“Theresa, please, have a sit. What I’m about to tell you, is not the greatest of news.” I sat down and crossed my legs, glancing at this woman.
“Honestly, Dr. Lancaster. I promise to behave myself, no matter what you tell me.” I smiled at her and she just shook her head. Her thumb and forefinger pinched the bridge of her nose and I realized that this news was not going to be the best.
“Theresa, I hate to inform you, but the chance of you having kids, is very unlikely. We’ve run tests and have come up with the information. You’re body just can’t seem to handle it.” I looked at her and around me. How could this happen to me? All I’ve ever wanted out of life was a family, a huge family. Kids to roam around, kids to love and who loved me. Sure, there was adoption, but that could take years and I wanted to start my family now. “There’s been a problem for years, all coming from your eggs and your pervious doctor boiled it down to your thyroid, but that was never the case.”
“Thank you, Dr. Lancaster.” She nodded her head and I stood to go. “I’m sorry you had to tell me, I know it’s not an easy thing to state.” I smiled at her as I walked out of the room. I walked to my car, dazed. ‘Not able to have children? How am I going to tell Brian?’

I watched as he ate his dinner, totally unaware of what was about to happen. He was content in his knowledge that his wife would provide him the family that he wanted. Yet, I couldn’t. Because I was one of those rare women whose body didn’t produce enough eggs. Wonderful times, not having a period every month, but it was hell when you’re trying to have kids.
“You’re not eating, are you okay?” I picked at my food and sighed.
“No, actually, I’m not. Brian, we need to talk, and it’s rather serious.” He glanced up at me, took in the features and set his fork down. He leaned back in his chair and wiped his mouth with his napkin.
“What’s wrong sweetie?”
“I saw Dr. Lancaster today. She gave me some awful news.”
“What?”
“I can’t have kids. Something about not producing enough eggs. That’s why I don’t…” He shook his head, refusing to hear anymore.
“When we got married, you said…you told me.”
“I was mistaken. My own doctor told me I would be fine. He lied to me as well. Or rather, didn’t bother checkin’ out all his facts.”
“Damn it.” He stood up and threw his napkin on the table. “I can’t believe this, can’t…” He stormed into the living room, looking out on the back porch. “Do you know that almost everyone else has at least one kid?” By everyone else, he was referring to his four band mates, the other four members of the Backstreet Boys.
“Yes. With the exception of Alex, I know. I’m not stupid, Brian.”
“Did you bother to think how this would make me feel?” I looked up at him, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Screw you, Littrell. You think I want this? To have my dreams dash away because of my stupid body? I’m so fuckin’ sorry I screwed you’re life up, but damn it, it screwed mine over too. This was not my wish and you should know that.” I turned on my heel and ran upstairs, slamming the door behind me. What an ungrateful cad. Oh, I loved that man, but sometimes, I wish to God, I could just strangle him for his uncaring manner.

****************************
I slammed my car into park and stormed inside his house, not caring if he was asleep or whatever the hell was going on. He quickly entered the hall and raised his eyebrow.
“What’s up Bri?”
“I found out something tonight Howie and honestly, I have no idea what to do.”
“Sit down man, and tell me about it.”
“I’m not intruding on anything am I?”
“No. Terri is just cleaning up after dinner. Go ahead and sit. Want anything to drink?”
“Um, a coke would be fine.” Howie nodded his head and I sat down on the living room couch, sighing as I leaned my head back.
“Here you go man. So, tell me, what’s up?”
“Theresa can’t have kids. Something is up with her body and she can’t have ‘em.”
“What’s so bad about that? Brian, there’s lots of other ways to have kids.”
“I know, but it wouldn’t be the same.”
“Okay, I understand. And tell me, did you happen to get into it with her?” I cringed, recalling the anger I had expressed. But recalling that, I felt the hurt once again. “Brian, I know you well enough that you let your feelings get stated. In the process, I’m almost positive you hurt her more than you can imagine.”
“She lied to me.”
“When?”
“Her wedding vows. We wrote our own and she stated that she loved me and would love me forever. That she would have a houseful of children and make all my dreams complete.”
“Was she aware of her condition prior to your wedding day?” Sadly, I shook my head. Yes, I made a big fuckin’ mess out of this. But damn it… “Go home to you wife and say your sorry.”
“She slammed the door Howie. God, she was crying when I left.” Howie sat down next to me and patted my shoulder.
“Make amends. I’m sure come the morning light; you’ll find a way to work through this. Don’t go to a lawyer and claim that you want a divorce on the grounds that she lied in her wedding vows.” I looked at him and shook my head.
“I wouldn’t think of getting a divorce.”
“Why? Your beliefs or your love for your wife?” I blinked once and held my breath for a second, which was more then enough time for Howie to raise his brow in question.
“I love her Howie, don’t you think otherwise.”
“It’s not me thinking that. Why take so long to answer?”
“I didn’t. It took me but a moment…”
“When it should have been on your lips that you love her no matter what.” I sighed, knowing he was right. “Honestly Brian, don’t let this situation bring down a love that’s too right and too pure. You two have loved each other for years. Don’t be stupid.” I nodded my head and headed out to my car, my mind lost in its thoughts.

Chapter 2
I sighed as I turned once again. I couldn’t sleep, didn’t really want to. I knew my dreams would be of the children I could never have, could never give him. I sat up, glancing outside as the moon reflected itself in the pool. We had our background set up like a mini playground. But, it’s only usage came from the other guys’s kids. Not that we minded. I heard the car come into the garage and heard the door being opened and slammed shut. Was he still upset? Would he still want to go on with this outlandish fight? I lie back on my pillow and heard the door slowly open.
“Babe?” I glanced at him and offered a smile, one he returned. He walked over to the bed and sat down, wrapping his hand around mine. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. It’s just…I want a family so much with you.”
“I know Bri, and I do too. It just won’t happen. I can’t change that.” He kissed my forehead and nodded his head.
“I know love, I know. Let’s get some sleep and hopefully, tomorrow, we can come up with a plan.” He moved himself and laid down next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me against his chest. His lips would brush my hair and I sighed with contentment.

I shifted on the couch, reading a book. Although, I had been rereading the same line for the last five minutes. What if…I shook my head, clearing away any thoughts of children. Adoption was the only way we could go. I wouldn’t dare ask any friends…I set the book aside and got off the couch. I had wonderful friends who would walk through hell and fire for me. Why wouldn’t one be able to carry a child for nine months? I slumped back on the couch as I realized that it wouldn’t be my eggs, so in truth, it wouldn’t be my baby. But I would still raise it as mine. I frowned at that. Would I be a surrogate mother for them? In a heartbeat, I told myself. There we go, there’s our answer. I ran into the bedroom and watched as Brian stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He ran his fingers through his hair and I leaned against the doorframe, taking him all in. He was honestly a gorgeous figure. He undid the towel and I quickly sucked in a breath. He turned at the noise, a smile forming his face.
“Well, didn’t know I had an audience.” I gulped but tired to smile.
“Please, cover yourself. I need to breathe, you know.” I stepped further in the room and he quickly walked over, wrapping one of his lean arms around my waist.
“No, I like hearing you gasp for breath. Or pant. Sets my blood flowing.” I laughed but he quickly stopped that with a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, sliding my fingers into his wet locks. His tongue snaked out, seeking entrance and mine met his, starting an erotic duel. He moaned and walked me over to the bed. I smirked up at him and quickly rolled away as he tired to kneel over me. “What?”
“I wanted to talk to you before we get into…” I stopped as his fingers found the hem of my t-shirt and quickly slipped it up over my head. “Brian!”
“What?” He played all innocence as his hands cupped the breasts that were now exposed to his eyes. “God, do I love you woman.” I moaned as his lips were pressed against the skin. All thoughts soon had left my mind, basking in the pleasure I was receiving.

*********************
My fingers linked through hers, which were resting right below her breasts. God, I loved her with everything. She honestly meant so much to me. Then why, did it at times, feel like it was becoming a burden to live with her? She shifted and my hand rubbed against her nipple and I could feel myself grow once again. Damn, she surely had a power about her. I sighed and pressed my lips against her hair. I withdrew my arm and climbed off the bed and slipped on a pair of boxers. She mentioned something about talking, that something had come to her mind. I watched her, so innocent and so serene in her sleep. Ha, that’s only those sweet dreams of her. Outside of them, she was hell and spitfire. Not that I minded. It was that combination that made me fall for her. She was, and still is, a unique woman. She shifted and I drew the blanket up around her shoulders. Let her sleep. After the last few nights, the restless sleep she had, she could do with a nap. I walked down the stairs and quickly checked the messages. I heard my mom’s voice and quickly skipped over the message. I heard another one from one of Theresa’s friends than another from Dr. Lancaster. She requested that we called her back as soon as possible. I grabbed the cordless and quickly dialed the number I knew by heart.
“Dr. Lancaster’s office, how may I help you?”
“It’s Brian Littrell. May I please speak to Dr. Lancaster?”
“Yes, hold on while I transfer you.”
“Thank you.” Brian sat down at the table and glanced around, waiting for the woman to come on the line.
“Brian?”
“Good afternoon Dr. Lancaster.”
“Thank you for calling me back. I hope you’re not busy?”
“No, no, we’re fine. What’s up?”
“Well, after I talked to Theresa, I came up with a few ideas. How about a surrogate mother, if you want your own child?” Brian chewed upon the idea for a few moments and rather liked the ring of that.
“That would be rather nice, actually.”
“Perfect. Now, there is a process that we go through to find the mother, or if you know someone who would do it, we can take that road too. Then there’s the procedure of having your sperm and her eggs…” She stopped and sighed. “Wait.”
“She doesn’t have the eggs, right?”
“I’m sorry Brian.”
“You know what, Dr. Lancaster, let me talk to her about it. Who knows? She’s more than willing to mother another baby, believe me.” The doctor laughed at that but agreed and said for them to call her back when they have reached a decision. I laughed as I hung up the phone. Theresa had to go for it; this was our last choice.

Chapter 3
“I just don’t know Terri. This whole business seems odd.” Terri sighed as she listened to her friend, Alex’s girlfriend. Jewel had been a rather nice girl to get along with, but a lot of the time, she was stubborn and hard headed. Which made for some frustrating moments, such as this one.
“Jewel, it’s not like you’re the one going to do it.”
“I know, but if that was Alex and myself, I wouldn’t dream of taking another woman’s child.”
“Honestly, Jewel, how old are you? Sometimes I wonder if you happen to have any brain cells.” Jewel huffed at that and Terri felt bad. It wasn’t Jewel’s fault that she was raised as precious as could be. She wasn’t snobbish, far from it; she was just…different. “I’m sorry.”
“Forgiven. Have you talked to Theresa or just to Brian?”
“I talked to Theresa earlier today. She had come up with the idea right before Brian talked to the doctor. They said they wanted to choose a mother, but I have no clue that they have in mind. Nor who they could possibly be thinking off.”
“You don’t think that they might come to one of us, do you?” Terri raised her eyes upward and said a silent prayer that she would live through this conversation and not says something rude again.
“Jewel, we’re the closest friends they have. I would bet a hundred dollars that they come to one of us.”
“There’s no way I would do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I wouldn’t give my baby away just like that!” Terri heaved another lung full of air out.
“Do you understand the process of being a surrogate mother, Jewel?”
“Yes, you house the baby for the nine months and then you give it away.”
“Good. Now, do you know that it’s her eggs and his sperm? Nothing of this child would be yours.” Jewel sighed, but you could still hear the disgust in her voice. “Hey, I hate to rude, but I have to go. Howie just got home and we’re supposed to go out tonight, okay?”
“Yeah, have fun missy. Talk to you later.”
“Yeah, you too.” Terri hung up the phone and turned her attention to her husband. “How was your day?”
“Not to bad. Nick kicked my butt again, but that’s nothing new.” Terri laughed as she sat down next to her husband.
“I talked to Theresa today. And to Brian.”
“Yeah, Brian called Nick and we both talked to him. Do you like the idea?” Terri pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and thought for a moment.
“Actually, I want to help. I wouldn’t mind being the surrogate mother.” Howie looked at her, frowning at that.
“Why do that?”
“Because I feel bad for them. And sides, Theresa has been my friend for so long. And you know that they have always been there for us, doing whatever they can to help. Hell, they’re the ones who watch our kids and how hard do you think it’s been on them?” Howie sighed, but did decide that his wife was right. Howie, once again glanced at her, and love was shinning in his eyes.
“Terri, you’re a wonderful woman. And I’m sure lucky to have found you.” Terri basked in that praise. She loved him too, beyond doubt and beyond question.

I flipped through the magazine, frustrated once more. More then frustrated this time. Dr. Lancaster said she needed to talk to Brian and me yet Brian knew exactly what was going on. He just refused to tell me what was going on. I flopped the magazine back on the table and tapped my shoe on the floor. Brian turned and glared at me.
“Everything is fine, damn it.”
“Bull shit Brian. You’ve been talking to my doctor on and off for the last couple of days.”
“And you’re point?”
“Something is going on yet you won’t tell me.” He grabbed my hand and placed it within’ the palm of his.
“You worry too much.” I raised an eyebrow yet couldn’t help but agree with him. It was just me. I jumped as the doctor’s door opened and she smiled at me.
“Ready to see you guys.” I took a deep breath and lead the way into the office. “Have a seat you two.” I made myself comfortable and smiled brightly at her. “Well then, I guess we just get down to business. We talked about surrogate mothers and I was told, Theresa, that you rather liked that idea, correct?” I nodded my head in agreement. “Well, that’s good. Although there’s one problem. You don’t have enough eggs to impregnate another woman. This is where the tricky business comes into the picture. If you trust a friend, usually they’re more than happy to give up an egg. It’s the other woman, yourself, who would be raising a child that isn’t yours.” I glanced at her and than at Brian who merely shrugged. This was my choice, was what he was saying. What a bastard!
“Honestly, I need to think about this Dr. Lancaster.”
“Of course. Take as much time as you need Theresa. Just give me a call back when you reached your decision.” I smiled my thanks and quickly left the room, Brian close on my heels.
“What do you think?”
“I’m not sure. I mean, I know that it’s one of the best options, it’s just, well, hard.”
“No doubt.” He held the door open for me and I slid in, lost within my thoughts. “You know, Terri would do this for us.”
“I know. She’s one of my best friends for even thinking about it. I guess, it’s just the fact that it’s not mine, you know? At least, before it could have been one of my eggs, but now, it’s nothing of mine.”
“But it will be a part of me. And you’ll be the one to raise it. That’s gotta count for something, right?”
“It does babe.”

