MILES APART

~~~~~2000~~~~

"Mags, where have you been?" AJ asked as he walked up to his best friend, "I've been trying to call you, Nicks having a party tonight, and Vanessa's brother needs a date, so I was ..... kinda hoping you could be his," AJ asked staring into the sea, the waves crashing loudly against the rocks, the sky so clear and blue, it almost seemed perfect. "No," Maggie asnwered, as she got up and walked away, AJ just stared at her in shock, he had no idea what he had done to make her so mad at him. "Mags, you crying .... whats wrong?" AJ asked concerned, Maggie pulled away from him, "nothing" she snapped, then turned to look at Alex, and her heart broke, "Just answer one question Alex" She whispered softly, "Why do you stay with Vanessa .... You know that she's only using you" Maggie answered looking up at AJ for the first time that day, "WHAT" he asked back shocked, "I thought you liked her" He answered, a mixture of shock and hurt on his face, "Well I don't" Maggie replied, as she turned and carried on walking down the beach, "YOU CAN'T JUST WALK AWAY FROM ME" AJ shouted as he ran after her, He grabbed her arm and turned her around, "Whats really bothering you?" He asked, AJ and Maggie had been best friends for so long that he could read her like a book.

She had been sitting on the beach trying to find away to tell Alex how she felt, without realizing it, she turned and kissed him on the lips, she felt him pull away, "What are you doing?" he asked her slowly, Maggie sighed, "I love you Alex, I always have" she said softly, just then they turned to find a shocked Vanessa standing there. "OH MY GOSH" she wailed, "YOU BITCH .... How can you do that?" Vanessa said as she slapped Maggie, 'YOU'RE THE BITCH" Maggie shouted back, holding her face, "I saw you kissing that other guy last night" Maggie said. Vanessa started crying as she saw the shocked look on AJ's face, "Im sorry .... "Maggie whispered to AJ, "I didnt want you to get hurt" she said as she grabbed AJ's hand, he pulled away from her, "Your lying" he said, Maggie stood there shocked. "What" she whispered, unable to belive that AJ would take Vanessa's side over hers, "And that little "i love you" stunt, wont work, I love Vanessa, and until you can accept her, don't call me" AJ said harshly as he grabbed Vanessa and walked out of his best friends life.

Maggie collapsed on the beach and bust into tears, "MAG"B.J shouted as she ran up to her friend, and hugged her as she cried on B.J's shoulder, "he hates me" she kept whispering, "Who hates you sweetie?" B.J asked as she looked at her friends face, "Alex .... hates me" she wailed, once she had calmed down she told B.J the whole story .... "You mean ..... you never got to tell him your leaving" BJ asked, she felt so sorry for a friend, besides Maggie, B.J was other one who could read AJ. "He doesn't hate you Girly" BJ answered trying to calm her friend down.


MAGGIES PROV

~~~~~20006~~~~~~

It had been 6 years since that night, and I hadnt heard one word from AJ, I knew what was up with him through his mom and the press, but I longed for the day I would see him again, We had moved to New York, My parents are moving back to Tampa Bay, though I'm not going with, I'm slowly getting over AJ, he was and always will be my Shining star, but now Joshua is my future, you see we enganged, so I live with him, he is so amazing, and so sexy.

Went through the attic today,
Found an old yearbook packed away,
And I started reliving the past,
When I saw his face.
Suddenly, to my surprise,
I felt a tear fall from my eyes.
The heart never forgets,
No the heart never forgets.
You can find someone,
And live your life,
Put an old memory out of your mind,
But the heart never forgets.

"Okay, I'll start clearing the attic" I told my mom, the packing downstairs was almost finished, now all that was needed to be done, was clean out the attic, I started coughing as I stepped into the attic, from all the dust, I looked at all the mess and sighed, it was going to take longer then I thought, I just hoped it didnt take to long, cause Joshua has a short temper, and if I wasnt home when he got back, he would be very angry and I didnt blame him, He's job was stressfull, and all he wanted to do when he got back, was have me for himself, Everytime he got angry he would tell me that.
I sighed and slowly started packing the box, I smiled as I found things I had totally forgotten I had, thats when I saw my "ALEX" box, when we moved here, I decided not to tell anyone about Alex, afterall the chances of ever seeing him again, wasnt very likely, and besides, he had missed his chance, so I packed everything I had that reminded me of him, inot this box, and put it up in the attic. I opened the box and saw a little jelwery box, I slowly opened it, and gasped as I found the friendship chain that he had given me for my 18 Birthday, it was the last birthday I spent with him, I took the chain out of the box gently and put it on, I carried on going through the box, when I found my year book, I slowly turned the pages, and smiled, at all my old freinds, thats when I saw his face .... it was the most beatiful face I had ever seen, and those eyes, always so full of mischief, I could never been angry with those eyes. I felt my heart breaking again, I put it to the side, and finsihed packing the box, then went down stairs and said good-bye to my mom and step-dad, and went home, I hid the year book at the back of my closet so Josh wouldnt find it.
A face on a crowded street,
An old movie on T.V.,
A song on the radio
Can bring it all back.
Years roll by,
One by one,
All things change,
But there's always someone,
Josh came home late that night, as usual, and I ended up sitting at home alone, but all night, I couldnt get my mind off AJ, I loved Josh with all my heart, but he never made me feel like Alex did, I always felt like a princess when he was around, I blankly changed the channels not really bothering to watch whatever was showing, thats when I saw his face, I turned it up and looked into those stunning eyes, and smiled, I missed all of them, but especially AJ, I often wondered if any of them, ever thought of me, I got a few letters from BJ, she said Brian had married a wonderful person her name was Leighanne, I had seen pictures of Brian and her all over the T.V and magizines, and had heard that Kevin had married his on again/off again girlfriend, Kristen, I was so happy for them, Brian looked happier then ever and I had always thought Kev and Kris made the most adorable couple. As time goes by, you will get to know me, A little more better, Girl; that's the way love goes baby, baby AJ sang, as he pulled off his sunglasses to reveal those amamzing eyes, i'll never break your heart, I'll never make you cry, I'd rather die then live without you, I'll give you all of me, honey that's no lie all the guys finished harminzing, I quickly turned the T.v off and sat thier crying.

The heart never forgets,
No the heart never forgets.
You can find someone,
And live your life,
Put an old memory out of your mind,
But the heart never forgets.
(musical interlude)
The heart never forgets,
No the heart never forgets.
You can find someone,
And live your life,
Put an old memory out of your mind,
But the heart never forgets.
No the heart never forgets.
Ooh, yeah.

Joshua got home at about 3 am, drunk as hell, "Baby" he slured waking me up, "hi" I replied back sleepliy, "Where were you?" I aksed him annoyed, "the boys wanted to go out for drinks," he replied, "besides, you shouldn't ask me a question like that .... its got nothing to do with you" he answered back irritated, I turned over and went to sleep, knowing better then that, to start a fight with him ever, especially if he had been drinking.
I fell asleep with the image on the only guy for me in my head, and a slight smile on my face.

****THE HEART NEVER FORGETS - BY LEANN RIMES AND I'LL NEVER BREAK YOUR HEART BSB****

After AJ walked away from Maggie that night, his heart broke and never really mended, he knew that a piece of his heart would be gone forever, afterall he wasn't expecting to hear from her again, about 3 months after that fight he tried to phone her, but had been told she had moved, he didnt know which broke his heart more, the fact that she had lied to him or the fact she didnt mention anything about moving away, he had spent his whole 20 years, waiting for her to say those words to him. 11 months after that day he had found out she was right about Vanessa, she just wanted to be known as the "Girlfriend" of a backstreet boy, she didnt care about him, she wanted the fame and money and nothing else. Soon after that, he's life had started to spiral out of control, and he was lead into this dark tunnel, only pain, suffering and missery survived there, about 2 years later , he started going clubbing with Kevin, when he first tasted Jack Daniels, he hated it, it tasted plain and burned its way down the back of his throat, but then he noticed it helped take away all his pain, and he become this other person, he wasnt Alexander, the boring, lonely guy who messed up anychance with the girl of his dreams. any more, but AJ, the ladies man, he could do what he wanted, get away with everything, everyone adored, he loved the attention that AJ got, it made Alex seem invisable, and boring, and very quickly Alex vanished, leaving this other person to take over, the clubbing and drinking started out with every few weeks, and very quickly become more, before he knew it, every night he was going out, he was enjoying his life, the drinking was okay for a few years, but slowly his body got used to the feeling, he needed that rush again, so he started drinking more, but the more he drank the worse he felt.

