Chapter 1
He opened the box, watching as the diamond glittered in the suns rays. His heart pounded. He had no idea how she would take this. But he knew he had to at least try. This was the only woman whom he had ever really loved with his heart, whom he could ever really say he was IN LOVE WITH. The only woman he could really ever see himself call wife. Everyone called him a fool, but he didn’t really feel like one. He just felt stupid because it had taken so long. He sighed, closed the box and stuffed it in his pocket. He couldn’t delay anymore, hell, he had already delayed these last 30 plus years. He walked up the pathway and lightly knocked on the door. After a few moments, he heard her unlock the door. She smiled and ushered him in. Her smile could melt his heart over and over again.

“Hi,” she whispered. His lips lifted up. Yes, right on every account.

-----
2 years ago…

He leaned against the bar, his fingers playing with the straw. Was what he did the right thing? Just because it had been a little over a year didn’t mean he had to really ask for her hand, did he? And right now, he knew he shouldn’t be second guessing himself. He loved her, he knew this.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Howie took a sip of his drink and shook his head.

“Whatever man. Who you tryin’ to fool?” Alex had to chuckle at that, for Howie was right. He couldn’t fool them anymore than he could fool himself.

“I asked Theresa to marry me.” Howie blinked a couple of times; not really understanding why that thought got Alex so down. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“So, than explain.”

“Part of me loves her.” Howie’s eyebrows shot up, just like Alex knew they would have. “I know, man, I know. I do love her. But I can’t help but feel that part of me only did it because it was the next step.” Howie’s hand landed on AJ’s shoulder.

“Let me give ya piece of advice, since I’m now going through a divorce here. Marriage is not always the next step. And it’s really not something to enter into lightly. Believe me man, if you don’t love her with all your heart, the marriage will never work. And Theresa is not the one that believes in divorce.”

“I know D. I just…”

“Don’t want her to get away?” Alex smiled.

“Something like that.”

“Well, man, if you love her, than it’s a good start. How about we go kill some of those negative thoughts though.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Dance some.”

“With whom?”

“Come on Alex, there’s tons of females. And Theresa knows you wouldn’t do anything.” Alex had to agree. If anything, Theresa was very understanding. She knew he was away on vacation, she agreed with her blessing. That also meant some partying, so long as it didn’t go past any boundaries, and he knew he could keep that promise.

-----
He closed his door, making his way to his bed. He was tired, and he knew that Theresa would probably be calling, asking him how his night went. And he didn’t even mind if she did call, he just was drained. He flung his arm over his eyes, closing his eyes, knowing the vibration of the phone would wake him. And wake him it did, five hours later. He groaned, seeing the sun start to peek through the blinds. He reached for his phone, surprised to find that it was pushing 8 in the morning.

“Hello?”

“Well, good morning sleepy pants.”

“Hey babe.” He could feel her frown. Well, he wasn’t a morning person, everyone knew that.

“I’m sorry sweetie. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just thought you’d be up by now, enjoying the sights, ya know.” He sighed. And he knew she heard it. Well, this wasn’t a good start to the day. “Oh, um…”

“Don’t. I’m sorry baby. I just, I don’t know what’s going on. I came into the room last night and crashed. I feel so drained.”

“Sweetie, you’ve been on the go for the last few years it seems, non stop things to do. Of course you’re drained. That’s why you need this time, alone, or with a couple of friends. No work, no nothing but having fun.” He smiled, knowing she couldn’t see it, but he was thankful he had her. She did understand him. One of the few females who did, it seemed.

“So, why didn’t you call last night?” He asked, turning over, trying to block out the sun. She chuckled and he could see her shaking her head.

“Because I knew you were tired. And you were out partying the night away. So, I figured I’d play the nice person for a change and let you rest.”

“You’re way too good for me.”

“No, I just know you. Now, sweetie, get some rest. Call me if you get a moment.” He grabbed the other pillow and hugged it to him, wishing she was here. Or at least for the moment.

“Just a few more minutes. You know how I love talking to you.”

“Even in the early morning, you still like lay on the charm.”

“You’re my baby. You would wonder what is up if I ever stopped.”

“Oh Alex, people would never understand the real you.” He heard her slight giggle and had to smile himself. “Listen, you make sure D doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“What makes you think he’s here?”

“Oh, because he’s divorced and you guys are almost attached to the hip.”

“Oh, someone thinks she has jokes, huh?”

“Baby, I know I got jokes. But, I really am going to let you go. And you can call me later. I’d hate to intrude on your fun.”

“You know I love talking to you.”

“I know, but this was for you. For you to relax, that’s it.”

“Okay. Well, I’m gonna jump in the shower than I’ll call you later.”

“Okay. Have fun. Love you.”

“Love you too.” And what that, he snapped his phone shut, laying it back on the table by his bed. He actually felt better talking to her. He knew he was making the right choice. With that, he jumped off the bed and headed to the shower.

-----
He leaned back against his chair, smirking at his friend’s antics.

“What are you smirking at?”

“D, it ain’t even finalized and you’re starring at all kinds of women.”

“God gave me eyes to see. Besides, I have seen you catch a glimpse at one or two.”

“Glance, not stare.” AJ shook his head, the smile still on his face. He took a sip of his drink before he rested his arms on the table.

“I’ll be damned, Alexander James!” AJ’s head quickly whipped around. No one called him that. His eyes popped open and his mouth dropped!

“Kris!”

Chapter 2
AJ finally realized he must have looked like a fool and snapped his mouth shut. Damn, talk about a blast from the past there.

“Yeah, it’s me.” He walked over to her and embraced her, relishing her being back in his arms again. Damn, it had been way too long, too many years. And as he pulled away, he knew D’s eyes were staring. “What are you doing here?”

“Vacation. Well, D and I. And you?”

“The same. Had to get away. Life just got to stressful.”

“Yeah. Know how that goes. Where are my manners? D, let me introduce one of my best friends from way back when, Kris. Kris, this is the Howie D.” Howie held out his hand, surprised to see that sparkle in his best friend’s eye.

“It’s a pleasure, Kris.”

“Likewise.”

“Won’t you stay and join us.”

“Oh, D, I don’t want to intrude.”

“Kris, you won’t be. Please, we have so much to catch up on.” She smiled, hesitating but a moment before she took a seat.

-----
For the next two hours, they trio talked, joked and laughed. AJ really had forgotten how much Kris could make him laugh and he forgotten how much he missed her, missed their friendship. They called their lunch date over, saying they would have to get together later that night and hip up another night club. AJ knew once Kris bid them goodbye that D was gonna drill him, so he wasn’t surprise that as they made their way to the rooms, that the questions started.

“So, Kris.”

“Yes, D, what about her?”

“What happened?” AJ sighed, really questions that himself.

“Kris and I were close when we were younger. Than she left, had some kind of family problems. When she finally came back, the guys were just getting together.” AJ smiled to himself, although, it didn’t go unnoticed. “She was my first kiss, but she was my best friend. It broke my heart that I never really got to see her.” D leaned against the wall, his arms crossing over his chest as he watched AJ.

“You like her.”

“What?” AJ quickly turned and stared at Howie.

“You like her.”

“And what would make you think that?” Howie shrugged, but his cell phone saved him from answering. AJ frowned, not liking that thought at all. It was untrue. Howie was only seeing things.

Alex went into his room, shutting his door softly and making his way over to his bed. He picked up his cell phone, seeing that Theresa didn’t actually call. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts and quickly pressed the 2 than hitting dial. He laid down, closing his eyes as he listened to her ring back tone.

“Well, thought you were out having fun, mister?”

“I was. But I missed you.”

“Aww, baby, I miss you too. But how can you miss me when you have tons of gorgeous women throwing themselves at you?”

“You’re not funny.” She laughed and he even cracked a smile.

“Yes I am, you just don’t want to admit it. So, what did you do this morning?” It was on the tip of his tongue to mention Kris, yet, for some strange reason that he couldn’t figure out, he wouldn’t dare utter one word about her. And it wasn’t like Theresa to get jealous, so he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t mention Kris. And it wasn’t like he was seeing her, he wasn’t, that was his best friend!

“Just had breakfast with D. We talked for hours, than decided to go back to the rooms to rest for we’re going out tonight.”

“Oh, that’s it?” He quickly sat up, thinking he heard something in her voice.

“What do you mean, that’s it? Of course that’s it. Why would I lie?” He frowned. That wasn’t good and that wasn’t like him.

“Baby, no one said you were lying. I just thought you would have done something else. Take in the sights, work on your tan. Just not lounge around and talk.” Oh, that’s what she meant.

“Well, another day. It was just nice to talk.” It was funny, you never had to see a person to know when their attitude had changed, you could feel it, even over a damn phone lie. Yes, his little outburst certainly raised the hair on the back of her neck, of this he was certain.

“Oh, well, than I’m glad you had fun. And baby, be careful tonight, okay?”

“Of course. What are your plans?”

“Not much. Might just sit at home, watch tv, read, do nothing.”

“No hot dates?”

“Why, want me to find one?” No, he certainly didn’t, but maybe if she did go out, he might not feel so guilty.

“No, and you know that.”

“I know baby, I know. But, listen, you rest, call me or text me when you can. And sweetie, really, have fun. Don’t think about me, okay?”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I know. I love you too. Bye.” She closed her cell phone, frowning at the phone in her hand. It wasn’t like him to be so, well, not like that. Alex was actually pretty laid back, never so, well, so…she sighed, not able to put a finger on it, but she knew he was keeping something. Not that he was cheating, she had too much faith, but it did irk her that he did keep something.

-----
“Didn’t think I would ever hear from you.”

“I know, Resa, I’m sorry, I’m a horrible friend.”

“Not even. You just got there and are beyond busy.”

“Yes, I know. But a text never hurt anything.”

“Girl, you’re my best friend. So, no worries. Tell me, any cute hunks where you are?”

“Loads, Resa. But you won’t believe it, I ran into my old best friend.”

“Get out. I want details.”

“Later. So, did he ask you?”

“Oh, he did. Kris, I want you to be my maid of honor, after all you’re my best friend here!”

Chapter 3
“As if you have to ask, Theresa! But, I would be honored!”

“Great.”

“I’m glad he asked. So, when do I get to meet him?”

“I don’t know. Are you finally moving out here? I know your shop is back home, but come on Kris, you need more shops opened.”

“I don’t know, you know I have to talk it over…”

“Yes, yes, I know. So, are you enjoying Paris?”

“Paris? No, I didn’t tell you? Oh gosh, my plans changed. I’m actually in Hawaii.”

“Get out! Oh, I love Hawaii. Actually, I want to go to Hawaii.” Kris laughed, leaning against the headboard, her fingers running over the comforter on the bed.

“It’s beautiful out here! Hey, maybe that should be the honeymoon.”

“Not to toot any horn here, but, he makes money, we can do better than Hawaii. Actually, we were talking about a cruise, one of those like two months or something out in the Mediterranean.”

“You’re planning the honeymoon before the wedding?” Theresa laughed, right along with Kris. “Hey, girl, I hate to cut this short, but I’m pretty tired and wanted to take a nap before I head out tonight.”

“Oh, by all means. Enjoy yourself girl, and have some fun!”

“The same goes for you. Your man is gone, live it up!”

“I’ll try girlie.”

“Bye hon.” Kris hung up her cell phone, tossing it on the other side of the bed. She shifted as she laid down, a smile tugging on her lips as she thought about AJ. Damn, it was years since she had seen him. And yeah, she had kept tabs on him, of course. Besides, it wasn’t all that hard not to hear about the Backstreet Boys. She had to admit too, that he was looking pretty damn good.

-----
AJ leaned against the wall, his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans. For some strange reason, he was nervous. Maybe because he kept something from his girl. Maybe because it was that this was Kris, whom he had a crush on. Maybe, hell, maybe it was lots of things. He sighed, his head lifting up as he heard the ding of the elevator and saw her walk out, chuckling as she wore a rather tight pair of pants and a tank top. Kris was never a girlie girl, back than nor now.

“You look amazing.” Kris smiled as her eyes did the once over on him.

“As do you. But I have to ask here Alex, can’t you say no?” He frowned at that.

“No to what?”

“To getting all the tats here! You’re gonna be a walking billboard pretty damn soon.” He laughed, his arm linking through hers as they walked out of the lobby. “So, where’s D?”

“He’s meeting us there. Says someone had to escort you so nothing happened.”

“Oh, what true gentlemen you both are.”

“Well, I try.” Kris laughed at that.

“So, things been going good for you and the guys, I’m guessing?”

“Yeah, I suppose I can’t complain.”

“Not that it will do you any damn good because I won’t feel sorry for you in the least.”

“And you’re supposed to be my best friend.”

“And I never gave you a pity party back than.” This time, it was AJ’s turn to laugh, for he remembered quite well. He held the door open for her as they made their way into the club, loving the soft scent that clung to her. Oh, that was not a good start. He sighed, following her, his eyes quickly scanning the crowd, spotting Howie at a booth in the back. AJ put his hand on the small of her back, ushering her through the crowded dance floor.

“Would you like something to drink?” he whispered, knowing that shouting wasn’t going to be heard over the bass of the music.

“Just a coke.” He nodded his head, glanced at Howie who only shook his head, than made his way over to the bar. For some strange reason, he really was craving a drink; he actually felt like he might need it.

-----
Two hours later, his hands settled along her waist as they automatically started moving to the slow jam that was currently playing. And there was no doubt in his mind that the glare he was getting was from Howie. But, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Theresa knew he was out having a good time. She did say go out and have fun. And she wasn’t the type to say things simply to say them. So, he was having fun. This was Kris, and sure, he had a crush on her way back in the day, but he loved Theresa, that’s the woman he wanted to marry. No woman was going to make him change his mind.

“You’re quiet.”

“I’m enjoying this.” She pulled back slightly, her eyes holding his.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve missed you Kris. You were one of the few people who I think really ever understood me. We were so close, I miss that too.”

“I’ve missed it as well. I have my friends know, even a couple best friends, but none ever replaced you. None ever could.”

“I feel the same way. Even with the D man over there.” She giggled and he let that sound wash over him, enveloping him. “So, tell me about your best friends here. Are they as wild and crazy as I am?”

“Oh gosh, one is. Well, I would have to say she’s the closest to you. I called her today, found out she’s engaged, so I get to be the maid of honor. It’s so cool, but I still have yet to meet her man.”

“He’s that busy?” She shrugged.

“I’m not sure. She’s never given me a name, just that, well, yeah, that he’s busy. But, he makes her happy and she’s in love with him. I love and adore her and would hate to see anyone break her heart.”

“Sounds like she is a good friend.” The slow song ended and Kris pulled back even more, her eyes once more capturing his.

“She is Alex, but you’re the only I could ever really say was my bestest friend. And you know that means a lot to me. You’ve always meant a lot to me.” She glanced down for a moment before smiling at him. “I would love it if we could be that close again.”

Chapter 4
Kris leaned against her door, her lip being tugged by her teeth. She was wishing it wasn’t from AJ, but she couldn’t explain why she was nervous.

“Thank you Alex, I had a blast tonight.”

“So did I. It’s been a long time since I had.”

“Do you wanna come in, even for a moment?”

“I would love too, but it’s late, and actually, I need to make a phone call. I’ve been slacking on it and the text message I got was not pretty.”

“Let me guess, your mother?” Kris remembered Denise, loved the woman, but AJ was Denise’s only baby.
Damn it, AJ didn’t want to lie, but he just didn’t want to tell Kris about Theresa. Okay, this wasn’t good when he was officially lying.

“Yeah. All grown up but still a mama’s boy.” Kris laughed, nodding her head in understanding.

“Than I’ll catch ya tomorrow. Can’t wait just to sit on the beach.”

“Yeah, a little sun bathing never hurt anyone. Good night Kris.”

“Good night, Alex.” He bent down and placed a peck on her cheek, smiling at her as he made his way to the elevator, his room being a couple floors up of the hotel. She sighed, opening the door to her room and making her way to the bed, her hand reaching out of the snow white leopard that she always slept with. It was the one of the few connections she had with Alex. One she was determined never to let got of, or to lose.

-----
He leaned over the balcony, his eyes taking in the sound of the waves crashing, his eyes scanning the shoreline, his phone and cigarettes sitting right by his arm. He saw the text message, heard the voicemail, and yet still hadn’t called her back, knowing that he probably should. But, he didn’t want to lie. And exactly what was he lying about? Granted, he wasn’t going to mention Kris, okay, tiptoeing around the truth is what that was. He would say he went to the club with D, danced, drank, but that was it. He sighed, opening up the pack and withdrawing a stick, holding it against his lips and quickly lighting it before reaching for his phone. He dialed her number, inhaling, silently praying she’d be asleep, but knowing she was a night owl just like he was.

“You remembered me.” Despite his feelings, he smiled

“I’m sorry baby, I was just enjoying myself at the club, not feeling my phone go off. Just got in a few minutes ago.” Now, that was a lie. He’d been standing outside for the last 15 minutes, debating if he wanted to call or just wait until the morning, knowing she’d understand either way.

“Sweetheart, no need to explain.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, hating the feelings tumbling around in him. “Alex, you okay baby?”

“Yeah, why do you ask darlin’?”

“I…I don’t know. Just, a strange vibe I guess. Like you’re not happy, or something is going on and you’re not telling me. You know I’m here baby. Really, you can tell me anything.”

“I know, I’m just…I’m tired. I was debating on calling you because I thought I was going to crash, and…”

“Alex, go to bed. Call me in the morning.”

“But…”

“No, you’re tired, and I understand that. Really, take Ike, snuggle close and go to sleep.” Alex had to smile.

“Good night baby.”

“Night sweetheart.”

“I love you, Theresa.”

“I love you too.” With that, she snapped her cell closed, frowning, simply because he never called her Theresa. She sighed, leaning her head back on the couch. Something was troubling him, she knew this, yet had no idea what it was, or what it could be.

-----
He leaned his head forward, the cigarette burning away in his hand. He shook his head, disposing of the stick before heading back inside and walking over to the bedroom, his eyes landing on the snow white leopard. He walked over to it, reaching out; his fingers brushing threw the fur. Ike was his best friend after he lost Kris; it was a gift he won. Actually, it was a set; he had one and so did she. And Ike went everyone with him; it’s the one stuffed animal he ever fell asleep with.
He sighed, setting it down by his pillows, turning to plug his phone in the charger. Yes, he was tired, but sleep tonight was not going to claim him, and this he knew. His thoughts were flying a mile a minute. And why were they? He wasn’t really doing anything wrong? He hadn’t touched Kris, granted he flirted, but hell, he flirted with everyone. And yeah, maybe he had some thoughts, but he was a guy, what guy didn’t think? Even if they were engaged. He hadn’t acted on those thoughts, that was the plus side. Although, he was now lying to his fiancé about what happened, yet a downfall. Could he sit there and say, though, that he wanted Kris? He took a deep breath, his head dropping; his chin touching his chest, for deep within, that answer was yes.

Chapter 5
She closed the magazine as she glanced up at the shadow that fell over her, ready to scream if needs be, but instead smiled.

“Running late this morning?”

“Yeah. I just didn’t feel like rolling out of bed.”

“There a reason why?”

“It just felt good there.” Kris laughed, along with Alex as he took the chair and set it up beside her. “Just felt good laying there. Sorry though, I didn’t think it was that late.”

“No worries, Alex. I only came out here about 15 minutes ago myself. I over slept as well.”

“So, we’re both safe. Good.”

“Where’s D?”

“Ha! Getting his ass out of bed is like moving a damn mountain. Impossible! I called him, told him to come along and he hung up on me! See if I invite him anywhere again!” Kris laughed, and Alex had to admit, that sound was rather soothing as it washed over him. For all her tomboyish ways, Kris was very girlish, even though she never knew it. And that simple charm added to her allure all the more. And just what the hell was he thinking? Those thoughts lead all good boys astray and he knew he didn’t want to be going down that road. “Tell me more about Kris and what she’s been up to?”

“You know, nothing much. Just busy with my shop.”

“Shop?”

“Yeah. I opened a mechanic shop with my brother. We’ve been swamped.”

“Oh, yes, I remember you had a thing for cars, even at a tender age.”

“What can I say?” She shrugged. “Something about them is soothing. Maybe because it’s a good way to vent frustration too.”

“Well, when my car gives me shit, I know where to take it to.” She laughed, and once more, he couldn’t help but think about how it made him feel. And mentally, that really made him cringe.

-----
He heard his cell phone beep, pulled it out to check the caller ID than shoved it back in his pocket, trying to play it off.

“Someone call?”

“No, just checking the time. I didn’t wear my watch today. It’s getting late; wanna grab a bite at the café?”

“That sounds great. I think I’m dark enough for now. Anymore and I’ll be burning.” She smiled, linking her arm through his as they mad their way over to the café. “If you don’t mind, just a club sandwich is fine, and a water?”

“Yeah, no problem.” She smiled her thanks as she walked towards the restroom, quickly replying back to the text message she received earlier.

-----
She crossed her arms, tossing her cell phone back on the couch. Her fiancé wasn’t answering her phone calls, her best friend was ignoring her and her other friend, well, knowing Howie, he was still out cold. Theresa sat down, her arms closing around her stomach, the uneasiness not fading at all. Something was happening, she knew this, she could sense it and she knew no way of stopping it, or even where it was coming from. She heard the ring tone, quickly flipping it open.

“Finally, the zombie awakens here.”

“Ha ha ha, ain’t you funny? What can I do for you?”

“Howie, ya need to get laid if you’re gonna be an ass.”

“Not even funny Resa. I missed your call, what’s up?”

“I can’t get a hold of Alex. Either he’s lost his cell phone again or he’s ignoring me.”

“Maybe he left it in his room?”

“Howie, Alex is connected to that cell phone. It’s his lifeline. That’s why it shocks the hell out of me when he says he loses it. I just wanted to know if he was with you.”

“Nope. Not today. He went out to tan and I wasn’t getting my ass out of bed, so I stayed here.”

“Isn’t it strange he’s alone?” Howie pinched the bridge of his nose. He hated lying, truly hated it and yet, AJ was his best friend and he couldn’t just blurt out the truth. Not like there was really anything going on. And everything that Howie saw last night at the club could simply be his own imagination. But, honestly, could one imagine a sparkle of the eye, a softness of a touch, tenderness in a smile? For he knew he saw those things last night between Kris and AJ. And those weren’t good signs, unless you were in love.

Chapter 6
Howie watched them and their interaction, praying for him and his thoughts to be wrong. Not that he could honestly believe that Alex could fall in love in mere moments, but knowing that man, it was possible to start feeling something. And it’s not like Kris was just any one person. He had feelings a long time ago. And what’s that saying, that you never really stop loving your first love? Howie sighed, hating to break up this little party but he was starting to get worried. He walked up to the table, smiling at the two.

“And he finally awakens.” Howie smiled at Kris as he took the seat.

“Sorry for missing you all this morning.”

“Kris and I were just catching up. So, believe me D, you weren’t missed.” Both Alex and Kris were laughing, letting Howie know that Alex had obviously told Kris some private things.

“Gee, thanks. So, what are you two doing for the rest of the day?”

“Actually, I thought about heading back to the ocean to go for a swim. My head is kinda starting to hurt and the coolness might help.” Kris jumped up, laughing as she headed back to the spot that her and Alex were at earlier. But before Alex could join her, D placed a hand on his arm.

“You know I hardly butt into your life, what you do is what you do. But, have you talked to Resa today?” Alex slipped his shades back on before rolling his eyes. “Alex, I know what you just did man.”

“Look, Resa told me to have fun, that’s what I’m doing. Am I always supposed to talk to her? She knew what I was doing!” Howie sat back, his arms crossing over his chest.

“No, your not, but being that this is your fiancé here, one would think you’d want to talk to her. But, I’m guessing I’m wrong. Just make sure your infatuation with a new woman does not destroy your relationship you have with a woman you claim to love and deem worthy enough of marriage.” With that, D stood up, leaving Alex alone with his thoughts. Not that that was ever a healthy thing to do. Alex shrugged, making his way down to the beach. Theresa knew him, she would understand, and that he was certain of.

-----
He watched her as she dived into the water, wanting to join her yet wanting to sit back and watch too. He could openly admit that Kris was gorgeous, even D thought so. He tilted his head to the side, his mind bringing up his fiancé. Was D right? Was he becoming infatuated with Kris? Hell, was that possible after 24 hours? He didn’t think he was. Kris was his best friend; he had wanted that friendship back. It’s not like he confided everything in her yet. That was obvious, since he still hadn’t mentioned his woman back home. But was that because he couldn’t confide in her or more like he didn’t want to confide that tidbit yet? He sighed, watched as she stood up, the water dripping down her body and he could feel the tightening within himself. He groaned, knowing that was not a good sign. He quickly stood up, ran into the ocean and dived in right next to her, splashing her as he came up.

“ALEX!” She squealed, laughing all the more, splashing him back. He laughed, really and truly laughed like he hadn’t in a while and that felt amazing. What was it about Kris that really made him bring just plain ol’ Alex out and be content with that? Like he could give up AJ tomorrow, give up all the fame and everything, be just Alex, and she would love him either way. Than again, she knew the real Alex, that’s who he was prior to the fame and spotlight. Granted, he felt that at ease with Resa, but most of the time, he still kept AJ around. And he knew she could sense it, but he just couldn’t change that. But, again, the huge difference was that Kris honestly knew Alex and not AJ. He really couldn’t say anyone knew that. He quickly swam over to her, laughing all the more as he picked her up and threw her in, enjoying that squeal again.

“ALEXANDER JAMES, you’re a dead man!” she hissed as she surface, pushing that dirty blonde mess out of her face. He grinned at her before swimming to safety.

-----
“Are you ever gonna mention your fiancé?” Howie asked as he watched Alex get ready. Howie glanced down at the stuffed animal he was currently holding, frowning slightly before tossing it by the pillows.

“Man, be gentle with Izzy, he’s old!” AJ scolded Howie as he watched in the mirror before finishing up. “And no, to be honest, I’m not telling Kris about Theresa.” AJ wanted to miss the glare that D sent his way, but they both knew he saw it loud and clear.

“Wanna explain the reasoning behind that one McLean?” AJ visibly winced, making a face in the mirror at D.

“No, nor am I going to. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“Than are you going to tell Resa about Kris?”

“Again, not that I need to explain to you, but no, I’m not telling either woman about the other.” Howie quickly shot off the bed and walked over to the bathroom, leaning against the door frame, his brown eyes almost black with the anger burning there.

“J, you have one hell of a good woman there, willing to marry you for you, not for AJ! And you claim to love her, yet you can’t make mention of a past girlfriend and flame? Either you don’t love Resa like you should or you plan on cheating. Which is it?”

“Shit D, if you’re singing her damn praises so much, why the hell don’t you date her?” Howie straightened up and made his way to the door, stopping before walking out and turning to look at AJ over his shoulder.

“If that’s how you wanna be, maybe I will than!”

Chapter 7
She watched, with her eyebrow raised as he stabbed another piece of chicken, slowly taking it to his mouth, only to eat a piece of it. He sighed, letting his fork hit the plate. She cleared her throat, reaching for her water and taking a sip.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on with you Alex?” His brown eyes shot to hers over the rim of his shades and this time it was her turn to sigh. How she hated them things. She totally loved looking into those eyes, why did he feel the need to cover them up? Oh, yes, it bared his soul, and heaven forbid that couldn’t happen.

“What makes you think anything is wrong Kris?”

“You’ve said a grand total of twenty words tonight. You’re lost in thought. And your poor chicken has been stabbed more times than I can count. Talk to me, what’s going on?” Alex closed his eyes, grateful for the protection his glasses were giving him, even though he knew it was foolish.

“D and I sorta got into a heated argument before I left.”

“Oh, wanna tell me about it?” He bite the inside of his cheek, hating himself for it.

“It was something stupid. But, fighting always bothers me.”

“Wanna go and make up with him?” In spite of his feelings, he had to laugh. Leave it to Kris to help him feel better. He shook his head, glancing up at her again.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t want tonight to be bad, but it is, because of me.”

“No way. Howie is your best friend; I would be the same way if I got into it with my best friend too.”

“Do I get name here?”

“Of her, no.” He laughed again, shaking his head.

“How is that fair?”

“It’s not Alex, but I just don’t care. I don’t have to share everything with you, you know? I am allowed to keep some things to myself here.”

“I guess I can give you that.” She smiled and rolled her eyes before taking a bite of her own meal.

“How much longer are you going to be here?”

“I think we have like four or five days left. When D says go, I’m gone. Besides, when I’m in the company of a beautiful woman, I very much try not to think of the time I have left.”

“Alex,” she started, tilting her head to the side to regard him, “has anyone ever told you just how much of a flirt you really are?” ‘Yes,’ his mind screamed. His fiancé told him that all the time actually.

“I hear it every now and then. But I love to make women blush, it’s a joy I get.” He watched as the rosy color washed over her cheeks. “Much like that in fact.”

-----
They walked alone in silence, the waves crashing along the shore and around their ankles before residing back. She held onto his hand, very content with just being with him, no words, no nothing. And deep within, she could feel something was bothering him, something about the fight with D, yet he wasn’t spilling, and she knew he wouldn’t give anymore details. Which was something she had always loved about him, when the time came for it, he could be very private; a good and a bad thing in one.

“What happened with Howie’s marriage?” He seemed startled before he turned to look at her.

“What?”

“D and Leigh, what happened? I thought he was so in love with her?”

“Oh…uh, he was. Kinda. I think part of it was he was in love with the idea of marriage and having a family. It’s what he’s always wanted. Was jealous of Bri and Kevin for having theirs, in fact. So, I think he sorta settled for Leigh. He loved her, but was he in love with her like he should have been, no. And after a while, he realized that. He wasn’t content as one should be when married, even after a couple of years. Than he found the pills that was were keeping her from getting pregnant, and he blew. He was so pissed, for that proved she never really wanted the family. Either just the money, the fame, or the name, he wasn’t certain. And honestly, he didn’t care. He split so quickly, the lawyers had the papers drawn up, signed and filed within a matter of three weeks, the fastest anyone has ever done anything.” Alex shrugged, his gaze turning out over the ocean. “That’s why marriage is such a huge step. It’s supposed to mean forever, and to some, it doesn’t.”

“Very true, you can’t enter something like lightly.”

“Did you tell your best friend that?”

“Yes I did. She’s head over heels in love with him, and he worships her. Or, so she says. I’ll figure it out when I meet him.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t met him yet. Seeing how she’s your best friend and all.”

“We don’t live in the same state. But we totally talk all the time. Email, twitter, text, you name it, we are in constant contact.”

“That makes loads of sense.” Alex chuckled, enjoying the sound of Kris’s laughter. He turned his attention back to the waves, lost really within his own thoughts.

“Alex?” He turned his eyes from the ocean to glance over at her, taking in her soft features, her delicate lips that were begging for a kiss.

“What?” Mentally, he had to shake himself and those ideas. He really couldn’t be going down the road.

“How come you never got married?” That really brought him up short. Now would be the perfect time to say something, anything about his fiancé, but no…nothing like that came out.

“I guess I just never found the right girl to marry. I’ve asked, but something has always happened.” Okay, not a complete lie. He wasn’t married, only engaged, big difference there.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense, being who you are and everything.” He paused, his hand tugging on hers to stop. “What?”

“It’s not easy to find someone who loves you for you. It never is. But it seems so much worse when you have fame, money, hell even looks. I don’t regret my past or being who I am.” He stepped closer to her, the waves crashing along the shore side being the romantic music he needed; the brilliant full moon casting the soft sensual light that he was looking for. All of it was perfect, just as she was. His hand cupped her cheek, her eyes stared into his for a brief moment before her lashes fluttered and her eyes closed. He smiled to himself as his head descended and he lips brushed hers once, twice, three times before fully capturing her lips.

