sienna! Nick told me about meeting you! It all makes so much more sense now. And, damn, you’re amazing.”

“Why thank you,” Sienna grinned. “I think Brian was expecting you to get here around six tonight. He’s not home, right now. Would you like to come in?”

AJ shook his head. “Nah, I wouldn’t want to put you out. I’ll just drive around for a bit, call Brian, and see when he’ll be by his house.” AJ paused. “Where is his house, by the way? I think maybe I took a wrong turn.”

“Nope. You just have to keep going another half a mile. Are you sure you don’t want to come in? I’m not doing much but repotting spider plants,” Sienna told him.

AJ thought a moment then shrugged. “Oh, what the hell. Sounds good. Thanks.”

Sienna held the door open as he entered the house.

***

Brian checked his watch again and tried not to curse at the traffic he was stuck in trying to get back home. He had taken a trip north of Lexington to see Anne Richardson. He had meant to stay only for a couple hours but somehow two hours had turned into six. AJ was going to be stuck outside his house at the rate traffic was going. He tried to call AJ’s cell for the fiftieth time, got his voicemail again, and gave up.

When he saw the exit for Lanside, he remembered that Sienna’s friend Liv lived there and took the exit. If he could get out of his car for a bit maybe he’d be able to think better. He turned onto Marsh Street and pulled up to the tidy brownstone he knew was Liv’s.

Liv opened the door moments after Brian rang the doorbell, surprised.

“Brian? What are you doing here? Don’t you have a guest arriving tonight?” she asked him.

Brian shuffled his feet and gave an embarrassed smile. “Okay, yeah, I do. But traffic is horrendous out there, and I’ve been sitting in a car for three hours. I needed to get out.”

Liv held the door open for him, and, once inside, he asked to use her phone.

“Hi, you’ve reached Sienna! I’m sorry but I can’t answer the phone right now. If you leave me a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Have a fantastic day and may all your flowers bloom well! Beep!”

Brian hung up and let out a frustrated breath. “I’ve called AJ a thousand times, and he doesn’t pick up! And Sienna won’t pick up her cell or her house phone, either! Where on earth could either of them be?!”

Liv set down the bowl of soup she had been sipping from and patted his shoulder.

“Brian, Si’s probably in her greenhouse, and AJ might have run out battery or isn’t in a place with good signal. Relax. Watch the news and wait for the traffic to die down, okay? Besides, if I knew a faster route to get you home, I’d have told you by now. Unfortunately, the only way is by highway,” Liv sighed.

Brian shook his head. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault anyway. And, hey, if traffic is that bad, maybe AJ didn’t get home either!” He brightened up. “And maybe, the reason he isn’t answering is because the sound of traffic or music in the car is too loud! Everything might turn out okay, after all.”

Liv smiled. “That’s the spirit. Want some soup?”

“In June? Are you kidding me? Why are you drinking it?”

Liv coughed for effect. “I’m sick. Well, actually, it’s allergies. Late spring flowers get to me.”

“And you and Sienna are friends?” Brian was incredulous. “Amazing.”

Liv nodded. “Kinda hard to figure out, huh? But, yeah, it’s true. Every June, I would be sniffling away and Si would just keep going with her planting. We just wouldn’t see each other that often.”

Brian sat at the table with her. “Tell me about her when you guys were younger.”

Liv looked at him with amused emerald eyes. “How interested in her are you?”

“That obvious, huh?” Brian hesitated. “A lot. An unbelievable amount, and she’s never going to be interested in me that much. She’s such an amazing woman, you know? So, tell me about how she was when she was younger,” he repeated.

Liv thought a moment, then a slow, sly smile spread across her face. “Let me tell you about the time we went skinny dipping, when we were sixteen. The guy she was dating stole her clothes and wouldn’t give them back until she slept with him! The nerve of the guy! But our Sienna is no fool…”

***

Sienna woke to the moonlight shining through her open curtains. She sat up in bed and immediately felt an arm around her waist. Realizing that not only was she naked, she was not alone in the bed, she began to panic. She looked down into AJ’s sleeping face and tried to remember exactly how it was that they had ended up in bed together. When she couldn’t recall entirely, she gave up and lay back down. Reminding herself to turn the air-conditioning down, she curled up into the heat AJ radiated and tried to fall asleep again.

She had nearly managed to fall asleep when she heard Brian’s voice. The front door opened, and she remembered he had the key to her house.

“Sienna? Hey, I was wondering if you had seen AJ at all today? Sienna?”

She heard him pause as he moved around downstairs then began to walk up the steps calling her name. Panic, embarrassment, and fear had her frozen in one spot.

When Brian stepped into the doorway of her bedroom, he flipped on the light and froze.

“Sienna? AJ?” his voice wavered a bit, then he nearly roared. “What the hell is going on here?!”

AJ stirred and sleepily looked at Sienna, then his gaze sharpened when he saw the look on Brian’s face.

“Jesus, Brian. Listen, you have to listen. This isn’t…”

“What isn’t it, AJ?!” Brian’s voice had dropped deadly low and had Sienna terrified.

AJ hesitated and looked over at Sienna, but her eyes were rooted to Brian’s furious face and the derision and anger she saw in his eyes.

“Forget this,” Brian muttered. “Have a great night.”

He left, and Sienna flinched when she heard the front door slam. AJ slid out of bed and yanked on clothes. Then he looked over at Sienna.

“Si, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that this happened. If I had known Brian was going to be so angry about it, I wouldn’t have…” he trailed off, looking helpless.

Sienna got out of bed and dragged on a robe and shook her head.

“Not your fault, AJ. Besides, I can’t even quite remember what happened. We were repotting spider plants one minute, then the next we were kissing. After that, I remember something about the stairs, the shower, and then…I woke up here,” she felt so confused. She’d never done anything like this before. Hadn’t even known it was in her. Tears stung her eyes, and she was helpless to stop them from flowing down her cheeks.

AJ always felt helpless around weeping women, but he put his arms around Sienna and led her to an armchair. He helped her sit down after removing a stuffed penguin that seemed out of place in her warm-toned house. After listening to her weep for a few minutes, he knelt in front of her.

“Sienna, listen to me. What happened between us was a one-time deal. If you don’t want it to happen again, it won’t. Believe me, no matter what you’ve heard about me, I’ve never done anything like this before, either.”

Sienna sniffed and shook her head again. “AJ, I like you, but I like you as a friend. Really. You’re a great guy, and maybe there’s chemistry between us, but I’d rather have you as a friend. I’m so scared,” she ended in a whisper.

AJ laid a hand on hers. “Why, sweetie? We’ll just explain it to Rok. He’ll understand, you’ll see.”

“Did you see his face, AJ? He was so angry and disgusted with me. You’ve got a decade old bond with him, and he’ll stick by it. But, we’ve only known each other a few months. I’m afraid I’ve lost him,” Sienna managed between fresh sobs.

AJ squeezed her hand. “Let’s not jump to conclusions. I’ll go see him in the morning. Give him the night to cool off a little. We’ll see then. I promise everything will be fine, okay?”

Sienna nodded but doubt bloomed in her heart, and she couldn’t help but think that she’d lost an amazing friend.

Brian spent the night wishing them both to hell and alternately wishing that he had just gone home instead of stopping by Sienna’s. He had ended up talking to Liv for three hours, until she had nudged him out the door, reminding him that he should probably get home and see if AJ was there yet. On the way home, he had thought that, perhaps, Sienna had stopped by his house to meet AJ, so he decided to stop by her place to find out.

What had they been thinking?! Brian ran through all the reasons AJ and Sienna could have had for jumping into bed together. Then, he wondered if there was something wrong with him that made the intimate act of sex something more than just casual for him. Maybe he shouldn’t have freaked out so much over the two of them being together. After all, it wasn’t as though he was dating Sienna, and she had cheated on him. But it still hurt because she had admitted that she was attracted to him. Then again, Brian reminded himself, he found plenty of women attractive and never minded that they were with others.

He buried his head in his hands when he realized that nothing he was thinking made any sense at all, and maybe sleep was the best thing for him to do at the moment. He stripped, crawled into bed, and made space for Missy when she meowed and curled up against him. Petting her, he thought of how best to face Sienna and AJ and fell asleep.

The hallway stretched out before him and, when he looked back, behind him for as far as he could see. There were doors on either side of him, and Brian hesitated to open any of them. So, he began to walk down the corridor, glancing at each door as he passed it. Some doors had nothing written on them, but others had names, places, and dates. July 20, February 20, September 11, May 18, November 21, Lou, Donna, Boston, Johnny, Arizona, Jackie, Harold, Jerald, New York, Nick, and Leighanne were etched on some doors. Other doors were nameless, but Brian could hear screams and shouting, not unlike those he had heard at Backstreet Boys concerts, echoing from behind the doors. Flashes of light peeped out from under other doors.

At last, at last, he reached the end of the hallway and found himself facing a door that simply read Future. He frowned and examined it closely, wondering whether or not he should open it.

“Choose wisely,” a voice boomed around him.

Brian whirled around, but there was no one in sight.

“Choose wisely,” the voice repeated. “If you choose the door to your future, you may not be satisfied. Likewise, any of these doors that you choose may not satisfy, or they may satisfy you beyond your wildest dreams. Choose wisely for it is only you who can choose your destiny.”

As the voice faded, Brian looked up at the door to the future then down at the rest of the hallway. He meandered his way down again and noticed a door he had overlooked.

“Forgiveness, huh?” Brian said aloud to himself. “I need plenty of that at this point in my life.” He looked at the other doors again then back at the door to Forgiveness. “Oh, what the heck, let’s do it.”

He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it. A brilliant white light engulfed him, and Brian stepped into it.

The doorbell was ringing incessantly, and Brian tried to tune it out. He desperately wanted to know what was behind the door marked “Forgiveness”. When he realized he could no longer hang onto the remnants of his dream, he got out of bed and looked at the clock. It read 11:30, and Brian stared at it. Had he really been asleep for twelve hours?

“Man, I must have really needed my beauty sleep,” he murmured to himself.

Then, hearing the doorbell ring again, he yanked on a pair of pants and ran his fingers through disheveled blond hair.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he called, making his way down the stairs.

AJ stood on the porch and, when Brian opened the door, pushed his sunglasses off and grinned.

“Hey, Brian. Sorry if I woke you, man,” he began, trying to sound contrite.

Brian stared. “What do you want, AJ?”

“Oh, hell, Rok. We gotta talk,” AJ answered. “Seriously, I need to explain everything. Please.”

Brian was silent for a few moments, then he nodded and held the door open. AJ followed him back towards a cozy kitchen area where Brian began to brew coffee.

“Want some?” he asked AJ.

“Sure. Thanks,” AJ replied.

They sat in silence while the coffeemaker began to whistle and brewed coffee dripped out. Finally, Brian looked over at AJ.

“Well, what did you want to explain, Alex?” he asked.

AJ hesitated then said, “Look, what happened between Sienna and me was a fluke. It wasn’t supposed to happen, and it won’t happen again. I kissed her first and then, well, I guess we both went a little crazy…” he trailed off.

Brian blinked. “A little crazy?! Is that what you call having sex within hours of knowing each other? But then, I guess that’s how you operate, Bone.”

AJ cringed. “I deserved that, I suppose. But, Bri, no matter what anyone might think, that was the first time I did anything like that. I didn’t know it would make you so angry, and Si’s out of her mind with worry. She thinks you’ll never want to see her again. Dude, she cares about you. A lot.”

Brian shrugged. “I’ll worry about her later. Besides, this obviously wasn’t the first time you’ve done something like this. You slept with someone behind Sarah’s back, too. Or did you already forget why your fiancée left you?”

“Fine. Yeah, I did, and it’s not something I’m proud of. I loved Sarah, and I still don’t know why I did something so stupid. Don’t throw back my previous mistakes at me, Brian. I can’t handle it, not from you. Look, obviously, you’re not going to forgive me, so I’d better get going. Find a place to stay.” AJ stood up. “It was good seeing you again, despite the circumstances. Maybe, one day, you’ll be able to face me without thinking of me as slime.” AJ turned and walked out towards the front door.

Brian sat for a moment, and then he jumped up and ran for the door.

“AJ! Wait,” he said when AJ turned back to look at him. “I’m sorry, please. I forgive you, really. I don’t know why it made me so angry. And I think you caught me at a cranky time. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Really.”

AJ nodded then walked back up to where Brian stood and enveloped him in a hug.

“God, I’ve missed you,” Brian murmured, swallowing the tears that rose in his throat.

AJ stepped back and smiled. “I’ve missed you, too, Brian. And I really am sorry about what happened.”

Brian slung an arm over AJ’s shoulder. “Why don’t you tell me exactly how you came to be in Sienna’s house, and then I’ll let it go completely. Besides, we’ve got a lot of catch up to do.”

AJ grinned. “Oh yeah. Especially the part where you tell me why you have an amazing woman and haven’t snatched her up or charmed her yet?”

“All in good time, pal. All in good time.”


***
Late that night, after AJ had fallen asleep, Brian sat on his porch with a glass of wine and toasted the moon. He’d gotten all of his brothers back, and life seemed smooth for the near future. Except for one glitch. Sienna. He wondered if he would have to see her first, or if she was going to come see him.

AJ had said that she was terrified of him and what he thought of her. Sienna had told AJ that she thought she disgusted Brian. Brian shook his head and thought of how far she was from the truth. He supposed he would be the one who would go to her. Prove that he still cared about her and that whatever she thought he felt had been momentary.

He could never be disgusted by her. Perhaps, he thought, he was halfway in love with her already. It was a heady feeling, but he didn’t see how she would even feel the same way towards him if she wouldn’t even date him.

Brian pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and tried to think of how, now that he had made amends, he could bring the Backstreet Boys together. After a few minutes, he noticed someone walking up his driveway towards the porch. Panic spread quickly until he realized who it was.

Sienna tried to slow the nervous pounding of her heart as she faced Brian. She held out the single daisy she held in her hand.

“Here,” she managed to push the sound out. “It’s for you. A kind of apology offering.” She paused, then found the courage to look up into azure eyes shaded by the darkness. “Brian, I don’t know what I could possibly say that would make you forgive me. I never meant to sleep with AJ, and he didn’t plan on it either. It just happened. I can’t go back and make it different, but I can promise you that it won’t happen again. I like AJ, but more of as a friend. We talked for a while yesterday before we, well, you know. He’s incredible, resilient, and is constantly learning from past mistakes. I guess it’s time for me to try that, too. So, I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do to convince you that I’m really and truly sorry, please tell me,” she finished.

Brian was silent for a moment while he twirled the flower she had given him. When he handed it back to her, Sienna thought her heart might break from the rejection. Suddenly, she found herself engulfed in a hug and blinked to make sure it was real. Brian’s arms were around her, and she hugged him back, relieved.

“Baby,” he murmured as he pulled back enough to see her face. “You don’t have to apologize. I was irrationally angry. I think it was the shock of seeing the two of you together, especially since I hadn’t seen AJ in over a year. I don’t hate you. I never could,” he added, stroking a finger down her cheek.

Sienna blew out a shaky breath. “Thank God. I thought I was going to lose you.”

“Lose me?” Brian raised a brow. “Over something like that? Never.”

***

Sienna left Brian and AJ alone over the next few days, which they spent sorting out the past three years and where things had gone wrong. They both agreed that the break had been inevitable, since everyone had been suppressing their feelings for too long. Exhaustion and frustration with the others had caused them all to argue, and none of them were to blame. AJ told Brian that he had been happy to take the break, that it had been too difficult to recover, rehabilitate when the world’s attention and pressure had been focused on him. However, he knew that he couldn’t blame anyone but himself for the relapse.

“It’s a good thing Sarah got out when she could,” AJ said, while they were having lunch at a café in town. “I dragged her through enough of my shit, and, honestly, I’m surprised she put up with me for as long as she did.”

“I don’t think you should beat yourself up over it anymore,” Brian replied. “The two of you are moving on with better lives, now. Focus on the present, you know. What’s past is…what was that Shakespeare line again?”

“ ‘What’s past is prologue,’” AJ supplied.

“Right. It’s what comes next that we should worry about. Like, do we want the Backstreet Boys back, or do we want to wait?” Brian wondered, finally voicing his thoughts to one of the other Boys.

AJ frowned. “Do you think we’ve given each other enough time yet? I mean Kev’s doing Broadway, and Howie’s bought a nice chunk of Florida—if not more. I think everyone likes their lives as they are now. Maybe we should give it time.”

Brian sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Mom and I are thinking of a Hearts’ Club Fundraiser, and she wants me to help out with the next St. Joseph’s fundraiser she’s planning. Besides, I haven’t given the Hearts’ Club the attention it deserves. Now, I’m going in at least three times a week to play with the kids, exercise, and see the others who are waiting for surgery. Plus, taking care of paperwork makes me happy. It makes me feel like I’m helping out.”

“Especially since you know what it’s like to go through everything. How did you manage to squash your fear of hospitals enough to start working in one, anyway?” AJ wondered.

Brian shrugged. “My fear wasn’t helping anyone else get any better. So, I push it to the back of my mind and keep going.”

AJ nodded. “Good strategy.”

His cell phone rang, and AJ answered it.

“Hey D. We’re just having lunch. Everything’s great! So, how’s it going on the West Coast? Really? He did? For when? That’s in what? Two weeks? Hmm…yeah, I’ll ask Brian. You should be here, D. It would be nice. All right, go on. Go buy all of California, too. Take care, man. Talk to you soon!” AJ hung up and turned to Brian. “We’re going to go see Chicago on Broadway in two weeks. Kevin sent Howie ten tickets to a Saturday night show. He wants us to see it. However, Nick won’t be able to make it because he’s doing something in Milan. So, that leaves you, Howie, and me with ten tickets to use. What do you say? Let’s go see big brother sing and dance on Broadway.”

Brian smiled. “I can work that out. It sounds great! I was wondering when I’d be able to go up there and see it.”

“Howie says that show is Kevin’s last show,” AJ told him.

Brian frowned. “Wow, done so soon? What the hell. Let’s go give him a send off he won’t forget!”

***

Brian found himself easily convincing Liv to come with him but knew it would be much more difficult persuading her best friend to come along. Especially since they would be arriving in New York on Thursday afternoon. He planned on spending two days around the city and finishing it with the show on Saturday night. Unfortunately, Sienna refused to hear anything of it.

“Nope. No way am I leaving my shop for three days. Brian, are you crazy?!” Sienna exclaimed.

“No, but I really think you should come with me. You can meet Howie and see Kevin and AJ again. Besides, Liv’s already agreed to come with me,” Brian explained.

“Wait, you already asked Livvy?” Sienna raised a brow. “Before me?”

Brian grinned sheepishly. “I knew you’d never come unless I gave you a reason to go. Your best friend is going. Do you really want to leave her in the Big Apple with the likes of the other guys and me? She’d be the only woman there, unless Kristin decides to join us. Come on, Sienna. You know you want to see the show. It would mean a lot to Kevin, too,” he added.

Sienna was silent for several moments. “Would we have separate rooms in the hotel? Because I do not want to share a bathroom with you.”

Brian shook his head. “I managed to get us a suite. That way, I’ll have one room and bathroom, and you and Liv can share the other room and bathroom. We’ll also have a nice living area and balcony, too. Doesn’t it sound exciting?”

Sienna rolled her eyes. Then she threw up her hands. “All right, okay! You win! I’ll go. But only to see the other guys and keep Livvy company,” she added.

“I know,” Brian said with a knowing smile.

Howie Dorough waited and watched the arrival gates for Southwest Airlines. Brian and the two guests he was bringing with him would be walking out of those gates any moment now, and, because Howie had arrived in New York the day before to complete other business he had, he had decided to pick them up. Glancing at his watch and the monitors above that indicated Southwest flight 1063 had arrived on time, Howie wondered what could possibly be taking them nearly forty-five minutes to get out of the airport.

Then, he spotted Brian and the two women he was walking with and waved them over. As they drew closer, Howie’s breath caught at the beauty of the jet-haired woman, who was laughing at something Brian had just said. He knew the woman on Brian’s right side was Sienna, as Nick had described Brian’s new friend to him in detail. Nick was definitely infatuated with her, but it was more awe, Howie knew. So, the beauty on the other side of his friend had to be Olivia Taylor, Sienna’s best friend Brian had told him was coming.

“Hey, D,” Brian greeted him.

Howie blinked then smiled at Brian. “Hey, Rok. Glad you all got here in one piece. How was the flight?”

“Long,” Sienna answered. Then, she held out a hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Howie. Brian has run my ears off about you and the others. I bet you’re nicer than he is, though.”

Howie grinned. “I bet I am. I like this one, Brian. Can we keep her?”

“Uh-uh. She’s all mine. Go find your own friend. By the way, this is Liv, Sienna’s friend. I convinced her to come join the crazy circus with us this weekend,” Brian smiled at Liv, who swatted him then held out a hand to Howie.

“Nice to meet you, Howie,” she said in the Kentucky drawl Howie had become used to in Kevin and Brian. Although, he found hers downright sexy.

Howie shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” Then, he turned to the other two. “Shall we?”

“Absolutely,” Sienna and Brian said at the same time. Then, “Jinx!”

The ride to the hotel was spent with the two of them arguing about who said “jinx” first, and who owed who a soda. Howie rolled his eyes and met Liv’s eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Are they always like this?” he asked her.

She grinned. “Usually. I don’t know how they’re friends with all the bickering they do. It’s like they’re a married couple or something. Or a couple of kids.” She shook her head at the pair. “So, tell me, Howie, what is it you do when you’re not being a Backstreet Boy?”

“Well, I guess we’ll start with the producing…” Howie began.

***

“Oh my God, Si,” Liv sighed dramatically and stretched out across one of the luxurious beds in their part of the suite Brian had rented in the Plaza Hotel.

“Yes?” Sienna glanced over at her friend as she meticulously folded and stowed away her clothes.

Liv sat up. “Howie Dorough has to be one of the sweetest guys I have had the opportunity to meet. And, as you know, I have met very few.”

Sienna sat on the bed next to her. “What makes you say that? You’ve known the guy for all of about an hour.”

“Well, I think it’s his eyes. He listens and sees you, not other parts of your anatomy, if you get my drift,” Liv explained.

Sienna nodded. “Yeah, but you talked to him for, what, twenty-five minutes? Wait until at least after dinner to turn him into the man of your dreams.”

“Please,” Liv rolled her eyes. “You said the same thing to me after you talked to Brian for an hour. And look at the two of you. I don’t know how the two of you have managed to keep your hands off one another. He looks at you like he’d love to eat you in one, neat bite, and you keep pretending you don’t notice how attracted you are.”

Sienna threw a pillow at her. “You’re making that up!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

Liv dodged the next pillow and slid off the bed. “Fine. We’ll have dinner with Howie, AJ, and Kevin. Then, I’ll get Howie by himself, and we’ll see what’s what.”

Sienna clapped her hands. “There. I knew the independent, damn-the-rules Livvy was in there somewhere. Go for it, tiger!”

***

Kristin joined them for dinner at Tavern-on-the-Green, which made for a party of twelve. AJ had brought his mother, his friend Rene, and his cousin Brianna. Pollyanna and John Dorough, Howie’s older brother and sister, had come with him, and then there were Brian, Sienna, and Liv. The maitre d’ was astonished to see four of the Backstreet Boys arrive in his restaurant but said nothing.

As they sat down to eat, Howie ended up maneuvering himself into a place between John and Liv. Pollyanna ended up being on Liv’s other side, which left Liv feeling a bit trapped in the Dorough family. Then, Pollyanna began talking to her, and, when the topic turned to what Liv did for a living, she managed to relax a little. Pollyanna was amazed at the culinary talent Liv possessed, and she promised to come by the restaurant in Lexington next time she went to visit Brian’s parents.

Sienna watched the interaction between her friend and the Doroughs and smiled. Brian leaned over.

“Whatcha smiling about?” he murmured in her ear.

Ignoring the shiver that ran down her spine from his breath on her, Sienna quietly gestured at those sitting across the table. “Liv’s out to get Howie. She’s developed a thing for him. And, if I’m not wrong, Howie’s out to get her, too. Or, should I say, charm her.”

Brian watched Howie and Liv, then he smiled, too. “Shall we play matchmaker, darling?”

Sienna grinned, mischievously. “You read my mind.”

By the time appetizers had arrived, AJ, Kevin, and Kristin knew what was going on, and, along with Sienna and Brian, began to stir the pot. As dinner wore on, Liv blushed more often, while Howie’s grin turned from triumphant to a little bashful. During dessert, he turned to Liv.

“I think it’s a little stuffy in here, don’t you? Would you like to go for a walk? Central Park’s not far from here,” he added.

Liv looked up at him and smiled. “Absolutely. Excuse us, everyone,” she said to the rest of the table, who nodded.

When the couple had made it out of the restaurant, the rest of the table burst into laughter.

“Did you see them?” Pollyanna chuckled. “I swear, Howie was trying to keep his hands off her the entire time. And, if I’m not mistaken, she was doing the same.”

“Oh no, you’re not mistaken,” Sienna told her. “She’s been going on all afternoon about Howie after only talking to him for half an hour. I’ve never seen her like this.”

“Well, I think it’s a nice change,” Kevin said. “Howie’s never had much time or inclination towards dating, until now. I’ve never seen him like this in the last eleven or so years. So, good for him.”

Kristin covered his hand with hers. “Well, while we’re all in a good mood, I’d like to make an announcement.” She smiled at the confused look on her husband’s face. “In about seven months or so, Kevin and I will be making AJ, Brian, Nick, and Howie uncles.”

Brian caught on first. “You’re pregnant! Kris, Kevin, this is amazing! It’s fantastic! Congratulations!”

Kevin was still watching his wife. “When did you find out?” he asked her quietly.

“This morning. Remember how I hadn’t been feeling well? The doctor figured it out. Kevin, we’re going to be parents!” she squeezed his hand.

Kevin grinned back at her. “I can’t believe this! Us, parents!” and he kissed her as the others toasted them. “So, no more alcohol or caffeine of any type, right?”

“Keep the cats away, too,” Denise McLean reminded them. “I’m so proud of the two of you! Now, if only Alex were to find a nice, young woman and settle down…”

“Mom!” AJ groaned, while everyone else laughed.

“Well, I’m just saying…”

***

Sienna laughed as Brian unlocked the door to their suite. She plopped down on one of the couches set in the living area and grinned up at him.

