Four days.

I' ve been in this god-forsaken hole for four days. You'd think I would be used to it by now, considering all the hours I have logged in these places, but I'm not. At least not this time. Somewhere between 4:00 and 4:30 AM on Tuesday, Brian, Nick and I were all admitted into the hospital. It was now Saturday afternoon and I was supposed to have gotten discharged yesterday morning. I royally screwed that one up.

Four days and I was ready to get out of here. The place was almost haunting me. Well actually, I can t really count it as four days because I didn't even regain consciousness until late in the day on Wednesday. I think. Everyone was afraid that I had slipped into a coma, but I for one was glad that I didn't wake up until I did. Before I had passed out in that basement I was sure Nick was dead and was afraid that Brian was too. Little did I know that Brian was a little beat up, but mostly okay. Bruised ribs were probably the most serious thing, but they let him out Wednesday afternoon. And Nick, he was okay. But had I woken up after arriving to the hospital, I would have learned that they had almost lost him twice.

Twice.

Once on the way to the hospital and once in surgery. Apparently everyone went through hell for several hours, not knowing if he was going to pull through. That is something I wouldn't have been able to deal with. My emotionally stability was shaky enough as it was. By the time I had woken up, he was out of danger. Now we all just had a long road to recovery.

It was actually thanks to the nightmares that I was still here. That last coma sleep was the last time I knew a good night's sleep. Ever since then I had been having terrifying nightmares. The most common ones were where Marcus was still alive and broke into the hospital. I was forced to watch him kill all my friends, helpless to stop him. Another involved the things that he had planned on doing to me against my will. The last was that he really did kill Nick. The were all recurring and every one woke me up, drenched in sweat, panting and even screaming.

"Lizz! It's me, Kevin! Wake up!"

"Noooooo. Please, Nick! Oh God, please!!!" I screamed, thrashing against the arms that restrained me.

"Lizz! You need to wake up! You're having a nightmare! Nick's fine!" That same distant voice yelled.

"She's going to tear her sutures! Lizz, you ve got to stop thrashing!" Another anxious voice floated around me and another set of hands tried to still my movements.

"Noooo! LET ME GO!" I yelled, my yelling turning into cries of pain when I felt a bunch of popping across my ribs. My eyes flew open at the new sensation, trying to make out the blurry faces that were above me. Kevin was holding my shoulders down while two other nurses were also trying to hold me down. Brian appeared in the doorway looking really worried. I sank back, exhausted and disoriented. When I looked down, I saw blood seeping through my gown and gasped.

"Lizz, you tore your sutures. We re going to give you a sedative to calm you down." One of the nurses said as she quickly stuck the needle in my arm. I couldn't even protest before the sedative knocked me out.


When I woke up from that, I was informed that they had to redo all my sutures and I would be here for another few days. I was not happy. Since then they have been giving me something to sleep, but it didn t keep the nightmares away. It just made it harder to wake up from them.

I wasn't only one having nightmares. Nick and Brian had been having them almost every time they went to sleep too. Ever since my little episode they started giving Nick pills too so he could sleep. I think they were afraid he was going to do the same thing I did.

As soon as I found out that I wouldn't be getting to go home till Monday at the earliest, I started making a concentrated effort to get on my feet as much as I could bear. It hurt like a bitch to walk, but I was never going to get stronger unless I pushed myself. Friday afternoon I took a walk around the floor and that night I took a few more laps. This afternoon Brian and Kevin took me down the little coffee shop. My mocha was the best thing I had tasted in a long time. On the way up there was this little girl in the elevator that about made me cry. She couldn't have been older than 4 or 5 and had a head full of blond curls. As soon as she saw Kevin and Brian, her little brown eyes got so wide and she smiled like it was Christmas. What got me teary was that she didn't ask them for an autograph or to sing or anything, but instead, she sang for them. It was too precious. We talked about her all the way to Nick and I's floor. I was in a considerable amount of pain since this was the most I had exerted myself since I'd been up, but I was enjoying being on my feet too much to say anything. As we got to Nick's room I immediately noticed several nurses in there. Two of them were getting ready to leave, but one of them was making notes in his chart. He looked up at us when we appeared in his doorway and I don't even know if I can describe the look that passed over his face. He was breathing hard and sweat beaded his forehead. The frantic look in his eyes subsided when he saw us and he seemed to fill with relief. He opened his arms and said in a hoarse voice, "group hug, guys."

I exchanged worried glances with Brian before going over and carefully easing myself on the edge of his bed. A moment later we were all wrapped up in a big embrace and the first thing that came to mind was that he had had a nightmare. We finally broke apart and I studied his face. He looked particularly shook up. "What was it about?" I asked softly.

Nick only shook his head.

"Dude, I came back in the room and he was thrashing all over the place. He about busted his sutures." AJ told us, hitching a hip on the other side of the bed.

"Ew, hun, you don't want to end up like me. What happened? Come on, holding it in isn't healthy." I encouraged.

He gave me a pointed look, knowing I was doing just that.

"After it all was over, we held a press conference to tell everyone that I never died and to tell them that it was all over. At the end we decided we were going on vacation to Fiji. Except our plane crashed and we got stranded on some little island. We thought it was deserted, but it was inhabited by a bunch of violent natives." He stopped and took a breath. "They shot Brian with a poison arrow by accident, when they were supposed to hit Lizz and I."

Brian smiled. "A poison arrow?"

"Shuddup, it gets worse. I bargained with the chief to be their slave so they would leave the rest of you alone, but Lizz, you freaked out or something and they made you a slave too."

I snickered, wincing as it pulled the sutures. "Just like me, huh?"

"Shuddup. Anyway, they decided they wanted Kevin as a breeder too, like they wanted Brian for, and he almost got killed on a rope bridge." Nick continued.

"A rope bridge, Nicky? You watching too much Indiana Jones?" Kevin smiled.

"Whoa whoa, wait a second! They wanted Kevin and Brian and not me?!" AJ exclaimed indignantly.

Nick rolled his eyes. "You know, you freaked out about that in the dream too. You are a dumbass, ya know that?"

AJ started to say something back, but Brian beat him to it. "Go on, Nick."

"They made us do all kinds of crap and the chick, Lelani, that was taking care of Brian was a psycho. She had a thing for Brian or something and hated Lizz and I. Right before I woke up, they made us go to an arena. They wanted us to fight a big lizard."

We all sort of cracked up at that. I was picturing a mini godzilla and I figured the rest of the guys were too. Nick glared at us for a minute, before smiling too. "I guess it does seem kind of far-fetched, but it was scary as hell. I sacrificed myself so you guys could escape."

"Like I would let Spike eat you while the rest of us ran to save our hides." I protested.

Nick looked at me and his jaw dropped. "You...you said..."

" What?" I asked anxiously. He looked totally shocked at whatever I just said. "You really think I would let you get eaten?"

"No, no... nevermind. Anyway we managed to escape, but Sp-, the lizard, chewed up my leg so I was holding everyone back. Lizz ran ahead for help and I decided to go back to save you guys."

"Awwww." We all chorused in unison.

"Shuddup. So anyway, they captured me and Lelani made me drink some potion that altered my thinking and it made me think that all you guys were the evil ones." He stopped, not wanting to say anymore.

"You said we were all dead. Did they capture the rest of us too?" Howie asked.

Nick hesitated. "No, I um, I killed you guys. With arrows. The potion started to wear off and I didn't want to do it, but I couldn t stop. The last arrow I shot went through you, Brian, and into Lizz." He finished, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Aww, hun. It s okay, none of it s true. We're all okay." I said softly, wrapping my arms around him.

"Nightmares suck." He mumbled.

I smiled sadly. "Yeah they do."

"Come on Lizzard, time for you to go back to your room. You are ghost-white." Kevin laid a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"No you aren't, come on." Kevin said firmly.

"Alright, only if you play me another game of chess." I said, batting my eyelashes.

Kevin sighed. "Again?"

I nodded. "Yup, please?" I pouted.

"Aw, who can resist that?" Nick snickered at me.

"You be quiet." I ordered, smiling. Okay, so I was in a little pain, but it wasn t like it hasn t been worse. At least I would attempt to beat Kevin again. He won most of the time, but I got him sometimes. I blamed my losses on the drugs I was on.

Nick watched Kevin lead Lizz out of his room. Howie decided to join them while AJ went outside for a smoke break, leaving Brian alone with Nick.

"You didn't tear any of them, did you?" Brian asked, gesturing to Nick's sutures.

"Nope, hurts like a bitch though." Nick admitted.

"You want me to get your nurse?" Brian offered.

Nick shook his head. "No, but come 'ere." "There was a part of the dream that I didn't tell everyone else." He said, his voice low.

Brian got up from the chair he was sitting and sat where AJ was sitting before. "What?"

Nick took a deep breath. "I kissed her."

"Who, the native girl? Lilly?"

"No, dumbass. Lizz." Nick watched Brian's face carefully for a reaction.

Brian s eyes grew wide. "You kissed Lizz?"

I popped my head into the room. "Hey, I forgot my sweatshirt and I insisted that I come back and get it." As soon as they saw me, both of them looked up guiltily.

"Uh, hey." Nick said, turning red. Brian was trying to keep from laughing and failing miserably.

"Hey, I heard my name. Were you guys talking about me?" I demanded, pointing my finger at them.

"No uh, we were just saying that you need to get more rest." Nick said smoothly.

"Uh huh. Anyway, I ll be going now. I ll let you back to whatever you were talking about." I smiled wickedly.

They both waved and as I shut the door behind me, I heard Brian start laughing.

"Dammit, Brian, shuddup, that wasn t funny." But Nick was laughing too.

I grinned and shook my head. They worried me sometimes. Another wave of pain coursed through me, reminding me that I was starting to push myself too hard. If I could just get Brian to fess up about what they were talking about...

*~*~*~*~*

"Okay, now that she's gone again," I quietly observed once the door closed.

Brian studied my face before he spoke. I kinda in a way hated when he did that, but then again, Brian always knew the right things to say and do under most circumstances. "So this kiss you and Lizz had in the dream, it has you shook up a bit?"

My attention was drawn to the bedspread and I felt the sudden urge or need to smooth it out rather than look back at Brian in the face. Brian's hand came down on one of mine. "Nick?"

"I don't know what I feel right now Brian. I mean I guess I don t know how Lizz would feel ya know? I-I j-just I."

Okay, stammering wasn't good. I always studdered when I got nervous.

"Nick?"

I still wasn't gonna look Brian in the face. "Yeah?"

"Would you look at me, please?"

I hesitated but finally looked over at my best friend sitting on the edge of my bed. I hate to admit it, but sometimes just seeing his face calmed me down when I was upset over something.

"Nick you have to stop thinking here," Brian said as he gestured towards his head. "You have to start thinking here," he then pointed a finger at his heart. "Your heart will guide you in this and your heart can never be wrong."

"But what if--"

"Nick! Listen to me, if it s meant to be it will happen, let your heart guide you."

"Did it with you and Lee?"

No words were spoken at that moment, only a slight smile formed on his lips and a nod of his head.

"Ya know I hate all of this," I mumbled.

"When it's right, you will know it Nick," Brian replied with a smile.

~*~*~*~*~*~ "Did you guys miss me when I was gone?" AJ announced as he let himself into my room.

"Judas AJ, that has to be the quickest cigarette you've smoked, ever," I remarked as I cast a glare in his direction.

"What the hell did I do wrong now?" AJ asked Brian.

"Nothing AJ, don't worry about it," Brian reassured.

His tan cowboy boots clicked on the floor in a level, steady beat as he walked across the room, leaving black scuff marks in its trail. He peered out the window. "Beautiful rainy ass day we're having."

"I wouldn't know," I sighed.

"So Nick, do you care to explain why the natives didn't want me as a breeder?"

I rolled my eyes. God, this guy won't leave anything alone. "AJ, good god, it was a dream! Would you let it go?"

"Well there has to be some hidden message in there, ya know they always say that dreams are made up of your subconscious thoughts. My bet is that you feel sexually inferior to me and you held me back in that dream making those barbarians think I was undesireable."

"Seriously AJ," I scoffed.

"Really AJ," Brian joined in, his cheeks were stained with a light blush. "This is really embarrassing."

"Satisfied? You made Brian uncomfortable, dumbass!"

"Brian gets uncomfortable when he farts in his own car by himself," AJ retorted.

"Alright, alright! How about getting something from the cafeteria?" Brian suggested.

"Do you think there would be any possible way for me to go along? I can ask my nurse, I'm so damn sick of laying in this bed," I begged.

"You would have to be in a wheelchair, do you think you could sit up that long? Your chest is still healing," Brian asked.

"Hey, if Lizz can do shit so can I," I defended.

"Okay, I ll go ask, AJ you can come with me, I don t trust the two of you alone together right now," Brian stated.

"Sure thing Dad," AJ saluted.

Lizz entered her room to find Kevin setting up the chessboard on her bedtable.

"Just about ready, I see you got the sweatshirt," he smiled as he looked over at her.

Lizz hugged the shirt closely to her chest. It was the shirt Nick had gotten her for the press conference a few months ago. "Yeah, I'm glad it was where I thought I had left it. I was afraid I had left it in the cafeteria and I would have been upset if something happened to it."

"Well, I would have gotten you another sweatshirt, they are replaceable afterall," Howie replied, shaking his head.

"No, not this sweatshirt, it's from Nick," Lizz explained.

"Girls, you are so damned sentimental," Howie laughed.

"That's because you guys take things for granted and throw stuff out too easily," Lizz defended.

Both Kevin and Howie waited for an explaination, Kevin folding his arms across his chest. "Meaning?"

"Meaning you guys throw out ticket stubs, valentines cards, any type of cards you get and little gifts," she explained.

Howie busted out in an intense belly laugh with Kevin snickering alongside him. "God, Lizz, listen to yourself. I would have to buy another house just to store all the crap I get!"

Her temper started to flare and suddenly Howie knew he was skating on thin ice with her. "Oops, sorry, scratch that last remark."

"Too late! That is my point exactly and I wasn't talking about fan stuff I was talking about deep, meaningful relationship stuff!" Lizz fumed.

Kevin and Howie exchanged quick glances at each other.

"Deep, meaningful relationship stuff? Is there something you want to tell us about you and Nick?" Kevin begged with a grin.

Lizz tossed the sweatshirt into the chair where Howie was sitting. "Skip it, you got that board ready? I'm anxious to wail on your ass!"

*~*~*~*~*~~

"Lizz, I just captured your queen". Kevin pointed out, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Huh? Oh, dammit." I muttered. Kevin's last question got me a little distracted and now I was paying for it. "Okay, fine, take that!" I hastily moved my rook.

"Checkmate." I stared at the chessboard, unbelieving. Kevin just handed my ass to me.

"A little distracted are we?" Howie smiled as he observed the game.

I groaned. "There is nothing going on between Nick and I, Howie."

"Are you sure? You usually aren't this bad of an opponent." Kevin added with a grin.

I only shook my head. They were both watching me with great interest. "Look you guys, I'm sorry I bit your heads off about the whole sentimental thing, my head isn't on so straight these days."

Kevin and Howie exchanged glances. "Totally understandable, Lizzard. Thinking about Nick at any length is enough to spin anyone's head." Kevin said, laughing.
My jaw just dropped. "That isn't what I was talking about and uh, that isn't true. He doesn't...uh, I mean, I don't..". I stammered. My temper almost went off again before I realized that they were goading me. "Ah just shut up and set the game. I'm so going to kick your ass into next week this time!"
They just sat there and laughed as Kevin began rearranging the chess pieces. I forced myself to pay closer attention this time and I was actually beating him until Howie interrupted us.

"Oh my god. Guys..." Howie uttered, his voice strained.

Kevin and I both looked at him, startled. I followed his gaze to the television that was mounted on the opposite wall, above my bed.

"Lizz..."

I nodded, picking up the remote and turning up the volume. As soon as I saw the screen my heart sank. This breaking news, just in...

~*~*~*~

"Nick, you doing alright?"

"Brian, for the fifth time, I m fine." Nick said, with a hint of exasperation. However, he couldn't keep the smile off his face. For the first time since everything had come down, he was out of that damn bed. His nurse wasn t very happy to let him off the floor without another nurse, but Brian was very persuasive. The nurse relented, but insisted that they come back if Nick was having any trouble at all. He was hurting, but didn't dare say anything.

"Yeah, geez Brian. I'm gonna laugh when he gets out of that chair and busts your ass." AJ commented.

"Hey, it's my hide if Nick passes out in his wheelchair." Brian defended.

"Well your protective ass is safe cause I'm not going to pass out." Nick grinned up at Brian. Brian only rolled his eyes.

The three got their food and settled in the food court, off to the side. It was just after the dinner rush so it wasn't very crowded.

"Nick...?"

"Brian..." Replied a warning voice in return.

"Okay, sorry."

"So, back to this dream..." AJ started.

"AJ, give it rest!" Nick glared at AJ, frustrated.

AJ held his hands up in surrender. "You're a little worked up about that dream aren't you?"

"Nightmare, AJ, it was a nightmare. And I don t want to talk about it anymore." Nick stated.

AJ glanced at Brian and Brian shook his head slightly. Brian almost smiled, knowing there was more to Nick's angst than just the nightmare. "Alright, consider it dropped." AJ turned his attention up to the closest TV. They were sitting too far away to be able to hear what was on, but the picture that showed on the screen could be seen by anyone. "Oh shit." AJ squinted at the TV.

Brian and Nick turned around to see what had caused all the color to drain from AJ's face. Brian gasped. "I thought this shit was over..." Nick moaned softly.

~*~*~*~

"Aggie, come on! The place is going all to hell!" Marilyn shouted to her cell mate. The noise was deafening and the heat from the flames was drawing near.

"No, Mar. If I get out of here, they will put me in lockdown. If the other inmates don't kill me first." Agnes said firmly as she sat on her bed.

"Dammit Aggie! They don't know you did it! You think this is going to bring Marcus back? I know you ain't the type of bitch to let them win, to roll over and die. We can make a break, let's go." When Marilyn saw that she was getting through to her friend, she pushed harder. "Come on, Ag. We can get out of here. You want to see Terri, don't you? You want to avenge your son, don't you? Make those kids pay, Aggie." Marilyn smiled when she saw that her words were having an effect on Agnes. Finally Agnes nodded.

"Let's go."

~*~*~*~

"This breaking news, just in! It has just been reported that there has been an inmate riot at FMC Carswell Prison in Fort Worth, Texas. Witnesses say that a fire was started by Agnes Miller. For those of you that can't place the name, Miller was incarcerated nearly six months ago for attempted murder and kidnapping."

*~*~*~*

I stared at the television screen, Agnes' mug shot off to one side, the smoke billowing out of the prison windows to the other and words scrolling at the bottom of the screen, typical CNN news crap. I was trying to convince myself that this wasn't the same woman that held such hatred towards Lizz, Brian and I for her daughter' s accident. If this was the same woman, I was silently praying that she never received word about Marcus' death. Surely she would peg the blame on one of us.

"Nick.....?"

"Take me back to my room, Brian, I don t feel so hot."

As Brian jumped out of his chair, he bumped the table, spilling milk and coffee.

"Slow down ace," AJ growled. "I doubt Nick will pass out on us."

Brian took a second to cast a glare at AJ as he steadied the wheelchair for me. "Let's not argue right now, okay? I just want to get back to my room," I begged.

Brian placed his hand on my shoulder. "I know Nick, I know."

"I hope Lizz didn t see this, god she worries about shit worse than me."

AJ snorted at my remark. "I think you do the worrying for the entire country at times Nick."

*~*~*~*~~

"This breaking news, just in! It has just been reported that there has been an inmate riot at FMC Carswell Prison in Fort Worth, Texas. Witnesses say that a fire was started by Agnes Miller. For those of you that can t place the name, Miller was incarcerated nearly six months ago for attempted murder and kidnapping. We ll take you live to Fort Worth and reporter on the scene, Anne Robinson.... Anne?....I guess we've lost connection with her, at any rate, there's a riot at FMC Carwell Prison in Fort Worth...."

"I'm turning this off," Lizz stated as she clicked on the remote. "I hope Nick didn't have this on."

"I'm sure he didn't. Brian and AJ are with him, he's probably arguing with them about something," Howie assured.

Lizz smiled at the thought. "Yeah, I'm sure that's what happened. Okay, are you gonna set up that game again? I'm ready to totally kick your ass Kevin."

Kevin snickered and then try to put a concerned face on. "When are you going to get the rest you need young lady?"

"After I waste you in this damn game," Lizz retorted.

Kevin raised an eyebrow as he looked at her determined face. "Then I guess you' ll be awake for the rest of your life because.....," he paused while he set the pieces back in place, " ...it won't happen in your lifetime."

"Bring it!!"

*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey Terri! Your momma is on the box!"

Terri stopped pulling the weights briefly as she looked over towards the woman that yelled out her name. "What did you say, Grace?"

"I said your momma is on the box! Look!"

Dropping the pulleys, the weights dropped to the floor. Terri took the white towel that was draped around her shoulders and wiped the sweat off her face. Although she was serving a life term for her involvement in the kidnapping and extortion, she worked out in the weight room every chance she had. After being released from the prision infirmary, she was transferred to the correctional facility in Atlanta, Georgia. Her arms had become quite muscular and her upper torso toned and well defined. The only indicator of her being confined permanently to a wheel chair was the immobility of her legs and a slightly rounded stomach that she would never be able to get rid of without being able to do the exercises she needed to tone the stomach muscles. Every day she looked at her legs and her stomach and every day she cursed the person that put her in the wheelchair.