Chapter 4
I stared at the ceiling, counting to ten before I screamed. For the last seventy-two hours, I went back and forth on this answer. It was harder then I could ever imagine. Yeah, the baby would Brian’s, which was great, but it wasn’t me. It would like Terri and Brian. I sighed, as I thought about it. The baby would actually be quite beautiful. The bluest of eyes, and perhaps the palest of hair. And just a touch of chubby cheeks. It would be the cutest child around. Damn, what a hard decision. I jumped off the couch as I heard the front door close and smiled as Howie walked into the room.
“Hey there handsome. What’s going on?” He gave me a brief hug and sat down on the couch.
“Nothing. Was off for a drive, enjoying this nice weather and you popped into my mind. Wanted to see how you were doing?” I quickly opened my mouth to tell him I was fine, but this man knew me. Right next to Terri, he was my best friend. When Brian and I had gotten together, he and I had clicked. There was a bond there that no one knew nor could understand. He knew me, and I knew him, it was that plain and simple.
“I’m having one hard time deciding on what to do.”
“Because it’s Terri’s eggs, correct?”
“Yeah. I mean, when this idea had formed, it was mine, actually and truthfully. Now, there’s really no chance for it to be mine.” He grabbed my hand and shook his head.
“Okay, so yeah, the baby might look a mix between Terri and Brian, I won’t deny that. And maybe the DNA might match hers. But given the chance, Theresa, you would have more of an influence then anyone else on a baby. You’re the one who’s raising it. It’s going to look up to you. And in that aspect, you’re the one it’s going to be like, copying your mannerisms, you’re attitude.” I sat down next to him and smiled.
“You know, you’re right Howie. I had never thought about it like that.”
“Yes, that’s what I’m here for. To put the spin on things that no one else sees.” I laughed at that and shook my head. Honestly, this child would be more mine and Brian’s then anything else.
“Thank you.” I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a fierce hug. He laughed and quickly returned the favor, placing a brief kiss on my cheek.
“Hey, hey now. I’m gone for a few hours and you try to steal my wife, D.” I quickly pulled out of Howie’s embrace and turned to Brian, who was leaning against the doorframe, a smile appearing on his face.
“Baby, you’re home already?” He nodded and I jumped off the couch and gave him a quick hug. “Howie came by to knock some much needed sense in me.” Brian’s hand wrapped itself around my waist and I frowned. He hardly ever did that in front of the guys. In fact, it felt more like he was showing a sigh of possession. I mentally shook those thoughts away. He had no reason for any of that.
“How did he manage that?”
“Said that this baby, though it being part of Terri would be more of part of me because I’m the one that’s raising it.”
“See. I told you that.”
“Yeah, yeah. So, I want to go to Dr. Lancaster and tell her about this.”
“I’ll call her tomorrow and set up an appointment, okay?” I beamed at that and nodded my head.
“Well, I can see my work here is done. I’ll see you two later.” He slapped Brian’s hand and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before he left.
“I’m grateful for our friends, Brian, you know that? I swear, without them, I think we’d be lost.”
“You’re very right.” He quickly gave me a kiss before he turned upstairs to take a shower.

Chapter 5
*********************************************
I watched as Terri switched on the stove, putting a pan of water on it. She grabbed the noodles and waited for the water to start boiling. I shook my head as I started making the garlic bread. Terri and Howie had invited Resa and I over for supper to talk about what was going to happen.
“You’re awfully quiet.” I glanced up and offered a smile.
“Just thinking Terri.” She raised an eyebrow in question. “Well, is this right? You’re giving up a child…” I watched as Terri’s hand covered mine and I felt the strongest sensation run up my arm. That really couldn’t be good.
“Brian, you can’t think of things like that. It’s not hardship on me to do this for the people that I love. Me and Howie have been back and forth and we both agree it’s the right thing to do.” I smiled at her. She could honestly put situations into the simplest of terms.
“Okay. I catch your drift.” I leaned over the counter and gave her a hug. God had blessed me in my life. Wonderful wife, the greatest of friends, and soon a little baby on its way. I pulled back and smiled at her. She returned the smile this time, and I lost my thoughts. I studied her face, realizing for the first time, that Terri was a very beautiful woman, probably one of the prettiest I’ve ever seen. And it just wasn’t the blonde locks nor the blue eyes, but the inner beauty that helped out those pleasant features. She cupped my cheek, her blue eyes changing to a deeper blue, a color I couldn’t place. I felt my heart stop for the briefest of moments, then start back up in a pattern I hadn’t known since the first time I kissed Theresa. Kissed…my thoughts turned to Terri’s lips, my eyes dropping to those luscious lips that I knew I had to feel. Without a backwards glace, my arms tightened their hold and I pulled her tight against my body. Lord, but she felt right there. She stood about two inches shorter than I did, which was what I certainly wanted in any female. And it felt even better when her arms wrapped themselves around my neck. She wanted this nearly as much as I did. But where did this passion come from? When did this hunger for this woman start to burn? My head descend of it’s own accord and my lips captured hers. Within moments, I lost all sense of the world. I was in a pure bliss, being wrapped up in her arms and nothing could make this wrong. It didn’t matter to me that she was married or that I was. And it sure as hell didn’t matter that we were all the best of friends. But as drugging as that kiss was, we could not go down this path. She realized that just as soon as I did. She pulled back slightly, looking deep into my eyes.
“Brian.”
“What?”
“This isn’t right.”
“Tell me anything but that, Terri. There was a shock in that kiss that I’ve never experienced.”
“Nor I. But that doesn’t matter. We’re married, which means we’re committed and even thinking about going on is wrong.”
“Do you know how hard it is living with that woman sometimes?”
“Sometimes, Brian?” She shook her head sadly and walked back to the stove. “You love her, don’t you?” I turned haunted eyes in her direction and she gasped. “Don’t you Brian?”
“I do.” She looked just as skeptical as I felt. How did I just fall out of love with my wife? Wait; did I honestly fall out of love with her? Or did I just merely want another woman? Want, that’s the key phrase. Terri was a distracting woman, that’s all it was.
“Are you sure?”
“I swear it. I love her. She’s my…” I trailed off and swallowed. “She’s my other half. I’d be lost without her.”
“Are you convincing me or yourself Brian?”
“I’m telling you. You asked me and I’m answering your question.”
“Hey, hey, what’s going on in here?” I turned my eyes and found Howie walking into the kitchen, Theresa right behind him.
“Nothing, a disagreement of sorts.” Theresa frowned at my answer and I walked over to her, wrapping her up in my arms. She felt good, but not nearly as right… I shook my head, telling myself I couldn’t think like that.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Really.” I placed a kiss upon her lips, waiting for something, anything to show that there was something within me that needed her. But, nothing came. Well, maybe I was forcing it to come. Things like that couldn’t be forced; you naturally had to feel them. That was it, I couldn’t think about it. I left my arm around her waist as she turned around and started talking to Terri. My eyes watched Theresa as she told about her trying day and all that it consisted of. Her eyes danced wildly and her laughter rang in the air, just as Howie’s did. Howie…my eyes darted to him and I saw him standing next to his wife, but staring at my wife. I glanced at her again, taking in her appearance and was shaken. She honestly looked the worse for wear. “Theresa, wait a minute, what happened to you?”
“Oh, the clothing?” She laughed and shook her head. “I had a flat tire and no gas in my car. I was in such a hurry to get here, I got a nail in the tire as I went to some gas station. I tried calling you, but your cell phone just kept ringing. I kept getting the machine, so I figured you were busy or couldn’t hear it. I finally had to call Howie cause I’d figure he’d be getting home around the same time. He picked me up, since my cars at the station still. I didn’t have the spare in there, which is odd.”
“Odd, I didn’t hear my cell phone go off.” She shrugged and asked Terri if she could change into some clothes, which Terri quickly agreed to. She gave her thanks and ran up the stairs to the master bedroom. I walked into the living room, trying to remember where my cell phone was. In my jacket pocket, I quickly remembered. I grabbed the garment and searched the pockets, pulling out the cell phone. I groaned as I saw I missed three phone calls from her. I would have heard it, had my mind not been paying attention to another female.

Chapter 6
I sat down on the bed, staring at the wall. Walking in on Terri and Brian, something just didn’t seem right. There was a charge in the air, a tension of sorts, and it disturbed me. They were acting strange, and coming from them, I wasn’t used to it. I mean, these were two of the most sensible people. I sighed and stood up, wiping the extra beads of water away. I heard a gasp and quickly turned around. Standing there in the doorway was Howie.
“I’m sorry Theresa. I thought you were just changing. They wanted me to come up and make sure you were okay.” I smiled my thanks.
“Fine. I just got lost in some thought, is all.”
“About those two?”
“I’m not the only one thinking crazy thoughts?”
Howie sighed and sat down on the bed. He ran his fingers through his locks, a show of frustration.
“I don’t know what to think. I love and trust my wife, but when I walked in, they acted as if they were guiltily of something. In my presence, Brian was acting possessive, and he’s never like that. And when I kissed my wife, I felt her flinch. So, yeah, I guess I am thinking crazy thoughts.” I sat down next to him and placed my hand on his arm.
“I know this might sound strange, but I think there’s something serious going beyond just friendship between the two. I’ll give Terri the credit, she’s an amazing woman, and beautiful, and I know those are two traits that any man would like.”
“Thank you, you just made me feel totally wonderful.”
“I’m sorry Howie. But you know as well as I do, that many a men glace at your wife. Why should Brian be any different?”
“Because Brian has a wife who’s just as beautiful and just as amazing.” I rolled my eyes at that. He grabbed my chin and made me look in his eyes. “I have never known why you don’t buy that.”
“Because it’s not true! I’m okay, with a sense…”
“You’re beautiful! And in all truth, if Brian is willing to destroy something as special as the love you two share, than he’s more a of a fool than I thought.”
“As sad as it may seem, I don’t think Brian feels the same way anymore. This baby issue was the icing to the cake. I’ve been questioning his feelings for a while.”
“And you? How do you feel?”
“Brain, in truth, has been my only love. And when I fell, I fell pretty damn hard. There’s no point in the near future of my losing my feelings for him.”
“I’m sorry Theresa.” I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.
“If they are cheating, or wish to cheat, I know it would kill me, but I can’t see stopping it.” Howie glanced at me, a sad smiling playing upon his lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him a tight squeeze.
“Pardon me, but that’s my wife.” I stiffened a little bit and as I pulled away, I saw a fire burning in Howie’s eyes.
“Sorry man, we were just talking.”
“That’s fine. I would just prefer you to talk to her when she’s not walking around naked.” I glared at Brian. What a fuckin’ hypocrite he was.
“I’m not naked. And excuse me, please.” Howie threw me a smile as he walked out of the room. “You too Brian.”
“I’m your husband, I’ve seen you naked countless of times.” He strolled into the room, closing the door behind him.
“What are you doing?”
“Enjoying this wonderful view.” He laid down on the bed and raised an eyebrow as I glared at him. “What?”
“This is Terri’s and Howie’s house! Do not get any ideas in that sick mind of yours.” He laughed as he stood back up again and placed a brief kiss on my lips.

Chapter 7
*********************************************
Breathtaking; magical; unbelievable; passionate; and yet, bittersweet. I glanced at the woman beside me and frowned. Her brown hair fanned out on the pillow and she looked utterly delicious. In fact, if it hadn’t been for the fact that we had just spent the last fours arms finding ecstasy after ecstasy, I probably would have taken her again. But there was something strange about this love session. And that’s what had me thinking when I should be tired enough to fall straight to sleep. I turned on my side and looked at my wife. There was something about her when we got home. She walked upstairs, a fire in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in a while. But, at her very first touch, it was as if she was proving something, either to her or to myself. And it was then that a shock hit me. I loved my wife. Sure, I seriously wanted Terri, but that was all it was. That wasn’t good, I knew that, but at least I could deal with it. I sighed as I ran my knuckles over her cheek. She really was a unique woman who held my heart tighter than any other woman. I stumbled out of bed and pulled some shorts on. I walked downstairs and sat down at the kitchen table, my mind filled with thoughts. Wondering what I was gonna do with these new found feelings. Feelings I never guessed I would have, nor feelings I really wanted.
“Brian?” My eyes traveled to the doorway, and I saw her standing there, a questioning look in her eyes.
“What’s wrong hon?” She moved to the table and pulled the seat out that was next to me.
“I felt you weren’t in bed. So, I thought I’d come find you.” I sighed as I looked at her. Terri was beautiful; there was no denying that fact. But then again, in her own unique way, Theresa was breathtaking.
“I’m sorry. I just,” I paused, not quite sure what to say, “ have a lot on my mind.” She placed her hand on my arm, a gentle touch.
“Talk to me Brian. Be open.” I sighed and mentally shook my head.
“You know I love you, right?” I watched as she tried to swallow but she took a deep breath instead. So, she had doubts. Somehow, I would have guessed she would have.
“I know.”
“You know I’ve always been honest with you. And to tell you the truth, I won’t start now.” I took a deep breath and watched as her hands clenched into fists. “I kissed Terri tonight. That’s why you could feel the tension. It dawned on me that there was something about her that attracted me. But, I will swear to you here and now, that I won’t do anything to hurt you or our marriage. I love you too much to do that.” I glanced and saw at some point that my hands were grasping hers.
“That’s it? That’s what had me so worried?” She busted out laughing and a frown came upon my face. “Oh, sweetie, I don’t mean to laugh, but I was so worried that you didn’t want me no more. That you had taken a fancy to Terri. Oh, babe, I have those feelings to other men. And I know men have told me the same. Hell, Alex was one of ‘em.” My frown deepened at that. Sure, I could see someone else, but she wasn’t allowed to. And I didn’t quite relish the thought of other men liking my wife, especially someone who thoughts themselves to be a good friend. “Brian, don’t look so pissed off. It’s you I love; I will always love. You know this.” I smiled at her and laughed as she threw herself in my arms.

