Chapter 1


I took in a deep breath as I looked at the big building in front of me. So this is it. Riverside High. This was going to be my new school for the next year. I am now a senior, and have to spend the last year of high school HERE. My life was not even close to being perfect now. Oh, I wish dad hadn't taken the job of being the manager of the Backstreet Boys. He didn't even talk to me or Austin about it. He just took it! I wanna go back to Kansas! I stopped my thoughts and glanced at my watch. 8:00. I better get going. I took out my locker combination and looked at the number. B107. What's the B for? Oh yeah, the halls. It's so stupid how they name their halls with letters. Why are there even so many halls in the first place? I sighed as I walked into the building. Kids were hustling around everywhere, trying to get to where they needed to be for their first class. I was sure I wasn't the only new kid here. I looked around. While trying to find the B hall, I saw so many different groups of kids. There were the cheerleaders. I have known to stay away from them. All they do is cause drama. I glanced past them and saw a bunch of nerds sitting at a table with a bunch of calculators surrounding them. I laughed quietly to myself. That is where I'll probably end up. I am a whiz at math. I turned around and saw some kids with soccer balls. I'm guessing that's the soccer team. I looked behind me and saw a bunch of guys and girls huddling around a table full of books. Shouldn't they be with the nerds? Okay, I'm done critisizing for now. I need to find the B hall! I looked up and what do you know, I was standing right where I needed to be.



As I made my way down the hall, I got pushed around alot. There were about 1000 kids crammed into this hallway. I tried to look for the numbers on the lockers, but they were hard to see because they were so small. I finally recognized one that said B110. Oops, I've gone too far. I turned around and accidentally bumped into one of the teachers. "I'm sorry!" I yelled. She must not have heard my apology, all she did was grunt at me. Geez. Am I going to be the only polite person at this school? I finally found my locker right when the bell rang. Oh my god, I can NOT be late! I hurried to open my locker and slammed my backpack inside, taking out my agenda and binder. I took one look at my schedule and read the room number. B1100. Oh my god, all the way at the end of this hall? You're kidding me! I ran down the hall, and made it to the classroom about 4 minutes late. I slowed down, and walked inside. Every eye was on me. Not only was I the new girl, but also the late girl. What a way to start out the day. I found a seat next to two girls who were both dressed in black. I shuddered. I quietly sat down, trying to not let them distract me. The teacher gave me a stern look and started babbling on and on about where everything was in the school, and what was for lunch. I swear, if I make it past today, I will hug my brother. That is something I will regret forever, but it's not like I'll make it through today.



Ring. Finally the lunch bell rang, and I slowly got up and headed for the door. I let everyone else scoot on past me, as I didn't want to get caught in the crowd. I made my way to my locker, got my lunch, and followed some students to where I thought was the cafeteria. Turns out they were going to the library to do homework and not eat lunch. I turned around and went to the main office. "Excuse me, where is the cafeteria?" I asked. A lady looked up from her work and said, "Out this door, take a left, then head towards the end of the main hall, and it's on the right." I nodded. I think I got that. "Thank you so much!" I went out the door and walked on down the hall. By this time, lunch was probably half over, so I decided to just sit down in the hallway and eat quickly. Maybe I could get to my next class without getting caught in the flow.



The rest of the day was hectic. I fell about 100 times throughout the afternoon trying to get to class. I swear, I am going to go home and complain so much! I will threaten to leave the family! I wanna go back home! This was too much! I already had a ton of homework, and it was only the first day! These people are nuts!


As I got off the bus, finally home, I got the mail. Nothing for me, as usual. It was all for dad about the so called Backstreet Boys. What was so great about them anyways? My dad told me that I used to listen to them, but I can't even remember. He was probably just trying to help me by saying I USED to love them, and that I would love them again right when I saw them. Psh. Not gonna happen. Who cares about a boy band where the "boys" are already 25 and older? Yeah, thats right. The youngest one was 25, I believe. They're all men now. Not boys. I went inside and closed the door, hoping mom would have a snack ready. "Hey hun, how was your first day?" She came in from the living room. "Oh, lets just say I came home from a haunted house." I went to the fridge and got some milk, noticing that my mom didn't have a snack ready. "Oh honey, it wasn't that bad, was it?" "It was, mom. I was late to my first class, bumped into a teacher trying to get to my locker, couldn't find the cafeteria, and almost missed the bus." Mom laughed. "It's not funny!" I slammed the fridge after putting the milk away. "I'm not laughing at you, dear. I'm laughing because that's how the first day is supposed to be. Hectic." My mom has totally lost it. "Whatever." I replied. I took my glass of milk and headed upstairs. As I walked by the stairs to go downstairs, I heard music. "Hey, mom, what's going on downstairs?" I yelled back at her. "Oh, the Backstreet Boys are singing for your brother and dad. You should go down and listen. They're wonderful." I shrugged. Why not. I plunked my stuff down on the couch and went downstairs. I have to say, they don't sound that bad..but I honestly do not remember listening to them when I was little. When I got to the bottom, I peeked around the corner. Then I saw them.



One with tattoos on his arms, singing so wonderfully. Next to him was a guy about my height, singing so sweetly. Then there was a guy next to him singing so passionately. And then I stopped. My eyes were stuck to the blonde haired, blue-eyed boy who was taller than me, but younger than the others. I could tell just by looking at him that he was the youngest, although he was the tallest. His voice was amazing, I felt like I was on my way to Heaven when he sang his solo for one of the songs. I walked slowly to the couch in front of them and sat down. My eyes never left him. He suddenly glanced at me, and I turned away, looking at my brother, and acted like I was talking to him. I was sure my face was bright red, I could feel the heat instantly. Austin gave me a look that said, 'What the hell?' I shrugged and turned back towards the band. This time I looked at all of them as a group, not only at the blonde haired one that I realized I instantly had a crush on. They all sang so together, well, obviously. That's what they're supposed to do. That's what made them a band in the first place.



The song ended and my dad and Austin clapped. I decided I should join in. "That was so good!" Austin shouted. "Well boys, I am proud to be your manager. You guys are absolutely wonderful. Amazing. Well done." My dad said. "Brian, you have an amazing effect on the group, I can't believe it!" He continued. The second guy stood forward and said "Thank you." So that was Brian. "I'll tell you a little about myself and my background with the group. I joined this group when I was about 18 years old, and it has really changed my life. We have been together for about 13 years now, I believe, and we are not planning on quitting anytime soon. It's what we do." Brian said. "Next to me, here is AJ McLean. He is...20? I don't know." He laughed. "He joined the group around the same time I did. Then next came Howie Dorough. He is the second oldest of us here, being only a few years younger than me. I am the oldest..."He laughed again. "Yeah, this man is gettin' old," the blonde haired one said. "Aight, I am Nick Carter, 25 years old, the youngest of the group. I started out when I was 12 years old, and I have learned alot from these guys. They're like my second family." "I see, I see, well boys, I again am honored to be your manager, and I will do all that I can for you guys. In fact, the first thing I will do is serve you dinner tonight. How does that sound?" My dad asked. I was surprised. I had no idea my dad would actually let these...these famous people eat with us. I mean, yeah, he's famous now too, but to have the Backstreet Boys eat here? At our house? In our dining room? With me, Austin, and mom? Wow.



