Chapter 2

She stirred as she slowly opened her eyes to find herself surrounded by darkness. She tried to adjust her eyes to the surroundings, but found that there wasn’t a single ray of light to give her any idea of where she was. It wasn’t until a few minutes had passed that she noticed that she wasn’t able to move around. She was lying flat on her back, her legs stretched out and her arms crossed over her chest. Slowly, she raised her arms and tried to sit up. It was then she realized that she was inside a wooden box.

In panic she let out a silent cry.

“Hello?” She said out loud. Her voice was shaking, as if she was afraid of getting an answer. She banged her fists on the side of the box, but the sound that met her was hollow and told her that no one could hear her from the outside.

“Hello? Can anybody hear me?” She yelled, her heart beating faster by the second, and panic was taking control over her body. She once again banged her fist as hard as she could on the walls surrounding her.

“Help me! Please…” She didn’t think she had ever felt this afraid in her entire life.
“Nick… Are you there? Can you hear me? Nick…?”
Minutes passed, and there was no reply or any sound at all coming from the outside of the box. Silent tears were falling down her cheek, and her voice became more and more fragile by every word that she spoke.

~*~

“What do you mean gone?”
“She’s not here AJ. All the lights are on, the door was unlocked, and she’s not here…” Nick was freaking out, pacing back and forth in Ali’s bedroom as he was speaking to AJ on the phone.
“Ok… calm down Nick. There’s probably a perfectly good explanation to all of this. Maybe she’s just out shopping for groceries.”
“It’s midnight, AJ…”
“Yea… ok.”
“What do I do man?” Nick asked as he sat down on her bed, still looking around the room to see if there was something that he’d missed.
“I don’t know… I guess you have to report her missing. If you’re sure she’s not there.”
“She’s not here Jay.”
“Right… umm… why don’t you come over to my place, and I’ll come with you down to the police station.”
“You sure?” Nick’s voice was shaking as he realized that he would have to report her missing.
“Yea, I’ll take you there. You shouldn’t be driving under these circumstances”
“Thanks man… I’ll be over in 15 minutes.”
“Alright… see ya.”

Nick quickly made his way to AJ’s place. They reached the police station half an hour later, and Nick was out of the car before AJ even had the chance to park it.
“Whoa… slow down Kaos. You’re gonna get yourself hurt if you keep up with that tempo.” AJ said, trying to keep up with Nick.
Nick didn’t reply. He just rushed towards the main entrance, AJ following not too far behind. They walked inside, and Nick quickly walked past the other people standing in line. A few of them reacted by sending angry glances in his direction, and as AJ walked past them, he sent an apologetic look.

“I’d like to report a missing person!” Nick said firmly to the female officer who was sitting behind the desk in front of him.
“Sir, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait in line like everybody else here.” She was looking stern, like she’d seen a lot of things, and nothing ever got to her anymore.
“No, you don’t understand.” He shook his head and impatiently placed both hands on the counter in front of him. “I need to speak with someone who can help me find her.”
“Sir, I need you to sit down, please.”
“No, listen to me, I ---“
“Nick, calm down!” AJ placed a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s sit down. You’re not making things any better by doing this.”
“But I---“
“Nick…”
He sighed, and agreed to follow AJ over to the waiting area.

Half an hour later, it was finally his call.
“Yes?” The female officer replied as he approached her again.
“I’d still like to report a missing person.” Nick said sarcastically.
“Name please.”
“Alicia Parker.”
The officer smiled a little to herself as if she was trying to make Nick look stupid. “No, sir. Your name, please.”
“Oh, umm… Nick Carter.”
“Ok, Mr. Carter, I need you to fill out this form. When you’re done, hand it to me, and we’ll see what we can do.”
“What do you mean ‘you’ll see what you can do?’ I need to know that you’re taking this case seriously. My best friend is missing, and she never leaves without telling me where she’s going. And she certainly never leaves her apartment with all the lights on and the front door unlocked.”
The officer sighed. “Mr. Carter…” She said slowly, as if she was trying to get him to understand. “You need to know that we deal with situations like this every day. People disappear, but 90 % of the time, they return the next day with a perfectly good explanation. I’m not saying that we won’t look into your case. I’m just saying that we know what we’re taking about, and that we’re almost always right.”
“Almost huh?” Nick whispered as he looked down at the form and grabbed a pen to start filling out the different sections.

“WHAT?” It was three hours later, and Nick and AJ were sitting in an office at the police station, talking to a different officer.
“We’re not going to investigate any further into this case, Mr. Carter.” He leaned forward and placed his elbows on the desk that separated him from Nick and AJ. “Nothing here points in the direction of a kidnapping.”
Nick felt his heart skip a few beats. “What do you mean? All the lights in her apartment were on, the door was unlocked, and all of her belongings are still there.”
“Mr. Carter, her purse containing her wallet, her cell phone and all her credit cards are not there. Most likely, she’s gone out and forgotten to lock the door.”
“If she’s got her cell phone with her, then why isn’t she answering my calls?” Nick wasn’t going to take no for an answer, and he knew that he couldn’t give up.
“I’m asking you, Mr. Carter to accept our decision, and go home. It’s almost four in the morning, and you’re not going to get any way with this. This case is closed.”

~*~

She didn’t know how long she’d been lying there… Her legs were starting to ache, and it was getting very clammy inside the box. Her breathing was getting heavier and by every breath she took, she felt a piece of her life disappear. She wanted to believe that it was all a dream, and that she would wake up soon in her own bed, but deep down, she knew that this was as real as it could possible get.

Chapter 3

She didn’t think she had ever been this cold in her entire life. The blanket that had been given to her months before was only covering her upper half and the shoes that she wore were full of holes. The small oven in the corner of the room was only giving out a small amount of heat, which was far from enough to keep her warm.

It was in the middle of the night. She could tell, because the voices outside had disappeared, like they always did when darkness came. Any minute now, he would walk through the old wooden door, like he always did every night. He would sit in the corner by the door and talk to her in a foreign language.

He spoke to her like she was a friend.
She had never seen him before.

Every time he came, she expected him to hurt her or touch her in ways that she didn’t want to be touched.

But he never did.

He kept himself hidden in the dark corner and she had only seen the outline of his face. Sometimes, she thought she saw a pair of sad eyes, but she didn’t know if it was her imagination. Sometimes, she had tried to talk to him to get him to tell her where she was, but every time she opened her mouth to speak, he interrupted her.

A sound could be heard from outside, and she looked up from the worn out mattress where she was sitting. The door slowly cracked open, and a figured entered the room.

~*~

March 2006

“Hey bro! Are you coming out

Chapter 4

January 28th 1990.

Nick yawned as he stretched, sat up in bed and glanced over at the alarm clock on the night stand.
7:59 AM.

He smiled. She would be there soon.

And he was right. Just as the alarm clock next to him showed 8:00 AM, the door to his bedroom flung open, and Ali came running in.

“Happy birthday Prick!” She giggled as she threw herself down on his bed and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She was still in her night gown, her hair sticking out in every direction.
Nick blushed. “Thanks Ali.”
She smiled at him, positioned herself next to him and leaned her back against the wall.
“Mom made me wait until 8 to come over to see you. She said you would still be asleep, but I was like… ‘mom, it’s his birthday. Do you really think he’s asleep?’ But she still made me wait. Did I wake you?”
Nick shook his head. “Nah, I woke up right before you got here. You know me too well Al.”
“I know. I like it that way. Here!” She reached over to grab a bag that she had brought.
“This is for you.” She gave it to him and Nick emptied the contents onto his bed.
Two presents fell out.
He grabbed the largest one first, brought it up to his ear, and shook it gently.
Ali giggled again. “That one’s from my whole family. Mom and dad told me to say happy birthday from them.”
“Thanks.” Nick tore off the paper and seconds later, he held a brand new baseball glove in his hands.
“Wow, thanks Ali.” He smiled.
“You welcome. I picked it out myself. Mom paid for it though.” She smiled and handed him the second present. “This one’s from me.”

Nick looked at the present. It was small, and by the look of it, Ali had wrapped it herself. He looked at her questionably.
“What?” She asked. “Come on, open it.”
“You didn’t have to give me anything besides the baseball glove.”
“I wanted to, silly.” She giggled again and hit him playfully on his shoulder. “It’s nothing special though.”
Nick gently removed the wrapping paper, curious to see what she had gotten him.

In his hand he was holding a bracelet. It was braided, with colours of greens and turquoise, with small sea shells attached to it. Nick smiled and looked at Ali.
“I made it myself,” She said proudly.
“I love it!”

And he really did. From that day on, he never took it off. Not until he was 15 and the bracelet was too small for his wrist. He then gave it back to Ali so that she could wear it. It became a symbol of their friendship, and they both knew that as long as one of them wore it, they would always be best friends.

~*~

Nick looked down at the bracelet in his hand. It was braided, with colours of greens and turquoise, with small sea shells attached to it.
He knew he wasn’t mistaken. He would recognize that bracelet anywhere. It was the same one as the one Ali had given to him. Even though it was well worn, some of the shells were missing, and the colours had faded throughout the years, it was still the same.

“Ali…” He whispered to himself as he sunk down on one of the chairs by the kitchen table.
He held the bracelet firmly in his hands and brought it up to his face to smell it.
He closed his eyes.
It still smelled like her. He even thought it smelled a little like him.

How…? Where are you Ali?

Nick opened his eyes, letting a tear gently roll down his cheek. He had lost track of how many times he had cried over her.
This time, it felt different though. Somewhere between the tears and his pounding heart, he felt relief. Relief that he had finally received a sign that she might still be alive. Not that he had ever doubted the fact that she wasn’t, but a lot of people had, and the bracelet that he was holding in his hands was proof that she was still out there somewhere.

Nick sat still for a few minutes, holding on to the bracelet and looking down at envelope still lying on the table in front of him.

Russia? Is that where you are Ali? What happened to you?

He put down the bracelet and picked up the envelope, looking inside it to see if he had missed something, like a note maybe.
But there was nothing.
Nick sighed and picked up the bracelet again. He knew that he had to drive down to the police station and report what he knew, but at the same time, he was also scared of what they would tell him. The memories of the night Ali had been reported missing, entered his mind again.

“This case is closed…”
Closed…

He didn’t want to hear those words again.

Chapter 5

Several minutes later, Nick stood up and walked over to grab his cell phone. He looked at it, then back at the bracelet he was still holding in his hand.
He quickly dialled the number and brought the phone up to his ear.

“Hey bro. Miss me already?” The voice on the other end replied after a few rings.
“Jay, hi. Did you get home yet?”
“Yup, just walked through the door. Man, I can’t wait to take a hot bath!”
Nick listened to AJ, feeling guilty for having to call him. “Umm… listen. Do you think you could come over?”
AJ laughed briefly. Then there was silence for a few seconds. “What?”
“I’m serious Alex. I need you over here as soon as you can.”
“Alex, huh? You never Alex me.”
“That’s because I’m deadly serious.”
There was silence again on the other end.“What’s going on, Nick? Did something happen. You sound weird…”
“I’ll tell you if you can just please get over here.”
“Has this got something to do with Ali again?”
“AJ… just. Please? I need your help.”
AJ sighed. “Alright. Give me thirty minutes.”
“Thanks man.”
“You owe me dude.”
Nick nodded to himself. “I know, Jay. See you.”
“Yea, bye.”

“And you’re telling me that this is the bracelet?” AJ was holding up the bracelet, looking at Nick pacing back and forth in front of him.
“For the hundred time AJ, yes. She made it for me, and I wore it for five years. I’m telling you Jay… it’s the same bracelet.”
“Alright, alright…” He raised his hands. “I was just asking…”
Nick sighed. “I know. I’m just freaking out right now. What do I do?”
“You have to report it.”
Nick ran his fingers though his hair and took a deep breath to calm himself down. “I guess. But what if they close the case again Jay? Or what if they don’t even bother to reopen it?”
“You’ll never know unless you try Nick. I mean, you can’t deal with this on your own anyway. You’ll need help. I mean, maybe they can find fingerprints on the envelope or something. You know… anything that might lead you to her.”
“Could you come with me?”
“Well, I’m here, so I might just tag along… It’s not like I don’t long for that bath tub or anything.” He laughed sarcastically.
Nick cast him a ‘not funny’ look.
“Sorry…” AJ got up from the chair he was sitting in and walked over to Nick who was still pacing back and forth.
“So… Russia, huh?” He said, standing next to Nick.
“Yea. Do you think she’s there?”
AJ shrugged. “I don’t know, man. She might be. Or she might’ve at least been there. I mean… she could be anywhere. But Nick… don’t get your hopes up. This bracelet doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s still alive.”
Nick stopped pacing and looked at AJ. “We’ve talked about this before Jay. I know she is.”
AJ sighed. “Ok… come on; let’s drive down to the station to see what they have to say.”

~*~

She was alone again. He had stayed particularly long that night. Once again, he stayed in the dark corner, careful not to reveal himself to her. She had tried talking to him again, but he had interrupted her and continued to speak to her in the foreign language. She was guessing that it was European, or maybe Asian. Sometimes, she thought she knew, other times, she had no idea.

She thought of what had happened three weeks earlier.
Once a week, she guessed, she was blindfolded, taken outside and led to a room where she could shower. It had been like that from the moment she had arrived. She cherished those few minutes where she was left to herself in a different surrounding then where she normally spent her time.

Three weeks ago, she had taken off the blindfold once she entered the room where the shower was placed, and found an envelope tossed away in a corner. She had picked it up and hidden it in the pocket of the torn jeans she was wearing, spending the entire night thinking about what to do with it.

Two days later, she had scribbled down Nick’s name and address with a piece of a burned match, praying that the blacking would stick to the envelope. She had forced the bracelet that she was wearing off her wrist and gently placed it inside the envelope.

The week after, when he came to take her out again, she had brought the letter with her and left it in the room where she showered, praying that someone would find it and be kind enough to post it for her. When she returned the week after, the letter was gone.

Chapter 6

“Ok, Mr. Carter, Mr. McLean. Sorry for taking so long.” An officer entered the small office where Nick and AJ had been told to wait. He shook their hands and gestured towards two chairs in front of an office desk that stood in the middle of the room. “Please sit down and fill me in on the details. I’ve only had the time to get a brief look at the case when it was reported in 2004.”

The officer walked around the desk and sat down opposite to them, placing a rather thin paper file on the desk’s dark wooden surface. His name tag read Granger and Nick guessed that he was in his mid 50. His hair was grizzled and he had a pair of friendly blue eyes that seemed sincere and showed a passion for his job.
Nick liked him immediately.

The two friends had been waiting at the police station for a mere two hours after they had reported the case to one of the officers sitting at the front desk. It went a lot smoother this time then what it had when Alicia first had been reported missing. The officer was very helpful, and showed an instantly interest when Nick told him about the case.

“Well…” Nick sat down on one of the chairs and started thinking of what to say to make the case sound as convincing as possible.
“Mr. Carter, right” The officer asked, sensing Nick’s uncertainty.
Nick nodded. “Call me Nick, please.”
“Alright, Nick. Alicia has been gone for over a year. I see that the case was closed even before they started looking for her. I have to admit that if that was up to me, I would’ve never closed the case in the first place, but what’s done is done, and I understand that we might get a second chance, so why don’t you tell me what you know?” Granger finished and looked at Nick giving him reassuring smile.
“Ok…” Nick dug into his pocket and pulled out the envelope that contained the bracelet he had received earlier that day. “I got home from New York today, and this letter was waiting for me on the kitchen table.” He handed the letter to Granger who opened it and pulled out the bracelet.
“It’s Ali’s.” Nick said as Granger studied it more closely. There was silence for a few moments while Nick waited for Granger to say something.
“Are you sure?”
Nick nodded. “Yes. She made it herself and gave it to me on my tenth birthday. I gave it back to her when it got too small for me to wear. She’s wore it every day, ever since.”
Granger put down the bracelet and picked up the envelope. Nick and AJ exchanged looks as he carefully studied the back and the front, reading the writing and touching the paper gently.
“Russia…” He mumbled to himself after a few moments. “That’s weird.”
A few more minutes passed by, when Granger suddenly stood up from the chair and walked around the desk, the envelope and bracelet in his hands.
“I’m going to get this down to the lab so that they can test it for fingerprints and DNA, ok?”
The two boys nodded and Granger continued. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, and we can talk more about what to do from here.” With that, he was out the door, leaving Nick and AJ alone again.

“Well… that went fairly well, right?” AJ asked almost as soon as the door was closed.
Nick shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair. “I guess.”
“Nick, you have to be optimistic about this. At least he’s willing to listen to us, and it really seemed like he wanted to help.”
“Yea, you’re right. I just… I don’t know. I just don’t want to get my hopes up.” Nick sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“I know buddy.”
They both fell silent again. Neither of them felt the need to say anything. They were both tired, and they knew that they weren’t going home anytime soon.

