http://www.geocities.com/bsbfanfictionbaby/winnerbb.jpg

Chapter 1


Thinking back to the night this all started, it's just as unreal now as it was then. It's extremely painful to find out that your best friend has gone missing. What made this even harder for me was that I had to sit back while his finace tried to deal with it on her own. It was killing her and I wasn't sure if she was going to be able to pull through this without talking to someone that knew how she felt.

It's been almost a year since this happened, but it's still fresh in my mind. It feels as though this only happened last night. The pain from it all still hasn't completely subsided. There are still so many unanswered questions about what happened.

The images of that night are perminately burned into my mind. I remember sitting back with Leighanne as I watched Nick and Caitlin dance. They looked so perfect; so happy together. I still believe that it was fate that brought these two together. Never have I seen a more perfect couple, other than me and Leighanne that is. It was completely obvious that they would do anything for each other, which is such a rare thing to find these days, especially in people so young.

Finally Caitlin and Nick broke apart and were heading in my direction. I shot Nick a 'I'm happy for you' smile while they were walking over. Their love was displayed so proudly upon their faces to a point that even I was almost jealious! Nick had the biggest grin on his face, probably even bigger than right before one of his infamous pranks was unvailed.

"Hey Rok," he said reaching the table that I was sitting at.

"What's up Nick," I asked well aware of what he wanted to do.

"Nothing," he said flashing Caitlin a smile then turning back to me, "Where's the rest of the guys?"

"Around. AJ's with Sarah, Kevin with Kristin, and Howie is off meeting people I guess," I answered him.

"Where's Leighanne?" Caitlin asked me.

"She just left to the ladies room a moment ago."

"Oh, sounds like a good idea. I'll be right back, " Caitlin said kissing Nick on the check. I knew that she was about to spill her heart out to Leighanne, which I didn't mind cause then I could get into Nick's thoughts.

"Alright," Nick told her. Then he watched as she walked off towards the ladies room. I just sat there, looking at Nick. Waiting for him to turn around to face me. He didn't do that until Caitlin was no longer in sight.

"You guys looked great out there," I told him.

"Thanks," he answered me, some what dazed. Then he added, "I'm so glad that I asked her to marry me. I don't think I'd be complete without her."

"You guys set a date yet?" I asked. He had already asked me to be his best man so I was eagerly awaiting for the day that I would watch my best friend finally settle down with the woman of his life.

"No, but we have decided to wait awhile before we do. To have a long term engagement instead of rushing into it. We both agreed that it would also give us more time to make it perfect," he said to me proudly.

"That sounds like a good idea. I'm just glad that you found her," I told him. What he didn't know was that at first I just thought that he was doing this because he thought that he would be getting back at his ex. Which by the way, none of us liked.

"Man, not as glad as I am. To be blunt I don't know how I lived without her. She just makes getting up every morning more worth it than I've ever known it to be. Having her their, it makes the sun shine a little brighter," he said. I smiled at the poet in him coming to life before my very eyes.

"Just make sure to hold on to her," I told him.

"You don't have to tell me that twice. Hell, you didn't have to tell me that to begin with. I knew from when I first met her that I would never let her go." My grin was becoming wider, I could feel it, but Nick didn't seem to notice. Predictabily, all he noticed was Caitlin emerging from the ladies room.

I smiled as I saw Leighanne walking out behind her. Quickly I rised to my feet and greeted Leigh with a kiss and then pulled out a chair for her. She smiled and thanked me. I smiled back and then turned my attention back to Nick and Caitlin. Then I smiled when I saw that Caitlin didn't even bother to even think about sitting in a chair, but decided to sit on Nicks lap. He had his arm around her waist and my smile couldn't help but grow wider watching them together.

The moment was killed when Nick's and I cell phone ringing almost simultaneously. Reluctantly, we both exused ourselves from the table and went to answer our phones. I wasn't surprised when it turned out to be management. Lately, with the new album in the works, we've been on almost constant call. Sadly that we were informed that we had to come in immediately. Moments after hanging up, Nick and I were approached by Kevin, Howie and AJ. They had gotten the call to.

The guys and I went back to our dates and explained what the call was about. We recieved that exteremely too familiar look of dissapointment that we were always given when we had to leave the loves of our lives. After driving the ladies back to the hotel, we were off to the studio.

Chapter 2


Finally we finshed up at the studio and were able to go home. I could tell that Nick was more excited about going home than any of us because he just about flew out of the studio. I couldn't help but laugh at his actions. It was like he thought that if he stayed any longer, it would have killed him.

Of course, AJ made a few comments. He lived to pick on Nick. It was like a new hobby of his. The rest of stayed for a few mintues just to make sure that everything was done for the night. When we were convinced that we wouldn't get any calls at 2 in the morning, we left for the hotel.

When we reached the lobby, we were greeted by Leigh, Kristin, and Caitlin. I was a little surprised that Caitlin had stayed to see us. Like it would have even been her choise. I figured that Nick would have probably carried her off to their room. I knew I just had to say something.

"I'm surprised that you actually escaped hurrican Nick," I joked and Caitlin laughed.

"So am I," she told me, "but I told him that I wanted to stay down here a little longer so he went upstairs."

"Don't forget to mention that you shot him such a 'puppy dog' face that even if he wanted to, he couldn't say no to," Sarah added in. I smiled at Caitlin. She blushed softly.

"It was completely innocent. I've never done that before and I didn't want to go upstairs yet but Nick had his heart set on going so I had to do what I had to do," she commented.

"Whatever," AJ said before myself or anyone else could even open our mouths, "I doubt that he lasts very long before he comes down here begging you to come up there with him."

"I didn't expect him to," she told AJ. I smiled. She and Nick were so much alike. Their personalities went hand in hand with each other. When they were together they brought out the best in each other.

"He's probably on his way down right now," AJ said.

"No, that would take to long," I pointed out, "he's probably pulling out his cell as we speak." Caitlin couldn't help but laugh at my comment.