"Hey baby" Tisha mumbeled as she cuddled closer to him, he grinned and looked her up and down, she was beautiful, had long blond hair and was a model. "hey" he said back, taking another swig of his almost finished glass of JD. "This is boring, lets go back to my place, I got Coke there" she purred, AJ took a deep breath, he had been wanting that rush, and besides he couldnt call himself the badboy of the band if he had never tried drugs right? He quickly finished the JD and they headed back to Tisha's apartment, When they walked in he noticed a whole group of people sitting around the table, "everyone this is AJ" she introduced, "thats Dylan, he our dealer" she informed him, he sat down and watched as everyone rolled up thier notes and started sniffing, slowly he coppied them, the rush he got after that was a thousand times better then JD, "your from Bsb right" another blond asked as she came and sat next to him, "yeah" he whispered, "is this your first time" she asked. he just nodded, "how you feeling ... baby" Tisha asked as she sat on his lap. He grinned at her, "this is awsome" he answered

The next morning AJ woke up and looked around, his head was throbbing from the night before, and he had already started having withdrawl symtoms from the Coke, He lay there quitely for a while, "I better go," he told Tisha, "aww baby why" she cooed, "got meetings and interviews, i'm already late, they guys are gonna jump down the neck" he said as he quickly grabbed his stuff gave Tisha a kiss and left.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU" Kevin shouted at him, he was getting sick of AJ's shit, "I went home with this really sexy blond, and over slept," he replied matter of factly, not dare telling them he had tried Coke, he knew Kevin would go ballistic, but personally he had no idea why they cared, it wasnt thier problem, just his. "WELL YOU MISSED THE INTERVIEW, ONCE AGAIN WE HAD TO COME UP WITH AN EXCUSS FOR YOUR SORRY ASS" Kevin screamed, AJ gave Kevin an annoyed look, while the other 3 guys just sat their quietly, "Thanks man," AJ replied patting Kevin on the back, and walked out, "AJ" Kevin screamed and stormed after him.

Brian, Howie and Nick just sat their quietly, they could hear AJ and Kevin fighting, but then again, what was knew, They didnt dare say anything as Kevin stormed back into the room, his face bright red with anger.

AJ slammed his door so hard that the whole hotel could hear it.

What the hells their problem, AJ thought angrily to himself, as he lay down on the bed, his head was throbbing, his body aching, he didnt need shit from anyone especially Kevin, who did Kevin think he was; his father, the last time he checked, He didnt have a father .... well technially he did, but who cared about Robert anyway. Just then Nicks radio started playing a song, and he found himself thinking of Maggie, wondering where she was, he didnt know what was happening to him, all he knew what that the pain started when they stopped being friends, and he needed her more now then ever, what he didnt realize was that, She needed him even more.
I called you today
just to hear you say
you are not around
(ohhh you are not around)
when the message was through
though i wanted to
i couldn't make a sound
(ohhh i couldnt make a sound)
I wanna tell you the things i've seen
i wanna take you to where i've been
and i wish you were here with me

Don't you know, I really miss you
yes i do, yeah
I really miss you,
oh yeah I do

I'm writing to say
had a wonderful day
hanging with my friends
(ohhh hanging with my friends)
but the memory die, as the sun hits the sky,
i'm alone again,
(ohhh alone again)
I wanna tell you the weather is fine, but;
when the night comes around , you are on my mind
and I wish you were here with me

Don't you know, I really miss you
yes i do, yeah
I really miss you,
oh yeah I do

He slowly reached into his case and pulled out the photo he secretly kept with him, he smiled as he looked at it, and slowly pulling it close to him as he drifted into a peaceful sleep with the dream of waking up next to her.

***I really miss you - by S club 7***

MAGGIES POV
"Aje .... Aje, don't leave me please .... I love you, I really do" Maggie cried, tossing and turning, the tears rolling down her face while she was dreaming. She woke up and felt her face stinging, "Owe" she cried out as someone pushed her off the bed, and before she could get up, he was on her side, pulling her by the hair "you little Bitch .... who the hell is Aje ... and you dont love him, you love me, you hear that .... me and only me" he screamed at her and pulled her up, "i dont want you dreaming about other guys," he shouted and pushed her back to the floor, while he started kicking her, She cried out in pain, "besides, who ever he is, probably doesn't want you, your a worthless piece of trash, you lucky i'm kind enough to let you live here, you dont do anything except annoy me," he spat at her, then threw everything out of thier closet,
"LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO" he said shooting daggers at her, she was now trembling with fear. "i'm ..... i'm sorry" she whimpered, and crawled to where the mess was, she started folding the clothes so that he wouldnt hit her again, thats when he found it ..... "Whats this" he asked, picking up the year book, he flipped through it and saw the picture of AJ, with a heart around it, and in her writing I love you Alex Josh started laughing, "is this who you dreaming about, that stupid gay guy from Fagstreet Boys?" he tore the pages out of the book threw it at her, then kicked her again and walked out, "that stuff better be cleaned up and you better be making my breakfast by the time I get back or there will be more trouble." he threatned as he stormed out of the appartment.

She lay there quietly in pain, she wanted to get out so bad, but was terrified, what if he's right she thought frantically what if no-one will ever love me again, she collapsed on the floor in a fit of tears, she needed, Alex but she knew he would never forgive, why would he, she was selfish, and would regret telling him that she loved him, for the rest of her life, Joshua was the best she was going to get, she thought sadly to her self, she curled her self up in a ball and cried her eyes out.

She lay silently listening to the rain outside, the radio was playing softly, as she heard that song ... she smiled thinking of Alex, he had always been supportive of her, she had never met anyone who belived in her the way he did .... all she wanted was to be away from here .... him ... New York, she wanted more then anything to be wrapped up in Alex's arms once again.
There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

I smiled and looked down to a photo that had just fallen out of the year book, it was BJ, Alex, Brad and I at our high school prom, I grinned at the memory, it was the most perfect night, and even though it could have become ugly, Alex still made it absolutely perfect. Alex and the guys were on tour, so I went with Brad, the sexiest guy in our school, when the guys let us know they could make it, I already had a date, so BJ and Alex went together.

***THE PROM***

BJ and I had decided to get ready togeather at her house, "BJ, MAGGIE" Jane shouted up the stairs, We took a deep breath as we finished our make up, we examined ourselves in the mirror and slowly started to decend the stairs, I had chosen a thin strap black dress, it was tight in all the right places, and flared down towards the bottom, I had a silver crown type thing on, with the neckless and matching earings that Alex and given me, the dress was glittery and made me feel like a princess. BJ's dress was similar, except it was red, and just straight down with a slit at the bottom, she had her hair put up in curls, then half was tied up, while the rest just hung low, she looked amazing, As we started going down the stairs I felt everyone watching us, I was so nervous, thinking of what Alex was going to say, when we got to the end I looked up at him, he had this look, "WOW" he breathed, looking BJ and I up and down, the let out a low whistle, I grinned just the response I was hoping to get, "you look ..... amazing" Brad said with a smile as I took his arm, we stayed for a few minutes and took photos, Nick wasnt there as he went to fetch his date.

When we got to the hall it was stunning, all decorated in Silver and black, I smiled as we took our seats, the whole night I felt AJ's eyes on me, but I also noticed that Brad wasnt really paying attention to me, "im just going to the bathroom" he whispered, I nodded and sat talking to Nick and AJ about the tour, after about an hour, I noticed Brad hadn't come back, so I went searching for him, and thats when I found him ... kissing his ex-girlfriend. I know what you all thinking, "who cares. Aj's the one she likes" but I had come to the realisation along time ago that AJ would never love me like that, and I really started to like Brad, he seemed so sweet and thoughtfully, "Brad" I whispered as the tears came to my eyes, "Maggie" he said, when he looked up and saw me standing there, I ran out of the hall and outside, it almost seamed like the perfect night, the hall was on a hill, and over looked the town, the waves could be heard crashing gently against the shore, and the stars were shining brightly, I fell to the floor, not caring about my dress, why didn't anyone love me, was I that horrible.

