"Lakee, Rayn do not pull his tail." I watched my 2 year old twins playing on lounge room floor with our Pitball cross Shadow, Lakee (renounced Lake) looked up at my with bright blue eyes.

"No hurt mummy." He shook his head which i smiled at i love the way his blonde locks sway when he does that.

"You make sure you do right." He nodded. "Rayn?" She nodded too. Rayn (renounced Rain) Was a little beauty she looks like her brother except for her longer brown hair, and her blue eyes are a shade lighter blue than Lakee's. I got up to go make some dinner for us. It wasn't long after i had left Nick nearly three years ago that i found out i was going to be a mother. Nick would of just turned 29 and from what i have seen on t.v he still looks 26. I have heard that he has brought Jive Records and is still single. Nothing has made me happier then when i gave birth to the twins and over these past years watching them grow had been amazing. Rayn Bowe (renounced Bow) is a pretty quiet girl who just likes to follow and do everything her older twin by one minute does, while Lakke Tanner will talk when ever and where ever he can, From the moment Lakee could walk i really started to notice that not only does he look like his father he also acts like him.

"Where are my two favorite people in the world?" I had to laugh when i saw Jess walk in holding her very pregnant stomach in front of her.

"In the lounge room playing with Shadow."

"You can't laugh you were bigger than me." She said pointing her finger at me.

"I was carrying twins Jes." She just laughed and walked out into the lounge room. I grabbed the bowl of salad and started to put it on the plates. As Jess came back in.

"You know Nicole i can't wait for this little one to come out." I laughed as she slowly sat on one of the kitchen chairs

"So have you and Tommy finally agreed on a name?"

"Yep if it's a girl Summer Ann, and if it's a boy Conner Jacob." I nodded and placed the mac and chesse i had heated up on the plates.

"I like them they are both nice names. LAKEE, RAYN DINNER."

"Yeah their NORMAL names." Lakee and rayn climed onto their seats as i sat their plates in front of them. Then i sat Jess's in front of her.

"What are you talking about?" I grabbed Rayn's pill bottle off the top of the fridge.

"Rayn bowe and Lakee tanner." I shook my head. When i had first told Jess what i was going to name the twins she laughed for days. I like unusual names. I grabbed a pill out and replaced the bottle.

"No mummy."

"Rayn you know you have to have your tablet." She shook her head and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Ray no ike mummy."

"Rayn if you don't have it you'll get sick and you don't want to get sick. Do you?" She shook her head and took the pill. "Good girl baby." She smiled and started eating her dinner.



"Thankgod they are finally asleep." Jess looked up at me from where she was sitting on the couch.

"I really don't know how you do it on your own. I wouldn't beable to do it with one, let alone twins." I smiled. "Have you heard Nick's in town."

"What!" She nodded and looked back at the t.v.

"Yeah don't know why but i know his in town." I sat down next to jess. "You know maybe you should ring him." I shook my head.

"I've already talked to you about this."

"But maybe he could help you out with Rayn's doctors bills." I started to play with my hands.

"I'm doing fine with them. The few songs i'm selling are covering it." She shook her head and stood up, rubbing her back.

"I'm going to head home i'm starting to get tired but i'll be back tomorrow night and we'll have a good talk about this." She turned and left before i could even open my mouth to reply. I looked out the window at the ocean view, i have always loved the ocean at night it's just so beautiful and calm. I sat there and let everything ran through my mind. I was once told Life is a test, and I guess i didn't take very good notes.

"Mummy, Mummy" I woke up when i felt the bed move. I opened my eyes to see Lakee sitting there eyes wide opened and hair sticking up in every direction. I looked at the clock and groaned, How kids can wake up at six o'clock with so much energy i'll never know.

"What are you doing Prince?" He signed and threw his little hands up in the air, letting them fall back down to his sides. blowing a puff of air through his lips he replied.

"Beekie mummy." I giggled at the way he said it. It was more of an statement than an answer. I looked around the room then looked back at Lakee with my eyebrows raised.