The guys agreed to stay for dinner, and we all headed upstairs. They sat down in the living room while my mom prepared dinner. I got my stuff and started to head upstairs. Austin was sitting down with Brian, acting like he was his best friend. I guess he had gotten a chance to meet them already. "Hey, Austin, why don't you introduce us to your sister?" Brian asked. "Psh, she's a loser, you don't wanna get to know her." I turned around. "Excuse me? I am not a loser. I am a mature young adult." I paused. "I'm Shannon..19 years old, um, yeah, and I guess you met Austin." Was it just me, or was it getting hot in here? I tried not to look at Nick, but I couldn't help it. He was so fucking hot! "Well, hey Shannon. Why don't you come over here and sit? We can help you with your homework." Nick smiled. Oh my God, did Nick just ask me to go and sit down, over there, next to him, and do my homework? I stood there like an idiot for probably a minute before I nodded my head. My brother started laughing ridiculously. As I walked over there, I hit Austin in the head, making him shut up. "Hey, that's what we do to Nick!" Howie suddenly said. I laughed. "Why?" Oh god, what a stupid question. "He's such a nutball, that's why." Nick laughed. "Okay, okay guys, stop with the jokes. We all know I'm the youngest, that's unfair to make her think I'm a disobedient dork. Shannon, don't believe anything they say. They're just old." Austin and I laughed. "We are not old! We are young, mature adults," Aj said while getting up to go smack Nick on the head again. "Wow, it must be interesting being you, Nick." I tried not to look at him, but it was rude not to. I looked up, and oh my god, there was the most gorgeous face ever. "Yeah, it is very interesting being me." He stared into my eyes. There was this, this connection that instantly started going off inbetween me and him. He suddenly snapped out of it. "Now, what about that homework?" He said. I started feeling like a little kid who needed her mommy or daddy to tell her to do her homework. "Oh, right." I scrambled to get the things out of my backpack. Right when I had set the books on the table, Mom's voice rang out throughout the house. "Dinnertime!" We all got up and headed for the dining room.



My mom had prepared lasagna and garlic bread, my favorite meal. Too bad I was going on a diet now that school started. And hell, I wouldn't eat alot now anyways since the guys are here. I simply took a piece of bread, then got up and got myself a bowl of salad. "Would anyone rather have salad?" I asked jokingly. "Honey, why don't you wanna eat lasagna? It's your favorite." "Oh, I want there to be plenty for the guys mom." I replied. I sat back down and we all helped ourselves to what we wanted. Around the table tonight, there was only one conversation going on, and that was, of course, about the Backstreet Boys, and the whole management deal. The management part was boring, however, but when the guys, Nick for example, told us about his life and what he wanted to do in the future, I got really interested, and eventually stopped eating and just sat there listening in amazement. His family was very interesting. He has one younger brother named Aaron, who is also a professional singer, and 3 younger sisters: BJ, Leslie, and Angel. Angel is Aaron's twin sister. She is a model. Leslie sings, and BJ is learning to be a chef. However, it is it very sad that his parents got divorced. I silently sipped my water while listening. Then, they changed the subject. They started asking Austin some questions about sports, music, etc. He answered very easily. Wait a minute. Oh no. I was next. I better put my water down and get ready to talk. I am sort of shy, this may become a problem.."So Shannon, you said you're 19. How was your first day being a wonderful senior, the masters of high school?" AJ asked. "Oh, it was very hectic, but I managed." I replied. "That's good. I remember my first day was hectic, also. I think it's supposed to be that way." I looked back at my mom, thinking about what she had said earlier, which was exactly what AJ had just said. "Yes, I believe it is, too." I said. Nick butted in. "Are you into any kinds of music, sports, or anything like that?" He asked. "Well actually, my dad reminded me that I used to listen to you guys when I was little, but I honestly don't remember. I'm guessing that will change soon, though." I winked at Nick. Oh god, what was I doing? Flirting with Nick? I shouldn't do this. But he's so cute! I looked back at him and all he did was smile and say, "That's interesting. I hope you enjoy our music. So, any sports?" Oh believe me, I will enjoy it, I thought. "Hm, sports, nothing yet, but I am thinking about trying out for track or volleyball." I said. "Aw, no basketball?" Brian whined. "Basketball was never my thing, sorry to say. I couldn't handle the ball." I admitted. "Oh, I see." He replied. Then they surprisingly stopped talking to me, so I asked my mom if I could clear the dishes. She nodded her head, and I got up and took half the table's dishes. A few minutes later, Nick followed me in. Oh my god, this is not happening.



"Hey Shannon, need some help?" he asked. Oh god, should I let him help or is that rude? "Oh, no, no it's fine. You're the guest, don't bother." I replied. I turned on the water and started to rinse the plates off. Instead of not helping like I told him too, he found the soap and put some in. "You might want some of that, it'll help the dishes get cleaner." I turned red. I had goofed. Oh god, help me. I was losing it. I was too lost in the fact that Nick Carter was in my house, eating dinner with me, talking to me, and now helping me with dishes; to even remember something simple like soap. "Right, sorry, I forgot." I managed to say. "It's okay," he said as he took a rag and started wiping a plate down. As he was placing it back into the tub of water, he accidentally splashed me. "Oh my god, I'm sorry," he said. "No problem, it happens." I got a rag and "accidentally" plopped it into the water too quickly, splashing Nick back. "Oh, I'm so sorry." I started to flirt. I shouldn't be doing this, I thought to myself. To my surprise, he squirted me back with the water hose thingy. "My bad," he said. "Oh, I see how it is. Well, two can play that game." I dumped the rag into the sink again, and sent water everywhere, but not too much. The lower part of his blue shirt got wet. "You're on!" He yelled. I ran to the back door, and hurried outside, and hid behind a bush. I heard him open the door, and silently look around for me. "Come out, come out, wherever you are." He said. I laughed. I put my hand over my mouth. He was sure to find me now...Suddenly a splash of cold water went down my back. "Oh my god!" I jumped up and ran after him, realizing that I had no amo to get him with. It turned into a game of tag. I chased him down, and finally tagged the back of his shirt. "You're it!" I ran back towards the house, but got stuck in a corner. Oh no, Nick was coming! "Ahh!" I screamed. "Haha, gotcha!" I was blocked inbetween him and the wall. "What are you gonna do now, hmm?" I thought about what I could do, but ended up with nothing. "I think I'm stuck. You win." He laughed. "I am the king of tag!" Hold up, why was he still blocking me against the wall? The game was over. He looked at me. I gazed into his beautiful, blue eyes, a thousand different thoughts rushing through my head. I wonder what he was thinking. "Do you know that you're eyes are really pretty?" He suddenly asked. I didn't know what to say. "I..I guess they are. Yours are, too." He didn't respond. Instead he looked at the window that we were standing closest too. Everyone from inside was watching us. How embarassing. Nick suddenly moved and let me out of the corner. He walked back inside, but I stayed outside. What had just happened? Was Nick looking deep within me, or just staring at me to make me think that I have a chance? Whatever it was, it worked. I was entranced by his compassion and beautiful looks. I was in love with that boy.