"He's not that bad," she defended.

"Their just raggin on him," Howie said, "No harm in that is there?"

"No," she answered. We soon found ourselves becoming involved in a deep conversation. I have no idea how long we were there talking for but I am sure that it was a while. Then we decided to head up to our rooms to catch some sleep. We all took the elevator together just joking around. At that point we were really tired and we weren't really thinking to be honest.

When we reached our floor, we all headed in the directions of our rooms. Leigh and my room was right by the elevator door so we were the first to dissapear. Caitlin had to walk around the corner to her room, which I assured myself was a good thing because I don't think that any of us would have been able to sleep if we had them any where near us.

I walked off to the bathroom and changed into a tank and shorts and then proceded to brush my teeth. Leigh was on the phone talking to her mom when I stepped out from the bathroom. She smiled then told her mother she loved her and she would call her later. Leigh arose from the bed and walked into the bathroom. I smiled as I walked towards the bed. I pulled down the blanket and a sudden pounding came at the door.

My attention shot up to the door. I walked over towards it and opened it. To my complete surprise, Caitlin was standing before me totally distraught with tears pouring from her eyes.

"Caitlin, what's wrong?" I asked not sure what to make of the situation.

"Oh my god, Brian....... it's oh god...," she said triping over her words. She was shaking as I watched her struggle with her words.

"Honey, relax. Tell me what happened so that I can help you," I told her hoping to soothe her enough for her to be able to talk.

"Come," she was finally able to tell me. Then she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her and Nicks room. I couldn't figure out why she was doing this until we reached her room. She had left the door open when she went to get me. I looked into the room in disbelief. There appeared to have been a struggle because everything in the room was thrown out of place.

The night stands were on the floor and the lamps were broken. Chairs had been knocked over as well. Nicks luggage was was laying on the floor, after aparently having been knocked off the dresser. I walked into the room and was careful not to tuch anything. I walked into the bathroom and found that it had been trashed as well. The thing that scared me the most was the Nick was gone.

"I'm going to call the police," I said walking towards the front door where Caitlin was still crying. "Come on," I told her. I took her hand and walked her back to my room.

"What happened?" Leigh asked when she saw me coming into the room with Caitlin, "Is she alright?"

I shook my head and picked up the phone and called 911. It was probably the worst phone call that I ever had to make. To tell someone that my best friend had been kidnapped and probably seriously hurt. What made it worse was that Caitlin was in the background the whole time crying.

Chapter 3


It felt like it took forever for the police to come even though they were there only minutes after I had called. They had me take them to Nicks room where they started first by taking pictures and then began to take a look around. Then the officer who seemed to be in charge of all of this turned to me.

"Evening sir," he said, "I'm officer Hudson. I'm just going to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."

"No not at all," I answered.

"Okay," he said taking a pad and a pen out from his pocket, "What's your name?"

"Brian Littrell," I answered.

"What is the victims name?"

"Nick Carter."

"Alright," he said writing in his pad, "what was your relationship with the victim?"

"He's my best friend," I told him.

"Okay, how did you find out that he was missing?"

"His fiance, Caitlin, came to my room and she was really upset and she took me over here and he was gone."

"What was he wearing last?"

"Umm," I said stopping to think, "I believe that he was wearing a baggy white 'Tommy Hilfigure' t-shirt and some baggy jeans."

"Okay. Does he have any birth marks or tattos or anything like that?"

"He has a few tattos. Why?" I asked worried.

"So that we are able to identify him Mr. Littrell. Now please tell me what are these tattos of and where they are located on his body," the officer replied.

"He has a music note tattoed on the back of his right shoulder. A band around his right arm, a sea horse on his left leg, a sun with a chinese symbol on his right arm, a shark on his left with two chinese symbols under it. He has 'Kaos' tatted on his lower back and I believe that's it," I answered trying to make sure that I got them all and in the right places.

"Can you think of anyone that might want to do anything like this to him?"

"No," I answered immediately. Nick would have told me something about someone who he thought was a treath. If not me, then security.

"Alright. Now can I talk to his finace?"

"Sure, let me go get her, she's with my wife," I told him stepping out of the room and began to walk back to my own. Caitlin looked up at me when I walked into the room.

"What did they say?" she asked me.

"The officer wants to talk to you," I told her. She took a deep breath and nodded. Slowly she walked towards me and I walked her back to their room. The officer was waiting outside for us when we arrived.

"You are Mr. Carters fiance I presume?" he said, "I'm officer Hudson and I'm just going to ask you a few questions."

"Alright," she said. I turned to leave but she grabbed my arm, "please stay." I nodded to let her know that I wasn't going anywhere. She smiled momentarily and then turned to the officer.

"What's your name first of all?" he asked.

"Caitlin," she answered.

"Caitlin what?" he asked.

"Miller."

"Alright," officer Hudson said, "do you know if there is anyone that might be out to get him? Is there any unsettled differences between him and another individual?"

"Not that I know of. Nick would have told me if there was because he tells me everything," she told him. I just looked at her. She amazingly had pulled herself so well together that you never could tell that she was crying. Something that she learned from Nick I bet.

"Is their anyone in your past that might have a reason to do this?"

"No," she said after stopping to think about it, "nothing rings a bell."

"Alright. Give me a physical description of Nick please," the officer asked.

"He's about 6 foot 1, blond hair, blue eyes. Very attractive. Um, she said trying to think of what else to say,"he has a few tattos. He's about average weight."

"Um-hum," he said, "any kind of disfigurements?"

"No."

"Scars?"

Caitlin took a deep breath and tried to think. She couldn't remember any scars, "No."

"How about birthmarks?"

"None."

"How old is Carter?"

"22." The officer continued to write in his book even after Caitlin had stopped.

"Anything else?" the officer asked and looked at Caitlin.

"He was wearing a ring that I gave him for his birthday. Ithas the chinese symbols for love, dedication and life on it," she told him.