"Where's Rayn?" He scrached the back of his head while his eyes flicked from the door back to me.

"bed she no want get up." I felt my eyebrows narrow in as i climbed out of bed. It's wierd for Rayn not to get up when Lakee does, she hates to be away from her brother. I walked into their yellow walled bedroom with Lakke wondering in behind me.

"Sweetie are you okay baby?" I asked as i sat on her bed, ranning a hand through her hair. I felt her forehead was abit warm and her face looked pale.

"Tired mummy." I bit my lip and got off the bed walking over to the twins closet. I dressed Lakee in a blue shirt with white overalls and ran a brush through his blonde hair putting his blue socks and Blue clues shoes on. I went over to Rayn and dressed her in a Pink top and white overalls.

"Where go mummy?" I brushed out Rayn's light brown hair putting it in a ponytail.

"We're taking Rayn to see the doctor Lakee." I said as i put on her pink socks and Brats shoes. I could see Lakee was going to starting complaining but he stopped when i gave his the 'don't even start' look. He hates going to the doctors, Lakee is an ative boy he can't keep still for more than 3 minutes. I carried Rayn down into the kitchen and grabbed a chocolate poptart out of a box for Lakee to eat in the car. I strapped Rayn into her Brat's carset and then Lakee into his Blue Clue's one. As soon as i pulled my ford taurus on to the road Lakee started to voice out his distaste of going to the doctor's.

"No ike mummy." I groaned.

"Lakee Rayn's not well. She needs to see the doctor."

"But mummy." I looked at him through my review mirror.

"Lakee if you don't stop i'm-" I was cut off when i was jerked forward. I looked up to see i had rear ended a BMW. I banged the steering wheel and looked into the back at the twins.

"Are you's okay?" They both nodded their heads.

"Shit i can't have this happening now. how am i going to pay for this." I was cut off when i heard a knock at my window.

"Don't move." I said as i climbed out rubbing my forehead. Where did this headache come from?

"I'm so sorry i didn't see you stop i'm in a rush you see i'm taking my daughter to the doctor she's sick and-"

"Nicole?" As soon as i heard the voice my eyes snapped open and i looked up only to stare into blue eyes identical to my young son's.

"Nick." I felt my voice catch and my hands start to trimble. Oh god not now. I saw Nick look into the back window of my car, his eyes connected with my daughter's then he looked over at my son for a couple of seconds then back to me.

"What?...them?... Nicole?" He's face held a look of confusion.

"Nick can we please do this swapping insurrance thing because i really need to get going." He looked back at the twins then back to me.

"You said your talking her to the doctor's." I groaned. Me and my big mouth.

"Look Nick i really need to go."

"Why? What's wrong with her? Is she sick?" Well Nick when someone goes to the doctor they normally are. When i heard a cry came from the car i span around to see Rayn had started crying.

"Baby what's wrong?" I asked as i opened her door and kneeled in to ran my hand over her head.

"Mummy, mummy." I could feel her temperature had gone up and with her condition that is not good. I grabbed a peice of paper out of my bag and a pen, i wrote down my insurrance details and gave it to Nick.

"Here look i have to go ring them and they'll fix it up." I got back into the car only to find out the bloody thing wouldn't start. I bang the steering wheel and felt tears prick my eyes. Lakee had joined his sister in her crying and my headache had started to get worse. I heard the back door open, i jumped out of the car just as Nick was lifting Rayn out.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He shot me a glare and cradled Rayn closer to him.

"She needs a doctor and your car wont start. So don't start with me and grab your son." He snapped as he grab Rayn's carseat out and walk up to his car.

"It's okay Lakee." I said as i grabbed him out along with his carseat slamming the door shut behind me. After we had got the kids into his car, We moved mine out of the road and locked it up. Right now i didn't care how i got to the doctor's just as long as i got there.

It didn't take the twins long to fall asleep in the back of Nick's BMW which i was thankful for. I looked out the window as i breathed in through my nose i realised how much i miss Nick's smell he still had that smell the one that a baby has after a bath.