I walked back inside, hoping no one was looking at me or Nick. "I finished the dishes, mom." I said. I looked at Nick, who smiled, but then looked away and started talking to Brian. I walked out of the room. I went upstairs and laid down on my bed. Oh crap, I forgot my homework downstairs. I opened my door and skipped to the stairs. I looked down, just to make sure no one was watching. To my surprise, Nick was gathering my stuff together. I ran back to my room and laid down on my bed just like I was doing before. Knock, knock. I got up, and opened the door. "Hey.." I said. "Hi..you, um, left your work downstairs.." he said. "Thanks for bringing it to me. I totally forgot about it," I lied. He turned around, but I didn't want him to leave. "Hey, you owe me another game of tag." I suddenly said. He turned around and smiled. "Name a time and place, and I'll be there, babe." Oh my god, he just called me babe! "My backyard, tomorrow afternoon?" He thought about it and then said, "That'll work. You better be prepared." He winked at me. "You better be too." I smiled. "What's the prize for the winner?" I asked. He smiled. "Winner.. has to take the loser.. to a movie." Oh my god. He made it so that whoever loses, we both end up going to the movies! "Okay, be here, 1 PM." I said. "Can't wait. Now, get to work on those math problems." He winked. "But, I...I need help.." I lied. I wanted him to stay here, and I would do anything to make that happen. "No, you need to do that on your own. You'll get enough of me tomorrow, I'm sure of it." With that, he closed the door. Oh my. How am I supposed to do the problems now? I had tomorrow to think about! Sigh. Oh well. I took out a pencil and got to work. I couldn't let my grades get caught up with my love life.



The next morning, I bounded happily down the stairs. "Mom, what's for breakfast this morning?" I asked happily. "Bacon and eggs." She replied. "Oh sounds yummy!" "Okay, what's going on, you hate bacon and eggs!" my mom said. "Nothing! I just decided maybe I should try it today." She handed me a plate and I happily ate it and drank my milk, said thanks, hugged her, and ran back upstairs to get ready for this afternoon. What bathing suit should I wear underneath my tank top and shorts? I wanted to look hot, but not too hot. I didn't want to make him think that I was showing off for him. How about the navy blue one with white flowers? It's not too showy, and it's comfortable for running around in. I decided to go with that, so I slipped it on, put my little sundress on over it, grabbed a towel, and headed downstairs to get on the computer. I threw the towel on the couch, and sat down at the computer table. I signed onto AIM. Hm, I wonder if Nick has AIM. I got up and went downstairs to ask my dad. He would probably know, being a computer person AND the manager of the Backstreet Boys. "Hey dad, do you have any of the guy's instant messaging screenames?" I asked. "Yes, I do, do you want them?" What a silly question to ask. "Yes, please!" He wrote them down for me and I bounded back up the stairs to put the names in. After adding them, I realized that Nick was on. I was afraid to IM him, he might think I'm stalking him or something. Suddenly, an IM box appeared. It was NickyC. Whoa..


NickyC: Hey Shannon.
Shannondx3: Hey..how did you get my screename?!
NickyC: I asked your dad for it. Do you not want to talk to me? =/
Shannondx3: No, no, I'm perfectly fine with it. So what's up?
NickyC: Just gettin' ready for our little game in about an hour ;)
Shannondx3: Hehe, I'm already ready. If you want to come earlier, you can. My mom and dad are just doin' work, and Austin would probably like to play basketball with you for a litle bit. What do you say?
NickyC: I say sure, why not? I'll be over in about half an hour. See ya :)
Shannondx3: See ya ^.^



I signed off. Today was going to be so much fun! I couldn't wait. I ran upstairs and barged into Austin's room. "Hey, hey, can't a guy have some privacy?" He said. "Nick is comin' over in a few minutes. He wants to play some basketball with you. What do you say?" I asked. "Okay, okay, that boy is ON!" He barged up from his bed and grabbed his basketball. We jumped down the stairs and headed out to the backyard. Nick was surprisingly already there, running around the pavement for excercise. "Hey you guys," he said when he saw Austin and I. "Little man, you're on! he said to Austin. I sat down next to Nick's towel and watched them play. Nick was so sexy when he was running up and down the court, shooting baskets, sweat runnin' down his face. I bet he couldn't wait to get soaked with water. I know I couldn't. It was a really hot day for late August and I was already needing some water. I went back inside and grabbed three water bottles, one for me, one for Nick, and one for Austin. When I came back out, both of them were sitting on the pavement, gasping for breath. "Are you guys alright? Here, take some water." I handed them their bottles, and sat down next to them. Ouch, the pavement was hot. I jerked back up. "Dang, that cement gets hot! Are you sure it's not because you're sitting on it, Nick?" I asked. I looked at Austin. He suddenly got up, and headed for the house. "Maybe it's because I'm sitting on it, maybe it's because you're standing on it. Either way, it's burning hot." I blushed. "Let's get on with the game already!" I yelled. " No, no, first I wanna play you in basketball." Nick, you know I can't play!" He laughed. "Come on, I could teach you if you suck that bad." I gave in. "Okay, okay." He gave me the ball. "Here, try one shot." I took the ball, and he told me where to stand. That was too far away. I moved up until I was about right underneath it, but in a place where I could still possibly make the shot. I threw the ball and it hit the backboard and hit the ground. I ran to go get it. "This is too hard, Nick." I complained. He came over behind me and said, "Here, get on my shoulders." "Are you freaking crazy? I weigh like 90 pounds!" I exclaimed. "Are you freaking crazy? I can lift alot more than that, thank you very much. Now get on." He ducked down, and I got on his shoulders. He handed me the ball, and lifted me up till I was right in front of the goal. "Now shoot!" He yelled. I threw the ball and made it! "Yes! Now get me down!!" I yelled. He let me down and gave me a highfive. "See, you don't suck." I laughed. "Yeah, but it's not like I can ride on your shoulders during a game." He got his water and drank like half of it in one gulp. "Wow, need more?" I asked. "Nah. Let's play some water tag!"