“So, Uncle Brian, tell me. How does it feel to know you’re going to be an uncle?” she asked.

Brian sat down across from her. “Pretty good. God, I can’t believe it! The first Backstreet Baby! I hope it’s a girl,” he added.

Sienna cocked her head. “Why? I thought you’d want a boy. You know, the sixth Backstreet Boy and all.”

Brian shook his head. “Nope. Girls are more fun to spoil, and you can buy all those cute little baby things for them. The headbands, hats, cute shoes, and all.”

“You surprise me again, Mr. Littrell. Who knew you would want a little girl to give her all those accessories?” Sienna stood and walked to the bar to pour herself water.

Brian watched her as he’d watched her all evening. She wore a simple, sleeveless black dress that fell to her knees. The scooped neckline showed off a ruby necklace she’d told him had belonged to her mother. Her hair was up in a bun, which left her tantalizingly smooth neck bare. Brian had never wanted her more. He knew it was treacherous ground he tread, especially if he wanted to keep her friendship over everything else.

He stood. “Well, I think I’m about beat. I think I’m going to go to bed, now.”

Sienna stared at him. “Are you kidding me? It’s only nine-thirty! The night is still young. There’s still a lot we could do.”

“I’ve been up since six this morning,” Brian began.

“Yeah, and I’ve been up since four. You don’t see me turning in,” Sienna pointed out. “Okay, why don’t we go see a movie or something. Get ice cream? Walk around Times Square?”

“Attract fans and celebrity seekers?” Brian suggested. “No thanks.”

Sienna pouted. “Fine. Why don’t we watch one of those PaperView movies? That way, we can order up room service and not leave the room at all? Does that work for you, Mr. I’m Tired and Don’t Want to See Fans?”

Brian shrugged, then relented.

They ended up watching “A Walk to Remember,” during which Sienna fell asleep with her head resting on Brian’s shoulder. He reached over and flicked off the television. Then, he lifted her up, carried her to her bed, and tucked her in. In sleep, Brian thought she looked amazing. True, her lively eyes were hidden, but peace turned her face into something out of Sleeping Beauty. If only he could wake her with a kiss, he thought. Then, rolling his eyes at his own corny self, he quietly shut the door of the room behind him, just as Liv came waltzing in the other door.

“Hey!” she called out to him.

Brian held a finger to his lips. “Sienna’s sleeping.” He sat down on the couch again, and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, letting himself breathe a little easier. Then, he grinned over at Liv. “So, how was your night?”

Liv sat down next to him and grinned back. “Really good. In fact, I’d have to rate it a nine point nine nine. Repeating.”

“Wow. Uh, go Howie?” Brian wondered.

Liv laughed. “Absolutely. You have an amazing friend. He’s everything I thought I never wanted in a guy.”

“Really?” Brian raised a brow. “How so?”

“Well, he’s sweet, laughs at himself, humble despite the celebrity factor, funny, and actually watches chick flicks without being forced into it,” Liv explained. “And the whole kiss good night deal? He kissed my hand. How fucking romantic is that?!”

Brian grinned. “Well, I can’t say that I’ve done that one. But, yeah, that sounds like Howie D to me. You know you’re the first woman Howie’s shown any interest in forever. So, congratulations.”

“Why, thank you! And, now, I think I’m going to get to bed. Howie and I are going shopping tomorrow—which is another thing I like about him. He likes to shop,” Liv said, excitedly.

“Yeah, that’s Howie. He loves to shop and is good at it, too. AJ and Howie would go shopping all the time and bring back stuff they thought would look good on the rest of us. Surprisingly, and embarrassingly, they were usually right,” Brian admitted.

Liv smiled. “Well, good. I’m shopping with a pro! Good night, Brian.”

“’Night.”

Howie and Liv spent the majority of Friday and Saturday together—away from the others. While they waited to be seated at the theatre on Saturday night, Sienna told AJ that she hadn’t seen Liv at all during this trip, except when they were sleeping. Which, Sienna had to admit, she hadn’t seen Liv do, since she came in after two on Friday night and was gone when Sienna awoke.

AJ smiled. “Well, I guess D finally got hooked properly. Good for them. I wouldn’t complain if I were you.”

Sienna shook her head. “I’m not complaining. I think it’s great that Liv’s happy. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re not already half in love with each other.”

AJ crushed out his cigarette and hooked arms with her. “Darling Sienna, your best friend is quite possibly in love with a very good friend of mine. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you were jealous of her because you and Rok can’t get your act together.”

“What?!” Sienna sputtered. “Where the hell did you get an idea like that from? Who said Brian and I have any feelings for each other apart from friendship?”

AJ shook his head and chuckled. “Please. Apart from Howie and Liv, the two of you are quite amusing to watch. You pretend not to be attracted, while really all you want to do is jump each other.”

Sienna hmmphed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never and will never feel the need to “jump” Brian. It’s a foreign concept to me.”

“What’s a foreign concept to you?” Brian asked, coming over to where the two were standing. He carried a cup of coffee, which he handed to AJ. “Hopefully, that’ll keep you awake during the show,” he said to AJ, then turned back to Sienna. “So, what’s a foreign concept to you?”

“I, uh, well…”

“Sienna? Sienna McKinnon?” a voice from behind her interrupted.

Sienna turned to see who it was, then gasped.

“Josh? Josh Torrel? Oh, my lord, it’s been far too long!” she said to the tall, dark-haired man who grinned back at her.

“Only about four years,” he reminded her. “And you never did keep in touch. Though I guess I should share part of the blame for that, too.”

Sienna shook her head. “I never expected to see you. I mean, I know you still lived in the city, but wow. Four years,” she repeated wonderingly.

Josh smiled. “Yeah, but in four years, Si, you’re still the same. Still can’t go anywhere without guys following you, huh?” he nodded at Brian and AJ, who were quietly observing the conversation.

Sienna grinned. “Sorry, where are my manners? Daniel Torrel, AJ McLean. AJ, Josh. Oh, and Brian Littrell, Josh Torrel.” The men shook hands and murmured greetings.

“So,” Sienna turned back to Josh, hooking an arm through his. “Tell me, how’ve you been?” They began walking around the other milling theatre-goers and away from Brian and AJ.

“Not too bad, though there have been moments,” Josh told her. “Although, you have certainly come up in the world. Hobnobbing with celebrities and all. The Backstreet Boys, huh?”

Sienna grinned. “We’re friends. I met Brian last year, and the others I met in the last few months. We’re here to see Kevin Richardson’s last show.”

“He’s playing Billy Flynn, right? I hear he’s supposed to be really good,” Josh said.

“I bet he is, too. I’ve met him. He’s a great guy and talented, too. All of them are.”

“Great. I also hear you’re running a florist shop?” Josh asked her.

“Yup,” Sienna answered proudly. “It’s been rated one of the best in South Lexington, Kentucky. I love owning my own business. It’s more freedom and gives me more room to be creative."

“And you’ve got creativity in spades, if I remember correctly,” Josh said. “How’s Liv? She lives in Lexington, too, right?”

“Yes, she does. Actually, she’s around here somewhere. Then again, she may be with Howie Dorough, another of the Boys, who’s also here. It wouldn’t surprise me if they start dating, like, now,” Sienna said, amused.

“Wow, like I said, you’ve certainly come up in the world. So, Liv’s dating a celeb, how about you? Anyone special?” Josh wondered.

“Nah, not really. I don’t really have time, either,” she answered. “The shop takes up a majority of my time. In fact, Brian had to persuade me to come here this weekend and used Livvy to help, too.”

Josh smiled. “I see the tenacious Sienna still exists. I’m glad you’re doing well. Really.”

Sienna tried not to think of how, in the past, she and Josh had had their share of arguments and had split after two years of dating, during their time at Columbia.

She shook off the past and looked up at him. “So, how’s Jenny? Last I heard, the two of you got married. How’s that going? Is she here?”

Josh’s smile faded quickly. “Yeah, we were married a couple months after graduation. You were invited but didn’t come.”

“Right, I remember. I was in the middle of negotiations for my shop,” Sienna explained.

Josh nodded. “Anyway, we were married, and she began working for a company that used to be on the 73rd floor of the World Trade Center. She was seven months pregnant, and September 11 was supposed to be her last day at work before maternity leave.”

Sienna squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry, Josh. I know how much you loved her. She was a great person. And, I’m sorry about the baby, too.”

Josh shook his head and managed a smile. “It’s in the past, but sometimes it hits you hard, you know?”

Sienna agreed. She knew perfectly. Just then, there was a commotion around the doors leading into the auditorium, and people began to move through to find their seats.

“We’d better get going,” Sienna told him.

“Yeah, I’ve got to go up towards the Mezzanine,” Josh told her, as she began moving towards the doors to the front rows. He stopped her. “Sienna, would you like to have dessert or coffee afterwards, with me?”

Sienna smiled. “Of course, I would. Should we meet here, then?”

Josh nodded, then bid her goodbye.

“Enjoy the show,” she called back to him and watched a smile flash across his face.

Sienna made her way into the theatre and found her arm caught, suddenly. When she turned to see who held onto her, she wasn’t surprised to see Brian.

“I was just waiting for you to come in. So we could get to our seats, you know,” he explained when he saw her questioning look. “By the way, who is Josh, anyway? AJ and I were wondering,” he added quickly.

“An old friend from college. He lost his wife in the World Trade Center,” she told him. “That makes me sad because she was a great woman. So full of life and generous with everyone.”

Brian shook his head. “That’s terrible. He still lives here?”

“Yeah,” Sienna murmured, as she thought of how her two ex-boyfriends happened to live in the same city. Strange how life worked out sometimes, she thought.

When she spotted AJ waving them over to where he sat with Rene, Brianna, and his mother, she tugged Brian after her. When she reached AJ and the empty seats on his other side, she smiled.

“Hey, are these taken?”

“Nope. Wanna sit?” he invited.

Sienna seated herself, and then, when she spotted Howie and Liv, she looked up at Brian, who had been about to sit next to her.

“Hey, Bri? Is it okay if Livvy sits next to me?” she asked him.

Brian looked over as Liv and Howie made their way down the row of seats then shrugged. “Sure.”

He ended up sitting as far away from Sienna as could be managed because between them sat Liv, Howie, John, and Pollyanna.

Pollyanna patted his hand as the show began. “Kevin’s going to be amazing. I can’t wait,” she whispered. Brian simply nodded and forced a smile.

As much as he tried to concentrate on the show and Kevin’s parts, he found himself wishing increasingly that he had stayed seated next to Sienna. Which would have made him a bad guy, he reminded himself. Just before intermission, he casually leaned over to see how Sienna was doing and found that her head was leaning against AJ’s shoulder as she watched the drama unfold on stage intently. AJ was also watching the show but was playing with the fingers of her right hand. Jealously, he wished he were the one she leaned against. Then, realizing how ridiculous he sounded in his head, he pushed all thoughts out of his head. The rest of the show he spent thinking of nothing but Chicago and the skill with which Kevin played Billy Flynn.

Unfortunately, after the show when Sienna disappeared, jealousy reared its ugly head again. When he asked Liv where Sienna had gone, she told him that she was going out for coffee with her old, college boyfriend, Josh. So, Brian spent the ride back to the hotel alone and steaming.

Inside his room, he had to restrain himself from throwing a tantrum. It wasn’t as though she had promised him anything, Brian kept reminding himself. They were adults, who were not dating, so of course they were free to see other people. Besides, she wasn’t out on a date. She was simply catching up with an old friend. Brian repeated the facts over and over in his head as he packed his things for their departure from New York the following morning.

He heard Liv come back around midnight and called out “Good night” to her. Then he started wondering how long it would take two people to drink coffee, anyway. Certainly not four hours, he thought when the clock ticked one o’clock.

He had just stepped into the living room to pour himself a glass of water when he heard Sienna’s voice in the hall. Without thinking about how it was eavesdropping, he rushed to the door and peeked out through the peephole. Sienna and Joshua stood talking, but the door muffled the sound of their words. Then, as Brian watched, Joshua leaned in, cupped Sienna’s face in his hands, and kissed her. Brian realized he couldn’t watch anymore and, picking up his glass of water, he made it back into his room and shut the door just as Sienna opened the door to the suite.

He waited half an hour, until he saw the lights go out under the other door before he picked up his cell phone and dialed the number of the only person he thought he could talk to.

***

Liv woke out of a dead sleep when her phone vibrated next to her head. Wondering who would be calling her at nearly two in the morning, she answered. After murmuring quietly, she promised to meet in the living room. Then, making sure Sienna was still asleep, she slipped out the door. Sienna waited several moments before creeping to the door and listened to the conversation between a rather disheveled-looking Brian and Liv.

“I don’t know how much more I can handle,” Brian told Liv. “I try so hard not to be needy, just to be a good friend. But, Livvy, I need her more and more everyday. She’s never going to feel the same way, though.”

Liv reached out a hand and squeezed his reassuringly. “Bri, why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”

Brian snorted. “Are you kidding? She’d laugh at me and say that we had agreed not to date because we liked being friends more. She doesn’t even know what she’s doing, either.” He ran his hands through his hair and wearily over his face. “I never felt this way about Leighanne, you know? This is the first time I’ve felt so desperate. It’s killing me, and I don’t know whether to beg her or to cut myself away from it all.”

“What do you really want, Brian? Besides, Sienna. Do you want to just separate yourself from her or just get it off your chest by telling her how you really feel?” Liv asked him. When he didn’t answer, she sighed. “Maybe you should think about it. And try to get some sleep, otherwise, you’re going to be exhausted tomorrow.”

“I know,” Brian whispered wearily. “I think I know what I’m going to do, Livvy. What’s less painful for me to do, in any case.”

Sienna decided she couldn’t listen any longer and crawled back into bed. She made Brian that distraught? How could it be that he needed her more than she wanted him? She’d never had anyone want her so badly—more than she had wanted them. She desperately wanted to ease his misery by just agreeing to be more than friends. Unfortunately, she knew it wouldn’t be fair to him. Sighing, she snuggled deeper under the covers and tried to sleep.

***

The following morning, Sienna packed everything and walked into the living room and looked around. Liv was on the phone and drinking a cup of tea, while Brian stood on the balcony, eating his way through a bagel. She grabbed a pastry off the room service tray and stepped onto the balcony.

“Good morning,” she greeted Brian.

“’Morning,” Brian said, barely looking at her.

Sienna tried again. “I love this city in the morning when it’s just waking up, don’t you? If I could live anywhere besides Lexington, I’d come back here.”

Brian nodded. “It’s a good city. Lots of history.” He glanced down at his watch. “Sorry, I have to make a phone call. Be ready in twenty minutes,” he called over his shoulder.

Sienna nodded then wondered what decision he had made hours before. She walked back in and poured herself coffee and sat with Liv.

The whole drive to the airport, Brian was on the phone, and Sienna watched the scenery go by, wondering when she could talk to him about how he was feeling.

When they boarded the plane, Brian’s seat was two rows ahead of Liv and Sienna’s seats, and, during the flight, Sienna finally asked Liv if it was her imagination or was Brian distant?

Liv shrugged. “I think he’s tired and thinking about the Healthy Hearts Club fundraiser he has to plan. It’s coming up soon. At the end of August, I think.”

Sienna felt like kicking herself. She knew that. Brian had told her a month ago, but had she been listening, really? Not as much as she should have, Sienna thought. Well, she would just see if she could be a better friend and try not to do anything that might further hurt him. It was a good thing, Sienna thought as she settled back to take a nap, that Josh had only kissed her as a goodbye kiss. They had agreed that they probably wouldn’t really keep in touch, and there was no point in fooling themselves. The past would simply stay in the past, Sienna thought, then fell asleep.

The friendship Sienna had thought to strengthen seemed to fall apart the second the airplane landed in Lexington. Brian disappeared after dropping her off at home. The daily visits she had come to expect from him stopped completely. When she called him, he would always tell her that he was busy and would call her back. He never did call back.

At the end of two weeks, Sienna figured out that he had chosen to cut himself out of her life to prevent further pain. As one last attempt to gain his friendship back, she went to his home and discovered he wasn’t there. She spent an hour sitting on his porch weeping. Afterwards, she resolved to not feeling sorry for herself and agreeing that it had been best for their friendship to end, especially if it had been causing him such pain. Later, she found out that the fundraiser he was planning was to be held in Atlanta.

“And,” AJ explained, “Leighanne’s co-chairing the planning committee. Brian asked her for help last week. I think he ran into her before the show in New York and asked her the next day. She agreed, and they’re holding it in Atlanta. More press, according to Brian,” AJ added.

Sienna tried not to let her disappointment come through in her voice. “Oh, well, I’m glad they feel comfortable enough to plan the event together. I’m sure it’ll be a success.”

“Sienna? Is everything okay?” AJ asked, concerned.

“Yeah, of course! Really, AJ, I’m glad that he isn’t pining after her like he did last summer, when I met him,” she answered, trying not to sound to fake cheery.

“Right. Well, babe, I gotta get going. I’m planning my own fundraiser for a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center for teenagers in West Palm Beach,” he told her.

“Wow, AJ! That’s fantastic! Tell me when and where it is, and I’ll be there,” she promised.

AJ told her he would then hung up.

***

July twentieth and Sienna’s birthday rolled around. She didn’t expect much at this stage in her life. She and Liv were going to go for dinner and celebrate. Howie had shown up in Lexington the previous night and would be joining them, too. Despite everything else, Sienna was truly thrilled that Howie made Liv happy and planned to celebrate that, too.

Thinking of dinner that night, Sienna wrapped up a bouquet and handed it to a customer, then cleared off the stems she had cut off. When the bell on the door jingled, she glanced up.

“Hey, Sienna! Happy Birthday! Got a package for you,” Tom, the FedEx delivery man who always delivered to her store, greeted her.

Sienna signed for the package, which was a slim, square-shaped box. She wondered who it was from and tried not to think of Brian. Besides, had she ever told him her birthday?

“Thanks, Tom,” she said and handed him a sunflower as she always did whenever he made a delivery. He grinned then left.

Glancing around the shop to see if anyone needed any help, Sienna quickly undid the brown paper wrapping to reveal a present wrapped in gold and green wrapping paper and a card. She opened the card first, and, despite everything, felt disappointed.

Dear Sienna,

I remembered your birthday was coming soon, and I saw this as I was walking to work a few days ago. It reminded me of you, and I hope you like it. I know we agreed not to keep in touch, so think of this as a final parting present. Besides, I missed that last birthday of yours when we were together, remember? Think of this as a make-up present for that time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Always,
Joshua

Sienna smiled a little at the thought and carefully slit open the wrapping to reveal a dark blue box. She gasped when she opened it. A lovely gold chain holding a heart-shaped pendant with a diamond in the middle was nestled into the box. She closed the lid and placed the box into a drawer in her desk. The necklace was certainly unexpected, but the sentiment with which it was given was certainly one of the most thoughtful she had ever received.

The rest of the day, she spent with a smile on her face, and, when she got home after a fantastic birthday dinner with Liv and Howie, she noticed another package sitting on her doorstep. It looked as though it held clothing in it, and Sienna lifted it and carried it into the house.

After kicking off her shoes, she carefully slit the package open and plucked out a pair of earrings, delighted. She had wanted to buy them in May but hadn’t wanted to wreck her bank account by buying the white-gold swirls, studded with diamonds and sapphires. The next piece in the box was a portrait she didn’t remember having taken. It was of her and Brian sitting on his porch swing, grinning at each other as though they shared a private joke. It made her eyes sting to look at it and remember, so she admired the frame instead. Finally, she uncovered a videotape sitting at the bottom of the box.

Hopping up, she stuck it into her VCR and pressed play. There was static at first, then Brian appeared on screen. He sat in the grass in front of the garden they had planted together at his cottage. He smiled.

“Happy Birthday, darling. I bet you thought I’d forget, right? But, really, what kind of a friend would I be if I forgot your birthday? I hope you like the earrings. I remember you lusting after them, so I went back and bought them afterwards. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t have. I’m embarrassingly wealthy and have no one to spend it on anyway. And that picture? AJ took it when he was here and gave me a copy when we were in New York. Ah, remember those days?

“You’re probably wondering why I haven’t called or come by to see you in the last couple weeks. I decided to have the fundraiser in Atlanta because there’s more opportunity for press. Besides that, I’ve made it a whole formal event—the wealthier the person, the more they’ll give the Hearts Club. Anyway, so I won’t be back for a while. Plus, I’m thinking about moving back into my estate outside of Atlanta, too. I think enough time’s passed, and I feel good about it.

“Did I ever tell you how I want to do a gospel album? Well, I do, and I’ve talked to a couple record companies about it. Wish me luck, baby,” Brian added with a grin. “So, thanks for the last year, and maybe I’ll see you sometime. Happy Birthday, Sienna. May all your wildest hopes and dreams come true this year!”

And the tape ended, leaving Sienna staring at the screen with a profound sense of loss. Her wildest hopes and dreams? None of them made sense if he were to leave, she thought. I have to get him back—no matter what I have to do. Then, she realized the real reason she needed him back. Because that was it. She needed him just as much as he needed her. There was only one thing to do. It was time for her to go get her Prince Charming—as goofy as he could be.

Sienna called the Healthy Hearts Club for Kids office and asked for the date, time, and location of their fundraiser in Atlanta. She was told it would be held on August 21 in the ballroom at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Atlanta at seven in the evening. Knowing that it was to be a formal event, Sienna bought herself a dress—one that matched the earrings Brian had given her.

***

Because every flight she tried to book for August twenty-first or the twentieth was full, Sienna ended up driving down to Atlanta on the twentieth and checked into the DoubleTree just blocks away from the Hyatt. The day of the fundraiser, she slipped into the dress, put on the earrings, and placed a check, for ten thousand dollars made out to the Healthy Hearts Club, in her purse. Then, she headed to the Hyatt.

The anteroom of the ballroom was well-decorated with dozens of pictures of children from the hospital, Brian with the kids, and the names of various other sponsors of the organization. Sienna noticed a recent picture of Brian holding a toddler and standing with Leighanne. They looked like the perfect family, and, though she knew Leighanne had her own family, Sienna couldn’t help but be jealous of what the picture seemed to imply.

She made her way into the ballroom where the décor was red Hearts Club balloons, and red and white rose arrangements made up the centerpiece on each table. There was an area for dancing, and, next to a podium set on stage in front of a large, projection screen, a string quartet played. The other men and women milling around were dressed in expensive, fashionable clothing. She found a table towards the back that was mostly empty, save for an older couple, who she immediately struck up a lively conversation with. While she spoke about what she did and how she thought the Hearts Club was a great cause, she couldn’t help but think of when she would see Brian.

***

Brian stood backstage, tugging at the tie he wore and fussing with his tuxedo again. Leighanne noticed and made a tsk-ing noise and brushed his hands away.

“Honestly, Brian. You need to relax,” she reminded him for what seemed the hundredth time that evening. “Everything is going smoothly. The catering staff is serving appetizers and drinks, and dinner is nearly ready in the kitchens. By the time you’re done with the speech, everything will be in place. So, again, relax!”

“I know, I know. It’s just, well, I haven’t done one of these in a few years. I let Mom do them. I think I’ve lost my touch for being in front of a crowd,” he muttered.

Leighanne straightened the tie and stepped back. “There. You look great,” she reassured him, patting his cheek. “You spent ten years on stage, Brian. Just remember, you’re not doing this for yourself. You’re doing this for the many children who will benefit from the research the donations tonight will fund. Just be yourself, and everything will be fine,” she promised.

Brian nodded and glanced at his watch. “Okay then, pal,” he murmured to himself. “It’s show time!”

When he looked around for Leighanne, she had disappeared. Telling himself that everything would be fine, he stepped out onto the stage and made it to the podium.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Fourth Annual Healthy Hearts Club fundraiser and the first we’ve held in Atlanta. Thank you all for being here tonight for this very worthy cause,” he said, realizing that he was really getting back into the groove again.

He thanked some of the corporate sponsors then introduced a short film, which documented the purpose and progress the Club was making. There were interviews with some of the children from St. Joseph’s Hospital and researchers from the labs Brian directed funding towards.

During some of the more candid and heartbreaking interviews with the children, Sienna looked around and noticed some of the elderly matrons dabbing at their eyes. Good, she thought. At least we can count on them donating generously. At the end of the film, Brian turned back to his audience.

“As you can see, the Healthy Hearts Club for Kids really does benefit children who need assistance to live. Every dollar donated to the Club goes directly towards helping those children who cannot afford treatment and to the Styrius Labs, which work directly with St. Joseph’s and the Club. Again, I’d like to thank you all for being here tonight. If you’d like to donate, there are collection boxes set in each cluster of tables. I urge you all to enjoy yourselves for the rest of the night. I know for a fact that dinner is delicious, so don’t hold back.” When he heard the laughing, he smiled. “Thanks everyone and bon appetit!”

During dinner, Sienna watched as Brian made his way around to various tables, but, before he could make it to her table, he was called over to a group of important-looking men and women. Sienna shrugged and thought it was probably a good idea he hadn’t seen her yet. It would ruin the well-rehearsed speech she had prepared for tonight.

After dinner, couples began dancing, and Sienna made her way towards the front where she could see Brian talking animatedly with another couple. As Sienna watched, a petite blonde woman came up to him and whisked him onto the dance floor. When she got closer, Sienna realized it was Leighanne who danced with Brian, and her steps faltered.

“Excuse me,” a handsome man leaning on a cane interrupted her panicky thoughts of leaving. “I know it doesn’t look like it, but I can dance pretty well. Would you please dance with me?”

Sienna smiled. “Of course. I’m Sienna, by the way,” she introduced herself.

“I’m Daniel,” he told her as he set the cane down and led her onto the dance floor.

They had been dancing for about a minute and talking about the imminent success of the fundraiser when they were interrupted.

“Dan, you crazy man! What are you doing dancing with a woman who’s not your wife?” an amused female voice said.

When Sienna turned around, she realized it was Leighanne, and Brian was with her. He simply stared at her in shock. When Sienna smiled at him tentatively, his look turned easygoing again.

“I’m Leighanne,” Leighanne introduced herself to Sienna. “This one, who shouldn’t be dancing, is my husband,” she explained, jerking a thumb in Daniel’s direction.

Sienna forced a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Leighanne. I’m Sienna.”