"How old are they?" That snapped me out of my chain of throughts. I looked over at Nick watching the car infront of us.

"Huh."

"How old are they?" I bit my lip as i looked over my shoulder at the sleeping twins.

"Just turned two." He nodded his head which cause his blonde hair on his foehead swayed, i couldn't help but smile at how it was the same thing that happens to Lakee's hair when he moves his head.

"Twins." I nodded and returned my glaze to the window. "What are their names?"

"Lakee and Rayn." He glaced at me when he heard that.

"What are their full names?"

"Lakee Tanner Brooks and Rayn Bowe Brooks." He shook his head and gribbed they steering wheel tighter.

"You couldn't even give them MY last name. First you don't tell me i have two kids, and not only that you didn't even give then my last name." That had me look at him. His mad because i didn't give them his last name, you've got to be kidding me!

"Nick-" Before i could even finish he smacked the top of the steering wheel with his palms.

"DON'T you even dare tell me their not mine. All you have to do is look at him and you can see his mine." I glanced at the twins to see if they had awoken, i was glad to see them still deep asleep. They didn't need to heard this converstation.

"First don't raise you voice you'll wake them. Second i wasn't even thinking of saying that they an't yours. And thridly if i had given them your last name how do you think it would of went down, espeacilly with how much Lakee looks like you. I don't want that kind of life for my children." Nick didn't say anything as he drove around the corner. I throught all was going to be left at that, but knowing Nick i knew it wouldn't be.

"Our's." My head span around at that comment.

"What."

"Our's. They are OUR children." I glared at him.

"They are MY children. You havn't been around, so don't you try taking a role in their lives." He stopped at a red light and looked at the twins then to me. He lowered his voice and moved his face closer to mine.

"I havn't been around that's right. But not by CHOICE, if you had picked up the fucking phone and rang me i would of been here as quick as i could of. So don't you DARE talk to me about not been around. Iam still their FATHER wither you like it or not." I stared into his eyes until he broke away and noticed the light had turned green. "Why are you taking her to the doctor's."

"Because she's sick." He opened he's mouth, but closed it again when he saw the doctor's building. As soon as the car stopped i jumped out and walked around to Rayn's door opening it.

"Rayn baby come on we're at the doctor's." She opened her eyes and gave a little groan then closed them. I held her in one arm and got the carseat out, when i looked up i saw that Nick had got Lakee who is now wide awake out of the car.

"Lakke hold my pants leg and don't let go." He did what he was told and we walked into the waitting room where i sat the twins on one of the benches then sat Rayn's carseat by the wall.

"Where's his carseat? you can bring it in and leave it by Rayn's. We'll get a cab home." He looked at the twins then walked up yo me and looked me straight in the eyes. Which is hard with be only been five foot six.

"You can't really think i'm going to leave. I know about them now Nicole and i want to be their father. I'm not the 26 year old you left 3 years ago. I've grown up and i want my kids to know me as well as i want to know them. IF you try to stop me i WILL take you to court. I will get the BEST laywer's and i'll win and when i do i'll take them back to cali with me." He stopped to take a glance at the twins then glared at me. "And you can COUNT on that Nicole."

"Nick it doesn't have to go that far. If you want to be apart of their lives that's fine Nick, i wouldn't stop you." He nodded and mutted 'good'. I walked up to Beth the lady behind the conter we know everybody here because we came in for Rayn's regular check-ups.

"Hey Beth. Rayn needs to see Dr Pitt." She looked over at Rayn concered.

"I'll let Greg now. We're not busy at the moment so it shouldn't be a long wait." I thanked her and went and sat down picking Rayn up and placing her on my lap. It was 10 minute lqter that we were called in, i stood up and turned to Nick to tell him to stay here and watch Lakee but he was already standing while he held our little boy's hand. I just nodded and walked into Dr Pitt's office.

"Hey Greg. she woke up this morning with a heavy fever, and i throught it was best to bring her in." He nodded and looked over at Nick. "Greg this is Nick Carter. Their father." Nick stepped for and held out his hand.