Chapter 8
After a few breathless moments, Alex pulled away; knowing the shock he saw in her eyes had to be mirrored in his own, but for his, that was a whole other reason. She smiled at him and he tried to smile back, but he knew it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I better, um, get to bed. It’s pretty late.”

“Oh, right, yeah, of course.” She leaned up and gently pressed her lips to his cheek.

“Good night, Alex.”

“Good night, Kris.” She waved as she walked back to her room. He sighed as he watched her retreating back then went on walking alone, losing himself in his thoughts. He couldn’t deny that the kiss was amazing and it sparked feelings in him. Of course, so did Theresa’s. Maybe all this was just stemming from the fact that he really did miss his girl. ‘Than why the hell haven’t you returned her phone call?’ his mind screamed. Damn good point. He pulled out his cell, looked at it for a moment, really debating if he wanted to call. “What the hell McLean. She’s gonna be your wife, call her!” He sat down quickly, hitting his speed dial and waited for her to answer.

“So, he’s alive.” He grinned into the phone.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Told you I understood. I talked to D earlier.” He swallowed, for he was well aware D could, and would, mention something if he so chose to.

“Yeah, what about?”

“You. Well, it was earlier and I was asking him why you were alone.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve been on my own somewhat. Sometimes, I just see way too much of that man.”

“I understand baby. Figured he would tell me a little more since you weren’t answering your phone.”

“I had left it in the room. And as I came to walk out on the beach, I thought about my baby and wanted to call her.”

“Well, that’s so sweet honey!” ‘Yeah, it was, and a total lie,’ his mind screamed once more. “Why aren’t you out partying? It’s still early isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. Just…not tonight. The water looked so inviting, as did the beach.”

“Hopeless romantic. If they truly only knew.” He watched the dancing waves, enjoying the sound of her voice, actually longing to be in her arms. “You grew quite sweetheart.”

“Just thinking of how much I miss you. I would love to fly home.” Her soft chuckle washed over him and he smiled.

“I know baby. But you need it. When you come back, it’s going to be hectic and you know it. Tours, albums, and somewhere in there might be a wedding with a long ass honeymoon.”

“You are coming on the tour right?”

“Yeah. I checked it over with my boss; he said it was fine, so I’m set.”

“I don’t know why you work.”

“Because I’m not THE MRS. MCLEAN yet. When I am, I might think about it. Besides, my job is pretty easy, and I love it. I’m not one of those woman that can stay at home, cleaning the house all day. I have a hard enough time cleaning it half a day on the weekends! Even more so because the house is so big.”

“Woman, you know you love it! Hell, weren’t you the one to pick it out?”

“When we were friends. I didn’t think, well, I hadn’t actually thought I would be living in it.” He laughed lightly, laying back on the sand, watching the moon and the stars.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m laying on the bed, why baby?”

“Go out on the balcony and lay on the lounge there, please?” He heard the rustling of the bed, than the sliding glass door to the bedroom and finally heard the movement of the chair.

“Okay, why?”

“Because I want you to look up at the moon and watch it, along with the stars.”

“Let me guess, that’s what you’re doing, huh?”

“Yup. And I want to pretend, at least for a moment, that my soon to be wife is right next to me, enjoying this as much as I am.” He took in the night sky, listening to her talk once more, half of him longing for her, yet half of him longing for another female! And he couldn’t deny it, nor could he fight it. He loved Resa, he knew this, so why the hell was another female starting to come into the picture?

-----
AJ laid down on his bed, his eyes roaming over the ceiling, but his mind not comprehending much. He sighed, more out of frustration than anything else. He screwed up when he kissed Kris, he knew that. But, he couldn’t stop his feelings, his thoughts, no matter how hard he tried. And maybe, just maybe, part of it was infatuation with Kris. At one point, he did love hee, he just hadn’t mentioned that bit to anyone before. Okay, to the people who should really know and didn’t. He closed his eyes, running one hand over his face, knowing his thoughts weren’t going anyway anytime soon. And, well, what if he avoided Kris? Not totally, he still did want her friendship, but at least until either one of them left and he could back in Resa’s arms. Right, he knew all too well that wasn’t going to happen anymore than him telling her that he was engaged.

He sighed. Howie! Another problem. He couldn’t make his best friend stay silent. And it’s even more possible that Howie would make good on his threat, and actually, that tore Alex up inside. He ran his hands over his face as he got out of the bed, sitting on the edge. He heard his phone beep at him and he moved to get it, sighing as he saw it was D and hit the ignore button. He knew eventually he would talk to Howie, just right now, it was the last thing he wanted. Even more knowing that he had no idea what to tell him. Not like he needed to. Howie, like his other brothers, knew him pretty damn well. He sighed once more.

-----
“Are you gonna tell me what’s been keeping you these days?” Theresa asked, smiling at Kris through the phone.

“I don’t know what you mean. You keep tons of things from me!”

“Like what?”

“How about your fiancé here?” Theresa giggled at that.

“What do you want me to say, Kris? Okay, I won’t give you a name. How about some hints?”

“Okay, I can give you that.”

“Fine. He’s famous for one.” Theresa knew she just shocked the hell out of her best friend.

“Who the hell is famous? Better yet, how did you land someone famous?”

“The landing I’ll tell you later. But, he’s a singer, he’s damn sexy. Even sings with a couple other guys. Ever heard of the Backstreet Boys?”

“Like duh, who hasn’t?”

“Good, cause he’s one of them!” Kris almost dropped her phone, laughing as she managed to keep it upright.

Chapter 9

“And it’s the sexy one?”

“Yes Kris!”

“But which one?” I laughed, about ready to tell her when my phone started to beep.

“Oh, I got my other line going. I’ll call you later girlie. And have fun.”

“You too. And I know who it is! He’s the only sexy one. Kinda tall, short hair, big blue eyes. Later.” With that, Kris hung up her phone, leaving Theresa to stare at hers, but not able to correct that quite yet, for on the other line was Denise.

-----
Howie shook his head as his phone died and left the room, making sure he had his key card before walking down the hallway and pounding on the door, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms. He might hit the ignore button on his phone, but he was not about to slam the door in D’s face. He almost smirked as Alex opened the door and sighed, the look of frustration building on his face.

“Come in Howard.” D slammed the door behind him and just about shoved Alex on the couch.

“I am not leaving till you talk to me, damn it! There’s more going on and you are not sharing. How can you call me your friend man, when you can’t confide in me?”

“You wouldn’t understand!”

“Bull shit man! You know that’s not right. So don’t pull that lame ass shit on me!” Alex leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees and his head being held in his hands, knowing he needed to voice his thoughts, just not really knowing if D was the man to tell.

“Every love two women?” D closed his eyes, already hating where this was going.

“Honestly, yes. Well, one wasn’t quite love, more like thinking I was in love. Why?”

“I love Theresa, there’s no doubt in my mind.”

“But?” Howie asked, knowing even more he wasn’t liking where this was going.

“I, uh, kissed Kris. And I tell you, there was something in that kiss.”

“ALEX! You’re engaged man. You keep saying Resa is the one you want. Are you lying to yourself as well as to all of us?”

“No! I’m not. I want Resa. I just…want Kris too.” Alex leaned his head back on the couch, groaning all the more. How the hell could he utter that? It was the truth, he hated to admit it. And now, he was more confused than ever. In two days, Kris had worked her way under his skin once more, like she never left. And, okay fine, she actually hadn’t. You don’t have to talk to be best friends, or to know the other person.

“Are you going to cheat on Resa?” Every fiber, every pore, every cell in Alex’s body screamed at him to say no, but as the moments ticked by and still no answer came, Howie started to slowly shake his head. “Listen carefully to me, Alexander. If you are willing to cheat on your soon to be wife before the marriage even takes place, than that’s a sign. If you have mixed emotions for two females, that’s a sign. Lose one or the other.”

“I can’t!”

“Why? Scared someone will pick them up?”

“Yes! I know that’s hypercritical if you will. I want them both happy…”

“But you want to be the one to make them happy. I see. Well, man, you’re really on your own. I can’t help you make this choice.” Howie walked to the door, opening it and turning back to Alex. “I thought I loved my ex wife. Thought she as the only one I could ever want. The truth of the matter is I wanted someone way before just never voiced it. Look at the mess of my love life.”

“I wouldn’t get a divorce.”

“No, just break your marriage vows time and time again. That’s not any better Alex.” With that, D left, slamming the door again, making his way back to his room, his head pounding, very much wanting to make a phone call.

-----
“Well, hello stranger. I feel like one of the luckiest women alive, getting to talk to you so much here!” He chuckled as he played with the charger’s cord. “So, to what do I owe this pleasure Mr. Dorough?”

“Just wanted to call and see how one of my best friends was?”

“I’m great. Actually, just got done having a lunch date with Denise and going over the wedding details. I can’t believe how quickly time is flying by. Howie,” she paused, knowing him too well and sensing his withdrawal, “what’s wrong?”

“You trust Alex right?”

“Yeah.”

“With everything?” She paused again, really wondering where this was coming from now.

“I’m probably a little more concerned with his drinking habits than anything else. But, I have faith that he wouldn’t hurt me or lie to me. Howie, why?” It was on the tip of his tongue to warn her not to set her heart to high. To be weary and careful, to tell her that Alex could and would cheat. But it wasn’t his place, as much as he hated to say that. He knew both her and Alex to well.

“I just, I’m worried is all. Him so far away from you, having no one to report to and all.”

“He never has reported to me. I help him, like he helps me, but that’s about it. I don’t control his life, I’m not his keeper. That’s not a true, honest, loving relationship.” Howie clenched his teeth, really starting to hate Alex. No way did that two timing ass deserve someone as sweet and pure and caring as Theresa!

-----
He flipped open his phone, starting the text message and closing it before he could send it. He was getting frustrated. He tired calling the house phone and it was busy. Tried calling her cell and she still wasn’t picking that up. So it was either her ignoring him, or his almost wifey was just busy. He wanted to believe she was busy.

He had a little faith that Howie wouldn’t break Theresa’s heart. And yet, he didn’t want to think of the why behind that reasoning. It was almost a little to evident in the way he spoke, in the way Leigh hated Theresa, no matter how hard Theresa tired to be nice.

And that was why he came to the conclusion that the only thing he could do, was try and avoid Kris. Maybe if he didn’t see her, didn’t spend time with her, these…feelings couldn’t develop anymore. They had nothing to grow off of. At least, that was his serve hope because the thought of losing Theresa was not pleasing. Actually, losing either one of them was not pleasing. And there, stood the damn dilemma.

Chapter 10

He took a deep breath, smiling as the salty air filled his longs, thinking that taking a boat tour around the islands with D was probably the best idea. There was no Kris, and his cell wouldn’t get service on this tour, so he couldn’t call her. At the same time, he couldn’t call his girlfriend either.

“No bumming today, AJ.”

“I’m not. I’m taking a nice deep breath and looking at the water! It’s gorgeous.”

“Yes it is. Refreshing too. Wasn’t a cruise what your woman wanted for the honeymoon?”

“Yes. And I’m thinking she might be right.” Alex looked out over the water, trying to be happy, trying to keep his mind focused, and failing miserably. He glanced over at Howie, his eyebrow raised as Howie took a couple of pictures with his phone.

“What man?” Howie asked, feeling AJ’s eyes on him.

“Nothing. Just wondering why you’re taking pictures. You’ve seen this view a couple time’s right?” Howie paused and passed Alex his phone.

“Thought I’d spoil the fans and put it on Twitter. No big deal.”

“Other than they will know where we are.” Howie crossed his arms and smirked.

“Uh, they always know where we are before we do. Besides, don’t you think your girl is making it known?”

“Kris wouldn’t tell a soul.” Howie’s eyebrows shot up at that and AJ blanched. “That’s not what I meant. I mean…”

“Save it man, you’re ass is not able to recover from that.” Howie took his phone back and sent the pictures to his twitter, waiting for a few moments, than smiling as he got a text back. “Looks like your woman…I mean soon to be wife wants to say hi,” Howie said, shoving his phone into AJ’s chest. AJ held onto the phone, groaning.

“SHIT!” He leaned on the edge of the railing, looking down at the turquoise water, wanting to kick his ass. That was more proof he needed to stay the hell away from Kris. If something that simple could come out, who’s to say what more could come out? And around whom! Right now, Resa did not need to know about Kris, nor did Kris need to know about Resa.

Ah, shit, why the hell was he playing this game? Wait, no, not game. He hadn’t cheated yet! Although he had thought about it, but outside of that kiss, there was no direct intimate contact. So he was safe. If it crossed that line…he hung his head, not trying to deny it. It wasn’t a matter of if; it was a matter of when. And yes, that made him sound like an ass. He looked at D’s phone, seeing the text, letting out a breath and texting her back.

-----
He stepped off the boat, turning his phone back on, sighing as he saw three messages from Kris and asking to go out tonight. No! A big no! But, he knew once he started talking to her, there wasn’t anyway that he was going to stop. And ignoring her, after that, just wasn’t an option. So, he shoved the phone back in his pocket, not bothering to reply.

“Man, we’re still hitting up that club tonight, right?” Alex glance at D and nodded. They had talked it over and the best idea was really for them to leave a day early. So, tonight they were going to party.

“Yeah, we are. I’m gonna go on up to the room and rest dude. I’ll see you in a bit.” He nodded to D and made his way up to the hotel room, throwing his phone on the night stand, crashing onto the bed.

-----
“Resa, I want to dazzle him.” Kris leaned against the headboard, biting her lip, her heart pounding at the mere thought of thinking of Alex. On the other end of the phone, the other woman smiled and laughed.

“Than dazzle him.”

“But I have no idea how.”

“Kristal, you’re very beautiful, play it up. I know you have some type of sexy outfit that you brought. Tight pants, short skirt, skimpy top. Show them assets! You’re very good at that. At least, you were when we went to the club a couple times.”

“Yes, that was me. And do you have a point?”

“Be that woman. Style your hair, add some make up, dab some sexy perfume. Land the man of your dreams honey! You’re amazing, and I’m sure he’s already eating out of the palm of your hand! Flirt, catch his fancy. Come on, weren’t you the one who stole my boyfriend six years ago?”

“That was not me.”

“Bull shit girl. You were sexy, you’re still sexy. And any man who denies you is a fool!” Kris sighed, yet knowing her friend was right. She had it in her, it had been dead for so long though.

“You have faith?”

“Don’t I always? I’ll be looking forward to the invitation hon!”

“Okay, okay, I’m getting off the phone, than getting ready. I know the club he’s hitting up tonight. Theresa?”

“Yes, Miss Kris?”

“I really am sorry about Bobby. I know you loved him.” Theresa sighed.

“You know what Kris, things happen for a reason. You didn’t know he was my man, so it’s not like I can blame you right? Besides, I have my fiancé now and I love him. He’s the only man I would and could want.” Kris listened to her friend, hearing a hint of something in her voice, but not being able to place it. And Kris knew that if she started asking questions, Theresa would just about ignore her.

“Good, I’m glad than. Listen, I’m letting you go. Have a restful night. Oh, and I love the picture of that dress. It’s a must! I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” With that, Kris hung up her phone, thinking about her attire, than jumping off the bed and running to the closet.

-----
AJ leaned against the bar, taking a sip of his coke, scanning over the crowd. He was proud of himself. Granted, he picked up his phone countless of times to try and call Kris, but each and every time, he just looked at the wallpaper of him and his soon to be wife and set the phone back down. He hadn’t talked to her in a good few hours, and he was happy. Well, no, not exactly. He let out a breath, watching Howie come up to his side.

“I saw the picture of the wedding dress that Theresa wants.” Howie’s eyes watched him closely, seeing any tale tell sign.

“Yeah, mom said they went looking yesterday. Found a couple, but none that Resa was extra excited about it.”

“And you? Do you know what you want?” Alex shrugged, not really looking for anything. In a lot of things, he was leaving it all up to Resa. That may have not been that smart, but dealing with weddings just wasn’t his thing.

“I have a couple ideas, nothing big.” He set his glass down, turning his back on the swaying crowd, than pausing as he felt the tingle race down his back. He glanced over his shoulder, spotting her in her tight black jeans, her gold metallic top that was more than low cut and both her hair and make up done to a T. To say she was stunning was an understatement. To say he wasn’t going to be a jackass and betray his woman would be the biggest lie. That “when he did” just came up to bite him in the ass!

Chapter 11
Her eyes meet his and she could feel the heat racing over her. This was the only man she had ever wanted, could ever want. She bite her lip, slowly making her way to him, caring about no ones eyes but his.

“Hey Mr. McLean. No ladies hanging on your arm tonight?” His eyes raked over her and damn it if he wasn’t throbbing.

“Nope, not tonight. Although, to be honest, I’m hoping you’re the only one that stays.” He looked up and over her shoulder, seeing Howie there with his eyebrow raised. Alex smirked, shrugged, than took her arm and lead her on the dance floor, pulling her into his arms and pressing her up against his body. He needed her to know exactly what she was doing to him.

----
Howie watched the couple for a moment, his anger rising at his so called friend. He shook his head, feeling his phone vibrate inside his jeans and pulled it out, groaning at the caller id. Theresa was the last person he wanted to talk to, for he knew he’d be spilling everything. He shoved it back in his pocket, did his shot of Tequila and turned, running into another girl.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Not the first time I lost a drink.” She smiled and her green eyes sparkled. “I’m Julie.”

“I’m Howie. Here, let me buy you another.”

“I’d like that, thanks.” Howie did the once over on her.

“From around here?”

“Uh, yeah, how could you tell?”

“You’re tan. Most people who spend all the time on the beach are pretty tan.”

“So does that mean you spend all the time on the beach?” She gave him her half smile, and he knew he just lost all thought of AJ and Kris for tonight. He returned her smile as he turned back to the bar, singling for the bartender.

-----
AJ watched the whole scene, smiling to himself. He tried to ignore the stares he was getting from D, but he couldn’t stop the shivers that were racing down his spine. Not that he wouldn’t have his one night with Kris, but the less AJ thought of D and Resa, the better he was to enjoy it.

He watched D strike up a conversation, knowing he was fully occupied. At least he knew Howie hadn’t talked to Resa. He was positive that’s who called and his heart almost stopped. But, even all of that wasn’t enough to stop him. He smiled as Kris walked out, wrapping her arm around his waist.

“Wanna dance?”

“Nah, Kris, let’s get out of here.” Her eyes held a gleam as she took his hand and lead him outside.

-----
Ten minutes later, he was standing beside her bed, his heart pounding as he just stared at those gorgeous blue eyes. He swallowed hard, his hands running over her arms, her shoulders, softly cupping her cheeks as his head descended and his lips brushed her, once, twice, three times before fully capturing, giving her, and him, the chance to get away. Her arms wrapped around his waist, her fingers barely brushing along his spine. He shivered, letting out a low groan, his tongue darting out and running over her lower lip. His hands released her cheeks and settled on her hips, drawing her closer to his body. Her hands slipped up, her nails running over his neck. Damn, did she know him! His kisses became more urgent, more seeking, more demanding, and not once did she back down, her own kisses returning his desire.

His hands moved along her back, inching up the gold top, letting his fingers move along her silky skin before breaking the kiss to remove her top, flinging it aside. He stepped back, his heart pounding, his desire flowing and his eyes darkening, taking in every last inch. He groaned again, falling to his knees before, pressing the tiniest and softest of kisses over her, her fingers moving and clutching onto his hair. His fingers worked the latch on her pants and pushed them down over her hips and than down her thighs, finally making it past her calves and feet, kissing back up.

He stood back up, her arms wrapping around his neck as her eyes held his, his arms quickly sliding around her and lifting her up, laying her gently upon the bed. She smiled, catching his heart strings and tugging even more. Yes, he was bidding her a silent goodbye in the morning, but that was still hours away. He was going to make sure he thoroughly enjoyed ever last hour, minute, second, he could with her. His hands brushed over her body, his head descending once more as he crushed his lips to hers.

Her hands urgently worked down his pants, her nails drifting over his thighs but before she could touch him and make him explode, he grabbed her wrist, wanting to make their first time slow. They had all night for quick, or hard, but this, this he wanted to be sweet, gentle, and complete and total love making. He pulled back, staring once more into her eyes as he his hands captured hers, interlacing their fingers and lifting them above her head, his lips just as gentle as his body as he finally moved within in her.

-----
He sat on the edge of the bed, his hands, his body, his heart all itching to hold, touch, caress, and kiss her body once more. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He glanced at the window, seeing the start of the sun rise peek through the shades. He held back his groan as he lifted the blanket up around her shoulders, his fingers whooshing across her skin. He stared at her sweet face before setting the note on his pillow and walking out the door. Slowly, he made his way up to his room, grateful that he had the insight to pack everything so it was a quick grab and go. A few minutes later he was waiting on Howie, smirking as he came down wearing his shades.

“Didn’t realize the sun was that bright, Howie.”

“Shut up. It was a late night, thank you.”

“I can tell. Woman left her mark too. Better hope you got cover girl in your bag,” Alex joked as he pulled back Howie’s top.

“Shut up and get in McLean. I want to get home.” AJ’s heart stopped at that, glancing up at her window before getting into the car and heading to the airport.

She woke up, a huge smile on her face, turning to greet the man yet frowning as she saw nothing.

“Alex?” She had hoped that he would be here, that that total amazing night was not just a one night stand. She held the sheet to her chest, scanning the room, her eyes finally landing on the note. Her heart sunk as she opened it, reading the flowing script. ‘My precious Kris, I hate to leave, but I have an earlier flight than I imagined. Please don’t take this the wrong way. You’re my best friend and I love you, probably more than I should. Last night was one of the best...no...the best night of my life; don’t think negative thoughts of it. I’ll call you when I land in California. Hopefully you aren’t mad, for I would love for you to visit me. We have a few more weeks of laziness before we start working again. Love you, Alex.’. She grinned even more as she grabbed her cell phone and punching three on her speed dial, hoping her best friend would answer quickly.

-----
She sat at the airport, checking her watch for the tenth time, not understanding why her fiancé was getting an earlier flight, but not really caring. She had missed him way to much. She stood up and started to pace, nearly jumping out of her skin when her phone vibrated in her pocket.

“Hello?”

“Hey you! Miss me?”

“Ugh, Kris, what happened to calling me back?”

“I got busy.” Theresa stopped her pacing as she smirked.

“You did. Who did you get busy with?”

“That guy I was telling you about it. He’s name is Alex and he’s so cute. I did tell you his name right?”

“Yeah…wait, maybe you didn’t. So, what’s going on?”

“He had to leave. But he invited me out to his place, said he had down time for a bit. Girl, I’m coming to California!”

“Sweet, as of when?”

“When I call him and make plans.”

“Screw that. You’re coming out with me. I told you, they go on tour and you are so coming with me. I can not be the only female. They will drive me insane.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll be there. I suppose I should go get dressed.”

“Yeah, my man’s plane is coming in. So, just call me when you get here and I’ll pick you up.

“Deal.”

“Good. Bye girl.”

“Bye.” With that, Theresa turned around, seeing AJ step into the waiting area and flew into his arms. He caught her, his arms wrapping around her waist.

“I missed you!” She kissed him softly than pulling away, not wanting to cause a scene. But as she did, her watch caught onto his shirt, pulling it away and giving her perfect access to see the dark spot on his shoulder. She frowned, mentally shaking myself. AJ wouldn’t cheat, so she knew that couldn’t be a hickey.

“Who were you talking to baby?”

“My best friend. She’s coming out with me. I’m bringing her on tour, no matter what you say. I am not going alone. Seeing how LeighAnne isn’t going.”

“No problem. What’s her name?”

“Kris.”

Chapter 12
Alex stopped in the middle of this tracks, his heart pounding, his arm stinging as well from the slap Howie just gave him. No, there just couldn’t be. Kris was a common enough name. Anyone could have it. It’s not like it was his best friend that Theresa was talking about.

“Kris? I never heard you mention her?”

“That’s because I don’t. We haven’t seen each other in years, since she’s lived on the other side of the US. But, she’s more than happy to come out and meet her favorite group. I told her though, that Alex was off the market. Or was going to be. I do believe Howie was her second choice. Of course,” she paused, turning to look at Howie, “looking like a leopard, Mr. Dorough, is not going to win you charm points.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Theresa held up her hands defensively.

“Lack of sleep makes him a grouch too.” He rose his eyebrow at her than at AJ.

“Control your woman.” With that, he shoved past them and headed towards the luggage claim.

“You know, for someone who just got laid, Howie sure is Mr. Asshole.” Alex wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close and kissing her temple.

“Don’t worry about D. It wasn’t the best trip for him.”

“He seemed to be enjoying it.” Alex shrugged, kissing her again and letting the subject drop.

-----
Two weeks later, Theresa and AJ were back at the airport, waiting for Kris to arrive. And in those two weeks, not one thing was mentioned about AJ cheating, either from D or from AJ. Although, D constantly gave AJ nasty, ugly ass looks but every time Resa commented on it, D just waved it off and AJ would easily shut up. Granted, this left her frustrated and upset, but there wasn’t much she could do. She only hoped they got their act together before they hit that stage or otherwise the fans would be paying for it.

“Why won’t you let me see her? You know I hate being around people I don’t know.

“Honey, Kris is just a whiter version of me. And you love me, right?” She glanced at Alex, beaming at him as she saw the plane land. “You know you’re excited. And she’s a fan, finds you to be sexy actually. Can’t say I disagree.”

AJ shook his head, wrapping his arms around her waist. He woke up this morning feeling like today was just going to be a hellish day and yet, nothing seemed horrible. He had an enjoyable breakfast, talked to his mom and was now waiting at the airport for a woman he was positive wasn’t the same one he knew. He kissed Resa’s cheek, smiling at her, laughing at her giddiness. As the plane was taxing in, he felt his felt his phone vibrate, frowning as he saw that it was management.

“Baby, I gotta take this. I’ll be right back.” Resa nodded her head, hopping from one foot to the other, waiting for the doors to open. AJ once more shook his head as he headed off to take the phone call.

Theresa quickly saw Kris and ran over to her, engulfing her in a bear hug.

“Oh my gosh, Kris, it’s been forever!”

“I know. Oh, Resa, I missed you!”

“I missed you more!”

“Whatever. So, where’s sexy?” Resa blushed, linking her arms through Kris’s and leading her slowly to the luggage claim area.

“Got a phone call that he had to take. He gets them all the time. And don’t worry, we brought the Denali; I hate his sports car. He drives way too quickly for my liking.” Kris shook her had at that. She never recalled that Nick had those two types of cars. In fact, the only one who did was AJ and Alex would have told her if he was engaged. At least, she hoped he would have.

“Resa, am I really going on tour?”

“Like duh Kris. You’re my best friend and I need someone normal to keep me company. After all, I can only take so much goofiness before I go insane.”

“But your man is goofy.”

“Hmm, he has his moments. But, in all truth, he’s not that bad. Not like you would think. Now,” Theresa stood on her toes, looking around, “where is he? The call couldn’t have taken that long.”

“Maybe he didn’t know we were here?”

“Nah, he took the call right before you stepped off the plane. He would know to come down here. And he’s hardly recognizable, so the fans wouldn’t be stopping him.” She scanned the stairs, her face breaking out into a grin. “I see him. Here he comes.” Kris tried looking for the blonde man, but seeing no one that even looked closely like Nick. Just a man who had the same swagger as AJ…but…no, he wouldn’t…it…it couldn’t be! The man came up to Theresa and kissed her softly.

“Sorry that took so long. You know Jack can be long winded at times.”

“Don’t even think about it sweetie. I want you to meet my best friend, Kris. Kris, the man I’m gonna marry, the one and only AJ.” AJ froze in his place as he stared at the woman before him, his heart hammering in his chest. Oh, yeah, today was going to be hell. His eyes trailed over her, noticing every tiny change; the slightly shorter hair, the dark tan, the leaner legs, his arms long to wrap around her and yet he couldn’t. Shit! Shit! SHIT!

-----
Kris stared at him, her heart breaking. How the hell could he not tell her? She gave him the night of her life and he couldn’t bother with this huge tid bit? That was beyond low. But, for all the anger she was feeling, she couldn’t stop the beating pulse, the sweaty hands or the way her body screamed to run into his arms. Nor could she ignore the look Resa was passing between her and Alex; not that Kris could blame Resa. Had this been her, she would have been curious by the intense stares and the prolong silence.

-----
Resa stuck her hip out, arms crossed as she watched these two people very intently. The whole reaction too, made it quite obvious that they knew each other, and that they were shocked beyond hell to be coming across each other. This meant one of two things, both being pretty ugly. Either their last meeting was horrible. Or there was more to the meeting than a hug and a 'hi'. And that, Resa didn’t want to dwell on.

-----
“I’m guessing you two know each other.” Theresa decided she better break the silence, or it would stretch forever and it was already raking over her nerves.

“Friends from a long time ago,” Kris answered. Resa eyed her friend very carefully before turning her eyes to AJ, nodding her head.

“A long time ago? Wasn’t aware your trip to Hawaii was quite that long ago.” Both AJ and Kris turned to Resa, confirming her ugly suspicion.

Chapter 13

“We did bump into each other, Theresa. Had a couple talking moments, that’s it.” Resa raised an eyebrow at AJ. In all their years and time of being together, not once had he called her Theresa, EVER! Was it because of Kris that he didn’t want to use a pet name? Oh, boy, did she not like that.

“I believe you. Now, let’s get your bags, Kristal. I have a nice lunch planned for us with the rest of the guys.”

“Uh, D included?” Resa glanced over her shoulder at her friend and nodded.

“Of course. Is there a reason D shouldn’t be there?”

“No.” Both Kris and Alex said at the same time. Definitely not good!

-----
AJ mentally sighed. If he wasn’t careful, he was bound to get everyone in an accident for the majority of attention was split between the woman in the passenger seat who kept looking outside or the woman who sat behind him, who also kept looking outside. He knew he screwed up, there was no denying that. And there was no way to fix it. He had to admit, he wanted both woman and each for different reasons. He loved Resa, in his own way. He couldn’t just see tossing their relationship down the drain.

But he knew that he would never be able to live without Kris. He had tried, didn’t work too well. He was constantly texting her or emailing her. Sure, Resa asked, but he just told her that he was talking to D. Yes, he was heaping lie upon lie there and now she knew the truth. He knew Resa wasn’t stupid, he knew that she knew something more was going on. But she was also the type of woman not to make a scene in public or in front of guests. So right now, he just had to wait for a private time before they could talk. And that was if he wanted to talk to Resa first. Currently, he longed to talk to Kris, but he was more than certain she wouldn’t be giving him the time of day any time soon.

-----
She sighed, watching the California coast go by and really not caring. Her first hour here and her life had been turned upside down. The man she was in love with was engaged to her best friend. She knew that Theresa was gonna make her the maid of honor and Kris would have been honored. But she didn’t think that the maid of honor’s job entailed trying to steal the groom away. Oh, she knew that AJ wasn’t totally happy in this relationship, even if he did put a ring on her finger. He wouldn’t have cheated if that was the case. So, she wanted to believe there were some feelings there for her. What she didn’t want to believe, though, was the thought of not having him to herself. She loved Resa, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her best friend. But, right now, her best friend had the one man she loved above all other and was more than willing to fight Resa for him.

-----
Resa’s mind was whirling, her thoughts jumbling all together to make no sense at all. She gave AJ her heart, and for the second time, her heart was torn apart from her so called best friend. She was more than tempted to ask what the hell happened in Hawaii but was afraid to find out the truth. Although, to save face, she knew they would lie again and say nothing. She wasn’t a fool and hated that they thought she was dumb enough to believe it. The tension was high and you could cut it with a plastic knife. AJ’s eyes kept straying between her and Kris, and Kris was quiet. Both traits that neither one had.

