Summary: He is a fallen from grace pop prince. She is a rising silver screen princess. They've got nothing in common...except a thirst for success. When an unlikely duo turns the entertainment world on its ear, will they find the success they so badly need or will they go down in flames?
Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys
Characters: Nick
Genres: Angst, Drama, Humor, Romance
Warnings: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 56
Completed: Yes
Word count: 143668
Read: 136608
Published: 07/14/06
Updated: 11/20/07
1. Prologue by starbeamz2
2. Chapter 1 by starbeamz2
3. Chapter 2 by starbeamz2
4. Chapter 3 by starbeamz2
5. Chapter 4 by starbeamz2
6. Chapter 5 by starbeamz2
7. Chapter 6 by starbeamz2
8. Chapter 7 by starbeamz2
9. Chapter 8 by starbeamz2
10. Chapter 9 by starbeamz2
11. Chapter 10 by starbeamz2
12. Chapter 11 by starbeamz2
13. Chapter 12 by starbeamz2
14. Chapter 13 by starbeamz2
15. Chapter 14 by starbeamz2
16. Chapter 15 by starbeamz2
17. Chapter 16 by starbeamz2
18. Chapter 17 by starbeamz2
19. Chapter 18 by starbeamz2
20. Chapter 19 by starbeamz2
21. Chapter 20 by starbeamz2
22. Chapter 21 by starbeamz2
23. Chapter 22 by starbeamz2
24. Chapter 23 by starbeamz2
25. Chapter 24 by starbeamz2
26. Chapter 25 by starbeamz2
27. Chapter 26 by starbeamz2
28. Chapter 27 by starbeamz2
29. Chapter 28 by starbeamz2
30. Chapter 29 by starbeamz2
31. Chapter 30 by starbeamz2
32. Chapter 31 by starbeamz2
33. Chapter 32 by starbeamz2
34. Chapter 33 by starbeamz2
35. Chapter 34 by starbeamz2
36. Chapter 35 by starbeamz2
37. Chapter 36 by starbeamz2
38. Chapter 37 by starbeamz2
39. Chapter 38 by starbeamz2
40. Chapter 39 by starbeamz2
41. Chapter 40 by starbeamz2
42. Chapter 41 by starbeamz2
43. Chapter 42 by starbeamz2
44. Chapter 43 by starbeamz2
45. Chapter 44 by starbeamz2
46. Chapter 45 by starbeamz2
47. Chapter 46 by starbeamz2
48. Chapter 47 by starbeamz2
49. Chapter 48 by starbeamz2
50. Chapter 49 by starbeamz2
51. Chapter 50 by starbeamz2
52. Chapter 51 by starbeamz2
53. Chapter 52 by starbeamz2
54. Chapter 53 by starbeamz2
55. Chapter 54 by starbeamz2
56. Chapter 55 by starbeamz2
Some days I wake up and wonder, “When will all the hard work pay off?” I have yet to come up with an answer to that question, but I’m still hoping that I’ll find out one of these days.
I’ve spent years pouring sweat, tears, and the occasional drops of blood into being successful. There have been the ups and downs. For every believer, there have been a hundred skeptics. There is little in life that I want more than to succeed and slap that in their faces. “Look at me! You said I’d never make it, and I have.”
Maybe one day.
This morning, I asked myself if I was happy. The honest answer I gave myself was “I don’t know.” I want to be happy quite desperately, but I’m afraid that, the second I achieve my sacred happiness, the world will yank it out from under my feet. So, for the time being, I’m sticking to reminding myself that I have people in my life that I love and who love me, I have a home, health, and, hopefully, some wisdom. Though the jury’s still out on the wisdom.
And hope. I have hope in spades. I have to believe that every sacrifice, every tear I’ve shed, every muscle I’ve strained has been for something. So I’ll hope.
For without hope, what do I, as a person, really have?
She checked for stray pieces of hair that might be sticking out from her perfectly coiffed hair. Of course, there were none because the hotshot hairdresser had promised her perfection. Considering the fact that he’d styled Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry’s hair for the Oscars, she believed him. Both the hairdresser and the stylist who’d recommended her dress were the crème de la crème of their businesses, and she had no doubt they knew exactly what they were doing when they made her up. She looked, literally, like a million bucks.
It still didn’t stop her from wanting to crawl under the covers and never come out again.
“Oh, buck up, pal,” she muttered to her image in the mirror. “You’ve been waiting for this moment, and it’s here.” The butterflies in her stomach were vicious enough to make her wonder if she’d make it through the night.
It had taken countless commercials and music videos, begging producers, sweet-talking directors, and flat-out harassing people to get her to this moment. The past six months had been a dream come true while she’d worked with one of the A-list directors in Hollywood. She’d put her sweat, blood, and life into getting to this moment. Every heartbreak of the last twenty-three years had brought her where she was destined to be.
“And you’re freaking out over a stupid movie premiere,” she told herself scornfully. “After all the hard work you’ve done, all it takes is a movie premiere to bring you down?” Her scowl deepened. “You’re pathetic. And you’re an actress, so act through the nerves.”
“Are you done with the pep talk?”
She looked over to the doorway to her room and smiled weakly at her agent and best friend. “I’m a mess, Liz. Help?”
Liz moved to her friend and, taking her hands, shook them a little. “You’re going to be great! You know this, I know this. Hell, even Gabe Peterson knows this! He cast you because he knew you had talent, and you’re going to take Tinseltown by storm.”
“I don’t know.” Uncertainty furrowed her brow. “It feels like I’m mush inside. I think I’m going to pass out.”
“No,” Liz said firmly. “You’re not. The media is going to see you on that red carpet and kiss your feet. You look amazing, and they’ll all be buzzing about you. More so because you’re going to be on Peterson’s arm. They’ll never be able to contain their voracious appetites.”
“I hope so.” She mentally crossed every one of her fingers and toes. “I really hope so.”
“Mama!”
She looked down into laughing green eyes as her legs were attacked. “There’s my girl. There’s my darling.” Her nerves forgotten, she reached down to pick up the toddler, but Liz stopped her.
“Don’t. You’re going to ruin the look if you pick her up.”
She narrowed her eyes and picked up the baby anyway, ignoring her friend’s moan. “She’s my daughter, and I’ll darn well pick her up when she wants me to. Isn’t that right, sweetie?” The year old baby giggled as her mother pressed light kisses to her face, unmindful of the lipstick she wore. “Sorry, Liz. I can’t stop myself. But I am really grateful that you agreed to baby-sit for me.”
Liz waved it off. “Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with my goddaughter? Right, Lily?” She held out her arms to the baby. “Come to Aunt Lizzie because Mama’s got a big gig she’s got to get to.” Lily grinned and eased into Liz’s arms.
“Well, she certainly loves you more than me.”
“Nah. She just knows she can’t ruin her mom’s great look.” Liz glanced up at the clock. “You’d better get a move on. Gabe’s probably waiting already.”
The nerves returned in full force, butterflies and all, as she realized it was time to make her first big appearance. “Wish me luck, Liz.” She kissed Lily’s cheek. “I’m going to need as much as I can get.”
Liz and Lily watched her hop in her car and back down the driveway. “She’s going to be amazing,” Liz assured the toddler. “Autumn always is.”
***
Am I gaining weight again? He tugged at the dark green shirt he wore, hoping that it was his imagination that made it seem as though he’d been putting the pounds back on. After all the taunting and teasing he’d endured for years, the last thing he needed was the fat jokes. He might punch one of the reporters, which, of course, was the last thing he needed. But it’ll probably up the ratings. And E! will love that.
“Yo, Nick! Let’s get this show on the road!” There was a knock on the door. “The night’s young, and I ain’t getting any younger! I’m ready to party and you better be, too!”
Nick rolled his eyes. “I’m coming, Bean. Gimme a sec.”
“Sure thing, Mr. Hotshot. I’ll be waiting in the Jag.”
Nick turned back to the mirror. “Please let it be my imagination that thinks I’m looking chubby again,” he muttered. “Please, God. I don’t want to go to the gym every, freaking day again.”
Sighing again as he looked himself over in the mirror, he pulled open the door and walked out of his bedroom. As he made his way down the stairs, he noticed the clutter—clothes, shoes, handbags, and even a few pieces of pricey jewelry were scattered along every available surface and peeked out from beneath newspapers, magazines, and other odds and ends. Takeout containers and random utensils were propped up on tables and next to the couches. He made a face, thinking that he was getting too old to have a house look this way.
“What’s wrong with your face, Nick?”
He looked up from the mess and into his sister’s eyes. “Les, do you think the house could get any dirtier?” He gestured around the living room. “I mean, Jesus, we let America into this place, but we sure as hell can’t keep it clean.”
She rolled her eyes. “Nick, we get paid to make messes. America fucking loves when we make a mess.”
Right. “It doesn’t matter because I want it cleaned.”
“Who died and made you king of the world?”
He tried to control his temper. “I own this house, and I will damn well see it clean. Come on, Leslie, I don’t want to fight. I got a premiere to get to and-”
“Oh, right. Nick freaking Carter gets to go to the movie premieres, but the rest of us have to clean the house? I don’t think so. Just get a damn cleaning crew.” She smirked. “We have the money for it.”
“You know what? I don’t want to do this right now, so you do what you want.” He looked around the room again. “I’ll clean it.”
He stalked out of the room, wondering why his anger was simmering. “It’s just a mess. Nothing you haven’t lived with all your life.” He couldn’t pinpoint exactly why it was beginning to bother him now.
“Nick! You really think you’re going to clean this place?” Leslie followed him, laughing. “You’ve never kept your own room clean. How do you expect to know how to clean an entire house?”
Nick yanked open the front door and scowled at the tripod that the camera crew must have forgotten. He shoved it out of the way and stepped onto the porch. “I told you, I’ll clean it. Don’t wait up, and no one’s allowed to have a wild party while I’m gone.”
“No, we just wait until you’re here before we have one,” she reminded him.
“Yeah, whatever.” Bean honked the horn, grinning wildly from the driver’s seat. “Later, sis.”
He listened to Bean’s voice chatter on about the latest party, his random hookups, and the newest clubs that they just had to check out soon. The words, usually something he listened to eagerly, slid off him this time as he stared out the window at Beverly Hills in the early evening light. Somehow, none of the parties were really interesting him at the moment. If it hadn’t been for the fact that his managers had decided that Nick had to attend as many red carpets as possible to promote the reality show, he would have gladly stayed at home and cleaned the house. Afterwards, he could just shut himself in his room and relax. Without the world bothering him.
I wonder what it would be like to be normal?
“Hello? Earth to Nick!” The hand waving in front of his face jerked him out of his thoughts.
“Huh?” He looked over at Bean, who was watching him with a bemused expression.
“What’s up, Carter? Thinking about all the crazy shit we’re going to do tonight at the parties after this premiere?” Bean grinned. “Dude, I love these things!”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like you’re going to the actual thing,” Nick reminded him.
Bean shifted gears and turned at the traffic light. “Man, you know I don’t do the whole red carpet deal. But, hey, whenever you’re up for a good party, you know who to call, right?”
“Right.” He turned to stare out the window again. “You know where to drop me off, right? We’re not going to get lost this time?”
“Hey, I was drunk last time. That’s why we got lost!” Bean insisted.
Nick rolled his eyes. When was the guy not sloshed? “Of course. Anyway, just meet me up there at, like, eleven, and we can head to wherever the parties are at.”
“Yes, Dad.” Bean slid him a look as he maneuvered into the drop-off zone outside of the movie theater. The crowd was huge, and he was sure he could see the back of Owen Wilson’s head. “Lighten up, Nick. Jeez, you sound like your ex-Backstreet pal, Kevin.”
He swallowed the ball of anger in his throat and reminded himself that there was no need to get angry. Obviously, he’d rolled out the wrong side of his bed that morning. “Sorry, dawg. I just don’t want to miss the kick-ass parties that are bound to be around after this.” He hoped the excuse would work with Bean.
“That makes sense.” Bean, not one to really think any more than necessary, shrugged. “Well, this is where the wagon stops. Show the world how badass Nick Carter is!”
Nick nodded and stepped out of the car, his automatic smile in place. He nodded to security then plunged into the red carpet fray of fans, flashbulbs, and paparazzi.
“You’re doing great, Autumn,” Gabe Peterson murmured as he helped her into a seat in the theater. “See, it wasn’t that bad.”
Autumn smiled. “Yeah, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. At least I didn’t trip and fall on anyone.”
“They’re all going to start talking about you soon,” he told her. “And when they talk about you, they’ll talk about the movie. Your star is rising, Autumn. Enjoy it.”
She would, Autumn thought, as the house lights dimmed for the beginning of the film. She’d made it through the red carpet ordeal, answered questions about who she was, and the reporters had begun to show interest in her. The fact that she’d shown up on an Oscar-nominated director’s arm hadn’t hurt her either. Of course, she didn’t plan on continuing to use Gabe as an entryway into Hollywood. She’d made it to this point using her guts, determination, and talent, and she fully planned on continuing to use her assets to propel her up the ladder.
When the movie ended, she applauded politely and listened to the actors speak about it and answer the audience and fellow Hollywood A-listers’ questions. Though she tried to pay attention, Autumn discovered that she didn’t even really know what had happened during the film nor did she really hear what anyone was saying. The butterflies had fluttered to life again when the house lights had lit up and reminded her of the soirees she had to attend for the next few hours. It was there that she was to seriously start to mingle with other celebrities.
She was dreading it more than she’d dreaded having her wisdom teeth pulled.
***
“Alright! Now this is what I’m talking about!” Bean thrust a glass into Nick’s hand and grinned widely. “I love this lifestyle!”
“I’ll bet you do,” Nick muttered to himself. His black mood was still hanging over him, and it had worsened when Bean had picked him up again. He didn’t really remember the movie, but he remembered feeling resentment towards all the other celebrities in the room. The ones who weren’t ridiculed in the media, anyway.
Bean slapped his back. “So, see any hot ladies around that would love to give good old Rob a try?” His sharp gaze scanned the room, not noting Nick’s ears begin to steam. “Check out that one,” he murmured with a low whistle. “I’ll bet she’s just dying to meet me.”
Nick followed his friend’s gaze and noted that it was stuck on another blonde bimbo with more money than brains. Yup, he decided, she was perfect for Bean. “Why don’t you go get her, man? I’ll understand if I don’t see you later. I’ll catch a cab home.”
“Yeah?” Bean’s eyes were glued to the woman. “Well, then, Nicky boy. I’ll see you later.”
“Sure,” Nick murmured, frowning into his glass. “I bet you will.”
“Is the alcohol talking back to you?” A voice next to him spoke, amusement dripping from the words.
Nick looked up and into dark green eyes. Their owner wore a small smile on her face and was watching him curiously. “Uh, no. It’s not talking at all.” He shrugged. “Sometimes, I wish it would. It would probably be more interesting to listen to than some of the people here.”
“You mean the ones who can only talk about themselves? Sure,” she said with a shrug, “I bet vodka would be infinitely more interesting to listen to.” She held out a hand. “I’m Autumn Evans, and you are…?”
Nick set the glass down on a nearby table and took her hand. “Nick Carter. Autumn Evans, huh?”
“Yeah, why?” One dark eyebrow arched. “Do you have a problem with that?”
Nick grinned and shook his head. “No, I don’t think I’ve ever heard your name before.”
“Well, I can say the same to you,” she replied, drawing her hand out of his.
He was sure his ego had just deflated. “You’ve never, uh, heard of Nick Carter?” She shook her head. “How about the Backstreet Boys?”
Autumn shook her head again and laughed. “Sorry, I must be an anomaly in this business. I don’t really keep track of who’s who in entertainment.” She looked around the large, busy room. “I guess I probably should, huh?”
“If you want to make it in the business, yeah. You might want to,” he advised her. “So, what exactly do you do? Are you an agent, producer?”
Her smile made his fingers itch to trace the pretty, bow-shaped mouth. “No, I’m an actress. And you don’t believe me,” she added, seeing his skeptical look. “Actually, my first project wrapped up a couple months ago and is coming out in another month. I worked with Gabe Peterson,” she explained.
The name rung a bell. “Oh, really? Well, congratulations. I’m sure the movie’s going to be great! You’ll be an instant star.”
“Good to know,” she answered, accepting a margarita from one of the wait-staff.
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, and Nick took the time to study her. She wasn’t very tall, he thought, noting that she rose to his shoulders because of the three-inch heels she wore. Her hair, a deep mahogany that seemed to shine with hints of red, was done up into one of those fancy, curly buns that Nick thought were a perfectly good waste of pretty hair. The green eyes that had caught him off-guard topped a pixie-perfect nose. It reminded him of fairies, and he smiled to himself at the thought. She wore a deep blue dress that left her shoulders bare, dipped low in the back, and fell to her knees.
“Are you done examining me, yet?”
Nick’s eyes returned to her face, and he grinned. “You’re quick.”
“I know when a guy’s checking me out,” she said simply. “Besides, I was wondering who you were and who the Backstreet Boys are.”
He tapped her nose, absently. “You must have lived under a rock seven years ago to not know who the Backstreet Boys are. Seriously, you would have been the right age to be the perfect teenybopper fan.” He grinned at her frown. “We’re a singing group, and I’m the youngest member out of the five—no, four of us,” he corrected himself.
“Oh.” She nodded. “Maybe I’ll go home and find you on the Internet.”
“You should try LiveDaily,” he advised her. “We’re all over that site.”
She nodded, downing the rest of her drink. “I’ll do that.” Autumn could see her publicist waving. “Well, Nick. It was nice to meet you, and good luck on whatever you’re doing.”
“Yeah, you, too. I’ll watch for your movie.” He shook her hand again and watched her disappear into the crowd.
Deciding that the party was pretty much a waste of his time, he wove his way through fellow celebrities and made his way to the door. On his way out, he realized that his bad mood had disappeared while he’d been talking to Autumn. It made him frown slightly, but the alcohol swimming in his bloodstream prevented him from really thinking on it too much.
***
“You were talking to Nick Carter!”
Autumn lifted a brow. “And, your point is…?”
Her publicist, Sherrie, sighed dramatically. “Autumn, we really do need to give you a crash course on who’s who in this town. Nick Carter is currently on a huge reality show on the E! channel.”
“Really? He told me he sings in a band.” Autumn frowned. “Was he lying about the Backstreet Boys thing?”
Sherrie shook her head and stifled the urge to sigh again. “Honey, I love you like a sister, but you’re too much sometimes. The Backstreet Boys exist, and Nick is a part of the group. It’s not doing too well anymore because the era of boy bands is over, but they’re still big names in their own right.”
“Oh. So why are you freaking out over me talking to Nick?”
“I’m not freaking out,” Sherrie replied primly. “I’m happy that you were seen with Nick. People are going to wonder who you are, and it’ll generate more hype for you and your movie.”
Autumn rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Just because I was talking to him does not mean that people are going to automatically wonder about me.”
“Would you bet on that?” Sherrie grinned. “Because, whether or not the Backstreet Boys are big names or not, they’ve still got some hardcore fans. The second they see a picture of the two of you together, they’ll find out who you are and won’t stop talking about you. It’s a surefire way to get publicity.”
“I don’t believe you.” She’d just talked to him. It wasn’t as though she was sleeping with the guy. Why would a bunch of fans really give a damn about her?
Sherrie smiled. “You’ll see.”
***
“I can’t believe this.” Autumn stared at the computer screen as Sherrie flipped through picture after picture of her and Nick talking. The party had been the night before and, in under twenty four hours, pictures and rumors had started circulating on the Internet.
“I told you,” Sherrie said smugly. “They’re better at this sort of stuff than the freaking CIA. People are going to know your name and what you do just because of this.”
Autumn read the name at the top of the webpage. “LiveDaily, huh? Nick told me to look at this site if I wanted to know about them.”
“Well, now you know that he’s got loyal fans, and they’ve just boosted your name in their message boards. Before you know it, you’ll be going grocery shopping incognito.” Sherrie pretended to dust her hands. “My job is going to be a piece of cake.”
“Then I guess I won’t be paying you as much,” Autumn replied. When Sherrie continued to chuckle, Autumn tuned her out and focused on the screen. Maybe she wasn’t the girlfriend these posts were making her out to be, but Sherrie was right. It was free publicity.
And that, Autumn thought, was the bottom line.
“Applesauce, peas and carrots, and, oh, here we go. Diced pears.” Autumn stowed the jars of Gerber baby foods in her shopping cart and looked down at her list again. “Milk, cereal, eggs, waffles…”
Pushing her cart down the aisles of the grocery store, she couldn’t have been more relieved to have some time off—even if it was only half a day. She’d been in and out of meetings, salons, interviews, and awards shows for the last three weeks. Each time, she’d been on display to promote her first film Rein of Silence, and, though the hype was exhilarating, she was also exhausted. All she wanted to do was finish her shopping and run home to spend quality time with Lily.
Turning down the next aisle, she froze. A camera crew was surrounding a group of people who were arguing with each other over a box of cereal, and she couldn’t help but stare. She had a second to wonder if they were filming a commercial before someone tugged on her arm.
Surprised, Autumn turned to stare up into a familiar pair of blue eyes. “Nick?”
His eyes narrowed before recognition sparked. “Autumn! Oh, good. Follow me,” he whispered, pulling her and the cart around to another aisle. They made it down three aisles before Nick stopped and leaned against a rack of tomato sauces. “Whew. I thought I’d never escape them. Thanks,” he added, aiming a thousand-watt smile at her.
She was sure she’d been blinded by it and frowned. “What the hell was that?”
“You mean you don’t know? Are you sure you’re in the business?” Nick asked her.
“You know, that’s the second time you’ve asked me that since I’ve met you, and I still have to say yes. What’s going on?”
Nick yanked a baseball cap out of his back pocket and tugged it on along with a pair of dark sunglasses. “What’s going on is that my siblings and I are filming a reality show about how dysfunctional we are. Believe me, when I say dysfunctional, I mean dysfunctional.”
“They were your siblings? Those…those people making all that fuss over a box of cereal?” Dismay was scrawled across every feature of her face, and he tried not to wince.
He sighed. “Yeah, I’ve got four younger siblings, and that’s what we’re currently doing.” He looked down at her grocery cart. “Hey, I hope I didn’t interrupt your errands or anything.”
Autumn narrowed her eyes at him. “Oh, no, of course you didn’t. I always yank myself out of the cereal aisle and away from what I’m supposed to be getting when I go grocery shopping.” She leaned in close to him and whispered, “It’s a secret ritual I have. But, shh, don’t tell anyone.”
Nick grinned. “You know, I’m appreciating the sarcasm. Really.”
“Well, I’m glad someone’s having fun.” She rolled her eyes. “Look, I really do have to get on with my shopping and get home. I’ve been on my feet all day.” She started to push the cart down the aisle again.
“Oh, yeah! I saw a preview for your movie the other day, and I was really surprised by it.” He hurried to keep up with her.
“Surprised by it? Didn’t I tell you to watch for it?” She reached for a bottle of ketchup on a high shelf.
Nick plucked it off for her and held it out. “Well, yeah, but part of me was kind of skeptical. I mean, there’s a lot of people who are always bragging in this city about how they’re gonna make it big, you know.”
“And I seemed like one of them?” Miffed, she turned away from him and strolled into the vegetables. “Thanks a lot.”
“No! I mean, yes! I mean…Damn it, Autumn!” He watched as she selected bell peppers and tomatoes. “You know, any way I answer that question, I’m going to turn out the bad guy, so I won’t answer. I’ll just say I was pleasantly surprised by the preview, and it looks like a great film.”
Pleased by his sincere-sounding compliment, she looked over at him. “Thanks. Don’t worry, Nick,” she added. “I’m guilty of suspecting you, too. I didn’t really believe the whole ‘I’m a singer’ thing either. My publicist set me straight, though. Her and that website, what was it? LiveDaily?”
He grinned. “Yeah, that’s the one. I saw those pictures of us.” The grin disappeared. “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable that they were calling you my new love interest.”
“Uncomfortable?” She shook her head. “I wasn’t uncomfortable. Publicity is publicity, Nick. I should be thanking you for having fans that are spreading my name everywhere.”
“You’re welcome, but the real credit is, of course, due to those diehard fans.” He sighed dramatically. “I don’t know where I’d be without them.”
“Right.” Autumn grabbed a head of lettuce and placed it in the cart. “So, tell me about this reality show. You and your younger brothers and sisters just sit around and argue all the time and get recorded doing it?”
“Basically? Yeah.” He didn’t want to think about it, knowing the camera crew was probably freaking out over the fact that he’d disappeared. Not to mention the fit he was sure BJ was throwing over his absence.
Autumn patted his arm. “Well don’t sound so excited about it, Nick. I can hardly be near you when you’re bubbling over about your show,” she mused sarcastically.
“I am excited, but it gets a little annoying after a while, too. It doesn’t matter, though, because viewers are giving us great ratings for our fights.”
“Great ratings, huh? You don’t want anything more out of it than that? You don’t want a better career than just pushing and shoving with your family?”
Instead, he shrugged. “That’s what we do. It’s just part of life.”
He sounded very nonchalant about it, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. “You hate it, don’t you?”
“Who, me?” Nick shook his head. “I love it! I’m getting paid to be a jerk with my sibs, and all of America is watching us duke it out over stupid things. I can’t think of an easier job.”
“And you like easy? That’s not what you seemed to be feeling a little while ago when you dragged me across the supermarket, away from your work.”
He could tell she wasn’t going to let him off easy, so he decided he’d try the Nick charm. “Listen, Autumn. I’m sorry I hijacked you and all, but the cereal war was getting a little crazy. I just needed a way out, and you helped me. Thanks and all, but I think I should probably get back to them.”
She nodded. “Of course, you should go do what you love. It must be nice to do nothing and have the world at your feet.”
If she only knew. Nick shrugged. “Of course. And, uh, I think I’m supposed to be at the premiere for your movie, so I’ll see you there.”
“Yeah, see you there,” Autumn muttered, glaring at his retreating figure. Did he really think she was stupid enough to fall for that lame excuse for an evasion of her question? “Don’t worry about him, Evans. Like he said, it’s his life.”
But she couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for him.
***
Sometimes, I just want to run away from the cameras, the fans, my family. I love them, don’t get me wrong. But when a camera is shoved in your face from the minute before you wake up to the minute after you go to bed and all the times in between—it’s enough to drive a sane man crazy. And I never claimed to be sane.
When we were touring with Millenium, I loved the hype, the crowds, the sheer rush that would just fill me up with all this energy. I was on top of the world and couldn’t be happier. I loved the cameras, and, if Brian hadn’t stopped me a couple of times, I would have danced naked in front of them. Back then, nothing mattered but the music, the guys, and our fans. I didn’t have to worry about drinking and driving, considering I wasn’t even legal then. And Mom? She was the greatest woman in the world in those days.
The entertainment industry has claimed more than just my life.
There are days when I wake up hoping that I’ll have traveled into a time warp during the night, and I’m back in those early days again. The days when the biggest thing I had to worry about was the next prank to pull on Kevin or how to bug the hell out of Howie. They’d tolerate me, sometimes even laugh along. Now, I go months without seeing them. They used to be my family, but not anymore.
When we first went on hiatus, I was thrilled. I could finally rock out to the beat of my own drum—literally. Well, we all know how badly that went. I sucked a lot more than I’d thought I would. Of course, it didn’t help that every time I heard Timberlake’s songs on the radio it felt like someone was pouring salt in my open wound. Then the whole shit with my parents went down, and I’d never felt more alone in my life.
After that, I just wanted to go back to that feeling of safety I had when I was with my big brothers—Kevin, Howie, AJ, and Brian. But I couldn’t go back because none of us are the same anymore. Our lives don’t even seem to intertwine as much anymore. Howie’s off doing something with real estate and managing a couple artists. AJ’s raising more than a few brows with his personal life, but being just as crazy as he is, I don’t say anything, except that I’m proud of him for his whole sobriety deal. I wish I had that willpower.
I remember when Brian was my B-Rok, when the world couldn’t get between us. And then Leighanne happened, he got married, and they had a kid. Not that I’m not happy for them, but I miss him. I miss fooling around with him or just having those serious talks in the middle of the night on the road. I miss Brian, but he’s doing what he loves.
When Kevin told us that he wanted to move on, get out of the Backstreet family, it felt like a ton of lead bricks had just dropped on my heart. I didn’t let it show, though. No way. Kevin wanted us to be happy for him. You could tell when you looked in his eyes. He’s dying to be a dad, and he wants to do things that he’s psyched about. It feels like the end of the legacy, though. Kevin, as much as I make fun of him, is the one guy who could really sit me down and know exactly what was going through my mind. Whenever I was upset, Kevin would know. It was kinda scary sometimes, but I love him for it.
Things are changing, and I feel like I’m being left behind by the family I chose. Maybe that’s why I started hanging out with Bean and the guys. They drink themselves to oblivion for the hell of it. I pretend that’s why I’m doing it, too. It’s not because I want to forget everything and everyone. I mean really. Why would I want to forget that I’m Nick Carter, and the only press I can manage to get these days is negative, whether it’s the snide comments about the god-awful reality show or the stupid charges I’m always getting slapped with? Nah, that’s not it at all.
The entertainment industry is fickle. I thought I’d always be on top, but I’m not. Not even close. One day, you’re at the top and nothing can bring you down. The next, you’re last week’s news and no one really gives a damn about you.
I wanted to tell Autumn Evans that. I wanted to tell her that she should savor it while it lasts because her stardom isn’t going to last long. I decided against it, though. She should be able to enjoy the ride—I did. Until I got chewed up and spit out.
Now…now, I’m nobody.
“Did you manage to ditch the Royal Guard?” Howie asked when Nick flew into the practice room and flopped into a chair.
Nick shot him a dirty look and grabbed a sheet of music sitting in the middle of the table. “I managed to escape, which means you won’t have to worry about being on television.”
“Right. Because we know how much all of us despise our TV time,” AJ put in, plunking out the tune for the song on the piano. “Besides, you were the one who was all excited about doing this show.”
“I was,” Nick muttered. “That was before I had everyone moved into the house and realized how screwed up we really are.”
Howie sighed. “Nicky, you know we’ve known from the beginning that your parents weren’t exactly model parents. It’s not your fault that your siblings are a product of their terrible upbringing.”
“But that’s exactly what we’re trying to disprove with the freaking show!” Nick muttered, frustrated. “It’s not working too well.”
AJ left the music on the piano and settled into a chair at the table. “How about we don’t bring up your side job for the rest of the day? Instead, I’ll tell you something interesting that’s got me all excited.”
“AJ, what doesn’t excite you?” Howie wondered with a slight smile.
AJ stuck his tongue out at Howie then turned back to Nick. “So you know that movie that’s got all those previews all over television and radio? You know, the one that’s supposed to be coming out soon?”
“Who’s coming out soon?” Brian asked, wandering in just in time to hear the end of AJ’s question.
“Howie,” Nick answered, not missing a beat.
Brian chuckled. “Howard! It’s about time. I was wondering when you were going to join the rest of us.” He picked at imaginary lint on Howie’s shirt and fluttered his lashes. “I’m so excited!”
Howie merely shot them the finger before looking over at AJ. “What movie?”
“Rein of Silence. I think Nick’s supposed to be at the premiere or something, right?” Nick nodded in confirmation. “So, anyway, have you seen the actress in it? Dude, she’s hot.”
“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Nick wondered.
AJ rolled his eyes. “You can’t stop a guy from appreciating a lovely female form, Nick. But, man oh man, she’s something else. I think her name’s Autumn something or other.”
“Autumn Evans,” Nick supplied.
Brian slid him a sidelong look. “Know her?”
“Sort of.”
“Really?” AJ pounced. “Tell me she’s as hot in person as she is onscreen.”
Nick lifted a shoulder. “She is.” He grinned. “Relax, AJ. I met her twice. And, after the second time, I think it’s safe to say she thinks I’m a total moron.”
“Uh-oh.” Howie and Brian exchanged glances.
“What happened?” AJ rubbed his hands together in anticipation. “Spill the details. Spare nothing.”
“She ran into the House of Carters,” Nick explained.
“Say no more,” Howie sighed.
Nick pressed his fingers to his eyes. “We were in the grocery store, and a fight broke out over cereal.”
“Cereal?” Brian raised his eyes to the ceiling. “God, I beg you. Why? Haven’t we seen enough?”
Nick ignored him. “Aaron grabbed Froot Loops, and Leslie told him that no one in their right mind ate those because they’re just sugar.”
“She’s right,” Howie interrupted.
“Whatever it was, they got into a fight. Then Angel and BJ start arguing because Angel agrees with Leslie, and BJ thinks that we should just get a box of Froot Loops and a box of the Total Les wanted.” Nick sighed. “It was mortifying, and, when the camera wasn’t trained on me, I made a run for it, and ran into Autumn. I hijacked her into being my cover, and she was disgusted by the whole fight.”
“That’s it?” AJ asked after a few moments. Nick nodded. “Well, that’s less than I wanted. I was hoping for something juicier. There’s still time for you to make it up to her and soften her up.”
“For what?” Nick wondered.
Brian leaned in conspiratorially. “Don’t look now, Nick, but I think AJ wants you to date Autumn. If he can’t date her, he’d rather you did it.”
Nick looked bewildered. “But I don’t want to date her. Hell, I don’t want to date anyone right now. Why the hell would I want to drag someone into the mess my life is at the moment?”
“Good point.” Brian sat back. “You should still apologize to her when you see her at the premiere.”
“Why? It’s not like he insulted her,” Howie pointed out. “He can’t help having the dysfunctional family he has.”
“Thanks, Howie. That makes me feel a lot better.”
“What? It’s true, isn’t it? If you could fix your problems with your family, things would be a little easier in your life, wouldn’t they?”
Nick wondered that they couldn’t see that they were the one family that he’d always wanted. “Can we not talk about me anymore? How about we do some singing, huh?”
“Sure.” Brian patted his shoulder. “Let’s get started.”
As they worked, Nick couldn’t help but notice that things were much different from the way they’d been when Kevin had still been with them. For one thing, Kevin would have wanted to make sure Nick had been emotionally okay after the talk about his family before they started work for the day. He’d always known when Nick had been lying. But it wasn’t the case now, and he was grateful. He didn’t want to talk about himself any more than necessary. His problems were his, and he’d deal with them however he wanted.
As for Autumn, he was disappointed in himself for alienating someone so quickly, but he realized he couldn’t do anything to fix it. His family, as Howie had pointed out, was the way it was. He couldn’t imagine them being a normal family like the other guys had. Besides, he wasn’t interested enough in Autumn to really worry too much over it. Their paths probably wouldn’t even cross often enough for it to matter.
“Carter! Let’s go,” AJ called from the door of the recording booth. “We’re doing the chorus.”
Nick grabbed the music for his vocals and joined the others in the booth. As he lifted the headphones onto his ears, he wondered, for the fiftieth time in a month, what it must be like to be normal.
***
“So, Autumn. When did you realize that acting was your calling?” The reporter flashed another fake smile, making Autumn want to smack her.
In a short amount of time, she’d come to realize that the media was a waste of her time—as people. They were great in spreading the word about celebrities, but, under the curious veneer, they were all the same—jaded and bitter. She hadn’t met one in the weeks of interviews who had seemed genuinely interested in what they were reporting on.
Well, she reminded herself, she was an actress. Despite the discouraging truth of the media, she could play their game, too.
“I think I knew when I was in middle school, I think it was. I saw My Girl and was absolutely jealous of the young actress in it because I’d found out that she didn’t have to attend school.” Autumn gave the reporter a smile of her own. “Ever since that time I’ve worked towards this moment.”
“And what a moment it is,” the reporter agreed, smiling into the camera recording them. “With the new Gabe Peterson film to add to your growing list of credits, there are rumors that you may win yourself an Oscar nomination. The critics are certainly clamoring about your performance in Rein of Silence. What do you have to say to the possibility of a new piece to put on your mantle?”
The Oscars. Autumn couldn’t imagine it. As her heart fluttered rapidly, her voice was equally calm. “I think it’s flattering to hear such praise. I certainly didn’t come into this industry looking to do much more than just entertain people. The Academy Awards are such an honor, and I can only hope that I will one day be worthy of one.”
“But not now?”
Autumn shrugged. “Who knows? I certainly won’t say no to one at any time.”
The reporter laughed lightly before looking down at her pad of questions. “And your family? What do they think of your great accomplishments? So far, of course,” she added.
At the mention of family, her gut clenched, but she smiled anyway. “I lost my parents when I was six, but I’d like to think that they would have been proud of me had they been here. Everything I’ve done with this film, I dedicated to their memory.”
“That’s lovely. This must be bittersweet for you,” the reporter prompted. “What about anyone special? That certain someone?”
Autumn knew the gleam in her eye. “Not really. I mean, I’m sharing my excitement with my best friend, who’s also my agent, but that’s about it.” She didn’t mention her daughter, didn’t dare to. Lily was her secret, the one person she wanted to protect from the cruelties of the industry she’d decided to work in.
“And if you happened to find that special someone…?”
“Then I’d definitely share it with them,” Autumn replied with a smile, wondering how much more of this she’d have to deal with. Every interview ended with the same old questions on her romantic life, and she was tired of it. “But, at the moment, there’s no one, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t like it that way.”
Author's Notes:
hey all! i am soooo sorry that it's taken me a while to get this going again, but my computer crashed over a month ago and then i was on vacation for the past couple weeks. anyway, hopefully, i'm back to regularly updating again! this chapter's a short one, but i hope you enjoy!
“I think I’m going to throw up.”
Liz rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to throw up, Autumn.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“How do you know? I’m the one with the queasy stomach.”
“Autumn, you’re not going to throw up. You have the butterflies, you’re nervous. That’s why you think you’re going to throw up, but you won’t.”
Autumn closed her eyes as the hairdresser tugged and pulled on her dark tresses, arranging them into the perfect style for that night. The day she’d been anticipating, and dreading, was finally here and she couldn’t have been more nervous. The American premiere of Rein of Silence signaled the true start of her career and would either make or break her fame. Critics had been hailing it, and her, for the past month, but she was more anxious about the American public’s reception of it.
The movie was an epic based on the true story of a Jewish woman whose family had been living in Poland at the time of Hitler’s terrifying regime. Autumn had been excited to get the part of the young woman and had put everything she had into making her part a success. Working with a director like Peterson hadn’t left her room to be anything but perfect, and yet she was still worrying over everything that she could have or should have done better.
“The butterflies are the size of birds,” she muttered now to Liz.
Liz rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. “What could possibly go wrong, Autumn? Everyone’s talking about the movie, you, and the hype is huge. People will see the movie because it’s a Peterson film, but, when they leave the theater, they’re going to remember who Autumn Evans is.”
“Did I ever thank you for being the greatest friend a girl could have?” Autumn asked after a moment.
Liz smiled. “It’s always nice to hear it again. Now,” she looked down at the PDA she held. “After this, Paulina’s taking care of your dress and makeup. I picked up the jewelry you’re wearing yesterday, so that’s all set. We’re going to have you dolled up and looking better than Angelina Jolie in no time.”
Autumn pressed a hand to her belly where the butterflies fluttered viciously. “Yeah, but will everyone like me the way they love Angelina?” she wondered to herself.
***
“Aaron! Let’s move!” Nick ran his fingers through his hair as he waited for his brother to arrive. His bodyguard was pulling the car up to the front, and he knew they were already running late. “Aaron, get your ass down here before I beat you!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Aaron muttered as he bolted down the stairs. “I’m here, I’m here. Let’s go.”
In the car, Aaron talked sports with the bodyguard and text messaged someone simultaneously. Nick sat back and watched his younger brother. He loved having a brother, and Aaron was a gift. They got along well for the most part and, even when they were arguing, they were still the best of friends. He’d taken Aaron to get his first tattoo, which Aaron had quickly turned into a habit. He had more tattoos at the moment than Nick had had when he’d been nineteen. As for the drugs…well, Nick didn’t like to dwell on the other things that he’d gotten into.
“We’re cleaning it all up,” he murmured to himself. “Things are going to be different from now on.” Then again, he’d been telling himself that since June, and nothing seemed to have changed that much. “But there’s still time.”
“Hey.” Aaron nudged Nick’s arm. “I hear you met the hot chick who’s in the movie we’re going to see.”
Nick shrugged. “Yeah.”
“And?” Aaron gave him an expectant look. “Is she single or what? Because I heard she’s not that old, and maybe I could, you know…”
Nick’s brows rose. “Are you serious? You want to date someone? I thought you were keeping yourself available for the entire teenage population of LA.”
“Whatever.” Aaron rolled his eyes. “If I can score this one, I won’t even need those younger girls. I’ll have all the older Hollywood ladies lining up for me.”
“Uhh…”
“It’s okay.” Aaron patted his brother’s shoulder. “It’s a grand plan that’s so amazing it takes a while to digest it all. I am a genius.”
The car pulled into a line of cars depositing other actors, actresses, singers, and other celebrities, and Aaron’s attention turned to the flashbulbs and reporters eagerly waiting outside. Nick stifled a long-suffering sigh and wished viciously for one of the cigarettes he’d so graciously quit smoking several months before.
As he followed Aaron out of the car and into the fray of red carpet hubbub, he reminded himself that doing these appearances was going to go a long way towards enhancing his public image and boost his floundering career.
“It’s going to be a long night.”
***
He had to hand it to her. She was good. Really good. He wasn’t big on war movies, especially the kind that caused women to weep, but he was really enjoying this one. Well, not enjoying it as the plot was so depressing, but everyone in the film was fantastic. Autumn’s performance blew him away, as he secretly hadn’t expected her to be that good. He was glad that she’d proven him wrong.
Of course, there had been the few moments here and there during the film when he’d gotten something in his eye, which was making them teary, he told himself. It wasn’t because Autumn was weeping heartwrenchingly over the death of her fiancé or that she held her father’s hand as he passed away in a concentration camp. It was painful to watch, but he certainly hadn’t cried. No way.
Nick had never really paid attention too much in school, and later in tutoring, to the abomination that had been the Holocaust. He knew what had happened, but he’d never spent much time dwelling on it. He’d been too busy to do much more than memorize the requisite facts and regurgitate them on tests. Fortunately, Rein of Silence had shocked and educated him more than the dry materials that he’d learned from in school. It had obviously been Peterson’s objective in making the film, and Nick was suddenly glad he’d come. It didn’t matter that, every time Autumn had appeared on screen, Aaron had mumbled under his breath about her. Nope. And it certainly hadn’t dimmed his mood one bit that he was sitting two rows up from Paris Hilton. Nothing diminished the fact that he’d thoroughly enjoyed himself for two hours—even if the movie hadn’t been as lighthearted as he usually preferred.
He definitely owed Autumn a boatload of compliments.
His chance came at the after-party that one of Autumn’s co-stars had thrown at her home. Nick had watched Autumn smile and talk to all of her well-wishers. Celebrities were notorious for being able to recognize competition when they saw it, and they’d descended on Autumn to discover all they could about her. Luckily, Gabe Peterson’s arrival moved the attention off of her and onto the director, and Nick leapt at the chance.
***
Autumn breathed a sigh of relief as the group she’d been speaking with herded itself over to become Gabe’s audience. She hadn’t had a single moment of peace all night, and she desperately wanted to change out of her clothes and curl up on her couch in pajamas. As excited as she was that the film appeared to be a success and the toughest of critics—fellow actors and actresses—had fully approved of her work, she was tired to the bone. Considering the fact that she hadn’t slept the night before due to nerves, she was currently running on the coffee she'd drank on the ride to the party—along with the several she’d had in the hours before the premiere.
Besides being wired, she hadn’t been able to slip away to call home and check on Lily, and it made her feel like a villain. And, alongside the guilt from neglecting her child, came the screaming pain from the arches of her feet. The three-inch wedges were hellish, and she was determined to ditch them the first opportunity she found. The only thing she was currently thankful about was her dress. The deep purple dress flowed and fluttered around her and allowed her to move comfortably. Now if she could only bury the wedges in a shallow grave…
“Autumn.”
Her tired eyes blinked before her gaze shifted to the man standing in front of her. “Nick. Thanks for being here.” She offered him a smile.
“I’m glad I came,” he admitted, smiling back sheepishly. “The movie was great, and so were you.” He reached into the pocket of the jacket he wore and slipped a white silk rose out of it. “I brought you this.”
Autumn accepted the flower, puzzled. “Thank you. But why?”
“I owe you an apology for the terrible way I behaved when I interrupted your shopping a few weeks ago.” He shrugged. “I didn’t get a real one because I’d have squished it, but this one will last you a while.”
Her fingers stroked the soft petals. “Thanks, Nick. Really.” She couldn’t say why she was really glad he was there, but she was. “And don’t worry about that day in the grocery store. It wasn’t a big deal.”
Nick nodded and tugged on one of dark curls that lay on her shoulders. “You were fantastic, and I’ve been hearing more than a few people saying you might be getting an Oscar nomination. Especially since a couple of the Oscar committee members are here tonight.”
“I…uhh…” Why couldn’t she breathe? Had oxygen disappeared from the atmosphere? No, no. Nick was still breathing. Why couldn’t she breathe?
He patted her arm. “It’s great news, but take a deep breath before you start hyperventilating.”
At his words, she snapped out of it and scowled at him. “Can’t you let me have a moment without ruining it?”
“Sorry.”
She rubbed her fingers over her temple. “It’s okay. It’s just a lot to take in one night, and my head’s been spinning since I stepped onto the carpet earlier. And then all these people that I’ve admired for so long keep complimenting me, and I think I’ve gone to heaven. Ever had that feeling?” She looked up at him.
“Sure. When we were nominated for a Grammy, I don’t think either of the five of us felt the ground under our feet for a month. Wallow in it a little,” he advised her with a grin.
“I intend to,” she replied, returning the smile.
“Hi, Autumn.”
Nick froze, his back to whoever had just greeted Autumn. He’d know that voice anywhere, and he’d hoped to avoid her at all costs.
“Hello, Paris. I’m glad you came tonight.” Autumn smiled up at the heiress towering over her. “You look lovely tonight.”
Nick slowly turned and watched Paris’ eyes narrow when she saw him. “Paris.”
“Nick.”
Sensing the tension that had suddenly exploded around them as conversations hushed and ears sharpened, Autumn laid a hand on Nick’s arm and noticed how stiff he’d become. Trying to detract from the charged atmosphere, she smiled at both of them. “So, I take it you know each other?”
Paris rolled her eyes. “Knowing each other would imply that I acknowledge his existence. Which I don’t.”
“Excuse me?” Nick found his temper straining. “I don’t need you, or anyone, to acknowledge my existence. Besides, I haven’t been on your radar for the last two years. Don’t let me show up now, Paris.”
She sighed lightly and waved a hand in his face. “Please, Nick. Just because you’re angry that I broke things off, doesn’t mean that you get to call me on something years after the fact. Why don’t you just go find yourself a hole to crawl back into?”
“Whoa, hey.” Autumn found the need to step in before things got ugly. The last thing she needed, she knew, was a messy celebrity battle while all the cameras were trained on them. “Listen, Paris, I’m glad you came to the premiere tonight. I hope you enjoyed the movie.”
Forgetting Nick again, the heiress smiled aloofly at Autumn. “You’re a great actress, which is what I came over to talk to you about. I wanted to invite you to a party I’m having this Saturday at Shag. Only the most important, and hot, people will be there. I hope you come.”
“Wow.” Unsure whether she should feel honored or moronic, Autumn could feel the anger emanating from Nick. Not wanting to hurt him by siding with Paris after he’d been pleasant towards her, Autumn made up her mind. “Thanks for the invite, Paris, but I can’t.”
“What?” At Paris’ shocked look, Autumn was sure she’d never been turned down before. “Are you actually saying no to an invite to one of the hottest parties in Hollywood? Because you’d be making a huge mistake. No one turns me down.”
Whoa, kitty, Autumn thought before finding her gracious smile. “Oh, no, Paris, it’s not that I don’t want to be there. I’ve just got somewhere more important to be.” And stifled a laugh at the outraged expression on Paris’ face. “I’m sort of busy promoting my movie, you know how that is. I’ve got to be in London this weekend, so I can’t. Next time, though, I promise I’ll be there.”
Appeased for the moment, Paris smiled again. “You’d better. Anyway, your movie was hot, and I’m sure I’ll see you around.” And, without sparing Nick a glance, she moved off.
When he was sure he could speak again without screaming, Nick turned to Autumn. “Did you just kill her temper? Because she was about to lay into you when you said no to her.”
Autumn lifted a shaking hand to her hair. “I nearly got into an argument with Paris Hilton. My first taste of celebrity drama. I think I need to sit.”
Nick nudged her into the nearest chair then knelt next to it. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone defuse that witch’s anger quite the way you just did. Can I kiss you?”
“Huh?” She stared at him as though he’d grown two heads.
He grinned. “Relax, babe. I was just kidding.” Though if he thought about it, he realized the idea of kissing those perfectly luscious lips of hers did have its appeal. But he shook it off. He didn’t have the time nor the inclination to get romantically involved with anyone at the moment. “Anyway, thanks for sticking up for me. I would’ve been fine. Probably.”
“Right. And I wasn’t sticking up for you, I was watching my own back,” she replied, putting on a fake smile for the other partygoers’ satisfaction. “I didn’t want my first movie premiere’s after-party to turn into a battle of the exes. It would’ve been unnecessary and would’ve killed everything me and the rest of the cast and crew worked on for months.”
Nick nodded. “You’re right. Tonight’s your night, and you definitely shine, Autumn.” He straightened. “Good luck on the press circuit.”
As she watched him go, Autumn unclenched the hand that had fisted during the altercation with Paris. Crushed in it was the silk hibiscus that Nick had given her. He’d been right, she thought. This one would last her longer than a real one would have. It had been a sweet gesture on his behalf, too, seeing as he hadn’t been under any obligation to apologize to her. “I guess we’re even,” she muttered as she moved back into the crowd of curious entertainers and camera crews. “I watch his back, he has mine.” She smiled to herself. “It’ll be a story to tell Lily when she gets older. Imagine that. Me, sticking up to Paris Hilton. What a night!”
***
“You’re joking!” Brian nearly choked on the coffee he’d been about to swallow. “God, what I would give to have been able to see the look on her face!”
Nick grinned. “I must say, it was priceless.”
“So the movie was good?” Leighanne asked, setting a plate full of pancakes on the table.
“It was really good. Been awhile since I’ve watched something that has real substance, you know?” Nick watched Brian slide a pancake onto his plate before passing the rest across the table. “Thanks. Anyway, I enjoyed it. And Autumn Evans is one he—I mean, she’s a great actress,” he caught himself at Leighanne’s arched look.
“I’m glad you had fun,” Brian told him. “Despite Paris’ presence, at least you got to spend time with Autumn, right?”
Leighanne frowned. “What, are you trying to play Cupid, Bri?”
“Actually, he’s filling in for AJ’s role,” Nick explained, pouring the syrup over his pancakes. “AJ’s the one who wants me to try to date Autumn Evans. Personally, I don’t have time.”
Surprised at his answer as it was opposed to the usual direction Nick would have gone in, she smiled. Sometimes, he really did amaze her. “That’s very…mature of you, Nick.”
“Nah.” He waved it off. “I really don’t have the time because of the whole reality show and all. Besides, I think I’m starting to become friends with her, and I like that more.”
Pleased with his answer, Leighanne sat back and watched the two men at her table devour what she’d made for breakfast. Nick wasn’t usually a visitor in their home, but, lately, Brian had gotten it into his head to rekindle his old proximity to the younger man, and she found she didn’t mind. Once upon a time, she would have because of Nick’s wilder side. These days, though, he seemed to have changed. “What is she like?”
“Who? Oh.” Nick leaned back in his chair and toyed with the handle of his coffee mug. He’d been surprised when Leighanne had called and invited him over for breakfast, since she’d never seemed to be too fond of him. For the first time in nearly ten years, he was actually enjoying himself around her, and he felt like he could really become a part of Brian’s life again, too. “Autumn’s unique, I guess the word would be. I mean, she’s green enough in the business to be overwhelmed by everything that’s happening with her success. She barely knows who’s who and what’s happening with other hotshots in this town,” he murmured. “But she’s not jaded. Yet.”
Leighanne exchanged a quiet look with Brian before turning to smile at Nick. “She sounds wonderful. I’d like to meet her sometime.”
“Next time I see her, I’ll let her know. I’ll bet she’ll be really thrilled,” he added. “She hasn’t learned to hide exactly how happy she is.”
“But she will,” Brian said.
Nick nodded. “Sad, but true.”
“Nick!” A nearly four year old Baylee Littrell zipped into the kitchen and leapt into Nick’s lap.
Nick grinned, setting down his fork to tousle the little boy’s wild curls. “Hey, Bayster. What’s up?”
Baylee held up a book with an electronic device built in. “Wanna see?”
“Bay, why don’t we let Nick finish his breakfast first?” Brian suggested, smiling at the sight of his little boy with one of his oldest friends.
Nick shook his head. “It’s cool. I kind of want to see what Baylee’s got. Show me, Bay.”
“It’s the alphabet!” the little boy announced proudly. “And I know the whole thing! Look!” He pressed a button on the book, and an automated voice began to chant the ABC’s. Baylee chimed in on the letter “C” and kept going until he’d finished.
Nick applauded his efforts as Brian and Leighanne watched their son proudly. Before they could ask him to do something else, Baylee wiggled off Nick and dashed towards the playroom, claiming he had something very “imp’tant” to do.
“Isn’t he the smartest kid ever?” Brian wondered, a huge grin plastered across his face.
Nick felt the slightest twinge of envy before he smiled. “Absolutely. He’s great, Brian. You’re lucky to have him.”
“You know, Nick, if you’d just find the right woman,” Brian began but was cut off.
“I’m not looking for a woman, right now, B. I just want to get my life in order and get another solo record done.” Nick shook his head. “Getting involved with someone right now is just not practical.”
Leighanne patted her husband’s arm and lifted a brow. “What he means to say is quit bothering him, hon. When Nick’s ready to settle down, the right person will come along.”
“Yeah.” He smiled gratefully at her. “Listen to your wife, man.”
Brian glanced from the woman he loved to the man he’d once considered his best friend. “Well, I guess I’ve been told.” And reached out to grab the last pancake.
“It’s number one in the UK, France, Australia, China, and, of course, in this country,” Liz declared, reading off the latest press release about Rein of Silence. “It’s number one here for the second weekend in a row, and, last weekend, it had the biggest box office opening of 2006! Autumn, you should be very proud of yourself.”
Autumn lifted a spoonful of baby food and attempted to feed it to Lily. “I am proud, Liz, but I’m trying to feed Lily at the moment. Come on, sweetie,” she coaxed. “One more for mommy?”
Lily shook her head vigorously, nearly knocking the spoon onto the floor with her flailing fists. Autumn grabbed her hands gently and held the spoon to her daughter’s lips. For a moment, it seemed as though Lily would keep her mouth shut, but she opened it enough to take the last bit of peas and carrots. Autumn wiped Lily’s face and, lifting her out of the high chair, set her onto the floor. Immediately, the baby raced off on tiny legs to her pile of toys, and Autumn slumped back in her chair.
“Feeding her is like fighting a war, huh?” Liz said, pushing a bottle of water to her. “Take a breath, pal.”
Autumn gulped down the water but kept an eagle-eye on her child. “I am. And she’s always a handful and a half. I’m just tired because of the constant traveling. I swear, I’m still on Aussie time. Which means that my system thinks it’s” she glanced at the clock and did mental calculations “two in the morning for me.”
“Well, whatever time it is, because of the hit this movie is, your face is becoming very well-known. You’ve been on the cover of Us Weekly, Entertainment Weekly, and, very shortly, you’ll be on People, too,” Liz reminded her.
Remembering all the interviews she’d done, Autumn shut her eyes. “Tell me I don’t have to do anything for the next week. I’m exhausted.”
“The bags under your eyes do need a little fixing,” Liz admitted. “I promise, though, you just have to go to the Radio Music Awards tomorrow night, present, and then you’re free for two weeks. If you want, I can book you a weekend at the spa, while I take care of Lily.”
The offer was tempting, but it would also mean more time away from her daughter, and Autumn was reluctant to do so after having spent nearly two months away while on the promotion train. “Thanks, but I think I’ll relax best when I can turn off the cell, take the phone off the hook, and unplug the television. Spending time with Lily’s my equivalent to a weekend at the spa.”
Liz shrugged. “Well, you know best. Anyway, I’ve gotta get going or I’ll be late for that meeting with Paramount. If they want to keep you for the next five years, I have to convince them to fork over what you’re worth, too.”
“You know best,” Autumn replied with a smile. “Thanks, Liz.”
“Hey, you pay me,” Liz reminded her with a grin. “I’ll call you later?”
“Yeah.” Autumn waited until she heard the door shut behind Liz before she began to clear off the table. With the sounds Lily was making playing with her toys as background music, Autumn washed her dishes and daydreamed about being able to move out of the cramped townhouse she was currently living in and buying a house near a quiet beach. “Once that paycheck comes in,” she murmured to herself, “then Lily and I will be set.”
Wiping down the counters, she twisted the kitchen blinds to shield from the harsh afternoon sunlight. In the den, she found Lily curled up by in an armchair, fast asleep. As it was routine for them, Autumn picked her up and tucked her into her crib before returning to flip through channels on TV. She was mentally and physically exhausted from the strain of traveling, promoting, and socializing for the purpose of making Rein of Silence as big as it was starting to become. The exhaustion, though, was nothing new, Autumn reminded herself.
Who else but her really knew how hard she’d worked in the past? Presented with all the obstacles she’d had since her parents’ death, it was a wonder she’d made it as far as she had. Whenever she thought of first grade, every memory was coated with the fear and uncertainty that had followed in the aftermath of the horrible accident that had destroyed her family. She’d spent the first year living with her maternal aunt before she’d been transferred from her hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina to a tiny town in Kansas to live with her father’s eldest sister.
Aunt Jan had not been the type to tolerate the kinds of dreams Autumn had had of acting. She’d expected nothing but top-notch grades and had chosen the profession of medicine for her niece. Autumn had found herself with no choice but to silently obey.
Until her chance to escape came with her aunt’s death. At the age of sixteen, she realized that no other family member would magically appear to help her make her wishes come true, so she’d struck out on her own. Seven years and hundreds of bumps and bruises later, Autumn had made it to where she’d always wanted to be: an actress.
When a familiar face appeared on her television screen, she snapped herself out of her reverie of the past and turned the volume up.
***
“Dude, how many times have you seen this movie?” AJ asked as he waited for Nick to grab a tub of popcorn at the concession stand.
“This is going to be the fourth time. Why? Do you have a problem with that?” Nick asked.
AJ rolled his eyes. “I think the word ‘obsession’ comes to mind.”
“The movie is good, AJ.”
“But not the actress in it?” AJ’s voice was teasing.
Nick sighed. “I never said she wasn’t good. Stop trying to mess with my head.”
“It’s working, isn’t it?”
Not bothering to pretend he didn’t know what AJ was talking about, Nick paid for his popcorn and moved away from the counter. “No, it’s not working. I’m just hooked on this movie. Besides, it gives me an excuse to get away from the camera crew because none of the other Carters want to see the flick again.”
“Uh-huh.” AJ wasn’t convinced. “So it has nothing to do with spending two hours staring at the glorious Autumn Evans, right?”
“If you think she’s so hot, why don’t you date her?” Nick hissed as they entered the theater.
AJ poked him. “Duh. Because I’ve got a girl, remember?”
“Vaguely. Now shut up,” he whispered back. “It’s starting.”
***
It was like watching a train wreck, she decided. A very blonde train wreck. Except for Angel, since she was the brunette. Of course, she was still very much a blonde on the inside the way she was acting.
And that’s what the whole thing was, she realized. Whether or not some of it was real reaction, the show was practically scripted. If she hadn’t been an actress herself, she was sure she would have believed the whole thing to be reality, but it wasn’t. The Carters were a showbiz family, and they’d learned to act as well as any Oscar winner. Their arguments, their fuzzy family scenes, and everything in between was just a little too perfect to be true.
And Nick. Autumn watched his facial expressions and found that she couldn’t quite see the frustration he’d told her he felt with the whole show. He appeared to be happy and at ease when he was surrounded by his siblings. If what he’d told her was the truth, then somebody needed to nominate him for a Golden Globe, she decided, because the man’s acting skills were superb.
As the end credits rolled, she sat back and contemplated what she knew of Nick Carter. With his background as a Backstreet Boy, he was a veteran in the industry. Everything that she was currently experiencing with the press, cameras, and glitz were everyday occurrences for him. Autumn knew she hadn’t quite figured out how to exude confidence in her success in the limelight, but, from what she’d seen, Nick certainly had. True, there had been the slip during the slight altercation with Paris Hilton, but he’d handled himself better than she might have had she been in his shoes. But then, he knew how to pull the shields down and protect himself from the rabid curiosity of the public eye.
“And I could certainly learn from his example,” she said to herself. Hadn’t she watched all the E! True Hollywood Stories and VH1 Behind the Music specials where stars had succumbed to the cutthroat competition of the entertainment world? One day, you were a star, and the next, no one really cared who you were.
While she’d only just begun her journey through the fascinating world of glitz and glamour, Autumn also knew that the faster her star rose, the more easily it could be crushed. So she’d do well, she thought, to develop that thick skin that kept stars like Nick from slumping permanently.
Besides, it wasn’t to protect only her, she reminded herself as Lily’s cries echoed from the monitor by her side. She had her child to think of. For Lily, she’d do anything.
***
“Wow.” AJ let out a low whistle as they emerged into the late afternoon sunlight. “I don’t think I know of any other word to describe it.”
Nick nodded smugly. “See? I told you it’s the movie that I’ve been coming to see, not Autumn.”
“Dude, it was just amazing. I mean, the story was sad, but damn if I didn’t cry during that scene where her dad dies,” AJ confessed, unabashed. “I wonder how she did the scene without bawling through the whole thing. You’ve gotta have solid nerves to do it.”
“It’s acting. That’s the breaks,” Nick said simply. After all, he was learning how important it was to act despite your feelings in a situation.
AJ took the last handful of popcorn from the tub in Nick’s arms and tossed out the container. “I’m bringing Kaci back,” he said through the kernels. “I could definitely watch it a hundred times without getting tired of it.”
“If you take her, remember to bring the tissues,” Nick said with a sly grin. “You know how these movies make women.”
AJ nodded. “I know how they make me cry, too.” He dusted his hands off. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow?” Nick frowned before he remembered. “Right. The RMAs. Yeah, I’ll see you there.”
AJ grinned. “Great! I hear Kevin’s supposed to be coming, too. Maybe we could all chill together afterwards. I’m sure Kristin’ll be happy to see you.”
Nick smiled as he thought of Kevin’s wife. She was one of the more sincere friends he had, and she’d practically become his older sister. “Yeah. That sounds good.”
Just as good, he thought later as he climbed into his car, as maybe seeing Autumn again. He wondered if she’d be at the awards show. Her name had been tossed around in the media quite a bit over the past couple months, so the probability of her being there was good. He wanted to just hang out and talk to her again because he’d felt more like himself there. He didn’t have to act around her as he did with a good amount of other people he spent time with.
Including, he thought as he glanced down at his ringing phone, the friends he’d be playing poker with that night. Though part of him didn’t want to be at the game, Nick knew his fear of rejection was too great for him not to go. He didn’t want to lose his friends, such as they were. He hated to admit his lack of self-confidence, but it was hard to shake off even after so much success.
With one hand on the steering wheel, he flipped open the phone and answered. Sighing as he listened to the babbling on the other end, he suddenly wished there was another way to be happy.
Author's Notes:
Ta-da! As promised, here is, not one, but TWO Proving Them Wrong chapters! I hope you enjoy and don't forget to leave a review! thanks to everyone who has--they've been AWESOME! Enjoy!
The noise was huge, and, everywhere she looked, cameras flashed, reporters held out microphones, and celebrities posed for pictures, answered questions, and glowed in the latest fashions under the late evening sky.
Remembering to keep her jaw from dragging on the ground, Autumn smiled and did her own turns for the cameras. When a mike was placed in front of her, she responded to the inquiries from reporters. Yes, she was very excited by how well her film was doing. No, she didn’t expect an Oscar, but she’d been told to expect a nomination. Who was she wearing? A lovely outfit that the creative minds at Dolce & Gabbana had come up with, while her bag was Fendi and her shoes were Gucci. No, she wasn’t here to see anyone specific win, but she was excited for everyone who’d been nominated.
After nearly half an hour spent on the red carpet, she let Liz pull her into the theater. “Thank God,” she breathed a sigh of relief. “I thought that would never end.”
“Get used to it,” Liz replied, grinning. “This is your life now. Well, partly anyway. It’s not like you’ll be going to awards shows everyday.”
Autumn glanced around at the interior design of the building, admiring it and the gorgeous men and women that mingled amidst the splendor. “I have a feeling I’m not in Kansas anymore,” she murmured then laughed. “Can you believe it? My first awards show! I finally feel like I’ve made it.”
Liz hugged her. “You deserve it, Evans. You’ve worked your ass off to get here, so you should definitely enjoy it.” She pulled out her PDA. “But, before I forget, you’ll be tagged by a runner at eight-thirteen for your eight twenty-five presenting.”
“I’ll remember,” Autumn assured her then smiled as one of her co-stars approached them. “Now you go relax, too. I’m going to mingle.” With a grin, she exchanged greetings and began to talk excitedly with an actor who’d become a friend.
***
“What am I presenting?” Nick asked Johnny as they made it through the red carpet buzz and into the theater.
Johnny greeted one of the members of a rising alternative rock band he would soon be representing before he answered Nick’s question. “Christian Radio Rock Artist/Band of the Year. Odds are good that Brian’s going to get the award.”
“Really?” Nick was pleased by the thought of Brian’s solo venture gaining national recognition. “That’s awesome! Is he here yet?”
Johnny shrugged. “I’m going to go find him in a minute. You know where you’re going, right?”
Nick rolled his eyes. “I’m not a kid anymore, Johnny. Go find Brian and tell him I wish him luck.”
As Johnny nodded briefly then strode off through the crowd, Nick looked around the anteroom of the auditorium, trying to spot anyone he knew. If Kevin was here, he wanted to find him before they had to find their seats. Which only left him ten minutes, he knew, but he went to look anyway.
When he spotted the familiar dark curls in the midst of a crush of people near the entrance into the auditorium, he kept himself from calling out. She was here, he thought. That was all he needed to know. He’d find her later, and, this time, he’d definitely get her number.
At the tap on his shoulder, he turned then grinned hugely before scooping the pretty blonde into a hug. “I’d heard the two of you might show,” he said, letting go of her and looking over at her husband. They looked good, he thought. Love did good things to people, and they were a prime example of it. “It’s great to see you,” he added, clapping a hand on Kevin’s shoulder.
“You, too,” Kevin answered with a smile. “Where are you seated?”
Nick tried to remember. “Uh, fifth row on the left. You guys?”
“What a coincidence!” Kristin smiled mischievously. “We’re in that row, too.”
“Then I guess I won’t be bored tonight,” Nick responded enthusiastically. “I was thinking I’d fall asleep after a few minutes, but there’s suddenly fresh hope for the evening.”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “Glad to be of service, man. Let’s get inside.”
***
It turned out that whoever had made up the seating plans for the show loved mixing things up. Nick, Kevin, and Kristin ended up sitting in the same row as Ludacris, and they could see Howie two rows over near Rihanna. Neither of them could see AJ or Brian, but they figured running into them wouldn’t be too difficult after the show.
When it was nearly time for Nick to present, he followed the runner backstage and had his face powdered, while an assistant reminded him of where the teleprompter would be and where and when he should exit. Having done this dozens of times, Nick barely heard the man and just crossed his fingers for Brian.
“If you miss a word here or there, just keep going or improvise. Just don’t forget that you’re on a very tight time limit,” the assistant instructed. When Nick turned to tell the man to relax, he discovered that he wasn’t the object of the other man’s attention.
“Nick!” Autumn was surprised, but secretly relieved, that he was there.
For a split second, he couldn’t help but think that it had to be fate that she was there with him. He’d been thinking about getting her number, hadn’t he? He’d been wondering how he’d find her amidst the crowds, or if he’d find her at all. Well, here she was…and she looked fabulous. He took in her appearance from the curls tucked at the base of her neck to the jade-colored dress that fell to her knees to the Grecian-looking sandals she wore. Then he grinned. “Hey, are you presenting this one, too?”
She held up the envelope. “You, too?”
“Yeah. You excited?” He could see her hands shaking.
She laughed nervously. “I’m kind of freaking out here.”
“Don’t be,” he advised her as they were propelled onto the platform they were to wait on until their names were called. “You have no idea how many times people flub their lines and no one really cares. Just enjoy being up there.” He looked down at her. “You do enjoy being up onstage, right?”
Autumn stopped and narrowed her eyes at him. “Well, you are a blonde,” she muttered before lifting her voice. “I adore being on any stage, so thank you for the advice,” she added primly, “but I think I’ll be over the nerves as soon as I get out there.”
“Good,” Nick began, but was cut off by the host’s voice.
“Our next presenters know all about family ties. She’s the big-screen’s breakout darling in a tale of one family’s struggles, while he stars in a reality show all about his struggles with his siblings. Please welcome Autumn Evans and Nick Carter!”
The instant her name was called, Autumn’s hand latched onto Nick’s and, barely glancing down at their joined hands, he led her out onto the stage and up to the podium. Knowing that she wouldn’t speak up first, he flashed a smile at the cameras before beginning to read the words off of the teleprompter. Moments after he began, he could feel Autumn’s death grip on his hand loosen up before she grinned at him and picked up where he’d left off.
“Here are the nominees for this year’s Christian Rock Artist/Band of the Year,” she finished. When she was sure the cameras were turned off, she leaned close to Nick. “Thanks for letting me freak out. I appreciate it.”
He took her hand in his again and squeezed it. “I know what it was like, too,” he whispered. “And don’t mention it. It can’t get out that I’m a good guy sometimes.”
She had to suppress the chuckle and squeezed his hand back before turning back to the cameras. Neither noticed the speculative looks the audience members in the front rows were giving them.
Nick slid open the envelope and held the paper out for Autumn to see. His heart thudded as they both spoke together. “And the winner is…Brian Littrell!”
The smile on his face was huge, Nick knew, but it was nowhere near as gigantic as the one on Brian’s face as he climbed onto the stage then leapt on Nick. They both laughed before Brian let go and hugged Autumn lightly. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” he whispered quickly in her ear. “We’ve gotta talk.”
But, before she could recover from the surprise of his words, he was turning back to the audience and launching into his thank you’s.
“I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you!” AJ pulled Autumn into a hug, grinning enthusiastically. “I mean, I saw your movie, and it was freaking awesome! You are freaking awesome, and I can honestly say I’m probably your biggest fan.”
Autumn hoped her jaw wasn’t stuck to the floor. “Well, I, uh…Thanks?”
She was certainly surprised to have attracted the attention of two very handsome, and very famous, men. It didn’t matter that they weren’t as famous at the moment, but they’d once been fawned over by the whole world. Now, here they were, at an after-party, complimenting her, and she hoped that she deserved it. It was definitely flattering to be told you had a “biggest fan,” and she decided that she liked AJ McLean—whatever anyone else may say.
“Alex, you couldn’t possibly be her biggest fan.” Kevin shook his head and gave Autumn a sympathetic smile. “I think Nick’s already taken the lead on that one.”
Together, all three heads turned to watch Nick as he talked excitedly with Brian and Leighanne, who were walking towards them with huge smiles in tow. Autumn dimly wondered what Kevin meant before Nick looked up and spotted them. His smile dimmed as his gaze met three critiquing faces.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” He patted himself to make certain that nothing was wrong with his appearance.
Brian shook his head. “Nick, if something was wrong with your face, don’t you think I would’ve said something by now?” He looked at Kevin, AJ, and Autumn. “What gives? You’re gonna give him an anxiety attack with those stares.”
Kevin grinned. “It’s nothing. Alex, here, thinks he’s Autumn’s biggest fan, but I said”
“I changed my mind,” AJ interrupted. “I think Nick wins. He’s the one that’s seen her movie four times.”
Autumn was astonished and touched. She hadn’t thought he’d like the film enough to see it that often. And it had only been out a couple weeks. “Is that true?” she asked quietly.
“Yeah.” Nick shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I liked the movie, so I want to see it. You did good, Evans.”
Before she could respond, the group aimed cheesy smiles at a photographer, who’d appeared in front of them. Brian held out his award and looped an arm around Leighanne for the picture. When the photographer had moved on to the next group of stars, Howie appeared and reached out to give Brian a one-armed hug.
“Congratulations, Bri!” Howie grinned. “Guess there was nothing to be worried about, huh?”
Leighanne rested her hand over her husband’s. “Of course, there wasn’t. I keep telling him that, but he doesn’t believe me.” Her lips curved at the look on Brian’s face before she turned to Autumn. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Autumn. I’ve heard a lot about you—most notably the time where you pricked at Paris Hilton’s ego.”
“Uh…” What was she supposed to say to that? Autumn wondered. “It’s nice to meet you, too…”
“Leighanne,” Brian supplied as his face continued to glow. “She’s right. It’s fantastic to meet you.”
“Now could you please date, Nick?” AJ broke in and heard Nick sputter.
“What the hell?” He was definitely irritated and embarrassed on top of the irritation. “Don’t listen to him, Autumn. He’s got this crazy idea about the two of us that has nothing to do with what I want.” He shot AJ a look. “I’m sorry if he’s embarrassed you.”
Autumn had to smile at the fact that he looked and sounded like a cranky child. “Nick, it’s okay. Besides, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to date me. Am I too ugly?” She fluttered her lashes and pouted. “Is that why you don’t want me?”
“You’re about as far from ugly as AJ is from pretty,” Nick muttered and sent Howie, Kevin, and Brian into gales of laughter.
“So that means I’m pretty?” Autumn wondered, trying to suppress the laughter that bubbled in her throat from the outrage on AJ’s face. “Aww, Nick thinks I’m pretty. Did you hear that, everyone?”
As Nick stood feeling more embarrassed than usual, the others erupted into fits of laughter. Autumn watched him and felt slightly guilty for the misery that tinged his eyes, and she’d taken a step towards him when a gorgeous blonde woman joined the group and wrapped her arms around Nick. Taken aback, Autumn watched and waited.
“Are they making fun of my Nicky again?” Kristin asked playfully.
Nick rolled his eyes. “It’s no big deal. It’s not like they don’t do that every time. It’s getting old guys,” he raised his voice so they’d hear him.
Kevin sobered, his smile gone even though his eyes still sparkled with humor. “You’re right. It’s getting old, and I want to get to know Autumn before she’s taken off by someone who thinks they’re more important than us.” He reached out to lace his fingers with Kristin’s, then turned his attention to Autumn. “So, how long have you wanted to be an actress?”
Autumn relaxed as the answers to the familiar questions flowed out of her easily. She’d done this in interviews so often that the words were on the tip of her tongue. Until Kevin surprised her.
“Did you go to college?”
Well, that was certainly different. “Uh…Why do you ask?”
“Honestly? Because I didn’t, and, while I don’t wish that I had, I always find it impressive that there are some talented people in this town who’ve been able to go to school and have successful careers at the same time. Don’t you?” Kevin smiled at her, and she couldn’t help but like the warmth in his deep green eyes—even if his question hit her with guilt.
She nodded and managed a smile. “I’d have to agree with you on that one, but, actually, I didn’t go to college. I, uh, I came to LA when I was sixteen. All I’ve got is a GED.”
“Hey, me too!” Nick took the attention off her, wondering at the flicker in her eyes before she’d answered Kevin’s question.
“I’m the only one who managed to get some sort of education after high school,” Howie told her. “Even then, it was just a junior college.”
AJ rolled his eyes. “He’s still got more money than the rest of us, though. He claims it’s because he went to college. Right.”
“Education’s important,” Leighanne reminded him, patting his cheek. “Just because you didn’t want it…”
“Doesn’t mean you should crack on people who did,” Leigh finished as she joined them, sliding an arm through Howie’s. She held out a hand to Autumn. “Hi, I’m Leigh. You must be the very talented Autumn Evans.”
Autumn blushed. “Thanks. It’s good to meet you.”
“Baylee’s starting school in January!” Brian announced proudly. “He’s already got the alphabet down, and the next logical step is preschool. I can’t wait.”
“He acts like he’s going to school with our Bay,” Leighanne chuckled, patting his arm affectionately.
Kevin grinned. “Well, Brian’s got more energy than a lot of four year olds. He may as well be going with Baylee.”
When the group laughed at Brian’s scandalized expression, Autumn couldn’t help but smile at the way they were so close. They were all very different, with different aspirations and goals, but they were committed to each other. She couldn’t help being slightly jealous of that type of bond, but she shook it off, reminding herself that she had Liz and Lily. It was just as good.
“Well, it was really nice meeting all of you,” she spoke up. “But, I’ve got to find my manager before she starts to worry about where I am. Hopefully, I’ll see you all again!”
“You, too,” Kevin murmured, watching her walk away before sliding his gaze over at Nick, who continued to follow Autumn’s retreat with his eyes. When everyone else began talking again, Nick slipped away quietly, and Kevin could only hope things would go well.
“He’ll be fine,” Kristin murmured, squeezing his fingers in hers.
Kevin watched Nick disappear into the crowd then smiled down into his wife’s smiling face. “I hope so. I sure hope so.”
Author's Notes:
I'm getting good at this whole updating on Fridays deal. So, here's the next chapter in Proving Them Wrong, and I hope you all enjoy! Also, check out my other story Then Again. It's an AJ and Brian suspense fic, so for those of you who are Nick fans, I still think you'd enjoy it. Check out and thanks for all the reviews for this story!
Nick tried to follow her as well as he could, but she wove in and around the crowds of people chatting and the television crews that swiveled their cameras every which way. He was half-hoping that someone would recognize her for she was no longer unknown, and that he’d have a chance to catch up with her. But, no such luck.
When he burst past an unusually large group of people, his spirits plummeted. Autumn was nowhere to be found. Everywhere he looked there were plenty of richly-dressed, heavily jeweled actors, singers, and entertainers. No Autumn.
After a minute or two, he finally noticed the doors he stood by and the exit sign posted on them. Maybe, if he was really lucky, he thought, she would have gone out that way, and he’d be able to find her. He wanted to know what had put that haunted look in her eyes when she’d spoken of her lack of higher education. He needed to know more about her because, when he thought about it, he only knew what the rest of the world knew about Autumn Evans—next to nothing.
She was a mystery, he mused, pushing through the doors and ignoring whoever had called his name the instant before the door shut behind him. The hallway he found himself in was empty and, picking a direction, he started to explore his way through the building. She couldn’t have gone too far, he thought. At least, he hoped she wasn’t in a hurry. Though the possibility of that was slim from the look on her face when she’d turned away. Something was bothering her, and, being the curious guy he was (or was it nosy jackass?), he was determined to find out.
And he hit gold when he pushed out a set of double doors that put him into a dimly-lit alleyway and found Autumn perched in her designer clothing on a grungy bench. Her arms were curled around her waist as she gazed off into the distance.
“Autumn?”
Her head snapped up and turned to see him start towards her. Leaping up, she began to hurry down the alley. “Go away, Nick. I’m not in the mood.”
“For what? I didn’t say anything but your name,” he called back as he hurried to keep up with her. “Why are you running?” He tripped over an empty bottle and cursed under his breath. “Autumn, stop!”
She didn’t. She kept running on wobbling stilettos as though he were a murderer coming to kill her. “I told you to leave me alone!” Her voice wavered, but she headed into the park across the street from them, hoping to lose him on the winding paths and in the dark.
“Autumn.” Nick stopped. He couldn’t push her, no matter how much he wanted to shake her and find out what was wrong with her. Instead, he paused at the entrance to the darkened park and watched her keep moving. Until, suddenly, she was on the ground. “Autumn!” Seriously worried, he ran and mentally yelled at himself for smoking too much in the past as his breath huffed.
When he reached her side and knelt next to her, she looked up at him with tears shining in her eyes. Holding up the once-lovely shoe she wore with the now-broken heel, she sighed. “I’m sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have run.”
Nick reached out and cupped her cheek in his hand. “Why did you? Was it something I said?” But he shook his head before she could answer. “I don’t wanna know. Forget I asked. Are you okay?” He gestured to her bare foot.
“Hmm? Oh.” Brushing his hand aside as she found she liked the feel of it on her skin and refused to like it, Autumn glanced from her shoe to her foot and sighed again. “Well, there goes an awesome pair of shoes. I’m okay, Nick,” she added, seeing his expression.
“Okay.” He stood. “Let’s get you to a bench, baby. Then you can tell Uncle Nick why you were running.” He held out a hand and, after a brief hesitation, she took it and let him help her over to a nearby bench.
“I can’t honestly think of you as ‘Uncle Nick’, you know,” she muttered as she sat and stripped the other shoe off. “You just don’t inspire uncle-like feelings in me.”
“Oh, yeah?” He couldn’t stop the foolish grin from creasing his face. “What kind of feelings do I inspire in you?”
She rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly with a shoe. “Exasperation and frustration.” But she had to soften as the man was here even after witnessing her random emotional breakdown. “I like you, Nick Carter—for some reason.”
He nudged her shoulder with his. “I like you, too, Autumn Evans—for some reason.”
“I guess you want to know what happened?” she asked after several moments of silence.
Nick shrugged. “I can’t push you, Evans. If you want to tell me, I’m all ears. If not, that’s cool, too. I know what it’s like to have people pressuring you into telling them what’s bothering you when all you want is to be left alone.”
“I guess you would,” she murmured and turned to look into his face. Though it was hard to see much in the dark, she could see the sincerity in his eyes and sighed. “It has to do with that question Kevin asked me.”
Nick’s brows furrowed. “The one about college? So, you didn’t go. Big deal. Most of us haven’t.”
“No, Nick. You don’t understand,” she whispered, staring hard at the flash of lights from a nearby club.
“I would, if you’d explain it.”
“I’m not supposed to be here,” she said suddenly, making him frown.
“Uhh…Why not? You can sit here if you want.”
Autumn shook her head. “I mean, I wasn’t supposed to be an actress. I should be in medical school right now, getting my degree to practice medicine.” She bit her lip. “At least, that’s what I was supposed to be doing.”
“Why? Did you want to be a doctor?” Nick was slightly confused, but he was beginning to see why Kevin’s question may have bothered her. If she was “supposed” to be doing something else, something that required that she go to school, and she wasn’t doing it…Well, he’d let her finish before he asked any more questions.
