Summary: Nick Carters life is changed for ever when he finds out he has cancer. How will his friends, girlfriend and family react and how Nick himself react to the news?
Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: Group, Kevin, Nick, Other
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Death
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Word count: 6930 Read: 9117
Published: 07/20/09 Updated: 07/26/09
Story Notes:
This is another Nick Carter has cancer story but I promise that it will be different, at least I haven't read a story like this yet. Please give it a chance.
1. Prologue by TwiHardPotterFan
2. Chapter 1 by TwiHardPotterFan
3. Chapter 2 by TwiHardPotterFan
4. Chapter 3 by TwiHardPotterFan
5. Chapter 4 by TwiHardPotterFan
6. Chapter 5 by TwiHardPotterFan
Prologue by TwiHardPotterFan
Prologue
They say everything happens for a reason. That God has a plan for all of us. But sometimes I wonder, can God make a mistake? Can he trust other people to help us? What if we chose something that he hadn't planned. We are human and we were given a free will. What if we did something to help someone but it was illegal? All these thoughts have been in my mind lately.
My life changed 9 months ago. My boyfriend got bad news that changed all of our life's. It was a cruel set of words that made us all think of what God has planned for us. Is God cruel or is he loving?
This is the story about what happened to us. Please don't judge us for the choices we have made in life. For what we have decided to do because really you can never know what you would choose to do in any situation until you are put into it.
Like you we are just ordinary people who are having a hard time in life the only difference is our lifes are being constantly splashed in the media and we are not given privacy for the life styles we chose. We are young, we are still learning, we love and we hurt just like you.
This is our story.
Chapter 1 by TwiHardPotterFan
Angel Of Mercy
Chapter One
Nick Carter sat in his doctors office with his band mate Kevin Richardson. He stared at the doctor in shock wondering if he had heard wrong.
Cancer.
"You have three tumors on your left arm Nick, starting with the upper part of your humerus. All the tests pointed to the fact that you had some type of cancer, doing an MRI showed us that you have the tumors."
Nick swallowed hard. He didn't find anything funny at all about the cancer why did the doctor think it was so funny?
"Cancer isn't very funny Doctor Brown." He said softly.
The doctor gave Nick a gentle smile.
"The Humerus is a part of your arm Nick." Doctor Brown explained showing Nick the chart.
Nick had no idea what to say to this. He was young. Just 21 years old and he was in the middle of his blossoming career with the Backstreet Boys. How could he have cancer? He ate healthy....well maybe sometimes and he worked out a lot doing the dance routines and playing basketball with his best friend Brian.
"What do we do doctor?" Kevin asked for Nick. Nick couldn't talk he was speechless.
The doctor looked over his notes his jaw set, his mouth in a tight line.
"Chemo but first we are going to have to amputate the arm."
Nick's jaw dropped open.
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!"
Kevin reached over holding Nicks hand.
"Nick I know you are upset but please calm down." He said in his soothing drawl.
"Calm down? YOU WANT ME TO FUCKIN CALM DOWN WHEN THE DOCTOR JUST SAID THAT THEY ARE GOING TO SAW MY ARM OFF?" Nick shouted his heart was racing wildly.
"Do you want to die?" Kevin asked his younger friend.
Nick looked up meeting Kevins fatherly gaze.
"No. I.... I don't want to die." Nick said softly his blue eyes watery.
Kevin turned back to the doctor.
"Dr. Brown, does it have to be amputated?"
Doctor Brown nodded gravely.
"There really isn't a choice I am sorry. He is in the advanced stages of Osteosarcoma. This cancer developes in people between the ages of 10 and 25."
Nick turned away drowning out the doctor and his medical terms. He would let Kevin deal with all the ugly details. Nick let his thoughts drift to what had set off the series of tests that would determine his cancer.
It had been another sunny day, between concerts and Nick was at the park playing one on one with Brian. Nick had run for a lay up with his left arm when he suddenly felt a sharp pain. He had yelped out and clutched at his arm in horrible shooting pain.