She sighed, her gaze still seeing nothing. She frowned and finally reached over to the turn the music up, not caring what was playing at the moment. She just needed other noises than everyone’s breathing. And maybe the loudness of the rock cd that AJ had in would cover up any sniffles she might have. She leaned her elbow on the arm rest and rested her head on her hand, catching AJ’s gaze out of the corner of her eye. She turned and looked at him.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She turned back around, feeling his gaze once more.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She slowly started to grin.

“Whatever McLean.” He returned her grin.

“How did you know Kris?” Theresa turned in her seat and smiled at Kris, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt here.

“Online. You see, we’re both fan fic writers and happened to cross paths one day.”

“I had a story that she really liked and yet I thought it sucked.” Resa rolled her eyes at her friend.

“And it end up winning a couple of awards actually! None the less, we started talking and never stopped. That was ages ago.”

“Damn does time fly.”

“Yes it does. So, how did you two become friends?” Resa asked AJ, tilting her head slightly.

“Kris used to live next door to us. Oh my gosh, she was this annoying brat that my mom used to baby-sit.”

“Shut up Alex! You were not the best either doll face either! Denise used to watch me four days a week, the other three, Alex was over at my house playing dolls!”

“Dolls?”

“Yup. Alex would…uh…accessorize them a lot. Came up with some awesome outfits!”

“AJ played with dolls?” Resa looked at him, not missing the fact that Kris had the luxury of calling him Alex. Theresa was his soon to be wife and still wasn’t told she could call him that.

“Yes, I did. I would make them look like the bomb. Kris, you know you were jealous that you didn’t have my talent.” He pulled up to the restaurant, noticing all the cars and helped out both ladies, his hand slipping into Resa’s and than wrapping his free arm around Kris’s neck. They entered the place and scanned the room, seeing the rest of the guys in the far corner and headed over. Howie finally glanced up, his eyes opening wide and his jaw dropping as he stared at Kris than at AJ.

“What the hell is she doing here?”

Chapter 14
AJ shot D a glare, shaking his head in the tiniest movement than glanced to his right, showing D that Resa didn’t know anything so to keep his mouth silent!

“You know Kris, D?” Resa ask quietly, everyone else in a private conversation.

“Uh…meet her in Hawaii.” Resa sat down next to Nick and frowned. If D was that upset by seeing Kris, there really was more to this story than what was being told.

-----
Howie lifted his brows, almost shooting out of his seat as he watched the on coming trio. How the hell AJ didn’t get the balls to tell his fiancé that he cheated was beyond him. And now to find out it was her best friend. Resa must be spitting nails, even if she didn’t know the whole story. If both AJ and Kris thought they would pull this over on her, they were sadly mistaken.

When this came to a head, he wanted to be there. And boy did he know it would. Hell, behind her back, they were still sneaking glances at each other. You could feel the attraction between Kris and AJ. And yet, either Resa wasn’t paying attention, or she was just ignoring it. He glanced at Nick who seemed to be glancing between the three people, his blue eyes silently questioning and slowly turning to him. D just shrugged. AJ had already told every guy here what happened, hoping to get some good advice, and each guy told him the same thing, tell Resa. Of course, being AJ, he just ignored them and tried to pretend it never happened. But AJ had changed, even if Resa didn’t notice, they certainly did.

And for that, his heart went out to Resa, knowing just how much Resa loved AJ, not that he deserved it, especially now. He sighed, taking a drink of his beer, his eyes trailing over her. He loved his best friend, but damn, he wished at times that he could punch AJ to knock some sense into that man. Was Kris worth it? Personally, he didn’t think so. But, than again, personal feelings might be clouding that judgment.

“And this is Bri and LeighAnne. Than Nick. Kevin couldn’t be here. And you know D, did I mention he’s single?” D’s eyes flew to Resa. He stared intently for a moment, seeing the wheels turning, and the anger that was hidden just below the surface.

“Hi Kris.” No use in pretending not to know her.

“Hi again D.” Kris took the spot next to him and he turned to her, offering her a smile.

“Was the flight okay?”

“Yes, it was thank you.”

“And AJ hasn’t been any trouble?” Kris glanced at Alex than back at D, shaking her head.

“Not really. Just being typical AJ.”

“Ah, a pain in the ass. Did he say he’d show you around?”

“He didn’t, but Resa did. Well, at least before the tour.”

“Yes, the tour. Let me give ya some advice,” motioning for the waitress, “water Kris?”

“Yes, thank you. So, advice huh?”

“Don’t get into Nick’s games. He has them organized. The only thing that is, of course.” Howie chuckled as Nick glared at him. “Than Brian, don’t touch is movies. Baylee always gets into them and mixes them up and it drives him crazy!”

“Check, movies and games. What about AJ and yourself?”

“Me, just let me sleep. I haven’t changed much. Love my sleep. As for AJ,” grins as he dips his head closer, “he has a collection of nasty magazines, do not mess with them.”

“Resa knows?”

“Yes she does. It’s just funny to see Alex look at it.” At that, Kris cracked up, taking a sip of her water, her eyes glued to the man she loved.

-----
Resa watched the exchange before settling back against the seat, knowing the man next to her was watching that as well. She sighed as she unfolded her menu, but truly saw nothing that caught her fancy, which was very much unlike her.

“So, D, how do you know Kris?” Brian asked, taking a sip of his water, not having heard the first exchange. Howie and Kris both turned to Brian and Howie cleared his throat.

“Meet her in Hawaii.” Brian’s eyes opened wide as he started to choke. LeighAnne rubbed his back, looking at D, not knowing what was going on. Resa watched the whole scene through narrowed eyes. It seemed like every guy at the damn table knew something happened in Hawaii, and by their reactions alone to everything, the puzzle pieces were starting to fall into place for her too.

Chapter 15
“Do you know what you want sweetie?” AJ asked, resting his arm along the back of her seat.

“Uh, no, nothing looks good to me right now.” AJ glanced sharply at Resa.

“But you love this place. You always find something good to eat here.”

“I know. I’m just not hungry is all.”

“But you were earlier. Are you feeling okay?” Resa glared at AJ, her eyes narrowing the longer she stared at him. He finally backed off, turning his attention to his menu. Mentally, he sighed, his mind already flipping over what he would tell her when the time came for questions and answers and he would be damned if he had a sensible answer for that problem.

-----
Kris watched the whole thing, frowning to herself. She knew Resa as pissed, hell, she herself was. But that wasn’t cause enough for her to be a royal, class A bitch to him. Even if he did lie, which, a blind and deaf fool could see he did. Ah, hell, who was she kidding? The moment they got alone, Kris would so be ripping him a new asshole. Even if she rather be jumping his bones again. She shook her head slightly, not wanting to entertain those thoughts for a moment. And most certainly not wanting to do that with her best friend just down the way.

“Is something playing in your mind Kris?” Kris jumped slightly as Howie sat his menu down, resting on the arm of his chair.

“You know, don’t you?”

“Pretty much. AJ is one of my best friends and it’s not always easy to keep things from each other.”

“I kinda gathered everyone knows.”

“You are right. You know AJ has a big mouth, even bigger when he’s just some serious issues on his mind. Not to mention, again, all of us are close. Granted, I know more than other guys.” She ducked her head, playing with her hands.

“Do you hate me, D?” He had to flinch that. He did hate her, well, not hate, which was such a strong and harsh word. This wasn’t really her fault, so it wasn’t fair to her to be mad at her that one of his best friends was hurting.

“Hate you? No. How could you know that AJ was engaged? They haven’t announced it to anyone. And unless you watched them closely, you wouldn’t even know they were in a relationship.” He reached over and captured her hand, hating the look that had crossed over her face. “Kris, no one blames you. I mean, the only who has any blame is AJ. He knew better. But he also didn’t bother telling anyone the truth. If you knew and still did something, than yes, the blame can lie with you as well.” Kris looked over at him and smiled.

“Thanks D, you are a sweetheart.”

“True. But I hate people beating themselves up over something. And Resa is smart, she won’t blame you.”

“Maybe. She knows how badly I liked AJ.”

“So, is this a way for you to try and steal him away?” Kris bit her lip, looked back over at the couple and knew that she couldn’t do that to Resa again.

“No.”

-----
AJ kept watching the interaction between D and Kris and tried his best to show anything other than anger. Although, his best friends, if not his woman, could tell he was holding onto that sliver rather lightly. Ugh, did he want to scream out his frustration right now. His hand rested on Resa’s thigh under the table and even that had to be controlled. It wasn’t the touching her part, but the not flexing his muscles or clenching his hands that he had to think about. And that was hard. He took a drink of his water, wanting it to actually be anything but that right now. What was that about liquid courage? But not for the reasons that most men needed it. He just needed it to help sooth his damn nerves right now. And he knew damn good and well that the only on to blame for this oh-so-wonderful problem, was him. His heart, his mind, his body might have all screamed ‘no’, but it lasted for a grand total of sixty seconds, if even that.

He leaned back in the seat, his body angled toward Resa, trying to block the rather intimate setting that was happening between D and Kris. And Resa, in turn, turned to him, smiling.

“They make a rather cute couple huh?” Mentally, AJ was screaming and clenching his teeth and than ramming D’s head into the wall. But, he just smiled at Resa and shrugged.

“I suppose. Are you playing matchmaker?” Her eyes just took him in, her eyes that caught everything and missed nothing. And he knew that his emotions were probably are lot more noticeable than he wanted at the moment.

“AJ?” His eyes shot over toward Resa and he smiled.

“What baby?”

“Can I have a cigarette?” Oh, that wasn’t a good sign. Neither was the fact that her eyes were shooting poison tipped daggers right at him.

Chapter 16
“Baby you don’t smoke?” he stated, reaching into his pocket to retrieve his pack and the lighter, handing them both to her.

“I do, but it’s rare.” She stood up, getting both and looked at him. “I usually only do it when I’m really pissed off.” With that, Resa walked out of the restaurant and out to the parking lot, resting against his car. She stuck the cigarette between her lips, her hands shaking as she tried to light it up. She wanted to believe that Alex, the man that she was supposed to marry, wouldn’t betray her in such a manner.

But, looking back over that course of time, it was possible. She took a long drag, wondering if this problem was because of her, because she didn’t love him enough, because she let him have so much freedom. Although, she firmly believed that a man, your man, shouldn’t have to be tied down to you, like a dog on a leash. If they loved you, truly, madly, deeply, they would stay put of their own accord. She looked at the cigarette before taking another hit of it, it barely taking off the edge of her anger.

Mentally, she cursed herself, really starting to feel like whatever was going on was her fault. Granted, she still didn’t fully believe that AJ cheated on her. She had too much faith in him, in their love. But, giving everyone’s reactions, and the way they were both acting, something had happened. Perhaps it was her, Kris, that gave him that nice hickey she found, well, besides the ones on his neck, of course.

Than again, she could be worrying over nothing. Yes, Kris had done this once to her, but Kris was her best friend, she was giving her the benefit of the doubt here, actually giving both of them that benefit. She wiped her face with her free hand, looking up at the blue sky, trying to place everything correctly. But one couldn’t do that unless one had information. She could go to Howie, ask him what he knew. Would he cover for his boy? Would he tell her the truth? Somehow, she felt that his loyalties lied with his boy over her. After all, they’ve only know each other for a few short years where as D and AJ had been best friends for well over 15 years.

She threw the cigarette on the ground, putting it out with her foot. She wiped the tear that was slipping down her cheek and turned as she heard the approaching feet. As she saw him, she rolled her eyes, not ready to deal with anyone quiet yet. She rather liked her solitude, even if it was making her feel worse than she needed to be. And putting doubts in her mind that may, or may not, even be true.

“What do you want?” she asked, crossing her arms as she stared at him.

“To check on you.”

“Well, go back in with your friend, I’m fine.” He leaned against the car next to her and looked at her, his brow raised and his lips twitching.

“Now, who’s the liar, Resa?”

“Do not call me that. That is reserved for friends, and at this point, you aren’t one.”

“Why do you say that?”

“What happened in Hawaii with those two Howie?” He stood up; stuffing his hands in his pockets and shook his head, his heart screaming at him to tell her the truth while his mind was cursing AJ for putting him in this position to even begin with.

“I don’t know, Resa, honestly. Your best bet is to ask one of them.”

“You’re a damn liar, D. If you’re trying to save my feelings…” She strode past him, her head shaking, wanting to be done with this conversation, with all of them, but he quickly caught her arm.

“Theresa, of all people, I would tell you the truth. If I knew what happened, I would say so. The only thing I ever saw them do was act like friends. Our last night, I got a little drunk and ended up leaving before they did, but if something happened, AJ wouldn’t stay with you and you know that.”

“Your right Dorough, I do know that. And if I had solid proof, other than just my gut, I would be out of here, without a backwards glance. But he has my heart and I feel like I’m fighting for it, and the sad part, she just got it here.” She shook her head, looking at him sadly. “Now she’s here and I’m wondering if something did happen, do I still stand a chance with the man I’m engaged to?”

Chapter 17
AJ watched the retreating back, his thoughts actually going a mile a minute. Not like they really stopped since he saw Kris. Speaking of which, what the hell was he going to tell her? He found Heaven in her arms and he wasn’t sure he could let that go. But he wasn’t totally positive that she would still give him the time of day now. He let out a breath, glanced to his left and took the spot that Howie just left. She glanced up at him.

“Kris…”

“Stuff it Alex. Right now is not the time to talk and you know it.” She stood up, smoothed her shirt down and looked at him again. “But there will be a time and you better have some damn good answers, because I am so curious about everything.” With that, she left the table and strolled to the restroom. He sighed, running his hand over his face.

She would be upset. Currently, everyone was. The guys were made at him because they couldn’t figure out why he cheated. That included Nick, NICK, mister sleep with everyone that he can. He also told AJ that marriage was serious. If AJ honestly loved Resa, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, than he wouldn’t have let Kris get in the picture, wouldn’t have even entertained the notion of sleeping with another woman. And damnation, that man was actually right. How many times could anyone person claim that NICK CARTER was right and giving relationship advice.

AJ looked up, glanced at the remaining party and quickly stood up, stepping out onto the balcony that over looked the California coast. He took a deep breath, smelling the sea and smiling just a tad. Now would be a great time to examine why he did what he did. He loved Resa. She completed him in ways he never though possible. She was so much like him and yet, she had her own style, her own uniqueness.

So, if he loved her, what about Kris? AJ’s hands clenched the railing, his mind traveling back in time. Kris was the best friend, his…first in many ways. She was his first kiss, the first person he had ever slept with. In all truth, she was the first woman he ever saw naked. And they shared a closeness that no one would have understood. And yet, time and life had made them drift apart.

She claimed that she had loved him, that she had wanted him and only him. But he was just getting his dream together of singing and he wasn’t ready to deal with a relationship. So when they parted, it wasn’t on the best of terms.

Perhaps, deep within, he had to test the waters with her again. See, subconsciously or something, if she still loved him. And than what? He still wouldn’t leave the woman he asked to marry him. Did he do it to see if he still had the sex appeal? He didn’t need a night of sleeping with her to answer that. The screaming fans and the sexual messages he got was proof enough for him. So, again, than what?

He unclenched the railing, rubbing the back of his neck. Once they were done with lunch, they would be heading back to his house. And than he had a week before they left for tour. Damn it, three months of being around Kris and Resa at the same time? That was gonna be great. And see, there, that was the problem. If he loved Resa, than he shouldn’t have to worry about Kris and the off chance of some type of cat fight breaking out between the two. But, for as much as he loved Resa, he just didn’t want to hurt Kris. And if she still loved him, he knew that by him marrying Resa, she would hurt.

“You look like you need someone to vent to, man.” AJ turned and lifted a brow at Nick. “Hey, I’m just offering my ear. We all know my relationships haven’t been the best.” AJ nodded his head at that, turning his eyes back to scan the coast again, really thinking of how he would form his next question.

“Man, if I really loved Resa, with everything that’s in me…” Nick turned to AJ, already surprised by the way this question was starting, “…than why the hell am I so damn worried about hurting Kris? That any sign of affection I show my fiancé is going to just cut Kris to the core?”

Chapter 18
Kris washed her hands than glanced into the mirror, taking a deep look at herself. She dried her hands than brushed them over her face. She hadn’t changed much over the course of the years. Her hair style of course was different. But over all, she was the same person. And when Alex left so very long ago and never really told her anything, she felt like she had a knife tear through her stomach. It was the same intense hurt, pain, and anger that she felt when she put two and two together, figuring that her Alex wasn’t really her Alex anymore.

Granted, she had kinda kept tabs on him over the years, watched as he morphed into AJ, watched as he found heart break after heart break. And that maybe when she stopped watching him. Seeing him get hurt time and time ago was painful to her. Above all else, she loved that man dearly. Not just in the relationship way, but he was the one person who knew every tiny detail about her. Knew about the two scars she had on her hip, knew about the sexy mole that had an unmentionable location. Knew some of her deepest, darkest fears. And to see her beloved Alex become a man that just wasn’t….her beloved Alex, really hurt. So, she stopped focusing on him. Lost contact with him and Denise. And even if she wanted to, there wasn’t anyway that she could have contacted him again. Kris would have just seemed like every fan out there trying to get to close to their favorite star.

Than time drifted even faster as she got older. She had other relationships, yet to her, none felt right. She had a fair share of boyfriends, most who were asses and just, didn’t come close to her Alex. She sighed and shook her head. No, Alex wasn’t hers. Alex was Resa’s now. And though Kris loved him, she wouldn’t stand in their way of true happiness.
Kris tossed the paper towel away, focusing on the last lingering thought. They were happy, she had to believe that. Theresa believed in the unity of marriage, she wasn’t the type to say yes without thinking about it. And Alex, Alex wanted a happy home, and he seemed to be very happy with her. Than why cheat? That was the question of the hour; that was the question that was plaguing a lot of minds today!

No, she couldn’t think of that. She was going to ask Alex why, see what his answer was, and that was it. She would allow them to be happy, to get married, and to have a life together. After the damage Kris did earlier, she owed Resa that. Kris cast one last glance in the mirror, fixing her hair a little and checked herself over.

It was honestly time for her to stop comparing men to Alex. She no longer had a shot with the man she loved and she knew that. She just had to learn to accept it. Her Alex was finally happy and she had to be there for him, for them. Because Resa was happy too. She had a sparkle in her eye that hadn’t been in for a long time, and Kris missed that. So, she would just…be happy, accept everything and be the maid of honor that Resa needed. And when the time came to ask for objections, she would be as mum as possible.

Of course, falling under those lines of happiness was the point that she couldn’t flinch when they kissed or touched or even make a horrible face when they said I love you. She just had to grin and bear it, even if the knife in the stomach felt like it was twisting deeper and deeper. There had to be men out there who were as wonderful, no, were better than Alex. Resa thought D would be a great match for Kris, why not try those waters and see what’s there. If not, Nick was always looking for a new girlfriend. Maybe second think that one, after all, Nick was known for being more of a player than a true boyfriend. But wouldn’t it be awesome if Kris was able to tame the big bad wolf that was known as Nick. Much like how Resa tamed the big bad AJ. Kris smiled at that, than paused, frowning slowly. Resa tamed the big bad AJ? Resa didn’t even call AJ, Alex. Kris opened the door, pausing at the hallway before walking back to the table. If Alex was in love with her, he would want Resa to call him Alex, wouldn’t he? Did that mean that the deep love he had wasn’t really there? Than why ask marriage? Because she seemed like a decent girl? Okay, maybe getting in, asking one question, and getting it out, wasn’t going to happen. Not now, not after thinking that. If true, stable love wasn’t there, than by all means, Kris would be fighting for her beloved Alex.

Chapter 19
She walked through the front door and took the stairs two at time, hoping that her friend listened to her and followed her up. She glanced behind her and than entered one of the guest rooms.

“My dear Kris, this is your room. We actually leave in a week for the tour.” Kris smiled at Resa and entered the room, looking around and nodding.

“Who decorated it? Because they got great taste.”

“I did it actually. AJ only had one room totally done and I wasn’t happy so I fixed up all the rooms.”

“You need to work on your own business.” Resa shrugged, glanced downstairs and watched AJ disappear into the bottom part of the house and closed the door.

“Kris?” Kris glanced up at her, her brows snapping together.

“What is it Resa?”

“I’m not a fool. I’m not stupid. Something happened in Hawaii, more than two friends hanging out or even more than just a hug. I need you to tell me what it is.”

“Theresa…” Kris started and than plopped on the queen sized bed, patting the spot next to her. She had made it a point not to lie to her best friend, but anyone could see that Resa honestly cared for Alex. And if Alex was happy, the last thing Kris wanted to do was destroy that, or that’s what Kris kept repeating to herself. Than a moment later she was thinking of destroying it. She shook her head, mentally groaning. “I didn’t know Alex was seeing anyone, let alone engaged to anyone.” Theresa’s head fell down as she fell onto the bed. Kris rubbed her arm gently, took another deep breath, and for the first time in their history of friendship, lied to Resa.

“We kissed, Theresa. The night that he left. That was it.”

“That’s it? You didn’t go beyond that? Didn’t get into neck sucking or anything friskier?” Kris thought it over, recalled a few marks being left and blushed.

“Okay, maybe I went a little far, but he stopped me. Honestly, nothing happened. AJ loves you, he wouldn’t cheat on you.” Resa lifted a brow, somehow doubting her friends word. But, she never once lied, and Theresa knew that Kris wouldn’t do it to save her feelings. When she stole her first boyfriend, Kris was even open and honest and half the time, that hurt more than any lie.

“Thank you, for being honest.” Resa reached over and gave Kris a huge hug. “And with you here, you can start helping me with the wedding plans.” Kris hid the hurt that alone caused. This was supposed to be a fun trip and currently it had been a hell hole.

“You know I would love to Resa.”

“Great! I’m gonna let you get settled in. Howie, and maybe Nick, were talking about stopping by later. Don’t you think you and D would make a great couple? Anyways, get some rest too.”

“Okay, looking forward to it all.” Resa smiled again and than slipped out of the room, leaving Kris along with her over the hill thoughts. She fell back on the bed, throwing her arms over her eyes, groaning. She replayed back that night with Alex and tried to remember if it did mean something to him. Or was it really just a fling, a one nighter, a chance, a dare and than not even glance back.

But that really didn’t sound like the Alex that she knew. And no matter how much AJ shinned through, Alex, HER ALEX, was totally still in there. This she knew and trusted. That was the man that she had fallen in love with so long ago. That was the man who was her best friend.

So, she knew that night meant something. She also knew that she wouldn’t dare wanna break Resa’s heart again. But, hell, Kris had been alone for so long and the only man she was even happy with was the man her bestie was supposed to marry. She grabbed the pillow, pulled it over her head and screamed. She knew she had to play the happy role, not matter what the cost.


-----
She bounced down the stairs and headed down to the dance studio, watching from the doorway as he practiced his dance steps and getting frustrated as he kept messing it up. He paused, frowned, planted his hands on his hips and started mouthing to himself. She crossed her arms, smiling, feeling the tingles race up and down her spine as she looked at him. This was the man she loved.

She finally walked up behind him, doing the move he was having such a hard time with. He watched in the mirror, smirking.

“Show off huh?”

“Not at all.” She sat down on the floor and rested her back against the wall. He grabbed a bottle of water and sat down next to her, lifting his leg up and resting his arm on his knee.

“What’s up baby?” She traced the wood patters on the floor, not looking at him.

“You know why you keep messing up, right?”

“No, I don’t. It’s a tough move.”

“AJ, you have had way worse than that and you know it. But, you also know that when something is on your mind, you can’t do anything because of how consumed you are.” AJ’s eyes closed as he leaned his head back. “Wanna tell me what’s gong on in that mind?” AJ took a breath, thinking of his words very carefully. He had to tell her something, but the truth just wouldn’t work, because he couldn’t lose her. He opened his eyes and looked over at her, capturing her hand.

“Theresa, have you had the urge to make sure that us being together was right? Felt like you just needed to have the simplest test to make sure that the one you said you love was right?” She wrinkled her brows and chewed on her lips, slowly nodding.

“I guess. In fact, Shawn hit on me. I brushed him off because I knew my heart was yours. And it sucks to think you have to test your feelings, but I suppose I understand.” He could see the hurt in her eyes and his heart twisted. And than to think one of his best friends hit on his woman made his anger soar. He took her other hand made her face him.

“Resa, it was stupid. We kissed, nipped and nibbled on each other’s necks, but that’s all that happened. I love you. And honestly, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. You can ask Kris, you can ask D. Nothing beyond that happened!”

“I did. Both of them. And both said the same thing.”

“Than there you go. Theresa, I do want to marry you, I do love you. And I totally want a family with you. Just because I kissed Kris doesn’t mean I want her.” In all his life, he didn’t think he could utter a bigger lie than what he just did. His dreams were plagued by that one night and it took every ounce of strength not to cry out her name. And having her this close just was a disaster waiting to happen.
Theresa looked deep into his eyes, trying to figure out the truth so he buried what he could deep down, not allowing her to see it.

“I love you Alexander. You real are the man who makes me happy and without you, I’m not sure I would be happy.” And now the knife was twisting his gut.

Chapter 20

Kris heard the door close and made her way downstairs, seeing AJ sitting on the couch. She took a deep breath and walked over to him.

“Alex?” He glanced up, frowning a little.

“What’s up? Do you like your room?”

“It’s huge, lovely though, thank you. Where did Resa go?”

“Shopping. Nick and D are coming over for dinner. We are gonna have a small BBQ.”

“Oh, that’s who called.” Kris sat down on the coffee table and ran her hands over her jeans. Within her heart, and her mind, she knew she had to ask the questions that she honestly didn’t want the answer too. “Alex?” He glanced at her again, saw the questions burning in her eyes and knew the time had come to finally get everything out in the open. He was wishing that it would take a bit longer but he was well aware that was a damn foolish wish.

“Yeah?”

“We need to talk.” He sat his book down beside him and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He ran his hand over his face before looking her dead on. “And you know damn good and well what the hell I’m talking about!” AJ wanted to really crawl into the darkest part of his house and hide.

“I do know. Just was hoping that it was coming a little later.”

“Well, Resa isn’t here, so there is no later. How the hell could you not tell me that you were engaged?” AJ winced a little under her anger. His Kris was a total sweetheart when she wanted to be, but when her anger came out, so did the claws.

“Kris…”

“No, Mclean, you can not sweet talk your way out of this one. I deserve an answer.”

“I didn’t think to tell you about Resa, because, I never thought things would go the way they did!”

“Bull shit!”

“Kris, I swear, I never thought I was going to be with you, even kiss you. But that night, those days, you blocked out everyone from my mind. Do you think I planned to hurt you? Do you think I wanted to lie?”

“No, what I think is that you wanted both your cake and your ice cream!” With that, she stood up. “Were you ever gonna tell me that you were engaged?” Inside, he cringed. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he also knew that he was in deep shit already.

“No, I had no plans to tell you anything.” With that, Kris’ eyes flashed and her hand snaked out and slapped him hard.

“That might meant something to me Alex. All of the things we have, meant something. I was the world’s biggest fool to believe that, that night meant anything to you!” Alex’s eyes lifted up to met hers.

“Kris, it did mean something!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t believe that shit!” Kris started walking up the stairs and than stopped to look at him. “You do realize just how badly you hurt me. Imagine if your fiancé happened to find out. How would you feel? How would she feel? After all, she is still my best friend!”

-----
She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, her heart pounding loudly against her ribs. She finally added the last of her make up and curled her hair a bit. Right now, she was livid with Alex; for using her AND for betraying her best friend. And it was Kris’s curse that she didn’t have the strength to break her best friend’s heart by telling her the truth. So, instead, tonight, she was gonna lose herself to drinking and maybe a certain Latin man who seemed to be lookin’ mighty fine these days.

She sighed, knowing just how horrible she sounding, but she really wanted to make Alex jealous, if that was possible. Kris looked at herself again. No, she knew Alex felt something. She knew him well enough. But he wouldn’t act on anything, simply because he really did maintain one relationship at a time. Excuse me, one TRUE and LOVING relationship at a time. In all truth, and how she hated to admit this, cheating wasn’t what Alex did. It just wasn’t his thing. She wrinkled her nose and finally headed downstairs, smiling as she saw Howie.

“Hey there D. Are you cooking tonight?”

“Nah, not at a BBQ. That’s blondies job.”

“Does that mean we are going hungry since he’s gonna burn everything?”

“No. I promise, you’ll enjoy his BBQ. Want anything to drink?” Kris glanced down at his beer and wrinkled her nose a little.

“Do they have anything besides that?”

“I believe Resa got some wine coolers.”

“Oh, I’ll take that than.”

“Coming right up.” She watched Howie walk away and just about freaked as Resa came up behind her.

“He is one good looking man, huh?”

“Theresa! Are you trying to play match maker?”

“Not at all. Just saying that he’s single and you’re single and that he’s good looking. What you take from that is so up to you!” She winked as she took a drink from her own wine cooler.

“Does Howie know that you’re trying to set him up?”

“Nope. I just hate seeing him along and I think you two would look good together. Is that so bad? To want my friends happy?” Kris just looked at Resa, for Kris wasn’t so sure that Resa wanted a truthful answer to that. Because Kris knew that the only thing that would make her totally happy, would be if she was the one marrying Alex. And since that wasn’t going to happen, she was never gonna be totally happy. No matter how much Alex hurt her, she was gonna forever love that man.

“No girl, there is nothing wrong with that.”

-----
Alex stood back by the wall, watching his friend interact with Kris way to comfortably. He knew he shouldn’t be getting jealous but he couldn’t stop the strong emotion. He couldn’t stop thinking about the things that she said earlier, either. His eyes strayed to his fiancé who was currently joking around with Nick. He took a deep breath and stalked over to Resa, proving to himself, to her, to the whole world, that the only woman he wanted to marry was Theresa!

Chapter 21
She watched him, knowing something was on his mind. After all, he was hanging over her. His arm was constantly around her waist or he was holding her hand. Even went as far as to keep kissing her cheek and even kept whispering ‘I love you’ in her ear. And Resa could admit that she liked that, but thaws very much out of the normal for AJ. Yes, he was affectionate and did hold her hand, but to stay by her side like he did, no, that wasn’t the man she knew. And it really set her on edge. She tensed every time his arm slipped around her waist. Finally, she broke out of his hold, smiled at both him and Nick and made her way inside.

Oh, she wasn’t stupid. She had a gut feeling that the reason AJ was acting the way he was, was because of Kris. After all, through this evening, they really hadn’t talked and you could feel the anger between them, at least she could.

She sighed, resting her hands on the counter and letting out a breath. Who the hell was she kidding? She wasn’t dumb or blind. But she really wanted to believe her best friends, not to include the man that she was supposed to marry!

“Resa?” She glanced over her shoulder and looked at Howie.

“Yeah?”

“Uh, the grill is hot enough.”

“Oh, I’ll be right out there with the stuff. I just needed a moment.” She heard him pause before he walked over to her and rested his hand on her shoulder.

“Is there anything you wanna talk about?

“No, I’m okay.” He walked up beside her and gently turned her around to face him, his brown arching a little. “Really D. I just needed a moment.”

“Now, this wouldn’t have anything to do with the tension between Kris and J, would it?” Damn, sometimes one could forger how insightful D really was. Quiet he could be, but like Kevin, he had a tendency to see and notice what other just blew right past.

“I just…I have a lot on my mind D.” He crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the counter, preparing her for the talk, or lecture, that she was about to get.

“I can’t tell you how to live your life, you know that.”

“Than please don’t.” She turned from him and reached into the fridge, grabbing the chicken.

“Resa, what is your gut telling you?” She sat the chicken down on the counter, schooling her features so they wouldn’t give her away and turned to look at him.

“My guy maybe saying something, but my heart is telling something else. I love AJ, though he can be annoying. But my heart belongs to only him. And Kris is my best friend! She swore to me that she would never take my man again. I believe them and trust them. Just like I believe and trust you. You said you saw them do nothing more than kiss. If I believe that something more happened, that means that you all have lied to me.” She glanced outside at Kris and AJ and than back to him, missing the pain that crossed his face.