“Wait! You’re not Sienna McKinnon, are you? Brian told me about you,” she explained. “You didn’t know who he was, which thrilled him the first time he met you. You own the flower shop in Lexington, right? Jackie Littrell tells me you do a wonderful decorating job.”

Sienna nodded. “Thank you. And, yes, I really didn’t know who he was the first time I met Brian. Now I do, and, to be honest, it doesn’t make any difference to me.”

“Well good,” Leighanne grinned. “Would you mind switching partners, so I can dance my husband into a chair?”

Sienna barely nodded before Leighanne had whisked her husband away. Then she turned to look up at Brian.

“Well, I guess I’m dancing with you, now,” she said and fitted herself into his arms.

Brian said nothing for a few moments as he took in how she looked. Her hair was curled up into a bun, leaving some of it down to frame her gorgeous face. She wore a deep blue, strapless gown with the back mostly bare. Brian could feel her warm, smooth skin and tried not to think about how much he’d missed her during his self-imposed separation from her. Then, he noticed the earrings she wore and smiled.

“I guess you liked the earrings, huh?” he murmured.

She grinned up at him. “You shouldn’t have, but I must say I love them. Thank you, Brian. Really. I’m sorry to hear you want to stay in Atlanta.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I think it’s best. I like the cottage, but I missed my place here. It was the first home I ever bought. It has some good memories there.”

“Like Leighanne?” Sienna wondered. “How did you manage to resolve your feelings towards her and ask her to work with you on tonight’s event, anyway?”

Brian spotted Leighanne scolding her husband and smiled. “It was easy, actually. I saw her when I was getting AJ coffee before Chicago, and we talked for a bit. It wasn’t awkward at all. I met her daughter, who is a very adorable baby. She smiles all the time. Anyway, I realized that I felt nothing but a friendly caring for her, and I called her the next day and convinced her to help me. She and I planned the first fundraiser a few years ago, so it was like slipping into a familiar routine, and ta-da! Tonight’s fundraiser was successfully done.”

“Yes, it was,” Sienna agreed. “Everything went smoothly. Nice touch with the heartbreaking stories, by the way. I saw quite a few older women crying. I think you can rest assured that you raised quite a bit of money tonight.”

“Thank you,” Brian said, then frowned. “Sienna, what are you doing here?”

She blew out a quiet breath and smiled up at him. “I wanted to help out a friend, Brian. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

Brian shook his head. “No, really. Why are you really here?”

“Because I wanted to see you. I needed to see you, Bri. Just like I need you in my life,” she whispered. “The last few weeks have been horrible without you. It was like losing a limb, and I ached.”

Brian absorbed her words and the genuine feeling behind them. Finally, he thought, finally she admitted that she needed him. But, before he could reply, his walkie-talkie buzzed.

“Sorry,” he said to Sienna with a tight smile. “I need to take this.”

And he walked away, leaving her to stand alone on the floor, among dancing couples.

Though tears stung her eyes, Sienna managed to keep a smile pasted on her face as she mingled with everyone else. When everyone had gone, she stuck around and waited for Brian to finish up with the cleaning crew and stow the donation boxes into a van. Then, as he walked to his car, she hurried to catch up with him. Unfortunately, by the time she made it to where he had parked his car, he had already pulled onto the street and stood at the red traffic light.

Sienna tried to make it there, but, when the light turned green, his car moved forward. She watched the accident happen as though it were in slow motion. As Brian’s car moved into the intersection, a car careened down the side street and struck Brian’s car on the driver’s side. There was a screaming sound as the two cars made impact and slid. The sound continued several moments after the cars had stopped moving, and Sienna realized that it was she who was screaming.

She bolted towards the accident and dropped to her knees next to Brian’s car. He was unconscious, she realized. His head was bleeding, and she could see his pristine, white shirt turn red. His arm was bent at an angle she knew no arm could bend.

“Brian, oh God, Bri,” she whispered. “How could this happen?”

She was thinking of how best to get him out of the car when the paramedics arrived. They quickly moved her away, so they could extract Brian from the car. As they loaded him into an ambulance, Sienna rushed over to it.

“Please,” she asked, desperate. “Please, I need to go with him.” She told them who she was and her relation to Brian, and the EMT’s agreed to let her ride with them.

The whole way to the hospital, Sienna clutched Brian’s hand on his less injured side and prayed. She had never been much of a religious person, but she hoped God listened because she knew the devoutness with which Brian led his life.

At the hospital, she was told to stay in the waiting area. After ten minutes, a nurse brought her Brian’s wallet, cell phone, and his cross necklace. She stared down at the items she held and realized she needed to call someone. When she looked around for her purse, she couldn’t find it. Thinking that she must have left it on the pavement near the accident, she picked up Brian’s phone and flipped through different numbers. The majority of the people on the list were ones she was unfamiliar with. Then, she saw Kevin’s number and hit Call. No one picked up, and Sienna nearly screamed with frustration. She went back to the phonebook and saw Leighanne’s number. It was better than nothing, and Sienna called.

“Hello? Brian?” Leighanne answered.

Sienna tried to steady her voice. “Leighanne, this is Sienna. I, I’m at Sherman Mercy Hospital. Brian’s been in an accident.”

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Leighanne answered and hung up.

True to her word, Leighanne arrived in fifteen minutes and found Sienna sitting in the waiting room, clutching Brian’s necklace.

“Sienna. Tell me what happened,” Leighanne asked her.

Sienna looked up at her and quickly related the accident. “There was so much blood,” she whispered. “I hope, oh God,” she started weeping quietly.

Leighanne put an arm around her and waited for the doctors to come and tell them how Brian was. When Sienna had stopped crying, Leighanne turned to her.

“Humor me, Sienna. How long, exactly, have you been in love with Brian?”

Sienna looked at her sharply. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Brian and I have become very close friends in the last year. I care about him, Leighanne. A lot. I can worry about him without being in love with him, you know. You do, don’t you?”

Leighanne nodded. “Yes, I do. He was a big part of my past. Speaking of which, did he ever tell you about his heart surgery?”

“He told me that he had had several and why he had to have them, but he didn’t tell me what went on during them,” Sienna explained.

“I thought he was going to die,” Leighanne murmured. “It was a heart surgery, and I have never been more afraid. If something went wrong, he would die. But, he surprised us and was perfectly fine. He was onstage within two months,” Leighanne added. “But, what I’m trying to say is, Brian’s a survivor. Yeah, I’m worried about him, but I think he’s going to pull through this. He’s gotten through several major heart surgeries, including one when he was little where the doctors told his parents to make funeral arrangements. Brian’s known to beat the odds. So, be hopeful,” she finished.

Sienna nodded, then she sat up when a doctor came over to them.

“Are you two with Brian Littrell?” When they nodded, he continued. “I have to say, Mr. Littrell is a very lucky man. In an accident like the one tonight, I wouldn’t expect anyone to live. But, we did several X-rays, CT scans, and MRIs. He came out clean in everything. The only thing is, he has two broken ribs, a fractured lower left arm, and a major concussion, which is why he’s still unconscious. We expect him to wake up within an hour or two. Because he’s stable, and because we’d like to keep him overnight for observation, he’s being moved up to the fourth floor. Room,” he flipped through the chart, “Room 416. You can go up to see him in twenty minutes.”

Sienna felt relief flood through her, then she remembered something. “Doctor, why was he bleeding so profusely, though? I saw his shirt turn red before they pulled him out of the wreck.”

The doctor glanced back through his charts. “You’re right. I forgot to mention that he had a large gash on his left side. Thankfully, the cut was superficial and didn’t affect any of his organs. He has twenty four stitches and will have a lovely scar that should lighten over time.”

Leighanne thanked him, and the doctor left. She turned back to Sienna.

“See? Brian’s a survivor. He came off with no internal bleeding, nothing. We’ll go see him in a few minutes, okay?”

Sienna nodded and sent up a silent thank you to God.

When the two women arrived on the fourth floor, they made sure Brian had been settled into his room, then made their way to it. Sienna stopped at the door and told Leighanne to go on in.

“I just need a minute,” she told Leighanne.

Leighanne nodded then entered the room. Brian’s head was bandaged along with his right arm. She knew there must be another couple bandages under the hospital gown. She was reminded of his surgery over five years before. This time, though, he had escaped danger almost entirely, and Leighanne was thankful. She sat down in a chair next to him and squeezed his hand lightly.

“Hey,” she said, smiling a little. “You made it through, Brian. We were worried, Sienna and I. You really need to stop giving us these scares. It may become a habit.” She paused. “When Sienna called, I thought that this was it. That this time, you were going to be taken from us. As scared as I was during your heart surgery, I was more terrified this time. Especially because I never told you how thankful I am that you’re back in my life. You’re a great friend, Bri. I missed that. I mean, I had Dan and, now, Michelle, but you. God, the life you emanate is amazing. It’s like someone turned on a beam of sunlight every time you walked into the room. I’m so happy you’re back in my life, and I’m glad there are no hard feelings from the terrible way I left you, either. Anyway, wake up soon. You’ve got poor Sienna out of her mind with worry. And, by the way, what’s the deal with you two? I think you’re both in love with the other and are being foolish about it. Get it together, Brian. She seems like a great woman.” Leighanne smiled and squeezed his hand again. “Seriously, Brian. Wake up soon,” she added.

Hearing a sound behind her, she turned to see Sienna step into the room. She stood up and gestured Sienna into a seat. Then, she made her way to the door.

“Leigh, you don’t have to go,” Sienna told her.

Leighanne shook her head. “I need to call Dan, check up on Michelle. Take your time.”

Sienna watched her go then turned to look at Brian. Seeing that he was all in one piece, she suppressed hysterical, relieved laughter.

“Oh, Brian,” she said to him. “I thought I was going to lose you. Especially since we left off on such an odd note. I never got around to telling you the truth. I want,” she stopped. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore. I want more than that. I need more than that,” she whispered. “Oh, hell, Brian. I need to be with you. I don’t know where it’ll lead, but I figure it’s got to be better than pretending not to be interested and hurting you.” She paused and brushed a hand through his hair. “Wake up, please. Soon. Otherwise, otherwise I think I’m going to try a fairy tale move. Not that I’ve been much for fairy tales to begin with,” she told him.

She scooted her chair up next to the bed and leaned over him. Cupping his face, she brushed her lips over his once, twice. On the third kiss, he responded. Relieved and surprised, Sienna stayed locked into the kiss. Then, she broke the kiss and sat back. Brian’s eyes were slowly opening, and, when he saw her, he managed his usual, cheeky grin.

“Well,” he managed to croak out. “It wasn’t exactly Sleeping Beauty, but I think it worked as a first kiss.”

Sienna held his hand and squeezed it. When he smiled again and squeezed hers back, she began to laugh.

“I should have known you’d play it up for all its worth,” she told him.

“Yup,” he croaked, then winced.

Sienna sprang forward. “Don’t move too much. You’ve got a major concussion, some broken ribs, a fractured arm, and twenty four stitches down your side,” she told him.

Brian’s eyes widened. “Well, gosh. No wonder it feels like a giant’s sitting on my chest, a gnome on my head, and a fire is burning in my side. Jesus Christ, how did I live through that crash?” he wondered.

“I don’t know,” Sienna answered. “But I don’t want to think about it. Let’s focus on you getting better, okay?”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” he agreed. “Sienna? That kiss, what you said before it? Is that what you really want? Deep down, do you really need me?”

Sienna smiled and brushed his hair off the bandage on his head. “Yeah, yeah I meant it,” she told him. “Every word and every second of that kiss was real, Brian. And, yes, I want to be with you—if you still want it, of course,” she added quickly, unsure whether his feelings towards her had changed in the past month.

Brian grinned. “If I still want it, huh? Do I want to breathe?” he asked himself. “Oh, yeah, more than anything. So, yes, more than anything else, Sienna, I want to be with you.”

“Well, finally,” Leighanne said, from the doorway. “I’ve been wondering about the two of you since Brian first told me about you,” she explained. “And, look. It’s all working out. Not to mention our patient’s awake. Your parents and Harry are on their way down. I managed to get a hold of Nick. He, Howie, and AJ are going to be here in an hour or so. Kevin’s in Australia with Kristin and won’t be able to make it over for a while. But, he said he hopes you get better and will make sure to call soon,” she told Brian.

“Thanks, Leigh,” he said.

One of the nurses poked her head in, and, seeing that Brian was awake, called a doctor in to examine him. The doctor reminded him that he would be here a day or so and ignored Brian’s assurances that he felt better already and that he could probably go home in a few hours.

Within an hour, Howie, AJ, and Nick arrived and caused enough pandemonium to keep Brian awake, that Brian reassured them all that he would never fall asleep. Then he turned to Howie.

“Happy Birthday, D! I’m sorry that you’re in a hospital on your birthday, man,” he apologized.

Howie shrugged it off. “Please, Brian. I’m just glad you’re okay. That’s probably a really good birthday present.”

Nick snorted. “You know you really wanted to sign that contract with that company in New Orleans for your birthday, dude. Don’t even try to lie about it.”

“That better not be what he really wants,” a voice spoke from the doorway. Everyone turned to see Liv standing at the doorway. When Howie saw her, he nearly ran everyone out of his path to get to her.

“Actually, you’re really all I’ll ever want as a birthday present,” he murmured so only she could hear him. Seeing her blush, the others in the room began hooting with laughter.

“D! Are you telling dirty sex jokes again?” Brian faked disgusted outrage. “My goodness. Men these days,” he said, shaking his head.

Sienna reached over and ruffled his hair. “Don’t talk about men these days,” she told him. “After all, I’d like to think I have sort of good taste in them, you know.”

Brian grinned back at him. “Well, of course, I’m not like men these days,” he reminded her and, grabbing her hand with his good arm, he yanked her down on the bed next to him.

AJ’s brows lifted. “Is there something the two of you aren’t telling us?”

Everyone’s attention focused on them, and Sienna laughed at the embarrassed expression on Brian’s face. “Actually, there is. This joker here has been after me for months, trying to get me to date him. Well, I felt bad for him and said yes.”

“Finally,” Brian added.

AJ nodded, understanding dawning. “Well, good,” was all he said.

Leighanne broke the following awkward silence by coming back into the room and told Sienna that someone wanted to speak to her outside. Sienna frowned, wondering who it could be, but she went out in the hall. Two cops stood in the hall, talking quietly. When they saw Sienna, they stepped forward.

“Miss McKinnon?” the taller of the two cops asked her.

“Yes?” Sienna asked.

The cop held out a hand. “I’m Detective Marshall. I’m doing the write ups for the accident tonight. I believe this belongs to you,” he said, holding out a beaded clutch.

Sienna took it. “Thank you! I was wondering where I left it. I must have dropped it when I ran to the wreck.”

Marshall nodded. “We found it next to Mr. Littrell’s car. Anyway, we just need to ask you to relate exactly what happened.”

“You were the only witness, besides the Transportation Department whose cameras alerted Emergency Services. So, we simply need you to tell us exactly what you saw,” the other police officer explained. “By the way, I’m Detective Morgan, Marshall’s partner.”

Sienna nodded. “Well, I was trying to catch up to Brian, Mr. Littrell’s,” she clarified, “car, while it was stopped at the traffic light. When the light turned green…”

***

“So you and Sienna, huh?” AJ asked Brian, while Leighanne, Howie, Liv, and Nick were talking.

Brian grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, well, I’ve had a thing for her since I met her.”

“So that whole blow up in June was because…” AJ wondered.

Brian found he couldn’t squirm when everything ached. “It was because I was jealous. You were with her, while I had tried for months. I’m sorry about that, AJ.”

AJ brushed it off. “Hey, it’s no skin off my nose. I’m just glad you two came to your senses. It was obvious in June what was going on. Why do you think I took that picture?”

“What, did everyone know that Sienna and I were interested in each other?” Brian wondered.

Nick broke away from teasing Howie and turned to Brian. “Oh, yeah. If I were blind, I’d still be able to see that the two of you had the hots for each other,” he grinned.

Brian groaned. “Great, so now I look like a bigger idiot.”

Liv smiled. “Don’t worry. I was on your side from last July. Sienna would bring you up every so often between then and February. You weren’t the only one making a fool of yourself.”

“Oh, stop it, Livvy,” Sienna said, coming back into the room. “You don’t have to tell everyone everything.”

“So, you thought about me, huh?” Brian asked her, grinning cheekily.

Sienna glared at him. “If you say anything else, this relationship will stop right here,” she warned.

“All right, okay. I promise I won’t say anything else,” he promised.

“Good.”

When he was released from the hospital, Brian insisted on going back to the estate he owned in Alpharietta. So, Sienna ended up driving him there, while he lamented about his beautiful car being gone. He had had the BMW for six years and had loved every chrome inch of it. Finally, Sienna told him that if he didn’t stop complaining soon, she would dump him out onto the highway. Though he knew she wouldn’t do that, he quieted down, anyway.

When they pulled through the gates of his home, Sienna looked around, admiring the beauty of the place.

“It’s forty two acres large,” Brian told her. “I’ve been over all forty two and love every square foot of it.”

The house was a lovely brick and wood structure. Flowerbeds bloomed beautifully in front of the house, and Sienna knew that there was a large garden in the back with fountains and pathways. Brian had talked about it when they had planted his gardens in Lexington.

Brian limped to the door and unlocked it.

“Home sweet home,” he murmured, stepping in.

Sienna followed him in and grinned. “Brian, this place is beautiful! I can definitely understand why you’d want to stay here. Did you pick out all this beautiful furniture?” she asked, admiring the luxurious furnishings in the parlor.

“Wait until you see the kitchen,” he promised her, then winced a little.

“Oh, Brian! You need to sit down,” she said and helped over to an armchair. “I bet your head is killing you. Do you want anything for it?”

Brian shook his head. “No, no. My head feels fine. My side just hurts a little bit when I walk.”

Sienna sat down in a chair across from him. “Then, I guess you just won’t be walking anywhere.”

“What about the bathroom?” he wondered.

Sienna rolled her eyes. “I meant unnecessary walking. If you need anything to eat or drink or to take your medicine, I’ll do it. Okay?”

Brian nodded.

***

Later that night, after she had given him medicine that knocked him out, she called Faith to tell her that she planned on staying in Atlanta for awhile. Faith would have to work the shop for at least the next four days. When Faith complained, Sienna promised that she would be paid extra. Faith relented, then asked how Brian was doing.

“It’s been all over the news, you know,” she informed Sienna. “You were on there, too. I liked the dress, except you looked really upset. EXTRA says that you’re Brian’s new girlfriend. Is that true, Si? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Sienna sighed. “Why did I think I wouldn’t show up in tabloids? Yes, Brian and I decided to date,” she told Faith and winced at the shrieking sound that came over the receiver.

After calming her cousin down and reminding her to check various things at the shop each day, she hung up. She walked back into Brian’s room to make sure he was asleep and found herself watching him. How had he come to be a central part of her life in such a short amount of time? she wondered. When she began to leave the room to hunt out another room for herself, she was stopped.

“Don’t go,” Brian called to her. “Just stay with me. Please.”

Sienna looked into midnight blue eyes and ended up sleeping with her head cushioned on his good arm and her hand resting over his heart.

The following morning, she woke before him and, dressing quickly, began to wander through the rest of the house while coffee brewed. She found lovely furnishings in every room, and dozens of pictures were scattered throughout the house. Many were of the Boys on the tour bus, backstage, and at home. There was a candid taken during what looked like a barbecue, where Kevin seemed to be yelling at AJ for burning the meat. Nick and Howie were laughing at them, while Brian and Leighanne were engrossed in each other, smiling at each other.

“Kristin took that picture,” Brian explained, as he moved slowly into the room and saw what she was looking at. “We had gotten a two day break on the Millenium tour. Finally. Kevin came up with the idea of a barbecue, so we managed to finesse a barbecue grill for the secret villa we were staying in off of Route 1, outside of Big Sur in California. Man, AJ wanted to try his hand at grilling and, when he burned it all, Kevin was so pissed. It was classic,” he smiled, remembering.

“So, who else was there besides you guys, Kristin, and Leighanne?” Sienna asked.

Brian cocked his head to one side, trying to remember. “I think Mandy was there. Oh, yeah, she was. I think she was in the kitchen with the Wrights when this picture was taken,” he told her, then, wincing a little, he lowered himself into a chair. “Is that coffee I smell?” he wondered.

Sienna smiled, shaking off the irrational envy she felt. “Yes, that’s coffee. Unfortunately, the medicine you’re taking warns against taking any caffeinated beverage at the same time. So, you’re stuck with tea.”

“That’s just wrong,” Brian replied, shaking his head. “So, so wrong. And cruel. What am I going to do without coffee, baby?”

Sienna shrugged and gave him an innocent look. “I don’t know. Don’t look at me. Do you want to go into the kitchen, so we can see what we can whip up for you?”

When Brian nodded, she helped him into the kitchen. As she made the pancakes that he requested, Sienna asked herself why she was suddenly so jealous of Brian and Leighanne’s past together. It made no sense because what they had was done. It was over, and it was obvious that both of them had moved on. But, Sienna couldn’t help but wonder if Brian would ever look at her in that tender way he had looked at Leighanne in that picture.

***

That afternoon, she brought up the fact that she would have to go home soon, and Brian insisted that she needed to stay.

“That way, we can work on this relationship that we’ve just started, and you can help me heal faster,” he reasoned.

Sienna sighed. “Brian, I can’t. I want to, but I have a business to run. It’s not going to run itself, you know.”

“I know, I know. Isn’t Faith taking care of it, though?” he asked.

Sienna shook her head. “For now, but only because I told her I’d pay her extra. Besides, classes for the fall semester are starting next week, and then who’ll run the shop for me? I really do need to go back, Bri.”

Brian sighed. “All right. You’re right. I just want to keep you here as long as I can. I’m feeling selfish about us.”

“Are you serious about staying here, Brian?” she wondered.

He ran a hand over his face. “I thought I was for sure. Now, I’m not sure at all. I love my home here because this,” he gestured around him, “this is my home. This is where I’m most comfortable. But, I don’t want a long-distance relationship with you, Sienna.”

“Uh-uh, no way. Stop right now, Brian. I am not going to be the reason you leave your home and stay in Lexington,” she told him, firmly.

He shook his head. “My family’s up there, too. I don’t know what I want, Sienna. Really, the only clear thing I want is you.”

She smiled and moved to him. “Then we’ll stay with that for a bit,” she told him and kissed him.

***

Three days later, she left Atlanta and made Brian promise not to lift anything heavy, sit down a lot, and, if he wanted, just live in front of the television for the next three weeks. She had already talked to Leighanne about driving him to the hospital when he needed to get his stitches out. If she felt a twinge about putting Brian and Leighanne together, she squashed it, reminding herself that Brian was with her, and Leighanne had her own family.

Getting back to work was a relief, and Sienna relished being in her shop again. However, every customer that came into the store would ask her about Brian, and, when Mrs. Gaiman came back, she remarked that she had always known Brian would be the one to sweep her off her feet. Sienna had blushed and waved it all off, saying that it was she who had swept Brian off his feet.

Each night, Sienna and Brian talked on the phone, and, he got into the habit of calling her during the workday, just so he could hear her voice.

“It’s helping me recover when I hear your voice,” he explained when she told him that he couldn’t keep calling her while she was working.

Sienna had smiled, secretly thrilled. “Alright,” she relented. “If it’s helping you recover, then you can call whenever.”

In mid-September, Sienna finally gave in and realized that she really did need another person that would work at Sienna’s Flowers full time. She hired a young woman, freshly graduated from the University of North Carolina. Marlena Gregory was a born flower expert, Sienna learned quickly. She told Sienna that she had been helping her mother plant flowers since she was three. The two women bonded like sisters while planting daffodil bulbs in Sienna’s greenhouse. Though Sienna knew Marlena and Faith were nearly the same age, she realized that she liked the way Marlena was the complete opposite. She could be quiet as a mouse one moment, and Sienna would not hear a sound from her all day when she put Marlena to set up different displays. And she knew how to make the displays to perfection, and, sometimes, Sienna knew Marlena’s displays were better than hers. Yet, the young woman was still very nervous about her work, except when it came to what the flowers needed.

“We’re, what I like to call, Plant Whisperers,” Marlena said to Sienna one day.

“Plant Whisperers?” Sienna wondered.

“Yeah, you know, like the horse whisperer. When we want flowers to do something, we have the special touch that will make them grow exactly the way we want them to. I always talk to flowers. It’s soothing for both of us, I think,” Marlena explained.

“Huh,” Sienna said, realizing that she did feel the same way.

The bell on the door jingled as the two of them set up a display of late fall flowers. Sienna looked over to see who had walked in, then let out a squeal.

“Brian!” she called out happily as she ran towards him. At the last moment, she remembered his injuries and hugged him gently. But, his arms came around her hard, and he tipped her chin up to lay his lips on her in a kiss that left her breathless.

“How’s your arm? Your side? How do you feel?” she asked him when she could breathe again.

Brian turned his arm. “Back to normal, and the scar from the stitches is fading really fast. The ribs can be occasionally sore still, but they’re almost perfect, too.”

“What about the headaches you got from the concussion?”

Brian knocked his fist against his head. “Gone,” he told her with a grin.

When she looped her arms around him for another kiss, he tapped her nose. “I believe we have an audience,” he told her and looked over her shoulder.

Sienna turned, then smiled. “Marlena! Come on over here,” she called over to Marlena, who was blushing at having been discovered watching the couple, fascinated.

She walked over to Brian and Sienna and held out a hand to Brian. “Hi, I’m Marlena,” she said.

Brian shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Marlena. I’m Brian.”

“I know,” she said, then blushed at being too forward.

Brian glanced at the nametag she wore. “So, Sienna finally broke down and hired someone to help her out, huh?” He grinned at Sienna. “I told you to do that months ago, baby.”

“I know, but I hadn’t found anyone so enthusiastic with flowers until Marlena. She’s great,” Sienna told him.

Brian turned to Marlena and smiled. “You must really be incredible because Sienna thinks that she is one of the select few to be blessed with an amazing green thumb.”

Marlena blushed again. “Thanks. I’ve been gardening since I was three. And, I graduated with a degree in botany from UNC in June. Plants are my world, and I’m really glad Sienna hired me.”

“Wonderful,” Brian said. “You’re going to have to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t overdo it, though. I’ve seen it a couple times, and she’ll never admit to it, either.”

“Because I’ve never overdone it. I always know my limits,” Sienna said, primly.