I held the phone between my ear and neck and rolled my eyes. Just sometimes…
“Yes Jewel. No, I told you.”
“But what about…”
“Jewel, sweetie, I’m serious. Terri said she would help. We have an appointment with my doctor to get everything settled.”
“Only if you’re sure. I wouldn’t trust those two.” I frowned. Jewel was a little, blonde at times, but she wouldn’t lie. And she most certainly wouldn’t say something without any justification.
“Why do you say that Jewel?”
“I’ve been talkin’ to Terri. She’s really, well, into him. She thinks he’s a wonderful man.”
“Oh, he is. And it doesn’t mater, they won’t do anything.”
“They’re already kissing according to Terri. And there was an underlying passion on both ends.” Attraction, I could deal with. Feelings like that can be gone. Passion, that was a highly charged emotion that you couldn’t easily wish away. It was one that grew and grew until it was so strong that it burned you just to release it. And once it did, you could never, EVER, get enough. “Theresa?”
“I’m sorry, Jewel. I got lost in my own thoughts. If you were me, would you trust those two?” She took a deep breath, thinking about the question.
“I don’t think I would. I mean, I would know my husband loves me, but sometimes, love can not compare to passion. Passion is to strong a feeling, to strong an emotion.” I sighed, completely understanding her.
“Thank you Jewel.”
“Oh, you’re more than welcome. And, I’m sorry. If you need anything, just call, I’d be more than happy to help you.”
“Thank you. I gotta go, bye.” I hung up after her quiet goodbye. I grabbed a drink and sat down on the couch, losing my mind in my thoughts. Do I trust them like I should? Yes, Brian had become more loving and that alone should have me confused, for he was hardly like that. I hung my head, wanting to scream, cry, throw something to get rid of my frustrations. In less than a few months, it had seemed my life was turning around into something I most certainly didn’t like and I had no way to turn back into my favor.

Chapter 8
“Howie, hey, I hate to bother you, but do you mind coming over? No, you don’t, great thanks.” I quickly hung up my cell phone and tossed it on the couch. Damn it, my life was falling apart and I had no way to get it back together. Brian claimed he loved me, that he wouldn’t leave me, but how could I fight with an all consuming passion. Granted, that was not what it was now, but that’s what it would be when you couldn’t have that which you wanted. I ran my hands through my hair, not having any idea about what to do, which is why I called Howie. Maybe, between the two of us, we could figure out something.
“Resa, you here?” I turned around at Howie’s voice, saw his troubled, yet concerned gorgeous brown eyes, and ran into his arms. He wrapped those oh-so-amazing arms around my waist and pressed his lips against my hair. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” I mumbled against his shoulder. Slowly, I pulled away and looked at him. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. I figured that you need a friend when you called. Figured you needed a shoulder to cry on too. Now, you wanna explain why you needed all of this though?” I walked out of the circle of his arms and at once felt the loss and the coldness. I sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to me.
“Have you talked to Terri?” He sighed and sat down.
“Not really. She seems distant. I try to touch her, kiss her, hold her hand, and she pulls away. That’s not like her at all. Usually, she longs and craves my affections.”
“Brian, well, no, he’s not the same. That night after dinner, we came home and made love, but it was almost bittersweet. And he’s always kissing me, which is something he’s never done. I mean, not like this.”
“What do you make of it?”
“Brian told me that, yes, he thought Terri was amazing, that a part of him lusted for her.”
“Son of a bitch!”
“But when I talked to Jewel, just a few moments ago, she said Terri called it passion. And we both know that passion burns until you satisfy it.” With that, Howie jumped off the couch and let out a string of curses.
“Why? Why does it have to by my wife that he wants? Doesn’t it matter that I have passion for her?” I sat back on the couch, feeling so hurt, so betrayed and oddly enough, so lonely. Hell, everyone wanted her, but what about me? I couldn’t even keep my own husbands passion blazing. “I don’t get it. I don’t understand.”
“Do you love her?” Howie quickly turned around and glanced at me.
“Damn, what is this doing to you?” I shrugged and looked away, but felt the couch move as he sat back down. “Look at me.” I slowly turned and smiled.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. What are you thinking?”
“That everyone wants her, longs for her and I never felt more alone. You love and adore your wife, you still long to take her in your arms, but who longs to love me? Hell, not even my husband, if we are being honest.”
“You can not think that way! Look at you Theresa, you are all around amazing.”
“Amazing does not make other people have passion.” I felt his hand on my shoulder right before I felt his lips press against mine. Some where, deep inside, this felt so wonderful, and so right. I moaned, wrapping my arms around his neck, bringing his body tighter against my body. Damn, those lips felt so good, his body felt so right, but in the back of my mind, I could hear that voice screaming at me that this was so wrong. I felt the tears flowing and so did he. He pulled way, looking at me, watching me.
“I’ve had many women do many different things when I kiss them, but crying is a first.” I had to smile at that.
“I enjoyed that Howie.”
“Yeah, I did too.”
“And we shouldn’t have. Just because Terri and Brian kiss, or want more, or whatever, doesn’t give us the right to hurt them.” His hand cupped my cheek, wiping away the tears.
“I truly hope Brian sees what an outstanding wife he has before it’s too late.”

Chapter 9
*********************************************
“Brian, what are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you Terri, may I come in?” Terri stepped aside and I walked through the entrance way. “Where’s D?”
“Got a call, said he had a friend in trouble. Sit, can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m fine.” I sat down and realized Terri sat down next to me. I could smell her delicate perfume, could feel her body heat, and all it made me want to do was wrap my arms around her and love her forever. Oh, shit, those thoughts, those very evil, mind blowing thoughts.
“Brian, are you okay?”
“Terri, I have a very serious problem and I have no idea how to handle it.”
“Why come to me? I’m not your wife.”
“No, you’re not. But, you’re part of the problem.” She frowned and cocked her head to the side.
“Please explain.” I turned on the couch so I was looking her dead in the eye.
“Terri, I can not get that kiss out of my head. I think about it, dream about it and I all I want is more. I don’t know what’s come over me, but, I just don’t know what to do.”
“You love Theresa, Brian. She’s your wife.”
“She is, but I’m not all too sure I still love her. I kiss her and I can’t help but compare the two of you, and in every way that I can think of, she’s not equal to you.” Terri jumped off the couch and walked over to the window, wrapping her arms around her waist.
“Brian, we can’t do this. You have to try everything you know of to get those thoughts out of your head.”
“Can you?”
“I have.” Terri pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, praying that Brian bought the lie she just uttered. She couldn’t forget it anymore than he could, and that was a bad sign. And yeah, Terri didn’t have the smartest idea by telling Jewel that she might have felt a little more for Brian than she let on, but now she had to fix that. And that meant getting Brian out of her house and keeping him out!
“Really?” Terri jumped as she realized Brian had walked behind her. Damn it all to hell, his breath sent shivers down her spine and goose bumps down her arms.
“Brian, what do you want me to tell you? That I like you, you know I do. That I want more? I can’t. I’m married and your married and neither one of us is willing to break the vows we took.” She saw the look that past his eyes, one of hunger, one of regret and one of pain. “Don’t Brian, don’t lie. You love Theresa. She’s your wife, the mo…, the woman you picked.”
“Yes, she is and yes I love her, but Terri, I want you like I’ve never wanted another woman, and that includes my wife.”
“So, what, you want a fling?” He dug his fingers through his hair and sighed.
“Hell if I know what I want. I want you, and…”
“You want her?” Brian turned tortured eyes to her. “Please, tell me Brian, you want her.”
“I do, I do.” She rose an eyebrow in sheer disbelief. She walked over to him and cupped his cheek, just lightly touching his lips.
“Goodbye Brian. Go back to your wife, show you love her and don’t want to lose her.”
“Will this change your mind about the baby?”
“Never. You guys are family, and I’m more than happy to help. Go.” She turned around and headed into the kitchen and heard the door close softly. She leaned against the counter, wanting to know what the hell she was doing letting him get away. Since her kiss with Brian, things weren’t quite right with Howie and they both realized that. She never explained to him what happened that night for she had no clue what he would say or do. Nor, she had no idea how to explain it without making it seem like she wanted more.

“Dr Lancaster, this is Terri and Howie Dorough, some of my best friends.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Please, step into my office.” Terri and Howie followed the doctor and Brian and I followed them. “Please, have a seat.”
“I hate to say it Doctor, but I’m really nervous.”
“No reason to be Terri. It’s a simple procedure actually. One, I’ve done quite a bit of. We just put you to sleep, so you don’t feel anything, stick Brian’s sperm inside, and let nature take its course.”
“What if nothing happens?”
“Than we try again. I’ve only had to repeat it once.”
“And it’s safe for all parties involved, correct?”
“Yes it is, Howie, no worries on that front.”
“And how do you get my sperm?”
“It works sorta like a sperm bank, you just ejaculate into a cup. I won’t need to put you under for anything,” the doctor told Brian. Terri glanced at me and smiled.
“Well, when do we start?” The doctor smiled at that.
“I’m glad to see that your friends are very willing to help, Theresa. Terri, we usually try to get the sperm in there around the time you start ovulating. It’s not any different than if you were trying to have your own kids, other than this is a medical thing.”
“Thank you. I’ll let you know when I should be starting.”
“Thank you. The nurse has some forms that I need you to feel out. Please, if you have any allergies to anything on that list, let me know. I might be able to change it up.”
“Thank you doctor.” I beamed my thanks and exited out with the group.
“Lunch, than?” Brian asked. I nodded my head and wrapped my hand around his. My dreams were coming true! Finally, after waiting forever it seemed. I just wasn’t sure if Brian was having the same dreams.

Chapter 10
“Yes, um, may I please speak with Dr. Lancaster. Yes, it’s Terri Dorough calling. Yes, I’ll hold, thank you.” Terri waited for a few more seconds before the doctor came on.
“Yes, Mrs. Dorough?”
“Um, I was reading over the list of medicines I’m gonna take, and there’s one I can’t have. I’m not sure what it is called, but it’s the one that will put me to sleep.”
“Oh, wow, that’s a major unforeseen problem.”
“How so?”
“If you can’t take that, than I can’t do the surgery. For what I’m doing, it’s the only one I can use. It’s the one thing I can’t change either.”
“I’m almost wondering if Theresa is just not meant to have kids.”
“I have no other ideas of how she can have a child. Terri, do you want to tell her, or shall I?”
“I’m positive you’re a great doctor, but I’m one of her best friends. Let me tell her, it might be a little easier to hear.”

“You seem distant, wanna talk?” I glanced up from my book and smiled at Brian.
“Nah, I’m fine, really.” Brian pulled the other chair out and sat down in it. He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his lips.
“Theresa, we used to be able to talk about whatever problems we had.”
“What makes you think I have a problem?” I asked, very gently pulling my hand away. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“We both know we’re just carefully stepping along this path, trying not to hurt each other’s feelings.” I sat my book down and glanced outside the window. The sun was shinning brightly and it was reflecting off the pool.
“Yes, I’m aware of that.”
“Damn it, talk to me than.”
“Talk to you? To you? To the one man who’s supposed to have my heart, my love, but won’t settle for it anymore? To the one man who wants his best friend’s wife? To the man who blew up at me for not being able to have kids and I’m trying to figure out anyway I can to get them and he’s still not happy? Is that the man you want me to talk to?” With that, I jumped out of the chair and ran into our bedroom. I laid down on the bed, letting the tears run down my face. I heard the door open a few seconds later and felt the bed shift.
“I can’t explain what’s going on, cause I’m not certain. I know I love you Theresa, but…”
“But you’re not sure if you want me anymore, right?”
“No, that’s not true. You still…”
“Brian, whatever you’re about to say, make sure it’s not a lie.” He sighed again. Proof enough to me that whatever he was gonna say would be a lie.
“You’re still attractive, don’t doubt that.” That made me rise up off the bed faster than if it was on fire.
“You have got to be the biggest bastard around, do you know that? You tell me that when you want another woman? I’m you’re wife Brian, not her! I’m supposed to be the one you want, the one you crave, the one you lust after, NOT HER!” I took a steadying breath and shook my head. “I think we need time apart.” His head quickly snapped in my direction.
“What did you just say?”
“Time apart, ya know? You move out, I move out? Something, anything.”
“Theresa, I love you. Moving away from you will not change that.”
“Brian, can you prove it still?” His lips crushed mine and his arms held me so tightly against his body. Okay, so his kisses were awesome, but deep down, we both felt that this was so not right anymore. He pulled away, gazed into my eyes and I’m the one who shook my head. “Stay here, I’ll stay at a hotel for a few days till I figure out where I can stay.” I pressed my lips against his softly and walked out of the room.