"Okay," he said writing that down. Then he pulled out two cards and handed one to me and one to Caitlin, "if either of you remember anything that could be of any importance, give me a call."

"We sure will," I said. The officer than proceded to walk into Nicks room where two of his co-workers were. Caitlin and I walked back to my room where we were greeted by the rest of the guys with Sarah and Kristin.

"What happened exactly?" AJ asked us.

"I don't know really," I told him.

"What did the police say?" Howie asked.

"Nothing. They were just asking us some questions about Nick. They wanted to know what he looked like and if we knew of anyone that might want to do something like this to him," I told them. They all a look of complete disbelief on their faces, I guess it was going around a lot tonight.

Chapter 4

I couldn't sleep that night. None of us could actually. All of our minds and hearts were with Nick. It killed me to think that he might no longer be with us. I don't know if I would be able to handle with that. The more I thought about it, the more I began to worry about Caitlin. She would be nothing without him. I know she wouldn't be able to take it. So I prayed. I prayed that he would be alright and that he would be back with us soon.

She wasn't allowed back in her room so I let her come to stay with me and Leigh. I let them have the bed and I slept on the couch. Well, not really slept, I just kind of layed there. There were too many things on my mind and that wouldn't let me fall asleep. Not only that, but my conscience wouldn't let me.

Everytime I began to fall asleep, my mind was bombarded with images of Nick being hurt. As I layed on the couch, I could hear Caitlins' soft whimpers. She was in a lot of pain, I knew that from the moment she showed up at my door. I wanted now, more so than before, to make this all better, but I knew that was just not possible.

I continued to stare at the celing. I really wanted the phone to ring and have the police tell me that he was found and that he was okay. The night was long and surviving it was hard. I found it rather comforting to hear Leigh and Caitlin talking about this. Leigh kept telling her how everything was going to be alright. There were so many times when I wanted to jump in, but I didn't. I thought that what Caitlin needed was to talk to another woman.

"Brian," I heard a little while later.

"Yes?" I answered, sitting up from the couch so that Caitlin and Leighanne could see me.

"How are you feeling?" Leigh asked me.

"Terrible. Nick is my best friend and he's like a brother to me. I just can't believe that this happened," I confessed.

"You're not the only one who feels like that."

"I know," I said not knowing what else to say.

"Do you think Nick is dead?" Caitlin asked seriously.

"No honey, he's not. I'm sure that he's still alive," I said not only trying to convince her, but myself and Leigh as well.

"Caitlin sweetie," Leigh said, "think. Is there anything that you can think of that at the time might have seemed weird? Or can you think of anyone that looked strange?"

"No. The whole time we've been here, nothing seemed wrong. Nick didn't argue with anyone. Even thinking back to before we came here, nothing was wrong," she said.

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

"Yeah." I heard her let out a long breath of fustration. I could tell that she really wanted to remember something that could help her find Nick. I stood up from the couch and walked over to the window to give myself something new to look at other than the celing and the walls. The sound of a cell phone ringing soon filled the room. I turned around to watch Caitlin pull out her phone.

"Hello?" she answered as I looked on. There was a long pause before anything else was said. I just continued to listen to Caitlin. The whole time I was hoping that it was officer Hudson calling to tell us that Nick was okay. Caitlin continued talking so I turned my attention back to looking out the window. Leigh soon joined me over at the window. I was glad that she was there even though she wasn't saying anything. Her presence was enough for me.

Caitlin was on the phone a while longer. Finally, I figured that it was probably just one of her friends that heard about Nick. I wish that she didn't have to keep talking about this because I knew that it was hurting her. Then again, maybe it would be good for her. She really needed to get it out. I sighed again as I continued to stare out of the window.

Leigh stepped away from me and towards Caitlin. Caitlin probably needed Leighs company now anyway. Finally, Caitlin hung up the phone. I turned to look at her.

"Who was it?" I asked softly, hoping that there was good news about Nick.

"A friend of mine back home," she answered, "what happened is all over the radio and tv. She said when she heard about it, she just had to call me to see how I was."

"That's nice of her," I told Caitlin.

"Yeah," she said and then paused. I looked at her because I knew there was more that was said in their conversation.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"She told me that my ex-boyfriend, Jordan, is missing too," she told us.

"Do you think he has something to do with Nicks disapearence?" I asked.

"He might. We didn't have a friendly break up. He was a really jealious guy. It took me a long time for me to get the courage to break up with him. Honestly, I was afraid of him. Jordan was a rather large man. He was really strong. I remember when I broke up with him, he said that if he couldn't have me, than no one would."

"So, you think he heard about you getting engaged to Nick?" I asked.

"Yeah, and then he looked for us and...." she said trailing off. Not that I could blame her. I wouldn't want to think about what might be. My eyes never left hers when slience fell over the room.

"We need to call officer Hudson," I said.

"I know," Caitlin said crying.

"Shhhhh, it'll be alright," Brian said softly, "it's going to be alright now. We have an idea about who did this."

"Brian, he killed him," Caitlin screamed, "I just know that he did! He may not have meant to kill him but he did. I feel it in my heart. With Jordoninvolved, I don't think Nick made it."

"Don't say that," Leighanne said to her,"he's still probably very much alive and the sooner we call the officer, the sooner we can have him home."

"What if he comes home dead?" Caitlin asked with tears in her eyes, "I love him so much. If he's dead then I won't be able to live..."

"Honey, calm down," I said, "look, I don't think this Jordon guy did anything to Nick. Lets call officer Hudson and see what happens from there." She just looked at me. I turned around and grabbed the phone but stopped and turned back to Caitlin, "Why didn't you tell officer Hudson about him in the first place?"

"I forgot about him. I was so worried about Nick. There wasn't anything going through my mind but Nick." I nodded, understanding what she was saying. Then I pulled officer Hudson's card from my wallet and dialed the number on the card. The phone rang several times before it was answered.