"Maggie" AJ whispered as he ran up to me, and pulled me into a hug, "I saw Brad and ....." he trailed off not wanting to upset me anymore, I clung to him and cried, "Whats wrong with me,?" I cried, he pulled away from the hug, and liffted my head to look at him, "sweetie, there's nothing wrong with you ... you an amazing, strong, and independant women, any guy would be lucky to have you" he whispered as he wiped the tears away, "its the last dance of the night, shall we?" he asked as he bowed and took my hand, I giggled a little then followed him into the hall, Mariah Careys song hero started blasting through the speakers, as he pulled me closer to him, his strong, tattooed arms wrapped tightly and protectively around my waist, as wrapped my arms around his neck, and we gently swayed to the music, "I love you" I whispered to him, he grinned at me, "love you too, little sis" I smiled at him and stayed in his arms until the end of the song, wishing I could stay there forever.

***BACK TO THE PRESENT***

she lay quietly humming to herself, as she listened to the lyrics that Mariah Carey was singing, and suddenly a little voice started talking to her, and she realized she was a strong independant women, as long as she made Joshua stop putting her down, she sat up a little and as quickly as possible she packed her bags, grabbed her money and wallet, and headed to JFK Airport.

***hero by mariah carey***

AJ'S POV

"GET UP, YOU ASSHOLE" Kevin shouted, barging into my room, I pulled the covers over my throbbing head, I hadnt had a good evening last night, usually I could get Coke so easily, but first my dealer didnt have any, and I search and searched for some, and when I did eventually find enough for the rush, the cops raided the club and I ended up going home with some blond again, I only got in at 6 am and had crashed, now I was in major need of another shot. I didnt have the energy to get up or even fight with the guys, let alone Kevin.

"Kev, just calm down" Brian said to his cousin, knowing how stressed Kevin was, "AJ, whats wrong man, look at this place" Howie replied disappointed in his best friend, they were all starting to get worried about his health. "Maybe we should postpone the tour dates and take a few weeks off," Nick suggested, Everyone just starred at him, "ARE YOU SERIOUS" Kevin asked his face going red again, Nick backed up a bit, and threw his hands up in surrender, "just a thought" he murmed, Brian and Howie looked at each other, "Woah .... Kev" Howie said, "Nicks got a point, we all need a break, i'm sure the fans will understand" Brian added, Kevin sighed, knowing he had no choice, "Whatever" he said, walking out the room.

***A FEW HOURS LATER***

I climbed off plane and headed into the airport, my mom had insisted on meeting me there, I kept telling her I'd be fine, but she could be just so stubon, guess thats where I got it from.

"Alex" I heard someone shout, I smiled as I saw my mom running towards me,
"Hey mom" I said as I hugged her,
"look at you ... you've lost so much weight, are you okay?" she asked worridly, I sighed and rolled my eyes, trust my mom to notice things like that I thought as I picked up my bags and headed to the car.
"The guys say you're not feeling very well lately .... So I was hoping you'd stay with me for a few days" she said nervously, as I groaned,
"fine ...... whatever" I replied turning up the radio, I could hear my mom sigh, but just ignored her.

After what seemed like forever (which was actually only about 10 mins) we pulled up into my mom's house, I took my bags up to the room, and settled in, before pulling out a cigirette.
"Alex, if you going to smoke that please go outside" my mom said sternly, standing by the open door, I got up and went outside, after a few puffs, I noticed movement in the house next door, I smiled slightly remembering when Maggie and her family lived there,
"Hello Alex" I heard someone say and turned to see Debra; Maggies mom standing there smiling at me, I smiled and gave her a quick hug,
"Hey Mrs. J" I replied friendly, We stood there talking, for a while,
"Mom, I'm going to the beach" a young girl said as she slowly walked up to Debra, she looked so sick, then she stopped and starred at me, I couldnt belive Maggie .... My Maggie was standing there a few feet away from me, our eyes locked for just a few seconds before I looked away,
"Well I got to go, nice seeing you again" I said to Mrs J then turned and went inside, I coudnt belive it, Why didnt you say hello to Maggie I asked, kicking myself.

"MOM" I shouted walking into the house, "You never told me that Maggie moved back" I shouted, I was angry ... I dunno why, maybe because I would have had a speach planned out, or somthing, My mom went quiet,
'I'm sorry" she said softly, "I don't know why I never said anything but, I guess I knew what happened the last time you saw each other, and how badly you both got hurt, I just didnt want that to happen" She said, "Um ... Alex, I think there is something else you need to know, I wasnt going to tell you this, but seeing you know she's back .." my mom stuttered, I had never seen her so nervous before, "Well what it is ... tell me" I replied getting annoyed with her, "Alex, she's engaged" When I heard my mom say that last word, everything just went blank, she's getting married ..... to someone else I thought sadly to myself, but the saddness didnt last that long, if very quickly turned into anger. Why was she back here anyway? probably wanting to throw it in my face that I've lost her, well I'll just show her, that I'm over her and never been happier. I thought to myself as I jumped into my brand new Corvet and sped off to the nearst pub, I needed to have a drink.

****AT THE BEACH PARTY****

"MAGGIE" BJ squealed as she ran up to her best friend, "oh my gosh, how have you been?" she asked Maggie excitedly, "I'm good, and you?" Maggie asked BJ, as she gave her best friend a hug, "I'm awsome" Bj answered,
"NICK, BRI, D, KEV" BJ called excitedly, Maggie just laughed at her friend,
"Maggie" Nick whispered, just starring at her, "In the flesh" she joked pretending to be a model, all the guys just grinned as they took turns pulling her into a bear hug, "We've missed you" Brian said just starring in shock, not quite beliving that she was actually standing there infront of her,

They spent the whole evening just joking around, and catching up on old news that they had missed in each others life, well Maggie knew most of the Carters and Backstreet Boys news, but she just let me tell her, not wanting to ruin the moment, pushing the fears out of her head, that morning Josh and phoned, luckily she never answered, fearing it was him, and he threatend to be back, but she was too scared to tell anyone, execpt her mother and father, but they had promised to keep it a secret.

"AJ really needs you" Kevin said softly, things had gone from playfull to serious very quickly, and Maggie didnt like where this was going,
"No he doesnt" she said sadly, wishing with everything inside her that Kevin was right,
"yeah Mags, you should see him," Nick anwered, the saddness and worrying showing in his baby blue eyes,
"Don't do this" Maggie said, getting upset, she didnt want to talk about AJ, she had enough other problems to worry about,
"how do you know, you havent spoken to him in 6 years" Nick said, getting angry with her,
"he told me not to phone him, so I didnt .... and yeah I saw him this afternoon, he looks fine" she shouted at Nick and walked away,

*****AJ*****

"I'll have another one" I slurred, I didnt know which of the 3 barmans were the real one, "sorry man, but you've had to much already" the barman said to me, I looked at him, "Says who?" I asked, standing up, but the world just spun around, "look man, no trouble" the barman answered lifting his hands in surrender, The bouncer just showed me out, "Fine, I'll find another bar" I shouted to him over my shoulder, there was no way I was finished with drinking, only when Maggies face stopped coming in my mind I would stop drinking.

I decided to try and walk to the next pub, I didnt want to drive, I noticed across the street there was a beach party, and decided to check out the girls, thats when I noticed them .... her, siting on the beach, Nick had his arm around her shoulder, and I got angry again, it was OUR special place .... why was she here with them .... him. I thought angerily. I went to the bar, and paid for a drink, I downed it, before heading in their direction.