Brian had asked him what was wrong but Nick didn't know. A week before he had hit himself during rehersals and the pain was horrible then but it had gone away. At the time that it hurt during basketball, the pain was lasting a heated throbbing. Brian had taken Nick back to the hotel and was worried when he saw that Nicks arm was swollen some.
Brian had gone off to get Kevin and Kevin had demanded that Nick go the the ER. Everything from there had gone down hill.
"Nick are you ready budy?"
Nick looked up, snapping out of his day dream. Kevin was looking down at him.
"Where are we going?" Nick asked.
"Home, we have to pack your things and take you to the hospital to be checked in."
Nick gasped it was all happening so fast. His mind had barely wrapped around anything the doctor was saying. He stood up shaking, rubbing his arm absent minded. Kevin reached out putting his hand on his younger band mates shoulder.
"The sooner this gets done Nick the better. We have to get you well again."
"But to chop my arm off..... Kevin I am kinda attached to it." Nick said weakly trying to joke.
"I know little man, I know how hard it is. But we have to beat the cancer, have to make you well again because we love you."
Nick swipped quickly at his eyes. He couldn't cry infront of Kevin it was too hard.
"It's ok to cry Nick. It doesn't mean you are weak." Kevin said his voice chocked up with emotion.
Nick shook his head hard and followed his friend. How would he tell Brian, the other guys. How would he tell Lil J? His girlfriend of two years. He swallowed hard following Kevin to the car. This was his worst night mare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick sat on his bed across from his girlfriend AJ. Anita Jayne was her name but her friends knew her as AJ. Nick had complained that it got confusing with the Backstreet AJ so they all started to call her Lil J. He had just told her what was going to happen.
AJ twirled a strand of her hair around her index finger. She stared straight into Nicks eyes.
"Cancer." She said soflty.
"They are going to chop my arm off AJ." He said bitterly.
AJ reached out taking his hand into her own.
"Don't be so crude." She said softly letting her thumb brush over his hand.
"What am I supposed to do AJ! And and don't you even care about what that means?"
She met his eyes.
"What that you can no longer give me bear hugs with two arms and it has to be one? So what?"
Nick blinked. He hadn't expected her to react the way she was. He thought for sure she would dump him.
"I won't be able to wear a wedding ring when we get married."
"You can on your right hand."
"Why are you being like this?"
"Like what?"
"Supportive!"
"What did you want me to do?"
"Most normal girls would run away when their boyfriend tells them they are losing a limb."
"I'm not really normal Nick."
"Don't be with me because you pity me?"
"I'm not."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because I love you."
Nick stopped. He turned to look at his girlfriend. He could see the truth in her eyes. She did love him.
"You're crazy AJ."
She shrugged.
"Maybe I am, but I am staying by your side."
Nick hugged her slowly with both of his arms. He knew it would be the last time that he would be able to do it.
"I love you AJ and I am sorry."
"You're sorry because you got cancer and you didn't ask for it? Nick you did nothing wrong. You didn't pick this you didn't ask for it to happen."
Nick wet her hair crying into it.
"Then I must be a bad person!"
"How could you think that?"
"Because why else would I have gotten cancer? Why else would I be losing my arm?"
AJ stroked his cheeks. She kissed his tears softly and held his chin.
"Nickolas Gene Carter you are an amazing man. Things happen and we can't always know why but it could be worse."
Nick took a deep breath then leaned against her.
"Make love to me." He said soflty into her hair.
AJ pulled back. She pulled her tank top over her head. Nicks hand reached around her back unhooking her bra. AJ tugged Nicks shirt over his head they pressed together skin to skin their lips meeting.
Nick gently lifted her up. He ignored the pain in his arm as he shifted AJ under him. He looked down at her, into her soft grey eyes as he slid into her warmth. All the thoughts of cancer leaving his mind as AJ over took him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick pulled on his jeans then leaned over kissing AJ.
"Promise?" He asked.
"I wouldn't be any where else tomorrow but by your side before and after the surgery." She said sitting up pulling the sheet around herself.
"This is your last chance to run. You can still escape." Nick told her.
"Stop." She scolded.
He pulled his shirt on and looked at her again.
