"Girl if you don't start taking better of yourself, I'm going to have you committed," Erica told her best friend Bella. "You just had the flu last week it seems," Erica handed Bella a bottle of water and two Tylenol.

"I don't know what my problem is? I can count more days I've felt like death than day's I've felt good. And you know me, I can usually turn any crappy day into a cheerful BS day." I set the water down and picked my guitar back up.

"You're not having a relapse are you?" Erica asked with concern.

"NO. Just a cold."

"Well, rest and vitamin C! When do you find out who you're touring with?" Erica folded her legs under her, pushed back her blonde hair and picked up magazine that lay on the coffee table.

"Tomorrow, maybe tonight."

"Wow, I'm going to miss you so much. You better not forget about me when you're a big rock star."

"Please."

"Hey, I thought I was going to lose you when you started dating pop boy." She threw around the words as she flipped through the People magazine. Knowing who Erica was talking about, Bella's heart skipped a beat and her stomach sank.

"You never were going to lose me. Besides I was trying to hook you up with Alex."

"Hmm, yeah he's still pretty sexy. But I have Trey now." She smirked. "And you have some kick ass songs thanks to that whole Carter drama." The sinking feeling came again and once again, Bella imagined what things would be like if she hadn't screwed things up.

"Stop." Erica said in a tone that brought Bella back to planet Earth.

"What?" Bella asked innocently.

"Yeah don't give me that. Stop thinking about him."

"I screwed up."

"I know that."

"Thanks," Bella said sarcastically. Erica never was one to sugar coat things, but either was Bella.

"What do you want? The whole thing is so screwy. You two were completely head over heels for each other for two years. Then you just break up with him out of no where. You didn't cheat on him, he didn't cheat on you. You never fought, you couldn't keep your hands off each other. So what you were sick for a while and are still being treated; but Nick couldn't love you any less. Perhaps just more."

"I don't want to get into this anymore."

"It has been over a year since you broke up."

"Don't you have dinner plans with Trey?" Bella asked now annoyed.

"There you go changing topics and running away again." She stood up. "But you're right I have to go. Let me know about the tour as soon as you find out. And SLEEP! No working out, no cleaning, you don't even need to be singing or playing your guitar."

"Yes, Mom." Erica had always been the more adult friend. Bella wanted to be free and Erica often referred her to as the flower child of rock and roll.

"Love you, I'd hug you but I don't want to catch your cold. I have to paint this whole mural thing tomorrow."

"Love you. Tell Trey I said hi." Bella smiled and watched her friend disappear to the front door. Bella continued to strum on her old guitar for a little longer and after working on one song that meant the world to her, her cell phone rang next to her.

"Hello?" She answered, clearing her throat after.

"Bella Antanelli?"

"This is she."

"Hi, I'm your manager's secretary, Amy House."

"Hello, what can I do for you?"

"I have your tour dates for you and times for you to meet before leaving."

"Oh great! I was hoping I'd find out tonight." Bella tried to keep back her excitement, the whole thing was surreal to her.

"Well, you'll be starting in two weeks, Monday June first for the summer tour."

"And whom will I be touring with."

"The Backstreet Boys."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Excuse me, who did you say I was touring with?" Bella could feel her heart flutter.

"Just the biggest pop boy band ever! Sorry I have loved them since I was little. Howie D, love him! Now he's married and expecting a baby. Anyway, you need to meet next Tuesday, eight am at the Tower. You'll be given your schedule full and start planning what songs you'll be singing for the opening act."

"Th-thank you," Bella stuttered.

"Any other questions I could help you with?"

"No thank you. Is Julie busy today?" Bella asked referring to her manager.

"Out of town. She'll be back Sunday night. Did you need to leave a message?"

"No thank you," Bella decided against asking about finding another tour to join but knew she had no say for being a rookey that she was.

"Alright then. You have a good evening."

"Thanks you too," her voice trailed off and she closed her cell phone.
~*~*~*~*~
"You said WHO was our opening act?" Nick raised his voice at the long table as him and the other three band mates sat on the long table in the air conditioned room.

"Isabella Antanelli, she's an amazing singer and-"

"And we have no say?" Nick cut off their tour manager.

"Nick you'll never see her unless you want to," Brian tried to reason with his friend.

"Right." Nick rolled his eyes.

"You know you want her to succeed. You're the reason why she's in this business." A.J. told him.

"Exactly, she used me!"

"Nick, if you really have a problem with this, then we can perhaps find someone else." Ellen their manger spoke softly, hoping to calm Nick down.

"Whatever," Nick crossed his arms in front a let out a sigh.

"Nick we leave in two weeks, it's going to be hard to find someone." Brian told him.

"I said whatever. Like you said, I don't have to see her unless I want to, and I don't!" Brian, Howie and A.J. all knew how bad Bella had broken Nick's heart. The guy was ready to propose to her and she just left him, a single note that I'm sorry, the promise ring he had given her and her bags were packed up from their house in L.A.
~*~*~*~
"Karma!" Erica screeched over the phone. The next day Bella had called Erica giving her the news.

"I have to sing my songs that I wrote about HIM!"

"Well, good. They are amazing songs!"

"Erica, I can't do this."

"You can do it and you will. Or you'll just end up having another regret to add to your list." Erica knew that would be a low blow to Bella because she hatted having regrets and the only one she ever had was breaking up with Nick and not telling him the truth; whatever that be. Life was too short and she did her best to live every day as if it were her last; although she felt that it was impossible without Nick in her life.

"How about you come with me."

"B I can't. I have the museum and shows coming up."

"I know."

"I'll be coming to your home town shows okay?"

"Yeah."

"Alright I have to get back to work but you and I will be getting together to celebrate! You're going on TOUR be excited!"

"I am." Bella said trying to ignore the uneasiness she felt.

Bella sat in her own tour bus with a million different emotions flowing through her body. She was excited and blessed for the opportunity of being on tour and people hearing her music. She was nervous to perform in front of thousands but ready to take on the world. She was however not ready to take on Nick, or his brothers.

Glancing at her watch, she saw she had only a half hour ride to their first venue in Nevada. For her first sound check, well for the tour at least and her first chance of having to run into Nick. She tried to concentrate on the book she was reading to calm her down but she had her mind on seeing him.

The ride was much shorter than she would have liked and the moment the bus as parked she was ushered out and everything happened fast. Her manager was there talking a thousand words per minute, the venue was obviously empty compared to what it would be later that evening. Workers were all around, setting up the piro-tech and setting up the lighting and sound.

"Okay so you'll just do the first and last song, this show is a little smaller than the next. But we can run through them a couple of times. You were able to go through it all back in LA correct?" Julie, my manager asked.

"Yes. Hey are the Backstreet Boys here yet?"

"No, they'll do their sound check later on. You probably wont see until the show. I'll be staying for today but then I have to get back to LA after. You'll do great, you're a natural! Now, up on stage!" She smiled and pushed me to the stage. There were wires everywhere and a microphone and guitar were on a stool. Bella put the microphone into the stand and placed the guitar strap around her neck.

~*~*~*~*~The Show~*~*~*~*~

Bella paced back and forth backstage, stomach in knots and palms sweaty. "Breathe Belle, just breathe," she told herself. Her eyes were glued to the floor, afraid to get a glance out in the large audience. She didn't seem to notice A.J. when she had turned the other way to pace and ran into him.

"Oomph!" She nearly fell backwards but A.J. grasped her shoulders.

"Easy there," he steadied her and then let go.

"Sorry," she said and then looked up into A.J.'s brown eyes. "Hey," she said shyly, biting her bottom lip.

"Hi Bella, I was wondering when we'd run into each other. Didn't think we'd actually run into each other though," he smiled. "How are you?"

"Uh, well, good?" She never was good at lying, and it had been a long time since she saw A.J. Not only that but since joining the tour, although it was the first day, she felt extremely alone.

"Liar. Look, you'll be great. I know it. Just take a few breaths and pretend as though you're performing for no one but yourself."

"Thanks. Good luck to you and well, the others." She managed to pull a half smile.

"Thanks oh and Bella for the record, I don't hate you."

"I didn't-"

"Yes, you did. I gotta run but I will catch up with you after the show, alright?" A.J. pulled her in for a brief hug.

"Bella you're on!" One of the stage assistance yelled to me and once again my heart began to race. Bella closed her eyes, sucked in a deep breath and then let it out slowly before running out onto the stage. She got in the middle, microphone in her hand and began.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...there's all these cracks, crack of sunlight, a crack in the mirror, on your lips. It's the moment of sunset Friday, when our conversations twist.

"It's the fifth day of ice on a new tattoo but the ice should be on our heads. We only spun the wheel to catch ourselves, so we weren't left for death.

"And I was never looking for approval from anyone but you. And though this journey is over, I'll go back if you ask me to. I'm not dead, just floating, right between the ink of your tattoo. In the belly of the beast we turned into.

"I'm not scared of changing right beyond the cigarette and the devilish smile, you're my crack of sunlight. You can do the math a thousand ways, but you can't erase the facts. That others come and others go, but you always come back.

"I'm a winter flower underground, always thirsty for summer rain and just like the change of seasons, I know you'll be back again.

"I'm not not dead just floating, underneath the ink of my tattoo, I've tried to hide my scars from you. I'm not scared just changing. Right beyond the cigarette and the devilish smile. You're my crack of sunlight, oh. I'm not dead just yet. I'm not dead, I'm just floating. Doesn't matter where I'm going, I'll find you. I'm not scared at all.

"Underneath the cuts and bruises finally gained what no one loses, I'll find you. I will find you. I'm not dead just floating. I'm not scared just changing. You're my crack of sunlight, yeahhh." (I'm Not Dead-Pink)

As soon as Bella began singing her lyrics, it all felt natural. Just as the time Nick had her come perform during one of their shows. Despite the audience being mostly girls, screams and dancing took among the crowd.

"She sounds good," A.J. said casually leaning against the wall by Nick; found himself watching from backstage. When A.J. broke his thoughts, Nick stood up straighter and away from the stage. "Are you really going to try to avoid her for this tour Nick?" He asked keeping is eyes out on the stage.

"I hear she wrote all the songs she's singing." Nick answered back.

"Yeah. She's improved big time."

"She's lost weight." Nick said glancing back out on the stage. Bella was wearing a pair of lose fitted jeans. There was a hole in the right knee and her feet sported a pair of simple black heels. She wore a black v-neck tank top. Very simple but that was Bella. Her long dark hair were in loose curls that bounced up and down as she moved around.

"She looks hot," A.J. said smiling and ignored the glare Nick shot him.

"I'm going to go get my headset on," Nick told A.J walking away.

"This is going to be an interesting tour," A.J. chuckled to himself taking one last glance out on the stage.

A week later, the tour was now in Buffalo, New York. They had a two day break before everyone had to perform at the HSBC Arena.

It was one-thirty in the morning and Bella found herself not able to sleep. The tour had her on weird schedules and it wasn't up to her when she wanted to go to bed; it was up to her body. She grabbed her hotel room key and decided to head down to the weight room to get a work out in.

As she walked into the weight room, she was surprised to hear weight plates clinging together. She figured she'd be the only one working out this hour, she was even more surprised when she saw it was Nick. He had just sat up from the bench press when she walked in. Their eyes met each others immediately and Bella looked away.

"I was just, uh, checking it out. Bye," she started to leave until Nick called her name.

"Isabella."

"Yeah?" She asked trying to avoid the hypnotizing blue eyes. Nick only used her full name when he was serious.

"You clearly came to work out, you're wearing sneakers, wind pants and a sweatshirt and carrying a water bottle."

"Hmm, perhaps." She shrugged a little and gave a half smile.

"So work out." Nick laid back on the bench and Bella felt a pain shoot through her chest. The pain that clearly was just love lingering over. She went to the treadmill, put her iPod in her ears and got on.

Bella began to warm up slowly but after two minutes she was running at six point five miles per hour. Doing her best to keep her eyes off Nick while he worked out; her speed increased as My Chemical Romace's song "I'm not Okay" began playing.

Reaching nine miles per hour, she felt a pain shoot through her stomach and a wave of nausea hit her. She hit the emergency red button and grabbed the rail for support. Nick was doing squats when he saw Bella almost collapse on the treadmill through the mirror. He set the barbell down and made his way over to her.

"Hey are you alright?" He asked, wondering if he should put a hand on her arm. She looked up, her face in pain and arms around her stomach.

"I'm fine." She attempted to stand up right.

"Considering you were just haling ass on this thing, your face should be red and you're really pale."

"I just over did it, I ran yesterday too and-" She told Nick as she went to step of the treadmill and felt herself spinning.

"Hey easy, sit down," Nick held her arms and helped her sit down on the ground. He handed her water bottle to her and knelt down. "Do you want me to take you to see a doctor?" He asked trying to read her face.

"No." She took a sip of the water.

"You've passed out on me a couple of times a long time ago, aren't you over that?" Nick tried to crack a joke and Bella didn't smile.

"Go back to working out, I'll be fine in a minute."

"No, let me take you up to your room. I'd get my ass kicked, if you went up by yourself and something happened." Nick stood up and held out his hand. Bella was hesitant before reaching up her hand to take it. Butterflies swarm again as soon as her skin touched Nick's.

Still feeling sick to her stomach and light headed, she brought her free hand to her head. "Could we actually just sit another minute?" She asked ready to sit back down. Nick took both hands and pulled her to him. He put an arm around her waist.