"Hello?" a female voice said.

"Can I please speak to officer Hudson?" I asked.

"Can I ask who's speaking please?"

"Brian Littrell."

"Alright, one moment please," she said and then put me on hold. I just waited until the phone was answered.

"Mr. Littrell?" officer Hudson's voice asked, "did Miss. Miller think of anything that might be of help?"

"Actually, she did," I answered.

"Good," he said sounding almost pleased, "okay go ahead. Tell me."

"Some ex-boyfriend named Jordan might have something to do with this. She said that he was jealious and..."

"Can you put Miss Miller on the phone?" he interupted me.

"Sure," I said, "Caitlin, officer Hudson wants to talk to you." She looked at me and walked over to take the phone from me.

"Hello?" she said. I found myself feeling helpless. That was a feeling that I sure as hell didn't like especially when someone's life was on the line. I listened as Caitlin began to give a discription of Jordon. As she spoke, I could hear her voice beginning to become filled with pain and anger. Suddenly, I found myself biting my nails. I had finally gotten this damn habit undercontrol. Oh well, despriate times call for depriate measures.

Caitlin must have been on the phone for about twenty minutes. Officer Hudson really kept her talking about this Jordon guy. I continued to listen as Caitlin continued to talk about Jordan. The longer she went on, the more I began to understand why she thought Nick was dead. She was talking about how he would beat up guys that just looked at her. He had even gotten arrested for that once.

This guy showed no remorse for anyone. He wanted things his way and he was willing to do anything to have it that way. I never even met this man but I already hated him and I was convinced that he was responsible for Nick's disapperance. I wanted to go after this guy myself but I knew that I couldn't because he would probably hurt me as well.

Caitlin finally hung up with officer Hudson and then turned to me. I looked at her, unsure of what to do now. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be alright, but I wasn't sure of that myself.

"He said that Jordon probably did have something to do with Nick disappearing," she said, "He didn't exactly say it, but he was leading around that Nick might be dead. After I started telling him about Jordon, I could tell in the instant change in his voice that the chance of Nick still being alive just got smaller."

Chapter 5


Morning came very slowly. Neither me Leigh or Caitlin got any sleep. We stayed up talking all night, trying to convince each other that Nick was alright. To be honest, I still held out a lot of hope that Nick was still alive. I think I was the only one that felt like that. Caitlin even got Leigh thinking that Nick was dead, even though she wouldn't admit it.

When the sun became bright, I ventured into the bathroom to take a shower that I knew I needed. When I finished my shower, I walked back into the bedroom and found that Leigh and Caitlin had fallen asleep. I smiled and then decided to go down stairs to get some coffee.

When I reached the restaurant I saw that AJ and Howie were already down there. I walked over to them. They looked at me when I sat at the table.

"You hear anything about Nick?" AJ asked.

"No, but Caitlin remembered about an ex that might have something to do with it," I told them, "and when we called officer Hudson and told him about it, he basically told Caitlin that Nick was dead."

"What the fuck does he know?" AJ said obviously angered by all of this. I just looked at him and I knew he wanted Nick to be alive just as much as I did.

"I think he's alive," I told him.

"I do too," AJ said, with Howie nodding in agreement.

"He's a strong guy," Howie added.

"I think we should go out and look for him," AJ said suddenly.

"What?" I said, "AJ, we don't know where the hell to start or even if Nick is still in the area."

"How do we know that he's not in the area? We don't and I think going out and looking for him is worth the chance," AJ argued.

"I agree with you but...."

"If you agree with me, then lets go," he said getting up from the table. Howie jumped up right after him. They just looked at me. I knew that this wasn't a good idea, but I joined in anyway. If this, by some miracle of god, worked I wanted to be there when Nick was found.

"Where do you guys think you're going?" Kevins voice called.

"I'm going to look for Nick. The police obviously aren't doing that and I feel that something has to be done so I'm doing it," AJ said seriously. I just looked at him, something about this whole event changed his perspective about police had changed.

"No you're not," Kevin said sternly.

"And who's going to stop me? You?" AJ asked obviously fighting back his anger.

"You have to let the police do their jobs, that's what their getting paid for," Kevin told him.

"No, I think their getting paid to sit on their fucking asses while we sit here and worry about one of our best friends. I'm not about to sit back and take that! If that means I have to take this shit into my own hands then so be it."

"Look you can't do that AJ. You have to stay here and wait," Kevin warned.

"I don't have to do anything alright!! If I want to go out and find one of my bests friends to make sure that he's alive then that's what I'm going to do."

"Stop this!" I yelled. I didn't want to hear them fight, "Things are already bad enough, don't make it any worse!"

"Brian," Kevin said to me.

"Wait, AJ's right! Last night and me and Caitlin called officer Hudson and she told him about an ex-boyfriend that she had and he basically said that Nick was dead," I said to him, "and I think that he's alive. We need to do something so that he will stay alive because if we wait for the police, there is no telling what's going to happen to Nick!"

Kevin just looked at me. My out-burst obviously surprised him. He had never seen me act like that, but I never had to worry about if someone I cared about was dead or alive. I couldn't take it anymore, but it was too bad that I had to let it out the way that I did.

"Brian, relax," Kevin said, "this is tearing us all up. You know as well as I do that we have to wait and see what the police come up with."

I just looked at Kevin and kept my mouth shut, I didn't want to make things any worse than they already were. AJ sat back down at the table and I looked over at him and he returned my glance. Both me and him wanted to go look for Nick, but it would just have to wait until later. Because there was no way that I was going to sit back and wonder if my best friend was dead or alive for much longer.

"Do you think Nick had his cell on him?" I suddenly though aloud.

"You know I didn't think of that," AJ said pulling his cell phone out. I smiled, we might finally have something here.

"Don't just sit there, call," I said eagerly.

"Wait," Kevin said, "what if he doesn't answer?"