"As a matter of fact Nick I was thinking of something."
"What's up babe?"
"I was thinking of moving into your apartment you are going to need me."
Nick stroked her hair unable to believe how lucky he was to have her.
"I would love that."
AJ smiled and kissed him.
"Go, I'll be there tonight."
Giving her one last kiss, Nick stood up and met Kevin outside. They drove to the hospital.
Chapter 2 by TwiHardPotterFan
Chapter Two
Kevin stood with Nick in the hospital room.
"Well at least you don't have to worry about room mates little man." Kevin told Nick squeezing his shoulder.
Nick sighed placing his bag down.
"Hope I don't die of boredom."
"Nick you know that we are going to be with you at all times. One of us will always be there for you."
"I'm sorry Kevin. I'm not trying to be an ass."
Kevin shook his head.
"I don't blame you for acting how you are, this is scary and hard. You have every right to be angry."
"Why do you think this happened?" Nick asked holding his pillow.
Kevin stood silently for a few moments. He took a deep breath and met Nicks eyes.
"I don't know Nicky."
Nick bit his lip. Kevin always had answers for everything.
"What are the phantom pains that the doctors keep talking about?"
"You are gonna feel pain as if your arm is still there but it isn't. It's I guess just your body's way of remembering."
"Yet another thing to suck." Nick said.
"Hey why don't you order yourself up some dinner because after 8 you are not allowed to eat anymore until after the surgery."
Nick made a face.
"Hospital food?"
Kevin shrugged apologetically.
"Think again!" A voice said from the door.
Nick and Kevin turned seeing Howie, Brian and AJ holding bags from McDonalds.
"Big Mac anyone?" AJ asked.
Nick smiled gratefully at his friend but the smile didn't reach his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Howie asked him.
"Where is Lil J?"
"She had some things to take care of but she promised to be here before visiting hours are over." Brian answered taking a seat.
"Is she doing ok?" Nick asked getting worried that AJ had finally taken his advise and had split.
"She is fine she is just packing up some things. She wants to be moved into your apartment as soon as she can so that way when you get home, she will only focus on helping you."
Nick felt heat flow through him. He knew that both he and Lil J were young but they were deeply in love and he couldn't imagine his life without her.
"Aw Nicky, you are blushing!" Big AJ teased him.
Kevin smacked the back of AJ's head.
"Leave Carter alone."
AJ rubbed his head sulking.
"I was just kidding!"
Nick took a bite from his burger and chewed slowly. He realized that he ate the burger with both his hands holding it. Suddenly he felt over whelmed. How would he eat, tie his shoes, get dressed, he was going to be helpless and hopeless.
"What's wrong little man?" Kevin asked seeing Nick's distressed look.
"Kevin I am going to be like a new born! I won't know how to do anything!"
"The doctors and your therapist will be here to help you every step of the way Nick. You have Lil J and the rest of us to help you as well."
Nick sat gritting his teeth trying to hold back the tears of frustration. He angrily swiped his cheeks as his body betrayed him and the tears began to fall.
Brian reached over soothing Nicks head.
"It's going to be ok Nick, you are not alone, you will never be alone, if I have to move in with you and Lil J to help you I will." He drawled in a similar tone to his cousin.
"Oh nice a three some!" AJ said punching Nicks knee softly.
"Why me God, what did I do to deserve these morons?" Kevin asked looking up at the ceiling.
"Brian is the one who is best friends with Jesus not you Kev." Howie said which made Nick giggle a bit.
"Shut up Howie." Kevin said throwing a french fry at him which led to a 20 minute french fry food fight.
"Excuse me!" Lil J shouted as she walked in and a fry stuck to her hair. She stood stern her hands on her hips.
"Great, the one person bossier than Kevin is here now." Brian said mock annoyed voice rolling his eyes.
"Nick needs to get in bed, he needs to be well rested for tomorrow." She said walking in.
Nick reached up and picked the fry out of her hair for her and smiled. Brian smiled seeing the little action, he was happy his friend had someone who cared so much about him. Nick and Lil J sat together talking for a while until the guys headed out promising that they would be back first thing in the morning, before Nick had to be taken.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I watched AJ turn down my bed. She was so loving I had no idea how I could have gotten so lucky and been able to snatch her up as my girlfriend.