With that, he ran to the bush and took out a bucket of water he had been hiding. "What?! That's unfair!"I yelled. "I said come prepared!" He said. "I'll just go in and get something, then!" I started for the door. Suddenly, something really cold drenched my neck and back. I turned around. "That's cheating! You didn't come prepared, your fault." He laughed. "Ugh, fine!" I pretended to be mad and sat down on the grass. "Aw, come on babe, don't be like that." He set the bucket down. I suddenly got up, grabbed the bucket, and ran off. "Hahahahaha I got you!"I screamed. "Hey, hey now, that's unfair!" He just stood there. "No, it's not!" I came up behind him and dumped the bucket of water on him. He was soaked. Good thing he was wearing swimming trunks. "Now, I can't be the only one wet. Come here and give me a big hug." He started coming towards me. I ran off to the front of the house and hid behind the garbage cart. He won't find me here, I thought. Suddenly, I was freezing cold. He had found me, and snuck up on me, and gave me a giant hug. I was soaking wet, and I couldn't get out of his embrace. "Ahhh, let me go, let me go!" I fought and fought, but he was too strong. Finally, he let me go, and I went crashing to the ground. I turned around and laid on my back on the nice, cool grass. Nick laid down beside me. "You win, again." I said. "Haha, you know what that means. I get the prize." I looked at him. "Okay, you get the prize." "So." He got up and laid down behind me, his face right above mine. I looked up into his blue eyes. "So?" I asked. "What movie and when?" he asked. "Hm, I don't really care, it's your pick since you won. Anything is fine with me." He got up again, and laid down next to me. It's like he couldn't decide where to lie down. What a dork. I laughed. "What's so funny?" "Nothing, nothing, you just can't stay put, can you?" I asked. "Well, I'm trying to figure out what position is best for me to kiss you." I smiled. "Baby, any position is fine. Just kiss me." I sat up, and he leaned in and kissed me, the most passionate kiss I have ever received. Well, the only kiss I had ever received. I swear, it was about 5 minutes long. He finally let go, and I fell to the ground once again. He stood up, grabbed my hands, and helped me get up. Suddenly, the sprinklers came on. He took my hand, and we ran through them like little kids on a hot, summer day. Again, me and my klutzy self, slipped and fell back onto my back. Nick fell right on top of me, didn't hurt at all, and we rolled down the hill. I was hoping we would land in such a way that I would be on bottom. Well, we did. Once again, we stared into eachother's eyes. "I love you, Shannon." Nick suddenly said. "I..I love you too, Nick." He leaned in to kiss me..



Then we heard a car honk from the driveway. It was Brian, AJ, and Howie. "Well, well, well, what do we have here? Two lovers makin' out on the front lawn in the sprinklers?" AJ said. Nick and I suddenly got up. Brian and Howie laughed. "It's alright guys, you're not in trouble." Howie added. "Nick, we have a meeting in 30 minutes, you might wanna dry off.." Brian said. Nick looked at me and I knew that our fun was over, for now anyways. We walked back to the backyard, and I watched him dry off with his towel. "Where's your towel, baby?" "I must have forgotten it in the living room. Silly me. Always forgetting something." Nick laughed. "It's okay, you can use mine. " He wrapped it around me and then went inside. I'm guessing he brought an extra change of clothes with him. I smelled the towel, I know, I'm crazy; but I couldn't get enough of him. It smelled so good.



Once dried off, I walked inside and upstairs to go change. I guess Nick and I will have to discuss the movie plans after the meeting. I took a shower, and threw on a pair of capris and a nice shirt, who knows why, since I was just going to be around the house. I checked to see if Austin was doing his homework, since he likes to procrastinate and do it on Sundays. I barged in his room, again. "Hey, are you done with your homework?" I asked. "Are you done with your lover?" He asked. "Austin, he is not my lover, we're just friends!" He laughed. "Yeah right, I know the story about you and him makin' out on the front lawn. Brian told me." Oh great ..my brother was going to make fun of me now.."Well, okay, maybe he is, but we're not going out or anything." "You my as well be going out." I closed the door. He was right. We should be going out. Maybe that will change when we go to the movies. Maybe he'll ask me out. After all, he's the one who kissed me first, and made the prize turn into a date, and said 'I love you' first. Just maybe..

As soon as the meeting was over, Brian, Howie, and AJ came upstairs. Where was Nick? "Hey, Brian, where's Nick?" I asked. "He's still downstairs, probably waiting for you." He winked at me. "Oh pulleasee." I smiled. I quietly walked downstairs. "Nick?" I asked. "You down here?" I got to the bottom and saw him sitting down on the floor staring at the wall. "Yeah, I'm down here." What was he doing? "Um, is there any reason why you're staring at the wall?" He looked up at me. "No, not really." Something was wrong. "Aw babe, what's wrong?" I asked. "Nothing's wrong, I just had to make up an excuse to stay down here alone, so that you would come down here, so I could ask you something." This didn't make sense. "What do you need to ask me?" I asked. "Shannon, I.. I really like you, but I know our age difference is, well, not that close, but I was wondering... would you like to be my girlfriend?" I was shocked. Well, not really shocked. I knew this was coming, just not now. I sat down next to him. "Yes, Nick, of course I would. I like you alot, I don't even care about the age difference. All I know is that I like you, I like being with you. You make me feel like myself. You're the only one that really understands me." I sat in closer to him and hugged him. "I love you, baby." I said. He hugged me back, and we sat there for about 5 minutes before letting go. He kissed my cheek, and we headed upstairs. I stopped. "Wait, so when's the movie?" I asked. He still hadn't told me. "The movie is tonight, 7PM, my hotel room." I thought about it. Hotel room? "Uhmm... ?" He seemed to know what I meant. "No, no, I'm not like that, Shannon. That's how I used to be, but not anymore. And anyways, you're too complex."He looked at me. "Yeah, I am."


Nick left with the guys 5 minutes later, and I rushed upstairs to get ready for tonight. Did he want me to wear my pajamas? Maybe I should ask. I got out my cellphone and called him. "Hello?" he answered. "Hey Nick, it's Shannon. I got a question." "Okay." He replied. "What should I wear? Do you want me dressed up, casual, or in my pajamas? He didn't answer for about 15 seconds. "Whatever's most comfortable to you. I'm just wearin' casual, but if you want your pajamas, go ahead and wear them. Bring a blankie, stuffed animal, anything. It's all about us tonight. Do whatever." I thought about it. I knew exactly what I would wear and bring. "Okay, I'll see you later." We hung up.