A few minutes later, Granger returned from the lab.
“Ok, now…” He sat down again and folded his hands on the desk in front of him. “I’m going to as you a few questions so that we can start collecting some clues.”
Nick nodded and prepared himself to talk about Ali. It was difficult for him. Every time her name was brought up and he was forced to talk about her, he felt himself tense up.
“First, I want to know about her family. Where are they? Have they been informed about this latest incidence?”
Nick swallowed hard. “Ali’s parents were both killed in a car accident three years ago, when she was 22. She’s an only child. Her grandmother’s still alive, but she has Alzheimer and lives in a retirement home in Tampa. I don’t think she even remembers Ali.” Nick looked down at his hands. “Basically, I’m all she’s got...”
Granger nodded. “And what exactly is your relationship with Alicia?”
“She’s been my best friend since I was five. She’s like a sister to me.”
“So you know her well?”
Nick liked the fact that the Granger talked about Ali as if she was still alive. It made him feel like someone believed him, for once.
“Sometimes I think that I know her better than I know myself.”
“Nick, did Ali have any enemies? Or can you think of anyone who might’ve wanted to hurt her?”
Nick thought for a few moments, and then shook his head.
“Not that I know of…” He said hesitantly.
Todd
“Wait… There was this guy, Todd, she was seeing right before she disappeared.”
“Go on.”
“She was supposed to see him that day when she… you know. I called him when I couldn’t reach her to see if she was with him, but he told me that she never showed up. He seemed angry… at her.”
“Do you think he could’ve done something to her?”
Nick sighed. “Dunno… I didn’t really know him. I’d only met him once, but he had a bad temper, that’s for sure.”
“Ok… we’ll get in touch with him.” Granger continued. “What about her parents? What were their jobs? You know, sometimes, if people are in dept or owe someone money, kidnapping might be an action to get back at someone.”
“But no one ever asked for any kind of ransom…”
“That doesn’t mean they aren’t going to… Now, tell me about her parents. What did they do?” Granger leaned back into his chair and placed his hands behind his head. Nick got a funny feeling that he was watching an episode of CSI.
“Her mom was a teacher. She worked at an elementary school in Ruskin near Tampa. As far as I know and remember, she was always nice to everybody. I can’t imagine her having any enemies. Ali’s dad worked for a computer company as a consultant. I don’t really know much about the company or his relationship with his co-workers. He was a very quiet man, I guess you can say.”
Nick stopped talking, and looked up at Granger. “I guess that’s all I know. I mean, I could give you a list of the people that knew the Parker’s, if that would help… I’ll do anything to help you find her. I just want her back here, where she’s safe.”
“A list would be great Nick. And don’t worry; we’ll do anything in our power to find Alicia.”

Chapter 7

May 2003.

“I like that one. It’s got an edge to it.” Nick said to one of the producers after the song was finished. He was in London, working on his upcoming solo album, trying to find songs that he could use.

Just then, his phone rang. He dug it out from his pocket and smiled when he saw Ali’s number on the display.
“Hey you.” He said into the phone.

No answer

“Ali? You there?”
“Nick….” Her voice was faint.
“Are you ok?”
“Umm… I just.” There was silence for a few seconds, and Nick felt his heart started racing a little faster. “They’re gone, Nick.” She whispered.
Nick frowned, not knowing what she was talking about. “What do you mean?” He could hear Ali struggling to find the right words and keeping her voice steady.
“Mom and dad… they’re gone.”
“What?”
“There was a car accident and they…” Her voice trailed off.
“Oh my god…”
“Nick, do you think that maybe ---“
“I’m on my way.”

Nick walked up the stairs to the house where he had been so many times. The atmosphere was different, and he dreaded to knock on the front door and face Ali. He wouldn’t know what to say, or what to do. He had hopped on the first plane from London to Orlando, but it had still taken him nearly 24 hours to get there.

Slowly, he lifted his right hand and placed two solid knocks on the wooden surface. A few seconds later, he heard footsteps from inside, and he took a deep breath as the door was opened and he came face to face with Ali. He instantly pulled her into a hug and held on to her as he felt her whole body tremble.

“Hi…” He said, without letting go of her.
“Hi…”
“How’re you holding up?”
“Ok I guess.” Her voice was, to Nick’s surprise, strong and clear. He had expected her to break down in his arms, but she didn’t show any signs of doing so.
“You’re trembling.”
“I’m a bit cold.” She spoke like she was reading a script.

Nick finally let her go. He placed his hands on her shoulders and took a step back to look at her. She looked awfully tired. Her eyes were bloodshot, she wore no make up and her face was pale. Her hair was pulled up in a pony tale, with locks of it, falling down in her face. She was wearing grey sweat pants and a black Metallica t-shirt that Nick had once owned.
Ali looked down and took a step aside, so that Nick could enter the apartment. He walked inside, closing the door behind him and followed Ali into the living area.

“I need to make a few phone calls. Just sit down and I’ll be right back.” She said and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Nick alone before he got the chance to reply.

Nick sighed as he sat down on the couch. He knew she was trying to be strong and shut her feelings inside. She hated to cry in front of him, and she rarely did. She could talk about her feelings, but she never cried. He could hear her voice coming from the kitchen. She sounded tired as she spoke. He could hear her finish the conversation, and then different noises coming from the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Ali returned, carrying a tray of drinks that she placed on the coffee table in front of Nick. There was a glass of water, a bottle of beer, a box of ice tea and a glass of coke.
“I didn’t know what you wanted to drink, or if you wanted anything to drink at all, so I just took what I had… I have coffee too. Do you want coffee? I’ll just---“
“Ali…” Nick interrupted. “Come here. Sit down.” He patted on the spot next him. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be strong right now. Just sit down and rest for a little while. You haven’t slept in almost two days.”
“I don’t need to sleep Nick. There’s so much to do. I’m meeting with the funeral agency in three hours, and I have to decide what kinda flower arrangements I want, what hymns I want to use, the colour of the coffins and the shape of the gravestone. I have to set a date for the funeral and I have a hundred calls to make.”

Nick sighed, stood up from the couch and walked over to Ali who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She looked down and pushed away a lock of her hair.

“Ali, sweetie…. Don’t do this to yourself.” He said, almost in a whisper.
“Do what?” She pretended not to understand what he was talking about. “Nick, I have so many things to do right now.” She looked up and turned her head to look out the kitchen window, avoiding his eyes. “I have to call grandma and let her know what happened. She doesn’t even know yet. And I have to call their jobs to inform them that they’re…” Her voice trailed off and she closed her eyes and looked down again.
Nick placed his hands on her shoulders. “Ali, look at me.” His voice was soft, and he was whispering now.
Ali shook her head without looking up.
“It’s ok to cry Ali. You don’t have to be strong for me. Come on, look at me.”
She slowly raised her head and opened her eyes to look at him. The look she gave him tore up his heart and he felt his own eyes swell up with tears as she let out a sob and let tears roll down her cheek.
“Why did they have to leave me…?” She whispered helplessly.
“Oh, Ali…” Nick instantly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. The strength she had shown earlier was suddenly gone, and Nick felt like he was consoling a child.
“Shhhhh, It’s ok, just let it out. I’m here now.” He gently stroke her hair and started rocking her back and forth as she cried in his arms.

~*~

Hours later, Nick was lying in his own bed, looking up at the ceiling and thinking about everything that had happened that night. He and AJ had spent several more hours talking to Officer Granger and after filling out several forms, they were finally able to go home. It was almost noon now, and Nick hadn’t slept since he had gotten home around four in the morning. Granger had told him that he would call as soon as he knew anything about the process. According to Granger, that could take a few hours, or it could be days.

Nick sighed as he closed his eyes. Seconds later his phone started ringing and he quickly sat up feeling his heart skip a beat.

“Hello?” He said, trying not to sound too excited.
“Nick? This is Officer Granger.”
“Officer, hi!”
“I have news regarding Alicia’s case.”
“And…?”
“We’ve spoken to Todd, and I think we can exclude him. He seems sincere, although I do understand your concern. He’s a bit aggressive, I guess you can say. But we are keeping him under our surveillance.”
“Ok…” Nick said, sounding a bit disappointing.
I should’ve known… it was too easy.

“I did get the result back from the lab regarding the envelope and the bracelet. The bracelet has both your and Alicia’s DNA on it, so I guess that confirms what we already knew. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to collect any fingerprints from the envelope.”
Nick felt his heart sink, but Granger continued to speak.
“However, we did find traces of salvia on the back of the stamp. The DNA belongs to a Diametric Karkaroff. He’s been convicted for robbery and his current address is in a small town called Nefedowa in Siberia in Russia.”
Nick choked. “Siberia?”

You’ve got to be kidding me…

“Do you know anyone there?” Granger asked, sensing Nick’s reaction.
“It’s the name of one of our songs….”
Granger paused for a few seconds.“It doesn’t have to mean anything, you know.”
Nick nodded to himself. “I know… it’s just… weird.”
“We’re sending a team of our investigators to Nefedowa tomorrow. I’m going too. You can come with us if you want, at your own expense and risk, of course.”
“I’ll come.” Nick said quickly without hesitation.
Granger chucked a little.“I figured you would. I’ll call you later tonight to give you the details.”
“Ok.”
“Bye.”
“Bye Officer.”

Nick hung up, and looked down at his cell phone. He quickly dialled a familiar number and waited for an answer.

“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. Pack your bags. We’re going to Russia.”

Chapter 8

“I can’t believe I agreed to come with you.”

AJ sat down on Nick’s bed, watching his friend tossing clothes out of his closet. It was the next morning, and they were getting ready to leave for Russia in a few hours.

“Black or blue?”
“Huh?” AJ looked questionably at Nick.
“Black shirt or blue shirt?” Nick asked, holding up a shirt in each hand.
“Shirts? You’re bringing shirts?
“Well, I have to wear something…” Nick said, still holding up the two shirts.
AJ sighed. “But shirts? Nick, we’re not going there to party. We’re gonna follow these police officers around all day. It’s fucking Siberia, you’re gonna freeze your balls off…”
“AJ…” Nick whined.
He sighed again. “Fine… blue.”
“Or black?”
“No, blue Nick. Cause it brings out the colour in your eyes.” AJ said sarcastically.
“…?”
“Don’t ask!”
“Okeeeey…. Blue it is then.” Nick said, tossing the blue shirt on top of the pile of clothes that he was bringing.
“Geez Nick. If I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought you were moving there. You’re bringing more clothes than I am.”
Nick shrugged. “Well… gotta be prepared. Who knows how long we’re gonna be there. I’m not leaving Russia without Ali.” He said, moving over to the huge blue suitcase that was placed on the floor in the middle of the room, and started packing the clothes that he had collected on the bed. “Besides… we’re not starting recording again until September. That’s six months from now.”
“Nick… you can’t stay in Russia for six months.” AJ said, surprised that Nick had even considered doing so.
“I will if I have to.”
“But, what are you gonna---“
“AJ… please.” Nick interrupted. “There’s nothing you can say to convince me otherwise. I’m not asking you to stay that long.”
“Well, I can’t just leave you there!”
Nick looked up at AJ and shrugged before he continued packing.
“You’re lucky I love ya…” AJ mumbled under his breath, not sure if Nick had heard him or not.

In a way, AJ was relived that something finally had happened with the Ali case. It was hard for him and the rest of the guys to see Nick as miserable as he had been for the past year. Nick was one of his best friends, and AJ just couldn’t imagine what he was going through. Just the thought of any of the guys disappearing like Ali had, scared him beyond his own imagination. Watching Nick continue packing, AJ thought back at the conversation he had had with Brian on the phone the night before.

“I just pray that this isn’t another dead end…” AJ sighed after telling Brian about the letter from Russia, and the trip that he and Nick were going on the following day.
“I know man. He’s been through so much. He deserves an answer to all of this. And I mean, I know it’s wrong to say or think this, but I really hope they find her, dead or alive, just so that he can get some closure.”
“I know, but I mean, he’s still so certain that she’s still alive.”
”I’m glad he has faith.”
“Yea, I know.” AJ agreed. “Could you just imagine if that was one of us missing? I don’t think I could’ve given up either. Just thinking about it makes me sick.”
“I can’t imagine it either. Nick’s strong though, and I’m glad he has you there to support him. And don’t forget, I’m only a phone call away if you need to talk.”
”Yea, thanks Bri. Listen, I should start packing.”
“I’ll let you go. Say hi to Nick for me, k?”
“Will do. I’ll call you when we’ve arrived Russia. Tell Leigh I said hi.”
“Ok. Have a safe trip.”
“Bye”
“Bye Jay.”

Talking to Brian had made AJ realise that despite his doubts when it came to finding Ali, he at least had to be there for Nick. He knew it meant a lot to his friend that he was going with him.

“All set!” Nick said, interrupting his thoughts.
That was fast…
“Ok… I guess it’s time to leave then.” AJ said, standing up from the bed and walking towards the door.
“Hey Jay.”
“Yea.” He turned around.
“Thanks for doing this man.”
“No problem. I know you would’ve done the same for me.”

~*~

The letter.
That was all she could think of. Had it reached him? Would it ever reach him? When?

She had so many questions, and knowing that she might never get the answers she needed, tore her apart. She never thought she could miss someone this much. And as she sat there, thinking about him, she realised that it was the little things that she longed for. Things that she had always taken for granted.

Like laughing at his jokes when no one else did, the way he watched over her like she was his little sister, how he never took no for an answer, the way he pouted when he didn’t get his way. She only had the memories now, but as she thought of it, se realised that even his face was starting to fade. What if one day, he would find her, and she wouldn’t recognise him. The thought of it brought tears to her eyes and a small sound escaped her lips.

Pulling the blanket up to her chin, she leaned her head back against the cold wall and looked up at the ceiling. The room was dark again. It seemed forever since she had seen daylight, and she had lost track of day and night. She guessed it was close to midnight, and with that thought, she knew her visitor wasn’t far away.

And she was right. A few minutes later, the heavy wooden door cracked open, and a figure entered the room. She had gotten used to his appearance by then, and she knew that she was facing an hour, maybe two, of listening to him speaking, and only guessing what he was talking about. She waited for him to start, but moments passed, as he stood still in the corner without showing any sign of doing so. She could feel him staring at her, even though she couldn’t see his face.
She never saw his face.

Suddenly, she felt herself tense up and she shifted uncomfortably, pulling her legs up to her chin.

“You… are … cold…? Yes?

She froze...
He had spoken to her. In English… Maybe she was imagining things. But he had said something, and she understood him.
She wanted to replay, but she couldn’t find the words to say. Before she even had the time to think about it, he spoke again.

“This room… cold.”

His English was bad.
She could barely understand what he was saying, but she understood.
And, yes… she was cold. As cold as she’d ever been.

There was something about his voice. It was sad, but yet, it scared her. He seemed restless in a way, like he had prepared for this moment for a long time. The thought scared her. What had he been preparing for? She got a feeling that it was more to it than just speaking to her in her own language.

She looked up at him, trying to catch a glimpse of his features, but it was dark, and he was still hiding in the corner of the room. Just as she was about to look away again, he took a step forward and revealed himself in the dim light from a crack in the door.

She let out a small cry.

His face was covered in scars, his nose was disfigured and somewhere in the dim light, she could trace the outline of a broken jaw. As she watched him, he continued to take small steps closer to her, and she could feel herself shiver.

“I… am … sorry.”

He reached her mattress and leaned over her. She could feel herself becoming dizzy from the fear that washed over her, and she closed her eyes in hopes that he wouldn’t hurt her.

Chapter 9

“All set?” AJ asked as they were about to get in the limo that was taking them to the airport.
Nick paused for a few moments. “Actually, would you mind waiting here for just a few minutes? I have something I gotta do before we leave.”
“Yea, sure. But don’t take too long, ok? We have a plane to catch.”
Nick just nodded and turned around.

It was still early in the morning and the beach below Nick’s house was still deserted. The ocean was calm, and the sound of the waves gave Nick a comforting feeling. He made his way over to a large rock down by the shore. It was a place he used to go to when he needed to be alone and let his mind wander. Ever since Ali had been gone, it was a place he visited frequently, not only because the ocean gave him serenity, but also because it was the one place where he felt connected to her. Somewhere, beyond the sea, she might be waiting for him to find her.

Nick walked over to the rock and sat down on the cold surface. The sun was just rising, and the colours that it gave away made it look like the ocean was on fire. He cherished moments like this. Looking out over the water, he silently started talking.

“Hey Ali…” He began. “I know you can’t hear me, but I just wanted to tell you to hang in there. I’m on my way, ok? We’re leaving for Russia in a few hours, and if that is where you are, I’ll find you. I mean, I will find you eventually, no matter where you are.” He sighed and looked around; making sure that he was still alone. Not a person was in sight. He turned to face the waves again. “I miss my best friend, Ali… so much.” He looked up, taking a deep breath and letting out a small laugh. “I know… I know… I’m pathetic.”

He knew that if Ali had seen him at that moment, she would have laughed at him and told him not to act like such a brat. But at the same time, he also knew that she would have appreciated all the thoughts he had given her and the effort he had made to find her over the past year. He cast one last look at the ocean, and jumped down from the rock.
“Guess it’s time to go.” He whispered, before he turned around and headed back to the limo.

~*~

“Mr. Carter, Mr. McLean, how are you?” Officer Granger made his way over to Nick and AJ as they approached the departure gate approximately one hour later. Nick shook his hand, as did AJ.
“We’re good officer. Ready to board that plane.”
“We still have another thirty minutes though.” Granger said as he led Nick and AJ over to a bench where two officers were waiting. “Let me introduce you to the team that is coming with us. This is Investigator Tanner and Officer Simmons.”
A man in his early forties stood up and shook Nick’s hand. “How are you Mr. Carter? I’m investigator Tanner, but please, just call me Cody.”
Nick smiled at him. “Nice to meet you. Oh, and it’s Nick.” Cody nodded and smiled back at him as he shook AJ’s hand.
Nick turned his attention over to the other officer standing in front of him. It was a woman around his age, maybe a few years older. She was tall, around 5”10, her blond hair was pulled back in a pony tale, and her uniform seemed, to Nick at least, to be at least half a size too small. She was a very attractive woman, and Nick couldn’t help but stare at her well fitted body.
“This is Officer Simmons.” Granger introduced her.
“Please, call me Tara.” Her voice was strong and confident as she shook his hand.
“This is Tara’s first real case.” Granger informed, and Nick nodded.
“But don’t worry. I still have a lot of practice.” She looked at Nick without letting go of his hand. Nick could swear he saw a twinkle in her eye. He pulled himself away from her firm grip, put his hands nervously in his pockets and forced himself to look away. Tara moved her attention to AJ, who seemed just as intimidated as Nick felt.
Before neither of them had the chance to speak, Granger interrupted again.
“We’ve already been in contact with the police authority in Russia and Siberia, and they’re already on the case. They’ve been looking for Alicia for a few hours already. I faxed them the photograph and all the information that was collected a year ago. They promised to keep us updated until we get there.”
“How long will it take us to get to Russia?” AJ asked, knowing that Nick was wondering that same thing. They hadn’t had much time to plan this trip, yet alone have a look at the itinerary.
“We’ll be there around this time tomorrow morning. Local time, that is. Russia is about 8 hour ahead of us.”
“That’s a long flight…” Nick muttered.
“Have a seat,” Granger gestured toward a bench. “I’ll fill you in on the details.”