I loved to wrap my fingers in her black silky hair. She has the softest hair out of anyone I knew. Her grey eyes were friendly and playful most of the time but turned an icy cold glare when she was angry.
I allowed myself a smile as she fluffed my pillow. I loved how she acted like a wife in some ways. And for once it did not scare me.
AJ was different from the girls I dated before. She was a lot more serious. She loved to stay home and read or watch a movie sometimes. While past girlfriends of mine loved the night life in clubs, AJ was happier at home cooking for me and curling up for a nice chat.
I met AJ when I was 19. I had been sent to community service after I had gotten arrested for DUI. I could not believe it when I found out that she volunteered her time because she liked to. I called her a goody and constantly made fun of her. I didn't know that her old man was in prison for drunken driving and hitting another car killing four teens. I didn't know that AJ felt guilty for her father and so she worked her butt of helping the youth.
I don't honestly know when my annoyance for AJ turned into love. I think it was when we took the kids from our group on a field trip to the beach. There was a ton of very beautiful girls there all in skimpy bikinis. AJ was slightly out of place in her one piece but it didn't seem to bother her. She sat reading as the chaperones got the kids lunch. A little boy who wasn't from our group was crying. No one but AJ looked up. He it turns out had been lost and it was AJ who helped him. I realized at that moment that I loved her. She was kind to everybody. I realized that she would be the perfect wife not the blond bimbos with fake breasts that I tended to find myself dating.
It was hard to get AJ to trust me but I finally wore her down and we had our first date, the rest is history and we have been together since.
I caught her eye as she looked up and smiled.
"Come here princess." I called to her holding my arms open for her.
As she carefully sank into my arms I pulled her as close as I could. My cheek rested against the top of her head and I quickly scanned her body for bruising. Her moms new boyfriend tended to beat her if she didn't have dinner ready for them.
"You need to get to bed soon." Her soft voice broke through my thoughts.
"I don't want to go to sleep, the morning will come faster that way." I admitted.
She shifted so she could look up at me.
"Want me to read to you until you fall asleep?"
I nodded and crawled into bed. She laid beside me and reached into her purse. I winced playfully seeing what she brought out.
"Are you kidding me?"
She grinned and kissed my eyelids.
"Shut your eyes my Edward."
I laughed softly settling in and listened as she read to me about Bella moving to Forks. Bella was just about to see the Cullen's as I finally fell out.
Chapter 3 by TwiHardPotterFan
Chapter Three
After the guys left Nicks room, they headed to the chapel. None of them were ready to leave the hospital even though they were no longer allowed in Nick's room for the rest of the night. The four guys sat on the hard wooden pew of the front row and silently began their prayers.
"Dear God, please help my brother Nick. He has cancer and is going to have his arm amputated in the morning. We do not know what is going to happen, how he will recover and we are scared. Please send your angels next to his side during the operation. He is so young and has a full life ahead of himself. Heavenly Father hear my prayer and bless Nick with your grace." Brian prayed silently his head bowed.
During dinner he had put on his face that would look happy. He and Nick were Frick and Frack. He was there for Nick and had to be brave when all he really felt like he wanted to do was to run screaming. He was so angry for Nick. He felt disloyal to God for his anger but he still had his faith and he prayed it would be enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sat back silently as I watched the guys pray for Nick. I knew that all of us were scared. Kevin had lost his own father to cancer but was acting brave for the benefit of Nick. Brian was sweating bullets but was trying to hide it as best as he could. He was the best friend, he had to stay calm in the situation. Howie, the peacemaker the sweet one of us all kept chewing on his lower lip. I swear the guy was going to have to stay away from salsa for a while.
As for myself, I had no idea what to say or what to do. I'm not a guy big on my emotions but Nick was my kid brother. He was the annoying blond who got on my nerves but who I loved to death. It was hurting me seeing what he was going through. I was struggling with myself. My throat burned for a drink, my lungs were begging me for a cig.