I stummbled a few times, then looked again, they were gone, thats when I saw her walking towards me, she looked sad, "AJ" she whispered as she walked into me, I always loved the way she said my name, her voice, so angelic. When I looked up I saw Nick standing behind her, and my mind flashed back to the way he was sitting with his arm wrapped around her shoulder, "your boyfriends calling you" I told her, I saw Nicks mouth drop open, and her face went white, "my .... my ..... boyfriend" she stuttered, "oh sorry, I forgot you got two boyfriends. but i'm not one of them" I said, she looked at me with tears in her eyes, Why are you being such a Ass my mind kept screaming at me, but I had learnt over the last few years to just ignore that voice in my head.
"Excuse me" she whispered as she pushed past me, I saw Nick glarring at me angerly, "AJ, you such a asshole" he exclaimed, and ran after Maggie, I watched her walk away again, for some reason I just couldnt do anything right, when it came to us,

Thats when I decided I had to tell her I loved her, I walked to where the DJ was standing by his mixing table. I told him my plan, and he handed me the microphone,

HELLO EVERYONE I said into it, I just want to say sorry to Maggie, I was a jackass, I don't know why I kept being nasty, but the truth is I should of run after you that day, and I didnt, I'm sorry and I do truely love you I said, she looked up at me with that killer smile of hers and in my drunken stated tried my hardest to sing this song to her.


You said good-bye
I fell apart
I fell from all we had
To I never knew I needed you so bad
You need to let things go
i know you told me so

I've been through hell
to break this spell
why did I ever let you slip away
can't stand another day without you
without the feeling i once knew

I cry silently, I cry inside of me
I cry hoplessly, 'Cause I know i'll never breathe
your love again, I cry 'cause your not here with me
Girl I'm lonely as can be, Cause I know i'll never breathe
your love again,

if you could see me now,
you'll know just how hard i've tried, not
to wonder why, I wish I could belive
in something new, oh somebody please tell
me its not true, (oh girl) i'll never be over you

why did I ever let you slip away
can't stand another day without you
without the feeling I once knew

I cry silently, I cry inside of me
I cry hoplessly, 'Cause I know i'll never breathe
your love again I cry 'cause your not here with me
Girl I'm lonely as can be, I cry hopelessly
'cause know i'll never breathe
your love again,

If I could have you back tomorrow,
If I could lose the pain and sorrow,
I would do, just anything,
to make you see you still love me

ohhhhhh (I cry) 'Cause I know i'll never breathe
your love again

I cry silently, I cry inside of me
I cry hoplessly, 'Cause I know i'll never breathe
your love again I cry 'cause your not here with me
Girl I'm lonely as can be, I cry hopelessly
'cause know i'll never breathe
your love again,

****I cry by Westlife****

MAGGIES POV

I stoped and starred at AJ standing in front of me, I couldnt belive it, had he really come to tell me he loved me, when I had seen him earlier and our eyes locked, I thought my knees where going to go weak, Josh had made me feel alot of things in the beginging but this was somthing I only felt when I was around AJ.

"your boyfriends calling you" AJ told me, I starred at him in shock, my face going white, I could feel my legs giving way, and not through ectasy of seeing AJ again, but through fear of it being Josh. "my .... my ..... boyfriend" I stuttered,
"oh sorry, I forgot you got two boyfriends. but i'm not one of them" AJ said harshly, as he just glarred at me with hurt and anger in his eyes,
"Excuse me" I whispered as I pushed my way past him. I couldnt take it anymore I just ran, I decided to go mix with the party go'ers, I had missed everyone, but now I just wanted a break, I was sick of the fear, and saddness that consumed me, I just wanted to be wild and free for one night, I wanted a relashionship that I didnt have to be scared of, one that I knew my partner wouldnt hurt me, but protect and keep me safe. I sighed as the fast paced song came to an end and the soothing balled filled the speakers, but before the singing started I heard a familar voice. I spun around to see AJ on the stage, I smiled up at him as he started this speach.

HELLO EVERYONE AJ said into The microphone," I just want to say sorry to Maggie, I was a jackass, I don't know why I kept being nasty, but the truth is I should of run after you that day, and I didnt, I'm sorry and I do truely love you" he said, as he looked down at me with that killer smile of his as he started to sing Westlife's new song; I cry.

After the song ended I fled, how can he stand there one minute dissing me, and the confess his undying love to me the next, he's drunk, he doesnt know what he's saying kept running through my head as I run down the beach, I found a quiet place as I sat down and cried, I had been doing that a lot lately, and I hated it. I smiled slightly as all the memories started running through my head.

Memories
The love I left behind
I still think about it all the time
Nothing stays the same
Maybe I'm to blame
Oh I, I'd do it all again

I wipped the tears that were falling down my face away, I had come back here thinking everything was going to be the same as it was when we left, I had dreamed about coming back for along time, but now it was almost like I had never been here before, I was a stranger to my own home town. It was sad, but the thought struck me, All this time I blamed AJ for not running after me, but maybe I deserved it, Maybe this was all my fault, after all I never called him back, I looked up at the clear sky, the rushing waves, as the sudden thought struck me, Josh was all I was ever going to be able to get.

Through these eyes
I've seen a thousand lies
And it's taken years to realize
That nothing stays the same
And no one is to blame
But I, I'd do it all again

***AJ***
I watched her run away and just stood there, my heart broke again, I had to find a way to apologize, I know she's engaged, but he's all wrong for her ... didnt she see that, didnt she realize I was only person who could love her. She had to give me a chance, I didnt care what I had to do, I had let her walk out of my life once, and it had almost destroyed me, I wasn't about to let her go so quickly again, no matter who her fiance' was.

Does it really matter if you got it right?
Does it really matter who was wrong or right? (yeah)
All I know, yes I know that I can make it through
What about you?

Ooh my my
But ain't no way it's gonna change me (oh you wanna know)
Ohhh
Cause all the fear I've left behind (where you gonna go)
Yeah yeah
And only time will tell you what is meant to be

***Maggie***
I got up and walked a bit, the cool breeze making me feel a bit better, I was sick of the whole "AJ/Maggie" story, and I was determined to fix it. After all these years, who really cared what happened, or who started the fight, all that mattered was we made up for lost time, I had been without my best friend for long enough, it was time to get him back.

There's a place
I can't let go
Holding all the dreams I used to know
I wish it was the same
I guess no one's to blame
But I, I'd do it all again
Yeah yeah

***AJ***
I slowly walked down the beach, the ocean breeze making me a little more sober then when I first go here, I thought of how much I'd changed since the last time I'd actually sat on the beach and starred into the Ocean, thats when I realized it was at least 6 years ago, How had I changed so much with out actully realizing it? I sat down on the soft sand, and watched as the waves crashed against rocks, it was so wild in the ocean, but it brought a calm, relaxing sensation over me, I got up and went to look for Maggie. I wanted my best friend back.

Does it really matter if you got it right? (does it really matter?)
Does it really matter who was wrong or right? (who was wrong or right)
Looking at my life today and I'm alright (I'm alright)
Yes I'm okay (I'm okay)
Now I see the world in a better way (so much better now)
And I know, yes I know that I can make it through (yeah)

Memories
The love I left behind
I wish it was the same
I guess no one's to blame
No no nothing stays the same
And everything must change
Oh I
I'd do it all again
Oooh again
Again
Again
***Maggie***
I smiled as I noticed a guy walking towards me, My heart started racing and I walked faster to get to him, but when I got within distance, I stopped dead in my track, Joshua, was here and he had seen me.

***AJ***
I was walking along the beach, trying to figure out what I was going to say to Maggie, I knew she was engaged, but I needed her, I realized when I saw her again, I couldnt live without her, and if she was over me, I would just have to try and be her best friend again. As I walked down the beach, I noticed two figures standing there, then to my shock, I saw the guy throw a punch, "YOU COMING BACK WITH ME YOU STUPID BITCH .... THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO LEAVE ME" the guy screamed, I maybe a drunk asshole, but wasnt about to watch a guy beat his girlfriend up, even I knew better then that, forgetting about Maggie for the moment, I run towards the two figures, thats when I realized it WAS Maggie and that must be her fiance, I stood there shocked, unable to belive someone would actually hit thier fiance, but Maggie, how could anyone hit Maggie, she was probably one of the nicest people in the world,

"WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING" I screamed, as I watched him throw another punch, "GET AWAY ASSHOLE" he warned, I could smell the alchol, she fell hard to the floor, I ran to her side, and knelt beside her, "Maggie" I whispered wiping away the blood that trickled down her face,
"Who are you" I heard a guy demand from behind me, I got up and spun around, I looked him in the eyes, "i should ask you the same question" I said as calmly as possible,
"Her fiance' you ass" He murmered, I couldn't take it anymore, I just threw one punch, sending him flying, I couldn't help it, I just started hitting him till he couldnt move anymore,
"EVER COME NEAR HER AGAIN, AND I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU" I shouted at him, every inch of my body tensing, then I turned and ran back to Maggie, "Mags .... mags" I cried gently slapping her to try and wake her up, but she was out cold. I picked her up and ran to the car passing Kev and the group,

***NICK***

I followed her into the crowd of people, "Maggie" I shouted but she didnt hear me, the music was so loud, then I heard AJ on the speakers and smiled, I watched Maggies face brighten up when she saw AJ, but within seconds the smile had dissapeared and so had she, AJ jumped off the stage and chased her, I decided to go find the group and give the two sometime alone.