"What if he does?" Howie asked.

"Just call," I said not wanting this to lead to another arguement. I watched as AJ dialed Nicks cell phone number. We all sat there waiting to see if there was a responce. I looked at AJ, who continued to let it ring. Finally AJ hung up and looked at us.

"It kept ringing until it went to his voice mail," he said. My face dripped with my disapointment. I was hoping that it would work. I thought that someone might have answered it, even if it wasn't Nick. We still had nothing which was getting to me. I wanted this to be over with already.

"It was a good idea," Kevin said. I nodded because it was a really good idea. AJ dropped his cell phone back into his pocket and sat back.

"Well, now what?" he asked.

"We wait," Kevin said, "hopefully there are some leads and they find him before anything happens."

"Morning," Caitlin said as she walked up to the table that we were sitting at.

"Hey," I said, "you had fallen asleep so I came here to get some coffee. I didn't want to wake you."

"It wasn't like I was sleeping very well anyway," she said sadly. She then walked to the chair next to me which was empty and she sat down. I don't think any of us really knew what to say at that point. It wasn't like there was much to say anyway. I looked over at Caitlin who was looking at her engagement ring. I wanted to smile, but right now there was nothing to smile about.

"How are you feeling?" Kevin finally asked.

"Really bad," she said now almost crying, "I still can't believe he's gone."

"He'll be back," AJ said, "I'll make sure of it."

Chapter 6


It had been two weeks sine Nick disappeared. The worst two weeks that anyone could ever have. After the first two days, Caitlin had completely fallen apart. The longer he was gone the less hope that she had of him coming home alive. I never gave up hope though. Something wouldn't let me, because I knew if I gave up, then he wouldn't come back.

I was not only worried about Caitlin emotionally, but physically. She had hardly eaten anything since Nick had been missing. Her skin was becoming pale from staying inside. She had refused to leave, just incase she got word of Nick's return. I didn't know what to do. I felt the same way, I wanted to stay inside and wait for Nick too, but I knew I had to keep my life moving because if I didn't I would never be able to get myself out of the ditch that I would have put myself in. Caitlin was doing what I knew would make her pain linger on.

One day, I finally went to go talk to her. She needed someone and I needed someone, even though I really didn't want to admit it to anyone. I went into Caitlins room. I was surprised to see that she wasn't in there. When I stepped fully into the room, I saw that the door to the deck was open. I smiled, glad that she was getting out and walked out to join her.

"Caitlin," I said. She turned around to face me.

"Hi Brian. I was just looking out into the ocean. You know how much Nick loved it," she smiled at the memory, "we were going to get married on a beach. Did Nick tell you that?"

"No he didn't," I told her. She smiled.

"We were. It was going to be so beautiful. We didn't decide which beach, but no matter which one we did choose, it would have been perfect. Nick had suggested maybe a beach in Jamaica or the Bahamas," she said with a single tear running down her cheek. I just looked at her.

"That sounds beautiful. I can't wait," I said trying to be optimistic.

"Come on Brian, you know as well as I do that he's not coming back."

"You never know, he might just come back."

"I used to think that too. I'd go to bed every night and tell myself that I'm one day closer to being with him again. Every morning I'd wake up and he wasn't there I knew that he would never be back again. He would never again be there to tell me that everything is going to be alright. My heart died with him."

"We don't know if he's dead or not," I told her.

"It's been two weeks. He's not coming back as much as I don't want to believe it, it's true."

"Come on Caitlin, we'll find him," I said to her. She just turned her attention back to her veiw of the ocean. Suddenly, she regained her composure and began speaking again like nothing had happened.

"Funny how things happen," she said, "just as my life is blessed with something that I've always wanted, I get it taken away from me."

"He's coming back," I said, knowing that it was becoming hopeless, but I refused to admit it.

"I wish he was. The night he disapeared, I had something that I wanted to tell him."

"What was that?" I asked.

"That I'm pregnant," she said. I just looked at her. I couldn't believe it.

"You are?"

"Yeah. I wanted to tell Nick when we went out, but you guys got called away. So I figured that I would tell him back at the hotel. While I was down there, we got so caught up in our conversation remember? While we were heading upstairs, I was thinking about how I was going to tell him. Then when I got to the room and I saw it, I just couldn't believe it."

"How far along are you?" I asked, still not believeing that she was really pregnant.

"About three months."

"When did you find out?"

"Two days before Nick disappeared. I was just waiting for the best time to tell him. We were going to have a family Brian. Nick wanted this more than you can imagine. We'd been trying to get pregnant." I looked at her, she just seemed to be lost in her own world. I wanted to know what she was thinking, but I also didn't want to hurt her again. Since I didn't know what else to do, I left. If I stayed there, what would I have done? Standing there was useless and I knew it.

So I went back to my room. I really needed to be alone. When I got back to my room, I dropped onto the couch and I felt as if I was about to cry. At that moment, I was so angry at this Jordon guy. If Nick was dead then I was going to make him pay. He would taken away a father to a child that had nothing but innosence. As I began almost overcome by my thoughts, the phone rang. I lifted myself from the couch and answered it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Mr. Littrell?" officer Hudson's voice asked.

"Yes?"

"You and Miss. Miller should come down to the station."

"Why? Did you find Nick?" I asked trying to hold back the excitment that was starting to slide into my voice.

"No, but we got Jordon," he said.

"Alright, we'll be right there," I said hanging up the phone. If they had Jordon, why the hell didn't they have Nick?? My heart finally let me believe the worst as I walked down the hall to get Caitlin.

"Caitlin," I said walking back out to the deck where she was still standing, "Officer Hudson called. He wants us to come down to the station. They have Jordon."

"Alright," Caitlin said. I tried to figure out what was going through her mind at that moment. Does she still think that Nick is alive regardless of what she's been saying.