Chapter 11
***********************************
I leaned back, and rested the back of my head on the couch. Talk about watching you life going to hell. And in all truth, I truly had no one to blame but myself on this one. Theresa left, officially, two days ago and the house was just beyond quiet. I mean, it was huge for two, it was worse for one. I tried calling Resa, but she wouldn’t pick up. Hell, I didn’t even know where she was.
“Hey guys?” I opened my eyes to find Terri walking in. Oh, not good. I mean, I was alone, and almost single, she was alone, and well, not single.
“Here, Terri.”
“Where’s Resa, I sorta need to talk to her?”
“Well, your guess is as good as mine. In fact, if you see her, tell her I would like to talk to her.”
“Brian, what do you mean?”
“Two days ago, Resa and I sorta got into it and we established the fact that we weren’t meant to be together, or something to that effect. So, she walked out, said she was staying in a hotel. Haven’t heard from her since, and I’ve called her cell numerous times.”
“Are you tellin’ me you two are splitting?”
“No, not for sure yet. We’re just, sorta, well, separated for the time. Resa thinks I don’t love her anymore.”
“You told me the other day that was true, or almost true. Brian, when you met her, what made you fall in love with her?”
“The fact that she was both an angel and a devil. That’s she’s smart, funny, charming, yet stubborn. That she could cuss a mile wide, than turn beet red because she did.” Terri sat down and smiled. Damn, she was beautiful.
“It sounds like you might still love her.” I sighed and closed my eyes. Okay, part of my still loved her, that I knew. And maybe, part of me will always love her. But, the bigger part was falling in love with someone else. Was it even humanly possible to love two women at the same time?
“Terri, there will always be a place in my heart for Resa. But you know what, I’m starting to think that the place is just getting smaller. That my heart is starting to like someone else.” Terri looked away and I saw the frown.
“You can’t keep saying things like that Brian. I mean it. I’m in love with my husband and you are in love with your wife. Sure, we are attracted to each other, but, that’s it.” She stopped her lecture and stared off into space.
“Terri? Hello?” I waved my hand in front of her face and after a few seconds she snapped her eyes towards mine.
“I can’t do the surgery.” My eyes opened wide and I felt my heart plummet. Damn it, there truly went all shots of having kids with Theresa.
“Wow.”
“But, Brian, what if we could kill two birds with one stone?”
“Okay, I’m listening.”
“It’s obvious we want each other, what if the only way I could get pregnant was to be that one and only way?” My eyes blazed at the idea. A chance with Terri, and a chance to save my marriage. That was an amazing deal. Of course, it hadn’t dawned me just yet that it was certainly a deal with the devil himself. “Do you think they would go for it?” I got up off the couch and walked to the window, trying to think this through.
“Howie loves you without a doubt, right? He would do anything to make you happy?”
“Of course,” was her too quick reply.
“And Theresa wants kids. I know she loves me and if we can save our marriage, well, I can’t see why they wouldn’t go for it.” Terri jumped and ran to give me a huge hug. I lifted her in my arms and spun her around, realizing just how right she truly felt. I quickly put her down, but my arms could not let go of her. She smiled up at me and my head descended, my lips touching hers, and at that sweet moan, I crushed her body against mine. Damn, she felt so good, so…not good, actually. Not yet. If I was going to have Terri, it was not going to be without full consent. I pulled away, and her eyes fluttered open. She quickly stepped out of my embrace, grabbed her purse and opened the front door.
“I’ll call Resa. We’ll set up a time we can talk about all of this, okay?” I nodded my head and watched her leave. I love Resa, and I only love Resa. With that thought running through my mind, I stepped over to the DVD player, looking for the recording of our wedding. Maybe that would help some what.

“Brian?” She poked her head in and I glanced up, smiling.
“Hey sexy.” I walked over to her and kissed her cheek.
“What’s going on?” I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her up against me.
“Why are you asking?”
“Because Terri called me, said we were having dinner over here cause she needed to talk, rather, you two needed to talk to Howie and I.”
“We do, Theresa. So, I’m making dinner.” She pulled out of my embrace, and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest. I saw her smile and sniff the air.
“At least you haven’t burned the house down yet.”
“I take offense to that. You know I can cook.”
“When you want too, dang it.” She turned her head slightly, hearing the car engine stop. “I’m guessing our guests.”
“But of course. Now, will you be a good wife and go meet them?” She rolled her eyes but made her way to the front door. I took a swig of the beer, giving me as much liquid courage as I could get.
“Hey there man,” Howie said as he came into the kitchen, holding his wife’s hand.
“Hey D, hey Terri.” I shook D’s hand and gave Terri a quick hug.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Theresa asked as she opened up the fridge.
“Actually, babe, there’s a bottle of wine. Would you open that please?” She quickly glanced at me and I smiled. Yeah, this was one hell of a special occasion.
“Wine, huh? Dang, babe, I feel like honored guests,” Terri said, pulling out a seat at the table.
“But of course you are. And I hope no one minds lasagna. I made that, the bread and the salad.” Theresa leaned against the counter and stared. Oh yeah, she must have known something was up.
“Can I help with something, Brian?”
“Yeah, if you wanna start serving up the salad, that would be helpful, Terri.”
“I’m gonna put on a cd.” I turned as Resa sat the bottle of wine on the counter top and went out into the living room. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer that this went as planed. Of course, it could all blow up and I could lose my wife, but I loved her, I truly did, and we really had to get all problems out of the way now, in order to even go on.

Chapter 12
“Theresa?” I turned and smiled at Howie as I pulled the CD out of its case and put into the player.
“What’s up Howie?”
“You know something?” I sighed and put the CD on, noticing that the DVD was left on. I went to eject the DVD and turn it off. I gasped and Howie ran over. “What’s wrong?” I gently lifted out the DVD and handed it to Howie.
“That was our wedding. He was watching it.” I sat down on the couch and Howie sat down next to me.
“Wanna shed some light?”
“About tonight? I have no clue. But, I can tell you the last time he did cook, was almost five years ago. And he said he something important to discuss than too. That was night he proposed and that’s the only night he’s cooked. So, I can tell you that whatever tonight is about, it’s really important.”
“A divorce?”
“No, Brian wouldn’t do this, not with the two of you. ‘Sides, when I came in, all he’s used has been pet names. If it was a divorce he wanted, he would be calling me Theresa.”
“Any clue at all, ya know, might be helpful.” I glanced at Howie and had to laugh. Poor guy was so in the dark.
“Howie, in all honestly, I know about as much as you do right now. But, I say, whatever is going on, whatever happens, I’m at your side and you’re at my side, right?”
“You know it. You’re amongst my best friends.” I leaned over and gave him a quick hug.
“Great. Now, I know that smell, dinner is ready.” He offered me his hand as he jumped off the couch and I smiled. Sure, after all of this, at least I still had one really close friend. I suppose I really couldn’t ask for much more than that. I sighed at that thought. Sure I could, how about a happy marriage?

*************************************
I glanced around the table, noticing that conversation was nothing but small talk. It was tense, and I had to sigh. This was not how I wanted it to go, but I supposed, I really hadn’t hoped for much. I mean, obviously, this was rough on all parties involved. I caught Terri’s eye and she raised her eyebrow in silent question. I shifted slightly in my seat and nodded my head, which caught Theresa’s gaze. She set her fork down, took a sip of wine, wiped her mouth, and finally, spoke.
“There’s something very obvious that you two wanted to talk about. It’s plain to both Howie and I. How about we cut the bull and just spill about what you all wanted to discuss?” I cringed inside. Damn, she wasn’t happy, and I know that she wouldn’t be any happier after the start of the topic, but I could only pray that after the shock, she would understand the reasoning. Terri grabbed her glass of wine and took a deep drink, liquid courage indeed. Theresa folded her hands underneath her chin and glanced from Terri to myself. “I’m waiting, not to patiently though.”
“Well, I went over the list, like your doctor told me, Theresa.”
“I’m glad. Please, do go on.”
“Theresa, this is difficult.” Theresa quickly shot darts in my direction and I removed my hand from her arm. Oh, if looks could only kill.
“There was one medication she wanted to give that I couldn’t take. It’s the one and only thing she can not swap out.”
“Are you saying the operation will be a no go?” Howie asked. I glanced at him and than glanced at Theresa.
“Yes, that’s what I’m saying. But, there is another solution, probably the last one that anyone can come up with.”
“I’m thinking the point might just be mute right now, Terri.” My eyes flew to hers and I saw her fighting to keep back the tears. I shook my head at Terri not to go on for I knew that her next words could just be the death of my marriage, but Terri never once glanced in my direction.
“It’s obvious to everyone, even to those outside of this group right now, that Brian and I are, well, attracted to one another. I won’t lie to either of you that we’ve kissed a couple of times, and rather enjoyed it.”
“And all of us are adults and know that attraction and lust can be permanently bad to any relationship if it’s not settled.”
“What are you saying, Bri?” I glanced at Terri, and shot a quick look at Resa, praying the words would come out right.
“The only way Terri can get pregnant by me, is for me to sleep with her, so we’re suggesting that you two let us have one night together.” Theresa jumped out of her chair, glaring at me and than at Terri before she ran out of the room.

Chapter 13
I slipped my shoes off and rolled my jeans up, slipping my feet inside the pool. I closed my eyes, feeling like such a failure. Sure, I had Brian, but what had it cost me? I loved him, will always love him, and yet he just asked me to sleep with another woman! To my face and in front of her husband! How do you respond to that? It was obvious that Brian didn’t want a divorce, that he was still trying to save this worthless marriage, but, it was killing me.
“May I join you?” I wiped the tears away and nodded my head. He did what I did and slipped his feet in the pool. “Feels nice, huh?”
“Please don’t make small talk. I’m not sure I can handle it right now.”
“Do you love him?” I turned my head in his direction, and tried so hard to fight the tears, but they didn’t listen to my will. His arm slipped around my shoulders and I rested my head on his shoulder.
“More than anything.”
“Do you want to make your marriage work?”
“As badly as its shot, yes I do.”
“Do you want kids?”
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if I didn’t.” I quickly glanced up and stared into his brown eyes. “Do you still love her?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Your marriage is like mine, right now. Do you want to make it work?”
“And like you, even though it’s rocky, yes I do.”
“Deep inside, I understand what they want to do. I know that only Terri and you are comfortable enough to do this for us. But, I’m worried Howie.”
“What about, beautiful?”
“What if one night isn’t enough for them?”
“Than that’s a stipulation we have to place. If all parties agree, they get one night. They can take those twelve hours and do with as they choose. If after those twelve hours they want more, we file for divorce and they can certainly have each other.” I closed my eyes, trying once more to stop the flow. How did my marriage come to this? What did I do? Or, what didn’t I do?

*************************************
I walked to the sliding glass door and saw her resting her head on his shoulder, and it cut me to the core. Yes, I know that sounded like me being a hypocrite, and yes, I probably was one, but I loved her. There was no doubt in my mind. These last couple of days of not having her around proved how I couldn’t live without her. Yet, on that same scale, I know that if I didn’t touch Terri, I would truly lose all chance of having an everlasting love with Theresa. I slowly opened the door, saw them both tense up and hated to disturb the scene.
“Um, may I talk to, Theresa, D?” He quickly glanced in my direction and I cringed, for the umpteenth time tonight. Damn, talking about several deaths in one night.
“It’s okay Howie, I promise I won’t kill him.” Howie placed a kiss on her cheek and I had to turn my head. Hell, that wasn’t even affection and it ate me to the core. Howie walked past, muttering something under his breath, but right now, I just didn’t care. I turned to look at him but he hadn’t glanced back. I saw Theresa get up and walk over to the lounge chairs. “What do you want, Brian?”
“To talk to you, if you don’t mind.” She raised her eyebrow at that and I had to smile.
“About what?”
“Come on, don’t play stupid. You know what about.” I pulled the chair in front of her out and gazed into her eyes.
“What do you want from me Brian? I tired to be your perfect wife, tried to be everything you wanted. Yet, you can’t even do me the honor of lusting after someone I DON’T KNOW. No, it’s has to be my best friend, huh?”
“Do you think I wanted it? Baby, I love you. I want to make you happy, and I love the fact that you have made me happy. You’ve gone to the moon and back.”
“And now you want this?” I grabbed her hand, surprised she didn’t try to pull it away. Absently, I twisted her wedding band. I brought her hand up to my lips and gently kissed the back of it.
“I don’t have the right to ask for more, I know this, Theresa. I feel so selfish, for it’s me wanting all of this, and all the reasons for doing it, are mine alone.”
“I want kids just as much as you do. Although, I am more than willing to adopt.”
“I know, and I’m selfish, ‘cause I’m not. I know there’s nothing I can say other than I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I just feel that I won’t be a great husband if I can’t stop these feelings now.”
“So, stop them. Are they that bad that you have to touch her? That you have to sleep with her?” I turned tortured eyes to her and I saw the tears slip quietly down. Damn it, the last thing I wanted, needed, was to make my wife cry. “Am I not good enough, Brian?” My heart twisted at those quiet words. I feel down to my knees in front of her.
“It’s not you; it’s not you at all. You truly have been the world’s best wife. I can’t explain it, and I’m not sure how it got this bad, but I know that could just be the worst husband if I don’t get this.”

Chapter 14
How utterly horrible did he sound? This was always about Brian. Brian wanted the kids, Brian wants Terri. And here I am, giving him my heart, my soul, and at this point in time, that was just not enough. Fine, if he wanted her, let him have her. But, I was not going to be alone that night! Yeah, right. Who the hell was I kidding? I couldn’t cheat on him. I loved him too much, cherished him too much. His lips brushed my arm, his hands caressing my thighs, when the hell did his hands get up there? Damn it, talk about smooth talking someone.
“Brian.”
“Hush, just, let me enjoy this.” His lips moved along my neck, and a small moan escaped. Oh, my body was betraying my mind! How dare it. I closed my eyes, felt his breath against my lips, and felt his wonderful lips against mine. My arms wrapped around his waist and his fingers entangled in my hair. I pulled away, long enough to catch my breath, but to ask a very serious question.
“Just what are you doing?” I asked, realizing what could be going through his mind.
“Enjoying the moment.”
“We have guests, you are not supposed to be enjoying anything, actually.”
“They know we’re talking, and of course, some kissing and caressing is involved.”
“Yes, that I can understand, but it seems to me that you have gone way beyond that.”
“Hmm, and if it really bothered you, you truly would have stopped me, we both know that.”
“Fine, but I’m serious…”
“Let’s go for a swim.” I glanced up into those ocean blue eyes and just about lost it. It certainly seemed like forever since I saw that gleam in his eye. I froze, half tempted to take him up on that offer, but the other half knowing that if anything was to happen, it would be very improper hostess rules. “Don’t think about it!” With that, Brian pulled away and yanked his shirt off. I gazed at him and had to gasp. Damn him, he still had me staring at him. “Although, I love you staring, are you getting in?” He pulled of his shoes and jeans and dove into the pool. I glanced into the living room, seeing no Terri or D. I pulled my clothes off and jumped into the pool. I surfaced right in front of him and had to smile.
“Didn’t think I would?”
“Wasn’t certain, how’s that?” he asked as his hands slipped around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. “I think I like this skinny dipping thing.”