She sighed. “My parents died when I was six, so my aunt, my mother’s sister, took care of me for a while. After a year, though, she fell in love with someone and didn’t want a seven year old hanging around, so she sent me to stay with my father’s sister in Kansas.” Running a hand through her hair, she took a deep breath and let it out. “Aunt Jan was set on me being a doctor. She loved me, but she was strict with what I was and wasn’t allowed to do. Wanting to be an actress was too ‘frivolous’ and certainly not allowed. So, I studied, I did well, and, just after I found out that I’d done extremely well on the SATs, Aunt Jan was in a car accident.”
Because she seemed to need it, he looped an arm around her shoulders and brought her closer to him. “I’m sorry, Autumn. But being an actress was your dream, being a doctor was hers. You can’t blame yourself for following your dreams.”
“I know.” He felt good, so she let her head rest against his shoulder. “I usually don’t feel guilty, but there are some times when it hits me. I was her sole inheritor because she’d never married, never had children. But, instead of taking care of the things she’d worked hard to earn, I sold her house and car and headed out here. There was nothing holding me back, so why couldn’t I do what I’d wanted? Why waste time studying stupid things that I’d never need anyway?”
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen.”
Nick glanced down at her, surprised. She’d handled such adult issues when she should have been partying with her friends, dating, going to high school football games, and having fun being a teenager. He tried to remember what he’d been doing at sixteen. Touring Europe, being mobbed by teenage girls who were screaming in languages he couldn’t understand, and being raised by four men who would forever be a part of him. None of that compared to her experience at sixteen.
“That’s amazing,” he said finally. “At sixteen, I was nothing more than a kid—I still am, but that’s beside the point,” he added with a small smile. “You shouldn’t have had to do all of that alone.”
Autumn shook her head as she sat up. “I wanted to, needed to do all of it. And I don’t regret it, not for a minute. There are times, though, like tonight, where the guilt hits me when I think about how, if I had just gone down a different road, I would’ve been where she wanted me to be. I wonder if she would’ve been proud of me in spite of it all,” she murmured.
“Well, of course she would,” Nick assured her. “If she loved you, and you’re happy and successful doing what you love, then I don’t see why she would have had a problem with you. Relax, Autumn. We’re all exactly where we’re supposed to be and doing what we’re supposed to be doing.”
She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the clipping noise of a pair of heels, and both of them turned to look in the direction of the sound.
Nick barely muttered, “Crap,” under his breath before the nagging began.
“How dare you!” Bobbie Jean Carter pointed a threatening finger in her brother’s direction. “You heard me call for you, and you just kept going! I had to run after you, and you don’t so much as turn to see what’s going on! Do you know how that looks to people? Why are you trying to destroy what we’re working so hard to achieve? Don’t you want people to say that Nick Carter did something right…for once?”
“That’s not fair,” Autumn interrupted her and realized her mistake when BJ spun on her.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” BJ asked angrily, her voice rising. “This is private business, and I don’t care if you’re Nick’s whore or not, but you should at least have the sense to not get in the middle of something that has nothing to do with you. Got it?”
Nick shot off the bench and grabbed his sister’s arm. “Apologize.” His voice was low and deadly, but BJ didn’t care.
“Why? She doesn’t care if I yell at her as long as she’s got your money. God, Nick. You’re such a drama queen.” BJ rolled her eyes and tried to shrug his hand off. “Let go, Nicky.”
“Not until you apologize to Autumn Evans,” Nick repeated and watched realization swim into his sister’s eyes. “That’s right. She’s that Autumn Evans, and you’re going to apologize for insinuating that she’s someone and something that she’s not.” When BJ hesitated, Nick narrowed his eyes. “Do it, Bobbie Jean.”
BJ rolled her eyes again before turning to Autumn. “Look, I’m sorry I called you a whore. You’re not, you’re a great actress and all that blah blah blah. I have this temper, and I didn’t mean to have you caught in the crossfire. Nick, here, pisses me off more often than not.” She looked over at him again. “Is that okay?”
“Better than nothing,” he muttered. “Autumn, I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind that, every time we meet, you get insulted or annoyed.”
She waved it off as she stood. “It’s okay. I’d better get going.” Looking down at her bare feet, she grinned. “I guess I’m going in without shoes. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be the next big fashion trend. See you around, Carters.” And, with a little wave, she was gone.
“Well, jeez, Nick.” BJ sighed dramatically. “Aren’t you gonna get her number or anything?”
Nick’s brows furrowed. “Why?” And then he remembered wanting Autumn’s contact information before the show. But, as she disappeared from view, he shook his head. “Nah. It’s not like I want her number so I can take her out or whatever. She’s cool, and you totally insulted her. What the hell’s got you all crazy this time?”
“You’re not going to believe the call I got from Aaron fifteen minutes ago,” BJ began. “It involves a blonde, some pot, and a camera.”
Nick smacked a hand over his eyes. “Don’t stop now, BJ. You might as well finish it off.” Could this night get any wackier? he thought as he listened to BJ recount Aaron’s latest misdemeanors.
Author's Notes:
Ooh! I tricked you! I beat my own deadline and decided to put this chapter up before Friday because I'm gonna be super busy tomorrow. So, here's the next bit of Proving Them Wrong. Enjoy and don't forget to review! The more you review, the better the story! Especially if you leave suggestions as to what you'd like to see in the next chapter or even in the story's future!
P.S. As a note, no, i didn't know Aaron was going to be engaged before the last chapter, but I decided to use that to my advantage. Enjoy!
“This is beyond irresponsible, Aaron! How could you do this to us?” Nick was surprised his head hadn’t exploded yet. Just when he’d thought Aaron was starting to grow up a little, he did something unbelievable and set everything back. As he paced the kitchen, Nick rubbed his temples where a headache was beginning to thrum. “The nerve, Aaron, the fucking nerve you have to pull this shit amazes me.”
“Why?” Aaron smirked, slouching in his seat at the table. “Because your baby bro is doing something before you? Big, bad Nick Carter’s been there and done almost everything first…except marriage. Jealous, Nick? Wish you’d gotten to it before I did?”
Nick shot a glare over his shoulder and slammed his fist on a countertop. “I’m not jealous, baby bro. I’m just wondering what this chick is holding over your head that made you ask her to marry you?”
“It’s love, Nick.” Aaron wiggled his brows. “I’m in love, and I feel great! Why can’t I get married to the woman I love?”
“Because she’s a whore?” Angel suggested as she stalked into the room and aimed a hateful look at her twin. “I can’t believe what you’ve done, Aaron.”
Aaron rolled his eyes. “Am I gonna get lectured by the entire family? I mean, BJ got to me on the phone when I called her the other night, but I was saved by the off button on my cell. Leslie dragged me out of bed this morning, and, now, you two. Lay off, will you? I’m happy, why the hell can’t you let me be?”
“Because we’re the Carters, and if it’s not one thing, it’s two thousand others that are plaguing us,” BJ replied as she walked in and smacked a magazine to Nick’s chest. “Apparently, Aaron’s not the only Carter male who got some action that night.”
Nick’s brows furrowed as Angel, Aaron, and BJ watched him. “I don’t get it. I didn’t do anything the other night.”
“That’s not what the tabloids say. I just brought you the nicest one of the bunch.” BJ rolled her eyes and, pulling out a cookbook, began flipping through it. “Pathetic. That’s what the two of you are.”
Nick didn’t hear her, though, as he stared at the cover of the tabloid. He couldn’t believe it, but he had no choice. Heads were going to roll and soon.
***
“Um…wow.” She stared at the computer screen and found herself at a loss for words.
“Autumn?” Leah, her publicist, sounded worried.
Autumn shook herself. “I’m here. I just don’t know what to say.”
“I’ve been fielding calls all morning about this. Plus, I’ve tried getting in touch with Nick’s people. So far, they haven’t gotten back to me,” Leah explained. “I think the Carter camp is currently a little crazy over Aaron’s engagement at the moment.”
Autumn took deep breaths before speaking again. “What have you told the callers?”
“No comment. At least, not until I know what’s going on,” Leah added.
“Right.” What was going on? Autumn’s brain asked, confused. “Uh, Leah? Is there any way that I could see the rest of the pictures or the articles?”
Leah made a hmm-ing noise. “Well, unless you want to subscribe to Us Weekly, National Enquirer, or People online, you’ll have to actually go and get those tabloids from a store.”
“Why do you make that sound like a bad thing?” Actually, she’d made it sound downright dangerous, and Autumn was beginning to be worried instead of surprisingly amused.
Leah chuckled. “Honey, do you know how impossible it will be for you to buy a magazine with your face on the cover? The cashier finds out who you are, he’ll run screaming for everyone else to come see Autumn Evans. Before you know it, you’re surrounded by bloodthirsty paparazzi who won’t let go until they’ve got every last, juicy piece of you.”
Autumn gulped. “Well, when you put it that way…”
“Why don’t you just relax, and don’t worry about getting any comments out until tomorrow. If they’ve died down by then, which I doubt, we’ll sit down and come up with something.” Leah paused. “There’s nothing between you and Nick Carter, is there?”
“No, nothing romantic. Why?”
There was a moment’s silence. “I wouldn’t want you getting hurt, Autumn. He’s not exactly known for being the most faithful man nor was he ever boyfriend of the month. Be careful with the people in those celebrity circles.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Leah.” Autumn stared at the picture on the computer screen for another moment then turned it off. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”
“Sure thing. Have a good day, and don’t leave the house.”
Autumn grinned. “No problem. Thanks, Mom.” And hung up before Leah could reply.
It had been two days since the Radio Music Awards, and, all of a sudden, the tabloids were flooded with pictures of her and Nick. She didn’t even know when they’d taken the photos that were now gracing the shelves of grocery stores, but, while they weren’t the raciest of pictures, they were still provocative enough to get the paparazzi apparently sniffing her down like bloodhounds. Instead of being horrified, though, she was curious. What had they written about her and Nick? Were they implying that they were a couple? Because that was definitely laughable. She barely knew Nick, and she could count the number of times that they’d spoken on one hand. He wasn’t as bad as the media made him out to be, and she certainly felt sorry for him because of the way his siblings had acted each time she’d met them. Other than that, he now knew more about her than any of the interviewers she’d ever sat down with knew.
Which could be dangerous.
As soon as the thought entered her mind, Autumn shook it off. Nick wouldn’t use knowledge like that against her. Besides, what would it do to her image? Nothing because she’d done nothing wrong. Nick, along with other celebrities, knew what it was like to want to protect your life, and she couldn’t imagine anyone leaking out any “inside” information about a fellow artist to the media. So why was she worrying? Autumn asked herself.
She had a glorious ten days off from any work, interviews, appearances, and auditions. Ten days to spend doing whatever she felt like doing. Including, she thought as she watched Lily toddle into the room, spending quality mother-daughter time with her baby.
“Mama?” Lily held out her arms for her, and Autumn scooped the baby into her arms.
“Your mama’s in a bit of trouble, Lilykins. And I’m not quite sure what to do about it,” she added as she nuzzled her daughter’s soft cheek.
Lily tapped her mother’s shoulder with the plush toy she clutched in her tiny fist and giggled. “Mama!”
Autumn had to smile. Her kid was too cute. “Yes, baby?”
“Mmm!” Lily giggled and wrapped her arms around Autumn’s neck. “Mmm!”
Autumn pressed a kiss to Lily’s forehead before she carried her into the kitchen. “You’re absolutely right, Lily. It is certainly time for lunch. What’re we going to have today?”
But Lily was saved from answering when there was a knock on the front door. Autumn frowned, immediately cautious because of Leah’s warnings. What if the paparazzi had figured out where she lived? She’d have to move—fast. And she couldn’t just uproot Lily from where she was accustomed to living and move into a gated community just so she could protect her family. But, what choice did she have other than moving?
None. Absolutely none.
So, her paranoia getting the best of her, Autumn crept to the door and slowly lifted one corner of the curtain she’d hung over the window.
To say that she was surprised, and relieved, at who stood on her porch was an understatement. She was ecstatic.
Author's Notes:
Oh. My. God. No way. Another chapter! And it's not even Friday! That's right. I thought I'd spring a surprise chapter on everyone! Thanks for enjoying, and I think the chapter's content may be a surprise for everyone, too! Enjoy!
“What’s going on?”
Nick rubbed his still-throbbing temples and vaguely wondered why the pain medicine he’d taken an hour ago wasn’t working yet. Maybe he was becoming immune to its effects. Maybe he needed to stop drinking so much and taking the meds to ease his hangovers. Or maybe he was developing a brain tumor. Anything was possible, right? Hadn’t the past couple days proven that?
He’d been fine, doing well, and enjoying his life. They weren’t filming the show at the moment, but the first five episodes had aired already and were raking in good reviews. America loved its reality television, and the Carters were more than happy to feed the addiction.
The RMAs had been fun to attend, present, and go to the after-party. He’d loved having all the guys together again and wasn’t afraid to admit it. Nothing had been the same since Kevin had bowed out, and it would never be the same. Nevertheless, it had felt like old times, and he’d been happy to introduce the guys to Autumn.
Autumn. Good Lord, the woman was causing him headaches, and all she’d done was be herself. He had been the one to hunt her down and drag her story out. He had been the one to put his arms around her. He hadn’t paid attention to the fact that the paparazzi were bound to be on the prowl around the party scene because Autumn wasn’t used to thinking that way, yet.
He’d screwed up. And, now, Autumn was being smeared in the press as the latest in his string of whores.
Not to mention his brother was now engaged to a woman he’d once, however briefly, been linked to in the past. What a nightmare…
“Nick. Buddy, you okay?”
Nick looked up into concerned blue eyes and shook his head. “I’m such a screw up, Brian. Why the hell are you here?”
Brian rolled his eyes and settled onto the couch next to him. “It’s because I’ve been watching out for you for fifteen years, that the need to have your back is just ingrained in me. Besides, Leigh was getting on my nerves.”
“What?! No way! The golden couple is having issues?”
Brian hit him with a pillow. “Shut up. She’s been gloating over those tabloids, claiming she’d seen it coming. That Autumn’s the woman who’s going to clean you up and settle you down. I told her that Autumn’s too busy getting herself established to clean anybody up.”
“And she rolled right over you?”
“You bet your ass.” Brian grinned. “It’s cool. When I get back, we’ll probably make up and then have great make up-”
The rest of his words were muffled as Nick held a pillow over his face. “I don’t need to hear about you getting down and dirty with your wife, Brian. Hell, no.”
Brian pushed the pillow off and glared. “Why? Because you and Autumn aren’t really together?”
Nick huffed out a frustrated breath and stood to pace. “We’re not dating, we don’t have the dating vibes between us, we’re not attracted to each other. At least, I hope she’s not attracted to me,” he added as an afterthought.
“Why not? What’s wrong with you?”
“Do you really have to ask?” Nick wondered. “I mean, look at me. Why on earth would a woman on her way up the ladder of success even want to be linked to me, the guy who’s trying his best to stay in the public eye by airing his family’s dirty laundry on national television? Why on earth doesn’t the media understand that?”
Brian shrugged. “You know how they are. Who would know that better than us, man? They see something that could be skewed enough so it’s juicy, and they’re off and running. I don’t even want to try and understand what they think half the time. Autumn’s a rising star, and she’s all over the magazines lately. She’s young, she’s hot, and no one really knows too much about her life. She’s a freaking mystery, and she’s being seen with you—not once, but twice.”
“More than that,” Nick mumbled.
“What?”
Nick stuck the tabloid in Brian’s hand. “If you flip through, you’ll see all the times I’ve run into Autumn—except that time at the supermarket.”
Brian riffled through the pages to the article and narrowed his eyes as he skimmed through the article. After several moments of silence, he sighed and placed the paper back on the coffee table.
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Nick muttered, when Brian didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry that being linked with you makes a woman a whore, pal. You’re not like that,” Brian assured him, resting a hand comfortingly on Nick’s shoulder. “Besides, those pictures from that movie premiere weren’t really scandalous. Ooh, you two were talking! Big deal.”
Nick rolled his eyes. “Tell that to the tabs.”
“Let’s do something crazy,” Brian said after a few moments of silence.
Nick’s brows rose. “What exactly do you mean by ‘crazy’?”
“Let’s do something so wild that it takes the world’s mind off of you and Autumn, and Aaron and what’s her name? Your possibly future sister-in-law?”
“Kari,” Nick mumbled.
“Right. Her.” Brian waved the thought of the young woman off as he leapt off the couch. “Let’s party like it’s 1999, Nicky!” He did a boogie around the room before looking back expectantly at Nick. “Well? You coming or not?”
Nick found a smile teasing his lips and was unable to resist. “Do that shaking thing again, and I’ll go.”
“What? This?” Brian wriggled around like a worm in the air.
Watching him, Nick started to laugh. And found he couldn’t stop.
***
“Jack!” Autumn leapt into the man’s arms. “You’re home!” She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a smacking kiss. “I’m so glad!”
Jack McCann squeezed her back and grinned, the crinkles at the corners of his dark gray eyes creasing in humor. “Well, if that wasn’t a homecoming that every man dreams of, I don’t know what would be.” He brushed his lips over her cheek. “I’m glad to be home.”
Autumn let him into the house and watched as Lily squealed and toddled as fast as she could to him. Jack scooped her up with practiced ease and chuckled.
“My little Lily’s all grown up and knows how to walk now!” He ran kisses over the baby’s face, making her giggle. “Look how big she’s gotten!”
Autumn grinned. “Well, that’s what happens when you disappear for three months.”
“True.” But he continued to play with Lily, leaving Autumn to see what changes had been wrought upon him during his time under the baking hot African sun. His curly brown hair was sun-kissed, and he’d certainly tanned. But, aside from that, he was just the way he’d been when he’d left her a few months before.
Jack turned then and found Autumn studying him, a small smile playing over her lips. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No reason.” But the smile remained. “I’m glad you’re home.”
“Yeah, me, too.” He reached over to slide his arm around her waist and scoop her against his side. “Now, I’ve got both my girls just where I want them. And, apparently, Lily’s not the only one going through some big changes,” he added with a smile.
“Who, me?” Autumn feigned innocence. “I haven’t done anything in the last couple months.”
“Of course, not,” Jack agreed easily. “Being the leading actress in the fall’s most touted film isn’t a big deal at all. Hooking up with Nick Carter, though, is certainly big news.”
Her jaw dropped. “Have you been reading the tabloids again?”
“It was kind of hard to miss it,” Jack replied. “I’m not blind, darling.”
“I know that.” Wanting to change the subject, though, she grinned up at him as Lily tugged on his shaggy curls. “I didn’t think we’d see you for another six months. What brings you home so soon, and did you bring me something?”
He laughed, setting Lily down so she could run off. “Always looking for the take, Autumn?”
“You know it.”
Jack slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close. “What did you want me to bring you?” he asked, as Autumn wound her arms around his neck and played with his curls. “The bones of a twenty-thousand year old woman?”
“That’s so romantic,” she murmured, her eyes sparkling with humor. “If I could, I would’ve fallen in love with you on the spot if you’d brought me one of those.”
He brushed his lips over hers, tightening his hold on her. “I’ll have to remember that for the next time,” he whispered against her mouth.
Autumn let her eyes drift shut as his lips trailed over her cheeks and rubbed over the pulse fluttering in her neck while his hands trailed under her shirt. She’d truly missed him, and, as she shifted closer to fit her body against his, it was hard to overlook the fact that he’d obviously missed her, too.
When his lips shifted back to cover hers, she poured three months’ worth of passion into the kiss before ending it and resting her head against his shoulder. “Tell me you’re going to stay for a while,” she murmured.
His sigh spoke volumes, and Autumn wondered how many times her heart would break into tiny pieces before there was nothing left. “Autumn,” he began, but she cut him off.
“No, no. Forget I asked.” She pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I’d rather enjoy the fact that you’re home for however long than worry about when you’ll leave again.” When the sound of Lily’s laughter was heard over the banging of pots in the kitchen, Autumn managed a small smile. “Lily’s hungry. I’m going to go fix us something. Why don’t you get cleaned up and join us?”
Even when she’d moved out of his reach, Jack could see the sadness in her eyes. “Autumn.” He waited until she stopped at the doorway and looked back. “I love you.”
She smiled sadly and walked out.
Author's Notes:
hey everyone! here's the next chapter! for those of you who missed the update earlier this week, make sure you read chapter 12 before you read this one...otherwise, you'll be very, very confused! Happy Friday!
“This is what you call doing something ‘crazy’?” Nick wondered as he stood surrounded by dozens of blinking lights, beeping machines, and children running rampant around them.
Brian grinned hugely. “Isn’t this awesome?”
Nick considered for a moment what he would be doing if he weren’t here. “I guess you’re right.”
“Bay’s not old enough to truly appreciate an arcade like this,” Brian explained as they exchanged bills for tokens at the machine. “He’d love the lights and music, and maybe he’d play the basketball for tots, but then he’d be lost.”
“So, because you missed the arcade, you felt the need to come on your own? And drag me along, too?”
Brian shrugged and dropped two tokens into the skee ball game. “Where’s your sense of fun, Nick? Instead of asking me questions, I would have expected you to be long gone in your video game high. Is something bugging you?”
“Other than the fact that all my problems are still gonna be there after we’re done playing video games? Nah, nothing at all,” Nick muttered.
“Nick. You’ve gotten through worse,” Brian reminded him. “At least the law isn’t involved this time.”
Nick pondered that for a bit before brightening. “That’s true! Fuck it. I don’t care if Aaron marries Kari or people think I’m turning Autumn Evans into a whore. Let’s play!”
An hour and a half later, they’d gone through the skee ball games, shot hoops, air hockey, and were now working their way through the video game area. For the most part, they were ignoring the looks they were getting from the teenagers, who thought it odd that two grown men were so completely bonkers over arcade games. At least, they hadn’t been tagged as Backstreet Boys yet, and, for that, they were both grateful.
“Ha!” Brian pumped a fist in the air. “I win! I win!” He stuck his tongue out at Nick. “I told you, you can’t beat the Supreme King of the Universe of Video Games, and you still dared to best me. Obviously, I’m the best. You’d better bow down to me, you inferior gamer.”
Nick took the ribbing good-naturedly. “Whatever. I think it was a fluke. How about the best two out of three?”
“You’re on!” Brian agreed and snatched up the controller again.
They were halfway through the next round as Brian continued to win when a voice interrupted them. “Nick? B-Brian?”
“One second,” Nick said over his shoulder as he concentrated on annihilating Brian’s spaceships.
They played for another fifteen seconds before Brian cackled again. “I won two out of three, Nick-ay! Take that, sucker!”
“You obviously haven’t played for a while,” Nick commented as Brian wiggled his butt in a victory dance. “Just wait until Baylee gets older. He’ll be wiping the floor with your sorry ass.”
“Probably,” Brian agreed. “Of course, he hasn’t quite gotten a good grasp on how to use the PS2 I got him a while ago. I end up playing it late at night when Leigh’s sleeping and doesn’t know what I’m up to. She thinks video games are going to lead Baylee down-” He stopped as he turned and found a woman watching the two of them curiously. “Hello.”
A tentative smile spreading on her face, she stepped forward and held out a hand. “I can’t believe the two of you are here, the arcade of all places. It’s good to finally meet you!”
Nick smiled, fan encounters always making him feel like a king. “Nice to meet you, too, uhh…”
“Reid,” she told him with another smile that made her dark blue eyes glow. “I’m just so shocked that I’d meet you guys at all. I’ll apologize now if I start to babble later on.”
Brian grinned easily. “Don’t worry. I’ve ended up babbling, too, when I’ve met people more famous than us. Which, haha, at this time, means most celebrities.” He shook her hand. “So, Reid, tell us about yourself.”
“I’ve been a fan of yours since I was fourteen,” she replied. “That was nearly eleven years ago, and I’m so excited about your new album! How’s it going so far?”
Nick stifled a grimace at the thought of the album that currently was going in four different directions and managed to smile at her excitement. “The album’s going well,” he lied. “We’re really excited about it, and I’m sure I speak for the four of us when I say we’re thrilled that you’re looking forward to it.”
“Are you kidding? All the Backstreet fans are waiting impatiently for it!” Reid exclaimed. “Oh! I completely forgot! Congratulations on having a sister-in-law soon!”
Brian turned his laugh into a cough as Nick’s face darkened. “Yeah, thanks,” he muttered.
Reid appeared to be perceptive because she started laughing. “You hate the idea, right? I’m guessing Aaron didn’t tell any of you about what he was going to do?”
“No,” Nick answered. “But, if you don’t mind, I’d rather not think about it.” He studied her for a moment, taking in the reddish-blonde hair and petite figure in jeans and a simple top. “So, what brings you to an arcade?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Her eyes hinted at mischief. “I thought you’d be out with Autumn Evans. Aren’t you dating her?”
This time, Brian couldn’t disguise the laughter and let it ring. “Nick, she cuts to the chase, doesn’t she?” He grinned at Reid. “Actually, that’s a sore subject for him because he’s not dating her.”
“But he wants to?” she wondered, watching Nick carefully.
Nick sighed. “Hey, I never said anything like that. I’ve met her three times, and it’s not a big deal.”
“Didn’t you meet Paris a couple times, too, before you started wanting to date her?” Reid asked innocently and watched Nick’s face turn red.
“It’s not the same thing. Autumn’s a really nice woman,” Nick explained. “Not like Paris,” he added.
Brian could see the fan wheels turning in Reid’s head and decided it was time to go before Nick blew a gasket at all the provocative questions. “Well, Reid, it was good to meet you. Glad you’re keeping the Backstreet pride alive. But, as we like to say, we gotta go!”
He started to nudge Nick towards the door, but Reid stopped them. “Wait! Can I get a picture with the two of you? No one’s going to believe me if I say I met you guys at an arcade.” She held up her camera phone and gave them a big, pleading smile.
Nick forced a smile, the dark mood back in full swing. “Sure. No problem.”
***
In the darkened room, Autumn lay awake listening to Jack’s heart beat under her ear and tried not to think of the future. He’d just returned home, but he already knew when he’d leave again. Though she should have been used to the cycle, she wasn’t. She couldn’t accept the fact that he was constantly leaving her and Lily behind, so he could go off on his African archaeological digs. It was a vicious pattern, and she was afraid of what she’d have to do. She loved him, but she often found herself wondering if this way of living was best for both herself and Lily. Because it was easier not to worry over when he’d be back, she’d opted to tell the world that there was no one special in her life, even if she desperately wanted Jack to be. If she had talked about him in interviews, it would have reminded her of their unstable relationship, and that was the last thing she wanted to mourn for however long he was gone.
Pretending he didn’t exist was easier for her heart.
They’d spent the day avoiding speaking of his inevitable departure, and, instead, they’d spent it playing with Lily and enjoying being together. They were a family again, and Jack had thoroughly enjoyed hearing all about her experiences in the spotlight. He was proud of her, and Autumn knew she’d bask in that for a long time no matter what happened. In turn, he’d told her about the skeletons they’d unearthed and how important they were to understanding human history. Though she hated his work for taking him away, she was proud of him, too.
However, as much as she’d enjoyed cooking with him, having someone to talk to besides Lily, and thrilled over the fact that the man she loved was home, she’d begun to feel desperate at the idea that he’d be leaving again. She’d poured all that desperation and the passion she felt for him into their lovemaking, and, even when he’d drifted to sleep, she’d lain awake. Worrying.
Careful not to wake him, she shifted and slid out of bed. Pulling on a robe, she padded into Lily’s room. Watching her daughter sleep peacefully, she remembered the first time she’d met Jack.
“Whoops! I’m so sorry,” Autumn apologized as she tried to bend and help the man pick up his belongings. At six months pregnant, she was already having difficulty moving around and was sure the coming months would only make things worse.
“No, no. Don’t worry about it.” He helped her stand. “Why don’t you sit down on that bench over there? I’ll bring over your things, too. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to bend like that.” He watched her bulging belly cautiously.
Nodding, Autumn moved to the bench and watched him retrieve her bags. She’d been wary of men for the past six months and was suspicious of this man’s intentions. No one in Los Angeles stopped to help another person unless they were visibly dying. Yet, here was this random guy helping her out.
“Here you go.” He deposited her things next to her then stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.
“Thanks,” Autumn mumbled and tried to ignore the fact that he kept staring at her.
He shuffled his feet nervously. “So, uh, how far along are you?”
“Huh? Oh.” She looked down at her belly. “Six months.”
At the weird look she gave him, he began to chuckle. “Sorry. I know it’s kind of random to ask that, but my sister’s eight months along. The whole pregnancy deal is really fascinating to me.”
“Are you a doctor?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I dig, you know, for bones. I’m an archaeologist.” He held out a hand. “Jack McCann. Well, it’s Dr. Jack McCann as of two weeks ago, so I guess I am a doctor.”
She placed her hand in his, trusting the sincerity she saw in his eyes. “Autumn. Autumn Evans. I’m an actress, and I’ll be filming my first movie as soon as my baby’s born.”
“Well, then.” He smiled, sitting next to her. “Let me be the first to congratulate you on the baby and the acting.”
Since that spring day nearly two years ago, Jack had stuck by her when she’d needed him. They’d been friends at first, and, even then, she should’ve been able to see the future. He’d been there for a month, then he was gone only to return just in time for Lily’s birth.
In the first two months after the birth, Autumn had let him take their relationship beyond the friendship stage and had fallen in love with him. After, he’d gone back to his project in Ethiopia, and she’d been too busy filming Rein of Silence to truly miss him. Maybe that should have been her first sign that she wasn’t as emotionally invested in him as she’d believed herself to be.
Running her fingers lightly over Lily’s dark locks, she left the nursery and, quietly pulling on sweats, she grabbed her car keys. Despite the fact that it was nearly five in the morning, she needed to clear her mind. And there was only one place she could go that gave her any peace of mind.
Author's Notes:
This one is literally hot of the presses. I JUST finished it, and it's completely unedited. I hope it's good! And happy Friday!
The breeze blew salty seawater through the air, and the crash of waves was a steady thundering beat. The stretch of beach was quiet in the pre-dawn light, and the cry of gulls would not be heard until the sun rose. Though it was early November, the air was warm—warmer than the water would be, in any case.
He missed the Keys, and the sunrises over the ocean that he would often wake up early to watch from his boat. The sun, the big, flaming ball of it, would peek out from the edge of the world, and then, as though it had decided that it liked what it saw, it would unleash its golden rays upon the ocean, the gulls that flocked over it, and Nick on his boat. Enjoying his solitude. Always his solitude.
That wasn’t true, he corrected himself. He liked his solitude, but he wasn’t lonely. He had his siblings, the Boys, Chris, Bean, and any number of other people that he was more than happy to spend time with. So why was he sitting on a deserted beach at dawn all alone?
Considering the alternative was to go home and ignore his engaged brother for as long as humanly possible, a quiet beach was loads better. Not that he didn’t love his brother because God knew he did. He just didn’t like the things Aaron had been doing lately and was more than happy to spend some good, quality Nick time away from the house. And, besides, he had wanted to see the sun rise. Granted, in southern California, well, the whole of the West coast, the sun rose over the land and not the ocean, but he still wanted to see it.
Brian had gotten him away from the overly inquisitive fan at the arcade and had dropped him off at home, promising Nick that they’d have lunch in a day or two. That was fine, Nick thought. He didn’t mind spending time with Brian because, whenever he was with the guys, he never felt as though they wanted something from him. Well, other than his voice. But that was fine because he was more than happy to use it.
Of course, that voice had gotten him millions of fans, and he usually didn’t complain. Why would he? Those fans were the source of his bread and butter, and, though it was a lowering thought to admit to himself, there wasn’t much else he knew how to do outside of the entertainment industry. He needed those fans if he wanted to survive—even if he didn’t always enjoy fan encounters. Which wasn’t to say that fan encounters were bad; he just dreaded the ones that were like the one the night before. Some fans needed to know everything about him, his life, his mind, hell, the size of his, well, his…you know. And those times were always awkward.
Either way, while he was sure Reid was a perfectly nice young woman, he wouldn’t mind much if he never saw her again. Not that she’d known that asking him about Aaron and Kari would piss him off or that wanting to know what his relationship was with Autumn Evans was sure to annoy him. He couldn’t blame her for not knowing.
“Not that I’ve figured out why that relationship would bother me,” he thought aloud as he tried to examine what it was, exactly, that bugged him about being linked to Autumn.
“I’ve heard talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity.”
Nick whipped his head around and found himself face to face with the current object of his annoyance and intrigue. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me! Way to give me a heart attack!” he added, thumping one hand over his racing heartbeat.
Autumn grinned and climbed onto the rock that Nick was currently perched on. “What’s up, Carter?”
“Besides my heart?” Though it was returning to normal. “Nothing. What are you doing here?”
Autumn shrugged and turned her gaze towards the dark waters of the Pacific Ocean. “Eh. I couldn’t sleep, and the sound of the water here always soothes me. When I-” She broke off when she realized she’d been about to tell him about how she’d walked the beach nearly every morning during the last trimester of her pregnancy. As far as the world knew, Lily Evans didn’t exist, and Autumn was going to keep it that way. “What’s your excuse?” she amended quickly.
“Same as yours. Couldn’t sleep,” he muttered, turning to look at her. She wore sweats, not unlike the ones he was in, and her hair had been tossed up into a messy pile on her head. Nick ran his fingers through his own hair, sure that it was just as much of a mess as hers. Then, wondering why he was worrying about hair fashion when no one was going to see them at this time, he focused in on her again. “Listen, I wanted to apologize,” he began, but she shook her head.
“Don’t worry about it. The media was just doing its job, Nick. Personally, I thought it was funny. Didn’t you?” she asked, watching his jaw set. Uh-oh. Maybe it’s not that funny.
He was silent for a few moments before speaking again. “I guess I just didn’t like seeing you called a whore. I’m surprised you were okay with that.”
“It’s the tabloids, Nick. I’ve been reading them in line at the grocery store since I was old enough to read. They always report anything from malicious to funny—so long as it’s juicy.” Autumn tried to understand why he was taking it so hard. “Did it bother you that they called your other girlfriends or hook-ups whores?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter. The thing is” he aimed those laser-blue eyes on her face now “you’re just getting started in this town. I don’t want you to be labeled as something you’re not. Something that could follow you for the rest of your career—if you’ll even have one. Hollywood works in crazed ways, Autumn. You might not do anything wrong, and it’ll still spit you out.” He sighed. “I guess I just want to see you succeed because I like you and your talent.”
It was Autumn’s turn to be silent. She wondered what to say to a statement like that. She’d never thought about it that way, and, now that he’d described the scenario, she was a bit nervous. But not too much.
“Don’t you think that’s a little melodramatic, Nick?” she asked finally.
“Uhh. No? It’s the truth. Look.” He took her hands in his. “When the reality show was getting started, I said a lot of stupid things in those magazines about people I’d hooked up with in the past. I got a lot of flack from that, and people weren’t exactly happy about it. Now that you’re in the picture, they’ll find some way to take you down, too.”
“So what?”
He stared at her. “What?”
“I said, so what?” Autumn repeated with a small smile. “Let them talk all they want and say all they want. As long as I have my talent, there’ll still be a place for me in this town. Relax, Nick. If this is what’s got you sitting on a beach at the crack of dawn, you can go home and rest easy. I’ll be fine.”
She had to have nerves of steel, Nick decided. He admired that ‘the hell with ‘em’ attitude she had and thought maybe it was time to take lessons. He’d spent too much of his life caring what other people thought of him on everything from his hair to his weight to his voice or the women he had relationships with. Autumn’s attitude was refreshing, and he wanted to follow that lead.
“Okay, then.” He let go of her hands but still watched her. “I’ll rest easy now that I know you have no problem with it. But you still didn’t really tell me why you’re here. So…spill. What’s bothering you?”
She raised a brow. “Why are you sure that there’s something bothering me?”
“Because you’re sitting on a dark beach at the crack of dawn, and only people who have worries do that. Trust me.” He flashed a smile. “I know all about that.”
Autumn rolled her eyes. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.” She poked him. “You’re a riot, Carter. Wherever did you get that awful sense of humor from?”
“Same place you got the sucky evasion skills from,” he replied and watched her brows wing up.
“You’re quick.”
“Thanks. You ought to know that I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s up with you? I’m nosy,” he added, seeing her open her mouth to retort. “I won’t go away until I know. I’m like those desperate housewife chicks on television.” He grinned again. “Come on, Autumn. You know you want to tell me.”
Actually, she didn’t know that, and, as she sat there debating whether or not she should tell him, she had to give him props for the persistence. At six in the morning, most people would’ve shrugged it off and wandered home to hop into bed. Not Nick Carter. And so she found herself wondering if she could, or should, tell him about Jack.
“It’s about a friend,” she began. “Okay, fine. It’s about my boyfriend.” She narrowed her eyes at the skeptical look on his face. “You just have to know everything, don’t you?”
“You’ve got a guy?” Nick was surprised. “Does the world know about this because they’ll get off our backs if they know you’re already with someone.”
Autumn shook her head. “I didn’t tell anyone, and neither will you,” she added threateningly. “Besides, Jack’s only home four months out of the year.”
“Oh. That’s gotta suck,” Nick tried to sympathize. “What does he do?”
“He’s an archaeologist and spends most of his time in Ethiopia. Africa,” she clarified at the blank look on Nick’s face.
“Hey! I know where Ethiopia is,” he insisted. “So, he’s an archaeologist, he’s gone for the majority of the year. Does the fact that he leaves all the time bother you?”
She sighed. “I know it’s not fair to expect him to leave his work for me, but I really do wish he was home more often. He came home yesterday, and I know he already knows when he’s going back. It hurts to have him leave me all the time,” she whispered.
“Do you love him?” Nick found he wanted to know for reasons unfathomable to him. He chalked it up to plain curiosity and continued to study her.
She was quiet for a few moments. When she finally looked up at him, her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. “I love him, and it breaks my heart every time he walks out the door.” She brushed at a tear that slid down her face. “It’s stupid, but I can’t stop it.”
Nick put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. “Don’t cry, babe. A face as pretty as yours shouldn’t be so sad.” He hugged her lightly, and she buried her face in his shoulder. “Have you told him how you feel?”
“Fee waweady whoas.”
His brows furrowed. “Say that again?”
Autumn leaned back, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. “He already knows,” she repeated. “He knows that it hurts, but he still leaves. I know it’s his work, but damn it! What about me? What about how I feel or need? All he sees is his work and his books and his damn bones! I wish he’d stay with a flesh and blood woman instead digging one out of the ground!”
He was definitely surprised now at the way she switched from upset to pissed off. The look in her eyes was enough to have him scooting away a little nervously. “Hey, hey. It’s going to be fine. I could go beat him for you if you want,” he offered cautiously.
“That’d be great!” Autumn laughed a little, her temper evaporating as quickly as it had appeared. “I spent all night thinking about it, and I couldn’t sleep. It worries me a little that I’ve stopped missing him when he’s gone, but, the instant he comes back, it hits me again. No one knows about Jack except for my closest friends, and I like it that way. If the interviewers asked me about him all the time, I’d just miss him more, you know? So it was just easier to pretend he didn’t exist than moping around because he was gone.”
“And now he’s back.”
She nodded. “Now he’s back, and, honestly, I don’t know how much longer I can keep playing tug-of-war with my emotions.”
“If you love him, then you should stick with him,” Nick told her. “I mean, Brian and Leighanne, Kevin and Kristin, they spent months without seeing each other, and look at them now. They’re married and happy. If you want it badly enough, you can hold onto it. But, if you doubt your relationship, then something’s not the way it should be. Right?”
Autumn considered for a moment. “Maybe. Since when did you become the relationship expert?” she wondered with a smile.
“I’ve been through enough shit with relationships that I know what works and what doesn’t. I’ve only ever loved one woman truly, but that was more puppy love than anything else,” he added, thinking of Mandy. “If I ever found someone that I was in love with the way you are with Jack, I wouldn’t let them go. I’d find a way to figure it out.” He squeezed her hand. “Don’t do anything rash because this guy must have some good qualities if you love him.”
“Yeah, he does. I guess I’ll have to think about it.” She sighed before looking over her shoulder. “Hey, the sun’s coming up.”
Nick turned around and saw the gilded light peaking over the horizon, beyond the commercial buildings, billboards, homes, and high rises. He held his breath and, when the sun finally, finally shone brightly over them, he let it out.
“That was pretty,” Autumn said quietly, as she slowly began to hear the sounds of a city coming to life.
“Yeah. Yeah, it was.” But neither of them moved.
As the city bustled into life for the new day, they sat peacefully and breathed in the salty air.
And her hand was still in his.
Author's Notes:
Hey all! The next chapter is a day early because I'm hoping to pop out one more by tomorrow *crossing fingers*. If not, then there will be no new PTW chapters until October 27th! Sorry, but I won't be around in the next little while, but hopefully, this installment will hold you. Enjoy!
He knew there was something wrong the instant he walked in the door. Maybe it was the fact that there was music blaring from Aaron’s room at seven in the morning. Or maybe it was that his sisters were toasting each other with what looked like champagne—again, at seven in the morning. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. Which meant there was a mess that he would probably have to clean up. Thinking it over, he decided to start at the easiest place.
“What’s going on?” he asked, wandering into the kitchen and snatching Angel’s champagne flute from her. He sniffed the glass and glared at his youngest sister. “You’re not twenty-one. Don’t touch this stuff without asking me. And you two.” His glare turned to BJ and Leslie. “Where do you get off drinking at seven in the freaking morning? What the hell are any of you doing up at seven in the morning? Isn’t it a little early?”
BJ rolled her eyes and clinked her flute with Leslie’s again. “Let’s hear it for our baby brother, ladies.” She wiggled her eyebrows at Nick. “We’re celebrating.”
“Jesus.” He sank into a chair at the table with them and didn’t protest when Angel snatched her glass back. “What did Aaron do now?”
Leslie giggled. “He dumped his fiancée.”
Nick’s head turned very, very slowly until he was looking into her cheerful face. Leslie’s eyes were sparkling, and he didn’t think it was all alcohol that put that look into them. “Say that again?” he repeated for the second time that morning.
“Aaron dumped that whore, Kari!” Angel announced loudly. “We’re free!” She scooted back from the table and whirled in circles around the kitchen, champagne flying from the glass still in her hand. “Isn’t that the most incredible news you’ve heard all year?”
Probably. “What happened?”
Angel dropped back into her chair and drained her glass before setting it down with a satisfying clink. Her smile was huge. “Apparently they had a fight last night at her place, and AC walked out on her. Said he’d been wrong to think that they could get married only knowing each other for a little while. If you ask me,” her voice lowered conspiratorially, “I think she was bad in bed. Aaron’s probably had better.”
“And more real,” BJ added, gesturing to her chest. “That girl was plastic all over. Besides, anybody with Internet could see her naked. Poor Aaron. The thrill was over before it could even get started.”
When the girls started giggling again, Nick felt the urge to join them. His brother had, through some miracle, seen the figurative light and changed his ways. There was serious hope for him now that he’d proven he could fix his mistakes maturely. At least, he hoped the break up had been mature. One could never tell with Aaron, though.
After listening to them rag on Kari for a few more minutes, Nick began to wonder what Aaron was thinking at the moment. He’d publicly asked a woman to marry him and then dumped her. There was going to be a lot of media drama over this new development, and he knew E! would milk it for all it was worth. As good as press was, it didn’t make up for the way Aaron was probably feeling. So, ruffling Angel’s hair, he pushed back from the table and made his way to his brother’s room.
The first time he knocked, there was no answer, and Nick figured it was because the music was up so loud that a guy would need extra powerful hearing senses in order to detect that knock. Linkin Park segued into Jay-Z’s “99 Problems,” and Nick figured it was Aaron’s way of dealing with the fact that, while he may have had ninety-nine problems, a bitch was no longer one.
When the doorknob turned easily in his hand, he pushed the door open and felt his jaw drop at the neatness of the room. Aaron was not known for his cleanliness, but the room looked as though a super housekeeper had gone through it. Aside from the body sprawled across the mattress in the center of the room, all of the recording equipment and computers were set neatly and sheet music no longer littered every available surface. It was a wonder what people were capable of doing when they were upset. Some people killed people, some yelled, and still others kicked things. Not his brother. Aaron turned into a neat freak.
“Aaron.” Nick sat on the edge of the mattress and studied his brother. Aaron’s face was buried in a pillow, and his arms and legs were thrust out across the length and width of the bed. When his brother made no move, Nick poked his leg. “Aaron. Talk to me, man.”
Aaron lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “There’s nothing to tell, Nick.” His voice was muffled by the pillow, but Nick could still tell that there were tears in his brother’s voice. “I’m a screw up, and so I screwed up. It’s nothing new.”
Nick began to feel bad about his negative thoughts towards the kid—yes, kid because that’s technically what Aaron was still—and wondered how he could make things better. “You didn’t screw up, AC. Things just got a little out of control. It’s no big deal.”
Aaron was still for a few moments, then, with a long-suffering sigh, he turned over and glared at Nick with bloodshot eyes. “Why aren’t you out there celebrating with the girls? I thought you’d be happy that I ditched Kari.”
The guilt intensified. “Listen, Aaron. I’m sorry I got mad at you over everything, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to make sure you’re okay. I might be glad that you’re not getting roped into marriage so early, but I’m still worried about you.”
“Well, don’t be.” Aaron folded his arms across his chest and gave Nick a defiant look. “I don’t need your worry, so you can just shove it.”
Don’t get mad, don’t get mad. He’s going through a rough patch. Nick repeated the mantra in his head a few times before he finally nodded. “You’re right. You don’t need my worry, but I need to worry about you. You’re the only little brother I got, and I have to make sure you’re going to be fine. I love ya, Aaron.”
And just like that, the tough guy exterior shattered. Nick found himself with a hundred and forty pounds of scrawny kid in his arms and grinned, despite the fact that his brother definitely needed a shower—soon. “I love ya, man,” Aaron mumbled. “I don’t want to mess up, but I really thought Kari and I-I thought we had something, I don’t know, special.”
“Aaron, you’ll find someone special,” Nick assured him, patting his back. “You’re only eighteen. Give it some time.”
Aaron slid back onto the bed and rubbed his eyes. “I know, but I just want somebody who’ll love me for me and always be there, and I thought Kari was the one. But she’s not. She just turned out to be like everybody else.”
He’d known that the scars from all the family in-fighting were deep, but he hadn’t known where and how they’d pop up. Nick tried to search for the right words to assure his brother that he was loved for who he was and that hid big brother would always be there whenever. “I know our family’s not the greatest, Aaron. I know that we hadn’t seen each other in a while, since Mom and Dad divorced, but, no matter what, you know we’ll always be there when you need us. Even if Les, BJ, and Angel don’t say it in so many words, you know they’ll be there. We’re the Carters, and we stick together through thick and thin,” he added, knowing he sounded cheesy. “Next time you need some love, find one of us.”
“I’m your twin, wacko. Of course, I’ll be there for you always.” Angel leaned against the doorjamb and shrugged when her brothers looked over at her. “Next time you want to marry a Playboy girl because you want love and affection—don’t. Call me up, Aaron, and we’ll chill.”
Nick grinned. His younger sister was growing up too fast for him. “Thanks, Angel.”
“Yeah.” Aaron had a small smile on his face now.
“Hey! Angel’s not the only one who’s got love to spread,” BJ spoke up, as she pushed open the door fully to reveal that she and Leslie had been listening too.
“Yeah,” Leslie agreed. “Even though it might not always seem like it, you know you can dig us up from wherever we are in the country, and we’ll come. We came when Nick wanted us to, and we’ll come when you need us, too.”
BJ walked over to the bed and ruffled Aaron’s hair. “We love you. You’re the only baby brother we have.” She paused for a moment. “Sorry about giving you a hard time about the engagement.”
Aaron shrugged. “It’s cool. I probably would’ve done the same thing if I were you guys.” He rested his arm on Nick’s shoulder as he looked around at his other siblings. “Thanks, you guys.”
“No problem,” Leslie replied. “But, damn, you’ve got to tone down on the crappy music you listen to.” Jay-Z was on repeat. “I mean, how many times are you really going to give us grief over a bitch?”
Nick couldn’t help it. He loved his siblings. “Hey guys, how about a group hug? We just avoided World War III in the Carter house, so I say now’s a good time for a hug.”
And he loved them even more when, despite their grumbling and complaining, he ended up pinned under the weight of their embrace, knowing, without a doubt, that bringing them together again had been one of his most brilliant ideas.
It just doesn’t get any better than this.
Author's Notes:
Sooo...i'm a day early. And I've added an obnoxiously, ridiculously large new picture to go with the picture (although some of the conversations in it are sneak peeks into upcoming stuff!). I hope you don't mind, though, if someone were to make me one for this story, i'd love them to bits and pieces! Either way, here are the next two chapters of Proving Them Wrong! Enjoy!
“Who are we having over for Thanksgiving?” Jack ambled into the kitchen with his question and slid into a chair at the table.
Autumn didn’t glance up from the script she was reading and continued to highlight the sections she needed to read. It had been two weeks since Jack had returned home, and things had gone from loving to awkward to tense between the two of them. When he hadn’t budged on the date of his return to Ethiopia, she shoved his things into the guest room down the hall, which caused another heated argument. They’d been having many of those, but, thankfully, she hadn’t had to go out in public anywhere and had thus avoided getting asked questions about why she looked so tired all the time.
The late nights of worrying and crying herself to sleep were wearing on her, and it showed—big time.
“Autumn?” Jack asked again. “Who’s coming over for your delicious Thanksgiving dinner?”
She shrugged, still reading her script. “Are you planning on staying past Thanksgiving weekend?”
Jack let out a long-suffering sigh. “Babe, we’ve gone around with this before. I have to go back because no one else was willing to spend Christmas at the site. We’re making so much progress, and no one wants the work to stop. I volunteered to take December and half of January because everyone else is going to be home with their families.”
Now she did look up. “And what are Lily and I? Chopped liver? Apparently, we don’t count as family to you because you wouldn’t leave us during the holidays if we were. Right?"
“Autumn.”
“Jack.”
“Who’s coming over for dinner next Thursday?”
“I’m trying to work.”
Jack let out a frustrated sigh. “Damn it, Autumn. Stop acting like a child!”
“I’m acting like a child? I am acting like a child?” Autumn set the script down slowly and turned to look over at him. “I’m not the one who tramps off halfway around the world and leaves his family to wonder and worry about when the hell he’s going to come home. If he’s going to come home. I have been here doing my work, taking care of my child, while you’re off doing God knows what. Do you even think about us while you’re over there? Or do you have a thing going with a fellow colleague?”
“Don’t.” Jack’s face was dead-white, making his eyes dark, oh so dark. “How can you believe that of me? Is this the point we’re at, Autumn? I can’t touch you, can’t tell you I love you, can’t do anything right because you’re upset at my work? Have I once begrudged you yours?” He stood now. “Do I know you? Because you sure as hell aren’t acting like the woman I fell in love with.”
“That’s fine, then.” She studied the man she’d fallen in love with, wondering where he’d gone. “You’re nowhere close to the man I thought I’d fallen in love with, either. I need someone who’s going to be there for me when I need him, who’ll be there to celebrate all of my accomplishments. I needed someone who loved me to be there to cheer Lily on when she took her first steps. But where were you? In Africa,” she answered herself. “What the hell is so much more fascinating about a person who’s been dead for thousands of years than one who’s alive? One you can talk to, share your life with? Tell me, Jack, so I can finally stop wondering what’s lacking in me that makes it so easy for you to leave so often.”
He watched her for a moment before shaking his head. “You want to know? You really want to know why it’s so much easier to study a person’s bones rather than their live counterparts? It’s because they don’t talk back, they don’t bitch at you, they don’t criticize you for living your life the way you fucking need to. I didn’t spend two years of my life with you because I wanted to hear you bitch and moan about how I’m always leaving you alone when I go to do my work.” Jack ran a frustrated hand through his hair before looking over his shoulder at her again. “If that’s what I’d wanted, needed, and looked for before I met you, then it’s definitely not something I’d ever make the mistake of looking for again.”
The pressure in her head, her chest, her heart was horrible, crushing. She took a careful breath and pushed past it. “Before you go looking again,” she said quietly, “you might want to consider the fact that, when another person cares for you or loves you, you have certain responsibilities to them. And you can’t just ignore those responsibilities because you don’t have the time nor the inclination to deal with them.”
“You can take those responsibilities and stuff them.” Jack stalked to the door. “Love isn’t supposed to be a burden, either. Do your responsibilities keep you warm at night, Autumn? Because, the way things are going, they’re the only things that’ll keep you company in bed.”
And he was gone, leaving Autumn to hug herself, pressing her fingers into her arms to keep the tears at bay. He would not make her cry, she thought. It didn’t matter that it all felt like an ending, but she wouldn’t cry. She hadn’t cried the night of Lily’s conception nor the days following her parents’ deaths. What good would tears do, anyway? she asked herself. The answer was nothing.
Knowing that the only way she would deal with the terrible pain the argument had caused was to bury it and busy herself with other things, she lifted her highlighter and pen and tried to push herself into reading the script Liz had sent her.
***
The wall clock ticked to two in the morning, and still she sat. She sat where she’d been sitting for the last three hours, since she’d set the script, the pens, and highlighters down. She sat where she’d been sitting when she and Jack had had the single most hideous argument in their time together.
And she bled. She bled from a thousand wounds that leeched her heart dry. But her mind and her dried up heart were set.
When his fingers brushed over the nape of her neck, she didn’t move. She barely glanced at him when he sat in the armchair across from hers.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.”
His words didn’t inspire the movement in her. The shock that he’d dare to speak to her now did. Her head lifted slowly. “I know.” For he was. He was sorry in the way he knew sorrow to be. It was full of shame, guilt, and embarrassment at the lack of control, consideration, and care. “I know you are.”
“I love you, Autumn. I really love you, and I can’t stand the thought of hurting you.” He sighed. “And yet we keep going around and around without figuring out how to solve our problems without hurting each other. Even when I don’t want to hurt you, I do. I want to change that.” His voice was firm. “I need to fix this.”
Now, she sighed, too. “I don’t know how we can solve this, Jack. The only way I see is if we compromise, but neither of us is willing to do so. I’ve watched you leave me too many times and wondered—wished—that the next time you’d ask the administrators of the dig for just a little more time off to spend with your family. But you didn’t. And I don’t mean to blame you,” she added quickly, seeing his mouth open to protest. “I’m blaming no one but circumstance. I’m tired, dead tired, of fighting you as I know you’ve got to be tired of the constant arguing, too.” She smiled a little. “You came home to relax, and all I’ve given you is tension.”
He reached out and took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “Being near you, despite the tension, is a vacation for me. You and Lily make coming home the best part of my year.”
“It’s not working.”
He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t seem to be.” His grip on her fingers tightened. “I don’t want to let this go easily. Hell, I don’t want to let us go at all.” His eyes were steady on hers. “I think we should call a truce, just until Thanksgiving. Let’s table the talk of my departure for one week.”
“One week?” She thought about it for a moment. What was one week in the presence of so many weeks of shouting matches? “Okay.”
“Just a week, where we can be together, relax, and be a family. Be thankful for what we’ve got. Because we’ve got a hell of a lot more than other families have got.”
His words made her think, for just an instant, about Nick and his family. Then the thought slipped her mind as Jack stood and pulled her off the couch. “What are you doing?”
His smile was one she’d barely seen since the day of his return. “I’m taking you up to bed. You’ve got a busy day tomorrow, Miss Hotshot Hollywood Actress, and you need your beauty sleep.” He brushed a kiss over her cheeks.
“You don’t have to escort me up,” she began to protest but he cut her off.
“Truce, remember?”
She nodded. “Yeah, okay. Truce.”
Whatever else she may have said fell away when he swept her off her feet and carried her towards the stairs. It did feel good, she mused, to have his arms around her and to press her face against his throat and pretend, just for a little while, that they were like any normal, happy couple. And, like any normal, happy couple, her thought continued as the first frissons of desire curled in her belly, they were certainly entitled to their fair share of…fun.
A half hour later, wearing nothing but a grin and sweat, she ran her fingers through Jack’s hair and laughed, truly laughed for the first time in weeks.
“So, how are things?”
Was it just him, or was the whole situation just too weird? He sipped from the lemonade in front of him. “Things are going okay. You?”
Leighanne sat back and pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head and met his blue gaze with her own. “It’s good. I’m at a good place.” She patted his hand. “Trust me, this is very weird for me, too.”
They sat at a table for two at one of the posh sidewalk cafés in Beverly Hills. Despite the fact that it was November, the weather was gorgeous, the sun was shining, and there was a quiet breeze blowing. Nick could just make out the scent of sea in the air and wished he were at the beach. Wished he were anywhere, actually, rather than sitting here with a woman he’d rarely spent more than a minute with in the last nine and a half years. And certainly never alone. Brian had always been there as a tension-breaker. How the hell was he expected to make it through a whole lunch with her, especially since they’d just ordered?
“Then what are we doing here?” His voice was flat, no-nonsense, and he felt bad when he saw her wince.
She pursed her lips for a moment before she spoke. “I’m sorry it causes you a great deal of pain to be near me, and I know I’m to blame for that. But I’d hoped that we could get past the resentment and misunderstandings of the last ten years, and maybe, just maybe, be friends.”
“Why? Why now? What’s in it for you?” He’d never known Leighanne to do anything without a purpose to it.
She studied him for a moment before smiling. “I guess I’ve been horribly mistaken all these years,” she began. “When I first started dating Brian, you weren’t much more than a kid. Hell, you’re ten years younger than me—and that’s not at all flattering to me,” she added with a half laugh. “I thought, for a long time, that you were immature. I’d see the way you pouted whenever I visited Brian, and it put my back up. I wasn’t comfortable with the way you’d glare at me, so I guess I worked on Brian until the two of you were separated. Until I no longer had to worry about you being around, acting like the brat I was so sure you were.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, Nick. I’m so sorry for ruining such a good friendship, and I’m hoping that we, you and I, can turn a new page and try to become friends.”
“What made you change your mind about me?” he wondered, remembering exactly the way he’d been when Leighanne had first become a part of the Backstreet team. Part of the blame rested on his shoulders, too.
“You’re not immature, Nick. At least, not anymore,” she added. “Which is to be expected because you’re not as young as you were. You’ve done your fair share of growing up, and you’re certainly more responsible than you used to be.” One perfect fingernail tapped nervously on her glass of water. “I was furious when I heard about your show, when you finalized the paperwork. I didn’t want Brian to be associated with something I was sure would run our names through muck. I got caught up in the red haze I was seeing and dragged Brian into it, too. I didn’t stop to think about what the show might truly mean to you.” Leighanne leaned forward, her gaze direct. “I’m proud of you. It was a shock to me to realize it, but I am proud of you. Not because of what I’ve seen on camera, but the way taking care of your siblings for two months changed you off-camera. It made you more mature, responsible. Like an adult.”
To say he was astonished was an understatement. He’d been blown out of the water by her words because he’d never expected them to leave her mouth when she was talking about him. “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted truthfully after a few moments.
“It’s okay.” She sighed. “I guess I’d be wary of me, too, if I were you. After all, we’ve never exactly gotten along.”
“I felt like you stole Brian from me,” Nick blurted out and didn’t bother cursing himself for saying exactly what he’d thought for years. “He was my best friend, and you took him away. It was like, the second you showed up and fluttered those eyes, he was down for the count. He wasn’t Frick to my Frack anymore. He was yours, and you made damn sure to let me know it. So forgive me if I’m just a little cautious about you popping up out of nowhere and wanting to be friends.”
Leighanne was quiet while their meals were served and while Nick began to pick at his salad and mentally wished for a huge platter of chicken. When she finally looked up at him, her face was tinged with sadness. “I am sorry, Nick. Sorry because I took away someone you cared for a great deal, and I’m sorry because I deprived Brian of a good friend. I guess I was unwilling to deal with the idea of the man I was falling in love with having a best friend who was barely legal.”
“Which is sort of understandable,” Nick had to admit aloud. “Like you said, you’re ten years older than me and having a kid crowd into a serious relationship like that would’ve cramped your style.”
When she laughed, he frowned. “What’s so funny?”
“The idea of a child cramping my style, as you put it,” she replied. “Because, God knows, Bay does it all the time. I can’t remember the last time Brian and I managed to make-”
“Stop!” Nick covered his ears. “What’s with you and Brian constantly telling me about your love life? Jeez.”
“Sorry.” She grinned. “We’re in love, we tend to ooze rainbows and hearts.”
He smiled now, too. “It’s nice and all, but, man, it must be classic to have the Bayster barge in on the two of you. I bet the look on Brian’s face is priceless.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Leighanne agreed with a chuckle.
“You should take a picture some time,” Nick suggested with a wicked smile. “Bet that look would be even more priceless.”
Nearly a half hour passed before Nick realized that he’d been wrong. It wasn’t difficult at all to be around Leighanne. They were beginning to understand each other, and, while he was sure hell was coated with a layer of ice, he was happy to be mending more familial ties.
***
“That’s rough.” Liz clucked as she handed Autumn a bottle of water from the sidewalk vendor.
Autumn adjusted her sunglasses and shrugged. “At least we’re at a truce.”
“Until Thanksgiving,” Liz reminded her. “What’ll you do afterwards when he’s leaving again?”
She’d refused to think about that. “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Maybe even burn it,” she muttered to herself.
“I want you happy, pal.”
Liz hooked her arm through Autumn’s as they strolled down the busy LA street during lunch hour. Autumn was on a break between interviews, and they’d decided to grab a quick lunch—incognito. Autumn Evans was a big enough star to warrant paparazzi attention, and she didn’t want to attract any when she wasn’t sure she was ready for it.
Now, she gave her best friend a grateful smile. Only Liz knew everything Autumn had been through since her arrival in Los Angeles seven years before. Only Liz knew the suffering, heartache, and betrayals. And she’d stuck when no one else had wanted to.
“I’m so glad I went to that Burger King in Anaheim the day I did, Liz,” she began. “God knows, I would’ve never found you otherwise. You’re my lifesaver.”
“And you’re mine. We’re a great team, you and me,” Liz agreed. “And Lily, of course,” she added.
Autumn’s smile was brilliant. “My darling angel,” she murmured before lifting her voice. “Being my best friend, and agent, you wouldn’t mind digging up a number and inviting my last Thanksgiving guest for me, right?”
Liz rolled her eyes. “You’re such a slave driver, Autumn. It’s always demand, demand, demand with you. You’re such a bitch,” she added with a playful grin. “I’ll invite your guest. Who is it?”
Autumn had spent a while thinking about the invite. Unsure if it would be considered awkward or very random, she’d decided to just do it anyway. The problem was, she didn’t have his number. Which was ridiculous because they’d spent enough time together that they should have each other’s contact info. If he came, she mused, there was no way they could miss the number exchange. If he came, she reminded herself.
“Nick Carter,” she told Liz and watched Liz’s gray eyes widen and her brown brows fly up in surprise.
“You’re joking.”
“Nope.”
“Autumn, you don’t even know the guy.”
“You’d be surprised,” she replied quietly. “Please, just call him up for me. I don’t have the time, and I don’t want to invite him the day before, which is the first day I’d find time.”
Liz sighed. “Okay. I’ll call him. And that concludes this portion of our day,” she added, glancing down at her watch. “You’re going to be late for the taping of Ellen if we don’t get back to the car now.”
“Thanks, Liz. You’re the best.”
“As long as you don’t forget it.”
***
“That was weird.” Nick stared at the cell phone in his hand.
“Who was it?” Leighanne asked as she waited with him while their cars were being brought around by the valet service.
He stuffed the phone in his pocket. “Autumn Evans’ agent. She said Autumn would like to have me over for Thanksgiving dinner at her house.” As he frowned at the oddity of that, he missed Leighanne’s look of speculation and pleasure.
“You have plans for Thanksgiving?” she asked. “Because you’re not invited to the Littrell house anymore.”
“Is that your not-so-subtle way of pushing me into going?” he wondered.
“That depends. Were you not going to go?”
Nick was quiet for a few moments. “Is this going to be a mistake?”
“Nope.” Leighanne stepped towards her car as it was driven up to where they stood. “It’s just perfect. And if you don’t believe that, trust me. After all, we old people know what we’re doing.”
Maybe, he thought, sliding into his own car moments later. Or maybe it would be a mistake. But he couldn’t say he wasn’t anticipating seeing more of Autumn’s life, either.
Author's Notes:
sooo, i decided the giant picture had to go. it was obnoxious. until i figure out how to make a pretty banner, this one stays. oh, and i know it's wednesday, but, to celebrate the beginning of november, here's the next chapter. there will most certainly be another one on Friday--if i finish it. enjoy!
P.S. i promise things will start picking up soon.
“You came!” Autumn’s smile was brilliant as she saw who was on her porch when she opened the door.
Nick shrugged. “Yeah, I thought I’d drop by. I was invited, wasn’t I?”
“Of course, yeah! You found the house okay?” She wasn’t sure why she was so jittery, or maybe it was just the fact that her truce with Jack was running out of steam. They’d been arguing again, and she was trying to stave off the headache that was threatening to split her skull.
Nick frowned. Despite the smile, she seemed nervous, anxious. “Yeah, I did. It’s a quiet neighborhood. Do people realize the great Autumn Evans lives here?”
She smiled. “Some do, some don’t. The ones who do won’t say anything because they don’t want the neighborhood disturbed by the media hounds.” She held the door open wider. “You should come in. Everyone else is here already.” And Lily was asleep. Hopefully, she’d sleep until Nick was gone. As much as Autumn was beginning to like and trust him, she didn’t trust him enough to tell him about her daughter.
He stepped through the door and held out the bakery box he’d been holding. “I come bearing gifts.” When she gave him a puzzled smile, he shrugged. “I figured most women like chocolate, so I got you dessert.”
“Thanks.” She gestured towards the living room. “Everyone’s in there. I’ll go put this in the kitchen and be right in.” When she started to move past him to get to her kitchen, he reached out and took hold of her arm. “Nick?”
He cocked his head to the side and studied her curiously. “Something’s wrong,” he murmured and lifted a hand to rub his fingers at the center of her forehead. “You get these worry lines…right here.” He punctuated with his fingers. “Got a headache?”
Autumn had to stop herself from leaning into the press of his hand. He was alleviating her headache without even realizing it. She allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment before opening them and giving him a genuine smile this time. “Thanks. Thank you. That makes it better.”
“It’s Thanksgiving, Autumn. You shouldn’t have a headache or things causing you headaches. You should be relaxed.” He looked past her to the kitchen where all the smells that were making his stomach rumble were coming from. “Need help with anything?”
Besides a relationship counselor? she wondered but shook her head. “No, everything’s under control. You should go sit down. I’ll be in shortly.”
Before he could say anything, she’d slipped past him and into the kitchen. A moment later, he heard the sounds of dishes rattling faintly and shrugged to himself. Deciding he may as well acquaint himself with her guests, he walked into the living room, studying her home as he went.
It was much smaller than he’d expected it to be, and he’d been surprised when he’d realized the address he’d held in his hands had pointed to a townhouse set in one of LA’s more crowded sections. Her home was squished into a row of at least thirty others, and he didn’t know how she managed to breathe being as confined as she was to this house.
At least she’d managed to make it cozy and comfortable. The entryway, den, and the kitchen he’d caught sight of were full of warm colors, pretty paintings and framed postcards on the walls, and fresh flowers here and there. The living room, he noted as he stepped in, was full of the same along with comfortable-looking couches in muted green and blue tones.
The looks he was receiving from those gathered in the room, though, were not as warm, and he suddenly knew what an organism on a microscope slide felt like.
“Hello.” He opted to be friendly. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Is this supposed to be an indication of her place in society now?” The lone man seated with three women turned to them with a scowl on his rugged, tanned face. “Is she going to start bringing home celebrities to shove in my face?”
Nick’s brows shot up, but one of the women, a brunette, responded first. “Shut up and get off your high and mighty horse.” She turned to Nick now, a smile on her face that echoed the one he saw in her pretty gray eyes. “Hi, Nick. Happy Thanksgiving. Why don’t you sit?” She gestured to the space next to her. “I’m Liz, by the way. I was the one that spoke to you last week.”
“Oh.” Nick nodded, remembering, and shot her a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Liz. You, too,” he added, facing the other three. He’d already figured out that the irritated man was the infamous Jack, and probably the cause of Autumn’s current headache.
“It’s good to meet you, too, Nick.” A woman with dark red curls and deep blue eyes smiled back as she leaned over and held out a hand. “I’m Sherrie, one of Autumn’s publicists. Leah’s the other one,” she added, gesturing to the pretty blonde that sat next to her.
Nick shook hands with both of them. “So, you’re all good friends with Autumn?”
Leah nodded. “The four of us have known each other since Liz met Autumn when Autumn first came to LA seven years ago. Trying to get Autumn’s career going helped get our careers started, too.”
“And during that time, we just clicked and became good friends,” Liz added from Nick’s side. “She tells us pretty much everything,” she added quietly.
Understanding dawned on him as he realized Autumn had told them of their meeting on the beach and after the awards show. He suddenly felt like they knew him more than he was comfortable with strangers knowing. “Uh, that’s good,” he answered finally and wondered where the hell his host was.
“It’s okay, Nick. We’re not going to crucify you or anything,” Liz told him with a little laugh when she noted his discomfort. “We’re fairly harmless.”
“Why would you crucify him?” Jack asked, finally breaking his silence and studying Nick with a mixture of curiosity, disdain, and irritation on his face.
Nick laughed nervously. “Uh, no reason. So, you, uh, you must be Jack, right? The archaeologist?”
“Yeah. How do you know?” Suspicion crept into Jack’s defensive tone.
Realizing he should probably tread carefully on what seemed to be boggy ground, Nick picked his words carefully. “She’s, uh, told me about you. That you were in Africa on a dig.”
“I’ll be back in Africa soon enough,” Jack replied, sending a hateful glare at the three women as if daring them to say anything.
“Jack.” Autumn entered, her forced smile so bright it hurt Nick’s eyes. “Let’s not discuss that right now, please. Dinner’s ready.”
Wanting to relieve the tension from her best friend’s shoulders, Liz sprang up. “Great! Autumn’s Thanksgiving dinners are the best,” she told Nick as he stood and followed everyone into the cozy dining room. “I don’t know when she found time to learn to cook, but she did. She’s a genius with turkey.”
Nick smiled at the warmth Autumn’s agent practically beamed, knowing she was trying to dissipate the anger in the room. “She’s a woman of many talents,” he agreed.
“I’ll say,” Leah replied as everyone settled at the table. “I still can’t believe that she actually finds time to do all of this.”
“She wouldn’t have had to if we’d gone to my sister’s house where we were invited,” Jack said, watching Autumn intently as if challenging her.
She ignored him and lifted the knives she held over the turkey. “You should get started, guys, on the other courses. I’m going to cut this.”
“Let me do that.”
Looking up from where the tip of the knife had pierced the turkey, her eyes met Nick’s. “What?”
“I’d like to carve the turkey,” he repeated.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I’ve never really gotten a chance to do it. I’ve never actually had a Thanksgiving dinner in my own home before. So, please, I’d like a chance, and I really think you should sit and enjoy some of this dinner you spent time and effort making.”
“Okay.” Autumn handed the knife to him and studied him as he began to cut slices off of the turkey. In concentration, his brows were furrowed while the tip of his tongue rested between his lips. “Why haven’t you been at home for Thanksgiving before? Where did you go every year?” she asked after a few moments.
He didn’t look over at her when he answered as he wanted to carve the meat as perfectly as he could. “Sometimes, I’d go to one of the guys’ houses, and, other years, I didn’t really have a Thanksgiving.”
“Why aren’t you with your dysfunctional family?” Jack sneered. “Shouldn’t Thanksgiving be one of those sappy holidays when you could tape yourselves and sell it to the rest of the world?”
The retort that sprang to her lips stayed silent when Nick answered. “My sisters wanted to spend today with our mother, and my brother is with our dad. I was invited to my bandmate, Brian’s, home.”
“Oh! You should’ve gone there then,” Autumn said apologetically. “I didn’t mean to pull you away from spending time with your loved ones.”
“I wanted to come here,” Nick replied quietly. “Who wants white?” he added, gesturing to the small pile of turkey he’d cut.
Sherrie and Leah held their plates out to him. Liz smiled up at him, appreciative of the fact that his surprisingly good manners were making Jack look like an ass. “We’re glad you’re here, Nick.”
The look on his face was one of surprise and genuine pleasure as he looked over at her. “Thanks. I wanted to come because I wanted to spend time with someone I consider a friend. I don’t know her too well, but I’d like to,” he added.
The look that passed between Autumn and Nick was not lost on Jack. His irritation had turned to annoyance and disgust. “Well, I got to know her real well,” he began, “and, let me tell you, if you like being with a demanding bitch who doesn’t let you have a minute’s peace to do what you need to do, then you’ve picked the right woman. Oh, wait. I guess, after Paris Hilton, your type probably is the demanding bitch.”
All four women practically leapt to their feet at the raging insult in Jack’s words, but Nick managed to answer before either of them. His blood may have been boiling at being insulted by a man who constantly upset the woman he claimed to love, but he tried to keep his cool and spoke calmly with his eyes on Jack’s sneering face. “I have yet to see this demanding bitch that you mentioned, but Autumn is a great person. I’d like to be nothing more than her friend because she’d be a hell of a lot more fun to be around than you. You don’t deserve her, and I bet it burns your ass because you know it, too. I wonder how you sleep at night, knowing that you don’t have an ounce of respect for a woman who is obviously willing to lay it all on the line for you. So don’t fucking say anything to me about demanding bitches when you are acting like one yourself.” He paused for a second to spear a piece of turkey with the knife he still held. “Dark meat?”
***
When everyone, minus Jack, who’d claimed he had something to do and had left the house, was seated in the living room with coffee and homemade apple pie, Nick excused himself and slipped out of the house to stand on the porch. He needed a breath of fresh air from the tension that had hovered over the table for the rest of dinner. Everyone had been practically silent after Nick had efficiently reamed Jack out. From what Autumn had told him about the man, Nick had expected Jack to be a decent guy. Obviously, he was mistaken, and he wondered what Autumn saw in him. How could she put up with a guy who was basically abusing her emotionally?
“It’s a pretty night, isn’t it?”
He glanced over to see Liz stepping onto the porch. “Yeah,” he replied, turning so he could try to make out the stars that looked faded beyond the light pollution of the city. “Wish we could see the stars better, though.”
“Well, we live in a city of smog, so we’d better be used to it,” she told him. “Besides, I’ve seen my fair share of stars. Haven’t you?”
He studied her now. “Human stars are nuts. I think I wouldn’t mind if I could spend a week without having to deal with their shit.”
“I want to thank you,” she said after a moment. “You didn’t need to spend Thanksgiving dinner dealing with Autumn’s ‘shit,’ as you said.”
“Wait.” He stopped her. “I didn’t mean that I minded what just happened in there.” He jerked a finger towards the house behind him. “I meant everyone else out there in entertainment land.”
“Oh.” Liz sighed. “Still. I really appreciated the fact that you stood up for her. Jack insulted you, hit below the freaking belt with the Paris comment, and you still dealt with him. God, I just wanted to beat the crap out of him.” She laid her hands over the porch railing, and Nick could see her knuckles whiten on it. “He’s the biggest asshole I’ve ever met, and I still don’t know why the hell Autumn fell for him. What is it about men that makes the best of women such idiots?”
Nick grinned. “We’re so awesome, it’s hard to resist us. You shouldn’t even try to resist us because you’d be a lost cause.”
She chuckled. “You’re cute. Real cute. Which is something I never envisioned saying to or about you,” she added.
“Why? What’s wrong with me?”
“At the moment, I can’t really think of anything, but that’s probably because you were really great tonight. It makes me see you as more than just that idiot whose face is plastered on E! and billboards all over the place.” Liz laid a hand over his as she looked up into his face, her eyes dark. “You’re a good guy, Nick. You helped my best friend in what was definitely a sticky situation, and I don’t think we’ll forget it.”
He looked from her hand to the slight smile on her appealing face. “If you have dinner with me sometime, we’ll call ourselves even.”
She let out a surprised laugh. “Is that the best line you’ve got?”
“I’ve got more. If I try again, will that convince you?”
She was quiet as she studied his face. “I think you’re actually serious, which makes this very surreal situation even more surreal.”
“It’d be real if you just said yes,” he told her, hoping that she’d just agree to even one date. All through the rest of dinner, she’d talked to him and made him feel comfortable despite the tension, and he’d liked watching her smoky eyes light up when she smiled. He’d found himself charmed by her straightforward, unpretentious personality and realized he was tempted to break the promise he’d made to not date until he’d figured out what was going on in his life and his goals. She was temptation with an innocent face but temptation nonetheless.
Her hand fell away from his as she leaned against the railing. “I don’t know what to say, Nick. We just met. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me.”
“Isn’t that the point of dating?” he wondered. “It’s that time where I get to know you, and you get to know me. It’s just a date, Liz. I’m not asking you to get into some string-filled relationship with me. It’s not supposed to be complicated.”
“You’re Nick Carter. It’s bound to be complicated.” But she let out a long sigh before facing him again. “One date. To start, anyway. I’ll see what happens after that.”
He grinned. “Great! How about next Friday at seven? We can do dinner, a movie, maybe hit a club?”
“Whoa. Slow down, Carter.” She shook her head. “We can do dinner next Friday, but that’s it. Let’s start slow.”
“As long as it’s a start,” he replied. “Dinner it is. I know the best place. I think you’ll like it.”
Liz patted his hand before she turned to head back in. “I better not regret this. Oh, and don’t bring me roses. They’re such a cliché,” she added over her shoulder before the screen door shut behind her.
Nick stood on the porch staring after her and grinning like a fool. He was going on a date with someone normal for the first time in…longer than he could remember.
God, what a miserable night. Autumn sank down on the couch in her den and covered her face with her hands. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but the terrible pressure in her chest was painful. Added to it was the headache that had never completely disappeared, so she was a mess of emotional and physical pain.
How had she overlooked the fact that Jack was a miserable son of a bitch? She’d been with him for two years, she’d given him all the space he’d needed, he’d had six thousand miles, and still it hadn’t been enough. She hadn’t been enough.
Somehow, for nearly two years, she’d been so blinded by her first leap into love that she hadn’t looked twice. She’d followed him, waited for him, and, now, had been humiliated by him. Would the ones she loved always, always betray her heart?
When the memories of that horrible night just over two years ago flashed through her mind, she shut them out, shut them down. She wouldn’t think about that but focus on the present. It was the present that had her trembling with rage, hurt, and tears.
It was Thanksgiving.
Taking slow, deep breaths to relieve the pressure in her head and chest, she tried to think positively. Her food had been good, and she’d been proud of it. The company, besides Jack, had been great. She owed Nick for standing up for her. He hadn’t needed to, but he’d done it.
Of course, part of that was probably for himself, too. Jack shouldn’t have brought Paris up. After the confrontation the night of her first film premiere, she knew, no matter the time distance, Paris would always be a sore subject for Nick. He’d been covering for himself first, she thought, but she was still grateful that he’d helped her save face.
Not that her best friends hadn’t been ready to take Jack down and bury his body in a shallow grave, either. And, speaking of the son of a bitch, she thought as she heard the front door open.
When the light flicked on in the den, she didn’t bother to stand as he stood in the doorway and watched her with…was that disinterest?
“Autumn.”
“Hello, Jack.”
He inclined his head and stepped into the room. “Why are you still up?”
“It’s not because I was waiting for your sorry ass,” she said quietly, temper sneaking behind the words.
Jack waved her words away. “Don’t be a drama queen, Autumn. It doesn’t suit you.” He paused. “Then again, maybe it suits you perfectly.” When she didn’t say anything, merely continued to watch him silently, he seated himself in an armchair and studied her. “You’re probably wondering where I went.”
“I’m wondering why you’re back.”
His lips twitched, and he fought the smile back. He’d always liked her smart mouth. When had he stopped loving the whole package? “I guess I figured I owed you an apology. And I wanted to get my things, see you and Lily one, last time.”
“You’re done here then?” Though she said the words dispassionately, she could feel what was left of her heart disintegrating bits at a time in a painful process.
“It was inevitable, wasn’t it?” He looked down at his hands then up at her. “I’m not what you need, and you’re not what I need.”
Will I ever be what anyone needs? she wondered. “You’re right.” Then, “You had no right to insult my guests, Jack. Whatever we were fighting about, it should never have extended to people I consider friends and family.”
“Since when is Nick Carter part of the family?” Jack demanded.
She shook her head. “This isn’t about Nick. This is about our arguments lashing out and hurting other people. Innocent people. It shouldn’t have happened, and it won’t ever happen again.”
“No, it won’t.” He stood. “I’m going back to Ethiopia day after tomorrow, so we won’t have to worry about each other for too much longer. I’ll just get my things and go.”
When he started for the door, Autumn bit down on the tears and stopped him. “Stay the night. I don’t want you to have to roam LA looking for a room at this time of the night. You can say goodbye to Lily in the morning. She’ll be hurt if you go without seeing her.”
Jack simply watched her for a moment before sighing. “I guess Carter was right,” he said quietly. “You really are more than a guy like me deserves.”
After he’d gone, and she’d heard the door shut upstairs, Autumn let the tears pour down her cheeks as she curled into a ball and wept her heart dry.
***
“You whore!”
Nick winced as AJ slapped his back in lieu of a congratulatory hug. “Uh, thanks, I think?”
AJ grinned wildly as he turned to the other two men in the room. “Can you believe this kid? He goes over there because your wife-” He pointed to Brian. “-wanted to set him up with Autumn Evans. So he gets an invite to the home of a beautiful and talented woman, and what does he do? He walks away with a date with her agent.” He wiped away a fake tear. “I’m so proud to call you a friend.”
Brian rolled his eyes good-naturedly before shifting his gaze to Nick. It had been years since he’d looked closely at the man who’d once been his closest friend, his best confidant, but he was beginning to remember where to look to spot trouble signs. Today, there were none.
“So I take it you’re happy to go on a date with…what’s her name?”
Nick pulled out a chair and sat. “Liz. Elizabeth Barnes. She’s like this breath of fresh air, you know? Yeah, she’s in the business, but she’s not in front of the cameras. She knows all about hard work, and she’s pretty and kind. She’s also one hell of a best friend,” he added, remembering the way she’d stuck by Autumn’s side during the dinner.
“She’s a brunette,” AJ emphasized. “That’s new.”
“Hey! I’ve dated brunettes before,” Nick protested.
Howie exchanged glances with Brian, and both of them shook their heads before Howie turned back to Nick. “So, when’s this date?”
