Secret Love


“Who is she?!” I demanded to my husband, Nick, of 5 years.

“She’s a friend, that just so happens to work at the record company.” He stated.

“Oh really so if she’s just a friend then why are you so secretive about it?” I asked Nick, as I looked him up and down.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” He said while fidgeting.

“Nothing to worry about?! You think that you talking to her at 2:30 in the fucking morning and sneaking behind my back to talk to her and what not is NOTHING to worry about?” I yelled.

“Nothing is going on Lexi so just calm down.” He said

“Yeah like I can believe anything that comes out of your mouth right now.” I said as I bent down to pick up toys that were scattered around the playroom.

“How can you do this to me Nick? For god sakes we have an 8 month old daughter and a 2 year old son up in their rooms sleeping right now, but yet for some odd reason you go around doing god knows what with god knows who!? And to top it all off you want me to calm down, I don’t think so.” I yelled as I threw down the toys and started to walk into the kitchen.

For four months now my husband and I have been fighting constantly. This girl named Jacquelyn that works at JIVE records that has been talking to my husband, mind you the conversations they have been having aren’t very friendly if anything they are sexual and flirtatious, least that’s what I’ve heard from some people at JIVE.

“God Nick you must think I’m stupid?” I turned and looked at him.

“No I don’t think you’re stupid I just think you’re over reacting.” He said while making his way to sit on a barstool in the kitchen.

“Oh yeah, you think that I’m over reacting? Well you sure as hell know if you were in my shoes you would be acting the same if not worse than I am.” I stated simply looking at him dead in the eye.

I sighed, “Nick you haven’t been home when you said you would be, then you call to say your going to be a couple of minutes late but you always end up being a few hours late, you’ve been hiding your phone bills from me by shredding them and putting them in a fucking poptart box upside down in the bottom of the trashcan.” I yelled.

“That’s it I’m done. I’m over all this shit Alexis I can’t take you, your bullshit or your accusation’s anymore. I’m tired of being questioned and or blamed for something that has never happened. The only reason I stayed with you is because of Bella and Brandon. I want a divorce.” He yelled.

“Fine if that’s what you want, then boy you’ve got it. Do it, I don’t care. Do what you need to get out of this fucking marriage.” I said coldly, as I looked him dead in the eye.

“You can bet your happy ass that I will, come tomorrow morning I am going to my lawyer.”

“Whatever.” I said as I walked upstairs to check on the kids.

I walked into my son’s room and squatted down next to his bed as I watched him sleep. ‘He looks so precious and just like his daddy’ I thought to myself as I ran my hand down his cheek. I slowly got up and kissed him on his forehead then covered him up some more.

“Goodnight Brandon, I love you.” I whispered to him even though I knew he couldn’t hear me. I turned around and walked out of the room while heading into my 8 month-old daughter’s nursery.

I walked over to the crib and noticed that my baby, Bella, was lying there and sleeping soundly with no cares or worries in the world. I couldn’t resist so I picked her up and grabbed her blanket and proceeded to walk over to the rocking chair. I sat there just holding my daughter while rocking her back and fourth, I couldn’t help but look at her and get a little teary eyed. ‘God how I don’t want to make you two go through a custody battle.’ I thought as tears slipped down my cheeks.

He felt something squeeze in his chest as he watched the moment unfold. Standing silently in the doorway, he watched, not wanting to interrupt them.

“Oh my sweet Bella how I love you, your brother and daddy so, so much.” I whispered.

“I don’t know why but I guess your daddy and I are falling apart. I guess he fell out of love with me. I just wish it could have been different. God how I still love your daddy.” I said as I started to cry all over again as I cradled Bella tighter.

Nick couldn’t take it anymore, after hearing her say that she still loves him no matter what has happened and seeing her sitting there cradling his little girl while she was sobbing just made his heart soar but yet he also felt as if he was the scum of the earth. ‘I have to make it up to her somehow and make her know that I still do love her’ he thought to himself.

“Hey” He said as he finally made his presence known in the room.

I looked up “hey” I simply stated as I looked back down at Bella in my arms.