Squinting her eyes to focus on the television screen, Terri finally pulled the prison mandated black rimmed glasses from her shirt pocket. "I'll be damned. She told me she was gonna do it! I'll be damned!"

"You told me she was gonna do that, didn't you kid?" Grace remarked as she pointed a crooked finger at Terri.

"Yup I did," Terri smiled.

"And she' s gonna come and spring you out too," Grace stated, a little too loud for Terri's satisfaction.

"Listen old woman, you keep your trap shut if you know what's good for you," Terri hissed. "I'll take care of you, but you keep your damn mouth shut!" With that said, Terri whipped her wheel chair around in a quick jerk and wheeled herself out of the weight room towards her cell.

*~*~*~*~*~

"Nick?" Let's put him in bed, the nurse said as she hurried behind Brian and AJ. She moved around them quickly and lowered the bed so that it was flat. AJ and Brian helped me into the bed and the nurse slapped a blood pressure cuff on my arm. "You're looking about as white as the background on your gown," she observed as she pumped the cuff up on my arm.

"All he told us was that he was feeling sick to his stomach," AJ offered.

Her only reply was a shake of her head. "His bp is down". She clicked on the button to raise the foot portion of my bed up slightly.

"I'm fine, I protested weakly." I hated having attention drawn to myself. "Honest, I feel really stupid."

"So how long did you feel like you were dizzy Nick?" Cindy asked when she stopped the bed.

This was a question I did not want to answer. "Oh probably a few minutes."

Evidentally I didnt place too much conviction in my voice.

"Really?" she stated with a look in her eyes.

Busted.

"Okay, alright, it's probably been a few hours but I'm fine," I protested again.

"According to your day nurse, your i/o is really pathetic Nick.."

"I/O? What the hell is an I/O?" AJ questioned.

"His intake and output of fluids, basically, Nick isn't drinking as much water as we need him to so he's probably taxing his system."

"Okay, give me a break, you guys just took me off the stupid IV's this morning," I snapped.

"And if you don't shape up Mr. Carter, we will have to hook you back up, you still have a port on your hand," Cindy pointed out. After she checked my pressure again, she lowered my feet back down to the same level my head was at. "Do you want water or juice?"

"Grape juice," I replied trying to give her a toothy grin.

"It won't work Nick, I ll be back in a minute," Cindy replied as she left the room.

Once the door closed, AJ busted out laughing. "You got caught!"

"Shuddup dumbass. God I am so sick of this place!"

"And the longer you don' t co-operate with doctor's orders Nick, the longer you will be in here, Lizz is getting out after this weekend, I bet you won t be ready by Monday," Brian surmized.

I hate when he's right. "I will co-operate, I will be good, just do me a favor guys."

"Depends, what do you want?" Brian asked suspiciously.

"Don't let Lizz know about this or about the news thing, okay?"

"She won't hear it from me," AJ remarked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Okay, me either, but if she asks about anything specifically, I'm not going to lie about it," Brian replied.

I sighed. Why did Brian always have to be so damned straight and up front about shit?

"I guess that's the best I'll get?"

Brian simply nodded. Cindy walked in before he could answer. No one spoke as she slowly raised the head of my bed up to a comfortable angle.

"Drink, Nick," Brian ordered.

"Good idea, listen to Brian, but just take slow sips," Cindy cautioned.

I rolled my eyes in reply as they watched me sip the juice. If they only knew that half of the reason for me feeling sick was Agnes Miller, they would put a lock on the TV and keep me under lock and key.

I was even more distracted this time, but I forced myself to concentrate on the game. I was doing a lot better than I should have, but I realized that Kevin was probably a little distracted too. Agnes' mug shot kept flashing across my eyes and I shuddered against the thought. With any luck, she died in the fire. I was almost surprised at the severity of my thoughts, but this woman nearly killed us. "Kevin, what the hell was that?" I blinked as he moved his knight, leaving his king wide open.

"Crap. Well this game is over. I' ve got to go make some calls anyway. Howie, you wanna stay here?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Sure, no problem." Howie nodded. They exchanged looks and I frowned. Did they think I was gonna freak out on them or something? Just because Agnes dumb butt started a fire didn't put us in any danger. They were gonna put her in lockdown or something.

After Kevin left, I turned to Howie. "I'm not tired anymore. I want to go see Nick."

"Lizz, you have been pushing yourself too much today. You need to try to get some sleep." Howie pointed out.

"No way, I m not sleepy and I don't want to sleep anyway..." I trailed off.

"I thought the sleeping pills were helping you." Howie said, concern evident in his voice.

I groaned. "They aren't stopping the nightmares, just keeping me from spazzing out when I wake up from them. I'm more just groggy as hell."

Howie crinkled his nose. "Well that sucks."

I nodded. "So come on, let's go."

It was Howie's turn to groan. "You know Kevin is going to get onto me for this."

"Yup! I grinned." He helped me put Nick's sweatshirt on since I couldn't really raise my arms over my head. I was going to be really glad when this huge gash healed a little bit because right now I was pretty helpless to do much for myself. Slowly but surely, we headed towards Nick's room. My whole midsection felt a little fiery, but I tried to ignore it. I wanted to make sure he didn't see that news blurb. I think Howie knew that I was struggling because he kept a careful eye on me as we plodded down the hall. When we got to Nick's room, my heart skipped a beat. Nick was laying in bed, pale and sipping juice. Brian was standing by the side of the bed, pained expression on his face. And AJ was pacing back and forth across the small room.

"What's going on?" I asked softly.

Nick turned his head to me sharply. "What are you doing out of bed again?! You are supposed to be resting!"

"And you look like shit! I exclaimed back to Nick. And you two look a little more than freaked out...oh god. You saw huh?" I stared from AJ to Brian.

Brian nodded.

"It may be okay though, right? I mean, maybe it's even better this way. Maybe they will lock her ass up in lockdown or something? I mean, that's what they do when you cause problems and stuff, right?" I said, hopefully.

AJ stopped pacing. "You didn't watch the whole thing did you?"

" The-the whole thing?" I stammered.

"Lizz, Agnes escaped in the fire. The authorities have been unable to find her." Brian said softly.

"No...that-that isn t...no... I gasped, my knees getting weak." Howie immediately moved behind me and steadied me. Nick set his drink down and held his arms up for me to go over to him. Howie led me to the bed and helped me sit down. Nick put an arm around my shoulders and I laid myhead on his shoulder. "So she's out. I said quietly. She's going to come after us again."

"No, she isn't." A determined voice said from the doorway. We all turned to see Kevin standing there, two cops on both sides of him. My mouth gaped. He was in the room with me and I turned the TV off. How would he have known how serious it was? He seemed to know what I was thinking because he turned his attention to me. "I had a bad feeling and called Blake".

I nodded. Detective Blake was the one that was handled everything. He was there when the whole thing came down in that building that Vinnie was holding Brian and I in.

"Agnes started a fire in Carswell, as you know. During all the chaos, she and some woman named Marilyn killed a couple of the guards and managed to escape with a hostage. The hostage was someone that was visiting his wife that was also in Carswell. After they were in the free, they killed him too. Blake has some of his best undercovers on the floor in plainclothes. The hospital tightened security as well. There is no way she is getting anywhere near here." Kevin reported.

"What about Vinnie?" Brian asked.

"And Terri?" I added.

"They're still locked up. We aren't even going to worry about them. Agnes either."

"If we don t have to worry about them, then what's with the cops?" AJ demanded.

"Just added protection, Mr. McLean." One of them said.

"Great." Muttered AJ.

I had to smile at him, knowing how he felt around cops. There was a time in my life when I didn't feel all that comfortable either, so I could relate.

"Relax AJ, they are mostly going to be keeping an eye on who comes and goes off this floor." Kevin said, rolling his eyes. He turned and said something to the cop that had spoken before and the cop nodded before he left with his partner.

After they were gone, Kevin came in and stood at the foot of Nick's bed. "There's something else we need to discuss, now that all of us are together." He stopped and frowned at me. "You're supposed to be laying down, by the way. What are you doing in here again?"

"I uh..." I started, knowing that I was still going to get busted. Nick squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.

"She just couldn't stay away." AJ snickered.

Nick flipped him off in return and Kevin bit his lip to keep from smiling. "Alright, since we all need to be here for this, you can stay. But after we are done, you are going to bed missy."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Nick turned and said softly, "don't argue. You need rest."

I made a face at him, but kept my mouth shut.

"What is it that we need to discuss, Kev?" Brian asked, still standing by the side of Nick's bed.

"A press conference."

There was a collective groan from everyone, but Nick shook his head. "Why do we need another freakin press conference. We just had one!" He exclaimed.

"Just had one?" Kevin furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Yeah, before the..." He stopped. "Nevermind, that was in that damn dream. Yeah, it didn't go all that well. Lizz, you got really nervous and were barfing all morning and Brian, you were about as bad."

I laughed. "I don't throw up remember?"

Five heads turned in my direction, giving me a funny look. "Okay well sometimes, but rarely at all. I' ve got a complex against it."

"Anyway," Kevin continued, shaking his head, "there are a lot of rumors starting to fly and we need to tell them about Nick."

"Oh my god, they still think I'm dead?" Nick's eyes widened.

"Nick, it was only four days ago that everything happened. When have we had time to set up a conference to tell everyone?" Howie pointed out.

"Oh yeah. Well where did all these balloons and flowers and stuff come from then?" Nick gestured to his windowsill and any other available space.

"Your family, our families, management, and etc." Brian smiled.

"The conference is scheduled for Monday morning." Kevin stated, bringing us back on track.

"Whoa Monday! Kevin, that's the day after tomorrow. Do we really need to do it that soon?" Nick moaned, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

"You know the longer we put it off, the bigger risk we are taking." Kevin pointed out.

"Am I going to be there?" I asked in a small voice.

"Yes. A lot of questions are going to arise when they find out that you and Nick were in hiding together for those couple months." Kevin nodded.

"Yeah, questions we still haven't gotten any answers for either." AJ grinned.

"Knock it off, AJ." Brian said quietly.

AJ's eyes widened. "You know something!"

Kevin and Howie didn't butt in, but looked interested as well. Brian shook his head.

"No questions got answered because nothing happened!" Nick burst out, glaring at everyone.

"Yeah, better not tell them about the baby's room." I whispered to Nick.

He laughed softly, remembering how shocked he was when I explained why our apartment had been set up the way it had.

"See! Look, they're laughing about some little private joke!" AJ exclaimed, jaw dropped.

Okay, come on. We still have another things to discuss. The tour..." Kevin started

The smile dropped off my face. The tour? It's not like I didn't know that this was coming, but so soon? I wasn't ready. What was I going to do?

"How soon?" Howie questioned.

"As soon as you guys are in good enough shape. Nick, you've got a ways to go before you will be ready to be up and dancing again. Same with you, Brian." Kevin said.

"Hey! I've been released. I'm good to go." Brian protested.

"Just because you have been released doesn't mean that you are good to go, Brian. You are still pretty bruised up and you need to be taking it easy for awhile longer." Kevin said, folding his arms across his chest.

"I'm fine, really." Brian insisted.

"My ass. You pulled this crap way back when this whole mess began when I first started having the seizures and stuff. You hardly ate and you never slept. You passed out cold in the hallway because you were pushing yourself too hard. I'll be damned if I am gonna let you do that to yourself again! If I have to keep resting, then so do you!" Nick said, pointing a finger at Brian.

Brian's eyes rounded to saucers. "How did you know I passed out?"

"Kyung told Lizz about it and she told me. See, you can't keep shit from me any better than I try to hide it from you." Nick said smugly.

"Okay, alright. Kevin, when are we looking at here?" Brian said, giving in.

"Management is aiming for two weeks. I know that seems really soon, but they were insistant about it." Kevin said.

"Go figure." Nick grumbled. "I don t know how much dancing I will be able to do in two freakin weeks."

"They know that. You, and probably Brian for awhile, will be taking it easy on the choreography until you are better. They seem to think it would be good for us to get back on track. The longer we put our lives on hold, the harder it will be to get back to normal again. I kind of agree with them, even if it does seem soon." Kevin added.

"I'm ready." AJ stated.

"Yeah, I figured you would be." Kevin smiled. "So, after the conference I think we need to...Lizz? Lizz??" Kevin stopped mid-sentence. "What s wrong? You haven't said a word this whole time. I don't think I have ever heard you so quiet."

I sat up, pulling away from Nick. "Nothing, it's my problem to worry about."

"What s wrong, Lizzard?" Nick shifted so he was facing me.

I shook my head, trying to fight the tears that were burning behind my eyes. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Lizz, come on, tell us." Brian coaxed. "It's just that, I um, I don't have anywhere to go now." I whispered. "I mean, last time you guy left and went on tour, I just went back to my life with Kyung. I mean, it sucked, but they gave me my job back and I was able to get caught up in my classes. But now, I'm screwed. Kyung left me, I have no apartment anymore, lost my job. And I know they won't take me back again, it's been too long. And the semester ended. I don't think I could go back there again anyway. Too many people know me and know what happened. It wouldn't make a difference anyway because I don't have the money to go back right now. And I shouldn't be crying to you guys about it. You guys have your own stuff to deal with and you aren't responsible for me or my problems." I stopped, angry with myself. Angry that I just made my problems, their problems. Angry that I was so scared to be alone. Angry that I made myself a burden again. And angry that I was crying.

"Lizz, look at me." Nick said softly. When I didn't listen, he tipped my chin up so I was looking at him. "You aren't a burden. Do you really think that after everything that has happened, we would just throw you out there all by yourself? Come on, you can barely even take care of yourself in your sorry shape right now." He leveled his gaze at me. "You think I am going to let you out of my site, anyway? Especially now that Agnes is out?" He paused. "You re gonna come with us."

My jaw dropped. I looked around the room, holding my breath. Going with?! Brian was nodding and smiling. Howie was grinning too. I looked at Kevin. He looked thoughtful, but then nodded. "Nick's right. That's the best decision for everyone. I don't like the idea of you trying to struggle to get back on your feet again after everything that has happened. And I want you to be close so we can make sure you are safe. Plus, I don't want to hear Nick's constant bitching after you guys have been apart for more than five minutes. And I wouldn't want to subject any other poor soul to the same fate from your bitching." Kevin added the last part with a smile.

"Hey!" Nick protested.

"Oh god, do we really have to?" AJ had a look of horror on his face. He pointed to Nick and Brian. "You guys pull enough shit and now I have to put up with Lizz adding to it?!"

"Hey, I resent that!" Brian exclaimed.

I laughed. "I have nothing but love for you AJ." My smile faded. "Are you sure...I mean, I don t know what to say. I don t want to..." I stammered.

"Lizz, you're coming. End of story." Nick said again.

"Oh my god..." I murmured, wrapping my arms around Nick. Okay, now I was in a state of shock. I was going on tour with the guys?! I mean, I knew it wasn t always roses, but whoa...Before I had ever met Nick, a big portion of the chatting we did was while he was on tour. One of my greatest passions in life, one that I didn't know if I could ever fulfill was to get to travel. Now, not only was I getting to do that, but I was going to get to stay with everyone, especially...whoa, not gonna even finish that thought.

"Thank you, guys." I grinned, my eyes shining.

I sighed as I looked into the mirror. Of all the things that were required of my job, this was the part that sucked the most.... PR or Mini Interviews. I hated them with ever fiber of my being and now Lizz was going to have to be exposed to another one again. The only good thing about this one was that the threat of Terri or Agnes was pretty much gone - or at least I hoped it was gone.

As I adjusted my Florida Seminoles sweatshirt, I couldn t help but laugh inwardly at Lizz's obsession with the Oklahoma Sooners. We always had little pretend fights as to who was the best of the best in the football league, she was scrappy about it, but I always prevailed in our playful arguements, you gotta love that. At any rate, I was grateful that my mother had Fed Ex'd some clothes to the hospital so I had something decent to wear in front of the media.

A feeble knock on the hospital door indicated that it was time to face the music as Brian always put things when you wanted to just climb into a dark hole and hide.

An older woman pushing a wheel chair into the room started to cheerily sing out, "Transport--- "

"Oh no, no way in hell am I going in that thing," I interrupted her as I pointed down at the chair.

"But this is doctor's orders," she stated in a syrupy-talking-to-a-puppy tone of voice, you know, like Blanche on The Golden Girls.

I shook my head. "Nope, not gonna do it. I'm walking down by myself, thanks but no thanks."

I will admit I felt sort of bad blowing that woman off, she was trying to do her job, but I was so sick of wheel chairs and I really wasn't a patient, at least offically I was a patient, but I was planning on leaving the hospital as soon as the conference was overwith. I had my mind made up that I was going to leave without signing myself out. No one would know the difference anyway. I would just have to hope that my nurses or my doctors weren't watching the conference. Then again, what would it matter to them anyway? I was an adult so I was basically the captian of my own fate.

As I started to walk past the woman, I hung my head because I had felt so bad about cutting her off. "I-I I hate to ask, but what room am I suppose to go to?"

"Ground level, auditorium B, you take the staff elevator and then turn left and follow the signs."

"Thanks, and I m sorry about being sort of mean, but I m just sick of wheel chairs, I want to be independent and don't worry, if you get into trouble for this, tell them to talk to me, I'll back you up, okay?" I tried to seal it with a toothy smile. She only smiled back slightly and shook her head.

I got on the staff elevator, nearly gagging at the smell of food that was trapped in it. God, it smelled awful, and they serve it to patients? No wonder there were so many sick people in the hospital! The car stopped without incident to the ground floor.

Okay, was it a left or a right? Shit, I can't believe I don't remember already. "Okay, think here Carter, it was right, turn right," I coached myself outload as I exited.

"Whoa, Nick! Dude, this way!"

I stopped about two feet into my wrong path when I heard AJ's voice bellowing in the hall.

Turning around I found AJ and Lizz standing in the hall, arms folded across their chests, Lizz had an eyebrow arched in question and I immediately assumed it was my sweatshirt.

"Like it?" I asked as I pulled the chest portion of the sweatshirt out.

"Classic," AJ smirked.

"Lizzard, are you ready for this?"

"I guess I have to be, and why are you walking around, I thought you would have to be escorted by transportation from your room?"

"That's only for patients," I replied.

"Yeah and---"

"And I was just released this morning," I lied.

We walked into the room that had been set up for the conference. It was a typical set up, long table, six seats with name cards facing out with our names on them, lights, mikes and tons of chairs for the media. I felt my anxiety start to kick in. I decided to try and think happy, peaceful thoughts.

"Nick, good to see you up and in street clothes," Brian chided as he gave me a hug.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks."

"Okay, Nick and Lizz, you guys sit here," Kevin pointed to the two seats that were situated in the center of the long table.

"Oh just wonderful," I moaned. I did not like sitting in the center, actually no one liked sitting in the direct center except for Kevin, but Kevin always did the talking for us. He was going to be sitting opposite of Lizz, so she would be sandwiched between myself and Kevin. I reached down and took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "You gonna be okay with this?" I whispered in her ear. She only replied with a slight nod.

"What the hell are you guys being so damned secretive about now?" AJ demanded.

"AJ!" Kevin growled. "Let it go!"

Everyone took their seats and waited for the signal to begin the conference. As always, Kevin was designated as the spokesperson and began to read from a typed statement release that had been written for him by Liza, our publicist.

" We would like to take this time to thank the press for coming to this conference. With all that had been happening over the past few weeks, we decided that information needed to be provided to clear up any and all rumors that had been circulating."

Kevin paused, taking a breath before he continued.

"As you probably remember, Nick was victimized when his drinking water had been tampered with during our last press conference, causing him to lose his voice temporarily. In order for his safety along with our friends, Lizz, sitting to my left, the two of them went into hiding while the police tried to arrest the people involved. To briefly summarize what had happened, Lizz and Brian were injured in a fight to subdue the extortionists, and Nick was gravely injured, and we almost lost him. But, as you can see, he is alive and well, and all of them are on the road to a complete and healthy recovery."

I barely listened to Kevin's comments as he droned on and on about Agnes, Terri, Vinnie and Marcus. I shifted nervously in my chair as I felt eyes boring into me.

"So it's been decided that we will resume our tour, two weeks from today at our usual starting point, Florida, but we will kick it off in Tampa. Brian and Nick may not be able to do too much dancing until they heal up, but they will still be able to sing, so we are going to take this on a day by day basis."

I groaned inwardly as Kevin spoke the next four words: "Are there any questions?"

If I thought I could have gotten away with it, I would have kicked Kevin. Asking if people had any questions was just inviting trouble. As if my stomach wasn't clenched enough as it was. As soon as the words left his mouth, the room exploded into noise and flashes. My heart was beating wildly in my chest and I knew Nick was feeling the same thing. I knew full well that Nick hated this even though he always played it off really well. He needed to add acting skills to his list of talents.

"Whoa whoa! So what Kevin is saying is that Nick never died?"

"Nick, how were you gravely injured??"

"How has this affected the group?"

I almost laughed at the last question. If I weren't so tense, I probably would have. Honestly, people, you don't want to know. We're edgy, nervous, fearful, beaten, battered, angry, and sleep-deprived. Shall I continue? I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand and I glanced at Nick. He stared straight ahead, appearing to be nice and calm. I bit back a smile and squeezed his hand back.

"Lizz?"