Brian and Marlena rolled their eyes simultaneously and laughed. “I’ll definitely keep an eye on her for you. You know, daily reports and all. Anyway, I’d better get that display done and get home, Sienna. It was nice meeting you, Brian,” Marlena added.

“You, too,” Brian told her. “By the way, were you a fan?”

“*N Sync the whole way,” she called over her shoulder, grinning when she saw his crestfallen expression.

Brian shook his head, sadly. “There’s one in every flower shop.”

Sienna laughed and, hooking an arm through his, walked to the back room. “So, tell me, Brian, what are you doing in Lexington?”

He sat in a chair and leaned back, watching her. “I decided to stay here. But not because of you,” he added quickly when she opened her mouth. “I realized that there’s nothing in Atlanta for me, right now. The Hearts Club is here, so my work is here. I’ve got family here, too. And, you, of course,” he added, reaching out and lacing his fingers with hers. “Plus, I’m looking to sign with a Christian label soon. Every label is located somewhere between Tennessee and Missouri, so Lexington’s a central base for me. And, it’s home. It’s my hometown, and, so, here I am,” he finished.

Sienna smiled and squeezed his hand. “I’m glad. I’m so glad because I didn’t know what I would do if you were far away. So, now what?”

“Now, you close up shop, and I’ll wait for you. Then, we’ll go out for dinner to celebrate. My treat,” he added.

“Don’t worry,” she told him. “I wasn’t thinking about paying anyway.” And she walked back into the storefront with his laughter trailing behind her.

October and November passed quickly with both Sienna and Brian spending time on their separate work during the days and spending their nights together. Though they hadn’t spoken about it, both of them held back from moving their relationship towards any sort of physical intimacy. It was enough to just be with one another, and both reveled in it.

The Littrells and Richardsons decided to have a large Thanksgiving dinner at Anne’s home, so Brian took Sienna with him. Though she tried to resist, pointing out that she wasn’t family, he refused to take no for an answer. So, Sienna spent one of the most enjoyable Thanskgivings she could remember with Brian’s family. Kevin and a beautifully pregnant Kristin were there, so Sienna figured she wouldn’t feel out of place. However, Brian’s family took her in and treated her like family, too.

Nevertheless, she didn’t notice that Jackie showed no pleasure in seeing Sienna with her younger son. Jackie knew the look on Brian’s face when he looked at Sienna and knew that he would quickly be in love with her, unless she brought the woman, she believed to be Brian’s true love, back. So, Jackie planned.

***

“Brian, are you sure your mother won’t mind that I’m coming to dinner with your family on Christmas Eve?” Sienna asked for the hundredth time.

“Baby, Mom asked me to bring you. And, even if she hadn’t, you’d still be welcome, trust me,” Brian told her. “So, just show up at my parents’ house at 4:30, and everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

“Wait, wait. I thought you were picking me up,” Sienna said.

Brian sighed. “I know, but Mom wants me to pick up someone from the airport. She says it’s a surprise. The flight’s coming in at four, so I’ll probably be home by five. I promise my mother does not bite. Besides, you already bonded with her over my birthday bash planning, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah we did,” Sienna said, remembering and feeling a little relieved. “Okay, all right. I’ll see you at your parents’ house tonight.”

“Bye, darling,” Brian said.

“See you tonight,” she answered and hung up.

***

When she arrived at the Littrells’ house, Harry opened the door.

“Hey! It’s the flower lady my brother’s gone crazy over,” Harry greeted her.

Sienna smiled. “Hello, Harry. It’s good to see you again. And you,” she added, tickling Abby as she ran up to the door. Abby gurgled then held her arms out to Sienna.

“Uh-oh,” Harry said, ominously. “Now, you’re going to be stuck with her the rest of the night.”

“It’s okay,” Sienna told him, kissing the baby’s cheek. “She’s great. I don’t mind.”

“You say that now,” Harry told her as he led her back to the kitchen where Jackie and Rebecca, Harry’s wife, were putting the finishing touches on a turkey.

They greeted Sienna, and Jackie thanked her for the bouquet she had brought and the Black Forest Cake Sienna had Liv make for her. The women and Harry moved into the living room, where Harold was plugging in the lights on the Christmas tree.

“Harold always waits until the last moment possible to plug in those lights,” Jackie explained to Sienna. “It’s his own little tradition. The crazy man,” she added fondly.

Harold hugged Sienna, and they sat and played with Abby, who would run to the pile of presents under the tree, pick one up, carry it to one of the adults, shake it in their faces, and run it back to the tree.

When the front door opened, they heard Brian call out a greeting. When he walked in, Sienna managed to keep the smile on her face as she saw the “surprise” guest.

“Leighanne!” Harry said, delighted. “We didn’t know you were coming! And, look, you brought your adorable daughter with you.” He gave her a hug and took the carrier she held, setting it down by his wife and Jackie.

Leighanne greeted everyone and smiled at Sienna. “It’s good to see you again, Sienna. How have you been?”

“Not bad,” she answered. “Besides, Christmas is my favorite holiday, so I’m as happy as a Christmas tree.”

Leighanne laughed and turned to Jackie, who hugged her as though she were a long lost daughter. Which, Sienna supposed, she was. She tried not to let the smile slide away, especially when Brian walked over and kissed her hello.

“Did my family eat you alive?” he asked her.

“Ha ha, very funny,” she replied. “I’m glad you’re here. Were you surprised at the airport?” she wondered.

Brian sighed. “Sienna, I thought you liked Leigh?”

“I do, I do,” Sienna assured him. “I just, I don’t know, Brian. I always feel like I have to be overprotective of you around her.”

His brows lifted. “Overprotective? Sienna, sweetie, I’m all yours, and you know that. I care about you so much. I would never do anything to hurt you. Besides,” he continued, looking over at Leighanne, “Leigh’s got her own family, remember?”

“Yeah,” Sienna sighed. “I’m overreacting, that’s all. I’ll be good now.”

Brian smiled. Then he turned to his mother. “Mom, when’s dinner because something smells really good!”

Jackie smiled. “Give it five minutes, honey.”

***

Dinner passed smoothly, and Sienna relaxed. Nothing was going to break her and Brian up, she thought. There was nothing to worry about. Leighanne and Brian acted like they were brother and sister almost, what with all the teasing and joking. Nothing to worry about, Sienna said to herself again. She smiled as she felt Brian squeeze her hand under the table and smile at her.

After dinner, she played with Michelle and discovered that she had an affinity for babies. As she held the baby, she wondered what it would be like to have one of her own. She tried to imagine what her child would look like. Brown hair, a rounded nose, cute, chubby cheeks, and blue eyes like…Sienna’s thoughts trailed off. Like Brian’s, she realized. She was imagining what their children would look like. And, suddenly, she realized that she was in love with him. She could see their future together, but she couldn’t see her own, separate future. She didn’t want a future separate from his, she realized.

Trying not to panic at the thought that her heart was no longer her own, she passed the baby off to Rebecca and glanced around the room for Brian. When she didn’t see him, she wandered into the kitchen where Jackie was pouring eggnog into mugs.

“Jackie, do you need any help?” Sienna asked, thinking that if she focused on something else she wouldn’t think about being in love with Brian.

“Oh, no, dear. I’ve got everything under control. I must thank you again for that cake. It was absolutely decadent,” Jackie enthused.

“It wasn’t a problem. My friend, Livvy, is a dessert chef and was happy to make one,” Sienna told her. “By the way, do you know where Brian is?”

“Oh, I think he and Leighanne are in the basement,” Jackie informed her innocently.

“The basement?” Sienna wondered aloud. “Thanks, Jackie.”

She opened the basement door and had walked down the first three steps when she heard their voices.

“I’ve missed you, Leigh. I just didn’t realize how much,” Brian was saying.

“Oh, Brian. I know what you mean. Sometimes, I dream we’re still together,” Leighanne told him. “I’m sorry that I left all of a sudden.”

“We never really said goodbye, Leigh,” Brian answered.

When there was silence, Sienna quietly crept down enough that she could see the two of them. What she saw shocked and hurt more than she thought possible. Leighanne had her arms around Brian, and they were locked in a kiss. Sienna choked back an anguished cry and hurried back up the steps.

She had to get out because she didn’t know how long she would last before the dam broke. She didn’t want to burst into tears and give them any satisfaction. Sienna hurried into the living room.

“I’m sorry, Jackie, Harold, everyone,” she began. “I’m not feeling too well. I think I’m going to get going. Thanks for the dinner—it was great! Merry Christmas!”

She grabbed her coat off the rack in the foyer and was nearly out the door when Harry called her.

“Sienna, what’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

She blinked back tears and turned to face him. “I have a terrible headache. I think I just need to get home and lie down. Don’t worry, I’ll be okay driving,” she added.

“It’s started to snow out there,” Harry told her. “It’s going to be a white Christmas. Feel better and drive safely,” he added, hugging her.

She leaned into the hug just a little, then pulled back and managed a smile. “Thanks Harry. Really.” And she left.

Harry shut the door and walked back into the living room. “Where’s Brian?” he asked. “Does he know that she’s not feeling well?”

Jackie shrugged. “She went down to the basement to see him. Perhaps she told him when she was down there.”

Harry didn’t think so, but said nothing, until Brian and Leighanne walked into the room.

“Where’s Sienna?” Brian asked them.

Harry frowned. “She wasn’t feeling well, so she headed home. I thought she told you. Mom said she was asking where you were and then went on down to the basement. She just left, what, five minutes ago?”

“She didn’t come down to the basement,” Brian told him, frowning, too. “I would know, wouldn’t I?”

“Maybe she felt ill on the steps and came back up,” Jackie suggested.

“Maybe,” Brian said. “I should go and check on her. I’m worried, now.”

But, before he could go anywhere, Jackie stopped him. “Brian, it’s nearly eleven. We have to go to church soon. I don’t think there’s enough time for you to run over there. And, you are most certainly not going to blow off church on a day as big as this.”

Brian sighed. “Mom, she must be really ill. She never feels sick, and headaches don’t bother her.”

“Brian, I think you should let Sienna rest, tonight,” Rebecca spoke up. “She’s better off sleeping than having you disturb her.”

“I agree with Rebecca, kiddo,” Harold added. “She needs rest more than you if she’s not feeling well.”

Brian sighed. “Well, I guess I’ve been told, huh? I won’t go, but I’m going to call her to make sure she’s okay.”

But, when he called, he got her answering machine and her voicemail on her cell phone. Deciding that she must have turned off her phone and gone to sleep, Brian resolved to go over the following morning, hoping that Sienna would be feeling better in the morning.
***

The next morning, after exchanging presents with his family, Brian drove over to Sienna’s cottage. He rang the doorbell twice, three times, but no one answered the door. Finally, he dug out her key on his key chain and unlocked the door. Walking in, he was about to call for her and stopped when he spotted her.

She lay on the sofa, fast asleep. She still wore the burgundy dress from the night before, but he noticed the stains on her cheeks from where her makeup had run. Had she been crying? Brian wondered. Then he felt guilty for not having been there to take care of her when she had obviously been feeling very ill.

Suddenly, her eyes fluttered open, and she stared at him in shock. Then, slowly, she sat up and rubbed at her eyes, staining the makeup further.

“What are you doing here?” she asked him in a voice devoid of any emotion.

Brian went to sit next to her, but she sprang up. He looked at her, frowning. “Sienna, are you feeling better? Harry told me you went home early because you felt ill,” he explained.

She turned to look back at him. “Did I feel ill? Yes, I did. And I had been feeling better, but now I feel sick again. I’d like you to leave, Brian,” she told him calmly.

His stomach beginning to twist, Brian reached out to take her hand, but she snatched it away before he could. “Don’t touch me. Don’t you dare touch me,” she said, her voice cold.

“What did I do, Sienna? Why are you lashing out at me?” Brian wondered.

She tried to take a deep breath, then she looked at him again. “I trusted you, Brian. I trusted you not to betray me, not to see other women behind my back. All those months of you practically begging me to be with you, and, here you are, kissing someone else when I’m not there. How stupid do you think I am?” she managed to control her voice.

“I don’t, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian began, then understanding dawned on his face.

“I guess you do now, huh?” Sienna said. “All that talk about you and Leighanne being friends, you only wanting to be with me, and Leighanne having her own family—what was that, Brian? A gigantic pile of bullshit,” she answered herself.

Brian shook his head. “Sienna, let me explain. It wasn’t what you think. We both needed closure because we never properly ended the relationship. It has nothing to do with you,” he told her, then realized what he had said.

“Nothing to do with me, huh?” Sienna wondered, trying to prevent the fresh hurt from showing. “That’s fine, then. Then, I suppose, my life has nothing to do with you. I am not going to have anything to do with you, either. So, go. Just go,” she told him, pointing to the door.

“Sienna, please,” Brian pleaded. When she remained firm, he realized that he had made a serious blunder and would now have to deal with the consequences. Part of that was respecting her wishes, so he walked to the door. Stopping, he looked back at her. She stood where he had left her and watched him out of eyes that were filling with tears. Tears he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop because he had caused them. She was everything he wanted and would never have. “I’m sorry, Sienna. I’m so sorry,” he apologized, then walked out, shutting the door behind him.

Sienna heard the door click shut and squeezed her eyes shut. Tears overflowed onto her cheeks, and, hugging herself, she wept.

Sienna walked into work half an hour late and, acknowledging Marlena working at the register, headed straight back to her office. She sat behind her desk and chased down aspirin with water. She had leaned her head back and closed her eyes when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” she called.

Marlena peeked around the door then came in and sat down. “You look terrible, Sienna. Are you feeling okay?”

Sienna shook her head and rested her head on her desk. “Headache,” she mumbled. “Sorry I’m late.”

“I’m not the boss. You are,” Marlena reminded her. “Seriously, Si. What’s wrong? Was Christmas that bad? Did your family do something?”

Sienna thought of her family. Her aunts and uncles had asked her over for dinner on Christmas, but she had called and cancelled, telling them she was sick. When Faith had offered to bring dinner over for her, Sienna had firmly refused the offer. She knew her family was worried about her, but she didn’t want her problems to become public fodder.

“No,” she told Marlena. “My family was great. I just don’t feel well.”

Marlena didn’t believe it. “Uh-uh. There’s something else. Was it Brian? Aha,” she said, triumphantly when she saw Sienna’s wince. “What did he do? Did he hurt you? Can I go beat him up?”

Sienna lifted her head and looked at Marlena. “I don’t know when it happened, Marlena, but I’m glad we’re close enough that you can offer to go hurt someone for me because you think he hurt me. Thank God,” she whispered.

Marlena was seriously concerned, now. “Sienna, what did he do?”

Sienna shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please. I just need a few minutes, and then I’ll be back to work. You’d better go make sure people aren’t walking away with my flowers,” she said to Marlena.

“Okay,” Marlena said, standing up, “but if you need to talk, I’m right here.”

“Thanks,” Sienna answered.

When Marlena had gone, she wished furiously for Liv. But Liv had taken a well-deserved break and was spending the week between Christmas Eve and New Year’s with Howie and his family in Orlando. Sienna didn’t want to call her, either, because she knew that Liv would abandon all plans and rush back home. No, Sienna thought, better to let Liv enjoy her time with Howie. Besides, she didn’t want everyone to know what was going on. It was embarrassing to be the other woman in the triangle. Even more pitiful was the fact that she was in love with a man who didn’t truly care about her.

Shaking off the burgeoning depression, Sienna stood, brushed a hand over her hair, and, firming her shoulders, strode out into the storefront determined not to let her hurt ruin the pleasure her work gave her.

***

Over the following weeks, Brian tried calling Sienna, dropping by her home and shop, determined to apologize. He wanted to explain that the kiss had meant nothing but an ending. It hadn’t even lasted more than five seconds. Unfortunately, every time he went to her cottage, she wouldn’t answer the door, nor pick up the phone. The few times he had dropped by the shop, Marlena had given him an evil glare and told him that Sienna was busy. She had prevented him from going back to the office, and Brian had eventually given up. Perhaps, he thought, it was best to give her time. Maybe time was all it took. He should know, he thought. Hadn’t he sung a song about it, anyway?

One night, three days after New Year’s, the first he had hoped to celebrate with Sienna, his doorbell chimed. When he answered, Liv pushed him back into the foyer.

“Hey,” Brian complained. “You can’t just walk into my house and shove me around, you know.”

Liv’s brows lifted. “Oh yeah? Well, you can’t blatantly kiss your ex-fiancée where my best friend, the woman you swore you cared about, can see you. How could you do that, Brian?” she wondered, disgusted.

“Livvy, I tried explaining what really happened to her,” Brian began.

“Yeah, well, save it, pal,” Liv cut him off. “Tell it to someone who really cares. Because, right now, all I know is that you hurt Sienna and should suffer a thousand agonies for it. And, to think I thought you might be good for her.”

Brian took a deep breath. “Liv, please, I’m asking you to listen. Just listen and then say and think whatever you want about me. Please,” he asked.

Liv thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Fine, but, believe me, you can’t say anything that will make me see you as anything other than the slime you are,” she told him.

“Okay,” Brian began and told her what had happened between Leighanne and him.

When he finished, Liv watched him for long moments. “Okay,” she said, finally. “Do you have anything strong to drink? I think I need one, now.”

Brian poured her Scotch, and she tipped the glass back. When she set it down, she turned to him. “Okay. Fine, I see your point. I understand the whole closure deal. But Brian, Sienna doesn’t and can’t see it that way. You have to understand that, too. From the day the two of you began dating, Leighanne’s been there. Si’s usually never insecure about anything, but she cares about you more than she’s ever cared about any man she’s been with. When she was already insecure, Leighanne shows up again at your parents’ house, and, despite your reassurances, she couldn’t help but be a little worried about your relationship. I mean, seriously. When the two of you first met, you were still pining after your ex, and, after a year, how much could really change? That’s what Sienna’s thinking is,” Liv reiterated, when she noticed Brian about to protest. “You’ve had the power to hurt her since the two of you became friends because she’s always cared about you, even when she tried not to. And, unfortunately, you did hurt her. Even if you didn’t mean to,” she added.

“So, now what?” Brian wondered. “I need her, Liv. She’s become one of the most important people in my life, and I don’t know how long I can go without her.”

“Give it time,” Liv said, simply. “Really, that’s all she needs. Once she’s recovered from the emotional wounds, she’ll be able to see a little more clearly. Run your case, then, and see what happens. I can’t make any promises, but time’s the best route you’ve got.” She stood. “I have to get going. I promised Howie I’d call tonight.”

“How’s that going?” Brian asked her.

Liv smiled. “It’s going amazingly,” she told him. “He loves me. It’s incredible! I never thought I’d ever find someone I could love and who would love me back. But, he does, and I feel like my life is complete.”

Brian grinned and hugged her. “Then I’m really and truly happy for you. Tell him I said hi and way to go!”

“I will. Just remember,” she told him as she headed out. “Give her time.”

***

Two weeks later, as Sienna readied for her annual trip to Philadelphia, her phone rang. Hoping it wasn’t Brian, she answered it.

“Sienna!” AJ greeted her, cheerfully.

She smiled. “Hey, how are you? How’s life?”

“Pretty good. I wanted to give you really good news. I’m going on Oprah to talk about my whole alcohol and drug abuse. I never got a chance to publicly address it. The guys did everything for me, then. Now, it’s my chance,” he told her excitedly.

“Are you ready for it?” Sienna asked him.

“Absolutely. I’ve thought about it, and I think that doing this will help me and others out there who are struggling with addiction, too,” AJ answered.

“When are you doing it?”

“We’re taping the day after tomorrow. I tried to get a hold of the guys, but I can’t find them. I just wanted them to know what’s going on, you know,” he explained.

Sienna nodded. “I know. It would be good to have them support you on this.”

“Yeah, but they’ve got lives of their own, too. Kevin’s getting ready for the baby, Nick’s in London for something or other, and Howie’s got real estate and Liv. Which I hear is going really well,” AJ remarked.

Sienna smiled. Of all the terrible things that had happened in the past few weeks, the one good thing was hearing that Liv and Howie loved each other. It was wonderful to hear her best friend was in love. If it made her ache with envy, she quashed it. “Yeah, it’s going really well. They’re in love.”

“Well if that doesn’t beat out everything else! There’s no one I know that deserves it more than them. Besides you and Rok, of course,” AJ added.

Sienna sighed. “No, not Brian and me. Liv and Howie really do deserve it, though.”

“What’s wrong, Sienna? What happened?” AJ’s concern was clear.

“Nothing at all. Everything’s as it should be, AJ,” she reassured him cheerily. “You worry about Oprah. Just know that I’m supporting you the whole way, okay?”

“Thanks, Si. And you should know that if something’s wrong, you can always tell me,” AJ reminded her.

“Thanks, AJ.”

When they hung up, Sienna dialed Brian’s number, hoping that he wouldn’t be at home. When his answering machine came on, she sighed, relieved, and left a message.

Later that day, Brian heard her message and knew that, despite the hurt she felt, she still supported his quest to keep the Boys together. He called Howie, Nick, and Kevin, letting them know what was going on, and they agreed to go on the show to surprise AJ. It was the kind of thing that would really touch him, they knew.

Kevin called Oprah’s office and got the go ahead easily, especially because Oprah loved any excuse to bring emotions out on her stage. When they walked onto the stage and watched AJ’s eyes tear up, all four men knew that they had been right to come and felt the tears fill their eyes, too. Kevin, the one who had been the most instrumental in staging an intervention, hugged AJ as the tears flowed down his cheeks. They sat with Oprah and rehashed the problems and, in doing so, the Backstreet Boys felt themselves come together again. Not just in friendship, but in every other way, they knew that they couldn’t put off being a band any longer.

That night, they gathered in AJ’s hotel room and discussed their options for the future.

“I want the Backstreet Boys back,” Brian said, simply. “I don’t know how much longer I can handle us not singing, not performing, not being us.”

Howie nodded. “I love my work, guys, but it’s not the same as being together with everyone. I need that rush we got onstage when our fans were cheering.”

“Let’s bring us back,” AJ suggested. “Don’t we all hunger for it?” he looked around at Nick and Kevin.

Nick nodded. “It’s not the same, doing things without you guys. I realized the reason Now or Never tanked was because I can’t perform on stage without you guys. It’s just not the same,” he repeated.

They looked at Kevin. Kevin sighed. “Kristin’s going to give birth in less than a month, and I just don’t want to miss out on our baby’s life. I want to sing again, too, don’t get me wrong. I love you guys, but I need my wife and child, too.”

Brian nodded. “Fair enough. Except we can’t be a band without Big Brother riding herd on us. We may be grown men, but we still need you looking out for us, Kevin.”

“He’s going to be looking out for his baby, now,” Howie reminded them. “Kevin’s not going to be just ours anymore. As much as I don’t want to admit it, his first priority is his family. We come second. Right?” he asked Kevin.

Kevin ran a hand through his hair, wearily. “My first priority is my family, but that includes you, too. The thing is, if we decide to record another album and do another tour, it’ll take at least a year to put it all together, right? Maybe, maybe I can spend that year with Kris and our baby, and, later, they could come on tour with us. I think Kris’ll go for that.”

Nick grinned. “I think it’ll be cool to have a kid around while we’re touring. What do you think?” he asked the others.

“I think it sounds great. We’re back in business, boys. Excuse me, men,” AJ corrected himself and watched the smiles spread on his fellow bandmates’ faces.

“There’s just one other thing,” Brian said. “I’ve been talking to Provident Records about doing a gospel album. It’s something I’ve really wanted to do, and, if you think it’ll interfere with our stuff, I won’t do it,” he added.

Nick shook his head. “No way, man. We are not going that route again. If this is something you really want to do, then do it. We’ll support you one hundred percent. Right guys?” When the others nodded, Nick smiled. “See? If you need time to record that album, take it. We’ll work something out, and I’ll be the first to buy it,” he promised.

“Thanks guys. Really,” Brian thanked them, sincerely.

Howie pretended to dust his hands. “Well, now that that’s all been cleared, I think we have to think about who we want managing us. We fired The Firm, remember?”

They all remembered and, after much discussion, agreed that Johnny Wright had been the best manager they’d had in twelve years. Kevin agreed to call Johnny and speak to him on their behalf. When Nick complained about being hungry, they decided on room service because none of them wanted to separate. This was the first time all five were together in the same room since the day they had argued about firing The Firm, and all of them cherished the togetherness they felt.

Over dinner, AJ asked Howie how Liv was and was rewarded with Howie’s huge grin.

“I’m going to ask her to marry me,” Howie told them, excitedly.

Nick’s brows lifted. “Whoa, D, didn’t you just start dating six months ago? Aren’t you moving a little fast?”

Howie shook his head. “When it’s right, it’s right. When I look at her, I know she’s the one I’ll love for the rest of my life.”

“And she feels the same way?” Kevin asked him.

“Livvy’s a bundle of joy when she talks about Howie. He’s like the freaking sun, moon, and stars for her,” Brian told them, smiling. “It’s really great. I’m happy for you, D. If you ask her to marry you, I think she’ll say yes before you even finish asking her.”

“I hope so,” Howie said. “By the way, how’s Sienna, Brian?”

At Brian’s pained expression, AJ shook his head. “I knew it, I knew there was trouble in paradise. What happened, Rok?”

“It was my fault,” Brian explained what had happened over Christmas. “And, now, she won’t even look at me, speak to me, or anything! I need her back, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“I think you need to learn a lesson from this,” Kevin told him. “Keep your hands off of Leigh. She’s like poison to your relationship with Sienna. If Liv told you Sienna’s insecure about the way you feel about her, then try not to give her a reason to be insecure.”

“I know, but I don’t think I’ll ever get her back after this. She won’t even let me explain,” Brian moaned. “I just don’t know why she’d be insecure about how I feel about her, though.”

“Don’t you?” Howie wondered. “Liv said that the issue Sienna’s helped you with the most was the way you felt about Leighanne. If that was the beginning of your relationship, I’m not surprised that she feels uncertain about everything. Besides, Sienna apparently thinks that, because she’s just a florist, she doesn’t hold any special charm for you. That you’re just amusing yourself and keeping your mind off of Leighanne.”

“What?! Oh, God. Did I really give her that idea? But she would’ve kicked me out before this if she thought that. Sienna’s no spineless woman,” Brian said.

“I don’t know, Bri, but maybe Liv’s right. Just give her time, then try to talk to her again,” AJ suggested. “So, Kevin, how is the wonderfully pregnant Kristin?” he turned to Kevin, changing the subject.