"Let's get you up to your room. I think you're actually next to mine." He guided her out of the weight room and to the elevators. Once up to their rooms, Nick took her card key and stuck it in to open her door. He held the door open and she walked in and he followed to her as she sat down on the bed. The way up, they had both been quiet not saying a word to each other. Both feeling the remanence of two years ago.

"Thanks Nick." She said.

"Welcome. If you don't need anything, I guess I'll see you tomorrow maybe."

"I'm fine. Thanks." Nick nodded his head and began to turn away. "Nick?"

"Yeah?" He turned back towards her.

"I'm sorry."

"You said that in your note," he said without skipping a beat. It was a low blow to Bella but she knew she deserved it.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I was just trying to protect you." Her voice was a low whisper but the last part got Nick's attention and he came and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Protect me? What kind of excuse is that, you used me for my fame to get your name out there and a record label." At Nick's words, her eyes shot up to meet his.

"I'd never do that to you Nick. Is that what you really think I did?" Bella's voice rose.

"You left me with nothing else. But it's fine. It's old news, you're here on this tour doing your music thing and well, hopefully you last without my name attached." Nick stood up and she reached her hand to grab his arm. Nick glanced down and saw a bracelet on her hand with a medical sign. She quickly retracted her hand and stood up.

"If you ever truly knew me, you'd know enough that I'd never use or hurt you on purpose. Yes, you helped me with my music and that just is a coincidence that it all took off just as we were about to break up or when I left. But if you can think back, I didn't start to record this album or get started for six months after we broke up. If I got a deal because of you, why wouldn't have I started it sooner?"

Nick had nothing to say after Bella spoke because he knew deep down it was the truth. Blaming her for her using his fame was just easier.

"I'm tired and am going to bed. Goodnight Nick." She said sharply and walked away to the bathroom. Nick let out a sigh of frustration as he watched her disappear and then turned to walk out of her room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"This time, this place, miss-used mistakes, too long too late, who was I to make you wait? Just once chance just one breath, just in case there's just one left, 'cause you know, you know, you know...
"I love you, I have loved you all along and I miss you, been far away for far too long, I keep dreamin' you'll be with me and you'll never go, stop breathing if I don't see you anymore...." Bella sang and strummed her guitar. She saw Nick standing back stage, watching her and her eyes stayed on him. Nick couldn't tear his eyes off her as she sang her last song for the opening.

"On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance. Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand. I'd give it all, I'd give for us, give anything but I won't give up cause you know, you know, you know...
I love you, I have loved you all along. And I miss you, been far away for far too long. I keep dreamin' you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.

"So far away, so far away, been far away for far too long, so far away, so far away so far away for far too long. But you know, you know you know...

"I wanted, I wanted you to stay. 'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say, that I love you. I have loved you all along and I forgive you, been too far away for far too long. So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore, believe it, hold on to me and never let go. Keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore, believe it, hold on to me and never let go. Keep breathing, hold on to me and never let me go. Hold on to me and never let me go." (Nickelback-Far Away)

She finished strumming the last chords, said thank you into the microphone and stood up to exit the stage. She walked briskly off, and passed Nick. She stopped in front of his face and he saw the tears that ran down her cheeks and then she was gone. They hadn't talked since Nick brought her to her hotel room.

"Wow," Nick's thoughts were broken from Brian coming up to him. "You alright?" He asked Nick who was clearly upset.

"She didn't sing that song the first night."

"No." Was all Brian responded with.

"She kept her eyes on me throughout it."

"I don't know what to say. Talk to her?"

"We tried the other night. We started fighting."

"Give it some time Nicky. We have to be out there in five minutes though."

"Great," Nick shook his head knowing he wouldn't be able to focus on the show as much as he wanted.

Bella in the meanwhile went straight to her tour bus since they'd be leaving that night after the show. She showered and put herself into a pair of flannel shorts and a camisol top. She sat in the back where there were a bunch of throw pillows and she picked her cell phone up and called Erica.

"Hey girl, I've been waiting for your call!"

"I'm so sorry. It's been crazy."

"It's fine. Hey are you crying?" Erica picked up on Bella's choked up words.

"I sang 'Far Away' tonight," she admitted and hugged a pillow to her chest.

"Oh. Did Nick hear it?"

"I couldn't take my eyes off him as I sang it." The tears then began to flow again.

"Oh, baby I'm sorry. I know how many tears and long nights you spent on that song."

"We talked a little Thursday at the hotel after I alost passed out."

"You what?!" Erica yelled in the phone worried and Bella explained what happened at the weight room.

"Are you making sure you don't get sick? You should maybe go get yourself checked out, you can't over do it Bella!"

"I know I know."

"He really thinks you used him?"

"Yeah. I talked to A.J. the first night and explained to me how much I had just hurt Nick. Howie and Brian haven't talked to me yet, they're being protective of Nick."

"You still-"

"Love him." Bella cut off her best friend. "It hurts so bad still." The tears came again and Brynn could feel a headache begin to form.

"Maybe you shouldn't be on this tour. You can't get yourself this emotionally exhausted on top of physically exhausted. You'll end back up in the hospital."

"I'm in remission, I'm fine." Bella lay down and curled up in a ball. "But I am tired, I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay, well call me tomorrow. You have one more day off, correct?"

"Yeah. I'll call you. Love you."

"Love you. Get some rest."

"I'll try," Bella sighed and closed her phone; setting it next to her. Still hugging the pillow she tried to close her eyes to sleep but she couldn't get her mind off of Nick.

Pulling out her journal that was on the table from writing in it the night before she began writing.

**I knew this tour would be hard but I honestly thought I had some how managed to push away my feelings for Nick far enough that when I did see him; I wouldn't be affected. Singing "Far Away" though tonight; and having him stare at me as I completly let my heart unlock once again proved otherwise.

Who am I kidding? I never stopped loving him, I never fell out of love when I broke things off, I did it to protect him because I honestly have no idea how much longer I'll be on this planet. He needs to live his life to the fullest and his fullest is much longer than mine. He seems happy though and I don't want to take that away from him...again.

I suppose a part of me still wishes that we could be tog** Bella's thoughts were disturbed when she heard a knock on the wall above her. She turned around and her green eyes met Nick's.

"I didn't mean to bother you but I was wondering if we could talk? Perhaps for the ride to New York City?" He ran a hand through his wet hair cautiously, obviously he had showered after the show. Bella wondered what time it was, it seemed like it was just nine when she got on the bus.

"Yeah sure," she sat up and closed her journal, setting it to the side. She moved over so Nick could sit by her and she pulled a blanket over her legs.

"Were you crying?" Nick asked looking into her eyes. They must've been red still and she could feel her wet lashes every time she blinked. She only shrugged and looked away from Nick.

"What do you want to talk about?" Bella asked, holding a pillow to her chest. She often did this to feel comfort.

"Bells, I don't want to hate you." Nick said and they both jerked a little as the bus pulled out of the parking spot.

"You have every right though."

"I don't think I could ever hate you. I was too much in love with you." The word 'was' made Bella flinch a little away from Nick. "I spent so much time and energy wondering what I did to make you leave. Countless nights crying like a big baby, being miserable around the guys. Not caring about my music."

"Nick I really am sorry for hurting you."

"I know you are and from your songs, and yes I own your CD, I know they're about me."

"All of them."

"I need to know why Bella." His words were full of hurt and he looked deeper into her eyes, he had this way of looking into her soul.

"I told you. To protect you."

"FROM WHAT?!" HIs voice rose and he through his hands in the air!

"From keeping you from having a full life!"

"What are you talking about? You gave me life and I can tell that you're not the exact same and I need to know what changed." Bella looked down at her hands that once held a promise ring on her ring finger. "I wanted this tour to be easy. As soon as I heard you were coming, I was angry I'll admit. But I can't keep my eyes off you when you sing and tonight, that song..."

"I know," Bella whispered and closed her eyes briefly.

"Did you mean everything in that song?"

"Of course. I don't write meaningless songs Nick."

"Then tell me."

"Tell you what?" Her eyes met his again and his face was closer.

"That you still love me, to my face."

"I thought I did tonight."

"Tell me again."

"I love you."

"I love you," Bella told Nick, her eyes never once leaving his. She tried to read his face to see what he was feeling or thinking but got nothing. Nick sat back and against the mock couch that was on the bus. He ran both hands through his dirty blonde hair and sat in silence. Bella was afraid to speak, she wasn't sure if she should cry, if she should apologize again or if she should leave Nick to his thought. Nick finally spoke up first.

"You were never this hard to read before." He said simply, still staring in front of him into space.

"Why did you want me to tell you that?"

"Because I needed to know that what we had wasn't fake."

"It wasn't at all Nick. I could never ask for anyone better to be with. I wanted to spend forever with you."

"Then what did I do to push you away? Did I get clingy or demanding? Did I hurt you in some way?" He now looked at her.

"No, nothing like that. Please Nick. It's done, we're in the past."

"How can we put the past to the side when we still love each other." Bella was taken back and her head jerked.

"You still love me?" She asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Of course," Nick's voice was softer. "I can't forgive what you did though until I know the reason why. And it's going to be a long tour if we try to avoid each other the whole time. I just want to put everything on the table and have us try to be friends. I want to forgive you, I really do. When I look in my future, you're still a part of it in some way."

"I don't know Nick?"

"I said try. Please Bella," his eyes pleaded and he reached for her hands; taking them into his.

"Maybe within time. But I did what I felt was right and I'd do over it again if I had to."

"Okay."

"You think we really can be friends?"

"I need you in my life some way or another. No one else can put up with me," he shrugged.

"I can't believe that. You have girls falling for you right and left."

"Yeah well, when I keep comparing them to you, there is no one."

"You sound like a song."

"It's true."

"Well, I happened to bring my Guitar Hero, so how about we battle."

"I've been practicing. I'm good."

"Well, I'm on excellent now so there!" Bella laughed and stood up to set the Play Station up. Nick couldn't help but look at her long, lean but toned legs. She did look smaller over all to him, not bad but he worried that it was because it was something her manager wanted or something she did for herself. He knew how women were treated when first coming to the music scene.

They ended up playing for over an hour and once Nick realized he had no chance in winning a song he put his guitar down.

"Alright, I think that you secretly play this every single day." Nick said standing up and stretching his legs.

"Maybe," Bella shrugged and turned the console off; stifling a yawn.

"You want to go to bed? I can tell my bus to pull over so I can get off. It is two am."

"How about, we put a movie in and talk?" She asked with a half smile.

"Sounds good. What movie?"

"Hmm, Finding Nemo," she went to her movie case and pulled the movie out. Nick watched as she moved around the cramped living area of her tour bus and made himself comfortable in the dozens of throw pillows on the carpeted floor. She took a seat next to Nick and tucked her knees up to her chin. Something she used to do whenever she had a lot on her mind and wasn't secure with herself.

"Are you happy?" Nick asked breaking the silence after the movie had been on a good twenty minutes. Bella turned her face towards Nick's. She took a minute to think of how she would answer.

"For the most part yeah. My dream is finally coming true and well, I'm alive. I guess that's all I can ask for." Pulling a blanket up to her chin she then asked Nick the same question. "How about you?"


"Guess I have the same answer." He sighed and they both returned to the movie.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Before the movie was over, both Nick and Bella had fallen asleep. Bella's head rested on Nick's shoulder and and Nick lay on a large pillow.

"Excuse me Mr. Carter, Ms. Antanelli, we've arrived to your hotel." Sonny, Bella's bus driver spoke.

"Hmm?" Bella moaned a little and sat up.

"We're in New York," Nick said standing up.

"What time is it?"

"Almost noon mam, your bags have been brought up to your room."

"Thank you Sonny and it's Bella," she smiled and stood up to stretch her legs.

"You're welcome Ms. I mean Bella," he said and turned around.

"You want to go sight seeing and grab lunch?" Nick asked.

"I have an interview at three-thirty with MTV."

"Perfect, I'll pick you up at your room in forty-five minutes," Nick smiled and walked off the bus.

"What are you doing Bella?" She scolded herself and began to gather a few things to take up to the room. She's be here in New York for four nights.
~*~*~*~45 Minutes Later~*~*~*~
Bella had finished blow drying her long hair when she heard a knock on the door. She looked down on her watch and was surprised that Nick was right on time. She walked to the door,looked through the peep hole and smiled at the way Nick looked through it. She opened it up and smiled warmly, inviting Nick in while she gathered her purse and put on her shoes

"This being punctual a new thing of yours?" Bella asked light laugh.

"Eh, I guess so. You ready?" He asked shoving his hands into jean pockets. He wore camo shorts with a black tee shirt.

"Yeah," Bella told him flinging her purse over her shoulder. Nick couldn't help but look at her long legs that sported a teal pair of shorts and wore a white halter top. Nick held her door open and the two made their way out. The two made their way down the lobby, both unsure of what to say but both knew that they were being ridiculous for feeling weird around one another.

"Shouldn't we have a body guard for you?" Bella asked.

"Nah, we're fine. We'll just do everything totally normal, including taking this Taxi." Nick held open his hand to the car that was on the side of the curb. He opened her door she climbed in to the other side. Nick sat down next to her and told the driver where to go.

"You know the city well huh?"

"Yeah, it's like a second home, well I guess third if you count Florida being first and L.A. being second." He shrugged. A ten minute drive turned into taking twenty minutes because of the heavy traffic but that was New York for you. Nick paid the cab driver and climbed out offering a hand to Bella. Her hand felt soft and familiar in his and a shot of electricity went through Bella's body as she took Nick's hand.