My attention snapped forward. "Uh, yeah-yes?" I stammered, my voice small.

"I was just asking how you felt about going on tour with the rest of the guys." A lady asked, smiling.

Okay, that was easy.

I smiled, the nervousness easing a little. "I'm really excited. I mean, I've always wanted to travel and now, not only am I getting to do that, but I get to do it with the Backstreet Boys!" I said the last part with added emphasis, stretching my grin wider. A bunch of people chuckled and I felt myself relax. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

"Nick, according to Kevin, you and Lizz went into hiding together. Could you tell us a little bit about that please?"

"Well, we hated to deceive everyone by making them think I was dead, but with our lives at stake, we felt it was the best choice. At one point, they had even threatened our fans if we didn't do what they wanted. So for everyone's safety, Lizzard and I went into hiding."

Lizzard?! During a press conference?! Smooth one, Nicky.

"We both altered our appearances, as you can tell by my brown hair and I don't know if you remembered from last time, but Lizz had reddish hair. Anyway, we stayed in an apartment, cutting off all contact with anyone we knew." Nick continued.

"Wait, you and Lizz stayed in an apartment together?" The same reporter asked. Immediately, the cameras started flashing faster and I felt the color rise in my cheeks. Here we go...

"It was safer that way... " Kevin started, trying to take the pressure off of us.

"Nick, can you tell us if you and Lizz are involved romantically?" The woman persisted.

Okay, now my face was on fire. I resisted the urge to bang my head against the table in frustration. Instead, I sat there frozen, waiting for Nick s answer along with everyone else.

"We' re friends, good friends. Next question?" Nick said, closing up. I almost laughed out loud. That answer was soooo Nick-like.

" This question is directed to all of you, but namely Brian, Nick and Lizz. How do you feel knowing that Agnes has escaped prison and do you feel that she is a threat to you? How will this affect your touring?"

Thanks dude, you just had to go and bring her up again, didn't you. I had no plans on answering that question and thankfully Brian took it.

"Of course it doesn't sit very well with us that Agnes has escaped, but I am confident that the feds will capture her and bring her to justice. We are going to put everything we have towards the tour and don't plan on letting that woman get in our way. Our fans deserve the best and that is what we are going to give them." Brian said with determination.

I looked at him, my eyes a little wide. He almost sounded pissed! I felt myself nodding slowly.

"Lizz, you agree with Brian?"

I stared straight ahead. "Yes, I do. I guess what Brian said pretty much sums it up. We've been victimized by those people for long enough. Granted, the threat is still out there, but we re not going to live in fear any longer. Like Brian said, their fans deserve the best. We'll be dam-darned if they aren't going to get the best!" I said defiantly.

More camera flashed and after a few more quick questions, the press conference was over. As soon as people started to leave the room, namely the cameras, I let out a sigh of relief.

"Geez, Lizz. You just dominated that last one didn't ya?" AJ teased as the room cleared out.

I flushed. "I guess what Brian said really hit me. Those freaks have put us through hell, but I want to get on with it though. I mean, I know it's a lot easier said than done, but I'm gonna fight it. I doubt I will be able to stop the nightmares and stuff like that, but I can try to change my thinking. Like I can try not to dwell on everything so much. I mean, you guys are getting ready to start the tour and are nice enough to let me tag along. I want to do what I can to help you guys out with things. Be helpful and not be a bur-"

"Lizz, you aren't a burden." Brian corrected, quickly.

I rolled my eyes, but still smiled appreciatively at him.

"I agree, as hard as it is, we need to try to get back to normal." Kevin said, nodding.

I noticed that Nick had been pretty quiet throughout the discussion. We were hovering in the room. Nick was sitting in his chair still, face a little pale. I walked over and plopped down in the chair next to him.

"What's wrong hun?"

"I'm fine." He stated.

I sighed. Did he really think I didn t know him just a little better than this? "Talk to me."

"I'm just a little tired." He said, smiling slightly.

I shook my head. "I would have thought you would be feeling a little better since they had released you this morning."

"Do you?"

"Not really." I admitted. As of 9am this morning, I was a free agent. They had decided that the sutures had healed enough that I could be released. I was under strict instruction to be very careful and avoid anything strenuous. It still hurt to move around, but I was getting better and better at hiding it.

"Okay then." He smirked.

"Oh shuddup. It's probably that ugly ass sweatshirt. It's just bringing you down." I retorted. I knew full well he wore that Seminole sweatshirt just to get a rise out of me. "That's okay, we all know who the 2000 National Champs are."

"Sure, blood and sp-"

"Nick! Knock that off already!" Brian exclaimed, cutting Nick off from making fun of the colors.

I snickered as Nick muttered dork under his breath. Just like Nick to be a pervert.

"So, I guess its back to your room then?" Brian said to Nick.

"Nope, they ended up releasing him this morning too!" I grinned.

Kevin narrowed his eyes. "I don't think you are ready."

"Well my doctor did, evidently." Nick replied, somewhat uncomfortably.

"Have you already signed your discharge papers?" Brian asked.

"No, uh, yeah." He stammered.

I looked from Brian to Kevin. "Even that one about the cafeteria food warning?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Huh?" Nick looked at me, perplexed.

"They gave it to me. It had something to do with something that happened in the kitchen and that if you get sick from their food in the next 24-36 hours, to come right back. Something about something getting into the food that shouldn't have been in there..." I trailed off, as if I were thinking.

"Oh yeah, I got that one. Can we go now?" Nick said hastily, standing up.

I shot a pointed look to Brian and he nodded. AJ noticed and merely shook his head.

"Busted, man." He snorted.

"There wasn't any such form, Nick! You're trying to do it again! I wasn' t here before to stop you, but I'm here now and you aren't getting out AMA!" I exclaimed, poking my finger into his chest.

"AMA?" AJ asked.

"Against Medical Advice. Right Nick?" I said, folding my arms.

"Yeah, so? I'm ready to get out of here. Lizz, you know how it is when you are ready to get out, but they keep you longer anyway! You guys were all just talking about moving on. Well how can I move on when I am stuck in there?" He said, going from defensive to almost pleading.

"Yeah, I know how it is, but as much as I hated it, they kept me for good reason. Cause I still had some getting better to do!" I argued. And I hated to argue with him about this. Because I did know. I knew all too well the desperate feeling of needing to get out, but not being able to. Knowing that life was passing you right by, people were getting on with new things in their lives, but you were still stuck in that void of time.

Nick didn't reply, but only held my gaze.

"What if we can get you out today, but on a couple conditions?" I asked softly.

"What conditions?" Kevin broke in, not looking pleased.

"Like number one, you have to rest exactly as much as your doctor tells you to and for exactly how long he tells you too. No cheating at all! Number two, if he puts you on any meds, you take them. All of them! Number three, quit trying to hide stuff and sneak your way out of things. The next time you try to pull a fast one on me, I'll put you back in the hospital myself." I said, ticking the conditions off on my fingers.

"And this is all only if your doctor agrees." Kevin added, frowning. "I don't like this, but I can't force you to stay in there, short of tying your stubborn ass up."

I snickered at the mental picture, but evidently AJ took my snickering for something else because his eyes grew wide. He opened his mouth to say something, but Brian shook his head, making a face.

I stared Nick in the eyes. "Do we have a deal?"

Nick saluted. "Yes ma'am."

I playfully smacked the shoulder on his good side. " Smartass."

We all filed out of the room, security and bodyguards walking loosely on all sides. Most of the people had been cleared out, but there were a few eager stragglers. Brian pulled up next to me.

"You' re getting good at that." He grinned, motioning to Nick who was walking ahead of us with AJ.

"I learn from the best." I returned the smile, nodding to Brian.

The rest of us, sans Brian, sat in Nick's room waiting for them to finish talking to Nick' s doctor. We were all pretty quiet, but it wasn't really a depressing quiet. More like we were all thinking about what the next months would bring for us.

Every time I tried to picture myself on tour with them, I had to resist the urge to pinch myself. Other than the traveling and getting to stay with them, I was all about exciting things and spontaneity. I thrived on it. I knew it would be pretty difficult at times and I knew that was going to be a shock to my system.

People really didn't understand how hard it could be for them. They went from hotel to hotel, sleeping in different beds every other night, never having a shred of privacy. Even knowing Nick as well as I did, didn't allow me to understand it to their degree. It was definitely going to be a major adjustment. Still, I was just an inch beyond excited. Suddenly the door burst open and Nick emerged, grinning. Brian was standing to his left, also smiling. I felt my face light up with theirs. We were on our way.

*~*~*~*~*~* Memories flooded my mind as Lizz and I neared the bus. Hearing the engine running, the smell of the exhaust cued only the feelings of dread, fatigue and homesickness. I craved normalicy and I knew I would never get it while we were on tour. I quickly pasted a smile on my face when Lizz grabbed me by the arm.

"God, this bus looks so huge," she whispered in a hushed voice.

I smirked. She was definately in awe of the silver bullet. "Nah, you're just so tiny."

"Ha ha, am not!"

"Whateva," I replied as I gestured with my free arm to the open door. "Ladies first."

"Nick you're all set, right?"

"Yeah Dave, we re good to go," I replied to my driver.

I took a deep breath before I climbed onboard. The only part of the trip that wouldn't make it suck so bad was having someone around me that was totally new to all the mayhem that was coming up.

"Omigod!" Lizz gasped.

I shook my head and smiled at Dave before getting on. I bounded up the steps to find Lizz standing in the middle of the living quarters, her mouth agape.

"You never told me how great this is!"

I sank my body onto the couch. "That's cause you never asked."

Lizz did a 360 before she stopped and then turned back to face me again, her hands on her hips. I looked up at her with an eyebrow raised, waiting for a comment.

"Well?"

" Well what?"

"Nick! Hey aren't you gonna give me a tour of this home on wheels or am I going to have to figure this out on my own?"

I groaned.

"Please, pretty please?"

I envisioned my mom glaring at me at this very moment. This was kinda rude for me not to take her and show her where things were, after all, she was going to be stuck with me on this bus for three months.

"Okay, let s go on the mini tour, here, follow me," I stated as I gestured over my shoulder. When I walked past her, I stopped briefly at the fridge. I held up a bottle of water. "Want some?" Lizz shook her head. "Well, that's the fridge, so you know where to go to help yourself."

"Okay, there s the microwave, the cupboards with plates and glasses and stuff. Over here is the munchie cupboard.... what?"

Lizz was shaking her head, smiling. "You and your preoccupation with food, I swear."

"Hey, just wait, you'll see why I worry about my snacks! Okay, you ve seen the living quarters, the televion behind those doors, the ones below is the playstation and on the left is the CD case and on the right are the DVDs and some VHS. DVD and the VCR are on the bottom shelf."

"Way back is the bedroom the bathroom is off to the far right. So there's the mini tour," I sighed as I laid back down on the couch.

"Nick are you tired?"

"Oh don't start analyzing me please, I'm fine, I rolled my eyes at her."

"Hey, don't pull anything dumb Nick, Brian told me what the doctor said about the conditions of your release and if I remember, number one was plenty of rest and fluids during your offtime," Lizz stated as she stared at me.

I grabbed a pillow and laid it ontop of my face. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, and I'm the pope!"

"Well, what about you? Are you feeling okay?" I asked, trying to switch the focus off of me.

"Nice try Nick."

Taking the blanket that was laying across a chair, Lizz laid it ontop of me. "Why don't you lay back and rest? I ll find a movie and we can watch some tv, how does that sound?"

Again, I groaned.

"Okay, that's what I thought," Lizz replied.

I smirked as I watched her try to figure out how to open the doors to the TV. I didn t say a word as she pried opened the doors to the CD s. She finally found the cupboard with the DVD s and I was semi-amused as I watched her paw through the selections.

"My god, this is like a mini video rental store," Lizz muttered as she picked through the movies. "Any requests?"

"I don't care, but the ride shouldn't be that long, so try to pick something you won't get too involved in," I sleepily suggested.

"Titanic? Nick I though you hated that----"

"Gift, or a weak moment, not sure," I mumbled in defense.

I closed my eyes, giving up to the sleep that I was craving. Off in the distance, I could hear her still sorting through movies.....

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Nick, what s Brian gonna think about this? I'm sure he wouldn t approve," Lizz protested as I placed the card to the hotel room in the door slot.

Holding the door open, I motioned for her to go inside. "Brian's not our dad, is he?"

"No, but still, single people shouldn't share a room together, especially a hotel room!"

"Brian and Leighanne weren't saints before they got married," I smirked.

"Okay, I didn t want to know that," Lizz replied, covering her ears.

"Well, you're stuck with me, you heard them at the desk, the hotel is booked solid, all the hotels in the area are booked up, so like it or not, you're gonna have to enjoy my company for the next two days here."

"We need ice," Lizz stated as she grabbed the bucket.

"Whoa, where did that come from?"

"No place, we need ice, that's all."

I took Lizz by the shoulders. "Hey.... if you re uncomfortable with this I can stay with Howie or someone from detail."

Lizz shook her head. "No, it's okay, I'm fine. I just don't want rumors to start up for you."

I snickered at the comment. "Like there isn' t any rumors out there now? Besides, look at how preoccupied AJ has been about us lately."

I was rewarded with a grin from Lizz.

"Do you want me to get the ice?"

"Nick! Are you nuts? You' d be attacked," she replied as she grabbed the room card off the desk. "What s so funny now?"

"It's pretty safe right now, we just got here," I pointed out. "Give it a few hours and the real beauty of being on the road will be hitting you full force." I took the ice bucket from her hands. "Come on, I ll go with you."

"Okay, what s going to happen in a few hours?"

"Well my friend, in a few hours I'll have to call detail when I want to leave this room to do anything. My life will be this way for the next couple of months, no end in sight. You will be getting so sick of it once the fans figure you out and put two and two together. Oh and just in case we ever get separated or you aren t allowed near me, we need to think of a password to tell detail so you can be allowed back in."

I noticed a smile spread across her face.

"What are you thinking Lizz? Ugh, god no...no--"

" Sooners Rule! "

"I WILL NOT allow you near me with that freakin password, lemme think about it. Now, let's go get some ice."

I laid across the bed, tossing a small ball into the air and hopefully catching it. Lizz had retreated to the shower roughly ten minutes ago so I was left alone to try and fend off the boredom that was creeping up on me.

My mind started wandering about different things. Some really dumb, like did I remember to turn off the hall light before I left the house to some that were really important, like what am I really feeling about Lizz? I knew I was in denial about coming to terms with my feelings, but it kept gnawing at me. What if she didn't feel the same way about me that I kinda felt about her? What if I push her away by even attempting to admit my feelings?

"Shit Nick, just bite the bullet. If she feels the same way I do, then that's cool and if she doesn't then I guess I need to move on with my life," I coached myself.

"Hey is someone out here?" Lizz asked as she walked out into the room towel drying her hair.

"Nope, you must be hearing things," I grinned. "Hey how would you like to do something tonight?"

Lizz looked at me questioningly. "Such as?"

"Such as we go clubbing," I announced cheerfully.

"Nick, I don't have anything to wear to go out and do things," Lizz pointed out.

I pulled open the drawer on the nightstand and pulled out my wallet. "Well, we can take care of that." As I tried to give her a credit card, she crossed her arms over her chest. "What? Just take it!"

"No, I wouldn't feel right, I would feel like I'm mooching off of you," she shook her head.

"Mooching? Lizz come on, judas you're being stubborn and stupid. You're not mooching off of me or anyone, just take the damn card."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

A knock on the door interrupted our playful arguement.

"I'll get it!" Lizz cried out as she bounded towards the door.

"Hey make sure you check to see---" I stopped my sentance when Lizz opened the door without looking.

"Oops, sorry about that. I didn't think about someone that shouldn't be on the other side of the door," Lizz apologized sheepishly.

"It's okay, you're new at this. Who's at the door?"

"It's me, I'm safe, at least the last time I checked I was safe," Leighanne joked as she entered the room.

"I invited Leighanne to take you shopping with her. Lee, take this card and pick out some stuff for Lizz to wear tonight and whatever pleases her, okay? She won't take the card from me," I explained as I handed a credit card over to Leighanne.

"Ah, I remember those days myself Lizz. Come on, you ready? We have some shopping to do!"

Lizz gave me a funny look. "Okay, I'm going, but Nick this will be under protest."

"That's fine, protest your ass away but don't come back without clothes and stuff, okay?"

Lizz shook her head as she followed Leighanne out the hotel room door. I flipped on the television and laid back in bed hoping to catch a little bit of sleep before the night started.

*~*~*~*~*~

Inwardly, I was grateful that my favorite booth had been reserved at The Red Star, I practically lived at this nightclub when I was old enough to go clubbing. I knew the rest of the group would enjoy themselves.

"So, Nick, how does Lizz seem to be adapting to the tour so far?" Brian asked as we watched the two women walk towards the restroom.

"Well, she really hasn't gotten a taste of it yet. I figure by at least midday tomorrow she will loathe it as much as I do," I replied after taking a gulp of beer from the bottle.

Leighanne and her were gone for about four hours on that shopping spree and I was happy to see Lizz come back with bags of clothes. Lee explained that Lizz was hesitant at first in buying anything on my credit card. I think it had something to do with how Manda had maxed out one of my credit cards in less than a month's time. Lizz knew how upset I had been over that experience and I knew she was worried that I would worry about spending.

This was different. I was quite pleased with what she had bought and definately happy with what she chose to wear at the club tonight. There are some girls that can wear black leather pants without looking cheap or dumpy. Her pants complimented every curve and I about died when she walked out of the bathroom with those pants on. I still didn't know what to say to Lizz or how to tell her I was having the feelings that I was having. I was afraid of losing her.

"Nick? Hey buddy!"

I blinked when I realized that AJ was waving a hand in front of my face. He laughed when I snapped out of my trance.

"Boy, what are you thinking about?"

The heat on my cheeks indicated to me that I was in the process of a full blown blush. "Nothing."

"Yeah, sure Nick," AJ scoffed.

Okay, I will admit that me slamming my beer down only added to an omission of guilt on my behalf. "Just drop it, okay AJ?"

I was resued by Lizz and Leighanne walking back to the table. As if on cue, the band started playing 'Open Arms.'

"Lizz, wanna dance?"

"Sure," she accepted my offer with a smile.



Taking her out on the dance floor felt right . We fit perfectly, it was a comfortable feeling - like a favorite sweatshirt you'd wear when you felt blue and needed inner reassurance that things would be alright.

We didn't speak to each other as we danced. I held her close and closed my eyes. Everything about that moment was good. I took in things about Lizz I never noticed before - the smell of her hair, her perfume had to be my favorite, I didn't know the name of it but I decided then and there that smell would be ingrained in my mind forever.

I tried to work up the courage to whisper three little words into her ear. Three very powerful and meaniful words, but the fear of rejection hung around me and I was afraid to tell Lizz what I felt inside. I licked my lips, and took a deep breath in. It was do or die time, I was going to risk my pride and tell her what I felt.

"Lizz?"

She looked up at me and smiled. "Nick?"

The music stopped. The song was over.

"Thanks, that was fun," I replied as we turned to walk back to the table.

I mentally slapped myself all the way back. Brian was engrossed in a conversation with Leighanne, making up for the lost time while she had been away in Europe during our trials and tribulations over the past year and Howie, Kevin and AJ were discussing stocks and investments. I was inwardly happy to think that they didn't see my failure out on the dance floor.

The waitress appeared at our booth. I quickly ordered another bottle of beer and a shot of tequila, thinking that would be courage for me in a shot glass. I ordered a salty dog for Lizz and then gestured at the rest of the group and simply stated, Another round for them.

The club band started playing Stayin Alive. I was about to ask Lizz to dance again when AJ jumped in before me.

"Yo Lizzard, let's go out and show these people how to dance!"

Lizz giggled and took AJ's hand and she left in an instant. I resigned myself to watch them out on the dance floor. For some reason, I felt as if AJ had stepped on something sacred. I watched them laughing and hamming it up on the dancefloor, both seemed engrossed with each other. It looked to me as if they were a couple that had been dating for years. To add insult to injury, they played a fast set which was roughly three songs in a row and the two of them stayed on the dance floor for the duration. I was seething when the drinks were finally served. I took the shot and dumped it down my throat, part of the drink oozed out the corners of my mouth. As I quickly wiped my mouth off, I caught the waitress and asked her before she left to bring back a double shot of whiskey. I guzzled my beer and slammed the bottle on the table as I watched AJ horn in on something that I wanted.

I could feel someone staring at me.

"Whoa, Nick, something bothering you?" Brian questioned.

I closed my eyes and groaned. God, he sure had a talent for reading me. "No, I m fine, the bottle slipped outta my hand, sorry."

Slouching back in my seat, I watched as AJ and Lizz left the dance floor, happily joking back and forth with each other. I felt as if I didn t exsist at that moment. I messed up and now AJ took full advantage of my mistake.

As I snatched the double that was set in front of me and tipped it, I saw Lizz and AJ staring at me through the glass. At that point I guess I didn t care. My feelings had been hurt and the whiskey seemed to ease the pain.

"Thanks AJ, that was awesome." I grinned as we left the dance floor.

"Yeah it was. Although I noticed you eyeing another guy. Lizz, I m hurt." AJ said.

I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at AJ. "What did you say?"

AJ cracked up. "Lizz it's so obvious. Why don't you just admit it?"

I continued to stare at him, my eyes wide. "I don't know what you are talking about. You're full of shit Aje, you really are."