I drummed my finger tips against my thighs, my eyes shut. It would be so easy for me, so easy for me to sink back into my old habits. I could let the smooth, fiery liquid slid down my throat and sooth my raging thirst. I could almost taste the vodka, the whisky or even the beer.
When I took a deep breath slowly, I could almost picture myself taking a nice long drag from a cig. I could almost fill the smoke filling my lungs and relaxing me.
"AJ?" Howie's voice broke into my thoughts.
I opened my eyes glancing at him.
"Kevin decided that he is going to spend the night in the waiting room. I think Brian and I are going to as well. Do you want to join us?"
I rubbed the back of my sore neck, shaking off my dangerous thoughts.
"Yeah, I think I will stay too." I answered him. I had to stay, I had to be there for Nick but I also had to be there for myself. I knew that if I were to go home, I would fall back into the old dangerous patterns that had nearly claimed my life.
We walked into the waiting room settling down for the night. None of us were going to be able to sleep so we all talked quietly about what was going to happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Early the next morning, Nick was awoken by the nurse. He looked around frantically. He and the nurse were the only ones in the room.
"Where are my friends?" Nick asked her nervously.
"I asked them wait out in the hall until I am done taking your vitals and prepping you."
Nick breathed out. He was glad he wasn't alone and that the others had kept their promise.
The nurse gently took his blood pressure and his temperature. Nick could feel his heart racing. He knew each second led him closer to his surgery, led him closer to waking up without his arm.
He kept wishing that it was just a bad dream, that he would wake up in his hotel room and that it would be fading from his memory and he would be fine, hanging out with the guys, getting ready for a concert, having dinner with AJ.
He kept staring at his arm, the red irritated skin, the swollen ness due to the tumors. Slowly he wiggled his fingers, it would be the last time he would be able to do that. Tears stung his eyes again.
"Would you like some tissue?" The nurse asked him kindly.
He silently shook his head. He couldn't even be embarrassed.
"Hey there angel." Lil J said coming into his room. She bent and kissed his cheek.
"It's almost time." Nick said, his voice horse from crying and holding the tears in as best as he could.
She slid her hand down into his, Nick's hand shook, it was it. The last time he could do this.
"Please AJ!" He suddenly begged. "Please get me out of here! Don't let them rip me apart." He begged his eyes wild, tears spilling down his face.
She took both of his hands into hers. She kissed them tenderly.
"You have to get well darling, you can't let the cancer win." She said trying to sooth him. All she wanted to do was to cry herself.
"Come on Nicky. Calm down now. Ssshhh just relax you don't want to make yourself sick now sshhh." She ran her fingers through his hair.
Nick trembled hard. He broke down into hard sobs.
"I'm scared AJ, I am so scared." He sobbed his face in her chest.
AJ couldn't help it the tears began to spill. She held Nick close to her rocking him as his body raked with sobs. She looked up as the guys entered alarmed. Her eyes met Kevin's first. She saw his green eyes tearing from seeing them.
"Please take me home." Nick begged the guys.
"God Nick, we would if we could, we will take you home, just as soon as you start to get better," Kevin said moving forward.
The tears were now falling down his face. All of them were crying. They had done their best to be as strong as they could but they knew that this was a dangerous situation. Life was changing for them all.
The nurse came back in with the doctor.
"We are ready to take you down Nick. This is doctor Spencer, he is going to give you your anesthesia.
"NO! BRIAN PLEASE DON'T LET THEM PLEASE! I DON'T WANT MY ARM CUT OFF I DON'T WANT CANCER. PLEASE TAKE ME HOME!" Nick screamed. His heart felt like it was going to explode.
Doctor Spencer injected the anesthesia into Nicks IV.
"AJ, AJ please." Nick begged reaching out for her.
She didn't bother to wipe her tears. She took his hand.
"I'm sorry Nick, I am so sorry. I love you." She said as his eyes fluttered and the medicine took him over.
They walked with him as he was wheeled down, at the double doors, Doctor Spencer faced them.
"We will come get you in a few hours." Then he disappeared behind Nick.