"So where are we going? Shopping?"

"Food first. I'm starved and you have to be too." They walked a block and went into a tiny Bistro cafe.

"Hi, two today?" The hostess asked pulling out two menus.

"Please," Nick smiled.

"Right this way," the hostess lead the two to a window seat.

"Angela your server will be right with you," she smiled and walked away.

"This is nice," Bella smiled.

"It is."

"Hi, my name is Angela and I'll be your server. What can I start you off for drinks?" She asked in her Brooklyn accent.

"Could I have a water with lemon please?" Bella asked.

"And for you?" Angela looked at Nick.

"Unsweetened iced tea."

"Okay, I'll be back with those in a moment. Our specials today is the broccoli and cheese soup with a half of any our sandwiches."

"What are you going to get?" Bella asked Nick keeping her eyes on the menu to decide what she wanted.

"Probably the turkey club. It's too hot for soup."

"I know I love this time of year. But I doubt we'll get time to get to the beach." Bella told him with disappointment.

"We'll get you to the beach, don't worry. They have to give us time for that, I mean I am on this tour."

"Are we ready to order?" Angel asked setting down the two drinks.

"Go ahead," Nick told Bella.

"I'll just have the house salad please."

"What kind of dressing."

"Whatever is light. Oh and could I get an orange juice please," Bella smiled and handed her menu to the waitress.

"And for you sir?"

"The turkey club and could I get fruit on the side instead of fries."

"Absolutely. I'll get those orders in for you." She took the menus and disappeared. Bella took the wrapper off her straw and put it into ice water. She then noticed Nick stare t her.

"What?" She raised an eye brow.

"You're only eating a salad."

"Yeah and is that a crime?"

"You usually eat a salad and something." Nick pointed out a past reference.

Bella shrugged, took a sip of her water. "Not that hungry?"

"Bella you look great. I don't think I've told you that."

"Thanks Nick," she felt her cheeks flush a little. "You do too for the record."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Your management hasn't asked you lose any weight have they?

"Uh, no. Why should I?" She asked, perplexed Nick made such a comment.

"NO! Not at all!" Nick tried to clear things up. "You actually just look like you've lost weight since I last saw you and I just worry you'll get caught up in whole celeb status. I've seen it happen too many times and I know when you were in high school you struggled a little and-"

"And I'm fine Nick." She smiled and reached her hand to his over the table.

"You would tell me?" Nick asked and Bella thought for a moment.

"Well, before yesterday no. But now that we're doing this friend thing, yes."

"How much do you think you've lost?"

"I don't know maybe two or three pounds?"

"Bella? I know you and you get on a scale every day."

"I haven't in a long time actually." 'Only for the doctor appointments that are too frequent' she told herself. "Why how much does it look like I lost?"

"Fifteen maybe." Bella was shocked at how close Nick was to the truth. She was a solid 128 when her and Nick were together. She had always been tall and as an athlete she had a good amount of muscle on her. Since Nick last saw her though, she's lost most muscle and weighed 115.

"Here you go, can I get you anything else?" Angela asked bringing the two orders.

"No thanks." Bella smiled and picked up her fork. She could feel Nick's eyes on her and didn't know what else to say. "Nick please. Let's enjoy this day."

"You're right." Nick picked up half his sandwich and took a bite.

"How is it?" Bella asked.

", you want a bite?" Nick held it out in front of him. Bella leaned forward and took a small bite.

"Mmm," she smiled and took a sip of her water.

"So, I always thought you'd have more dance wit your show." Nick told her.

"Hmm, yeah me too." Bella laughed. "But I don't know, I think it's alright for my first tour."

"Did you want more dancing?" Nick asked.

"Eh kinda." Bella popped a tomato into her mouth. Truth was she couldn't have any strenuous dancing for some of her more pop songs.

"I'm sure you still could."

"I'm okay with it for now. One thing at a time. You guys look and sound amazing though. Kind of weird not having Kevin out there."

"Tell me about it. It sucks." Nick's face dropped and Bella tried to think of what to say to change topics.

"How are your sisters and Aaron?"

"Good. All doing their thing, Aaron is trying to stay out of trouble." Nick shook his head.

"He gets it from you."

"What? I don't get into trouble!"

"Nick. Please, you went through a phase. Right before you started dating Paris and then you dated her and it was worse and then-"

"You came along and saved me."

"Someone had to," Bella winked.
~*~*~*~Flash Back Three and half years ago~*~*~*~
Nick sat at the bar while his girlfriend Paris continued to flirt with another guy right in front of him. He finished his coke and rum number five, or maybe it was six and put it on the bar.

"Another," he said keeping his eyes glued on Paris. When the bartender put another drink in front of him, he picked it up without looking. Bringing the glass to his mouth, he took a sip and then looked at the bartender. "I said another," Nick raised his voice.

"The woman right there bought that for you," he said.

"Bought me a water? Who in their right mind buys water when it's free." Nick looked down the bar and saw a woman in her early twenties. She had deep brown dark hair and green eyes that stuck out from her tan skin. She wore a red dress and was twirling a straw in a glass with red liquid. He stood up and made his way down to her.

"You got my drink I see," the green eyed woman smiled looking at Nick's hand with the glass of water.

"And my attention." Nick's eye brows went together and he stumbled backwards a little.

"Let's get some air for you," she stood up, putting a hand on his arm to balance Nick out. He let her guide him to the balcony and the warm L.A. breeze felt good and he could feel himself sobering up. "Drink your water."

"I don't get it," Nick said as he drank half the glass of the tall water.

"You were sitting at the bar, ordering the same drink non-stop while a non-appreciative girlfriend was all over another guy." The green eyed girl said leaning against the rail. Nick looked at her. "I'm a people watcher, especially when this club thing isn't really me. I came for a friends birthday."

"So you stalked."

"I wouldn't say that, even though I do know who you are." She shrugged and turned around to face the ocean. "I just saw that you were dealing with something or should I say not dealing. I'm sure this is what you did last night as well, since it's Saturday." Nick couldn't keep his eyes off this woman. She was dead on about Nick and he was intrigued. "You're already feeling shitty because of girlfriend, you don't need to feel shitty in the morning because of something stupid you did; like drink yourself to oblivion. It will just be a continue circle."

"Are you some sort of shrink."

"No, just your Guardian Angel," she winked at Nick. "Now, tell me, do you love her?"

"We've been together for a few months now."

"Do you love her though?" Nick sighed and to face out to the ocean himself.

"I don't know what I'm doing. The band is on hold, Kevin wants to leave, I just got a DUI a month ago, my little brother is following in my footsteps and I'm a just a fuck up. Excuse my language."

"Whens the last time you did something for you?"

"Tonight, I bought those drinks."

"You bought those drinks for her. So you wouldn't interrupt whatever she was doing, to keep you from feeling."

"You're right."

"Of course I am. I am an Angel," she smiled.

"What's your name?"

"Bella."

"I'm Nick."

"Carter, I know," she shook his out stretched hand. "I'm a bit of a fan."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, but don't let your head swell because you guys need a new record soon if you're going to keep me around as a fan."

"I know," Nick sighed again.

"I should go find the birthday girl. But hey Nick, do something for yourself." She stood up from her leaning position. "You only get one body and heart; take care of yourself."

"Hey could I get your number?"

"Maybe. I'll be at Mirror's tomorrow."

"The place where they have live music."

"Yeah. Seven o'clock. I'd sober up so you don't feel like death." She squeezed his shoulder and pecked his cheek.
~*~**~*~*~Present~*~*~*~*~*~
"Nick?" Bella called out.

"Huh? What's that?" Nick asked shaking his head.

"You alright?"

"I was remembering," he said almost with a sadness in his tone.

"When we met?"

"Yeah. You sounded beautiful that night at Mirror's."

"I still can't believe I got you to come."

"Me neither. I was in a pretty dark place at that point of my life." Nick said finishing the last bite of his sandwich. Bella's plate was nearly empty and she pulled out a bottle from her purse. She dumped two pills into her palm, tossed them into her mouth and drank her orange juice.

"But you turned out alright," she smiled and took another sip of her almost empty glass of juice.

"Because of you. What did you just take?"

"Just some vitamins," she lied, sort of.

"You drink a lot of orange juice I've noticed on this tour."

"Have to keep my immune system up. You ready to walk around the city?"

"Yeah," Nick went to reach for the check but Bella picked it up before he did. "What are you doing?"

"Least I can do," she half smiled and placed a twenty in and the two stood up.

"What's it like opening up for the Backstreet Boys?" The young girl asked.

"Intimidating," Bella laughed. "You have thousands of girls who are die hard fans and know what to expect from their shows. I'm still learning the ropes of what goes on for shows and I try to pump up the crowd as much as I can for the guys. But I'm just trying to be me, that's all I can ever be."

"Staying true to yourself is what will give you the respect you deserve from your fans. Now, you write all of your songs and play the guitar and even a little piano. Is there anything you can't do?"

"Swim." Bella laughed.

"I hear you love the beach."

"Oh I do! But I never go past the shore line," she laughed.

"Do you mind taking a few questions from some fans?"

"I would love that!" Bella said bubbly.

"We have Susie from Hobokan, New Jersey on the line. Hi Susie."

"Hi! Hi Bella I love your songs! Such girl power!"

"Thanks," Bella laughed lightly and smiled. "What's your question for me?"

"Well, I know that you dated Nick Carter for a while. Are you two going to get back together now that you're on tour?"

Bella wasn't shocked from the question, she had been mentally preparing herself for it. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Nick and I still remain good friends today. We had something special but our timing was wrong and it's even worse now. But who knows, I guess anything could happen. Thanks for calling."

"I think you two are great for each other. I hope everything works out!" Susie said and then it went to a few more . A couple girls asked more about Nick, one asked where she got ideas to write some of her songs, one guy asked her out on a date and Bella was more than ready to end her day.

"We have just one more caller. Dan from Manhattan."

"Hi Dan," Bella smiled politely.

"Hello Isabella," Dan's deep voice came over the intercom. His voice sent chills up and down Bella's arms.

"What's your question for Bella Dan?" The interview asked.

"What's your favorite flower?"

"That's an interesting question. I'd have to say Orchid's."

"Mmm, are they your favorite smell?"

"Yes, I always have candles of them lit up to relax me."

"Great question Dan. Will you be at the show tomorrow night to see Bella perform a long with the Backstreet Boys?"

"I will be. I have first row, center seats. I am looking forward to seeing Isabella move on stage. See you tomorrow Bella," Dan's voice echoed and he hung up the phone.

"Well, that's it for today. Thank you Bella for taking time from your busy schedule to spend time here at our studios."

"Thank you," Bella shook her hand, and she couldn't shake a strange feeling she had all over her body.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bella was in her dressing room, listening to her iPod preparing herself for the show she was about to start in fifteen minutes. It helped keep out the screaming for the Backstreet Boys and allowed her to focus on her own music. There was a knock on the door and Nick then walked in. He saw Bella sitting on a chair, her eyes closed, iPod in her ears. He walked in front of her and knelt down. He watched as she moved her lips to the music and sang a little. He couldn't help but smile.
Bella could feel a presence around her and she opened her eyes. She jumped a little when she saw Nick kneeling two feet away from her holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Sorry, didn't meant to scare you."

"It's fine," she smiled. "Nick?" She raised an eye brow looking at the flowers.

"I'd like to say they're from me, but they're not. Even though I know they're your favorite kind of flowers." He handed her the Orchids and sat on the arm rest of the chair. "Who are they from?"

Bella pulled out a small card and opened it.

"See you in my dreams Isabella." She read out loud and her eye brows burrowed together.

"What?" Nick took the card and read it.

"It's not from you Nick?"

"No, I don't ever call you Isabella unless I'm mad at you. I know you hate it."

"I know."

"Creepy. Okay, you have to get moving, after party tonight?"

"Where at?"

"A club."

"Maybe," she shrugged and stood up. She put the flowers on a table and walked out to get to backstage with Nick.

"Nervous?"

"Always."

"You'll do great," Nick kissed her cheek.

"As high as the moon, so high were my spirits when you sang out my name.
And coming from you it was enough to hear it, oh, it rang like the bells did today.
But even the sturdiest ground, can shift and can tremble and let us fall down.
Kindly unspoken, you show your emotion.
And silence speaks louder than words, it's Lucky I'm clever,
'Cause if I didn't know better, I'd believe only that which I'd heard.

In the days of my folly, I followed your lead, Did what Simon Says to do, But I won't let melancholy play for fool. Oh, no I'm on my way somewhere new.
And as far as your lack of something to say.
Well, to tell me goodbye there was no better way.

Kindly unspoken you show your emotion and silence speaks louder than words.
It's lucky I'm clever, If I didn't know better,
I'd believe only that which I'd heard.

So don't keep me up till the dawn, with words that'll keep leading me on.
I know much better than to wait for an answer from you.

Kindly unspoken, you show your emotion.
And silence speaks louder than words.
Its lucky I'm clever.
If I didn't know better, I'd believe only that which I heard."
-Kate Voegele "Kindly Unspoken

"She didn't write that song bot you." Brian came up to Nick listening the words.

"Kind of,it's backwards. It's about how she treated me..."

"Nick, be careful. She doesn't seem sturdy."

"I know she doesn't. She's changed but I just don't know how yet."

"Don't be blinded by the past of what you two were."