“Are you gonna talk?” Howie pulled the seat out and sighed.
“Yes, let’s talk. Let’s discuss how betrayed I feel or how very wrong this is.”
“You thought it was a good idea to help out our friends.”
“I’m not denying that. I just don’t recall suggesting it like this.” This time, it was Terri’s turn to sigh. Yes, she understood what it meant, better yet, she knew exactly what he meant.
“It’s not my fault…”
“You right, it’s not, but the problem is that you want him, Terri. You are supposed to my wife, love only me…”
“I do love only you Howie. You are the only one I ever loved.”
“Then what’s up with Brian?”
“Brian, he’s, well,” she glanced over at Howie and closed her eyes. “I’m not sure how to explain it to make sense.” Howie crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair.
“Start tryin’, because I’m really curious,” Howie said, watching Terri. She ran her hand through her hair and let out a long breath.
“I guess the best way to sum it up would be that…I don’t know, I just, or rather, it was just lust. It just happened. I don’t know how. It was just one kiss and than I couldn’t stop thinking about that, and it just grew.” Howie closed his eyes, not exactly understanding how from one kiss it grew to such full grown lust. “I know it’s not making sense, it doesn’t make sense to me either.”
“And after the one night? Will that be enough to satisfy you or I’m gonna be living with a wife who wants to screw another man?”
“That’s not fair Howie.”
“No, the shit your doing to both me and Theresa is not fair!”
“You’re asking me how I’m gonna feel when it’s done. I don’t know, I won’t know until I’ve tried it.”
“And there’s no hope for us if you don’t try it. Just like there’s no hope for them. Wow, between the two of you wanting each other so badly, you could destroy two marriages. Susie home wreckers indeed, huh?”
“You have every right to be angry.”
“No, Terri, I’m not angry, I’m betrayed. I’m ashamed, hurt, but not angry. You’re a wonderful woman, smart, funny, warm, caring, I can understand how other men want you. It’s the same way for me. I just thought I would always be enough for you. Now, here it is, and you’re tossing it into my face that I’m not enough. And you’re clearly stating you don’t know if I will ever be enough. What if I did that to you? What if I told you I love you, you’re the only one for me, but in the bedroom, you just don’t cut it? How would that make you feel?”
“Betrayed.”
“That’s where the two of us are coming from. This was supposed to be about giving them a baby to call their own and here we are discussin’ you sleeping with another man and for me to give my okay about it.” Howie pushed away from the table and went to the window, watching the couple outside. “I’ve never said no to anything you wanted, so I won’t start now. But, I am telling you this only once, you have twelve hours to make the most of it with Brian, and if after that, you want more, I will certainly file the papers.” With that said, he turned around to face her. She wiped the tears away, feeling quite a few different emotions. She was elated that Howie agreed, but scared because she didn’t know if twelve hours was enough to sustain her lust. She loved Howie, couldn’t picture life without him, and if she couldn’t control her emotions, she was on the edge of losing him.

“Are you okay?” I glanced up from the book I was reading and smiled at Howie.
“Wonderful, you?”
“Alive. How’s the book?” I closed it, glanced at the cover and shrugged.
“Couldn’t really tell you. I think I’ve reread the same line now for the last 15 minutes. Deep down, I don’t want a baby at the cost of losing my husband, Howie.” He sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I rested my head on his shoulder, savoring the comfort he was willing to give me.
“And no offense Theresa, I don’t want to give you a baby if it’s going to cost my wife.” I glanced up at him and chuckled. “What?”
“That wouldn’t offend me, trust me. And don’t be worried about my feelings. You’re in the same boat I’m in.”
“Do you know where they went?” I slowly shook my head. Here it was, two weeks after that wonderful dinner party and all I knew was they were staying at a hotel. Hell, if it wasn’t even in town, I didn’t know. And I guess that had its pros and its cons. I couldn’t go slamming on the door, begging them to stop; yelling that I didn’t want kids that badly.
“I don’t even know if they’re in town. My guess would be no.”
“Great, so we can’t stop them.” I glanced up at him and smiled.
“I know it hurts, but if we truly wanted to stop them, we would have said no.”
“Do you know I hate it when you’re right?”
“Yup, I do.”

Chapter 15
********************************************
I slid the key card in and let Terri go in before me. We glanced around the room, both of us rather nervous. And yet, neither one of us should have been. This was what we both wanted. I watched her as she sat her bags down and her whole body screamed many things. And all those emotions were more than understood. I was in a hotel room for 12 hours, in another town, with a woman that was not my wife. In fact, she was my best friend’s wife. I sighed and she turned around and smiled at me.
“You okay?” I sat my things by the door and walked over to the bed.
“Does this feel wrong to you?”
“On so many levels. Yes, I’m cheating, but I look at like this. You want a baby; I’m just the tool getting used for that. And that by me doing it now, rather than later, I’m saving Howie the heartache that will happen.” I glanced over at her and she smiled again. I held out my hand and she took it, walking up to me. I couldn’t help but gaze at her. She was a unique woman, and yeah, maybe I was jealous and had some envy. But tonight was not thinking about that. It was about enjoying this amazing woman for the next 12 hours. My hands caressed her cheeks, longing to caress all her body, to kiss, touch, lick, and love all those wonderful places that only certain men have been lucky to see. “What’s on your mind?” My eyes caught hers and I had to catch my breath. I really had no clue how she got under my skin. I was supposed to be the happily married man, how did she capture me?
“How did you become such an enchantress?” Her grin turned into a smirk and I knew I was thoroughly going to enjoy these next few hours. Her lips attacked mine, her hands running themselves through my hair. I moaned as her teeth tugged on my lower lip, sending multiple shivers racing down my spine. Her lips trailed along my jaw, down my neck, gently nipping, making the moans escape louder. She pushed me back on the bed, straddling my hips, grinning down at me. Her hands snaked under my shirt, slowly pushing it up, her lips, teeth, and tongue torturing all areas of skin exposed to her eyes. Oh damn, this next 12 hours would be well worth it.

“Wanna watch a movie?” I glanced up at Howie, grateful for having him, no matter if it was difficult for the both of us or not.
“Yeah. Go ahead and pop whatever you want in and I’ll make some popcorn. Want a soda or a beer?”
“Hmm, a beer. Tonight just seems the night to be drinking.” I smiled at that as I made my way into the kitchen. I grabbed a bag of popcorn and threw it into the microwave. I rubbed my eyes, sighing as I made my way over to the fridge. I grabbed the can for D and grabbed myself a wine cooler. I opened it, and took a long swig from the bottle. “Starting early are we?” I laughed as I set the can on the counter and he walked over to it, popped it open and took a deep drink.
“Oh, and I’m starting early.” He shrugged and walked over to me, smiling as he cupped my cheek. His eyes held mine and I couldn’t help but fall under that sensual spell. Without a second thought, his head descended and his lips brushed mine. Woah, was Terri holding out on me here. Those lips were lethal and should be deemed illegal! He pulled away and I shook my head. No, we couldn’t go down this road. We couldn’t do what they were doing.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t say that. Let’s just go watch that movie, huh?” He smiled, grabbed a bowl and poured the popcorn, grabbing my hand as we left the kitchen.

***********************************
She pulled back, she did! How she managed to pull herself away, she wasn’t certain, and to be honest, I wasn’t either. She shook her head and slowly removed herself.
“Terri?”
“Brian, this…what you said…I just don’t know.” I placed my hands on her shoulders, sighing.
“I didn’t want to ruin the night.”
“You’re not ruining it. I just, I love you and Theresa, you two are my best friends. I just don’t want to lose what we have as friends simply because I can’t control my hormones.” I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.
“Theresa won’t stop being your friend.” I watched as Terri wiped the tears and turned to smile at me.
“The closeness that her and I once had won’t be there. If the situation was reversed, I wouldn’t be close to her.”
“What do you mean?”
“Can you picture Theresa sleeping with Howie?” A jolt shot through my body. Yes, it was okay for me to do, it was not okay for her. I knew they were friends, it probably wouldn’t even surprise me if he was there. But, what…they…no, she was faithful. I shook my head, answering Terri’s question. She took a deep breath and I turned my eyes to her. “It’s a long night. I’m going to go freshen up.” She grabbed her bag and headed into the bathroom. I heard her start the faucet on the sink and heard the bag fall on the ground. Damn it. This was supposed to be about me and her and yet, I was thinking about my wife. Maybe that was good. Maybe that was a sign that I shouldn’t be doing this. I got off the bed, grabbed my cell phone and started to dial the number, only forgetting that the phone had died. Yes, it was on purpose! Terri cleared her throat and I quickly turned around, seeing her in nothing but the thinnest of a red satin gown. I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling the raging hard on.

Chapter 16
I lifted my head up, confused for a moment as to why I was on the couch. I heard a snore and noticed Howie right next to me. I shook my head, and made my way outside. I glanced at the clock on the wall, noticing that it was into the fourth hour. What a hell of a way to track the time for this night? I pulled out one of the chairs, sat down on it, and scooted the other over to rest my feet on it. Something deep inside me wanted to hurt Brian the way he was hurting me. And I knew Howie was feeling the same way. But, I loved Brian, and I knew D loved Terri, regardless of the stupid shit they were currently pulling. Yes, if you love them, you love all their faults, even the really big and stupid ones.
“It’s cold.” I smiled and motioned for him to sit down.
“It’s not that bad.” He pulled the seat out next to me and glanced at the pool.
“Do you even think for a moment they thought about us?” I shrugged, wanting to believe deep down that they did. That their sense of moral judgment was there, that they knew this was wrong.
“You know, I know it’s wrong, but I want to hurt him. I want to make him seethe.”
“He is.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know Brian. If he thought, for one minute, that you were screwing around with someone else, he would kill that man and than kill you.”
“Oh, I get it. He could do it, but I can’t.” Howie chuckled but nodded his head. “I don’t understand how that works.” Howie grabbed my hand and squeezed it. After a few moments, I turned and looked at him. “It’s pretty amazing how men can be like that.” I shook my head and smiled. “I don’t know about you, but I can’t go back to sleep. And two in the morning is too late to go out.”
“I take it you wanna do something?” I glanced around and nodded my head to the pool.
“Let’s take a swim.”
“At this hour? What if someone sees us?” I rolled my eyes at that.
“Hello Howie, my husband is a Backstreet Boy. He prides himself on having no one else around!” Howie laughed at that. “In the guest room is some trunks that you left. Meet you down here in ten.” He laughed again, but quickly jumped out of his chair and made a dash up the stairs.

“You okay?” I glanced up at D and smiled.
“Yup.” I winked and pushed him into the pool, laughing at the look that came across his face.
“Come here, your going to get it.” I saw him swim to the edge rather quickly and ran around to the other side. But I soon realized that I was no match for him. He grabbed my ankle and I saw that evil glint, right before he pulled me into the water. I came up sputtering and than saw him in my sights. “Hey, you started it!”
“Yeah, and your point?”
“I’m only playing fair.” I quickly swam over to him and dunked him. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and I was quickly pulled under. When I came back up, I was staring right into those gorgeous brown eyes. I felt his hands still resting on my waist, I could feel the water gently hitting us, and I could also feel the heat of his breath on my lips, right before they took over mine. I closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around his neck. I moaned, causing him to deepen the kiss. His hands massaged up my back, his fingers slowly bringing down the straps to my suit. His lips left mine, trailing down my neck and my fingers entangled themselves in his hair, and yet again, I started to cry. He heard it, I know he did, for I felt him stop his wonderful torture and rest his head on my chest. “It’s wrong.”
“Terri is the biggest fool around, Howie. I won’t lie and say you’re not amazing. Hell, your kisses alone are turning me on.” He pulled his head up and caught my gaze.
“So are yours.”
“But that’s not enough.” He slowly shook his head. “Love is what fuels our passion. And it’s always nice to be wanted, but you’re not my husband and I’m not your wife.”
“Do we tell them?” I thought this over and a smirk crept over my lips.
“Not even close. We know full well what they’re doing. I think it’s only our revenge to let them think what they want.”
“You’re evil, do you know that?”
“Yup, I also know that’s one of the reasons why he married me.”

Chapter 17
***********************
I massaged her shoulder, smiling as I heard her contentment. My body was calling for rest, or at least that’s what half of it wanted. The other half, the other half wouldn’t have minded another few more hours. But, if truth be told, I could turn my back on Terri and walk into the loving arms of my wife and not think twice about the woman currently lying at my side. She shifted, raised herself on her elbow and smiled down at me.
“We have to go, huh?”
“Soon.” Her fingers traced themselves over my face and she smiled.
“Thank you.”
“Why are you thanking me?”
“For a wonderful night.” I smiled as I leaned up and captured her lips again. I could feel…nothing. My passion and lust were fine. She pulled away and sadly smiled. “Is this it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“We get the most amazing 12 hours and we just go back to our lives?”
“Do you want more?” She sat up in bed, wrapping the sheet around her. She thought it over for a few moments and shook her head. “You love Howie. It’s so evident and even the feelings you had for me never rivaled what you felt for him. He knew, I knew, and you know it. You’re an amazing woman, Terri. But you don’t want to destroy what you have for your husband over this. Nor do I want to destroy what I have with my wife. I love Theresa, with all my heart and soul, and this little, affair, really put that in focus.”
“I love you Brian. I know that’s odd, but I think deep down, I do love you. Maybe just a tad more than a friend should.” I leaned over and kissed her bare shoulder.
“I think I feel the same. And from here on out, we only hope for the best.”
“For the best.”