He only laughed and shook his head. I felt the color rise in my cheeks, but pretended to ignore it. We reached our reserved table just in time to see Nick down a double in one quick gulp. I glanced at AJ before sliding down in the booth next to Nick.

"Whoa there, take it easy hun. You don t want to get totally trashed yet do you?" I said, laying a hand on his arm.

"Maybe I do." He said, shrugging my hand off, staring straight ahead. His words were slightly slurred.

I backed up, stung. "What's wrong?"

He turned to me, eyes hard. "What makes you think something's wrong? Just go back and dance with asshole some more. Don't worry about me."

"Hey!" AJ protested.

Brian and Lee had taken notice of the conversation and Brian put a hand on AJ's shoulder, silently telling him not to get started with Nick.

"Nick, we just had a few dances. Why are you so mad?" I asked, my voice quivering.

"You don't understand. Skip it." He growled, turning away from me.

Okay, that hurt. I hated when he said that. And on top of it he's going to tell me I don't understand?! Part of me wanted to cry, but the stubborn and slightly tipsy side of me made my temper flare.

"Okay fine! You know what? I've been really looking forward to doing something normal. Our lives have been so fucked up for so long and we finally get a night to have some fun and you turn into an ass. Obviously I screwed up your night somehow so I'll just stay out of your way." I said angrily, hot tears burning my eyes. Before the words were even out of my mouth, I had scooted out of the booth. Trying to keep from crying, I got up, grabbed my jacket and went out the front doors.

"Lizz, wait, you can t just take off like that!"

I turned around, hastily brushing tears off my cheeks. "I dont understand what I did to make him so mad."

"He feels really bad." Lee said softly.

I didn't say anything.

"Really, Lizz, when he's had a few drinks and he gets upset, he can get pretty mean." Leighanne explained.

"But I used to talk to him all the time when he was drunk. Well. not all the time, but way back before we met in person, he would get online sometimes when he was drunk. But he was never like this. He was always really goofy and uh, stuff." I broke off smiling at some of the things he used to say to me. They were bad and I loved teasing him about it. The next morning when he was sober, I would repeat some of the things he said and he would be mortified. He never remembered any of it.

"Probably because he was in good spirits when he was talking to you. If he gets upset, it's a different matter entirely." Lee surmised.

"Why is he so upset with me?" I asked in a small voice.

"I'm sorry, Lizzard."

Lee and I both turned around to see Nick standing there. The expression on his face made my eyes fill with tears again. Lee gave my arm a quick squeeze before slipping back inside.

"What did I do to upset you so much?" I asked softly.

"You didn't do anything. I'm so sorry. I was a jerk and I ruined your night." He said looking down.

I stepped closer to him. "Talk to me."

He looked up, his eyes brimming with tears. "I guess I just felt left out when you were having so much fun with AJ. I m sorry."

"Aw hun, I'm sorry. I totally lost track of time out there, But I was coming back to see if you would dance with me. We haven't had a chance to dance to any fast ones yet." I gave a tentative smile.

"You still want to?" A hint of a smile surfaced.

I grinned. "Of course I do."

"So we're okay then?" That smile grew. God I hated when he did that.

"Hell yeah we are. For future reference, no more fighting when we are a little less than sober, though." I linked my arm through his as we started walking inside.

"Deal. So you want another drink?"

I stared at him. "You realize we are gonna be so drunk."

"Yeah." He shrugged.

"Bring it on!" I said enthusiastically.

When we reached the table, everyone looked relieved to see us both smiling again.

"The war is over?" Howie joked.

I stared at him, my eyes saucers. The man was approaching piss drunk and fast. Hell, I knew he had is own club and everything, but somehow I didn t see this from him. It was hilarious.

"Oh it s over." Nick said with a sly grin, pulling me closer to him.

I giggled. "We need some Fuck Me Sillys. Nick, you gotta try a Fuck Me Silly!"

Brian stared at me, eyebrows raised.

"It's a drink." I laughed.

Brian looked at Lee and shook his head. "Maybe you oughta slow the drinks down a little."

"Party pooper." Nick rolled his eyes. He ordered the drinks while I excused myself to the ladies room.

The bathroom was crowded as club bathrooms always were. I waited for my turn at the sink so I could get rid of the mascara that my tears had smeared. To say I was relieved that everything was okay, was an understatement. I didn't want anything to ruin this night.

Never in my life would I forget that dance we shared. Never would I forget how good we fit, how good he smelled, how hot he looked. Even thinking those thoughts made the heat rise in my cheeks. Never had I felt so safe and protected than right at that moment. It was like magic, cheesy as that sounds. It was like, at that moment, nothing could hurt us or tear us apart. I wanted to tell him what I was feeling, but what if he didn't feel that way? I would feel like the hugest dumbass.

As I walked down the short hallway back to the table, the payphone started ringing. I stopped and looked around, but no one else seemed to take much notice in it. Hearing pay phones randomly ringing always cracked me up so I sauntered over to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe." A low voice drawled in my ear.

"Uh, do you know you are calling a pay phone?" I smirked.

"Sure do babe. I was looking for someone there at that club." The voice replied smoothly.

"And you think you are going to find her by calling a payphone?" I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe I did."

"I doubt that buddy." I snickered.

"See, she kinda had a thing going with my buddy, but that didn't turn out too well. I thought I would try a shot with her." He said, laughing. He was talking so low, it was hard to hear him, let alone tell how old he might have been.

"Well good luck bud. I've got some own fun to go have." I grinned as I peaked around the corner. Nick was talked to the guys, laughing at something. Suddenly I wanted to be there, with him, not on the phone with some freak.

"Hey, wait." He said sharply, his voice rougher.

I ignored him, shaking my head, and hung up the phone. Weirdo.

I bounded back over to Nick. "Come on, let's go dance." I grabbed his hand and attempted to pull him out of the booth.

"Took ya long enough. Here's your drink." He handed me the glass and stood up with me.

"Sorry, some guy called on the payphone and I picked up. He's looking for this girl that had a thing with his friend and for some reason he thought she would be the one to answer the phone or something." I shrugged.

Nick gave me a funny look.

"What?"

He shook it off. Nothing, lets go.

I completely lost track of all time as we danced, song after song. Whenever we needed a break, we went and had another drink. Or a round of shots. Howie was drinking with us, but the others were just relaxing at the table. I was having so much fun that I didn t notice that the dance floor began clearing out. Finally Kevin came up and told us that it was time to go.

As we all filed out, I noticed that I d had a lot to drink. Nick might have even been worse off than I was. Howie was pretty far gone too.

"You're drunk." I observed to Nick.

Brian turned around, he was walking arm in arm with Lee in front of me. "You are pretty trashed too, Lizz."

Yeah. Chimed in Howie.

"Well, you're shitfaced!" Nick pointed out.

"You're blitz."

"You both...are sauced!" I snorted.

Nick had his arm around me, but that turned to be a bad combination when I stumbled on the curb. I almost lost my balance, but Nick managed to keep me on my feet. Unfortunately, it made him lose his balance and his feet shot out from under him.

"You're drunk off your ass, Lizz!" He hollered as he hit the ground.

"Yeah and you are drunk on your ass!" I whooped.

Howie cracked up too. "It's your fault, you drunkard!" He nodded at me.

As Brian and AJ pulled a staggering Nick up, Kevin turned around. "You guys are obnoxious when you are drunk."

"You're obnoxious all the time." Nick shot back. Howie and I busted up again.

"Seriously, it isn't that funny." AJ shook head at us.

By now we were roaring.

The drive home was fun. Nick and I laughed at absolutely everything, Astonishingly neither of us or Howie had gotten sick yet, but I guessed we would before the night was over. As we headed up to our hotel floor I suddenly realized something. I think Brian and Kevin noticed too because they were huddled togehter talking. I ignored them and went back to watching Nick struggle with the room key. It was very amusing.

"Brian, we can t let them go in there together." Kevin warned.

"I know. It wouldn't be appropriate. But surely they wouldn't...well, I mean..." Brian trailed off.

"Bri, they are both piss drunk and it's obvious how they feel about each other. Nick won't remember any of it tomorrow and Lizz probably won't either. We can't let them do something they might regret." Kevin observed.

"Hey, I think the humidity made the card wider," I stated to no one in particular as I struggled to get the card to not only match up into the slot but also have the green light activated so the door could be opened.

"Humidity from your ass," Howie surmised, laughing.

After a few more tries, I was rewarded with a green light. Quickly, I pulled the handle and opened the hotel room door. "Bingo! Come on, Lizza," I half whispered/half shouted over my shoulder. The motion of the door swinging open, coupled with my inability to stand up steady, caused me to fall down onto the carpeted floor.

Instead of seeing Lizz standing over me, I was looking into Brian's face, his hand extended out towards me to help me back onto my feet. "Come on, buddy, up you go," he groaned as he tried to pull me up. "Nick, I think it would be a good idea for me to bunk with you tonight and Lizz can stay with Leighanne."

I declined the offer. "Nah, we're fine."

Brian's eyes locked onto mine. "It, um, well, it really wasn't an offer there Nick, it was more of an order."

"Huh? Why?"

"It's just not right--"

"Oh puhleeze," I interrupted. "YOU THINK YOU TWO WERE SUCH SAINTS BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED?!"

Okay, judging by the color on Brian's cheeks and Lee's for that matter, I was talking a little too loud. I guess I didn't care though too much, afterall, he was accusing me and Lizz of screwing the night away.

"Hey we're big kids here Brian," I snapped. Although my words were slurred, the point I was trying to convey seemed to have come across.

"Lizz, let's get some of your things so Nick can get some sleep," Leighanne suggested.

I could see the look on Lizz's face. It was almost a mixture of total embarrassment and yet total shock.

"I... I think that Nick and I would behave ourselves," she stated soberly. In a split second her seriousness dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"Oh good help Lizzard," I remarked before I started to laugh. Pretty soon we were joined in by Howie.

An exasperated Kevin sighed loudly. "Alright Howie, time to take you to your room to sleep it off."

"I can take him," AJ offered with a smirk. "I know the ropes to this little trip. Yo, Howard, dude, this way and try not to yak on the floor."

Howie winked at Lizz and I and made a half assed attempt at waving goodbye before AJ jerked him around and practically dragged him down the hallway. Howie burst into a melody of Dean Martin songs and both Lizz and I started laughing again, especially when I tried to join in along with him.

I didn't notice it until Lee walked out of our hotel room, Lizz's suitcase held firmly in her grasp. "Come on Lizz, time to get ready for bed." She kissed Brian and then whispered 'I love you sweetie' in his ear. "Call if you need me for anything."

Lizz looked back at me as she was being led four doors down the hall. I seized that opportunity and did a sign gesture, holding a prend phone up to my face and mouthing the words 'call me'. Lizz nodded to indicate she understood and started to laugh again, falling against the wall.

"Oopsie, careful honey," Lee quietly urged as she steadied Lizz onto her feet again.

"You know I'm pissed at you," I spat once the door closed to my room.

"Well, I'm not here to be liked Nick," Brian stated as he started turning down the bed.

I stood there, or rather swayed back and forth as I watched him.

"I think a cold shower would help you sober up a little."

"Ass."

Brian sighed. "Maybe not then."

When there was a firm knock on the door, Brian stopped in his quest to get me to go to sleep.

"It's Steve, Sparrow wanted you to have this," came the voice on the other side of the door.

I cocked my head to one side and started laughing again. Detail used code names for us, but for all practical purposes, no fans were in the hotel as of yet so there wasn't a need for code names yet and besides that, Sparrow was a dorky name for Lee.

"Aww, little horsie pj's Brian?" I observed as he walked past me, pajamas folded neatly under his left arm.

"Nick why don't you go and put your Barney boxers on and hop into bed?"

"Ouch, that hurt Bri... man, I'm really offended," I lied, sarcasim dripping in my slurred words.

Brian's only reply was the closing of the bathroom door.

Technically, I was alone. I could leave and be gone before he came out of the bathroom after brushing and flossing his teeth 86 million times - his usual godforsaken ritual of hygiene that drove me up the wall. He was so damn anal about washing his face, brushing his teeth, cleaning his nails. How Leighanne could put up with that was beyond me. Hell, maybe that was why she was so damn anxious to unload Brian on me and have Lizz stay with her.

That's when I finally realized what was going on.

I got screwed.

My attempts at trying to get to the door failed within three steps. I lost my balance and fell over onto the dresser that held a lamp. Needless to say, the lamp went crashing to the ground before I could stop it, causing Brian to come rushing out of the bathroom. He stared at my pitiful body, laying on the floor, lamp beside me, still glowing. Brian was the master of getting his point across without words. The raised eyebrow and the look in his eyes told me I was going to be in deep shit if I had made it out the door.

"I was gonna go say goodnight to Lizzard properly," I lied.

"I bet you were," he replied, his tone icy.

"Okay, I'll just get up...well, um, I'll just crawl back over to my bed and climb in," I announced as i switched over to my hands and knees after failing to stand upright on my own. As I crawled over to the bed, I could feel Brian's stare on my back the whole time. Once I managed to get into the bed, I pulled the covers up by my neck.

"Goodnight?" That came out more as a question rather than a statement.

"Goodnight Nick," Brian replied with a sweet voice. Little did I know he was mumbling under his breath that he was hoping I would have one of the worst hangovers in my life.

~*~*~*~*~

"Nick, time to get up, PR in an hour," Brian sing-songed as he pulled the curtians open onthe window that faced the balcony.

I managed to open an eye, the glare of the sunlight invaded my brain, the reality of the night before slowly seeped in. I gingerly rolled over, turning my back from the glaring sunlight, hoping all this would go away and leave me alone and let me get the sleep my body was craving.

"Nick? Didn't you hear me? You need to get up and get ready!" Brian urged.

As I tried to roll my eyes at the sound of Brian's voice, I stopped in mid-roll, god that hurt too damn much to do. "Go without me," I mumbled.

Suddenly, I felt the covers being dragged from my body. I reached out and grabbed a blanket and a struggle ensued.

"Get out of bed....NOW!" Brian said firmly through gritted teeth.

"No," I replied in a determined whisper.

Grabbing the edge of the blanket, Brian managed to give it a firm tug, pulling it completely off my body. "Don't make me call for reinforcements, Nick, you have a job to do, now get your ass out of bed."

Upon hearing Brian use the A word, I moaned. He meant business and ass was a pretty strong word for Brian to use. "I don't feel good."

"Too bad. You did this to yourself, you deal with it now. I can only guess that Lizz is feeling about as bad as you."

I blindly stumbled from the bed towards the bathroom. A hot shower may be what I needed, I decided.

~*~*~*~*~

"Lizz, honey, did you want to get up and watch the guys work this morning?" Leighanne asked in a soft voice.

Lizz's only reply was a quiet moan.

Leighanne bit her lip to keep herself from laughing.

"Oh my god, what did I do last night?" Lizz asked as she slowly rolled onto her back.

"Do you really want to know?"

Lizz shook her head and then moaned as she placed the palm of her hand on her forehead. "I think I know," she whispered.

"You go ahead and take a hot shower and I'll start up some coffee," Leighanne suggested.

Lizz didn't reply, she slowly rolled out of bed and plodded towards the bathroom in hopes of finding some type of renewal.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Nicky my boy, ya look like complete shit," AJ cackled as he clamped a hand on my shoulder.

Expertly, I dipped the shoulder, getting the offending hand off. I put the best smile on my face that I could manage and gazed over towards Howie, his face looking ashen, eyes bloodshot.

As I opened my mouth to point out Howie's looks compared to mine, a firm knock on the door interrupted me from my thoughts.

"Time to go guys, Sparrow and Condor will be waiting at the conference," one of the guys from detail stated in a business-like manner.

"Whoa, hold on, what name did you say?" I interrupted.

"Sparrow?"

I shook my head as I folded my arms across my chest. This wasn't good. "The other name," I replied, my jaw set.

"Oh, Condor?"

"Yeah, why in the hell did you use that name for?" I growled.

Brian shook his head. "Nick, calm down, it's just a name."

"It' s fuckin Manda's old name! I don't want Lizz associated with her!"

"Nick, chill, god, I thought you said there's nothing between you two," AJ intervened.

"There's not, but I just don't want you guys calling Lizz that name, okay? Pick something else!"

Everyone in the room exchanged uneasy glances at one another. "Defensive much? It's just a freakin name, Nick," AJ muttered.

"Just change the name! Now!"

"Robin."

"That's better," I calmly agreed.

"Good god man, let's go," AJ huffed. "I'm sure ROBIN will be worried sick about your ass."

"You realize that Robin is a sacred name," Brian observed solemingly.

I gave him a glance as we stepped onto the elevator, detail surrounding us.

"That's Batman's sidekick," AJ pointed out. "So, technically, your code name should be changed to Batman."

"Oh for the love of god," Kevin moaned.

"I keep telling you guys there's nothing between us, why aren't you listening? We're just good friends!" I defended.

"So were my parents," Howie remarked quietly.

Before I had a chance to reply in defense, the elevator reached its destination and the doors opened up to a group of girls clustered by the door. Normally we didn't travel in packs, each of us went in either in twos or separate, but this morning I caused the entire system to be thrown into chaos so we had to go to the conference together and togetherness was a security nightmare.

For a small group of girls, the screaming wasn't anything I was ready to deal with this morning with my hangover. I slipped on my pair of sunglasses, ready to almost face the bright Florida sunlight.

"OMYGOD! OMYGOD!"

Detail pushed us through the lobby and we thankfully made it to the hotel shuttle van and the driver wasted no time in putting the van in motion to the conference center. All but two from security followed in another van. The two body guards took their seats, one in the passenger and the other in the back of the van.

"Ya know...."

"Don t talk to me, don t start up," I snapped as I cut AJ off.

"Gum anyone?" Brian asked as he held a package of Wrigleys Spearmint. I could detect the uneasiness in his voice, he was always the one to try and make peace in our little circle, he hated arguments and confrontations.

"Thank god we're here," AJ grumbled as the van pulled up the the television station.

I slowly eased my body from the seat. I was anxious to see how Lizz was holding up. If she felt the way I did, she would be praying for a sudden and painfree death.

I sat in a horribly uncomfortable chair next to Leighanne and watched all the hustle-bustle around us. Men and women in sharp business suits were scurrying around, talking on cell phones and carrying thick stacks of papers. Just watching them wore me out even more and made me head pound all the harder.

"Lizz, are you doing alright?" Lee asked softly, smiling.

I groaned. "I wonder if Nick feels this crappy."

She chuckled. "I'm sure he does. Maybe if you guys hadn't tried to out-drink each other..."

I grinned, remembering our boasts to each other the night before. Nick seemed to think it was hilarious that I would even think that I could come close to winning since I was just a "tiny little thing." I gleefully pointed out that being half-German and half-Irish gave me a higher tolerance for alcohol than I probably should have. So started the war.

I think we both lost.

"Morning Ladies." AJ appeared in front of us. I hadn't even noticed him come up.

"What are you grinning at?" I stared up at him, indignant.

"Nothing, nothing at all." His smirk grew wider.

I shook my head, immediately regretting the action. The rest of the guys filed in and I observed that Howie looked pretty haggard. Nick was the last to straggle in, looking rather spaced out. He offered me a sorry attempt at a smile and sank into the chair next to me.

"How are ya feeling?" He asked, softly.

"Mmm...shitty, you?" I replied, smiling faintly.
"I want to crawl into a hole...a dark hole, and die." He mumbled.

"Yeah, and you have to go on TV feeling like that, too." I shook my head sympathetically. Dang it! Why did I keep doing that? You'd think I would have learned the first time, but nooooo. It would appear that I wanted to keep this headache.

"Hi Lizz, how are you feeling this morning?" Brian asked, after affectionately greeting Lee.

I groaned. "You have to ask?"

He frowned. "I knew you were a feisty one, but I don't think I expected last night."

"Lay off her." Nick growled.

I put a hand on Nick's knee. "Aw, don't be mad at me Bri. It's just that last night was the first time in sooooo long that we all could go out and have fun. Things actually seemed normal for once. Well, sorta..." I gave him the 'sad puppy-eyes'. I hated the idea that he was upset with me. "Besides, I wasn't that bad. I do remember everything that happened last night." I snickered. Nick never remembered anything after a night of partying. Way back when we used to chat online, we would have whole conversations when he was a little less than sober and he never remembered any of it when we talked the next morning.

"You sure you remember everything, Lizzard?" AJ asked, folding his arms over his chest.

A feeling of uneasiness washed over me. "What do you mean?"

Nick's head shot up also and I swear I felt him stiffen next to me.

AJ glanced at Howie and Kevin before continuing. "So, I guess the secret's out between you and Nick, huh?"

My heart stopped, it really did. Did I really say something last night about how I felt? Could I really have spilled my feelings in front of everyone? I suddenly felt very hot and I knew I was blushing furiously.

"Come on, AJ, knock it off. Leave them alone." Kevin chastised, biting back a smile.

"Dammit old man! You aren't any fun at all, you know that?" AJ huffed.

"Good morning, gentlemen. Are we ready to get started?" A smartly dressed woman pleasantly asked, coming out of nowhere.

Nick didn't even look at me as they all followed the woman to go get prepared for the interview. That suited me just fine. I was too embarrased. As soon as they left, a man came and asked Lee and I if we wanted to watch the guys from "behind the scenes." As we followed the guy to wherever he was taking us, I tried to work up the courage to as Leighanne what had really happened last night.