Kevin broke into smiles then, and they spent the rest of the night hearing about the ultrasounds, feeling the baby kick, and every test they had taken to make sure their baby would be healthy.

***

Two days later, Brian returned to Lexington and went to search for Sienna. When he didn’t find her at home or in the shop, he began to worry. However, he ran into Faith at the grocery store and was told that Sienna was in Philadelphia, taking care of her parents’ restaurant, which was something she did every January for two weeks. Brian wondered why Sienna hadn’t told him about the restaurant before, but he hopped on the first flight to Philadelphia.

The package sat on her desk where it had sat for a day and a half, now. Faith had overnighted it to her, thinking Sienna would appreciate having a present Brian had left her sooner rather than later. Finally, tired of wondering what lay beneath the blue and purple wrapping paper, she broke it open and opened the box. The card inside read, Thank you. Always, Brian. Lifting out a dancing pig with a clock set in its belly, she began to laugh. When the laughter threatened to become hysterical sobbing, Sienna stopped herself and put the pig back into the box and returned to the financial documents for her parents’ restaurant.

“Sienna?” a voice interrupted her work.

She glanced up and froze. Then, slowly she set down her pen. “What are you doing here?” she asked Brian, who stood in the doorway and glanced around the room.

He walked in and sat at the chair across the desk from her. “I wanted to see you, and Faith told me you were here. I need to explain everything, Sienna. Please. Then, if you still can’t forgive me, I’ll get out of your life,” he told her.

Sienna sighed. “Fine. Go on, explain. I doubt it’ll do much good,” she added.

“I told you that the kiss and what happened between Leighanne and me had nothing to do with you, but I was wrong,” he began. “It had everything in the world to do with you and the relationship I want to build with you. The thing is, the whole time I was with you, I was afraid that I still had feelings for Leighanne. I mean, I missed her as a friend, as someone I could just talk to. But, I was afraid that somehow I still cared about her, while the only person I truly wanted to be with was you.”

“So, you’re telling me that you didn’t know how you felt? You didn’t know your own heart and mind?” Sienna asked, incredulous. “Please, Brian. Come up with something better.”

“You know it’s true, Sienna. Why else do you think I needed a therapist for so long? Anyway,” he continued, “I thought the only way to find out if I really had any feelings for Leigh was to just kiss her. And, when I did, I realized I felt nothing. Not a single thing—except for happiness because it was only you I really had feelings for. Everything else I was confused about was residual. It turns out Leigh felt the same way, and, now, both of us can really and truly move on. I’m sorry that it hurt you, that it made you feel as though I didn’t care. Because, really, I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about another woman. Including Leighanne. I’ve got all these crazy, mixed up feelings inside me for you, and I just want a chance to prove them to you,” Brian finished.

Sienna looked down at her hands for several moments and tried to prevent the tears from overflowing. Brian watched her, nervous. “Sienna, would you look at me, please?” he asked her gently.

When she did, the smile on her face nearly blinded him to the tears that poured down her cheeks. “Oh, Brian, I’ve been such a mess,” she whispered. “I hated you for kissing her and hated Leighanne for having had a past with you. I guess I just let it all get to me,” she told him.

He rounded the desk and, kneeling before her, brushed the tears from her cheeks. “If you ever doubt how I feel about you, just ask me. Talk to me, Sienna. That’s the only way we can work this relationship. And I really, really need it to work because I really, really need you,” he added.

Sienna laughed and, throwing her arms around him, kissed him. It left him breathless but full of joy because they were together again, and he felt nearly invincible with her by his side.

Drawing back, he stood, perched on the edge of the desk, and peered down at the papers on her desk. “What’s this? And what are you doing at this restaurant?” he asked her. “I mean, I know it was your parents’ place, but what are you doing here?”

“I inherited it and didn’t want to sell it,” she explained. “So, my uncles advised me to hire a manager, someone I trusted completely, to run the place. Every January, I come here to make sure the books are all in order because I’m the legal owner of this place.”

“Huh. So, why is it called Jamie’s?” Brian wondered. “Did your parents name it after a relative?”

Sienna shook her head. “No, they named it after my brother.”

“Wait, I thought you were the only child,” Brian reminded her.

“I had a younger brother named Jamie. He died when he was three months old of a heart infection,” she told him. “You know how that is.” When he nodded, she continued. “Anyway, after that, when my parents opened this place, we agreed to name it in honor of him.”

“I’m sorry about your brother,” Brian told her.

“Me, too,” she replied. “I was six when it happened, and it shook me up quite a bit. After that, my parents couldn’t have any more children, so I was the only child. They heaped all their love on me, and I couldn’t sell this place because it would be like letting go of them completely.”

Brian nodded. Then, he grinned. “You know what we need? Besides changing the subject because it’s making you sad again,” he added. “We need a song. One that’s just for us, that’ll remind us of each other always. And one that I had no part in singing,” he added.

Sienna nodded. “How about the next song that comes on the radio?” she suggested.

When she flicked the radio on, a rap song poured through the speakers, and Brian started laughing. “That’s it! We’re going to have a 50 Cent song be ours. That’s incredible!”

She glared at him then hit another button. Commercials played on the next station, but, before she could change it, Brian stopped her. “Wait the commercials out,” he told her. “I have a good feeling about this station.” Sienna shrugged and waited.

After the commercials and the radio station’s jingle, Clay Aiken’s “This is the Night” began to play. Brian snapped his fingers and “Ah-ha”’d. “Perfect! Dance with me, Sienna,” he added, holding out a hand.

Though she felt ridiculous, she let him hold her and lead her in the dance. As she listened to the lyrics, she felt better about the song and figured that if they had to have a song, this one was better than most.

When the world wasn’t upside down
I could take all the time I had
But I’m not gonna wait
When a moment can vanish so fast
Cause every kiss is a kiss you can never get back

When the answer to all my dreams
Is as close as a touch away
Why am I here
Holding back what I’m trying to say?

This is the night
Where we capture forever
And all our tomorrows begin
After tonight we will never be lonely again

Lift me up
In your eyes
If you told me that
Is what heaven is
Well, you’d be right
Hold me close
To your heart
I would go with you to the ends of the earth
And we’ll fly
I’ve been waiting forever for this
This is the night

When the song ended, Brian continued to sway with her, his lips pressed to her temple. The song was perfect, he mused. It summed up everything they felt about each other. So, good for the American Idol singer, he thought.

Sienna pulled out of his hold and, framing his face with her hands, kissed him again. This time, they both kept the kiss gentle, sweet and poured everything they felt about the other into it. She smiled when it ended.

“I’ve got all these crazy, mixed up feelings inside me for you, too,” she told him. “I was so confused by the time Christmas Eve rolled around and seeing you with Leighanne made me even more confused.”

“I’m sorry,” Brian apologized again, but she shook her head.

“No, I don’t want any more apologies,” she told him. “Just promise me that the next time you decide to kiss a woman to find out if she means more to you than just a friend, we should either not be dating, or you should tell me first.”

Brian chuckled. “Don’t worry, from now on, I plan on asking you before I do anything.” Then, remembering something, he grinned. “Except for this one thing. The guys and I talked stuff over the night after we taped Oprah and figured out a lot of things. We’re going to record another album, get our old manager back, and they’ve agreed to let me record my own gospel album. If I ever get signed, of course,” he added.

Sienna smiled. “Of course they’ll sign you! Haven’t they heard your voice? I’m really happy about the five of you coming together again, Brian. You all deserve it. I have to confess that I’ve been listening to your songs, and they’re not so bad. I really, really like As Long As You Love Me. It’s so sweet, and your verse sends shivers down my spine. Of course, that might just be because I’ve got you,” she added.

“Uh-uh, darling. On the contrary,” he said, scooping her off her feet, “I have got you!”

***

Brian stayed with her for the next three days, then, when he got a call from Kevin saying that Johnny had agreed to talk to them, he had to leave. They would be meeting Johnny in a remote spot—somewhere neutral for all of them to talk, Brian explained to Sienna. Howie had lent them a property he had impulsively bought for himself on Orcas Island off the coast of Washington State. The Boys and Johnny would meet there and work through an agreement.

So Brian flew out to Washington, and, after three days, Sienna finished up going over the books for Jamie’s and returned to Lexington. When she arrived home, Liv was waiting for her, nearly jumping out of her skin with excitement.

“Look!” Liv squealed as soon as Sienna had made it to her porch. She waved her left hand in front of Sienna’s face and grinned like a lunatic. Sienna saw something shiny on her third finger and grabbed Liv’s hand.

“Oh, my goodness. Livvy!” she squealed. “Howie asked you to marry him!” Liv nodded, then burst into tears. “Oh, oh, honey,” Sienna opened the door quickly. “Come on, let’s sit and have a good cry. A happy cry,” she added and settled Liv down on the couch, draping her arms around her.

Liv wept for a few minutes then sniffled. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m so happy I feel like I’m going to burst inside. Howie was here for the last week and a half,” she explained. “He spent more time with my family, and of course they love him. It turns out that he asked my dad for his blessing over Thanksgiving. Thanskgiving!” Liv exclaimed. “He’s been thinking about marrying me since then! I hadn’t even realized I loved him then, but somehow he knew. God, I love him. I’m so scared, though,” she murmured.

“Of what?” Sienna wondered. “You’ve got a man who’s crazy about you. He’s obviously head over heels in love with you and thinks the world revolves around you. Your family likes him, his family likes you, he’s asked you to marry him. I don’t see what’s wrong in that whole scenario. Unless, you don’t love him enough to marry him,” Sienna said slowly. “Liv?”

Liv shook her head. “God, no. Si, he makes me so crazy in love that I can’t see straight. I love him, and I’m sure he’s the one. It’s just the whole marriage deal, you know? I didn’t even think that there was a guy out there who would want to marry me, at this time last year. And, now look! He’s given me a ruby! A freaking ruby!” she looked down at her hand again. “What am I scared of?” she asked herself suddenly. “If I screw up, Howie’ll fix it because that’s how it goes, right? When you mess up, the other person’s always there to help you through it. I need to talk to him.” She stood up. “I’m sorry, Si, I gotta go call him.” And she was gone.

Sienna smiled to herself and wondered if she and Brian would ever get to that stage. The marriage stage, she thought. She couldn’t see her life without him and hoped that he might one day feel the same about her. It might just kill her, she thought, if she had to let him go and see him with another woman.

Then, shaking off those thoughts, she decided to stop by the shop before it closed and see how Marlena had done running it for two weeks.

***

The taxi stopped in front of a cozy-looking cottage on a street facing the winter beach. Brian paid the driver and walked up to the door. Nick opened the door when he rang the doorbell and greeted him.

“AJ and Howie are here, already,” he told Brian. “Johnny called from the airport. He’ll be here soon, too.”

“What about Kevin?” Brian asked him.

Nick shrugged. “Kevin doesn’t want to leave Kris alone, especially since she could pop any day now. I have a feeling Kristin is going to make him come up here, though. My money’s on her,” he added.

Brian agreed, then, walking into the kitchen, he greeted the other two men. Howie was cooking something while AJ lounged in a chair at the kitchen table.

“Nice house, D,” Brian told Howie and sat at the table with AJ. When Nick continued to stand with a funny, slightly sick-looking expression on his face, Brian cocked his head quizzically. “What’s wrong, Kaos?”

Nick ran a hand through his hair. “If I tell you guys something, will you promise not to laugh at me?”

AJ smiled, slyly. “That depends on how stupid whatever you did is. Did you get arrested again?”

Nick shook his head. “No, man, it’s nothing as bad as that. Besides, I’m way over that. I wouldn’t do it again.”

Howie set a pot of spaghetti on the table and turned to Nick. “Nicky, just spit it out. It can’t be that bad.”

“I’m dating Paris Hilton,” Nick blurted out.

Three pairs of eyes glued themselves to him, until AJ shook his head. “No, really, Nick. What’s really bothering you? Nice joke, but I don’t believe it.”

Nick let out a frustrated breath and dropped into a chair. “See, I knew you’d think it was funny.”

“You’re serious?” Brian asked him, leaning forward. “You’re really dating the infamous heiress?”

“Hey, she’s sweet,” Nick defended the absent Paris. “We’ve been dating for a month, and I like her.”

AJ shook his head. “Man, I never saw this coming. First, you start hanging out with Tommy Lee, and, now, you’re dating the blonde bombshell heiress. Are you trying to live the rock star lifestyle of sex, drugs, and rock and roll?”

Nick glared at him. “Tommy’s a great guy, and Paris is a wonderful woman. I don’t do drugs, anyway. I’ve learned that lesson. Besides, it’s not like you guys aren’t getting any action, either,” he countered.

AJ leaned back. “Gentlemen,” he said to Brian and Howie, “I believe Nick is under some false impressions. I’m not having sex lately, neither is Brian. The only one here I presume is having sex is Howie over here. Right, D?”

Howie shook his head. “I don’t know why I hang out with you guys. But, yeah, I might be. And the term would be “making love,” AJ. Because Liv and I are in love.”

“See?” Nick said. “I’m not the only one in the sack with a woman.”

Brian held up a hand. “Why are we talking about our sex lives? Why are you having sex with a woman you’ve known for a month? And why the hell wasn’t I asked if I was having sex?”

AJ rolled his eyes. “Sex is something guys fantasize about all the time. Didn’t you get the memo, Rok? Nick can’t keep his hands off Paris because, well, he’s a healthy male. Although a month is a short time, Nick,” he shook his head. “And, right, we’re not asking you about yours because you’re not in a relationship anymore. And, if you were, you still wouldn’t have done the deed because you take a year to make up your mind. Remember?”

Brian looked miffed. “Well, for your information, I am in a relationship. I groveled on my hands and knees, and she forgave me. Thank God,” he added. “And, fine, you’re right. I do take quite a bit of time to decide to be with someone intimately because it’s important to me.”

The phone rang, and, Brian being the closest to it, he leaned over and picked it up. “Hello?”

“Hi, this is Jane Kearney. I was wondering if I could speak to Howie Dorough, please,” a woman spoke on the other end.

Brian looked over at Howie, who gestured that he didn’t want to answer any calls. “I’m sorry,” Brian told the woman. “I’m afraid he’s not home right now. Can I take a message?”

“Oh, well, I was just calling to confirm whether or not Mr. Dorough is engaged to be married to the dessert chef, a Miss Olivia Taylor, at a Lexington, Kentucky restaurant. I’ll just call back,” she said and hung up.

Brian placed the phone on the receiver and turned to Howie. “Hey, D. Is there something you want to tell us?”

Howie shook his head. “Nope. If I did, I would have told you already.” He paused. “Okay, all right. I asked Liv to marry me, she said yes. There, that’s all.”

Nick was the first to break the silence. “Wow, congratulations, Howie. I guess you decided to ignore us and ask her. I’m really glad.”

“Thanks. She’s a little nervous, now,” Howie told them. “She thinks she’ll mess stuff up, but I told her that I’d fix it. And she laughed and said she figured that’s how it would work. Of course, if I ever screw up, I know she’ll fix it, too. That’s how it goes, right?”

Brian nodded. “I think so. I mean, I think that’s how Kevin and Kristin work. That’s how my parents worked. It’s a partnership, and I can’t think of anyone who deserves you more than Livvy. I’m happy for you guys.”

“Me, too,” AJ added with a smile.

The doorbell rang, and Howie went to open it. Johnny Wright and Kevin walked in and greeted them.

“Kris made you come, huh?” Nick grinned at Kevin.

Kevin nodded. “She said this was important for our family, and that she’d be fine for a day. So, it turned out Johnny and I were on the same flight up.”

“Yeah,” Johnny smiled. “We caught up a little. Damn, I’m gonna feel like a grandfather when Kristin has that baby, man.” He shook his head. “You were married yesterday, it feels like.” He turned to the rest of the guys. “God, it’s good to see you all again.”

Brian stepped forward and hugged him. “It’s great to have you back with us,” he told Johnny.

“Yeah,” Nick, AJ, and Howie echoed the sentiment.

Johnny stepped back and tried to blink back the tears he knew would overflow soon. “Well, men. Let’s get to business, and then we’ll just catch up,” he said.

They spent the cold, gray afternoon discussing the Boys’ plans for the future, and why they were looking for Johnny to rejoin them. At times, each man ended up feeling weepy, both for the past and for the new future they would soon forge. As night fell, they agreed to partner up again, and Kenneth Crear, Johnny’s new partner, would also manage them. Johnny agreed to have them meet Crear as soon as possible. The next step they would take would be to meet with their respective lawyers along with the Jive Records execs and draw up a formal contract, outlining the responsibilities of each party and the portions each would receive. None of them appreciated the fact that Lou Pearlman received a certain amount from their sales, but they knew that combating that was for later.

Later that night, after Nick, AJ, Howie, and Johnny had gone to sleep, Brian found Kevin staring out the window at the beach with his cell phone in hand.

“What’s up, Kevy-Kev?” Brian asked, sitting down next to his cousin.

Kevin sighed. “I want to be back home,” he murmured. “The baby’s coming soon. I can feel it.”

Brian looked down at his hands. “Well, I can’t say that I’ve ever been on the verge of becoming a father, but your baby’s not going to be born a second sooner than it wants to be. You’ll be home tomorrow, and then the baby will come. Do you really think a kid’ll want to be born without its father there? I don’t think so,” he answered himself.

“I know. I know that, but something inside me is saying that the baby’s coming. So, I’m just going to be ready,” he added, glancing down at the phone he held.

“And if Kristin calls in the morning, and you’ve been up the entire night, do you really want to welcome the baby when you’re falling asleep?” Brian asked him.

Kevin looked at him. “Do you really think that there wouldn’t be a certain amount of adrenaline running through me if my kid’s about to be born?”

Brian nodded. “Touché. Sorry, Kevin. I don’t know what it’s like to be expecting a baby. I want to,” he added wistfully.

Kevin put his arm around Brian’s shoulders. “It’s the scariest fucking thing ever, knowing that there’s going to be a person you helped create. They’re going to expect you take care of them, love them, and be there for them always. I never thought I’d be able to be unselfish enough to be a father, but, ever since Kristin told us she was pregnant, I’ve felt this incredible love for the baby. It’s not even here yet, but I know if I had to, I’d die for it. That’s what it feels like,” he told Brian.

“Wow,” was all Brian could say.

At four that morning, Kevin’s phone rang, startling Brian out of sleep. He sat up on the couch and listened to Kevin’s conversation.

“Hey, baby…Okay, okay, God, it’s coming…Your water didn’t break yet, did it? Okay, so there’s still a little bit of time…You’re sure this isn’t Braxton-Hicks?…Okay…She’s taking you to the hospital…okay, just, I guess, just hold on…I’ll try to get a flight down as soon as possible. No matter how much I have to pay…Hang in there, baby. I love you.”

He hung up and looked over at Brian. “She started getting contractions, and, because the baby’s shifted down, she’s sure it’s coming. I need to go get a flight. Tell the others I’m sorry, but Kris is having the baby.”

“Kevin, we understand. Just go. Now. Tell, Kris I said good luck and congratulations,” Brian said as he walked Kevin to the door. Kevin gave him a small smile then, shrugging into his coat, he opened the door.

“Oh, yeah. Bri, tell Johnny I’m sorry but I had to take the rental car. I’ll pay him back and all,” Kevin added.

Brian shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Just go.” And, shoving Kevin out the door, he shut it and watched the car roll down the driveway and drive off.

***

The following evening, as the guys sat around playing poker, AJ glanced at the clock. “Man, Kristin’s been in labor for twelve hours. That baby’s taking its sweet time coming,” he wondered aloud.

“I hope Kevin’s not freaking out and yelling at the doctors or anything. You know how he gets all control freak when he’s panicking or tense,” Nick reminded them.

Brian smiled. “Can you just imagine if he does? He’ll probably end up yelling at Kris, and she’ll yell right back.”

The phone rang, and all four reached for it, but Nick got it first.

“Hello? Kevin! How’s Kristin? Is the baby born yet? Oh, sorry…Okay, go ahead. It is?! Really?! That’s awesome, amazing. We’re uncles!” he said to the rest of the guys. “Did you pick a name?” he asked Kevin. “Oh, cute. Okay, well, congratulations, tell Kris, too. Go, go be with your family, Kevin. Bye.”

Nick turned to the rest of them. “They had a girl! Kristin named her Bridget Anne Richardson. How awesome is that? We have ourselves a niece—the first Backstreet Girl.”

They all agreed and toasted the baby and Kristin’s strength with iced tea. Then they debated who the baby probably looked like and agreed that they would feel terrible for her if she had Kevin’s eyebrows. Then, Howie and Brian called Liv and Sienna to let them know the good news. Both women were happy for Kevin and Kristin and wondered when their own men would come home.

“Soon,” Howie promised Liv. “We’re just waiting for word from Johnny and his partner Kenneth Crear. Then, we’ll just have to schedule a meeting with Jive and set everything up for the new record.”

“Okay,” Liv said. “But, I thought we wanted to get wedding planning in soon, too. Especially if we’re going to be getting married at the end of May.”

“I know,” Howie told her. “I promise I’ll be back in two weeks. No later. Do me a favor, love. Start planning where we’re getting married and how many people you want there. Personally, if we could keep it a small, intimate deal, I’d be really happy.”

“Really?” Liv asked him. “Because that’s what I’ve always wanted, too.”

“Great,” Howie smiled. “Start planning, and, as soon as we finish stuff up, I’ll be there.”

***

The meeting with Jive, WrightCrear Management, and the Backstreet Boys went well, and each group came away feeling positive about their new venture. The Boys called several producers, songwriters, and musicians and set up a schedule for recording the new album. They had decided that they wanted to take their time with it and would probably release it in the spring of 2005.

Before they headed off to their respective homes until the first recording time on their schedule, they stopped by the Richardson residence in Los Angeles to see the baby.

“She’s wonderful,” AJ grinned at Kevin and Kristin as he peered over Brian’s shoulder to look at the baby. She had her mother’s honey-colored hair and her father’s jade eyes. She was also twenty-one inches long, which guaranteed that she was going to have her parents’ tall height.

They took pictures and admired her tiny fingers and toes. Each time she cried, a different uncle hurried to pick her up, until Kristin told Kevin that they wouldn’t need to hire a nanny when it was time to tour. It was obvious that if Bridget cried during a show, one of her uncles would leave the stage to take care of her. When Nick heard that, he grinned and told her that Bridget was definitely more important than the show and, of course he would pick her up. The other three had agreed, too.

***

By the time April rolled around, there were fifteen new songs for the next album. Howie and Liv were well on their way to finishing up the planning of their wedding, Bridget was growing quickly, and Brian was working to get signed with Provident Records.

Finally, in April, the Provident execs signed the three to four album contract with Brian. At the official signing, Sienna stood with Brian as he shook hands. She couldn’t help but be proud of him and nervous that he had brought her with him for what would be their first public appearance together.

EXTRA called her his “new love,” and Brian agreed, silently. He wasn’t ready to tell her that he was in love with her. That he had been in love with her since the previous April. He wasn’t ready to put his heart out there yet because he was afraid of it being crushed again. So, he kept his mouth shut and listened to her complain about the pictures that EXTRA had taken of her.

“I look horrible. Like a tramp,” she vented.

Brian ran his hand down her arm and linked fingers with hers. “Baby, you’re not a tramp. And, if you are, you’re my tramp. I don’t mind that one bit.”

She huffed out a breath. “Still. I don’t want the world seeing me like that. I mean, what was I thinking wearing that hideous outfit?”

Brian didn’t think it was hideous, but she told him that he had a male’s taste in clothing. Brian couldn’t disagree with that, so he kept his mouth shut.

“I got the invitation from Liv and Howie the other day,” he told her when she had quieted down.

“Oh, yeah,” she remembered. “I can’t believe I’m going to be Livvy’s maid of honor. I went for the first fitting yesterday. At least the dresses aren’t some hideous color. They’re a lovely, pale blue. And Liv looks amazing! Howie’s eyes are going to pop out when he sees her.”

“Howie’s eyes would pop out if she wore anything,” Brian reminded her. “They already do.”

“They’re so perfect for each other,” Sienna sighed, settling back on his couch and resting her head against his shoulder. “I can’t imagine what it would be like to be getting married. Livvy’s cool as a cucumber, but every time someone says his name, she lights up. It’s so beautiful to watch.”

“Howie’s the same way,” Brian told her. “He also wants the guys to get strapped up into penguin suits. I hate that,” he added.

“But you’ll do it,” Sienna reminded him, poking him in the ribs.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Brian grinned. Then, he sighed. “It’s so strange knowing Howie’s going to be moving into Lexington. We went house-hunting yesterday. He doesn’t want Livvy knowing that he’s looking for a place because she still thinks they’ll just be living in her town home. He wants to surprise her with a dream house.”

Sienna sat up. “What if Liv doesn’t like the house? What’ll he do then?”

Brian shook his head. “Do you think he doesn’t know her inside and out, yet? Anything he does makes her happy. I think he’ll find something that she’ll love.”

“You’re right,” Sienna said, flopping back down. “Six weeks and counting.”

***

The wedding took place the weekend before Memorial Day in a park north of Lexington. The day was sunny and beautiful, and Howie was more nervous than he had ever been about anything. As the string quartet began to play the Wedding March, John leaned over and patted his shoulder.

“Calm down, little brother,” he told Howie. “Otherwise, you’ll barely get your vows out. Everything’ll be fine as soon as you see her.”

Howie nodded, and, when he saw Liv, his jaw dropped. He began to grin like a lunatic as he took in the flowing, champagne-colored dress and her huge grin. Her father smiled at Howie then placed her hand in Howie’s.

The ceremony went wonderfully, and the reception was enjoyed by all. After the cake was cut, Brian scooped Sienna up and moved her onto the dance floor.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more breathtaking sight,” he told her.

She laughed and looked over at Howie and Liv. “I know. She’s so happy that she radiates it.”

Brian shook his head. “No, baby, I was talking about you. You’re perfect,” he whispered against her hair.

Sienna let the feeling of contentment fill her up. “I’ve never seen you look more perfect, either,” she told him. “I feel like the cat who got the entire bowl of cream. I just can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow.”

Brian sighed. He had scheduled a recording session for his solo album in Denver that began the day after Howie’s wedding. It would last three weeks, and, immediately after, the Boys had a recording session in Los Angeles. It would mean being away from home, non-stop, for over a month. Brian had no desire to go, but he knew that he couldn’t always have everything the way he wanted it.