"Nice to met you Doctor." Greg shook his hand and nodded while saying 'same here'

"Okay baby Rayndrops let have a look at you." I sat playing with Lakke's hair as Dr Pitt checked over Rayn. I looked at Nick to see him sitting nerously watching Dr Pitt.

"It looks like little one here has the flu. Grive her the normal cough medince and keep an eye on her. If she get's worse take her straight to the hospital." I glance at Nick then back to Doctor Pitt.

"So it will be fine to give to her even with her pills?" I saw out of the concer of my eye, Nick look at me with wide eyes.

"Oh yes they will be fine together. How are you's going with her pills. She'd nearly be ready for a refill."

"She has about two weeks worth left, so she's find at the moment." He nodded and gave Lakee a lollipop while telling him to be a good boy and look after his sister. Lakee face lit up and he nodded while he shoved the lollipop in his mouth. We left and we back out to Beth while i was fixing things up with Beth, Nick grabbed Rayn's carseat and went outside.

"Are we keeping her appointment?"

"Oh yes Beth that's her refill appointment so we'll be back then." She smiled at Lakee and Rayn.

"You two be good. You hear me." I smiled as they nodded. I thanked Beth and went out to Nick's car. Nick picked up Lakee and put him in his carseat as i put Rayn's in her's.


It didn't take Nick long to get us home and i gave Rayn some medince and her pill then put her to bed. I stuck my head into the play room to see Lakee was playing with his puzzles, so i left him to it and went down to the kitchen to finish cleaning it up. I walked in to see Nick standing in the middle of the room looking at Rayn's pill bottle.

"She has one, twice a day." He looked up at me.

"I can read. Why is she on them? How long will she be on them?" I took the bottle out of his hand and placed it back on top of the fridge.

"She's problly have to have them for the rest of her life." I turned to look at him, he stood there waitting for more. I signed and closed my eyes. "She was born with a hole in her heart. The tablets keep the fluid in her body down so it doesn't put pressure on or around her heart and stops it." I opened my eyes to see Nick's wided eyes looking at me shocked. Then he blinked and looked around the room.

"I'll get her the best doctor's in the world." I rolled my eyes. and turned around to fix Lakee a sandwitch for lunch.

"All has been done that can be. The doctors said she could live a normal full life, we just have to keep an eye on her."

"But what happens when it grows bigger, what happens when it gets worse." I span around and glared at him.

"She's not brian Nick. Yes it could get worse but i'm trying to think of the possative things. I don't want to hear the other crap." He stood there slient until i turned around and went back to Lakee's sandwitch.

"I understand Nicole but you have to keep in mind what could happen." I shook my head which made him quiet. As soon as i heard him sign i knew he was going to drop it for now. "Why did you leave?" I stopped my hand that was reaching for the knife.

"Because i needed too." I heard Nick take a step towards me as i grabbed the knife.

"That's bullshit. I need to know why you left Nicole. When i came back and saw that note i didn't know what to think. I throught we were going to finally be happy but then you up and left." I could hear that edge to his voice witch ment he was getting angry.

"I didn't want to leave, i really didn't. But Luke came around and he, He would of killed you Nick. I couldn't let that happen." I didn't want to remember that day. I didn't want to remember the fear i felt when Luke turned up and the pain i felt when i left.

"You should of came to me, You should of rang." I span around and looked at him.

"I was scared Nick, Luke would of killed you and i did the only thing i could think of to keep you safe. Then i had the twins and i DID pick up the phone to ring you, i picked it up a 100 times over the past three years but everytime i did i would think what if Luke came back or what if you didn't want anything to do with this, with them all because you hated me for leaving. then i started to think of your lifestyle how the twins would grow up in the spotlight and i didn't want that for them everybody seen what they do, everybody knowing who they are. I did and still do what them to know you and i have told them about you Nick, they know who you are and what you do but i want them to have a normal childhood. I want the people they met to know them as Lakee and Rayn not as Nick Carter's children. It wasn't because i wanted to be a bitch and keep them away from you, I just wanted to give them a childhood any other child would have."