“I didn’t think you’d be here.” His head turned, and I leaned around him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled at Terri and Brian.
“Howie, well, he was just here. He stayed the night, actually.” I saw the look that crossed both their faces and Howie had to turn around, raising his eyebrow. I shook my head slightly and watched as both of them got even more upset. “Speaking of help, we were about to go out. Actually might catch a movie and some breakfast. Or, I don’t know.” I shrugged, loving the rage that was flashing in Brian’s eyes.
“Oh, you were?”
“Yeah. I would ask if you wanted to join, but I figured it’s probably been a long night and you both might want to catch up on some sleep.” I smiled my most charming smile, which made Brian curl his lip slightly. Oh, I was loving every minute of this.
“You’re right. I probably should. But, can you guys wait on the movie? I wouldn’t mind going. Terri, you wanna go?”
“Yeah, sounds like fun. Group outing.” Brian turned, thinking he had the upper hand. “I’m going to put the stuff in my car sweetie.” Terri quickly turned on her heel, throwing a look at the man on the stairs. He watched her walk out, than turned and waved at me.
“I’m jumping in the shower.” I nodded my head and turned to Howie as Brian walked out of the room.
“We have to give them hell.”
“I’m game. Are we sure?” I cocked my head to the side and just looked at him.
“Howie, they have to be certain that the path they choose is the right one. If she loves you like she says, than this thing with Brian is over. She’ll get upset because she’ll think you’re having an affair.”
“And you?”
“The same thing goes for Brian. It won’t take long, trust me.” He reached over and squeezed my hand.
“I at least hope she’s pregnant.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You know, for everyone’s sake, I hope she is too.”

Chapter 18
Four hours later, I bounded down the stairs and glanced around, seeing no one but Brian. I walked over to the couch and sat down on the opposite end.
“Weren’t they coming?”
“On their way.” I glanced at the clock and frowned.
“The movie we wanted to see is starting pretty soon.”
“I thought we were picking a movie when we got there?”
“We can Bri. It’s just the movie we were talking about is one D and I wanted to see.”
“Oh, I gotcha.” He smiled at me and patted the seat next to him. “You know, I won’t bite.” ‘Hmm, that’s to be debatable,’ my mind wanted to scream.
“I know. But…” I stopped as the doorbell sounded. “They’re here. Let’s go.” I walked over to him and pulled him off the couch. He smiled as he got up and wrapped his arm around my waist.
“You’re excited. Why?”
“My gosh, when’s the last time we went to the movies? Even as a group? It’s been forever.” I finally opened the door and smiled at both Terri and Howie. “Kay, you wanna drive D, or…”
“No, no. That’s fine, I can.”

******************************
“How did we get stuck buying the popcorn and sodas?” I glanced at her and shrugged.
“Does this seem, I don’t know, strange?” She stopped glancing at the menu and turned to face me. She glanced around her and pulled on my arm, out of ear shot of anyone else.
“It’s not me. They’re being way too nice, right?”
“I know. It was odd, I even touched her and she didn’t flinch.”
“Do you think something happened last night?” I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head.
“I…Theresa loves me, she wouldn’t cheat.”
“You love her, and yet you did.” She stopped and crossed her arms. “They’re just being way too easy on us. I would be slapping her and pulling her hair out if that was me.”
“But if they were guilty, it would be easier to act so nonchalant about it, right?”
“That’s my take on this. I just don’t get it otherwise.” I glanced around; making sure no one was still nearby.
“Do we have the right to be upset if they did?”
“Well, really, no. But, there was other reasons behind what we did.” I just looked at her and she sorta smiled. “It’s true. Yes, the biggest issue was getting rid of some pent up passion, which we did. I only want Howie and you only want Resa. Can they honestly say the same?”
“I don’t know.”
“And there lays the problem. Neither one of us knows for sure what happened. I can’t ask him.”
“And I refuse to ask her. As horrible as it sounds, I just rather skim over the top on this…”
“As if it never happened, right?”
“Does that make me horrible?”
“No Brian, it just makes it complicated. We can’t just skim over this. It happened. If we want any type of relationships with our loves here, we have to handle this.” I knew she was right. I just really didn’t want to admit it. Yes, personally, if I could toss it in the forget pile, I would be happy. Granted, it would never be forgotten. And I know that anytime I was making love to my wife, it’s quite possible that Terri could come to mind. No, she was right, it was just way better to deal with this now. Although, I really didn’t want to deal with the answer they could give for last night.

Chapter 19
Two weeks! Two weeks is what it’s been since this stupid stunt went down. Were things better? Eh, maybe, I guess, depending on how you looked at it, of course. Howie and I were doing exactly what we planned to do. We planted all ideas that we could. We really wanted to make them think we slept together. Was it working? You bet your ass it was. If I got a phone call, and it was Howie, I went into another room. Oh, that just made Brian mad. And than if I went out with Howie, just me and him, oh, that had Brian snarling. But, my favorite was when Howie came over, just to stop by. He would only be there for just a few moments, but it was enough for Howie to check up on me, to tell me he was thinking of me, something small, but something that would send Brian through the roof! And from the comments I was getting through the grape vine, Terri was getting more and more pissed off as well. Serves them right, if you ask me. I guess it was mean. But did I care? No. Did Howie? No. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Brian. But yeah, I wanted him to hurt like I was hurting. At least he only thought he knew. I knew for sure what he did that night. And, as the days went by, it got harder and harder on him. I mean, he really didn’t know, and he sure as hell didn’t have the courage to ask what happened. I would have thought he would have asked. Maybe he just didn’t want to fight for our relationship anymore. Than again, that’s why Howie and I started this. We needed these two people to see the truth there. If they loved us, they would fight. If not, I was more than willing to sign the papers. Okay, not more than willing, but I wanted him happy. If he didn’t find happiness with me anymore, than so be it, let him find it elsewhere. I looked at the blank screen in front of me, not wanting to watch any movie or any TV. I just needed peace, peace that just really wasn’t coming.

**********************
Two weeks, and yes, all passion was gone. Although, there still was nothing about the fact that Terri was pregnant or not. And yes, we avoided each other. But, Theresa and Howie hadn’t, and I wasn’t certain if I trusted them. Ha, talk about a quick turn around. This was supposed to be about us, me and Terri. Than, we leave Howie and Resa alone for one night and no one flippin ass knows what happened. Er, rather, those two did, but they weren’t telling anyone. I raised my arm and covered my eyes, trying to sleep. I needed sleep, my body was telling me that. But, for the last few nights, it just wasn’t happening. I tossed and turned, which kept Resa up, that I know. Could be why she started sleeping in one of the guest rooms. I sighed, turned on my side and closed my eyes, letting my mind drift away…

…I woke, slightly dazed and confused. I glanced around, hearing no one down stairs. I rubbed my eyes and than glanced at my watch, seeing it to be a little after ten. Well, when the hell did I start sleeping the day away? I shook my head, grabbed a tee shirt and threw it on as I made my way downstairs.
“Resa?” I still heard nothing. Well, that was slightly unusually. She was always up and about, especially at this time. “Resa?” I called again, and again, nothing. I made my way into the kitchen, the living room, and the office, and no sign of her. Nothing. It was as if she disappeared. I walked back into the living room, glancing at the far wall, stopping in my tracks. There were no pictures. Nothing! The wall was empty. Where the hell was my wedding pictures? All the pictures of Resa and me on our mini vacations. Hell, the one of us on our honeymoon? I glanced down at my left hand, seeing no wedding band. I walked over to my phone, and quickly dialed her cell phone number, but the message I got said the number was disconnected. I quickly hit the off button, than dialed Howie. Maybe he might shed some light.
“Hello?”
“Howie?”
“The one and only. Bri? Man, it’s been like months since I’ve talked to you. I got a call from the reporter the other day, asking if Backstreet was going to get back together. I told her I just didn’t know.”
“Wait, back this up. Get back together?”
“Yeah. It’s been like a year since we’ve split. Don’t you remember?”
“No. I don’t remember anything.”
“Are you okay?” I ran my hand over my face, taking a deep breath.
“Howie, I don’t know. I don’t remember anything, really. There’s no pictures on my wall of Resa and I. I can’t get a hold of her.”
“Did you think you would be able to?”
“She’s my wife!”
“No, Brian, she’s your ex wife! You really don’t remember, do you?”
“I’m guessing not.”
“Look, I’ll be over there, so long as you don’t kill me.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I’ll explain when I get there. See you in a bit.” With that he hung up, leaving me alone and confused once more. Broke up? The Backstreet Boys broke up? Why would we do that? We were going so strong. We still had the fans support, and we were gaining more fans every day. I just didn’t understand. Nor could I understand why I had no wife. I loved Resa, just because of one mistake! Sure, it was stupid, that’s why it was a mistake, but give me a break. Couldn’t Resa see that it was her that I loved? I walked over to the door as the doorbell started to ring, surprised to find Howie there.
“Why didn’t you just come in? You usually do.” He gave me a strange look before he walked in.
“Brian, have a seat. You may not like what your about to hear.”

Chapter 20 (Still in the dream)
“Please don’t start this off that way.”
“I know of no other way. Anyways, let me begin from the start. You recall that night with Terri?”
“Yeah. It felt like yesterday, but I’m guessing it was a while ago.”
“It was. Almost a year and a half. Anyways, we were out, the four of us, when things sorta went awry. Terri and Resa were talking, trying to figure out how to get their friendship back on track when Resa spilled that her and I slept together.”
“YOU SLEPT WITH MY WIFE!?”
“Sit down. Just, don’t talk until I’m done, or this time it’ll be me kicking your ass. Anyways, Resa told Terri that and Terri got all pissed off. She said she was only helping you two out by trying to have a kid. What Resa did was only out of spite. Which, was not true.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Brian, shut it! Really!” Howie rolled his eyes, regretting coming here, but for some reason, he felt compelled to explain all this to Brian. “As I was saying, they sorta got into it, and there was some name calling, and I’m pretty sure Resa slapped Terri. Which, really just ended their friendship, there was no turning back. But, as for you and me, we tried to over come our differences. After all, we had the group; the last thing we wanted to do was split up over some stupid ass thing like this.”
“I wouldn’t call this stupid ass, thank you.”
“BRIAN!” I closed my eyes, trying to keep my mouth shut. “So, they were in a separate room, and we heard them. We tried to get them to stop, to calm down and talk when we were all cool, but you told me that I needed to control my wife. That pushed me past my limit. So, than I yelled back that you were so damn good at that, you should do it. You told me, in front of your wife, if you had another chance, you would take it. Terri, upset that I would say that, and pissed off at Resa, grabbed you, and kissed you. Right after that, she marched over to me and said we were through, that she wanted a divorce. For two days, no one spoke to each other. AJ tried calling the both of us, because we were due in the studio and didn’t come in. I some what explained what was going on, but he said that we needed to work it out. You hated me, I hated you, and how could we work that out?”
“How indeed.”
“So, after a couple more days, Resa said she couldn’t take it anymore, had the papers drawn up. She never really told me why, but Terri said Terri was in love with another man, that’s why she needed out. I always thought it was you, but when you got divorced, and she didn’t marry you, than I wasn’t certain.”
“Resa never said why she left?”
“Jewel mentioned Resa was pregnant, but she wanted nothing to do with you anymore. So, if she was, I don’t know. No one was heard from her or Terri.”
“This is all so strange. Resa knew I wanted kids, why wouldn’t she stay?”
“I’m only getting second hand information. And Jewel isn’t always reliable. But, she said that Resa just didn’t want it anymore. You still wanted Terri and that those 12 hours just wasn’t enough. She refused to go on fighting.”
“Terri was amazing, but I loved Resa. I mean, I still love her. Even after all the stupid shit I do.” Howie could only shrug. “That really doesn’t explain how BSB split.”
“Ah, yes. That was pretty interesting. We were talking, on MTV, something about the greatest top videos. Anyways, we were talking before they were getting ready to air and the two of us were far away from each other. Both of our marriages failed, and it was both of our faults. More so yours, but I won’t go there.” I gritted my teeth, but in all truth and fairness, yes, the blame could land on me. “Anyways, you said that if I knew how to please my wife, she would still be there. And I yelled back that if you could keep your dick in your pants, than we wouldn’t even have this problem. Which, that pissed you off, and than I said it was all your fault because you were an asshole. You screwed your friendship and just royally pissed on your marriage. That got a right hook and I had a black eye for a few days, thank you. But, I didn’t go down without a fight. So, we took a couple swings at each other, Nick was trying to pull you off, and AJ was trying to stop me. But, all of us knew it was pointless. There just wasn’t any help; there wasn’t anything we could do.” I held my head in my hands. It was one flippin ass night, how the hell did THAT turn into THIS! I had no job, no friends, no wife, no kids. Nothing. I ruined my life over 12 hours. Was the sex hot? Yes. But, damn, if the truth be told in all of that, it was missing something. That something would be the connection you feel when you’re making love to the person you love. Not just sex with someone.
“If you hate me some much, why are you here?” Howie paused for a moment before he glanced over at me.
“Bri, you’re one of my brothers. Always have been. Sure, you were stupid, I was stupid. And there was something in your voice over the phone. I felt really bad for you. It’s like you just woke up to this life you have and had no idea what to do or what was going on.”
“I feel like that. I don’t understand it.” Howie shrugged and offered a smile.
“I wish there was something I could do.”
“No one has heard from Resa?”
“Nope. I can only guess she went back home to her mom’s place.”
“Knowing her, yeah, that’s where I would guess too.” I stood up and walked over to the window, staring at the huge backyard with the playground. It would get no use now. I couldn’t remarry, didn’t want to remarry. I knew within that I was a shell of my formal self. I wasn’t the same Brian, and I probably would never be. Resa, she was my life. I regret all those times I had doubted, all those times that someone asked and I hesitated. I know that now, but what’s that saying...it’s a little too late? That sure seemed like it here. I leaned my head against the glass, silently letting the tears slip down my cheeks. I shook my head, knowing it was the truth, yet not wanting to believe it, no, no, NO!...

… “No! It can’t be, NO!”
“Brian!”
“No, no, no!”
“Brian.” I felt someone slap my cheeks, trying to wake me up. I quickly opened my eyes to see Terri sitting on my bed.
“What are you doing here?”
“To actually talk to Resa, but I heard you and it didn’t sound good. Are you okay?” I shifted, realizing the sheet moved and I was now exposing my chest to her gaze. Yet, it didn’t faze me. I just didn’t care at the moment. What a turn around!