A few hours later, we were just sitting on the beach, admiring the view, when I noticed a figure running past us, I looked up and saw AJ running with a girl in his arms,
"Bone" I shouted as I jumped up and ran to him, the rest of the group following, I noticed that he was crying, "hostpital" was all he could say, we helped him and headed to the General Tampa Hospital.

"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP US" Aj shouted as we ran into the emergency room at General Tampa Hospital, a doctor and some nurses came running. "What happened" Dr. Johnson asked, as they lay Maggie down on a bed, and started wheeling her into the E.R,
"her fiance ...." AJ whispered, then took a deep breath, "beat her up" he said, the doctor looked concerned, but didnt say anything,
"I'm sorry .... wait here, we'll let ya know what's going on" he said then disapeared behind the doors. I had come with AJ to the hospital, while the others had followed in thier cars, now we were sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the rest of the gang to get their. I watched as AJ paced up and down, I tried to ask him what was going on, but he wouldnt tell me.
"Hey you guys, whats going on?" Brian asked running into the waiting room. I looked at Bri with relief and we all starred at AJ, waiting for an explanation.

"Bone buddy.... what happened?" Howie asked walking up to his friend with concern on his face, AJ looked up at us and you could see tears in his eyes, he just looked away before punching the wall "THAT ASSHOLE" he shouted, we all jumped back in surprise, as AJ fell to the floor and started crying. In all the time I had known him, I only saw him cry twice, When Maggie had moved without telling him or saying good-bye and when his gran had passed away. "Bone, whats going on?" Kevin asked, walking up to his best freind, and kneeling on the floor beside him, trying to comfort AJ, "he hit her man .... how can he just hit her like that?" AJ asked, the tears now streaming down his face.

"Mr. Mclean" The nurse said, AJ and Kev jumped up and everyone walked towards the nurse, she smiled sweetly at all of them, "your friend is out of the theater, they've placed her in ICU, you can go visit her, just 2 at a time," she said sternly, "is she going to be okay, why is she in ICU" AJ asked, his face turning white as a sheet, "I'm not at liberty to discuss this with you, the doctor will be by shortly, and will be more then happy to answer some questions for you" she said, calmly, "thanks" Kevin said as they all watched AJ.

***AJ***

I stood there as she told me they had put Maggie into the ICU ward, why did she have to go to ICU, I didnt think it was that bad, I wanted to cry .... scream .... hit something .... anything .... just get this pain away, I couldnt stand the thought of loosing her, not again, I sighed and wipped away the tears in my eyes,
"Can one of you just phone her parents, and my mom" I asked looking at the gang,
"Sure man" Howie answered as he pat me lightly on the back, "I ..... I just need some time with her alone" I whispered, the guys just nodded knowing and understanding where I was coming from.

I entered into her room, and froze, Maggie .... my Maggie lay there on the bed, she looked like a sleeping Angel, well she would of, if it wasnt for the bruises on her face, and the beeping machines all around her, I grabbed a chair and sat down next to her, not really knowing what to do or say, the whole scene flashing in my mind, how could she stay with that jerk, she deserved better, she deserved somone who adored her ... someone who would stand up for her .... someone who treated her like a queen, why would she settle for anyless? I kept thinking to myself,

"Mr. Mclean" the doctor whispered from the doorway,
"could I speak to you for a minute" he asked seriously,
"uh sure" I responded then got up to follow him,
"Miss James ... has serious problems, I need to see her parents" he replied, trying to be proffessional and not get involved; though somtimes it was really hard to stay proffessional, especially in a case like this, she was so young and had so much to live for.
"my friends phoned her parents, they should be here soon, just tell me" I pleaded with him, I had to know what was wrong with my angel. "she has suffered brain injury and got a few broken ribs ... the brian injury is not neccessarily from tonight, but could be from constintally hitting her head," he said, I stood there stunned, this wasnt the first time, "and the worst part is ...." Dr. Johnson stopped, not really sure how to carry on, he took a deep breath, and I could see him fighting back the tears, my heart started racing, what was he going to say, it had to be pretty bad if the doctor was fighting back his own tears.
"she lost the baby" he whispered, I stood there absolutely stunned, "baby?" I asked him confused, "yeah, she was 6 months pregnant" he finished, I didnt know what to say, I couldnt belive it, how could I have not noticed, was I really that self absorbed, I thought to myself, thats when I realized the guys were right, I did have a drinking and drug problem, I thanked the doctor, and slowly walked over to the bed, I starred at her fragile form, and my heart broke when I thought about how we could tell her that she lost her baby.

I picked her hand up in mine and kissed it gently, "Maggie baby .... please wake up" I begged, the tears pouring from my eyes, "Baby, if you make it through this I promise I will get help," I whispered, but didnt notice my mom and the guys standing by the door, my mom had her own tears running down her face, the thought of her son finally realizing that he had a problem lifted a huge weight off her chest, Maggie sure was their Guardian Angel, now all they had to do was pray she would make it, because everyone knew, if AJ had to lose her again, he would totally go overboard.

I kissed her cheack and started singing a song I had been listening to alot:

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance,
Just one breath,
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
You know, you know

That I love you,
I have loved you all along,
And I miss you,
Been away for far to long,
I keep dreaming you'll be with me,
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I dont see you anymore

On my knees, i'll ask
last chance, for one last dance,
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
all of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all.
I'd give for us,
Give anything, but I wont give up,
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you,
I have loved you all along,
And I miss you,
Been away for far to long,
I keep dreaming you'll be with me,
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I dont see you anymore

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted to say
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far to long
So keep breathing
'Cause i'm not leaving
hold on to me and
never let me go
***far away by Nickelback***

***AJ***

I sat there starring at her, my heart breaking into a thousand pieces at the thought of her not waking up,

"My baby" Debra cried, as she ran up to Maggie,
"oh baby girl, what happened?" she asked looking frantically to me, I sighed and told the whole group about Josh,
"I'm just glad she got out when she did" Jack; Maggies father whispered,
"I'll kill that asshole, if I ever see him again" I said, getting angry, at the thought of watchining him beat Maggie up,
"and the baby" Debra whispered, I looked at her sad face, she didnt take her eyes off Maggie, I sighed, not really sure how to answer the question, she looked up at me worriedly,
"im sorry" I whispered,
"the doctor said he kicked her in the stomache, and killed the baby" I said, I watched as Debra fell into Jacks arms, the tears pouring from her face,
"my poor baby girl" she sobbed, I had to look away, because if I didnt I knew I would start crying soon.

It had been a few days, and Maggie was still out, It was breaking my heart, but I refused to leave her room, I knew she would need all her family and friends there when she woke up, and I was going to make sure that we were all there for her.

That night, I lay quietly just staring at a photo of the two of us together, BJ had brought an old album with her for us to look at, but had left it when Nick took her home. The picture I had in my hand was taken on BJ and Maggie's prom, and I gentle touched the picture as a tear rolled down my face, things seemed so easy back then, I sighed and put away the picture before laying my head down and holding her hand.

***Maggie***

I woke up, and looked around, Where am I? ,I thought to myself panicking, thats when I remembered the beach .... Nick and the gang .... Alex ... Josh I whispered to myself, then turned to look next to me, I smiled sadly and my heart began to race, as I noticed Alex fast asleep, his head laying next to me, and his hand in mine, I lay back down and snuggled closer to him before trying to go back to sleep.