Nick stood quiet looking at me until he took another step towards me and lifted his hand up to wipe the tear i felt of my check.

"Mummy." Both of us broke eye contact and looked over at the door when Lakee's small voice had came from.

"What's wrong prince." I said as i walked over to him and kneeled down infront of him he put his little hands on my cheeks.

"No cry mummy." I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I'm fine baby. These are happy tears." He looked from me to Nick with disbeliving eyes.

"No ell mummy." Nick kneeled down so he could come down to Lakee's level.

"I wouldn't yell at your mummy buddy." Lakee let go of my face took a step towards Nick and stood there for a minute looking at him, then span around on his little feet and ran up the stairs. I stood up and looked at a confused and hurt Nick. I took a step towards him when i heard feet thumping down the stairs. Lakee came up to me with a picture frame. He turned it around and i saw a picture of Nick i put in the twins room just before they were born.

"Daddy." He said pointing to Nick while shaking the photo. I knew it wouldn't of been long untill he worked it out but i wasn't expecting for him to work it out this quick. I nodded my head that was enought to confirm it. Lakee bent down and placed the picture frame on the ground, standing up he walked over to the still kneeling Nick and stuck his hand out towards Nick.

"Hi ice to eat you." I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep myself from laughing out lourd, Nick smiled and shook his hand.

"I'm very happy to meet you Lakee." Lakee nodded and stepped back then turned back to me.

"No cry mummy." and with that he ran back up the stairs. I shook my hand and picked up the photo off the floor placing it on the kitchen table. Nick looked at it then back to me while standing up.

"You really did tell them." I nodded and went back to cut Lakee's sandwitch. "He's a great little boy you've done a great job." I nodded again and yelled for Lakee to come back down. I heard him come down the stairs and walk into the room just as i placed his plate on the table.

"What would you like on yours Nick." I asked as i walked past him back to the sink, he came up behind me and looked over my shoulder looking at the food i had placed out.

"Cornbeef and pickles thanks." I nodded and started making his sandwitch. Nick went over and sat across from Lakee at the table. "So little man what things do you like?" Lakee looked up at him and swallowed what he had in his mouth.

"Songs, balls, games, books, mummy and Ray." I heard Nick giggle. "You?" Lakee asked taking another bite out of his chesse sandwitch.

"I like all of them." That had Lakee look up.

"Mummy and Ray too?" Nick smiled at him and thanked me as i sat his plate down infront of him.

"Yep and i like you too." That made Lakee blush and look down at his plate.

"You here always?" Nick looked up at me and i shugged my shoulders returning to my sandwitch making.

"I hope so buddy. i really hope so." Lakee finished his lunch and jumped off the chair reaching for Nick's hand.

"Come look, come look." Nick laughed and nodded at him, looking at me as he got dragged out the door. The one thing i could think of as i started cleaning up was, It felt so good to see father and son together.

I took me abit to get Lakee down to sleep that night mainly because Nick had giving him enough sugar to satisfy any sweet tooth. Rayn had woken up and had some soup with her medicne then fell back to sleep very easily. When i made my way back into the lounge room i found Nick sitting on my couch waitting for me.

"So." I felt like slapping myself in the head, the first time i get Nick fully alone the first thing i saw is 'so' how more pathetic can i be. Nick rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the t.v which is on some channel on mute.

"How are we going to do this?" I knew he was going to ask this i had even gone through this in my head all afternoon while Lakee had kept Nick entertained, but my mind still come up blank. "I'm still a pretty busy guy but i'll make time for them."

"I don't want you coming into their lives and end up hurting them Nick." He looked up at me and nodded his head.

"I wont. I promise i will never hurt them." I bit my lip and let my eyes wonder around the room. Before i could open my mouth i heard a weak 'Mummy' I looked over to see Rayn leaning against the door frame half asleep, while holding her teddy bear by one arm.