“Friday. Three days,” Nick replied, thoughtfully twirling a pencil through his fingers. He could see her face in his mind and smell that barely there perfume she’d been wearing. “It’s weird because I can’t wait to see her again. I feel like I’m fourteen years old and about to go on my first date.”
Brian laid a hand on his shoulder. “Then this is important. She’s going to be someone important for you.”
Nick looked over at him. “Maybe. I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.”
Later, as he listened to AJ and Howie running through scales together to warm up, Nick turned to Brian as they stood watching their bandmates. “Can I ask if you felt the way I’m feeling right now when you were about to go on your first date with Leighanne?”
The surprise showed in his eyes for a moment before Brian blinked it away. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.” He sighed and just barely remembered not to chew on his fingernails. “Nick, are you thinking that seriously this fast?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just see her face in my head all the time, and I want to call her everyday. She was just so easy to talk to and didn’t play all those stupid flirty games or anything. Hell, I had to convince her to go on a date.”
“You had to work the Carter charm? She didn’t fall for it without effort?” Brian’s brows rose in surprise. “Good for her.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too,” Nick said quietly. “I wonder what’ll happen.”
Brian just patted his back. “What’s meant to happen will happen. Just go with the flow. You’ll know what to do.”
“Three days,” Nick repeated. “By the way,” he added as an afterthought, “what flowers are better than roses to give to a woman?”
Author's Notes:
YAY! Another PTW chapter! Gosh, i'm so excited! i don't know about you, but I'm glad I could pop another chapter out so fast! I didn't think there would be one this week because I'm so bogged down with work. Lucky for you, I'm skipping over doing my paper tonight and will be spending it writing for this story and my new one, Remember the Music! Check that one out too (end of shameless plug). Enjoy!
Nick stared at the flowers in his hand then up at Chris. “You can’t be serious. I asked you to get flowers, and this is what you get?”
Chris shrugged. “What’s wrong with roses? Isn’t that what all women want?”
“Ha. That’s what I thought, too. Apparently, we’re wrong.” Nick set the roses on a table and checked his watch. “Roses are a ‘cliché,’ according to Liz. And I’ve got half an hour to get flowers and make it to her house.”
“Traffic’s a bitch, Nick.” Chris plopped onto a couch and made himself comfortable.
“Dude. When is traffic not a bitch in this city? We’re in fucking Los Angeles.” He ran his fingers through his hair and patted his pockets, searching for his keys. “Do you see my keys anywhere?”
Chris sat up and looked around the room. “Nope. Kitchen?”
“Thanks for the help, man.” Nick rolled his eyes and went to search the kitchen. When he found his keys on the stove, he frowned at their location and himself. What the hell was wrong with him that he left keys on stoves?
“Find them?” Chris asked, turning his gaze from Nick’s giant television to glance over at him.
“Yeah. How do I look?” Nick smoothed his shirt and made sure all the buttons were in place before looking up at his best friend.
Chris fought to not laugh. “Nick, you sound like a woman. Next thing I know, you’ll be asking me if you look fat in that. Don’t you dare,” he added threateningly.
“Relax. Just tell me if this is good for dinner and maybe a movie or hitting a club,” Nick said impatiently. If he didn’t leave in the next two minutes, he was going to be late, which was not the best way to start off a first date.
Chris looked him up and down then nodded. “You look good. So you’re letting her decide if you do anything after dinner? You’re not just gonna automatically give her the Nick Carter special?” he asked, wiggling his brows suggestively.
“Screw you,” he replied, reaching for the doorknob.
“Have fun.”
“Don’t burn my house down.”
“I won’t. You’re gonna be late.”
The door shut.
***
“You’re late.”
Nick winced and held out the cheerful daisies out as a peace offering. “I got you flowers. They’re not roses,” he added weakly.
Liz stared from the daisies to his face. She tried not to laugh at the terrified expression in his eyes. Although it was definitely a very powerful feeling to know that she had the famous Nick Carter practically shaking.
She reached out and took the flowers before opening the door wider and letting him in. “Thanks. Good to know you can listen. I’m just going to put these in water,” she called over her shoulder as she disappeared into her kitchen.
Nick breathed a small sigh of relief. He’d been fifteen minutes late, and then trying to find a parking space near her apartment building had taken another ten. The result was that he was nearly a half-hour late, which meant they’d be lucky if his reservation at one of the trendiest restaurants on Sunset was still standing. If it wasn’t, Liz was probably never going to want to see him again.
Swallowing nervously, he looked over as a pretty, ginger-colored cat gracefully swept into the room followed by Liz, who was carrying the vase of daisies. She set them down on the coffee table in her living room then turned to him.
Now that he was over the initial terror of being late, he decided he could truly appreciate the way she looked. Though nowhere near what any of his former dates had ever worn, her outfit consisted of a black top that swept to mid-thigh and was decorated with tiny flowers around the neckline that showcased the subtle swell of her breasts. Beneath the pure white pants, her feet were encased in black moccasins. Her hair fell straight past her shoulders, and her bangs framed gray eyes that were watching him expectantly.
“Well?” She held her arms out to the side. “What do you think? Do I measure up to your celebrity standards?”
Crossing the room, he took her hand in his and smiled at the look on her face. “You’re perfect. Better than perfect. You terrify me.”
Her look turned to one of confusion. “Terrify you? How on earth is that possible?”
“Maybe, once we get in the car, I’ll tell you,” he replied, tugging her out the door.
Once they were in his car, heading towards the Hollywood hills, Liz turned to him. “Is your dinner reservation going to work out now that we’re nearly an hour late?”
“Uh…” He hadn’t expected her to think of that but realized he should have. She was far more intelligent than the other women he’d dated and more intuitive, too. He sighed. “I don’t know. Honestly, I’d like to think they would wait on me because of who I am, but I’m not so popular that they would. Sorry,” he added. “I wanted to make a good impression, but I guess this date’s a bust.”
Liz studied his face as he drove. He looked so downhearted, and his voice had been shadowed with sorrow and doubt—in himself as much as in the reservation. He was so cute when he was sad, she decided and felt the need to cuddle him. Instead, she laid her hand over his on the gearshift. “Pull over.”
“What?” Nick couldn’t believe it. Did she want to get out and leave him altogether now that he’d ruined everything? Had he screwed up that badly? Then again, he remembered how hesitant she’d been in agreeing to have dinner with him. She was probably relieved, he thought, that she had a way out of the date. He slid his gaze sideways to meet her eyes. “Are you sure?”
When she nodded, he knew he had no choice but to listen. At the next light, he turned right and parked in a tiny lot. And waited for her to get out.
His heart gave one joyful leap when she kept her hand on his and asked, “Can I drive?”
“Seriously?” He hoped she didn’t want to drive herself back home, but he was completely unsure of his footing with this woman.
Liz saw the look on his face and squeezed his hand. “Relax, Nick. I’m not ditching you. I told you I’d go out with you, and I’m going to finish this night out. So, can I drive?”
“Where?”
“I know a place. I think you’ll like it better than whatever snooty place you were about to take me to,” she said with a smile and pushed open her door. “So switch places.”
Horribly anxious, he did as she asked and watched as she turned the car on again. “Don’t hurt my baby.”
She rolled her eyes. “Hello. I’ve been driving for years, Nick. Relax. Besides, I like my Jag more than I like your BMW.”
“You have a Jag?” He’d loved his own Jag before he’d sold it years ago.
“You don’t think I can handle one?”
He shook his head. “Uh-uh. I think you can handle it all. What kind of Jag?”
“A gorgeous black Coupe.” Liz studied the upcoming intersection before switching lanes and heading into the left turn. “It handles amazingly and practically purrs. I don’t hear this car purring, Nick.”
He grinned. “I used to have one of the convertibles before I got this one. I thought it was time to grow up, but, you’re right, it doesn’t purr.” He looked out the window to see where they were and found that they were nearing Anaheim. The homes were more middle-class, while the area was quieter. “Where are we going?”
“A place I know,” she replied, turning them onto a smaller, tree-lined road. “We’re almost there.”
Five minutes later, they pulled into a parking lot next to a row of cabin-like structures. There were plenty of cars in the lot, and Nick could see people milling around both in and outside the buildings.
“What is this place?”
Liz slid out of the car and waited for him before starting towards the last building. A small sign was lit over the door and simply read “Arianae’s”.
“It’s one of the best places to eat Greek food in the entire state of California,” she told him as she pulled open the door. “I come here every week at least once.”
“Wow.” Nick stepped in and, after a moment, realized that no one was going to direct them to a table. Picking a booth towards the back, he took Liz’s hand in his and started to walk back when they were interrupted by a shout from behind the counter.
A tall, dark-haired man in his late twenties grinned at Liz. “Look who finally decided to show up. It’s been six days, and Mama and I were just saying we were wondering where Lizzie had disappeared to.” His voice held a slight trace of accent, but his dark eyes twinkled as Liz stepped up to the counter. “And, look, she’s all pretty tonight, too.” Those eyes flicked over to Nick briefly. “Got a big date, carina?”
Liz grinned back and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Dorian, it’s only been six days. It hasn’t been eternity. How are things?”
“Things are good, now that you’re here.” He tugged on her hair playfully. “So, why so dressed up?”
“I’ve got a date, like you said.” She gestured Nick closer. “Nick, this is Dorian. His family owns this restaurant. Dorian, this is Nick. My date.”
Nick shook Dorian’s outstretched hand. “How’s it going?”
“It goes pretty well,” the other man replied. “So long as you don’t hurt my girl.”
“Uh, I don’t think he will,” Liz said with a laugh. “Can I borrow a menu? We’ll be in the back.”
Dorian pulled one out for her, and she tugged Nick back towards the booth they’d been heading towards.
“So, the people here are like family to you?” Nick asked once they’d settled in.
She pushed the menu towards him. “Pick what you want. And, yes,” she added, “they’re very much family. Dorian’s mother is my mother’s stepsister.”
“Cool.” He scanned the menu then looked up at her with a sheepish smile. “Help? You come here all the time, right? Tell me what’s good.”
“Everything’s good.” Dorian made his way to their table with a notepad. “For you, Lizzie, I’m taking the order personally.”
She smiled up at him, and Nick couldn’t help but wish she’d smile at him like that. “Thanks, Dorian. And we’ll both have my regular.”
“It’s good, right?” Nick asked in a small voice.
“If I cook it, it’s good,” Dorian replied matter-of-factly. “It’ll be out in a few minutes. I’ll see you, carina.” He brushed his fingers over Liz’s hair and strode towards the kitchen.
Nick watched him go before turning to his date. “He wasn’t serious about kicking my ass, was he, if I do something wrong?”
“Nick, don’t be silly. Dorian’s as harmless as they come.” Liz stretched her legs out so they rested on the opposite bench of the booth, next to Nick. “God, I’m so exhausted.”
“Long day?”
She shut her eyes briefly. “The longest. Being Autumn’s agent is great, but the other two clients I have are so much work. They have potential, and that’s the only reason I took them on.”
Nick tried to resist but ended up stroking his fingers over the part of her ankle that lay bare. “Are they actors, too?”
“I’d tell you to stop, but that feels nice,” Liz replied after a moment. “Add pressure. And, no, they’re not both actors. One is a singer. He does folksy music. Plays the guitar, harmonica, banjo, and even has one of those contraptions that lets you play the guitar, cymbals, and harmonica at the same time. His problem is drive. He doesn’t have the amount of ambition that’s required to truly make it.”
“Is he any good?” Nick slid her shoe off and pressed the heel of his hand into the arch of her foot. The sound she made had him grinning.
“Uh…What did you say?” she finally asked after a few moments.
“The singer you rep, is he any good?” he repeated.
“Oh, yeah. He’s great, but, like I said, not enough drive.” She pulled her foot away from him and waited until he slid her shoe back on. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
For a moment, they both just studied each other.
“This is good,” Liz finally said.
Nick smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s good.”
The night had gone better than he could’ve ever planned, Nick thought as he followed Liz down the hallway towards her apartment. The food had been great, and, despite his initial hesitation, he’d liked the stuffed grape leaves Liz had insisted he try. Arianae’s had definitely been better than the restaurant that he’d planned on taking her to, and he was going to tell everyone he knew about it. It was the least he could do after Dorian had promised not to kick his ass when he’d seen Liz enjoying herself.
After dinner, to his surprise, Liz had dragged him to one of the other buildings in the complex, which he’d discovered was an arcade. It was practically unbelievable to him that there was a woman who truly enjoyed a good arcade, but Liz proved him wrong. She’d beaten his ass in just about every game they’d played, and she’d done the cutest victory dances, too. For the first time in a long while, he’d enjoyed himself on a date without feeling that he needed to be somebody he wasn’t.
“So, are you going to tell me why you were terrified of me earlier?” Liz stopped in front of her door, unlocked it, then turned back to aim a questioning look at him.
Nick blinked. “When did I say…oh.” He shuffled his feet, embarrassed. “It’s just that you, well, you’re about the most normal woman I’ve ever gone out with, and I had no idea what I was doing tonight. I was late, and that look you gave me was scary. On top of that, I lost the reservation for dinner, and you had to bail me out.”
“But it was good, wasn’t it?”
He nodded. “It was awesome. I really like the place. Plus, I’ve never been to the arcade for a date, or otherwise, with a woman before.” Which made them so much more compatible, too, he couldn’t help but think.
Liz smiled, and it was the smile that he had wished she’d direct towards him. Seeing it, he didn’t let himself hesitate, didn’t let himself think. Cupping her cheek with one hand, he rested the other one around her waist and scooped her close to him. He heard the soft, surprised hitch in her breathing before his lips met hers.
In seconds, the kiss he’d meant to keep light and easy because, God, he thought, she was so sweet, had exploded. It was reckless, fast, and as her teeth nipped at his lip, his arms found the skin beneath her shirt. They were locked together as their mouths plundered each other.
As her fingers slid the first button of his shirt open, much as he hated himself, he stopped them. “Not in the hall,” he whispered against her mouth but kept her close despite it.
Liz leaned back long enough to eye his mussed up hair and the mouth that had been, a moment before, attached to hers. Pulling him close again to press her lips to his, she decided to take a risk and found the doorknob behind her. “Not in the hall,” she repeated against his lips and pushed the door open.
They stumbled back into the apartment still pressed together. Nick kicked the door shut behind him as Liz’s fingers went busy on his buttons again. When his hand brushed over her breast, she moaned, and he got busy trying to get her top off.
“Which way to your room?” he gasped, pressing her back against a wall to hitch her legs around his waist.
“Liz? Nick?”
As if a cold bucket of water had been dumped on them, they sprang apart like children guilty of stealing cookies out of the jar. Autumn stood next to one of the couches and watched them, her jaw dropped in shock. Despite the fact that she looked as though she’d been crying with her eyes swollen and tears drying on her cheeks, the look of surprise on her face had Liz taking an embarrassed step away from Nick.
“Autumn, what are you doing here?”
Autumn stared at the two of them for a few seconds before bursting into tears. Liz was at her side in an instant, leaving Nick to watch them uncomfortably.
“What’s happened? Is everything okay?” Liz pulled Autumn onto the sofa and put her arms around her weeping friend.
Where could she start? Autumn wondered. She felt terrible at having interrupted their night, although she hadn’t even had a clue that they were going to be having a “night”. It didn’t matter, though, because it had been a week since she’d broken things off with Jack, and, she couldn’t help it, she missed the asshole. She hated crying over him, but she’d kept the urge to cry in check through the week. After all, people in New York’s studios would have wondered what was wrong with her if she’d started bawling in the middle of Regis and Kelly or The View.
Now, she was back on the west coast, and she’d needed her best friend. Instead of driving home to relieve Sherrie of babysitting duties and seeing to her baby, Autumn had driven straight over to Liz’s apartment…only to find an empty apartment. So, the dam had burst, and she’d wept until she’d felt like she was wrung out.
After seeing Nick and Liz—which was a shocker, first off—wrapped around each other and practically steaming with it, she’d found herself confused and stunned and mixed with the emotional rollercoaster she’d been on, she’d been unable to do much more than burst into tears.
“Autumn, tell me what’s happened,” Liz spoke gently, hoping everything was okay.
Autumn sniffled and took the tissue Liz passed her. “It’s been a week.” She mopped at her tears. “It’s been a week since Jack left, and I can’t help but feel so heartbroken. I know he’s a jerk, a bastard, an asshole, but I loved him. God, maybe I still love him. I don’t know, but it hurts.” She pressed a hand over her heart. “It hurts so much,” she whispered.
Liz’s hold tightened as she leaned her head against Autumn’s. “You loved him, and he’s gone. It’s supposed to hurt, Autumn. I wish I could stop it for you, but you have to ride out the pain. If it helps, we can make a giant punching bag and put his picture on it, so you can kick it. That way, you can cause him the same pain he’s giving you.”
“Good suggestion,” Nick muttered and had Autumn’s head snapping up to look at him with embarrassment in her widened eyes.
“Nick. Oh, jeez. I, uh, I didn’t realize you were still here.” She tried to wipe the tears away and managed a small smile. “Sorry, I wrecked your, uh, your date.”
He shook his head and smiled sympathetically, even though he was very, very uncomfortable with all the tears. Despite having three sisters, he still didn’t know what to do around female waterworks. “It’s okay. I hope you feel better. Not having that jerk around is going to be better for you. Anyway, I should get going.” His eyes met Liz’s. “Thanks for tonight.”
She nodded. “I’ll call you?”
“Or I’ll call you,” he agreed. “Have a good night.”
When he was gone, Autumn sniffled back more tears and turned to Liz. “So, why didn’t you tell me you were going out with Nick Carter?”
“Uh, because you weren’t here?” Liz tried, managing a small smile.
Autumn rolled her eyes. “Please. You called me everyday this week, but, not once did you tell me. Why?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I just figured it was a one-shot deal, you know?” She waited until Autumn nodded slightly. “When he showed up late, I was sure it was only going to be a one-time thing, but then…”
Autumn recalled the scene she’d just witnessed. “Yeah.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Autumn.” Liz frowned down at her hands. “I was expecting not to enjoy being around him, but he’s a great guy. I’m not going to let myself get screwed over, though,” she added quickly. “I mean, I know his reputation and everything, and I’m always going to be on guard-”
“Lizzie.” Autumn laid her hand on Liz’s shoulder and squeezed comfortingly. “Did you have fun? Does Nick make you happy?”
Liz shut her eyes. “Yes. Yes to both.” She opened her eyes and met Autumn’s. “What am I going to do?”
Autumn smiled. Though she wasn’t sure how she felt about Liz and Nick dating, she could see that her best friend was happy. At the end of the day, that’s what mattered.
“You’re going to call him and go out again. Who knows?” she added with a mischievous grin. “Maybe Nick Carter is your Prince Charming.”
Author's Notes:
OMG! Guess what's back?! That's right! Proving Them Wrong is back, and I do believe you're in for a surprise. Like I said before, this story is about to undergo some dramatic changes...So enjoy, fellow readers (and don't forget to review!) Thanks for reading it!
Six weeks later
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Greenly. I know it’s really early, but I’m so glad you could take Lily.” Autumn deposited her sleeping daughter on one of the couches in her elderly neighbor’s home. At six in the morning.
“It’s not a problem, dear.” Mrs. Greenly, the trademark grandmotherly type woman, fussed around the baby, tucking a blanket around her and brushing the dark curls off of Lily’s forehead. She’d volunteered to babysit Autumn’s daughter when the baby had been three months old and was the only one outside of Autumn’s closest friends who knew that Lily existed. And Autumn couldn’t be more grateful that the woman was so accommodating and kept the secret.
Autumn hugged the older woman and headed back to her house, two homes over. She couldn’t believe the things she had to do for friendship. At the crack of dawn, she was about to go grocery shopping with Nick and Liz, who’d begged her to come along. They were adamant about keeping their fledgling relationship quiet and used Autumn as a cover. After all, Nick and Autumn were rumored to be dating, and the latest pictures in tabloids supported those rumors. The fact that Liz was in every picture with them did nothing to detract from the media’s frenzy over the idea that the silver screen’s newest darling was dating a washed up Backstreet Boy and new reality television star.
But Liz was happy with Nick, and that alone quelled any complaints Autumn may have had. They’d been dating for over a month, and it was the first time in the nearly seven years Autumn had known Liz that Liz seemed truly happy with a man. The hearts that seemed to float above her head were evidence to the fact. And Nick seemed equally thrilled to be with Liz.
Liz and Nick had spent Christmas together, and New Year’s Eve had been a smoochfest between the two of them. If it made her want to gag seeing them sometimes, the feeling disappeared whenever Autumn saw her best friend’s face. And, despite the fact that he was taking over Liz’s time and thoughts, Autumn couldn’t deny that Nick was fun to be around, too. So they were all a big, happy family.
When the car horn beeped outside, Autumn grabbed her wallet and locked up. If it wasn’t for the fact that she needed to get groceries anyway, she would’ve managed to find some way to get out of going. Unfortunately, or fortunately—depending on how you looked at it—her star had risen to the point where she had to be careful in her quiet neighborhood, too. Paparazzi were beginning to swarm her in shopping malls, restaurants, and it was no longer safe for her to take Lily outside with her. So it was probably better all around that she was going to go grocery shopping at the crack of dawn. The less people around, the better.
“What took you so long?” Nick complained from the driver’s seat when Autumn slid into the back of his car.
She shot him a dirty look. “Some of us don’t live in gated communities, Nick. We have to lock up our homes.”
“Whatever.”
Liz turned around in the passenger seat to shoot Autumn a sympathetic look. “Don’t mind him, Autumn. He’s just cranky this early in the morning.”
“It’s not that early,” Autumn replied. “After all, I’m sure he’s had to get up much earlier for his work.”
“Well, yeah. But he’s on a break right now from the heavier traveling and recording sessions,” Liz replied. “So it’s just a little more difficult to drag him out, you know.”
“Can you quit talking about me like I’m not here?” Nick asked irritably as he turned into the shopping mall’s parking lot.
Liz patted his hand on the gearshift. “It’s okay, Nick. Once you’ve got food in you and your refrigerator, you’ll feel much better.”
He looked over at her, ready with a snide remark, but his mood changed when he saw her smiling face. He didn’t know what it was about her that made him so much happier when she was around. She had become his little ray of sunshine in the midst of a professional cloud he carried over him constantly. Whenever he was pissed that Brian or Howie had scheduled something that made them miss recording or whenever his siblings irritated him to his wits’ end, he knew that, if he called Liz, just hearing her voice would cheer him up. She was his new best friend—a fact that had annoyed Chris, until he’d met her.
It had only been six weeks, he thought as he parked the car, but he could see himself with her for a long time. Maybe even forever.
“Thanks,” he murmured, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her lips. He ignored Autumn’s resigned sigh as she got out of the car.
Liz leaned back and grinned. “Any time, Nicky. Let’s get you food.”
They got two carts, one for Nick and one for Autumn. And, though they didn’t touch each other, Liz stayed at Nick’s side as they negotiated their way through the various aisles of the supermarket. Occasionally, Nick would pick up a food item, Liz would moan about how bad it was for him, he’d put it back, they’d continue on…and the cycle would begin again. Autumn was deathly glad she’d never been like that with Jack.
“Oh, wait,” she muttered to herself as the lovebirds argued over Liz’s suggestion of oatmeal as a healthy breakfast food. “Jack was never around long enough to go grocery shopping with me. Duh.” And then she wanted to kick herself for thinking of him.
When a young woman headed their way in the aisle and gave Liz and Nick a strange look, Autumn noted the look of recognition in her eyes and sighed. She leaned over and covered Nick’s hand with hers.
“Baby,” she began, squeezing his fingers. “Please don’t argue. We’re trying to be normal here, remember?” She widened her eyes and moved them sideways to indicate that there was someone watching.
After a moment of confusion, he nodded. “Right. You’re right.” Nick tugged playfully on one of her dark curls that had popped loose from under her hat. “I’ll take the oatmeal.”
“Great.” Autumn sighed as the woman smiled at them and continued on. Once she was gone, Autumn tugged her hand away from Nick’s and glared at the couple. “Seriously, guys. It’s six-thirty in the morning, and you’re making enough racket to wake the dead. I’d rather finish my grocery shopping without being attacked by a reporter, thanks all the same.”
Liz smiled apologetically. “Sorry. We’ll be better now. I promise.”
“Good, great.” Autumn sighed again. “Listen, I’m going to head over to the magazine and book section. There’s a book that just came out that I really want. Will you two behave while I’m gone?”
Nick shuffled his feet at her tone of voice but nodded. “Yeah. We’ll catch up with you at the ice cream section. Is that okay?”
“Sure.” She pushed her cart off and shook her head. The two of them were older than she was, and yet, they squabbled like they were two years old sometimes.
Of course, she thought wryly, if they weren’t arguing, then they were making up and making out. She might have been happy that they made each other happy, but she didn’t have to like watching them play tonsil hockey.
Autumn found the book section and picked her copy of the newest bestseller out. As she dropped it into the cart, her gaze was drawn towards a tabloid with her face on the cover. It was still weird to see herself on magazines, even though she should’ve been used to it by now. Sometimes, the pictures were grainy, and other times, they were so clear that she could see the pesky acne that still occasionally popped up on her face.
And the stories, she thought. Some of those stories were ridiculous. Although, lately, most of them were about how she and Nick had done this or gone there. How Nick was in love with her and had been spotted in a jewelry store, poring over the engagement ring selections. The best had been the one where they’d played with her picture to make it look as though she were pregnant and then claimed that she was pregnant with Nick’s baby. It was hard not to laugh at those stories, and she and Nick often did.
Before he went to go make out with Liz, of course.
Her eyes drifted from the first tabloid to the next. And the small smile on her face froze.
Five minutes later, Nick and Liz found her standing in front of the magazine racks, her eyes glued to it. Her face was deathly pale.
“Hey, we decided not to meet you at the ice cream section,” Nick announced. “Liz won’t let me get ice cream, so we figured we’d catch you here.”
“Ice cream’s bad for you, Nick,” Liz chided before turning to Autumn. “Hey, did you find your book?” When there was no reply, she frowned and put a hand on Autumn’s shoulder. “Autumn? You ready to go?” She looked from Autumn’s pale face to the magazines. “Sweetie, you shouldn’t read those. You know they make you out to be a monster to sell their papers. Come on, Autumn.” She tried to tug the younger woman away, but Autumn was frozen in place.
“Liz. Look.” Her voice was a shaky whisper as she pointed a trembling finger at the rack.
“Autumn. No. You don’t need to…Oh, my god.” Liz stared, horrified at the headlines that splashed across several of the magazines.
Nick, now bored and impatient, stepped over to the two women. “Ladies, do you mind? I’ve got to be at the studio in an hour and a half, so it would be great if I could get home. Soon.” When they didn’t respond, he followed their stunned gazes to the words gracing the covers of the tabloids.
At first, they didn’t register. When they did, his brows shot up, and he turned to look at the two women.
“What the hell is this?” His voice was quiet but conveyed his anger well.
Autumn swallowed. Hard. Summoning up her voice, she turned to look at Nick. “It’s true. What they say is true, Nick. I’m so sorry.”
He wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the papers.
Autumn Evans Has Daughter with Her Twin’s Fiancé, one read.
Another one simply stated, Autumn Steals Sister’s Man! Exclusive Interview Inside!
The last, and most painful, Autumn thought, showed a crystal-clear picture of her with Lily in their front yard. They were playing, and mother and daughter grinned at each other. Their grins were identical. The headline read, Perfect Mother? Or World’s Best Cheat? Imminent Oscar-Nominee Caught in a Tangled Web of Lies, Deceit, and Fraud. What Will Nick Say?
Afraid of what he would say, she couldn’t look at him. When Liz touched his arm, he yanked it away and shoved his cart down the aisle. As her best friend’s breath hitched with shaken sobs that she tried to control, Autumn put her arms around Liz, and they leaned against each other.
The road to hell, she thought dimly, was paved with good intentions. And wasn’t she the best example?
Author's Notes:
Whoo! Well, the site let me log in momentarily, so I'll post the chapter I JUST finished. I've gotta tell ya, I'm hitting major writer's block on this tale. But it's coming, bit by bit...Don't worry! Enjoy!
She was surprised he hadn’t tossed them out on the side of the road. He was certainly angry enough, and she could tell from the set of his jaw and the way his brows were scrunched together. His eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, but the hands on the steering wheel clenched and unclenched, often turning his knuckles white. He hadn’t said a single word to them after he’d walked away from them in the grocery store.
When she’d expected him to snarl and refuse to drive them back home, he’d surprised them by putting her things—okay, slamming her things—into his car’s trunk. She hoped that her eggs hadn’t broken, but, under the circumstances, she didn’t think it was something she should really worry about.
Liz sat next to her in the backseat and kept shooting Nick’s face worried glances. The mascara that had run off with her initial tears had dried on her cheeks. Autumn vaguely mused that Liz looked a little like Morticia Adams, but she thought it best to keep that thought to herself for the moment. She should focus on the important things. Like how all the nightmares of her past were now in the public eye. How her life had turned upside down overnight. How nothing was going to be quite so simple anymore.
Right.
When Liz’s cell phone beeped, all three of them jolted because the terse silence in the car had been finally broken.
Watching Nick’s face carefully, Liz picked up. “Hello?” Then, after a brief silence, “Oh, God. How bad is it?” Her hand reached for Autumn’s and clung tightly as she squeezed her eyes shut.
Autumn figured it had to be one of her publicists and wondered how bad things would be for the next long while. How had the papers found out about Lily, Summer, and Kyle? Who had that exclusive interviewee been? And, please God, what was going to happen to her and Lily?
“Hey.”
Her eyes shot up to meet Nick’s in the rearview mirror. “Yeah?” she asked tentatively.
“Do you have a back way onto your street? Some way that we could reach your house?”
Her eyes shifted to stare at the crowd gathered at the corner of her block and gasped. “No.” The word was a horrified whisper as she stared at the camera crews, reporters, photographers, and anyone else who had wanted to catch a glimpse of the famous—rather, infamous—Autumn Evans.
“This is why you need to get yourself into a gated community,” Nick said quietly and turned left just before her block. “Where to, Rags?”
“Keep going this way and turn onto the first street on your right,” she replied, her voice shaking a little. “Rags?” she asked after a moment.
His eyes flicked to hers in the rearview mirror again. “Rags to riches to rags again. I bet that’s how you’re feeling.”
“Tell them ‘no comment,’” Liz’s voice interrupted them as she snapped into the phone before biting her lip. “Sorry, Sherrie. It’s just that there’s a ton of paparazzi outside on her street. I don’t know how we’re going to get her into her house safely. On top of that, Lily’s at a neighbor’s house. We need to get her back to Autumn’s safely, too. I don’t think the cops are going to do anything unless it turns into a fire hazard.”
Nick tried not to listen, really, he did. He didn’t want to care anymore. He was tired of being lied to and kept in the dark. Just when he thought he’d found people that he could care about, who wouldn’t lie to him, they’d done just that. What the hell was he supposed to do now? he wondered. His usual MO at this point would be to turn away, tune them out, leave them alone. Never speak to them again.
He looked at Liz then met Autumn’s quietly shattered eyes again. No, he couldn’t just turn away. But he wouldn’t let them off that easily either.
“You can park here.” Autumn pointed to the empty driveway on their right. “No one’s living in this house at the moment, and the backyard connects to mine. I have the key to the gate.” She laid a hand on his shoulder lightly. “Thank you.”
Nick shrugged it off. “Don’t mention it. Seriously.” He turned off the engine and slammed out of the car.
Autumn followed him to the trunk, leaving Liz to finish up the phone call. “Nick, don’t be mad at her. Please don’t be mad at Liz. She didn’t tell you because I’d asked her not to tell anyone.”
He said nothing and continued to unload her groceries. It was understandable for him to be mad, she told herself. Hell, she was surprised he’d actually bothered to unload her stuff from the car. When he picked up several of her bags and began to walk towards the back of the house, she was stunned for a moment. Then, she grabbed the rest of her bags and rushed after him.
“What are you doing?” She caught up to him as he stood in front of the locked gate and stared.
He spared her a glance before turning back to the gate. “It’s locked. Where’s the key?”
“Oh.” Balancing her things, she dug out her key ring and riffled through it before shoving one of the keys into the lock. “Here we go.”
They stepped into her postage stamp backyard, which was currently home to a kiddie wading pool and a porch swing. That wasn’t new, Autumn thought. What was new was the sounds of people coming from the front of her house. She could hear her doorbell ringing incessantly and stopped where she was.
Nick kept trudging towards her back door but stopped when he noticed she wasn’t with him. “Well, for Christ’s sake,” he muttered and turned to see what she was doing.
He decided a guy would have to have a stone as a heart if he could ignore the way she stood, staring at her home, tears slipping and sliding down her cheeks. Nick Carter did not, contrary to popular belief, have a stone heart nor was it a selfish one.
Setting what he carried by the back door, he moved back to her and sliding one arm around her shoulders, tucked the other under her knees and swept her up in one fluid motion. She blinked in surprise before her arms came around him, tight, and she buried her face against his neck. As he carried her towards the house, he could feel her hot tears against his skin and tried to steel himself against it. Really, he did try.
“Where are your keys?” he asked when they stood in front of the locked back door.
Lifting her face, she sniffled. “It’s always unlocked. Nick, I-”
He pushed open the door, cutting off her words. Walking straight to the couch in the den, he deposited her on it and, grabbing the throw from the back of the sofa, he tucked it around her.
“Just stay.”
And he whirled around and disappeared out the door. He was back seconds later, carrying her bags, and Liz followed him in with the rest. She gave Autumn a questioning look before she went to put the groceries in the kitchen. Not knowing what to do and feeling the beginning of a headache forming from the incessant ringing of the doorbell, Autumn pulled the throw over her head and curled into a ball.
In the kitchen, Liz wrung her hands, mentally, and wondered what to say to Nick. Should she apologize, should she yell at how stubborn he was being, or…what? She couldn’t blame him for being cold and stiff around them. After all, they’d taken great pains to keep him from finding out about Lily. But that wasn’t her fault, was it? Autumn had insisted on it because she wanted to protect her daughter. Not that Nick was a great danger to the baby…Then again, from the look on his face, maybe he was.
“Nick, you’ve got to understand why we didn’t tell you,” she began, but whatever she’d been about to say fell away as he glared at her and went back into the den. Nervous about what he’d do, she hurried after him.
Nick stood in front of the couch and studied the way Autumn had curled herself into the fetal position, and part of him felt sorry for her. He’d been through the media wringer more times than he could count, and now it was her turn. But, somehow, the anger still hadn’t burned out of him yet.
“Do you have a screwdriver and pliers?” he asked and nearly tapped his foot waiting for the answer.
She pulled the covers down enough to look at him with wide, wet, questioning eyes. “I-uh. Yeah. Laundry room, top shelf on the left. Why?”
He didn’t answer, but, when he came back with the tools and went out to the foyer, she scrambled off the couch and followed him. She slid to a stop next to Liz, and they watched as he unscrewed the lid to the mechanism that worked the doorbell.
“What are you doing?” Autumn asked quietly, sneaking glances at the windows in the living room and next to the door. Thank God, she thought. At least she hadn’t pulled the drapes open yet.
Nick didn’t spare them a glance as he focused on the task at hand. “Taking the doorbell off its hinges. It’s killing my brain cells.”
“H-how did you learn to do that?” Liz wondered.
“Experience.”
Autumn found Liz’s hand and squeezed it as they watched him take the pliers and snip wires. Immediately, the ringing stopped, though loud voices could still be heard from the other side of the door.
“They’re not going to break the door down, are they?” Autumn asked in a tiny voice.
Nick screwed the lid back on and turned to her. “No. Not unless they feel like spending time in jail for trespassing.” He set the pliers and screwdriver to the side. “Now. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?”
Author's Notes:
I know, it's been a while since I've updated this story. Fortunately, it's moving into interesting areas of the plot, so there will be more frequent updates! Thanks for reading...and your reviews are fabulous and greatly appreciated!
“Th-the beginning?” Autumn asked tentatively.
Nick nodded and gestured towards the back of the house. “Let’s move away from the front of the house, okay?”
She frowned before remembering, through the anxiety, that there was still considerable noise from the media. “Yes, of course. Uh, Liz…”
“It’s going to be okay, Autumn. Everything’s going to be perfectly fine,” she reassured her friend and shot Nick a warning glance. He lifted a brow and cleared his throat.
“Well?”
Autumn swallowed nervously before she let Liz steer her back towards the den. She didn’t know how to tell the story. Had never had to really retell the story more than once. She wasn’t sure if she’d make it through the ordeal of having to explain everything to Nick. He had a right to know, though. She certainly should’ve told him before now about everything. Hadn’t she already trusted him with so much?
“I’m like those desperate housewife chicks on television. I need to know.”
Remembering his words from a couple months ago, she tried to smile at him when he sat across from her. “You deserved to know all this a long time ago, Nick. I just thought it would be safer if more people didn’t know.”
“Where’s your child, Autumn?”
She bit her lip. “At a neighbor’s. She’s two houses over.” And safer there than here.
“And you don’t think your neighbor’s going to freak out when she sees all the reporters outside your house?” Nick asked.
Liz placed a hand on Autumn’s. “Sweetie, maybe we should get Lily back here. At least Mrs. Greenly won’t have to worry about what’s going on that way.”
“How? How will we get Lily over here? They’ve got the front covered,” Autumn whispered, frantically trying to think of a way to safely move her baby back to her house.
“We’ll figure it out. Call your neighbor, so she knows what’s going on,” Nick said quietly and had Autumn reaching for her phone.
Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the back door. Autumn jumped up and hurried over to open it. Nick simply waited as she spoke to whoever was on the other side and listened to the cheerful babbling of a toddler. He had to admit that, through the anger he felt at being kept in the dark, he was still interested in meeting Autumn’s kid. Funny, he’d never pegged Autumn Evans as the type for the mommy track. Besides, she was a small woman, and it was difficult to imagine her carrying a child for nine months.
His breath caught when Autumn stepped inside carrying the tiny little girl. They were nearly identical, he thought. The child had her mother’s smile, the eyes, and the beginnings of all that wild dark hair Autumn had. Mother and daughter were grinning at each other, but he could see the way Autumn kept running her hands over her daughter, as if to reassure herself that her baby was safe.
She looked over at Nick and studied him warily before approaching him. She knelt next to his chair and turned her daughter to face him. “Nick, this is Lily. Lily, baby, say hi to Nick.”
Lily’s pretty green eyes sparkled up at him as her smile flashed, and Nick found himself smiling back. “Nick,” she said very precisely. “Hi! Nick! Nick, Nick, Nick!”
Autumn set her down and had to smile at the way Lily eagerly scooted her way into Nick’s arms. “Well, she seems to like you. You’re her new favorite word.”
He grinned at the armful of energetic child he held. “I feel flattered. Hi, Lily.”
Autumn stepped back and sat next to Liz again. “Everything’s going to be okay, right?”
“It might just be,” Liz murmured back before her phone rang again. “Sorry, I have to take this.”
“I know.” She tried not to think of how they’d fix such a PR nightmare. “I’m sorry about this, Liz.”
“Don’t apologize. This, none of this, is your fault.”
Even as Liz moved off into the kitchen, Autumn couldn’t help but feel that it was. There were a thousand things she could’ve done to prevent this day from happening, she knew, and so many of those would involve Lily never having been conceived. That, she wasn’t sure she could live with.
“Who’s Lily’s father, Autumn?” Nick watched her carefully as she lifted her gaze from her hands to his face. Her eyes were saddened, and she seemed nearly lost.
“It’s what the magazines said, Nick. My twin sister’s fiancé,” she whispered.
He shook his head. No matter what she said, he couldn’t believe that she would’ve betrayed her sister in the way that the tabs had insinuated. Besides, “You didn’t tell me you had a sister. I thought you were an only child.”
“It’s easier to pretend to be an only child when the only times you’ve seen your sister was when you were so angry with her you couldn’t think straight. Well, that, or the two of you were strangers,” she added. How could she explain that she and Summer had stopped being sisters, let alone twins, the night their parents had died?
He was going to need the whole story, Nick decided. Though Lily had settled into his lap and was pressing the buttons on his locked Sidekick, he leaned forward and met her gaze. “Start at the beginning, Autumn. Whatever that may be.”
Somehow, she found that his direct, unwavering look gave her some measure of courage. He, too, knew what it was to have skeletons in the closet, and she realized that he was willing to listen before passing judgement on her.
“I’m sorry, Nick. Really and truly sorry for not telling you the whole truth before,” she began but was cut off.
“Autumn, I don’t give a damn about what your reasons for not telling me before were. I know about Lily now,” he said quietly, brushing his fingers over the baby’s curls and making her gurgle. “I just want to know what happened in the past to cause all those tabloids to go nuts and why there are so many paparazzi buzzing outside your door. So, please, will you just tell the freaking story?”
“Damn,” Lily enunciated perfectly.
Nick winced. “Sorry.”
“I think I can let that slide as I owed you several.” She sighed. “My parents named us Summer and Autumn, and she’s older than me by three minutes. I guess they named us pretty aptly because Summer was always more hotheaded than I was. We balanced each other out, though, and things were pretty good for the first few years. And then our parents died.”
When the Evans twins were left without their parents, relatives split the twins up and took them in. The day of their parents’ funeral had been the last time Autumn had seen Summer. They’d stood in the cemetery in their identical black dresses as the coffins had been lowered into the ground. Holding onto each other for comfort, they’d wept silently. Three hours later, Autumn had watched her twin head off for Seattle, while she stayed in North Carolina.
Summer had found Autumn in LA on their twentieth birthday. She’d had some story about being kicked out of the house when she was fifteen and having lived on the streets and finally managed to find her long-lost twin. Out of sentiment and the thrill of finding her sister again, Autumn had moved her into the small two bedroom apartment she’d been living in at the time.
Living with Summer had its ups and downs. Though they were physically identical to a T, the twins’ personalities were as different as night and day. Autumn went to auditions and worked as a waitress the rest of the time to pay her bills and the rent. Summer, though, barely worked and borrowed money from Autumn to pay for her addiction to needles and the substances she could inject into herself at an alarming regularity. It had scared the crap out of Autumn the first time she’d seen Summer high, but, thinking that she’d rather Summer was somewhere safe when she was, she’d learned to live with it. And the parties.
The parties that Summer threw pulled in some of the shadiest of LA’s residents and were chock full of alcohol and other more illegal substances, but Autumn had overlooked that, too. At first. When she’d found one of Summer’s guests stealing her jewelry, she’d threatened to throw her twin out. Summer, being conniving, had calmed her sister down and promised not to throw anymore parties.
On one condition.
Summer had met, fallen for, and gotten engaged to a fellow junkie and dealer. He’d been out of a place to live, and Summer had convinced Autumn to allow him to move in. Wary but sure that she’d rather one junkie over the crazies that the bashes had pulled in, she’d agreed and had bought mace. Just in case.
The mace failed her.
Summer and Kyle, her fiancé, convinced her to let them have a party. Nothing big, they promised her. And certainly drugs would be kept to a minimum. So, believing them, she’d agreed to it. When she’d returned home from another day of auditions and aching feet and found the bash in full swing, she’d reminded herself it was what she’d promised them.
Kyle had spotted her on her way to her quiet, off limits bedroom and tugged her back. Handing her a glass of something that she found tasted all right, she’d gotten into the mood quickly enough. She hadn’t noticed the mistake when Kyle had called her Summer nor did she really object to when he pulled her into one of the bedrooms. The objections had gotten stuck in her throat when he’d pushed her onto the bed and proceeded to force himself on her. Her head swimming and limbs feeling too heavy to move, to force him off, she’d been unable to do anything but scream inside her head as Kyle had gone about his business and walked out.
“Whatever he’d given me in that glass had had some sort of poison in it,” Autumn spoke quietly, willing her voice not to break. “That was why I couldn’t move, couldn’t push him off. God, I couldn’t even say anything to stop him.” When her breath hitched, she pressed a hand to her lips in an effort to hold back the sobs.
Nick didn’t know what to say. There were tears on her cheeks, and he wanted to brush them off. Then he wanted to find the bastard who’d hurt her and beat the crap out of him. He wasn’t sure how she’d gotten past something that terrible, but she had. He set Lily, who’d dozed off, on the couch as he shifted to crouch in front of Autumn.
“Did you call the cops?”
She shook her head and swiped at the tears. “No. I couldn’t think straight at all. I was hurt, afraid, and angry. God, was I angry. I scared the shit out of the two of them and my neighbors when I kicked them out.” She gave a half laugh and pressed her palm to her aching head. “I haven’t seen them since.”
“You found out you were pregnant.” He took her hands in his and squeezed comfortingly.
Autumn stared at their joined hands and remembered the emotions she’d felt when she had discovered that she was expecting. “I was terrified. I’d gotten all of the tests for STDs and HIV and whatever else I could think of getting. They all came back negative, except for the pregnancy one.” She shook her head. “First time I’d ever done any sort of sexual anything, and I get pregnant. Not such a great deal when you think about it.”
“But you never once thought of aborting the baby,” Liz reminded her as she came back to sit next to Autumn. “You were insistent that there was a reason you’d gotten pregnant, and you were going to see it through.”
Autumn shut her eyes for a moment. “I’m glad you were there for me, Lizzie. I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
“If you’d listened to me, you wouldn’t have had Lily or Rein of Silence.”
Nick frowned as he listened. “Did you plan on an abortion? Were you pregnant when you auditioned for the film?”
She opened her eyes and found herself looking right into his. “Adoption. I’d planned on adoption, and, yes, I auditioned for the role when I was three months gone. When I got the part, I had to explain to the producers why they needed to wait on filming. They’re the only ones who knew about the pregnancy besides Liz, Sherrie, and Leah.”
“Why did you keep Lily?”
“I began to love her. Instead of the feeling of disgust I’d wanted to feel towards the child that had been made in such a violent way, I fell in love with my baby. She would move around, and, every time I felt that fluttering, I got in deeper. By the seventh month, I realized I couldn’t let her go. And there she is,” she added, gesturing to the sleeping baby. “She’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and I wanted to protect her from the press, the attention.”
Nick let go of her hands and stood. “I get that, but I still wish you’d told me before when we talked about the past. You left out such an important piece of your life, Autumn. But you wanted to keep her safe, and you weren’t sure you could trust me,” he added when he saw both women open their mouths in protest. “I’m glad you could trust me now. Better late than never.”
Autumn gave him a weary smile. “Thank you, Nick. It means a lot that you’d get past your anger with me. That makes one less person to explain everything to.”
Liz placed a hand on her shoulder. “Autumn. Leah and Sherrie found out who leaked the story.”
“Who?”
“It was Summer, Autumn. Kyle OD’d and died last year, but Summer’s alive and kicking. It was your twin.”
“Hell of a story.” AJ leaned back in his chair and studied the burning end of his cigarette. “Tragic and pretty fucking amazing that she’s still sane.”
Nick shook his head. “She’s incredible. I can tell you, if that had happened to me, I wouldn’t have been able to do all the things she’s done since then. Starting with giving birth.”
AJ let out a low whistle. “Dude, you couldn’t get me to push a fricking six pound thing out of any part of my body.” He snubbed out the cigarette and studied Nick’s face in the fading sunlight. “So, what’s the kid like?”
“Beautiful.” Nick squinted at the dying sun he could see from AJ’s patio. “She’s a Xerox copy of her mom, that’s for sure. All these dark curls and big green eyes.” He grinned remembering her babbling. “She can say Nick real well.”
AJ smacked his shoulder. “Man, you’ve got the little ones falling for you, too. Do we have to lock you up? You’re a menace to womankind.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” But he grew silent, thinking of the two days it had been, since news of Autumn’s past had leaked into the headlines.
He’d barely managed to sneak out of her house. Though he’d gone out through the backyard, he’d noticed a few lurking reporters on the street one over from hers. They seemed to be looking for any way to get to Autumn. It seemed that they would do anything to get the inside scoop, to have the story from Autumn first. It made him sad to see someone as genuinely sweet as she was get shoved through such an emotional wringer.
When he’d left her home, she’d been rocking her daughter in her arms, as though she were afraid to let her go. He hadn’t known what more he could do to help her and had been running late for his own meetings. Liz, being the voice of common sense, had told him to go. If the media had discovered he was in the house, too, they’d have more fuel to run on.
His name had been in the press more times in the last two days than it had in the two and a half years since the Paris drama had gone down. Unfortunately, like he had then, he wasn’t exactly excited to be reaping such glory in the media. They were sympathizing with him, claiming that he was off somewhere nursing his broken heart. The broken heart he’d apparently received after discovering exactly how malicious Autumn Evans really was.
Suddenly, in seventy two hours, the woman who’d been nominated for the Oscar for Best Leading Actress in her one and only film was now being dragged through the mud. Summer Evans had done just one interview for People, but other “sources” had come out and claimed that they, too, knew of the terrible things that had transpired between the twins and how truly evil Autumn was to her twin.
Nick wondered how anyone, who knew Autumn, could say such things about her.
For her part, her camp had remained suspiciously silent, and he had to wonder at how much worse their silence looked to the public. He wanted her to deny the tale at the very least, but there had been not one peep in three days.
“What are they doing?” he wondered aloud and had AJ turning a questioning gaze on him.
“What are who doing?”
Nick frowned at the bottle of water he held before answering. “Autumn’s twin has all these interviews lined up, right? Hell, I heard she’s supposed to do some Barbara Walters interview all of a sudden, too. But, the weird part is, Autumn’s people haven’t said a single thing about it. What are they thinking?”
“Aren’t you dating one of ‘Autumn’s people’?” AJ asked. “Why don’t you call Liz up and find out what’s going on?”
Nick lifted a shoulder. “I think Liz and I are at a weird place right now. I mean, I was mad as hell that she hadn’t told me about Lily, either, and I think she thinks that I’m still angry with her.”
“Are you?”
“No.” He sighed. “How could I be mad at her for protecting her best friend? Didn’t we protect you from the public, too, when you were doing your crazy shit? I can’t be mad at her for doing what I’ve done before. I guess, when everything’s more calm, we’ll talk about it.”
“Okay.” AJ nodded. “But, in the meantime, are you really going to let everyone believe that you’re sulking over a broken heart in seclusion? Or are you going to do something?”
“Huh?” He was puzzled. “What am I supposed to do? It’s not my fault that she’s going through all this.”
“You’re right, it’s not. But don’t you think it looks worse that her supposed boyfriend isn’t sticking by her side in all of this?”
Nick found he was at a loss for words. What, exactly, was AJ hinting at? He wasn’t dating Autumn, hadn’t been dating her in the past, either. He’d just used her to be able to be with Liz, and she’d willingly played along. He couldn’t just keep pretending when the press was slamming her, could he? It wasn’t his problem, and he’d be better off staying out of it.
He told AJ just that, and the older man just shook his head and sighed. “Oh, Nick. You’re such a pal.”
AJ stood and sympathetically patted Nick’s shoulder before going back into his home, leaving Nick to sit and brood on his own.
***
Autumn paced the length and width of the room. And then she paced it some more. She was going crazy, she had to admit. And it wasn’t just because of everything that was happening to her public image, either. She’d been stuck inside her home for the last three days because the reporters hadn’t backed off. She wanted fresh air and was desperate for the sunshine. Her tiny backyard was not much help, especially when she’d found a telephoto lens blinking down at her from a helicopter that had hovered high above her home the day before. It also didn’t help that Summer had, apparently, released dozens of statements in the past three days. With every new accusation, the press had grown hungrier.
For better or worse, she was trapped in her house.
When the back door opened and closed, Autumn flew down the stairs and pounced on Liz and Sherrie as they moved into her kitchen.
“Well, what’s happening out there?” she asked, eager for news of any coming respite from her current situation.
Sherrie gestured towards a chair at the table. “Let’s sit down, and we’ll go over a few options we have. As it is, we’ve waited three days too long in silence because we were unsure of how to react or counteract this situation. The damage may be irreparable.”
She felt the color drain from her face and blindly felt her way into a chair. “What do you mean by ‘irreparable’? How bad is it? I mean, I haven’t turned on the television lately, but…”
“The Oscar’s practically out of sight,” Sherrie said quietly. “As it is, your chances were low at best because you are a new face on the screen, but you did have a solid performance. With this scandal, though, the Academy Awards’ committee is basically allowing you to keep the nomination out of sheer generosity. We should probably kiss their feet for doing so.”
Autumn nodded numbly. She remembered the sheer joy that she’d felt at receiving the nomination, along with two Golden Globe nominations, a few weeks ago, and she’d thrown a party for her friends. It had been a silly, tipsily fun time. Now, though, the joy was gone.
“Okay,” she said after several moments. “Okay. No Oscar is not the end of the world. I didn’t really think I’d get it anyway, but it was a nice pipe dream.” She bit her lip nervously. “What about my chances of getting other work? I was supposed to hear back this week from the producers of those two films I auditioned for in November. Do you think…Is that unlikely now?”
Liz squeezed her hand. “Let’s not be too quick to make assumptions, Autumn. It’s only Tuesday morning. You might still hear back from them. However, all that aside, we’ve done a lot of thinking about how to proceed. The first thing is a statement to the public that could help prevent Summer’s accusations and stories from making too big of an impact.”
“On that end, we think that it would be best if you did some sort of televised interview. Leah and I have been speaking with ABC about doing a Primetime interview,” Sherrie explained.
Autumn pressed her fingers to her pounding temples. “That kind of an interview made Britney look worse last year, remember?”
“Yeah, but you won’t show up in bad makeup and looking tattered,” Liz pointed out. “You haven’t had an extravagant media image in the last few months, since you showed up on the scene. You’ll be very demure and sober in the interview. All the details have been worked out with the network.”
“I see,” Autumn said slowly. “So, being quietly dressed and acting very politely, what, exactly, will I do in this interview?”
“Tell the truth,” Sherrie stated simply, her eyes sympathetic as they met Autumn’s. “Everything Summer’s said about you, you have the truth to dispel it. Plus, they’ll shoot plenty of candid shots of you and Lily, so everyone can see that you are a wonderful mother. Look at the way Angelina Jolie’s turned her motherhood into a prideful and well-respected role. If we can let people know that you are just like her, it’ll be one of the many steps in cleaning up the mud that’s been flung at you.”
It made sense, Autumn thought as she mulled it over in her head. She couldn’t really come up with any ideas on what to do, but she would do whatever necessary to make the media hounds leave her doorstep. If it meant baring her soul on national television, she’d do it. As long as it meant she and Lily would be left in peace.
“What else do I have to do?” she asked. “One interview couldn’t possibly fix all of this.”
Liz shook her head. “No, it won’t. We’ve lined up interviews with CBS’s Insider and a couple of magazines, including People. If you could use the same magazine Summer used in a way to rebut her accusations, it’ll be better in the long run. You’re going to go to the People’s Choice tomorrow night and Golden Globe Awards next week. If they ask about what’s been happening, put on a smiling face and tap-dance around the topic by saying something along the lines of what’s in the past should stay in the past and move quickly into how excited you are to be there. It should work.” She paused. “Oh, and Oprah called, too.”
“What?!” Autumn stared, shocked, at her friends. “Oprah? As in, Oprah Winfrey, Oprah? Why on earth would she call me?”
Sherrie smiled grimly. “She’s convinced that there is something behind Summer’s story. That there’s more to it than just you luring your twin’s fiancé into a lurid love triangle. Anyway, she’s interested, and we gave her the go ahead. You’re booked for a taping next week.”
“Oh.” She tried to digest it all and found it a little difficult to do so. “And when is the Primetime taping?”
“Thursday night. Here.” Liz sighed. “Everything’s going to go really fast now, Autumn. Starting tomorrow, you will make your entire life open to the public. Everything you’ve done in the past, every heartbreak and joy, every guy you’ve dated, every job you’ve held—they’ll all be up for public digestion. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have no choice but to go through with it.”
Though her heart was already pounding nervously, she steadied herself and nodded. “Just tell me where to be, and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything it takes to fix this. But, I have one request.”
“What is it?” Sherrie asked, glancing up from the thick schedule that she’d been writing on. “What can we do for you?”
Autumn took a deep breath. Then another one. “I want a meeting with Summer. Just the two of us.”
Author's Notes:
It's a long one, but i hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews!
“Still no definite statement from Autumn Evans’ camp. Summer Evans, on the other hand, has issued another statement today regarding-”
Click.
“Summer claims that it was guilt over-”
Click.
“Her fiancé OD’d because of guilt over-”
Click.
“Nick Carter has had no response to questions about his feelings and relationship with Autumn Evans in light of the news of her past.”
Click.
Nick tossed the remote aside and glared at the blank television screen. Every single channel he flicked to had Autumn all over the place. The ones that didn’t play the story were children’s channels, the Discovery Channel, the Weather Channel, and the Travel Channel. Considering he didn’t much care about kids’ shows, Animal Planet, what the weather was in Kansas, or some multibillion-dollar, centuries-old hotel in the middle of Africa, he was out of possibilities of things to watch.
The phone was currently off the hook as reporters had somehow got hold of his number and kept calling. Recording had been delayed until the press stopped surrounding the studios in hopes of talking to Nick about Autumn. About the only thing he had left to do was twiddle his thumbs and hope that Layla wasn’t out on the front lawn talking to the reporters that had actually bothered to show up at his home.
He asked himself, again, why he simply didn’t just open the door and tell them that he and Autumn had never been dating. Of course, that would just make things harder to explain, and he didn’t think it fair to make her explain what she shouldn’t have been a part of in the first place.
Thinking he’d follow BJ’s lead and cook something—or attempt to cook something without blowing the oven up like the last time—he moved into the kitchen. Giving the buzzing telephone receiver an evil glare, he yanked open the fridge. And froze.
How the hell had he eaten everything in his refrigerator except one egg, a jar of mayonnaise, and milk that was probably souring? He rooted around for bread and found none. His pantry was practically empty, too. How had he not noticed that he was running low on supplies? Hadn’t he just gone grocery shopping the day the Autumn bomb had dropped?
Oh, wait. He’d had Chris over two days before. And Chris had brought, well, everyone he could think of with him. They’d tiptoed around the reporters and snuck in. And the party had raged for a while.
“Well, damn. Now what?”
When his cell phone beeped, Nick grabbed it and flipped it open. “Hello?”
“Nick. I’m glad I reached you somewhere. Did you take the phone off the hook?” He recognized his PR rep, Juliette’s, voice and sighed.
“Yeah. Things got a little crazy with reporters. The company’s working on changing my number,” he told her. “But, you found me. What’s up?”
“You and Autumn Evans.”
“Uh, Juliette? I hate to break it to you, but there is no me and Autumn Evans.”
After a moment of silence, she spoke again. “I see. So when there were all of those pictures of you in the tabloids, you didn’t think it necessary for anyone to know the truth? That I should know what was really happening?”
Nick winced. “Yeah, well, I didn’t really think-”
“That is perfectly obvious. However, the situation is a little complicated now. Your name is coming up more than it has in the last several years.” He could practically hear her tapping her fingers impatiently. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do now?”
“Do?” He swallowed nervously. “I thought I could just keep quiet and it’d blow over. I take it that’s not going to be happening?” he asked in a tiny voice. Much as he adored the woman, Juliette Harris was the only one who scared him down to his toes.
“No, Nick. I received a phone call from Autumn’s PR people, and, after reviewing the situation from all angles, I think it’s best that we take certain steps to help out you and Autumn, image-wise.” She paused. “We’ll be meeting with Autumn and her representatives tomorrow, Thursday, morning at nine. My office. Got it?”
He sighed. “Got it. Thanks, Juliette.”
“Don’t thank me yet. We’re only just getting started. The way Summer Evans has been spouting statements, it’s going to take a good long time to fix it all. Don’t be late, Nick.”
“I won’t.”
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good rest of your day, and don’t talk to reporters.”
He grinned. “Will do. See you tomorrow.”
Hanging up, he glanced around at the kitchen. There wasn’t much he could do about his food issues, he decided as his stomach growled loudly. He scooped his keys off the counter and, after corralling Layla in the house again, hopped in his car.
***
Autumn pressed a hand to her belly where the butterflies were beating their wings frantically. This was it, she thought, staring up at the apartment building. It was now or never, and she couldn’t put this off for too much longer.
She was going to see Summer, and she was going to see her now.
Pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head, she stepped up to the entrance and pressed the button under her sister’s name. She only had an hour to see Summer before returning to her stylist’s salon and getting dressed for the People’s Choice Awards. She’d been nominated for two awards, and she doubted she’d be receiving either of them. The dark cloud looming over her head made it impossible for anything to happen otherwise.
“Hello?” The voice she hadn’t heard in two years crackled over the intercom. Autumn hesitated as memories crashed over her. “Hello? Is anyone there?”
She licked her lips nervously. “Uh, it’s me. Summer, it’s Autumn. I need to come up.”
There was a short silence. Then, “Come right up.”
There was a buzzing noise, and Autumn heard the locks snick open. Pushing through them, she stepped onto a waiting elevator. The building wasn’t new, but it wasn’t falling apart either. It was tastefully decorated, and the kind of place she’d once lived in. Autumn wondered how Summer had managed to afford an apartment in such a place.
When the doors to the seventh floor opened, she stepped off and made her way towards the right apartment. The door was already opening when she reached it, and, for a moment, she stared at the mirror image of herself. Summer’s dark curls were chopped short, and she was no longer as gaunt as she’d once been under the influence of various chemicals. Her eyes were clear and full of dark amusement. Autumn wondered if her sister had somehow cleaned herself up and gotten onto the right track again. Then, Summer spoke, and it was as though two years hadn’t passed.
“Well, if it isn’t my infamous sister. Come on in, Autumn, dear,” she added, in a voice dripping with malice. She held the door open, and, smothering nerves, Autumn stepped into a cozy apartment with neat furnishings. There wasn’t a spot of dust anywhere nor did she smell alcohol or the dregs of smoke. “What do you think of my humble abode, sister dearest?”
Autumn turned to face Summer and noted that there was a gleam of unholy amusement and victory in her eyes. “It’s more than I expected. And I didn’t expect much at all.”
The smile didn’t vanish from Summer’s face. “Why don’t you have a seat? I’d offer you something to drink, but you’d probably suspect me of doctoring it. So, we’ll sit, and you can tell me what brings you by.”
Settling onto a couch, Autumn studied her sister again. No matter what lay between them, this woman was her flesh and blood. They’d spent their first seven years together, and they’d been best friends. Was there nothing of that Summer left? she wondered.
“How are you doing?” she asked, sincerely wanting to know if Summer was truly off the substance abuse.
Summer shrugged and tapped a lethal red nail on the arm of her chair. “I’ve certainly come up in the world. I quit a lot of things after Kyle died. I didn’t want to end up like him, so it was cold-turkey for me.” She studied Autumn. “You’re not here because you care about my personal well-being. You want me to shut my mouth about the past. How does it feel, Autumn, to feel unloved and hunted by the media?”
She was not going to scream or yell, Autumn reminded herself. She’d gone over this with Liz and rehearsed everything she’d say. It was like a role, she told herself. She was going to be calm, cool, and in control. She met Summer’s amused gaze with cool eyes. “I haven’t really cared enough to think about it,” she said now. “I only care about the reasons you have for talking about the past. I want to know why.”
“Because I can. Because you deserved to be knocked off that pedestal of yours. Because you’ve always gotten everything you ever wanted in your life,” Summer stated quietly, anger creeping into her eyes. “I thought it was time that people knew the woman they were applauding for is nothing but a snake.”
Autumn nodded. “Right. I’m the snake for opening my home to you. I’m the snake for tolerating your petty bullshit. I gave you a place to stay, a place for Kyle to stay, and what did you do? Your precious Kyle raped me, Summer. Have you ever experienced something that horrible? Because if you had, you wouldn’t have opened up this can of worms.” She sighed. “I missed my sister, and I wanted to spend time with her. Instead, you gave me more pain than I thought possible.”
“If you missed me so much, Autumn, why didn’t you keep in touch? You never cared enough to call or write in all those years that we were apart. If you’d really missed me, you would’ve looked for me the way I looked for you. But you didn’t.” There was vicious anger in her eyes and voice now.
Well, she hadn’t prepared for this, but she realized that she needed to talk this over with her sister. “I did call, Summer. I called on every birthday. You could’ve called, too, you know.”
“No, actually, I couldn’t. You got the sweet relatives, the caring ones. I got the ones who didn’t see me as anything more than their Christian obligation.”
“Are you telling me that they wouldn’t let you call or write to me?” She couldn’t really believe that, could she?
Summer grimaced. “They wouldn’t let me touch the phone and read everything that I tried to mail. I tried to send you a letter once. They opened it and read all the complaints I had against them. The letter ended up in the fireplace. I never tried to send another one again.”
There was a horrible ache in her heart for the neglected child her sister had been and the misguided woman she’d become. Though she wished she could go back and change the past, the only way to go, Autumn knew, was forward. “I’m sorry, Summer. I’m so sorry about the past. I’m sorry that I didn’t think about you as often as I should have. That I didn’t worry about you. I didn’t know what was going on, and, if I had, I would’ve tried to help. But it’s in the past now. Nothing I can say or do now is going to change what they did to you.” She wanted to reach out and hold Summer’s hand but knew she’d get slapped back for the trouble. “All I wanted was for us to be sisters again, but I know that it’ll be difficult for you to get past the anger and the hatred you have for me. I wish you didn’t because there are still times when I wish we could be like other siblings. I’m sorry about Kyle and sorrier still that I didn’t try to get you two help when you were living with me. There’s nothing I can do about it now.”
“Nothing you want to do,” Summer spat, still angry. “You can take your apologies and shove them, Autumn.”
Horribly tired and feeling hollowed out, Autumn stood. “I came here to ask you to not release anymore statements, but I can see that you’re going to do exactly what you want.”
“Damn straight. We quit being sisters the day we buried Mama and Dad.” Summer, too, stood. “We can’t go back, so there’s no point wishing for what can’t be undone. There’s only moving forward. Revealing your dirty secrets is lucrative.”
“I see.” And she did. Knowing she’d fall apart at any moment, she tried to hold off the sobs. “So you’ve made your choice.”
Summer moved to the door and opened it. “I have. No matter what you do, you can’t stop me. Everyone wants to know what’s hiding in your closet, and I’m more than happy to let them know.”
“It won’t last long.” Autumn lifted her eyes to meet Summer’s. “I intend to make a statement soon, and, once I’ve finished, whatever you think you have left to tell, it won’t make a damn difference. And that is my choice.”
She swept past her sister, heard the door slam, and blindly made her way onto the elevator. It hadn’t made a difference to Summer that she’d come to talk to her, to try to forge some semblance of sisterhood. Whatever there may have once been between them was long gone. She only hoped she hadn’t done anything to cause further damage.
Sliding behind the wheel of her car, she pulled the door shut and glanced around to make certain there weren’t any reporters in sight. When she couldn’t see any, she turned the car on and pulled into traffic. She didn’t look back, didn’t let herself. Nor would she allow the sobs to spill. There were things she needed to do, and she wouldn’t let her shaky emotions get the best of her. The press had already begun chewing on her, and all they needed to swallow her whole and spit her out was a breakdown. So she wouldn’t give it to them. Autumn Evans had talent she fully intended to use, and she had a long way to go in the business.
Summer had been right about one thing. There was only moving forward.
Author's Notes:
First off, I'd like to thank everyone who completely floored me with their responses to the idea that Proving Them Wrong would be ending. I had seriously believed that no one was that interested in it, and, becoming discouraged, I had difficulty writing the story. Seriously, you, the readers, are the ones I count on to tell me if the story sucks or not. I'm usually pretty confident about the way my stories go, but this one is hard to figure my way through, and I rely on your ideas about it.
So, seeing that there are so many people who really do like the story and want more updates, I was inspired. I will continue the story, and, occasionally, ask for your ideas on where you think the story should go next. Take this chapter for example. I'd love it if, when you're done reading it, you could tell me what you think will happen now...
It would be a fantastic help, and, again, I am so grateful that there are so many people who really enjoy Autumn and Nick's story.
And now I'll end the longest note you've probably read from an author!
Thanks and enjoy!
He was late.
Cursing his luck, his coffeemaker, the traffic, and the cars that were parked in the closest spaces to the office building he was headed for, Nick parked in a spot two blocks away and ran. He ignored the looks he got from passersby and tried not to slosh coffee on his hand. The last thing he needed was to burn himself.
He glanced hurriedly at his watch. 9:15. Juliette was going to kill him.
When her assistant showed him into the office, Nick found Juliette behind her desk, and Autumn, Liz, Sherrie, Leah, and a man he’d never seen before all seated. They looked over at him as he entered, and Juliette sent him a scathing look.
“Well,” she began, standing up and moving around her desk to lean against it, “now that we’re all here, why don’t we go ahead and get started. And Nick?”
He gulped. “Yeah?”
“One of these days, I am going to fire you for being so damn late all the time.”
He nodded. At the moment, he knew that speaking would definitely get him killed. So he scrounged up a piece of floor as all the other seats were taken. Stretching out his legs, he glanced over at Autumn as Sherrie and Leah joined Juliette and began to speak. Autumn looked as though she hadn’t slept in days, which was probably true. He knew she’d had to attend the People’s Choice Awards the night before and wondered how her first public appearance since Summer’s interview had gone. However it had gone, she currently looked like hell, and he wanted to send her back to bed with strong sedatives.
“Nick.”
“Huh?” He remembered where he was and looked up to find Liz watching him with narrowed eyes. “Sorry, right here.”
“Are you paying attention at all?” she asked. “Because we just asked if you had any ideas of your own on how you want to proceed with dealing with this situation.”
Oh. “Well…” He glanced at Autumn again. “I think, while I have no particular ideas of my own, I’d be all for anything that will help make Autumn’s life a little easier. It’s been a tough few days, and if I can help relieve some of the pressure, I’ll do it.”
Autumn looked at him with such gratitude that he felt like king of the world. Of course, he was probably worlds away from that title, and he decided he needed to tune in and really listen. But he found himself leaning towards Autumn, who was closest to him, and whispering, “How did last night go?”
She blinked and tore her eyes away from the publicists to look at him. “Uh…I guess it was okay. Considering,” she whispered back.
“Anyone give you a hard time?”
“Some of the reporters were really gracious but some of-”
“Autumn! Nick!” Juliette was ready to chew him out, and Nick knew it. In defense, he held up his hands in surrender.
“I’m sorry! I swear. I was just asking how the People’s Choice went last night,” he defended himself.
Juliette crossed her arms and stared him down. “If you’d been here on time, you would’ve already had the answer to that. And, again, congratulations Autumn on winning an award.”
“Really?” Nick turned back Autumn. “What’d you win?”
Despite the circumstances, she had to smile at the idea of her first award. “People’s Choice New Actress. I can’t believe I still got it!”
“Believe it.” He grinned back. “You deserve it, so why shouldn’t you have gotten it?”
“Thanks. Um.” She faced the waiting publicists. “Sorry, ladies. Go ahead and tell us what your ideas are. Please. We’ll pay attention now. Right, Nick?” She pinched his shoulder.
He held back the yelp and nodded. “Paying attention one hundred percent.”
“Okay.” Leah sighed and began to outline the “situation,” as they were calling it. “The public and the media all see Nick and Autumn as a couple, and, currently, they all believe that Nick is nursing a broken heart upon his discovery of Autumn’s so-called treachery. Nick, you’ve got the sympathy card at the moment—something you haven’t had in a while. Autumn, on the other hand, has some people up in arms, while her fans are sticking to her loyally. However, the loyal fans are a vast minority, and, as you may have noticed, the media is crucifying her with every new statement Summer makes. Autumn, you said that Summer refuses to back down?”
Autumn nodded. “She said, because of her personal agenda, she plans on airing out my closet. She has no intention of stopping.”
“Wait.” Nick held up a hand. “You met with your sister? When? How was it?”
She sighed. “I’d rather not talk about it, but, yes, I met with her yesterday. At her apartment. She’s vindictive and cruel even though she’s off the drugs. She won’t stop until I’m nothing and nobody again.”
Leah shook her head. “You’ll never be nobody again. We’re going to make sure of it. There are several options open to us on how to proceed. Autumn has a taping of Primetime tonight where she’ll make her official statement, and several magazine interviews and the Oprah taping next week.”
“Oprah’s pretty cool,” Nick whispered to Autumn quickly, and she gave him a fast smile.
Juliette picked up where Leah left off. “Before Autumn attends any of those, we need to figure out what Nick’s place in this mess is. Obviously, because Nick didn’t attend the show last night with her, everyone was further led to believe that he may actually be brokenhearted. At this time, we need to decide how Autumn will discuss her relationship with Nick because it will come up. And, no, there is no way to avoid bringing it up without causing more negativity for Autumn,” she added when Nick opened his mouth. He scowled and closed it again.
“So, no matter what we do, Nick and Autumn are still in a relationship?” Liz asked, glancing over at—was he her boyfriend still or were they over? She shook the thought off and focused on the women in charge.
Sherrie smiled grimly. “Like Juliette said, if Nick and Autumn are apparently broken up, people are going to blame Autumn further for hurting yet another person. As we want to avoid any further negative press, Nick and Autumn are together.”
“Then it seems that you guys already made up your minds,” Nick said angrily. “What if I don’t want to be in a relationship with Autumn? No offense,” he added, apologizing to Autumn.
“None taken,” she replied and looked over at her publicists. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea to do this. I don’t want to drag another person into this mess with me.” And she didn’t want to pretend anymore. She was tired of pretending to be with Nick.
Juliette tapped her fingers impatiently on the desk. “Look, maybe you should’ve thought of the consequences before you decided to let the tabloids print all those articles about you two being together. If you’d printed a statement disclaiming it, we could just say that you’re friends at this time. None of this would have been necessary, but you didn’t. So here we are.”
“Look, that wasn’t Autumn’s fault,” Liz began, but Nick cut her off.
“I wanted to keep my private life private. At the time, it didn’t seem like a bad idea. We had no idea something like this would happen,” he added. “If we had a crystal ball that told the future, then I probably wouldn’t have gone along with it. What’s done is done, and I think there has to be a way we can fix this without making up more lies. After all, lies or omissions got us to this point, didn’t they?”
Though it hurt to hear it, Autumn knew it was true. If she’d just been more forthcoming with the truth about her parenthood, about her daughter, and her past, maybe all of this could have been avoided. But she’d kept nearly the entire world in the dark, and Nick had every right to call her fault. She just didn’t know what to do anymore. Her life felt so shaky, so fragile that she was afraid to breathe for fear of breaking. But she couldn’t break. No, she had to be strong and keep going.
“So, Nick and I are still together,” she said quietly, swallowing back the sobs building in her chest. “I’m assuming, once things quiet down, we can call it quits. Until then, you want him to accompany me places and vice versa. We’ll give interviews together and talk about how great the other person is. Do we get to call each other pet names, too?” she asked, a tiny hint of bitterness eking through. “I’ll need a little time to come up with one.”
Leah arched a brow. “The sarcasm is duly noted. I know you’re hurting and tired, Autumn, but we’re trying to help. Let us do our job and help us. The quicker both of you do,” she added, glancing at Nick, “the quicker all of this can blow over. Once Autumn gives her statement including the reason why Summer began her campaign, things should start to calm down. Until then, Nick Carter and Autumn Evans are still together.”
As the pressure built in her chest and she struggled to keep from shaking with nerves, Autumn took deep breaths. The nerves that she’d kept locked up for days were beginning to spill through the cracks. Her heart was pounding, and she needed to get out of the meeting. The walls were becoming too close, and she needed out.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I need some air.” Not waiting for their consent, she leapt up and hurried out the door.
Nick watched her go and couldn’t help but feel anger towards the person who’d caused his life to suddenly be flung into such turmoil. He’d been on a pretty mellow track, career-wise, and had been enjoying doing daily things without the media sniffing him out. Now, suddenly, he was back in the spotlight. And he did feel resentful towards Autumn. So, he thought, the best way to get himself out of this situation was to work with it.
“I’m supposed to be supportive of her during this time, right?” he asked the others. They nodded. “Last week, I was looking for engagement rings for her and was supposed to have proposed to her on New Year’s Eve. Now, I’m sulking in private because she lied to me. Or so everyone thinks.”
Juliette nodded, wondering where he was going with this. But, with Nick, she’d learned it was best to let him talk his way through it, and his idea would emerge. “As far as I know, that’s the word on every tabloid and in entertainment gossip. What are you thinking?”
Nick shut his eyes briefly and wondered how best to say the idea that had just formulated in his mind. It didn’t even sit well with him, and he was sure he’d get shot down. It was worth a shot, though. “I’m thinking that the Backstreet Boys have an album in the works, and my name in the media like this is a fantastic tool. Plus, it’s awards show season, which guarantees that the scandal we’re stuck in is going to grow fangs if we don’t nip it in the bud. Soon. I’m thinking that if I can keep my name in the news until the album is released, it’ll serve many great purposes for others and myself. So, here’s my idea.” He paused before taking the leap. “What if I talked with Autumn about what she’d hid from me, and I decided that I valued my love for her more than anything. So, I did propose to her. We’re getting married. Soon.”
Author's Notes:
Craziness, just pure craziness. I've updated this story like crazy this week LOL. I promised two chapters this week, so here's the second one! I hope you enjoy!
“Are you out of your mind?” Autumn stared at Nick, then past him at her friends. “Have you all completely gone off the deep end?”
Liz shook her head and gave her a sympathetic smile, though her own heart was in tangles over this new development. “Sweetie, we’ve gone over and over the issue. Nothing excites people more than a couple getting married in Hollywood. You and Nick were on your way to becoming a super-couple before this past week, and a wedding would clinch your title at the top. Or as close to it as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will let you get. Plus, it’s bound to divert people’s attention from your past to, well, your future.”
Autumn just stared for a moment before turning back to dusting and straightening up her home. The camera crews from ABC were due to arrive in a few hours, and she wanted them to see that her home was neat and clean. Lily was currently down for a nap, but dressing her up was the next item on her to-do list. If she could show the people who’d be watching that she and Lily were perfect the way they were, that she wasn’t a bad person, that she was a great mom, then she hoped that they’d leave her be. A wedding to Nick, though, was not her preferred choice. It wasn’t even a choice. So, she ignored them.
Nick, however, would not be ignored. “Come on, Autumn. You have to see the logic in this plan.” He touched her arm lightly, and she whipped around to face him, her eyes glittering with anger.
“Don’t try to placate me, Nick. Don’t try to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. This is my life, my career we are dealing with. No one really cares about yours. Don’t you think the only reason anyone even cares about you is because they thought you were dating me? If you’re not, you’ll sink back into anonymity. You just want to further your career and your fame.” She stabbed a finger at his chest. “Well, I am not buying it. I’ll go down in shame if I have to, but I’m not letting you use me to better both of our images. Summer might have sunk to deceit in order to begin this drama, but I refuse to do follow her example. So just drop it.” She looked over at her friends. “All of you. Just leave it alone.”
When she grabbed her cleaning supplies and started out of the room, Sherrie called out to her. “Where are you going?”
“I have things I need to take care of before I let the country into my home,” Autumn called over her shoulder and disappeared.
“Well.” Liz looked at the other three and sighed. “Should we go after her?”
Nick shook his head. He knew the mood Autumn was in, and, if he were her, he wouldn’t listen to the four of them either. “Let me talk to her. If she still says no, then you’ll have to think up another plan. But let me try first.”
“Okay.” Sherrie glanced at her watch. “I need to take care of a few details before tonight’s taping, but I’ll be back later.”
“I’ll go with you,” Leah said and followed Sherrie towards the door.
Liz watched them go and realized that this was the first time in a few days that she and Nick were alone. She wondered what to say to him because they’d yet to discuss the status of their relationship. If there was a relationship. From the look on his face, he seemed to be wondering the same thing. “Nick, I-”
“Liz.” He took her hand and squeezed it. Everything else may have been muddled for him, but how he felt about her was crystal clear. “This whole wedding thing complicates things with us, but I’m willing to marry Autumn and be with you. As weird as that sounds,” he added with a smile.
Her brows shot up in surprise. “Really? You-you’re not breaking things off because of what’s been going on?”
“No.” He tugged her closer and touched his lips to hers in response. “Things with you feel right, and I’m willing to give it a shot if you are. So, what do you say?”
Liz smiled. Any lingering doubts seemed to disappear from her mind. “It’ll be odd if you and Autumn are married, but, well, you mean more to me than I thought you would. So I say okay. Let’s do this.”
“Awesome.” He kissed her again. “And, for the record, no hard feelings about keeping things from me. I understand the need for privacy, and I can’t do anything but respect Autumn’s privacy. And, speaking of Autumn,” he gestured towards the stairs, “I should go talk to her.”
“Yeah.” She kissed him again. “I hope she agrees to this.”
“I’ll try my best,” Nick promised before making his way upstairs to find Autumn.
He felt too tall in the medium-ceilinged second floor hallway. His head practically brushed the ceiling, and, in the narrow hallway, he felt clumsy. Despite the awkwardness he felt, he could still appreciate the pretty décor, the rugs, and the paintings Autumn had decorated the hallway with.
He found her in what he assumed was Lily’s nursery. Her hands were set on the windowsill and her forehead rested on the window overlooking the street outside her home. Though there weren’t as many reporters outside anymore because ABC had laid claims to any images of her home, the street was still busy.
“They’ll see you if you stand there,” he said quietly and stood in the doorway as she turned to face him.
“Nick.” It was more a plea than statement, and he felt bad pressuring her but had no choice.
He stepped into the room and glanced over at the crib where Lily slept. “Autumn, you’re a great mother, and I know you want whatever’s best for Lily. Right now, it isn’t safe for her to even go outside, and that can’t be the kind of world you want her to grow up in. Marrying me isn’t an appealing choice for you, and it’s not exactly first thing on my list either. I’d rather be with Liz than marry you. No offense,” he added.
She managed a small smile. “I understand. And I know you have good reasons for suggesting the idea of a wedding. I just…It’s not exactly the circumstances under which I’d imagined marrying someone.”
“You’re telling me,” he replied. “Look, if we were married, we’d only have to be together in public. We’d already been doing that, so it can’t be much more difficult, can it?”
Autumn sighed. “And where would we live? We’d obviously have to live together, too.”
“I know.” Nick paced the small room. “We’d have to move in together, and it’ll be better for you to move into one of those gated communities. Especially now. It’ll be safer for Lily and you. Reporters won’t be able to walk up to your door or harass you. If we get a big enough house, you won’t have to even see me if you didn’t want to.”
She knew. She knew everything he was saying and had gone over it in her head before any of the current drama had taken place. She certainly had enough money in royalties and from her contract to be able to afford her own place in the secluded Hollywood Hills. She just loved her little slice of the city too much to leave it. But she’d known she couldn’t stay for too much longer.