“And we wouldn’t do that.”

“And I know that. This is why I can say that I trust you.” She picked up the chicken once more than leaned over and softly kissed Howie’s cheek. “You know that you are one of my best friends D. I will always trust you.” With that, she walked out, leaving D alone with his thoughts. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, thinking over everything and not liking it, but what right did he have? AJ was the one who got himself in this mess and Howie would be damned if he hurt anyone. Although, knowing AJ, he’d take anyone and everyone down with him that he could.

He slowly turned around and watched, yet again, as AJ slipped his arms around Resa’s waist. He knew that Resa was gonna get played, hell, he knew that was gonna get played as well; in fact, she did. He knew that AJ would never tell Resa the truth, no matter what D told him. He closed his eyes, letting out a slow breath, only opening them as he felt someone else enter the room. He smiled at her, watching her walk in and head to the fridge.

“Kris?” She paused as she turned back around, twisting the cap off the wine cooler.

“Yeah D?”

“I’m not sure if it’s really worth anything, but I’m sorry, for everything; for the pain and the hurt. It really is something you shouldn’t have to deal with.” Kris just looked at D, a smile tugging slightly at her lips. Both of them knew that he didn’t need to explain anymore than he did. And both knew that it shouldn’t be him who was apologizing.

“D, you really are a sweetheart and it sucks that a lot of people don’t see that. And thank you. Most friends of his would probably pat him on the back and say ‘good going’.”

“Yeah, that’s true. In fact, I think Nick did. And for most men, it might a big deal, but I worry more about how the women feel. Mayhap that’s why I never cheated like he did.”

“When you find the right one, you’re gonna make her very happy. She won’t have to worry about you cheating on her.” She leaned over and softly kissed his cheek. “Thank you again.” He watched as she started to walk out the door.

“Hey, Kris?”

“Yeah Howie?” She glanced over her shoulder at him.

“I know I’m not the man you really want here, but would you mind if I asked you out on a date? Nothing fancy. Maybe just a dinner and a movie?” Kris could only smile, little butterflies actually making their way into her stomach.

“I’d like that a lot actually. I’d love to go out on a date.”

“Than I’ll call you later, to set a date.”

“Works for me.” She linked her arms through his and followed him outside. It wasn’t that wash she was using him, because she wasn’t, honestly. But she knew that she couldn’t, wouldn’t, wait forever for Alex to open his eyes and change his mind either. Wait, no that would be wrong of her to want that. Resa deserved the happiness that Alex could give her. But than again, if Alex wanted her, why didn’t Resa call him Alex? She knew that it was a question she kept repeating, a thin hope that maybe everything wasn’t as rosy as she thought. But, none the less, it was one she just couldn’t let go of. And in truth, it was a rather big question! She sighed, closing her eyes, yet smiling mentally. She would be with Howie, and had no problem with that, but if something happened to this wedding and the planning along the way….oh well!

Chapter 22

“Wanna go sit on the porch for a minute?” AJ whispering in Resa’s ear, smirking a little. She glanced at him unable to return his smirk, seeing what he wanted burning in the depths of those gorgeous brown eyes.

“I think we would be missed. It’s not like we are having a huge party you know?”

“I know baby. But come on. I want a real kiss and I know you won’t give it to me in front of everyone.” Inside, AJ knew that was part of the truth. He wanted to kiss his fiancé for all this touching was actually starting to drive him crazy with desire. He understood why Brian was always touching LeighAnne now. But, the other part had to do with the other female. He just didn’t want her to see him kiss someone else like that, let alone her best friend.

“Fine AJ, I’ll meet you out front in just a minute.” She giggled a little as she made her way into the kitchen to go out the front door while he made his way around the house, seeing the three remaining guests talking. He smiled a little more as he made his way to the front porch, sitting down on the steps. He could feel his pulse quicken a little by this little get away and he had to believe that it was a good sign. That he still loved and wanted Resa.

“You look a little lonely McLean, what kind of woman would do a thing like that?” He chuckled a little, holding onto her hands as she placed them onto his shoulders.

“I am lonely. As for the woman who would do that, it doesn’t matter. You are here after all.” He tilted his head back and looked up at her. She grinned and leaned down, kissing him briefly before moving around and sitting on his lap, her arms sliding around his neck. His lips, once again, sought hers out, his hands slowly rubbing her back, wanting to feel every little part of her. His tongue slowly slid along her lips, enjoying the sweet taste of both her lips and the last little bit of her wine cooler. He groaned, pulling her closer as her tongue flicked across his, her fingers sliding into his hair. He would never be able to express how her fingers alone could feel so amazing there and turn him on. Yet this woman in his arms could easily make him jell-o by doing that. And boy did he love that.
His fingers slide under her shit and brushed her skin, feeling the lines of her ‘tramp stamp’. Although, the tattoo wasn’t sleazy, it was cute and totally sexy. Yes, he knew he was doing the right thing by staying with her. She was that good girl yet bad girl that he not only wanted, but needed. And need her he did! He realized that with the slight pounding of her heart. Granted, his heart did speed up when Kris was around….no, no thinking of another woman when you are kissing your prefect woman. That was plain wrong! Even he knew that.

Resa finally broke the kiss, resting her head against his, her breathing just as erratic as his was. If she didn’t know AJ any better, that almost felt like he was proving something, than again, hat was almost. She knew different, she could feel it. He loved her and men who loved their fiancés don’t just go around cheating on them. Even though it just a kiss, Resa knew better. After all, she had countless kisses with AJ, she knew the difference in his kisses.

She smiled as she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. She knew that she tell him that, that one kiss probably saved their marriage, even if he didn’t know it.

“AJ?”

“Hmmm?” He started into her eyes and actually started losing himself in them. His Resa was a gem that he had no intention of letting go of, ever. He wanted something, had a wonderful night, but it couldn’t be repeated. And he knew he had to let Kris know. But, he still wanted and still valued her friendship.

“I know this is going to sound strange, but thank you.” She was right, that did sound strange. Why say thank you after a kiss? His brow wrinkled as he pulled back to look at her.

“Thank you for what sweetie?” She saw the play of emotions in his eyes. And she knew that she might shock him, in fact, part of her was hoping that she did.

“Because you have no idea what this one little kiss means to me. I was actually worried that everyone was lying to me and that you and Kris did do something. But the emotion, the love in that kiss, I know that you didn’t do anything. And I’m sorry that I doubted it. I guess there was just so many signs, so many questionable acts, but if you didn’t love me, that kiss would not have been that powerful, that moving.”

“You’re right baby, nothing happened. Resa, I love you and want to marry you, and only you!”

“I know that. But I was scared. Can you really blame me here?” Looking over the situation, no he couldn’t blame her. He smiled again, a true smile and than leaned forward, capturing her lips once more.

-----
Kris leaned back against the wall, her heart pounding. She and D had thought a walk sounded good and started towards the front of the house, but the last thing either one of them thought was that they would walk into something so intimate.
She closed her eyes, her heart shattering even more. She knew and understood that AJ wasn’t hers, but part of her was really hoping that she had a fighting chance. Now, after witnessing that and hearing that talk, she knew that a chance just wasn’t going to happen. She let out her breath, finally opening her eyes as Howie grabbed her hand.

“Come on, the food is almost ready. We can take that walk later and talk.”

“Sounds like a great idea.” She offered him a smile than cracked up as Nick started shouting.

“Hey people, food is READY!” They made their way back into the backyard, watching as Resa and J came through the back door. “Hey Kris, where did you and D take a walk at? Couldn’t have been far, you two weren’t even gone for five minutes.” AJ’s eyes quickly lifted to Kris’s, knowing that the only way to go to the front was by the walkway and he knew that they had to have passed right by the kissing couple.

“We didn’t go far Nick.” AJ looked at Kris; saw the pain written in her eyes. But he also noticed that he hand was entangled within Howie’s. Three emotions raged through him. Anger, because he hurt her, this he could tell; annoyance, because he knew he shouldn’t be feeling these other two emotions; and finally jealousy, because she was showing signs of being with D, when she should be with him!

Chapter 23
She paused in front of the store, sipping her soda, admiring the wedding dress. She had been quiet through out the morning and her future mother in law could certainly tell something was up. Resa jumped at the gentle touch on her shoulder and turned to look at Denise, her eyes wide, forgetting for a moment what was going on.

“What’s wrong Theresa?”

“What? Oh, nothing. I’m sorry Denise, I just have a lot on my mind.”

“I can see that. What are you thinking about?” Resa tugged on her lip, looking back at the dress and shrugged.

“I thought about jumping a plane with AJ and heading to Las Vegas and getting married. I’m not sure I can wait another few more months before we get married.”

“But you all leave for tour in two days!”

“A flight, the ceremony, the flight back can all happen in less than a day.”

“Interesting.”

“What’s interesting?”

“You. When AJ suggested it, you were the one who was very against the idea. And now, here you are, thinking about the idea yourself. Tell me hon, what changed in the last few months that would make you do something you didn’t want to do?”

“People can change Denise. Ideas and feelings can change.”

“That they do. But when Alex asked you to marry him, your faced was aglow with love and happiness. You told my baby that you would give him his dream wedding. Hoping a plane to Vegas is not what either of you really want.” Resa sighed, recalling her words and her feelings. Oh, she still wanted to marry him that would never change; at least, she really hoped that never changed. But, then again, it was AJ who did the proposing, not Alex. And at the time, she didn’t really think anything of it. But seeing how he acted around Kris, she really knew the two were different men.

And perhaps that’s what was eating at her now. She didn’t mean to walk in on them acting all cozy and domesticated. But one could tell they were close and that’s something she would never have with him. And what they were doing was something that AJ always told her he would never do.

Resa had the distinct pleasure of walking in with Kris’s feet up on his lap and he was painting her toe nails! He would rather drink fresh milk from the cow than paint Resa’s toe nails, and that was his own words! And after seeing that crap, how was she supposed to feel? Wasn’t love and trust supposed to be holding a marriage together? What about passion and sizzle?

As of now, Resa had that with AJ, but for how long? Kris was gorgeous and it was obvious that the two were comfortable with each other. Hell, AJ even went as far as brushing her hair. Once more, something that Resa never got.

“It’s not Denise. But I just feel like I’m losing your son and I don’t want to.”

“Theresa, AJ loves you! And you know that. You’re the good girl my son needs. But rushing into a marriage, if you two aren’t 100 percent ready, is certainly not a good thing and certainly not an answer. You will be turning right around and getting a divorce.”

“You’re right, and I know that.”

“Good, so don’t worry anymore. Now, what’s this about a surprise?” Resa linked her arms through Denise’s and lead her down to the restaurant where Kris was sitting and waiting alone. But once she glanced up, she screamed, running over to Denise and throwing her arms around her neck.

“Mom, it’s been ages since I’ve seen you.” At that name, Resa cringed; the name hurting her dearly, for Denise still hadn’t given her the go ahead on calling her mom.

-----
Resa frowned as she walked into the room, tossing her purse on the end table, not caring that she left her little lunch date. It wasn’t like the two women even noticed that she left anyway. She clenched her teeth, thinking that over, not even knowing how she could stay there for an hour and listen to them talk, totally and completely ignoring her. It wasn’t as if she was laying claim to either one, but a surge of jealousy rose up in her. She had sat back and realized two things that she would never have. One was how close Kris was to Denise. Growing up with someone, she understood, brought closeness and understanding, she wasn’t going to take that away from either one of them. But Resa was smart enough, and certainly astute enough, to know she would never get that with Denise, no matter how hard she tired or wanted. And, secondly, she knew that there were a lot of things that happened to Kris that Kris never confided to her. And they were supposed to be best friends. How can you withhold so much information from your best friend? That wasn’t friendship! And that hurt, that jealousy, was enough to make her sick and to make her cry. All she wanted was to fall down on her bed and sob. But no one was there to console her or soothe her.

Theresa lifted her head and eyed the pool, slowly walking over to it. It was a nice afternoon and a dip in the pool sounded nice. Of course, never coming up for air sounded good too. That stopped her short. She had been that foolish once. Wanting to commit suicide because she had been betrayed, she had been hurt, she had been jealous and she had been alone. But now, she was stronger, smarter, and more able to deal with her problems.
She turned slightly and glanced at the stair way. She could go upstairs and finish packing for her and AJ, for there was still a lot to do. She had clothes that needed to be washed and things to be put away and of course, she had to make sure everything was on the laptop for her wedding. She shook her head, none of that sounded appealing. She turned again; saw the basement and the recording studio next to the dance studio. AJ had given her free leave of both, not that she had a clue when it came to that sound board with the many buttons and switches and lights. It blew her mind just to watch him do it.
Yet, none of that sounded fun either. Once more, she was alone. Howie was with AJ and Nick, probably finding some kind of trouble. Brian was with LeighAnne and Bayley; her supposed best friend was with her mother in law. She had no one to talk to, no one to hang with. She was, after all, alone. What a horrible and ugly feeling.

There was an easy therapy for that actually. In some ways, she and AJ did fit. She picked up her purse, locked up her house, started up her car and grinned as she blared her music and headed to the mall. She and AJ did happen to share a passion for shopping. And when one was alone, shopping was a friend.

-----
She browsed through the mall, finding a few things here and there for herself and for her friends. She was still thinking about them, even if she didn’t answer their phone calls. Yes, her phone had been ringing off the hook with them calling her or sending text messages. She even had a tweet from Nick. But for once, she enjoyed this solitude. There was something rather therapeutic about shopping. Of course, the money she was spending was AJ’s. He might not totally dig the bill when it came in, but oh well.

She walked out to her car, finally setting the bags in the backseat and started driving, not heading home. She wasn’t ready to deal with all of the people who would be there, even if it was just AJ and Kris. Resa knew what she told AJ, that she believed him, trusted him. And she did. Yet, the voice in the back of her mind didn’t. So, it would keep nagging, keep saying something and it was a hard voice to ignore! And as she walked and shopped, she realized that she needed proof. Having friends, who told her no, just wasn’t enough. But what did one do? It was in the past, it’s not like she could go back and rewind time.

She drove along the ocean drive, thinking that stopping at the beach would have been nice. And mentally agreeing that tomorrow would be a wonderful day to do just that. She had no doubt that she was getting left alone yet again. As she glanced around, a shop caught her eye. It was a newer shop in a way, like it wasn’t there before, but the building was rather run down. Normally, Resa did not believe in physics or all that mumbo jumbo, so she couldn’t explain why her car all of a sudden did a sharp u-turn and drove to the shop or why it parked itself and than shut itself off. But once it did, she was brave enough to step out of the car and than make her way into the shop.

It was pleasant, serene almost, not what one would expect from a physic shop. As the bell chimed, an older, petite woman came from the back, a smile on her face.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m not sure. I saw the shop…”

“And you have unanswered questions that you think I can help you with? Or that maybe you can find out on your own? ”

“Perhaps.”

“Name is Jolene Trenton.”

“It’s a pleasure Jolene.” Theresa walked around the shop, glancing briefly over the rows of books. She had tried, a very long time ago, to understand the strange world of physics and tarot reading, but she never quite caught on. And as faith would have it, she’s once again in a store, looking at books, wondering if they would help her with her burning questions. Okay, okay, she said she believed AJ, and she did want to, really! She wanted to believe her friends as well. But, that damn voice just wasn’t giving up, again. So much for therapeutic huh?

“Is there anything I can help you find?” Resa paused as a book caught her eye. It was a book about Tarot cards, how to read them and how to find the simple answers. She grabbed it and started flipping through it.

“Are they right?” The older woman glanced at the book in Theresa’s hands and smiled softly.

“I suppose. When you talk to the cards, make sure you ask your question out loud, and than mediate on that question. The thoughts get jumbled up with a multitude of things, so saying it out loud just makes you concentrate all that more on it.”

“I read somewhere that you should do it alone?”

“That is up to the person. I have found that it’s not a problem to have more people there. But make sure that only one person is asking at a time. And you do know not to take the cards in the picture sense, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Depending on the position the card may take, the Death card, for example, doesn’t mean death as many would believe. It actually means the start of something new, an adventure. That book is the simplest and easiest way to understand the cards and what they are telling you.” She flipped through the book some more, looking at the cards, quite awed by the design and the meanings. What would asking the cards really bring? Again, it’s not like she really believed it?

If that was the damn case, why was she here, looking at a book and really thinking about buying a deck of Tarot cards and book to help her understand? She sighed, giving into the fact that she at least did want to ask and walked up to the lady, spotting the decks in a case and seeing a gothic looking set.

“I’ll take this and those cards.”

“He does very excellent work. Very detailed information.” She rang up the stuff and than put it in a bag, handing it to Theresa. “The cards will be an as honest and accurate as you want, my dear. If you don’t believe, the information they give you might be a tad incomprehensible. If the true question that is lurking within isn’t the one you asked out loud, the cards are going to be incomprehensible. Just remember that.”

Chapter 24

“You look worried?” AJ stopped his pacing and turned to look at Brian, who was regarding him over the top of his magazine.

“Wouldn’t you be?” Brian shrugged, glanced around, seeing everyone outside in the pool and tossed the magazine back on the coffee table.

“Why not talk to me man?” AJ shook his head and turned around, his attention out the window, watching the last of the suns rays slip beyond the ocean, and Resa still wasn’t home yet. There wasn’t even any sign that she came home.

Both Denise and Kris realized that Resa left, and both figured that she just headed home, but when they got here, neither one had seen her, and than got worried. They quickly called both D and AJ, thinking maybe she was with one of them, and still no damn word. And for his fiancé, that was out of context. She always called and said she was out running around or buying something and would be home later. But no word. And she didn’t bother to pick up the phone when everyone and he did mean EVERYONE, tried to call her. They sent texts and tweets and still nothing. That was way out of character. “Alex?” He turned worried eyes to Brian who stepped up to him, placing his hand gently on his shoulder. “Talk to me.”

“I’m worried.”

“Man, this goes beyond that. You remember the time Resa was shopping and didn’t realize the time was so late. She hadn’t called and you weren’t nearly so worried than.” AJ knew Brian was right. There was more going on. He sat down on the arm of the couch, still keeping his eyes outside, but gave his attention to Brian.

“You’re friends with Jackie, correct?”

“Yes I am.”

“And you have a relationship with that woman that LeighAnne doesn’t really grasp, correct?”

“When you’re best friend is a female, you’re wife and girlfriend will never understand it.”

“That’s what Kris is. And I can see the questions, the accusations burning in Theresa’s eyes when I look at her.”

“There’s a difference man. You have a history with Kris. You loved Kris. And beyond all of that, you cheated on Resa with Kris. Resa doesn’t know that, but you can’t expect her not to question it. Man, look at the way you are with Kris. When Resa walks into a room with you two, you both jump ten feet apart, as if you are guilty of something. Granted, you are, but if you love Resa, and really want to marry her, than this nervousness you feel with Kris has got to stop.” Brian took in all the details of AJ, his posture, the tilt of his head, the way his fingers were playing with his shirt and he knew that AJ was questioning that decision. “You do still want to marry Theresa don’t you?” AJ swallowed hard, finally turning his eyes to Brian’s. And as Brian looked into them, he slowly shook his head. “Resa is getting further along with her wedding plans man. Either continue down this path and marry her, or cut the strings and the losses now.”

“I love her.”

“Are you sure J? Really sure?”

“YES!” AJ jumped up off the arm, running his fingers through his hair. “I want Resa as my wife!”

“Than you might want to tell both ladies that. Because I think you’re stringing on two women man.” Mentally, AJ cringed. Was he doing that? Hoping that Kris would be there if anything happened with Resa? Was he giving false hope to his friend, letting her believe that something more would happen with her? He would always love Kris, would always treasure what they shared, but he did want his Resa. His heart and his gut told him that. But before he could speak, lights flashed into the house and before the roar of the engine could die, AJ was racing out the door, yanking Resa from the car and pulling her into his arms, his lips capturing hers. Later, he would mad and upset later. Right now, he was just grateful that nothing happened to her. That him holding her tightly and kissing her roughly was because he was scared and worried. That’s what he desperately wanted to believe.

-----
She saw Brian race out the back door as she headed through the front and than turned her gaze to AJ as he stepped up behind her, not having spoken a word to her.

“Well, I must admit, it’s nice to of you to finally show up, you know.”

“I’m sorry AJ. I was doing some shopping and you just lose track of time. I didn’t mean to worry you, really.”

“And you didn’t pick up your phone? Everyone was calling or texting you. Hell, even Nicky sent you a damn tweet!”

“I left my phone in the car and by the time I even heard the beeping of missed calls, I was on my way home. Figured there would be no reason to call then.”

“No, that is not okay. Resa, you had me worried. Everyone here, was worried. Ad you are just going to waltz right on up and apologize.” She paused as she started to put the bags down. She had never seen AJ this frantic. And this wasn’t the first time she had down that. Hell, he was the same way. Often forgetting about the cell and just enjoy a shopping spree.

“It won’t happen again.”

“You’re damn right it won’t.” With that, he stormed out of the room, anger and worry clearly written all over him. But she had no clue why. Nothing had ever happened to her; she wasn’t a careless driver, so she couldn’t figure out why this time he seemed so butt hurt.

“His mom and Kris told him that you ran out on them. He was worried about you’re well being, about the hurt you must be feeling. That’s it.” She took the few things she bought for the house out of the bags before turning to D. “You’re whole expression shows your confusion about him being angry.”

“Oh. I was hurt D. But you know me, I get over things. I’m not someone who is close to them like Kris is.”

“This is true. We can all see the bond between the McLean’s and Kris. And because of that, AJ was worried that you would do something stupid.” At that, Resa rolled her eyes. It wasn’t to say that the thought of doing something drastic hadn’t crossed her mind, for it had. But doing something would only cause more pain and heart break rather than help her like she wanted.

“You know me D. I’m not that type.”

“I know that. But that doesn’t stop someone who loves you from worrying.” She finally put everything away and than turned to look at him fully.

“Do you think I’m stupid for questioning his love?”

“No. You are human and you have received a major jolt to that foundation of love. But let me say something as your friend here. Either you believe AJ still loves you and you go on with the marriage, of you call it quits, here and now. But if you keep your goal for the marriage, know there will be more shocks, more things you are going to find out about him and Kris that you may no like. And remember that was the past, and this all in the present.” She crossed her arms as she thought that over. D was right. Either she truly trusted and believed her fiancé or she cut the strings. She walked over to D and gave him a big hug.

“You’re right. I hate it when you’re right, but thank you.” She left him standing there and she walked outside. His eyes stayed glued to the spot where she just stood, his heart pounding. Was he a fool? More than likely. But no matter what happened between him and Kris, he couldn’t stop his heart from racing when Resa was in the room. He knew he told her to choose but damn the foolish thought of her saying that she would it all.

Chapter 25

He leaned back in his chair, his ankle resting on his other leg as he thought of many words and sentences and whole phrases that were uttered tonight. Was he in tough spot? Yes. And no. He knew the right thing to do. CONFESS! Not to say that was the easiest thing. But if he wanted a relationship with Resa, he needed to be open and honest with his feelings right now. Maybe, if she knew, he wouldn’t feel like such an ass.

Than again, she if she did know, it was more than likely going to end the relationship. What woman ever wanted to be with a man who cheated? NONE. And that was the problem. He knew there wasn’t a chance in hell that he could live without her. When she didn’t come home, that was proof enough.

He closed his eyes, hoping that some type of music would inspire him, but so far, he had a few lines on his computer and that was about it. Nothing that even sounded good either. He leaned back in the chair, smirking a little as it squeaked. Yes, thanks to him and Resa, they were the cause of the squeak. Though comfortable and big, it wasn’t made for loving purposes. He turned slightly as the door opened and she stood there, her hair down and smiling.

“The light wasn’t on, so I figured you weren’t busy.”

“Not yet. Haven’t come up with anything.”

“You know if you force it sweetie, nothing is going to come period.” She walked in and stood before him.

“I know. I thought I had a beat…”

“But it wasn’t anything?” He nodded a bit, reaching out for her hands. He tugged her down on his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Resa?” She turned a little bit more and smiled at him yet again.

“Yeah?”

“If a man…cheated on you, what would you do?” She sucked in a breath and tilted her head a little, regarding him carefully. He knew that he had to cover all signs, for he couldn’t play that card quite yet. He wasn’t ready to and yes, call him a fool, for he knew he was.

“I suppose, in all truth and fairness, I would wonder why. Did I not please him? Or something like that. Would I leave, I’m not entirely sure. Why do you ask baby?”

“Oh, no reason. I’m just curious is all.” Resa looked at him again, her thoughts going on overdrive. They had already had conversations like this in the past and it hadn’t changed, it wasn’t ever going to. He knew the answers, knew her feelings and her outtakes. So, why ask yet again? That was the push she needed. She may not have 100 percent faith in the cards, but she did need to know something, anything, for she couldn’t keep spinning around and around.


-----
What are you doing?” Resa glanced up and smiled.

“I’m looking at some stuff on Tarot cards.”

“Since when did you start believing in the Tarot cards?” She shrugged than turned back to the laptop.

“I’m not totally positive I believe in them, Nick. But I certainly am curious.”

“You know, Brian would have a fit if you saw you looking at stuff like that.”

“I’m aware. But I’m just curious.” Nick just looked at her, knowing her well enough to now that she wasn’t just curious. She just wasn’t that type and he slowly started to smile.

“You have some.” Resa glanced sharply at him.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I have nothing.”

“Bull crap girl. You are there getting some detailed information if you’re just curious. You have a deck, don’t you?” Resa looked around to see where the rest of the gang was than turned and looked at nick.

“You are not allowed to say anything, Carter. But, yes, I have a deck. And I bought the book, trying to find some different layout and what the cards mean.” Nick chuckled a little and pointed to a website.

“Go there. And I can talk you through what I know.”

“Wait, you know? How would you know anything about the cards, Nick?”

“Let’s just say that they sparked my interest once and I still play with them.” She sat back against the seat, watching the man. Hell, how it was that Nick was still able to surprise her was shocking. But, than again, there’s a lot the fans didn’t know or understand about the guys. Not that that was surprised, because they often kept a lot of information to themselves. And everyone knew, with out a doubt, that if anything was said that was out of context, they would be hearing it forever! So, it was a lot easier to keep things bottled up, or to keep them quiet within in the group than to go around mentioning them.

“You know, one day, a book is going to get written. The Backstreet Boys and the secrets they have kept! And I tell you, it’s going to be a number one seller!” Nick chuckled as he picked up one of his bags.

“You know, like anyone of us, things just aren’t shared.”

“I know. I’m just saying, the fans would probably die of a heart attack if they knew the truth.” She turned her laptop off and slipped it in her case, looking up as AJ walked over.

“What are you two carrying on about?”

“Secrets and how I think the Boys are worse than the government. I was telling Nick you all could write a book and shock every fan out there.” AJ shrugged as he slipped his arm around her waist.

“It’s quite possible. And damn near funny!” She shook her head, leaning against her man. His lips brushed over her head and she had to grin, finding comfort within that simple kiss. “Oh, that reminds sweetheart, you did bring the stuff for the wedding right?”

“Yup. And phone numbers. I figured since we were pretty much getting married right after the tour, I had better be doing a lot of phone calls and what not. Kris said she would help and so did your mom.” She gave him a brief smile and than turned as Baylee came flying around the corner and straight to her. And that was the perfect chance for him to let his eyes find the woman he was searching for. Granted, when he saw her, he wasn’t all to thrilled, for she was flirting with Howie, her hand on his arm and a smile on her face.

He ground his teeth as he watched the whole show and his hands were clenching, wanting so badly to punch the man. But, what flippin ass right did he have? None. But that did not calm the edge he was feeling, nor tone down the urge to ram his fist into Howie’s nose.

Chapter 26
She played with her suitcase strap, half of her really feeling like she didn’t belong. And why she was going was beyond her. Granted, the guys, and gals, were always nice enough and treated her well, but she still couldn’t shake that feeling. Especially watching Resa and AJ together. And than to know she had to say with them! She sighed, turning slightly, stopping as Howie was right there.

“Something wrong hon?” Kris smiled, shaking her head.

“Not really.”

“Oh no, I may not know you like J, but I know you well enough. What’s on your mind?” He bent down, grabbing her suitcase and started heading toward the buses, her jaw dropping before quickly following him.

“Howie!”

“What? My mom taught me how to be a gentleman. So, what’s on your mind?” She sat down on the couch and crossed her legs, chewing on her lip. She really wanted to confide in someone and Resa wasn’t an option.

“I guess. I just don’t feel like I should be here. Going with you guys. That’s reserved for close friends and family and…”

“And you are! Kris, you are my best friend.” AJ plopped down next to Kris, patting her leg. “I’m glad Resa invited you other wise I would have. And all the guys love you too. So, really, don’t worry.” She smiled, watching AJ for a moment before glancing at Resa.

“He’s right, everyone likes you. And you know that it takes a lot to get into this click.” Resa sat next to Howie, leaning against him. “Take Mr. Dorough here. I think he’s rather into you.” Howie rolled his eyes, shoving her a bit.

“Whatever. Excuse me; I’m going to find my bunk.”

“Bunk?” Kris sat up, looking up at him as he stood up.

“Yeah, we thought it would be more fun if we had two buses this tour. That was, the three of us could made fun of Nick and Bri.” She shook her head, not quite knowing if she liked that or not.

“Don’t worry, buy ear plugs and you won’t hear anyone snore.” AJ jumped as well, leaving both girls alone. “Kris, don’t feel bad. Believe me, this tour will be fine.” Resa smiled at Kris, yet Kris had her doubts. It was on the tip of her tongue to say something, to speak up and just as she got the nerve, the bus driver got on, telling them they were ready to head out. She knew she head past the point of no return.

-----
She sat down at the little table three hours later, looking over her shop and how things were going. It was hard to leave home, but she knew that everything was in good heads. And they had all the information to get a hold of her. And, of course, Resa was allowing her to check email and stuff on her laptop.

As she wrapped up what she was looking over, she thought she take a peek at what Resa had been looking at earlier. It seemed way too secretive, for she allowed no one to see. Granted, Nicky found a way to see, but he wasn’t telling, no mater how much she begged. So, she pulled up the history, rather surprised when the Tarot site popped up.

“Oh, what do we have? She doesn’t seem the type to be into something like this.” Kris glanced around; making sure no one was around and started reading stuff. Sure, it was new and some stuff brought back memories. Oh yes, she certainly knew a lot for she had her own interest spiked at one point about them. And in most cases what the cards had told her, way back when she used to read them, things pretty much came true. The one time they were wrong was with who she was supposed to end up with. He, of course, was engaged to another woman.

He turned a little as someone cleared his throat from behind her. She quickly shut the laptop and smiled at Howie.

“Are you looking at naughty things on the web?” He walked into the kitchen and pulled out two cokes, offering her the other one.

“No, just checking on things at work.” She accepted the can with a smile and took a drink, watching him as he sat down next to her.

“Oh, how are things going? Every one doing what they should be doing”

“Yeah. In all truth, I couldn’t ask for a better crew.”

“Good.” Howie took a sip of his coke and kept his eyes glued to it. She may not have known him that long either, but she knew people and knew when something was on the mind.

“Howie, what are you thinking?” He cleared his throat before finally looking up at her.

“Our date wasn’t that bad, right? You enjoyed the movie? And the dinner? I wasn’t a fool or an ass?”

“No, you weren’t! And of course I did. I had a great time. Why do you ask?”

“Because I want to take you out again. That is, if you wouldn’t mind. The next stop we have, we have a little bit of time and there is this great café that I think you would like. Would you like to go?” For some unknown reason, the fact that Howie was asking her out again actually made her giddy. She couldn’t help it either. Her grin widened and she actually giggled; something she hardly did.

“I think that sounds great, actually. I would love to go. Thank you.” He let out a whoosh of air, almost like he was worried that she would say no. Hell, she may be in love with an already taken man, but she was no fool. You don’t turn down a Backstreet Boy, especially one as sweet and sexy as Howie.