Chapter 21
“Is he any better?” I shrugged. I glanced over at Howie and smiled.
“I’m sorry. No, he’s really not. I’m not sure what to do. I thought this thought implanted in his mind would make him see, but it’s not. It’s not even making a dent.”
“So, nothing has happened?” I played with my straw before I glanced over at him again. I shook my head. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“What about you and Terri?”
“Nothing. It’s really like we’re walking on egg shells. I miss holding my wife.”
“Well, I miss the comforting arms of my husband.”
“May I ask why you fell in love with him?” I smiled at that. I suppose in some way, Brian and I were opposites.
“The first thing I noticed about him was his eyes. And then he smiled. I was floating on cloud nine. But, it was that sweet, southern boy charm that finally captured my heart. I had never met anyone like him in my life. And I knew that this man was going to be the only one I could ever love.”
“So, if things don’t work out, there will be no one else?” I glanced down at the plate of food in front me, hungry, but not really having the strength to eat. Howie had takin’ me to lunch, figured we needed to sit down and really talk about where we went now. Inside, I was cringing at the question he was asking. I didn’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, but hell, if I didn’t have all of Brian, I really didn’t want anything. I wiped the tears away and forced a smile on my face, one that Howie saw right through.
“There’s no such thing as never. But, probably not. All I know, all I want, is Brian. It’s really an all or nothing type deal. But, you know, I’m tired of fighting. It really seems like I’ve been fighting for ages. And, I just can’t take it anymore.” Howie wrapped his arm around my shoulder, gently nudging my head to rest on his shoulder. I was grateful for friends like him. He was my pillar in getting through this. And he certainly understood, for I knew the deep love he had for his wife. And inside Terri, I knew she loved and adored Howie. Passion and lust fizzle away, but, for me and him, this passion and lust between Brian and Terri just wasn’t fizzling fast enough. I sniffled and wiped the rest of the tears away.
“What’s the next step?” Oh, I didn’t want to think about it.
“Personally, I think we need to confront our loves here. Put the question to them point blank. Either they want to work through this, or they have each other.”
“Can you do that?”
“It’s not a matter of can I do that, D, I can. Do I want to, no. But, I won’t go on playing second fiddle here, I can’t. This has takin enough of a toll on me.”
“Why is that when you think about your life, you always paint it in that rosy picture? Nothing can mess it up, you know?”
“Don’t I know. I would have loved kids. I adore them; they’re so innocent, so sweet. I know that our kids would have been spoiled! And look at the strange path my life took. Can’t have kids, has a husband who’s cheated, hit on my best friend’s husband.” He laughed at that.
“Than we went and lied to our loves.”
“It’s not like they didn’t deserve it. He still hasn’t asked. Personally, I think he’s too much of a chicken shit to ask. It’s like, he can do the deed, but heaven forbid someone looks at his wife.”
“Now, that’s a double standard.”
“You’re telling me.” I shrugged but smiled none the less. Howie truly was a great friend. And yeah, I was happy nothing happened between me and him. I think had something go on, it would even be more awkward, and I really wouldn’t have had anyone to turn to. He cupped my cheek, his gaze holding mine.
“If he does anything, says anything, I want you to call me.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
“Howie, you’re the greatest friend.”
“We started this path together, we’ll finish it together. No matter what rocky, twisty, curvy road we have to climb.”

Chapter 22
I walked into the house, the silence hitting me full on. I closed my eyes, seeking strength I wasn’t sure I really had. I set my purse down on the table as I made my way into the living room then into the kitchen, still seeing no Brian. His car was still in the driveway, so it’s not like he was gone.
“Bri, honey, you here?”
“Upstairs.” I walked upstairs and into our bedroom, seeing him sitting on the corner of the bed.
“What’s wrong?” He held his hand out, beckoning me to come over. I paused for a few seconds, before I walked over and placed my hand in his. He pulled me down on his lap and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Brian, what’s wrong?”
“Where did we go wrong?”
“I’m not sure what you mean? I’m still here.” His head lifted up, his eyes locking with mine.
“Do you still love me?”
“Yes.”
“Even after all the stupid shit I just put you through?” Deep down, I hated him, hated the way he treated me, but damn it, my heart was just not letting go.
“Yes, even after all that.”
“Do you want to make this marriage work?”
“Brian, I need to know what’s going on. The last time you kinda asked these same questions, I really didn’t like the outcome.”
“I promise, no more. It won’t happen again.”
“What do you mean, it won’t happen again?”
“I love you Theresa. You, you are my life. When you went with Howie, I was beyond pissed. I wanted to hunt you both down and hurt you. Than I realized, I had no to blame. But, I just couldn’t stomach losing you, especially to one of my best friends. So, I tried to sleep. Actually, I guess I did. And I had a horrible dream. Because of what I did, I lost my friends, lost my job, but more importantly, I lost you. And I knew that if I didn’t have you in my life, nothing mattered. I saw the bleakness that my life would be if you left. And I can’t deal with that. I don’t want to deal with that. I refuse to deal with that.”
“So, what exactly are you saying?”
“I’m saying that if you still love me, and if you still want to make this marriage work, than I do too.”
“So, than I guess I really shouldn’t ask if you want a divorce huh?”
“No divorce.”
“Because you don’t believe in it?” I asked, my lips lifting up into a smile. Hell, I loved to tease this man. He grinned, before he lifted me up and threw me back on the bed.
“Because I love this she devil before me and I don’t want to let her go. Ever.” With that, his hands massaged up my arms, capturing one wrist and tying it to the headboard, than the other.
“Excuse me! What did I do to deserve being tied up in your bed, mister?”
“You cast a spell on me! Besides, I just told you, I’m not letting you go!”

Chapter 23
I gazed into those eyes and my heart melted. His hands caressed my cheek before his head descended as his lips lightly pressed against mine. Deep in the back of my mind, I was curious, wanting to know if he was now going to compare. And I guess I was wondering if he was thinking I was comparing. True, Howie’s lips were damn good, but nothing really compared to having the lips you loved pressed against yours. His tongue traced along my lower lip, asking for access, and I just couldn’t refuse him. My tongue crashed against his, his hands racing over my body, as if he was just exploring it for the first time. He pulled away, his eyes locking with mine once more.
“I love you.” I suppose I really was questioning it cause inside, I knew he was telling me the truth. I should be grateful that the dream really shook him up.
“I love you too, Brian. There’s never been anyone else that I loved.” He smiled, and yet, I could see the question burning there yet he still didn’t ask. But, I wasn’t going to offer that information either. His lips trailed down my jaw and nipped at my ear lobe, before moving down my neck. My breath shuttered and he chuckled, loving every little thing I did.

***************************
My hands quickly undressed her, loving the silkiness of her skin. She closed her eyes as my lips trailed down her neck, my tongue barley running over her nipple. She jumped as my lips closed over it, her arms pulling on the restraints.
“You’re not getting out of that,” I whispered, my mouth still loving her breasts.
“That’s just not fair.”
“I never claimed to be, you know.” My lips roamed down her stomach, smiling as it quivered slightly. I felt my heart start pounding in my chest as I gazed over her. How could I have been so stupid as to risk losing her? I nipped along her legs, kissing all her most sensitive areas, chuckling as she squirmed, moaned, and even sighed. I had wanted to show her just how much she meant to me, I wanted this time to surpass all other times. I really had the full intention of worshiping her like she should have been worshied all along.
“Bri?” My eyes glanced up and she smiled. “What are you thinking?” I kissed back up her body, my lips just slightly above hers.
“Thinking how much I love you, and adore you, and how stupid…” I never finished as she leaned up and pressed her lips against mine. I moaned, as her tongue caressed mine. Well, hell, there went any thoughts of taking this slow, because I just couldn’t. I held her hips as I slid into her, loving her even more as she threw her head back, exposing her neck, but groaning at the same time.

I turned, my eyes taking him in. He was so peaceful in his sleep. I sighed, realizing that had been three hours that we just laid like this, or rather, three hours since I came home. I smiled, knowing that this afternoon, that all of those times in that three hours, he was proving something. To him, or to myself, I wasn’t certain, but I felt it. And I knew, deep within, something was different about these times. I slipped out of bed, leaving the comfort of his arms. I peeked once more at him, really hoping he was asleep. I smiled as I dropped to my knees on the side of the bed, folded my hands, and bowed my head.
“Father, you blessed me with this marriage, and this man. I thank you for that. He truly has my heart. And we both know just how much he’s messed up, and even though it sill hurts, I can’t help but forgive him and love him. With all that I am, I still love him. Father, but I still ask for one thing. I love Terri, even though she’s betrayed me as well, but I don’t want her to be pregnant. Lord, please bless Brian and me with a child of our own. I’m not sure I could handle taking care of a child from them. You know that I would love it no matter what, but it would be like a slap in the face. Please, Lord, grant us a child. In your most precious name, Amen.”

**********************
I laid there, resting as I heard her whispered words. Talk about a knife slicing up your insides. It was comforting to know she forgave me, even though I was having one hell of a time forgiving myself here. And even more amazing to hear her call our marriage a blessing. But it struck me to the core that she admitted she would have one hell of a time raising a kid that wasn’t ours. And it’s not like anyone would blame her. I opened my eyes as she left the room and I let out a breath.
“Lord, please, bless us. And let these feelings I have for my wife’s best friend fade. Please make the devil leave me, because I can’t stand to hurt my wife anymore than what I already have.”

Chapter 24
“You’re awfully quite over there.” I released my nail from my teeth and glanced up at AJ.
“What?”
“What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing, Age, why would you ask that?”
“Nothing, huh? Does that nothing have something to do with Bri and Terri?” My head quickly snapped up again.
“What do you mean?” AJ rolled his eyes.
“Girl, we’re not fools.”
“I’m not saying you are.”
“You’re trying to pretend we are. Look, Jewel has her special moments, but she does talk to Terri and you. She knows there were some major problems between you and Brian and she sorta guessed what was going on with Bri and Terri there.” I sighed. The rest of the guys were my brothers, just like they were to Bri. And I guess part of my didn’t want to tell them anything because they were going to take sides, and I just couldn’t stand that. Hell, Kevin, his own cousin, had no clue, unless someone told him.
“I love Brian, AJ.”
“Yes, and he loves you. There was never any doubt of that.” I leaned back in the chair and folded my arms, trying to comfort myself.
“There was a doubt. I can’t have kids. Which you know. Terri offered her help, it just sorta went beyond what all we thought.”
“They slept together?”
“Yeah.” AJ’s grin left his face. He was only joking.
“You’re serious?” I nodded, grinning at the look on his face.
“You and D said okay?”
“Believe me, I didn’t want to. But I want my husband, I want my marriage. If that means giving him what he wanted then, to protect us in the future, I was willing. D thought the same way.”
“I can’t believe that.”
“It wasn’t easy. Still isn’t. Which leads me to my thoughts here, now. A couple days ago, it was an amazing after noon. I’ve never felt closer to my husband. He loved me in ways I never thought was possible.”
“So, why aren’t you there?”
“I needed to think. We’ve both been busy, so we haven’t seen each other much, but today was a free day for me and I needed to think. I’m still really worried.”
“Theresa,” he knelled down in front of me and grabbed both of my hands in his, “listen to me very carefully. Brian has known Terri before he knew you. He had the chance to marry her, you know this. She wasn’t dating anyone, but than you came along, and you turned Brian’s world upside down. I remember the first part of your guy’s relationship. I hated it, it was so sick and romantic, I just couldn’t believe YOU could be that way.” I chuckled, having to agree with him. “But, after a while, we all knew he found true love, and that the only woman he was supposed to be with, was you.”
“Things change.”
“Time changes, Theresa. Feelings don’t. Brian may have an infatuation of sorts for Terri, but that’s all it is. I know he would die if he lost you.”
“I’ve heard him say that a time or two.”
“It’s true. Do you still love him?”
“Isn’t it obvious, after all the crap I put up with?”
“Did you cheat on him?” I glanced into AJ’s eyes. This was the one question I wanted Brian and Terri to ask, yet still neither one of them did. I thought they were too scared, too worried, about the answer. Yet, neither had the balls to say it.
“And if I did?”
“Than you don’t love him like you say you did. Did you cheat on him?” I turned as the door to AJ’s house opened and Howie walked in. Alex glanced from D to me and smiled. “Never mind, I got my answer. Go home, Resa, tell your husband that you love him, huh?” I bite my lip, knowing that AJ was right. I loved him, always had, always will, and I was determined to make this work. If that means we move far away from my friends, so be it. That means we took a long, long vacation away from everyone, I was okay with that. If that means we had to adopt, fine! But one way or another, I was stealing my husband back!

Chapter 25
**********************
I sat back on the couch, my mind running over the last few days and everything that happened. Terri was a drug, there was certainly no denying that. But, that was a drug I needed to over come, and quickly. I picked up the phone, debating if I really should do what I was thinking. But, no, I needed to do it; we needed to clear this up. I quickly dialed her number, my heart racing as she answered.
“What do you want, Bri?”
“We need to talk.” I heard her sigh and really wondered if she would come over.
“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be right over.” With that, she hung up, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again.