"Morning" I whispered to AJ, his head perked up and a grin crossed his face.
"hey" he said softly,
"how you feeling?" he asked concerned,
"Im okay, my stomache is a bit sore," I told him honestly,
"have you seen the doctor" I aked, wanting to make sure my baby was okay, I noticed him go pale, and he looked away,
"Whats wrong?" I asked him concerned, just then my mom and everyone else walked in.

"MAGGIE" My mom said, running up to me with tears in her eyes,
"we were so worried" she told me, I instantly knew somthing was wrong, everyone looked concerned and sad, she hugged me tightly but I just sat there, not sure what do or say, I wanted to know what the doctor had said, but I was scared, it must have been somthing really bad, my hand instictively went over my stomache, and I just had to ask.

"How is my baby" I asked AJ, in a whisper, he looked like he was going to burst into tears,
"We're here for you" BJ answered as she ran over to me and hugged me, I went silent, what did she mean, they were here for me, was she telling me my baby was .... dead?
"What do you mean Beej" I asked, the tears getting ready to fall from my face,
"I'm so sorry .... you lost it" My mom said, now crying as she hugged me tightly,
"It?" I asked her getting anger, "its not a it .... her name was going to be Alexis" I whispered, then looked over at AJ, his eyes grew big and I could see sadness in them as everyone went silent, knowing that I was naming her after AJ,
"Baby, I'm sorry, it'll be okay" he said grabbing my hand and holding it tightly, I got mad,
"HOW IS IT GOING TO BE OKAY ALEX, I JUST LOST MY BABY .... AND MY FIANCE' .....I DON'T EXPECT ANY OF YOU TO UNDERSTAND," I shouted at them, I didnt mean to sound so nasty, but how could they just stand there and act as if I could just go buy another one, it was my baby, I had been carrying her for 6 months, I was supposed to protect her, how would I be able to live with myself after this, I thought sadly to myself,
"Can you all please leave, I just want to be by myself" I told them after a few minutes, I could see the sadness and concern in thier eyes, but I just turned my head, I couldnt be with anyone now, I needed sometime to myself to morne the loss of the baby I started to love but never got to meet. I lay down and closed my eyes, hoping they would just obey my request and leave.

I sat their crying, my heart aching at the thought, that bastard I screamed at myself,
"Can I come in" I heard someone ask from the door way, I looked up and smiled sadly at Denise, I felt bad about the way I spoke to everyone, they just didnt understand what it felt like to lose a baby.
"Sure" I whispered and tried to sit up a bit,
"look Denise, i'm really sorry about how I spoke to everyone earlier" I told her quietly, she smiled and took my hand,
"its okay sweetheart" she answered,
"you allowed to feel like that, you just lost your little girl" she told me, I couldnt keep the tears in anymore, I hugged her and we cried togeather,
"I know it feels like the pain will never go away, but belive me it does, you'll always feel sad, but it wont hurt like this" Denise told me as we pulled away,
"and as for your fiance, do you really want to be married to someone who treats you so badly?" Denise asked as she stroked my hair away from my face,
"no" i cried shaking my head, Denise and I talked for while more before she left, eventually I was exhausted and decided to sleep, it had been a very trying day, I lay down but I couldnt sleep, my thoughts kept going back to Alex, I hadn't seen him for the rest of the day, and I felt really bad. He hadnt' left my side since I was brought in here, and I shouted at him like that. I rolled over and looked at the door, I smiled when I saw him leaning against the door-frame watching me,
"hey" I whispered, he grinned at me
"Hey" he said back softly,
"you can come in" I told him, he slowly walked over to the chair,
"How you feeling" he asked as he brushed my hair out of my eyes,
"like a bitch" I said, just staring at him,
"I'm soo sorry about everything," I said not looking at him,
"Don't be, I'm the one who should be appologizing, I was drunk at the party, but I still meant every word of it" he told me quietly, I just starred at him,
"Really" I asked, scared that it was just a dream,
"yeah, when I found out that you left, it just about killed me, I knew I loved you, but I was scared to tell you at the beach, because I didnt want to ruin our friendship, it was to important to me ..." he trailed off, I smiled and took his hand,
"Can we talk about this tomorrow, i'm tired" I told him, he grinned at me, kissed me on the cheak and got up,
"sure" he answered as he walked towards the door,
"AJ" I said, he turned and smiled at me,
"please stay with me tonight" I asked him, he nodded, I moved over a little so we could share the bed, he lay down and I rested my head on his chest, as he wrapped his strong, tattooed arms around me, and softly started to sing to me.

In a moment
everything can change,
feel the wind on you shoulder,
for a minute all the world can wait,
let go of your yesterday,

Can you hear it calling, can you feel it in your soul?
can you trust this longing and take control

Fly, open up the part of you that wants to hide away,
you can shine, forget about the reasons why you can't
in life, and start to try, 'coz its your time .... time to fly

All your worries leave them someone where else,
find a dream you can follow,
reach for somthing, when there's nothing left,
and the world seems hollow.

Can you hear it calling, can you feel it in your soul?
can you trust this longing and take control

Fly, open up the part of you that wants to hide away,
you can shine, forget about the reasons why you can't
in life, and start to try, 'coz its your time .... time to fly

And when your down and feel alone, and you just want to run away
trust your self and don't give up, you know your better then anyone else.

In a moment
everything can change,
feel the wind on you shoulder,
for a minute all the world can wait,
let go of yesterday,

Fly, open up the part of you that wants to hide away,
you can shine, forget about the reasons why you can't
in life, and start to try, 'coz its your time .... time to fly

In a moment,
everything can change

"Fly ~ Hillary Duff"

***Nick***

I walked into Maggies room early the next morning, with BJ at my side, I couldn't sleep the night before, I kept tossing and turning, the day before's events running through my head, I had known Maggie since forever and had never seen her like that, I know she just lost her baby, But seeing her like that had really broken my heart, I knew AJ and Mggie needed each other more than anyone realized.

Anyway; we walked into Maggies room and stopped, a smile creeping up my face, there in AJ's arms lay Maggie, I just watched the two sleep peacefully, when you see Maggie you wouldn't think that someone like AJ would make her so happy, they were completly opposite.

Maggie was shy, some-what quiet, and an all round good girl, where AJ was this wild, loud, party-animal, bad-boy; yet they fit together so perfectly, AJ started to wake up and I smiled down at him.

"Morning bone" I replied with grin, BJ was standing next to me, with the biggest smile she could have.
"Morning" AJ replied back sleepily.

***AJ***

I woke up and looked around, I couldnt remember where I was, then I saw Nick and Beej standing at the door, I turned my head a little to the left and smiled as I remembered I had fallen asleep next to Maggie, I watch as she curled up a little closer to me, her face still red from all the crying, this is perfect I thought happily to myself, I could get used to waking up with Maggie in my arms I thought, then turned to the two smiling faces from the door.

"Morning" I replied, as I slowly tried to get up without waking Maggie up,
"So what happened" Beej asked excitedly, as she smiled at me, I just chuckled at her,
"you need to get your own love life" I teased her, but her smile just got bigger,
"Actually I've got one ... remember" she said back, both Nick and I just glarred at her,
"with him, not likely" Nick remarked, BJ just looked at him,
"why, because he's a singer?" she asked, getting annoyed,
"no, because he's from Nsync" Both Nick and I remarked, she just glarred at us, then changed the subject.
"Are you two an item?" she asked, her whole face lighting up.
"no," I said shaking my head, then going back to watching Maggie sleep.
"come on bro, you need to get somthing to eat, we'll just go down to the caferteria, and Beej can stay here" Nick said I looked from Maggie to Beej then smiled when I realized I hadn't eaten anything the day before,
"Okay" I agreed, I kissed her on the cheek lightly, before getting up and walking out with Nick.