"Uh, Lee?" I ventured, hesitantly.

"Hmm?" She looked at me as we turned down another hallway.

"Did I, uh...um, say anything,last night, I mean. About Nick? Or um, how I, uh..." I stammered, hopelessly.

Leighanne chuckled. "No, honey. AJ was just teasing you guys."

"Thank God." I murmered under my breath, visibly relieved.

Lee smiled at me. "Would you like to talk about anything, Lizz?"

I opened my mouth to spill my guts, before I even realized it. She just had such a warm aura around her that made it easy to want to open up to her. Too easy. Catching myself, I clamped my mouth shut. No way in hell was I telling anyone how I felt. "Thanks, Lee, but everything's cool." I said lamely. Immediately I wanted to smack myself. How obvious was I? Idiot.

"Okay, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here." She smiled again.

"Thanks." I returned the smile, wanting more than anything to tell her EVERYTHING. Ugh.

The interview started a few minutes later. As many times as I have seen them on TV, this was totally different. It was so much more. I watched them, grinning ear-to-ear. Nick did a masterful job of being his usual self. Only because I knew him so well did I know that he felt like crap. Otherwise I never would have guessed. I thought about all the fans out there. If they only knew. I had to bite back a snicker, seeing as the sound crew told us that we had to stay completely silent.

The morning show host, whatever his name was, asked the usual interview questions. Most of them were from fans that had written sent their questions in. I waited nervously for that expected and dreaded question. Sure enough...

"So, Nick? A number of the fans wrote in to ask about Lizz. It seems that everyone wants to know if you two have become an item."

I held my breath and didn't move a muscle.

"We're uh, just close friends." Nick replied, after a moment's hesitation.

They moved on and I let out a sigh. I don't know if it was a sigh of relief or of disappointment. I rubbed my eyes with two weary fingers. I jumped when Lee reached down and squeezed my free hand with one of hers. She knew. Her eyes told it all, she knew.

"Well folks, that concludes our intwerview this morning. We'd like to thank the Backstreet Boys for coming to visit with us this morning and answering our questions. Stay tuned for a listing of their U.S. tour dates in a city near you."

The guys waved and smiled until the cameras stopped rolling. They filed off the set and over to where Lee and I were watching.

"Did I look as bad as I felt?" Nick sat back down next to me again.

"No, no, you looked great." I assured him. Instantly I froze. Did that sound obvious? NO! I was not going to let things get all weird between us.

"Lizz,are you are okay?" Nick stared at me.

"Huh? Yeah, I was just thinking. So what's next? Please tell me it's breakfast." I asked hopefully.

Nick laughed. "We'll see what we can do."

"Mr. Littrell? I've got a package for you. It was dropped off here at the station, but I didn't get a chance to give it to you before you aired." A young woman rushed up. She looked like she was probably a secretary. She thrusted the package into Brian's arms. He accepted it, mildly surprised.

I turned to Nick. "Is this a normal thing? How did anyone know how to get this in here to him?"

Nick frowned. "I don't know. No, this isn't how things are usually done. When fans send gifts, they don't go straight to us."

A small knot formed in the pit of my stomach as we all watched Brian tear the brown paper packaging off his gift. His look of confusion changed into an expression of shock and horror. His hands shook a little and he sank into the chair that was behind him.

"Honey?" Leighanne asked, alarmed.

"What is it?" Kevin reached for the object in Brian's hands.

All the color had drained from Brian's face. He pulled the rest of the paper off to reveal a magnetic letter board. Just like the one he had to use until he was able to regain his speech back.

"What is this? Why would...who..." He whispered, looking around at us.

I gaped at the letter board and the knot in my stomach grew bigger.

"Where did that come from?!" Kevin demanded.

The young woman looked shocked. "I, uhh...I don't know. It was left on my desk, but I never noticed anything out of the ordinary."

"How could you not have seen anyone?!" AJ glared at the girl.

"AJ." Howie said quietly, putting a hand on AJ's arm.

"I-I don't know. Maybe someone else saw someone. Should I ask around?" She suggested timidly.

Kevin nodded. "Please."

As soon as she left, Lee looked up from her seat next to Brian. She had a comforting arm around his shoulders. "Would someone please tell me what is going on?!" Her voice quivered.

"Brian used a letter board like that while he was recovering from whatever Agnes poisoned his system with." Howie told her softly.

"Do you think it's them?" AJ ventured, his voice barely audible.

"NO!" I exclaimed.
Nick put an arm around me. "Lizza..."

I pulled away. "No! It can't be them. It can't be..." I trailed off, putting my head in my hands. There was no use arguing the point. It was clear that it was them. Somehow they had found out that we were here and had gotten in.

"Why would they do this?" Asking what Brian had tried to ask before, but could barely get out.

"To scare us." AJ said bitterly.

"What if it's more than that?" Leighanne suggested in a hushed voice.

We all looked at her. "Lee's right. What if it was a threat?" Howie agreed.

"The hell it is!" Nick exploded. "They get near him again and..."

"Um, excuse me." The secretary interrupted. She had several people with her, one of them probably her manager and two security guards. "I asked everyone on this floor and no one noticed anything."

I barely paid attention as the man introduced himself as some manager and explained that nothing out of the ordinary was called to his attention. Calls were made and it seemed like everyone was grilled, but nothing turned up. The guys' managers decided that security would be tightened, but didn't see the "gift" as a real threat. We were too well protected, they said.

My confidence was still shaken. I could tell Nick's was too because he stayed right by my side and Brian's as well. We ended up being stuck at that TV station for another two hours while details were ironed out and precautionary measures were taken. We were all reassured that we had nothing to worry about, but the damage had been done.

I could hardly look at Brian. The look on his face just broke my heart. Seeing that magnetic board and being forced to so vividly remember going through all that...I don't think any of us had any idea how hard that had to have been for him. Being stuck, helpless, in a body that wouldn't work and not knowing if he was ever going to recover. Not knowing if he was ever going to be able to sing again. Not being able to have his wife there with him and the uncertainty of not knowing if he was ever going to see her again. He still wasn't 100% yet, but then that wasn't going to happen this soon.

~*~*~*~*~

Four days later and we were in North Carolina. I think...Nick kept telling me that I was going to get tired of touring and I'm sure it'll happen, but so far, it was still too new to me.

The magnetic letter board scare turned out to be just that: a scare. We were all on edge for the next couple days, like waiting for disaster to strike. Nothing happened though so we all sort of eased back into the life of touring. My nightmares came back full throttle, but other than that, things were better.

My worry that things might turn awkward with Nick because of how I felt were unfounded. There was nothing that could come between us, not to metion, I hid my feelings well. Unfortunaltey, they were getting stronger, if that was at all possible.

"Niiiickkkkk...I'm boooorrreeedddd." I whined. We had just gotten to the hotel about an hour ago. We had recently found out that the fans had somehow been misinformed on our whereabouts. Evidently a rather large crowd had formed at a nearby Sheraton. We were in a Radisson. For some oddball reason, this greatly amused me and I wanted to run with it.

"What did you have in mind?" Nick was reclining on the other bed in our room. After some arguing, Nick managed to convince Brian that it was fine for us to room together, provided we didn't drink.

I gave him a mischevious smile. "I dunno, you're the expert."

He laughed. "Ya know, I did see some vending machines..."

I stared at him, my eyes growing to saucers. "Oh my god, the pop-tarts!" I exclaimed, busting up.

"You want to?" He gestured to the door.

"Hell yeah!" I grinned enthusiastically. Another thing from our chats "way back when." It was the great poptart scheme and I laughed so hard when he told me about it that I nearly fell out of my chair.

"Let's go up a floor, that way we won't get caught." He suggested, slipping the key card into his back pocket. I followed him out the door, looking cautiously for anyone that might get us into trouble. We weren't supposed to go anywhere without telling detail first.

Thankfully, the hallways were empty so we hurried to the staircase at the end of the hall. "You have change?" Nick whispered as we climbed the flight of stairs.

"Yup." I snickered. We stopped at the landing and Nick carefully opened the door. I peeked around him and was surprised to see this hallway empty too. "Where is everyone?" I whispered.

"Waiting for the perfect time to use the vending machines." He whispered back, grinning.

We made our way down the hall and around the corner. There was an ice machine, a pop machine and a vending machine all side by side.

"Here, give me the money." He whispered, holding out his hand. I swear, two little horns were poking out of the top of his head.

"Sweet! They've got em!" I pointed to the blueberry poptarts on the third row.

Nick smirked as he fed the quarters into the machine and the poptarts thudded to the bottom. As he was reaching in to get them, I heard the elevator button ding.

"Nick, hurry! Someone's coming!" I hissed.

He looked over his shoulder and hastily tore the paper off the poptarts. With a quick grin to me, he shoved the poptart into the money slot, crumbs falling everywhere. I started kicking at the crumbs to hide them, but Nick grabbed my hand.

"Come on!" He pulled me back into a tiny corner with him. We were wedged between the ice machine and the wall, barely out of sight. We held our breaths as the footsteps grew louder. They stopped and I had to fight the urge to peek around the corner. I heard a rustling then, "What the hell?!"

Nick and I looked at each other and I started to snicker. He swiftly clamped a hand over my mouth, his own twitching. More footsteps sounded and we both froze, listening.

"Hi, there."

"Yeah, hi. Uh, I hope you weren't planning on getting something out of there. Some dumb kid shoved something in the money slot..." The irritated man explained.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding." A woman's disappointed voice replied. "Well, maybe another floor then. Would you like to join me?"

"Nah, thanks. It ain't worth the trouble." The man grumbled.

Nick's eyes met with mine and I could tell it was taking all of our power to not totally bust up. When I figured I was composed enough, I took his hand off my mouth. Only I didn't let go right away.

He didn't either.

Suddenly I realized how close we were standing. Our eyes locked and my heart started beating a little faster. Instinctively I started to close my eyes.

"Hey! What the hell?" An all too familiar and annoyed voice demanded.

Busted...

My eyes flew open when I heard the distinctive sound of AJ's rasp bellow in the vending machine room. I stared into Lizz's eyes before I turned to address the voice.

"Oh, hi AJ," I causally greeted. Judging by his body language, he was geared up to fire questions at me, a dollar bill was hanging from his left hand, his billfold in the other. "So.. um, what s new?"

"You ass, why did you have to go and ruin the only vending machine that had Munchos in them?!" AJ demanded.

"How the hell was I gonna know you were gonna go up a freakin floor to get snacks?"

A smile slowly crept up on AJ s lips as he looked at Lizz and I. "Obviously you two didn t plan on anyone catching you in the act!"

My body stiffened at AJ's accusation. I could feel the heat rise into my cheeks, the feelings of embarrassment coupled with anger filled my mind. I felt that Lizz surely didn't have the feelings I had and to have AJ point it out so bluntly made me want to sink back towards the ice machine and hide. I couldn't look at Lizz, I knew she had to be feeling humiliation having AJ throw that in her face. Granted I was about to kiss her before AJ rudely interrupted us, but that probably was just the heat of the moment and she more than likely would have slapped my face after I kissed her.

"What are you talking about?" Lizz piped up.

AJ chuckled. "It's obvious, you two are in love, admit it so we can get on with it."

Before I could answer, a hotel patron entered the vending machine room, ice bucket in her hands. Her mouth dropped open as she looked at the three of us standing in the room.

AJ cleared his throat. "You might want to go to another floor, the snack machines been sabotaged."

I rolled my eyes at AJ.

"Oh.. oh, no, I just wanted," the woman stammered and then held out the green hotel bucket, "I just needed ice."

Feeling stupid and at a loss for words at the moment, I grabbed the bucket from her and held it under the ice spout. The ice poured out rather noisily than I had ever noticed before. "Here ya go."

She smiled sheepishly and nodded and said a quiet thank you before turning away and walking back towards her room.

Mercifully, my pager went off just as AJ opened his mouth to continue his discussion. I glanced at the numbers. "Hey, I gotta go, my mom's paging me. Come on Lizz."

We made it back to our floor, but not without difficulties. Evidently the woman that caught us in the vending machine was a fan and word was leaking out as to what hotel we were at.

"I can't believe how quick that spread," Lizz stated as I slammed the door shut to our hotel room.

"Never takes long," I replied as I laid the room card on the table and threw my body onto the bed.

"I guess I'm gonna slip into the shower, okay?"

"You know you don t have to have permission," I snapped. I saw the hurt look on her face and I immediately regretted my mouth. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong, I guess my nerves are getting fried."

"It's understandable."

Sighing, I laid back onto the bed after the bathroom door clicked shut and the water started running. Staring at the ceiling, a million thoughts were floating in my mind. I wondered if Lizz felt about me like I was feeling towards her. I looked at my life and wondered why the hell would anyone want to share it with me? Was I capeable of having a relationship?

"Nick you re being stupid! Knock it off!" I mumbled outloud to myself. I couldn't second guess her thoughts. I had to confront her with my feelings. I had to take the risk. But how? How could I do this?

Dragging my body off the bed, I approached the bathroom door. A playful part of me wanted to go in and join her in the shower, the sensible part of me mentally slapped my brain for even thinking such things. "I love you Lizz."

There, I said it.

"What did you say Nick?" Lizz called out of over the sound of the shower.

"I said I'm going to Brian s room, I should be back in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay," she called back.

Grabbing the room card off the dresser, I mentally kicked myself. "Nick, you're such a coward."

*~*~*~*~*~*

"How much farther to Raleigh, Momma?" Terri called out from the back of the rickety stolen van.

"Oh not too much further baby, right Vinnie?"

Vincent only smiled and grinned with a gap-toothed grin, compliments of one too many fights in the prision. "You know we all have our reasons for hating Carter and lemme tell you, I'm the first one to get him, not you!"

Agnes shook her head. "Vinnie, your stupidity only laid you in the slammer. If you had been smart you would have kept your mouth shut and did that girl and his friend in when you had the chance. That would have made that boy suffer for quite some time before we tortured him to death."

"Well I beg to differ Momma, look at me!" Terri seethed as she slammed her fists onto her numb thighs. "I can't walk anymore and I need help doing anything I want. He broke my back and he needs to pay for this!"

"Well, he not only paralyzed my baby, he killed my boy and took your lover in the beginning. He needs to have justice served!" Agnes spat.

"Yeah yeah yeah....alright shuddup! We all have reasons for hating Carter. I sent them a package to that fancy place in that one hotel to shake things up a bit for them, make them keep looking over their shoulders," Vinnie grinned and then belched.

"I hope it was poison!" Terri laughed.

"Good idea, but no we will save that shit for later, this was a mind game I was playing on his little friend that Brian freak...whoops, almost lost it," Vinnie laughed as he steered the van back onto the pavement from the shoulder of the road.

Agnes smacked Vinnie on the back of the head. "Watch the road you fool, we can't draw attention! What did you send to that kid?"

"When he lost his voice and used that one magnet board, I sent him a new one," Vinnie laughed. "I bet they were squirming wondering where in the hell that came from!"

"Good idea! We can play some more cat and mouse until the time is right and then.....bang! We got em," Terri grinned as she held a clenched fist into the air.

"Vincent! There's the exit, turn here!" Agnes barked.

"Oops, okay then, we find a hotel to lay low in and then we wait for the perfect time and the perfect place. According to the schedule, they're supposed to be here for three days! Besides, I want to hear pretty boy's reaction to the latest little gift I sent to him!"

"Three days to mess with their heads," Terri grinned. Soon she was joined in with Agnes and Vincent's malicious laughter.

*~*~*~*~*~

"Okay Nick, just do it, that's easy according to Brian, he said to just tell her," I coached myself as I walked back towards the hotel room that Lizz and I shared.

"OHMYGOD! NIIIIICK!

I turned to see a cluster of girls standing in the hall. My only thought was escape, but I knew that would be silly to try and outrun a group of twelve teenagers. If I gave them the complimentary autographs and smile for some pictures, I could escape back into my room. I pasted a smile on my face. Okay, I guess judging by their reaction that wasn't a good idea.

"Hey, calm down, please!" I pleaded as some of the girls started screaming. We were in a freakin hotel hall for crying out loud! My eyes darted, praying I would see someone from detail in the hall to save me. No such luck. "Okay, I can only sign some autographs and some pictures but we have to----" oh god I was blinded by a camera that flashed into my eyes only inches from my face. I put my hand to my eyes and I could still see the blinding flash and the voice of one girl saying "oh great Rachel, you blinded Nick Carter!"

"Nick? I want you to have this," someone from the cluster hollered and thrusted a small box at me.

I clumsily grabbed at it, missing it at first but then managed to connect with it. "Thanks."

My vision was coming back and I could see that the crowd was growing. I suddenly realized that if I didn't make a move for my door, there would be a security issue happening in a matter of minutes. Clutching the box I bade my apologies and quickly pushed my way through the sea of disappointed faces only to have a few more cameras being flashed into my eyes and someone screaming into my ear.

"What the heck happened with you and Brian? You look like you ve seen a ghost," Lizz questioned once I managed to slam the door shut behind me.

"Girls," was all I managed to spit out.

"Girls?"

"There s a mob out there," I replied as sank on the corner of my bed.

"You're afraid of teenagers? Since when?" Lizz snickered.

I could thankfully hear the sounds of men's voices and walkie talkies which indicated that detail was now on our floor and clearing out the commotion of fans that had gathered. Lizz noticed the noise as well, her eyes widened.

"Go out in the hall and find out," I grinned.

"Um, no thanks, I think I can take your word for it," she replied. Her eyes focused on the small package that was laying next to me. "What's that?"

I looked at the small box. "Oh, something one of those girls out in the hall handed me."

Lizz's face grew serious. "Throw it out!"

"Huh?"

"Don t open it, throw it out," she insisted.

"Oh come on, don't be silly, it's from a fourteen year old girl, I'm sure it's harmless, I stated as I picked the package up and tore at the decorative paper. See, it's harmless, a bottle of bath wash. She must of thought I smelled funny."

"I'm sorry, I get paranoid sometimes..." Lizz remarked, her voice trailing.

I walked over to where she was standing and cupped chin with my hand, trying to get her to look into my eyes. "Hey, I have the same thoughts, but I seriously don't think we have to worry about a fourteen year old fan, okay? Those people are in prison, far, far away from....where are we again?"

"Raleigh Nick, Raleigh, North Carolina," Lizz smirked.

I smiled. "Yeah that too." I turned and scooped up the bottle of body wash. "Okay, I'm going to take a quick shower with this bottle of sea breeze scent and when I get done, I want to sit down and have a talk with you, okay?"

Lizz smiled and nodded.

"Okay, see you in a few, don't go missing me."

Her only response was giggling. God, I how couldn't I not love that?

"Hehehe, like okay Nick." I mocked myself in a ditsy voice as Nick disappeared into the bathroom. How obvious was I? He probably went in there either laughing at me or thinking I am a total spaz. Ugh, this was so toturous!

I flopped down on my bed and proceeded to flip the channels. The noise in the hallway died down, much to my relief. Even though nothing came out of that stupid letter board, I was still a little uneasy. I hated that wacked out family for making me so paranoid and untrusting. I've always been the type to look for the best in people no matter what. I still do that, but it's not the same. There are now a small handful of people that I would just as soon kill them as look at them. A chill came over my body when I realized that I actually had killed one of them.

I committed murder. That haunted me day and night. Never a dream went by without that gruesome death scene playing over in my head. As much as that tore me up inside, if it came down to it again and a gun was being held at Nick, I would kill again.

" AHHHHHH, SON OF A BITCH!!!"

I jumped at the horrific sound of Nick's screams. I raced to the door, my heart pounding. "Nick! NICK!" I called frantically, throwing the door open. Nick stood outside the shower, hastily wrapping a towel around his waist, dripping wet and visibly shaken.

"What? What happened?!" I cried, grabbing his arm.

He didn't say a word, but pulled the shower curtain back, barely holding the edge of it with two fingers.

"Oh my god! I croaked, backing away." The floor of the shower was crawling with black spiders. "Those-those" I stuttered.

"Were in that bottle of bath soap. God, Lizz, I shoulda listened to you and gotten rid of it. I opened the bottle and went to dump it in my hand and they just poured out." He shuddered and I wrapped my arms around him. Despite the grim circumstances I couldn't help but notice that he was only wearing a towel. Then the spiders flashed across my mind and I pulled away.

"Can we get outta here?" I nodded to the shower.

"Gladly." He agreed. Out in the room, he started rummaging through his backpack for some clothes.

"Nick, do we need to wash them down the drain? I don t want them coming in here." I grimaced at the thought of spiders crawling on me in my sleep.

"We'll get detail to do it. As soon as I get dressed." He gave me a pointed look.

"Oh!" I turned around, my face heating up. But how ludicrous was that? With what just happened, how could I be thinking things like that? Easy, I was scared and was trying to avoid thinking about it. "Are you sure it was a 14 year-old girl?" I asked, hugging my knees to my chest.

"Come to think of it, no. A camera went off right before I was handed the package. I couldn't see jack shit. The whole time...okay...I was out there, cameras were going off so I never saw anyone." He interrupted himself, giving me the okay to turn back around.

"There's no way this is a coincidence too. Nick, you know that." I said, my eyes trailing back towards the bathroom. I did not want to see any spiders come crawling out from under that door.

Nick came over and sat down by me. "Agnes may have escaped, but she wouldn't have tracked us down by herself and done all this on her own. If this is her, and we don't know that, she still can't get close to us. The letter board was dropped off and that," he nodded towards the bathroom, "could have been given to someone else to give to me. There is no way she can get close enough to us to hurt us. We'll just have to be extra careful with gifts and stuff." He reassured me.