“How long? Nick, even if we got married, we wouldn’t be married forever. So how long before we have to lie yet again and get a divorce?”
He shrugged. “Six months to a year. Juliette said that we could get a positive spin on it if we separated after nine months and filed for divorce after a while.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and met her eyes. “We’re doing this to help you, Autumn. That’s all this is.”
“Really?” she asked after a moment. “Because, in that explanation you gave downstairs, it sounded like you wouldn’t have thought of putting yourself in the spotlight if it weren’t for the fact that your group’s album is coming out this year. Tell me, Nick,” she began, stepping away from Lily’s crib and towards him, “would you have thought of marrying me if it weren’t for the fact that exposure would help album sales?”
Nick tried to tamp down on the impatience but failed. “Look,” he said through clenched teeth, “if I were in your position, especially in the middle of awards show season, I wouldn’t turn away the best help I could get.”
“The best help, huh? Damn it, Nick! I could do better than this sham marriage.” Autumn pushed her hands through her hair and shook her head. “I don’t see a point in marrying you after I make my statement. It’ll clear things up, and none of this fuss will be necessary.”
“Are you really that clueless?” he wondered. “Saying a few words isn’t gonna do jack shit, Autumn! Words mean nothing in this town, or have you learned nothing yet? You have to show them that you’re sincere.”
“And lying is being really sincere, isn’t it?” she shot back. “You said yourself that we can’t keep lying because it’s the lies that got us here. Why the hell are you pushing this?”
He stifled the urge to just pick her up and shake sense into her. “Because it’ll be beneficial to both of us in the long-run. Do you want this scandal to taint the rest of your career? People will always talk about it, whether it’s behind their hands or whatever.”
“And marrying you is going to prevent that?” She rolled her eyes. “Please. You’re a has-been, Nick Carter. I’m not that naïve that I don’t know that your group is floundering. You just want to make yourself look good by marrying an actress who…” Her voice trailed off. Who what? she wondered frantically. Her life was hinging on this ridiculous mess that she’d found herself in, and she couldn’t be sure, not yet, that it wouldn’t affect her career. “Who’s on her way up the ladder,” she finished after a moment.
“Not for long,” he replied. “If things keep going the way they’ve been this week, you’ll never get another acting gig. Directors and producers don’t want actresses with scandal attached to their work. You’ll drop faster than you can say your own name. You’ll be a nothing, a nobody.”
“Like you?” she asked.
Nick winced. In the few months he’d known her, she rarely took potshots at other people, but, when she did, they hit the target. “Like me,” he agreed. Because he was practically a nobody. “If you’d marry me, we could fix both of our problems. Where the hell are the cons in this? We’ll live together in a house big enough that we won’t have to see each other if we don’t want to. We’ll go to big events together, act in love, and, afterwards, we don’t have to see each other again until the next time. Where are the flaws in that plan?”
“There’s probably fifty thousand flaws in that plan.”
He was close, he knew, really close to losing his temper. He’d never been known for his patience, and she was tempting it. “I can’t believe how incredibly childish you’re being with this whole thing. Grow up and face your responsibilities, Autumn. You haven’t got a snowball’s chance in hell of making it through this if you don’t. So you can sit here and hope that a way out of this mess will suddenly appear, or you can make it happen.”
“Go to hell, Nick,” she snapped and turned to rummage through Lily’s clothes for an outfit. “Take your self-righteous attitude, your idiot ideas, and get the hell out of my life. Instead of being the friend I thought you were, you’re nearly as bad as Summer.”
After several moments of silence, he sighed. “I thought you were a reasonable person, but you’re no better than other women I’ve been around. Maybe Summer had the right idea in messing with you. At least she was smart about when she decided to dish the dirt on you. Coming out with her stories before the Golden Globes and Oscars was definitely gonna kill you. Good thing I don’t have to be around to watch it.” He moved to the door before looking back to where she stood, her hands stilled on a tiny pair of clothes. “I hope, for Lily’s sake, that you get your sanity back.”
Autumn stood where she was for a long time after he’d left. She was doing the right thing, she told herself repeatedly. Marrying Nick would be a mistake because, well, it wasn’t going to work. At least, she didn’t think it would work because it would be just another lie in the long line of many lies and omissions that had turned into weapons aimed at her.
God, was she doing the right thing? She shuddered at the memory of all the cameras and microphones thrust at her when she’d left her home to go see Summer the day before. It had been a nightmare, and she knew it would be like that again and again. Until this mess had been resolved. If it were ever resolved.
There had to be another way, she thought, than marriage. If she were perfectly honest with herself, and she felt she should be, then she’d have to admit that it was the idea of marriage to a man she had no real feelings for that was the most disturbing part of the plan. Ever since she’d been a little girl, she’d dreamt of marrying the man she loved, and she’d been so sure it would be Jack. Of course, he was gone, and a marriage of convenience was top of the list on her short list of choices.
But marriage to Nick?
“Autumn.”
She shook herself out of her thoughts and, fixing a bright smile on her face, looked over at Liz before crossing the room to lift her now-awake daughter out of the crib. One look at her friend’s face, though, dissolved her fake cheer. “Oh, Liz.” Her voice wavered, and she let Liz pull her into a hug. “I don’t know what to do.”
“It’s a tough choice,” Liz agreed quietly. “I know you don’t want to do this, but, Autumn, this isn’t a light decision. There’s so many positive things that can come out of marriage to Nick.”
Autumn stepped away and picked Lily up when the baby babbled up at her. “There’s absolutely no other bachelor in town that I could marry? Really, Liz. How can you, of all people, approve of this?”
“Not easily, but we knew, going into this business, that there would be sacrifices we’d have to make.”
“But not like this. Sacrifices, career-wise, I can understand, but to marry someone I don’t love and keep up a fake relationship for the cameras?” She shook her head. “I don’t think I can.”
Liz sighed. “Right now, your private life is the issue. Besides, if anyone can get through the impossible, it’s you. You’re right. This is your life, but, if you want anymore out of it than infamy, you need to work with the system before you can beat it.”
Autumn didn’t reply for several moments as she changed Lily’s clothes and murmured to her child. The baby babbled back and giggled when Autumn blew kisses on her belly. When she was dressed in a pretty blue top and white pants with a white ribbon laced through dark curls, Lily wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck and let herself be lifted into secure, comfortable arms. There, she nestled and, leaning against Autumn’s shoulder, played with her mother’s necklace.
“Marriage to Nick, huh?” Autumn said finally, stroking her fingers over Lily’s hair. “Well, at least it’ll get me into a gated community, away from the media. Lily will definitely be safe. And she likes Nick.” She shrugged. “I guess I could probably think of a thousand worse things.”
Author's Notes:
I wasn't going to post so fast, but i thought i'd just let everyone enjoy some more of PTW. Thanks for all the great reviews!
Oh, and, if you could, I've started a Kevin story that I'd played around with for a while. It's called The Pieces, and I'd love it if you could check it out and lemme know what you think!
“This is wild.” Brian’s gaze swept the store they stood in before returning to fix upon Nick. “I never, not in a million years, thought I’d ever be doing this. Not with you.”
Nick shrugged and examined each row carefully. “I know how you feel, but, hey, it’s crazier for me.”
“And me.” Chris shook his head as he stood on Nick’s other side. His eyes met Brian’s as they shared a rare look of wonder over Nick’s head. “What am I gonna do at all the parties now?”
“Get drunk and get laid?” Nick suggested and didn’t spare Brian a glance when the older man barely disguised the laugh as a cough. “It’s not funny.”
Brian sobered. “You’re absolutely right, it’s not. This is a monumental decision, Nickolas Gene.”
“I know. I remember you were freaking out like whoa, what, eight years ago. Look where we are now.”
“In a jewelry store?” Chris gave the obvious answer, and Brian and Nick rolled their eyes at each other. “Okay, I get it. It’s crazy that we’re standing here and watching you look for a ring. Are you sure this is what you want?”
Nick was quiet for so long, Brian placed a hand on his shoulder. “Look, Nick. She’s going through a rough patch, right now. Are you sure marrying her is the best thing for either of you?”
“I love her,” he stated simply, causing Chris’s jaw to drop.
“Are you fucking serious, man? I thought you were with Liz last week. How the hell did you go from Liz to being in love with Autumn?”
Nick tried not to look at them as he continued to study the selection of engagement rings spotlighted below the gleaming glass of the display counter. He’d decided that it would be better for the secret if the less people knew the better. After all, if too many people knew that he was marrying Autumn for reasons other than love, it would be more likely that someone would accidentally slip and say something. It sucked, he thought, to have to lie to his friends, but it was for the best.
“It was never Liz,” he said now. “It’s been Autumn from that first time at that movie premiere back in September.”
“Really?” Brian seemed suspicious, and Nick scrambled to continue the lie.
“Yeah. And then we just kept bumping into each other, and, well, there was this morning at the beach,” he remembered as he spoke and congratulated himself on the inspiration. “Oh, man. That was the day I knew.”
Brian continued to frown. “Wasn’t she with her ex then?”
“Uh, yeah. So I couldn’t say anything to her about how I felt. So, on Thanksgiving, I thought I’d ask Liz out instead and see if it made Autumn jealous or something.” God, he thought. Somebody give me a fucking Oscar. I’m pulling off the job of the century.
“Dude, that’s awesome!” Chris slapped his back good-naturedly.
Nick shrugged and noticed the reporters with their cameras as they huddled around the windows to the shop. The storeowner couldn’t seem happier about the publicity. “She broke it off with Jack that night, and, well, the rest is pretty much history. We just wanted to keep things secret, but the tabloids sort of wouldn’t let us. I mean, I’d pretend to be going out with Liz, but Autumn was with us a couple times. So, instead of being tricked, the media figured out exactly what was going on. Damn rats,” he added with fervor.
“I saw her interview last night where she gave her statement,” Brian said after long moments. He wasn’t entirely convinced the story was exactly what Nick said it was, but…He was reserving judgement on the whole thing. As long as Nick was happy, though, he knew he couldn’t say anything. “Leighanne watched it, and she just wanted to show up at Autumn’s house and give her a hug. I had to talk her out of going as it appeared that you were by her side. Autumn seemed happier when they talked about the two of you. If you can make her happy, Nick, then good for you. I’ve always wanted the best for you, and I think she’s the perfect one for you.”
Nick straightened up, surprised. “Really? I mean, yeah. I know,” he corrected quickly.
“She won’t take your bullshit, kid, and you won’t let her fall apart. She looked like she was barely hanging in there last night, and I hope you give her the strength to get through the media nightmare.” Brian laid a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “Besides, you’re going to be a daddy. How about that?”
Chris snorted. “Soon as the kid is old enough to go around without her mom, Nick’ll probably take her to parties. Just remember, Nick, old man, you can’t get her drunk, or Autumn’s gonna beat your ass.”
“Shut up, Chris.” Nick turned back to Brian again. “I’m glad you and the guys like her, Brian. And, yeah, it’s all sorts of weird to know I’ll be a dad, and I hope I don’t screw it up. I love Lily.” That, at least, was the truth through and through. The pixie had him wrapped around her tiny finger.
“You’ll be a great father, Nick,” Brian assured him. “And, hey, this gives Baylee a playmate on tour and an honorary little sister.”
On tour? Nick gulped as he realized he hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. “Uh, yeah. I think she’s going to get along great with Bay. They won’t be bored. I’ll just have to make sure she doesn’t go streaking across the stage, though, or fiddle around with the microphones. It could get embarrassing.”
“Oh, ha ha. Please, Nick. You know it was funny. Everybody was laughing,” Brian reminded him, though the blush at his son’s past antics still stained his cheeks.
“Uh huh. Anyway,” Nick looked back down at the rings before he turned to the storeowner, “I’m sorry. I don’t see the perfect ring here. But thanks, anyway. Let’s go, guys.” And he headed for the door even as the owner spluttered that he had others in the back. “I know where I’ll find the perfect ring.”
Chris and Brian looked at each other, shrugged, and followed him out.
***
Autumn studied the dresses and sighed. She knew acting, but, when it came to fashion, she was clueless. Sure, the purple, strapless Calvin Klein was gorgeous, but so was the emerald, off-shoulder Chanel. Then, there was the stunning, black Dior. She was lost. “I don’t know,” she admitted to her stylist. “All I really know is that I would not be caught dead in the gold one. I’d be practically naked!”
Charlene, her stylist, laughed. “I wasn’t even going to suggest it as an option, Autumn. Anyway, the six dresses here are just the ones you were sent for the Globes. I have a closetful of gowns for the Oscars. Five more arrived this morning. It appears that your interview last night had a positive effect. Designers are dying to get you into their stuff.”
“I wouldn’t say there’s been a positive spin,” Autumn muttered. “But it has gotten better. I hope it’s put Summer in her place. I saw a couple tabs calling her out on her lies, and one of the entertainment shows said something about how she’s the one who has no honor and no sense of family ties.” She tried to keep the glee from showing on her face but failed. “Do you think it’s going to end soon?”
Not really paying attention to the question, Charlene fluttered around Autumn with dress after dress and clucked her tongue. “Honestly, they couldn’t think of anything better to send you? These dresses will do nothing for you, Autumn. You want to show the world you’re on top of everything, not slogging your way to the bottom. You said Nick was going to be accompanying you to the Globes? I’ll want him to come in and see me about his suit. We don’t have much time, either!” She lifted another gown and slipped it onto Autumn as she stood in next to nothing on a pedestal. “God, this shade of peach is absolutely vile. It doesn’t add any glow to your skin. Not even makeup would help. Well, we’ll just have to find something else.”
Autumn held back the chuckle. Sometimes, it seemed that her stylist was more worried about her looks than she was. “Charlene, you didn’t answer my question.”
“Did you answer mine?”
“Huh? Which one?”
“Are you going to tell Nick to come in as soon as humanly possible, so I can coordinate your styles appropriately?”
“Ugh. I’ll tell him. Do you think my troubles are going to be over soon?”
Charlene whipped out another gown, this time in royal blue, and stared at her model. “Autumn. You will be doing damage control for at least another month. Maybe more. I wouldn’t be so happy yet.”
“Right.” She wasn’t convinced and was about to open her mouth to say something when she noticed the visitor and squeaked in surprise. “Charlene! Why didn’t you close the door?”
Nick merely leaned against the doorjamb and decided he’d have to have been dead a century not to enjoy the sight of Autumn in nothing but a skin-toned bra and skimpy underwear. “Hello, ladies. Autumn, that look works for me,” he added with a wicked grin. So what if they were irritated with each other, he thought, it was still amusing to annoy her.
Blushing, Autumn scrambled around to find a shirt and left Nick to Charlene’s advances. As she yanked on her pants, she had to grin at the nerves obvious in his voice as he tried to evade the stylist’s questions about his clothing.
When Charlene moved away for a moment to grab her measuring tape, Nick latched onto his opportunity. And Autumn’s arm. “Excuse us, Charlene. I’ll definitely get you the details of my suit soon, but I need to steal Autumn from you.”
“She’s not done with her dress choice. Then we have to do her shoes, her jewelry, and Carlo, the hairdresser, wants to take a whack at her hairstyle. She cannot leave.” Charlene had put her foot down, and Autumn grinned triumphantly and pulled her arm out of Nick’s hold.
The triumph, though, turned to shock when, in less than two minutes, he managed to charm Charlene into letting Autumn go. When she found herself seated in Nick’s BMW five minutes later, the shock had faded into annoyance.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demanded, watching him twist the key in the ignition.
He waited until they were on the highway before answering her. “I thought you might want to take a little break, grab some dinner, and relax before doing more work. You’ve got an interview tonight, right?”
What, did he have her entire schedule memorized? she wondered, annoyed. “Yes, I do. I’d rather relax at home with Lily, though, so if you could just take me home-”
“Nope. Give me an hour, Autumn.” When she glared at the windshield and didn’t respond, he sighed. “Look, we were friends before this whole marriage idea popped up. I’d really like us to not be mad at each other. We’re both stuck in it, and it’d be stupid if we were pissed off the entire time. Let’s just make the best of the situation, huh? Give me one hour,” he asked again, gently.
Damn it, she thought. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. Their marriage wouldn’t be any easier if they kept fighting, but still… “Fine. I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you for having this stupid idea, but you’ve got your hour. This better be good,” she added in a mutter and slouched in the seat, her arms crossed.
Nick smiled to himself. One battle won, he mused. Now he just had to make it through the rest of the freaking war.
***
Ten minutes later, he pulled his car through the gates of a beautiful home built in the finest of California’s Spanish style. The red rolled tiles glowed against the warm hues of the walls in the late afternoon sunshine. Wide emerald lawns and lush tropical bushes hugged the house, and the curving drive cut through the foliage and led up to the mansion.
Autumn sat up, her nose practically pressed to the glass. “Nick. This house is gorgeous! Who lives here?” She leapt out of the car when he stopped it and leaned down to run her fingers through the soft, green grass. “It’s seriously perfect.”
He grinned as he watched her tip her head back to take in the wide windows, the wrought-iron balcony on the second floor, and the greenery that trimmed it all. “Wanna see the inside?”
“Hell, yes!” She hurried after him towards the door. And stopped. “Wait a minute. Is this, like, AJ’s house?”
Nick shook his head and fished a key out of his pocket. “Just come in and explore it. I’ll answer your questions after.” He held the door open and followed her through it.
The inside was, to Autumn’s sheer delight, a dream come true. It was completely furnished with the perfect furniture in each, uniquely decorated room. The parlor, den, and dining room met with her purring approval. But her jaw dropped when she walked into the family room and spotted the backyard and the view beyond it.
“This is incredible! Look at that pool, and, wow, you can see the valley just past the fence. It’s almost as though you could walk right into it.” She spun around to face him, the glow of pleasure turning her looks from pretty to stunning. Nick realized he was suddenly breathless and tried to shrug it off.
“You like it, then?” The question was pointless, he knew, because a blind man could see that she loved the house.
“Of course!” She wandered into the kitchen and ooh-ed her approval. “Damn it, Nick. If one of your friends owns this place, I’ll make them an offer for it. It’s even better than anything I thought I’d find. So, who owns it?”
Nick waited until she returned to the family room. “We do.”
The joy turned into a stunned look. “Excuse me?”
“We do,” he repeated. “If we’re going to get married, we need a house to live in. I found this today, and, when I dropped by the realtor’s office, it was a piece of cake to buy it because it’s been on the market for months with no potential buyers. We have to wait a couple weeks before moving in because they have to process the paperwork, but this house has our names on the deed. It’s ours.”
“How could you just buy a house for us and expect that I’d just follow along with it? Are you crazy, Nick?” Her anger was back in full force at the thought of him not asking her before buying the place. It didn’t matter that the home was perfect, it was the principle of the matter.
Nick took a deep breath and reminded himself not to lose his temper. She was mad enough for the both of them. “Autumn, you just said you loved the place. You were ready to buy it right now. I just saved us the trouble of house-hunting. Are you really going to complain about that?”
Well, jeez. She was being childish, Autumn realized when she heard the placating tone of his voice. It was as though he were speaking to a particularly slow-witted child. The temper drained quickly. “No,” she replied quietly. “You were right. This place is fabulous. Lily’s going to love it here.”
“Good.” He smiled before tugging her over to sit on the sofa. Keeping her hands in his, he tucked an errant dark curl behind her ear. “I’m glad you like it. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but Howie and Brian said it was pretty perfect. They’re usually right about this sort of stuff, so I believed them. But it still means a lot that you would love it as much as I do.”
Autumn felt guilty for her earlier outburst. “Thank you, Nick. Really. You’re just trying to make things easier, and I’m making them harder. I’ll work with you on this whole…marriage,” she finished, the word still sticking a bit.
His smile never wavered as he pulled something out of his pocket. “I thought it would be best for me to do this here, in this house. This is going to be our home when we’re married, and I think it means more if I do this here and now.”
Her heart was thudding oddly at the look in his eyes. What was happening? “Nick. What is it?”
Nick ran his thumb lightly over her knuckles before lifting her hand to press his lips to her fingers. “Autumn. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he began with a slight smile. His other hand appeared between them and something sparkled between his forefinger and thumb.
When she realized what it was, her eyes widened. “Oh, my…”
He laughed at her expression. “Well, if we’re going to do this, we have to do it right. So,” he squeezed her fingers gently, “Autumn Evans, will you marry me?”
Autumn stared at the bronze band topped with a lily in a mother-of-pearl inlay, the texture of its petals seeming soft to touch. Nestled in the midst of the petals was a single emerald. “Nick, it’s…Wow. It’s amazing.” Her eyes lifted to his. “You didn’t have to-”
“Yeah, I did. I didn’t think gold or platinum worked for you, but the bronze suited you more. The lily’s for Lily, and the emerald reminded me of your eyes.” He shrugged. “I know this designer that does these unique designs, so I went over and found it. After we’re divorced, you can keep it, too. It’s really not a big deal,” he added.
“Well, it’s still an incredibly generous ring. Thank you.”
He lifted a brow. “You didn’t answer the question.”
“Hmm?”
“Will you marry me, Autumn?”
She glanced from the ring to his slight smile. What the hell, she decided. “Yes. Yes, I will.” He slid the ring onto her finger and grinned when it fit. “Just for the record, Nickolas?”
“Yeah?”
Autumn kissed his cheek. “I’m still going to kick your ass after this is over.”
Author's Notes:
Here's the next installment! This one's dedicated to Veronica, who asked about the kissing. I hope this chapter starts to answer your question! Enjoy!
The news hit the media and spread like wildfire. Within hours, it seemed the entire world was in a frenzy over Hollywood’s latest darling marrying music’s former golden boy. Some media outlets claimed that it was a match made in heaven, while others continued to speculate over the reasons behind the marriage. Perhaps it was because she was pregnant with his child, they said. Or maybe it was because she was a free ride to the top for him. One source came frighteningly close to the truth by claiming that they were just engaged because they wanted to throw everyone off from Summer’s allegations.
Autumn had breathed a sigh of relief when that paper had printed a retraction and, instead, wished her and Nick all the luck in the world. It had been four days since he’d slid the ring onto her finger, and she still felt strange wearing it. She’d always believed the sight of her engagement ring would fill her with joy and excitement about the future. She couldn’t say that now, though.
She rubbed her thumb over the lily on her left hand and, sighing, turned to stare out the window again. Los Angeles flew by, and she watched the people on the street, the couples walking on the sidewalks. They all seemed so happy, so in love. As good an actress she believed herself to be, she was nervous that she wouldn’t be able to pull this off.
Marriage to Nick? Who was she kidding, really? The instant people saw them together, they’d know all was not what it seemed.
When she sighed again, Nick looked over at her. Her thoughts were so freaking loud that he swore he could hear every, single one. He knew she was nervous, but, then again, so was he. Neither of them wanted to be in the situation they were in, but there wasn’t much they could do about it now.
They were getting married. He hoped to God that everything would work itself out.
“I hate lying to the guys,” he said aloud and waited for her to turn to look at him. The green of her eyes flickered with uneasiness and anxiety.
“I hate lying. Period.”
“Autumn. We agreed-”
“I never agreed. I just gave up because I’d been railroaded into it.” She glanced around the confines of the limo before looking back at him. “I never thought I’d be sitting here like this, with you, knowing we’re about to face the toughest critics out there.”
“Joan and Melissa will love the ring. I’ve got good taste,” he tried to joke and cracked a half smile.
She just sighed again and shook her head. “This is ridiculous. I have to be in Peru next week to start filming. What are we going to do then? Are we just going to stay engaged for the next three months? And am I supposed to leave Lily with you?”
“Don’t worry about the munchkin. We get along great,” he reassured her, but she shook her head.
“Nick. What do you really know about taking care of an eighteen-month-old? Your siblings don’t count. I mean, really, have you ever changed a baby’s diaper before?”
He gulped when he thought of the smelly diapers that loomed in his future. “When do you start potty-training her?”
Autumn had to hold back the sound of frustration. “See? This is exactly what I was talking about! You have no idea how to be a father! How am I supposed to entrust my daughter into your care for an extended period of time? And, then, because of this stupid play we’re putting on for everyone, how can I not leave her with you? Because you know the questions will start when they notice that I haven’t left your stepchild with you.” She resisted the urge to yank her hair out. Not that it would have moved as there was a foot of hairspray stuck to it.
“Look.” He had to clench his teeth together to keep from screaming at her to stop being so irrational. “Will you just take it a day at a time? I mean, we just got engaged. There’s no need to go running around like a chicken with its head cut off.”
She was silent for a long time. “Was that supposed to be funny? Because it wasn’t.”
Nick didn’t reply as their limousine pulled into the line of vehicles depositing their famous passengers into the red carpet media frenzy. His stomach was knotted up, and he suddenly had as many doubts as Autumn had about how they’d fare through the next few hours.
“Ready?” he murmured as she realized what he was staring at and put her hand on the door handle. She would be exiting first, and, selfishly, he was pleased by that fact.
No. No, she wasn’t ready. There wasn’t any choice, though.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open, and, immediately, the shouts, questions, microphones, and eager reporters’ faces filled the car. Autumn moved to step out into it all when she found her hand caught.
The scene was captured in an almost picture-perfect way by the dozens of cameras trained on them. She with her hand in Nick’s, turning back to smile at him as he grinned at her. The image would appear countless times during the recaps of the Golden Globes and its red carpet moments.
Then, as quickly as it had begun, the moment ended, and she tugged him out after her. Standing next to her at the entrance to the red carpet, he slid his arm around her waist and pulled her against his side, his cheek resting on her hair. Even as she slid her arm around him as well and pinched him, they both continued to glow for the cameras.
“I’ll get you back for that,” he muttered through the smile.
Autumn shifted her head to smile sweetly up at him in a way she hoped appeared loving. “Then don’t hold me like that.”
“Then maybe you’d like to tell them we were just lying. Baby.” Knowing it would annoy the crap out of her, he leaned down at kissed the tip of her nose. Even as she seethed from the action, Nick turned to the reporters. “Thanks for your well wishes,” he said into the microphones thrust at them. “We’d better keep moving along, though.”
It took them nearly half an hour to make it to where Joan and Melissa Rivers kept up their famous red carpet commentating. It had given Autumn enough time to relax into the roles that Nick had slid them into, and she knew, as much as it grated, that he’d been right to do so.
Still… “Had much practice at this?” she muttered.
“Contrary to popular belief, I’ve only ever dated another celebrity once. Well, twice, but Mandy wasn’t really famous then. Either way, it should have been enough to put me off them for life.”
“Apparently you couldn’t stay away.”
He didn’t reply and, instead, a brilliant smile lit up his face. She had to blink at its wattage and turned to see what had caused the look. Her heart plummeted as butterflies battered her insides.
“Well, if it isn’t the most talked about couple of the week!” Joan Rivers assessed them with a hawk’s eyes. “Autumn, darling, you look like you were born to wear this dress. You look stunning! Maybe it’s love that’s done it to you?”
Slipping back into her role, she beamed. “Absolutely! I’m glad I didn’t make any fashion faux pas with this dress. It’s an honor to have your approval.”
“Of course, you have our approval,” Melissa smiled at them. “Nick. How does it feel to know you’ve got a woman most men would die to have?”
Nick ran his hand down Autumn’s arm and grinned at her before answering Melissa’s question. “It feels better than anything ever has before. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past, but I know they’ve brought me straight to Autumn. She’s it for me. So, eat your hearts out, fellas.”
Joan gave a half laugh and turned back to Autumn. “That’s absolutely adorable. I’m sure all that silliness last week must have been stressful for you, but I must say, you don’t look any worse for the wear. Why don’t you take a twirl for our cameras, dear, and let everyone see what you’re wearing?”
“Thanks, Joan. I believe I will.” She spun in a slow circle, arms out to the side for the camera to take in her dress.
Charlene had done amazingly as usual and decided upon a calf-skimming, strapless burgundy gown with bronze-toned shoes and matching jewelry. Her hair had been tousled and fell naturally down her back. Her arms, though, were bare. And for good reason…
“So, now, let’s see this gorgeous ring that no one’s been able to spot yet,” Joan demanded, leaving Autumn no choice but to let her lips curve into a smile and hold out her hand for inspection.
Her other hand found Nick’s and squeezed it, trying to draw any sort of courage from him. “What do you think?” she asked.
“It’s unique. Absolutely unique!” Melissa stated as her mother nodded in agreement. “You certainly have lovely taste in the extraordinary, Nick.”
“Thank you.” He beamed as the camera focused on the band. “Every piece of that ring means something special, though. The lily stands for Autumn’s daughter, Lily. The emerald reminds me of Autumn’s gorgeous eyes. I don’t think any other material would’ve done her justice, either. She deserves the best,” he added, his eyes locked on Autumn’s.
Autumn lost her train of thought for a moment as she wondered what, exactly, Nick was trying to pull. His eyes were practically hypnotic, and she faintly wondered if he was trying to see into some part of her that she didn’t even know existed. And why on earth was she finding it difficult to find air? As she tried not to hyperventilate—she’d decided that it was all the excitement of the Globes getting to her—Nick handled the Riverses perfectly and steered them into the venue quickly.
“Sit.” He stowed her into a seat in a corner of the lobby, out of sight of the cameras and other celebrities. Kneeling before her, he studied her face nervously. “Are you okay? You’re not gonna pass out on me, are you? ‘Cause I’d hate to haul your ass around and explain why you suddenly got sick.”
The comment snapped color back into her face, and she pushed to her feet. “I am not sick. We should be inside, in our seats right now. I don’t know why we’re out here. I am perfectly fine.”
“Right,” he muttered under his breath as she practically tugged him towards the ceremony room. “Wait a minute.” He pulled on her hand to stop her. “You can’t go tearing in there like you’re going to kill someone. Chill.”
She glared at him for a moment. Then, as though she were undergoing instant transformation, her expression changed instantly. Instead of surly, her eyes glowed, her lips curved pleasantly, and there was a hint of excitement in her expression. Her arm linked with his as she leaned up to brush her lips over his cheek.
“I meant what I said before. Your ass is grass, Carter,” she whispered before subtly pulling him into the ceremony room.
***
“No.” It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be happening. Not like this. Not after everything that had happened in the past week or so. It should’ve been impossible.
But it wasn’t.
Nick’s arms were around her even as the cameras caught her stunned features. “Autumn, come on. You won! You gotta get up there, kid.”
His voice broke her daze, and she turned in his arms to look at him. It was true, she realized. Remembering herself, she prevented the squeal but not the look of glee from appearing on her face. “I won! Oh, my God!” Staying in her role, she threw her arms around Nick, brushed her lips over his for a second, and grinned. “I won!”
“Yeah. Now, go.” He pushed her out into the aisle and watched her make her way to the stage. Later, he’d think about that kiss. The barely-there one. The one that had practically been non-existent. Then why…No. He stopped himself as she began to speak.
“Honestly, I can’t believe I won,” she began. “After everything that’s been happening lately, I cannot tell you how grateful I am that there are people who still believe in me. Gosh,” she paused when her voice broke. “I don’t even have a proper acceptance speech because I hadn’t expected at all to win. So, I’m going to wing it.” She took a deep breath. “Thanks to my manager, my agent, my best friend, Liz. Look where we’ve made it to today! The team that’s gotten me this far, including Sherrie and Leah. My stylist, Charlene, for making sure I looked good enough to deserve to stand up here. If it had been up to me, I’d probably have worn jeans.” She chuckled along with the audience members. “Everyone who had faith in my abilities, Gabe Peterson and the cast and crew of the film. You gave me the chance, and it’s due to you that I’ve made it here.” She grinned and looked down at the statue she held. “Lily, my baby, mommy’s bringing home a new toy for you. Okay, just kidding,” she added with a smile. “And, finally, the man who’s stuck by my side through thick and thin, through my mood swings, and put up with all my craziness. Nick Carter, you might not believe it, but you’re part of the reason I’ve made it here. I love you.”
“I can’t believe she said that!”
Nick just nodded and continued to flick through the On-Demand offers on his TV.
“Nick, how can you be okay with that?”
He lifted a brow. “Uh, because she’s just playing the game the way we wanted her to?”
Liz sighed and snuggled up against him on the couch. “I know. It’s just…God, I didn’t think she’d be bold enough to go up there and say she loved you.”
“Why not? We’re supposed to be in love, so wouldn’t it be weird if she didn’t say she loved me?”
“Have you said you loved her in any interview?”
“Not yet. But I’ll have to eventually. I can’t expect to get away with it for too much longer.”
She resisted the urge to scream in frustration. So what that she’d agreed to the idea of her best friend marrying her boyfriend? So what that she’d forced her best friend into following through on it? It didn’t mean she was okay with the idea.
“I hate this.”
The quiet admission made him set aside the remote and scoop her into his arms, his cheek against hers. “Elizabeth Barnes, you know I want to be with you. No matter what, I want to be with only you. It doesn’t matter that I’m marrying Autumn. I’ll still want you. I promise you right here, right now, that this whole marriage situation is not going to make me want to stop wanting to be with you.”
Liz’s eyes widened as she turned to look up into his eyes. “Really?”
“Honest to God.”
“Nick. That’s so…I think that’s one of the most romantic things you’ve ever said to me.” She managed a watery smile before leaning up to press her lips to his. “I’m glad we’re together. I’m grateful for that every day.”
“Me, too,” he whispered. “I feel like I’ve known you forever. And it’s only really been two months.”
“May as well be a lifetime.”
He nodded and tightened his arms around her. “What I feel for you makes my stomach do somersaults. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that before. Not even after eating too much and going on a rollercoaster.”
Her lips twitched. “Just as long as you don’t throw up on me,” she replied dryly.
“Oh, come on. You know it was funny.”
She blinked. “Nick, I’m so rolling on the floor laughing when you compare how you feel about me to nausea on an amusement park ride.”
“It’s funny, babe. Gimme a laugh. Just one.”
Because he was cute, because he could make her smile when she was upset, because he sang to her over the phone every night they weren’t together, because he was Nick, she did. And she knew he’d follow through on what he’d promised.
But it was going to be so hard, she thought even as she laughed with him. It was going to be damned near impossible to keep from being hurt. It wasn’t possible that she could escape some bruises when it was all over. Because the truth was…
She was falling in love with him.
***
Autumn wanted to smack herself silly for ever agreeing to the thousands of interviews. Okay, so it felt like a thousand interviews, but she’d really only had eleven interviews with various magazines and newspapers. Some of them had been over the phone, but, for the most part, they’d been in-person interviews, and she was tired of constantly smiling and looking happy all the time. Really, a person could only smile so much before her cheeks froze in that position.
The sun was shining brightly when she stepped out of the coffee shop where she’d just wrapped up another of the damned interviews. Rummaging through her bag, she yanked out a pair of sunglasses and propped them on her nose before checking her watch. She still needed to rush home, pack an overnight bag, drop Lily off at Leah’s, and catch her plane to Chicago. She was taping her interview with Oprah the next day, and she was terrified.
Oprah had always been one of her biggest idols, and the thought of meeting the formidable woman was terrifying. Knowing her luck, Autumn suspected that she’d probably babble and act like a complete dolt in front of the woman. That would confirm everyone’s belief that she was brainless.
Okay, so no one really thought she was brainless, but she just didn’t want to screw up. She’d never actually expected to be on the show. Ever. No matter how many lights surrounded her name. And, yet, here she was. Less than twenty four hours away from doing the interview.
Caught up in her thoughts, she barely registered the fact that someone had just stepped out of a shop before she bumped into them.
“Oh, gosh! I’m so sorry,” she apologized, reaching down to pick up the man’s bag for him. “I guess I wasn’t really watching where-” At a closer look at her victim’s face, she blinked. He looked so familiar…
“Autumn.” His voice had a hint of the South, and she tried to figure out where she’d seen him-
“Kevin! Kevin Richardson!” It came to her, and she smiled. “Fancy meeting you here. It’s been quite a while.”
He smiled back, emerald eyes twinkling. “It has. I believe it’s been about three and a half months. Last time I saw you, you were riding high off the success of your film. And now…”
She winced at the unspoken statement. “And now I’m rather infamous. Although, I’m trying to correct that.”
“Of course.” He gestured down the sidewalk. “Walk with me?”
What harm could it do? “Sure. So, how’ve you been?”
“Not bad. I’ve been in and out of LA lately. Performed in Chicago again up in Toronto, and I’ll be heading out to Japan to do the same in a few weeks. Spending time with my wife when she’s not working is always a bonus, too.” He lifted a shoulder. “It’s not bad, all in all.”
“Great! It’s always good to hear from people who are satisfied in what they’re doing.”
Seeing his opportunity, Kevin pounced. “What about you? You’re being vindicated slowly but surely. And you’re marrying Nick. My, a lot has happened in the past few months, hasn’t it? Are you satisfied?”
“Honestly?” Autumn sighed. “It’s been a wild ride so far, and it’s not even halfway done yet.”
“Marrying Nick is just going to make it wilder. Are you going to be the one to tame him? Settle him down?”
There was a glint in his eyes that she didn’t quite want to decipher. “I don’t think anyone can settle Nick down. He’s his own person, and I’m not trying to change him.”
“I don’t know that I’d ever imagined him with a woman like you. Don’t get me wrong,” he continued, seeing the protest on her face, “I think you’re a terrific person. You’ve gotten the raw end of the deal lately, and it’s nice to see Nick trying to help you out of a jam. I just think you two are rushing into marriage too fast.”
Knowing she couldn’t tell him the true reason for their marriage, Autumn set her shoulders. “I think that you couldn’t possibly know what Nick and I feel for each other. I’m glad to have him in my life, and I know for a fact that my daughter adores him. We’re doing what feels right for us, and it’s no one else’s business what we do or don’t do.”
“Autumn.” Kevin stopped walking and laid a hand lightly on her shoulder. “I’m not trying to offend you. I know Nick. I’ve known him since he was twelve. I’ve watched him grow up and make mistakes left and right. I just don’t want this to be one them because I’d rather not see you and your child hurt.”
“I appreciate the thought, Kevin, but I think we’ll be okay.” She managed a smile. “I know we’re a mess right now, but what we feel for each other is crystal clear.”
“What do you feel for him?”
She sighed. “A lot of things, but he’s a remarkable man with so much more going for him than he thinks. I love him, but I know that he can make more of himself than a second-rate reality show star. He’s a terrific listener, and always has a shoulder handy when I need one. Plus, my kid loves him, and he loves her. Usually, Lily turns out to be pretty accurate about a person’s character. I think the three of us will make each other happy, and that’s all that really matters.”
Kevin was quiet for a few moments as he studied her. Finally, as her nerves hit the screaming point, he smiled. “Maybe I was wrong. I think you’ll keep him in line. Maybe even give him that extra push he needs to be really great. I’d like to meet Lily one day. We could have you and Nick over for dinner one day.”
“Yeah?” She was definitely surprised at the invitation.
“Absolutely.”
“Thanks, Kevin.” She squeezed his hand. “I know you practically raised him. Or so I hear. I’ll take care of him. I promise.” She glanced at her watch and winced. “I hate to leave you, but I really have to run. I need to catch a plane in a few hours and have a thousand things to do before then. I’ll see you again. Soon.” And she was gone.
He watched her rush down the sidewalk and cross the street. “Oh, Autumn.” He shook his head. “You might take care of Nick, but who’s going to take care of you when he breaks your heart?”
“Coo-keeee!” Lily clapped her hands and babbled at Nick, a gleeful expression on her face.
Nick shook his head and pointed a finger at her. “I know your kind, baby. You can smile all you want, but I am not going to give you another cookie. Look at the mess you’ve already made.” He gently wiped a damp paper towel over the smears of chocolate and crumbs on her chin and cheeks—the only evidence of the eleven chocolate chip cookies she’d already consumed. “If I gave you any more, your mother would kill me.”
“Nick!”
“No.”
“Nick!”
“No, munchkin. No more.”
“Niiiick.” Now she wore a forlorn expression on her face. “Pease?”
“Be strong, Nick,” he muttered to himself as that look clawed at his resolve. “No, Lily. Why don’t we go and…play with your toys!” He congratulated himself on coming up with a decent idea when her face lit up.
“Toys! Nick! Yes!” And, fast as her tiny legs would carry her, she toddled off to the corner of the room where he’d stashed all of her playthings.
He watched her whip out her laptop-type machine and had to prevent himself from groaning. He didn’t think he’d make it through another round of “Green starts with the letter G” and “A is for apple”. The plane ride with it had been bad enough, but if she was insisting on playing with it now, well, he was out for this round.
“How about something else, huh?” Nick rummaged through the toys and pulled out a wind-up doll. When he pulled its string, it emitted a high-pitched “Hi! I’m Cindy! Will you be my friend?”
He shuddered. “Why would your mom buy you such a creepy toy, Lilykins?”
She cocked her head at him quizzically and held out her hands. “Shindy?”
“If that’s what you really want,” he said and handed the sketchy doll over.
Lily proceeded to alternate between pressing buttons on the laptop and pulling Cindy’s string so that, by the time the locks on the door snicked open, Nick was ready to cry. The damned doll with its creepy as hell voice and the stupid laptop had driven him up the fucking wall. Enough was enough, he thought desperately, and nearly wept when Autumn opened the door.
“Thank God!” he gasped and slumped against the wall.
Autumn’s brows flew up. “Nick? What on earth are you doing here?” She bent to pick up Lily as her daughter wrapped herself around her mother’s legs. “Hi, baby,” she murmured and kissed the toddler’s cheek before settling her onto her hip. “Nick, what are the two of you doing in Chicago?”
“We thought we’d surprise you.” He shrugged at her surprised expression. “Let me ask you a question, Evans. Who the heck makes creepy dolls like Cindy from Hell over there? And what possessed you to buy that annoying computer for Lily? If I hear ‘B is for ball’ one more time, I will throw it out the window.”
She wisely swallowed the grin and shook her head. “I should’ve warned you that Lily’s in love with those two toys at the moment. I think I could probably recite everything that’s stored in that laptop’s memory chip. And, you’re right, Cindy is annoying. But, Lily here loves her, so Creepy Cindy stays.”
“I suddenly wish I still smoked,” Nick muttered and stood. “So, how was Oprah?”
Autumn lifted a brow. “You didn’t answer my question. I was first.”
“What was your question again?”
Her foot tapped impatiently on the carpeted floor. “What are you and Lily doing here? Lily was supposed to be with Liz, and you—well, I don’t have a clue where you’re supposed to be.”
“Look, I was headed out to Nashville to record with the guys, and Lily really missed you. So, I thought, why not drop her off on the way to Tennessee? I don’t see what the big deal is,” he added. “I mean, I thought you’d be glad to see Lily.”
“I am.” She sighed and looked down at her daughter, now asleep, in her arms. “Well, you must have really tired her out. And,” she leaned close to Lily’s face and sniffed, “did you feed her chocolate?”
Nick gulped. “Uh, no?”
“Nick.”
“I didn’t!”
“Nick.”
“I swear, Autumn, I didn’t give her chocolate.”
“Make me believe you.”
“How was Oprah? You have to answer my question now because I answered your first question,” he tried to evade quickly.
She just shook her head when she spotted the package of cookies on the dresser behind him. “How many chocolate chip cookies did she eat? Lily’s a chocolate fiend, so I’m betting she conned you out of more than two.”
“You can say that again,” he muttered then winced when he saw her expression. “Okay, you got me.” He held up his hands in surrender. “Man, when she bats those eyes at you and gives you that sad face, you just can’t help it. That kid is a potent weapon and knows it, too.”
Autumn had to smile at the obvious affection behind the words. He’d been right when he’d said he and Lily got along well. It would make working in Peru more bearable, she thought, knowing that Nick would take good care of her daughter. She’d never thought she’d ever feel that way, but it was obvious that Lily loved her soon-to-be stepdad just as much as he loved her. And the fact that Nick did love Lily was such a surprise. He’d never seemed the type to fall for kids or be good with them, but here he’d earned her daughter’s affections in a matter of days. Much as she might be annoyed with the fact that she was going to have to marry him, she was glad that he was someone she could trust to care for Lily well.
“It’s okay,” she said after a few moments. “By the time she wakes up, she’ll be hungry again. We’ll just go for dinner then.” She laid the baby in the center of the queen-sized bed and piled pillows up on either side to keep her from rolling off the bed. “Why don’t we go discuss this in the sitting room?”
Nick sighed but nodded. “Yeah, why not?”
When they were settled on the comfy armchairs in the small sitting room, Autumn studied Nick for a minute before sighing. “Oprah was pretty much the way she is on television. She’s intimidating as hell but a genuinely sweet woman. I guess, if I had to rate that interview, I’d say it was a nine on a scale of difficulty.”
“Did you feel the need to just tell her the truth because it’s like she can practically see through you?”
“You could see that, too?” Well, at least she wasn’t alone.
Nick nodded. “The guys and I were on Oprah a couple years ago, and, even though she was just about nicest woman, I was still really nervous the whole time. AJ, though, spilled his guts to her. It’s like she pulled it out of him. He was so drained afterwards.”
“Yeah.” She rested her head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. “Nick. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
She let her eyelids close and let the blissful darkness drift over her. “If it’s this hard to keep this act going during the first two weeks, how much harder is it going to get in the coming months? I mean, maybe it’ll be easier if we’re not with each other. I’ll be in Peru next week, and you’ll be in Nashville. We won’t have to pretend to be in love then, but what happens when we come back?”
Hadn’t the same questions run through his mind half a thousand times in the last couple days? Hadn’t he worried over what he’d just gotten himself into? “We’ll figure it out when we get to that point. Autumn.” He waited until she opened her eyes and turned her head to see him. “Are you still pissed at me?”
She blinked. “Honestly?” He nodded. “Honestly, I think I’m just annoyed at the whole situation. You’re just playing your part, and I’m playing mine. I’m trying to make myself think that this is just another role I have to work at. I hope we do well.”
“Me, too.” They were silent for a few moments, and Nick realized that it wasn’t awkward at all to sit quietly next to her. It was a peaceful silence that didn’t need to be broken by unnecessary words. It was…nice. “When are we getting married?” he asked, breaking the silence and regretting the words when he noticed her stiffen.
Autumn sat up. “I don’t know. I don’t really have the time to plan out the huge bash that is expected of us.”
“We don’t have to have a big wedding. We’re in control here and we call the shots. Whatever we want goes,” he pointed out. “We could just have it be a small reception deal with whoever we want.”
“Right. Because that’ll really make the press hounds happy.” She shook her head. “If that’s what we want, we should just get married in one of those silly Chapels of Love. It wouldn’t be too different from a small reception.” She chuckled to herself. “I think that would actually make the press happier. They probably wouldn’t believe that we’d do something like that. You know, shock value.”
“Let’s do it.”
“What?” Quizzical green eyes met his. “Nick, I was kidding!”
Nick took her hands in hers. “Look, I’m here until tomorrow afternoon. Lily’s here, too, and I don’t think we’d have a hard time finding some private place to seal the deal. Why not just do it here and now while the three of us are together?”
“Are you nuts? Liz and the rest of our management teams would kill us if we did that!”
“This is our life, Autumn, not theirs. Don’t you just want to stop beating around the bush and just get it over with? The faster we’re married, the faster the press will get off our backs.” His gaze was intent. “You can go off to filming in Peru without worrying about a wedding that still needs to be planned, and I’ll deal with the media flurry. I don’t see anything wrong with this picture.”
Autumn had to admit she was having a hard time coming up with excuses for not agreeing to his crazy plan. “Nick.”
He heard the answer she didn’t voice and bit his lip nervously. “Trust me?”
Oh, God. “I think I might.”
He slid his eyes away from the traffic and over to look at her. Her hands were clenched in her lap as she stared out the window, a distant look in her eyes. He wondered if she was as nervous as he was. He wondered if she was starting to have second thoughts. And then he remembered that she’d had second thoughts about this from the beginning.
Well, he was catching up to her.
In the fifteen hours since they’d decided to just close their eyes and jump headfirst into the whole thing, he was finally beginning to have his doubts about the logic of doing this. Unfortunately, the situation they were in, they’d have to do it sooner or later. For the first time in his life, he realized he’d rather do it sooner.
Lily babbled in the backseat and clapped her hands, and he had to smile. Weird as it was, he was going to be a stepdad to the cutest little girl ever. And he meant that with no bias intended whatsoever. She was fun to play with and had the most expressive eyes of any child he’d seen.
At the moment, she looked absolutely adorable in a sundress the color of a summer sky. Of course, she wore a thick winter coat over it and a fuzzy hat with one of those tassel thingies because it was friggin’ negative thirty degrees in Chicago at this time of the year. It was Lily’s first time seeing snow, and, once they’d done what they needed to do, he was going to take her out and build a snowman in a park.
When he saw the sign he’d been looking for, he flicked on the indicator and waited for his right to turn. Five minutes later, they sat in a nearly empty parking lot and stared at the building that loomed ahead of them.
“Don’t we need some sort of license for this?” Autumn finally asked.
Nick shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. Whenever I’ve heard of people doing it this way, it always sounded so easy and free of paperwork. Maybe they’ll have it ready for us.”
“Maybe.”
Autumn stared up at the building and tried taking deep breaths to calm her speeding heart. She wasn’t at all sure she was ready for this, but she couldn’t see any other way around it. When her daughter giggled in the back, she turned to see Nick tickling Lily. The smile automatically filled her face at the sight. It was weird to see big, bad Nick Carter so foolishly enchanted by a tiny child, but, well, there he was.
When he noticed her watching, he offered her a smile. “Ready?”
She gulped. “As I’ll ever be.”
Inside, they stood awkwardly in the lobby and waited for someone to show up and tell them what to do. Nick carried Lily in his arms while Autumn fidgeted next to him. One moment, she was twirling a lock of hair around her finger, the next she was tugging on the woolen, violet dress she wore, and, the third, she was biting the lipstick off her lips.
“Jeez, Autumn. You’re not about to be sent to the executioner.” Nick laid a hand on her shoulder. She was freaking him out, too, and he was already freaked out enough for two of him. “It can’t seem as though we don’t want to do this, you know.”
She knew. “Right. Yeah, of course.” She nearly screamed when a middle-aged woman walked into the room, smiled at them, and took her place behind the front desk.
“Hello and welcome to Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Chapel of Love,” she greeted them cheerfully. “Will we be helping you on your road to holy matrimony?”
That’s right, Nick thought. They’d chosen one of those ridiculous places where Elvis could marry you off. “Uh, yeah. We’re really excited about this. Is it true that we can pick which Elvis we want to marry us?”
“Absolutely!” The receptionist rummaged around in a drawer and pulled out forms. “Take a few minutes to fill these out and decide which Elvis you’d like to preside over your ceremony. We’ll get things ready for you in the meantime.” She paused. “Do you have any witnesses?”
Autumn hoped she hadn’t really lost all color in her face. “Uh, we, uh, didn’t realize we needed witnesses. How many is it?”
“Two. But, don’t worry. If you don’t have your own, some of our employees can always dress up and help you out.” She studied the threesome for a moment. “Will you also want to change into retro costumes or are you okay with what you’re currently wearing?”
Nick glanced from Autumn and Lily’s dresses to his own khaki slacks and polo shirt. “I think we’re good like this. Thanks. If we could just have a couple of your employees help us out, that would be great.” He flashed her a smile. “And, if they could just keep our wedding quiet, we’d be forever grateful.”
“Oh! Of course, Mr. Carter. Miss Evans.” She nodded to Autumn. “Why don’t you go on and fill out the forms, and I’ll be right back.”
When she was gone, Autumn turned to Nick. “How could you tell she knew who we were?”
“Years of experience, my dear Watson,” Nick replied absently as he frowned, filling out the paperwork. “Why don’t you take this one,” he shoved one of the pages towards her, “and we’ll get through this faster.”
Taking a pen from the basket on the desk, she began to write in the necessary information. “Why aren’t you nervous?”
“What?”
“Nick. I’m so scared of this whole thing that I feel ready to jump out of my skin.” She shook her head. “And look at you. You look like you’re just filling out a couple of bills or something. Why aren’t you sweating bullets or needing to pace or something?”
“Because you’re nervous enough for the both of us. Hey, do you have a middle name?”
“Diana.”
He looked up from the forms and looked over at her. “Diana? Autumn Diana Evans?”
“Yeah. Is that a problem?”
Nick shook his head. “Nope. I thought it would be more like Elizabeth or something. You know plain and boring because Autumn isn’t. Sort of like a balance.”
“Well, Nickolas Gene, I thought yours would be more boring, too. Oh, wait. Gene is pretty lame, too.” She rolled her eyes. “Just keep writing.”
He shrugged. “I’m going to write our new house’s address down as place of residence for both of us. Is that okay?”
“Well, it will be our place of residence, so yeah.” She moved to the next question on her document. “Jeez, this form asks you everything under the sun. How do people get drunk and get married if it’s this complicated?”
“I guess you could ask Britney about that one.” He paused. “Oh, wait. You’re probably better off not asking her.”
Autumn couldn’t quite suppress the giggle. “I shouldn’t laugh,” she told him. “But, you’re right. I don’t think she’s the best person to get that advice from these days.”
“Or any day.”
“Mama?” Lily toddled over from the armchair where Nick had set her down. “Nick?”
Autumn set aside the form and knelt to her daughter’s level. “Hey, there. Let’s take this hat off, huh?” She plucked the woolly cap off and ruffled Lily’s curls. “Look how pretty she is. Aren’t you pretty, Lily?”
“The prettiest,” Nick agreed with a smile. “I still can’t believe I’ll be her stepdad. It’s like an unexpected present or something.”
“Or something,” Autumn echoed. “So Lilykins, what’s up?”
Lily patted her belly. “Unch?”
“It’s almost one,” Nick told Autumn. “She just had cereal this morning at eight. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah.” She searched through her bag and frowned. “That’s so odd. I always keep one of those snack bars in here for her. Just in case. I can’t find it, though.” She looked over at Nick. “Do you have anything edible that I could give her to gnaw on for now?”
Nick patted his pockets and frowned when he felt something. “I didn’t think I did, but I guess I do.” He pulled out a bag of pretzels. “Hey, they’re from the airplane!” Breaking open the bag, he held it out to Lily. “Here you go, munchkin. Chow down.”
“Nicky!” Lily squealed happily and took the package.
Autumn grinned. “Man, you’ve got every girl screaming for you, don’t you, Nick?”
“You’ve never screamed for me,” he pointed out and signed the bottom of a form before passing it over to her. “Sign there.”
She took the pen he held and added her signature next to his. “Yeah, but I’ve screamed at you. I think that counts.”
“Close enough,” he agreed and took the pretzel that Lily offered him. “Thanks, munchkin.”
“Pizzle,” Lily replied, and he grinned.
“She’s really good at learning new words.” Nick scooped Lily into his arms. “What else can you say, Lily?” He rubbed his nose against hers, making her giggle.
Autumn smiled as she watched the interaction between the tiny baby and the tall man. In such a short time, they had an adorable bond. “Lily’s been trying out words since just before her first birthday. She mastered the word ‘no’ first. It was pretty bad when that was all she would say.”
“I bet. I’m suddenly afraid of letting my siblings meet her now.” Nick kissed the tip of Lily’s nose. “After five minutes with them, she’d know every dirty word out there. You’d kill me.”
“Well, we can’t avoid them forever, either.” Though she wouldn’t have had a problem with not meeting the Carter kids. After watching House of Carters once, she was definitely apprehensive about them. “They’ll want to meet your wife and stepchild. They’re your family, and they deserve to know us.”
“Yeah.” Leaning against the counter, Nick held Lily close and wondered, for the millionth time, if all of this would be worth it in the end. He glanced at Autumn as she worried the ring on her left hand. “Hey, Autumn?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m glad we get along. For the most part,” he added. “I’m glad we’re both nervous about this and that we’re not emotionally stuck on each other. I think that’s going to make this easier.”
She sighed a little. “Yeah, you’re right. Thank you for everything, Nick.” She looked up at him, her eyes serious. “You’re sacrificing your freedom to help me out. Even though I might be angry with you a lot, I’m still grateful for all the work you’ve put into making this work.”
“You know, your anger, I can deal with. At least you’re not insane like some other women I’ve dated.” He nudged her shoulder playfully. “And you’re okay having Elvis marry us. You’re perfect!”
“Speaking of Elvis,” she looked down the hall where the receptionist had disappeared to, “where is he? Or the woman who was just here?”
He shrugged. “Maybe Elvis had to get costumed up?”
“Maybe.” And she leaned against the counter with him and waited.
A minute or so later, the receptionist appeared again and smiled at them. “Well, I have some bad news.”
“Bad news?” Nick straightened away from the counter and frowned. “What kind of bad news?”
“Well, I’m afraid we don’t have a choice of Elvises for you today,” she told him apologetically. “Our youngest Elvis and Heartthrob Elvis must have gotten the stomach flu or something because they’re both very ill in the back. If you don’t mind, we still have middle-aged Elvis available.”
Autumn found it kind of amusing that this establishment was so worried about which Elvis was to marry people. At a moment like this, did it really matter? “Uh, middle-aged Elvis is fine, too. Right, Nick?”
“Sure, baby.” He shifted Lily before running his hand down her arm and linked their fingers. “Whatever you want.”
“Great!” Autumn beamed at the receptionist. “I hope you still have those two witnesses for us.”
“Of course. If you’ll follow me, we have one of our chapels prepared for you.” She gathered up their paperwork and moved off down the hallway.
Nick and Autumn exchanged apprehensive glances before they followed her. At the door to the chapel that the receptionist had entered, Autumn stopped.
“Autumn?” He turned, his hand on the doorknob, to find her staring at the door and taking deep breaths. “You okay?”
She blinked and managed a smile for him. “I just needed a second. Ready?”
He took a deep breath now, too, before turning the doorknob and pushing it open. “As I’ll ever be.”
And, reaching back, he took her hand, and the three of them entered the chapel together.
Author's Notes:
I know it's been a while since I've updated and many, many apologies for that. However, I was on spring break, which did mean that I got a LOT written for this story, and I'm liking where it's going. So...here's the next update! Enjoy!
It had to be some sort of minor miracle, Nick decided. The kind that only ever happened in those sappy, romantic comedies that every woman he’d ever dated liked to watch. It was probably not the best idea to state aloud the fact that he’d noticed exactly what characteristics every, single one of those movies tended to have, but he’d seen so many. What was a guy to do, really, when he was stuck watching one for the five billionth time? Start critiquing them, that’s what.
He’d been watching some movie or other with Paris in her Simple Life trailer one night when they hadn’t been fighting, and, as the movie came to a close, something terrible happened to break up the couple. Something so horrible that it seemed as though all hope were lost. And then, of course, there was that minor miracle—because there was no way in hell something that happened in a chick flick could be termed a major miracle—and they’d ended up living happily ever after. The End.
Right. Like everyone who had problems in relationships ended up with a happily ever after. “Fucking bullshit” was what he’d been about to say at that moment, except that Paris had snuggled close to him—and by snuggle, he meant “jab her bony self into him and cause him much unwanted pain”—and announce that she just knew that, despite all the fights they had, she just always wanted him by her side. That he was her happily ever after.
Hey, he hadn’t been about to argue the point then. Not when there was absolutely no throwing of hairbrushes and screaming about the kind of rat bastard he was and blah-de-blah-de-blah. Needless to say, he had not been her happily ever after and he thanked every, single one of his lucky charms, God, and the powers that be that she hadn’t been his.
So, the point that he’d been trying to make by using the Paris example—insert shudder here—was that his life, right at this very moment, was being blessed with a minor miracle.
Rubbing his finger over the flash of gold on his left hand, he grinned gleefully at the rack of tabloids in one of the shops in the Nashville airport. He’d delayed his trip by a day, so he could spend it with his…Well, “wife” still sounded weird for him to say when connected with himself, so…He’d decided to spend the rest of his wedding day with his new family.
He’d taken Lily out to play in the snow as he’d promised her, and she’d loved it. They’d made snow angels and snowmen while Autumn had snapped picture after picture to put in Lily’s baby book as another first. Then, he’d pulled her into their midst, and they’d had a raging snowball fight, which ended with them soaked and snow-covered. So, they’d hurried back to their hotel room and crawled into bed with hot chocolate and watched every Disney movie the hotel had available in its menu for children.
It had been bliss.
But, it was back to reality, and the reality of the situation was that he had just married the newest darling of Hollywood in a random, and cheesy, shotgun wedding chapel à la Vegas style, and they hadn’t bothered to hide it from the people who worked at the place. So, imagine his surprise when he stopped at a rack of tabloids and saw nothing about the whole thing. Nada.
There had been no paparazzi all over him, no screaming phone calls from management or publicists or anyone—unless you could count the time Howie had called and demanded to know where the hell he was because they were on a tight schedule and couldn’t just expect their producers to wait on their every whim. Right.
“Maybe it’s all blown over,” Nick muttered, making his way to baggage claim and grabbing the small suitcase he’d brought. He ran into AJ as he stepped outside the terminal.
“Whooo-eee! You are in for it, now!” AJ grinned gleefully, slapping him on the back in lieu of a greeting.
Nick rolled his eyes. “Yeah, nice to see you, too. Thanks for picking me up.”
“Hey, better me than Howie or Brian. They start seeing red when your name is mentioned.” AJ led him out of the terminal and towards the parking garage. “So, where’d you disappear off to, anyway?”
Nick shrugged. “Stuff. Sorry I’m late and pissed those two off.”
“Okay, so you don’t wanna tell me where you were.” AJ tapped a finger to his lips thoughtfully. “Maybe you were partying and lost track of the days?”
“No.”
“You were picking out china patterns with the soon-to-be missus Carter?”
“Definitely not.” Had they even thought about china patterns? And what the hell were they anyway?
“Were you at all with Autumn and your soon-to-be stepkid?”
His lips curved at the thought of Lily covered in snow. His snowchild. “Uh…maybe?”
“Aha!” AJ stopped next to his car and pointed a finger accusingly at him. “You wanted extra TLC time with them! I knew it! I kept telling Brian and Howie that you were probably with them, but they checked in with Autumn’s people and were told that Autumn was in Chicago. Unless…” It seemed as though the proverbial light bulb had gone off in AJ’s head. “God, you are totally gone, aren’t you?”
Uncomfortable now, Nick shrugged. “Look, unless you want to spend all day chatting in the parking garage, could we maybe get into your car and get going?’
“Oh, boy. And testy, too. I think it’s kind of cute,” AJ commented as he unlocked the doors and they slid in. “I mean, I never thought big, bad Nick Carter would ever be tied down to one woman and a kid! Still can’t believe it, but, well, the facts are smacking me in the face.” He laid a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you. Seriously.”
“Thanks.” He mustered up a smile and thought, I guess everything hasn’t blown over after all.
***
“So, are congratulations in order?” Brian asked quietly as he leaned against the railing on the balcony of the hotel room they were sharing.
Nick managed to prevent the jolt of surprise at the question. Ten hours ago, when he’d finally made it to the hotel where the four of them were staying, Brian had been spitting mad, and Nick’s temper, never well-controlled, had risen to match it. Only when Howie and AJ had intervened and broken the two up, had either of them been able to calm down. They’d spent six hours in the recording studio before having dinner at a local diner and had even been spotted by fans.
Now, though, it was nearly eleven, and the stars were out over Nashville. Nick had been watching them and wondering if, wherever they were, Autumn and Lily could see the same stars. Knowing it was a stupidly sappy thing to think, he’d continued to think about them.
Miss them.
“Congratulations?” he asked Brian, a confused look on his face. “Congratulations for what?”
Brian’s eyes narrowed. “Really, Nick. How stupid do you really think I am?” He gestured towards Nick’s left hand. “I know a wedding band when I see one. I’m assuming Autumn’s wearing one, too?” When Nick said nothing, he nodded. “I thought so. If you’d just told me you were late because you decided to get married yesterday, I wouldn’t have been as pissed. I mean, I would have been mad that you got married and we weren’t invited. That’s not so nice, Nick.”
It took him a few moments to find his voice. “It’s Elvis’ fault.”
“What?”
A giggle was bubbling in his throat. “It was Elvis’ fault that we got married. What’s he doing marrying people off, anyway?”
“Oh. My. God.”
“Yeah.”
“Tell me you didn’t.”
“We did.” The giggle broke loose, and his laughter bubbled out.
Brian shook his head. “Incredible. Why isn’t it in the papers? I didn’t hear a single mention from any tabloid, radio station, or anything.”
“I know! I couldn’t believe it either.” Nick bit his lip to stop the chuckles. “It was a spur of the moment thing. I mean, she’s going off to Peru for the next two months, and we’ll be bouncing Lily back and forth between us. In all of that, we didn’t see when we could actually plan a wedding. And we just didn’t want to wait until after because then the Boys will probably do a tour. So…” He wiggled the fingers on his left hand and made the gold wink and sparkle in the moonlight.
“Wow. I don’t quite know what to say. Last time I saw you, you were just Nick. Now you’re a husband and father. And I still haven’t met your daughter.” Brian patted his shoulder. “Welcome to the Married Club.”
“There’s a club?”
“Oh, yeah. We have bi-monthly meetings where we sit around and tell each other tales of our marital bliss.” Brian grinned. “Bring your own beer.”
Nick smiled back. “So, you’re not so mad that you weren’t invited?”
“Hey, I’m not the one who’s going to be super angry with you. Have you thought about what your siblings are going to say when they find out that you got married? How about management, publicists? Nick, once news gets out, and you’re not naïve enough to think it won’t, it’s going to be bad news for you.” Brian sighed. “Tell me the two of you at least thought about having a reception for five hundred of your closest friends. Or something like that.”
Nick gulped and reminded himself that a big hoop-la over the marriage was the whole point of this arrangement. “Well, yeah, of course. Right now, though, it’s looking like it’ll probably be late March or early April before it happens, though. Besides, look at the bright side of things, Brian. Think about all the publicity this will give our album.”
“Nick.” There was a definite tone of disapproval in Brian’s soft voice. “Your marriage should be between you and Autumn. Not the rest of the world. Don’t sell it as the next big story because it’ll only hurt both of you.”
It was amazing that the man could still make him feel ashamed. “I didn’t mean to, but it’s definitely going to be a by-product of whatever media attention we receive.” But he sighed, genuinely tired now. And not just physically. “Nothing’s going exactly the way I’d planned, but, then, when have things gone according to plan for me anyway?”
“What do you want, Nick?” When Nick looked over at him, confused, Brian’s face was serious. “You’re a married man, a father, and an entertainer. You’ve got an obligation to all three and to yourself, too. Juggling all of those roles is a hell of a struggle, and I could tell you horror stories. I just want you to succeed, though. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I want you to be happy, and I know Autumn and Lily make you happy.”
“How? How can you know something like that?”
Brian smiled. “Because you lit up when you talked about them. Kinda like the way you used to when you went on and on about video games. And, because they make you happy, I hope you make them just as happy.”
Nick thought briefly of the resistance Autumn showed anytime he tried to convince her to do something that went along with their sham marriage and life together. Happy wasn’t the word he’d use. Ever. “I hope so, too. I guess I do want to just succeed at all those things. I like that you’d want that for me, too.”
“Always. So…Enough of the chick flick moments,” Brian said with a grin. “It’s sweet and all, but, uh, I can imagine we’ll be breaking out the tissues soon enough if we keep going down this road.”
“You’re so weird, Frick.” He smiled inwardly at the nickname he no longer used.
Brian looked pleased, too. “Right back at you, Frack.” He glanced at his watch. “It’s getting late, and we’ve got an early start tomorrow. We should probably get to bed soon.” His eyes flicked to Nick’s ring again before shifting to his friend’s thoughtful face. “You planning on telling AJ and Howie about your wedding?”
“Uh, yeah.” He doubted he could keep much anything secret around the guys anyway. “In the morning, before we get started.”
“’Kay.” Brian patted his shoulder. “Don’t stay out too long. ‘Night.”
“G’night.”
When Brian had disappeared back into their suite, Nick continued to lean against the railing and watched the city. His thoughts winged back and forth from his wife and stepdaughter to the looming media frenzy. Not once, though, did they touch on Liz.
AN: All credit for the inspiration behind Brian's "chick flick" comment goes to the writers of Supernatural LOL
Author's Notes:
I can't believe it either, but here's another chapter within days of the last! It must be a miracle LOL I can't promise that this will happen again, but, I hope you enjoy! Thanks for the awesome reviews and for the fact that PTW made it to the Top Ten Favorite Stories for Absolute Chaos! You guys rock!!
The storm hit while she made her way through the terminals of an airport in Mexico, trying to catch her connecting flight to Lima, Peru. Grasping her carry-on in one hand and holding tight to Lily in the other, she tried to maneuver her way through the horde of reporters and cameramen that surrounded her and followed as she tried to move quickly. Thankfully, Liz had convinced her to get a bodyguard, so he, too, was helping keep the paparazzi out of her face.
She paid no attention to the questions that were shouted to her, not wanting to invite the beasts to feed. She just wanted to get from one place to the next with as little fuss as possible.
Her ears tuned in when she heard it. Nearly jerking to a standstill at the question, Jeff, her bodyguard, kept pushing her along.
“Nearly there, Miss Evans. Come on, now. Don’t pay any attention to them,” he muttered, ushering her through. Remembering herself, she started hurrying again, but she knew they must have caught the deer in headlights look on her face at their demands.
Not allowing herself to think, she made it to her awaiting flight and settled her still-sleeping daughter into a seat and buckled them both of them in for the flight. Then, she let her head fall onto her hands and tried to think.
It had been nine days since she and Nick had gone ahead and gotten married. Nine blissful, carefree days in which she hadn’t had to worry about being stalked by the media at all hours. True, there had been the gaggle of reporters outside the supermarket when she’d gone shopping a few days earlier, and they’d been there when she had taken Lily for a haircut. But that was it. None of them really mentioned Nick nor did they ever bring up the subject of Summer.
In fact, Summer was practically out of the picture. Ever since Autumn had done her candid, national interview, her twin’s claims no longer sold as sensational. She sounded like a pitiful liar, and Autumn knew that it would burn in her sister’s heart. Nothing was over yet. Not by a long shot.
It was just beginning.
Her cell phone buzzed in her coat pocket minutes before takeoff, and she whipped it out, hoping beyond hope that it would not be Liz. If she knew her best friend, and she surely did, Liz would be supremely angry that the marriage had gone through the way it had. But what she would be even more upset, and hurt, about was the fact that Autumn hadn’t breathed a word of it to anyone. Not even to her best friend. Who was dating her husband. As odd as that sounded.
“Nick.”
There was a small hesitation before he spoke. “Hey, I was just calling to make sure you’re okay.”
“So far, I’m fine. I guess word had to get out somehow, right? All is going according to plan, right?”
“I guess. Listen, I know we didn’t actually go over how we were going to explain ourselves to management and publicity, so I was wondering if you had any ideas. Have you talked to Liz yet?”
Autumn sighed. “I feel like we both should have told her. She’s my best friend, and you’re dating her. But, no, I haven’t told her yet, which means she’s going to be pissed at both of us.”
“Juliette will probably hack me into pieces when I see her later this afternoon,” he informed her. “Her wrath will be mighty.”
She smiled a little. “Sorry about leaving you to deal with this back on the home front.”
“Hey, no sweat. I’ve dealt with worse. At least you didn’t accuse me of beating you and faking bruises,” he joked.
“Somehow, I don’t think management and our publicists will see it that way.”
“You’re right. They’ve got awful senses of humor.” There was a pause. “I was going to start moving stuff into our house tomorrow. Is that okay with you?”
Their house. She’d tried to avoid driving past it but hadn’t been able to stop herself. The realtor had handed over the keys to them two weeks earlier, and she’d taken herself and Lily on a self-guided tour through it. Lily seemed to love it as it gave her plenty of room to run around. It was a good house, but Autumn was still wary of taking the final step of living with Nick. How weird would it be between them?
“It’s fine. I haven’t even started packing my things, so you’ll have the house to yourself for a couple months.”
“Except when I’ll be taking care of Lily. Maybe I could go by your place and get her things and move them in. You want the second room on the left to be her nursery, right?” he asked.
Autumn had to picture the house in her mind, find her bearings in it. “Yeah, that’s the one. I guess you could go ahead and move her things in. It’ll give me less things to worry about moving.”
“Great. So, about the explanation? We should probably have matching ones, so it doesn’t look suspicious,” Nick suggested.
“Why can’t we just stick to the one where we just didn’t want to wait until later in the year because of our hectic schedules?”
“That’s the one I gave the guys.” He paused. “It’s simple, and that’s usually more believable. If we made up some complicated reason, we’d probably be in trouble for it.”
She could only imagine the comments they’d get. “What do we tell the people who really know what’s going on? They’re not going to believe us if we give them the not wanting to wait explanation. They know better.”
“Tricky situation we got, huh?” She could almost hear him shrug. “I’ll make something up, and let you know. See if Juliette buys it in a couple hours, and then you can use it on your team, too. What do you think?”
“At this point, what have we got to lose?”
He sighed. “You’re still mad.”
“Damn right, I am. I liked my life, my career the way they were going before this whole mess,” she admitted. “I’d like to think that I would’ve muddled my way out of the Summer situation without your help, but we’ll never know, will we? Now, I’m married to a guy I barely know. The judgement’s still out on whether or not I like you, by the way,” she informed him.
“Right back at you, babe. Look, you can stew in your anger all you want, but it’s not gonna change the fact that we’re married.”
“I know that,” she hissed, trying not to alert the other passengers by raising her voice. “And you can be sure that I will continue to stew. The media nightmare is never-ending, and I’m tired of it. I don’t think I’ll be able to stand it for the next week, let alone the whole year. I swear, Nick, you should thank your lucky stars that you’re not sitting in front of me right now. I would’ve beaten you senseless for talking me into marrying you that way. It’s just complicated everything a million times. It’ll be a miracle if my friends ever speak to me again.”
There were several moments of silence before he spoke again. “You done with your snit?”
“That wasn’t a snit. I’ll let you know if I have a goddamn snit.”
“Prissy, too. Look, we can’t change anything, and it’s okay if you’re mad at me because, frankly, I don’t really like the idea of marriage to you either. I have to be fucking celibate for the next year if we want to pull this off.”
He sounded so insulted and pained by the idea of no sex that it made her lips curve. “Well, I’m sure you’ll find some way to deal with it. I have to hang up on you now, though. We’re getting ready to taxi out on the runway. Good luck on that meeting. I hope I won’t be a widow too soon,” she added.
“Yeah, right. If I died, you’d totally play it up for all it’s worth. I’ll let you know how it goes. Give Lily a kiss for me, would ya?”
“Okay. ‘Bye, Nick.”
“Take care.”
As she watched land tilt outside her window then slowly fall away as the plane rose, Autumn prayed that they’d get through the next few days without falling on their faces. She was sure those who knew the real situation would tell them they’d leapt before looking, and she’d have to agree. But, she thought as she studied the emerald lily on her finger, there was no going back now.
***
Nick fidgeted. He fiddled his fingers, thought about whistling to himself. He tried humming one of the new songs under his breath, but the eagle-eyed receptionist glared at him. Juliette was mad, and she was keeping him waiting on purpose. He knew it. He figured she thought the wait would put the fear of God into him.
It didn’t.
“Mr. Carter.” The receptionist had a tight smile on her face. When her boss was angry, everyone’s lives were hellish. The man sitting in front of her was the cause of the anger, and thus her current crappy work situation. He deserved to feel the brunt of that frustration, she thought. “Juliette will see you now.”
He tried to smile back, but the look she shot him had him shaking his head and heading back to his publicist’s office. He knocked on the door once, heard a “come in,” and pushed the door open.
Juliette sat behind her desk and watched him enter, one brow lifted. The look in her eyes was cold enough to freeze water, and he gulped. Oh, boy.
“Hi, Juliette.” Yup, that was his voice. Timid and tiny.
She tapped one elegantly manicured nail on her desk. “Have a seat, Nickolas.”
Yeah, it was usually a bad sign when people used his full name. “Thanks for seeing me so quickly. It’s been a crazy day.”
“I’ll just bet it has.” She studied him again for a moment, making him fight the urge to squirm. “I’m thinking that it would not have been so crazy if you had let us know ahead of time that you and Autumn were planning on getting married as quickly, as rashly, as you did. If you’d let your overworked, overly harassed publicists know that you were going to get married in such a crass, cheap way, we could’ve been the ones to release the official news and in a way that would have garnered the positive press that you and Autumn so desperately need. Unfortunately, you did not inform anyone of your plans, and so I am forced to ask—What the hell were you thinking?” Her voice rose an octave as her eyes went from cold to boiling mad. “I mean, I tried to come up with reasons why the two of you would do something so stupid, so ridiculous, so Britney with such terrible timing. You were aware, were you not, that the Oscars are this weekend? That Autumn’s Oprah special aired yesterday? Every step we try to take to fix the situation, the two of you take two steps backward. What the hell is wrong with you?”
Now, she was pacing angrily, and Nick knew better than to say anything. She was right, and they both knew it. Trouble was, he was having a hard time trying to come up with how to say what he’d come to say without getting killed. So, he stayed silent, wracking his brain for the words, while Juliette continued to pace angrily and mutter to herself about the irresponsibility of clients.
There was a knock at the door, which went unanswered. After a few moments, though, the door opened anyway, and Liz slipped into the room. Nick smiled at her and started to rise to greet her, but the look she shot him froze him in place. Shit, now I’m really in for it, he thought, panic slowly creeping into him. He hadn’t seen Liz since he’d picked up Lily from her house. Before the trip to Chicago where he’d married her best friend. He’d thought he could explain to her what was happening, but, suddenly, he had no idea how he could.
He’d promised her that he would stick with her, and then he’d broken it by lying to her.
Liz ignored him and, skirting around the desk, laid a hand on Juliette’s shoulder. “I haven’t gotten through to Autumn yet. She’s not due to land in Lima for another half hour, but I’m going to have her statement no matter what. It had better be a good one,” she added firmly.
“Agreed. I haven’t gotten Nick’s yet. Too busy reaming him out first for being irresponsible,” Juliette explained. Nick decided if looks could kill, the angry darts that both women’s eyes were firing his way would’ve killed him by now.
“Understood,” Liz replied quietly. She looked away from Nick. It hurt too much to face him dead-on at the moment. But later…
He raised a hand warily. “Can I say something?”
“No.” Juliette folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. “If you open your mouth, I will be compelled to murder you. Unfortunately, that action is illegal, so I have to keep you alive. Because I do, I will make damn sure that, from now on, you follow everything I tell you to do. No exceptions, and no questions asked. You and Autumn are in trouble of monumental proportions, and it is up to us to save your sorry asses.”
“Okay.” The tiny voice was back. “Order away.”
She glanced from him to Liz and back before nodding. “Good. Now, listen closely. I don’t care what excuse you give me for your wedding happening weeks—hell, months—before it was supposed to happen because it’s not going to change the facts. So, here’s what we’re going to do…”
Their argument had been enormous, and they’d hurt each other deeply. She knew they both bled from countless wounds they’d inflicted on each other. And, yet, she knew they’d just keep hurting each other. It was just the way their relationship was made to be. But, as she watched him walk away from her, what she didn’t know was how she would ever survive without him. Even as the tears filled her eyes, Autumn called out to him.
“Please, don’t go.” The words were a whisper in the wind, but he heard them and turned. Waited. “I’m sorry,” she began, taking the steps towards him. “I know you’re angry with me, and I know we hurt each other. I just—I just couldn’t bear it if you walked away. Stay with me. Please.”
He resisted the urge to touch her, knowing there was more. The more that he could see in her eyes. “Why?”
“Because I-” The words stuck in her throat. They were so difficult to get out, and then she had an image of him walking away in her head. Perhaps…perhaps, they weren’t so difficult after all. “Because I love you. I’m in love with you.”
His arms were around her in a flash. “Right answer,” he murmured before his lips caught hers in a kiss.
“Cut! And that’s a wrap for tonight!” The director grinned at the two actors. “Perfect! You’ve got the rest of the night off. See you in the morning.”
Autumn stepped back from her co-star and smiled. “And it only took us two hours to get it right.”
Logan Jamison smiled back as they headed towards their trailers. “Damn lighting gets us every time.” He stopped at his trailer while she continued on to hers. “Hey, Autumn. I like working with you. It’s fun.”
She beamed at him. “I’m glad! You’re a piece of cake to work with, too.”
“Good to know. You’ll have to let my soon-to-be ex-wife know. She thinks I’m hell to get along with,” he replied good-naturedly.
“Next time I see her, I will.”
“Great. Have a good night and give that kid of yours a kiss for me,” he told her before slipping into his trailer.
“I will,” she murmured and pulled open the door to her own trailer. Lily was curled into a ball on the cushy sofa, while the director’s daughter, who she’d persuaded into babysitting, flipped through a magazine. “Hey, Mel. How was she today?”
The seventeen-year-old smiled. “An angel. As always. She just fell asleep a half hour ago. We went to that small park a couple blocks away, and she loved the slide. I think it tired her out, though.”
“Hopefully, she’ll sleep straight through the night,” Autumn murmured, lifting the toddler. “I haven’t made it to the bank yet this week, Mel. Is it okay if I pay you tomorrow?”
Mel shrugged as she got her things together. “I know you’re good for it. Besides, I’d do it for free anyway. Lily’s adorable.”
“Well, thanks. I’m glad you decided to spend spring break out here. Saves me having to go through the hassle of finding a babysitter.” She laid Lily in her carrier. Her baby was still tiny enough to fit, and Autumn continued to use the vehicle as it was easier than a stroller at this point. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Sure. Eleven-thirty, right? I think I saw that on dad’s schedule.” Mel pulled the strap of her bag onto her shoulder. “I could just take Lily from the hotel, if you want.”
“Whatever works. Thanks, Mel.” She, too, gathered up her own belongings to take back to the hotel room she’d been living in for the past month.
Mel paused, one hand on the door. “Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you, but your husband called a couple hours ago. Lily chattered with him for, like, an hour. She loved it, and I could tell Nick did, too. It’s cute how much he calls you guys. I never thought Nick Carter would ever settle down and be so in love with someone.”
Autumn’s hands stilled on her bag. It was still a jolt to remember that Nick was her husband, that he’d been her husband for a month. She should be used to it by now, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t used to the nearly daily phone calls, either. They always came when she wasn’t around, and she knew they were both avoiding each other. But, she secretly had to agree with Mel. She’d never thought of Nick Carter as the settling down kind of guy.
It took her a moment to remember that Mel was still waiting for some kind of response. Fixing a smile on her face, she turned. “Thanks for letting me know. You’re right, it is adorable that he calls us all the time. We miss him, too.”
“I bet. Well, have a good night!” Mel disappeared out the door, and Autumn set her things aside and plopped onto the sofa.