I went back upstairs and slipped on my teddy bear pajamas, and got my fleece blanket I got when I was little, and my little doggie stuffed animal I had gotten for my 12th birthday by this guy, and put them in a bag. I bounded down the stairs, and got on the computer. I wonder if Nick is on. When I signed on, the only person who was on was Brian. I decided to IM him.


Shannondx3: Hey Brian(:
BrianLittrell: Hey, Shannon! What's up?
Shannondx3: Just gettin' ready. I'm goin' out tonight.
BrianLittrell: Ah, I see. May I ask where and with whom?


I paused. Becoming my body guard? Whatever, should I really tell him? I would've thought that Nick told them..


Shannondx3: Well, I'm guessing Nick didn't tell you then..
BrianLittrell: Tell me what?


Hold up, maybe Nick didn't want me to tell them yet. What should I do? I thought about it.


Shannondx3: Nothing, nothing. About tonight, I'm just going out with a few friends to a party.


I lied, but I couldn't let them know what was going on.


BrianLittrell: I see. Well, hope you have fun. Hey, I got a question for you.
Shannondx3: Okay, thanks! Shoot.
BrianLittrell: Do you have this thing for Nick? It really seems like you do, with what happened at dinner Friday, and what we saw earlier.
Shannondx3: Um, well, I do have this thing for him, and I think he has this thing for me, but it's probably only contemporary.
BrianLittrell: Well, I just want to remind you how he is. He may say he's not like "that" anymore, but just a week ago we found him and this girl doing you-know-what in his room. I just wanna watch out for you.


I paused. He had lied to me! And I was going to his hotel room later tonight! What should I do? I'm not ready for that! I'm only 19. I'm sophisticated. I don't go for that.


Shannondx3: Well, he told me that he wasn't like that anymore, and that he wouldn't do that to me because I'm too complex and sophisticated. Do you think he was lying?
BrianLittrell: I'm afraid he most likely was.. Be careful.
Shannondx3: But he said so himself! He really likes me, and he asked me out just before you guys left. I even asked him about what we were doing and all he said was watching a movie, and then he said that he's not like that anymore. I believe him.
BrianLittrell: Well, I'm just warning you then. Be careful tonight. Have fun, but don't let him make any moves on you. If it seems like he's trying to get you to do things, make up an excuse and say you have to be home or something.
Shannondx3: Okay, okay, I will. I'll leave if I start feeling uncomfortable, and he should be able to understand.
BrianLittrell: Thank you. I wouldn't ever want anything to happen to you.
Shannondx3: Aw, thanks Bri :) Well, I need to go now. I'll talk to you later. See ya!
BrianLittrell: Have fun! Bye! :)