I nodded, feeling a little better. "Should we tell the others?"

"I don't think so, it would just freak them out. Especially Brian. That board really shook him up and I don't want to add to it. I just want him to keep focusing on getting better." Nick said emphatically.

"Yeah, you're right. About cleaning that up though..." I grimaced.

Nick shook his head. "Detail."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "I hate the idea of showering in there again. I mean, spiders don't really freak me out, but that is a little much for me."

"Well, I could go in there with ya to protect ya." Nick grinned playfully.

I blushed. "Aren't we the funny one!" I smacked him on the arm for good measure, hoping he missed my grin. Shame on me for such thoughts! Then I remembered what he had said earlier. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

I turned around, surprised to see him on the phone already, probably calling detail. I guess he didn't hear what I had asked. Ah well, later.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Nick, I m booooorredd." I sing-songed as I paced the floor.

"Lizz! Don't even go there, look what happened last time you got bored!" Nick exclaimed, setting his Sports Illustrated down. "Besides, how can you be bored? We've been running our asses around all damn day. Sit down, you're wearing me out!" He flashed me an exasperated smile.

Today was another one of those early days. I woke up to Nick shaking me, telling me to get up or I would have to leave the hotel room looking like I did. That was enough for me. There were way too many people out there to see me in my boxers and tee shirt, not to mention totally disheveled hair. It was a long day and it wasn t even close to being over. The guys made another TV appearance (no bad gifts this time, thank God), a photo op, and a couple of those mini interviews that I know Nick hates. Now we were back in the hotel until it was time to go to the venue. I smiled to myself just thinking about it. Nick assured me that I would get tired of seeing the show over and over, but I knew I wouldn't. I loved watching them perform and that was something I would never get tired of. "Okay, I'm hungry then." I stopped and flopped down on Nick's bed.

"We're gonna eat at the venue. We re leaving at 6:00. Can you wait that long?" He put the magazine down again.

"Ni-iick! That s almost an hour away from now!" I pouted, batting my eyelashes. Okay, normally I hated them because they were always hitting the back of my sunglasses, but sometimes they came in handy.

He laughed. "Order room service then, piggy."

"Hey! Just for that, I m not sharing." I paused. "Okay, I ve stayed in a ton of hotels, but I have never ordered room service. Do I, uh."

Nick rolled his eyes. "Allow me. Grilled cheese okay?"

"Perfect. Not too heavy, but it will hold me over till the banquet." I grinned, watching him dial room service. "Thank you, maybe I'll share."

"You better." He grumbled, hidden back behind the magazine. I could tell he was smiling though.

I wandered aimlessly around the room, waiting impatiently for my food. The window shades were pulled, but I snuck a careful peek around the curtain. The sky was not only dark, but lightning flashed off the distance. I smiled inwardly. Storms were my all time favorite kind of weather and I had to push back the urge to go chase it. Old habits die hard My stomach growled, and I looked quickly at Nick to see if he had heard. Thankfully, he was too engrossed in the magazine to notice. A quick knock at the door got my attention and I hurried to the door. I had my hand on the handle, ready to whip it open when I thought of something. "Uh, Nick, we tip right?"

He snickered. "Yes, Lizz, always. Money is on top of the TV."

"Right." I nodded, grabbing some bills. But when I opened the door, no one was there. In fact, the hallway was totally empty.

"You forgot your tip, dumbass." I muttered, kneeling down to pick up the tray that was on the doorstep. Somehow I thought the service would be a little better at a hotel like this. Oh well, I had my food, thats all I cared about. Even though I was just bringing it back into the room, I couldn't help myself as I lifted the lid on the plate. "AHHHH!' I screamed, jumping back, only to lose my balance and landing on my butt. The lid clattered to the floor and I looked frantically up and down the hall. "NICK!!

"Lizz?! What is it??!" Nick rushed up behind me. I felt him kneel down and take my shoulders. I lifted a shaky hand to the tray in front of me. Instead of my grilled cheese sandwich, two bloody rats laid on top of the bread. A note, written in what looked like blood, wrote, YOU WILL DIE LIKE THE RATS YOU ARE!

"What the fuck?!" Nick hollered. "WHERE ARE YOU, YOU BASTARDS?!

Several doors flew open.

"Nick? Lizz?" Brian rushed out of his room. When his eyes fell on the rats, he paled.

"What the hell kinda prank is that?!" AJ demanded, glaring at us.

"It wasn't a prank AJ!" I cried. "We ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and when I opened the door, no one was here and this was on the floor."

"Lizz, are you sure you didn t see anyone?" Kevin asked, his face a mixture of anger and more anger.

I shook my head. The hall was totally empty.

"This shit is not going to keep happening!" Kevin seethed.

"God, that's so gross." I stared at the rats. "I can't believe they would even want to touch those." I was starting to breathe a little more normal now. The fact that Nick stayed next to me, reassured me. "It's okay though, right? I mean, she was here, but we're all okay. She can't do anything to us now and now detail is gonna be all over the place so we'll be safe right?" I asked, trying to convince myself.

"No one is getting close to us." Nick said in a low voice.

I sighed. We were all sort of hovering in front of Nick and I's door. I wasn't sure why, but I guess maybe we felt safer all together. At least I felt that way. " Well, I know this is going to sound gross after our little rat meal, but I m still hungry." I offered a tentative smile, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Please tell me you are joking, Lizz." Brian groaned.

"Hey, you are talking to the girl with the iron stomach." I joked.

"Good you are a perfect match for dumbass, then." AJ quipped.

"Hey." Nick protested. "You sure you don't want the sandwich, Lizzard?"

"Yeah, a rat sandwich doesn't quite do it for me." I laughed. Even though I was still mildly shaken, I wasn't going to let it get to me. I was perfectly safe here with the guys. No one was going to even get near us, not now. This was just another sick joke to scare us.

"How about rat soup?" Offered Howie, a smiling forming.

"Howie!" Brian exclaimed, disgusted.

"Rat pot-pie?" Nick added, laughing at the green tint that was forming on Brian.

"Guys, come on, that's sick." He complained.

"Well, I've had rat pie." Kevin informed us, his face deadpan. We all stared at him in shock. "Yeah, it was about 4 years ago, somewhere over in Europe. It wasn't that bad."

"Kevin, you're kidding. Right?" Brian stared up at his older cousin, a look of pure horror twisting his features.

"Yes, I'm kidding. Now enough of the rat-talk. We need to deal with this mess". Kevin shook his head at our gullibleness. I cracked up, just picturing it. Nick was laughing too and despite the circumstances, I felt a lot calmer. Agnes could scare us all she wanted, but she wasn't going to get close enough to us to hurt us.

Suddenly, without warning, we were plunged into darkness. Being in the middle of the hallway, where there weren't any windows, it was pitch black.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed, alarmed.

"Shit." Nick said softly.

"Okay this isn t cool." AJ groused.

"It's probably just the storm. The lights will come back on in a second here." Kevin reassured us.

I shuddered in the darkness. I didn't like this at all. I felt a hand graze across my cheek and I jumped. "Nick! Don t do that!" I yelped.

"What?"

"You- you touched my cheek." I stammered, suddenly feeling sick.

"I didn't" He trailed off as the lights came back on. It was just the six of us, but now other doors were opening all down the hallway. "Oh god" He stared in horror at me.

"What?" I whispered. They were all starting at me, totally horrified. My cheek felt sticky. "What is it?" I cried, starting to tremble.

"Lizz." Nick started. His eyes scared me. He looked angry and scared at the same time. He started to move towards me, slowly as if afraid I was going to flip out.Slowly, I reached my hand up to my cheek. It was met with a cold, sticky substance and my stomach twisted. My heart started racing and I felt the panic rise. My eyes flickered around the hallway before settling on the hand that I had held out in front of my eyes. It was covered in blood.

I couldn t help but lay on the bed and wonder as I stared at a sleeping Lizz as the tour bus sped down some highway towards Boston, MA. The past few days in Raleigh was weird. After the incident with the blood smeared across her cheek, there were a few other incidents, rather coincidences that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I tried to dismiss them as coincidences, but in the back of my mind, I wondered if this was Agnes seeking revenge.

My two-way beeped and I glanced at the name in the screen. Dumbass.

I sighed, debating if whether I really wanted to talk to AJ right now or not. He kept beeping so I decided I better answer or Lizz would wake up.

"Yeah?" I answered as I stood up and walked towards the front to the living quarters.

"So have you said anything to her yet?"

I rolled my eyes and groaned inwardly. Why was AJ so committed into finding out about my personal life? "What does it matter to you?"

"Ah, so you didn t say anything, god Carter, I swear you re such a coward!"

"I am not," I defended, feeling the heat rise to my face.

"Then just tell her!"

"AJ, this conversation is done, bye," I replied and with the same motion, shut the phone off. I knew he would keep it up until I either caved in or gave him the answer he was waiting for. God, you would think he was my dad or something.

I decided that I would have to do something, suck it up and confront Lizz with my feelings. The groundwork had been laid, so-to-speak, but I was such a coward, I was afraid that if I told her my feelings she would laugh at me or reject me. I don't think I could stand that. If I read what had happened in that vending machine room before AJ interrupted us, we were going to kiss, at least I think she wanted me to kiss her.

"God Carter, it's something so simple, why do I have to keep making it so fucking hard?"

"Make what so hard?"

I spun around to see a disheveled looking Lizz, hair all touseled, sleep still in her eyes, cheeks pink.

"Oh, it s nothing," I lied, unable to confront my feelings yet.

"You are a bad liar Nick, you know that. Tell me what's wrong," Lizz asked as she plopped down onto the couch, patting the cushion next to her. "Maybe I can help you."

"Hey did you see the look on Brian's face the other day during lunch?"

"Nice try in changing the subject. Come on, don't shut me out, something's bugging you and I want to help, I'm a good listener."

I turned my back to her as I walked towards the windows and peered out from under a mini blind. "I doubt you can help when it involves you."

I was expecting her to say something to me, but I was met with dead silence. I turned around to see her sitting there, her face ashen, tears in her eyes. I suddenly realized that I did what I was so good at doing: saying one thing and meaning something completely opposite than what had been said.

"Oh, shit, no Lizz, it s nothing bad, please don t cry!"

"Did I say something to hurt you? Embarrass you?"

"NO, god, please listen to me, there's something I've been wanting to tell you, but I've been too much of a wuss to come right out and say it," I grasped at words, hoping this time I was making sense.

"Okay," came the quite reply.

I suddenly realized that I was spinning my tires and digging myself into a deep hole. Lizz was never this quiet unless she had her feelings hurt. I must have hurt her feelings or she was being guarded about her feelings. 'Nick you have to stop analyzing her moods, just tell her, dammit,' I mentally coached myself.

"Okay, how long have you and I known each other? A year? Two years?"

"One year and eighteen months," came the reply, this time she was grinning. Thank god she was grinning.

I nervously smiled back at her.

"Okay, during that one year and eighteen months," she giggled at my emphasis of the eighteen months. "Do you think we've gotten to know each other pretty good?"

"Yes, because I know how to piss you off pretty good and you know how to definately piss me off," Lizz teased.

"Besides that," I began again as I sat on the cushion next to her.

"Well, yeah, I think I've really gotten to know you pretty good. The real Nick Carter versus the media fabricated Nick Carter, and I really like the real Nick dispite the moodiness and you being grumpy," she smiled.

"I really like your bitchiness," I smirked and then smacked her with a throw pillow for good measure.

"HEY, you are going to so pay for that one, Carter!"

"Oooooh, I'm so scared," I mocked.

A brief pillow fight ensued, too brief for my liking because it was buying me time to tell her my true feelings. I was still scared of rejection.

CRASH

"Oh shit, that wasn't something valuable, was it?" Lizz asked sheepishly.

"Nope," I replied as I took the pillow and pushed it into her face.

"Nick!"

I froze when I realized I was probably suffocating her to death. That was probably not a good idea since her lungs were still a little compromised from the transplant.

"Lizz, I love you," I blurted.

She was gasping for air momentairly and then her eyes focused on mine. "What did you say? I'm sorry I didn't here you."

Figures, I get the balls to tell her and she didn't hear me again.

I took a deep breath and willed the courage again. "Lizz, I'm in...."

The lurching of the bus threw me against her tiny body. When the sound of squealing tires and crunching metal hit our ears, our eyes locked and I instinctively threw my arms around her to protect her.

"Hold on," I yelled.

She didn't get the chance to answer me, the next thing I knew, something hard came down on my head and everything stopped.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Nick!" I screamed as I watched his eyes roll back into his head. His grip on me loosened so I held on tighter, determined to keep us together. The bus was fishtailing and I knew we were out of control. Suddenly, almost as if someone had pushed the slow-motion button on their VCR, all movement ceased. In a split second, the bus started to tip. Nick and I were thrown roughly to the floor and my desperate grip on him was torn away. Stuff was being thrown everywhere, hitting me and probably Nick in the process.

I landed hard and the impact knocked the wind out of me. I laid face up, unmoving on the floor of the bus. Only thing was, windows were straight above me. That would mean we had tipped over and I was actually laying on the side of the bus, right? "Nick?" I called, disappointed in my weak voice. I started to roll over, letting out a sharp gasp as my broken body protested to the movement. "God..." I murmured. "What the hell happened?" My eyes widened as I took in the surroundings. It looked like a tornado had blown through, wrecking havoc on everything it touched. Furniture was overturned and broken. Cabinet doors were open and shattered dishes were scattered about. I forced myself to sit up, groaning softly. "Shit! Nick! Why couldn't I think straight??"

I very quickly noticed the left arm of my dark sweatshirt was soaked in blood. Slowly, I crawled over to Nick. Putting any weight on it was out of the question. It hurt like a bitch. I pulled the neck of my sweatshirt away to try to steal a peek of the injury. Okay, that s pretty...About three inches below my shoulder was a pretty little gash. Nick was laying prone, a few feet away from me. From what I could tell, he was unconscious.

"Nick, honey, open your eyes." I coaxed, trying to fight the panic that was building. I needed to stay calm. There was a nasty cut on his forehead and it was bleeding freely. I grabbed a kitchen towel and pushed it up against his head. I'd hoped the pressure would get him to wake up, but he didn't even stir. Even in my clouded mind, I realized that we were in trouble if I didn't think quick. "Nicky, sweetheart, I'm going to go try to get help. I'll be right back okay? I love you."

I crawled over to an overturned table, using one of the legs to pull myself up. "Okay, just take it slow." I coaxed myself. I staggered over to the door and was surprised to be faced with floor of the bus. I looked up, gasping as a wave of dizziness washed over me. The door was above my head, along with a row of windows, but there was no way I could pull myself through one of them with my arm hurt like it was. "Maybe, oh no..."

"Dave?" I yelped, rushing over to our bus driver. He was laying sideways in his seat, the seat belt having prevented him from going anywhere. I held a shaky hand out, almost afraid to touch him. I took a deep breath and felt the side of his neck for a pulse. When I felt a steady beat, I sighed with relief. Unfortunately, he was unconscious as well.

It was gonna have to be one of the windows above my head. I went back to the table that I had used before and turned it right side up. Slowly, and nervously I climbed on top of it. To my relief, the window was a lot closer to me than I had thought. Fueled by pure adrenaline, I pulled myself as carefully as I could through the broken window, wary of the shards of broken glass that rimmed the edge. If any of it cut me, and it probably did, I was too much in shock to feel it. As it was, it felt like the accident had happened hours ago when I knew it had only been a couple minutes.

Now on top of the bus, my only choice was to just jump off. I took a deep breath and jumped, hitting the ground hard and dropping to my knees. Shakily I stood back up. The sun was setting and the sky was rapidly growing dark. In the distance I could see one of the other guys buses.

"Oh god, dont leave." I whimpered.

Almost as if they heard, the brake lights lit up and the bus started slowing down. They were just going to turn around, thank God. I had no idea who had been ahead of us and I didn't care. Nick's bus had been last cause when we had stopped at a fast food joint a few hours ago, we took the longest.

The noise of an oncoming car caught my attention and I whirled around. A white panel van had appeared out of nowhere. I waved my good arm frantically at them as they approached, my desperation starting to get overwhelming. The van came to a stop right next to me and my stomach clenched. There was suddenly something about this van that made me very uneasy. Probably just cause panel vans had a bad rep. Kidnappers used them because they were perfect for hiding in and keeping their victims from being seen. The door flew open and a man jumped out.

"Please help us! Our bus crashed and my friend is hurt. So is the driver. Please..." I froze. "Vinnie!"

"That's right, Lizz. Remember me?"

"Oh god... " I choked out, my knees getting weak.

The passenger window rolled down and another familiar face grinned at me.

"Terri?" I whispered, unable to believe what I was seeing.

Time to pay your dues, bitch. "Where's Carter?" She sneered.

"He must be the one that's on the bus, still hurt, right?" Vinnie snickered. I only stared at him in horror, not comprehending the events that were unfolding before my eyes. A heard another door open and moments later, Agnes appeared from around the other side of the van.

"Well, well. Lizz, don't look so shocked. You knew you would never be rid of us didn t you?" She laughed. I could only stand there and shift my gaze across their faces. I was totally helpless. I couldn t go anywhere, not with Nick still in the bus. Not like I would have gotten far anyway. The squealing brakes of bus tires got all of our attentions. Whoevers bus I had seen braking only a few minutes ago was now coming to a stop in front of us. The door flew open and AJ bounded down the steps.

"No, AJ! Go back!!!" I screamed.

"Oh no, I think you ll keep on coming this way." Vinnie called out.

AJ stopped in his tracks. "What the fuck is going on here?!" He demanded.

"AJ RUN! It was them!! Get help!!!" I cried.

Shut up! Agnes whipped around and raised her hand at me. I shrank back. "Keep it coming, AJ. You wouldn't want us to kill her, would you?" She coaxed him.

"Sonofabitch." He swore as he walked towards us. I whimpered in despair. Now they were gonna get him too.

"Perfect, time to get out of here." Agnes announced as she looked off in the distance. We followed her gaze to see the rest of the buses coming.

"Wait! Momma, we need to get Carter!" Terri whined.

"No! You aren t fucking going near him. You'll have to kill me first." I growled.

"As if you have a choice in the matter." Vinnie sneered.

"Where is he? Is he okay?" AJ's attention shot towards the bus, alarm in his voice.

"He's unconscious, he got hit in the head. H-he was b-bleeding." Tears filled my eyes.

"New plan. We re leaving. Now." Agnes announced.

"Momma!" Terri protested.

"Shut up, Terri!" Agnes barked. She turned to AJ. "Get in the van."

"Over my dead fu-"

Agnes whipped out a gun. "Don't make me say it again".

"No..." I moaned, planting my feet. "I'm not leaving Nick."

Vinnie reached over and grabbed my arm. I gasped as his fingers snaked around the gash. The pain made my vision go black for a split second and my knees turned into rubber.

Aw, whattsa matter? Lizz got an owie?" He mocked. He jerked me roughly, and I nearly fell. I felt a rough shove against my back and I tumbled onto the van floor. AJ managed to partially break my fall and pulled me closer to him. Vinnie hopped in and pulled the van door shut. Agnes was already starting the ignition.

"Momma, why did we leave him there? It was our chance!" Terri protested angrily.

"It was not our perfect chance." Agnes snapped in return. "Did you not see the other buses heading this way? It doesn t matter, this is even better."

"How?" Terri grumbled.

"We want Carter to suffer in the worst possible way right? Hurting him isn't going to make him suffer nearly as much as hurting his friends. Knowing that they are going through pain and there isn't anything he can do to stop it. This is the new plan..".

I looked up at AJ, fearfully. We were both huddled against the side wall of the van, not daring to move. Vinnie sat across from us, keeping the gun trained to our faces.

What did we want from the beginning? Our money from the National Enquirer. We're going to take it a step further now. A kidnapping case is bound to be newsworthy right? We take some pictures, send them in, get our money. Maybe after we get sick of that tattooed freak, we could arrange for a trade for that other one. We're keeping the bitch though. That way, Carter will do whatever we want. Finally, of course, in the end, we ll get Carter and kill him slowly. All of it will be publicized and we will get our just payments. Then, disappear into Mexico or something." Agnes explained, grinning at her cleverness.

I felt sick. "You can t..". I whispered.

"You fucking psychos! You will never get away with it!" AJ spat.

Agnes glanced at us in the rearview mirror. "Oh we will. If the media doesn t cooperate, you' ll die. If the Enquirer doesn't cooperate, you'll die. If your group doesn't cooperate, you'll die. Either way, Carter dies in the end. I guess the only part up to you guys is how many people will join him"

"I think he's coming to."

I heard myself moan as I struggled to wake up. The voice sounded so far off in the distance. My head was pounding, it felt worse than any of the migraines I had ever had.

"Nick! Come on buddy, wake up!"

Although I wanted to wake up, I felt the need to sleep was more important. I moaned a reply, hoping that the voice would just leave me alone and let me go to sleep, but much to my dissatisfaction, the voice was persistent.

And louder.

"Nick, you've been in an accident, you hit your head pretty hard, you can't be sleeping on me right now!"

My eyes sprung open when I finally realized why Brian's voice was so insistent on my waking up.

I had been in an accident? This didn't make any sense to me at all.

"Huh?"