AJ turned towards Kevin, she laid her face into his chest and cried as if though she would never be able to stop.
Chapter 4 by TwiHardPotterFan
We all waited for Nick, the room was thick with tension. The guys kept praying and kept saying positive things. I did my best to go along, Whispering prayers softly, begging God for help but nothing was helping the fear that was set deep within my heart.
I sat near the window, my head in my hands. I took deep slow breaths hoping that it would slow my racing heart.
“Nick WILL be ok AJ.” Brian said as he came to sit beside me. “This is such a hard time but things will turn out ok in the end. I know that they will.”
I let him take my sweaty hand into his. Brian was like an older brother. I knew that I could always tell him what was on my mind, how I felt, if I had questions he could answer me.
“I just have such a bad feeling Brian.” I said softly.
“We just need Nick to get well again.” Brian told me squeezing my hand.
Well, I thought. That is what matters.
“J, you are probably feeling horrible about how Nick went into the surgery. He was crying a lot and that upset you.” Kevin said joining us.
I bit my lip.
“It was natural for him to be afraid and to cry but right now what we have to focus on is the treatments, taking care of him, helping him learn how to live life with one arm.”
I let out my breath slowly trying to ease some of the tension.
“You are right, as usual Kev.” I said offering him a weak smile.
He mirrored mine.
“Of course.”
I looked out the window. Two hours had already gone by, I wished that I could be in the room with him, to show him just how much that I loved him. I thought back to when we had first met.
“AJ we are getting a new volunteer today, would you please help him out?”
I rolled my eyes, a new volunteer probably meant some spoiled brat who broke the rules and as a punishment was helping out the less fortunate kids. People hardly ever volunteered for this job. They were usually forced into it.
“Alright Cassandra, what time will he be here?”
“Around 1 PM.”
I glanced at the clock. It was almost noon. I still had time to myself to think of how I would adjust to the new guy. I prayed that he wouldn't be yet another cocky, full of himself jerk. I wouldn't hold my breath though.
I did my best to ignore the ticking clock and just focused on the kids. I made them tuna for lunch with glasses of milk. I had just finished passing out the food when the door slammed open. I jumped and looked up. There he was the new guy.
I looked him over with narrowed eyes. He was pretty tall. Over six feet I'm sure. He had short spiky blond hair, and I thought I could see blue eyes. He was frowning and looking disgusted to be here. I glanced at the clock. It was 1:03.
“You're late.” I told him annoyed.
He cocked his brow at me his arms crossed over his broad chest.
“By three minutes only.”
“Well every single minute counts. You are expected to show up on time here.” I told him not bothering to hide my annoyance.
He rolled his eyes.
“Well I am here. What do you want me to do?”
“Start getting together cookies for the kids, they are eating their tuna now.”
He glanced at the table.
“Tuna, milk and cookies? Yum great lunch.” He snorted.
“Yeah well sorry not everyone lives off of pizza and beer.”
“What’s wrong with pizza and beer?” He demanded.
I gave a pointed look at his beer belly. Actually it was kind of cute but I would never
admit that to this egomaniac.
He flushed and I smirked. Score one for me. He went into the little kitchen area and began to set out the cookies for the kids. I watched him he looked so familiar.
“So blondie, what’s your name?”
He looked at me in shock.
“You have no idea who I am?”
I shook my head.
“Nick Carter…”
“Oh, the boy band member.” I stated.
“You say that like you noticed a dead animal on the road.” Nick said grumpily.
I shrugged.
“I'm not really into your kind of music I guess.”
I could feel him staring at me, trying to figure me out.
“What kind of music do you listen to then?”
I shrugged.
“All kinds. Classical, Rock and so on.”
“Who is your favorite singer?”
I became thoughtful. There were a lot of singers that I liked to listen to.
“I really enjoy Pat Benatar, Michael Jackson, Joan Jett…” I said listing a few.
He smirked at me.
“What”? I asked him unsure of what his look meant.
“Consider yourself a bit of a heartbreaker there?”
“Just go get the damn cookies Nick.” I said annoyed with him all over again.
He winked and walked away. I knew that I was eventually going to strangle him if this continued.