“I know, darling,” he told her. “I want to do nothing more than spend all my time with you. I wish the scheduling hadn’t worked out this way, but it did.” He gathered her close, so she could feel his heartbeat beneath her hand. “You mean more to me than anything,” he admitted.

Sienna stepped back. “Then show me,” she said, taking the chance that they were ready for it.

Brian looked at her. “Are you sure?” he asked.

Sienna nodded and placed her hand in his. Not bothering to say goodbye to anyone but Howie and Liv, who quickly figured out what was going on, they left the reception. The whole ride home, Sienna tried not to think. If she analyzed what they were doing, she would ruin it, she knew. Instead, she delighted in the feel of Brian’s lips on her hand. He drove one-handed, keeping her hand in his and kept kissing the back of it.

When they arrived at her cottage, she fumbled with the key and finally managed to unlock the door.

Brian stopped her inside the door. “Sienna, tell me you’re sure this is what you want.”

She linked her arms around his neck. “I’m more sure than I’ve ever been about anything,” she told him.

He nodded and, sweeping her into his arms, carried her up the stairs.

***

As the first hints of dawn broke on the horizon, Brian kissed her shoulder and slid out of bed.

“Brian?” Sienna woke and looked over at him. “You’re not leaving already, are you?”

He buttoned up his shirt and picked up the jacket. “I’m sorry, darling. My flight’s at seven, and I have to grab my things from home.” He sat on the bed with her and placed his hand against her cheek, taking a long look at her.

“Brian,” she whispered, “I’ve never felt like this with anyone else. I wish you didn’t have to go,” she repeated.

“I know, and I’ve never felt this way with anyone else, either. I promise, I’ll be back soon,” he told her. He kissed her again and left.

Sienna heard the door shut and lay awake until the sun shone brightly and her alarm began to ring. Then, she rose and faced the day.

With both Brian in Denver and Olivia on her honeymoon, Sienna didn’t know what to do with her spare time. Marlena and Faith had become good friends and offered Sienna to join them for dinners, movies, and anything they were doing. Because being with them made Sienna feel impossibly old, she thanked them politely and excused herself. That led to moping around her home and talking to Brian on the phone as often as was possible.

One day, her Uncle Jacob, her mother’s youngest brother and Faith’s father, asked her to join his family for dinner. She did, reluctantly, but ended up enjoying being with her family. After dinner, Faith went out for dessert with Marlena, and Sienna spent time talking to her cousin Derek about his plans for college. When he left to study for finals, Sienna found herself drinking coffee with her aunt and uncle.

“So, you’ve been seeing Brian Littrell for nearly a year now, huh?” Aunt Lucy asked her. “That’s an impressive amount of time.”

Sienna shrugged. “Not so impressive. You and uncle Jacob have been together for twenty five years.”

“Yes, we have,” Jacob grinned. “But what your aunt is too subtly trying to ask you is what are your feelings for him? You’re nearly twenty-seven years old, honey. Are you thinking about any further commitment?”

Sienna sighed. “I don’t know. Really, I can’t tell you if we’re going to make any further commitment. I can tell you that we both enjoy spending time with one another, and he really didn’t want to leave for over a month to record for his two albums. I,” she paused. “I’m in love with him. I’m in love with him,” she repeated. “I don’t know what his feelings are, but I wish I knew,” she whispered.

“Oh, honey,” Lucy put her arms around her niece. “I’m so happy for you, and, of course, he must love you back. How could he not? Is something lacking in you?” she asked Sienna, who shook her head. “Men always take a bit more time to realize their feelings.” She ignored her husband’s protest. “It took Jacob fifteen months before he admitted it. Besides, I’ve seen the way Brian looks at you. He cares about you more than just a casual relationship,” she assured Sienna.

“I hope so,” Sienna murmured. “I sure hope so.”

***

When Olivia and Howie returned from their honeymoon two weeks after their wedding, Liv called Sienna and nearly burst her eardrums with her excitement over the new house. So, Sienna went over and admired the two-story, seven thousand square foot home with the rest of the ten acre property. The second she stepped into the home, she knew it was loved. Brian had been right, she thought. Howie did know his wife and had bought a home that made her happy. Especially the kitchen.

Life went mostly back to normal after their return, except that Brian was still not home. Sienna spent her time organizing the new section of her store. She had decided to cultivate flowers and other plants, place them in recyclable holders, and sell them. Customers would then be able to take them home and replant them. She had turned one corner of her shop into a sort of mini-nursery. Since that area of the shop was generating a lot of income, she figured it had been a good idea.

She had also begun ordering and selling gardening tools, fertilizers, and garden ornaments. Little wind chimes hung and tinkled when customers played with them, while brass pots and figurines sat in another corner.

***

In early July, Brian called to apologize and say that the Boys needed to be in Sweden to record with Max Martin for the next three weeks. Martin was very busy, and this was the only time he could squeeze them in. Sienna understood, though she wished he didn’t have to. She and Liv ended up commiserating together, though, which made her feel better.

Three days before her birthday, as she worked behind the register while Marlena helped customers in the nursery section, Sienna stretched and tried to wake herself up. Since she had gotten out of bed that morning, she had felt tired, achy, and her stomach had been in knots. She didn’t understand why she felt sick, but she made sure to smile at everyone to cover up her illness.

Liv walked into the shop before heading to work and, calling out a hello to Marlena, headed to the register to see Sienna.

“Hey, what’s up?” she said to Sienna.

Sienna sighed and sat in a chair behind the counter. “I’ve been feeling so tired today. My stomach feels like I ate something wrong, but I don’t know what it could possibly be,” she told Liv.

“Did my cooking make you sick?” Liv worried, remembering that Sienna had had dinner at her house last night.

Sienna shook her head. “I don’t think so. It’s just…” she broke off and doubled over as she felt pain stab through her.

Liv was around the counter in an instant. “What’s wrong? Sienna, where does it hurt?”

But she could barely speak from the pain radiating through her. It felt like her abdomen was on fire and was being pulled apart with thousands of tiny knives. When she heard Liv gasp and yell for Marlena to call 911, Sienna opened her eyes and saw the blood darken her baby blue skirt and run down her legs to pool on the floor.

Liv crouched in front of her. “Sienna. Sienna, look at me.” When she did, Liv squeezed her hand. “Sienna, could you possibly be pregnant?”

The shock of the question nearly cut through the pain, and, because she really didn’t know, Sienna shook her head. Before Liv could say anything else, a buzzing filled her ears and the world went dark.

***

“I told you she was bad news, man,” AJ told Nick. “Paris is a party girl. You can see it when you look at her. But, no, you went and got yourself tattooed with her name.”

Brian shook his head. “Sorry, Nick, but I agree with AJ. The whole tattoo deal spells death for a relationship. I mean look at all those people who got their partner’s name tattooed on themselves. Within days, they broke up. What do you plan on doing with that tattoo now?” he asked, gesturing towards Nick’s wrist where “Paris” was scripted.

Nick shrugged. “I don’t know. Man, I thought it might work, but I guess not. I guess not all relationships are meant to work, huh?”

“Tough luck, kid,” AJ told him. When he noticed Max waving at them and pointing to Nick, he nudged Nick. “Max wants you in there. Guess it’s your turn,” he added when Kevin stepped out of the recording booth, finished recording his part of “Climbing the Walls”.

Kevin held the door open for Nick, then sat down with the rest of them. “What’s wrong with him?” he asked, gesturing towards Nick.

“Paris dumped him,” Howie answered. “Guess we’ll be seeing that on the tabloids, now.”

Brian shrugged. “It comes with the celebrity territory. Sienna wasn’t so thrilled about finding herself in Star. They wrote about how she had a secret love child with a past boyfriend and was trying to foist it off on me. They had a picture with her and a kid, too. Turns out the picture was taken when she was watching her cousin’s son.” He shook his head. “Oh well. I have to go call her, now. See if she got the birthday present I sent her.”

He walked down the hallway and stepped into an empty practice room. Pulling his cell phone out, he dialed her number and waited.

“Hello?” Sienna answered the phone in a wavering voice.

Brian smiled. “Sienna, baby, Happy Birthday! Did you get the present I sent?”

She took a breath and controlled her voice. “I like the necklace,” she told him. “Although, I really didn’t need it. You shouldn’t have bought one with emeralds on it.”

“I really did. It reminded me of your eyes, so I bought it,” he told her.

Sienna realized that she really couldn’t control her voice or the sobs that were building up in her throat. “Brian,” she whispered. “I have to tell you something.”

Brian frowned, wondering why she was whispering. “Okay, tell me. Is it something bad? Are you all right?”

“I-I was working two days ago and had a really horrible stomachache. Brian, I had a miscarriage,” she choked out.

He froze, the phone still at his ear. “A miscarriage?” he repeated numbly. How could she have been pregnant? He wondered. Then remembered that they hadn’t used protection that night. “Sienna. Are you okay?”

“It was bad,” she managed to say. “I just came home from the hospital this morning.”

He glanced at his watch and calculated that she had been home for a few hours. “Sienna, I’m coming back,” he decided.

“Brian, I didn’t know,” she began sobbing. “I didn’t know I was pregnant. If I had, I would’ve done something better. I didn’t know,” she moaned.

Brian felt his heart break as he listened to her weeping. “It’s okay,” he tried to soothe her. “It’s all right. I’m going to be there as soon as I can,” he promised her.

“Brian,” she stopped him before he hung up. “Hurry back,” she whispered. “I love you.”

Brian absorbed the elation that broke away some of the pain he felt. Unable to say anything, he hung up.

Hurrying back to the others, he grabbed his coat. Then, he stopped and buried his face in his hands.

“Brian?” Kevin was up in an instant with his arm around Brian’s shoulders. “Hey, cuz, is everything okay?”

Brian shook his head and looked up at his closest friends with tears shining in his eyes. “Sienna had a miscarriage,” he managed. “She didn’t know she was pregnant, and now she’s not.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going home. I’m sorry guys, tell Max I’ll record my part for “I Still…” in L.A. I need to go home to be with Sienna.”

AJ nodded. “I don’t know why you’re still here, pal. Go,” he added, nudging Brian out the door.

When Brian had gone, Nick stepped out of the booth and looked around. “Where’s Brian?”

Kevin sighed. “Brian called home and found out that Sienna miscarried their baby. He went home.”

“Holy God,” Nick whispered and sat in a chair. “Is Si okay?”

Howie shrugged. “I don’t know, he didn’t say. Let’s pray that she is.”

***

Brian pulled into Sienna’s driveway and tried to compose himself before getting out of the car. If he was upset, he wouldn’t be able to be strong for her. He had managed to catch the first flight to New York and, from there, the next flight down to Louisville. He’d had Harry pick him up and drive him home. At home, he had indulged in a good cry, then he’d hopped into his car and made it to Sienna’s house.

When he rang the doorbell, Liv opened it and smiled in relief when she saw him. “Brian,” she hugged him. “I’m glad you’re here. She needs you. She’s upstairs, in bed. She has to be in bed for the next two days. I’ll be downstairs if she needs anything.”

“How long have you been here?” he asked her.

Liv shrugged. “Since she came home from the hospital.”

Brian lifted his brows. “Go home, sleep. I’ll take care of her.” Liv nodded and watched him bolt up the stairs.

When Brian entered her bedroom, he thought Sienna was sleeping. She was curled under a blanket. The shades were down, which kept any sunlight out. He tiptoed towards the bed and sat down next to her.

“Oh, baby,” he whispered as he brushed a hand gently over her hair. She looked more exhausted than he had ever seen her. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her skin was so pale it was nearly transparent. She woke when his hand touched her hair.

“Brian,” she whispered. “Thank God. Thank God you’re here.”

He buried his face in her hair, and they both wept for the child they’d created, the child neither one had known existed until it was gone. After a while, Brian kicked off his shoes and, crawling into the bed with her, put his arms around her.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he murmured.

She turned into him and placed her hand against his heart. “You’re here, now. I love you,” she whispered.

His hold on her tightened. “I wasn’t sure if I had heard you right,” he managed to say. “I’ve been waiting to hear that for over a year.”

“What?” she looked up at him, hazel eyes surprised.

He smiled. “I’ve been in love with you for so long,” he told her. “I thought I’d never hear you say those words.”

“Tell me again,” she asked him.

Brian framed her face with his hands. “I love you, Sienna.” He kissed her forehead. “I love you.” His lips found hers, and he sank into the kiss.

Sienna sighed and laid her head against his chest. “I figured out I was in love with you on Christmas Eve. I was holding Michelle and dreaming of what my kids would look like. When I realized that I imagined them with your features without meaning to, I knew I was in love with you. And, now, I lost our baby,” she began to weep silently again.

Brian held her close and stroked her back. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “I don’t think there was anything anyone could have done to prevent the miscarriage. What did the doctors say?”

Sienna sniffled. “They said it could have been anything from too much stress to me not being ready to carry the baby. It all comes down to me not being fit to be a mother,” she told him.

“No,” Brian disagreed. “I think you’ll make a wonderful mother. It just wasn’t our time yet. When God really wants us to have those children, we will.”

She shivered, and Brian held her closer. “You should sleep,” he said gently.

“Will you stay with me?” she asked him.

Brian nodded. “I couldn’t go anywhere else,” he promised her.

The following day, while Sienna slept, Liv told him that she had lost a lot of blood, so she would be weak for a few days. A lot of people had found out that Sienna had had to be taken to the hospital, including Brian’s family. Several people had called to find out what was going on, but no one knew anything.

“Has the media called?” Brian asked her.

Liv sighed. “Yes, yes, several people from different television shows and magazines have called. I kept hanging up. Are you going to have to give a statement?”

Brian shrugged. “I really don’t know. If I can avoid it, I will. I don’t want the world to know our heartache. I don’t want Sienna hurting anymore from people constantly consoling her when she goes back to work. I guess I’ll have to call my manager and find out.”

Johnny ended up calling Brian a few hours later to find out what was going on. None of the other guys had told him anything. Brian related what happened quickly and nearly begged Johnny to make it so that neither Brian nor Sienna would have to reveal what had happened.

“We can arrange something,” Johnny told him. “Just give a statement saying Sienna was ill because of appendicitis. I’ll call the hospital and tell them what’s going on. I’m really sorry, Brian,” he added and hung up.

So, the official statement was that Sienna had had severe appendicitis. If there were still some people that doubted it, they didn’t say anything.

Brian went to see his family later that day, leaving Sienna with Liv and promising her that he’d be back soon.

The instant she opened the door, Jackie asked Brian what had happened with Sienna. She had long since accepted that Sienna was going to be a part of Brian’s life and had warmed to the idea mostly because she did like Sienna.

Brian sat on the couch across from his parents and staring down at his hands, told them what had happened. When he finished, his parents were quiet. He looked up at them and saw his mother dabbing tears from her eyes.

“Oh, Brian, I’m so sorry,” Jackie said. “Poor Sienna, she must be going through hell. My goodness, your child would have been beautiful.”

Brian sighed. “It doesn’t matter now, Mom. It’s gone, and not even the doctors really know why. We figure it was just God’s way of telling us that it wasn’t time for us to have a child yet.”

“Of course not,” Harold said, briskly. “You’re both busy individuals, and you’re not married, either. Do you even know how she feels about you? I’m not saying you don’t deserve a child, kiddo, but I don’t think you’re at the stage in your relationship to have one.”

Brian nodded. “No, I don’t think we are, either.” Though the idea had tremendous appeal to both Sienna and him. “She loves me and I love her, too. I guess it took something like this to make us tell each other how we really feel. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, and she was afraid I didn’t love her.”

Jackie smiled. “And now you know. How foolish young people are,” she said to Harold. “Tell Sienna we hope she feels better soon, and, if she feels up to it, we can drop by tomorrow to see her.”

Brian nodded and hugged both his parents. On the drive back, he thought again of how lucky a child he and Sienna could have would be. Loving grandparents, family, and, of course, he and Sienna. They would have loved that child, Brian knew. Sighing, he realized that his father was right. They weren’t ready, yet. At least not until they were married. And that, Brian realized, what was he really wanted. He wanted Sienna, needed her, to be his wife. Somehow, he needed her more than he had ever needed Leighanne. He couldn’t imagine life without her and didn’t want to because it was an unnerving idea.

He couldn’t just ask her, now, either, Brian knew. It had taken them both time to tell each other they loved. It would take a little more time to warm up to the idea of marriage. But, he knew that no one else would do anymore.

When he reached her house and she smiled at him when he walked into the room, he knew she was it. The one. The only.

After a lot of pleading, begging, and near groveling, Brian had convinced Sienna to spend the month of September with him and the guys while they recorded. The rest of July and August had passed quickly. Sienna had been up and about in no time with her usual energy. They had waited to make love again, but, in the end, need won out over caution.

In the middle of August, Brian had flown to Nashville and recorded several more songs for his album and realized that he was nearly finished with it. Provident planned on releasing it in the spring, and Brian agreed. He needed his work out where people could hear it.

Now, he was back with the other guys and had brought Sienna with him. Kristin and Bridget were there, too, and, though she had felt envious and a little weepy on seeing Kevin and Kristin with their daughter, she had enjoyed playing with the baby, too.

During breaks, they would turn music on and sit around talking, eating, or, on one memorable occasion, dancing. AJ shoved a soundtrack from a recent movie in the stereo system and turned it up. When the first song played, Brian had grabbed Sienna and rumbaed around the room. He lip-synched the song while she danced to it. Bridget had sat up and clapped her hands, so Brian picked her up and whirled her around the room with them. Seeing Brian holding the baby and looking so happy, Sienna had tried to squash the tears that rose.

Afterwards, she slipped out of the room and made it to the bathroom before the tears slipped down her cheeks.

“Sienna?” Kristin stepped in to the bathroom. “Are you okay?”

Not bothering to hide the tears, Sienna gave her a weak, watery smile. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying. It’s just, when I saw him holding Bridget, he looked so happy. He wants to be a father,” she whispered. “We were so close without even knowing it. Then I ruined it.”

Kristin put her arm around Sienna’s shoulders. “Don’t blame yourself, Si. You didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t meant to have that baby yet. It doesn’t mean you won’t have one later.”

Sienna nodded. “I know, I know that. But, sometimes, it still hits me, you know?”

Kristin nodded. “Kevin and I tried for awhile before we managed it. Every time we failed, it broke our hearts. Eventually, we gave up, then Bridget came along when we weren’t even expecting it. Don’t give up hope,” she advised Sienna. “Sometimes, things happen for a reason. And, sometimes, you don’t even have to try.”

Sienna repeated Kristin’s words over and over in her head. It wasn’t that she was desperate for a child. It was that the need had been awakened in her, and she wanted to make Brian happy. Though she knew he was happy without a child, too. He loved her and, each time she told him she loved him, it made him happier.

In October, she returned to the shop and realized that she had put too much of the weight of the shop on Marlena’s shoulders. Marlena insisted that she had been fine, that Sienna had taught her a lot about managing a place. As Sienna watched her work, she realized that Marlena did indeed know what she was doing. Sienna’s Flowers had boomed during September, and Marlena had managed it without a hitch. Sienna decided to give her a raise, and, when she told Marlena why, the young woman blushed and said that she was only doing what she thought was expected of her. Sienna had given her the raise anyway.

Brian was home for Thanksgiving, and they spent every day and night together. The Littrells and Sienna’s aunts and uncles had become friends over the past months and decided on a joint Thanksgiving dinner. Afterwards, Brian and Sienna had snuck off to spend time alone. They were no longer cautious about protection, and each secretly hoped for a child.

After Thanksgiving, the Backstreet Boys headed off on a testing tour in Asia. They played a few of their songs from the new album, and the reaction they received encouraged them. They had the best fans in the world and had had it proved to them a thousand times over. Kevin played the song he had written in memory of his father, and the fans had loved it. It was a pretty good bet, they all agreed, that their album might just make it in the new age of music.

***

The day before Christmas Eve, Brian arrived home. He had promised Sienna that he would be home on Christmas Eve, but he had decided to surprise her by coming home early. He pulled into her driveway and noticed the pretty lights she had decorated with. He wondered if she might be sleeping because it was nearly midnight.

Not wanting to wake her, he used his own key and opened the door. When he stepped in, her scent hit him. It made him feel like he was coming home, and he patted his pocket. He had bought her a ring and planned on asking her to marry him the following night. Imagining the look of surprise on her face, he walked through the kitchen and into the den. He froze in his tracks.

Sienna was asleep on the couch under a blanket, but she wasn’t alone. A dark-haired man slept beside her, squeezed onto the couch. Sienna’s head rested against him, and the man’s arm curled around her. It was such an intimate pose, and Brian felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Not bothering to wake either of them, he left the house, locking the door quietly behind him.

Sitting in his car, he called Nick.

“Hey man,” Nick greeted him. “Did you get home yet? Surprise Si?”

“No,” Brian replied tersely. “I need you to do me a favor, Nick. I’m taking the next flight to L.A. It’s going to get there at six in the morning. Can you pick me up?”

“Sure, but why? Don’t you want to be home, Bri?” Nick asked, puzzled.

Brian sighed. “Don’t ask any questions, Nick. Please. Just tell me if you can pick me up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick promised. “Six in the morning, I’ll be there. But you’ll have to tell me what’s going on, eventually.”

“I will. See you in the morning,” Brian said and hung up.

When he got to the airport, he checked in and paid for his ticket. His flight wouldn’t be boarding for another hour, so Brian stopped by a cell phone vendor and exchanged his phone for another one with a different number. Then, he boarded his plane and tried to sleep without the images of Sienna with another man burning in his mind.

Nick picked him up at the airport and didn’t ask any questions until they were sitting in his kitchen drinking coffee.

“What’s going on, Brian?”

Brian drank the coffee down like it was a shot. “I went to Sienna’s and found her asleep. With another man.”

Nick shook his head. “I don’t believe it, Brian. If it was another woman, maybe I’d believe it. But this is Si we’re talking about. She couldn’t have cheated on you because she really, genuinely loves you.”

“Yeah, well that’s what I thought, too,” Brian shot back. “Obviously, I was wrong a second time. How stupid could I be?” he muttered. “Two women. Two women have obviously found me lacking enough that they found other men.”

“Good morning,” BJ Carter said, walking into the room. Then she stopped. “Brian Littrell? What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be home?”

Brian smiled grimly. “Yeah, well, I’m here. How are you, Bobbie Jean?”

She sat at the table and regarded him closely. “Okay, what’s wrong? You can tell BJ. Really, I’m reformed and now helping others. Come on, you can tell me.”

Because her words hit too close to the ones Sienna had once said to him when he had been upset about Leighanne, Brian laid his head on the table and wept.

Later, Nick told BJ to not ask Brian what was going on because it was a painful subject.

“Let’s try and cheer him up, instead. Do something in the spirit of Christmas, you know?” Nick suggested

“Sure,” BJ had agreed and come up with a slew of ideas.

***

Sienna didn’t know where he could possibly be. Brian’s flight had been due in to Lexington’s airport at two that afternoon, and it was now five o’clock with no sign of Brian. She had called the airport only to find out that the flight had been on time.

When she called his cell phone, there was a beeping noise, and she was told that the number she had dialed was no longer available. Sienna frowned at the phone. Not available? Had Brian changed his number and not told her?

She called Jackie and Harold, but, since they were expecting Sienna and Brian for dinner at seven, they didn’t know where Brian was, either. When Jackie had become worried, Sienna had told her that she would just call Nick or one of the other guys. Perhaps, they hadn’t made it home, either.

When Liv called to say that Howie was home, Sienna began to worry. AJ told her that he didn’t know where Brian was if he wasn’t with her. Kevin said he hadn’t heard from Brian since they had left the airport in Los Angeles. When she called Nick, he had coldly told her that Brian should be at home and had hung up. Sienna frowned at Nick’s attitude, then shrugged it off.

Half an hour later, though, Jackie called her to say that they weren’t going to be having dinner after all. She had heard from Brian, and he didn’t plan on returning to Lexington for the foreseeable future. When Sienna had asked her where he was and if she could have his phone number, Jackie had hung up.

***

Nick worried about Brian and what he would eventually do to himself in his heartbreak. Each night, Brian would sit out on the back porch of Nick’s home and brood. Once, Nick had tried to talk to him, but Brian had gotten angry and yelled at him. Since then, Nick had decided to leave Brian alone. On New Year’s, Nick came home at three in the morning to find Brian asleep on the back porch swing. A slew of beer bottles littered the space beneath the swing. Nick knew that he would have to say something to Brian soon because he couldn’t let Brian drink his heartache away. Hadn’t he and AJ learned that themselves?

Two days later, Brian knocked on Nick’s door at two in the morning and asked to talk to him.

“I’m sorry I’ve been worrying you,” Brian apologized. “I shouldn’t have gotten drunk on New Year’s. It wasn’t the smartest thing to do, I know. It’s just I can’t understand what I’ve done wrong that the two women I’ve ever cared about have both found it necessary to find other men. I didn’t hurt this badly after Leighanne left. This hurts worse,” he whispered.

Nick put his arm around Brian’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, man. But, Brian, why does this hurt more?”

Brian rubbed his eyes wearily. “I realized that I hadn’t been waiting for Leighanne, I had been waiting for Sienna. I loved her more than I thought it was possible to love anyone. Damn it, I still love her. I can’t get rid of it. I don’t know if I even want to, even knowing that she easily betrayed me. God, it hurts so bad,” he murmured.

Nick patted his shoulder. “It’ll get better, Bri. Maybe, after a while, you should talk to her. Don’t waste two years hurting again. Just talk to her, resolve everything. That way, you can move on without having any unanswered questions, you know?”

Brian shrugged. “I can’t think about seeing her again. Not yet. Not when I still need her so badly. Isn’t that crazy?” he asked Nick. “That, knowing she cheated on me, I still need her more than anything?”

Nick didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say.

***

The next few weeks passed in a blur of confusion. When Sienna managed to get a hold of any of the guys, they would cut the conversation off and say they had to go. Howie refused to tell Liv why Brian had suddenly let go of Sienna, so Sienna couldn’t find anything out from that end, either. The Littrells had stopped answering their phones or returning her messages when she called them, and she could not understand what she had done. Why had Brian cut her off so suddenly? He hadn’t even given her a reason.

