Brian couldn’t believe it. He had broken up with his girlfriend, Mandy. Or rather Mandy had broken up with him. She had tried to do it in the gentlest way possible but it still left Brian devastated.

Brian regrettably recalled that day when they broke up. They were both in an Italian restaurant having a candle lit dinner. It was Mandy’s birthday and Brian had taken her out to eat her favorite food, Italian.

Brian was planning to give her a diamond necklace he bought from an antique jewelry dealer when Mandy had conversed first.

She had said that the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship wasn’t working out and that they were better off as friends.


Even after a week from that day, Brian was still stunned by what she said.
He thought they were destined for one another, but his thoughts proved him wrong.

“What’s up, B’rok?” Brian was snapped out of his daydream by AJ.

“I’m fine.” Brian struggled to smile as he talked.

AJ sat beside him with a concerned look on his face.

“You’re still thinking about that baby of yours?” AJ asked him.

Brian nodded silently.

AJ put an arm around him as he told him encouragingly, “She’s still a friend anyway, right? So you could still talk to her. She just doesn’t think it’s working out for both of you so she broke up with you. She’s not putting you out of her life…” AJ paused to find the right words, “She’s just saying that you’re not the one for her.”

Brian nodded in agreement but he struggled to write it across his heart. He knew what AJ was saying was true but he didn’t believe it… yet. In his illusion, he was blinded into believing that they were the perfect couple, or so it seemed.

Brian wanted to cry in desperation. He wanted to bring her back into his love life, but he knew he couldn’t do that. All he could be was a supporting friend in whatever endeavor she made.

At that moment Nick greeted them both as he walked to them from the recording booth.
Kevin and Howie were out to buy pizzas for lunch.

“What ya guys talking about?” Nick asked them as he sat on a couch across them both.

“We’re talking about Brian’s old sweetheart.” AJ twirled his finger at him.

“Shut up.” Brian replied as he tried to make it not too obvious.

“Oh, can’t get over her.” Nick joined in and looked at Brian teasingly.

Brian half-smiled in response. He knew he should let go of her, but a part of him was still holding on and he struggled to cut that string that was still connected to her…

“Hey, B-rok, you okay?” AJ asked Brian concernedly.

“I’m fine.” Brian managed a stiff smile at him.

What was it that made Mandy think the relationship wasn’t working? Was is because he was too focused on his ‘work’ that he barely paid any attention to her? Or was it the mere fact that he was a singer from a very popular pop band while she was just an ordinary person who was striving hard to known for her passionate love in acting?

“Where are the pizzas?” Nick grumbled as Kevin entered the room empty-handed.

“They’re with Howie.” Kevin replied nonchalantly.

At that moment the smell of cheese, pepperoni, and pineapple filled the air and all of them turned to see Howie carrying two large boxes of pizza.

“Kevin made me carry these.” Howie complained as he dropped the boxes on the table.

“Well, I paid for it so it’s your labor” Kevin joked as Howie opened the boxes revealing a pepperoni and hawaiian pizza.

Brian was too obsessed in his thoughts to notice the pizzas right in front of him. Usually, his mouth would water at the smell of it.

“This is a good pizza.” Nick told Kevin and Howie as he bit into his hawaiian pizza slice, “Where did you buy these?”

“Pizza Hut.” Howie replied after chewing a bit off his pepperoni slice, “They have almost the best pizzas in town.”

Kevin noticed that Brian barely took a bite of his pepperoni slice. He decided to keep his thoughts to himself knowing that he was clearly not in the right mood to talk.

Suddenly, Brian excused himself from the table and walked hurriedly to the bathroom.


Brian combed his fingers through his hair as he sat inside a cubicle. Pleasant memories of him and her would always replay in his mind like a slideshow and he struggled to reorganize his thoughts especially with the fact that Mandy broke up with him.

Why? Why did they break up?

The question kept replaying itself in his mind over and over again but no definite answer turned up.

He already missed the feel of hers skin on his and the fragrant smell of her hair.

Since Brian was single once again, he felt more vulnerable to all these kinds of thoughts, but he knew he couldn’t help it. His anxiety levels were increasing and he felt a painful throbbing in his head. He didn’t want to have these thoughts in his already troubled mind and he wanted to enjoy life with all that was still with him.

Brian breathed heavily as he walked up the steps to Nick’s house.

The majestic doors looked down threateningly at him as he gripped the door knob uncertainly.