“Good. Than I’ll make the arrangements.” His hand finally left his soda can and reached for hers. That was actually the first time any man had ever done that. Granted, men did hold her, but to hold hers across the table, it just didn’t happen to her. And if felt good, felt sweet. Without a moments pause, she leaned over and give him a kiss on the cheek. And, he blushed!

“That is adorable!”

“Don’t get used to it, I don’t do it a lot.”

“Aww, look at the two lovebirds, flirting with each other. Don’t you think its sweet baby?” Resa smacked AJ’s arm as she passed by, taking in what she saw. And for the life of her, she had no clue why she hated that little scene.

Chapter 27
AJ’s eyes followed Resa, wondering why she smacked him. Yes, he made the comment but it’s not like he meant anything by it. If he was going to be forced to watch those two, he was going to be making smart ass comments. Which reminded him, when he got the chance, he was going to be having along conversation with D. Howie had said he didn’t care all that much for Kris and yet, here he is, holding her hand and planning a second date.

AJ sat down at the table as well, lifting a brow as D as Howie kept looking at him. He knew it was mean, but he loved pestering the shit out of d, always had in fact.

“What?”

“Do you mind man? This was a private matter.”

“Nope, don’t mind at all.” AJ beamed at D who only rolled his eyes.

“Let them be McLean. We can go watch a movie and cuddle.” Resa sat her hand on his shoulder and handed him the soda can she had already opened.

“Aw, baby, you take the fun out of everything.” He stood back up again, took a sip of the soda, slipped his free arm around her waist and beamed at Howie as he past by.

-----
“AJ! You know that a building relationship needs alone time. And if you want to see your friends happy, than leave them alone!” Resa sat down and curled her feet under her, watching him intently.

“Do you really think there’s something there?” Resa shrugged as she leaned against him.

“I don’t know. They sure seemed to have hit it off. What was it like when they first met? Did they clash?” AJ thought back on that, recalling the things that D said. And he sure didn’t seem to like her. But than again, that could have had something to do with the fact that AJ was cheating.

“Well, I don’t think they clashed. And I suppose they got along well enough.”

“There you have it. And you can’t deny how cute those two look together! It’s like, I don’t know, Kris fits him or something.”

“Yeah, something.” He kissed the top of her head, letting the subject drop. Damn Howie and his charming ways. After all, there was once upon a time when Howie had tried to date Resa. But AJ got in first and had her heart since than. At least, that’s what he wanted to believe. And most of the time, that’s what he felt too. It wasn’t often that Alex questioned her love. But, like that smack earlier. Uncalled for he thought, and a little hard for a comment. It seemed like it was more out of frustration, than a sign to tell him to shut up.



She sighed as she snuggled up to AJ, her thoughts going in many directions, all which she had no control over. She was actual very grateful that her head was on his chest for she couldn’t show him the turmoil that was raging inside. Feelings that she had no right to feel and certainly thinking things that she had no right to be thinking.

She hated doubting Alex, er AJ, and his feelings, but she could openly admit that something had been feeling…off for a bit. In fact, last night was probably the first time that they had made love in over three weeks, and if anyone knows AJ, they would knot that lack of sex is not an easy task. But than again, she was getting off track. She was talking about how he didn't feel the same. She was aware that the fans didn't believe he was a sweet and gentle lover, but he was. And, yes, he had his wild and daring moments, but in all truth, he was a very caring lover. And for some unknown reason, last night, something was different. He was still sweet, but she just didn’t feel like there was the usual connection.

She shifted a little bit and looked up at him, lifting a hand to run along his unshaven cheek. She wanted to believe that whatever was happening was a test. Or perhaps many tests. And she believed with her whole heart that they were, and they had to pass each and everyone, or they would never get married.



He looked down at her and smiled. And not of one of his fake, not really smiling smiles. This smile was the whole reason she fell for him anyway. And with her heart, she returned his grin. She moved herself and straddled his lap, his hands automatically finding their way to her hips.

“What are you thinking?” He smirked a bit as he leaned his head back to watch her.

“Nothing. Can’t I just sit here and admire the man that I’m going to marry?” She leaned over and nipped at his neck, grinning at the half chuckle, have moan that came from him.

“Oh, I suppose I can allow that.” She kissed along his jaw and finally up to his lips, her heart jumping out of her chest at the mere taste of him.

AJ slid his hands up her back, his moan soft and his heart pounding. He knew that he kisses could heat him up, that certainly wasn’t something new. And he knew that she could block out everything else from his mind. And as much as he loved her right now, she wasn’t doing such a great job of blocking out everything. And for that, he could kick his own ass. Damn it, she deserved better than this.

He finally broke the kiss and gazed into those question filled brown eyes. It wasn’t like him to break the kiss. Than again, it was like him to long for another woman’s kiss. No, no, he couldn’t think like that.

And with that final thought, his fingers entangled themselves into her hair and grabbed it, crushing her lips to his. And slowly, a lost more slowly than he was used to, his world involved only them two. No D, no Kris, no longing but for each other. And this time, when he groaned, it was with full of pleasure, full of longing, and full of desire for her, and her alone. His other arm snaked around her waist, his free hand slipping under her t-shirt and scraped his nails along her back. And had it not been for the clearing of a throat, he would have takin her on the couch.

They both pulled apart and he tilted his head back, seeing Howie here his arms crossed and some kind of spark flashing in his eyes.

Chapter 28

“Management just called. We are about ten minutes from the venue, so be ready to jump out and run.” Howie turned and walked away, for some unknown reason, his heart building with anger. Something he should not be feeling. It certainly wasn’t the first time he had seen them kiss, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. But, for this time, it was really bothering him.

“Howie, are you okay?” Howie took the seat at the table again and smiled at Kris.

“Yeah, I am. What game did you wanna play?” She finished shuffling the deck and started passing the cards out, smirking a bit.

“Poker. 5 card stud, threes wild.” Howie picked up the cards, nodding a bit.

“Got it. And what’s the bet?”

“Whoever loses, has to kiss the other person.” Howie watched Kris, unable to hide his grin. He never pegged her as a flirt or such a brave soul. “I never said where the kiss had to be though.” Oh, this was getting even better.

“Deal. So, three’s right?” He picked up the last card, showing a three and giving him three of a kind. “You dealt, I show.” He laid his hand down, frowning at his hand yet turning that into a smile when he saw that she only had a pair. “Aw Kris.” She giggled a little than leaned over and placed her lips right under his ear. Oh, Lord, did she just actually send shivers down his spine?

“You’re deal now latin lover.” For crying out Lord, if that was what she was doing to him every time they kissed, she would lose every game just so he could kiss her. He picked up the deck and shuffled.

“Uh, five card stud, let’s make sevens wild.” He dealt the cards and silently prayed that he had a losing hand. And when he picked up the final card and saw that he got a full house, he almost wanted to scream. Or that was until she put down the royal flush. Crap that done deserved two kisses. He laid his hand down and than leaned over, cupping her chin and softly pressing his lips to hers, feeling even more tingles.

She sighed and rested her hand on his arm, actually getting lost in those amazing lips. What was that thinking about wanting Alex and his lips? No offense to Alex and his kisses, but nothing had ever tasted as good as D’s lips did right now. Nor had anything felt that good either.

Howie finally broke the kiss, sensing that someone was seeing something and grinned at Kris.

“Now, what was that for?”

“Just because.” Kris returned the grin, ignoring the eyes what were currently staring at her.

“I like that just because answer.” Kris giggled a little, finally leaning back in her seat and looking up at Alex. “Hey there, Howie and I were just playing poker. Granted, he was losing.”

“Hey now, don’t lie.” Howie turned and raised a brow at Alex, almost like a silent question, one that Alex was not going to answer or deal with actually.

“Oh, well, don’t tell Resa. You know that she would want to play!”

“Play what?” she asked, squeezing her way out of the room and into the kitchen. “Oh, I see cards! What were you two doing?” She glanced at each person, seeing the slight blush and grinned. “Enough said, actually.”

“Wait, why do you say that baby?”

“They are blushing; both of them. There are cards on the table. Come on hon, it doesn’t take a genius.” She turned and grabbed the bag of chips, looking at everyone. “What? Come on AJ, who do you think showed Kris that game?” She rolled her eyes and than popped a couple of chips in her mouth, than paused as the bus started to slow down. “Bus stop!” She quickly moved out of the way as both AJ and D jumped up and ran to get their bags. Kris looked at Resa and giggled a little, finally getting up and than looking at D as he quickly grabbed her hand tightly.

“Woah D, you don’t need to take me.” Resa looked back at Kris and nodded.

“Oh yes he does! If he doesn’t, you have a very good chance of getting mauled by their fans. And at any cost, stay close to him, or one of the other guys!” Kris nodded and followed the other couple off the bus, pausing for just a moment as she took in the screaming girls.

“Holy cow!” Howie looked at her and grinned.

“It’s a little crazy, huh?” Howie lead her off the bus, smiling at the fans and made his way over to the venue, waving to them as he entered.

“Won’t you stop and talk to them?”

“Later. Usually, when we first get off the bus and stop to talk, we get in way too late. And that is not a good thing.”

“Ah, I can see why.” Howie chuckled a little bit and than lead her to the front seat.

“You can get a stay here with other girls, if you want. Of you can go back to my dressing room? Or J’s?”

“I’ll stay here, watch the show, laugh a bit. Thank you Howie.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek, grinning as he blushed a little, grinned at her than walked back into the back, quickly changing.


A few moments later, he walked back on stage, looking around, groaning as he saw no AJ.

“Check his dressing room man. You know he takes forever.” Howie nodded.

“Thanks Bri.” He ran into the back again and banged on AJ’s door. “Yo, man!” AJ yanked his door open, his eyes flashing with anger as he looked at D. Howie stepped back, wondering where the hell all that anger was coming from. He really didn’t think AJ had a reason to be upset with him. Unless, his feelings were getting even more mixed up over Kris. Not to say that would shock Howie at this point, especially with the way AJ was acting lately. Dipshit and Asshole would be the best way to describe these moods, and to top it off with shit head at this exact moment!

Chapter 29

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” AJ shoved his way past D, unable to explain the anger that was brimming just under the surface.

AJ glanced out at the girls, watching all four of them talking. He really couldn’t explain why he was feeling the way he was. But, when he walked in and saw that rather sweet kiss, his anger just flew through the roof. And he had a feeling that Resa knew it, for he was particularly dragging her off the bus and just about shoved her in the chair. And he wasn’t usually that rough with her.

He sighed, running his hand over his face and than got into position, really doing everything in an automatic mood, really only giving half of himself into the dance steps. He looked over at Kris who was very intent on watching D. He took that moment and glanced at D who was laying on that charm for her. And that just pushed him even more. He purposely made a wrong turn and quickly smacked right into D, who fell right on his ass.

“What the hell is wrong with you AJ?” Howie got up and ran his hand over his butt, dusting it off.

“I’m sorry. I forgot which way to turn. I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s just keep going.” Howie grumbled, wondering if it was worse to by be Nick or AJ at this point. Mentally, AJ applauded himself and got through the next few routines without any incidents.

Yet, that was gone the moment that Howie flashed that charming smile and wink Kris’s way. And to AJ, that was the last straw. He did a quicker than normal turn and left the wrong foot out, watching Howie quickly go down.

“Howie!” Both Resa and Kris jumped up on the stage and ran over to him, both helping him up.

“Are you okay D?”

“Yeah, Resa. I’m fine, just tripped.”

“Yeah, we saw that.” D leaned against Kris who lifted her head to look at AJ. He shook his head and quickly ran back to his dressing room, sneaking out a bottle out of his bag and taking a long drink of the amber liquid. Resa flew in right behind him, her eyes opening wide as she saw him and ran across the room, yanking it out of his hands and flung it across the room. He turned and watched the glass break, the liquid running down the wall.

“What is wrong with you McLean? What the hell is the problem?”

“Nothing, just let it be.”

“Bull shit! I’m your fiancé here. I know something is bothering you and I’m rather upset that you are picking on everyone rather than talk to me. Now, what is wrong?” He turned to look at her and shrugged.

“Why does it matter to you? It doesn’t concern you, you aren’t that important.” Her eyes flashed and before he knew it, her hand had landed on his cheek. And shit did that mother f sting!

“If that’s how you really feel, I have no problem packing my shit and leaving.” With that, she turned on her heal and quickly stormed out of the room, leaving him alone with all those thoughts just running through his mind. And he knew that he had really screwed things up. He loved Resa, but just the thought of D and Kris was really making his stomach churn. Now he knew that he had to figure out a way to explain, to some degree, how he was felling. Lord, that wouldn’t be easy.

He ran out of the room, shoving Nick aside and saw Theresa exit the back of the building, without a guard. Crap, the fans would eat her alive! He ran up behind you and yanked her arm, spinning her around.

“You know better than that.” She glared at him and tired to get her arm back.

“Let me go, AJ.” Resa’s voice was a quite whisper that he had never heard before. And he was about to let her go when D stalked over to him, yanking him back and than let his fist fly, landing square right on AJ’s jaw.

AJ stumbled back, holding onto his jaw, his brown eyes quickly flashing with anger. How dare that stupid little man try and pick a fight. AJ could easily whoop his ass. And they both knew it! This certainly wasn’t the first time they got into a fight. But this could be he worse, for they knew why they were fighting. Sorta hard to say that the reason behind it was because of the brunette chick, but rather the blonde chick, as in Kris.

AJ ran over, shoving his shoulder into D’s something, pushing him into the wall. D let out a whosh of air, groaning a bit, a pain shooting up from his lower back. But he quickly got even as he slammed his elbow right into the middle of AJ’s back. AJ quickly let D go, holding onto his back as he backed away a step. And he was about to attack again when both Nick and Resa grabbed his arm.

“Stop it McLean.” He turned his head and looked at his fiancé, finally shrugging their hands off of him.

“I need to breathe.”

“You need a lot of things, Alexander.” He paused and slowly turned to look at her, taking in the crossed arms, the lifted brow, and the pushed out hip. To anyone else, she would look pissed. But her eyes were a dead give away to the hurt that was raging inside of her. She might not be super smart, but she wasn’t a fool. She knew him only too well, and that did scare him.

-----
She helped Howie to his dressing room, putting an ice pack on his ribs.

“I’m sorry guys. I don’t know what just came over AJ!” Resa looked at both D and Kris, feeling horrible for this, even though she didn’t do anything. And in fact, she wasn’t quite positive that the fight those two had, had anything to do with her.

“Don’t be Resa. You know AJ has his moods.” She looked at D.

“This was more than that. Something was, is, up with him. And I am going to figure out what’s going on.” Howie grabbed her hand as she turned to leave; not knowing what J could, or would, tell her. And the last thing he wanted was for her to get hurt.

“Just let it go. We are okay.”

“No D. I’m done with this crap.” She smiled at him, gently removed her hand from his and left the room, in search of AJ. She finally found him, sitting on the stairs outside, smoking. She sighed and sat down next to him.

“Hey.” He didn’t need to even look up. The tingles he felt at her presence was all he needed to know that the person at his side was his fiancé, if she still called herself that.

“Hey.” She linked her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. “How’s your jaw?”

“Hurting. That man maybe small, but he sure knows how to punch.”

“You can’t blame him. You really did tick him off. And why? What was that?” AJ sighed, snuffed out his cigarette and glanced at her.

“I know you think it maybe odd, but I don’t want D and her together.” At that, Resa wrinkled her brow.

“That may be, but it’s not your choice. They seem happy and as their friend, you need to support them.”

“I know.” He paused, having thought this out to well. “And I think this is only a rebound relationship for Howie.”

Chapter 30

Resa just stared at him, blinked a few times, not buying that at all. For one, Howie wasn’t like that; using women was not in his make up. And two, AJ would not have gotten THAT upset over something like that. But she knew that she would not be getting anymore from him. He already had that face up of ‘don’t ask, won’t tell’. And that was a side of him she hated.

She sighed, shrugged her shoulders and stood up. She wasn’t going to deal with him. She had other problems and other solutions. If he wanted to be an ass, that was on him. She didn’t have to deal with it, in fact, she wouldn’t. Take that AJ. She turned and walked in, in search of the blonde hair heart throb of the group. She had a mission and tonight, she needed his help.

-----
Kris wrinkled her brow as Howie lifted his shirt up slightly, seeing a bruise form, both on his stomach and on his back. Damn AJ and his quick temper.

“It amazes me, from time to time, how anyone can manage a friendship, let alone a relationship, with that man.” Howie grinned in the mirror at her and turned around, lowering his shirt.

“It’s not always easy. But the way I get along with him is the same way I get along with my real brother. Being around AJ, you learn his moods, his attitude. Usually when he’s that pissy, I stay clear. We all do. The only brave one to venture close to him is Resa. She has…a soothing effect on that mood. At least most of the time.”

“That doesn’t make up for it, you know.”

“Oh, I know. But we all go through those stages. There’s times when it’s best to leave me alone too. I guess, though, wanting revenge and beating the shit out of him ruled over my common sense to leave him alone.” He strolled over to the couch and sat down next to her, half wanting to know if she knew that their little fight was over her. It was obvious Resa had a thought. And Kris was too much like Resa not to know. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Just forget about it. I’m not made of glass and neither is he. It’s not the first time we swung punches at each other. And I have a feeling; it certainly won’t be our last either.” She slowly turned her head and looked at him, a smile coming to her lips.

“Were you protecting my honor?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I’ve known Alex for way too many years. That man…can get a little defensive over me. When we were younger, he beat up this little scrawny boy because he tried to kiss me. Alex screamed at him that I belonged to Alex and no one else. This wasn’t true because we weren’t dating, merely best friends. So, were you protecting me because AJ didn’t like the fact that we were dating? Or seeing each other?” Howie twisted his lip. On some level, that was the case. Howie knew it wasn’t because of that per say, but rather the fact that AJ didn’t like the fact that Howie was making moves on the one chick he really liked. Not like that was Howie’s problem! AJ just wanted to be a two timing cheating bastard and Howie wasn’t going to let him. He had his choice, now he had to stick with it.

“Well, put like that, I guess. Alex is engaged to a wonderful woman and yet he’s…”

“He’s Alex. I know he loves Resa; I wouldn’t want him to walk away from her. They belong with each other. And that’s okay, I’m okay with it. I did my crime; I can’t change it, neither can he. But that doesn’t give him the right to be an ass and try to break up another relationship.”

“Another relationship?” Howie’s eyebrow lifted at that. He wanted to redirect this conversation. He didn’t want to remember the island and what had transpired. That…it was better to forget it. At least it was for him. As for his brother, that was a whole other story and one AJ had to learn to deal with or contend with. But he would be damned if he was going to let AJ go on being an ass just because Howie was interested in Kris.

“Yes. The one that’s forming right here…between us.” Kris smiled at Howie and slowly leaned over, gently placing her lips against his, unable to fight the slight tingle that raced down her spine and made her heart catch a beat. Mentally, they both blocked out AJ and Resa and their problems. As of right now, the only two that mattered was them and that’s all. Howie wrapped an around her waist, pulling her a little bit closer, his mind swirling with feelings for her. And as quickly as the kiss began, it ended, with the door flying open, and Nick standing right there, a smirk on his face.

“Baylee is out on stage man. If you hadn’t heard the call, which I’m guessing you didn’t. Let’s go.” Kris stood up, waved to Howie and smirked.

“I’m gonna go get my seat. Front row. Make sure I get a wave or something.” With that, Kris walked out, leaving Howie alone to think about that and grinning.

She walked all over, finally spotting blondie and ran over to him, grabbing his arm.

“Before you go out there, I need to talk to you.”

“What about Resa?”

“You said you were into the Tarot cards and everything right? That you knew how to read them?”

“Yeah. A secret of mine, but yeah, I did. Why?”

“I think it’s time I did a reading. That fight between Howie and AJ goes a lot deeper than what either one of them is saying. I just need my questions answered.” Nick’s brow wrinkled, his heart going out to Resa. He knew what AJ had done, all of the guys did. And he knew AJ, knew Howie, knew that some one was bound to get hurt. And honestly, he just didn’t want that to happen, but at this point, it was unavoidable.

“Sure. Um, I can do it after the after party tonight. You are going, right?” She twisted her lip and shrugged.

“I wasn’t planning on it, but yeah, I think I had better.”

“Great. We won’t be long, we can sneak out early or something.”

“Thanks Nick, you’re the best.” She stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, her heart lifting a bit. Perhaps it was time to find out some truthful answers. The problem was, could she forgive and forget if she didn’t like the answers that would be popping up?

Chapter 31

“What made you choose tonight to come?” AJ tugged down his shirt and glanced at her as she slipped on some earrings than her heels. She was the one who avoided the after parties. And it wasn’t that she didn’t like to party it up, she just hated being around all the screaming fans all the time.

And it wasn’t like he could blame her. He loved his job, loved to sing, to dance, to perform, but the screaming, the screaming was a factor that he would rather do without. And to be hounded. Granted, what man in his right mind wouldn’t love to have tons of girls throwing themselves at him? None. So, he did like it, but after 18 years, it does get rather old.

“Nick begged me to come.”

“So you go when Nick begs but you won’t go when I beg?” She turned around and just looked at him, her left brow raising up and her right hip sticking out.

“Excuse me, Mr McLean, when is the last time you asked me to go to an after party?” He twisted his lip as he thought that over. In all truth, he really didn’t beg, okay, in fact, he really didn’t ask. And again, it wasn't because he didn’t want her there, he did. But he just knew her too well. Knew she wouldn’t want to go, wouldn’t want to be around all that, so why bother asking?

“True. I just never saw the point. You hate going to them so why even ask?”

“Because it’s the nice thing to do. Because, as your fiancé, I should be supporting you.” He rolled his eyes and walked over to her, pulling her in his arms.

“You always support me. And you are always welcome to come. I shouldn’t have to invite you.”

“AJ, do you still ask me out on dates?”

“Yes. I asked you go out tomorrow night, even though you are mine.”

“If you still ask me to out on dates, what makes you think that you shouldn’t ask me to a party? To a concert? Out on tour? You don’t assume I’m going, but you still ask.”

“Fine, fine, you’re right baby. I should ask. I just know…”

“I know you know. And you are right, I don’t like going. But every once in a while, it would be nice. I do enjoy dancing with you. And I laugh my ass off at the fans who can’t seem to talk around you guys. Hell, it’s just amazing to me. Such down to earth men have that effect on woman. It’s funny.”

“Actually, I do have to agree with you. I mean, I remember when we first started meeting some of the big names, I was stuttering, so I can understand them. But at the same time, it’s like you said, we are down to earth. So, you ready to party baby?”

“Yup, got my dancing shoes on and ready to tear it up.” She grabbed her pass and her key card than linked her arm through his, heading down with the rest of the guys and security.

-----
He finished off his third coke and looked around, seeing the many fans who were there just staring at him or the other guys, trying to take pictures. Nick was up at the DJ booth, spinning a couple tracks off his album and he felt someone touch his arm.

“Whatcha thinking about?” He leaned his head to the left slightly, smiling a bit at the fans before answering the question.

“The fans actually. They just amaze me. We honestly do have the best fans around. I mean, these fans follow us, go to three, five, ten shows. They travel, they spend, and spend, and SPEND…on us. It just blows my mind.” He finally turned and looked at her. “Why?”

“You seem lost in thought is all. Resa is up at the booth with Nick, whispering about what songs he should play. She’s trying to get him to play a clip it off D’s album. But Nick ain’t buying that.”

“He should. Howie has some hot beats on the album.” Kris nodded and leaned against the railing, waving to the fans.

“Would you go down and mingle?”

“Sure, if I didn’t get mobbed first. I made that mistake once. Almost lost my damn arm. I did lose an earring. Damn thing hurt when they snagged it out.” Kris turned to look over her shoulder, laughing at him.

“What’s so funny?” They both turned as Resa and Howie walked up, holding out more drinks.

“I was telling them about the time I made the mistake of going out into the fans and getting mobbed.”

“Ah, that’s right. Isn’t that where you got that mean cut on you’re arm from too?”

“Yup. The fans are vicious. We love them, but dang, sometimes it smarter just to stay away from them.” Resa sat down next to AJ and placed her arm on the back of her chair, shaking her head.

“Sure, you might say that NOW but I’ve heard enough talk to know that you wish you could be there, partying it up with them all.”

“We do. It would be awesome. They would just kill us though.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. This was true and she knew it. AJ was right, God bless them crazy fans. She leaned her head on his shoulder, just enjoying the music.

“Wanna dance?” She quickly lifted her head. AJ hadn’t asked her to dance in quite a while. So, she quickly uncurled her legs, slipped her shoes back on and stood up, waiting for him to lead her out to the VIP dance area. AJ wrapped his arms around her waist as he turned her around, pressing her back against his chest. His hips moved to the beat with hers and he was thoroughly enjoying it. Although, holding her like this did bring back some memories of all too recent trip to another state.

With that though, his eyes flew open and he looked up, his eyes finding and focusing on Kris, who seemed to be having a rather intense conversation with Howie. Without thinking, he tightened his hold on Resa’s waist and actually heard her squeal a bit and turned to look at him.

“Are you okay? You never hold me that tightly.”

“I’m fine. I was just thinking, I’m sorry.” He pulled her back in his arms, looking at Kris who was finally looking at him, one brow raised in a challenge but her blue eyes were burning brightly and he knew what she was thinking.

Chapter 32

Kris just watched, rather in shock by how well she could remember how he felt pressed against her and turned back to Howie. He turned at the same time, his brows crinkling a bit.

“What is it?”

“You wanna dance?” Howie looked out at the floor, sat his drink down on the nearby table and took her hand, the silent answer to her question, leading her on the floor. “I’m guessing that was a yes.”

“You should know. Howie D just loves to dance.” She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands settled on her hips. She kept her eyes on his, having to admit that he could really move them hips. And he was actually pretty good at it. “What are you thinking?” She grinned at him.

“The fact that you can really move them Latin hips.” He chuckled and actually pulled her closer.

“Are you just now noticing or are you just now commenting?” She shrugged her shoulders a bit and grinned.

“I’m not the world’s biggest D fan, but I can admit that those hips do move rather well. So, I’m guessing that this would be the first time I said anything to anyone.” He just wiggled his brows and than dipped her back, causing her to laugh and hold onto his arms. And that actually caught the attention of a few other couples, one very well being AJ and Resa.

Kris looked around as Howie brought her back up and squeezed her hips. She slide her hands up his arms and wrapped them around his neck, once again, finding the rhythm along with him.

“That caused everyone to look at us Mr. Dorough.” This time, it was his turn to shrug.

“I’m a Backstreet Boys, are you thinking I’m not used to people looking, staring, or gawking?”

“You might be, but I’m not.” Howie glanced around, seeing both AJ and Resa looking at them and than looked at Kris.

“Sweetie, you are best friends with the Boys. And you are dating one. You might want to get used to people straight up looking at you.” Kris wanted to say something, anything, but she knew he was right. She had noticed that a few fans were already staring at her and some had tried to talk to her. It was actually kinda funny. Get with in ten feet of the guys and the fans would flock to you, thinking you knew them and could help the fans get to the guys.

“I just don’t get how you can do it.” Kris actually knew what was bothering her. It wasn’t the stares that she was getting from the fans but rather from two certain people. Howie looked around to see what was actually bothering her and spotted the problem almost right away. Though he had to question why Resa was openly glaring as well. She, herself, was pressed back against AJ. But he mentally shrugged it off. He wasn’t gonna worry about them right now. He was just going to enjoy this gorgeous woman in his arms.

“You know what sweetie, just honestly ignore them. They have their own problems.” Howie whispered that in her ear as he brought her even closer to him. She had to smirk, for she could feel those very powerful thighs pressed against hers.

“I think you have the right idea Howie.”

-----
AJ gritted his teeth even more, and tightened his grip on Resa’s hips, jerking her right against him. She yelped a bit but turned around in his arms.

“Honey, are you trying to have a contest with your boy over there?” That snapped his attention back to hers and smirked, dipping her back and lifted her thigh against his. He could get even, this he knew, hell he had to. He looked up from Resa and risked a glance over at Howie and Kris, almost lifting a brow as both of them stared then quickly looked away. AJ smiled to himself and pulled Resa close, starting to nuzzle her neck. He was getting even and that was actually damn funny to him. She closed her eyes before pulling away slightly. He looked into her eyes and shrugged. “Oh no mister, answer the question. Are you having a contest with Howie that I don’t know about?”

“No. Not a verbal one anyways.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“So…does it bother you if there was a contest?” She stopped dancing and narrowed her eyes at him. Damn she hated how she got treated.

“Want an honest answer McLean?”

“Yeah would be nice.”

“Than yes, it does bother me. Why the hell do you have to show him up? It’s just a dance. One you are having with your fiancé and one he is having with his girlfriend. Why the hell does that require a contest?” She planted her hands on her hips. He could feel the anger coming from her and he was grateful that she at least kept her voice quiet enough that the fans weren’t staring at her and him.

“It doesn’t so to speak. But you know D and I are always like that.”

“No, AJ, you aren’t. But it does seem to be happening a lot now that my best friend has come into the picture.” With that, she turned right around, walked back to the table and picked up her purse, not looking at him. She was tired of all of this. She knew that something was going on, something that no one was telling her. And honestly, that hurt. These were her friends, and yet they were covering for him.

Which only meant that their boy meant more to them than she did. Which was fine, she had known that for a while. She looked up, catching Nick’s eye and nodded her head. He nodded his in answer to the unasked question and she flew out the back door, leaving everyone behind. And depending on the answers she got later, that would be the final outcome of everything, period!

Chapter 33

Howie watched the scene and stopped dancing, his eyes turning to AJ, watching as AJ just kicked the floor than walked over to the couch, plopping down. Kris looked up at Howie as well.

“What’s wrong?”

“Resa and AJ just had another spat and she flew out the back door, without security. Grab Q and follow her. I’m gonna talk to AJ.” Howie kissed her cheek and let her go, making sure she did as he asked than walked over to AJ, sitting down next to him.

“Hey.”

“Shut up Dorough.” Howie just lifted a brow, rather curious as to why AJ was getting pissy at him.

“Hey man, I didn’t do anything.”

“Like hell you didn’t. You knew what you were doing when you walked out on the floor.”

“Chill. Kris asked me to dance.” Howie tilted his head to the side and looked at AJ. “Man, do you really have feelings for Kris?”

“No.” AJ looked at Howie from the corner of his eye and sighed. “I shouldn’t.”

“Shouldn’t isn’t working into the equation now is it?”

“No, it’s not. And no, I don’t have feelings for her.”

“Like hell you don’t.” AJ rubbed his face and shook his head.

“I guess a simple dance turned into a competition and she figured that out.” Howie nodded his head, having to agree that he did try to get a rise out of AJ.

“I think any female in their right mind would be upset.”

“It was stupid.”

“Yes it was. Is it gonna stop?” AJ paused, looked out on the empty dance floor than out towards the fans, collecting his thoughts.

“Do you really like Kris?”

“Yeah, I do. She’s an awesome woman. Fun loving, smart, caring, funny, and beautiful. What man in his right mind wouldn’t want to have a woman like that on his arm?” AJ mentally sighed, having to agree with Howie on that case. Granted, the flip side to all of that, Resa was the same thing. In fact, in many ways, Resa was simply a female version of AJ. And he was lucky to have her on his arm, he knew that.

So why the hell couldn’t he stomach the thought of seeing Kris and Howie together. If they were both happy, isn’t that what should be important? Shouldn’t he step back, save his own relationship and allow his two best friends to have a healthy and wonderful relationship? Screw the fact that he had her first.

Although, in the physical sense was all he was he could afford, because he still had a woman. So, it wasn’t like he was ending that relationship to follow Kris.