~*~

She shivered as he reached out and grabbed her upper arm. His grip was firm, and she winched in pain as he forced her to stand up.

“Cold? Yes?” He talked slowly with a firm voice.
She didn’t know what to say, so she nodded her head slowly.
He didn’t reply.

She couldn’t take her eyes off him. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. The scars on his face were so large. They bore into his cheeks and made his skin look almost like plastic.
Unreal.
She couldn’t help but feel almost sorry for him, and she suddenly understood why he had been hiding in the dark for over a year.

“Answer me!”
She felt her heart skip a beat as he shook her roughly and brought his face even closer to his.
Tears filled her eyes again and she blinked fast a few times to make them disappear.
“Yes…” She whispered. “I’m cold.”
“You come with me.”
She wanted to hold back and scream no, but he dragged her with him before she even got the chance to catch her breath. The tears she was trying to hold back, now rolled freely down her pale cheek, and she closed her eyes for a few moments before she took a step outside the room, for the first time without being blindfolded.

It was dark outside. She could see the outlines of several small buildings as she looked around. There was no one else around; no lights were on inside the buildings, no sounds could be heard.

It was a like ghost town. She shivered as he dragged her along the deserted streets, not knowing where she would end up.

Chapter 10.

“Are you comfortable?” Tara said as she sat down next to Nick, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He had been trying to avoid her for as long as he could, begging AJ to sit next to him and keeping him busy by pretending to discuss an important matter. It had worked fine, up until nature called, and AJ had to leave his seat for a few minutes.
10 seconds, that was all it took for her to stand up and sit down next to him.
“Yea, I’m good.” Nick said without looking at her.
“Ever been to Russia before?”
“Yea, a couple of times.” He tried keeping his answer as short as possible.
“Do you travel a lot?”
She obviously doesn’t know who I am.
“Yea, I guess…”
“So what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a musician.”
“Oh, really? I love musicians!”
Shocker!
Tara shifted in her seat, and Nick could swear he felt her moving closer to him. Her thigh was brushing against his and he moved a few inches closer to the window.
Come on AJ… get back here.
“So, how long have you known Alicia?”
No… please don’t go there. He closed his eyes briefly and sighed.
“Umm… over 20 years.”
“Were you ever more than just friends?” Tara looked over at Nick who was still looking out of the window.
He shrugged. He didn’t want to talk about it, but figured that if he wanted her to leave him alone he might as well tell her, so that she wouldn’t have to ask so many questions later. He took a deep breath and turned to face her. She seemed surprised by his sudden change of behaviour, but took it to her advantage by giving him a look that almost made Nick chance his mind. He paused for a few seconds before he started talking.
“You know, there was a time, a long time ago when we both asked ourselves that same question. We were in our early teens, and everyone around us were commenting on how good we were together, and that we should maybe consider going out. So we tried the whole dating, kissing thing, and it just felt completely wrong. I don’t think we were meant to be together like that. She’s more like a sister to me. I think she knows me better than any girlfriend ever will, and I guess that’s the way I want it to be.
Tara nodded. “I see… I wish I had someone like that.”
“I just hope she’s ok.” Nick continued. “This year has been hell to me. The thought of losing her is just…” His voice trailed off, and he hoped that he was sending out a clear message to Tara that he didn’t want to talk about it any more. To his surprise, she took the hint.
“I’ll just leave you alone.” She patted his thigh, making him shift uncomfortably in his seat. He nodded in return, and turned his head to look out of the window again. Seconds later, AJ returned, and Nick let out a sigh of relief, relaxing a little as he let his mind wander off.

~*~

August 1995

Nick walked nervously up the familiar stairs to Ali’s house, gripping a small bouquet of flowers in his right hand. He and Ali were going on their first official date. Just the thought of it made him feel uncomfortable. It had been his sister BJ’s idea, and after considering it for a few weeks, he had talked to Ali about it. She had, to his surprise, agreed, and so, here he was standing outside her door debating whether to turn around and run or not.
“It’s now or never Carter.” He said to himself as he lifted his hand and rang the doorbell. Seconds later, Ali opened the door and stepped outside.
Nick raised his eyebrows.
“What are you wearing?” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but it was what he was thinking when he saw her.
Ali hit him playfully on his chest and he stumbled a few feet backwards.
“A dress… duh! You like it?” She smiled at him, as she twirled around, letting the fabric of the black dress float around her ankles.
“I… I guess.” Nick replied nervously. “Oh… here.” He handed her the bouquet he had been hiding behind his back.
“Aww… Thanks Nick. Give me two minutes, and I’ll just put these in water. I’ll be right back.”
She turned around on her heels and walked inside again, leaving Nick alone. He stood still for a few seconds before he started pacing back and forth.
“Now is the time to run Carter…” He continued talking to himself. “No… I can’t do that to her. I have to give it a chance.” He stopped walking. “She’s wearing a dress. She never wears a dress when she’s with me. I didn’t even know she had a dress.” He started pacing again. “Oh god… What do you do Carter? I’m just gonna---“
“Are you talking to yourself again Nick?”
He turned around quickly, looking nervously down at his feet. “Noooo. I’m just, you know…”
“You’re too weird Carter.” Ali laughed and grabbed his hand. “Ready to go?”
Nick took a deep breath and nodded. “Yea. Let’s go.”

The dinner was nice. Nick managed to relax after a while, as he realized that it was the same Ali he knew and was used to, that was sitting next to him It felt awkward in the beginning, knowing that he was out on a date with his best friend, but he forced himself to stop thinking that it was a date, and just enjoy the time with Ali. After dinner, they went for a walk on the beach. They had been avoiding the subject of the whole dating thing up until then, but they both knew that they had to talk about it eventually. It was Ali who first brought it up.
“So, what do you think?”
“About what?” Nick asked, very well aware of what she was referring to.
“The date. Us. You know…”
Nick stopped walking and turned to face the ocean. “I… umm… It’s, you know…”
“Weird…?” Ali finished for him.
Nick shrugged. “Yea.”
She nodded, but Nick continued. “I mean, don’t take this the wrong way Al. You know I love you and all, but you’re my best friend, and it just feels a bit awkward, I guess. It’s a different situation.”
Ali nodded again. “I agree Nick. I mean, I have to admit it sounded like a good idea at first, but I don’t know. But I mean… we could try to… you know…”
Nick looked confused. “Try what?”
Ali looked down and started kicking her bare foot in the sand. “You know… we could try to… umm… kiss, maybe?”
Nick swallowed hard. “Kiss? Now?”
She shrugged. “Yea.”
“I… ok.”
“Ok?”
“Yea, ok?”
Ali looked up again. ”Right.”
They turned to face each other, and Nick nervously took her hands in his.
He could feel her shaking a little, but then again, he was probably shaking too, so he decided not to say anything.
“Close you eyes.” He said, and she did as he told her.
Slowly, he bent down and pressed his lips gently on hers. He lingered there for a few seconds before he felt her responding to the kiss. After a few moments, they pulled away, avoiding each others gaze.
“Sooo.” Ali said nervously.
“I…”
A few seconds later, they both burst out laughing.
“Definitely not.”
“Oh my god!”
“What were we thinking?”
“I can’t believe I kissed you!”
Nick breathed out a sight of relief. It was good to know that they were friends, and only friends.

~*~

The rest of the flight went by slowly for Nick. All he wanted was to get to Russia and start looking for Ali. So it was with great anticipation that he finally entered his hotel room in Nefedowa, Siberia. He knew that he should be resting for a few hours before he started doing what he was there for, but he couldn’t bring himself to go to bed. It was noon, but still, there was barely light outside. He walked over to the window and looked outside. Snow was covering the ground, and he knew instantly that he should’ve brought more warm clothes to wear.

He sat down on the bed. They had all agreed to meet in the hotel lobby four hours later, after everyone had gotten some rest.
Four hours… Too long.
He sighed and lay down on the bed, starting up at the ceiling. Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He quickly sat up and dug into his pocket, pulling out the phone.
“Hello?” He said fast.
“Nick? It’s Granger.”
Nick frowned, wondering why he was calling him when they just agreed to meet a few hours later.
“Hi.”
“I… I’m just gonna say this as it is Nick. Are you sitting down?”
“Yes…”
“I just got off the phone with the local police. Nick… they’ve found a body.”

Chapter 11

Nick sat down on the bed. His head was spinning, and he suddenly felt like he was going to be sick.
They’d found a body…

Ali’s body?

He didn’t even want to think about it. It was just so sudden. They had just arrived, and this was the last thing that he had expected. The thought of seeing Ali, dead, lying before him, was just too much for him to handle. He had no idea what he was going to do if his nightmare became reality.

His phone rang again. He picked it up and took a deep breath before he answered. He already knew who was on the other end of the line.

“Nick, I just heard… Are you ok?” AJ’s voice filled his ear.
Nick sighed. “I don’t know.” He whispered silently.
“I don’t know what to say…”
“Umm…” Nick tried to remain calm, but he could feel his voice cracking up as he spoke. “Granger told us to meet them downstairs to go to the morgue… You’re coming, right.”
“Of course, I won’t let you deal with this on your own, you know.”
“Thanks bro.”
“I’ll see you downstairs then.”
Nick nodded to himself. “Yea…”

Ten minutes later, Nick, AJ and Officer Granger stepped into the van that was going to take them to the morgue. Nick had barely said a word since he met the others in the lobby, and AJ didn’t want to say something wrong, so he decided it was best to leave it up to Nick if he wanted to talk about it. He feared that the ride to the morgue would be the longest hour and a half in his life.

~*~

Nick felt as if the walls were closing in on him. He couldn’t breathe or think, and everything around him seemed foggy. He was slowly walking into the white, sterile room, where a person was lying on a metal table, covered by a white sheet. A man, also wearing white, was standing next to the table, ready to reveal what was underneath. Nick reached him, and looked down. He could see the outline of a face thought the fabric, and he swallowed hard. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion, and with a single gesture, he signalled to the man that he was ready. Seconds later, he found himself face to face with his worst nightmare. He felt like he was going to pass out when he saw her pale, lifeless face in front of him. She looked just like the last time he saw her, but then again, she looked totally different. He had to close his eyes, and for a moment, he felt his heart stop beating.

“Nick… Nick… Nicky?” The voice seemed distant to Nick as he jerked out of his dream and opened his eyes.
“You ok man? You’re really pale…”
He looked around confused. “AJ?”

They were still in the car. It had been a dream. A bad dream…

“Are you ok?” AJ asked again, looking at Nick with a concerned expression on his face.
“I… I just. Man, it was so real…”
“What?”
“I had this dream… about Ali. I saw her… at the morgue.” Nick said, still sounding confused.
AJ raised his eyebrows. “Oh man…”
“It was so real Jay.” He looked down at his hands and closed his eyes, trying to shake away the image of Ali lying dead before him.
AJ didn’t know what to say, so he just remained silent, letting Nick get some time to calm down.
“How long ‘til we’re there?” Nick asked after a few minutes of silence.
AJ shrugged. “Not too long, I think. We’ve been driving for over an hour.”
Nick only nodded and turned to look out the window, taking in the deserted landscape covered in snow.

~*~

“You ready?” AJ rested a hand on Nick’s shoulder as they slowly made their way down the deserted corridor, their voices echoing down the hall as they spoke.
Nick swallowed hard.
“How can I be ready for something like this Jay? What if it’s her?” He looked down. “You know, that dream was so real. She was so real. It was like… like I felt a piece of me die too. If that is her in there, I might as well join her.”
AJ stopped walking and turned to look at Nick. “Don’t say that. You’re scaring me Nick. Do you honestly want us to go through what you’re feeling right now?”
Nick shrugged and started walking again. “Then tell me what I’m going to do without her!”
“Well, you made it through last year…”
“Yea, but only because I had hope. If I find out for sure that she’s gone now, what do I have left?”
AJ sighed. “You have us.” He whispered, looking at his friend that seemed paler than he’d ever been. “And your family.”
“Yea, a family that’s falling apart.”
“What about ---“
Nick raised his hand. “AJ, just… don’t!” He closed his eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath.
They reached the end of the corridor and were met by Granger, who was sitting on a bench, waiting for them.
“You ok?” Granger stood up and looked at Nick.
“I don’t know…” He replied helplessly.
“Why don’t you sit down for a few minutes, and I’ll tell you what they told me.”
Nick nodded and sat down, resting his elbows on his knees.
“They found her inside an old building in the neighbour town. Now, the towns in this area are very small, and they are very close to each other. They share a police force, schools, medical centre, and about everything else there is to share. So just because they didn’t find her in Nefedowa, doesn’t mean that it’s not her, just so that you don’t get your hopes up. They didn’t find any identification on her, so she could be Russian, American… we don’t know. It’s hard to tell. She does match the description we have on Alicia though. She’s been dead for less than 24 hour, so she looks pretty decent.” Granger stopped and looked at Nick, who still looked terribly pale. “Have you ever seen a dead body before Nick?”
Nick shook his head.
“She looks like she’s sleeping; only she’s very pale. When you enter the room, she’ll be covered with a white sheet, and there will be someone there who will reveal her face once you signal that you’re ready, ok? If it’s her, you need to stay for further investigation, if it’s not, we’ll leave as soon as you get out.”
Granger gestured towards a closed door across the corridor. “So… whenever you’re ready.”

Nick took a deep breath and stood up.
“Want me to come with you?” AJ asked hesitantly.
“No…” Nick shook his head. “I think I need to do this on my own. If it’s her… I need to be alone with her.”
AJ nodded to show that he understood, and took a step to the side so that Nick could walk over to the closed door.

Ok, here goes nothing…

As soon as Nick entered the room, he felt like he was entering the dream, except the person standing next to the table, was a woman and not a man. Nick gave her a small nod, and walked over to the table, feeling dizzier by every step. He looked down at the white sheet in front of him, afraid to even think what was underneath it. For a few seconds, he closed his eyes, trying to prepare himself for what he was about to see. A part of him was also praying that he would be somewhere else when he opened them and that this was all a bad dream.

It’s not a dream…

He opened his eyes, and looked at the woman on the other side of the table. He gave her a signal that told her that he was ready, and before he could even take another breath, she had removed the sheet to reveal a pale female face. Nick felt his heart skip several beats, as he looked down at the person lying on the table. He only had to look for a brief second to get the answer he needed, and a second was all it took for him to run over to a steel sink in the corner of the room and throw up.

A minute later he walked out of the room, and past AJ and Granger, to sit down on the bench where he had sat only minutes before. He leaned forward, placing his head in his hands. For a moment, he just sat there, trying to forget what he had just seen.
“Nick…” AJ was the first to speak.
Nick looked up. “It’s not her… it’s not Ali.”

It’s not her.

Chapter 12

The rest of the day seemed, to Nick at least, to be going in slow motion. He was beyond relieved that it wasn’t Ali’s body that they had found, but at the same time, he knew that the image of the young woman in the morgue would haunt him for a long time. He also realized, for the first time, how vulnerable he was when it came to Ali. He had always known how much she meant to him, but he never really realized what he would be without her.

Nick lay down on his bed again; finally back at the hotel after the ride back from the morgue and a long chat with AJ and Granger about the investigation that would start the following day. They would start searching in the small town of Nefedowa where they were staying, and then expand the search and cover the small villages outside of the town. Nick didn’t know what kind of methods they would be using; only that Granger had mentioned something about dogs.

He sighed and dug his hand into his pocket, digging out Ali’s bracelet that he had brought. It had become a symbol to him, and every time he looked at it, or felt it, he was reminded not to lose faith that they would find her eventually.

Tara, the officer, had met them in the lobby when they had gotten back from the morgue. Nick just couldn’t help but feel very intimidated by her. She was always asking him questions that, to him, seemed very strange to be asked by an officer. Most of them were about Ali, and a lot of them were asked with a certain tone in her voice. Like;
Do you think she thinks about you as just a friend? Yes!
Do you really believe she’s still alive? Yes!
Have you ever looked at her in a way one shouldn’t be looking at his best friend?

What??

~*~

*August 2003*

Nick quickly made his way up the stairs to Ali’s apartment, hoping that she would be home. He was going to London the next day to work on some solo stuff, and he wanted to spend the evening with his best friend, hanging out in front of the TV and talk. He reached the front door and was relieved to find it unlocked.

After spending so much time with Ali, he was used to just walk right into her apartment without knocking, as she did when she came to visit him.
He quietly walked through the front door.
“Ali?” He said, while he made his way into the kitchen, only to find it empty. He walked through the kitchen and into the small living area.
“Ali?” He said a bit louder. Just then, he heard noises coming from her bedroom, and he turned around to follow the sounds.

“Hey, there you a---“ He opened the bedroom door, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the scenario taking place on the bed.

Ali was definitely there, and definitely not alone.

In front of him, on the bed, was Ali with some guy Nick had never seen before. And they were definitely very busy. Ali was sitting on top of him, and as Nick entered the room, she quickly let out a small squeal and covered herself with a sheet.

“Oh my god…” Nick turned a deep shade of purple as he realized what he had just walked in on. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes off the bed. It was like he was glued to the floor. For a few seconds, no one said anything. Nick was looking at Ali, Ali was looking at Nick, and the guy underneath Ali, was looking very confused.
“Niiick!!!” Ali shouted as she finally became aware of the situation.
Nick still didn’t respond.
“Nick, get out!” She yelled again, while covering her face in her hands.
“I just…” Nick finally stuttered.
“Get. Out!”
“Sorry, I just---“
“NOW!”
“Fuck…” He mumbled under his breath as he quickly walked out of the room.