Brian's eyes locked onto mine. "Nick, your bus crashed, you got hit in the head, do you remember?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, hoping it would help me to remember, my mind was a total blank. "No, I don't remember," I replied, surprised at how weak my voice was.

Suddenly, I realized that I wasn't laying in a hotel room or even on my bus for that matter. Things were slowly starting to connect.

"We were on our way to Boston. Your bus was last, something ran out and spooked the driver, I think it was an animal, we're not sure---"

"Where's Lizz?" I interrupted Kevin's slow, detailed description of the accident.

I could tell by the way Brian and Kevin exchanged glances that this wasn't a good thing.

"Where is she?" The panic must have shown through my voice.

"Nick, calm down," Brian said in a calm voice.

I started to sit up, ignoring the pounding in my head. I only made it halfway, Brian and Kevin's hands each pressing back on one of my shoulders.

"Lay back down, the doctor wants you to stay put," Brian stated.

I clenched my jaw. "Where the fuck is she?"

Kevin sighed. "We don't know."

"Wha--"

"Calm down!" Brian urged as he glanced warily towards Kevin.

They were avoiding my question and I was damned if I was going to stick around waiting for their answers. I tried to sit up again, and again I was met with their resistance.

"TELL ME NOW!"

"S-h-h-h-h, Nick calm down," Kevin and Brian tried to calm me down at the same time.

"The only way to tell you anything is if you calm down and let me tell you from the beginning, alright?" Brian said as his blue eyes focused on me. I nodded my head, ever-so-slightly, trying to keep the headache from intensifying. I listened to Brian as he recalled the events that led up to where we were now, my heart stuck in my throat, fearing the worst possible scenerios:

"Okay, your bus was roughly ten miles behind mine. AJ's was a little less than a mile ahead of your bus. Mike got a radio call from AJ's driver, saying that there was trouble with your bus and that help was needed and to turn around."

Brian paused for a moment before he continued.

"When we got there, we found your bus laying on it's side and AJ's bus stopped on the edge of the road. His driver was laying on the ground roughly twenty feet from the bus, dead."

I was feeling dizzy, but I willed my head to ignore it, I needed to find out answers. "How?"

"Mike went to check on the driver and I took off to your bus," Brian continued, ignoring my question. "I don't know how I managed it, maybe it was adrenaline or something, but I got into your bus---"

Brian going on and on about stupid things were more than I could handle. I interrupted him and asked him point blank, "Where the hell are Lizz and AJ? Are they okay?"

"I'm getting to that--"

"You're fucking there! Tell me now! Please!"

I don't know if the tears of desperation that flooded my eyes or the look on my face did it, but Brian finally stopped with the stupid narratives of the accident and his heroism on the scene.

"We.. we don't know," he replied as he kept eye contact with me.

"What do you mean? You mean you lost them? What? Are they here and you don't know how they are?"

"Nick.. Nicky settle down," Kevin soothed.

"No, I need to know what's going on, just tell me," I begged, wiping the tears that had already fallen away from my cheeks.

"We think Lizz and AJ were kidnapped," Kevin stated in a monotoned voice.

"Fuck.... Agnes," I whispered when I realized what had happened. I immediately started pulling the IV out of my left hand, tearing the bandage that was wrapped around my head off.

"Nick, what are you doing, stay still," Brian urged.

"I don't have time to sit in a fucking hospital! We have to find them!"

"You, buddy, have had a pretty hard hit to your head and you need to be here for twenty-four hours observation, like it or not," Kevin stated in an authoritative voice.

"Fuck that noise, I'm outta here," I stated as I shakily stood up and then fell back onto the bed as my feet disobeyed my intentions.

"Yeah, sure you are. You just need to sit tight and take it easy. You're no good to Lizz or AJ if we have to babysit your ass when we search for them. Besides, the FBI are working on it right now, so I'm hoping that they will be safe and sound by the time you get out of here tomorrow. Now, lay back down and I'm calling your nurse so you can get your IV put back in and your bandage fixed."

With that being said, Kevin stood up and calmly walked across the room toward the door. "Oh, and if you think you'll get a chance to check out before you're ready, rest assured you won't be getting a chance because Brian or I will be watching you."

*~*~*~*~*

"Momma, AJ wasn't in my plans, I wanted Carter and only Carter, now we have this excess baggage that we will have to tend to," Terri moaned as the van sped down the highway.

"Baby, sometimes things do work out as planned. If that skinny punk hadn't showed up, things would have been different. This will work out, you'll see," Agnes grinned as she reassured her daughter.

Vinnie sat across from his hostages, taking pleasure in looking at the two of them, huddled together on the floor of the panel van.

"Bet you wished you had ran out of your fricken ride with your sunglasses on, pretty boy," Vinnie taunted.

"You fucking---"

"Ah.. hey we have ladies present!" Vinnie interrupted AJ's comment. He stood up and backhanded AJ across his face. "I'll have to teach you some manners."

AJ spit out the blood that flowed when his teeth had connected with the inside of his cheek and cut it.

"Leave him the fuck alone!" Lizz hissed.

Vinnie rose his hand up ready to strike. "Looks like you need to learn some manners too, bitch!"

Before he could bring a hand down onto Lizz, AJ kicked Vinnie's feet out from under him. He landed on the floor of the van, momentarily stunned when the wind was knocked out of him, gun skidding across the floor towards the seats between Agnes and Terri.

"Vincent!" Agnes spat, "You concentrate on watching them and stop playing with them!"

"Well, we wouldn't have this problem if you had waited for me to tie their asses up," Vinnie defended.

"God, then tie them up, better yet, tie them up and gag them, I can't stand listening to her whiney voice anymore," Terri suggested.

"Good idea, we have to stop and get some supplies anyway, I have the place figured out where they are supposed to be staying in Boston, so we can play with them for awhile," Agnes agreed.

"Don't get any funny ideas yet little man," Vinnie smiled, revealing the gold cap on his front tooth. "We will be taking care of you very soon and have pictures to prove it, the blood in your mouth is only the beginning!"

The sound of the door opening woke me from my state of dozing. I hadn’t even realized that I’d started to fall asleep until I jerked up with a gasp. I squinted in the darkness, my heart already beating faster. My body ached from the rough treatment from Vinnie, but my bigger concern was directed towards who was coming into the room.

“Just sit tight, Littrell. You’ve seen the damage we can do, don’t fuck with us.”

“Oh no...” I whispered, praying I hadn’t heard Brady right. Praying it wasn’t Brian that was in Brady’s grip. But when a sliver of light fell on Brian’s face, my heart sank. Brady took notice of my dismay, smirked and gave Brian a hard shove. With his hands bound behind his back, Brian was unable to keep himself from tumbling roughly to the floor. Brady nodded in satisfaction and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Brian!” I cried, doing my best to crawl over to him.

“Lizz?” Brian panted, trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him. He’d managed to pull himself up so he was sitting on his knees. “Are you okay?” His voice rose in alarm when he got a look at my battered condition.

“Fine.” I said hastily, unconcerned with myself at the moment. “Wh- Where’s AJ? Is he-”

“He’s alive, Lizz. He was beaten pretty badly.” Brian said softly, shaking his head.

I tried to swallow around the lump that had formed in my throat. “God Brian, I tried to stop him. AJ and I were trying to find away out of here and we got caught. Brady attacked AJ and Vinnie dragged me into this room. I saw the phone in here,” I stopped to show Brian, but it was nowhere to be seen. “Well, it was in here. Anyway, I called Nick, but almost immediately Vinnie came back in here. He ripped the phone from my hand and started knocking me around. Then he called Nick back and told him to come get me and AJ. He said AJ needed medical attention.” I stopped again when I saw the expression on Brian’s face.

“He called him back. Dammit.” Brian looked pained. I raised an eyebrow.

“Vinnie called Nick before that?”

“No, well yes. He called Nick, but I was in sitting with him. Since Nick was finally asleep, I answered his phone and Vinnie thought I was Nick and directed me to come to this address.” He explained, shifting uncomfortably against the handcuffs.

I shook my head slowly. “’Sitting with him?’”

“Nick’s in the hospital, Lizz. Or, well, he was before he disappeared.” Brian said softly.

I put my hand to my mouth. “Oh god.”

“No no! He’s okay, he was just banged up from the accident and I think waking up to find you and AJ gone didn’t help.” Brian said quickly.

“But you said he was gone. Shit Brian! He’s going to come here! They’ll kill him!” I cried.

“Kevin’s here too, hopefully he’ll find Nick before anyone else does and get him out of here.” Brian assured me. I might have actually felt better if he’d sounded convinced himself. Instead I just wrapped my arms around Brian, trying to fight the tears that were behind my eyes.

~*~*~*~*~

AJ couldn’t hold back the small whimper that escaped his throat when he was thrown into someone’s arms. He was completely and totally disoriented. Nick was supposed to be the one that was there, but instead he had heard Brian’s voice. Brian was telling someone not to worry, that he would take care of Nick and himself! He almost didn’t care who had him since he didn’t think it was possible to be in much more pain than he was already in.

“Beat it, before I decide I’m not done with that little freak.” Brady sneered.

Kevin sucked in a breath and instinctively drew AJ closer to him, determined to keep his younger brother from any more harm. The mere idea of leaving Brian and Lizz at this foul place made him sick to his stomach. But he had to get AJ out of there and find Nick. “I’m going.” Kevin ground out, teeth clenched.

At the sound of Kevin’s voice, AJ let himself relax somewhat. Kevin would figure something out and get everyone safe. AJ refused to let himself believe otherwise. Since he couldn’t see anything, he focused instead on the sounds in the room. Kevin’s rapidly beating heart was pounding so loud in his ear that it was impossible to miss that. The door squeaked open and Kevin carried AJ through. AJ jumped when the door was slammed behind them.

“You with me bud?” Kevin asked softly.

“L--” AJ paused and cleared his throat weakly. “Lizz’s next door, Brian now too...”

Kevin’s gaze immediately fell on the closed door that they were behind. Again, Kevin had to fight back tears. They were so close, yet there was nothing he could do. He was so damned helpless. “AJ, I’m getting you out of here, finding Nick and we are gonna be back for them.” He swore, his voice low.

“Brady told me-” AJ was forced to stop when his beaten body was wracked with coughs.

“Shh-hh AJ, take it easy.” Kevin coaxed.

“No, Kev! They’re going to torture Lizz, then Nick. Then kill him.”

Kevin stared down at AJ. “Sonofabitch! That big guy told you this?”

AJ nodded. Kevin looked hurriedly up and down the hall, trying to figure out what to do. Thankfully the hallway was vacant, but that luck was about to run out. Vinnie’s two way crackled from the other side of the door. Her words were too muffled to understand, but Vinnie’s were clear as a bell. “You heard the woman, Brady. Go get Richardson and your little punching bag.” Vinnie laughed at his cleverness in AJ’s nickname.

Kevin’s eyes widened. “Oh shit.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Shit.” Nick muttered. He looked to his right, figuring there was a side door he could slip out of, unnoticed. Lizz and AJ depended on him getting to them and he couldn’t let them down.

“Nick! Oh my god!”

“Hey look! It’s Nick!”

“Nick Carter?”

“Oh shit. Shit!“

The next thing he knew, people were all around him and he felt his chest tighten. They were all trying to get his attention and they all wanted something from him. He needed to get to this address and get to Lizz and AJ before it was too late.

“I need to get through! It’s an emergency.” He said urgently.

“Mr. Carter, could you answer a few questions for us? There are a lot of questions regarding your bus accident...”

“Please, I don’t have time...” Nick shook his head, pushing through everyone.

“Nick? There are rumors that AJ is missing. It’s also being said that Lizz was on that bus with you and that is missing as well! Can you-”

“No!” Nick cried, desperately. If that information got out, there was no telling what could happen if Agnes and Vinnie found out. He was beginning to feel panicked and was about to totally break down until a cab pulled up in front of him. The passenger window rolled down and the cabbie leaned over.

“Get in!” He yelled.

Without thinking twice, Nick jerked the door open and threw himself into the backseat. The cabbie slammed his foot down on the gas and the car peeled away from the curb before Nick even had the door shut.

“I can’t thank you enough.” Nick leaned against the back seat, trying to catch his breath and settle his pounding heart.

“You’re in some trouble, aren’t ya son?” The cabbie peered at his young passenger through his rearview mirror.

“My friends are. I need you to take me to...” Nick paused as he shoved his hand into his pockets. “Oh shit! The address is on my menu. I ran out of there so quick, I didn’t even think to grab it! I don’t know how to get there!” Nick moaned in despair, convinced he’d just sentenced his friends to death.

“I know where it is, son. You just sit tight and ol’ Carl will get you there.” The cabbie smiled thinly.

“Bu- H-how do you know...?” Nick stammered.

“I picked up your two friends, your other bandmates. Already took them there.” Carl replied.

“What?! Oh shit, Brian and Kevin?? Mister, please hurry! They’re gonna get killed!” Nick exclaimed, panic setting back in.

Carl didn’t say anything, but only pushed down harder on the accelerator.

“This is it, Lizz. Say your good-byes!”

I stared at Vinnie, unable to move. It felt as if every muscle in my body was frozen. He was standing in the doorway, grinning like it was his birthday. Nick was in front of him, on his knees, gun to his head. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. So I stood there, like a deer in front of headlights, my eyes locked onto Nick’s.

“We don’t have all daa-ayyy, Lizz.” Terri sung out, a sick smile twisting her face.

I broke my gaze from Nick, trying to figure out what was going on. What had happened? Where was Brian? Almost as if reading my mind, Brady stepped forward, rubbing his hands together. I squinted, my mind not comprehending why there was red stuff on his hands. Surely it wasn’t blood.

“Lizz?” Nick’s voice shook me out of my stupor.

I wanted to go to him. Everything was in slow motion and I could tell something was going to happen. Something bad and there was nothing I could do to stop it. But my feet were still rooted to the floor. Almost like someone had glued them down.

Agnes stepped around the other side of Vinnie, gun in her hand. She pointed it at Nick. Yet, I still stood there, unable to move. I couldn’t stop this, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. But if anything, if all of this was for nothing else, I had to tell Nick how I felt about him. I had to tell Nick that I loved him. At least he would know. I had to tell him before it was too late.

Agnes cocked the trigger. I opened my mouth. The words were on my lips and my heart was breaking. But before I could utter a single sound, the fatal shot rang out.

*~*~*~*~*

“AJ, we’ve got to move quick, before they find us!” Kevin whispered, a tone of urgency in his voice.

All AJ could do was give a slight nod, not knowing if Kevin was looking at him or not. He felt his hand slip around his arm, and then Kevin’s arm grabbing his waist to steady him as he guided him to a sturdier standing position.

Rushing AJ as fast as he dared, Kevin tried door after door only to discover that it was locked. As he was just about to give up and resign them both to certain doom, the last door he tried miraculously opened.

“This looks like an old office space, we’ll be safe in here for the time being,” Kevin stated as he looked around the dimly lighted room.

AJ’s only response was several dry coughs followed by a soft, quiet moan.

“Are you okay?”

AJ sighed quietly. “Yeah, ready to party.”

As he leaned against the wall, Kevin looked around the room, surveying the situation he and AJ were in. He narrowed his eyes as he looked across the room. “Hey, I see some doors over there,” he announced as he straightened himself up. “Stay right here, I’m gonna go see where they lead to.”

“Yeah, like I have a choice,” AJ sputtered.

AJ discovered that since his eyesight was gone, his hearing seemed to have become more sharper and he trained his concentration on listening to Kevin’s hard, even footsteps across the wooden floor. Kevin grunted as he pulled on a door. AJ could tell that he moved further away as he tried another door.

“Hey this one looks like it might lead us out of this building, it’s got stairs,” Kevin stated excitedly. “I’ll go and check it before I lead you down here. God, there’s dust and cobwebs everywhere!”

AJ shook his head hearing Kevin’s disgust about the dirty stairwell. He was such a neatnik, always cleaning up after the rest of the guys when they were on tour. “I’m sure it won’t kill you, just watch out for rats.”

“Ha, ha, very funny AJ,” Kevin mocked. “Hey, I see a passage over there----”

A floorboard groaned followed by the sound of wood breaking and Kevin crying out.

Then silence.

Using the wall as a leverage to get his bearings, AJ slowly felt his way along the wall, getting back up again to a standing position. “Kevin? Are you okay? Kev? Shit.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Where are they!” Agnes squawked at Vinnie when he appeared in the room, alone.

“I couldn’t find their asses, they’re probably long gone by now,” Vinnie panted, winded from running up and down the hall in search of Kevin and AJ.

“Dammit Vincent, I left you in charge of something so simple and you messed that up too! This is no good, I can’t tolerate this!” Agnes bellowed as she paced the trash strewn wooden floor.

“Hey don’t be yelling at me about this! You told me to keep Littrell with that girl----”

“YOU PUT THEM TOGETHER?!”

“YOU TOLD ME TO YOU OLD BITCH!”

“Good god, gimme the gun, I’ll have to take care of things by my...where’s Brady at?” Agnes sneered as she grabbed the gun from Vincent’s hand.

“Use your freakin two way, dumb bitch,” Vinnie cackeled as he slumped onto the overstuffed, dusty brown couch in the corner.

Agnes glared as she picked up her radio off the table next to the couch. “Brady?”

Silence was soon replaced with static and then Brady’s voice.

“Yes ma’am?”

A broad smile played upon Agnes lips. “See that boy knows how to respect me.” Vinnie flipped the old woman off when she turned her back. Terri unsuccessfully chocked back a giggle. Agnes whirled around to see what Terri was snickering about but her attention was suddenly drawn back to Brady on the two-way.

“Ma’am? You needed me?”

“Yes Brady, I do,” Agnes replied sweetly. “I want you to go and get either the boy or that girl from out of that room and bring one of them to me, they can’t be kept together, they’ll try to escape.”

“Which one do you want?”

Agnes waived her hand in the air as she replied, “It doesn’t matter, which ever one y’all feel you can handle.”

“Be down in a few minutes ma’am,” Brady answered.

“See, that’s all it took, some real man to handle the situation correctly,” Agnes stated as she placed the two-way back onto the table.

“What you gonna do, Momma?”

“Not sure yet, it will depend on who he brings to me,” Agnes smiled.

“Here you go,” Carl said as he stopped the cab.

I peered out the window and swallowed nervously. “T-this is where you left them at?”

“Creepy looking place isn’t it?”

Leaning back on the seat, I pulled my billfold out of my back pocket and pulled out the last of my money - a wad of ones and a twenty dollar bill. “Will this be enough?”

Carl accepted the money from me and fingered the bills. “Yeah, plenty. You need me to stick around?”

The thought sounded inviting to me since this place looked spooky and I was beginning to wonder what I would find when I got in there but I shook my head and declined the offer. “I got my cell, I can call for a cab when I need a ride out of here.”

“Suit yourself then kid, good luck to you and your friends, hope you find them, that building is pretty big.”

“I will, thanks.”

Hesitating only for a moment, I finally pulled myself from the cab and watched as the driver sped off. Adding a dramatic effect to the whole situation, the wind picked up and stirred the sand in the road, blowing it in my face. “Just peachy,” I mumbled as I looked at the hotel.

I approched the obvious - the front door and gingerly pulled on the handle. The steel door groaned in a loud protest as it opened and slammed shut behind me when the wind pushed against it. I jumped and my heart started racing. When the door shut I was cast into total darkness for a moment until my eyes adjusted to the lack of sunlight.

The lobby of the building was strewn with litter, beer and soda cans. I felt a chill go up my back as I looked around. Five freakin stories and they could be anywhere. A rat screeched as it scrambled across the floor twenty feet from where I stood.

Eyeing the stairs, I determined that they had to be safe, there wasn't any other way for anyone to get up to each level of the building. I decided to start from the top and work my way door, floor by floor until I found them. I took a deep breath and slowly and cautiously started my climb.

~*~*~*~*~

"Lizz? Wake up honey," Brian soothed as he gently nudged her with his shoulder.

"Ohmygod!" she gasped as she woke, her breathing was labored and her hair was soaked in sweat.

"You had a bad dream, it's okay now."

Lizz shook her head. "Oh god it was awful."

"It was just a dream," Brian assured as he shifted his body trying to find a more comfortable position against the wall.

"But it seemed so real. Agnes said she was going to kill him...."

"Kill him? Nick? Was that what the dream was about?"

Lizz nodded, unable to go into the details of the nightmare that she was afraid that would come true.

"Well, it's just a dream, it's going to be okay," Brian tried to convince Lizz as much as he was trying to convince himself at the moment.

Lizz hoped it was true but the dream still hung in her thoughts, not going away. She decided she had to talk about it, it was breaking her heart keeping the thoughts inside. "They had him on his knees and a gun pointed to his head...and I never got to tell him goodbye, I never got to tell him that I love him," Lizz whispered.

Brian turned his head slowly to look at Lizz. He thought he heard the last phrase, but she whispered it so quietly, he wasn't certain. "You'll see him again soon. It's going to be okay. You can tell him then."

"I hope so," Lizz squeaked before the tears started to flow again.

"Awe sweetheart--"

Brian's words were cut short when the door to the room was flung open and Brady appeared.

"I'm supposed to take one of you to Agnes. Which one should I take?" Brady snickered.

The handcuffs clanked as Brian inched his way up the wall to a standing postion. "Take me, leave her alone!"

Brady laughed at Brian's determination. "A Backstreet Boy with some guts. I like this, you would have never suspected that from you!"