"What's wrong Princess?" She looked from me too Nick and quietly walked our way. I put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing when i saw Rayn smack Nick with her teddy bear then she ran over to me and i gathered her into my arms. I looked at Nick who had an look mixed with shock and amusement on his face.

"Oke up mummy." She looked at Nick then put her head into my shoulder. "OJ mummy." I nodded and went in to get her some ornage juice. then put her back to bed. When i got back into the lounge room Nick was sitting looking at the the t.v again.

"How about you guys moving in with me in Cali." I looked at him with wide eyes. Move back to Cali! i came here to get away from Cali.

"No." He rubbed the back of his neck and signed. "How about you can come down and see them when ever you want and one a year they can came and stay with you for two weeks."

"Once a month they came and stay with me?" I really didn't want to fight with him with the kids upstairs sleeping.

"One week once a month." He nodded his head. "I've gotta head to bed. When are you heading back to Cali?"

"In the morning." He rubbed the back of his neck again. "Can i take them back with me for a couple of days?" I looked at the door way then back to Nick.

"Rayn's too sick to travel at the moment." He nodded.

"Can i take Lakee?" That made me go quiet. The twins only time the twins have been separated once not long after they were born and Rayn had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. Maybe it'd be a good idea for Lakee to spend some alone time with his father. And might as well let Nick get used to one before both are thrown to him.

"Okay only for three days." His face lit up and he nodded. He stood up and stretched his arms over his head.

"I better get going. Can i go up and see them before i go?" I nodded and stood up following him as he made his way up the stairs. I stood by the door watching him walk up to Rayn's bed and said something to her while ranning he's hand through her hair finishing with kissing her cheek, then he went and did the same to Lakee. We made our way to the front door Nick stopped and looked at me while he held the door opened.

"I'll be here at about 8 o'clock alright." I nodded and shifted my feet. "Thanks Nicole." He said kissing my cheek then walked out the door.

I woke the next morning to see Lakee laying next to me looking at me. I smiled at him and ran my hand over his head.

"Good morning prince." He smiled at me and wrapped his arm around me as much as his little arms would allow him. I sat up pulling him into my lap with him facing me. I looked over at the clock to see it was six o'clock in the morning. "Lakee how would you like to go and stay with daddy for a couple of days?" He looked up at me quietly thinking.

"You dan Ray come?" I shook my head at him.

"No baby just you and daddy. Rayn needs to stay here till she gets better." He went quiet again looking around the room. "Daddy would really love it if you went." When he looked at me i could see the tears building up in his eyes which was making me start to feel bad. "It will only be for a couple of days and if you don't like it you can ring me and come home."

"Ray too, mummy too." He said it with a couple of tears falling from his eyes. I pulled him into me hugging him. I could feel my own tears build up as i hugged him while he kept whimpering 'No mummy,no,no' "Baby i'll ring you every night and you can ring me when ever you want to. You'll have fun with daddy." I leaned over and picked up the phone that started ringing. "Hello."

"Hey." He must have a six sense or something.

"How did you get my number?" Lakee had quiet down to listen to who i was talking to on the phone.

"Oh i saw it by the phone and wrote it down." I have to remember to throw that out sometime today. "I'm just ringing to see if you were awake." That was lame carter, you was ringing to remind me that your taking Lakee.

"Yeah i'm awake. I'm having abit of trouble with him. He doesn't want to go." That had Lakee starting to whimper again.

"Maybe i should came around." Why? so he can have two people to play up infront of.

"If you want to." His end of the phone went quiet and i throught he had hanged up.

"Yeah i'll be there in ten." I heard his side click which let me know he had hanged up. I looked at Lakee who was leaning against me holding a bit of the blanket in his hands.

"Come on let's go get you some breekie." I placed him on the floor and put my dressing grown on. I looked in on Rayn who was still sleeping peacefully, i was glad that her temp had gone down and decided to ley her sleep some more.

"What do you want prince? toast? pancakes?" I asked as i walked into the kitchen. I turned the t.v on to blue's clue's as he climbed onto his chair.