The only things keeping her sane were the shop, Liv, her family, and her cousin Shane, who had moved to Lexington from Ireland. He had moved to Ireland nearly ten years before to work there and had decided to move back. He was currently living with Sienna because she had the room and his parents, Sienna’s mother’s older brother and sister-in-law, refused to coddle their twenty-eight year old child. When Sienna wept, he held her and offered to find Brian and beat him up. She loved him for simply being there and was even more thrilled when he began to date Marlena. As her own world crumbled around her, Sienna found momentary peace watching Marlena and Shane fall for each other.

In February, Sienna came down with the flu, but, when Liv made her go to the doctor, she was told that she was pregnant. The news filled her with a dulled joy. What was the point, Sienna wondered, in being pregnant when the man she loved would never come back to see their child with her?

One day, after work, she sat alone in front of the television. Shane was out with Marlena, while Liv was still at work. As she flipped through the channels, she saw Brian’s face and turned the volume up.

“Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell seems to have broken up with his hometown girlfriend, Sienna McKinnon. He was spotted at the People’s Choice Awards with the lovely Kelly Monaco, who plays the stunning Samantha McCall on ABC’s General Hospital. The two were spotted holding hands, and, at one point, Kelly kissed Brian’s cheek. Their spokespeople have issued no statement so far. The Backstreet Boys will be…”

Sienna no longer heard the anchor but stared at the screen. A picture of a happy-looking Brian holding Kelly Monaco’s hand and leaning down to say something in her ear flashed on screen. This picture was followed by another where Brian was laughing as Kelly kissed his cheek.

She placed a hand protectively over her belly while trying to swallow the tears that she knew would come soon. “Don’t worry, honey,” she murmured to her child. “If daddy wants to leave us for no reason and go off with other women, that’s fine. We don’t need him anyway.”

But she did, Sienna realized. She desperately needed Brian as February turned to March. She knew the Boys were doing a show in Lexington, but she also knew that she would never be able to sit through it, so she didn’t go. It would have been too painful, and she didn’t know if loud music would have any effect on the baby.

***

“This is fucking ridiculous,” AJ muttered as he watched Brian talk on the phone with Kelly. Of course it was Kelly. Brian refused to talk about any other woman but Kelly. Not that there was anything wrong with her because she was as sweet as they came. Granted she had been a Playboy foldout model, but that was in the past. The problem was that he knew Sienna was suffering. AJ had listened to what Brian had related to them all about walking in on, but, after listening to Sienna’s tearful begging, AJ wondered if something was amiss.

He felt terrible because he had hung up on her, putting his friendship with Brian over hers. He realized he couldn’t take it anymore and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Sienna answered.

“Sienna? It’s AJ, sweetie. How are you?” he tried to say lightly.

He heard her sigh. “I’ll be fine. Why are you calling, AJ?” she asked tightly.

“I’m sorry, Si. I’m sorry for hanging up on you before. It’s just, I thought it best to take Brian’s side and all,” he began.

“Brian’s side in what?” she demanded. “I’ve been cut off by nearly everyone, AJ. But no one will tell me what I did wrong! How can I fix what I don’t know I did?”

AJ sighed. “I’m sorry, Sienna, but that’s something only Brian can tell you if you don’t already know.”

“AJ,” her voice wavered. “I need to talk to him, desperately. There’s more to whatever happened than just the two of us.”

“What are you talking about?” AJ asked her.

“I’m pregnant. About five months,” she told him and his jaw dropped.

“Oh, my god,” he murmured, then remembering Brian’s story, he asked, “It’s Brian’s baby, right?”

“Well, of course it is,” she answered, surprised. “Who else’s could it possibly be? Oh, my god,” she said, slowly. “Oh, my god, he thinks I cheated on him. Am I right, AJ? Is that why everyone is staying away from me like I’m some scarlet woman? Because he thinks I cheated on him?” Her voice rose hysterically.

“Sienna, calm down,” he told her. “It can’t be good for the baby if you stress yourself out. I can’t tell you anything definitive,” he added. “Maybe you should try and find out from someone else.”

“Who?” Sienna nearly wept from the unfairness of it all. Then, she had an idea.

Jackie opened the door when the doorbell rang and stared, surprised, at Sienna, who stood on her porch.

“I’m sorry,” Jackie said politely. “I’m a bit busy right now, so if you’d…”

“I need to know the truth, Jackie,” Sienna said firmly. “I’ve had enough of beating around the bush and people avoiding me like I’m the plague. I need to know why Brian thinks I cheated on him.”

Jackie was taken aback. “Well,” she said. “I suppose we’ll have to sit down if you want to know why my son left you. Although I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out, yourself.”

She led Sienna into the kitchen and sat at the table. Sienna pulled the sweatshirt she wore a little more to hide the bulge of her belly and sat. Her feet had begun to swell, and staying on them for longer than twenty minutes was becoming impossible. Her belly was too big to be a five month old fetus, and she had a feeling that her baby was actually two babies. She had kept that suspicion to herself, and, now, she smiled at her children’s grandmother.

“So, please tell me what happened to make Brian think that I betrayed him,” she asked Jackie.

As Jackie related the story her son had told her of coming home a day early and walking in on Sienna sleeping with a dark-haired man on her sofa, realization dawned on Sienna.

“Shane,” she whispered.

Jackie’s brows shot up. “Excuse me?”

“Shane,” Sienna repeated. “My cousin, Shane, who’s living with me currently was spending that night at my house. Ever since we were babies, our mothers put us into the same cribs, and we learned to curl up against each other for comfort. It’s a habit that’s continued on always, and that’s what Brian must have walked in on.”

“Your cousin lives with you?” Jackie wondered.

Sienna nodded. “He’s a freelance photographer, and he’s currently dating my employee, Marlena.”

Jackie remembered. “Of course, I’ve seen him several times. That’s the man Brian thought you were with? Oh, Sienna, I’m so sorry. For both you and my son.”

Sienna shook her head. “It’s okay, I’m just glad to know the truth. I need to find him, soon, though. I don’t have his number, and I don’t think I can get a ticket to one of their concerts.”

“I have a ticket for their Never Gone Soundcheck in New York on June fourteenth,” Jackie offered her. “Brian sent it down a few weeks ago. You take it, honey, and go see him. I can’t say anything to him. It’ll have to come from you.”

Sienna nodded and took a deep breath. “There’s one other thing, Jackie.”

Jackie turned back to her. “Oh?”

“I’m five months pregnant,” Sienna told her and watched Jackie’s expression go from surprise to shock to delight. She hugged Sienna carefully, and then they both sat down to weep.

***

Kelly Monaco turned to look at Brian as he sat backstage after a show in Los Angeles at the beginning of May. He sipped from a bottle of water with his eyes closed. She wondered what he was thinking about, and then she sat on the couch opposite from him.

Brian opened his eyes and smiled at her. “I’m glad you came tonight,” he told her. “What’d you think?”

Kelly grinned. “I always thought boy bands had no talent, but I have to say the five of you surprised me. It was amazing, really. Especially “I Still…”” she added.

“Yeah,” Brian gave her a small smile. “It’s my favorite song off the new album.”

Kelly sighed and knew she’d have to ask him sooner or later. “Brian? Will you tell me what happened between you and Sienna? I mean, you love her still, but you refuse to go back to her. Why? What happened?”

Brian squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them, they were clouded. “I found her with someone else,” he murmured. “I still can’t believe it, but there they were, on the couch.”

“Oh, Brian,” Kelly murmured. “I’m so sorry. Are you sure it was really what you think? I mean, I heard AJ tell Kevin that she really loves you, so there’s no way she could have done that. Is that possible?”

Brian sighed. “Kelly, I really don’t want to think about her or anything right now. It’s going to ruin this good mood I have.”

She nodded. “All right, then. We won’t talk about it, but I don’t like that everyone thinks we’re dating. We’re not,” she said firmly.

Brian agreed. “I know we’re not and so do you. So what if they interpret friendship for something else?” He smiled at her. “I’m really glad we met, Kelly. You’ve been one of the few things that’s kept me sane in the last couple months.”

“No problem, Brian. I like you. Why wouldn’t I be friends with you and help you out?” She squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

They had met at an after party for the Billboard Music Awards when he had bumped into her, causing her to spill the martini she had all over him. She had apologized profusely while trying to help him clean up, but he had laughed it off, saying that at least he had gotten to meet a pretty woman.

“You don’t know who I am?” she asked him, surprised.

He had shaken his head. “I’m sorry, I’m Brian Littrell—the Backstreet Boys,” he added.

She nodded. “I know, I know who you are. I’m Kelly Monaco,” she held out a hand. “I act on General Hospital.”

“Oh, okay,” Brian grinned. “Sorry, I’ve been out of the whole celebrity loop for a while. It’s nice to meet you, Kelly.”

“Likewise,” she said with a smile.

From then on, he had called her once a week. She knew that he had been in love with Sienna and would have proposed to her over Christmas. However, when she had spoken to him after New Year’s, she had been shocked to find out that they were no longer together. He had begun to rely on her more than anyone else because she hadn’t met Sienna and didn’t know what was really going on. She sympathized with him but always added a grain of salt, which Brian appreciated.

She knew he was still in love with Sienna and was still trying to deny it to himself. She understood the need to do so, but, after talking to AJ, she knew that there had to be more to the incident than Brian knew.

“I think it’s time you talked to Sienna, though,” she told him, now.

He sat up and looked at her, surprised. “Why? Obviously, she didn’t need me if she was with another man. Why should I give her the time of day?”

Kelly sighed. “Because you still love her. If you want to be able to move on, you have to face that, have your questions answered, and then let it go. The only way to do all that is to see Sienna.”

Brian shook his head. “I don’t think I’m ready yet,” he told her.

Kelly lifted a brow. “Bri, it’s May. You’ve been stewing since the end of December. I think it’s past time you went and saw her.”

“Maybe,” Brian murmured. “But there’s no time, right now. We’ve got a full line up of shows, appearances, and other things to do before Never Gone comes out. There’s only a month until then, you know.”

Kelly sighed. “Okay, Brian. But you’ll have to do it sometime.”

***

Sienna stood on the sidewalk and waited anxiously for the doors to the Soundcheck party to open. The June heat in New York was making her swollen limbs ache, and the babies were kicking happily. She adjusted her sunglasses and tried to ignore the frowns and noises of recognition the fans around her made when they realized who she was. Before any of them could approach her, the doors opened, and everyone rushed inside.

Inside, Sienna discovered that there were no chairs or places to sit. Everyone would be standing, except for the five chairs she saw on stage. One of the technical crew asked her if she needed a chair and produced one for her to sit on in the back. Sienna thanked them profusely then waited for the show to start.

When the guys walked on to the stage, Sienna felt a fist squeeze her heart at the sight of Brian. He had lost weight but looked happy. If nothing else, Sienna figured that she should probably thank Kelly Monaco for keeping him happy. As they played each song from their album, each man answered questions and talked about their feelings on each song.

After “Never Gone” had played, Kevin had explained that the song meant something to each of them because AJ had lost his grandmother, Howie his sister, and so on. He didn’t mention Brian, and Sienna saw her opening.

Kevin glanced around at the audience of fans and saw a hand up in the back of the room.

“In the back,” he called. “What’s your name and question, please?”

Sienna took a deep breath and spoke into the microphone that was handed to her. “Hi, my name is Sienna, and I’d like to say first that your album is amazing and very versatile. Congratulations guys.”

All five men had realized who was speaking, and Nick was the first to recover from the shock. He grinned at her, even as the rest of the audience turned to get a better look at the woman they realized was Brian’s ex. “Thanks, Si,” Nick said, smiling. “So, what’s your question?”

“My question is for Brian,” she began, causing Brian to look at her.

He didn’t know if it was the distance or that she had simply become more beautiful in the last six months, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her hair had been chopped off to her shoulders, and she seemed to glow. Brian hated himself for realizing that he truly hadn’t stopped loving her, and he hated her for not being less incredible and intriguing than she had once been.

“What’s your question?” he asked, controlling his voice.

“Well, we all heard that “Never Gone,” the song, is important for the other four guys because they each have lost someone they loved very much. What’s your connection to it, Brian?” she asked, keeping her eyes steady on his.

“Well, I lost someone I love, too,” he said. “I was very much in love with a very special woman, but things didn’t work out. Every time I sing “Never Gone” and “I Still…” it reminds me of her. Though we’re no longer together, I know I’ll never forget her,” he finished, looking straight at her.

Sienna controlled her breathing. “Thank you,” she said and handed the microphone to a techie.

Kevin looked over at Brian then out at the audience. “I think we can take one last question,” he began and smiled at the hands that shot up.

When all was said and done, the Backstreet Boys thanked the fans that had come to the Soundcheck and left the stage. Sienna waited until everyone else had left and returned the chair to the crew that were beginning to clean up. As she turned to leave, a hand grabbed her elbow.

AJ smiled at her. “Way to go, champ,” he said. “I think you really shocked him. I hope you’re not leaving yet,” he added. “You have to finish what you started.”

Sienna shook her head. “I don’t think so, AJ. I don’t think I can handle anymore, right now.”

He glanced down at her belly and squeezed her hand. “How are you feeling? You look ready to pop that kid out,” he observed.

“Actually, I think it’s two babies,” Sienna told him and watched his jaw drop. “I’m too big at seven months to be carrying just one baby. Plus, I definitely feel two heads and four feet.”

“Wow,” AJ said, in awe. “Let’s get you backstage and into a chair, shall we?”

Before Sienna could protest, he had propelled her through a door and into a room where Kevin stood talking to Johnny and Kenneth in one corner, Nick and Howie were on their separate laptops, and Brian was on the phone. When he saw them come in, the expression in his eyes flickered. Sienna didn’t know if it was disgust or indifference, but she knew she’d have to face him now.

“Si!” Nick called excitedly and hurried over to see her. “Jesus,” he whispered awed. “I guess AJ really wasn’t kidding when he said you were expecting.”

“I guess not,” Sienna smiled and reached out to hug him. “Congratulations on the album, pal.”

Howie came over and grinned at her. “Liv didn’t tell me you were coming up. It was quite a surprise to hear your voice, you know.”

“I’ll bet,” Sienna said faintly then winced a little at the next kick.

“Are you okay?” Howie asked concerned.

“Yeah, no, it’s just being pregnant,” she told him, but he brought over a chair and helped her into it. “Thanks,” she told him, grateful.

“Can I touch it?” Nick asked, still in awe.

AJ let out a disgusted sound. “It’s not like a science experiment, Nicky. She’s pregnant, not diseased.”

Sienna gave him a mild look then brought Nick’s hand to rest on her belly. “This is the kicker baby,” she told him. “I call him, or her, the Punter.”

When the baby kicked again, Nick grinned. “It’s so awesome! I think this one’s going to be a football player.”

“Or a soccer player,” Sienna suggested. “The other one’s quiet and only kicks once in a while. It’s safe to say the Punter’s a Type A personality, overshadowing its sibling.”

“I can’t believe that’s twins in there,” AJ told her. “It’s crazy.”

“Excuse me, gentlemen,” a voice behind Sienna interrupted them. “Is it possible that I could talk to Sienna for a bit? Privately.”

Nick shrugged. “Sure, bro. Congratulations on the babies,” he added.

Brian pulled over another chair and sat down across from Sienna. “That was quite the shock you gave us all out there,” he told her.

Sienna smiled. “Well, I appreciate the element of surprise as much as the next person,” she replied.

They watched each other for a few moments, knowing that they were searching for any changes in the other.

Brian sat back. “What are you doing here, Sienna?”

“I should think that would be painfully obvious,” she told him. “Let me tell you about something new that’s been going on in my life. My cousin Shane has moved in with me. Shane lived in Ireland for the last ten years. When he turned eighteen, he decided against college and, with his beloved camera, he went off to Ireland, our ancestral stomping grounds, to become famous for landscapes. His parents, Uncle Rafe and Aunt Mackenzie, weren’t too thrilled, but they love their children, so they let him go. Of course, he had to start off small. He photographed his share of nude women and maybe shared them, too.” She shrugged. “That’s Shane’s deal, though. Fortunately, after ten years, he managed to make a name for himself in the celebrity photographer world. Shane Roberts,” she said and smiled when the light of recognition flickered in his eyes. “That’s right, you do know Shane, don’t you? I’m surprised you didn’t recognize the photographer for the entire Never Gone layout as the same man you saw me sleeping with on my couch on December twenty third. Silly Brian to not recognize the man who changed the course of our relationship. I had to call Shane and keep him from strangling you with his bare hands for hurting me,” she explained. “You didn’t trust me as you should have. Of course, it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past.”

“I didn’t know,” Brian said after a few moments. “I’m sorry, Sienna. God knows, I’m more sorry than you can imagine. You’re right, I didn’t trust you enough because I was still applying the old mindset to you. I’m sorry,” he repeated.

Sienna shrugged. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter anymore. I do have to thank you for one thing, though. Or rather, two things,” she corrected herself, placing her hands over her belly. “See, from August to December, I kept praying that I would end up pregnant again. I so badly wanted our baby, you know. After you left without a word, I stopped eating and, sometime at the end of January, I started getting sick. I thought maybe, maybe God was being merciful and was going to take me out of this world,” she paused when she heard him curse under his breath. “Cursing’s not going to change anything, Brian. Anyway,” she continued. “Livvy took me to the doctor, who told me that I was not dying, I was pregnant. I didn’t want the baby,” she said suddenly.

Brian looked at her, surprised. “Why? Why wouldn’t you want the baby?”

Sienna smiled, ironically. “What would be the point of raising a child without the father by my side? I didn’t want to do it on my own, and I didn’t want you missing out on our child. Of course, I changed my mind. I decided to keep our baby, and I’m pretty sure it’s twins. After all, my grandmother on my mother’s side was a twin,” she explained. “It runs in the family.”

Brian stared at her, awed. “I don’t know what to say,” he whispered. “You’re more than I deserve, Sienna. So much more.”

“You’re probably right, but, for some reason, I still love you,” she told him. “I don’t need you say it back. I mean, you couldn’t have truly loved me if you couldn’t trust me. And, without trust, there is no basis for love,” she added.

“Sienna,” he began, but she cut him off.

“Would you like to feel the babies?” she asked him. When he simply nodded, she took his hand and placed it on their children. The kicking began again, making Sienna smile. “Yes, darlings, your daddy is right here. He’s with us, now. Although, I’m not quite sure how long he’ll stay. This one’s the kicker,” she explained to Brian. “And this one is the quieter one. I’ll feel a kick sometimes, but I think he or she likes to sleep more than anything else.”

“You haven’t found out the gender?” Brian asked her.

“I haven’t let the doctor tell me if it’s really twins or that I’m just hallucinating and thinking it’s twins,” she told him. “So, no, I haven’t wanted to know what they’ll be. Like I said, I like the element of surprise.”

His hand tightened on hers and she looked up at him. He was no longer paying attention to the babies. “I am sorry, Sienna. If I could go back and change it, I would. Of course, I can’t. You don’t know how grateful I am that you’ve found it in your heart to forgive me. And you’re wrong. I did love you and trust you, but seeing you like that shocked me. I couldn’t separate you from Leighanne at that moment, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t let the past stay in the past. I hope we can move past that,” he murmured.

“Like friends?” Sienna suggested.

Brian thought being friends with her was sure to kill him. He couldn’t go back to such a placid relationship with her. But he nodded. “If that’s what you’re willing to do, then that’s fine.”

“All right, then, Brian, friends it is,” she agreed and held out a hand. He shook it, cursing himself inwardly.

“Will you let me know when the twins are born?” he asked her. “I’d like to be a part of their lives if you’ll let me.”

Sienna was shocked to realize that he didn’t believe she wanted to raise their children together, but she nodded. “Of course. You are their father, and I could never deny them that.”

“All right, guys,” Johnny called out to the room. “The van’s waiting out back. We have half an hour to get to the taping of TRL, so let’s move.”

Brian rose, reluctant to go. “Sienna,” he began.

“You’d better go,” she told him, trying not to cry again. She had made it, she had seen him and was now letting him go.

“I—take care of yourself,” he told her. “I’ll call soon.”

Sienna nodded and watched him walk out of the room. Somehow, she made it out of the building and wandered the streets of New York aimlessly. Passersby on the sidewalk stared at her, the pregnant woman with tears running down her cheeks. Sienna paid no attention to anyone, so she didn’t notice the photographer that stayed a discreet distance ahead of her and snapped pictures.

“Holy shit,” Nick whispered as he stared at the magazine in the gift shop of their hotel. Grabbing one, he paid for it along with the bag of pretzels he had settled for and hurried back to the room he was sharing with Brian.

Brian glanced up at him as he entered and, seeing the bag of pretzels, he grinned. “That’s it, huh? You took half an hour to make up your mind over a bag of pretzels?”

Nick plopped down on the bed next to him and dropped the magazine into Brian’s lap. “Nope. This is what took me so long,” he explained.

Brian stared at the headline and the picture below it. Us Weekly had, for once, been halfway right about something. “Backstreet Ex Pregnant!” the headline screamed and below it, “Brian Abandons Pregnant Girlfriend to Party With Former Playboy!” The pictures below were of Sienna on the day of the Soundcheck party and one of him and Kelly at a club she had dragged him to in May.

“Sienna’s going to be pissed,” Nick murmured. “Not to mention, your very Christian image is now going to be questioned.”

“What devout Christian would have premarital sex resulting in a pregnancy and not marry the woman?” Brian finished for Nick. He shook his head. “How could this happen, Nick?”

“Well, she wasn’t exactly discreet about who she was,” Nick said, but Brian cut him off.

“No, this isn’t her fault. She was crying,” he murmured, running his finger over Sienna’s picture.

“Of course she was crying,” Nick said. “You left her, thinking she had cheated on you. Then, she finds out she’s pregnant with your kids and you still stay away from her.”

“Well, what the hell should I have done?” Brian exploded. “Leave the band to take care of her? Really, Nick, how would that have worked?”

Nick shrugged. “I don’t know, Bri, but I would have done that. We sacrifice a lot to get up on stage and perform, but never family,” he reminded Brian. “Family’s more important than anything.”

“You’re right,” Brian agreed. “I’ve hurt Sienna, Nick. She’s forgiven me and agreed to let me be in our children’s lives, but she’s not going to let me back into hers.”

“At least, not that easily,” Nick told him.

Before Brian could say anything, there was a knock on the door. Nick went to open the door and let a grim-looking Johnny and Kevin into the room.

“What’s up, guys?” Nick asked cheerfully.

Kevin sat down next to Brian and glanced at the tabloid. “Well, I guess you already know what we’re going to ask you about,” he sighed.

Johnny shook his head. “Jive wants to know what our official statement is going to be.”

“Does there have to be an official statement?” Brian wondered.

“You know better, Brian. You’ve been in this business a long time. To stay quiet makes it even worse. It makes it seem like there’s something to hide,” Johnny reminded him. “I need to know if Sienna’s going to say anything to anyone.”

Brian shrugged. “I haven’t talked to her since the fourteenth. I’m not sure if she’ll want to say anything. She’s pretty adamant about keeping her private life private.”

Kevin placed a hand on his shoulder. “Can you call her and find out?”

Brian shrugged again. “I can try, but she’s not too happy with me, right now. Our best bet is to call Liv and find out from her what’s going on.”

Johnny nodded. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

Two hours later, after finding out that Sienna had refused to speak to any reporters that had arrived on her doorstep and showed up in her shop, Brian, Johnny, and the official Jive spokesperson sat down to write up a formal statement.

The following morning, a note was sent to the New York Times, which had also called to find out what was going on. It simply read, “To those who are curious about the alleged pregnancy of Miss Sienna McKinnon, ex-girlfriend of Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell, the facts of the matter are that Miss McKinnon is indeed pregnant with Mr. Littrell’s child. Mr. Littrell, however, is not dating and has never in the past dated Miss Kelly Monaco. Both Littrell and Monaco are close friends, nothing more. Brian Littrell and Sienna McKinnon are also looking forward to welcoming their child and look forward to raising it together.”

***

Kelly read over the statement and called Brian. “I like it,” she said when he answered the phone. “It’s strong and brooks absolutely no nonsense. And the fact that you ended it with the two of you raising your children together makes it seem as though there are no hard feelings between the two of you. What does Sienna think?”

“It’s hard to tell what she thinks,” Brian said wearily. “She simply said it was fine and that maybe now she could actually run her shop without any commotion.”

“Give her time, Brian. You hurt her, now you have to deal with the consequences,” Kelly reminded him. “Why don’t you call her? Find out how she and the babies are? It might make her think better of you.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Brian murmured. “I could do that and maybe convince her to let me be there when they’re born, too.”

“Perhaps,” Kelly simply said.

***

Sienna sat behind the register and pouted. She didn’t want to sit anymore. She wanted to get up and move around. She patted her belly.

“I’m not saying that I don’t mind carrying you guys around,” she told the twins. “But, honestly, I’m not sure how much further I can grow. Maybe it’s time for you to come out and see the world. God knows I need to see the two of you,” she murmured.

When the phone rang, she reached for it. “Sienna’s Flowers, how can I help you?” she greeted the caller politely.

“Sienna? What the hell are you doing still working?” Brian shouted over the phone. “You should be home, resting! Not running around after customers.”

Sienna sighed. “Brian, I’m sitting behind the counter, which is where I’ve been sitting for the last three weeks. Relax. Besides, it’s none of your business what I do or don’t do,” she added.

Brian muttered something, then sighed. “Okay, fine. But those babies you’re carrying are part mine, too. So think about them, too.”

“I am. I promise,” she told him. “Why are you calling, Brian? I thought we cleared up all the drama over my being pregnant.”

“We did,” Brian assured her. “I just needed to know how you were. You’re just about eight months pregnant. How are you feeling?”

Hearing the genuine concern in his voice, she sighed. He hadn’t changed, he still cared. It made it more difficult to let him go. “I want to get outside and run around again. Instead, my back hurts, my legs are swollen, and I have to run to the bathroom every half hour. It’s ridiculous,” she told him. “But then I think about the fact that I’m going to give birth soon to two people. We created lives, Brian, and this is all worth it if we have two healthy babies.”

“Sienna…God, I don’t even know what to say,” he murmured. “I miss you,” he whispered.

Sienna squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to let the words affect her. “I want to say I don’t miss you,” she told him. “But that would be lying and we’ve had enough of those between us. I miss you, too. Every minute of every day. When the babies kick, I wish you were here to experience it with me.”