A few hours later, he was sitting in his yard, by the pool, his feet in the water, and his face still a deep shade of red. He could not believe he had just walked in on Ali.
And she was completely butt naked. He had seen her breasts.
And they were nice…

“Oh god…” He said to himself as he realized what he was thinking. “No! They were not nice. They weren’t even that big. I should definitely not be thinking about her like that, and definitely not her breasts.”

“Are you talking to yourself again, Carter?”
Nick froze. ‘oh no…’ He turned around to see Ali slowly walking up to him.
“Hi.” She said shyly.
“Hi.” He replied, feeling very uncomfortable.
Ali sat down next to him, dropping her feet in the water, just like Nick.
They both fell silent.

“Nick, about that thi---“
“Ali, I’m really sorry---“
They both said at the same time a few minutes later.
Nick laughed a little. “You go first.”
Ali shook her head. “No, you first.”
Nick sighed. “Alright… I’m really sorry. I should’ve knocked. I’m just so used to walking straight into your apartment and your bedroom, or whatever. Can we just forget it ever happened?”
Ali looked down at the water, making circles with her feet on the surface.
“How can I forget Nick? You saw me having sex with this random guy. You saw me naked! I’m trying so hard not to die out of embarrassment right now, you know---“She paused. “ Nick? Are you checking out my breasts?”
“What? Noooo….” Nick jerked his eyes away from where he obviously had been looking.
Ali brought her hand up and covered her eyes. “Oh my god… You were looking…”
“I was not!”
“Yes, you were!”
“Was not!”
“I can’t believe you!”
“Ali!”
“Niiick!”
Nick stood up from where he was sitting, rolling his eyes.
“This is so stupid, Ali. Ok, so I saw you naked. I’ve seen you naked before…”
“I was five!”
“Yea, well… you know.” He shrugged and walked towards the French doors that led to the kitchen. Ali followed closely behind.
“Nick!” She grabbed his arm just before he disappeared inside. “Look… I… I’m just really embarrassed, ok? And it’s not the fact that you saw me naked. It’s who you saw me with. I don’t want you to think that this is what I do when you’re not around. I don’t usually have sex with random guys. It just happened this one time and---“
“Ali…” Nick interrupted her. “You don’t have to explain. It’s really none of my business. Just… be careful, ok?”
Ali nodded and looked down. “You still love me, right?” she pouted.
Nick smiled a little. “You know I do. You’re my best friend. I’ll always love you, no matter how many stupid things you do.”
“Thanks Prick!”
“You’re never gonna stop calling me that, are you?”
Ali giggled. “Not a chance.”

Chapter 13

The next few days were filled with hard work, anticipation and lack of sleep. Nick and AJ were following Granger and his team around the small town accompanied by three Russian police officers, walking from door to door, asking people if they had seen or heard anything concerning Ali. They were mostly paired up in groups, trying to maintain the capacity that they had and make the most out of every hour that passed. It wasn’t very efficient, but it was the only way to get things into a perspective. None of them knew where to look, and the only way to get a full overview was to talk to the local people to put all the pieces together. So far, they had had no luck.

As the first week was coming to an end, Nick and AJ could both feel the pressure form working non stop for days. Even in their sleep, their minds were working out different ways to improve the investigation, even though none of them knew what the next day would be like. Diametric Karkaroff, the man who’s DNA was found on the envelope, had not been found, and after searching for him on his current address and everywhere else in the small town, they had come to conclude that he had either left the area or was hiding somewhere.

Nick and AJ were now sitting in the lobby, waiting for Granger and his search team to get back. They had been working with Tara and a Russian officer that day, and Nick couldn’t help but feel like he was wasting time when he was working with Tara. She was shoving a very unusual interest in Nick, for a police officer at least, and Nick couldn’t help but think that he was distracting her from doing her job properly. He was also dying to discuss this matter with AJ, but every time he tried, she walked up to them, as if she knew that they were talking about her behind her back. And then, when they finally got back to the hotel after a long day, they were too tired to even consider staying up talking to each other. Nick was about to drag AJ with him to a corner and tell him how he felt about working with Tara, but just as he was about to stand up, Granger and his team walked through the revolving doors and over to the sitting group that had became their meeting spot.

“Hey guys,” Granger said as he approached them. “How’d it go?”
Nick shrugged. “Nothing…” He looked up at Granger and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You?”
Granger sat down opposite to Nick and AJ and signalled for everyone to gather around.
“Actually, I think we might have gotten a clue.”
Nick quickly sat up straight, waiting for Granger to continue.
“We spoke to two teenage boys, just before we got back here, actually, and they claim that they saw a guy and a girl, matching Ali’s description, last night. They were playing around in a small village north from here, called Tura. It’s an old deserted mine village. No one lives there anymore, and according to the boys, people stay away from there because of incidents that happened there in the past. In fact, parts of the area are restricted because most of the deep mines aren’t secured and people can easily fall into one of them. Last night, around midnight, the boys saw a man and a woman walking down the street, but they were too busy hiding from them to get a good look at their faces. They said the woman had long brown hair and that the man was short. At least shorter than the woman. They’re coming with us tomorrow to show us where they saw them.”
“Tomorrow?” Nick interrupted. “Why can’t we go right away?”
Granger shook his head. “Nick, I know you’re eager to find her, but we’re all tired, and we need to rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long day, and we need to be prepared. Besides, we need the Russian team to come with us, and they already went home.”
Nick sighed. “But---“
“No buts Nick. I can’t speak for you, but I am exhausted, and I intend to get some sleep.”
“He’s right Nick.” AJ agreed. “We should really get some sleep.”
Nick ran his fingers through his hair and sighed again. “Alright…”
And with that, they all stood up and headed towards their rooms, eager to get some rest.

~*~

She was cold again.
But this time, she knew there was nothing she could do to stay warm. Hours ago, she had been taken to a place where she had never been before, where she had been tied up and blindfolded. There was no blanket to keep her warm and there was nothing she could do to move herself from the mattress she was lying on.

She didn’t know why she was there, yet, she never really knew why she was taken away from home in the first place. The only thing that kept her from falling apart was the thought of Nick. She knew there was a chance that the letter had reached him, and if it had, he would be on his way looking for her. He was telling her in her dreams, in her thoughts, to hold on.

Hold on….

~*~

AJ was in bed.
The woman in the pink bikini was running towards him, the sun glistening on her wet skin. She was getting closer and closer and ---
*knock, knock*
AJ groaned. “Fuck!” He muttered under his breath as he saw the beauty disappear from his mind. He stirred and slowly opened his eyes. Glancing over at the alarm clock next to the bed, he groaned again.

01:45 AM.

*knock, knock*
Confused, he stumbled out of bed, and walked across the room, careful not to hit anything in the dark. He reached the door and slowly opened it, not surprised to find Nick standing on the other side.
“Nick… what are---?”
“Shhh….” Nick whispered. “Keep your voice down.”
AJ rolled his eyes. “What are you doing here?” he looked at his friend. “And what the heck are you wearing?”
Nick rushed past him and into the room, leaving AJ by the door, looking like a question mark. He was wearing a pair of black boots, black pants, a thick black jacket and a black cap with a black hood over it. To AJ, it looked like he was about to kill someone.
“We’re going out.” Nick said, sitting down on AJ’s bed.
“We are not going anywhere."
“AJ, I can’t wait until tomorrow. If she’s in that village, I have to find her. Now!” Nick threw a bag onto the bed. “I got you the same outfit as I’m wearing.”
AJ stopped in the middle of the room, looking at Nick as if he had lost his mind. “You’ve got to be kidding me?”
Nick smirked and shook his head. “Nope! Here, catch.” He threw the bag at AJ. “Get dressed. The taxi will be here to pick us up in ten minutes.”
“I’m not going.” AJ protested.
“Please! I can’t go by myself.”
AJ shook his head, determined to get back under the covers.
“Come on Jay” Nick argued “… this is what we’re here for. To find Ali.”
“We don’t know anything about the place Nick, and we shouldn’t go there without Granger. At least not wearing an outfit like that. People will definitely get suspicious if they see us.”
“No one is going to see us. It’s in the middle of the night. AJ… Ali is out there somewhere, and I’m not going to sit and wait for things to happen when I can do something about it myself. Please AJ. Do it for me.”
AJ sighed and ran a hand across his face. “I must be out of my mind…”
Nick smiled. “Thanks man.” He stood up and handed the bag over to AJ who unwillingly accepted it. Without a word, he walked into the bathroom to get changed.

~*~

“I knew this was a bad idea.” AJ said with a shivering voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this cold in my entire life.”
They were standing on a street corner, looking around, trying to find some kind of clue to where they could start looking. The village looked worse than they had imagined. It was completely deserted, and the buildings looked like they were going to fall apart any minute.
“Cause it’s all so dark and mysterious…” Nick sang.
AJ laughed sarcastically. “You sure know when to say the right things…”
Nick shrugged. “Come on, let’s start over there.” He started walking towards a small house at the end of the street, AJ following closely behind.

Half an hour passed and Nick and AJ were starting to feel the cold. They had been through half of the houses in the village by then and still, there was nothing. Nick kept looking for footprints in the snow, but whenever he saw something, it was either his own or AJ’s.
“Nick, I honestly think we should get back. Seriously, I can’t feel my legs…”
“Just fifteen more minutes.”
“Fifteen minutes, and not a second longer.”
Nick nodded and made his way across the street. Just then, in the corner of his eye, he saw a shadow moving. He quickly pulled AJ by the arm and pressed himself up against a cold wooden wall.
“What the---“
“Shhh… there’s someone there!” Nick whispered, urging AJ to hide behind a post. AJ was about to respond when they both saw a shadow moving towards them.
They held their breaths.
As the shadow was getting closer, a man appeared in the middle of the street. He was walking straight towards them with determined steps, his face hidden by the darkness.
Nick and AJ exchanged looks and seconds later, the man had stopped right in front of them. Nick knew he had seen them, and he felt his pulse rise as the man pulled out something from his pocket.
A gun.
His heart skipped a beat and he looked over at AJ who seemed just as petrified.
No words were exchanged.
The man raised his hand and aimed the gun at Nick, not once showing any sign of hesitation.
“No…” Nick muttered under his breath.
“NOOOO!” Before Nick had the chance to react, AJ stood up and threw himself in front of Nick just as the gun went off.
“AJ, NOOOO!”

Chapter 14

It all went by so fast and before Nick had the chance to react, he found himself lying on the cold ground, feeling AJ’s weight on his chest. For a few seconds he feared the worst, but before he even had the chance to move, AJ rolled of off him and cried out in pain. Nick looked up, just in time to see a shadow disappear behind an old building across the street.
“Shit, shit, shit!” AJ cried out next to him, and Nick turned his attention in AJ’s direction.
“AJ, oh my god… Are you ok?” he asked, trying not to sound as scared as he felt.
“Fuck, it hurts!”
“What hurts? Did you get hit?” Nick felt panic rising in his voice as AJ nodded slowly.
“My arm…” AJ winched in pain.
“Fuck…” Nick muttered under his breath.
“Man, it hurts.”
“Let me see it.”
Nick reached out for AJ’s arm and studied it carefully.
“I don’t see anything…”
“The other arm, Nick.”
He moved around and grabbed AJ’s left arm. Because of the black jacket that AJ was wearing, it was hard to see if there was any blood, but as soon as Nick touched the fabric, he felt his hands touching something fluent and wet. He looked down, and let out a small gasp when he saw the amount of blood that was covering his hands.
“Shit, you’re bleeding.”
AJ didn’t say anything, so Nick continued to speak.
“I can’t believe this is happening… What do we do now?” He didn’t know if he was talking to himself, or if AJ heard him, but seconds later, he got a weak reply.
“Granger. Call Granger.” AJ whispered with his eyes closed.
Nick pulled out his cell phone and after a brief conversation with Granger, explaining where they were and what had happened, he turned his attention back to AJ.
“He’s on his way. How are you feeling?” Nick kneeled down next him, holding onto AJ’s injured arm.
“Spectacular…” He whispered, laughing a little of the irony in his own voice.
“Just hold on, ok? They’ll be here soon.”
Nick looked down at his friend, feeling helpless and guilty while trying to come up with something to do to treat the shot wound.
Stop the bleeding.
Nick grabbed the scarf around his own neck and lifted AJ’s hand slightly. Feeling the movement in his arm, AJ cried out in pain, sending a knife though Nick’s heart.
“I’ll have to stop the bleeding, ok?” With a quick gesture, he tied the scarf around the wound, making AJ cry out again.
A few minutes of silence followed. AJ was breathing heavily, trying not to make too many sounds, and Nick was once again feeing extremely guilty for what had just happened. This was his fault. If he hadn’t been so selfish and forced AJ to come along, this would never have happened.
“AJ…” Nick said after a while. There was no response, but Nick knew AJ could hear him. “I’m really sorry…”

~*~

“What the heck were you thinking?”
Nick had never seen Granger angry before, but there was always a time for everything.
They were sitting on the only bench in the hall of the small clinic in Nefedowa, that is, Nick was sitting, Granger was pacing around pulling his hair – or rather what was left of it, waiting for news on AJ’s condition.
“I’m sorry I ju---“
“Nick, you are not a police officer! You have no idea how dangerous this job can get. Well, I guess you do now, but… what were you thinking, playing hero like that?” His voice was stern, and he was spitting out every word.
Nick leaned forward, resting his head in his hands that still had AJ’s blood on them.
“I….I…” I whispered avoiding Granger’s gaze.
“Didn’t I tell you even before we arrived here to leave the investigation up to me? Do you realize what you’ve done? You might’ve spoiled everything!”
“DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?” Nick yelled as he stood up and leaned his back against the white wall. Lowering his voice a little, he continued. “The only thing I wanted was to get Ali back, and because of that, I might’ve lost my other best friend too. GOD!” He slammed his fist into the wall and let himself sink down so that he was sitting on the cold floor. Granger walked up to him, obviously feeling guilty for his little outburst.
“Nick…” He said in a more gentle tone “AJ’s gonna be fine. He was just shot in the arm. It won’t kill him.”
Nick sighed, fighting back the tears. “I know that, but do you honestly think that he’ll ever forgive me for this?”
Granger was about to reply when a doctor approached them. Nick quickly stood up, and walked over to stand next to Granger.
“You can see him now.” The doctor said with a thick accent, obviously feeling uncomfortable with speaking a foreign language.
“Thank you.” Granger replied. “You go first.” He said to Nick and gestured towards the door that led into the small room where AJ was lying.
Nick nodded and took a deep breath before he entered the room.
“Hey buddy.” He tried to force a smile and lighten the mood as he approached AJ who was lying on an examination bed, his injured arm covered with a heavy bandage.
“Hi.”
To Nick’s surprise, AJ was smiling back.
“How’re you feeling?”
“Like someone just cut my arm off…”
Nick laughed a little.
A nervous laugh.
The boys fell silent for a few moments, and Nick felt like he should say something. He cleared his throat and sat down on a chair next to AJ.
“Listen…I’m really sorry abo---.”
“Nick… don’t.” AJ raised his hand slightly.
“But I ---“
“I’m serious Nick. I know what you’re gonna say. This was not your fault, ok? I chose to go with you tonight, and I know you didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Nick looked down, still feeling guilty, but relieved at the same time.
“Why did you do it?”
“Why did I go with you?”
Nick shook his head. “No… why did you throw yourself in front of me when you knew he was going to shoot me?”
“Nick… you could’ve gotten killed.”
“So could you.”
AJ sighed. “It was just a natural thing to do, I guess… I didn’t really have the time to think about it, I just knew that I couldn’t sit there and watch. Nick, you’re my brother. I’ll take a bullet for you any time.”
Nick just sat there stunned. He didn’t know what to say.
“I…” he started, but cut himself off from lack of words.
AJ smiled. “Don’t look so surprised. Hey, just look at it this way. It’s a good thing I’m right handed.”

As the night went into morning, AJ was released, with a note from the doctor to rest the following day and return to the hospital the next evening to get his wound rinsed, and his bandage changed. Granger had decided to have one officer from the investigation team on patrol in the village of Tura at all times, night and day. It was important for them not to miss anything, after the incidence that same night. Tara was the first one to stand guard, as she was with Granger when he drove there after getting the phone call from Nick. The next day, Granger took over for Tara, and Nick insisted on going too. Tara was sent back to the hotel to join AJ, and Cody, the other officer, was working with the Russian team as they had been doing before.

Later that day, AJ was walking down the hall to go to the restaurant downstairs to have lunch. As he passed Tara’s room, he noticed that the door was slightly open, and he could hear Tara’s voice from inside of the room. He tried to resist stopping outside to listen to her conversation, but as he was about to walk past her door, he found himself slowing down, listening carefully to what Tara was saying.

“Yea, I know… no… no I’m not gonna tell them what I saw… I’m telling you, his world revolves around her. I don’t stand a chance…no… yea … I know that’s why I’m here, I just need him to forget about her…yea, I know… best friends my ass.”

AJ stood frozen outside the door. He wasn’t sure if what he heard was what he though he was hearing, or if his mind was playing pranks on him.

“I just have to make sure that she’s not found… yea, yea… I’ll be careful. I’ll call you later.”

AJ realized that Tara was about to hang up, and he forced himself to move away from the door. Suddenly, lunch was the last thing on his mind.

Chapter 15

“Nothing in here.” Nick shouted across the street to Granger who was standing on the sidewalk on the other side. They were in Tura, searching for Ali, or someone or something that would lead them to her. So far, they had found nothing. Nick was getting more and more frustrated, and couldn’t help but feel like they weren’t getting anywhere. He knew that the incidence the night before had been a breakthrough, but he also knew that he might have spoiled their opportunity to find anything.
“Let’s have a look in there.” Granger pointed towards an old barn that looked like it was about to fall apart any second. Nick sighed, and nodded. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to look; it was just that he was tired of not finding anything. And in addition to that, for every new building or room they stepped into, he was scared of what they might find.
A body?
Parts of a body?
Or worse… nothing at all.