It had been just over three weeks since everyone had discovered that Nick Carter and Autumn Evans had tied the knot. In those three weeks, the media buzz had gone from “What were they thinking?” over the manner in which they’d married to “Aww, it’s so cute how much they must have loved each other and been unable to wait to get married”. Whatever their reaction, though, the main hype had died down after two weeks. Sure, there were still the constant demands for an interview with both of them, but management had stuck to a hard and fast line. Autumn Evans was shooting on-location for a film, and Nick Carter was busy working on the Backstreet Boys’ new album.
In reality, management and their publicists had no desire to see Autumn and Nick open their mouths to the media. They were probably right, too.
However, despite all the buzz and the anger of their individual teams, Nick had completely thrown himself into being a husband. Even if it was an act, and even though it was from afar. He’d been reported as telling his friends that his wife was incredible, that she was the love of his life. That his new daughter was the most precious gift he’d ever been given in his life.
Only the last, Autumn knew, was remotely true. While everything else was a lie, the fact that Nick doted on Lily was the absolute truth. Not a day went by that Lily didn’t receive some sort of toy, piece of clothing, or whatever that had caught Nick’s eye. If she wasn’t careful, he was going to spoil her irreparably.
As she toyed with the ring on her finger, she knew that she’d stopped being angry with him somewhere around week three of their marriage. It was pointless, and he was just as much a victim of the situation as she was. At least he was making the best of it.
She wondered how he and Liz were doing, then shook the thought off. It was their business, and Liz was still too upset with her to talk. Though it hurt, she knew she’d hurt her best friend, too. There were no excuses good enough.
Sighing a little over the state of her affairs, Autumn stood and, grabbing her things, lifted Lily’s carrier and carried it out to where her assigned chauffeur waited beside a car. Maybe, if she wasn’t too tired, she’d try calling Nick in an hour or so.
Maybe.
***
Two days later, she still hadn’t called him, but, at the moment, it probably wasn’t the best idea to worry about it. Autumn paced her trailer, reciting her lines for the next scene. The crew was setting up the sound stage, so she’d taken the extra time to brush up on her lines.
Her makeup felt too heavy on her face, and the short, strapless red dress she wore was just a little too tight. She tugged at the low neckline, trying to bring it back up to ensure she was covered comfortably. Of course, the dress had a mind of its own and refused to cooperate. So, she was stuck with a “heaving bosom”. She figured that was what the scene required anyway, so she’d deal with it.
There was a short rapping sound on her door and a voice called to her. “Evans, on set. Thirty seconds.”
“Okay,” she called back. Brushing back her unbound curls, she took a deep breath and stepped out in character.
They shot and re-shot the scene in which she was nearly killed by a masked gunman at a country club Valentine’s Day dance. Under the glaring lights of the set, there was no way to prevent the sweat that dripped down her face. The makeup artist dabbed it off and retouched her makeup between every take while Autumn and her fellow actors guzzled water.
Like eager vultures to a kill, the ever-present crowd of reporters tried to catch glimpses of the set and its actors. Security held them back, and, for the most part, those that worked diligently on their scenes didn’t notice them.
Until a cheer went up in the middle of a re-shoot.
“Cut!” The director scowled. “What the hell is going on? Why don’t I have silence on my set?”
Autumn squinted in the direction of the cheering and frowned. The reporters were turned away from the set, which meant there was something, or someone, else going on.
“See anything?” Logan asked as he came to stand next to her.
“Nothing. I wonder what’s going on.” But it was dark and hard to tell.
Then, she saw him. Even as her heart begun to thud, she stood watching as he made his way towards them. Security obviously hadn’t bothered to hold him back.
“Hey, isn’t that your-” Logan turned to find she’d disappeared. When he turned back, he saw her.
Autumn didn’t know what compelled her to do it, but she was nearly running towards him. She couldn’t tell anyone, not even herself, why her heart beat the way it did, but it was speeding. She came to a halt in front of him.
A fist had surely knocked the breath out of him, he thought. If it was possible to become incredibly attractive within a few weeks, she’d done it. Nick had always known she was beautiful, but it had never really affected him. Now, though…
“Hi.” Her voice was soft.
“Hi.” His was just as quiet. Then he grinned. “It’s good to see you.”
And then they were wrapped up in each other’s arms as dozens of flashbulbs went off around them. “It’s good to see you, too,” she whispered into his ear before burying her face against his throat. Breathing him in, she wondered what was happening to them. What it all meant.
Author's Notes:
It's BAA-ACK! I know it's been a few weeks since this was updated, but I've just been super swamped with work and school lately. But, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!
Nick sat on the sofa and cradled Lily in his arms. He hadn’t been able to get enough of his stepdaughter and had played with her until she’d tired herself out and fallen asleep. He smiled to himself over how excited she’d been to see him. She’d nearly fallen out of the high chair she’d been strapped into when she’d seen him.
“Nick!” she’d shrieked with joy over and over again.
Now, he stroked his fingers through her tangled dark curls and marveled at how perfect she was. Her beauty matched Autumn’s feature for feature.
Autumn.
Just when he’d finally figured out that the two of them would simply be polite to each other for the rest of their marriage and there would be no love lost between them, he’d seen her running towards him. His heart had skipped a beat. There was no other way to describe it, he thought, and looked over to study her. She was engrossed in a magazine, her face devoid of all the camera makeup she’d worn earlier. Instead of the outrageously provocative red dress, she was clad in baggy pajamas and a huge t-shirt.
She should’ve looked hideous, but she didn’t.
Why, he thought, did he find her so attractive now? What had happened in the last month that had his stomach doing flip-flops when he saw her now?
“Nick?”
He glanced up to find her watching him with concern. “Yeah?”
“Do you want me to tuck Lily in? You don’t have to sit with her if you have something else you’d rather be doing.” Autumn put the magazine aside and stood. “If you wanted to go out or something, see the nightlife, you could.”
And why was she so ready for him to run for the nearest club and random hookup? “Nah. I like sitting here with her. Besides, it wouldn’t look too good for our marriage if, on the first night we’re together in a month, I went to a club or something without you. Don’t you think so?”
“Uh, well, yeah. I guess.” She shrugged. “I just don’t want you to be bored or anything.”
“I’m not. I’m happy to just chill right here.”
She frowned for a moment before shrugging it off. “Suit yourself.” And she went back to her armchair and picked up the magazine again.
Nick sat silently for a few minutes before he spoke again. “Hey, Autumn?”
“Hmm?” Her response was absentminded as she flipped a page.
He contemplated how best to begin the conversation that he knew had been waiting to happen for some time. “Why don’t you and I get along anymore? We used to be all buddy-buddy, and then we weren’t. Did I do something to piss you off? Because I’ve spent the last month trying to figure it out, and I still don’t have the answers.”
The magazine was shut and lay in her lap now as she linked her fingers together and studied him, a slight frown creating lines on her forehead. “I don’t understand,” she said finally. “Why are you asking this?”
“Because I’m tired of avoiding you, of constantly being on the defensive around you. If we’re going to be living together, spending time together, I want to be comfortable, be myself around you. Why don’t you like me?” he asked again.
Autumn sighed. “Because you don’t like me. You treated me like I was an immature child that needed to be patted on the head and led back to the right path. It was insulting, and it just showed that you don’t respect me. How else am I supposed to deal with you when you treat me that way?”
“When did I treat you like a child?” Shock was bubbling within him. He’d never done that, had he? He’d always treated her with respect, but she’d always clawed at him over everything. “I’ve always respected you. I don’t think there’s that many people that I respect more than you.”
It was her turn to be shocked. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Then why are you always on my case to be smarter about everything?”
“Because you’re still new to the industry. I’ve been playing the game for years, but you just got started. I just don’t want to see you drown like so many people have done before. That’s why I always told you to be smarter.” But he was beginning to see where he’d gone wrong. Of course, he wasn’t alone. “So maybe I was wrong. But I wasn’t the only one. You’ve always made me feel like an inconsiderate asshole.”
“Because you acted that way!” She, too, was beginning to see what had gone wrong. “I liked you in the beginning, before this whole mess happened. Sure, I felt bad for you with the family you have, but I liked you. You were there for me when things went bad with Jack. Besides, I’d never have invited you to Thanksgiving dinner if I hadn’t enjoyed your company and thought of you as a friend.”
“So what happened?” Nick wondered after several long moments of silence. “Because I liked hanging out with you, too. It felt good. But now…”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I guess we could always blame it all on Summer’s big mouth.” She smiled a little. “If it hadn’t been for her, we wouldn’t be married right now, we’d still be friends-”
“And I’d still be in the dark about Lily,” Nick finished for her. “Somehow, I don’t think that would’ve gone over too well either way. Let’s just say that it’s been a whole bunch of complicated things that happened and made us hostile towards each other. How’s that?”
Autumn nodded, ashamed. “I should’ve told you. I’m sorry, Nick. Really, I am. I just wanted to protect her from the public eye. I’d always seen how celebrities’ kids were scrutinized, and I just didn’t want that to happen to her. I wanted her to grow up and be a normal, happy kid.”
“She seems pretty happy to me, and she’s definitely in the public eye now,” Nick pointed out. “But I can understand why you wanted to protect her. Sometimes, I look at my siblings, especially Aaron and Angel, and I wonder how they would’ve turned out had they not been my siblings and stayed out of the spotlight.”
She didn’t want to see the sadness creep into his eyes at the mention of his brother and sisters and could tell that he blamed himself. She didn’t want to feel sympathy for him, but she did. Nick Carter, she thought, had a lot of flaws, but she didn’t think being a bad brother was one of them.
“You know, I’ve been reading up on this family of yours, Nick. I thought I should know about my in-laws, you know,” she began, in a much lighter tone. “Seems to me that I have one, very interesting mother-in-law.”
“Yeah, if you like to call psychotic the same as interesting.”
She ignored the comment and pushed on. “I don’t think being your sibling was a bad influence so much as having a power-hungry mother was. Parents are supposed to watch out for their children, take care of them, and protect them from whatever bad influences there are in the world. Your mother, Nick, despite whatever intentions she may have had, did neither of those things. She’s the one to blame. Not you.”
He was quiet for so long that she thought he hadn’t heard her or was angry with her for intruding on what was his personal business. When she opened her mouth to apologize for overstepping her bounds, he spoke again.
“I know you’re right. Everything you’re telling me, I’ve been told by all the Boys and, hell, the therapist, too. It’s a lot harder, though, to believe it than it is to say that it wasn’t my fault.” Nick summoned up a smile for her, though. “But, thanks. Thank you for saying that.” He held out a hand. “We’ve managed to be pretty calm around each other for the last half hour. I hope that means that we can be friends.” His smile widened in an attempt to convince her.
She glanced from his hand to that damnably wicked smile and tried to remind herself that this was Nick. Just Nick. But if that were so, her mind whispered, why was she suddenly so nervous about placing her hand in his?
“I’d like that,” she said finally. Moving over to the couch, she took his hand and shook it. And then she was unbelievably moved when he laced his fingers with hers and kissed her fingers.
“Good,” he murmured over their hands, knowing that she was uncomfortable with his actions. “Because it’ll make it a lot easier to tell you about how I ran into your sister yesterday.”
Her jaw dropped as her hand slid out of his. “What?! When? How? Where?” The thought of Summer with Nick made her blood run cold. “What did she say to you?”
“Hey.” Nick gently lifted Lily out of his lap and placed her on the sofa next to him, before turning to take Autumn’s hands in his. Her face was pale, her eyes huge and worried. “It’s okay. She didn’t eat me or anything. It was just weird, and, when she was gone, I had this feeling that I just needed to be here. With you.”
Autumn let out a shaky breath. “She didn’t upset you? Hurt you in any way? Because she’s really good at causing emotional damage.”
“Nope. Whatever she said just bounced off me.” He squeezed her hands reassuringly. “I’ll tell you about it.”
Racks upon racks of children’s clothing surrounded him, and there was such a huge selection that he was feeling a bit lost. Imagine that. Nick Carter, lost among clothing for little girls. It was a sacrifice all in itself for him to actually step foot into a store that sold nothing that he could use, but he’d gladly sacrifice a lot for his little girl. Because that’s what Lily was. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t her biological father, nor did it matter that the only reason he was her stepfather was for a publicity stunt. Nope. Lily was his because he loved her and she, with her adorable, gurgling laugh and huge green eyes, loved him right back. It was scary and it was incredible.
So, here he was, in a baby clothes store, checking out outfits for her.
“Not in pink,” he muttered to himself. Pink was far too ordinary for his Lily. “Maybe yellow?” And he began to pick his way through the racks towards the ones bedecked in yellow fabrics.
As he contemplated the virtues of one dress against the virtues of another, he didn’t notice the cameras clicking away outside the boutique. If he had, he might have played it up a little more and talked to the sales associates, gushed about his two beautiful girls. He didn’t do any of that because, in his mind, all he could see was how Lily would look in either of the two dresses he held in his hands.
Finally deciding on one, he plucked it off the rack and turned towards another rack, thinking that he could try to put together a little outfit for his baby. Maybe tiny pants and a cute shirt. Hopefully, he could put her outfit together in a less-than-fugly way. He never had much luck with his own clothing choices, but maybe he could do better for Lily.
Then, he saw her. For a split second, his heart leaped at the idea that Autumn was back in LA. Near him. The implications of that thought made him pause for a second before he realized that the woman walking towards him was not Autumn.
“Hello, Nick.” There was a smile on her lips, though it looked like the kind a barracuda would have before it devoured something. Her eyes gleamed with malice or mischief. Maybe both. But, looking into them, he knew he’d always be able to tell the twins apart. Autumn’s eyes didn’t have that harshness in them nor were they full of that cold, cold light.
“Summer.” He managed to find his voice, despite the shock he felt at actually meeting the woman who’d landed him in the current position he was in.
Her smile widened. “Glad to see you can tell the twins apart. So, tell me, how is your wife? Upset that she has to work instead of honeymoon with her beloved husband?”
“How did you find me?” he asked, ignoring her question.
Summer gestured to the photographers outside the store. “I was just walking down the street when I saw them, so I knew someone with fame was in here. Just my luck that it happened to be you.” Her fingers reached out to stroke over his. “I never had the chance to…welcome you to the family.”
He slid his hand out of hers and took a deliberate step back. “Save it. I don’t care what you have to do or say. You can’t hurt me, and you sure as hell can’t touch Autumn or Lily anymore.”
“You would think so, wouldn’t you?” Those sharp, green eyes flashed with deep hatred. “I can get to my sister in ways you can’t even imagine. I know her.”
“No,” Nick shook his head, “you don’t. You barely let yourself get to know her. She’s told me all about the time you lived with her. I know what you are. I’ve spent a good part of my life living with a woman like you. You can’t hurt me, and, if you even try to get near Autumn, I’ll make sure you never try it again.”
The smile vanished from her face as her hand balled into a fist at her side. “Are you threatening me, Nick?”
“Damn right, I am. Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of because we don’t need you. And we sure as hell don’t care what happens to you.” He took great pleasure in watching her cheeks pale and her eyes darken with anger.
“Oh, I’ll crawl back to my hole, alright. But, next time you see my sister, you let her know that this isn’t over yet. The two of you may have diverted all the negative press by getting married, but it doesn’t mean that I’m finished.” Summer took a step away from him, towards the door. “I’ll be finished when she’s back at the bottom. When she’s so humiliated that she won’t be able to look at herself in the mirror. That’s when I’ll be done.”
The bell above the door jingled as she stepped onto the sidewalk and disappeared, leaving Nick standing with his arms full of tiny clothes. Wondering and, now, worrying about Autumn. No, nothing was over yet. Obviously, not by a long shot.
The crews were loading up camera equipment, stage lights were scattered around in the grass, and shouts could be heard from different workers, giving orders. One of the director’s assistants rushed around with paperwork, checking off and making certain that all of the equipment that had arrived with the crew two months ago was still present and being properly packed away for the trip back to the filming studio’s warehouse.
The actors’ trailers were slowly moving off the lot, and the scene looked considerably less cluttered than it had the day he’d arrived, two weeks earlier. Filming had wrapped up a few weeks ahead of schedule, which meant that everyone was happy to have vacation time, time to relax and forget the grueling work they’d just done.
Everyone, that is, except Autumn.
Since that first night when he’d told her about his encounter with Summer, Autumn had retreated into a shell. She was nothing but friendly towards him, but, whenever he suggested they spend time together, go out somewhere, have a little fun, she’d shut him down. He hadn’t seen her smile, really smile, in weeks. His gut instinct told him that her withdrawal—noticed by others on set, too—wasn’t because of him.
Summer had, he hated to admit, been right. She did know her sister, and she’d gotten to her. Autumn was jumpy, anxious, and snappish. Nick knew it was because she was going to be near her sister again, not knowing when the hovering axe of Summer’s threat would drop.
Now that filming had ended on her movie, all three of them were headed back to LA. Nick to finish up work on the Backstreet album, and Autumn to move her things into their home and unwind from her months of work. She acted as though going back home would kill her. Wishing that he hadn’t told her what had happened, though, wouldn’t change a thing.
Nick hoisted Lily on his hip and carried her around the moving planks of wood from the sound stage and ducked beneath the swinging lamps that had yet to be dismantled. He made his way towards Autumn’s trailer, which was one of the last three remaining. Sticking his head through the door, he saw that all the furniture was gone, and his lovely wife was busily packing up the last of her things while on the phone.
“I know. I know it’s great that we finished early…Yes, they were here the whole time.” Autumn spotted Nick and Lily and gestured them in. “Nick and I were on our best behavior. I promise…Uh huh. Didn’t you see the footage that Access Hollywood had on us?…No, I’m not making fun of you.” She rolled her eyes at Nick and mouthed “management”.
Nick nodded, understanding completely why she looked a little annoyed. Setting Lily down so she roamed around the bare trailer, he leaned against one wall and listened to Autumn’s end of the conversation.
“I thought we weren’t allowed to have interviews…No, that’s what you said.” She began to pace now. “I think that’s going a little overboard, don’t you?…It’s booked already? You’re kidding me. What about down time? Vacation? I might just burn out if I keep going like this…What do you mean tour? I’m not—no way.” Her right foot connected with the wall in a frustrated motion. “Does he know? Do the Boys even know? Then why do I have to stop my work, my life for—I’m sorry. Yes, I understand…Okay. We’ll talk when I get back. Yeah…Bye.” Autumn snapped her cell phone shut and whirled on Nick, one finger pointing accusingly at him. “Is this your idea of a joke? Because it’s not funny.”
He frowned. “What did I do?”
“I have to go on tour with you in a few weeks!” She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. “I don’t have time to do that. So you’d better come up with a reason why I can’t go with you. Please, Nick.” The anger disappeared and, in its place, was a pleading desperation that showed in her eyes. “I really can’t travel like that. I need time to just settle.”
Considering this was the first he’d heard about definite plans for a Backstreet tour, his frown deepened. “I hadn’t heard anything solid about the tour yet. Who were you just talking to?”
“Liz. She’s been in touch with your management company, who told her what was going on. Nick.” Autumn took his hands in hers. “Please tell me there’s been a huge misunderstanding and there’s really no tour.”
Nick didn’t know what to tell her as the idea of a tour in a few weeks sounded ridiculous when they hadn’t even released a new single yet from their album nor did they even know the name or layout of it. “I-I don’t know,” he admitted. “I thought we were just working on plans for the album right now. That’s probably the next big thing for me.”
She frowned now, too. “There’s no tour for the album is there? I mean, you don’t have to do anything like that, right?”
Shit. “Well, I…”
“Oh, god. Fabulous.” She whirled away, muttering to herself. “I can’t believe this! First, we had to get married, then we had to deal with the media. Hell, we’re still dealing with the media. Now, I have to go on tour with you? Nick, maybe this wasn’t such a great plan after all.”
“Well, it’s a little late to go back and fix it without ruining both of our images. If we got a divorce now, the press would speculate on the reasons behind our marriage in the first place.” He sighed. “We hadn’t been ‘dating’ for that long before we tied the knot, you know. They’ll probably start watching to see if you’re gaining any weight if we split.”
Her brows lifted. “Do you really think people think we got married because I’m pregnant? You can’t be serious.”
“It’s just the way these things work, Autumn.” Nick rested one hand on her shoulder. “I think we just need to play this charade out for a few more months, and then we’re done. I mean, hey, it’s already the end of April, and we haven’t killed each other. Maybe we even like being around each other?”
“Maybe.” But she let one hand lay over the hand he’d left on her shoulder. “I just wish this could all be over, you know? And you’re not going to be thrilled, exactly, when I tell you about the photo interview we have to do with Vanity Fair.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” A photo interview? Who the hell were they turning into? “Isn’t that just a little too Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?”
“You’re telling me.” She stepped away to grab Lily before the toddler fell out of the trailer. “I tried to explain that neither of us is the type and that the point of us not giving interviews was because management is too afraid of us opening our mouths and wrecking something further. But did anyone listen to me?”
Nick rubbed the back of his neck as a tension headache began to brew at the base of his skull. “This sucks.”
“No kidding.” She sighed heavily. “What, exactly, have we gotten ourselves into here? And why?”
His eyes lifted from the floor to meet hers. “We’re married, and, if things keep going this way, we’ll both be a little more famous and successful at the end.”
“Well.” She bit her lip. “At least we’ve got each other.”
Nick nodded. “Sure, yeah.” After a moment’s pause, he asked, “When’s the interview?”
“The day after tomorrow. At our new home.”
***
The airport was horrendous. If they’d thought arriving separately in Peru had been bad, the arrival in LAX beat it all to hell. Three times over.
Dozens of paparazzi literally crowded around them and clambered over each other to get the best shots of the IT couple and their child. Though they had three bodyguards surrounding them, Nick still kept an arm around Autumn, holding her against his side with Lily squished between the two of them. When they’d gotten off the plane, Lily had been fast asleep in Autumn’s arms, but, with all the noise from the paparazzi, she’d woken up and now clung to Nick, afraid of the flashes and shouted questions from reporters.
“Is she still crying?” Autumn tried to crane her neck to see Lily’s face, though it was buried against Nick’s neck.
Nick brushed a kiss over Lily’s hair as she tried to cover her eyes. “The damn flashbulbs are freaking her out. Goddamn cameramen.”
Neither dared say anything to the press, though. Making eye contact with any of the hordes around them was bad, but actually acknowledging their presence by asking them to shut the hell up? That would get them the kind of press they didn’t need. So Nick hugged Lily closer and tried to sing softly to calm her down as Autumn watched worriedly.
At long last, they made it out of the terminal and directly into a waiting car. Both of their management teams had decided that it would be best if they were chauffeured home as everyone knew of Nick’s driving record. Neither Nick nor Autumn cared who drove and how, just as long as they could get home in peace.
Peace, though, was not to be had.
Liz sat on the far side of the backseat and waited for them to settle in before she spoke. “Well, you’re certainly beating every other celebrity couple in the polls,” she remarked, studying the reporters that were being held back by security.
Nick made no move towards her. “We’re great, too. How about you?” He rolled his eyes. “At this point, we don’t care if we’re Mr. and Mrs. Nobody. We just want some damn quiet.”
“And you’re not going to get it right now,” Liz replied, watching the way Nick tried to soothe Lily, who was beginning to calm down.
Autumn reached for her daughter. “I can take her, Nick. You’ve quieted her down a lot. I can do the rest.”
“Nah, Lily and I are good. Right, munchkin?” He rubbed his nose against Lily’s, eliciting a gurgling laugh from her.
“Nick!” she squealed, her drying tears now forgotten. “Hug?”
He grinned at Autumn. “Told ya.” He complied with Lily’s wish, and Autumn found the sight of her tiny child wrapped up in Nick’s arms terribly endearing. He probably could have fit three Lily’s in that embrace. Nevertheless, it made her smile when Nick’s eyes met hers.
“Love you,” Lily told him as she leaned back in his arms, and Autumn watched Nick’s eyes darken with emotion.
“I love you, too,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead and holding her closer. “I love you, too.”
For a moment, the three of them sat quietly, taking pleasure from the fact that they were together. Then Liz cleared her throat, and the bubble of joy popped.
“This is a really sweet, Kodak-worthy moment,” she began, “but you should probably save it for the interview tomorrow. The photographer will lap it up.”
Autumn’s jaw dropped. “Liz! I don’t know why you’re so bent on staying angry with us, but it’s getting a little bit ridiculous.”
“You know what’s ridiculous, Autumn? Try working sixteen, seventeen hour days because the press is having a field day with the two of you. Try explaining to the dozens of media sources that call me, asking what the deal is with the two of you. I’ve been picking up your mess for weeks, months, now, and I’m tired of it. So excuse me if I’m getting to be a little bit ridiculous.” Liz yanked open the thick black binder in her lap. “Now, if we could get started going over your schedule for the next several days, that would be just peachy.”
Nick and Autumn exchanged wary glances. He didn’t think Liz was being fair, exactly, when it came to how she was treating Autumn, but he knew exactly why she was being so bitchy with him. He hadn’t exactly made the time to see her during that month between the wedding and his trip to Peru. He’d meant to because he did care about her and had wanted to spend time with her. Unfortunately, he’d had to show up at all the right parties and events and appear to be happy as the man newly married to Hollywood’s next big actress. Between the public appearances and the recording process for the album, he hadn’t been able to talk to her, explain his actions. For that, she was still angry with him.
He could only hope that he hadn’t broken her heart.
Author's Notes:
Bwahahahaha! I found SOME of my muse! Yay! This chapter, and all the chapters from here on out, will be longer than any of the ones in this story usually are, but they will, hopefully, be jampacked with action! I can't promise I know when the next update will be, but I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the lovely review, and happy May Day!
When the car pulled through the gates of the Nick and Autumn’s home, the group fell silent. Except for Lily.
“Layla!” she shrieked when she saw the house.
Nick turned a questioning gaze towards Autumn, and she shrugged.
“I took her by the house a while back,” she explained, nervously twisting her engagement ring on her finger. “I, uh, met your sister BJ because she had brought Layla over to get accustomed to the place. Lily loves your dog.”
“Our dog.”
“Hmm?” Autumn reached out and grabbed Lily before the toddler could fling open the door and fall out of the car.
“I said Layla’s our dog now. We’re technically a family, so my dog is your dog.” He smiled a little. “Layla’s a little attention-starved anyway because I’m never around. She’ll love Lily. Obviously, Lily already loves her.”
“Nicky?” Lily heard her name and looked up at him with her big, big eyes. “Layla? Pease?”
Autumn chuckled, despite the tension that still raged in the car. Plucking Lily up, she pushed open the car door and stepped out. She stuck her head back in the car and looked over at Liz. “I’ll talk to you later. I hope that’s okay, Lizzie.”
Liz didn’t spare her a glance. “Apparently, I am here to serve. You can do whatever you want. Go to hell for all I care.”
As Autumn absorbed the shock and the pain of her best friend’s words, Lily piled back into the car and leaped into Liz’s arms, knocking the binder and notebook aside. “Bye bye, Auntie Wiz! Love you!” And she smacked a kiss on Liz’s cheek.
From where he was sitting, Nick could see the shock, the pain, and the pleasure run over Liz’s face, and he had to smile when he saw her gather Lily in close and press a kiss to her forehead.
“I love you, too, lil’ Lily,” Liz murmured before letting the baby slide out of her grasp. “I love you, too.”
When Lily had climbed into Autumn’s arms and mother and daughter stepped away from the car to head into the house, Liz picked up her scattered belongings and got busy with her schedules again. Several moments later, she looked up to find Nick still seated next to her with a curious expression in his eyes.
“Nick? Aren’t you getting out?”
He shrugged. “Listen, I think we both know that we need to talk. How about I send this car home and then drive you back to your office or apartment?”
“What makes you think I want to talk to you?” Liz knew she was being childish, but she couldn’t help it. He was breaking her heart, bit by agonizing bit.
Nick had figured things wouldn’t be easy, but he hadn’t expected a teenage-worthy resistance from her. “Please, don’t do that. I don’t want to leave things this way between us, so please just listen. Just this once and then you can do what you want afterwards. Please?”
She was quiet for long moments before finally sighing. “Fine. I don’t have too much time, but I can give this an hour.”
“Great!” He leapt out of the car and held out a hand to help her climb out.
Liz ignored it and stepped out. “You’re right that we need to talk, and I can’t promise to be absolutely sensible. But I can promise that I’ll listen.”
He nodded. “That’s all I need.” He looked back at the open front door and then at Liz. “Let me tell Autumn where I’ll be, and then we’ll be off.”
“Sure,” Liz murmured as he spoke to the driver of the chauffeured car and then headed towards the house. She’d felt in the dark about so much with Nick for too long, but, as she heard Lily’s delighted squeals from inside, she wondered if she was finally beginning to see the light.
***
They drove in silence to Liz’s apartment. As she lived on nearly the opposite side of the city from where Autumn and Nick were now located, the drive took nearly an hour with the traffic interfering. The silence was stifling, suffocating, and Nick wanted so badly to say something. Anything.
“How’ve you been?” he finally asked.
Liz continued to stare out the window at the cars that sat alongside them in traffic. “Busy. You already know that.”
Nick tried again. “Actually, I wanted to know how you’ve been besides work.”
There was a few moments’ silence before she spoke again. “Work is my life right now. I live, breathe, eat, and sleep work. I’m not just Autumn’s manager anymore. I’m her agent, manager, publicist, and spokesperson. So when you ask how I am outside of work…I’m not.”
“We never wanted you to give up yourself for us. For this,” he replied quietly.
And just like that, hearing the quiet apology in his voice, the tears that had been held off for weeks spilled forth. “I know,” she whispered, not trusting her voice.
Nick shifted his gaze from the road to her face and was horrified at the sight of tears. He didn’t take female waterworks too well. God knew why he still couldn’t handle them after all the years of hysterical women he’d grown up with. “Liz, please, please don’t cry. Look, I didn’t mean to hurt you with this publicity stunt. I never meant for everything to get so out of control. I care about you. I do, and so I can’t see you cry like that.” And yet, the helpless tears continued to flow, and Nick had to resist the urge to squirm. He didn’t even have tissues to spare. Ok, stupid thought, Carter. But how could he possibly prevent himself from hurting her when he’d already begun to do it?
The next ten minutes of Nick’s life were some of the most awkward, horrific, and painful minutes that he’d ever had. That included everything he’d been through with the Boys and his family. At least, with them, he hadn’t been the one hurting them first. With Liz, there was no one and nothing else to blame but himself and his lack of everything required to be a good boyfriend.
When he finally scooted his car off the highway and onto the exit ramp for Liz’s area of the city, he didn’t think he’d ever been so relieved. At least she wasn’t sobbing so horribly anymore. Now, she’d slid sunglasses over her eyes and just dabbed at her eyes every so often.
As soon as they pulled into a parking space in the apartment complex’s parking garage, Liz bolted out of the car and headed straight for her building. Nick, even with his long strides, had to hurry to keep up. He wondered who she was running from? Him or the conversation they were about to have?
“Well, what’d you really expect, Nick?” he questioned himself. “I mean, let’s be serious here. You ignored her for two months while you played hubby, even though you told her—you fucking promised her that you wouldn’t hurt her. That you’d always be by her side.” And then he realized he was muttering to himself aloud, and the little old woman that passed him in the hall was giving him weird looks. “Right. And now people will think you’re nuts, too. What the fuck is wrong with me?”
The last question was spoken as he stepped over the threshold and into Liz’s apartment. She’d obviously heard because the first words out of her mouth were, “You know, I was going to ask the same thing. And then I was going to ask what the hell is wrong with me?” She sat in an armchair, her back stiff and straight.
Feeling awkward and like a fish out of water, he sat on the couch opposite from her. “Liz, I don’t even know where to start to answer your questions. To tell you how sorry I am that I hurt you.”
“Hurt me? Do you really think that’s all you did?” Liz’s eyes widened. “Nick, you broke my heart!”
He knew he couldn’t hide from the facts, and so he looked her right in the eye. “I know. I’m sorry more than you would ever believe, and I know that it won’t fix anything, but I need you to know that first.” He paused and stared down at the rug, trying to figure out his next words. “I promised you that you’d always be with me, and that I would put you first. I broke that promise, and, while I never meant to, it doesn’t change what the result was. Going into this, I never expected your broken heart to be a result. If I had known…” he trailed off.
Silence reigned for long moments before Liz finally spoke. “I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to go out with you. I’d heard all the things people said about you and how you always cheated on every girlfriend. That he hurts them all. Don’t try to deny it, Nick,” she added when he opened his mouth in protest. “I know all of it, and I thought what every girl would think. I thought that I would finally be the one to tame the untameable Nick Carter. Holy shit, I was a moron.”
Nick had no idea how to respond to that, so he just swallowed the ball of shame lodged in his throat and waited for her to continue. It was long moments before she did.
“My heart is my responsibility. I knew what I was getting into, and it wasn’t only your fault that I hurt like this. It was every bit my fault, too. I agreed to date you, I agreed to the wedding scheme. Hell, I pushed Autumn into it.” Liz shook her head. “It’s not all your fault, Nick, and I should never have blamed Autumn. I just…When I heard the two of you had gotten married, I knew I’d lost you. I tried my hardest to pretend like it didn’t matter, that none of it would change what I thought was between us. Of course, it changed everything.”
“Marriage was a huge step for both me and Autumn.” Nick hoped that the right words would appear. “And when we were heading for that cheesy-ass chapel, all we could think of was ourselves. I’m sorry that I didn’t think of you; that you never once crossed my mind.”
“Who could blame you?” she countered. “Like you said, marriage is a huge step.” She slumped back in her chair now. “I doubt I’d have thought of anyone else either.”
There was a short silence again. “So…now what?” Nick wondered.
Liz bit her lip nervously. “I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do anymore, Nick. Like I said, my life doesn’t exist outside of you and Autumn. I have no idea where to go from here. All I know is that I hurt like I’ve never hurt before. I love you in a way that I’ve never loved any another man I’ve dated. And you’ve broken my heart worse than it’s ever been broken before. This is new territory for me.”
He wondered if it were possible for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He couldn’t stand to see the gleam of tears in her eyes and hear the sadness in her voice. He wished desperately that he could rewind the clock backward to Thanksgiving. That he could warn himself not to ask her out. That he could change everything that had happened since then. But he couldn’t. All he could do was move forward.
Taking a chance, he stood, moved around the coffee table, and knelt in front of her. One hand wrapped around hers. When she didn’t pull it away but simply met his intent gaze, he took a deep breath before speaking. “I don’t think telling you that I’m sorry is going to change anything, so I’m not going to keep saying it. I know you know that I am sorry, and that’s all that matters. I’m in the same boat with you, Liz. I don’t know what to do either. This isn’t exactly like any other break up I’ve been through.”
“Let me guess. No throwing random objects and screaming insults? No breaking dishes and cutting up your clothes? Hmm, maybe I should paint myself black and blue and tell people that you beat me.” But there was a small smile on her face.
Nick squeezed her hand comfortingly. “Yeah, pretty much. I’ve liked you since I met you, Liz. You’ve been a friend along with being my girlfriend, and I appreciate that more than you could ever know.”
“If you’re about to tell me that we can still be friends, I suggest you wait at least a month before you say that.” Her voice quivered with emotion. “I don’t think I can handle that, right now.”
He shook his head. “Actually, I was going to say that I care about you. A lot. More than you would probably believe. It’s just that the timing of this sucked. If it were any other time, this wouldn’t be happening.”
“Maybe. Or maybe it would have happened sooner or later, anyway.” This time, she squeezed his hand as her free hand rested on his cheek. “Don’t feel too guilty.”
His fingertips gently brushed away the tears hanging on her eyelashes. “You know that’s impossible, right?”
She was quiet for a few moments before letting go of him. “You should go,” she whispered.
“Liz-”
“Please, Nick. Go. Just go.” One lone tear slipped down her cheek and wrenched a hole in his gut. “Please.”
Knowing that he had no choice but to listen, he nodded and turned for the door. As he twisted the doorknob, he spoke over his shoulder. “I’ll call you. I know you won’t want me to, but I will. I care about you too much not to do something.”
“Goodbye, Nick.”
As the door shut behind him, he didn’t see the way she curled up into a ball and wept heartwrenchingly into her hands. But, in the rearview mirror on his way home, all he could see was his own guilty face. She didn’t want him to feel too guilty, but he knew he had no other choice. He’d broken his promise, and she’d had to pay for it.
***
When he walked into the house, he could hear Lily’s delighted laughter and Layla’s wild barking. Mixed with the two sounds, he heard Autumn’s quiet voice and wondered why just hearing all the noise made him feel so much more at home.
There were boxes stacked in the foyer, and more were in the living room. Frowning, he followed the sounds of life back towards the kitchen and family room. The sight that met him replaced his frown with a grin.
Lily was rolling on the floor with Layla, who sounded insulted. But Nick knew his dog, and she was totally thrilled with the attention. Autumn sat close by in order to keep an eye on both of them. She looked amused by the spectacle the little girl and the dog made.
“Hey.” His greeting was quiet, but Autumn’s head whipped around, and her eyes met his.
“Nick!” She stood quickly and laced her fingers together. “Is everything okay?” Of course, it wasn’t, and she wasn’t stupid either. Somehow, she knew that look in his eyes.
Nick shrugged. “Not really. What’s with all the boxes?” He didn’t want to talk about the mess he’d just been through, and he really didn’t want to say it out loud. He didn’t take failures too well. Anger was already seeping slowly through his veins.
She managed a grim smile. “My things. Apparently, Sherrie and Leah were nice enough to box things up for me in my townhouse while I was gone.”
“So that’s everything that’s yours? What about the furniture?”
“Storage.” She paused. “Nick, I know everything isn’t fine. All I have to do is look into your eyes and see it. Tell me what happened.”
Annoyed that she could read him so easily, he turned away and stalked into the kitchen. “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Autumn, though, was not to be dissuaded so easily. With one glance over at Lily and Layla, she followed him. In the kitchen, he was pouring a glass of dark red liquid. Drinking, of course, was never the answer.
“Nick, don’t use alcohol to ignore whatever’s wrong.” She reached out a hand to lay on his arm. “Please, tell me what happened with you and Liz.”
He shoved her hand away and scowled as he drank. Damn women with their constant need to know every fucking thing in the world, he thought angrily and drank some more. “It’s cranberry juice. And for the last time, I don’t want to talk about it!”
“You don’t scare me,” Autumn said simply, even though the anger was raging on his face. “And I’m not going to leave you alone until you tell me what happened.”
Nick was darkly satisfied at the wince on her face when the glass shattered against the opposite wall, and crimson splattered over the pristine wall. “Are you happy now? I told you I didn’t want to talk about it!” He paced the kitchen, every step furiously taken. “What is it with you women nagging a guy to death? Goddamn it, I can’t even have a minute to fucking think without you on my case! I didn’t marry you because I wanted a fucking shrink. Why don’t you go to your end of the house, and I’ll stay in mine. We won’t see each other, and everything will be so much better!”
As he paced and continued to mutter, now to himself, Autumn cautiously stepped around the broken glass and found a broom and rags in the laundry room. With one eye on him, she began to clean up the mess. Thankfully, the cranberry juice had only stained the wall and, because it was still wet, came off easily. She scrubbed it off and was turning to grab the broom when it was snatched out of her reach. Looking up, she found her eyes locked with Nick’s furious, and pain-filled, blue ones.
“Damn it, Autumn! Damn it!” He shook his head, one hand scrubbing wearily over his face. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter and gentler. “Step away from the glass. I’ll clean it up.”
“Nick-”
One look from him had her stepping aside and watching as he rigorously brushed pieces of glass into the dustpan. “I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said quietly as he worked. “I feel like I’ve been apologizing all day, but I’m sorry. I don’t really know what to do or think right now. It’s been a hell of a day.” He stuck the broom under the cabinets lining the floor. “Make sure you and Lily don’t walk through here without shoes on until we know all the glass is gone. I don’t have a vacuum right now, but I’ll get one. Soon.”
“I’m sorry I kept nagging,” Autumn replied after a long moment of silence. “I didn’t mean to piss you off. You just looked upset, and I wanted to help.”
Nick poured the contents of the dustpan into the trash and turned to see her leaning against the counter. “For me, it’s just another failed relationship. Nothing out of the ordinary.” He sighed. “Liz is the one who’s going to need someone. In fact, she needs you, right now.”
“She’s mad at me.”
He shook his head. “No. No, she’s not. I think you need to go to her. She’s going to need someone, and, knowing her, she probably won’t call anyone.”
“I…well, I, uh…” Autumn was at a loss for words. “Well, Lily needs to be fed, and all those boxes-”
“Autumn.” His voice quietly interrupted her. “Munchkin, Layla, and I will be fine. Why don’t you go spend the night with Liz? You, uh, you can take my car,” he offered. “We’ll be fine here.”
She seemed to be debating it with herself, Nick thought as he watched the struggle apparent on her face. Finally, she nodded. “Okay, then. I’ll go. But if anything happens or you need anything-”
“I’ll call. I know the drill.” He gestured towards the door. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”
***
“Nick sent you?” Liz asked, incredulous, as she let Autumn in the door. She’d taken the rest of the day off and was bundled into her favorite robe and clad in her most comfortable pajamas.
“Yeah. He’s worried about you.” Autumn faced her best friend. “So am I.” She noticed the carton of cookie dough ice cream on the coffee table. “You beat me to the cookie dough.” She held up the carton she held in her hand.
Liz hesitated a moment before taking the box. “That’s okay. That carton’s almost out.” Both women settled onto the sofa. Liz handed Autumn a spoon and held out the opened carton of ice cream. “Thanks for bringing extra provisions.”
Autumn thoughtfully spooned out some of the ice cream and bit in. “Liz? I’m sorry about the mess that I made. I’m sorry that it cost you so much more than you’d ever bargained for.”
Liz finished off a giant spoonful of ice cream and dug in for another. “It’s not your fault. Seriously,” she added at Autumn’s disbelieving expression. “Everything just got a lot out of control, and it’s not really anyone’s fault. Don’t be sorry. Besides,” she paused as she licked off her spoon, “I knew that being with Nick was a huge risk. He doesn’t exactly have a great track record.”
“He was pretty upset. If that helps,” Autumn added.
“Really?” Liz reached for a tissue and wiped off the tears that continued to slide down her cheeks. “He shouldn’t be.”
Autumn sighed. “He is.” And she told Liz about the incident in the kitchen.
Liz shook her head when Autumn finished. “Poor guy. He’s got a good heart, Autumn.”
“I know. He acts like this arrogant jackass and a stuck up hot shot, but he’s not.” Autumn scraped the ice cream off the bottom of the first carton as Liz opened the second one. “It’s weird, but I see this insecure, love-starved side of him, too. You know?”
Liz sighed. “Like the arrogance is just a veneer? Yeah, I know.”
“Both of you need someone who’ll love you and take care of you. Maybe you can try again after all this is over,” Autumn suggested. “I mean, you seemed so good together.”
Liz shrugged. “I don’t think Nick and I will ever get together again.” But she watched Autumn carefully as Autumn scooped up another spoonful of ice cream. “But I have this feeling that we’ll both be okay. I think Nick is going to get all the love and caring that he could ever want soon. Very soon.”
Author's Notes:
Thanks for waiting so patiently between updates! I promise I try to update as fast as I can! Here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy!
The room glowed with light from dozens of candelabras and the muted light from the chandeliers that dripped crystal overhead. A circlet of white lilies surrounded each candelabra and formed a beautiful centerpiece for each table. Hundreds of people had gathered to celebrate and, at the moment, listened to Kevin wax sentimental about his little brother. Others had already had their turns at giving lovely speeches, and Nick had saved his best for last. Kevin had been his honorary big brother, and Nick hadn’t been able to think of anyone better to fill the role of his best man.
“I still can’t believe this day is actually here, but I’m so proud of my little brother. Who knew he’d ever settle down with someone as beautiful inside and out as Autumn? And Nick, a father? I couldn’t be more thrilled for the three of them. Truly, they make a beautiful family, and I wish them a lifetime of happiness and love.” A tear slid down his cheek, but Kevin continued on, his voice choking up a bit. “Nick, I’ve watched you grow up in the last fourteen years, and this, this, buddy, is your crowning moment. Autumn, I’m trusting you to take care of him the way I know he’ll take great care of you and Lily. Here’s to love, happiness, and a lifetime of sharing each other’s joys, fears, successes, and failures. Congratulations!”
The cheering broke out as the clinking of champagne flutes rang out through the room. Nick and Autumn lifted their glasses, toasted each other, and smiled so widely that Nick knew his cheeks were about to fall off.
An elbow nudged him in the side, and the smile faltered for a moment. He leaned towards Autumn in what, he hoped, would be seen as him whispering sweet nothings in her ear. In reality, he hissed, “Are you trying to crack a fucking rib?”
Her smile turned even more sugary sweet than it already was as she brushed her lips over his cheek, disguising the words she hissed back. “Dim down that smile, darling. It looks like you’re trying too hard. I think Brian’s getting suspicious.”
That shot his head up fast before he remembered himself. “What? What do you mean? How can you tell?”
“He’s watched us this whole time, and I get the sense that he’s not a hundred percent sold on-”
Autumn’s words were cut off as Brian interrupted them. “I just thought I’d take this opportunity to congratulate the two of you again!” His smile was genuinely pleased for them as he slapped Nick’s shoulder good-naturedly before turning to kiss Autumn’s cheek. “I wish you’d brought Lily, too,” he told Autumn. “I know most of us are dying to meet the kid that’s got Nick wrapped around her finger.”
“I can imagine,” Autumn murmured, the smile still in place. “Thank you for not spilling the secret before we were ready for it.”
Brian glanced at Nick, realizing that Nick must have told her that he’d figured out that their haphazard wedding had stalled Nick’s arrival in Nashville three months ago. Then again, they were married, so of course Nick would have told her. Right?
“No problem,” Brian replied after a moment. “I know what it’s like to want your privacy. The way the two of you are going, though, it’s going to be hard to keep that precious commodity.”
“No kidding.” Nick patted Brian’s shoulder. “Thanks, again, man.”
“Nick.” Kristin, glowingly rounded at seven months pregnant, made her way around the milling guests to where Autumn and Nick stood. “I haven’t been able to get through all these people to see the two of you yet.”
Nick had to admit he felt a little nervous around pregnant women, but he gingerly returned Kristin’s hug, trying to avoid touching her belly. “Thanks, Kris. Shouldn’t you be sitting, though?”
Autumn and Brian exchanged amused glances as Kristin placed a hand on her belly. It was painfully obvious to all three of them that Nick was tense, and it was definitely funny.
“I’m fine, Nick.” Kristin patted his hand. “Besides, ask Autumn, it’s not so bad. I’m sure by the time I hit the nine month mark, it’ll be far worse.” She looked over his shoulder for something. “I just have to make sure Kev doesn’t see me. He doesn’t think I should move ever, even though the doctor said it’s better if I exercise. Helps with the labor process, you know.”
“Huh. I didn’t know that, actually.” Nick could feel the color drain from his face. Talk of labor made him just this side of squeamish.
Kevin saved him from hearing anymore about childbirth when he, Howie, and AJ joined the group. The instant he saw his wife standing by Nick’s side, Kevin’s smile vanished. “Kris, why aren’t you sitting? You shouldn’t be on your feet this long.” He turned on Nick. “Honestly Nick. Couldn’t you take care of her?”
“But I-Hey! Brian was here, too!” Nick sputtered before latching onto Brian as an excuse. “And, besides, this is my wedding reception. I should be the one being treated specially.”
Autumn couldn’t quite control the chuckle when Kevin’s brows furrowed. “You really think your wedding is more important than my wife and child?” Kevin near bellowed.
“Uh, no.” Nick could sense he’d taken a wrong turn somewhere but decided to just concede the point. He really didn’t need Kevin mad at him over Kristin, so he held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, sorry. Really. Here, I’ll have her sit now.” He guided Kristin into his chair as she grinned, bemused at the whole spectacle. The grin widened when Nick lifted her slightly swollen feet onto another chair at the table. “There. Better?”
“Much. Thanks, Nick.” Kristin squeezed his hand before shooting a glare at her husband. “See, all better. Honestly, Kevin. Leave the poor kid alone. He’s supposed to be enjoying his wedding reception, not being roasted over a fire by you. Nick,” she smiled at him, “you and Autumn should go mingle with your guests. There’s three hundred of them. I bet they’re all dying to hear about how happy the two of you are.”
“Oh, yeah. I bet.” Nick nodded, then turned to Autumn and held out his arm. “Shall we, wifey?”
Autumn folded her arms. “Not if you call me ‘wifey’.”
Nick made a pitiful puppy face. “Sweetie, darling, baby? Let’s go mingle.”
She rolled her eyes and slid an arm through his, a loving smile gracing her face. “You’re so lucky I love you so much.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.” He brushed his lips over her nose, for the benefit of the others still with them. “I love you, too.”
As they moved away from the group, they heard AJ’s voice. “Man, the two of them are disgustingly cute, aren’t they? I swear, eight months ago, he was all ‘I don’t need a girlfriend, right now. I’m not ready for one.’ And BAM! He’s married now. What a guy.”
Brian’s response came more quietly. “When it’s right, it’s right. Sometimes, it’s right in front of your face, and you don’t know it.”
Autumn tugged Nick’s arm. “I’m telling you, he knows something.”
“Nah. I don’t think so.” Nick paused for a moment as they both thanked and hugged some of Autumn’s former co-stars and producers. “He’s the one who told me that you were perfect for me. Not once, but twice. He couldn’t possibly be suspicious.”
She just made a hmm-ing noise, and Nick knew she was still suspicious that Brian was suspicious, even though there was no way the man could possibly know what was really up. Besides, he just hadn’t given off the “I know what you’ve done” vibes. He’d been happy for them, and, even Leighanne had bubbled over about how exciting it was that there would finally be another child on tour and how glad she was that Nick had finally found the right woman for himself. If Brian had been suspicious, wouldn’t he have told Leighanne, thereby resulting in her behavior being suspicious, too? Based on such logic, he didn’t believe Autumn was right. And, was it just him, or were they getting good at this whole married couple thing where they talked about such minor things?
“Guess we’re really into these roles,” he murmured to himself before embracing another well-wisher.
***
They met up with the rest of the Carter clan a little while later. Jane hadn’t been able to make it because, as Leslie tiredly explained, she had decided to try rehab. Again. However, Bob, the twins, BJ, and Leslie had all shown up to celebrate the newlyweds—who were, Nick thought wryly, not so newly wed anymore.
Autumn knew who his siblings were already. The week after they’d moved in together, she’d insisted that it wouldn’t be right if she waited to meet his family. The Carters would probably be hurt if Nick didn’t introduce them before the reception, and, besides, she’d argued, it was already weird enough that she’d never had to undergo the Angel Carter test. Nick had shaken his head and told her to quit surfing the message boards. But he’d given into her plans.
Angel, Aaron, BJ, and Leslie had been invited over for dinner along with Chris and Bean—the friends that Autumn figured she should get to know since they were good friends of his. Nick had been nervous for all of them to meet his new family, and he’d kept Lily by his side the whole night, terrified that she’d learn how to play poker or drink too much alcohol by the end of the night. Then again, knowing his sisters, Lily would probably learn to cook, model, and text on a Sidekick at the same time. With his friends and family, you learned to expect the unexpected.
He’d forgotten to apply the same rules to his new wife and child.
By the end of the night, his sisters and Autumn gabbed away like they were old friends, while Aaron, Bean, and Chris turned into mushy piles of love as Lily charmed them. ‘Course, she learned a few new choice expletives by the end of the night, too, but Nick figured it was like collateral damage. Or something.
After everyone had left, Autumn had told him that she’d thoroughly enjoyed herself. His siblings weren’t quite the zoo she’d witnessed on television, but they were still quite colorful. As for his friends…
“Chris is great. I think you made a great decision by having him as a friend. You can definitely live without Bean, though.”
Nick didn’t bother arguing with her about it as he pretty much felt the same. But Bean was like a bad habit, and he just didn’t want to put the effort into breaking it. Not when there were a dozen more important things he had to take care of in his life. Like introducing his wife to his father.
“Dad, this is Autumn. My wife.” Nick gestured from his father to Autumn and back. “Autumn, this is my dad.”
Autumn smiled and held out a hand. “It’s great to finally meet you, Mr. Carter.”
Bob returned her smile. “Oh, now, call me Bob. Mr. Carter makes me feel like I’m eighty or something.” He pulled her into a hug. “It’s nice to meet the woman who’s finally going to settle my Nickolas down. Turn him into a family man. I hear I have a grandchild?”
“Yeah, Dad.” Nick grinned a little just thinking of Lily. “You’ll love her. She’s perfect. As gorgeous as her mom, but, if it’s possible, she’s got twice the charm. No offense, Autumn.”
She merely squeezed his hand affectionately. “None taken. She’s great. We’ll have to introduce you soon.”
As his sisters took turns hugging Autumn, Nick beamed at the sight, acting every bit the new husband he was trying to be. Apparently, if he had his family fooled then things were going better than expected. They knew him too well and could push their way through his bullshit. This time, apparently, they’d taken the bait, and he breathed a small sigh of relief.
Angel’s voice broke through his thoughts. “God, Autumn. I swear, you always look absolutely fabulous every time I see you, whether it’s on TV, at your house, wherever. Look at you now!”
“Well, actually,” Autumn began, tossing a glance over her shoulder at Nick, “I didn’t pick out what I’m wearing tonight. Nick did.”
The girls exploded into a frenzy, Nick thought. BJ smacked his arm playfully. “Big brother, who knew you had it in you?” She gestured to Autumn, who wore a strapless, royal blue dress that fell just below her knees and was embroidered with pearl white flowers on the waist and hem. “I mean, honestly, Nick. You dress yourself in such fugly outfits, I’m surprised you managed to pull this one off.”
“What can I say? I have many hidden talents,” Nick joked, though his hand found Autumn’s and laced their fingers together.
“Well, maybe you can send those talents my way,” Aaron said playfully. “I mean, I could definitely use those to get me some-”
“Aaron.”
“Right. Sorry, Autumn,” he apologized. “Anyway, I bet Nick didn’t pick out the shoes or jewelry, right? He doesn’t have the eye for that sort of stuff.”
Autumn grinned. “Actually, he does. Like I said, Nick put this whole thing together.” She remembered the bet they’d made when she’d declared that he could never dress anyone, not even himself, stylishly. Clearly, she’d lost, but the five hundred dollars she’d forked over to him was well worth it, she thought. She had to admit she looked like a million bucks. “He even dressed himself for tonight, too. Plus, he’s bought Lily a whole new wardrobe, and it’s the cutest thing ever!”
As the chorus of “aww” was heard, Nick fought off the blush. So, yeah, he’d put the whole outfit together, and it looked great. That didn’t require this much attention, did it? He’d just walked into one of those boutiques on Rodeo Drive, seen the dress, and immediately knew it would be perfect on Autumn. It hadn’t been his fault that the fancy jewelry place had showcased a set of pearls that would look perfect with the dress. And that shoe place had been having a sale anyway, so he’d walked out with the shoes, too. It didn’t take a genius to design something like that.
But when he looked over at Autumn, who was moving off to mingle with his sisters and other guests, he had to admit, she did look great. But then, she always looked great. Every morning that she walked into the kitchen on a search for coffee, she looked perfect. They’d gotten drunk together one night for the hell of it, and, the next day, she hadn’t suffered from a single bit of pain. She’d glowed, for crying out loud. Of course, he’d felt like shit, but that wasn’t anything new.
Autumn and Nick were getting along better than Nick could have ever expected. They lived in the same house, shared meals, cared for Lily together, and talked about their days with each other. Just like they were a normal family. Some days, Nick had to remind himself that it wasn’t real. They were just an illusion for the world, and, one day, it would all end.
There were times, though, when he would walk past the nursery and watch Autumn sing Lily to sleep. She’d know when he was there and would look over at him and smile. In those precious moments, Nick wished, with all his heart, that the illusion could be reality.
***
As was expected of them, it was soon time for the bride and groom’s first dance. Or what would pass as their first dance, though they’d already been married for months and must have danced together by now. Or so every guest thought—except for those in the know. Autumn had begged Liz to pick a song for them as neither she nor Nick had any idea what to do. True, there were dozens of songs, but, knowing Nick, he probably would’ve picked a Bryan Adams song. Autumn wanted something different.
The first notes strummed through the speakers as Nick and Autumn took to the center of the dance floor, hundreds of people watching. He slid his arms around her and pulled her close. Autumn rested her hand on his heart, and they shared a mutual smile of encouragement as they began to sway.
You can’t know
Oh, no, you can’t know
How much I think about you
It’s making my head spin
Their steps matched perfectly. It felt as though they had danced together for years, and Nick had to shake his head at the oddity of the feeling. It was just luck that, for the first time in a while, he hadn’t stepped on his partner’s feet. He was sure Autumn was grateful for that.
Looking at you
And you are looking at me
And we both know what we want
So close to giving in
He didn’t particularly enjoy the scrutiny of all the people watching them. He’d always had a slight case of stage fright, despite all the shows he’d ever performed. To escape the eyes trained on them, he looked down and into Autumn’s eyes. Green met blue. And locked.
Feels so nice
Oh yeah, you feel so nice
Wish I could stay the night
But I can’t pay the price
The singer’s voice was ethereal, Autumn thought. It reminded her of magical forests on a midsummer night. Ones in which faeries danced. Her mind was full of fanciful images, and that’s why she felt the shimmer of feeling pulse through her when Nick’s eyes met hers. That’s why her heart was beginning to pound in anticipation. Of what, though, she wasn’t at all certain.
But I’m flying so high
High off the ground
When you’re around
And time can feel your high
Rocking me inside
It’s too much to hide
There were gray flecks within the deep green of her eyes, and, when the light from the chandeliers touched her eyes just so, they mesmerized him. He couldn’t prevent his hand from lifting to her cheek. Even as he wondered what he was doing, his fingers skimmed over soft skin and lightly brushed an errant curl aside.
I know, oh yes
I know
That we can’t be together
But I just like to dream
Not real, not real, he kept telling himself. No matter how much he reminded himself that they weren’t really husband and wife, that they really weren’t in love, the moment, the music, the atmosphere half convinced him otherwise.
“Autumn.”
It’s so strange
The way our paths have crossed
How we were brought together
It’s written in the stars it seems
His voice was soft, and the look in his eyes staggered her. If he hadn’t been holding her close, she was sure she would have melted into a puddle on the floor. It had to be momentary insanity, she thought, to see such emotions in his eyes. To feel twin emotions bubble within her.
Back to earth
Where did you take me to?
I know there’s no such thing
This painless love
Well, it’ll catch us up
And we can never win
But oh, I feel so at home
Just wanna hold you, hold you
So tight
“Just an illusion.”
Nick knew they couldn’t fool themselves into thinking there was more between them than there really was. They couldn’t let themselves believe what everyone else believed. Their marriage wasn’t real, and they both knew it. It didn’t matter that he’d felt something when he’d held her, breathed her in, and he knew she’d felt it, too. Her eyes were her most expressive feature, and they hadn’t been able to hide anything.
But they couldn’t be like that. They couldn’t be more than just Nick and just Autumn. Just an illusion.
But I’m flying so high
High off the ground
When you’re around
And time can feel your high
Rocking me inside
It’s too much to hide
Lyrics from “Flying High” by Jem
Author's Notes:
First off, I'm going to apologize for being so late on this update. I've been super busy so far this summer, and that's not going to change because I'm a camp counselor, so I don't have all that much time to write these days. That being said, to apologize for being so flakey, I'm giving you not one, but TWO new chapters! I hope you enjoy them, and thank you for being so loyal and understanding!
“No, no. Not that one. Look at this one.” Autumn brushed aside various proofs and reached for the one she wanted. “Here. This one’s better than the other one.” She passed it to Nick.
Nick stared at the photograph he held. They were going through the proofs of all the pictures taken for their photo interview. It was up to them to choose which ones they wanted to put into the magazine spread. Studying the picture Autumn had given him for a few moments, he glanced from it to the other one he held before he finally nodded. “You’re right. This one’s better. Look how cute Lily looks.” He grinned at the image. The grin widened when Lily ran squealing into the room, chased by Layla.
“Nick!” Lily shrieked as Layla butted her nose into Lily’s legs and propelled her forward to clutch at Nick’s leg. “Help!”
Nick and Autumn shared the amused glance that all parents share when their child has done something particularly adorable or perfect. By Nick’s vague calculations, they’d been sharing those special looks for weeks. It was easier and easier to pretend they were a real family—the kind he’d always wanted to be a part of when he was little. He’d always been a little bit jealous of Brian for having the picture-perfect family, and, now, he had his own. Knowing that it would inevitably end didn’t deter him from letting himself pretend in his own head that he, Autumn, and Lily were a happy family.
The fact that he and Autumn didn’t speak of whatever had happened at the wedding or whatever they’d each felt was just extraneous. Voicing such concerns were sure, Nick knew, to ruin his perfect moments.
The picture Autumn had handed him was one such example of the perfect moment captured forever on paper.
“Nick?”
Distracted from his thoughts, he blinked and looked up to meet her questioning expression. “Sorry. What?”
“Are you still with us? Where’d you go off to in your head?” She tugged Lily away from Nick and set her daughter on the rug with toys that Layla eagerly carried over from the toy chest.
“I’m here. Just thinking about…stuff,” he replied. He wanted to ask her if she ever felt the warmth, the sense of right that he felt when it was just the three of them. Well, four, if you counted Layla, and he did. Even as he opened his mouth to speak the words, the doorbell rang.
Autumn sprang up from the couch. “I wonder who that is? I’ll get it,” she added and headed for the front door.
Nick turned from watching her leave and met Lily’s curious gaze. When he held out his arms, she dropped the stuffed bear she held and leapt into his hold. Nick squeezed her gently and let his heart sigh when his tiny princess pressed her lips to his cheek. “I want to hold on to you forever, Lilykins. I just have to figure out what’s up with me and your mom first. I just don’t know how to ask her. I mean, how do you ask a woman if she-”
“Aww, look at that! Isn’t that just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, Autumn?” Brian’s voice interrupted Nick’s discussion with his stepdaughter. When his head whipped around to the doorway, he found Brian and Baylee grinning at him while Autumn hovered just behind them. She shrugged and managed a puzzled smile when Nick shot her a questioning look.
He stood and, shifting Lily to his hip, he stepped over Layla and scattered toys to greet Brian by way of a semi-hug. “I like to think everything I do is the cutest thing she’s ever seen,” Nick joked. “So were we expecting you? Did I forget something? Hell, I gotta admit, I didn’t know you were in LA right now.”
“No problem. And, no, we just decided to drop in and see Uncle Nick and his family. Right, Bay?”
“Yup!” Baylee smiled up at Lily as she cocked her head and studied him quizzically. “Is that your baby, Nick?”
Nick grinned down at Lily as his eyes met Autumn’s smiling ones. “Yes, she is. What do you think?” He knelt so that Lily and Baylee were at eye level.
Baylee reached out a hand to touch Lily’s cheek. When he ran a finger over cheek, she giggled and pressed a hand to his cheek, too. “She’s adoor-bell!” Baylee claimed enthusiastically.
Brian grinned. “That she is. It’s nice to finally meet her in person. May I?” he asked and held out his arms to Lily.
“Well, it’s up to her. She’s a pretty picky kid,” Autumn teased. “You might not be good enough for my princess.”
Lily stared at Brian for long moments before she slid forward and out of Nick’s arms. Baylee clapped his hands. “She likes you, Daddy!”
“I think she does, buddy.” Brian tapped Lily’s nose, making her gurgle with laughter. “Hi there, Lily. I’m Brian.”
“And I’m Baylee!” Baylee added excitedly.
“Baaaay Leeee!” Lily enunciated and grinned at her accomplishment. Then, she ran her fingers over Brian’s face and announced, “Pretty!”
Brian chuckled before looking past Lily to Autumn. “She’s got good taste.”
“Yes, she does,” Autumn agreed, smiling. “Why don’t we sit, and you can get acquainted with her. Would you like anything? Coffee, water? Baylee, would you like juice?”
Brian placed a hand on Baylee’s shoulder. “We just had lunch, and Mommy wouldn’t be too happy if you wrecked your appetite before dinner. Right, Bay?”
Baylee, who’d perked up at Autumn’s offerings, nodded solemnly. “Yes, Daddy.” Then, after a pause, he asked, “Can I play with Lily, now? You can talk to Nick, and I can play with her. That was our deal.”
“Sure, pal.” Brian set Lily down, and the two children immediately wandered over to play with Layla and Lily’s toys. He smiled at the cheerful sight of the two of them before he turned back to Nick and Autumn. “You two are very lucky. Let me congratulate you, Autumn, on such a terrific child.”
“Thank you.” Autumn beamed. “Fortunately, I don’t have to be alone in raising her to be even better. I’ve got Nick now.” She laced her fingers through Nick’s and smiled at him.
“I should say I’m lucky enough to have both of you,” Nick corrected her and wished he could make her see that he meant that. That, with them around and the responsibility of a family, he didn’t really feel the urge to party until he was sick and destructive. He had a sneaking suspicion that they were making him into a better man, and he didn’t think that was a bad thing.
The longer his eyes stayed locked on hers, the more he wondered what it was he was thinking. They might have been married, and he might have been attracted to her enough to try to form some sort of real relationship with her. Unfortunately, none of that really made any difference because he knew she probably wouldn’t and didn’t feel the attraction he felt. So he should probably just leave it alone.
Should.
When they finally broke eye contact and turned to Brian, they found him watching them with what appeared to be suspicion in his eyes. The same old Brian smile was on his face, but there were dozens of questions in his eyes. Nick had a sinking suspicion Autumn had been right. Maybe Brian didn’t completely buy their marriage, and maybe, just maybe, he could tell that all was not what it seemed to be.
Shit.
“You three really do make a great family.” Brian blinked and the expression in his eyes changed and was friendly once more. “Tell me again, because I totally forget, how did the two of you know that you were it for each other? I mean, you’d only been dating for a couple months, right?”
This time, when Nick squeezed Autumn’s hand, he meant for it to be reassuring. “I told you about that morning on the beach, Brian, remember? We’d both had a bad night and somehow ended up walking it off on the same beach. There was something about that moment, for me, that was just right. That’s when I knew. Right, baby?” He brushed his lips over Autumn’s temple, inhaling the fragrant scent of her hair.
She nodded, and Nick could practically see her eyes take on that daydreaming quality. No wonder she won awards for her acting. She deserved every, last one. When she spoke about knowing Jack wasn’t the one for her and how Nick had comforted her, he could see the softening effect her words and her tone were obviously having on Brian.
“That is really beautiful,” Brian commented when she’d finished. “It’s been quite the interesting year for the two of you, huh?”
“Exciting wouldn’t begin to cover it,” Autumn replied wryly. “I don’t think I’d change a single second, though. Except for my sister, of course.”
Brian waved it off. “Of course. But, hopefully, that’s all a thing of the past.” He paused to look over at Baylee and Lily who continued to play happily and missed the flicker of expression on Autumn’s face. When he turned his attention to Nick and Autumn again, Nick saw the suspicion was still there. “I just think it’s pretty remarkable that Nick, here, married a woman he’d known for a few months, one no one else really knew he was dating, when he’d never even thought of marriage in the two years he was with Mandy. It’s a little weird, you gotta admit, Nick.”
“Uh, it was a different time in my life,” Nick assured him. “I was barely twenty, and nowhere near mature enough to do it. Now, though, it was perfect.”
Brian didn’t seem entirely appeased by the answer but the ringing of the phone cut off his next question. Autumn smiled apologetically. “Sorry, that’s me.” Finding her cell under the pile of photographs, she disappeared into another room with an encouraging look for Nick.
Squaring his shoulders and braced for the next part of Brian’s interrogation, Nick turned back to Brian. “Dude, what’s up with all the questions? I mean, I thought you were happy that I was happy.”
“Are you, Nick? Are you really happy?” Brian eyed him carefully. “I mean, I’m not at all sure that Autumn is the right one for you.”
Nick didn’t know where it came from, but there was rage boiling under his skin at the statement. “Excuse me?! Weren’t you the one that told me she was the perfect one for me? I remember taking you ring shopping, too, and you were all happy for me. Where the hell do you get off telling me that my wife is wrong for me?”
“Daddy, Nick said the H-E-double hockey sticks word,” Baylee announced from across the room.
Brian spared him a glance. “I know, Bay. Why don’t you just play with Lily and leave the adult conversation alone for now? Okay?”
“’Kay.” And he went back to his new friend.
Before Brian could respond to Nick’s outburst, Autumn was back. “Nick, I have to go.”
“Go?” And leave him to what felt like the wolves?
She nodded. “Yeah. I have to sign the contracts for a couple photoshoots in New York. Remember I told you about how I have to go out there next week?”
“Sure, yeah.” He toyed with the ends of her hair absently. “So how long are you going to be gone?”
She frowned. “For three days. You know that.”
“Now? You have to go for three days, right now?”
“Oh. Oh.” She rolled her eyes and playfully swatted his hand away. “No, silly. Liz just wants me to meet her at the office and sign them. It shouldn’t take too long. A couple hours tops. Besides, I promised to make you and Lily that fabulous dinner. Can’t miss that.”
“Nope. Especially because it’s your turn to cook tonight.” He nudged her towards the door. “You should go. Sooner you go, sooner you’re back.”
“Yeah.” Autumn peeked around Nick to smile apologetically at Brian. “Sorry, Brian. I gotta head out, but it was great to see you and Baylee today.”
“Yeah. You should visit us sometimes, too. Leigh’s always talking about you.” Brian met her smile with one of his own. “It was great to see your daughter, too. Just as pretty as her mom.”
“Thanks.” Autumn looked up at Nick. “I should get going.”
He nodded. “Guess you should.” As she moved out of the room, an idea occurred to him. Not bothering to think it through, he reached out and caught Autumn’s arm, tugging her back to him. “Autumn. Wait.”
And, in full view of Brian, he framed her face gently with his hands and lowered his lips to hers in what was their first real kiss. Even as he hoped that the embrace would wipe all doubts from Brian’s mind, Nick’s mind went blissfully blank as the taste of Autumn flooded his system. Drowning in it, he didn’t notice the way she froze for an instant before responding. Her arms came up and locked around his neck even as her body pressed against his. Nick didn’t notice either motion so concentrated was he on that single meeting of lips.
They kissed, and he couldn’t imagine wanting to kiss another. They kissed, and he wondered where this feeling had been all his life. They kissed, and he wished he could spend his life in this one moment. Freeze frame, capture the moment, and stay in it forever.
He knew she was as shocked as he by the kiss. When he leaned back, her face still cupped in his hands, he could see the green of her eyes clouded with confusion, shock, and the same thrill that lingered within him.
Autumn pressed a hand to her spinning head and smiled, dazed, into Nick’s face. “What was that for?”
“I’ll miss you.”
“It’s only a couple hours, Nick, not weeks.”
He didn’t respond but just pressed his lips to her forehead then nudged her along. “You’re gonna be late.”
Still wondering where the top of her head and spun off to, she managed to make her way to the front door. When he heard it open and shut, Nick returned to his seat across from Brian’s. “Sorry about that. Sometimes, when she’s leaving, I just get this scared feeling that I’ll never see her again. Like it’s the last time I’ll see her walk out the door. I guess it’s knowing that I probably don’t deserve her that gets me thinking that.”
To his surprise, Brian shook his head. “You’re wrong. And so was I.” He sighed. “I don’t know what got into me, Nick, and I’m sorry. You and Autumn are really and truly in love, and it’s beautiful to see. I’m very happy for you, and I hope you can forgive me for being an,” he glanced over at Baylee before lowering his voice, “an asshole. Besides, you totally deserve her. Why wouldn’t you?”
Nick shrugged. “Just a feeling. And you’re forgiven.”
Baylee wandered over and tugged on Brian’s arm. “Daddy?”
“Yeah, kiddo?” Brian ruffled his son’s curls. “What’s up?”
“Can I have a little sister like Lily?”
The words startled Brian, and Nick had the pleasure of watching Brian’s mouth open and close several times before he was able to form a coherent response.
“Well, Baylee, I think we’ll have to have a conference with Mommy about that idea,” Brian finally managed. “You know something like that has to have Mommy’s input.”
Baylee nodded. “Okay. I’ll ask her when we get home.”
“Bay-” Brian began, but Baylee had already scampered off again. “Well, shoot. Leigh’s going to be thrilled to have to answer a thousand and one questions about why he can’t have a little sister. Let’s hope he doesn’t have a temper tantrum over it.”
Nick couldn’t quite suppress the grin. “Conference, huh?”
“Shut up.” Brian rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “So, there was another reason why I stopped by today.”
“Yeah?”
Brian leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees, his eyes intent. “I just wanted to make sure that you’re cool with all the plans for the new album. I mean, you’ve been pretty busy with your family and the wedding excitement, and I wasn’t sure if you’d looked over all the stuff Johnny sent us about the video shoot, final song selections, and the upcoming tour.”
“Sure, yeah. I read it all over, and it sounds good to—Wait. What tour?” Nick sat up and frowned. “Maybe I didn’t get that far in the itinerary.”
Brian cleared his throat a little nervously. “Yeah, the tour. It’s the press tour. It starts in the beginning of June. We’ve got three weeks. I wondered if this tour was gonna be a problem for you or Autumn.”
“Why would it be a problem?” Now Nick was confused. How did his tour affect Autumn?”
“Because Autumn is supposed to tour with us?” Brian reminded him.
Nick’s eyebrows flew up. “No shit? I must have missed that memo.” And then he did remember. “Wait a minute. That’s the tour she was talking about! Autumn told me that her management cleared up a good chunk of time for her to tour with me. I had no idea what, exactly, she was talking about.” He sighed. “Now I do.”
“Are you okay with taking your family on the road?”
Nick ran his fingers through his hair absently as he wondered how it would be to have Lily and Autumn with him twenty-four/seven. They wouldn’t be able to keep separate rooms because there was no way to explain their way out of that. He hoped the couches in those rooms would be comfortable.
“We’ll be fine,” he assured Brian.
When his thoughts turned to the kiss, to all the thoughts that swirled through his head, he wasn’t entirely sure that his words were the truth. After all, any idea that he’d had that there was no chemistry between Autumn and him had been dispelled by that kiss. He’d seen the questions in Autumn’s eyes, too, and he wasn’t sure what they would do now. How they’d be around each other now, but, as he picked up a picture of Autumn wrapped around him, her lips brushing his jaw, he did know one thing.
They both had a lot of thinking to do about what was really happening between Nick Carter and Autumn Evans.
Autumn stared at the picture in her hand and the message that accompanied it. A ball of panic and fear lodged itself in her belly as her mind whirled with the sickening possibilities of what could and had already happened.
The photo was the fifth in a string of threatening notes that she’d received from Summer since her return from Peru. The first four had been simple messages that Summer was keeping close tabs on her, that Autumn would never know when her twin would strike or how. The fifth, though, proved to Autumn that Summer could and probably would make good on her threat to hurt her sister.
Lily stared up at her from the photograph. She was reaching for whoever held the camera, and the smile on her face would’ve made Autumn happy at any other time but now. The picture terrified her because it meant that Summer had been able to get close enough to Lily to take a picture without Autumn having a clue. It meant that Summer was capable of making Autumn’s life the worst of nightmares.
Well, Autumn thought, she’d just have to work hard to make sure that she and her child were protected at all costs from Summer’s attack. She wasn’t entirely sure how she’d accomplish this, but she would.
“Hey, Autumn.” Nick knocked lightly on her open bedroom door before strolling in, waving a packet of papers. “Guess what I got?”
Autumn managed a small smile as she quickly stuffed the note and photo back into an envelope and rummaged through her drawers and shoved it in. Then, she turned to Nick. “Hi to you, too. What’ve you got?”
Nick frowned at her. “What was that? What’d you just hide away?”
“N-nothing.” Autumn smiled widely, hoping he wouldn’t pry too much. “Private stuff.” She knew he wouldn’t push too much into her privacy as that was part of their unspoken deal in living together. “So, what’d you get?”
Nick stared at her for a few more moments, wondering what she had to hide away from him. It wasn’t as though she was stashing away her piles of crack or something. This was Autumn, after all. He figured it was exactly what she said it was. He hoped it was. Besides, he was too distracted by what was in his hands to really put effort into prying.
“It’s the schedule for the tour,” he said finally.
“The tour?” Autumn looked blank for a moment before recognition lit her face. “Right! The tour. So what does it look like?”
“It’s a lot more full than any of the other guys’ itineraries. We’ve got special couple interviews scheduled for us. They really want to push our publicity and media exposure to the maximum,” he added, sounding somewhat annoyed at the prospect.
Autumn took the packet from him and flipped through it. “It’s probably not as bad as you think. And, look! We get to visit Italy, London, and all these places that are still on Autumn Evans’ list of places to visit. This is exciting!”
Nick stared. “Seriously? You’re excited about this tour now? A month ago, you were practically screaming at me because you didn’t want to do this. Now, it’s like the highlight of your summer or something.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Nick. I mean, we did want media exposure, didn’t we?” Not to mention being on the road would make it difficult for Summer to track them. How would she get to Tokyo or Rome anyway? “Well, now we’ve got all the exposure we could possibly want.”
“I heard we’re the most searched for couple on Google,” Nick informed her. “Gosh, I feel so special.”
“Your group is the second or third most searched for fandom, too,” Autumn said with a grin. “How’s it feel to know there’re thousands of women out there who love to write about you getting it on with fictional women?”
“Not as creepy as you make it sound,” Nick replied with a smile of his own. “At least I have caring fans.”
“Who are still burning me in effigy for marrying you.”
Nick shrugged. “Comes with the territory, babe.” He tapped the pages she held. “This starts at the end of next week. Are you ready for it?”
“I haven’t packed for me or Lily,” Autumn began but Nick cut her off.
“No, I meant mentally prepared. Touring, even as small as this, can be really exhausting. I mean, we’re going from Tokyo to Rome with barely a day in between to relax.”
“We have time off in Rome. Hey, let’s go taste test the wine at those wineries!” Autumn brightened a bit at the prospect of being able to explore the places she’d always wanted to visit.
Nick nodded. “Sure, yeah. As long as you can handle yourself before you get drunk.”
“Hey, I wasn’t the one who passed out that time we got drunk. That was you,” she reminded him, poking one finger at his chest. “I can handle my alcohol fine, thank you.”
“Right. Anyway,” he gestured to the pages in her hands, “you can hang onto those. I should go give Lily her bath because I know you have to pack for your trip tomorrow.”
Autumn nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. Um, Nick?”
“Yeah?”
She bit her lip nervously, remembering Summer’s threats. “While I’m gone, could you keep an eye on Lily as much as possible? I always hate leaving her, and she’s at that point where she could walk off without you noticing that she’s gone, you know? I just worry, that’s all.”
Nick patted her shoulder reassuringly. “She won’t be out of my sight. I swear. When I hit up a club, I’ll take her with me, too. Sound good?”
Autumn rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sure. Thanks, Nick.”
“No problem. I’ll see you for dinner.”
“Yeah, dinner.” She watched him go then sat on her bed and, squeezing her eyes shut, prayed with all her heart that her family would be protected. Somehow.
Because, the truth was, even as she was worried sick about Lily, she was scared for Nick, too. Summer had already found him once, so what was stopping her from finding him again and harming him? As far as she knew, Autumn loved Nick, and hurting him would seem a surefire way of hurting Autumn.
The funny thing was, Autumn thought, a few months ago, it wouldn’t have mattered to her what happened to Nick. Now, she had to admit, he’d somehow squirmed his way under her skin. Things between them seemed so pleasant, so perfect, and he’d become a friend. Not just a casual one, but one that she was beginning to really depend on.
Despite the contentment she felt most days, she still couldn’t shake the fear that something was going to wreck it all. Summer had certainly succeeded in intimidating her.
It seemed as though she would now spend the next few days in New York, worrying about Nick and Lily and waiting for the other shoe to drop and wreck her picture-perfect life.
***
“Nicky?” Lily poked her head out from under the towel that Nick was rubbing over her wet hair. The pained expression on her face clued him into the fact that maybe he was scrubbing a little too hard, so he gentled his touch until her thick, dark curls dried. “Better,” she announced when he was done and grinned at him.
He scooped her off the bed and tossed her up in the air, making her squeal with delight. “So, how about we get you into some clothes, huh?”
“No! No clothes!” She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at him. “Wanna be nakey.”
Nick’s brows rose. “You can’t go around naked, Lily. That’s just not right.”
“Wanna be nakey!”
Nick ignored her demand and dug out her favorite pair of soft purple pants and a blue top. Holding them up for her to see, he wiggled his brows. “Hey, Lily. Look how cute these are! Wow, I wish I were almost two years old. Then I’d totally wear them, too!” His attempts at convincing her were clearly not working as she continued to glare at him.
“No clothes!”
“Lily.”
“No!”
“Lily.”
“No!”
“Fine.” And, before she could see it coming, he tackled her and, while she squirmed in his arms, he tugged the pants up her legs. “Look how comfy they are, munchkin. Isn’t that nice?”
“No!”
He ignored her claim and set her down on the bed. Taking good hold of her, in case she managed to wiggle out of his arms, he managed to get the shirt on her, too. Then, he stood back and admired his work. “You look perfect, Lily. What was so bad about getting dressed anyway?”
Lily scrunched up her face for a moment before smiling sweetly at him and pulled on her hair. “Make this?”
“Uhhh…” Nick glanced around her room and spotted the box of hair ties and ribbons. “Cool.” He picked through the accessories and found a purple scrunchie. “This’ll match,” he muttered before turning back to Lily. “Okay, munchkin. Let’s do this.”
Unfortunately for Nick, Lily had decided that, as punishment for making her get dressed, she would make it darn near impossible for Nick to actually make her hair, which, after a two minute tussle for control, now stuck out at various angles from her head. Nick even lost the staring contest they had—the winner getting his or her way. Lily giggled and ran around the room, hiding behind a chair, a table, or the bed.
“Lily! Get over here, right now!” Nick, usually low on patience, had completely run out of it at this point. “You won’t get any cookies if you don’t,” he added as a threat.
Clearly, it had no effect on Lily because she continued to run circles around him. So, seeing no other choice, Nick began to chase after her. Dodging around the furniture and sidestepping over scattered toys, he finally managed to catch her. Holding her wriggling body close, he settled in the rocking chair and had just managed to tie the ribbon on haphazardly when his cell phone beeped in his pocket.
Shaking his head over the way half of her hair fell out of the ribbon, he let Lily go and answered the call.
“Hey, Nick! It’s Brian.”
Nick frowned. Brian was starting to become a semi-permanent fixture in his life again. The man was always calling and dropping by. Not normal behavior for Brian, considering the relationship he and Nick had stopped having in recent years.