“What if I was?” Brian asked suddenly. “Would you let me come and be with you? Could I be there for their births?”

“Okay,” she said after a few moments. “Be with us, Brian. But you’ll have to hurry,” she warned him. “I have a feeling that they’ll be born soon, maybe even by the end of next week.”

“Whoa, that fast?” Brian wondered, awed. “I thought you still had another month to go?”

Sienna laughed. “Twins usually come sooner than nine months, Bri. Besides, I don’t think I can grow anymore. I already feel as though I’m going to pop.” She paused. “How can you come, Brian? You’re on tour, aren’t you? You can’t just leave the group to come and be here.”

“As Nick told me once, family is more important than anything,” he told her. “The guys will understand as long as it’s okay with you.”

“It’s okay with me,” she reassured him.

“Great! Then I’ll be there as soon as I talk to the others and clear everything up. See you soon, baby,” he said, excitedly. “Tell the twins I love them and I’ll be there soon.”

“I will. ‘Bye Brian.”

***

“You want to do what?!” Johnny nearly roared.

Brian stood his ground. “I’m going home to be with Sienna. I need to be there when the twins are born. Before and after that, too,” he told Johnny.

Johnny nearly sputtered. “You know this is a very important summer for all of you, Brian. If you want to make it back in the industry, you have to be here for all of the performances and appearances. How would it look to those loyal fans when Brian, the golden-voiced Boy, doesn’t show up at their concerts because he went home to be with his pregnant, ex-girlfriend?”

“I’d say they would be very proud of him,” Kevin said from the doorway. He came into the room. “I thought you understood us, Johnny. Brian wouldn’t be who he is if he didn’t want to go home. Frankly, I’m surprised he’s still here.”

Johnny sighed. “I understand it’s important to be with Sienna. But you hired me to make sure you guys would do well and make it back into the business. You can’t do that if one of your members disappears from the tour for weeks. Last time it happened, you ended up canceling that tour, remember?”

“Considering that’s a difficult time to forget, of course I remember,” Kevin snapped, his patience wearing. “We gave AJ the time he needed, and, if I didn’t think that the four of us would be fine for a few weeks while Brian went home to welcome his children into the world, then I would suggest postponing this tour, too. Yes, I know this tour is important. We’re doing wonderfully, and our fans are just as amazing as they were four years ago. They wouldn’t love us, though, if we weren’t the men we are. If Brian goes home for such an important reason, they will understand. If he stays away from Sienna, they’ll be disappointed in him as they are right now.”

Johnny blew out a breath. “Okay, all right. You’re right, you’re right. You guys can work fine without Brian for a few weeks. I’ll make the necessary excuses. Go,” he said to Brian. “I shouldn’t have tried to stop you. So, go home and give my congratulations to Sienna, too.”

Brian grinned and hugged the other man. “Thanks, man. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Johnny shrugged. “Whatever makes you happy, Brian, is what we’ll do. I promise.”

***

Sienna heard the door open and watched as Shane staggered into the kitchen.

“I swear, I am tired of flying all over the country to photograph these celebrities. They’re nothing but spoiled, arrogant children,” he complained.

Sienna gave him a sympathetic smile. “That bad, huh? I thought Hawaii would be nice and relaxing,” she said.

“Right. Well, you’d think it would be, wouldn’t you? But when you put a whiny Miss Lohan into the mix, all relaxation and fun goes out of it,” Shane grumbled.

Sienna ruffled his hair. “Poor baby. Did you bring me anything back?”

Shane grinned. “Always looking for the take, aren’t you? I didn’t bring anything back for you,” he told her. “But,” he continued when he saw her mutinous look, “I did bring something back for the babies.” He dug out a box from his bag. “Here,” he handed it to her.

Sienna opened the box and grinned as she pulled out the tiny hula skirts. “What if they’re not girls?” she asked Shane. “What am I going to do with infant-sized grass skirts?”

“I think they’re going to be girls,” Shane said. “I have a really good feeling about it.”

Sienna shrugged. “Guess we’ll see, huh? So, guess who’s coming to stay with us for the next few weeks?”

Shane pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. “Who? And why is your house turning into a bed and breakfast?”

“It’s not turning into a bed and breakfast,” she told him. “And Brian’s leaving the tour to be here when the babies are born.”

Shane turned to her slowly. “You’re joking, right? I thought you didn’t want to be anywhere near him ever again?”

Sienna waved that off. “Don’t be silly, Shane. How could I not see the father of my children ever again? Besides, I’m still in love with him,” she added.

“What! Sienna, honey, the guy didn’t trust you, but you still love him?”

“Shane, I can’t control how I feel about him. It just is and I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve forgiven him, he’s coming here, and he’s going to be here for awhile,” she finished.

“Fine, then I’ll just have to get out of the way so I don’t strangle him,” Shane told her.

“Don’t be stupid, Shane. If you killed him, do you think I’d love you?” Sienna asked him.

“Okay, fine. But if he hurts you again, he’s toast,” Shane promised.

“Deal,” Sienna agreed.

***

Brian parked his car in the driveway and got out of the car. The door opened, and Shane stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind him. He watched Brian with an unreadable look on his face. Brian strode to the porch and held out a hand.

“Shane, nice to see you again,” he greeted the other man.

Shane looked at his hand then back up at Brian’s face. “Let’s get something straight, shall we? You hurt Sienna, she forgave you, and here you are. If you so much as make her eyes tear up, I will make you wish you had never been born. Is that clear?”

Brian nodded. “Crystal. Now, are you going to let me get into that house or am I going to have to go through you?”

Shane stepped aside, and Brian pushed open the door and entered the house. He walked through the kitchen and found her in the den, stretched out on the couch.

“Sienna?”

She sat up and, seeing him, smiled. “Brian, you made it. Did Shane read you the riot act, yet?”

“Yeah,” Brian smiled at the man next to him. “We cleared everything up.”

Sienna shook her head at Shane. “Jesus, Shane, back off a little. I know how to take care of myself.”

Shane shrugged. “I love you, and I just don’t want to see you crying again.”

She softened. “Don’t worry. Next time, I won’t cry, I’ll get even.” She smiled at Brian. “But, since I know you won’t hurt me again, I don’t have to worry about coming up with various ways to maim you, right?”

Brian swallowed. “I promise, I’d rather cut out my own heart than hurt you again.”

“See?” Sienna smiled at Shane. “What’d I tell you? Now, go away Shane. Go find Marlena and bother her.”

Shane grumbled but left.

Brian watched him go, then turned to Sienna. “I like him. I’m glad he took care of you.”

“Took care of me? Ha!” Sienna shook her head. “It was like being babysat by a drill sergeant. ‘Eat this much at this time,’ ‘Did you take your vitamins?’ ‘Stay off your feet,’ and so on. Who do you think convinced Marlena to make sure I stayed off my feet at work, even when I threatened to fire her? Of course, that might have been because Marlena’s in love with him, but still.”

“Wait, whoa,” Brian stopped her. “Marlena and Shane? Since when?”

Sienna smiled. “Since you left. We fell apart and the two of them came together. It’s really beautiful. So,” she said, changing the subject, “sit and tell me how the other guys are going to continue to do the tour without you.”

Brian smiled and sat next to her.

“Come on, Sienna, baby, push!” Brian gritted his teeth and gripped her better.

Sienna nearly cried with the pain pressing down on her. She knew that one of the twins was nearly out, but she was so tired and didn’t think she could do it.

“I can’t,” she moaned. “I just want to sleep—ow!” she cried out as she felt the next fist of pain hit her.

The doctor glanced up from between her legs and looked at Brian. “She needs to just give one good push. The baby’s already crowned, and one push would get it out.”

“Do you hear that?” Brian said to Sienna. “One push, my love. That’s all it’s going to take to get the baby out.”

“Yeah? Well then you do it,” Sienna snarled. Then, taking one deep breath, she bore down with all the strength in her. When the sound of a baby crying filled the room, she sagged against Brian.

Brian kissed her forehead. “You did it, Sienna, you gave birth to our baby,” he exclaimed.

“It’s a girl,” the nurse told them as she swaddled the baby and placed her in Sienna’s arms. Sienna looked down at the baby and smiled.

“She’s beautiful,” Brian murmured in her ear. “Just like her mother.”

Sienna sighed. “There’s still one more,” she reminded him. “I don’t think I can do it, though,” she told the doctor.

“Luckily for you, you’re not going to have to,” the doctor told her. “Do you remember the ultrasound we took? The first baby was fine, but the second one is breach. We’re going to have to do the C-section quickly,” he added.

Within minutes, Sienna had been given the epidural, and, as the doctors began to work on getting the second baby out, she gripped Brian’s hand as he held their daughter.

“What should we name her?” Brian wondered, trying to get Sienna’s mind off of the doctor cutting her open.

Sienna focused on him. “What should we name her?” she repeated. “I don’t know. I didn’t really think about any names. But, I want to name one of them for my mother. Is that possible?”

Brian grinned. “Of course! So, what’ll it be?”

Sienna closed her eyes. “Serena Madeline Littrell,” she murmured, then opened her eyes. “Well? What do you think?”

“You’re naming her Littrell?” Brian asked her wonderingly.

“Of course, I am,” Sienna said. “What else would their last name be?”

Brian tried not to dwell too much on the fact that she had let their children really be his in name and spirit. Squeezing her hand comfortingly, he tried not to look at what the doctors were doing. When the wailing of another infant filled the room, he looked over.

“What is it?” Sienna asked him.

Another nurse quickly weighed, measured, and cleaned the baby, then she handed the bundle to Brian. With his arms full of their children, he smiled down at her. “What should we name our second daughter?” he asked her.

Sienna closed her eyes. “Kara Jacqueline Littrell,” she told him and opened her eyes. “They’re both healthy?”

The doctor finished stitching her up and, washing up, looked over the charts a nurse handed him. “They’re both perfectly healthy. Perfect ten’s on the Apgar scale,” he told them. “Congratulations, your daughters are lovely. Miss McKinnon, you’re going to have to stay in bed for two days. You’ll probably be released the day after tomorrow as long as there are no complications. Which there shouldn’t be,” he added.

Brian thanked him, and the doctor left.

“I guess we’ll be able to put those grass skirts to use, huh?” she murmured as she held Kara.

“Halloween costumes,” Brian said definitely.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Both girls have dark brown hair,” she murmured. “Guess they got that from me. I wonder what color their eyes are?”

“If they’re lucky, their eyes will be hazel, like their mother’s,” Brian told her and placed a light kiss on Serena’s head. Then he looked at her, his eyes serious. “Sienna, I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but thank you. Thank you for giving me the best thing I have ever received in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you for this.”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she replied. “They’re as much mine as yours. It wasn’t a selfless thing I did. Look at them,” she whispered as Kara yawned and blinked her eyes open. “She has blue eyes, Brian.”

Brian sighed happily. “Serena probably has blue eyes, too. After all, they’re identical, aren’t they? How are we planning on telling them apart?”

Sienna smiled. “For the next while, we’ll simply dress them differently. I’m sure they’re different in some way. We’ll see as they get older,” she added, yawning.

Brian brushed her hair off her forehead. “Baby, you’re beat. It’s time for you to sleep.” As she tried to protest, a nurse came in and wheeled the twins to the nursery.

“See?” Brian said. “It’s time for you to take a nap. I’m going to go call our families.”

“’Kay,” Sienna murmured and promptly fell asleep.

Brian’s family showed up within an hour, followed by Sienna’s aunts, uncles, and cousins. They all admired the twins while listening to Shane proudly announce that he had known it would be girls. Finally, Faith told him to shut up or leave. He had quieted down and stayed.

AJ arranged a toast on the tour bus with lemonade he found in the bus’s refrigerator. Kevin had gotten teary and called to let Kristin know the good news. After talking to Liv, Howie had told them that Kara and Serena both had their mother’s hair and Brian’s blue eyes. Good genes all around, the four of them had agreed.

Sienna and the twins came home two days later, and Brian hurried between the three of them, trying to take care of them all. Sienna had laughed and told him not to worry. She was fully able to move around after a day at home. Marlena was managing the shop, solo, until September, which gave Sienna plenty of time with her daughters.

At the start of August, Brian had tried to stay, but Sienna insisted that he go back to the tour. Not wanting to push his luck, he had returned to the tour but would call home every night to hear, if nothing else, the twins’ wails.

“She’s getting used to the idea of the two of us leading separate lives and only seeing each other for the girls’ sake,” Brian told AJ one day in September.

“Have you told her you love her?” AJ wondered. “If you don’t, of course she’s going to think you don’t want her. That you’re only there for the sake of the twins. And you’re not, right?”

“No,” Brian shook his head. “I want her back, AJ. I want us to be a family, yeah, but I need Sienna more than anything. I want to marry her, prove that I’ll love her for the rest of my life.”

“Then just do it,” AJ suggested. “Just go back to Lexington and tell her how you feel.”

Brian pointed to the large window in their suite. “Hello? Earth to Alex! We’re in Germany, in case you hadn’t noticed. I can’t jet off to Lexington and come back without missing more shows. I know you guys are capable of going on without me, but I don’t want to miss anymore shows.”

“Then I guess you’ll just have to wait, huh?” AJ told him.

Brian decided to simply wait, to give Sienna time. However, when he was digging through his suitcase in a room in Austria, a box tumbled out. He opened it and, seeing the ring he had bought nearly a year before, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on for too long.

***

“Is everything ready?” Sienna asked the stage manager of the talent show. Looking around at the chaos of costumes and eager performers backstage, she smiled.

“Everything’s set,” she was told. “They’re all in order of performances, except for you.”

“Don’t worry,” Sienna assured him. “I’ll be there when it’s my turn. Just make sure my music is set.”

She peeked through the curtains at the gathering crowd that waited patiently in the Tates Creek High School’s auditorium. Last month, as a community response to the Hurricane Katrina tragedy, Sienna had suggested a talent show to raise funds in a fun way and one that would involve the entire community. Jackie had seconded the idea while others had been equally enthusiastic. Sienna had been elected in charge of the planning committee, and she planned on performing in the show, too.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped onto the stage. “Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the Hurricane Katrina Relief Talent Show. Thank you all for being here tonight to enjoy the various talents of our fellow community members. Let’s welcome the first performer, Chris Klenn and his guitar.”

***

Brian sneaked into the auditorium from the back door and watched a young woman play a rousing Irish jig on her violin. Then, Sienna stepped onto the stage, and Brian thought she had never looked more beautiful.

“Thank you, Kari! That was incredible and made me want to dance the way my ancestors once did in Ireland,” she added. “Well, the next performer will actually be me. So, don’t boo too loudly when I do terribly. It’s my first time performing on stage,” she added.

The music started, and Brian didn’t recognize the song, but he was blown away by her voice. Why hadn’t he ever noticed that she was a wonderful singer? Her voice was a steady alto as she sang about being in love and never seeing the sky more blue than it was when she was in love. As she sang, her voice made Brian ache and realize that this was it. If he couldn’t convince her tonight, then he would never be able to convince her to be his. One last chance, Brian reminded himself as he stood and applauded her.

After the last performer, the stage manager took the microphone from Sienna, who stared at him, confused about what was going on.

“We have one final, last minute performance,” the stage manager announced. “Please welcome Brian Littrell.”

The applause was stunning as Brian stepped out and smiled at Sienna’s shocked face. He took the microphone from the stage manager and looked out at the audience.

“Well,” he began. “It’s good to be back in my old high school again. It’s so different and yet so much the same. Anyway, tonight I’d like to sing an old Backstreet favorite of everyone’s and one that’s come to mean more to me in the last year or so.”

The beginning chords of “As Long as You Love Me” poured through the speakers, and Brian sang the song, glancing at Sienna throughout the song. When he finished and the applause sounded, Brian put the microphone down and walked to where she stood.

“Sienna, I know I probably surprised you, but there’s a reason I’m here, tonight,” he began.

“You—you’re supposed to be in Spain,” she stammered.

“I know, but I needed to see you. You’ve let me back into your life as the father of our little girls, but I want us to be a family,” he murmured and dug out the box from his pocket. Flipping it open, he handed it to her, not realizing that the auditorium was silent as they watched the two people on stage. “Will you marry me, Sienna?”

She stared at the ring then at Brian, shocked. This wasn’t the way she had imagined him asking her to marry him. It certainly wasn’t the circumstances she had imagined—that was for sure. Closing the box, she handed it back to him. “I’m sorry, Brian, but I can’t marry you. I won’t marry you. I’m sorry,” she whispered and hurried offstage.

Brian stared down at the box in his hand and tried to think of what he had done wrong. Had she simply not forgiven him enough? he wondered. Realizing that five hundred people were watching him expectantly, he lifted the mike again.

“Thank you all for supporting the Katrina Relief efforts. We’ll be announcing the winner of the talent show soon, so stick around,” he said keeping his voice steady, though it cost him. Then, he walked off the stage and straight out the side doors of the auditorium.

Brian stumbled outside and into the parking lot. The lights from the building were blurred, and he realized that tears were blinding him. He brushed them off and looked around for his car.

“Brian!” There was a shout from behind him.

He turned and noticed Shane hurrying towards him. “I don’t have a death wish, Shane. I didn’t hurt her, this time,” he told the other man and walked towards his car.

“Wait,” Shane said and slowed to a walk when he caught up to Brian. “Look, I’m sorry she refused to marry you. I don’t know why she did it, other than you surprised her.”

Brian stopped and stared at him. “Then, in surprise, if she did love me, wouldn’t her answer have been yes? Maybe she really doesn’t love me,” he murmured and tried to get used to the idea.

“She loves you. I promise you, she does, but I don’t know what’s gotten into her,” Shane told him. “I think you should give her three hours then drop by her house and talk to her again. Don’t worry,” he added. “I moved out to live with Marlena, so you don’t have to worry about me being there.”

“You moved in with Marlena?” Brian asked, surprised. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Shane said. “But, seriously, Brian, go by there around midnight and talk to her again. When we were little, it always took her three hours to calm down enough to be reasonable. You surprised her by asking her to marry you on a stage in front of hundreds of people. She definitely didn’t expect it, so give her time.”

Brian sighed. “If she says no again, Shane, I don’t think there’s going to be anything left of my heart to scrape off the floor with a spoon.”

Shane patted his shoulder. “Trust me.”

***

Sienna changed the girls into their baby pajamas and laid them into their bassinets. Singing them to sleep helped her calm down a little, but, once they were asleep, she fumed. How dare he ask her to marry him? Did he think that she would she say yes to marriage for the sake of the girls? Of course, she would do just about anything for her daughters, but she knew she could never marry a man who didn’t love her. And, in that whole spiel he had given her, had he once said he loved her? No, she reminded herself. He hadn’t.

The doorbell rang, and she wondered who it could possibly be. When she opened the door, a mix of expressions ran over her face, Brian noticed.

“I said no, Brian,” she reminded him. “What more do you want?”

He lifted a brow. “You’re not the only one who lives here. I came to see our daughters. Are they sleeping?” At her nod, he brushed past her and went up the stairs.

Angry again at the fact that he hadn’t come to see her and hurt, too, Sienna walked to the kitchen and, pouring herself a glass of wine, she sat and sipped it. If nothing else, she hoped it would help her calm down and be able to face him reasonably.

Fifteen minutes later, he strolled into the kitchen and grinned at her. “They’re perfect! They become more perfect every time I see them. God, they’re amazing,” he told her, excitedly.

“I know,” Sienna couldn’t help but soften at his pride and amazement over their daughters.

“So,” he said, looking at her now, “you told me you didn’t want to marry me. I’d like an explanation, please.”

As he stared at her, Sienna set down the glass she held. “Okay, you want an explanation. Fine. I won’t marry you because I think we can be a family without being married. I think Serena and Kara can have a mother and father who love them equally and aren’t married. Frankly, I don’t like the whole marriage idea when it comes to the two of us, anyway,” she finished.

Brian watched her for a few moments, then, nodding, he turned and left the kitchen. As Sienna let out a sigh of relief, he came back and, cupping her face in his hands, laid his lips on hers, taking her into a deep kiss that made tears rise in her eyes.

“Tell me you don’t love me,” he whispered, drawing back.

She shook her head and pulled him back to her, hungry for the taste she had gone without for months.

“I can’t,” she managed to say. “I can’t because I do love you.”

Brian felt relief flood through him and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Then, I’ll ask you again. I love you, Sienna, and I love our little girls. All I need is for you to marry me. For God’s sake, Sienna, say you’ll marry me,” he said, almost desperate.

She took a steadying breath. “I’d like to see the ring please.” Cursing under his breath, he yanked the box out of his pocket and handed it to her. She opened it and was dazzled by the ring she hadn’t been able to see the first time through the shock. There was a large emerald surrounded by three diamonds on either side of it in the band.

“I thought an emerald was better than a diamond. Diamonds are a cliché, and I already gave a diamond to someone before. I wanted something solid, that would last,” Brian explained, unnerved by her lack of response.

She looked at it another moment and handed it back to Brian. “I’d like you to put it on, please,” she told Brian. “I love you. God knows, loving you has driven me absolutely insane, but I do. And nothing, nothing on earth would make me happier than marrying you.”

Brian smiled and slid the ring onto her finger. “It fits,” he murmured, happily and crushed his lips to hers. “Sienna, I can’t do without you anymore,” he whispered, drawing back to look into her eyes.

“Then don’t,” she told him as he swept her up.

***

Much later, she studied the ring on her finger and thought of everything it represented. Brian pressed a kiss to her neck. “I’m glad you like it,” he murmured.

“You gave it to me,” she smiled. “How could I not like it?” She turned to look into his eyes. “I’d like to get married as soon as possible. I don’t want to take the chance that something will go wrong again. Too many things already have, I don’t want this to be one of them.”

“I’ve never spent New Year’s with you,” he told her. “I’d like to welcome 2006 with you by my side, as my wife.”

Sienna smiled. “I’d like that,” she said and kissed him.

When they heard a cry from the baby monitor, Brian grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ll get her.”

New Year’s Eve
St. John’s Baptist Church
Lexington, Kentucky

The church buzzed with close to two hundred guests, all of Brian and Sienna’s family and friends. Outside, fans and the media tried to catch a glimpse of the guests arriving, but a barricade had been effectively set up to hold them back. The reception would be held later on, combined with a New Year’s celebration, at the home Brian and Sienna had bought together ten miles south of Lexington where he had built her a larger greenhouse, into which she had systematically moved all of her plants.

Inside the church, in a room normally used for the Sunday School, Brian paced back and forth and asked for a drink—for the hundredth time.

“Absolutely not,” Kevin told him. “You’re not getting married, buzzed. Keep your head clear, Brian, because this is one of the most important days of your life.”

“I know, I know that, Kev, but I’m so nervous, I think I’m gonna jump out of my skin,” Brian replied.

“Hey, how’s the groom?” Nick grinned coming into the room.

“Nervous as a cat,” Kevin told him.

Harry came in then, carrying Serena. “Somebody wanted to see Daddy,” he told Brian.

His nerves forgotten in his hurry to take his daughter, Brian reached for her and kissed the baby’s cheek. “Look how beautiful my little girl is,” he murmured. The baby was dressed in green and white, with a little white headband on. She blinked at her father then gurgled delightedly as he tossed her up and caught her close.

“Okay,” Brian said, turning to the others. “I can do this. I am going to marry the most beautiful woman in the whole world today and nerves are not going to stop me.”

“That’s the spirit!” Nick cheered.

***

“I just have to put one foot in front of the other and make it down the aisle,” Sienna muttered to herself as Kristin applied her eye makeup.

“Honey,” Leighanne said from behind her. “Relax. I mean, I know it sounds crazy coming from me, but, really, everything will be fine.”

Sienna gave Leighanne a half-smile and wondered at how far their relationship had come. During the months she and Brian had been apart, Leighanne had called her to apologize for coming between them and to assure her that she was behind their relationship one hundred percent. She had become one of the sources of comfort that Sienna had relied upon when Brian had left.

“She’s right,” Liv spoke up, now. “Remember how nervous I was on my wedding day? But the second I saw Howie, nothing else mattered. Trust us, everything will work wonderfully today.”

The door opened, and Kelly stepped in. “Wow, you look amazing, Sienna. Brian’s eyes are going to roll down the aisle when he sees you.” Then, smiling down at the baby she held, she stepped forward. “Kara wanted to see her mommy. She’s been a little fussy.”

Sienna smiled and held out her arms, and Kara settled into her lap happily.

“Thanks Kelly,” she said. In the last two months, Sienna had gotten to know the soap opera actress, and the two women had hit it off remarkably. Kelly couldn’t get enough of playing with the girls, and she and Sienna had spent days searching for the perfect wedding outfits for the twins.

Liv finished the curled up-do Sienna had wanted and stepped back. “All done, Si. You do look incredible. Like a true glowing bride,” she added.

“I hope so,” Sienna murmured.

Kristin looked at the clock as a knock sounded on the door. “Sienna?” Jacob Roberts, poked his head in. “Honey, everything’s set. And you look amazing,” he told her as he stepped into the room. The other women hurried out and Sienna linked an arm with her uncle, holding Kara in the other.

As they waited outside the doors to the church, Sienna tried not to fidget, but Jacob noticed.

“Sienna, sweetie, I don’t think I could be more proud of you than I am at this very moment. I wish your parents were here to see the wonderful woman, mother, and soon-to-be wife you’ve become,” he said, swallowing the tears that had risen.

Sienna squeezed her mother’s ruby necklace and smiled at him. “I think they’re here,” she murmured.

***

Brian waited impatiently, jiggling Serena in his arms, as he watched Abby sprinkle rose petals down the aisle, followed by Shane’s older sister’s son, who carried the rings on a green, satin pillow. He watched Faith, Marlena, and Liv, the matron of honor, walk up the aisle.

Finally, the opening of “Bittersweet Symphony” began to play, and his breath caught as she stepped into the entryway on her uncle’s arm. Her dress was a long, bell-sleeved medieval style gown with no extra layers. It was decorated with a gold pattern on the bodice, which matched the pattern on the hem. She carried Kara instead of a bouquet, and, when their eyes met, they both broke into huge grins.

Sienna didn’t hear the music and didn’t see the guests. All she could see was Brian holding their child, and the love, she thought was too big already, grew and made her heart swell. Looking into Brian’s eyes, she knew he felt the same way.

As she made it to the altar, Brian smiled at her and Kara and held out a hand. Sienna beamed at him and Serena and, placing her hand in his, made them a family.