I signed off. Wow, I didn't know who to believe, Nick or Brian. Brian is his best friend, but Nick is Nick himself. He wouldn't lie to me. But neither would Brian. I'm so confused. I'll just go tonight, and if anything gets out of hand, I'll leave. I checked the time and realized that I needed to get going. I got in my car and headed for the hotel. When I got there, Nick was sitting in the lobby, waiting for me. "Hey, babe. Follow me." He grabbed my hand and we went up the stairs, instead of the elevator. We got to his room, he took out his door key, and unlocked it. "After you." He said. I walked in. Wow, it was actually....actually clean. There was one bed, a couch, a bathroom, and a tv on a desk. He had his laptop on the desk also. He handed me a movie. The title was The Sound of Music. "No way, you like this movie!?" I looked at him. "Well, no, but your dad said it's your favorite movie, so I'm going to take a chance and watch it." How sweet. "Aw, thanks." I plunked myself down on the couch, getting out my blanket and doggie, and got myself situated. He put the movie in, and then sat down next to me. "You need anything?" He asked. "No, no, I'm fine. I normally don't eat or drink during a movie. I know, call me weird." He laughed. "Weirdo." I hit him with a pillow. "That's not very nice." I said as I hit him again. "I'm just kidding, don't worry. If you're weird, then so am I." He said. "Okay, that's fair enough." I looked at the tv. The previews were over, and the movie was starting. We settled down, and watched. My favorite part about this movie was the songs, and the singing. Whenever there was a song, I ended up singing out loud, and Nick would just give me a weird look, since he doesn't know the songs. "You have a good voice." He said. "Thank you. So do you." Oh, nice move. Of course he has a nice voice! He's famous! "Well, thank you. I get that alot." I laughed.


~~~~~~~~~~~~


A few hours later, the movie was over, and I was yawning nonstop. "You tired?" Nick asked. What a loser. "No, I'm just yawning because I'm a weirdo. Yes, I'm tired!" I said. He laughed. I looked at my watch. It was almost midnight. Not that late. I figured I could stay another hour or so.

"Hey, I have an idea." I said. He looked at me. "Wanna play Truth or Dare? I know it's childish, but it's fun." I said. He laughed. "I'm into childish things. Just this afternoon we were running around in the sprinklers playing tag. Is that not childish enough?" I laughed. "Okay, okay, so we're both a little childish. You start." "Truth or dare?" I thought about it. I wanted to go extreme. "Dare." I replied. He thought about it, looking around the room. "I dare you to go get a can of Coke from the fridge, and chug it." I laughed. Oh gosh. "I'm going to be sick tomorrow." I got up and took a Coke out of the fridge. I opened it, and started to drink it. About halfway through, I stopped. My mouth and throat were freezing cold. "Hey now, you have to drink it all! Not half. Keep goin'." My stomach was hurting already. He watched in amazement as I kept drinking. I needed to get this over with. I finally finished and threw the can down. "Bravo, bravo." Nick said. I jumped back onto the couch, feeling hyper, yet nauseous. Oh well. The feeling will pass. "My turn. Truth or dare?" It took him a whole minute to decide. Finally, he said, "Truth." "Oh,come on, that's no fun!" I sighed. "Fine. Let me think of a question.." I looked up, trying to think. Should I ask him something about us, about someone else, about the girl he supposedly slept with last week, about his family, or what? I decided to ask him if he really liked me or not. I know, it's dumb, and he'll probably lie if he really doesn't like me, since I think he does, but whatever. "Do you really like me, or are you just trying to get me in the bed?" I asked. He looked down. Oh wow.. He didn't know what to say. "I need an answer, truthful answer, Nick." I said. "Well, honestly, at first, I wanted to, but that was right when I first saw you; before I had even met you. Now I don't want to, because I like you for who you are, not for what you can do. Even though I have no idea what you can do.." I was shocked. I didn't know whether or not to believe him. And I didn't even know what I could do. I laughed in my head. I didn't wanna find out. "Okay, that's sweet. Your turn." "Okay, truth or dare?" He asked. I wanted to do truth, but then I didn't wanna have to answer a question, I wanted to do something, so I said, "Dare." "Dang girl, you're a daredevil." He said. "Oh right, chugging a can of Coke was sooo hard." I laughed. He looked into my eyes, shocking me. What was he going to make me do?



"I dare you.." He paused. "To kiss me." I looked at him. That wasn't hard. I leaned in, and kissed him. I don't know how long he wanted, so we just kept kissing for a little bit. His hands clasped around my neck, and so I decided to put my hands on his chest. I was starting to lose my balance since I was sitting in an awkward position on the couch, so I let myself fall back to where I was laying down. That broke off the kiss. Oops. I looked at him. "Sorry, I was starting to fall." I said. He said," That's alright. Do we have to play the game still, or can we just kiss more?" He asked. Was he really wanting to kiss, or did he want more? I couldn't tell. I decided to stop the game. "Okay, the game is over." "Great, " he said as he moved forward. Oh geez, why was I laying down? He probably thinks I want to...you know. No, he knows me better than that. I let him move in closer, and kiss me. I kissed back, not knowing what to do with my hands this time since I was laying down. If I wrap my hands around him, he'll end up on top of me. Maybe that's okay...I decided to go for it. I wrapped my hands around his neck, and he immediately was on top of me, still kissing me. He put his hands on the couch, to make sure he wasn't squishing me. After about 5 minutes, he stopped, and got up. "What a dare." I said. He turned red. "I..I'm sorry, if you didn't want that.." "No, no it's, um, fine. ..After all, we are going out." "True.." he said. I went and sat down next to him, wondering what we were going to do now that it was almost 1 o clock. "Hey Nick, I think I should get going, it's kinda late." He looked at the clock on the tv and nodded his head. "Yeah, it is. I'll walk you out." I grabbed my things and we walked out to my car. When I got there, I turned around. "I had alot of fun, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He sighed. "Actually, I'm going to Florida tomorrow. I won't be back for a few weeks. I meant to tell you earlier, but I kinda forgot.." He said. I looked down. "Oh, I see. Well, that's okay, I guess. We'll have our phones and computer to keep in touch." He smiled. "Yeah, I'm really sorry. I need to go see my family; that's why I have to go." I looked at him. "Family is important. I guess I'll see you in a few weeks then." He hugged me. I placed my head on his chest. My eyes were starting to water. I looked back up at him. "I'll miss you." I tear ran down my cheek. "Babe, don't cry. It's only a few weeks. I promise, nothing will happen. I'll be gone, you'll have school to think about, and before you know it, I'll be back. Don't worry." He hugged me again, tighter this time. "Okay. Well, I need to get going.." He let go and kissed me on the cheek. "Bye, babe." I got into the car, and waved back at him, not knowing when I would see him again. He waved back, and off I went.

It's been 2 weeks, and I missed Nick terribly. We had been talking on the phone and computer alot, but it wasn't the same. The last time I talked to him, he said he was starting to get sick from the cold weather that was weirdly starting to come over. I told him to drink lots of hot tea and take tylenol to help the headaches, and take warm showers to help the cough. I was starting to get scared for him, he was having trouble sleeping, and it was a hassle trying to watch over his brother and sisters while he was sick. I decided to call BJ and talk to her. "Hello?" "Hey Beej, it's Shannon." I answered. "Oh, hey Shannon. What's up?" She asked. "Nothing much. Just missing Nick. How is he?" I asked. "Hold on, I'll go check on him." I heard her walk around, most likely to Nick's room. "He's sleeping. He has been for hours. When he's awake, all he does is cough." I sighed. "Aw, I wish I could do something. All I can do is tell him what to do, and obviously that's not working. How are you and everyone else?" I asked. "Oh, we're, well, fine, I guess. Alot of fighting since Nick isn't exactly well enough to tell us to shut up. Aaron is always going off at Leslie for singing 24/7, and Angel tries to get inbetween them, but it doesn't work, and so she ends up in the middle of the fight. Then I come in and try to break everyone up, but then I end up yelling too much, and everyone gets mad at me. I'm surprised Nick sleeps through it all." "Wow." That was all I could say. I wish I could be there to help them..but I can't leave school. "Well, if Nick gets worse, please tell me. You should take him to the doctor tomorrow, and see what he says. If something is really wrong, you guys should probably send him back here where there's parental supervision and everything."I stated.. "Okay, I'll make an appointment for tomorrow. It'll be hard to get him up, but he should understand that he needs help. Thanks for everything." "No problem. I'll call you later. See ya." I said. "Bye." I hung up.


Wow, Nick must be really sick. I wish I could do something, but I can't. I'm on the other side of the US for crying out loud. It's not like I can get a plane ticket, fly over there, and help him. I have to stay here for school, and I can't leave the family. I sighed. I walked slowly back upstairs, dreading school tomorrow. The last 2 weeks I've had so much homework, it's not even funny. I have 3 tests tomorrow: Social Studies, Science, and French.
I have no idea how I'm going to pass them all. Sure, I'm a straight A student, but that was back in Kansas. Here, the curriculum is way harder, and it was getting hard to focus now that Nick was away, and now it would be even harder since he was away and sick. I worry about him. I'm sure BJ will call me with the results tomorrow. For now, I need to focus on my work.





~~~~~~~~~~~~


The tests were'nt as hard as I thought they were going to be. I'm pretty sure I aced the Social Studies test. The Science test was a little difficult, but I managed. I probably got a B or something. The French test wasn't that hard, either. I was stumped on one word, but that's it. I probably got a high A. I got off the bus, and ran inside to see if I had any missed calls from BJ. Sure enough, I did. "Hey honey, what's the rush?" My mom said as ran upstairs. "Oh, BJ called! She's going to tell me the results about Nick! I need to call her back!" With that, I finished running up the stairs and jumped onto my bed. I dialed BJ's number. "Hello?" she answered quietly. "Hey, what's the news?!" I eagerly asked. "Um, Shannon, can I call you back in a few minutes?" She sounded upset. "Okay..bye." I hung up. What was wrong? Did something really bad happen? Was Nick dying? I needed to know! I paced back and forth in my room, impatient. A few minutes passed. No call yet. 5 minutes passed. Still no call. What's going on over there?? Suddenly, my phone started to ring. I grabbed it and flipped it open. "Bj! What's going on?!" I practically screamed into the phone. "Hey, um, well, I'm okay..the family is okay...almost." I stopped pacing. "What do you mean almost?" "N..Nick." She paused. "He's is really sick." "Yeah, I know, that's why I told you guys to take him to the doctor. What're the results?" I heard her start to cry. "BJ, what's going on? Tell me!" "Nick has pneumonia. Really bad. The...the doctor said..that..that he might not..." She stopped again. "Might not what?!" I asked frantically. "Live." OH MY GOSH. "Oh my gosh, BJ what's the percentage? 50/50?" She started to cry harder. "Shannon...it's very low. There's..there's a 10% chance he'll make it." OH MY GOSH. This was not happening! "You're joking, right? Please tell me you're just messing around! Really, how is he?" I started getting upset. "Shannon! I'm not joking! This is really happening!" I couldn't believe it. Nick, dying? I needed to be there! "BJ, tell everyone I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm going to ask my dad if I can come. I REALLY need to be there!" "Okay, I'll see you soon..." Her voice trailed off and then she hung up. I ran downstairs, yelling, "DAD! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU?!" "I'm right here sweetie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I hadn't noticed that I had started to cry. "Dad, it's...it's Nick. He's..he's in the hospital d...down in F..florida. He has Pn..eumonia, r..r..really b..bad. They said..they said that there's only a..a 10% chance he'll..he'll.. make it! I need to get down there, N..NOW!" I cried. My dad hugged me very tightly, trying to calm me down. He raced over to the computer and started looking for flights to Tampa Bay, Florida for tonight. "Honey, while I'm looking for flights, go call the guys and tell them what's happening. They'll need to know and go with you. Go!"