“Are you ok?” Granger asked as they stepped into the abandoned barn.
“Yea, why?”
Granger shrugged. “You look tired.”
“I just haven’t had much sleep lately.” Nick paused to look around. “I mean, I’m used to not getting that much rest, being on the road and stuff, but this is just so mentally exhausting.”
Granger didn’t say anything; he just nodded and walked over to the other side of the barn to look behind a large green container. Just then, Nick’s call phone rang. He pulled it out from a pocket on the inside of his jacket and pulled off his thick gloves to press the answer button.

“Hello?”
“Nick, it’s AJ.”
“Hey.” Nick walked a little further away from Granger.
“Listen, I need you to get back to the hotel as soon as possible. I need to talk to you.”
“What? Why?”
“I can’t really tell you right now. Can you just get back here?”
“Can’t it wait until tonight?”
“No.”
Nick waited for AJ to continue, but there was only silence coming from the other end.
“I’m kinda busy AJ…”
“I know that, but this is important. I overheard something, about Ali, and I need to talk to you about it.”
At the sound of Ali’s name, Nick instantly became more interested.
“What do you mean?”
“Nick… like I said, I can’t tell you right now.”
Nick sighed. “Alright… I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“Ok, good. I’ll be in my room.”
“See ya.”

Nick hung up and walked over to Granger.
“I gotta get back to the hotel.”
“Why?” Granger stopped what he was doing, and turned around to face Nick.
“AJ said he had to talk to me about something. I don’t know what though, but I told him I’d get back there right now.”
Granger nodded in approval. “Ok, no problem. You can take the car. I’ll finish up here and call Tara or Cody when I’m done.”
“Thanks.”
Nick turned around to walk outside.
“Hey.” Granger called out after him. “Get some sleep, will ya?”
Nick smiled. “Yes sir!”

~*~

“She said what?” Nick stood up from AJ’s bed and looked at his friend in shock.
“She said that she saw something, and that she’s not gonna tell us, because she doesn’t want Ali to be found….” AJ repeated.
“She said what?”
“She said that---“
“No, I heard you. I just… shit!” Nick tilted his head back and ran his fingers through his hair.
“I just figured you wanted to know.” AJ said as he watched Nick who was pacing around the room.
“What do we do now?”
AJ shrugged. “Dunno… I guess we should tell Granger and then confront her about it.”
“Yea, I guess we should. He won’t be back until later though…” He sat down on the bed again, slamming his fist on the white sheets. “God! I knew something was up with her… If this is what we think it is I swear I’m gonna break her neck. What if what she saw could’ve led us to Ali?”
AJ nodded. “I know. It’s insane, I mean, she’s a police officer.”
Nick sighed. “I guess we’ll just have to wait until Granger gets back then… I should stay here. I’m so mad right now that if I leave the room, I’ll probably go straight to hers and break the door down.”
“That would’ve been something.” AJ chuckled a little. “I’ll order some room service.”

It was later that night, and Nick, AJ and Granger were on their way to Tara’s room to confront her about what AJ had heard earlier that day. They hadn’t told Granger about it yet, because Nick wanted him to see Tara’s reaction before he had gotten the chance to evaluate the situation himself. They reached Tara’s room, and Granger placed one solid knock on the wooden door. She opened it after just a few seconds, wearing only a pink silk night gown that left nothing to the imagination.
Granger cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Nick noticed that he had a hard time keeping his eyes away from her chest as he spoke.
“Good evening Tara.”
“Granger, hi. AJ. Hi Nick.” Nick felt her eyes linger on him for a few seconds before she turned her attention back to Granger. “What can I do for you?”
“We wanted to speak to you about something. Could we come in?”
Tara nodded and took a step to the side to let them into her room.
“Maybe you should put on something a bit more appropriate?” Granger commented as he walked past her.
She shrugged and walked into the bathroom to arrive a moment later, wearing a bath robe.
Nick, AJ and Granger were all sitting on the small sofa in her room, and as soon as she walked out, they all sat up straight and waited for her to settle down on the double bed across from them.
“AJ and Nick wanted to talk to us about something.” Granger said and turned to AJ, “So why don’t you tell us what’s going on?”
“Well…” AJ paused, thinking of what to say to make it sound as reliable as possible. “I was walking down the corridor earlier this day to get something to eat, and I walked past your room.” He said, looking at Tara. “Your door was open and you were on the phone. I didn’t mean to listen in on your conversation, but you were speaking kinda loud… I guess you could say I heard some things that I wish I hadn’t heard…” He paused again, looking from Tara, to Nick, to Granger to see their response. Tara was showing no sign of nervousness or anything like that.
“What did you hear?” Granger asked, looking a bit confused.
“She said that she saw something that she didn’t want us to know about because she doesn’t want Ali to be found.”
Granger raised his eyebrows. “Tara… is this true?”
Tara laughed. “What? No, of course not! Why would I say that?”
“Because obviously, you want Nick to yourself.” AJ interrupted before Granger had the chance to respond.
“Ok, ok… slow down a little.” Granger made the ‘time out’ sign with his hands. “Tara, could you please explain to us what it was that AJ heard?”
For a second or two, Nick thought he saw a sign of hesitation in her eyes, but it was gone before he even had a chance to react.
Tara laughed a little. “It’s kinda embarrassing actually…” She said. “I was on the phone with my sister, and she’s always asking me for all the dirty details concerning my love life, considering she has none. There’s this guy that I like, who’s dating my best friend. I saw them… you know… in his apartment, and I don’t want my friend to find out because she’ll know I was there. That must’ve been what you heard.” Tara looked at AJ innocently and then back at Granger, flashing him a smile.
“AJ… could this be what you heard?” Granger asked.
AJ shook his head. “No. She was talking about Ali.”
“Did you hear her use Ali’s name, specifically?”
“No…”
“Did you hear her use Nick’s name?”
AJ sighed. “No… but---“
“Then we should trust her that she’s telling the truth.”
“What?” Nick hadn’t spoken before, but at Granger’s last words, he stood up and looked at him in disapproval. “How can you believe her just like that?”
“Nick, Tara’s one of our best officers, and if she says she never said anything like that, I trust her.” Granger argued.
“What about what AJ says? He’s like a brother to me. He would never say anything like this if he wasn’t a hundred percent sure.”
“I know that you believe him, but as a police officer, you’re bound to trust what other officers are telling you. It’s an unwritten rule, Nick.”
“I can’t believe you. Let’s go AJ… I need to get out of here before I do something I’ll regret.”
AJ nodded and shot both Tara and Granger a look of disgust, before he stood up and followed Nick out of the room.

Chapter 16

May 1996

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, we are ready to land in Orlando in approximately 10 minutes, please take you seats.’

Nick leaned his head back against his seat and tabbed his fingers against the cold plane window. He and the boys had been in Europe for almost five months, promoting their debut album that was released the week before. They were now going back to Orlando to start rehearsing for their first tour that would kick off in September. Nick couldn’t wait to see his family again, and Ali. He had missed her while he was gone and even though they had spoke on the phone almost every day, it still wasn’t the same.

Half an hour later, they had collected their luggage, and were now entering the arrival hall where they were to be met by their families and friends. As he walked through the sliding glass doors, Nick looked around to see if he could spot any familiar faces. His eyes wandered around, looking in every direction, when he suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and smiled.

“Ali!”
She giggled. “Hey Prick!”
“I missed you.” He put his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground, swirling her around.
“Nick, put me down.” She hit him playfully in the shoulder as he did.
“Hey, did you grow?” He asked, tapping her head.
She nodded. “Two inches!”
Nick took a step back to look at her. His gaze stopped at her chest.
‘dang…and that’s not the only thing that grew… I leave the country for five months, and suddenly things are popping out in every direction…’ He thought, and he had to force himself to look away.
“Come on!” Ali took his hand and started walking towards the entrance.
“Hey, not so fast young lady. I have to say goodbye to the guys.”

A few minutes later, they were on their way out of the airport terminal to grab a taxi that would be taking them home to Nick’s place, where his family was waiting.

“It’s weird being here…” Nick said as they sat in the backseat, talking.
“How?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know… in Europe, everyone just gets so crazy wherever I go, and here…. It’s like no fan land.”
Ali giggled. “No fan land?”
“Howie came up with it… I know it’s weird, but it’s true.”
“I’m just having a hard time imagining girls screaming your name and crying ‘cause you smile at them. I mean, you’re just…. Prick.”
Nick laughed. “Yea… I guess I am.”
“Oh, did I tell you---“
“Oh my god!” Nick interrupted.
“What?”
He leaned forward in between the front seats. “Could you turn up the volume please?” He asked the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was asked, and Nick turned to look at Ali, a huge smile on his face.
“Do you hear that? That’s ME! That’s US! The Backstreet Boys! On the radio. Oh my god!”
“It is?” Ali asked excitedly as Quit Playing Games filled the car.
Nick nodded. “That’s me singing, right there!” He started singing the words, but Ali quickly covered his mouth with her hand.
“Let me listen. I’ve never heard this song before.” Ali sat back and enjoyed the rest of the song.

‘And that was the Backstreet Boys, with their European hit Quit Playing Games With My Heart. I’m sure we’ll be hearing a lot from these guys soon in America too.’

“Oh my god!” Nick said again. “They played our song on the radio. Here! In no fan land! I have to call the guys.”
Ali laughed. “You’re so weird. I love being friends with you.”

~*~

It was the next day, and Nick was still mad at Granger for not believing AJ. The fact that both him and AJ knew that something was up with Tara, made it hard for him not to run to her room and confront her about it once more. He had stayed up for hours the night before, trying to figure out what to do about it, and trying to figure out what Tara was up to, but the more he thought about it, the less sense it made. What could she possible be hiding?

He knew that Tara was set to patrol the village that next day, and he was determined to take action take matters into his own hands. The plan was to tell Granger that he and AJ wanted parts of the day off to look around downtown and put up some more posters of Ali. What they really were going to do was to hide in the village and find out what Tara was up to.

Nick was just about to sit down on his bed and call Granger to tell him that they wanted to be on their own that day, when there was a knock on the door. He walked across the room and was surprised to see Granger standing in the hallway.
“Hi Nick. Can I come in?”
Nick shrugged, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he left the door open and walked back into his room, waiting for Granger to enter.
“Nick… about what happened last night.” Granger began. “I wanted to make it clear to you that I’m not taking anyone’s side here. I am aware of what you think of Tara, and I just wanted to let you know that even though I trust her, I won’t completely dismiss what you told me.”
Nick looked at Granger, suddenly becoming more interested in what he had to say.
“And…?”
“And I’m going to ask her about it again when she gets back from Tura. She just left. I assume you won’t be joining her?”
Nick shook his head. “No… me and AJ were actually thinking about going downtown to put up some more posters of Ali, and look around a bit.”
“Sure. You could really use the day off, or at least a day away from the investigation. You look tired.”
“You keep saying that…”
Granger chuckled. “I’m just looking after you I guess.”
There was an awkward silence for a few moments.
“I should get going. We’re meeting with the Russian officers in half an hour.”
Nick nodded as Granger continued. “I’ll call you if anything happens.”
“Ok, thanks.”
And with that, Nick was left alone again.

An hour later, Nick was sitting on AJ’s bed, waiting for his friend to get ready to leave.
“So… we’ll go to the village, and hide somewhere she won’t see us, and then just observe what she does, right?” AJ said as he put on his coat.
Nick nodded. “Yea, there’s nothing much we can do right now besides that. We just need to see if she does something that she’s not supposed to be doing.”
“I hope we do.” AJ said, now grabbing a scarf to tie around his neck.
Just then, Nick’s cell phone rang.
“Granger…” He muttered to himself as he answered.
“Hello?”
“Nick, Granger here.”
“Hi.” Nick replied.
“Did you leave the hotel yet?”
“No, we’re just about to.”
“Good. Could you meet me in the lobby? I think we got something.”
Nick stood up from where he was sitting.
“What do you mean?”
“They found something. Not Ali, but a room where we think she might’ve been.”
“Really?”
“We’re on our way there right now. If you want to come, meet me downstairs in five minutes, ok?”
“We’re on our way!”

~*~

Nick and AJ stepped out of the car together with Granger, and out onto a street in the middle of the small town of Nefedowa. People were starting to gather around them as they saw the two police cars that were parked in front of a building. Nick looked up. They were standing in front of a small stable. It was obviously deserted, and to Nick, it seemed a little out of place. He followed Granger through some thick wooden doors that led to a small dark room next to the actual stable where there once had been horses. The moment he stepped into the room, he knew she had been there. There was no physical evidence that told them so, but there was something about the place that made him feel her presence everywhere.

“We found scrapings on the wooden door, and blood next to the mattress.” Granger told Nick as they walked around the small, cold room.
Blood.
“We’re running a DNA test to see if the blood belongs to Ali.”
All Nick could do was nod.
“You alright man?” AJ sensed Nick’s reaction.
Nick shook his head. “She was here. I know she was.”
She was here.

Chapter 17

Later that day, Granger had asked Nick and AJ to meet him in the lobby for a brief meeting to update them on the case. After they had discovered the room where they believed Ali had been, Granger had stayed behind to collect evidences and talk to the Russian officers on what to do next. AJ and Nick had decided to stay in the area, and not go to Tura as planned. Instead, they decided to do what they had told Granger from the beginning; put up more posters of Ali. Nick thought it was a good idea, considering he now knew that she had been there, and people might have seen her walking in or out of the building. They were now waiting for Granger to find out what was going to happen next.

“Hey guys.” Granger said as he walked over to them ten minutes later.
“How’d it go?” Nick was curious to know everything, and he did not want to waist any time.
“I went good actually.” Granger sat down opposite to Nick and AJ, placing a file on the table in front of them as he continued “We sent the blood sample and a few locks of hair that we found to the lab. They worked fast, and the results came back a few hours ago.”
“And…?”
“The blood matches Ali’s DNA, as we though, but the hair sample was not hers.”
Nick felt his heart pounding faster as he realized that this could be their big break though. They were getting closer and closer to finding Ali, and he was getting more and more restless for each day that passed.
“We ran the other DNA sample that we found through the official database that covers criminals, hospitalized persons and so, and we actually got a match. His name is Andrei Orlov. He’s originally from St. Petersburg, but he moved up here ten years ago. So obviously, this is not the same person that sent the letter to you, Nick. We don’t know who he is yet, but we still have people working on getting in touch with him. Anyways, I’ve been doing some research on Andrei Orlov, and I found some strange stuff. Maybe even a motive. I actually decided to Google his name on the internet to see if something came up, and it did, in the form of an article from a local newspaper.” He stopped and took a sip of a bottle of water that he had brought. Nick and AJ exchanged looks, curious to know what Granger had found.
“One night, three years ago, Andrei’s house was caught on fire. His girlfriend got trapped in the flames, and got killed. Andrei suffered from a second degree burning and his face got deformed to the state where he was almost unrecognizable. It’s a sad story, really.”
Nick nodded and waited for Granger to continue. When he didn’t, Nick gave away a confused look. “That’s it? I expected you to say that he’s a murderer who escaped from prison or something…”
Granger nodded and leaned forward to pick up the file he had brought.
“That was what I expected to find too, but I found something even better. Or maybe not better, but something… strange, I guess you can say. Take a look at this.”
He handed Nick the file and leaned back in his seat.
Nick opened it and scanned the paper briefly. It was the article about the fire, but when he looked at it, nothing really caught his attention.
“I don’t understand…” He said even more confused.
“Take a look at the next page.”
Nick frowned and turned the page. His heart almost stopped at the sight of what was in front of his eyes. “Oh my god…” he gasped.
AJ leaned over Nick’s shoulder to get a better look, and Nick could hear him take a deep breath at the sight of what he saw.
Nick was looking down at a picture. It was of a guy he had never seen before.
And Ali…
Although it wasn’t Ali, but the girl on the picture looked so much like her that if he hadn’t known Ali as well as he did, he almost would have believed it was her. She had the same dark brown hair, the same big brown eyes, the high cheekbones and the small nose. Only one feature separated her from the actual Ali that Nick remembered.
Her smile.
It was different. Ali’s smile was sincere, with dimples that dug into her cheeks and gave her face life that reached all the way to her eyes. The girl in the picture, on the other hand, was not smiling at all, and her eyes looked dead. Even though Nick didn’t have a problem seeing the difference, it was still astonishing how much they looked alike.
“I…I… oh my god. I don’t know what to say.” He stuttered after looking at the picture for a while. “She looks so much like Ali.”
Granger nodded. “I thought it was her, until I read her name.”
Nick looked down at the picture again and read her name out loud. “Natasha Cox.” “American?” AJ asked.
“British actually.”
Nick sighed. “God… I just… how is it possible? How can two people look so much alike?” He still couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“Do you realize what she is, Nick?” Granger asked. Nick shook his head confused.
“She’s our motive.”
“How?”
“Andrei was diagnosed as psychically and emotionally unstable ever since the accident when Natasha died. It’s obvious to anyone who looks at this picture that she looks a lot like Ali, and that is probably what Andrei thought too. Most likely, he’s using Ali as a replacement for Natasha. Now, do you have any idea where Andrei might have seen a picture of Ali? Did she ever appear in any pictures with you or anything like that?”
Nick thought for a moment. “I don’t know… She doesn’t like being in the spotlight.”
“MTV.” AJ said suddenly.
“Huh?”
“The award show.”
Nick thought for a moment. “Of course.”
“What award show?” Granger asked, bringing out his notebook to take some notes.
“Ali accompanied me to the MTV Europe Music Awards in November 2004, only a month before she disappeared. She didn’t really want to go, but I talked her into it, considering it was one of our first public appearances since we’d been on a break. It was important to me. AJ and I were the only two that went. We made some headlines in a few European magazines, and I think Ali was in a couple of pictures too.”
“Ok… so that could explain how he got to know about Ali. The timing is right too. I’m gonna ask Tara to contact a few European magazines to see if we can get a hold of a few articles. She’s a girl, so she should know who to contact.”
AJ and Nick exchanged looks. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Nick asked hesitantly, very well aware of his opinion on Tara.
“Well… I don’t think that we, as men, are capable of knowing which magazines to contact.”
“Considering me and AJ have been on the front page of 90 percent of them, I think we do.” Nick argued.
“Nick…” Granger sighed. “I understand that you’re doubting Tara’s working skills, but she’s here for a reason, and I think it’s better if she does this.”
“I… no! I can do it. I know who to contact, and I know where to look, and besides, Tara is in the village right now. She won’t be able to do it until tomorrow. I can do it right now.”
“He’s right Granger.” AJ interrupted. “We do know a lot about this. And we can do it right now. I’ll help him.”
Granger thought about it for a few moments. “Fine. You can do it. But I want you to write a report on it, and make a list on whom you contact and when you made the call.”
Nick looked relieved. “No problem. Thanks.”
Granger nodded in return as Nick handed the file back to him and stood up. “We’ll start right now.”
“Ok, let me know if you find anything.”
“We will.”
Nick and AJ walked away, but as they passed the reception on their way to the elevators, someone called out Nick’s name.
“Mr. Carter?”
Nick turned around. The receptionist was holding up a folded piece of paper that she obviously wanted Nick to have. Nick walked over to her.
“For me?” He asked.
She nodded and handed him the note. Nick walked over to AJ, opening the letter on his way.
He frowned when he saw the writing on it. It was only one sentence, but it was written in Russian, and he had no idea what it said.
“What is it?” AJ asked, looking at the piece of paper that Nick was holding in his hands.
“I don’t know. It’s in Russian.”
“Come on, let’s take it back to Granger.”
They walked back to where they had been sitting moments before. Granger was still sitting there, looking though some papers.
“Someone left me this in the reception.” Nick handed the note to Granger, and waited for a response. Granger took a brief look at it, and saw right away that they needed help from someone who spoke the language.
“I’ll ask one of the officers. They’re having a meeting in one of the conference rooms. I’ll be right back.”
He stood up and walked away. After a few minutes, he returned and without a word, he handed the note back to Nick. Someone had written the English translation beneath the Russian words. Nick read it slowly.