***Maggie***

I slowly started to wake up and looked around, my heart sunk when I realized that AJ wasn't there, but then I noticed someone sitting at the end of the room reading a magazine,

"Morning sleeping beauty" BJ joked as she put the book down and walked up to my bed, I grinned at her and gave her a big hug,
"how you feeling?" she asked going very serious, very quickly, I smiled and lay back down
"Much better then yesterday" I replied, but my mind slipped back to the baby that I had just lost,
"I spoke to Denise, and she helped me a lot" I answered quietly, then looked back at a concerned BJ and smiled,
"So..." I started, wanting to change the subject "I hear through the grape vine that you and Mr. J.C Chasez are a couple" I asked excitedly, she smiled at me, and nodded,
"Well sit down and tell me details girlfriend" I joked as she laughed, then she hugged me,
"What was that for?" I asked confused,
"even though I havent seen you for years, you still my best friend, and thanks for being happy about Jc and me, everyone else is mad," she trailed off, I just grinned at her,
"Well he is a major hottie" I joked then smiled,
"Don't worry Beej, they'll come through" I told her,
"Promise you wont move away again" she asked, her eyes clouding over
"I promise" I told her then we hugged again,
"Okay .... okay .... details" I replied making my self comfortable while she told me EVERYTHING about Jc and her.

After a while Nick and AJ come back.

"Hey ladies, whats going on here?" AJ asked from the door, I grinned at the two of them,
"just girly talk" I told AJ, and gave BJ a wink.
"Okay ... don't wanna know anymore" Nick joked, but you could see the saddness in BJ's eyes,
"well here, we bought you these from all of us" Nick said pulling out a dozen pink roses,
"ahh, they beautiful" I said, as Nick put them in the vase and walked up to me, and gave me a hug,
"how you feeling" he asked, I grabbed AJ's hand and smiled at Nick,
"better" i replied with a smile, after an hour or so, Nick and BJ left, I made BJ promise to bring JC with next time she came.

AJ and I just sat there, not really knowing what to say to each-other, I knew I had a lot of explaining to do, we had been through so much together especially over the last few days, there was so much to say, but neither knew where to begin.

"I think we need to talk" I whispered, he grabbed my hand and sat closer,
"I know" he replied bearly above a whisper.



***AJ***
I just stared at her, she said we needed to talk, but where do we start, how could I confess what hell I went through because I was missing her so much.

"I'm so so sorry" she whispered, "I should of told you that night that we were moving, I was going to, but then we got into that huge fight and I ... I don't know" she trailed off,
"Shhh ... its okay" I told her, pulling her closer to me
"Just let me start" I told her,
"I'm really sorry too, I've loved you since way before the prom, and I always dreamed you would tell me you felt the way I did, but I don't know what happened to me that night .... I guess I got scared, I had never really thought of what I would do if you ever confessed, and when you did, it just freaked me out," I told her honestly, Then I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed her hand softly,
"I was a fool, when I found out that you moved and didnt tell me, my whole world fell apart, and I kept blaming myself, Thats when I discovered Jack Daniels, and when I realzed, if I drank enough JD I could get the pain away, I very quickly became addicted to it.
"Once the JD started wearing off, I needed that peace .... that rush .... so I went to Cocain," I whispered I couldnt look at her, I was so ashamed of myself, I had always promised myself that I wouldnt go the "Drugs .... Sex ... and rock n roll" route, but thats the exact way I had gone, this was the first time that I spoke to anyone about my drinking and drug promblem.

"Alex .... look at me" Maggie whispered, I looked up at her and saw a tear rolling down her cheek,
"its not your fault" she told me gently,
"But you need to get help" she whispered, as she gave me a hug, I hugged her back so tightly, I didnt want to let her go, I had dreamed about holding her in my arms one day, and now that day has come, I never wanted to let go.



***Maggie***

I sat their stunned, I had no idea that it was because of me that Alex had changed so much, I always thought he had just got caught up in the whole "Rockstar" scene, Everytime I heard about him my heart broke and I wondered if he even remembered me, deep down I knew he wouldnt just forget me, but the thought still kept creeping into my mind, the whole time I thought he had everthing, and I realized that the one thing he wanted to most, was me.

We just sat there in silence,
"Maggie" AJ whispered, I looked up at him and smiled,
"yeah" I asked,
"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked bearly above a whispered, I grinned at him
"Yes Alex, i'd love to" I told him, throughing my arms around his neck.

"Can I have this dance" he asked, putting out his hand, I took it, and he helped me stand up,
We slowly swayed to be beautiful song,
"This can be our song, because today is A new day" He whispered, I put my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.


A new day
A new day

I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on, and don't shed a tear

Trough the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you

Hush, now I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe I've been touched by an angel with love

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun

Where it was dark
Now there's light
Where there was pain
Now there's joy
Where there was weakness
I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy

Hush, now I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe I've been touched by an angel with love

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun

The new day has come...

Hush, now I see a light in your eyes
All in the eyes of a boy

I can't believe I've been touched by an angel with love
I can't believe I've been touched by an angel with love

Hush now (ha-ah a new day ha-ah)
Hush now (ha-ah a new day ha-ah)

***BJ***

"Jace...will you please come with me to see Maggie?" I asked my boyfriend, I knew it was a lot to ask, seeing as Backstreet Boys and Nsync hadn't exactly got on so well, but I knew that if they got to know JC, and didnt judge him for being in Nsync, they would learn to like him and hopefully .... learn to love him like I do.

JC smiled at his girlfriend, he had never felt this way about anyone,
"sure" he whispered, then kissed his girlfriend, They spent the rest of the morning hanging out together, and decided to go later that afternoon to the hospital,

***Maggie***

AJ and I had stayed up untill early hours of the morning talking, I had told him everything that had happened to me since the day I left, we decided to take things slow, I know I had agreed to being his girlfriend but after a lot of talk, we decided to start off just as friends, I was afterall in no condition to have a boyfriend, and AJ needed to concentrate on getting help, rather then the stresses of a new relationship. In spite of everything that had happened over the last week, I was just glad to have my Alex back.

"hey" BJ called from the door way, I looked up and saw a very nervous JC standing behind her, I grinned at them and invited them in to the room, AJ look less then thrilled to see JC, but I nudged him and gave him a warning look, to tell him not to say anything, I huged BJ and smiled up at JC.

"okay Babe, i'm outta here, got somethings to do, i'll be back in a while" AJ said, bending over and kissing my cheek, I smiled at him and watched as he pushed past JC and out of the door.
"Bye Beej" he said from the doorway, she gave a little wave then turned back to me.

"Hey" JC said softly, I grinned thinking he was so cute,
"This is my best friend Maggie, Mags .... the love of my life JC" she introduced, I smiled up at JC.
"Its so nice to finally meet you ... BJ hasnt stoped talking about you" he said, I grinned at him,
"Its really cool to meet you too" I told him,
"come sit down" I said indicating to the two chairs next to my bed,
"I'm sorry .... Maybe I should just go" JC said, looking nervous as Nick walked in,
"Yeah, thats a brilliant idea, maybe the best one N sync has ever come up with" Nick replied from the door way, I grabbed JC's arm as he got up, and shot Nick a warning look telling him to shut up.
"No ... Stay JC its fine" I said, with a smile,
"yeah baby, don't listen to my brother he's just an asshole" BJ said softly, Nick groaned and stormed out of the room. I grinned at the two as we sat in silence.
"Are you sure its okay, I don't want to start any trouble" JC said again. I just laughed,
"Its fine, Besides; I'm the one who asked BJ to bring you, because I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you yet" I told him with a smile. BJ looked at me and smiled,
"Thank-you Maggie"BJ said softly, with tears in her eyes,
"For what?" I asked,
"For being the only person who is happy for me and JC," she answered, I pulled her into a hug,
"C'mon, Beej, the guys want you to be happy, they just got to get to know JC, besides, you two make the cutest couple ever" I said with a smile, just then Kevin, Kristen, Howie, Brian and Leighanne walked in.

"Hey Girl" Brian said walking up to the side of my bed, he looked at JC, but didnt say anything,
"Mags, meet Leighanne, my wife" he said proudly I smiled and said hello to her,
"How you feeling?" Howie asked,
"Like if anyone asks me that question again, i'm going to hurt them" i said laughing, if felt so good to laugh again.
everyone chuckled, I spoke to everyone for about half an hour, but felt bad, as JC was kind of left out.