"Pan." I nodded and went to making them. It's going to be hard not having him here even through it'd only be for a couple of days but i havn't been away from them for more than a couple of hours. I decided to go pack his bag while he was eating and watching Blue's Clue's. Just as i had finished packing his backpack i heard the doorbell. I closed the twins bedroom door so Rayn wouldn't be woken up and went and let Nick in.

"His in the kitchen eating." Nick nodded and walked in. He went straight into the kitchen and as soon as the door closed behind him i heard Lakee voice out his dissapointment of seeing Nick. I was about to walk in there when the door swang open and Lakee toddled out on his short legs up to me.

"No Mama." Was all he said as his little arms wrapped around my legs. I signed and looked up at Nick who had moved into the doorway and was leaning against the wooden door frame, i even felt the need to cry when i saw the sadness in his eyes. I unwrapped Lakee's arms from my legs and crouched down to his level.

"I know your worried about going baby, but daddy really wants to spend a couple of days with you and you'll be home before you know it. I promise i'll ring you every night and you can ring me whenever you want. And if you really really want to come home you can, your daddy wont stop you from coming home." I pushed his hair back off of his forhead as i consoled him. Lakee looked at me with tearfilled eyes then looked over at Nick.

"That's right buddy if at anytime you want to come home i'll bring you home." Lakee bite his bottom lip as he throught about it before noding his head. I smiled and kissed his forhead.

"Your a good boy baby. Now how about we get you changed so you can go on the plane." That had his eyes light up and a big smile graced his face.

"Hane." I laughed and stood up, we went into the lounge room when his clothes were waitting.

"Yeah baby, your going on a plane." He clapped his hands and repeated 'Hane' over and over while i got him changed, it didn't help that Nick was sitting on the couch singing along with him. I shook my head and stood up as soon as i had finished. "How are you's getting to the airport?" Nick stopped bouncing on the couch and raised his eyes from the bob the builder book he was looking at.

"A cab."

"I would drive you's but Rayn's still sleeping and i don't want to wake her, plus Lakee would put on a show full of fireworks if i went with you's." Nick nodded and stood up reaching for the phone. "How about i ring the cab and you can go in and see Rayn before you leave."

"Good idea." Was all he said before he walked out the door and heading up to the twin's room. I ordered the cab and went into clean the kitchen once i had noticed Lakee was settled watching cartoons on telly. I had just started washing the dirty dishes when i saw Nick step up next to me and grab the teatowel that was hanging on the wall rack. "Thank you." That had me surprised that i even dropped the plate i was cleaning back into the soapy water.

"What for?"

"For giving me two beautiful children, for letting me have Lakee for a couple of days, for raising them as great as you have, just for been you." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath when i felt my heart skip a beat, even after all these years he could still make my heart thump like no one else had, he could still make me lose my breath, he could still start up butterflys in my stomach and make my knees weak.

"They have apart of you in them too Nick you have also made them the beautiful children they are today." Nick put the teatowel he was holding down and placed his hand on my shoulder turning me so i was facing him. We looked at each other and i could see Nick drawing closer, i felt his breath on my lips. I closed my eyes waitting for his touch, just as i felt his lips i was drawen back when i heard a horn go off. "Cab's here." I said as i stepped back. I span around and headed into get Lakee.

"Prince it's time to go." He looked up from the t.v and i could see the doubt ranning through his mind. "The plane is waitting for you." That had his eyes light up and he jumped up and ran into my arms. "As soon as you get to daddy's you ring me and Rayn should be up by then, you can talk to her on the phone okay."

"Hane." I laughed and walked out to the front door with him.

"Give mummy a kiss." He happily gave me one and a big cuddle. "I love you."

"Ove you too." I kissed his cheek and gave him to Nick. He held Lakee on his hip and swang Lakee's backpack over his other shoulder.

"Ring me when you get home okay."