Chapter 7

When we got to the station, we were told to wait for a few minutes. While the both of us were sitting there, we didn't say anything. I don't think anything could have been said without the fear of one of us breaking down. Finally, Officer Hudson came over to us. We both looked at him, I was still hoping that Nick had been found.

"Miss. Miller, we need you to identify him," he told her.

"Alright," she answered. I looked over at her, she had lost that little bit of hope that she did have when we left. Officer Hudson took us to a back room where we were told that we would be able to see Jordon, along with a few other men. Caitlin just had to pick Jordon out. I stood back as the guys were let in. I was glad that they couldn't see us. Caitlin didn't even think twice about telling Officer Hudson which one was Jordon.

Jordon was then taken by two officers and led to another door than the other men were. Caitlin looked at me than at officer Hudson. He didn't say anything more to us.

"Officer Hudson," I said catching him before he left.

"Yes?"

"Did he say anything about Nick?" I asked.

"No. He hasn't really said much about anything."

"Can I talk to him?" Caitlin asked. I turned my attention to her. I was completely shocked by what she had just done.

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Please," she said pleading with him. I just stood there and watched, what else was I supposed to do? Officer Hudson just looked at her, but said nothing, "I want to talk to the last person that saw the love of my life alive."

"I can't let you do that. I'm sorry. We can't risk him knowing who identified him."

"He knows it was me!!" she yelled fustrated, "who else would it be??"

"Miss. Miller, I'm sorry but you can't talk to him. But, you and Mr. Littrell can see what goes on, but you cannot discuss it with anyone," he said.

"I promise we won't," Caitlin said. I didn't really know what to say other than I would agree to any terms in hopes of finding Nick. Officer Hudson then lead us to a back room and told us to have a seat at the chairs which were in the room. He then proceded to explain, that we can see and hear everything that was going on, but Jordon wouldn't know we were watching.

Officer Hudson soon appeared in the other room. Caitlin and I just sat there as he began to talk to Jordon. I sighed at Jordon's inital denial of having anything to do with Nick's disappearence. It didn't surprise me at all, but it pissed me off. After nearly an hour, he had began saying somethings that made him sound guilty.

He had admited that he had come to hotel to talk to Nick and Caitlin, but had nothing to do with him disappearing. Finally, I could tell that Jordon was breaking down. The officers knew exactly what to say to make him nervious. I leaned closer to the window in both suspence and hope. If anything that me and Caitlin wanted to know was going to be said, it was going to happen soon.

"Okay," one officer said, "you admit that you got into a fight with Nick at the hotel. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes," Jordon answered.

"What happened after that?" I felt my heart rate rising with each passing second.

"While we were fighting at the hotel, I knocked him out. I got scared so I took him out of the room and I put him in my car. I actually thought he was dead."

"He wasn't?" officer Hudson asked.

"No," Jordon answered. I looked over at Caitlin who was finally give some hope that Nick would be back with her soon.

"What did you do after that?"

"I was driving to I don't know where then he woke up. I paniced and stopped the car. We ended up fighting again and soon we were in some park or something. Again, I over powered him and I hit him again. This time he was bleeding pretty badly."

"Did he die?"

"I don't know, he was alive when I left." I heard Caitlin gasp and I turned over to her.

"He might still be alive," she muttered. I continued to watch as officer Hudson got the discription of where he had left Nick. Caitlin and I just sat there.

"I told you he would be back," I said, "everything is going to be alright." Caitlin nodded with tears pouring from her eyes. I walked over to her and gave her a hug. She needed it.

"Miss. Miller, Mr. Littrell," officer Hudson's voice said.

"Yeah," I said turning to face him.

"We're going to check out where he told us he left Mr. Carter. I can't promise you that we'll find him alive but there still might be hope," he said finally showing compassion. I nodded at him as he exited. I turned my full attention back to Caitlin.

"Look honey, it's going to be alright. Nicky's going to be back," I said. Caitlin just continued to cry as I hugged her again. "Come on, let's go back to the hotel. Officer Hudson will call us if anything comes up." Caitlin nodded and we began to walk out of the station until we were stopped by a female police officer.

"Miss. Miller? Mr. Littrell?" she asked us.

"Yes, that's us," I said confussed.

"Officer Hudson asked that you guys come to the site. He said you guys should be there. I'm going to be taking you over there. I'm officer Davis," she informed us.

"Alright," I said to her. She smiled and lead Caitlin and I to her car.

Chapter 8


When we reached the scene of the crime, a feeling that I can't quite explain overcame me and Caitlin. We knew that this was where Nick was last known to be alive. Caitlin and I were told to wait over by the cars until officer Hudson needed us. I knew I needed to talk to her, not only for her sake, but for mine as well. I had kept all of my feelings inside because I honestly didn't know how everyone would react to my reactions.

I couldn't get up the courage to say anything to her. Everytime I looked over at her, I saw the pain that was in her soul. I saw the heartbreak happening over and over again. I knew how she felt, I just didn't know how to tell her that. We waited and we waited. Nothing happened, Nick wasn't found. I figured that he wouldn't be. Nick was a big guy and he was something that would have stuck out.

After nearly two hours of waiting, officer Hudson walked over to us. At that moment, I felt my heart sink. I knew he was coming to tell us that they found a body. Silently, I braced myself for the worse because I knew it was coming.

"Miss. Miller, Mr. Littrell," he began, "we haven't found any trace of Mr. Carter being here other than this cell phone. We don't know if it's his or not. We were hoping that you guys would know."

"It is," I said solemnly, "but if you found his phone, why can't you find him?"

"There are many possibilities. It could have been planted here to mislead us," he explained while Caitlin and I just looked on, "Or the brighter side, Nick is still alive. It's very possible that the hit to his head may have caused him to suffer from a case of amnesia and he just walked off, not knowing what else to do."

"So he could be walking around somewhere?" Caitlin asked angry.

"It's possible," he told her.

"So what can we do?" I asked wanting to be of some help.

"Nothing really," he answered, "all we can do is hope that someone will see him and recognize him and call the police."