"No, don't take him, take me, it's my fault, don't hurt him!" Lizz protested.

"I'll be back to get you soon doll, just one at a time, that's all Brady wants to take right now, come on boy," Brady urged as he approached Brian and took his arm.

The look on Brian's face scared Lizz. She could see the fear and the apprehension of the unknown in his eyes.

"It'll be okay Lizz, just sit tight," Brian called out as he was led out of the room.

Brady laughed at the statement and then kicked the door shut and the next thing Lizz heard was the sound of a key being placed into a lock.

*~*~*~*~*

The search on the top floor was a waste of time, I decided as it turned up nothing but empty hotel rooms. One floor down four more to go. There was something about the fourth floor that was different though. It 'felt' as if it were being used. Hearing a door closing, my heart skipped a beat.

I ducked into a room, leaving the door cracked open as I waited to see what would be walking down the hall. I listened and tried to breathe quietly so I could catch any sounds or voices that would hopefully lead me to my friends.

There were distinctive sounds of chains from handcuffs and heavy footsteps and the sounds of some lighter footsteps of someone that was being taken someplace against their will. Funny how when you can't see something your hearing seems to become more sensitive to sound.

My breath caught when the owners of the footsteps came into view. A huge black man was pushing Brian down the hall, his hands were handcuffed in front, his face looked weary. I decided I would slip out of the room behind them when they past my door. Just a few more feet and I would take my position....

The plans were abruptly ended when the ringer on my cellphone loudly announced I had an incoming phone call.

Shit.

I made a desperate lunge at the door just as Brady locked it behind him. How in the hell could he lock it from the outside of the room? Someone at some point had to have specifically changed the lock so it locked on the outside instead of the inside. Did that mean that other people had been held captive in here? The thought made me shudder.

“Brian!” I cried, beating my fist against the door, tears of frustration and despair slipping down my cheeks. “Dammit Lizz, hold it together.” I swore to myself. I took a deep breath and made myself take a step back and think rationally. I had to find out where Brady was taking Brian. I pressed my ear up against the door and listened. The footsteps sounded off to the right. Okay, at least I know what direction I am going. I looked around the room, but there was nothing in here that was going to help me break the door down. As if I had the strength to do that anyway. How else was I going to get out of here? I had a sickening feeling that if I didn’t get to Brian soon, he would end up in AJ’s condition, or worse.

Frantically I scanned the room again, my eyes falling on the window. I rushed over to it as and looked outside. The sun was rising so I could see pretty well. There was a ledge that ran several feet below the window. It was about as wide as a curb, but it ran around the whole side of the building. When I realized what I was going to have to do, my heart started pounding. I wasn’t afraid of heights, but I did have terrible balance. Nick and I had had many arguments on who was more of a klutz. Just the thought of him heightened my desperation to get moving. Time was running out for Brian and Nick was on his way here.

I grabbed the thin sheet that had been laying in a crumpled heap on the floor and balled as much of it as I could around my hand. Then I balled up my fist, reached back and shot it through the window. It shattered and I felt the sting of glass shards go into my knuckles. The worry that someone could have heard me was more prevalent on my mind so I focused my attention on climbing out of the window. The ledge felt a lot skinnier with me standing on it than when I had looked at it. I shut my eyes, panic welling up in my chest. Think of Nick. Think of Brian. Take it slow. Inch by inch I eased my body along the ledge. The first window was only a few feet away. When I got to in and looked inside, it was empty. I was almost relieved because I wasn’t sure what I was going to find, but then again, I wasn’t going to last much longer on this ledge.

~*~*~*~*~

“What the hell?” Brady’s attention was directed towards the ringing of a cell phone. It was coming from a room that had been unoccupied for the last few days. Brady knew this because the guy that had been staying there had been killed in a street fight. He shot a warning look to Brian before walking over to the door. It was cracked open so he pushed it the rest of the way. Brady took a step into the room and didn’t see the fist in time. It connected with the side of his face with a crunch. Brady reeled back, stunned by the blow.

Brian stared in shock as Brady nearly plowed into him. Nick suddenly came into view. “Brian, run!” He yelled, ready to lunge at Brady again. He was ready to do whatever it took to keep Brady away from Brian. Unfortunately, Brady had the same idea and got to Brian first.

“Don’t move. I’ll snap his fuckin neck.” Brady snarled, angered that that little punk had managed to knock one of his teeth out. He had one massive arm wrapped around Brian’s neck, tight enough to make Brian gag for air. His other hand had a firm grip on Brian’s hair, showing Nick what little effort it would take to make good on his threat.

“Don’t!” Nick begged. “Let him go! I’ll surrender myself, whatever you want. Let him go, please!”

Brady turned his head to the side and spit out the bloody tooth. “You are going to pay for that, boy. Start walking.” He gestured down the hall with his chin.

Not wanting to provoke Brady into causing anymore harm to Brian, Nick obeyed. Brady followed behind, dragging Brian with him. “Third door on the right. Open it.”

“No! Nick don’t! They’re going to kill you!” Brian cried.

“I’m going to kill you if you don’t shut up.” Brady hissed, his patience growing thin.

Nick swallowed hard. He knew that what was on the other side of that door could very likely mean his death. On the other hand, what was to guarantee that they weren’t going to kill Brian as well. And where was Lizz? Where was AJ? He turned around slowly.

“You have me.” He said softly. “Please let Brian go. I’ll do whatever you say, just please let my friends go.”

Brady stared at Nick thoughtfully. “You’d do anything to save your friends wouldn’t you?”

Nick was filled with a glimmer of hope. “Yes, I would. D-does this mean you’ll let them go?”

Brady continued to stare at Nick a moment longer before busting out in cruel laughter. “No, it just means that this will be so much more entertaining!”

“You bastard!” Nick yelled, starting to move towards Brady.

“Ah ah, I wouldn’t.” Brady warned, clamping a fierce hand around the back of Brian’s neck. “Now go in the fucking room.”

~*~*~*~*~

After the fifth window I was feeling beyond desperate and I felt like every part of my body was shaking with exertion and nerves. Then I heard the faint sound of a door being slammed. A lot of loud voices followed and I knew my the next window belonged to the room Brian was in. As quickly as I dared, I inched over to the window and peered in. The horror of the scene in front of me almost caused me to lose my balance. It wasn’t just Brian in there with our kidnappers, but Nick too! He was here?! The window was filthy so it was hard to tell what was going on. They were all in there, I could tell that much. Terri sat stiffly in her wheelchair, pointing an accusatory finger at Nick. Vinnie was standing a little too close for comfort to the window I was hanging outside of. Agnes was standing in front of Nick, hands on hips, yelling at him. Brady had a firm grip on Brian and appeared to be enjoying every minute of it. I could see Nick’s face and he looked absolutely horrified. I couldn’t see Brian’s face, but it looked like Nick’s horror was directed at him. I squinted harder, trying to figure out what was going on. That’s when I saw it.

Brady was holding a gun to Brian. He was going to use it.

With an animalistic cry, I threw my fist into the window. Six shocked heads jerked in my direction. I didn’t even have time to notice as the ledge beneath me crumbled under my feet and I started to fall.

Anything that could go wrong had and was at this very moment I decided as I glanced around the room. Here was my best friend standing in front of me, fear etched on his face. The huge black man named Brady, stood next to Brian - a little too close for my satisfaction - grinning from ear to ear despite the missing tooth, compliments of me actually making contact with the man's face. And then there was the collection of family freaks, Agnes and Terri.

Terri.

I narrowed my eyes as I stared at her face. This woman brought more pain and suffering than what anyone could ever imagine. Granted she was in a wheel chair and the events that put her there would have humbled the meanest soul, but there she was, still yelling and blaming me for everything that had happened to her and her family.

Agnes was just a bitter old woman and looked for blame to place for the way her family had turned out. I was her perfect scapegoat and she kept insisting that I was to suffer for all the wrongdoings I had made happened to her Terri and her Marcus.

"You'll get what you deserve, Nick Carter, I will make you regret the day you were born. You will watch your friends slowly suffer. I had to watch my Terri being punished and suffer because of you!"

"Please, let them go," my voice croaked. "I-I'll do anything you ask me to, just let my friends go."

"We'll let them go Carter, after we're done with them, we'll let them go," Vinnie sneered and then laughed.

"Brady, take Brian and work him over like you did with that skinny tatooed runt!" Agnes commanded as she waved her boney finger towards Brian.

"This will be fun," Brady smirked.

"No! Please!" I begged. I knew I had to think of something fast, some type of diversion or something to stall for time. "Just keep on doing what you want to him but only do it to me, it's me you're angry at, not Brian!"

"No my dear friend, the whole point of this is to put you through hell and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!" Vinnie cackled.

"Nick, no! Just let them get this overwith," Brian pleaded.

All eyes were focused on Brian as he bravely was waiting for the punishment to begin. Suddenly, before I could argue, the sounds of breaking glass penetraited the air. Everyone jerked their heads towards the direction of the dirty window.

"LIZZ!" Brian and I yelled at the same time.

Vinnie jumped and quickly reached out through the broken window and grabbed Lizz's arm preventing her from falling off the crumbling ledge. She was screaming from fear and from the pain of Vincent's firm grip.

I didn't hesitate and ignored Agnes and Brady's commands that I didn't move from my spot as I rushed towards the window to help Vinnie pull Lizz into the room.

"Back off Carter," Vinnie grunted through clenched teeth.

I pushed him off to one side as I grabbed onto the arm that he was hanging onto. "You'll drop her!"

Vinnie started to push me with his body. "NO I WON'T! BACK OFF FREAK!"

My eyes locked onto Lizz's. She knew how to read my mind and through tear streamed eyes, she managed to read what I was thinking and slightly nodded her acknowledgement.

Tightening my grip on her arm, I threw all my weight against Vinnie, pressing him against the wall, causing him to release his hand on her arm. I quickly reached out with my other hand. "Grab it!"

"I... I can't," Lizz cried pitifully.

"Yes you can," I encouraged. I gasped when I saw the amount of blood that was pouring out of the gash on her forearm. I pushed the thought of passing out away. "Come on, take my hand!"

"Let her go so she can just die!" Terri wailed.

"Lizz! Don't let them win, come on, take my hand dammit!"

After a few feeble attempts, Lizz connected and my hand met hers. Putting a foot against the wall under the window for leverage, I pulled Lizz up and through the window, both of us falling onto the floor in a heap.

"Isn't that just fucking sweet," Terri mocked. "You should have let her fall because what we have planned for her now would make falling to her death more pleasant than being slowly tortured until she begs to die!"

"Don't you touch her, just take me, let them go!" I begged as I looked at Agnes and Vinnie.

Vinnie was slowly pulling himself up from the corner, anger was evident in his face. "I'm gonna have so much fun doing her."

I narrowed my eyes at Vinnie.

"There's nothing you can do Carter, so don't you even think about it, we have this all planned out."

I noticed out the corner of my eye how the blood from Lizz's gash was pooling onto the wood floor. I tore off my shirt and quickly fashioned it into a tourniquet to slow the bleeding down. As I helped Lizz up to her feet, I could feel her shaking, her legs wobbly.

"Just let my friends go and you can do anything you want with me, just let them go," I begged.

Agnes clicked the trigger on her gun and gestured for Lizz and me to move towards her. I kept trying to think of some quick move to save us from this mess, but my mind was a jumbled mess of worry and I couldn't think clearly.

"Hands behind your backs," Agnes commanded in a stern voice.

"Lizz is hurt she can't---"

"Put your hands behind your back, Carter," Brady snarled.

Vinnie grabbed his gun and held it against Brian's head. "Do like we say and I won't have to blow his head open!"

I quickly followed the orders and winced when I heard Lizz quietly yelp when her arms were drawn back.

"Couldn't you at least put the cuffs in front of her since she's cut and bleeding?" My eyes met with Vinnie's and I glanced at Brian's ashen face. Vinnie didn't look like he was going to budge, almost as if he was getting off on the hurt he was causing us. "Please for god sakes, show a little compassion, you are human aren't you?"

Vinnie roughly grabbed Brian's hair and jerked his head backwards. "Yeah, I guess or you'll just keep on whining, won't you asshole?" After he let Brian's head go, he nodded towards Brady to undo Lizz and put her hands in front. The blood was already seeping through the tourniquet, not much but enough to let me know that the bleeding hadn't stopped.

We were led towards a windowless wall, far away from where Lizz was dragged in. Brady pushed down on both of our shoulders until we sat down on the floor. Vinnie took his place alongside us. Brian stood in the center of the room and Brady started walking around him, like a lion ready to pounce on it's prey.

"Do Littrell like you did that skinny runt," Vinnie snickered.

Brady grinned and rubbed his hands together. Brian stood still, staring at his agressor, waiting for the punishment that they deemed was necessary.

Before I could beg for more mercy again, Brady delivered the first punch, his fist flying directly into Brian's stomach, emptying all the air from his lungs, causing him to crumble to ground in a coughing fit. I leaned forward to get up but was quickly put back into place by a swift kick from Vinnie into my shoulder.

Brady reached down and pulled Brian back up to his feet by his shirt and punched him in the stomach in four rapid blows.

"STOP!"

Brady let go of him when I yelled and Brian fell down to his knees again. Instead of quitting, the huge black man started kicking Brian any place his feet would land - stomach, legs, chest, back. Brian only cried out once or twice but it was an eerie cry, like he was trying to keep his suffering to himself, almost as if to protect us from worry.

Brady picked Brian up by the shirt again and grinned when he could see that his victim was barely conscious on his feet. He curled his fist up again, ready to deliver more blows when Agnes stopped him.

"That's enough, you can't kill him just yet!"

The smile faded from Brady's face and he let go of Brian's shirt and watched as he fell down to his hands and knees. Brian started coughing so hard that he got sick. I wanted to go to him so badly, but Vinnie pointed his gun towards Lizz so I knew it was better that I stayed in my place. My heart was aching for Brian, I prayed he wasn't hurt as badly as he looked.

"Now the fun begins with pretty girly here," Vinnie mocked as he rubbed the gun across Lizz's cheek.

"God, please just let them go, please!" I begged as the fear of what was about to happen screamed out in my mind.

"Nah, I'm gonna do this for Marcus, he wanted her and he was denied her pleasure, so me and Brady are gonna do this for Marcus," Vinnie grinned. "The best part is y'all get to watch."

"Count me out you sick perv," Terri huffed as she wheeled her chair around and directed it towards the door. "I'll be in the kitchen, let me know when you're done. Momma are you going to watch?"

Agnes sighed in disgust. "Good lord no, I'm going with you. Remember what we discussed boys, and if you're really smart, you should rough Carter up a little bit before you start so his reflexes won't be quick in case he decides to help his little girl out."

“Fine idea you got there, ma’am.” Brady grinned as Agnes pushed Terri’s wheelchair out the door.

Vinnie rolled his eyes. “You are such a fuckin suck-up, ya know that?”

Brady turned around slowly and glared at Vinnie. “Listen, you-”

“Now boys, let’s not forget the task at hand here.” Agnes reminded them, her voice stern.

Vinnie rubbed his hands together. “Don’t worry Ag, I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”

Terri made a face and turned her head away, growing more and more angrier by the second. How could her brother have wanted anything to do with that little bitch? It was like a slap in the face, a betrayal. And now Vinnie was using vengeance as an excuse to have her. She had half a mind to grab her mother’s gun and shoot the bitch.

“Just let us know when you are done, huh Vincent?” Agnes pointed her bony finger at him. “And don’t forget what I said about Carter.”

Brady shut the door behind the two women and turned around to smile maliciously at us. Vinnie was still standing in front of me, gun pointed to my face. All through their little exchange, my attention shifted from them, to Nick and finally to Brian. Watching Brady beat him was one of the most horrific things I had ever witnessed. I was overwhelmed by that same helpless feeling I had when I had to watch Kurt and Marcus whip Nick.

Brian didn’t even have the strength to keep himself on his hands and knees and had sort of slumped down so he was curled up, as if that would ease the pain he must be going through. He still wasn’t completely recovered from the last abuse afflicted on him those months ago. How much could his body take?

“Alright Carter, you heard the boss. We can’t have you trying to pull any heroisms here.” Brady’s threat broke me out of my thoughts.

“Just make sure you don’t make his dumb ass go unconscious or anything. I want him to be able to watch everything I am going to do to his little bitch.” Vinnie reminded, taking a step closer to me.

I recoiled away. This wasn’t happening, it had to be another nightmare.

“Please don’t touch her! You’ve already hurt Brian and AJ. You have me. Please don’t do this to her!” Nick begged.

Vinnie tilted his head back and laughed uproariously. “Keep talking Carter, that is exactly the kind of shit I want to hear. Makes this even better!”

I was still sitting by Nick and I had a death grip on his arm. Brady walked over and stood directly in front of Nick. With perfect control and ease, he leveled his gun at Nick’s forehead. Nick stiffened and I gasped in horror.

“Come on, bitch. I know you want this as bad as I do. Hell, as bad as Marcus did. You know, he wanted your ass bad.” Vinnie grabbed me by the shoulder of my shirt and started to pull me away from Nick. “I don’t know though, I’ve seen you look better. I may be a kinky bastard, but I don’t go for all this blood. I guess it’s my own damn fault for knockin the shit out of ya earlier huh? Alright, let‘s go, sweetness.”

The harder he tugged at me, the harder I gripped Nick. The pulling was making my forearm throb, but the only thought going through my mind was to stay with Nick. They couldn’t separate us.

“Let go of her.” Brady snarled, cocking the trigger of the gun against Nick’s forehead.

My eyes locked with Nick’s as his grip tightened. Part of me wanted to scream to let me go, but the other part of me was too scared. Our joined hands were my lifeline and I was afraid I was going to lose all my strength if they broke us apart.

“Okay, we’ll do this the hard way!” Brady shouted, lifted Nick to his feet by his shirt. He pulled his fist back and drove into Nick’s mid-section with all his might.

I screamed and fought against Vinnie’s grip, but in my weakened state, his strength was no match for me. Brady kept hitting Nick, much like he had done Brian.

“You bastards! Stop!” I screamed, awkwardly thrashing and swinging my fists at Vinnie. The handcuffs were cutting into my skin and I knew I was bleeding, but I didn’t care. He refused to let go, but one of my swings connected to the side of his neck. He gasped and released his grip on me for a split second. I used the opportunity to get to Nick, but Vinnie recovered before I had a chance to get too far. He grabbed me fiercely and shoved me up against the wall, knocking the wind out of my lungs. Then he swung his hand back and slapped me hard across the cheek. My head cracked into the wall behind me and darkness edged around my vision.

“Enough!” He barked at Brady. Brady let one more punch fall before releasing his grip on Nick. Nick, slumped down to the floor, gasping and bleeding. Brian had somewhat come to his senses, but was too injured to pick himself up. “Time for the show to begin.”

My eyes met with Nick’s, only this time, one was nearly swollen shut. His lip was bleeding and bruises were already starting to form. Brady hadn’t worked him over as bad as he had Brian, but it was bad enough.

“Don’t look at him, bitch!” Vinnie snarled, shaking me like a rag doll. “Right now, I am all that there is. Not that I need to tell you that, you’ll know in a few minutes.” He grinned, pushing me harder into the wall. With one fluid motion, he grabbed the shoulder of my shirt and tore it off.

“Stop! Please, god. Don’t do this!” Nick cried.

Vinnie grinned, pressing himself up against me. “I’m really going to enjoy this, baby.”

I shut my eyes, trying to block everything out. Pretend I wasn’t here and this wasn’t happening to me. But when I closed my eyes, it was worse. I felt every inch of his body up against mine. I felt his hot breath against my neck. The lack of blood was making me lightheaded and I didn’t even have the strength to fight him.

I felt his hand work its way around the back of my bra and I struggled against him. His hands were all over me, doing things they shouldn’t, hurting me.

“Please, please...” I was crying uncontrollably. I barely heard Nick and Brian begging for them to stop. “Please, just kill me.” I sobbed, overcome by the humiliation, the pain, the hopelessness. I was filled with disgust and hate towards myself. Disgust that I couldn’t be brave like Brian. They beat him within an inch of his life and the whole time, he barely made a sound.

Vinnie moaned in pleasure. “Ready for more, sweet thing?” I felt one of his hands start messing with the zipper of my jeans.

“No...” I whimpered. “Nick!” I cried, hating myself even more. It was getting harder and harder to even keep my eyes open. The room was starting to move around me. Suddenly, the pressure of his body lifted from mine and my eyes snapped open. Without the support of his grip, my knees buckled and I fell.

A loud bang filled my ears and I jerked my head up. My vision blurred as I watched Vinnie crumple to the ground right in front of me. Kevin stood in the doorway, gun pointed. Brady lunged at Kevin they both fell to the ground, fighting for possession of the glock. More people rushed into the room, but I was completely disoriented and my eyes started to fall shut again. I knew I was losing my grip. When I opened my eyes again, Nick was making his way over to me. He pulled me carefully into his arms, a shattered expression on his face. If I had been more with it, I probably would have fought him. But I could tell I was running out of time and I had to make sure he knew something.

“Nick,” I gasped, surprised at how hard it was to even talk.

“No, Lizz, don’t do this.” Nick pleaded, his voice breaking.

“I...need you...to know...” I broke off, my body suddenly wracked with a coughing fit.

“Lizz...” He whispered, his eyes welling with tears.

I reached a hand up and wiped one of them away.

“I love you.”

THE END