“AJ.” Kevin said trying to get my attention.
I looked up shaking my head to ride myself of the day dream.
“What’s going on?” I asked Kevin softly.
“They are taking Nick into the recovery room now. The surgery is over.” He said.
“Are we able to go see him?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
I jumped out of my chair and raced towards recovery. I couldn't stand to be away from Nick any longer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The nurses watched as Nicks friends raced into the room. They knew it would mean a lot to Nick that his friends would be there when he woke up.
Kevin gasped seeing Nick. It was harder than he expected it to be. He gently touched Nicks right shoulder not to wake him but to let him know that he was there.
Lil J was leaning over him, gently kissing his forehead to let him know that she was there as well for him.
“Well, he made it.” Howie whispered softly.
The others nodded relieved. Their brother was alive.
Brian’s eyes kept going to the place where Nicks left arm should have been.
“I can't believe that it is really gone.” He whispered.
“All that matters is that he is alive.” Kevin said.
“I know but before, when he still had his arm I could pretend that it was all nothing more than a nightmare. Now with his arm gone, I am slapped with the reality that Nick’s life is different.”
“He is still Nick Carter.” J whispered softly. Her eyes were still on Nick’s sleeping face.
“Yes, he will always be our Nick no matter what.” Big AJ said gruffly.
Everyone gathered closer waiting for Nick to wake up. The time now was ticking slowly.
They were all full of nervous energy waiting for their friend to wake up. Finally about half
an hour later, Nick groaned softly.
“Honey?” Lil J asked him softly.
“AJ?” He whispered.
She kissed his right hand.
“I am right here Nick. I am here and so are the guys. Come on now and wake up.”
They watched as Nick struggled to open his eyes. He was still very groggy.
“Hey there Nicky.” Brian greeted him with a small smile.
Nick looked at all of their faces.
“Hi.” He croaked out.
“You made it through kid.” Big AJ told him ruffling his hair.
“I made it.” Nick repeated his voice soft.
Lil J leaned over him and gently kissed his forehead pushing back his hair.
“Rest now Nick. Everything is going to be ok. You made it through the worst. The rest will be down hill.”
Nick met her eyes and he smiled for her.
“Will you stay with me?” He asked her.
“Forever Nick. You are stuck with me. And even when you are sick of me and begging me to leave you alone, I will be by your side still."
“I'd never ask you to leave.” He whispered as he slowly began to fall asleep again.
When he was asleep everyone looked at each other again. There was hope in their faces now but there was also still a lot of fear. This was only the beginning
Chapter 5 by TwiHardPotterFan
Chapter Five
A few days had passed. The guys and AJ had a routine going for being with Nick. She wanted to be with him as much as possible and made it that way. All extra stuff in her life was over. She spent every spare second with Nick and she didn't regret what she had chosen. Either her friends would understand or else they weren't her real friends.
The guys were also spending as much time with Nick as they could. They had the band work to do, interview, keeping fans updated on Nick but whenever they could, they would be at the hospital too. They were a family and they were working together.
Due to his fame, Nick had a whole section roped off for himself. He had a team of nurses and doctors to help him and he didn't take it for granted.
It was his chemo day and as usual AJ was there with him. The sessions were long and hard and after the first one he had gotten sick. The doctors told him to expect it to happen. He hated it and it embarrassed him to cry in front of his girl but at times he couldn't stop it.
AJ pushed Nicks wheel chair taking him to his Chemo.
"Aren't I too heavy for you?" Nick asked her concerned that was she doing too much.
"Not at all Nick, the wheels make it easier anyway."
She pushed him through he double doors. The nurse looked up and greeted them, she led them both to a corner and set Nick up for his IV treatment.
"You can go." Nick told AJ again.
"I will be fine."
"Five hours is a really long time."
She looked up and at him her face a tiny bit tense.
"Do you want me to go?"
"NO! I just don't want you hating me for this later." He said softly.
AJ knelt beside him taking his right hand.
"Nick I want you to stop talking like that please! I know you are hurting. You are hurting badly because of all of this but please stop thinking that I hate you or that the guys do."