“Uh, hey, Brian. What’s up?”
“Not much,” Brian replied cheerfully. “Actually, I have a favor to ask of you.”
Nick furrowed his brows. “Uh, okay. What is it?”
“Can I have Lily?”
“What?” Nick’s gaze shot over to where Lily was playing with a xylophone. Actually, she was banging away on it painfully, but Nick decided he could deal with it. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, can I borrow her for the evening? Baylee’s really been getting on my case about seeing her again, and Leighanne and I have the biggest headaches from his screaming. So we were wondering if we could have her over for a while. Maybe you and Autumn could go out or something? Have a little private time. I know Leigh and I craved it after a while with Bay.” Brian paused. “So, what do you say?”
Nick glanced up as Autumn appeared in the doorway of Lily’s room. “One second, Brian.” He placed a hand over the receiver. “Hey, Autumn. This is gonna sound kinda crazy, but Brian and Leighanne want to borrow Lily for the night. Baylee really wants to see her, and Brian figured we could use a little time alone, too.”
Autumn knelt next to Lily and deftly straightened her daughter’s hair. “Wow, I didn’t know Baylee enjoyed Lily quite that much. But I don’t know, Nick. I mean, I kind of wanted to spend tonight staying in with you guys, since I have to leave tomorrow.”
Nick nodded, though he felt strangely let down at the thought that he and Autumn wouldn’t be alone tonight. “I’ll tell Brian.”
As he lifted the phone to his ear again to let Brian know, Autumn sighed. “You know what? It’s okay. Tell Brian we’ll drop her off on our way to dinner or something. Lily should be hanging out with other children. I can’t keep her with me all the time, right?”
Not knowing how to answer, Nick lifted a shoulder vaguely. “She does need friends.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
When she didn’t say more, Nick turned back to his cell and let Brian know the good news. The relief in Brian’s voice was obvious, and he offered to pay for whatever Nick and Autumn wanted to do. Nick told him not to worry and that they’d be there in an hour or so.
Nearly an hour later, Nick pulled his car into the driveway of Brian’s Los Angeles home. Autumn unbuckled Lily from her car seat and carried her and a baby bag with everything Lily could possibly need to the front door.
Before she could even ring the doorbell, the door swung open.
“Oh, thank goodness!” Leighanne looked harassed but managed a smile for Autumn. “Brian and I are at our wits’ end. We told Baylee that Lily was on her way over, but he didn’t believe us. He’s been throwing tantrums right and left.” But before she could say another word, Baylee ran up to the door.
“Lily!” The frown on Baylee’s face was instantly replaced with glee as he reached his arms up for Lily, who had begun to chant “Bay! Bay!” by this point.
Leighanne looked visibly relieved and smiled gratefully at Autumn before looking down at her son. “See, Baylee? Didn’t Daddy and I promise you that Lily was coming over?”
“Uh-huh. Sorry, Mommy.” Baylee gave Lily’s little hand a high five. “Come on, Lily. Let’s go play with my toys.”
Autumn must have looked hesitant to set her daughter down because Leighanne gave her an encouraging smile. “It’s okay. Brian’s back in the playroom where Bay must have left him. Lily will be fine.”
“I brought her baby bag,” Autumn began, letting Lily down and watching her run off after Baylee. “Everything that you need is in there. She hasn’t had dinner and, usually, anything that you have for dinner is fine for her, too. Just soften it up a little. She’ll probably fall asleep around ten without too much fuss. If she does-”
“Autumn. Relax.” Leighanne grinned at the anxious expression on Autumn’s face. “I know how toddlers work. After all, I raised one, too.”
Autumn nodded, mildly convinced. “You’re right. I know. I always get freaked out when I have to leave her anywhere where I won’t be. Nick’s going to get a book-length lecture tomorrow before I leave. I can’t help it.”
“She’s your baby. I get it. I did and still do the same thing.” Leighanne patted Autumn’s arm. “Relax and have fun tonight. Tell Nick I said hi. We’ll take good care of Lily here.”
Autumn stepped out the front door and glanced nervously over Leighanne’s shoulder when she heard Lily’s infectious laughter. “You’re right. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
But she worried as Nick pulled out of the driveway. She had to keep herself from nervously chewing on her nails over it even as they pushed through the gaggle of paparazzi waiting outside their restaurant. She could barely sit still through appetizers, and Nick finally grew tired of it.
“Quit it.”
Autumn blinked, surprised. “Excuse me?”
Nick took her hand in his and squeezed gently. “Look, I know you’re worried about Lily. But this isn’t the first time you’ve had to leave her with someone. I promise, Brian and Leighanne will make sure that she’s perfectly safe. I worry about her, too, you know.”
She knew it was true. The look in his eyes didn’t lie. Neither did the dozens of times she’d walked in on Lily and Nick laughing over something that didn’t involve her. Nick was becoming every bit the parent that she was to Lily. That fact made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, but he didn’t have to know it.
“I know you worry about her, too. And I know I’ve been ruining this date that we’re trying to have.” Autumn glanced past Nick at the photographers outside the windows. Squeezing his hand back, she sighed. “I’ll try not to think of Lily for the rest of the night. I promise.”
Nick studied her for a moment, knowing that she would definitely think of Lily at least once every five minutes. At least it would be an improvement over constant worry. “Okay,” he said finally. He leaned towards her conspiratorially. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Where are we going?”
He signaled the waiter over and asked for the check. When it had been paid, he stood and held out a hand for Autumn. “Trust me. It’ll be fun.”
She hesitated for a moment, but, seeing the sparkle in his eyes and realizing that he knew she was still worried and wanted to take her mind off it for a bit, she suddenly knew that she did, in fact, trust him. With everything. It was an unnerving realization, but it was comforting, too. So she took his hand and let him lead her out of the restaurant, through the crush of reporters, and into their car.
***
He’d been right, Nick thought, nearly an hour after they’d left the restaurant. In all the time he’d known Autumn, he’d never seen her cut loose. This night had seemed like the perfect time. She needed to relax, and God knows he’d needed a night of partying, too. Not that he could flirt with any of the women or get wasted—not that he wanted to.
Watching Autumn dance in the middle of the club, her eyes closed, and a slight smile on her face, Nick wondered how any man could prevent himself from looking at her. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Her dark hair curled wildly down her back and the little black dress she wore showed off long, long legs that made him want to sing a thousand praises to whoever had invented short dresses. In other words, Nick felt a kind of lust he hadn’t felt for anyone in a very, very long time.
When he held a hand out to her, she took it, laughing, as he drew her close. “I’m glad we came here. I haven’t been out dancing in so long!”
“Glad I could help,” Nick replied, raising his voice to be heard over the music as he danced with her.
She moved out of his reach again then twirled back into his arms where Nick caught her and held her. The music seemed to slow, the people and the noise around them receded, and the world narrowed and centered on the two of them. His eyes never breaking contact with hers, Nick slid an arm around her waist and brought her against him. He heard the tiny gasp escape her throat and, savoring the feel of her, lowered his lips to hers. He couldn’t prevent himself.
Long moments passed before Autumn’s eyes fluttered shut, and her arms wound around his neck and pulled him closer. Feeling the tiny sigh of surrender tremble on her lips, Nick let his own eyes close and sank into the feel, the taste that was Autumn.
***
The picture of the passionate kiss was splashed across every magazine cover the following day. While publicists rejoiced and celebrity news anchors relished the juicy images and story of a golden couple so deeply in love, the couple in the spotlight was not quite so pleased.
Autumn snapped her seat belt together and, resting her chin on her hand, stared out at the tarmac through the airplane window. The image of Nick and Lily waving her goodbye at the security checkpoint flashed through her mind’s eye. Even as it made her smile wistfully, wondering at what could have, under any circumstances, been a dream come true, she struggled to remember that it wasn’t real.
The kiss had left her more confused than ever as to what was happening. Nick Carter had a fabulous pair of lips, and they’d done quite the number on her both times they’d touched hers. But, she tried to remind herself, he’d simply been playing a role that she could not and should not confuse with reality.
For, in reality, Nick Carter and Autumn Evans were business partners of a sort. Nothing more. And if, in some secret part of her heart, she wished that they could be more and the illusion could be a reality, she knew that their sham marriage would come to an end soon. If she let herself believe the lie, she was sure to end up heartbroken.
But she had to admit that, knowing her run as Mrs. Nick Carter would end soon, made a tiny piece of her heart break.
Author's Notes:
I'm baaaaa-ack! I'm super grateful to all of you who waited so patiently all summer for this story to be updated again. I was working at a summer camp, which meant I was on duty 24/7 and I was too exhausted to write when I could sleep instead! But, I'm back and I'm recovered, and here's the next chapter in the Nick and Autumn saga...Enjoy!
Tokyo was the first stop on the tour. The last time Nick had been there, it had been in early winter of 2005 while touring for Never Gone. While the Boys were there for the same reasons they’d been there in the past, the circumstances were completely different. For one thing, Kevin was no longer with them. There was an endless supply of questions on how the Boys felt touring without him for the first time. None of them were quite sure exactly how they felt as they’d mostly tried to block it out. Brian’s answer summed up whatever the other three were thinking.
“Things are absolutely different without Kevin. Our big brother, the one who always watched out for us is missing, and we definitely feel his absence. The thing is, no matter how much we miss him and wish he were here, we still have work to do, music to make, and fans to please. So that’s what we’ll focus on.”
In addition to the Backstreet Boys being different, Nick’s life was completely different, so the questions he was personally asked by translators were different.
“How did you know Autumn was the woman you wanted to spend your life with?”
“Were you ready to become a husband and father at the same time?”
And his personal favorite…
“Your relationship was fairly young when you decided to marry. Was it the relationship in the bedroom that convinced you to marry?”
Good thing Autumn had been there to answer that one, since he’d been busy trying not to choke on the water he’d been sipping on during the interview. While he’d turned red and sputtered, Autumn had smoothly answered the question. She easily deflected it, saying that, meeting Nick, she’d fallen in love. Love at first sight on both their parts seemed to sate the Japanese reporter’s appetite as it was far more romantic than lust.
Autumn had been immensely amused at Nick’s horrified embarrassment, to say the least.
The sights and sounds of Tokyo, though, made the incident slip right out of her mind. Nick enjoyed watching the wonder and awe light up her face as she took in the architecture, the people, and the very smells of the city. Lily clapped her hands with glee at the colorful lights and enormous LCD screens that topped some buildings. Downtown Tokyo was like a carnival for his two girls, and Nick wanted to feed them as much of it as he possibly could with their busy schedule.
After lunch with the other guys at a fabulous restaurant that they’d discovered on their last trip to the city, they headed back to the hotel for an hour’s break. Lily was to stay on at the hotel with the au pair that Autumn had carefully selected for the tour. Though she fretted about leaving her daughter alone while Summer was stalking her, Autumn had nearly convinced herself that her twin was on the other side of the Pacific where she couldn’t touch Lily or Autumn.
The note sitting neatly on the coffee table in their suite shattered every illusion Autumn had of distance meaning safety.
You can run, but you can’t hide.
The blood in her veins ran cold, and her fingers clutched the slip of paper convulsively. It was Summer’s handwriting, and, considering the envelope had no stamp, it was probable that she had found a way into their suite. Which meant that she was close, too close.
Nowhere was safe.
Even as she turned, half thinking of grabbing her daughter and running, Nick carried a napping Lily into the suite. One look at her pale face had him speeding up to reach her.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Nick kept his voice low in an attempt to not wake Lily, but his free hand reached out and cupped her face, tilting her chin to look into her eyes.
Autumn crumpled the note behind her back, determined not to make her problem his. “N-nothing,” she managed to say. “I guess I’m just more tired than I thought. All that traveling and then interviews as soon as we landed. It just got to me.” She lifted a hand to the one he’d placed against her cheek. “I’m fine, Nick. In fact, for the next half hour, I’m going to follow Lily’s lead and take a nap. Energize myself for the next round.”
He frowned at her. “You’re lying to me, and I’m not sure why. You’ve traveled like this before when you did the shoot in Peru. It can’t be just that.”
“Why not?” she snapped, annoyed that he could see right through her. “We didn’t just travel south a couple hours this time, Nick. This is across an entire ocean. My first time doing it, too. Why can’t I just be exhausted?”
Though he knew, knew, there was something else bugging her, he didn’t want to upset her. It hurt that she wouldn’t trust him with whatever was going on, but she would probably remind him of their privacy pact if he pushed any further. So, stepping back, he nodded.
“Of course, you can. I’m sorry I made you angry. I was just trying to help you, take care of you. It’s what friends do.”
His quiet apology shamed her, and she wished she could tell him about Summer. But she couldn’t. It was for his own good. “No, I’m sorry, Nick. I really am tired, which makes me cranky. We would all probably be better off with a nap.” She held out her arms. “I can take Lily with me. If you want.”
Nick glanced down at the sleeping child in his arms. Pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, he shook his head. “We’ll have a nap together. Family time.”
“Right,” Autumn agreed after a moment’s hesitation. “Family nap time.”
As she followed Nick out of the parlor and into the bedroom, she tossed Summer’s latest threat into the wastebasket, hoping with all her heart that her twin would find her way to Autumn blocked.
***
Two days later, they were in Italy. In between the whirlwind of cheering fans, endless questions, interviews, photoshoots, and mini performances, the group found time to enjoy the beautiful country. Nick caught every reaction Autumn and Lily had of the various cities on camera. Lily loved the gondola ride in Venice and would’ve stayed on all day if she could. Nick was pretty sure Autumn would’ve moved into the jewelry district of Milan if he hadn’t pulled her out—but not without buying both his girls bracelets; ruby-encrusted gold for Lily and emerald in white-gold for Autumn. In his own wanderings, Brian stumbled upon a small winery outside of Venice, and off they all headed to taste test.
The picture Autumn made when she tried out a sip of very young wine was an image Nick put in his mental scrapbook. The sour face was a memory he’d pull out one day not so long from now when they’d both go their separate ways. It was a memory he’d treasure for reasons that scared him and thrilled him at once.
The promotional tour went from Milan to Venice and ended in Rome. While Autumn drank in the sights and sounds of trendy Milan, romantic Venice, and reverent Rome, it was the countryside of Tuscany that pulled at her. The two hour stop on the way to Venice was all it took for Autumn to decide that, when she retired from acting, she would head straight to this perfect spot.
Nick saw the beauty of the scenery and the picturesque city, but the ocean was for him. Just another reason, he told himself, that they were two very different individuals and definitely did not belong together. He was surprised no one else had been able to see that. Obviously, he was the only sane one not caught up in the romance of Nick and Autumn.
Fortunately, he reminded himself, there was no time to really worry about what was really happening between he and Autumn. The Italian press and fans were keeping the group too busy to breathe.
On their third day in Italy, they were in Rome. When the Boys went off to do an interview for various magazines, Leighanne, Autumn, Baylee, and Lily sneaked off to explore the city. Their first stop was a costume shop to buy Autumn an elaborate hat for a disguise. While she didn’t quite think the wide-brimmed straw hat topped with pink lilies was inconspicuous, Autumn was having too much fun to stop.
Leighanne had been to Rome before, so she led their explorations. Though Autumn warned herself that she’d have to carry everything she bought back to the hotel, it didn’t stop her from buying the painting the street artist had done of the lovely old buildings against the backdrop of river. Nor did it stop her from buying the tiny, ornate gold chain for Nick, the anklets for Liz, or the gilded clock for their mantle at home.
“It’s all just too pretty to pass up,” she defended her choices to Leighanne when they settled at a table in a trattoria. Lily and Baylee busily crunched away on biscotti, while their mothers sipped espressos.
Leighanne chuckled. “I know exactly how you feel. The first time I came, Brian had to remind me that we still had to get it all back to the States. Don’t worry,” she added quickly at Autumn’s horrified expression, “you haven’t bought anywhere near as much as I got that first trip. You can relax.”
Autumn thumped a hand on her heart. “Damn it, Leighanne. Way to give me a heart attack. I mean, damn it, my mind was already racing through all the ways I could get all of this home. Well.” She sighed. “I don’t have to give up my painting.”
“No, you don’t.” Leighanne patted her knee. “So, I take it you’ve been enjoying the tour?”
Autumn tapped her fingers on the rim of her espresso mug. “Oh, absolutely. I knew it would be full of interviews and such, but it’s still so amazing to see all these places that I’ve never been before.”
“Ahh, the life of a superstar wife,” Leighanne mused good-naturedly.
“Well, it’s true.” Autumn grinned. “It definitely has its perks.”
“I bet being Nick’s wife has more than just a few perks.”
Autumn bit her lip, knowing what Leighanne was asking. “More than just a few,” she agreed. It was hard to know exactly which of those perks, though, was real and which was only because they were playing a role. They’d been friends before they’d been married and before they’d been angry with each other. It appeared that they’d worked their way back to that stage again. She couldn’t argue with the fact that Nick was one hell of a good friend.
But those kisses…
No. Autumn shoved her mind into a different gear. If she so much as thought of those unforgettable moments, ones she’d begun to dream of, she’d work herself into an unneeded state. Leighanne didn’t need to know that the kisses, the precious moments that the three of them really did feel like a family, that those moments were all contrived. They were just another result of the plan.
And just thinking of the plan that surely had an end was going to put her completely out of the good mood she was in, Autumn knew.
She was working her way back to the easy mood when Leighanne’s words made her blink in surprise. “Come again?”
Leighanne pursed her lips and looked a bit nervous. “I know you probably don’t want to, but I was hoping that, tonight, you could leave Lily with Brian and I. Baylee’s been on the warpath about a new sister, and Brian’s warmed up to the idea completely. We want to see what it would be like with two.”
“I thought you didn’t want more children,” Autumn reminded her.
Leighanne shrugged. “I thought I didn’t either. Now, my boys are making me wonder what it might be like to have another child. I thought it was enough to just have Baylee, but when Lily was over that night a couple weeks ago, it made me start thinking about what it would be like to have a little girl. How different it would be with a baby girl. So now Brian and I are leaning towards trying for another.”
“Wow,” Autumn stated after a long moment. “All because of Lily?”
Leighanne managed a small smile as she glanced over at the two children. “All because of Lily—with help from Baylee, of course.”
“Of course.”
“So, what do you say?” Leighanne turned back to Autumn. “I know it’s the second time we’ve asked you, but Brian and I would really love to have Lily spend the night with us. We’re right down the hall from your room, and I’m sure you and Nick would appreciate a night out on the city. The two of you could have some fun and not worry about Lily.”
Though anytime she thought of being somewhere without Lily it made Summer’s face loom menacingly in her head, Autumn knew Leighanne was right. Lily was as safe as she could possibly be. Besides, she could use a night to herself. Alone. Because the thought of being alone with Nick in a city as full of romance as Rome scared her witless, she tried not to think of it.
“Okay,” she said finally.
***
The blonde was gorgeous, and her voice purred in his ear. The Italian accent only enhanced the seductive quality of her voice. Her chocolate brown eyes fluttered coyly when he managed to smile at her. Her voluptuous body, clad sparingly in a snug red dress, curved into his.
In an attempt to save himself, he lifted his glass and sipped champagne to wet his suddenly dry throat. The dryness, he realized, wasn’t from the way the blonde was hanging all over him. The parched quality of his throat was from the sudden realization that, despite the curvy blonde in his arms, his mind was unerringly focused on a pair of emerald eyes.
The idea that one woman could hold his attention even when she wasn’t around him was terrifying. What kind of hold had Autumn gotten on his head in the short amount of time they’d known each other?
Not even a year, Nick thought, as the blonde finally got the clue that he wasn’t paying her attention and slunk away. He’d met her in October of the previous year, and it was now June. Nine months, and she had changed his life in irrevocable ways. He was married, for Pete’s sake. He’d never seen that coming. Add being a father to the list, and it made his head spin at the twists his life had undergone so quickly.
“Where’d you go?”
Nick blinked and brought himself back to reality. Glancing around at the room full of press, agents, and important guests, he turned to AJ. “Right here.”
AJ studied him then shook his head. “Nope. I don’t think so. Where did you really go?”
“Jeez, AJ. Where would I possibly go when we’ve got to schmooze with the Italians?” Nick asked, trying to keep his voice from sounding to irritable.
AJ’s brows lifted. “Well, well, well. Somebody sounds like he’s missing the little woman.”
“Shut up.”
“Oh, you so are.”
“I don’t think I ever asked for your opinion.”
“Not an opinion,” AJ pointed out, gleefully. “It’s an observation.”
“Yeah, well, your observational skills suck.” Now, he was definitely irritable.
AJ lifted a shoulder in response. “Dude, you totally made that hot blonde sulk. Plus, you’ve been spacing out on the reporters that keep wanting to talk to you. You’re standing in a corner, by yourself, and you expect any of us to think you’re not missing Autumn? Do you remember how Kevin and Brian were after they were married?”
He did. He did remember, and he had to admit—grudgingly—that he was acting the same way. “Well, I guess I know how they felt,” he muttered.
AJ patted his shoulder. “Buck up, pal. Only another hour of this, and you’ll be able to see her again. Think she’s seen what you got her?”
“I hope not. I kind of wanted to be there when she opened it. You know, to see the look on her face.” He smiled a little at the idea of her expression when she saw the present he’d gotten her.
“You would’ve been dead meat if you’d forgotten her birthday was today,” AJ told him cheerfully. “Lucky you that we’re in Italy, right now. Makes finding a gift a piece of cake."
“Hey.” Brian wandered over. “Are we having a meeting that I’m missing out on?”
AJ slid a cigarette out and ran it between his fingers. “Maybe. Maybe it’s a secret meeting that you weren’t invited to.”
“What are we, five?” Brian arched his brows when AJ pulled out his lighter. “Try waiting until we’re outside, buddy.”
AJ’s brows lowered. “Man, you ruin all the fun. We’re in Europe, and no one cares where you do it. Unless you’re in the UK,” he added as an afterthought.
Brian rolled his eyes. “So, what are the two of you gossiping about over here?”
“Nothing.” Nick continued to study the room. “Stuff.”
“Autumn,” AJ supplied, helpfully.
Nick frowned, but Brian grinned. “Aww, that’s so cute! Our pwecious, wittle Nicky is so in love he can’t live without his wife by his side.”
“Reminds me of someone else we know,” Nick muttered.
Brian’s grin never faltered. “It’s true, and I’m not at all ashamed. If you love her, you love her. Right, Nick?”
“Right.” He tried to put more enthusiasm into it, but the L word freaked him out. A lot of things about that word were beginning to scare him more and more every day. It was getting tougher to ignore it.
Brian slung an arm across his shoulders. “Let me be the first to give you the good news, pal.”
“Good news?” Nick frowned and looked over into Brian’s twinkling eyes. “What good news?”
“You get Autumn all to yourself tonight.” Brian’s brows wagged. “Lily’s spending the night with my family. I know it’s her birthday, and you’ll want to do something special for her. But try to be good tonight and get plenty of sleep, eh?”
Nick worked hard to keep his jaw from dropping. He would be alone with Autumn? He remembered the last time they’d gone without Lily as a barrier. And that had only been for the evening.
“I’m so excited. Thanks, man!” It was the most enthusiasm he could muster as the possibilities for the night raced through his head…
Author's Notes:
In honor of being the Featured Story of the Month, I thought it would be bad if I didn't get around to actually updating during this month. So I ditched class readings for a while and wrote and wrote and TA-DA! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!
Nick paced the parlor of the suite. Back and forth, back and forth. He glanced at his watch for the five thousandth time in the past hour.
Where was she?
When he’d gotten back to their hotel room from the afternoon event at the Italian press club, Autumn had already been gone. The only evidence that she’d ever stopped by their room at all since that morning was the large, wrapped painting in the corner and a pile of shopping bags next to the dresser. He’d called Brian to find out if Leighanne had made it back and had discovered that Lily was already hanging out in their suite. Leighanne hadn’t known where Autumn had gone as she’d simply assumed that Autumn would be in her own rooms.
There was a knot in his belly that clenched sickly when he thought of all the places and all the things that could have possibly happened to her. He’d called her cell phone dozens of times, left at least half a dozen messages, and she hadn’t returned a single phone call.
“Damn it! For the love of God, Autumn!” Nick kicked a side table hard then scrambled to grab it before it tipped over. “Great, just great. If you were where you were supposed to be, then I wouldn’t be freaking the hell out over where you are,” he continued to rant aloud to his invisible wife. “Why the hell wouldn’t you at least be cautious and let security know where you’re going? Or maybe, if it wouldn’t kill you, leave me a note?”
His muttering and complaining continued as he began pacing again. When he passed the credenza near the door of the suite, his gaze focused on the package he’d set upon it. To think he’d been so thoughtful as to actually spend time and energy thinking about what to get her for her birthday only to have her slip out without letting him know where it was she was going.
Or who she was going with.
He felt his heart stop at the thought before the scowl spread over his face. They might have been married for all the world to see, but that didn’t mean either of them weren’t allowed to discreetly see other people. After all, it wasn’t as though they were in love. Right?
It felt like a sharp dagger had been thrust into his heart at the thought of Autumn with another man. He could curse the fact that he had a damn good imagination and could easily see Autumn wrapped around some faceless guy who clearly wasn’t good enough for her and…
“Why the fuck should it make a difference to me who the hell she’s with?” he muttered aloud. “It’s not like we’re really husband and wife.”
But it felt like they were. Damn it, there were times when he’d forget himself and think that they really were together and not just for show. Sometimes, they’d stand together and watch Lily while she slept, and he’d feel so content to just put his arm around her shoulders and have her lean against him. She was the only one who truly understood everything he felt because she was going through the drama of their false marriage, too. They were friends…
But then there were times when he’d wake up in the middle of the night, aching and sweaty because he’d dreamt of being with her. It was embarrassing as hell, but he couldn’t quite stop his blood from burning whenever she was around. It was becoming harder and harder to keep his hands from touching her, but he had to for self-preservation purposes.
She would probably shoot him down if he tried anything.
He checked his watch again. Ten-thirty. No one had heard from her in the past five hours, and his gut was roiling with worry. Where could she be? What if she was lying in a dark alley somewhere, dead because she hadn’t taken security with her? What if she’d been kidnapped and, any minute now, the ransom note would show up?
He should call the cops, Nick thought and reached for his phone. He’d already begun to dial the phone when he stopped himself. He was acting like a worried father or something and had no desire to fall into that role. Autumn was a responsible adult with a smart head on her shoulders. She knew what she was doing.
Nick just wished she would talk to him more. Let him in more. There were things she was hiding from him, and he’d thought they’d gotten past that in their friendship. Obviously, he’d been wrong.
Dropping his cell phone onto a side table, he headed for the door. Since Autumn had decided to skip out on their free night out, he’d just do whatever it was he wanted to, too. Even if it meant just sitting in the hotel bar for a couple hours.
***
He stared. He couldn’t help it. He also couldn’t believe it. All that time he spent worrying and pacing and imagining a thousand horrible things that could’ve happened to her.
She was fine. She was so fine, in fact, that she was sitting at the bar, chatting it up with the bartender. There wasn’t a hair out of place on her head, and she looked perfect in the short, breezy white skirt and the slinky blue top that left her arms and back bare and dipped low at the neckline. His mouth watered before he controlled himself and reminded himself that she hadn’t responded to all of his calls and messages.
“Responsible, my ass,” he muttered and stalked over to her. He put his hand on her shoulder and nearly yanked her off the stool. “Where the hell have you been? Do you know how worried I’ve been?”
Autumn blinked before she gave him a big goofy grin. “Hi, Nick! Hi!” She turned to the bartender. “See, Luciano, this is Nick, my husband. He’s a great husband. Luciano and I were just talking about you, Nicky,” she told him happily.
Nick tamped down on his anger and studied her face. Her eyes were glassy as a result of the alcohol, and he sent Luciano a small smile. “Hello. What’s she been drinking and how much?”
“Only two margaritas, signore. She just wants to talk more. Your wife, she is a lonely person.” Luciano’s eyes held understanding, and Nick looked back down into Autumn’s face and felt like he’d kicked a small puppy.
Hadn’t he known she wasn’t telling anyone anything that was really on her mind? He didn’t care that he was just her fake husband, he wanted to be her friend. Being a friend meant talking about how you felt. Then again, he thought, it wasn’t as though he shared everything with her either.
“Autumn.” He cupped her face gently in his hands and had to smile at the way her eyes were suddenly wary.
She put her hand on one of his wrists and kept her eyes on his. There was something different in them tonight. It made her heart beat thickly. “Nick. I’m really not that drunk. I can hold my drink. I swear.”
He chuckled and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Autumn, if you wanted to talk, I was right upstairs in our suite. I’ve been waiting for you for hours.” He tapped a finger on her nose. “We haven’t celebrated your birthday yet, you know.”
“My birthday?” She seemed confused for a second and then remembered. “Oh, my god! How could I forget my own birthday?”
“It must be all the traveling,” Nick suggested. “Anyway, why don’t we go up and end your birthday by just relaxing? I got you a present.”
Her eyebrows winged up. “A present? Really?” She slid out of his reach and off the barstool. “Hey, Luciano? Can I have a bottle of your best champagne? We’re gonna go celebrate me being twenty-four!”
Luciano looked over at Nick questioningly. When Nick nodded, Luciano held out a bottle to Nick. “Enjoy your evening, signore, signora. Happy birthday.”
In the elevator, Nick passed the bottle back and forth from hand to hand as he watched Autumn. She couldn’t stop moving and was nearly jumping out of her skin as she babbled about film shoots, touring, and anything and everything but herself.
“Autumn.” Nick’s voice was quiet but caught her attention. “Are you always this jumpy when you’re tipsy?”
She blushed furiously. “No, ah, no. I’m not. It’s just, it’s weird that I forgot my own birthday. I feel all turned around and inside out. Like I’m not myself. Luciano was nice, wasn’t he? He just listened when I told him about all of our touring and everything we’ve seen and done. I swear, the Italians are so sweet.” And she was babbling again.
When the elevator stopped on their floor, Nick took hold of her elbow and steered her out and toward their room. Once he’d unlocked the door and let them in, Autumn sank into one of the plush sofas in the parlor and sighed.
“I swear, walking the city of Rome kills your feet. Mine hurt so badly.” She slipped her shoes off and wiggled her toes. “So, Nick, how was your day?”
He unearthed a pair of short glasses out of the bar and set about tearing open the foil on the bottle of champagne. “It was okay. The showcase went well, and the press club thing wasn’t so bad. AJ made fun of me because he thought I missed having you with me.”
“Oh.” The single word was drawn out. He didn’t look over to see the expression on her face. “So, was he right?”
Her voice was tinged with nerves, he noted and nearly smiled as he popped the cork off the bottle and poured. “Maybe. A little. I just missed being able to make snarky comments about the people who were there. It makes things more fun whenever we do that.”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “It does.” She took the glass he handed her and waited until he sat across from her.
Nick clinked his glass with hers. “Happy Birthday, Autumn.”
“Mmm.” She sipped a little. The margaritas had already gone to her head, and she knew the champagne was bound to do the same. You only live once, she thought philosophically and drank more. “Happy birthday, indeed.”
***
An hour later, they were sprawled on the floor, the bottle of champagne finished off and lying next to them. Nick had opened up a bottle of Cristal for her and bourbon for himself that he’d found in the suite’s mini-fridge, and it was well on its way to being finished, too.
“Okay, pay attention,” Nick instructed as he arranged cards and dealt out cards to both of them. “I don’t think I’ll be able to do this again, so you gotta pay attention. ‘Kay?”
Autumn squinted her bleary eyes. She’d definitely consumed more than her limit. “Okay. I just didn’t know poker was this hard.”
“It’s not. You’re drunk.”
“Well, yeah. But I can still think…I think.”
Because she looked so adorable when she scrunched up her nose in thought, Nick leaned over and smacked a kiss on her lips and grinned when she scowled. “You can’t think. Your brain is swimming in Cristal. S’okay, ‘cause I’m headed that way, too.”
She flopped onto her back, giving Nick a fantastic view of her ivory smooth skin. He shut his mouth to keep his tongue from flopping out onto the floor. “Can we play a game that I know already? That way, I can actually play.” She paused. “I think my ears are swimming in champagne,” she decided. “It sounds like my voice is coming from far, far away.” For some reason, the thought made her giggle, and she burst into peals of laughter.
Nick didn’t get it, but he couldn’t resist and ran his fingers over her shoulder and neck. She felt smooth, so smooth, but he knew she was definitely off limits. The game, he reminded himself. Focus on the game. “We can play Go Fish.”
“Ooh!” Autumn sat up again, her shirt shifting and affording Nick even more glimpses of her skin. Her skirt was riding high on her legs, and he decided if he could make it through the night without touching her, he’d be a saint. “I love that game! But.” Her voice dropped. “Let’s add a twist to it.”
“A twist?”
“Uh huh.” She nodded enthusiastically. “I trust you, Nicky. That’s why I have this idea. Every five times I say Go Fish, you lose one piece of clothing. And every ten times, you say Go Fish, I lose something.”
He frowned. “How come it takes longer for you to take something off?”
“Because you’re wearing more clothes than me, silly! It wouldn’t be fair because I’d be wearing nothing before you even took off your shirt.”
“Oh.” Nick wasn’t sure he could handle the idea of a game of strip Go Fish, but the alcohol had muddled his brain. Saintly thoughts could go hang themselves, he thought. “Okay. You’re on.”
After one game of Go Fish, he was down to his boxers and one sock, while she wore her slinky top and white lace underwear. She was good, he thought. Go Fish was definitely her game. If they’d played strip poker, though, he figured he would’ve won.
Autumn shuffled the cards clumsily and smiled over at him. “Wanna play again? You’d lose everything in five minutes.”
“No, I wouldn’t. Besides, you cheated.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Yeah, you did.”
She rolled her eyes. “This is my game, Nicky. I’m unbeatable. Have been since I was six. Get over it.”
“I don’t have to get over anything. You’re the one who can’t get over me,” he pointed out and tried to grab the cards from her. “Admit it. You just wanted me to strip ‘cause you like my body. You know you want me.” He wiggled his brows at her. Or at least, he tried to.
Autumn burst into laughter and was practically rolling on the floor. “Want you? That’s so funny, Nick! That’s hysterical. Why would I want you?”
He folded his arms over his chest, his ego dented. “Prove it. Prove that you don’t want me. That you didn’t like all those times I kissed you.”
“I don’t have to prove anything.”
“Scared?”
“No.”
He shrugged. “Then prove it.”
Autumn stared at him. His face was slightly blurry through her alcohol-hazed vision, but his cocky grin came through bright and clear. “Fine.”
She clambered over the cards and knelt on her knees in front of him. Her hands rested lightly on his shoulders as she leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. Just a slight amount of pressure then she’d backed off. “There. Happy?”
“Dude, that’s how I kiss my sisters.” Nick grinned. “I think you’re just scared to really kiss me because you know you want me. You’re afraid you wouldn’t be able to resist.”
“Shut up, you big jerk.” Autumn pushed him back against the couch and, straddling him, she pressed her lips to his.
The shock was instant, the pull too much to resist. He’d been right, she thought in a dim corner of her mind, she wouldn’t be able to resist. His hands had fisted in her hair as his arms had banded her against him. The kiss was potent, powerful, and she shifted, changing the angle of it, needing more.
“It’s the alcohol,” Autumn muttered against his lips and nearly plastered herself against him.
Nick couldn’t think, could only feel. The punch of the kiss had gotten through the haze of alcohol, and he only knew that he needed her the way he’d needed no other. Even as his mind raced to catch up, his body had taken over. Holding her close against him, he stood in one fluid motion. Her legs stayed locked around him.
“This is probably a mistake,” he told her even as his lips raced across her neck, her shoulders.
Autumn just pressed closer. “It’s an aberration. I don’t really want you.”
“Okay.”
Not knowing or caring where it was going to lead them, he turned and headed towards the bedroom.
Author's Notes:
WOWIE! I had a boatload of inspiration from all of your wonderful reviews and ended up speed-writing another chapter! So thanks so much for all your encouragement and help, and here's the next one! Enjoy!
The buzzer on the suite’s door woke her. Autumn’s eyes blinked open, a bit groggily, and she squinted in the bright sunlight that filtered through the windows. It was obvious she’d forgotten to pull the curtains shut the night before. Vaguely, she wondered what time it was.
There was a small headache brewing in the back of her head, and she decided to roll over and go back to sleep, not sure what it was that had woken her in the first place. When she went to snuggle back into the comforter, she froze.
There was an arm around her waist.
What the hell had happened last night? She couldn’t exactly remember all the details, but she did remember sitting at the hotel bar until Nick had found her…
Nick.
“Please, God. Please let this not be happening,” she whispered, even as she turned her head slightly and found herself looking into Nick’s sleeping face.
Pressing a hand against her mouth to hold back the scream, she carefully lifted the covers and glanced down. Yup, she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. And, by the look and feel of things, neither was Nick.
Ohshitohshitohshitohshit.
When she wriggled a bit to get out of his hold, Nick’s arm just tightened around her waist and pulled her closer, his face buried in her hair. Carefully, so as to not wake him, she turned her head to look into his sleeping face. He seemed perfectly content, she thought, to sleep on while she had herself a major heart attack.
As she lay there curled against him, more details of the previous night came back to her. What on earth had she been thinking when she’d suggested strip Go Fish? For crying out loud, she thought, it was as though, in her drunken state, she’d wanted to sleep with Nick. Not that he’d protested at all. In fact, if she remembered right, he’d been the one to taunt her, daring her to prove that she didn’t like kissing him.
Clearly, he’d won.
When the buzzer sounded again, her eyes popped open. There was someone at the door. Swallowing hard, she curled her hand around Nick’s wrist and slowly lifted his arm off her waist. As fast as she could, she wiggled out from under it and yanked on a robe. It was then that she saw the clothing.
There was the underwear she’d worn the day before…right alongside Nick’s boxers on the floor. Great. The top she’d worn was tossed over a bedpost. She could only imagine the horrors that awaited her in the parlor.
Tightening the belt of the robe, she hurried into the parlor without looking back. Her brows flew up at the sight of several empty bottles of expensive alcohol along with scattered piles of playing cards lying haphazardly on the floor. Nick’s pants and shirt were heaped on the armchair, while her skirt lay half under the loveseat.
“Fuck,” she whispered, then, remembering the door, she stepped around the carnage of the obviously drunken night of debauchery and headed for the door.
Brian and Lily beamed at her when she opened the door. “Did we wake you up?” He grinned as she combed her hair back with her fingers.
“Ah, yeah. Sort of.” Before she could stop him, though, Brian had stepped into the suite, and Autumn was left with no choice but to follow him back.
She found him standing just inside the parlor, his brows raised at the mess in front of him. “Wow.” His grin was lightning quick. “You two certainly had an adventurous night, huh?” When Lily tried to wriggle out of his arms, he shook his head at her. “Not here, Lily. Let’s wait until everything’s cleaned up, okay?”
Lily scrunched up her face and looked over at Autumn. “Mama!” She held out her arms, and Autumn slid her out of Brian’s arms.
“Hi, baby.” She rubbed her nose with Lily’s, making her daughter giggle. “Did you have a good time with Baylee, Brian, and Leighanne? You didn’t give them any trouble, did you?”
“She was great. Seriously great,” Brian told her. “She played peacefully with Baylee, and Leigh and I had the time of our lives with her. I think having her around is definitely convincing Leigh that we should try for another baby. So thanks for letting us borrow her.”
Autumn shifted Lily onto her hip and smiled, a little frazzled still, at Brian. “No problem. It was strange to not have her around, but, uh, it was okay. I guess.”
Brian looked back at the tangle of clothing, bottles, and cards then back at her, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “I’ll just bet it was. So, who lost?”
She shut her eyes briefly, knowing that, by day’s end everyone else on the tour would know about the night she and Nick had had. “Uh, well, we played Go Fish.”
“Oh.” He looked at the cards. “Huh. I didn’t know Go Fish involved stripping.”
Autumn knew she was bright red, she could practically feel her ears flaming red. “It was strip Go Fish,” she said in a tiny voice. “Nick lost.”
“He’s still sleeping?”
“Yeah.”
“Well.” Brian stuck his hands in his pockets and continued to grin at her. “By the looks of things, both of you seem to have won. I guess you must have really liked the birthday present he got you, huh?”
She frowned. “Birthday present?”
“Yeah. He was really excited about giving it to you. He had it commissioned a month ago when he found out we were going to be in Italy on your birthday.” Brian stopped and studied her face. “He didn’t give it to you?”
She shook her head. “It was a crazy night, all in all, but I do remember him saying something about a present. He probably forgot in all the excitement.”
“I’ll bet.” Brian glanced around the room again then over at Autumn. “Well, I’ll just get out of your way. See you in a couple hours for lunch, right?”
Autumn wracked her brain for what was on her schedule for the day. “Yeah. Lunch. See you then.”
“Make sure Nick wakes up soon.”
“I will.” She bit her lip. “See you later.”
When the door shut behind him, Autumn pressed her face against Lily’s throat as her daughter patted her cheeks. “Oh, Lily. What am I going to do now?”
“Mama?” Lily’s questioning voice made her lift her head. “Where Daddy?”
Autumn froze. Daddy? “Who, Lily?” She couldn’t mean Nick, could she? She’d always called him Nicky, so she couldn’t possibly be referring to him. Right?
“Daddy, Mama, Daddy!” Lily bounced in her arms, and Autumn took a deep breath and decided to take a chance.
She carried Lily into the bedroom and gestured towards Nick. “Do you mean Nick, baby?”
When Lily saw Nick’s sleeping form, she clapped her hands. “Daddy!” When she wriggled out of Autumn’s arms, Autumn let her go and watched her little girl bolt towards the bed. Lily struggled to climb on top of the bed, and Autumn watched as her efforts and her voice woke Nick.
Groggy, he registered the fact that Lily was calling him, and she looked comical trying to climb on the bed and sliding off the comforter. His head felt as though a marching band was playing horribly inside it, but he reached for her and pulled her up.
“Daddy!” Lily threw her arms around him and kissed his face. “Missed you!”
Nick absorbed the shock of her words and the accompanying warmth that spread through him before his arms pulled her close. “Missed you, too, Lily.”
Over Lily’s head, his eyes met Autumn’s as she stood in the doorway. He could see the understanding in her eyes the instant she knew he remembered what they’d done the night before.
“Autumn.” His voice sounded like a plea to his ears, and he didn’t quite know what he wanted to say to her, ask her.
“We have to meet everyone for lunch in a couple hours. I’m going to try to clean up, so if you could watch Lily, that would be great.” Without waiting for an answer, she turned and left.
Nick sighed and laid back against the pillows again while Lily sat on his chest. “Well, munchkin. What am I supposed to do now?”
***
The tour moved from Italy to London for the last of its international stops. In London, Nick and Autumn were followed everywhere by the paparazzi. If they had thought being in the States or Japan was hard, the London media was all over them. They camped out in droves outside of the hotel and were always waiting for the couple to emerge after any interviews. Brian joked that if their album hit number one in its first week out, it would be all thanks to Autumn and Nick.
If anyone noticed that the couple at the center of attention was barely speaking to each other, no one said anything. Ever since that night in Rome, the only time Nick or Autumn spoke to each other was when Lily needed something or in order to keep up pretenses for everyone else on the tour.
Behind the closed doors of their hotel suite, Lily was the only one who spoke.
When their stay in London ended, the group split for a few days before the start of the promotional tour in the US. While Autumn wanted nothing more than to head right back to Los Angeles and her end of their house, Nick thought it better that they head down to Tampa. After all, he argued, it would be odd if he never took his family to the place he really considered home. Not wanting to talk to him any more than was necessary, Autumn agreed.
The weather in Tampa was perfect when they landed. It was her first trip to the city, and she eagerly drank in the sun, the sights, and was thrilled when she saw the beach at the edge of Nick’s waterfront property.
“Nick! It’s fantastic, absolutely fantastic,” she gushed in her first show of true emotion in over a week.
Nick stepped up beside her as she leaned against the balcony of his deck. “I love the water. It’s where I’m the most sure of myself. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” she murmured, knowing exactly what he meant. Before he could say anymore, she dashed off the deck and out to the water. It was crystal clear and warm. The sand was a brilliant white in the late-afternoon sunlight. Rolling up her jeans, she stepped into the surf and just breathed in the salty sea air. She hadn’t felt this peaceful in quite a while she had to admit, but just being here did it. She understood exactly how Nick must feel. Standing in the warm water with the sea breeze fluttering her hair, she admitted that the most important reason she hadn’t argued with Nick over coming to Tampa was the fact that LA had Summer and danger. Sure, she was curious about Nick’s home, but she was more interested in protecting her family from Summer.
“Hey, you still with us?” Nick grinned at her when her eyes blinked open and she squinted at his excited face while Lily bounced happily in his arms.
“Water, Mama, water! Wanna play. Daddy, down?” Lily pointed to the water, and Nick carefully set her down so the water washed over her tiny feet. It was still a shock whenever she called him Daddy, but he was getting used to it.
Autumn watched them splash each other and tried not to think of how Lily never called Nick by his name anymore. It was always Daddy this or Daddy that, and she was worried about what their inevitable divorce would do to Lily. In all of the fuss she’d made about her life being disturbed by their marriage, she hadn’t really thought of how attached Lily might become to Nick or how the dissolution of their marriage would hurt Lily.
She hoped that, when the time came to split, Lily wouldn’t be hurt. She’d probably still get to see Nick, seeing how attached he’d become to her little girl, too. Autumn knew she didn’t have the heart to separate them.
The splash of water on her face brought her back to the moment, and she glanced down into Nick and Lily’s mischievous faces.
“Uh-oh,” Lily deadpanned. “Run, Daddy, run!”
The tension that she and Nick had carried around since waking up in bed together vanished as they spent the rest of the afternoon chasing each other through the water, splashing and giggling hysterically.
***
The crash woke her as did the sound of raised voices. Blinking blearily, Autumn squinted at the bedside clock and frowned. It was only seven in the morning, so who was arguing and throwing things?
She leapt out of bed, wrapped herself in her robe, and hurried down the stairs. The sight of broken crockery in the kitchen snapped her mind instantly clear of all fuzziness.
Nick and an older, blonde woman stood in the middle of the mess and shouted at each other.
“Why do you always do this to me, Mom? Can’t you stand to see me happy? Can’t you handle the idea of any of your kids settling down and having a non-dysfunctional life?” Nick’s voice shook with anger and, Autumn was sure, an inner pain.
Jane Carter’s fists were clenched as she glared at her firstborn. “You’re not happy, Nick, and I know it. You’re my baby, and I know that you’re just carrying on with that whore for fun. You didn’t even know her a year ago, why on earth did you marry her?”
“Watch what you call my wife.” His voice was low and menacing, and, for the first time since she’d known him, Autumn saw how dark his anger could be.
“Nick.” She stepped into the room and, going to his side, she placed a hand on his arm. She could all but feel the rage emanating from him. “What’s going on?”
Jane’s eyes narrowed. “So this is the famous Autumn Evans? Not much to look at, but I can see why you’d want to sleep with her. Was it the sex that got you, Nicky?”
When he would’ve leapt forward, Autumn squeezed his arm. “Nick, don’t. Just don’t.”
He looked down at her and saw that his mother’s spiteful words hadn’t affected her. “Autumn, she can’t say things like that about you. It’s not right.”
“She isn’t insulting me, Nick. Don’t get mad at her on my account.” She stroked his cheek, trying to offer comfort. “Can’t you see that she’s just trying to hurt you, using me?” She knew he understood when his hand came up to cover hers and the blue of his eyes darkened with pain and fury. “Let me handle this.”
He stared into her eyes for long moments before he nodded. “Okay.”
Autumn let go of him then and glanced down at the shattered pieces of the white ceramic plates that were usually stocked in Nick’s cabinets. Shattered, she thought, much like Nick’s family was. Her eyes met Jane’s spiteful expression. “Well, this isn’t exactly the way I imagined meeting my mother-in-law, but I suppose it’ll have to do. I can’t say it’s nice to meet you, though, under the circumstances.”
“It’s not. I’d rather not have ever met you, but, unfortunately, my Nickolas never learned to distinguish right from wrong. You are absolutely wrong for him.” Jane’s eyes glittered with malice. “You may have fooled my ex-husband and the rest of my children, but you can’t fool me. I’m his mother, and I can see right through that wholesome image you’re trying to give off.”
Autumn nodded. “Obviously, you believed my sister’s stories.”
“How could I not? Wasn’t the father of your child with your sister? That makes you the lowest kind of woman imaginable. Aren’t you ashamed of hurting your own twin?”
“Mom. Didn’t you hear anything Autumn said in all of her interviews?” Nick’s hand found Autumn’s and squeezed it. “Why are you trying to rehash what’s already been resolved?”
“Because it’s a lie,” Jane spat. “She may have the rest of the world in her palm, but she won’t fool me. You made a mistake, Nick.”
Autumn spoke before Nick could. “Maybe it’s what you’d like to think, Mrs. Carter. Maybe you’d like to think that Nick couldn’t possibly be happy in a marriage because you weren’t, because you’re still bitter about the way your own turned out. But the fact is, Nick and I are happy, and we plan to be for the rest of our lives. You can say all you want, but I can promise you that all that will do is push Nick further from you. You’ve already hurt him so much, but he still allows you into his life, his home. If you push this, you may not even have that much left.” She held Jane’s gaze. “So think long and hard about what you really want. I can promise you, you don’t have that many chances left.”
Jane had no reply at that. She glared at Autumn for several moments before turning to Nick. Whatever she saw in his face and the way he clutched at Autumn’s hand must have made her re-think anything she may have said. Instead, she inclined her head and addressed both of them. “I won’t give you my blessings nor do I have any desire to see the child you wish to pass off as my grandchild. I always wanted the best for you, Nick, and if this woman is what you want, then I’ll have to content myself with that. It’s doubtful, though, that you’ll hear from me often as long as you’re with her. That’s all I have to say.” And she turned on her heel and stalked out.
“It’s more than I wanted to hear,” Nick murmured as he heard the door slam. He winced. “Think that woke Lily up?”
Autumn shook her head and, cupping his face in her hands, studied his face. “Don’t let her get to you. She didn’t upset me. I’m sorry that her words hurt you. Nick.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. “You know what I saw when I looked at her?”
He buried his face against her neck and felt comforted. “A horrible mother?”
“No. I saw a tired woman who’s scrambled all her life for more but doesn’t have anything. She’s so close to losing what she does have, and that’s you and your siblings. I feel sorry for her.”
“Don’t.” His arms tightened around her. “She’s not worth it. If you knew half of what she’s put us all through-”
“I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. She loves you in her own way. It’s pathetic,” she added when he shook his head, “but it’s true. Whatever she is, Nick, she’s your mother.”
Nick let her go then and stepped back with a small smile on his face. “I know, and I have to remind myself of that every time she pulls something like this.” His face was grim as he looked around at the smashed dishes. “We’re a dramatic family, Autumn.”
“And, for the next few months, at least, you’re mine. I can handle it, Nick.” She lifted a brow when he shook his head at her. “Don’t forget, I have a miserable twin, too.”
He sighed and kissed her cheek. “Thanks, Autumn. You didn’t have to defend me or anything-”
“Don’t be stupid. Of course, I did. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
His heart stumbled a little at the sight of her and the way she still managed to smile in spite of everything his mother had said to her. “Yeah, I guess we are.”
“Good. Now.” She walked over to the laundry room and returned with a broom and dustpan. “Why don’t we clean up, and then I’ll make us breakfast. Do you want to go check on Lily?”
“Yeah.” He ran his hand through his tousled hair. “I’ll be back.”
***
When he did come back, half an hour later, he was dressed and carried a freshly-bathed and dressed Lily. Autumn hummed along with the radio as she flipped pancakes on the stove, and Nick had to swallow the saliva that pooled in his mouth at the sight she made, clad in just the short robe that left the majority of her legs bare.
“Autumn.”
“Hmm?” She turned and grinned at the sight of Lily. “Good morning, Lily! Want a pancake?”
“Des!” It was as close to yes as Lily could currently sound out, and it made Autumn smile. “Mama, want a pwesent?”
Autumn’s expression turned curious. “A present?” She glanced over at Nick, who just shrugged. “Okay, Lily. Sure, I’d love a present.”
Lily held out the box she held safely between her and Nick’s chest. “Here, Mama! Love you!”
Frowning, Autumn took the box and brushed her hand absently over Lily’s hair. “What’s this for?”
“Your birthday. I kept forgetting to give it to you with everything that, uh, happened.” He shifted uneasily on his feet. What if she didn’t like it? He’d wracked his brain for ideas, and this was the only one that had come to him. “I, uh, had it made by a really cool Italian designer.”
“Oh.” Autumn unwrapped the box and lifted the lid. Her face was unreadable for long moments as she picked up the bronze chain. Dangling from it were three charms, a pair of rust-colored leaves, a piece of rose quartz shaped into a lily, and a heart charm set between the leaves and the lily. Of the three charms, it was the heart that held her attention. The gem that had been shaped into a heart was a brilliant blue and shone from its innermost depths with various hues of blue when light struck it. “Nick.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. “It’s gorgeous. You didn’t have to-”
“The leaves represent you. You know, Autumn,” he explained hurriedly, still nervous that she would give it back. “And the lily is for Lily. I put the heart between the two to mean the love between the two of you. She’s the most important thing in your life, and I just wanted this necklace to symbolize that.”
Autumn fought to swallow the tears that filled her throat. “Thank you, Nick. Thank you so much.” She held it out to him. “Can you put it on me?”
“Yeah.” But his fingers felt too big and too clumsy when he tried to slide it around her neck and fasten it. When his fingers brushed against her skin, they both stiffened a bit at the heat that seemed to flame from the contact. “There.”
“Thanks.” She brushed her fingers over the chain and its charms and felt the tears burn in her throat still. “I, uh, there’s a huge stack of pancakes on the counter. Do you think you could feed yourself and Lily while I go get dressed?”
Nick frowned at the catch in her voice but nodded. “Sure. Take your time.”
Autumn bolted out of the kitchen and, locking the door to her room, she slid to the floor and let the tears fall. She hadn’t wanted this to happen, she thought desperately. Hadn’t she told herself dozens of times that she wasn’t supposed to have feelings for Nick? Certainly not the kind that reached out of her heart and threatened to strangle her.
Pressing a hand to her heart, she finally admitted to herself that their divorce was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever do.
Author's Notes:
Yay! New chapter! This one's a long one with lots of stuff going on. I think you'll all enjoy it, though. At least, I hope you do!
"Oh, my god. You slept with her!"
Nick dropped the pen he’d been juggling between his fingers. Bending to retrieve it, he hoped his face wouldn’t give anything away. When he straightened, he frowned at Liz. "I don’t know where the hell you got such a crazy idea, but you’re wrong."
She leaned over her desk and stabbed her finger at his chest. "Why are you such a man? Do you have to screw everything with boobs?"
He could feel his face turning red, and he pushed her finger aside roughly. "Don’t talk about her like that. She’s not just some random woman, okay? And, no, I didn’t sleep with her. End of story."
"Oh, jeez. How did I know this was going to happen?" Liz sat back in her chair and studied him. He looked angry, frustrated, and embarrassed. "Does she know you’re in love with her?"
This time Nick nearly tipped the chair over as he got to his feet in one quick move. He towered over her, his eyes staring daggers into her. "Look, Liz. I didn’t come here so that you could poke at me over the most ridiculous stuff. I’m not in love with Autumn, she’s not in love with me. We’re friends at the most. If there was anyone that I’m in love with, it’s Lily. She’s got my heart wrapped around her tiny fingers." He sighed. "So if we could just talk about whatever it is you called me in here for, that would be great. If not, I’ve got places to go and people to see."
Yup, she thought. The man was a goner. She’d known, hadn’t she, that he’d fall face-first in love with Autumn? They were perfect for each other, but, if Liz knew her best friend—and she did—she knew Autumn would never admit to having feelings for Nick, either. The two of them would run in circles, she mused, before they realized that they belonged together.
"Okay." Liz gestured to his chair. "Sit, Nick. I did have something I wanted to talk to you about."
He sat. "What?"
"A bunch of us organized a surprise birthday party for Autumn. We knew she probably wouldn’t celebrate or anything while you guys were on tour, so we thought we’d give her a surprise." Liz paused long enough for Nick to remember the way he and Autumn had celebrated. When his mind drifted, he pulled it back and focused. Now, was not the time. "So, the party is in three days, in New York. We know the Boys will be there for all the promo stuff, so we thought it would be better to have it there. I’ve reserved the Hard Rock for us—you know, more casual and fun?"
"Uh, yeah. Okay. Sounds good to me." Nick shrugged. A party would be good. Maybe it would get that worried look off of Autumn’s face whenever she thought he wasn’t looking. He had yet to pry it out of her, but he’d find out. Sooner or later.
"So, where you come in is in getting her to the restaurant. Think you can handle that?" Liz tapped her pen against her notebook lightly and watched as he thought for a second.
"Yeah. I’ll just tell her that we should get out more and explore a little. She’ll probably hedge a bit, but I’ll figure it out." He nodded. "We’ll just have to find a sitter for Lily because we only had the au pair while we were in Europe."
She thought it was the sweetest thing that he sounded more and more like a father everyday. She no longer wished they were still together because it had become so perfectly obvious who he really belonged with. "Great. I’m sure it shouldn’t be too hard. I can find someone if you want."
"Nah, it’s cool. So, that’s Friday night, then?" Nick pulled out his cell phone to program the date and time into his schedule. "What time?"
"Friday. Get here there by ten. We’ll have everything set up by nine-thirty, so it should be pretty a good surprise." She smiled. "Thanks, Nick. I’m glad you’re willing to help out."
He stood now. "Yeah, sure. No problem. So I’ll see you then?"
"Yeah." And, as she watched him go, she wondered how long it would take him before he came to the realization on his own that he was so completely in love with Autumn.
***
As a result of his meeting with Liz, he was late for the interview he and Autumn had with Entertainment Weekly. Cursing at the obnoxious Los Angeles traffic, he wished that they hadn’t had interviews to take care of on the West coast. He’d been more relaxed in Tampa than he’d been in a long while. It had been nice to have the only people he needed to see be Autumn and Lily.
Suppressing the urge to flip the bird at the guy that cut him off, Nick turned into the parking lot at the offices of the magazine. Inside the main building, he was quickly ushered into the room where Autumn and Lily waited with the interviewer. He didn’t smirk at the fact that, if he wasn’t married to Autumn, he would’ve had to wait awhile before the pert receptionist would’ve even looked at him.
The instant he walked into the lounge, Lily bounced up and ran towards him, attacking his leg. "Daddy! Missed you!"
"Hey, Lily." He boosted her onto his hip and smiled over her head at the reporter who patiently waited. "Sorry I’m late. You know how traffic gets." He held out a hand. "Nick."
"I know." But she smiled anyway. "Ellen Greenberg. And I do know how traffic can be. Have a seat." She gestured to the sofa where Autumn sat, and Nick settled on it, giving her a quick kiss.
Autumn smiled at him and laced their fingers together. "You weren’t that late. Only twenty minutes or so. Lily couldn’t wait for you to get here."
"Well, I’m here now, so why don’t we go ahead and get started?" He flashed another grin at Ellen.
"I’m glad you could fit this interview into your hectic schedules," she began. "How has the promotional tour been going?"
Autumn squeezed Nick’s hand to indicate she’d go first. It was a little system they’d worked out after the first four interviews they’d given as a couple in which they tended to speak at the same time. "It’s been really amazing. Europe was so receptive to the Backstreet Boys, and we all have high hopes for this album."
"From the press reports in Europe, it seems as though the three of you were quite a hit over there as well. In fact, Nick, didn’t your bandmate, Brian, say that your album would hit the top because of the star power behind your marriage?"
Nick shifted Lily so that she could wiggle out of his arms and play with her toys on the floor. "He was just joking with that one, but, yeah, sometimes it feels that way. It’s been overwhelming to say the least. I could tell you that Autumn and I just want to be any other newlywed couple, but…"
"But you’re not," Ellen finished for him. "You’re Nick Carter and Autumn Evans. It’s hard to hide from the attention those names garner. Do you do anything to find a little sense of peace amidst your crazy lives?"
Autumn smiled. "We just spent the better part of a week in Tampa, at Nick’s—well, our home there. It was very relaxing to be out of the limelight for awhile and just be Nick, Autumn, and Lily. I don’t think anything can prepare you ahead of time for the kind of stress all the media attention can cause. But I think I speak for both Nick and I when I say that we are each other’s stress relief."
"Luckily, you two have been able to travel around together for the past few weeks, so it must be easier." Ellen glanced at her notepad briefly. "So, tell me, have you made any sort of contact with Summer in the past few months, Autumn? Or is that relationship dead because of the drama and pain it caused?"
Nick felt her tense and immediately slipped an arm around her shoulder and stroked his hand soothingly up and down her arm. She managed to smile at him before answering the question. "Summer is who she is, and I am who I am. We tried to make peace with each other, but it hasn’t exactly worked. After she and Nick had an unpleasant altercation in a department store in March, I gave up trying. I think she’ll always try to make my life a little more difficult, but I’m going to try not to let it bother me. What good would it do? I like my life the way it is, and I’m going to do my best to keep it as simple and easy as possible."
"That’s very mature of you," Ellen commented.
"We’re all adults, Ellen. There’s no point in being petty and childish and taking potshots at each other. End of story." And, with her soft voice, Autumn closed the subject.
Ellen nodded. "All right. So, how about your future as a family? Where do you two see yourselves in a few years?"
"Hopefully still together," Nick replied with a smile. "Success in our careers will always be a goal, but I think it wouldn’t mean much if we weren’t together to support each other in our victories and, obviously, failures." It didn’t occur to him that he actually meant every word he said, and that Autumn sensed that.
She laid her other hand over his. "That’s exactly how I feel. I think our priorities for now and the future are each other, Lily, and then, after that, our careers. Without family, really what would we have?"
"And speaking of family," Ellen leaned forward, "are there any plans on expanding it? Maybe giving Lily a sibling or two?"
Lily perked to attention at the sound of her name, and she sat and looked from Ellen to her parents and back as though she, too, were waiting for the answer.
Neither Autumn nor Nick had a single thing to say to that for a few moments. Finally, finding his voice, Nick managed to answer easily. "Right now, our focus is the family we have right now. We’re just figuring out how to balance everything and stay sane. When the time’s right, we’ll add to it." He didn’t say how appealing it suddenly sounded to have a child with Autumn. The thought scared the living daylights out of him.
"There’s nothing I want more than a houseful of children," Autumn began. "But, Nick’s right. Right now, it’s hard enough handling the busy lives we run and taking care of Lily. We want to be sure that we could devote all of our time to our family before we have another child."
Ellen nodded, obviously pleased with the answer. "That sounds like a good plan. Too many couples in Hollywood end up having children and getting divorced because the pressure become too much and cracks their marriage. The two of you are a refreshing change."
"Thanks," they replied simultaneously and wished desperately for the interview to end.
***
Nick whistled cheerfully as he unlocked the front door and stepped into the cool quiet of the house. He imagined that Lily was down for a nap because it was just that time of the afternoon. Half thinking about grabbing something to munch on, he started towards the kitchen.
He was bursting to tell Autumn about how adorable and tiny Kevin and Kristin’s newborn son, Mason, was. The baby had been born early that morning, and Nick had rushed over as soon as he could to see the happy family. Kevin had been beaming with pride and joy as he held his son. Mason had seemed so tiny and fragile in his arms, and, when Kevin had offered to let Nick hold the baby, Nick had refused. What if he’d dropped the baby, broken him or something?
Kevin had laughed and said Nick wouldn’t feel that way when his own were born. It had felt as though he’d been hinting at something, but Nick hadn’t had the heart to outright lie to Kevin about his fake marriage. So he’d just shrugged and said, "We’ll see."
Nick began to walk past the family room when he heard a voice he hadn’t expected to hear again, unless it was from behind bars. Frozen in place, he stood in the doorway and watched Summer’s face on the television screen. Autumn blocked his view a bit as she stood in front of the television, but he didn’t say anything. Couldn’t.
"Time’s coming up, sister dearest. You’d better start watching over your shoulder and keeping an eye on your family. The other notes and pictures I’ve been sending you, they were nothing. This is the big, red-letter warning. I’m watching you, and, when you least expect it, I’ll destroy your life. Just like that." She snapped her fingers and laughed. The screen went blank five seconds later.
Autumn just stood, staring, at the screen. She felt so numb and cold. So cold inside.
"What the hell was that?"
She spun around and found Nick, fists clenched, in the doorway. His face was furious as he stepped into the room, the look in his eyes murderous as he strode towards her. His hands weren’t gentle when they took hold of her shoulders and shook her. "Nick." His name was a terrified whisper on her lips.
"Is this what you’ve been hiding from me for weeks, Autumn? Summer’s been fucking threatening you, and you did nothing? You just hid it from me and everyone else? Was that your way of protecting us, or are you just too selfish to share anything?" Every question was punctuated with the tightening of his fingers on her shoulders until she was sure she would bruise.
Autumn pushed him away and glared at him. "So what if I didn’t tell you? It’s nothing you have to worry about! I have it under control."
"Under control?" He was shouting now and couldn’t stop himself. "Worrying and losing sleep over it is the way you control the situation? Don’t tell me you haven’t been sleeping," he warned her when she opened her mouth in protest. "Just because we don’t sleep in the same room doesn’t mean I don’t know that you’re not sleeping well. Damn it, Autumn!" He spun away to pace angrily. "We’re supposed to be a team, and you’ve kept me out of the game this whole time. Well, too bad. I just dealt myself in."
She tried to find her anger and couldn’t. She was just tired of the whole thing—tired and oh so scared of what would happen. If Summer would make good on her threats. "What are you going to do that hasn’t already been done?"
"You’re going to hand over everything she sent you, and I’m taking it to the cops. We’re getting a restraining order out on her."
"No! Nick, no." She swallowed hard at the temper on his face. "Look, I don’t want the whole world to know what’s going on. If we take it to the police, the press will be all over us. I don’t want to give Summer anymore airtime than she’s already received."
Nick tried hard to find calm when all he wanted to do was tear the city apart, find Summer, and strangle her himself. "Fine. We’ll just expand security." He took a deep breath and decided he was still entirely too angry to be around Autumn at the moment. "I’m going to go call management and figure something out."
When he stalked out of the room, Autumn sighed and sank onto the couch. Her life had just gotten fifty times more complicated, and all she wanted to do was take her daughter and run.
***
3:00 AM.
Autumn didn’t need a psychiatrist to tell her that she couldn’t sleep because of anxiety. Of course, she was anxious. She was also distressed, worried, and afraid of who could be skulking around outside the house, just waiting to find a way in to hurt her or her family.
Nick had been right, she admitted. Pressing her face into her pillow to suppress a scream, she took deep breaths to calm her racing heart. He’d been absolutely right. She should’ve told him and security the instant that first threat had shown up in the mail. If she had, Summer might not have gotten this far.
She hated admitting she’d been wrong.
She turned over onto her back and stared up at the darkened ceiling. Nick hadn’t said a single word to her since he’d walked out of the family room that afternoon. For Lily’s sake, she’d been cheerful at dinner, but neither of them spoke a word to the other. He was so angry with her, and she knew he had the right to be mad.
Autumn knew she’d have to apologize first. There was no way around it. She couldn’t handle the whole Summer situation if he was angry with her, too. She’d come to rely on the support he offered her, which often surprised and confused her at the same time.
Knowing she wouldn’t be able to sleep, she slid out of bed and, pulling on a robe over her tank top and pajama pants, she padded out of the room. She didn’t know she was going to go to Nick’s room until she stood in front of his door with her hand on the doorknob.
He was probably sleeping, she told herself. Besides, the apology could wait until morning. She’d be dead of anxiety by morning, part of her argued. She needed to spill out all the fears she had to someone, even if it was Nick. Especially if it was Nick.
She pushed open the door quietly and peeked in. The light from the hallway slanted into his room and across his bed. His tidily made up bed. Autumn stepped into the room and frowned. Where was he?
Then, she heard the click of a lighter and headed towards the door to his balcony. She found him, leaning against the railing, flicking his lighter on and off absently as he studied the city glowing below them.
"Nick?"
He jolted and turned to find her framed in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"
"I—I couldn’t sleep. You?"
"Same." He turned away from her and looked back at the city. It hurt to look at her and know she didn’t trust him with what was important to her. It hurt more than he’d expected it to hurt.
Autumn stepped onto the balcony and laid her hand on his back. She could feel the way his muscles were tensed and knew he was still upset. "Nick, I know you’re still angry with me. Please, can we—can we talk?"
Oh, now she wanted to talk. Nick suppressed the flare of temper. Sure, why the hell not, he thought. It wasn’t as though he was doing much. "Fine." He looked down at her and noted that she shivered despite her robe. "Let’s go in. It might be summer, but it’s still kinda cold at night. Can’t have you getting sick, can we?" There had been a bite of anger in his words, and he saw her wince before looking away. Sighing, he reached out and took her hand. "I’m sorry. I guess I am still angry." He led her back into his room and flicked on the bedside lamp, so its glow bathed the room in soft light.
Autumn sat, cross-legged, on the bed as he settled onto it in the same way. She wondered where to begin. "I just wanted to say I’m sorry."
"What?"
She sighed a little. "I know what I did was stupid. Keeping it to myself was a dumb thing to do, but I didn’t want to make anyone worry. Everyone was so happy with the way things were going on tour and with our publicity that I just didn’t want to toss the wrench into the works."
"Don’t take the blame for the threats, Autumn." His voice was quiet as his hand rested on hers. "Summer’s the one to blame. Not you."
"I should’ve told you," she replied. "I wanted to. There were a dozen times that I wanted to tell you, but then I thought of how relaxed you were. For the first time since January, you were having fun, and I didn’t want to wreck that. You took the time and effort to help me fix my image when you didn’t have to. I just didn’t want to bother you with it anymore."
He tried not to be annoyed. "You know, I figured you were pretty smart, but that’s one of the dumbest things you’ve ever said. I don’t care how fake our marriage is, I meant it when I said I’d take care of you and Lily. We’re a team for the next six months, and that means trusting each other." He pressed his fingers to his eyes. "You hurt me."
"Oh, Nick." His hands were in hers. "I didn’t mean to. I just—I thought I was doing what was best."
"No, you don’t get it, do you? I care about you, Autumn." He watched her eyes flicker with surprise and pleasure before the sorrow returned. "You’re a friend. You’ve become one of my closest friends, and I’d hoped I could be the same for you. If you had a problem, I thought you’d come to me just like I’d go to you when I needed help. You saw my mother, you helped me deal with her. How could I not want to return the favor by helping you with your sister?"
She didn’t know what to say. "I wish I had come to you. I’ve come to rely on you for a lot, Nick. I didn’t know I could hurt you, and I’m sorry I did." There was a hot ball of emotion rising fast in her throat. "I’m so sorry."
When her voice wavered and cracked, he looked up at her face. The first of the tears were slipping down her cheeks as she tried to swipe them away. "Oh, Autumn. Come on, don’t cry. Please don’t cry."
Autumn pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears. "I know. I can’t help it. I feel like I’ve been trying to hold everything together, and it’s just been too much. Oh god, Nick." The first sob ripped through her, and she buried her face in her hands. She didn’t notice when Nick scooped her up and held her close. Her tears transferred onto his t-shirt and soaked through.
He didn’t know how to offer comfort but knew that there weren’t any words that would help. So he held her, giving her someone to hold onto. When her shuddering sobs slowed and she rested her head against his chest, her arms curled around him, he stroked his hand soothingly over her back. "Feel better?"
"A little. Yeah." She sighed. "I’m just so tired of being scared and worried. Combined with constantly keeping up a façade for everyone is just exhausting." She tilted her head back to give him a teary smile. "Thanks for just being there. I needed it." Her head returned to where it’d rested. "I guess I need you."
The words blew through him and filled him with the sweetest sensation. "I guess I need you, too." His lips brushed softly over her hair. "You should sleep."
"Can’t. I keep imagining that I hear someone creeping around outside, ready to break in." Her fingers clutched at his shirt. "I just don’t want to be alone, Nick. Not tonight."
"Okay." Nick leaned back against his pillows, Autumn still in his arms. "Hey, want me to sing you a song? Rumor has it, I’m kind of a big deal as a singer. So pick a song, any song, and I can sing it."
She chuckled a little. "Sure. Can you do Safest Place to Hide?"
He was surprised at her choice. "I thought you didn’t know any of the songs I’ve sung."
Autumn lifted her head and studied him. "Nick, you’ve seen my one movie, and you watched the filming of my other one. I just thought it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t listen to your music. Besides, what if I was asked which one your songs I liked the most in an interview?"
"You have a point. So, did you like any of our stuff?"
"Of course." She kissed his cheek and settled back. "So, are you singing or what?"
Nick held her a little closer and let himself absorb the pleasure her words had given him. Then, he began to sing softly.
It seems like yesterday when I said 'I do'
And after all this time my heart still burns for you
If you don’t know by now that you’re my only one
Then take a look inside me and watch my heart strings come undone
I know I promised you forever
Is there no stronger word I can use?
To reassure you when the storm is raging outside
You’re my safest place to hide
Can you see me? Here I am
I need you like I needed you then
When I feel like giving up
I climb inside your heart and still find
You’re my safest place to hide
You see colors no one else can see
In every breath you hear a symphony
You understand me like nobody can
I feel my soul unfolding like a flower blooming
When this whole world gets too crazy, yeah
And there’s nowhere left to run
I know you give me sanctuary
You’re the only truth I know, you’re the road back home
I know I promised you forever
There’s no stronger word I can use
To reassure you when the storm is raging outside
You’re my safest place to hide
He felt her breathing even out as she fell asleep. Lying there with her in his arms, he finally admitted to himself what he’d spent weeks denying. He was in love with her.
Can you see me? Here I am
Standing here, where I’ve always been
And when words are not enough
I climb inside your heart and still find
You’re my safest place to hide
Lyrics from "Safest Place to Hide" Backstreet Boys
Author's Notes:
I know it's taking me a while to update this story, but I'm trying! Between work and school and trying to update five stories at a time, it's pretty hard to keep up any sort of momentum. But, I managed to write the next chapter. For those of you who enjoyed the end of the last chapter, this one will be...interesting. I hope you like it, and, as always, your comments are always MUCH appreciated! Enjoy!
The alarm buzzed nearly an hour and a half later. Nick groaned at the sound and, reaching out a hand, smacked it off. There was no way he was going to get through the day on ninety minutes of sleep, but there was a flight to catch in a couple hours. Sleep was out of the question.
When his eyes blinked open and his brain engaged a little more, he realized he wasn’t alone in bed. Remembering the last time this had happened, he sighed in relief to note that, this time, he was fully clothed. And Autumn was sleeping like a rock, curled into his side, his arm draped over her waist.
"Autumn." He tapped her shoulder, then, not having budged her a bit, he shook her shoulder. "Come on, Autumn. We have to be at LAX soon. Gotta get Lily up and dressed, too."
"Mrrfle grmbfle," she muttered and burrowed into his side, her face buried in the pillow.
Grinning now at the amusement he felt at the moment, he felt the light bulb go off in his mind. Within seconds, Autumn was out of bed and glaring at him.
"That wasn’t funny." Her hands on her hips, her curls tousled around her face, she looked like a mess.
But a very cute mess, Nick thought as he climbed out of bed. "I thought it was pretty hysterical, actually. Tickling always worked for Howie and Brian, too. Good to know I’ve still got the magic touch." He wiggled his fingers, grinning at Autumn over them.
"Well, ha the freaking ha. It wasn’t funny." She rubbed her hands over her hair. "God, I must look awful." She glanced over at the clock and sighed. "It’s my turn to get Lily dressed, right?"
Nick thought for a moment then nodded. "Yep. I’ll get our bags in the car. You should probably go hop in the shower or something."
"Or something." She was already halfway to the door. Stopping in the doorway, she glanced over her shoulder at him. "Nick?"
He paused in the act of tugging his shirt off. "Yeah?"
"Thanks for listening and understanding."
"No problem. We’re good now, right?"
"Yeah." She smiled. "We’re pretty good."
He returned the smile. "Cool. Well, we get to meet our new bodyguard today. Now, Lily’s got her own. Who knew a two year old needed one?"
"She’ll be safe now?"
"Definitely."
"Okay." Autumn sighed. "I guess I’d better go get her up and ready to go. See you downstairs."
Nick watched her go and wondered, with Autumn protecting everyone else, who was protecting her. If he had any say in the matter, he’d make damn sure she was safe. Even if he had to do it himself.
***
The traffic in New York City was vicious. From the instant they landed early that afternoon, they were caught in the steady stream of stop and go traffic that clogged the roads in every part of the city. The Boys were late to nearly every radio station and magazine interview scheduled for that afternoon, and the radio station DJs weren’t exactly kind to them…until Autumn would walk into the room.
Nick couldn’t help but laugh at the way a DJ would go from being snarky and downright rude to tongue-tied and overly enthusiastic once Autumn popped into the studio. Nick knew she was a beautiful person, even going on barely any sleep, and he totally understood the awe and admiration that people spouted whenever they were around her. But he also had come to know that Autumn wasn’t always comfortable with that admiration, and she knew that she wasn’t the reason that they were doing these interviews. So, she would consistently steer the topic of conversation away from herself and right back to the Boys.
"I think Brian’s definitely had quite a few successes since the last album came out," she told one DJ when he tried to ask about her upcoming projects. "Why don’t we ask him how that’s been going?" And the DJ was forced to acknowledge Brian’s presence and allow him to speak.
"Did you see his face?" AJ chuckled gleefully when they were all back in the van, on their way to the final interview of the day. "God, I thought he’d seen an angel or something the way he stared at you. Not that you’re not a hell of a woman," he added to Autumn, "but still."
"They were going to cut that interview short by half," Howie told them as he snapped his cell phone shut. "That was management. They talked to the station, who was pretty pissed by the way that we showed up late. It’s like they’re doing us a favor by letting us drop by or something."
Brian slid an arm around Autumn’s shoulder and grinned at her. "Until Autumn here walks in the door. Then it’s like we did them a favor. I’m glad we brought you," he told her.
She kissed his cheek. "You’re too nice. I just made sure they remembered who it was they were supposed to be interviewing. It sure as hell isn’t my interview."
"I liked how they asked about Lily," Nick said, his eyes on the stalled traffic around them. "It was cute. Plus, we had a story to tell about her and the time she babbled along to I Want It That Way."
"She’s a true blue Backstreet baby now," Brian replied cheerfully.
"Yeah, just as long as she doesn’t streak across the stage at a concert." AJ slipped his sunglasses off and toyed with them absently. "We don’t need another one of those happening, do we, Bri?"
"Shut up."
Nick looked back at Brian, who sat on the other side of Autumn from Nick. "So, how’s the baby making going? I bet you’re having a lot of fun on that special project, huh?" He winked, even as Brian’s ears then his face slowly started to turn red.
"It’s going fine. Leighanne went to her doctor to talk to her about how safe it’ll be this time around, since she’s older, and whether or not we’ll need any, uh, help in conceiving." Brian twisted his wedding ring round and round on his finger. "I guess I didn’t really think about how much more work we’d have to put into trying to get pregnant this time around. Makes me see that Leighanne had good reasons for not wanting to try for another."
Howie turned around in his seat to face him. "Yeah, Leigh and I are wondering about how much trouble we might have when we decide to try for a family."
"Having a kid with Leigh? Without getting married?" AJ’s brows lifted. "Wonder how that’ll go over with your family, D."
Howie looked uncomfortable for a moment, his brow furrowed. Then, he sighed. "I didn’t bring this up before, but, uh, I asked Leigh to marry me back in December. She said yes, and we’re getting married this December."
The van exploded into yelps of surprise, congratulations, and, finally, indignant demands as to why Howie had held out on telling them for seven long months.
"Gee, Howie. I’m really hurt that you didn’t think it was necessary to tell us such huge news." Brian folded his arms over his chest and frowned. "Aren’t we important people in your life?"
Howie tried not to squirm. "Well, yeah, but, at the time, there was so much going on that Leigh and I decided to just wait for a bit."
"Yeah, but seven months?" AJ shook his head. "That’s a hell of a long time, man."
Howie looked sheepish and glanced at Autumn and Nick. "Well, there’s just been all that commotion with Autumn and Nick, and I just didn’t want our announcement to get lost in all the hustle and bustle."
Even as the guys frowned over this, Autumn understood and leaned forward to kiss Howie’s cheek. "It’s big news, important news, and you were right. You and Leigh shouldn’t be overshadowed by everything else. I’m happy for both of you. Do I get to come to the wedding?"
"Well, of course," Howie replied immediately, his smile huge. "Thanks, Autumn."
"Hey, you deserve to bask in the moment. Besides, you only get engaged once."
"Not according to AJ," Brian cracked. "He’s come close to being engaged three times."
"But I haven’t been engaged three times, have I?" AJ shot back. "Officially, it was only once."
Nick rolled his eyes. "Right, but if you’re planning on getting married at some point, you’d have to do it again."
"Or I’d just go ahead and have Elvis marry us right off the bat." AJ grinned even as Autumn blushed.
Nick pulled her close. "Don’t knock it, AJ. We had fun doing it. Besides, who’s got the girl? Huh? Huh?"
He managed to duck the hand AJ swatted at his head, but they were all laughing.
***
When they finally made it back to the hotel, Autumn and Nick found Lily happily playing with the new bodyguard, Derek, and the babysitter Autumn had hired for a few hours.
"Well, it looks like Derek might look mean, but he’s a big marshmallow," Nick murmured in Autumn’s ear as they stood in the doorway, watching the trio. Lily was, as usual, a hit, and it made Nick beam with pride at how amazing she was.
Then, Lily spotted them over Derek’s shoulder and, with a squeal, she ran towards them. Nick caught her and swung her around, making her gurgle with laughter. "Hi, Daddy, hi! Derek an’ Kwisty play! Fun!" She smacked a kiss on his cheek and laid her head on his shoulder. "Wanna play?"
"Sure, baby." Nick grinned at Derek and Kristy, the babysitter. "How was she?"
Kristy smiled as she grabbed her things. "She was fantastic! I’ve never met a two year old who wasn’t going through the terrible two’s, but Lily’s pretty awesome."
"Thank you." Autumn beamed as she dug out several bills from her bag. "I’m glad you could take this job on such short notice."
"It’s not a problem. I wouldn’t mind watching her again—if you ever need another babysitter while you’re in New York, of course." Kristy’s eyes met Nick’s, and he winked, lifting one finger to his lips.
Autumn shook her hand. "I will definitely get in touch with you because it’s pretty likely we’ll be back again. Thanks again, and have a good weekend."