“Is she okay? Did she wake up or something?” He questioned while walking over to Bella and I in the rocking chair by the bay window.

“Oh yeah she’s fine, I just felt like holding her.” I said quietly while slowly rocking her back and forth.

“Oh okay that’s good, hey Lexi can we talk for a second?” Nick asked softly

“Sure, just let me put her back in her crib and I’ll be out in a second.” I said casually

“No here let me do it you go on ahead and I’ll be out in a second.” Nick said as he picked up Bella from my arms.

“Okay I’ll be the bedroom.” I said cautiously as I started to walk out.

“Okay I’ll be there in a few” Nick said as he turned and walked towards the crib.

I then stopped and turned around and watched as Nick laid Bella down in her crib. He stood motionless for about a minute or two till he reached down and stroked her small precious face and proceeded to say ‘I love you my Bella’ as a tear slipped down his cheek. ‘Now I knew why and how I fell in love with that man but yet how can he lie to me?’ I wondered as I walked back to what once was our bedroom.

I sat there on one of the chairs that were dubbed the ‘seating area’ of the bedroom waiting for Nick to come in and find out what he wants to talk about. ‘Probably just wants to discuss the custody of Brandon and Bella’ I thought. Then, as if on cue Nick walked into the room, while shutting the door behind him. I stood up and walked over to where he was but stayed about 3 or so feet away from him.

We both stood there not knowing what to say or do. It was silent for about 5 minutes before Nick had finally spoken.

“Baby I want to apologize to you about what I said earlier about you and the kids.”

“Its nothing don’t worry about it.” I said coldly while standing there with my arms folded.

“Lexi listen to me I love you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for treating you like shit. I’m sorry for lying to you. I know I shouldn’t be associating with her but baby you have to believe me that her and I did NOTHING together and I mean NOTHING.” He said while looking at me pleadingly.

I looked up into his blue eyes that were now clouded with tears. “God Nick do you realize how hard this is for me? To stand here and not being able to believe what you are saying to me?” I questioned him while trying to hold back tears of my own.

Nick just lowered his head down in shame and realized how she must feel. “Honey I am so sorry for causing this family so much pain and trouble. Tonight when I said those harsh things I didn’t realize how much they would not only hurt you but the kids and myself.” Nick said as he started to walk over to me.

I started to fidget ‘he was actually thinking about all of us now and not just himself, but how can I believe what he is saying?’ I wondered as my gaze shifted to the floor.

‘God she is so beautiful’ Nick thought to himself, ‘how could I do this to her, she is such an amazing woman. The mother of my children, my wife and my best friend, how could I be such a jerk?’

“Baby” Nick said “Alexis…Baby, please look at me.” Nick said as he titled her face up to look at him.

“Watching you tonight with Bella made me realize what I was going to lose. You, Brandon and Bella are my life. You’re the reason I live, if I was too lose you and the kids I wouldn’t be who I am. Sure I have my fans and my career, but baby nothing in this world can compare to you and the kids. Lexi Lynne Carter, I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you and I will continue to love you for the rest of my life.” Nick stated as tears were rolling down his cheeks.

I was already crying myself. “I love you too Nick, but honey it’s not so much as being secretive about everything it’s just the fact why are you lying to me about you not talking to her?” I said as I wiped away his tears with my fingers.

“Baby I know I should have been truthful since nothing was going on between me and her. I’m sorry for lying, for being a jackass and I’m sorry for hurting you and the kids in the process. All I want is for us to move on past this and get back to normal.” He said as he his right hand stroked my cheek.

“Will you forgive me?” Nick questioned

“Honey in all honesty I forgave you the minute I saw you holding Bella in the nursery, but I will not forget this. I feel the same way as you, I just want to move on and put this in the past and get back to normal.” I said while more tears started to roll down my cheeks.

“I’ve missed you.” Nick replied as he cupped my face.

“I’ve missed you too.” I said right before Nick’s lips came crashing down on mine.

“How about we start working on a new brother or sister for Brandon and Bella?” Nick questioned me while smirking.

I smiled, “let’s get to work”

“My pleasure” Nick said as he kissed me again.


THE END