"I know Brian, I know."
~*~*~*~*~*After the show*~*~*~*~*~
Bella was backstage, showered and changed from her performance and was waiting with the guys for the meet and greet with fans. There were to be twenty fans coming to take pictures and autographs. Bella assumed they'd all be there to meet the Backstreet Boys but were surprised when a handful of girls had come up to her with her CD to sign it.

"And I just love 'Far Away', I can totally relate!" A sixteen year old rambled on as she waited for her CD to be signed. Bella smiled and thanked while taking pictures.

Most of the left over fans were by the guys now and she was sitting back taking on the scene. Nick had an arm around a girl, posing for a picture. Brian was holding up bunny ears behind Nick's head and sabotaging the shot.

"Isabella?" A deep voice broke her thoughts and she turned around.

"Hi there," she smiled. "Bella actually," she held out her hand to shake the tall man's hand. He had built arms, was about six, two and dark hair. He took her hand and kissed it softly.

"Dan," he said. "I believe we spoke earlier."

"Oh, on MTV right?" She asked and shook the uneasiness she felt when he kissed her hand.

"Correct. May I say how stunning you are up close?"

"Thank you," she smiled being polite. "Did you like your flowers?"

"Those were from you? The Orchids I received tonight?"

"Yes, pink and white. I thought they would compliment your skin lovely," he ran his hadn upon her cheek and she couldn't help but pull away.

"It was very sweet of you."

"Do you mind getting a picture with me?" He asked.

"Not at all, that's what this is all about," she watched Dan reach into the inside of his leather coat. Her eyes darted over to the guys and met Nick's eyes. He had had a look of disapproval on his face and tried to read Bella's face. He walked over to where she was, talking to the stranger.

"You alright?" Nick whispered in Bella's ears, sending goosebumps on her neck. She closed her eyes taking in the feeling and then looked at Nick.

"I'm fine, Nick this is Dan. He's the one who sent the flowers. Could you take our picture please?"

Dan handed him the camera and Nick didn't take his eyes off of Dan's. They were the same height and it seemed as though they were having a stare down.

Dan put an arm around Bella and held her close to him. She could smell his heavy cologne and it was almost too much. "One more please," Dan asked.

"One-two-three," Nick took the picture just as Dan was looking down at Bella.

"Thank you," Bella pulled away.

"It was very nice to meet you Dan," she smiled.

"May I have a hug?" He asked.

"Sure," he took a step forward, and wrapped his long arms around her petite frame and inhaled her hair. Nick caught this and it took everything he had in him not to punch the guy right there. Dan looked up at Nick before letting go of Bella with a smug face and then pulled away.

She didn't notice her phone had been slipped from her back pocket and put up his large sleeve.

"Good-bye Isabella, I'll be sure to see another show soon," he smiled and turned away.

"What a creep," Nick said.

"Nick," Bella playfully slapped his arm. "He's just a fan."

"A creepy fan Bella. You need a body guard near you during these things."

"Please Nick," she waved him off and walked over to grab an orange juice from a barrel of drinks.

"I'm serious."

"It's sweet Nick but the guy was just a lonely fan. I'll never see him again unless we do another show here and he gets another backstage pass."

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"Because I had to deal with your stubbornness for two years," she winked taking a sip of her juice.

"Well, are you going to come clubbing? It is New York City! And I haven't been in a long time."

"Nick I don't know, I have-"

"Nothing to do tomorrow. I already checked," he said smugly.

"Ugh fine. We're going back to the hotel first right?"

"Of course. See, you can't say no to me."

"I can too."

"Right," he laughed. Bella reached for her back pocket.

"Damn!" She said looking around.

"What's wrong?"

"My phone is gone. I must've dropped it," she said looking around the ground.

"Where were you before back here?"

"My dressing room, and backstage to see you guys finish up."

"Well, don't freak out. It's just a phone."

"Yeah with everything in it. Dates, phone numbers, addresses." She walked back where her dressing room was and searched the now cleaned area. Her things were put back on a bus with all of costumes.

"I don't see it," Nick said. "Let's try backstage." He lead the way out and they made their way through the crew who were putting things away.

After looking for fifteen minutes and getting other's to help; Bella gave up.

"Did you try calling it?" A.J. asked.

"Uh no, why didn't we think of that?" Bella asked and Nick took his phone out. He found Bella's contact and hit send to call her. It rang a couple of times and then someone answered.

"Hello?"

"Who is this?" Nick asked and Bella moved closer to Nick confused. "Oh, hi Jerry. It's Nick. You have Bella's phone. Where did you get? Oh, I see. Okay yeah bring it to the bus please. Thanks. Bye." Nick hung up. "Someone handed Jerry the phone on the way out and left. They said they found it on the ground."

"Thank God, thanks," Bella smiled.

"Great now let's go so we can go out on our one free night here!" A.J. said leading to the bus.

"See I told you that you would have fun," Nick said as they made their way from the dance floor to the bar. He ordered two more drinks and leaned against the bar.

"I knew I'd have fun, I just don't want to screw up with this tour."

"Bella, its okay to go out. It's part of the job description. And you're already drunk off two drinks." He laughed.

"Am not!" Bella put her hands on her hips.

"I remember when you used to be able to almost out drink me. But I guess after starving yourself for a while will make you a light weight." Bella's eye brow lifted as she shot a glare at Nick. "I was kidding Bella," he handed her the drink.

"Whatever Nick," she took the drink and made her way to the bathroom ignoring Nick call her name out. She went into the bathroom where there were a few girls touching up their make up. She opened her purse to check her phone and saw she had a text from a number she didn't know.

::Where R U?::

::It's Brian. Nick is not answering phone.:: Brian? He hadn't spoken more than two words to her since the tour started.

::Club Float:: Bella texted back and put her phone back in the purse. She took out her lip gloss and applied another coat over her lips, tossed around her curls a little and glanced in the mirror before heading out. Pushing her way back to the bar, she ran into A.J.

"Hey darling, there you are." He said. "Let's dance." He pulled her arm over to the dance floor.

"Brian is on his way I think, he just sent me a text. I didn't even know he had my number." She told A.J. in his ear as they moved their body to the techno music.

"Brian? Doubt it. He doesn't come out. Not his thing."

"That's what I thought but see," she pulled out her phone and showed A.J. the text. A.J. then took his phone out and looked up Brian's number.

"That's not Brian Doll Face."

"I don't know any other Brian's? Brian's that know Nick either."

"No idea. Dance!" A.J. pulled her to him tight and began dancing again to the music. After a few songs, someone tapped Bella's shoulder.

"Let me cut in," he told AJ who only nodded and stepped away.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked annoyed finishing her drink.

"Dancing with you. Look I'm sorry for the comment earlier."

"Nick, there are things you don't know about me and it's not fair for you to judge me."

"I know. I can see things have changed. But I want to be there in your life and know."

"Nick, I just want to dance tonight. No more talking," she put her hand on his cheek.

"Get you another drink?" He looked down at her empty glass.

"Please," she smiled and Nick put an arm around her as they walked to the bar.

"Stole blueberry with vodka and gin and tonic," Nick ordered. He watched Bella sway to the music, the tiny black shorts looked amazing and her legs looked even longer with the black pumps she had on. She wore a silver tank top that drooped over her shoulders and her hair was loose.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom, stay right here?"

"Yup," she smiled and moved closer to the bar with the drinks. She picked hers up and began sipping it. She continued to sway to the music and then someone bumped into her, causing her to drop her drink.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry!" The man said bending down to pick up the now empty glass. When he stood up Bella realized she knew the stranger that had ran into her.

"Dan?" She asked.

"Isabella, what a surprise seeing you here. Let me get you another drink. Was that stole blueberry and cranberry I smell?"

"It was, but that's not necessary."

"Please," he said and ordered another drink.

"Well, thank you." She said and looked around searching for Nick.

"Are you alone?"

"Oh, no. I'm here with A.J. and Nick."

"They must be crazy to leave you by yourself." Bella was still searching for Nick when Dan pulled a small packet from his sleeve and dumped a white powder into her drink. He stirred it around and handed it to Bella. "Here you are," he smiled.

"Thank you." She took a sip.

"Would you care to dance?"

"Um," she bit her lower lip. "Thanks but Nick will be back any second."

"Are you two together again?"

"Well, no but we did come here together."

"I see." Dan took a sip from his clear drink. "You look beautiful tonight Isabella."

"Thanks," she smiled. "Are you here with friends?"

"They're around somewhere." He said laughing lightly.

"Bella?" Nick said as he walked up to the bar.

"Nick. Look who I ran into, literally!" She laughed.

"Dan right?" Nick asked with cautiousness and moved closer to Bella.

"Right, nice to see you again Nick," he held out his hand. Nick stared at it for a moment before taking it.

"You ready to go dance Bella?"Nick asked picking up his drink.

"Yeah. Nice seeing you again Dan," Bella smiled and walked away with Nick.

"What were you doing talking to him?" Nick asked angrily as they walked to the dance floor.

"He ran into me, dumped my drink and got me a new one. I was just being polite Nick while I waited for you right there! Relax." They started dancing to Lady GaGa's "Just Dance." Five songs later and Bella's drink almost empty she began to feel like she was loosing control over her body. The room spun a little and she felt extremely hot.

"You're wasted," Nick laughed as he caught Bella as she lost her balance again.

"Just a lil," she slurred holding up her index finger with thumb. "I'm gonna go over there and go to the bathroom." She started to walk away.

"Hold it, bathroom is that way," he took her wrist and guided her. "I'll take you," he laughed again.

"This is your fault," Bella said leaning on Nick.

"That you're drunk?"

"Yes."

"Maybe. But you needed it."

"I think I need water. Can you go get me some. There's a line."

"How about I wait first."

"By the time you just order water and come back, I'll still be in line."

"You won't leave this area?"

"No. I promise Nicky," she tousled his hair. Nick gave her a warning glance then headed off to the bar. On his way he ran into A.J.

"There you are, I was dancing with this hottie Nick. You'd be proud."

"Nice. Can you go to the women's rest room and wait for Bella. She's completely wasted."

"Yeah sure. Where you going?"

"Getting her some water then I think we should go, it's already four am. Bar closes in a half hour."

"Oh boy, alright." A.J. told him and headed to the bathroom. He didn't see Bella in line so he assumed that she was in the bathroom.
~*~*~*~*~
When Nick left Bella, she leaned against the wall waiting for her turn to use the bathroom. She just wanted to sleep and couldn't ever remember feeling this way from having a few drinks. Yes, she as a lightweight now but this was different.

"Isabella?" Her name was called and she looked around to see who was calling her. "Isabella, are you alright?"

"Dan?"

"Yeah sweetheart, are you alright?"

"I don't feel great."

"How about I take you to get some air out in the balcony."

"I just want to splash water on my face and I'm waiting for Nick."

"He's left you again I see. There's a fountain out here you can splash your face with." Dan took her arm and pulled her up to him. She fell into his arms and he put his arm around her.

"I have to come back for Nick," she told Dan.

"Of course, I'll take you outside and then come find him." He lead her away from the bathroom.
~*~*~*~
"She still in there?" Nick asked walking up to A.J.

"I guess so, she hasn't come out."

"You saw her go in?" Nick asked.

"No. But I figured she was already in there." A.J. explained. The two waited another couple of minutes and after five girls came out Nick walked up to the lady who ran the bathroom.

"Excuse me, can you ask for a Bella Antanelli please," he told the woman who sat on the stool.

"Sure thing," she stood up and knock on the three stalls. "Bella, Bella Antanelli?" Nick heard three different no's and then began to panic.

"She's not in there," he told A.J.

"I'll go look around here, you go towards the back. Maybe she went outside."

"Okay," Nick's heart raced and he had a sickening feeling in his stomach. He walked briskly searching faces.
~*~*~*
"Where are we?" Bella asked Dan as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

"Outside," he told her. It was the truth, he had brought her outside, but not to the balcony. They were outside of the club.

"Nick?" She moaned.

"He's not here. I've got you no worries," he brought his lips to Bella's red ones and pressed down hard. Bella wanted to scream, to run but her body wouldn't let her.

"You put something in my drink," she told him as he pulled away.

"Just a little muscle relaxer. But I hurry because you're not going to be able to move in another five minutes. My car is right around the corner, I'll take care of you, I promise." Bella fumbled around in her pocket and held down the one. It would connect to Nick's phone and hopefully he'd hear something. She let her knees collapse and tried to look around to see if there was anyone around them.

"Oh boy, come on sweetheart. Best get you to bed."

"Noo," she tried to yell but it came out as a whisper. As Dan knelt down to pick her up, she used all her strength and punched his groin.
~*~*~*~
As Nick searched around, his phone vibrated in his hand. Looking at the number, he let out a sigh of relief and answered. "Bella where are you?" He waited for a minute and then said her name again. "Isabella, this isn't funny!" He pressed his ear hard into the phone and waited. He could hear sirens and car horns beep in the background. Nick then picked up his pace and ran to the exit to get outside. He tried to hear more but there was nothing.
When Nick got outside, he looked left and right wondering which way to go. A few stragglers lingered around outside. Nick used his gut intuition and went right towards the back parking lot, he rounded an old building and then saw a man pulling up a woman from the ground. She looked to be lifeless and Nick saw the dark curls.

"LET HER GO!" He yelled and was no full speed, it only took a minute to reach the end of the ally and he punched the man in the face. Bella fell to the ground and Nick took another swing. "You son of a bitch!" He roared but Dan was quicker, punched Nick in the stomach and ran off.