"Of course." Nick leaned down and kissed my lips before he turned and walked down to the cab with Lakee waving over his shoulder at me yelling "Bye Mummy, ove you." I watched them get in the cab and smiled and waved as i watch Lakee waving at me throw the back window as the cab made it's way down the street. I didn't close the door until the cab was out of sight, i leaned against it and closed my eyes. I didn't know what hurt more, that Lakee has gone for a couple of days for the first time in his life or that i have once again let myself watch Nick walk away.

I cleaned and moved around my house like i was in a trance it felt wierd not hearing Lakee and Rayn's voices or pitter patter of their little feet. I knew it wouldn't be long until Rayn got out of bed and i was going to have to explain to her why her counterpart wasn't around. For the last hours since Nick and Lakee left i have been glancing at the telephone willing it to ring just so i could hear my little boys voice, knowing that Nick wouldn't be fair from his side didn't affect me one bit and as i wiped down the kitchen counter for the sixth time i groaned to myself knowing even i didn't believe that. The ringing of the phone broke me out of my thoughts and i scrambled for the phone.

"Hello."

"Mummy." I broke out into a smile as soon as i heard his soft excitied voice. He started to speed talk as i listened to him i made out the words 'Hane' 'Daddy' 'High' 'Big' I laughed to myself. "Ray?"

"I'll see if she's awake Prince." I heard him say a quick okay before he started repeating all he told me to Nick who i knew would of been sitting next to him. I poked my head through the twins bedroom door seeing Rayn sitting up in bed watching t.v. "Baby Lakee's on the phone, he wants to say hello." She looked up at me confused for a minute before she reached out for the phone. I sat back and watched her speak her baby talk confused, then laughed to myself pictureing Nick looking the same way at Lakee. After 5 minutes my mind landing on the phone bill for the first time i remember this must be costing Nick. "Rayn say bye to your brother." She said a quick bye and love you then head the phone out to me. I kissed her forehead as i took the phone. "Lakee can you put daddy on the phone, and i'll talk to you later. Okay baby i love you." He said a quick love you too then i heard to phone move around knowing he was handing it over to his father.

"Hey. He sure is your son he can talk all day."

"No Nick, if you listen more closely you'll see he talks just like you." I heard him chuckle. "So how was the plane ride over?"

"Now he doesn't take after me with planes. We hit alittle turbulence and for the rest of the ride he was yelling for more turbulence, that was his favouite part of the flight." So he did get something off of me the love for plane turbulence.

"So his behaving?"

"Of course he is. his just taken off after Layla." I looked over to our Pit bull cross Shadow who was sleeping on the end of Rayn's bed.

"He loves dogs. He wont leave her alone now that his spotted her." We fell quiet and listened to each others breathing. I looked down at Rayn who was deeply intrested with Barbie and Skip. I quietly moved out of her room and went downstairs. "What will this do to the kids?"

"Huh." I Leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes.

"Them flying back and forth all the time." I heard him let out a deep breath.

"I want to be their father Nicole. I wanna see them grow, be there when they lose their first tooth, see their first day in school. I wanna show Lakee how to play basketball, show him how to fish, teach him how to drive a car, a boat, talk to him about girls, school, sports, I wanna play tea parties with Rayn, I scared the shit out of the first boy that takes her out on a date, i wanna complain about the phone bill she'll raise talking to all her girlfriends, i wanna give her away to the man she'll marry one day and tell her how beauitful she looks. I wanna be there when they one day give me grandchildren and tell them how proud i am. I wanna be there for everything Nicole." I felt the back of my eyes burn with the tears i knew were coming. "Even more i wanna be by your side through it all. I wanna see you cry when we leave them at school the first time, I wanna see you smile with pride when Lakee shows you the first fish he catchs or Rayn shows you how pretty she's dressed one of her many dolls. I wanna see the worried glance the first time they get behind the wheel of a car. I wanna be there to hold you when you cry the first time they move out of home to live their lives as adults. I've never stopped loving you Nicole."

"I have to go Nick, Rayn's up and hungry."

"Alright i'll ring you later." I didn't reply and hunged up. How can he just say sweet things like that and make me fall in love with him all over again.