"Yeah, you, too!" Kristy headed for the door, knowing she’d be back that night because Nick had hired her to babysit while he took Autumn to the Hard Rock for her surprise party. "Bye, Lily!"
"Bye bye, Kwisty." Lily waved her hand before turning and holding her arms out to Derek. "Let’s play, Derek."
Derek grinned before catching himself and giving Autumn and Nick a solemn look. "Okay."
"It’s cool, man. We won’t tell anyone you’re a big softie," Nick teased as Derek carried Lily back to where her toys were scattered.
"Like anybody would believe you?" Derek snorted. "I’ve got a rep, buddy."
Autumn just shook her head, yawning. "I’m glad we don’t have anymore plans for today. I need to go to bed so badly." Stretching her arms a little, she headed towards the bedroom, Nick trailing her.
"Listen, uh, Autumn. I was thinking," he began as she kicked off her shoes and sprawled on the giant bed.
Flopping onto her back, she grinned. "Wow, Nick. Did it hurt?"
"Shut up." He collapsed on the bed next to her, pleased when she moved, so her head could rest on his shoulder. "We should go out for dinner or something tonight. You know we won’t have any other night free while we’re in town. It’ll be good to get out and away for a little while."
"Nick."
"And, look, we’ve got Derek now, too," he added quickly. "Lily will be perfectly safe, so we could go out and not worry about Summer or anything. It’ll just be you and me and some great food. Please?"
Autumn sighed. She really was exhausted, but Nick had a point. She could use the night out and about, and it would be pretty great to eat food that didn’t come from the room service menus. "Okay," she relented finally. "When?"
"How about," he tilted his hand to read his watch, "be ready by nine-thirty or so? That gives us a couple hours to take a nap, too. Maybe Derek could feed Lily dinner tonight."
"Nick. We didn’t get another bodyguard so that he could play babysitter," she reminded him, but the idea did sound appealing at the moment.
Nick rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe just this once, he could do it. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I can move from this spot until I can get some sleep."
"Yeah, me neither." She could feel her eyelids getting heavier even as she lay there and summoned up the strength to get up. "I’ll go tell Derek."
"Okay."
When she came back, he was already asleep. His feet, with shoes still on them, hung off the bed, and his arm was his current pillow. He looked utterly peaceful lying there, already deep in sleep, and Autumn couldn’t help herself from brushing her fingers through his hair.
Changing into a pair of Nick’s basketball shorts and a T-shirt, she crawled onto the bed and, her head nestled on his shoulder, followed him into sleep.
***
By the time Nick managed to drag Autumn away from giving Derek a super list of everything Lily could possibly need, it was already quarter to ten. He knew Liz would be annoyed that he was going to get Autumn to her surprise party later than expected, but, hey, at least he was getting her there, right? That was his reasoning in any case.
"She’ll be fine. Derek’s got three kids of his own," Nick reminded Autumn as she worried about in the car.
"I know, but what if she doesn’t fall asleep on time because Derek’s a new person to her? She’ll be so cranky by the time we get home if that happens, and I always feel so bad when she gets cranky. She cries all the time."
Nick reached over and linked their fingers. "You’re preaching to the choir. I’ve seen Lily at her worst times, and you’re right. I think, though, that she’ll be just fine tonight."
"Yeah." Autumn sighed. "Yeah, she usually is." Settling back in the seat, she watched the lights of the city rush by and tried to relax.
When their chauffeur pulled the car to the curb in front of the Hard Rock Café, Autumn blinked in surprise. "The Hard Rock?"
"Yeah." Nick tugged her out. "I thought it was more casual, since neither of us is dressed up much." He gestured to their outfit choices. She was wearing a floral print, knee-length skirt with a black top, and he was clad in dark jeans and white shirt.
"Good idea," she agreed after a moment. "I probably wouldn’t have gone out if I’d had to dress up."
Nick tucked her arm through his and headed for the door. They were only fifteen minutes late, and he hoped everyone was ready for their entrance. When they entered the restaurant, it was uncharacteristically quiet and dark, and Autumn frowned.
"Nick, what’s going on? Are you sure they’re open?"
"They’re always open," he muttered as he led her towards the main room of the restaurant. "I’m sure there’ll be a waiter right up here."
Autumn shrugged, not really thinking so, but she went with him. After all, he had her arm in a nearly vise grip.
"SURPRISE!" The lights turned on, and confetti sprinkled onto Nick and Autumn. Autumn’s jaw dropped as she saw her friends, the other Boys, and various others she’d met over the past few years. "Happy Belated Birthday!"
"Oh, wow." She looked up into Nick’s beaming face. "You knew?"
"Well, yeah." He kissed the tip of her nose. "How else would I have gotten you here?"
Liz hurried up and crushed Autumn into a hug. "You should’ve seen the look on your face! Priceless." She waved her camera. "And I caught it. Thanks for getting her here, Nick."
"No problem."
"Okay, Autumn, let’s get you some champagne and mingle with everyone." Liz tugged her into the crowd, and Autumn decided it was the perfect time to let herself fully relax.
Nick watched her disappear into the cluster of people and grinned. She’d definitely been surprised. Liz had been right about the look on her face. He wondered if it would be the same if, or when, he ever told her that he was in love with her. He’d almost told her earlier that day when they lay in the hotel bed, but he hadn’t. It was hard, he realized, not to just blurt it out. Scary as hell it might be, but he knew he’d end up having to tell her before the night was over. He couldn’t hold it in, and, he realized, he didn’t want to. He just wanted her to know, so that he could find out how she felt.
"The night’s not over yet," he murmured. "And you’ve got another surprise coming, Autumn."
***
"Wow, Nick, wow. That’s the coolest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time." Autumn bounced on the backseat of the car. She’d had just enough champagne that her head was swimming with it. She didn’t mind because the event had called for her to get tipsy. "And you!" She nearly fell off the seat in an attempt to hug him. "You helped out and were so good at coming up with an excuse to get me out. You’re so sweet, Nick."
Nick held her closer and grinned into her alcohol-blurred eyes. "Baby, you’re toasted."
"Nuh-uh." She bit her lip sheepishly. "Okay, maybe a little. But, still. It was fun!" She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome."
Autumn snuggled into his arms and sighed happily. "You’re just the best husband a girl could ask for, you know. I didn’t think it would turn out this well, but you’re so good at surprises." She turned her head enough for her lips to brush his jaw. She didn’t notice when his heart started to beat more quickly beneath her head. "Mmm. I had the best time tonight! We should do this more often."
Nick tried not to let the way her lips were moving across his face affect him. "Sure. We’ll go out whenever you want to. I’m glad you had so much fun. You know," he began, but her lips effectively silenced him.
All the blood rushed to his head and made it spin as her lips devoured his. Her fingers ran through his hair as she plastered herself against him. Nick didn’t try to fight it, not that he thought he could even if he’d tried. His hands gripped her hips before slipping beneath her shirt to stroke the silky smooth skin of her back.
They broke apart when the car pulled up outside the hotel, and the blinding flashes from the paparazzi’s cameras filled the car.
"Listen, Autumn," he started to say, but she shook her head.
"That wasn’t a fluke, Nick, and I’m not that drunk." She straightened her shirt and, slipping her hand into his, pushed open the door and plunged into the fray of reporters.
By the time they made it to the elevator, they were both suffering from the usual headache the flashbulbs gave them. Nick leaned his head against the elevator wall and studied Autumn. She stood quietly, her face serene, as she watched the elevator’s progress on the numbers that lit up above the door.
Now or never, he told himself and straightened. "Autumn, there’s something I need to tell you."
"Nick. Look, you don’t have to apologize for kissing me because I kissed you first. I know." She shook her head. "Don’t let this inflate your ego or anything, but you’re a pretty phenomenal kisser. I have to admit I’ve sort of enjoyed that aspect of our marriage, but that doesn’t mean that the kissing means anything. It’s just chemistry."
When the elevator doors opened, Nick followed her off and tried not to be annoyed at how casual she was acting about everything. "No, see, it’s not just chemistry. At least, not for me."
"What are you talking about, Nick?" Autumn pushed open the door of the suite and stepped in. Dropping her purse on the table in the entrance, she turned to face him.
"I mean that this thing between us, it’s not just a fake marriage to me anymore." He blew out a breath. "The thing is…The thing is that it’s become a lot more. A hell of a lot more."
Autumn stared at him for a moment before she shook her head. "No. No, it hasn’t." She turned away from him and walked into the parlor.
Nick followed her as his anger grew. Here he was, trying to bare his heart to her, and she was walking away from him? No way he was letting that happen. "I know you don’t want to believe that something real could come out of this marriage—"
"No, Nickolas, nothing real can come from this." She fisted her hands on her hips and frowned. "You can’t let the illusion fool you. You and me, we’re just friends. That’s all we can be."
"Why? Why the hell can’t we be more?"
"Because I don’t want it." She held his furious gaze. "Because it won’t be real or true."
He wanted to shake her but knew that he couldn’t touch her. Not now. "If you think, for one second, that you don’t want what’s between us, then you’re not just lying to me; you’re lying to yourself, too. And don’t you try to tell me what my feelings are. You don’t know what’s inside me. I do. And I know that whatever’s inside me for you is real. It’s as real as it gets for me, and you’re going to have to deal with it."
"Not if I can help it." She glared at him, even though her heart was doing a jittery dance in her chest. "Why do you want to complicate everything? If we just stay friends, we can get through the next six months and come out friends after the divorce."
Nick shook his head. "No. I don’t want to stay just friends. And our divorce? It ain’t happening. Not as long as I can help it."
"What?" All the color drained from her face. "What do you mean, the divorce isn’t happening?"
"Exactly what I said. We’re not getting a divorce."
"And why the hell not?"
Nick met the anger in her flashing green eyes with a growing sense of cool calm. "Because I’m in love with you, Autumn. Because I’m so ridiculously in love with you, I don’t think I could stand to let you go. So, what are you going to do about that?"
She stared at him, her eyes the only color in her pale face. Moments passed, and Nick’s nerves began to scream. After what seemed like an eternity to him, she spoke. "I need to check on Lily." And, so saying, she walked away.
Nick stood, shocked, in the middle of the parlor. What the hell had just happened? He’d finally told her how he felt about her, and she’d been more concerned about their sleeping child? How could this be happening? he wondered. For the first time, he was completely honest about his feelings for a woman—the woman—and she’d dismissed them. Was he just supposed to let her walk away?
Hell, no.
Furious, and hurting, he started to head towards the second bedroom that Lily slept in. When he heard Autumn scream, he ran, his heart in his throat. He found her swaying, her face dead-white, next to Lily’s crib. Lily’s very empty crib.
Derek lay, unconscious, on the floor behind the crib.
"She’s gone. Oh, god, oh, god." Autumn wrapped her arms around herself and rocked, fear and grief echoing in her voice. "Oh, my god, Nick. I don’t know what to do. She’s gone, my baby’s gone, and I don’t know what to do now."
When she crumpled to the floor, hysterically sobbing, he gathered her up, his own heart shattering, and held her as he grabbed the telephone and called the police.
Author's Notes:
Ta-da! Here's the next chapter, hot off the presses! I've made a vow to myself that, in November, even with all the papers I have to write for school, I will work only on this story and no others! I know we're all eager to find out what happens to Nick and Autumn, and whether or not Lily comes home safely. So, hopefully, I'll make lots of progress on this story! Anyway, enjoy!
The bottle of water in his hand shook as he poured, splashing liquid outside the cup, as his hand was far from steady. He set the bottle down and carried the cup over to where Autumn sat on the couch across from two detectives from the NYPD. There was a forensics team combing over the entire suite from top to bottom in search of any evidence that would lead to a suspect.
But Nick knew there was no need to search for the suspect’s identity. It was obvious it was Summer, and the cops were just going to have to believe it.
Sitting next to Autumn, he wrapped her hands around the cup. “Drink some,” he murmured.
She stared blindly into the water and could only think of Lily. Where was her daughter? Was she crying or scared? What was Summer doing to her? She shook her head. “I don’t want it.” But the look on Nick’s face had her taking a tiny sip.
He slid an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. It had taken nearly an hour for her to stop shaking, and she still felt and looked as though she would fall apart. Nick wasn’t doing too well himself, but he knew he needed to hold it together for both of them. Since they’d found Lily’s empty crib almost three hours earlier, the police had arrived, Derek had been taken to the hospital, and the investigation had begun.
Brian, Howie, and AJ had all stopped by the suite, trying to help, but Nick had sent them all back to their rooms. As much as he appreciated their concern, he knew it would be hard for him to keep his cool when just having them around would provide an excuse for him to break down, too. Nope, he was going to be strong enough for both himself and Autumn.
But he was scared to death of what could be happening to Lily while he sat uselessly on the couch.
“Mr. and Mrs. Carter, I can assure you that everything is being done to find out the whereabouts of your daughter and the kidnapper,” one of the detectives told them now.
Autumn shook her head, not bothering to correct what he called her. “I’ve told you so many times. My twin took Lily. She’s been threatening us for weeks, and she must have found the perfect opportunity to strike.”
“Mrs. Carter, we know that’s what you believe, and we’re inclined to believe you, too. The problem is, we don’t have any proof of the threats that you’re telling us about,” the other detective explained calmly. “Until we do, we can’t take any steps to look for Summer Evans.”
Autumn wanted to kick herself. She should’ve kept every single threat Summer had ever sent her, but she hadn’t. She’d tossed out all of them. “I’m sorry. I wish I had kept them. I just panicked and got rid of them every time one would come.”
“If it really was your twin, we’ll find out soon enough through other means.” The female cop, who’d identified herself as Lucy Bates, reached out to pat Autumn’s hand. “You just need to stay calm and try to remember anything else that could possibly help us find your daughter.”
Her partner, a Detective Black, answered his cell when it rang, his eyes cool and steady as he jotted information down. When he hung up, his smile was grim. “We may have proof that it was your sister that took your daughter.”
Nick’s heart leapt to his throat. “What is it?”
“The babysitter you hired, Kristy Sampson, was questioned. She claimed that Autumn had returned to the suite, paid her, and told her that she was going to take Lily back to the party that you were attending when your daughter was kidnapped.” Black glanced at his notes again. “She said that she left Lily with you and the bodyguard. The woman described matches your exact description. Except for the clothing.”
“That’s because Kristy didn’t know what Autumn was wearing to the party. I bet she would’ve noticed if she’d been here when we left and had seen the change in outfits,” Nick pointed out.
Black nodded. “That may be, but we need a statement from your bodyguard once he wakes up. If that corroborates with Miss Sampson’s description, then we can put out an APB for Summer Evans. I know it’s difficult to wait and wonder,” he said more gently, “but that’s really all we can do at this point.”
“Maybe it would help if we knew why your twin would do such a thing. There was a big press whirlwind around the two of you earlier this year, right?” Bates asked, taking out her own notepad.
Autumn nodded. “Yes. I guess it all sort of leads back to that. She wanted to see me pay for something that I had no control over, and, when it backfired, she resorted to threatening me.”
“Her plan backfired because of your statements to the press or was it because of your wedding?”
Nick soothingly rubbed Autumn’s stiff back as he answered. “Our wedding took away from all the hype that she created over the scandalous news she thought she could get away with making up. Plus, Autumn is known in the press as being a good actress and good person overall, so her story cancelled out Summer’s.” He paused and looked down at Autumn. “I have evidence of her threats.”
“What?” Autumn gaped at him. “How? Why didn’t you say so before?”
“Because I just remembered. The message that I saw, the last one, she recorded it on a DVD and sent it to us,” Nick explained to the detectives. “After that argument we had, Autumn, I saw it sitting on top of the DVD player later on and put it away in a drawer in my study. I guess I forgot about it until now.”
Autumn clutched at his hand as she faced the detectives, her eyes full of hope. “If we can get you that DVD, you can use it as evidence, can’t you? You won’t even have to wait for Derek to regain consciousness before you start the search for her.”
“Mrs. Carter, it’s not that simple. Besides, it may take a while for us to get the DVD from your home, which is three thousand miles away,” Black reminded her. “We’ll try our best, though. If we got in touch with the LAPD, would you mind allowing them access to your home in order to retrieve the DVD in question?” he asked Nick.
“Whatever it takes, I don’t care,” he replied fervently. “I want Summer found, so that we can bring Lily home safe and sound.”
Both detectives stood. “We’ll get on that, then. I don’t think we’ll have to advise you not to leave town.” Bates placed a reassuring hand on Autumn’s shoulder. “We’ll bring your daughter home to you, no matter what it takes.”
***
Twenty minutes after the detectives and the forensics team had left, the officer stationed outside the suite stepped inside.
“There’s an Elizabeth Barnes outside. She says she’d like to speak with you.”
Autumn’s face was buried in her hands, so Nick gestured a go-ahead. “Let her in. She’s Autumn’s agent.”
The officer disappeared out the door, and, seconds later, Liz burst into the room, still clad in pajamas. “Oh, my goodness! I just heard about Lily.” She hugged Autumn. “I just can’t believe this! Our poor Lily. God knows what that bitch is putting her through.”
Autumn felt the pressure building in her chest again and tried to stave off the tears. “I know, but the police are almost sure that it’s Summer that did it. They have to find her soon. Please, God.”
“They’ll find her, and, when they do, we’ll make sure she gets exactly what she deserves,” Liz said firmly. “In the meantime, tell me how I can help you.”
Nick left them on the couch and walked over to the wide bank of windows that looked out over the city. Somewhere, out there, Lily was being held captive in Summer’s lethal claws. At almost two years old, he knew she wouldn’t understand what was happening to her, except that Mama and Daddy weren’t there to take care of her. Would Summer find any sort of compassion in her heart to soothe her when Lily cried? What about feeding her? What about anything that Lily needed, Nick thought furiously. None of this mess should’ve ever touched Lily, and, now, she would pay for it with a toddler’s fear.
His hands fisted, and he could well imagine just plowing them into a wall out of anger, frustration, and simple fear. Better yet, he thought. Summer Evans would be better off praying that the cops got her before he did because he’d make her regret the day she was born.
“Nick.”
At the sound of his name, he turned to find Brian standing behind him with a member of their management team. “Yeah?”
Jared, the assistant manager, looked tense. “Listen, I’m really sorry about your kid, but the news just leaked to the press about what’s going on. There’s at least fifty reporters already crammed out on the sidewalk downstairs. They’re dying to know what’s going on.”
“So what?” He didn’t care about the press, Nick thought viciously. He cared about Lily. That was it.
Brian placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Nick, maybe if we tell them what’s going on, about Summer, they can get her picture out all over the place. Somebody might identify her, and this’ll all be over soon.”
“Additionally, the hotel management is pretty frantic about their own reputation. The owner’s flying out right now to talk to you and Autumn personally.” Jared’s face was grim. “One of the managers downstairs said something about a security tape.”
“What?” Nick pounced on the information. “What security tape?”
“Hotels always have security cameras, Nick. They’re in every hallway, in the lobby, sometimes in elevators. The manager is insisting on giving you the security tapes, whatever you need to help you.”
Brian bit his lip nervously. “Look, man, you can’t hole yourself up in this suite and expect to find Lily. I’m not saying that we should run out and search every alley or whatever, but let’s take advantage of what we have.” He glanced over his shoulder to where Autumn had begun to quietly weep into Liz’s shoulder. “It’s awful seeing her like that.”
“I know.” His own heart hurt, too. “I’ll call the detectives. They probably just didn’t think of the security tapes. Forget the media, right now. Neither of us is up to dealing with them yet.”
“Okay. I’ll let the hotel management know that they’ll have to get everything out to turn over to the cops.” Jared patted Nick’s back. “They’ll find her Nick. Someone’s bound to recognize Lily.”
Nick waited until Jared was gone before he turned away to stare blindly out the window. He scrubbed his hands over his face. It was nearly five in the morning, and he felt as though he’d been up for days. “God, I’m scared.”
Brian moved to stand next to him. “I know. I think we all are, but we’re all here for you and Autumn. The police will find Lily, Nick.”
“Yeah. I’m not going to give them a choice,” he replied determinedly and slid his cell phone out of his pocket. Before he could dial the number, the phone beeped in his hand. “Hello?”
“Mr. Carter, this is Detective Black.”
“Yeah, hi. Look, I was just about to call you.”
“We have confirmation that it was Summer Evans who kidnapped your stepdaughter.”
His heart was pounding in his ears. “How?”
“Derek Findley, the bodyguard, regained consciousness right before we got to the hospital. We talked to him, and he confirmed it. He didn’t notice the clothing was different until after Summer walked in to pick Lily up. When he rushed in, he felt a prick on his arm. Apparently, she tranq’d him.” Black paused. “His blood reports did show traces of a substance often used as a tranquilizer. Summer Evans came prepared, Mr. Carter. She was determined to follow through completely on her plan.”
Nick’s head spun at the information. Then, he remembered the security tapes. “Listen, hotel management is offering us their security tapes. Maybe we can find out exactly what she looked like. How she got in,” he added. “Did she knock on the door or did she have a key?”
“Key, according to Sampson.” Black was silent for a moment. “My partner and I will head back to the hotel. Would you and your wife want to join us to view the security footage?”
Nick looked over his shoulder at Autumn. “Yeah, we’ll meet you in the security room. Oh, there’re reporters blocking the main entrance. You should probably come up through the back,” he added.
“Right. Thanks.”
He hung up and walked over to kneel in front of Autumn, who was no longer crying. “Hey. Derek woke up and said it was definitely Autumn who showed up here. She got him with a tranquilizer injection or something.”
“Oh my god.” Her hand flew to her mouth. “He’s going to be okay, right?”
“Probably.” Nick took her hand in his. “We’re going to go downstairs and review the security tapes the hotel has with the police. I can go by myself if you don’t think you can,” he added softly.
Autumn sat up straight. “You don’t think I’m strong enough?”
“Baby, I think you’re pretty damn strong, but even I’m drained with all of this happening. What I’m saying is that I understand if you’re not up to doing it.”
“I can do it. I can seriously do it, Nick,” she added, seeing the skeptical look on his face.
He nodded. “Okay.” He stood and held out a hand. “Let’s go on down.”
“I, uh, I’ll stay here until you get back,” Liz offered. “However long you need me here,” she told Autumn.
Autumn smiled. “Thanks, Lizzie. I could use a friend.”
At her words, Nick’s gaze shifted to Brian, and the understanding in his eyes. “Can you call the guys up here? It’d be nice if we could have everyone together.”
“Sure.” Brian smiled reassuringly. “I hope you find something on those tapes.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
***
How, Nick wondered, did life screw you over so fast in such a short amount of time? Four hours ago, he’d confessed his feelings to Autumn only to have her ignore them seconds before they’d discovered that Lily had been kidnapped. Since then, he’d seen more cops in one room than he’d ever seen in his whole life, it felt like. Not to mention the reporters that were clamoring to get the scoop on what was going on.
“What do they know out there?” he quietly asked Jared as they waited outside the security office for Detectives Bates and Black.
Jared shrugged. “Not much. Just that Lily was kidnapped from under the noses of just about everyone.” He paused for a moment. “You and Autumn are going to have to make some sort of statement at some point, you know.”
“Listen, Jared,” he began but was cut off by another voice.
“That would be a very smart idea, Mr. Carter.” Bates nodded at him when he just stared at her incredulously.
“Hell no.”
Autumn squeezed his hand. “Let’s hear them out, Nick. Maybe we’re too freaked out to understand what they mean.”
When Nick reluctantly nodded, Bates spoke directly to Autumn. “Your sister hates you because of all the attention that you have received in the past several months. If you appear on news reports all over the country, wouldn’t it follow that she might be so incensed that she would make a mistake? Maybe she’ll call you or do something rash that would allow us to find her.”
“And maybe she’ll take it out on Lily,” Nick suggested angrily.
“Maybe. But that’s highly unlikely. She’d want you, Mrs. Carter, to know that she was angry. It’s probably the reasoning behind all the threats she sent you, too,” Black explained. “She takes pleasure in causing you pain.”
Autumn was quiet for long moments. “You’re right. I guess I just wasn’t thinking about all the reasons why she’s been doing all these terrible things. Nick.” She met his eyes. “We’ll have to give some sort statement or press conference or something. Not yet,” she added. “I don’t have it in me to do that, yet. But soon.”
He sighed, resigned. “Fine. Now, can we go look at those tapes?”
“Of course.”
The head of hotel security escorted them into the room full of cameras and gestured for them to sit near the largest screen.
“I’ve already pulled the tapes from the lobby, the elevators, and your floor,” he explained as he popped one of the tapes into a machine. “This has been rewound back to the time that you left the hotel at about a quarter to ten last night.”
“Thanks,” Nick muttered and leaned forward in his chair when the screen lit up with the video.
Sure enough, there he was, his hand in Autumn’s, as they strode across the lobby and out onto the street. There were several people milling about in the lobby, and he examined every single one, wondering if one of them was Summer, waiting to pounce. After a few minutes, he knew that she wasn’t there.
Detective Black frowned. “I don’t think we need to observe every minute of this. We’ll know when Summer walks in because she’ll make an entrance. If she’s dressed as Autumn Evans, she’ll be playing the role.” He gestured to the security head to fast forward a little.
Forwarding through an hour and a half of footage, he stopped when Nick yelped. “There she is. Damn it, damn it. She looks just like Autumn,” he murmured. “She even walks the same.”
Summer’s hair was the same length as her sister’s, and it was styled casually, exactly the way Autumn usually made her hair. She wore a royal purple top and white slacks, and had, somehow, matched Autumn’s gait when she walked. Nick could feel his blood boil at the sight.
Autumn frowned as she watched her sister’s entrance. How could Nick tell if she walked a certain way? But, she didn’t dwell on it too long as they all watched Summer walk up to the front desk and speak to the clerk on duty for a few moments. With a smile, she accepted a key card and headed for the elevators.
“We’ll need to speak to that young man who was on duty,” Bates ordered and the security man nodded in agreement.
Twenty minutes passed before Summer strolled into the lobby again. This time, she carried a sleeping Lily in her arms. Autumn swallowed the gasp.
“She was sleeping,” Nick murmured to her as his hand gripped hers. “She probably didn’t even know what was happening.”
“I know,” she whispered, but it was still hard to watch it.
“Let’s see the hallway footage.” Black murmured to his partner as she jotted notes onto a pad of paper.
When the next tape began to roll, they all watched Summer step off the elevator, walk right up to the suite door, and open it with the key card. Five minutes later, Kristy left the room, not realizing that she’d just met Summer Evans. A few short minutes later, Summer slipped out of the room, Lily in her arms. On her way back to the elevator, she stopped directly across from the camera and looked up into it. An evil smile spread slowly over her lips, and, with a cocky salute, she got onto the elevator.
Nick slapped the recording off and stood, his breath heaving as emotions stormed through him. “She knew,” he spat out after a few moments. “She knew there were cameras, she knew that we’d watch them. That’s why she did that.” He flung a hand out at the screen. “She didn’t just do this as a random job.”
“No.” Detective Black shook his head, his expression grim. “She must have been canvassing this job for weeks. She had to have known where you would stay on your trip and when you would be in and out.” He turned to the security officer. “We’ll need your security tapes for the last five weeks.”
“No.” Autumn swallowed nervously when several sets of eyes studied her. “We were in Japan five weeks ago. So was Summer. She followed us there.”
“How do you know this?” Bates asked.
“Because she left one of her threatening notes in our hotel room there.” Autumn couldn’t bring herself to meet Nick’s eyes, knowing he would be furious with her. “That’s how I know.”
Author's Notes:
I know, I can't believe it either! But, yes, I've actually posted another chapter in less than 24 hours! Whoo-hoo! I hope you enjoy!
He didn’t say a word, didn’t dare to. He wasn’t sure what would come out if he did say something. It would definitely be something he would live to regret somewhere down the road. Instead, he said nothing as the detectives told them that they would put out an APB immediately and that the LAPD would contact Nick for the security codes to their home in LA. He didn’t see any reason why they still needed the DVD, not when they’d verified the fact that it was definitely Summer who had kidnapped Lily.
Still, he just listened and nodded. When they left, he headed for the elevators. Part of him wanted to just go down to the hotel bar and drink himself into oblivion. The sane, rational part of him said that was probably the stupidest thing he could possibly do. He wasn’t really liking the sane half of him, but he knew that forgetting about everything was not going to make his problems disappear.
So, he climbed aboard the elevator and didn’t so much as look at his wife when she stood next to him. He stared at the different numbers that lit up over the elevator door as they headed back up to their floor.
“We have to tell the guys the truth. About us.”
Now, he looked at her. Pressing a button on the panel, he brought the elevator to a halt between floors before turning to stare at her. “Excuse me?”
Autumn twisted her hands together nervously. “Look, all of this started with lies, and lying is what’s gotten us here. In this mess.” She sighed and looked down at her hands. “Nick, I don’t feel right lying to your friends anymore. I know you’re mad at me right now, but I think telling them the truth about why we’re really married is the right thing to do.”
“Oh, yeah, and you’re all about doing the right thing, huh?” He slapped a hand against the wall and caught Autumn’s wince. “Well, fuck you, Autumn. You are one hell of an actress. All these weeks that Summer had been threatening you, you didn’t say anything. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have known until Summer took Lily and ran if I hadn’t just walked in at the right time and seen that DVD. She was following us around the world, and you didn’t say a word. How could you?”
She could feel his sense of betrayal and knew there was no one to blame but herself. “I wanted to protect you! Damn it, Nick! I didn’t want to worry anyone else about any of this because I thought she was just bluffing. If I thought for even a second that she would really kidnap my daughter, I would’ve called out the goddamn army to keep us safe.”
“Because Lily’s your daughter,” Nick said quietly. “Because she’s only yours, so that means only you can protect her, only you can worry about her.”
“Nick-”
He turned away from her. Now, alongside the anger, there was pain. She really didn’t trust him, he mused bitterly. She hadn’t trusted him enough to help her keep their family safe. And, where she couldn’t trust, she obviously didn’t love either. Why, he wondered, did he fall for the one woman who would never, ever love him back?
“We’ll tell the guys, right now,” he replied softly. “You’re right about one thing. It’s time to end all the lies.”
She nodded, worried by the lack of expression on his face and the flat tone of his voice. “Okay.”
When they opened the door to the suite, they found that Brian had called up Howie and AJ. Howie paced the parlor, while Brian was on his cell phone. AJ, though, was sitting on the couch, his arm around Liz’s shoulders as she wept. Even as they watched, he handed her tissues and brushed his lips over her temple.
Though he knew he shouldn’t, Nick felt a frisson of humor work its way through the anger and hurt inside him. He should’ve known AJ wouldn’t wait too long to make a move on someone like Liz.
“Hey!” Howie spotted them first. The other three turned their attention to them immediately.
“I gotta go, baby, Nick and Autumn are back,” Brian murmured into the phone. “I love you, too. Bye.” He snapped his phone shut and looked up expectantly. “Well? Did you find anything?”
“Yeah.” Nick headed for the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “Summer knew the whole set up and planned this out a while ago.” And he explained everything, even the part where she’d followed them on tour. For Autumn’s sake, though, he left out the part where Autumn hadn’t told anyone about the threats.
“God, what a bitch!” AJ proclaimed when Nick finished. “What a seriously psychopathic bitch. I don’t understand how the two of you shared the womb together,” he said to Autumn. “You’re nothing alike.”
Nick didn’t think he agreed with that statement. After all, the twins were fabulous actresses. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t change the facts. Summer has Lily, and the cops are going to find her no matter what.” He set the bottle aside and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Listen, Autumn and I need to talk to you guys about something. Something we should’ve told you from the start.”
Liz looked alarmed. “Nick, what’s going on?”
“What should’ve happened in the very beginning,” Autumn replied calmly, though her insides were quaking. Brian, AJ, and Howie had become the older brothers she’d never had, and she cared about them a lot. She just hoped they wouldn’t be too upset at being kept in the dark.
“Why don’t you sit?” Nick suggested to the guys. Exchanging bewildered glances, they did.
AJ frowned and toyed with the earpiece of his sunglasses. “Nick, it can’t be that bad, can it?”
Nick gulped. “Uh, why don’t you hear us out and then decide?” He took a deep breath and dove in. “Do you guys remember when I told you, back in November, that I was going to go out with Liz?”
“Nick.” Liz’s whisper was horrified.
“Sure.” Howie frowned at Liz. “But you said later that it was all a cover up to you dating Autumn.”
Nick sighed. “Well, that was a lie. In fact, everything you know about Autumn and me has been a lie for the last eight months. We got engaged and married to save her career from being destroyed by Summer’s accusations. Plus, being married to Autumn was a sure way to boost the Backstreet name.”
There was a long moment of stunned silence.
“Excuse me?” AJ’s face had paled, though his eyes sparked with temper. “You made up all of that, every last bit of that marital bliss and being a father to Lily, and yadda yadda just to save the group’s name? Oh, right, and to save Autumn’s career.”
Nick nodded. “Yeah.”
“And, what? You couldn’t trust us with the truth? We’ve known you for fifteen years, but you didn’t think twice about lying to us?” Howie’s voice was not quiet. In fact, he was close to raging. “Wait until Kevin finds out you lied to him, too! God, Nick, how could you?”
Nick didn’t know, couldn’t come up with all the reasons that had seemed to make so much sense to him months ago. Nothing made sense anymore. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Look, you’re all being too harsh on him,” Autumn broke in. “He was trying to help me. To protect me.”
“Oh, don’t get me started on you.” AJ gestured with his hat in hand. “You’re just as bad if not worse than he is. You’re a hell of an actress, aren’t you? Did you have to pretend to be our friend and care about us, too? Was that part of being Nick Carter’s wife? Was that on your goddamn checklist of what to do as his wife?”
“AJ.” Nick’s voice was quiet but firm. “Leave her out of it. She didn’t want to go along with my plan in the beginning anyway. All of this was my idea. The only thing I didn’t plan on was loving Lily. Finding her is the most important thing to me right now. If you want to be pissed off at me, fine. Go ahead. But there’s a little girl out there with a really wicked aunt, and I’m going to spend my time praying that we can bring her home safely.” He ran his hands wearily through his hair and sighed. “Autumn thought we should tell you the truth, and I agreed. I’m tired of lying because it hasn’t gotten us anywhere. Now, if none of you mind, I need a little space.” When not one uttered a single word, he strode off into one of the bedrooms and shut the door.
There was silence for several long moments as everyone looked around the room at each other. What was there to say? Autumn figured that Nick’s bandmates now hated her, and Nick was angry with her. Liz was the only one that wasn’t upset with her. AJ and Howie sat in shock still at the news they’d just received. About the only one that said nothing was Brian.
But that didn’t last for long.
“A few months ago,” he began softly, “at your reception, I thought there was something off.” Autumn met his eyes, remembering his suspicion. “I guess I was right. Then.”
“Brian.”
“But something’s changed since then,” he continued in that same tone, his eyes direct on hers. “Nick grew up. Whether or not you want it, Autumn, he is Lily’s father now, and you won’t be able to stop him from being her father. But it’s not just that, is it?”
Autumn’s pulse sped up, and she remembered the words Nick had thrown at her the night before. Love. He loved her. “Brian, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I think you know. Nick’s not known for his patience, so I’m sure he’s told you by now what he really feels for you. It’s hard to miss.” He reached out and took her hand in his. “He’s in love with you. The thing I don’t know, though, is if you love him back.”
She swallowed the lump of emotion balled in her throat. “Brian, I can’t even think about this right now. My child has been kidnapped, and I just—I just can’t worry about anything but Lily.”
“I know.” He let go of her and turned to AJ and Howie. “There’s really no point in being pissed at each other. It’s not like we haven’t all lied to each other, anyway. Besides, I’d rather not lose a new friend.” He smiled at Autumn. “So, let’s just forget about it.”
Howie nodded after a few moments, but AJ’s brows rose. “Wow, Brian. I can’t believe you just said ‘pissed’.”
When laughter filled the room, Autumn felt some of the tension lift from her shoulders. Then, she thought of Lily, and her laughter died.
***
She waited and worried and even let Brian lead a little group prayer for Lily’s safety. Three hours later, nothing AJ, Howie, Brian, or Liz did was helping her any. Someone from the forensics team had stopped by again for one last sweep of the suite and assured her that they were doing all they could to help bring her daughter home. Autumn was not at all assured by any of it.
After Liz forced her to eat a little bit of breakfast, she was feeling anxious and jumpy. How could she sit inside a hotel room calmly when her child was out there, somewhere?
“Go talk to Nick.”
“Huh?” Autumn looked up from the cup of tea sitting in front of her. AJ stared right back.
“I said I think you should go talk to Nick.”
She blinked, confused. “Why?”
AJ rolled his eyes. “What do you mean, why? It’s obvious that you’re out of your mind with worry, and, knowing Nick, he’s probably sitting in that room by himself doing the same thing. It might be better if the two of you just freaked out together. After all, only the two of you know what you’re feeling. Much as the rest of us love Lily, she’s yours. And Nick’s.” He gestured towards the closed bedroom door. “So, go on.”
She hesitated. “I don’t know, AJ. He’s pretty angry at me about a lot of stuff. I guess I haven’t exactly been the perfect wife or friend to him. He always wanted me to trust him, but I guess I never did. Not completely anyway. And when I thought about just protecting him from all those threats, he saw it as more distrust.”
“Do you trust him now?”
“I think so. I know he’s always said he loves Lily and would do anything for her, but I didn’t totally believe it until now. Until we lost her.” Her voice broke and, instantly, AJ enveloped her in a hug as she tried to sniffle back the tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to keep crying, but Lily’s my baby.”
AJ held her close. “You’re allowed to be human, Autumn. You’re allowed to have a breakdown. If you didn’t, I’d be worried. If Lily’s as strong as you, she’ll be just fine.” He let her go and tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “Go talk to Nick. You’ll feel better if you do.”
She brushed away the tears that clung to her eyelashes and nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” She managed a watery smile and stood. “Thanks, AJ. I know you were pretty upset before, but I’m glad you guys are here for us.”
“Hey, whatever you need, we’ll be there for you.” He nudged her towards the bedroom. “Now, go.”
So she went. She knocked on the door once, then twice. When there was no answer, she quietly pushed it open.
Though the sun was shining outside, the drapes in the room had been drawn shut to block it out. It wasn’t hard to see him laying on the bed, facing away from the door. Sighing a little, she made her way to the bed and around to where he lay on it.
His eyes were closed, and there were dark circles under them. How long had they been there? she wondered. He looked as tired as she felt, but at least he’d decided to do something about it.
And then his eyes opened and locked on hers, and she wondered how she could’ve ever imagined that he’d been sleeping.
“Nick, uh, I hope I didn’t wake you up.” Her voice was tiny and apologetic.
He stared at her for long moments before he sat up and made space for her. Cautiously, she settled on the edge of the bed.
“I wasn’t sleeping,” he replied after several moments of silence. “Tried to, but there’re all these horrible images in my mind. Having a great imagination sucks sometimes.”
“Yeah, I know,” she murmured and picked at the bedspread, the restless movement of her hands betraying her nerves.
When his hand closed over hers, she jolted. “Nick!”
“You’re nervous. You’re practically jumping out of your skin because you’re freaking out.” His eyes were calm, clear, and direct on hers, and she knew she could no longer lie to him. “Your hands get all jittery when you’re nervous, you know.”
“They do?”
He smiled a little. She sounded so astonished to learn something about herself that she knew nothing about. “Sure, they do. Autumn, how long are you going to try to pretend to the world that everything is fine? How long are you going to try to protect everyone around you?”
“I-I don’t know what you mean.”
Nick took both of her hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles. “You know what I’ve learned about you after living with you for a few months? You take on the role of everyone’s protector. You do it for Lily, for Liz, hell, you did it for me, too. Haven’t you ever thought that maybe we don’t need it?”
“Well, then, next time you step in front of a bus, I won’t stop you,” she muttered, annoyed. “It’s not a bad thing to want to take care of other people.”
“I never said it was. But, sometimes, you have to let other people take care of you, too.” He sighed. “That’s all I wanted from you. I wanted you to trust me enough to take care of you when things go wrong. I can’t do that if you keep blocking me. And I really want to take care of you,” he murmured, one hand reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear.
She could feel her skin heat where he touched it and fought down the blush creeping up her neck. “I’ll try, Nick. I can’t promise much, but I’ll try. It’s just hard for me to let someone else have control because I’ve been taking care of myself for so long.” She carefully lifted her eyes to meet his. “I do trust you, and I do care about you. That’s why it was hard for me to let you know when Summer was stalking us. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a little late for that.” Nick shook his head. “God, I keep imagining all the things that might be happening to Lily. Summer wants something from you, so she’s got to call or leave another message soon. Right?”
Autumn sighed and shook her head. “Honestly, I don’t know anymore. She probably figures she’s getting her payment by watching me suffer. I hope that’s not all she wants. I really hope she gets greedy and wants money. I’d give a million dollars for her to just call with a ransom demand or something.”
When she started shaking again, Nick pulled her into his arms and held on. He knew they both needed the comfort, and, holding her, he prayed that something would happen soon. The waiting was killing him.
***
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Brian held Nick’s face in his hands and stared hard into his face. “Nick. Are you absolutely positive you’re ready?”
Nick took a deep breath before nodding. “Yes. Yes, absolutely.”
Brian let go of him and glanced over his shoulder to where Autumn was being briefed by Liz. “What about Autumn? Is she going to be okay?”
“I’ll be right next to her,” Nick replied simply, causing Brian to turn and study him again.
“Yeah, I guess you will,” he said after a moment. “Well, AJ, Howie, and I will be at the bottom of the steps the whole time. If you need a cheering squad, just look over and we’ll do a dance or something.” Brian cracked a smile and pretended to wave pompoms enthusiastically. His smile widened at the sound of Nick’s chuckle.
Nick patted Brian’s shoulder. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose Baylee, and I don’t want to. It must be hell.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“I know we’ve said it like a billion times, Nick, but, whatever you and Autumn need, we’ll be there for you.”
Nick didn’t know what else to do, so he hugged Brian. “Thanks. Seriously, thanks.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Brian backed out of Nick’s hold and looked around comically. “You better hope no one saw that, or they’ll really get on our case about being gay.”
Nick was still laughing when the press director stepped out of the hotel conference room where the press conference was going to be held. “Mr. and Mrs. Carter? We’re ready for you now.”
Autumn reached for Nick’s hand as they walked to the door. AJ and Howie patted him reassuringly on the back and hugged Autumn. Nick felt them walk into the room behind him and felt slightly better as he faced the roomful of reporters. There were cameras and recorders out across the room. A sea of solemn, yet eager, faces watched him and Autumn.
He felt her tense up next to him and slid an arm around her waist. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered and she nodded.
They took their places at the table set up with several microphones. Nick looked down at the prepared statement that management had helped him and Autumn write. The press director introduced them and let the reporters know that there would only be time for three questions from the group. Then, it was their turn.
Autumn took a shaky breath before she began to speak. “Last night, Nick and I,” she gripped his hand hard, “returned to this hotel, to our room, and found our daughter missing and her bodyguard unconscious on the floor. In the hours since then, the police have helped us ascertain that it was my twin sister, Summer, who kidnapped Lily.”
“The police are doing everything they can to help us,” Nick said. “But it’s still so hard to wait and not know where Lily could be or what’s happening to her. It’s hard not to imagine the worst case scenario. We are asking—no, begging,” he improvised as his voice shook with emotion. “We are begging everyone out there to let us or the police know if you’ve seen Summer Evans. No matter where you’ve seen her, please call and let the authorities know. There’s even a special number you can call just for this. So please help us. That’s all we ask.”
Autumn leaned into him as they both said, “Thank you,” together.
When numerous hands shot up across the room, Nick called on one. “What’s your question?”
“There are rumors circling that Summer Evans had been sending threats to you, Autumn. Can you confirm or deny this?”
Autumn nodded. “She did. For several weeks, I received a variety of messages and threats, each one more nasty than the last. So, yes, it’s true that she did send threats.”
Another reporter immediately asked, “Did you take extra precautions to ensure your family’s safety? Or was nothing done? Isn’t it true that yesterday was the first day your daughter had a bodyguard?”
Nick felt his fist clench tightly and spoke through his teeth. “If you’re implying that we had any responsibility in the kidnapping of our daughter, you are absolutely wrong. I don’t even know how you could think to ask someone that question. Did we mean to endanger our child? Hell, no. No parent does.”
“Nick.” Autumn’s whisper was a plea. “Let me.”
He shook his head and continued to glare daggers at the reporter. “We love our child, and we didn’t think that Summer would ever harm her. Her hatred is directed towards her sister, and maybe at me, and we expected her to come for us. Yeah, we hired extra security, but it’s obvious that our attempts at being good parents didn’t make a difference. So don’t stand there and tell us that we could’ve been better parents. Tell me, what else would you have done?”
The reporter said nothing and sat down.
Autumn sighed. “Thank you all for being present today. If you could distribute pictures of Summer on your stations and newspapers and urge your viewers to contact us or the police if they have any information, we would be very grateful.”
The press director stepped in and quickly closed the conference. Nick pushed away from the table and headed down the stairs. He needed to get out and away, he thought. He just needed some fresh air, some quiet. He hadn’t meant to let his anger get the best of him, but it had. His fear had unleashed his anger, and he tried to rein it back.
“Way to go, tiger,” AJ commented as he swung out the door right behind Nick. “Wait up.”
“Go away,” Nick growled over his shoulder and continued to stomp down the hall.
AJ rolled his eyes and sped up enough to grab Nick’s shoulder and stop him. He didn’t bother wincing at the rage on Nick’s face and met it head-on. “Go ahead, take a punch. But don’t leave your wife back there. She’s in just as much pain and is just as scared as you, if not more, so don’t leave her right now. The rest of us can try to offer comfort, but you’re the only one she needs right now.”
Nick knew AJ was right, but the mixture of rage and fear within him swelled uncontrollably. “She’ll be okay.”
“Nick.”
“Fuck you, AJ,” he muttered and arrived back at the conference room just as Autumn came out.
She was deathly pale, and there were fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. Though Liz tried to talk to her, she didn’t look as though she heard a word. When she saw Nick, though, she threw her arms around him and held on.
Nick gathered her into his arms and met AJ’s look with a resigned shake of his head. Then, scooping Autumn up, he carried her to the elevator as she continued to weep.
Author's Notes:
In case you haven't heard, November is official "I will finish writing this story" month! And here's the first of the last five chapters of this story! I'm really excited that it's all finally starting to come to an end, and I hope you enjoy!
Two days. Two days, Nick thought. It had been two days since Lily had been kidnapped, and there was no news as to where Summer could be. No one had reported seeing her, and the police were tracking her bank account and credit cards to see if and where she spent any money. So far, it didn’t look too good.
The press conference obviously hadn’t done anything to make Summer call them or send them any sort of message. She hadn’t even asked for a ransom. She’d just taken Lily and vanished.
Nick pounded his fist against the window of the suite and stared, frustrated, at the bright lights of New York. For all anyone knew, Summer and Lily weren’t even in the city anymore. They could be anywhere, and he was worried sick.
But as terrible as he felt, Autumn was much worse. She was barely eating, didn’t talk to anyone, and slept in fifteen minute snatches of time. The dark circles under her eyes were a testament to the sleeplessness. No matter how much coaxing or cajoling anyone tried, she simply didn’t crawl into bed.
Well, he certainly understood. He’d slept for a couple hours here and there, but, with all the nightmares he’d been having, he no longer wanted to shut his eyes and let his subconscious wreak havoc.
Turning away from the window, Nick studied the people sprawled out across the suite. It was nearly three in the morning, and, just like the past two nights, Howie and AJ were camped out on the couches. Because neither Nick nor Autumn were using the bedroom, Brian had tucked Leighanne and Baylee into the bed there. Leighanne had flown up after ignoring Brian’s advice to just wait it out in Atlanta. Nick was glad she was there because she was just another person who would force Autumn to eat and function as a normal human being.
And, speaking of his wife…
Nick leaned against the doorway of the second bedroom, the one that had been Lily’s, and studied Autumn. She was curled up on the bed, clutching Lily’s favorite teddy bear. Her eyes were wide open and stared blankly up at the ceiling. He couldn’t count the number of hours that she’d spent in that same position, but he was worried about her. It couldn’t be healthy to turn into a conscious coma patient, he thought, and yet, that was what she was doing. If you tried talking to her about something other than Lily or the investigation, it was like talking to a wall.
He sighed and, making his way over to the bed, settled on the edge of it. She didn’t blink once, but he heard her breath exhale shakily.
“Autumn?”
Her hand moved then, reaching for his. “Why haven’t they found Lily yet? I bet she misses Bear. She loves Bear, can’t sleep without him. Oh, I hope she’s not scared without him.”
Nick stroked his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. “She’ll be fine. She’s a pretty strong kid. It’s just a matter of time before the cops find Summer.” He paused. “Autumn, why don’t you get some sleep? Just for a little while.”
“She could be anywhere, Nick.”
“You need to take care of yourself because Lily’s going to need you to be strong enough to take care of her when she comes home.” His fingers squeezed hers lightly. “Come on, baby. Just for a little while. Just close your eyes.”
A single tear rolled down her cheek. “Nick.”
“Yeah?”
Her words were a whisper. “Can you hold me please? I’m too scared to close my eyes. The nightmares…They hurt.”
“Come here.” Nick held out his arms, and she curled up against him, her body trembling. “Shh. Everything will be fine, baby. Lily will be home soon. I promise.”
“I never meant for her to be hurt in all this,” Autumn murmured. “I tried to protect her as best as I could.”
Nick pulled her close, resting his chin on her head. “We both did. It’s no one’s fault but Summer’s.” If he could go back in time, he thought, he would have Summer in prison in no time. “Just close your eyes, Autumn. Think of all the things we’ll do once Lily’s home again.”
“I’ll never let her out of my sight,” she whispered fiercely.
“I’ll take you both to Disney World,” Nick murmured, ignoring her words. “Have you ever been?”
Autumn sighed a little. “No. I bet Lily would love it.”
“You’ll love it, too. It’s the most magical place on earth.”
“Nothing bad happens there. Everyone’s happy.” Her words were slowing, her breathing softer.
“Yeah. It’s the best.”
When she didn’t respond, he found that she’d fallen asleep. Finally. If he had anything to say about it, she’d sleep for more than a little while. He’d meant it when he said that Lily would need both of them to be strong when she came home. God only knew what their little girl had been put through already.
“Tomorrow,” he whispered. “Tomorrow, we’re getting out of here, Autumn. We both need fresh air and more hope.”
Hopefully, he’d be able to find enough hope for the both of them because they needed it. Desperately.
***
With a sad sigh, Brian watched as Leighanne tried to cajole Autumn into eating breakfast. As Liz had gone back to her hotel for a fresh change of clothes, Leighanne was put in charge of Autumn, and it didn’t look as though her efforts were getting anywhere. Autumn just shook her head and ignored everything Leighanne put in front of her.
“I’m just not hungry, Leigh.”
“You have to eat something, Autumn. You’re wasting away in front of our eyes!”
Autumn shrugged. “So what? I’m more concerned about my child right now. Do you think, if it were Baylee who was missing, that you would care about something like food or sleep?”
Leighanne sighed and set down the plate she held. “No, of course not. Autumn, I’m worried about Lily, too. All of us are,” she gestured to her husband, Howie, and AJ. “But I know you’d feel better and have more strength if you ate something.”
“Maybe later,” Autumn replied, and, folding her arms, she turned away to stare out the window, her phone clutched in her hand.
Brian shook his head and paced the room a little more, stopping to check on Baylee, who was coloring in the bedroom. Nick was the only one Autumn even remotely listened to anymore. He’d somehow managed a minor miracle by getting her to sleep for several hours the night before, but, now, he was gone. Brian had caught him as he’d been heading out the door. All he’d said was he had things to do, and Brian had let him go.
Now, he wished Nick were back.
“Daddy?” Baylee looked up from the picture he was drawing.
“Yeah, buddy?” Brian crouched next to his son.
Baylee stared at his picture for a long time before speaking. “Is Lily going to come home soon? I miss her.”
“Aww, buddy.” Brian scooped his son into his arms and rocked a little. “The police are working very hard on bringing her back.”
“Do you think she’s scared?”
Brian sighed. “I don’t know. I hope not. Her aunt sort of looks like Autumn, so maybe she’s not so scared.”
“How come her aunt is so mean? Uncle Nick and Uncle Howie and Uncle J would never be mean and steal me. How come Lily’s aunt is like that?” Baylee’s eyes were worried, and he bit his bottom lip nervously.
“I don’t know. A lot of bad things happened to her, and she decided not to forgive people. It was a bad idea because now she’s not very nice at all.” Brian didn’t know how else to explain the messy situation. “We just have to hope that she’ll take care of Lily and let the police find her.”
“I made a picture for Aunt Autumn,” Baylee said after a few moments. “Look.”
Brian looked at the drawing, and his heart swelled. In the picture, a pretty house with lots of flowers surrounding it stood in the background. Standing in the front yard, were three figures, that, in a four year old’s creative mind, loosely resembled a smiling Nick, Autumn, and Lily. Perfect, he thought. It was perfect.
“Bay, this is really nice. I bet Autumn would really like it. It’ll make her feel better.”
Baylee smiled. “I hafta color it some more, but then I’ll give it to her.”
Brian heard the door to the suite open and, ruffling Baylee’s hair, he headed out and intercepted Nick before he reached the parlor. “Nick! Where have you been for the last three hours?”
“Out.” Nick carried plastic shopping bags and wore a baseball cap.
“Out? Out where?” Brian fisted his hands on his hips. “Look, Nick. You have a wife who is going to collapse from exhaustion soon, and you’re the only person she listens to. You can’t just go out whenever the hell you want.”
Nick rolled his eyes. “I know you’re worried, Brian, but I’m taking care of her. If you let me go, I can do that.”
“Fine.” But Brian followed Nick into the parlor.
Nick took a moment to look from Autumn’s expressionless face to Leighanne’s frustrated one and the full room service tray. “Okay, let’s go.”
Autumn looked up, confused. “What?”
“Oh, good. You’re paying attention.” Nick grabbed her arm and hauled her off the couch. “Let’s go. We’ve got places to go, things to do.”
She jerked her arm out of his hold. “I’m not going anywhere. Are you out of your mind?”
Nick pulled out a hat and sunglasses from one of the bags. Piling Autumn’s long curls on top of her head, he fit the hat on her head and popped the sunglasses on her nose. “I haven’t lost my mind, and neither have you. Yet. But we might. So let’s go.” Not giving her a second to react, he grabbed her hand and yanked her out of the suite. “We’ll be back soon, guys. Don’t worry,” he called over his shoulder before the door shut.
Autumn struggled to get out of Nick’s hold all the way down on the service elevator. “Nick, I can’t leave! What if someone calls? What if there’s new information? What if Summer calls?”
“What if, what if, what if!” Nick rolled his eyes. “Autumn, we both have our cell phones on us, don’t we? We’ll be the first to know if something happens.”
“Nick-”
But she was cut off by the opening of the elevator doors. Nick hustled them down a hallway and out the back door of the hotel. Walking quickly, they took the back alleys without talking and came out on the busy sidewalk after a few blocks. Nick glanced back at the main entrance of the hotel and winced when he saw all the reporters and media crews crowding the sidewalk. No one had seen them, but there were so many of them.
Not taking any chances or giving Autumn time to speak, he hailed a cab and hopped in.
“Where to?” the cabbie muttered.
“Central Park.”
Autumn gaped at him. “Are you kidding me? Central Park? You can’t be serious. Let’s go back, please.”
“Nope. Besides, have you ever seen Central Park?”
“No, but that’s not the damn point! I don’t know how you expect me to walk around out there while Lily is missing!” she hissed. “Maybe you don’t care about her, but-” She broke off when fury filled Nick’s face.
“Don’t you ever think that. I would do anything, anything to bring her back to us. What is it gonna take to convince you that I really love her? She might not be mine biologically, but she’s my daughter in every other way.” Folding his arms, he turned to stare out the window. No matter how many times he said it, he thought, Autumn still didn’t believe him. She and Lily were his family, and he’d cut off an arm before letting either of them get hurt.
“Nick.” Autumn touched his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I know you love her, I know. I’m just so out of my mind with terror, and I don’t know what to do anymore.”
He sighed. “I understand. I just need you to understand what I’m saying, too. We can’t hole ourselves up in that suite because it’s not helping. I thought if we went for a walk, getting a little fresh air would help. Energize us or something.”
She considered it for a moment and realized he was doing this for her more than himself. “Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Nick.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m glad I have you here during this really awful time.”
“Yeah.” He squeezed her hand. “Same goes.”
When the cab pulled up at the entrance to the Park, they paid the driver and climbed out. Standing in the brilliant sunshine and the sticky New York summer heat, Autumn felt as though she’d stepped into a different world. It was as though she’d forgotten all about the outside world with Lily’s kidnapping. As though it didn’t affect her.
Nick laced their fingers together and pulled her down the path. They didn’t speak as they walked down the path in the busy park. At midday, there were plenty of children running around and parents running after them. There was an old man feeding the ducks at a pond, and an elderly couple held hands as they sat on a park bench amidst the children. Nick wondered what it would be like to sit like that with Autumn when they were both old.
It would be pretty great, he decided. As long as he didn’t let her get away.
As they approached the zoo, Autumn tugged Nick over to it. “Let’s go in.”
“The zoo?” He frowned at the sign. “Really? You want to?”
She managed to smile, the first smile he’d seen since her birthday party. He knew then that, if the zoo was going to put a smile on her face, he’d do it. “Okay, yeah. Why not?”
Inside, they wandered from room to room. Autumn stopped to silently study an iguana sunning itself before moving on to another section. Nick let her go wherever she wanted, knowing it was helping her.
When they arrived at the penguin area, she smiled again. “Look at them, Nick. Aren’t they cute?”
“Yeah.” He watched the black and white birds waddle around and honk at each other. “They’re kinda funny. I think Lily’ll like them when we bring her here. She loves that movie, too.”
“Happy Feet,” Autumn murmured. “Yeah, she does. So do you,” she added with a wink.
Nick grinned and pulled the bill of her cap over her eyes, ignoring her yelp. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all right.”
“Whatever. I know who was dancing along to it with Lily, and it sure wasn’t me,” she teased. “But I’ll let it go. Let’s go see the polar bears!”
As he followed her to the tank where the snowy white bears swam lazily, he couldn’t help but be glad that they’d gotten out of the hotel. Both of them had needed a distraction from the constant worrying. Not that they weren’t worried, now. Though she smiled, Nick could see the nerves in her eyes. And the fear was ever present, the same fear that lived inside him. But, he thought, if he could make her smile for a little while, then it had been worth it to sneak away for a little bit.
He had a family now, one he’d chosen, and he was going to do whatever it took to keep his women happy and safe. He’d failed at protecting Lily already, but he was determined that, while they waited for Lily’s safe return, he would take care of Autumn. No matter what.
***
They sneaked in the back entrance to the hotel when they returned. When they’d seen the news crews in front of the building, Autumn’s smile had disappeared, and Nick could practically see her spirits sinking again. Disappointed, he struggled to be optimistic and positive for the both of them.
The elevator ride was silent, and Autumn took the time to shed herself of the disguise Nick had put on her. He’d managed to get her to eat a hot dog and a half at the park, and, while it hadn’t been the healthiest of foods, at least she’d eaten something, he mused. He wondered what it would take to get her to eat dinner.
“Thanks again, Nick,” she said quietly. “I know you wanted to help me, and you did. I feel a lot better considering.”
He smiled and tugged on her hair. “If polar bears and penguins have a positive effect on you, we’ll have to head to the zoo whenever you’re mad or upset.”
“They were cute to watch. And innocent,” she added. “Must be nice to live your life worry-free and only have to care about what you’ll eat at your next meal.”
“Or what rock you’ll sunbathe on next?” Nick suggested with a smile.
When the elevator doors opened, they were smiling at each other. Outside the door to the suite, Brian and Liz stood whispering heatedly about something.
“Hey guys.” Nick frowned when they shut up and smiled widely. “Is everything okay?”
Brian nodded. “Yup. Uh, of course! Why wouldn’t it be? Did you have a nice trip?” he asked Autumn.
She frowned at him and Liz. “Yeah, I guess. What’s going on? Did something happen?”
“No,” Liz replied quickly. “Nothing happened. Everything’s fine. It’s just, uh…”
Autumn slid her key card through the lock and pushed the door open. Nick let her go before turning back to Liz and Brian. “Okay, what’s going on? And don’t lie. You were talking about something important, and I want to know what it is.”
Before either of them could answer, they heard Autumn scream. Nick bolted through the door and came to a screeching halt inside the parlor. Obviously, there had been no reason to get so scared, he thought with a sinking feeling. Autumn was perfectly fine.
Even though she was currently enveloped in the arms of Jack McCann.
“Shit.”
Jack cupped Autumn’s face in his hands and studied it. “Are you okay? I got here as soon as I heard what had happened. Oh, Autumn, I can’t believe your sister kidnapped Lily. I’m so sorry.”
Autumn wrapped her arms around Jack’s waist and leaned against him. “I know you didn’t leave on a good note, but I’m so glad you’re here.”
AJ and Howie sidled over to where Nick stood. “That’s the ex?” AJ muttered.
“Yeah.” Nick watched the way they stood, wrapped together as though they were the only ones in the room. He could feel his heart crack and wondered what to do next.
Jack lifted his head and met Nick’s eyes. “Carter.”
“McCann. It’s nice of you to come.”
“I’d do anything for my girls,” Jack replied simply and then proceeded to settle Autumn on the couch, murmuring soothingly to her.
Leighanne sighed and placed her hand on Nick’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, Nick. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah,” Nick whispered but didn’t agree at all.
He couldn’t believe this was happening. After all the months and all the time he’d spent trying to gain Autumn’s trust and affection, he hadn’t known that all it would take was Autumn’s ex showing up to wreck it all. She’d fallen in love with Jack, had wanted to marry him, and nothing Nick did would compare to that.
But Jack was wrong about one thing. Autumn and Lily weren’t his anymore. They were Nick’s family, and he’d do everything in his power to keep it that way.
“No damn archaeologist is going to change that,” he muttered to himself.
He only wished he could believe it.
Author's Notes:
Whee! I'm SO on a roll! I think this story will actually be finished by the end of November, so whoo! This chapter's a little shorter than the others, but the next chapter will more than make up for it *winks* So, enjoy!
I’m losing them already. It’s been a whole six hours since Jack showed up, and already I feel like I’ve lost Autumn. If I lose her, I lose Lily once we get her back.
It’s so frustrating to compete against a guy that has all the advantages in the world, and you have none. If it hadn’t been for his own moronic actions, Jack and Autumn probably would’ve been married by now. They would be living happily ever after, and I would never have fallen in love with her.
Then again, maybe I would have anyway. I think if I had stayed friends with Autumn, there would have come a day when I would’ve taken that fall. It’s fate. It has to be fate. What else would you call it?
I know what I call this moment right now. As I sit here and watch Autumn curled up in Jack’s arms like they’re the world’s most perfect couple, I feel rage. Helplessness. Sorrow.
Fear.
Hell, yeah, I’m freaking out. I’m about to lose the woman I’m in love with to a guy who wasn’t even around for the last seven or eight months. And, when he was, he made her life miserable.
What the hell is wrong with women? Why do they put themselves through hell like this? Jack’s going to leave again as soon as Lily comes home, and then what’ll I do? I’ll turn into that oh-so-annoying cliché: the best guy friend who’s desperately in love with the perfect girl.
Remember “Win a Date with Tad Hamilton”? Yeah, I know, it’s a chick flick. I only watched it because Kate Bosworth is hot with a double T.
Sorry.
What I’m trying to say is, that Topher Grace in that movie is what I’ll turn into when Jack wreaks havoc again.
Except that my best friend isn’t in love with me back. In fact, the only reason she’s my best friend is because we have this fake marriage going on to boost our careers, and, because we were stuck together for so long, we just clicked.
And then I went and ruined it all by falling for her.
And now I’m going to lose her.
I know I should be focusing on the fact that my sweet, sweet Lily is missing. The aunt, who’s really a bitch from hell, kidnapped her and won’t even give us a fucking chance to get her back. Sometimes, I wish I had X-ray vision or something. That way, I’d go through every building in the city, maybe the East Coast, to find Summer and Lily.
And when I find Summer, I’ll…
Well, let’s just say it won’t be pretty. But, until that happy day, I get to sit here, in this overly crowded hotel suite, and watch the woman I love fall for the jackass archaeologist. Again.
If they were any closer, Nick thought it might count as indecent. Except for the fact that they had clothes on. His teeth were clenched together so tightly that he was getting a headache from it.
“Nick.” Brian and AJ surrounded him, arms folded over their chests.
He spared them a glance before his gaze fixed on Autumn and Jack again. “The two of you look ridiculous. Are you gonna play good cop, bad cop?”
Brian looked at AJ. “Were we? If we are, can I be the bad cop? I’m tired of the whole saint deal.”
Nick lifted a brow, eyes still on the couple on the couch. “Since when are you a saint?”
“Uh, haven’t you been keeping up with fanfiction, Nick?” Brian wiggled his brows. “You are behind if you didn’t notice that I’m type-casted as the nice, saintly one who’s constantly emotionally abused by the woman I love.”
“Yeah? Join the club,” Nick muttered. Brian and AJ exchanged glances before AJ took over.
“Oh? You feel like you need to live up to the expectations of yourself in fanfiction?” AJ frowned. “That should be easy for you to do, except that you have to contract cancer and have your leg chopped off.”
It only took a second before Nick finally looked at the two of them. “What the hell are you talking about? Cancer and chopped off legs?”
Brian shrugged. “Yeah. We’ve been keeping ourselves busy while you play the tortured hero. Which actually fits your fanfic persona, didn’t you know?”
“Shut up.” He couldn’t help it, he had to laugh. “The two of you have been reading fanfiction? About us? Have you officially lost it?”
“We weren’t reading fanfiction,” AJ replied. “We were reading this fanfiction forum where these authors write about the cliches that show up in fanfiction about us.”
Nick rubbed his hands over his face, wondering if he’d been dropped in a parallel universe.
“You know, that’s one way fanfiction about us is written,” Brian offered. He nodded when Nick could only stare at him. “Yep. It’s true. Sometimes, we get to play superheros, or cops, or Star Wars-y space commanders or whatever. It’s kinda cool. In a weird way,” he added quickly.
Nick just stared some more. “Are you reading my mind now?”
“No. You muttered something about being in a parallel universe.” AJ shook his head. “You’re not in a parallel universe, you’re in the real world, buddy. Although, when I think about the last eight months of your life, they just read exactly like a fanfiction story. So maybe we all need to pinch each other to make sure we’re awake and not imagining all of this.”
Nick held up his hands before they could pinch him. “Stop it! Both of you, are you out of your minds? My daughter is missing, my wife is in love with her ex, my world is falling apart, and the two of you are reading about fanfiction? This is too surreal.”
Brian nodded soberly, though his eyes gleamed with mischief. “We know all that, Nick, and we agree that it sucks. I’m sorry that I’m not as saintly as everyone thinks, otherwise I’d pray up a miracle for you.”
“Shut up.” But he was laughing now.
Brian looked at AJ. “I guess it worked,” he whispered as Nick continued to howl with laughter. Autumn lifted her head from Jack’s shoulder and frowned as Nick giggled away. “I think he’s the one who’s finally lost it.”
“Agreed,” AJ whispered back. “But, hey, it’s better than watching him get lockjaw, right?”
Brian made a face at that, but he, too, agreed. Placing his hands firmly on Nick’s shoulders, he shook Nick until he stopped laughing. “Nickolas. Control yourself, man.”
“Sorry.” Nick wiped at the tears that had slipped from his eyes. “It was just too funny. Fanfiction. Holy shit, what is this group coming to?”
“What, like you’ve never read any?” AJ demanded. “I know for a fact that you did, so don’t even start.”
Nick waved it off. “Whatever. Anyway, thanks guys.”
“For what? Letting you make fun of us?” Brian pouted. “That hurts my feelings. Doesn’t it hurt yours, AJ?”
AJ raised his eyebrows. “It sure does. So, what are you gonna do to make it up to us, Carter?”
In response, Nick threw his arms around them both and hugged them. When his eyes met Autumn’s, he was the first to look away and missed the pained look in her eyes. He didn’t want to hurt anymore, he thought, and, for self-preservation, he was going to take the first step away. That way, it won’t hurt as much when we’re over.
“Thanks, guys,” he murmured to Brian and AJ. “I know you were trying to make me feel better. You won.”
Brian gave AJ an “I told you so” look before studying Nick closely. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”
Nick shrugged. “Sure. As soon as Lily’s home. Maybe things will get back to normal then.”
“Normal?” AJ turned around to see Jack stroking Autumn’s hair and whispering in her ear. “Oh, yeah. With him around, things are definitely not going to be normal even with Lily back.”
Brian elbowed him. “Way to think positive, AJ!”
Before AJ could retaliate, Nick stepped between the two of them. “God, I can’t believe I have to break up your fights, now. Way too surreal. Anyway.” He glared at both of them. “This is my life, and I’ll deal with things as they come. First thing is telepathically getting Summer to just call or send a smoke signal or something because this waiting is fucking killing me.” He glanced over at the two officers that sat in the corner of the room. They’d been there for two days now, waiting for Summer’s call. Not to mention the officers that took shifts outside the suite door. He was surrounded, Nick thought, but it wasn’t helping.
“Nick, she’ll call. She’s got to make a move soon.” AJ put his arm around Nick’s shoulders. “From the sounds of it, she’s not a very patient person. It’s only a matter of time.”
Yeah, Nick thought. Only a matter of time. Except that it had been three days, and things were not looking up.
“Do you know what Summer could’ve done in three days?” he asked Brian, AJ, and Howie, who had joined the group.
Howie sighed. “Nicky, you can’t think about it that way. Positive thinking, remember?”
“Shut it, Howard.” Nick scowled. “You try thinking positively when your kid gets kidnapped by your seriously nutso sister-in-law.”
“He has a point,” AJ muttered and earned another elbow jab from Brian. “Ouch!”
Nick lifted his brows. “Children,” he said in a long-suffering tone. “Whenever you’re ready.” When he was met by three incredulous stares, he nodded. “Right, as I was saying. In three days, Summer could’ve left the country with Lily. She could be on a boat in the middle of the Pacific or she could be in some hotel in Greece. She could’ve sold Lily to the black market baby industry.”
“ “Black market baby industry’?” AJ’s jaw dropped. “Is that real?”
Nick ignored him. “My point is, I’m tired of just sitting here and waiting. We could be out there, searching. Waiting for Summer is like waiting for hell to freeze over. It ain’t gonna happen, and she’s not gonna show.”
“So what do you want to do?” Howie asked calmly, though he, too, thought Nick was becoming slightly crazed. “Put on a detective hat and magnifying glass and go solve the mystery of where Summer is hiding Lily?”
“Seriously, Nick. People who make their living solving kidnapping cases are working on finding Lily. What makes you think that you could find her better than they could?” Brian rested a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “I know you’re scared sick, but you have to let the police do their job.”
“There’s been no progress!” Nick slammed a fist on the wall, startling everyone in the room.
Jack slid off the couch and walked over to where Nick stood with his friends. “Carter, are you out of your mind? Autumn’s a wreck, and you’re not making things easier for her by breaking the wall. So grow up.”
AJ, Howie, and Brian had to grab hold of Nick to stop him from punching Jack—or worse. “Don’t do it, Nick,” Brian gasped as he tried to hold his ground while Nick struggled against them. “You’re not gonna feel better.”
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Nick growled at Jack. “You think you can waltz in here, eight months after you break Autumn’s heart, and you think things will be fine again? La-de-fucking-da, Jack’s here, so all will be well, now?”
“You’re a mess,” Jack sneered. “Look at you. You’re so pathetic, you can’t even take care of your stepdaughter. I looked after Lily for a year and a half, and nothing happened. Suddenly, you pop onto the scene as her stepdad, and she’s been kidnapped. What does that tell everyone about you? Not much,” he answered before Nick could. “Grow up, Nick, and accept defeat. You lose, I win.”
Autumn stepped between them, unaware of the words that had been exchanged. “Stop it! Both of you. Jack, can you just leave him alone? Please?” Jack mumbled something under his breath, but he went. Then, Autumn turned to Nick. “Nick, what is wrong with you? Do you have to pick a fight with him? I know that he wasn’t exactly nice to you last Thanksgiving, but can’t you just be a gentleman and let it go? Especially now?” She brushed at the tears on her lashes, and Nick felt like the jackass, now. “God, my baby is missing, and all you can do is strut your male ego around? I need Jack here, Nick. I didn’t realize how much, but I do. So, please, do me a favor and back off.”
Nick stared at the floor, trying to suppress the twin emotions of rage and hurt that bubbled within him. Couldn’t she see that he was upset, too? But, no, fucking Jack had to waltz in and change everything. “Fine,” he said finally, meeting her gaze. “I’ll back off. Completely.”
He turned away from her and, brushing past AJ and Brian, he started towards the door. Autumn reached for him. “Nick, wait-”
And the phone rang.
Everyone seemed to freeze for a second, but the second ring put them into motion again. Autumn practically leapt across the room to grab the phone. One of the officers slipped on a pair of headphones and pressed play for the recorder on the tracing device.
Nick watched helplessly as Jack knelt next to Autumn. Even as she took a deep breath before speaking, she grabbed his hand and held onto it for support. “Hello?”
“Hi, sis.”
“Summer!” Autumn tried not to let her voice tremble. “Summer, we know you took Lily. Please, if you have any heart, please bring her back. I swear, I won’t press any charges against you if you do.”
Summer laughed. “Are you really naïve enough to think I’ll give my precious niece back just because you said so?”
“Summer, please. This fight, this conflict we have, it’s only between the two of us. Please, leave Lily out of it. Bring her back, and I swear I’ll do whatever you want.” Out of the corner of her eye, Autumn saw one of the officers signal for her to hang on for thirty seconds more for an accurate trace of the call.
There was a pause. Then, “No, I don’t think so. I’m getting enormous joy out of watching you squirm and suffer. It’s pretty amusing. So, no, to all of it. If you want your daughter, come get her.”
“Where? Summer, where are you? Please tell me. Is Lily okay? Have you been taking care of her?”
“Shut up, Autumn. You’ll see her when you get here. If you get here.” She laughed again. “I don’t think you’ll remember, but where I am? We promised to stick by each other through thick and thin. Forever and always.”
The line went dead, and Autumn stared, shocked, at the phone buzzing in her hand.
“She cut off at fifty-six seconds,” one of the officers said, frustrated. “We didn’t get enough time to get a good trace, but we know it’s from somewhere in the city.”
Nick sighed, a little relieved. At least, they knew Summer wasn’t too far away. “Autumn, what did she say? Did she give you a clue?”
Autumn just stared at the phone. “We promised to stick by each other through thick and thin. Forever and always.” Her breath shuddered out. “That’s all she said.”
Jack gathered her into his arms, his hand stroking her back soothingly. “It’s okay, baby. Take your time and think about what she could possibly mean. Just take your time.”
Autumn clung to him, her mind racing with the possibilities.
Nick felt useless. Worse than useless. There was nothing he could do for her, nothing that she would let him do. After all, with Jack here, there was no need for him, anyway, Nick thought bitterly.
With a glance over his shoulder at Autumn, he pushed aside everyone in his way and left the suite.
Author's Notes:
Eek! Here it is! The big one! I hope you enjoy...only three chapters left after this one...
It took her a while. She locked herself into the bedroom and ignored everyone who tried to get her to open the door and talk to them. Couldn’t they see that she was busy? Couldn’t they see that she was trying to decode Summer’s cryptic message? Why wouldn’t they leave her alone when she was trying to solve the most important thing in her life?
She wished Nick were here. He would’ve demanded that they butt out, and they would have. He had that kind of a presence when it came to her. But he’d stalked off to wherever he had felt like, not caring at all that she might need him or that he should hang around so that they could go get Lily together. After all, Lily probably would want Daddy, wouldn’t she?
Autumn scowled when she realized she was thinking of Nick instead of the message Summer had given her.
We promised to stick by each other through thick and thin. Forever and always.
What the hell had she meant by that? Autumn tried to replay dozens of memories of her childhood years. The years before their parents had died, before Summer’s mind had been warped. As hard as she tried, though, her mind simply couldn’t figure it out.
She and Summer had always sworn to stick together, no matter what, but there had never been a specific place they’d said it. She could remember laying in bed at night and whispering secrets to each other, and then pinky-swearing that they’d never tell because they were sisters. Forever and always.
Summer had always seemed to need that link, that bond more than she had, Autumn remembered. She’d been almost fanatical about never losing each other. They’d even gone so far as to slice open their palms and mix blood, even though they were identical and shared the same blood.
Had her need for space been the catalyst that had pushed Summer to the brink? Autumn stared at her palm where the faintest of lines reminded her of that pact. She’d always been comfortable in knowing that they’d always be together and close, but it had been as though Summer had known the day would come when they would be separated.
“Oh, Summer,” she whispered as she lowered herself to the bed. “Did I miss how much you needed me? Is that why this is happening now? Is that why you are the way you are now?” She wished for an answer to come but knew it wouldn’t.
Was that what she was doing again? With Nick? Autumn stared hard at the scar and hoped it wasn’t. She wasn’t holding anyone at arm’s-length when it came to her emotions. She knew how she felt, Autumn told herself. She was in tune with her emotions, and Nick had been wrong that she was lying to herself about her feelings.
Forever and always.
Her gaze focused on the scar again, and the memory reared up and slammed into the front of her mind.
They stood on the beach in the fading sunlight. Gulls soared and swooped overhead. The silver of the knife flashed in the glow of sun.
Summer lifted the knife and, biting her tongue, sliced open her palm. Blood immediately began to drip from the shallow cut. She handed the knife to Autumn. “Hurry, Autumn! I don’t want us to bleed to death.”
Autumn took the knife and, equally as nervous, she pricked her skin then quickly made the cut, trying not to cry at the pain. The knife fell to the sand between them as they clasped their bloody palms together.
“We’ll always be there for each other. We’ll stick together, no matter what, through thick and thin. Forever and always.” They spoke together, the feeling of being bonded glowing within and around them.
Autumn sat up straight, gasping with the knowledge. Oh, my god. I know where she is.
She dashed out of the bedroom, a crazed gleam in her eye, and headed straight for the door. Jack tried to reach for her, but she was moving too fast.
“Autumn!” Brian grabbed her hand to stop her, but she jerked out of his hold.
“I have to go! I know where she is!” And she kept moving.
The police officers in the room leapt to attention at her words. “Ma’am, you can’t leave! Wait!”
But even they were too slow. Within moments, Autumn was dashing onto the elevator and closing the doors before anyone could grab her. Remembering how Nick had gotten them out the back way, she skipped out the back. Running once she got outside, she sped down three blocks before she stopped to catch a taxi—and her breath.
“Take me to Long Island,” she demanded of the driver. “I know it’s expensive, but I’ll pay you extra if you can get me there in the next half hour!”
The taxi driver grumbled, but the lure of extra money had him stepping on the accelerator and weaving in and out of traffic.
Flopping back in her seat, Autumn started to gather up her energy for what she was sure would be a showdown to remember. She wasn’t sure what she would say, but she hoped that, once the dust settled, everything would be over. For good.
Even as she watched the buildings zoom past her window, Autumn pulled out her phone and sent the text message.
***
Nick showed up in the suite five minutes after Autumn had bolted. The room was abuzz, and there was a lot of yelling and swearing.
There was no Autumn.
“Where’s Autumn?” he asked no one in particular. When none of them heard him, he raised his voice. “Where is Autumn?”
This time, the room grew quiet as everyone turned to find him standing in the doorway, his face pale, his eyes dark. No one said a word.
“I’m going to ask one more time,” he said quietly. “Where is Autumn? Where did she go?”
Brian stepped forward carefully. “Look, Nick. We tried to stop her, we really did. It’s just that-”
“I don’t want excuses. Where the hell is my wife?” His voice rose as panic and fear coated his insides. Something was wrong. “Where’s Autumn?”
One of the officers spoke up. “Mr. Carter, your wife claimed she knew where her sister was, and she left.”
“She was running,” Leighanne added quickly, seeing the fury building on Nick’s face. “None of us could hold her down long enough to find out where she was going or how she knew where to find Summer.”
When Nick just held up a hand, everyone grew silent again. There was something seriously wrong, he thought. He could feel it. Autumn was in danger, she was about to step into a trap. He’d figured it out as he paced the alleyway next to the hotel. Summer would’ve never given Autumn a clue to her whereabouts if she hadn’t had something else in mind. Wherever Autumn was, he knew she was definitely not safe.
“Let me get this straight,” he began. “Autumn just left this room, this hotel with all of you, including several police officers, crowding around here, and not one person could stop her long enough to find out where she was going? Or one of you,” he turned to the officers, “you couldn’t go with her? Follow her?”
“There’s only one elevator, sir. By the time we got to the lobby, she was long gone.”
Nick’s eyes narrowed as the fear bubbling inside him defeated all rational thought and reason. “What the hell kind of training do they give you in that fucking academy of yours? There were probably a bunch of ways you could’ve stopped her, held her off long enough, but you didn’t do anything!”
“Nick-” But Brian was cut off by one look from Nick.
“I don’t care about your excuses! My wife is about to walk into a fucking trap, and not one of you could do anything to prevent it!”
“Look, Nick-” Jack stepped forward but shut his mouth when Nick fixed a deadly stare on him.
“Don’t even talk to me. You’re worse than the rest of them.”
Jack’s hands balled into fists. “Like you’re any better? You just walked out when you should’ve been here. Instead, you go off in a jealous rage.”
Nick lifted his own fist. “Oh, you haven’t seen me rage, yet. But you will.”
Even as AJ and Brian moved to block his way, Nick’s phone rang. He yanked it out of his pocket and flipped it open. “Hello?” Silence. “Hello?” Still silence.
He frowned at it then realized his mistake. “Shit.” Nick pressed a combination of buttons and the message popped up on the screen. When he saw it, his heart began to pound. Not thinking, he headed right back out the door, ignoring the voices calling him back. “I have to go” was all he said over his shoulder. Then, he too was gone.
***
“Where to, lady?” The taxi drove off the bridge onto the island, and Autumn strained to remember where it was her family had once spent three weeks one summer.
“Just stay on this road. I’m pretty sure it’ll be a left turn.” She shut her eyes and tried to play the memory image again. “I’ll know it when I see it.”
As the driver grumbled about crazy people, Autumn continued to scan the scenery, hoping that something would spark her memory. It had been seventeen years since she’d been here, but she hoped she would be able to find something to remind her.