Ignoring the pain, he moved closer to Bella lying on the ground. "Baby you're alright," he told her. All of his boyfriend instincts coming into play and gently pushed a curl away from her face. Her lip gloss was smeared on her face, but her clothes seemed intact. Nick dialed 911 and explained where he was. By this time there was a small crowd around Nick who hoovered over Bella. After speaking to the operator Nick sent A.J. a text telling him where he was.

"Bella speak to me, let me know you're with me," he took her hand. Bella let out a soft moan and turned her head a little.

"What the hell happened?" A.J. asked pushing through the crowd, there were now two bouncers and two cops. Nick was explaining who Dan was and what he had seen.

A few minutes later and Ambulance rounded the corner with the sirens on and two EMT's came out with a stretcher. Nick watched as the took her stats, put a blood pressure cuff on her and checked her pulse.

"Let's get an O2 on her, she has a low BP. Looks like a contusion to the head."

"I'll get the neck brace on," the other one spoke and Nick only watched,palms pressed into his forehead.

"Does she have any medical history we should know?" One asked as he wrote things down on a clipboard. Nick thought long and hard trying to come up with something.

"I-I dont think so. No."

"How many drinks did she have?"

"Four."

"Any medication?"

"No, I don't know. Is she going to be okay?"

"We'll know more when we get to the hospital. Are you her boyfriend?"

"Yes," Nick lied. Knowing they wouldn't let him go with them otherwise.

"I'll let everyone know what's going on," A.J. said patting Nick on the shoulder. Nick nodded and followed as the pushed the gurney to the ambulances and loaded her on.

Nick paced back and forth in the waiting room. It had been over an hour since he arrived to the hospital. He was now completely sober and exhausted.

"Isabella Antanelli?" A Doctor came out and Nick turned his attention to the doctor.

"How is she?" Nick asked.

"She's going to be just fine. She's sleeping now. Isabella's toxins came back and it shows she had a good amount of Rohypnol in her system."

"That bastard slipped something in her. She's going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine. I doubt she'll remember anything, which may be better. We are just trying to get her hydrated and then she can go home an a couple hours. She did hit her head, a slight concussion, nothing I'd worry about. You can go see her, room 12 B."

"Thank you," Nick shook his hand and called A.J. to let him know what was going on. A car was being sent to the hospital for Nick and Bella to bring them to the hotel. Nick made his way to the hall where Bella was, found her room. He opened it up and walked quietly to her bed. A single IV was attached to her left arm and an ice pack was on her head.

"Hey you, I'm here," he gently kissed her cheek. "You just sleep some more." He took her hand into his and pulled the chair closer and took a seat.

As tired as he was, Nick kept his eyes on Bella. He knew she hated hospitals and when she woke up, she wasn't going to be happy. Two hours passed and Bella began to make a few murmuring noises.

"Bells?" Nick said softly leaning forward. "Bella, you're alright. It's Nick," he thumbed her cheek and her eyes fluttered open.

"Where are we?" She asked looking around.

"Baby, we're in the hospital. You're okay. Someone slipped a drug into your drink and we had to get you hydrated." Her eyes closed taking it in. She brought her hand up to her head and pulled off the ice pack. "You fell and it your head apparently. How do you feel?"

"Weak," her eyes fought to stay open. "I want to get out of here," she closed her eyes and a single tear dropped down.

"Shh, I'll get you out." He thumbed away the tear and kissed her forehead. Nick pushed the call button and a minute later a nurse came in.

"How she doing?" The nurse asked checking her stats.

"She wants to go home," Bella spoke to herself.

"Who doesn't honey. I'll just get your blood pressure and if it's normal you can leave." Bella nodded and closed her eyes. The cuff tightened around her arm and then released. "Okay, let's take this IV out," the nurse put the stethoscope around her neck and began to take out the IV from her arm.

"Here are the release papers and if you have any problems, contact your doctor or come back in, " she smiled. "Now,you're going to be pretty weak so I'll bring in a chair while you fill this out." She handed Bella a pen and clipboard.

"Here let me help you sit up," Nick put an arm behind her back and helped her to the up right position.

"Ugh," Bella groaned bringing her hand to her head. She sat back and let her head fall onto a pillow.

"Too much?" Nick asked concerned. Bella nodded. "Maybe we should stay a couple more hours."

"I want to be in a somewhat normal bed." She sat up a little bit and signed her name on two sheets. "Can you help me get my clothes on Nick?"

"Yeah," Nick picked up a bag that was on the floor with her clothes. He pulled back the sheets and slowly slid up her black shorts. Bella pulled the rest up and buttoned and zipped them. She then took her arms ouf of the hospital gown and kept her front covered. Nick put her shirt over head a she slipped her arms through the two holes. "You want your shoes?" Nick asked.

"No," Bella leaned back and the nurse knocked on the door to come in. She pushed a wheel chair in.

"You're looking better already, alright stand up slow," she held one arm of Bella's and Nick held the other as they eased her down into the chair. Bella picked up her feet and set them on the rests and Nick gathered the bag with her purse, shoes and bra in it. He followed the nurse out to where a car was waiting for Nick.

"There you go. Take care," the nurse smiled and Nick helped Bella stand up. They walked to the car, Nick could feel most of Bella's weight leaning on him and he was worried if it was too soon to leave. He helped her into the back seat then climbed in and closed the door. The driver told them he'd get them to the hotel in fifteen minutes. The sun was already up, it was eight am. Bella curled herself into a ball and lay her head on Nick's lap. He gently stroked her hair and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

As promised, the car pulled up the hotel and opened the door for Nick. He pulled Bella to his lap and slid out holding her. Her head rested on his shoulder now and he walked towards the hotel doors. The driver opened the door, Nick nodded his head and went to the elevator. He ignored any looks and assumptions he was getting at that moment; he wanted to get Bella to bed.

Going to the sixth floor, Nick walked Bella to his room since he had his key out already and put it into the door. He gently lay Bella on his bed and pulled a sheet over her sleeping body. Nick then took a shower and brushed his teeth before climbing in bed next to Bella. He lay on the farthest side from her and let out a sigh. His room was thankfully very dark for the thick curtains and he closed his eyes.

~*~*~*~
Nick woke up to his cell phone buzzing every five seconds. He glanced at the clock at it was four pm. Bella was snuggled up to Nick's chest, her arm around his body and he could feel her chest rise up and down slowly. She stirred a little and then opened her eyes.

"Hey," Nick whispered.

"Hey," she whispered back.

"You feel alright?"

"A little. Kinda shaky."

"We should get some food in you. It's a little after four."

"In the morning?"

"Afternoon hon. Come on, I'll walk you to your room to shower and we'll order room service." Nick stood up, gathered his phone, wallet and room key and shoved them into his pocket. Bella was sitting up, her legs dangling over the bed.

"Nick, was it Dan?"

"Yeah."

"I should've listened to you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You did nothing wrong." Nick took her hands into his and pulled her to her feet. He wrapped his arms around her body and she welcomed the warmth. As Nick was about to let go, she squeezed tighter.

"Not yet," she whispered, her face buried in his chest. Nick held onto tighter, kissed the top of her head and gently rocked back and forth.

"I can feel you shaking, come on," he pulled away just enough so they could both walk out of the room and down the hall to her room. Nick put her key card in and walked in.

"You''ll stay?" She asked before walking into the bathroom.

"Not leaving." He smiled. Bella nodded and walked into the bathroom. Nick noticed how she left the door slightly ajar and heard the shower turn on. He pulled out his still vibrating phone. He had ten missed calls, fifteen text messages and seven voice mails.

He decided to call Brian first.

"It's about time," Brian said into the phone.

"We just woke up Bri."

"A.J. told me what happened. You two alright?"

"Yeah. She's kind of shook up though. I think I'm going to stay the day with her."

"You mean night. Anything we can do?"

"No. How mad is management?"

"Our management is fine, hers ....that's a different story. It will probably be in the press Monday."

"Oh well, she's safe and okay; that's all that matters."

"I know Nick. Are you sure you're okay?"

"It was scary to see her like that Brian. I should've known she wasn't just drunk. I shouldn't have left her, especially when I knew he was there."

"Don't beat yourself up man. You saved her. There's still something there, isn't there?"

"I think so. I don't know."

"Just be careful. She's certainly not the same. I'm a good people reader."

"I know but when we went to bed this morning, it just all felt natural ya know? Like we never broke up."

"Well, we have a show tomorrow so make sure you're good and rested. We have sound check at one."

"Okay. Later B."

"See ya Nick." Nick hung up the phone and picked up the hotel phone to call up room service.

In the shower, Bella scrubbed her body hard. She hated the fact that almost everything after arriving at the club had been erased and couldn't recollect anything. She also didn't know what to do about the feelings she had for Nick. Bella couldn't bare to hurt him again but missed him terribly and he's been nothing but great to her; despite the fact she broke his heart.

After a good ten minutes, Bella stepped out of the shower and grabbed a large white towel to dry off. Wrapping the towel around her body tight, she brushed her teeth, ran her brush through her hair and then walked out to the room.

"Hey you," Nick smiled lying on the bed, arms folded behind his head, feet crossed and watching TV.

"Hi," she bit her lower lip feeling slightly self-conscious. Nick picked up on it and rolled his eyes with a slight chuckle. "What?" She asked digging through her suitcase.

"Like I haven't seen you with less on," he said not taking his eyes off the screen.

"True but I was in better shape," she shrugged her shoulders, took the clothes and went back into the bathroom.

"Bella, you look great. A little thin but you still have a smoking hot body." Nick called out and Bella had a smile on her face as she got dressed. A minute later she re-appeared from the bathroom wearing a black pair of yoga pants and a tank top.

"Should we call for some food?"

"Done. Should be up in ten minutes or so." Bella nodded and took a seat on the other side of Nick and watched the TV. "You okay?" Nick asked noticing her quietness.

"Uhh hmm, yeah." She gave Nick his favorite half grin smile. "A little hungry, a little angry with myself. Thanks for taking care of me Nick." She turned and faced him.

"Bells, you did nothing wrong. And you know I'll always be there, even if we're not together." Nick's voice trailed off as he said the last part. Bella looked him over and was surprised how hurt he still was over their breakup. She heard he took it hard but would've assumed he would've moved on to someone much better than her by this point.

"I want to be here for you too Nick," she crawled next to Nick and lay her head on his chest. With instinct, Nick put his arms around her and closed his eyes.

“Tell me this doesn’t feel right,” he sighed. As he said those words, Bella closed her eyes, inhaling Nick’s scent. “You know I’m right.”

“Nick I” at that moment the door knocked.

“Room service,” a man called and Nick got up. Bella ran her hands through her wet hair and sighed again. Nick then came in with a tray of food and placed it on the bed.

“Hope you’re hungry. Pancakes, fruit, and orange juice since you drink it by the gallon I’ve noticed,” he smiled.

“That’s really sweet Nick. Thank you.” She then stood up and went to her purse to get her medicine. The orange juice reminded her that she hadn’t yet taken it. Tapping two pills into her palm, she closed the bottle and picked up a glass of juice to swallow her pills.

“You take those vitamins religiously huh? I don’t remember you being all about them before.”

“Well, I’m on tour now Nick. I can’t afford to be sick.”

“True. Hey I’m sorry about earlier. You have your reasons, and I respect them.”

“Thank you,” she said sitting back on the bed by Nick who was already digging in. “When and if the time is right, I can hopefully explain it all to you.”

“That sounded great guys, okay Bella you’re up.” The sound manager called, flipping through pages on his clipboard.

“You feel up to this?” Nick asked Bella taking a sip from his water bottle.

“I told you, I feel completely fine today. That sleep last night helped.” She smiled. “What song should I do first?”

Nick starred into her eyes, making sure that she was telling the truth. After a moment he sighed and then smiled. “You Found Me.”

“Really? That song is kinda- ”

“The truth?” Nick pointed out and nodded his head toward to the stage. Bella rolled her eyes, told the pianist which song she was doing and picked up the microphone.

“I found God on the corner of first and Amistad, where the West was all but won. All alone, smoking his last cigarette, said, “Where you been?” He said, “Ask anything.”

“Where were you when everything was falling apart? All my days were spent by the telephone, that never rang and all I needed was a call, that never came. To the corner of first and Amistad.”

“Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me, lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded. Why’d you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late, you found me, you found me.”

~*~*~Performing at the Show~*~*~

“But in the end everyone ends up alone. Losing her, the only one who’s ever alone. Losing her, the oly one who’s ever known. Who I am, who I’m not and who I wanna be no way to know long she will be next to me…”

“Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me. Lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded. Why’d you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late, you found me, you found me!” -The Fray “You Found Me” Bella sang her heart during the song she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Nick leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest in his costume and a smile on his face.

“You’ve still got it bad,” Howie told Nick.

“How can I not, when I never let go.”

“Just be careful man.”

“Why does everyone keep telling me to be careful?”

“She broke your heart once Nick, don’t let her do it again.

“People change.”

“Which she obviously has and I don’t want you to get hurt again. I mean some of these songs, I don’t understand like this last one.”

“I think it’s about how I should’ve made more of an attempt to get her back. You know when she left, I was just so angry and hurt, I didn’t call, or write or anything to see why she left me. I feel like there is a reason but she’s afraid to tell me.”

“You really think that’s it?”

“We weren’t together for two years for me not to know anything. I’ll get her back and make things right.” Nick said and then walked away. Howie only hoped that Nick knew what he was doing.

The next couple of weeks through the tour had been running smooth. Nick and Bella have become better friends than they were while dating and the guys still worried that Bella would hurt Nick once again. They were in Orlando, Florida where they would be having two concerts.