"So Jace, hows tour going?" I asked, I knew that N Sync had just started with thier tour, he smiled at me, as all the guys looked at me annoyed, but I couldnt just leave him out,
"Its good" he said softly, the guys looked at each othe,
"We going to go, we'll come back later" Howie said, then smiled at JC,
"Bye Beej" the all said, I could see BJ was really upset,
"Was that really necessary?" she asked, JC sighed and wrapped his arms around her,
"Its okay" he said,
'NO ITS NOT" BJ shouted, tears falling from her eyes,
"everyone one thier girlfriends, i've been nothing but friendly and nice to, but do you think they can do that for me?" she cried as she hugged JC, thats when I realized that she really did love JC, more than any guy she had gone out with, Jc just hugged her, I felt so bad for them,
"I think i'm going to take her home" JC said to me with a sad smile, I nodded sadly and hugged BJ,
"If you need to talk, know that I am here, i'm not going anywhere" I told her, she smiled and hugged me back,
"Thanks" she said softly, I hugged JC as well,
"its was really nice meeting you JC, don't take any notice of the guys, believe me they can be jack asses" i said, with that BJ and JC were gone, I sat there thinking of them, I had missed the guys loads, but thinking of the way they treated JC made me want to phone them and scream at them.

~~~BJ~~~

The drive home was silent, I couldn't believe my brothers would treat JC like that, I didnt even realize that we were home untill JC switched off the car,
"Baby" Jc said softly, I turned to look at him and wipped my tears,
"I'm so sorry Jace" I said crying as I clung to him, I wanted everyone to love him as much as I did, I'm never speaking to any of them again I thought angrily,
"Its okay .... I .... I can't do this to you anymore" Jc said softly, I quickly looked up at him and saw tears in his eyes,
"No ..... No ..... JC please" i begged, he couldn't be breaking up with me, he just couldn't I thought to myself,
"BJ, Listen to me" he said sternly, I looked up at him,
"I love you to much to do that, I'm not letting you and the guys get into a huge fight, and never speak again" he said sadly, I sighed, but couldnt keep the tears in, how could he do this, I nodded my head and looked at him,
"I know" i said softly,
"but i love you" I cried, he pulled me into his arms,
"Baby ... you have no idea how hard this is for me, thats why I have to end this, I love you too much, you deserve someone who your brother likes, someone that can make you happy weather the guys are around or not" he said softly kissing me, I didn't want to let go, because I knew once I let go, this would be it, we would be finished, and the thought was killing me. After a while JC gently pushed me away,
"I ... gotta ... go" he chocked, climbed out his car, as the tears fell down my face, and watch as he drove away, when I couldnt see him anymore, I fell to the grass and sat thier sobbing, I couldnt stop the tears, all I could feel was my heart breaking into a million pieces.

3 hours later I was still sitting thier sobbing, it didn't matter what I did, the tears just kept falling,
"BJ" my mom shouted, as she came home and saw me sitting thier crying,
"Sweetie ..... whats wrong" she asked pulling me into a hug, but I couldnt speak I just clung to her and cried, once I calmned down, I started thinking about how the guys treated JC, and I got so angry, so I asked my mom to take me to the hospital, obviously I didnt tell her what happened, It felt like a long drive and my mind went back to JC, It had only been a few hours, but I missed him so much, no understood me or knew me they way he did.

Once we pulled up to the hospital parking I jumped out and stormed into the hospital, and went up to the floor that Maggie was in, I felt bad, I didnt want to fight with them in front of her, but they had to know what they did, and how much I was hurting.

~~~JC~~~

I couldn't take the heart ache anymore, I didnt want to lose BJ, but I had to do this, they always say, if you love some thing let it go, if it comes back its yours, if it doesn't it wasn't yours to start with, so I had to let BJ go, she was every thing I had ever dreamed of in a companion and even more, but I couldn't let her and the guys stop talking because of me, and I knew BJ well enough to know that, that's exactly what would happen if I didn't end it here, I pushed her back slightly,
"I .... gotta .... go" I chocked back, this was by far the hardest thing i'd ever had to do, I watched as she silently climbed out the car, then turned to look at me, tears running freely down her face, I felt so bad, but I could'nt change my mind so I knew I had to go now. I drove away quickly, not daring to look back at her, for fear of if i did, I would be back there pulling her into my arms, although thats all I wanted to do, I just couldn't do that to her, once i was out of sight, I pulled up on the side of the road and cried, I didn't cry often but this was one time I couldn't hold the tears back, after about half an hour, I dried my eyes and went to the hotel, we had the weekend off, but decided to hang out at Chris's hotel room.

"Damn, Bounce, where'd you get all that energy" Lance joked, Lance and Chris were trying to watch TV while Justin and Joey were being thier usual annoying selves, but I had to smile, I was happy for the distraction, anything to get BJ off my mind,

"Joshua" Justin said, slowly making his way towards me,
"Where have you been?" Lance asked from the couch,
"Went to visit BJ's friend Maggie with her" I answered as if it were no big deal,
"Woah ... were the Backstreet boys there" Chris asked, I sighed and nodded,
"You okay" Justin asked his playfullness wearing off,
"no .... I uh .... broke it off with BJ" I said sadly, I knew they guys didnt approve of me being with Bj, but they didnt know what we shared, because no-one was willing to give us a chance,
"I'm sorry man, I know how much you liked her" Joey said patting me on the back.


~~~Maggie~~~

I sat thier as the whole gang was thier, but I wasn't listening to them, I was just thinking about JC and BJ, I had almost got into a fight with them early on about the way they were acting.

"BJ" I shouted when i saw her, she was a totally mess, and her face was red she looked like she had been crying for hours,
"Maggie" she cried, and collapsed in my arms, Nick was by her side in minutes,
'BJ whats wrong" he asked, as he grabbed her and pulled her into a hug, but she pulled away just as quickly, and just glarred at him,
"Don't touch me" she said softly but harshly, he took a step back, surprized by her reaction,
"BJ ... tell us whats wrong" AJ said next to her,
"I never want to see or speak to any of you ever again" she said, I pulled her into a hug and knew it was to do with Jc,
"What' Nick asked upset by what she said,
"I HOPE YOU HAPPY" she screamed at them,
"JC BROKE UP WITH ME" she cried again, the guys sighed in relief,
"its okay, told he was a ass" nick said, trying to comfort his sister, BJ looked at him shocked.
'HE BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS" BJ screamed again, the guys looked shocked as she said that
"HE .... HE SAID I DESERVED SOMEONE BETTER, SOMEONE MY BROTHERS LIKE' she cried, then turned to me,
"Maggie .... he's the one I want .... I wanna .... wanna .... marry him" she cried, I quickly pulled her into my arms as she cried, by now Jane was at the door and knew what had happened,
"Maggie .... your my best friend ever" she said then looked at her brother,
"I can't believe your so horrible, I've never treated any of your girlfriends like that, don't you want me to be happy?" she asked, Nick looked tacken back, and you could see the guilt on all five of the boys,
"BJ ... how can you ask me that? Of course I want you to be happy .... yeah we all do" Brian and Nick said bending down, it was the first time BJ hugged nick, she clung to him so tightly, Nick hugged her back and they tried to get her up but her legs were to wobbly to walk, they placed her on the chair,
"Can you make the tears stop" she asked looking at AJ, the guys looked at each other, with worried glances the last time BJ had got to worked up was when Bob left,
"Beej ... you need to calm down a bit" Kevin said, kneeling infront of her,
"I can't .... I need him, you guys don't understand that" she said shouting, at them, Jane decided to take BJ back to the house, Nick and Kevin helped BJ to the car as Jane drove them home.

Once they got home BJ ran up to her room, and fell on the bed, she couldn't take this heart ache anymore, it was just too much, she got up and switched on the radio as Christina Aguilera's new song, "A voice within" come on the radio.


Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

Chorus:
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
You'll learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
Soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When your lost outside look inside to your soul

Chorus:
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within


Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
(Be strong)
You'll break it
(Hold on)
You'll make it
Just don't forsake it because
(No one can tell you what you can do)
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you

Chorus:
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
~~~Christina aguilera A voice within~~~