She is mine.

Chapter 18

A few hours later, Nick was lying on the bed in his room thinking about the past few days and where they were headed in the investigation. He was trying his best to not think about the note that he had received earlier, but it was hard not to, seeing that, according to Granger, it was an evidence that hopefully would lead them closer to Ali.

Nick let his eyes rest on the TV that was showing a cartoon, in Russian. When they were younger, he and Ali had used to watch cartoons with the sound turned off, making up their own lines for the characters, forming their own stories. He missed those moments.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Nick sighed and walked over the door, cleaning up a few pieces of clothing on his way. He opened the door, and found AJ standing in the hall, ready to knock again.

“Hi.”
“Hey Nicky.” AJ let himself into the room and sat down on the foot of the bed.
Nick knew what was coming. AJ never called him Nicky unless he wanted to talk about emotions. It was as if he used that name to soften himself up a little. Nick sat down in a chair opposite to AJ and turned off the TV.
“I just came by to see how you were doing.” AJ said before Nick had the chance to speak.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you really?”
Nick sighed and tried to send AJ a reassuring smile.
“You know you can’t fool me Nick. I know you too well.”
“Did Kevin ask you to do this?” Nick asked, assuming that AJ had spoken to their band mate.
“What… no.”
“I’m fine AJ… really.”
“Nick… you know that’s a lie. You look awful. You’ve got big circles under your eyes, you haven’t shaved since who knows when and you haven’t slept in days. How can you be fine?”
Nick sighed again and looked down. “AJ… I just… I don’t know ok. I don’t know anything anymore. I feel like I’m searching in vain, and everything I do just seem to make things worse.”
AJ frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… first of all, Ali wouldn’t be missing if it wasn’t for me dragging her to that stupid award show. Second, I was the one who insisted on going to the village that night and practically expose our selves to the kidnapper, who by the way shot you, if you didn’t forget. Third… the note. I mean, he obviously sees me as a threat, and if I’m a threat to him, I might be a threat to Ali too…”
“You can’t think like that.”
Nick leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I know, but I do, ok? I can’t help it.”
“Nick, if Ali knew everything you’re going through because of her, she would be the one feeling bad. You’re an amazing friend to her, and when we find her, she’ll know. She probably already knows. Don’t give yourself such a hard time Nick. You’re doing everything you can.”
“But it’s not enough.” He whispered, running a hand through his hair and trying to hold back the tears.
“Nick… I wish I knew what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Nick looked up at his friend. “I really appreciate you coming with me here AJ. I don’t think I could’ve gotten through this without you. It’s just that sometimes I need to be alone with my thoughts. You know that. I’m not good with talking about emotions and stuff. All I know is that right now I’m so unbelievable exhausted, but I just want to continue searching for Ali until we find her. She’s probably in a much worse state than I am right now. I can deal with a little tiredness and headache.”
“I guess you’re right… just don’t over do the work, ok? I’m worried about you.”
Nick nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. And I’ll be even better once we find Ali.”

~*~

November 2000.

“Nick, this is boring…”
Ali and Nick were sitting in Nick’s living room, flipping through the TV channels on the large flat screen. They were planning on seeing a movie, but nothing good was on, and Nick felt to lazy to stand up and walk over to his own collection of DVD’s.
“Oh, look! My Girl.” Ali suddenly said excitedly.
“I though you said this was boring.” Nick said, as Macaulay Culkin’s young face was shown on the screen.
They both fell silent for a few minutes, watching the two best friends in the movie as they sat under a tree, mixing their own blood.
“We should do that.” Nick said, sitting up a little.
“Do what?”
“That.” Nick pointed at the screen.
“What? Sit under a tree?” Ali asked confused.
“No you dork. That.” He was still pointing.
“Mix our blood?”
“Yes!”
Ali shook her head. “You’re nuts. There’s no way I’m cutting myself.”
“Aww… Ali, come on. That way, we’ll always be connected to each other.” Nick pouted.
Ali shook her head. “Nick, I’m not cutting myself. I hate blood. Besides, this is what kids do when they’re joking around. You’re twenty. Waaaay to old for this.”
“You’re a chicken.”
“Well, you’re being a baby.”
“Ali, please… do it for me. I really wanna do it. Pretty please.” He begged, pouting.
“Don’t do that!”
“Do what?”
“Look at me with that puppy dog face.”
Nick smirked. “Oh, you know you want me.”
“Nick… ewww. Come on, give me a break.” She made a grimace.
“Just kidding. But, seriously Al. I wanna do it.”
Ali sighed. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
Nick jumped up. “Yes! I’ll get a knife.”
“Well that sounded comforting…” Ali mumbled to herself as Nick walked into the kitchen to get a knife. Seconds later, he was back carrying a meat knife that he placed on the coffee table in front of them.
“Couldn’t find any smaller, could you?” Ali asked sarcastically.
“Hey!”
“Just kidding…. So how do we do this?”
“Give me your hand.” Nick said and reached over to grab her hand. “I’ll just make a small cut on your index finger, ok?” He reached out and picked up the knife from the table.
Ali nodded. “Ok… just do it quick. And not too deep.”
“Close your eyes. It’ll be over in a second.”
She closed her eyes as she felt the tip of the knife dig into her finger. She winched, and pressed her lips together. The pain was gone before she had the chance to react to it, and she slowly opened her eyes to find that Nick was holding out his own hand, a small stain of blood emerging from a cut in his finger. Without a word, he took her hand and mixed their blood together, just as they had seen on the movie a few minutes earlier.
“See… that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Nick smiled, still holding on to her hand.
Ali shook her head.
“Now, I’ll always have a part of you with me.”

~*~

She leaned her head helplessly back against the cold concrete wall. Slowly, she closed her eyes behind the piece of fabric that was covering her eyes, and let out a silent sob. A sob that expressed hurt, fear and anger, but most of all longing. She didn’t know how long she would be able to hold on. The hope was draining out of her like the tide when the waves left the beach and left nothing but emptiness behind.

She had been drifting in and out of sleep for days now, always waking up feeling worse and more desperate than before. She didn’t know what time of the day it was, what day of the week, what month or how long she had been there. As much as she wanted to know, she didn’t have the strength to think about it.

It was strange too, waking up to a different surrounding than what she was used to. For days, she had been tied up and blindfolded. It made her feel unsafe and reminded her that she had left an empty room behind. A room, that if someone would ever find it, would show no signs of her. No one would ever know that she had been there.

Nick wouldn’t know.

Suddenly she heard footsteps from above, and she quickly opened her eyes even though she knew it was no use. She knew who to expect. She hadn’t seen him in a few days now, and she prayed that he was bringing food, or water at least.

She could hear him entered the room, and move slowly, but firmly towards her. Walking over, he stopped a few feet away from her. She could feel his eyes on her, even though she couldn’t see him. He walked over to her and slowly pulled off the blindfold. It took some time for her to adjust, and when she did, she wasn’t sure where to look. He was staring down at her, a different look in his eyes then what she was used to. He didn’t look sad anymore, but almost desperate, in an angry way.
With a single gesture, he untied the ropes around her wrists, but left her feet tied up.

He had brought food, a piece of bread and a bottle of water that he had placed on the ground before her.

He took a step back and sat down on his knees pulling something out from inside his jacket.
A gun.
The blood froze in her veins.
Was this it?

All this time, she had waited for something to happen, and now, all she could think was that she felt relieved.

Just as she thought he was about to end it, he put the gun down next to the food and stood up again.

“Your choice.” He whispered, and walked away without looking at her.

Was he giving her an ultimatum?
She could choose the food, or the gun.
Life… or death.

It was up to her now, and she knew exactly what she wanted, but could she do it?

Chapter 19.

Four days later.

Nick woke up from a restless night. It was still very early in the morning. The room was pitch black, and he could hear the wind blowing outside. Leaning over, he pulled the curtains aside and looked out. It had been snowing that entire night and the roads would be impossible to drive on for yet a few hours until the snow had been removed. The streetlamps outside shone dimly and cast shadows on the houses down the street.

His thought wandered back to Ali. If she was out there, how did she feel right at that moment?
Was she cold?
Was she scared?
Nick shivered at the thought of her being alone in the darkness, and at that moment, he thought that he would’ve done everything in his power to take her place, and let her go free. It just wasn’t right that someone like her should be exposed to this kind of action.

Nick sighed and leaned back against his pillow. He wanted to sleep, to rest, but every time he closed his eyes, images of Ali, of the old village, of AJ being shot, entered his mind. He wanted more than anything to avoid thinking about it, yet the more he thought about not thinking about it, the more he did.

A few hours passed, and Nick had finally drifted off into a restless sleep. By then, he didn’t know what time it was. All he knew was that the wind outside had picked up speed, and the last thing he heard before he closed his eyes was the howling of the wind razing outside his window.

Suddenly, he woke up by the sound of his phone ringing. He groaned and sat up confused, casting a quick glance at the watch on the nightstand.
6:30 AM
Following the sound of the ringing, he dug into the pocket of the jeans he had worn the day before and quickly answered.
“…lo” His voice sounded groggy, and he cleared his throat.
“Nick, it’s Granger.”
Nick lay down on the bed again, covering his body with the thick quilt to keep himself warm. “Hi.”
“I didn’t mean to wake you up, but I just had to tell you the latest.”
“Which is…?”
“We found Orlov’s home.”
“You did?” Nick sat up again, suddenly feeling wide awake. “Is Ali there? I mean, what did you find? Did you go inside yet? Is he there?”
“That’s too many questions this early in the morning Nick, even for me. But to tell you what we know, he’s not here, neither is Ali, but we did find a lot of things in here, and I think you better get here as soon as you can.”
Nick was out of bed almost before Granger had finished talking. “I’ll be there. I just gotta get dressed and wake up AJ. Give me the address, and I’m on my way.”

Granger carefully spelled the address to Nick, making sure that they would be able to get there. Nick called AJ right away, and thirty minutes later, they arrived at the location. As soon as they stepped out of the taxi, they immediately felt as if they had arrived in the gutter. It was a shabby house, with broken windows, holes through the roof, and there was so much snow there that people had a hard time making their way inside. It was still dark outside. H ell, Nick couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen the sun. Sometimes he wondered how people could live like that, always surrounded by darkness. The nights seemed to go on forever, and to Nick, the night only brought nightmares.

Granger walked up to Nick and AJ who were standing on the sidewalk, snow up to their knees. Nick pulled on a pair of thick gloves and pulled the hood of his Lakers jersey that he wore underneath his coat, over his head.
“Come on, we’ll talk inside.” Granger gestured for them to follow him inside the small house.

Nick didn’t know what to expect once they entered. He had thought about the options on his way there, but he couldn’t come up with anything that seemed logic. If Ali wasn’t there, what could it possibly be that Granger wanted him to see? As he stepped into the house, and straight into the small living area, Nick suddenly knew exactly what Granger was talking about. Gasping, he looked around. He could hear AJ mumble a few words next to him, but didn’t bother to ask him what he said.

The walls in the room were covered in pictures of Ali, most of them in black and white. Nick couldn’t utter a word. He recognized many of the places and the time the pictures were taken. He even saw himself in a few of them, although in most of them, he had been cut out, even though he knew he had been there. As they were standing there, taking it all in, Granger started speaking.

“We got a tip from a local, about this house. Cody and a couple of Russian officers have been walking around for the past few days, showing a picture of Orlov to the people living here, and one of them recognized him. And as you see, this is what we found. It kinda confirms everything we thought we knew.”
Nick was in complete shock, and all he could do was nod.
“We’ve searched the entire house, the area around and we even spoke to all the neighbours. Most of them say that no one has been here for over a year. In fact, the last observation we have of Orlov was December 20th 2004.”
“Two days after Ali disappeared...” Nick whispered.
“This is insane…” AJ said, walking around the room, stopping now and then to look at the pictures.
“Nick, I need you to tell me when and where these pictures were taken.” Granger continued. He sounded almost apologetically, like he knew what Nick was going through and that he was sorry for putting him though all of this.
“Let’s start over here.” Granger walked across the room.
“You ok man?” AJ whispered concerned.
Nick looked down and shook his head no, as he walked over to Granger.
“Ok, Nick. Take your time, and tell me what you see.”
Nick forced himself to look at the wall and let his eyes rest on the first picture.
Ali was sitting by the edge of a pool, her feet dangling in the water. She was looking down at something or someone, smiling. Her hands were on their way up to cover her face, signalling that someone was obviously splashing water on her. “Umm…” He cleared his throat. “This was taken at my place, by the pool. Late November I think.” His voice was shaking as he spoke, and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
Granger removed the picture from the wall and scribbled down the time and place on the back of the photo.
Nick looked at the next one. It was a close up of Ali. Her hair was wet and she was looking almost straight into the camera, although Nick knew that it was just a coincidence. He tried to figure out where it was taken, but most of the surroundings had been cut off, and it was hard for him to see. “I don’t know about this one… It could be on the beach, cause her hair’s wet, but I don’t know.”
Granger wrote beach? on the back of the photo, and gave Nick time to look at another one. He instantly recognized the setting taking place in the photo. Ali was sitting on a lawn in a park. She was wearing a pair of headsets, her eyes closed.


~*~
December 10th 2004.

“Hey, thanks for coming.” Nick gave Ali a quick hug as they sat down on the green grass in the park right outside the recording studio in LA.
“No problem. I’m curious to know what you wanted to show me.”
Nick nodded and pulled out his MP3 player and his headset. “We’re half way through the album now, you know. We just finished recording a song, and I think it’s one of the best ones we’ve ever done.”
“And you want me to listen to it?” Ali asked, taking the headset from Nick and putting it on.
Nick laughed a little. “Yea. Just wanted your opinion on it. I mean, I don’t really care what you think of it, cause we all love it, and it’s definitely going to be on the album, I just wanted to see what you think.”
“Ok… what‘s the name of it?”
“Siberia. It’s a place---
“In Russia. I know.” She smiled and leaned over to press the play button. She leaned back, supporting her weight on her elbows and closed her eyes.

A few minutes later, she sat up again and pulled off the headset. Nick looked at her, trying to read the expression on her face.
“It’s so sad…” She said after a few moments.
Nick nodded in agreement.
“But it’s so good!” She continued, a smile spreading across her face.
“So you like it?”
“I love it.”

~*~

“Nick…? Nick…?”
Nick jerked out of the flashback and quickly told Granger when and where the picture was taken, leaving out as many details as he could. I was one of the few detailed memories he had left of Ali, and he wanted to keep it to himself.
Quickly, he moved on to the next photo, shaking the memory out of his head.

The next photo was hard to analyse. He looked at it for a long time, barely noticing that Granger’s phone started ringing and that he walked out of the room. A few minutes later, Nick still didn’t know anything about the picture.
“I don’t know about this one.” He said, turning around to face Granger who was standing in the doorway, his phone still in his hand. “It could’ve been---“
“We’ve got him!” Granger interrupted.
“What?”
“We’ve got him. They’ve arrested Orlov.”

~*~

It was three hours later, and Nick and AJ were waiting in the small police station in Nefedowa. After Granger had gotten the call about Orlov, they had driven as fast as they could down there, and Granger had rushed into the only interrogation room where Orlov had already been taken.

Nick was wide awake, but he felt extremely restless and nervous. He hadn’t been doing anything else then stare at the door where the interrogation was taking place, thinking that he was in there; Orlov, who had covered his walls with photos of Ali, who had taken his best friend away from him and brought him to this place in the middle of nowhere.


After another hour, the door to the room finally opened, and Nick quickly stood up, AJ following right behind. Suddenly, he found himself face to face with Orlov, who seemed unmoved by the recent incidence. His face showed no emotions, and to Nick it was almost like he was using the scars across his face to cover up any feelings that he might have. Nick took a step forward, now standing only a few feet away from him.