“You are right Howie; Kris is all of those things.” AJ finally turned and smiled at Howie. “You two are right for each other. And honestly, if you care for her, and she cares for you, than no more little snide remarks, comments, or actions from me.” Howie just looked at his best friend. For AJ to give in, for him to say that, either he was telling the truth, which Howie doubted, or he had something up his sleeve. Either way, Howie had a gut feeling that AJ wasn’t going to end things that simply.

“Thank you. It’s nice to have a real woman. Not some fake one like my ex. I know Kris would be loving and supportive.” Howie stood up, stretched and grinned at AJ. “And now, my lame ass is heading out of here. You and Nick gonna stay up?” AJ looked around, seeing that Brian and LeighAnne had already left as well.

“Nah, I think the fans are starting to jet, so I might follow you in a bit.” Howie nodded than waved to him and to Nick, before heading out. AJ watched him, feeling a presence behind him. “What do you want Nick?”

“What’s up man?” Nick took the spot that Howie just had and AJ just looked at him. “I’m not that dumb kid man. I watched you play Theresa just like D played Kris. Is there some war you have with Howie?”

“No, not with Howie.” Nick slowly smirked.

“Just with Howie over Kris. She is fine.” AJ ground his teeth, not needing to hear that a second time tonight. “Than again, so is Resa. In fact, that little number she was wearing….” This time, AJ fully growled and turned to the younger man, his eyes narrowing on him. And in return, Nick only beamed at AJ. “It’s nice to know that you don’t like it when other men check out your fiancé.”

“She is mine.”

“Than show it. Lately, things seem to be happening over Kris, who is not your fiancé. You want Resa; you love her, than man up about it. Either that, or some fool is gonna step up and snag her. Kris seems to be happy with the little man, than let her be. You don’t need to be trying to juggle two women.” Damn, Nick wasn’t a kid anymore. If he was astute enough to realize something was up, than how possible was it that Resa would know. “She’s in her room. She asked earlier if she could come over and we could talk. Do I go back to my room and tell her no?”

“Nick, I hate you.” Nick cracked up as he stood up along with AJ.

“I know you do. Now, go to her, or I’m gonna be that fool and snag her.” AJ gave Nick a quick hug than followed him and his security team out back, quickly making it back to the hotel.

-----
“You ran off.” Resa tapped her foot on the floor, looking up at the stars and merely nodded her head.

“You didn’t have to come after me.”

“Yeah I did. I saw it. Was worried.”

“You didn’t see a damn thing. You got told and than came after me.” Resa turned and smiled at Kris who sat down next to her.

“Fine, so I was eyeing the man I was dancing with, ain’t nothing wrong with that.” Resa chuckled and turned her attention back to the stars.

“The very first date we went on, was in his backyard. He had set out a blanket, a bottle of cider, and some fruit trays. We watched the sun set, watched the stars come out, than finally watched the sunrise. AJ and I had talked for like 11 hours. And just random things, I mean, stupid things and serious things and funny things. Our kiss goodnight…was nothing more than a peck on each cheek along with a promise for a second date.” Resa sighed and finally closed her eyes. “I can’t watch a star come out without thinking about him and how much I love him. And I used to believe in our love, used to think that he really did love him. That I was honestly his everything like he claimed.”

“What changed?” Resa opened her eyes and turned to fully look at Kris.

“A vacation.” She paused and Kris swallowed hard. “And you.”

Chapter 34

“Things happen for a reason, I know this. And I didn’t think my relationship with the soon to be husband would ever get tested, I mean seriously tested. But he comes back home to me with hickeys on his neck. And than you come around and he’s jumpy and crazy…and I can’t even describe it. He’s doing things I never thought he would do and saying things I’ve never heard. And than I realize, you have Alex.”

“Resa, I don’t…” She held up her hand for Kris to stop.

“You do. Alex is a side of him that not many people see. And that even fewer get to experience. Alex hasn’t come out for me. I have AJ, I will always have AJ. But…can he stay happy in a relationship where he’s AJ?” Resa stood up, offering Kris a small smile. “You are his best friend. I know some things, for he did share. And I’m happy to call you my best friend too.” She licked her lips, her mind just tumbling around with so many thoughts. “But I’m not a fool. Something major happened in Hawaii with you two. And either this…thing between you two will end, or I go home alone.” With that, Resa quickly walked away, leaving Kris alone. Which, was not good. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. Okay, maybe she did make plans to try and steal the groom away, but God, not at the risk of hurting her best friend. Resa was in love with AJ, and Kris, no matter how much she loved Alex, just couldn’t betray her friend like that.

And than there was Howie. Kris could admit she was feeling something for him. He was so sweet and he did seem to care about her. And he was a decent man, something she hadn’t had in a long time, if ever. Sure, there was Alex, but things soon fell away there. And than to top it off, he flippin cheated on Resa, knowing that. At least Kris wasn’t aware he was engaged at the moment she slept with him. Okay, maybe deep down she knew he was with someone, but that was the extent of it, honestly. It wasn’t like she kept tabs on his relationship status. She just knew about his career and that was it.

Kris sighed and flopped back on the chair, starring up at the sky. This was a lot harder than it should have been. She wasn’t quite expecting AJ to love the woman…her best friend. She groaned and threw her arm over her eyes, not wanting to think about what Resa had said. Thanks to that, Kris wasn’t positive she could enjoy a starry night again. Damn it! This was so hard. Why the hell did she have to feel anything for that asshole anyways?

“Penny for your thoughts?” Kris moved her arm and lifted her head a bit, seeing Brian standing there, smiling a bit.

“Well, hello to you.”

“Hi. I’m not intruding am I?”

“Nope. Just got done talking to Resa and was enjoying the night.” Brian nodded and took the spot next to her.

“And thinking, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah.”

“About two certain members of the Backstreet Boys who shall remain nameless?” Kris sat up and turned to look at Brian.

“Not two. Just one.”

“Ah, AJ.”

“Is it that obvious Brian?”

“That you have some sort of feelings for him like he does for you? Kinda. I mean, when you first started hanging around, there was a look in your eye, but it’s slowly leaving. I’m not sure if it’s because of Howie or because you realize just how close AJ and Resa are.”

“I love Resa, she’s my best friend. In so many ways, we are so a like and so close. But at the same time, I’m jealous of her. Alex has always had my heart, but than, she has him.”

“Kris, between you and me, did you come on this tour, come out with your friends, because you had hopes of trying to ruin a relationship?” Kris twisted her lip and played with her skirt, not wanting to look at him. How the hell was Brian so damn insightful! Really? He had to peg her right off the back like that?

“Kinda, sorta, maybe…fine, yes. I wanted Alex and I was determined to break up the relationship. But I see the love in her eyes, the passion in his, and I know that I just can’t do it. I want them happy, and if being happy means they are with each other, than as their best friends, I need to step back and just let them be happy.”

“That would be very true. I’ve seen things in AJ, changes in him, since Resa has come into his life. He smiles more, his a lot more carefree. But to be honest, he’s even more different with you. His eyes light up when he smiles, his laugh is more from the heart. I’m not telling you what to do. I’m not suggesting you break up the relationship or not. But I am giving you the advice of not to string on two men. Howie is a great guy and any girl is lucky to have him. But he just got out of a relationship where he got hurt and burned really bad and I’d rather not see that happy again. Currently Kris, you are string on two men. You are giving just a sliver of hope to AJ that there could be something there. If there isn’t, if you are dead set against hurting Resa, or possibly them both, than you need to be forward with AJ. Tell him all of these little games and snide remarks or whatever just needs to stop. You are with Howie and he is with Resa.” Kris thought that over and couldn’t agree more. She had told AJ that, but she sure wasn’t making quite the stand that she needed to about it either. She leaned over and gave Brian a hug.

“Thanks Bri! You are so very right and that’s not really something I thought of.”

“Eh, I know. I’m the smart one in the group.” Kris chuckled and got up, waving to LeighAnne as she walked outside and than turned the corner, her eyes quickly spotting both Resa and AJ.

Chapter 35

He finally made his way back to the hotel, giving Nick another hug as the blonde hair man turned to go into his room. AJ had wanted to stop Resa from going to talk to Nick, but when he went to their room, he found it empty. He had done a quick search and at least realized that she hadn’t left him. All her stuff was still there. Including her purse, which means she did come back to the room to drop it off.

He had sat down on the bed for a few minutes, trying to think of any places that she would go. The bar was downstairs and that might be a location, but he kinda doubted it since she just came back from one. He finally got up and made his way downstairs, aimlessly wandering around, trying to figure out where she was. He had turned the corner almost knocked her down.

“Hey there, kinda in a hurry aren’t you AJ?” He smiled a bit and nodded.

“I was. I was on my way to find you.” Her lovely brows crinkled and he couldn’t stop the smile from growing. She was so beautiful and it amazed him just how many times she would deny that.

“To find me? Why?”

“Because, I wanted to talk to you.” Her eyes flew to the floor and at once, his heart squeezed. He knew her look of defeat, her look of hurt and anger. And this was all of it rolled into one. Her gaze would be on the floor, her shoulders would drop, and her whole demeanor would change, just like it did.

“Talk about what, exactly?”

“Talk about the fact that you have a stupid asshole for a boyfriend, for a fiancé. And I think you deserve better than that.” She swallowed hard and started fiddling with her hands. He shook his head and quickly grabbed them within his. “I’m talking about me. You deserve better from me. I love you Theresa, and when I asked you to marry me, I meant it. I want you to be my wife; I want to have our lives ahead of us. I want us to have kids and grand kids and God help us, great grand kids. The way I have acted has been inexcusable but I will try and make it up to you. Kris is my best friend, will always be, but she’s not the one I want as my wife. Ever!” Resa looked up, her eyes looking deep within his and she slowly started to smile.

“You mean that AJ? That you want me and no one else?”

“Kris is beautiful and yes, we might have a past, but Nick was talking about how good you looked tonight and I wanted to beat him into a bloody pulp. I seem to have a serious problem with men wanting my fiancé.” She giggled and her hands went to my stomach, resting them there.

“You are right, I do deserve better. Just like I deserve the truth.” Once more, her eyes caught his, but he just didn’t have to heart to hurt her with the truth. Those words would kill her and that, that was something he couldn’t, wouldn’t do. If God allowed it, he would take that truth with him to the grave. And he was praying all the more that his friends kept their mouths shut too.

“You have it baby. I have told you everything.” She gritted her teeth for a moment before sliding her hands up his chest and around his neck, resting her head against his chest. Crap, maybe taking it to the grave was an option he didn’t have. She wasn’t buying that story. And in all honesty here, he knew she wasn’t dumb. That by his actions and deeds, and his very words, she was going to start putting two and two together. Actually, kinda surprising that she hadn’t started doing that. Than again, just because she didn’t voice it, didn’t mean she didn’t suspect, or think about it.

He sighed, wrapped his arms around her, kissed the top of her head and than rested his head on hers, slowly swaying. She fit so right against him, just like he was made for her and she was made for him. Maybe they were soul mates, like he wanted to believe. His eyes looked around and landed on Kris who had stopped. He swallowed hard, let go of Resa and stepped back.

“What is it AJ?”

“Nothing honey. I just think we should up to the room is all.” He gave Kris one last look before glancing down at Resa and smiled at her. She smiled back, keeping her arm around his waist and walked over to the elevators.

-----
Kris let out a breath and sagged against the wall, her eyes closing.

“Not an easy scene to digest huh?” Kris mentally sighed than opened her eyes to smile at Howie.

“In particular, no. But how can I be upset when I have this gorgeous creature before me?” Howie chuckled and held his hand out to her.

“How about we go up to my room and just talk? Maybe get to know each other a bit more?”

“I like that Howie, a lot.” She took his hand and started towards the other elevator. He held it open for her as she stepped in and stepped out. She turned to the right, almost knocking into the other couple.

“Hey guys.” Kris smiled at Resa and than at AJ.

“Hey Resa. Hey Alex. Howie and I were going to go to his room and talk, so don’t worry about me. If I get sleepy, I’ll just crash on his couch or something.”

“Well, Howie wouldn’t allow that, but I understand.” Resa gave Kris a quick hug than watched the couple as they walked away, seeing a glint in Howie’s eyes that had never been there before, and unable to squash the disappointment that it wasn’t her that had put it there. Wait, what, no, she wasn’t thinking that. Not possible…NOT POSSIBLE! Yet, as she watched the retreating back, she knew the truth for what it was and sighed, thinking she really could just be the biggest fool all around.

Chapter 36

She sat on the bus, two weeks later, swinging her leg back and forth, her laptop open, but her eyes looking out the window. She had been watching some videos from some of the after parties. Not that she attended anymore, but the three of them had. And it was about time she changed that. AJ had said he wanted her, Resa, and Resa alone, but yet again, that wasn’t happening.

It was also killing her because she had tried to set a lunch date up with Denise, for she wanted to talk about some ideas, and yet Denise had said she was busy. But, lucky for Resa, Kris had left her email open and Resa did a quick glance, seeing an email from Denise. In that, she was almost begging Kris to come over to her house for a meal.

They were stopping in Orlando in two days for a week, it was their first real vacation, and as of now, the only thing Resa knew that was going on, was a huge family BBQ at Nick’s brothers house.

Resa sighed, shut her laptop and curled her legs up. AJ was asleep, Kris was in bed, fighting a cold and Howie, Howie was…currently, she didn’t know. Not that it mattered. She was tired of all of them and was really mulling over the idea of just going home. So lost in thought was she, that she jumped and clutched her chest as someone started to rub her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware you were in such deep thought.”

“It’s okay Howie. I just, was thinking over things. Thought you were busy?”

“I was. Talking to my mom about a few things.” He took the seat by her feet and looked at her, waiting for her to talk. When she didn’t, he grabbed one of her feet and started to massage them.

“Is that a trick or something?”

“What do you mean?”

“When I never talk, you start to massage. Why?” He grinned and winked.

“Because it relaxes you enough to open up.” Ah, Mr Howie D was very conniving. She watched him for a few moments before pulling her feet back, which caused Howie to frown. “What? You don’t like that?”

“It’s not that. AJ just always tells me I have ugly feet. That’s why he never touches them.” Howie snapped his brows together.

“Are you serious? Damn that man has more issues than I thought.” Resa rolled her eyes at him. “I’m serious. I don’t have that problem though. So, let me have that foot back.” Howie reached over and grabbed it. “Now, Theresa, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I’m leaving.” Resa paused, not even aware that she had decided that but knew that was the best choice for her.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m leaving the tour. I don’t wanna stay. To be honest, this crap ain’t good for me. The lying, the stupid ness.”

“What lying?”

“AJ is claiming that he wants me and only me. That I’m his true love and yet, I see the videos the fans are posting.” Resa sighed and closed her eyes, her heart clenching.

“Theresa, you can’t leave. I need you here.” Howie stopped massaging her feet, not knowing why that bothered him so much.

“Why in the world would you need me? You have your friends, your fans, and now your girlfriend. As it goes, I really think that I get in the way. So, it’s fine. Maybe that will be the saving grace that I need to clear my head.” Howie just stared at her.

“You’re still questioning everything?”

“Yes and no.” Resa had stayed mum about what she had found out in those cards with Nick. Did she buy it? At this point in time, yeah; which hurt to no degree. Everyone then would have betrayed her and that’s a thought that she had a hard time with. “Look Howie, I don’t want to talk about it.” With that, Resa stood up and walked over to the fridge, not really wanting anything but just needing to get away.

“Resa, that’s not fair. We all want you here.”

“You do? All of you?” Resa rolled her eyes at that. “I don’t buy it.”

“Why not? Because you see a few videos that the fans post?”

“No. God, I don’t fit in, anywhere. Not with you all, not with AJ, or with his family.” Howie slowly stood up; nodding his head, knowing what was bothering her.

“You know that Kris and Denise are gonna have lunch?” Resa sat down at the table, the tears slowly coming down.

“I had called her, Denise, asking her to do lunch, but she told me she was busy! I didn’t know she was busy with her adoptive daughter until I accidentally peeked at Kris’s email. My soon to be mother-in-law wants nothing to do with me!”

“That’s not true! You know they have a closeness. And Denise hasn’t seen Kris in years. You can’t say she doesn’t want anything to do with you.” Howie sat down and gently took her hand.

“I can.” Resa finally glanced up at him. “Really, who am I kidding? No one really wants me. After all, my own fiancé seems to be questioning everything now and I’m supposed to be the love of his life, right?” Resa snorted at that, slowly seeing the truth and knowing that she wasn’t nearly as perfect for him as Kris was. Or rather, maybe she had seen that for a while, but hadn’t wanted to say it out loud for fear of it being true.

“Theresa!” Howie grabbed both of her hands. “AJ is a fool. Everyone knows this, you included.” He let go of one of her hands and wiped her tears away, his heart breaking for her. Words were becoming hallow and meaningless, and they both knew that. In this case, actions were speaking louder than words. And why that was happening, well, the only person who could answer that was elsewhere. “Besides, if you left, who is gonna help me take care of the guys?”

“You have a girlfriend.” Howie slowly shook his head.

“Kris is great. And I enjoy being with her, but she’s not you. She hasn’t been around us, she doesn’t know us.”

“Whatever Howie. I’m not your mom or your babysitter. You don’t need me.” With that, Resa stood up but Howie was faster. He captured her arms and hauled her against his body; her eyes staring into his for a few moments before his head descended and his lips captured her lips, and then stole her breath away.

Chapter 37

They felt the bus jerk to a stop and broke apart, both of them had wide eyes, but in Resa’s, there was shock. She never thought Howie wanted her like that. They had been friends for so long, actually best friends. But, as she stared into his eyes, she realized that shock wasn’t in his. And that could really only mean a few things. None, of course, that she wanted to dwell on right now. Without thought, Resa grabbed her purse and ran off the bus, not glancing back to see if anyone followed.

After that, she really needed to get away and clear her head. She had told Howie she was leaving, and she really couldn’t think of any good reason to stay. Her mind was actually running over the same things. And…that damn kiss only made things so much worse.

“Theresa!” She swiped at her tears, ignoring the voice behind her. She wanted nothing to do with any of them. She cried out and swung out at the chest that was before her.

“Let me go!”

“No, stop!” His arms encircled her and he pulled her against him. Her anger slowly left, her heart all of a sudden getting poured out and onto his white shirt. “Shhh sweetie.” He ran his hand over her hair, resting his head on hers. He knew she needed this, hell, she needed so much more. And that’s when he knew he had to betray every code of man rule and friendship rule and bro rule; he had to tell her; or that was if she asked.

He, like all the other guys, had been lying to her. It was time, past time, she learned the truth. It didn’t take a mind reader to see what happened on the bus. It was written on D’s face, and by Resa’s action, well, yeah, he guessed. And as she quieted down, he lifted his head; saw the busses were no where in sight and that he had chased her pretty far. He waved Q off and finally glanced down at his friend.

“Thank you.” She pulled back a bit and wiped her eyes, staring at his now brown and black shirt, thanks to her make up.

“No need for thanks. It was crazy to run off like that. You know better than that Resa.”

“I know. But I had to get away. I still do.” He kept his arm around her waist and started walking her down the street.

“I figured that time was coming up.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I’ve been watching you. Your…not the same. I mean from the previous tours. This isn’t the Resa that we all know.” She paused and stared at him, a slow smile creeping up.

“One day Nick, you’re gonna meet the right woman, and she’s gonna tie you down. And you, you’re gonna love it, and her, so much, that you will treat her like the queen she is.” He cracked up at that and took her hand.

“Yeah, well, who’s gonna wanna deal with me and all my issues?”

“Wait, that’s a good point.” He laughed all the more and opened the door to a small little bar for her. “I don’t want to get drunk.”

“Who said anything about getting drunk? You just seem on edge and I thought one drink might help. And besides, you might open up a little to me.” He sat down and glanced at her as she sat down across from him.

“Open up about what?” She glanced up as the waitress walked over. “Um, how about a Jack on the rocks?”

“A Corona for me.” Once she left, Nick looked at Resa. “Jack huh?”

“Let’s just say AJ got me hooked.” Nick nodded, leaning back against the bench back.

“Resa?” She licked her lips and looked up at him. “What do you know about Kris?” Theresa gave a smart ass chuckle at that.

“Honestly, it would appear, not much of anything.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Well, like AJ, excuse me, Alex.” Nick flinched at the biting tone in her voice. “She never once told me that she was friends with him. Even way back when. She has never told me about her near accidents or the times she been in the hospital. She never told me she grew up in Orlando.” Nick nodded his head, rather amazed, for those were some simple facts that he thought best friends should know.

“Was that it?”

“Oh no. I found out a whole lot more crap the day that I had lunch with Denise and her. And that’s part of why I left. That and the fact that I felt very much like a third wheel.”

“I figured. You were gone for quite some time and had quite a few people worried.” She waved it off and shrugged, then took a sip of her drink, her fingers playing with the glass.

“Nick?” He took a swig of his drink, feeling like she was on the brink of asking him.

“Yeah?”

“Did AJ tell you what happened in Hawaii? Better yet, did he tell everyone? Am I the laughing stock of the group because I’m the only one who doesn’t know?”

“First of all, you are not the laughing stock. The only one who we laugh at isAJ.”

“You laugh at him, why?”

“Because of how he is; how much of a fool he is being.” Resa took another sip of her drink.

“You didn’t answer my first question, though.” Nick sighed and took another deep swig and then leaned forward on the table.

“Yes, he did tell us what happened. And yes, everyone knows.” Resa nodded, her stomach twisting at the thoughts rolling through her mind. She had been asking this question plenty of times and yet no one had opened up. Yet, this was different. It really seemed like Nick wanted to open up. So, she took a breath and he could see the question in her eyes.

“Nick, what really happened? And please, don’t you dare bull shit me. I really can’t take that anymore.”

“I wasn’t going to. I’m only sorry that it’s me telling you and not the man that’s your fiancé.” Nick took another breath and finally looked deep into her eyes, his heart breaking for her, and he knew there was no way to sugar coat this or make this easy to hear. “When AJ came back, and we all went to lunch, he told us he was confused. And that he really wanted our advice on this mater. See, he had run into an old friend, his very first love in fact, and some of those old feelings came back.” Nick paused and took her hands, seeing the pain in her eyes, and he hadn’t even gotten to the painful part yet. “What he said next, he made us promise not to tell you, that he would, when he felt he could. He told us that he had slept with Kris and that being with her was feeling like he was home. But no matter what happened, he still loved you.”

“Loved me? No, Alex never loved me.”

“Theresa, that’s not true…”

“No Nick, Alex never loved me. AJ might have loved me, but AJ and Alex are not the same man. Alex has always wanted to be free. And he did find freedom with her and in her arms.” Nick sat back again, finally understanding why this was so confusing for AJ, she was right.

The silence stretched on for a few minutes, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Granted, those thoughts were pretty much the same. Nick finally cleared his throat and Resa took the final swig of her drink.

“I’m gonna leave Nick. I need to think, to clear my head and my heart. I…I don’t know what to do. But I’m begging you; don’t say a word that I know. Or that we talked about this.”

“Where are you going?” Resa got up and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you, for everything.”

“Resa, wait, where are you going?” Nick quickly got up and raced after her, but all he saw was the darkness. He glanced both ways and then shook his head. Resa really wanted no one to know where she was going.

Chapter 38

AJ glanced up as the door to the room opened, almost ready to jump back from Kris but frowning as he saw a rain soaked Nick. But after just a moment, he stood u, his eyes trying to look around Nick.

“Where is she?”

“Gone.”

“Bull shit Carter!” AJ stalked over to Nick and shoved him but Nick grabbed his arms.

“She left AJ!” AJ stopped fighting and then took a step back.

“Where did she go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Nick, don’t you dare lie to me!”

“I’m not AJ! I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me!”

“You talked to her Carter?”

“She needed a friend man. Someone she could confide in, seeing as her fiancé was doing one crappy ass job!” AJ slumped his shoulders, not understanding why his stomach was twisting at the thought of her gone. He knew he loved her, but this feeling wasn’t just that, it was like a relief. And that kind of scared him.

AJ sat down in the nearest chair, his hands running over his legs as he collected his thoughts. This seemed so unlike his Resa. She hardly left without telling him something. But, looking back over everything, he wasn’t sure he had any right to blame her. After all, he was he one who kept hurting her. He glanced up as he felt someone touch his arm and he looked up at Kris.

“Excuse me, I need a smoke.” AJ stood up and left the room. He took out his smokes and quickly lit one as he stepped outside and grabbed his phone, staring at the picture of him and her on his background. He sighed and sent her a text, half praying that she responded. But something within him told him she wouldn’t. If she didn’t tell Nick then she wasn’t going to tell him.

He sat down on the steps, his mind going over everything. Yeah, he flirted a bit with Kris but he hadn’t ignored her. In fact, he hung out with Resa even more, wanting to make sure she knew that she was loved, and wanted. The only time he hadn’t been with her, had been the after parties, but that was her doing, not his. He sighed, running his free hand over his face. Hell, he could be here all night trying to figure out what happened.

Although, she hadn’t left him; she simply left the tour. Ah hell, maybe it was for the better; maybe they did need this time apart to figure where they stood. Then why did his heart hurt?

“AJ?”

“Yeah?” AJ glanced to his right and stared at the man sitting next to him.

“Nick told me about Resa. Are you ok?”

“Honestly D, I don’t know. I don’t even know how this all came to be. I thought things were good.”

“AJ, you have thought that for a while. But it’s not the truth. Look, you can admit, since Kris has come back in the picture, things between you and Resa are on a very bad rock.” AJ nodded his head and then paused.

“You talked to her too?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“What the hell, my fiancé can talk to everyone but me? I thought we were supposed to be supporting each other here?”

“People who live in glass houses, AJ, should not be throwing stones.” AJ hung his head and put out his cigarette, not really having touched it.

“You know, I hate that expression.”

“You hate it cause it applies to you.”

“Whatever. So, what do I do?” Howie shrugged, his mind asking and answering that same question.

“I think that you take this time and really think AJ. Do you really love her enough to marry her or do you love someone else?”

“I don’t want to throw all those years away though.”

“Honestly man, that’s not even important and deep down you know that. If she makes you happy and your heart longs for her, then you keep going and you get married.” AJ just stared out into the darkness, neither one voicing the rest of D’s thought. And AJ knew D was right. Thinking of the time together should not bear factor in how he was currently feeling about their upcoming marriage.

“Oh D, how in the world did I get mixed up in this?” AJ hung his head, feeling D place his hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t really want me to answer that, do you?” AJ had to actually chuckle at that.

“My heart does hurt.”

“I know man. You do love her. She is your Resa, has been for quite a while. But, you do know the difference from being in love with someone and just loving someone.” Howie stood up, glanced at AJ and then left him alone with that thought.

AJ licked his lips and then leaned his elbows back on the steps behind him. Did he really know the difference? He thought he did, he often thought he was in love…no, now he was thinking of lies. He loved Resa dearly and deeply; but he was never in love. He shook his head; another voice that had been quiet for so many years was softly starting to speak up.

And as he thought about it, he really couldn’t believe that thought. How funny did it sound that one guy, with two types of personality’s loved two different women? Now, even for AJ that sounded way beyond horrible. But, it did sorta make sense.

Kris had been around when Alex as all he was. Simple, goofy, dorky, but she loved him. And he loved her. And yet Theresa was that rock side, the tattooed and spoken personality that fit quite perfectly with AJ. And as that thought formed and developed more in his mind, and the more it made sense, the more he realized how that must of hurt Resa. Alex was a side that no one ever saw and yet, Kris was always getting it. If he couldn’t be comfortable with his fiancé enough to show hat very cherished side, what exactly did that mean for their future?

Chapter 39

Kris looked up at Nick after AJ left and then sighed. This whole trip was turning into one huge disaster. She never should have flown out to LA to ever begin with. And now she was going to be alone. Of course, she had the guys but that wasn’t her best friend. And what in the world would make Resa leave? Even more so without telling anyone where she was going? Or was that something that Nick just didn’t feel like he should share with everyone else?

Kris got off the couch and started pacing, ignoring the man who was staring at her. With Resa leaving, that was making Kris feel like shit. In some way, Kris was starting to feel like that because of her, AJ and Resa were splitting up, that it was her, Kris that was destroying this marriage. But, on the flip side of that coin, Kirs was still slightly overjoyed. Sure, her and Howie were growing closer, but her heart did belong to Alex, always would and maybe she was fooling herself if she thought that she wouldn’t try and break up their relationship.

Kris rubbed her face and then sat back down, once more glancing at Nick, who still seemed to be watching her. Finally, she snapped and glared at him. “What Nick?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Are you serious? You’re really asking me that? For crying out loud Nick, my best friend just left the tour. I was here to hang with her and I sure haven’t been. So, why should I stay?” Nick leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs and smiled at her.

“You stay because your AJ’s best friend. You stay because you are friend with the guys. You stay because you are dating Howie. Do you really need more reasons?” Kris opened her mouth to say something and then quickly shut it. He was right after all; she had reasons to stay. But in all truth, was it really even a good idea for her to be alone? Could she stay away from AJ simply because she was seeing Howie? And that mad her sound like such a horrible person.

“You’re right Nick.” Nick smiled and patted her knee.

“You know, I’m not some dumb blonde. If you need to talk Kris, I’m a great listener.” Kris smiled at that. She hadn’t doubted that, since Resa trusted him enough to talk to him.

“Hey Nick?” Nick stopped at the door and turned to glance at her before he opened it.

“Yeah?”

“Where did Resa go?”

“I honestly don’t know. She left before I could catch up to her. But, I would really have to say she didn’t go back home. After the way she talked, I think LA had to many memories and that was hat she was trying to escape.” He shrugged and walked out the door.

-----
Kris went up to her hotel room and laid her bag down, quickly grabbing her phone as she felt it vibrate, thinking it was Resa, but frowning a bit as she saw the text from D. Not that she didn’t want to hear from him per say, she was just more concerned over her friend. Granted, she really didn’t think she would hear from her. She honestly felt that Resa was not about to contact anyone, period. She leaned against the wall as she silently read the message and then she quickly replied and then waited. Within a few moments, he was knocking on her door. She smiled at him as she opened it.

“Hey you,” she said, allowing him to enter.

“Hey Kris.” He kissed her cheek as he walked in. “I was just seeing if you wanted to a grab a bite with me?” Kris checked the time, figured she hadn’t heard anything and nodded.

“Sounds good. Let me grab my purse.” She turned around and went to the table and grabbed it. “Any idea where you wanted to go?”

“This small café down the way. Trust me, it’s private and we won’t be bothered.” That was something that she seemed to be learning. No matter where the guys were, or how private any place was, someone knew them. And gracious that they were, they signed the autographs and took the pictures. And out of all of them, AJ really did have the biggest heart. Sure, they got frustrated when they were interrupted while eating, but AJ, he just smiled and did business as usual. And to her, seeing that only endeared him more. Once more, not a good thing.

-----
She finally sat her menu aside and looked up at Howie. He felt her gaze and looked at her.

“What’s up?”

“I have no clue what to get.” He chuckled a bit and set his menu aside as well.

“Is that what’s really bothering you?” Deep down, Kris really knew the answer, but she could not dare confess that out loud. How could she, when in truth, she was very much confused?”

“Yes. No. Oh hell, I don’t know.” Howie frowned and grabbed her hand, playing with the ring there.

“I’m not a fool Kris. I know you have feelings for AJ. I’m kinda hoping that time away from him, time with me, might help those feelings fade.” Kris swallowed hard at Howie speech. Part of her really wanted to believed that her feelings would fade, that being with Howie would help that all the more. But, another part, the part that loved HIM so deeply and for so long, just didn’t want to let go. “Do you think you can stay away from AJ with Resa gone? After all, it’s not like I can leave.” Kris’s eyes quickly shot to Howie’s. He was right. But, was Howie reason enough for Kris to stay away from AJ? It should damn well better be. But she knew herself, knew AJ, and though she wanted to believe she could stay away, she really knew better.