He looked down at her. His face was hard to read. He leaned forward kissing her forehead. She laid her head in his lap just wanting to be close to him. He slowly ran his fingers through her hair. He loved how soft it was and that it always smelt of coconuts.
AJ stayed kneeling at his side, her head in his lap just resting.
"Do you want a pillow for your legs?" He asked her twirling a lock of her hair around his finger.
"No, I'm fine for now." She answered him her eyes shut.
Nick fell silent. They were so close that they didn't need to always be talking, they could just be together in silence. He kept his hand in her hair, laid his head back and shut his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up still tired even though I just had had a long nap. My mouth felt like I had been sucking on cotton. I looked down beside me and found AJ tucked up against my good side her head on my chest. When she was with me we'd take naps together. The good thing about being Nick Carter is that they let her crawl into bed with me whenever I wanted her there. Truthfully I could keep her there forever.
I shifted a bit. I desperately needed water my mouth was so dry but I didn't want to wake her. I wanted her to have as much rest as possible because otherwise she was constantly taking care of me. Cleaning up my puke after Chemo, wheeling my wheel chair, helping me to the bathroom, sponge bathing me, feeding me and so on.
"What's wrong Nick?" She asked suddenly.
"I'm sorry I woke you."
She sat up sleep still in her grey eyes but she smiled.
"I'm fine. Do you need something?"
"Water please."
She got up pouring me a glass and I sat up taking a drink. She ran her hand through my hair and gasped suddenly.
"AJ?" I turned to her confused and I was stunned.
In her hand was some of my hair. I looked at my pillow, another few clumps were there.
"Great. Hope you enjoy having a bald boyfriend." I said bitterly.
"Nick..." She began.
"SHUT UP AJ I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU TRYING TO TELL ME IT'S OK OR THAT I'M LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!" I threw the water glass against the wall and watched it shatter.
AJ stood a look of fear in her eyes. Fear that I had put there. I dropped my head defeated.
"Why don't you go for a walk or something?" I suggested I really needed to be alone.
Slowly she got her purse and headed out. I was such an ass for doing that to her. I called the nurse and sat back.
Lonely, I turned on the TV but just stared at it basically in a coma. The door opened around an hour later and I looked up.
"OH MY GOSH WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!" I shouted as AJ walked in.
"Just had a hair cut." She said shrugging.
"Y you're bald!"
"Oh am I?" She said taking a seat in the chair instead of on my bed.
I stared at her. Her long beautiful hair was gone. Her head completely shaved.
"AJ." I called softly to her. I knew she was mad at me.
"Oh good. Gossip Girl is on." She said of her favorite show.
"AJ please? I don't mean to be such an ass." I begged her. I hated her to be mad at me.
Slowly she turned and looked at me. I held my arm out inviting her back in with me. She sighed hard but got up and walked to me and lay down at my side.
"Why did you shave your head?"
"Well I cut off 13 inches to be donated to Locks For Love, then the rest I asked to shave so you wouldn't have to do this alone."
I swallowed hard. I didn't want to cry. I was becoming such a pussy.
"I love you." I whispered and kissed her bald head.
"You know I love you." She responded as the door opened.
"FREAKIN A!" I shouted seeing Kevin, Brian, Howie and AJ walk in. They too were fully bald.
"Meet the newest hottest boy band in town. The Baldy Boys." AJ announced with a grin.
"You are all very ugly without hair." I informed them cheerfully. The first time I had been happy in ages.
"Your girlfriend is very demanding." Kevin said smiling at her fondly.
"I am one lucky son of a bitch."
AJ looked at me suddenly. Her eyes were tense.
"Well since you are in a good mood there is something else I wanted to tell you" She said slowly.
I did not like the tone of her voice or how she could not meet my eyes. I searched her face wondering.
"What is it?" I finally asked her.
"Well, Raychelle called today. Your sister.....she wants to see you."
My eyes narrowed. I had nothing to do with my family.
"Tell her not to come." I told her harshly.
I almost didn't care when she winced.
"Too late." A voice from the door said.
I turned. There she was. My sister.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.