"Where are we going again?"

"I told you, Nick. We're going this way."

"And what exactly is this way? If you're thinking of getting another tat, J, you really need to rethink your… Your, um…"

"Decision?"

"Yes! Your decision! After all, you're running out of places for body art, right?"

"It's obvious you haven't seen me naked lately."

"Shit, I was about to suggest we swing into Burger King, but now I don't think I can eat anything ever again."

"You don't have to look so disgusted, dude. Besides, we're not going to the tattoo parlor. We're going somewhere else."

"Are we on some sort of secret mission? Like in James Bond?"

"Yeah… Sure…"

"Why are we walking, though? Bond always has the best car to drive, and we're hoofing it across the pavement like two losers. Wait-Why are we walking this way?"

"Because our mission, dumbass, is this way."

"But—"

"I swear if you start whining, I'm going to smack you. And I don't care who's watching."

"Right, like someone's watching us. We aren't exactly number one on the paparazzo's list of people to get, y'know?"

"Do I detect a note of melancholy in your voice? Do you not remember the many times the paparazzi had you cornered? Do you not remember calling me at three in the morning, begging me to come rescue you from some roadside dive's bathroom because there was a flock of photographers waiting outside?"

"One time in fourteen years of friendship, and you've got to remember that!"

"Because I happened to be in bed with the most gorgeous, the most amazing—"

"Please don't tell me the wonderful qualities of your dogs again, J."

"Hey, hey, I think I see one!"

"A dog?"

"Jesus Christ, no wonder the fans think you're stupid. A photographer, look!"

"Well what do you want me to do? Burst into song and dance?"

"Better not. I don't think he has a video camera…'

"HEY! MYSTERY PHOTOGRAPHER! WE'RE OVER HERE!"

"For crying out loud! Did you have to do that?! Now he's running away!"

"Want me to run him down and get his number for you?"

"You're not funny."

"Maybe not, but you're hilarious when you growl like that."

"Remind me again why I asked you to come with me?"

"Because I'm beautiful, amusing and wonderful?"

"…"

"Y'know, J, when you glare like that I can almost see fire in your eyes."

"…"

"There it is again!"

"Nick—"

"I thought I could only piss Kevin off like this, but—"

"Nick—"

"—Apparently I was wrong! I'm the master of pissing off my bandmates—"

"Nickolas Gene—"

"Do you have to use my whole name?"

"If it gets your attention, yes. We're here."

"Where? All I see is a big house and… No, J. No, no, no, you did not bring me here."

"Yes I did."

"I told you weeks ago that I don't want to talk to him. There's nothing to say anymore. He—"

"Needs to talk to you. You need to hear his side, Nick. C'mon, it'll be alright."

"AJ, I'm serious. I'm not ready for this. I can't just… He thinks I hate him… God, I told him I hate him months ago, and…"

"Now it's time for you to tell him you were talking out of anger."

"Now I think I'm starting to hate you, too."

"Jesus, Nick. You can't go on hating him for doing something that made him happy. Just walk up to the door, ring the bell, and let it go from there."

"…I don't hate him."

"I know you don't."

"He's my big brother, y'know?"

"He's mine, too."

"And every day without him in the studio just…"

"Atta boy, Nick. Go tell him that, okay?"

"Aren't you coming?"

"No."

"How come?"

"Because I talked to him already. I'm fine with his decision. I'm fine with everything. I don't need to—"

"You're jealous because he has a baby already, aren't you?"

"…"

"Have you even been to see the baby?"

"Brian dragged me over—"

"C'mon, J. Ring the bell and let it go from there."

"Using my words on me isn't going to work—"

"Sure it is. C'mon. After this, we can go looking for our Mystery Photographer again!"