She licked her lips and finally answered. “I know I should say that I can stay away Howie, but I feel like I’m really lying.”

Chapter 40

She glanced down at her left hand and slipped the ring off and set it back in the box. She glanced up into the mirror and didn’t even recognize herself, her face looked pale and her eyes, which always seemed to have some kind of spark, seemed to be dull and puffy. This was not the Resa she knew.

She sighed, grabbed her key card, her phone and her purse. When she left, she told herself It was needed. She even stopped by the house, picked up a few things and was about to say goodbye, when she finally broke down. She had been betrayed by the man she loved, by the man who claimed to lover her; how do you go on from that kind of hurt and loss?

No man had ever made her feel the way he did. No man had ever treated her the way he did, and in truth, that was in both regards of being bad and good. And she just wasn’t sure that any man could make her feel like that again.

She walked out of her hotel room and down to the beach. She had purchased everything with her own card, for she really didn’t want AJ to track her, or anyone else for that matter. Not that she was certain anyone would. She made a turn to the left and started walking down the boardwalk, always loving the ocean, and this one spot. It was a bit more pricey, but it was very private.

She paused at a stand and looked at the wraps the lady was selling and was about to look at one when her phone went off. She opened the message and frowned.

“Pick the pink one,” she read out loud. She shook her head and thought she sent the wrong message and was about to put her phone away when she got another message, this one making Resa raise her head and look around, wondering where the blonde woman was.

LeighAnne finally stepped out from behind a booth and Resa smiled, glad to have someone to talk to. Leigh walked over and hugged her, smiling as she spoke. “You really should get the pink one and then join me for dinner.”

“I think your right.” Resa quickly purchased it and then linked her arm through LeighAnne’s. “So, how did you find me?”

“I simply remembered when we first meet. You know I was out here alone.”

“Yeah. You never explained why.” LeighAnne paused in her step and turned to face Resa.

“No one knew but me and Brian, why I was out here. And I’m about to share one of my biggest secrets. So, go change and meet me in the lobby.

-----
Half an hour later, Resa sat down across from LeighAnne, smiling at her friend as she saw the amber liquid at her spot.

“You know what I wanted?”

“Let’s just say you might need it hon.” Resa lifted a brow and took a sip of the liquid. Resa glanced around, noticing that they were in a corner and away from the other customers. “I told them I wanted a private area. Every once in a while, it pays to have some extra cash.” Resa laughed at that.

“You are very right about that LeighAnne. So, what exactly brings you out this way?”

“Blunt aren’t you?”

“Come on LeighAnne. You know me better than that, and I know you.” LeighAnne nodded, trying her best to gather her thoughts.

“Nick told us you left, and everyone was watching AJ, seeing how he would react and what he was going. But, two days ago, I watched D and finally talked to him. He told me about the kiss you two shared and said he felt like he drove you off.” Resa blinked a few times, not thinking that D would every say anything.

“That wasn’t all of it, maybe just a small part. It did confuse me, made me run. But all in all, it wasn’t bad. Nick caught up to me and we talked.”

“So he said, but he still hasn’t told anyone what you two talked about.”

“Nor would he. If you make Nick promise something, he’s pretty good at keeping those promises; Nick is one very loyal friend.” LeighAnne actually winced, for after that statement, she was pretty sure of what Resa and Nick had talked about.

“It’s not what you think.”

“It never is. But you know what, its fine. I always knew what would happen. At this point, it really is water under the bridge.”

“I’m sorry Resa.” She waved her hand at LeighAnne.

“Really, it’s okay. Why don’t you tell me why you sought me out though? I pretty much tried to go into hiding.”

“And again, you fooled everyone but me. I didn’t even tell Brian where I was going.”

“But he knew you left.” LeighAnne regarded the woman across from her and rested her arms on the table.

“He does. I told him I was coming to talk to you, that I knew where you were and that out of any of us, I was probably the only one who could help you.”

“Help how?”

“Help you make your choice. Love is a very strong and powerful emotion. And marriage is a huge deal; it’s not something you want to enter lightly in. I know you feel betrayed and really have no idea how or where to start forgiving him. I know all the thoughts you are having and all the feelings that are flowing through you.”

“How in the world would you know anything about…how…I’m feeling?” But Resa had already started answering her own question; for there was no way that she could say that and not have experienced that. But, it couldn’t have been with Brian; he loved her way too much to betray her in such a manner.

LeighAnne watched her face, actually surprised to see how her thoughts and feelings tended to play across her face.

“He did, that’s why I was here, trying to figure out what to do and where to go after I found he had cheated.”

Chapter 41

“LeighAnne…” Resa trailed off, not knowing how or what to say. From what she could tell, Bri and Leigh always had a solid relationship. Sure, they fought, like any married couple, but to actually have someone cheat, Resa just couldn’t grasp that.

“Five years ago, we had a huge problem. You could even say that it was more my fault than his; I don’t lay all the blame at Bri’s feet. After months of Brian’s performing and constantly going on tour time and time again, and leaving me alone, I got tired. I fought so bad with him, we probably fought once a day for almost two weeks straight, over him always putting the music before his family. Looking back, that wasn’t fair in any regard; I have always known how important music and the fans are to Brian, and usually I respect that.

“Maybe it was all the crap I kept hearing from my family that pushed me to the point that I was at. They had pestered me, filled my head with all kinds of thoughts and made me rant and rave at my husband rather than simply talk to him.” She paused and took a sip of her own drink. She had taken a deep breath and stared at the table cloth before once more going on.

“I never let Brian leave for any extended amount of time mad at him, or have him mad at me. Well, I don’t do it period. But, the major blow we had was the night before they left for a tour. I was really hurt and so upset with him that I never tired to fix it before he left. They were gone for two months! And normally Brian and I always talk; this time I could count the number of times we talked on one hand.

“Anyways, he drew back into town, I figured out that I really just had to forgive and accept what was going on. And I knew we had to talk but I also knew that I really couldn’t let my family get so involved. Again, why this time was so different, I never know, can’t even recall. Anyways, I go to pick him up and he is more withdrawn than I had ever seen him, and I tired everything I could think of to get him to talk, nothing worked. And for the first time in all of our marriage, he actually slept in another room.

“The following morning, I came downstairs and saw Brian just looking out the window. To this day, I’m glad I have the foresight to take Bayley elsewhere and let him stay the night, for what followed became our worst, loudest, most hurtful argument. Brian finally turned and I could tell by his eyes that something was on his mind. I sat down and nearly fell off the couch when Brian told me that he had cheated. He explained what happened, that he had got to thinking about our problems and got upset all over again and ran into an old friend. One thing led to another and had a one nighter, Now, we both count our lucky stars that it wasn’t a fan. Could you imagine the rumor mill on that one?

“Needless to say, I blew up. I called him every name I could think of and he actually returned the favor. He even went so far as to say ‘if I wasn’t being such a prissy, stuck up bitch, he wouldn’t have done what he did’. For that, he got a slap. Brian and I have never laid a hand on each other in any manner other than a loving one. But in exchange for that slap, I got a shove. Blue eyes on both of us had turned to ice. And I knew that I couldn’t stay there, no matter what he said. I was too hurt, too confused and I needed to think, I need some place private.”

“Some place like here?” Resa offered, her eyes wide. No one had ever heard about this fight before in the Littrell household; though it wasn’t like Resa blamed them, she would have kept it mum too.

“Exactly. See, I had always loved Brian, and I always would. But I had to think about if all that love was strong enough to conquer the type of hurt both of us was feeling. Was I willing to see my man in another woman’s arms?

“Now, I know our situations are different, for Brian cheated for a whole other reason, but the outcome is still the same. He betrayed me, just like AJ betrayed you. And in the same regards, both used an old friend to cause the pain and both didn’t want it to happen, but it did.”

Resa leaned back in the seat, taking her glass of Jack with her and thought about what Leigh had said. Here was the couple who were so in love and they had overcome a huge problem. “What made you take him back?”

LeighAnne smiled, sipped her drink and simply said, “love.”

“Love?”

“Yes. This was my man. I loved him and was going to be damned if I let anyone but me touch him again. Before I ran into you though, I was already out here for a week, going back and forth. IT wasn’t an easy decision, and it was still a very rocky road, actually, it still is. But in the end, I chose to forgive him and move on.”

Theresa watched as LeighAnne folded her hands and placed them on the table. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute. Yes, she could see the reason LeighAnne stayed, but Resa didn’t have those reasons. Resa shook her head, not even knowing what to say to all of this. This actually confused her all the more, for she was pretty sure that she had planned on leaving AJ. But now this? At least she wasn’t alone with her pain, and for t hat she was grateful.

“LeighAnne, I’m not you. AJ and I don’t have a family or anything.”

“You’re right Resa, you don’t. But you do have a home, a life, and in truth, you two have dogs that are family. You have love as well. Those are things you need to think about as well. And don’t give me that crap about AJ and Alex. The other can grow to love you as well.”

Resa only shook her head, not really thinking that Alex could really ever love her.
“Thank you LeighAnne.” The blonde reached over and squeezed Resa’s hand.

“I’m always here hon. I just hope this helps you.” Resa smiled at her.

“It did. Excuse me. I gotta be alone.”

Chapter 42

AJ stared out the window, barley listening to the chatter of the girls. She had been gone for five days and he could admit that he was in a funk. For the most part, Resa was his better half and he just hadn’t felt like himself. And the rest of the guys certainly knew what was going on, well, how the hell could he really hide his feelings? Though, he did feel like an ass because the person getting the brunt of his emotions was Kris. Not that he wanted to be a dick to her. Yes, everything was his fault, but it was easier for him if he just pushed her away.

He sighed and dropped his head forward, letting it rest against the glass. He could hear his mom and Kris in the kitchen and he could hear them laughing. And in some sense, that brought a twinge to his heart. His mom liked Resa, they h ad fun together, but his mom was not really as carefree with her as she was Kris. Maybe that was part of the hurt that Resa was feeling; he could certainly understand that.

“Honey?” AJ lifted his head and turned to look at his mom.

“Yeah?”

“Can you run to the store? I forgot to pick up some of that special sauce you like.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I’ll be back in a few.” He bent and kissed his moms cheek but paused as she spoke.

“Has she called?” He didn’t have to ask who, for he pretty much told his mom everything.

“No.”

“Maybe you aught to call her.” He nodded, grabbed his eyes and waved to Kris, quickly heading out to his car. He glanced at his cell phone when he got in, really wondering if he should, than tossed in the cup holder. He knew better than that. If she wanted to talk, she would call him; or text him.

He finally pulled up to the store and got out, going to the spice aisle and literally ran into Brain, the shock clearly written in both eyes.

“Hey Age.”

“Hey Rok. What are you doing here?”

“LeighAnne is flying back and I wanted to make her a special dinner.”

“She’s been gone, what, four days?”

”Yeah, but you know you always miss your lady love.” AJ nodded but then paused as Brian’s words sunk into his mind. ‘Four days huh?’, AJ thought as he looked at Brian and then saw the slight red tinge on his cheeks.

“LeighAnne was with her, huh?”

“Yeah. She left right after Resa. Leigh knew exactly where to find her.”

“And no one told me?”

“Come on AJ. You need this as much as she did.”

“I guess. What could Leigh have told her?” Brian shrugged at that, for he was not about to tell anyone that little secret. In fact, he had straight up told LeighAnne that he didn’t even want Resa to know. He felt that information would only hurt them, not help the couple. But, LeighAnne already had her mind set and was packed before he knew it. She had kissed him and whispered ‘a mistake isn’t a mistake anymore if it helps someone’. And how true that was, but strangely, those mere words lifted a burden off his chest that he didn’t even know he was carrying. So, if that bit of news helped his friend than he really had no right to be mad at his wife anymore, right?

“I’m not sure AJ. But have some faith. If it’s meant to be, you know she’s coming back to you.”

“I know. I just feel like my whole life is on pause and that when it starts again, I’m not gonna like the road it’s going to go down.” Brian opened his mouth to blurt out that it was AJ’s own doing but Brian didn’t need to throw that hurtful stone out there.

“Just keep your head up man. Resa loves you, you know that.” Brian gave him a half hug and AJ nodded.

“I know. Oh, don’t let me keep you. Go cook your wife her dinner.” AJ gave him a small smile and then grabbed his item and left, although his talk with Brian certainly kept running through his mind the whole drive home.

-----
Brian had just finished the last touches on his table setting when his wife walked through the front door. He turned and smiled, kissing her softly.

“I missed you baby.”

“I missed you too Bri. What is all this?”

”Just a little something to say I love you. And like always, you were right.” LeighAnne sat her bag down and lifted an eyebrow at him. Yes, she was older, and the woman, but more times often than naught, she was the one telling Bri he was right.

“Excuse me, I think I missed heard that.”

“Don’t you dare make me repeat that woman.” LeighAnne smiled at him and leaned back in the seat to watch him. “So, you talked to Resa?”

“I did. She seemed rather surprised, didn’t believe the saint could ever do something wrong.” Brian rolled his eyes at that and set her plate in front of her.

“Why does everyone say that? Geez.” Brian bowed his head and said a prayer, finally looking up at his wife and into her smiling eyes. “What?”

“And you honestly wonder why?”

“Oh, whatever!” Brain took a bit and chewed before asking the one question he really wanted to know. “What did Resa say?” LeighAnne took a drink of her wine and wiped her mouth.

“Honestly, nothing, other than she had to think.” Brian stopped his drink halfway to his mouth.

“Think? I thought that’s what she was already doing there?”

“Hon!” LeighAnne shook her head. “AJ put her in one horrible position. What would you have her do? Rush into something foolish and be bruised for many years to come?” Brian shook his head, for he wouldn’t want that. He really cared for Resa, thought she would be a wonderful wife for AJ. But, he had also been friends with AJ for many years and wasn’t his loyalties supposed to lie with AJ? Shouldn’t he want his best friend happy no matter the cost?

Chapter 43

He stared out the window of the room, watching the rain splatter against it. In some ways, his heart was in a huge turmoil; he just didn’t know which road to follow. The last few days with Kris had been great, but could he really say they were a couple? Some days it felt like it and yet others, it just really couldn’t be.

He sighed and ran his hand over his face; more confused than he aught to be. He could also openly admit that things without Resa weren’t nearly as fun. And no matter how much he tried to block it, he couldn’t; that kiss was coming back to haunt him. He was now day dreaming about it! And how in the world did that happen?

Maybe it had something to do with AJ? Maybe he could see that his and Resa’s relationship wasn’t as sturdy as it should be? Maybe he could finally see a glimmer of hope for himself?

But, if that was the case, than that would mean, on some level, that he had feelings for Resa, and that, he couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around. When would those have come? He didn’t dare ask how, for that he could pretty much guess. In so many ways, she was amazing.

He sighed again and leaned his head back against the couch. Was that way his marriage failed? Some where, deep down where he couldn’t see and couldn’t tell, had he fallen in love before his marriage had even ended? Was he laying all the blame on his ex when in truth it was him that had changed; him that had fallen out of love; him that wanted a new life? Now, that was a crushing blow. For so long he had been mad at Leigh but maybe it was really him.

There sure seemed to be a lot of maybe questions that had suddenly appeared and he wasn’t too sure he was liking them. Not that his mind seemed to be stopping anytime soon. Hell, it really hadn’t stopped since she left. He knew that he should have been the one to talk to her and explain what happened with dip shit. He should have been the one that flew to God knows where….he trailed off on that. No, he knew he couldn’t have gone after her.

Either she would have hated him, which he really did deserve; or he would have ended up being no better than AJ, and cheated. He would have used her emotions, and in a selfish heat, he would have allowed her to betray AJ like he betrayed her. God, he was more of an asshole than he thought. Maybe he really did cause Leigh to leave. And, shit, he was back to the maybe game.

He shook his head and finally stood up, not really needing to be along with his thoughts anymore. They were getting him into trouble and that was never a good sign. And that, that was his own damn fault.

“You’re still up?” He turned his head and smiled at his sister.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Ah. Then wanna sit with me?” He had just been sitting for the last three hours, but he didn’t have the heart to deny his sister. So, he nodded his head and followed Pollyanna outside. He watched as she curled up on the little bench and he was glad that the back porch was at least covered. “Talk to me D.”

“About what?” Pollyanna lifted a brow.

“Really? You want to play that game with me?” Oh sure, he was close to John, they did a lot of guy stuff together, no matter the age difference but when he needed to talk, his sisters were the best ones to turn to. And actually, of them all, he always took his advice from his sister Caroline.

“Fine, no games. I’m thinking about Resa.”

“Yeah, I heard about it. The fans and Twitter. She found out the truth.” Well, he had to confide in someone. Besides, his sisters all knew when he was hiding something.

“Yeah, she did.” He leaned back against the seat and crossed his feet at the ankles. “I can’t help but feel horrible. I was her best friend, I should have said something.”

“First of all, don’t use past tense. She maybe hurt, but she won’t stop being your friend. Second of all, yes, we all know you were selfish in your reasons. Not,” she said, holding her hand up to stop his protest, “not that you were backing, supporting, or condoning your friend. But you didn’t want to see her hurt. Granted, watching the interactions between Kris and Alex, I would think she was already having some kind of pain.”

“So, what do I do?” God, sometimes he hated how right his sisters were. Polly hadn’t even been around the situation and she saw the truth of it.

“Honestly Howie, nothing. Right now, Resa has the final say in everything. She could very well walk away from AJ, and all of you. Or, she could try to fight for the love she sees there. And, if that’s the case, then you can do nothing but be her friend and support her. You already hurt her once, though you didn’t mean to. If you put yourself out there now, she’s more than likely to reject you.”

Ah, how right that was. He hated the thought of Resa going back to AJ, for he really felt, deep down, that AJ was not returning the love he had. But, who was he to say anything? Polly was right, that was Resa’s choices. And if she still wanted his friendship, than he head no choice but to support her, unless she asked otherwise.

Goodness, how the hell did this become such an ugly ass situation? And who could take the blame? Anyone and everyone actually.

“Howie?” He lifted his head and glanced at his sister.

“Yeah?”

“If you truly cared for Resa, and you really think she’s not going to choose AJ, then don’t make her believe you care for another woman, when you don’t. It’s really not good to string two women along.” With that, she stood up and walked over, gave him a kiss on the cheek and went back inside and up to bed.

Hell, he really hadn’t thought about Kris. At first, he actually liked her, maybe even crushed on her. And he still did, but to really date? Sure, the kisses they had were great and they did set him a blazing, but they were certainly not like the one kiss he had with Resa; that along caused a fire to flame up that didn’t seem to be like it was going to die soon.

So, with that being stated, what did he say? Well, what could he say but the truth? Granted, he didn’t want to hurt her anymore than she had already been hurt. But he knew too, that he wasn’t the one for her. And that they came together because of AJ and Resa, more than anything else. Damn, how he hated when his sisters were right!

-----
She leaned her hands back in the sand and watched the last sun rays sink into the ocean. In some ways, she was rather glad that she didn’t have sunset gazing in common with AJ. For him, unbeknown, to his fans, he loved to be up early and watch the sunrise. Not the habit you would think a known partier would happen to have.

But at least here, she could watch and find peace; and finally an answer to her long lost question. And she was hoping that her heart wasn’t leading her astray. She smiled and stood up, dusting the sand off of her and heading back up to her room, for she was leaving in the morning.

Chapter 44

“Did I miss something?”

“Don’t you always?” Kris asked in response to AJ’s question and sat down next to him at the piano. “What are you thinking about Alex?”

“What makes you think I’m thinking of anything?” Kris merely lifted an eyebrow, really thinking that Alex knew better than that.

“The music stopped playing.”

“Oh.” AJ set his hands back on the keys and then finally looked at Kris. “I miss her.” Kris knew this was coming. No matter how much she tried to stop it. “I love her. But, I don’t want you think, for any given moment, that what we shared wasn’t special to me. Or that I regret it.” Kris was gonna say something but then stopped and just looked at him.

“Tell me Alex, would you regret it if Resa left you over it? If she said goodbye forever?” Kris reached out and took his glasses off, wanting to stare into his eyes while he told her that answer. In this way, he was more exposed; not lie he was any good at lying to her anyway.

“Kris, how can you ask me that question?”

“Very simply. I open my mouth and the words come out. And I want an answer Alex. Right now, I’m the hoe that slept with Alex, and in a way, I am. But what’s funny about that night, the blame isn’t mine. You knew you were cheating. My blame comes in the fact that I didn’t tell my best friend and in the end, hurt her. But, you played me for a fool that night. I just wanna see if you would play me that way again.”

Alex stared into her eyes and knew that every word she spoke was true, but that sure didn’t help the ball that had settled in his stomach. He would never regret it though, no matter how much he loved Resa. Maybe he really didn’t think she would leave him.

“Kris, I love Resa, she’s the woman I wanna marry. But even if she left me, I will never regret out night. That was special and always will be. And I’m not just saying that because I don’t want to hurt you; it’s the truth.” AJ grabbed her hands, the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her. Yes, he knew he did, and regretted that. But, like he said, he couldn’t hate that night, and never would, no matter what the final answer was.

Kris watched him, his eyes always bearing his soul, and nodded. The truth was within in those brown depths, and in all consideration, she had no idea how to take it. On one hand, he was saying he didn’t want to hurt her and said he would never regret it; which she knew and actually relished. But, on the flip side, he was hurting her best friend, the woman who was pretty much like a sister to her. And so she had no idea if she should be happy or if she should be pissed off. Right at this moment, both her heart and her mind were at odds.

She sighed and looked down at their hands. She wanted to yell but merely asked, “you love her?”

“I do.”

“Then don’t you dare hurt her again. She’s my best friend, and I really don’t want to say that she deserves better than you.” AJ visibly winced at that, for he knew she was right. “And I’m only staying on the tour until we get to New York. You need time with her, without me in the way.”

AJ opened his mouth to protest, to tell her how untrue that was, but he knew how big of a lie that would be. If he really wanted a life with Resa, he couldn’t have Kris around, clouding his mind.

-----
She watched him for a few more minutes before she took her coffee mug and went to go sit by him on the couch. He was looking at their engagement picture. She could see Alex in there, but there was still a lot of AJ coming through, and she often wondered if him or Resa ever thought about that.

She sighed and finally rested her hand on his arm, making him jump slightly. AJ had become really good at going into his own world and blocking everything and everyone out when he wanted.

“Hey mom.”

“Hey.” She fought for something to say and then stated the obvious. “Looking at the photo?”

“Yeah. It’s always been one of my favorites of us.”

“It’s a beautiful photo. I love your smile. And the twinkle in her eye.”

“That twinkle has been there since the day I asked her to marry me.” He sat back and chuckled. “She screamed and jumped on me, almost breaking the banister. I hadn’t even gotten the ring, the words just came out. That has to mean something.” AJ looked at his mom, who mentally sighed.

She wanted to tell her only child that he would be forever happy with Resa; part of her did want that, did think that. But the realistic side of her saw how Alex was with someone else and couldn’t believe that.

“Of course it does hon.” She took the photo and stared at the woman in the picture. “I know Resa thinks I don’t like her or that I don’t approve; especially now with Kris here.” AJ was just about to say that wasn’t true, for a certain friend had spilled about what Resa confided in him, but he couldn’t make one sound. “You don’t have to deny it, I could tell, her actions speak volumes. But, you know that’s not the case. I think Theresa is a great woman, that she would stay beside you and be a wonderful wife. And I never meant to hurt her, you know.”

“I know.” Denise kept looking at the picture and than finally handed it back to him.

“Alex?” He looked at it for a moment and then put it back, finally turning to look at his mom. “I don’t have to tell you marriage is forever. And it’s hard work. Granted, if you have the right partner, it is so much easier. You want someone who will be there to life you up when your fall down. You want someone who knows your deepest fears, and won’t laugh nor prey on them. I know you have heard me say it a 1000 times, but you do want someone that is your second half.” She patted his hand and then got up, leaving him alone to think.

But, he was tired of thinking. That’s all he had been doing since she left. And that’s how he finally came to the answer that he loved her enough to push everything away and focus on just them. And maybe they weren’t in love, but that’s something they could grow into, his heart and mind both told him that. Or, at least that’s what he wanted to believe.

And although Kris was his best friend and he loved her dearly and loved having her around, he really knew that Resa would only believe him if Kris was away. And maybe have her talk to his mom. He could read her well enough to know that she thought his mom didn’t note her high enough. And that was true. He knew his mom and knew she compared every girl he ever dated to Kris. And since Kris was here, it was easy to see who she wanted and show would prefer spending time with. But, he told his mom that Kris wasn’t his choice and oh well to her.

He sighed and finally stood up. He had waited to call her, waited to hear anything, and no word to him, although, everyone else seemed to have talked to her. Not that he could blame her, but it did hurt. He grabbed his phone and went to sit on the back deck, finally starting a text message.

Chapter 45

He couldn’t believe his eyes when he woke up this morning and saw the text message. The last thing he expected was for her to call or text and asked to be picked up at the airport. He half thought, and maybe slightly hoped, that she would be back at their place cleaning it out of her stuff.

And yet, her message clearly said she was coming back to the tour but she wanted to surprise everyone. Part of him felt more special. But, on some other messed up level, part of him wanted to be the group that got the surprise. There was a reason behind her asking him, he knew that much. But, this was Resa, and you really couldn’t second guess her mind. Once you did, you’d be wrong.

He leaned against the wall as he waited, finally seeing the plane taxi to the gate. Although, he frowned to himself as he felt his heart rate speed up. That was not a good sign. But, he straightened up as he saw her and was readily able to pick her up as she jumped into his arms. And though he liked the feel of her, he knew that this was wrong, all of it.

“Now, that’s how you should great your lover after a long while.” Howie quickly sat her down and both of them turned to look at the older couple who was watching them.

“She’s not, she’s my friend….”

“Even better,” the older man said and took his wife’s hand, kissing the back of it. “Friends make the best lovers, all inhibitions and embarrassments fly out the window son.” The guy winked at D and finally strolled away, leaving Resa and D staring after them.

“As many people as I have picked up at the airport, I don’t think I have ever had anyone make that comment to me.” Resa watched them and linked her arm through Howie’s.

“That could be, but you gotta admit, that was pretty damn funny.” Yes, he could admit that, but then again, those were words that seem to be echoing in his mind.

-----
She glanced at him as he drove, letting him navigate the airport before finally speaking up. “I don’t want to go to the hotel yet.” D looked over at her and nodded.

“Okay, what do you wanna do?”

“Have lunch. Somewhere private and cozy. I wanna talk to you, away from everything and everyone; this is why I asked you to pick me up.”

“I wondered what the deal was. But, sure, I know just the right place and the food there is the best you will find.” Resa merely lifted a brow and then saw him get on the freeway and make a quick exit on Ocean Avenue. Sure, there were tons of places that were along the coast that were great, but only his place was private and Resa had to smile at that.

15 minutes later, Howie was unlocking the door to his condo and ushered her in. “Make yourself at home.”

“You know, this is the first time that I’ve been in here.” Resa walked around, smiling at how clean it was. “And I swear, it looks like it did on Cribs.”

“Well, for a long time, I wasn’t living here. And I like it, so why change it?”

“That is very true.” Resa turned and looked at D, who handed her some water. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Sit down, I’ll start on lunch.” He went back into the kitchen and she browsed around, staring at pictures of his family or with the guys and actually opened her eyes wide as she saw one with him and her all dressed up for something fancy.

“What was that for?” Howie stepped up behind her, noticed what it was and grinned.

“For LeighAnne’s and Brian’s anniversary. Remember, AJ didn’t make it but you weren’t about to miss it, so I became like your unspoken date?”

“Oh my gosh, how in the world could I forget?” That was one of the best nights ever!”
Howie watched her for a moment and had to agree. They had a lot of fun and that night probably drew them closer as friend as well.

“It was great. So, what’s on your mind?” Howie took her hand and led her to the couch, letting her sit down first.

“Actually, a lot of things.” Resa sat down and took another sip of her water before setting her bottle down. “You know I talked to Nick before I left, right?” Howie winced and could feel his cheeks flame up but before he could say anything, she held up her hand and shook her head. “Listen to me before you say anything please. I know you too well and how you tend to think.”

“Okay, the floor is yours.”

“Nick told me the truth. He answered every question I put before him concerning AJ and Kris and what happened in Hawaii. And I will be honest D, that hurt. You knew before anyone and you kept it, and for as close as we were, that hurt all the more. But,” she held up her hand again when saw the protest on his lips, for she knew her friends pretty well, “I do know why. And no, it wasn’t because AJ was your boy. In your way, you thought you were protecting me, and I thank you. You honestly felt that this was the right thing. And, maybe on some level, it was.” She reached over and squeezed his hand. “I also know that with you, you probably thought I would be way more upset with you.”

“You had every right.”

“And I thank you for that. But I’m not. And that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I accept what you did and I even deem it okay. You are my best friend D, don’t doubt that.”

“So, what’s your choice?” She leaned back on the couch and looked at Howie, a smile tugging at her lips.

“I can’t even tell AJ before I tell you?” He thought that over for a moment and than shook his head.

“Nope, you gotta tell me. I have to know.”

“You don’t have to know shit! You just want to know.” She rolled her eyes and than leaned forward and rested her hands on his knees. “I’m going to say…I want food. My stomach is growling and it’s about ready to eat itself.”

-----
They sat down at the table and Resa took a sip of her wine as she watched Howie and then waited for him to sit down before she asked the question she’d been longing to know.
“So,” she picked up her fork and looked at him, “what’s the deal with you and Kris?” He looked at her and then shrugged, taking a few bites before answering.

“I guess you can say nothing really happened. We went on a few dates and had some kissing, but when it came down to it, the attraction just wasn’t really there.”

“Oh Howie!”

“It’s okay. She’s a good friend though.” Howie kept his thoughts to himself about how he really saw the woman he really wanted coming to his arms.

Chapter 46

“I feel like something is going to happen,” AJ said, resting his arm on Brian’s shoulder, admitting the uneasy feeling he was having. And he would be damned if he had any clue about what was gonna happen. But when it came to those gut feelings, he just knew to trust ‘em.

“Hey, has anyone seen D?

“I’m right here. Hold your horses.” All heads turned to look at him, AJ’s brows wrinkling at how tired he was looking.

“Are you alright man?”

“Yeah. Just a late night. I was up talking.” All the men snickered and Howie rolled his eyes. “Really, aren’t we grown men here? I swear guys.”

“Talking to who, Howie?” AJ asked, fallin in step with the other guy.

“A friend man. That’s all, nothing happened.”

“Oh, so it was a girl.” AJ paused and watched Howie, really wondering now what was going on. Yeah, Howie could keep to himself when he wanted, but something told AJ that this time around, it was way more.

“What is it AJ?” Howie had paused as well and looked back at AJ.

“Just, I know you’re keeping something. And you hardly do that.” AJ couldn’t help the whine that seemed to creep into his voice. But, damn it, he could feel something was going on and didn’t like it.

“Man, you gotta relax.” AJ turned around and looked at Nick, then at Kevin.

“What gives? What the hell is going on?”

“What makes you think anything is going on?” He froze, not wanting to turn and look at that voice, or rather, the person the voice belonged to. He had to be dreaming because he really thought she wasn’t coming back. But, finally he did and felt his breath catch at the sight of her.

“Theresa?”

“Were you expecting someone else?”

”Not really, I guess. I just thought…” He trailed off as he watched her approach, a lump seeing to form in his throat. It wasn’t her style to break up over the phone, so her being here wasn’t stating that she was his again.

“You thought what?” Her left hand crept up and cupped his cheek.

“Hell if I know what I really thought.” Her lips curved up and into that little smile that he seemed to love so much.

“You seem to do that quite often you know.”

“I do.”

“Wanna go to lunch with me?” AJ lifted his eyes away from hers to tell the group he was bailing on them but smiled instead as he saw they all had left. “Unless, of course, you had other plans or something.”