Bella was on her bed in her hotel room since it was raining out, playing her guitar. She was interrupted when she heard a knock on her door. Setting her guitar down, she stood up and walked over peeking into the peep hole. A smile crossed her lips and she opened it up.

“What are you doing, thought you were going to call your sisters?” Bella asked stepping aside for Nick to walk in.

“I talked to BJ and Angel, but didn’t get a hold of Leslie.” Nick plopped on the bed and picked up her guitar.

“I’m bored,” Nick sniffed.

“You sound congested still,” Bella pointed out sitting on the side of the bed. Nick had the flu a week ago and was still getting over it.

“Just a little cold. Nothing for you to stay away from me for four days straight!” Nick picked on Bella who put Nick in quarantine for a flu-virus. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“Working on a song,” Bella crossed her legs.

“Oh? Let me hear.” Nick held the guitar over to Bella.

“Not ready.” She closed her book that she was writing lyrics in.

“You always let me.”

“Yeah but this one is, well, I’m stuck. Something is missing.”

“So, play, let me hear and help.”

“You’re all flushed, do you have a fever?” Bella asked leaning over to feel Nick’s forehead.

“I’m fine, play.” He pushed her hand away before she could reach and she sighed in annoyance. She took the guitar and began strumming her fingers over the guitar strings.

“I can’t believe I’d say I’d lay our love on the ground, but it doesn’t matter ‘Cause I made it up, forgive me now…” she then stopped strumming and put the guitar down.

“Is that all you got? Because it was sounding amazing.”

“Nick-“ Bella bit her bottom lip and gave him a look pleading not to sing any more.

“Bella, please,” he rolled his eyes and took her journal. He flipped open to the last page written in it and scanned the page. Bella watched as his eyes moved back and forth, how he licked his lips and mouthed the words after reading them once in his head. “It’s not done.” He finally spoke.

“That’s what I said, I just have pieces.”

“May I?” Nick asked picking up the pencil. “I think I can relate,” Nick looked up smiling from the page. Bella’s heart fluttered, the way Nick’s hair fell over his blue eyes and the way he looked up at her.

The two spent the next two hours going through lyrics, Bella playing the guitar and sharing a moment the two didn’t know at the time; that would bring them closer together.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Bella why are you freaking out? You just caught my cold I’m sure of, my fever is gone and I just have the sniffles left over.” Nick explained to Bella who was at a small convenient store looking for Emergen-C packets, vitamins, and buying orange juice.

“You don’t understand Nick, I canNOT get sick.” She said sharply throwing a bottle of hand sanitizer into the basket.

“Just take some Nyquil at night and Tylenol during the day if you’re feeling lousy.”

“Those just COVER up the affects. I need things that will prevent and make me better.”

“We’ll get you better; you have another day to rest before performing. Cancel your interview tonight if you’re worried.”

“You don’t get it,” Bella rolled her eyes and went to the check out.

“What’s there to get? I’m confused?” Nick admitted. Ignoring Nick, she handed the cashier a twenty and took her bag off the counter. She then walked out of the store and began walking back to the hotel that was down the block.

“Bella, there’s something you’re not telling me,” Nick grabbed her arm to stop her from walking. She closed her eyes briefly and sighed.

“I’m sick Nick,” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Okay, so you rest and get better. I was sick for a week and I’m fine now.”

“No, I mean I’m sick, like if I get the flu I could die.” Her eyes avoided Nick’s and she looked at her feet.

“What are you talking about, dying from the flu? I didn’t have bird flu or anything like that.” Nick joked and Bella turned to walk away letting out an angry sigh.

“Bella, I’m sorry, look at me and explain.” He gently tilted her chin up with his index finger and thumb after he caught up with her. “Let’s go over there,” he took her bag of remedies and walked over to a bench that was under a shaded tree. They took a seat and Nick angled himself to face Bella, giving her his complete attention.

“I have hodgkin’s disease,” she spoke slowly after a moment of silence. “It’s a type of cancer of the lymphatic system. They caught it in my thymus gland but could travel to my bone marrow or spleen. I was stage two, which meant it was in two different lymph nodes.” She then looked up at Nick to see if he was following her at all.

“You got sick just before you left me?” He asked and she nodded her head. “Can it be cured?”

“I’m in remission right now, I went through chemo for a year and as far as they know they got it all. But even the slightest cold can flare things up.”

“Wow. Alright that explains a lot.” Nick ran his hands over his face, through his hair. “Bella, why didn’t you tell me?” Nick looked at her and she knew immediately how much keeping this from him hurt.

“Because they doctor’s didn’t know much at first and you guys were just starting things again with the band and I didn’t want to hold you back. God Nick, and at first they thought it was something else, and they told me I had months to live and I couldn’t do that to you. I was so much in love; I couldn’t stand to lose you that way.”

“I would’ve been there for you Isabella,” Nick said softly.

“I know and I love you for that but I didn’t want to be selfish.”
“You are the least selfish person I know,” Nick pulled
Bella into his arms. “All those fights we had just before we broke up about me accusing you of not eating…”

“You knew my past; you had nothing else to go on. Weight loss is one of the symptoms. I was losing weight and my body’s defense went down and I kept getting sick and the doctor’s didn’t know why and I finally went to a specialist.”

“I’m sorry for those fights, especially the ones right after you would have a fainting spell, I’m an ass, you had every right to leave me.”

“Stop it, you had no idea, I didn’t even know at the time.”

“How do you feel right now?”

“I feel like I have a cold but every cold scares me.”

“Let’s get you to the hotel and into bed,” Nick told her standing up.

“I’m sorry for lying to you. I was just so scared of losing you forever and I didn’t want to put you through any of it. I don’t want you to have to worry every time I get a cold because I do that enough.” A few tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked up at Nick.

“Baby, you’re not going anywhere. I’m not going
anywhere.” Nick held her tighter and kissed the top of her head. “If you get sick, I’ll make sure you get the best treatment possible.” With his arm still around her, Nick and Bella walked back to the hotel in silence.
Bella drank a tall glass of orange juice with two packets of Emergen-C before climbing into her bed. Nick lay with her, his arms wrapped around her waist tightly, silently promising himself he’d never let her go again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Thank you Orlando! Now are you ready for your home towns very own BACKSTREET BOYS?!” Bella yelled into the microphone and the crowd screamed with excitement. “I said, are YOU ready for the BACKSTREET BOYS ORLANDO?!” The arena grew louder.

“Not just yet,” a voice came over the speaker and then girls in the audience screamed louder.

“Oh no?” Bella asked confused. “Why is that Nick?” She put her hand on her hip smiling.

“Because I think we should give Orlando a special treat tonight.”

“What may that be?” Bella asked now nervous to what Nick
had up his sleeve.

“Hey Orlando, how would you like to hear a duet performance with Bella and I? This song is brand new and you will be the first to hear it!” Nick grinned putting a hand on Bella’s lower back. There were cheers and more screams.

“Nick, no.” Bella spoke into Nick’s ear and not the microphone. Two stools were then brought out onto stage, and a microphone stand was in front of the stool meant for her to sit in.

“Trust me,” Nick smiled, took her hand and led her to the stool. He took her microphone, set it into the stand and he took a seat. Just then the band began to play the familiar new music notes to the song Nick and she had worked on just two days ago. Nick began singing first.

“Just one more moment, that’s all that’s needed, like
wounded shoulders, in need of healing, time to be honest. This time I’m pleading, please don’t dwell on it, ‘cause I didn’t mean it.” Nick nodded to Bella and she picked up.

“I can’t believe I said I’d lay our love on the ground, but it doesn’t matter ‘cause I made it up, forgive me now,” Bella sang, her eyes never leaving Nick’s. “Every day I spend away, my soul’s inside out, gotta be some way I can make it up to you now, somehow, by now you know that- “

Nick joined in, his hand in a tight fist up to his
chest. “I’d come from you, no one but you, yes, I’d come for you, but only if you told me to. I’d fight for you, I’d lie, it’s true, give my life for you. You know I’d always come from you.” As practiced when they wrote the song, Bella let Nick sing the next part.

“I was blindfolded, but now I’m seeing, my mind closing; now I’m believing.”

Bella picked up and stood up from the stool, “I finally know just what it means to let someone in, to see the side of me that one does, or ever will. So if you’re ever lost and find yourself all alone, I’d search forever just to bring you home. Here and now, it’s a vow.” Nick reached for Bella’s hand and squeezed it and the two sang together:

“By now you know that I’d come for you, no one but you. Yes, I’d come for you, but only if you told me to. I’d fight for you, I’d lie, it’s true. Give my life for you. You know I’d always come for you, you know I’d always come for you. “

“No matter what gets in my way, as long as there’s still life in me, no matter what, remember, you know I’ll always come for you.”
Nick then sang, “Yes, I’d come for you, no one but you, yes, I’d come for you but only if you told me to. And I’d fight for you, I’d lie for you, give my life for you, you know I’ll always come for you.”

“No matter what gets in my way, as long as there’s life in me, you know I’ll always come for you.

“I’d crawl across this world for you, do anything you
want me to. No matter what, remember, you know I’ll always com for you, you know I’ll always come for you…” The two finished off together, facing one another. They pulled the microphones away from their mouths, hand in hand and their faces inches away. As the lights went off, Nick and Bella’s lips found each other’s and they kissed softly. A kiss that was soft, full of emotion and left both breathlessly, as they pulled apart.

“Do you think that was smart?” Brian asked Nick angrily getting on the tour bus to head to Fort Lauderdale. Nick knew he was referring to both the song they sang together and mostly the kiss at the end.

“You don’t understand Brian. We had a long talk yesterday; there are things I didn’t know, things no one knew.” Nick ignored the stares from everyone else and moved to sit down in the lounge area.

“How about you fill us in then.” Brian stated sitting next to Nick. “We have a two hour drive.” The guys sat around with Nick and Nick began explaining the day before events.

“So she really did it out of trying to protect me. You guys need to give her a break, we still love each other and I think we’re going to try things again.”

“Wow,” was all Brian could say. “I owe her an apology.”

“So, she’s in remission? That means she’s okay?”

“As long as she is for three more years…so if anyone is sick, you have to make sure not to be near her.” Nick explained.

“Damn, she’s like the Boy in the Bubble, except she’s a girl,” A.J. commented and Howie slapped him upside the head. “What?!” He yelled.

“Alright Nick, I’m sorry. We’ll give her another chance. We know how much she means to you.” Brian told his best friend.

“Thanks,” Nick said sincerely.
The next day, everyone was around the arena setting up for that’s nights show. Bella was looking at her set list and talking to one of the Backstreet dancer’s she had made friends with. Nick came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Hey!” He yelled scaring her.

“Nick! Don’t do that to me!” She squeaked and turned around.

“Sorry, I’d say I’d never do it again but that would be a lie. You have a minute?” He asked looking between her and Kayla.

“Sure, I’ll see ya later Kay, okay?”

“Sure thing. Later Nick,” she smiled and walked away.

“What’s up?” Bella asked.

“I wanted to talk to you about last night.”

“Good, because I did too.” She looked him in the eye, his arms still around her waist.

“Was I out of line?” Nick asked hoping for her to say no.
Bella was quiet for a moment and then shook her head, “No, it felt right.” She admitted.

“I thought so too. Bella, I’m in love with you and that feeling isn’t going to go away. Especially now that I have you back and now that you’ve been opened up to me.”

“I’m in love with you too Nick…are you saying you want to-“

“Give us another try?” He cut her off.

“You want to despite everything? Even what may come?”

“I want to be in your life one hundred percent.”

“You’d really take me back?”

“It’s if you’ll have me.”

“Absolutely,” she grinned.

“Yeah?” Nick asked double checking. Bella pulled Nick’s face to hers and kissed him hard. “I guess that’s a yes.” Nick smiled and held her tighter giving her a kiss back.

“I guess we’re back together?” Brian asked walking up to the two who were smiling like idiots.

“Yeah,” Bella said quietly. She always felt nervous around Brian since she left Nick. She knew he didn’t think too much of her.

“Bella, I want to apologize for the way I’ve treated you. I jumped to conclusions before I knew everything.”

“Brian you don’t have – ”

“I do, so let me. It wasn’t fair and you and I were pretty good friends while you and Nick were together and I’d like that back.”

“Aww, really?” Bella asked touched.

“Yes.”

“Of course Brian! You know I love you!” She pulled him in for a hug. “What a great day!” She beamed. Nick patted Brian on the shoulder and Brian nodded his head.

“So, Howie was surfing on the web last night and the song you two sang last night was a hit and everyone is requesting it for future shows.” Brian told them.

“Really?” Nick asked.

“Yeah, it’s a great song and you two were great.”

“What do you think Bells?” Nick asked.

“I think if our fans our asking, we better give,” she smiled.

“Okay, well, I’m going to go relax a little and call Leigh Ann before the show. See you guys tonight.” Brian smiled and walked away.

“You want to go watch a movie before the show?” Bella asked Nick.

“Would love to,” Nick took her hand and the two walked to Bella’s tour bus.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“I am not doing that ride,” Nick said, crossing his arms. The group had decided to go to Walt Disney World the next day they had off.

“Stop being a baby,” Bella teased Nick. “You did Space Mountain fine, you can do Rail Road Mountain or whatever this is.”

“Yes, but this you can see where you are. I’m going to sit this one out. You go with A.J. he loves this ride.” Nick took a seat on a bench. “I’ll buy your guys’ picture when it’s done.”