I raced back upstairs to get my phone and dialed Brian's number. I could barely see the numbers, but I guess I got it right since after two rings I heard, "Hello?" in a Donald Duck impersonation. "BRIAN!" I yelled. "Shannon, what's wrong?" He quickly asked back in his normal voice. "Nick, he's in the Tampa Bay hospital. He has Pneumonia, and there's only a 10% chance he''ll make it! You gotta pack your bags and come over here as soon as you can. My dad is looking for flights for me, you, Howie, and AJ for tonight. Hurry!!" I screamed. "Oh my~...Okay, we're coming! We'll be there in a few minutes!" I hung up. I raced back downstairs and told my dad that they were on their way. "Have you found a flight yet?" "Yes, it's for tonight at 9:00. Is that alright? You'll get to Tampa Bay around 3:30 AM." I sighed. "I guess that's the earliest we can get there. Take it. I gotta go pack my bag." I ran back upstairs, grabbed my 'Shannon' bag, and started throwing clothes, a blanket, Ipod, and my stuffed animal in. I raced to the bathroom, grabbed my hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, deoderant, etc. and threw it all in. I raced back downstairs. I was getting really tired from all of this racing around. The doorbell rang. "I GOT IT!" I yelled. I ran to the door and opened it. As soon as I did so, I was embraced into a big hug by Brian. I started crying. "Shannon, it's going to be okay. Nick will make it. He's very strong. He'll make it. He'll make it." Brian let go and looked at me straight in the eyes. "You believe in him, don't you?" I wiped my eyes while nodding my head. Howie and AJ were over by my dad talking about how we were going to get by all of the fans to get to the plane. "Dont worry, you guys. We'll have 4 security guards with you. Fans won't be able to get near you, and you'll be the only ones having first class on the plane, so no one can bother you. It'll be fine," I heard my dad say. The guys said thank you to my dad. Howie looked at his watch. "It's 7 o clock. We should get going. We need time to grab some supper on the way to the airport." I grabbed my bag. "I'll call the security guards and tell them to meet you at the airport," My dad said. "Okay. Thanks again." He turned towards us. "Guys, we're off."



I followed Brian, Howie, and Aj and got into Brian's car. It was about a 30 minute drive from the airport, so I took out my Ipod and put it on shuffle. The first song that played was Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely. Oh, how I hoped I wouldn't end up without Nick. I started to get tears in my eyes. I put the volume down a little lower and wiped my eyes. Howie, who was sitting next to me, grabbed my hand and held it in his hand. "It's gonna be okay, Shannon. Don't worry. He'll make it through." He put his arm around me and I placed my head on his shoulder. It was nice having such great friends. Well, these guys were like dads to me, except for Nick. Nick wasn't that old. I laughed in my head. That thought cheered me up a little. A few minutes later, we pulled up to the airport. A security guard opened the door, and Howie and I got out. We were surrounded by 3 more security guards. I guess I'll have to get used to this now. The security guard that let me and Howie out went around to the other side and opened the door for Brian and AJ. I followed Howie into the airport, not knowing where to go since I had only been in here once. That was when I moved here. We went up to the room where you wait to get on the plane. We couldn't really see anyone else since the guards were blocking our view. I looked at Brian. "Get used to it, Shannon." I quietly chuckled. "Okay." I said. "Will the people who are sitting in first class please make their way onto the aircraft now." I heard over the speakers. The only people who were going on first class was us, thank God. Who knows what it would be like without these guards and not being in first class.


When I got onto the plane, I didn't know where I was supposed to sit, so I let the guys and the security guards sit first. There were two seats I could choose from, one beside Brian, or one beside a security guard. I chose the one next to Brian. It would be weird sitting next to a security guard. I got myself situated in my seat, and leaned back. "You okay?" Brian asked me. I turned to face him. "Yeah, I think I'm okay. I'm just really wanting to get to Tampa Bay right now." I said. "We all are, hun." He replied. "Brian?" I said. "Yeah?" He turned to face me. "What.. What if we get there, and he's already gone?" Brian took my hand. He never answered. I guess it was one of those questions that has no answer. I mean, it has answers. Either you could say, "That won't happen," or "Then we tried," but he never said anything. All he did was take my hand. Maybe it was implied. I can't think straight, I'll just forget it. I laid my head back and looked at Howie and Aj, who were listening to music. Am I the only one that really cares?

The plane ride seemed like forever instead of only 6 in a half hours. I had listened to music, slept, read a book, wrote a story, and slept more, and we still had an hour to go. We don't even know if Nick is still alive..


I suddenly lost my train of thought as the captain came on over the speakers. "Welcome to Tampa Bay, Florida. It is 40 degrees here, partly cloudy. We will be landing in the next 15 minutes. Thank you." I sighed a sigh of relief. I looked at Brian, who was still asleep. Maybe I should wake him up. I tapped on his shoulder and he budged, but didn't wake up all the way. I tapped him on the head, and he woke up. Wow. How strange. "Hey, we're 15 minutes from landing." He suddenly sat up and started getting his things together. "Finally. I thought this plane ride would never end." I laughed. "Same here." I looked back at Howie and AJ. AJ was still asleep, but Howie was getting his things together. I nodded my head at Aj, and Howie knew that he should wake him up. He lightly slapped him on the arm, and he shot up awake. "What was that for?" Aj asked. "We're here, landing in 10 minutes." Aj suddenly sat upright and started getting his things together, also. Finally, we felt and heard the landing gear come out from under the plane. After a few minutes, we landed. Our security guards got up, ushered us off the plane, and we hurried to the main area to get our bags.