“Somehow, I think you took care of that.”

-----
Resa leaned back against the bench and took a sip of her soda as she watched AJ. He sure seemed shocked and maybe slightly confused when he saw her. She knew that she had to tread carefully. She could still want him, but maybe he just didn’t want her anymore.

She watched him as he doctored up his burger and then added some ketchup to his plate for his fries and finally glanced at her.

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” She nodded and finished fixing her salad. “I can’t believe that’s all you’re eating.”

“Why? I can steal your fries.” He glanced sharply at her and then moved his body to protect his precious food. “Oh do you really think that would work?” He laughed and shook his head.

“No, but I can try.” They sat in peace and enjoyed the meal, both nervous and yet both knowing that no matter what, everything would be okay.
Finally, Resa pushed her plate away and then snagged a fry as AJ did the same. He lifted an eyebrow at her but she only grinned at him.

“So, did you enjoy your trip?”

“I did babe. I thought about a lot of things.” She licked her lips and then turned to look him in the eye. “You know Nick told me everything, right?” Resa watched the eyes she had always loved and saw the way they wanted to lie, but couldn’t.

“I know.”

“Is there anything you want to add?”

“I’m sorry. I got…I was stupid. And that’s not an excuse. But I love you Theresa. You are the woman I want.”

“You mean that?”

“I do.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath and AJ felt like he was walking a tight rope, thinking that with the wrong words, he was gonna fall off. “I’m not gonna pretend to understand what you were thinking; why you did it or why you lied. I just want you to know that I cried myself to sleep more times then I care to count. And I blame that on you.”

“I would too, to be honest.”

“I’m glad we agree on that.” She grabbed the napkin and started twisting it. “I’m not gonna lie and I’m not gonna sugar coat this. You’re an ass AJ, for what you did. That was horrible. And then covering it up every single time; that only makes you worse.” AJ listened to her and knew she was right. She deserved way better than he had given and that sure as hell was a bitter pill to swallow. He swallowed hard, feeling like he was about to fall off that tight rope and he knew he had only himself to blame.

“I deserve….everything to have to say.”

“No, AJ, you don’t. You don’t deserve my love or my forgiveness, but I’m willing to give you both.” He just started at her, unblinking, unbreathing. There was no way she could have uttered those words. She actually wanted to try and make this work? She giggled a bit and that snapped him out of his daze.

“You’re serious?”

“I am AJ. I love you. And yes, you hurt me and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make you pay very dearly. But I also know that I don’t wanna live without you. In fact, I really don’t want to try.”

“So, are you telling me that…you…um….,” he couldn’t even get the words out. But, he watched as reached into her purse and pulled out the pink diamond he had gotten for her.

“If you don’t mind Alexander, with your permission, I would like to wear this ring and it truly means that we will get married.” With a lighting of the heart that he didn’t think was possible, he took the ring from her and slipped it back on her finger. Then he placed a kiss there and pulled her close, connecting his lips to hers. From sheer will power alone, he had to forget Kris and forget their night together. He, he wouldn’t regret it, but he did have to forget. He wanted a life with the woman before him and that really meant blocking out everything else.

His mind roared loud and clear that he could do it, that he could love only Resa and value her like he needed to. His heart, on the other side, straight up told him that he was being foolish in so many accounts. In this regard, he chose to listen to his mind.

Chapter 47

“You okay?” Kris looked up from her book at the other blonde one and smiled.

“I guess.” Nick sat down next to her and ran his fingers through his hair. When he had found out that Resa was coming back, he had done another reading, then another and finally another; the answer was all the same. “Nick, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I guess too.” Kris rose an eyebrow, clearly not buying that. “I just, I like my friends happy. I want the world around me to be peaceful.”

“Given your history Nick, I don’t blame you. Anyone would want that.” Nick thought that over and nodded, knowing that’s why he was always helping his friends.

“Yeah, but….,” he paused and then turned to really look at her. “Can I ask you something and you give me an honest answer? Not that you owe it to me or anything, but I just gotta know.” Kris frowned as she watched Nick and knew that something was upsetting him. Having been around him and seeing his normal happy moods, this was something she just didn’t like, and was more than willing to try and make him happy.

“Yes Nick, go ahead and ask. I’ll you whatever you wanna know.”

“Are you in love with Alex enough to try and steal him?” Why the hell did she say yes?! How could she answer that truthfully? She licked her lips and sighed.

“Had you asked me before Resa left, then yes. But Resa is my best friend and there is no way that I would dare hurt her for the third time.” This time it was Nick’s turn to raise his eyebrow, seeing how she didn’t really answer the question.

“Then let me say it differently. Are you in love with Alex?” Kris took another deep breath and then just nodded her head. “And is part of you angry that Resa is back?” Once again, Kris nodded, not having any voice. After all, how could she? She was voicing some rather deep thoughts that could get her into some serious trouble.

“Nick,” she finally managed to croak out. But if she thought that would stop, she sadly mistaken.

“Wait, let me finish. I know you might find me crazy, and I wouldn’t blame you. But let’s just say that I know your gonna end up with the man you are in love with.”

“Bull shit Nick! Resa and AJ are engaged. She’s back and she makes him happy. Why would you dare say that eh would leave and be with me?” But all Nick did was shrug. Not about to let out one of his deepest secrets. It was bad enough Resa knew but he really didn’t need word to get around. Not that he really thought people would go and tell, but it was still a change he wasn’t willing to take, period.

“Let’s just say that I’ve seen it Kris. You and AJ will end up being together.” Kris stood up and glared at Nick.

“How dare you say that! Resa and AJ are gonna be married and there is no way I’m standing in the way of that! Ever!” With that, Kris glared at Nick once more. There was no way she was gonna inflict more pain on one of the woman she adored. And as she went to yank the door open, Kris gasped as Resa stood before, her hand about ready to know. “Resa!”

“Kris!” Resa smiled at her and then glanced at Nick. “Is everything okay? I can come back.”

“No, everything is fine. It’s great to have you back.” Kris pulled Resa into a hug and smiled. “What’s up girlie?”

“I was just going to see if you wanted to go have lunch with me, or drinks.” She paused, glanced at Nick again and then back to Kris. “We need to talk.”

“Oh.” Kris swallowed hard, her mind spinning. “Let me grab my purse.” She turned around, seeing Nick and then frowned but still turned and followed Resa. “Did you have any place in mind?”

“Not really. The bar across the street looked good.” Resa slipped her arm through Kris’, which in some way, made Kris even more nervous. This was not how Resa should be acting if she was pissed and was gonna rip Kris a new one.

Resa went in and picked a corner booth to sit down in and waited for Kris before ordering some drinks. Kris sat down across from her and smiled as the waitress brought their drinks. Kris took a sip of her drink and watched Resa do the same.

“So….”

“You can’t just enjoy the silence huh?” Resa chuckled and shook her head at Kris. “I talked to Nick before I left. About everything.” She paused and looked at Kris. “Including Hawaii.”

“Resa, let me explain.”

“Oh, I have every intention of letting you in fact. I know you didn’t know he was engaged and I very much understand that. AJ knows he played the system. I want you to explain how you could go on every day as my best friend and not tell me.”

“God, did I want to Resa! Badly! I hated that I had to hurt you, again. But, I thought ignorance was bliss. That if you didn’t know, you wouldn’t be hurt.”

“That seems to be the common answer. What I find funny, I guess, is that I was fighting this ghost and no one cared. No one seemed to think that would hurt more than finding out.”

Kris ducked her head, not having anything she could possibly say. And if she even told Resa the whole truth, she might as well call their friendship over. She sighed and played with her glass.

“I can’t say anything Resa, other than I’m sorry. I was wrong. We all were.” Resa sighed too and nodded her head.

“It would make a hypocrite if I forgave everyone but my best friend. I only ask, please, don’t hurt me again? I’m not really sure I could take it.” Kris looked up at her and smiled.

“Theresa, you’re my best friend. It would kill me if I hurt you again.”

“At least we are on the same page for that then. So, tell me, is there any other secrets you might want to share so I won’t be surprised or anything?”

Kris ran her fingers over the edge of her glass, picking up the droplets and smiled up at Resa, thinking a half truth was the best route. “You know all my feelings and thoughts.”

Chapter 48

Brian watched the couple for a few more moments, his eyes narrowed slightly. Of all the guys, he was probably the only one to really understand body language, which is why he was the one who was less criticized in the media.

“If you keep looking at them like that, you might have them start thinking you aren’t happy for them.” Brian turned and looked a the man before taking his arm and ushering him in a private room backstage. “Brian!”

“Oh stop Kev. I want to talk to you about that happy couple.” Kevin crosses his arm and nodded.

“Go on.”

“You would want your brothers happy, right? I’m talking about AJ and D. And I mean totally happy. Not just happy for a few moments?”

“Duh Brian. Wouldn’t you want that?”

“Of course Kev, which is why I was watching AJ and Resa. They aren’t happy.”

“Oh Please. They are rebuilding man. Of course they are gonna be on rocky ground.”

“That’s it! Look and watch AJ. If you see a difference, then let me know. If you don’t, then I will be the first to say that I’m just seeing things. But when AJ’s with Kris, there’s a carelessness that’s not there with Resa. And I will not sit by and allow some of my best friends try to be happy when I know damn good and well they are not!”

“Brian, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that if AJ is gonna be happier with Kris then I’m gonna make sure they are together.”

“And what about your dear friend Resa? Would you hurt her?”

“Kevin, are you so out of it that you haven’t watched anything this tour? Don’t you think Resa and D would look better than AJ and Resa?” Kevin frowned as he thought about that one. But, he had to give it to Brian, D and Resa would probably be way more happier.

“Okay, I can give you all of that. But do you have some plan to help push this along?” Brian shrugged but Kevin knew his manner all to well. Brian had a plan, and yet part of Kevin just didn’t want anything to do with it. But, that was a part he hardly listened to, so why start now?

-----
She watched the show, her arms crossed, her head tilted slightly. Something was off and she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. But, she knew, and had the gut feeling, but she just had no clue what could be going on. She sighed and was about to turn around when someone stepped up be her.

“Why the sigh?” Resa glanced at her right and smiled.

“Thinking. What’s up Kris?”

“I’m leaving, just so you know. I don’t need to be hanging around, making you or AJ uncomfortable or anything.”

“Kris, you can’t. You were supposed to help me plan my wedding. And you are my maid of honor.” Kris looked at Resa, a fear pooling in her stomach. And though Kris was staring at Resa, she missed the same fear that crossed her eyes. Resa couldn’t place what that fear was exactly, but it was different then Kris’. It could have been having someone she loved betray her that close; or it was simply the fact that she didn’t want AJ and Kris that close. Either way, she wasn’t sure that she wanted Kris to help her, and she was even more confused about having her in the wedding.

“Resa, you know I love you. And that I will always be there for you. And if you really want my help, you can email me. But, I have a plane ticked and I’m flying after the New York show.”

“I guess I can’t stop you.”

“You never have been able to.” Resa sighed and laid here head on her friend’s shoulder, quite confused, or maybe not. Deep inside, thought she loved AJ, she could tell something wasn’t quite right, not like before. And with this woman who was her best friend, she felt the same thing, like something wasn’t right. And in all truth, would never be right again.

“Kris…” She smiled and laid her head on Resa’s.

“Everything will be okay. You will be okay.” Resa frowned to herself. There was something to those words and she would be damned if she could figure out exactly what. But they were seemed like they applied to more than her current situation.

“Now isn’t this crazy.” Resa lifted her head and turned around to smile at LeighAnne. And for all her help, LeighAnne couldn’t help Resa with her feelings, for Bri cheated with a friend, but not a best friend.

“We were talking. Kris is gonna leave us.”

“You are?” All of them turned around to see AJ run off the stage and stop as he looked at Kris and Resa. “When?”

“After the New York show. It’s really best I think.”

“Oh, well, if you feel that way, then maybe it is.” Resa watched as Kris narrowed her eyes slightly by AJ’s tone and Resa could see the hurt there. Well, anyone would be hurt by AJ’s off handed tone.

“The club is gonna be busy tonight, you wanna go?” Howie asked. And before AJ could butt in with his answer, Resa piped up.

“You know, that works. Let’s party it up.”

-----
“I thought you would want to stay in, work on some things.” Resa looked at AJ in the mirror as he stood behind her.

“Work on what exactly?”

“This.” He stepped up behind her, his hand settling on her hips and his lips trailing over the back of her neck before moving to the side. He shifted her hair, his tongue flicking over the sweet skin before nipping, kissing, and sucking on the spot.

She reached behind her, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck; her eyes fluttering closed. Okay, so maybe that was something they could work on, he was right.
She turned around and quickly captured his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck, his hand exploring her lower back and ass.

He grabbed her butt and pulled her up against him, the friction from leather pants totally driving him wild. God, he loved her in skirts, but when she wore leather, she drove him behind wild. It only proved to him how much of a freak she was. And of course proved that she was his freak and his freak alone.

He moaned and backed up to the bed, falling down and straddling her over his legs. He moved his hand up into her hair and tugged on it, breaking the kiss and moving his lips back to the other side of her neck. His lips found one of her sweet spots and lightly sucked it, not knowing where the urge to brand her was coming from. But the banging on the door quickly drew them apart. He groaned and she smiled.

“Sorry baby, play time is over.” She went back to fixing her head and make up. He finally got up and made his way to the door, trying his best not to glare at Howie.

“Are you…” he paused as he saw the look on AJ’s face. “Was I interrupting something man?” AJ glared at Howie but crossed his arms over his chest.

“Shut up little man,” he all but growled. He could only imagine how long this night was gonna be.

“I was just stopping by to see if you all were ready?” Resa stepped up behind AJ, a good inch taller then him in her killer boots.

“We are, right babe?” AJ watched as Howie slowly looked Resa over and growled again. Long ass night indeed!

Chapter 49

He wasn’t sure he wanted her to go, but he knew that choice was not his. These last seven days flew by and he didn’t want to say goodbye to his best friend. And yes, he had spent time with his girl, but Kris was also his friend, and even though they had been stupid, Resa understood and accepted their friendship and hadn’t been hurt when he asked, just to make sure, if it was okay to spend time with her, much like he was doing now. Resa had gone out shopping with D and knew exactly what time they would be back.

“What are you thinking?” He looked up from his cards and looked at her.

“What makes you think I’m thinking anything?”

“Really Alex? You’re gonna ask me that question?” He crinkled his brows, not understanding what he could have done to make her think anything. “You have looked at your hand now for the last three minutes. You should have already told me how many cards you wanted.”

“Oh.” He glanced at his hand once more and then rested his arms on the table and leaned forward to talk to her.
“I don’t want you to go Kris.” Kris smiled at him and rested her hand on his arm.

“You may not want me to go, but I have to. It’s already bad enough that I have taken up this time with you.”

“No, it’s not. I already talked to Resa. She knows and understands how close we are.” Kris shook her head and stood up.

“You don’t know much about women Alex.”

“Hey now!”

“You know certain parts, true. But the working of a female is lost on your.” AJ visibly shivered and stood up.

“Does anyone now the workings of a female mind? Better yet, would they wanna the workings of that?”

“That’s beside the point. You might not know it, hell, might not want to believe it, but Resa has you on a leash. And no one could blame her.”

“A leash?”

“Yes. Even she may not realize that but she’s only allowing this time because in the future, it’s really gonna be limited. And once you two are married, I have a feeling that there won’t be anymore us time, that it will always be the three of us.”

“Is this part of that female mind thing?” Kris laughed and turned to give him a hug.

“Oh Alex, you really are my best friend and I so adore you.” He wrapped his arms around her, really not wanting to let her go. Especially if what she said was true. He was more at ease when it was just them two. He really couldn’t imagine asking, not asking, wanting Resa in that mix.

“Please don’t go.” She shivered as the whisper washed and caressed her neck. She couldn’t keep telling him no but she couldn’t stay around and hurt Resa anymore.

“Alex, please don’t ask me again; not if you really want a relationship with Resa. It’s bad enough that you are on tour and really don’t get the privacy that you two are gonna need to mend this hardship.” He sighed, for he knew she was right. She usually was. But that didn’t help the heart ache that he was feeling by her leaving.

“Well, then how about we watch a movie?”

-----
AJ wrapped his arm around her as she shivered and then realized that would not help her, so he grabbed his favorite blanket and laid it over her. She looked up at him and smiled. But then it froze. They stared into each other eyes, AJ’s hand softly rubbing her arm.

Was this where the last few days of being together had landed them? Both wanting something and yet both denying it? But, it was wrong! Granted, AJ knew that he just couldn’t let her walk away. There would never be a time like the present.

His free hand reached up and moved a strand of her hair out of the way, carefully moving it behind her ear. He searched her eyes, maybe wanting to see in her eyes the choice to say no. Maybe if he saw that, he could stop and turn around from what he was thinking. But he saw nothing in her eyes. In fact, he would almost say the desire mirrored his own. And that couldn’t be good.

But he refused to stop or look back. He knew they still had some time and without a backwards glance for both of them, he leaned his head down while she lifted hers and their lips both connected. And boy did that feel so right.

His hand wrapped around the back of her head, a soft moan coming out of him. Her lips were the softest and the sweetest he had ever tasted and he knew, right at that moment, where exactly this was heading and from that part onward, both parties were powerless to stop the train that had set into motion.

He finally broke the kiss to trail his lips over her neck, breathing in the flowery scent that was her alone. He knew deep down, as well, that letting her go was impossible. That everything from Hawaii was leading back up to this. And what that meant for him and Resa, he just didn’t want to know, or think about.

He eased her back on the couch, pulling her shirt off, along with his. Making love to her on the couch was not the scene he wanted, but his body, his heart, couldn’t wait to feel that connection again. He pulled back to look down at her, silently asking if here was okay, but he only grinned as she fumbled for his pants. With record time, he stripped them both down and slowly eased into her, moaning against her neck at the feeling of being home washed over him.

And what, he knew here he stood, he knew the road in which to take. And he knew the pain he was going to have to cause. But he couldn’t live without his soul, and that’s what Kris was, that’s what she had always been, and would forever always be. He was a damned fool if he thought he could walk away.

But, in truth, he wasn’t any better than the woman he was currently holding. She knew that she couldn’t let him go. Yes, she never wanted to hurt her friend again, but her best friend had snagged the only guy she really truly loved. And she was always told that you fought for those things that you loved. And if he wanted to go back, she would fight. Or if Resa had something to say, Kris would right. She wasn’t the mousy girl who no longer had a voice.

She ran her nails down his back as he kept sliding into her, her mind and her body claiming him, and neither cared. In fact, both longed for it, both wanted it, both hand been fighting it for far too long.

He moaned as his lips moved over her neck and then back to her lips, wanting to make it last but at least having the heart for Resa not to quite find them like that. That wouldn’t only hurt, that would be gut wrenching. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, a smile over taking her face.

“I love you Alex.” Those four little words were his undoing. He dropped his head, groaning low in his throat.

“I love you too,” and with that, he took both of them over the edge.


-----
“Babe?” Kris lightly poked AJ, who only groaned.

“I like it when you call me that. But I can do without the poking, thank you.”

“Sorry.” She giggled, curling up to him for a moment. “But we gotta get up.” That quickly snapped AJ out of his dreaminess. She was right; he didn’t want Resa to walk in on this. He got up, starting to search for his pants.

“I’m sorry Kris; you know that I want to lie in your arms…” She silenced him with a finger over his lips.

“She’s my friend too. And I don’t want to hurt her either. Now, hurry.” He kissed her finger and laughed; struggling to get his pants on, but froze as he heard the door open and heard her giggle, which quickly died. ‘No,’ his mind screamed at him, but he knew he had to turn and bear the look and anger she would have on her face. But he wasn’t quite ready to see her with her mouth closed and just blinking. She glanced between him, Kris, and the clothes on the floor, nodding once and then quickly left, slamming the door behind her.

Chapter 50

“Are you gonna drink that?” Resa blinked a couple of times and finally glanced down at the drink Howie had put in front of her twenty minutes ago. She didn’t want it, but he had said she was gonna need it. She wasn’t quite sure what the liquor was gonna do. It wasn’t like she could just forget that whole scene, nor forget the emotions that went along with it. Her whole world had just crumpled and some damn drink was supposed to help her? Not bloody likely!

“I’m numb Howie.” He sat his own bottle of beer down and moved to her side of the bench, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

“And you’re going to be sweetie. That was right out of left field.” She actually laughed as she shook her head.

“No, it wasn’t. Everyone knew it. It was a mistake to forgive him. He broke my heart and that’s what I have to show for it.” She shook her head. “That…us was ugly.”

“What do you mean?"

“Our relationship; AJ and mine. We wanted to be loved, wanted to feel whole and complete and what did we do? We forced it.” Howie tilted his head and watched her, lifting her chip up.

“Did you force it?” She wanted to lie but her eyes told the truth. She loved that man, but she loved him enough to put his happiness first. Want an amazing woman she was to be able to do that.

“In a way I did I guess. I wanted him, and I looked past the signs that I never should have. I was a fool.” Howie rubbed her arm and rested his head on hers. He didn’t think of her as a fool. Yes, she might have made mistakes, but so did AJ and you can’t lay all the blame on one person. If AJ wasn’t all that happy, he never should have put that ring on her finger. “Is it wrong that I’m picturing what my life would have been like if Kris never walked back into AJ’s life?”

“Not at all. But you ran into a problem if you think that. Kris would have been your maid of honor, which means he would have had her back in his life. Now, them sleeping together might not have happened. But, it’s quite possible that them falling in love would have happened. And it could have been way worse, because you could have already been married.”

She sighed, agreeing with him. And that road would have been way more horrible. Again, it wasn’t like this was all very shocking to her. Maybe she should have ended it earlier, when eh put the ring on her finger. Oh, she knew then that his whole heart wasn’t behind it, but she loved him enough to over look that. Maybe she even felt that she could love him enough for the both of them. And how many times did that blow up in someone’s face? Why should her relationship be any different? No real reason, so once again, she sighed.

“Thank you Howie, for trying to make things better here.”

“That’s what you think I was trying to do? Resa, there is no making it better. Only time is gonna help with this road. And you can bet that it’s gonna be way more harsh than you know. This,” he waved his hand at the table and the drinks, “this was to help you ease your mind for the night.”

“This was supposed to do that?”

“Well more than one drink was supposed to do that.” Resa smiled at Howie.

“Thank you for trying at least.”

“No worries.” Resa slide out of the booth and Howie frowned. “Where are you going Resa?”

“To think. Right now, I just wanna be alone. It’s nothing against you D. You have been an amazing friend and I thank you.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. She waved and then turned around; quickly hailing a cab and having it take her to the pier.

-----
She leaned against the bars as she watched the sun finally set. With those dying rays, she felt like she had lost all the warmth in her life. Not just today, but really forever. Her heart was AJ’s and right now, she just couldn’t imagine loving anyone as much as she loved him.

She sighed and bowed her head, the tears starting to finally escape. How in the world had she really gotten to this spot? She was supposed to have her happy ever after with the man who was more like…and she paused, her thoughts hitting once more into a brick wall. She really had known it all along; she just really refused to see it, or really speak about it. If it was out in the open like that, then it was only gonna bring it out more and make it more real.

But how many times has she said that AJ and Alex were two different people? That the real man inside was Alex and that Alex was just a man she didn’t get to see? Didn’t get to spend time with? And would most certainly never see now?

She sat down and wiped her face. When you looked at the two of them, Kris and Alex, they fit so perfectly. They were friends, yes, but as a couple, they were stunning. She was light and he was dark; she was short, he was tall; and together, they were always smiling. Who wouldn’t want to be around that?

She rested her arm on the bench and leaned her head back, watching the first few stars appear. She watched them for a while, letting her mind drift back to a night that someone poured his heart out and once more, she felt the tears. Part of her wanted to wail and punch him. And yet, part of her knew that she could do the same thing to herself. After all, she knew deep down, that when she came back, things just weren’t right. And yet she stayed.

Did she stay because she really wanted AJ? No one could deny that there were feelings between Alex and Kris, even she could see that. So why did she stay? Was it be cause she really loved that man or was it because she wanted to hurt him, or them, like she was hurting? And if that was the case, then in the long run, she really was only hurting herself.

She rubbed her face and closed her eyes, wishing with all her heart that she didn’t have to deal with this. Well, in all truth, AJ did it. It wasn’t like she was really going to fight for him; what would be the point behind that? They loved each other and wanted to be with each other. Only a cold, heartless bitch would try to fight; and that was not her. So, that left her alone. Crap, she knew that she should have packed her things at the house.
She grabbed her phone, glad she had a friend who could go pack up her clothes, and anything else and hit send, dropping her head and letting out all her feelings.

-----
AJ glanced at his watch, figuring that Resa had gotten her own room, and who could blame her? But, he could admit, he was worried. She hadn’t answered his text, and again, he wouldn’t blame her, but he at least hoped she would respond.

He finally called the front desk and asked for Theresa Lambe’s room, and after a few minutes of talking to the manager and throwing his weight around, he finally found out she never got a room. He thanked the guy and hung up, glancing at Kris.

“I’m gonna check with D.” Kris nodded, the circles showing under her eyes as well, showing that they were both worried. AJ hurried out and knocked on D’s door, silently praying that Resa was there. But as he talked to D, he sighed, hearing that Resa wasn’t there either.

“She didn’t get her own room AJ?”

“No, I already checked.” AJ chewed on his lip, trying to think of where Resa could possibly have stayed.

Chapter 51

AJ glanced at Kris, then at Howie and sighed. They had been worrying, but AJ knew Resa better than that. He knew right where to find her. Although, he didn’t like to think of her being out alone, all night long, in New York. Not the best place for a female.

“You know where she is?” Kris asked as she watched his face. They weren’t heartless; Resa was still their friend and they didn’t want any harm to come to her, no matter what.

“Resa’s at the pier.”

“She wouldn’t have stayed there alone, all night long hon.” AJ bent and gave Kris a soft kiss.

“Yes, she would have. Rebook your flight please?” Kris only looked at Alex, not sure she wanted to be around when the fire works happened. And yes, she knew that was the cowards way out, but she knew Resa would contact her at some point in time too.

“I’ll see what I can do.” AJ nodded, glanced at D and then quickly left, his insides quickly becoming like jelly.


-----
He paused as he watched her, part of him aching for her and the damage he had done. God, he never meant to hurt her, honestly! He loved her, just wasn’t in love with her. He sighed, slowly walking over to her, seeing her eyes closed.

“You remember that time that you stayed and we watched the stars come out and we talked? Do you know that I have never looked at stars quite the same way?”

“I remember. And no, I didn’t know. How did you know it was me?” She finally opened her eyes and turned to look at him.

“My heart always speeds up when you’re around and my stomach flips. It’s really just my love.” She broke his gaze and looked down at her hands.

“Resa, why did you stay here all night? It was dangerous!”

“Do you really care? Does anyone?” She snapped at him and instantly regretted it.

“No matter what you may think Theresa, I do care for you. I still love you, as does Kris. We were both worried.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, that was very wrong of me. Had I even had any notion of the time, I would have gotten a room. But, I just stayed and lost myself in thoughts. To be honest, I hadn’t even registered that the sun had risen.” AJ leaned back against the bench, thinking about that. Resa was always aware of the sunrise, for she had three favorite parts of the day, the sunrise was one of them. And for her not to bask in the sheer beauty of it, could only mean that she really was that deep in thought. Not that it made him feel any better about that.

“Theresa….”

“I’m not sure,” she started, shaking her head as she cut him off, “what you hoped to accomplish by coming out here. Is there really anything left to say between us?”

“There’s a ton! Do you think we meant for that to happen?”

“No, I honestly don’t. But, I have sat here and wondered how long we all would play each other as fools. You knew you weren’t in love with me and yet you still wanted to marry me. Why? Why subject yourself to that kind of torture?”

“Please don’t think that my being with you was ever torture, it wasn’t. As for why, because I did love you, and thought we would have had a good marriage.”

“But not an outstanding one.” AJ had to give her that point. He envied what Bri and LeighAnne had, and had he married Resa, he would have ended up like D and Leigh. What a huge difference that was and what that little “in” word changed.

AJ rubbed his face and stared out over the water. How in the world did things get this screwed up? Although, he knew it was bound to happen, and part of him was happy that it happened now, rather than later. But still, he wished he hadn’t cause so much pain all around.

“I guess there’s really nothing left to say,” AJ muttered, finally looking at her. She smiled softly and shook her head.

“I suppose not.” She glanced down at her hands and fiddled with her ring then finally slipped it off and handed him the diamond. “It’s a beautiful piece, but I highly doubt that she would want it.” AJ watched her then looked at the ring and finally picked it up. He played with it and felt her stand up. “Will you do me a favor?”

“Anything.” After all, he hurt her beyond measure, he would gladly do anything.

“Don’t hurt her. She loves you. In fact, she’s in love with you. As you are in love with her. So, please don’t make me come kick your ass.” AJ smiled and stood up as well, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tight.

“I promise Theresa. And I’m sorry, for everything.” Resa breathed in his scent one last time and squeezed him in return.

“I called a friend and I’m having my stuff removed. What’s left in the hotel room…” Resa trailed off, cleared her throat and began again. “Better yet, I’ll just arrange it with the hotel. I’ll get them later.” All of that made AJ pause. Where was she gonna stay? And what was she gonna do? It wasn’t so much that she was living off of him, but she had depended upon him. And Resa watched all of that on his face and almost laughed. “Don’t worry about me AJ. I’m a grown woman and know how to take care of myself.”

“I know, but…” She pressed her fingers to his lips and shook her head. She slowly leaned in and gave him a soft kiss, one that was filled with nothing but bitter sweetness.

“Goodbye AJ.” And with those soft spoken words, she left him. He turned and watched her go, a huge part of him feeling relief and yet part of him hurting. But, he knew what he had to do.

He glanced at the ring in his hand than then stuffed it back in his pocket. He had to get back to the hotel to talk to Kris.

Chapter 52

Eight months later, he stood on her front porch, shifting his weight from foot to foot. That day, many months ago, he drove her to the airport, and in all truth, they haven’t seen each other sense. Granted, they talked all the time, and Alex knew that this was the woman for him, that with her, he would have what he always wanted. And as she opened the door and smiled at him, ushering him in, he could feel his heart do double time and totally knew.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hey babe.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming till next week?”

“No. I couldn’t wait to see you anymore. I have to talk to you.”

“Um, it’s not the best time…”

“It can’t wait. You’re the woman I love and I refuse to keep waiting to make you mine. So,” he dropped down to his knee and held the pink diamond out to her, “will you please marry me?” He looked up at her, saw that her eyes shifted from behind him to the ring and then back behind him and he quickly glanced behind him, his jaw dropping at who was there. “Theresa?”

“It’s me.” She stepped into the room, looked from him to her and then waved. “What in the world are you waiting for Kris? This time, you have my blessing.”

“Then…YES!” Kris squealed and AJ quickly got up and slipped the ring on her finger, pulling her in for a kiss. Resa watched them for a moment, a smile on her lips for their happiness, and then slipped out, not wanting to ruin this special moment for them.

-----
“You know, I about had a heart attack when I saw Theresa,” Alex said, glancing down at Kris.

“I thought she was going to flip to be honest.”

“What was she doing here?”

“Just talking actually. She has a boyfriend and wanted me to know she was okay. She figured I would end up talking to you and let you know all that.” Kris looked at him, wondering if he would ask.

“Oh, did she mention a name?”

“She did, but she asked me not to tell.”

“Oh!” AJ pulled Kris closer and smiled, his life was finally right. “I’m happy for her, she needs happiness.” Kris snuggled up to him, keeping mum about who Resa was dating. After all, Brian was having a party next weekend and everyone was invited, and she knew that AJ would be going to show her off, so he would certainly see that Resa was finally on D’s arm. “Are you happy?”

“More than happy baby.”

“Good, cause you shot that arrow of love straight through my heart.”