"What are we supposed to do until then?" I asked.

"Pray," he said bluntly and then walked away. Officer Davis came up to us and gave us a ride back to the station so that I could get my car and we could go home. While on the ride to the station, I was thinking about what officer Hudson had told us. That Nick might still be alive. Hearing that gave me new hope that he would be back. Though, the more I thought about it, I began to worry about Nick. How long was he going to be able to survive alone?

A million worries flooded my mind. I had never considered that Nick might be out there, completely helpless, not even sure of who he was. Now that the possiblity was brought to my attention, I didn't want to believe it. Nick was the kind of person that probably would have been spotted by now. I knew in my gut that this just wasn't right.

After telling myself for like the millionth time to stop thinking like that, I turned my attention to Caitlin. She was now trembling uncontrolably. Her arms were wrapped around her as if she was trying to keep warm. My instincts to comfort her kicked in. I slid over in the seat and put my arms around her. In doing so, I hoped that she knew that I was suffering with her.

I let my hand wipe the tears from her cheek. I couldn't put up this act anymore. These emotions that I kept inside were begging to be let out. So without even realizing it, tears began to escape my eyes as well. When we reached the station, neither Caitlin nor myself had said anything. We then stepped out of the car and over to mine. After beginning our ride home, Caitlin finally broke the silence.

"Do you think he's alive?"

"Yes," I told her, "I think he knew he was hurt and he's somewhere getting help."

"But shouldn't the police at least have some kind of search party looking for him or something? If there is even a chance that he is alive, it's constantly getting smaller."

"I agree with you, but there's really nothing that we can do. If you want, and I think you should, take my cell phone and call officer Hudson and tell him what you just told me," I said trying to keep as much of my attention on the road as I could. I heard Caitlin dialing a number on my cell. I was glad that she decided to talk to officer Hudson.

I just listened to as much of the conversation as I could without becoming distracted. Caitlin was almost screaming at officer Hudson about finding Nick. I had assumed that he said nothing could be done, I hated that guy. Maybe we should have someone else assigned to Nicks case, someone who is actually going to care about the people involved.

I began to become fustrated as I listened to Caitlin argue with Hudson. I was getting sick of being so quiet about this. My best friend was gone and I obviously wasn't making things any better by not saying what I wanted to. Why did I have to be so damn nice all the time? I finally realized that sometimes, being nice doesn't get you anything. Look at what it got me, I have no answers about what happened to Nick. And also, I had to watch his fiance go crazy over all of this.

"He said that they can't look for him," Caitlin said giving up on holding back her tears, "he said that they can't be sure that he's actually there since no one has come foward with any information."

"What?" I yelled not caring about anything anymore.

"I know, I mean they found his phone there, shit,that would be enough for me to start looking for him. He might still be out there. I can't believe that this man can live with himself knowing what he's doing to us."

The rest of the ride back to the hotel was silent. We were both still agrivated by officer Hudson. Which I feel was completely understandable for the position that we were in. It looks a lot easier to deal with when you are just watching it happen than when you personally have to deal with it. Let me tell you right now, it's something that no human should ever have to experience.

Chapter 9


Leigh went to console Caitlin. They were becoming better friends everyday, I just wish that Nick was here to see that. I want him to know about the baby that Caitlin is going to have. Truthfully, I've been thinking about this baby a lot. This child might not know his father. I had pretty much convinced myself that I wanted to take part in this baby's life as much as I could if Nick wasn't found.

"Rok, I was thinking," AJ said storming into my room, scaring the crap out of me, "since you know where he was last, we should just go over there and see if we can find them."

"We can't man, officer Hudson...."

"To hell with 'officer Hudson,'" he said saying Hudsons name with disgust, "he's obviously not doing his job very well because if he was, he would have someone out there looking for Nick." I just looked at him because I wanted to go search for Nick, but I didn't think that it would be a good idea. "Look, we really should do this."

"Get Howie," I said, "you're right and I think we are going to need all the help that we can get."

"What about Kevin?" AJ asked me.

"He's my cousin and I love him, but he wouldn't let us do this, so we're just going to have to leave him out of this." A sly grin soon appeared across AJ's face. I could tell that he like my new attitude towards things. Probably because they were a lot like his. His smile remained on his face when he left the room and went to get Howie.

I walked over to the nightstand next to my bed and pulled open the drawer. When we first checked in, I remember having been told about flashlights and batteries in the drawer just incase there was a storm or something. I grabbed the flashlight from the drawer and put it in a backpack. I also thought it would be a good idea to take a recent picture of Nick just incase we may have come across someone who could helped. I grabbed a few pictures and I shoved them into my backpack.

AJ soon returned with Howie, and the three of us were off. As we were wakling through the hall way of the hotel I felt for the first time that I was finally doing something that would make things get better other than just saying that it would be.

When we got to my car, we all jumped right in and then we were off. I'm just glad that Kevin hadn't see us leaving because I know he would have tried to stop us from doing this. He meant well, I know, but I just couldn't sit back any more. I was sick of doing that already. Funny how no one talks to each other lately. The ride was way to quiet. I didn't like it, but I wasn't really sure what to do other than try to make some sort of plan.

"Here's the deal," I began, "while I was there, I took notice that this wasn't a residential area which means there probably wasn't any place for Nick to go. There is a patch of small woods there. I think that he might have wondered through it looking for help. We're going to start there. We are going to have to stay together unless we all have our cells on us."

"I got mine," AJ said.

"Yeah, me too," Howie answered.

"Good, this way we can cover more ground in a shorter amount of time. Which is a good thing because Nick might be living on borrowed time and we want to get to him before that time is up. We'll meet on the other side of the woods, he might have gotten through it and found some help. I brought some recient pictures of him just incase we see anyone. I also have flashlights for us just incase it gets dark before we leave."