“I’ll hang with Nick,” Brian told Bella and A.J. Howie was his wife Leigh out in the park.

“Thanks Frick,” Nick grinned. “Have fun,” Nick waved. Bella slung her arm though A.J.’s and the two walked into line.

“Things are good with you and Nicky I see,” A.J. asked Bella. She smiled ear from ear at the mention of Nick’s name.

“We’re good, hey look Kayla and Roxy.” Bella bounded over to the two dancers from the show. “Hey girls!”

“Bella, A.J,” Roxy smiled. “Where are trouble one and trouble two?” She asked referring to Nick and Brian.

“Being babies,” Bella laughed. “Oh, look we’re next!”I told A.J.

“Huh, what?” He asked and I caught him staring at Roxy.

“I said, I want to ride Kayla that okay?” Bella asked knowing A.J. had a thing for Roxy.

“If that’s what you want. We’ll see you after the ride.” A.J. moved next to Roxy who then began making small talk. Bella and Kayla climbed into the ride and the safety bar went down.

“Ready?” Kayla asked with excitement.

“So, ready! I love roller coasters!”

“Me too!” Kayla beamed and the ride jerked forward. Half way through ride and the screams Bella began to have hot flashes and everything would go dark and then appear again. Out of reflects, her hand moved to Kayla’s arm and she squeezed it.

“You alright Bella?”Kayla yelled over the screams in the train.

“Just a little dizzy, I think,” Bella said, her eyes were closed.

“The ride is almost done, hang in there.” Kayla squeezed her new friend’s hand. The ride came to a stop finally and they saw the other train with A.J. and Roxy on it take off.

“Get me off this thing,” Bella said pushing the safety bar up. Roxy climbed out and went to gather her purse. Bella stood up, her legs felt shaky and she couldn’t figure out why she was having the reaction to this ride. As she went to step out, she placed her right foot between the wooden deck and where the train rested on the track. The wave of dizziness and extreme weakness hit her and she felt her legs buckle under her. Her right leg twisted around as she fell hard.

“Bella!” Kayla knelt down and the ride conductor saw and came over to the two girls.

“Let’s get her away from the ride,” the young man, looking about eighteen told Kayla. The two took her from under her arms and began to pull her away.

“My leg!” Bella yelled and the two stopped pulling.

“Pick her up!” Kayla told the guy and he did setting her back on the ground. Another worker had already started loading the train to get it going so when the next one came back there would be no problems.

“I’ll get some help,” the boy told the girls and Kayla knelt behind Bella so she could lean against her. The boy went over to is station and picked up a walky talky to get help.

“Bella what happened?” Kayla asked.

“I just got dizzy as I stepped off, I didn’t step far enough out I guess,” she closed her eyes and suck in a deep breath.

“Do you think you broke your leg? You twisted it pretty good.”

“I don’t know, I don’t think I felt anything snap, it just hurts badly. Mostly my knee.”

“You’re pretty pale sweetie; we’re going to get you some help. Just try to relax.” Kayla said trying to soothe Bella. The previous train came back and A.J. and Roxy got off. They saw the two girls on the ground and made their way over to them.

“What happened?” A.J. asked with concern and Kayla explained calmly to make sure that Bella wouldn’t get upset. A minute later, a paramedic came up with a wheel chair and an orange bag.

“I need Nick,” Bella’s voice was small like a child’s and they knew she was doing everything not to panic.

“Hi, I’m Chris, what’s your name?” The paramedic asked putting a blood pressure cuff on her arm.

“Bella.”

“Bella, you felt faint when you got off the ride. Did
you feel that way during the ride?”

“Yeah, but I haven’t had any problems on rides before.” Bella explained.

“Alright. Sometimes if your blood pressure or sugar level is low, it can cause problems like this. Do you have any medical history?” He asked now writing on a clip board.

“I have Hodgkin’s disease but it’s controlled right now.”

“Okay and on medicines?” He jotted down notes and Bella rambled off two medicines she took daily and the vitamins she took. “What I want to do, is get your leg stable, we’ll take you down in this fancy wheel chair and get you to the hospital to get looked at.”

“NO ambulance!” Bella yelled.

“We’ll make sure she gets there,” A.J. said.

“Bella, please sign here, just letting us release you and put your birth date on that line,” Chris pointed out.

“We’ll go down and get Nick Bella,” Kayla told her and she and Roxy stood up. Chris began to proceed to dig into his bag and pull out two pieces of cardboard and a large ace bandage to stabilize Bella’s leg.

“You doing okay Doll?” A.J. asked Bella who was now leaning on him.

“I’m doing,” she smiled. Chris finished wrapping her leg up and pushed over the wheel chair and propped up the right food rest.

“Bells?” Nick’s voice came from behind them. He came through the exit and knelt down by her. “Are you okay?” His eyes furrowed together examining her up and down.

“I’m fine,” she lied biting her lip and Nick knew she was lying.

“Okay if I could have you two lift her into the wheel chair, I’ll hold her leg stable and we’ll get her down the ramp.” Chris instructed to A.J. and Nick. Bella put an arm around each of their necks and Chris placed a hand by her ankle and her knee. “On three, one, two, three,” they all lifted and put her down. Nick watched as Bella brought her hands to her face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Nick pulled her hands away gently to look in her eyes. “You light headed still?”

“A little,” she nodded.

“You’re okay, we’re going to get you looked at.” He kissed her cheek and Chris then pushed her down the ramp. Bella ignored all of the eyes on her the entire time; she wanted to get out of the park.

“You guys stay here; have fun for a few more hours. We’ll probably be stuck in the E.R. for a while and have another car sent back.” Nick told the gang.

“You sure?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, she’d feel overwhelmed too I think.”

“Okay, well the car is right at the entrance, I called it over ten minute ago.”

“Thanks Rok,” Nick nodded and followed Chris and Bella.

“Okay just give this to the doctor when you get there, it has your stats when I first saw you.” Chris said pushing Bella up to the black SUV that Nick walked up to.

“Thank you,” Nick said taking the piece of paper, folded it up and put it in his back pocket. The driver had opened the backseat door. Nick picked Bella up and carefully slid her in the back seat, shook Chris’ hand and got in himself. He sat next to her so she could lean on him during the ride.

“Nick?”

“Yeah?” He asked looking down at her face; he was stroking her hair back and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“It started like this last time. This is twice in the last two months I got this dizzy and fainted.”

“It could’ve been the heat, it’s pretty hot today. Just relax pretty girl.” Nick said calmy but he was thinking the exact same thoughts in his head.

Four hours had passed since Nick and Bella arrived at the Emergency room in Orlando and Bella was being discharged.

“We’ll give you a call if anything shows up in your test results within the next forty-eight hours. Make sure you stay off that leg for a week at least!” The doctor said once again to Bella and shook hers and Nick’s hands.
“You ready?” Nick asked Bella who was sitting in a hospital bed, her leg strapped up in an immobilizer and a pair of crutches rested against the bed. She didn’t say anything but let out a sigh of annoyance and rolled her eyes. “WHAT?!” Nick laughed standing up.

“This sucks.”

“It really does, I’m sorry babe,” he handed her the crutches still smiling.

“Then why are you smiling?” She scooted herself closer to the edge of her bed.

“Because I can take total advantage of you for awhile,” he winked helping her stand up.

“Ugh, you would think like that after I’ve sprained my leg to the third degree and may have a relapse in this cancer.”

“Bella come on, I was just trying to lighten up the mood. You always are one to be optimistic here.”

“Are you okay with walking?” Nick asked watching her face scrunch up putting the crutches under her arms.

“I’m fine, I want to go home, or to the hotel or wherever we have to be,” she sighed.

“Come here,” Nick stepped forward and pulled her in for a hug. “I’m here this time okay? I’m not going anywhere. Whatever happens, I’m here.” Those words instantly made

Bella felt better she warmed up inside. “I love you Bella, nothing can change that.”

“I love you Nick. Thank you for everything and dealing with me.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, now let’s get you off that leg.” Nick ushered Bella to the car that would take them back to the hotel.

The two got out of the car where they were ran into paparazzi. “Nick are you and Bella together again?”

“Bella what happened to your leg? Is it true you and Nick got into a fight?”

“Are you two engaged?”

“Please leave us alone, she’s injured here,” Nick yelled and the driver tried to help block off the photographers.

“Bella, didn’t you use Nick to get to your stardom? How do you think your fans will respond?”

“Nick could we get a statement?” A man with a microphone shoved it in front of Nick’s face and his arm knocked Bella off her balance and her crutches went out from under her.

“Bella!” Nick was on the ground with her and told her to put her arms around his neck. “Jerry grab her crutches,” Nick instructed the driver and Nick picked her up and pushed through the cameras, lights and photographers to get inside. Her face was buried in his neck and he walked straight to the elevator and security came out to get rid of the paparazzi. He pressed the sixth button, still holding Bella in his arms and feeling her body tremble.

“I’m so sorry; I don’t know why security wasn’t out there already.” Nick said trying to keep his composure. He was angry and didn’t want to get Bella upset. The elevator opened and he walked down the hall to his room.

Carefully setting Bella to her feet, keeping an arm around her waist to balance her, he reached into his wallet to pull out his key card. He slid it in and out, opened the door and picked Bella back up. He laid her on his bed and then pulled out his cell phone.

“WHERE THE HELL WAS SECURITY?” Nick let loose everything he had been holding in. “We got mulled and Bella was pushed down with a sprained knee. She could’ve been hurt more! Don’t get me that bullshit. Do something about it!” Nick hung up his phone and walked back over to where Bella lay.

“Nick, come here,” she smiled holding her hand out to him. He first took a pillow and propped her leg up and then sat on the bed.

“Are you okay? Are you in a lot of pain?”

“I’m fine, you were my knight in shining armor and I love you for that,” she smiled.

“I should’ve known,” he ran a hand through his hair.

“Nick will you relax and kiss me?” Bella asked. Nick rose an eye brow looking at her skeptically. “Kiss me already.” She demanded and Nick leaned over and kissed her first softly and delicately on her lips; and then harder with passion. After a minute they pulled away both breathlessly; a feeling Bella loved every time she and Nick kissed.

There was then a soft knock and the door and Nick stood up. He answered it and Bella could hear Brian’s voice before the two walked into the room.

“I think you left something outside you may need,” Brian teased placing the crutches on the side of the wall. “Hey Bells, how are you?” Brian asked kissing her cheek.

“I’m alright. Just a sprain.” She told Brian and she knew he wanted to know more about the fainting. “I got some blood tests done, I’ll know in a day or two.”

“Keep me posted, do you guys need anything?”

“I think we may order a pizza and chill in tonight. What time is music check tomorrow?” Nick asked.


“I believe eleven-thirty. I’ll double check and let you know.”

“Okay thanks.”

“Alright well I’ll go tell everyone how you’re doing and just call if you need anything. I may come over if I’m bored later,” Brian smiled and walked out the room.

“Why do we have sound check so early tomorrow?” Bella asked.

“We don’t. I do. You’re not performing tomorrow night.”

“Nick! I have to!”

“You’re supposed to stay off it for a week.”

“My management will kill me, they’ve already called twice.”

“I’ll handle it, don’t worry. You get yourself rested.”

“Nick seriously? A.J. broke his foot once and performed.”

“He had a cast on and could walk. You can’t even put any weight on your leg.”

“I can too!” Bella went to stand but Nick held her shoulders down.

“We’ll try tomorrow. Now, I’m going to get you some ice, and we’re going to- ” But before he could say anything Bella pulled his face to him and began kissing him hard. Her tongue rolled around his hungrily, she wrapped her good leg around Nick’s waist.

“Nick, I want you,” she breathed heavily pulling away for a brief second and began kissing him again. “I have for the past two years.”

“You have no idea,” he kissed her neck, knowing it was her weak point and let out a soft moan. Bella then began to tug at Nick’s shirt and started to pull it off him.

She sat up a little more to pull it all the way off and she kissed his ear lobe, his neck, caller bone and chest.

Nick then made a trail of kisses from her lips, down to her stomach and slowly took off her tank top and kissed her neck again.

“You’re okay?” Nick asked eyeing Bella carefully.

“I’m more than okay,” she smiled and Nick took note to how her eyes seemed to sparkle at that moment. He slowly began to pull off her shorts, careful not to bump her knee but then started laughing when he couldn’t get them past the bulky brace.

“Houston we have a problem,” Nick laughed.

“Un-strap me baby,” Bella said as seductively as she
could for that moment and Nick began to un-do the Velcro straps from the top of her thigh down to her ankle. Once they were all un-done, he gently slid it out from her leg, threw it on the ground and kissed her knee softly; before sliding her shorts all the way off.

Bella’s fingers fumbled with Nick’s jean button and zipper and then tugged on them to get them off. Nick knew she was struggling to move around because of her knee and he helped her take his pants off a long with his boxers. He placed a hand behind her back and with a smooth flick of his fingers, her bra was un-done and he kissed her throat as she tilted her head back.
Nick pulled her panties off and stopped kissing, his eyes looking Bella up and down; making her feel slightly embarrassed.

“Wow,” he breathed.

“What?” She asked, her cheeks felt warm and gave a slight smile.

“You’re beautiful.” He placed a soft kiss on her stomach and Bella’s stomach did a flip. She then used her index finger and thumb to pull Nick’s face back up to hers and she began kissing him again.

“Do you have protection?” She asked between kisses.

“Yeah, are you still on the pill?”