After we got our bags, there was a limo waiting for us. My dad must have ordered it to wait for us outside the airport. We got in, and were very restless on the way to the hospital. When we got there, I practically jumped out of the limo, and told the guys to hurry. They hurried, and we ran in to the waiting room. Our security guards tried to follow us, but it didn't really work. Some fans were already going nuts. "Oh no," I heard Brian say. We hurried to the front desk and asked for Nick Carter. The lady looked up and gave us a sad look. "I..I'm sorry, we just heard a few minutes ago that he passed away."


~~~~~~~~~~~~


OH MY GOSH. We were too late! I turned around and ran out the door, crying. I couldn't believe this. He was gone! I didn't even get to say goodbye! I can't even see him one last time! He's gone! I sat down on the curb outside of the hospital and cried. I just couldn't believe it. The love of my life, the man of my dreams, he was gone. Suddenly, I felt someone's hand on my back. I looked up, but I couldn't make out who it was. It was a girl. "Hey, it's Beej, you okay?" I wiped my eyes and said, "No, I'm not. I can't believe he's gone." She hugged me tightly. "I know, I know, neither can I. All of us can't imagine it. We feel really bad, too, because of the way we've treated him the past few years. All we ever did was fight, and now we regret it. We wanna apologize, but we can't. It's too late." I let go and looked at her. "You must feel awful." She nodded. "But you, you must feel terrible. He was the first love of your life, and you're the first girl he's actually loved for who she is and not for what she does. He never even tried to get you in the bed. He really loved you." A tear ran down my cheek. "I..I know. I really loved him, too. But I mean, you guys are his family. I was just his girlfriend. Family is so much more important, and I bet you guys were more important to him than anything." She looked down. "Actually, I really doubt that. We only saw him for about 2 weeks a month, and that was it. Then we were watching him on tv, or hearing him on the radio. He spent more time with you, the guys and your dad more than us." I sighed. "Yeah, I know, but if he had a choice, he would have gone with you guys. Believe me. He would have." We got up and walked back into the hospital. The guys were nowhere to be found, but we saw Leslie, Aaron, and Angel. They ran towards us and gave us a giant group hug. "Shannon, I'm so sorry!" Angel said. Even Aaron said sorry. Leslie just hugged me, not saying anything. She was probably too sad to say anything. Suddenly, Brian ran up to us, smiling. "How can you smile at a time like this?" I said. "He's back."

WHAT?! "How?!" I asked. "They used those shocker things, and startled his heart, and he's alive. He's on oxygen right now." I jumped up and down for joy. "Oh my gosh!" I hugged Brian and said thank you for telling me that he would be okay. If I hadn't believed him, I probably wouldn't be here right now. I would have killed myself from being so sad. But he's alive! I was so happy, I started crying again, but this time, they were tears of happiness. All of his siblings were very happy, too. "When can we see him?" Aaron asked Brian. "We can see him right now. Come on!" We followed Brian into a room where Nick was. I let his brother and sisters go first and give him a hug and talk to him. Aj came up next to me. "Aren't you going to hug him and tell him you love him, too?" I looked at him. "Not yet, I wanna wait until he gets some time with his family first. Then you guys. Then me. I can wait.." I looked down. "Are you sure?" Aj asked. "Yeah, I"m sure. After all, he only gets to see his family for a little while. I can see him anytime I want. I can wait." Aj hugged me and went on up to Nick. Brian and Howie followed him.


Angel came up to me. "Aren't you going to see him?" I looked down again. "Not..not yet. It was best for you guys to see him first, being his family and all, and then the guys, since that's his second family. I'm down the line a little ways.. I can..I can wait." She looked at me. "Shannon, you're not far down the line. He loves you, just as much as he loves us and the guys. There is no line. We're all very close to him, we're all number one in his life. Don't ever think that he doesn't love you as much as us. He does. He told me he loves you very, very much." I looked at her. "When?" No one ever told me about that. "When he came home, we were all asking him questions, and one of them was if he found someone special yet, since he is 25, I mean, come on. He's gettin' old." I laughed. "And he said, 'Yeah, I found someone. Her name's Shannon, and she's the best thing that's ever come into my life besides you guys and the boys. She's one in a million. I think I'm in love with her.' When he told us about you, we were really wanting to meet you, and we did. You're perfect for him. Trust me. And we all know you love him bunches too, so it's not like you can hide it. So, get over there and go talk to that boy. He misses you. He's probably wondering why you're standing over here talking to me instead of over there with him. So go!" She gave me a little push and I walked over to him. I looked behind me, and BJ was getting everyone to leave the room so we would have some privacy. I turned back around and looked at Nick.



"Hey." I finally said. "How are you feeling?" He looked up at me. "I'm feeling great now that you finally walked over here." He took my hand. "I missed you." "I missed you, too. Sorry I took so long to get over here. I just thought that you would want to see your family first, and then the guys, since they're like your second family, and then I would come along somewhere down the line. Then, Angel started talking to me.." He stopped me. "Shannon, Shannon, you are not farther down the line. And anyways, what's this talk about a line? There is no line. You guys are all first in my life, and I love you all the same. Don't ever think that I need my family more than you. Don't ever think that I need the guys more than you. I don't need anyone more than anyone. I'm just happy I'm alive, and that you're here. If you weren't here, I would die. If my family wasn't here, I would die. Even if the guys weren't here, I would die. That is how much I need all of you." He finally stopped. Another tear ran down my cheek. "I..I'm sorry for thinking that, Nick. I..I was just so scared I would lose you. You don't know how much you mean to me. If you died, there would be no point in me living either. I'd die without you, because I love you." He stroked my hand. "You mean the world to me, Shannon. Don't ever forget that. If you died, I wouldn't be able to live either. I would go through life wondering what I did to deserve losing you. Eventually, I would give up. That's how much I love you." "Oh, Nick, I'm so glad you're alive. I wish I could hug you, but I don't wana hurt you." "Babe, it won't hurt." I leaned down and carefully gave him a warm hug. He whispered 'I love you' in my ear. I smiled. "Now, when do you get out of this joint?" I asked. "I think later on today, since it's now 4:30 in the morning. Aren't you tired?" I suddenly did feel a little tired. "Now that you mention it, yeah, I am. I'm guessing I'll be in a hotel until later on today, then." I said. "Yeah, you better get going. I'll see you later, babe." I let go of his hand and left the room.


When I got to the waiting room, everyone was waiting for me so we could get back to a hotel and get some rest. "You okay?" Howie asked. "Yeah, I'm great. And Brian," I said turning to Brian, "Thank you so much, again." "Hey, no problem." He gave me a quick hug. We all got into the limo and drove off towards a hotel. I put my head back, thinking about today. I was so happy Nick was alive. Now I could finally say my life was close to being perfect.