AJ and Howie just looked at me and nodded. I could feel that they were really surprised at how I was handling things but I didn't care. Now that we had a plan, the car fell silent again. How I hate the sound of nothing. It silence seemed deafing and over wheleming and I tried my best to ignore it. Soon, the site was coming into view. All of the officers that were there when Caitlin and I were there were gone. I pulled my car to the side of the road and the three of us got out.

"Here," I said handing them both a picture and a flashlight each, "watch yourselves out there and make sure you check in with me and each other just to make sure that we are all alright."

"Alright, lets get rollin'," AJ said walking over towards the wooded area. Howie and I followed behind him. We all began to walk into the woods. AJ and Howie were out of my sight only moments later. The sun was still out but it was getting late so I was glad that I had a flashlight with me. I began to walk into the woods, taking my time to check to see if any trace of Nick had been left behind.

I continued to work at my slow pace and that's when I realized that this was going to take longer than I had expected. I didn't think that it would be a quick 1 2 3 job, but I also didn't think that we would have this much ground to cover.

Darkness soon fell over the woods that surround me. I pulled out my flashlight, boy was I glad that I remembered that they were there. Slowly I continued to make my way through the woods and I was startled by the sound of my cell ringing. I grabbed it from my pocket and answered.

"Hello?"

"Rok you find anything?" AJ's voice came loud and clear.

"No, how about you?" I asked, knowing that it was a stupid question.

"Nothing," he said disapointed, "I'm maybe only about half way through these damn trees, where could this boy be?"

"AJ, we just have to keep looking," I told him.

"I know, I wasn't giving up on you Rok. Give D a call and see if he's gotten anything."

"Okay," I said hanging up the phone and then dialed Howies cell.

"Find anything?" he answered.

"No, and neither did AJ," I told him.

"Damn, do you think we should head home and try again in the morning when we have more light?" he asked.

"No, uh, I actually want to keep going for awhile longer. Something has to turn up right?" I said hoping that Howie wouldn't leave because then me and AJ would have to take all this on by ourselves which just wasn't happening to be honest.

"Okay," Howie said, "good luck."

"You leaving?" I asked.

"No, I'm going to keep looking with you guys. I do want to find him too you know?"

"Thanks man," I said smiling to myself. I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket and I continued to search.

Chapter 10


Still nothing. We had been searching for hours. I already had to face that wrath of Kevin when he found out that we were gone, but you know what, I don't care. After I hung up with him, I felt kinda bad about what I had said. I told him that if it were me missing, he knows that he would be searching, the idea in saying that was to go for the guilt. I say we got to much gulit with that statement.

At this point, I didn't know what was going to happen or what exactly we were looking for. I didn't want to find a little piece of Nick, I wanted to find Nick in one piece, safe and sound. Finally I decided that we should just head out past the woods and see if anything was over there, so I grabbed my cell and I called AJ's.

"Rok?" he answered.

"Yeah?" I said, thinking that he had found something.

"Anything?" he asked and I became disapointed.

"No, but I was thinking that we should walk past the woods and see if there is anything on the other side. There's obviously nothing here."

"Yeah, that would be a good idea, I'll call D and tell him."

"Alright, see you guys soon," I said hanging up my cell. As I began to put it in my pocket, it began to ring again.

"Hello," I answered pretty sure that it was Howie.

"Brian, it's Caitlin. Officer Hudson called. Jordon told them were Nick really was. He wants the both of us to come down to the station," she said quickly.

"What?" I shouted.

"Apparently he was right about the cell phone being planted. He said that Jordon thought it would give him time to get away, but one of the other officers there made him crack."

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can," I told her hanging up the phone. I dialed AJ's number again and he answered it confussed.

"Rok?"

"Officer Hudson called Caitlin. He said that Nick's phone was planted over here so that Jordon could get away or at least stall any kind of punishment I guess."

"You're fucking kidding me?! I just called D and I told him...."

"I know, I know. I can't believe it myself. We spent so much time looking."

"We did do the right thing Rok you know that right?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll call Howie and tell him about the change in plans," I told AJ. He hung up his phone and I called Howie.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Howie, change in plans. Officer Hudson called Caitlin and told her that Nicks phone was only planted here and that he probably was never here in the first place. He wants me and Caitlin to go down to the station so we gotta head back," I told him.

"Damn it you're kidding me?" he asked.

"No, I wish I was, but at least that explains why we haven't found any trace of Nick at all," I commented.

"Okay, I'm turning back," he said sadly. I hung up and began to walk back to my car. I couldn't accept that we had just wasted so much time doing this to have it turn out that we were lied to. When I was walking back, a thought hit me. How did he know that Nick's phone was planted? That question enraged me and I wanted to know the answer.

After what felt like forever, I made my way out of the woods. AJ was already waiting at my car, but Howie hadn't shown yet. I slowly walked over to AJ to wait for Howie. He just looked at me but didn't say anything. I just wondered if he felt how I did, horrible, cheated, hurt.

"You feelin' alright Rok?" he asked me.

"No," I said feeling like I was going to cry, "I thought we were so close to having Nick back."

"We all thought that," he said finally taking off his sunglasses, I couldn't help but think how the hell could he see in the dark with those things on, "Shit, I thought we had 'em to."

Howie soon emerged from the woods and walked over to us. We could tell that he felt just like we did. He handed me back the flashlight, but didn't say anything. Disapointment was written all over his face. I could tell that he knew we felt the same way. We then all got into the car and we were back to the hotel.

When we got back to the hotel, Caitlin was already out side waiting for me. She walked over to the car and looked at us. AJ got out of the passanger seat to let Caitlin take it. Instead of leaving he jumped into the back seat.

"I'm going with you guys, I want to know what kind of circus that are running over there," AJ informed us. I looked to the back seat, Howie was also still there. I smiled, I was glad that we were all in this together.

"I don't have a problem with that," Caitlin said, "as long as I find out where the hell Nick is, I don't care what it takes." I smiled at her and we pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the station.