“Yeah, but just- ”

“I know baby, its fine.” He smiled and walked over to his suit case to get a condom. Bella snickered laughing at Nick’s naked, but fine, butt. “What?” Nick asked lying next to her again.

“Nothing, just make love to me Carter,” she smiled and kissed him. With ease, Nick slid on the condom, never breaking his kisses over Bella’s body and her fingers softly ran over his skin, giving him goose bumps. “God I’ve missed this,” she whispered as Nick entered her slowly. He watched her face to make sure he wasn’t hurting her.

“I’ve missed you,” he said with love. Their bodies continued to move in unison as though they had never been apart. Nick felt her arch her back a little, pressing her chest on his; their bodies beginning to perspire. Bella’s nails dug into Nick’s back and let out a moan through her trembling lips.

“Nick-” She breathed as she felt herself closer to fulfillment.

“Yes, baby?” He teased knowing exactly where she was and she knew he was about to go himself.

“Nick I’m-”

“I know…” Nick breathed as they both collapsed their bodies on top of one another.

“That was amazing,” Bella smiled, unable to remove it from her face.

“You’re amazing,” Nick said, rolling over to plant a kiss on her lips.

“What are you doing here?!” Nick asked, toweling himself off from rehearsal.

“Sound check.” Bella said simply.

“You’re not doing your show tonight.”

“I am. Only three songs.”

“Three?”

“Yes, Dad.” Bella rolled her eyes and walked over to the stool on stage was and her guitar sat in its stand. Nick shook his head at her stubbornness.

“It’s just three songs buddy,” Howie patted Nick’s shoulder. Nick watched as Bella picked her guitar up, placed an ear-mic in and talked to the sound crew. “It’s kind of kick ass,” Howie admitted making Nick smile.

For the next twenty minutes, Bella strummed and sang two of the three songs she would sing. She also talked to her wardrobe artist and lighting to figure out how she’d get on stage; in order not to make a big deal of all this.

“Lunch time?” Nick asked as Bella made her way to him.

“Sure, where at?”

“There’s a small place down the road, we’re all going.”

“Sounds good.”

“How’s the leg?”

“The leg is fine. Stop worrying.”

“Did the Doctor call you this morning?”

“Not yet.”

“Oh.”

“Relax.” She shot Nick a look before the two began their way out to the bus that would take them to lunch.

~*~*~*~

Later that evening, Bella was on the couch back stage waiting for her to be called to get ready to hit the stage. She was playing a game on her cell phone when it began vibrating. It wasn’t a number she recognized and picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Isabella Antanelli please. This is Dr. Richard’s from Orlando Hospital.” At that instant Bella’s heart stopped beating and sunk to her stomach.

“Yes, this is her.”

“Isabella your test results came in this afternoon and I’m afraid that something positive showed up.”

“What showed up?”

“I’m sorry but the cancer is back. Now, you should have some more tests done, to find out where it may be to control it again. Is there a way you can come back this evening?”

“The cancer can’t be back, I’ve been fine! I take care of myself!”

“We need other tests done.”

“I’m on tour, I’m in Fort Lauderdale now and I leave for Georgia tomorrow.”

“Ms. Antanelli, it’s crucial you get these tests done and get started with chemo. I’ve sent your doctor the tests results and she wants others done.” Bella couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Besides the couple of dizzy spells, she felt fine.

“I’ll be in contact with my Doctor, thank you.” She said and hung up the phone. She threw it across the room and let out a scream of frustration. She stood up and she turned to reach her crutches, she saw Brian standing in the door way. She closed her eyes briefly and then asked “How much did you hear?”

“I’m sorry Bella,” he said softly and walked up to her. “I came to get you and didn’t want to interrupt…Bella you need to go home.”

“Brian, I can’t,” she whispered, afraid that her voice might break.

“Bells-”

“NO!” She took her crutches and made her way out of the back room to the stage. Moving as fast as she could, she went out to her spot to wait to go out on stage. She had to think about the songs she would be singing. Her first song would definitely help her get out her anger a little.

“You’re on!” Someone called from the background. Bella tossed her crutches to the side and un-strapped her knee brace. She had it wrapped in a simple ace bandage so it wouldn’t be as noticeable; since she was wearing a short skirt and a cut up tank top.


“Motorcycle’s in the parking lot, revving their engines and it just won’t stop. Matches the noise, screaming in my head. Houston, I think we got a problem. Where does everybody go when they go? They go so fast I don’t think they know, we hate so fast and we love too slow. London, I think we got a problem.”

“And when I think about it, I just can’t think about it. I try to drink about it, I keep spinning. Ave Mary A, where did you go? Where did you go? How did you know to get out of a world gone mad? Help me, let go, of the chaos around me. The devil that hounds me, I need you tell me. Child, be still, child be still.”

“Broken hearts all around the spot, I can’t help thinking that we lost the plot. Suicide bomber and a student shot. Tokyo, I think we got a problem. But for that they have gotta pay. If that don’t kill you then the side effects will. If we don’t kill each other then the side effects will. Cape Town, I think we gotta problem.”

“Ave Mary A, where did you go? Where did you go? How did you know to get out of a world gone mad? Help me, let go of the chaos around me, the devil that hounds me, I need you to tell me, Child be still.”

“Damn that girl has her voice on tonight!” A.J. commented to Nick who looked nervous as he watched.

“She’s not supposed to be moving around like that,” Nick said annoyed. “Why is she so stubborn?” Bella moved around the stage as though she had all the energy in the world.

“Let her be Nick,” Brian told his friend with sympathy.

“I didn’t know the girl had so much anger in her.” A.J. commented again.

“She has a right to sing about it tonight,” Brian said quietly and Nick looked at him with question.

“If the darkest hour, comes before the light. Where is
the light? Where is the light? If the darkest hour comes before the light, where is the light? Where is the light, where is the light? Yeah. Ave Mary A, where did you go? Where did you go? How did you know to get out of a world gone mad? Help me, help me, let go of the chaos around me. The devil that hounds me, I need you to tell me, child be still, child be still, child be still…” (Pink! Ave Mary A)

At the end of the song, Bella used everything she had in her and dropped to her knees, ignoring the sharp pain that shot up and down her sprained knee. The crowd was the loudest she ever heard. It was a bittersweet moment for her.

“I don’t think she can stand,” Nick said as he watched his girlfriend stay on her knees, her head down and breathing hard. She pushed herself up onto her hands and her legs shook as she went to stand. “Get the lights!” Nick called out and the lights were turned off and he went out onto the stage.

Bella looked up at Nick, tears streaming down her face and he put an arm under her legs and the other around her back. Without saying a word he carried her to the back and set her on the couch. Brian was already there with a bag of ice and Nick un-raveled her ace bandage before placing the ice on her swollen leg.

“Was it worth it?”Nick asked, his voice flat. Bella looked away, wiping away her tears.

“Nick we have to get out on stage in five minutes.” Brian said breaking the ice. Without saying another word, Nick stood up and walked out of the room. “It was worth it, I know,” Brian said kissing the top of her head.

“You didn’t tell him?”

“You will, when you’re ready.” Brian pulled a small smile and walked in the same direction Nick went.

An hour within the Backstreet Boys’ show, Bella had her leg wrapped back up in its immobilizer and she was taken back to her hotel room. She went right to the mini-bar and opened it up. She opened up the small bottle of vodka, opened it up and let it burn down her throat. She then opened another, sat down next to the fridge and took out a Snicker’s bar. She tore open the wrapper, and took a bite slowly chewing, chasing it away with the vodka.

By the time the Backstreet Boys reached the hotel, Bella had cleared her mini-bar, the small bottle of champagnes and vodkas. Needless to say she was more than feeling better when she had a knock on the door. Glancing at the clock, she squeezed her eyes to try to read the time. It was eleven thirty-three, maybe thirty eight. She pulled herself up to her feet, falling once because of the bulky brace and reached the door. It knocked again and without looking in the peep hole, like she was always told to do, she opened the door. She was still wearing her stage outfit, her eye liner was smeared a little and her hair was a mess.

“You didn’t answer your phone.” Nick said walking in.

“Sure come on in.”

“Where is your phone?”

“I broke it at the venue, I threw it.” She giggled and closed the door.

“Are you drunk?” Nick asked

“No. Tipsy.” She shrugged and limped over to her bed and plopped down.

“You drank all of those?” Nick asked referring to the 10 empty bottles.

“And a candy bar, I will have to work out tomorrow.” She started laughing.

“What is going on?”

“You said partying is part of the scene, so I partied.”

“By yourself?”

“Well, you were at a show.”

“Isabella, what is going on and tell me the truth!” Nick’s voice rose. “You didn’t wear your brace like you were supposed to, danced on stage, couldn’t finish the last two songs and now you’re drunk.”

“NOTHING! I want to be alone,” Bella sat up and moved close to the edge of the bed.

“Did something happen? Did I do something?”

“NO Nick, it’s not about you!” She yelled and flashbacks to right before she broke up with Nick hit her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I feel like you’re fighting with me for the sake of fighting!” Nick threw his hands up in the air. He and Bella were in the kitchen fighting for what seemed like the third time that day.

“Nick maybe you need to just give me space when I ask for and stop being such a girl!”

“I can’t stand back and watch you starve yourself. I know in high school you had eating disorders, but this isn’t high school Bella!”

“I told you, I’m not! I just haven’t had an appetite.”

“Because you won’t eat, after a while you won’t have one! You think you’re going to get a contract singing if you’re anorexic!? How do you think it makes me look also?”

“This isn’t about you Nick!”

“No it’s about you, just like it always is.”

“I’m sleeping in the guest room tonight,” Bella turned on her heel and headed briskly up the stairs. Nick heard the door slam. Nick winced at the sound and took out a beer from the fridge. He popped the cap and took a long pull at the cold liquid. He left the cap on the counter and planned to leave the bottle and other’s he’d drink also on the counter for Bella to find. He knew it bothered her when he drank.

~*~*~*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*~*~*~

“Look, I just want to be alone. I’m sorry,” Bella’s
voice was calmer and softer. She placed her fingers over her eyes and rubbed them. She was exhausted and felt the tears ready to turn on.

“Alright,” Nick gave in. “See you in the morning.” His voice sounded sad as he slowly turned for the door. Bella threw herself down her bed and let the tears stream down her face and until she cried herself to sleep.

~*~*~

The next morning, Nick was stepping out of room to the hallway and was going to go make sure that Bella was awake. He knew she’d be in rough shape for how much she drank. Before he closed his door however, Kayla pulled out Bella’s suitcase from the room. Bella was behind; her hair was wet from the shower and thrown up in a messy bun. A pair of dark sunglasses covered her eyes and she moved slowly on her crutches, dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a fitted pink tee. Nick noticed she wasn’t putting any weight on her injured leg.

As she walked past Nick, Bella pulled a small smile and said “hey” barely audible but kept moving toward the direction of the elevator. Nick followed without saying a word, knowing things were still in the process of cooling off.

They made it to the lobby but went out the back doors where the busses would be to load up. As Bella reached her bus, she handed the driver her crutches and then seemed to hesitate on getting up the steps. Nick wondered just how much pain she was in. He ignored his ego and set his bag on the ground and walked over to Bella.

“Put your arm around me,” Nick whispered in her ear, his voice sweet and full of love. It almost made Bella want to cry again. Her arm went around Nick’s neck and he helped up the narrow stairs.

“Where do you want to go for the ride?” He asked at the top.

“Here’s fine,” she jolted her chin to the long seat was and Nick helped her sit down. As she struggled to lift her leg up, Nick picked it up and gently set it down on the seat. “Thanks,” she whispered and pushed her sunglasses on top of her head. Nick was surprised to see her eyes were puffy as though she’d been crying for a while and looked as though they were brimmed with tears at that moment.

“Bella,” he said softly and sat next to her.

“I’m sorry for last night,” she said looking down at her hands.

“Talk to me then, don’t shut me out.”

“Nick I’m…” her voice trailed off thinking of how she was going to tell him. “I’m just mad at myself for performing what I did last night. I’m sorry,” she bit her lip, her eyes dropping from Nick’s again because she hated lying. “I’m upset I drank, I’m upset I got upset at you, I’m…”

“Shh, don’t get worked up.” Nick pulled her into his arms. “Let me in baby,” he said sweetly kissing her cheek.


“I’m trying Nick; I’ve just learned to shut everything and everyone out for so long.”

“I know. But I’m here, I told you that and I’m trying to show you that.” Nick was careful not to raise his voice to get things worked up.
Bella only nodded her head because she couldn’t keep back the tears any longer. She couldn’t tell Nick the truth about the phone call she received last evening. He’d make her go home, get treatment; fight the long battle once more. Again putting her dreams on hold… perhaps forever.

“Do you want me to ride with you to Atlanta?” Nick was more than concerned with Bella. He wasn’t sure if she needed space or for him to be there. His eyes stayed locked on her, trying to read what was going through her mind.

“You don’t have to. I’m just over tired, didn’t sleep much last night,” she pushed the tears back with her fingers and took in a deep breath.

“I’ll be more than happy to hold you while you sleep. Besides you don’t have a phone anymore and I’ll just make the bus pull over every hour to check on you.”
Bella couldn’t help but laugh a little at what Nick just said. She nodded her head and looked at him.

“I love you,” she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and he gave a squeeze back.

“Let me just go tell the guys,” he gave her a brief kiss and stood up to exit the bus. “I’ll be right back pretty girl,” he smiled and ducked down the steps.