15 minutes later, I opened the door and ushered her in.
“Look, I’m not sure it’s wise for me to be here.”
“I know. And I thank you for coming.”
“You said you needed to talk.” I glanced at her and felt my mind go blank. No, this just couldn’t be happening! “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking about a lot of things, that I shouldn’t. I’m thinking about that night.”
“I better go.” She turned to leave but I quickly grabbed her upper arm.
“There’s something between us and you can’t deny that Terri.”
“There can’t be! You have your wife and I have my husband.”
“That didn’t stop us before.”
“Well, it does now.”
“Don’t you want to be happy with Howie? What if this feeling that’s there now never goes away? How are we gonna be around each other feeling this way?”
“We can’t feel this way! That’s what I’m trying to say Brian.”
“You’d rather there always be tension there? That’s not going to go over very well.”
“I’d rather there be nothing there, actually.”
“Than kiss me.”
“Are you crazy? Let me go Brian.”
“You want to know if there is something there.” My finger ran down her cheek and over those lips while my eyes stared into hers. “I don’t regret that night.”
“Brian, you’re married to my best friend. That’s who you chose to marry. That’s who you should be longing for. That’s who you should be with.”
“You don’t want to kiss me?” Her eyes left my gaze and dropped to my lips. God help her, she knew she shouldn’t but she really couldn’t stop that longing. Howie was one of the best husbands, so she couldn’t figure out why she was drawn to this man. “Is that your answer?”
“Bri…” Her voice trailed off as my lips brushed hers. “Please…”
“That doesn’t sound like much of a protest.”
“I’m not sure it was,” she whispered, her lips seeking mine out. She moaned, and a shiver raced through my body. My arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her tightly against my body. I felt her hands run up my chest; over my shoulders and felt her fingers entangle themselves in my hair. Damn, she felt so good! And in the back of my mind, I heard that tiny voice saying to stop, that going down this road was no longer an option. That if I went on kissing, touching, feeling, and wanting Terri, I was going to lose everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve. I think we both heard the sound of the car and than the sound of the door opening before we pulled away. I stared into those icy eyes and was at a loss for words. Than I glanced behind him and felt my life crumple. Her eyes were on fie, and if she could strike out, I would have been the first to be slain.

Chapter 26
“Why are we here?”
“Because Brian isn’t here. You’re one of my best friends and I really need your help,” I said. He glanced behind me as we found the door unlocked. He quickly opened it, but the scene before us quickly brought him up short. AGAIN, I let him hurt me AGAIN!
“What the hell is going on?”
“Resa, it’s not what you think!”
“And just what the hell am I thinking?”
“I needed to talk to Terri, but she…she started it!” Terri glared at Brian.
“The hell I did! Don’t you lie!”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass who started it. I’m just trying to figure out what the hell is going on.”
“I did this for us!” I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced at Brian.
“How the hell is kissing this hoe helping us?”
“Hey! Don’t you think that’s hypocritical, when you slept with my husband?”
“Terri, shut up. You’re not really in good lights right now with anyone.”
“No, Howie,” I said, placing my hand on his arm. “And did you not sleep with mine?”
“I was doing it to help you!”
“Help me? HELP ME?! How the hell is this,” I said, waving my hands at the two of them, “helping me?”
“At least I didn’t do it out of spite!” At that, my eyes opened wide, I felt Howie cringe, saw Brian’s mouth drop open, but my anger was focused on her for the moment.
“You are the biggest slut! Not to mention the biggest bitch! You have an amazing husband, who you burned for that piece of shit! Than you call me a friend and yet you do this to me.”
“Are you calling me a piece of shit?”
“I will get to you, Brian! You call yourself a friend, yet you don’t know a damn thing about me!” It took her a couple of moments before those words had any meaning.
“You two lied?”
“That’s wrong, Resa. How could you guys do that?”
“I warn you, Littrell, don’t say another word!”
“You tell me you love me, yet you lie to me,” Terri said, her eyes glued on Howie.
“It’s not any worse than what you did.”
“Bull shit! You knew from the start what we had planned. We didn’t sneak behind your backs to do it! You could have said no!”
“To do what? You two would have had your damn affair, even if I said no.”
“Well, at least someone pleased me.” I narrowed my eyes and let my hand fly, connecting with her cheek. “I can’t believe you…”
“Shut up! I’m done with you. Consider this our last conversation because I do not need friends like you in my life!” With that, I turned on my heel and marched over to D’s car. I closed my eyes and leaned against the door.
“You need to apologize.” He just didn’t leave well enough alone.
“To her? Never.”
“What we did was wrong, but we needed to see…”
“Look, at this moment, I just don’t give a shit. I want you out of my life.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I’ve never meant anything more, Brian. I loved you, thought that would be enough. I thought the other night, when we made love, thought that was it. You loved me like you once did. And yet, you still kiss her.”
“I was testing the waters.”
“No, Brian, testing the waters means one kiss, a brush of the lips, not a full on tongue down the throat kiss.”
“Resa..”
“It’s Theresa.”
“I’m your husband.”
“Correction, you were my husband.”
“Not until the paper is signed. Which means I have full authority over you by law and by God.”
“No, you don’t you son of a bitch. You lost it the moment you screwed her!” He quickly grabbed my arm, his face in mine.
“Listen to me…”
“Like I hell will. Get your face out of mine, get your hands off of me, and leave me the hell alone!”
“Damn it, why won’t you listen?” he asked, both of his hands squeezing my arms.
“I’m telling you one more time, let me go!”
“Not until,” his sentenced never got finished as I balled my fist up, and with whatever strength I could muster, punched him in the face.

Chapter 27
I stared out the window, watching as the storm clouds rolled in. In the distance, I could hear the rumble of the thunder and sighed. On most occasions, I could say I loved the rain, love the smell, the feel, just everything about it. But after a week, it just really matched my mood. Brian stopped calling, stopped sending text messages, for he was getting no response. I take that back, I sent him a text back, saying he had to meet with the lawyer to draw up the paperwork. Yup, I filled for divorce. And now, I was dying inside because of it. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. How did this happen? For the life of me, I still couldn’t figure it out. Hell, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I hadn’t spoken to Howie, didn’t really know what was going on with him. I heard, from AJ, that Terri was staying elsewhere, but wasn’t sure if they were filing. Although, if D stayed, he was a fool.
“How you doin’?” I turned my eyes to AJ and smiled.
“Great. Thanks again for letting me crash here Age.”
“Will you stop saying thank you? Damn, it’s been a week already. And don’t lie! You’re not great.”
“I am, really.”
“Right. I just talked to D.” I shrugged, pretending I didn’t really care, but who was I kidding? AJ knew me a lot better than that. I did care, and not because he was a guy or anything like that. I cared because he was one of my best friends and I really hated the fact that he was hurting just as much as me. “Don’t give me that bull shit,” AJ said, sitting down next to me. I glanced over at him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
“What’s going on with D?”
“You’re not going to like it.”
“I hate when things start off with that.”

“I’m sorry.” He took a sip of his coffee before turning his attention to her blue eyes. She gazed at him, meaning those words.
“Me too.”
“Howie, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I do, Terri. I should have fought for you.” She leaned over and squeezed his hand that was resting on the table.
“I’m not sure where we went wrong.”
“I’m not sure either, D.” He sighed, his fingers lacing through hers. His eyes searched her face, wanting, wishing, hoping, praying that he would find some sign that she wanted to fight, that she wanted to work through his. He loved her, there was no denying that. And he could call himself all kinds of names for wanting her back, but he couldn’t deny his heart anymore. “There’s no going back and undoing what’s been done.”
“I know I’m a fool, but we can start again, we can…” She placed her finger on his lips and slowly shook her head.
“I love you Howie, but not the way I’m supposed to. And I think I started feeling that way long before Brian came into the picture. He was just the push I needed to really see that.”
“But…” He trailed off. He didn’t want her love out of pity and he wouldn’t push her.
“I’m not pregnant.”
“What?”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“You two did all of that, and you’re not?”
“No.”
“Have you told Brian or Resa?”
“I haven’t spoken to either one of them.” Inside, she cringed, for that wasn’t quite true.
“To my knowledge…”
“I was on a pill. I…it was wrong, but I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant anyways.”
“You did…I can’t believe you would do that! To your friends?”
“Brian knew. He’s the one that suggested it.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, Howie.” She closed her eyes, knowing that in his mind, he had to be calling her all kinds of names, and she deserved every one of them. “I better go. Take care of yourself. And of Resa, she’s going to need you.” She grabbed her purse, smiled at him one last time and left, no backwards glance, no quick wave. She just left, just up and walked away.

“He drew up the papers and is mailing them to her mom’s house.”
“What?”
“Yup. Terri’s not pregnant.” I couldn’t stop it, no matter how hard I tired, the laugh just burst from me. Which, AJ gave me the strangest look.
“I’m sorry. I know it’s odd for you, believe me, I know. We, Brian and I, were hoping for that fact. She needed to be pregnant, and than to find out she wasn’t. It’s just so funny. We destroyed our marriages for nothing.”
“There’s more.”
“What do you mean there’s more? What could be said?” He opened his mouth, but quickly shut it as his door bell started to ring.
“Hold on.” I nodded my head, my head turning to watch the impending storm once more. “Yeah, she’s in here.” I turned slightly, frowning as Brian walked into the room!

Chapter 28
************************
Stupid, foolish, idiot! Yup, that was me. I slid my phone in my pocket, sighing as I stared at his house. I didn’t really want to explain this to her. But, Terri just dropped the bomb on D, now it was my turn. Inside, I was dying. I still loved her, or at least still some part of my did, but I did care deeply for Terri, there was no denying that anymore. If, after everything was signed and done with, there were still feelings for each other, we said we could try. But, that was only if Resa and D ever found someone new, because we just couldn’t bear to hurt them. I stepped inside the house, not liking the look on AJ’s face.
“What do you want?” he hissed.
“To talk to my wife.”
“Yeah, she’s in here.” I followed him into the living room and saw her curled up on the couch, my heart strings tugging at the sight. Her head turned and the fire flashed in her eyes as she stared at me.
“Hi.”
“What do you want, Brian?” I heard the crack in her voice and tried my hardest not to take her in my arms.
“To talk.”
“What the hell is there to say?”
“A lot, actually. And I wanted to tell you before you heard it from D.”
“What makes you think I’ve talked to him?”
“Because you’re close to him.” I ran my hands through my hair, sitting down on the table in front of her. “I just got off the phone with Terri..”
“I don’t wanna hear that name right now.”
“Don’t be a baby!”
“A baby? That’s what I’m being? You screwed my best friend, destroyed not only her marriage, but ours, and I’m being a baby because I don’t want to hear her name. Right, I’m not seeing that.”
“You could have said no!”
“And have you resent me for the rest of our lives? As if that would have been any better. You two would have done it, anyways. You really weren’t seeking our permission!”
“Your damn right, we didn’t need it! That’s why I told her to take that pill! I didn’t want her pregnant. I knew one night was not enough! She was too far under my skin; I was craving her too damn badly!”
“You...you did what?”
“She was on a pill.” She jumped off the couch, her arms crossed over her chest as she paced back and forth.
“All so you can have her again?”
“Theresa…” She held up her hand and shook her head.
“The night that you…and me…you told me you didn’t want me to go. You loved me and you didn’t want a divorce…what were you asking?”
“I didn’t. I don’t, actually.”
“So, you wanted both and you wanted me to agree to it.”
“Not like that, you make it sound horrible.”
“It is! What, were you gonna screw her every weekend in hopes that she would be pregnant. I’m the Monday through Thursday while she’s the weekend fling?”
“No.” The glare she sent me shut me up rather quickly.
“Out.”
“What?”
“Get out! We’re done.”
“Resa…”
“Don’t you ever call me that again, you don’t have that right!”
“I’m your husband!”
“You’re my ex-husband. It’s final, or didn’t you get the papers! Get out!”
“Theresa…”
“Get the hell out of this house!”
“You’re not…” She reached over and slapped me.
“I don’t want you near me, I don’t want you to talk to me, I want nothing to do with you. You destroyed five lives! Five!”
“Now wait a damn minute…”
“You stupid, son of a bitch! I’m pregnant you ass!”

Chapter 29
I couldn’t look at him another second, so I turned on my heel, shocked to find D there. He glanced at me and I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. I raced past Howie and up the stairs to the bedroom I was currently staying in.
“I need to talk to her.” Howie placed his hand on Brian’s arm and shook his head.
“You need to leave.”
“Howie, that’s my wife.”
“She’s your ex wife Bri. Right now, she wants nothing to do with you. In fact, I’m pretty damn sure she’s not gonna want anything to do with you, ever!”
“That’s my baby…”
“Which you can kiss goodbye because she won’t let you near it.”
“Howie, get the hell out of my way!”
“Brian, leave. I’ll take care of her.”
“Like hell you will! I’ll know what you do!”
“Not every one of us thinks with our dick!” Brian glared at him, his hand fisting up. “I know what happened, what you two did. Right now, I want nothing to do with you either.”
“I’m not going to tell you again. Get your hands off of me so I can go to her.”
“Brian, stop! Man, let her be.” Brian glanced down at Howie, his anger flaring. What right did D have to stop him? That was his wife, his child. Okay, his ex wife, but that was still his child!
“Let me go!”
“No.” With that, Brian lost, his fist flaring out and landing square on Howie’s jaw. D stumbled backward, shocked that Brian had to courage to do that. But before he could throw his own punch, AJ grabbed his arm.
“Brian, please leave.”
“You’re taking his side?”
“I’m taking Theresa side, actually. But, this is my house. And I think after this display, I’m guessing that the album will be put on hold. But if we lose fans, it’s your ass I’m kicking.” For a second, Brian zoned out, than paled. His dream! It was coming true. It was…his head dropped, knowing that the prayers he asked for were never going to be answered, because deep inside, he really didn’t want them answered. His dream life no longer included Theresa. He sighed and made his way out to his car, not quite believing what had happened, was happening, or what will happen.

“I can’t believe he did that,” I said, brushing my fingers over the bruise that was showing on D’s face.
“It was bound to happen.”
“No, it never should have.”
“Theresa, it was building up. But, if it makes you feel any better, I think the final straw for him was me not letting him see you.” I laughed, and felt his fingers brush my cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry this happened to you.”
“As sorry as I am this happened to you.” He smiled as his lips softly, gently, brushed mine. I sighed and rested my head on his chest, grateful for his undying support, for his comforting arms, for his soothing words, for his hypnotic gaze and his sensual lips. I pulled back slightly, gazing into those very lethal eyes, my lips lifting it up in the barest of smiles, as his did. And without a cause, I heard the answer in my mind to my heart’s silent question, that yes, there was love without end.