He knew Mandy would be there and even the thought of her made his whole body shiver.

He rang the doorbell and tapped his foot nervously as he waited for someone to answer the door.

“Hey Brian.” he nearly jumped at the voice of Howie.

“Hi Howie.” Brian smiled at him nervously.

“Come on in, everyone’s here.” Howie assured him in.

Brian walked though several throngs of people before finally seeing Kevin and AJ. He wasn’t surprised that a lot of people came to Nick’s birthday party bash. He was known to be a party person.

“Hey Brian.” he turned to see AJ grinning mischievously at him.

“Hi AJ.”

“Hi Brian.” Kevin greeted him then went back to the conversation he was having with AJ about cars.

He hardly heard what they said as his eyes searched for Mandy’s familiar slim figure.

Then he saw her talking with Nick and another guy. His attention was immediately diverted altogether.

Her long brown hair cascaded down her shoulders complimenting her black mini skirt and matching top. The 3-inch sandals she was wearing made her slightly taller than her normal size.

“Brian, are you hungry?” he was cut off from his day dream when Kevin offered him an apple.

“Yeah.” Brian snatched the apple from Kevin’s hand and took a bite of it.

“I prefer a Honda; it’s an excellent brand for a car...” Brian listened to AJ as he drawled on about his favorite car.

“Honda’s nice, but I prefer a Mercedes-Benz.”

“They’re too stylish for me, I prefer something more casual.”

“Honda’s are supposed to be a guzzler in gas…”

Suddenly Brian was aware that someone was watching him. He turned to see Mandy, Nick, and the other guy approaching them.

“Hi guys.” Mandy greeted giving each of them a handshake.

Brian resisted the temptation to caress her in his arms and instead shook her hand lightly.

“This is Jeff, my boyfriend. Jeff, these are the Backstreet Boys: Howie, AJ, Kevin, Brian, and Nick, but I’m sure you know who Nick is already.” Mandy laughed lightly sending her straight hair in ripples.

Brian felt a pang of betrayal as he stared at Jeff’s features.

He had hazel eyes which squinted every time he laughed, light brown hair, an athletic built, and a humorous personality which was almost similar to Brian’s.

Unfortunately, Brian felt he wasn’t in a mood to joke right now.

“Where are you from?” Brian tried to make his voice pleasant but it sounded more like sarcasm when it came out.

“I’m from San Francisco.” Jeff replied.

“Do you have a job now?”

“Yes actually. I’m a ‘small time’ actor. I haven’t acted in any movies yet, just commercials but I plan to hit the mainstream when I’m ready.” he said proudly.

“How old did you start acting?” Brian interrogated him.

“Just recently.” Jeff laughed then finally became serious again, “I just graduated from university.”

“Did you pay your loan yet?”

“Nope, I actually don’t have any loan to pay. I was under scholarship.”

“Really?” Brian said in mock belief, “Tell me about it.”

“I was given a dramatic arts scholarship in my senior year in high school. I loved acting as a young boy. I would usually act in school plays, and even local community plays, but I never really thought I could become an actor until I won that scholarship. I guess I’m just one lucky man.”

“You think your luck will run out, someday?” Brian questioned him evenly.

“Excuse me, what did you say?” Jeff asked, slightly offended by his question.

Before Brian was able to reply, Nick spoke up first.

“I’m going to get some cocktail, you guys want to come?”

“Sure.” Jeff immediately replied as he followed Howie and AJ to the refreshment table.

Kevin looked awkwardly at Mandy then at Brian.

“I’ll just go to the restroom first.” he told them leaving both of them alone.

“Why did you do that Brian?” Mandy questioned him.

“What did I do?” Brian asked, his voice a mixture of rage and innocence.

“Humiliate me in front of my boyfriend!” she gripped his arm tightly when he failed to make eye-contact, “I’m talking to you Brian Littrell!”

“What?” Brian finally looked at her in annoyance.

“Forget it. If you’re still heart broken about me, you need to get over it. I’m already moving on with my life and you’re just standing here in pieces. That doesn’t give you any acceptable reason to fuck with my life!” Mandy told him aggressively.

“Mandy, I… I still love you.” Brian replied, his voice choked and barely audible.

“You’re a girl freak, you know. You’re not the one I want. YOU ARE NOT THE ONE FOR ME. Can’t you tell that to your freakin’ head?” she said to him one last time.

Brian watched helplessly as Mandy walked away, tears welling up in his eyes.