Fifteen minutes later, she spotted the sign for an ice cream parlor, one that had a dancing cow on it, and she remembered. “Turn left here!”
The cab swerved left onto a road that slowly thinned from strip malls and corporate centers to homes and neighborhoods. As they passed an elementary school, Autumn remembered Summer wishing that they could stay on Long Island forever and go to that school.
“At the next light, you have to turn right,” she instructed the driver, and, moments later, he complied.
Two turns later, they drove into a neighborhood lined with single family homes and leafy oaks and maples. If she looked beyond the houses on one side, she could see the beach and the ocean beyond it. Shifting, she studied every house until her eyes lit on one. It was two stories tall with a wraparound porch in white trim. Red brick and white stone made up its structure, and there was a For Sale sign on its neatly trimmed lawn. She knew with certainty that her daughter was inside.
“That one! Right there. Number seven-oh-two.” When the taxi stopped in front, she tossed a wad of bills at the driver and scrambled out, not waiting for the change.
She hurried up the driveway, her heart pounding in her ears. What would she say? What was going to happen? Would Summer try to kill her or would they be able to talk rationally? Autumn secretly feared that Summer was past rationality and that it would come down to a matter of life and death.
Before she knocked on the door, she took out her cell phone once more and sent a final text. She hoped it got her the help she needed badly. It was the only thing she could rely on.
Snapping her cell phone shut, she knocked on the door. When there was no answer, she tried the doorknob and, when it turned easily in her hand, she pushed open the door and walked in.
***
Nick could barely sit still in the taxi. Much as Autumn had, he’d gone out the back entrance of the hotel and hailed a cab a few blocks from where there were, suddenly, way more police cars and reporters than there had been a few hours earlier. Obviously, they’d all heard something important was happening. He had no doubt that the news would leak soon enough.
He just hoped he could make it to wherever on Long Island Autumn was. Her text had simply read: On way to Long Island. Summer’s there. Need you.
Part of him was overjoyed by the fact that she’d called him, was relying on him to help her out. The other part was worried sick that, by the time he found her, it would be too late.
For the first time in a long time, he prayed. He couldn’t lose his family, not now that he’d finally found them. Autumn and Lily had so quickly become the most important people in his life, and he could only pray that they would stay safe until he found them. He knew Autumn was okay, for the time being. If something had happened to her or if she was—he swallowed hard—dead, he would’ve known it. He was sure his heart would’ve stopped beating if she were gone.
When the taxi pulled off the bridge onto Long Island, the driver asked him where he wanted to go.
“Uh, just keep driving on this road.” He needed Autumn to send him another message, let him know where she was. “I’ll tell you when I figure it out.”
“Sure thing.” The driver eyed him in the rearview mirror. There was something familiar about the guy, he thought but didn’t say anything. “You okay?”
Nick stared out the window, his fingers clutching his cell phone tightly. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. As soon as we get to where I need to be.”
Ten minutes later, as they passed the ice cream parlor Autumn had seen, the text came. Nick flipped open his phone and read the message frantically.
702 Bluebird Lane off of Jefferson Highway. Hurry.
Nick rattled off the address to the driver, hoping beyond all hope that he would make it in time.
***
Autumn stepped inside the empty house and cautiously moved into the parlor. The room was bare, and there were lighter patches on the walls where pictures had once hung.
“Hello?” she called out tentatively. Then, louder. “Hello? Summer! Lily? Honey, Mama’s here. Lily, can you hear me?”
She moved from the parlor, past the library, and into the kitchen. Still no sign of anyone. She thought she could smell a faint hint of french fries and hoped it wasn’t her imagination. If someone had recently eaten here, then there was a chance that Summer hadn’t just sent her on a wild goose chase.
Then she heard it. The laugh, the faint, mocking laughter. Spinning away from the kitchen window, she dashed to the front of the house and started up the stairs.
“Summer! Is that you? Look, I came. I did what you wanted, and I came. Please, let me see Lily.” Autumn clenched her hands together as she went up the stairs, deathly nervous of what awaited her.
The hallway was silent and empty as were the first two bedrooms she found. As she stepped back into the hallway from the second bedroom, she froze. “Summer.”
“It took you long enough.” Summer stood at the end of the hallway by the room that they’d shared one long ago summer. There was a triumphant smile on her face, and Autumn suddenly wondered what she’d just walked into. “We’ve been waiting.”
“Look, Summer, I just want Lily. I just want my daughter back, and I swear I’ll give you whatever the hell it is you want from me.” Autumn took one step towards her sister. “Please.”
Summer shook her head. “Did you really think it would be that easy? That you show up, and I give you your kid back and let you win again?”
“Please.” The word was a whisper.
“Why should I?”
“Because I was wrong!” Autumn let the words burst from her. “I was wrong, and you were right. All of our lives, I’ve always been the one who never needed anyone to get by, and you were the one who did. I didn’t see that, and I didn’t realize how it would hurt you when I seemed like I didn’t care.” She gripped her hands together tightly. “I’m sorry for it, and I’ve tried to apologize to you before, but you wouldn’t listen.”
“Apologize?” Summer sneered. “You really think that coming to my apartment and demanding that I stop slandering you was an apology? Wow, sister dearest, you have a lot to learn about apology, and, clearly, I’m the one to teach it to you.”
Autumn shook her head. “I meant it as an apology, and you’re going to have to believe me. Now, please, let me see Lily.”
“No.” But, as soon as she said the word, the sound of Lily’s crying could be heard from the last room, closest to Summer.
Autumn leapt forward. “Lily!”
Even as she headed towards the room, there was a clicking sound…and Autumn froze in her tracks. When she turned her head, she found herself facing the shiny metal of a black gun. Behind it, Summer smirked.
“Not so fearless now, are you?” She gestured with the weapon. “Why don’t you take a few steps back that way? We’re not done talking.”
Gulping down the hot ball of fear lodged in her throat, Autumn complied. As she took one step, then two, back, her eyes stayed on the barrel. She sincerely hoped her sister wasn’t trigger-happy.
“How’s this?” she asked, when she was back to where she’d been standing. “Far enough away?”
Summer lifted the gun and cocked it. “Not quite. But I can fix that.”
Autumn saw the intent in her sister’s eyes and opened her mouth to scream.
The scream never emerged. There was the sound of a gunshot, and then, as if in slow motion, she watched her sister stumble and keel over to the side.
“I don’t think so.” Liz walked into the hallway from the room where Lily’s cries could still be heard. “We’re not finished yet.” She stared at Summer’s body with disgust then turned to Autumn and smiled. “Hello, Autumn. Glad you could join the party.”
***
“Can’t you go any faster?” Nick leaned forward and watched the speedometer hover at fifty. “I’m in a serious hurry. Life or death, buddy.”
The driver didn’t spare him a glance. “Look, pal, I’m going as fast as I can. If you don’t want me to get pulled over for speeding, then you’ll just sit tight. We’re almost there.”
Nick struggled to calm down, to relax, but every muscle in his body was tense. Something was happening, and he was going to be too late to stop it.
***
“Liz? I…What are you doing here?” Autumn tried not to think the worst, but it was quickly becoming obvious that she’d been wrong about a lot of things from the very beginning.
Liz shook her head. “You’re not stupid, Autumn, so don’t play dumb. If you want to go ahead and be shocked that I’m here, that I shot Summer after I helped her kidnap Lily, now would be the time. Later,” she lifted the revolver in her hand. “It might be too late.”
Autumn fought to breathe as the air in her lungs backed up. How could her best friend have been involved in Summer’s scheme? Why had she done it? And why on earth hadn’t Autumn seen this coming?
“You’re my best friend,” she managed to say.
Liz chuckled. “Oh, how foolish you’ve been. You’ve never been my best friend, Autumn. I don’t have any friends. Once upon a time, Summer was, but, well, my feelings have changed.” She touched Summer’s side lightly with the toe of her shoe and seemed pleased when there was no movement. Blood was seeping through the pristine white carpet.
“You…but how? I don’t—I don’t understand.” Shock blurred reason and logic in her mind, and Autumn fought to clear it.
“How did you think Summer figured out where you were? How was it that she had the money to follow you everywhere?” Liz shook her head. “Oh, Autumn, you weren’t even thinking along those lines, were you?”
Autumn’s breath hitched as she realized nothing had been what it seemed. “Why? Why did you do it? Why did you pretend to be my friend, to help my career, to do so much for me if you hated me all along?”
“Oh, well now, I didn’t hate you always.” Liz began to pace as she spoke. “See, I met Summer when she was a freshman and I was a senior in high school. She was so lost, and I needed, well, a minion of my own. She was very helpful to me that year, so, a few years later, when she told me that she had a sister who had always wanted to be an actress, I began to track you down. I followed your trail from your aunt’s home to LA, and then I found you. I’d just started working at the agency and thought, if you were any good, you would be my golden ticket to the top.” She turned and aimed a smile at Autumn. “You were. All that work definitely paid off.”
“That’s how Summer knew how to find me a couple years ago.” Autumn could feel the puzzle pieces falling into place. “You told her where I lived and worked.”
Liz shrugged. “It was the least I could do after she’d led me to a talent like yours. Not my fault she was a junkie by then and couldn’t control her boyfriend. I really was sorry when you were hurt, Autumn.” She paused. “So, fast forward to last year, and we met Nick.” Her eyes frosted over now. “I really wanted Nick, you know. I thought, finally, I’m going to have everything I’ve ever wanted. I fell in love with him and thought that was it. He was it. But you and your sister just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?”
“Summer ratted me out. You didn’t know she was going to do that?” Autumn could no longer hear Lily, and she focused on keeping calm and steady. If she could get the gun away from Liz, she could get to Lily.
“Of course not! I would’ve murdered her if I’d known she was going to do that.” Liz shook her head as she studied the body at her feet again. “Well, better late than never. I let it go, and I figured all the scandal could only do wonders for your career. I just hadn’t realized that Nick didn’t feel the same way about me that I felt about him. I didn’t see that his eyes were on you.”
“You convinced me to marry him. That wasn’t my fault.”
“Did I say it was?” Liz snapped. “You obviously didn’t want to do it, so I thought it would be okay if I let you and Nick get married. There was no danger to our relationship, I thought. But I was wrong. He fell for you, and that was it.”
Autumn swallowed hard at the fury in Liz’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t know that it would hurt you so much. I just—God, Liz, I can’t believe you’ve done all this.”
“You never really got to know me. Our friendship was all about you, you, you. Never me.” Liz smiled slowly. “Well, I got my revenge, didn’t I? I helped Summer threaten you, I planned that surprise party just so she could get into the hotel and snatch Lily, and then I helped her get you here. So I could end it.”
Liz raised the hand with the revolver in it, and, for the second time in the last hour, Autumn found herself looking death in the eye. This time, she was sure nothing could save her.
***
Nick rushed up the driveway, yelling into his phone as he ran. “Yes, 702 Bluebird Lane. Summer Evans has her sister, Autumn, and Lily Evans held hostage there. I’m right outside! Please, hurry!”
He hung up on the emergency dispatcher and pounded on the door. “Autumn! It’s Nick! I’m here! It’s going to be okay!” When the door opened on its own, he bounded into the front hall.
***
Autumn’s fear doubled when she heard Nick’s voice. She saw Liz’s expression change and stopped fearing for her own life. “No! Liz, don’t do it!” But she knew her words wouldn’t change anything. “Nick! Don’t come upstairs! Don’t do it! She has a gun!”
“Autumn!” Nick didn’t care what she said, he was going up those stairs. “Hold on, I’m coming!”
“Please, Liz, don’t hurt him! This is between you and me!” Autumn tried to plead, to beg, but it was too late.
Even as she heard Nick reach the second floor and start down the hallway—damn it, she could hear his breath—Liz’s arm moved. In an instant, there was the sound of gunshots, and Autumn turned, in horror, to see Nick stop, then stumble, and fall backwards.
She was by his side in a second. “Nick, oh god. Nick, don’t die on me.” There was blood seeping through the side of his shirt and high on his chest. His eyelids fluttered. “Nick, come on. Don’t leave me.”
“Autumn.” His hand lifted to her cheek as his pain-filled blue eyes fixed on hers. “I’m sorry. Too late.”
Autumn clutched his hand as tears filled her eyes. “No, damn it, Carter. Stay with me. It’s not too late. Please, Nick. You’re gonna be fine.”
His breathing was labored, and the smell of blood was so strong. “Love you, Autumn. I love you.” And his eyes rolled back in his head.
“Nick!” She shook his hand, his shoulder. “Nick! Wake up! Come on, Nick.” But there was no movement, no response.
It felt as though her whole world had crashed around her, and Autumn wanted to die with him. But, even as her world turned dark and bleak, fury filled her. She leapt up and turned to face Liz.
“How could you?” She spat the words out. “You said you loved him, and then you kill him?” Her voice broke on the last words, but she was still seeing red.
Liz shrugged. “Casualties happen. Now, your turn.”
But, before Liz could move, Autumn sprang on top of her, knocking them both to the ground. She clawed at Liz’s face, and lost her breath when Liz pounded a fist into her face. Neither of them heard the wail of sirens as they scratched, kicked, and rolled over the carpet.
Even as shouts could be heard from below, Autumn managed to roll back on top and slammed Liz’s head into the wall once, then twice. Suddenly, the sound of a single shot filled the air, and both women jerked in response.
As she watched Liz’s eyes widen, Autumn felt her world go black and fade away.
Author's Notes:
Ta-da! I'm seriously on a roll with this story, and it will be finished in the next 18 hours or so LOL Anyway, here's the next chapter! It will be surprising, to say the least, but I hope you enjoy!
Lily wanted her mother. She called for her mama over and over again, but her mother didn’t come. The young doctor in the white lab coat tried to soothe her, hoping that she would calm down.
“Come on, sweetie. Everything’s going to be fine.” He stroked her hair as he settled her into the MRI bed.
They were running MRI and CT scans on her to be certain she wasn’t internally bleeding and hadn’t suffered from some sort of brain injury when she’d been held captive. So far, her X-rays had come back negative for any breaks, and her blood tests were normal. It appeared that her aunt had fed her despite the fact that she’d kidnapped her niece. To the doctors that took care of little Lily Evans, it seemed as though Summer Evans had really hated her sister, but that hatred hadn’t extended to her niece.
“Mama,” Lily cried even as she slid inside the big, white machine. “Want Mama! Daddy! Pease!”
“The poor kid,” one doctor remarked to another. “She’s been through hell and back.”
“I know,” the other replied. “I can’t believe we’re lucky enough to take care of her. Who knew they’d bring her here?”
When the MRI was over, the doctor, who had been personally assigned to watch Lily at all times, lifted her into his arms and stroked her back, murmuring quietly to her. “It’s okay, Lily. We’re going to take care of you.”
He carried her back to the room she’d been assigned to and ran into the resident in charge of Lily’s case.
“How did her tests go?” the resident asked. “Do we have the results yet?”
“Yeah. Blood tests, X-rays, MRI, CT scans look good. I think she’s okay, Doctor.” The younger doctor continued to try to soothe her. “She just needs her mother, now.”
The resident nodded. “Of course. Well, let me do one more examination, and then we can release her to the family.”
Once Lily was thoroughly examined again, she was deemed ready to go home, and one of the nurses dressed her in the clothes that one of her relatives had brought for her. Then, she was carried out to the nurses station.
Brian and AJ waited there, and both snapped to attention when they saw Lily.
“Hey, there, Lily.” AJ smiled when she started babbling at them. “We missed you, too.”
Lily held out her arms to Brian. “Bwi-Bwi!” And practically fell into his arms, crying.
The nurse looked apologetic. “She’s been crying for her parents all through the tests.”
The two men exchanged glances before Brian looked back at the nurse. “So her tests…?”
“Were fine. She’s healthy and suffered from nothing more than separation from her family.” The nurse held out a clipboard with paperwork to him. “I know you’re not her parents or guardians, but, under the circumstances…”
AJ took the paperwork. “Yeah, I don’t think Autumn or Nick would mind.” His voice caught at the end when he thought of Nick. Clearing his throat, he scrawled his signature across the bottom of the forms and handed them back to the nurse. “Thanks so much.”
“No problem. I really hope things work out okay for you.” She held up a lollipop for Lily. “Here you, go, honey. Maybe this will help a little.”
Lily blinked at the sight of the candy, but, when she didn’t reach for it, Brian took it anyway. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he slipped the candy into her hand.
“Thanks. We should get going. Back to the fourth floor.” He smiled at the nurse before carrying Lily back to the elevator, AJ walking beside him. “I’m glad she’s okay.”
“Yeah.” AJ tugged on one of Lily’s curls, making her smile at him. “It’s good to see you again, munchkin.”
Lily held out the lollipop to him. “Take, pease?”
“Aww, you’re going to want that later, kiddo.” AJ curled her fist around the candy. “Keep it.”
Pulling her hand back, Lily laid her head against Brian’s chest with a little sigh. “Mama, Daddy? Pease?”
Brian looked helplessly at AJ. “Sure thing, Lily. In just a bit.”
When she snuggled in closer, Brian tightened his hold on her as though she would, once again, be lost to them. “Love you, Bwi-Bwi an J.”
“We love you, too.” AJ sighed as they climbed aboard the elevator and hit the button for the fourth floor.
Five minutes later, they walked into the waiting room that the hospital had designated for the group. Everyone was either slumped in a chair or paced the room, desperate for news, any news. Brian’s eyes lit on Leighanne sitting in a chair, Baylee asleep in her lap. Next to her Howie and Leigh talked quietly. Across from them, Jack leaned forward in his chair, his hands clenched together tightly. Nick’s siblings had arrived in the five hours it had been since the cops had shown up at the home on Long Island to find three people suffering from bullet wounds. While Nick had been rushed into surgery, his brother and sisters had circled together tightly in the waiting room, praying. Their father was due to arrive in another couple hours.
As AJ settled in a chair next to Leighanne, Brian carried Lily over to the far corner of the room where a lone figure sat staring out the window. Though everyone had looked up when Lily had been brought into the room, no one said anything.
“Autumn?” Brian sat next to her. Immediately, Lily noticed her mother.
“Mama!” She scrambled out of Brian’s arms and into her mother’s.
Autumn clutched her daughter close to her and rocked, tears slipping from her eyes. “Oh, Lily. Oh, I’m so glad you’re okay.” She gripped Brian’s hand. “Thanks for watching out for her.”
“No problem.” He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. “You had to talk to the cops, I know. It’s the least AJ and I could do. The doctors cleared her, said she’s in perfect health.”
“God.” Autumn could feel Lily’s tiny body trembling as she wept into her mother’s shoulder. “It’s okay, baby. You’re with me now. You’re going to be okay, now.”
When Brian had gone back to wait with his family, Autumn continued to rock Lily and stared at the view of the ocean she had from the window. The last five and a half hours had been absolutely surreal for her.
The cops had helped her up and away from Liz’s lifeless body. Apparently, during their struggle, Liz’s fingers had squeezed the trigger, releasing a bullet into her own chest. She’d been dead before Autumn had regained consciousness in an ambulance. Luckily, all she’d suffered were a black eye and a deep cut on her arm that had required six stitches.
An hour after she’d been released from the ER to wait on news of Nick, one of the doctors had approached her with news of Summer. Autumn hadn’t even expected Summer to be alive, but, apparently, she’d lived through the bullet wounds. Unfortunately, or fortunately, she’d died on the table in surgery. Being her next of kin, Autumn had been given custody of the body.
She let her eyes close now as Lily slept in her arms. The sun was beginning to set, another day was ending, and her world seemed even more confused today than it had seemed the day before. Today, her sister and her best friend were dead, and Nick was struggling to live through surgery.
Earlier, one of the doctors had come out of surgery to speak to her. His scrubs had been stained with Nick’s blood, and Nick’s prognosis, he told her, was looking very dim. If he made it through surgery, he would be monitored closely in the intensive care unit. He’d lost a great deal of blood. One of the bullets had narrowly missed his lungs, and the other had seemingly lodged in his liver.
Autumn squeezed her eyes shut and prayed for him to live. He wouldn’t be hovering between life and death if it hadn’t been for her. If he hadn’t cared for her, loved her, he wouldn’t be suffering now, she thought. He would be alive and healthy. But it seemed that everyone she came into contact with suffered.
Her sister had suffered because Autumn hadn’t cared for her enough. Liz hadn’t cared about her at all, but, if Autumn had known better, Liz wouldn’t have been pushed to hurt and kill. Lily had been kidnapped, and it had, once again, been Autumn’s fault for not protecting her child. She wished she could go back to the beginning and make it all different.
But she couldn’t.
***
He was swimming in dark waters. Weightless and free, he pushed through the thick water and wished there were a light that could show him where to go. It didn’t occur to him that he needed to breathe air.
There was a sense of urgency burning in his heart, a need to get somewhere. Fast. Something was not right, and he worried that he wouldn’t get there in time.
When the pain flashed in his chest, his legs stopped moving. His hands clutched at his throat as he fought to breathe past the pain. Suddenly, the water began weighing him down, sucking him in. The burning sensation in his chest spread to his lungs, so that every breath he drew in flashed fire.
Helpless to do anything, the water pulled him down into its deep, dark depths.
***
“Mrs. Carter?”
Autumn’s eyes opened, and she found the doctor she’d spoken to earlier sitting next to her. Immediately, she sat up. “What is it? What’s happened? How’s Nick?” She looked over her shoulder to where everyone else sat, their faces tense as they waited for news.
“Mrs. Carter, you need to relax.” The doctor spoke quietly. “Your husband came through the surgery better than we expected, but that’s not saying much. We managed to remove the bullets and tried to repair his liver. The problem is, he’s lost too much blood, and, though we’ve given him transfusions, it might not be enough. He’s been moved to the ICU where we will observe him constantly. Mrs. Carter.” He placed his hand on hers as his kind brown eyes met hers. “If he can make it through tonight, his chances for living improve from ten percent to almost seventy percent. The next few hours are very crucial.”
Autumn nodded, partly relieved that she hadn’t lost Nick. Not yet. “C-can I see him?”
“We’ll let you know as soon as he’s settled in. We can only allow one person at a time in to see him, and, at the moment, only family.” He glanced around the room at the anxious faces. “I’m sorry, it’ll just be family for the time being.”
Autumn sighed in relief before shaking her head. “This,” she gestured to the rest of the people in the room. “This is his family.”
“Mrs. Carter-”
“Dr. Reynolds. Just about everyone in this room is his family.” She managed to smile at Nick’s siblings. “Those are his siblings, and Howie, AJ, and Brian are his brothers. This is family.”
The doctor considered for a moment before nodding. “All right, then. One of the nurses will take you up to the ICU as soon as he’s been settled in.” He patted her hand again. “He’s a fighter. We nearly lost him on the table, twice, but he pulled through each time. I have high hopes for him.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Autumn waited for the doctor to leave before she buried her face in her hands. He was going to make it. He had to make it. She didn’t even want to consider any other option.
“Autumn.”
She looked up to find Angel standing in front of her. “Angel. Everyone heard, right? He’s hanging on. He’s going to make it.”
Angel scowled, even while tears shone in her eyes. “My brother wouldn’t be in the hospital, fighting for his life, if it weren’t for you. I wish he’d never met you. You’ve done nothing but ruin his life with all of your issues! I never once thought he was completely happy with you, and now look. He could’ve died! He still might. If he does, I’ll never forgive you. Never.”
Leslie and BJ put their arms around their sister, Leslie shooting Autumn an apologetic look. “She doesn’t mean it. She’s upset, we all are.”
“I do mean it!” Angel called over her shoulder as her sisters led her away. “I’ll hate you for killing him!”
Autumn could hear everyone else whispering around her and wondered if they, too, blamed her. She covered her face with her hands and let the sobs pour out. After a while, she felt someone take the seat next to her, but she didn’t look up.
“I’m really sorry about Carter.” Jack’s voice was low as he stroked her back soothingly. “I didn’t really hate him, you know. I guess I was just jealous that he took you away from me.” He sighed. “I can’t believe all this happened the way it did. God, Summer and Liz in cahoots?”
Autumn lifted her tear-streaked face to look at him. “I need him to live, Jack. I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t.”
“He’ll make it. If I was in his position and the woman who loved me was freaking out about me dying, I’d hang on just to keep her heart from breaking.” Jack smiled when Autumn’s eyes widened. “What? You thought I wouldn’t know that you’re in love with the guy?”
She shook her head. “I-I’m not. I care about him. A lot. I don’t—God. I don’t love him.”
Jack cupped her cheek with his hand. “Honey, you hold your emotions way too deep inside of you. This guy is holding his heart out to you on a shiny platter, and you’re denying yourself. Nick deserves better, and so do you. You can deny it all you want, but you’re in love with him. Why else would you be so worked up right now?”
“Jack, I-” But whatever she would’ve said was forgotten when a nurse entered the waiting room.
“Mrs. Carter?”
Autumn stood, Lily still in her arms. “Yes?”
“If you’ll follow me, you can see your husband now.”
Jack took Lily from her and gestured her towards the door. “Go. I’ll take care of her.”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Jack.” She bent to kiss his cheek. “For everything.”
“I owed you. Now go.”
Autumn hurried past everyone but stopped when Brian took hold of her hand. “Autumn.”
She could’ve wept just at the look in his eyes and the looks on everyone else’s faces. “Brian.”
“Tell him…” His voice broke. “Tell him we’re all praying for him. And you.”
Her eyes filled with tears again. “I will.”
When the nurse showed her into Nick’s private ICU room, Autumn stopped in the doorway and just stared. There were so many wires and tubes running into his arms, his nose, the back of his hand. An IV bag dripped clear liquid into a tube running into the vein inside his elbow, and a heart monitor beeped away, recording his heart rate. There were several other machines in the room, but she had no idea what their purpose was. At the moment, she didn’t care. Her eyes were on Nick.
He was so pale, she thought as she took the seat next to his bed. The hospital gown covered the bandages on his wounds. She took his hand in hers and found it was cool. She wished he would open his eyes and talk to her. Say something, anything, just so she would know he was going to be fine.
She’d heard somewhere that talking to unconscious loved ones sometimes brought them back from the edge. Foolish as she felt, she couldn’t stop herself from bringing his hand to her cheek and talking to him.
For a while, she just babbled about how Lily was okay and had been asking for him. She thought he would like knowing that. She told him about how Liz and Summer were both dead, and how strange it was that she was in charge of burying her twin, who’d hated her so much. Then, she fell silent and tried to think of what else to say.
The words burst out of her before she could think them through. “Nick, everyone’s waiting for you to wake up. The guys, Leighanne, Leigh, Baylee. Your brother and sisters are here, and your dad’s supposed to arrive in an hour or so. Brian said Kevin’s on his way out, too. I bet you’ll be thrilled to see him.”
“Nick, I’m so sorry that you’re laying here like this. It was all my fault, from the start. I should’ve never gotten you involved in my life, never allowed you to care for me so much. Part of me wishes we’d never gotten married, but then Lily wouldn’t have a father.” Her voice cracked. “Nick, please, please don’t leave us. Everyone needs you so much. You couldn’t possibly know. They’re all so worried about you.”
There were tears sliding down her cheeks, and one plopped onto his hand. “Don’t leave me, Nick. If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead now. If you don’t make it, I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t think I’ll ever be fine. I’m begging you, Nick. Please hang in there. Please, God, don’t die on me.” She pressed her lips to his hand. “You mean so much to me, more than I thought you ever would. If you wake up, I swear I’ll make everything right again. I’ve screwed up so much, but I’ll fix it if you just open your eyes and let me know that you’ll be fine.”
Squeezing her eyes shut, she clutched his hand and laid her head on the bed next to him.
***
They took turns that night, sitting with Nick, praying for him, asking him to just wake up. At one point, Brian joked that, once Nick had gotten his lazy ass out of bed, Brian was just waiting to beat him in a one-on-one game that was long overdue. AJ swore that if Nick woke up, he’d quit smoking. When Kevin arrived, he simply couldn’t find the words to say and ended up quietly sitting by his bedside, weeping and praying.
Autumn’s turn came around again at about seven the next morning. She told herself to be happy that he’d made it through the night because his chances for living had drastically improved, but she was still terrified that something would go wrong.
Kevin knocked on the window of Nick’s room a half hour later, trying to get her attention. When she spotted him, he gestured her outside.
“Hey, Leighanne sent me.” Kevin let himself reach out and take Autumn’s hand. A small part of him still resented her for causing the trouble that had led to Nick lying in a hospital bed. Nothing that Brian, AJ, or Howie said had yet to completely squelch those feelings. “She said that Lily’s fussing and that she’s crying for you. I think you might need to feed her.”
“Oh.” Autumn nodded, well aware of Kevin’s feelings towards her. “Okay.”
“And someone from the hospital morgue came looking for you. They need you to sign a few forms and decide what you want to do with your sister’s body.” Kevin noticed the flash of pain in her eyes at the mention of her sister and didn’t say anything.
She sighed. It had to be done, and there was no avoiding it. “Uh, well then, I guess I’ll go down and take care of it. Can you sit with Nick?”
“Of course.” Kevin moved towards the door but stopped when Autumn called him.
She tried to blink back tears and didn’t quite succeed. “Kevin, you told me that I would hurt him. All those months ago, you knew that Nick wasn’t safe with me. And you were right. I’m so sorry that I hurt him, that I’m the reason why he’s fighting to stay alive, and I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry. If there was any way that I could go back and change it, I would.”
Kevin didn’t think, just acted. In a second, he’d gathered her into his arms and held her as they both struggled with tears. “Don’t say that. If it were you in there, Nick would’ve never forgiven himself. If something had happened to you, I don’t know that he would’ve ever been okay. He loved you, and he would think he did the right thing by protecting you.” When she lifted her face, her expression was surprised. He kissed her cheek. “You didn’t pull the trigger, Autumn, and you shouldn’t blame yourself. And I shouldn’t blame you either,” he added, finding that it was true.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me,” she whispered, but he shook his head.
“I don’t think Nick would be too happy if I hated the woman he loves.” He smiled a little. “Besides, you’re good for him, despite evidence to the contrary. I’d pick you over any of his other girlfriends in a heartbeat.”
Autumn managed to smile. “Thanks, Kevin. I know how hard it must be for you to see him like that. To know that, if it hadn’t been for me, he would be fine right now.”
“It’s hard no matter what the circumstances,” he replied. “Stop blaming yourself. Anyway, I think you need to go. Lily was screaming by the time I left the waiting room.”
“Right.” Autumn started off down the hallway then turned back to him. “Thanks, Kevin. Really.”
He merely smiled before going into Nick’s room.
***
Almost two hours later, Autumn returned to find the waiting room buzzing with activity. There was cheering, and everyone seemed to be excited.
When Leighanne spotted her, she pulled Autumn into a hug. “Autumn, you’re not going to believe it!”
“What? What is it? Is it Nick?”
Leighanne nodded but before she could speak, Autumn was whirled away by Brian.
“Hey! Did you hear the news?” He grinned and squeezed her into a hug.
Autumn pulled away. “What happened?”
“Nick woke up! It was only for a few minutes while BJ was in there, but he woke up! He’s going to be okay. He knew who he was, what day it was, and he wanted to know if you were okay. He fell asleep before we could tell him you were fine, but,” Brian did a happy dance, “he’s gonna be fine!”
She was crushed in a sea of hugs and kisses by everyone else in the waiting room. Eventually, the room emptied as some people headed back to the hotel to change and get some sleep, and others went up to the ICU to try to see Nick. Autumn settled Lily on her hip, and, stopping at the nurses’ station to leave private instructions, she, too, left the hospital.
***
I’m just trying to figure out
What’s wrong with your head
Every time I look around
You’re somewhere else instead
I want to ask you why
But every time I try, you cry
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jack walked into the bedroom, carrying Lily on his hip.
Autumn folded the last of her clothes and settled them in the box. Pulling out a strip of tape, she closed the box. “Yes, I know what I’m doing. This is what’s best.”
“For who? You?” Jack shook his head. “I think you’re making a big mistake.”
“The biggest mistake I made was getting Nick involved with my life. The best thing I can do for him is to get out of it.” She picked up the box and carried down the stairs. “I know you think I’m crazy, but this is right.”
Jack sighed. “Have you ever thought that maybe the best thing for you, Nick, and Lily is to stay together?”
“Jack, I’ve gone over this a thousand times in my head.” Autumn pushed her hair back into a ponytail. “In a perfect world, we could be a family, but this isn’t a perfect world. If I wait for him to come home, he’ll convince me to stay.”
“He’d be right.”
“Jack.”
And I want you to know
When you’re floating in space
And I want you to know
If you ever come back down
And I need you to know
“I’m sorry, Nick, but she’s gone.” Brian’s expression was grim as he stood by Nick’s bedside. “She cleared out of the hotel before we realized it.”
Nick nodded. He’d been awake for two days, and all he’d wanted was to see Autumn. Now, he was absolutely certain he never would. “It’s okay, Brian. She probably just went back to LA. Lily needs a little stability right now, you know? I bet that’s what Autumn was trying to do.”
“I tried calling her, but she’s not picking up.”
“Her phone might be off. She forgets to recharge it sometimes.” He remembered how many times he’d scolded her to not do that. “It’s no big deal.”
Brian nodded, clearly not convinced. “Okay. I heard the doctors say that you need another surgery.”
“Yeah.” He hated the idea of it but knew there was no way around it. “They have to completely repair my liver. There’s still damaged tissue that needs to be fixed.” He shrugged a little. “It’s not a big deal. Just an hour or two under the knife again.”
“I know how much you hate the idea of surgery.”
Nick met Brian’s eyes and remembered that he’d avoided going to the hospital when Brian had undergone heart surgery. “Yeah, I do. I also know if I don’t get it done, my liver could collapse.”
“So, when’s the surgery?”
“Tomorrow afternoon.” Nick wished Autumn and Lily were here. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so nervous. Maybe then he wouldn’t have this sickening feeling in his gut that nothing was ever going to be right.
“You’ll be fine.” Brian patted his shoulder. “We’re all here for you.”
Nick smiled in response and laid his head back on the pillow. Wishing.
I wanna breathe you
I wanna feel you near
This is my confession
I wanna see what you see
When you cry those tears
Give me just a second
What am I to do?
Maybe it’s obsession
But this is my confession
“Can you buckle her into her car seat?” Autumn fit the last of the boxes into her trunk and turned to Jack. Lily bounced in his arms. “I just need to run inside, do one last check.”
He nodded, still sure that she was making a mistake. “Take your time.”
Autumn walked back into the house. There was no need, she told herself, to feel so empty, broken, and lonely. She and Nick had never really been a real couple anyway. It had all been pretend. Fake relationship, fake marriage. Fake feelings.
I’m in love with you.
She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the sound of Nick’s voice as he told her he loved her. It wasn’t real, he didn’t really love her. She was doing him a favor by leaving.
The last trip through the house was hard. Every room held a memory, and she gathered them all and locked them in her heart. As she passed her bedroom, she spotted the picture frame. She’d had one of the family’s candid shots from the Vanity Fair piece mounted and framed.
Picking it up off the dresser, she studied it for a long time. Then, she carried it to Nick’s room and placed it on his bedside table. It was the only trace she would leave behind that said that she had lived in this house for a few short months.
Part of her wanted to steal one of his shirts, just to have something that carried his scent. It would comfort her on the long nights she knew awaited her.
Forcing herself to be stronger, she took nothing and walked down the stairs and out the door.
I confess
Every time I come around
Something’s always got you down
And I don’t understand why
And if you want to tell me
I’ll be the angel on your shoulder baby
I’ll be the man that you confide in, but I
Can’t seem to run
Get you out of that place
A part of his mind knew that Autumn was out of his reach forever. Even as he lay in a bed three thousand miles away, he knew that she was putting thousands more miles between them. He’d been so close to having it all, the family, the love, the perfect life, and then, in a fingersnap of time, he felt it slipping away from him.
The doctors told him he was going to be fine, that his recovery was going much better than they’d expected. The news stations and entertainment shows ran stories about the whole fiasco, and he made himself listen to every detail. When they flashed pictures of Autumn and Lily on the screen, he memorized every detail of their faces again, as though it was the only time he’d ever see them.
Perhaps, somewhere deep inside, he already knew the truth.
I wanna breathe you
I wanna feel you near
This is my confession
I wanna see what you see
When you cry those tears
Give me just a second
What am I to do?
Maybe it’s obsession
But this is my confession
Lyrics from “My Confession” Nick Carter
Author's Notes:
We're so close to the end, and I want to thank you all for sticking by this story for the last 18 months! Enjoy this chapter, and I'll post the ending by Tuesday!
Nick spotted them when he arrived at the baggage check. AJ lifted a hand to wave to him, and, relieved to see that someone had come to pick him up, Nick ambled over to where AJ stood with Howie and Brian.
“Hey! Boy, am I glad to see you guys!” He smiled and knew it was true. During the last four days of his two and a half weeks of hospital stay, everyone but the nurses and doctors had deserted him. It felt good to see a familiar face.
Brian patted his back carefully. “We couldn’t wait to see how you were. Do you feel okay? Are you tired? Do you want to sit? You should sit. Let’s go find you a chair while we get your bags.”
“Brian!” AJ shook his head. “Dude, he’s not falling over. I’m sure he feels fine.” But AJ’s eyes were trained on Nick’s face, looking for the smallest signs of pain or discomfort.
“Guys, seriously. I feel fine. My side started to hurt a little with all the sitting. Six hours on a plane is obviously a bad idea when you’ve got a recovering liver.” He cracked a smile when the guys continued to look serious. “Lighten up! I’m the one who got shot, not you. If I say I’m fine, it’s because I am.”
After one long look, Howie nodded. “Okay, we’ll get your things then. You’re not allowed to lift anything,” he added.
“Okay, boss.” Nick did a little salute that made Howie roll his eyes. The first, and heaviest, of his two bags came around on the conveyor belt, and he watched Brian struggle with it. When Brian made no snarky comments about Nick packing like a girl, Nick frowned. They were taking things too seriously. He was fine now, wasn’t he? Why were they still treating him like an invalid? “Wow,” he began. “I should get shot all the time if this is the kind of royal treatment you guys give me.”
“Nick!” AJ looked angry. “Don’t joke about it! You almost died, and now you want to make it all out to be some funny joke? It’s not funny!”
“Nope.” Nick nodded. “It’s not funny, but I’m alive. I’m alive, and I’m feeling a billion times better. I’m not going to feel all that better if you guys act like I’m still dying or something.”
Brian’s eyes narrowed. “Well, excuse us for worrying and caring about you. Obviously, you don’t need our help.” He gestured to the suitcases rolling around on the belt. “Go ahead and get your next bag. Since, you know, you’re fine and can do it yourself.”
Nick scowled but, when he bent to grab his last bag, Howie stopped him. “Nick. Don’t. Look, we’re your friends. We love you, and we care about you. I guess we have been a little too nervous because we did almost lose you.” He glanced at AJ and Brian. “Maybe we could try backing off a little. But only if you let us take care of you for a little longer. We need to do it,” he added.
“Fine,” Nick said after a moment. “Thank you, Howie, for being so reasonable instead of yelling at me.”
“Hey-” AJ and Brian both began and were cut off by Howie’s glare.
“Drop it.” Then, Howie bent and grabbed Nick’s bag. Heaving it off the conveyor belt, he shot Nick a disgusted look. “What the hell did you pack in here? Bricks?”
When Nick began to giggle and then full out laugh, the other three exchanged glances. Had Nick lost his marbles with all the chaos the past few weeks had been? Or had there been weird side effects of the two surgeries he’d undergone? None of them knew what was so funny, but they shrugged it off.
Nick stopped laughing when a small group started gathering near where they stood. It was mostly young women, but there was one man in the group, too.
“Um, Nick Carter?” One of the girls, seemingly a teenager, approached him. “Wow, I didn’t think I’d ever get to meet you in person.”
Nick figured he should’ve known that his hat wouldn’t have disguised anything. He managed a friendly smile for her. “Well, stranger things happen every day. It’s always nice to meet a fan. What’s your name?”
Within seconds, the group had descended on Nick, and Howie, AJ, and Brian were completely overlooked. Nick was bombarded with questions about the kidnapping, about his surgeries, and, of course, Autumn.
“Where’s Autumn?” One of the girls looked around, as though Autumn were hiding somewhere. “Isn’t she with you?”
Nick shook his head. “Nah, she went back home with Lily. It’s been a couple weeks actually.”
“She just left? While you were in the hospital?” another young women asked, incredulously. “How could she do that?”
“She didn’t have to stick around,” Nick tried to explain.
“Of course, she did!” The young man spoke up now. “It’s like the rule! If someone you love is in the hospital, especially if it’s your husband or wife, you’re supposed to take care of them. Why would Autumn just leave you like that?”
Nick wanted to tell them that Autumn didn’t exactly love him, but he knew he couldn’t. “We wanted Lily to get back to normalcy in her life, you know? Staying in a hotel or in the hospital was not a good idea, so Autumn took her back home. The guys came to pick me up, so we can head back to my place to see Autumn and Lily.” He gestured to his friends, who managed smiles and waved at the crowd.
Some fans migrated from Nick to the other Boys, but the rest stayed and demanded better reasons than Nick had for why Autumn hadn’t stuck by his side the way he’d stuck by hers.
“After all, you got hurt dealing with her sister. The least she could do is show some gratitude,” one of the women said.
Nick never loved Brian more than he did at that instant when Brian came swooping in to save the day. He grabbed Nick’s arm and smiled at the women. “Sorry, ladies! We’d love to stay and chat, but we gotta go! There’re some pretty important people waiting for him. It was great to meet all of you, though.”
“Yeah,” Nick echoed and, smiling and waving, let himself be pulled away.
In the car, Nick laid his head back and sighed. “Thanks for saving my ass in there, Brian. I didn’t think they’d be so pissed that Autumn left me at the hospital.”
“Please.” AJ rolled his eyes in the back seat. “All the news people kept saying how you’d tried to save Lily and Autumn and almost died in the process. They made you out to be a real saint, Nick.” He paused. “Get it? Huh? Saint Nick? Like Santa Claus?” He cracked up at his own joke.
Now it was Howie’s turn to roll his eyes. “Ha ha. But he’s right, Nick. Everyone’s suddenly a Nick Carter fan, so they probably feel really offended that Autumn didn’t stick around to kiss your feet.”
Nick wiggled his toes in his shoes. “My feet are pretty gross. She probably wouldn’t want to kiss them anyway.”
“Nick, that’s disgusting!” Brian made a face as he navigated his car through busy traffic.
“What? It’s true.”
“And to think we all actually thought that coming back from the edge of death would change you,” Howie scoffed in the back seat.
Nick turned around, looking insulted. “Hey! That was mean! I did too change. You guys are just mean and don’t understand me.”
“Right.”
When they turned onto his street, Nick’s stomach began to fill with butterflies. He was definitely nervous about seeing Autumn again. Would things be different between them with everything that had happened? He was almost certain that they would. She would’ve withdrawn behind a wall that he wouldn’t be able to get past. Knowing her, she would feel guilty about his injuries, and she would probably keep him from getting too close to her again.
Well, she’d better think again, Nick decided. He wasn’t letting her get away. Not without a fight. He’d felt hopeless in the hospital, but his resolve was strengthening again. Now, more than ever, he knew he would have to fight to keep from losing her.
Brian pulled through the gates of Nick’s house and stopped at the bottom of the driveway.
“Why’d you stop?” Nick asked.
In response, Brian turned to AJ, who handed him a folded bandanna. “It’s a surprise, Nick. I have to blindfold you, so turn around.” When Nick just stared at him, Brian waved the blindfold in Nick’s face. “Let’s go, Nick! I ain’t got all day.”
Rolling his eyes, Nick shifted, allowing Brian to tie the blindfold on. In the dark now, he felt the car move again and, when it stopped, he fumbled for the door handle. AJ leapt out and helped him walk to the door.
“What’s going on, guys? Is this going to be some silly-”
“SURPRISE! WELCOME HOME, NICK!”
Nick whipped off the bandanna and stared, shocked, at everyone gathered in the front hall. His siblings, his father, Leighanne and Baylee, Kevin, Kristin, and Mason, Leigh, Chris, and a few of the management crew he was friends with all grinned at him gleefully.
“Wow!” He smiled hugely. “Thanks, everyone!” He turned to the guys, who’d followed him in. “You kept this a secret the whole time?”
Howie shrugged. “Of course! We thought you deserved the welcome home party.”
At the words “welcome home,” Brian sang, “Welcome home you! I know you by name, how do you-”
“Okay! I get it!” Nick shook his head. “This is great!” But, even as everyone gave him hugs and asked how he was feeling, his eyes scanned the room.
“Nick!” Leslie threw her arms around him. “Glad you’re feeling better! Does it still hurt?”
Nick shrugged. “Not too much. I don’t think I can handle alcohol for a long time because of my liver, but I feel better than I thought I would.” His eyes searched the room again.
Leslie noted that his gaze kept wandering. “Listen, Mom couldn’t come. She, uh, said some stuff that wasn’t too great about you and Autumn. But, she decided it was best that she not come. Sorry, Nick.”
He kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry about it. I bet I know what she said, and I’m glad she’s not here. Too bad me almost dying didn’t change her at all.”
“Nick-”
“Look, we’re going to celebrate today, Les. So let’s not let any negative stuff get in the way, okay?”
She nodded. “I love you, Nick, and I’m glad we didn’t lose you.”
Nick had to agree. He wasn’t quite ready to give up on life yet, either. After searching the kitchen and a few other rooms, he frowned. “Hey, guys?”
Everyone looked over at him. “What is it, Nick?” Howie asked. “Is something wrong? You feeling okay?”
“Yeah. I was just wondering where Autumn and Lily are?” He glanced at the stairs. “Is Autumn putting Lily down for a nap?”
No one said anything, but their expressions turned somber. Fear filled him then. They didn’t have to say it, but he could see it in their eyes.
“No,” he whispered, not wanting to believe it. “No. No, no, no.” Terror gripped him, and he dashed up the stairs, hoping beyond all hope that he’d find his wife and child in the nursery.
Every room was empty. In the nursery, the toys were all stacked neatly, but, when Nick opened the chest of drawers, Lily’s clothes were gone. Panicking, he rushed down the hall to Autumn’s room.
The instant he walked in, he knew she was gone. All of her cosmetics, the little pots and tubes, were gone. There were no random pieces of clothing tossed haphazardly over the chair, in a corner on the floor, or piled up on her bed. He tossed open the closet doors and felt his heart break.
It was empty.
Nothing.
Nick sank to the floor, curling into a ball. Autumn and Lily were gone. He could still smell the perfume that Autumn always wore, but the scent was faint. Why? Why had she left him like this? She’d known how he felt about her, but she’d still disappeared. He’d expected her to distance herself from him, emotionally, not physically. How could he fight for her, for them, if she’d already cut him off?
His heart felt as though it had shattered into thousands of tiny shards, and he didn’t know how he’d ever repair it.
Slowly, he walked back down the stairs. “She’s gone,” he said quietly to no one in particular. “They’re both gone. Just like that.”
“Nick, I’m sorry.” Kevin stepped forward and put his arm around Nick’s shoulders. “Kris and I dropped by to see her last week, but there was no one around.”
Nick blinked back tears and cleared the ball of emotion clogging his throat. “Did she tell anyone where she was going? Have any of you heard from her?”
There was silence.
“I called Sherrie, her publicist,” Leighanne volunteered. When Nick’s eyes whipped to her, Leighanne managed an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Nick. Autumn just sent her an email, saying that she needed to get away. She didn’t say where she was going or for how long. That’s all anyone knows.”
Kristin spoke up. “Kevin and I did find a letter addressed to you, though.” She dug through her bag and pulled out an envelope.
Nick snatched it out of her hand. On the front, his name was clearly scrawled in Autumn’s handwriting. “Where was this?”
“Taped to the front door,” Kevin told him. “Maybe you should read that in private.”
Nick stared at the envelope. Maybe the letter held the answer to where she was, but he wasn’t stupid. Autumn wouldn’t have left him a single clue as to how to find her. She didn’t want to be found. Especially not by him.
“Yeah.” He stuck the letter in his pocket and managed a smile for everyone. “I’ll read it later. Right now, we should have a good time. All of you showed up because you’re glad I’m okay, and I didn’t mean to make everything depressing.” He sighed a little. “So, where’s the food?”
When everyone began to chuckle, Kevin squeezed Nick close. “Trust you to think of your stomach first.”
Not first, Nick thought as the letter weighed heavily on his heart, his mind, and his pocket. Autumn and Lily were the first things on his mind. The first chance he got, he was going to read it. Then, maybe he’d find some balance.
***
So I lie awake another hour
Just like the one before
The shadows play a game with my head
I can’t take this anymore
I hear the sound of my own breathing
It makes me miss you more
Wake me up when it’s over
After the ending
When the damage has all been done
I don’t wanna be somewhere
Where you can watch me as I bleed
Just leave me here in pieces
Late that night, Nick sat out on the back patio next to the pool. Moonlight shimmered on the surface of the pool, and he stared at the reflection. He’d read Autumn’s letter almost an hour earlier, and he felt no better than he’d felt when he’d found she was gone.
He turned his head to look at the picture frame that he’d found on his bedside table. At least, he thought, she’d left him that much. It gave him a small glimmer of hope that she’d felt something for him because it was the picture of the three of them together. It had been her favorite, and, secretly, he’d adored it, too.
Now, it was all over.
He held up the letter to read it once more in the glow of light from the house.
Dear Nick,
I know you’re probably going to be angry with me as you read this, but I’m doing what I have to do. I’ll be forever grateful to you and eternally in your debt for the fact that you went to such lengths to help Lily and me. You almost died, Nick, and I would’ve never forgiven myself for having a hand in it.
I have to go away, I need some space. So much has happened in the last several months, and I just need some time to think. Lily and I will be fine, though I know she’ll miss you like crazy. I know this is going to hurt you, but I know you’re better off without us. If there was any other way…Well, there’s not.
You mean so much to me, and the last thing I want is to hurt you more. I know I’d do that if I stayed, which is another reason why I’m leaving.
Nick, you know, somewhere deep down, that this is for the best. Please, please be happy and safe. I wish you all the best and will never forget you.
Yours,
Autumn
Nick crumpled the paper in his hand and, with a frustrated string of curses, he ripped it to pieces. As the shreds of paper drifted into the pool, he opened his clenched fist. In his palm lay the rings he’d given Autumn. The bronze ring with its mother of pearl lily and emerald center and the matching bronzed wedding band gleamed in the dim light. He couldn’t throw them away, and he knew it.
There were going to be some definite changes in his life, he thought, but he wasn’t going to toss out the rings he’d found next to the picture frame. They were all he had left to remind him of what had been. It would take him a lifetime to get over Autumn, but he knew there was no point in waiting for her.
If there was one thing he’d learned about her, it was that she always did what she meant to do. Always.
***
I can't take the chance
Of running into
You running into me
So lock the door
And close the window
I just wanna see
Until the day
Inside my future
When I'll be on my feet
Maybe it was running, Autumn thought, but she didn’t care. She was through with hurting the people who mattered to her. Maybe she’d hurt Nick by leaving him, but it was the last time that she would hurt him. Who knew how he would have suffered if she’d stayed?
Besides, he seemed to be moving on. In the past month and a half, she’d heard that Nick had returned to Tampa to recuperate, and the other Backstreet Boys had done radio interviews in which they assured everyone that he was doing well. And he was. Hadn’t she seen the interview he’d done for Access Hollywood for the Unbreakable promotions the week before? He’d looked healthy, happy, and had obviously moved on. Of course, the interviewer had asked about her, and he’d responded by saying that they were both moving on from each other.
“It was great while it lasted,” Nick had said, “but, after the dust had settled, we realized we had different goals in mind.”
“So this isn’t because of the kidnapping?” the reporter asked.
Nick shook his head. “Of course not. All that was crazy and surreal, but it’s over now. What happened between Autumn and me was inevitable. We got married so fast that we didn’t really think it all through. There were stars in our eyes, but, once they cleared, well, that was it. We’re still on good terms, though,” he added.
Oh, yes, Autumn thought. They were on great terms because she’d left them no choice but to be on silent terms. Which was great.
She caught herself staring out the window and blinked back to the present. There were dishes to be done before Lily woke up from her nap. These days, Lily was running her ragged. The only peaceful time Autumn had was when her little girl was sleeping.
As she moved around the kitchen, gathering up the dirty dishes and dumping them in the sink, her gaze landed on the thick envelope that sat on the worktable. It stood out from the rest of the mail and paperwork surrounding it because of what it held. It had arrived nearly a month before, and Autumn couldn’t bring herself to take care of what it entailed.
Her lawyers had known that she’d moved to Monterey, north of Los Angeles, and far enough away from Hollywood to assure that no one would come looking for her there. So, when they’d received the paperwork from Nick’s lawyer, they’d sent it to her immediately.
Divorce papers, Autumn thought. She still couldn’t believe it, though she’d known it was inevitable that she would receive them. For all his talk about loving her, Nick sure had been quick to file for divorce. Of course, that had been all over the news, too, along with the fact that no one seemed to know where she was.
Autumn Evans had disappeared, and she quite simply wished that people would stop talking about her. It would make it easier on her to give up the lifelong dream that she’d just reached. She couldn’t go back, and she knew it. Acting had been a dream come true, but she wasn’t sure she could handle the lifestyle again. Not after everything that had happened.
Now, she thought, the only way to completely get away from it was to sign the damn papers. Then, she would have completely cut all ties with that world, that life.
Brushing away the tears that clung to her lashes and slid down her cheeks, she turned away from the envelope. She’d wept for hours when it had arrived, and she refused to put herself through that again. Whatever she and Nick had had was over, and she’d made sure of it.
When the phone rang, she reached for it as she began to load the dishwasher.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Evans.” It was the security guard at the gates to her neighborhood. “You have visitors here to see you. You hadn’t mentioned that there was anyone coming, so I thought I’d call ahead and clear it with you.”
Visitors? Autumn frowned. “Thanks, Don. Who are they?”
“There’s a Mr. Richardson and a Mr. Littrell.”
Autumn’s heart bounded into her throat. “Uh, that’s fine. Clear them in, please.”
“Sure thing.”
Setting the phone down, Autumn sank into a chair. How had they found her, and why had they come? She didn’t know, and she could only imagine the words they would say to her. She’d hurt Nick, and they must hate her for it.
The doorbell rang, and Autumn hurried to open the door. Kevin and Brian stood on her porch, their faces expressionless.
“Kevin, Brian!” She sounded breathless and nervous and she knew it. “What—I mean, come in. Uh, this is a surprise.”
They followed her into the house and sat on the couch across from her. For a few moments, no one said a word.
Then, Kevin broke the silence. “So, how are you? How have you been? We barely saw you after everything happened, and then you disappeared. No one really knew how you were doing.”
Whatever she’d thought he would say, the last thing she’d expected was for Kevin to ask how she was and be seriously concerned about her, too. “Uh, I’m okay. I’ve been better, but being away from the city has definitely worked wonders for me.”
“How’s Lily? Is she around?” Brian asked, his eyes studying her face.
“She’s napping. She’s been so active lately that the only way I get any peace is when she’s conked out.” Autumn managed a smile when they both continued to look solemn.
“So she’s okay then? No lingering trauma or side effects from the kidnapping?” Kevin wondered.
Autumn shook her head. “Nope. It surprises me constantly, but she’s fine.”
“And you?” Brian asked again. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. No.” She sighed. “I’m as good as I’ll get.”
Kevin leaned forward, his eyes on hers. “But you could be better.”
“Sure, I could. If I went back a year and didn’t have to worry about all the things I’ve done that have hurt the people I care about.” Then, because she couldn’t hold it in, she blurted out, “How’s Nick? Is he okay?”
The cousins exchanged a look before Brian spoke. “He’s doing as well as can be expected. He bounced back from his injuries better than anyone expected. Physically, anyway. Emotionally, mentally? Not so much.”
“You destroyed him by leaving the way you did,” Kevin continued. “If you’d just stayed and talked things through with him-”
“He would’ve convinced me to stay, and he wouldn’t be okay.” Autumn shook her head. “I couldn’t stay.”
Brian reached out and gripped her hand. “Autumn, he’s doing horribly. He’s just not Nick anymore. He says he’s fine, but he’s not. There are times when one of us finds him just staring off into space, and he won’t talk to any of us. He’s closed himself off, and it’s painful to see him like that.”
“No.” Autumn tugged her hand away. “No, that’s a lie. I saw him, on TV, last week. He was fine, better than fine. You’re just lying.”
Kevin shook his head. “Autumn, you of all people should know that a good actor can hide his true feelings behind a perfectly believable mask. He’s not the same.”
“So you came all this way to tell me that? What, did you want me to feel guilty?” She stood and began to pace. “Well, I do feel guilty. I feel guilty that Nick ruined his life trying to protect me. He was nearly killed by my best friend! We all know he would be fine if he’d never gotten involved with me.”
“I don’t think so,” Kevin replied calmly. “Nick loves you, and, loving you, his life was much better. Believe me, I know. We came because we wanted to convince you to come back. To see him. Even if it’s one last time. If for nothing else than to give both of you a sense of closure.”
When she just shook her head, Brian stood and, gripping her shoulders, looked her in the eye. “Why did you leave him, Autumn? Why couldn’t you have just waited a while longer? If he meant nothing to you, you could’ve hung around a little longer. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Autumn pulled away from him. “I can’t tell you. I can’t.” Her voice was a broken whisper as tears began to spill down her cheeks. “There are some things that I can only say to Nick. I can’t tell you.”
“Then tell him,” Brian said gently. “Please, for his sake, just tell him. Let him move on with his life, Autumn.”
Kevin stood now, too. “If you cared for him at all, you owe him an explanation. Until you do, neither of you will be able to go on with your lives. So think about it, Autumn. Do you really want to condemn both of you to miserable lives? Or do you want more for yourself and for Nick?”
She said nothing as they stood quietly for a few moments, studying her. Then, they hugged her, murmured goodbye, and moved to the door.
At the door, Brian stopped and turned back to her. “Oh, and one more thing. The necklace you’re wearing?” He waited until she lifted her hand to touch the birthday present Nick had given her at the beginning of the summer. She’d been unable to part with it and never took it off. “Nick picked out that stone specifically for you. You should find out what it is. It might help.” With a last smile for her, he left.
When the door shut behind him, Autumn gripped the necklace in her fingers and couldn’t think. Sinking into an armchair, she rocked herself as her mind whirled.
If you want you can find me
On the dark side of the sun
Babe I don’t wanna see what we've become
The damage has all been done
Lyrics from “In Pieces” Backstreet Boys
Author's Notes:
Ta-DA! We have finally made it to the ending of the Nick and Autumn saga! Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and enjoyed this story. It has come as far as it has because you all believed in it and pushed me to finish it. So, thank YOU. And now, without further delay, I present...The Ending.
She didn’t know what she was doing, but she was doing it anyway. She was not going to talk herself out of this one. She was just going to do it.
There was a huge possibility that he wasn’t home, a little voice in her head whispered. After all, the new album was only a week from release, so he could be anywhere.
Shut up, she told that voice. If she didn’t go now, if she didn’t see him now, she might just lose her nerve. And her spine.
Autumn didn’t let herself think but simply drove down one road, then the next, until she reached her destination. Pulling up in front of the house, she rang the buzzer. When there was no answer, as she’d expected, she tapped in the security code to open the gates. When the system gave her an error code, she frowned. She tried it again, and, again, she was informed that it was the wrong one.
Oh, god, did he just lock me out of our home? Autumn wondered frantically. Grabbing her phone, she called the security company.
When she’d explained her problem to the woman in charge, she was told that she was not on the classified list that the homeowner had given the company. Therefore, she was not permitted to receive the code.
Autumn hung up and laid her head on the steering wheel. In the backseat, Lily played cheerfully with her toys, and, in the front, her mother had a tiny breakdown.
“He locked me out,” she whispered to herself. “First, he sends me divorce papers, then he locks me out of our home. Damn it.” She sat up and pounded a fist on the dashboard, making Lily quiet down and watch her mother curiously. “Damn it! He can’t do that to me! To us! What the hell is he thinking? What is he smoking?”
She stared up at the house on the hill and wished she could climb the fence and get inside. “Imagine how that would sound on TV. ‘Autumn Evans tries to break into almost ex-husband’s home.’ I’d be…” she trailed off, remembering. “Crap. I’d be like his psycho mother.”
“Damn,” Lily enunciated from the backseat.
Autumn turned around, and Lily gave her an innocent smile. “Oh, don’t you start on me, too.” But she smiled back and tickled Lily, making her giggle. “No more cursing in front of my baby, right, Lily?”
“Nope.” Lily’s eyes sparkled with humor, and Autumn wanted to cry.
“You remind me of Nick, now. Oh, jeez, did he rub off on you that fast?”
Lily didn’t understand, so she didn’t reply. Instead, she looked out the window. When she saw their old home, she squealed. “Mama! Daddy! See Daddy!”
“No, baby.” Autumn studied the house one more time. If it was the last time she was to see it, she wanted to treasure it. But, as her gaze swept over the expansive and well-tended lawns, her eyes caught on the sign on the edge.
For Sale.
She nearly went through the roof on that one. Now, she was panicking. He was selling their home. The house that they’d lived in together. He was just going to let go of everything that had ever been theirs. He’d said he loved her, but, here Nick was, getting rid of the home that had been theirs.
“Hell, no.”
She fished her cell phone out of her bag and frantically went through her phone book, trying to figure out who to call. When she’d been in the “I’m leaving Nick for good” phase, she’d deleted his number. So, now, she called AJ, Howie, and Brian’s numbers, but there was no response. Her panic level inched higher.
Finally, she hit on the perfect person to call.
“Hello?”
“Leighanne! Hi.”
There was a pause and then, “Autumn? Autumn Evans, is that really you?”
“Y-yeah. It’s me.” She felt the urge to shuffle her feet nervously. “How are you?”
“Me? Oh, I’m just fine and dandy. How the hell are you? It’s been six weeks since Brian and Kevin went to see you, and now you decide to call?” Leighanne sounded perplexed and annoyed at the same time.
Autumn sighed. “I know, and I’m sorry. I just needed a little bit of time to get my head on straight.”
“And is it?”
“I’m back in town, aren’t I? It’s definitely on straight.”
“You’re in LA? Damn it, Autumn.”
“What? Why?” She sat up in her seat. “Did something happen?”
Leighanne sighed. “It’s just that the guys are off in Europe, and Baylee and I are in Atlanta right now. You picked a stellar time to show up.”
“Leighanne, did you know he’s put our house up for sale?” Autumn’s eyes fixed on the sign again, and she swallowed the urge to cry.
“Oh, honey. I didn’t think you’d go by the house and see that.” There was a pause. “I’m really sorry, Autumn. I think I heard Nick say that someone had already given him a great offer.”
“What?” Her breath caught. “No, he can’t do that! My name’s on that deed, too!”
Leighanne was quiet for a few moments. “Does this mean that you want Nick back?”
“No! Yes! No…I don’t know. I just know that I came here to talk to him, not knowing what to say, but I figured it would come to me when I saw him. But, now, I can’t even get into the house, and he’s selling it!” Autumn’s voice shook. “Leighanne, I screwed up. I keep doing everything wrong, and I don’t know how to fix things. To make things right with Nick.”
“Well, for starters, you need to actually see him.”
“I know.” Autumn turned her head to see Lily playing with her teddy bears. “But he’s obviously far away. And busy. I don’t want to mess stuff up for the album premiere.”
Leighanne thought for a moment. “You’re not busy next Thursday night, are you?”
“N-no. Why? What’d you have in mind?”
Leighanne quickly explained her idea, and, when Autumn had reluctantly agreed, Leighanne promised to send her directions.
“Thanks, Leighanne. Really. You’re a lifesaver.” Autumn felt slightly relieved, knowing that, even if she had to wait until next week, she wouldn’t chicken out on seeing Nick. After all, Leighanne would kill her if she did.
“No problem. You need to go home and pamper yourself for a week. You better look fabulous next week!”
“I’ll try,” Autumn chuckled. “I have to go. I’ll probably be given a ticket for loitering in this neighborhood when I obviously don’t live here anymore.” She sighed. “I’ll see you soon!”
“Definitely.” Leighanne crossed her fingers and toes. “And do not, under any circumstance, talk yourself out of doing this. You owe yourself and, more importantly, Nick. Do this, and both of you will be better off for it.”
Autumn bit her lip. “Even if we don’t get back together.”
“Yeah.” Leighanne sighed. “Even if you don’t. But that’s up to you. You know what Nick wants, but now you have to figure out what you want.”
What she wanted, Autumn thought later as she drove towards Sherrie’s home. What she wanted was as murky as the Mississippi River after a flood. It was a mess.
***
Since you drained all the color
Out of the sky
How am I supposed to feel?
It’s like I’m living in somebody else’s life
Tell me it’s not real
I can’t imagine it any other way
A world without you is only wasted space
You’re gone and
I’ll always wonder
Why it can’t be
Any other way
Nick flipped through the pages of the contract, not seeing a single word that was written on the sheets of paper. All he could think was, This is it. If I sign this, it’ll really be over.
“Mr. Carter? You did receive the contract, didn’t you?” The real estate agent waited impatiently on the other line. “Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez would really like to have the paperwork filed by the end of tomorrow. They’re very eager and excited to move into their new home as soon as possible.”
Nick licked his lips nervously and wondered what to do. The agent had faxed the paperwork to the hotel in New York City because the buyers desperately wanted his home, but he was no longer sure that he was making the right decision by selling it. “Mr. Bradley, I need time to fully read through everything, and I just don’t have the time right now. Tomorrow is a very important day for me, and I’ve been pretty busy.”
“Mr. Carter, I’m fully aware that you have a new project being released tomorrow and that you’re very busy, but surely you don’t need that much time? You already know what they’re offering you for the property.”
“I know what they’re willing to pay,” Nick snapped, his patience wearing thin. “I just need you to give me a little time, and I promise I’ll take care of it.”
There was a short silence on the other end. “Fine. You have until Friday, Mr. Carter. Please read it carefully and get the paperwork to me as soon as you can.”
Nick rolled his eyes and hung up. He tossed the packet of papers onto the dresser in his hotel room and flopped back onto the bed. To say he was exhausted was a huge understatement. He was drained of every bit of energy he had. It had taken far too much effort to walk around happily, convincing everyone that he was fine, that he was back to normal. That he didn’t miss Autumn and Lily so badly it felt as though there were a hole inside him that would never be filled.
He’d filed for divorce as soon as he’d been able to, and part of him wished he hadn’t. He hadn’t heard back from his lawyer yet on whether or not the signed papers had been filed. Whether he was married or not.
Nick raised his left hand to study the glint of the ring still on his finger. Autumn may have been able to easily discard her wedding ring, but he hadn’t been able to. Not yet. He wore her rings on a chain under his shirt all the time and knew it was pathetic that he did so. He just couldn’t help it.
None of the guys had remarked on the fact that he still wore his ring, but he knew that they wanted to just give him space. They didn’t want him to break down in the middle of the album release week. Everyone was already under so much stress, and Nick knew he was close to the end of his supply of strength.
Closing his eyes, he tried, for the millionth time, to erase the image of Autumn from his mind. It didn’t work.
It never would.
***
Club Opera was bustling. There were dozens of cameramen and reporters hanging around outside the entrance, waiting to capture a glimpse of the Backstreet Boys and the other celebrities that had shown up to support them for their LA Unbreakable release party. Nick’s initial plan to marry Autumn and skyrocket the Backstreet name through the roof had worked. Tragedy and the impending divorce had added an irresistible allure, and the Hollywood media hounds were straining at the bit for every last piece of information they could get about the Backstreet Boys, Nick Carter, and the elusive Autumn Evans.
Inside, Nick wished he were anywhere but under the attention of everyone and anyone that had shown up. People still asked after his health and the whereabouts of Autumn. He was tired of saying that he was fine, that he felt perfect, and no comment on where his soon-to-be ex-wife was currently located.
Howie, AJ, and Brian stuck close to his side throughout the red carpet interviews and didn’t let him go far once they were inside and the party had begun. He never noticed that Leighanne kept hanging around near the entrance, her eyes trained on the door. But, Brian did.
“Who are you looking for?” he asked her at one point as he stopped by to hand her a drink. Even as he tried to tug her back into the party, she resisted.
“I’m fine right here, Brian.” She kissed him lightly. “Why don’t you go back and enjoy yourself? Keep an eye on Nick. Make sure he doesn’t touch the alcohol.”
Brian’s brows lifted in surprise. Since when had his wife begun to take such a vested interest in Nick Carter? “Sure, okay. Are you positive you want to stay out here by yourself?”
“Absolutely. Now, go.” She nudged him back towards the main room of the party and had to smile at the concern in his eyes. Then, she turned back to the door, waiting for the surprise.
An hour into the party, the Boys were approached by several members of their management team and the record company.
“Why don’t you guys get up on stage and sing a few songs?” one of them suggested. “Do a couple of the old ones, and one or two new ones. Let people know that the Backstreet Boys are as talented as ever.”
AJ shrugged. “They already know we are. Besides, we don’t want to tire Nick out.”
Nick frowned, annoyed. “I’m fine. I’ve been singing for the last three weeks on all those shows in Europe and Japan, remember? I can do it if you guys think we should.”
Brian looked at Howie, Howie looked at AJ, and AJ sighed and nodded. “If you’re sure, Nick.”
“Positive.”
They didn’t have their band with them, but they were handed four microphones when they climbed onto the small stage. The DJ silenced his music, and everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breaths. Then, four voices lifted in harmony, and, quickly, the room was filled with people snapping their fingers and clapping along.
The Boys sang through I Want it That Way, and Nick had just reached the middle of his verse in As Long As You Love Me when he heard the squeal seconds before his leg was attacked.
The microphone fell from his hands and clattered on the floor.
“Daddy!” Lily’s arms wrapped around Nick’s neck when he dropped to his knees and crushed her in a hug.
“Lily! Oh, god, I’ve missed you,” he whispered as he pressed kisses all over her face, shocked that he was actually holding her for the first time in months.
She giggled and laid her hands on his cheeks, kissing his nose. “Missed you, too, Daddy. Love you.”
“I love you, too,” he told her, before he scooped her up and stood. Beyond the lights surrounding the stage, he could see Leighanne beaming at the bottom of the steps, but his eyes were only for the woman standing next to her.
No one said a word as he dumped Lily into AJ’s arms, scrambled off the stage, and, grabbing Autumn’s arm, pulled her out of the club.
“Well,” Brian spoke into his mic after a long silence. “That was…interesting. You never know what to expect with the Backstreet Boys, folks! Alright!”
There were a few nervous chuckles from the audience.
Howie rolled his eyes, though he, too, was concerned about Nick. “Unfortunately, we really do need Nick in order to finish out the set we have for you, so hang out and we’ll finish up when he returns.”
“If he returns,” AJ muttered under his breath. Lily sat calmly in his arms, but her expression was confused.
“J? Where Mama and Daddy go?”
Brian ruffled her curls as the three men marveled at how she’d grown in the nearly three months since they’d last seen her. “Hopefully, kiddo, they went to make things right. Maybe you’ll get a present tonight.”
“Pwesent?” Lily’s frown turned to a delighted squeal. “Yeah! Pwesents!”
AJ chuckled. “Well, at least she’s easy to please.”
***
People tell me
You stay where you belong
But all my life I’ve tried
To prove them wrong
They say I’m looking for
Something that can’t be found
They say I’m missing out
My feet don’t touch the ground
But there are moments
When you can’t deny what’s true
Just an ordinary day
Back when I met you
While Lily may have been easy to please, Nick certainly couldn’t say the same about her mother. They stood under a lamppost, three blocks away from the club. The paparazzi outside the club had started to rush after them, but, one menacing look from Nick, and they’d backed off. Though they were still recording the whole thing from two blocks away.
For several moments, Nick and Autumn just stared at each other, unsure of what to say. Everything he’d ever thought he would say if he saw her again just flew out of his head. All the speeches she’d rehearsed for this moment vanished.
He looks wonderful.
I can’t believe she’s actually here. She looks so beautiful.
Oh, God. What do I say now?
Help me, God. What do I do now?
Finally, Nick decided that he’d go first, but, before he’d even opened his mouth, Autumn smacked his arm. Hard.
“Hey!” He rubbed the sore spot. That was not what he’d been expecting from her. “What the hell is wrong with you? You leave without saying goodbye, and, now you’re back, and you’re hitting me?”
“You put our home up for sale!” Autumn fisted her hands on her hips. “How could you?”
Nick frowned. “Don’t pretend like you care. It’s not like you wanted it, anyway. You got the hell out as fast as you could.”
“That’s our home, Nick! For all your big talk about loving me and not wanting to divorce me, you sure changed your mind fast. First, you send me these divorce papers,” she waved an envelope in his face, “and then you put the house up on the market! You’re such a liar.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“I never lied.”
“No, but you never told the truth either.” His eyes narrowed on her face. “Why did you come back, Autumn? You said you were leaving permanently, but here you are. If you don’t care about me, if you don’t love me, then why are you here?”
She spun away and began pacing the sidewalk. Nick wondered if she’d trip in the skinny heels she wore. “I wasn’t going to come back. I wasn’t going to ever see you again. I was doing my best to ignore your existence, even though Lily kept crying for you day in and day out.”
“She did?” Part of that hole in his heart seemed to heal.
“Of course, she did!” Autumn glared at him. “You did your damnedest to get inside her heart, and you won. She doesn’t even want me to sing her to sleep. She wants Daddy to do it. Damn you, Nick.”
He shook his head. “So, you came back for Lily?”
“No! Maybe.” She sighed. “Not completely.” She studied him for a moment. “You bounced back fast from the injuries and the surgeries.”
Nick rubbed a hand over the back of his neck where tension was brewing. He needed her to get to the point. “Yeah, I did. I was pretty weak in the beginning, but I’m back to normal now.”
“Good. That’s good.” She bit her lip nervously. “I really am sorry that you got hurt, Nick.”
“Forget it.”
“How can I? Summer was my sister and Liz was my best friend. Both of them hurt you, and Liz nearly killed you! I put you in their path, Nick!” There were tears glistening in her eyes, and he couldn’t ignore them.
“No, you didn’t.” She was starting to get hysterical, so Nick knew he would have to be the calm one. “Whatever I did, wherever I ended up, it was because I wanted to do it or be there or whatever. None of it was your fault. If you want to blame yourself, blame yourself for being the one I fell in love with. I didn’t expect to ever fall in love, not really, and then there you were. I would’ve done anything for you, and still would.” He waited until her eyes lifted and met his. “If you let me.”
She wanted to jump into his arms and let him make everything be fine again, but she knew it wouldn’t be that easy. When her fingers brushed over the necklace she wore, she took a deep breath. “Nick, can I ask you a question?”
“Okay.”
Autumn felt the blue stone warm between her fingers before she lifted it for Nick to see. “It’s about this necklace.”
He was surprised when he saw it hanging around her neck. She’d kept it, was all he could think. “You still have it?”
“Yeah. Of course. But I wanted to know one thing. Did you know what opals symbolize when you had this made?”
“Yes,” he replied without hesitation.
She nodded. “I thought so. Did you specifically pick this opal for the necklace, knowing that it helps the person who wears it find their way to true love? Is that what you wanted it to do for me?”
Nick didn’t know what to say in response. Would she be angry if he was honest and said yes, or should he just tell her that he’d picked it because it was a cool-looking stone? He figured that, since they were both being honest, he owed her the truth. “Yes. A part of me already knew I was in love with you, and I wanted you to love me back. Are you going to be mad that I tried any way possible to make that happen?”
Autumn was quiet for so long that Nick was afraid that he’d made a huge mistake. What if, after all this, he lost her anyway? Then, she looked up at him, her eyes serious. “I can’t be mad,” she whispered. “I can’t because it worked.”
“What?”
“It worked, Nick.” She looked away from him then, but Nick tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. What he saw in them made his heart swell and dance in his chest.
“I need you to say it, Autumn. Please.”
She couldn’t look away from his eyes and saw the same needs, the same frustrations, the same fears, and the same, well, love that she felt reflected in those eyes. Placing one hand on his heart, which was racing as fast as hers, she took a deep breath. “I thought I did the right thing in leaving you. You’d been hurt because you were helping me, and I thought it would be better if I left. Without me in your life, you’d be fine.” She paused. “But I know now that it’s not true.”
“You shouldn’t have left.”
Autumn nodded. “I know. I came here tonight not knowing exactly what I was going to say to you. I didn’t think we’d end up like this, but…”
Nick lifted his hand to place it over the one on his heart. “Say the words, Autumn.”
“I’m bad at letting people get too close to me, Nick. It’s scary, and it’s why I kept distancing myself from you.”
“I won’t let you do it again. Just tell me.”
She squeezed her eyes close for a moment before looking up into his face again. “You won’t let me get away, will you? Thank god,” she added with a smile. “I love you, Nick. I don’t know when or how it happened, but it did. I’m in love with you, and there’s nothing I want more than to stay with you, grow old with you.” She paused. “If you’ll forgive me.”
“What’s there to forgive?” Nick asked, but her answer was muffled by his lips as they met hers. His arms circled her waist and pulled her close.
Here it was, he thought. This was his little slice of heaven. He had everything he would ever want or need in his arms. Autumn and Lily were his from now on. Both he and Autumn had made so many mistakes in the last year, but no more. They were going to do it right from here on out.
Lifting his lips from hers, he grinned down at her. “I’m so glad you came to your senses.”
She smiled back. “Yeah, me, too. I missed you, Nick. I really did.”
“Don’t leave. Not ever.”
“No, I won’t.” Autumn picked up the envelope containing the divorce papers from where it had fallen by her feet. “Guess we don’t need these anymore, huh?”
Nick looked at the envelope with disgust. “Wanna torch it?”
“Nah.” As he watched, she shredded the envelope and its contents to tiny bits before dumping the pieces in the nearest trash can. “There. All fixed.”
“There’s just one more thing,” he began and pulled out the chain around his neck.
She gasped when she saw her rings dangling from it. “You kept them.”
“Of course, I kept them. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t let you go.” He slipped the rings off the chain and took her hand in his. “Autumn Evans, will you stay married to me?”
She giggled and felt foolish, ridiculous, and oh so ecstatic. “Yes. Absolutely yes!”
Nick slid the rings onto her finger and smiled as they fit into place. “Perfect.” He kissed her again. “Happy Anniversary, baby.”
“Anniversary?” Autumn frowned. “That’s not for another couple months.”
“No, silly.” He slid an arm around her shoulders and began to walk back towards the club. “It’s exactly one year today since we met at the movie premiere. Remember?”
She did, and it touched her that he’d remembered, too. “Oh, Nick. I do. How…perfect.” Then, she rummaged through her purse and pulled out a fabric flower. “Remember this one?”
He took it from her and smiled. “I gave this to you for your first film premiere.”
“Yeah. I always kept it in my bag and took it everywhere. Kinda like a good luck charm.” She smiled again. “You’re my good luck charm, Nick Carter.”
“Good. Because now you’ll never get rid of me.” When he bent his head to kiss her again, though, she slapped a hand to his chest. “What?”
“There’s just one more thing that we should probably talk about,” she told him as she caught sight of a cameraman hiding behind a wall nearby.
Nick frowned. “What is it?”
“I know we both love Lily, and I thought it only fitting that we do something for her, too.” There was a mischievous smile on her lips, and Nick wondered what she was up to.
“Okay. What?”
“I want Lily to have brothers and sisters, Nick,” she said and watched his jaw drop. “I want more children, your children. So, what do you think?”
What did he think? He’d just been offered everything he could’ve ever wanted in his life, Nick thought. A family, a real family. “I think,” he scooped her into his arms, “we should get started on that as fast as we can!”
When his lips met hers again, Nick felt all the puzzle pieces of his life fit into place again. Things were better than perfect, better than he could have ever hoped, and, this time, he had gotten it right.
I want to thank you
For all of the things you’ve done
But most for choosing me
To be the one
It’s funny how life can take new meaning
You came and changed what I believed in
The world on the outside’s trying to pull me in
But they can’t touch me ‘cause
I got you
When they walked back into the club, they were immediately surrounded by anyone and everyone. Questions were tossed at them from all sides, but neither said a word until they’d managed to climb back onstage where Howie, AJ, and Brian still stood. When they saw Nick and Autumn, they hurried over.
“Well,” Brian began, “should we even ask how things went?”
AJ spotted the rings on Autumn’s hand. “Nope.” He grinned. “I’m glad both of you finally got some sense knocked into your heads. It’s about time!”
Autumn blushed as Nick beamed proudly. “Listen, guys,” he began, “could you do me a favor?”
“Sure.” Howie smiled at the way Nick’s arm stayed wrapped around Autumn’s waist. “What’s up?”
Nick looked down at Autumn. “Why don’t you go hang with Leighanne and Leigh? I have something important I need to do with the guys.”
“Okay,” she said, trying to figure out what he was up to. “Sure. I should check on Lily, anyway.”
When Autumn was out of earshot, Nick turned back to his friends. “I need your help.”
The first strummed notes of the guitar silenced the room, and Autumn turned from Leigh to see the stage. Nick sat on a stool in the middle of the stage, his fingers gliding over the guitar strings, while AJ, Brian, and Howie stood behind him. When his eyes met hers, he smiled.
“A lot of people were asking what happened earlier,” Nick began. “I hope this song will answer it for you.”
As he began to sing, Autumn recognized the song immediately. It was one of her favorite songs from his solo album, and his heartfelt singing brought tears to her eyes. This, she realized, was what she’d been looking for all along. Someone who would make her feel just like this. Cradling Lily in her arms, she watched her husband, the love of her life, sing to her in front of everyone.
And it hits me when I reach for you
That I’m afraid you won’t be there
Maybe I am in too deep
But I don’t care
I’m right where I belong
I got you
And I will prove them wrong
I got you
You can’t deny what’s true, no
They can’t touch me
‘Cause I’ve got you
Nick grinned at the applause that exploded when he’d finished and watched as Autumn was crushed by a sea of well-wishers. When her eyes met his through everyone around her, he smiled and lifted the mic one last time.
“Autumn, they said it wouldn’t work out between us, but what do they know?” The smile on his face was brilliant and matched hers. “We definitely proved them wrong.”
Lyrics from “Any Other Way” Backstreet Boys and “I Got You” Nick Carter
The End. AN: Some of you are so pessimistic LOL I love fairytale endings! I'm surprised so many of you thought this would end with Autumn and Nick being apart...Silliness LOL I hope this was the ending everyone was hoping for! Thanks for reading and enjoying!
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