“Where is she?” He asked with a flat voice.
For a moment the two men just stood there, staring at each other. Nick was feeling the urge to jump forward and slam his fist in the face of the man who had changed his life so much, but his legs seemed glued to the floor.
“Where is Ali?” He asked again, almost in a whisper.
Orlov continued to stare at Nick, giving him a small, but cold smile.
“She is dead.” He said in his thick accent, spitting out each word.
Nick shook his head, as if he was trying to get rid of the words he had just heard.
“No. No… he’s lying.” He mumbled. Suddenly, he felt as if someone had just slapped him hard across the face, and he started yelling, panic rising in his voice.
“NO! YOU’RE LYING! WHERE IS SHE?” He took a firm step forward, and AJ quickly grabbed Nick by his arms, holding him back as Nick continued to yell.
“SHE’S NOT DEAD! TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!”
“Nick, calm down.” AJ said quietly, still holding on to Nick’s arms.
“NO, DAMN IT!” He tried to break free from AJ’s grip, but he found that he had no strength left to do so. Granger and the Russian Officer slowly started to lead Orlov away, down the hall. “NO! LET ME GO! TELL ME WHERE SHE IS. I’M GONNA FUKCING KILL YOU!!!!” He turned around and looked at AJ, his eyes filled with horror and anger. But as much as Nick twisted and turned, AJ didn’t let go.
“DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME! WHERE IS SHE?”
“Nick, there’s no use. Calm down.”
Orlov and the two officers disappeared around the corner and Nick felt a strong urge to run after them and knock some sense into Orlov.
“GODDAMN IT!” He yelled slamming his fists against the cold wall, his voice echoing down the now deserted hall. As quickly as the anger had come upon him, it was gone and replaced by tears.

Chapter 20

Thirty minutes later, Granger came walking down the corridor. Nick was now sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, and his head in his hands. He had been silently crying to himself, not letting AJ or anybody that walked past see his tears. He felt completely empty inside. Listening to Orlov’s words had torn him apart, and at that moment, he didn’t know what to believe.

Was she really dead?

The thought was unbearable and just thinking about it made his heart break. Looking down at his hands, he let a finger trace around the small scar from when he had cut himself to blend his blood with Ali’s. He knew she had the exact same scar on her hand.

Would he ever see it again?

“Let’s talk, shall we?” Granger had reached them, and was now standing in front of Nick, looking down at him with tired eyes.
Nick sighed and looked up, nodding his head slowly. He was trying his best not to show how upset and emotionally drained he was, but he didn’t think he could fool anyone. If Granger didn’t see it, then AJ definitely did.

Standing up, the three of them walked into the interrogation room where Orlov only hours before, had given his statement. Nick found himself feeling sick only from the thought of being in the same room as him.

The room was small and contained only a square table and four chairs that looked rather uncomfortable to sit on. The colour on the concrete walls reminded Nick of vomit, and on one of the walls, Nick assumed, was a one – way mirror.

“Coffee?” Granger asked, as they entered the room.
“Yes please.” Both Nick and AJ answered at the same time, anxious to get some caffeine into their blood.
Granger signalled through the still opened door for someone to bring them some coffee, before he closed it and sat down opposite to Nick and AJ.
“Ok…” He said slowly, folding his hands on the table in front of him. He paused for a few seconds, obviously trying to figure out what to say, or rather how to say it.
Nick swallowed hard, and prepared himself for the worst.
“Orlov is… what can I say… umm… interesting.”
“Interesting?” Nick asked, surprised by Granger’s use of words.
“He’s very intimidating, but yet very vulnerable. He knows what he’s doing, yet he has no idea…”
Nick looked confused. “I don’t understand…”

The door to the room opened, and a police officer walked in, carrying a trey with three cups of black coffee. He quickly put it down on the table, and walked out of the room again. Granger paused to take a sip, as did Nick and AJ.

“What did he tell you? Is she dead?” The words escaped Nick’s mouth before he even had the chance to regret asking. He wanted to know, yet he didn’t.
Granger put the cup down. “All in time Nick. I’ll tell you everything” he said. The tone in his voice didn’t give away anything, and Nick felt himself going crazy inside, waiting for an answer.
“Orlov actually told us everything that’s happened during the past year.” Granger continued. “We didn’t even have to force him. His English is kinda bad though. We had expected him to speak the language better, because of his relationship with Natasha, who was British, but we had to question him in Russian. I’ve only heard the translated version, but I don’t think they left out too many details.”
Nick and AJ nodded, both eager to hear what it was that Orlov had said.
“After Natasha died, Orlov spent several months in the hospital, recuperating after the severe burns that he got from the fire. When he was released, he bought the small house that we found this morning, and locked himself inside, refusing to show his face in public. He got his friend to shop groceries for him. Guess the name of the friend…” Granger looked at Nick and AJ, waiting for a response.
“I don’t know…” Nick said, shrugging.
“Diametric Karkaroff…” AJ whispered suddenly, taking a deep breath.
Granger nodded.
“The man who sent the letter?” Nick was feeling more and more confused with ever clue they collected.
“The only thing is that Orlov knew nothing about the letter.”
“He could be lying.”
Granger shook his head. “I don’t think he is. He seemed genuinely surprised that we had managed to track him down, and that we did so because of a letter he knew nothing about. He didn’t even notice the bracelet missing from Ali’s wrist.”
Nick felt his stomach turn at the sound of Ali’s name, and the fact that Orlov actually had referred to her. He had looked at her, maybe even touched her and Nick instantly felt sick again.
“Did he tell you why he took her, and how he managed to get her to Russia?” AJ asked, knowing that Nick wanted to know, but was afraid to ask.
Granger nodded. “It’s like we thought. One day, Karkaroff brought Orlov a magazine with a picture of Nick and Ali from the award show that you guys mentioned. He admitted that from that moment, he was obsessed with getting Ali, and only four days later, he was on his way to the US.”
Nick slowly shook his head, not believing what he was hearing, as Granger continued.
“The pictures we found in his home, was taken by Orlov, after tracking down Ali’s address and following her every move. After looking though all of the photos, we even found some showing Ali getting out of the shower.”
Nick looked down, embarrassed, but at the same time relieved that he hadn’t seen those particular photos.
“How did he get her to Russia?” He asked, repeating AJ’s question.
“He somehow convinced the security, the flight personnel, everybody, that Ali was his dead girlfriend.”
“How…?”
“He drugged her down, and placed her in a coffin.”
Both Nick and AJ gasped.
“What?” Nick whispered, feeling the urge to scream. “He placed her in a coffin? From USA to Russia?”
Granger nodded. “It’s hard to believe that he actually got away with it, but it seems like he did. I mean, who would question a heartbroken man on his way back home with his dead girlfriend in a coffin? No one wants to be that heartless.”
“It’s hard to believe….” AJ stated, looking worried and shocked.
“What happened once he got back?” Nick asked. At that moment, he was feeling like he wanted to know everything, good or bad, just so that he could get it out of the system, and focus on how to find Ali again.
“He locked her inside the old stable that we found. That’s where he kept her up until a little over a week ago.”
“But why didn’t she try to escape? How can he have kept her there for so long without anyone noticing?” Nick was on a roll now. He wanted to know everything there was to know.
“She did try to escape. Remember, we found scrapings on the wooden door, but it was double bolted and very thick. Made of oak, according to Orlov, almost sound proof. So even if she did try to make people aware of her presence, no one could hear her.”

It sounded almost surreal to Nick. In a way, it was like everything that Orlov had done was based on sheer luck. How he had managed not to get discovered, was almost unbelievable.

And then, the question Nick had dreaded to ask.

“Where is she now?”
Granger sighed. “We don’t know. He refuses to tell us… We tried every trick in the book to get him to confess what he did to her, but whatever we did… nothing.”
“Then how are we going to find her?” Panic was rising in Nick’s voice.
“I don’t know…” Nick knew it was hard for Granger to admit it, almost as hard as it was for him to accept it.
“As it is right now,” Granger continued, “we are facing a dilemma. Orlov is the only on who knows where she is, the only one who can bring her food, if she’s still alive. Time is running out, and right now, he’s the only one who can help us…”
“No, he’s not…” A voice said from the doorway. The three men turned around, and were surprised to see who was standing there.

Chapter 21

“Cody?” Granger frowned as the Cody entered the room and closed the door behind him.
“Orlov isn’t the only one who knows where she is.” He continued and sat down next to Granger. “Tara knows too.”
“I knew it!” Nick slammed his fist on the table and stood up, pulling his hair in frustration. “I knew she was lying!” He was pacing back and forth now, swearing to himself.
“Nick, sit down.” Granger ordered and turned to Cody again. “What do you mean, Tara knows? And aren’t you supposed to be in the village with her right now? Where is Tara anyways?”
Cody sighed. “I don’t know…”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“She’s left…”
“What?”
Granger cast a glance at Nick across the table. He had closed his eyes, as if he was waiting for bad news and just wanted to get it over with.
“I was in the village together with Tara, and we decided to split up and walk a bit to ourselves. So I walked away, leaving her by the car. I’d been walking around for maybe fifteen minutes when I decided to go back and get a scarf cause it was pretty cold out there. So I walked back, and just before I was about to turn the corner, I overheard her talking on the phone.” He paused for a few moments.
“What did she say?” Nick asked anxiously.
“She basically said that she knew where Ali was, but that she wasn’t going to tell anyone, cause she wanted you to herself.”
Nick looked down, shaking his head slightly and running his hand across his face.

God….

“She went on for a few more minutes, talking about how sick and tired she was of hearing about Ali, and then she hung up. I decided to walk away and pretend that I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t think she had seen me or heard me, but when I returned, she wasn’t there. I’ve been trying to call her, and I spent two hours looking for her, but she’s nowhere to be found.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” Granger asked, slightly irritated.
“I tried, but your phone’s been off for the past few hours.”
Granger sighed, realizing that he had switched off his phone when he was inside questioning Orlov. He also looked rather embarrassed, as he had to admit that he had been wrong about Tara. They would now not only have to work on finding Ali, but Tara too.

Nick was trying to hide his anger, as the two officers started discussing Tara. Just hearing her name made him want to scream. He knew that he should have trusted his instinct when he first met her. He didn’t trust her, and every time he had spoken to her, she seemed more and more interested in his relationship with Ali. It made him feel uncomfortable, and all he wanted to do was walk away.

“Can we please just get out of here and start looking for her?” Nick burst out, once again standing up.
“Who? Ali or Tara?” Granger asked,
“I don’t know… both!” Nick placed his hands on the table and leaned forward, looking at Granger and Cody. “I just want to get out of this room and do something. I’m sick of hearing you guys sit around and talk about everything that’s happening without doing anything about it. Sitting here, discussing what Tara did or didn’t do won’t help us find Ali. We need to go out there and look for her, for both of them. If Tara knows where Ali is, we need to find her. She’s the only one who can help us right now.” Nick knew that he sounded desperate, but he was.
There was silence in the room for a few seconds. Finally, Granger nodded his head slowly.
“I’m sorry Nick… You’re right.” He sighed. “Cody, I want you to go to the airport, and make sure that everybody there knows that Tara is not, under any circumstances, to leave this country. Bring two or three officers with you to translate, and explain the situation. I’ll make sure that all the roads out of the town are blocked. I’ll take a few officers with me down to the village. I assume you guys want to come too?” He said, looking from Nick to AJ, who both nodded.
“Thank you.” Nick said, relieved that something was finally being done.

~*~

They spent the rest of that day doing everything they could to find Tara, while at the same time, keeping their eyes open for any sign of Ali. The airport had been informed, the roads were blocked and several officers were patrolling the area in, and around the village. Nick was beyond the stage of being tired. Something was keeping him going, keeping him from giving up. But as midnight came and went, he had to admit that the thought of lying down for a few hours, was tempting. Yet, he kept going. AJ had gone back to the hotel after getting his bandage changed at the medical centre, but Granger was still left, trying to get an overview of the whole situation.

Nick was walking around Tura on his own, as Granger was busy making phone calls, and the other officers had moved the search to the forest around the village. He was looking around, trying to spot something unusual or suspicious. He didn’t know what exactly that could be, but he kept looking anyway.

The streets of Tura seemed awfully quiet, even more than usual. There were no sounds coming from the forest surrounding the village, no wind making the trees whistle.

Nothing.

Nick sat down on a broken bench next to a barn where he had been only days before, looking for Ali. It seemed even more worn down than before and as he sat there, he realized that this was the first time in weeks that he was completely alone. Besides being asleep, he was always around someone, trying to convince everybody that he was strong and that he believed that they would find Ali if they just kept looking. Inside, he wasn’t so sure anymore. Seeing how the investigation formed, hearing Orlov’s words, realizing that Tara had betrayed them all… he was starting to lose hope.

No… don’t give up! She’s still out there.

He was trying hard to convince himself, but between everything that had happened that day, and being in a state of not having slept in nearly 24 hours, and little before that, he had come to a point where he couldn’t even think straight anymore.

Goddamn it Ali! Why are you doing this to me?

He let his head rest against the wooden wall behind him, feeling the cold surface through the hood on the jacket he was wearing. He wanted more than anything to get rid of the aggression he was feeling at that moment. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, letting his thoughts wander back to a time when Ali was still with him, always making an impact on his life with her strong opinions.

~*~

October 2000

“Nick, when are you ever going to learn how to clean up after yourself?” Ali was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking at Nick who was sprawled out on the couch in front of the TV, surrounded by empty cans of coke, a half eaten burger, chips and empty plates.
Nick shrugged. “I have people to do that for me.” He said, his eyes not leaving the TV set.
“I know YOU have, but I don’t. Nick, this is MY house, or at least my parents house, and they’ll be home from work in exactly one hour. You better clean this mess up!”
He shrugged again, taking a sip of his drink.
Ali sighed heavily and walked over to the TV, positioning herself right in front of it.
“Heeeey. Move!” Nick whined, throwing a pillow at her.
“Nick, I am not kidding here. This is NOT funny. You are such a spoiled brat. I know you’ve been touring for a while and that you are tired, but that does not mean that you can come here every day and make yourself at home like this.”
“I am not a spoiled brat!”
“Yes you are!”
“Am not!”
“Then would you PLEASE act your age and clean up this mess?”
“I still have one hour. I am watching this show. Could you move?”
Ali took a step closer to Nick, hands on her hips. “I can not FUCKING believe you! You either clean up this mess, or you leave right now!”
“Urgh! You can not tell me what to do!”
“Oh yes I can. I am SO SICK of you acting like you own everybody. You are not that cool mister – I – can – have – everything – my – way!”
Nick sat up a little. “I can’t believe you just said that!”
“Well, believe it.”
“I’m leaving now.” He stood up and cast an angry glance at Ali, who was looking like she wanted to punch him.
“I HATE you!” She spit out.
“Well, I’m not that found of you right now either!”
“GET OUT!” She raised her hand and pointed towards the front door.
“I know very well where the door is, thank you very much.” He said sarcastically, making his way across the room.
“I fucking HATE YOU right now.” She didn’t know if she had heard her, because seconds later he was gone.

They hadn’t spoken for over a week. Not until Nick had showed up at her doorstep, begging her to forgive him. He knew that she was waiting for him to apologize and he hated to be the one giving in. But he knew it was his call, and that their friendship was worth more than that.

~*~

Nick sighed as he remembered the fight. He would have given everything to be there right now, instead of the cold streets of Tura. Everything was better than being where he was at that moment. He could spend the rest of his life arguing with Ali instead of not having her in his life at all.

“Hello Nick.”
He jerked out of his thoughts as someone spoke to him. He raised his head slowly and had to blink twice before he realized who was standing next to him.
“Tara!”

Chapter 22

“I thought I’d find you here.” She smiled at him.
A smile that could have sent shivers down his spine if it wasn’t for the fact that he was already so cold that he didn’t feel a thing. Nick looked around to see if there was anyone around he could call, but they were alone.
“There’s no one around Nick. It’s just you and me.” Tara said, as if she was reading his mind.
Nick swore silently to himself.
He wanted to get up from the bench he was still sitting on, but he felt so exhausted and drained that he didn’t have the strength to do so, and Tara’s presence only made him feel worse. A part of him wanted to punch her, hit her straight in the face, but his mind screamed at him not to. He was desperate for some answers to all his questions, and not just that. Tara knew where Ali was.

She knows…

Nick sat up straight, using every bit of will he had left to raise his head and look at her.
“Where is she?” He whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke.
“Who?”
Nick raised his eyebrows and shook his head a little. “Don’t pull this crap on me Tara. You know who I’m talking about. I know you know where Ali is.” He wanted to raise his voice at her, but even though he tried, he just sounded more desperate.
“Ali huh?” Tara sat down next to Nick, and he shifted uncomfortably.
She seemed so calm. Almost too calm, and it worried him. It was like she just wanted to sit there with him and talk to him like they were best friends. Like him and Ali.
“Tara… just please. Tell me. I need to know. This is killing me.” He didn’t want to sound so desperate, but he couldn’t control it.
Tara sighed and rolled her eyes, as if she was telling him to stop complaining and get over it.
“You know…” she started speaking, her eyes fixed on a spot across the street. “I’ve been a fan for over 10 years.”
Nick frowned but didn’t get the chance to speak before she continued. “I always liked your music as a group, but it was because of you that I became a fan in the first place.” She took a deep breath. “I have three older sisters. They were always into these hard rock bands, and I hated it. So I went a totally different direction, and ended up with you. They teased me so much because of it. It was hard. I was the backstreet girl to them, to everybody. But still, I kept defending you and doing everything in my power to make them like you. But it only made things worse. You made it worse. I always wanted to be with you, and everybody always laughed at me for believing that we would be together one day.” She stopped and turned her head to look at him for a few seconds. “Give me a chance Nick. Forget about Ali. She’s probably dead anyways, you don’t need her. What do you say?”
Nick couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Be with her. He’d rather be with a dirt bag. He avoided her question, and decided that he had to push her buttons a little if he was ever going to get something out of her. He was tired, but he realized that this might me the only chance he would get, and that he had to take full advantage of it.
“Are you even a real police officer?” He asked without looking at her, his voice sounding weak, but yet very interested.
“Of course.” She laughed at his question. “I’d never have gotten the chance to come here with you if I wasn’t an officer. Granger trusted me. He’s so naïve.”
“Did you have anything to do with Ali’s disappearance?”
She shook her head. “No, of course not. This was just an opportunity to get closer to you.”
“But to prevent me from finding her…”
Tara shrugged. “I’ll do anything to have you to myself.”
“I’ll never be with you Tara. Why can’t you see that?”
“I do see it… That’s why I’m here right now.”
Nick looked at her. She looked almost sad as she spoke now, and it was making him nervous. He shook his head. “I don’t understand…”
“If we can’t be together here and now, I’ll find a way. If I don’t appeal to you in this world, there’s always somewhere else.”
Nick looked confused, and kept looking at her, trying to read her expression. It wasn’t until then that he noticed the gun attached to her belt. She saw him looking at it and smirked.
“If I can’t be with you, no one should.”
She slowly moved her hand to pull out the gun, and Nick felt his heart raze as he suddenly realized what she was talking about.
Was she going to kill him?
He wanted to react and defend himself, but as much as he wanted to, he didn’t care. A million thoughts ran through is mind at that exact moment, and for every memory that filled his head, the image of Ali became clearer and clearer to him. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back to let his mind focus on Ali and not Tara sitting next to him, ready to pull the trigger. Before he knew it, the sound of a gunshot filled the air and he closed his eyes even tighter to wait for the pain.
A pain that never came.
Slowly, after a few moments of not moving an inch, he opened his eyes. Granger was standing before him, looking down at Tara’s body on the ground. She was sitting next to the bench, leaning her back against the wall, her eyes closed, breathing heavily.
Tara had been shot.
Not him.
Tara.
The only person who would ever be able to give away what she knew about Ali. Nick looked at Granger with horror and quickly kneeled down in front of Tara. Placing his hands on her shoulder, he started shaking her.
“Where is she Tara? Tell me!”
She opened her eyes and looked him straight in the eyes, but never said a word.
“Please. She’s everything to me. You have to tell me. I’ll even forgive you for all of this, if you just let me know where she is.”
Tara laughed a little. A hollow laughter that made Nick feel nothing but resentment towards her. But to his surprise, she answered him.
“She’s in there….” Tara lifted her right hand and pointed towards the barn behind them.
Nick looked up at Granger who shook his head.
They had been in there several times before, and not once had they found anything. Not even a slightest clue.
“Please, Tara. Tell us the truth. We know she’s not in there…” He could see her fading away as he watched her close her eyes again and he prayed a silent prayer that she could still hear him.
“She’s in there…” She said again, her voice sounding weaker. “There’s a hatch.”
It was the last thing she said before Nick watched her head fall to the side, and he knew that she was gone. He didn’t know if he felt relieved or angry.
There was a hatch.

There’s a hatch.

~*~

She was so tired. The food she had been given days before was long gone and at that moment, the only thing on her mind was the gun lying before her. Right then, it seemed so inviting. It could end everything in only a few seconds and take her to a better place where she felt no hunger, cold or pain. But still, wherever she went if she decided to end it, something would still be missing.

Nick…

She had tried several times to crawl over to the door across the room that was double bolted, but as the days passed and she got weaker and weaker, she wasn’t able to move without feeling pain in every inch of her body. Screaming for help felt useless to her, as her voice was so weak she even had trouble hearing it herself. The only thing she could do was sit on the cold mattress and try her hardest not to fall asleep. Sometimes, she wanted to give in and close her eyes for a few hours, but at the same time she was afraid that she wouldn’t wake up if she did. For the past couple of days, she had been in a state somewhere in between, not sure if she was dreaming at times, or if she was awake.

Sometimes, she thought she heard voices and footsteps from above, which gave her a feeling that she was under ground, in a basement maybe. But she wasn’t sure. In a way, she didn’t really care either. She was so tired that she had almost given up, so tired that she didn’t even feel cold anymore. But the hunger was definitely there. So much that it hurt just thinking about it.

A sob escaped her lips as she begun to realize that the end was drawing nearer. At that moment she wanted more than anything to have Nick with her. He always made her feel safe, and the thought of death scared her beyond her own imagination. If he could only be there to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright.

A tear made its way down her cheek.
Everything will be alright.

Chapter 23

Nick felt numb.
All this time, for weeks, they had been searching high and low, and just like that, with one simple word they were closer to the core than they had ever been.

A hatch…

He sat down on the snow covered side walk to let it sink in for a moment. Gurgling sounds could be heard from Tara’s body lying on the ground next to him. He felt the urge to confront her again, but knew that the sounds were just waves of life washing over her one last time. Across the street he could see Granger pacing back and forth talking on his cell phone. Nick could clearly hear him, but the words he spoke seemed distant and meaningless. He turned around half way and looked at the barn behind him.

Was she in there?
Could it really be that simple?

He wanted to run inside and find the hatch that they had missed several times, but he couldn’t move. He was scared. Scared beyond belief of what he might find.

Ali. Dead?
Alive?

He had been inside the barn before. Why hadn’t he heard her cry for help?

“Nick?”
Granger was suddenly standing next to him. He had a look on his face that Nick couldn’t quite make out. It was a mixture of sadness, relief, curiosity and nervousness.
“Cody’s on his way, and the ambulance will be here in a few minutes to take away Tara’s body. We’ll be ready to go inside the barn after they’ve been here.”
Nick only nodded his head. He wanted to argue and tell him that they should start looking for Ali right away, that she was depending on them, that she needed him, but he couldn’t. His hands were shaking, his vision seemed blurry and he had no idea what to say or how to react.
“I’m sorry Nick…” Granger sat down next to him and ran his hand across his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you when you told me about Tara.”
Nick shrugged.
“We’ll find her buddy.” He patted Nick on the back, a fatherly gesture that made Nick close his eyes and let his thoughts drift away again. He saw his family gather around the dining room table, he saw Aaron as a kid riding a bicycle, him and Brian goofing around backstage, his mom cutting his hair, and himself as he sat there on the cold sidewalk in Siberia.

And then there was Ali.

Memories of her filled his mind and he prayed a silent prayer that she was still ok.

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there, when he heard several voices surrounding him. He slowly lifted his head and opened his eyes to see Tara’s body being carried away. It was a surreal image. She was lying on a stretcher, a white sheet covering her body, as two paramedics were carrying her down the deserted streets of Tura. Snow was falling to the ground and the blue lights from the ambulance could be seen at the end of the street. It was a sad image, yet all Nick could think about was that he didn’t want to have to see it again as the night went on.

“You ready?” Granger approached him. “The area’s been cleared. The barn is all ours.”
Nick took a deep breath and slowly stood up. Everything around him seemed to be going in slow motion and all he could do was nod. He followed Granger and Cody, who had arrived with the paramedics, into the barn, where searchlights had been set up to shut out the darkness.
“If there’s a hatch, that means we’re probably looking for lose cardboards on the floor.” Granger said as the three men stopped in the middle of the large room. They all looked around for a few seconds, inhaling the scent of old, raw wood.
“We’ll work our way across the room, search every square feet in this building, and be as accurate as possible.”
Nick and Cody nodded as they all spread around the room, checking every inch on the cold floor.

Half an hour later, they still hadn’t found anything, and Nick was starting to feel irritated and anxious. He had been crawling on the floor, knocking on the wooden planks, running his hands across torn nails and pressing his ear against the cold surface to listen for any sounds. Standing up, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He wanted to scream, to cry, hit something, do something. Every emotion under the sun was washing over him, and it was driving him mad not knowing what to do about it.

Looking across the room, he spotted the large container in the far corner. Frowning, he moved a little closer to it. It was covering a large amount of floor space.

Could it be?

“Guys.” He said silently, still moving across the floor. “What about the container? Have any of you been looking there?”
Granger and Cody stopped what they were doing and walked up to Nick, both shaking their heads.
“One person alone couldn’t possibly have the strength to move that thing around on his own. It’s too large.” Cody stated as they approached the container.
“But one person can climb into it. The bottom is missing.” Granger was standing on a wooden box looking into the container. “And there’s a hatch.”

Nick felt his heart skip a beat at Grangers words. For a few seconds, he had to lean against the wall behind him as he felt his knees go weak. Before he knew it, Granger had disappeared inside the container, ready to open the hatch.
“Wait!” Nick jerked out of his state of dizziness. He quickly walked over to where Granger had been standing seconds before, and leaned over the edge. Looking down, Granger was now standing next to a hatch. It was quite large, and if it hadn’t been hidden the way it had, they would have spotted it immediately.
“Could I…. you know… Maybe it would be best if I…” Nick muttered. His voice was shaking and he had a hard time focusing.
“Are you sure?” Granger instantly knew what Nick was talking about.
“Yes.” He whispered. “If she’s down there… Even if she’s alive or not, I need to see her. If she’s alive, she needs me. I know she does.”
Granger nodded his head in approval and climbed out of the container to switch places with Nick. Seconds later, Nick found himself next to the hatch. He knew that that particular moment would forever be glued to his mind, and he prayed that it would lead up to something good, and not haunt him as a nightmare.
“Open it.” Granger said, throwing Nick a pair of plastic gloves. Nick knew by then, after weeks of watching the investigation, that he had to wear them to prevent leaving his fingerprints or destroying those that might already be there.
He carefully put on the gloves, struggling a little because his hands were shaking so much.
As soon as the gloves were on, he bent down and carefully opened the hatch by pulling the rusty iron handle. He was almost afraid to look down the hole, but forced himself to do so.
He found himself looking down a narrow staircase. It was obviously very old, and some of the cardboards were missing.

“You want me to come?” Granger asked, seeing Nick’s look of nervousness.
Despite what he was feeling at that moment, Nick shook his head and proceeded to start walking down the stairs.
“We’ll be right here. Call if you need our help, ok? Let us know what you see.”
By then, Nick was already half way down the stairs, feeling his heart beating faster and faster by ever step. As he reached the bottom, he stopped for a moment, taking off the gloves while looking around.

The room was dark, and smelled like old mould. It seemed to Nick, like the room had been dug into the ground, because there were no actual walls or floor. He was standing on the bare ground. He turned around to look behind the stairs, and his heart skipped a beat.
He was looking at a door. It was large and made out of thick wooden planks. Walking closer, he noticed that it was double bolted with two heavy iron plates that were blocking the door to anyone trying to get out from the inside.

For a few seconds, Nick felt like running up the stairs again and get Granger to open it, but a voice told him to stay and do it by himself. He knew he was strong enough physically, but once again, he found that he was scared of what he might find on the other side.
Shaking away his fears, he grabbed a hold on the first iron plate and lifted it up to remove it from the door. It was surprisingly easy, and seconds later, the second one had also been removed.

Nick felt like he was watching himself from the outside as he stood there, looking at the door ready to be opened. He didn’t know why, but he knew what he was about to find on the other side, and it scared him.

This is it…

With all the strength he had left, he pushed the door open and closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to prepare himself for what he might see.

She was sure she had heard voices, sounds, coming from above. They were faint, but yet, she had heard them. A part of her wondered if she was hallucinating, as she was trying to stay awake, yet she knew what she had heard.

It sounded like him.

But, after a while, they were gone, and she went back to the state where she had been the past few days. It wasn’t until she heard the large wooden door across the room open, that she forced herself back to reality.

He slowly opened his eyes to let them get used to the darkness. Only a small ray of light from the opening above the staircase made its way across the room.

But it was all he needed.

It was all he needed to see what he had been longing for, for so long.
“Ali…” He whispered, as a wave of relief washed over him. He couldn’t believe it. She was really there, right in front of him, looking so fragile and torn that all he wanted to do was protect her and take away her pain.

Their eyes met for the first time in almost a year and a half, and Nick was sure his heart stopped beating for a few seconds.

Time stood still.

For a moment, she thought she was dreaming, but as she heard him whisper her name, she knew he was for real. She wanted to stand up and run over to him, but she was so weak, she couldn’t move a muscle. Only her eyes were able to show him that she had seen him, that she had longed for him, missed him, for so long.

She had waited and waited, cried, screamed, hurt, and there he was, standing right in front of her. Tears filled her eyes as she realized that it was finally over.

He was finally able to move, and with trembling legs, he almost ran across the room to sit down next to her. Falling down on his knees, he felt tears erupting from his eyes. They came so fast that he couldn’t do anything to hold them back, but for the first time, he didn’t want to either. He knew it was time to let go of all the emotions that had been buried in him for so long.

It was finally time to let go.

Carefully, he pulled her into his arms, wanting more than anything to let her know that everything was alright. That he was there to protect her.

”God… Ali.” He whispered while tears were rolling down his cheek.
Her whole body was trembling and he ran his hand through her hair to calm her down while rocking her back and forth.
“Shhh, it ok. I’m here now.”

Nick is here.

Cradling her, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, smelling her and feeling her cold skin against his as she continued to sob.
“I missed you so much…” He whispered between his own sobs.

I missed you too…

She wanted to speak, but she was completely drained from all the emotions that were rushing over her. It was too much for her at that moment, but even though she didn’t say anything, she knew that he knew what she was feeling.

“I’m so sorry I took so long…” He apologized silently, knowing that he was forgiven long before he was even there. He just needed to say it anyways. “I never stopped looking.”
But she already knew.

For what seemed like forever, the two of them just sat there, crying together, feeling nothing and everything at the same time. At that moment, time stood still, and only the sound of two people crying silently, could be heard. For someone unknowingly, looking in, it was the sound of sadness, but to Nick and Ali, it was the sound of a new beginning and a life that was finally complete.

Epilogue

3 days later.

Nick and AJ were sitting in the hotel restaurant having a late dinner. That was the way it had been for the past few days. So much was going on ever since they had found Ali, even more than it had been when she was still missing. There were still many unanswered questions and lose ends that needed to be tied up. Ali had a lot to tell, but she was still very weak and Granger didn’t want to rush it. Nick was overprotective when it came to Ali, and spent all his time with her, only leaving her side when it was time for dinner. They had breakfast and lunch together, but when it was time for dinner, Ali was already asleep, exhausted after spending the day catching up with Nick.

The first night after Ali was found, she had been given a room next to Nick’s, but as soon as he left her to sleep, she came after him, begging him to stay with her. And so, that’s what he had done. He spent every night, rocking her to sleep and making sure that she was ok. He didn’t mind though.

“How is she?” AJ asked as he sat down opposite to Nick, picking up the menu and reading it slowly.
“Weak… but fine. Thank god.”
“Weird having her back, huh?”
Nick nodded his head. “Yea… I still can’t believe she’s really here. You know, I can’t even sleep at night cause I’m afraid that I’ll wake up and this is all going to be a dream. I keep finding myself staring at her, or smiling just because she made a sound in her sleep, or something like that.”
AJ smiled, shaking his head.
“What?”
“I wish I knew what kinda relationship you guys have. Or I mean, I do know, but I wish I knew what it feels like to have a connection like that with someone.”
“I wish I knew what to tell you, but it’s weird, you know…”
AJ nodded and the two friends continued to look through the menu.

“I don’t think I ever thanked you for coming with me.” Nick said after a few minutes of silence.
AJ shrugged. “No need to thank me. I know you would’ve done the same for me.”
“Yea.”
“Ok, so maybe you wouldn’t have taken a bullet for me, or spent days and nights without any sleep whatsoever, but well…”
“Hey!” Nick said in a high pitched voice, pretending to be hurt.
“Just kidding.” AJ laughed.

The two boys ordered their dinner and spent the rest of the night talking about the past few weeks and what they had been through, but how it was all worth it.

“I’m gonna head off to bed.” Nick said after almost two hours.
“Are you sleeping in the same bed as Ali?” AJ asked, curious to know what was happening between the two friends.
Nick nodded. “Yea. She keeps having these nightmares and if I leave for more then a couple of hours, she freaks out. I don’t mind spending as much time with her though. I think I need her just as much as she needs me right now, to be honest with you. It’s good to get some closure. I just can’t wait to get home and start over again.”
“Yea, I know what you mean. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.”
“Sure thing.” Nick said as he stood up and walked out of the restaurant.

A few minutes later, he entered the room he shared with Ali. It was dark and a little chilly. The Siberian nights had become even colder since he had brought Ali back.
Nick took a few steps into the room and let his eyes rest on the bed. Sobbing sounds could be heard, and he instantly knew that Ali was having another one of her nightmares. Quickly, he kicked off his shoes, and walked across the room to lie down next to her. He could feel her whole body shaking as he gently pulled her close to him.
“Ali, wake up.” He whispered soothingly while stroking her hair. “It ok, it’s just a bad dream. Everything is ok.”
She jerked out of her dream, and slowly turned around to face Nick.
Nick sat up a little, bringing her with him and cradling her while he continued to whisper comforting words in her ear. It was an intense moment for both of them. To Ali, it was a feeling of being safe and protected by someone who loved her. To Nick, it was the feeling of relief and closure after finally having his best friend back in his life.

After a while, Ali calmed down a little.
“I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time Nick…” She said. Her voice was weak and soft as she spoke.
“Hey…” Nick lifted her head to make her look at him. “Don’t say that. I got my best friend back. I would do it again if I had to. The most important thing is that you’re ok.”
Ali sighed and rested her head on Nick’s chest.
“I’m scared Nick…” She whispered as she felt tears welling up in her eyes again.
“Why?”
“I don’t know… Everything’s chanced so much since I’ve been gone. I don’t know if I’ll fit in anymore. I’m scared of being left alone, scared of the dark, and every time I close my eyes, I see myself struggling to get away from something that I don’t even know. What if he comes back, Nick…” She was trembling now, and Nick placed his arms protectively around her.
“He’s not coming back Ali. He’ll be in jail for many years, and even when he does get out, I’ll be there to protect you. I’m never going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”
Ali sighed, and looked up at him again. “Thank you.” She whispered, as her lips formed a small smile.
“Everything will be alright.” He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead.

Everything will be alright.


THE END